#a's drafts

[dancingbabya-notes]

Cuddlefish

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Yes I know its spelt wrong its deliberate

OG Synopsis: She's your world, your queen. You would do anything to ease her mind that you love her...but sometimes the past lurks close and carries lies you didn't create. Years you have known Meenah Piexes and never once has she danced around a topic. Shes' blunt and won't hesitate to tell someone that they need to rethink their situation. Three years ago she asked you to live with her and never once has she beat around the bush until someone started messing with her at work. I guess even in some relationships a little fighting isn't bad it may even let you both see that you were meant together

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"(Y/N), are you sure about this?" Aranea asks with a raised brow.

"Yes I'm sure, look I know it might not make sense right now, but it's like she's taken over every part of me and I can't imagine a life without her Nea," I sigh looking at the rings under the pane of glass.

"Well, why did you bring me with you again?" She closes her book glancing at me.

"Because you're the only other person who knows what she likes, I want it to be perfect," I smirk, still looking at the matching rings. "Also you are her ring size."

She sends me a glare as the clerk walks over. "What a nice eye you got there ma'am. Are you both?" She points between Ara and me.

"Oh, no. It's a surprise this is my sister," I smile.

"Oh, well the lucky lady must be ecstatic," she sighs.

Pushing my long bangs from my eyes I just nod asking if I could look at the rings.

"You know if you wanted to get stuff for her you could have asked mom," Ara whispers.

"She already does too much for me," I shake her off.

After about 30 minutes of conversation we got the ring. I hold the box tightly in my pocket, I already know where I'm headed.

"Thanks for dropping me off, but you know she would have liked any of those rings as long as you got it with the intention of giving it to her," Aranea explains before going in.

"I know, but I wanted to get her the best one. Nothing less for her, if I could I'd give her the world," I sigh as I begin trekking back to my apartment.

Not very long after, I'm home, and as soon as I open the door I can tell she's not back yet. Setting the box in a vase that we always keep empty I make my way to my studio, glancing at the door I shake my head and sit down starting work. Mee has always told me the world could collapse while I'm working and I won't notice.

"Hey, (Y/n), can you come here?" She asks, catching me off guard.

I pull off my headset and walk out of the room. "Sup babe?"

"Do you know someone named Megido?" She asks, looking at a business card.

"Yeah, she was an ex of mine. I stopped talking to her after we broke up. It was a clean cut, we didn't want anything to do with one another, why?" I ask, sitting on the couch and pulling her into my lap.

Her loose locs spill over the arm of the chair and I smile looking at her. "Hmmm, guess I'll leave this alone." She nods, ripping the card.

Holding her close I start rubbing circles into her back, she sends me a scrunched glare. I shake my head and pick her up walking back to my office.

"Hey what are you doing?" She squeaks.

"I'm taking you with me while I work, all these smiles you're sending me are making me motivated to finish quickly, but that might disappear if you aren't with me," I explain.

"Babe, you haven't done that in a while," she speculates, raising a brow.

"So I'm not allowed to just want you next to me," I frown, still holding her.

"You're ordering dinner tonight no arguments," she bargains and I chuckle, pulling her from a bridal carry to a princess carry.

"Of course heiress," I smile, kissing her gently.

She rolls her eyes and starts playing with my spare tablet while I work. After what only felt like minutes I was done, she had her back pressed to mine with a raised brow at the tablet. She seemed to have been looking through the pictures.

"Shit, I forgot to send that to the computer. I groan looking at the picture of her sleeping figure that she was glaring at.

"When did you take this?" She questions a bit mad.

"Well obviously when you were sleeping a few days ago," I shrug.

"I'm deleting it," she confirms with a sigh.

"What? But why?!" I whine, turning to wrap my arms around her waist.

"Because it looks bad," she pouts. "And cause it's of me, I don't want you taking pictures of me sleeping."

"But that one is my favorite," I frown into her hair.

The picture in question was a pretty nice one, the sun was peeking through the window behind me so her face was graced with a warm glow that one usually wouldn't see. Her hair was framing her face and she was holding my hand while she slept. It was pressed right up against her temple, I could remember how numb my arm was cause it had been there most of the morning. She had an innocent smile on her full lips like she was keeping a secret, and she was mostly tangled in the blanket.

"Why would that be your favorite?" She scoffs, obviously feeling conflicted by my reply.

"Because, hmm. You were so hung over that morning I don't think you know what you said," I shrug and her face quickly becomes pink with her fuchsia blood color.

"Wwhat? You tell me right now what I said or so help me," she stuttered turning her head to look at me.

I press my forehead to hers and kiss her full on the lips smirking against them when the kiss ends.

"You told me you loved me in your sleep," I chuckle.

"What?" She quirks a brown more confused.

"I was up way before the alarm because before going to sleep I thought I wanna wake up at six so I can see what you look like when the sun rises. I just kind of laid in the dark until the light started peeking through and I just wanted to capture you just like that, but before I took the picture you gripped my hand tightly and whispered that you loved me," I explained nuzzling into her neck.

I could feel the warmth quickly rushing up to her cheeks as she locked my tablet and set it down. That might have been one of the first times I really told her how much she meant to me.

A few days passed and I noticed that Mee was coming back home more and more teary, some new employee was working their way into Her social life. Apparently, it was someone I didn't know because she wouldn't tell me their name.

It feels like weeks and every time she gets frustrated more easily, I know it's nothing I can fix.  She would have told me by now I have no right to just barge into her work when I work from home. Seeing her come home in pain every day is just suffocating like she doesn't know what to do. Seeing my usually proud girl slump into the couch with puffy eyes and a shaky chest to match her ragged breathing always unsettled me.

"(Y/n), did you love her?" She whispers and I send a look at her like I was taken aback.

"Who?" I ask.

"You know damn well who," she shouts, pushing me back.

I stare confused, hurt now flooding my face. It wasn't even the fact that I had been pushed to the ground by a fuchsia blood, it was because she doubted my love for her.

"I don't know who. You're usually so fucking blunt and hate beating around the bush," I grunt standing back up as a hurricane of emotions flood the air.

"Damara," she mutters hesitantly.

"What about her? I already told you we broke up no contact after that clean break," I clench my fist anger bubbling up to the top like lava popping through the surface of the earth.

"She said that..." she starts, realization and reluctance to finish her statement run across her face.

"Just, stop. I don't give a fuck what that bulge licker said. Whatever she told you was a lie, and if you're so blind by jealousy, love, that you wouldn't confront me from the beginning then I guess I should leave," I sigh, my fists clenched tight.

Walking into our room I grab a backpack and start throwing clothes inside. Leaving my phone and charger I walk into the office and pull out my tablet and laptop quickly forcing them into the half-empty bag. Without a glance cause I know I would break down into tears and try to keep her from crying more.

"I'll see you around cuddlefish," I sigh, closing the door.

Running down to the garage I board my bike and drive to the only place I know is safe. The Serket house. When I walked in after opening the door Min took a glance at me.

"What happened?" She asks, pulling my bag off my shoulder.

"Shit, I fucked up," I scream banging my hand against the wall with almost enough to force to shatter my knuckles but it just quickly purples into a bruise.

"Whoa, calm down honey, it can't be that bad," my mom offers.

"She will never trust me again mom, do you understand that. I was trying so hard not to lose her. I was going to propose, but that fucking bitch just had to come back into my life," I sob falling to my knees.

"Honey, look at me it's me not mom remember," reminds the blond woman before me.

"I'm sorry miss Serket. I'm just so scrambled right now," I mumble shaking my head. "If that ugh, Damara wasn't even someone I was with for long, how could it affect Mee the way it did," I shake my head more slumping to the ground.

Suddenly the door slams open.

"What in the everlasting fuck did you do to her?" A shout catches my ear

"I didn't do shit, ask fucking Damara. She just waltzed in said some shit to Mee when I had my back turned and all of a sudden I was out on my ass. You knew what I had planned, I love her Aranea, I'm a mess without her," I sigh pushing my bangs back.

"So is she, she was about to shatter a very expensive case of yours till she heard it rattle," she notifies me.

"What? N, no don't tell me I forgot the ring at the apartment," I gasp patting myself down scrambling for the door.

"Go get her," Min shouts as I leave.

The rain comes down just as I make my way to the street. My hair sticking to my face and neck as I run, chest screaming for air as I feel like I'm holding my breath. Stumbling up the stairs and coming to a stop at our door. I open the door and see her sitting on the couch.

"Did you see it?" I whisper, startling her.

"When did you? You're soaked from head to toe," she mutters, grabbing a towel and walking over to me.

Looking down at her I chuckle as tears well up in my eyes. "About a month ago, I went with Nea. She wanted me to get something from her mom instead, but I wanted the fuchsia one for you."

I close the door as the towel is rubbed against my face and through my hair. She refuses to make eye contact with me, letting out a groan. I just wanna run away. Before I can walk away she wraps the towel around my shoulders and pulls me close.

"Why did I let you get so close," she mutters as she kisses me roughly.

"Because I made you my home, so if you kick me out I have nowhere else to go," I chuckled, pulling her into a hug.

[muttmoxley]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[theunfairfolk]

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

[spikehunter]

the xbox is a Machine. the playstation is a Device. the switch is a Toy. the personal computer is also a Machine. what the world needs, is a way to play video games on a Contraption

[artbyblastweave]

I remember meeting a guy at a bar a year or so ago who told me he worked at the international consortium that does the porn parodies of all the top-grossing film releases. He said that the whole Barbenheimer situation presented his combine with some spectacular highs and lows. Because he said that with Barbie, right, the thing about Barbie is that there's already kind of a three-way ideatic, structural parallel between the curated artificiality of Barbie as a children's toy, the curated artificiality of Barbie as a mass market film, and the curated artificiality of pornography as a genre. Add on top of that that Barbie as a film is already feeling this tension, right where it's trying to be about a character graduating from the platonic sexlessness of a children's franchise to the functional-and-frank sexuality of being a living human woman, but it's also being bogged down in the "Everyone-is-beautiful-no-one-is-horny" aesthetic restrictions of any contemporary big-budget mass-market film so the two states end up looking pretty similar, he said. I mean the film itself is very aware of that tension, right, with that joke about how "casting Margot Robbie is the wrong move if you want to make that point," all that jazz. So, all that in mind, Barbie-themed pornography, he said, is in a weird way actually kind of complementary to the extant project, gesturing at unaddressed tensions and ideas, a dark mirror, the shadow self it wants to deny but can't, there's a lot of room to play in the space. He used the adjective "Lynchian" a couple of times, he seemed super stoked, he was talking with his hands. Oppenheimer, on the other hand. Oppenheimer he said presented a problem. Because obviously you can eroticize the detonation of an atomic bomb, we're all probably three mutuals removed from someone on this site who does exactly that, but obviously that's a niche market, and moreover it's a market that has a ton of overlap with high-minded thinkers who treat the historical use of atomic weapons against Japan with the level of gravity that atrocity demands. So they were stuck. They were really stuck. He told me that they'd been pulling their hair out for months trying to square the circle and all they had to show for it was a big whiteboard with the phrase "Grope-nheimer" written on it

[darcyolsson]

in loving memory of tumblr's april fools' pranks 💐 2014 - 2024

icymi, tumblr used to do an elaborate april fool's prank every year, but this year they suddenly stopped. here's a somewhat detailed recap of everything they did over the decade:

2013 - mishapocalypse (honourable mention): tumblr staff didn’t start doing april fools until 2014, but the mishapocalypse happened on tumblr in 2013 and i feel like this list would be incomplete without it

2014 - tumblrpro: upon opening your dash you were greeted by an “inspirational” video, that ended with the option to get “tumblrpro (for free)”. all it did was put a top hat on your icon.

2015 - tumblr executivesuite/coppy: a copying machine appeared in the corner of your dash. it would offer tips on how to use tumblr, like clippy the paperclip used to do in microsoft word. as the day went on, it slowly broke down and died right in front of your eyes. many people hated him (but not me). you could also make a (small) spreadsheet. @executivesuite2016 is the official blog.

2016 - this is decision/lizard election/tumblrdecides: a parody of the 2016 US elections. there were 4 lizards (well, one of them turned out to be a salamander in a scandal) to vote for. the dash looked different and there was a live news report with election updates, as well as an election blog for each lizard. they all had their own slogans and you would get an "i voted" button after you voted that would get slapped next to your icon. there were built-in functions to make an election poster for your favourite lizard and to create a text post that supported your lizard of choice that autogenerated a statement for all your followers to read. imo tumblr’s april fools peak. @thisisdecision2016-blog is the official blog, @mop-2016-blog @wretchedtooth @timefordeborah-blog were candidates. rick also had a blog (rick-official) but that now seems to have vanished because he ended up dropping out of the election. mop won, if you're curious. by far the most elaborate prank tumblr ever did.

2017 - horse friend: a tamagotchi-inspired game where you had to take care of a little horse in the corner of your screen. it came with a randomly generated name, and you had to feed and clean up after it. if you didnt take good care of it, it died. you could then hatch (yes, hatch) a new one. there was also an option to look at the names of all your dead horses. this is now available to buy in the tumblr shop. @horse-friends is the official blog.

2018 - tumblcoin: a parody of cryptocurrency (this was the year bitcoin took off). you could ‘invest’ in tumblcoin, with which you could in turn buy things with to spice up your dash, including last year’s horse friend, coppy from 2015, and a frame for around your icon. you could share the amount of tumblcoin you owned in an automatically generated gif post which would be tagged #tbc2018 and #tumblcoin. @tumblcoin is the official blog.

2019 - @memories: this blog still functions the way it did on april fools itself! it's like mad libs, where it takes post templates and then adds in tags you use a lot and users you frequently interact with on your main blog. like a personalized shitpost bot.

2020 - group chat prank/@storybot: it was so hard to find info on this because it was contained entirely in the now-defunct group chat function, which no one used. i had to go through the notes of this post for information because no one cared enough to actually write anything explaining it. turns out, you could write a story with your mutuals by adding storybot to your group chat. it also kept working after april fools (well, up until the group chats were deleted) just like memories. many people missed out on it entirely because they did not use the group chat function.

2021 - tumblcryptids: tumblr allowed you to adopt “non-fungible tumblcryptids”, a parody of NFTs. clicking a button that said "Summon thy Tumblrcryptid" would spawn an image of a little blob-shaped creature with a short description, which would always read "Hi! My name is [randomly generated name]. I love [thing most people like]. I hate [thing most people dislike]. Like my parent, I can't get enough of #[tag from your main blog]." you could share them in a post, which would automatically add the tag #NFTumblcryptids to your post. and yes, people on the piss on the poor website freaked out about it because they thought they were real NFTs harming the environment. @tumblcryptidadoptioncenter is the official blog.

2022 - click-a-thon: when you clicked a light switch on your dashboard, a bunch of colourful things showed up, like a sponge you could move around, an "engagament meter", clickable buttons, and a “Summon Crab!” button, which would summon a crab when you clicked it. you could. the crabs, like horse friend, are still available in the tumblr store as of 2025. here's some screenshots. there were various ways to share your crab activities, which would all get tagged #april fools 2022. the prank was presented as a marketing technique created by Brick Whartley, a fictional businessman character created by tumblr, who (afaik) originated in a post on the official blog of the 2018 april fools prank, albeit originally in a different role. around this time he also started functioning as the mascot for tumblr's shop ( @emporium )

2023 - abstract reactions (emoji reacts): buttons were added to every post that allowed you to add emoji reactions, many of them based on tumblr inside jokes (horse as a reference to horse plinko/horse friend, vanilla for the vanilla extract meme, pikaman, bug for bug race, and brick whartley, who wasn't a meme but staff really wanted him to be). if one specific emoji was used a certain amount of times it would add an effect to the post, eg many cheese emoji reacts would cover the post in cheese. this was also attributed to Brick Whartley ("his" blog @brickwhartley also documented the day)

2024 - boop-o-meter: allowed you to “boop” other users who had opted in to the booping, like facebook’s poke feature back in the day. depending on how long you held the button, you would either boop, super boop, or evil boop. on the dashboard there was a counter for both how many times you had booped others and how many times others had booped you, as well as how many boops were given side-wide. when booping someone, an image of a cat paw appeared. you would get badges (which can still be used) for booping 1, 100 and 1000 times. if you gave/received more than 999 boops, the counter would switch to showing a three-letter word (see this post for specifics). this was brought back for halloween 2024 (as BOOp-o-meter. get it), with a ghost, skeleton and mummy paw. no official blog, but here's an official recap for april first from staff. i believe this was the only april fools prank that was mobile user friendly.

2025 - @fandom is running some polls, i guess

[plightofthecentipede]

astonishing how good it can feel to get some chores done sometimes. you’ll be sitting there like damn i am some type of horrid little smeagol like creature who should be crushed to death. but then you do some laundry and you’re like wrow. im actually gods most fuckable soldier.

[sushiisiu]

im not gay greg.jpg

[whereisthesun]

I HATE MORAL OCD. well i shouldnt say hate thats a strong word. and i dont want to sound like i hate people WITH moral ocd because i dont of course. i just hate having it. but i shouldnt think that, i do like having morals, its just stressful to be thinking about them so constantly and scrutinizing every little thing i do or think. but really thats the least i could do so i should at least try, right? just because i suffer from— no, struggle with moral ocd doesn’t mean i should just stop thinking about things all together, thats not what im saying and i should make that clear, but i

[kiyomitakada]

liking an unpopular ship is like being dehydrated in a desert and liking a popular ship is like being dehydrated in the middle of the pacific ocean. you understand

[lapdogchase]

they should make being from california illegal [remembers im highly critical of policing and the law as institutions] we should restructure society so that nobody is from california

[katabasiss]

do you guys think jesus, the son of a carpenter, smelt the wood of the cross & temporarily thought of home

[syn4k]

would he fucking say that? let's investigate.

[sunnysidemage]

Gojo gives a class assignment

[phanfuckingtasmal]

bisexuality will really creep up on you huh. one day you're just chillin and suddenly you're like oh my godddddd the other ones