#aLRIGHT all of these rly just take on a life of their own in this series wow ok

[vbecker10]

Hellooo, hope u r doing good , I rly like ur work like it's all amazing ♡

Can I request Loki having a friend who is a mortal -female reader- but she is a mutant who can take up body energy -like Rogue in X-Men- and that's why she was always alone till her and Loki met and she defends him infront of the avengers, and he falls for her slowly ig 😅 -smut or fluff as u want-

Ik it's kinda lame, if u can't write it's alright

In all cases, thanks for the amazing writings ♥️

You Can't Hurt Me

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: You are finally going on a solo mission as an Avenger, or at least you were supposed to. At the last minute, the team decides to send Loki with you which is something neither of you are happy about. After an accident in the field, you come in contact with Loki and the two of you realize your ability to absorb someone's life force, memories and powers doesn't work on him.

Warnings: arguing, swearing, feeling alone, pushing others away, minor injuries, plane crash, Loki being an ass to everyone including you - fluff in the end of course

A/N: I'm so sorry it took me forever to get to this ask. I'm finally going through my requests and I thought this idea was awesome! I tweaked it just a little cause my brain kept going in different directions but I really hope that's okay. Thank you for sending it! I hope you like it! 💚

"Are you freaking kidding me?" you ask in an annoyed tone as you get up from your seat in Steve's office.

Before Steve can reply Loki stands and adds, "I have never agreed with a mortal before but I am afraid I must in this case."

You glare at him and cross your arms. He could agree with you without being an ass about it, you think angrily.

Steve sighs and rubs his temples. "Look Y/N, I know you were supposed to go on this mission alone," he says and you nod dramatically, "But Fury, Tony and I decided Loki's skills would be useful on this mission."

"Then let me borrow his powers," you look at Loki and begin to pull off one of your gloves.

"If you touch me-" he threatens as a dagger appears in his hand with a green flourish. You put your glove back on slowly but you smile to yourself knowing you made the god nervous.

"Stop it, both of you!" Steve says loudly, slamming his hand on the desk. You and Loki both sit immediately on the chairs opposite Steve, you suddenly feel as if you are at the principal's office. He clears his throat and calms himself before he continues, "So far teamwork is not something either of you have excelled at. If you both want to remain on this team," he emphasizes the word, "you will go on this mission together."

"This is absurd," Loki argues and you roll your eyes but agree with him.

"What's absurd is the fact that neither of you are willing to work with anyone," Steve counters. "You are here because you have both been written up for splitting off from the team when we have explicitly ordered you not to."

"You know I'm better off alone," you tell him holding up a gloved hand. "The X-Men never had an issue with me going on solo missions or handling things on my own."

"You are welcome to return to the mutants," Loki offers with a smirk.

"Loki, seriously?" Steve says with an exasperated sigh but the god just shrugs.

"Y/N, just because you can't physically touch anyone doesn't mean you can use it as an excuse to avoid being near people or working with them forever," Steve says turning his attention to you.

"Yes it does," you mumble and sulk down in your chair with your arms crossed.

"And you," he ignores your comment and turns to Loki, "you are still on probation. If you want to remain here, and not be sent back to Asgard, you need to act like a member of this team."

Before either of you can say anything else, he gets up and says, "If you can't work with each other, neither of you will last much longer here. You're dismissed."

You snap your gum and click to the next page of the book you are reading on your tablet. Loki sits across from you with his nose in a book as the autopilot guides the jet towards your destination. You pop your gum again and Loki groans in annoyance. A smirk spreads across your lips, you would feel guilty about bothering him but he spent the morning calling you 'human' so you pop it loudly a third time.

"Will you stop that," he hisses, looking up from his book.

"It's an old habit," you make an excuse and shrug.

"It is an exceptionally annoying habit," he corrects you.

You hold eye contact with the God of Mischief and pop your gum in response. He practically growls as he closes his book but his words are cut off by a warning alarm blaring throughout the jet.

"What the hell is that?" you ask, getting up from your seat.

"I have no idea," he admits as he follows you to the cockpit of the jet.

The plane shakes violently and you almost lose your footing, Loki instinctively reaches out to steady you, his hand grabbing your clothed arm. You nod quickly to acknowledge the gesture and the two of you reach the control panel. A series of red lights blink frantically and your heart races as you try to decipher what is wrong but neither of you knows how to operate the jet.

You flip the switch to contact the base, "Tony what the hell is going on up here?" You know the panic is evident in your voice.

The only response you and Loki get is the crackle of static then suddenly one of the two engines goes terrifyingly silent.

You blink your eyes open slowly, your head pounds and your whole body aches. The smell of smoke and fire fill the air and your eyes sting. You try to sit up and hear someone talking but you can barely make out their words over the ringing in your ears.

"Y/N," Loki says again, shaking your shoulder lightly to get your attention. "Are you alright?" His lip is split and he is covered in dirt. His eyes are full of concern as he kneels over you, not something you are used to from the God of Mischief.

"Yea," you answer him quietly as he leans back a bit so you can sit up straighter, "I think so." You look around in awe at the torn and broken remains of the jet scattered throughout the field, unsure how you are both alive.

"I've radioed the team, they should be here in less than an hour," he informs you in a calm voice.

He rubs your shoulder in a soothing manner and you close your eyes as a breeze blows dust around you both. You shiver a bit and realize your jacket was torn during the crash, panic floods through you when you notice how much of your skin is exposed. Loki's hand gently rests on the bare skin on your shoulder and you pull away from him quickly.

"Don't touch me," you warn him and he backs away from you, his hands up in front of him. "You can't touch me, I'll hurt you," you remind him, trying to cover your skin with as much of left over material as you can. You try to get up to put distance between you and the god but you can't put weight on your left leg, it buckles under you and you fall back to the ground. You look down and see clean gauze wrapped tightly around your calf, your pant leg torn open from whatever caused your injury.

You look down in shock then look up at Loki. "How did you do this?" you ask, noticing the blood on his hands.

He shakes his head, "I don't know. I wasn't thinking, I just needed to stop the bleeding."

"I need to talk to you," he says unphased by your attitude which makes you nervous. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about what happened after the crash." He rubs his hands nervously as if your blood is still on them.

That night you lay in bed staring at the ceiling unable to sleep. When you first climbed into bed, you worried the memories of the crash would prevent you from sleeping but it was the moments after that kept replaying in your mind. Closing your eyes, you can almost still feel Loki's warm hand resting gently on your skin. You roll over, pulling the sheets tightly around yourself when to hear a knock at your door. You sit up and check the clock next to your bed, it's just after midnight.

You limp carefully to the door and open it, unsure who you expect to see. "What do you want?" you ask Loki, easily returning to how you typically treat each other.

You take a step back to let him into your room. You feel anxious knowing he is the first member of the team you've ever invited into your private space. Loki takes a seat on your couch as you pick up your hoodie that is hanging by the door.

"I think I know why I could touch you without your powers affecting me," he says and you look up at him, pausing as you zip your hoodie.

You shake your head and take your gloves out of the pockets. "Strange said it was most likely because I was unconscious," you remind him.

"I don't think your powers work on me," he says after a few moments of silence pass between you both.

"You and I both know that's not true," he keeps his eyes on you as you slip on one glove then the other.

You sit at the far end of the couch, afraid that he is wrong about whatever his theory is. He is right about one thing though, Strange's reasoning didn't explain why Loki was able to touch the skin on your shoulder after you woke up. You had done everything you could since you arrived back home to not think about how that was possible, you were terrified that it was some sort of fluke and would never happen again.

"They work on your brother," you remind him. You had grabbed the older prince by the wrist for only a few seconds during a training session two months ago. You were unable to contain his lightning abilities and fried all the computers in the lab. Thor spent the next four hours unconscious in the med bay. "Being a god doesn't make you special," you tell him in a harsher tone then you mean to.

"Thor and I are not..." he sighs. "We are not the same. You know we are not true brothers?" he asks and you shake your head. "Thor is an Asgardian and although I look like one, I am not."

"So whatever you are is why you think I can touch you?" you ask.

"It is hard to explain," he tells you. "I am from Jotunheim, realm of the frost giants. This is not my true form. I use an illusion to alter my appearance as Odin did before I knew the truth." You can tell by his tone that this is not a story he is used to sharing with others.

You take off your gloves and look at your own hand, remembering the pain and heartache even a light touch has caused to others around you. "Are you sure you want to risk this for me Loki?" you ask. "If you're wrong... I could seriously hurt you."

You listen quietly as he explains how he was taken as a baby and brought up on a series of lies. He rubs his hands nervously as he talks and never makes eye contact with you, staring at the ground as he speaks. When he finishes he lifts his hand and looks at it as he wiggles his fingers slowly, a green glow emanates from his fingertips and flows down his hand. As his magic travels, his skin slowly turns a deep shade a blue, thin ridges form intricate spirals on the back of his hand.

"This is just a well crafted illusion," he says as the glow retracts and the blue fades away.

"If I'm right... you might not need to be so alone," he counters gently.

"I... I don't believe this," you smile. Tears of joy and relief gather as you slowly look up at Loki.

He holds his hand towards you, palm up waiting patiently for you to move. Slowly, you reach you hand out, your heart pounding in your chest. Your fingertips lightly touch his fingertips and you hold your breath as you wait for the pain to spread through both of you but nothing happens. Your eyes lock on your hands as you slide your fingers towards his open palm. You still don't feel anything as you rest your palm on his, your fingers settling on his wrist.

He closes his fingers around your hand and you let out a laugh in shock and disbelief. There is no pain, no burning on your skin or in his veins as his memories are pulled from him or his powers are absorbed. Just his warm, soft skin against yours, a feeling you had almost forgotten.

"You can't hurt me," he says when your eyes met.

"I can't hurt you," you repeat. He raises his other hand to wipe away one of your tears as it travels down your cheek. The simple gesture draws even more tears. It has been so many years since you have been able to feel another person, you can barely hold yourself together. You get up suddenly and walk away from him.

"I'm sorry," he says as he stands.

"It's not... you didn't do anything wrong," you assure him as you wipe your face then wrap your arms around yourself. "It's been almost ten years since I've touched someone I wasn't trying to harm. When I gained my powers, I severed my connection to everyone I've ever loved or cared about. My family, my friends, my coworkers. I left all of them."

He listens to you quietly, not moving closer.

"I'm terrified of hurting the people I care about, that's why I left the X-Men. I was there for eight years and I was becoming too close to everyone. I was constantly afraid someone would try to hug me or give me a high five or just bump into me in the hall. I had to leave and when I came here..." you look down, ashamed of how you acted. "I avoided everyone and antagonized you on purpose so no one would want to be friends with me. I thought it would be easier, safer if no one ever wanted to be near me."

"I understand," he says and you look up as he takes a few steps towards you. "I have my own experience building walls to keep everyone out, even my brother. My reason for keeping the others away is far less noble than yours. You push people away to keep them safe while I push them away to keep myself safe."

"I have been lied to and betrayed by my family my whole life," he reminds you of your conversation only minutes ago. "If I never let anyone in, if I never care about anyone, then they can never hurt me. It's why I've been so rude and condescending to everyone on the team, including you," he admits.

You are quiet for a moment, you know exactly what you want but you are afraid he will turn down your request. "Can I..." you pause and he gives you an encouraging smile. "Can I have a hug?"

"I'm sorry for how I treated you," he tells you honestly. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"I'm afraid I am not very good at hugs," he says and when you look at the ground he adds, "But I can give it a try, for you."

You can't stop the smile that spreads across your face as you move towards him. He puts his arms around you, pulling you close. You wrap your arms around him, your hands settle on his back and your cheek rests against his chest. He is stiff in your arms but after a second, he seems to relax and lowers his cheek to rest on the top of your head.

You close your eyes and listen to his heartbeat, his breathing slows and you feel as if all the tension is leaving your body. After a moment you mumble something against his chest and he chuckles.

"I have no idea what you said," he tells you.

You lift your head and look up at him. "This is the first hug I've had in close to ten years," you repeat.

He touches your cheek gently and says, "That is truly a shame because you give wonderful hugs." You giggle and blush then he adds, "This is the best hug I have had in a very, very long time and I do not plan on letting go any time soon."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

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[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。12:06 AM — SAMPO KOSKI.

notes: friends/acquaintances to lovers, mutual pining but seemingly unrequited love, confessions (kind of lol), happy ending !!, not proof read and also idek if it’s in character but idk i just want to kiss him but he’s also rly punchable so we had to work with that okay

sampo is a bit shameless—it’s what anyone would tell you. personally, you would have to agree.

“so,” he drawls, “how about it, huh? you, me, a fancy little date—”

“no,” you interrupt—it’s immediate, your response, it comes through grit teeth. “you can forget it.”

“alright, alright,” he raises his hands in surrender, “no need to get all aggressive. the sampo koski will change your mind soon enough.”

you’ve lost count how many times he’s asked you this same question. maybe it’s admirable—the way he’s so persistent. maybe it’s dangerous—the way he always gets what he’s after. most people describe sampo koski as an added headache to the already difficult life of the underworld. he’s a bit too lively for his own good, you think. but you’d describe him as pretty words and perfect teeth and cologne that makes your head spin.

you hate it.

“there won’t be any mind changing,” you say promptly.

“oh, c’mon,” he insists, voice effortlessly honeyed and so painfully alluring. “what’s the worst that could happen, huh? we have a good time?” his lips curl into that smile if his. you swallow and look away.

a lot, you want to say. the worst that can happen is a lot.

and it’s easy, you think—to reach over and fix that strand of hair that’s fallen to the wrong side of his face. it’s easy to bump shoulders with him or turn and brush your noses together and feel his hot breath as he exhales.

but that would be toying with overstepping dangerous boundaries, boundaries that are very much set in place by yourself for your own sake. sampo has saved you one too many times from a hard spot—but he’s always managed to disappear just when you think he’s reliable too. he’s too good at bending things in his favor, a little too good at getting what he wants out of everything.

it’s not hard to think what he wants from you—and it’s not hard to imagine him disappearing once again once he’s got it. the difference is you think this time…well, you think this time might just crush you.

“sampo, do you want me to punch you?” you huff, crossing your arms.

it’s late. you’re not sure why he’s gone out of his way to walk you home, but he does and you’re a tad bit grateful. you’d rather not run into a vagrant on your way—and if you do, that’s happily sampo’s problem now.

there’s something about it, about the way he’s dedicated only when there’s something to gain out of it, about the way he’s so sweet and charming as he butters you up with his actions, about the way his smile is gentle around the corners just perfectly to crack your resolve.

he’s so good at what he does—and so painfully bad for your heart. your poor, fragile heart that’s so carefully locked away from his awaiting hand. you think to give it to him would be to hand the devil your soul and trust it’s safety.

you’re not so foolish.

“hey, we’re pals, you and i,” he nudges you with his shoulder. the contact is enough to make your breath pause. “how can you be so cruel?”

there’s a pout on his lips. a perfectly rehearsed, theatrical and conniving pout on his lips that’s meant to add to his charm and chip away at your composure until you give him exactly what he’s after. for a moment, you debate whether or not you’d rather just take on a vagrant or deal with the (very attractive) disaster next to you.

“we’re acquaintances at best,” you purse your lips. “very faintly acquainted acquaintances at that.”

“well that’s just mean,” he gasps, “after all the business deals we’ve had together? i thought i’d be on your good side by now.”

that’s all you think he sees anything as. a good business opportunity. maybe he’s a good friend—he never leaves you for dead and he never really lets you down when you need him most, but perhaps that’s for his own benefit at the end. how else can you have connections if they’re all dead? but you don’t think intimacy is a word sampo uses in his every day vocabulary—much less his every day routine.

“sampo,” you snap, “drop it.”

“hey,” he eyes you, “everything alright?”

you hate that he acts like that—like he cares as his lips curl into that soft frown and his eyes gloss over in concern. it’s so carefully crafted, that mask of his, the one he can turn on to mimic every emotion he might need to fool you that he really cares and he really wants to know if you’re okay.

and you’re not—but he doesn’t need to know that.

“everything would be fine if you quit asking for your stupid date,” you grumble, “cross me off your list for the day.”

he stops walking. you kick yourself for immediately noticing the lack of warmth as soon as he’s not beside you anymore.

“what?”

it’s a simple question. one word. one syllable. yet it says so much. the hurt in his voice, the genuine confusion, the slight shock and the underlying betrayal.

“why’d you stop walking,” you raise a brow, “it’s late and i’m tired—”

“you’re changing the subject,” he cuts you off, “what do you mean list?”

“c’mon sampo, let’s not play this game tonight,” you sigh, “i’m really tired.”

“and what game are we playing?”

“the game of playing dumb,” you snap, and this time, there’s a bit more bite to your words, “the game of asking around to worm your way into everyone’s pants.”

“everyone’s pants? i didn’t know sampo koski had such a reputation,” he chuckles in that playful way of his—but there’s no charm this time, just dryness. “i didn’t know you believed it too.”

“so what am i supposed to believe? that you want to go on a date for fun?”

“that’s usually what people do on dates,” he shrugs, “have fun with people they like.”

he looks a bit wounded. it makes your heart bleed and you don’t like it. his shoulders are slumped and his eyes aren’t looking directly into yours for once—it’s like you’ve peeled off that confidence he wears like a second skin and left something a lot more tender and raw underneath.

something a lot easier to sting with the burn of rejection.

admittedly, you never thought you’d see the day where you’d feel bad for sampo after your rejection. you always thought you’d feel bad for yourself—saying no to everything you want but can’t ever really have. but he makes you feel like he wanted it too….that he’s been craving you just as badly as you’ve been craving him all this time.

“what are you—”

“listen, i….” and then he trails off. like he doesn’t have the right words. like he doesn’t know what he wants to say and has everything he wants to get off his chest all at the same time. like he needs you to know what’s on his mind. in the end, he plasters a grin on his face—one that’s tight and forced as he chuckles, “let’s get ya home, yeah? sampo koski will have you delivered to your door in once piece in no time—”

“sampo,” you sigh, “what do you want from me?”

there’s defeat in your voice. maybe hope. definitely caution.

“a date,” is all he says. “i’ve only ever asked you,” he adds, “if that’s what you’re worried about. no side deals or anything.”

that last part comes with another chuckle that really has no humor at all. it’s dry and empty and maybe even a little bitter.

“look, i appreciate the dedication, but i’d rather not be that fun hook up on the side that—”

“hey! that’s just harsh,” he gasps, “you’d think so lowly of sampo koski? after everything we’ve been through?”

sampo is good at one thing—playing the ever dedicated, ever conniving, ever charming business man. he knows how to lace in sweet words and tempting offers like how the devil whispers sins into your ears. he never cracks, never lets that facade fall even when he’s backed into a corner.

except this time, you don’t think it’s a facade. you think it’s a wall to keep you from noticing the pure heartbreak in his eyes.

it fills you with guilt instantly. it makes you almost hate yourself for not seeing good in him. it makes you feel blind for not noticing all the signs he’s been dropping for so long—signs you know he’s never given anyone else.

who else does he bump shoulders with and walk home in the dark and flick foreheads and make time for even when he’s on a tight schedule? who else gets to hear him talk about his day for just the sake of talking without and not a guise for a deal?

for a second you feel bad—and then you decide that for once, you’ll do something about it.

“sampo koski is always disappearing,” you say softly, taking a step forward, “what if he disappears this time too?”

“sampo koski always comes back,” he reminds you, heart on his sleeve as he meets you half way.

“always?” you ask hopefully.

he nods, like it’s the surest thing he’s promised. “of course.”

“okay, sampo,” you chuckle breathlessly, whether in joy or in disbelief, you’re unsure. maybe both. your hand cups his cheeks and when he leans into it, you decide it’s definitely both. “let’s go on your date. you’re paying.”

“you didn’t have to bring money into it,” he pouts—but the excitement in his voice is almost tangible.

you giggle, squeeze his cheeks together as his hands find your waist. it’s dark and it’s late and you’re tired—but sampo koski is here and nothing else has ever mattered more.

“i expect only the best date from the sampo koski.”

“good,” he grins, charming as ever, a little extra only for you, “because sampo koski never disappoints.”

you kiss him after that. and every day too.

i have been bewitched by the meathead guys 😔

[satoruzlove]

dilf atsumu..😔

- tsum is about 37, reader is 21, mildly suggestive , rly fluffy, tsum has a little son, divorce, cuddles and touching

dilf atsumu who has the sweetest smile lines , from a smile he used to charm every lady in the neighborhood

dilf atsumu who’s a real natural with kids, always kneeling down to any little one he sees and greeting them with a ‘hey there, kiddo’ or, ‘nice to meet you, baby. i’m mr miya.’

dilf atsumu who wishes his ex wife all the best when she decides to split , and needs a hand with his kiddo. that’s where you, his adorable babysitter, come in

you’re a college student and he’s friends with someone who knows you- you were just looking for a little side hustle. atsumu and his baby boy were a perfect fit!!

dilf atsumu who welcomes you so warmly on the first day, hugging you even, large hands rubbing up your back and introducing you to his son; a carbon copy of himself.

dilf atsumu who’s heart swells when he sees how much the little one loves you, and sometimes joins your little play dates together.

dilf atsumu who asks you to stay the night when it’s storming, leaving you to the guest room. when you can’t sleep you toddle downstairs and curl up to a movie

the athlete spots you and joins you, how couldn’t he? his darling babysitter , who does so much for him and his baby, all alone? not on his keen, sharp watch.

he nearly sits down with you, not before grabbing a bottle of wine and two glasses. his lean thighs are spread wide as he pours for you first.

the night goes on and the movie is long forgotten between giggles and slurs of the tongue - your boss’s eyes blown by the amount of alcohol you’ve consumed. more than half the bottle was gone. poof. atsumu was having the time of his life with you.

his cheek propped on his fist, wine glass in the other hand, he giggled as you tried to narrate your first day on campus. the day you fell into the pond, were almost late to a very important class and nearly got set alight. the man let out a bark of laughter when you hicced helplessly.

big, calloused palms rest on your cheeks as he sets his now empty glass down. “ c’mon, lover,” he mumbles, “‘s late for you to be up, no? let me get you to bed, you sadly have class tomorrow,” atsumu said, hoisting you up. your weight felt comforting against him, but not enough for you to walk stably up the winding stairs of his gorgeous home.

he picks you up, your legs firmly around his little waist. you giggle, hands small wound on his neck. your nimble thumbs rubbing on the skin, you slur, “ s- hic- sumu, i can walk,” and it earns a shake of his head. “ you cant even talk, and i got you drunk. let me take care of you for once,alright?”

even as he climbs the stairs with you in hand he doesn’t falter. you’re lighter than a feather. as he reaches the guest room you feel sad, a pout on your lips when he tries to set you down. you resist, hands balling up in his cotton black tee and doe eyes gleaming up at him. he pauses. never has he taken the time , nor had it, to look into your eyes. soft, affectionate, maternal. all things he’s seen in you. the faux blond smoothes your hair and coos to you like he would his own child. “‘m gonna put you to sleep, ‘kay? that’s all. nothing else.” he says. you know he’s only trying to convince himself at this point as he climbs into the little bed with you, face so close to yours. your head rests on his chest, the same adorning eyes looking up at him. his own honey- glazed gaze is hooded with love, desire even.

everything stops for a moment. the way your lips are stained a deep red from the wine and are parted is like the ancient latin scrawled across decayed paper, tucked into a tomb and sacred. his only mantra and the thing that leads his every movement. your eyelashes flutter, hands propping up your weight- and you do everything for your boss. you kiss him softly first, a mesh of little pecks. atsumu feels blood rush to his head as his hands knead at the bone of your hip, thumbs stroking your thigh.

his skin burns, it’s hot to the touch. there’s a firey dance of nervousness under it, buzzing and bubbling that fuels his movement. his hands snake under your shirt , now squeezing your waist. he feels dizzy when you pull away, a little saliva connecting you. keeping you together. the sight makes him ache, yearn for you more.

a drunken giggle leaves you,“ thought you were putting me to sleep, mr miya?”

“maybe..” he trails off, his palms guiding you by the back of your head so your lips are centimetres away from his,

“ maybe another way, little one.”

[aanoia]

rip james potter I believe he would’ve loved taylor swift and for some reason I associate him specifically with London Boy so can you write something w that plsss I love ur writing

YES james would be a swiftie and everyone knows it. I rly hope I did this justice bc there are so so many lyrics, t swizzle makes it so difficult sometimes

London Boy

James Potter x reader words; 2255 song; London Boy by T Swizzle warnings; none rly, js a douchy Ravenclaw my masterlist Remus is Elvis, James is Taylor, Sirius is Lana. PROVE ME WRONG. u cant. anyway, i tried making pancakes for breakfast (at 1pm) and it did not go well. I used three pans and burned multiple pancakes but oh well if you love a song, the marauders, and my writing, request a song fic and your wish shall be my command. HAVE FUN

(I've used this gif so many times and idec)

(We can go driving in, on my scooter)

(Ah, you know, just 'round London)

I love my hometown

As much as Motown, I love SoCal

And you know I love Springsteen

Faded blue jeans, Tennessee whiskey

Transfering from Ilvermorny to Hogwarts was quite a difficult thing to do. The culture shock, the stares, the comments on your accent, everything. It was so much different and dare I say, maybe even better. But that’s mostly because every pretty girl and cute boy you saw had such a dreamy accent you fell in love on the spot.

But something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent

I abruptly stopped walking as the most beautiful sound on Earth filled my ears.

“Y/n?” My new friend and roommate, Lily, asked.

“Who is making that sound?” I asked, peaking around the corner. His bright smile and adorable dimples made my heart speed up as Lily looked over my shoulder and scoffed.

“He’s not worth it, Y/n. That’s James Potter, he's a total dick.” She said, pulling me back  but I froze again as his voice filled my ears. I looked at Lily with an open mouthed smile and she shook her head at me, fighting off a small smile of her own and grabbing my arm, dragging me away.

They say home is where the heart is

But that's not where mine lives

“Oh, how the tables have turned.” Sirius joked as Y/n sauntered away, her usual smirk still on her face despite being rejected for the thousandth time. 

James threw a piece of toast at his face, “Shut it, Pads.”

“I don’t understand.” Remus started. “You obviously like her, why do you keep saying no?”

“He likes the attention, duh.” Peter spoke up with a teasing smile. James rolled his eyes but didn’t deny it.

“Maybe it is a little nice to finally receive the same attention I used to give out, but is that so wrong?” He asked and Remus shook his head.

“Well, I think it is. It wore down on you, Prongs. And you know it. Eventually, it started to hurt you a lot, who says that’ll be different for her?”

You know I love a London boy

I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon

“I’m actually really glad I finally said yes.” James said as we sat in the Three Broomsticks.

I snorted, “Me too. We Americans know how to date, alright. With me, you’ll have the time of your life.”

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you

I smiled widely as I made eye contact with James from across the classroom. He blushed and winked, before scribbling down on a piece of parchment, balling it up and throwing it to me. I unfolded the paper and smiled at the writing. Wanna go out? Yes ☐, Yes ☐ I laughed quietly and wrote down my answer, throwing it back and almost hitting another student in the head.

He frowned at my answer and I winked back, making him shake his head with a silent laugh. 

Nope ☑

Took me back to Highgate

Met all of his best mates

“I will beat you, silly American.” Sirius seethed, scanning the chess board as I sat, smirking widely. 

“Nah, you won’t, Brit.”

“Y/n, you should really give me your notes for Potions, I fell asleep.” Peter said with a sheepish smile and I motioned towards my bag, not taking my eyes off the board.

“I finished the book.” Remus said, coming into the common room. “Thank you for letting me borrow it, Y/n. It was a truly amazing book, and your annotations made it even better.” He said, setting the book on my bag and I gave him a thumbs up.

My smirk grew as I met Sirius’ eyes.

He shook his head, “Don’t you dare.” I opened my mouth. “Y/n, don’t say it. Don’t do i-”

“Checkmate.” He groaned in annoyance and flipped the board. I giggled as I picked up the pieces, proud of my win. Little did I know James watched me with a fond smile as he witnessed me interact so greatly with the people that meant most to him. Next stop, his parents.

So I guess all the rumors are true

You know I love a London boy

Boy, I fancy you, ooh

“Hello, dears. Come on in.” James’ mother said with a warm smile and I nodded, stepping into her cozy home with a smile.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” I said kindly and she waved me off.

“Please, the pleasure is all mine. When I found out my little Jamesie finally got himself a girlfriend I was ecstatic!” She giggled and James groaned.

“Mom!”

And now I love high tea

Stories from Uni and the West End

You can find me in the pub

We are watchin' rugby with his school friends

“No, no, no- ahh damnit.” I groaned, the Quidditch team I rooted for losing the game in anger as Sirius cheered.

“Yes! Take that, Miss America!” Sirius boasted and I rolled my eyes, shoving his shoulder roughly.

“You’re an ass, Black.” I said with a smile so he knew I was joking.

Show me a grey sky, a rainy cab ride

Babes, don't threaten me with a good time

“Let’s dance.” I said, standing up from the ground and brushing myself off before offering my hand to James.

“In the rain?” He asked, his eyebrows raised.

I nodded, “Yes. In the rain.”

James laughed and shook his head before taking my hand and lifting himself up. “May I have this dance, m’lady?”

“Why of course, kind sir.”

They say home is where the heart is

But God, I love the English (THE BEST PART OF THIS SONG)

“You guys, I’m gonna be so for real with y’all here, I will never get tired of hearing your voices.” I said seriously and everyone burst out laughing. I shrugged, “I’m serious-” I pointed at Sirius who opened his mouth to make a joke. “Don’t even think about it. But, if I could listen to you guys 24/7 I would, other than Sirius of course. His voice makes me wanna stab my ears with a butter knife.”

“You’re mean.” Sirius pouted and James placed a big kiss on my cheek with a proud smile.

“That’s my girl.” He said proudly.

You know I love a London boy

I enjoy nights in Brixton, Shoreditch in the afternoon

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you

“Dude.” I said to James as we laid on our stomachs in the common room, the fire crackling next to us.

“Dude.” He responded, a lazy smile on his lips.

“I like, hm, how do you English put it?” I feigned thinking for a second and gasped. “Ah yes, I like, fancy you or something.”

“Or something?” He asked.

“Mhm.” I hummed.

He lifted up on his elbows, resting his chin in his hand. “Well, I like, fancy you or something, too.”

Took me back to Highgate

Met all of his best mates

So I guess all the rumors are true

You know I love a London boy

Boy, I fancy you

“Do you miss Ilvermorny?” James asked quietly as we cuddled on his bed, the only sound being Sirius’ soft snores.

“Sometimes. I miss my friends mostly.” I told him and he hummed.

“If you had the opportunity to go back, would you? Like completely move back and start attending Ilvermorny again.”

I thought about it for a second before shaking my head, despite James not being able to see it, “No. I wouldn’t. There’s this boy here-”

James laughed quietly, “Oh really?”

“Yep.”

“Tell me about him.”

“Well, he’s super super cute and his voice is music to my ears, I’m telling you. He’s also super good at Quidditch and because of that he's got thunder thighs and thick thighs save lives.” He laughed, trying to muffle it so his friends didn’t wake up. “He’s just amazing. So I wouldn’t want to leave him, or any of the new friends I’ve made.”

So please show me Hackney

Doesn't have to be Louis V up on Bond Street

Just wanna be with you

Wanna be with you

“Uh, excuse me, why are you bothering my girlfriend?” James asked, wrapping his arm around my waist and I deflated, instantly feeling comfort.

The Ravenclaw boy in front of us scratched the back of his neck, “Sorry. Didn’t know you guys were dating, though, Y/n, you could do much better than this Gryffindor slug.” He shrugged and James tensed.

“You littl-”

“James.” I said, placing my hand on his arm. “He’s not worth it, take a chill pill.” 

“Yeah, that’s right. Listen to your little bitch.” The Ravenclaw said, turning around and walking back to his snickering friends. 

I pulled my wand out quickly and muttered a quick spell at his back, causing him to fly forward, knocking over him and his friends who all groaned in pain on the floor. I looked up with a smirk and made eye contact with Professor McGonagall, my smile dropped. She glanced at the knocked over boys and then back at me, winking and walking away as if she didn’t see a thing.

Stick with me, I'm your queen

Like a Tennessee Stella McCartney on the Heath

Just wanna be with you (wanna be with you)

Wanna be with you (oh)

“Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for.” Dumbledore said with a smile on the stage. “The Yule King and Queen.” He opened the envelope slowly, dragging it out as long as he could. His smile widened as he read the winners. “James Potter and Y/n L/n, except, Y/n is our King and James is our Queen.” The students laughed loudly as James and I high fived, planning it all along.

We walked onto the stage and got our crowns before bowing dramatically to the crowd who chanted our names, hands in the air. Dumbledore shook his head in amusement, his own laughs falling from his lips.

“Oh, children.” He muttered, walking off the stage.

'Cause you know I love a London boy

I enjoy walking Soho, drinking in the afternoon (yeah)

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet

Darling, I fancy you (you)

“Are you ready?” James asked, mounting his broom and giving me his signature smile.

I shook my head, “Nope. I don’t trust you one bit, James. You’re gonna kill me, I’ve seen how you fly.” I said, taking a step away from the broom.

James held out his hand, “Come on, don’t be a wuss.” I sighed and got on the broom behind him, immediately wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. He laughed and flew up in the air. “This is something I could get used to.” He said and I could hear his smile.

“Me too.”

Took me back to Highgate

Met all of his best mates

So I guess all the rumors are true (yeah)

You know I love a London boy (oh)

Boy (oh), I fancy you (I fancy you)

“So, James, will you marry me?” I said on my knee and James snorted.

“You’re such a dork.” He teased and also got down on one knee, pulling a small box from his pocket.

“No shit, you copycat.” I said with a smile as he opened the box to reveal a beautiful ruby ring.

“Y/n, I’ll marry you if you marry me.” He said and I nodded.

“It’s a deal then.” 

So please show me Hackney

Doesn't have to be Louis V up on Bond Street

Just wanna be with you

(Boy, boy, I fancy you, oh whoa, oh, oh)

“Hello, Harry.” I whispered quietly to my newborn, gently brushing the little bit of hair he had out of his face.

“You two are so beautiful.” James said from my side, admiring his son. 

“He’s gonna be British.” I said with a smile and James snorted. “I’ve always wanted a little British baby.”

“You are so weird.” 

I kissed James, “You love me.”

“I do.”

Stick with me, I'm your queen

Like a Tennessee Stella McCartney on the Heath

Just wanna be with you

(Wanna be with you)

(I fancy you, yeah, I fancy you)

“Bye, Harry! Have fun!” I yelled out, pushing down my tears as eleven year old Harry boarded the Hogwarts express for the first time. “Be safe!” I sighed as the train took off and spun the ring on my finger.

“I hope those twins let him help with pranks. You know I slipped them the map.” James said from beside me and I looked at him with wide eyes.

“You what?”

He nodded proudly, “Yep. I slipped the Marauders map into George's bag. Or was it Fred? You know, I really have no clue with those two.”

I snorted and patted his shoulder, turning around to walk out of the platform, but yelped as I was pulled back. James turned me around and planted a fat kiss on my lips, a smile evident on his face.

He pulled away and rested his forehead on mine, “Let’s have another kid.”

I snorted, “Two of you are enough, I don’t need a third.”

“That sounded like a yes.”

“It sounded like a no.”

It apparently was a yes.

Ooh wooh ooh

taglist (if u wanna be added comment);

@loving-and-dreaming @1lellykins @poetrypirate

[elliotly]

Alright, now I’m curious, what do you think is appropriate use of the dies irae? Like when should it be used and how sparingly?

I think the best uses of it ive seen are ones where I don’t fully notice it at first because it blends seamlessly. I think it’s just frequently used to cheaply draw the audience’s ear to something bc it’s familiar sounding and reminds them of spooky things or whatever. The most extreme example of this is Frozen 2.

1) I feel like the piece tonally has to fit (some pieces Rely on it to create a sense of doom & death but I think the rest of the song should also be doing work to create that ambience if that’s what you’re going for.) I guess the exception is if you’re using it to be funny/campy. Which is not rly my interest or area of expertise so idc really

2) My personal thing against it is it just often feels unwarranted. Like I think you need a healthy dose of composer hubris to be like Yes 👍 I want to be among the ranks of people who have musically quoted the Dies Irae. Which I don’t think I’ll ever have in my lifetime but to each his own ig

3) This might seem obvious but I think it has to make sense in the context. E.g., I Hate and I Love is about wanting to fall wholly in love but not wanting to let go of society’s approval (i.e., Quincy values his academic ambition and stuff bc all their life they’ve been told that’s Good To Have even if pursuing it makes them less mentally healthy. Quincy is scared that falling in love with Vincent will make them A Less Valuable Member of Society because they’ll be happy/able to relax instead of overworking themself all the time. Thus he thinks he “hates” Vincent for taking away their previous “identity” — one built around toxic ideas about self-worth — when actually letting themself be wholly in love with Vincent is much better for them.) I guess you could tie it to the Last Judgment stuff (but wouldn’t Litany be more appropriate?) but it doesn’t seem related enough to death/funeral rites imo (and if it’s about a metaphorical death of something, it would be making subtext too textual because, again, it’s v recognizable and on the nose.) BUT again, to each his own 🙂‍↕️

[foulbearobservation]

avalil au where lilith is the grim reaper and she keeps trying to go get ava to drag her down to death and every time ava is like hang on let's play a game and if I win you let me have a little longer and lilith's like. fuck it, I'm my own boss I guess I can let this happen. and she just keeps losing to ava and every time ava asks for just a little longer lilith just lets it happen because she's very whipped (if you ask her she is honoring the letter of their agreement). until one day ava's more morose than usual (she got murdered by her caregiver. she's not super into this whole "living" thing as much right now.) and lilith is like. hey let's play checkers and ava's like girl if it's my time to die then I don't rly have a lot worth living for so I'd by alright with dying right now actually. and lilith has this moment where she's bodyslammed with the realization that she's not okay with ava dying so she lets ava go again and ava goes back to life (as graceful as ever, which is to say her consciousness slams back into her body at mach 3). then there's like a stretch of years and years and years where lilith doesn't see ava at all and she's like ??? and then it's been 50-60 years and then lilith finds ava again except this time ava loses their little game (it was ava's turn to choose. she is deliberately bad at chess) and lilith is like. I'm sorry I have to take you to the great beyond. and ava's just like, it's not scary with you next to me.

[rollercoasterwords]

Hi rae hello how r u!!!!!!

Thank you for making me cry with the last chapter i rly needed that

Dorcas and sirius are so tragic it hurts, the part where they discuss having an heir and dorcas suggests taking dreamless sleep made my insides churn rly

Sirius not being able to torture bc he can't find the wall in his mind to hide and pretend he's just a knife

Also in regulus pov we saw how s became like a puppet and how life was sucked out of him when his parents obliviated him and now sirius is going through that phase even more intensely, his last two years are gone and he feels a yearning he doesn't understand, his magic is strange to him and he is in a miserable marriage he can't get out of, he suspects he betrayed voldemort but he can't even think about it in fear of voldemort seeing it, his now wife was relieved he was gone and maybe in some aspect wish he was dead bc that might actually be better than the alternative, part of him is dead already, he is so utterly alone and always under watchful eyes of his parents and voldy that he isn't even safe in his own mind.... The misery is Real

I never rly liked peter in fact he's the character i hate the most in canon because he made all the wrong choices when he had the chance to make the right ones and now to see how it parallels his role in atwmd is like a punch in the gut

And and and the part where sirius looks at the full moon and grieves made me feel like i'm having an open heart surgery with no anesthesia

Anyways i hope ur okay and life is treating you well and also wish you a wonderful worm moon this month!!! I'll be thinking about you when the moon becomes full <3 much love and kisses to ur brain as usual <333

hi hello im doing alright!! surviving etc…ur welcome 4 the tears <3

dorcas & sirius reunion was such fun 2 write what if marriage was horrible & made u wanna die etc…& yeah having fun playing around w like. the idea that memory isn’t just ~in ur mind~ or whatever & thinking abt what kinds of memory might be stored elsewhere in the body & what kind of changes might stick even if u don’t consciously remember them…also glad that the feeling of like. alienation is coming thru! the mindfuck of feeling detached from ur body (& life) bc u know it’s done things & had things done 2 it but u feel as tho those things happened 2 something that was not u…& yeah the fact that he can’t even really try 2 figure out what actually happened without risking his life. fun!

i’m not a big peter fan either lol i do think he’s a fun character 2 play around w tho! like in this fic specifically joining the de is an avenue 2 certain kinds of privilege that (from his pov) he’s had 2 work really hard 2 access etc…he’s not necessarily straightforwardly evil so much as representative of a person who buys into a corrupt system & the power it promises which both sirius + regulus have also done in different ways at different points so! fun 2 think abt the parallels & divergences between the three of them…

anyway glad u enjoyed the ch appreciate the love & well wishes xoxo

[unicyclehippo]

Still on my palindrome kick - how about deified?

(forgot to use the word itself AGAIN rly sorry. but it’s all abt the eventual vibes. pls forgive me)

//

it all feels sort of unreal, still. jumping from plane to plane—jumping after laudna as she threw herself forward into this portal, reckless, like she didn’t care that they’d gone to all the effort to bring her back—to yet another plane. and the fey realm really doesn’t help. everything is heightened here—the colours, the sounds. fearne. taller than ever, delicate antler peeking out from riotous curls, eyes wide and gleaming with cheerful guile. laudna looks the same, but awestruck, of course. of course. it’s beautiful here, it is, and imogen is fascinated too but. she’s tired and her mind wants to drift, soothed and roused in turns by the vibrancy of this place, and something about that damn tuning fork has shaken her right out of order.

‘are you feeling alright, darling?’ laudna asks, touches cool fingers to imogen’s arm, above her leather gloves and below her sleeve. right against the skin.

imogen forces a smile, nods. ‘just fine, laud.’ laudna doesn’t believe her, why would she? imogen pats her hand. ‘you don’t have to worry about me. my minds all abuzz, that’s all.’

‘entirely your own mind?’ laudna’s other hand creeps up, curls around the back of imogen’s neck. it’s chaste and kind—cool against her skin, it offers instant relief, respite—and imogen feels the worst sort when her mind tugs free of her control and she wonders, briefly, whether laudna has allowed herself to see their position as someone else might. standing so close together, laudna’s hands on her in what is a loose embrace. it would be easy—very!—to lift her head and bring their lips together.

‘imogen?’

‘wh-what was that?’

‘i asked if you are entirely in your right mind,’ laudna repeats, enunciating her words clearly. the hand on imogen’s arm drifts up; she presses her fingertips to imogen’s temple and stares. she hasn’t the magic to tell, nor to fix whatever she fears may be wrong, but she narrows her eyes to such an intense line that imogen dreams she could turn sideways and slip right into imogen’s mind.

where she belongs, a fierce thought rumbles, entirely imogen’s own.

imogen blinks, looks away. up the crooked, vine-coiled path to the manor. ‘he didn’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re angling for.’

‘angling? i would have hoped you would tell me without my needing to pry,’ laudna says, teases really.

‘of course i would. he didn’t do anythin’ to me. i swear.’

laudna regards her a moment longer. then, she smiles. ‘you sang very prettily. to the flowers. i didn’t know you could sing.’

‘me?’ imogen laughs. ‘i sing fine enough, i guess, but you’re the one who charmed ‘em.’ she clicks her tone, feigns hurt disbelief. ‘can’t believe you’ve never sung for me, not once.’

‘an oversight on my behalf.’ laudna’s voice dips into an unfamiliar warmth, a little shaky. ‘after all, a pretty flower deserves a song, yes?’

before imogen can parse the comment, laudna has fluttered away, up the path. imogen follows a little more slowly, adds one more confusion to the riot in her mind.

//

nana’s treehouse is. terrifying. imogen wants to leave. it’s not the size, or the skins, or the strange concoctions, or the two-faced—literally!—nana, or the screaming face tapestries or the creatures that crawl across the roofs. well. all of that is pretty peculiar but at this point, she’s decided to take it all in stride. this is her life now. like fearne said, first there was a bunch of animated furniture and now here they are.

it’s not the strangeness of the place. it is, imogen decides as they piece together a warm breakfast—or meal, really, when there isn’t any time in particular—complete with a cocktail, the totality of it.

the tree, the dome, the collection. fearne, to a certain extent. all of it falls within morrigan’s fane. the words and their meanings are all a little beyond imogen’s working knowledge but she can feel it in her skin, funnily enough.

morrigan holds it all. there’s a knot, a nexus, in the weaving of this fane. the manner of things, how they move and think, their very beings, act according to morrigan’s whim. even when she doesn’t tug on the weave, imogen can feel it. the pull. everything that exists in this place belongs to morrigan. it sets imogen’s teeth on edge.

‘you’re fidgeting,’ morrigan murmurs, in a voice like scuttling mice.

imogen tries not to jump. she’s standing alone—or had been, up until this very moment—on one of the garden platforms. she’d walked through a broken arch to get here and that seemed fitting. morrigan stands folded in on herself, bouldrous form avalanched a little smaller, craning head flush to her chest. imogen can feel the weight of eyes on her and thinks the smart thing to do would be to keep watching the churn of the fen; her skin prickles and burns and she hopes there’s no lightning behind her eyes when she turns instead, meets morrigan’s gaze.

‘i must have slept a little odd. nothing to your guest house, it was beautiful. and creepy.’

morrigan smiles toothily. ‘thank you. but that’s not it.’

‘it isn’t?’

‘no.’ a long, long finger unfurls. hovers over the forking end of a lightning mark barely visible above Imogen’s gloves. she doesn’t touch; the reaction of ashton’s brain glass seems to have instilled a wariness. ‘tell me, what colour are the candles here?’

imogen frowns. she glances out to the arcane candles; the flames orbit the tree, turning a slow waltz through branches and around tormented topiary. every one of them glows an oil-slick blue.

‘no orange?’

‘no,’ imogen shakes her head.

‘curious.’ the long, long finger pulls away. folds back into a big fist. morrigan’s voice is a whisper now, as much as the large being can whisper. ‘and my collection. what did you think of it?’

it is dangerous to lie to the fey, imogen recalls; she cannot think of a single reason why she would, right now. the answer is an easy one, though morrigan is growing more and more correct by the second. imogen’s skin itches as she thinks on morrigan’s collection.

‘it is yours,’ imogen says simply.

morrigan nods. ‘yes.’

‘yes,’ echoes her second head.

‘i had a feeling you might say that.’

sometimes it is safer to talk and flee than bite and chew, imogen recalls too. she eyes the broken arch, the path that leads back to safety, and addresses her respectfully. ‘have i upset you, lady morrigan?’

it earns her a nod of approval. ‘not at all, dearie. not at all. you’re a dangerous one, aren’t you?’ it is more appraisal than question, so imogen doesn’t answer. ‘the red moon has its hooks in you. it wants to tear you apart, eat you up. i wonder why that is.’

‘all it wants is to eat. i don’t think it’ll single me out.’

morrigan tilts her head to an obscene degree, owlish, almost. ‘you’re caught in a net,’ she says. ‘but on which side?’

[frecklystars]

It's August 4th!!! It's my first anniversary with Sebastian 🥺💙

La La Land was the first Ryan Gosling movie I watched after Barbie. I wasn't hyperfocused on Ryan's characters at all yet (except Ken, but it was still so early); I wasn't planning on watching all of his movies. I didn't daydream about the "Mojo Dojo Casa Keri Ken Dreamhouse" with all of the Ryan F/Os all gathered together and chilling out in one big room. I had no idea I'd eventually have a whole group of F/Os I would get to love and cherish. After Ken, Sebastian was the very first "new" F/O, and tbh that's really impressive considering how badly I was hurting back then. I shouldn't have been able to feel so much love as I did, but!! I did!! And now here we are!! I've probably watched this musical over 30 times now, I've lost count. I don't go a day without humming at least one song from the soundtrack. It's such a comfort for me ;w;

I didn't immediately feel all of the self shippy love and butterflies in my chest when I first watched La La Land. I didn't feel safe self shipping w/ Seb at first; everything was still so fresh, I was still hurting. But I think feeling so safe and loved with Barbie and Ken helped me ease into eventually feeling safe with Sebastian. At that point in my life, that really shouldn't have worked out! But it did work out! I remember I kinda added him to the F/O list as a "kissed and thrown into the pile and never to be thought of again" kind of F/O when I first watched the movie. I thought to myself "well, that was a film and I didn't feel much, I probably will never watch it again." Famous last words lol. Despite telling myself I didn't like the movie, I kept thinking about the movie... again and again and again... for days... until I finally told myself "alright fine I guess I'll rewatch it!" and then I did, and I started to really love and enjoy it. And then I started to believe Sebastian would rly love and care for me, that I didn't have to be scared of him. And now here we are a year later :D

Self shipping with Sebastian has motivated me to try new things, or even pick up old hobbies. I've been playing the piano again for the first time in almost eighteen years, taking lessons and learning how to play City of Stars, bc it makes me think so fondly of him when I hear that song (of course). Loving Sebastian has made me want to try watercolor painting for the first time, because more than anything, I really really want to paint us together floating in the stars. I've even picked up sculpting, making a tiny little stage, posing little sculpted figures of me and Sebby dancing together. Sebastian is the whole reason why I've started making my own self ship versions of movie screenplays. He's inspired me and helped me come out of my comfort zone bit by bit.

It's amazing how Sebby has done so much for me, even though he isn't an F/O that I talk about as often as I do with Ken or Driver, he is still very much a main F/O who is so important and exceptional to me. I think he will always hold a very special place in my heart because he is the first Ryan F/O I picked up after Ken. I was hurting so badly back then, I shouldn't have felt as loved and safe as I did, but I did, and that means something to me. All of my Ryan F/Os have made me feel so safe and loved during this whole year when the feeling of safety was foreign to me, when feeling loved by F/Os became so unfamiliar. All of them are dear to me, and Sebby's positive effect he's had on me is noteworthy for sure. I think one of the many things about Sebastian I love the most is how supportive he is. I know if I ever wanted to get back into acting, he'd be my number one fan. The whole plot of La La Land is him endlessly supporting his his gf who wants to become an actor!! I just know he'd do the same for me. One day I'll feel brave enough, but until then, I am rly proud of myself for picking up piano and painting and sculpting - and hopefully one day, acting. In the meantime, it's so easy to imagine this guy giving me his full encouragement 24/7.

We fit so well, too. The whole City of Stars thing?? When I am the Star Girl™??? Not to mention how we both can feel so comfortable opening up to each other about our special interests (this man is super autistic and no one can change my mind on that. something something insert "he is literally me" meme here). I want him to infodump to me about jazz. I want to show him Nick Blaemire's jazz band and I want him to get excited about it, because Nick's jazz music is just as old fashioned, the kind Seb appreciates. I know he'd listen to me infodump too, he'd get all excited with me. I love daydreaming soft things with him - kisses in the rain, walks in the park, slow dancing among the stars, him playing the piano for me to try to lull me to sleep, me surprising him with little love notes and doodles posted all over hidden places in his apartment for him to find throughout his day, planetarium dates, movie dates, driving around in his 1982 Buick Riviera and holding hands, getting coffee together... I can go on.

Ok I've rambled enough. I'm so glad I am able to talk about an F/O who has brought me joy. Happy anniversary, Sebby. Thank you for helping me get through a really rough year. I hope we have many more together 💙💙💙

[lifesver]

I'm curious about Leland's family! How's Cecil and Lorelai, their marriage? How do you think their marriage impacted Leland? Views on marriage n lifetime partnership etc.

ohh hi anon, thank you for the qs!! <3 good soup + sorry this is a late answer!

i think that like... to begin with the mckinneys were very much a picturesque magazine cover type family. they were pretty well-off and middle class, lived in a suburb, well-liked in their community etc. i think cecil brought in the money for the most part and lorelai stayed at home while raising the kids. lorelai married him pretty young, though, and he was a little older. they were probably pretty happy for a while, but eventually they had their differences, especially when it came to raising their kids. cecil was controlling in general, and put a lot of pressure on his family to be a shining example at everything tbh. his kids had to all be the best at what they did in school. that kinda thing.

and tbh lorelai wasn't one to put up with being pushed around. and the mama bear she is she rly tried to protect leland as best she could. (yk, only son syndrome. leland always struggling to be what his dad was telling him to be) and the problem was again like, mainly that cecil controlled their finances, so it was very hard for lorelai to be independent from him. plus divorce was obv less common and could sometimes still be stigmatized. prob especially in a small town where everyone knows everyone. lorelai is a tough lady but she probably caught a bit of flack, there were some not nice rumours about her that floated around w/ the other suburban moms i'm sure. and the whole thing got dragged out a lot in general.

prob during the time leland was starting highschool was when things started to get a lil bumpy with his parents’ marriage? i think around the time leland heads off to university is also when lorelai boots cecil out (though it becomes a bit of a cycle of kicking him out and letting him back in). so during their rough patches lorelai sort of had to pick up the slack for their finances, raising 2 kids on her own for a while and helping her older ones with money when they needed it. trying to make sure leland could continue at school. later making sure april was doing alright with her new baby.

it was kinda like, hard having to watch his mom let his dad back in the door. giving him another chance, whether part of it was emotional or part of it was like. literally to think of her kids (even tho //cw abuse and alcohol mention but cecil being in the house meant leland got roughed up a bit by him when he drank or felt like blowing off steam or just wanted someone to pick on ://). so for a few years (after the house) leland had to deal w his dad being in and out of his life as well.

all that to say i think that... marriage is something leland would still like to think about. he's a sappy romantic deep in his heart. he would think about proposing to his s/o or being proposed to and sigh dreamily about it fr. kicking his damn feet mentally. but the reality is that marriage is a commitment and a promise to someone. so he would never want to take that lightly. he would want to be very sure. and i think he wouldn't marry someone that hadn't already been his friend for some time, you know?

i think any negative feelings leland has toward marriage as a concept more has to do w like... the societal construct of it. the way it seemed like it 'trapped' his mother for several years of her life. where it seemed like at some point his parents were never happy around each other. and i think as with all things rly, leland worries he himself might grow up and be something like his dad. and that's scary to him. bc he doesn't remember his dad always being mean. you know? so he sort of internalizes a worry that he could even possibly behave the same in a committed relationship like that (newsflash he would never be like that. but the worry is there!)

[trickstarbrave]

I hope your dog will be alright :(

thanks anon but unfortunately he's getting put down in the morning :((( it's not an easy decision to make but his quality of life took a nose dive. i know he's in pain and can't even walk or move around on his own, not to mention isn't really enjoying eating anything and can't stay hydrated or go to the bathroom really well.

we've been doing all we can but even if we could afford chemo (which we rly cant) he'd only have at best a couple more months and only a hope his symptoms would improve but i think any vet would look at him and agree he got rly bad rly fast and it's probably the more humane option to put him to sleep so he isn't suffering anymore.

i'm just taking it rly hard bc he's just a lil guy and got rly bad rly fast. a few weeks ago he was normal and fine, going on car rides and eating his food and barking whenever my dad came to visit all excited. now he just lays there and can only cry to get us to help him in hopes we can guess right about what's bothering him. i feel helpless and i don't wanna say goodbye but i know it's time.

hopefully in the doggy afterlife he gets a nice warm blanket to lay on and all the french fries he could ever want.

[inkykeiji]

I think it's terrifying how sane Nikolai actually is, he plays the clown but he KNOWS exactly what he wants and how to play the character. Anyway! Do you think Nikolai and Fyodor would ever agree on sharing a reader? They have such an interesting dynamic with each other.

omg i agree 100%!! nikolai is genuinely petrifying and so so so interesting, i rly love the way he uses tones of voice and can switch between them with such ease aaah it’s v scary but v impressive; i feel like you never really know what you’re going to get with him and when he’s being serious vs when he’s saying shit just to say it—definitely super difficult to read; i wonder how well fyodor can truly read him,,,,, fyodor is so intelligent and so perceptive but nikolai is so unpredictable so??? i dunno hehe i’m just thinking out loud here c:

ooooh okay so i rambled a ton under the cut but!!

ah!!! a very interesting question!!! i want to say no—not completely, anyway. i always see fyodor as ultimately in charge when it comes to their dynamic, despite nikolai’s own dominance and intellect. i think they’re both insanely selfish, and i definitely think that they could possibly lend out a reader to one another, or play with a reader together, but i don’t see them being able to fully share a reader in a relationship split equally right down the middle. one of them would need to ultimately be in charge/in control. i can see fyodor allowing nikolai to fuck around with his reader (as long as he has asked for explicit permission first, of course) and i can see nikolai offering his reader to fyodor or instantly agreeing to fyodor getting to fuck around with his reader if fyodor asked for it, but i can’t see them entering into a relationship with a reader where they are both equally The Boss (for lack of a better term lmao).

i actually think nikolai, if he truly and genuinely fell in love with someone, would become a bit of a yandere. i think having something that now matters very much to him—something that is, essentially, a ball and chain latched around his ankle, something that keeps him from being truly free, something that could be wielded as a weapon to hurt him or control him—would make him extremely protective and possessive over them, extremely neurotic and emotional over anything that remotely has to do with them. now he must guard them with his life, because he won’t be able to handle losing them (in any capacity).

i also think he’d probably resent his darling a little because of all of this—the stress and the restrictions and the utter commitment the relationship is (ie now he HAS to watch over them, now he HAS to make sure they’re safe all the time or he suffers extreme anxiety and can’t focus or function, etc) and how he’s essentially become a slave to it.

he trust fyodor, mostly; he trusts fyodor as much as he is capable of trusting anyone, anyway. he knows fyodor will take care of nikki’s precious lil baby and that there’s no hope of said precious baby getting hurt or taken away from him when they’re in fyodor’s care. they’re safe (and ‘safe’ means many things to nikolai, including trapped) when they’re with fyodor—they’re as safe as they possibly could be when not under nikolai’s direct supervision. as such, he’s alright with lending them out to his boss when asked, and sometimes even gets giddy at the prospect of watching or being involved. (i alsoooo kiiiinda have a headcanon that nikolai likes being praised by fyodor and pleasing him so he’s never going to deny his bestest friend whatever he’s requesting).

sorry omg i feel like this answer totally went off the rails LMAO but yeah!!!! those are my thoughts!!! i just think fyodor’s too jealous to fully share as well—the idea of giving someone else an equal amount of power over his baby isn’t something he’s particularly fond of. i rly do think fyodor loves being in power,,, it’s that god complex idk~

[doctormage]

sorry i need to complain rly quick

ok so i went to the derby thing monday and in a nutshell it was awful solely bc i literally could not stay upright on my skates. im a severe asthmatic so i have to take albuterol before exercise and sometimes it makes me shaky, but this time my legs were like, completely and genuinely useless

everyone there was SO nice and only cared that i didnt hurt myself but im still really fucking embarrassed bc like. i make a point to exercise my legs every single day. at bare minimum i do squats and calf raises EVERY SINGLE DAY and have been for MONTHS bc of physical therapy. those two exercises particularly help keep my ankle and foot mobile so i make sure to do them, at least 30 of each, DAILY!!!!!!!!! my quads are fucking great!!!!!

so im like. alright. very cool and normal that the medication thats supposed to help me breathe is preventing me from even skating 3 feet in any direction, also very cool and awesome that people are gonna think its bc i have zero lower body strength (when in fact that is the ONLY place i have any strength!) bc my legs are like jello rn

(on top of this i was just so anxious and awkward and all this immediately brought up countless childhood memories of my gym teachers openly bullying me in front of my entire class bc i - severe asthmatic who was even worse as a child - wasn't going "fast enough" or "trying hard enough" or whatever. and also generally like the shittiness of not being able to play w your friends or whatever as a kid bc your lungs dont fucking work. so the frustration over this one thing just opened a can of worms that had been marinating for the last 26 years of my life)

(additionally i have placed a LOT on this mentally bc it's my attempt at like cultivating a hobby that involves other people and forcing myself to make friends that live in the same city as me. i've wanted to do this for over a YEAR, i was so excited after i got cleared by my physical therapist, and i also had a cold last week and was frantically doing everything i could to be better again before monday so it was just!!! a lot!!!) (i was better btw and not contagious. still wore a mask to the rink in case i coughed rly gross or smth tho)

i also thought maybe its bc my knees hyperextend REALLY really bad just like in my normal posture so my center of gravity is always all fucked. so on top of my shaky ass legs im trying to combat the entire way my body holds itself and has ALWAYS held itself, while attempting to maintain balance on wheels, and not default to What I Literally Always Do Subconsciously Because That's How My Legs Work. anyway

yesterday it was rainy so i couldnt skate but today i put my skates on and im like. completely fucking fine. not trembling at all, totally capable of remaining upright, maintaining proper form, skating around, everything, even with my fucked up backwards knees. what the hell and fuck

on monday i'd borrowed skates from the rink bc i didnt want to be the only one in new-looking non-derby skates (which i wouldnt have been anyway) so i guess it could be because their skates didnt really fit me right or they're flat and my skates have a heel but like????? why???????? why am i fine now ???????????????????

we have practice again tomorrow and i will ABSOLUTELY be wearing my own skates idgaf how stupid they look i am not putting myself in that position again. i NEED people to know i have functional legs ;_;

[rexscanonwife]

I am not exactly a newcomer, but I still enjoy giving people opportunities to talk about their OCs. So, please take this as a space to talk about Kepler as much as you would like to, if that's alright!! I may not be 1000% familiar with the intricacies of Star Wars, but I'd still be happy to hear ^-^

Hiii omg thank you so much for asking! 😭💖🫶💖 I really appreciate it! And tbh even a basic understanding of star wars is enough to get u thru most of it, what I love about the universe in general is that yes there are lots of rules but at the same time there's no rules at all?? You can do whatever you want as a fan and there's not rly anything ppl can do to stop you 😂

but for people who ARE seeing this for the first time, my star wars s/i is a Jedi Knight and my bff and I worked together to basically make an oc to be her Padawan! his name is Kepler Quinn and he's my perfect beautiful boy that I love 🥺

a lot of his character development comes from both coming into his own as a person through his training and through his relationships to others. He's been through a lot of rejection in his life already, so he kind of put up walls and has to learn to let people through them! Especially my s/i, who decides to dedicate herself to training him and making him see himself the way she sees him: as amazing! He's got a lot of really impressive skills, he's very in tune with the force when it comes to listening to it for insight, he's just not naturally a good fighter. That doesn't get you very far during a war 😅 but she thinks he's perfect! and she, and the other friends he makes are all part of his story.

(ps. here's some drawings of him made by my bff @star-whores69)

[fyodior]

Alright bisch , im doing this

*slams my resume on your desk

K so Hi! I'm Noodles as you know by now and I go by she/they . Currently unemployed and finishing school and 18 years old.

Appearance wise I'm pretty lanky and tall(5'11) with short grey hair and blue eyes. I wear shit ton of hoodies and casual clothes that are more practical than for looks. (Side effect is I have always smth in my pockets like pens or money or gum, it's like Blackhole)

This feels weird talking about personality but hey whatever dhdh. I'm clearly an introvert but surprisingly I can thrive in social events too. I can easily talk to strangers and I would say even charm them if I put my mind to it , it just simply has a limit and after a while I fizzle out and feel like not talking. I like to give people things and help in any way, it brings me more joy than anything which translates into not handling affection well. I'm pretty chill and laid back compared to some people , I don't involve myself into dramas or issues since I prefer to watch afar. Even though I secretly might wanna punch some people who can't take the hint.(Violence is the answer sometimes kids) It's surprising how chill and unbothered I am but when shit goes down and I'm fed up I take the reigns and tell people what to do cause they're indecisive morons. It's not often but it fills me with pride when I can take the lead like this and people believe in me to be leader.

(I did the test but it's confusing a bit? If u know the other personality test I'm an INFP but thats a bit old now)

Some of my hobbies include drawing a shit ton of small doodles but never having the patience to stick with one piece too long. Piloting I would also consider a hobby , and reading and playing video games too in spare time. But lately taking walks has taken a big part in my life I have come to enjoy them too. I do bite my nails a lot unfortunately, old habit eeee

Likes and dislikes sheesh okay uh. I like people who don't lie about their feelings. Hate lies with passion. Those small white lies don't bother me but stuff like hiding your feelings and lying to another person's face whenever u like em or not makes my blood boil. I hate blueberries, lavender and coconut , Oblivious people and of course The current capitalistic system .

I like rats , snakes , birds ,cats and dogs of course . Creating anything brings me joy, whenever it be art , writing or even just ideas. My hands need to keep doing smth and creating is one way to do it. I also like winter and cold somehow , better than heat for sure

(U can go nsfw too but Its not a requirement btw heh)

(And for characters not to match with I don't think I'm comfy with mori much or nikolai sorryy)

Thank you for doing this event hon, and thank you for letting me participate , lov uuuuuuu

⚞ noodles x chuuya ⚟

⋆ ok first of all i know you dont like pink but i think its cute so suck it up

⋆ second of all. i rly wanted to be more creative and give you someone not super obvious but chuuya just works so well like that is ur man

⋆ third of all you will always be shipped with me above anyone else ok u know this

⋆ he is so fucking. gender. and sexy we discuss this often

⋆ above all else you are a fucking people pleaser even to ur own detriment dkfjdkjdf and i truly think chuuya is among the few people who wouldn't abuse this. he'd entertain you because he knows its fulfilling for you, but make sure you arent running yourself dry

⋆ he would indulge in your praise kink at every turn. not even just sexually although he def would be telling you (depending on position/situation) how sexy you look or how good you're being or how good ur fucking him

↣ in everyday life too! how much he appreciates you and how thankful he is for u. behind closed doors this man is so fucking soft no matter how steely he acts in front of others.

⋆ chuuya will so let you peg him in fact he will request this

⋆ chuuya is also not a liar (irl, probably lies his ass off to PM ppl) and really wants someone who he can trust to always be honest with him, because he def has trust issues.

⋆ he will not hide his feelings either. again he probably has a good ass poker face just bc . pm exec and all that but he will always be so straightforward because that's just how he is. you'd never have to worry about him stewing silently or secretly being pissed off

⋆ it irks him so bad how much taller you are but he tries to not let it get to him too bad dkfkdjkjfkj

⋆ "violence is sometimes the answer kids" i am 100% positive he has said that before at some point in his life

↣ he'd be a horrible enabler tho like you'd be ranting how much you want to kill a peer/coworker and he'd be like fucking do it. whats stopping you and ur like PRISON IS ??????

⋆ he's the same when it comes to avoiding unnecessary drama. he thinks it's dumb as fuck and has absolutely no interest in getting involved. but he does like shit talking with you at home fjkdfkjdfj or going on rants abt how much he fucking hates dazai and ur sitting on the couch as he paces around the room like. uh huh yes honey for sure

⋆ you'd def always be drawing or doodling sketches of him and the paper ones he'd keep all of them and store them bc he finds it so endearing

⋆ chuuya is the same exact way when it comes to an introvert that's able to be charming as fuck. like you'd be able to attend dinners or parties or whatever and charm everyone there but you leave after like an hour fkdfkdkjfdjk and then sit in silence on the couch watching tv to recharge

⋆ i dont think he'd be great about letting you be the leader/taking the reigns in situatiions honestly but you'd also completely trust him to not be a fucking idiot and trust his decisions so does it rly matter

⋆ why do you hate lavender. i love lavender. chuuya probably loves lavender

⋆ your ability to stay unbothered would be really good for him and his incredibly short (like him) temper. you'd be like the only person who could calm him down and get him to chill the fuck out literally please do this my guy is so high strung sometimes

⋆ he'd absolutely fucking obliterate your ass in any video games

⋆ power couple. can i be the third pls

⋆ IM SORRY I JUST CANT DO NSFW ABT YOU WITH ANYONE ELSE EVEN IF ITS FICTIONAL FJDJFJDF

⋆ love u

[yandere-sins]

yandere-sins!!!!!!! the god!reader yandere village story got me completely fucked up. in the middle when shit HEATED UP i started out loud begging for a good ending to come.

i knew where it was probably heading and i was already going "NO NO NO" but then it all fucking spiraled and spiraled - until the ending literally had me screaming for a full minute afterwards.

my fuck you really went for it. and like, as excellent as the writing was, i am now left reeling like Aaaaaaaaaa!!!

so...... i am just begging for there to be an ending where the mc's pains will stop (including not letting the torture continue for their baby or smn else like that.)

I'm wondering like for somethings to be able to roll out, like their powerful dad and maybe fkn allies or ppl in the same situation, to come rescue their ass and maybe get revenge on those absolute creeps (i HATE the head priest for example)

but i see you seem to be already writing part three and i am shaking and quaking. in my non existent boots.

also i hope you're alright buddy cause damn you got some sick fkn imagination (sick as in oof that gadda hurt and also sick nasty rad cool)

anyway i didn't rly know if i should suggest any plot ideas cause maybe it'd be uninterestin narratively to see the wished ending at the top lol. also maybe it's good storywise to hurt but idk im so invested in the being of this being.

but anyway, you're fucking rad and got a beautiful mind (gn) dude. take care

Honestly, some might read the story and think "wtf is wrong with her" BUT for me, It's tough to be a god was paving the way of a less, hm, tame Sins and much more unhinged. Like I was so nervous posting something so digusting and gory because I kept thinking my followers will really hate me if they see it. (Ha! How the turns have tabled, right? Now providing beautiful disgusting things on the daily.)

In reality, however, I reached my prefered clientele with it and now feel much freer writing whatever the fuck I want. I also got the confirmation that horror was the right way for me to go with yandere, ultimately finding my passion in the genre again. In a way it has started my villain arc for killing characters with similar names to Alex and also for this blog because I realized I needed to be more unhinged.

As mindboggling as it is, that story really brought out my better self, in terms of writing. Like you know... do stuff you want, power through, enjoy your own stories... that kind of stuff. Reflecting on it now, it might not be my magnum opus but it placed the first bricks for my temple of creativity.

Did it have to be the most disgusting, gory story that brought forth that change? No.

But we don't get to choose what makes us grow in life.

Musings aside, I am really glad you had the exact emotions I intended for my readers :D

I will give you the absolute tease that you will hate me for and say that one thing you mentioned actually comes true. And also, always keeping in mind it's a yandere story, there will be a happy ending, yes! At least, one that I'd describe as happy, hehe.

But yeah, the plot is very much decided already, so sorry I can't really take suggestions. I also know some people wished for like a bookish ending where reader gets their revenge but well... this is a yandere blog. And if anyone knows anything about me, darlings don't get happy endings here.

But thank you for reading, stay tuned for the last part, take care too and don't hate me too much (;