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#actually it is cause my friend gives me this idea
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Sept 23, 2024: update
For those of you who wanted to be tagged for the Bakugo crush thing, I'm sorry. I found out that my actual crush (why do I still like him?) has a crush on his girl best friend. She's really pretty, and I have nothing on her. So I guess it ends here. I'm sorry. I just feel really sad right now. Maybe I was being delusional, I don't know. My friends probably hate me now, too, cause I'm not speaking to anyone. I just need space. I need to focus on my academics. Again, to all of you who were looking forward to another chapter, I'm sorry and consider this the most annoying tag you'll receive, it won't happen again.
Guys, I got cuteness aggression this morning. Am I being delusional? Maybe, maybe not.
Pt 1, Pt 2
♥︎~
You sighed, stopping halfway on the set of stairs. "Whose bright idea was it to put our class on the top floor of this gigantic building? And why—seriously, why—don’t we have elevators?"
Mina snorted as she looked back at you. "Tired already?" she teased, nudging Jirou who laughed quietly at your pouty face.
"No shit, sherlock. These stairs are torture."
"You're a hero in training, honeybunch. Move those legs." Mina jogged the rest of the way up, reaching the top effortlessly with Jirou by her side. Both turned to look down at you, matching smiles on their faces.
You straightened up, arms crossed. “Nope, I’m done. You two can carry me the rest of the way.”
Mina chuckled; she had waited so long for this moment. “Why don’t you call your boyfriend to do it then? I distinctly remember you saying you’d love his hands all over you, especially when—”
“Shut up, Mina!” you screeched, bolting up the remaining steps and slapping a hand over her mouth before she could finish. Your face was on fire. How could she do this to you?
Jirou doubled over in laughter, slapping her knee for emphasis. Your face was painted with disbelief, which only fueled her laughter.
It was hard to keep a straight face when she was wriggling her eyebrows suggestively at you.
As you all walked to the doors of 1A, you took a deep nervous breath. Would Bakugo speak to you today?
"You look constipated." Jirou whispered, placing a hand on your shoulder as she stepped infront of you. "Calm down, girl."
As you entered the class, Bakugo's eyes immediately shot to you. Did you do something to your hair? He tries to remember what hairstyle you took the previous day and shakes his head, trying to tune back into the conversation he was having with Kaminari and Kirishima.
“...and bam! I took him out. Man, I hate campers,” the electric blonde said, throwing his hands in the air for emphasis.
Kirishima laughed, nodding. “I hear you, dude. Totally unmanly behaviour.”
Bakugo grunted in agreement but glanced back at you, almost as if he couldn’t help himself. His brows furrowed slightly, as if he was still trying to figure out what was different.
You felt a surge of confidence. Maybe today would be different. Maybe, just maybe, you’d actually get to talk to him without turning into a stuttering mess.
Mina gave you a gentle shove forward. “Go on, before you chicken out.”
You locked eyes with him and your heart tightened in your chest. Woah, his eyes were so pretty.
"Heyy y/n." Kaminari drawled, propping his face onto his palm as he winked at you. You rolled your eyes at his antics. "Morning Kaminari." you muttered.
"No good morning for the other two gentlemen here?" Kirishima playfully huffed.
You chuckled, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly. “Good morning, Kirishima,” you said with a warm smile.
Oh boy, did you have to say that to him too?
“...hey Bakugo... morning.” You kept your voice steady, but your pulse quickened when his eyes stared up into yours.
"Mornin'." he grumbled, turning away to look at Kirishima, giving him a glare as if to say 'why the hell are you forcing it?'.
The redhead pretended to be oblivious to the holes that Bakugo was grilling into the side of his head as he chuckled at you. "See? That wasn't too hard, was it?"
You giggled, "Whatever, Kiri. See you guys later."
You exhaled shakily as you made your way back to the two girls who were waiting for you by the door with curious gazes. They motioned for you to go outside and with a shaky exhale, you did.
...
"Ohmygoshdidyouseethewayhewaslookingatyou?!" Mina squealed, shaking your shoulders excitedly.
"Let her breathe, Mina." Jirou whispered, though you could tell she was happy for the small interaction. "His eyes were so soft when he was speaking to you. He looked like a vulnerable little puppy." she mused, turning to you.
Mina nodded frantically. "And his eyes were on you like the whole time! Even when you were walking back to us! Rahh, just date already!" she jumped around.
Your face was so red. You spoke to him... he spoke to you... he was looking at you?
"Was he really looking at me?" you asked hopefully.
"Mhm."
Damn it, Katsuki Bakugo... the things you do to me.
♥︎~
Taglist! Thank you for all the support <3
@mimidonottouch @mikestuffffs @vant3hell @succulent-momma @minkyungseokie @sugurusmoon @idkwhattocallmyselfs @cutebutpsychooxx @jprincesssf @unofficialsapphire @zanyqueencoffee @maddie-rose-1 @madisonnnnnstvr @aefillor @love-me-satoru @meeeepsworld @oddball08 @reads-stuff-quietly @starmycar @djlance-rock @bkgsdoll @nqobil3 @your-mum3000 @dynakats @emmaiskoolio @ggrumbir @ginevraxrogers @emmab3mma
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darkthanatos2 · 13 hours
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Authors Note: possible spoilers? Idk
This is pure speculation and imagined. I don't know whats actually going to happen. Got ideas from Trailers and theories discussed with friends. Names and circumstances might be spoilers idk I talked to a lot of people for material.
Vi standing near the door way and watches cait interact with Maddie. How Maddie looks at her was the same way she looked at cait. Wow, caitlyn got over me pretty fast huh? She though.
“Oh Vi, I didn’t see you there, do you have an appointment?” maddie said, holding some important papers while cait was at her table looking down at a map to strategize a plan.
The fuck I need an appointment for, you stuck up bitch. “ No I don’t. I need to talk to cait. It important.”
Cait lift her head to look at vi, shock, concern, and relief? “Maddie, give us the room” Cait said.
“But Caitlyn we need to go over-“ maddie started to say but cait stred at her with a look of daggers. “Yes ma’am.” And she left.
Vi stepped out of her way as maddie was leaving .
“You sure move on quick” Vi said walking towards her. Trying to look unhurt from it but Cait knows she is.
“Vi… her and I aren’t –“
“Don’t you say it, cause frankly I don’t care” Lie
“Vi… I’m glad you are okay… I heard about the explosion and-“
“Oh so now you care?! Fuck Cait! You kiss me and later in the day screw me over, set me aside like I was trash. Made me feel like nothing!” Vi placed her hands on the table “Did you even care in the first place or were you using me to gain power”
That was the last straw. Cait got up and moved towards Vi, eyes not leaving hers. “One, I never used you for gain. Two, Maddie was a means to get my mind off you cause you are all I see. And Finally, don’t you ever fucking assume I never cared!” she shoves Vi hard “I WAS HURTING VI! And because I didn’t know how to grief I pushed away the most important thing I had in my life, YOU.”
Vi did not expect that. In her shock caitlyn continued .
“After I left, I went back you and weren’t there. In my anger I did things I wasn’t proud of… maddie just brushed the edge off… Everytime I was with her, I saw you…. I can’t even kiss her without seeing you. I had to put an end to it… it wasn’t right… what I did was unforgivable and –“ before she could finish, Vi crushed her lips to hers, biting on her lip hard enough to draw blood. Cait let out a moan and wrapped her arms around Vi’s neck.
All the pent up tension, frustration vi couldn’t relieve in the pits… this is what she ever wanted. She was angry. So fucking angry… but she couldn’t.. they parted their lips for air. Gasping Ciatlyn was shocked “ Wha- why?” tears sting her eyes “ You should hate me for what I had done to you…”
Vi looked into her eyes, but caitlyn tried to look away. Vi cupped her face, angling it to look nowhere else but her “ No… look at me. Look at me and only me” Vi lifted cait, her legs around Vi. Vi gently placed her on the table, unbuttoning her blouse. Cait moans into the kiss…heat" building at the core. Vi ripping her blouse open, bare.. vulnerable.
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mooniedangbiiachay · 5 months
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💙👾Casually gives you a virus👾💙
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moeblob · 4 months
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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xxsweetoothxx · 6 months
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Workin on Redesigning Jackies Colorful version and Im stuck as hell on clorors to pic for their Hair. Tried a billion different ones but These 5 seemed to work best I think
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Also also Redesigning Isaac as well as his Sister. The old story I had for them was okay but then I got a better idea that makes Isaac the irredeemable shit I wanted him to be originally!
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Also this idea allows me to tie in the whole thing from the cannon creeps comic of everyone seeming to hate LJ. Only in PM I plan on it to be a bit different with Ragz. Mainly that they didn't really do anything but SOMEONE did.
A Hint on why Ragz may be heavily disliked.
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#and i feel like im going insane trying ti map out the full extent of the transmisogyny of it all#when i tried to help him with the frustrations he was having with his friend and defended the friend even slightly#he accused me of talking like the friend was my actual boyfriend and told me to go run away with him#when he broke a fuck ton of glass in our bathroom his clean up was even more half assed than usual cause of the state he was in#so even as he apologized to me and called his behaviour abuse and used all the right words#it was still me cleaning up after his abuse literally with a broom and mop#i still freak out at rhe very idea of broken glass and i know that trigger isnt going away anytime soon#and i still didnt leave after that#then him and his friend took so many of my words out of context to essentially accuse me of emotional cheating with people on here#and i cant think about that conversation without thinking about how yall on here have talked about abusers using cheating accusations#and when we finally broke uo he couldnt help but keep giving me permission for things#permission to throw something of his in a lake#permission to let my friends talk shit and be mean#but then when i had something mean to say afterwards and he saw it by checking my blog#he punished me for it by doing everything he could tk scare thr shit out of me#cause even as we were broken uo he hadnt given me permission to talk shit#only to listen to my friends#and even after all that him and his friend still expected that i would share my car and weed for them to use#and i still did with the car cause im either wonderful for dumb as hell#probably both#then after all that his friend cut me off as a friend using the fact that i had asked him why he was refusing to even look at me and if we#were cool to say i was demanding and pushing him and not respecting his boundaries#he used me asking why i was being treated as a pariah to justify treating me as a pariah#after all i had refused to still be a punching bag#i stopped buying him weed#so it was time for me to be disposed of#and even as they disposed of me they still expected me to live in that house for another fucking month with them#i was used and disposed of by two of the people i was closest with#one of whom i would have married eventually if he hadnt pushed it over the edge
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puppyeared · 11 months
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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pynkhues · 9 days
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It is interesting with Antoinette. I could see it being that Lestat genuinely had affection for her, even if he would certainly have killed her had Louis personally asked him to -- or it could be that she was just familiar, and he wanted the closest thing to intimacy he could get, so someone who knew him was better than someone who didn't. And the whole possibility that she reminded him of Gabrielle in some ways...
(x)
Yeah, I totally agree, anon.
I actually unfortunately suspect that Antoinette isn't a character the show will really come back to, and I think I'm one of three people that cares about that, haha, but where I tend to land on her relationship with Lestat is the fact that neither Lestat nor Louis actually have any friends.
That's not to say that I think Lestat and Antoinette were just friends, I don't, they obviously fucked a lot (which like, also comes down to the fact that Lestat doesn't know how to have friends he doesn't fuck, haha), but I do think the reality is that Lestat and Louis have very different racial and cultural contexts, hobbies and areas of interest which aren't things they can easily share with each other, especially not in early-1900s America, and I think that's a bigger factor in their relationship breakdown than either will admit to.
It's why Louis' able to reconnect with Jonah so quickly - they might be leading different lives, but they have more overlapping factors than they don't, whereas he and Lestat have less than they do - and for Lestat as a white theatre kid, he needs to be around other performers. I think with Antoinette, she's obviously a talented vocalist and an ambitious artist, and I can see that genuinely just being company that Lestat wants to be close with. They probably talk shit about crap theatre they've seen and do vocal runs together and fuck, and honestly for a part of Lestat, that would lowkey be a dream relationship, haha. Do I think they have a deep emotional connection? No, but given even Louis' willing to admit she's talented, and his own complex relationship with not succeeding as an artist, I wonder how much that factors in to his portrayal of her and his insecurities around their relationship (to say nothing of the fact that she's both white and a woman).
This feels like it's going on a hundred tangents, haha, but my point is maybe they'd step out on each other less or descend into unforessen levels of chaos and destruction if they both had a few friends they could talk about their identities and niche interests with!!
#this is not actually related to your ask but i've been thinking a bit about different family make ups lately#and while i was hungover this morning after yoga and getting breakfast with my mum#i told her about how one of our production coordinators at work - let's call her A - had a baby last year with her wife#and they had a very good friend who's gay who became their sperm donor#and he's like#LOVING being fun uncle and A and i were talking about it the other day at work because she was genuinely shocked because he's#been very open about how much he does not want kids of his own and it caused a lot of hesitancy with her and her wife taking him up on offe#but how much he's stepped up#she said he's been amazing#and he's been so helpful and supportive and done so much running around for them when they've been knocked sideways with having a newborn#and he loves being with his little niece who's actually his biological daughter and getting to give her back#and A was like we were close before but now he's my daughter's uncle and now he truly feels like my brother#and A and her partner and him are already talking about having another baby in the next year or so#idk why your ask made me remember this#maybe i was just thinking about it still after talking to mum about it over breakfast#but idk maybe it comes back to this whole idea that queer family units are inherently unconventional in our current structure#and applying conventional tropes to them doesn't work#which again has nothing to do with your ask haha just something i'm thinking about#lestat asks#iwtv asks
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deepseawave · 2 months
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
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#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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s4llycinnamon13 · 8 months
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Not 3 guys speaking to me at the pub even tho I was reading a book surely that is a sign to not speak to a girl?
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lconoclasts · 4 months
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youtube
Can't add the exact timestamp (it's at the end) but they just??? Jump off screen???? Do they not die???
My general consensus with this fight is that it's just extra content and... in-between canonicity. They don't show up in the credits (in a scene) regardless if you kill them or not, and the pupils are alive(?) or possibly some other ones are alive as they could just look similar/be reused sprites
long speculation under the cut
Fitzroy is lore for sure which contradicts some of the implications about trancending that we get but like. Royal is kind of a dumbass AND is being told all of this from mother/one concern. There's multiple implications of the "ancestors" (both isi and Him followers) coming from somewhere else/resetting the planet and leaving instructions/tech for their respective people to use. Fitzroy seems to fit in the between stage before the concern has studied the tech, but AFTER the Ancestors arrived/reset the planet. In The Tower and the Bastion there are images of famous earth landmarks (taj mahal, new York, pyramids I think) implying that some sort of Earth was destroyed/minerals drained (more connections to the themes about environmentalism) and that humanity was "reset". RIGHT BUT CANONICITY. Fitzroy is more lore... If u want him to be. The true past of humanity is still foggy ESPECIALLY with conflicting views from Him followers and the Isi. The concern claims to have longer records of history, and has aforementioned images, but they shape it to their beliefs and leave out certain parts intentionally as well as only educate people deemed more faithful (concern staff) and censor/mysticize parts for the common folk and ESPECIALLY city one residents. Cough cough 'merica haha but not really I doubt he was thinking about Americans specifically. This is more likely a commentary on religion specifically they larger ones and how they shape societies views and history! (Remember when we used B.C?) I'm not going to say this is an effective commentary or a scathing remark on Christianity (I believe that Christianity is used as a reference as it's the poster child to westerners for what "religion" is. He probably intended for this to be about religion as a whole but like. Come on. It's definitely Christianity with a few changes to make it a "generic religion" especially with the focus on punishment and ascension to a "good place". They also use sin/sinners a few times but that may be for familiarity especially since he had a whole npc for explaining terminology) that aside. Canonicity. Again. The history behind the Starworm followers vs the Isi is intentionally left a mystery! Fitzroy and Leticia are real as fuck (if u think they're canon) and provide some ideas for what actually happened in history but who knows! I should get back to my conversation I got distracted haha.
#text that should be about royal#iconoclasts#lore speculation#mothers corners#Youtube#long post#analysis#(?)#also feel free to reply my ideas are very foundational especially on the religion part :-P but I have a lot of thoughts on xtianity#Being seen as “what religion is”. Especially when not every culture uses the “good place bad place” idea#Or the nobility of suffering Or Or the focus on punishment and atonement#I do think elro is telling the truth with what they teach the lower class so I may use him as a point of reference in the future#He's also a really funny and interesting character. I also completely understand why people don't like him#I'm sorry for not having other examples but he is literally Walter fucking white#Oh my God for Halloween I should draw him in that costume. I have an old sketch of him as reanimator actually#I'm too shy to show it tho hehe... Also the only connection is “science” and “crazy syringe!”#Also by calling him funny I mean his actions are. I like how he gives up on his religion immediately...#Definitely only because it affected him personally (penance) but he probably wasn't that devout#If a follower anyways. Especially with Robin helping out. “Lol it won't get me!” >Wife and daughter die#A lot of his actions are absolutely caused by grief and I really like how he's written. I like the themes of grief!#He's absolutely an asshole tho ESPECIALLY to mina actually honestly to any woman in his life#Teegan get with a real man. Fuck that guy. Also counting grey as a woman in this instance. Woman in a lesbian way not as a gender#Teegan is the only person who survived elro besides robin#themes#Teegan has her shit TOGETHER. I saw her and Gustavo talking in the credits I hope they become good friends :-)#robin survived elro and like he won't try to protect/control her anymore but... God...#elro#(mentioned) (also I might talk about him in the future I really like how iconoclasts deals w grief)
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candyriku · 5 months
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finally getting a chance to work on chapter 15 today :-)
#shout out AS ALWAYS to people leaving comments!!!! you are keeping me motivated you are keeping the dream alive#for some behind the scenes: in the last few weeks i've been barely sleeping and it makes it very hard to write or even be in a good mood#i usually need 11+ hours to function and so like. 2-3 hours a night is putting me in a bad place both mentally and physically#and yes i realize 11 or more hours is like a silly amount of sleep but idk. it's just how i am. i go to bed early AND sleep in ahaha.#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol#ANYWAYS#typing typing typing (this chapter will be a lighthearted one)#we all need some fluff and levity i think (and i need to give time for Riku to care for Sora even more and be like. wow. i love you)#I was struggling earlier bc i wanted to write both about how Sora has been hiding darkness from loved ones and needs to let them in#but also with the idea of sora feeling that he needs friends to have strength or value. and i kind of realized i needed to pick one#like maybe a better writer than me could have both of those things be addressed at once but for me i was like... I want Riku to comfort him#which goes against him learning that he's fine on his own. we can address that in a different fic. rn he is just sad and needs to know#that he can share that with the people around him. and that he's still loveable despite it all#also shout out to my gf for teaching me “love isn't something you deserve that's not what love is” like. i did not know that b4 her#so I asked her lots of questions for chapter 14 actually cause I was like. i want Riku to support Sora in the way you'd support me#cuz IDK SHIT ABOUT THAT i have always felt unworthy of love and like i had to beg people to stay with me until i got into this relationship#so i was like. judy. what is your wisdom. how do you care for me when i feel like my pain makes me unloveable. what would you say#So yeah shout out to her! I am off on a tangent now hehe sorry. thanks for reading if you read this at all!! have a good day :)#jtsys fic#updates
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My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.
I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃
#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag#trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened#and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents#but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO#they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her#but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers#and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming#(a conversation SHE started btw)#and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back#and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary???#that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you#like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive)#but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but.#if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that#i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions?#and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️'#(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent)#hate it. thanks#apostake#jay rambles#ok to interact#im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged#gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully#they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face#haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc#it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace#my sister's 17 ffs#it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void#religion#mormonism
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magentagalaxies · 5 months
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#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted#i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter#the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back#and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context#or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with#''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!''#which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it#BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM????#and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with#i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together#but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person#it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist#but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary#of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be#and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it#but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well#or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations#and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think#or even what other people understand#but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun#and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time#he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i#and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma#is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!''#that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels#i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott#idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back#but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it
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moonsidesong · 2 years
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played the fangame danganronpa another with a friend and i didn't really like the ending but i very much enjoyed mekaru bc she's just woman byakuya togami. i'm going to talk a lot in the tags now
#the translation was kinda weird and bad but you get used to it after a while#i do plan on playing the sequel just cause me and my friends enjoy playing murder mysteries#oh uh spoilers beyond this point i'm gonna give some hot takes for. the 3 followers that care about dangit grandpa#anyway uh. ending. yeah i'm definitely biased bc i don't really like sad endings for the most part#but i didn't really. like it.#i'm not really opposed to the idea necessarily of the protagonist NOT being a survivor it's definitely interesting#but given that this game's take on hope vs despair is that 'hope is created not found'#i thought it kinda sucked that they just left maeda/utsuro to die despite obviously being the one suffering the most#also i didnt. like. kisaragi much. him/his alter ego being the epic savior in the end sucked bad not gonna lie#i thought he was really interesting in his initial appearance bc he was someone who Knew what was happening#but was rendered unable to communicate any of it bc of his brain damage#but then he dies (which was expected wasn't really upset about it) and from there you only have flashbacks to go off of#and then he's just kinda boring#it'd be one thing if he was a heroic reliable person we knew from the start but he's just this. guy that shows up in chapter 5#and we get told he's like the best we should trust him and believe in him but. like. idk this guy! it didn't feel earned#anyway kinjou was. a character. for sure.#i liked his arc and all but when they revealed in the ending that Oh actually his beliefs on crime haven't changed at all lol<3#he still only thinks in extremes even after all that mess about recognizing the murders were done in gray area circumstances#so like what was that all FOR#also. like. Goddddd. GODDDD. AKANE TAIRA. UGH#when she gets revealed as the mastermind and she's like going crazy off the walls sillygoofy despair lady I thought she was really fun!!!#i enjoyed her quite a lot!!!!#but then utsuro gets involved and she's just immediately extremely pathetic#she just immediately loses all presence bc she just stops taking any authority as the mastermind and is like ouwuoiuuh utsuro samaaaa#i thought her being a maid but actually is a girlboss would be a FUN SUBVERSION but nah we just have peko pekoyama 2: evil this time#like when are we gonna be done with the trope of Woman is cool and powerful until Man shes subservient to is involved and then she's a wuss#it sucks it SUUUUCKS#utsuro himself is. fine. he's basically just bootleg izuru but i didn't really mind that i thought his origins were kinda interesting#anyway i'm out of tags so i guess that's the end of my hot takes#i liked the individual cases! i liked mekaru! ending was kinda bad. goofbye
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#no because my parents have always been so weird to me from a medical standpoint#or abusive? neglectful. I don't know what i could possibly call this but#my Nystagmus. barely doing any research WHEN THEY ARE DOCTORS it's not like they don't know how to look stuff up#barely giving me any information on it. which crashed badly a few years ago when the dude at one of those glasses shops got scared by not#being able to give me full vision which promoted my parents into bullying me about possibly going blind and trying to twist it into being#my phone's usage fault. when low and behold! we go to an actual doctor. my vision didn't increase or decrease much and she says that#Nystagmus cannot be 20/20 THEN MY MOM STILL TRIES TO PROVE IT'S THE PHONE'S FAULT#also how they treated my Lyme Disease when i was little but I'm not. talking about that publicly.#and the fact that they were completely obsessed with the idea that I'd have a speech impediment back in the day#which was probably caused by the fact my sibling was Learns Very Early How To Talk And Does It Really Well flavour of autistic and I was#Barely Talks Very Late And Badly flavour of autistic#which meant they would force speech classes down my throat and when the teachers would go 'Nothing actually wrong with this kid' they'd#send me somewhere else#also the constant 'If you don't learn to talk correctly everybody will think you're stupid and they won't talk to you' which ok. ableist.#anyway the 'speech impediment' was your average 4 y o cannot pronounce r which i got over and they were still turning my life into hell#over it years down the line which meant i was in middle school convinced i had a speech impediment which at that point#WOULD HAVE BEEN A HEALTH ISSUE BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT DO WE MOM/DAD#and i realised I don't only because my best friend went 'girl tf no you don't'#that is without to mention my father tried to ask me if i wanted surgery for my (inexistent) speech problem because he heard it fixed#someone else's kid problem#also in middle school i had some blood tests and they supposedly came back saying I'm anemic + i had strep but they didn't do anything#about that and at most blamed my anemia on my period which. i should probably get myself some bloodtests as an adult lol#then there is the one time they forced me to go to school with a mcfucking fever lol lmao#oh and also i would try to talk to them about these weird head tremors/seizures i have and they once again tried to blame it on my phone#only for my mom to see me having one recently and go 'oh yea lol i have them too it's normal' yes thank you /s#and they generally don't listen to me trying to sound the alarm about possible health issues i have unless my brother points them out...#aaaaand there is the entire shitshow they did to me when i was diagnosed with depression and put on pills#at least they are currently nicer about me saying i have autism but they didn't take me seriously at first neither...#egg.txt#vent
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