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#actually now that ive typed that all out i might actually write it
manifestmerlin · 2 years
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I want to write some homestuck fic over break but all my brain can give me are like. Big things. Like I have arranged marriage kingdoms au, I have holy grail war ish sburb reimagining, I have trolls are fae, and those are all things that would be like full chaptered fics. and god i wanna write a full chaptered fic but like. Damn. I am so bad at those.
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pyrriax · 4 months
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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b0mblover · 1 month
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It’ll be Okay in the End
By: J
cw; selfharm, generally negative thoughts, blood (etc everything that comes with sh)
lopt essentially has a silent breakdown and mason comforts him or smth idk im not good at summeries,
[Note; this was wrote out of my own desperation for comfort, not romanizing sh, i do not encourage or believe anyone should do this to themselves, seek help.]
i uh, actually had a easier time writing this than most things, probably because ive been essentially replaying this whole scene in my head for literal years! i for once wasnt upset when i wrote this, i was very tired tho! uh i have alot more to say but hawaii part ii lopt is taking over my brain again, so im gonna go do that! have fun with my depressed 100% projected loptson ig!
lopt was in ‘his’ so called room, scribbling away at some paper,
mason was rather concerned, hearing frustrated noises constantly, what sounded like pencils breaking,
they had been “partners” officially for 3 months now, mason had always cared about lopt to an extent, partner or not, but this was… odd.
sure lopt had his own life, hobbies, but he didnt care to keep /that/ much from mason, especially whenever he asked,
but, this was different.
lopt had came home from wherever the fuck he was- hell if mason knew details- annoyed, he stormed off to some room, when mason tried to ask what was wrong he only blew him off saying that “its none of your fucking business, you wouldnt get it anyways”
lopt was scribbling away in his notepad, despite being a god and literally being immortal, he still couldnt force creativity to come to him,
it was his fifth time trying,
most drawings resulted in poorly scribbled out lines,
he had went out to try and get inspiration for “some project” though he didnt really /have/ anything to work on, starting a new drawing always seemed to be a block for him,
he sat down his broken (6b) pencil, (rather violently but he didnt want to acknowledge that) and got up, he knew somewhere in him, that he needed a break, he walked out of his room to get water, but his mind wouldnt leave him alone,
constant thoughts about how awful his art was spewed around
“youre not “talented”, youre worthless”
“itd be better to quit now”
“just rip up the damn papers, theyre ugly anyways”
“imagine- you could just go and alleviate all this pain, just with that knife-“
he tried to push down his thoughts,
grabbing a cup from the cabinet and filling it with water,
the knives in the butcher block seemed so… tempting,
most of him /knew/ that he shouldnt- that it was wrong, that mason would be disappointed- disgusted, if he found out about his thoughts,
but, he couldnt help it,
all memories of the nights he got up from their bed to take part in something that would disgust his partner made him sick.
questions runned through his head as he sipped on his water, leaning onto the counter
“would he be sad?”
“would he care?”
“would he call me names?”
“tell me how pathetic i am?”
“leave me?”
“would he hate me?”
“tell me how ugly my body is”
“tell me how he hates the scars”
“tell me just how much he despises me”
the voices grew louder wither every question,
saying that he wanted mason to hate him,
that he did hate him,
in the very back of lopts mind, in the tiniest corner, he knew it all wasnt true, that he was being dramatic over nothing,
but even then, the memories of all the times he loved someone- all the times he didnt question if they hated him, what they all said to him,
he felt like doubting himself was the only way to have them not leave,
to not abandon him,
he took a deep breath before sighing, realizing his cup was empty, he decided that he had enough of a “break” and that he needed to start “working” again,
mason was sitting on the couch, some random tv show playing for background noise, when lopt wasnt “there” it was almost too quiet, in a way, mason had grown to love how loud and chaotic the house was with lopt- even if thery were the only two people in it.
he seen lopt walk into the kitchen for around 8~ minutes before he trudged his way into his room once more,
he didnt know excatly as to what lopt was doing,
granted whatever it was had to have been important, he didnt usually spend 3+ hours in a room alone silently, it started to make him worry, was lopt sick? just why did he seem so upset when he came home? is he okay? did he hurt himself?
lopt sat down at his desk once more, staring at the scribbled page, a sphere, he couldnt figure out how to shade it properly on the background,
he sighed turning his attention to the top left drawer,
he stood up walking over to his dresser, pulling out another drawer, he took out a roll of bandages, and some tissues, 
he knew that he shouldnt, that it was essentially pointless, that hed feel better soon enough,
but that fear crept back up,
“what about last time you didnt? remember? it got only worse because you didnt”
he rubbed the sides of his nose bridge, the voices were annoying, they knew that he was gonna, even without the encouragement.
he sat back down at his desk, sitting the tissues to his right and the badages to his left before pulling out the left hand drawer,
he rummaged through it, various miscellaneous items, before coming across a box,
a red box, seemingly quiet old, with yellow letters reading “do it” on the front,
he took one out, ‘unwrapping’ the razor blade,
straight edge,
he stared at it, contemplating just what hes doing with his life,
“i cant draw, i cant write, i cant make people happy, i cant make music, i can only recite the tales others have told, im worthless, im doless, i will never amount to anything or anyone in my life, god or not, human or not, this is deserved, if i cannot create, then i at lease deserve to bleed”
a mantra he told himself, attempting to poorly justify his actions,
mason listened at the door, hearing nothing, no pencil, no walking, almost no breathing, he didnt know everything about lopt, sure, but he knew that he didnt look well off, and what boyfriend would he be to his partner if he wasnt concerned?
they had an unspoken rule to always at least knock before walking into the others space, granted they had seen every part of each other, it was just a courtesy they had, 
though, something felt off,
mason felt as if he shouldnt knock, that lopt was hiding something,
all those sleepless nights where lopt comforted him abundantly, he had felt him get up, a few times he had caught lopt in the basement, he didnt know just what he was doing, he always hid something,
he didnt want to break any boundaries sure, thatd be rude and disrespectful, but, he had a weird feeling in his gut that it was for lopts own saftey,
“please forgive me for this” he muttered to himself,
sharply inhaling before opening the door,
simply greeted by lopts back.
lopt heard the door open, he had three lines going diagonally down his right arm, bleeding, he fumbled the razor, dropping it onto the floor, it had gotten rather dark by now, so it probably wouldnt be seen, he attempted to get the tissues, he had always been a great liar,
“ill just say i accidentally cut myself, if he asks what i was doing with a weapon, ill deflect and say i was being stupid”
it seems like he fumbled the tissues for a bit too long.
“hey”
mason said over his shoulder,
he moved his left hand to cover the cuts,
“o-oh, hey, whats wrong?”
“hm, well, i mean nothing? i guess, what are you doing?”
“i- you guess? is something the matter?”
mason had noticed he was oddly covering his forearm,
“you ignored my question.”
“huh?”
“i asked what youre doing.”
masons tone sounded alot more pissed off, granted he wasnt, just concered more than anything,
“o-oh i um, ok dont laugh but uh- i was trying to draw”
“and why are you covering your arm? are you hurt?”
“i- huh? wh- no, no! i uh, may have also been playing with a blade and accidentally scraped myself, nothing much”
“let me see”
“what?”
“let me see your injury”
lopt was taken aback, all of his previous partners never asked to see his wounds, scars sure but never his wounds, even if they werent self inflicted, he was shocked, he hadnt planned for this.
“i- i assure you dear, it isnt anything to worry about-“
“let me see it. are you hiding something?”
in that moment lopt felt small, like a child almost, weak, helpless, he didnt know how he could get out of this without mason either finding out or being suspicious of him.
“i- here”
lopt moved his left arm to mason, there were a few small cuts on it, though rather old looking,
lopt moved his right arm off the table, into the shadows to not call attention to it.
“uh huh, now the other?”
lopt seen his eternal life flash before his very eyes.
his mind went on autopilot and raised his right arm, he usually would fight but, he knew itd be pointless, mason would just worry more, thus making him keep a closer eye on lopt, he didnt want to feel selfish, not like that,
“oh my, i- oh my god,”
mason was shocked, he had suspected that lopt had hurt himself in the past, granted the scars,
but, he didnt think he still did it, sure the weird behavior, but it never really dawned on him until that moment.
.
mason had brought (more like dragged) lopt to the bathroom, running the slits under cool water, putting pressure to hopefully get the bleeding under control, he opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out another roll of bandages,
he stood behind lopt washing the blood off, still slightly in shock,
“why?”
“huh?”
“why do you do this?”
masom questioned, fully aware of the long list lopt was about to give out,
“i- well, i dunno..”
lopts voice trailed off before starting again,
“i mean, i dont even know why i do this, it just feels good? like i can do something right? it makes me feel like im not worthless”
mason hummed for a second before choosing his words
“do you feel normally that youre worthless?”
“i guess so, i dont know why, i have the best boyfriend, my life is great, i just dont know..”
“mmhm, what were you trying to draw?”
“i dont know. does it matter?”
lopt shot back
“well, you seemed frustrated at it, so im sure it’s important to you yeah? so then it’s important to me”
mason brought his hands around lopts wrist, rubbing it slightly attempting to calm him down
“i- i dont know, i just, i feel frustrated, so i tried to draw, but drawing makes me feel more frustrated, so i did this- an- and n-now-“
lopt began to stutter, tears swelling up in his eyes, mason had only seen him cry on a few occasions,
“shh- shh its okay, i know what youre saying, breath, okay?”
lopt inhaled deeply, feeling masons left hand move to wipe the tears away,
he didnt even know why he was crying,
mason bandaged lopts arm slightly tight, 
“shh, now, you wanna talk about this? or wait a little bit longer to calm down?”
“c-calm down”
“alright alright, shh youre okay, see?”
mason lead lopt into his bedroom, taking lopts hand under the covers as he had done for him every sleepless night,
lopt could feel his eyelids starting to droop, the warmth of his boyfriend comforting him, the love of his boyfriend comforting him,
he shoved his head into masons chest, finding it to be the most comfortable spot out of the entire bed,
mason ruffled his hair, slowly stroking his hand on his neck,
“y’know, you may be a god,
and you may be immortal, but,
ill be with you for as long as you need, in this life and after”
lopt didnt respond, just slightly nodded his head before burrying it deeper into masons chest, 
maybe tonight wasnt so bad after all,
spending time with mason- no, his boyfriend, was never bad.
lopt faded in and out of sleep, trying to fight the melatonin being produced, just to feel the sweet touch of his boyfriends skin, before he completely felt himself drift away, he heard him speak,
“I love you, i love you so much, never forget that, in this life and the next, ill always love you, lopt.”
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maaaxx · 1 year
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Whats the hecles thing? Is it atla or fandom related?
😈
Sorry I took a while to answer this I was trying to figure out what all I wanted to reveal about this.
No, Hecles isn't fandom related. But this book that im working on rn (cots not ihiap) is kind of inspired by it in a way.
This is probably going to be a longish post so the rest is under the cut
Hecles is a personal project im working on. I might turn it into an actual books one day but im not sure. Its a really neat story line and the characters are some of my favorite ocs ive created and yeah.
Okay so Im going to give what details i want to share and then talk about the actual characters. My thought process through this is going to be not at all organized.
Eris
History
Eris is a kingdom in this story thing that has a civil war going on. Its a the people vs the government type of thing. And inspired by both the American and French revolution.
The government and royal family is extremely corrupt, and took resources from the lower classes, but the lower classes have been able to survive for nearly a century with this war going on.
Its less of a war and more of the lower class people were revolting and causing a lot of problems and so the government started killing them.
Im calling it a war for a lack of better word. This part of the story is still extremely underdeveloped and is all over the place.
There is a magic system that again is extremely underdeveloped but the premise of it is the royal family is thought to be descended from one of the Universes secondary Gods.
There is a lot of biblical undertones in this but this part isnt it.
There is one 'primary' god, Rora.
And then there are 'secondary' gods.
One of which is Derisue. Eris is obviously part of the name. And this is the one that supposedly chose the royal family to rule by giving them magical abilities.
The reason Derisue decided to give these people magic was because this specific group of people were near extinct from another war that happened centuries ago. So this group of 50 ish people get these powers (there was a system to determine who got them) and were able to fight back and save their type of people and these people gets put in power.
A few more generations and their descendants start to be power hungry and all turn on eachother.
Theres this mini war battle thing and some die and some run away and the one that is left declares themself Queen.
Like I said, some run away and these ones all have kids too and so theres the royal family who have magic and then theres the ones who run away and they kind of introduce this magic into the general population. So theres a very small percentage of people who have magical abilities in this kingdom.
The royal family sees this as a threat and start hunting down these people. But then the rest of the population sees their nighbors and friends being executed and imprisoned and are like 'hey wtf' and get pissed off with the royal family. This leads to rebellions and the royal family punishes these people by taking resources and increases taxes and shit and thus starts the civil war thing.
Propaganda makes the nobility and royal family think theyre in the right naturally.
Something else to note about the magic system is that the further down the generations go the more diluted this becomes. Its kind of recessive too, so you might have someone who has very strong magic but then their sibling is really weak.
So then with all that context you get to where the story takes place.
Magnis and Titas are the princess and prince of Eris.
Titas is a prophet and has a lot of other more minor magic things that havent been established yet. He's like 10-12 years old during the story.
Magnis is the first person in the family to not have powers. Shes 15-16 ish.
The interesting thing about prophets is that they are extremely rare. Like there is only one other person known to have this power besides Titas and thats the son of the first Queen that i mentioned.
The one of the sons prophecies is of a person who is the child of Rora. (the primary god). Meaning this person has the strongest magic of anyone alive at the time because theyre a first generation and like i said everyone elses abilities is diluted.
Then the prophecy says this person will help end the war.
So naturally the family thinks this means in their favor and go to track her down. It takes decades but eventually they find Ourelia, or Oura.
Inspiration
Like previously mentioned this whole story has a lot of biblical undertones to it. But thats only the case when it comes to Oura.
Everything else, the clothes style, architecture, race, has Greek, Indian, Mesopotamian, and Arabic influences.
This changes based on class, mainly.
So the royal family lives in a 'palace' that closely resembles ancient greek temples. Think mount olympus.
The general clothing style for this class is still inspired by the greek, with hints of arabic influences.
There are 5 main classes.
High nobility and the royal family. Like I said, the royal families architecure is mostly greek but as you start to get down into nobility the arabian influences become more prevelant.
Lower nobility. Most lower nobility still has the arabian influences but it starts to drift more so into indian style.
Middle class. This is like people who live in the cities and stuff and get by well enough. The cities all try to copy the first and second class architecture so thats what it looks like.
Upper lower class. This is the modern equivilant of people who are just getting by. They have a house and food and stuff but no disposable income. Like their equivilant to a family living right on the poverty line. Theyre architecture isnt new, they just kind of live in whatever has always been there. And the structures used to be built how Mesopotamian people used to build so thats generally what their houses and shops look like.
Lower lower class. These are people who have nothing. Some are living on the streets in the cities and begging, some are living in ruins. But theyre generally really skinny and malnourished and have no income or anything like that.
The bottom two classes make up the vast majority of the population.
The lower you are the more looked down on you are by the upper class.
The bottom class is usually referred to as barbarians and such and are known for being unpredictable and dangerous.
The clothing generally follows that of the architecture. Oura is an exception well get to that later.
Hecles
Hecles is the poorest territory in the Kingdom. It's inspired by Appalachia and doesnt have a lot of resources so for the most part its abandoned.
It has a lot of mountains so unless you live there its hard to navigate. This makes it the perfect place to hide if your on the run.
The people there tend to be in groups. Or at most very small villages.
But the small villages are very few and far between. And at most like 50 people.
There is a lot of crime in this area so the villages are always on edge.
Children are treated horribly in this area. Theyre often killed or abandoned with the mindset of 'I cant take care of myself so how in the world am i supposed to take care of you. '
So its not uncommon for a toddler to be wandering around in the woods by themselves or for small children to almost form gangs.
This is one of the reasons this class is considered barbaric. If you see a 5 year old kid begging on the side of the road, dont approach him or else he might pull out a knife, stab you, and rob you.
The upper class likes to try to 'tame' these kids as like a vanity stunt. Like take them in and raise them and everything which is okay if they werent the way they were. They would often be abused or slaves or servants and not allowed out of the estate.
The Group thingy
Theres this one town in Hecles that was ransacked by bandits a couple years back and after that happened the entire population that was left alive moved.
Abandoning their children.
So theres these 5 kids.
Vita, Aticia (Atis), Birk, Nuave, and...
🥁*drum roll*🥁
Oura.
These kids grew up together along side others but after the ransack happened they were the ones left behind and not killed.
they were all between the ages of like 5-9 at the time.
So they stayed together and moved deeper into the forest and mountains and hunted and scavenged to survive.
They learned to fight off robbers and shit like that. And altogether this group is very strong and very good fighters and strategic and smart and stuff.
Atis and Vita are two of the people who still have magical abilities. With Atis its very subtle she is very manipulative. So she can influence peoples decisions and emotions in a way (??) its hard to explain. But shes not very strong strong but it came in handy when someone needed comfort.
Vita is moderately strong. Her powers revolve around life. Like she can control plant growth and even had a bit of healing powers.
And then obviously Oura.
Her powers are associated with the sun. Because Rora is the god of the sun and whatnot. So she can control heat. She doesnt know how to use her powers yet but the entire group knows Oura is very powerful.
She also has a lot of spiritual abilities.
I dont feel like explaining those right now.
something they did was watch for nobleman carriages on a path near where they camped out. the mountains are treachurous but they span through the entire kingdom and were smack dab in the middle so there was no way to get around them when you needed to go to the other side.
And so sometimes there would be a carriage with guards who get cocky and either look for kids to 'foster' or are just trying to get through the mountains. Theyre cocky but theyre also naive.
Birk is the youngest out of the group and is actually really sweet and like the baby of the group but they would make him stay on the side of the road and pretend hes hurt so the carriage will stop. And when they did stop the other kids would rob them.
One time there were a lot more guards than anticipated and they got caught and the guards were attacking because they were barbarious kids and Oura is their first line of defense. She used her powers to fuck with a cigar the dude had before they were getting robbed and one of their carriages goes up in flames.
They put two and two together and realzie she has powers and arrest her.
They ended up having to knock her out and she gets thrown into the back of the carriage that isnt on fire and bolt, leaving behind one of the guards.
That guard doesnt survive.
And they dont get Oura back.
Other stuff
Theres a test they can do to see if someone has powers by cutting them and observing their blood.
Normally when someone with the magic bleeds theres a silver shine to the blood.
But when they cut Oura its golden.
No ones ever seen that before.
They call up the royal family like 'hey i think we found that sun child yall are always riping about'
And so Oura is taken to the temple and is raised alongside Titas who is only a small toddler when oura gets there and Magnis who is like 5 or 6 at the time. Oura is 11 or 12 ish.
A decade later is when the actual story starts.
Thats all im giving you about that.
Characters
Magnis
Oura is the main character so i should probably start with her but Magnis is my favorite so oh well.
Magnis, like I said is the first person in the royal family to not have powers. A lot of people accuse her of being illegitimate but theres no way because her mom is the one who is Queen and connects her to the bloodline and yk moms cant give birth to children thats not biologically theirs. Atleast not in this universe, surrogacy isnt a thing here.
By rule, the oldest child is the heir, despite gender. But since Magnis doesnt have powers theres a lot of disagreements on whether or not she should be able to be Queen one day.
Especially when Titas, an extremely powerful profit, is right there.
Obviously this causes Magnis a lot of issues.
Shes the scapegoat of the family and will do anything to pleas her mother.
Think Zuko's impulsiveness and drive and obliviousness mixed with Azulas intelligence and you get Magnis.
Shes an extreme people pleaser and like I said, very smart. She aces all of her studies but she still isnt magic so this doesnt matter to her mom.
When word gets around of a rebellion group thats causing a lot of trouble in the 3rd and 4th class Magnis is the first to volunteer to wipe them out.
Her mom wants rid of her so she says sure and sends Magnis on her way at like 15.
Magnis is very self deprecating and also has the biggest ego in the world at the same time. Miss girl needs a therapist she aint doing well.
But shes fiercely loyal to Oura first and her mom second but Oura and her mom are on the same side so its the same thing right???
👀
But when her mom didnt praise her or pay attention to her or validate her, Oura did.
Oura is major oldest daughter vibes.
This isnt about Oura yet im getting off track.
Magnisses mom (i really need to figure out her name) knows how loyal her daughter is though, and shell exploit that sometimes. This becomes very important eventually but not in a way you guys are finding out today.
Magnis has a playlist and a pinterest board
Go check them out if you want.
Ouralia
Okay so from where we left off with her, Oura got taken to the temple to hang with the royal family.
Oura doesnt have a sense of family and how familys are supposed to operate but she does know what love is from the rest of the group and families love eachother right??? So why does the royal family treat eachother like this????
She all but looks at the Queen and tells her that she isn't allowed to raise her own kids anymore. Oura works with Titas and his powers and talks with Magnis and genuinely loves the kids like siblings. And makes it a point to build a connection with them.
(Or maybe its because Ouras alone for the first time in her life and she doesnt know what to do without a 'group', who knows)
She's very smart. She knows immediately that if she opposes what they try to teach her, nothing good will come out of it. So she 'learns' quickly about the history of Eris and how the magic people outside the royal family are all bad and need to be killed and jailed.
She memorizes what they want her to believe but she doesnt forget how hungry the village was before it was abandoned. And she will never forget the abundance of food they could get off of the carriages. Far more than what a few nobleman and some guards would ever need.
She would always remember the house she shared with her father before he left her alone and how there was a hole in the door allowing the cold to get in in the depths of winter and animals to come in and claw at her feet when she tried to kick them away.
And then there were more rooms in the palace than Oura could count. Some of which she was told were too sacred for someone to step foot in so the door has been shut for decades.
Remember the detail about the foster children? There was one that was a servent in the palace. He was from the 4th class and was about 5 years older than Oura. He had been taken when he was ten and put to work for the royal family. He and Oura bonded quick. He explained the rules to her and told her who she needed to look out for and what questions would get her slapped.
Oura woke up one day when she was 15 and he had disappeared. Oura was too scared to ask but there was a rumor about a banned book under his mattress.
Oura learned quickly that in order for the people she cared about to not get hurt, she needed to be in control. But in order for her to not get hurt, no one could know this.
She dug and found the Queens weaknesses and secrets and only stored them in her mind, less they would be found.
And she knew that there would be a moment when she would have to utilize those secrets to one up her.
I mentioned that Oura has a bunch of biblical undertones.
The child of a God, Saviour of a people, sound familiar?
Ouras pinterest thing Ouras playlist
Titas
Titas couldnt remember a time when Oura wasnt around. Magnis barely could, but Titas, not at all.
Titas was smart, but unlike Magnis, it wasnt clouded by the need for approval. He got the approval. He was the most powerful person in his family for generations and the only prophet for a century.
And he had Oura.
She learned to read and write with him and Magnis. She would tell stories about her friends when the sun set and they could finally talk without expectations of doing something else.
She told him about the value outside of magical powers and academic abilities. He wasnt just a prophet to Oura.
The rest of his family only saw him that way.
Titas decided long ago that he preferred Oura to his mother. And he knew how to read Oura in a way that Magnis didnt know to. He saw the split second glares as she lectured about political spiels.
And he was with her the night she went through his mothers office, digging for some dirt. Oura didnt think he was old enough to remember, but he was.
He knew Oura didnt like his mom. And he knew that when, not if, it came down to it. He would follow Oura.
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cyberm4n · 4 months
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HI I LOVED UR HYPERSEXUAL FEM READER HEADCANONS UR WRITING IS SO GOOD
Soo I'm here to request the vees (mainly vox but idc) x hypersexual Fem reader pleasee 😭🙏
if not that's okay and I hope you have a nice day/night!! feel free to delete this lol
-xoxo, Ari
THANK YOU <3333 i love the vees and ive been looking for an excuse to write them so this is perfect
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vees with hypersexul reader
going with the same scenario as last time- you've just finished a round and (char) is spent but you're already ready to go again
《— vox —》
■ he seems like a 2 rounds kinda guy so after that second round and yall are just laying there he is SPENT
■ so when you roll over to lay on his chest like "one more time?" with a little smile on your face, as if yall did not just violently fuck it takes him a moment
■ he's spent, so spent. but he really wants to please you
■ he'd get used to it tbh. like he's mentally prepared everytime now but maybe sometimes he can do a round 3
■ he'd resort to toys i think, only the best for his girl <3
■ there's also something he loves about getting to hold you and watch you writhe in pleasure and he just gets to watch
■ he'd always take your preferences into mind with toys too. like if you want smth specific he's got it for you
■ i feel like he might prefer if yall are spent at the same time so the foreplay goes CRAZY
■ like it's not just foreplay it's actual rounds of getting you to cum before the main event yk
■ or sometimes he'll just ask if it'd be okay to be done for the night when he is
■ he doesn't mind either way but he'd definitely want to communicate about it
■ so yeah it might take him a little bit to adjust bit he'd be just fine!
《— valentino —》
■ okay let's be real this man fucks A LOT so he can probably do like. 3 or 4 lengthy rounds before he's tapped out
■ it's making me giggle about it but like okay val is a kinky guy, and like especially if the first time yall do anything it's a little bit rougher he is SHOCKED when you're down for more
■ he's prly into something like overstim where normally you kinda gotta reel from it after so when he's done and it takes you like. a minute or two to be like "do you wanna do it again?" he judt looks down at you so confused
■ he takes a moment, blinking. he'd definitely ask if you're kidding or smth and then finding out you're not he has to take a moment
■ like, he finds it fucking awesome but jesus christ he's finally met hsi match
■ he might use toys on you or go down on you, depends how he's feeling tbh
■ i think he'd lean towards going down on you, idk he just seems like he'd be a bit of a munch.
■ and if you're okay with it when yall fuck in the future he's constantly just seeing how far you can go before you're spent
■ long story short he's totally chill abt it when he gets used to it and thinks it's fucking great
《— velvette —》
■ okay im literally giggling and kicking my feet while typing this
■ she seems like a 2 or 3 round kind of gal
■ idk femxfem sex doesn't really go in rounds ime but like. yk.
■ so after she's spent, she's like so ready to cuddle up and sleep. but then you're caressing her cheek, nuzzling into her neck. "again?" you murmur and she has to take a moment
■ cause like, she's just super surprised you're still ready for another.
■ she'd ask the most questions abt it. like she'd want to just know more so she can support you better
■ she'd go down on you tho! anytime! she definitely has toys but she seems like the type to be more inclined to eat you out
■ if she gets tired of that she'd use a toy on you. but she stays engaged the whole time, super attentive.
■ she's a service switch so like getting to keep you pleased like this makes her feel good and she doesn't mind at all
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■ once again, all of them would embrace it and they do not mind at all!
■ if you guys with the poly hc for the vees i think it just makes it so much better for them to know it's really hard to burn you out
■ i loved this request ty <3
taglist: @reaper-of-light-12 @mxxny-lupin @wisteria-songs @t3llas @concentratedconcrete @pansexual-opera-house @dionysusismypatrongod
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olderthannetfic · 2 months
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I always see people who have never been antis, talking about/questioning how some antis even ARE antis when you look at their taste in media - ie the ever famous joke of "Hannigram is #problematique" "but it's a show where he eats people" or whatever.
I thought I'd weigh in as someone who could, hypothetically, be called an ex-anti (which, thankfully, nothing ever really came out of it - it was just very 2014 keyboardwarrior-esque behavior of me being a chronically online young adult who would share posts in a group chat making fun of certain shippers, or reblog posts about how 50shades is The Most Problematic Media Ever to exist -- basically I was an anti with anti-lines of thoughts, but i never, like, a ran a Shipping Discourse Blog or whatever)
For me, personally, it was a few different things. I can now see how it's incredibly hypocritical that teenaged me shipped Light/L, while still thinking that Dramione was Bad And Abusive. It ultimately boiled down to a) being pretentious, and b) just not understanding media or what proshippers REALLY believed, with a side of c) not realizing that nuance exists. like i was pretty late to join tumblr, I think I immigrated here during PEAK "yourfaveisproblematic" era which definitely did have an impact on my opinions and my tastes.
to elaborate, a.) being pretentious. i mean this one just kinda goes without saying. "I engage in media in a way more intellectual way than you do, don't you know that? You're a filthy and disgusting person who writes Snape/Hermione because you're an actually disgusting pedophile IRL who would probably date your own student that you're abusing if you could. Meanwhile, I'm a very smart, good, and pure person. When I read Uncle Vernon/Harry, I'm doing it in a G-d honoring whump way that clearly condemns abuse, incest, and rape. Unlike YOU who only writes harmful stuff as a way to get people off :/"
(as an aside, i think this line of thinking will ALWAYS be present in fandom and popculture in some way, sadly. ie the recent trend of people hating on booktok bc the books are 'trashy' and how these porn addicts should read real classic literature instead.)
as for b.), not understanding media - i cannot emphasize enough that i was GENUINELY stupid and disconnected enough to think that proshippers REALLY WERE pro-All Of The Degenerate Dead Doves That They Wrote.
why did i feel this way? why did i understand that Lolita clearly isnt pro-pedophilia, but for some reason i thought that someone shipping weecest was? well, first of all, i think that fanfiction is (generally) seen as Less Serious than classic literature, and fandom is a fun place, so i guess i somehow thought that every fanfic/fanartist who wrote Problematic Things, especially Problematic Things that they portrayed as Sexy, really DID enjoy the thought of that Actually Happening To Real People.
and i think THIS is the bulk of why antis ARE antis. i'm not calling them all stupid - i do think BEING an anti is stupid, but at the same time, there are people who are truly smart and good-intended people who just have some really off color opinions about, like, homestuck ships or whatever. Lawlight is okay because notebooks that kill people don't exist so it's IMPOSSIBLE for the Harmful Aspects of Light/L to be romanticized! but schoolyard prejudiced bullies DO exist and are a REAL problem so Drarry is BAD (*truly completely unaware of the fact that there's 'realistic' aspects of the Light/L dynamic and 'unrealistic' aspects of Drarry - such as, for example, Hogwarts arguably being even MORE of a fantasy setting than DN is.*) I know that media literacy is the hot buzzword of the year to throw around in 2024, but, like, i really did not have media literacy.
as for c.), not realizing nuance exists - ok "nuance" might not be the best word here, but i dont know how else to describe it. like, each time ive typed the word "problematic" out in this ask, i've done so in a very tongue in cheek/ironic/retroactive way, but, like, those posts about how Everything Is Problematic, Including Your Fave ARE true. and i didn't like the fact that my favorite media or favorite person might've Made A Mistake! i need to Talk About Its Issues Because I'm So Betrayed That My Dear Sweet Comfort Media Would Do This To Me. I Need To Prove I Clearly Condemn It.
like, i legit morally could not justify reblogging a twilight post without adding in the tags '#this is my guilty pleasure it sucks that the books were so racist though' or whatever. Most people were lucky enough to avoid that line of thinking, but there was an actual group of people who felt a genuine need to virtue signal all the time, partly bc, hey, they WERE passionate about talking abt #issues in media, but also bc of a subconscious fear of If You Reblog A Singular Piece Of Hetalia Fanart, You're Literally A Nazi And Will Get A Callout Post Written About You.
and during all of this i was at the tail end of my high school experience (yes i know im younger than most of your audience, ha). i was going through A Lot emotionally, going through a lot of life changes, and lived in a very . . . interesting household/place where i couldn't do ACTUAL good in the world that i was passionate about. so to make up for the fact that i was genuinely in no place to do legit activism, clearly i had to save the gay community by arguing about johnlock queerbaiting or whatever.
^ and honestly i do think that is the position of most antis. theyre isolated and cant seem to do Enough in the Real Scary World so they have to resort to talking about how bad of a person someone is for "shipping abuse", bc theyre not in a situation where they could, for example, ACTUALLY fight the good fight to end abuse or raise awareness for it.
There was way more to it and way more that I could say, if I wanted to, but this post is long enough as it is and probably doesn't make much sense.
I feel bad for antis, honestly, or at least the ones who are antis in the way I used to be.
--
Oh yes, passionate young fools who think they can at least fix the internet if not their lives make up most of the cannon fodder. Some of the ringleaders are just mini dictators and wannabe cult leaders, but most anti-leaning types are just traumatized or clueless, even a lot of the ones who do serious damage and don't just mock shit in private with their friends.
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omamorens · 23 days
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Do you have any HCs with Ivy and Ink Blade?
OH BOY IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. ivy is a very interesting character to me (fhjy spoilers: and im glad she survived). tho people might not really like her that much, i think shes neat and could have a lot of nuances if her character could be explored enough
ivy (pre and post shatter-star) is a regina george mean girl but with pop-punk rock aesthetics.
she’s a girls girl and much like her canon, she loves fashion.
loves fashion in a sense that she loves it for Herself and not because she wants to impress anyone.
she does not give a shit about what anyone thinks of her actually, and that generally comes off as “mean”.
ivy only sees her attitude as a filter for those too weak to be acquainted with her.
though she has a hard exterior, she does have a soft spot for those who could actually stick by her.
riding off on that “loves fashion” part, i think ivy is particularly good at finding good deals and the best bargains. she doesn’t go for the most expensive stuff because that’s just wasteful.
she’s the type of friend you want to go to the flea market with because this girl drives a hard bargain.
riding off of that, ivy always takes oisin out to shop because there’s not a lot of dragonborn-proof clothes for him so when they do find stuff, its too expensive to be worth it unless ivy is the one bargaining for him.
oisin is always grateful of her for it.
in her shatter-star state, ivy’s “mean” attitude got nastier and more cruel
ivy has a hard time asking for forgiveness (oisin will tell you that she almost never says the word “i’m sorry” genuinely), but she does it in her own way.
sometimes when she passes by mazey in the halls, ivy genuinely compliments the bard on her badidas.
“nice shoes. they’re the 90’ exclusive line, right? those were the best quality shoes they released. such a shame their next series went downhill from there.”
mazey, apprehensive of ivy at first but open to having this conversation with her, “no, yeah, you’re absolutely right. these are the only pairs i can both dance and fight in. its been a year but theyre still going strong.”
and the girls continue talking about finding the best deals and the most practical clothing they could have as adventurers. fabian is not very happy about this.
mazey of course is not required to forgive ivy for things she said and done, and ivy is not at all actively seeking for verbal forgiveness anyway
but they can be courteous to each other and bond over similar interests
lucy, being a frost genasi, absolutely knows how to knit. she knits her own clothes sometimes because not much clothing items in stores have her size.
when ivy found out about this during freshman year, ivy asked lucy to teach her and they absolutely bonded over knitting.
at some point both the girls have knitted some stuff for all the members of their party.
everyone still keeps their knitted gifts, even if they’re frayed or have grown too small for them to use.
surely i will have more to write on her character but for now these are what i have on the top of my head. ivy embra they dont get you like i do (ivy hcs with inkblade i will continue in another post because this one got too long)
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damnedbeauty77 · 2 months
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leon kennedy x fem!reader
!MDNI!
cw: smut, p in v, reader a little traumatised, vanilla and protected, swearing. idk how to do this
summary: reader meets leon, her possible future boss, in a bar with jill and chris.
notes: this is my first time writing smut, did proofread and edit before publishing, if u have any ideas for improvement just dm me x
words: 2.1k
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i sit at the bar, leaning over to ask the bartender for a pink gin. what can i say, it looks pretty. my friend went home with some girl already, leaving me with myself at 10.30 at night.
it's fine. it's whatever. i could meet someone. i could have fun.
"hi there."
a guys takes the stool next to me.
i smile. he's cute. he has light, silver-y hair, parted to the side in a messy style. very much, my type.
"hi there." i respond lightly. i might be little drunk.
"i'm leon. what's your name?" he asks, putting an elbow on the bar to tap his fingers on his wood. i have to stop myself from giggling.
"y/n... are you going to buy me a drink?" i twirl my my hair lazily and leon almost copies my movements, brushing his hair back with his left hand. i wonder if he has a bald spot.
"of course. what are you having?"
"well, i'm actually looking to try something new. ive been drinking gin since i was 16. what would you recommend?"
"well, for a pretty girl like you, id have to say a cocktail. vodka, maybe... sex on the beach?"
...
"you work in the bsaa? i literally applied there yesterday!" i laugh. "yeah, well, kind of. i work with them in the dso."
my mouth drops a little in shock. "no way, you're leon kennedy? one of the—"
"founders, yes." leon sighs, laughing. "i really didn't expect all of this to come up when i decided to come talk to you."
i stop and blink a little. i forgot what he was really here for, at least for a moment. "well, shit. sorry. i mean like.. we can still go somewhere, if you want." his eyes widen a little. "no, no i'm sorry. i like talking to you. i was going to ask for your number- my friends are still here." he signals to a table in the corner of the bar. a man and a woman laugh together as they drink.
i smile. "oh, i've been keeping you from them."
"not at all, they told me to talk to you - encouraged me."
"well i hope you don't have a bet going, because i was starting to like you."
leon laughs. "really?"
"don't be smug. do you still want my number?" it feels so normal. "yes."
i wrote it out on a napkin and gave it to him.
"can i meet your friends? that guy is pretty hot." i tease him, making him bit his lower lip. a tinge of jealously emanates off of him. "i thought the girl would be more your type." he replies. i nod. "she is."
i follow leon to the table. he introduces me.
"this is y/n." he says to them. "hi. it's nice to meet you." i reply. "that's chris redfield, and that's jill valentine."
"hi." the girl says to me. oh my god, she is actually really gorgeous. "sit with us." she says, opening the seat next to her as leon takes a seat next to chris. i look at chris. he makes eye contact for a second, then looks away as he drinks his beer.
"i love your jacket." i tell jill. she's wearing black leather, i'm assuming faux based on her haircut.
"thank you, i got it from a thrift store, i think..." she replies. knew it. "i love your top. it's really sexy." she says. i look down. i'm wearing a black mesh top with a black bra underneath. "oh shit. i really forget whenever i wear this shirt.. then wonder why everyone is staring at my tits." i take a drink. i notice jill looking at my tits for a second before clearing her throat. "totally. i see the appeal." she says. then she puts a hand to her head in embarrassment. i laugh. "you're very brave."
"chris, y/n said she was applying to the bsaa." leon changes the subject, turning to me. "he works there right now."
i straighten up my posture, "oh well, i hope you forget everything i do tonight and put in a good word for me."
chris nods. "I'll ask about you." he replies. i feel a bit shouldered. is he emotionally unavailable? is that why i'm so attracted to him?
"what do you do, now?" jill asks me. "i was in the airforce, for just about 4 years." i say. "i've been kind of working a bunch of different jobs, i was in the nypd, until last month."
"airforce. you hear that chris?" jill laughs a little, looking at me. "i was in the airforce as well, when i was younger." chris elaborates. "what base were you?"
"active duty. but honestly, they kind of kept me behind the scenes. i can fly a jet, but i guess i'm just better on a computer."
"see, us girls gotta stay together." jill pushes my shoulder. jesus christ, how many drinks has she had?
"yeah, of course. girl." i smile. "what do you guys do?" leon spluffs. "oh, you know. just bsaa stuff. bioterrorism, security..." he trails off. "what are the two a's again?" he asks chris. he laughs a bit, letting out a little sigh.
...
by around 12am, i start to feel exhausted. we've been talking and drinking for hours, and i just want to... i don't know. go home? but i want to stay with them at the same time...
i check my watch. "it's getting pretty late. i think i might go home." i look at chris for a reaction. he does give me a look of respect, i know when to stop.
"no way, you've drank way too much. i'll call you a cab." leon protests.
"no, no, i only live like a mile from here."
"then i'll walk you home." he insists. i smile. "really? you'd do that?" jill and chris talk in the background. leon smiles in return. "yeah. of course."
i nod.
he walks me out the bar, at one point placing a hand on the small of my waist at one point, making me let go of consciousness.
"you know, i'm staying just down that way." he points with two fingers to a lane next to us. "if you want, you can stay at my place for the night."
my face totally flushes. "um, i wouldn't mind that." not the first time ive fucked someone i met the first night after meeting them. leon's nice though. i think he would call me.
"okay.. good." he says. he turns to me for moment, looking into my eyes. then, kisses me softly. i feel blood rush to my brain in satisfaction and arousal.
"thanks for coming to talk to me tonight. i probably would have left if you didn't." i tell him, putting my arms around his neck as he lets go of my ass... when did he managed to slip his hands there??
he leads me down the streets, his hand around my waist as he flirts shamelessly. then as he's about to open the door to go inside, he stops and looks at me.
"this isn't.. going too fast, or anything, right?"
"i'm fine with it as long as you are. we don't have to do anything you don't want to."
"no, no- i want to. i want to." he almost whines. his tone makes me smile. "good." i repeat him, kissing him again as he fumbles to get the door open.
he tastes like liquor.
i clear my throat, leaning into him. "can i go freshen up?"
he stammers a bit, face red. "yeah, the bathroom is down the hall to the left." he says. i nod, kissing him again before going. i wash under my eyes a bit for makeup, do my business, wash my hands again, then go back out.
leon is on the couch, tv on. he's put on closer. one of my favourites that i mentioned in the bar!
"oh my god, this movie is so sexy." i say, sitting down next to him. "well, i wanted to see what the fuss was about." he says, leaning back and taking a smoke.
"natalie portman, is the fuss." i say, placing my head next to his shoulder on the couch. "wow. you're right. they are all hot." leon laughs a bit, putting a rough hand on my thigh. he draws circles with his thumb over my skin. i look up at him, biting my lip.
i start unbuckling his jeans quickly, kissing him again, this time it looks sloppier, messier. "fuck, y/n." he groans as i palm him through his black calvin kleins. "these are hot.." i comment. "did you know you'd come home with someone to fuck tonight?" i ask innocently. he denies it. "wanted you as soon as i saw you."
i take off the mesh top jill complimented earlier. leon runs his hands all over my hips, waist and plays with the straps on my bra. i take off his shirt before he can do anything with my bra, then strip down my skirt as he pulls down his trousers. he lies sideways on the couch as i crawl over him, kissing his neck, trying to find the spot that makes him moan the most. "do you.. do you have a condom?" leon breathes out.
"yeah, hold on." i say, turning to the side of the couch with my bag leaning on it, opening it rapidly to take out the condom.
i rip it apart, seeing as he's already hard, i put it over his dick without even thinking. it's pretty big. like 7 inches at least. leon fingers me from underneath me, pushing my thong to the side. i moan and kiss his chest, licking a strip from above his dick to before the little line of blond hair at his bellybutton. he loves that, gripping my hair and pulling it up a little. "should i give you head or something, before?" he asks quietly. i shake my head. "i'll be fine. thank you, though." i smile through kisses down his chest, his fingers brushing over my clit. i line myself up as leon takes out his fingers, sinking down on him as i grab onto him shoulders. he sits up a bit, taking my waist with two hands to guide me back and forth on his dick. i roll my hips, kissing him roughly as i run my hands through his hair, combing it through my fingers. his neighbours had to have been hearing us.
leon rubs my clit with one finger as i start lifting myself up and down on him, legs wrapped around him at this point for the best angle. "please, please say my name." he asks quietly. i smile. "what? i can't hear you, baby." i tease him, kissing his ear. he leans his neck back, kissing my lips. "say my name, y/n." he asks again, a bit more commanding this time. and perfectly, he hits my g-spot with a thrust. "leon.. ughh, leon." i moan softly, and he replies by digging his nails into my back. "can i go on top.." he asks a little shy. i nod, letting him push me into my back, landing my head flawlessly onto a loose pillow. he pushes into me again, going significantly faster as he holds up the back of my knees beside his hips.
i see his eyes close for moment, and i feel his dick twitch a little in me. is he about to cum? i can barely read his face.
"fuck, you feel so fucking good." he says. i lean my head back a little, encouraging him to drive as far into me as possible. "oh my god, leon.." i groan, grabbing onto the sofa, scratching the fabric. i moan loud as i cum.
leon quickly follows with a low guttural groan to pair with his stalled thrusts.
i give him a kiss as he pulls out, almost immediately passing out on the couch. he throws the condom in a trash can, collapsing next to me, still naked.
"that was good. you're really good at that." leon says, wiping his forehead a little. i smile, thanking him. "it wasn't your first time, right?" i joke. he laughs, shrugging. "first time having sex with someone i met the same night. also, first time having sex pretty drunk." he confesses, making me laugh a bit. "my apologies if i have trouble remembering this. if i get the job, i mean."
"fuck, i totally forget that you might be working for me in a week... don't mention it to HR, right?" he slides on his boxers again. "so, you're my dirty secret now?" i ask. "if it helps to think of that way, then absolutely." he puts his shirt back on. "you want something else to wear? can't imagine that's comfortable." he points to my tight lace bra and panties.
"if you got a big shirt, i'll take it. want to finish the movie?"
"sure, but you'll have to catch me up." leon smiles coyly.
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ofcowardiceandkings · 10 months
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companion piece of young Link
AAHH i finally finished something :'D
i've uh had some very specific Thoughts about Zelda's childhood for a while now so its about time i put them to paper - this is actually round TWO since the original doodles are lost to ... somewhere ... i like these second editions better though so alls well that ends well
we're looking at ages around 4, 7 and 10 years old here touchin bugs in the dirt, archery practice, and playing a lyre ;w;
more detailed Thoughts under the cut 💙
iiitssss customary ranting about my BotW/TotK opinions tiiiimeeee welcome my darlingsss jfkdjfkd 💙
i had a much more solid idea about where i was going with Zelda than with Link but some of it is kinda abstract or weird lol
we know a fair amount about her upbringing in general, or can infer as much from Zelda's interactions with her father and what they and people around them wrote. she was clearly a smart and vivacious kid with a strong personality from the start, no matter how much you sort of squash that shit for the public face, repression etc. so yknow, her mother's death when she was 6, awful. her father's change in attitude especially in her teens, awful. being under public scrutiny her whole life, awful. restrictive structure of royal life, dull (i bet it bored Zelda to death at times no matter how strongly duty-oriented she is). having said that though, she got by and just by looking at her study, she clearly got stuff done to herself - you can take the kid away from the science but the science stays with the kid !!!
additionally, forgive me for mentioning ... timelines ... but in my humble onion, BotW/TotK serve as a Dragon-Break scenario which are SO far in the future from other entries that ALL timelines will inevitably converge and lead to that point, so it doesnt matter any more (i dont like extended Timeline theory, Nindooty doesnt like extended Timeline theory, the current writing team seem to want shot of it, let me be). being a history guy i also subscribe to leaning on the LEGEND aspect of 100 and 1000 year games of telephone, it makes things spicy. tradition is a strange thing, we do things we dont have much of a context for anymore, we're still living with the cultural hangovers of people living when mammoths were around and no thats not hyperbole lol its WILD. ive typed around the point enough lets get going
she was a bugs girl !!!! she still IS a bugs girl lmao but if our 16 year old girlie is gonna pounce on frogs apropos of nothing, that 4 year old girlie is gonna go catch bugs in the Royal Gardens and freak out her maids or escorts with them, good for her 💅
the other two are where my timeline thing comes in; the triforce is never mentioned by name, its just there in symbolism ?? something about the blood of the goddess ?? divine sealing powers ??? no one knows in the same vein, i like to think that its traditional for Hylian Princesses to learn archery and play a lyre or harp ... but no one remembers quite WHY ?? so Zelda does. the Priestess-Princess* role means the public is aware that Zelda had formal singing training, but its not really common knowledge outside of the Castle that the Royal Girls do THIS (no one knows why that part is important either, but it stays in the Castle). she might be a little out of practice now, but give that muscle memory enough time and she might be able to really surprise people.
*this is part of the Japanese translation, at least in Kass' final song Zelda is referred to as an term roughly meaning Priestess-Princess - which makes total sense to me
ohhh my god i talked a lot okay i just love my gorl fhjdkfjdk
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actual footage of me explaining my shit and going way long
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cat3ch1sm · 1 year
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⚰️~ hello, everyone! welcome back to another post. i finally finished my masterlist, so now it will be updated as i write and upload new works. see my pinned post to find the masterlist <33 anyway, here are some nsfw jjk headcanons. ive done these before, with death note and hxh, and they can be found in the masterlist! i will probably do this for all the fandoms i write for lmao 💚 enjoy, ily <33
˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*·̩̩̥͙ nsfw ahead, fem!reader, eating out
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𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐭 😺? 𝐟𝐭. 𝐣𝐮𝐣𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐮 𝐤𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞! 𝐟𝐭. (aged up!) 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢, 𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚, 𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢, 𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢
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𝐲𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢
some people are weird about eating 😺, but not itadori. he’ll do whatever you want to make you feel good. he might not really know what he’s doing at first, but a nudge in the right direction and he’s got it- just tell him where it feels best when he runs his tongue over your sex and itadori will never forget. he’s really eager with it, too, kinda like a puppy tbh with his tongue flicking up and down your clit. (a/n-bitch what the fuck kinda comparison is that stop😭😭) itadori asks constantly “does this feel good?” “does that feel good?” and he’ll just keep going like that even when he’s obviously doing well and you can’t even get a word out to answer him. he’s really good at making you finish, not too fast and not too slow, and he’ll swallow whatever comes out of you.
𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐤𝐢
nobara, believe it or not, is a tiny bit shy about being eaten out or eating someone else out. still, she’s not selfish, so nobara will definitely eat you out if you really want her to. she might start out a bit tentative. she isn’t really the “does this feel good?” type like itadori, but she does pay attention to your body language, like where she kisses you that makes your breath hitch or where she licks that makes your moans louder. when nobara gets the hang of it, though, she kinda gets cocky, but not in a genuinely mean way. she’s more like a soft dominant type, like “that feel good, huh, baby?” or “you like when i do this, don’t you?” AGH i wish this girl was real im literally so weak for her.
𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨
suspiciously enough, he’s very good at it (what girl taught u this nigga?🤨) the only thing is he can be a tiny bit timid, so he’s a little slow to make you cum. as a result, though, megumi’s great at edging, however unintentionally. he can stall an orgasm for just long enough that it feels twice as amazing when you finally come. he is also big on foreplay, and makes you wait until he actually puts his mouth on you. expect lots of light thigh kisses and breathplay before megumi actually eats you out. he also likes to use his fingers on you simultaneously, except he goes agonizingly slowly on purpose just to listen to your needy whimpers. he’s honesty just as cocky as someone like gojo would be doing this, just in a much quieter way, but you can see it in his eyes.
𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢
he eats your 😺 mainly for his own pleasure. because of this, he likes to prolong the time before you come as much as possible- toge’s very big on edging. obviously he can’t dirty talk, but his actions speak for themselves. he kisses you a lot, both during and after eating you out as praise. when you grind your hips into his tongue, toge squeezes your thighs to let you know you’re doing a good job. he also does not care about wiping his mouth off after you cum in his mouth before kissing you- he loves hearing the tiny whimpers you emit when you taste yourself on his lips.
𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐳𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧
i kinda hc that maki is wlw anyway (please don’t kill me), so she’s not new to eating 😺. at the same time, though, that means not every girl likes the same things, so she’s very attentive to how your body reacts and asks every now and then if what she’s doing feels good. maki is big on edging and overstimulation- she won’t let you come for the longest time and make you beg for it and then immediately after make you come until you physically can’t anymore. also soft dom energy- “you’re doing so well, pretty girl” or “come on, beautiful, i know you can come just one more time for me, okay?” although maki does overstimulate you, she isn’t mean about it, and will definitely periodically make sure she isn’t doing too much. she’s also the type who lets out these low, barely audible moans when she’s eating you out- that’s how much she enjoys making you feel good.
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hi so this is a bit of a rant because I had a lot on my mind and needed to get it out, don't mind me, I might have gone little mad in this. warning: probably an unpopular opinion
ok now that you're here.
why are the logical behind pre-tlo jealous!percy fics so despicable? like seriously. this is a sentiment ive seen from lot of percabeth fans, and I hate it so much.
so a lot of posts I've seen about this are like "why did percy have to have love interests ? annabeth needs a side man too to make it equal" ok first of all, why is there some weighing scale in all of this? it's not a court situation where we need to judge which side committed more crimes.
having a 'side man' for annabeth completely disrespects the feelings she was going through in the period of botl-tlo. I think most people forget that rachel wasn't her only problem during that time. luke, her older brother figure from 7 years old had been possessed by the soul of kronos. OF COURSE she would be emotionally unavailable due to her grief. at the end of botl, percy describes that SHE never came and talked to him either about the kiss or whatever. it was a mutual silent treatment. percy couldnt have confessed to annabeth even if he tried, because it was obviously a bad time for her duh. they rlly expect percy to be like "annabeth😍 I know you're going through major grief right now ❤️ but pls kiss me" the same way annabeth found it hard to confess to percy because of rachel and whatever.
people think it's really funny to write fics about annabeth flirting with someone like connor during times like when percy got exploded by the volcano. "percy was doing things with Calypso too--" HE WAS HEALING. He had to stay there for some time to heal after getting EXPLODED. he was also tempted with paradise. stuff like that isn't a decision to make in a second. having annabeth have fun with other boys with connor or smthn while she thinks percy is dead is such a disrespect to her love for percy, I wonder how people like that are percabeth fans at all. same goes for fics where annabeth does it ON PURPOSE to make percy mad.
problem with these type of fics is that they're so PETTY. "If i was annabeth I would have made percy beg on his knees" "if I was annabeth I would murder him--" BUT YOURE NOT ANNABETH. annabeth chase LOVED percy jackson and would never do something on purpose to hurt percy or annoy him. she's not vicious like you.
also percy wasn't falling all over rachel and calypso. he treated them as he would treat any other best friend and kept his distance romantically, even though it was clear he might have had a crush. making annabeth purposefully flirt with other guys or accept other guys advances doesn't equal the weighing scale, it makes it even more unequal.
look, I'm not saying annabeth can't have any love interest other than percy. she CAN find other men attractive. she CAN have interest in other men. you can write that all you want. I'm just saying it was never something so necessary and the logic behind it is so petty. and her weaponising it because of her jealousy towards rachel is just so not something she would ever do.
also, just a short note before this ends: i actually like some jealous!percy fics. some are good. it's just some people get really worked up about the fact that annabeth NEEDS a love interest to get back at percy. that's who I'm mad about. if you've written a jealous!percy fic, cool!
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solarswonderland · 10 months
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dear hanbin
pairing: gn!reader x s.hanbin
wc: 0.5k
genre: fluff, highschool au
warnings: nothing really, just hopeless kids in love
summary: writing a love letter to him
a/n: ive never written anything like this before, I'm actually pretty proud of it. please lmk if it was alright 😓😓
*y.i: your initials
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you were always a pen-and-paper person.
you didn't like typing down reminders or to-do lists, you preferred writing them down. there was just something so special about writing to you. probably the way you'd have to shake your pen occasionally because you ran out of ink. or the satisfaction you gain when you scratch out a completed task.
which is probably why you're standing in front of sung hanbin's locker, holding a carefully sealed envelope, decorated with hearts and small stickers you found stuffed deep in your desk drawers.
sung hanbin was truly not real, you thought. there was no way that man was real. he was just too good to be true. the adorable smile, the way he helps everyone around him, how he never got mad, how generous, smart, and nice he is. not to mention, he is incredibly handsome as well. it's no joke, everyone was in love with him. which is one reason you were always too scared to ever confess.
but if there was one thing you were confident in, it was your writing. you figured, since you can't form proper sentences in front of him, why not pen down your thoughts in the form of a letter instead? and that's exactly what you did.
you made sure no one was watching you and slipped the envelope into his locker. you breathed a sigh of relief and made you way to your next class.
after you were gone, hanbin made his way to his locker after basketball practice. he opened it and was startled to see a blue-colored envelope fall out. he grabbed it off the floor and opened it. he thought it might have been mistakenly placed in his locker, but instead was surprised when he read the first two words.
dear hanbin,
it was addressed to him after all. although he was tired and sweaty from practice, he was curious. he continued reading the letter.
dear hanbin,
my heart is racing with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, there are so many words i've been wanting to say to you for years, and i finally have the chance.
from the moment i met you in middle school, when you lent me your pencil because i forgot mine, i've liked you. who knows, maybe its love?
your smile lights up my darkest days, and you have never once failed to make me laugh. every interaction, no matter how small or big, is etched into my memory, replaying over and over again like a broken record. i've admired your kindness, your intelligence, and the way you effortlessly make everyone around you feel at ease.
i want you to know that my feelings for you have not faded with time, if anything, they've grown stronger.
i understand that this letter might come as a surprise, and let's be honest, life's unpredictable. but i couldn't hold back my feelings any longer than i already have. whether fate leads us down a path of togetherness or friendship, i just needed you to know the truth that has been in my heart for so long.
no matter what your response may be, i'll respect it. no matter where life takes us, know that you'll always hold a special place in my heart.
with love,
y.i ♡
he smiled to himself as he read it. just as he was closing the letter after re-reading it over and over again, he saw some text in the back which made him laugh.
do you like me?
□ yes □ no
no pressure, you don't have to tick anything right now :)
sorry that's kinda creepy isn't it
i should probably stop writing...
he grabbed a pen and ticked the 'yes' option, quietly giggling to himself.
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© solarswonderland 2023
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honakito · 5 months
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Plz akito kiss hcs ..
⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏are you wearing lipstick on purpose ? ?
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LIP MARKS - prod. honakito
posted as : request
chars : s. akito , y. kanade
type: x g/n ! reader
scenario : kisses with them ( headcanons )
notes : that is so cute im gonna give u a smooch. now this MIGHT be similar to others posts but everything in this context is unintentional,,, so no i am not a copycat ,, tho, enjoy!!
notes 2 : i wrote kanade too even tho she wasnt in the request because i also want to write other characters ,,,, because as much as i want this to be an akito blog i genuienly CANT </3 id get bored and theres no SPICE in that what the fuck,,, also i flunged my math comp today (even tho i have the highest grades and like general grade in class with a 9,94) i got a like 55 this is not my first time the 55 has cursed me i cant escape ,, so now ive been ghosting everyone that has asked me for my score im genuinely so embarrassed ( this is also NOT the first time ive did this )
date : 19 / 01 / 24 - 20 / 01 / 24
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s. akito 
akitos lips are soft. like genuinely so soft.
hes probably had them chapped for a little while , due to practicing in the sun a lot. before you started helping him on it. i guess it payed off , so , so well.
so now , after helping him treat them, his kisses got somehow better.
its like theyre more tender and passionate now. maybe its his way of getting back at you for giving him tips and buying the necessary things he needed? pretty much. yeah definitely. 
small fact : he still kept the things you bought him for his lips , neat and clean on his desk. ‘ im keeping those for when they get dry again, not for kissing you better. they heavily influence my singing, y’know? ‘ - thats his excuse anyway.
usually, they arent that long. in hurries, he usually just leaves a small peck. a kiss on the forehead, even. tho he only does this when no ones watching , not too fond of pda because of three certain someones. the most he can do in public is a quick kiss on the hand, on one of the rings you wear, if you do actually use jewelry.
but in private , its like a switch flipping. hes initiating it a lot more, each kiss lasting two times more than usual with one break slipped in there somewhere. mostly on the lips, but doesnt limit there. hed kiss you all over your face occasionally , if hes feeling mischievous. or in comfort. depends on the context.
and about hand placement — definitely on your waist. he likes it alot. in an innocent way, ofcourse. in general, he just likes it. wrapping his arms around it from behind you , hugging you and resting his face on your shoulder. akito himself doesnt know why.
so basically — his kissers are tender , passionate , and depend on his mood. hes a pretty simple guy.
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y. kanade
if akitos lips were soft, then kanades are heavenly, if taken care of properly.
her lack of self care is there, ofcourse, even worse if it wasnt for honami. but with a little bit of your help, i feel like shed eventually get better — and that includes skincare and just beauty in general.
she has dry lips, due to working a lot during both mornings and nights , so she doesnt really have time to take care of them — or she oftenly licks them to the extent of it. it doesnt take a lot of chapstick to get them nice and soft, tho.
theyd DEFINITELY taste like soy cup noodles, argue with the entirety of usa. or collectively agree. i dont care i know im right.
her kisses arent special, but they hold a lot of sentimental expression to both you and kanade. for her , leaving you quick pecks anywhere on your face is a way to express what shes feeling. is she proud? is she happy? did something happen? does she need attention? you’ll only know through her quick kiss on your cheek.
she cant last through really long kisses tho — poor girl runs out of breath so fast. thats why you both settled in quick pecks.
and hand placement during those? your cheeks or the back of your head , running her hands through your hair. doesnt matter if youre taller (which is likely) , she’d initiate it (rarely long) by gently cupping your cheeks and bringing your face closer to her.
summed up — shes a decent kisser. just dont suffocate her during your time. 
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does anybody wanna be on my taglist…. ive been considering doing one ,,
dividers arent mine ; credits to the rightful owners on TUMBLR
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xr0tt3nxfl3shx · 5 months
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👁💊My Medicine is underdeveloped and my Amygdala won't work.💉👁
Twomp[AU] fanfiction + art !! Pertains to the events in this post. [No beta we die.]
⚠️‼️TW: VOMITING / OVERDOSE / SUICIDAL IDEATION / UNREALITY / CORRUPT MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM / GENERAL MENTAL ILLNESS THEMES‼️⚠️
A/N: i didnt wanna mention it tbh but just in case, ive been down the chemical consumption road 3 times, an i mention because i know the internet has opinions on mental illness in writing. But ive been there myself. All up close and personal like. so i think i can speak on it (dont castrate me)
POV: 👁Argos👁
I scratch at my skin in the dark of my room as if that'll hold in the tears from spilling over my burning red cheeks. The feeling of rage and overwhelming depression clash within me, and leave me to switch every few minutes between cursing the name of every therapist who ever told me that "I'm not even trying to get better" and crying over the idea that they might be right.
My heartbeat is so vigorous that it feels like at any moment the tendons will tear away and my heart will burst in my ribs. How could anyone say that to me? I seethe and hiss through my gritting teeth. Why can't I get better? I cry enough to fill an ocean and nearly drown in my tears.
I should be able to control all of this by now, I'm not a child. Yet, I can't stop thinking about putting the heads of those who hurt me on a platter. Or banging my head on my bedroom wall hard enough to dull the heartbreak. My eyes are running dry from all the tears, I've been at this for a while. My head is pounding from the adrenaline. All reasonable thoughts are drowned out, with intrusive and irrational ones taking the place of my internal voice of reason.
I can make it better, I can make this better. I just need to try a little harder! Just.. go a little further. These feelings, it's just a chemical imbalance right?
I'm running out of options, types of therapy, pills, at this point I might as well just get a lobotomy. I'm sure my therapist would like that.
There's still time to make this right. I don't have to end my life to end my suffering right?
I can prove them wrong. I will prove them wrong. It's just a chemical imbalance. I just need to fix it.
I rummage through the medicine cabinet above my bathroom sink, overlooking the blood crusting around the drain. There has to be something in here that can make my head stop pounding or my thoughts quiet down if not for just a little while. Maybe everything all at once? Yeah that should do!
Laid out in front of me on the cold tiled floor of my bathroom are various pill bottles. The amount of pills actually in them is varied, they like to switch my meds every other week it seems. I try to be hasty with this, pouring out a small handful of gel capsules into my hand. Each one smooth, glossy, and slightly cool to the touch.
You know, I've been here before, and typically there's some survival instinct in me, paralyzing my hands before I can do any damage. But all I can feel is anguish. And anger. And there's no more room for self preservation in me.
I take my first dose before I can come down from my emotion fueled adrenaline rush. Quickly now don't let the self preservation come back. I take my next dose of a new pill type, a tablet. It was a bad idea doing this dry but oh well!
Before I know it I'm slumped against my bathroom door, unable to continue my self medication on account of the mounds of pills I dry swallowed having begun triggering my gag reflex. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about this, but it had to be done. My therapist is always urging me to take steps in the right direction!
(Though admittedly he never mentioned which direction is the right one.)
I make it back to my bed, dragging my feet and leaning on the wall for support the whole way. It's not even five minutes in when I start to feel the effects. I probably should've eaten before taking my pills like the instructions say.
This is different though, I feel my connection to reality slip right through my jittery fingers. Like the shadows in my room are divulging their presence. Like they are reaching out their hands, ready to take hold of me, pull me in and make me one with unreality. An emptiness overcomes me, something I've truly never felt before. And it's the strangest thing, because simultaneously I've never felt more alive in my life.
Everything is really funny, I've never noticed how funny everything is up until now. Every little unorganized thought that pops up in my foggy, spacing-out head manages to get a strained laugh out of me.
Visual snow floods my peripheral, the colors of the world begin to become one with the static in my eyes.
Ah, I remembered what I was going to do in here. I need to call Mr. Plant. I need him to know that I'm going to get better, and how much I love him of course. Oh he'll never understand just how much I love him! I love him to death, haha! Literally.
I dial in the number. Moving has proven difficult, like trying to control a vehicle while tired and out of it, or in my case trying to control a vehicle through the most debilitating brain fog I've ever experienced. The disconnection from body and thought is almost calming.
The ringing of the phone is such a funny thing as well. I could lose myself in the methodical rhythm and loose vibrations running up my hands- oh look here he's answered!
"M‐r… plant! I ha-ve.. s o me thi.. ng to tell you."
I am fighting to get the words out. The weak sounds I manage to get out of my raspy throat come out in uneven tones with jarring stutters. Why is it so hard to speak?
"I took.. a lot o-f... my me-ds. Ha-ha!" He hangs up immediately.
Is he not happy for me? It wasn't long before I heard sirens closing in. Did he call the cops on me? That's no fair, no fair at all.
I've never been rolled into the back of an ambulance on a stretcher before but there's a first time for everything I suppose. It's too bad I'm too out of it to really experience it.
In the ambulance is when the first wave of nausea hits. I could barely even feel the EMT insert the IV or hear when they asked me questions.
———
The heart palpitations do their diligence distracting from the perforations left in my arm from the injections of various medications and the IV drip.
My respiration is just as irregular as my heart's chemical damaged rhythm. I feel like I'm drowning in this heavy air and it feels like the knots in my stomach have spread to my heart. This pain is so unbearable that I feel the need to crave it out of myself with a blade.
The world is doubling- no tripling, blurring, and mushing together all at once. I can feel the hum of the fluorescent hospital light buzz through my head. The scent of rubbing alcohol and sterilized equipment is evident throughout the cold medical facility.
By my own hands I've made my body a place unsuitable for living. I've "almost drugged myself to an early grave" as the hospital staff keep reminding me.
Speaking of body, I can no longer tell where I end and the wires of the EKG machine begin. Neuropathy has set in and nerve sensation has dulled for the most part, except in my stomach and heart where it hurts the most of course. But me and the machines they have me hooked up to might as well be one as long as they are taking the place of my dysfunctional body systems.
When they run the EKG scan, which they do about every half hour, they ask me to stay as still as I can, but it's hard to control the shaking when I don't know where it comes from in the first place. I'm by no means cold, or if I am I really can't feel it.
Have I mentioned the shaking? The tremors? I need to grow accustomed to the flavor of raw stomach acid soon, because that's all I've been throwing up anymore. It's all that's left.
The nausea begins to build all over again, like my stomach is writhing and contorting in my torso. I can feel the knots being tied. Over the next few minutes it builds and builds, I'd do anything to stop the encroaching bile now. The nausea completely overwhelms my senses right before another round of the most violent retching I've ever experienced. Accompanied by the most awful squelching and splattering sounds as it hits the rest of vomit already resting at the bottom of the bag.
I feel like I'm nearing being turned inside out everytime it happens. And I've filled yet another vomit bag. This isn't going to stop for days as the doctor told me. I doubt I'll get the luxury of unconsciousness.
The activated charcoal they gave me to drink is like this black sludge, "slow and steady now, don't drink so fast you throw it all up but not so slow that you succumb to the consequences of your own actions." Well maybe that's not what they really said but it's how it felt. I can tell the staff are judging me, I just know it! They think I deserve this.
At least the charcoal is cherry flavored.
My many eyes dart around the clean and pristine hospital room erratically, glancing off in every direction. I don't want anyone to look at me anymore. I can't stand the buzz of the lights and I can barely bring myself to move enough to blink. Or even move enough to breathe. I am much too dizzy and light-headed to even consider standing up. I'm so dizzy I could swear I'm phasing in and out of my body. The only thing keeping my consciousness bound to this body is the unending pain ancoring me in the reality of my situation.
It's growing increasingly unbearable.
Above all else I am losing my mind trying to figure out where I went wrong tonight. These chemicals were supposed to fix all these feelings. The pills were supposed to fix me. My psychiatrists and therapists all told me that I'm sick, disordered, and all I needed was to buy a few more medicines.
It must be my fault, it must be if hundreds of milligrams of mood stabilizers can't just make it better.
Tell me, anyone tell me, why I'm so useless that I can't even help myself?
Why am I so worthless that my medicine won't work on me?
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I am almost entirely suspended in unreality. The prozac, olanzapine, mirtazapine, and everything other useless drug they gave me were meant to cure me. I've tried everything!
I've done the very most I can to try and make the bad thoughts quiet down. And are the thoughts that tell me "I'd be better dead", my own thoughts, or a symptom of one of my diagnoses?
Is the reason I'm like this the same reason I don't deserve love, or do I not deserve love because I'm like this? I want to get better. I swear I really do.
So why does no one believe me?
"Sir, you have a visitor." The nurse informs me in a harsh yet hush tone.
The words barely make it through my chemical head. I'm practically catatonic in this hospital bed. But when I do process them I pray to every divine that it is who I think it is.
Red petals on the top and bottom, two yellow petals, one pink and one blue. I was right!
I can't believe he came all the way down to this void to come see me. I really thought he'd stay home. I don't think anyone or anything could possibly understand the pure desperation I feel coursing through my veins. Right alongside the saline they're using to flush my IV of course.
My boyfriend entered my hospital room, #34 I believe, I saw when they rolled me in on the stretcher. Tears well up in my dried eyes, I couldn't feel enough of anything to cry while drugged out of my head but seeing him, well, I need him more than I have ever needed anyone before.
The look on his face when he saw me is one I didn't know he was capable of, pure horror even. I must look horrible stained with my own bile in these itchy hospital scrubs. He is quick to clasp my hand in his and rub along my knuckles and the back of my palm. Through the blurred vision and tears I can't even make him out anymore but I don't need to, I just need his touch. I need it so badly.
I have no depth perception at the moment, or hand eye coordination, and again everything is quite blurry so it was mostly unintentional when I pulled him in by the sweater. He leans into me and wraps his arms under my upper back, holding me against his chest.
He's warm against me, holding me gently in a hospital bed. I can't feel much at all other than the pain, his warmth was the only other sensation I could pin down in my head. It was such a harsh contrast from how I normally see him acting.
With him so close I can't tell where he ends and I begin this time. Even in one of my most painful moments, I feel a familiar comfort in my palpitating heart. He's the only thing keeping me from going entirely mad. He has no idea what I'd give to melt into him right here right now, become an amalgamated abomination of our half hazardly bonded flesh and bone. I'm afraid I'd ruin him and all his perfection with me and all my misshapen and grotesqueness.
I am especially disgusting as of now, making him worry about me like this. Can I not be horrible for just one second? Selfish, that's it. I must be selfish. I take another go at speaking a moment after we pull away. All I can muster is an apology that comes out more like a pathetic stammer through my tears.
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The way his cold gaze met mine shook me. I've never seen real tears stream down his face. He looks so... distraught. Its like he's looking right through me and simultaneously looking directly at me. And on top of everything I've never seen him sign so frantically. He rarely signs at all.
"Please don't be sorry."
"Don't strain your voice."
"Just stay right there, okay? Do you need anything?"
"I'll get you anything, I'd do anything for you."
I knew he cared about me, but I guess I never realized just how much. Or maybe I just forgot. How horrible am I?
Is it possible I'm actually worth something to him? Worth enough for him to call me an ambulance, worth enough for him to comfort me in the hospital bed, worth enough for him to cry over me?
Was I really worth staying with all this time?
My thoughts are interrupted by another round of retching, it seems those knots in my stomach weren't just anxiety. Mr. Plant holds my hand through it. I'm gonna be here a while, I know that. But he's here with me, and from the looks of it he isn't leaving my side anytime soon.
I'll make it out alive, not for myself, just for him. And for the possibility that maybe he needs me just as much as I need him. I wish my mind wasn't so scrambled, so I could find the words to express just how much I love him.
I love you Mr. Plant.
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the-s1lly-corner · 7 months
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Hi I’m new to your blog and I saw that your writing for ADC!(amazing digital circus) and I’d like to request a jax x reader(GN or fem) who is REALLY nice and soft(nice, understanding and helpful)but whenever she’s in her ‘days’ she has really bad mood swings(and really bad cramps) and acts the opposite of how she usually acts (mean,sarcastic and a jerk to everyone) basically How jax would be dealing with that
Ty and have an amazing day!<3
Jax x reader who is having a bad day !
unrelated to the request but for the past like, two or three days ive been bouncing between multiple different interests and i dont. like it.. i think its because im not quite done with my metalocalypse brainrot, and my tadc rot is starting to wane since its just the pilot out now but i dont wanna let go of tadc so soon and grrrrrr so now im sitting here bouncing between fran bow, the owl house, metalocalypse, tadc, and creepypasta, its all so weird and it sucks because i love all those things but i can only focus on one thing at once i hate this anyways mini ramble over, admin is just being silly with their interests because theyre bad at dividing themselves in terms of fandoms if that makes sense
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honestly i think the moment you say something snarky to him hes going to do a double take, to make sure it was actually you who said and not someone else; as well as making sure hes not finally going insane
i think how he goes about it would depend on if the relationship is romantic or platonic... but i think regardless he would carry some annoyance... like sure hes an asshole to everyone and puts everyone in a sour mood a lot of the time but he thinks its funny... but when the same energy is there but unprompted it hits different
dudes just an asshole and messing with people is how he keeps himself sane unfortunately
if this were platonic and you guys werent that close he might just go about the day as usual, i think, doesnt carry much incentive to push through a simple "oh whats wrong", he doesnt strike me as the type of guy to go out of his way to ask how youre doing and what he can do to help... at least not unless hes deeply invested in the relationship
if you two were closer or even in a romantic relationship then he would actually be more likely to do something, like taking you off to the side to separate yourself from the commotion of the rest of the circus
its really only here that he grinds his antics to a halt in order to focus on hearing you out
not much of a comforter, though, i can definitely imagine him kind of stiffening up when someone starts crying around him. awkward "there, there," shoulder pats
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Benny weir wanting to ask reader out?
Hi hi!! I hope this is OK, I'm a little nervous about it and I ended on a cliffhanger because I wasn't sure which direction I wanted to take it in, I struggle a little bit with more general prompts, but I hope I did Benny justice enough!!!
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The bell had just rung for the 4th hour class of the day, the halls were quickly clearing out as Ethan emptied his previous class's books into his locker.
"Benny, just go for it." Ethan ducks his head, turning to Benny while he gesture's towards Y/N. He is tired of watching his best friend stare longingly at the back of their head.
"Absolutely not E! Maybe if I had some sort of love potion or maybe something to make them forget it ever happened. Just in case I get rejected," He turned his head back to Ethan, "I need a plan. In all due time buddy."
The bell rung once again before the halls cleared out entirely, a majority of the student body filing into the cafeteria.
Benny and Ethan sat at the lunch table, awaiting the rest of their usual group. "So, what's your plan Benny?"
Benny looked around quickly, a swift bloom of flowers erupting from his hand. He sat them down on the other side of the table, checking again to make sure that no one has seen him. "I will obviously woo them secretly until they fall in love with me, then I'll reveal myself, and they'll have no choice but to be my partner."
Ethan scoffed, and shaking his head he was about to speak up until Y/N sat their tray down across from them, plopping into the seat, Rory following along. Before they could speak, Rory chimed in, "wowza, where did these come from?" grabbing them, and shoving them into his nose.
"Those are for Y/N actually, the little card thing says so, not sure where they came from."
They chuckled, "are you joking?" They picked up the bouquet, checking the tiny card with the inscription of their name. "From secret admirer, ha. This has to be a joke." A soft blush lit up their cheeks as they rolled their eyes, assuming it was some sort of prank.
"I don't think it is," Ethan took a bite of his sloppy lunch potatoes, watching Benny push his around intensely.
"Anyway, did you guys see that new movie that everyone was hyping up?"
The rest of the night was uneventful, until a few days later, when Y/N opened their locked to a stuffed bear. They were used to smaller tiny surprises, but they seemed to really step up within the next few week. The next time it was chocolates, then answers to a math quiz, and then a letter. A long letter. They were eager to share it with their friends, especially Sarah, who might have an idea on who it is.
Y/N waited by their locker for Sarah, who came by a few minutes before the first bell. "Oh my gods, Sarah, read this. I've been getting these presents from a "secret admirer" for a few weeks now, but this is the best one yet."
"I noticed, those flowers you had the other day were gorgeous. I was kinda jealous," she chuckled and started reading, mumbling to herself as she scanned the page. "Wow."
"I can't tell if it's an elaborate prank or not, it's kind of sweet." Y/N shrugged, avoiding Sarah's eyes as she looked up.
"This seems really heartfelt. I bet it's from Benny. 'I want to play Knights Of Ninjitsu IV with you for hours, I want to kick your butt, then let you win.' Who else would write that?"
They chuckled, "god no way it's Benny!"
The bell rung. "Just think about it," Sarah assured as she turned to walk to class. Had these really been from Benny? It would make a little sense, but Benny seemed like he had a type, and that type was not Y/N.
Hours later, they had finally caught Ethan alone. "Is it him, Ethan?" They seemed a little panicked, and he couldn't help but feel bad.
"I can't say who it is. I am forbade." He turned quickly and walked away, almost tumbling over his own footing. The more and more they thought about it, the more sense it made that it would be Benny. But that would be too good to be true.
The small clique had a movie night scheduled for that Sunday evening, and slowly, but surely everyone had arrived. Everyone meaning Ethan, Benny, and Y/N. They had all agreed upon a new movie, normally watching reruns, but tonight's movie seemed a little awkward, Benny had just seen slightly off all night, and for the past few weeks. Ethan ran off to the kitchen, quickly making a few bags of popcorn, the majority of which would be eaten by Benny.
"Oh, I'll go help Ethan!" Benny sprung up, turning on his heel before Y/N grabbed his hand. "I need to ask you something." Benny's breath hitched momentarily, a small blush flooding his face, "of course, what's up?"
"Has it been you?"
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