#adult caring for parents

[otiksimr]

Some Yveltal sketches (curated from my main blog, there's some lore in the tags if you're interested.)

[phoenixcatch7]

Something that always bugs me is that the way fanfic authors have it, there's absolutely nothing between 'beloved son treated and raised precisely the same as the two blood siblings in the blood based ruling lineage' and 'despised and excluded indentured servant psychologically manipulated into having no self worth cut off from any emotional support'. This is, historically, a very, VERY recent binary, as the fostering system outgrows things like orphanages and the idea of the nuclear family is cemented.

There is a whole range of different statuses that exist between those two extremes just in Western society, and more than that outside of what I already know. Wardship, for example. Fostering without adoption. Room and board apprenticeship.

Wwx is older than jc. Him being adopted and legitimised, despite not being jiang, would cause a succession crisis. By rights, as the eldest male (and prodigious and well liked besides) he would be first to inherit in some people's eyes. Being adopted formally in this way would cause those rumours of bastardry madame yu was always banging on about (though I'm never convinced those rumours were as prevalent as she believed). Jfm would lose reputation and status, yzy would take a tremendous hit to her reputation, jc's place as heir would suddenly be cast into uncertainty, coming under intense scrutiny as people suddenly feel as though they had a choice in who to support, and wwx would be forced into a role and potential future he has absolutely no desire for. And by putting him in a position where he could become head of jiang, there's the risk that he might assassinate jc to become the undisputed heir, something impossible if he isn't brought into the family officially. Would wwx ever dream of doing so? No! Not even slightly! But it is a valid fear of the time and culture, jgy just proves that worst case scenario.

Instead of being the child prodigy coming out of nowhere, the son of respected rogue cultivators so generously taken in the jiang and well trained, suddenly he'd be 'proof' of infidelity, both families involved would become scandals, even post-humeously. As jgy and mxy prove, being a bastard is a lower social status than the right hand man of the sect heir, head disciple of a major sect. Now wrapped in gossip and scandal, they would no longer be called the prides of yunmeng.

And then of course that kind of divisive succession would backfire horrendously when lotus pier is burned and jc tries to rebuild the clan while wwx goes demonic cultivator! It would be DISASTROUS for the jiang, jc having lost a lot of his legitimacy and political support, wwx's now filthy reputation being tied even tighter to the clan, reflecting on them so much more. Worst case gossip would be that the jiang as a whole are turning to demonic cultivation. People who wanted wwx for heir would be in a very dangerous position! People who disliked jc as heir would make it even harder for him! Not that the jiangs would/could have predicted the war and the burning of the sect but fr it would have made an already nigh impossible situation even harder and more volatile.

And it's not like wwx is treated purely like a servant! He isn't going round fetching tea and carrying jcs sword and keeping one step behind. He eats every meal with them, he gets pocket money from them, he is openly and pretty universally considered siblings with the other two, and nobody except yzy acts like it's weird, or he's acting above his station for it (though people like the wens and jin aren't above trying to use that 'son of a servant' thing when they're targeting him to get their own way).

Yes, yzy is deeply insecure and blames him, yes during their goodbyes jc gets hugs and wwx gets orders. They're far from perfect. That's the most affection jc ever got from either of them. Jyl got nothing, she wasn't there. Which is pretty representative of her treatment from her parents, ngl. But wwx had support from jc, had sorta paternal support and a safe authority figure in jfm, had maternal support and care from jyl (though she shouldn't have had to, but that's a different conversation). There are actual family servants (yzy's twins) who grew up with her and were trained for it and they act very differently to wwx. For all yzy throws her weight around and jfm is a bit of a doormat, wwx grew up well cared for and well loved.

The fact that the family as a whole was pretty messed up and his part in it made it worse? That's on the family members themselves. His never arriving would not have fixed that family. For wwx, genuinely, there really wasn't anywhere else he could really go once he was orphaned. If he hadn't died on the streets perhaps he could have made it as a civilian working for someone else, dabbling in cultivation because we know him.

The wen and jin would have eaten him alive. The lans? Don't make me laugh. I love a good 'wwx gets betrothed to lwj as teens and he moves to gusu and Fixes Everything' as much as the next person but let's not kid ourselves, canon wwx would have ended up whipped to death or expelled with the way he is. As a visiting disciple he got so many punishments and kicked out not even halfway through the year! Him living there with lwj as adults is due to him 'redeeming' himself through mystery solving and lwj being fully, openly ready to ditch the sect for him. Even then they're constantly on the road night hunting and lwj being the lightning rod of all of wwx's trouble making tendencies (and being 100% down to breaking the rules with him without enacting punishment). They might accept him now but it would not have happened without lwj doing it first (and the juniors all loving him lol).

The nie? Maybe, but that would have left NHS in pretty much the exact same position as jc: inferior second fiddle, unskilled, constantly compared to him. Wwx would be in the exact same position of being pressured to tone himself down and keep his dangerous ideas to himself, and NHS would have double the fear of inevitably losing both his brothers. And of course, the nie aren't exactly as patient and laid back as the jiang sect as a whole, with their hyper aggressive murder resentment swords. The first sign of wwx acting 'outside' of the clans best interests and getting risky and he's going straight down those stairs the same way as jgy.

Tldr: there's more options to raise a kid than full adoption or abused servitude, even today, and though officially adopting wwx would have made everything SO much worse, his other options would not have survived him. He deserved better with the jiangs but frankly so did the blood kids (and the mother and the father). All three were emotionally neglected and adoption would not have fixed that.

This is why I believe that if wwx had been even a day younger than jc everyone would have been so much happier.

[piedpiperart]

I see a lot of posts about Danny seeing Jason and immediately thinking he’s a baby ghost and wanting to adopt him but what if it’s the other way around?

What if Jason sees Danny and is hit with oh my god that’s a baby, who left a baby unattended out on the street?? He needs help, gotta protect him, mine, yeah he’s mine now, I got u lil guy don’t worry

Meanwhile 15 yr old Danny is like um hi?? And promptly gets kidnapped. But he just lets it happen because he’s actually feeling the safest he’s ever felt in his life with this guy, and Danny’s core immediately recognizes Jason as parental figure and just relaxes Danny 100%

Jasons feeling like Danny is a helpless baby while Danny feels safe, protect, calm, safe, relax, and he just lets Jason take him home. Neither are really sure why or what is going on with them but they’re not gonna stop it.

I think it’s because Danny’s own parents kinda suck and any other ghost that he’s interacted with he’s had to fight in some capacity or has been spooked by them. Jason’s the only one who 1) wanted to parent him and 2) has good vibes. Danny’s usually waiting for fights to happen and he’s very stressed. Jason calms him down so much he probably falls asleep before they even get to Jason’s apartment, full trust that Jason will take care of him.

Meanwhile Jason never really connects with his pit side, but really wants to find some way to have a truce. Cue Danny, and both Jason and the Pit turn to protectiveness and so the rage becomes more protection and Jason yk, might be kinda lonely and wanting something to take care of. He was probably thinking about getting a cat and not a kid but he’s not complaining

[kusanagihaku]

niche content but tier list of ghouls as clinicians (any patient-facing healthcare role)

sorry yuri but you'd fail viva

[kihteyu]

While I do agree that Lilith and Amity clearly have a very close bond in the future, I don’t think it would be accurate to throw Lilith into a “mom” role for Amity. Not only does this go back to the whole idea that fandom has no idea what found family is, but Lilith just really isn’t the type to be a parent. Cool aunt for sure, but not a mom. Not every female character needs to become a mother and not every adult-child relationship needs to be parent-child to have meaning.

[idiot-mushroom]

hey have you ever had that moment of when your youngest sibling does a prank on an adult in your house and that adult says horrible things to your baby sibling telling them that they’re an abuser so you step in and tell the adult to quit it only for them to gaslight you into thinking that your a disrespectful brat the next day so you stop talking until someone makes you talk about your feelings in which that person goes to tell the shitty adult to stop being mean only for the shitty adult to say that they’re conspiring against them and that they’re the victim?

me neither bc that would be so super specific and weird and-

[rocker-socks]

I see your Bruce adopts Billy au and raise you Diana adopts Billy while Bruce hovers on the sidelines playing godfather who has the adoption papers ready if something bad happens. Jon also gets this treatment.

[reblogglelog]

Sad Boy Hours: Billy Batson

He's trying so hard to get the screaming adults in the room to just stop screaming at each other and be reasonable.

He is immediately dismissed and storms off, justifiably insulted.

And Billy goes right back to blaming himself, trying to figure out where he went wrong, how he could have fixed things, managed the emotions of the room better--even though he is 100% correct and the adults are absolutely failing, and badly.

"Even if he's wrong...I should respect him." Honey, the thing that's eating at you is the absolute dogshit way they act and then expect you to just accept as normal. These grown-ass heroes should not be hitting each other.

And a degree, honey. Several of them.

He sounds like a teacher trying to get the class to behave and that script keeps failing him. Over and over the adults around him dismiss him for his optimism, ignore his calls for reason. And they're heroes. They're the good guys and they tear into each other regularly and viciously. And Billy is fifteen years old in a room of adults screaming at each other. The team is sometimes down right abusive, and this child is trying to keep them from falling apart.

I worry about him, ya know?

(anyway, thank you for coming to my Sad Boy Hours)

[albino-parakeet]

Jwct Countdown May 12-13 prompt: Favorite duo

Its the night before the campers arrive for their first day at Camp Cretaceous. Dave and Roxie are going over the schedule and activities last minute to make sure the kids' time on the island is perfect. (Rip to that idea)

Haven't seen anyone post anything about these two with this prompt yet, as I write this post, so. Here they are!!!

(@campbenji said we can tag them in the submissions. I hope this is a valid choice, even though it's none of the campers)

[uncanny-tranny]

Part of my experience with abuse is hoping I get a kid like me so I can know how easy it can be to love them, how easy it is to not treat them how I was treated, and breaking that cycle. It was only hard for them to love me as a child because they didn't love me in the first place. They wished for me to know the hate they had, and I refuse to carry their water for them like that. It was never hard to love me.

[solargeist]

for over a week now i keep thinking abt grian and kid xelqua. something abt him taking care of this alternate universe child version of himself. i just stare at the ceiling and my eyes blur

[deconstructthesoup]

Realizing that the reason why Percy Jackson and Supergiant's Hades rank above a lot of other Greek myth adaptations for me is because they acknowledge that Greek mythology is a story about intergenerational trauma and abuse

[halloweeneva]

You die. You’re a child and you die and your God walks away when you ask him why.  You’re fourteen and scared. You’re dead and no one saved you.  This wasn’t supposed to happen to you. Your God promised to protect you. He promised. He didn’t. You get to come back and it is in spite of him. The rules are broken and maybe so are you. You don’t know what to do when all of your faith has been misplaced and the one person who was always always supposed to protect you didn’t. You are a creature of faith and you don’t know how to trust anymore. You fight and you bleed and you’re not alone but you can’t go home.  

The only people who care enough about you to try and save you are also children. You’re all children and you’re dying. The only thing you can do is try. You do. You drag yourself up. Kicking and screaming and clinging by your fingertips. You are broken and bloody and bruised but you are alive and you save yourself. 

You try to start over. You invent a new god. Try to brandish it like a shield but some part of you is still fourteen and small and dead on a cafeteria floor.  Your parents don’t want you anymore. You loved them. You love them. You don’t know how to talk to them. They loved the version of you that died surrounded by strangers. Some part of you is sorry that you didn’t die. That you changed instead.  Maybe you came back wrong. 

You don’t know if your parents would care if you died again. 

You die again. 

You tried so hard and it isn’t fair. You spoke to the universe and it spoke back and it still isn’t enough. You don’t know how to trust anyone to protect you. Every time you try you see your own broken body on the floor.

The place inside you that is supposed to hold your faith has cracked and broken and the sting of betrayal still smarts when you try to touch it.

You die and find God broken and dead and sobbing on the floor. She looks just like you. She is a little too much like you. You reach out to her and she is angry and betrayed and so so familiar. She kills you. You are sixteen and dead. She can’t save you. Maybe you can save her. You come back. Kicking and screaming and crying you drag both of you back to life.

It’s hard. She doesn’t know how to be a god. You don’t know how to be a cleric. You’re both trying. You have to hope it will be enough. You look at her and see yourself and sometimes you can’t fucking stand it. You love her. You need her. She is so fragile you’re fourteen sixteen and can barely hold yourself together let alone somebody else. You don’t have a choice. You need each other. It has to be enough. 

She dies and it’s your fault.

[druidonity2]

You

[sparklecryptid]

I had no patience for people policing other peoples ships before i went to library tech school and library tech school has make me a little bit pissy about the entire thing actually.

[vaguely-concerned]

the parallels between morrigan and the mage warden (especially one who snitched on jowan and so isn't automatically doomed if they stay in the circle) both being unceremoniously kicked out by their parental figures from the isolated nests they've been cooped up in all their lives and sent flailing out into the real world to test their wings. the love that you can read in between the lines there from irving, and even flemeth -- in both cases this is a cause of action taken partly to save their children (from the circle, from the blight, from the isolation and constriction they would be doomed to otherwise), and in both cases it also opens them up to a world of new dangers. (I wonder if irving knows how many grey warden recruits die right off the bat. from his general character I think he might take that chance even if he knew because otherwise the circle is all but inescapable, but from what he says to amell/surana at the time and how set duncan is to keep that particular detail on the down low I feel more on the side of him not being aware.)

irving at least is encouraging and explains the outlines of what he's thinking even in his hurry to get you out the door, flemeth takes the opportunity to get in a few more stabs of emotional abuse haha. but I think my amell looks at morrigan's shock and partial dismay to be sent away with them so abruptly (and despite everything, the sting of it being so easy to do on her mother's part, emotionally) and feels a sympathetic sinking in her stomach. because yeah she knows that feeling too