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fairyhaos · 2 years ago

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How To Fucking Write: a guide by fairyhaos

[masterlist]

this post details:

DIALOGUING INTERESTINGLY

hi gays and gals! the first post on starting and pacing a story did really well, so "how to fucking write" is back, with yet more advice and tips for everyone ^^ please feel free to let me know if there's something you want me talk about, because i'll be more than willing to see if i can help. also a reminder that i have a taglist for this series as well, and please reblog if you find this helpful :)

# - HOW TO DIALOGUE.

.. bullet point one : grammar

okay guys, as a native english speaker, i'll be the first to tell you that this language fucking sucks in terms of its grammar, but when it comes to dialogue, understanding how it works even to some extent will help you branch out and vary the way you write dialogue, which makes it so much more interesting.

with dialogue tags (said, asked, etc) if the punctuation mark in the dialogue is not a ! or ? then it should be a comma.

example : [junhui + castle]

as you can see in the first line, a comma is used rather than a full stop, because the sentence hasn't been finished yet. there's a dialogue tag, ('you correct'), that comes after it. and since the pronoun 'you' isn't a proper noun (i.e. a name) then it shouldn't be capitalised, because, again, the sentence hasn't been finished.

with action tags however, (he smiled, he stood up, etc) then it should be a full stop.

example : [i just made one up bc i don't use this a lot lmao]

"I disagree." He stood up, and walked over to close the door. "This isn't safe. You shouldn't go alone."

and now, since there is a full stop, it indicates that the speech is a sentence all by itself. that means the next word ('He') ought to be capitalised.

but the key part when grammar-ing dialogue in order to make it interesting depends on where you put the action and grammar tags.

if you constantly have lines that are just:

"dialogue," he said.

"dialogue," she said.

"dialogue but a bit longer," he said.

... then it can get repetitive, and annoying. by varying your dialogue structure, it can create more interesting dialogue.

example : [minghao + password]

there's a variety of dialogue and action tags being used with each line of dialogue, preventing everything from sounding too repetitive.

the first line starts with a normal sentence, and an action tag. the second is a standalone line of dialogue with no tags. the second has the action tag in the middle of the dialogue. and the last has a dialogue tag in the middle of the dialogue.

by varying the ways in which you write your dialogue, it makes everything a lot more interesting.

.. bullet point two : verbs and adverbs

the easiest way to make dialogue interesting, though, is to use fancy words.

this can be by replacing 'said' with a range of other dialogue tags (see this really comprehensive list for a whole variety of different words), but i'd advise against overusing these. 'said' is your friend! it's the invisible dialogue tag, helps your reader read through your dialogue in comfort, but of course, if you wanna add a nuanced way of describing the dialogue, then replacing 'said' is the easiest way to make your dialogue interesting.

but don't overuse these. for me, i'd focus on action tags and adverbs.

use interesting adverbs that add description to how a character is saying something can go miles. and using action tags that break through what could have been a long section of characters just talking? it helps so much.

i'd recommend having onelook thesaurus open as you write. you don't have to type in just words: phrases, the overall vibes of the word you're thinking of, all of that can be typed into the thesaurus and they'll provide you with pretty good results each time.

it also really helps when you've forgotten a word and can only remember vague bits of what the word should feel like.

.. bullet point three : voices

the best way, however, is ultimately to create a character. write a personality for them, bring them to life, think about the way in which they would talk and then put that down onto paper.

it's difficult, perhaps the most difficult to do, because it's also so tricky to advise someone on how to do this. it's all about the character you want to create, the personality you envision for them, and the only person who can fully write that is you.

however, i would find a few 'ticks' of theirs and use them as indicators in your writing.

for example, in my seoksoo long fic, seokmin's tick is that he always "chirps" what he's saying. and beams. a lot. this identifies his character, makes him unique(ish), and establishes his personality and differs him to the other characters.

but ultimately, it comes down to word choices, when you're writing a character voice.

like, your character describing something with elegant, floral language vs them going "this is so pretty". or perhaps making them stumble over their words when they're panicked vs them simply just going silent when they're flustered.

it's about being specific. about making choices with your words that would have english teachers analyse and unpick your writing, hundreds of years later.

(even if it's fanfic. especially if it's fanfic: because who knows how many fans may join your fandom in the next few years?)

... and that's it ! if anyone has anything else they want advice on (how to structure, how to write dialogue, how to plan etc) then just shoot me an ask, because i'd love to help however i can :)

tagging (comment/send ask to be added!): @selenicives @stqrrgirle @weird-bookworm @eternalgyu @blue-jisungs (tough luck guys btw but youre gonna be tagged in this entire series ehehehe)

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dedalvs · 11 months ago

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ive done a lot of translating to high valyrian in my day and id like to think im pretty good at it sometimes (the way ive spent literal hours researching how just one piece of grammar works to change a noun to an adverb or something is maybe insane)

anyway all that to say i usually know what to look for and how to apply it, but i am struggling with this new bit im trying to translate. “i disdain all glittering gold.”

ive replaced disdain with hate cause there doesnt seem to be a word for disdain in valyrian and hate is the closest approximation. same with glittering — replaced that with shine, and had to manually transform that to an adjective (jehikagon -> jehikere? dunno if its right)

so what i have now is “nyke buqan unir jehikere aeksion”

(im not as concerned with getting the word order right as i am with the rest of the grammar)

ive learned from a previous answer “nyke” is potentially (probably) unnecessary here, so that leaves it as “buqan unir jehikere aeksion,” but the unir there in the middle kinda makes it feel off and im not sure if maybe that also needs to be part of a compound word like valar or how to make it one if so because idk what part of valar is all and what part is men and how to fit aeksion into that equation.

i lost track of what my question was originally meant to be but i guess im wondering if im on the right track and if theres some guidance you may have to get me all the way there.

thank you for your time 🙏

Uhhhhhh... Not to be that dude, but...maybe be more concerned with that...?

I'm not sure if you know about this site, but my wiki is exhaustively updated with respect to High Valyrian, specifically. There's a team of people that work on High Valyrian and it's massive. For example, you could go to the entry for jehikagon and see that jehikere is wrong: it should be jehikare. And, of course, it has to agree with āeksion (note the long ā), so it should be jehikarior. To get the sense of repetitiveness (with "glittering"), you might add ā- to the front, so ājehikarior.

Now for "all", why not use the collective? This is how you get "All men must die", so it should work for "I distain all glittering gold". That would be āeksior. Of course, it would need to be in the accusative, so altogether it would be ājehikarior āeksȳndi. By adding the repetitive you kind of get the aliteration, too, since they both begin with ā.

Finally you have "disdain", for which buqagon serves. Aside from sound a little more posh, the difference between "disdain" and "hate" in English seems to be one of duration. The words "disdain" and "loathe" seem to emphasize that this is a character trait rather than a reaction. If you disdain something, you've given it some thought, have experience with it, and may use this as a way of describing or characterizing yourself. You can do this with "hate" as well, but it's a much more common word, and so can be used in other more basic ways, whereas "disdain" and "loathe" tend to only have specalized uses. To try to approximate this, you could use the frequentative with buqagon to imply a lengthy duration. That would give you jobuqan "I disdain". In fact, you could even use the aorist if you really wanted to imply that it was a description of yourself, i.e. jobuqin.

Now that you have the pieces, though, I really hate to say it, but the words must be in the right order. I mean, you can change the order of the noun and adjective, if you'd like, but you simply cannot put the verb first and think you've created a Valyrian sentence. It's not just "kind of" wrong: it's completely wrong. It'd be like suggesting "I him saw" is close enough in English because the forms are correct. It's not. It's wrong. This is not a minor part of the grammar you can ignore. High Valyrian is aggressively verb-final. The verb must be at the end.

All in all, that gives you:

Ājehikarior āeksȳndi jobuqin.

Hope that helps!

#conlang #language #valyrian #high valyrian #grammar

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pinazee · 6 months ago

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Disco didn’t die. it was murdered!

Psych is one of the best at doing these themed episodes. They change the camera work, the lighting, the background theme, and even the outfits. Like, they go all out and its always fun :)

Look at this smug bastard. I don’t mind arrogance, but i do mind the fake modesty. It made me roll my eyes haha

Now to settle my own curiosity, i looked into all the things shawn and gus point out about the chiefs phrases and grammar.

“I could care less” and “i couldn’t care less” are used interchangeably though english scholars will say the latter is the correct phrase and should be used formally.

“Goes without saying” was originally a french term ça va sans dire and my understanding of it is that it meant more like “absolutely” or “of course” where the English equivalent is more like “obviously”. Either way we can blame the french for this one haha

The chief did in fact split an infinitive when she said “why don’t you tell me how to properly say this-“ Splitting an infinitive is when you put an adverb between to- and a verb. Such as to boldly go, to casually walk, or to gently push. Whether or not its proper english is debated i believe. But if you ask me, it wouldn’t sound right to have Kirk say to go boldly. Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Heres a Phil collins/ corbin bersen side by side

Also, obviously the chief never should have put shawn on the case. Not only because henry is his dad, but also because he’s a “psychic” and i would think if they were trying to get a solid legal case against him, they wouldn’t use mr.woowoo. But again, its a cable show so we ignore this haha (but also no way they won that in court?? It was circumstantial at best)

“It was the 70’s, we did what we had to do but only when we knew we had the right guy.” Henry…is kind of a hypocrite? Like hes all about following the rules and especially the law but also thinks it was okay for him to do it because he had a good reason. Okay, maybe to give him a little more credit than that, the fact that hes so nervous and touchy about it (fiddling with the key, shouting at gus) is because he knew the search warrant was bogus and screwed up, but his pride prevents him from owning it outright. So, i like that it ends with Henry thanking Shawn for essentially fixing his mistake. I’ve been kinda iffy on henry this whole rewatch so far, and how he is with shawn aside, i at least know its more important for him to get the right guy (or at least be right) than it is to get a bust for the sake of his ego. Though, now that i think about it, thats really the bare minimum to be a cop so…

Ive said it before, but i like that the difference between shawns tactics and his fathers in getting information from people is that henry will bust through or even intimidate, while Shawn makes them feel good about themselves and in some cases like theyre a part of the team. There’s an argument that shawns way is more manipulative, and i think if we didn’t know him as a person it might come across that way, but instead it comes across as him just making friends with everyone he meets.

Gus thinking his story ends with a wrongful conviction explains him freaking out so much in season 7’s ep Office Space. Theres also a commentary there about this being a genuine fear in the black community which makes me very sad at the state of my country.

NATIONAL TREASURE IS A NATIONAL TREASURE GUS

Now, about shawn spending all their money on the car- i am of the belief that he did it on purpose either to be a stinker or to make it more challenging, or maybe I’m in denial that negotiating is not in his skill set considering he’s ridiculously good at so many other things haha

I just wanted to put their clue spotting side by side because i like that their similar and different at the same time :)

Incidentally my filipino coworkers reacted the same way when i told them my mom called my pookie, to which they explained (after laughing) that a “puki” was ahem, vagina in tagalog. Language is fun :)

This is going to sound weird but this is the first ep that juliet and lassie felt like actual partners. It just feels like their on the same level finally, and that level being a dick to mcnab for no reason haha. But im glad karma hit back real quick for them (also, their treatment from the coast guard was a preview for the next ep, though i would think they’d have met chief vicks sis in the process)

Who cuts a cucumber like this? Its one of the easiest vegetables to cut. I dont know why this bothers me so much haha

I could hash out the henry and shawn argument, but as Gus pointed out, they have this same argument pretty frequently. So i think, yeah, im just going to store it for later.

Okay, correction from my post on Daredevils!, this was the dumbest thing he ever did. He risked so many peoples lives like wtf?? And i was about to say shawn wouldn’t do that unless he had a trick up his sleeve because he did know how to turn it on, but then when no one is looking he is genuinely relieved it worked so he really didn’t think it through and im so disappointed in him. Bad psychic.

P.S

Dulé!

#i guess i technically can put rudimentary bomb knowledge on shawns list of skills??#they got jere burns which is neat #psych #psych rewatch #psych tv #shawn and gus #shawn spencer #burton guster #forgive me for the format of this one my own adhd left my thoughts scattered haha

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ihavedonenothingright · 9 months ago

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Captive Prince: Historical References and Naming Conventions

Hi all! I've had this idea in my head for a while now, and I finally had some time (and an Ancient Greek dictionary), so I figured I'd give it a shot. I've always been fascinated by Pacat's worldbuilding, particularly the naming conventions, and as a classicist myself, I wanted to dissect them. So that's what this is. My focus is mainly going to be on Akielos since I don't have as in-depth a knowledge of French, but I'll go through some Veretian names too (je n'ai pas étudié le français depuis deux années, mais Arles… je voudrais parler d'Arles…)

I'm not approaching this with any kind of formal, academic structure, so if something wonky gets through, please let me know! And lastly, I have no idea how many of these are intentional on Pacat's part. This analysis is less about authorial intent and more about how the associations inherent in these names can lend to our interpretation of the work. I'll also be doing this analysis over a few different posts since there is a lot I want to cover. For post #1:

Country Names

This post will solely feature Vere and Akielos since that's already a lot, but I will tackle Patras et. al. later on. There's some very interesting stuff there that I would be remiss not to look at. Of our subjects for today, Vere is the simpler, and the one I am absolutely certain Pacat intended, so I'll start with it.

Vere

Disclaimer: I am in love with this choice. The word itself is actually a Classical Latin adverb derived from the adjective "vērus," meaning "true," and in Latin it's spelled "vērē" (though you will not see those macrons in extant texts, those are a modern pronunciation and differentiation aid). Vērē can be translated a handful of ways; often it's used for emphasis, and in that case it's usually translated as "indeed," but "truly," "rightly," "exactly," and "truthfully" all work in different contexts. Extrapolate vērus and its derivatives for around a thousand years and you get the Old French word "verai" (ouah c'est vrai !) which means, well, "true."

It's also close in spelling and pronunciation to the modern French "verre," which means "glass," which isn't entirely relevant, but is cool. It makes me think of shiny, fragile displays of opulence like the Galerie des Glaces in Versailles.

The first reason I really like this name is that it calls back to Artes, the Roman-inspired kingdom that we're told once encompassed all of Vere and Akielos, while still fitting current Veretian (aka half-old-half-modern French) grammar and pronunciation. The second is, naturally, that it fits so well into the series' themes of truth, deception, and verisimilitude. The second we're introduced to Vere, and by extension Laurent, there's a subtle hint there that both he and his country are, at their core, more real, genuine, and truthful than Damen and Akielos. We're already building towards Damen's Kings Rising line, "I have never known a truer man." Even if you don't recognize the Latin, your brain will make the connection between Vere and verisimilitude later. It's perfect, 10/10 Pacat, could not have done it better.

And just for fun: a Latin example!

Commentarii de Bello Civili, 2:27. Latin and English available here.

Hi, sive vere quam habuerant opinionem ad eum perferunt, sive etiam auribus Vari serviunt…

Loeb Translation: "Whether they convey to him the opinion that they really held, or whether they only flatter his ears…" (165)

Slightly more literal translation (by me): "Whether these ones truly convey to him the opinion as they held it, or rather are subservient to Varius' ears…"

Akielos

The name "Akielos" is a lot more… nebulous. I don't know if there is a Greek print of Captive Prince, but my guess is it would be spelled Άκιελος (modern Greek speakers please weigh in, I'm only a year or so into Ancient Greek so I haven't really touched accent marks). That doesn't map neatly to any modern or ancient greek word—at least that I know of. What is does remind me of is Ἀχιλῆος (Achileos) from Ἀχιλλεύς (Achilleus), aka, Achilles. They're so close that I actually realized lately I had unconsciously been pronouncing Akielos as "Akileos" for a while; and in fact, this makes the Veretian spelling "Achelos" make a bit more sense. English and French both use a hard "ch" to represent χ in Greek words; so I imagine, in universe, that the word might actually be spelled Άχιελος. It wouldn't even surprise me if this was the way Pacat originally wanted to spell it, but had to change it for ease of comprehension.

I did have some other interpretations of the name, but I think this is the strongest. Because in addition to the obvious association, the name Ἀχιλλεύς is thought to be derived from the words ἄχος, "distress/grief" and λαός, "people," making it either "the grief" or "grief of/to the people" depending on who you ask (you rely on cases for that sort of distinction in Greek and they're not exactly present here. iykyk).

I really like the idea of Akielos being associated with grief; we're first introduced to it as a country in mourning, and then later on, as the cause of grief in Delfeur. And then you have the association with Achilles, himself a prolific brother killer, who Pacat references later in 'The Fall of Inachtos,' our in-universe Iliad. Insane levels of grief on grief on grief. Plus, because it looks closer to the genitive form, I automatically associate it with the opening line of the Iliad:

μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος

menin aeide thea Peleiadeo Achileos

Sing, goddess, the anger of Achilles, Peleus' son

So we can throw a little rage into the equation. As a treat.

Also important to note that the -os there is a masculine ending. It doesn't have the most bearing, but it does mean that if we want to be strictly accurate to Ancient (and modern!) Greek grammar, I have to throw a quick article in front of it, making our final "how do the Akielons spell Akielos?" answer: ὁ Άχιελος ("ho Achielos"). The ὁ here is equivalent to le in French, with the major distinction being that in French, you don't typically need an article in front of a proper noun, whereas you do in Greek.

That's it for today's analysis! See you guys next time around for Patras, Artes, and (maybe) Arles, Ios, and Delfeur/Delpha.

Part 2 >>

#captive prince #capri #language stuff #latin #greek #dex rambles #to spoil the patras discussion a bit... i'm gonna be talking about the latin word patronus and its place in ancient systems of slavery #but i'll also touch on some other possible inspirations because i don't think that's the only valid interpretation

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languagestudymaterials · 5 months ago

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～まま grammar

～まま roughly translates to 'as it is' or 'in the state of,' but it covers a wide range of situations that are not always easily understood or directly translatable.

Context: Levi to himself in episode 2 (or 39), season 3. The legendary chase scene with Kenny. Levi just 'entered' the drinking establishment and said:

クソこのままじゃ部下もエレ��もヒストリアも失う

Shit. If it goes on like this, I'll lose my men, Eren, and Historia, too.

部下 (ぶか) = subordinates (men)

失う (しなう) = to lose (people) (to lose a thing is 無くす (なくす))

Note: The English translation is a conditional sentence. Where is ～たら、～なら、～ば、～と in Japanese? It’s well hidden!

このままじゃ = If it goes on like this

じゃ (colloquial style) ・では (formal style)

However, some people say that this little じゃ means だと/ だとしたら and that’s where the conditional meaning is hidden.

で refers to states; more here Conditional sentences are here

But today’s grammar is ～まま.

I already made a short post about it. Check it out too!

When I asked my Japanese conversation partners what it meant, they always said, 'As it is.' Well, that sounds simple, but that’s only one way to think about it.

"As it is" has three meanings in English:

already

the way it is

with the situation that exists now

While you can use ‘as it is’ in your translation, I feel that in some contexts, it’s better to be more precise with your word choice or to make English sound natural.

～まま grammar

There’s no 1:1 translation. It’s better to learn it as a concept conveying:

States that can stay unchanged; remain in the same condition/state; e.g. I’m sitting and there’s no need to stand up.

～まま is used for static states, often contrasting with actions.

If something hasn’t changed for a while, we can use this structure as well; e.g. She has been like this since yesterday (like this = in a certain state).

You can also use it to express your current state/condition; e.g. I’m weak. My current state/condition is 'being weak.'

Like this/that = doing things in a certain manner.

At this rate = used to say what will happen if the present situation continues.

That’s basically it.

So, what is Levi really saying?

この refers to Kenny killing Levi’s people and basically f*cking everyone's shit up.

まま refers to the fact that Kenny has been killing Levi's people for a good amount of time. It hasn’t changed from the start of the episode until the moment Levi uttered the sentence.

このままじゃ = If the state of Kenny (and Kenny's team) killing my people will continue…

In the post with Akaza and Rengoku,

死んでくれ、Kyojuro、若くて強いまま

Akaza is asking Rengoku to die while his state is 'being young' and strong or to die to remain in this young and strong state.

Grammar mechanics

It’s a noun/adverb

noun + の + まま

adjective + まま (don’t remove な from な-adj or い from い-adj)

demonstrative pronouns この; その; あの + まま

verbs + まま (past tense is very common in this case. Verbs in the past tense can act like adjectives; e.g. written language; 'written' is the past participle of 'write' and it acts like an adjective and adjectives = states.）

some passive forms + まま; e.g 言われるまま = as I am told (my current state is that I know some information, someone has told me something, my state is 'being informed/told')

ない verbs + まま = without

Note 1: なし can’t be used interchangeably with まま. なし (without) doesn’t refer to “being in a certain state. It refers to people, objects, or emotions. You want these things out of your life completely. Note 2: ～まま and ～ながら might seem similar, but ～ながら is used for action/dynamic verbs. Note 3: ～ままにする = to leave something untouched; to remain intact

Examples

The theory for this grammar isn't difficult to understand, but when it comes to real-life application, that's when the struggle starts.

Let's examine examples to get the hang of ～まま.

進撃の巨人

Context: Berthold to Reiner in season 3, episode 15 (or 52).

もしそうなれば何も分からないままだ

If that happens, we won’t learn anything.

Eren is carrying the boulder to seal the wall. He might get eaten by the other titans. Without Eren Reiner and Berthold won’t obtain any information.

ないままだ = negative verb form + まま = without knowing (their state will be 'uninformed')

Lit. We will be left in an uninformed condition if that happens (if Eren gets eaten)

もしそうなれば = conditional form

Context: Marlo to Hitch while looking for Levi who has just been pronounced a traitor (season 3, episode 4). They are discussing the future of the Survey Corps and the current situation.

調査兵団がこのまま解体されたら人類は…

If the Survey Corps gets disbanded like this, humanity won’t...

調査 (ちょうさ) 兵団 (へいだん) = Survey Corps

解体 (かいたい) = disband; disassemble [suru verb; here: passive form + conditional]

人類 (じんるい) = mankind; humanity

このまま is totally absent from the translation; however, it means 'in the current situation.' If you analyze the context in which this sentence has been said, it makes sense why Marlo said it.

In English, though, it seems unnecessary to say out loud: 'if this situation continues.'

We all know they are in a bad position. We can infer it from the context. However, 'like this' seems to capture the nuance of このまま.

Leaving out このまま would, probably, sound like a plain statement; an action that has no relation to current events. Some things are obvious to us (in English); some things have to be articulated in Japanese.

Marlo is literally saying: If the current situation continues, Survey Corps will get disbanded, and humanity will…

At this point in the anime, Erwin has made a lot of risky decisions and that lowered the reputation of his squad.

そのままの姿勢で指示どおりに動く

Context: Marlo to Armin seconds before Levi and Mikasa ambushed Marlo and Hitch.

Stay in the same position and move as instructed.

姿勢 (しせい) = posture; pose; position [noun]

どおり = in accordance with; following [used as a suffix]

指示 (しじ) = instructions; directions

動く(うごく) = to move

そのまま + の + noun = the [noun] remains as you see it; just the way it is/was; you are/were; just like that

そのまま refers to Armin’s position. He wasn’t holding any gun and had his hands up. Marlo wanted him to stay in that position.

Up next are examples from Naruto:

それから気を失ってずっと　このまま…

Context: Sakura about Tsunade who used all her chakra to protect the village during Pain’s attack. She was unconscious.

She has lost her consciousness and has been like that since then…

このまま refers to Tsunade’s state. Unconscious state that remained unchanged for a while.

'Like that' = doing things in a certain manner = she was laying down unconscious.

That’s another example of when このまま refers to an action you need to see to get a better understanding.

From a different episode:

火影が逃げたままじゃぜ。

Context: Oonoki at the 5 kage summit. Sasuke showed up and wanted to act cool but he failed. Obito saved his uncool ass and then disappeared. All the Kages were discussing what to do with the situation. Oonoki mentioned Hokage who was still on the run.

Hokage is still running away.

逃げる (にげる) = run away

じゃ means だ・です・である when it is placed at the end of a sentence.

ぜ and ぞ are sentence-final particles used (primarily) by male speakers which are more colloquial versions of the particle よ.

Past tense + まま = the verb happened and that hasn’t changed. Danzou ran away and at the moment of speaking, he was still running away.

Remember that past-form verbs act like adjectives. まま is a noun so the verb 逃げた describes/modifies the noun. Danzou is in 'a ran-away state.'

Zetsu vs. Madara

かつて Kaguya はこの無限月読を人々にかけたが殺さずに生かしたまま保存しておいた

Context: Zetsu while killing Madara and explaining the biggest plot twist ever.

Once, Kaguya cast Mugen Tsukuyomi on people, but she didn't kill them, she kept them alive.

かつて once

生かす (いかす) = to let live; to keep alive

保存 (ほぞん) = preservation; conservation; storage; maintenance [suru verb; here in ～ておく form which means to do/prepare something (for yourself or for other people) in advance for future convenience]

殺さずに (ころさずに) = without killing

ずに vs. なし vs. まま

ずに means ‘without,’ but it can only be used with verbs. You can’t replace it with まま because it doesn’t imply that the speaker will stay in a certain state. Single actions. なし means ‘without’ as well, but it refers to people, objects, or emotions.

Past tense + まま = the verb happened and the action of that verb continued. So, letting them stay alive continued for a while. Lit. For future convenience, she stored them in a living state.

僕のヒーローアカデミア

Context: Todoroki while fighting Stain. He’s analyzing the situation.

俺なら距離を保ったまま…

It'd be better to keep my distance...

俺なら = When it comes to me/Since it’s me [and my fighting style]… It would be better to keep my distance.

保つ (たもつ) = to keep; to preserve; to hold; to retain; to maintain; to sustain

距離 (きょり ) = distance

past tense + まま = it’s better to be in a state of staying away (clumsy!)

One more example from the same episode:

Context: Endeavour about Nomu. He used some sick move on Nomu, and it survived the blow which surprised Enji.

意識を保ったままでいられるのは初めてだな

That's the first time someone has been able to stay conscious.

保つ (ともつ) = to keep; to preserve

意識 (いしき ) = consciousness

past tense + まま = the verb happened. Nomu kept its consciousness and didn’t lose it when Enji was speaking. Nomu is in the state of being conscious.

で refers to states as well. I feel like まま +で is a common combination when we want to add more after まま.

More on で is here

And the conversation continues:

(Gojo) 硝子悪いが記録上悠仁 (Yuuji) は死んだままにしてくれ

Shōko, sorry, but Yuji needs to stay dead in the report.

このままで = Gojo says that the state of the report having Itadori marked as dead is fine.

死んだままにしてくれ = past tense + まま＋にする = leave the record which is in the state of having Yuuji marked as dead intact.

～てくれ = to do a favor.

Context: Yuuji to Gojo in the basement (episode 6). He’s ok with staying hidden for a while because he can’t face Fushiguro and Kugisaki in his current state.

今のままじゃあいつらに顔向けできねえよ

今のまま = in my current state… He thinks he’s weak and needs to gain more power to protect his friends.

～まま can be challenging because of its nuanced usage and context-dependent meaning, however, I hope these examples helped you understand the logic behind this grammar structure a bit better.

#japanese with anime #toc #まま #～まま grammar

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sumerianlanguage · 1 year ago

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Hello! I was wondering if you had any advice for writing a song in Sumerian? I have been writing lyrics for a bit and I have always been interested in ancient languages so I wanted to know how I should get started. I have some ideas swirling around in my mind as the music I have been writing is very soulful.

Hello! What an interesting question - I haven't done any songwriting in Sumerian myself, but I have practiced by translating modern songs into Sumerian, which I think gives a little insight. On my twitch stream we once translated Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen - a song that is not written for easy translation, it turns out! But it taught me many things about the interaction between Sumerian phonology/grammar and lyrical composition.

One thing I've learned is that sentences in Sumerian often use fewer words but more syllables to convey the same information. "I'd trade my soul for a wish" is seven syllables, but it's nearly impossible to convey the same meaning in Sumerian in less than nine: Zinga ashta shu gabalan. So if you write music with a strict syllable plan, prepare to convey less information per line; or to convey the same amount of info, prepare to sing "faster" (i.e. cram more syllables into a line).

Another important issue is that Sumerian sentences always end with a verb. This makes rhyming a different experience than in English - rather than having two "impact nouns" rhyme at the end of the sentence, common in many music genres, you instead have to rhyme the verbs, and often the verb conjugations. (Here's a post about how this functions in Sumerian poetry - I've linked the in-tumblr version since the on-blog version seems to be rendering out of order, and will also reblog it after this post.) Creative liberty with concept structuring can help: "You took your time with the call / I took no time with the fall" is most easily translated by making call and fall function as verbs: Ullabi gu numaden / Annga ullabi shuben "You didn't call me quickly / But I fell quickly", still a slant rhyme but helped by the fact that the first and second person conjugations ("you called", "I fell") often look identical.

Note that we can't rhyme ullabi "quickly" with the second ullabi since they're adverbs and can't end the sentence or clause. Though in my translation of the chorus, I use namga "perhaps" as almost a final exclamation in order to pull it out of the sentence and slant-rhyme with annga "however": Uda muraten / tumidim, annga / shidngu murabban / gu hemaden, namga "I met you today / a wild act, however / I give my number to you. / Call out to me, perhaps!" (Another really useful word in translating pop music is gana "let's go!" or "yeah!", which is an interjection and thus can stand separate from any clause like this.)

And one final tip: Keep your sentences simple! This is both because of the verb-final structure - Sumerian sentences don't "trail off" in the same way they do in English - and because English loves to use helping verbs, weird time-clauses, etc. that you rarely find in Sumerian. One long, languid English sentence is often best matched by several shorter, choppier Sumerian sentences. It's really hard to convey the combo of time-sequence and counterfactual in the phrase "before you came into my life, I missed you so bad", unless you're willing to spend a whole verse of the song to do so, so I ended up just simplifying it to Zae namtila ekur / Ngae namurashen "You entered my life / I wished for you a lot".

I hope that's helpful! Do check out my Sumerian music tag for more, including examples of actual ancient Sumerian lyrics (not to say "Call Me Maybe" isn't timeless and eternal in its own right). And let me know if you have further questions or any translation I can help with!

#replies #sumerian music #my translation #carly rae jepsen #sumerian grammar #sumerian phonology

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astraerystarr · 2 years ago

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Fanfiction help, tips, prompts and ideas

I know how frustrating it is to come here looking for actual advice and the only things you find are inspirational posts that just repeat the same "you can do it" message over and over. So I compiled all the wonderful tips and advice I've seen so far. These posts here have saved me a million times already.

Dialogue

Dialogue Prompts, tips, ideas, everything ->

Dialogue tags, sentence structure, adverbs, etc

(these tips are great for those writing their own books and for those writing fics too)

https://www.tumblr.com/dynamicsymmetry/178394340566/good-stuff-guys-i-edit-professionally-this-list?source=share

20 Flirty Remarks to Build Romantic Tension Without Being Overbearing

https://www.tumblr.com/hayatheauthor/765324203055546368/20-flirty-remarks-to-build-romantic-tension?source=share

Angst, Fluff, Smut, Bittersweet:

https://heartofwritiing.tumblr.com/post/703589142626484224

Things Real People Do in Dialogue

https://www.tumblr.com/s-soulwriter/764437752082300928/things-real-people-do-in-dialogue-for-your-next?source=share

dumplingsjinson's dialogue prompts

(They're great and with so many different dynamics):

https://listography.com/dumplingsjinson?m=0580652416

Help with Sentence Structure

I know that feeling when you see your writing and notice how bleak and repetitive it is. These posts can help you <3

A few special rules for dialogue punctuation, paragraphing, and grammar

(Rules you can and should break after learning the basics. Play with those rules to find your style)

https://www.reddit.com/r/FanFiction/comments/15zni42/a_few_special_rules_for_dialogue_punctuation/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

How to make your writing more eloquent

https://pens-swords-stuff.tumblr.com/post/181631690061/how-can-i-make-my-writing-sound-more-eloquent-and

How to know if you're telling too much and what to do

https://www.tumblr.com/iselsis/655030320745332736/writing-tip?source=share

Sentence Structure

(Really useful if you're struggling with making more varied sentences)

https://how-to-fanfic.livejournal.com/4861.html

One Look Thesaurus

If you're having that horrible brain fog moment and can't remember that one word, this can help you!! This saved my hair from being ripped off a lot of times

Tips of all types: pacing/formatting, etc

Read this, it's worth it, I promise

Filter words, words that distance the reader from the writing:

https://www.tumblr.com/daily-writing-tips/174033348563/are-these-filter-words-weakening-your-story?source=share

When nothing is happening in your story or things are going too slow:

https://www.tumblr.com/daily-writing-tips/178617903283/ive-been-writing-a-book-and-the-feedback-ive?source=share

A great discussion about epithets:

https://www.tumblr.com/daily-writing-tips/639487272174141440/undertailsoulsex-cimness?source=share

Abandoning your outline or letting it grow:

https://www.tumblr.com/daily-writing-tips/186443325965/first-of-all-i-love-your-writing-so-much-and-i?source=share

Describing emotions internally and externally:

https://lets-get-fictional.tumblr.com/post/171248036936/resources-for-describing-emotion

General writing tips for structure, formatting etc:

https://www.tumblr.com/kindredcandy/691030138594426880/writing-tips-for-fanfic-writers-a-post-by-someone?source=share

Tips on writing characters without faces:

Masterlists/Masterposts

Writing Help Masterlist!

https://www.tumblr.com/kurlyfrasier/748573570709504000/need-help-writing-a-masterlist?source=share

agirlnamedjana's master dialogues/scenes/dynamics prompt list:

https://creativepromptsforwriting.tumblr.com/post/642950535717224448/master-prompt-list

And also her masterpost on how to write/motivation/tips:

https://creativepromptsforwriting.tumblr.com/post/633943514155253760/masterpost-how-to-write-a-story

+ Writing Resource masterlist:

https://lets-get-fictional.tumblr.com/post/146261106991/writing-resources-masterlist

Body Language

The Emotion Thesaurus (and all the other ones covering bad traits, settings and more)

Not everyone has the money to buy the book, so I'm going to link down here the place where you can buy it, but if you can't, just look up 'Emotion Thesaurus PDF download' on Google and you can download it for free. I recommend searching for it on VK, it comes with all the other Thesaurus(ses?) too. It's really helpful, especially the examples at the beginning and the notes after each section!

https://www.amazon.com.br/Emotion-Thesaurus-Writers-Character-Expression/dp/1475004958

Other Words for "Look" + Meanings | List for writers

https://www.tumblr.com/thewriteadviceforwriters/768981064455766016/other-words-for-look-with-meanings-list-for?source=share

Words to describe voices

https://www.tumblr.com/saraswritingtipps/731091220088127488/some-tips-for-using-a-few-words-to-describe?source=share

Writing descriptions

(Voice tone, facial expressions, etc)

https://www.tumblr.com/thewatcher727/751571479667326976/writing-description-notes?source=share

How to show emotions instead of telling them

https://www.tumblr.com/creativepromptsforwriting/689038358087860224/how-to-show?source=share

Body language basics

(Smiles, eyebrows, head positions)

https://lets-get-fictional.tumblr.com/post/146030452463/writing-tip-june-6th

List of body language phrases

(Positions, reactions, movements like "he arched his back") divided by body parts:

https://lets-get-fictional.tumblr.com/post/153224282966/writing-tip-june-4th

Body Language sheet

Body Language Master List - Google Sheets

Said — use it, don't use it, alternatives and tips

These alternatives can also help you come up with new ideas for the feelings/reactions of your character ->

Words to replace "said" and some tips

Caitlin McDonald - Words to replace said, except this actually helps (tumblr.com)

Alternatives to "whisper" (except with actual useful tips under those alternatives)

the dextrous, the sinister. — Word List: Alternatives to "Whisper" (tumblr.com)

Words to use instead of “said” organized by emotion/intention part 1&2

https://www.tumblr.com/damselwrites/136952662989/words-to-use-instead-of-said-organized-by?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/damselwrites/173814509709/words-to-use-instead-of-said-organized-by?source=share

When to include physical gestures, actions, and facial expressions & how often to say he/she said/yelled/whined, etc

https://tmblr.co/ZEsmmh2Ht2qO7

Fights and Battles

Writing Angry Scenes: Tips to Avoid Melodrama and Make It Real

https://www.tumblr.com/imastoryteller/767056808210743296/writing-angry-scenes-tips-to-avoid-melodrama-and?source=share

What getting punched feels like in different parts of the body

https://www.tumblr.com/obaewankenope/771301215754747904/it-also-depends-on-how-youre-punched-too-like?source=share

Writing realistic injuries

https://www.tumblr.com/pygmi-says-hi/762013708733038592/stop-doing-this-in-injury-fics?source=share

Vocabulary list for fight scenes with actions, reactions, effects and more:

https://www.tumblr.com/writers-potion/743977530213679104/vocabulary-list-for-fight-scenes?source=share

Words and phrases to describe characters in pain

https://www.tumblr.com/maccreadysbaby/721518428167536640/some-of-my-favorite-words-and-phrases-to-describe?source=share

Little Tips

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

https://www.tumblr.com/archaeren/754474165729476608/how-i-learned-to-write-smarter-not-harder?source=share

Things that may be causing your writer's block and what to do

https://www.tumblr.com/burntoutdaydreamer/733191894679650304/things-that-may-be-causing-your-writers-block?source=share

Writing tips for authors with ADHD

https://www.reddit.com/r/FanFiction/comments/u3mzd0/writing_tips_for_authors_with_adhd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

NSK96's Writing Help, divided by sections and covering all parts of writing:

https://www.tumblr.com/nsk96/703138245307924480/writing-help?source=share

Show Don't Tell

Or do a little telling too, it's alright

Writing better descriptions

Showing what the character is feeling

Consider checking more of Lyralit's posts, there are more like this one

Writing tips by Mod Joana: Don't like it — change it. The first words. Show don't tell:

https://lets-get-fictional.tumblr.com/post/175250059716/what-are-the-best-3-tips-for-writing-in-your

Writing relationships:

The look of love, longing, betrayal and hatred

https://www.tumblr.com/writing-chats/759405472560398336/the-look-of-love-for-writers?source=share

Writing Intimacy

https://www.tumblr.com/maelancoli/762370465038745600/writing-intimacy?source=share

Writing Smut

https://www.tumblr.com/cillmequick/734816830305255424/maam-please-bestow-upon-me-your-amazing-smut?source=share

Writing a relationship your readers will ship

https://www.tumblr.com/daily-writing-tips/174033327753/writing-a-relationship-your-readers-will-ship?source=share

Advice for writing relationships

(Big compilation with lots of tips and different types of relationships)

https://www.tumblr.com/creativepromptsforwriting/726838146095087616/advice-for-writing-relationships?source=share

Writing romantic love

https://www.tumblr.com/novlr/713058246667223040/how-to-write-romantic-love?source=share

I'll update when I find more! I hope this helps you <3

#writing tips #writing advice #writing inspiration #writing resources #dialogue prompt #help finding words #fanfiction help #fic help #fanfic writing #ao3 writer #writing help #writer tips

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berliner-baerchen · 1 month ago

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Omg about the ai fics i didnt realize that a few of these acc were using ai and it made me feel really inadequate as an author for not being able to post or write as much as them and then i read one and i was like hey wait a minute this doesnt seem right. Then it all clicked and i got really mad

Write your own shit. If english isnt your first language or you're bad at grammar then... imrove. You wont get better at it using ai.

I don't understand people who forego the process of creating and growing.

Genuinely! This was my exact thought process. There was a time when it didn't even occur to me that people would post AI fic. After all, FanFic is inherently transformative. The ability to share your scenarios and communally engage in ideas is part of what makes fanwork so great.

Then this author, doing a daily posting challenge, dropped a bombshell in their Author's Notes. They'd been using AI to "help" because English isn't their first language... which felt like a betrayal since English is not my first language either. It was so frustrating. Beta readers exist! Fandom is a community, and people will have your back if you simply reach out and ask if somebody more experienced in English will read your work before you post it.

I use your ask to post a list of things to look out for. None of these should be treated as a "gotcha" since LLMs are trained by scraping real people's writing. However, since LLMs are calculation models, they use predictive wording and structure, and it's possible to clue into something being AI-written.

[Edit for the people with no reading comprehension: "things to look out for" =/= "here is irrefutable evidence of AI usage!". I'm talking about LLM generation patterns.]

1. Overuse of Similes

Almost every author will use similes. However, AI over-relies on them and typically uses them every other sentence. You will see many of the same similes word-for-word repeated across AI-written fics.

“He walked in like he owned the place.”

“His voice cracked like glass under pressure.”

“The silence was heavy, like a wet blanket.”

“The anger surged through him like a tidal wave.”

2. Overly Formal Dialogue

Some AUs make this type of wording far more fitting. However, both Tyler and Josh speak in an informal Americanized way, using conjunctions and filler words (uh, like, you know).

“I am not sure what you mean by that, but I would appreciate some clarification,” he said.

Instead of the more natural: “The heck are you talking about?”

3. Dramatic Em-Dash Constructions

I love a good em-dash and hate how AI uses them too. Many good writers use em-dashes since they convey information differently from semicolons. But LLMs attempt to mimic emotional fragmentation in a way that's supposed to create emphasis, but often comes across as unnecessary.

“He was trying—trying—to make things right.”

“He couldn’t breathe—no, wouldn’t breathe—until he knew Josh was okay.”

“It was over—everything they’d fought for—gone.”

4. Generic Reactions

Again, since LLMs scrape data from human-written FanFic, they emulate common reactions that real people use. However, like with similes, they tend to overuse them in ways that don't always fit the context.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

His heart beat hard in his chest.

His jaw clenched.

A shiver ran down his spine.

5. Repetitive Sentence Structures

Writing is like music. You have cadence and flow. But AI relies heavily on a certain sentence rhythm, like "[Character] did [action], [adverb/adjective] doing [something else]." Also, the overuse of "something" and stilted one-sentence lines, and having one-line paragraphs.

Tyler turned away, shoulders trembling, his breath hitching in his throat. He followed, footsteps echoing, his heart pounding like a war drum.

Something about the day felt different. Promising. Not just another cycle of practices and performance but a branching path leading somewhere else. Somewhere new. Something… exciting.

But no. Not yet. Not now.

6. Emotional Beats that Don't Land

AI likes to insert intense emotional reactions without proper build-up or payoff, creating tonal whiplash.

Josh glanced at him—and suddenly, his soul shattered into a thousand pieces of longing.

7. Stacked Descriptions

I keep emphasising this, but plenty of human authors do this too. Still, AI often layers adjectives and adverbs in a way that reads as cluttered and devoid of subtlety. It should not be seen as an indicator of LLM usage by itself.

His dark, glistening hazel eyes pierced through the dim, hazy light of the cramped, dust-choked room.

My final note is that none of these should be taken as irrefutable indications of AI use. I do not want to engender hostility. However, as somebody with access to an AI detector that's used in academic fields, I can assure you... There are authors in the tag who are posting heavily AI-written fics. Many of them are doing it in a disingenuous/deceptive manner, too. I do ask you, however, not to harass any person who might be using AI! It is far more effective to simply not engage with their work.

As always, please feel free to vent in my inbox. I like to know I am not alone in my frustration.

#anti-ai #joshler fanfic #joshler fanfiction #joshler #ao3 writer #anon ask #i apprecite you op #let me know if you didn't want me to post this ask

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mylanguageclasses · 3 months ago

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Adverbs of Place in English Grammar

Introduction Adverbs of Place are essential components of English grammar. They describe where an action happens and provide more clarity in sentences. Understanding these adverbs can significantly improve communication skills. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore their definition, rules, usage, examples, and important considerations. Common Expressions Using Adverbs of Place Here are…

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i-translated · 2 years ago

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I want to talk about syllable count in English vs Russian, and I'm going to use "Surface Pressure" as an example because of how fucking horrendous the official Russian translation is, let's go.

So English is a relatively simple language, and a lot of its simplicity is owed to how little various grammarical structures affect the modifications of words.

English nouns aren't gendered and only ever go through a transformation when you add a plural. Car - cars, city - cities, etc. Note that an -s at the end is itself a consonant, and in most cases does not influence the syllable count of the word.

English adjectives don't even have plurals. A fast car - two fast cars. The only modifications occur in comparatives (a fast car - a faster car -the fastest car) or in derrived adverbs (a quick move - to move quickly). All of these add only one syllable most of the time.

Verbs go through the most transformations. I move - I moved - I'm moving, etc. You can pair then with auxilary verbs (I have moved), though again in many cases it doesn't influence the syllable count (I move - 2 syllables, I've moved - still 2 syllables, only a bit more of a mouthful).

Now, there are obviously more complex structures out there, this is just a short sample for comparison. Now let's look at what's going on in Russian.

Nouns in plural typically gain at least one additional syllable. Conpare: cat - cats vs кот - коты. An ы is a vowel. A bitch to rhyme, too.

Nouns have cases. For instance: (this is a) house - дом, 1 syllable; (in the) house - (в) доме, 2 syllables.

Adjectives also have cases, and they match the nouns that they are describing. See: (this is a) big house - большой дом, 3 syllables; (no) big house - (нет) большого дома, 5 syllables.

If you have more than one adjective in a row, all of them have to natch the case of the noun they're describing. See: big pretty house - большой красивый дом, 6 syllables; (no) big pretty house - (нет) большого красивого дома, 9 syllables.

Verbs are even worse. There's no gerund, so every instance of it in English is a separate sentence. For instance: I saw him running - Я видел, как он бежал (lit. I saw how he ran). It's almost always at least two additional syllables, if not more.

Present participles get even longer. I need a separate bullet list just to demonstrate. Compare:

I run (2 syllables) - я бегу (3)

Running (2) - бегущий (3)

Running by (3) - пробегающий (5)

(A girl) running by (3) - пробегающая (6)

(To the boy) running by (3) - пробегающему (6)

And these are just the simplest examples. There are English infinitives that turn into whole Russian clauses (I want you to go - я хочу, чтобы ты ушёл). There are simple, everyday use words that are just longer on average, like:

If (1) - если (2)

When (1) - когда (2)

Which (1) - который (3)

This (1) - это (2)

Why (1) - почему (3)

Because (2) or 'cause (1) - потому что (4)

I could go on. Then there's also the fact that Russian is very phonetically consistent, meaning there's little to no phonetic reduction. You can't y'all'd've your way our of a long ass sentence. You have to work with it.

So here's what you end up with.

On one hand there are Russian-to-English translations that are short on syllables and you have to pull them out if your ass to fill up those bars. Not saying there isn't an occasional tight squeeze - Russian too can be concise and punchy in a non-verbose way - but to me the space within the lines seldom feels too cramped. You may phrase something in an unnecessarily complicated way or add a word that wasn't in the original, but as long as you stay humble and remember your role as a translator, you can do the original justice with minimal errors.

On the other hand you have English-to-Russian translations that always - and I do mean always - have too many fucking syllables. This is arguably much worse. One's ass may very well be a bottomless pit to pull words from, but you can't stuff them back in. Those syllables aren't going anywhere. You have a sentence on your hand and you can't cut any of that sentence without losing a part of its meaning.

If you've been following the logic so far, you're probably asking yourself: so what the fuck am I supposed to do with all those leftover syllables? That's a very good question! I ask it every day. It's agony.

Here are a few methods I've learned to utilize.

Sentence-slicing. Sometimes you can't match the lines exactly, so you step on the next oine until you get obe with some breathing room and "catch up". You can't do this too often or for too many lines in a row because the translation starts to "fall behind", but there are times when you can get away with it.

Wordplay! It's pretty hard to pull off in Russian but you totally can, and it feels amazing when you pull it off. Why use two words when you can use one with a double-meaning?

Use thesaurus. And if that don't work? Use more thesaurus.

Sometimes things will get cut. You must accept it. Not every metaphor can be translated. Not every rhyme can be preserved. Some words will have to be changed. This is very important to understand. A good translator must take responsibility for every meaning they twist. They must analyze the material on more levels than just literal and linguistic in order to accurately transfer it into another language with minimal, acceptable losses. I cannot stress enough how hard and how important this is.

Now, let's talk about "Surface Pressure".

The original lyrics were written by Lin-Manuel Miranda, and I don't fucking care what anyone says, this man got bars. It's kind of a trend to poke fun at Hamilton, but In the Heights won a ton of awards, and nobody fucking says the songs in Moana were bad, do they? Point is, I like his lyrics. They're extremely good. Great job, Mr. Miranda.

The Russian translation I'm going to be tearing to shreds today was, from what I could find with tough fucking luck, made by Disney Character Voices International, Inc.. This is only to say a studio approved it. I'm not harping on, like, one little guy. There were corporate decisions made there.

I'm also gonna compare it to my own translation because I just think that it's better. It's not perfect by any means, but then the bar is already pretty damn low.

With all that out if the way, lets read some lines! Out of order because this is my post and I can do what I want. Exhibit A.

"It's pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop // Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip 'til you just go pop" is a line from the chorus that gets repeated a few times. I likeit because it's cute, evocative, and alliterative - it creates a particular "beat" sound by using frequent consonant repetitions "drip-drip-drip" and "tip-tip-tip".

The original translation gives us: "Давит тебя вниз-вниз-вниз и всё ближе дно, Давит тебя вниз-вниз-вниз, выплыть не дано" - lit. "Pushes you down-down-down and the bottom gets closer // Pushes you down-down-down, it's impossible to surface". It's not the worst offender but the alliteration is gone to fuck, now it's "down-down-down" in both lines and sounds pretty repetitive.

I did it like: "Давление по кап-кап-капле прижало грудь // Тянет тебя вниз, вниз, вниз, не даёт вздохнуть" - lit. "Pressure by drip-drip-drip(drops) pressed your chest // Drags you down-down-down, doesn't let you take a breath". The first line is actually a wordplay, "кап-кап-кап" (kap-kap-kap) is the sound water droplets make, and "давление по капле" or "pressure by drops" is a lowkey classic metaphor for continuous strain on one's nerves. The line also isn't tautologic because it uses two different words for pressure.

I wanted to keep more of the origial meaning but "pop" did not translate. Couldn't imagine what one would say instead. Хоба? That's so rustic.

If you're thinking "it's not too bad" then we'll get there when we get there. Exhibit B.

"Diamonds and platinum, I find 'em, I flatten 'em // I take what I'm handed, I break what's demanded, but-" is one of my favorite lines in the goddamn song. Notice how the first line has a quadruple rhyme? So fucking crisp and juicy. Fuck yeah!

The original translation gives us: "Тверже бриллианта, сильнее Атланта // Я всем помогаю, я строю-ломаю, но-" - lit. "Harder than diamond, stronger than an Atlas // I help everyone, I build and break, but-" and y'all this is so cringe. What's up with "I help everyone"? It's so childish, it doesn't fit the tone of the song at all. All the rhymes in the second line are verb rhymes which is the laziest, most childish, most unoriginal type of rhyme in the entire goddamn language. Seriously. Silver Age poets are turning in their coffins right now. Good fucking heavens "Строю-ломаю" what a Care Bears ass phrasing. Also, Atlas? Really? Go off ig but I think that's just cause they couldn't find another rhyme for diamond and didn't even try for platinum.

I did it like: "Бриллианты и платина - вызов под стать, а мне // Брать что дают и ломать что некстати, но-" - lit. "Diamonds and platinum are a challenge to match (me), I have to // Take what I'm given and break what's not right (what's amiss, what's unneeded, neither here nor there)". So the quadruple rhyme still couldn't be preserved (sorry Mr. Miranda) but I did manage to rhyme platinum, and I kept the "I take what I'm handed" line in a way, which I feel is very important? Like, in the context of the song? It refers to her literally carrying physical items as a part of her work and to her metaphotically "taking" shit from her family that was pressuring her, and it reads both ways in translation too, it's kind of like "be content with what you're given", it's very in-character, I feel like. I did lose rhymes though. Can't be helped, I suppose.

"It's still pretty okay-" EXHIBIT C:

"Pressure like a grip, grip, grip, and it won't let go // Pressure like a tick, tick, tick 'til it's ready to blow" - another line from the chorus, very good alliteration still, very steady rhythm, very evocative, I kiss this song on the mouth if you even care.

The original translation throws at our face: "Давит тебя вниз-вниз-вниз, это нелегко // Давит это, тик-тик-тик, взрыв уже недалеко" - lit. "Pushes you down-down-down, it's not easy // Pushes means tick-tick-tick, the explosion is already near". I fucking hate "it's not easy" for how stupidly blunt it is, I hate that "tick-tick-tick" no longer has as strong of a metaphorical connection, I hate that they repeat "down-down-down" for the third goddamn time, but y'know what? I could forgive all that if they haven't broken the rhythm. Allow me to illustrate.

Slashes are stressed, Us are unstressed, the dash is a skipped beat.

Do you see the extra syllable? Do you see it? I see it. I lose my sleep because of it. This isn't, like, a classic translation liberty. This is legit a mistake. They just said Fuck It, Who Give A Shit. Well, I does. I gives a shit

I did the line like: "Давление как взять-взять-взять и держать в тисках // Давит будто тик-тик-тикает и бабах!" - lit. "Pressure like to grab-grab-grab and hold you in a clamp (a vise? what's it called, the scary construction tool) // Pushes as if tick-tick-ticks and kaboom!" So... Ticking is a verb now! And a bit of a wordplay, too. My line is actually one unstressed syllable short but it doesn't break the rhythm because you can, y'know, stretch the previous syllable. Cause it's a song. And you do that in songs. Also the next beat is the one you skip anyway. God, I sound so arrogant but this is just so much better.

So I actually didn't check the official translation at all when I made mine, but there's a part we did very similarly but the official one is just... Clearly worse? Okay, hear me out. Exhibit D.

"Who am I if I can't carry it all? If I falter..."

The original translation presents: "Кто я, если всё не потяну? И вдруг дрогну..." - lit. "Who am I if I can't carry everything? And suddently falter..."

My version is: "Кто я, если всё не потяну? Если дрогну..." - lit. "Who am I if I can't carry everything? If (I) falter..."

Pretty straight-forward but I'll explain. My issue is with the "If I falter" part.

So. Mine is pretty word-for-word, the official one adds a "suddenly" in there. Why, I don't fucking know, but it's not thematically terrible abd doesn't step on the meaning of the line, so whatever. But.

But! I know y'all can't read cyrillics so let me translit that real quick.

First, my version: Если дрогну - Yésli drógnu

Now the other one: И вдруг дрогну - I vdrúg drógnu

This isn't, like, critical, but if you look at the consonants on the second one, it's just VDRGDRG

I mean, fucking hell, right? I'm a native speaker and it's hard for me to say out loud. Why did they feel like it needed to be there? Why did they not just translate literally this one time where a word-for-word translation would fit perfectly? Who thought this soft gentle fade-out part needed to sound like a steel bolt in a cheese grater? Top fifteen questions that keep me up at night.

We're getting to the really bad ones.

So, the verse repeats the phrase "under the surface" a few times and rhymes on it. Like, a lot. It's very impressive and I love it.

Me, I'm a madman who loves pain and suffering, so I translated it as "сказать открыто" lit. "to tell openly" and then stayed up all night rhyming on Ы.

The official translation, however, hates to use its brain, so it went with "на самом деле" lit. "actually" and then rhymed with fucking. Nouns in the same case. Like some type of kindergarten.

I'm gonna list a bunch of lines that use this bit so I wanted to get that out of the way. Now, exhibit E.

"Under the surface, was Hercules ever like 'Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus'?" is a line I like for it's rhyme and dislike for something else I'll tell you in a bit.

The official translation smacks me upside the head with: "На самом деле, а мог ли Геракл сказать: 'Подвиги мне надоели'?" - lit. "Actually, could Heracles say 'I'm tired of (heroic) feats'?" which breaks the rhythm again and follows neither the original nor the music, but is overall okay if you don't count how childish it all sounds.

I did it like: "Сказать открыто Геракл не смог бы, что, мол, этот подвиг претит ему." which is actually a wordplay, so a literal translation would do something like "To tell openly, Heracles couldn't (tell openly) that he's sick of this (heroic) feat".

Note how we call him Heracles, not Hercules. That's cause that's his fucking name in the myth.

He didn't fight Cerberus either, he tamed him.

Also my translation follows the beat of the song, at least. Fucking hell of a line.

Okay, ready for the worst goddamn line ever? Meet exhibit F.

"Under the surface, I'm pretty sure I'm worthless if I can't be of service" is a hella powerful line to me personally.

Let me show you my version first this time, it goes like: "Сказать открыто, невыносимо стыдно, что я непродуктивна" - lit. "To tell the truth, (I am) unbearably ashamed that I am unproductive". It's not the prettiest line but it's solid enough.

The official translation curses my fucking bloodline with: "На самом деле, я каждый день недели стараюсь быть при деле" - lit. "Actually, every day of the week I try to be at work". You don't need to speak Russian to notice that within the span of a line these people actually and with full seriousness rhymed "деле" and "деле".

"Well maybe it's just a different word" no it's not.

It's the same word.

They rhymed on the same word.

I actually wanted to add more but Tumblr glitched and posted instead of saving to drafts. I think it's good like that. We're done here.

#discussion #surface pressure

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beatrice1979a · 10 months ago

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Fav fics I've written - self-love <3

@hartwign asked:

Fic authors self-rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love! <3<3

***

Ok ghost of the past... ffnet

Soooo In my late 20s I discovered a small (but extremely cozy, inspiring and talented) fandom... it felt like a community, almost like family... they were very encouraging... so I ended up dabbling in fanfic writing for about 20 months to help me improve my english while i was planning to immigrate to an english speaking country.

My favs:

The Chance - my very first fic. (spanish: La Oportunidad) Wrote it like a last century latinamerican short novel which was my style back then before I discovered fanfics. So tons of long descriptions, adverbs and head hopping and switching POVs . But i still like it. It's still my most popular work in ffnet. I'm planning to piss off my 28yo self and write an alt. ending. bwahahaha

Breakdown - my last fic. I wanted to try creating a quick 3-chapter agatha christie murder mystery fic and ended up writing a full 60k multichapter with twists, and romance and cliffhangers. Got a few fans mad. but I LOVE IT. Every time I read it... just puts a smile on my face. I want to try and write and read another murder mystery. Maybe in the Miraculous fandom ****looking at you sentitwins detective agency***. I really had fun writing it. I like that style a lot.

An Unexpected Customer - slice of life and natural dialogue. I love writing guy's POVs more than heroines. I still like it. Only fools fall in love like that <3

Just any other night: the final chapter - yay my first mature (smuttish?) fic. Anyway, the challenge for me was that there were about 5-10 words in the english sex vocab that I totally HATED to read/write back then. so i challenged myself to NOT use them at all. It's still a nice read.

Forever yours - Headhopping at my worst but it was intentional. I don't like writing heroines much. I end up adding too much of myself and my own personal experiences in them. But I still love this fic. Its still one of my favs.

Dear Future B...

please write again and revisit this list a year from now...

but finish those drawing sketches first... you slacker...

But I still love you!

sincerely,

B of the present.

ps. find a Beta and fix those grammar mistakes....

(laughs at myself... yeah right... *runs the other way*)

@fandomofone @kuromori4 @artemonh @ducky4eva tagging you. You actually have been writing in the last 15 years....

these are Gio and Betty and the Suarez family... if you are curious

youtube

yes... i have a thing for guys in leather jackets. sue me

#ao3 #actually #fanfiction.net #fic rec #self fic rec #ugly betty #Youtube #self rec

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reflectionsofthesea · 1 year ago

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Hiii I’m back! It's been a pretty stressful and busy time at work, so I'm less online than usual, but still learning finnish daily! It's actually being my saving grace: getting to detach myself from work,routine and stress and just putting my head into something completely different that I enjoy doing. Putting a read more because I wrote a lot here:

I've been progressing with my exercise book, and learned how to express the need to do something 'i have to...' and also the imperative tense. Really useful stuff. I also finally finished trascribing all puhekieli 'basic rules' on my notebook!

Some new stuff in my daily learning routine:

I started listening to podcasts and short stories! I was a bit intimidated at first, but now I've been enjoying doing it every day when I am cooking, cleaning the house or even when drawing/working. I'm listening to a beginner's podcast and can basically understand a good 80% of it, which is making me feel so proud and motivated hahaha. The crazy thing is that even if I don't understand a couple of new words, I can follow the conversation and the topic and I always know what the host is talking about, it's crazy. I'll definitely continue listening to podcasts and stories daily because I think it's helping A LOT and truly making me feel like I'm making huge progress and my brain is enlarging lol.

I started using LingQ! The importing videos/podcasts feature is super useful, and I imported some videos in finnish from youtubers I found and having LingQ generate subtitles in finnish for me and translation in english, so I can study them is so useful. That way I can exercise listening to more puhekieli and expand my vocabulary. It helps that the videos are super fun and entertaining themselves, so I genuinely want to know what's happening hahaha. (one was a Sims4 house building video, another one a travelling vlog)

I tried writing some 'stories' for the first time, this is also an advice I heard from a video, that helps with getting your brain used to constructing sentences and phrases. I already did this in a smaller way, writing very short sentences practicing different grammar rules to commit them to memory, but this exercise really makes you put more effort into building longer and slightly more articulated sentences, like phrases you'd say to someone when having a chat, or thinking out loud. I decided to pick some random themes and just write what I can about them! The pink underlined words/verbs/adverbs are things I had to look up because I didn't know how to say yet. I think this is a pretty fun and creative exercise to do though, and I can see how it can make your brain faster at producing sentences on the long run :) It will be fun to keep doing this when my vocabulary grows and I can say more stuff! (I saw a writing exercise idea on tumblr that was describing your Dnd characters and something about their personality/stories, and I really want to do that!)

Overall, I'm feeling really good and motivated. I remember feeling a bit stuck a month ago, and now that feeling is gone, and I feel like I improved a lot. I really think implementing new exercises like the written stories exercise and especially listening a lot has been so useful and important into me feeling like I'm growing more in this language. I'm really glad I fought my inner doubt and saboteur and just did it. I also gander at posts written in finnish here on tumblr and realized I understand a good 70/80% of what's written in there. Sometimes more or less, depending on how long the post is or how specific the words used are. But that's pretty crazy to me and really satisfying!

Also, if you need some inspiration for your language learning journey or some good tips (like the listening to podcasts and writing stories I'm currently doing), please watch this video! It really inspired me to keep going in my journey :)

youtube

#mine #langblr #suomitumblr #finnish #learning finnish

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chouxcats · 3 months ago

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VRVSUNI CH.9 Resources

HSR Lore

I feel like most people know this already (and I’ve also mentioned it once or twice), but Thalassa is an oceanic planet, so naturally its candles will be flameless.

From the wiki — the Lone Voyage era is marked as the start of Xianzhou civilization after the 9 ships departed their home planet 7 millennia ago.

The pipa Leevhĩ mentions uses craftsmanship styles from the Xianzhou Yuanqiao, one of the 2 Xianzhou flagships (Yuanqiao and Daiyu) which had their populations decimated by viscorpus corrosion.

Remember that gigantic beast in Firefly’s trailer? That’s a Swarm Mother.

Totton is a cavernous rocky planet plagued by storms that destroy everything in their paths, leaving only the strongest and most resilient alive. Whoever found and transported the Leviathan skeleton is / was a trooper fr. And it was DEFINITELY not done alone lmao.

Anaria is a planet mentioned in one of Boothill’s parts in the Penacony quest. According to the NPC, it throws extravagant parties a lot, so they would probs also have a hand in the Auction pie.

Planet Screwllum is powered by a planetary engine that processes punched-tape calculations. Leevhĩ’s date (?) is saying he has enough money and power to power the planet for a century. Bullshit or not? Up to you to decide.

Pteruges-V is Kafka’s home planet. She seems to enjoy fashion, so I just extrapolated that into “attention to fashion is a cultural thing on Pteruges-V”.

Hellem, where the unnamed princess is from, is a planet mentioned in one of the IPC radio broadcasts in the AE parlor car.

Ratio recognizes Leevhĩ’s charm as one from Mendasia, an Idrila-worshipping planet that was a paradise until the disappearance of the Beauty’s blessing led to its demise. When Ratio says pre-Idrilan, what he means is pre-fall of Idrila, because Mendasia is known to have believed in Idrila since the dawn of civilization. It just doesn’t sound as nice LOL — and it’s probs a common academic colloquialism or wtv.

Other Notes

Leevhĩ and Biihpæ are drastically different sizes because Leevhĩ is a half-Attouinean — that’s also part of the reason Biihpæ is a bit hostile towards Leevhĩ, although Ratio doesn’t notice. Obviously I don’t condone discrimination against mixed-race people, but this particular situation is more complicated due to multiple reasons, which I hope some of you managed to pick up on. I’ll try to describe it simply: native Attouineans are victims of IPC colonization and rightfully feel angry towards their oppressors, and Leevhĩ is working for them, so Biihpæ’s anger is justified in this context. On the other hand, native Attouineans aren’t the friendliest to non-purebreds in general, which could have been what spurred Leevhĩ to try find work off-world in the first place — of which the best and easiest choice, with Attouine’s connections, would be the IPC. It’s not the clearest, mostly because of the limitations of Ratio’s POV and also because I don’t have time to explore such a complex issue, but it’s a fun fact about Attouinean racial social dynamics.

If you run the characters “baɨχppʋε” through Enrique or “baɨχpʋε” through Conchita (both Castilian Spanish) here, you should get the approximation of what Biihpæ’s name sounds like.

The structure of the Native Attouinean language is based on Japanese grammar, with a few alterations made. It follows an “Object-Subject-Verb” construction, with adjectives next to nouns and adverbs next to verbs. However, there is no specific way to construct adverbs, e.g. “-ly” in English. There is no conjugation in native Attouinean, or even things like “un”, “ist” etc. — instead they put modification-words after the noun or verb they’re supposed to modify. “Singer” = “sing-person”, “fearless” = “scared-always-not” and so on. As with all things in linguistics, there are exceptions, but that’s how it generally goes.

“That is convenient”, I make Ratio say, pretending I didn’t just make shit up to desperately make the masquerade plot make sense

Aventurine’s ball outfit is inspired by Romani men’s clothing, but with some galactic pizzazz (+ what I assume to be his personal taste) added!

#veritas ratio vs the universe

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