#ahh anon i hope you worked up the nerve to talk to her!

[nbrook29]

99 🖤🖤

Hello there! You’re officially my last dialogue prompt 🤩 I’m sorry this took so long, anon, I hope you’re gonna like it at least a little 🤓

I don’t take prompts for this challenge anymore. Just wanted to put that out there 😇 There are so many amazing ones on that list, but as of now I have 3 WIPs and one additional one in the works and I’d like to finish them before wtfock ends 😅

Anywho, here you go!

99. “I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

* * *

Robbe is going to kill Moyo. 

In fact, he's going to kill all three of his so-called friends because none of them protested when Moyo, tipsy and on his way to drunk, announced that this party sucked and was in dire need of some spice. 

He wishes he had listened to his past self and stayed home just like he had originally planned. It was supposed to be a quiet night in, editing videos or maybe spent in bed rewatching Romeo and Juliet in peace with no broers around to mock his movie choice while stuffing his face with onion chips and pretending the movie does not make him emotional, no sir. The wetness in his eyes must be sweat, not tears.

Then, after the movie would have ended, his sulking levels high, it would be time for his favorite activity of recent - daydreaming about reality in which he actually had the fucking guts to make a proper move instead of turning red everytime a certain someone was in his close proximity; smiling at him with that perfect sweet lovely smile that turned his already gorgeous features so much more beautiful that Robbe could weep.

And doesn’t that sound like a magnificent evening?

It may sound kinda lame, Robbe is a man enough to admit that, but the prospect of spending the night watching his friends salivating over girls they can’t get being the alternative wouldn't be particularly alluring to anyone, he guesses. Especially since he never partakes in that salivating part himself, instead chugging one beer after another and playing his designated role of a wallflower. 

Story of his life.

The whole thing just plain sucks, because it’s not like his friends aren’t well aware of the fact that Robbe’s interests lie elsewhere and that he’s usually bored out of his mind at those parties. But when there’s at least a semi-attractive girl around them they don’t care about anything else but getting her number and Robbe’s not exactly their priority then. In fact, he could well enough not be there at all and it wouldn’t make much difference. It happens every time they drag him along to those parties and every time he just stands there, rolling his eyes on their embarrassing attempts of flirting. 

Not like he’s the master of flirting himself, but even he’s not capable of stooping as low as they usually do.

This time, he reluctantly agreed to come to this one, against his better judgement, after Jens bugged him about it for their entire biology class, trying to convince him it was going to be more of a small gathering rather than a party. And frankly speaking, he did that just to make him shut up so mrs Jansen stopped glaring at him. Like he was the one running his mouth.

Once Robbe said the magic words “I’ll be there” there was no way of getting out of it. Still, his plan was to come by for an hour or two to get the broers of his back, drink a few beers, talk to Jana maybe, and then quietly leave when everyone would be too drunk and too busy tonguing at each other's tonsils to notice he's gone. 

But to his surprise, the party turned out not to be the typical banger they usually attended. It wasn’t even that bad and he was kinda having fun since he wasn't forced to play the guys' sidekick-gay-friend this time around and instead was dragged by Zoe to the kitchen to drink shots with her, Jana and Luca right after he arrived.

However, parties are not really his scene in general so when it started getting really late he finished his last Buttery Nipple shot composed by Luca (don’t ask) and was just about to make an apologetic face at the girls and say his goodbyes. 

But then Noor and Brit arrived. 

With him.

And Robbe almost swallowed his tongue.

Nobody should have the right to look this good but there he was, laughing with Milan in the hall while taking his signature leather jacket off, running a hand through his smooth like silk hair (Robbe's convinced it's indeed very silky) to ruffle it a little like it ever needed any styling, and in general looking like he had just walked out of Robbe's dream straight into Milan's apartment. 

Sander Driesen.

The reason for Robbe’s cheeks being permanently stained pink as of late.

They met at one of those after school clubs led by Amber several weeks ago that Robbe came to only because he agreed (after pretty much being blackmailed into it) to play Aaron’s wingman in winning Amber’s heart. 

He was gone as soon as those green eyes met his and the boy in front of him, wearing a black Bowie t-shirt and a leather jacket, shook his hand while smiling a little unsurely but still friendly, never breaking their eye contact as he introduced himself in a honey-like voice that penetrated every cell of his body, knees buckling a little, heart stuttering, the whole shebang.

He’s still thanking god he managed to hold back the whimper that was about to get out when he was saying his own name back.

Needless to say, the meeting became much more bearable after that.

Even having to witness Aaron’s cringeworthy attempts of gaining Amber’s attention weren’t that bad anymore. Not when they made Sander chuckle under his breath and catch his eye over Amber’s shoulder, winking at Robbe with a mischief dancing in his eyes as he bit his lip to keep his own laugh at bay. 

And then, Amber came up with some stupid “love excercise” or whatever the fuck she called it and made them all hold hands in a circle. She claimed it released stress and spread positivity or some other bullshit, but Robbe was convinced it was just a ploy she came up with to hold the school’s number one fuckboy Senne’s hand (who, if Robbe had to guess, also wasn’t there out of his own free will). 

Robbe wasn’t a very touchy-feely person, especially with people he had no business of touching in the first place so the whole thing was beyond painful. Thankfully, Jana came to his rescue, snatching his right hand as they exchanged smirks over Amber’s lofty speech about positive energy filling their bodies.

But then someone else gently took his other hand and when he went to inspect who it was, annoyance already starting to creep in, his mouth went dry, eyes going up, up, up the person’s leather-clad arm before stopping on Sander’s face, looking far too entertained.

The boy took an overly deep breath, eyes closed and face feigning seriousness, breathing out loudly.

“Ahh, I can already feel that rush of energy,” Sander leaned in to whisper to him, a teasing tilt to his voice making Robbe giggled at his antics. 

“I guess Amber was right then.”

“No no, I don’t think it’s Amber’s techniques, I just think it’s because of you.”

Robbe just gaped at this shameless flirting, receiving another wink when caught blushing deep pink. Sander seemed unfazed though, totally chill, like saying lame lines and winking at boys was in his everyday repertoire. It definitely wasn’t like that for Robbe, and definitely not from boys as cute as Sander.

He should have probably rolled his eyes at him, called him cocky and full of himself. And yet.

There was something about Sander’s demeanor that screamed it was all a facade, and that underneath there was a huge dork that came out right after that guard was let down. Robbe couldn’t even be annoyed with the smug winking because it was adorned with such a cute smile that it called for a fond eye roll rather than scoffing.

Before he could form at least a half cool response, Amber started shushing all of them with a bossy face, glaring at every person that dared to make a sound. So with a rush of sudden boldness, Robbe just squeezed Sander’s hand and looked at him from under his lashes, biting his lip in an attempt at being coy (and cringing at himself internally) despite his body thrumming with nerves standing this close to Sander, and for some unknown reason it brought the desired effect. 

Sander kept smiling at him surreptitiously throughout the entire meeting, making him laugh with his playful faces at some of Amber’s more ridiculous statements, and it felt like they had an entire conversation even though they didn’t exchange one word during that half an hour.

When they were finally free to go home it was after 21, Robbe realized with a whine. After they all collected their things and were ready to leave, Sander turned around in the doorway, searching for Robbe’s eyes while ignoring the rest of their friends crowding against the door, and when Robbe glanced furtively into his direction his expression turned almost bashful as he said bye, Robin.

And then again with the winking.

Good god this boy.

And how cute it was he couldn’t actually wink? It looked more like a reinforced blinking, but he still looked cute doing it.

Once Robbe came back home that evening, thoughts occupied with bleached hair and the smell of leather jacket, he couldn’t stop himself from searching for Sander’s social media. In just one sitting he gathered a handful of information, finding out Sander was a year older and recently transferred to his school (which would explain how he had missed him in the corridors). He also had a photo with Amber down at the bottom of his profile and from the caption it seemed like they were cousins. 

Robbe’s fingers hovered over the ‘follow’ button, but he didn’t want to seem like a stalker so he just closed the app, throwing his phone on his bed in exasperation feeling sorry for himself and his inexperience in talking to boys.

The universe decided to be graceful for him for once in his life though and put Sander on his path again only 3 days later.

Like every Saturday afternoon Robbe was in the skate park with the broers, taking piss of one another’s skills and trying out new tricks while basking in the October sun that felt more like it was full on spring rather than the beginning of fall. He was in the middle of showing off some of his best tricks to the sounds of his friends hollering when he caught sight of bleached hair in his peripheral, almost falling straight on his ass. But luck was on his side and he avoided making a spectacle out of himself. 

Once he was safely on the ground, skateboard under his foot, he glanced in the direction of white hair one more time to see Sander lowering his vintage camera and whistling, making an impressed face and promptly causing Robbe to downcast his eyes bashfully.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Robin.” 

Robbe sighed. “It’s Robbe.”

“I know, but isn’t that a cute nickname?”

Robbe ducked his head, smiling a little to himself, cursing the heat rising in his cheeks. “Are you always this annoying?”

For a moment, Sander seemed to be taken aback, but then he must have noticed the teasing glint in Robbe’s eyes because he relaxed visibly, confidence back on his face.

Then, easily and offhandedly, he said, “No, just with very certain people.”

If Robbe had any doubts before about Sander taking immense pleasure out of teasing him, he didn’t anymore. He was flashed with another mischievous smile and then Sander nodded at the bowl.

“That was pretty awesome.”

“Thanks.” Robbe scratched at the back of his neck self-conciously, ignoring his friends’ intrigued faces and praying they didn’t say anything stupid. “To be honest, these aren’t even that difficult, anybody could do them...”

“Pff, I tried this skateboarding thing once and let me tell you, I was an absolute disaster so don’t sell yourself short.” Sander nudged at his shoulder with a knowing look, the contact sending a shiver through Robbe’s entire body. 

“So what are you doing here if you suck at it?” He sent him a toothy grin when Sander gaped at his brazen words, faux-scandalized. 

He then lifted his camera swiftly and took a photo of Robbe’s dumbfounded face.

“I’m only around this deadly thing to take artsy pictures of cute boys.”

Looking very proud of himself, Sander laughed at his indignant spluttering, refusing to show Robbe the photo at first, giving in a few seconds later under his killer pout (Sander’s words). 

“So, is this where you spend your afternoons?” he asked casually once they sat down at a nearby bench, Sander scrolling through his camera roll and showing him the photos.

Robbe nodded, watching Aaron from afar attempting the backside ollie and failing miserably. It pulled out a snort from Sander.

“Well, you’re definitely better at it than your friends.”

Elbowing him in the side as a sign of loyalty to his friends, he replied. “Jens is actually better than me.”

Sander sent him a curious look. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“What?! Eww, no! I have way better taste than that.” It’s not like he’d admit he had crushed on his best friend a year ago. So, hopefully, he sounded convincing.

Sander lifted his hands in surrender, laughing at his outburst. “Okay, okay, message received, only the cutest boys for you,” he paused, biting at his lip to hold his smirk. “Makes sense,” he muttered under his breath, but Robbe heard him anyway.

Later that day, he got a instagram notification that informed him that earthlingoddity was following him as of now and damn if that didn’t make Robbe’s heart beat faster.

earthlingoddity sent you a link

S: Considering today’s unfortunate incident, I made you a bowie playlist, need to teach the youngsters like you the real music 😎😏

The first message from Sander made him scoff, but he rolled his eyes at himself anyway when he remembered his conversation with him at the skatepark, asking about the shirt and prompting Sander to quiz him about David Bowie’s songs.

Robbe hid his face in his hands at the mere memory.

Space Cowboy.

How embarrassing. 

Sander tried so hard not to burst out laughing at Robbe’s confusion when his answer was met with a blank stare, bless him.

R: So you're one of those people?

S: What people?

R: Self-righteous hipsters 😜

S: Now now Robin

No need for names 😩

R: It's Robbe

R o b b e

S: Okay Robin ;)

R: 🙄

Unbelievable

S: So 

What's up? 🙃

They kept up at this casual texting for 2 recent weeks, getting to know each other, and Sander confirming that he does, in fact, have a soft side. Robbe also realized he was a much bolder person when no face to face interaction was required when he had more time before responding to Sander. Then there were the occasional “hellos” at school when they crossed paths in the halls, but so far their friendship, if he could even call it that, hadn’t evolved further.

In fact, this party was the first time Robbe had seen him in a week.

Their eyes met for a few short seconds and Robbe waved at him, immediately after wanting to bang his head at the table because who the fuck waves these days? 

Sander didn’t seem to mind this dorky display at all, beaming at him from across the hallway and not paying much attention to Milan who was talking his ear off. A second later, he was out of Robbe’s sight, dragged by Milan and the girls to the living room, leaving him staring longingly after him. 

Before Robbe got his shit together and on shaky legs went there to maybe squeeze out a few words to him, Moyo was already on his way of arranging people into a circle and producing a bottle to spin. 

What a bad fucking timing.

This was so not Robbe’s idea of fun so he started to surreptitiously backing off to the hall to slide out the door but Jana, the traitor, grabbed his arm and sat him next to her, seeming very excited about the game.

It’s not like he was the only one reluctant to play though. Sander’s face looked rather bemused too.

“Come oooon, Sander,” Noor groaned at him, pulling at his sleeve relentlessly to make him plop his butt on her left side. “You promised to leave that sulky slash lovesick face at home and have fun. This is fun!”

“I think we have a different definition of fun, darling,” he retorted, his gaze sweeping through the half-drunk faces, stopping at Robbe’s for a millisecond. It was so quick he thought he imagined the apprehensive look on his face, but then Sander did sit down, letting out a long-suffering sigh and promptly avoided his gaze throughout the game. Which was clearly an intentional effort because they sat exactly opposite each other.

To say Robbe was confused would be an understatement.

And that’s how he finds himself here, sitting in a circle amongst his friends and several strangers who keep hollering and shoving tongues in each other’s throats. He had one close call when the bottle spinned by a redhead girl almost pointed at him, making him hold his breath but then stopping on Moyo sitting on his other side, who was way more eager to fill the deed.

When it’s finally Sander’s turn to spin the bottle, Robbe's heart starts beating double time and he twists his fingers nervously. He realizes with dread that there is no good outcome of this situation; if it lands on any of his friends or any of those few people he only vaguely recognizes, he’s going to have to watch Sander play tonsil tennis with them and his stomach turns unpleasantly with something akin to jealousy at the mere thought. 

But if it lands on him?

Oh god.

The bottle is spinning already, Robbe having missed the moment Sander put it in motion, too busy wrangling with his thoughts about what he should do. The fact Sander has been avoiding his eyes ever since they started this stupid game makes him even more nervous about the whole thing. 

Then the bottle stops, pointing at him so accurately that it leaves no room for question.

And Sander’s face positively falls.

Sitting near him Jens and Moyo are giving him subtle thumbs up and not so subtle shit-eating grins with Aaron next to them clearly confused at their behavior all the while Sander looks like he’s in pain.

Eyes glued to the floor, body rigid, looking like he’d want to be anywhere but here.

People are staring at them, waiting for something to happen and Robbe feels nauseous.

And so humiliated. 

How could he misinterpret Sander’s behavior so much? And it’s not even that, not really. Does the idea of kissing him disgusts him that much he can’t even give him one stupid kiss to avoid putting Robbe on the spot?

From the corner of his eye he can see Noor elbowing Sander in the side and there’s an entire conversation happening between them without one word being uttered. 

Then, several things happen at once. The boys let go of any subtlety and start whooping and hollering like they want to force Sander to make some kind of move, there’s a loud whack coming from the kitchen where one of the couples went to continue their PDA so Jana and Zoe get up to check the damage and then Adi, who has been rummaging through the liquor cabinet for the last ten minutes, yells that he found a ten year old whiskey, making the broers scrambling off the floor to get their hands on it.

The rest of the people are still here with them though. Still staring. And Sander still seems to be rooted to the spot.

And Robbe has had enough. 

Ignoring Noor’s soft Robbe, he gets up and with a heavy heart almost runs to the door, putting his jacket on in a haste, frustration and shame cursing through his body as he runs down the stairs two step at a time, wanting to get outside as fast as he can.

The cold air washes over him once he reaches the entrance and he breaths in shakily, feeling his eyes welling up despite his hardest efforts not to cry.

It just hurts. It really hurts. And if he’s being honest with himself, the fact that there have been witnesses to his humiliation is a small part of the reason why he feels this way. It’s about the fact that it was Sander.

Sander. This boy who let him believe there may actually be someone interested in him. In that way. Sander, who flirted with him, complimented him, smiled at him, listened to him and sent him Bowie playlists.

Sander, who he felt more connected to recently than to any of his friends. 

He wipes at his eyes angrily, scoffing at the fact that this asshole was able to make him cry, when he hears rushed steps on the sidewalk behind him.

“Robbe!”

Walking faster, he tries to ignore the sound until there’s a hand on his shoulder stopping him in his tracks. He turns around ready to blow out in Sander’s face but the boy is faster.

“I’m so sorry for that,” he pants, voice tinted with desperation, apologies written across his face as his eyes flit all over Robbe’s like he’s trying to read his mind.

But Robbe only lets out a humorless laugh. “No worries, I understand, you were very clear. Point taken,” he sneers, starting to walk again.

“No, you don’t understand,” Sander pleads with him, taking his hand in his own to keep him from leaving. Robbe wants to pull it back, but the distressed look in Sander’s eyes makes him hesitate. “I didn’t want our first kiss to be a part of some stupid game. Not when I spent weeks trying to come up with a perfect scenario for our first kiss in my head.”

Robbe promptly loses his breath at his confession. 

“You wanted to kiss me before?” 

“Ever since I saw you,” Sander confirms in a small voice. His demeanor lacks the confidence Robbe got acquainted with, ripped of any trace of the usual conckiness. Instead, Sander appears almost shy, biting his lip nervously as if waiting for a blow and heart-breaking rejection.

There won’t be a rejection though. Not tonight. 

Without second-guessing himself, Robbe takes that one step that still separates them and seals their lips together, hands drifting to Sander’s rosy cheeks on their own, like there was a magnet pulling them in. Sander is stunned at first, his lips unresponsive, but it only takes about three seconds for his brain to catch up and then.

Then.

Then there’s Chernobyl in Robbe’s head.

Fuck.

The way this boy kisses.

Phew.

Robbe’s brain shuts off as Sander’s mouth moves over his with intention, sliding together in a rhythm that leaves him breathless. It’s almost impossible to keep all the noises that threaten to escape inside, one small whimper getting out without Robbe’s accord, but it’s okay because it gets swallowed by Sander’s unyielding lips right after it leaves Robbe’s, making Sander pull him even closer.

Eventually, they have to stop, getting dizzy from the lack of air. When their mouths do separate though it’s only for a centimeter and they keep panting in that small space between them, soon breaking out in quiet giggles.

“I've wanted to kiss you ever since I saw you too. Ever since that stupid meeting,” Robbe admits, feeling brave and like he’s floating on air, no confession scary enough right now. Sander looks very pleased with his words, and Robbe can feel the telltales of his regular confident smile coming back to his face under his lips when Sander pecks him softly.

Then, he draws back, regarding Robbe with eyes full of mischief.

“I only joined to meet you.”

That makes Robbe cock his brow in surprise and he searches his face for a lie or at least a joke, but he doesn’t find any. “You saw me before?”

There’s a pause and then Sander’s smile turns softer. “I saw you the first day of school.”

And, wow. He did not expect such a turn of events. 

“You were sitting at a lunch table with your friends, deep in thought, looking so beautiful you took my breath away. It felt like I saw an angel.”

Blood floods Robbe’s cheek and he drops his eyes under Sander’s intense gaze, because he’s not used to such praise, or praise whatsoever. And then there’s Sander, looking at him like he’s something precious, like he hung the moon and stars, touching him so gently and kissing him so passionately and Robbe feels like passing out.

Sander must have sensed he was getting overwhelmed because he chuckles quietly and cradles his cheek in his palm, thumb sweeping under his eye in a soothing motion as he leaves a few small kisses on his other cheek, melting Robbe in a pile of goo right there on the sidewalk, quiet night around them.

Once he pulls himself together, he can’t resist the tugging at the corners of his mouth and a full-blown smile blooms on his face that’s instantly matched by Sander’s own.

“You know, I don’t think I ever played spin the bottle before but I’d give it zero stars on booking.com,” he declares suddenly pulling a laugh out of Robbe. “I was so scared I’m gonna have to watch you kiss somebody else, phew!” He places a hand on his chest comically, turning on the dramatics. “My poor heart wouldn’t take it, Robin!”

And fuck, he’s so cute that Robbe can only laugh at this (his?) dork, fondly rolling eyes at his antics.

“Yeah, I didn’t want anybody to kiss you either. And it’s Robbe,” he adds with a long-suffering sigh, futilely, he’s sure, but it’s still worth it because Sander’s cheek in tongue expression lets him know the boy loves to rile him up and is not going to stop anytime soon.

Still, to wipe off the smug smile for the time being he pulls him back into a kiss by the lapels of his leather jacket and Sander doesn’t exactly protest such. The second kiss is slower, more thorough, but still mind blowing enough for Robbe to feel heat tugging at his stomach.

“Will you go on a date with me? Tomorrow? Or any other time you’re free? Please?” Sander whispers in the small space between them after they finally break apart, foreheads resting against each other and fireworks going on in Robbe’s brain. Despite them standing so close Robbe can see Sander’s face pretty clear, and he can see his hopeful but tentative expression as he waits for him to answer, eyes growing unsure with each second of silence.

Not wanting to keep him in suspense anymore, he gives his parted lips one more lingering kiss, too weak to resist them when they shine so prettily in the street light above them. “Tomorrow sounds perfect.”

[hallowed-be-thy-username]

First I wanted to say that I binge read a lot of your fics and I love all of them! Thx for sharing your amazing work with us 💜 I wondered if I may request a fic with J and a reader who's insecure about her body because she's a little bit chubby (really only a little bit). But she was mocked in her past, and now she hardly wants to show anything of her body, e.g. even in summer she never wears shorts etc. Fluff would be great 💚 Feel free to ignore my request if you don't like writing about it.

Hello, anon!! I’m back with your fic! Thank you so much again for your request 🥺💕 I hope you see it and I really hope its what you were looking for! It’s a very fluffy comfort fic with a very soft version of J. A girl needs some comfort sometimes!

Self-insert, Ledger Joker x fem reader, comfort, fluff, fluff fluff

Word count: 2, 574 🙈

Warnings: body issues/low self-esteem, anxiety, triggers involving removing clothes, not quite NSFW but clothing is taken off

Heat

Sweat beaded on your forehead as you reached to turn on the fan by your window. The artificial breeze did little to relieve your discomfort brought on by the sweltering heat wave blanketing Gotham.

Summer decided it wasn’t finished yet and the temperature suddenly soared this late September evening with no sign of cooling down, even with the setting of the harsh sun. You hated the summer. Sweaty clothing sticking to your skin, the humidity in the air making you feel sluggish. Everyone walked around in shorts and tank tops, soaking up the sun’s rays at parks and on patios, or cooling off in the waves at the shore, comfortable showing their skin. You weren’t.

This time of year was hard for you. You didn’t want to show your body. Long pants and shirts with enough fabric to conceal your torso, thats all you wore, even when you were by yourself. People would see you walking around in jeans and a zip-up hoodie in ninety degree weather and look at you like something was wrong with you. There wasn’t anything wrong with you, well not in that way. You’d been mocked for your appearance so much during your life, especially when you were young, that if you spent too long in front of a mirror you’d find plenty of things. You’d look at your reflection and lament about the little extra weight you carry, your smaller bust, this crease, that stretch mark. People are cruel. People are shallow. If you don’t have a body that meets their standards, they’re sure to tell you.

Part of what attracted you to Joker was the fact that he couldn’t care less about what anyone thinks of him. His clothes were loud, his face was one that no one can ignore, his presence commanded attention. He basked in it, reveled in having eyes on him, but had no interest in their opinion. As long as he made a lasting impression, he was happy. Of course he knew that he would, no one forgot him.

You certainly didn’t. You saw his face and were instantly mesmerized. His eyes drew yours in and held them there with an invisible force. Of all places to find yourself, it had to be at Gotham National Bank that morning. Everything happened so fast. Fear turned into fascination and fascination turned into an unlikely new job for you. When he didn’t scare you away, curiosity flashed on his face. You couldn’t look away. He let you go on one condition, you worked for him now. You were his eyes and ears, a little birdie, listening for rumors and word of mouth from around the city. He found your inconspicuousness useful.

You managed to keep your feelings secret for awhile now. You couldn’t help your attraction to him, he was so enigmatic and charming. His charm was undoubtedly a tool he used for manipulation but with you, it felt different. He didn’t try to scare you. He towered over your shorter stature but you liked it, when he stood over you he was all you could see. He started calling you names like “doll face” and “kitten”, even “my little bird”, making your heart flutter every time he said them. You never saw him interact with anyone in a romantic way, but you had a feeling the ability was there, hiding. There was a softness in his hands that you could see. He always said his scars scared people, not you though. You wanted to run your fingertips over them, kiss them, love them. You felt this emptiness, a lack of intimacy, that you wanted him to fill.

But you couldn’t do anything. You didn’t feel like you were good enough for him. He’s the Joker, how could you be good enough for him?

You apartment door swung open and you jumped from your chair, scrambling to your feet.

“Jump-y little bird, aren’t ya?” Joker chuckled.

Your widened eyes narrowed at him before sighing and flopping back into your seat. “Well someone suddenly bursting into my apartment is a little startling, yeah.”

Joker grinned and giggled again, he always seemed to have fun getting you riled up so you’d be snarky with him. “Ahh what’s got your knickers in a knot, hm?”

“Its… its just so hot out,” you answered, your face darkening at his mention of your underwear.

It was so hot out he was without his trademark purple trench and suit jacket, even his vest and tie were missing. The sleeves of his hexagon shirt were rolled up so you couldn’t stop eyeing his bare forearms. He cocked an eyebrow as his eyes studied your attire. “Uhh it would prob-ably help if your weren’t dressed for a, ah, snow storm, doll.”

You smirked and huffed a giggle at his joke like you always would, trying to hide that the subject of your appearance was already starting to grate at your nerves.

“No! Not a snow storm! I just, um, I like to be comfortable,” you lied with a smile on your face.

But you couldn’t fool him. He saw right through your phony casual demeanor, tilting his head to the side while he stared at you, waiting for you to tell him the truth.

You still tried to change the subject. “S-so, uh, I heard something about Batman today.”

Of course he knew you were lying. He could see the hesitation in your eyes, the way your brow was slightly furrowed, your nervous fingers fidgeting with the loose thread on your shirt.

“Nooo you didn’t,” he said in a deep voice, his tongue flicking over his lip. He continued to wait with his eyes on you, breaking down the façade you were attempting to build in front of you.

You swallowed and stared at him, the forced grin dropping from your face. He wanted to be serious. Alright, you can be serious. You always joked about things but never this. It was too personal.

“You’re gonna make me talk about this?” you asked, your heart now pounding in your throat.

Joker nodded slowly. He didn’t like to be lied to, you knew this, and he wouldn’t let it go until you talked. He stepped closer, his expression like stone while he lowered himself to sit in front of you. Your instincts compelled you to hide yourself even more so you drew yours knees in to your chest. He wasn’t going to back down.

You kept your eyes on his and look a deep breath before looking away, your hands starting to shake. “I… don’t like the way I look. I cover myself with clothes so I don’t have to see, so no one else can see.”

Tears formed behind your eyes, burning with embarrassment. Why did you say that? You’ve never told that to anyone and you just told Joker. Why? Your head started to buzz and your chest tightened. You wished that the floor would open and swallow you up so you wouldn’t have to face his ridicule.

“You care about that?” you heard him ask.

Your heart nearly stopped and your gaze jerked back over to his face. What did he just say?

“Um… what?”

His heavy black eyelids blinked at you and he said, “That’s no way to live your life, my little bird.”

All you could do was blink back, your mouth opening to speak but no words came to mind. You never expected him to say something like that.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do. I wanna see. You’re gonna show me,” he said, completely serious.

Your stomach sank so violently you though you were going to throw up. “What?? No! N-no…” You couldn’t think of anything else to say, this situation was heading in an unexpected direction so fast it was making your head spin.

He reached out and gripped your wrist when you tried to stand up. He’d never touched you before. His hands were rough but also soft. His skin was so warm. You stopped and slowly lifted your eyes to meet his, your rapid breath slowing.

“I won’t force ya, doll, its not like that at all. But… you’ll feel better.”

You stared back into his eyes. They looked different. He looked at you with a sort of reverence, like you were the one that would be granting him the privilege. Something stirred inside you. He was suddenly holding the door open for your relationship to become something more. You’d always wished it so, but now you were nervous. Your pulse was racing again and you tried to come up with something to say. You didn’t think you could do it. What if he didn’t like your body? What if you disgusted him? What if…

“What if I do it too, hm?” he asked.

Your eyes widened and you almost choked as your throat when dry as a bone. You’d… get to see him too? Now you really couldn’t speak.

His eyes took in your expression before he leaned forward and slowly used his hold on your wrist to guide your hand to his chest, where his shirt was buttoned near the top.

“I’ll go first,” he said softly.

Your fingers touched his chest and goosebumps prickled your arms despite the oppressive heat. You stared at your fingertips that now touched him so lightly. You’d never touched him before either. A tingling feeling swirled in your belly and you looked from your hand to his eyes. His eyelids heavy, he silently nodded at you.

Your fingers trembled as your other hand came up to grip the fabric, sliding the button through. It was like you had no control over them as your hands continued to move down each button, his chest steadily rising and falling with his breath. You looked at his skin, small scars littered over his chest as it was slowly revealed to you. Then he slipped his suspenders off of his shoulders to pull his arms out of the shirt, leaving it on the chair behind him. He watched you stare at his naked torso before kicking his shoes off and bending to pull off his socks. Without hesitation, he stood and unbuttoned his pants to let them fall to the floor, stepping out of them to stand in front of you, wearing only a pair of black boxer shorts.

Now the room felt even hotter, your blood rushing to the surface and face flushed from watching him just undress in front of you, like it was no big deal. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, his body like a magnet for them while your heart thumped against your ribs. You felt his gaze on you and you slowly looked up at him.

“Your turn, doll. Are ya ready?”

Your breath quickened and you bit your lip. Maybe he was right. You spent so much effort and went through so much discomfort to hide yourself from people. He made it look so easy. Maybe you would feel better.

You cleared your throat and said quietly, “Can, um… can you– can you do it for me?”

He nodded and put out his hand for you to take. A tingle traveled down your back and he lead you away from the windows to the privacy of your bedroom to sit you down on your bed. He caught you in his gaze once more before gently taking your arms out of your hoodie, his fingertips brushing against the skin on your arms to raise yet another ripple of goosebumps.

You took a sharp inhale when he lightly gripped the bottom of your t-shirt and he stopped. You tried to gain control of your breathing and stared at his hands. Fear tightened your muscles and all of your insecurities came bubbling to the surface. Memories of sports physicals, locker rooms, and swim class, anxiety about having to take your clothes off, flooded your mind. This almost didn’t feel real.

Then Joker let go of your shirt and started running his hands up your arms. It felt… amazing. His touch was light and gentle, comforting. It was so unlike what you’d expect. He was carefully taking in all of the bends and curves, paying attention to your details. You didn’t feel like he was scrutinizing, just appreciating. The urge to feel his hands on more of you made your stomach flutter you took his hands to guide them back to the hem of your shirt. He looked up at you and you nodded slightly.

Slowly, he lifted your shirt until it was over your head. Your eyes were squeezed shut when you felt his fingertips on your collar bone while he coaxed you to lay back. Your eyelids softened but you kept your eyes closed while he took his time tracing it before running his finger down the center of your chest, between your breasts. Your breathing quickened and he slowed down again, taking care to pay attention to how you reacted to where he put his hands. His thumbs grazed your belly when he ran his palms down your sides. You stiffened a bit as he entered an area you were self-conscious about, but you started to relax when he carefully caressed the plush skin from the center outward to follow your curves with his fingers. You sighed when he placed his hands on your shoulders to glide his fingers over your chest then down to your waistband. He gripped the button on your jeans and stopped, waiting until you opened your eyes.

His gaze was tranquil, putting you at ease and giving you a confidence you didn’t know you had. A soft smile tugged at the corners of your mouth and you nodded again before he unbuttoned your pants and gently pulled them down. You tried to keep yourself calm as you watched your legs become uncovered, marks and lines highlighting every area you’ve spent so long deploring, wishing you could change, hiding.

Your thoughts began to revert to their typical self disparagement until Joker laid his hands on your thighs, palms flat, one on each leg. He was knelt over you with your ankles between his knees. He slid his hands down toward your knees, putting light pressure, like a massage. He hadn’t said a word since he started undressing you but it didn’t seem like he needed to. His hands rubbed and kneaded your muscles, fingers traced your shapes, and palms soothed. You even felt cooler. He continued to explore your body, rubbing your calves and your ankles, with nothing but admiration, like he was grated access to appreciate something beautiful. You felt like one of those women in Renaissance paintings, reclined on soft cushions to be venerated by an attentive admirer.

He lifted his fingers from your ankles and sat back for a moment. His eyes scanned down your body while you breathed and he purred in a low voice, “Now you, well you are a sight to behold, doll face.”

A genuine smile stretched across your face and suddenly he moved to bring his face up to yours, his hands propping him over top of you. “Feel better?” he murmured, his lips so close they nearly grazed yours.

“I… I do actually,” you said softly, your hands coming up to grip his shoulders while your heart raced.

“Good.”

His lips took hold of yours to pull you into a deep kiss, wrapping you in a different kind of heat.

[lonelyreputation]

Cross The Line

A/N: Hiiii!! I know I said I would be posting angst next, but ha! Sike!!! Here’s a SMUT piece for ya! Ha! To the anon who requested this––So sorry that it's been so long  sljdflksd writing takes me a while and then you add smut (well, I added it in lmao) into the mix I tend to overthink alksjfld Keep your eyes peeled for some new fics!! I have a new chapter of C’est Toi, Different, and some other ones coming next week!

As always, let me know what you guys thought!! 💫 💗 Thank you to everyone for your immensely kind words!!! My heart is always filled to the brim with kindness by you lot 🥺

REQUEST: Stylist!ReaderxShawn // Friends to Something More

Let’s Chat!! | MASTERLIST

Warnings: SMUT!!! LIKE ALL THE WAY SMUT THIS TIME!! AHH!!! 

Word Count: 7.2K

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The excitement backstage was nothing like you had felt before.  After coming off a successful European leg of tour, with a two month break, everyone was reenergized.  Stagehands were high-fiving the merchandise team, the lighting director was laughing with the audio technician, and Andrew was playing tag with the band.

You were leaned up against the back wall with Connor, discretely listening in on Shawn’s fan Q&A before the show.

“What’s your favorite outfit that Y/n’s put together for you?”

At the sound of your name your postured straightened and Connor nudged an elbow into your stomach.  You turned your head to the side and whispered a harsh keep your hands to yourself.

“That’s not what you told Shawn the night of the last London show.”

You whipped your head to look at Connor, eyes wide, “You swore to never bring that up again.”

Connor’s smirk only widened as he turned his head back to face Shawn.  You followed his gaze and saw that he was looking down and twirling the white rose he held between his fingers, “Um…I liked the VMA outfit she dressed me in––The green suit.”

The crowd aww’d at his shyness while some let out little shrieks of joy as they clutched their friend’s hand.  Once Shawn looked up from the rose, cheeks nice and red, his eyes automatically landed on you in the back.  He offered you a secret smile as you shot your head down to look at your feet; both knowing exactly how that night ended with his suit on the floor.

“Did you miss her the most when you went on break?”

Connor nudged his elbow into your side again, and before you could silently tell him off again, Shawn’s soothing voice captured your attention.

“I mean yeah, sure––I––“ he was cut off by even more shrill screams of the fans when he admitted to missing you.  The fans sounded exactly how you felt on the inside, “––Of course I missed her, she’s one of my best friends,” more shrill screaming, “And like––I––I missed everyone––Connor, Andrew, Cez–––“

“But you missed her the most, right?”

Shawn’s eyes momentarily connected with yours for a minute before moving his soft eyes to meet the fan who cut him off, “I think it’s time for me to get ready for the show.”

With his avoidance of the question, the fans only squealed more––taking it as confirmation that yes, he did miss you the most––and Connor nudged your side once more.  You shot him a glare as you pushed yourself off from the wall with your foot.

“Some of us have to actually work, Connor.”

He let out a stifle of a laugh and shot you yet another mischievous glance, “I’m sure you’ll get plenty of work done dressing him down before the show.”

Connor scurried away out the door and down the hall as you stood in the back with your mouth hung open.  Sure, you and Shawn had some sort of relationship that challenged the line of friends or more, but he was your boss and you were his employee.  

Everyone turned a blind eye whenever Shawn threw an arm around you, pulled you in close to his side, and pressed a prolonged kiss to your cheek.  And everyone ignored you when you took extra time buttoning up his shirt.  Everyone––the fans, the crew, even Andrew––was conscious about the peculiar dynamic between the two of you, but no one ever said anything because you two knew not to never cross that line.

Shawn took a chance hiring you with only minimal experience on your resumé, fresh out of university with a fashion merchandising degree.  It started with shy smiles and Shawn bringing you a cup of tea made to your liking every time he saw you.  Then the nervous laughter turned into longing stares as he looked down at you shining his shoes.  And finally, after fixing the collar of his shirt, when you let your hands rest on his chest for a few seconds longer than normal, he ducked his head and kissed you.

It was quick.  A soft press of his lips against yours that happened so fast you didn’t process what had happened until he was a rambling mess in front of you.  He apologized at least a hundred times: I’m so so sorry, Y/n––I don’t know what I was thinking––I just thought that you––And I––I thought there was something between us––I’m so sorry––I crossed a line.

You let him collect his final thoughts as he let out a deep sigh of embarrassment, turning on his heels to dart out of the room and hide until the end of time, but you took hold of his hand before he could take a step away from you.  The seconds you held his hand gently in yours felt like hours as you held your breath.

You remembered how thick the air was with tension.  All of the secret glances and private touches led up to this moment.  With a shaky breath, you let out a whisper that rang through both of your ears, I think I feel something, too.

Not even a second later, Shawn took your face in both of his hands as he pressed a hard kiss to your lips.  It was everything a first kiss with someone new was; noses bumping against each other, a few awkward teeth clanks, and accelerated heart rates.  But with more time exploring one another, the two of you knew exactly what the other enjoyed between the sheets.

You were walking down the hall, on your way to Shawn’s dressing room, when a strong arm draped around your shoulder.  You felt a smile tug at the corner of your lips, knowing exactly who it was, as they fell into sync with your walking pace.

“What’s the hurry, roadie?”

You rolled your eyes at the nickname Shawn bestowed on you when you told him the horror story of telling your parents you would be traveling to work for him.  So, like a roadie? Your mother had said with a twinge of disdain in her voice, not fully believing that this was neither a viable source of income nor a stable career.

You brought an arm to wrap around his waist, “Just on my way to dress up a client.”

“Must be a pretty important client if you’re walking that fast.”

“Well,” you peered up at him and saw that he was looking straight forward with a smirk on his face, “Was maybe hoping to just have some time alone together before.”

Your voice was soft, wavering a little like the day you told him you felt something between each other for the first time.  Your voice didn’t imply that you wanted to do anything sexual with him, it was said with a more innocent tone, because you really did just want to spend some time alone with him.  The easy going and zen aura he manifested definitely had an effect whenever you spent time with him.

You felt at peace when you were in the same room as him.  You felt at ease when he sat next to you on the couch.  And you felt giddy whenever he slotted his hand between yours and played with your fingers.

You had begun to feel something way more than the excitement of a sexual relationship.  But you didn't know how Shawn felt.  You two never talked about your feelings for each other.  Of course you enjoyed each other’s presence a little too much, cared for each other a little more than how best friend’s cared for each other, and you thought a little more about what his words meant than just a regular friend.

You had crossed the line with your feelings.

“C’mon,” Shawn guided you toward the double doors that led out of the arena and to the parking lot with the tour busses.

Your movements held no objection as you let him direct you, but your voice was different, “But you have to get ready–––”

“I wear the same pair of jeans and white shirt,” Shawn looked down at you with a smile as you felt the heat of the Portland air on your skin, “I’ll be fine.”

“You do not wear the same pair of jeans every night,” you objected, “I make sure they get washed after every performance,” you glared at him as his tour bus came into view, “so if you’re wearing the same pair then we need to have a serious talk.”

Shawn let out a boisterous laugh as he detached his arm from around your shoulder to open the door.  You offered him a smile as a thank you and walked up the stairs into the familiar temporary home.

Shawn followed close behind you and swiftly closed the door.  You could feel your heart hammering in your chest with the silence.  You were always nervous to be alone with him, but with recognizing your newfound feelings for him, all thoughts of composure left your mind and you were left in a puddle of your emotions.

“You know I––I didn’t––” Your back was to him, but you still shut your eyes tight in embarrassment, “––I didn’t mean I wanted anything more when I said I wanted alone time with you.”

“I know,” his voice was deep as you heard it from behind.

“I just––I like spending time with you,” your arms hung stiffly at your sides, hands curling into fists so tight at your confession, that you knew there would be a dozen crescent moon shapes along your palm, “We don’t need to do anything.”

You could feel Shawn’s breath hit the back of your neck as he spoke, “I know.”

“But like––If you want to––We can do stuff because I like that too, but I––I just wanted you to know that I…” your words trailed off as you felt Shawn’s hands ghost over your own, simultaneously easing your nerves and heightening them all at once, “…I like the times when we don't do any of that stuff.”

“I like those times too.”

It was the closest thing to a confession of feelings shared between the two of you.

In a moment of confidence, you spun around to face him, scared to see his facial expression.  While Shawn was gifted in the way he expressed words, you knew him well enough to know that his facial expressions held the full truth.  So, when you glanced up at him, and he was looking into your eyes with the same amount of desperation and longing you had in yours, you took your confidence up to another level.

You looped your index finger into the gap above one of the buttons on his shirt and pulled him in for an innocent kiss, curling your other hand around his neck.

When you pulled back, he seemed to be in a bit of a dazed and dreamlike state, with his lips pink and slightly parted as his brown eyes stared affectionately into yours.  The look in his eyes alerted you to the fact that maybe he wanted this too.  Maybe he wanted to tiptoe across the line with you.  

“I like being with you,” you said, voice barely above a whisper as you spoke the words that both of you knew held a deeper meaning.  Your fingers continued to play with the curls at the nape of his neck, “You calm me down.”

Another moment of silence passed and you felt the nerves bubble up in your stomach.  But you knew that Shawn felt the same way, you could tell by looking into his eyes as you saw the mechanics whirling through his mind, debating on whether or not to cross the line.  

You were across the line and held out a hand for him to join you.

Just when you were about to retreat from the bus out of embarrassment that maybe he only wanted to be physical with you, he gathered you up and kissed you again, one hand on your cheek as it slid down your neck.  You were positive he could hear the beat of your heart as he slowly walked you backwards down the little living area and to his private room in the back.

You broke the kiss, “But soundcheck––”

“They can find someone else to sing into the mic,” he interrupted you, turning the knob of the door to the small bedroom.  The door flew open and Shawn reattached your lips as he rushed the two of you inside.  And then, as if there were prying eyes of eager fans who wanted to know every detail about his life around, he shut the door right behind him so that it was just the two of you in the room.

Alone for the first time since crossing the line.

Shawn wasted no time in taking your hips in his hands as he pressed you up against the door, attacking you with kisses.  The odd plastic material of the door was uncomfortable against your back, but with Shawn’s chest pressed up against yours, you didn’t mind it.

As if it would be the last time you kissed, the two of you weren’t holding back.  The kisses he gave you, that you reciprocated, were open-mouthed, rough, and fiery.  

In moments like these, it was your greatest desire to run your hands along his chest, to be as physically close to him as possible, to rest your hands on his chest to feel if his heartbeat was beating as fast as yours.  But with both of his hands pinning your arms down to your sides, Shawn made that impossible, and you were forced to keep your arms limp as he nipped down your neck.

But after a few shrugs of your shoulder, he released your arms and you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tugging on his hair. Shawn was particular when people touched his hair, and your fingers were full of hesitance when they first combed through his curls, but from the guttural sound he made when you pulled his hair from your collarbone back up to your lips, you knew he wasn’t complaining about you messing up his hair.

As much as you wanted to feel him, you savored the feeling of him touching your body.  His fingers ran up and down your sides, tracing lines on your back, inching your dress up.  

Suddenly, as if the reality of the situation came crashing down on him, he pulled away from you and ran his own hand through his hair.  You didn’t have to feel his heartbeat to know that it was beating just as fast as yours.

While you weren’t pleased by the sudden loss of contact, you couldn’t help but feel the slow tug of a smile at the corners of your mouth as you looked at him.  His white collared shirt was wrinkled and half-way untucked from his black skinny jeans.  And his curls were sticking up in a few different directions.

“You still wanna do this?”

His voice wavered in uncertainty, just like it did the day he first kissed you.

You stepped forward, hooking your index fingers through his belt loops, as you tilted your head up to sneak another kiss away from him as your answer.  Finally, he crossed the line and was with you on the other side.

Shawn held your head in his hands, tucking your hair behind your ears as he dragged his tongue across your lip to tease you.  You could’ve done without the short and sudden break of his kisses, but you would do anything for him if it eased his nerves.  

There was a change of pace to the way he touched you.  Your heart was still beating at a pace that would worry some medical professionals, but you felt calm and a sense of control you hadn’t felt before.  Your fingers stumbled over his belt buckle as you somehow managed to unhook it, only breaking your kisses once to pull the belt out of the loops. You held the leather material loosely in your hands, as you let it it slip away, dropping to the floor of the tour bus carelessly, the clanking of the buckle was loud enough for both of you to jump.

“My bad,” you nervously laughed off your embarrassment.  Shawn pulled away slightly to stare at you.  A smile softly made its way onto his face as he tilted his head to look at you with adoration.  You felt hot under his gaze, but you didn’t mind the attention you were receiving from him.

Just like every time you had been together, you wanted to watch him come undone and know that it was you who caused him to feel that way.

Shawn’s eyes traveled up, smile widening as crinkles appeared in the corner of his eyes as he softly laughed at the flower crown tangled in your hair.  It took both of his hands to remove it, and when he found a strand of hair tangled on the stem of one of the flowers, he gently unraveled it.

“I thought it added a nice touch to my outfit, a fan gave it to me,” you said with a pout as Shawn placed the flower crown on the small table in the room, “Don’t you like to play dress-up?”

“No,” Shawn answered with a whisper, “I’m tired of games.”

There was something about his voice, a delicateness to it that held a certain amount of desperation––of exhaustion––that you wanted to make disappear.  

His tone was soon replaced with a boyish smile before he reattached your lips to his.  Both of you took your time, but the urgency in your kisses and touches didn’t go unnoticed.  Your fingers went to unbuttoning his shirt as you guided him to walk backwards to his bed.  Once the top half of the shirt was unbuttoned, you slid your hands inside, spreading the shirt open to pop off the rest of the buttons.  Shawn pulled his arms out one by one, as the shirt slowly slid off his shoulders, making sure that he always had a hand on your body.  Once his shirt was fully unbuttoned and hanging from the top of his jeans, you tugged on the tucked portion out of his pants to threw it on the floor.

“That shirt wrinkles easily,” Shawn easily smiled at you, “My stylist will have your head.”

You let out a humorless laugh as you ran your hands over his chest, “I hear if you ask her nicely she’ll do anything you say.”

His skin was warm like the summer air.

“Will she now?” His smile morphed into a smirk as you felt him fiddle with the zipper on the back of your dress.  You nodded your head as you felt him pull the zipper down your back in a teasingly slow manner only to zip it right back up.

He did that a few times and the control over him you felt before was dwindling away with every tug of the dress zipper.  Instead of surrendering and giving him the upper hand, you placed a hand on his chest and pushed him onto the bed.  Surprised by your act of boldness, he tilted his head up at you.  But you could see that he enjoyed whatever dynamic was happening from the mischievous glint that twinkled up at you.

You moved to stand in between his legs, looking down at him and mirroring the lust in his eyes, as he wrapped his hands around your thighs at your knees and dragged his hands up.  He never broke eye contact with you as his hands moved further up your thighs, disappearing under the material of your dress.

You urged Shawn to scoot back on the bed.  With your hands on his shoulders to keep balanced, you straddled him, resting your knees on either side of him.  You paused for a moment to run a hand through his hair before bending your head to capture his lips in a kiss.  Shawn’s hands gripped your waist, and with one hand inching up your back toward the zipper, he finally managed to bring the zipper all the way down.

But before your moment of intimacy could continue on, you pulled back and raised your eyebrows at him.  Shawn didn’t seem too pleased at the loss of contact, but didn’t press you any further than what you were comfortable with.

“Are you sure?”

You were giving him an out; he knew that.  And while you wanted nothing more to continue on with what was to come, first and foremost he was your boss.  You were on his payroll and you didn’t want to make things any more complicated than they already were.  Sure, the two of you had sex before, but this was crossing a line into uncharted territory with real feelings.

Your question caused his smile to falter a little.  But with a hoarse voice, he managed to soften his eyes as they stared into yours, doing his best to convey every word, “Really fucking sure.”

The way he looked into your eyes––like you held every inspiration to every one of his future songs and how his voice sounded like he was pleading with you to let him imoralitize every detail of this feeling on pen and paper––you almost surrendered.  You almost let him have complete control to do whatever he pleased to your body, just so you could really feel the true impact of his words.  But you didn’t want to wave a white flag just yet, so you motioned him to slide further back on the bed, placing a hand flat on his chest and pushed him down.

You had never been so forward with him, so direct in what you wanted, that a gasp escaped from his throat when his head hit the pillow.  Leaning over him, you lowered yourself down, pinning his arms by his biceps, much like he had done to you earlier against the door, and caught him in a kiss.  This time, your tongue dominated, exploring every inch of his mouth and softly biting down on his lower lip, dragging it away with you until you released it.

Shawn didn’t fight you, and you kept your grip on his biceps as you trailed kisses up his jaw all the way to his ear, nibbling on the lobe.  Your kisses up and down his neck were full of desire, licking and sucking your way down.  

Shawn sighed as you reached his collarbone, and when you peered up at him, his eyes were closed.  His body radiated with warmth, as you moved your lips slowly down his chest, as you released the grip you had on his arms to caress his chest.

As soon as his biceps were free from the constraints of your hands, Shawn gained the upper hand, and flipped you over so you were on your back.  He sat with his knees between your legs, with the lack of control you felt sheepish under him, but he offered you a shy smile that rekindled the light in your lower abdomen.

Shawn started at your knees, one hand on each, and ran his hands over your legs.  His eyes were bright and alluring, stare never faltering, as your body was on high alert, attentive as his fingers skimmed underneath your dress.

Even with the dress still on, you felt exposed, as he gripped your thighs with each hand and pulled you toward him.  Then he leaned down toward you, moving slowly between your legs and up your torso to give you another kiss.

“Y/n,” Shawn hummed as if not believing he was awake for this moment.  He slowly dragged down a strap of your dress and kissed the spot of your shoulder where it had previously laid, “We’re gonna do this?”

“I…I want to,” you admitted shyly, pulling your arm out of the strap.  Shawn helped you remove your other arm from the strap as you asked, “Do you want to?”

Shawn smiled, “I really want to.”  He sat up, pulling your dress up over your head so fast that you weren’t even sure how it happened until you felt a coldness over your exposed body.

Your dress was tossed carelessly on the floor, as Shawn leaned down to press his chest against yours.

“Cold?” Shawn mumbled as he kissed his way down your neck.

“Um…no,” you sighed in response to his gentle biting at your skin.  “You––You’re really warm.”

Shawn leaned over and pulled back the covers on the bed, and nodded for you to climb under the sheets, which you did without hesitation.  As your head hit the pillow, Shawn crawled in soon after, unclasping your bra as he glided the straps down your shoulders.

Your fingers fumbled with the button on his pants, which was a little hard considering how tight you were pressed up against each other under the covers.  But once you popped the button from his jeans off, Shawn wiggled his legs from out of his pants, flinging them aside.  There was a noticeable bulge in his boxer-briefs, and you sucked in a deep breath.  Your moment of shyness caused him to let out a small chuckle as he brought a hand to rest on your stomach.

“I kinda like it when you’re nervous,” Shawn whispered and nudged your feet apart, brushing his fingers along the waistband of your underwear.  He dipped his index finger below the waistband, gasping when he touched your skin.

“I’m––We’ve had sex before,” you tried to keep your voice even, but with his fingers dropping dangerously low, your voice wavered, “I’m not…nervous.”

Shawn shut his eyes and leaned down to press a peck on your lips. “Okay,” his words were muffled against your lips, as his fingertips lightly brushed over your crotch that was still covered by your underwear.  You shivered again, but this time it wasn’t from the cold air.  He placed the hand on your waist to hold you in place as he leaned down to catch your lips in a heated kiss.  His tongue slid into your mouth with no reservations as his hand rubbed soft circles on the inside of your thigh.

His hand left your thighs and traveled upward, pressing a hand flat on you, watching you for your reaction to his touch.

You were crumbling like a cookie when he brought his hand to his mouth, sliding his index and middle finger between his lips.  You felt the anticipation building in your lower stomach.  He brought his fingers out of his mouth, raising his eyebrow and smirking at you, glowing with smugness.  Before you could criticize him for it, his hand slid under your underwear, with his wet fingers gliding over you in between your slit.

As if it was like you were on autopilot, your eyes closed, head falling back on the pillow as you started to feel the build up of the state of euphoria you knew Shawn was going to lead you to.  His fingers were agonizingly slow at first as they became acquainted with the sensitive area.  His movements were torturous as you bit your bottom lip to keep any obscene words from coming out.  Every time the pads of his fingers rubbed your clit, your breath got caught in your throat.

When your eyes opened, just for a millisecond, you should see that his eyes were only focused on you.  His eyes seemed just as intrigued by your reaction as you were with his fingers.  You brought a hand up onto his shoulder, slowly moving it to the back of his neck to hold you for support, bringing him down for a kiss that you instantly deepened.  Shawn made that sound again, a content grunt in the back of his throat, as you felt the feeling of the bulge grow against your thigh.

Still breathing heavily, Shawn broke the kiss, but still had his fingers working down below.

“I want you,” he breathed, lips against your ear.  And from the way his fingers skimmed over you with ease, slippery and coated, he knew just how much you wanted him. 

Before you could verbalize your desire for him, his arm tightened around you as he pushed your thighs further apart with his knee.  His middle finger began to move in circles over your clit, gentle at first, then increasing in pressure.  You threw your head back onto the pillow, clenching your jaw tight to hold off the sounds you knew he wanted you to make.  But when the speed of his fingers increased, you opened your eyes and were automatically met with his determined eyes staring into yours, you couldn’t fight the moan that escaped your lips.  You brought an arm up to curl around his neck to lift yourself up slightly from the bed as you buried your head into the crook of his neck to muffle the sound of your moans.

When Shawn removed his finger from beneath your underwear for a split second you groaned into his neck, missing the contact of his skin on yours when you were so close to a release.  He took his wrist and rolled it to stretch it out and then his hand dipped right back in as you pressed a kiss to his neck.

His movements were a little sloppier with his tired hand, but the feeling in your lower stomach began to build faster and faster with every flick of his wrist.  A tingly feeling started out on the tip of your toes and spread further and further up your body, making all of the hair on your body stick up.  

When you finally felt it––the tensing of your muscles and a euphoric release all at once––you threw your head back on the pillow, bringing Shawn down with you, as your hips bucked against his hand.  But his movements didn’t stop there, he kept his finger circling your clit, encouraging you to ride out your high.

You were not a stranger to Shawn making you feel like you were on top of the world, but something about confirming your mutual want for each other beyond a little fun here and there, made your orgasm earth shattering.  You felt it rip through your body that left you in a puddle on the bed.  Shawn slowed down his movements, hooking his fingers around the band of your underwear, helping you shimmy out of them.  In one swift movement, he discarded your underwear somewhere around the room and removed his own.

Once he kicked his legs to get his underwear off from around his ankles he trapped you in a kiss, grinding his body against yours, not shy about his growing hardness brushing against the inside of your thigh.

With a lazy smile, he pulled away from the kiss as he lifted his body from yours, reaching over to the small night stand next to the bed.  He fumbled his hand inside the drawer, “Where is it––Fucking thing––Got it,” he slammed the drawer closed with a bang as he retrieved the condom, ripped the package open, and left the wrapper on the night stand.  

As you watched him slip the condom on, all you could think of was how many times you found yourself in this position; lying beneath Shawn, forehead glistening with a bit of sweat, as you felt a shiver shake your body at what was about to happen.

Shawn leaned down, leaving a trail of kisses up your stomach before meeting your lips.  His warmth spread over you, bringing a slight relaxing effect to your nerves.  Your breaths were shallow, chest rising and falling rapidly.  Shawn noticed your nerves and paused, the tip of his shaft against your opening.

“Everything’s alright,” he lightly brushed his lips against yours in reassurance.

Shawn waited until he got a nod in confirmation from you before he continued, and in one swift motion, he slid in with ease.  You scrunched up your nose and screwed your eyes shut as you felt him push himself further into you.  It was a pleasurable sensation, but you couldn’t deny the little bit of pain you felt as he stretched your walls.

When Shawn saw the expression on your face, he slowed down his movements, letting out a grunt as he came to a complete stop, “Okay?”

There was a tenderness behind his words from the way he checked in on you to make sure you were comfortable.  He had always been gentle and kind with you in the past, but this felt more special.  And the more you looked up at his face, with his eyebrows scrunched together in concern, it planted a seed of confidence in your stomach to try something neither of you had done in the bedroom together; you lightly pushed at his chest for him to get off you.

Before he could get a word  past his lips, you sat up and swung one of your legs over his waist.  You took his cheeks into your hands, and when Shawn realized what you were doing, a smirk grew on his face.  He propped himself up on his elbows, moving back on the bed a bit, as you placed your hands on his shoulders.

Without another word, you lowered yourself onto him, Shawn trying his best to keep his eyes open and connected with yours.

But when you sunk fully down onto him, he screwed his eyes tight, throwing his head back against the flimsy tour bus headboard, “Shit.”

You kept one hand on his shoulder as the other trailed up to hold his cheek in your hand, thumb grazing his jawline as you felt it tighten. You moaned softly, neither one of you saying a word, as your fingernails dug into his shoulder.

With the new position you found yourself in, you had more of a sense of control than any of the other times you were intimate with him.  It was something you liked.  You were moving, up and down, at a rhythmic pace, as Shawn ran his fingers up and down your thighs.  He placed a hand on your waist, keeping you in position as he moved further back on the bed.  

Your movements were faster and Shawn pressed a quick kiss to your lips as he lowered his head and placed his lips over your breast.  If it wasn’t for Shawn’s hand on your hip, encouraging you to keep up with your movements, you would have stopped right then and there.  Your mouth hung open as you felt his tongue swirl around your nipple, at a loss for words, you ran your fingers through his curls and pulled on them a little.  Shawn moaned against your breast in pleasure, sending vibrations throughout your body.  

Shawn lifted his head and placed a sweet kiss below your ear, “Relax.”  His voice was soft, but seeing as you two were still connected at the hips, his voice was thick.

You hadn’t realized that your breathing was sharp and uneven.  You stilled your hips and pressed a hand against your chest, as you tried to calm down your breathing. You were more embarrassed about your erratic breathing than you were about being naked on top of him.  He had seen you naked before, but never had he seen you nervous quite like this.

“I…” You were racking your brain for an excuse, but with a quirk of his eyebrow and a soft smile, you knew any lie you told would be detected by him, “I’m nervous.”

Shawn smiled and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek before wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you in for a hug.  His calloused fingers ran up and down your spine as you buried your head in the crook of his neck, taking in a deep, shaky breath.

“It’s alright,” Shawn whispered into your ear, fingers still delicately dancing on your back, “Trust me.”

He pressed a few kisses on your shoulder before you nodded your head against him.  You trusted him a lot.  More than you probably should.  With your confirmation, Shawn pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head and wrapped a strong arm around your waist as he swiftly flipped you over onto your back.

Without a slight notion of hesitation, Shawn thrusted back into you, so deep that you clenched your teeth and pressed your head deep onto the pillow.  You gasped as he pulled out, and when he thrusted back into you again, sharp and quick, you parted your lips, "Shawn.”  

Shawn’s pace was faster than yours, but his thrusts were still careful and executed perfectly as he hit the right spot every time.  You let out a sigh of content at the sensation of being joined together with another person––a person you cared deeply about.

He kept himself hovered over you with a hand fisting the white sheets right by your head, and hooked his other arm under your thigh, wrapping it around his waist.  He held your thigh in place as he continued his fast thrusts. The only sound you heard in the tiny back room of the tour bus were the mixed gasps of air shared between the two of you and the slap of skin as Shawn repeatedly pushed into you.

Your head started to spin as you felt your stomach tighten, reaching your peak.  Shawn had taken the words right from you since he stood behind you when you first walked onto the tour bus.  So, as you struggled to keep the lewd sounds of your orgasm to a minimum, you tried to keep your eyes locked with the brown irises above you.  His eyebrows were scrunched together as he bit on his bottom lip, concentrating on every thrust of his hips as they collided with yours.

His eyes were soft, trailing down your body and then back up to stare into your eyes.  You brought a hand up to his forehead and pushed back the curls that were slightly sticking to hid skin from the thin layer of sweat.  He sucked in a breath of air as you felt the pads of fingers tighten around your thigh.

“Y/n.”

You could feel when he hit his high; voice sounding desperate, as his pace became quicker and sloppier as he lowered himself until your chests were pressed together.  He nuzzled his head into your neck, pressing hot open kisses up and down your throat.

You grabbed a fisful of his curls as he continued to slowly rock back and forth until he completely stalled his movement inside of you.  He released a deep breath, hot and full of pure content at the conclusion of your little activity, and raised his head to look into your eyes.  Shawn reached a hand up and ran his fingers over your hairline before softly tracing his fingers down the side of your face, cupping your cheek.

With your chests still stuck together by sweat, he only had to lower his head a few centimeters to brush his lips against yours.  The kisses were intimate, soft like a kid chasing a butterfly on a warm spring afternoon, before he changed the pace and captured your lips in a deep kiss.  The hold he had on your thigh dropped as he trailed his hand from the tops of your thigh, giving your hips a light pinch that had you squirming under him, and then slid his hand up to rest on your ribcage, just below your breast.

Your thoughts were wildly running around, basking in the feeling of being fully consumed by him.  

You were consumed by the feeling of the blazing trail his touches left on you.  Consumed by his voice, saying your name with all the care and wonder in the world, but also in a tone that you would never want your parents to hear.  Consumed by the taste of his salty skin as you pressed kisses along his neck and the smell of freshly washed clothes mixed with sweet post-sex. But most of all, you were consumed by the sight of the boy on top of you; eyes always searching yours to make sure you were comfortable.

It felt like you didn’t know how to breathe until this moment.

When he pulled out of you, there was a shy smile toying on his face.  He looked nothing like the previous times when the two of you had just finished having sex.  In those moments in the past, he would have a satisfied and confident smirk on his face, knowing he made you feel better than anyone else.  But even with his confidence, he still had those soft eyes though.

Soft eyes and a shy smile.

Shawn removed the condom and tossed it in the trash can that was next to his bed, crawling back under the covers.  He laid on his side, head resting on the pillow to face you, as he wiggled under the covers, getting in a comfortable position.

“Hi,” he said with a smile on his face.

You found his hand under the covers and slotted your fingers through his as you returned his soft smile, “Hey.”

Shawn gave your hand a slight squeeze and the two of you fell into silence staring at each other.  Normally, being under someone’s gaze, especially Shawn’s, would cause you to shudder back.  But not this time.  You felt the complete opposite; the more he stared at you, the more you felt desired––more confident.

He untangled your hands, and at first you were sad about the loss of contact, but he threw an arm over your waist and pulled you in close to his chest, pressing a kiss on the top of your head.  You fitted your arm around him and smiled into his bare chest, because yes, while holding hands is a nice gesture, it didn’t hold a flame to the feeling of leaning against his chest; your head rising and falling with his rhythmic breathing as your heartbeat tried to sync up with his.  While you felt the erratic beating of his heart, you were having trouble getting your heartbeat to slow down for him.

Maybe your heart would always beat a little faster for him.

[minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong]

You’ve Got Mail: Jungkook One Shot

Request: Hi! I really love your writings! If your requests are still open, can you pls write a Jungkook story? Ex-lovers in high school where he broke up with her because he got bored or something like that. Then they met again in university and wants her back again. (Angst but happy ending pls). Thank you!

Description: After a messy breakup with high school heartthrob Jeon Jungkook, you swore off dating once you got into college. Even though it left you lonely, it was easier than being hurt. But one fateful blind date changes everything for you, and you realize that maybe isolation isn’t the answer either.

Word Count: 12.9k

Pairing: Jungkook x (gender neutral) Reader

Tags: Barista!Reader, Graphic Design Student!Jungkook, Non-Idol!Au, Ex-Lovers to Enemies to Lovers (? I guess? Haha)

Genre: Whole lotta angst, fluffy ending

Warnings: None!

A/N: It’s been two weeks since I’ve posted wtf!! But I’m back and less than a week away from the Rose Bowl concert, holy cow. This ask has been in my inbox for MONTHS, so I need to say thank you to the anon who sent it for waiting so long! I really enjoyed this request, so I hope you guys like it too!

Also, if you want to follow me on Twitter please do so! My handle is @/plzpunchmebts. I would post a link, but rumor has it Tumblr killed links and I’m not taking any chances. I’ll be posting concert videos and pics there, so please give it a follow if you’d like to see that!

- Mercury

You were never too keen on blind dates. Everything about them felt…artificial. It wasn’t that you were a romantic, not especially, but you had to admit that being forced on a date by meddlesome friends took some of the magic out of dating. When Sua had mentioned a cute new boy in her class who was too busy studying to date, you had to admit the red flags began waving in your mind. Of course, you could relate. College was taxing and it was difficult to find time to even eat three meals, let alone date. Perhaps if things had cropped up organically, you’d have been more excited. But the forced union was a little cumbersome.

The nerves and the insecurity and the fear, none of it was especially fun. But Sua had been adamant that the two of you would hit it off, and with her eyes round and expectant, her brows raised, and her lips pouted, you really didn’t have any room to deny her. You figured one night of discomfort was better than months of guilt, and even though you figured things wouldn’t work out with this mystery man, you’d humor your friend. After all, making friends in college wasn’t easy.

Making friends in general wasn’t easy.

You sighed as you waited with your chilly hands clasped around your phone, standing at the entrance to the subway station where Sua had instructed. The mouth of the entrance was muggy with exiting passengers as the wave of people clambered up the steep stairs and onto the street, lined on all sides by buildings that reached the sky. Every now and again, someone would graze their shoulder against yours without apology, or perhaps step on the toe of your sneaker. You took a few inching steps backward, glancing over your shoulder to be sure you wouldn’t hit anyone. Not that they’d care. You backed up until you were out of the streamline and instead took up a quieter spot beside a fish cake vendor.

You checked your phone once again, furrowing your brow. Sue said eleven, didn’t she? You pulled up your messages and scrolled through carefully, head tilted to the side as you read her most recent text.

Sua: He said he’s running a little late, but he told me to tell you to wait.

You: I am waiting…

Sua: He says he’s sorry and that the subway is close to the terminal now.

You: That’s good.

Sua: He says sorry again.

Sua: You know, this is kinda dumb. Let me just give you his number so you can text him.

Sua: 51-XXX-XX24

You pursed your lips and crossed your arms over your chest. Sua was right, anyway. Making her your proxy wouldn’t really do you much good, considering she wasn’t here to help you in person. But wouldn’t it be a bit forward to just…text this guy? You didn’t know him yet. And besides, what could you say that Sua hadn’t? Hey, I’m doing this out of obligation, sorry to disappoint! or you can just go back home now and we can tell Sua things didn’t work out. You shook your head and rubbed your fingertip along the screen of your phone, working your lower lip between your teeth. You were just looking for an out. And really, you didn’t want to bail after Sua had gone through the trouble of setting things up. Still, just texting a stranger was a little…

But then again, he’d agreed to the blind date too, hadn’t he? It wasn’t like you were someone he was forced to talk to. He’d come on his own accord. Rubbing your bare forearm in the spring breeze with one hand, you used the other to tap the phone number and save it and, with only your index finger, drafted a slow message.

You: Hey, I’m Sua’s friend. I think we’re supposed to have a blind date today? Haha. That sounded kind of awkward…

Within seconds, your phone dinged with an incoming text and you jumped, nervous, before glancing at your phone once more.

Blind Date: Oh! Haha, hello. It wasn’t awkward at all. Ahh, I’m really sorry I’m late. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I bumped into a cyclist and he gave me an earful so I missed the first subway.

Blind Date: But I’m one stop away! You’re outside exit 2 right?

You: Yeah! I’m next to a fish cake stall. I’m wearing a red blouse, so you can’t miss me :-)

Damn, you thought, was that smiley face too much? You picked at the skin around your nail and glanced up to see the near-constant flow of people was still in full force, the subway exit spitting pedestrians onto the cement sidewalk in droves. You squinted a little, trying to keep a good visual on the staircase leading out. With a sigh, you leaned over your bag to slip your phone inside when it buzzed again. Despite yourself, your heart raced and you eagerly unlocked it to see if he’d responded.

Blind Date: Cute! Let’s get some fish cakes then before we go to the movie.

Blind Date: Ah, subway just pulled in! I’m only a few sweaty staircases away now~

Blind Date: :P

Without meaning to, you smiled a little. Your nerves settled as you leaned on your right foot, grinning softly at your screen. He seemed like a good guy, at least. You were relieved. After the jerks you dated in high school, you’d sworn off dating for a while. Maybe trying to cleanse your palate. It was…oddly refreshing to be talking to someone who didn’t make you feel like you weren’t all that important. Like you were disposable.

Still smiling, you responded with a simple text.

You: I’m excited to meet you :-D

“Y/N?” asked a familiar voice from beside you.

A voice that sent chills up your spine, and not the good kind.

You stiffened and turned, eyes wide, toward the one person you’d been hoping fervently to avoid for life. Standing with his big, brown eyes wide and his hair slightly windswept, Jeon Jungkook stared down at you like you were a ghost. Your lips parted and, heart hammering, you opened and closed your jaw a few times. What were you supposed to say to the boy who broke your heart when you were sixteen?

Years later and he was still the heartthrob he’d been back then, only now he looked…like a man. His cheekbones were prominent, strong jaw, heavy brow and a serious, toned build like he’d lived at the gym in the years between your meetings.

You swallowed hard and slipped your phone in your bag, crossing your arms and thus closing yourself to him. You glanced up at him with a furrowed brow. “Jungkook,” you said with a sigh. “I’m actually waiting here for someone and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, so if you could-,”

“You’re on a blind date?” asked Jungkook, lips agape.

You shrugged, glancing down the sidewalk toward the open maw of the subway exit, squinting in the hopes of catching your date’s attention. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Wait, but-,”

You sighed and shut him up with a single look his way, sharp, venomous. “I’m gonna to wait someplace else if you’re gonna keep standing beside me.”

“No, it’s not-,”

You huffed and shuffled into the crowd once more, walking purposefully away from him, but Jungkook was hot on your tail and wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Every few paces, you’d glance over your shoulder and see him following you feverishly, angling himself through the narrow spaces between bodies. But you kept going, pushing through, until you were blocks away from the subway station and Jungkook was nowhere to be seen.

You exhaled long and slow, patting your chest to calm down, and veered off toward the shops on your right, taking cover beneath an awning. Something in your bag vibrated and you jumped. Shit. Your date. The spring day sun was warm on your hands as you fumbled with your bag, grabbing your phone once again.

Blind Date: Where did you go??

You gripped your nose bridge and exhaled through your nose. Of course he’d be confused. You were lucky he was nice enough to reach out at all after seeing you weren’t where you said you’d be. You typed your reply quickly, desperate not to hurt his feelings.

You: God, I’m SO sorry. I ran into someone…from a long time ago lol. I couldn’t shake him off, so I ended up down the street a few blocks. By a Burger King.

You: I’m making a really bad impression, huh? I’m sorry. Just…he’s the LAST person I wanted to see today, you know?

You: Or…well, ever haha.

You awaited a response with bated breath, brows knit, and chewed on the inside of your cheek. This blind date was a wild card, really. Since you didn’t know him yet, you didn’t know how he’d respond. And it wouldn’t be his fault if he decided you weren’t worth all the hassle. Honestly, you might’ve been a little relieved if that was the case. Running into Jungkook…it made you remember why you avoided dating.

But despite your expectations, your phone buzzed again and you jumped to grab it.

Blind Date: This person…you really didn’t want to see him?

You: No. It’s just a painful reminder of the past.

You: !!! God, I keep saying awkward things !!! Haha, please forget I said anything. Where are you?

Blind Date: No! It’s not awkward at all. I’m just…

Blind Date: I’m sorry you had to see him then, I guess.

You: Jeez…

You: You’re a really nice guy, aren’t you?

Blind Date: Haha! I don’t know about that…

Blind Date: How about we reschedule for another time? I get the feeling you wouldn’t really be up for a movie right now anyway.

You panicked, heart kicking up. Despite everything you told yourself, you were a little bit happy he was being so understanding. And even though you were scared, you wanted to see if…well…if maybe this guy might be different.

You shook your head. Of course you shouldn’t think that way. Putting your heart out there to be toyed with and thrown aside…you didn’t want to go through it. Not really. And what relationship could be worth all that? You sucked in your breath and typed a quick response, ready to cast Jungkook and this blind date into the banks of your memory to gather dust. Even if this guy did seem sweet…

So had Jungkook, at first.

You: Yeah. That’s probably for the best. I work at that coffeeshop on campus, so I’ll shoot you a text once I get my schedule. :-)

You: I’m sorry for all the trouble today. Seriously.

You sighed and turned on your heel toward the street. If you kept on this sidewalk for a few more blocks, you’d find exit 3. And from there, it was only a 20-minute subway ride home whereupon you could finally collapse on your couch and wait for this cursed weekend to be over.

But before you could take a single step, a text came.

Blind Date: It was no trouble. :D I just feel bad that you had an unpleasant experience…

You: Hey, it’s not your fault haha.

You: Oh yeah! I never gave you my name, did I?

Blind Date: No, actually. Haha.

You: It’s Y/N.

Blind Date: It’s nice to meet you again, Y/N.

Blind Date: You can call me Nochu.

You: … Nochu … ?

Blind Date: Haha, it’s weird huh?

Blind Date: It’s a nickname I prefer.

You: Ah! I see. I’ll call you that then.

You: Nochu.

Blind Date: Y/N :-)

You stood and placed your hands on your lower back and stretched, groaning, a week later. Classes had been dragging lately and with several coworkers sick with a cold, you were one of the only employees left who wasn’t too ill to work. Your body felt like it was slowly failing you. Even your feet were sore from constantly running from place to place. And the quiet coffee shop before you made you feel like taking a long and well-needed nap. Mismatched chairs and bistro tables littered the trendy place and students congregated around the windows or the fireplace or the used bookshelf. Nobody really bothered you except to order or ask for to-go coffee sleeves. Mostly, you just stood there. For hours. Watching everything and nothing at once.

But today the energy was a little different. You’d heard from Sua that the graphic design students were approaching an important deadline, and from the looks of the crowd it seemed that deadline was heavy on everyone’s minds. Laptops and drawing tablets and plenty of coffee littered the tables as students chatted in small groups, none of them looking all too happy. You wondered what the project was, but didn’t want to bother Sua with a useless question. So instead, you just watched over customer’s shoulders as they added thick white lines to separate sections of illustrations or grabbed whole images with slender styluses and slid them to new spaces.

“Excuse me?”

You jumped and turned to the queue which up until moments ago had been completely empty. You made sure to manage your expression with a tight smile and bowed your head. “Sorry,” you said quietly, lifting your eyes to meet the customer.

And, to your shock and horror, you saw a familiar face amongst the group of thee college-aged boys. Jeon Jungkook stood in the middle, a half-pace behind the guy who had roused your attention, and if his expression was anything to go by, he was just as horrified to see you as you were to see him. You felt your back go perfectly straight, eyes wide and lips parted through which only shallow exhales escaped. Your palms grew sweaty and your heart thump-thumped to an uneven cadence.

“Um, what can I make for you?” you asked finally, managing a tight smile at the speaker of the group whose attention was affixed to the sign above your head, reading the menu with squinted eyes. “If you need more time…,” you hedged, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze which you felt burning circles into your face.

“Ah, no I’ve got it,” said the first guy with a polite smile your way. “I’ll have a green tea latte.”

You nodded and wrote it down on your notepad, just to keep things straight. Had your coworkers been stronger in their constitution, you’d have given the order to one of them to get started on. Perhaps you’d even get started yourself and leave the cashiering to them. But alas, you were alone and painfully aware of it.

“Will you be paying separately or together?” you asked, a tinge of hope in your voice. Please say together, please say together, please say together, you thought over and over, like an endless mantra.

The first boy chuckled and gave Jungkook’s shoulder a firm punch. “Like I’ll pay for these good-for-nothings,” he joked before returning his attention to you, smiling. He had a kind smile, but even that did little to ease your anxieties. You simply nodded and took his card as he stretched it out toward you.

The second guy approached, another brown-haired college kid with a polite grin and baggy spring clothes, and hummed. “I’ll do the caramel macchiato,” he said with a nod, fingers still clasping his chin as he scanned the menu and you scribbled his order. “Ah!” he said, pointing at you. You jumped, still on edge with adrenaline coursing through you, but quickly settled with a smile. “And a slice of banana bread.”

“Banana bread,” you mumbled to yourself as you wrote it. “Okay.”

The second handed you a credit card which you swiped quickly, eager to get this whole encounter over with. He took it back with a bow and a smile which you struggled to return because the moment you glanced over his shoulder you caught Jungkook’s gaze, intense, warm browns peering at you like you held answers he’d been searching for. Despite yourself, you blushed and glanced back toward your notepad.

Finally, the moment of reckoning arrived and your nerves made your hands a little shaky as they clasped the pen and paper. Your eyes wavered around the space between your own hands, measuring the empty air, desperate not to look at Jungkook again.

“Um…,” he mumbled, voice a low rumble in his chest. You almost wanted to squeeze your eyes shut altogether, even though you knew how dumb that’d make you look. “Can I get a strawberry smoothie?”

You almost laughed. It was so like him to come to a coffeeshop and order something like that. It was so like him to still have a weak palate when it came to bitter things. It was so like him to chase after you that day, to show up here on coincidence. It was so like him to be exactly who you remembered him to be. Exactly who he was back then.

Slowly, once you’d written his order down, you lifted your eyes and looked at him properly at last. He was dressed well, casual as you expected, all black as you expected, handsome as you expected. His hair was half-styled out of his eyes, and those eyes were the problem really. Dark and depthless, staring down at you with furrowed brow, jaw clenched. If anyone had doubts you two knew each other before, they’d certainly know now with the way he was watching you. The way he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for even a second.

“That’s all?” you asked.

“Um…yeah,” he responded, blinking at you like he had more to say.

By then, his friends had begun setting up camp amongst the mismatched sofas and recliners, setting up their computers. You caught sight of a drawing tablet as its corner poked out the top of the first boy’s backpack. So they were design majors too? Maybe your blind date had met one of these guys, then. But wait. If his friends were, did that mean…

“You’re a design major?” you asked, unable to stop yourself.

But once you said it, you wished to suck the words back inside like tapioca balls through a straw because across Jungkook’s face flashed a brief glimmer of excitement, eyes wide, mouth already open and poised to respond.

“Yeah!” he said, smiling a little. “I…uh, well you remember how I liked to draw.”

You nodded, typing the total into your cash register. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Listen, Y/N, I’m really sorry about-,”

“Let’s not rehash things here,” you said, eyeing him from beneath your lashes, scanning the shop like a conspirator in search of any prying eyes, any listening ears. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We’ve both moved on so let’s just keep it at that.”

Jungkook shut his mouth and, after a long moment, sighed. “Alright,” he said, sounding defeated. You hazarded a glance up at him and found his eyes long-sighted, gazing down at the counter between you without really looking at it.

“It’ll be 3,500 won,” you said, holding out one hand towards him.

He blinked and shook his head a little, as if returning to himself, and yanked his wallet from the front pocket of his loose joggers. He pulled out a bill and handed it to you. 20,000. Was that the smallest bill he had on him? You examined it with a thinly-veiled scowl. Of course, he was probably making good money doing something impressive. That was Jungkook anyway. The type of guy who just…made things come to him. Like the universe responded to his will. You sighed and went to work on the old register, punching in the amount and sliding the bill inside. You produced his change to find him already bounding toward his friends with his broad back to you.

Panicked, you rushed to the side of the barista station and called out to him. “Hey! You forgot your change!” you shouted, cupping one hand around your mouth. A few patrons turned to look at you and Jungkook.

He barely glanced back at you when he said, “You can keep it.”

And suddenly you were blushing for a very different reason.

That jerk, you thought to yourself as you watched him plug away at some ad he was working on on his tablet. Evening had fallen slowly upon the city of Seoul, and you wanted nothing more than to stroll out into the lavender evening, forgetting this whole unpleasant day. But instead, you had to wait for your coworker, Sora, to relieve you after making you work fifteen minutes past the end of your shift. Scowling, you kept a hawk’s eye on Jungkook and, unbeknownst to him, wished silent curses upon his head. I hope you go bald, you thought. Or worse, I hope you go out for fried chicken and you get only tendons. You crossed your arms and lolled your head to the side.

You shouldn’t have expected Jungkook to change. He’d always been a ‘my pace’ kind of guy. Maybe leaving that tip was his way of flexing his money to you. That he had enough money to just throw around at random baristas he used to hook up with in high school. Or maybe he was pitying you, looking down on you for working such a menial job. Either way, it made your blood boil. You felt the money crinkle in the pocket of your jeans with every step.

You’d briefly considered spitting in his smoothie, but you didn’t want to lose your job over Jeon Jungkook.

After all, you’d already lost your youth to the kid.

You glanced outside and watched the rainclouds gathering. Of course, you’d forgotten to bring an umbrella. It wasn’t like you’d checked the weather on the way out. Grumpily, you glanced down at your phone to check the time. Twenty minutes late now. What did Sora have to do that was so important? Normally, you’d complain to a friend. But Sua was about the closest you had these days and you weren’t sure you could trouble her with it.

But…were you really friends if you didn’t reach out to her from time to time?

Sighing, you glanced around the shop, making sure nobody was watching you, and unlocked your phone. So much had already happened that a quick message didn’t seem reasonable, but you couldn’t very well bury your head in your phone so after every few clicks you’d sweep your gaze around. You settled for an anxious few words between nervous glances at the rest of the shop. Realistically, you were off the clock anyway. But you didn’t want any bad Yelp reviews on your behalf.

You: Sua, on God today is cursed.

You waited a few moments for a response before growing impatient. Everything was taking forever today: that interaction with Jungkook, Sora taking over your shift, and now Sua not responding. Of course, she had no obligation to. She was probably busy with her own preparation much like the other graphic design students. You had no right to expect that of her.

Wasn’t that your problem from the start? Expecting too much?

Your phone buzzed in response as your mind began to drift toward melancholy thoughts and as you slid it open your eyes went wide and your fingertips chilled as the blood rushed to your cheeks.

Blind Date: Hah…I’m not Sua, but I am willing to listen if you need it…?

Blind Date: Was wondering when I’d hear from you.

Mortified didn’t even begin to cover it. You cupped a hand over your lips in horror, and just as you were about to melt into a pile of melted pride on the floor, the door swung open and a breathless Sora met your eyes with a nervous smile. You swallowed hard and pocketed your phone, offering Sora your full attention. He bowed his head to you, bending at the waist, as he approached the counter.

“I am so sorry for being late!” he shouted, loud enough for every patron to glance at him and, subsequently, you.

Your flushed face went beet red as Jungkook turned to stare at you, eyes wide. Of course, another embarrassing moment in front of that guy. “U-um, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” you said, waving your hands.

He sniffled and looked up at you, eyes red with impending tears. “I really didn’t mean to, but I fell asleep after class today and-,”

“Sora, it’s cool,” you said, removing your apron and hanging it on the rack behind you. “I’m gonna go now though so I can catch my subway.”

Sora stiffened and nodded, giving you a salute before scampering behind the counter and putting on his own apron. “I really am sorry!” he called after you.

You waved a hand and rushed out onto the sidewalk, lingering beneath the awning as the rain began to drizzle from overhead. You returned your attention to your phone, pushing your hair behind your ears so you could see properly, and swallowed your nerves.

You: I…am such an idiot.

You: I’m so sorry. I was at work and I’m not supposed to be on my phone, but I just…

You: Jesus, honestly you can just delete my number. I don’t think I can look at your contact anymore without cringing.

You were poised to take a step out into the rain when your phone vibrated again and you jumped to read it with barely shaking hands.

Blind Date: No! It’s okay. Seriously.

Blind Date: I can list dumber things I’ve done today alone.

Blind Date: Besides, sounds like you need someone to talk to anyway…?

You blinked at your phone screen a few times, cocking your head to the side. Somehow, his words had calmed you down, just a little. Your flaming cheeks were cooler now when you poked one with the pad of your finger. Your heart wasn’t a hammer against your ribcage. And as you glanced over your shoulder at the window into the coffeeshop, you found Jungkook was no longer in sight. With a few texts alone, things seemed a little better.

You: I won’t bore you with all of it, haha.

You: It was more of a Sua story anyway I think.

You: I’m trying to break through that kinda hesitant first stage of friendship with her and

You: Well anyway, I’m sorry to bother you. Hope you’re doing good?

Blind Date: Haha, hey I get it. Friendships are weird. Took me a while to make any real friends this year since I was so shy.

You: You were shy?

Blind Date: Oh big time. I still don’t really know how to approach people without saying or doing something wrong.

Blind Date: Like today. I think I came across like an asshole to someone.

Blind Date: That happens a lot actually -_-

Blind Date: Being nervous makes me act weird.

You: Really? You sound really confident over text.

Blind Date: Haha really? That’s good to hear at least.

Blind Date: I’m about the least confident person I know.

Blind Date: Whew, not exactly the impression I wanted to give to a possible date! Oops.

You smiled at your phone and began typing out a response when the door by your hip swung open and out walked Jungkook and his friends. Jungkook caught your eye as your smile was slipping into a scowl and you quickly righted yourself, looking away down the busy street. You held your phone close to your chest and popped a hip out to the side, feigning disinterest.

“See you guys tomorrow,” said one boy.

“Yeah,” responded Jungkook, and you saw out the corner of your eye that the guys parted ways. Jungkook lingered beside you underneath the awning, watching you keenly. “Who were you texting?” he asked.

You stiffened and glanced up at him with a frown. “Is that any of your business?” you asked.

He flushed a little, rubbed the back of his head, and let out a few breathy laughs. “Sorry. Guess not,” he said with a sigh.

For a few moments the two of you just stood there, silent. You weren’t sure what to do next without an umbrella, and you didn’t want Jungkook to think you were just…spending time with him for fun. But still, you didn’t move or make a sound. Just watched the steadily increasing rainfall splatter against the pavement, gathering in pools beside the sidewalk.

“Listen,” he began, turning to you properly. You eyed him from below with raised brows. “I really don’t want any bad energy between us, okay? I know things were messy before, but we’re in college now. It’s been years, right?” Some of the tension between you broke, but it was quickly replaced by a new tension: your outrage.

You blinked at him, working your jaw. “Jungkook, you don’t get to tell me when I’m allowed to stop being hurt,” you said, shaking your head. “Seeing you is a little painful, even though it’s been a long time. So…maybe just ignore me.”

Jungkook sighed and gripped the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, Y/N. You know I am.”

You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t really want anything to do with you,” you said, meeting his eyes. Your own calm surprised you. He looked desperate, brows knit and lips parted. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to just leave me alone.”

He blinked a few times, eyes wide. “I…I mean, we go to the same school now and everything. I just transferred this year and it’s…I don’t really know many people. It’s not like we’re strangers, so why should we act like we are?”

You swallowed your anger. “I’m gonna go now,” you said, adjusting your bag on your shoulder and walking out into the rain. You turned to look at him. “I don’t think you get what I’m saying, so it’s not worth repeating it again in a different way. Just…leave me alone.”

But before you could take a single step toward the subway entrance three blocks away, Jungkook was beside you in the rain, fiddling with his umbrella. “Wh-what are you doing? I just said to leave me alone!” you called at him over the sound of the rain around you.

Jungkook spat rainwater out from between his lips and shook his head as the umbrella finally popped open and the rain stopped pummeling you, now ricocheting off the nylon. You stared up at Jungkook underneath the dark umbrella, confined beneath it, confined to this small, enclosed space. Your chest was nearly touching his arm and his breath was warm as it fanned across your face. Strawberries. Like his smoothie. Rain was caught in his long eyelashes and his rosy lips were still parted, cheeks a warm pink. He stared down at you and for a brief moment, you felt a hot, shooting sensation running from the top of your head to your toes.

“Let me walk you to the station at least,” he said, scanning you.

You felt a little faint, and the sweet scent of his cologne only made you more disoriented. “I’m fine. It’s only a few blocks,” you said, but even you could admit your voice sounded weak.

He sighed, eyes falling to the ground. “I know I hurt you a lot back then, but…,” he began, then shook his head. “Even if it’s small, I wanna make it up to you somehow. So…let me walk you.”

You rubbed your bare forearm and inhaled sharply, shutting your eyes for a moment. “Fine,” you forced out and the two of you began walking.

“So…,” said Jungkook after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. “How was your date the other day?”

You groaned. “What we’re not gonna do is this.”

Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Just curious.”

You watched your hands, clasped in front of you, and sighed. “It didn’t happen,” you said. If nothing else, at least your time with Jungkook made you remarkably comfortable talking to him about your thoughts and feelings. “We cancelled.”

“Why?” he asked, brows high.

You shrugged. “After seeing you, I was kinda crabby so…”

“It was my fault?” He pointed with his free hand to his own chest, eyes wide.

“I mean, yeah but not really,” you said with an easy exhale. “It’s for the best anyway. He seems like a really nice guy. I don’t wanna end up hurting his feelings or something.”

“You’d rather be alone than risk having things end badly?” he asked.

You peered up at him. “Wonder why that is,” you mumbled before glancing away.

He sighed. “Sorry.”

“Mhm.”

The rest of the walk was silent as the two of you were forced to simply live with the words you’d exchanged, unable to do anything to alter the events that led you here. All you could do was walk forward, united under a shared umbrella for just a moment, until you ducked out from beneath it and disappeared down the subway station stairs, not even pausing for a moment to wave or say goodbye.

Blind Date: Yikes, did I really scare you off?

You raised your brows at your phone screen as the subway bumped along. It was too crowded to find a seat, so you stood cramped between a stout businessman and a high school girl, all of you holding the railing overhead for stability. You couldn’t help it, but again you smiled. After all the craziness that had come from the day, this stranger seemed to help you feel at ease.

You: Haha nope! It’d take more than that.

You: I bumped into someone I didn’t want to see, so I had to take care of that.

Blind Date: !!! Same person as before??

You: Yeah, if you can believe it lol.

Blind Date: (o_O)

Blind Date: How unlucky can a person be?

You: That’s what I’m saying. (￢_￢;)

You: That’s actually one of the things I was gonna complain to Sua about.

You: Y’know, teenage heartbreak and high school angst. Etc.

Blind Date: Hey, I said it before. I’d love to listen!

Blind Date: Aight, that was too enthusiastic. How about: I wouldn’t mind hearing you out!

You: Lol, good addendum.

You: I mean, it’s not like it’s really that serious. Just…in high school I was really shy. I didn’t have very many friends and I thought that I was fine on my own, you know?

You: But I guess I was lonelier than I thought haha. There was this really handsome guy in my class who started sitting with me on the roof at lunch. At first, neither of us really said anything. Just…sitting together.

You: But after a while, we got pretty close. Half a school year maybe. He said he came up there because the air was nice, but I had a feeling it had to do with the fact that he was a little too popular for his own good. Everyone wanted to talk to him. But he was like me.

You: Introverted, I mean.

Blind Date: Sounds like you two were good friends, then?

You: Yeah, until I caught feelings lol. Mistake.

Blind Date: You confessed??

You: Hehe…yes.

You: After a while being close, I felt really comfortable telling him anything. I told him it wasn’t like I was expecting him to date me or anything. I just wanted him to know so he could be a little more careful around me.

You: But it seemed like he reciprocated.

You: We started dating…I guess?

You: Never put a label on it, which was another mistake on my part for not asking.

You: But we did everything couples did, just…not really in front of anyone from school.

You: Never asked about that either lol.

Blind Date: Oh…

Blind Date: I mean…that doesn’t sound so good…

You: Haha, it’s probably exactly what it sounds like because once we’d been together for about a year, he ended things really suddenly. We were getting ready to apply for colleges and he was gonna go for one in a different city. He said it wouldn’t work out.

You: I fought really hard for it, but he started saying pretty mean things and I didn’t want to get hurt so I ended up conceding.

Blind Date: Mean things?

You: Things I don’t really wanna type out haha…

Blind Date: Shit! Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.

You: Hey, don’t worry! Old wounds. I should probably get over it, really.

You: No time like the present!

You: He said he never really liked me and he was only with me because he felt bad for me. Didn’t really love hearing that.

You: He said because I didn’t have friends, he pitied me. That was why he went to the roof to eat with me. Why he kissed me and all that. Took me on dates. ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌  Pretty dumb, imo, but that’s what he said and it seemed like he meant it anyway lol.

Blind Date: Y/N…

You: Hey, you asked!

Blind Date: That’s really shitty. You didn’t deserve that.

Blind Date: You carried that around with you all these years?

You: Hah, admitting it sounds kinda pathetic, huh?

You: I guess it’s not the sort of thing you just…get over. I think I really loved him too, so…

You: Anyway, seeing him now is really weird. Never thought I’d see him around here again, but suddenly he’s everywhere haha. Definitely doesn’t feel great, tbh.

You: Ew, sorry for laying all that on you. Not exactly small talk.

Blind Date: No!! Don’t apologize. I’m glad you talked to me about it. Honestly…I feel really sorry for you. It sounds like the whole thing affected you a lot. :-(

Blind Date: If it makes you feel better, I think I can understand you a little!

Blind Date: Like I said, I’m a bit shy myself. It’s not an issue of having friends, but finding good ones. It’s hard for me to socialize without saying something dumb and regretting it. So for a while, when I first started college, I isolated myself a lot. I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?

Blind Date: But recently, I’ve met some people who are really kind. People who don’t judge me when I mess things up (which is often haha). They help me communicate better.

You: You communicate really well, I think :-)

Blind Date: Haha, thank you. I’m actually blushing a little, whew. Uh, I guess it’s because it’s easier to type things out. Speaking is hard because you can’t just reword things before sending them. You say it out loud and it’s forever, you know?

You: Yeah! Jeez, that actually happened to me today (—_—)

You: I’m glad someone else understands it lol

Blind Date: Yeah, me too.

By the time you received the last message, you were already back inside your apartment, soaked from the walk home. You’d used your bag to cover your phone as you walked and typed, so now the thing was slumped against your dining chair like a sopping wet creature. But still, you smiled at your phone. Even though the conversation with Jungkook had been jarring, you’d almost forgotten it after chatting with your blind date. It felt oddly vulnerable to reveal so much to him, but his reaction had been really reassuring. You set your phone aside and padded to the bathroom to dry yourself a little with a towel, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. Your cheeks were a little flushed, eyes clear, and still smiling. You shook your head, trying to shake off your grin, but when you glanced back at your reflection it was still the same.

With the towel dangling across your shoulders, you returned to the living room and saw your phone lit up with another new text. Smiling, you unlocked it and read what he had to say.

Blind Date: Off topic, but uh…

Blind Date: Did you happen to catch the most recent episode of Game of Thrones?

Blind Date: Because I need to talk about it or I might explode.

You raised your brows and, without meaning to, you laughed. Was this okay? Was it alright to become close to someone like this again? Was it alright to be excited about someone again? You were fearful, cautious, hesitant. After everything with Jungkook, you’d found it impossible to trust people’s intentions. Were they being nice to you because they liked you or because they felt bad for you? Would you get hurt if you trusted the goodwill of the people around you?

You: Um…

You: CAN WE TALK ABOUT ARYA???

You weren’t going to talk to him again.

Well…that was your intention anyway. But by Friday, you’d spent every night up late chatting with this Nochu guy. It wasn’t like you talked about anything all that interesting or profound. Music you liked, games you played, anime you watched. You’d spent the better portion of Thursday night talking about whether Fullmetal Alchemist or Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood was superior. You weren’t sure why you were compelled to respond every time his name lit up your phone. And you really weren’t sure why you were the one reaching out to him now as you sat watching your professor detail the process of molecular movement across a cell membrane.

Perhaps you’d missed making easy conversation with someone you liked talking to…

After high school, you’d become something of a recluse. You spent more nights in than out and despite doing well in your classes, you’d found yourself…slightly lonesome. That’s why when Sua gave you her number after you’d successfully finished a project together a few months ago, you’d been quick to take it. Even though it was a little scary, some small part of you wanted to trust people again.

And maybe that’s why too. Why you were sending this stupid text in the middle of your lecture.

You: Hey dude. You free today?

Blind Date: Hm? Why?

You: Idk, Burger King or smth?

Blind Date: Hehe, are you trying to revive our dead romance?

You: O.O Our romance died already? After one failed date?

Blind Date: Hahaha I mean…you can try giving it CPR if you want…?

Blind Date: Mouth-to-mouth ;-D

You: Yuck, I take it back. Our romance is dead and buried.

You: Anyway, you free?

Blind Date: Uh yeah probs later. I’ve got class until 4.

Blind Date: Does that work for your Burger King plan?

Blind Date: I know it’s hard to get a reservation at that place on short notice >.<

You: I take it all back.

You: I have plans tonight, soz.

You: Talk to ya later, weeb.

You smiled and set your phone down beside your notebook, refocusing on your professor.  But your attention was quickly assuaged by your phone vibrating once more. You smirked down at it and, covertly, read the slew of oncoming text messages with a chuckle.

Blind Date: !!! That’s rude !!!

Blind Date: You can’t just offer a Burger King date and snatch it out from under me like that.

Blind Date: I’ll be mad if you jerk me around >:-(

Blind Date: You see that face? I mean BUSINESS.

You: Calm down lol, I was kidding.

You: Let’s meet at the Burger King next to the ramen place near campus?

Blind Date: Hehe, sounds good :-P

Blind Date: Ah, but don’t be too surprised when you meet me, okay?

Blind Date: I don’t want you fainting when you see my handsome face 8-)

You: Mhm, I’ll be sure not to faint.

Blind Date: I mean…a little fainting is fine…

You: Haha shut up. I’ll see you there. Looking forward to putting a face to the texts!

Blind Date: Hopefully my face doesn’t disappoint lol.

You: Yikes, mine either.

Blind Date: Yours won’t.

Blind Date: Haha, I’m sure you’ll look great. That’s what I meant.

Blind Date: Ew, all of that was hard to read. Forget I said anything hhhhhh.

You smiled fondly at your phone before sliding it into your bag. “You look kinda smitten,” said Sua from beside you.

You jumped and glanced at her as the rest of the class began packing up. She was grinning at you like a co-conspirator, brows low, knowing grin on her face. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been texting someone named Blind Date during every class period for a week,” she said, cocking a brow. “I take it you guys hit it off?”

You felt yourself go warm. Not like with Jungkook the other day, but like something else. Something a little deeper than a physical reaction. Nonetheless, you cleared your throat and smiled at Sua. “He’s a good guy. I think we could be good friends.”

“Friends?” she asked with a laugh, flitting her hand as the two of you stood together. “Sounds boring. Get a smooch or two out of it or it’s a bust.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t really know if he’d be interested in me that way.”

“What about you?” she asked, eyeing you. “Would you be interested?”

You stared at her for a long moment, eyes wide, and opened and shut your mouth a few times. “I…,” you began, then glanced at your feet. You followed her out into the hallway where students hurried by in a flash beside you. “I mean…”

Sua paused her walking to stare back at you, her teasing grin replaced with a genuine one. “Wait, do you actually like him-like him?” she asked, eyes alight.

You stiffened, scratching your arm, and sighed. “Jeez, I don’t know! Maybe,” you said, waving your hands. “Forget it, I’ve got another class soon.”

She laughed as you maneuvered around her through the hall, calling after you. “You’re cute when you’ve got a crush!”

You sat at a booth by yourself at Burger King, waiting for your not-date to show up. It had only been a few minutes and already your anxiety was starting to speak in your ear. He’s not showing up, it whispered, You’re an idiot. And maybe you were. Looking around the fast food joint, you saw more than a few couples, sitting side-by-side or gazing at each other over fried chicken. You didn’t envy them. Not that way. Just…maybe it was the human connection you missed more than anything. Last time you’d been in this situation, you were still deeply in love with Jeon Jungkook.

You were sixteen and you sat twiddling your thumbs on a suburban bench overlooking Seoul. Trees swayed in the summer breeze and carried with them the scent of young hopefulness, naivety in the form of dogwood blossoms. You watched the uneven cityscape before you as it resisted the pull of the wind, and far in the distance, slightly glittering in the sunlight, the Han River. Jungkook had said he’d be there at exactly two. It was ten past, and you were getting a little nervous. You’d confessed not a week prior during the last week of school, and to your shock Jungkook had been receptive. He hadn’t said anything bold like ‘I like you too’ or ‘let’s date’ but he had invited you out for some ice cream and you figured that was much the same thing for him.

Maybe he’s just being nice, you thought to yourself with a sigh. You’d spent a long time picking out the right outfit, getting your hair to lay just right. And still, you didn’t feel quite up to par with him. Girls were always confessing their love for him. Guys too. What made you any different than the dozens of other hopefuls? He probably won’t come…

“Y/N!” called a voice from the winding, hilly street.

You jumped and turned, and your heart swelled as you saw Jungkook running down the sidewalk toward you, grinning from ear to ear. And that was what did you in. That sincerity, that vigor, that enthusiasm…all for you. You stood up to meet him and chuckled as he caught his breath, patting his chest.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, panting. “My mom started lecturing me, so I got tied up.” After a few moments regaining his composure, he finally looked at you properly and when he did, you noticed his cheeks going red hot, eyes round. “Oh, wow,” he said, glancing away with a jittery laugh. “S-Sorry, you…you look really nice.”

You felt a little faint. You’d spent months pining after this kid, pining after this purity you kept glimpsing in him, and now…

He was saying you looked nice.

It was almost enough to knock the breath out of you.

You smiled at your shoes and rubbed your neck. “Th-thank you,” you said.

He laughed, nervous once more, and gave your shoulder a shove. “Hey, don’t get all clammy on me, okay? Nothing’s weird between us. Just…two pals…on a date.”

You jumped and stared up at him with unbridled surprise. “Date?” you asked, shameless hope in your voice.

He laughed, eyes turning to crescents, and nodded. “What else would it be?” Of course. Of course, since it was Jungkook, the answer was just that simple, wasn’t it?

You swallowed hard and tried to manage your expression, but you couldn’t fight the smile teasing your lips. “Oh,” you said, letting out a breathy laugh.

He examined you for a moment, scanning you. You weren’t used to going out with friends, let alone dating. All of this was new and exhilarating to you. But you felt a sudden wave of shyness that you couldn’t fight off, and a slightly pleasant self-consciousness. You felt him looking at you, and it didn’t feel like he hated looking. You became very aware of your body, each limb, each finger. Still smiling a little, you laughed again, unsure of what else to do. These were uncharted waters, after all.

“Hm,” he said, bending down to meet your eyes. You blushed and leaned away a little, but he was blushing too and it made you feel better knowing perhaps he was just as nervous as you. “Lemme prove it.”

Your eyes went wide, but before you could say or do anything, Jungkook closed the distance between you, tipping his chin so that your lips met. His lips were warm and soft. They tasted like chapstick and banana milk. You didn’t move, not a single muscle, and perhaps this worried him because he was quick to lean away and stare down at you, fresh insecurity on display in his warm brown eyes.

“Sorry! Was that too sudden?” he asked, laughing and glancing away, down the quiet street. “Jeez, I got carried away, huh? Ha, I’m sorry.”

Before he could spiral, you took a timid step forward and pushed yourself onto your toes. Gently, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself nearer to him. He jumped and looked at you with stunned eyes. But you didn’t give him a chance to think too much, because before long you were kissing him, head tilted to the side, eyes shut. Without much pause, his hands found your waist and stayed there, respectful, unsure.

And somehow, you’d summoned the courage to do it. To kiss him back.

Because he showed up, after all.

He didn’t leave you alone…

Fifteen minutes now and you were beginning to worry. You reasoned that at least there were worse places to be stood up. A nice steakhouse, for instance. At least here you weren’t the only solo diner. But nonetheless, the feeling of a deep gut-punch was only growing. Dread and disappointment mingled into a bitter cocktail in the pit of your stomach. Wouldn’t this just be…poetic? Getting stood up for your first date after years of fear and emotional isolation?

Wouldn’t that be exactly what would happen?

Thirty minutes. At first, you tried to tell yourself he was probably just running late from a class. After all, the walk from campus alone was around seven minutes. Maybe he’d gotten released late. Maybe he’d gotten held up with a professor or classmate. You stared at your Whopper with dead eyes now, watching the cold burger as all the heat drained from it. It was too late to save it now. And perhaps it had never been meant for you to eat anyway. Maybe it was your destiny to become a vegetarian or something.

Nonetheless, you sent a text.

Even though it felt pathetic.

You: Hey, uh…we still on for Burger King?

You: No rush, haha.

You: Just a little worried…

Was this revenge for ruining the first date? Some elaborate plot to get back at you? He seemed like a really sweet guy, but so had Jungkook after all. After several minutes without a reply, you began to accept the fact that you’d been thoroughly stood up. Your throat constricted, eyes going a little hazy, and resolved to wait a little longer. Just a little.

Forty-eight minutes. No reply and no date. By then, plenty of customers had come and gone through the front doors, none of them him. You couldn’t bring yourself to take even one bite of food, the money wasted, the time wasted too. How much time had you wasted, really? How much of your life had you spent watering dead plants?

When Jungkook told you he wanted to break up, you’d been in disbelief. The two of you were close, so close it almost hurt, and the sudden end felt like a slap in the face or a jolt to the heart. You’d fought him in his room that night, the sunset turning the ends of his hair gold, turning his eyes gold too. He had no right being so handsome at a moment like that. You asked for a reason and he said he didn’t want any strings going in to college. He wanted to be unaffiliated. But you couldn’t accept that. You couldn’t accept that the time you spent together had meant so little to him, that the relationship was a dead plant from the start.

I was only dating you because I felt bad for you! he’d shouted once he’d had enough. Ever wonder why I never told anyone about us?! You’d been stunned then, stunned silent. Your brain was failing to process his words. He’d never spoken that way to you before. How much time had you spent in love? How much time had he spent pitying you? I was your only friend, for God’s sake! What did you expect me to do?!

Perhaps you’d been right after all. Perhaps giving yourself to other people was too dangerous, too painful. Perhaps loving someone wasn’t worth it, perhaps it could never be completely reciprocal. Perhaps any relationship you had would be a waste of time. Perhaps all you were destined to do was water dead plants until finally, you decided it was enough.

One hour. You stood up from your seat, wiped beneath your eyes as the tears you’d been fighting finally crested over your bottom eyelid, and carried your tray to the garbage. You slid your trash into the bin and, sniffling, wandered out toward the exit. Customers avoided walking too close to you, likely noticing the tears that were now tracking stubbornly down your cheeks. You would have wiped them, had you had the energy to care.

But all you wanted was to go home and be alone.

Alone for a while.

You pushed your way outside, taking in the fresh spring day. No more rain, even though you would have welcomed it. It could have concealed your crying, your red nose and swelling eyes. You could have cowered beneath a bus stop and nobody would have noticed you. Nobody would have noticed.

Instead, the spring day was gorgeous, teasingly beautiful. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, and people milled about through the street, smiling and chatting easily. Sniffling, you wiped your nose and joined them, walking down the sidewalk toward the subway entrance near campus.

You were overreacting. You didn’t even know this guy that well yet. He wasn’t a boyfriend, he wasn’t someone you’d given your whole heart to. He hadn’t betrayed you, because deep down you’d expected this. Maybe that’s what upset you so much. Being proven right.

You exited the crowd of people a block from the Burger King and walked with your head down toward the subway entrance. You were about to step on to the escalator when you heard someone call your name.

“Y/N!”

You turned slowly, eyes bleary from all the crying, and rubbed your tears away to see them clearly. Again, like he had some sort of sense for when you were most humiliated, Jungkook stepped toward you. His face was contorted in worry, thick brows knit, mouth agape as he stared down at you, scanning you.

You sniffled and nodded. “What?” you asked.

“What are you doing?” he asked softly, taking you by the crook of the arm and leading you toward a more sparsely populated alley beside the sidewalk. You didn’t fight. Didn’t have it in you. “Are you okay?” he asked, his own eyes watery as he looked down at you, forcing your head up as he held it between two big, warm hands.

You kept your gaze on the dirty ground. “Let me go,” you said, but it was weak.

“Y/N…,” he whispered, smoothing his thumb against your cheek. “Jesus.”

“What?” you asked, looking at him quick, fierce. “Are you pitying me?”

His eyes went wide and he shook his head. Looking at him now, he seemed pretty shaken himself. Why did the two of you keep bumping into each other like this? “No! No, that’s not it.”

“Then what?” you asked, shaking his hands off your face. “What is it, huh? Here to show off your money? Show me how good you’re doing while I’m working minimum wage? Huh? Do you like feeling superior?”

He swallowed hard, his expression revealing some sort of hurt you couldn’t name. “No! Please, it’s not that! Let me explain-,”

“No! You don’t have any right to ask me to listen to you!” you said, sobbing. You wiped your eyes with your forearm and shook your head. “Just leave me alone! Everyone!” you shouted.

Jungkook took your shoulders in his hands to keep you still and you tried a few times to shake yourself free, but to no avail. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

You kept crying, the ancient pain welling up from inside you like some age-old reserve finally erupting. Your body rocked with the force of your tears. “Isn’t it pathetic? The minute I start trying to reach out, I get stood up?” you asked with a manic laugh. “Doesn’t that just make you feel so good? Aren’t I pitiable?”

Jungkook’s own tears were pooling in his eyes and you could see them there, threatening to fall. “Please,” he said quietly.

You shook your head. “Isn’t this what you want? Someone to look down on? Someone to feel bad for?” you asked, face wet from the tears. “Can’t you just leave me alone?!” you shouted, loud enough to rouse the attention of a few people on the sidewalk behind Jungkook’s back.

Jungkook, without another word, sniffled sharply and pulled you flush against his chest. You struggled against his strong hold for a few moments, writhing, before finally submitting. Without even meaning to, you wrapped your arms around his torso and sobbed into his black shirt. He held you close, resting his cheek on your head. You could have sworn you felt a few tears hitting your shoulder.

But before you could get too comfortable in his embrace, you pushed yourself away and stared at him, bitter, angry, from several feet away. You looked at him like a feral thing, like an alleycat. And the way he watched you was different than it was that day by the bench. It was worried now, like a shadow had crossed over his face.

“I’m sorry-,” he began.

You shook your head and shoved past him. “Don’t talk to me. Ever,” you spat as you walked by, rejoining the stream of people on the sidewalk toward the subway entrance.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Sua as the two of you left class.

Half a week had passed, and you were eager for more time to distance you from that unpleasant day. You’d received a slew of texts from your blind date, all of which had gone unanswered. They ranged from the typical I’m so sorry texts to more in-depth explanations. Apparently, he’d gotten nervous. Cold feet, he’d said. Nervous for what, you didn't know and you wouldn’t ask. You were meeting at a Burger King for God’s sake. What could he have been that nervous about?

You glanced at her and offered a tight smile. “Mhm. I’m good. Just…uh…gotta get to work later so I’m thinking about that,” you said, over-explaining. Of course, lying just wasn’t for you.

Sua sighed and hooked an arm around your elbow, leaning close to you as the two of you walked down the hallway. You edged away just slightly, and it seemed she noticed as she turned to you with wide eyes. You hated to admit it, but everything with that Nochu guy had made you wary of even Sua. They did know each other after all. Had this been one big setup from the start? Were the two conspiring to hurt you?

You shook your head and patted her hand with a smile. Of course not. Of course that was crazy. But…something about this whole thing had you feeling crazy. “Sorry,” you said quietly. “Just…met up with someone from my past the other day and it didn’t feel so good.”

She raised her brows. “What? You never mentioned anyone like that before…,” she said, her brows lowering. She looked a little hurt.

You swallowed hard. “Ah, well it’s no big deal,” you said, flitting a hand with a choppy laugh. “It’s in the past for a reason.”

She pouted. “You know you can talk to me, right?” she said, eyeing you.

And with those words, your chest constricted a little and a small pang of guilt clenched your stomach. You didn’t want to end up hurting her. She was sweet and she wanted to be close to you. But what could you do if you just weren’t ready for that? How could you tell her you may never be ready?

Instead, you turned to her and offered a smile. “I know.”

Blind Date: Y/N…

Blind Date: Please respond. Please.

Blind Date: I really really want to explain everything to you.

Blind Date: I know I really hurt you, but I want to explain.

Blind Date: Isn’t that selfish of me?

Blind Date: To hurt you and then ask you to listen to me?

Blind Date: I’m sorry.

Blind Date: I’m selfish.

You sighed as you watched your phone. The coffeeshop was quiet, fewer patrons now that the design students had finished their projects, and you felt safer looking at the onslaught of texts that just wouldn’t stop flooding your phone. You know you can talk to me, right? That’s what Sua said. She had reached out her hand to you.

And you’d pulled back.

You eyed your phone for a long few moments. Wasn’t it time to stop running away because you were scared of being hurt? Wasn’t it time to stop expecting someone to walk all the way across the tightrope to you and start walking to meet them in the middle instead?

Wasn’t it wrong to punish people for something someone else did?

You: Hey…

You: Sorry I haven’t responded. I just needed space I think.

Blind Date: Shit, I know. I’m so sorry.

Blind Date: You know I care about you though, right?

Blind Date: You know I wasn’t trying to hurt you on purpose, right?

You: I mean, we’ve only known each other a few weeks haha.

You: Honestly, I probably overreacted.

You: After everything that happened with that guy I told you about, I think I’m just a little too sensitive. And I took it out on you. And that was wrong.

Blind Date: No, no! Please don’t apologize. Jesus. It’s entirely my fault. All of it.

You: Haha it’s really not. I shouldn’t hold you and him to the same standards when you’re different people. That’s on me.

Blind Date: Can I see you?

You: Huh? So suddenly? I’m working…

Blind Date: The coffeeshop on campus?

You: Yeah…

You: Don’t come right now though!

You: I won’t be able to talk to you anyway.

Blind Date: I’ll wait. When do you get off?

You: Nine…

Blind Date: I’ll see you at nine.

You blushed, staring down at your screen. Since when was he so direct like this? And why did it make your heart race, just a little?

Sua was right. You definitely had a crush…

You watched the front doors as you began cleaning up the coffeeshop. Closing time was coming soon, and with five minutes until nine you were beginning to feel that festering fear that you’d be stood up again. But as that voice returned to your mind, you were quick to quiet it. You wanted to believe in people again. You couldn’t live your life all alone.

So you swept beneath tables and propped chairs atop them. You cleaned the windows. You hummed a pop song to yourself, trying to keep your mind busy. When you glanced outside, you noticed the spring showers had returned and the rain was falling in bullets from the dark sky. With a sigh, you settled down on one of the recliners by the window, watching cars and buses and people speed by. You wondered which one would come inside despite the sign now reading ‘closed’. You wondered who this person was.

Before you realized it, you were dozing off, struggling to keep your eyes open as you reclined against the comfortable cushions. Your breathing became more rhythmic, deeper in your chest with each inhale, and you snuggled into the back of the recliner with a heavy sigh.

And that’s when you heard it. The distinctive ting of the bell dangling over the front door. Your eyes opened wide and you saw his reflection in the mirror beside you. Tall, dressed in dark clothes, hoodie up over his head and an umbrella in his hand, trailing droplets of rainwater onto the wood floor. You wanted to greet him right away, to get a proper look at him, but with your heart racing the way it was you couldn’t find the courage. It was enough for you just to respond to his texts. And now he was here, corporeal, right behind you.

You shut your eyes tight and feigned sleep.

“Y/N?” he called, and somehow you recognized his voice.

No way.

It couldn’t be…

You kept your eyes shut and curled your knees closer to your chest. Slowly, you heard him mill around the shop before pausing beside your recliner. His footsteps got closer, rounding the side of the chair to stand right in front of you. And, quietly, he laughed. And you were certain now. You knew exactly who he was.

You felt a warm, big hand press against the side of your head, smoothing your hair down, and heard a fond sigh. “Jeez,” he mumbled. You felt him crouch down beside your feet and his arm dropped to rest on the arm of the recliner. He gently rocked the chair back and forth for a moment, humming. “Don’t hate me too much, okay?” he asked in a whisper.

And, without another moment’s hesitation, you opened your eyes and stared right down at him. “Jungkook…?” you asked, scanning his face.

His eyes were round with shock and his whole person was wet. He gazed up at you from where he crouched on the floor and, mouth agape, said nothing. Wordlessly, you reached a hand out and touched his cheek with the pad of your index finger. Soaking wet. You sighed and pushed to your feet. Jungkook stumbled a little to accommodate you as you slipped past him to the counter. You rifled through the cabinets before producing a towel. By then, he’d followed you to the counter and was waiting on the other side. Sighing, you waved a hand, signaling for him to join you behind the register. He jumped and followed your silent command, and suddenly you were staring at his broad chest up close.

You swallowed your nerves and draped the towel atop his head. “Dry off,” you said, hopping up to sit on the counter. The lights in the shop were low, and the music still bumped lowly through the stereo. It might have been romantic, if it was anyone else. “Then we can talk.”

He nodded and fluffed the towel through his hair, obscuring his face from view for a few peaceful seconds. “I…I know I have a lot to explain.”

“Yeah,” you said.

He peeked out from behind the towel with one eye, watching you. “Are you mad?”

“Fuming, actually.”

He nodded and let the towel drop to his shoulders. “I expected that,” he said with a sigh. He came to stand in front of your knees, looking right at you with enough sincerity to knock the breath from your lungs. Just like that first date. “I don’t know where to start.”

“So you know Sua?” you asked, letting your heels bounce against the counter’s cabinets.

“Ah, uh, yeah,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “We’re in the same major, so…”

“And you transferred here?”

“Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes. “It was…no good out in Busan. I missed home too much.”

You nodded, watching your thighs on the counter. “Figures.”

He chuckled wryly. “You know me too well.”

“Thought I did.”

Carefully, he took a single step forward and you jumped, meeting his eyes like a frightened prey. “I never meant for you to carry all that with you for so long,” he said, brows knit and eyes hazy like he may cry. “I didn’t expect you to be so hurt.”

“That’s stupid,” you said. “You can’t tell someone you were only with them out of pity and expect them not to be hurt.”

“I know, I just…Jesus, I’m just stupid,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair. “Since I was moving away, I didn’t want you to waste your time waiting for me to come back, so I wanted to give you a clean break. Since I knew you wouldn’t wanna break up just because of distance.”

You stiffened. “You…what?”

“I didn’t mean it,” he said. “Any of it.”

You felt like you’d been hit right in the diaphragm, like when you play dodgeball and someone throws a ball at your chest. You sat up straighter and stared at him, watching him carefully. “You lied?”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes seriously. It really looked like he might have cried. “I didn’t think it was fair to keep you from meeting new people and making new connections.”

“Then why didn’t you tell anyone we were dating?” you asked, brow low, scanning him for any signs of insincerity.

His eyes went wide. “I…I told you before, my high school friends…they weren’t so great,” he said, shaking his head. “I meant it when I was texting you about all that. How t’s hard for me to find good people.”

“And you didn’t show up to Burger King last time because…?”

He sniffled. “I meant what I said about that too. I was…really nervous. I was scared you’d be disappointed when you found out it was me.”

You sighed. “Why weren’t you just honest with me from the start?” you asked, all animosity draining from your voice as you saw him wiping his red, swelling eyes. “Back in high school. Why didn’t you just tell me all of it then?”

He sniffed and looked away. “I was scared you’d think less of me if you knew I was so insecure. And I didn’t want you to wait for me in college, not when you could’ve been out making new friends.”

“Well, the opposite happened actually,” you said with a dry laugh. “I got really worried that any friends I made would be doing it out of pity.”

Jungkook stiffened. “You…you did?”

You nodded. “Yeah…”

“Shit,” he breathed out, gripping his forehead with two hands. “I’m so stupid!”

Distantly, the sound of the rain picked up outside. You nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, looking at you once more, startling you with his sincerity. “I messed up so bad. I messed up everything.”

You blinked at him, standing nearly at eye-level, and slowly reached out to wipe beneath his eyes with your fingertips. “Well, you were right about one thing. I wouldn’t have accepted it had you not said what you said.”

He furrowed his brow and leaned into your touch. “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” you said.

He swallowed hard and you watched his Adam’s apple bob. “Really?”

“Well, yeah,” you said with a shrug. “Now that I know everything, it’s hard to be mad at you for being a jerk when you were really just being an idiot.”

He stared at you, inching forward so he rested just between your knees. “I’m so sorry,” he said again.

“Yeah, I know,” you said, letting out half a chuckle as you let your hands drop to his shoulders, giving them a pat.

“Really,” he said, nodding once as he stared right into your eyes.

“Jungkook, it’s-,”

Before you could finish, he had closed the distance between you, one hand grasping your jaw as he pressed a kiss to your lips. You jumped back, eyes wide, and stared at him in shock. He too looked shocked, like he hadn’t meant to do it at all. He shook his head, eyebrows knit, stuttering out syllables that didn’t add up to anything.

“I-I-you-I mean-,” he sputtered, irises shaking. You noticed no small margin of fear in his eyes, like he was terrified he’d messed things up again.

I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?

The words he’d trusted you with through the screen, his sincere thoughts. He really regretted it a lot, didn’t he? Your expression softened as he continued struggling to find words, and, without even really meaning to, you wrapped your fingers around his neck. He didn’t seem to notice, or he was too spooked to comment on it, but you slowly pulled him closer. Just like that day in high school, just like it was when you’d first entered hopefully into this fateful relationship, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, shutting your eyes. Stunned, he was completely still for a moment before eventually his hands moved to your hips, then slid along your sides, then hooked around your lower back. You hadn’t intended it, but the kiss was getting steamier with each passing moment. You felt his hot breath on your skin as he pulled back to adjust his position before crashing into you again.

As the fever settled down, Jungkook was the first to pull away, but only by a faction so he could speak. “I love you,” he whispered.

You stared wide-eyed at him, only inches away from you, eyes heavy-lidded and forehead resting just barely against yours. “O-Okay,” you said. It was all you could manage.

He chuckled once, still embracing you as he stood between your legs. “That’s it?”

“You expect me to say it back?” you asked.

He smiled, staring down at you. “I guess not.”

“You’re gonna have to give me some time,” you said with a nod.

He nodded too, shutting his eyes as he held you close. Slowly, he moved to rest his forehead against your shoulder, resting against the crook of your neck. “I understand.”

“Like…a lot of time probably.”

“I know.”

You let out a shaky exhale and only then did you realize your hands were shaking. As silly as it seemed, this reunion was pretty jarring to your system. The foundation on which you’d rebuilt your sense of self had broken down beneath your feet, leaving you to stand among the rubble once again. Just like back then. Everything you thought you understood had been proven wrong.

But nonetheless, you smoothed your palms against his back and rubbed gently. Not to comfort him, but to comfort yourself. To let yourself know that, even though it was scary, it was okay to trust people sometimes. Self preservation shouldn’t come at the sacrifice of human connection. And even though you knew the road ahead was going to be long and that trusting Jungkook again would take a long time and a lot of work on his end, you were ready to try.

So, as the two of you left the shop under one umbrella, you drafted a text.

You: Sua, I have SO MUCH to tell you.

[roobierubyroobieruby]

Clean

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2,655

Warnings: angst, awkwardness, resolution?

Summary: It’s been 3 years since you last laid eyes on Steve, last had contact with him. Now you had to be in the same room for Wanda’s birthday and you had no idea how it would feel to see him again after how it had all ended.

A/N: So this is a continuation of “I Remember It”, however either could be read on their own or sequentially. I was originally going to leave IRI as a solo but the person who inspired that fic had to make a reappearance and I came face to face with them for the first time since IRI’s events. I also had a request to write some form of conclusion so I felt it was time. As Taylor Swift was the lyrical inspiration behind IRI, it’s only fitting she is the lyrical inspiration for this one (“Clean” by Taylor Swift). Here is the resolution, I hope it’s everything you need anon, because it was for me <3

The drought was the very worst (ahh, ahh)

When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

It was months, and months of back and forth (ahh, ahh)

You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

“Dinner at the tower?” You hoped the nerves weren’t showing through your voice. Wanda’s birthday was coming up and she wanted to have an actual celebration since everyone would be here at the same time for once. She excitedly nodded, clasping your hands.

“Please come, I want to have everyone I love there!” She had honed her gift over the years, now keeping the minds of those around her locked out unless she was told she could listen in. You had no need to worry she’d hear the fearful thoughts that he will be there.

He will be there, which means Sharon will be there, and they will be there together. He will be there, in the same room as you, for the first time in the 3 years it had been since he disappeared from your life. It had been 3 long years of repairing the damage he’d caused, learning to trust and love yourself again, and trust others once more. No easy feat given the life you had before this one. You had been making strides, doing so much, and now this was the test to see if you could withstand his presence and not let it topple your progress. He was a storm in your life, but now you’re a hurricane.

“Of course I’ll be there! As if I would let you celebrate without me!” Pulling her into a tight hug, you buried thoughts of him in the dark box in the corner of your mind with his name on it. 

Hung my head, as I lost the war

And the sky turned black like a perfect storm

Sitting on your bed, laptop and papers scattered across the blankets, your mind kept coming back to the dinner. You had 3 weeks to prepare yourself in the hopes that your 3 years of learning to accept what happened and move on would be enough to be unshakeable in his presence.

You couldn’t help but wonder what would happen. Will he ignore you, a ghost in the room? Will he try to talk to you as if nothing ever happened? Will it be noticeably awkward as the two of you move around the room, hardly coming within 10 feet of each other, somehow even at the small dinner table? 

You had never officially met Sharon either, only heard of her. You had to wonder if she knew anything of your time with the team. If she knew about you.

You had too many questions, too many variables to consider, and none brought you peace. No path felt like it was the right one to take. It all led back to the storm.

The rain came pouring down when I was drowning

That's when I could finally breathe

And by morning

Gone was any trace of you

I think I am finally clean

The dreams had been coming gradually. At first, his face only made a fleeting appearance, or you thought you’d heard his voice call out to you in his dreams. 

As the days sped by, taken up by missions and work, they came more frequently and intense. That sweet smile of his, or comforting words telling you how important you were to him, that you were capable of anything. Telling you he loved you, how he had nightmares of you leaving him, never wanting to be the first to let go.

Then you’d wake up. You could still feel the slight sting in your chest when you thought of everything that happened, and you wondered if you’d ever feel ok again. You longed to feel nothing, for indifference, but you couldn’t wish it never happened. You didn’t know where that left you on the spectrum of moving past it all.

~

Staring at your calendar on your wall, you could feel the ball of tension in you ready to snap. Tonight was the night. You had come home late from a mission, using the morning to rest and debrief, so you’d hardly had time to yourself. You supposed it was a good thing, it meant you couldn’t work yourself up even more over the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ of the night. 

You couldn’t put it off any longer. You had delivered your present to Wanda in person, the dread of catching a glimpse of him almost breaking through your calm demeanor. Wherever he was, he stayed there, giving you a quick and clean exit from Wanda’s room. Now back at home, you categorically started doing your makeup to give your mind something to focus on.

You didn’t want to admit it, but you wanted him to regret what he did. You hoped he’d see you and wish he’d stayed, at the very least kept you in his life.

You opted to leave your hair down and natural, feeling less exposed. You were already on edge, the knot in your stomach getting tighter as the minutes ticked by. Hastily pulling on a black bodysuit with long, high-waisted, tan flare pants, you slipped your black heels on and scraped your things into your handbag. Time had officially run out, you had to go.

There was nothing left to do (ahh, ahh)

When the butterflies turned to dust that covered my whole room

So I punched a hole in the roof (ahh, ahh)

Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you

Nat had gone ahead, helping Vision to set up the dining area and cook. She was aware of how this evening was weighing on you, preparing to intervene at your request or steal you away if you needed a minute. Tonight was about Wanda, and you didn’t want to ruin that with something as trivial as a friendship-relationship-nothing situation from three years ago.

Shaking your head, you put in your headphones to drown out your thoughts as you navigated the streets and subways. You insisted on getting there yourself, wanting the time to prepare and settle your mind. The ritual of walking and trains calmed you, as the music washed over you and reminded you of everything that had happened since he’d left your life.

You let the songs bring forth the memories dancing at the bars with Nat, having netflix nights curled up on the couch with Shuri whenever she was in town. These were the memories that were important now. Any of him were just dust, trying to cover you and stifle your rediscovered vibrancy.

Music blaring, you thought about everyone else in attendance tonight. Tony would be there, always ready to liven up a party. Of course Bruce would be there too, giving you some much needed quiet comfort for when things get a bit too much. No one would look twice if the two of you slipped out somewhere quieter - assuming he would have just needed some space. Whilst you and Bucky were friends, you also knew his loyalty to Steve, so you knew he’d be as wonderful as ever, but you had to be wary that he would more than likely be by Steve majority of the time.

Tonight was about Wanda, he was inconsequential to this moment in time.

The water filled my lungs

I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing

Your heels clicked along the tower floor, elevator doors already open and waiting to take you up to the avengers’ old living quarters.

You evened your breathing, steeling over your face to hide the feeling you were suffocating. The floor numbers climbed higher and higher, the silence of the elevator making the ringing in your ears that much louder. Holding your phone in your hand for an easy escape, your stomach lurched as the elevator came to a halt.

Countless times you had ridden this elevator, and none felt as precarious as this time. Keeping your face passive as the doors slid open, you took a quick cursory glance to find no one waiting for your arrival.

You let loose a sigh of relief. That meant they were all in the main area, so you had plenty of escape options if you needed it. You could hear the food preparation still ongoing, murmurs of conversations broken up by loud peals of laughter. You had the briefest feeling of coming home before you remembered the reason you left home to begin with.

The rain came pouring down when I was drowning

That's when I could finally breathe

And by morning

Gone was any trace of you

I think I am finally clean

I think I am finally clean (ahhhhh, ahh)

Said I think I am finally clean (ahhhhh)

Bruce was the first face you saw when you came around the corner into the main living area. You eagerly waved, heading straight for him when you saw someone move out from the kitchen to stand by his side.

You halted, ever so slightly, your energy focused on keeping your emotions under control to remain the picture of calm and unaffected. The moment you had been dreading had arrived sooner than you had anticipated, and now it was trying to meet your eyes.

You knew this first moment would set the tone for the night, and for the rest of this narrative. You would not bend or fold to him. He had been the one to dictate your friendship, both when it started and when it ended, plus everything in between. You would not be the one to make any moves here. He destroyed everything, it is up to him to admit to the damage and make a choice.

You breezed right past Steve, wrapping your arms around Bruce in a hug before settling in on his other side to have light conversation. You kept watch for a sighting of Wanda, eager to put some distance between you and Steve. You hadn’t expected him to be so close so quickly, you needed space, but you didn’t want to be the first to move either. It felt like you were admitting defeat if you moved because of his presence. You had already done it once.

As you and Bruce spoke, you could see Steve attempting to interject. Turning inwards ever so slightly to try and include himself in the conversation, but your staunch ignorance of his presence kept him at bay. After what felt like eternity, you saw Wanda’s beaming face across the room with Vision in the kitchen.

Excusing yourself from Bruce’s side, you strolled back past Steve and right into Wanda’s open arms, wrapping her tightly in your embrace.

“Happy birthday darling girl! I’m sorry I’m a little late, the subway was, well, the subway.” You shrugged, pulling back to give her a grin. 

She waved you off, “it’s fine! I’m just glad you came so now everyone is here! Nat and Vision are almost done in the kitchen, they said I am not allowed to help so I’m mingling instead.”

Shaking your head, you laughed at the mental image of Nat scolding Wanda, cooking utensil in hand and all.

“I side with them on this one. It’s your birthday so you’re meant to be enjoying it! Go mingle, I’ll see if they need any help.” You gave her another quick hug before departing to the kitchen, knowing Nat will give you a job for entering her work space.

“Mash the potatoes.” You hadn’t said a word before she barked her order at you, a smirk playing on her lips. You mock saluted her before washing your hands and beginning on the potatoes.

Being in this moment felt like home. It felt like you were whole again. Clean slate.

Ten months sober, I must admit

Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it

Ten months older, I won't give in

Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it

Sitting between Bruce and Nat, hearing the various conversations and bursts of laughter, you felt at peace. Every now and then you felt his eyes on you, could feel him wanting you to see him and go about as if nothing ever happened. One part of you wanted to do just that, to hear your name pass through his lips again and smiling at you like you mattered to him, as if the last 3 years never happened and you were still the same old friends. 

You couldn’t allow yourself to go back though, you had worked hard to be where you are and work through the damage he caused. You owed it to yourself not to let him have what he wants just because he wants it. He had his chance and then has had 3 years to fix things, and he chose not to. He made his choice, which wasn’t you, so now he has to live with the consequences because you are choosing yourself.

You were not going to risk yourself for the sake of his conscience.

The drought was the very worst (ahh, ahh)

When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst

Sharon was an attractive woman, and quite intelligent based on the little pieces of information you had heard about her. By all accounts, she was a very lovely and genuine person, and you could see why she and Steve fit together like they do. It almost seemed picturesque, a love he always wanted.

A small part of you buried deep wondered what might have been had he not made the decisions he had - would the two of you have grown closer until you were inseparable? Would he have been honest about his feelings instead of the weird little games of love and affection but only behind closed doors? Would you have ended up together?

All the possibilities died the day he left without a word. The part of you that had grown to love him, all of him, died with them. You couldn’t help but wonder if part of him had died also.

The rain came pouring down when I was drowning

That's when I could finally breathe

And by morning

Gone was any trace of you

I think I am finally clean (x2)

The dinner party began to wind down with people starting to make their way home before the clock ticked over midnight. You hugged people, saying your goodbyes and promises to catch up soon, your heart feeling full from seeing these people who felt like family.

Again, you could feel him just off from your periphery, staring over at you and wondering if you would make the first move and say goodbye. It took almost everything out of you to ignore him, to keep such tight control over the hole in your chest that was aching for you to see him and hope he would acknowledge what he did and apologise.

You also knew that it was an apology you would never get, because he had moved on with his life as sure as you had begun to move on with yours. You were now two pieces of separate puzzles, fitting into different masterpieces of your own designs.

There was no place for him in your life. You were clean of him.

Finally clean

Think I'm finally clean (ahh, ahh)

Think I'm finally clean

The journey home was weightless. You recalled the heavy ache in your chest the closer time moved to the party, and now it was gone. You contemplated if you might have felt better had you been able to look him in the eye and felt nothing, however you reminded yourself to be proud of the steps you had taken.

You may not be indifferent about him, but you did not want his approval anymore, or his validation - you were content with who you had become. You were clean.

[oumiyuki]

40, honokoto?

40. Hiding/hoping not to be caught kiss

I really want to kiss my girlfriend but it’s so hard to???

Summary: Honoka really wants to kiss Kotori. But she’s never been the one to initiate the kiss in the two months that they have dated. So she struggles in her attempts to kiss her girlfriend.

Pairing: HonoKoto

Genre: Romance and Fluff

Words: 1239

Read me at fanfiction.net or Archive of Our Own too~

Author Notes

I worked myself too hard and despite my strong desire to write, my brain felt too tired. So my best friend said to try meeting some prompts and keeping it short :) what better way to start than HonoKoto right? >w

Also, to the anon who prompted me: I know I took forever, even I am hoping I got the correct prompt list >v

May you enjoy~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And so I added some frills here. I was also thinking of adding a little orange ribbon for your costume, Honoka-chan. What do…”

Honoka wasn’t listening. Her blue eyes staring straight at her girlfriend’s pink lips that were moving, talking to her, but she couldn’t process the words.

Kotori-chan’s lips… They look super soft. I mean, I know they are. But looking at them this much makes me think about how soft they can be again…

Honoka lifts her fingers to touch her own lips subconsciously.

I want our lips to touch again…aahhh, there I go again with my embarrassing thoughts.

Honoka refocuses back on Kotori’s lips.

Kotori-chan’s lips…always looks so sweet. They’d taste sweet…They taste sweet… Ah!! Just what am I thinking??

“Honoka-chan?”

“Wahh! Ahh, yes?” Honoka blinks a multitude of times, her heart racing and hoping that she didn’t say any of those hidden desires to kiss her girlfriend out loud.

Kotori cocks her head to the side. “I was asking you what you think of the new costume design…Are you feeling tired?”

“Ah, no! I’m totally energetic! L-Let me see again though.” Honoka leans into Kotori’s personal space to scrutinize the partly finished top. “It…It looks super cute already to me.”

Honoka had her eyebrows furrowed as she failed to see how it would need improvement. Everything Kotori makes is cute! Beautiful! Wonderful!

Kotori giggles softly. “Thank you, Honoka-chan…”

“Mm…” Blue eyes could not help but stray back down to the designer’s sweet lips that were now set in a smile directed at Honoka. Honoka swallows.

Gods, I wanna kiss her…

Kotori turns her attention back to the costume and Honoka turns her head away, face red and absolutely conflicted.

But how on earth do I go about kissing Kotori-chan?! I’ve never been the one to initiate it so far!

Honoka turns back to stare at Kotori. The orangehead wrings her skirt in her hand, crumpling them badly from all the nerves. Honoka takes a deep breath through her nose and shuffles closer to where her girlfriend sits…as quietly and discreetly possible for the clumsy leader.

Get closer…Get closer…and maybe…I can…kiss Kotori-chan…without her finding out……?

Honoka did not think this through. Kotori was wide awake. How was the ash-brunette supposed to not know she kissed her when Honoka’s lips do touch Kotori?

Just as Honoka was close enough for her breath to tickle her girlfriend’s cheek, eyes closed and skirt still in her balled hands, heart thumping at an increasing rate-

“Ah! I need-” Kotori turns her head only to see Honoka flinch backwards and fall off her chair. “H-Honoka-chan!? Are you okay? I’m sorry-”

Honoka flails on the ground to get back up. “I’m okay! I’m okay! I…I gotta go!” Honoka runs out the classroom specially reserved for sewing, runs through the corridors and outside the building.

“I’m totally not okay!” Honoka cries out as she drops to the ground in a squat, hands holding her head with her eyes shut tight.

“Ughhhh, ahhh! I don’t know how to do this! She’s my girlfriend but how do I kiss her?!” Honoka whines pathetically on the floor.

Kissing is so tough…I just want to kiss Kotori-chan but all I ever do is stare and stare and when I try…I’m not subtle at all…and I even fell on my butt…uuu…

“Honoka-chan..?” A soft, gentle voice that could only belong to an angel breaks Honoka out of her self-wallowing, only to fall on her butt in surprise, again.

“K-Kotori-chan!?”

Kotori smiles sweet and patient at her out of sorts girlfriend. “Is everything okay, Honoka-chan? You seem…to be spacing out a lot lately…” The ash-brunette’s gentle smile replaced with a worried and concerned expression.

Honoka’s cheek picks up in heat as she thought about the reason for her behaviour as of late. “Ah…I…um…”

Tell her…I should tell her. I can tell her..!

“I… I want to kiss you, Kotori-chan!” Honoka looks up with determination at Kotori, bright blue eyes staring right at her girlfriend’s lips.

Kotori presses those lips together tight, nervous; self-conscious now. “K-Kiss me…” Kotori murmurs under her breath.

Honoka misunderstands Kotori going quiet. “Ah! You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I wouldn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable with me…and besides, I’m too much of a coward to start a kiss…And-”

“Honoka-chan.”

Kotori puts a finger to Honoka’s lips to stop her adorably babbling girl from talking anymore. ��I want you…to kiss me too.”

Kotori-chan…wants me…

Kotori smiles blushingly.

“Y-You do..?” Honoka’s eyes were wide and staring in disbelief, even though there wasn’t a reason to believe otherwise.      

Kotori-chan wants to kiss me? I mean, she wants me to kiss her? She wants to kiss too??

Kotori giggles at Honoka’s lips moving on her finger. “Yes.”

“Kotori-chan…” Honoka feels lighter as she returns a smile.

“I always do.” Kotori adds, shyly yet confidently.

Hyaaaawawawaa..!!! Kotori-chan is too cute!! She loves me so much. I love her so much! Kotori-chaaaannn!!

Honoka’s face was a bright red and she wouldn’t be surprised if her girlfriend could hear her racing heart but she has decided that she’s going to do it. She’s going to kiss Kotori.

“C-Close your eyes, Kotori-chan.” Honoka says in a tone that makes Kotori’s heart skip a beat.

“Eh?” The ash-brunette kind of wants to witness her adorably blushing and trying oh so hard girlfriend’s first attempt to kiss her.

Honoka lowers her voice. “I…I’m still really not sure how to go about doing this because of how cute and beautiful you are. So. So…!”

You got to close your eyes so I won’t be as nervous!

“You got to pretend you don’t know I’m going to kiss you so I feel less embarrassed like my heart is going to beat out my chest anytime now, Kotori-chan!” Honoka’s blue eyes were watery as her nervousness and desire to kiss Kotori well attempted to spill out of her puppy dog eyes plea.

Kotori presses her lips together again, holding back from throwing her arms around her girlfriend in a big hug and maybe kiss the orangehead first. Taking a breath to calm herself, licking her lips to ready herself, Kotori closes her eyes for Honoka. Waiting for the kiss to come.

Okay…Okay… I can do this. You can do this, Honoka!

Honoka gulps. Takes a step closer as she holds Kotori’s shoulders, trying to not grip too tightly.

Kotori-chan…

Honoka leans close and closer, and as she felt Kotori’s breathing…she licks her lips nervously, her heart drumming in her ear…Honoka’s eyes flutter shut. And all she could feel was her lips on Kotori’s.

Honoka doesn’t know if it was a second, or five seconds. Maybe ten. But when she opened her eyes again, to see Kotori’s golden eyes looking back at her, lovingly, Honoka knew-

Kotori-chan liked the kiss.

“I want more.” Kotori smiles extra blushingly.

Honoka blinks rapidly and pulls Kotori closer to her. “I…I will kiss you more…”

Kotori-chan is so unfair…Of course, I’d want to kiss you more. Of course, you’d make me unbelievably happy that I kissed you…

“Kotori-chaaan…” Honoka could not hide the whine.

“Yes, Honoka-chan~?” Kotori tugs at Honoka’s uniform, feeling the embarrassment too though staying strong on the outside.

“Shall we head back?” Honoka averts her gaze, looking at Kotori’s face for too long would make her want to kiss Kotori again.

Kotori grins from ear to ear at Honoka’s blush-covered face because of her. “Mmph!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author Notes

I swear Kotori has an amazing way of making Honoka blush. Like, mega blush. Super-duper blush. Ultimate ultra blushyyyy!! @//w//@ hehehe~

And in turn, make herself blush so much too~

And me too! XD

Leave me a comment if you like~ (Honoka’s blush won’t be dying down anytime soon. And Kotori’s own racing heart too~ So they’d like to know how much you enjoyed this. XD)

Oh. And it totally didn’t turn out short XD As expected of HonoKoto huh? :P

See ya next story! :))))

[tomhollanduniverse]

Darling [Fluffy Tom Holland Oneshot]

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader

Word Count: 2,170

Warnings: Some cussing, if you squint. Very cheesy and fluffy! 

Anon requested this Tom Holland fluff a few days ago and I have finally finished it! It’s the first thing I’ve written and finished since about October or November. I really, really hope you guys like it. Any feedback is vital and important, even if it’s negative.

Plot: Y/N has won a movie role that requires her to have a British accent. Who better to teach her than her co-star and love interest in the movie, Tom Holland?

It was a frigid day in London as Y/N steps onto the set of the new movie she was to star in. The cold-to-warm contrast sent shivers up and down her spine as she shakes off the chill in her bones. She had been in England for a few weeks now, prepping herself for the dramatic Spy role she won over a couple dozen other women. It was a very Mr. And Mrs. Smith-like movie, with a touch of Sherlock Holmes. There was a knot in the pit of her stomach, as anxiety pulses through her veins. She couldn’t stop thinking about how the audition went. The other actresses were actually more qualified than her, as most of them were natural-born British women, with the correct accent, culture, and experience in action sequences needed for the film. For the longest time, after she had won the part, she felt guilty and thought several times about giving it up to someone who deserves it more than her. The last thing she wanted was the movie to tank because she wasn’t the right fit for the part. Which was the direction things were moving. She sips on her coffee as she heads to her dressing room. One of the directors assistants walks toward her, smiling.

 “Y/N, the director would like to have a talk with you.” she smiles, her stylus tapping against her phone.

 “Oh, uhh is--is everything okay?”

 “He didn’t seem upset or anything.” she shrugs. Y/N clears her throat nervously, looking down at her feet. “Just relax. He’s waiting in his office.” the assistant smiles, putting her hand on Y/N’s shoulder. Her heels click as she walks away, leaving her to her racing thoughts. She walks to her dressing room, taking in deep breaths to even out her heart rate, failing miserably. She knows she shouldn’t keep the director waiting. She sits her stuff down on her dressing room chair and checks her appearance to make sure she at least looks presentable. Her legs feel like rubber as she walks out of her dressing room and down the hall to the directors office. She heard two voices coming from the other side of the big mahogany door with a gold sign hanging on it that says “S. Spielberg”. She raises her knuckle and hesitates before knocking twice. The voices pause.

“Come on in!” the director chimes happily, continuing with his conversation. As she steps in, she notices a familiar figure sitting in one of the red chairs in front of the director. “Ahh, Y/N. Hello, dear. Have a seat.” her eyes flash from the director to the familiar man. He turns around, revealing himself. It was Tom Holland. He stands up to greet you, like a gentleman,smoothing down his jacket. You’re frozen in place, your feet refusing to move.

“Um--hello, sir.” she trips over her words, not believing it was Tom. Oh Jesus. Finally your feet cooperate, stepping carefully over to the empty chair next to Tom.

“Hello, darling. It’s nice to finally meet you.” he puts his arms out for a hug, instead of a handshake. As you go to give him a hug, you trip over your heels, falling into his arms. He catches you with ease, his muscles flexing around your torso. He lets out a breathy laugh into your ear, your face burning into a deep shade of scarlet. He lifts her back to her feet, flashing her his extra bright smile. The director lets out a silent giggle, secretly getting an idea to squeeze that into the film.

“Oh jeeze, I’m s--so sorry Tom. It’s--nice to meet you, too. I apologize.” Y/N laughs nervously. She looks down at her feet, wanting to disappear into a puff of smoke.

“Oh, darling don’t be sorry. That was the cutest greeting I’ve ever gotten before.” Y/N smooths down her hair, her hands shaking.

“You know that, since you two are love-interests in the story, I have to work that into the script, right?” Y/N clears her throat. Did he just say ‘love interests’? Tom looks at her, his brown eyes sparkling at her.

“I knew it was a matter of time before my natural awkwardness would be made into comic relief. But did you just say ‘love interests’? Did I hear that right, sir?” Tom looks down, grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Well, yes. Haven’t you read the script, silly? And call me Steve.”

“Of course. I didn’t know who it was gonna be, yet. It hasn’t been announced.”

“Ah, yes. This is one of the reasons I called you in here, dear. I found it only appropriate that you were the first to know.” She raises her eyebrows in disbelief, shifting in the chair.

“You’re not disappointed are you, Y/N?” Tom laughs nervously.

“Oh, God, no! No! It’s not that. It’s just--” She didn’t want to say the wrong thing but it was time to say it out loud. “--I thought you were calling me in here to tell me that you’ve recast another actress for my part. One that was more suited for the part. One who had a natural British accent and one with experience in action scenes?” The director looks at her, confused. He leans forward in his chair, a crease forming between his silver eyebrows. Tom mirrors the look of the director.

“Why on earth would you think that? Of course not. I’ve been doing this long enough to know who is best for the part and who is not. I see something in you that you clearly don’t yet, dear.”

“Oh, uh…I apologize sir--Steve.” she looks to Tom, silently apologizing to him, yet again.

“No need. But your concern brings me to the other reason I brought you in here. I’ve asked this young man to be your co-star and he has volunteered to be your dialect coach. He has expressed interest in helping you learn to achieve the correct accent for the part.” Y/N smiles so wide her cheeks hurt, giggling like an idiot.

“Really? You think there’s hope for me, Tom?” she flirts.

“Of course.” he sighs, contently. “If I can be taught to have an American accent, I can teach you how to master a British accent with ease.” It was as if the director wasn’t in the room anymore.

“When do lessons start?” her eyes flicker to Tom.

“Would you feel more comfortable practicing in private for a while?” his brown eyes were fully-dilated.

“Of course.”

“There’s that natural chemistry I had hoped you two would have.” Steven smiles devilishly. Y/N covers her face in embarrassment, laughing. “Get out there and start your assignment, kids.” his hands shooing us out. Tom and Y/N stand up, walking out of his office.

“My dressing room or yours, darling?” he asks, holding the door open for her.

“Thank you. How about yours?”

“You’re welcome. Sounds good. It’s this way.” he explains, his hand on her lower back, guiding her down the hallway. This was gonna be fun. She was about as subtle as a freight train when it came to flirting. She was shy for the first few minutes, then the flirting just starts pouring out of her mercilessly.

“I know what word you should teach me first.”

“Is that so? Which word would that be?” he teases.

“Darling.” she imitates him perfectly. “It makes me weak in the knees every time you say it.” She felt awkward because she wasn’t sure if he was actually flirting with her or not.

“Really? That’s good to know, DARLING.” he nearly shouts. Y/N starts laughing so hard she almost falls again. She shushes him, looking around at people looking at them. He was definitely flirting.

“You are ridiculous. Just thought you should know that.”

“I take that as a compliment.” He replies, opening the door to his dressing room. She rolls her eyes and steps inside.

Over the next couple weeks, they rehearse their lines alone together, to get the feel of the movie. Tom and Y/N grew closer and their feelings for each other grew stronger. After memorizing their lines, Steven asks to sit in on a reading to see their progress. Y/N of course hasn’t mastered the accent completely yet, but she was well on her way. They oblige and he walks into Y/N’s dressing room one day, holding two tiny piles of papers with lines, each pile held together by a single staple. Pink and yellow lines litter the pages.

“So, I’ve come up with a plan.” Uh oh. Y/N’s nerves started to strain, not liking to be unprepared for anything. “I’ve brought in a couple pages of lines, that have nothing to do with this movie, to see how flexible you are with your accents. The twist is, I want Tom to read it in an American accent and I want you to read in a British accent.” Tom seems cool as a cucumber, oddly okay with just winging it. “Just to have a little fun to see your progress.” he looks to Tom, both of them smiling at each other. Y/N smells something fishy going on here. “You do well enough, both of you can have the rest of the day off.” She looks to Tom, nodding in approval.

“Hah, deal!” Y/N chimes. The director hands them the lines, more excited than usual. What the hell was going on? She flips over the two pages of lines, confused.

“And action!” Steven says dramatically.

“I’ve been so stressed over these past couple weeks, with learning these lines. I’ve never felt more pressured with any other movie, than I do with this one.” Tom speaks in his high-pitched Peter Parker voice. She bites her lip, thinking back to when she first started crushing on Tom.

“Uh yeah, me neither. Especially with Steven Spielberg as the director.” she was careful with her enunciation and intonation. She must’ve been doing okay because Tom couldn’t stop smiling. The script calls for Tom to walk across the room nervously.

“Do you think I’ve been a good teacher for you, Y/N?” his American accent perfectly rolls off his tongue. Y/N follows along, not wanting to mess up.

“No one could be a better teacher than you, Tom.” she turns to face him. He suddenly walks toward her, getting so close, she saw flecks of gold in his brown eyes. She blinks rapidly, taking in his wonderful scent. “Wh--why are you so nervous?” she stutters, looking down at the paper.

“If you’re not busy after rehearsal, would you like to go on a date with me?” her jaw drops, looking down at the script again.

“You sneaky little shits! I knew something was going on here!” she gasps, gently hitting Tom’s arm.

“Hey! I didn’t say cut! Keep going!” Steven laughs. She scoffs, turning to the second page. It only contained one line of dialogue. Y/N laughs, putting her head in her hands.

“Yes, of course DAHLING!” she mocks Tom. “Nothing would make me happier.”

“And cut! Perfect job, kids. You get the rest of the day off. Have fun on your date!” The director says, running out before she had a chance to say anything else.

“You sly, cheeky little shits! You had that planned!” she threw the papers at Tom, stomping to her coat hanging on the chair.

“Of course we did. It worked, though didn’t it?” his accent returning. She throws her coat on, swinging her purse over her shoulder.

“Ehh, I guess it did. Let’s go before I change my mind.” she boldly walks up to him. His eyes narrow, flashing her a cheeky grin. He cups her chin, kissing her softly. His lips were as warm and soft as she always imagined them to be. Wow.

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Hi babes! Um- so, when I don’t write smut for a long time- I get pent. Here is the fruit of that, I suppose! Long live tripod writing- @dirtystyles gave me all caps, and @bleedinglove4h is a citrus fruit! Woohooo!!

Big, fat thanks to @emulateharry for the read through!

As ever/ thanks for reading- reblogs are love and anons are 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Chapter 10- Onsen

"Fuck, Harry!" Ada was barely through the door when he caught her up. He hoisted her like she weighed nothing and it was more than enough to get her hot. Hotter. His hand, thumb hooked through her belt loop and huge palm all over her lower body, coupled with his voice in her ear had been kindling on the embers of last night. She was sure 10 minutes ago that her long, long day had snuffed out those coals. Ada had been so frustrated about her lack of sleeping quarters ten minutes ago, she hadn't thought about the upside.

Harry.

And he was up. And hard. All up against her back for the quick walk to the cabin. The onsen had been pretty quiet, she'd only seen a member of the staff and none of her own crew. That was a godsend. One look at her and Harry, him hustling her like a track coach to a nearing finish line, physically prodding her along with a proprietary arm around her body, and there was no denying what was up. What they were to each other. Lovers, they were gonna be lovers. Who knew if they were in love. Ada wasn't sure she ever had been, that may have to be their pillow talk tonight. A shared things, that uncertainty. All she knew was that she really liked him, and the way he smiled and looked and smelled and tasted. The way she thought about him all the time. That their backgrounds were just similar enough that she didn't have to explain everything to him. He got part of it, that single mom/child dynamic with the estranged dad that you wanted to hate but still wanted approval from.

Ada had been a people pleaser once upon a time, was, right here. Couldn't wait to please him, her wrapped around his waist and shoulder with her mouth full off his ears and neck and her hand full of his tresses. "Your hair is so silky!"

"So is your skin, Smoky. God! I've wanted you so bad. Do you want me too? Have you waited for me?" He stopped his progress and she huffed at his slow down.

How much clearer could her desire be. Words, maybe he needed words.

"I want you, Harry. I have. Can't you feel that?" She ground against him as best she could from her perch on his lithe hips. He smirked smugly. He was on her collarbone instantly, for once she was over the moon it was so prominent, it was like a map of her erogenous zones.  Pointing down like a beam of light onto pleasure.

"Seven." She murmured to herself, and his head came up from where it had drifted to the cleavage he'd had scent of before and not forgotten.

"That's surely not seven?"

"That a question?" came out, deep and sultry. "Smoky?"

"Yeah," he breathed. "You're like a banked fire, throwing off steam, when you're mad, or frustrated or..." he leaned in and licked her lip, tilted sideways and took her mouth. She was blazing, fire had caught.

"Alright. I'll have to come up with something better than Styles." Had she evaded her own silly 'Friends' reference?

  "Nope," she didn't say that out loud, right? "Not so fast. I would guess this is three, maybe four, if you prefer it to the neck." He went in then and she loved the pointed teeth for just a minute, right on her jugular.

"Three." She conceded.

"Ahh!" He laid back on the bed and put his palms up for her to use. "Give me a map."

She didn't want to do that. She wanted him to figure it out. She didn't sulk, at least it wasn't a proper full body one. However, she must have been obvious, because he seemed to follow along, catch a ride on her train of thought.

"I don't mind finding all your spots, the ones that send you to a pillow, make you bite down. But I can have you coming in minutes if you tell me where 5, 6, and 7 are." He tweaked her pointed peak. She yelped. "4 or 3."

"5!"

"Oooh! Fun, I'll find 8 on my own." But Ada sat up and rocked her center over his proud agreement while he ran his hands over her body. She kissed his palm and let gravity carry his fingers down to her lips which she pouted then licked out to catch the tips. "Two."

"Two?" Ahh? He'd forgotten the most important spot besides six. She realized. She liked this side of him. Sexy, and much more secure than he'd shown himself to be so far. But wanting guidance, valuing her input. Who knew her body better than her? Nobody. Not yet.

She curled her head down until he cradled her face, his fingers now at her temple. She tapped his painted nails. "One."

His face dawned with understanding. "Yeah, that's definitely one." He looked pleased with her assertion, himself, all of it, "have I been working on that one for a while?"

"Probably since before you knew it." He was tracing her lips and she was undoing his bowling shirt.

"I am very sexy." He smirked while he untied her sweater and pulled it off her arms.

"Oh, yes the Bambi legs and puke, very hot."

"And yet." His fingers stroked softly the sides of her neck. "3?" Then over her shoulders and down.

Ada nodded. She knew her eyes closed, hard on sensation. Her hips were going fast.

"You may wanna slow down with seven. Remember I have fewer zones, so they are more sensitive." He cautioned, all teasing brow and red pink lips.

"That's more six. And you really think that you have more sensation. Number six there has more nerves than any of your parts." Mmmmmm, she moaned when he held her fast to circle their hips a minute.

"I've heard that. We will have to have a sensation test." He got her bra over her head and gave her tit a squeeze. "Show me the rest." Ada was smiling and just moving Harry's hands from four down to five when the knock sounded.

"Harry?" Fuck Ayae. "You make it? Everybody is going in the water. Have you seen Ada? Nobody can find her."

"Yeah, I've definitely seen Ada," Harry raised his eyebrows at her and her nipples.

She narrowed her eyes at him and gave his nipple, the one she thought of as number 2, a rough twist in response.

"Ouch." He whispered but looked, well, hot for it. Then he sat up and hooked his chin over her shoulder in a sort of coitus interruptus hug, and called. "I'm here. Just getting undressed to come out. I saw Ada." He turned his head and licked 3. "She's here." He made a goofy face. "I'll text her, she seemed tired though."

He whispered in her ear and she thought she had to redefine her zones, maybe there were nine. "You feel up to seeing everybody. Or do you want me to go throw off suspicion?"

She laid her head on his shoulder and they looked across her collarbone at each other.

Ada was tired, and the tightness between her thighs was so thick it was bothersome. Yet, The idea of him going without her, of her missing out on seeing him across from her with steam rising from blue grey water and sending his curls into a tizzy above his slick shoulders, no nap was worth that.

She'd sleep when she was dead, or after they had finished what they started here.

Ada shook her head and kissed his collarbone sweetly, added a nibble. "No, I'll come."

"You most certainly will. Hopefully because of me, sooner rather than later." She shook her head at him but accepted the kiss he offered, sighed into it. "Speaking of coming." He made a ridiculous face, "I'm going to make a stop in our bathroom before we head out there."

"That's a good idea, I'll have to make my own stop and meet you out there—"

"Um, no." He was shaking his head and standing with her still in his arms. "I'd like you to sit on that orange." Ada yelped when he cupped her over the swelling. "It'll be very juicy when I get to it later."

"Ahh!!" Ada wanted to be pissed, protested, "that's completely unfair." But, damn, she liked that he gave an order.

"You don't have to, only if you want to." He placed her on her feet. His breath curled around her ear. "But I know you want to."

That was sexy enough, but the nonchalance, self assurance he went to the bathroom with. Damn, she liked to give Harry solid feedback. Confidence looked really good on him. Ada sat down. She needed a breath, a drink, and his dick. Sitting wasn't enough. Maybe she should go watch him.

The vision of him stroking over the swelling she'd started in her mind's eye was lovely, had her curling around her tight tummy. There were a few details she was missing behind her tired eyes unfortunately. Size, shape, color, and modifications were unknown. She kept her eyes closed though and plotted out where she hoped it would go, her watching him stroke, and what he'd look like doing it. She'd go check her accuracy in just a moment.

20 minutes later, Ada felt a nuzzle of wet hair against her cheek and woke up to a droplet on her cheek.

"Why are you wet?" Was the groggy question that made it out of her rattling vocal chords.

"There is a little washing station, I saw one by the springs when I was looking around, before I ran into you. You're supposed to wash before you go in. Hygienic. Figured I'd do it now." He brushed under her eyes with black tipped nails. "Are you sure a nap wouldn't do more for you than the springs? You didn't sleep last night."

"Do I look that bad?" she winced.

"Never, but you passed out while I was washing. Must be tired."

"I am, but, we have a long day tomorrow, and I've been looking forward to coming here since I got the scouting stills. It's so beautiful I wanted to experience it. Also to the bonding time." She wasn't the most outgoing person, but a solid crew family made a good movie, and good memories. She couldn't very well encourage it if she wasn't there. "Go. I'll meet you there."

"I think you go in the women's side. Get ready. I'll meet you there, and try not to let on I just saw you topless, ok?" He flashed his brows and dimpled and they kissed. This was going either be the most fun couple of days or the most frustrating of her life. When he left the room and she saw his case right next to her things, and the one white linenned bed, she doubted she wouldn't find relief. Ada got herself up on the idea of Harry wet, as he was when he left, but steaming too. She was steaming for him, still.

When she made it to the springs to discover her whole cast, Harry's entourage, and assorted crew she decided it would be frustrating. At least for the next little while.

He was sitting in the corner, holding court, his laugh ringing out and she realized it was at his own joke from the assorted head shakes. Harry could be very funny. Mostly when he got to make off color jokes. His dirty mind she'd only caught bits of, that night at the bar, last night in her room, and when she heard him joking with Masa or Yuki. She'd seen a bit of his dirt now though. It was either funny grains of grit or dad jokes. She guessed this one was a dad joke.

And still.

He was so sexy. The water was blue tinged and the steam rose up, in the whole spring, but all she could see was it rising up around him, making his bright pink lips stand out and the chocolate curls get tighter. He was chuckling with bright teeth and full dimples. There was someone on either side of him and she was thankful. It definitely kept her off his lap.

"Ada!" Lara called and everybody looked at her. She was so glad that her towel was wrapped right around her and huge. She was also glad they had the place to themselves and that they had made arrangement to use the springs in a co-ed fashion. And with bathing suits. She liked the free love idea, but not in front of her cast and crew. She was from California, but not that California.

A small voice in the back of her head was a little sad Harry wasn't naked. But then she remembered she'd have him naked, and they had their own tub in their own room.

She was suddenly thankful for the room drama. She probably wouldn't even look into it. Just be happy they were sharing a bed, and there were no 'your place or mine' moments.

She hadn't met his eyes yet. She was afraid to look, would everybody know that she was still juicy for him?

"Hey everybody, looking hot!" They all chuckled at her Harry style joke. "Sorry! I fell asleep." Not entirely untrue. She was careful not to look at Harry first or last. But she looked at him. And her towel dropped when they connected, by coincidence.

They all laughed at her and she did too while she walked down the stairs into the waters. She sat by Lara, carefully adjacent to and not across from the tattooed boy she wanted to memorize. Luckily, the conversation was lively and relaxation the mood.

The communal feel was awesome and laughs and jokes were plentiful.

Ada was sure she had calmed down, that the heat Harry had generated during their make out, had abated. She thought that until she felt a foot glance her own. At first, she thought it was an accident, but the foot stilled and swirled under her own to the sensitive sole an inch off the ground. She could feel his gaze. His foot was soft, but that wasn't surprising. He was a groomer. His nails painted in his off time. They'd have to get pedicures together. She loved that indulgence.

She also loved the realization that she was still on the boil.

And he kept her there, with a wrap of his foot around her calf and occasional steamy looks across the pool for the hours of relaxation they all enjoyed together.

Slowly, the numbers dwindled. Until it was just Masa holding court. Ada looked up and caught Harry's eyes. Then turned to Lara. "I'm gonna go back. I'm ready to go to bed."

"Ok girl, see you. Call time is 8 tomorrow. Breakfast spread at 7." Ada loved her organization.

"See you in the morning!" She leaned in and kissed her cheek, lifted her eyes to her bedmate. Would he follow?

He did.

Ada wasn't even sure how exactly she'd wound up on her back with her bikini untied at her neck and each hip so fast. She supposed they had simply picked up like they hadn't left off.

"I can still taste you, over the water." And he dipped his tongue back in her channel and she was sure the tide was rushing in.

"Fuck, fuck."

His hand covered a goodly portion of her ass and she lifted her hips to chase the wave. Except he leaned back and focused his attention on her ripening center. It was almost enough. But not quite. Her walls tightened a second time, and maybe she didn't need his tongue, that mouth.

"Harry!" She whined. She definitely needed it, to come to shore. It was so close, one length of his tongue over her from opening to top of hood and she'd be there. Saying his name in an entirely different attitude. Screaming it.

"Just a minute." He stared and it was enough to keep the waves in sight, but her tide was receding.

"No, no, no." Ada lifted her hips again, offered all of her salt to him. "Please! I'm close."

"I know." He was so calm and it was infuriating. She could feel her ire sliding into the crack of her ass. "You're tightening, and getting redder. I like to watch." And at that he looked her in the eye.

Ada's stomach rolled over itself and she would have rubbed her thighs together had he not caught her knees in his hands and pushed them back to the mattress. Then he breathed on her until she was babbling and biting the flesh of her arm. Just enough sensation to keep her tense, no slack, and no snap. It was maddening.

His tongue, when he applied it to her clitoris, was wily and wet and made three circuits before her back came off the bed and "Fuck!" came loudly out of her mouth. She'd not come so hard in a long while, not even with somebody else. It was good. It was better when his hands wrapped around the back of her hips and held her fast through the three "Stops!" she cried until the tide came all the way up to her eyeballs and she couldn't even shriek. She'd drowned. Her breath caught and lids closed.

When she was able to open her eyes again, he was perched on her lower stomach, sharp chin on her mons and she thought the thickness was ideal, designed. Maybe for him to place his adoring face on her low, low stomach and stare at her like this.

"You look even more radiant when you're coming your ass off." He rubbed his cheek over the smooth lasered skin.

"Thank you?" She giggled, a sound she didn't hear from herself too often, except around him. Even in the afterglow. "Let's see what you look like when you are coming your brains out. Come here." She reached down for his shoulders and loved the long lines of him, soft but firm over her curves, the dips at the side of his bum were sized well for her calves. She would have had more time to think of that if it wasn't the first time she felt him pressed against her center. She was so sensitive from her multiples, she pulled her hips back. "Wow."

"Wow?" He pulled back with his redolent mouth and smiled at her. "I'll take wow."

"I doubt you need dick compliments. That's what the internet is for, but I can give you wow."

"Uppercase or lowercase?"

"Well," Ada raised an eyebrow at him. "I think I need an actual look, and to see how it works." She raised two eyebrows then, and Harry laughed while rolling to the side.

"Be my guest." He motioned over his still slightly slick body and Ada licked her lips. He was long, lean,  bedecked and luscious. A feast.

"Definitely capitalized." She ran her hand from sparrow to laurel and followed the muscle obscured by ink to fill her palm with him. "Maybe shouty letters, even." Her hand cascaded up over him and down, foreskin swallowing the pearl inviting her to taste his tip. Her mouth found his nipples, the proper ones first. It seemed presumptuous to jump to the main course and skip the delicious appetizers. She nibbled along his torso and caressed his thighs and the sides of his glutes until he was squirming, mirroring her earlier hip ruts. She supposed it was a little cruel to start with strokes over his cock and then move to chest kisses and leg rubs. Backwards, but a beautiful tease.

Ada took pity on him of course, after a fond drag. "Need something, Styles?"

"I thought you were working on a new nickname, Smokes." Her mouth was above his bobbing dick and he flexed his hips to emphasize it. "But yes."

"I don't know what I should call you..." she tapped her chin, then ducked it and filled her mouth with his tip. "Maybe eager."

"Very." She smiled. "Ada, please put it in your mouth, I'm trying not to hump your face here."

"Why?" She queried before taking him nearly to his base. She pulled to the top, "Feel free to help."

"Holy fuck." He lay his hand on the back of her head and guided her that way, groaned when her hand took up what her mouth couldn't fit.

Ada's jaw was getting tired. She'd been sucking him passed the point of inquiry, knowledge, and fatigue, but Harry showed little impatience. Even after all that time in the springs his earlier wank was giving him a stamina she wasn't going to be able to conquer without using her entire body. She picked up her pace though, sucked up with hollowed cheeks, completing the strokes with her hand. She wasn't a quitter.

"God damn! I was right about your lips." Harry exclaimed after one enthusiastic mouthing.

Ada kept stroking. "You thought about my lips?" She slinked up his body. Gave herself a hiatus.

"God, yes, like every morning in the shower."

She smiled, kissed him languidly, and brought a leg over his lap. "I thought about yours too."

"Since when."

"Since always, but especially the bar. You look good with a microphone against your lips." She leaned in, swiped his mouth with her tongue. "DSL's."

"Hmmmmmm, takes one to know one." He rubbed her down. "Was it just my mouth? Or maybe you  have a rockstar fetish." He smiled while opening the condom.

"I do." She smoothed the latex over him. "Want to help me with that?" Her head went to the side and she crinkled her nose.

"More than anything." He swore while guiding her. There was something like completion about sinking down over him to the base. She saw that lake again, wide and flat, expansive. God, he was big.

"Steady." He held her for them both to adjust and watched her exhale. What a day, an evening. Harry had been excited about the menus when he arrived. Kunichi had been telling him about the spreads the Onsens, especially ones like Beppu, put out. There were often dishes even Kunichi had never had. Harry's been looking forward to trying new things, and hanging out with everybody. The minute he'd heard Ada didn't have a room though, he'd decided he'd be fine if he just spent all day eating her.

He'd been sure he was going to get his wish when they'd first made it to the room. He was fit to burst with getting to kiss her and feel her in private, with lots of time and a mutual finish in mind. When he'd realized they were going to have to pause he wanted to throw a fit, say fuck it, and just hole up in the room with her even if the entire cast and crew caught on to what they were up to.

He was so hungry for her, starved. He felt like the kid who was allergic to his favorite food and suddenly grew out of it. A glutton after austerity, tummy sick with peanut butter cups.

The interruption was necessary, he decided now watching her smooth brown skin move over his hips. If he'd gotten to feel that tight pussy slide over him before his bathroom wank, the finish would have been instant and he assumed one sided. He liked to make it last, especially since they had waited a while.

This way, he'd gotten to keep her on a low boil, so her flavors really developed, for several hours, gotten a leisurely taste of them, and bee allowed to fill her mouth as well.

Fuck food.

He'd just live on Ada. Right now, she was rocking back and forth over him, keeping him seated deep within her. She was so warm, ripe, but he wanted a deeper stroke, longer.

He side spanked her ample ass. She blinked open, her pupil had swallowed the brown in her iris. "Fuck me harder, Ada." Her eyes opened wider and she exhaled out of her nose before getting her legs under her so she was able to bounce all the way up and down him. It was a powerstroke.

Harry had felt like he was in no danger of coming because of his earlier wank, but the full length friction was going to erase his earlier emission. Did he stop her? She looked determined and was gripping his palms hard for leverage. Her eyes weren't rolling back in her head though, least not to his liking. She was too focused. He wanted her wild. This was too much for him, and not enough for her. He let go of her palms and that immediate sent her to gripping his torso, but her rhythm was broken. Like he wanted. He leaned up, and pulled her long over the top half of him and flipped her under him. This he could do for ages, he thought as he pulsed into her. There was that eye roll.

"Right there? Yeah." Her bleary nod was bliss. He thought this was sustainable until she nipped him with her cunt. Closed down around him rhythmically until he was groaning. "Yes, fuck, Ada!"

He sat back then, pushed her thighs up and stood. It dislodged him, but he wanted solid ground under him for this. The sheets made a slicking noise when Harry dragged her to the edge of the mattress.

Ada was rolling her head back over the thick cotton sheets. She smiled blearily. "I love it like this. God! Harry!" Her nipples were sensitive.

"How's my punctuation now?" He asked notching the tip just inside and working back and forth until she squeezed him hard.

"Well, I have a feeling we are getting close to a Big O." She giggled, again. He loved that sound, he'd heard it last night, in their moments of levity before it got heavy, and several times today.

"How quickly do you want to get there?" He pushed in thick and deep and her giggle became a moan.

"Fuck, soon, please."

"Yes Smokes, I love that word." Those moments of abandon when motion and sensation took over, he felt them on stage and while fucking. Probably why they were his two favorite things in the world. God, he'd never felt this free, wide open and expansive.

His hips moved faster, and he'd been sweating since they got out of the water. His body temperature hadn't dropped from its peak in the heated waters. He could feel beads rolling down his chest and over his abs. He looked down to see it collecting in his pubic hair and the view of Ada taking him, all of him, was extravagant.

"God, your pussy, I'm gonna come!" He focused on her face and watched her bite her lip. "Can you get there with me? Touch yourself."

Her hand gripped her nipple and he could feel her nails on the base of his cock from where she was doing as he'd ordered.

"Fuck honey." Honey. He hadn't expected such a sweet endearment. She was so much more tender alone, in their room. That what sent him over, his mouth dropping open, her openness and the possibilities. They had three days here, he got this giggly, sweet tongued, and naked Ada, in a private place for all the hours of each night.

"Ada! Look at me!" Her eyes caught his and he felt the pulses start at the base of his cock and work upward. It was her uncontrolled, unintentional clenches he'd remember though.

It took minutes for his breath to catch. And his sweat started to cool quickly. He saw a shiver come over her and he laid down around her to share his body heat.

"WOW!" He said into her ear.

"All caps." She got out and giggled.

[deluxedolans]

from the drabble list: 128 and/or 105 :) i prefer e but ur a gray girl so it's up to you!!! i love all your writing!!!!!

hiii baby patient anon! thank you for waiting for this fic :))) tbt to when I was a grayson girl…ahh memories to when I felt safe!! but now I’m v much in ethan’s lane and it’s quite fun down here, anywho.

thank you so much for sending in this drabble which is actually not really a drabble and it kind of evolved into a longer fic? anyway, i love you so much, babe, and hope you’re having a great night/day wherever you are💙💙💙 it literally still blows my mind that people wanna see my take on certain ideas/prompts.

I am currently not accepting any drabble requests at this time.

@freewill-is-an-illusion

Prompt: 128, “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.” & 105, “You can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.”

Word Count: 3.7k 

A/N: So this is a part two to this blurb that I posted a few weeks ago! Both of these blurbs will be integrated into a full length fic that I’m currently writing (and which is taking an extremely long time to write so bare with me). I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think; love you all & I hope you’re having a good rest of your weekend :)))

ALSO, this blurb takes place in the same night as the last blurb. Additionally, the beginning of this blurb (the part written in italics) is the ending of the first blurb for a refresher/context. Sorry this author’s note is wicked long ahh.

“Guys, c’mon, let’s go! We’re gonna be tardy for the party–whoa.” Ethan’s mouth hung open at your appearance, he was truly stunned.

“That’s pretty much what I just said, bro! Doesn’t she look different?” Grayson said excitedly, his hands gesturing to you.

“Um, yeah she definitely looks different–so, you’re going out dressed like that?” Ethan asked flatly.

Your mouth fell open and your eyes narrowed at Ethan’s words, “you’re a real fucking asshole, you know that?” You pushed past Ethan and walked out the door, accidently slapping him in the chest with your purse as you walked by. You could feel your eyes well up in disapointment but you pushed the tears back, you did not spend all this time on your makeup just to have it ruined because Ethan was being a jerk.

Ethan stood there rooted to the ground, he did not mean to say that out loud.

“Way to go, genius. If you’re gonna act like a jealous douchebag, you at least need to let her know you like her first before you go off saying shit like that,” Grayson said shaking his head as he started walking out of the bathroom. “You’re gonna have to spend the rest of the night trying to make it up to her, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I fucked up,” Ethan mumbled as he followed his twin brother out of the bathroom, and walked towards the car.

You could feel your nerves kick into overdrive as you stood by the punch bowl of the house party with Grayson. Your senses were heightened; the combination of the mixed drink you were nursing, the rainbow strobe lights and the gaze of the cute boy across the room making you hyper-aware of your surroundings, your heart racing at all of the stimuli. 

 You and an incredibly attractive man, dressed as a boxer, had been eyeing each other from across the room for about a half an hour now, and you couldn’t tell if the butterflies in your stomach were ones of excitement or fear. Sure, you still had your crush on Ethan, and his words earlier definitely made you think twice, but he probably was A.) shocked that you were dressing like an actual girl for once, and B.) teasing you to get a rise out of you. You knew Ethan would never like you, you just weren’t his type; hell, you felt like you weren’t anyone’s type, but the way people were looking at you at this party most definitely had you feeling way more confident in your appearance …. or maybe that was just the vodka.

“Y/N, are you gonna talk to that guy over there or what?” Grayson asked. “You two have been staring at each other since we got here.” Your cheeks immediately burned with embarrassment.

“I have not been staring! I was … taking in the scenery,” you covered lamely, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Grayson rolled his eyes; you were the worst with communicating with boys you liked, exhibit A being Ethan and exhibit B being right now.

“Mhm, sure whatever you say. I bet if I leave he’ll come over here.” Grayson’s eyebrows shot up mischievously, a wide grin decorating his mouth. Your stomach dropped; Grayson couldn’t leave, then you’d be alone.

“Wait, what? Stop, Gray, what if he actually comes over here!” You immediately turned away from the guy who had broken his gaze with you for probably the twentieth time that night, turning your back to face away from the crowd.

“Well, that’s kind of the point; he’d be a dumbass not to! C’mon, Y/N, you’re so pretty and funny; let yourself have some fun with a guy for once, alright? I’ll be right over there if it goes south and he needs a roundhouse kick to the throat,” Grayson said, putting a hand on your shoulder to reassure you.

You put a hand on his shoulder, mirroring his position, “You can’t leave me. I’m not mature enough for this … Or drunk enough, if I’m being honest.”

Suddenly Grayson stuck his arm out, pointing a finger into the sky, “Holy shit, Y/N, look at that!” Naturally, your body turned in alarm to see what Grayson was talking about. But sadly, by the time you turned around, Grayson had fled to the couch across the room. He flashed a thumbs up as you glared daggers at him for pulling such an idiotic trick. 

When you turned around, you were met with two crystal blue eyes and messy, sandy blonde hair; the boy from across the room finally worked up the nerve to greet you after almost an hour of stolen glances.

“Hey, nice robe,” Mystery Man commented, his head nodding towards the black silky fabric that adorned your body. You could feel yourself blush as you looked down at your outfit and then stole a peek at his own; his robe matching yours almost exactly.

“Wow, thanks, seems like that is a trend tonight, huh?” You internally cringed; you definitely sounded like you were trying too hard to be cute and flirty.

But, in spite of your self doubt, the boy smiled in response to your answer, “I guess so. I’m Evan,” the boy stuck his larger hand out,  engulfing your tiny one in a handshake.

“Nice to meet you, Evan, I’m Y/N,” you replied, a small smile gracing your face as you felt yourself relax a little more. You turned around for a brief moment to scoop some more punch out of the bowl and into your cup, praying that a little liquid courage would help you survive and (possibly thrive) within this conversation.

As Ethan jogged down the stairs, the colorful lights blinded him for a brief moment, blurring his vision. He couldn’t deny the fact that he was feeling good tonight; he had just won a game of pong upstairs and in spite of the many inquiries on his costume, once he had explained it most people got a kick out of it, claiming it was original when it was mainly laziness that created his get-up.

Before Ethan reached the bottom of the stairs, he did a quick scan for both you and Grayson. After a few moments he spotted Grayson sitting on the couch, his firefighter hat in his grip as he chatted casually to James.

“Hey, guys, what’s up?” Ethan greeted, plopping down on the couch besides James whose eyes practically bugged out of his head in surprise.

“Jesus, Ethan, you scared me.”

“No shit; it’s spooky season, sister,” Ethan replied, wiggling his fingers for dramatic effect. James rolled his eyes, “The only thing spooky here is your costume, what are you supposed to be again?”

“A douchebag!” Ethan’s hands indicated to his outfit proudly; his shirtless body was complimented by the fake gold chains that draped over his chest. In addition to the chains Ethan’s outfit was accessorized with a backwards black snapback and matching sunglasses and his legs clad with black joggers to complete the look.

James busted out laughing, “Only you would dress up as a douchebag for Halloween.”

Ethan smirked, “I know, it’s original huh?”

“Original? More like sister stupid. Aren’t you supposed to dress up as something other than yourself for Halloween?” James said through a laugh, slapping his knee at his own joke. As Ethan’s eyes narrowed, Grayson’s boisterous laugh rang out; he loved when James roasted Ethan.

“I fucking hate you guys.” James and Grayson’s laughs continued, eventually settling down as James got up.

“As fun as this has been, I see Luke Wilde looking very nice over there and he slid into my DMs a few weeks ago, so.” Ethan and Grayson nodded, watching James bound towards the tall, dark and handsome man in the corner.

Ethan sighed happily, leaning back into the couch, both of his arms splaying behind him. “So, man, you having a good time?”

“Yeah, I just got done dancing a bit ago and I’m taking a break, I finally got Ali’s number, though,” Grayson remarked, smirking. Ethan put his fist out to which Grayson bumped; Grayson had been trying to hang out with one of James’s editors, Ali, for months now, but just hadn’t developed the courage to ask.

“Nice, man! It’s about damn time.”

“Oh shut the fuck up, bro, we all know how much of a pussy you are about talking to girls,” Grayson shot back. Ethan crossed his arms, “I am not! Hey, I almost forgot, where’s Y/N?”

Grayson raised his eyebrows at his brother, his teeth coming together in slight fear. Ethan was about to be salty at the sight before him.

Grayson pointed across the room and Ethan’s gaze followed, his heart falling into his stomach at scene in front of him. You were leaning against the wall, holding a solo cup, smiling a huge, beautiful smile as you looked up at the guy in front of you. The guy you were talking with had a hand against the wall as he leaned over you, a solo cup in his own hand, and a smirk smeared across his lips in contrast to your innocent grin. Ethan was livid.

“What the fuck?” Ethan muttered, his eyes bulging out of his hand, and his hand crushing his cup. Ethan barely felt the cool liquid seep into the fabric of his joggers as he took off his sunglasses, stuffing them into his pockets in an attempt to make sure that his eyes weren’t deceiving him.

“Who the hell is that guy?” Ethan didn’t even look at Grayson as he asked the question, too afraid that if he turned away that you would either disappear from view, or worse, start kissing the dude.

Grayson shrugged, “I don’t know, to be honest. When we got here Y/N and I were talking over there together and that dude kept eyeing her, so I left and they’ve been talking ever since.”

Ethan’s head turned towards Grayson so fast he almost got whiplash, “You what? ” He hissed.

“I left them to talk together! Christ, Ethan, if you like her you have to tell her, you can’t just stare at her and pray to God she’s a mind-reader.”

“You can’t just leave her alone with that stranger! He could be a serial killer for all we know, Grayson.”

Grayson rolled his eyes so hard you could only see the whites of his eyes for a moment. “He is not a serial killer, stop being so dramatic.”

“Well, how would you know? Did you interview him before you left her with him?” Ethan’ cocked an eyebrow, his lips pursed together.

“I am not gonna interview every fuckin’ guy she talks to, Ethan, she’s a big girl she can handle herself.”

“Yeah, well, he’s looking at her like a piece of meat, Gray, just look at the guy!” Ethan’s hand flew out, gesturing wildly to the two of you. The boxer’s eyes were hooded as he talked to you, the alcohol most likely flowing through his veins, while you now stood with your hands clasped neatly in front of you as you told a story animatedly, your expression bright as you recounted your tale.

“Ethan, at least the dude is talking to her, if anything you’re the one looking at her like a piece of meat,” Grayson sassed, the reality of the situation still not reaching his brother.

“E, if you like her so much, just tell her already, bro. It’s so painfully obvious you have feelings, and I bet she feels the–.”

“I’m going over there, he’s definitely a serial killer,” Ethan interrupted, popping up from the couch and storming across the room, leaving his younger brother in the dust.

“Same way.” Grayson finished, sighing as he watched Ethan walk across the room towards you, anger pumping through Ethan’s body.

“Yeah! So I’m sprinting through campus holding all these books, I lost a shoe somewhere along the way and then–.”

Suddenly, Evan was pushed to the side as a strong body knocked into him; Evan’s drink falling to the floor, the thankfully basically empty cup clattering to the hardwood in all its plastic glory.

“Yo, what the hell man?” Evan whipped around, prepared to square up to the man who knocked into him, when he was met with someone a few inches taller than him and a few inches wider, causing him to shrink back.

“Sorry, bro, didn’t see you there. You okay, Y/N?” Ethan’s jaw was clenched tight as he gave you a tight smile. He was clearly irritated.

“Yeah, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” You huffed, your arms crossing in annoyance. At your movement, Evan’s eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to your chest, as your arms perked up your breasts through the top of your robe. Ethan gave Evan side eye, his eyes narrowing as he noticed where Evan’s eyes had traveled. Ethan immediately punched Evan in the shoulder, Evan’s eyes widening in surprise and then narrowing in anger.

“Keep your eyes on her face, asshole,” Ethan commanded, his fists clenching in rage. Evan’s eyes lit up in anger, who the fuck did this guy think he was?

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me, man,” Evan snarled, pushing Ethan away from him aggressively. “You know this clown?” Evan pointed at Ethan. Your eyebrows shot up quickly, your voice suddenly caught at your throat; you hated confrontation.

“Uh–yeah, um, Evan, this is Ethan, Ethan this is–.”

“An asshole,” Ethan deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest. Your mouth flew open; you couldn’t believe how downright rude he was being. “Ethan!” You exclaimed.

“I’m the asshole? You’re kidding me, right? Let’s get out of here, baby, what do you say? Seems like this jerk doesn’t know how to control himself in front of a pretty girl.” Ethan could feel his skin heating up at Evan’s words; deep down Ethan knew he didn’t have a right to be acting this way, but he couldn’t help it, his heart always winning out over his head.

“I’m good, actually, I came with Ethan and his brother–.” Evan then grabbed your hand at your words, interrupting your rejection.

Your face dropped at Evan’s sudden act of possession; everything had been fine up until this point, why couldn’t things ever go normally for you? You looked down at his hand gripping your own, your fingers limp in his grasp.

“Let’s go, Y/N,” Evan said, trying to tug you away from Ethan. You stayed put, your eyes wide with fear; fear of the man holding you, and fearful of what Ethan was about to do.

Ethan couldn’t contain himself any longer; he ripped Evan’s hand off of you and pushed the blonde away, his back hitting the wall harshly as he gripped the collar of his robe tight in his fist.

“Don’t you fuckin’ touch her, do you understand me?” Ethan’s fist shook he was holding onto Evan so tight. He slammed Evan into the wall again for good measure, his back hitting into it so hard Evan had the wind knocked out of him. Grayson started to run over as he saw the situation escalate in front of him, pushing past people just as Evan was bent over coughing.

“Ethan, what the fuck?” Grayson stood behind his brother, prepared to back him up, but also frustrated that his brother couldn’t just express his emotions rationally.

Ethan turned around, ignoring Grayson completely, as he looked you up and down in worry.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

“You’re such a dick, you know that?” You snapped, glaring at Ethan as you pushed past him, your eyes tearing up in anger. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, you chanted to yourself as you made your way out of the party.

Ethan’s mouth fell open in shock, your reaction confusing him. He thought you would’ve been happy that he stepped in, saving you from that massive douchebag.

“What’s her problem?!” Ethan put his hands on his hips in bewilderment.

“What’s her problem? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. You practically insulted her outfit before we even got here, and now you randomly come in and intervene when she’s talking to a guy? She’s not the one with a problem, it’s you, bro.”

“He was grabbing her, did you see–.”

“Yeah, I saw, but before that. You were acting like such an asshole before that even happened. You can’t act all protective if you don’t tell her how you feel.”

Ethan rolled his eyes in irritation, knowing that his brother was partially right, however, it still didn’t make him like what Grayson had to say. Ethan stalked off after you before Grayson could say anything else, leaving the younger twin standing alone under the smokey haze and rainbow lights.

“Y/N, wait,” Ethan called as he grabbed your wrist, his voice ringing out loudly in the silent and cold October air.

“Don’t touch me. We’re fighting,” You snapped, ripping your wrist out of Ethan’s hand quickly. Ethan’s face fell at your actions and his heart hurt; he really hoped you wouldn’t be that upset.

“But why are we fighting? That guy was a total stranger, Y/N! He was grabbing you and looking down your robe and–.”

“And you were a stranger too at one point, E! And honestly, at least someone was appreciating my costume and not bitching at me saying shit like ‘you’re wearing that?’” Your voice dropped several octaves as you mimicked Ethan’s voice from earlier in the evening, your hands waving around wildly to emphasize your rage.

“Well excuse me for being a little concerned for how much skin you were showing! I mean, hell, the dude was practically having a conversation with your tits rather than your face.”

“How much skin I’m showing? You’re the one shirtless!” You admonished, your finger pushing against his chest.

Damn, she got me there, he thought to himself.

“And what are you supposed to be anyway?” Her head cocked to the side as she awaited his answer.

“A douchebag,” Ethan practically whispered, embarrassment consuming his voice.

“A what?” You asked again, not quite hearing his words.

“A douchebag,” Ethan said louder, his eyes looking at his sneakers in shame, now realizing that his costume fit his actions.

Your eyes widened in surprise and you cackled at the irony; Ethan dressing like a douchebag in an attempt to mock it, and then ending up being one throughout the night.

You pointed at him, “Aren’t you supposed to dress up as something different than yourself on Halloween?” Tears were streaming down your face at this point, the humor of this situation literally making you die of laughter.

“Okay, fuck off, James already said that,” Ethan chuckled.

After you calmed down a few seconds later, you and Ethan stood smiling at each other in a mutual understanding; at least he realized that he was being a dick.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I just didn’t know that guy and it pissed me off that Grayson left you alone with a total stranger. And then he was treating you like you were a–a– like a thing, and–.” You put your hand up, indicating that he stop. Your heart thumped at the possibility that Ethan could be jealous, but you knew that he was merely protecting you, only seeing you as a little sister.

“I get it, E. But you can’t just get all older brother on me whenever you feel like it … you’re not the boss of me.” Your heart stabbed with pain as you said those words, praying inside that Ethan would dispel them and say that you were more than a sister to him, that it hurt him seeing you with another guy.  

But Ethan didn’t.

Ethan’s heart sank at what you said; he fucking knew you’d never see him beyond the goofy brother role that he couldn’t seem to step out of no matter how hard he tried. “Um, yeah, well when some fucker grabs you forgive me for going a little psycho,” Ethan said flatly, taking his snapback off and readjusting it, needing to fiddle with something.

“Yeah, but before that, you were acting so–so upset. Why were you so upset that I was talking to that guy?”

“I told you he was a stranger,” Ethan looked off to the side, digging his shoe into the dirt.

“Yeah, but still–.” You started before a voice interrupted you.

“Hey, I’m gonna head out soon, is that cool?” Grayson yelled out from the porch, the music behind him thumping.

“I think I’m gonna stay a bit longer,” Ethan called back. “You wanna stay, or do you wanna go with Gray?” Ethan asked, his tone laced with hope that you’d wanna stay with him.

Grayson stood there patiently, waiting for your answer.

“I’m gonna stay with E and then we’ll uber back.” A wide grin spread across his face in victory; victory that he had a few hours of privacy with you without his brother’s judgemental eyes.

Grayson responded with a thumbs up as he slammed the door shut to the party, leaving you two alone yet again.

“So, wanna go dance? I might forgive you if you come dance with me!” Your eyebrows wiggled suggestively as you tugged your robe tightly around you as a breeze made its way through the air.

Ethan groaned, “Can’t we do something else in there? Here’s a tic-tac, will that make up for what a dick I was?” Ethan reached in his pocket, holding out the case of minty candy.

“Ethan Dolan, you can’t make up for it by giving me a tic-tac.” You giggled, pushing his shoulder as you walked back towards the house. Ethan smirked and pushed you back lightly, putting his hand on the small of your back as you walked up the stairs.

As you two walked back into the party together, you and Ethan both couldn’t help but internally sigh; yet another night where both of your feelings were brought to the surface and pushed down yet again by each of your own cowardice.

[kneekeyta]

Nikita!!! Do you happen to remember September 19, 2016 when you dropped four previews to upcoming things???? Because I do. I haven't forgotten since that day. I mean of course I want them all, but I am especially DESPERATE for "by day but mostly at night" where Finn aka Damon is calling a sexline to talk to Sally aka Rae, AND "Perfect Strangers" where Finn is an escort. PLEASE TELL ME THEY'RE STILL COMING ONE DAY. PLEASE. PLEASE.

ANON! This message made me very very happy and I laughed out loud because you knew the exact date I made that post and for that I must give you props! You are amazing!!!! And I must say that you also must be a bit of a mind reader because I was just!!!! reading over By Day!! and edited it a little and you know what here you go! I’m gonna give you what I have so far! its a super rough draft but here you can have it! and as for Perfect Strangers I have that one too! and you can read what I have so far!!! (let me know if rae pays him too much ahaha)

Now I must say I can’t make any promises on when I might finish them but they will be added into the mix of fics I’m working on! which include the buzzfeed fic, a fic where fake dating is involved! I also made a moodboard for that one! and also one about footballer Finn! 

thanks for the message, Anon, you are the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hope you are well!!! xxxxxxxxxxx

ONLY PROCEED IF YOU WANT SPOILERS AKA PARTLY FINISHED FICS! 

ByDay but Mostly at Night

“I..I’ve never done this before.” He stutters scootinglower in his bed.

His eyes shifting around his room like he might becaught.

“Its okay .We can take it slow, real slow. How aboutyou tell me your name to start.”

Her voice is low, sultry and dripping with sex, itmakes him feel warm.

“It’s Fi-Damon, Damon.” He rushes out, he’s not surehow this works but he figures alias are probably often used, who wants to givetheir real name to a phone sex operator?

“Damon, I like that.” He can hear the smile in hervoice and it soothes him. “You can call me whatever you like.”

“I’d be better with a name,” he admits.

“Okay, you can call me, Sally.”  

“Sally.” He echoes back to her, it feels funny, butright at the same time as it rolls off his tongue.

“Mhm, why don’t you start off by telling me why youcalled.” her voice is low and oh so inviting and he can’t help but let thewords tumble out.

“Just, busy..I guess. I work a lot, not really thetype to date just to date, or have meaningless hookups.” He’s shocked that he’stelling this complete stranger the truth and what’s more shocking is that he’snot that shocked. Maybe it’s the fact that he has no idea who she is, or thatthey never, ever will talk after this, and it’s not like he’d see her down atthe local, she was just a voice, a soothing voice.

“Ah, I see.” She murmurs.

“See what?” he asks, she speaks like she has himfigured out, and he doesn’t even have him figured out.

“You’re protective of your heart. You want the realthing.”

He make a sort of strangled scoff, only because she’sright, this girl he’s been talking to for all of five minutes has himcompletely pegged.

“I get it, you’re protecting yourself, but even thoughsomething might not last, think of all the things you’ll have learned. Don’thide away because you’re afraid.”

If he wasn’t afraid he wouldn’t have made this phonecall. So that part was true.

“Still there?”  

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here.” He replies.

“Just imagine, someone cuddling up next you in the morning,your stiff cock pressing against them, they wiggle a little and you groan withhow good it feels.”

He whimpers low in his throat because that IS hisfavorite way to wake up.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret, we like it, wescoot and wiggle back for a reason, we love to feel your warm hard cock againstus.”  

“What do you normally do when you’re in that position?”She asks.

He gulps hard, “I-I slide my hand up to cup herbreasts, feeling the nipple harden under my touch.”

“Do you pinch or squeeze?”  

“Definitely pinch.”

“Mm, it’s the best.” She sighs, “I like it real hard,make me moan.”

“Yeah,” he breathes heavily.

“Then I guide your hand between my thighs…”

“You’re wet.” He says almost sleepily his hand is slippingunder his boxers.

“So wet, you’re fingers find me and rub and rub myclit, while pushing your cock so it’s digging into my ass, desperate to beburied inside me.”

He groans as he strokes himself, she whimpers, “I’m soclose.”

“But right before you push me over the edge, I stopyou, wanting you to be inside me so we come together.”

“Top?” she asks through her ragged breaths.

“Top-top.” He mumbles.

“I straddle you, rubbing myself against you, and youthrust up.” Just as she says it he thrusts up into his hand.

“I free your cock, oh god you’re throbbing and sofucking warm. It makes me wet, I’m so wet.” She moans.

“You slip inside me effortlessly. Deep, you’re sodeep, Damon.” She moans loudly.

He grunts as he slides his hand faster up and down hiscock, “Slow.” He whispers.

“Mmm, it so good.” She hums low. “Grinding againstyou, ahh, oh—fuck..it’s so good.”  

“Harder, please, Damon I need it harder.” He grunts inresponse.

“Scream.” He tells her as he speeds up his hand.

“Oh god! Yes! Yes!” she moans along with a string ofprofanities.

“So good.” He says strangled. “Fuck.”

Her moans are growing, “Come in me!” she shouts.

He comes all over his hand with a deep grunt.

Their breathing is ragged and then they sighsimultaneously, he clears his throat the reality setting back in, “That wasgood.” She says, her voice hoarse.

“Yeah.” He replies soft and shy.

“Call back anytime, yeah?”

“Sure,” he says not knowing if he really means it.

“Don’t be afraid,” she says before the line goes dead.

He stays in his position a bit longer until he decidesto get up and shower.

———-

PerfectStranger

As the lift doors shut Finn takes the time to lookover his appearance in the mirrored doors. Hotels were standard, it was veryuncommon for an encounter to happen anywhere else. Once or twice it was at ahome, but it would cost. He never wanted to enter anyone’s sanctum, only wantedto do his job. He was an employee, a hired assistant, and assist he would, inwhatever need the woman desired. It was the standard dinner first, full ofhushed voices and blushed cheeks, to get a feel of how things would go, then itwas up to the room.

After working for some time he found not all of thesewomen were desperate, in the sense they couldn’t find a man to do the jobproperly. Although men was the issue, it was the sheer lack of chivalry theyexpressed, the way women spoke about all that’s lacking in their stories waseye opening. These women wanted nothing more than to be desired, wanted,adored, and that’s where he would come in, for a price. His first job was nerveracking, but she was shy and soft spoken, and when it was all over with he leftwith a lighter heart and the belief that he helped her, helped Izzy.

He buttoned and unbuttoned the top button of his shirtrepeatedly unsure of which was better suited but before he could pop the buttonopen once more the lift stopped and the doors opened, an older attractive womanstepping inside. She was taller than him with her heels on and a form fittingdress that hugged tightly around her cleavage. He took a side step allowingroom for her. She reached over pressing a button.

He smiled and bowed his head politely at her, shereturned with a seductive smile, “Oh, I see you’re going up?” she purred.

“Yes.” He replied, with a nod.

“Shame, I wanted to go…down.”

His mouth pulled up into the approximation of a smilethen the lift dinged after going up one floor and the doors opened, “Goodnight.”He bowed his head slightly and stepped out into the hall.

It was strange this client didn’t want to have dinnerfirst, that was normally the regulars, and he would usually insist upon it. Ithelps to ease into things, get a feel for the person, but upon the initialcall, where guidelines and things are discussed, the gentleness of her voice,the fine hint of worriedness had him agreeing to meet in her suite.

Upon walking up to the door of the suite he unbuttonedthe top button of his crisp white shirt, loosening the collars. He ran hisfingers lightly through his perfectly quaffed hair, and tugged on his blazerbefore knocking on the door. Waiting a moment he heard footsteps and a woman’svoice, “Oh, bollocks!” He let out a small breathy laugh through his nose as sheyelled to wait a moment.

The door opened and he tilted his head examining her,when he met her eyes he smiled up at her through his lashes, “Rachel?”

“Yeah, that’s me, but it’s Rae…you can call me Rae.”she stammered, with pinch blushed cheeks.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Rae. I’m Finn.”

She let out a nervous laugh, “Uh, Come in! I mean,please do come in.” she stepped aside as she opened the door allowing him to enterthe massive suite.

He stepped in taking in the elegance of the suite, amass of bay windows to show lights of the city twinkling in the distance.Turning around he took a step towards her, “Spectacular view.”

“Oh, the city, yeah.” She mumbled taking a step backfrom him. “I..uh..took the liberty of ordering some room service, I’m not surewhat you would’ve liked so I just made a few selections.”

“That is very thoughtful of you.” Finn spoke as heturned to face her. Her smile was shaky.

“Why-why don’t we have a seat.” She stepped aroundhim. He turned and followed her to the small sofa. On the coffee table therewas a few plates laid out. She sat in the middle of the sofa, and thought hedidn’t want to be too brash, he needed to let her know that he wanted to bethere.

He sat next to her, their bodies touching from theirshoulders to their calves, “Are you hungry?” he murmured.

“Oh, no-no…I’m fine.” She smiled weakly. “I’ll just…”she trailed off as she stood to move around the far side of the coffee table tosit on the chaise.

Smiling softly at her he hoped to encourage her alittle, she was nervous. Her tick was wringing her hands together.

“Are you hungry?” she asked, with a hopeful look.

“Not particularly, no.”

“Well, then I guess we should discuss ourarrangement.”

“If you’d like.” He responded, it was normal for newclients to want to rehash the details of their arrangement.

“I understand your cost perfectly, well. But you seethe nature of this is not about sex.”

He furrowed his eyebrows curiously, and she continued,“It’s about intimacy.”

“Intimacy?”

“Yes. You see Finn, well, to put it plainly, I want tohire you, for the next month and a half.”

“Six weeks?”

“Yes. Now, I understand you may have other clients butI am willing to pay you generously if you agree to this.”

He sat up straighter, “Explain to me what you want,exactly.”

She smiled shyly and looked down to her wringinghands, “The thing is…” she began, “if I can speak candidly…This isn’t me.”

Looking up at him she laughed humorlessly and shookher head, “The way I’m talking, hell the way I’ve dressed, not me. I cuss likea sailor.”

He couldn’t help but smirk at that, “Look, I’m just asimple girl who got lucky when her uncle died and left her a business shedidn’t know existed and a ton of money. So, I had to put on, this charadebasically, to show I could handle the pressure. But now, I’m stepping down andletting my good friend and partner handle everything, he’s much better atbusiness than I am.” She shrugged.

“And,” he pushed.

“And…” she smirked, her cheeks blushing, “Well,there’s this guy. There always is isn’t there.” She laughed lightly. “He’s anassistant to someone in the office and well, I like him, and turns out he likesme, but he’s away on business with, Mark, his boss at the moment.”

“Right,” Finn said to urge her to keep talking.

“Well, when he returns he wants to take me on a properdate.”

“That’s sounds, lovely.” Finn responds, he has yet tosee where he comes in.

“Yeah, it does, it really does, except…”

“What?”

“Well, I’ve never exactly dated anyone before.” Shemumbles, but he hears her plain as day.

He opens his mouth to speak but she continues, “Never,held hands, never cuddled, no real kissing, nothing basically, I’m a 25 year oldvirgin for Christ sake.”

She sighs and her shoulders slump, “I just I don’tknow how to react to that type of stuff, or I’m afraid of how I will react, andif this goes somewhere with, Seth, that’s his name, then I don’t want to make atwat of myself, by flinching because he put his arm around me or something.”

When she looks back up with him her eyes are shinywith hope but also sad, and he feels poke at his heart for her, “When do Istart?”

Her smile is impossibly bright, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he’d have to clear his schedule which washeavily booked but something told him, to help her, he wanted to help her.

“Thank you. Shall we talk cost? I’m willing to pay youa hundred for the six weeks, does that sound fair, or do you have a counter?”

It felt like his tongue slid down his throat he’s sochoked, he never would have ever guessed that’s how much she would be willingto pay him.

“That’s…a very generous offer.” He stammers.

A slow smile spread across her face, “You come highlyrecommended.” She says softly, then, “So its settled, yes?”

“Yes.” He asserts.

“Perfect, we can start tomorrow. Be here about noon?”

He nods, “Are you hungry now, we can eat.”

He nods again, because now he does need a littlesomething to settle his stomach.

—

Hope you enjoyed!!!!! let me know xD

[wannawrite]

Intimidating

who?: Wanna One’s Hwang Minhyun

genre: 🌸

type: scenario

word count: 3808

similar to ‘flirtatious’ just more serious ;) tbh flirtatious is a personal favourite :”)

blog navigator.

• college AU - sort of, more like Junior College AU 

• minhyun finds you intimidating - but who wouldn’t

TYSM for requesting anon! haven’t written a proper scenario in awhile, kind of missing it, kind of missing bullet points. Sorry this is really lacking, I was super busy packing and getting ready for holiday. :( Apologies.

Posted after hiatus started by one of my friends.

- Admin L

__________

“Okay, so, it’s the new year soon enough and all of us will be Seniors, how do you guys feel?” Daniel asks, taking a long sip of his mug of cola.

Sungwoon sighs, eyes dreamy and reminiscing of the past. “Oh wow, the years just flew by so quickly. It felt like I just got my acceptance letter yesterday.”

Eyeing his younger brothers, Seongwoo giggles. “Ah, you guys will be Freshman next year. Be nice to Professor BoA, she’s a good lecturer and, she’s also the discipline mistress.”

Jinyoung gulped, drifting his gaze to his glass mug of soda, wondering why he was at his hyungs house warming anyway.

“Ahh! Professor Kahi and Lecturer Don Mills are very nice people as well, I’m sure you guys will enjoy their classes,” Jaehwan added. “I know I’m scheduled for one of Professor Teddy’s lectures next year, how’s he like?”

Immediately, Jisung put down his glass mid drink. “Wait! I have a lot of things to tell you! Okay, so you know how he has this...”

Minhyun tuned out to the loud chatter of his friends, sighing and tapping the sides of his own cup. There was so much he needed to plan for and handle in the upcoming year, it was pressing. Being the Vice-President of the school’s chemical and life sciences society, he had a lot on his plate. It was a pressuring role but Minhyun enjoyed his club activities and chores.

And I still need to do those slides on Criminal Law....let’s just make him a law major here ok?

“Guys, how about we make a pact?” Seongwoo offered, a harmless playful glint in his eyes.

“What kind of pact?” Jihoon enquired, even though he would only be a Junior next year and would not be involved.

Daniel chewed on his bottom lip, brows furrowed. “How about....”

“Asking your crush out!” Jisung offered, nearly falling out of his seat. “Yes!”

Woojin groaned but tried to cover it up with a cough. “Not this again...” he muttered to Jihoon, who nodded in agreement.

All year, they had to listen about their hyungs talk about their love lives and crushes. It must have been a side effect of all the stress from college. Surprisingly, Minhyun was the only one who had not revealed anything. He was always listening in attentively though.

“Ahh, I want to see who Minhyun hyung asks out,” Jaehwan pointed out. “We haven’t heard much from him at all.”

Minhyun chuckled, trying to fight of the redness that was creeping up his neck. “Ah no, that’s because I don’t have a crush on anyone at the moment,” he replied, hoping that his friends would buy it.

Snickers filled the small living room everyone was cramped in - but none of them complained because the company was more than sitting on the sofa. Minhyun could never lie to his friends.

“Hyung, you can’t lie to us, we’ve been living in his apartment for a whole two weeks and I’ve known you since high school, you can’t lie to me,” Jaehwan pestered, reading Minhyun’s face well. “I major psychology too.”

What does that have to do with anything?

Minhyun tried to keep his cool, fighting to suppress his laughter and a smile. He shied away from the rest of the questions, holding his glass of soda to his lips.

“Hyuuuuunngggg!” Daehwi dragged out as he flopped onto the sheep skin carpet in front of Minhyun. “You won’t even tell me?” Daehwi widened his eyes and stuck out his bottom lip, giving Minhyun the irresistible puppy-dog face.

That was how Daehwi got away with everything.

Minhyun rolled his eyes but brought the younger boy up to the couch for a hug, squishing Jaehwan off a little.

“That brat,” Jaehwan hissed under his breath. “Trying to collect all the hyungs.”

But he knew that Daehwi owned him as well.

“So, pact?” Daniel offered hopefully, a cheeky smile playing at his lips. “Last one to complete or break it treats all of us to barbecue.”

There was a moment of contemplation before one by one, all of the soon-to-be Seniors agreed.

Seongwoo crept closer to Daniel, pressing up to him against the sofa. “Niel-ah...I like you, let’s date.”

Then, he got up and did a celebratory dance, leaving Daniel to absorb in the information with his jaw dropped.

Three months into the pact and Minhyun was nowhere near meeting his end goal. Not because he still could not find a single soul to crush on but...but because his crush was...you.

And the worst part, the part that probably got in the way of him and you the most, the part that would surely prevent him from asking you out and the part, was that Minhyun was completely intimidated by you - so was a good half of the student body.

You were the president of the Current Affairs and Debating Club, treasurer of the Student Council and the relative of the college’s Headmistress.

Totally not scary at all, not one bit.

It was not just your achievements or social status but your personality scared the hell out of people. Everyday, you walked through the halls with your lips pursed, a serious glint in your eyes and your fashion sense on point.

Truthfully, you were just as friendly and bright as anyone else, your friends know all too well and never take the dramatic rumours stirred about you seriously. Just because of your reputation, everyone just assumed you were trouble, maybe your killer gaze had added to that fact.

“What the heck...” you cursed, dropping to the cold concrete to pick up the files and papers that fell from your arms - most of them regarded your club or Student Council affairs.

Ugh, why did I need to drop them? I’m nearly late for today’s afternoon meeting.

Suddenly, a pair of well-worn sneakers came into view as someone squatted down next to you, shuffling a couple sheets of documents in their hands.

Hwang Minhyun.

Hwang Minhyun.

A fellow member of the Student Council and the Vice-president of Chemical and Life Sciences Society.

Also the name of the charming man who had stolen your heart.

Standing up, you could feel your legs starting to tremble out of nerves and excitement from being so close to your crush.

Taking a deep breath, you collected your thoughts and emotions then smiled at Minhyun before removing the articles from his arms.

“Thanks,” you said, tone unintentionally clipped and sharp. If you said more, your voice would surely crack.

Without a second glance, you strutted off for the meeting room, forgetting the fact that Minhyun was headed the exact same way as you.

Run, run, run as far as you can away from Minhyun! If not, you’ll be a complete mess.

The sudden slam of the door shocked the rest of the council members who were already gathered around the long table. They stared at you, perplexed by your flushed face and seemingly out of place hair.

“Are you...” Kyla pulled her lips into a thin line when the person you were escaping from entered the room. A couple of the other board members let out hushed giggles.

As Minghao took head count, you tried to recover, arranging a couple of files and catching your breath.

Think about the work you have to do later and shut up about Minhyun!

You yanked out the wires from Vernon’s laptop so aggressively that he hopped out of his chair to check if all was well. He decided to help you set up your equipment that day.

“All right, everyone accounted for?” you questioned Minghao, who nodded and handed you the clipboard. “Good. Let’s start our meeting today.”

Usually, you were fine and bubbly around your board but today, you felt more tensed and serious.

It’s Hwang, he’s driving me crazy in the best way.

“Wow.”

Your eyes rolled at Kyla’s straightforward comment, shaking your head as you packed away your backpack.

“What was today all about? Who made you so mad? I nearly got goosebumps just listening to you talk today,” she groaned, rubbing her arms.

Freshman don’t know anything.

“Yeah! She’s right. You practically damaged his laptop and tore the clipboard out of my arms today!” Minghao wailed, gesturing to Vernon’s computer and then to himself. “I think I need to see a doctor.”

With a wave of your hand, you dismissed the issue and shut the both of them up. “It’s just Senior year stress,” you lied, avoiding all eye contact, but they probably would have bought the fib either way.

“Please,” Roa scoffed playfully, making her way into the conversation. “We all know it’s him that you’re affected by.”

You wanted to wipe her smug smile off or shave her wiggling eyebrows off. “Oh, gosh, grow up and stop spewing nonsense like this.”

With one strap of your backpack swung around your shoulder, you stormed out of the room, face tinting pink.

Roa skipped out after you and caught your shoulders, she linked arms with you and continued as if all was normal.

“Roa....” you sighed, knowing that her grilling would start anytime soon.

She stopped in her tracks and put her hands on her hips. “Why can’t you just ask him out? Is it that bad?” Her emphasis on ‘that’ made you ponder.

Eventually, you shook your head sadly and continued walking. “That can’t be it. It’s whatever, I’ll handle it.”

There was no way Hwang Minhyun was ever going to agree to go on a date with you. Never. Have you seen this man? He’s top class boyfriend material yet he’s never dated anyone. Rumour has it that he wants to focus on his studies instead of his love life, which you respected but it kind of crushed you.

Even after all these years in the Student Council together, the opportunity to talk and grow closer never came. It was quite upsetting if you were honest.

As far as you knew, Minhyun majored in law - like many others here - and even though it was a heavy major, he enjoyed his Chemical and Life Sciences Club and played an important role in the Student Council. He was a key member of this campus clique called Wanna One and came to school everyday either in a smart button down and slacks or a branded shirt - Supreme, Champion etc - and skinny jeans.

Minhyun had never dated a single soul on campus, perhaps he considered himself a lover of the law or married to his friends.

How even...what does he do to maintain his grades and other hobbies...

Just thinking about that made you feel incredibly sick.

He reminded you of a fennec fox, face wise. Minhyun was quiet, with a stony expression on his face, one that looked like he wanted to kill everyone or he wanted to kill himself, there was no in between. He only added to the discussion when deemed appropriate and rarely spoke about his personal life to his acquaintances.

Apparently, he blabbered a lot to his friends and could crack a good joke or two. Under his cold exterior was a heart of gold, a heart that could capture anybody.

“Why?” Roa asked, nudging you and breaking your train of thought. “Why don’t you think it’ll happen? You guys would be adorable!”

You admired her cheeriness and attempts to encourage you. Anybody would be lucky to have your close friend as their girlfriend.

“I can’t see it you know...”

“I can! So can the rest of your friends, like Minghao, Vernon, Daniel, Kai...."

“Shush! Hwang’s way too out of my league!” you blurted out, after realising so, you smacked a hand over your mouth and one to your forehead.

Roa smiled slyly, a teasing glint in her warm eyes. “So, you admit that it’s him?”

“R-“

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you guys will get together soon enough. Just ask him out!” She patted your back before linking arms once again and walking back to the dorms.

Minhyun let out a huff, stumbling down the lane that led to his apartment complex. His fingers wrapped around the itchy plastic of a 7/11 plastic bag, carrying the supper for Wanna One. Since he was the one who ended school the latest, he was on snack run.

Hastily, he scanned his card and made it through the front gate then to the lift lobby just as the doors of the lift were closing.

“Wait!”

Miraculously, they stopped and began opening with a wave on his hand. He let out a sigh of relief.

That sigh turned into one of disbelief and agony after he saw who was inside.

You.

And Roa.

“Oh! Hi Minhyun!” Roa greeted cheerfully, nudging you in the ribs.

You forced your lips into a smile, all your features hardened with the nerves that came with being so close to your crush.

Ugh, goodness, they didn’t even look at me...and that smile is so forced.

He just nodded- maybe in disappointment-before playing with his phone, scrolling up and down, tapping on random apps.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the elevator reached the floor he lived on. Minhyun quickly bid you two goodnight before disappearing like The Flash. He shuddered, planting a hand on his chest to calm his racing heart, at least his face had not gone fire engine red.

“Ah, gosh, they’re so intimidating.”

Months into the pact: 8 months 2 days People who have not attempted to ask their crush out: Hwang Minhyun Number of people left to finish: 1 Person who completed it first: Ong Seongwoo [bold]

That was the ‘to-do list’ that Seongwoo and Daniel had been charting on the whiteboard that hung in the living room of their shared apartment. It was also the first thing Minhyun saw when he walked out of the kitchen, mug of coffee in his hand, still bed-headed and sleep-eyed and clad in his navy bathrobe.

He wanted to use his brand new vacuum cleaner on his friends’ heads.

“What the hell...” he muttered, grimacing before taking another sip of coffee.

Jisung let out a low whistle, watching the situation from the kitchen island where Sungwoon was having his breakfast. The marble was gleaming due to Minhyun’s excessive cleaning.

“Wait, isn’t it prom just take it like any dance thing season soon? You can ask them to prom!” Sungwoon suggested, feeling a tad bit bad for his friend. Minhyun’s love life was close to non-existent, he was always too busy with studies.

Jaehwan nearly spat out his coffee. “Do you think hyung will be able to ask them face to face? A prom date will be so much harder to find.”

A lightbulb illuminated in Jisung’s head. He slid off the barstool and sat next to Minhyun on the sofa.

“Don’t worry, I think I have a plan.”

When a certified romantic, wise elder says they have an idea, you should probably trust them.

And that’s what Minhyun did.

Giggles.

Small laughter was the first thing you heard as soon as you walked into the lecture theatre on Thursday. Some classmates even had the audacity to point at you while their other hand smother their chuckles.

Irritated and confused, you marched to your usual seat with more force than intended, probably shocking your neighbours.

“Woah,” Roa hissed, taking her seat beside you. “What’s got you so worked up?”

“Noth-“

Your eyes fell on a white paper coffee cup, it seemed to be one from the cafe near campus, but it was decked out with a cute sparkly heart sticker and an orange post-it.

You felt your jaw fall open in surprise and disbelief. Curiosity filled your insides as you detached the note to read.

Heard you had a rough day yesterday Y/N, hopefully this will cheer you up! ❤ 

Just to double check, you flipped the note around to look for a signature, or any sign of whoever had sent this mysterious gift. There was none, it was a blank note.

Strange.

“Did anyone see who left this here?” you spoke out, hoping for a legitimate reply but as usual, half of your classmates only arrived a minute or so before lectures started and no one had a clue about the person who had left the drink there.

Peering at the liquid inside cautiously, you decided to take a small sip and found out that it was your regular order from the campus coffee shop. It tasted the same, no drugs, nothing funny inside.

Hmm.

You tucked the post-it into your wallet, wondering if you did indeed have a secret admirer. The thought of a person like that made redness rush to your cheeks. Despite all the possible bad endings, you clutched the coffee cup close to you, sighing dreamily.

Everyone had been so intimidated and scared by you, so it was safe to say your dating experience was very limited.

I’m delusional, this is crazy. 

But somehow, it felt right.

Yesterday was crazy, it had started off with you bursting into the hall ten minutes after your fifth final paper started. Of course, your intelligence gave you a huge boost and you were able to finish it.

Then, as if that was not enough, you only had about fifteen minutes for lunch because you had to handle some Debate matters. All you had eaten was a small appetiser before dashing off for your second last final while flipping through notes.

Today would be the last day of finals and you were already in a good mood, off to a good start.

The next day, there was an exact replica of the gift bestowed to you yesterday, just a different note scrawled onto the post-it. The handwriting seemed too familiar yet too distant to distinct. It occupied your thoughts throughout the entire day.

Vernon, Roa and Minki had a lot of things to say, most of the words they said were mocking you or laughing at you.

“Is it not prom season soon?” Minki winked. After hearing his words, Roa and Vernon could only gawk at you, causing you to bury your head in your hands.

A prom date? Non-existent. You only ever went your date-less friends and had a blast, who said you needed a date to have fun? However, you felt anticipation rising, perhaps this year would be different. It was your last prom after all.

Sighing, you stirred your iced water around with your straw. “But who could it be? I don’t know anyone...who likes me romantically,” you reasoned.

Yet, his name popped into your head and all your friends could probably already guess it without you having to say a word.

“No, it can’t be. He’s too good. I’m delusional.”

Jihoon eyed Minhyun warily as he keyed in his order into the machine and the printer churned out his receipt. He knew that Minhyun was not the kind of guy to stray from his black coffee with minimal sugar and milk for too long, yet he had not ordered that in quite a while.

“Hyung,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

Minhyun raised a brow, amused by the question. “Splendid actually. Why?”

Jihoon’s large doll-like went even wider but he said nothing, only sighed as he mixed up Minhyun’s order and delivered it properly - even drawing a heart in a different coloured Sharpie.

“H-how d-did y-y-you know?” Minhyun jumped back, hesitating to take the drink - well, your drink.

Smiling, Jihoon gave a playful shrug of his shoulders. “I just...know. All the best with later.”

Minhyun was finally going to ask you to prom and leave his name on the post-it, if it was not already crushed in his pocket. He could not keep his hands off it, checking every second to make sure it was still safely tucked in there.

The hallways were still yet to be illuminated as he crept along the corridors, leather shoes not making a squeak. He was used to arriving extra early to drop off the cup without being noticed.

He paused right outside the painted blue door, peering in to make sure no one was around. However, much to his horror, there was someone’s flashlight igniting the hall. The lamp on the lecturer’s table was also switched on.

Who could it be?

Gulping, Minhyun bravely stepped in, only to lose all of his courage in a second, it melted off him like wax.

You.

You sat, with your backpack, in your usual seat, swinging your legs and meddling with your phone.

“Oh, hello Minhyun!” you called out cheerfully, already knowing what he was here for. You swung out of your bench and climbed down the stairs to meet him.

“Is that for me?” The question came tumbling out of your mouth when you gestured to the cup, a smile playing at your lips, heart thudding and head spinning.

He did not argue, immediately offering up the cup with the post-it stuck on, you avoided reading today’s note. “Y-you knew?”

You nodded eagerly, you had waited for this day for a long time.

He slid into the bench as you shook out all the post-its he had been leaving for you.

“It had to be you. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

When he hesitated and stammered out some incoherent words, you nodded in understanding, blushing. “I get it, I intimidated the hell out of you...even after all those years in the same council.”

Ashamed, Minhyun could not bring himself to look you in the eyes. He was afraid of what you glossy orbs would tell him, they almost like magic globes.

The paper cup in your hands felt like a canvas that your future could be painted on - perhaps, the words PROM DATE were nicely painted on.

Your hand reached out to ruffle Minhyun’s neat hair, giving him a totally new look. His rosy red lips protruded into a pout but he said nothing.

Finally, your eyes scanned the post-it, and you took a double take, reading it over again and again.

P-R-O-M? Those letters rang like a bell in your head, fireworks and celebratory confetti washed over like a tidal wave.

“YES.”

At your words, Minhyun perked up, obvious surprise written all over his face, his face burst into colour and happiness soaked right into his bones.

“R-really?” It was like he could not believe those words had come out of your mouth.

You nodded happily, confirming your answer. “Let’s go be that intimidating power couple at prom.”

Eagerly, he agreed and laughed, already liking your hidden cheeriness. A shade of pink coated his cheeks, the ones that rose to meet his eyes whenever he grinned - personally, you loved that.

There was so much more under that your scary, icy exterior and Minhyun was willing to dig out more.

[freeyourheartandsoul]

Happier, Part 2.

Prompt: Happier pt 2 – anon

Author’s Note: Sorry it took a while! Hope y’all enjoy it! As always, thanks for reading and requesting! 😊

Happier, Part 1.

Master List. | Watt Pad.

Happier, Part 2.

The sun shining through the balcony window caused Stiles’ eyes to flutter open. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the light and for him to realize he was still on his couch. He had a crick in his neck from the awkward sleep position. It’s not something he wasn’t used to. He’d woken up on that couch plenty of times. What he wasn’t used to was (Y/N) sleeping soundly as her head lay in his lap and his feet were propped on the coffee table. Actually, he used to be used to this situation… nearly a year ago. They used to wake up like this all the time after movie nights and cram sessions. He’d almost forgotten how much he missed those nights.

As he studied her face now, he’s reminded by the bruising that they haven’t been like that in a long time. He gently caressed her cheek, just under her bruised eye, with the pad of his thumb. The anger began to boil inside him as he clenched his jaw, silently cursing the coward who dared to lay a hand on her. Stiles wanted nothing more than to hunt him down and give him a taste of his own medicine, but he knew (Y/N) wouldn’t want that. No matter how much pain someone would put her through, she’d never wish them ill-will. It just wasn’t her nature. She had too good of a heart.

Stiles forced himself to stop staring at her battered face before he was enticed to do something stupid. He gently lifted her head up and lay it back down on a pillow after he stood up from the couch. Clearly, she was exhausted because she didn’t use to be such a deep sleeper. Even the slightest movement used to stir her awake.

He quietly went to the bathroom before heading into the kitchen. Trying his best not to make any racket, he started some coffee and searched the cabinets and the fridge for some breakfast to whip up. Normally, he’d just scarf down a bowl of cereal before work, but he wanted to make her a real breakfast – some comfort food, if you will. A satisfied grin spread on his face as his eyes landed on a box of pancake mix and half a bag of chocolate chips beside it. Her favorite.

Half an hour later, Stiles was buzzing off his second cup of coffee as he topped off a stack of pancakes and plated the bacon. He was in the zone. So much so that he didn’t even hear (Y/N) wake up. When he turned around to put food on the kitchen island, she was standing on the other side with a shy smile.

“Morning.” He started with a soft smile. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

(Y/N) shook her head as she sat down on a stool. “No, the bacon did.” Her voice was hoarse. Her hair was a mess. You could tell that she was feeling self-conscious about the bruises on her face because she couldn’t look him in the eye. But Stiles still thought she looked beautiful… just a little broken.

He tried not to make a big deal of it, though, as he went on as normal. “You want some? I also made some chocolate chip pancakes.” He offered as he sat the plate of bacon and the stack of pancakes on the island. Her face lit up ever so slightly as she nodded her head, but he noticed it, and it only made him smile more. “Good. I mean I could probably eat all this, but then I don’t think either of us would be happy with the outcome.”

She giggled a little as he turned to grab some plates and silverware, and he couldn’t help but be proud of himself for getting her to laugh. He sat the dishes beside the food, then grabbed the syrup from the cabinet. “Coffee or OJ?” He asked as he sat the syrup with the food.

(Y/N) looked past him and saw an empty coffee pot. “OJ is good.”

Stiles followed her gaze. “Oh. Yeah, I kind of drank all the coffee.” He stated as scratched at the scruff on his chin. “But I can make more if you really don’t want OJ.”

“OJ is perfectly fine, Stiles. I promise.” She put two pancakes, bacon and syrup on her plate. “Besides, I’m pretty sure you’ve had enough coffee for the both of us.” She finished with a little laugh.

Stiles couldn’t help but grin a little more at her laughing again. He loved her laugh, and he was happy to make it happen after what she’d been through. “Yeahhh… you’re probably right.” He grabbed two glasses and the orange juice before sitting on a stool one over from hers.

The place got silent as they began eating. The only noise being made was the clatter of forks against plates. Stiles tried to steal glances at her without making it obvious. There were so many questions he had, and he was sure she knew he wanted to ask, but he wasn’t going to push. (Y/N) would talk when she was ready.

But boy was he getting anxious about it.

When he looked over at her again, Stiles noticed she had stopped eating and was just looking down at her plate with a solemn look. “What’s wrong, (Y/N)?” He asked full of concern. It’s then that he noticed she was crying as she sniffled and quickly wiped at her face. Stiles scooted over to the next seat and went to place a hand on her back, but she flinched a way. He quickly pulled his hand back. “Hey…” He said softly.

“I was thinking about taking a shower, but then I realized I don’t have any more clothes or anything…” (Y/N) confessed barely above a whisper.

Stiles nodded in understanding, “okay. Well, I’ll go get them. Just give –“

She quickly turned to look at him and cut him off. “No. Stiles, I am not letting you go over there.”

“Well, you sure as hell aren’t going.” He stated seriously. She sighed a little and looked back down at her plate of food. Stiles sighed as well as he ran his hand over his face. “Listen, (Y/N), I know you don’t want to talk about it right now, and I’m trying to be as patient as possible, but we have to get your stuff somehow. You can let me and some of my buddies go, you can get your friends to go, or we can go down to the station and deal with it there. It’s your choice.”

(Y/N) grew pensive, clearly weighing her options. “If you go, you’re going to try to kick his ass and then he would know where I am.”

Stiles scoffed, “First of all, he deserves to get his ass kicked and a lot more, if you ask me. Would I actually do it? No. I would behave for your sake. Second, I dare him to even step foot in this building and try something. Then I would kick his ass.” He stated as a matter of fact.

She looked at him with an arched eyebrow, “he’s like twice your size.”

“And I’m in the FBI. Your point?”

She laughed a little and shook her head as she continued to think and play with her food. “What about the station? What would I have to do there?”

Stiles shifted in his seat a little. “Well, you’d tell them exactly what happened. You could press charges, and he’d probably do a little bit of jail time. If that doesn’t work, you could get a restraining order and get an officer or two to help you get your things.”

(Y/N) shook her head, “he wouldn’t do any jail time.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because his dad is some big shot attorney.” She seemed pretty defeated at the thought of this guy getting away with what he did to her.

“Hey, look at me…” (Y/N) turned and looked him in the eye. “He won’t get away with this, (Y/N). I promise.”

(Y/N) nodded a little as she fought back the tears. “Okay. I’ll just go put on my clothes from yesterday and get ready.”

She stood up and started to walk away. “(Y/N), wait…” She stopped and looked at him. “Ahh… um…” Stiles rubbed the back of his neck. “Follow me.” He led the way to his room closet where he pulled a box that was buried under other things out of the back corner. He sat it on his bed and showed it off to her. “I… uh… I think you have a few clothes in here and some other stuff you might need.” He admitted, a bit embarrassed.

(Y/N) opened the box and rifled through her belongings she had left behind after their relationship. Sure enough, there were a few clothing items and even some of her toiletries. There were also pictures, CDs, books and some other things she hadn’t even realized she had lost.

“Okay, so… I’ll just leave you to it. I’m gonna go clean up the kitchen.” Stiles stated and started to walk away.

“Stiles?”

He stopped in his tracks and turned to her again. A minute later, (Y/N)’s arms were wrapped around his neck in a tight embrace. His arms instantly wrapped around her torso, relishing in the moment.

“Thank you.” She whispered into his ear.

“For what?”

She leaned back a little and her emerald eyes met his chocolate ones. “For being you and for being here for me.”

Stiles smiled sincerely at her as he brushed a hair away from her bruised eye. “I’ll always be here for you, (Y/N). No matter what.”

She smiled a little at him, “good to know.”

---

An hour and a half later, they were standing outside the police station. Stiles looked over at (Y/N) who was just staring at the doors. He could tell that she was nervous by the way she fiddled with her fingers, trying not to pick at her fingernails. The latter was a habit she broke two years ago during finals week. He hated that she was going through this. He hated that she was now another statistic who’s afraid to say what happened to her. And he hated that it was his fault. If he hadn’t been such a terrible boyfriend, she’d never be in this position.

“You ready?” Stiles asked after clearing his throat.

“No.” (Y/N) answered without tearing her stare away from the doors. She sucked in deep breath before slowly exhaling, trying to calm her nerves.

Stiles stepped in front of her view of the doors, breaking her trance. “Hey,” he placed his hands on her shoulders and noticed how she winced a little. “What was that?”

“Nothing.” She quickly responded, her eyes darting away from him.

He studied her for a minute, knowing she was lying. “(Y/N), if we walk in there and you tell these officers the truth about what happened to you, is it going to be about more than just what’s on your face?” Deep down, he felt like he already knew the answer, but he didn’t want to believe it. She didn’t respond, but he got all the answer he needed when she looked down at their feet. He sighed and ran his hand over his face.

“Maybe you should just wait out here.” Her voice was small and she still didn’t look up at him.

“I’m not letting you go through this alone. You know me better than that.”

“I just don’t want you to lose your cool or anything when you hear what I tell them.” (Y/N) wrapped her arms around her waist, putting her guard up.

Stiles clenched his jaw as every scenario of what happened to her ran through his mind. He knew he had to be the strong one for (Y/N) though. “Like I told you before, (Y/N), as much as I want to kill this dude, I’m not going to lay a hand on him. For you.”

(Y/N) finally looked back at him and studied his face for a minute. She saw the sincerity in his eyes, and knew that he’d do anything for her. But she also knew how he would feel once he heard everything, and it worried her. At the same time, though, she didn’t want to go in there alone. “Okay.” She finally agreed.

So, they walked into the station together. (Y/N) shared her brutal story of domestic assault and why she didn’t get away sooner. All the while, Stiles sat by her side, biting his tongue and shaking his knee as he held her hand. He was amazed at how strong she was during the emotional confession. She didn’t shed one single tear.

The officer assured (Y/N) and Stiles that this guy wouldn’t get away with what he did. If she wanted to press charges. However, he was also realistic with her. He admitted that the system is screwed up when it comes to situations like hers. The guys typically don’t stay in jail long – especially when a big shot attorney is involved. That news infuriated Stiles, but he kept his mouth shut, and tried to comfort (Y/N) with a gentle hand squeeze.

The officer did assure her that she could get a permanent restraining order, and anytime he violated it, he could be put back in jail. Even if she doesn’t press charges and just wants to get a restraining order, that would work too. He also offered to send a couple of officers with her to get her things.

Stiles thought that maybe the decision would be a bit overwhelming for (Y/N), but it didn’t take her long to decide. There was no point in pressing charges and getting him arrested because he would just get it expunged. The officer said she could fight it in court, but she didn’t want to go through all of that. So, she settled for a permanent restraining order and having officers help her get her things out of his place. Stiles hated her decision, but he didn’t argue with her on it. He was merely there for support.

“Now, I’m assuming you have a place to move into that he doesn’t know about?” The officer asked as he began wrapping up.

(Y/N) went silent. It was the one thing she hadn’t really thought about, and it was probably the most important part. She had yet to tell any of her friends or even her family. The first place she could think of was Stiles’, and she hadn’t talked to anyone since. Besides, he knew where they all lived. She looked down as she fiddled with her fingers and tried to think of someone to say.

“Me.” Stiles finally spoke up after being silent for so long. (Y/N) instantly looked up at him with shock on her face. “I have a spare room and he doesn’t know where I live. And if he does find out and tries anything, I’ll kick his ass.”

“You mean you’ll call the authorities.” The officer corrected.

Stiles looked at him seriously. “No. I mean, I – an FBI agent – will kick his ass if he comes anywhere near her again. Then, I’ll call the authorities.”

“Stiles, I can’t move in with you.”

“Yes, you can. At least until I know he won’t mess with you and you can get your own place. This way I know you’re safe.” He argued, and he wasn’t about to take no as an answer on this.

“I can’t say I agree with his tactics, but I do agree he’s probably your safest option. Besides, you went to him for a reason, didn’t you?” The officer pointed out.

(Y/N) contemplated her options. Could she really move in with Stiles and just be friends with him? Last she recalled, it was too hard for him to be just friends with her. Hence why they hadn’t spoken in so long. She was sure that he hadn’t thought about that. He was just spurting the first thing that came to his mind. This was bound to end badly.

Then again, the idea of living with him until the dust settled made her feel incredibly safe. She knew that he would do everything in his power to keep her out of harm’s way. Stiles was one of the best guys she knew. Hell, she never would have broken up with him if he hadn’t let school and the pre-FBI program take over his life.

Maybe it would be worth the risk. Maybe they would get back to how they used to be. She did miss him after all.

“Okay, I’ll stay with you.” (Y/N) finally decided as she turned to look at Stiles with a shy smile.

Stiles tried to contain his excitement over the fact that she didn’t say no, but nothing could hide the gleam in his eyes. He had no idea how this would work. Clearly, he still had feelings for her, and she definitely wouldn’t want to jump right into another relationship. So, he’d have to repress his feelings somehow and get over his inability to be just friends with her. At least he’d be able to sleep at night knowing she was safe across the hall. That’s what’s most important.

***

Two days later, Stiles carried the last of (Y/N)’s boxes into his apartment that was now theirs. Before they left the station the other day, the officer called (Y/N)’s ex to schedule a time for them to get her things without him there. The next day, (Y/N), Stiles and two officers went to her ex’s apartment and got most of her things. They weren’t able to get everything, though, because he showed up and (Y/N) didn’t want to be there. Quite frankly, Stiles needed to leave too because just seeing him in person made his blood boil. So, the officers scheduled a time for today and they all went back and got the rest.

“Well, that’s it.” Stiles said as he placed the last box on her bed. “I officially welcome you to your new home.” He gestured his hands as if to show off the place. (Y/N) gave him a weird look that shot his confidence a little. “You know, for now… until you find your own place… I guess.” He corrected as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“This is going to be really awkward, isn’t it? I knew this was a bad idea.” (Y/N) said worriedly.

Stiles immediately jumped to the defense. “What? No!” He exclaimed as he shook his head vehemently. “I mean, okay… maybe at first, but we’ll get used to it. We just need to get back into the swing of things.”

“Back into the swing of things?” She questioned, arching her eyebrow. “Stiles, we’ve never lived together. We have no idea how this is going to go.”

“We didn’t technically live together, but we practically did.” He stated with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Okay then, we’ve technically never lived together as just friends. There’s a big difference. Like what if one of us starts dating?” She questioned before realizing something. “Oh my gosh. Are you dating someone right now? Or what if we argue more as friends? What if you decided that you can’t be just friends with me again?” She was starting to panic, and it wasn’t exactly good timing.

Stiles stepped closer to her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “(Y/N), this is going to work out fine. I promise.”

Her emerald eyes were full of worry as she stared into his chocolate ones. “You didn’t answer my questions.”

He sighed a little, “I haven’t really dated anyone since you, (Y/N). The night you showed up at my door, a waitress slipped me her number and it took me a minute to even consider keeping it. And that was right after I saw that you were engaged. So, me dating someone shouldn’t be too big of a concern for you.” He confessed, trying to be as honest with her as possible. “And if you start dating someone, I’ll… I’ll get over it.” He was trying to convince himself more than her. “And what friends don’t argue? We’ll talk it out and move past it. Like we used to.” He let out a deep breath before answering her final question. “As for me deciding I can’t be just friends with you… I’d rather have you as just my friend than as nothing at all. I’ve experienced the nothing at all, and it’s not something I want to experience again.”

Stiles felt her tense shoulders relax under his hands. “Besides, this way you’ll be safe and I’ll be able to sleep at night.” He finished as a matter of fact.

That earned a small laugh from (Y/N), “I’m sorry this has put so much stress on you.”

He looked at her in a little bit of disbelief, “You’ve literally been going through hell with this guy, and you’re worried about it stressing me out?” He shook his head, “you’re too caring for your own good, you know that? You don’t have to worry about me. I’m just glad you’re safe and away from that despicable excuse of a human being.”

(Y/N) smiled half-heartedly. They grew silent for a couple of minutes and just looked around awkwardly. “Well, I’ll uh… I’ll let you get settled. If you need help with anything just let me know.” He offered before turning to walk out the door.

“Hey, Stiles…” He turned back to face her. “I know how you still feel about me and everything, and who knows where all this will lead, and I have missed you, but I umm…”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to try to seduce you with my rugged good looks and charm.” He joked, causing (Y/N) to laugh and shake her head at him. “Seriously though, I know you’re not ready for a relationship, and you probably won’t even want to get back together after living with me for a while.” He joked again.

(Y/N) shook her head again, “you’re an idiot.”

“Be careful, that’s part of my charm.” He responded with a smirk and a wink before disappearing down the hall. “I’ll fix burgers!”

She laughed as she ran her fingers through her hair. There was no telling how this living situation would turn out. All (Y/N) knew was that she was happy to have Stiles back in her life. She really had missed him, more than he probably knew. 

[a-simple-lee]

"If you steal the blankets, I will put my cold feet on you." with Dean and his little sister? She could have had a nightmare so slept with her big brother and all that ^ happened XD so he grabs her foot or something and blah blah fluff fluff XD love your blog!

Author’s Note: Ahh, thank you anon! This is such a cute prompt, and it was quite fun to write! Hope you like it

Send me a prompt

“D-Dean?” You stood in the doorway, one arm resting on the frame as you blinked away sleep. The vague shadowy lump in the bedding shifted, and you squinted to see your brother leaning against the headrest.

“What is it, Y/N?”

“I-I…I can’t sleep.” Technically, it wasn’t a lie. Those nightmares had left you sure you wouldn’t be falling into slumber again anytime soon.

“Uh, alright? Do you- just come sit down.”

   Stepping tentatively into the room, you sat on the bed, turning sideways to face Dean.

“You ok?” 

“Yeah. Had any leads on the case?” It was always easier to just say you were okay. You knew Dean didn’t like talking.

“Sammy said he found something - we’ll check it in the morning.”

“Ok.” Slowly, you lay down, pulling yourself under the blankets and staying with your arms folded. A brief silence followed, before Dean interrupted.

“You could have just said you’d had a nightmare, you know.”

“Whatever.”

“C’mere.” You turned to see your brother with his arm outstretched, and shuffled closer.

“If you steal the blankets, I’ll put my cold feet on you,” You warned, thinking back to multiple incidents where you’d ended up lying in the cold thanks to Dean Winchester, also known as the world’s worst Fidget.

“Sorry, did you say something?” Suddenly the warm bedding was ripped brutally away, causing a gasp to rush out. 

“D-dean!” With an amused huff, you wrestled your way back under the blankets, deliberately lifting your legs up so your icy feet rested on Dean’s stomach. 

“Holy Sh*t!” You felt your sibling flinch away, followed by a hand reaching down and grabbing one of your ankles.

“Ooh, you b*tch. You’re gonna pay for that,” Dean pushed your foot away, still gripping it like a vice as you giggled at his reaction. However, the feeling of one finger slowly trailing up your sole caused you to squeak.

“Dehean! No!”  

“Dean, yes! You come into my room, and put your icy feet on me! You gotta pay!” Now scribbling lightly over your arch, his fingers picked up the pace, making you throw your head back and giggle childishly.

“Dehhehean! Plehehease!” The bedcovers were now unwanted, only getting in your way as you squirmed.

“Please what? Carry on? Gladly.” You could hear the evil older brother smirk in his voice, and shook your head in response. Out of the blue, the fingertips moved to wriggle under your toes, and you had to grab a pillow to shriek into, worried your laughing would wake Sam up.

“Stahahaha!” Pleas muffled by the fabric, you kicked your free leg slightly, trying to distract yourself from the feelings coursing through your nervous system at such an ungodly hour. 

“Right, if you apologise, I’ll stop. If not, then I guess you’ll wake up Sammy with your laughing. And he won’t be pleased,”

   The thought of both of your brothers tickling you to tears brought back flashes of your childhood - of wrestling matches in motel rooms, and play-fights on the roof of the impala. Fear tried to force its way in with thoughts of the nightmare…but you couldn’t remember it. The nerves that had previously compelled you to go to Dean’s room in the first place had disappeared. Instead, it was just you and Dean, having a stupid tickle fight at who knows when in the morning and arguing over whether he was a blanket-hog. Hysterics continued to flow from your mouth, volume increasing despite your best efforts.

“Dehehehe!”

“Do we have to wake up Sammy, then?”

“Nahahahaha!” A zing of anticipation flicked up your spine - Sam would most definitely help Dean if you woke him up. The painstaking choice between surrender and complete decimation loomed over you, and when one of Dean’s fingers worked its way between your toes, your resolve snapped.

“Fihihihihine! Ihihi’m sohohorry!” Seconds later, your foot was released - tossing the pillow aside, you rubbed at the tingling nerves gingerly.

“You better be.” Dean warned playfully, reaching over and tweaking your side for good measure. You twitched, and snuggled closer to him.

“You’re suhuch a jerk,” A residual giggle slipped into your words, the pair of you lapsing into silence as your sibling reached down and tousled your hair.

“G’night,” He muttered. You smiled.

“G’night, Dean.”

   There were no more bad dreams that night.

[ftpositivityproject]

aeselyn