#aka one of the best things that ever happened to this goddamn show

[jamiesfootball]

📓 give me a glimpse into ur mind

Let me tell you about the Greater Richmond Pet Acquisition (aka Give Jamie Tartt a Cat)

So it starts here with Jamie, having just joined the team again in season 2, and he is struggling. He basically blew up his life and its in pieces and he's having things that definitely are maybe panic attacks

He accidentally ends up befriending Higgins.

Higgins who back in season one through poor late Cindy Clawford's collar into the curse fire. Since then they've gotten a new cat (who i had the perfect name for but i can't find it in my drafts and my tagging is shit), and just like Higgins shows Jamie pictures of ducks and the memes his kids use that he doesn't understand, he also shows Jamie pictures of their cat.

So Christmas rolls around, yeah? And Jamie fucked up secret santa, and Higgins invites Jamie to his house for the team Christmas but that doesn't feel fair to the team

(and him and his mum are still on the outs, have been for years, and one of these days he's gonna be accountable but he's not so much of an asshole he's not so much like his dad that he'd just drop in on her unannounced at Christmas)

So he spends Christmas in Richmond alone with the bottle of champagne that he got at secret santa and it's brutal and he's lonely and he sees an ad on the telly for an animal shelter and decides screw it- I'm gonna get a cat. If I'm gonna be miserable and lonely like an old cat lady then I might as well have a cat.

So he goes to the shelter and he's thinking 'yeah i'll get a nice sleek cat one of those cool posh ones with the markings' and then he finds this ginormously rotund squash faced orange fat bastard and just. laughs.

His name is Big Ben and he's a surrender. His previous family up and moved, and they decided they didn't want him anymore. He came from a house with three kids (responsible for the kinda lame name) but no one ever really gave him any attention. He was kind of a nuisance. Always underfoot. Always yowling for attention. Too needy. They were a bit relieved to have an excuse to get rid of him to be honest.

Jamie is weirdly upset by this and can't pinpoint why. He gets the cat.

He gets a bunch of cat stuff - beds and toys and a robot litterbox that cleans itself - and he takes the cat home an he's like 'wait what the fuck did I just do?' Because he's never had a cat, or a dog, or any sort of creature relying on him to keep it safe. So he looks up Youtube videos on 'what to do when you've fucked up and bought a cat' and they're like 'well start them off in one room in the house' and Big Ben hates that.

It's a horrendous first few hours for both of them, Big Ben yowling at the top of his big unhappy cat lungs while Jamie is about to lose his goddamn mind, spiraling and on the verge of a panic attack because oh god he didn't just fuck up his own life now he's hurting this big giant fluffball cat the cat is crying fucking hell what do I do I can't call Higgins it's Christmas

So he breaks. He lets the cat out of the room and Big Ben barrels into his legs and starts purring. Loud. Like the loudest a creature has ever purred in its life. And he's looking up at Jamie with it's big green cat eyes and it's making little chirpy noises.

"You wanna hang out with me, buddy?" Jamie asks, and he feels stupid, talking to a cat, and Big Ben leans against his legs and-

-tiiiiiips over. Flops right over on Jamie's socks and looks up at him with his big adoring face like Jamie's the best thing that's ever happened to him.

Jamie could get used to someone looking at him like that.

[hausofmamadas]

NUGGETS OF BENJAMAYO | aka just gif dump of my madness about 1 measly scene

✴︎

For Narcoctober's Day of Visuals - Oct 6th 5th (posted on the 6th cause I generally suck and my life is a mess) leftover from Day 1's fic

Okayokayokay so I made so many extra gifs for my Benjamayo fanfic that were theoretically set aside days ago for the Narcoctober Day of Visuals (I know that much like “fetch” Benjamayo is not a thing but much like the legendary Toaster Strudel heiress, Gretchen Weiners, I am very much trying to make it happen) and legit thought the prompt was Oct 6, not Oct 5 but I already have an amnesty day post technically I haven’t gone to sleep yet …? So technically yesterday is still today regardless of the date...? and I can’t not share these bc LET ME DO TELL YOU, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS INTERACTION FOR LITERAL YEARS NOW so without furtherado

The scene in question: Benjamin schmoozing at Dina’s wedding, shaking babies and kissing hands, spots Mayo and decides, fuck it- he’s in a good mood! Little social butterfly, precioso is feelin’ himself. It’s a wedding, love is in the air! Why not take a moment to go flirt chat with Mazatlan’s very own Camarón King of actual sex Not Giving A Fuck About Anything Pretty Much Ever, Ismael El Mayo Zambada and this is how it starts off. First, Mayo asks the waiter?/waitress? if the shrimp in the shrimp cocktail is fresh but manages to pose it in the most sexy way, it’s actually borderline disturbing just how fucking hot this man is asking about fucking shrimp of all fucking things then again, passion in one’s professional pursuits is pretty hot …? But like no, I really don’t think that’s what’s happening here

Then Mín, little pep in his step, La Reina del Baile, glowing even more than the bride herself, strolls up and basically is like, “Bish, that’s a spiffy new hat. You buy that with the money you made movin’ shit through my plaza? cause there’s more where that came from if you’re interested in a sugar daddy🤭”

At which point Mayo is lowkey like🫣 oh god, what do I say now. Is he trying to strong arm me, what’s the angle. I really don’t wanna start shit rn, I’m so full of shrimp, like ngl I don’t even think I could run away without making myself sick and he tries to keep things simpatico but like the extra mile he goes??? This sly mf is smiling at Mín in a way that resembles a little too closely how he smiled at the waiter/waitress. And sure, maybe we can chalk that up to just Mayo a ho. He a May-ho sry, I just– you know I set myself up to spike that ball and I couldn’t not no matter how bad it was sksksksks and Mín rolls with it, he does one of those blind-and-miss-it thousand yard stares which I will devote an entire gif set post to later bc he does it more than once throughout the show and it’s actually devastating and shoots his shot, “pero imagínate que no tuvieras qué”

So anyway, this establishes what? Mayo a May-ho, right. And Mín is lowkey liiiiiiiiiiiiving for this shit bc he thinks he’s got an in. And do you know what tf this savvy, spritely little Drug Lord Dilf-Nymph of Tijuana does????????? something Miguel would never dream of doing in a million years, not just bc he’s homophobic asf and deeply insecure about his entire general essence as a human being, but he doesn’t have a fucking f r a c t i o n of the affable, boyish charm that Mín does HE FUCKING FLIRTS RIGHT BACK. TAKE ONE GOOD GOTDAMN LOOK AT THE GIFS BELOW AND TELL ME HES NOT FLIRTING. YOU DONT FULL-BODY SCAN SOMEONE UP AND DOWN LIKE THEYRE THE FUCKING THANKSGIVING TURKEY AND YOU HAVENT EATEN IN DAYS UNLESS YOU’RE SEXING THEM IN YOUR MINDDKSSKSJWB I MEAMaaaan–

BUT DSKWJWJWIEIWJWJSB THE BEST FUCKING PART ABOUT THIS ENTIRE THING?????????? MAYO IS SO DOWN FOR IT. THE SHIT-EATING GRIN HE GETS ON HIS FACE LIKE MANS IS SO GODDAMN FLATTERED, MANS IS SO ABOUT IT, HES LITERALLY THAT GIRL DAFFYDUCK GIF, ALL BATTING HIS EYELASHES AND UNDRESSING SEDUCTIVELY, OKAY LIKE

WHERE IS THE LIE Spoiler alert: IT’S NOWHERE, THERE IS ONLY TRUTH OKAY and then Mayo does this real cute thing all appealing to the control freak in Mín, saying he likes to be his own boss, “no más que tú sabes” and all that AND THEN, AAAAAAND THEEEEEENNNNNNN FOLKS HE JUST. KEEPS. ON. MF. GRINNING. AS IF HE COULD GRAB MIN BY THE TINY LAPELS OF HIS TINY SUIT AND PLANT A BIG WET ONE RIGHT THERE ON HIM, RIGHT ON THE DANCEFLOOR IN FROMT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLELWKWJW W

and then he has to scramble for something else to say bc he knows good goddamn well that they've been making eyes at each other for far, far too long, so he's like "ohshitohshitohshit ohhhhh look there's Azul, the closest boner killer within reach besides Rayo hey, you know where home is!!!!!" AND THEN MIN, FUCJINGAKSJFNLKQJWELKJN DOES THIS WAY-TOO-INTIMATE HEAD NOD AND SMIRK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING TO MY PARTY ERM IMEAN DINA'S WEDDING, IF YOU'RE EVER IN TOWN GIRL CALL ME

NO BUT EVERYONE LITERALLY SHUT UP AND SITDOWN ALL FIVE OF YOU BCTTHENNNNSI;RAJQPO23IJRPOQJIWEFOH THE WAY MAYO SAYS CLARO, AND IT'S THE EXACT WAY I WOULD IMAGINE LIKE HOW HE'D GOODBYE LOVE PAT A ONE NIGHT STAND ON THE SHOULDER AS HE'S OPENING HIS FRONT DOOR FOR THEM TO LEAVE ???????? IDK IDKIDKIDKDA;WOJEF;AOIJ AND THEN THE LITTLE PRIVATE LOOK OF LIKE "idk what the fuck that was but I'm- y'know i really didn't hate it......"

it just- i mean i'm sure we're all in agreement that i'm insane but like what other conclusions am i supposed to draw in the face of this raw, objective evidence

☇

taglist: @narcosfandomdiscord, @narcolini, @ashlingnarcos, @drabbles-mc

[soul-wanderer]

06x15//What Are You Willing To Lose - weekly recap

I don’t think I can cover everything in this recap, because man, there’s so much happening in this episode and I have a whole lot of feelings and thoughts about certain plots, but let’s try to get to it (aka almost one week later because man, that ep was a lot, and then I got sick, hence the slight delay, so consider this a refresher after the break between eps):

- Andy telling Ross “I can’t afford to lose you” - can we talk about this, please? Can we? This still hits me right in the feels a week later, and I don’t think I’m gonna be over that anytime soon, thanks for asking

- Ross being genuinely surprised that Andy and Maya did not tell anyone else about the photos (apart from Carina) and that they’re on her side - that moment just had it all, and I love that they have them sticking together instead of them tearing each other apart. Ross clearly did not expect that, probably didn’t think she’d ever deserve this type of loyalty, but Andy and Maya still show up for her, and my god, am I here for this. And Andy is totally right that they need someone like Ross in a position like that.

- Andy and Travis both trying to be a good friend to the other, and it’s just the silliest and cutest thing, and I’m here for that friendship, too  (especially because “hos over bros”), especially the scene in the end where Travis is there for Andy

- I’m gonna try to keep the Theo as captain recap short, but let’s just say: He was rightfully upset about the house being a trap for both the people living there and his team. It’s his job to keep the team and everyone else safe and out of burning buildings alive, and that job was made impossibly harder when he figured out what was going on. It’s not his job to be empathetic or to counsel anyone at the height of an emergency, BUT we see him backpedal one moment later, when he sees how desperate this woman is and IMMEDIATELY softens and tells her they were gonna do their best, before going back to work and that’s really all that needs to be said about this situation. Same with him having to make the decision to leave Warren behind - Ross was right there and watching him, and he cannot possibly risk more lives to save the life of one team member (+ it’s protocol, too), even if the mere idea of leaving someone behind hurts. He would have made the call, and he would have been right about it, too

- Ross owning her “mistake” in front of a bunch of dudes and giving a goddamn fantastic speech while she is at it. Man, that episode really gave us all of that. I mean: “You know, in the short time that I have been here, I have seen this union look the other way when sloppy firefighters who should have retired years ago made fatal mistakes on the job. I've seen it allow a serial sexual harasser retire with full pension instead of face discipline. And this is where you want to draw the line? [...] No, I am pro-union! I am anti a system that has a million things wrong with it. [...] I fought to drag this department kicking and screaming into the 21st century, to make your jobs safer and better", they really gave us that and I love it

- Maya being cute on her date with Carina, that’s all. That smile is gonna kill us all one day, and it’s gonna be a fucking fantastic death

- I will never, ever forgive the editors/producers for making these goddamn awful cuts between Maya and Carina in the shower and a man fucking dying in a burning house. I mean, what the hell? That was a downright horrible decision.

- Andy. My goodness, Andy. And her trauma. Like, finally? They’re finally acknowledging that trauma doesn’t simply disappear? Thank goodness. Thanks to whoever remembered. And thank you for the portrayal of such raw and heartbreaking emotions when Andy told Warren, “You fell through the roof”, that just about wrecked me in a million different ways, but in a good way, so thank you for that

- Ross telling Theo he did the right thing. Thank you for that, too. And I guess Jack confirming that wasn’t too bad either.

- And they acknowledged Carina’s trauma too, and the contrast was so beautifully portrayed. Carina wants them to be okay. She wants their marriage to be okay. But it isn’t. And she can’t pretend, and she realizes that and realizes they got more work ahead of them. And Maya just...acknowledges Carina’s pain and is there for her. It’s heartbreakingly beautiful, that’s all. Now, let’s hope Carina finally accepts some professional help as well.

- Sullivan being an ass. Honestly, will there ever be a week where I don’t have to type this out? I can only hope so, because that man is getting on my nerves, badly.

- Theo and Vic are not communicating well right now. That doesn’t make them toxic, that doesn’t mean their relationship is about to end, this doesn’t mean that they’re awful human beings. It just means they’re both fighting their own battles and they suck at talking and they’re being human and sometimes relationships just are like that, okay? They’ve been through so much and they’ve come so far, this will not be their breaking point (or at least not forever)

- last but not least: I am not here for them trying to create fake drama between Theo, Vic and Travis via that “old friend” they introduced. They need to stop recycling that storyline in Shondaland, before I flip some tables, seriously.

[tubbytarchia]

Living in Estonia as it becomes possibly the most expensive EU country to live in rant

Oh my god, oh my god?? Up to 2022 Estonia for many years was declared the country with the best tax system, and you know what? Yeah. Life was decent, but previous governments fucked everything up by making things too comfy, what's the result? And keep in mind that almost ALL of these have already risen by maybe 10-20% at the least in the last year

Gas prices set to raise by 27% to 75% Water price set to raise up to 400% Nursing home prices have already doubled company charges set to raise by 60% Continuous VAT increase, set to increase by 20% at the start of the new year and then more later on, which raises all prices (And store items have already increased, in some cases by double what they cost in 2022! So a total of about 70% food price increase in January!!) Harsh car tax in 2025 Sugar tax up to 25% No confirmation but safely assumed in the near future: Significant increases in alcohol tax, fuel excise duty, land tax, social tax, work insurance tax, deforestation tax (ok cant complain with that one lol I guess?) ON TOP OF the current inflation, euribor increase, salary decrease etc

By 2027, if things were to stay the same, Estonia would be 1.7 billion eur in debt. This is because previous governments continued to introduce fixed costs (mostly to families (AKA if you have kids), companies and the elderly. I can confirm personally as my sister gets pretty ridiculously big sums from the country for having a child. And in the past, establishing a company was a very easy way to earn a ton of money from the country without any drawbacks. Pensions have been increased multiple times, while the number of elderly in Estonian has only been growing) without really finding sources to cover those costs. Our economic growth should grow by like 10% a year to get this money, which obviously isn't going to happen. The country has no option other than to raise costs for all the commoners who earn average or less than. At least, those are the only people having their lives thrown into a goddamn shitpit. Because the country cannot take money away from pensions, military, education and state employees like police and teachers (though teachers' pay is already criminally low). And if we took loans we would just be paying billions of loan interest in 2027

No outside investors will want to come here anymore with the ridiculous prices, and I can only assume that that's why we don't ever get good goddamn things. We got GameStop and Subway which then less than a year later left. I wonder why?? And given the VAT increase which shows no signs of stopping, Estonia is set to become the country with the most expensive food prices in Europe

Estonia still has free education and healthcare (at least... for emergencies) so I feel like I automatically can't complain much given that places like the US experience price increases too on top of stupid education and healthcare prices. But holy shit? How am I ever supposed to move out and live? If I ever have to leave my parents' place I'm getting the fuck out of Estonia and I hope many dozens of others do too. Again, not that the current government has much other choice but idk, can't help but wish they just taxed the shit out of rich people or sum. Just tax rich people regardless, in every country, why can't we tax those guys more instead of the poor etc. It's maddening, how are any of us supposed to live

[skinnyscottishbloke]

TOP SHOWS PART ONE

Okay here’s a list of my top shows, in no particular order, based on rewatchability, acting, cinematography, writing, surprising moments, and overall season by season/series satisfaction

HEARTSTOPPER

Perfect 10/10 A+ emotional fluff serotonin producing GORGEOUSNESS. The casting, writing, directing, acting, music choices, cinematography, and impact could not be improved in any way. I cannot wait for s02!! Queer joy forever 💖💖💖 Nick and Charlie are my children now and need to be protected at all costs.

SENSE8

One of the most unique, stunning, surprising, and satisfying shows I’ve ever seen. A+ 10/10 would not change anything (except how it got cancelled, fuck off Netflix). ALSO QUEER JOY FOREVER 💕💕💕💕 The Wachowskis are goddesses of film making sorry it’s true I don’t make the rules.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

It’s kickass, it’s groundbreaking, it’s funny, it’s campy, it’s sad, and the 90s fashions are ON FUCKING POINT. It’s a classic for a goddamn reason okay??? For a show about supernatural beings it manages to be one of the most human and relatable things I’ve ever watched.

PEAKY BLINDERS

A show about working class gangsters with a Roma background set in Birmingham England right after WWI?? YES PLEASE. Amazing acting and costume design and a whole lot of ‘what the fuck just happened?!’ moments. Come for Cillian Murphy as Tommy Shelby, stay for Helen McRory as Aunt Polly. Cause she’s a baddaassssss.

LEVERAGE

Found family found family found family!! A show that manages to take 5 main characters on arcs that end in better places than they started, which is so so refreshing. Incredible acting, and plots that manage to combine humor and gut punches with a slight hint of camp (aka my happy place). Added bonus for calling out capitalism and corruption without seeming too overbearing. 10/10 A+ no notes.

BLACK SAILS

Technically it’s a prequel to Treasure Island set during the Golden Age of Piracy; realistically it’s a hell of a lot more surprising, heartbreaking, and GAY than that. Another show that manages to make you go ‘what the fuck?!’ at every turn. A+ costumes and cinematography. And the characters themselves are so complex and intriguing; they’re angry and defiant and have a relatable ‘we’re gonna lose this war but we WILL make it an end to remember’ energy. Also Toby Stephens as Captain Flint. I mean. GODDAMN.

BONES

Probably the most ‘normal’ show on this list but like. IT IS SO GOOODDDD. The cases are well done, the cast of characters is interesting, the music is on point and so poignant, and the finale is satisfying. Do they have some misses along the way? Yeah for sure. It ran for 11 seasons it’s not really a surprise there were some problems. But they also had great representation for an early 2000s show (Cam, a black woman, running the lab, Angela being bisexual), great plot arcs, and some of the best individual television episodes I’ve ever seen (Gravedigger anyone? Judas on a Pole?) Plus these 2. I just love them so much.

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

Where do I even start with this one? Cool world building? Check. Awesome animation and design? Check. A wide variety of characters, especially nuanced and non stereotypical female ones? Absolutely! ATLA will make you laugh, cry, and think about the world, all in one episode. Then there’s Zuko. His arc is just one of the best examples of character growth ever seen on TV. I love this show as much as the cabbage merchant loves his cabbages. 10/10 A+.

NORTH AND SOUTH (BBC)

If you love period dramas but are sick of shows that focus exclusively on upper crust rich people problems, watch this 2004 mini series. It’s based on an 1850s novel by Elizabeth Gaskell and follows the story of a girl who grew up in the countryside in the south of England but then moves to the grittier, darker, more industrial north. There’s in your face poverty, worker’s strikes, political upheaval and a whole lot more. It’s fabulous. Brendan Coyle and Richard Armitage star and let me tell you, RICHARD IS IMMACULATE. It also features the BEST ONSCREEN KISS OF ALL TIME I MEAN JFC LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE I AM DEAD.

BROOKLYN 99

Aaaaahhhhh this show!! It’s diverse, it’s poignant, it’s clever, it laughs at toxic masculinity, it’s quotable af, it’s a sitcom that proves you don’t have to be an asshole to be hilarious. The ensemble is lovable, the relationships are on point and oh, did I mention it’s HELLA QUEER? 10/10 everyone go watch.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Doctor Who

I love particular seasons of it but not every doctor or season soooo I can’t really say it’s a favorite all time overall show. Ninth and Tenth Doctor tho? THOSE ARE MY BOYS.

Merlin

I know I know I know - how is it not a top show when 60% of my blog is Merthur? Idk man. I’ve only watched it once and I really like to live in the fic universe more. Sorry. Maybe I’ll do a rewatch and my feelings will change but until then…🤷🏻‍♀️ I still love you Colin and Bradleyyyyyy.

Good Omens

Another show that I’ve only watched once. I absolutely ADORE the Aziraphale and Crowley dynamic but I don’t really care about the rest of the show or characters? So I can get all the ineffable spouses cuteness I need from fic. I am looking forward to s02 though!

The White Queen

Based on a Philippa Gregory novel, this is another Tudoresque historical drama telling the story of Elizabeth Woodville and the Wars of the Roses. The acting is really good and the pacing well done. I’ve watched it a few times and really enjoyed it.

[mayday-jd]

HOLY SHIT IT'S BANDIT FROM BLUEY!!

anyways time to talk about jerry so I can FINALLY finish this show tmr or this weekend so on we go

alr so this is a weird one if you don't register simon's old love story this episode was weird (not /neg) it felt off and I think that was the point

so the gang is now stranded in this literally deserted universe with no signs of life since the remote is fucking dead it has no more juice

they're basically shit out of luck and since they're no sign of life anywhere they already assume there isn't a crown around so yeah everyone's pretty bummed out about that especially cake but not exactly for such reasons

cake is upset with fionna for seemingly not trusting her since she grabbed cake the exact moment she was about to get the crown (ignoring she was about to get eaten by the vampire king) so to cake fionna is being a mother hen and sees her nothing more than a house cat AKA not a capable and independent person

but cake can't really communicate that yet since she's pissed so her and fionna end up fighting/bickering like a mom and her kid

fionna doesn't really regret getting cake out of trouble she's just upset that they're both fighting and just wants them to make up but yk kinda hard to do that when cake's not in the mood to do so soo fionna's bummed out for a lot of the episode yet again (goddamn fi)

enters everyone's favorite ex-cursed old man simon who doesn't really know how to comfort someone for the life of him

so what does he do?? he decides to tell fionna a story.. of how he met betty yippee

and honestly it is very sweet seeing simon cheer fi up with that story like whenever he picks up that she's sad or feeling down he just starts narrating and it's very nice to watch and fionna enjoys it too so win win

but we'll get back to the story later rn let's talk more about the besties and their disagreement

so this is where literally the only living person comes into play (not really but shhh that's for later) and that is our little guy bmo who cake founds when she goes for a walk after another little argument with fionna (there's a lot of those)

bmo doesn't really know what happen all she knows is that everyone turned into skeletons one day but the bmo the gang meets pretends to not know that and just keeps on living life as if everyone's gonna come back I mean finn even left a "brb" note how could they not return?? 🙂

so bmo's pretty nonchalant about the whole deserted universe thing because there's jerry anyway so at least he has company but jerry will come up later

even when they're mad at each other they're still the best friends ever them being upset with each other is upsetting to me man

[fangirlandtheories]

any steddie fics you recommend?

I have so Goddamn many, you're going to regret asking me that.

--If He Ever Hurts You   by:Castlewood_Bard

Eddie wraps Steve's wounds because that's what they both deserve

While not very far into the story yet, this first chapter packs a punch. As a lover of hurt/comfort, this fic will leave you thrilled with it’s descriptions. Very well written.

Status: Work in Progress

--Benny’s Soup    by: lilac_cc

Benny's soup has magical healing powers. Or three times Steve takes care of someone else, and one time he gets taken care of.

One of my all time favorite fics, although the Steddie is light, is there. A commonly used trope, this fic centers around Steve progressively sicker after helping all of his sick friends, which like *swoon* It’s so perfect and I love it dearly. 100000/10 I highly recommend.

Status: Complete

--they'll only break your heart again, it isn't worth it darling by:Thebeloveds

five times Eddie was forced to have dinner with the Harringtons and the one time he refused.

Very very good, but equally devastating. It’s all in the way that Steve feels like he deserves to be treated badly, and Eddie’s insistence otherwise.

Status: Complete

--The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting:  by: Badpancake

It’s the first time in a while that he doesn’t know what comes next. He’s dove into the water hundreds of times. Screamed as his flesh was torn apart, heard Master of Puppets in the distance and held back tears. Felt Max’s cold, small hand in his as she laid in the hospital bed. There are things that always happen, no matter how hard he tries: El doesn’t arrive in time. Eddie dies. Max is put in a coma. Steve fails. They lose. “Steve. How many loops have you been through?” His head is nodding, and his eyes are watery, and Eddie has approached him like a spooked animal. “I lost count.” AKA: The one where Steve Harrington is stuck in a time loop, and Eddie Munson is really fucking hard to save

Incredibly well written, the characterization is immaculate and the way they write the trauma and exhaustion that Steve is going through is *chefs kiss* 

Status: Complete

--Sub-culture: By:palmviolet

“Is he whining about Eddie being mean to him again?” Robin is leaning in the doorway, eating a leftover slice that’s probably cold by now. “You talk about him more than you talk about girls, Steve, it’s getting concerning. Anyone would think you had a crush.” or, steve is pretty convinced eddie now hates him. turns out eddie has the opposite problem.

Obviously I couldn’t make this list without including one of the most popular fics for Steddie. It’s popularity is incredibly well deserved and the slow burn enemies to lovers trope is done with absolute perfection. Definitely a must read.

Status: Complete

--Reputation by: Mrssreid

“Don’t be alone, anymore, Stevie. We’re all here for you, I’m here for you. You always take care of us. Let us return the favor, please?” Steve leaned forward until his forehead rested against Eddie’s, his eyes closing as he finally let silent tears fall. He licked his lips before he responded, “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” “Promise?” Eddie whispered. Steve nodded again, matching the volume of the other’s voice and saying, “Promise.” or; Steve has trouble measuring his worth. A new crush on the newest member of their group doesn't help at all.

I love seeing Steve discover how loved he is, and this fic definitely ticks that box. 10/10.

Status: Work in Progress

--Now It’s Your Turn, Baby by: datfangirlman

“We'll just have to show you! I mean, If you don´t believe us, we just have to show you that he does in fact take care of us and that he is no longer a jerk.” “Are you setting up a challenge, Henderson?” “Yes?” “Alrighty then! Let's see the new ex-king of Hawkins!”

Or where Eddie Munson doesn´t believe Steve Harrington has changed. It only takes a challenge to show him he has.

Wowzers do I love this fic. Like it's possibly the best one I've ever read. I mean this in the absolute best way, but this is like a trainwreck waiting to happen. You can definitely feel Eddie’s love and respect growing for Steve, and vice versa, but there’s a nagging feeling as a reader when you know that some devastating angst is on it’s way. 10000/10 I love this fic.

Status: Work In Progress

--Look After You  by: Steddieon

He remembered screaming. He could excuse it as panic, the threat of the unknown piling on top of everything he’d already bore witness to over the past days. But really, Steve’s grim smile and 'no complaints' echoed in his head, and Eddie couldn’t help but feel like this should have been expected.

or, Eddie notices that Steve is a little too willing to jump head-first into danger, literally, and can't fight the urge to figure out why.

Another very sweet story of Steve learning about his own self worth, just with a little extra spiciness. Love this!!!

Status: Work in Progress

--Hold You Till The Morning    by: down_underussy

11 times someone was in need of Steve Harrington's "life-saving" hugs + the one time he needed a "life-saving" hug of his own.

Mom Steve is the best Steve and if you agree, this is the story for you. Very well written so far, and the author does their best to make sure every character is included. Love it!!!

Status: Work in Progress

--Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit  by: Bonechewer

Steve is insecure about his place in relationships after Nancy. Now that he's dating Eddie, he’s trying his best to be a good boyfriend, even at the cost of his own emotional needs. He just can't shake the thought that someday Eddie will see all his flaws and decide he's not worth it.

Anyone who has read my work can tell you that I’m a sucker for insecure Steve, and this fic delivers.He’s a bit of a mess, but aren’t we all?

Status: Work in Progress

--Find Me Somebody to Love  by: genesisofrhythm

Steve arrives at Max’s trailer in record time, breaking nearly every driving rule in the book on the journey. The lights are on despite it being past midnight, and Steve can hear some loud crashing sounds even from where he’s standing outside. “Fuck it,” Steve says, deciding he better go in. He runs into the trailer at once, bat in hand, thanking whoever left the door unlocked. He’s taken aback at the scene. Max is kneeling on the ground, pleading with her mother to calm down. There’s shattered glass everywhere on the floor, broken beer bottles lined up against the walls. Max is barefoot, only wearing thin pyjamas, and is slightly shaking. The whole room stinks of alcohol.

Or: 5 times Steve cared for someone and 1 time someone took care of him.

Mama Steve again, but this time, he’s not messing around. 10/10 highly recommend.

--Critical Hit   by: Lune_rose140

Months after the final Upside Down battle, Steve and Robin are working at Family video. Despite Hawkins still being a ghost town. Eddie has finally graduated. He and his uncle Wayne have moved into a nicer house in a nicer part of Hawkins. Wayne doesn't want The Hellfire club the have meeting at the new place because he wanted it to be kept clean. Somehow Steve gets stuck with the role as host for The Hellfire club's Saturday DnD game.

Steve has really shitty parents, luckily Eddie is the best. Very well written and the ending is very gratifying.  10000/10

Status: Work in Progress

--Some Cupids Kill With Dice   by: horrormoviebarbie

Steve Harrington doesn't have time to date. In fact, between working multiple part-time jobs and raising two rambunctious and poorly-behaved preteens, he doesn't have time for much of anything. And it's fine. He's fine. He's having an absolutely awesome time slinging ice cream, sorting DVDs, and dodging questions from his friends and family about his love life. That is, of course, until the twins come to him with a simple request: go to Parents Night and sign them up for Mr. Munson's Dungeons and Dragons club.

Or, the one where Steve is a tired and overworked DILF who may or may not be smitten with his kids' eccentric and bizarre English teacher.

Super fucking cute! I love the portrayal of both Steve and Eddie in this so much!!!! I can’t wait to continue reading and seeing where this story goes.

Status: Work in Progress

--Let Me Adore You by: god_hates_tyler *18+*

Steve goes to see one of Eddie's shows. Eddie gets hit on and Steve gets a little jealous. Eddie takes him home to remind him he's his, but Steve gets a little too overwhelmed and ends up having to safeword out. Eddie takes care of him, as they discuss what went wrong.

One of the best smut fics I’ve read! It’s very sweet to see how much the pair care for each other, while still giving you that satisfying vulnerability that leaves you feeling satisfied.

Status: Complete

--You'll Be Dancing Once Again (And The Pain Will End) by: Fangirlandtheories

Steve always seemed so unaffected, which led to some brutal honesty, Sometimes he just wished it could be a bit less brutal. Then again, he was the meanest to himself.

Or: 5 Times someone accidently put Steve down + 1 time someone picked him up.

Okay so this one is obviously my work, but what can I say, I recommend it haha. I will shamelessly self promote. In all honesty though, this is the piece I'm proudest of and I would love to share it with as many people I can. I wouldn't put it as high ranking as these other fics, but it's special to me.

I'm 1000000% sure there's so many more incredible fics that I have read that I'm sure I'm forgetting to list here, but these ones really stood out to me.

[constellaj]

top ten danny phantom episodes based solely on how gay dash is in them

i will not be ranking these based on plot, animation, or literally any other criteria ok here we go

10: Public Enemies

dash himself is not very gay in this one but danny does beat him up and he gets the angst of being possessed and not remembering what happens. also this screenshot is literally so gay

4/10 for wasted potential in proving dash is gay. this couldve gone so much harder. but bonus points for for passed out dash

9: Doctor’s Disorders

fellas is it gay to lock yourself in a bathroom stall so fenturd doesnt see the horrible monster youve become, tell him to ‘get away,’ and then pass out before being able to fight him despite being a school jock who could probably deal some damage and has a better immune system than the other kids? is it also gay to then when your entire life revolves around ghosts and having ghost powers to watch a sappy romcom while waiting for phantom to come save you? the answer is yes. 6/10 again it couldve gone harder

8: Frightmare

again dash himself isnt explicitly gay in this episode. but danny why is your ultimate dream scenario being best friends with dash and having him know your secret. it gets a higher rating than the other two bc its literally a wish fulfillment scenario aka 174% more gay. but mathematically speaking 2/10 for baiting me with dash in the first two minutes and then never bringing him back

7: Forever Phantom

“watch it, fentertainment tonight! i’m chasin’ a real somebody!” 10/10

also spending the entire episode devoted to hanging with phantom + another reference to the romance channel. not very nuanced but still very gay

6: Reality Trip

what do you think it means when the school jock finds out your secret, wastes exactly 0 time in helping you, and finds a way to shoehorn in giving you his clothes to wear while doing it. dash was only in this entire movie for like 4 minutes but damn if he wasnt homosexual for all of them 7/10

5: Ultimate Enemy

”but dash wasn’t even IN the ultimate enemy!!11!1!” EXACTLY. if older dash had been in the future with dark dan he simply would have smooched him and then there would have been no conflict. if younger dash had shown up to the big fight then dark dan wouldve broke down sobbing at what couldve been. they had to restrain dash from this entire episode bc of his power. 9/10 i know the truth.

4: Splitting Images

it is important to remember that dash has no goddamn idea that’s sidney. danny literally does 1 (one) nice thing for him and dash decides “ok well i will be his best friend and play football with him and be impressed by his skills and then throw a party and also put my hands on his shoulders several times.” this proves my point that if danny werent a little shit he and dash would already have been dating by the time the show starts. 8/10 for letting dash be mundanely gay instead of knowing anything about ghosts. it doesnt happen very often

3: Attack of the Killer Garage Sale

do you ever just get a tutor who happens to be the exact sister of that nerd you pick on and also call him a twink and then invite him to your party even though you do not have to and specifically tell him the dress code and get him at the popular kids table and then realize he might not have the money for the dress code so you intentionally seek him out to give him money for some computery thing you dont know about but you also also realize that probably isnt enough so last minute you change the entire dress code to something you know he has and wear his exact outfit to make him seem cool by comparison. do you ever do that.

also these two shots are back to back 10/10

2: Micro Management

the pièce de résistance of all dash content. im talking 20 minutes of nonstop dash. im talking taking every opportunity to talk about how cool phantom is. im talking abt getting grabbed by phantom to be saved by him. im talking abt having a mental breakdown cause you think youre not good enough. im talking about casually flirting via jokes. im talking being unable to stop thinking abt fenton even when youre face to face with your biggest hero. im talking about saying “we did it!!! :D” to cheer on said hero. im talking taking his hand. holding his hand. being lifted or pulled. im talking abt flipping the switch to save the day! im talking abt micro fucking management baybey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12/10

but what in the goddamn world could have more gay dash than micro management??? well ill tell you

1: Pirate Radio

he SAVES him. he calls him a hero. they are on EQUAL FOOTING and they KNOW IT. they have MATCHING GODDAMN OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!! dashs personality doesnt have to be absolutely scrapped for him to be gay (”but i will be wailing on you”) but he clearly DOES get better (”sorry, old habits.”) he puts his heart and soul into fighting side by side w danny and we dont even SEE dashs parents which means that is Not Exactly The Reason he Is Here. he also believes with 0 hesitation that fenton is capable of throwing a total rager. NO there is not as much dash here as in micro management but. i mean look at these screenshots. THIS is gay representation. THESE are some genuine fucking boyfriends. 18/10

[versadies]

Hi, how are you? I hope you are doing fine, id like to make a scenario request, its mostly comfort- it can be either with Bennett, zhongli, venti, kaeya, Lisa, characters that doesn’t mind skin ship- it can be platonic or romantic scenario, you can choose- I recently lost a friendship, me and this person were honest to god so close, I’ve never really opened up this much to someone, I tried my best into trying to get back into what it was but it was in vain. I literally gave all that I had to this friendship, and in the end I didn’t gain anything back, i feel so pathetic it’s even hard to type all of this. So instead of trying to keep pushing into it- after 4 months, I’ve decided to let go. Still hurts a goddamn much. Do you mind doing a scenario which reader has been real quiet, just down, doesnt want to eat, wants to be left alone, ( aka silently trying to hold it in) and when one of those characters ( again you can choose) ask what’s wrong the reader finally breaks? It has been months since someone “looked out” for them, or cared enough to ask, usually the reader is the one that gives advice and listens, and seeing someone trying to care for them makes them at first even angry, or defensive, then they break? Idk if it made sense but I hope so, I just need comfort cuz losing a what used to be close friendship hurts a lot, Eitherway, thank you and have a good day

 WE’LL BE ALRIGHT (hc scenario)

penpal: losing a friend is one of the worst things that can happen in life honestly and i salute you for opening up, i hope things will get better for you soon 🙏

warning/s: none (?)

sypnosis: in which the reader finally breaks down in front of the character.

characters: diluc, childe, zhongli, jean, beidou, and venti. (some of these hcs are platonic but can be a before-dating scenario) 

note: ik diluc isn’t mostly the type for skinship but he’s honestly such a really good comfort character (a majority of his voicelines are just so sweet). as for the reader’s gender, i suppose it’s considered gender neutral since there isn’t any mentions of the reader’s pronouns. 

-> diluc is observant so he’ll start noticing the way you act quickly and will be concerned.

-> at first, diluc actually thought you were just tired from your work until kaeya suddenly brought up about it out of concern. this causes him to often check up on you without you noticing.

-> diluc couldn’t help but feel angry and disappointed. not at you, but the people who always come up to you for your help and not notice your state. why can’t they see how you’re exhausted and not in the right state to help them?

-> as much as he desperately wants to confront you, he couldn’t bring himself to do it in fear of invading your privacy.

-> it wasn’t until diluc was patrolling around mondstadt for the abyss when he saw you nearby with a solemn look on your face when he saw an opportunity to confront you. he wonders what you were doing at such a late hour. it wouldn’t hurt to ask if you’re okay, right?

-> before diluc could show himself to you, you’re suddenly ambushed by hilichurls, causing him to immediately bring out his claymore and run up to the scene.

when you slowly open your eyes, you first see diluc standing in front of you with a concerned look on his face as the last hilichurl fades away to atoms.

“are.. are you okay?” he asks, checking around you to see if you’re injured.

your breath hitches.

you didn’t know what triggered it, the concerned look he gives that no one has ever done to you in a long time or the aftermath of a near death experience from hilichurls. whatever it was, it made you break down.

“do i look like— do i look like i’m okay?”

diluc was taken back by surprise. “forgive me for—”

“i.. i almost died and you’re asking if i’m okay—” you stopped for a moment and look away from him to try calming yourself down.

the darknight was even more surprised when you started crying, causing you to frantically wipe your tears away as your tears continuously falls down.

“i’m not okay.” you whispered. “i-i don’t even know why everyone thinks that i’m okay. i.. i just can’t keep pretending that everything is okay when it’s not and i’m so... i’m so—”

your breath hitches when diluc suddenly wraps his arms around you for a comforting hug.

“it’s ... it’s alright. let it all out,” he said softly. “i’m willing to listen.”

you stayed quiet for a moment, processing what diluc just said.

you slowly hug diluc back as you let your tears run down.

“it’s alright, y/n,” he reassures you, patting your back comfortingly while you continue to cry your heart out.

“you’re not alone anymore.”

-> childe will instantly know that something's wrong but can't pinpoint the reason. why are you not eating your food much? did someone threaten you that made you stay indoors often? is work giving you a hard time?

-> it’s honestly not his first time encountering something like this; it reminded him of his siblings whenever they feel down and want to isolate themselves from others. however, he didn’t want to jump to conclusions just yet. he does owe you a lot for guiding him and stayed by his side in liyue harbor even though you’re fully aware of his job and role. 

-> the first thing he’ll do is visit your humble home with a gift.

as you lay down on your bed staring at the ceiling, you suddenly heard knocking from the front door. you slowly sat up with furrowed eyebrows. visitors? you couldn't recall inviting anyone to your home nor requested a delivery from wanmin restaurant.

reluctantly, you walk towards the front door, cautious of the other side of the door.

as soon as you open the door, you saw a familiar ginger haired man.

"hey there, comrade!" he greeted.

your eyes widens in surprise. "...childe? what are you doing here?" you ask.

childe laughs. "what? not even an "i miss you"?" he ask jokingly.

"ah.. sorry,” you replied with a smile, though childe noticed how it doesn’t reach your eyes.

“is it okay if you could let me in?”

you hesitated for a moment. “you can come in." you said, opening your door wide for childe to enter. "it's been a while since i haven't seen you, how have you been?" you ask.

"i should be the one asking you that." childe retorted, entering your house and place your gift on top of a table nearby. "i wonder what kept you so busy since you and i haven’t talked for weeks now.”

you immediately look away from his gaze, glancing around your surroundings with a guilty look on your face. “oh.. sorry, work has been keeping me busy.”

he hums. “that’s not what katheryne told me.”

your face pales. “well uh.. today’s my day off..” childe hid his frown, what could possibly make you avoid everyone and lie that there’s nothing wrong?

“you do know that you can tell me anything,” childe said, causing your eyes to slightly widen. “just… can you at least tell me if there’s something wrong—?”

“why… why are you doing this, exactly?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. 

huh? childe was dumbfounded. “what do you mean?” 

“why are you trying to check up on me? don’t you have better things to do than wasting your time on me?” 

childe couldn’t believe what he was hearing, what made you think like that? “y/n, you’re my comrade, of course i would check up on you. who made you think that the fatui is worth than you-”

“no one!” you exclaimed. “i just don’t think you should waste your time on m-”

your breath hitches when you felt childe wiping your tears away. you didn’t realized you were crying until now. 

“i don’t know what happened to you but.. do know that i’m here for you, alright? i’m here for you just as much as you are here for me. whenever you need me, i’ll go to you.” he says as you stare at him astonished. 

“don’t force yourself to tell me what happened, take your time and just let me know if you need someone to talk to, oka- oof.” childe was taken back by surprise when you tackled him with a hug, closing your eyes as tears continue to fall. 

“thank you, childe.” 

->    venti is a big admirer of yours. just seeing you being so kind and helpful to most people made him feel at ease that there’s still truly kind-hearted people in this world. though it does feel amusing to the bard that a kind-hearted person such as you would act so differently when drunk.

->    from hanging out with you so much in mondstadt’s best tavern, venti would immediately wonder where you have gone to. he noticed how you stopped visiting angel’s share but partially didn’t think too much of it since he assumed you were busy with your job. however, after sara asked the bard of your whereabouts along with some people, that’s when he started to search for you.

->   when he confronts your friends, all they replied with was they have no idea what happened to you and how they all tried looking for you in the city. 

->    the bard started to be concerned when he still hasn’t heard from you as days grew by. he then decided to go out from the city to find you. where could you be if not in mondstadt and your home?

->   he found you in starsnatch cliff at night. 

“oh y/n,” venti sighs in relief when he sees your familiar figure. “i’m glad i found you. we were looking for you for days! you almost gave me a scare haha!” 

you didn’t respond. 

“hey,” venti calls out, his smile getting smaller. “y/n?” 

he sat down beside you. “y/n...? you okay?” he softly taps your shoulder, causing you to flinch in surprise. “venti? wha..”

“so you’ve been here all this time, eh?” venti looks up at the sky. “i must say though, i can’t blame you for going here. the stars are truly something worth staring at.” he commented.

“what are you doing here?” 

“i was looking for you, duh.” venti said, as if that fact was the most obvious in all teyvat. “i went to find you and see if you’re okay and safe. everyone’s worried about you-”

“you want.. to know if i’m okay?” you asked.

venti looks at you with a raised eyebrow. “...yeah?” 

your eyes narrows. “why?” 

“are we playing a question game?” venti asks with an amused smile. “i thought friends are supposed to look out for each other.”

he noticed how you looked away from him, not responding to his words. something definitely happened that made you not feel okay. “you can tell me anything that’s bothering you, you know? not that you should force yourself though, you can tell me whenever you want to and i’ll listen.” 

you continued to stay quiet, hugging your knees whilst staring at the sky. 

venti summons his lyre.

“say,” venti proposes. “why not i share my newest songs that i have not sung to mondstadt? with the stars and the view, my songs can definitely make it all the more comforting to this atmosphere ehe.” 

you glance at his direction before nodding in approval. 

venti brings out his lyre with a joyous smile. “let my songs comfort you if not my words of sincerity, dear friend.” 

"let me know if you want to start telling me what you're going through."

->    he knows something is wrong but won’t do anything just yet. he thought its best to give you all the space you need before asking what’s wrong.

-> it wasn’t until you started avoiding eating that made zhongli decided to come up to you and check on you. he’s aware that people need some alone-time, but harming themselves in the process? he won’t let this continue.

->   he’ll invite you to wanmin restaurant (without forgetting his mora of course) and made sure that the table you two would sit is far away from people who can listen to your conversation. 

“it’s been a while, y/n.” zhongli said as the both of you sat down on your seats.. “have you been faring well for the past days?”

“it’s... debatable.” you reply with a small smile. “why have you invited me to eat with you?”

“straight to the point, i see.” he says in amusement. “i invited you here to check up on you. as i said before, it has been a while since you and i last talked. i hope you think this isn’t a waste of your time.” 

you furrowed your eyebrows. “what do you mean checking up on me?” 

“...was i not specific enough?” zhongli tilts his head, confused as well. “i want to know if you’re alright-”

“why?” you ask. 

“why not?” zhongli retorts, now copying your expression. “i just don’t think it’s worth asking, so why bother?” you said with a huff. 

“well to me, it’s worth asking,” he grabs his cup of tea and blows softly. “so, are you alright or not?” 

you stayed quiet, hesitating on answering his question. zhongli took a sip of his drink, noticing how you hesitated. “penny for your thoughts?” he asked.

“i... i don't know. i don't know if i want to talk about it." you said with a sad sigh.

you look around and made sure that no one was nearby or is listening. “i’m sorry for avoiding you and everyone. i just... can’t always give advice or listen, not when i too am in need of advise and someone who... who looks out for me just as much as i am to others.” 

zhongli frowns, placing his drink down on the table. “you have me, y/n.” 

you nodded in understanding. “i know...but i couldn’t help but think i’m wasting your time for someone like me-”

“you are never a waste of time to me, y/n,” he says sincerely, placing his hand on yours comfortingly. “throughout the days when you and i have not talked, there was never a time when i did not think of you and your wellbeing. you don’t have to keep everything to yourself anymore- not when i’m here for you. ” 

you couldn’t help but have the urge to break down as zhongli continues, “whenever you need me, i’m always here. i’ll gladly take you somewhere more peaceful and i’ll listen to you just as you did whenever i share my stories,”

“so please... when you're ready, you can share your burdens to me and i will gladly help you go through it.”

->   beidou may be a busy person but as the captain of her crew, she always looks out on her people, especially you, her dearest friend. you’re basically one of the most respected people in her ship due to how you are willing to help your fellow comrades when they need it, which she appreciates a lot whenever she has to leave the ship for some errands.

->    when you start to become distant, she and everyone in the ship will notice. unlike before, you’re mostly found either cleaning the ship, stare at the sea for a concerning amount of time, or in your room doing only celestia knows what. 

->   because of how concerned everyone is (and how they always hint to beidou to go to you), beidou decided to take matters her own hands and check up on you to see if you’re okay. 

->   though, beidou noticed how every time she tries to make a conversation with you, you’d make sure the conversation is too short much to her dismay and only listen intently if she’s ordering you to do something. she thought that maybe it’s best to leave you alone and let you have some time for yourself for now.

->   it wasn’t until she spotted you wiping you tears one night that made beidou confront you.

“hey,” beidou calls out softly, walking towards you with a concerned look on her face. “what happened? why are you cry-”

“oh sorry,” you whispered, sniffling as you wipe your tears a lot. why won’t your tears stop falling? “i didn’t mean to let you see myself in this state. you can go continue whatever you’re supposed to be doing, captain.”

beidou furrows her eyebrows. “and leave you alone after seeing you like this?” she gently grabs your hands and said, “you shouldn’t wipe your eyes so aggressively. why are you crying anyway?

you look at her judgmentally. “why are you asking?” 

she lets go of your hands and crosses her arms. “am i not allowed to look after my crewmates? everyone’s worried about you and so am i, we want to help yo-”

“you... want to help me?” you asked with an offended look on your face. “why now? why... why do you all suddenly care about someone like m-”

“hey now, why would you think that?” beidou was honestly astonished. all this time you have been thinking that everyone in the ship doesn’t care about you? did someone made you think of that way. 

she places a hand on your shoulder. “have you been thinking that we don’t care at all?” she asks softly, to which you responded by shaking your head in disagreement. 

you try to calm yourself down before replying. “of course not... sorry for that, i was just too caught up in my own head.” you slowly wipe your tears again and this time, it wasn’t as harsh and aggressive. 

beidou smiles reassuringly. “that’s fine,” she lets go of your shoulder. “but care to tell me what’s wrong, though?” 

you took a deep breath. “i just.. for the past month, i feel so alone despite having you and the crew. there’s always a part of me that feels like there’s no one who can look out for me and i.. i know you guys would’ve love to help but it’s just so-”

suddenly you felt beidou pulling you close to her and wrap her arms around you. 

“i’m sorry,” she says. “i’m sorry that i made you feel like you’re alone,” before you could protested that she did nothing wrong, she continued. “i know i’m always busy but i don’t want you to think that you should go through this alone.” 

she smiles and you think how can a smile be so sincere and comforting? “i promise that whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, you can always come up to me.” 

she then pats your head. “you can cry all you want now.” 

and so you did. 

-> jean would be lying if she claims that she doesn’t admire you. as the acting grandmaster, you’re a valuable knight with an aspiring future, but as jean gunnhildr herself, you’re a wonderful friend that she looks up to a lot. 

->  the way you’re willing to help out a friend in need without question, the way you carry yourself - it’s truly something jean admires for. not to mention, you’re definitely one of the people she comes up to for advice on non-related grandmaster work. 

-> due to how jean is busy with her duties, she won’t notice what’s happening to you until lisa or a concerned knight comes to her office about you. 

“y/n,” lisa takes a deep breath, her smile disappearing. “they don’t eat their food much, they always distant themselves from others- even me, and although i did give her the space she needs, i’m very worried of her wellbeing.” 

“as the acting grandmaster and as a friend of y/n, could you try checking on her and see what she’s going through?” lisa requested.

“i see,” jean says, frowning at the information she just received. “thank you for bringing my attention to this, i’ll try my best to find out what’s happening to y/n.” 

lisa smiles gratefully. “i’ll send y/n here in your office then. i wish you the best.” she said before walking out from the office. 

jean sighs, guilty that she only found out about this at such a late time. what kind of friend wouldn’t notice that their friend is visibly going through something?

“you called for me, jean?” you ask, entering the office. 

jean looks up at you and nods in response. “yes, i would like to discuss with you something important.” 

you frown. “did something bad happened?” 

she shook her head. “no uh, not exactly. i want to discuss something about you, actually.” she said assuringly. “forgive me if i’m invading your business, but a lot of people are concerned about you-”

“..am i doing a bad job?” you ask softly, taking jean back by surprise from your question. 

“what? no, no, you’re doing a really good job as a knight. forgive me for making you think otherwise.” jean replied, clearing her throat. “as i said before, a lot of people are concerned about you and i want to make sure if you’re... alright?” 

your eyes widens in surprise. “huh?”

“are you alright?” jean asks again. 

“i..” you look down at the ground, unsure what to answer. “why are you doing this?” you ask. 

“i just want to check on my dear friend,” she respond, placing a hand on your shoulder. “i’m sorry that i’ve been too busy lately to notice whatever it is that you’re going through but as the acting grandmaster and your best friend, i want to make sure that you’re not having a hard tim-”

suddenly you started crying, causing jean to stop talking in surprise.

“can i... can i hug you?” you ask. 

just seeing you start crying after keeping everything ot yourself for a long time made her heart ache. jean’s eyes softens and immediately nods in response, causing you to immediately wrap your arms around her in tears. 

“i’m not okay,” you said. “i just... i just want someone to talk to but i can’t help but think that no one would take it so seriously. i’m scared that they think that i’m just-” you couldn’t finish your venting, feeling overwhelmed. 

she slowly hugs you back and rub your back comfortingly. “i’m sorry that you’re going through something like this,” she says as you cry on her shoulder. “you can always talk to me, okay? i’m here for you- everyone you care for is here for you.” 

jean stood as you break down in front of her, trying to breath properly. “i can’t promise you that everything will be okay but whatever happens, just know that i’m here with you in every step of the way.” 

“thank you, jean...” you said.

“anything for a friend, y/n.” jean said, looking at you sincerely. “if you want; you, me, and maybe the others can hang out once we’re done with our duties tomorrow. i’m sure the knights wouldn’t mind having a break from all the hard work we have done.” 

“...i would like that.” 

[girl-by-the-lake]

Pls don't get me started on Souya plsolOlzpls

You… You want an angry rant about… Angry?

I don't know if this makes sense and I got a little lost, but I'm a bit lightheaded and sooo this is... what it is. *shrug* good fucking luck making sense of anything.

*Image all of this is in all caps. It’d be a bit much if it was actually written in all caps… but I’m screaming in my head. :)*

MY LITTLE BOY BLUE NEEDS MORE LOVE, GOT IT?!, AND HERE’S WHY! >:(

Souya canonically carries around bandaids/plasters, which shows he’s thoughtful towards others in wanting to look after them when they’re hurt. It also shows that he can plan ahead, and fuck yeah we stan a bitch that has the braincells to not only respond to the current moments, but to think and plan ahead for future troubles! Souya’s better at that than even the one who can literally *go to the future and sometimes see the future*, so what the fuck is *his* excuse for not saving his friends?!

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS SO FUCKING AWESOME AND NOT LOOKED AT ENOUGH?! SOUYA CAN COOK! Maybe this steals my heart more because I can’t cook for SHIT, but man’s is good enough at cooking and whipping up the best goddamn ramen to own his ramen shop at 20 something with Nahoya. LIKE WHAT?! A ramen shop?! In Japan!? Do you know how competitive that market is?! I sure as fuck don’t, but I know there were a shit ton of them when I was in Tokyo! So he is good enough at what he does, that he is able to thrive along with his business! Souya has brains, beauty, AND he can cook! How is everyone’s heart not stolen?!

Now, I know Souya’s kind of quiet and is nicknamed “Angry” for a reason but, haven’t you seen his smiling panels?! When he does smile, it’s the most rewarding and precious thing ever! How can you not want to wrap him up in your arms or in a blanket and just cuddle?

Meanwhile, you got this zebra looking ass, acting like he’s sooo cool sucking on a lollipop. Souya is so cool, his hair turned *blue*. (Ever heard the phrase ~cool blue~ anyone?).

Not to mention some other brothers who supposedly ~control Roppongi~. Souya took them down, no problem, and he only cried a little. Me writing these few sentences down is longer than their fight lasted, so that’s all the thought I care to waste about them.

But you know what’s even BETTER about Souya?! (and istg, if I jinx this… you won’t hear from me ever again… aka a week+, idk, imma disappear) - HE’S ALIVE (in the Tok Rev universe), BITCHES! So you can take your Baji’s, your Draken’s, your Shinichiro’s, Izana’s, Emma's, and go, because as of right now, at least Souya has a future and is still alive enough to get… well… angry. ;) (please oh please, don’t let this be a jix :’( ) 

Just by being Souya, he helps break apart and challenge some of the most damaging parts of toxic masculinity by his ability to be emotional and strong at the same time, taking on that more “feminine” role of caring for others by patching them up and by being a damn good cook.  

But what gets me even more upset, even more than ~hE’s UnDeRrAtEd~... I just want to see Souya in the Souya tags! Why is trying to find him in his own damn tags just as hard as me trying to find a life purpose?!  And I’m upset because I want all the cute content for him, but it’s limited which means *I* have to write it, and that’s not nearly as fun or as well written as when someone else does it! AND I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF I’M THE WRITER OF ALL THE CUTE HEADCANONS! HE’S FANTASTIC, PLEASE GIVE ME MORE CONTENT I’M FUCKING PARCHED!

TLDR: GIVE SOUYA MORE LOVE GODDAMNIT! HE ALREADY HAS TO SHARE EVERYTHING BY BEING A TWIN SO STOP MAKING HIM SHARE HIS DAMN TAGS TOO! STOP PUTTING MIKEY, THE HAITANIS, SANZU, DRAKEN, AND EVERYONE ELSE THAT ISN’T SOUYA IN THE SOUYA TAGS IF HE’S NOT MENTIONED IN THE POST! IT MAKES ME VERY… ANGRY!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 

Stand Alones 

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 

Breaking News 

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 

Gossip 

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[suchalonelysunflower]

Wedding Bells (l.h)

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x Fem!Reader

Summary: The happiest day of your life is the worst day on Luke’s life. Could there still be a happy ending if he’s not too late?

Warnings: angsty. Language and mentions of alcohol. Slander on the name Phillip (sorry to all the Phills but it’s true, look it up) Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 4.9 k

Author’s note: let me guide you through my thought process: I was writing You Said Forever and accidentally got caught up on the Olivia x Joshua x sabrina drama, that lead me to the Miley x Nick x Selena drama, which lead me to the song Wedding Bells by Nick Jonas. So this is loosely based on that. Remember that Reblogs, Comments, Feedback and Likes are very important and welcomed, you don’t know how much it helps and I love to hear from you guys ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

His head was pounding, loudly.

Every beat sounded like an echo that ran through his whole body. Speaking of his body, goddamn how it hurt, how everything hurts.

His eyelids were closed, eyelashes stuck and tangled with each other, heavy as the sun shined through the window, begging him to get up. His mouth was also dry, he couldn’t figure out if it was because he slept with his mouth open or because he doesn’t remember the last time he drank a drop of water.

He groaned as the pounding in his head continued. A never-ending pain that matched the loud banging on the door.

“Luke! C’mon, we’re going to be late!”

Ashton's voice sounded far away as his mind was not fully awake yet. He didn’t want to be awake yet, maybe not ever again after this day.

If his eyes were awake he would roll them. Couldn’t Ashton understand that he didn’t want to go? He made it fairly obvious for the past few months! He was not going.

Luke hid his head farther in his pillow, trying to avoid any kind of contact with the outside world. But that was almost impossible as soon as he heard Ashton pick on his lock.

That bastard.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to mess with a bloke from the outsides of town?” He said with a teasing tone. Luke knew he was bluffing, his doorknob was messed up since the moment they bought the house, so it was easy to get in if you knew the right tricks with a safety pin - oh the irony of it all.

Luke mumbled something close to a word his mum wouldn’t be proud to hear. But Ashton simply ignored it as he walked towards the windows to open the curtains, letting the sun illuminate the room at its full capacity.

Ashton sighed at the sight of the room. Clothes were thrown out everywhere, the same goes with the hundred liquor and beer bottles and cans that were scattered around the floor. He grabbed the half-empty bottle of vodka that rested on the nightstand and clicked his tongue.

“You bought this yesterday,” He said, totally unimpressed. Luke didn’t answer “C’mon, buddy, up to the shower you go”

Ashton patted Luke’s back, encouraging him to get a move on, but the blonde just brought his sheets over his head and stayed put.

“Luke…”

“Mmnphf” He mumbled.

“What?” Ashton walked to the foot of the bed and grabbed the tall Australian by his legs, pulling him out of his comforter in one swift move that made Luke fall out of the bed with a thud.

“Motherfuck-“ He complained, rubbing on his bumped head, which was still pounding by the way.

“You were saying?” Ashton said with a smirk as he crouched down to be face to face with Luke, the teasing smile quickly fading away because he didn’t like what he saw at all.

The baby blue eyes that once shined with gleam were dull, red, and empty, and probably angry about his interruption. His curly blond was sticking to his forehead and his body language seemed to have given up on keeping him with a straight figure, making him physically close himself up to others.

“I said I’m not going!” His voice was hoarse due to the heavy drinking he’s been doing these past few days. He tried to sound harsh, but Ashton could easily see through his bluff. He was hurting, every part of him.

“Of course you are,” Ashton scoffed.

Luke glared at him “I’m. Not. Going” He said through gritted teeth. The drummer rolled his eyes. He’s had this conversation before and it was always the same speech.

“You are because she wants you there, so you’ll be there” Ashton stated as if that was the only reasonable answer.

Luke closed his eyes, cause he was sure that if he opened them he would punch Ashton in the mouth. Why couldn’t he understand? “I can’t go, Ash”

His voice broke at the end of the pleading, breaking Ashton’s heart in the process. He hated to see him like that; to see him throw away his life so carelessly without asking for or accepting anyone’s help. It’s not like he ignored what was happening, but he was sure this would do good for him; close cycles, help him move on, and that shit. How else could you mend a broken heart?

“And besides,” Luke continued “She doesn’t want me there” The words felt like poison in his mouth, bitter and dry “She invited you guys, you are her friends and I’m just her stupid ex”

That was a lie and he knew that. When the invitations came he made sure to throw his away before he even got to open it. Making the others believe that he wasn’t invited at all. He didn’t even tell them that you were the one who dropped them, him being unlucky enough to answer the door.

“It’s in June,” You said, eyes avoiding him “Hope you can make it”

Whatever words Luke had stuck in his throat stayed there as he swallowed the pain of seeing you standing there, inviting him to see you love someone else. All he could say was “You’ll look beautiful in white”

You practically ran away after that, leaving him alone with the invitations. Just looking at those envelopes hurt more than he could imagine. He knew this day would come eventually, he hoped he would. He just hoped that his name was engraved on paper next to yours.

“Maybe,” Said Ashton with a grin “But if she didn’t want you there then why did she ask me to RSVP for you?” Luke’s eyes widened like plates, he knew Ashton had called his bluff once again “She said you never answer yours so I did it for you. Cause she wants you there, Luke. You were her best friend, too”

Luke groaned and covered his face with his hand “Why did you do that?!” He asked with an exasperated tone, wanting to hate on the drummer but knowing that that was impossible.

“Because you need to go, mate! You can’t leave her hanging like this!”

“And what am I supposed to say?!” He yelled, he was not used to yelling but he was at the ends of his wits ``‘Oh, hey Y/N! A beautiful day isn’t it? Perfect weather to break my heart into a million pieces while you marry another guy and I’m sitting there watching, wishing I was him! I’m happy for you, though I’m really not cause I know it’s been like what? 3 years 5 months and 24 days since we broke up? but I’m still in love with you. Okay have fun?!”’

He grabbed an empty can from the floor and threw it away, hitting the door of his closet. He was beyond furious and frustrated. You were getting married and he can’t do anything to stop it; to stop you.

Ashton sighed, heartbroken by this whole ordeal “You’ve been counting?”

“Ever since that day. It was my greatest mistake and now I’m suffering from it. Karma really is a bitch. Did you know our anniversary is supposed to be in 5 days? And now it’s impossible to ever get her back”

The drummer placed a hand on Luke's shoulder, he wished he could make his pain go away. He’s never seen his friend so heartbroken before and it pained him knowing that there was nothing he could do about it.

“Luke,” He said in a fatherly tone “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. But believe when I tell you she wants you there, she misses you” Luke turned his head towards Ashton, his eyes begging him not to lie “I’m serious, she’s always asking about you but she’s too scared to talk to you thinking that you don’t want to speak to her. She needs you there, man. Not as a bitter ex and to show you she’s moved on, but as a friend. And I know for a fact you can’t say not to her, even when you’re mad”

Luke sighed. Ashton was right. He could never deny you anything, even before you were together and you were just his best friend, you were always his weakness.

He misses you too, every day since you broke up he’s been missing you. And he would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see you at least one last time, given that your last interaction was awkward as hell.

“I can’t go, Ash”

Ashton nodded with a disappointing sigh as he got up from the floor, but before he could walk out the door he heard Luke say “I can’t go because I don’t have a suit!”

Ashton smiled “I got you covered, buddy” And left the room so Luke could take a shower.

*

Ashton’s suit was itchy, but Luke was grateful that he didn’t have to show up in jeans and an old BonJovi shirt.

He was surprised to find out that they were actually on time, although he wouldn’t be surprised if someone told him that Ashton woke him up much earlier than needed to get there on time.

They met with Michael and Calum in the parking lot, they greeted each other and started talking as if Luke’s heart wasn’t about to burst from the anxiety he was feeling.

To show up at a wedding is something; to show up at your ex’s aka the love of your life’s wedding is… unsettling. He understood why his friends didn’t want to make it awkward for him, yet the awkwardness settled at the moment he stepped foot out of the car.

“She’s getting married in a church?” He asked no one in particular.

“Yeah? That’s why we are here, mate” Calum chuckled.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. You never wanted to get married in a church or even a chappel. No, if he remembers correctly, your dream wedding was somewhere outdoors; either a park or a forest or even someone’s backyard. You used to say that love was the most beautiful and natural thing in the universe, so it was logical to celebrate something as powerful as a wedding in the eyes of nature, so it all came to be one for love and love can be one for all.

He remembers he laughed at that, not to mock you in any way, but in awe of how beautiful you put it. Everything you said sounded like poetry to him, even if you were just reading a menu in a Chinese restaurant. But now your poetry would belong to someone else, and he only hoped that that someone deserves to hear it.

He doesn’t know the groom, he believes his name was Phill? Or something like that? Ashton always said he was kind of a jerk, but you loved him enough to marry him so maybe he wasn’t that bad. But for Luke he would always be the man that stole you from him.

All three of his friends started walking inside the rustic church and Luke followed, incapable to think about anything else that wasn’t you at that moment.

However, the minute he entered the cold building he knew something was wrong.

The church was filled with people he didn’t know, he assumed they must be from the groom’s side of the family, but he would bet the 35$ Ashton left in his pocket that you didn’t know half of these people either.

You never wanted a big wedding, hell, you didn’t even want a big birthday party, no matter how much Luke insisted on it.

“Those kinds of parties are not for the ones being celebrated!” You told him once “If it was truly important then all you need is your closest friends and your found family. What else is there to love?”

Your words kept repeating themselves inside Luke’s head. What else is there to love? Indeed.

That wasn’t the only thing catching his attention though. With every step he took towards his seat he found out more things out of place, out of you.

For example, the color scheme was terrible and he knows you didn’t pick it, your favorite colors were nowhere to be seen. Then it was the flowers, if there is one thing he never forgot about you were your favorite flowers. You used to fill the house with them saying that they were your little serotonin boosters, he remembers how happy they made you and how one time he nearly bought all the flowers in the shop to surprise you when you were having a bad day. Now he cannot even look at them without thinking of you.

The more steps he took the more flawed this wedding looked. And yes, he knows that sounds bad, especially coming from him. But it was the truth. Not even the music sounded like it would come from you.

The words ‘This is not right’ Kept screaming at the back of his head.

The Y/N he knew would never choose those flowers or those colors or that guest list or that venue, nor the song that was playing over the speakers. She preferred live music over all the rest and, if she would’ve asked, she’d known that all four of them would perform for free on the happiest day of her life, even if it was the crappiest day for him.

If someone were to tell him a year ago that this is how your wedding would look, he would’ve laughed cause this is not like you. This wedding, this… charade of glamour and show.. this wasn’t you. This wasn’t Y/N. And it's supposed to be your day!

He couldn’t understand why you’d choose this? This was so unlike you, unless… unless he never really knew you at all.

And just like that, the sinking feeling of dread came upon him as he tried to figure out who was the person he knew and who are you now? What changed so much to make you lose all that you once were?

What if?

What if he knew how to love you better? He wouldn’t have let you walk away from him. He would’ve fought for you, for the two of you, instead of just giving up like he did.

Luke knew he loved you. Fuck, he still loves you like the first day. And now you are loving somebody else cause he didn’t know how to keep the most beautiful thing he ever had; the most beautiful thing he let die. He messed up, but his biggest fuck up was realizing it and doing nothing about it.

And now it was too late.

“Dude, are you okay?” Michael whispered when he noticed his friend's frown.

Luke nodded, lips pressed together in a thin line “What were you saying?”

Michael smiled with mischief “We were just laughing at how ridiculous Phillip looks. That suit does not suit him at all”

For the first time since he came, he looked over at the altar. Standing there was the so-called Phill you were going to marry. He was talking to his groomsmen and laughing obnoxiously at what seemed like an inappropriate joke. What did you see on that guy?

“Did you know the name Phillip means horse lover?” Said Calum, trying to stiff a laugh with the other two friends.

They were doing their best to keep Luke distracted and he appreciated that. But seeing the groom so unpreoccupied, so chill and uninterested made his blood boil. How could he be so at ease? If it were him, if he had the wonderful chance to marry you, he’d be a ball of anxiety. He’d be wondering just how beautiful you’d look, if you were feeling as nervous as he was, if you were as happy as he was and how he couldn’t wait to marry you… He would do all that because he will know that he is the luckiest man on earth. But that’s not his truth at all.

“I’m going to take a walk”

Neither of them told him that the ceremony was about to start or offered to accompany him. They knew he needed time and they wouldn't pressure him at all. Luke silently thanked them for that.

He walked out of the ceremony hall and started pacing around the halls, quickly getting lost as he tried to ease his mind.

How could he go through this and pretend that he’s okay? He remembered Ashton’s words from this morning and knew that if you wanted him here then he would be here, but that still didn’t make it any easier.

He would go through the ends of the earth for you if you asked him to, but this? This might be the hardest thing he has ever done, second only to let you go.

His curls were getting messy because of all the ruffling he did with his hands. He needed to pull himself together before the ceremony, he needed to seem okay in front of you. He-

The soft cries coming from behind the door caught his attention. They were hushed but they seemed completely broken. Whoever was behind that door must feel just as hopeless as he did.

“Hello?” He said, knocking on the wooden door “Hello, are you okay in there?”

The sniffing sounds stopped “Luke?”

It was quiet, almost like a whisper. But Luke would recognize your voice anywhere, especially after not hearing you say his name for 3 years.

“Y/N?”

The door opened with a click and revealed a supply closet and, inside that supply closet, there was a bride. There you were.

Luke’s breath almost disappeared as you knocked the wind out of his lungs. You looked beautiful. Stunning in your white dress. Magical as your hair was perfectly styled. Breathtaking with your waterproof makeup still intact, although you would look breathtaking without it as well. Ethereal as you looked at him and he realized that all the times that he missed you seemed small at how much he missed you now and how he would miss you all his life.

If there were any other adjectives to describe how you looked, he would take them all out of the dictionary and give them to you in the form of a song. Cause in his eyes there was no other beauty that could compare, that even the sadness in your eyes seemed to compliment your magnificent. And that was something he couldn’t ignore.

Without thinking it twice he took a couple of steps in front of you and cupped your face in his hands, wiping your tears with his thumb as he murmured: “What’s wrong, love?”

Hearing his voice so worried and soft shook something in you, something that you didn’t know you still had but at the same time knew that it would never go away.

More tears started streaming down your eyes as your gaze met his, making you get lost in those baby blue marbles.

“I- I don’t know what I’m doing, Lukey” You confessed in a whisper.

At the sound of his nickname, Luke felt like he could float away in a cloud of happiness. He thought you’ve forgotten. But the look on your face denoted a fear he hoped he’d never got to see again.

Your eyes were puffy red and your cheeks were flushed, not only because of the blush. And your eyes, they were terrified and Luke didn’t know what to do, so he just said.

“You’re getting married today” You didn’t miss the hint of sadness that laced those words. You hoped that could mean something.

You placed your hands on his wrist, holding his hands that were cupping your face and making them stay there. Right now it was the only comfort you got.

“I don’t know if I should-“ You choke out a sob “Luke, I’m scared- I’m so scared”

“Do you love him?” The words pained him, cutting right through his heart. But you and him were here for a reason, and that reason was waiting at the altar.

He secretly prayed that you would say no, that you would beg him to take you away and run away together, maybe elope somewhere far away and not come back to this place ever again.

He saw the hesitation in your eyes and he knew his answer.

“Y/N, I love-“

“There you are!”

Luke closed his eyes in annoyance when he felt his words get stuck in his throat as the stranger’s voice came closer to them. You quickly pulled away from him and that only made his heart break more than it already was.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Said one of the bridesmaids Luke has never seen before, he assumed that it was from the side of the groom as well, just like everything else “The ceremony is about to start, we need to go now!”

She quickly grabbed you by the wrist and practically draged you to the ceremony hall.

You were desperate. Your pleading eyes searched for Luke, begging for him to do something. But what could he do now? His shocking state left him standing right there with his eyes glued to your figure being dragged away somewhere he didn’t know you wanted to be. It all happened so fast that the only thing he could think of was that this might be the last chance he’s got to see you and all he could do was stare into your pretty eyes cloud with fear and tears.

‘Here comes the bride’ started playing through the speakers of the church and Luke clenched his fists to his side. You hated this song.

He went back to his seat minutes after the ceremony started. His three best friends were looking at him with curiosity and a thousand questions in their minds. They knew the minute that they saw you come in that those tears were not of happiness and, judging by Luke’s hard, emotionless face, he had something to do with it.

Throughout the whole ceremony, Luke couldn’t stop staring at you. It was eating him inside the fact that he knew you didn’t want this and yet you were still going through it. He couldn’t understand why. He is losing you right before his eyes and he couldn’t take that.

He knew that the moment you say ‘I do’ would be the moment his soul would die forever.

“Luke?”

He knew something was wrong. He knew it the moment he parked the car in a freaking church and your eyes filled with tears just confirmed it to him.

“Luke, are you okay?” Michael whispered once again, concerned about the white knuckles on his best friend’s fists.

He loves you. He loves you so fucking much and he can’t let you do this.

He won’t let you do this.

“If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace"

“Fuck it,” Luke said before standing up.

In one second, all eyes were on him. He could feel the stares of strangers, the judgy whispers of the families, and even the shit-eating grins from his best friends sitting beside him. But all his attention was on you. On you and your relieved face.

“I object to this union,” He said in a firm voice that overshadowed the murmurs, leaving everyone completely quiet.

He could see your eyes clouding with tears and the way your lips seemed to be saying his name in one breath. That was all he needed to keep going.

Luke took a few steps to the side, walking until he ended up in the middle of the aisle, looking at you and only you.

“Y/N, I love you,” He said, earning a few gasps from the public “I love you since the day I met you, the day I first asked you to be mine, and even on the day I lost you. I was an idiot who didn’t know how to take care of the magic we created and decided that it was best to let it go before it went out of hand. But you, you always believed in magic; you always believed in me and, Y/N that’s why I’m here telling you that I am still in love with you. And that you are making a big mistake here, just like I did when I lost you. But we are still on time to make everything right.

This, however, is not right and you know it. Where are you in all of this? Do they know your favorite flowers or that your favorite song includes a swear word? Do they know the way you take your coffee or your favorite colors? Do they know how much you love to dance, especially when no one is watching?

I know you, baby. I know you enough to say with certainty that this is not what you wanted. I know how much you love rain and how you wish time would stop every time you take a shower so it could last longer. I know that you cry during every movie, even if they have a happy ending because you always believed in them. I know you never want to break someone’s heart so you are willing to take the hurt as long as the other person is okay. I know that my biggest regret is losing you, cause you are the only thing I got right in my life.

You are life, fire, spark, patience, and love. You are the kindest person on earth and you deserve so much more than this world could give. No one deserves you, darling but I would spend the rest of my days trying to.

I’m in love with you Y/N L/N. Please, don’t- don’t marry him”

Luke’s eyes were watery as he swallowed down a sob on the last part of his speech. His eyes never left yours for a second as his body visibly shook with anxiety and fear, waiting for your answer.

You, on the other hand, were smiling through the tears “I love you too, Luke” You said loud enough for all to hear, and Luke felt like he could breathe again, a smile growing wide as he let a few tears roll down his eyes.

You ran down the aisle to his arms, fully sinking into them as you wrapped your arms around his waist. Luke’s chuckle reverberated through his chest as he picked you up and spun you around in your wedding dress, finally putting you down and looking right into your eyes, now clouded with happy tears.

“I told you you were going to look beautiful in white”

He kissed you with all the love he had in his heart. It was honest, pure, and filled with happiness as the two lovers finally reunite, making the entire church erupted in cheers.

The groom, however, didn't share that excitement. He was fuming red as he started walking towards Luke with his groomsmen, calling you derogatory names as he was ready to start a fight.

“Oh, fuck no” Said Calum, walking down to the middle of the aisle along side Ashton and Michael, creating a safe distance between the two of you and the fight that was about to start. Phillip was not happy, but before he could give the first punch Calum’s fist was already on his face, making him tumble back with a bloody nose “Take that horse lover!”

All hell broke loose in the middle of church as punches were thrown carelessly. The three Australians seemed to be winning the fight with ease, beating the asses of your now ex-fiancé and his friends.

The public was too distracted by the fight to notice how you walked away from the aisle as you cheered on your friends to kick their kneecaps. Luke took your hand and pulled you towards him, still laughing as he began tugging on it for you to follow, and so you did.

You ran as fast as you could, leaving everyone behind without a second thought. The only thing in your mind being the love you had for each other and how you won’t take it for granted this time.

“I love you,” He said as you reached the car, placing his hands at the side of your waist and leaning in for a kiss filled with adrenaline “I fucking love you, Y/N”

You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him back with all the love you kept from him during all these years “I love you too, Luke. We are meant for forever”

“Forever and beyond”

It was a crazy sight from every point of view. The man with the messy hair and the girl in a wedding dress kissing in the middle of a church parking lot while the guests all peered from the entrance of the building, four of them bleeding through their nose with tears in their black eyes, and three of them with their clothes all messed up and sweaty, smiling triumphantly as they watched their friends live their love again.

With one last kiss, Luke helped you get inside the car and he quickly got to the other side, starting the engine just in time to hear the bells chime. Marking the start of your real happily ever after with the love of your life.

.

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @sarcasticallywitty15 @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @myloverboyash

[tedturneriscrazy]

🎶Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door🎵

I wonder if anything will happen in this episode.🙂

(I say as if I didn't watch the episode twice before going to bed and writing this post)

I don't think I'll ever not be amused by the way Hooty just...does things with his face

Seems like he found a thesaurus at some point

Okay so it's canonically spelled "Hootsifer," good to know

Also, this is really all we get of Lilith, huh?

His little hoot/coo at Lilith's letter❤❤❤

To borrow a meme format: If I had a nickel for every time Alex Hirsch was involved in a show where one of the characters was experiencing pubescent voice cracks, I'd have two nickels, which isn't very much but it's weird that it happened twice

Eda's face🤣

As much as this bit is played for laughs, Eda's clearly still shaken by what happened last episode

Jeez, Luz, priorities /j

Pictured: Hooty

The way King talks about being pelleted implies this is something Hooty does on the regular

Hooty's plan to help King is literally a Buzzfeed quiz? Okay then

Betcha never expected lore from Hooty, eh?

"DO NOT INTERRUPT"

Officially a "type of worm"

The dance being a grievous insult wasn't exactly from nowhere, but still funny nonetheless

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING COCCOON

Tiny Nose playing Switch definitely seems to be drawing from Dana's real life experiences

Wait, Hooty and Tiny Nose are friends?

Well shit, turns out she could use magic this whole time. Guess her going Super Saiyan wasn't just the power glyph.

I am extremely skeptical of your medical credentials, TN

I have so many questions about the methodology they used for the blood test(s)

I think Hooty may have misinterpreted what King was looking for

I'm still amazed at how King has had, and continues to have, moments in the show with some of the greatest emotional weight

Ooh, sound powers!

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRUMBLE!!!"

It just occurred to me that that segment consisted mostly of Alex Hirsch talking to himself

Hello not-at-all obvious setup

Today I learned that Hooty is the baker of the house. Maybe he'd critique Amity's fairy pie.

Aaaaand there's the sleep inducing

Oh shit

In hindsight the Owl Beast being part of a dream sequence is rather obvious

Wow, Eda, tell us how you really feel about the Owl Beast

Oh we're just gonna ride aboard the Trauma Express today, huh?

Oh, I guess Lilith did make an appearance, after all

Damn, Gwen, not even looking

Oh shit dad issues

Sandy Cohen?! (To anyone who gets that reference, hi. How are your 30s treating you?)

Well, I know who Peter Gallagher voices now, anyway

Oh dear...

(Also, bright flashing lights triggering the curse? There's an epilepsy allegory in here somwhere)

Blood and eye injury? Gotta stretch that Y7 rating

Now we have some context for that look on Eda's face when Lilith mentioned their dad: good old fashioned guilt!

I desparately want to make a "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" joke, but I'm better than that

New memory! Raine!

Oh no...

I get the feeling I'll hate this part, too

They were exes!😢 Guess the fandom called that one

The reasoning for them being exes is understandable, all too real, and goddamn heartbreaking

That said, the fact they never stopped loving each other🥺😢😭

I do hope we can see Raine again under less...traumatic circumstances. Maybe that wedding that was mentioned?

Oh shit, are we getting into the Owl Beast's memories?!?! What a tweest!

Bet nobody expected Cloaked Moonface to show up in the frickin Hooty episode

(Also, holy shit I briefly forgot this was the Hooty episode)

Who is this mysterious cloaked figure? And why are they so tall and long?

So the curse was a sealed beast this whole time. Damn.

And it was just picked up as beach junk to sell as a trinket. So much for it being connected to Belos. (Not that people will stop trying to do so)

Who had "experiencing sympathy for the Owl Beast" on their Bingo cards for this episode? Yeah, me neither.

And here we have the necessary Eda coming to terms with her curse segment. More accurately, Eda and the curse coming to terms with each other.

Goddamnit why does it have to be cute

"It's like sandpaper" IT'S LIKE A CAT I FUCKING CAN'T

Insert Steamed Hams reference here to kill the mood

New transformation!

Oh no she's hot!

No, Hooty, you made it surprisingly much, much better!

She might have a problem pushing people away and holding onto guilt, but Eda always knows that she looks damn good

Oh right, Luz having girl problems. Fuck, so much is happening in this episode!

"Cotton-candy-haired Goddess" LUZ! 🤣

Attuned to other people's emotions = being a fucking creeper

Oh Luz, what happened to you back home?

Also, 99.999% certain Amity would love your cheesiness

That's...rather morbid, Hooty

So much lore development, including the fact the Owl House has a basement

Classic inanimate object silhouette fakeout gag. Subversion in 3...2...1...

There it is!

I can't imagine being pelleted is a fun experience.

Honestly I have so many questions about how Hooty got Amity there in the first place, but I'm not so sure I actually want to know the answers to any of them...

Cue much panicking

Wow, I'm really getting some Into the Bunker flashbacks

Oh this is gonna be amazing isn't it

I commend Luz for not actually dropping dead of embarrassment

Seriously, how can Hooty set all this up so fast yet not hold a pen?!?!?!

Poor Luz, she thinks this is destroying her chances

Meanwhile Amity is just "Oh, Titan, is this actually happening?!"

The way she's fixing her hair!❤

Goddamnit Luz let this play out, she's so clearly into this!

"Again?!" Okay who do I have to kill?

Luz is luzing it

Nooooooo....

JUST TALK FOR FUCK'S SAKE (aka how like 95% of issues in literally any plot could be solved)

Noooo Amity's so heartbroken right now💔

This isn't what either of them wanted!

To be fair, Hooty, Luz had a part in this too. Not that she can be blamed entirely. Poor thing clearly had some awful experiences back home...

Now Hooty is McFucking losing it

Why did I think he was gonna say "Looks like I'm gonna have to JUMP!" I think I've watched too much Homestar Runner (jk there's no such thing)

Those pulsating organs are still gross

Eda swooping in to save her son (No, really, he actually is now)

I'll say things get weird when Hooty gets upset!

Yes, King! Save them with your voice powers!

Damn that is some romantic lighting, and Luz is enjoying the eye candy (cotton candy, if you will)

Luz's reaction to Harpy!Eda is the family-friendly summation of how the fandom has reacted.

Hooty really just tearing up the landscape in remorse

Mother-daughter moment about love life!

I appreciate not just Eda's encouragement but her actually asking Luz what she wanted

God, Eda is best mom

Also, OH FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING?!

OH SHIT

THESE ADORABLY AWKWARD NERDS❤💜💙

"I'm not as cool as you think" could be interpreted as self-deprecating, but here it seems...oddly reassuring?

The way Luz eloquently says how she wants Amity in her future...beautiful❤

Luz making some good faces

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU CUTE DORKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

THERE IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS

WE WERE LOSING OUR SHIT OVER A PECK ON THE CHEEK THREE WEEKS AGO AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE HOLY FUCK

Awkwardness is still there, but that's to be expected

BET Y'ALL DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TRAILER SHOT TO BE IN THE HOOTY EPISODE HUH

THE WAY LUZ RUBS AMITY'S HAND😭😭😭😭😭

(And yeah, it's gonna still be scary, but only because it promises to be so wonderful)

Let's give it up for Hootsifer, goddamn!

Let'a also appreciate just how fucking funny it is that Lumity becomes official in the Hooty episode

Fus ro WEH!

Hooty actually saying "Luz's new GF" out loud...

In just about any other show the love interests getting together would be a climax/culmination of the entire plot. Here? It's actually used to advance the plot, and that is brilliant!

Dana Terrace and the crew really just knocking it out of the park again and again, huh

"They're adorable, and deserve all the happiness!" Well said, Hootsifer. Well said.

Probably for the best they had Hooty promise that. As much as what happened/progressed, there was a lot of property damage.

OH SHIT ONCE AGAIN

King's dad/relative! And he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson!

GODDAMNIT HOOTY

Wow. Just...wow. This episode.

King has voice powers! Harpy!Eda! Lumity are girlfriends for real!!!!

How do you pack so much into a single episode?! And so expertly?!

I had my suspicions before, but this confirms it: The Owl House is the greatest show of all time.

And we have two episodes left until the hiatus! And 11 episodes in the season after that! What are we in for?!?!?!

I, for one, can't wait to find out!

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Whump you say? Geralt gets Hanahaki

I’ve been waiting for you, Anon. I’ve been waiting for this prompt specifically and boy when I tell you I might have cried writing it...

2k ish (a little less) words long. Idk why y’all were worried, it’s me. It’s gonna have a happy ending.

tw: Hanahaki, blood mention, illness, angst with a happy ending, whump with a happy ending ---

It had started up just before they parted ways for the winter; Geralt had quietly coughed a handful of rose petals into the corner of his cloak and hidden them from sight as Jaskier gave him their yearly parting embrace. “See you in the spring, Geralt!”

“Hmm.”

You might not ever see me again, actually, the Witcher thought. He tried not to let anything show on his face; not his fear and certainly not his longing, but he ached to tell Jaskier that he loved him and that he’d miss the bard’s presence through the long and dreary cold of the winter months. Geralt also knew that if he told Jaskier the truth about his feelings that he may never set eyes on the bard again anyway, regardless of how the disease currently wracking his body developed over their time apart. He was sure that Vesemir could identify whatever the strange illness was; the old swordmaster might even have a cure ready to go in the old storeroom. If not, they could send for Triss. 

“Safe travels.”

“And you as well,” Geralt nodded curtly. He mounted Roach with all his usual grace and ease, biting back another cough and tasting the sickly sweet floral note of rose rising up his throat to coat his tongue again. 

---

“Fuck,” Vesemir sighed. “It’s Hanahaki disease, Geralt. It’s not going to be easy to cure now that the pass is full of snow.”

“What’s Hanahaki disease?”

“It’s-” the eldest Wolf Witcher scrubbed his hand over his bearded face and took a moment to compose himself. He’d seen it happen before. He’d seen human bodies buried in the ground with entire root systems crawling from their chest cavities. He’d watched young men and women alike cough entire violet or rose or daisy buds from their mouths while they shivered with fever and seemingly unending pain, but a Witcher? Vesemir hadn’t even thought it was possible for a Witcher to contract such a frivolously deadly illness. “I don’t know exactly how to explain this to you, Geralt.”

“I won’t go screaming into the hills, if that’s what you’re afraid of,” his middle-child joked, “I can’t run very far anymore without a coughing fit.”

“I can’t send for Triss or Yennefer, either. They won’t be able to do anything,” Vesemir spoke calmly and evenly. Geralt, propped against some pillows on adoptive-father-enforced bed rest raised an eyebrow. “It’s a disease that eats at you from the inside out. It latches on to, uhm, romantic feelings and grows with them until it overtakes its host completely. Or until the host, uh… confronts those feelings head on and admits them to the object of their affection.”

“So this is…” Geralt’s eyes were wide and terrified. The eldest Wolf had never seen the stoic boy look quite so scared before, and he’d seen him go through the Trials. “This is going to kill me, is what you’re saying.”

“Who are you in love with, you stubborn oaf!?” Lambert cried, marching into the room from where he’d been lurking in the hall. He startled the other two Wolves and Geralt coughed out another handful of petals. The blood that came with them was surprisingly new. 

“What do you mean!?”

“He means,” Vesemir said, as slowly as possible (so that even the great Geralt of Rivia would understand his situation), “That until you tell this person how you feel, the flowers inside you will continue to grow and dig their roots in and, if you never tell them how you feel at all, you will eventually die.”

“Then I guess my fate is sealed,” Geralt smiled sadly, settling himself back against the pillows. “My time as a Witcher is up. Coughing up flowers isn’t the worst way to go, all things considered.”

Lambert growled angrily. “I’m not ready to lose my brother yet, Geralt, so just tell us who you’re pining after and we’ll go fetch her back!”

“No.”

“Why the fuck not?!”

Geralt, growing increasingly more feverish and already exhausted from everything that had happened that afternoon, closed his eyes. “Because he deserves better than me, Lambert. He deserves so much more than I could ever give him and I’m not about to steal him away like a selfish ass and force my feelings onto him for my own sake. I’d rather die.”

“Self-sacrificing bastard,” the youngest of the Wolf Witchers snarled, storming from the room. “Ass! Cock! Fool!”

Vesemir could only nod his agreement and follow silently after.

---

Jaskier read the letter once.

Then he read it again.

After a third time through he was sure that he hadn’t misunderstood the contents.

Dear Jaskier (aka Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove, Prof. of the Seven Liberal Arts at Oxenfurt),

I am Eskel, brother to Geralt of the Wolf Witcher School at Kaer Morhen. I write to you now to ask for your presence at the keep. Geralt has fallen gravely ill and will not likely make it through the season. He does not know that I have written to you, but as his best friend and companion on the Path, I thought it my duty to invite you to see him one last time before he’s gone for good. He’s loathe to admit it, but he misses you and fears for your safety come springtime.

Sincerely,

Eskel of the Wolf School

Somewhere beneath the bright embroidery of his doublet and the hand-woven muslin of his chemise, Jaskier’s flighty, deeply-loving heart shattered into a million pieces. 

He grabbed his heaviest woolen cloak from its peg near the door and made for the stables at once.

---

“Geralt!”

The White Wolf opened his eyes a sliver to confirm that he wasn’t hallucinating again; ah yes. What a lovely last dream to have before I die. Standing in the middle of his bedroom at Kaer Morhen, covered with still-melting snow, was Jaskier. The bard’s blue eyes were brimming with tears and his bottom lip was wobbling violently as he gazed upon the Witcher’s withering form.

“Geralt, what’s wrong? Your father and brothers sort of explained it to me but I’m still not sure what’s happening. You’re dying?”

“Don’t worry, bard,” Geralt smiled. A loud, sudden cough wracked his body and he bent over double, spitting a blood-spattered but fully-bloomed rose out into his cupped palm. He laughed joylessly and tossed the bloom onto his bedside table. “I’ll be out of your hair, soon. Won’t this be a last ballad to write, a wolf dying as he’s eaten by flowers?”

“I don-”

“Hush,” Geralt rasped. Jaskier dropped his cloak to the ground uncaringly and rushed to his Witcher’s side. He sat on the edge of the mattress and took Geralt’s closest hand in his, grasping the appendage to his chest and sobbing into the sword-calloused skin like his tears might save his best friend’s life. “Don’t be sad, Jaskier.”

“I am sad, Geralt! I’m absolutely fucking terrified and heartbroken and crushed! Vesemir said you could heal this at any time but you just… you just won’t because you’re stubborn and an idiot and the sweetest goddamn man I’ve ever met in my life! How dare you tell me goodbye when you are perfectly capable of fixing this problem yourself! How could you promise to see me in the spring and then break your word by dying well before the grass turns green again?! You bastard!”

“You won’t miss me after another year passes,” Geralt reassured him, flexing the hand still held tight in Jaskier’s grip. “You won’t even remember me by the time the first daisies spring up.”

“How dare you,” the bard cried again. He pressed a nervous kiss to the tip of the Witcher’s pointer finger before letting go completely and dropping his head into his own hands. “How dare you say those things to me when you know full well that I love you with all my stupid, fragile mortal heart. You asshole.”

“Wh...what?” 

“I love you, Geralt!” The Witcher stared up at his friend with nothing but confusion written across his handsome features. Jaskier reached out, wiping a smear of blood away from the corner of Geralt’s mouth as tenderly as any maiden in any of the bard’s favorite romance novels. “I love you and I’ll never forgive you for letting yourself die on me like this.”

Geralt blushed. He stammered. He coughed up two or three more bloody roses and Jaskier tossed them all into the fire with rage blazing in his cornflower irises. 

“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything on this gods-forsaken Continent and now you’re going to take yourself away because you’re, what, scared of something? Is it Yennefer? If she’s refusing to help you then I’ll ride all the way to Vengerberg by daybreak and then I’ll break all her fucking fi-”

“I love you, too.”

“What?” Jaskier asked, stopped mid-rant and mid-thought by the Witcher’s sudden admission. “What did you just say to me, Geralt? If I didn’t misunderstand, you said you loved me too.”

“I did. I do! I have loved you for a rather long time, actually.”

“Well, I’m glad we’ve settled that,” Vesemir said from the doorway. He turned on his heel and disappeared. “See you both for breakfast tomorrow, I’m sure. Well... maybe breakfast is being a bit optimistic. I’ll see you for lunch.”

“What did he mean?” the bard asked. His eyes flitted between the empty doorway and Geralt’s guilty grimace. “What the fuck did Vesemir mean when he said he’d see us at lunch?! You’re still clearly dying and I-”

Geralt felt his fever receding and coughed experimentally. There were only a few brown, half-dried petals that fell from his lips. No blooms. He coughed again and nothing came out of his mouth at all. He grinned and laughed, tugging Jaskier up onto the bed and against his broad chest. “Vesemir was right!”

“What the fuck is going on?!” the bard begged. His hands twisted into the neckline of Geralt’s shirt, holding him still and steady. Blue bore into gold with such heated intensity that the Witcher thought he might pass out regardless of his recently healed disease, “What just happened!?”

“I- I told you I loved you and it cured the Hanahaki!”

“You had fucking Hanahaki and I was the cause of it? Oh Geralt, I’m so sorry! I should have noticed sooner! I should hav- Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“I didn’t think you loved me back.”

“You didn- Geralt, have you been paying any sort of attention for the past seven or so years? I follow you everywhere, I bandage your wounds, I put food on your plate and a pillow under your head whenever we get the chance. I bathe you and mend your clothes when your fingers are too stiff from practicing your forms to do it yourself… you utter fool. You buffoon. You great, dumb, goofy, idioti-”

He was cut off by Geralt bringing their mouths together with such gentle but insistent pressure that all Jaskier could do was melt against him. His hands unwound from the shirt and stabilized against the Witcher’s pectorals instead. He sighed into Geralt’s mouth, swallowing down the happy sounds his dearest Witcher made in return. When they were finished pouring out their affections they sat, breathless, curled against the pillows of Geralt’s enormous bed. 

A large pointer finger slipped beneath Jaskier’s chin and tilted his face up, locking their gazes, “This isn’t how I wanted you to meet my family or see Kaer Morhen for the first time, but I’m glad you came. I know the journey through the snow couldn’t have been easy, even though I’m sure there was some magical assistance.”

“For you, my love, I’d travel the pass barefoot.”

“You’d die of exposure.”

“Not if your life was on the line,” the bard murmured against those flower-chapped lips. “For you, Geralt, I could survive anything. Just as you must swear from this moment on to survive whatever you can to make it back to me.”

“Will you go back to the academy until spring?”

“I’m never leaving your side again, Geralt of Rivia. Come flora or fauna, you’re stuck with me for good.”

“Hmm. Good.”

“Just… Just don’t bring me flowers any time soon.”

[grimmywrites]

So, about Infinite Darkness...

I’m gonna try to be as succinct as I can (I failed) about all the problems I had with it, but my list is pretty long... Yes, this has spoilers. Let me state upfront: if you’re not a hardcore RE fan, you can skip the show. Below I’ll tell you why.

Story: What a mess. Honestly, they turned me off right at the beginning with all the military stuff. It’s the same reason people didn’t like Chris’ campaign in 6; didn’t they learn anything from that? So, the story wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever seen. Honestly, it had more plot holes than anything and so many points where I went: “I don’t care about this.” Again, it was a jumbled mess. Capcom, hire me and I’ll do better, I swear. Let’s just sum it up by saying it’s a rehash of things we’ve seen SEVERAL times in the series before. If you’re gonna do it AGAIN let’s make the story unique and interesting. Oh, there are shady people in the military that want to use bioweapons in war? Okay, we’ve known that since the first game. We’ve seen it time and time again. Look to re8′s ending for example: the BSAA are now starting to use engineered soldiers - THAT was a reveal that was far more interesting. The way it was addressed and overcome in this show was just... so lackluster. Ultimately, it just felt like this entire thing didn’t need to happen. It changed nothing, it impacted nothing, and I’m aware that it really couldn’t since it was after re4 and before re5. There was just no lasting point and all the ‘themes’ (if you can call them that) made absolutely no sense, but I guess I’ll get into that with the characters? Pacing: Absolutely god awful. One minute we’re in the White House fighting zombies then I blink and it’s over and I’m like: Oh, we’re done? Another we’re in a sub and then I blink. Oh, that’s over, too. Also, the creators must’ve taken a page from the last couple of seasons of Game of Thrones (which is an abysmal idea, don’t fucking do that) because with a few cuts here and there we went from Guam to China back to DC. Guess everybody learned how to teleport so they got exactly where we needed them to for the “climax”. Let’s talk about that climax: There was none. Let’s look at Degeneration and Damnation (no I won’t talk about Vendetta). Both had their weaknesses but Leon and the climaxes were BADASS. Leon doing parkour in Degeneration? Leon going against Lickers and the huge Tyrants in Damnation? Those were amazing scenes. He did a few cool things here and there but nothing that got more of a laugh out of me. My man is coming off re4 where he rampaged through a village, a castle, and an island of mutated creatures to save one girl. C’mon now. Characters: By now (if anybody is even reading this rant), you’ve noticed that I’ve talked a lot about Leon. But what about Claire? Yeah, they lied to us about them working together. She got sidelined again. A lot of people are upset about this -- and yeah, it sucks because I do love Claire. Leon has just happened to be my favorite since 1998 so I wasn’t as heartbroken. That doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed, I’m just not very surprised. Leon - My main problem with Leon is Nick, his voice actor. I’m so sorry for all those who like him, but he just isn’t good enough for me. Paul Mercier (re4, Degeneration, Darkside Chronicles) and Matt Mercer (Damnation, Re6, Vendetta) would have been more appropriate. Nick tries his best, but he’s just too soft sounding to be post-re4 Leon. This is a man who is quipping one-liners left and right a couple of years ago. Now he’s barely smiling and doesn’t feel confident at all, and I think a lot of that is because of his portrayal. There are times where the lines hit, but more often than not they fall flat. I never felt that way with Paul who is my favorite Leon or Matt who gave emotional performances every time. Also, his decision at the end? I can understand it, but explain to Claire! Claire - I like Stephanie as Claire, I have no problems with her. She makes her sound tough and ready to do what she thinks is right. Unfortunately, the story completely sidelines her and makes her role obsolete. Everything she uncovers (because that’s her role apparently, just there to Nancy Drew) is already told to us through flashbacks and other characters. Why even have her? Was it just to show us WHY her and Leon don’t talk often? A waste. Shen Mei - I don’t care. I felt nothing for her. They tried really hard, but they just failed to flesh these new characters out and when her time was up I once again went: Oh? That’s it, then. ‘Kay. I think I laughed a bit, sorry girl. Her whole plotline was to get that chip in Leon’s hand, nothing more. Jason -  I don’t care. A character I thought I felt sorry for with his ptsd but nope. Once his story unfolded - messily, I might add (I hate the REPEATED flashback shit. Tell me once and stop teasing me.) I just went... okay, what the hell is your plan? To spread fear? ‘Kay. It was dumb and made no sense. What, he wants everyone to feel terror so they know? It needed to be clarified. It’s like they couldn’t figure out more synonyms for fear and terror. So, what? It helps keep Leon from going public with the chip and that information? Because he knows it’ll just cause mass hysteria? And then you’ve got Claire’s side - she’s not an agent and she believes the people have a right to know. They’re both right, but there’s no goddamn communication between ANYONE in this show. I just felt exhausted by it, nothing else. Not to mention it’s useless angst because of the plot of Degeneration. Wilson - Our bad guy. Let’s just sum up really quickly in case people were confused by the plot: He was putting infected soldiers into war zones so that even after they died they’d kill anybody involved, then he’d bomb the area and clean up the evidence. These soldiers didn’t show any symptoms because they had inhibitors that kept the virus at bay until they died, so they had to take regular shots to stay human. He’s the one who gets the zombies into the white house so that he could blame it on China and get the US into a war with them. That way he could send in his soldiers and infect the populace. From there, he’s the only one with the cure so he could rake in LOTS of money selling it to the world. AKA: he wants to use the US military to infect everyone so he can make a profit. He gets infected by Jason and gets away... then meets up with someone who gives him an inhibitor. This someone is working for Tricell, the big bads of re5 who work under Wesker. So it leads right into the fifth game. That’s all he is, a tie in and yet another example of someone in power trying to profit off the viruses of the RE world. Honestly, nobody else is worth mentioning. Animation: They’re getting better at it. Leon and Claire looked especially pretty, but there’s still a stiffness here and an issue with everyone’s mouths while they talk. I want to praise how different SOME of the characters look - the president and his aides all look appropriately aged and grizzled and distinct. Same with Jason. Other characters (side characters mainly) kinda look generic. Shen Mei for example isn’t very distinct. I mean, her grandpa and brother (both one scene wonders) were more realistic looking than she was. Even Claire - they gave her a bigger nose and made her look more in line with her Revelations 2 model (thank god I love that model). Movement was pretty fluid, I wish we’d seen more fighting and cool action -- though not to the extent of Vendetta. Maybe that’s what they were trying to avoid, but it didn’t make it any fun to watch. Enemies: This is the last thing I’ll comment on. The zombies were fine - they always are. I heard a ton of reused sounds from remake2, as well, but I thought of it as an Easter Egg more than anything. They looked good, their gore was good, all set there. Problem was, they were basically the only bad guys. That’s a huge fucking disappointment. I know people recognize this series as ‘the one with the zombies’ but that’s not true. Every game (save 7) had MULTIPLE enemy types all created through bio engineering. In this show we see three types. THREE. Zombies. Zombie rats - a one-scene wonder that Leon dispatches fast and easy. I’ll admit, they looked cool but there was nothing else to them. “They’re a bioweapon” and then Leon fries them all with some electricity and we’re done. Jason’s mutated form. Okay, I have to admit, I really loved his design. He was cool, I liked that he could talk and emote. But, other than that? He didn’t DO anything cool. He mutated once and hopped around a lot. That’s it. I mean, a bioweapon that keeps his mental capacities? C’MON! We could’ve done so much more with him. Again, this goes back to why the climax was so bad -- he and Leon didn’t fight. One jumped, the other ran around to catch up and fired a few bullets and a rocket at him. Then he used an acid bath to finish the job. (Also, explain to me WHY he mutated into a tyrant-like creature while everyone else with that specific virus was another form of zombie? We see Jun (Shen’s brother) mutating almost crystal-like at one point but... what? You leave them off for a while and they turn into crystal zombies? Make it make sense.) I’m sure there’s more to say, but honestly, unless you’re a hardcore RE fan like me, I’d say you can skip it. It wasn’t a fun ride, there weren’t any stakes, it wasn’t emotional... it just... was. I will end on one good note that made me smile, though: I loved seeing the Ashley Easter Egg.

[elencelebrindal]

If I'm not mistaken you've now read/watched the three mxtx works and WoH. How would you rank them following personal preference? Which main couple did you like the most? Favorite plot twists in all four?

Yep, I did. I still have to read Faraway Wanderers though. Can't wait to.

This came out to be quite a long post, so I'll put it under the read more thingy.

Now, how would I rank them?

I'll have Tian Guan Ci Fu at the top, no doubts. It's my absolute favorite among all these four, and will probably remain my favorite even after I finally get to read the huge thing that's 2ha. It's the perfect balance of a story with no characters left unexplained (except for the minor ones and RIP Hua Cheng's backstory, why did mxtx rob us so much), of characters being unique all in different ways, and of a romance that, while being absolutely the main focus of the novel, is not overwhelming. For me, an aro/ace person, the romance written in TGCF is so good that it made even me stupidly happy. I don't get such big smiles on my face while reading my own romantic content.

This is the ONLY novel I've ever read that doesn't have a single character I hate in it. Only one, maybe two at most, that I dislike. That's it. Everyone's good. Everyone.

Then I'll definitely have Word of Honor. Just like TGCF, it's a really good balance between an interesting story (I was literally squirming in my seat while impatiently waiting for things to be revealed, enjoying every second of it) and a subtle romance that was still obvious enough to make me wonder what the hell happened with censorship in this drama. Not that I'm complaining though.

Almost all the characters are incredibly good. They have depth to them, all the main ones have either a satisfying backstory or a beautifully crafted development.

And this is it for the ranking. I wrote way more than I should have, but oh well.

After that, it's a tie between Mo Dao Zu Shi and Scum Villain. I don't want to favor one over the other, because I genuinely like them the same. Scum Villain is really underrated, and while I understand it somewhat, it's really unfair.

MDZS (and The Untamed) has a story that draws you to it, especially if you (like me) have an obsession with all things dark and spooky and terrifying like the demonic cultivation in this, like the whole mystery they have to solve with body parts leading them to the solution. The drama, as good as it was, really didn't do justice to the spook factor of using dismembered parts of a corpse to move around.

SVSSS is straight up weird, literally an isekai but make it Chinese. I think the best part of it is Shen Yuan panicking and cussing everyone out every time something happens around him, though... I really loved the story and the way it played out. I especially liked how the novel kept mentioning Proud Immortal Demon Way and compared the events of that book to the events that were happening in that book's world.

But why do I prefer Word of Honor to them? Well, it's simple. There's some aspects of the romance that don't resonate well with me.

WangXian is a beautiful couple, and they deserve all the happiness in the world (they have a canonic son!!!!!!!!), but Wei WuXian's initial obliviousness made me really uncomfortable at times. Not because he didn't know Lan WangJi was in love with him (the fool! thank goodness for Guanyin Temple), but because he kept teasing Lan WangJi about it while the latter was drunk. I mean, I get it. If you don't know, you don't realize what you're doing. But as a person that easily suffers from people making fun of me behind my back... it kinds struck a nerve. I still love them to pieces, though, they're so good together.

BingQiu, well... this is a rollercoaster of a couple. Again, I absolutely love them together, but some parts come off almost as scenes where consent is thrown to the wind. As a reader you know Shen QingQiu is willing and in love (gods, they married each other, I'd be a fool to say the opposite), but there should be a limit to how many times a willing person should say "No" in such a novel. This is mostly me being my aro/ace self, though. I don't really understand what goes on in the world of intimacy between people because I (literally) don't give a fuck, so I'm probably reading too much where there's too little. Don't take this as me not liking BingQiu, I'm in love with them and I desperately need more content.

Favorite plot twists, eh? Okay, big SPOILER ALERT from here onwards. And I mean it. BIG. SPOILER. ALERT.

Now, which main couple did I like the most?

Hualian. I don't even need to think about it. Bonus point because they're both out of their minds and the extras show it.

I said it before, and I'll say it again. I never have smiles so big and goofy in front of anything else, not even my own stuff. Hualian genuinely makes me happy.

Stop reading if you haven't finished all four of these, please.

...

Okay, here I go.

WoH:

Wen KeXing faking his death and telling basically everyone but Zhou ZiShu.

The villain being Zhao Jing; I was actually fooled and thought the main bastard of the series was Gao Chong.

Episode 35, and I'm not saying anything else. Although, as soon as that son of a bitch put his hands on Cao Weining's face like that, I genuinely knew what was going to happen.

The hairpin being the key for the armory. That was so stunning I had to pause the episode for a second and take a walk around the house.

MDZS:

Jin GuangYao being the villain. And being an amazing villain, on top of that.

Nie Huaisang. Fuck's sake, that man fooled the entire fandom just like that. I don't think many people realized he was the one behind everything.

The golden core transplant reveal. I'm sure that more experienced readers and viewers (aka people that had read/watched a ton more cultivation world stuff) had hints of it, but when I watched The Untamed I never read/watched anything remotely close to this genre. It hit me like a brick and I sat in front of the screen in shock.

SVSSS:

Shang QingHua being Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky. It's such a silly thing, but it made me pause for a good five minutes. I wasn't expecting it in the slightest.

The whole thing with the Old Palace Master. The man belongs to the dumpster he never got thrown into.

Tianlang-Jun not actually being the villain. Poor demon, he just wanted to continue with the questionable hobby of reading porn and daydreaming about Shen QingQiu's relationships.

I think I had another one, but it's late and I'm probably forgetting it.

TGCF:

Oh boy, where do I belong? Ah yes, the entirety of book 4. Took me out on the spot.

Jun Wu being Bai WuXiang completely blew me away. That was probably the biggest plot twist in the history of plot twists.

Also, Ling Wen knowing, and her being the creator of the Brocade Immortal.

Fu Yao and Nan Feng being Feng Xin and Mu Qing. For some reason, even if it's kinda obvious when you take a good look at them, it never clicked before being revealed.

On the same note, Ming Yi being He Xuan, and the Earth Master being actually dead. What a ride that arc has been for me.

One of the most important details, however... I got it myself. The ring Hua Cheng gives to Xie Lian. I see so many people saying that they didn't expect the ring to be his ashes, but I did something I generally can't stop myself from doing. I guessed something tremendously important by accident, something I do with many many books so I can ruin the experience for myself. I was literally sitting down, taking a break from reading (I devoured TGCF in 3 days, I needed that break lol), and all of a sudden this goddamn revelation descend upon me like the holy spirit, completely out of the blue. I just sat up, looked at the screen, and went "the ring is is fucking ashes, isn't it?", and completely ruined the surprise for myself.

And this is it.

If there's more I forgot (probably) I don't know. For now, this is my answer. Way too long, as always.