#alcohol addiction treatment medicine

[rakshaknashamuktikendra]

Quite alcohol addition with expert doctor

The addicts are given free alcohol addition treatment( https://rakshaknashamukti.org/ ) yoga therapy and counseling services to develop strong will power to resist the craving for drug abuse. Family counseling services by qualified psychiatrists are provided to the addicts to enable them to overcome their addiction. Addiction is an involuntary process. It may not be fair to associate a person's addictive behavior with his moral standards or character. The brain response to an addict changes in such a way that he continues to live with the bad habits and addictions in spite of understanding its dangerous implications.

[fatliberation]

they have a point though. you wouldn't need everyone to accommodate you if you just lost weight, but you're too lazy to stick to a healthy diet and exercise. it's that simple. I'd like to see you back up your claims, but you have no proof. you have got to stop lying to yourselves and face the facts

Must I go through this again? Fine. FINE. You guys are working my nerves today. You want to talk about facing the facts? Let's face the fucking facts.

In 2022, the US market cap of the weight loss industry was $75 billion [1, 3]. In 2021, the global market cap of the weight loss industry was estimated at $224.27 billion [2]. 

In 2020, the market shrunk by about 25%, but rebounded and then some since then [1, 3] By 2030, the global weight loss industry is expected to be valued at $405.4 billion [2]. If diets really worked, this industry would fall overnight. 

1. LaRosa, J. March 10, 2022. "U.S. Weight Loss Market Shrinks by 25% in 2020 with Pandemic, but Rebounds in 2021." Market Research Blog. 2. Staff. February 09, 2023. "[Latest] Global Weight Loss and Weight Management Market Size/Share Worth." Facts and Factors Research. 3. LaRosa, J. March 27, 2023. "U.S. Weight Loss Market Partially Recovers from the Pandemic." Market Research Blog.

Over 50 years of research conclusively demonstrates that virtually everyone who intentionally loses weight by manipulating their eating and exercise habits will regain the weight they lost within 3-5 years. And 75% will actually regain more weight than they lost [4].

4. Mann, T., Tomiyama, A.J., Westling, E., Lew, A.M., Samuels, B., Chatman, J. (2007). "Medicare’s Search For Effective Obesity Treatments: Diets Are Not The Answer." The American Psychologist, 62, 220-233. U.S. National Library of Medicine, Apr. 2007.

The annual odds of a fat person attaining a so-called “normal” weight and maintaining that for 5 years is approximately 1 in 1000 [5].

5. Fildes, A., Charlton, J., Rudisill, C., Littlejohns, P., Prevost, A.T., & Gulliford, M.C. (2015). “Probability of an Obese Person Attaining Normal Body Weight: Cohort Study Using Electronic Health Records.” American Journal of Public Health, July 16, 2015: e1–e6.

Doctors became so desperate that they resorted to amputating parts of the digestive tract (bariatric surgery) in the hopes that it might finally result in long-term weight-loss. Except that doesn’t work either. [6] And it turns out it causes death [7],  addiction [8], malnutrition [9], and suicide [7].

6. Magro, Daniéla Oliviera, et al. “Long-Term Weight Regain after Gastric Bypass: A 5-Year Prospective Study - Obesity Surgery.” SpringerLink, 8 Apr. 2008. 7. Omalu, Bennet I, et al. “Death Rates and Causes of Death After Bariatric Surgery for Pennsylvania Residents, 1995 to 2004.” Jama Network, 1 Oct. 2007.  8. King, Wendy C., et al. “Prevalence of Alcohol Use Disorders Before and After Bariatric Surgery.” Jama Network, 20 June 2012.  9. Gletsu-Miller, Nana, and Breanne N. Wright. “Mineral Malnutrition Following Bariatric Surgery.” Advances In Nutrition: An International Review Journal, Sept. 2013.

Evidence suggests that repeatedly losing and gaining weight is linked to cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes and altered immune function [10].

10. Tomiyama, A Janet, et al. “Long‐term Effects of Dieting: Is Weight Loss Related to Health?” Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 6 July 2017.

Prescribed weight loss is the leading predictor of eating disorders [11].

11. Patton, GC, et al. “Onset of Adolescent Eating Disorders: Population Based Cohort Study over 3 Years.” BMJ (Clinical Research Ed.), 20 Mar. 1999.

The idea that “obesity” is unhealthy and can cause or exacerbate illnesses is a biased misrepresentation of the scientific literature that is informed more by bigotry than credible science [12]. 

12. Medvedyuk, Stella, et al. “Ideology, Obesity and the Social Determinants of Health: A Critical Analysis of the Obesity and Health Relationship” Taylor & Francis Online, 7 June 2017.

“Obesity” has no proven causative role in the onset of any chronic condition [13, 14] and its appearance may be a protective response to the onset of numerous chronic conditions generated from currently unknown causes [15, 16, 17, 18].

13. Kahn, BB, and JS Flier. “Obesity and Insulin Resistance.” The Journal of Clinical Investigation, Aug. 2000. 14. Cofield, Stacey S, et al. “Use of Causal Language in Observational Studies of Obesity and Nutrition.” Obesity Facts, 3 Dec. 2010.  15. Lavie, Carl J, et al. “Obesity and Cardiovascular Disease: Risk Factor, Paradox, and Impact of Weight Loss.” Journal of the American College of Cardiology, 26 May 2009.  16. Uretsky, Seth, et al. “Obesity Paradox in Patients with Hypertension and Coronary Artery Disease.” The American Journal of Medicine, Oct. 2007.  17. Mullen, John T, et al. “The Obesity Paradox: Body Mass Index and Outcomes in Patients Undergoing Nonbariatric General Surgery.” Annals of Surgery, July 2005. 18. Tseng, Chin-Hsiao. “Obesity Paradox: Differential Effects on Cancer and Noncancer Mortality in Patients with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus.” Atherosclerosis, Jan. 2013.

Fatness was associated with only 1/3 the associated deaths that previous research estimated and being “overweight” conferred no increased risk at all, and may even be a protective factor against all-causes mortality relative to lower weight categories [19].

19. Flegal, Katherine M. “The Obesity Wars and the Education of a Researcher: A Personal Account.” Progress in Cardiovascular Diseases, 15 June 2021.

Studies have observed that about 30% of so-called “normal weight” people are “unhealthy” whereas about 50% of so-called “overweight” people are “healthy”. Thus, using the BMI as an indicator of health results in the misclassification of some 75 million people in the United States alone [20]. 

20. Rey-López, JP, et al. “The Prevalence of Metabolically Healthy Obesity: A Systematic Review and Critical Evaluation of the Definitions Used.” Obesity Reviews : An Official Journal of the International Association for the Study of Obesity, 15 Oct. 2014.

While epidemiologists use BMI to calculate national obesity rates (nearly 35% for adults and 18% for kids), the distinctions can be arbitrary. In 1998, the National Institutes of Health lowered the overweight threshold from 27.8 to 25—branding roughly 29 million Americans as fat overnight—to match international guidelines. But critics noted that those guidelines were drafted in part by the International Obesity Task Force, whose two principal funders were companies making weight loss drugs [21].

21. Butler, Kiera. “Why BMI Is a Big Fat Scam.” Mother Jones, 25 Aug. 2014. 

Body size is largely determined by genetics [22].

22. Wardle, J. Carnell, C. Haworth, R. Plomin. “Evidence for a strong genetic influence on childhood adiposity despite the force of the obesogenic environment” American Journal of Clinical Nutrition Vol. 87, No. 2, Pages 398-404, February 2008.

Healthy lifestyle habits are associated with a significant decrease in mortality regardless of baseline body mass index [23].  

23. Matheson, Eric M, et al. “Healthy Lifestyle Habits and Mortality in Overweight and Obese Individuals.” Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine : JABFM, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 25 Feb. 2012.

Weight stigma itself is deadly. Research shows that weight-based discrimination increases risk of death by 60% [24].

24. Sutin, Angela R., et al. “Weight Discrimination and Risk of Mortality .” Association for Psychological Science, 25 Sept. 2015.

Fat stigma in the medical establishment [25] and society at large arguably [26] kills more fat people than fat does [27, 28, 29].

25. Puhl, Rebecca, and Kelly D. Bronwell. “Bias, Discrimination, and Obesity.” Obesity Research, 6 Sept. 2012. 26. Engber, Daniel. “Glutton Intolerance: What If a War on Obesity Only Makes the Problem Worse?” Slate, 5 Oct. 2009.  27. Teachman, B. A., Gapinski, K. D., Brownell, K. D., Rawlins, M., & Jeyaram, S. (2003). Demonstrations of implicit anti-fat bias: The impact of providing causal information and evoking empathy. Health Psychology, 22(1), 68–78. 28. Chastain, Ragen. “So My Doctor Tried to Kill Me.” Dances With Fat, 15 Dec. 2009. 29. Sutin, Angelina R, Yannick Stephan, and Antonio Terraciano. “Weight Discrimination and Risk of Mortality.” Psychological Science, 26 Nov. 2015.

There's my "proof." Where is yours?

[jessicalprice]

christian universalism strikes again

(Reposted from Twitter)

So a rabbi I know came back from LA pretty jazzed about a Jewish addiction treatment facility there called Beit T'shuvah and so we talked about their approach and that got me curious about non-AA approaches to dealing with addiction which, my friends, was fascinating.

I’ll admit that almost everything I know about AA is more or less from The West Wing. I'm fortunate in that no one in my immediate family has dealt with substance abuse issues, and as far as I know, none of my close friends are alcoholics. My knowledge is pop culture knowledge.

But hearing about Beit T’shuvah was very interesting to me because:

I'd heard that a lot of people who aren't Christian have a hard time with AA because it's so Christian.

The difference in philosophy was subtle at first glance but actually paralleled a lot of the differences between Judaism and Christianity if you dug into it.

Anyway, I got curious about whether success rates were different for Christians vs. non-Christians and started googling. I didn't find much in the way of the data I was looking for, but I did find something a lot more disturbing, which is that the whole 12-step thing is not science-based. At all. For example:

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse compared the current current state of addiction treatment to medicine in the early 1900s, when there weren't a lot of standards for who could practice medicine. In order to be a substance abuse counselor in many states, you don't need much more than a GED or high school diploma.

A 2006 survey found "no experimental studies unequivocally demonstrated the effectiveness of AA or TSF approaches for reducing alcohol dependence or problems."

And I want to make clear here that I'm not saying AA is bad--clearly it's helped people. The problem is that it's touted as a universal approach, which is a problem when it's not based on any sort of actual science. 

AA claims that its success rates for people who "really try" are 75%. (And boy does that mirror gaslighting diet language.) But the most precise study out there that's NOT coming from AA (https://amazon.com/dp/B00FIMWI1O) put actual success rates at 5-8%. One of the major textbooks on treating addiction ranks it at 38th out of 48 on its list of effective treatments.

So just like most fad diets, it fails for almost everyone who tries it, and then blames the individual for its failure.

A glaring issue is that the 12 steps don't really acknowledge--or provide any guidance or structure for dealing with--other mental/emotional health issues. That’s a giant problem when people with substance abuse issues have higher than average rates of those issues. (Take a moment to consider how the victim-blaming approach of “if you didn’t succeed, it’s because you didn’t try hard enough” is going to intersect with someone’s major depression.)

Now, if 12-step programs were just one available treatment approach out of many, this wouldn’t be that big of an issue.

But 12% of AA members are there because of court orders. Our legal system is requiring people to undergo treatment that is: 

Christian-based

Not scientifically supported

A failure for the vast majority of people

I mean, here's a pretty comprehensive breakdown that talks about the lack of scientific support for it, alternative treatments (like those in Finland, and naltrexone), and the fundamentalist origins of AA. 

The founder was a member of the Oxford Group, an evangelical organization that taught that all human problems stemmed from fear and selfishness, and could be solved by turning your life over to divine providence, basically. Sound familiar? He based AA on those principles, and given that the only alternative was "drying out" in a sanatorium, and that AA members would show up at bedsides there and invite inpatients to meetings, it must have looked really enlightened to people. In 2022, it bears a queasy resemblance to evangelizing to people in prison, literally a captive audience. 

To be fair--to their credit--they were some of the first people out there saying alcoholism was a disease, and not a moral failing. But they didn’t treat it like a disease when it came to testing treatment options:

Mann also collaborated with a physiologist named E. M. Jellinek. Mann was eager to bolster the scientific claims behind AA, and Jellinek wanted to make a name for himself in the growing field of alcohol research. In 1946, Jellinek published the results of a survey mailed to 1,600 AA members. Only 158 were returned. Jellinek and Mann jettisoned 45 that had been improperly completed and another 15 filled out by women, whose responses were so unlike the men’s that they risked complicating the results. From this small sample—98 men—Jellinek drew sweeping conclusions about the “phases of alcoholism,” which included an unavoidable succession of binges that led to blackouts, “indefinable fears,” and hitting bottom. Though the paper was filled with caveats about its lack of scientific rigor, it became AA gospel.

And then Senator Harold Hughes, who was an AA member, got Congress to establish the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, which promoted AA's beliefs, and sometimes suppressed research that conflicted with them:

In 1976, for instance, the Rand Corporation released a study of more than 2,000 men who had been patients at 44 different NIAAA-funded treatment centers. The report noted that 18 months after treatment, 22 percent of the men were drinking moderately. The authors concluded that it was possible for some alcohol-dependent men to return to controlled drinking. Researchers at the National Council on Alcoholism charged that the news would lead alcoholics to falsely believe they could drink safely. The NIAAA, which had funded the research, repudiated it. Rand repeated the study, this time looking over a four-year period. The results were similar.

The standard 28-day rehab stay, prescribed and insured:

Marvin D. Seppala, the chief medical officer at the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation in Minnesota, one of the oldest inpatient rehab facilities in the country, described for me how 28 days became the norm: “In 1949, the founders found that it took about a week to get detoxed, another week to come around so [the patients] knew what they were up to, and after a couple of weeks they were doing well, and stable. That’s how it turned out to be 28 days. There’s no magic in it.”

The last sentence here (bolded for emphasis) is especially chilling. 

That may be heartening, but it’s not science. As the rehab industry began expanding in the 1970s, its profit motives dovetailed nicely with AA’s view that counseling could be delivered by people who had themselves struggled with addiction, rather than by highly trained (and highly paid) doctors and mental-health professionals. No other area of medicine or counseling makes such allowances.

There is no mandatory national certification exam for addiction counselors. The 2012 Columbia University report on addiction medicine found that only six states required alcohol- and substance-abuse counselors to have at least a bachelor’s degree and that only one state, Vermont, required a master’s degree. Fourteen states had no license requirements whatsoever—not even a GED or an introductory training course was necessary—and yet counselors are often called on by the judicial system and medical boards to give expert opinions on their clients’ prospects for recovery.

And, again, the idea that this is the One True And Only Way to deal with alcohol abuse leads to medical professionals ignoring research and treatment options that could be helping people. They are, in essence, taking all this completely on faith. 

There has been some progress: the Hazelden center began prescribing naltrexone and acamprosate to patients in 2003. But this makes Hazelden a pioneer among rehab centers. “Everyone has a bias,” Marvin Seppala, the chief medical officer, told me. “I honestly thought AA was the only way anyone could ever get sober, but I learned that I was wrong.”

Stephanie O’Malley, a clinical researcher in psychiatry at Yale who has studied the use of naltrexone and other drugs for alcohol-use disorder for more than two decades, says naltrexone’s limited use is “baffling.”

“There was never any campaign for this medication that said, ‘Ask your doctor,’ ” she says. “There was never any attempt to reach consumers.” Few doctors accepted that it was possible to treat alcohol-use disorder with a pill. And now that naltrexone is available in an inexpensive generic form, pharmaceutical companies have little incentive to promote it.

I'm not saying that AA is bad. I'm saying its hegemony is bad. It clearly is effective for some people--a minority of people. But it's not for the majority of people, and that's a problem when it's being prescribed by courts (and doctors) as if it's a one-size-fits-all approach.

It’s not an accident that a Christian approach to treating addiction presents itself as the One True Way For All Humankind, insists that courts and doctors privilege it, demands that people take its effectiveness on faith, and blames anyone for whom it doesn’t work for not believing/trying hard enough.

Hegemony is a problem. 

(Photo credit: Pixabay)

[ellenhghg]

˖⁺‧₊˚Final Fantasy 7 boys and sick s/o headcanons˚₊‧⁺˖

Because why not and also because I am too addicted to the games (and men) Headcanons for Cloud, Sephiroth pre- and post Nibelheim, Zack, Reno and Tseng

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ Cloud Strife ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

♡‧₊˚ Awkwardly hovers, unsure how to help but unwilling to leave your side ♡‧₊˚ Silently panics if it's more than a common cold, might call Tifa for advice ♡‧₊˚ Will literally fight the concept of germs if he could ♡‧₊˚ Unexpectedly good at giving forehead kisses to check your temperature ♡‧₊˚ Cloud's not great at nurturing talk, but he'll sit quietly by your bedside, holding your hand and offering silent support ♡‧₊˚ He gets adorably flustered if you need help bathing or changing clothes, but he'll do it without complaint

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ Pre Nibelheim Sephiroth ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

♡‧₊˚ Sephiroth takes a very methodical approach to your illness. He researches symptoms and treatments extensively ♡‧₊˚ Precisely measures medicine doses and tracks your symptoms in a notebook ♡‧₊˚ Awkwardly tries to comfort you, patting your head like you're a chocobo ♡‧₊˚ Uses his influence to get you the best medical care in Shinra ♡‧₊˚ Might work on reports by your bedside, just to keep you company ♡‧₊˚ Might accidentally intimidate the doctor with his intense concern for your well-being

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ Post Nibelheim Sephiroth ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

♡‧₊˚ Sees your illness as a weakness to be eliminated. He might try to "cure" you with Jenova cells, regardless of the consequences ♡‧₊˚ Your fever dreams get WILD with his influence ♡‧₊˚ Offers to "help" by turning you into a Sephiroth clone ♡‧₊˚ Alternates between obsessive caretaking and philosophical monologues about transcending mortal ailments ♡‧₊˚ Gets irrationally jealous of the attention your illness is "stealing" from him ♡‧₊˚ In his twisted mind, he might see the illness as a sign that you need to "ascend" with him to godhood.

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ Zack Fair ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

♡‧₊˚ Becomes the embodiment of a golden retriever, constantly asking if you need anything, possibly overwhelming you with care ♡‧₊˚ Tells terrible jokes to try and make you laugh/groan ♡‧₊˚ Insists on carrying you everywhere, even just to the bathroom ♡‧₊˚ Makes a pillow fort around you filled with every comfort item he can find ♡‧₊˚ Reads you stories, doing all the voices with great enthusiasm ♡‧₊˚ Ends up catching your cold because he refused to stop cuddling you

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ Reno ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

♡‧₊˚ Cracks jokes about your "zombie apocalypse transformation" ♡‧₊˚ Sneaks you into Shinra's top-tier medical facilities "for a check-up" ♡‧₊˚ Mixes up a "secret Turk remedy" that's suspiciously alcoholic ♡‧₊˚ Will binge-watch trashy TV shows with you without complaint ♡‧₊˚ Whines dramatically about catching your cold, but still refuses to leave your side ♡‧₊˚ Secretly very worried, checks on you frequently under the guise of "just happening to stop by"

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖ Tsung ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

♡‧₊˚ Efficiently organizes everything you might need, from medicines to entertainment ♡‧₊˚ Takes time off work to care for you (shocking everyone at Shinra) ♡‧₊˚ Reads reports to you as "bedtime stories" when you can't sleep ♡‧₊˚ Makes traditional Wutaian remedies, insisting they're more effective ♡‧₊˚ Secretly touches your forehead to check for fever when he thinks you're asleep ♡‧₊˚ Might use Turk surveillance techniques to monitor your condition

[aurorangen]

In Detail: Vincent Kingsley

TYSM for tagging me @gamyrmaiden and @matchalovertrait 😊 I loved learning more about Ben and Noemí! Now I will do this for Vincent, it's perfect to hint at some of his backstory 👀 Also you can check out the one I did last time for Bryce here!

Personal

Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

Medical: fit / moderate / sickly? (he has congenital heart disease and has had treatments - surgery/medication. he has regular check-ups with the doctors and mostly leads a normal life) / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable

Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other

Education: qualified (law degree) / unqualified / studying / other

Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no (*important* but he's a victim of a crime. also he withheld some info from detectives during his Dad's disappearance case and has a reason behind it) / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

Family

Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children

Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling (YET! obviously his Dad led a double life and he's only known Isaac for a few months) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased

Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable

Traits and Tendencies

extroverted / introverted /in between

disorganized / organized / in between

close minded / open-minded / in between

calm / anxious / in between

disagreeable / agreeable / in between

cautious / reckless / in between

patient / impatient / in between

outspoken / reserved / in between

leader / follower / in between

empathetic / vicious bastard / in between

optimistic / pessimistic / in between

traditional / modern / in between

hard-working / lazy / in between

cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown

loyal / disloyal / unknown

faithful / unfaithful / unknown

Beliefs

Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic

Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

Belief in Aliens: yes/ no / don’t know / don’t care (fun fact: Charlie told him about mermaids when he was a kid 😉 he was a massive geek when he was a child/teen being into superheroes, sci-fi and all that cool stuff! now he doesn't really care ahaha)

Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

Philosophical: yes / no

Sexuality and Romantic Inclination

Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual

Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naïve and clueless / romance suspicious

Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious

Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

Abilities

Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor/ none

Habits

Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic

Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker

Recreational Drugs: never / quit / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict

Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess

Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

Gambling: never / rarely (idk if it's just dramas but y'know lawyers exposing the truth/obtaining info by whatever means necessary) / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

I will tag: @grimm-haven @stefsimz @raiiny-bay @illuminated-foxx @rebelangelsims but feel free to ignore 😊

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Angels Are Avian-Adjacent"

Rated: Teen

Pairing: Steve x Bucky

Tags: wing fic, avian creatures, angel Steve, veterinarian Bucky, supernatural meet-cute, fantasy au, injury and medical treatment

Summary: Unlike Bucky's regular patients, Steve was going to need a bit more reassurance than a simple belly rub or placating scritch behind the ear.

(A last minute fill to grab a B-I-N-G-O on Stucky'Verse Bingo!)

A fill for @stuckyversebingo

card: sarah-writes-stucky / sarahyellow

Square D1: "Creature: Avian"

“I … I don’t think I can do this,” Bucky stuttered, hands fluttering about nervously, hovering over one of the massive wings and then pulling away again, too freaked out to touch him. “You’re hurt. Y-you need a doctor.”

“You’re a doctor.”

“I’m a veterinarian!” 

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Steve said, voice coming out strained due to the pain he was in, “but don’t you still receive a fair degree of medical training for that?”

“For animals!” Bucky blustered. “N-not, not humans! And certainly not for … whatever the heck you are!”

Steve huffed in frustration. “I told you, I’m an—”

“An angel. Yeah, you said that.” Bucky still didn’t want to believe it, even though the proof was in the pudding, and the pudding was currently lying face down on his clinic’s exam table—all two hundred pound, six foot tall, approximately twelve foot wingspan of it. Bucky laughed slightly hysterically. “This is insane!”

“Be that as it may, this actually hurts like a motherfucker, so if you don’t mind, isn’t there something you could give me?” Steve grit out. Bucky hesitated, until the creature turned to face him, a wince taking over his—sweaty and visibly pained, but also admittedly angelic—features. “Please?” he breathed, fear and pleading in his eyes. “I can’t go to a regular hospital. Please. You understand, don’t you?”

Bucky nodded after a beat. “Yeah,” he whispered, though he really didn’t understand a fucking thing at all. “O-okay.” He swallowed nervously and looked around, trying to gather his wits. “Um, do - do you know how meds affect you?”

Steve shook his head and tried to shrug, but when his shoulders moved his wings did too, and he gasped sharply, his pearly white teeth bared in a pained snarl—though far prettier than any made by Bucky’s usual patients. “I don’t know,” he said tightly, voice clipped from the pain of trying to hold himself still. “I’ve never needed medicine. I don’t usually get sick. or hurt.”

Bucky made a dubious face. “O-kaay … well ... how much do you weigh?” 

Steve gave him his best guess, and Bucky decided that he probably wouldn’t kill a roughly two hundred-twenty pound, avian-adjacent humanoid creature with a conservative amount of ketamine. Despite the wings he had sprouting out of his back, Steve did still appear to be mammalian in nature. The guy had nipples, leastways.

 “Okay,” Bucky said, sighing as he pulled out his phone. “Hang on for a sec.”

“What are you doing?”

His lips twisted as he started typing. “You’re just a tad heavier than my usual patients, bud. I’m consulting Dr. Google for your dosage conversion.”

After navigating past a slew of search results promoting crisis hotlines and addiction recovery centers, he was able to find the information he needed to calculate how much of the drug to give Steve. “Okay,” he breathed, still wildly nervous and freaked out over what was going on. He went and prepared an injection of the medication and came back to prep the angel’s arm with a tourniquet and alcohol swab. Steve didn’t make a peep when the needle went in, and a minute later, his body was visibly relaxing from the sudden relief of pain. 

“Oh,” he breathed, blond eyelashes fluttering against his pretty cheeks. “Oh, thank you. That’s … that’s much better.”

Not knowing where to touch him, Bucky tentatively patted the angel’s hair. “You’re welcome,” he said, eyes sliding down to the injured wing. There was a shard of metal wedged up between the secondary convert and marginal convert feathers, the blood that stained their white color indicating that whatever the object was, it’d likely pierced Steve in the humeral portion of his … his wing. 

Bucky licked his lips and moved his hands down Steve’s back, hovering, afraid to touch something so foreign. “Um, okay,” he hedged. “There’s some sort of shrapnel. I can see where it is, but I need to get a better look at the point of entry. Can you …” (Jesus, what the everloving fuck was he even doing?) “Um, can you move your wing at all?” He gingerly touched the coracoscapular joint, watching as Steve worked up the nerve to give a tentative movement. He hissed at the motion, but was able to slowly unfold his left wing out from his back. “Good,” Bucky praised, gloved hands gently guiding him. “Okay, easy. Good, right there. That’s good enough.”

Steve stopped moving, panting from the exertion, a slight sheen of sweat on his brow when he turned his head further to look at Bucky out of the corner of his eye. “How bad is it?”

“It’s not gonna be life threatening,” Bucky said after a moment of carefully moving the feathers out of the way to examine the site of penetration. “Unless you’ve got a major blood vessel in a place where birds don’t.” He inspected the injury, mentally cataloguing the supplies he was going to need to perform the extraction. “Okay,” he muttered under his breath, talking more to himself than he was to Steve. “Okay, yeah. I think this is gonna be okay. I think we can do this.”

“You can?”

Bucky’s attention shot back to Steve, who sounded very anxious. Bucky was abruptly reminded that unlike his regular patients, Steve was going to need a bit more reassurance than a simple belly rub or placating scritch behind the ear. “Yeah,” he promised, firming up his voice into something more confident and professional. “Yeah. Your anatomy is basically human, with avian anatomy in the places where I need to work."

“You operate on angels often?” Steve joked nervously.

“Nope. But I know birds, and it’s more a matter of basic principles than anything else,” Bucky reassured. “Don’t worry. I know what to do.” 

Steve exhaled in relief, and Bucky didn’t feel too guilty for making a promise he wasn’t a hundred percent confident on. “Kay,” he said, turning around to go gather what he’d need for the procedure. “We’re gonna do this under a local anesthetic, so you’ll be awake. Just give me a few minutes while I get ready.”

Masterlist

If you liked what you read and feel so inclined, please consider dropping a tip in the Kofi🍵 cup!

[wangxianficfinder]

Doctor / Firefighter / EMT

~*~

some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, can teenagers adopt a baby, or rather can a baby adopt teenagers, papayas?) hospital setting where wwx is a volunteer in a cancer ward while lwj is getting treatment. Its a happy ending though!

兔死狐悲 (tù sǐ hú bēi) by Anonymous (M, 14k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Meet-Cute, Doctor WWX, Hospitals, Canonical Character Death, (But a minor character - not the ones listed), Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort) wwx is a doc and supports lwj through losing a loved one. Simple but sweet.

Year Of Night Call by ailuridae (abigailnicole) (T, 22k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, What If Cultivators Were All Surgeons AU, surgery AU, Our Boys Are Trauma Fellows Now, The Lan Babies Are Surgery Interns, trauma fellows share a call room, and there was only one bed, hospital au, Medicine AU) They're all surgeons in this au.

Anginal Equivalents by fakeplasticlily (E, 23k, WangXian, Modern AU, Medical Residents AU, Childhood Friends, Mutual Pining, Oblivious WWX, WangXian.mp3, Sexual Content, [Podfic of] Anginal Equivalents by exmanhater)

🧡 Like a House on Fire by KouriArashi (T, 82k, WangXian, Modern au, Paramedics, Firefighters, Light angst, Mutual pining, Kid fic, Past drug use, Past child abuse, Families of choice, Domestic fluff)

Some Sort of Risk by Silvarbelle (M, 37k, wangxian, XuanLi, XiYao, modern day AU, modern au - set in China, aerial firefighting, Murder Mystery, Sabotage, Case Fic, wen siblings only mentioned and already deceased, Happy Ending, WWX's self-worth issues, Love Confessions, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Supportive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Jiang sibling feels, Xuanli Lives, Angst, Caretaking)

Flames of Desire by Blueflower740 (T, 4k, wangxian, modern, office au, firefighter LWJ, protective LWJ, jaded WWX, touch-starved, getting together, pining, caretaking, slow romance, near death experiences, rescue, injury recovery)

Backflow by mondengel (Not rated, 2k, WangXian, Angst, Time travel, Transmigration)

Collateral Circulation; and other protective factors by DrPanda99 (M, 104k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canada, Friends to Lovers, Discussions of past minor character sexual assault/harrassment, Discussion of Abortion, Medical School, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, Happy Ending, Unexpected Pregnancy, No mpreg, Succeeding in sexual assault investigations, Vomiting mentioned, Blow Jobs, Come as Lube, Barebacking, Graphic CPR)

trauma call by Kkharrin (M, 45k, WIP, WangXian, XiCheng, Modern AU, Medical Professionals, Medical, Doctor AU, angst with fluff, Friends to Lovers, warnings for injury, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, though pre fic and character no longer in relationship, also lots of medical procedures if that makes you uncomfortable, Past Drug Addiction, Mental Health Issues, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Major Illness, house fire, Mentions of Cancer, PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, Alcohol, it has a happy ending i promise)

plant a little happiness (let the roots run deep) by fleurdeliser (E, 47k, WangXian, Modern AU, Car Accidents, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Non-Explicit References to Injuries and Death, References to Addiction, Doctors & Physicians, these tags imply a much more serious story, than this actually is, Falling In Love, soft romance, background 3zun)

To lurk, to lie in wait by trippednfell (M, 124k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Huli Jing, strangers to co-parents to lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Dragons, Kid Fic, teenage juniors, background NieLan, Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Fox Spirit WWX, Dragon LWJ, Blood and Injury, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

Nursery Rhymes by manaika (M, 96k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, modern, minor character death, inexperienced WWX, experienced LWJ, romance, reconciliation, slow burn, childhood trauma, found family, nurse WWX, teacher LWJ, doctor LXC, music as a love language)

Pound the Alarm by DizziDreams (T, 1k, WangXian, adapted threadfic, tiktok inspired, Firefighter LWJ, thirst traps gone wrong (or right?))

~*~

[tenpintsofsundrop]

Spencer Reid + Migraines

(Chronic pain as a metaphor for emotional baggage or emotional blocks in media)

TLDR; I hate it when media uses pain (especially irl chronic pain conditions) as a metaphor for emotional trauma and allows a character to be healed once they have gotten over their trauma.

So this is a rant I've had building up for a while now, especially because I've seen quite a few people on my dashboard talking about Maeve/the Maeve storyline, and how she was introduced to the show as Spencer's doctor who magically "cured" his headaches with vitamins? Apparently (I don't remember the details because I haven't seen those episodes in so long, but yikes).

I am a chronic pain sufferer and I have been formally diagnosed with chronic migraines. Because of a medication used to treat chronic migraines, I haven't had an attack in more than three years (save for one outlier).

Migraines are an intensely serious medical problem, and it's weird to me that Spencer was clearly having migraine attacks on the show and they didn't address it as it's own medical problem? They just acted like he was having some light headaches and needed to ignore it and get over the problem or "find the root cause" - aka stop being sad and then your brain will get better???

When I was originally watching the Season 6 episodes where Spencer starts struggling with his "headaches", I have never related to something more in my life. Especially because at that point in my life, I was still have 2 or 3 migraine attacks per month, and seeing him wearing sunglasses indoors, aggressively bouncing his leg to try and distract from the pain while sitting in a hospital waiting room, rubbing his eye sockets, flinching at the light - that was and sometimes still is my life.

When the doctors determined that he didn't have epilepsy, didn't have a tumor, etc. I was like "okay, so they're gonna treat him for migraines and acknowledge that migraines are a really detrimental chronic pain condition."

But no. They just have him the whole "idk. You're not dying so the pain must be cause you're like... sad."

And I totally understand Spencer not wanting to take medication because of his past with Dualdid, but there are so many non-narcotic options for pain treatment. Especially because his character is very into science, it would have been interesting to see him exploring alternative (very traditional) medicine like acupuncture or massage, while acknowledging his past drug addiction as a problem and saying that he doesn't want to relapse.

Hell, it would have even been nice for them to acknowledge that his caffeine addiction could have been affecting his headaches and for there to be a little subplot where he was super irritable because his doctor asked him to quit coffee to see if it made his headaches go away. (Because one of the first migraine treatments is quitting caffeine, chocolate, or alcohol - common trigger foods.)

But instead, the show presented his headaches as a physical presentation of his emotional pain. Which is something incredibly common for shows to do - the other example I can think of is Weeds. But in general I fucking hate the idea that chronic pain is just an embodiment of emotional trauma, and once you get over that emotional trauma, you are "cured". (Because it was narratively implied in the show that part of the reason Maeve was able to cure his headaches is because he was in love with her, not because of the weird pills she gave him.)

For once, I would like to see a show acknowledge chronic pain as a problem that is 100% out of the control of a person, and even though it's not life threatening, it still fucking sucks. And while it might be treatable, it is incurable. Like HELLO

Don't treat it like some emotional arc that the person has to get over and not a problem that people have to realistically battle for their whole lives. I HATE the metaphor that pain is just a manifestation of negative emotions and it will go away once you acknowledge your trauma or battle those negative emotions.

I so badly wanted them to acknowledge Spencer as a chronic migraine patient and treat him as such.

But anyway. That's it

[rakshaknashamuktikendra]

How to get over depression by expert doctors

This natural problem and simply overcome feeling of dread- five simple step  Connect with family and friends, Practice self-care, practice meditation, Challenge negative thoughts, Seek professional help. And believe you self that recovery is a process and it takes time. Be kind to yourself and don’t give up hope.

Reach out: Let loved ones know that you're going through a difficult time and could use their support. Spend time together: Make plans to spend time with friends and family, whether it's going for a walk, having a meal, or simply chatting. Open up: Sharing your feelings and thoughts with others can help you feel heard and understood. Seek support: Ask friends and family for help with tasks or to be there for you when you need them to recover. Try new things: Doing new activities or trying new experiences with loved ones can help you build positive memories and form stronger connections.

 Practice self-care : 

Get regular Exercise : just 30 min.  Physical activity can help boost mood and reduce stress.

Eat well: A healthy diet can help improve overall physical and mental well-being.

Make sleep a priority : Aim to get 7-10 hours of sleep each night.

Reduce alcohol and Drugs: These can obstruct sleep and make depression symptoms worse recommended for the Nasha mukti kendra to overcome this.

Engage in activities you enjoy: Doing things with your relatives, such as hobbies, can boost your mood and provide a sense of accomplishment.

Practice mindfulness:

This can help you stay present in the moment and reduce stress level and feeling of dread.Set realistic goals: realize even small goals can help improve self-confidence and boost mood.

Practice meditation : 

Starting a meditation practice can seem daunting. In the beginning, it's normal for your thoughts to race, and to feel like it isn't working.

Mindfulness meditation : Mindfulness meditation is the practice of actually being present in the moment, which in turn trains us to become more mindful throughout the day, particularly during difficult situations. As Ms. Brach puts it: “Mindfulness is your awareness of what's going on in the present moment without any judgment.

Body scan meditation : The body scan is a mindfulness meditation practice involving scanning your body for pain, tension, or anything out of the ordinary. It can help you feel more joined to your  emotional and physical  self. At this point, you've probably heard all about the benefits of meditation and mindfulness

Walking meditation : Walking meditation, also called kinhin or mindful walking, is a moving meditation from the Buddhist tradition. You keep your eyes open and use the experience of walking as the focal point

Loving kindness meditation : Loving-kindness meditation (sometimes called “metta” meditation) is a great way to cultivate our propensity for kindness. It involves mentally sending goodwill, kindness, and warmth towards others by silently repeating a series of mantras.

Transcendental meditation : The Transcendental Meditation technique is simple and effortless. You sit comfortably with your eyes closed and practice twice a day for 20 minutes. With the Transcendental Meditation technique, you don't need an app to guide your meditation. Instead, you silently repeat a mantra in your head.

Challenge negative thoughts:  

Challenging negative thoughts is a practice of reframing your negative self-talk to create a positive shift in your mindset. But challenging thoughts takes a little more effort than just trying to think positively. For starters, it's helpful to consider your effort versus the outcome.

Get Busy yourself to activities. When you recognize a negative thought to avoid and diviret, get busy to work and quality time, Improve circulation in your body, Shake hands with positive thoughts., Pranayama and Meditation, Move Around to your friends and family, Become a witness to your thoughts.you boost your negative thoughts throw to join  the best alcohol addiction treatment you will realize result to you overcome negative thoughts.

 Seek professional help : 

You can look for a mental health professional by asking your primary care physician for a recommendation, asking friends or family members, or even looking up a therapist in your area online. These professionals include clinical social workers, psychiatric nurse practitioners, psychologists and licensed counselors.

[transmutationisms]

since we're discussing book recs, do you have any recs for stuff about the formulation of The Addict, as discussed in your kendallposts? or do the antipsych books/essays also cover addiction

yeah so, in that post i basically did an ad hoc synthesis of deleuze's 'postscript on the societies of control'; foucault's lectures at the collège de france, specifically the 1975–76 series; a few things mark fisher mentions in 'capitalist realism'; and some elements of byung-chul han's 'psychopolitics' (even tho his reading of foucault leaves a lot to be desired). these are well-known texts and other people have certainly brought them together, though i don't know off the top of my head of anyone using them in that specific way in reference to kendall roy succession lol.

that model (bare bones of a model, really) has limited explanatory potential outside of narrative fiction, largely because it's bouncing so heavily off foucault and deleuze on biopolitics and control societies, and neither of them were good historians. also, with kendall, so much of the figuration of addiction is specifically in regards to coke and catholic bourgeois masculinity, so it's not aiming for or achieving any kind of universal discourse on addiction writ large.

in general i would say antipsych literature does have a lot to say about addiction as well, though there are critical points of distinction historically and presently in terms of the clinical and disciplinary treatments of addiction as opposed to other psychiatric diagnoses. also, 'addiction' is in some ways a misleading category that flattens distinctions between different substances and discourses about users. for example, in the context of the us alone, there are radically different stories to tell about conceptions of alcohol, crack cocaine, psychedelics, synthetic opioids, and so on and so forth. the idea of a single neurobiological state of 'addiction', and a single figure of the 'addict', is more a function of politics and medical specialisation over the course of the last two centuries than anything else.

anyway, some places i would suggest to start on addiction specifically are:

how the brain disease paradigm remoralizes addictive behaviour, in 'science and culture' vol. 24, no. 1, pp. 46–64, by mark elam (2015); doi 10.1080/09505431.2014.936373

birth of a brain disease: science, the state, and addiction neuropolitics, in 'history of the human sciences' vol. 23, no. 4, pp. 52–67, by scott vrecko (2010); doi 10.1177/0952695110371598

crack in the rearview mirror: deconstructing drug war mythologies, in 'social justice' vol. 31, no. 1/2, pp. 182–199, by craig reinarman & harry g levine (2004); jstor.org/stable/29768248

addiction trajectories, ed. eugene a raikhel & william campbell garriott (2013)

white market drugs: big pharma and the hidden history of addiction in america, by david herzberg (2020) (i disagree strongly with his public policy recommendations, but this text is useful in historicising the 'opioid crisis' and in showing the construction of the drug/medicine dichotomy and the accompanying functions of 'white markets' vs 'black markets' in the us)

[lonelynpc]

dear dr. on mandated leave,

have you ever been in the room for an alcohol detox? is anaesthesia used to smooth out hardcore withdrawal symptoms, or just sedatives, or am i confusing which is which? basically, any thoughts alcohol use, alcohol withdrawal, AUD, & anaesthesia

hi! this will be a long one but thank you for the interesting question! i'm not an addiction specialist nor critical care specialist but this is what i know.

so, first of all, you are right in saying that sedatives are part of anaesthesia. there are several different types of anaesthesia that can be used combined or as individual treatments. in no particular order, there's general, local, regional, neuraxial, and sedation, each with different indications and goals.

AWS is part of critical care medicine (or intensive care) which is a sort of sub-specialty that requires prior training in anaesthesia, emergency, paediatrics or primary medicine, and there are further subcategories to critical care. some countries also have addiction specialists as a separate subcategory.

now, general anaesthesia (GA) masks the onset of AWS. approximately 1 in 5 patients in for surgery have an alcohol use disorder (AUD), for emergency surgery or aerodigestive oncology surgery this is about 50% if i'm remembering correctly. a side effect of general anaesthesia is emergence delirium (ED*), there are different forms of ED but a risk factor for ED is AUD. patients with AUD are also at higher risk of other surgical complications. this is just a bit of a side note.

AWS can range from mild to severe, sometimes it can be fatal. it is seen after a reduction in alcohol intake after a period of excessive use as chronic use of alcohol changes the brain chemistry, especially changes to the GABAergic system. the GABAergic system is the primary inhibitory neurotransmitter for the central nervous system (CNS); alcohol is a CNS depressant.

a short explanation of this is that episodic intoxication causes excessive production of GABA which has a sedative effect. chronic alcohol use changes the balance of the inhibitory signals and excitatory (glutamate) signals of the CNS, basically the body adjusts to the influx of GABA by over-producing glutamate. once a patient who chronically drinks alcohol stops or reduces the amount, the GABA signals are diminished and the excess glutamate causes AWS.

a lot of the drugs used in anaesthesia are GABA receptor agonists, the treatment of an overdose is a GABA receptor antagonist, which have a stimulant or convulsant effect. for example, propofol is a really common GABA receptor agonist in general anaesthesia.

so, you can imagine that in the acute phase of AWS, management of a patient's neurochemistry is crucial and this is managed with medication.

management of the signs and symptoms of AWS are generally:

a quiet room with minimal stimulation and low lighting.

fluid and electrolyte balance.

early sedation to manage acute symptoms and prevent injury.

nutrition management.

airway management in heavily sedated patients.

psychiatric treatment.

medication, especially benzodiazipines and anticonvulsants.

basically, a person experiencing AWS will likely be sedated early on and will require monitoring to prevent aspiration (entry of foreign materials into the airway and lungs). we have to be very careful what drugs we give and how much we give so that we don't mask the symptoms or over-sedate, propofol has been given in some cases but as mentioned above, GA masks the onset and patients have been observed coming out of GA with the same withdrawal symptoms they went under with.

there are different levels of sedation and as i don't manage this, i'm not too sure what level they would use as a standard but i would imagine that it would depend on the patient as i know some are deeply sedated.

typical monitoring devices** you will see under sedation:

3-lead ECG or 5-lead depending on cardiac history and concern. a 12-lead ECG is purely diagnostic so unless a cardiac event has taken place or is suspected to have taken place, it will not be used.

pulse oximetry.

IV access for fluid and electrolyte balance.

blood pressure, either non-invasively (cuff) or invasively (arterial line). typically it depends on the severity but generally we aim for non-invasive, cycling every 5 minutes if possible. an arterial line would more than likely not be used.

capnography which monitors the ETCO2 of a patient, this is end-tidal carbon dioxide so it's telling us how much is being exhaled. i could make a whole post on capnography alone, it's extremely valuable. capnography is measured with a gas analyser attached to the monitor and to the respiratory filter, it looks like a clear, thin tube.

my closing thoughts and footnotes are below the cut.

AUD and AWS need to be treated with compassion and sympathy as much as being treated medically. i have profound sympathy for people struggling with addiction, it's an incredibly difficult thing to manage alone and it is so important to be somebody that the patient can trust and find comfort in.

we see a lot of shame in people struggling with addiction and it is incredibly difficult to seek help, people are often deterred because they think their healthcare provider will judge them which, unfortunately in some cases, is true. i think a really important part of this branch of medicine is breaking the stigma that surrounds addiction.

i have had patients confide in me because i go out of my way to make sure they can feel comfortable talking to me, from there i ask if they would like me to put them in contact with support services. i offer to call a psychiatrist in, and i listen. i listen to them talk about the heavy stuff, i listen to them talk about the light stuff, i listen to everything.

as one of my old teachers said:

"listening is a valuable tool in medicine. let your patients talk to you, let them rant, let them cry, let them shed some of that burden. you might be the first person that's listened to them in a long time."

*this is why it is so important to be aware of what medical terminology we are using and who we are using it with. ED to me is emergence delirium but to most others it's probably erectile dysfunction. PND generally is post-natal depression, to me it is perioperative neurocognitive disorders.

**i tried to find some good pictures of anaesthetic monitors so that i could label the different values and waveforms but they all looked ugly or had watermarks and it would also make this page way too long.

[naebulla]

Write somethings for the girls, it might have alot more

---------------------------------------------------

●Psycho:

-Know everyone's feeling by a look

-Really good at playing game

-A love expert

-Like something thrilling

-Love combat knifes (she has a collection about it), small animal, cute things, games

-Has a pet, is a rabbit names Lollipop

●Flowergarden

-Cook like a true chef

-Love planting flowers and greens

-A biologist

-Own a small cafe

●Poison

-Can make medicine and chemicals

-A Surgeon

-Love butterflies, night, walking in the park

-Used to went to a same highschool with Dust but they dont meet much

●Lightning

-Born in Samurai family

-Achieve a 1st worldwide fencing competition

-Might look cold but actually sweet, she's really good at treating elderly and kids

-Govern the family's shrine so she's a Miko (Shrine-maiden)

●Phantom

-A Mediums, she can talk to a ghost

-Instead of watching news on a television, she like to read it in newspaper

-Likes collecting old things, Vintage

-Own a library

-Can sing high note

-Actress in every old movie vibes

●Signature

-A nerdddddddd (like she addicted to study) and detective too

-known like almost everything in this world

-N..no she dont speak "einstein's intelligents"....

-Watch alot of movies and "no spoiler alert"

-Sleep at 3am just to read a books or watch a serie movie (she's the one wake up late)

-Good at suggest strategies

-Can write Calligraphy and make handmade things

●Weather

-Can know what's the weather today by looking at the sky

-A weather forcaster

-Was born in a mafia family so she really good at torturing and knowledge of human body

-Loves adrenaline-rush activity, especially Russian roulette

-Like blythe dolls and taking photos

-Can play piano, violin and write Calligraphy

●Angel

-A lawyer

-Like luxury event

-If the client dont listen to her or dont follow the rule, she strangle them.

-A good keep promise person, but sometime have to break it if the thing they tell is worst

-She will punch someone if they're graceless to her

●DJBomb

-Likes party, bar, healthy exercises

-Travelling alot, buy some souvenir for the fam

-Loves sun-bathe, alcohol (but not addicted, she know her limit),collecting glasses

-Really love beaches

-Change her hair colour alot (like about 3,4 month to change it)

-Her actual hair is blonde

-Paste stickes everywhere in the house

-Can make music

-Have angel fangs piercing

●Illustration

-Really good at Fashion, Hairstyling, Make-up, Nailing,....anything about beauty

-Loves renaissance arts, beautiful scenery, baking, travelling (often go with DJBomb), Shopping

-Can write Calligraphy and make handmade things

-Also good at photographing

-Actually Y2k is not her default style, she's wearing every style

●Core

-Loves car race, motorbike, car, tatto, adrenaline-rush activity, climbing,....like anythings look cool

-A Cybersigilism tatto artist, she even sell them too

-Have knowledge about gun and knife

-Can create techno things and hacking

-Parkour really good

-Have nose rings

●Sun

-Good with everyone

-Cook like a true chef

-Love beautiful scenery, anything vintage or royal, Peacefull moment, Cathedral (She just love the view)

-Can sing opera

-Style her hair everyday

-Morning bird

-Treatment very well

-Have knowledge about everythings

-Love reading books

●Moon

-Love tea, book, shopping, jewelry, luxury clothe, beautiful scenery, night, star, black, mystery, models

-Sometime spent her time with the family (She's busy her works)

-A billionaire

-Is the most best cooker in the house

-Sometime felt guilty about her past

-Used to in a military team with Nightmare and Dream

-Very strong

[peppermintwhisp]

Stop portraying Jason’s parents as deadbeats. You’re perpetuating a harmful stereotype without even realizing it.

You don’t have to be a bad person to work for a criminal. You don’t have to be an abusive dad or a petty thug or an alcoholic. Good people, kind people can end up in prison.

You don’t have to be a neglectful mother to end up with a drug addiction. You didn’t choose your addiction over your kid if you die of an overdose.

Picture this. The Todd’s are a middle class, nuclear family living in the suburbs. Both parents are working and they are able to have a comfortable living and save for retirement. Then Catherine gets a cancer diagnosis. In 5 months, the cost of treatments completely destroyed their savings. Catherine loses her job and her health insurance. They have to sell their home and move to a smaller, cheaper apartment in Park Row. The costs of medicine is too high. They have to sell their car. Willis doesn’t have reliable transport to his job. He loses his job. They need money to put food on the table. The only work he can find that pays enough to support his family is working for Two-Face. They can’t afford to see the doctor anymore to get prescriptions for Catherine’s painkillers. The free clinic doctors refuse to give her opioids. She starts using street drugs. Throughout all this, they still try to protect their 9 year old son from the devastating turn their lives have taken. Catherine helps him study for his spelling tests and reads with him every night. She gives him her portion of dinner when his stomach won’t stop growling. Willis teaches Jason to swim on free swim days at the community pool and gives vague answers when Jason asks him what he did at work. They try to hide the bills and the credit card statements and the past due notices until after he falls asleep at night. One night Willis gets arrested. They can’t afford the apartment without his income and get evicted. Catherine and Jason stay at the shelters when they can. Then Catherine gets a dose laced with fentanyl and dies, leaving their 9 year old son to fend for himself on the streets.

Tldr: Being poor is not a moral failing. Just because Jason was homeless when Bruce found him doesn’t mean one or both his parents were shitty parents.

[mahvaladara]

I wanted to do this.

Tal Mutt Sullyvan

[ PERSONAL ]

$ Financial: wealthy (his parents are) / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit (as healthy as a weredragon) / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no (technically not. What happens in the Mill stays in the Mill, but he has hospitalized werewolves in the past. I mean, he's a weredragon, non of them stand a chance) / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

[ FAMILY ]

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased (one of his siblings died still young. They didn't survive their first transformation) ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable 

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between (he can be pretty vicious if he's pushed. He is a were-dragon) ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between (realist) ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ BELIEFS ]

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / Alcoholic ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed (antidepressants , help suppress his werebeast) / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater (undergoing ED treatment for that) $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

[angstyandromanticwriting]

Barbie/Barbra Handler X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute and Somewhat Fluffy Prompt

• Occurs after the events of the film

• There will be more!

!TW: Implied previously being abused + manipulated by family, implied suffering from anxiety + separation anxiety + depression, elements of being stalked, swearing, feeling sick + dizzy, implied having alcohol poisoning, implied suffering from PTSD, presence of alcohol + implied substance abuse + addiction (to alcohol), self-doubt, self put-down(s), drug use (medicinal), implied sexual occurrence, implied poor treatment by family, mention of previously being raped + pregnancy as a result of rape, violence, blood, injury detail, elements of being gaslit, falling unconscious, insult(s) - If I’ve missed any, let me know ❤️!

Surprisingly, after you’d seen your mother outside upon Barbra’s return home after she’d told Jack about your and her recently getting together, you hadn’t seen her again for a little while, until the day of Sasha’s school play in which she had taken up the main role, making you feel as if you might have escaped her, and a little more content - Barbra and Bailey would hopefully be safe from her and the other members of your abusive and manipulative family, from now on, until you saw them again.

On the way to Sasha’s school, after you and Barbra had dropped Bailey off at Gloria’s mother’s house, you and Barbra would sit in the back of Gloria’s car whilst you hooked your arms around one another subconsciously, and would comfortably rest your heads upon one another; Barbra’s head was rested upon your left shoulder whilst your’s was rested upon her own. “Barb,” you cooed, and she would smile softly upon hearing your voice, before glancing up at you whilst her eyes would begin to glint, and heart would begin to race blissfully alongside your’s.

“Yeah?” She answered in a soft, and light voice, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst you found yourself gradually getting lost within her stunning icy blue eyes.

You would then begin to stammer whilst blood rushed to your cheeks, prompting her to smirk up at you whilst Gloria would smile warmly whilst she listened to you both, and would occasionally look in the mirror when she found her car stuck at the traffic lights; she found herself recalling how she and her husband had been together, a few years ago, now, and would hope that it would always be the same for you both; that you’d always be like this together - so in love, and content to be together. That wasn’t to say that Gloria didn’t enjoy her husband’s company; she loved it, but hadn’t been able to spend much time with him recently with things at work becoming more stressful. Gloria would then subconsciously reach over, and intertwine the fingers of her left hand with the fingers of her husband’s right hand, prompting him to smile lovingly over at her whilst she smiled warmly back at him, glad to find that she would be able to spend more time with him, now, at least.

“I have a confession to make,” you managed, though you were flustered, and Barbra would lift an eyebrow, intrigued as to what you were about to tell her, “I - erm-.. well..” You would then lean down a little, flustering her whilst she found herself forgetting how to breathe, silently begging you to kiss her as your lips were close to her’s - close enough for her to brush her lips blissfully against your’s, prompting you to appear flustered again whilst a whimper would fight to escape your lips. “I’m madly in love with you,” you mustered, your voice briefly trembling, and close to a whisper, and Barbra would begin to feel warm and fuzzy whilst she beamed up at you, and would then lean forward to delicately connect her lips to your’s, prompting you to instantly melt into the kiss whilst you wrapped your arms around her waist, and would affectionately connect your forehead to her’s.

“Stop,” Sasha whined, evidently feeling uncomfortable having to sit with you both whilst you were being all lovey-dovey together, and you both couldn’t help, but laugh alongside Gloria whilst she listened again, and would occasionally glance back at you three again.

“What’s up?” Barbra inquired, as if she didn’t know, whilst she fought hard to fight back a grin, amused by Sasha’s reaction to you and her kissing next to her.

“There’s no way in Hell that I’m gonna be spending the rest of this journey listening to you both smooching,” she answered, and you would giggle again alongside Barbra whilst you played with her hair subconsciously using your left hand.

“Fine, we’ll stop, for now,” you gave in, “would that make you feel better?”

“Yes,” Sasha expressed, and you would grin, before resting your head comfortably on top of Barbra’s again whilst she would draw circles on your right arm using her right thumb, and count the cars passing by the right window to try and distract herself from her current desire to kiss you again for Sasha’s sake. “Good - stay like that.”

“Give them a break, Sasha,” Gloria remarked between fits of laughter, and Sasha would grin, after rolling her eyes at the suggestion, “can’t you see that they can’t get enough of each other?”

“First of all, ew,” Sasha replied, only prompting further giggles from the three of you, “second of all - I’m tryna focus, and remember all of my lines - can I rehearse with you guys? Just - really quickly?”

“Of course you can,” Gloria reassured her, “just don’t overwork yourself too much before the performance, okay? Otherwise you probably will end up forgetting your lines.”

“Sure, whatever,” she responded absentmindedly, before beginning to rehearse her lines as best she could from memory until you all finally arrived at her school, and would be able to get seated whilst Sasha and her classmates prepared to begin the play.

🜚

Though you tried to, you found you couldn’t stay settled whilst the play went on; you’d been set on edge again upon noticing that your mother had entered the hall, and would anxiously watch whilst she drew closer to you and the others, only to grin over at you as if she’d won against you, now that she’d found you again, and then pass by you to sit a few seats away from you. You would instantly tense up, feeling that she was occasionally glaring over at you, as if she were waiting to strike, and to steal you back so she and the other members of your family could go on abusing and manipulating you again, alongside Bailey.

Shit. Bailey. The reminder of her would prompt your blood to begin running cold - she was still at Gloria’s mother’s house, and you feared now that maybe your ex had got the place surrounded with your brother and father, if they’d not already kidnapped her, somehow, terrifying you. You then found yourself beginning to feel sick, and dizzy whilst you thought about what they could be, or had already done to her, prompting you to suddenly get up, and to stagger out of the room, Barbra hastily following behind you; she was worried about you, whilst you would silently beg her not to follow you, worried about her possibly getting hurt by your mother who you doubted would still be in her seat, after you’d left, and you were right - she had followed, but was keeping her distance, no intention to strike yet whilst you weren’t alone; she was outnumbered with Barbra insisting upon staying by your side whilst you were in this state, afraid of what might happen to you if she left you alone like this, not that she wanted to leave you alone, at all, finding herself always comforted whenever you were with her; always content, as if she were meant to be stuck to your side.

“Y/n, what’s wrong-?” Barbra inquired breathlessly whilst she wrapped her arms around your waist, stopping you from getting any further once you’d both rushed outside of Sasha’s school building. “Hey,” she cooed, whilst appearing worried again, noticing that you had begun to cry whilst you leaned heavily against her as if you were about to pass out, your eyelids growing to be unnaturally heavy. “Y/n, t-talk to me,” she begged, “please, I - I’m scared, I - just tell me you’re okay, please!”

You would nod faintly, whilst wincing as if you were in pain. “I’m-..” You would whimper barely audibly, panicking over Bailey again. “I’m okay, but - B-Bailey-.. Bailey’s-.. she’s in trouble; she could be in trouble-”

“What?” Barbra interjected weakly, before she carefully turned you around to face her whilst she held you at arm’s length, her eyes wide, and full of fear. “Y-Y/n, what - what do you mean? What’s wrong with Bailey? Y-You don’t think that Jack could get to her, do you? I’m sure he wouldn’t try,” she tried to reassure you as well as herself, “s-she’s safe with Gloria’s mum, don’t worry - d’you wanna go back inside, now?”

“I feel sick,” you whispered shakily, “b-but it’s probably just - just the alcohol poisoning again.. I-.. I’m gonna head back home; I don’t wanna ruin Sasha’s big moment-”

“No,” Barbra whined, “you can’t leave now; I wouldn’t be able to go with you - I promised Sasha I’d be here as a source of comfort, and she’s probably already worried if she’s noticed I’m not inside anymore.”

“Don’t worry, Barbie,” you cooed in a strained manner, trying to act as if you were stable when really you were verging on breaking down, and possibly falling unconscious; you felt so dizzy, faint, and weak, subconsciously leaning heavily against her again whilst she wrapped her arms around your waist, easing you closer to her so she could affectionately connect her forehead to your’s whilst she tried not to panic, worried about what might happen to you if she let you go back home alone, but at the same time she wanted to trust that you would be okay; that you wouldn’t let anything happen, or do anything to yourself on purpose, and that you’d call her if things ended up going wrong, no matter how much she hoped against hope that you would be safe. “I’ll be fine,” you managed, “I-.. I know I will, just-.. stay here, please, a-and - and watch the play for me; I want you to enjoy it, a-and to be here for Sasha.”

“But-”

“Please, Barb,” you pleaded, “I don’t wanna ruin it for you and the others b-by being sick, or - or whatever.. and it’ll give me the opportunity to check on Bailey on the way back home - I won’t take her back yet ‘cause I don’t want her to see me like this, and Gloria’s mother would probably like to have some more time with her, so-..”

“Would it really make you happy - me letting you go back home w-without me, right now?” She asked, and you would hesitate, before nodding gravely. “Okay,” she replied gently, before smiling lovingly over at you, and lifting her right hand up to your left cheek, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to forget how to breathe, for a moment, “just-.. be careful, please - and don’t forget to call me if - if anything happens, okay?”

“I won’t forget,” you reassured her, “but nothing will happen, s-so I won’t have to - well.. it’ll be hard not to because.. I’m gonna miss you, Barbie, a-and will probably get the temptation to call you just to hear your voice, but-.. Barb.. p-promise me you’ll call me when you’re on your way back; I wanna know so I can get ready to spoil you again when I feel better, and when to set up the gift I got for Sasha for - for doing so well recently at school.”

“I’ll let you know, I promise,” she replied, and you would then timidly lean closer to delicately connect your lips to her’s, and she would instantly melt into the kiss.

“You know I would stay, right? If - If I felt-.. y’know.. better?” You inquired nervously, worried about what she might be currently thinking about you as a result of your decision to return home early.

“I know,” she answered, “of course I do, I just-.. I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you, too,” you returned dejectedly, wishing you could have done things differently, before you’d found yourself being burdened by alcohol poisoning; you hated what you were doing to her, and the others, and hated yourself for allowing what your family had previously done to you to affect you like they had, “but.. we’re gonna spend more time together soon, I promise; things are gonna get better for us; a-all of us - I’m gonna make sure of that because I know I can, y-you’ll see; I love you so much, Barb.”

“I love you, too,” she cooed, and you would appear flustered, for a moment, before you leaned forward to kiss her again, and would wrap your arms around her blissfully, “s-see you later?”

“See you later,” you mustered faintly, though you wished you could live within her embrace forever, and Barbra would reluctantly let you go, before dragging herself back up to the entrance of Sasha’s school, waving back at you, and disappearing inside. You would draw in a shaky breath, before stuffing your hands into the pockets of your jacket, and dragging yourself away from the building in the direction of the bar; you couldn’t resist the idea - right now - of trying to extinguish the excruciating pain you were currently experiencing due to the reminder of how your family were still out to get you and Bailey whom you found you couldn’t even muster up the courage to properly take care of after you’d been constantly abused by your family, and your ex, reassuring yourself that Bailey would be more than safe with Gloria’s mother, and that you would be able to stop yourself from drinking more than one pint of Whiskey, but of course this wouldn’t end up being the case; you would end up drinking more and more until you were kicked out by the owner of the establishment, and though you tried to continue drinking at the Primroses bar you were currently working at, your boss would turn you away, seeing that you had already had more than enough, forcing you to return home earlier than you had been intending to, by which time Barbra and the others were already on their way back, and your phone had run out of charge so you couldn’t be made aware of their approaching return home; they’d find you in the state that you had been promising you wouldn’t ever be in again, and you further despised yourself for it as soon as your gaze would fall upon the shocked, hurt, and worried expressions on each of their faces - it was obvious: you’d let them all down again, and you hoped they’d never forgive you for it, this time.

|

Whilst they would all be standing by the door for a brief moment, you would find yourself appearing terrified of what they might think of you, though you hoped they would despise you for giving in again like you evidently had, and also found yourself terrified yet again of the possibility of losing Barbra, who was tearful, and evidently still in shock even whilst Sasha had decided to speak up first. “So this is what you left for? You’d rather come back home and drink yourself to death than stay and watch me in the school play?” She assumed, and you would falter, a pained expression on your face whilst tears began to stream slowly down your pale cheeks; you’d never intended for them to find you like this, and had been hoping that you would be able to sober up enough in time. “Thanks,” she spat, before rushing up the stairs before you could try and explain yourself.

“Hey,” Gloria spoke up quietly to her husband stood beside her, “go and make sure she’s okay, and I’ll be up there in a bit to check on you both.”

“See you in a bit,” he replied, and she would return the phrase, before he went up the stairs to check on Sasha, leaving you alone with Gloria and a now tearful Barbra; she couldn’t believe you’d let this happen without calling her, and telling her that you needed her beside you whilst you were struggling.

“You promised,” Barbra managed weakly, her voice briefly trembling whilst she did, and Gloria would frown, looking over at her whilst you would stare down at your too pale and shaky hands, “why didn’t you call me? You promised me you’d call me if - if you were struggling, o-or-”

Because she could see that Barbra was on the verge of breaking down, Gloria would try and provide comfort to her by rubbing her back using her left hand. “Hey, Barb,” she interjected gently, “maybe you should go upstairs for a bit whilst I talk to her?”

“No,” Barbra whined, and Gloria would nod gravely, expecting this reaction from her, “I’m not leaving her side whilst she’s like this-”

“Barb,” you mustered feebly, and she would glance back at you, her heart skipping a beat upon hearing your voice, “you-.. you don’t need to worry about me, okay? I’m fine-”

“You’re not fine,” she contradicted dejectedly, wishing you’d stop lying to her like you had been recently, “you look like you’re about to pass out, Y/n, h-how is that you looking like you’re fine?” You would give in, knowing that she was right; you were feeling much too weak and numb to protest any further than you had previously tried to. “Why are you even awake right now? You should be trying to sleep this off,” she scolded gently, before sitting on the edge of the sofa, and cradling you close to her protectively whilst she stroked your hair with her left hand.

“I can’t sleep without you,” you admitted, your voice close to a whisper whilst you rested your head on her chest comfortably, and she would frown, realising, “I was-.. I was scared. As soon as I got home, I-.. I thought someone was.. was watching me, a-and.. I was too scared, I’m so sorry-”

“It’s okay,” she cooed, “I get it, Y/n, it’s just.. you need to stop drinking, b-because if you don’t-.. I - I could.. c-could lose you, and-..”

“You’re never gonna lose me,” you tried to reassure her, and she would hope against hope that you were right whilst you buried your face into the crook of her neck, feeling much better already, but it would still be painful to be reminded of how you’d let Barbra, Sasha, and Bailey all down yet again, “I promise.”

“Do you want me to help you get her up to bed?” Gloria inquired, noticing that you appeared sleepy whilst you leaned heavily against Barbra as if you were already beginning to drift off now that you were being held in the safety and warmth of her embrace again.

“It’s okay - we’ll probably sleep down here tonight,” she reassured, and Gloria would nod, before smiling over at you both again whilst she silently hoped that things would improve for you both soon, and hoped that you’d find a way to stop excessively drinking the way you had been recently.

“Well - you know where we are if you need us,” Gloria replied, and Barbra would nod whilst she smiled her thanks over at Gloria, and would carefully move so that she was laid down beside you, still cradling you close to her whilst you melted further into her embrace, feeling more content and safe than you ever had before, “the blankets are all there behind you if you want them - use as many as you like.”

“Thank you,” Barbra responded whilst she carefully pulled one of the blankets down so she could cover you both with it, “we’ll see you in the morning, right?”

“Yeah - I don’t have to leave too early for work tomorrow,” she stated, “see you in the morning, and I hope you feel better by then, Y/n - take it easy, okay?”

“G-Gloria, wait,” you managed, and she would stop by the staircase, before looking over at you and nodding to show you that she was listening, “I’m - I’m so sorry - I-.. I should have stayed with you guys, I know, I just-.. I panicked, a-and.. I promise I’ll talk to Sasha in the morning before she leaves for school.”

“She’ll appreciate that, I’m sure,” Gloria corroborated, and you would nod faintly whilst you lowered your head back down a little to rest it on Barbra’s left shoulder again, “but don’t apologise; I know it’s hard, and that it takes a lot of time and strength to recover which I’m sure you will, soon; you’re strong, Y/n, you can get through this - you know that, don’t you?” You would hesitate, before forcing a nod, though you doubted you were strong enough to get through it: to rid yourself of your alcohol addiction, and the alcohol poisoning which was currently burdening you more and more with every passing day you found yourself living through somehow. “Good,” she replied, glad, whilst beaming over at you both, “see you in the morning!”

“See you in the morning,” you returned sleepily whilst Barbra held you at arm’s length for a moment, appearing hopeful, and you would smile warmly up at her subconsciously whilst you found yourself getting lost within her stunning icy blue eyes, and found yourself admiring her, wondering what you’d done to deserve someone as perfect as her, when you had been brought up to believe that you were nothing, compared to everyone else; that you could never amount to anything, and could never be loved by anyone.

“She’s right, you know,” she cooed, “you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Y/n, a-and I’m not just saying that; the things you’ve gone through..”

“They’ve made me weak, and pathetic,” you murmured, prompting Barbra’s heart to sink with her smile; she hated hearing you putting yourself down like you just had, “I can barely get by without a drink, and let’s face it - without you, I’m nothing, and I’d never be able to go on living if you weren’t by my side.”

“That’s not true,” she contradicted, before affectionately connecting her forehead to your’s to try and provide comfort to you, soothing you instantly whilst you let your eyes close to revel in the moment, and being so close to her like you currently were, “besides - you’ll never have to worry about losing me, because you never will; I’m always gonna be here with you, Y/n - I love you; you’re my soulmate, and that’s never gonna change, I promise.”

You would appear flustered, your heart beginning to race blissfully alongside her’s whilst you began to stammer, and blood would rush to your cheeks. “G-Good, because - you-.. you’re my soulmate, too, a-and you always will be, n-no matter what - I love you so much.”

She would then beam over at you whilst her eyes would begin to glint a little, prompting you to forget how to breathe for a moment; you couldn’t believe someone beautiful like her was truly here with you, loving you the way you love her, and she would shyly lean closer to you subconsciously whilst she found herself experiencing the same thoughts as you currently were. “I’m glad,” she replied, before delicately connecting her lips to your’s, and you would instantly melt into the kiss, “g-goodnight, Snuggles.”

“Goodnight, Barbie,” you returned whilst you smiled lovingly over at her, before you allowed your eyelids to flutter shut alongside her’s, hoping that you’d be able to make it up to Sasha tomorrow, no matter how hung over you might end up being come the morning.

🜚

Of course you were hungover - you’d had many a pint of whiskey yesterday, and you would groan upon stirring with a pounding headache, but Barbra had made sure to get up before you so she could - carefully, without waking you up too early - prepare a glass of water, and a couple of Anadin tablets for you, setting them both down on the table just in time; you’d begun to wake up as soon as she’d re-entered the living room, finding you could sense it: that Barbra had left your side, leaving you feeling empty, until you noticed her stood a few paces away from you by the living room coffee table with the water and tablets. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” she cooed quietly, and you would smile lovingly up at her subconsciously whilst you stretched, and would slowly sit up, “Anadin?”

“Yes, please,” you answered, and she would carefully pass them to you, before offering you the water which you would also accept whilst you smiled your thanks up at her, and would set the pills on your tongue before you downed the water alongside them, “you’re too good to me, Barb - you know that, right?”

She would smirk over at you, amused, before setting the glass back down on the table for you, wanting to make sure that you had recovered a bit more before you began to move anymore than you had already. “I think it’s you who is too good to me,” she expressed, surprising you, before she sat down beside you and would carefully hook her right arm around your waist whilst she rested her head on your left shoulder affectionately. “I just love spoiling, and taking care of you,” she mused, flustering herself a little whilst her cheeks began to heat up a little, prompting you to grin over at her upon noticing that she’d begun to blush.

“You’re adorable, Barbie,” you remarked, flustering her even more whilst she began to stammer a little, and her cheeks would grow even redder, “I love you so much.”

“I - I love you, t-too,” she mustered, before leaning closer to you so she could delicately connect her lips to your’s, until Sasha entered the room, Gloria following behind her; Sasha had evidently just got ready for school - you must have woken up too late for Breakfast, when you had been planning on trying to talk to Sasha, and to apologise to her.

You would find yourself panicking a little, getting up all of a sudden in an unstable manner whilst you heavily leaned against the arm of the sofa, and Barbra would appear worried whilst she got up beside you, and would subconsciously try to stabilise you by hooking her right arm around your waist again to ease your body closer to her’s in the best way possible, soothing you instantly whilst Sasha would subconsciously grimace over at you, hesitantly stopping at the door upon being instructed gently to do so by her mother. “H-Hey, Sash,” you managed, and Sasha would scowl, evidently still mad at you for what had happened yesterday with you leaving her school during the play she had been the main role in only to find that you’d evidently been drinking heavily and weren’t simply ‘sick’ like Barbra had told them that you were after you’d gone, and she had rejoined them inside.

“How dare you,” Sasha hissed, “it’s Sasha to you; you don’t deserve to give me a nickname, after yesterday-”

“Sasha, honey,” Gloria interjected gently, but Sasha would then walk out, and slam the door shut behind her whilst you would appear disheartened, a pained expression on your face whilst Barbra tried to comfort you by rubbing your back with her right hand whilst she used her left hand to play with your hair, soothing you a little again, but the excruciating pain would remain; you hated proving to be a disappointment like you always had, whilst you were living with your ex family, and hated that you’d ruined your friendship with Sasha by giving into your alcohol addiction yet again.

“Well, this is awkward,” you mustered, your voice briefly cracking a little whilst you did; you were trying not to cry, prompting Barbra’s heart to sink; she hated seeing you like this, and wished she could try and do more to help you, somehow.

“Don’t worry,” Gloria spoke up, “she’ll come around soon, I’m sure she will, just - try again later, and see how she reacts, then, okay?” You would nod gravely, before glancing down at the sofa again; you hated crying in front of them, and felt as if you couldn’t let it happen; you’d already made yourself look pathetic enough. “I’ll see you guys later,” she concluded, “shouldn’t be too late at work today.”

“See you later,” you both replied, and Gloria would then open the front door so she could go out, and close it behind her again to drive Sasha to school, and then drive down to work after she had successfully done so.

“Hey,” Barbra cooed, and you would tense up a little, a couple of stray tears managing to escape your eyes whilst you did, “are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I just - I’m okay,” you answered, before quickly wiping away the tears that had managed to escape, and forcing a smile over at her, but she could see through it; she could see that you were upset, and wouldn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around you to try and provide comfort to you, and you would instantly melt into her embrace, before you returned it when you felt able to do so whilst you cried quietly into her left shoulder.

“Don’t - Don’t ever do that again,” she whined whilst she rested her head comfortably on top of your’s, and would stroke your hair with her right hand, somehow soothing you even more whilst your heart would begin to blissfully race alongside her’s again.

You would appear panicked again, wondering what you had done to upset her whilst you would hold her at arm’s length, freely letting your remaining tears escape your eyes, now, as you were no longer worried about them, and only worried about what you had done to her; terrified of possibly losing her, somehow, like you always had been never since you’d first met her outside of the Gynaecologist’s office. Barbra would falter when she noticed that you were crying, a hurt look on her face whilst she used the thumb of her right hand to delicately brush away every tear which had managed, and were managing to escape your eyes; she didn’t like to think that you were trying to hide that you were crying from her, and also hated to imagine how much pain you were currently in as a result of you trying to keep your emotions to yourself, instead of talking to her about them.

“What - What did I do? I’m so sorry, Barb, I - whatever I did, I-.. I love you so much,” you expressed shakily whilst you affectionately connected your forehead to her’s, and she would then find herself beginning to cry alongside you; it was paining her to see you in this state, “please don’t - don’t leave me - I’m so sorry-”

“I’m not leaving you,” she reassured, before lifting her right hand up to your left cheek, and you would subconsciously melt into her touch whilst your gaze blissfully locked with her’s in the best way possible, prompting your heart to skip a beat, and you to forget how to breathe for a moment whilst you found yourself admiring her again, “I just - I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide being in pain from me l-like you were earlier; you know you can tell me anything, right?

“I know, I - I just - I don’t wanna burden you with - with everything that’s going on in my head,” you admitted, your voice weak, and close to a whisper; you were afraid of what she might think of you, again, and wondered if she thought you to be crazy, but she could never think anything like that about you; she loved you too much to, and knew that it would pain her to think of such possibilities.

“You could never burden me with anything, Y/n,” she claimed, “I think all that’s going on inside your mind is beautiful, like you are, so talk to me, please, and we can get Bailey back later.” You would hesitate, before nodding, and sitting back down on the sofa. “Good,” she continued, “I’ll just go and call Gloria’s mother to tell her that we’ll be a little later today, and then I’ll come back and we can talk about what’s going on, okay?” You would nod again, and she would then rush into the kitchen to grab her phone to call Gloria’s mother, and once she’d finished she would then return to you, and you would tell her about what had happened yesterday with you seeing your mother during Sasha’s play.

🜚

Once you’d told her everything about what had happened yesterday, she would appear nervous, as well as a little crestfallen; she couldn’t believe that this was happening again, after your family had gone quiet for a while; they’d left you all alone as if they were planning something, and this thought would result in her blood running cold - what were they going to do, and who to? She feared only what they might do to you and Bailey, and not about what they might do to her as she found she couldn’t worry about herself, longing only to keep you both safe, and happy; that had been her goal ever since she’d first met you, and then found out about you being pregnant with Bailey.

“They’re gonna try and take you and Bailey away, aren’t they?” She mused faintly, a pained expression on her face whilst tears began to cloud her vision, and you would falter, before bowing your head for a moment, until you felt able to continue, holding her hands in your too pale ones whilst your gaze searched her’s for any discomfort that might suggest that she was angry at you for hiding this from her, but you couldn’t find any - all you could tell was that she was worried, and upset about what might be to come in terms of what your family might end up trying to do.

“They won’t hurt you, or Bailey; I won’t let them-”

“Y/n,” she interjected weakly, her voice briefly trembling whilst tears began to run slowly down her cheeks, prompting your heart to sink whilst a pang of sadness hit you; you hated seeing her upset like she was, now, and wished - now - that you hadn’t told her, but at the same time you knew it was good that you had because she had a right to know, and you didn’t want her to go on worrying about the silence from your family after she’d dropped Jack as a friend completely, “that - that wasn’t what I asked - I’m right, aren’t I? They’re-.. They’re planning on stealing you and Bailey back, aren’t they?”

You would draw in a shaky breath, before gently squeezing her hands to try and provide comfort to her, but she would only appear more terrified than she had been, before; she’d taken your action as a possible future goodbye, and it pained her more than she thought it ever could. “Knowing them, that’s-.. that’s most likely their plan,” you mustered, “I’m so sorry, Barbie-”

“They can’t,” she murmured shakily, evidently on the verge of breaking down whilst a strained sob threatened to escape her lips, “I won’t let them; I can’t let them-” The sob would then manage to escape her lips, giving way to others whilst you tried to provide comfort to her by wrapping your arms around her, prompting her to instantly melt into your embrace whilst she cried, and sobbed uncontrollably into the crook of your neck, clinging to your shoulders as if she were afraid of you possibly disappearing if she let go of you.

“They won’t get to us,” you tried to reassure her, “I promise; you’ll never lose us, Barb, and I’ll never let them try and hurt you, too.”

“I don’t care if they hurt me, I - I just-.. I-.. If they hurt you and Bailey-”

“We’re gonna be okay; all of us will,” you insisted whilst trying to fight back tears alongside her; whilst you wondered - again - why she was still bothering with you, after you’d put her through so much recently, and were now putting her possibly in danger with your family, “we’re always gonna be together, n-no matter what, I can feel that we will - j-just promise me that you trust me; that you know that they’re never gonna separate us.”

“I trust you,” she began, before affectionately connecting her forehead to your’s, “and I know that they’re never, ever going to separate us, I promise - it’s us against the world, right?”

“Always,” you mustered, before you leaned forward to delicately connect your lips to her’s, and she would instantly melt into the kiss.

Once it had sadly ended, she would glance up at the newly installed clock Gloria had got her husband to put up a few days ago, now, and then appear flustered at the idea she currently had in mind, and you would lift an eyebrow whilst you smirked over at her, guessing immediately what she angling to do with you; you knew her, and her facial expressions all too well, now, and could tell that she had begun to blush as she was trying to hide her face from you, for a brief moment, until she felt able to glance up at you again, proving your previous assumptions right; she was blushing, and at first seemed to be silently begging you to make the next move, but you would instead fluster her further by appearing puzzled by what she was trying to do, forcing her to make the move, instead - something she was also still trying to get used to as it was relatively new to her, though you’d both already fooled around a few times, before; it seemed as if she’d never get used to it, but she revelled in the idea of it all the same.

“I think we have some time left, before we need to - to leave and get Bailey back from Gloria’s mum’s house - w-would you maybe wanna-.. I don’t know.. Have some fun? J-Just for a little while?” She suggested, her voice close to a whisper, and you would grin over at her, amused, before acting as if you were thinking about it to prompt her to grow more desperate, and to appear worried about you possibly rejecting her suggestion - if only she knew that you weren’t only addicted to alcohol with you also being addicted to her, and that you could never pass up an opportunity like the one she’d just blissfully posed upon you. “Please,” she begged, and you would give in, unable to go on ‘thinking’ about it any longer.

“I - I’d love to,” you expressed whilst you, too, began to appear flustered after she’d inched closer to you, and she would smirk, muster an ‘I’m glad’, before leading you out of the room, up the stairs, and into your and her bedroom.

🜚

That same night, you would be shocked to receive a text on your phone from an unknown number saying: ‘look out your window.’ You would nervously glance over at Barbra who was currently laying beside you, sleeping peacefully as if there was nothing wrong, prompting your heart to melt a little; she was so innocent, compared to you, and you feared what might happen to her, tonight, if she ended up losing both you and Bailey, somehow, whether that was by her believing you had up and left with her, or by her seeing that you’d been forced to return with your family - of course this would only be down to whether your family decided that this was what they wanted to happen, and judging from yourself receiving this message tonight, you would find out what exactly they wished to happen quite soon, as long as you complied.

At first, you would consider remaining in bed with her, until you got yet another message from that same unknown number saying: ‘We’d hate for something to have to happen to your new partner, wouldn’t we? No point getting her involved, is there? Come on - look outside, and wave.’ Upon the mention of Barbra, your blood would run cold; they were threatening her life, and you wouldn’t hesitate, now, getting up out of the bed, and looking out the window to find that Jack was outside stood by his dark car, smirking up at you menacingly; the rest of them must be inside the car, for ‘just in case’ purposes. You would scowl down at him, and he would lift an eyebrow, before looking down at his phone again to punch at the keypad some more, before hitting the send button, and you would begrudgingly look down at your phone, wincing after you’d read the single word: ‘wave.’ You would force a sneer, before waving down at him, and he would chuckle as if the situation were normal - deranged; he had to be utterly deranged.

Another message: ‘now come down, quietly - I wanna ask you something, and I can’t have any of your new friends finding me here.’

You would hesitantly glance back at Barbra again whilst tears began to blur your vision again; you were terrified that maybe this would be the last time you’d ever see her, again, and you couldn’t take it as a lump would form in your throat whilst the tears would begin to stream down your cheeks; you couldn’t imagine your life without her in it, but hoped that maybe - if this truly did prove to be the last time that your gaze was being blessed by her presence - she would be happy if you disappeared, allowing her to find someone better for her; someone who could make her happier more than you ever had, before; someone who wasn’t a nobody, compared to someone perfect - no, more than perfect - like her.

Then you would look down to find that you’d subconsciously typed the word ‘fine’ already on the keypad of your phone, before you proceeded to add: ‘as long as you promise me that you will never hurt Barbra; only me, like you used to.’

‘Your little Barbie is of no use to me, or the others - just come down; I promise that none of us have the intention of hurting her, too,’ he reassured, and you would nod gravely, before replying with the words: ‘good - I’ll be down soon.’ You would then quietly walk up to Barbra whilst you fought back the sobs fighting to escape you; you longed to break down, and cradle her body close to your’s, but you knew that you’d wake her up, if you did, and you knew you couldn’t let that happen, as they would no doubt hurt her, too, if she woke up, and tried to protect you from whatever Jack, or the other members of your family soon planned to do to you.

“I’m so sorry, Barb,” you whispered shakily whilst you stood at her side of the bed, admiring tearfully her sleeping figure, as if you were still laying asleep beside her, and all was well, “I love you so much.” You would then lean down carefully, your right hand rested upon the bedside table to support you so you could delicately press a kiss to her right cheek, before you drew in a shaky breath, trying to remember as best you could her soft skin for fear of never being able to feel it again whilst you slowly dragged yourself toward the door of your and her bedroom so you could silently slip through it, and down the stairs to get to the front door of Gloria and her husband’s home.

🜚

“You wanted to ask me some dumb question?” You spoke up whilst you slowly walked toward Jack after you’d closed the front door behind you as quietly as you possibly could, stopping a few paces away from him before you could get too close, wary of the possibility that he might end up attacking you, if you weren’t careful, or sharp enough to react to however he might try and strike at you.

“I don’t know why you’re the one with an attitude, after you decided to up and leave like that,” he remarked, and you would scowl over at him whilst anger rushed through your veins, and your hands would shake a little; you couldn’t believe him; that he thought he wasn’t the one in the wrong, like he and your family arguably were after everything they’d done to you before you’d fled from them.

“It’s not like you gave me much of a choice,” you retorted, and he would scoff, “you are the one who raped me, remember? Got me pregnant when I really didn’t want to be? And you abused me alongside the other assholes who I’m unfortunate enough to have to call my parents-”

“Careful,” he warned, grimacing over at you, “I never raped you, nor did I abuse you-”

“Liar-!” You hissed, and he would fight back a smirk whilst he slowly inched closer to you as if this situation were amusing, and pleasing to him; he’d been missing abusing, and gaslighting you like he currently was, and had evidently been intending to since he’d arrived.

“That’s a shame; you’re still holding these delusions of me and your own parents, but don’t worry - you’re in safe hands; maybe we’ll have to take you to one of those mental institutions, they’ll know how to take care of you-”

“Screw you!” You cried, before throwing a punch at his face, but he would see this coming, and manage to grab hold of your right wrist, allowing him to slap you across the face, shocking you, and whilst you were in your temporarily shocked state, he would gingerly shove you strong enough to knock you down onto your back, prompting you to groan and whimper a little whilst you tried to get up, but pain was radiating throughout your body, making it difficult - you’d also hit the back of your head, and were beginning to feel dizzy and nauseous whilst a warm liquid seemed to be leaking out into the ground; you were bleeding, and had evidently had the back of your head cut open as a result of the fall, but luckily the cut wasn’t that long, and not deep enough to be immediately fatal.

“Don’t tell me,” he began whilst he stood over your shaky body; you were evidently still in shock, and were terrified, silently begging for someone to save you, but at the same time you hoped that they wouldn’t for fear of what Jack and your abusive family might end up doing to Barbra, Bailey and the others who were currently still inside, and hopefully still asleep as if nothing was going on outside, “you fell over again - you ought to be more careful; for God’s sake, Y/n, I tell you this all the time.”

“You’re gonna regret this,” you rasped, finding it hard to breathe in your currently weak, faint, and nauseous state, “I swear - w-when - when you finally kill me, the-.. the police - they’ll catch you-”

“As if they’d care about a nobody’s disappearance,” he sneered, before delivering a rough blow to your left side using his right foot, prompting you to cry out in pain, unable to stop it, “what did you break, this time? You’re pathetic - you can’t even go down a few lousy steps without falling, and getting yourself hurt. That’s what happened, right? You fell down the stairs?”

You would nod hastily, though it pained you to do so. “I - I fell down the stairs,” you uttered through gritted teeth, and he would grin down at you, before delivering one last kick to your side, and dragging you painfully back toward the front door of Gloria and her husband’s home.

“Now go inside, and try and be convincing,” he instructed, and you would nod again faintly, before forcing yourself up to your feet with the support of the beams - the foundation of the porch, “we’ll be back soon - you won’t be expecting us, but isn’t that exciting? See you again soon, you little rat.” Jack would then rush back toward his car, and speedily take off within it just in case anyone had already woken up, and were nosing around to find out what had happened.

You would then force yourself up the stairs of the porch though your side was burning, and head was throbbing; you would fall unconscious soon, and perhaps even have your life slip away from you, a thought which would prompt you to falter - if you were to die, would you really want Barbra and the others to see you like that? Like this, even? “I can’t,” you whispered shakily, before carefully walking back down the porch steps, and ironically you would end up struggling down them, and even tripping up on the second to last one, prompting you to fall forward, and to be knocked out as soon as you’d hit the rough ground of the concrete pathway yet again, only to then be found, and taken to the hospital shortly after by Gloria and Barbra who had been awoken by Sasha claiming that she’d heard a struggle outside, and guessed that you were hurt because she’d heard you cry out as if you were in pain, or had just been wounded, but she’d not seen exactly what had really happened to you; not seen Jack hurting you, allowing you to further try and protect Barbra to the best of your ability once you’d begun to stir, and to recall the events of the last few hours.

🜚

As soon as you’d begun to stir awake, Barbra would sit up, evidently elated and relieved to see that you were okay, before she held your right hand in her left one as she’d already been holding - ever since she and Gloria had got you to the hospital, and you’d been treated - your left one in her own right one. You were both currently alone as Gloria had had to leave to collect Gloria from home to bring her to the hospital to see you once you’d been patched up, as she’d been prying - before they’d left - to get them to allow her to go with them to make sure that you were okay, surprisingly enough, after what had happened yesterday with you leaving her school play early, and drinking heavily.

“Hey, Snuggles,” she cooed gently, and you would appear to relax instantly upon hearing her voice as you’d been previously appearing to be frightened, and a little distressed whilst you looked around the intensely bright room, your vision a little blurrier than usual, “I’m here - you’re safe, now, I promise.”

As soon as your vision had cleared, and you could now see her properly, you would beam warmly over at her whilst your eyes began to glint, and she would instantly smile lovingly back at you whilst she began to feel warm and fuzzy, and her heart had begun to race blissfully alongside your’s. “Hey, Barbie,” you returned faintly, and she would lean forward a little to delicately connect her lips to your’s, prompting you to instantly melt into the kiss whilst you both wrapped your arms around one another, glad to be within each other’s embrace again after you’d both been worried that maybe you wouldn’t see each other again after what had previously occurred.

“I thought I lost you for a second,” she admitted shakily, her voice close to a whisper, and you would falter, a pained expression on your face whilst you affectionately connected your forehead to her’s to try and provide comfort to her, “l-look, you-.. you don’t have to tell me what really happened out there, but-.. just.. those things that you said yesterday, and - and promised me - did you mean them?”

“With all that remains of my heart,” you answered, and she would express relief again, glad, “you’ll never lose me and Bailey, ever.”

“So you fought them?” She guessed, and you would hesitate, recalling how pathetic you’d been, allowing him to beat you like he had.

“I tried,” you mused, recalling how Jack had managed to evade being punched by you, “t-they - erm.. outnumbered me, of course, but..”

“Was Jack with them?” She pried, whilst grimacing, and you would wince; you knew that if you told her he was, she would confront him, and you couldn’t let her get hurt by them; couldn’t let her fight them for you as you knew you’d never be able to forgive yourself for letting her get hurt, when all you wanted for her was for her to be happy, and safe from them, believing only you deserved the pain your family and Jack had previously inflicted upon you.

“No,” you claimed, and she would appear doubtful, at first, wondering if you were simply trying to protect her, but she wanted to be sure, and knew that she wouldn’t really be able to confront him effectively if she had no evidence against him, “it - it was just-.. just my parents - don’t worry about them, Barb, I can’t let them hurt you, too-”

“You know I don’t care if they hurt me,” she interjected, “Y/n-”

“You might not,” you continued in a strained and crestfallen manner, “but I do. Please, just-.. promise me you won’t try and go against them, for me, if - if you ever see them, god forbid.”

She would think about it for a moment, evidently disappointed, but at the same time she didn’t want to upset you. “I won’t go against them, o-or try and confront them for you, I promise,” she replied, “but don’t worry so much about me, Y/n, because they’re never gonna hurt me, and I’m never gonna let them hurt you ever again, I swear; I should have been there for you last night-”

“No,” you whined, “you - you shouldn’t have, because-.. Barb, they-.. they threatened you.. they-”

“Even if they did-”

“I know; you don’t care, but-”

“You do,” she recalled, “l-look, baby, I-.. I’m gonna keep my promise, okay?” She would then lift her right hand up to your left cheek, and you would subconsciously melt into her soft touch whilst you got lost within her stunning icy blue eyes in the best way possible, wondering - like you had done ever since you’d first met her - why she was still bothering with you though her life was possibly in danger due to your abusive family’s plan to steal you back home with them, and Bailey. “But-.. you’re never gonna change my mind; I’m never gonna care if they hurt me; I’ll only ever worry about them hurting you and Bailey, and I swear I’ll never, ever let them get away with hurting you; I can’t,” she expressed, and you would reluctantly give in, knowing she wouldn’t change her mind, and let them take you and Bailey away, though you assumed she’d be better off, if they did.

“Then I guess there’s nothing left for me to do to try, but I’m never gonna change my mind, either; I’m never gonna let them hurt you, Barbie, ever,” you stated, certain of yourself, and Barbra would hesitantly nod, though she feared what might happen to you whilst you tried to protect her; whether you’d encourage them to take you away, and to leave, or take Bailey as well, or if you’d simply try and fight back against them to stay with her, in which case she worried you would get yourself hurt again, but she would try and quiet her mind by delicately connecting her lips to your’s again, and you would smile softly against her lips whilst your heart would somehow begin to race even faster, overwhelming you blissfully. Once the kiss had sadly ended, you would lift your right hand to play with her hair, soothing her instantly whilst she smiled sheepishly down at you, admiring you subconsciously; she couldn’t believe she’d found someone like you, believing you to be perfect whilst you continued to believe that you were nothing, compared to her. “I love you so much,” you blurted out, your voice briefly trembling whilst you did, and Barbra would grin, finding you adorable whilst you appeared flustered at yourself, and by the effect that she had had on you ever since you’d first met, and fallen deeply in love with her.

“I love you, too, Snuggles,” she returned, and would make to kiss you again, until her phone buzzed, and she would groan, before begrudgingly looking at it to find that she’d received a message from Gloria saying that she was close by, now, and Barbra would smile sadly over at you, “it’s Gloria; she’s almost here - I should go and meet her and Sasha downstairs so I can bring them up here.” You would realise, and manage a feeble smile up at her whilst she briefly connected her forehead to your’s again. “I’ll be back soon, I promise,” she concluded, before kissing you delicately again, and then dragging herself away from you whilst you watched her longingly, wishing you could go with her, but you still felt much too weak to, and knew the doctors would most likely disapprove of you moving too much; you’d not yet healed completely after Jack had assaulted you, and they were intending on keeping you in a little longer to make sure that you were back to normal, before they allowed you to go back home with Barbra and the others. “See you in a bit, Snuggles,” she stated, and you would force a smile, before nodding your head faintly.

“See you in a bit,” you returned, and Barbra would reluctantly leave the room, though she felt as if she should stay with you, trying to ignore the bad feeling she was currently getting whilst she continued down the hallway, and down the stairs to the lobby where she waited for Gloria and Sasha to arrive.

🜚

Whilst you awaited Barbra’s return, you would allow your eyes to close for a bit, but wouldn’t manage to get to sleep, finding you only felt safe and content enough to do so when Barbra was with you, which she currently wasn’t, still, so instead you would try and keep yourself calm by thinking about her and Bailey, and a soft smile would begin to play on your lips whilst you did; they were the best things that had ever happened to you, even though Bailey had been the result of Jack raping you.

As soon as you heard the door opening again, you would open your eyes whilst your heart would skip a beat; you assumed it was Barbra returning with Sasha and Gloria, but your blood would run cold as soon as your gaze fell upon the too familiar and distressing figure of your mother, prompting you to tense up whilst you found yourself beginning to fear what might happen if Barbra came back to find your mother in the room with you. “You,” you spat shakily through gritted teeth whilst she smirked, and would close the door, before she inched closer to you, and set down the undoubtedly fake flowers she’d bought for you as if she cared about you, and hadn’t beat you alongside your father and Jack with every opportunity that had been presented for them to do so, “how dare you-”

“How dare I?” She interrupted, and you would scowl over at her whilst she sat down where Barbra had previously been sitting beside you. “How dare you - my only child - for abandoning me, your father, and poor Jack like that-”

“Poor Jack? He raped me, mum-!” You hissed, and she would appear unperturbed by that fact, as if what he had done was normal, and not illegal in the slightest. “But you couldn’t care less, could you? You liked hurting me, and so did they, b-but I don’t care if you hurt me anymore; I can’t care,” you remarked, “just stay the hell away from my new family who care a great deal more about me than you assholes ever could.”

“New family? So you’ve already moved on from us?” She guessed, and you would nod without hesitation, not afraid of her anymore, and she would feign disappointment, though you knew she didn’t care, and would never allow yourself to feel guilty again for running away like you had a few times when you were quite a bit smaller than you were, now. “That’s a shame,” she continued, “you think very little of us, then - I’m assuming that lone blonde downstairs is who you’ve decided to hook up with, then? Maybe we could bring her back with us, too-”

“No!” You cried, not noticing Barbra at the door; she’d decided to hurriedly check up on you as Gloria had reported back again saying that she was stuck in traffic. “She’s - She’s just a friend-..” You would then falter upon hearing the door opening again, your gaze instantly falling upon Barbra who would appear shocked, a hurt look on her face after she’d heard what you had said, and guessed that you were talking about her after hearing your mother referring to her as a ‘lone blonde girl’ through the door, before she’d entered the room. Your heart would sink once you’d noticed the look on her face, and you would curse yourself for not noticing her, before; you hated upsetting her, but were simply trying to protect her as best you could, not wanting her to get hurt alongside you by your abusive ex family. “Barb, I-”

“We are not just friends,” Barbra contradicted, and you would wince, before staring down at your currently too pale and shaky hands, whilst your mother would grin over at you, and then look back at Barbra whilst she warily watched your mother, wondering who she was, and why she was with you, “who - who are you?”

Your mother would then get up, and you would try not to panic whilst you watched her, and Barbra would frown when she noticed the look on your face, guessing that she was related to you, and had also been abusing you, something which would prompt her to scowl over at your mother whilst she wondered how anyone could ever hurt you like she and your other ex family members had.

“I’m Y/n’s mother,” she began, and Barbra would realise; you had been trying to protect her again, and she would frown, wishing you’d stop worrying about her like you evidently still had been though she’d previously promised you she wouldn’t try and confront any of them - not yet, anyway, “it’s nice to finally meet you, er-..”

“Barbra,” she clarified, “my - my name is Barbra Handler.”

“What a nice name,” your mother remarked, “but I’ll be honest with you - you’re wasting your time with a girl like her; someone as pretty as you should be spending your time with someone more - elite, perhaps-”

Barbra would appear shocked, before grimacing, and shaking her head whilst you silently begged her to let your mother’s remark go, afraid that if she tried to defend you, she would get hurt alongside you. “That’s not true,” Barbra contradicted, and your mother would lift an eyebrow, appearing surprised that Barbra had dared to interrupt her like that, whilst you would appear crestfallen and as if your insides were collapsing; Barbra would be in more danger now, and this was far from what you’d wanted to happen, “you know - you clearly don’t know Y/n very well, n-not like I do; you see - s-she’s - kind, beautiful, and funny, just - the most perfect a-and amazing person you could ever meet - you’re just jealous of her, l-like Jack and her father probably are, too.”

Barbra would then glance over at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat whilst she smiled softly in your direction, surprising you; you’d been worried that maybe she was still upset with you for what you’d said once she’d entered the room, but she could never stay upset with you; she loved you too much to, and you couldn’t imagine how as you had always been made to believe that you were nothing, and therefore still thought that you were a nobody, compared to her, and this reminder would prompt your heart to sink again. You would force a smile back at her, before bowing your head again, prompting Barbra to begin worrying about you again; she could tell you were upset, and wished she could do more for you to try and make you happy again whilst she silently cursed your ex family, and your mother stood before her for making you the way that you were, and hurting you the way that they continuously had.

Your mother would then burst out laughing, before she shook her head whilst Barbra scowled over at her again. “Jealous? Really? Of her? No way,” she replied, whilst your vision would begin to cloud over with tears again, and a lump would form in your throat; you were being reminded of how worthless you’d always been made to feel; of all those comments similar to this one that your mother had shared with her friends in front of you, and you couldn’t take it, whilst you - at the same time - hoped that Barbra would realise that you weren’t good enough for her; hoped that she would - though you knew it would break you completely - leave you, and finally find someone better for her; someone who wasn’t a freak like you believed you were, and always had been ever since you were born. “If I were her, I reckon I’d just put a gun to my head - did you hear that one, Y/n?” She inquired, but you found you couldn’t respond, feeling much too weak and numb to do anything whilst an excruciating pain began to radiate throughout your body, and Barbra would subconsciously clench her fists a little whilst she bit down on her tongue; she’d never felt this angry before, and it was scaring her, as well as overwhelming her, making her feel as if she’d soon lose control of herself if your mother stayed within the room any longer than she already had done.

“I can’t believe you’d say stuff like that to your own daughter,” Barbra uttered, and your mother would shrug, before looking back at you again whilst you tried to hide that you had begun to cry quietly from them, not wanting to appear any weaker than you already were.

“I’m afraid it’s hard not to, when I never even wanted her,” your mother retorted, and you would falter again; Jack had always been supposedly joking about you being a mistake, but now it made more sense, hearing from your own mother that she’d never wanted to have you, in the first place, and it only made the pain more extreme than it had been, before, “we’ll probably be seeing each other again soon, so - see you around, Barbra, because I’m sure our paths will be crossing again, now.”

Your mother would then leave the room, and Barbra would then glance over at you whilst her eyes began to glisten; she couldn’t imagine how much pain you were in, compared to the pain she herself was facing to hear everything that your mother had previously said about you. “Y-Y/n, I-.. I’m so sorry,” she whined, “I-.. I didn’t realise how-.. how bad it was, but now.. You’ve had to live with that every day before you came here?”

“I’m used to it,” you managed weakly, but she could tell that you weren’t, and she wished you’d stop lying to her again, not wanting you to hide that you were in pain so she could try and help you more, “why, Barbie? You promised me you wouldn’t confront them-”

“I couldn’t just let her go on putting you down like that,” Barbra explained dejectedly, before she sat down beside you again, but you wouldn’t dare let your now sore eyes lock with her’s as you feared upsetting her further by showing her that you had been crying as a result of the encounter with your mother, “Y/n, l-look at me-”

“She’s gonna try and hurt you,” you mused shakily, “this is all my fault-”

“It’s not your fault,” she contradicted, “Y/n-”

“Why would you defend me like that?” You questioned feebly, and Barbra would appear taken aback whilst another hurt look crossed her face; she couldn’t believe you were even asking her something like that.

“I defended you because I love you, Y/n,” she answered, before intertwining the fingers of her left hand blissfully with the shaky and too pale fingers of your own, “a-and it’s scaring the hell out of me to - to see you like this; I couldn’t let her put you down and hurt you like that, b-because I’m terrified of losing you - what if you did try and take your life again because of her?”

You would frown, shaking your head gravely whilst your heart ached excruciatingly alongside her’s; you didn’t want her to think that you would end up doing that again. “I won’t, don’t worry,” you tried to reassure her whilst you quickly wiped away the remaining tears with your right hand, before looking up at her again, and she would - like you’d feared - feel worse when she noticed that you had been crying; your eyes were redder than usual, and your cheeks wet with tear stains, “b-because - because I love you too, Barb, a-and-.. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, s-so-.. I’m never gonna let my family win, I promise; we’re always gonna be together, f-for as long as you want to be, c-cause if you ever find you’re getting bored of me, o-or wanna find someone better than me-”

She would shake her head, before leaning forward to silence you by delicately connecting her lips to your’s, and you would instantly melt into the kiss whilst she carefully wrapped her arms around you, and you would subconsciously cling to her shoulders, afraid that she’d disappear if you let go of her. “It’s only ever going to be you for me, Snuggles,” she cooed gently, and you would begin to feel warm and fuzzy whilst she affectionately connected her forehead to your’s, “I promise, a-and I swear - n-no matter what happens - I’m never, ever gonna let your family hurt you again-”

“Wait, what - what’s going on? Was Y/n attacked?” You would both falter upon hearing Sasha’s voice, as you’d not heard the door open, looking over to find that Gloria and Sasha were stood in the doorway, shocked looks on both of their faces.

“You - You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Barbra mused, and Sasha would look up at her mother, not sure what to think, and Gloria would appear to also be struggling to take in the situation whilst Barbra and you would exchange worried expressions - you evidently had a load of explaining to do, and you couldn’t think of a way to get out of it this time without there being the involvement of the local police force, so you would do what you had had to do to survive your whole life - try and lie, except this time you were doing it to try and protect them, and not to try and protect yourself from your family, and the beatings that they would administer to you on a daily basis before you’d fled from them, fallen in love with Barbra, and given birth to Bailey.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

[quietmtntown]

Narcotic

It can treat pain and cough.

Controlled substance

High risk for addiction and dependence. Can cause respiratory distress and death when taken in high doses or when combined with other substances, especially alcohol or other illicit drugs such as heroin or cocaine.

When codeine was used in children, serious and life-threatening breathing problems such as slow or difficulty breathing and deaths were reported. Codeine should never be used to treat pain or a cough in children younger than 18 years of age. If your child is currently prescribed a cough and cold medicine containing codeine, talk to your child's doctor about other treatments.

@ccartman