#alienating their fans sucks but THAT'S NOT WHAT EAT THE RICH IS

[dragonlights]

Sometimes you see a post that makes you want to sleep for a century cause of the sheer 'missing the point' of it all.

[infinitethree]

hey, vio! i was just curious about where your friendship-slash-rivalry-slash-archnemesis thing with jacobs began. like did you just see each other and go “i hate” orrrrrr

Vio looks affronted. “Excuse you,” he scoffs, “Jacobs is nowhere near good enough to be my arch nemesis. He’s barely good enough to drink coffee with–” “Unfortunately, I have to agree.Violet is nowhere in my league,” Jacobs sighs, folding his arms over his chest.

The alien’s eyes narrow. As expected, Jacobs adds, “Because he’s way, way below it–” “I can literally kill you,” Vio warns, “I can kill you so fast you’d have no idea what happened.”

The man across from him laughs, grinning wide enough that it’s clear that his teeth are much too sharp to be human. Usually, he has a black cloth mask on, but he has been interrupted during a meal.

It also reveals the extent of his evidently never-fully-healed stitches. The line of them that goes from under his left eye continues across his nose at an angle, then curves under his right cheek and ear.

If they continue further, it's hidden by his hair.

He looks a little more relaxed in general. The brightly colored, though often redstone-smeared, jackets he wears are instead swapped out for a nearly identical one, but in greyscale.

The unusual, void-black stones that festoon his ears seem ever so slightly less devoid of color, but that might be a trick of the light.

…Which must also explain his eyes. They’re not usually black, but they seem like they are now. His hair is less of a rich chocolate brown and closer to the shade of loamy soil.

Vio seems unphased, so anything that might be going on must either be perfectly normal or is warping reality.

Jacobs tells the alien across from him, “Go ahead. Abuse your power, see where that gets you.” “I hate you.” “No you don’t.”

Again, Vio looks offended. "Don't tell me how I feel." "Then don't tell obvious lies," Jacobs answers, taking a long sip of the…

Actually, what the fuck is he drinking? It looks alarmingly like tar, from the color to the consistency. The cup he’s using is almost comically big, too.

The alien opens his mouth, doubtlessly to argue again, but Jacobs points out, "Didn't answer the question. If you're going to experiment with defying Time, do it in a controlled way and not where I'm eating."

Vio clicks his tongue in disgust, evidently aware that Jacobs has too good a point to try to dispute.

"I knew he was an asshole from the first time I saw him and acted accordingly," the alien huffs.

Jacobs snorts, "He could tell we had something in common." "We have nothing in common–"

The man raises his eyebrows and uses his enormous cup to gesture at Vio’s own, marginally less giant cup.

It's the same stuff Jacobs is, against all logic, managing to suck through a straw and not immediately die from ingesting.

"Coffee doesn't count," Vio says, unknowingly solving the mystery. He rolls his bright purple eyes and adds,  "That happened later."

"Yeah, but you used present tense." Voice flat, Vio refutes, "A slip of the tongue. Just like a knife is going to slip into your neck if you don't stop testing me."

Jacobs grins again. 

Evidently, Vio is happy to have something else he can focus on.

With a pleased, smug-seeming flick of his tail, he answers, "Thank you. It's nice to know some people can appreciate me."

It's Jacobs' turn to be annoyed. "Flattery, novelty, or poor taste. Also, way to sell your not-sons short." "They’re not my kids!" "Hence the not part."

Instead of arguing that point further, Vio tells him, "Jealousy suits you. Keep being mad, it's doing wonders for my mood."

Rolling his eyes, Jacobs scoffs, "I'm not jealous, I'm pointing out that you got a blind fan. You don't have a style, you have neon purple coats with inverse amounts of stains and embroidery, some jewelry, and nothing else of note. I think Aver would laugh his ass off if he heard it being called a style."

Vio grins wide enough to show the veritable daggers he has for teeth. "Sounds like jealousy and pettiness. Can't even win an argument without dragging others in, huh?" The sip he takes of his tar-like substance, evidently some abomination that he and Jacobs claim to be coffee, is very smug. "Tsk, tsk. I expected better from you."

For a long moment, Jacobs stares at the alien.

Then he twists a band on his wrist and swipes at the air a few times.

Vio's smugness immediately fades. "Don't you fucking dare–"

There's a spiteful grin as Jacobs asks out loud, "Hey, Aver, does what Violet wears count as a style?" 

A wild bark of familiar laughter sounds out. "Fuck no! He's fuckin' lucky fashion crimes can't get someone thrown in jail here. Probably like that because he rigged the fuckin' system–"

"I reformed a paranoid, war-torn hellhole with extremely obvious corruption and mental instability!" Vio's argument gets another snicker, but otherwise ignored. Aver asks, "What'd he even fuckin' do that made you ask?"

With all the smug glee of a kid tattling to a teacher, Jacobs answers, "One of the watchers claimed that Violet has a great style." 

Making a noise of understanding, Aver replies, "Ah, so one of 'em is fuckin' insane. Good to know, thanks for the warning. Not-Dad–" "Still not your dad!" "That's why there's a fuckin' 'not' in front of it, dumbass. Anyway, don't believe everything you fuckin' hear. Sometimes…people are wrong."

There's a pause, and then Aver continues, "Or lying. Might just be lying. Who knows; maybe the Observers or whatever they're fuckin' called are just laughing at you."

The expression Vio has is entirely offended. "Excuse you, I have plenty of style–" "Big man, the only reason you have coats without fuckin' stains is that I threatened to snowglobe you if some didn't stay clean."

Vio mutters, "Which is uncalled for, I have formalwear–" "Don't you fuckin' dare bring that fuckin' crime up," Aver says, a worrying hint of hysteria in his voice.

"You're the one that made it!" Aver, hysterical note getting more prominent, snaps, "Practically with a fuckin' knife to my throat! You made it fuckin' clear you were doing it just to fuck with me! Ooh, Aver, I'm gonna be a fuckin' asshole and make you pick between a literal fuckin costume, something based on a fuckin' anime cosplay, or just wear a normal-ass fuckin' outfit! Fuck you for wanting me to look nice!"

Vio huffs, but he’s grinning. "Maybe that's normal ceremonial attire for my culture, you don't know."

A moment of silence passes. Then another.

Then with an alarming amount of calmness, "Hey Jacobs, where are you and how much can you stop Vio from running for his miserable fuckin' life?"

Visibly and audibly pleased by this turn, the mechanic answers, "His house, and very little. I can set off your stasis chamber, though."

With a nervous chuckle, Vio tries, "Uh– surely you have a lot on your plate. You wouldn't take the time to come here just to stab me, right?"

Very much not kidding, Aver answers, "Better fuckin' run, bitch."

Not bothering with any further attempts to dissuade either of them, Vio scrambles out of his chair and books it.

Meanwhile, Jacobs gets up and calmly makes his way to the stasis chambers in the basement.

"That was a good talk," he cheerfully says out loud. "Thanks…Chime, was it? I think you're very wrong, but I'll let it slide because Violet is about to be in a surprise manhunt."

[clatterbane]

10 Songs On Repeat

Tagged by @fivekoboldsinacoat. Put the Spotify "on repeat" playlist on shuffle and share the first ten results, then tag ten people. (Or, I guess, if you don't use Spotify, share your top ten songs you listen to on repeat.)

Also, following his lead in linking to YouTube for accessibility. I preferentially went with live performances where possible, unless the sound quality sucked too bad by my own totally subjective standards. Just didn't have the spoons for more translation work today, but I also included a few lyric snippets where I could because why not.

The "On Repeat" can be pretty dangerous, dealing with somebody who is as prone to going off on neurospicy kicks as I am. Instead of, say, a couple of weeks of nonstop Delta blues, '80s synth, or Latin American metal? This time, we've apparently got wall-to-wall Swedish punk-adjacent stuff. (Which is more likely than most other genres here to not be English language. Handier for me learning Swedish than for most of y'all!) It's also mostly from newer bands.

Heavily featuring both Bäddat För Trubbel, who spent the 2010s (roughly) paving the way for trouble here in Malmö--and Trubbel, who evidently already found it in Gothenburg!

Mascara Snakes - "Vakternas Skräck" (live) - ("The Terror Of The Guards")

Bäddat För Trubbel - "Bäddat För"

Svart Katt - "Våld Mot Tjänsteman" ("Assault Against Officer")

Trubbel - "Tro På Mig" ("Believe In Me")

Viagra Boys - "Down In The Basement" (live). (Out of Stockholm, but their singer grew up in the Bay Area. I am still mad I missed seeing them across the bridge in Copenhagen a few months ago.) How're you going to explain your sex life to your wife?

Bäddat För Trubbel- "Bättre Män Än Mig" ("Better Men Than Me")

Viagra Boys - "Worms" (live) - (From an awesome session.) Also, one rather bizarre Korean horror movie (?) fan video I just ran across.

Hjelle - "Arbetsförmedlingen Ringde" (live) ("The Employment Agency Called")- (Yeah, same guy from Bäddat För Trubbel. I've been enjoying his voice and sense of timing, OK? 😅)

Svart Katt - "Bara En Spegel" ("Only A Mirror")

Trubbel - "Gbg City" (This live video is quite the extravaganza of pasty jorts-clad flesh, from last summer. In best Gothenburg style, evidently.) - Better audio studio version.

Continuing on to Spotify's "Repeat Rewind", for some wider representation over the medium term lately. Still pretty heavy on the punk-adjacent stuff, but I guess that's where my head has been.

1. Gnome - "Ambrosius" (These guys out of Antwerp are pretty awesome in general, for what I guess you'd file under stoner/doom metal with a sense of humor--where you can actually hear the bass in the mix. There's no real choreography in this particular lvideo, which is a shame.)

You can eat from the ground

2. Refused - "Summerholidays Vs. Punkroutine" (live) - (Also a Swedish band, btw. In a good 2012 performance.)

And I'm still certain that what motivates me is more rewarding

Than any piece of paper could be...

Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in

3. Suicidal Tendencies - "Till My Last Breath" (Yeah, really feeling it today.)

But I'll never let all this emptiness win

Until my last breath I'll be a fighting man Not just with my fist, but my mind and I got a plan...

Until my last breath, I ain't nobody's bitch Until my last breath, I'll keep pissin' on the rich Until my last breath, I'm gonna do it, I ain't gonna just try Until my last breath, I'm gonna hold my head up high...

I'm never letting go Until my last breath, the whole world's gonna know Until my last breath, I'll be keeping a score Until my last breath, I'll be fighting for more

4. Ramones - "Mental Hell" (Not their best album, but I still have a weak spot for it.)

I'm not feeling very well

5. Viagra Boys - "Milk Farm"

They say that you can get delirious from layin' off the sauce

But I don't know nothin' 'bout that

'Cause I ain't ever laid off

6. Alien Nosejob - "Television Sets" (live) - (And I finally just thought what one part of this reminds me of. Major flashing lights warning on that video.)

I don't need no cigarettes

I don't need no booze

I don't need the TV set

I don't need the news

7. Riddarna - "Vi Kommer Att Dö" (Keepin' the titles cheery over here: "We're Going To Die". But, better make the most of it!)

8. Dwight Yoakam - "Purple Rain" (live) - (Impressive tribute, when I already respected Dwight quite a bit. Studio version.)

9. Motörhead - "Tear Ya Down - B-Side - 'Louie, Louie'"

Gonna show you what I'm all about

I'm gonna shoot you down tonight

I don't really wanna freak you out

10. Orkan - "Rik Rikar Rikast" (live) - ("Rich Richer Richest" - Studio version with significantly better sound quality.)

To translate the chorus:

Have you forgotten what equality means?

Have you forgotten what solidarity means?

Have you forgotten what generosity means?

Have you forgotten what honesty means

I always feel awkward tagging people for this sort of thing. But, I will have a go this time: @soilrockslove @adrawatcher @theonewhopoops @floorbananamotherfucker @reddragdiva @kelpforestdwellers @queerdo-mcjewface @birdblogwhichisforbirds @supernini235 @ailurinae @katisconfused @ajax-daughter-of-telamon @soilrockslove @medleymisty

[tsuki-sennin]

Maaaaan, First Love Hero should never have been cancelled, Broken Heart Night sucks. ...I wonder if we'll get to meet the mangaka at this week's festival! ...to be clear, I want to meet Kiito-sensei, not the other one.

Anyways here's Donbrothers Episode 22! Spoilers, I guess...

-Ah yeah, manga fans. Very safe.

-Pitch Black Academy.

-Haruka.... Kanata.

-Homegirl really rode her self-insert to the top, we stan.

-Ew.

-...I mean, I can't blame Haruka entirely, this almost seems like an ideal writing environment for me personally.

-Ahhhhh, New Term, new arc!

-Yeah I'm with Sonoza here, what the hell?

-OH MY GOD HARUKA'S NEW STUDENTS ARE HER TEAMMATES

-...and Sonoi, but

-T

-Tsuyoshi, oh my god

-This is brilliant.

-...and to think I thought of Haruka as the braincell of the team at the start of the season.

-Oh my god, Sononi/Oni Sister Team Up.

-Oh yeah, Jirou.

-He's feral.

-"I'm sooooooooooorry, I have to go sicko mode!"

-Oh my god Tarou.

-"We need this man! He's very funny and st"

-My name is Don Dragoku!

-The Don clan...

-Brothers in arms.

-"Onii-chan! :D"

-"Ototo... :o"

-Cicada.

-"Noooooo :("

-Oh my God, Haruka.

-NOOO NOT TSUYOSHI LEAVE THE MAN ALONE

-I read a post on here, can't exactly remember from who, saying that Tarou felt like an analogue for neurodivergent children. ...I feel like everybody in the main cast is that to an extent, but I think Sonoza especially fits this mold right now. Think about it, he develops a hyperfixation on this otherwise extremely random short-runner manga that's been reduced to a punchline plagued with controversy, and he's using it as a method to learn how to sort out his own feelings. That tends to happen with autistic children, speaking from firsthand experience. He doesn't experience or understand emotions the same way allistic folk would expect or want him to, and because of that, he very easily alienates the people around him as he seeks guidance.

-Donbrothers makes me feel things, and feel them deeply.

-Humans fall in love for all sorts of reasons, Sonoza. Sometimes it even just kinda happens.

-We bonded!

-This rich dude... he looks familiar, where do I know him from?

-Ok, this man is apparently played by Tet Wada. Apparently he was in Sex and the City II and Royal Pains, which're all definitely things I've seen.

-Daaaaamn, he had dinner out.

-Wow, he's been winning all this time.

-"You're kinda boring, Goda-san."

-3-3-5! Oh, this guy's definitely Denji-ki.

-He's an epic gamer.

-Magical Girl Haruka!

-Oh my god, Bishoujo Kamen Onitrine.

-B

-Banana

-Baron da?

-It's a slump of a festival! We all just wanna go eating and fighting!

-Corporate bastard.

-OH FUCK SONOZA FOUND IT

-You could say "Once upon a time" to this man, I guess.

-"Haruka, where the FUCK have you been? Did you get kidnapped again?"

-OH MY GOD TAROU YOU NEARLY SHOT THAT OFFICE WOMAN

-H

-Haruka, you hjklh;hl.

-"Is that me?"

-Haruka, don't do that

-Oh god, Naoki Shiina real.

-B

-Bun

-I wanna hold off on cursing them out, but you've probably noticed that I have a rather low opinion on them.

-Rightfully so, I feel.

-Good luck, Haruka-san.

-They don't even speak, huh? Really dedicated to this gimmick.

-Wonder if thee's somehing bad.

-Sononiiiii!

-Oh nice, they're friends.

-"Yeah, this is pretty epic."

-Oh my god, beef stroganoff.

-"It tastes like fuck."

-Shinichi, I don't think CEO Man wants a Haiku.

-Oh

-Well, ok!

-AVATAR CHANGE YES

-Ooooooh, Fiveman! Five Guys, Burgers and Fries.

-Poor Jirou :(

-Hell yeah man, get up!

-Man, this action's so cool.

-"Cool Story Bro!"

-Our story reaches its climax, it seems!

-Wahahaha!

-We're back in cyberspace.

-Awoooooo!

-Tsuyoshi and Tarou confirmed non furry.

-Ooooooh, Kyoryu Gold! Hell yeah Jirou.

-You deed it!

-...where he at?

-Peachyyy!

-"GIVE ME ROBOT POWER!"

-I swear to god, if you don't give your employees massive raises...

-Shiina Naoki...

-Ohhh

-Oh no, Tsubasa's stuck.

-Dog man forever.

-Jirou robot confirmed :o?

-Okay, while we're still here, I have a theory about Naoki.

-It is my belief that Naoki is an entirely artificial entity created by whatever force is compelling the Donbrothers to fight, and their purpose is to anger and goad Haruka into doing what this force wants. Think about it, the rebranding of their doujin to ride off of Haruka's success, getting all the fame and fortune she wanted, being so far above Haruka's apparent skill level that they even predict how she throws tosses the manuscript in frustration... all of it seems deliberate in making her mad and forcing her to grow up as a character.

-When Haruka gave up her powers in Episode 10, Naoki Shiina was nowhere to be seen, perhaps suggesting that they were specifically part of her curse. There's also how little we see of them otherwise. Their secretive nature aside, we only see their one work, with nothing suggesting that they even did anything else, and thus have so little clout that it's a miracle this complete nobody took on a huge publishing company and won.

-Something else worth noting is that Shinichi called Haruka's OniSister form a rabbit all the way back in Episode 3, and now we have what's essentially an anti-Haruka represented as a rabbit... this is 5D chess on Inoue's part, I swear.

-Anyways, enough straining my brain, I'm going to destress by listening to Don't Boo for a few hours </3.

[dissonantdreamer]

hello! if you are still doing top 5 things, what are your top 5 favorite cryptids and/or ghost stories! hope your day is most excellent, my dude!

Oh fuck yeah! love me some cryptids/ghost stories. So so much, i almost wrote a cryptid book for kiddos a few years back.

Mothman: I just fuckin' love this funky little dude. Is it most likely an owl because of the way their eyes absorb light? Yeah probably. But I love the idea of this giant moth dude predicting som disasters and then fuckin' off to the woods to vibe. Also the mothman statue is way hornier in person. Dude is more ripped than jesus christ himself.

Ghosts of Gettysburg: There are quite a few stories that come from that place a few that I don't believe are more than a quick sell for various psychic scam artists, but that place has suck a dark history the entire town was taken over by war, infighting, and bloodshed unlike anything else america has seen and it is very difficult to explain the phenomenon there. I'm not a "vibes" person but it's the most uncomfortable place I've ever been to it feels like death" but the stories range from ghostly figures walking across the roads of the battlefield, near where the Gettysburg scene in Remember the Titans was filmed there is some reports of men screaming and the sounds of warfare and horses, Sachs covered bridge has a story of three hanged confederate men there that involves hearing the sounds of bodies and the creak of rope. Stealing a rock from Devil's Den supposedly curses you. There's so much history tied to the ghosts, it can be hard to parse what's true and whats made palatable for a quick sell on the street, but it's one of the few places that would ever make me consider ghosts being real.

Kuchisake-onna (slit-mouthed woman): Japan has such a rich an unique relationship with it's ghost stories and demons, a friend in college would swap ghost stories with me and the slit-mouthed woman always stood out, because and encounter with the spirit would never end well no matter what you did. A woman with her lower half of her face covered by a fan, cloth mask, or handkerchief hold a sharp object asking if you if you think shes beautiful, answer no she kills you answer yes and she removes her mask to reveal her mouth has been split ear to ear scream or say no when she asks you again, you're killed, answer yes and your mouth is split ear to ear to match her.

Lumberjack Cryptids: These dudes are harmless as fuck mostly tall tales but also just cute nuisances The Axehandle hound is just a dog that's thin like an axe handle, tiny little stub legs, and it's head is shaped like an axe. and they just ganked ax handles from lumberjacks to fuck with them. Dingbat? Bascially a giant owl-like creature with horns that would do mad pranks like, drink gasoline and steal ammunition also it could eat bullets out of fucking midair that's just fuckin' awesome. And my favorite the hidebehind which was created to explain why a lumberjack never returned to work. They stalk humans by hiding behind things and trying to perceive is difficult there have been some pretty awesome horror shorts that utilize that cryptid.

Aliens: technically count as cryptids and will forever hold a special place in my heart. Ever since I was 7 and was absolutely sure I saw a UFO on my way to Pizza Hut to get my best reader ever medal I have been obsessed with aliens. Little grey men, Roswell, the fresno night crawler, men in black, I did an entire speech on aliens and ufos in middle school because I was so obsessed.

Bonus:

Ghost Stories: What an anime. Can't believe it was made. No words.

Man this was hard to narrow such a wide field down to five but I cheated a little anyway. I am having a most excellent day today and i hope you have your yourself!

[justjstuff]

For the ask game: I, L, R and S?

Thanks for the ask!!! <3

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

r: I honestly can't remember lmfao. Maybe it was back in 2020 before the whole pandemic thing and this Almost Something guy that at that point was an ex-Almost Something Guy was giving more attention to this friend of mine instead of me? Hmmm could have been that I was jealous of these two girls for moving abroad too xD Oh wait, I'm actually really jealous of everyone who's already vaccinated when my dad just got his first dose a couple of weeks back so things are awful over here.

L - If I have siblings.

r: Yes! I have an older sister, she's 5 years older than me and the reason I started reading fanfic haha I also have @calliartss who is my cousin but we're the same age so we basically grew up as sisters/best friends.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

r: I thought this was about like "ten fun facts about me" but then I asked someone else about this and she answered as "ten things that interest me" and I much rather answer something like that so here goes:

1. People. As in, what makes people act certain ways, how we interact with each other, how different people manifest the same emotions in different ways, etc. All of this coming from a place of simple curiosity but also research for better characterization in my writing/acting.

2. Writing. Lol, ofc I had to put it there because it's just a huge part of who I am. I'm not even saying writing as only creating stories but also writing pros and cons lists to get my thoughts in order, writing sad passages about what's happening to me to get a little bit of relief from some overwhelming feelings and all that.

3. Folklore. I find it fascinating to read about ancient legends, how societies grew from them and how it still kinda influences them to this day. Did you know that all around the world there are myths and legends about dragons? And I mean, yeah it's cool and all, but I mean, these civilizations had absolutely no contact with each other. I'm talking about Mayans and Incas and Vikings and ancient Chinese people depicting the same creatures in their lore. It's interesting because it tells a story and it makes you wonder. Did they somehow did end up having contact with each other or did something else happen?

4. On that topic, Latin American history in specific. Our people has such a rich culture and it's sad that it's so unexplored and misinterpreted in many ways. When it does get some attention it's mainly about Incas/Mayas/Aztec people and South America often gets forgotten or depicted as brainless savages.

5. Still on that topic, space and mythology. As in, every myth has a little bit of truth and it makes me wonder sometimes. I'm a huge sci-fi fan, grew up watching Alien and Star Trek and shit so yeah xD

6. Heist movies. Also Mission movies in general. I love everything about them and I wish we had more lol.

7. Martial Arts. I love fighting and even though I've been a beginner all my life I find it really interesting to know different kinds and where they came from and why. I had a kendo lesson once in the temple in Kyoto where kendo was created with a teacher that was one of the last descendants of samurai and just... oh wow I really like martial arts lmao.

8. You see I'm slowly diverging into interests/things I like rather than things I'm curious about BUT let's just pretend I'm sticking to the script here. ART. I have a very intense urge to create sometimes and get seriously depressed when I don't for a while. I suck at drawing/painting but I love it hahah in 2019/2020 I was trying my hand at watercolor which is incredibly hard for me bc I'm an absolute control freak but it was also a very nice therapy for letting go and letting things run their course. Now in 2021 I started oil painting which is also incredibly hard but super relaxing and it's teaching me patience.

9. Traveling. Not in a oh let me see just how many different Hyatt hotels/resorts I can see the same inside in different places in the world way but more like... God how fucking privileged are we that we get to experience things like that??? Think about it, you get to taste a bit of someone else's culture, you get to walk through streets and forests that your ancestors wouldn't even dream of. And all of that you get to do it in a way that contributes to that particular culture's economy if you're careful about the way you go about it (where you stay, what restaurant you eat in, what store you're buying your clothes/trinkets, etc).

10. The internet. lol, lame I know but it follows the same line of thought from number 9 because look, I've made friends here with people whom I wouldn't ever get to know if the internet (and fandom) didn't exist and I just love how we can share experiences here and learn from each other and lean on each other and just... yeah, i'm soft about it haha

S - 2 habits.

r:

1. Drink a bottle of water as soon as I wake up. I started this last year when I was in a really bad depressive loop and it honestly changed my life. It's about being mindful of what your body is doing and giving it a proper wake up. I don't do a lot of the things I probably should be doing but this is thankfully a habit I managed to keep.

2. Tea before bed. Tea at any and all time of the day, really, but it's really something that I miss when I can't do it (because I'm traveling or there's no more tea or whatever), just have a nice cuppa before bed, warm up and calm down and then Zzzzzzz xD

ask me a brutal honesty question

[n1ghtm3ds]

my 100 ideas

Most of these totally suck but i wrote 100 of them so let me know if any of them sound like something you would read or have any ideas for how to spice them up with blood and gore and how to get the most shock possible out of the idea.  

-Two girls become drifter killers to fund the abortion of father-daughter incest

- Zombies like EDM and converge on a rave, replacing the drugged up crowd with nobody noticing

-human farming and a cannibal restaurant

-girls discover fairies and torture them

-two pageant stars become pro-ana superstars

-people earn points in an online game called “Calligula” by committing crimes and filming them

-A boy befriends a vampire trucker and reminds him of his last mortal love

-mall goths murder a “poser” in the woods

- De sade as a transcript of a hurtcore chatroom

-neighborhood kids who congregate at “dirt Hill” bully a child to death who comes back and haunts them in their teens

-A suicide club starts at a highschool

-Oliver twist remake where they are prostitutes instead of thieves

-A glitch in time leaves a rapist turned into a child and lands him at the mercy of his victim

-killer caterpillars

-Aliens that can only get you if you think of them

-A bulimic girl vomits up a baby

-Monsters live in the sand of a beach

-Experiments done on kids to turn them into weapons

-A pedophile on the run with his victim writes a fake memoir supposedly penned by the victim about murdering his family to escape

-Women storm the white house to torture/kill a rapist president

-An exchange studentl living in germany is called upon by the ghosts of a murdered jewish family to kill the family next door who are descendants of the nazis that killed them

-addicts at the end of the world trying to stay high

-anti-aging cream is made of dead 3rd world babies

-Bigfoot, our protagonist, tries to befriend a group of campers but accidentally kills them all off

-Prtending to be underaged, a girl traps a sadist pedophile in his own BDSM dungeon

-An american pedophile in asia becomes possessed by the ghost of a little girl killed in a brothyl

-a girl mutilates herself in her room in an attempt to look “beautiful” by cutting off all the features she finds ugly

-Satanists overtake a christian summer camp for SRA rituals

-A girl who is being molested’s dolls com to life in order to kill her stepfather, told from the POV of her favorite teddy bear

- A girl falls in love with a ghost who she can only see when she asphyxiates so she becomes hooked on duster

-A mute autistic girl befriends a demon who gets vengeance on her bullies

-Two DID alters fall in love and write love letters to each other in a diary even though they can never exist at the same time, plan revenge on church gardner who abused the host and caused the split in an attempt to be whole

-A child who killed another child is released from prison upon turning 18.  When another child goes missing he must solve the mystery to clear his name with the help of his murder victim’s sister (who turns out to be the real killer)

-An adopted girl, upon turning 18, searches for her birth family only to discover a human puppy mill

-Two little boys abduct and murder another at a carnival and watch the panic unravel as the adults search for him

-A cult leader drives his followers to mass suicide

-A mother and daughter break a murderer out of jail and fight for his affections

-a school adopts lobotomies for problem students

-A human trafficker crosses paths with a telekinetic child

-An adopted girl finds out she is the blood heir to an enormous hurtcore ring

-A woman becomes aware that she is a character in a story and begins fighting the writer, who plans to write her into a tragedy

-a rich girl who has spent her life in a self sufficient high rise accidentally hits a lower-floor elevator button to discover that the zombie apocalypse has been happening for over a decade

-The son of a truck stop stripper living motel to motel comes across a magic pack of cigarettes that each grant a wish when smoked.  In the end he gives his last one to his mom and she wishes he was never born and he disappears.

-An abusive troubled teen camp in the wilderness combats a masked slasher

-Activists free elephants at a circus but are captured by sadistic clowns

-Patient zero of a zombie virus goes around infecting hundreds of people through her work in a fast food chain because she cant take paid time off

-A vigilante caring for her murdered best friend’s infant has to take out a chain of criminals while still keeping up with the overwhelming task of motherhood

-A new club drug goes around the rave scene, highly addictive, eventually turns you into a zombie but so addictive people cant stop using it

-A girl wakes up and lives the same day out 100 times, with each day becoming more gruesome and out of control as she tries to stop the death of her best friend from happening

-A woman with no memories is arrested for involvement in a hurtcore ring

-Teens in a mental hospital after a rash of suicide attempts begin to die in strange accidents around the hospital

-A girl singer rising to fame realizes shes being prepared to be sacrificed by a death cult

-A boy who accidentally murdered his sister as a child becomes obsessed with a local girl who looks like she would have grown up to and stalks her, killing everybody close to her to “get his sister back” for his dying mother

-after trying acid for the first time a college girl is dragged back in time and witnesses the slaughter of the natives by settlers and is taken in by a native family fighting back

-A conscious zombie takes out a white supremecist stronghold

-Teens at a christian youth retreat battle a tentacle monster that feeds on virginity

-A haunted house bonds with the family that it is killing after falling in love with the lonely teenage daughter

-After abuse in the industry, a porn star seeks revenge against the producer who abused her, rendering her infertile

-A little girl who lives in a funeral home forms a bond with a senile old man who believes her to be his dead wife reincarnated

-A cursed school play production where the creepy theater teacher has a deal with the devil to sacrifice the lead girl, who grows a thirst for blood

-Upon puberty a girl starts to gruesomely turn into a mermaid despite her family’s assurances that these changes are beautiful and special

-a homeless prostitute forces her son to be her daughter in order to scam and kill pedophile men

-somebody nearby dies whenever a child sucks her thumb and she tries to break the habit

-after discovering her beloved guide dog is a demonic hell hound who needs human flesh to survive, a blind girl goes about finding deserving victims for him to eat

-A band of punk rockers find themselves set upon by nazis after one is killed at their show, the nazis have super-meth

-Everyday life in a small town is disrupted when the residents awake to find themselves living with grotesque cartoon physics

-A date-rapist catches an STD that turns his penis sentient and against him

-A boy who has never seen the sunlight is identified as a kidnapped infant and returned to his family, who have no idea how to handle his PTSD

-A tween popstar’s lyrics contain satanic messages that make his fans killers they kill their families and go on robbing sprees to afford his concerts

-A prim and proper young woman crosses a zombie-infested city to reunite with her (female) childhood best friend who she is in love with

-A chubby loner girl suddenly becomes an asset to her girl scout camp when it is set upon by monsters that only she knows how to fight from reading about them in horror books

-A kidnapped boy realizes he is outgrowing his captor’s attraction and sets out to eliminate the competition of new boys brought into the house

-A redneck boy and his incestuously abusive brother are the lone survivors of a monster attack on their family farm and the boy has to decide if he wants to help his abuser survive or take his chances on his own

-A school for poor children where children are farmed for their organs for the rich

-a young junkie discovers one day that he has the power to regenerate lost body parts

-An interracial group of rich friends finds themselves lost in a bad neighborhood overnightdurring a full moon where the occupants of the neighborhood come alive as werewolves

-A small Amish-type religious community is completely cut off from the world during a monster attack and carry on business with no idea that the outside world has collapsed other than that they’ve stopped receiving letters and newspapers.  A team is sent out to scout the damage

-A girl who has her driver's license for the first weekend is held hostage as a getaway driver for two sadistic maniacs on their crime spree

-At a sleepover, two elementary school girls decide to kill another

-An ex-amish girl assimilates herself into society right when a monster attack begins to crumble it and must get back to her family to warn them that the world is ending

-Desade’s 120 days rewritten in the modern day hamptons

-a new diet pill causes moths to take up residence in somebody’s digestive system

-a group of white people go to film the “horrors” of a supposedly cannibal tribe, but when their racist notions are false, they force the people to conform to what they expected to find so they have something for their film

-a “murder circus” where participants pay to torture victims runs into a clash with protestors

-fights to the death like dogfighting but with human children

-a young man gives himself up to a sadist to pay off his sister’s drug debt

-A young woman working in the crime scene clean up business tries to shelter her own daughter from the horrors of the world by locking her in their apartment and becoming more and mor agoraphobic

-A home invasion turns the tables when the serial would-be-rapists/robbers break into the home of female vampires

-In the aftermath of the end of the world, a small tribe of hardened cannibalistic survivors now have to face forced assimilation back into society

-Trapped in a building with an active shooter, a group of elementary school kids fight back with school supplies

-An international tour group of study abroad students become stranded in the alps with a snow monster

-a team of serial killers/lovers is put to the test when one of them gets a woman pregnant and decides he wants to quit killing and become a normal person

-A teenage punk with a specialty for giving piercings turns into a back-ally abortionist in a wealthy suburb

-Twins who share a body and each have a head get into a feud over a lover and attempt to separate

-A group of racists find themselves cursed by a flesh-eating virus that starts with a change in skin pigment

-Racists hunting illegal immigrants come up on the wrong side of a desert spirit after destroying water left out by humanitarian groups

-A police force in a poor city is hit with a curse that transform them into flesh hungry pig-monsters and the local youth must take them out to protect their neighborhood

-A massive flood turns into a struggle for survival for a dorm building full of art students

-A woman is convinced that her son, conceived through a rape, is a demon

-A mental hospital during a zombie outbreak

[jaimetheexplorer]

That Emmy shit-storm on the horizon

While I’m overjoyed with the Emmy nominations for acting, directing (for Nutter and Sapo, not the other one), Ramin and Nina (because they all deserved it), we now have to brace ourselves for the gaslighting over the writing, and all the fandom drama that comes with it (like we haven’t suffered enough this year as it is). And I’m already exhausted, so here’s my take on it.

Whether you like it or not, actors have to be professional. I think it’s ridiculous of fans to expect actors to go to official events or give official interviews for nominations and say “yeah, the writing was shit and we never should have been nominated for this season”. I am not famous nor work in the entertainment industry but, sadly, that’s what “professionalism” is considered to be, even in my line of work: if anything happens in the university/department that might attract media attention, we get emails saying not to talk to the press unless we are “briefed” on how to handle it and cleared to go. And as much as I might be fed up with several aspects of my job or working for my boss, if I knew I was giving a public interview about it, I’d be incredibly uncomfortable saying that out loud, while having no problem ranting about it in private every. single. day. It sucks, that you have to be (to varying degrees) dishonest in order to be considered professional, but that’s where we are at. And, look, maybe some of them even genuinely believe the writing to be great. While it’s disappointing to hear that coming from the mouth of someone you admire, - and I personally lose respect for anyone who tries to genuinely defend this season as well written (because it defies any logic or intellect) - they are free to express that opinion, just as we are free to criticise them, lose interest in them, mute them, unfollow them and so on.

However, whether you like it or not, people can be critical of anyone involved in production and people who are hell bent on defending these statements should understand that dismissing criticism the way they’re doing (i.e. “people are just upset it’s over/they didn’t get what they wanted”) doesn’t win cast and crew any favours, if anything, it’s just going to alienate everyone even more than the plot already has. This behaviour is the equivalent of a student given a fail by all the examiners but being awarded a degree nonetheless, and dismissing the fails as “wrong” because obviously you cannot get a degree if you fail, so those who gave the student a fail didn’t know what they were talking about. While many who criticised the show have provided lengthy and thorough analyses and explanations as to why they feel that way, nobody who’s defended it has provided anywhere near the level of detail to justify their opinion. At most, it amounts to “take my word for it, D&D really cared about the story” or “it wouldn’t be this popular if the writing were bad”. To use the student analogy again, it’s like the examiners providing pages of pages of feedback to justify their grades, while the student goes “nah! in my opinion I worked hard and I deserve the degree, so I’ll take it anyway!”. This is as close to gaslighting as it comes, and nobody likes to be gaslighted.

It’s also hypocritical. When audiences praise a show and make it big, you never hear anyone involved in production saying that it’s blown out of proportion, or silly, or they’re just being emotional and irrational. However, the moment the audience turns against the show, suddenly they are being irrational and are just upset because the did not get what they wanted/expected (and, no, that is not necessarily a dirty word - if a work of fiction is built upon setting certain expectations, especially in terms of quality of the writing), and can’t really recognise good writing. So if we can’t recognise good writing, what does that say of the hype when the show was considered “good” by the majority? You can’t have your cake and eat it too. 

While taking it out on the actors for the writing, or escalating things to death threats and personal insults isn’t civil, it’s also silly to ask fans, who are, for the most part, average people, with average jobs, who sometimes find their only escape and pleasure in fiction (and who had to pay HBO subscriptions for years to watch this show), to feel sorry for two millionaires, who were in the extremely privileged position of working on the biggest show on tv (and who, unlike the average worker, won’t get fired or won’t see their money taken away from them, no matter how poorly they perform), for being criticised when they blatantly rushed and half-assed their job because they were bored. They “worked hard”? Well, so what? Plenty of people “work hard” in the world and aren’t shielded from criticism just because they do, if the final product isn’t up to standards. People aren’t “being mean” to D&D (or the actors defending them) because they want to be mean. They are being mean because they feel toyed with, conned, and their intelligence insulted when they’re being told that all the stuff they paid attention to and that the show built its entire reputation on actually didn’t mean shit in the end. It’s like asking someone who hired a construction company to build them a house and waited 8 years for it to be finished not to be pissed off when the roof ends up being built out of straw and has holes in it. 

Furthermore, Game of Thrones did not become big because of D&D’s genius: they didn’t invent it. They took GRRM’s work and adapted it to the screen, which makes the job much much much easier than creating something from scratch. On top of that, most of the praise the show has received was over the first 3-4 seasons of the show, when the show was still, by and large, more or less sticking to the books. The ratings kept growing not because the writing was so amazing in later seasons, but because, in the era of binge-watching, more and more people catch on later onto those first seasons and want to see how it ends. It’s TV 101: ratings in later seasons are a result of the quality of the previous seasons, because people cannot know in advance what they’re going to be watching. It’s the reason early seasons of any shows have lower ratings, despite often being better quality, while rating decline after the quality has already begun to decline. 

They also lucked out not only in having wonderful source material ready for them to use, but in having an HBO budget and flexibility to do whatever they wanted, an amazing casting director who picked an incredibly talented cast, and in being surrounded by talented writers, directors, composers and so on. They suffer from the exact same kind of misplaced egomania Chris Carter suffered from on The X-Files, where he thinks he’s some kind of genius for making what, at the time, was the biggest show on TV. In that case, at least Chris Carter can be praised for having created the characters and that world, but the situation is very similar. He’s a mediocre writer who lucked out by having all the pieces fall into place around him (actors, writers, directors), and his total failure at doing anything else afterwards (other than running TXF further into the ground with his revivals) is where D&D will likely be in a few years.

The reason all this “damage control” is making things even worse than they already were is because it gives the impression that that the bottom line in this is that the audience’s reaction to a work of fiction only counts as far as it’s positive and makes the production big and rich, and when it’s negative it has to be dissected for “wrongs” and dismissed as irrational or exaggerated, while showrunners are owed praise no matter what they do, by being boosted (and made rich) by feverish hype, but shielded by equally feverish criticism.

[jessiohhh]

One of my best friends @ahufflepuffhobbit tagged me in this long list of things to help us get to know each other, and I’m just so glad to learn more things about her! So I’m going to tag @the-angry-pixie, @s-s-georgie, and @purebloodqueen (and anyone else who wants to join in!) with no pressure to these three to actually complete this! It’s long.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I’m a pen snob. I prefer black G2 pens, but I’ll also write with blue or make notes with red on paper copies of reports and things (just so I can feel like a professional at some point in my life). I don’t mind the colors so much as I mind the pen. G2 only for my personal life (bic when I know the pens will be stolen).

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I lived in Boston for 4 years, and I liked some parts of it. Now I live in a smaller city outside of Boston (around 100k people) and I love it here, but the art scene and the queer spaces are ample and I really like my job.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Outside of becoming a better writer, I really want to learn how to cook better and do better food presentations so I can make a “food blog” and become famous for learning how to cook better and teaching people how to cook better.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, I just do a regular regular (2 cream, 2 sugar) for coffee, but for tea I prefer honey.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? Under 5, I read The Cay with my dad and loved it. Under 8, I read Goodnight, Mr. Tom, a book about a child evacuee from London which got me started on my WWII history obsession. Under 10, I became obsessed with The Outsiders (which is still my favorite book to this day). Under 13, The Only Alien on the Planet. Under 15, Harry Potter (unfortunately, the author has ruined the series for me). Under 18, I fell in love with this book about a young teen dad, and I’ve never been able to find the book again.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I’m totally a baths person, but no tubs are quite the right fit, so when I’m rich and famous I’m getting myself a soaker tub and I will live in that damn thing (I have dreams that my grandmother had a soaker tub--which she did--that she never used--which she didn’t--but I would sneak into her house to use her soaker tub--which unfortunately never happened. Can you tell how stressed I am by nature? I just need a soaker tub with a bath bomb and like 4 hours to myself).

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hmm... I just want to be your average garden variety hedge witch. 

8. Paper or electronic books? Either/or. I suck at reading these days. I just don’t have the attention span. Give me a book and I’ll probably only read half regardless of electronic or paper. (#badwriter, #readmore)

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? I quite like capri leggings. They’re my typical go-to wardrobe choice. 

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I don’t feel like Jessica really fits me that much anymore, but I’m comfortable with Jess.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I would classify one of my college professors, but she just “unfriended” me on facebook because of differing viewpoints (neither are wrong, but her view of what I was saying wasn’t accurate). So I might be in the market for a new mentor.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? Sure, in some regards, I suppose. A part of me has always wanted to be “famous” but really I’d just take my 15 minute spotlight and be happy with that. I’d really like to be on one of those cooking competition shows (only a nice British TV one, not an American one), or I’d like to have fans on youtube and have a really cool youtube channel, or I’d like to be a writer with some really good books published... or even just a child development theorist. Whatever. Gimme my 15 minutes!

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Relatively, yes. I’m up to pee, to toss and turn, with nightmares. I’m someone who talks in their sleep and who thinks that their dreams are happening in the waking world--so I respond verbally to things dream characters say.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I think I’m a romantic at heart, but I have few people to express that side with.

15. Which element best represents you? My sign is water, but I’m definitely more fire.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I don’t really have anyone that I’m afraid of being close to, but I wouldn’t mind having a datemate. Find me someone to fit that role, please.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? I think a part of me will always miss my brother, and I’m close to my mother but prefer that we have a bit of space between us (we’re too similar). I think there’s this thing where you miss things you’ve never had, because I totally miss feeling part of a close knit friend group.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I played alone as a kid a lot, and in my backyard we had a swing set that I would play on a lot. There were horses in the field beside the back yard, and a donkey in the field behind it and in the woods on the other side of the house were a bunch of feral cats. I remember swinging on the swings and hearing something make a god awful sound that I had never heard before (and it sounded really close to me) and I remember panicking and running straight for the house. My dad told his version of the story; he looked out and saw me, eyes wide as saucers, pale as a sheet, running in as fast as my little legs could carry me. 

Admittedly, this is also the house where I’m pretty sure I saw aliens peeking in my bedroom window, so was it supernatural or just an animal? I’ll never know.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’m down to eat almost anything; I ate a baby octopus once, and didn’t really like it. It was too spicy and too chewy.

20. What are you most thankful for? The job I have; I feel incredibly supportive by my supervisor and incredibly thankful to have such wonderful families I get to support every day.

21. Do you like spicy food? I used to... and then I became too white.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? I once spoke on the phone with Hal Sparks (a friend was at a comedy show of his and called me in the middle of the night so he could say hello to me). I’ve also brushed past a few other people while in New York City or in Florida, but nothing super memorable. 

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? I try to, but then I forget for a year and then I write a page that’s like “well this has happened in the last year.” and I do that every year I keep the physical journal. Sometimes I do write down tarot interpretations and things like that as they pertain to my life at the time.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Mostly pens. Occasionally pencils, but mostly pens. 

25. What is your star sign? Cancer

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Ew. Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I want to be able to continue supporting families even after I’ve gone... through a foundation or through a child developmental theory book... we’ll see.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I enjoy reading, but I’m pretty sure I have an undiagnosed case of ADHD, and I’ve been chasing the high of going into hyperfocus ever since I was a child--I haven’t stayed up all night reading since my teens and I miss that.

29. How do you show someone you love them? I’m very much a words of affirmation sort of person, and a quality time person. Gimme a day out with a friend or someone I care about and I’ll compliment who they are as a person about 800 times, and if you give me a task to do, I’ll love you forever.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Yeah, I’m an ice cruncher.... I know it’s bad, but it’s so good.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t have a lot of fears, but I think fear that my mom would pass unexpectedly is a big one. I don’t know how I’d get through life without her support and guidance. I also fear panic attacks (not the triggers themselves, but the panic attacks that I have every now and again).

32. What is your favourite scent? I have this incense called Opium that I love... I also love the smell right as it starts to rain, the ocean, sometimes sunny days have a really nice smell too... 

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? I don’t typically say people’s names, but if I have to address someone, I’ll usually say, “Ma’am or sir” until they tell me to call them by their first names.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I mean, honestly, I’d still be doing the same thing, but I’d be considering buying my own house and having a kid... two of the things I really want but can not afford right now.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I prefer to be in the water at the ocean as compared to a pool (the chlorine kills me), but if I’m going to swim I prefer to do that in a pool... because I don’t trust myself to swim in the ocean--I don’t have enough experience to be a confident ocean swimmer even though I’m a fairly good swimmer in general.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Look around to see if anyone has lost it, but then pocket it. Maybe I’d hand it off to a homeless person or someone who looks in need, but that’s me being optimistic that I’d do that.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yeah, I drove through the Pleiades meteor shower one year, and saw about 15 shooting stars in 10 minutes. I also stood on top of Mount Lee in Hollywood (where the hollywood sign sits) and saw a shooting star there. Once I was up in Maine and laying in the grass with some friends and saw a shooting star there too... you just have to be in a place that’s dark enough, and it’s likely you’ll see some flaming space trash crash into the earth.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I would like to have children to teach them, but I’m worried that won’t happen because $$ and society suck. But I really try to teach the children that I love in my life how to be a good, kind, person, and how to treat others with respect. I try to teach consent early and often. I try to teach loving yourself as you are and how you are, and that who you are is deserving of love, no matter what happens in your life. I try to teach them that they are not perfect (no one is), but that you can amend your actions and make reparations to the people you have harmed with your actions, and that even though you have made a mistake as long as you are taking steps to correct your mistake you are a good person and always worthy of love. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I already have them, but I would like more. But again... $$.

40. What can you hear now? The roomba just turned on. It’s definitely time for bed.

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my room, in my home.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Feeling unworthy of love.

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I’m not really interested anymore in going back into previous times... the past was only idealistic to white people, and people of color have had a shitty time in every era so I’m good. Take me to a time when racism is done and then we’ll talk.

44. What is your most used emoji? the crying laughing cat face

45. Describe yourself using one word. Intense.

46. What do you regret the most? I don’t know that I have a lot of regrets. I regret when people misinterpret what I mean when I say something that wasn’t explained well. I regret individuals who have exited my life that have chosen to do so of their own volition. But they aren’t things that I had a lot of control over, so I don’t regret them very much.

47. Last movie you saw? Hamilton. I quite appreciated being able to see it finally.

48. Last tv show you watched? I watch a lot of paranormal tv... just because it’s something to put on... actually I fall asleep to a lot of paranormal tv. If I were to see a ghost, I probably wouldn’t react that much because I just sleep through the weird shit they do on tv, so... what up ghost?

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. I don’t tend to invent words... I do like putting words together in new ways though and telling different stories. Maybe I’ll do that sometime.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Homestretch....the final Cyberverse episodes... :’(

Season 3: Episodes 21 - 26

Episode 21

Ok so before we start, I gotta fess up and say I got spoiled for something because Twitter Sucks, so I know Tarn is in this series. Here are my predictions about that: 

Megatron said he rescued Astrotrain from a tyrant. I thought he meant an Alt!Universe version of him, but now that I know This Bastard is gonna be in it, I’m guessing it’s Tarn

If Megatron DID save Astrotrain from Tarn, it’d be hilarious if Tarn & co. weren’t actually planning to kill Astrotrain, they were just using him as transport, in which case Megatron essentially car-jacked (train-jacked?) them.

As much as I rag on Tarn and the DJD I actually do genuinely love the idea of an Autobot + Decepticon teamup against the DJD THAT WOULD BE SO FRICKIN COOL....

Anyways, on to the episode!

Pics taken 10 seconds before disaster, rip Cosmos.

MEDIA BOT and Cosmos! :D GOSH COSMOS REALLY IS CONFIRMED FOR BABY THAT”S ADORABLE.....I’m so glad he’s finally back in a cartoon

OH WHOOPS I FORGOT WINDBLADE WAS FRICKIN DEAD (ish)

LUNA 3???

The “FORBIDDEN” moon? 

Chromia: You can go there anyways! Bee: Huh?  Chromia: When have the rules ever stopped you before? Bee: Fair point

BRO WHY DO YOU HAVE A TOY OF SQUIDSCREAM

aw I love all those photos of him and cosmos, that’s cute

Oh no did he quit the business because he lost Cosmos???

METEOR-FIRE what a cool name

I like this dude a lot

I love that he’s obviously depressed about losing his partner but immediately gets convinced to go break into Luna 3 lmao

HE’S GOT CUTE CAMERAS WITH HIM I love that

LMAO I was gonna say “Wow you just flip the switches alright” THEN HE JUST RIPS THE CORDS OUT I love this guy

Hmm suspicious

Aw I love the space-shots of Cybertron, what a gorgeous planet....

Oh hello cannon-fodder #418

SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE SHOCKWAVE!!!!!

IT”S THE GRUDGE LMAO

It’s probably a sim that shows you the scariest thing you can think of

BLURR!!! AW THAT’S SO SAD

Ok I take it back, it’s probably like MTMTE’s “Cyberutopia” thing where it reads your memory files

Watch the cameras Bee!!!

“Bee, I don’t mean to alarm you, but the alien presence has taken over my circuits” *HEAD DOES A 180* GOSH I LOVE THIS FRICKIN SHOW

The facial expressions in this show are SO FUN Bee’s so expressive I love that

I like that Meteor-Fire is so chill about this, this ain’t his first rodeo

He just snaps his neck back into place that’s so freaky and they play it off so well lol

PRETTY SPACE BALL???? PRETTY SPACE BALL!!! HEY HASBRO CAN YOU MAKE A TOY OF THIS I WANT IT!!!!!!

Gosh I’d legit buy a gem like this if it had constellations engraved on it THAT’S SO PRETTY I LOVE IT

It’s a good thing that Bee’s got Meteor-Fire with him, this is his field!!!

Oh lmao JUST KIDDING I GUESS

Well so much for the alien, rest in pieces

I think Saling already said this in their liveblog but I love that Bee’s collecting Windblade’s parts a-la-Megaman X2 style

COSMOS!!!!!! Yay I’m so glad they got him back!!!

Meteor-Fire: Look everybody, Cosmos is back!!! :D ME TOO BUD I’m so excited to see my space-baby

RODDY AND ARCEE!!!! I love that Percy took over for Maccadam, but that’s also so sad!!! ALSO WHY HAS HE NOT FIXED HIS EYES, RATCHET PLEASE HELP THIS POOR GUY

Episode 22  

OHH PRETTY PLANET

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The background designers on this show are great

Rodimus: That place has nothing but bad memories for me Every Drift fan simultaneously: Mood....

I really don’t think they’ll bring Drift back (unless he’s like, a zombie, which would still suck) so that’s a bummer

Rodimus: *Talking about his trauma* Me, very distracted: Wow Bee looks really cute here

SERIOUSLY THOUGH THEY NEED RUNG IN THIS SERIES They need a therapist in every Transformers series, all these bots need therapy (though tbf they tried to give Starscream therapy and that sure didn’t help, pft)

GRIMLOCK MAYBE DON’T--oh ok too late WELL THERE THEY GO

Repugnis?? I don���t remember who that is

A CITY?????? PRETTY

INSECTICON

lmao the frickin voice actor for that grey dude cracked me up

BEE MAYBE DON’T IMMEDIATELY TRUST THEM

Energon masters???? What

Interesting that they used “She” for Grimlock

Affluence?? 

Oh great these guys are the Cybertronian bourgeoisie 

Oh boy they’re just wasting energon huh

THE SHOCKS????

That’s a pretty bubble but JEEZ

OH NO WHY CAN”T HE TRANSFORM??

WAIT WHERE”S THE AUDIO oh wait no OP did mention there was an audio dropout

Is Grimlock gonna make friends with the bugs!!!

OH RIGHT the bug is Repugnis 

Aw the bugs are way nicer than the bourgeoisie, surprising absolutely no one

HELL YEAH, EAT THE RICH GRIMLOCK

“If we let you go, things will change! We like things the way they are” jeez

I wonder how the Shocks came about

It frickin figures

PRISON BREAK BEE!!!!

EAT HIM GRIMLOCK!!!

“Well this is quite astonishing” cute....

YEAH I WAS WONDERING IF THEY HAD THE SAME ALT MODE they looked like they had bug-bits, I didn’t realize that thing was keeping them from transforming though

Episode 23   

Oh right Megatron has a Matrix of Leadership I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

I ALSO FORGOT WHIRL WAS IN THIS SERIES, MY BABY.....

JETFIRE WATCH OUT YOU BIG NERD

“Rack ‘n Ruin and Ratchet” OH IS THIS GONNA BE A RATCHET EPISODE??? PLEASE?????? PLEASE SAY RATCHET EPISODE

Aw poor Rack n Ruin...

RATCHET BABY BOY!!! I forgot he was a New Yorker in this series lmao

“I LOVE Jetfire!”  “I know, me too!” CUTE....

I love that every continuity has Ratchet stuck with someone who annoys him in a ship

I love that Ratchet’s not even concerned

RATCHET’S DESIGN IN CYBERVERSE IS SO CUTE...

Wait UNSPACE???? Isn’t that where they sent a bunch of bad people????

Different Quantum Frequencies??? Dimensionally aligned??? MAN I LOVE THIS GOOFY SHOW

“It’s a blue-purple” CUTE....

UH OH HERE COMES ASTROTRAIN throwing dead-end??

I love that Astrotrain is so HUGE compared to everyone else, thank you Cyberverse for my life

“Every time..” LMAO GOSH THIS SHOW IS LITERALLY THE BEST someone please make a gif of that. I love that this implies that every time someone rides in Astrotrain they get ejected at 100 mph and skid 50 ft face-first, that’s such a delightful mental image. I think this 5 second scene is legitimately one of my favorite goofs / scenes in this show IT’S JUST THAT GOOD

You can tell I really enjoyed something when I make a meme of it

IT”S ILLEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!!!!!

OK IT’S LEGITIMATELY A LITTLE FRIGHTENING TO SEE HOW HUGE ASTROTRAIN IS WHEN IN ATTACK-MODE, HE SO EASILY PICKED THEM UP but that’s why it’s cool for him to be SO much bigger than they are, I LOVE BIG CYBERTRONIANS

LMAO I LOVE ASTROTRAIN he’s such a turd to DeadEnd

“Time to pay Ratchet a house-call. ‘Cuz he’s a doctor!” I almost snorted my drink up my nose, I LOVE THE DORKY HUMOR IN THIS SHOW

I swear this series was made with me in mind

TWO HEADS, NO BRAINCELLS

You wonder if Shadow Striker and Soundwave ever just rock-paper-scissor to see who has to deal with the latest Autobot bs that day

“And we don’t” OH SHOOT THEY’RE BEING LEFT OUT OF THE DECEPTICON’S PLANS TOO...This is more dire than I thought

Man I really do love Shadow Striker and Soundwave, they’re the only competent Decepticons

OH NO NOT RATCHET!!! NO!!!!!

Ohh so Astrotrain is still a triple changer in this series!! :O

WOW A SHOT TO THE HEAD REALLY DIDN”T DO ANYTHING HUH

REST IN PIECES DEADEND lmao he and Percy both have good survival stats it seems

NICE MOVES GRANDPA glad your hips still work lol

Oh good I’m glad they actually kept the purple thing

RIP Rack n Ruin

DEADEND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS

YEAHHHHH SHADOW STRIKER AND SOUNDWAVE!!!!!

“You’ve been told this area is off-limits” Oh shoot so Megatron really doesn’t trust them with this huh??? Must be some serious stuff they saw while universe-hopping

“Make us” SOUNDWAVE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY SASSY BOY

Love that he’s pissing off this dude who’s literally 4 times his height, love my son

Shadow Striker & Soundwave are Goth / Jock solidarity

Ratchet: Yeah yeah yeah I know Cuteeee

Wow they’re really not gonna help Shadow Striker and Soundwave????

THEY’RE LITERALLY JUST DOLL-SIZE IN HIS HANDS which is probably a not great reminder for Soundwave after that Dr. Tentacle Dude incident

Astrotrain: *bops their faces together* heehee Soundwave: BI Shadow Striker: >8(

JEEZ, BYE ASTROTRAIN

THE STYLE IS SO JARRING I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE UNSPACE AND HOW IT LOOKS (especially when contrasted with the regular drawing-style of the show. Really great artistic choice!)

Oh shoot so Astrotrain can just leave whenever huh

Aw what cute high fives, man this show has such good vibes

Episode 24  

NOOOO ONLY THREE EPISODES LEFT.....

:(((((

WINDLBADE!!!! I hope she’ll be ok

DID it work?? Wait you guys still have two frickin shards left, YOU”RE SO BAD AT THIS

A SHARK????? WTF

HE JUST PICKED HER UP AND DIPPED WTF WHO IS THAT

It’s not Skybyte obviously but he’s a shark too so WHO IS THAT

OHH IS THAT THE HALL OF RECORDS???? 

Wait wtf the Decepticons are attacking?? Oh wait RACK N RUIN DID YOU REALLY TELL THEM THAT

OH NO HE FROZE

WHOA  WHAT”S HAPPENING

WHAT OPTIMUS NO

WHAT”S HAPPENING!!!!! WTF

I WAS GONNA MAKE A BSOD JOKE BUT I TAKE IT ALL BACK OPTIMUS PLEASE BE OK YOU CAN’T DIE IN THIS SERIES

Is this referencing the other time when he glitched oh no....I knew that’d come back to bite us

In other news, I love that we’re learning more about the life and (cyber)biology of Cybertron, I’m so glad we got to have pretty much almost the entire series set on Cybertron

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THAT!!! THAT’S SO COOL!!! This is the stuff I want to see in Transformers shows!!!

Hasbro could literally make a nature documentary set on Cybertron and I’d be ecstatic. Gimme more details about their world and architecture and city stuff

“Fellow Primes, why have I been summoned?” Oh shoot so the other past primes can just jack OP’s consciousness whenever??? That frickin sucks. I do love the Atlantis vibes I’m ge HOLY FRICK IS THAT MAC

AHHHHHHHH MACCADAM!!!!!!!!!!! GRANDPA!!!!!!! PLEASE GIVE OPTIMUS DAD ADVICE!!!!!! IM SO GLAD WE GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN

Chromia: Bee are you crazy?? Bee: YES! *jumps off the ship*

I love that this weird storm cloud area is basically like an ocean, that’s so cool

OH NO BEE!!!!!!!

Jeez that startled me, the shark sounds just like Bee

“Well you’re doing a scrap job” lmao Chromia please

Oh it’s the Argon Sea, it IS an ocean pft

“An ancient evil” hooo boy

BEE he’s so cute. Wait don’t just jump down a random hole AT LEAST WAIT FOR CHROMIA

CREEPY TENTACLE STUFF AGAIN, JEEZ CYBERVERSE

KICK HIS BUTT CHROMIA

Aw man, not you too Bee

MISTRESS OF FLAME!!!! I get so excited about every IDW reference haha, I love Caminus and I love that they’re letting that still exist

JEEZ THAT”S NOT CREEPY AT ALL

Is this a Titan???? IT IS A TITAN

It’s like a Cthulu titan huh

Chromia: That is THE creepiest thing I’ve ever heard THANK YOU CHROMIA, SAME THOUGHT

Chromia’s just like “This doesn’t even come close to my Top 10 list of BS I’ve had to deal with lately”

More weird smoke, oh great

JEEZ THAT’S A FREAKY TITAN

Me, crying softly: GAY RIGHTS....(and Bee). MAN THE FRIENSHIPS IN THIS SHOW ARE SO GREAT :’)

ALCHEMIST PRIME!!!!!!!!! I FRICKIN KNEW YOU WERE A PRIME

“But this is not about me” I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU THOUGH

Wait why is a part of Windblade in Megatron’s Matrix

WHY WOULD THEY ALSO BE IN THE OTHER MATRIX oh they mean alt-universe them

It’s frickin HYSTERICAL that every time Optimus has some ~deep spiritual~ conversation with the past Primes he’s just standing there frozen while the Autobots wait for him to unfreeze like he’s some kind of ancient computer doing updates. Like, that’s legitimately one of the funniest pieces of information canon’s given us so far, thank you for my life Cyberverse writers.

I wonder if Arcee and the other bots ever take selfies with him while he’s frozen like that THERE’S SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR COMEDY HERE

Optimus: *is frozen for a couple hours while talking to old Primes* Autobots: *put on PJs and unroll their sleeping bags so they can have a slumber party while waiting for him*

Heck now I’m just imagining them playing truth or dare or some similar game while waiting for Optimus to wake up. 

I’m sure at some point during their voyage on the Ark, Optimus froze and they all played the “who can do this silly / embarrassing thing in front of Optimus and get away with it before he wakes up” game. Like, Rodimus somersaults down the hall while spouting fire in front of Optimus, Bee does a handstand while singing the alphabet backwards, etc, and whoever’s in front of Optimus when he “wakes up” loses. (It’d be even funnier if Optimus kept pretending to be frozen while they played until someone did something REALLY embarrassing and he unfroze to freak them out. Then again, the Matrix going back into his chest would probably be too much of a giveaway huh)

OH NO I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN THE EUPHORIA OF THIS IDEA I FORGOT THERE’S ONLY TOO EPISODES LEFT NOW....

Episode 25

I love Astrotrain’s design (both in bot-mode and his alt mode) because he just looks like a grumpy evil train and that makes me so happy.

Also RAIN!!! I love rain and this looks so pretty

LMAO ASTROTRAIN YOU’RE SUCH A TURD I had no opinion of him before this show but now I frickin love him

HE PULLED THE CHAIR OUT FROM UNDER HIM

“I HAVE HIS MATRIX” OH NO DID HE STEAL THIS FROM SHATTERED GLASS’ OPTIMUS OH FRICK

Megatron running like that while holding the Matrix in his hands reminds me so vividly of a younger sibling stealing their older sibling’s diary and fleeing at top-speed from said older sibling and that’s hilarious to me. Megatron is so petty

Dang, so that’s how his eye got messed up. Ngl it’s a good look

CYBER COWS!!!!

Wow that wall is so WEAK the Decepticons are so dumb lmao

Oh yeah they have a new furry on their team

Rodimus: Math isn’t my strong-suit.

Arcee: Especially me!  Arcee you are ADORABLE

OH SHOOT MEGATRON CAN TALK TO THE PAST PRIMES TOO...DANG

WINDBLADE!!! MAKE WINDBLADE A PRIME YOU COWARDS

Ok I know I said “Shattered-Glass Optimus” earlier but based on that spoiler some moron on Twitter posted, IT’S PROBABLY TARN...man I wish I hadn’t seen that spoiler but despite that IM STILL EXCITED

Makes you wonder how TARN got the Matrix though (not that I can’t guess 8( )

Oh my gosh I just realized we have the potential to see Windblade kick Tarn’s butt in this series. Cyberverse PLEASE, I’D LOVE TO SEE THAT

Ah so Astrotrain is the new scientist

Ur bugs are probably dead dude

LASERBEAK!!!!

RAVAGE??? Oh no that’s the furry dude MAN I GET SO EXCITED EVERY TIME, I KEEP FORGETTING

As much as I Die for loyal Soundwave, it’s really cool seeing him being his own character and acting on his own in this series and trusting his own judgement / surveillance! It’s so good. Soundwave you’re so smart (and I love that he loves Laserbeak :’) )

*SOBBING* CASE IN POINT...HE PET THE BABY..

OHOHO IT”S *THE* INSECTICONS

Oh shoot the Insecticons are deserting 

“No one can stop him. Not even you” dang son

“He doesn’t want us. He wants you” OH BOY

MY BABY WHIRL!!!! THAT’S MY BOY

SEEKERS!!! I forgot we still had a few who Starscream didn’t frickin kill

NICE JUMP-ATTACK OPTIMUS I love that he cuts the dude’s weapon in half meanwhile Grimlock just frickin eats the guy lmao. So much for Optimus’ mercy

FRICK FRICK FRICK IT IS TARN

OK TARN OBJECTIVELY SUCKS BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ACTUALLY DO LOVE HIM BECAUSE HOLY FRICK IS HE A DANGEROUS CHARACTER AND THERE’S SO MUCH TO PLAY WITH THERE, I CANT WAIT TO SEE HIM AND HOW THEY USE HIM FOR THE STORY AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dead End: Yeah, I see your point Lmao I love this guy

Everyone’s gonna frickin die in this series

OH NO WHIRL oh wait yeah he and Dead End know each other, Whirl’s fine

SOUNDWAVE CAN YOU AND SHADOW STRIKER CHILL FOR 2 SECONDS

I love Skybyte’s voice

WOW MEGATRON, YOU”RE ONLY PROTECTING HALF THE PLANET, JEEZ

OH SHOOT

OH SHOOT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh so that’s why they had a wall, Megatron you turd

WHIRL NO!!!!!!! oh he’s fine thank goodness

Did Megatron get taller??? He looks taller than Optimus now

Just use Optimus’ matrix you big baby

“It’s time I called in that debt you owe me. Now it’s time for you to save me” I LEGITIMATELY SHRIEKED OUT LOUD, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

THERE HE IS, THERE HE IS THERE HE IS!!!!!!!

SCREW PAST ME’S OPINION, TARN IS FRICKIN COOL AS HELL

OH SHOOT THERE’S A TON OF HIM WTF

WHERE’S THAT FRICKIN “THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS, THERE!!! IT!!! IS!!!” MEME BECAUSE THAT’S BEEN ME THIS ENTIRE EPISODE HOLY HECK

Episode 26

MORE PRIME NAMES!!! A) that’s very pretty B) LEGIT THOUGH IF WINDBLADE’S THE ONE WHO KICKS TARN’S BUTT I’LL GO APE

OH FRICK IF OPTIMUS IS THERE THEN TARN REALLY DID KILL HIM or it means he beefed it in that universe, as he usually does

“I wish I’d gotten to know you better” 8((((((

What happened to Alt!Universe Optimus!!!!!!! How did you die!!!

Windblade: Optimus, you’re speaking in riddles... Optimus: I always do, it comes with the job of Prime. Windblade: Oh right

“A perfect Decepticon race” HOO BOYZY.....

“All because I spared your life” MAN THAT HURTS

At least they aren’t attacking them right now?

HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY RESOLVE THIS SERIES IN 10 MINUTES

ASTROTRAIN YOU COWARD not that I blame him, every bot for themself I guess

OH NO THE HURT PUPPY WHINE MAKES ME SO SAD

HELL YEAH SOUNDWAVE SAVE MY BABY BEE

I TAKE IT BACK TARN IS CANCELED, HE HIT SOUNDWAVE

*AND* HE GRABBED CHROMIA, YOU”RE CANCELED, ALL THESE CLONES ARE CANCELED

SOUNDWAVE IS THE ONLY VALID DECEPTICON

Optimus: Can’t keep-- Megatron: WE MUST! Me: *SOBS*

OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON BACK-TO-BACK FIGHTING AHHHHHHHHHH, IT”S THE LITTLE-THINGS

Definitely not the right time for this joke but: AU where instead of saying “Powers of Cybertron, unite!” they say “GAY RIGHTS” to activate their Matrix powers

Frick what if they kill MEGATRON in this series

HECK YEAH EVERYONE’S GETTING AN UPGRADE

Megatron: We must join our Matrixes together! Optimus: Now REALLY isn’t the best time for a marriage proposal Megatron: What Optimus: What

Thank you for telling Optimus to get down for once instead of just blasting him AND the Tarn-copies, Megatron

OH FRICK IT IS ALT-UNIVERSE MEGATRON NOT TARN WHO’S THE BIG BAD

I LEGIT STOPPED BREATHING DURING THIS ENTIRE SEQUENCE AHHHH

THIS IS INFINITELY BETTER (AND WORSE) THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THAT MEANS ALT!UNIVERSE MEGATRON DID KILL OPTIMUS...MEANWHILE OUR UNIVERSE’S MEGATRON SPARED OPTIMUS...MAN THAT HURTS ME SO BAD

MEGATRON NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OPTIMUS SAVE HIM SAVE HIM PLEASE SOMEHOW SAVE HIM!!!!!

OPTIMUS LITERALLY FRICKIN RAN ACROSS THE ROOM TO CATCH HIM, MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS DRAMA

NO!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN”T DO THIS TO ME CYBERVERSE

“Prime...one shall stand...one shall....” THIS IS THE SADDEST FRICKIN THING THAT”S HAPPENED IM LEGIT GONNA CRY, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Hold on...my friend...” IM GONNA BAWL MY EYES OUT OPTIMUS

I legit had to take a moment to get up and do a lap around my room while processing what happened LIKE OK I KNOW THEY PROBABLY (???) WON’T PERMA-KILL MEGATRON BUT FRICK DUDE THAT WAS SO EMOTIONAL

MEGAOP RIGHTS....BUT AT WHAT COST

What’s fricking me up rn (granted, several things are fricking me up right now) is that this universe’s Megatron knew he could’ve achieved his goals if he’d just killed Optimus. He said so himself; he could’ve had it all but he failed “all because I spared your [Optimus’] life”. Whatever he saw in that other universe convinced him that killing Optimus just wasn’t worth it (or perhaps, deep deep DEEP down, he really doesn’t want to kill his old friend).

I’m rewatching that last minute and this feels like a frickin fanfiction. I’m Living but also Dying

I KNOW THIS IS A VERY TENSE SCENE BUT MEGATRON’S “I won’t pay for anything!” MADE ME LAUGH

SOUNDWAVE STANDING BETWEEN SHADOW-STRIKER AND MEGATRON!!!!!!!!! STANDING UP TO MEGATRON!!!! SOBS I LOVE SOUNDWAVE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO PLEASE BE CAREFUL MY SWEET BOY!!!!! IF YOU GET HURT ILL NEVER BE OVER IT

Two reasons he could’ve done that: to keep Shadow Striker from getting super pissed off and lashing out at this enemy who’s way above their level, or because the “jacked up Frankenstein experiment” thing is a sore subject for her and Soundwave recognizes that (and frankly I’m leaning toward option B because SOBS....I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP)

GOTH FRIENDS!!!

OH OK THANK GOODNESS, MEGATRON ISN’T DEAD DEAD YET

Dang so Megatron did kill Optimus

OH NO WE’RE GETTING A FLASHBACK

FRICK THAT”S SO GRUESOME, HE JUST RIPPED OPTIMUS’ CHEST OPEN

YOU ALREADY KNOW THE MOST PERFECT DECEPTICON, HIS NAME IS SOUNDWAVE!!! YOU JUST DON’T APPRECIATE HIM YOU BIG BULLY

Oh shoot so the Quints came to that world too

DANG HE JUST WRECKED THEIR SHIP HUH....

I’m loving this throwback to the IDW design

WOW Y’ALL JUST IMMEDIATELY WENT “SURE WE’RE ONBOARD” (I mean, good way to stay alive but C’MON GUYS....)

“I have no need for any of you” WHOOPS SO MUCH FOR THAT should’ve seen that coming

THIS SUCKS SO BAD

NONONONO!!!! MEGATRON!!!!

HECK NOW HE HAS THE MATRIX

wow you guys really just let Megatron fall to the floor COME ON OPTIMUS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SMOOTH MOVES

NICE ONE BEE!!!!!!

YEAH WERE ARE ARCEE AND HOT ROD

FRICK YEAH WHIRL, MESS HIM UP!!!!!!!!!

YEAH SHADOW STRIKER!!!!!!

RATCHET PUNCHING TARN HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

FRICK HE CAN JUST MATERIALIZE LIKE THAT TOO

WELL THAT DIDN’T LAST LONG

BEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“And now you will pay the price...for being a hero” DANG THAT”S A COOL LINE BUT DON’T HURT MY BOY

FRICK HIM UP OPTIMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WINDBLADE NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO SAVE EVERYONE

YEAHHHH WINDBLADE!!!!!!!

Yeah don’t turn your back on the body please

YO Astrotrain came back

ASTROTRAIN THAT SOUNDS SO CREEPY AND ALSO THAT’S SUCH A BAD IDEA, JUST KILL HIM

I know this is a kid’s show but PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO MAKE SURE HE WON’T POP BACK UP IN A FEW YEARS WITH ANOTHER ARMY

IM GLAD WINDBLADE IS BACK AND IM LOVING THE HUG BUT DID MEGATRON LEGIT FRICKIN DIE????

WHAT!!! WHAT THAT CAN’T BE IT!?!?!? HOW COULD YOU END IT LIKE THAT NO!!!!!!! THAT WAS SO ABRUPT nO!!!!!!!!!! 

The last few episodes were such an adrenaline rush I CAN”T BELIEVE WE CAME DOWN FROM THAT HIGH SO QUICKLY....IS MEGATRON ALIVE??? KICKSTARTER TO FUND ONE MORE EPISODE???? SPARE ANOTHER EPISODE FOR A POOR FAN???

MAN I wish we could’ve stayed in the universe of this show for a little longer but dang!!! That was really really good!!! I’m so grateful we got to have such a wonderful series like Cyberverse! :’) Thank you to everyone who worked on this incredible show!!!

Man now I gotta wait for WfC for new Transformers content....at least I can look through the tag w/out getting spoiled now

A few more thoughts now that I’ve re-read my liveblog:

If Megatron could hop into the Matrix of Leadership he possessed, I wonder if he ever had a chance to talk to that universe’s Optimus Prime... :( based on what he said, probably not, but that makes me so sad!!!! Did they ever get the chance to work things out!!! IS MEGATRON ALIVE OR NOT.....

[tsuuyuri]

tw for suicide, death, eating disorders, fat-shaming, skinny-shaming, anxiety, depression, bullying, etc. just don’t read if you aren’t in a good place. 

i swear to god. 

any knetizen (because yes, this is a specifically a knet problem) that sits back after sulli’s death and acts like they didnt treat her like a piece of meat to buy and sell and eat and spit out and call too fat and too skinny and so selfish and so ugly and so “out of line” like she was some evil snake when she was always just a girl being herself, expressing herself, being different from the “traditional ideal korean woman”, struggling with mental illness and eating disorders in an industry that is stressful and unhealthy and cruel and with “fans” who are absolutely nobody in comparison to who she was that sit in their homes and talk trash about her body, her “attitude”, her sex life, and whatever else on the internet for fun. 

i am sick and tired of people making excuses for korean misogyny and toxic beauty standards because “oh it’s a different culture”, whatever! a culture that promotes sink or swim standards in its education system and requires everyone gets plastic surgery no matter what in order to be considered worth anything needs to fucking change! it’s killing people and it’s been killing people for a long time! south korea has one of the highest suicide rates in the world. koreans and honestly everyone need to wake up and stop acting like this is just “crazy celebrities” because it’s not. they’re just the ones we all hear about. you don’t hear about the teenager 5 blocks down who committed suicide last week after being bullied for being gay. you don’t hear about the student that committed suicide last month because they aren’t an academic person and their parents called them stupid and punished them for not having top grades. we don’t hear about them because they aren’t famous. but we need to look at these famous people who we think have everything that makes life worth living, commit suicide and understand how much that shit probably happens with just regular ole people. for every celebrity who kills themselves, there’s 10 more non-celebrities. 

every time someone innocent commits suicide, it’s murder. it’s murder by society. it’s murder by people who tear them apart until they can’t be sewn back together again and then wonder how it could happen. 

sulli was anorexic. being anorexic is so, so fucking painful and hard and awful and it’s so much deeper than just being “pretty”. sometimes it’s needing to feel like you have something in your life under control. sometimes it’s wanting to be smaller so maybe people can’t see you anymore because you were abused. sometimes it’s just wanting to die slowly. i went to an inpatient ward 3 times by the time i turned 18 and had tubes shoved down my nose and throat because i just couldn’t eat a thing without panicking and feeling guilty. the anxiety and depression after i got out each time was so crippling that i couldn’t leave my house. i can’t even imagine getting on stage and performing in that state like people criticized sulli for not doing. “oh she’s lazy, she’s selfish, she’s not taking it seriously, she’s just acting like a princess!” she’s a young girl who was having panic attacks, being told her body type isn’t right to be an idol, who was depressed, who wasn’t sleeping enough hours. she was sick. and you made her even more sick. who the hell would want to perform for people who don’t appreciate it? negative words outweigh positive ones. netizens know that. be honest with yourself. they thought it was fun to poke at someone. they felt good talking bad about someone. they thought it was “okay” because she’s a celebrity and apparently when you sign a contract in the kpop industry, your humanity dies and nobody has to think about how their words and actions make you feel anymore. 

women in kpop are attacked all the fucking time for doing normal things. 

i looked at pictures of sulli when she looked her healthiest and i thought she was beautiful. koreans called her flat, flabby, said she had cankles, thick legs, called her fucking sulliphant. i looked at pictures of sulli when she was so thin she should’ve been in a hospital like i had been and i was scared for her but her smile was still beautiful. koreans criticized her for “getting shots and liposuction, oh it’s not natural, the bruises aren’t pretty” or praised her for finally not being “ugly” and having a pretty bodyline, having skinny legs, and for finally discovering the “true wealth of a woman is her looks” and the worst part, some still called her sulliphant and fat and ugly when she was easily under 100 lbs. it’s just unfair. it’s so unfair and horrible and it happens every day, to every female idol, some less and some more, and it happens to every single woman and even men now in some places. 

and now, im sitting here sobbing, not just because i regret not being a bigger support when sulli needed that even though it’s not my fault i wasn’t as aware of kpop, but also because i know if i were a kpop idol while going through depression, anxiety disorder, panic attacks, paranoia, and anorexia nervosa... i would be dead. i would have been dead years ago. i would be just like sulli. bullied to death by her own mind and by people who think you are their doll to throw around. 

no one should have to “stay strong” through comments like that. not a celebrity, not anyone. no one. 

korean beauty standards need an overhaul. i have had enough. anorexic isn’t beautiful. it’s painful. it should not be a singer’s job to be nice to look at in a very particular and unnatural way that only 10% of people are born looking like. 

sulli having a boyfriend got koreans so fucking angry, calling her unprofessional, a cock-sucking whore, a slut, whatever other disgusting words you can think of, but men were just as quick to ogle her and take photos up her skirt for their own enjoyment because “oh well she’s an idol, that’s what she’s there for”. women were jealous of sulli for having access to handsome and rich men they wouldn’t because she’s an idol and they’re not, so they shamed her for it. men weren’t mad about sulli having a sex life, they were mad about sulli having a sex life that didn’t involve her fucking them, so they shamed her for it. sulli was just being a person. but being a person isn’t congruent with being an idol, for some reason. 

sulli spiraled into reckless behavior and they blamed her for that too when they drove her to it. 

“she’s a celebrity, it’s what she signed up for.” 

no. she didn’t. she signed up to sing, dance, and make people happy. she didn’t sign up for people to tear her apart. 

his case is significantly different, but it’s a part of an epidemic all the same, so i’ll mention him once and not again: jonghyun didn’t pass away just for south korea to learn nothing about ignoring and shaming mental illness and torment another already tortured idol into leaving too.  

this isn’t simple cause and effect, this is prolonged bullying and attacking someone, beating them again and again until they can’t stand up again. this isn’t an isolated issue. it’s years of criticizing, terrorizing, dehumanizing, ignoring, and taking for granted, that leads to one very horrible, very permanent, very quick outcome. 

so yeah. any knet who says “rest in peace sulli” needs to rethink if they really deserve to be saying that. if you ever called this poor girl names, criticized her body as not “aesthetically pleasing”, shamed her for being in a relationship and having sex as a grown woman, sexualized her regularly, exploited her, and/or contributed at all to her feeling this horrifically bad about herself to the point she felt alienated from everyone and like she couldn’t continue living... you don’t get to grieve. you get to feel guilty. you get to feel horrible about what you said and did to this woman who was only human, and who was ostracized for being herself and for appearing strong until she couldn’t anymore. 

sulli, you are not a bad person. you are an angel now and forever. i wish we had done better for you. rest in peace, sweet girl, and know i will always think of you. you will never be just a memory. you are alive through those who truly love you and know you. 

and if you or anyone you know is struggling with bullying, depression, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, etc., as always, please reach out and get the help you deserve. support is a phone call away. you never walk alone. even if it’s a complete stranger, there are people who want to help and who want you to live on. i want you to live on. i want us all to fight these demons and to work toward a better future. it is possible. we can and must do better. we can and must love ourselves and each other. 

be kind, take care, ask for help, give help. 

celebrity, non-celebrity, women, men, children, black, white, asian, latinx, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, non-binary, cishet, disabled, able-bodied, neuroatypical, neurotypical, etc. we are all human. 

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

1: Name

Sarah

2: Age

23

3: Fears

Everything, I have anxiety

4: 3 things I love

Dogs, weird movies, sunsets over water

5: 4 turns on

Long hair, facial piercings, good sense of humor, back muscles

6: 4 turns off

Poor hygiene, rude to service workers, adults who are still obsessed with Disney to the point where they make it a personality trait, Trump supporters (or the equivalent in other countries)

7: My best friend

@wanderingwondererofthings

8: Sexual orientation

Bi? I think? IDK not straight tho

9: My best first date

I’ve only ever been on one date in my life and the dude ghosted me afterward which turned out to be a blessing bc it was not a good time in my life to try to start a relationship

10: How tall am I

5′2″

11: What do I miss

Mental stability

12: What time were I born

3:45 am or thereabouts

13: Favourite color

black

14: Do I have a crush

celebrity crushes but I don’t really count those

15: Favourite quote

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

16: Favourite place

bundled up under a heap of blankets by myself in a dark room with good snacks and a good book/movie

17: Favourite food

chocolate

18: Do I use sarcasm

do i

19: What am I listening to right now

my housemate doing laundry

20: First thing I notice in new person

what they’re wearing

21: Shoe size

womens 7

22: Eye color

brown

23: Hair color

brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

love that goth shit

25: Ever done a prank call?

not that i can remember

26: Meaning behind my URL

adam darski’s true form

27: Favourite movie

Ink (2009) dir. jamin winans

28: Favourite song

UHHHHHHHHHHH

29: Favourite band

Eluveitie

30: How I feel right now

like shit lol

31: Someone I love

My friends

32: My current relationship status

single

33: My relationship with my parents

it’s good and i’m very grateful

34: Favourite holiday

the day after halloween when all the candy goes on sale

35: Tattoos and piercing I have

none

36: Tattoos and piercings I want

seriously considering getting my eyebrow pierced soon. if I ever cut my hair short i’ll pierce my ears

37: The reason I joined Tumblr

to follow an art blog that made amazing JTHM fan art

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

what ex

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yeah from my mom

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

yeah it was my mom

41: When did I last hold hands?

yesterday with my grandma

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

takes me well over an hour to actually get up but then like 3o minutes tops

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

no

44: Where am I right now?

in my room

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

i’ve never been that drunk because i hate hangovers

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

reasonable level unless i’m at a concert

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

not anymore

48: Am I excited for anything?

sexy eggman is coming to san francisco

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

no

50: How often do I wear a fake smile?

basically whenever i have to talk to strangers

51: When was the last time I hugged someone?

yesterday

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

my mom is allowed to kiss other people it’s okay

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i don’t think so?

54: What is something I disliked about today?

i’m tired of being tired

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my soulmate

56: What do I think about most?

spirals of existential dread

57: What’s my strangest talent?

I have no talents lol

58: Do I have any strange phobias?

going down stairs. i’m fine going up them but going down them freaks me out

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

depends on my mood and whether or not i’m ugly that day

60: What was the last lie I told?

“I’m okay”

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

In person or don’t fucking talk to me

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes

63: Do I believe in magic?

idk. i believe there’s things that happen that we can’t explain yet so maybe that’s magic

64: Do I believe in luck?

i believe in good chances

65: What’s the weather like right now?

dark

66: What was the last book I’ve read?

The Habitation of the Blessed by Catherynne Valente

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

yes as long as i don’t have a headache or stomachache

68: Do I have any nicknames?

just dumb shit my mom calls me

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

worst acute injury was the time i tripped onto an outdoor heater in kindergarten and burned the shit out of my hand. i also have a stress fracture in my spine that will never heal from gymnastics but that happened over a matter of years

70: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but i spend a little too much

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

with a tongue? yes. with my tongue? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

my fluffy pillow

73: Favourite animal?

take a wild fucking guess

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

trying unsuccessfully to sleep

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Columbus

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

That Time of the Month by Harley Poe

77: How can you win my heart?

be a dog

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

ceci n’est pas un corps

79: What is my favorite word?

sussuration or cathedral

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

this is the internet equivalent of the judgment of paris

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

eat the rich

82: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not currently

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

shapeshifting bitch

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

i’ll say anything on the internet i don’t give a shit

85: What is my current desktop picture?

86: Had sex?

no

87: Bought condoms?

no

88: Gotten pregnant?

no

89: Failed a class?

yeah, fuck ochem

90: Kissed a boy?

no

91: Kissed a girl?

 no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

no

93: Had job?

i’ve got one right now

94: Left the house without my wallet?

yeah lol

95: Bullied someone on the internet?

no

96: Had sex in public?

no

97: Played on a sports team?

i ran track for a couple years as a kid

98: Smoked weed?

yup

99: Did drugs?

no

100: Smoked cigarettes?

ew no

101: Drank alcohol?

yuppers

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

no

103: Been overweight?

no

104: Been underweight?

yes

105: Been to a wedding?

yes

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

only 5?

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

only 5??

108: Been outside my home country?

yes

109: Gotten my heart broken?

yes but not romantically

110: Been to a professional sports game?

many

111: Broken a bone?

nope

112: Cut myself?

not on purpose

113: Been to prom?

yeah and it sucked and i wish i hadn’t gone

114: Been in airplane?

yes

115: Fly by helicopter?

no but I want to

116: What concerts have I been to?

a multitude

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeah lol

118: Learned another language?

can I give this one a half a yes?

119: Wore make up?

yup

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

no

121: Had oral sex?

no

122: Dyed my hair?

yes

123: Voted in a presidential election?

yes

124: Rode in an ambulance?

no

125: Had a surgery?

do wisdom teeth count?

126: Met someone famous?

yup, holla atcha doug jones

127: Stalked someone on a social network?

no, i don’t care that much

128: Peed outside?

who hasn’t?

129: Been fishing?

no

130: Helped with charity?

i’ve donated some money

131: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah but a) I never actually asked him out, b) we were 12, and c) turns out he’s gay so like i’m not made about it

132: Broken a mirror?

no

133: What do I want for birthday?

a new laptop

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

why would i want kids

135: Was I named after anyone?

my great uncle and great grandmother

136: Do I like my handwriting?

i have no opinion on it

137: What was my favourite toy as a child?

legos or something similar you can build with

138: Favourite Tv Show?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

139: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere near the ocean

140: Play any musical instrument?

i wish

141: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i only have acne scars and those are pretty self-explanatory

142: Favourite pizza toping?

sausage, bell pepper, and onion

143: Am I afraid of the dark?

no

144: Am I afraid of heights?

sometimes

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

no, i’m a good girl

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end

yeah, FUCK OCHEM

147: What I’m really bad at

being a functioning human adult person

148: What my greatest achievments are

not killing myself in college

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

idk man i get upset by everything even when it’s not mean

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

pay off my friends’ and family’s debts, set aside a big chunk of money for grad school, maybe get my own place depending on how much is left

151: What do I like about myself

i have nice hair

152: My closest Tumblr friend

idk

153: Something I fantasise about

what don’t i fantasize about

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?

hey demons come and get y’all juice

[meshkol]

I'm personally not a big fan of DrPepperony, mostly because I don't know how to write Pepper and I generally don't write porn with female characters, so I do hope that the lack of said porn isn't too much of a disappointment. Still, I kinda like this regardless, and I had fun with it, even if it doesn't fill the prompt to a T. Also, it's unbeta'd af, and has the added bonus of filling A-5 for my Tony Stark Bingo 2019 card: Cinderella Story (in a highly unconventional manner lmao). Enjoy, and feel free to prompt me more for my Bingo Card!

Also read on ao3.

-----

Pepper comes in at half-past four and blinks.

After so many years of being Tony’s PA, then boss, then girlfriend, then fiancée, she likes to think that she’s seen it all. Tony’s never been a shy man, nor has he ever been particularly shameful – Tony Stark is a conundrum and a complete wild card, even in his predictability, so he’s gotten himself into some crazy situations that Pepper’s walked in on, berated him for, or teased him mercilessly about. Let it be known that Pepper’s not shy either, and that’s why she’s a damned good CEO of the biggest conglomerate on the planet.

Honestly, Tony dabbling with employees isn’t exactly out-of-the-norm (obviously, considering Pepper herself, and the gossip mags are still having a field day with that one), and, of course, Tony’s always been a fan of roleplay too, so it’s not like she’s really surprised by what she’s seeing.

Except she is.

Pepper’s always liked Stephen Strange, which isn’t really a surprise to anyone who knows her. He’s her type – sharp, smart, a bit of a dork, kind, unbelievably soft behind closed doors, a thousand other things that makes her heart flutter and her cheeks flush – and he’s good for Tony too. It’s nice having him around, because Pepper can talk to an adult for once and Tony can get his geek on with a fellow swot, not to mention that they take care of each other out in the field too. She doesn’t even want to count how many times the two of them have jumped into the middle of a fight to keep each other safe, and Pepper’s always going to be thankful for that. She already has enough worry and stress in her life knowing that both of them are fighting and saving the world, but the comfort of knowing they have each other to lean on is relieving.

Stephen is straight-laced and arrogant, a remnant of his neurosurgery days, and a wry, bizarre little shit from his current profession as the Sorcerer Supreme. It’s a juxtaposition that shouldn’t make sense, but somehow it works on him, especially considering the gibberish he talks that makes him sound like an alien sometimes. He’s very proper and maintained, meticulous and stern, sardonic and baffling, and Pepper’s never really seen a deviation of that over the year of Stephen being intimate with Tony.

Seeing him like this? Well. She thought she’d seen everything, but apparently not.

“Tony...” she says slowly, watching Stephen as he cleans off a bartop with careful precision. From the corner of her eyes, she can see Tony practically skipping towards her with a huge grin on his face, showing every tooth in his mouth, but she can’t quite take her eyes off Stephen quietly doing what the cleaning crew is employed for, and who could even blame her anyway?

Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme and widely considered to be the best neurosurgeon that’s ever practised, is dressed in a skimpy, oddly flattering maid’s costume. It’s short and revealing, with a dipping neckline that shows off the tops of his pink nipples, and the sleeves and skirt are poofing out, ruffles swaying with every movement he makes. It’s short enough that Pepper can see lacey white knickers on his arse, the boyfriend-cut not enough to hide the swell of his arse as it peeks through the bottom, just barely cutting into the crease, and the white lace matches the shockingly white sheer stockings that stretch up his lean, muscular legs, gartered up mid-thigh. He has a pair of simple, heeled Mary Janes on, more innocent than six-inch stilettos would be, but it still emphasises the bulge of his calves underneath sheer fabric. A matching lace choker around his neck, a small bow in his hair, and long white gloves complete the ensemble.

Pepper immediately wonders what the bet is, and who’s winning.

“Welcome home, babe!” Tony greets happily, pecking her on the cheek chastely before wrapping an arm around Pepper’s shoulders, focussing his attention on Stephen as well as he thunks his head gently against hers. “I see you’ve become aware of our pretty Cinderella.”

“Tony...” she says again, and this time there’s a hint of you-better-explain-yourself-now in her tone.

Tony sniggers for a second, then brandishes a remote in his free hand as he explains with deliberate nonchalance, “Well, you see, we were arguing about how Stephen is a terrible snob – which is rich, coming from me – and he said that he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself without needing help, which I thought was hilarious. I mean, you know as well as I do that he’s adorably messy, always leaving his clothes on the floor when he’s getting naked or not wanting to shower after I’ve come all over him, so we made a deal.”

Pepper fights the urge to roll her eyes at their predictable brand of crazy and says, “Let me guess, he has to do...that until midnight?”

Tony thunks her head again with his and answers cheerfully, “Sure does! Wanna see him dance?”

“I—” she starts, but she doesn’t manage to finish, because Tony’s pressing a button on the remote and suddenly Stephen’s knees buckle, hands flailing for purchase before he slams his gloved forearms against the bartop, the cleaning cloth squeezed between his fingers. His entire body shivers, hips twitching into the perfect position for the overhead lights to shine directly on Stephen’s dolled-up body, and suddenly Pepper can see the sheen of viscous liquid on the bare strip of Stephen’s inner thighs and hear the faint buzz of a toy.

“Tony!” she exclaims, mouth dropping open, and she’s not sure whether she’s fascinated by the sight of Stephen’s countenance or if she’s just completely flummoxed that Stephen’s allowing this.

Pepper’s sex-positive and fairly blasé about sex in general, so she knows what her fiancé and boyfriend get up to. She knows that Stephen’s an adventurous man in the bedroom – she’s seen it first-hand, more times than she can count, since they’re always fooling around with each other and always trying to one-up the other to boot – but she also knows that Stephen generally makes Tony dress in pretty things (or Pepper herself, but that’s for the aesthetic). Seeing it the other way around is already jarring, and knowing that Stephen’s apparently getting off on doing household chores (my dreaded enemy, he likes to say sometimes in that dramatic way he has) in a skimpy maid’s costume while something buzzes inside him?

Well.

Well.

“It’s great, right?” Tony quips with a squeeze, pulling her close. “I mean, don’t worry babe, I’ve been periodically taking it out for more lube – I need to build one that has a secreting function, but it’d need a reservoir, so it’ll be tricky – so I’m being super careful. In fact...” He pecks her on the cheek again and then walks towards Stephen, practically strutting and eyes bright with arousal. Now that he’s in her line of vision, she can see that he looks well-rested and comfortable, in a threadbare shirt with the sleeves shucked up to his elbows and a pair of Stephen’s flannel pyjama bottoms which do nothing to hide the swell of his prick.

As he turns off the vibrating plug and then slowly pulls down Stephen’s lace knickers to expose the swell of his arse, running a hand along Stephen’s skin languidly, she can’t help but think that this is her favourite type of Tony: easy in his own skin, predatory, soft and calm in the comfort of his own home and around the people he loves. She loves when he gets like this, because it’s proof that Tony can take a deep breath and really allow himself to be for once, rather than hiding behind a well-worn mask or keeping his armour (both metaphorically and literally) up. It’s extremely validating that he’s able to be his true self in front of her, allowing himself to be seen like this.

She watches as Tony digs a bottle of lube out of his pocket, pulls out the sizeable toy (bright red and garish, which isn’t surprising), and lubes it up again before slowly teasing it back inside of Stephen’s hole. He’s kissing the side of Stephen’s neck, long drags of his lips and rough murmurs that Pepper can’t quite understand, so she steps closer so she can decipher the words. It’s quiet praise mixed in with vile words – you’re so beautiful Stephen, and your hole just sucks it in all pretty and desperately, fuck you’re gorgeous aren’t you – and it’s classic Tony, just the right mixture of dirty talk and honest appreciation. Stephen seems to eat it up, his face and chest flushed as he bends placidly against the bar, and Pepper can’t help but stroke a hand along the other side of Stephen’s lightly damp neck, pressing a kiss of her own against his thick hair.

“Welcome home, Pepper,” Stephen croaks thickly, turning his head so he can look at her with glazed eyes. “How many businessmen did you eviscerate today?”

She smiles. “Four, actually. I have their balls in a jar on my desk at the office.” She presses another kiss against his flushed, sweaty forehead and asks them both, “So is anyone going to tell me what this bet is?”

She hears the buzz of the vibrating plug start up, making Stephen jolt around a low groan, and Tony pipes up, “If he continues to be our pretty Cinderella until midnight without getting off or avoiding his duties as our maid, I have to physically attend that conference in Geneva for nerve regenerating stem cell research with him instead of just throwing money at it. If I win, he has to come to Vegas with me for twenty-four hours without complaining about it. Obviously you’re enthusiastically invited to all of the above, though I doubt you’ll partake in any Vegas festivities.”

“I might have to, if Stephen’s not allowed to complain about it,” she remarks off-handedly with a shrug, presses a last kiss to Stephen’s cheek, and then ruffles Tony’s hair. “Our PR team might have a coronary if you’re forcing him to enable you in Sin City. I’m going to go shower now.”

“Okay babe. Do you want him to wash you up?” Tony offers.

She watches as Stephen’s eyes go dark at the possibility, and despite the fact that it’s always nice to shower with her men and be pampered, she also knows that Stephen has a bet to win and she’s going to do everything in her power to help him do it. If only for her own sanity.

“It’s fine,” she replies easily, smiling at Stephen. “Wouldn’t want to make you get out of your pretty dress, Stephen.”

Tony giggles as Stephen scowls, though the effect is weakened by the sharp arousal in his sharp face. “This costume is humiliating and incredibly uncomfortable.”

“I think you look nice, if a little cliché,” Pepper notes, pulling away and shrugging out of her suit jacket. “Be thankful he didn’t put you in a corset and six-inch stilettos instead. He’s always had a thing for that.”

“Ooh, that’s a thought!” Tony exclaims with a cheeky wink. He pushes a button absently on the remote, making the buzzing get unbearably loud, and Stephen cries out, entire body shuddering before his hips start thrusting forward into air for friction, eyes clenches shut as he feels.

Pepper rolls her eyes and says seriously, albeit with a twinge of amusement, “Stephen, I need you to be strong for me. Think of Geneva and making Tony suffer through a benefit dinner, and you’ll make it to midnight. Be a pretty, strong Cinderella, and I’ll help you make him suffer.”

Through the constant groans and full-body shivers, Stephen still manages to crack a smile even as Tony huffs with mock offense. “Hey, that’s rude. You’re not supposed to take his side on this.”

Pepper sniffs without any heat and then makes her way to their master bath, calling out merrily behind her shoulder, “You honestly don’t expect me to pick a side when the stakes are Vegas and a medical conference in Geneva? Think of the shoes, Tony.”

She leaves the room with a smile, listening to Tony laugh vibrantly and Stephen moan even as he’s ordered to keep cleaning up.

They’re both totally insane, in Pepper’s opinion, but she loves them nonetheless.

[positivelyamazonian]

10 Favorite Game/Anime/Movie Characters

Tagged by: @a-super-evil-cat-who-murders (thanks!!! It was fun!)

The Rules: Name your top 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 different people.

Well I’ve already done a tag for FEMALE CHARACTERS so I’ll leave this in case you wanna check it. For not repeating myself, I’ll do this time just male characters.

I’ll tag: @luluvonv @luthienamell @adayka @hydraballista @anyathebloodshell @anentireamazon @jar-cup @kim-v-croft  @autumn-star93 @lady-trent

Of course don’t feel obliged to do this. And yes my characters come in not a particular order!

1. Haplo the Patryn - The Death Gate Cycle (book series)

Posting an amazing fanart by Melusaaste because there’s not an official art that shows him so close-up, and honestly, this is the most accurate depiction of him I’ve ever seen. 

Haplo is the anti-hero and main character of The Death Gate Cycle series written by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. Personal childhood hero (despite being an antihero himself), husbando and whatnot, until today he’s one of my fav characters ever, because through him I learnt the most perfect character development, from a cruel, merciless and amoral villain, to... well, not a hero if you think so, but to redeemed human being. 

“A 'why' is a dangerous thing... It challenges old, comfortable ways, forces people to think about that they do instead of just mindlessly doing it.” - Haplo in Dragon Wing, the first volume of the series.

2. Johan Liebheart - Monster

You don’t know what’s a villain until you meet this bastard. I am not an otaku or very enthusiastic of anime series, but Monster by Naoki Urasawa are probably the best manga/anime series ever written. And his villain, Johan Liberheart, one of the most twisted fucks ever written by an author.

Tortured, mentally ill, twisted, cruel, amoral, there’s no way to explain Johan. He experiences no character development and he has not a single redeeming quality, yet you just can’t let him go. An unforgettable character, not recommended for the weak and vulnerable.

There's nothing special about being born. Not a thing. Most of the universe is just death, nothing more. In this universe of ours, the birth of a new life on some corner of our planet is nothing but a tiny, insignificant flash. Death is a normal thing. So why live?

3. Geralt of Rivia - The Witcher (book/videogame series)

I’m so sorry I met this amazing character through The Witcher videogame series, because he existed already in the book series of the same name written by  Andrzej Sapkowski, and I really feel like posting this video because it perfectly sums up the spirit of the character.

Geralt is a witcher, a mutant specialist in killing demons and monsters for coin. He’s shaped like an anti-hero and despised by his society because of his nature and his mercenary job, but despite having everything for being just a rogue scoundrel, he manages to become a very rich character. Full of redeeming qualities despite his grey morals, Geralt struggles in a cruel Middle-Ages world to keep something human for himself, when everyone surrounding him tries to turn him in the heartless freak he was trained to be.

“People," Geralt turned his head, "like to invent monsters and monstrosities. Then they seem less monstrous themselves. When they get blind-drunk, cheat, steal, beat their wives, starve an old woman, when they kill a trapped fox with an axe or riddle the last existing unicorn with arrows, they like to think that the Bane entering cottages at daybreak is more monstrous than they are. They feel better then. They find it easier to live.” ― Andrzej Sapkowski, The Last Wish

4. Raistlin Majere - The Dragonlace (book series)

Again, I’ve to go back to a character created by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman (man, this people CAN write characters I tell you), this time for the Dragonlance series. These books are less original and brilliant than The Death Gate Cycle, but more popular and beloved because they are easier to read. And Raistlin Majere is probably the best character written for these series, being saved among them because of being, probably, the less cliché and the more complex of them all.

And again, anti-hero at times, redeemed hero at other times, tortured, twisted, cynic and cruel, but also able to show kindness and a human heart at times. Raistlin was born weak and sick and sacrificed everything (including his own health) for one sake: magic. And power. His only life desire is what will lead him to his own destruction.

"Of course this means a lot to me, Caramon. It means everything! I have worked and studied almost my entire life for this chance. What would you have me do - cast it aside because it is dangerous? Life is dangerous, Caramon. Just stepping out that door is dangerous! You cannot hide me from danger. Death floats in the air, creeps through the window, comes in with the hand-shake of a stranger. If we stop living because we fear death we have already died."

5. Tyrion Lannister (A Song of Ice and Ice/Game of Thrones series)

This little amazing piece of awesomeness needs no presentation. I am again sorry I met through the Game Of Thrones TV series and not A Song Of Ice And Fire books, but it was totally worth it because it’s one of the most well-written characters I’ve had the pleasure to meet, and I must say Peter Dinklage was born to play him.

What can I say? Tyrion is one of those characters who are worth living. A dwarf, deformed, ugly, with no physical or war skills, relying only in his extreme intelligence and wisdom and his political talent to survive, he’s one of the most strong inspirations one can find. Definitely go check him.

6. Kurtis Trent (Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness videogame)

I included Lara Croft in my female characters list, it would be absolutely unfair to forget Kurtis as he’s the other character that got my heart in TR series. Not gonna rant long about him here, because you already know my opinion. He was amazing. He deserved better. Ex-legionnaire, demon hunter and Lux Veritatis warrior, I’ve devoted all my fanfics to develop him as there was no chance for Core Design to do it so.

Fitting more in the role of a hero, I think he was also the perfect partner for Lara. His background is very well written and he had a lot of potential. The fact I will never see it doesn’t change anything. He deserves his place here.

"And I thought this would be one of my easy days." - Kurtis, The Sanitarium.

7. L Lawliet - Death Note (manga/anime series)

Again, I reinforce the statement that I’m not a fan of manga/anime series, but definitely Death Note is, together with Monster, one of those you should watch. And yes for everyone who loves Death Note, I’m a L fan. You always choose between L or Kira sides, and despite I’ve to recognize that Kira is a very complex, well written character, it’s L who gets my heart.

Supertalented, amoral, brilliant, extremely unpredictable and surprising, L is the first one of the agents that will try to catch Kira, the murderer who uses a Death Note to implant his particular justice world. L deserves your attention more than Kira, I presume. Or at least, it’s what I think.

“There are... many types of monsters in this world: Monsters who will not show themselves and who cause trouble; monsters who abduct children; monsters who devour dreams; monsters who suck blood, and... monsters who always tell lies. Lying monsters are a real nuisance. They are much more cunning than other monsters. They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart. They eat even though they've never experienced hunger. They study even though they have no interest in academics. They seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. If I were to encounter such a monster, I would likely be eaten by it. Because in truth, I am that monster.”

8. V - V for Vendetta (graphic novel/movie)

I know, easy to love him, right? Again I’m sad that I met this character through the movie and not the original graphic novel, though you can’t say a thing against Hugo Weaving’s magnificent delivery. I wish I could get my hands on the graphic novel, so I can know him better.

Anarchist, terrorist, idealist, V is the incarnation of the protest against dictatorship and opression in a dystopian England that has supressed all the rights and human freedom. If you don’tknow him, I strongly recommend at least the movie, for the inspiration this character delivers goes beyond that the mask that has trascended the movie itself to become a symbol of citizen fight.

9. Roger - American Dad (TV series)

Well technically he’s not a he, he’s rather an it, but whatever. Also he’s it’s a different trend in this post since I love him particularly because he’s funny and incarnates all the non-political correct you can expect from someone.

He also gives me, kinda, TR vibes. Roger is an alien who landed in Earth during Cold War and was rescued and sheltered at his home by Stan, a CIA agent who’s the main character of the series. Honestly I think Roger is the best of American Dad - a TV show which basically and mercilessly mocks every American value - because despite being an alien is absolutely, indecently human. I prefer him and this show much more than the overrated Family Guy.

10.  Dwight Schrute - The Office (TV series)

Last but not the least, the efficient, clever and adorable bastard hillbilly from The Office. I loved him from the very first moment he appeared. Yeah I know many people hate him or prefer the goofy boss of the handsome Jim but Dwight is really my spirit animal and speaks to me in so many levels. No more comment needed. He’s the best of the show to me.

Well this took forever, right? Sorry for the length of this post but now I’m free I wanted to give it some thought. I see again that I’ve a soft spot for grey morals, redeeming qualities, bad boys and complex characters. This is how it goes! ;)

[headlesssamurai]

Your thoughts on the new Star Wars?

[Disclaimer: The following is sarcasm targeted at social trends and contrarians the world-over. If it offends you, buck it up and have a fucking sense of humor.]

A Completely Serious Breakdown OfStar Wars: The Last Jedi

by Anita Sarkeesian & Rachel Maddow

To begin, let’s just say the best format in which to write anything on the internets is by breaking it down into a comprehensive list for no goddamn reason, other than maybe the idea that lots of people like to read lists or something because it feels a lot less like reading, and lots of people dislike reading. Right? Right.Thus, the following is a list of reasons why Star Wars: The Last Jedi is an atrocity bordering on Nagasaki levels of horror.WARNING: The following will contain spoilers and angsty disappointment.

1. Not enough transgender charactersThis one is clearly a no-brainer. Every respectable sell-out of a Hollywood screenwriter ought to know by now that their movie should contain at least one transgender, one gender-fluid, one gender neutral, and one tri-sexual character, if not more. And this is especially true in bombastic, overblown blockbusters. It disgusts me to see them disregard such a large percentage of their viewership. I know they tried to placate us with the pink-haired drag queen admiral who takes command after Leia is incapacitated, and the Asian kid who is running around with Finn the entire movie, but these characters seemed more like afterthoughts than anything else. To see them be so cavalier and conservative with their dramatis personae is just shameless.

2. It supports animal murderRight off the bat, we’re treated to a horrific scene in which Luke Skywalker, previously a shining beautiful example of a peaceful pacifist Zen master, is shown violently murdering an innocent fish with a barbed spear, then casually carrying the poor slaughtered animal back to his hut like a caveman. If that’s not enough, we later see Chewbacca, previously the most non-violent and docile character in the entire franchise, roasting a poor decapitated penguin on a spit over an open fire like some uncivilized neanderthal. Did he skin the creature while it was still alive? Perhaps we’ll never know, but it was clearly murdered with an intent to eat, and the Wookie carelessly roasts the creature’s remains in full view of its mournful cousins who must be wondering which of them will be next for bloody execution. This blatant disregard for the lives of the magical, peaceful animals of nature is truly horrifying. I can’t imagine how the filmmakers could be this vulgar. For achieving such advanced levels of technology, the people of this galaxy sure behave like feral savages.

3. Not enough wacky comedyI know there was a scene in which a confused elderly woman plays the general of an army, a riff on Karate Kid, an awkward reference to deep throating, a robot doing its best Solid Snake impression, a little kid getting mercilessly whipped by a character from a Pixar movie, Yoda acting like a weirdo again, furry anime creatures making cute noises, a guy getting unexpectedly electrocuted, enough bad dialogue to fill a Star Destroyer’s cargo hold, a fucking prank phone call scene in a Star Wars movie, and Benicio Del Toro’s face; but still. This movie could’ve used more comedy. This is made by Disney, after all, the same studio who gave us Guardians of the Fallacy, I mean every gag in that movie is just such a fucking knee-slapper, you know? Goddamn.

4. Too much explicit sexualityI was very glad to see that in Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Disney decided to completely sever all of the vulgar and explicit sexuality depicted in every previous Star Wars film, particularly making certain this new portrayal of the galaxy was as sterile and sexless as a Dominican cloister. However, they’ve decided to flush that newfound dignity down the fucking toilet with this film. You all know what I’m talking about. There is a single scene in this movie where one character kisses another character on the lips. I know it’s just a little peck, but that’s just too much. This movie is vulgar, kids should not see it. Don’t even get me started on Kylo Ren’s sexy shirtlessness, Snoke’s pervy sex offender vibes, and all of Rey’s wet t-shirt scenes.

5. Not enough Han SoloHan Solo isn’t in this movie. ‘Nuff said.

6. Female heroine needs a manRemember Rey? That amazing, strong feminist icon from Episode VII who could do anything, fix a ship, fly a ship, shoot a gun, wield a laser sword, speak any language, and conquer anyone who stood in her path? Yeah, that girl decided to take a nap in this movie. You guessed it, she’s all fire and energy, yet the moment she sees Kylo Ren’s sweaty shirtless abs this new Rey can’t resist and falls head-over-heels for a guy who tried to slice her in half the first time they met. I mean, nothing comes of it, thank god! But seriously Disney? This is just lazy writing, and feminists everywhere should boycott this movie and fire-bomb any theater still showing it, along with all the homes of those who buy tickets to support it.

7. Too much talkingAgain, this movie was made by Disney, right? So why the hell is all the talking filled with so much boring character-driven dialogue, and not a goofy joke or lyrics in a sing-a-long? I cannot imagine how they expected to tap their drooling Marvel MCU fanbase with this many narrative-relevant scenes of people talking which don’t include funny gags or nerdy references from a Tony Stark-esque character. What a disappointment.

8. Not enough racial diversityI know there’s a Spanish-Puerto Rican man, a black man, a Guatemalan man, two Vietnamese women, a few white people, another black guy, a Wookie, the previously mentioned drag queen, a Mon Calamari, some other aliens visible when they go to Monte Carlo, and whatever alien that one dude was; but still. That’s only representing a few out of, like, hundreds of thousands of other ethnic groups all over the planet, not to mention the millions if not billions of alien species throughout the galaxy whose children have no characters to look up to in this movie. The distinct lack of Jews was most jarring for me, and I wouldn’t hazard to call this film anti-Semitic exactly, but it does make you pause for contemplation.

9. Glorification of violenceDo I really need to say this out loud? Holy shit. There is so much violence in this movie it makes me nauseous. People blowing people up, decapitation and dismemberment, savagely beating each other to death with clubs, animals being whipped, children being whipped (even if it’s funny, it’s still violent), casino patrons being violently trampled to death by stampeding anime creatures, bodies being engulfed by fiery explosions, explosions engulfing explosions, and at least two cases of fanatically intentional suicide which result in the violent death of hundreds if not thousands of others. All told, it’s one of the most violent movies released this year, with a body count that likely surpasses Man of Steel and the first Avengers film combined. How can audiences be this bloodthirsty? It’s just, I don’t know, sickening. You fandom kids should renounce yourselves and practice self-flagellation, as far as I’m concerned.

10. It supports child slave soldiersIn the very first scene, the character Poe Dameron supports a group of Resistance bombers who are trying to destroy a First Order dreadnought. We see the flight leader protecting the bombers is a young girl who couldn’t be older than twelve piloting an A-wing fighter and mercilessly blasting TIE fighters out of the sky. Forgetting the fact that war is already traumatic for fully grown adults, how is the Resistance okay with putting a child in harm’s way like that? I’m astounded. This is so controversial, I can’t believe it isn’t being hotly debated by mouthbreathers all over the internets.

11. Not enough lightsabersLikely the film’s biggest transgression of all. It’s a well-known fact that the mindless drooling fans who attend the cult gatherings known as Star Wars Celebrations and sew their own costumes to wear to premieres (only to turn around and hatefully review the film later on YouTube) only really want to see one thing: lots and lots of lightsaber battles. That’s the only thing Star Wars has going for it these days, after all. And this time nobody bangs a lightsaber against another lightsaber even once. Not once in the entire movie! Jesus, Joseph, and doggy-style Mary! What pointless drivel. I’m considering petitioning the studio for a bid to get my money back after seeing this farce. Don’t they know anything about what makes Star Wars great?

Parthian shotsDespite all of these many, many flaws, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi is not entirely without merit. There are some cool CGI effects in almost every scene, for one thing. Throughout the film we also learn some very valuable life lessons, such as:- Anime creatures have invulnerable faces that can smash through anything without the slightest injury.- Shields work best when gunfire is coming from very far away.- Any man in a position of power is either irredeemably evil or an impulsive and weak-willed incompetent fool.- All roads lead to failure.- The best way to be good at something is by sucking at it.- It’s okay for bystanders to be violently trampled to death so long as they’re rich.- All law enforcement officers are evil corrupt bastards.- Freeing captive animals is more important than freeing the slave children who tend to them.- And the only way to win a war is through the magical power of love, even if the enemy is in the process of blowing up your friends while you’re deliriously saying so.

   Huzzah.

       侍   headless

[visambros]

🔥 Gotta do this for yah, because your unpopular opinions are the best

lol oh boy! @fucktrain-sama I’m sorry that this is so long but wow I had a lot to say about this. 

Unpopular opinion: Death Of The Author.

This may be considered cheating since there are a few content creators out there who also don’t like it. However, I get the distinct feeling that many people on Tumblr are not only okay with this theory, but actively use it to their advantage. Don’t like something in your favourite show? That’s okay! Just completely disregard subtext (or straight up text) and input your own interpretations that make you feel better!

Now, I’m not saying that I’ve never used my own life experiences or preferences to analyze media, and I’m not saying that the concept of the “death of the author” is inherently evil. But, well… let’s look at it this way:

Let’s say you want to write a story about aliens who take over the Earth and start eating humans. In this story, humanity is powerless to stop the aliens from eating them. Every day, people are rounded up, put into cages, and spend their whole lives waiting to die and become an alien’s meal. The only ones lucky enough to avoid this fate are the humans who become pets for the aliens. This is the basic gist of your story.

Now, let’s say you had no political message to this story. You wrote it because you thought the concept of humanity being turned into food was interesting, or maybe you have a cannibalism fetish (hey I won’t kinkshame). Either way, you made this story because it interested you and you hoped that other people will be interested too.

So you publish the story, it gets popular… and people start accusing you of being vegan elitist. They say your story is about the meat industry and that you’re shaming people who don’t have a strictly plant-based diet. But it’s okay, because you also have fans… who like that you’re speaking out against animal cruelty through your story. They praise you for not supporting the consumption of innocent animals who are forced to live in cramp and unclean spaces until they die. Readers analyze the aliens as Big Corporations who don’t care for the suffering of others, and blah blah blah.

Maybe you’re flattered that people are putting so much thought into your story, or maybe you’re angry that people hate you and call you names because they assume you’re trying to push some agenda. Regardless, you tell them the truth. No, you’re not a vegan (or if you are, your story had nothing to do with your eating habits). No, there is no deep symbolism or double meaning to the aliens or humans. You just thought your book idea was cool/you were indulging a fetish, and that’s why you wrote it.

And do you know what your readers say after you correct them? They tell you that you’re wrong! You, the person who wrote the book, are wrong. The story is really about the food corporation and the evils of meat eating and You. Are. Wrong.

So you get angry, because of course you do. They’re not the ones who spent months- or even years- working on the book. They’re not who skipped out on parties or stayed up late at night to make sure the characters sounded natural and the grammar was perfect and the plot was solid. You’re the one who made the effort. You’re the one who came up with the goddamn idea in the first place! You know more than them about your own stupid story!

So you express your anger. You tell them that THEY’RE wrong, not YOU. And you know what? They say that you’re a control freak. They tell you that you don’t want your fans to have creative freedom with the source material. They tell you that “the author is dead” and they have the right to interpret your characters, your story, your blood and sweat and tears, in whatever way they want.

This is what I don’t like about the Death Of The Author.

Multiple times on Tumblr I have seen posts that say something along the lines of; “It is important to tell your story. It doesn’t matter if the plot has been done before. You have something important to say and no one else can say it. Your voice matters”. And that’s a great sentiment to have. But when people are so willing to completely disregard a creator’s original intentions to fit their own preferred narrative, it doesn’t make that sentiment seem realistic or worth anything.

Your character’s personality means nothing when people take advantage of the Death Of The Author. “This character is very complex, and although they have both good and bad qualities, they are ultimately a good person”. “No, not only is this character one-dimensional, they’re also 100% evil and if you think they have don’t flaws then you’re wrong”.

Your character’s sexuality means nothing when people take advantage of the Death Of The Author. “This character is straight”. “No, they’re gay”. “This character is gay”. “No, they’re bisexual”. “This character is bi”. “No, they’re asexual”. “This character is ace”. “No, they’re straight”.

Your plot means nothing when people take advantage of the Death Of The Author. “In this world, there are many grey areas, and though no one is 100% good or bad, there are characters who are light grey and characters who are dark grey”. “No, the characters I like are good and the characters I dislike are bad. And since everyone has grey morals, it doesn’t matter whether it’s light or dark grey”.

And if you don’t like it when people take advantage of the Death Of The Author, then there’s something wrong with you as a creator. You’re the problem, not the people who twist your work and turn it into something completely different. You’re a control freak, you’re a suppressor of creative freedom, you’re wrong wrong wrong.

This is what I don’t like about the Death Of The Author.

When fandoms and academic journals and English classrooms support this, it makes it hard to see why your voice even matters. How can you convince people that they have something important to say when their words will be chopped up and mixed around until it’s something unrecognizable? Why put richness and complexity into your stories when it’s just going to be watered down? Why not just make stories where everyone is flat and the world is paper thin, and just make the fans fill in the blanks since they’re just going to do that anyways? How can you convince someone that their stories are needed in the world, when this is the fate they’ll ultimately have? “Sure, write what you want, but we’re going to put your work in a blender and scoop out the good chunks when we’re done, and you can’t get mad at us or you’re dumb”.

Before I end this, I want to make it VERY CLEAR that I’m not against fanfiction or fan works of any kind. I’ve written fanfics before, some of which have gone against the established canon. I am also not against coming up with your own theories when plot elements aren’t clear. My unpopular opinion isn’t that you should never change canon for your own amusement. I’m not saying that you can’t, for example, take two straight characters and draw fan art of them dating because you think they’d be cute together.

What I am saying is that, when a content creator of a cartoon or comic or TV show says “X is canon”, and people go “No Y is canon not X”, that sucks. It sucks for the content creators, it sucks for people who want to be content creators someday, and it sucks for people who get harassed for following canon because the fan interpretation is more accepted.

It just sucks to put your heart and soul into something only to be told that you are incorrect, and it sucks to be told that there’s something wrong with you if you refuse to accept that.