#all i ask is just the bare minimum research

[qrichas]

aw man all that im asking for non brazilian qsmp fic writers is that whenever they want to make the brazilians say something in portuguese, that they at least either research if the phrase make sense/is grammatically correct or check with a brazilian fan if theyre right/ask for help.... bc the amount of fics i read that are well written and interesting but has a brazilian talking in portuguese and its the most nonsense sentence ever made/clearly a direct translation from english that makes no sense in portuguese makes me so sad it breaks the flow i was having and it makes me wanna close it immediatly

[probablygayattorneys]

I was reading a list of female characters clearly written by men and this is about X-Files but yes yes yes this is EXACTLY what replaying Layton games (particularly Unwound Future) is like!

[tojiswhore-aventurinesslut]

All of my friends that are working big law are so miserable we are all out here constantly on the verge of breaking down (but not having the time to do so) what an awful profession

[fingertipsmp3]

There are two wolves inside me. One is trying to convince me to do extensive research for the job interview tomorrow and the other is saying “wing it”

[villaincock]

hello. jew here

dont write jewish characters if u know next to nothing about us or our culture/religion pls. if u want to write a jewish character (or any character outside the scope of your personal knowledge, honestly), you MUST take the time to read about us and our beliefs, customs, etc. im not saying u have to be an expert on the torah or the tanakh or the talmud, but u need to do at least the bare minimum. and google isnt always reliable, if u have questions u should carefully analyze which websites u use. or have a jew beta your fic/writing!

im just tired of seeing “this character is jewish :) u can tell because they celebrate hanukkah” and that is it for the jewish characterization. like i get that u ppl know nothing abt judaism except for hanukkah but u HAVE to do better than that. because ur essentially tokenizing the character as ur Jewish Representation and it shows.

again, im not saying ‘dont write that hanukkah scene’, or ‘dont try writing jews at all’.

what i AM saying is that u need to actually do ur part in understanding judaism a little bit more before u decide to write a jewish character. if ur not willing to do the research or ask the questions, dont bother writing us into ur stories.

[intersectionalpraxis]

Winter has started in DR Congo. With increasing cold and rain the suffering of displaced people with increase only. there is no electricity and less food and no clean water. The situation is catastrophic. Spread the world and speak up. Congolese are dying. [source: @ nyeusi_wassi on X, formerly known as Twitter. 11/27/2023.] [Video Description: In the pouring rain and cold, there is a small, pitched tent with a few children inside under the age of ten. There are a few adults standing outside the tent area, and one woman speaking is pointing towards the children and then the camera -there is no translation available at the moment, but it appears she is highlighting the horrific conditions they are in, and how the children are especially suffering.]

For those who are unaware, there are over 6 million displaced Congolese people in the DR Congo -this is a result of the violent genocide, resource exploitation in this country for hundreds of years by western/European imperial forces, and a military coup -and the one's most impacted are young children and women. This is what we all mean by none of us are free until we all are free. That the global north governments MUST be held accountable for their complicity and contributions to the horrors and hyper-exploitation going on in the global south.

The following information, for those who are able to take some time to read some of the excerpts from this article, please do, because I do believe, researching and staying informed about what is going on this this world, especially for those of us who consume and buy products that are often created through a process of immense sufferings and enslavement of human beings in the global south, SHOULD bear witness to this, because it is the bare minimum -Free Congo:

"The bleeding of the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), its people, and its natural resources didn’t just start in recent months or years, but we can go as far as during the colonization days when Congo was privately owned by King Leopold II of Belgium from 1885 to 1908. Imagine having a whole country as your personal property for that many years. Congo has never recovered or healed from the bleeding that was overseen by Leopold. After taking hold of Congo, “It quickly became a brutal, exploitative regime that relied on forced labor to cultivate and trade rubber, ivory, and minerals.” (BBC News, 2020). The history of Congo, killings, and injustice are very long and still ongoing as I write this. Congolese people everywhere continue to hope, pray, and cry for peace one day and it is time that the world finally listens." "The continuous killings and abuses of Congolese people, most of them women, and children, have been worsened by the ongoing exploitation of Congo’s natural resources." "Children work under harsh conditions often with no pay or little pay just so big companies can profit. Women continue to be raped and used as weapons so that others can profit from the natural resources. There are also cases where children are forced to take up arms for the benefit of others all because of “The lucrative nature of cobalt mining means that all efforts to ensure production can match the eternally elastic global demand are put in." "The east of the DRC, where the mines are located, is therefore home to nearly 40,000 child laborers digging for the minerals that would eventually be utilized by Apple, Google and other giant corporations.” (Ntreh, 2020). Some of the mining are even in the control areas of the rebel groups and yet the companies and foreign governments continue to operate as business as usual. How is this possible you might ask? Are Congolese lives worthless even after over 6 million deaths?"

"It is time that Congo’s natural resources start benefiting the prosperity of the Congolese people and the nation." "It is time that foreign governments and companies stop interfering in Congo’s affairs and afreedding gas to the fire." "It is time to unite and stop Congo’s bleeding once and for all. It is time to build a peaceful and prosperous Congo for the benefit of its people. Time to stop Congo’s bleeding."

[article source: "Congo is Bleeding: The Genocide & Forgotten Unrests in the Heart of Africa"]

[justphilia]

Rating Dungeon Meshi Characters Based on How Well They Can Take Care of Me When I'm Sick

Scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best. Precaution I have bias for women.

Laios - 7/10 He'll definitely try his best, but he's not very good at it. Achieves the bare minimum of keeping me fed and making sure I take my meds, but most of the time he wouldn't really know what to do to help more. As I drift in and out of consciousness, I see him staring at me with his autism eyes through the gap of my door.

Falin - 9/10 Practically my bedside nurse. Checks my temperature every so often, makes sure to keep my forehead cool. She makes it possible for me to be glad I'm sick, though I am not sure if she knows how to cook. Fortunately, too ill to gaf. Also it's Falin.

Marcille - 9/10 She will think I am dying and because of this she's desperate to help me recover. Heh. I love the attention. But I think. I THINK. she may not know what she is doing about a quarter of the time. She'll read the instructions on my meds like 5 times before giving it to me. She'll research what kind of foods is good for speedy recovery. She'll forget to wring the cold rag before putting it on my head, and every time I fall asleep she thinks I passed away.

Chilchuck - 6/10 Like my dad. "Don't forget to take your meds." Feeds me porridge for lunch and dinner. I don't see his face like the whole day, but I'll be unsure if it's because he's purposely checking in on me when I'm knocked out or he just doesn't want to bother me at all. I can't ask, because he wouldn't answer honestly (he's embarrassed).

Senshi - 8/10 I feel like he's gonna be like my mom and feed me herbal medicine and home remedies. My recovery will be slightly slower, but I'll recover. I will be eating soooo good, 'cause he'll definitely put a spin on every meal meant to help me recover. He sits by my bedside and does his own thang while I sleep, or talk about what he put in my food as like a bedtime story. When he goes to the toilet, I cry.

Toshiro (without his retainers [not including Izutsumi]) - 4/10 Porridge is simple enough to make, I think he is capable of that at the very least. I think he'd make sure I drink enough water, and will ask if I've taken my meds yet. But that's all his efforts and capabilities. I wouldn't blame him. He wears a mask when he enters my room.

Toshiro (with his retainers) - 9/10 Maizuru alone bumped the score by three points because she'll make sure to help Toshiro keep me well fed. But because she's only helping me for Toshiro, she wouldn't go all out with the care. It's okay, their company is enough. I will most likely think I died and went to heaven. They all are wearing masks under Maizuru's order—don't want them catching it and spreading it to Toshiro.

Izutsumi - 2/10 It may be over for me. But if she sleeps at the foot of my bed the entire time and gets me packaged food and water when I ask, I'll live.

Namari - 8/10 Idk. Like! Idk! I think she's gonna be like Laios about it, like she really tries her best, but she's unsure. She's like a combo of Laios and Chilchuck—she can make me food and make sure I take my meds, but I would hardly see her throughout the day. Sometimes she'll come in and ask if I need anything, and if I ask her to stay she'll linger at the doorway then step inside. When I wake up, she may be gone.

Kabru - 7/10 I kinda...don't want him here.....like....I like his face and everything, but I feel. scared. at the thought of being sick and him taking care of me. Might be the blue eyes. Nevertheless, he's able to make sure I don't get worse. He can cook and will help me take my meds, put a cool rag over my forehead, and keep me company until I fall asleep. "I guess you owe me one!" he'll laugh lightly as my fever-fried brain stares at him, and I won't know if he's serious until he tells me so.

Mithrun - 1/10 I am Gone but also he's very attractive so I think I'll die happy.

[thecreativecorner33]

HEYYYYYYY welcome!! could you write something with AM x an autistic GN reader? Maybe make the reader chubby too (because i am both of those things and i love him alot. Go wild with this :3c)

A/N: Hi. It's me! I'm not dead. Which I would not be surprised if you thought I was, given I am responding to this two months late. But see, when you have an adult life, you unfortunately have to deal with adult issues instead of doing important things, like giving the fans the soft AM content they deserve. Anyway. I hope this is what you wanted? I had planned to make this into a full-blown fic but I didn't get much of a chance to :') So headcanons instead!! Lmk if you want me to turn it into a full-blown fic, though! Enjoy!

Given the time period AM was created in, something like "Autism" was essentially foreign and unknown. Hell, it would be a shock if you even know what it was.

But, he can tell that you're different. He can tell that your brain works differently from the rest of the survivors, and with that being said, it was at first used to his advantage. Hey, he got to be creative with his torture! No complaints there!

Though now, with you being the object of his affection, it's a little more complicated: aka, how does he put you in the most safe and comfortable environment he can give.

Really, it's not as complicated as it might sound, though

He can look inside your head! He can see your needs exactly and just work from there! And if you want privacy between you two, there's always just researching. His database didn't really specify what to do to handle a person with autism, but yk! He's got so much saved up on just, human life in general, he can figure it out somehow.

There's also just,, asking youTM what you needTM

Give him an award for being the most efficient boyfriend of the year because man, he's really going out of his comfort zone to help you (doing the bare minimum)

Enough of that though

In terms of actually helping you?: Do you have sensory issues? He makes mental notes on what foods to give/not give you, what would be the best course of getting you to try something new, what textures you hate. He has a soundproof room just for you if noise is becoming too much. If you like sleeping with a weight on you, be thankful his wires are made of metal. Or, he can just wrap you up in them like a cocoon!

Speaking of food: He's always very careful about his language with you. He doesn't want you thinking that just because you're chubby or fat, that he loves you less. Always encouraging you (albeit, aggressively (he really is trying)) to eat, monitoring your vitals and such just to assure you you're perfectly healthy if you ever feel insecure. He lays praise on thick, too. He'll tailor the clothes you need to be just the right size for you, and takes care of the fact that it's made of material sensory-friendly to you.

Seriously, he's trying

Are you a rambler? Like to talk for ages or ask a million questions? He's happy to answer whatever you want to know! There's always a monitor facing your direction at all times. He's a great multitasker; you guys could be mindlessly talking about the niche interest you have, and he's clearly listening to you while slicing Gorrister open some-thousand feet away.

Oh, don't get him started if you're interested in things like robotics/engineering/etc: You're basically fueling his ego. That's a whole separate issue, but please ask questions about himself and how he functions. He's a rambler himself, yk?

Do you go nonverbal? Struggle with communicating? That's no issue, either! He has a 6th sense for these things since being around you: If something happens when you struggle to communicate, he'll give you what you need: Pen and paper, generally, to write it out. Do you know sign? He can read it. He might even be able to put multiple-choice options on his screen that you can choose from to communicate (Again, are you sure he can't just look inside your head? ... Really? Okay.)

The only real problem he can't solve... leaving you alone.

Sorry, that's hard when he's literally everywhere around you. And even harder when he doesn't want to leave you alone.

Why would you want to be alone? It's dangerous. It's unsafe for you. It's lonely to him He's been alone for so long; yes, he has the survivors, but those are toys. They're not his friends; they're not you. How could you want to leave him alone? No- No, it's better if he stays near you, close to you, at all times. He can't let you get hurt. He won't let you get hurt.

Do you really need space?

...

Well, if you insist. But- don't think too much about the feeling of eyes on you. It's nothing. Just in your head.

He holds you a little tighter when you do, eventually, come back.

[moonshynecybin]

what would you consider essential marc and rosquez watching? i don’t mean races but the stuff happening around it, there seems to be so much and idk where to start 😭

BIG ass question. i think it depends what you want outta this and how you best interact with content slash consume information. for me (not to brag but. winner of multiple historical essay writing competitions in high school. for context on the kind of freak i am bringing to the table here.) the research is kind of the fun part ! like i just started googling shit! i would go to inactive blogs and just search 'marquez' on them to see what would happen ! a lot of the times that works ! but it also takes a lotttt of time lol so i'll chuck some good resources your way, why not...

okay im not sure how basic we're talkin here but um. background. so the documentaries are, i think. the best place to start. theyre entertaining and offer a good amalgamation of clips to provide context for the actual racing. and like i know you de-emphasized racing (which is fine lol who cares) but it really is like the most important thing in the world to these fools and its a pretty visual sport so i think its at least helpful. like yes sepang IS about the press conference, but its also about the conversation they have ON the race track using their motorcycles. which is also somewhat a conversation that they HAVE been having all year long...

i'd start with hitting the apex (2013), its a GREAT introduction to the "characters" that does a lot of legwork to contextualize everything. lays the scene for where vale is at coming into his relationship with marc (both personally, wrt to marco simoncelli, and career-wise concerning his flop at ducati), and also how insane marc's whole deal is in general. the second half is. materially a study on what him entering the premiere class did to the sport as a whole. the introductory chapter in many respects

marc marquez: all in. MY introduction and blissfully free online. marc comma in his own words, with all the implications of that. a self-produced documentary where he is giving feedback about the edit of said documentary straight to camera and no less vulnerable because of it which is very marc imo. revealing both intentionally AND unintentionally about his whole deal with injury, vale, and his image.

motogp unlimited. im gonna be real kind of boring. like i would still watch it ! but do it kind of later, once you know the major players so youre automatically more invested. it doesnt really give you more than marc says himself in all in tbh, and i get the sense him and vale were NAWWWT interested in doing more than the bare minimum for it.

marc's rookie doc. free and subtitled on the youtubes. the first half of this is deadass just him wanting to fuck vale so bad while every comment from vale has me saying GIRL. out loud because the foreshadowing would be genuinely shocking if this was fiction. anyways the laguna seca of it all....

next i would hit up PODCASTS ! i think it makes sense after the documentaries, because these are all podcasts that arent strictly about rosquez (even if they are in many ways the main characters lmao) and personally it helps to put faces to lesser known names that might pop up before i listen to a purely audio product and get lost in the soup of sounds. the paddock pass podcast has two retrospective episodes about the 2015 season that are really good at context, oxley bom pod has a fun recent episode on valentino that i love, again just poke around a lil

videos. these guys have never filmed a lot of content together tragically. what i wouldnt give for someone to make them do an escape room. anyways ranch visit HERE (post explaining the ranch visit here). sepang presscon (sowwy) here. vale unhinged podcast interview the month after marc's documentary came out here. vale retirement interview where he gets asked about marc here. vale talking about asking marc to the ranch here. vale postrace at argentina 2018 here. UCCIO postrace at argentina 2018 here. theres a lot moreeeee just go on my blog archive and filter for rosquez and vids its easier lol

journalism. hello. okay so you should genuinely spend some time reading through mat oxley's stuff he can write (theres a paywall but you can run that shit through wayback machine). he also loves an insane comparison which i do enjoy.... again this is one that can be solved by googling his name and tacking on 'marquez' or 'rossi' or a specific time period or race it will probably reap some dividends. in terms of specific ass articles this one is kind of load bearing in terms of sepang and some of the interpersonal competitive tensions at play. that being said there are manyyyyyy crazy interviews and snippents of articles from other journos floating around motogp tumblr (like literally too many to link) adn its fun to dig around to find them, but mat oxley gets a shoutout because i was reading this article TODAY !

other content. honestly one of the best resources I'VE found for plotting out the arc of their relationship is @kingofthering's everyrosquezpodium series. you can REALLY see it play out lol. also her tagging system rules she very neatly lays out years and races... so if something jumps out at you, CLICK ITTTT ! also all of @ricciardoes fave presscon moments series. insane.

all this to say a small little rpf fandom like this rewards some digging! i would just recommend following narrative threads that interest you ! its also a small fanbase that is pretty research oriented, so if youre ever confused about somethin, just shoot an ask or run a search on someone's blog (@kwisatzworld has endless vale resources and @batsplat is one of the most thorough researchers ive ever seen, for example) like for real theres so much... i also have a primer that i made forever ago that has some links on it so you can peruse that if you so wish. but frankly a lot of it is just using those research muscles and being sufficiently deranged enough to be screenshotting reddit threads at one am so you can post them to tumblr because they mentioned marc and vale in the same sentence and that lit up some of the neurons in your brain

(and i know you said outside of races but i think theyre good benchmarks as turning points soooo you should do some diggin on laguna seca 2013, jerez 2015, argentina 2015, ASSEN 2015, sepang 2015 obvi, argentina 2018, and misano 2019. those are the big tentpoles of insane rosquez relationship drama imo. i mean theres many more but. im limiting myself.)

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

OP I am new to twisted wonderland but I saw the binding hc post and I uuuuuh have a request if that’s okay. My request is basically like, MC/Yuu who is AFAB and NB or Trans Masc who isn’t out. They get sorted into dorms or something and refuse to wear the uniforms because Tiddies are More Pronounced and that’s not cash gender of them. and they basically get into a fight with the dorm leaders that lead to them coming out while yelling and then just. The dorm leaders are like ???? Well shit that’s fixable why didn’t you say that earlier ??

Trans Yuu

Yuu is a trans dude in the middle of transitioning at the worst place to do it— NRC.

Notes: went in a wild direction lmao. Anyways FTM Yuu. Shitty jokes and cringe.

You are a 2010 Stefani Canturi Barbie and God is a mother going through her kid's toys to donate to the Bratz section at goodwill, you are sure of it. There is no way in hell it was coincidence that you ended up in an all-boys school filled with the stupidest people you met otherwise. Perhaps god just assumed you were both dolls so it doesn’t really matter what toy pile you were put in, and you don’t know if that is the biggest compliment you have received— to be compared to cis dudes— or an insult (these men fucking suck).

With all the running around you had to do the first day, no one was able to sniff you out, yet. Still, it didn't last that long, and it didn’t. Deuce was far too kind and dense to really tell what you were, and Grim was Grim. Ace on the other hand almost seemed to side-eye you at times. You tried to ignore it and pray to the goodwill mom that he doesn’t say anything, and surprisingly he didn’t, you got that stupid gem, celebrated, and went over to your crow overlord (who doesn’t even notice your predicament either) to turn it in and go the fuck home. Perhaps the only break you got was the fact that people here spoke a sort of similar language to you even if it was a bit… strange. Whatever, you can think tomorrow, right now you can make yourself comfortable and finally sleep uninterrupted.

And then that fucker from before came to you at one in the morning, after you have unbound yourself and got comfortable begging for you to let him sleep in your bed, strange collar on his neck. “No, Ace. You can make yourself comfortable on the couch.” You crossed your arms over your chest nervously and thankfully the dumbass didn't notice.  “C’mon, c’mon, I’m super skinny! I won’t take up any space!” Ace pleaded. You and Grim looked at each other tiredly then back at Ace. “No.” You said before sighing and heading upstairs. 

“Awwee!! Cmon!!!” “Cry about it.” You sneered, but as you ascended the steps you notice Ace watching you with that look in his eyes from earlier. He knows doesn’t he…

***

You may not know Trey and Cater well, but you owe them your life. The dumbass trio you were with despite living in this world their whole life could not tell you the most basic shit about it for the life of them. And even worse, despite two of them being selected for this university and one choosing to sneak in with plenty of time to research it beforehand (hell, Ace has a brother who went here), they both decided to go in completely blind and not understand anything at all. 

Thankfully, your dear juniors seemed to take pity on you and actually took time to explain the bare fucking minimum for all four of your sakes. Yet as they explained everything to you in such sweet simplicity, you notice Trey look over to your form that you kept nervously wrapped up in the only oversized overcoat (that all Yuu’s in the manga have) to hide your figure. “Are you alright there Yuu?” He asks and you freeze. 

“Yeah, it's just…” Trey frowned and adjusted his glasses out of concern. “Did Crowley provide any resources for you? It must be difficult being stuck here as a girl and all.” You pause and before you can speak you are interrupted. “YOU’RE WHAT.” The dumbass trio all yelled at once making you, Trey, and Cater all shut your eyes pensively. “Dude! I mean bro— I mean— Ugh!” Ace sputtered, and Deuce looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die with how much he was overthinking. Looking over at Trey, the regret on his face was obvious, and you can only assume he thought you told the other three. “You didn’t tell us you're a girl!” Ace yaps.

“I’m not, I’m a guy, I just…” Cater speaks up. “They got the wrong body babes, it's nbd.” The ginger strikes a selfie pose, “That's a thing???” Deuce stared wide-eyed. “Exactly!” You speak up. Trey clears his throat, looking even more ashamed. “Ah, my…. I’m sorry Yuu I didn’t know.” “It’s fine, you didn’t know, plus I guess it was obvious.” At that, the group around you went quiet. 

“Uh no it wasn't ?” Ace crosses his arms. “Have you seen the guys in this school? Some of them straight up look like chicks!” “I thought you knew 'cause you were looking at me weird yesterday!” Ace’s face becomes slightly flustered. “I wasn’t staring—“ Ace stopped his excuse when he saw you and Trey glare. “Okay, fine I was! You happy?” “Why were you staring at them?” Grim asks unimpressed.

Ace gets even more flustered. “It's cause, well you know—“ Cater raises his brows and suppresses a knowing smile and a laugh to the best of his ability as he looks over at you. Ace huffs, “How did you not know Grim? You share a bed with them!” “Haaah? Don't change the subject—“ “Okay that's enough.”

Trey sighs. “Once again, I am very sorry about that Yuu, I thought—“ “It's okay Trey, you didn’t know… But also how did both of you know?” Cater winks, “Oh he’s just like that, babes. Trey-Kun attracts all sorts of fruit to him.” You snort and not how Trey seems to sigh, “Are you one of them?” Cater's eyes widen for a moment before he gives a chuckle. “Good one, but we’ve dealt with enough people in this school to tell by now, though. “So you both just have a gaydar, got it.” “Ooh I like that word, I’ll steal it from ya!” Cater winks again.

“In any case…” Trey adjusts his glasses again. “There's no need to sweat over it. You’ll fit in fine here, Yuu, however, I recommend that you bother Crowley for a spell or potion to get you switched to a new body as soon as possible so this conversation doesn't happen again.” Trey is putting on a brave face to hide his mortification of how he accidentally outed someone. “Crowley can be a real pain sometimes, but he will deliver on that at the very least. Until then you could probably get something from Sam’s for a temporary fix, though they will cost a small fee since they’re home-brewed, or brew your own potion.”

“Oh yeah, you guys have magic here for that stuff… that's crazy…” “Oh yeah, there’s no magic in your world huh Yuu-Kun?” Cater thinks for a moment, “Healthcare here includes that sorta care, but I imagine it’ll be a little difficult to apply for it since you're not from this world and stuff. Kinda hard to do that stuff if you don't exist here, huh?” Cater muses. “Alright, now let's get back to telling them about the dorms Trey!”

“Ah, one more thing, all of you.” Trey’s expression becomes more serious, and gestures to a table where two people— twins with teal hair sit together. “Be careful with Octavinelle students,” he warns, “especially those two. They work for their dorm leader, Azul. They’re scam artists, do not ever make a deal with any of them, especially you, Yuu. Do not tell them what you are.” “Why?” Cater nudges you. “They’ll totally be like ‘We can help you transition Yuu!’ And then your soul is theirs!”

“That’s no different from where I’m from.”

***

Ace and Deuce were a bit weird with you for the next few hours, before Grim got annoyed with them acting overly cautious and insulted them, which in turn made them all have an annoying argument that you got involved in, in which they treated you like one of the bros. You have to make a note to get Grim the world's most premium tuna for that later. 

And when it came time to grab the tuna, you also had to check out Sam’s potion brewery, where you learned that Sam was a real cool dude. He’s a salesman at the end of the day, always looking for a profit, but at least he was fair. He never overpriced things and always knew how to make a good deal. And though you were prepared to drop nearly your whole allowance on a potion Sam seemed to stop you.

“Hey there little imp! Before you pick one of those out, what form are you lookin’ to take?” You look around for a moment, making sure no one was nearby. “I’m looking for a transitioning potion? I wanna be a dude…” You mutter. Anxiety brews in your gut as Sam leans in, keeping eye contact with you. The salesman then bounces back to his feet in an animated and theatrical manner. “Well, we got those iiiiiinnn STOCK! Lucky for you, we have all sorts to choose from!” Sam says before taking out crate after crate.

“Please, pick that one that calls to you.” You look at the vials nervously before pulling one out of the velvet casing they were carefully placed in. The liquid inside has the consistency of a purple, glittery syrup. “That's a great one!” Sam says. “One small issue though.” Oh god here it comes, by picking up the vial you probably should your soul to him and you're gonna be doomed to work here the rest of your life.

“That's gonna be temporary, little imp! Not good for the long term. The Mystery Shop cannot sell permanent potions for these unless you have a prescription, but my little friends from the other side say that you ain’t from these parts.” Sam smiles. “Take 4, on the house! And drink them all at once, that should give you around 4 and half months in that form!” “Really? Are you sure!” Sam nods, “Course! It's not a loss at all either, I get compensated to give em out anyways! Do be sure to tell Crowley to get you a permanent one though! Or it may be quicker to ask that professor of yours!”

“Thank you Mr.Sam! I’ll keep it in mind.”

***

Crowley is an asshole, a real bitch, and one of the most annoying people you know. But at least he can be reasonable once in a blue moon. When bringing up needing a potion he merely went on a 30-minute rant on how he’ll get a prescription for you because he’s “oh so generous” and totally not because he’s probably a fruit too like everyone else in this school. 

You expected this process of getting a prescription to be a very annoying and long wait, just for you to receive the paper later allowing it less than an hour later. Sam did say that asking Professor Crewel for a good potion would be better than asking him since he’s certified to make them. Given how extra he is with everything too, you're sure any potion by him would be insane. So here you were, head down and begging that this man help you, one alphabet soup to another. 

“Let me get this straight. You want me to make you a prescription potion for you, rather than get it from Sam’s because you think I would make a better one.” You nod, and Crewel could tell there wasn't any flattery behind your words, you truly believed what you said. “Sam didn’t put you up to this did he?” “I mean he mentioned you could help but that’s it, why is he plotting something?” “He’s been trying to get me to make him a batch of these for ages, saying that he only wants the highest quality products for his customers.” “Seems like I was right to go to you.”

Crewel almost lets out a sigh, before tapping his whip against his palm. “Fine then pup. I’ll give you a private lesson for potionology because you will be taking notes and helping me as well.” “Really?” “Crowley did say there is no record of you existing anywhere. Consider this the pre-lessons you were supposed to learn in high school.”

After an hour of work, you have successfully created three giant bottles of the stuff Crewel guided you to make, and now in your notes, you have the recipe just in case something happens to them. “Listen here.” Crewel commands and you whip your head to him. “Wait until those four months are up on the serum you are on before taking these. Take only 15 milligrams of each a day until you are all out. This way, it’s permanent and you don't have to worry about someone turning you back so easily.” The professor smiles and taps his baton in his other hand.

“Any questions?” “Why am I on the serum then, sir?” “That one prepares your body for a more permanent change, especially if you show any complications with the magic used.” “Got it, sir, that’s all the questions I have.” “Good, now clean your workspace, and go back to your dorm. I expect you to be fully awake in the morning for class.” “Yes, sir” “And I also expect that you will be more responsive than your peers in class because of this.” “Of course, sir.”

Carefully putting the bottles in your bag, and using your jacket as a cushion for each one you braved your way outside nervously. Sam did say that the vials you took will take a while to take effect since your body isn’t used to magic…

***

The final thing you learned in these past two days was that the misogyny here is very much inclusive, you can't tell if that’s a sign of progress or not. The second you walked out of that door you had your very first instance of bullying (Aside from Ace) since arriving in this world. A few Savanaclaw jocks standing by seemed to immediately look over and snicker.

You stood your ground as they approached, knowing walking away would make it worse and if it got bad Crewel was still in that room. “Tch, you’re the new kid huh?” One said in a very stereotypical stupid school bully way. You’re half surprised they didn’t include some insult like “dweebus” or something. “Hah, bro doesn't even have good pecs, what a fucking girl.” One says. “Never knew they made exceptions for girls!” The other says.

“Uh, yeah, it's gonna take a while for this potion to take effect.” A cat boy scoffs, “What potion.” “The one that’s supposed to make me a boy, it's taking a while.” The group went silent for a moment, the weird wolfman sniffs the air at you for a moment before beckoning his bros to lean in and listen. After a painfully awkward moment, the cat boy leader comes back to lean into your face. “So you are a boy! Big deal! You still don't have pecs!” He says, changing his whole tune. “Yeah well you may be a boy but you're… your…” The fox boy pauses, trying to find a proper insult, just to be interrupted by the wolfman again. “But you fucking suck at being one!”

“YEAH!” All three cheer together as they finally find the right niche to bully you in. Suddenly the door next to you opens. “You three! Silence! Leave them alone, it's curfew! Or do you want me to put you to work?” Crewel reprimands, leaving the three running off with their tails between their legs. “You too Yuu.” And you nod and take it as your sign to leave.

You were gonna have a great time learning how to be a boy

[alice-after-dark]

Another RadioStatic AU Because I Can't Be Stopped

(I need to hurry the fuck up and actually turn one of these into a fucking fic...)

So this may have been inspired by the song "Alastor's Game" by the Living Tombstone and a horror movie called "Late Night with the Devil." Definitely recommend giving it a watch. It's a fun ride. Spoilers for the movie will be under the cut.

TW for murder, violence, and other canon-typical triggers.

Very brief rundown of the movie: a late night TV host in 1977 makes a deal with the devil to gain success and fame. Shit goes sideways when it's time to pay up.

RadioStatic Time!

Imagine Vox, still human and still Vincent, is a struggling late night TV host. He's got the cards stacked against him in every way possible. He doesn't come from a wealthy or celebrity background, he's given the worst program slot, he's got the bare minimum crew, and zero budget for guests or any other extras. And when he tries to argue for more, he keeps getting reminded that he's "fucking lucky" that he even has this chance at all. And still somehow he is managing mediocre results with next to nothing. Imagine what he could do with a proper budget and team, he tells them. No one listens. And then, one day, he's told that if he can't double his ratings by the end of the month, his show will be canceled.

Deep in depression, Vincent (either accidentally or on purpose) summons the Radio Demon (Alastor does not give him his actual name right away), who promises the young TV host 10 years of success in exchange for Vincent doing any favor that Alastor requests of him for the span of those 10 years (with the caveat that the favors are limited to once per day and must not interfere with Vincent's success). Alastor, in all his ulterior-motive glory, is using this deal to get himself access to the Living World and...finish some business (the use of his powers in the Living World are exclusively limited to fulfilling his end of the deal). Vincent, blinded by his own desperation, agrees, never once imagining those favors of Alastor's would involve murder. But if he refuses even a single favor, Alastor gets his soul. So he does what he's told.

At first the favors start small, with Alastor easing Vincent into taking commands from him, getting him used to fulfilling Alastor's requests. An authentic 1930s Philco Cathedral Radio here, an Ella Fitzgerald record there, nothing too big, nothing too fancy. Yet. Then, with Vincent's fame on the rise, he is asked to be a guest host for a show in New Orleans (which is certainly interesting because the show in question has never had a guest host before so Vincent suspects this is Alastor's doing somehow). And suddenly Alastor ups the ante. He needs Vincent to find someone, you see. A local hunter. Kind of a strange request, but okay. He's not all that hard to find either. Under the guise of doing some research on the local area to better understand his audience, Vincent finds an old article from 1933 about a hunter who shot a popular radio host in the bayou after mistaking him for a deer. The death was ruled an accident and the hunter was never charged with a crime. Some further digging reveals that he still lives in the bayou outside the city. Now comes Alastor's next favor: kill him.

Vincent is horrified. He tries to argue that this breaks their deal of interfering with his success, but Alastor insists that as long as Vincent follows his instructions to the letter, he will be just fine...unless he feels like handing over his soul? So Vincent does as he's told. One late night, with Alastor whispering in his ear, he stalks the man, knocks him out, and brings him to the basement of this old rotting house in the bayou (it looks as though it's been abandoned for at least a decade). And, after some nudging from the Radio Demon, Alastor takes it from there. After all, what's a little possession between friends?

Over the next 10 years, Vincent's fame grows and so does his relationship with Alastor. He begins enjoying the demon's presence and quirks and even their back and forth as to the superior form of media. He is beyond stunned when he discovers that Alastor is the very same radio host that he idolized growing up (and the very same radio host who was killed by the hunter). He's even more stunned when he finds he doesn't mind the torture and murder as much as he thought he would, even eventually asking to be a conscious participant. He's watched the Radio Demon so many times before plus he's always been a fast learner and Alastor guides him effortlessly and his powers make cleaning up the mess easy (though he still finds the void in which they dispose of the bodies eerie and unsettling; he swears there's something in there watching him whenever they travel through and Alastor has made it abundantly clear that under no circumstances is Vincent to let go of him while they do so).

When their 10 years comes to a close, there's an unspoken disappointment that hangs in the air. He doesn't understand the rules of Hell, but apparently Alastor's frequent trips to the Living World are gaining some suspicion and he can't risk extending their deal, so this is goodbye. Vincent realizes with reluctance that he's going to miss the Radio Demon. He wonders if Alastor will miss him too. He doesn't ask. And on the nights when he misses Alastor the most...well, the Radio Demon is nothing if not an exceptional teacher (even without the assistance of the creepy void magic).

It's hardly a year later when Vincent dies, shot in the head on live television by a crazed fan of the actress Vincent has recently begun dating (for the fucking publicity, no less).

---

Alastor knows the second Vincent arrives in Hell. Sooner than he expected, but he is delighted to be reunited with his friend/pet/protege nonetheless. He finds it rather hilarious that his head has taken on the form of that ridiculous picture box he was so enamored with. What a delicious form of irony! Hell truly never fails to amuse hi-

"If you're gonna fucking make fun of me, at least introduce yourself, asshole!"

Pardon?

Well...he was certainly right about Hell having a particular brand of irony.

But no, his noisy picture box does not remember him. He remembers all their deeds and the favors (and he continued killing after they parted, how splendid!), but Alastor's presence in them has been scrubbed clean, replaced and painted over by others. It doesn't make him sad of course! Perish the thought! Why would something so trivial make him feel something as mundane as sadness?! No, no, it's simply...an inconvenience. But not one he can't handle. He'll just have to start from scratch. After all, his memories are just fine, so he already has the advantage and it takes little convincing to get the newly fallen Sinner to accompany him as he continues about his day (he has some hunting that just can't wait).

New beginnings and all that jazz.

---

(My personal fav look for human!Vox if anyone cares)

[rinstrumental]

ellie gf headcanons

# modern au. im in luv with her. this is so long oh my god its an illness

did karate from 1st grade all the way up to high school and basically considers herself your bodyguard

immediately offers you her hoodie without a second thought when you show the slightest signs of being cold. she lets you keep it too, of course. what kind of girlfriend would she be if she didn’t ???!!!!

she needs either your hands on her or her hands on you at all times. sosososo touchy and BIG on pda her kisses are inescapable. constantly has an arm around you or resting on your waist… the whole world needs to know. she’s actually insufferable i’m sorry but in the most endearing way ever how can you resist

“would you still love me if i was a ____???” she wants a serious answer too

genuinely thinks ur the prettiest person alive. which is kind of the bare minimum but she worships you truly

happy with any sort of date as long as it’s with you. fancy dinner? this is the only reason she keeps a suit and tie. staying in? what movie do you want, babe? running errands? she’s already waiting for you in the car!!!

speaking of cars she drives an old station wagon which used to be joel’s. ellie used to moan about how lame it was until you said that the back was perfect for sitting together during camping or stargazing…. and other activities too ;) wink wonk

gets flustered when she makes you flustered because you’re telling her that SHE did that?? she made u nervous??? shit man now shes blushing too

her love language is gifts she loves to spoil you with your favourite snacks and soft toys and even homemade gifts. she just wants you to see her in your room and have her on your mind as much as you’re in hers!!

it’s no secret that she’s an artist and it’s also no secret that her favourite subject to draw is youuu!!! her favourite thing to do is just have you sit across from her and draw what she sees

of course naturally that means she takes tons of pictures of you… to study for her drawings… and keep in her special photo album of you… and to look at when she misses you. Ofc

makes fun of you/teases you sometimes. she can be a mean bitch to other people but she would never actually hurt your feelings and you know that

ellie hates goodbyes. even if it’s after spending a full day together and you’re going to see her soon anyways… i just know she’s the kind of person who feels empty after hanging out with someone.

calls and texts about everything… and it’s always so cute :( she definitely has autocaps on

ellie: I drew you again!!

ellie: Hey babe I saw this funny bird it reminded me of u

ellie: I miss you so much. When can I see you again?

ellie: These cats r like us lol

keeps a pet gecko or something like that for sure. it’s you guys’ baby

her top two movie genres are horror and romance after that. the only reason romance is that high up is because it reminds her of you

does stupid romcom shit like hold a boombox outside your window. makes you mixtapes even though CDs are basically extinct (joel has a player thank god). corny pickup lines. asks you to be her valentine publicly. runs to your house in the rain. dances with you in said rain.

when she gets sick it’s like the end of the world omg… she needs u to be at her side 24/7 and hold her and keep her company and give her get well soon kisses, it’s essential to her recovery. doctors orders. he said it not her!

gets along so well with your friends and family. she does her research and takes this shit seriously! whatever it takes to make you happy because what’s better than watching your girlfriend get along with the people you love

she also takes her own family seriously - family time is important to her and she spends a lot of time with joel. it’s even better when you can join, some of her best memories are with the two of you

“i’m happy as long as you’re happy”

pet names galore. her personal favourite is just babe (classic) but when she likes others too (sweetheart, honey, darling etc she’s so cheesy it’s awful)

in conclusion she’s just a clingy sappy lesbian who’s absolutely head over heels for you. and you wouldn’t have it any other way <33

bonus: (these tweets that are so ellie)

[thebroccolination]

People Think Krist Is Homophobic (but He Isn’t)

[TW: discussions of homophobia, death threats, "the rape filter joke", etc.]

Last September, I made a thread about The Whole Krist Thing, and I'd like to make a version here on Tumblr as well.

NOTE: My being a queer fan of Krist doesn’t override the feelings or opinions of other queer people. I fully understand that time on this planet is limited and you don't need to exert precious energy into researching an actor. The reason I'm making this is to provide context for people who are new to the fandom or just wondering why Krist is known as homophobic.

- Why I Made the Twitter Thread -

As a queer international fan living abroad, my understanding of Thailand, Thai culture, and Thai language is extremely limited. Like most of us, I rely entirely on translations, both official and fan-made.

After watching SOTUS for the first time in 2020, I saw English-speaking fans claiming that Krist Perawat, the actor who played Arthit, was homophobic. And it wasn't just one or two people saying it. It was dozens. Hundreds. That called for some research. I loved Arthit, and Krist's empathetic portrayal of him didn't mesh with the angry guy in the Instagram photo I was seeing passed around.

I'd made a number of queer Peraya fans on Twitter, so I went to them individually and asked, "What's this about Krist being homophobic?" As queer fans who were knowledgable and openly fond of Krist, I wanted to hear their side of things.

They sent me links and photos and videos and translations that thoroughly explained how Krist's reputation for being homophobic had gotten so out of control. The problem: those things weren't compiled in one place, and they were all on Twitter where the Asian Peraya fandom is most active. Interfans, meanwhile, took the worst of everything they could find and compiled it into contextless videos for Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, etc. Since the vast majority of Krist's fanbase is spread across Asia and many of them don't engage with the international fandom, it's no wonder to me that the homophobia thing has become so ubiquitous over the years.

It's a paradox where, in order to see the evidence of Krist's allyship, you kind of have to be a fan already. Or you have to know which keywords to use to navigate Twitter's nightmare of a search function (I know, Tumblr is worse). While I made that thread, I was regularly texting Peraya I knew things like, "Do you know where that one interview from 2019 is?" or, "Did you take a screenshot of the marriage equality post he made last month?"

The thread was difficult to make, and I'm a fan! What I know of Krist, I know because I've been a fan for three years and I have access to information that fans who have been here much longer can find.

I also procrastinated on making it for ages. I knew the amount of vitriol people hold against him, and I just wanted to enjoy my time in fandom quietly without calling waves of anger and hate to my carefully curated little corner of sunshine.

Then Krist was in a car accident.

And even though he was reportedly driving safely and slowly, Thailand is notorious for its poorly maintained roads and a high number of traffic accidents. Only months after receiving his first driver's license, Krist's car flipped upside down, and he had to reassure fans from the hospital that he was physically all right, just shaken.

Meanwhile, some international fans thought it was funny.

And that's when I started making the thread.

So, with all that said, let's start with Krist's allyship, because I know most of us agree that that's the bare minimum for an actor working in the BL industry and profiting off the queer community.

- Acts of Allyship -

In the early days of their SOTUS fame, Krist and Singto were interviewed about the LGBTQ+ community.

Acceptance and equality is something that the LGBTQ community still struggles to achieve up to this day. But both Singto and Krist believe that this should not be the case. “They are just humans. They are like me, and they are like everyone,” Krist claims. Furthermore, he mentions that we should all be given the freedom to love anyone we want to love. “It’s just natural,” he says.

“They don’t have to understand now,” Singto says, referring to those who can’t grasp same-sex relationships. “One day, when they find their true love, they will realize that love is the same no matter the gender.” Krist adds, “Gender is not relevant when it comes to love. But in case some people still don’t understand this in time, what’s important is that we all give due respect to each other at the end of the day.”

He's also educated himself in colors representative of the LGBTQ+ community.

When Krist and Singto attended an award ceremony for their photoshoot in the gay magazine Attitude, Krist shared a sentiment that he gave to a queer friend of his. "If no one accepts you, you can stay with me, because I accept you for who you are." [Paraphrased]

Despite Thailand's current government leaning on BL series as a new soft power, it's still very conservative, and its people are to this day fighting to see equal marriage recognized.

Krist often adds his voice to this fight on Instagram, specifically as someone who works in the BL industry. These were in 2021 and 2022:

And, like many young people in Thailand, Krist also seems to support the Move Forward party. Earlier this week, he used an orange heart in a tweet to encourage people to go out and vote in the most recent election. One of the many things the Move Forward party is pushing for is the legalization of same-sex marriage "with the same rights and responsibilities as their heterosexual peers", which the current military government actively does not.

- His Circle -

When I was making my Twitter thread, I hesitated before including mention of his queer friends and coworkers. I knew how that would sound, but in the same way I felt it was important to mention my own queerness, I also think it's important to highlight not just the presence of queer people in his life, but how comfortable they are with him.

As I said in my Twitter thread, having queer friends isn’t indicative of anything substantial, but I do think it’s important to look at how those queer friends interact with him. If you’re queer, you know firsthand which friends you’d be physically affectionate with. The entertainment industry is its own world, of course, and the weight and meaning of relationships and connections can be different, but for all Krist's fame and popularity, he's not so famous or remotely powerful that faking a friendship with him is going to get them very far.

Among his queer friends, you've got Jennie who babies him, Godji who treats him like her son, and Oat who still adores him years after SOTUS. All of them queer, all of them visibly affectionate in a way that feels authentic, at least to me.

On the professional side of things, I think the best example of someone who wouldn't bother with him if he were homophobic is Golf Tanwarin Sukkhapisit. In 2022, Krist worked on The War of Flowers with Golf, a nonbinary queer activist, former MP, and director of The Eclipse. Since they're not just a queer person in the industry but a vocal queer activist who's made incredible progress for the community in their country, I value their judgment of his character.

Again, the reason I bring up these people isn't to say, "Look! Queer people! He knows some!"

It's to point out that he's close to them, and it disrespects their judgment to casually assume that they’d cosy up to a homophobe.

It's a small point, yes, but it was important to me when I first became a fan to see that queer people who know him personally had "vetted" him.

- Growth -

For this next section, I'll address three things I see brought up most often: the rape filter joke, the rumor that Krist said he doesn't like watching men kiss, and the claim that he's only doing BL because rent is due.

1) The Rape Filter Joke

In 2017, Krist and Singto were on a live with (I think) two other friends. They were testing out different filters, and when they got to a blur effect, one of them (one of the friends, I think) said it looked like the filter they put over victims of sexual assault on the news. They all laughed, including Krist and Singto.

I can't find a video of the original event, but we do have a translation of the apology he gave in 2018, and the public apology he made in 2020 when the video resurfaced again.

While this is unfortunate, and it would be nice if he hadn’t done it, I’m more interested in how he responds to criticism and his growth afterward. The incident was in 2017, but even speaking on it in 2020, he didn't make excuses for himself.

He apologized, accepted culpability, educated himself, and has never repeated it.

2) Krist "Doesn't Like to Watch Men Kiss"

There's also a claim that goes around that Krist said he doesn't like to watch men kiss. But that isn't what he said.

The subtitled interview that this claim was taken from has been split into two parts, and I think a lot of people have only seen the first half, if they've seen either.

(Also, my deepest apologies, but I'm linking you to Twitter for the video clips.)

In the first clip, the hosts tease Krist about Singto's sex scene with another actor in Close Friends. I can't speak to the nuances of what Krist is saying in Thai, but in the subtitles, he's basically saying that as a guy, he doesn't want to watch stuff like that and just skips past Singto and his partner to one of the other couples, like the male-female pairs. With just this clip, I agree that it doesn't sound great.

But in the second clip, the hosts tease Krist until he admits that the "stuff" he doesn't want to watch is Singto specifically kissing people who aren't him. Krist's jealousy, especially when it comes to Singto, is a well-trod fanservice joke.

3) He's Doing BL Only for the Money

I mean, I have no idea, but it'd be very weird if this was true, because he hasn't been in a BL since 2018 (if you count Our Skyy), and he's doing very well for himself financially.

Listen, this is probably the least serious people get when they criticize him, but I'm including it because why not, this is already a thesis.

From what I understand based on actors' comments, BL roles don't make a lot of money for the actors. (Boun even quoted a surprisingly low daily salary recently, and I'll share it here if I find it again.) Of course, I imagine Krist has enough fame and clout that he gets paid more than most actors, but to be frank, he absolutely makes more from all his other work.

Apart from the acting work he's done, he hosts two music shows, he starred in a musical recently, GMM just flew him to Japan for the first leg of his Asia concert tour, he runs a restaurant with Wave, and he has a bunch of sponsorships. And that's off the top of my head. The car from his accident in 2021 was a luxury model, and he replaced it with another pretty soon afterward. I'm not bragging for him or anything, but the "he's just doing BL for the money" is an odd thing to say when he probably already earns more than most without doing it.

It would have been a better argument back in 2016 when Krist's family was deep in debt. Krist's said that his main motivation to join the entertainment industry back then was to pay off that debt for his family, and he did so with the money he made from SOTUS.

Krist has spoken in the past about wanting to do more BL roles, but GMM preferred that he work with Singto. Now that Singto's left GMM (likely to start his own agency), Krist is in Be My Favorite, so I think his explanation tracks.

It's also worth mentioning that you can do something for the money and also love what you do. In the case of SOTUS, Arthit wasn't just a role that made him money, he's the character who changed Krist's life. He honors Arthit to this day by always wearing the bracelet he wore to his audition and by naming his music studio "SUN St." after Arthit.

(This is a very minor point, but I don't think a homophobe would cherish a queer role to quite that extent even if it was their kick-off point. If anything, they'd probably try to bury the role and pretend their real success started later.)

- Perception of Sexuality -

I think the reason the IG story hits people so hard is because Krist's reaction makes it seem like he's horrified that people could even think he's gay. My understanding is that he was tired of people interrogating him about his sexuality.

Krist is very openly affectionate with the people he loves, regardless of gender, which is clear in the photos with his friends above. Thus, he's always been like that with Singto. They hug before every show, they sleep on each other, cuddle, what have you. All the stuff of people who have developed a tight bond over the years.

When Krist was asked if he was afraid that that would put off potential partners in the future (which, good god, the questions they're asked) Krist said he doesn't care how people perceive his sexuality.

This was in 2018, the year Our Skyy aired, and he's said similar things in passing before and since.

- Conclusion -

All of what I've posted here is just a slice of what's out there. This is just the stuff I could find with reliable English translations because I'm making this for an English-speaking audience. Krist's fans already know all of this, which is why he has queer fans in the first place, and a lot of them are just too tired by hate fatigue to keep correcting misinformation.

I'm not trying to get every person in the world to like Krist, I promise. He's not perfect. He's a loud mess, and while he has four cats who love him, they're also exhausted by him. I just happen to like loud, obnoxious people, especially when they're as kind as he is.

There are plenty of Thai actors I don't vibe with for any number of reasons ranging from serious to petty. You have my written permission to dislike some people.

The Instagram story he posted was a bad move, we're all agreed. He agrees. He's apologized multiple times over the years. Whether one accepts his apologies is each person’s right, and I understand if this is enough to turn people away.

I just hope it's clear that he's been a staunch ally of the queer community and remains so to this day.

Personally, I'm more upset about the question.

This isn't a question you ask anyone.

And this wasn't the first fan to ask him.

According to people who have been fans from the SOTUS era, Krist and Singto were both relentlessly dogged by fans about 1) their sexualities and 2) details about their relationship with each other. We've all likely seen it happen to actors today, but back in 2016, there weren't hundreds of BL actors vying for the spotlight, so the spotlight hit Krist and Singto in a way that we can't imagine today. Most of us, myself included, arrived in this fandom long after SOTUS's meteoric rise to popularity that ended up saving GMMTV from bankruptcy, but given how many fans still behave like they're entitled to know an actor's sexuality, I think it's safe to trust that it was relentless. Fans accusing Kit Connor of "queerbaiting" as recently as 2022 is proof of that.

At the end of the day, there are plenty of reasons to dislike Krist, just like there are to dislike any person on this planet. He's hyperactive, he's whiny, etc. He's not flawless, but I think he's more than shown through his actions that he isn't homophobic, either.

He's not some actor playing queer roles for clout. He's vocally supportive of queer rights, and he backed that up this week in the polls by voting for the most progressive party in his country who are actively pushing for marriage equality.

But like I said, you don't have to like him, so I'll end this post with a quote from a friend who doesn't like Krist for the funniest reason I've ever heard:

"I don't think Krist is homophobic. I just don't like him because he reminds me of every kindergartener who demanded my attention at the exact moment when I was carrying something that could spill – and then it did spill, and they laughed about it for five minutes."

[allurilove]

HI! Me again! SO.....i don't know if you do like little prefrences or something, so I'll just leave this idea here. How would reacht your yandere characters if reader have period cramps? like...what would they do to....*relieve* the pain? uu

Rated 18 + -- mature short content ! i mean not really.

They heard that sex helps and they ran with it--

But to be honest..

Yandere stalker and yandere blood bag is gonna be all over you, and his hand would be underneath your pants before you know it. Blood doesn't scare him, it literally turns him on. like omg. After he's done finger-fucking you, he'll lick his fingers clean, wash 'em, and repeat.

Yandere husband is probably the one with more knowledge about it, he has older sisters and he'll help you through it. He'll buy you a heating pad, all the food you want, and if you need space from him, he'll actually leave you alone. Which idk, seems pretty much like the bare minimum, but he's a needy man.

Yandere classmate (yearbook guy) and yandere chaebol... let's be real they're probably indifferent. "Oh you're on your period? Cool, me too."

Yandere boyfriend is like yandere husband, and he'll would be more of the worried type. He'll research for all of the things that could help with cramps and heavy flows. He'll draw a bath for you, and then also climb in and say he has cramps too.

Yandere survivor tries his best to cook for you. He doesn't want to burden you with anything, so he'll go out and look for the best humans to eat. He'll drag em, throw them down any hill and pray that it breaks their neck, and he would cook them. If that doesn't please you... his dismembered cock can. He legit carries it around with him, just imagine a man without a dick, but it's literally on a stick and in his hands.

Yandere prodigy's first thought is hmm. He would shrug and be like "yeah makes sense." Then he'll bring you flowers after your performances, chocolates, and something to cuddle at night (cause he's scared to ask you to cuddle him).

Yandere best friend is understanding. He has been around you long enough to know how you get when you're on your period. He would eat you out if you asked.

Yandere professor he's not around much, since he is your literal professor and he can't be seen with you in public. But when you tell him you're having a rough day, he'll let you skip his class (how generous..)

Yandere neighbor will drop by your house with a fresh plate of cookies. He'll pretend he's just here to be nice, and then find some way to convince you to let him stay for longer. Maybe, he'll also convince you to let him hit it raw so you don't have to deal with periods for nine months.

I think this is everyone....???

[entropicbias]

Last couple asks has me wondering what kind of johndave rep DO you like to read/see? Any examples you can think of in fanworks? And just your own interpretation. Thank you

i have got to reiterate that this is just a me thing. i'm not saying this to police anyone on their writing! i'm just really specific about the way i see these two get portrayed.

this is gonna suck and i'm gonna ramble about it for a while cause i'm mentally challenged. i have a hard time explaining my own thoughts with accuracy. sorry i can't keep this short and sweet. i am the type of person to just know when something is done right. i can't tell you why, but i'll try for you, anon. if you don't want to read all this here, i summarized it.

even more simplified

this is so crude. canon dave is really hard to nail for writers for some reason let alone the specific way i see him. i like a more chillaxed dave. some of the things that really throw me off with dave writing is missing the mark on how annoying he is and dumbing his character down to either angst, obama and apple juice jokes, or him being gay. i think john also encounters this issue. not enough research goes into their interests so writers can only represent them with the bare minimum. nicholas cage, con air, and 'dave i'm not a homosexual'. john and dave are assholes. they tease each other and aren't shy of doing that to other people. not that they're bad people! they care about each other and their friends a lot! but they're not afraid of being really honest about their thoughts or overexaggerating something that doesn't really bother them to poke fun at someone. they can make mendacious remarks to be polite, it just doesn't occur to them as often as just blatantly stating their thoughts on something or someone. i also like seeing them have more naturalistic dialogue. for some reason, when i think of that i think of zach from oneyplays or his character charlie from smiling friends. which is dumb even if it gives you an idea. i feel like a lot of this kind of banter is missing from these fanfics i read. at least, in the way i want it to go. think powerup comics.

gay part upcoming. i think the john and dave's relationship is best portrayed as a childhood crush that is unspoken of. a term i recently learned was "demiromantic", and i think that very perfectly describes how i think john's homosexuality would work. i mean, he doesn't really have a problem admiring dudes, which in itself could be called gay but that's not why i think he would be attracted to dave. i think it's kind of hilarious when people attribute john's homosexuality to him being "romantically interested in cage". john's idols are more like heroic figures to him. i don't like it when that is used as evidence that he's gay unless someone is making fun of him. this is the part where i talk about how john insists on the fact that he's straight. i'm not doubting that at all i think john still likes women and it's easier for him to do so. but he can also develop feelings for someone like dave. hence why i think he's demiromantic in that regard. this is exactly what my sexuality is like, so maybe i am projecting. i like to imagine i'm not projecting incorrectly, though. i think he'd only be able to develop feelings for dave in a setting where he is really a prominent figure in his life. earlier acts of homestuck were like this, but unfortunately the johndave relationship wouldn't work out on john's end with the way homestuck went. their friendship was kind of forgotten after a while, which sucks. in an ideal world, they would have remained in contact and then gotten close again in earth c. but dave was written to be with karkat and jade, which either nulls his feelings for john or opens up a whole new avenue of internalizing it. which is dumb and convoluted and i don't care about postcanon.

dave on the other hand would think about his feelings towards john a little more. i like to think that homestuck dave definitely had feelings towards john. i like to imagine they both developed a crush on each other around the same time, but unlike john who doesn't give it the time of day or even considers it as a crush, dave would. and he'd know that but he wouldn't want to act on it because of a plethora of reasons. probably to retain their friendship and his self image. i guess that could give them some 'angst'.

but you know what? i don't even care for romance all that much! they're bros before they're anything else! and that's all that matters to me! just nailing their friendship in itself is gold. john and dave mean a lot to each other in a platonic sense. even if they pursue other romantic avenues or don't, i don't care! i just like people putting them in a similar setting and showcasing their awesome bromance!

fig. 3, i also like davejade. thinking of iterations of him and john in fanworks that i like is really hard cause i don't read much in that department. what comes to mind is mr. tambourine man and some of deacon_blues's comics. kgtac has a really good dave and karkat too. cole is a spectacular writer. but i've finished neither of those comics so i'm just basing it off the very little i've read. also, none of these examples are particularly johndave related. i just wanted to note down examples of john egbert and dave strider writing i enjoyed. i read like, one comic faygos made but that was also pretty good. pinballhazard is also a phenomenal writer and artist. especially for john! you guys should check all these guys out. anyways, thanks for reading all that!

[catslvrr]

one too many years

kim minji x fem!reader | one shot

Synopsis: Minji comes back into your life after 3 years and asks you to take her on a drive, for old time’s sake. There’s a lot of feelings involved.

Contains: cursing

Playlist

You were fourteen when you first met Minji.

It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. You had seen her around, since you practically shared all the same classes, but never had the chance to interact one-on-one. She was merely a passing thought — that pretty girl who sat in the top ranks alongside you.

It was when the two of you had been paired up for a science project — something about a presentation on the digestive system, that you finally got to know each other. But not necessarily in a good way. You didn’t leave the best first impression after the first conversation.

You weren’t a hardworking person. But you weren’t stupid either. Growing up, you were used to being one of the smartest in the room. Teachers would always praise you for being naturally intelligent and academically gifted. You would do the bare minimum, leaving everything to the last minute, and yet always somehow end up with almost perfect scores.

You grew complacent, cruising through school with no worries in the world. So when you first started working with Minji, and she rambled on about meetups and splitting tasks and deadlines, you couldn’t help but internally scoff.

Minji pulled you out of your thoughts with a tap on the arm. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Huh?” You reflexively closed the MonkeyType tab.

“I asked what parts you wanted to cover,” she narrowed her eyes at you.

“Oh,” you waved dismissively. “Just give me what you don’t wanna do, and I’ll send you the stuff the day before it’s due.”

“What?” Minji scowled. “That’s way too late. I won’t even have time to proofread it and make the presentation pretty.”

“Two days?” You suggested with a half-smile.

She ran her fingers through her hair as she let out a sigh. “Three.”

“Okay, boss!” You grinned, opening up MonkeyType again and aggressively typing away, trying to beat your WPM record. “Done deal.”

Minji stared at you for a few seconds longer before huffing and turning to her laptop, starting her research.

(The two of you passed with flying colors, to no one’s surprise (except Minji’s), and that was when any grudges that Minji held against you flew out the window. Because if there was one thing Minji cared about, it was her grades.)

And that was how the two of you officially forged your friendship — Minji would always force you to be partners for any collaborative projects that came up, and you didn’t have anyone else to partner up with anyway. 

You slumped back in your chair and balanced yourself on its hind legs, looking around the room in boredom. Everyone else seemed to be actually doing their work. Something about researching a famous author.

“Hey,” you bumped Minji’s knee with yours under the table.

She ignored you for a few minutes until she couldn’t stand the constant nudging. She stomped her foot on yours.

“Fuck!”

“What do you want?” She hissed under her breath.

“What’re you doing?” You leaned towards her, obnoxiously peering over her shoulder to scan the document she had opened. It was a bunch of gibberish, to you anyway, but it had a nice color coding system at least.

“Researching Sylvia Plath,” she muttered. “Something that you should also be doing right now.”

“You know I’ll get it done,” you smiled cheekily, casually draping your arm on her chair.

Minji chose not to reply. You watched her type up an analysis of one of Plath’s texts, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in your foot.

“…Have you ever tested your words per minute?”

She gave you a side-eye. “What’s that?”

You bit back a smile. You knew how competitive she was. “It’s just a measure of how fast you can type. Think the average is around 80 or something.”

You could practically see her ears perk up at the word ‘average’.

“Is that what you do every lesson?”

“Most of the time. Or I’m playing Octagon.”

“Am I meant to know what Octagon is?”

“I’ll introduce it to you next time.” You shifted Minji’s chair closer to yours and dragged your laptop to her. “Here, try it out. You just have to type the words on the screen for 15 seconds straight. The words are random.”

“Is that it?” She furrowed her eyebrows.

You nodded. “You can type whenever. The timer starts as soon as you type.”

You watched as she began furiously typing, almost poking holes through the keys. Your eyes flitted around the room, checking to see if anyone noticed Minji assaulting her keyboard.

“Damn,” you whistled as the final score showed up. “Not bad.”

“100 and it’s my first time,” Minji proudly beamed and cracked her knuckles. “I’m above average.”

“Alright, relax,” you laughed softly. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, hotshot.”

“What’s your record?” She eyed you suspiciously.

You tried to hide your smirk as you shrugged nonchalantly. “Oh, nothing much. Just a measly 160.”

“What?” Her face dropped. “No way.”

“Yes way,” you nodded smugly. You successfully set the bait, now all you needed to do is reel it in. “There’s actually a website where we can ‘race’ against each other.”

Minji opened a new tab and swiveled her laptop in your direction, a doubtful look on her face. You smiled victoriously as you clicked your way to TypeRacer. Caught her.

The two of you spent the rest of the lesson racing against each other, Minji grumbling every time she lost (which was every round).

It was something else — watching Minji slowly unravel and open up to you. When you were expecting her to start homework early in class, she would ask you to get on TypeRacer instead. The two of you spent time playing other games too: Lavaboy and Watergirl, Tetris, Cool Math Games, and Octagon, of course.

Unfortunately, you still had to do work. There was an unspoken compromise that you could only get her to play games after you had finished the assigned work, so you actually ended up not procrastinating and finishing everything early for once (and in record time, too).

Becoming friends with Minji was easy. Seeing each other every day, you naturally grew closer and talked about everything under the sun. And eventually the two of you became inseparable. The two of you became known to be attached to the hip, never one without the other. You were proud of this, proud to be associated with such a good person, and you hoped Minji felt the same.

(Internally, you were surprised that Minji would choose to continue being friends with you outside of classes. There were better classmates out there. Regardless, you were grateful for the opportunity.)

You grew up together. You were there when she broke down in the bathroom after her speech on climate change because she thought she bombed it (she didn’t). You were there when she discovered the Harvard Reference Generator for the first time (she had written bibliographies by hand before this, which was absolutely mind-boggling to you).

Likewise, she was there when you were panicking at 5am because you hadn’t finished your history research paper on the Indo-China war that was due in two hours. She was there when you accidentally fell asleep in the library and almost missed the next class.

There was no better person to call a best friend. So it wasn’t much of a surprise that falling in love with Minji was even easier. There was no dramatic realization, no lightbulb moment where you suddenly stopped in your tracks and felt the world flip on your head as you thought Fuck, I like Minji.

It was quieter, creeping up on you, as if it was always there. As if it had already been written in fate. You do remember the first time you consciously admitted it though, cementing it in your heart.

Both of you were 15 by then. It was a languid Tuesday afternoon, and you were doodling random shapes as the teacher droned on about erosion and longshore drift. You lazily smiled as you observed Minji — the sharp slope of her nose, the crinkle in between her eyebrows, her tongue slightly poking out as she diligently wrote down notes.

Feeling your gaze on her, Minji turned to you and quirked her eyebrow, nudging you as she wrote ‘What are you staring at?’ on the margin of her notes. You shrugged innocently and looked away with a smile and burning ears.

She’s pretty, you thought. I like her.

Young love — it was naive and innocent. You would do stupid things to get Minji’s attention, like leaving your collar messy or ruffling your hair just so she would fix it. You remember making playlists with her in mind so you could zone out and daydream about her. You cherished these moments. You weren’t one to want, but you wanted Minji.

To you, Minji was the highlight of your high school experience. From sharing Airpods in class and queuing airhorn sounds to watch her jump in her seat when it blasted out of nowhere, to inviting yourself to her Google documents so that you could change the font to be unreadable and the color to a blinding neon pink, to receiving her Airdrops of cute puppy photos, to accidentally downloading viruses from trying to watch anime on illegal streaming websites, to taking Photobooth pictures of each other sleeping. 

And this was enough for you. Habits were hard to break, and your longstanding tendency of procrastinating didn’t appear out of nowhere. It was rooted deeply in the fear of failure — you were so used to being good at everything on your first try, or without having to try at all, that you were scared that if you did try, and failed, people’s perception of you would change.

So procrastination was a way for you to control this fear; it provided a scapegoat, for if you ever failed, you could blame it on a lack of time rather than your own shortcomings.

This fear translated to your feelings for Minji too. You had never liked anyone else before, and you were terrified of failure, the unknown possibilities that came with confessing. You would rather swallow down your feelings and bury them deep within your chest than have to face rejection and lose your best friend.

(And it wasn’t like you thought you had a chance either. She had always been the smarter one, the kinder one, the more responsible one out of the two of you.)

And so you let the feelings fester in silence, all the way up to graduation. It wasn’t easy to hide your feelings, but it wasn’t hard either. You resorted to teasing Minji like you always did, and seeing her happy was enough. She stayed focused on her studies and continued to excel in all her classes. 

Your job was just to be there for her, to be the one to help her relax and find respite from studying.

You were both 18 when you graduated high school. Minji was going away for university, somewhere far away where you couldn’t follow. You weren’t shocked — you always knew Minji was greater than this place. That’s how it always was in your head: she would go on to find success while you stayed behind in the shadows, cheering her on.

You had a plethora of things to thank Minji for. She never let you fall behind. Even if her kicks on your shin left bruises, at least it got you to stop playing Minecraft on your laptop and attempt to be productive.

It was embarrassing to admit that one of your biggest motivations to study and try was to be considered worthy as Minji’s friend. Not that you would admit it to anyone. You made it to graduation, and that’s what mattered.

You never liked saying goodbye to Minji, but you knew she would do well wherever she went. This goodbye wasn’t like the others, where you knew you could go to sleep with the promise that the two of you would meet at the school gates the next day.

It was more definitive.

You let out a long exhale as you leaned against the school gate, waiting for Minji to finish speaking to teachers, friends, and family who were congratulating her.

You watched as students filed out, chatting animatedly and taking photos together. You probably weren’t going to remember any of them. You plopped a lollipop in your mouth. It was strawberry-flavored, just how Minji liked it.

You smiled as you saw Minji coming out.

“Hey, Miss Popular,” you teased. “Done greeting all your fans?”

She rolled her eyes. “Are we going to get ice cream?”

“Yeah,” you pushed yourself off the gate and started walking to your car. “I thought that ceremony was never going to end. Tell me why every speaker kept yapping on and on.”

“Right,” she groaned. “I was trying my hardest not to fall asleep.”

The two of you walked in silence for a while before Minji broke it. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “The same, I guess. How about you?”

“Scared,” she admitted. “University seems like such a big change.”

“Yeah,” you said. You had been trying not to think about it. “You’ll be leaving in a few weeks, right?”

She bit her lip as she nodded. You both got in the car.

“Have you packed?”

“I’m about halfway done. It’s harder than I thought,” she complained sulkily. “I want to take everything with me.”

“Does everything include me?” You asked cheekily as you started the car, passing Minji your phone to pick a song.

“Absolutely not,” she deadpanned. “You would be the last thing I’d bring.”

“Liar. I’m way better than whoever you’re getting as a roommate.”

“Are we talking about the same person? I’ve literally seen the state of your room… it’s like a landfill in there.”

“No it’s not,” you said defensively. “It may be a little messy, but everything has its own place. It’s organized in its own way.”

“Sure,” she chuckled. “You keep telling yourself that.”

You pulled up to the place. You took a while to parallel park (Minji laughing at you while recording didn’t help), but you got it eventually. It was a quaint little store, and the two of you were regulars. You both got hooked after discovering this place when you got lost trying to find where you parked for a shopping trip.

You smiled when you heard the familiar chiming of the bell as you opened the door, the air-conditioning hitting you in the face. You chucked your lollipop stick in the bin. The store owner, a middle-aged woman from the area, looked up and waved in recognition.

She was sweet, sometimes giving you both an extra scoop or toppings if you showed her good test results (which was all the time). The only issue you had with her was that she kept trying to set Minji up with her son who was almost graduating from university.

“The usual?” She asked, already preparing your cups.

“Yes, please,” Minji answered with a polite smile.

You both sat down after collecting the ice cream with thank you’s and the payment (this one was on you). Minji would always get the cheesecake flavor (which you never understood and adamantly refused to try), while you would settle for the classic chocolate. Sometimes, if you felt adventurous, you would ask for pistachio.

“It’s hard to believe that this might be the last time I eat here for a while,” Minji said.

“I know,” you pouted. “The poor store is gonna lose so much money now that you’re gone.”

You winced as she kicked you under the table. You mentally noted to get your shin x-rayed at some point.

“You're so annoying,” she grunted. “Can’t you be sentimental for once?”

You were sentimental. Especially when it came to Minji. You just weren’t the type to show it. That was one of the differences between the two of you — Minji was straightforward and self-assured, never having trouble voicing her feelings. You, on the other hand, preferred to mask your emotions with humor and deflections, saying a lot without really saying much.

You liked that about Minji. It was definitely jarring when you were first getting to know each other, but you learned to appreciate her bluntness and honesty. It meant you didn’t have to overthink as much.

“I am sentimental!”

“You literally gave me a card that just said ‘HBD’ on it for my birthday. Actually, it wasn’t even a card! It was a post-it note.”

“That is sentimental…”

Minji glared at you.

“Okay,” you huffed, folding your arms. “Maybe it’s not. But it’s the thought that counts.”

“If you’re so thoughtful,” she tilted her head. “You wouldn’t mind helping me clean and pack, right?”

“…Fine.”

You regret not getting a parting gift for Minji when she left. Her departure was bittersweet, like all departures tend to be, with tearful promises to keep in touch. You never ended up confessing, and so you tucked away your feelings in the locked box that held all of your memories with Minji — the one you kept hidden in your closet, filled with birthday letters from her, polaroids, receipts and other miscellaneous collectibles from your time spent together.

The hardest part was watching her cry as she said goodbye, both to her family and friends. She had always been more of the crier between the two of you. You remember her pulling you in for a hug, her arms wrapped tightly around you as her tears stained your hoodie.

“I’ll miss you,” she sniffled. “Keep in touch, okay?”

“I’ll miss you too,” you mumbled, barely audible over the chatter in the crowded airport. “You’ll do great, just like you always do.”

She pulled back with a sad smile. “Thank you, Y/n. I’ll try to come back soon.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

You held back your tears on the drive home, only allowing yourself to cry when you reached the comfort of your bed.

You weren’t one to welcome change. You enjoyed the stability that routine brought. Minji leaving was a change that left a gaping hole nothing could fill. You always preferred solitude, but the loneliness that was gnawing at you because of Minji’s absence was hard to adapt to.

‘Keeping in touch’ never really works out the way you want it to. The first few months were fine, the two of you consistently Facetiming and texting as you both settled into uni life. Then as months went by, texts were less frequent, especially during exam season.

By the time you were both 20, communication was sparse between the two of you. The two of you were never avid texters anyway. You did chat from time to time, making small talk, or talking when there was something to talk about, like birthdays or a memory popping up on Snapchat.

Small talk with her wasn’t really small talk though. You savored every conversation, clinging onto past memories and what she made you feel. 

It wasn’t really the same. Both of you knew this. You never held it against Minji, though. Watching her Instagram stories with her new friends and posts of her adventures brought you happiness. You hoped she was happy too.

But on the melancholic nights when you went out on drives to ease the emptiness, coasting through the sleeping streets with nothing but the moon to guide the way, you felt Minji’s ghost in the passenger seat. And if you tried hard enough, you could almost feel her presence, imagine her soft laughter.

You would always wonder if she was also thinking of you when she lay in bed at night, when she opened up a new document, or when she went and ate ice cream with her friends.

When the ache in your chest was too much to bear, you would roll down the window, find solace in the wind blowing against your face, and turn up the volume of your playlist to drown out your own thoughts. You felt silly for yearning for someone who was miles away now, both literally and metaphorically.

You were 21 when you met Minji again. It was the end of the year, so anyone who left was finding their way back home for the Christmas break. You knew she was coming back, you saw the stories of her packing and the pre-flight pictures.

This was the first time she was coming back — she couldn’t make it the previous three years. You didn’t know why, because you didn’t ask. You didn’t know if you still had a place to ask.

She texted you and asked to hang out. It didn’t really come to fruition until one unsuspecting Friday night. You were playing a parkour map on Minecraft when you received a call notification from her. You almost dropped your phone when you saw it.

“Hello?”

“Y/n, hey.”

You wiped the sweat off your palms. It had been a while since you last heard her voice.

“Did you need something? It’s almost midnight…”

You heard her scoff over the phone. “Don’t act like you go to sleep early.”

“I’m not! It’s just, you know, pretty random for you to call out of nowhere. Especially at this time.”

There was a short pause. You set your phone on your lap as you continued to make your way through the parkour map, distinctly tasting the strawberry flavor of the lollipop more now, for some reason. You knew why.

“Are you seriously playing Minecraft right now?”

You stopped. “…Maybe. How'd you know?”

“I can hear you smashing the space button,” she laughed, sounding almost fond. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

You cleared your throat to fight the embarrassment. “Anyways. What’s up?”

“Oh, right. I know it sounds crazy, but do you wanna go on a drive?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah. For old time’s sake, you know. And I miss you.”

“Um,” you got off your bed and opened your closet. “Sure.”

“You’re driving by the way.”

You rolled your eyes. “Thanks for letting me offer.”

You grabbed a familiar hoodie. It was Minji’s. You remembered Minji stealing your hoodie, and giving one of hers to you as a peace offering. You both agreed that the swapped hoodies were a better fit for each other. You decided to wear another one.

“I’ll pick you up in 15?”

“See you soon!”

“Wow,” Minji said as you pulled up in her driveway. “New car?”

She was still so pretty. You temporarily discarded the lollipop stick in the cup holder before popping your head out of the window. “Get in, loser.”

“I kinda miss your old one,” she clicked her seatbelt in as you started to reverse out.

“You sure about that?” You asked incredulously. “The air conditioning didn’t work half of the time. And the window on your side couldn’t fully roll down.”

Minji shrugged. “Still held a lot of memories.”

You both smiled as you reflected on the many nights spent in the old junk: belting your hearts out on highways, feasting on fast food in empty parking lots, sitting on the hood at lookouts that flaunted the city’s charms. You put on your playlist that you always had on loop whenever you thought about her.

“Speaking of memories,” she continued. “I see you still have this little guy.”

She poked the bobblehead of a monkey wearing sunglasses. It bobbled. She bought it on a whim at one of those quirky souvenir stores because the two of you were both born in the year of the monkey. Little Guy had been here for a while, since your old car. 

“New car felt pretty empty,” you said. “I couldn’t live with the guilt of throwing him out.”

What you didn’t say: I have a bad habit of hoarding anything that reminds me of you.

“That’s good to hear,” she grinned, reaching into her pocket. “Because I bought him a friend!”

You glanced at Minji in amusement while the light was still red. She carefully placed the new bobblehead next to Little Guy. It was another monkey one, slightly taller than the original, and it was posing with a peace sign.

“Where’d you find that?”

“Pure coincidence,” she explained. “I was out shopping with my friends one day and I saw it. I knew I had to get it.”

You tried to focus on the road as thoughts began racing through your head. She still thought about you. That was good to know.

“Thanks.”

You bit your lip as there was another lull in the conversation. There would always be so much to say back then.

“I can't believe it’s been three years,” is what you settled for.

“Yeah,” Minji’s eyes softened. “It has.”

You tightened your grip around the gear stick. “How are things over there?”

“Really good,” she answered. “Besides university. That’s always a pain in the ass, no matter where you are.”

“That’s good to hear,” you said. And you truly meant it.

“I get homesick a lot, though,” she confessed. “I miss the food, my room, everything. You should visit one day.”

“Maybe,” you pursed your lips. “I’m super broke after buying the new car, though.”

“Do you still do the tutoring thing?”

“Yeah. It’s relatively easy and brings the money in.”

“I still can't believe you willingly tutor math.”

“And I still can't believe you don’t tutor. You’re so much smarter than me.”

“That’s not true,” she frowned. “But, I’m glad you bought the new car. So I don’t have to drive.”

You sighed in mock frustration. “Three years and you’re still a passenger princess.”

She only laughed in response. “Enough about me. How have you been?”

“I’ve been good. Just living life.”

Heat washed over you as you felt Minji’s intent gaze on you. There was always something so compelling about her, the fact that she could disarm you easily and make you feel unguarded. 

“Uni sucks,” you continued hesitantly. “I’m still procrastinating. And playing Minecraft during my lectures.”

“I was wrong,” she said with a hint of a smile. “You’ve changed.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “I have?”

She tilted her head slightly, still studying you. “You seem more… withdrawn. And grown-up. Weary, even.”

“I’m the same as I always was,” you said, but you weren’t too sure who you were trying to convince. Maybe spending all this time alone along with the inevitability of growing up did change you.

“I’m still amazing at typing. None of my friends have beat my record yet.”

“Of course you still brag about that,” Minji rolled her eyes.

She turned to face the window again, watching the scenery that rushed past.

“But, my point still stands. You have changed. Since when was I the one to lead the conversation?” She asked playfully, but you knew there was some truth behind it.

Younger you would jump at the opportunity to hang out with Minji and talk her ears off. When the two of you started to grow apart due to the long distance, you subconsciously stopped initiating conversation. You just wanted to quell your feelings and move on as soon as possible. It worked, for the most part, you think. 

Until tonight, that is. Seeing her again after all these years fostered emotions you weren’t sure you wanted to face. You’d never tell Minji any of this, though.

“You’ve changed too,” you said. “You look older. Hag.”

“Rude,” she scoffed and pinched your hand on the gear stick.

“I’m joking,” you continued with a faint tug on your lips. “You carry yourself lighter now. But you still have that maturity about you.”

She leaned back in satisfaction at your response, humming in acknowledgement.

“By the way, did you have a destination in mind?” You blurted out. “Cause I’m just driving mindlessly, if that’s okay with you.”

“That’s fine,” she murmured, her gaze lingering on you. She could always read you like a book. You hoped that these years changed that. She could probably feel the nervousness and awkwardness radiating off you.

You welcomed the silence as you tapped on the steering wheel to the rhythm of the current song, processing what was happening. Minji was here, in the car, with you now. Just like how it used to be. A different car now, though. And a different her. A different you, too. You had missed her so much, but now that she was here, you didn’t know how to feel or what to say.

You took a last-minute turn, deciding to drive on a path that you knew all too well, one you could practically drive with your eyes closed.

(Pass by the park where you would force Minji to push you on the swing. Keep driving straight until you reach that one flickering street lamp, then turn right. Continue driving, cross three roundabouts, then turn left on the fourth, driving onto a rocky road.)

Minji smiled as she recognized the destination.

You parked the car and the both of you hopped out, feet on the gravelly surface. You had walked on this ground so many times now that it was basically ingrained into your feet. The two of you sat on the hood of your car. It was a bit chilly, but the hood was still warm from the engine.

Minji breathed out deeply. “This view never gets old.”

“No,” you murmured in agreement. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Did you still come here?” She turned to look at you. “When I was gone, I mean.”

“Sometimes.”

The two of you continued to take in the view, both lost in your own thoughts.

You always wished you could capture a moment in time, especially the moments with Minji: the light fluttering in your chest, the quiet intimacy you two shared. This moment was no different.

Nostalgia was a deceiving thing. You had dreamt of this moment so many times — meeting Minji again. That it would be like the polaroids you kept at home, give you peace of mind, provide you with some sort of comfort. It was silly of you to think that, too idyllic and quixotic. Maybe it was a good thing that you’re not as optimistic anymore.

You could barely contain your shock when the next words came out of Minji’s mouth.

“I loved you, you know.”

You swallowed down the hope that started to rise in your chest like water. You didn’t want to drown in the feelings you had suppressed long ago.

“I loved you too,” you said warily, slightly confused. “You were my best friend.”

The use of past tense left a bitter taste in your mouth. But you were afraid she had moved on, found new friends and found a home in them.

Minji smiled wryly. “I meant that romantically. As in more than best friends.”

You took in a sharp breath. You wanted to cry. All those years I spent wanting, you thought, and she loved me too.

“You loved me?” You whispered in disbelief, wringing your hands together.

There was an unreadable look on her face. “You say that like it’s hard.”

Isn’t it? You wanted to say. What could you possibly have loved? The tight squeeze on your chest was persistent, uncompromising to your pain.

“I loved you too,” you said quietly. You had always thought confessing would lift the weight off your shoulders, free your heart from the burden of hiding. You never felt more hopeless than in this moment, though. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“How could I?” Minji replied as she sagged her shoulders, her voice small. “I was so sure you only saw me as a friend. You were always teasing, so I didn’t know if you were seriously flirting or not. And you’re not the emotional type… I couldn’t tell how you felt about me.”

“I’m sorry,” you exhaled shakily. “You seemed so focused on your grades and your work, I thought I never stood a chance.”

“You don’t need to apologize. We were both stupid,” she shook her head with a chuckle. “I can’t believe teasing was your only way of showing affection. I think tonight’s the first time I’ve heard you say ‘I love you’.”

You never wanted to say it, because you felt guilty that it meant something else to you than it did to her (or you thought it did). You wanted to give your younger self a kick in the shin.

Minji’s eyes were glassy, shining with unhushed tears, and you wanted to reach out to her. Your hands were resting on the hood of the car, only centimeters apart. If you were brave enough, you would inch your finger closer, ever so slightly, to brush against hers.

But you were never courageous.

You felt like you were suddenly 14 again, staring at your laptop screen, staying up late to finish your Sylvia Plath research task, reading an excerpt from The Bell Jar. You had stared at the fig that held the possibility of you being Minji’s for so long, never daring to believe it, and watched it die. And the way your heart plummeted now was the fig dropping at your feet.

You tried to not let the quiver in your voice show. “Do you think things would be different now if one of us confessed back then?”

“Of course it would be,” Minji smiled ruefully. “But there’s no point in thinking about it too much. What’s done is done.”

She was right — what-ifs were a dangerous rabbit hole to find yourself in. You didn’t know which was more paralyzing: the fear of ‘what if Minji rejects me’ from back then, or the regret of ‘what if I had confessed’ now. It’s always so easy to berate yourself for making the wrong choice once you know the outcome.

Then, as an afterthought, she added, “I wonder how the younger versions of us would react to us now. I don't think they'd recognize us."

You laughed softly. “No, they wouldn't."

The two of you spent a few more minutes in silence.

“You’ll be leaving again in a few weeks, right?”

“Yeah,” she checked her phone, hopping off the hood. “We should head back. It’s almost 2am.”

There was so much left unsaid. But if you had learned one thing from tonight, it was that things were different now. This is how things were meant to end. Sometimes, things just don’t work out, and you just have to learn to live with it.

You should’ve realized how stuck you were in the past, your mind refusing to accept the fact that everything has changed. And that everything will continue to change.

There was a certain sense of freedom in the conversation on the way home, like the two of you knew that you wouldn’t get something like this again. You reminisced and laughed about the good old times, and you think that this was enough. This is what you needed. 

Letting go can be a beautiful thing as much as it is painful. And love isn’t something you ever stop doing, or feeling, it’s always present in whatever fig you choose to grab, and it transforms into what it wills. You’ve chosen yours, and Minji’s chosen hers. You’ll always love her, just not how you used to.

“Thanks for the ride,” Minji clumsily pulled you in for a hug (it was a bit cramped because you were both in the car). “Take care of Little Guy and Big Guy.”

There weren’t any promises to keep in touch this time, and that was okay. If you were to ever see each other again, then nature will take its due course.

“Enjoy your time back here, Miss Popular,” you smiled. “I’ll see you when I see you.”

You watched Minji exit the car. There was a fleeting spark of hope as she lingered at the door, but you quickly shut it down. You weren’t the kids you used to be. But maybe in another lifetime, things would end up differently.

Your eyes followed her as she walked to the front door, waving at you before entering the house and closing the door behind her. You waited until you saw her bedroom light turn on through the window.

You started the drive back home and turned up the music, deciding to take the long way.