#all in all 10/10 dreams this is exactly what my brain should be showing me everytime i go to sleep

[muzsmoux]

Reviewing tgcf characters because I have thoughts

I finished S2 recently and I need somewhere to put my not exactly hot but like warm (?) takes because it's taking up too much storage space in my brain.

🤍 Xie Lian 🤍

It's a good thing I'm not into guys because if I was I would be on my knees for this man in every sense of that expression and his pet menace to society would mince me up like garlic.

So I'll try to be brief about my overflowing feelings about him. Xie Lian is the best main character I have come across in a WHILE. He's the embodiment of compassion and kindness. And also a cold blooded murderer. A babygirl. A father figure. A terrifying martial god. A silly little guy. A pathological liar. The most genuine man you'll ever meet. He's everything, and Hua Cheng is 100% valid in his obsession. I'm right there with him.

Rating: 10/10

❤️ Hua Cheng ❤️

Idk if we ever figured out who wrote My Immortal but I'm pretty sure we have our culprit.

"Hi my name is Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower Red-Robed Ghost King and this is my evil weapon of death E-ming. I've killed soooo many gods with it!! My dark power is I can summon storms of BLOOD and SUFFERING. I have my own scary city of DEMONS and they all love me and think I'm HOT but I only want my BOYFRIEND who's the only REAL GOD so STOP FLAMING HIM YOU POSERS-"

Needless to say I love him. Being the 8 time winner of the Loverboy of the Century Awards with unbeatable records in the yearning olympics is truly a remarkable feat.

Rating: 9/10

(Bonus: E-ming. Cute little guy. Likes his stepdad more than his real dad. Not afraid to show it's feelings even if it makes it look like a muppet, 10/10)

🧡 Feng Xin & Mu Qing 🧡

Tweedle dee and tweedle dum gets a shared rating because they would hate to be grouped together like that and that's funny to me. Their dynamic is great, they're good characters, I wasn't sure which one was which until midway through the second season. But then also I have a pair of 7yo twin cousins who I still can't tell apart despite them not looking even a slight bit similar so that might just be a character flaw on my end. Oops.

Rating: 7/10

🩵Shi Qingxuan🩵

I'm doubling the rating because she is best boy and best girl at the same time. I love that I can use any and all pronouns for him because he's literally a pride parade personified and therefore all of them are correct. You don't get that type of chaotic fun just anywhere.

He is truly living my dream, presenting as whatever gender they want depending on what's more convenient and/or funnier in the moment. Super useful, for things like gathering intel and terrorizing Feng Xin by being a woman.

And I personally think we should crown her the new emperor. She'd look significantly better on that throne, with her Barbie-like radiance and flourishing Kenergy.

Rating: 20/10

🖤 Ming Yi 🖤

Listen, I hate to say it because I like a sunshine x grump moment as much as the next gay but he's just... not giving what he thinks he's giving. Everyone is whispering ominously about him having some dark devastating secret but MY point is no matter how big his boobs are in his female form, Shi Qingxuan could do better. I'm sorry. She really could.

Rating: 4/10

💙 Lang Qianqiu 💙

Just an honest man with good intentions and a sickass fucking sword. He did NOT hesitate to attack the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower on SIGHT and I respect a quick decisionmaker, even if it shows some himbo tendencies. He also has the same distinct energy as Fred from Scooby Doo.

Rating: 6/10

💚 Qi Rong 💚

He's got some odd dietary and moral choices going on. Definitely. But he's just such a fun villain!!! Being Xie Lian's nr 1 source of migraines SHOULD make me like him less but I'm sorry, every time he was on screen I was LIVING. He would do numbers on reality TV. Someone put this guy on Kitchen Nightmares, I need to see him 1v1 Gordon Ramsay.

Rating: 7/10

🌚 Jun Wu 🌚

He has his emperor status & DILF card going for him but something about this man just ain't right. If he came to a party I was attending I would cover my drink is all I'm saying.

Rating: 2/10

🔥Pei Ming🔥

I don't know much about him besides he had that one shady empolyee or whatever (could not hear the plot over the deafening sound of Hua Cheng's yearning) but I'm partial to a good manwhore character. The thought of people praying to him like "Hugh Mungus, who art in heaven-" really tickles me.

I know he's probably straight but I headcanon him as at the very least bi-curious because you can't be that hot with that much game and not use it for evil. (That evil being causing large scale gay awakenings among his soldiers.)

Rating: 7/10

❓Pei Xiu❓

Unreliable, unimportant, unattractive, unemployed.

I remember not a singular thing about him besides fucking up Xie Lian's daughter's life and also being on my last nerve from the jump. If you're going to be evil at like least be memorable about it, you know? You can't be a bad person and a bad character at the same time. Pick a struggle.

Rating: 1/10

📚 Ling Wen 📚

I heard she committed some war crimes but honestly if I had to do an entire realm's tax returns by myself AND teach Pei Ming how to read (I refuse to believe that man is literate, just look at him) I would want to rage on occasion too. I hope she has a hot wife waiting for her at home to give her massages after carrying the whole system on her back all day. It's what she deserves.

Rating: 8/10

Thank you for reading!! Opinions might change once I read the books but as of now this is it. Remembering everyone's names has been a journey and a half so this post is sponsored by @kirstenly 's character cheat sheet go look at it! and everything else too!!!

[sixofpomegranates]

All of them are Eddie Munson fics since I am going through some severe brain rot because of this spicy golden retriever.

The order is random and not indicative of how much I liked them. There is no ranking, just sharing some really good pieces of work so we can all enjoy it!

10 Recommendations || 🐇 = My opinion. || Pink Color = SMUT

As You Wish (series) by @corroded-hellfire

➢ Summary: When Eddie isn’t appreciated like he should be, his babysitter feels the need to step in and comfort him.

🐇: I am OBSESSED with the entire universe. Like, really, really obsessed. Older!Dad!Eddie has my whole heart. His boys too. Brittany can go to hell. Long story short: Highly Recommended! It rearranged my brain chemistry. Oh, and it's spicy. || Not sure if it's still ongoing, but the way I am stalking the author's page I’ll sure as hell find out.

Eddie Had A Little Lamb (one-shot) by @honey-flustered

➢ Summary: Eddie is trying to be good and with your help, he could be exactly that. But Kas, on the other hand, thrives in all that is unholy and he’ll stop at nothing to bring you and Eddie to the dark side.

🐇: This rearranged my brain chemistry. I want more like this. I love this. Send me recommendations with fics like this. Jesus H. Christ.

who’s to say [pt.2] by @quinnsbower

➢ Summary: your father, jason carver, promises you one thing and can’t deliver it to you. you decide to get back at him and it him where it really hurts: eddie munson.

🐇: This is responsible for getting me hooked on older!eddie. This is the reason I will be writing an older!eddie fic. This rearranged my brain chemistry. I liked this way too much. So good. Sweet, old guy Eddie.

Caught Me Slippin’ (one-shot) by @uglypastels

➢ Summary: [modern!au] feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories.

🐇: No, because YOU hurt my feelings. You gave me an amazing one-shot with banging smut and then broke my heart. I love you and this piece, and forgive you, but damn.

Honey, I'm Home! (series) by @trashmouth-richie

➢ Summary: you were desperate for a roommate after Nancy got married and moved out. An ad in the paper goes unanswered until someone comes knocking on the door.

🐇: Obsessed, but I’d kill this menace!Eddie. I do not have enough self-control to not go to prison for ending this feral raccoon’s existence. || It's still ongoing. Eventual smut.

The Soulmates (series) by @neonghostlights

➢ Summary: Eddie Munson never thought he would be one of the lucky ones. Him being the only one in his family to be given a soulmate mark was a miracle. What happens when his soulmate is not the one he wanted? Will he be able to give up his dream girl to be with the one he’s meant to be with? Or will he just have to learn to ignore the other half of his soul?

🐇: Like it a lot. I found it through a reblog and read all the existing parts in one go. It's a Soulmate AU, the first one I read. || It's still ongoing.

You Give Love A Bad Name [pt.2] by @cinemaquinn

➢ Summary: eddie munson was a world famous rockstar. and, apparently, an asshole. but you weren't one to believe rumours, so when eddie asks to meet you, who are you to say no?

Conviction (one-shot) by @tiannasfanfic

➢ Summary: Life takes an unexpected turn when a one time fling with your best friend leads to an unplanned pregnancy. Will years of friendship be enough to build a solid marriage off of...or are you destined for heartbreak due to a wandering eye like the town rumor mill predicts?

🐇: This was so cute. Especially the ending. Yes, this was spicy. Very good.

Destructive Solutions (one-shot) by @bimbobaggins69

➢ Summary: after becoming roommates with your high school crush and finally getting out of your crazy strict parents house, you get a little too close to him and his best friend (your coworker) —but they’re straight, right?

🐇: yes. I am Steddie x f!Reader trash. I love it when the chemistry is there. And it was there. I loved this so much that I am writing my thoughts on this for the 7th time now because tumblr is a bitch.

Show Me (one-shot) by @bimbobaggins69

➢ Summary: you accidentally stumble upon your best friend/roommates porn stash, you quickly learn he’s the main star. After seeing him in ways you never have, will your friendship ever be the same?

🐇: yes. yes. You may have noticed that that's the second fic from @bimbobaggins69 That's because I found her through reblogs and since then am sure that her fics don't miss, no matter what she posts.

Seriously.

Fuck Tumblr for always deleting the last couple of sentences.

[myteavsricochet]

jeez guys, 10 asks on the same topic that basically all say the same thing is too much for me and my Italian brain that can't write in English 😭 I'll try to throw everything I think in various steps here, I don't know if it will make sense but it's the best I can offer. Then we will put a stone to rest on this subject, okay?

1. It's not true that the rwrb fandom is not supportive of the boys' projects and work and would like them to simply remain attached to the film their whole lives. It's a somewhat immature thought and you know very well that it's not like that. I use both this social and twitter a lot and I see how much hype and support there is for Mary & George from the people who madly love rwrb and have been talking about it for months. Everyone is so enthusiastic and excited about what Nick is doing. But we are also all human beings and I see absolutely no lack of respect in dreaming and wishing that the boys, despite their work, talk about a film that none of us were able to experience with promos, premieres, red carpets and everything else and exactly for that there is so much desire for it because we haven't heard much about it from them, not as it should have been at least.

Dreaming of hearing about a film that meant so much to so many people cannot be a sin or a shame. The feeling is so strong for many precisely because there wasn't everything that was supposed to be there for that film and it doesn't mean, I repeat, that Mary & George isn't respected or that Nick is expected to only talk about rwrb while doing promo for that project. Really no one thinks such a thing, no one is so delusional or disrespectful. Don't worry. But let people still be excited about rwrb, they don't do anything bad, they don't hurt anyone, Nick will carry on with his job anyway and nothing will change for you and him.

2. the podcast: I reiterate that context matters. I can understand if for some it may have seemed like a cold and detached response at first glance, especially if they only read quotes from the audio and didn't have a realistic idea of ​​the interview. It's ok if you felt sad for a second, don't feel guilty about it if you didn't react badly against nick.

But let's definitely clarify what is said in the podcast: The interviewer talks to Nick about the impact of rwrb as fame and success after the film, he replies that the thing he is most interested in is how it opened doors for him to other opportunities job and the possibility of working on the projects that he really wants to do.

He meant that: more than fame he is happy that a film like that gave him this great chance to now do what he wants like an actor which is exactly what all actors want in their career.

He never said that that was the only thing that mattered to him and that was the only reason he made that film. He never said it.

Taylor also had a great chance with rwrb and we say it constantly, it opened so many doors for him, he will get new projects because of that movie, we see him now doing things he loves because of the success of that movie and he would say the same thing too.

In the podcast the question was specific and he answered specifically. For the rest we know how much Nick loves Henry. We have interviews where he talks about him and the film and Taylor with his heart on his sleeve. We have Matthew saying he protected Henry and knew him better than anyone. Better than him and Casey. We have Nick who in his first post after months says how hard it was not to talk about Henry. We have Nick who during the strike liked all the possible fancams on Henry because it was the only way he had to show that he was there with us. And many other things so it's absurd to think now that this has changed because it hasn't. We will have more interviews in the next few days where it seems clearly they will also talk about rwrb and we will hear more from him there.

One thing you constantly forget about is how different Nick and Taylor are in the way they approach things. Nick is more introverted, we'll probably never see him jumping and dancing while talking about rwrb like T does, but that doesn't mean he cares any less or doesn't have the desire to talk about it. Even during interviews for M&G he is always quite nervous and even embarrassed despite the fact that he is talking about the project he is promoting and of which he is very proud.

3. the sequel: I no longer have the strength to deal with this honestly, it's clear that until they give you the announcement you will never believe anything and it's easier to be negative than to put all the pieces together over these months and understand that you just have to be patient. Nobody today would do these constant teases about the sequel if there really wasn't the possibility or one of the lead actors wasn't interested. Taylor wouldn't keep saying he hopes for a sequel and it would be great to do so if he knew Nick wasn't on board or that his co-star hated that project. I swear to you, he's not that desperate, trust me.

The cast of rwrb is very close, all of them, even with nick and you see it constantly and there's really nothing more to say about this.

4. the haters: Those solo nick stans didn't need another reason to throw taylor and rwrb under the bus yet they found another excuse because people are stupid. The fact that they think he can actually say something like that about that movie with that intention and be happy about it shows how much they don't understand shit about who they follow. That there are also strange accounts solo taylor stan who always have to complain about something is equally true and they should all be collectively ignored and left alone because the reactions do more damage than the actual controversies.

I have nothing else to say and I don't think I will say anything else, thank you for getting this far and I apologize for the delirium. peace and love ❤️

[bteezxyewriter12]

Just The Way You Are/ 10

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 3.1k

Includes- Nudity teasing, office sex, wall sex, fingering, oral, pussy eating, cum swallowing, riding, desk sex from behind, choking, squirting, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @aichanvlog @vemarkciraptor @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @hijirikaww

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝 ATEEZ Masterlist 📝 Seonghwa Masterlist

Two months later

Seonghwa POV

"Love you Hwa", she texts as I walk to the classroom

First day of classes for the fall semester

She already had all her classes earlier today but I have an 4:30 pm class to teach today

"Love you jagi. I'll see you after my class", I text back

She sends a smile face blowing a kiss and I smile so hard, like a total dork

But that's just how she makes me

All smiles

These past three months have been amazing

I'm so glad I went to Joong's show and told her how I felt that night

Everything worked out perfectly and I got the girl of my dreams

Putting my phone in my pocket, I open the door to the classroom and walk in

"Hello everyone", I say as I get to the desk and put my bag down, "I'm professor Park"

Glancing up at the students, I'm startled to see Joanne sitting at a desk that's right in front of mine

She just sits with her face in her hands smiling at me

What is she doing here?

She's not on the list of students I have

Unless she just registered and she hasn't been put on it yet

But she's my girlfriend, can she be in my class?

No she can't

I don't think it's allowed

I remember another professor in the department had a student as a girlfriend and he told a bunch of us that as long as she didn't sign up for his class it was ok

Would I have to break up with her? Or keep it a secret?

I raise my eyebrow at her and she only smirks

What is she smirking at?

Movements under the desk she's sitting at catches my attention and I swallow hard seeing her cross her legs, her thigh exposed from the mini skirt she's wearing

The plaid mini skirt she wears when we play exactly what we are in this situation- professor and student

Images of her riding me in the skirt and bending her over the bed, fucking her hard bombard my mind

Push it out, I tell myself

Shoving the images out of my head, I focus on the class

Getting the syllabus out, I walk to the beginning of each row, handing them out

"This is the syllabus for the class", I say, trying not to stammer

Since she's in the front, I give her a stack and she smiles, saying softly, "Thank you Mr. Park"

A shiver runs down my spine hearing her low voice

All that hits my memory is her bouncing on me, saying, "Like that Mr. Park? You're big cock feels so good"

Stop

Going behind the teacher desk, I sit and start going over the syllabus with the class

"We'll spend one to three weeks on each book, depending on the page size", I say, trying and failing to keep my eye off her

This is ridiculous

She's my girlfriend, I talk to her all the time, there's no reason why I should be nervous

"There are no tests, just papers"

I glance back at her, her moving legs catching my attention

She opens them and I hold back a gasp seeing her pretty pussy out on display

'She has no panties on!', my brain screams

I have to focus

I look back at the syllabus, starting to go over the books then planning to go over the weeks and what is due when

"The first book is...uh...ahh", I trail off as my eyes move back to her sweet cunt

I just want to kneel down and eat her pussy, taste her cum

God I'm horny and so hard

I definitely can't stand up from this desk

"Mr. Park?", someone calls and I snap out of it

"I'm sorry. I feel a headache coming on", I lie, "Let's go over this syllabus quickly alright"

I take a breath, hoping I can get through this class without stumbling like a fucking idiot

--------------------------

"You were so hot Hwannie", she says, sitting across from me

After the disastrous class, she and I went to my office so I can grab a few things before we leave

"I loved seeing you teach. It makes me glad I'm gonna sign up for your class"

I stop shoving my laptop in my bag

What did she just say?

She's not...my class isn't one she needs to take....right?

I mean she took all her required and elective classes right?

"Wait, you're not really signing up for my class are you?", I ask worriedly

"Why? You don't want me in your class?", she pouts

"Of course I do jagi but if you're my student then I can't date you. I don't want to be apart while you're in my class", I panic, "I uh...maybe we could hide it? Or I could talk to my boss...."

I trail off when she starts laughing

"Am I missing something?", I ask, a little annoyed

"I was kidding baby", she answers, taking my hand, "I know you wouldn't be able to be with me if I was in your class. And I'm not willing to give you up even for your class"

I blink in confusion

So she's not in my class

"But why were you there today?", I ask

She shrugs, "My classes ended for today, I knew you had one left and I wanted to wait for you since we're supposed to go on a date after. I just wanted to see you teach, baby"

"So you came to hang out?"

She nods, "Just for today"

Ok, she's not in my class

But she did distract me today

I know I sounded like an idiot because all I could look at was her pretty pussy

Standing up, I walk to my door, breathing out

In relief that she's not my student and in frustration that I looked like a total idiot in front of my real students

"Hwa?", she asks, concern in her voice, "Are you ok?"

I don't answer, just keep breathing for a second

"Hwa!", she exclaims, getting and grabbing my arm, "What's wrong? Are you mad? I'm sorry! I didn't want to make you mad"

She didn't make me mad

Just annoyed but she needs to know not to do that again

Grabbing her arm, I push her against the wall

"You were such a bad girl", I growl, "Coming to my class and showing off that pussy"

I grab her skirt and pull it down, exposing her cunt

"This is my pussy", I tell her, rubbing her clit fast

She moans, sliding down the wall a little

"Anyone could have looked and seen my pussy"

I shove her legs open, sliding my fingers inside her, feeling her clench on them

I move them in and out making sure I hit her spot over and over

"I don't want anyone seeing my cunt. No one but me can look at those pretty swollen lips, my throbbing clit, my tiny hole. No one"

Kneeling down, I suck her clit in my mouth, tugging and playing hard, while she moans, her hands sliding in my hair, holding on

I keep moving my fingers, sucking on her throbbing clit like I'm never going to have it again

I will but I love going hard on her

Her pussy is throbbing so hard, ready to cum already

Pressing on her spot, she cries my name, coming

I pull my fingers out and shove my tongue inside her coming pussy, her cream all over my mouth

I swallow greedily, licking my pretty cunt clean

Standing up, I undo my pants, pulling everything down

Picking her up, I hold her against the wall, burying my cock inside her, her cunt opening wide for me

"Seonghwa. Fuck", she moans

"Be quiet", I snap, her eyes widening at me

Pulling out, I slam back in, impaling her on my dick hard

She shivers against me, her arms tightening around my neck

"This is my pussy", I tell her, fucking her slow but hard

And deep

So deep and her cunt keeps gripping me hard, pulsing hard, pulling me back in

"No one but me sees this cunt"

Her throbbing cunt takes me back in, pleasure rolling through me

"I'm the only one who eats this cunt. The only one who fucks this cunt. The only one who makes this cunt cum"

Thrusting into her again, she orgasms hard, shaking against the wall, her pussy creaming my cock so much

"Hwa", she whimpers softly

I have to close my eyes for a second from the massive pleasure I'm feeling

God her orgasms are the fucking best

I force myself to keep moving, plunging into her perfect wet cunt, the squelching noises so loud and so fucking pretty

"Look at me", I growl

Her eyes open, gaze right on me

"This pussy cums in my mouth. Around my fingers", I demand, her eyes widening, "This pussy creams my cock. Only mine. Understand?"

She nods, "Yes Hwa"

"You keep your panties on until I take them off. Understand?"

"Yes Hwa"

"Good baby"

Pull her off the wall, I carry her to my desk, sitting on my chair

"Now be a good girl and ride my cock"

"Yes Hwa", she whimpers, quickly bouncing desperately on my dick like she's never going to fuck me again

"Fuck that's it baby. Fuck your pussy baby", I groan, bliss running through me as I grip her thighs hard, "Lemme see you cream my cock jagi"

Moving my eyes down, my cock is completely covered, more and more gushing out of her with every move

It's driving me insane

"Fuck, such a pretty mess baby", I praise her, spreading her lips apart so I can see her hole take my cock

I watch it stretch wide open for me and that sight will never get old

She clenches me tightly, spasming fast around my dick as she fucks her spot on my head

"Gonna cum baby?"

"Yes Hwa", she moans

"Good baby. Give it to me"

Pressing my thumb to her clit, I rub fast to give her the extra push she needs

"Hwa!", she cries, getting louder

"Shh baby. We're in an office. There's other people around", I scold

"I can't...Hwa...feels too...ggg...oh fu--"

I move my hand over her mouth as she climaxes, her shouts muffled in my palm

She grabs my wrist hard, body shaking

Intense pleasure fucking rolls through me until she finishes

But I'm not done with her yet

Pulling her off me, I spin her around and push her down on the desk

Getting behind her, I plunge deep in her cunt, fucking her hard and fast right away

"Seonghwa, fuck"

"You have to be quiet", I growl, spreading her legs wider, angling her hips so I can easily fuck her as hard as I can

Her cunt is so tight around me, gripping my cock in a vice grip and pumping around my dick so beautifully

So pleasurably

"God this cunt is fucking amazing", I moan, the slapping of our skin a pornographic soundtrack I could listen to all fucking day

"Hwa!", she moans so desperately and it's so loud I'm worried someone is gonna come in

No matter how much I shush her, she doesn't change the volume

"Fuck!", I snap, moving my hand around her neck to pull her up when her cunt squeezes me so hard

Does she...like that?

Moving my hand away, I continue to thrust in a few times

Then I put my hand back and yeah she tightens around my dick so much that it's noticeable

Fuck she likes choking?

I've never done it before but I can see it being something I like

Never know until I try

Impaling her on my cock, she starts to get loud again

"If you don't be quiet I'm gonna choke you until you are"

Her pussy drenches me as she holds me hard

"Oh do you like that?", I tease her, "Wanna be choked?"

"Yes. Please Hwa. Fuck"

God her begging is such a turn on

I think I may just like this

"We'll see", I tell her, keeping my hand around her neck as I fuck her brains out

Squeezing my hand a little, her cunt throbs faster

"Oh god. Yes fuck", I moan in bliss as I hit her spot repeatedly

"Seonghwa!", she groans getting louder

Moving my hand, I choke her, her sounds cutting off

Her hands grip my desk so hard, her body shuddering as her pussy squirts all over my cock

Pushing through the pulsing tight vice grip her cunt has on my cock throws me into an ecstasy ridden orgasm

Burying my face in her shoulder, I bite my lip to keep quiet as I fill her with cum

My god it feels fucking amazing

When I get my senses back, I let go of her neck, pulling out and immediately turning her to me to check on her

I didn't mean to hold on to her neck so tightly

"Jagi? Are you ok?", I ask, pushing her hair out of her face, her eyes closed, "Baby please answer me"

Her eyes open slowly as she nods, "I'm ok"

I move her hair behind her shoulder checking her neck

"Fuck", I gasp at the darkening fingerprints on her skin

My fingerprints

Shit

"Jagi-", I choke, so scared that I seriously hurt her

"What? Baby what's wrong?", she asks

"There...there's fingerprints....here", I tell her, gently touching the spots

She reaches up, taking my hand and kissing the back of it

"It's ok Hwa. It's just little bruises. It's fine. You didn't hurt me. I liked it"

"But-"

"Shh baby", she says, cupping my face, "I promise I'm ok. I'm not breakable ok? Don't worry so much"

Even though I still feel guilty, I nod

She presses her lips to mine, kissing me softly

Wrapping my arms around her, I hold her to me, kissing her back

"I love you Hwa", she whispers

"I love you Jo", I tell her

She smiles brightly, then kisses my cheek, "Ready for our date?"

I chuckle, nodding, "Yeah baby. Lemme get my pants up and you need to get your skirt on"

"Yeah true", she giggles

She goes to her bag and pulls out panties, getting them on while I pull my pants up

"You had those in your bag?"

"Duh Hwannie. I'm not walking around all day with no panties"

Huh, I didn't even think of that

She was in classes all day, of course she should of had underwear on

I should hope she would

Once we fix ourselves and get the things we need, I take her hand and we leave my office

"So where we going?", she asks

"Whenever you want baby"

We're just going to dinner, then my apartment

"Ok I'll think about it", she smiles

I know her

She's going to want to go to the same Korean restaurant we always go to

It's her favorite and I don't care where we eat as long as I'm with her

"Sure jagi. Are you sleeping over tonight?"

She nods, "Yup"

Good

Now I can ask her what I've been holding off asking

"Great. So how about after tonight, you don't leave?"

She glances at me, her eyebrow raising, "Not leave? I still have all my stuff at my apartment baby"

"You can bring it over to mine and keep it there"

She stops walking and I turn to her

"What...what does that mean Hwa?"

"It means I would like you to move in with me"

Her mouth drops open, her eyes widening

"Joong is moving out. He's serious about Hyeon and he's moving in with her. He even told me he's looking at rings to propose to her"

Her eyebrow raises, "That's great but he never told me he was moving out"

"I asked him not to so I could ask you to move in", I answer

"Oh", she says

I move closer to her, looking down at her gorgeous face, "I don't know if you realize it Jo but I'm serious about you. I love you more than anything. And I want to live with you. I want to fall asleep with you every night and I want to wake up to you every morning knowing that you don't have to go back to your apartment because my bed is your bed. My room is your room. My apartment is your apartment. My everything is yours"

I hope I'm not coming on too strong but I really want this

I never thought I'd find my girl that's just for me and now that I have her, I never want to let her go

"Ok well when am I moving in?"

I blink, my brain trying to understand what she's saying

And when it does I'm overjoyed

"As soon as you want jagi. Joong is moving out this weekend"

"Then I'm moving in this weekend"

I smile widely, nodding, "Ok jagi. I'll help you pack"

She nods, throwing her arms around my neck, "Yay Hwannie!"

I hug her tightly, so happy she said yes

"Yay baby", I answer, kissing the top of her head

"I'm so excited. I get to live with my Hwannie"

"I get to live with my jagi", I chuckle

She lifts her head, moving on her toes and I know she wants a kiss

And I'll always give her as many kisses as she wants

My lips meet hers and I melt into her

I know we're kissing in the middle of the campus but I don't care

She's mine and I'm not going to hide her just because I work here

After the kiss, we hold hands again as we walk towards the parking lot

Suddenly she stops, tugging my arm

Stopping, I turn to her, wondering if everything is alright

"Are you planning on proposing to me too?", she asks

I burst out laugh, "Eventually but not right now"

"Eventually?", she smiles softly

I nod

Might as well be truthful

"Yeah jagi. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I'm not going to tell you when I'm going to propose because I want it to be a surprise but eventually I will"

"Well thank god"

"Oh yeah?", I smile

She nods, "I want you for the rest of my life too Hwa. But first let's move in together and get settled before we get married"

"Sounds like a plan", I agree, happy she wants to marry me too

"But even before that, let's eat because I'm hungry"

Chuckling, I say, "Ok baby. Let's go my little piggy"

"Oink oink", she says absolutely adorably

Pulling her close to me, I put my arm around her as we walk to my car

The End❤️

[googlekromer]

hold on i need to share with you all a dream i had last night. for context, i think i was really hot and sick last night (still am) and while it wasn't a fever, i don't usually have dreams that actually have a plot, when i have them it's like 10 seconds of wtf.

-*-*-*

I got to meet Schneider in his house and Till was there too (I can't really remember why we were there whether it was a birthday or just a random visit) and he was so kind and so sweet and he saw I was uncomfortable and kept offering me candy and I got to meet the schneidlings even tho i have no idea what they look like and for some reason I was messaging @wizzardclown throughout the whole thing and eventually i vibed with the schneidlings (and till for a bit) and helped them out with stuff

Towards the end of the dream Schneider praised me for being helpful (i dropped something and was vaccuming it up) and told me about how the vaccum cleaner went away into storage and we fumbled it up in true medoh/schnoodle fashion and while i was fixing it and while my family were waiting in the car (because i forgot to mention they were there too) Schneider pulled out so many sweets and started offering for me to take them home in a doggie bag kinda deal and I felt so awkward as a 19 year old and he was all like "as a thank you for being so helpful" and I tried to pull the "Schneider I'm a huge Rammstein fan it should be me thanking you" card but he was insisting and I think he almost teared up then Till came in, saw my glucose haul being created and just laughed and bantered with me and I laughed too. Then I woke up, and wrote this down immediately before i lost it.

i think it was a fever dream more than anything because i'm sick right now and usually my dreams star till/flake. i love all of them though, but it just so happens schneider's third after till.

(my top 3 are: 1. flake 2. till 3. schneider if i was forced to rank them.)

this time till was just an elusive creature in the bg. my whole family was there, mum, dad, sister and brother so was uli. i don't blame schneider for being so sweet (although there were some parts where he didn't understand me because being mumbly in any language isn't very efficient 😔 and just went 'hä' in a german way) and i don't blame till for being a silent bg character, also i can't exactly remember what i was messaging wizzard on discord lmao.

also, about the end: i think schneider felt bad that i couldn't relax and used my time to help out his children but understood it was just in my nature to prefer being alone and to do things to keep myself from exploding like a nuke when i visit people, much like tilly bär. plus i was apparently such a good impromptu babysitter he paid me in sweets, maybe next time pay me in money, or something else iykyk (frau) schnoodle ;)

10/10 for wholesomeness but i still feel weird because if i was invited to schneider's house i wouldn't go without at least 3 rammtisch/rammblr peeps on deck because i'd be so nervous 😭 and till being there while great seemed like a weird "and bumblebee!" situation my brain threw in lmaoo

oh yeah and for some reason the schneidlings were watching alphablocks and clangers — two BRITISH shows my brother watches on cbeebies. no idea :(

and there were three of them, two boys and a girl. schneider only has two boys irl. make of that what you will

[girlfriendline]

15 People 15 Questions

ty for the tag @babygirlboberrey 💛

1. are you named after anyone?

no, but i was very almost named after perdita from in 101 dalmations until my dad stepped in and said absolutely not to the pregnancy hormones. ftr my mother maintains to this day it wouldn't have been a bad name. can you imagine. perdy.

2. when was the last time you cried?

within the last week for sure. it's just such a wonderful time of the year.

3. do you have kids?

nope, and that's never going to change. i neither want kids, nor would be a good mother, and i have a hard enough time looking after myself lmao.

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

i used to competitively swim through high school (although not in the way i think that equates to in the us), and i played football (soccer) on and off. the big one was show jumping, i made it all the way up to competing internationally for gbr. i used to wake up and ride at 5am before school and then again after school which, looking back, was quite frankly insane. i took being the weird horse girl Very Seriously.

5. do you use sarcasm?

more than other people probably appreciate.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

i've honestly never considered this before this question but i think maybe clothes??? or colours of clothes? i'm not sure why either, i never remember them.

7. what’s your eye color?

blue ish

8. scary movies or happy endings?

if i'm alone, happy endings. if i'm with a bunch of people, scary movies. i'm a baby. i need emotional support.

9. any talents?

i'm very good at horses. i've never lost anything when i've been drunk. i can type much faster than i should physically be able to considering i use three fingers total. i can water ski (fairly useless tbh). i'm also very good at bringing animals home from the streets (my family would argue this is not a talent but a curse). i can sing, sort of.

10. where were you born?

uk

11. what are your hobbies?

watching hockey. suffering through f1. reading. running. hiking. swimming. playing guitar (badly). apparently lately building my own furniture. rewatching the same three tv shows over and over again. making gifs when the divine inspiration strikes. playing sims. baking.

12. do you have any pets?

four cats: a grumpy ginger and white old aged pensioner called spike (actually. maybe this is just claude giroux in cat form); loulou, who looks way too posh to have come from the streets; mishka, the love of my life my sweet angel baby darling who never does any wrong; and pasha, demon void cat who followed me home 3 months before i moved countries (and wasn't that a headache and a half) and who's probably going to send someone (me) to an early grave.

two dogs: indy, looks exactly like a fox, found her in the desert outside the rescue centre and they refused to take her in. she's my little mountain dog. and alfie, who we rescued 6 months ago, and who is best described as 'imagine there's a velociraptor in your home but the velociraptor is on fire and also your home is on fire and also you are on fire and also'. he's majority german shorthaired pointer. iykyk.

13. how tall are you?

between 5'8 and 5'9

14. favorite subject in school?

i used to love maths because it required a lot less brain power and subjective answers than everything else. in uni, my forensic science classes, or the only enjoyable thing from my first time round at uni, some fake ass course to build up credits called 'the universe as an art' which consisted of going outside to look at the stars and writing a poem about the moon.

15. dream job.

training horses. which sort of was my job that i had to give up when i moved here :)

i think a lot of people have already been tagged but @yabagofmilfs @amandaleveille @girldewar @tblueger @masonshaws @babygirlspurgeon

[blindrapture]

SATURDAY MAY 28TH, 2011 (Cipher For A Million Years)

7:10 AM MISTRESS, HOW ARE YOUUUUU? Um.. yeah, kinda.. bad time! don’twakeupdonniedon’twakeupdonniedon’twakeupdonnie "You made it to Blackpool, and in such record time! This is a nice town, isn't it? Have you been on the front yet? There's still loads of souvenirs, and no one to charge you money for them. There's even a working candy floss machine. Maybe I'll have you make me some sometime. Maybe later." It.. it is a nice town, yes! "I'm here to give you important information. There's a marketplace I want you to go to, you'll find it on your own, you'll know the place. I want you there on Tuesday, at 8 PM. I have a job for you." Oh.. okay. "See you, cutie." And she's gone. o_o That was.. particularly awkward for me, as Donnie's hugging me in her sleep. Goddamn, Jordan. You're either very lucky, or very unlucky. I have no idea anymore.

10:07 AM Had breakfast. Going for another walk. I asked the tropers about any nearby marketplaces, and there's a very prominent one nearby. Gonna check it out, see if there’s anything today.

10:45 AM The marketplace is quiet, no zombies anywhere or anything. There are countless stalls littered around, and very few are empty. …free stuff. :D

10:51 AM Ohhhh my god, CDs.

10:54 AM There was actually some good stuff there. Got Bonnjo Vjönsped’s Cipher for a Million Years (part one: Beacon and Forty Knights of Some Sort of Fluffy Texture) and some David Bowie.

10:59 AM ..huh. A poster. “MAY 31 @ 20:00 TVTROPES MEET-UP HERE” A troper meet-up. May 31st is.. I’m pretty sure that’s Tuesday. 20:00’s 8 o’ clock. Mistress was right. Shit. This is interesting.

1:12 PM Back at the house. Brought up the troper meet-up. Tropers 1 and 2 didn’t know about it. o_o

2:38 PM We're all sitting in the living room, drinking tea, eating crumpets, reading newspapers and books. Like nothing ever happened to the world. This.. pretty much is exactly why I wanted to come up here. It's about survival, but it's also about safety. Donnie's thankful to have somewhere safe, she gets it! And she's thankful she joined me on such a long journey. uwu If I can just.. deal with Mistress... then maybe this can be the new life for us? And if I can deal with her, then surely the governments and stuff can deal with the rest of it? ...Donnie's crossed her leg over mine. God, I've always wanted that.

4:40 PM During a lull in conversation about the places the tropers would have liked to have shown us if the town still worked, I asked what the others know about the rabbit holes. “They’re gateways to somewhere. Sometimes people come back from them.” That’s all they knew. I didn’t want to mention what Mistress told me, about how they caused this whole mess, how they’re growing. They’d wonder how I knew this. Donnie would, too. I can’t spill my secrets. In retrospect, I should probably be careful what I write, as well. But no one's trying to read my journals. I think people just.. assume it's The Thing I Do.

7:12 PM Blackpool's never this quiet in the summertime, it's a tourist town. Just goes to show how much a week of monsters changes. The internet’s finally gone down. I suppose that’s why there’s a troper meet-up going on here.

10:00 PM It’s hard to believe this apocalypse has been going on for over a week now. I just realized that.

10:27 PM You know what I’m in the mood for? Awake. Dream Theater. Specifically, “The Mirror.” >w>

10:28 PM DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. DUN DUN DUN. Puppies on Acid, motherfuckers.

10:45 PM Whoa, that was a loud noise.

10:46 PM THE ZOMBIES BROKE THE FRONT DOOR DOWN

10:48 PM EAT GUITAR CONTROLLERRRR

10:54 PM THEY’RE EVERYWHERE FUCK FUCK FUCK

10:55 PM They’re not even doing anything. They only attack when I do. They move when I do.

10:59 PM These zombies look really freaking creepy. Most of them don’t even look dead. Just.. high. They look brain-dead.

11:00 PM Wait, what. They’re leaving.

11:03 PM Each one is gone now; the house is completely deserted besides us living folk.

11:09 PM ..troper 2. Where’s troper 2?

11:11 PM We’ve looked all over, but he’s nowhere. I wish we knew where he was.

11:13 PM Donnie spotted him. He’s outside with the zombies. I’m gonna get him. I need something to do.

11:18 PM The zombies are all staring at me. They’re standing still, only turning to continue watching me as I go past. Troper 2 is stuck. He can’t move.

11:19 PM Fucking ropes or something, cable, something, wrapped around his leg. I’m gonna try to untie his That’s not around his leg. That’s in it. fuckmore of them in his arms torso head ZOMbies WAKING UP

11:30 PM Fuuuck goddammit. I’m in. Troper 2’s not; he vanished shortly after the zombies ‘woke up.’ I need to keep a record of this. The more we have written down, the better, right? Troper 2 was struggling, he said he couldn’t move. I checked it out and he had…. some.. things, like.. cables or something digging into various parts of his skin. Then the zombies woke up. They just all said “How do you do.” And next thing I know, they all raised their hands forward. Like.. like you expect zombies to do. They all reached for me. Fuck, that was very weird.

11:42 PM Donnie wants me in bed. Her exact words were “I want you to come to bed with me.” I don’t know if she’s just too tired to watch her words or what. I guess we’re gonna find out!

(Attached: “The difficulty of parsing a question mark in the spoken-word depends wholly on the speaker’s inflections and on context. For phrases commonly taken rendered as statements, the speaker needs to raise her or his inflection at the end of the phrase in order for a listener to infer an inquisitive nature. All of this is irritating enough without considering ambiguous or even cryptic phrases, a trait ridiculously common to we the lonely wanderers. Not normally common to Salmacis, but I guess at this point it had her hands full already. Join us next month for the episode on complex pronoun systems!”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[freebooter4ever]

Obsessed with this last series of quotes from the book with the players talking about what it felt like to play hockey at that cup-winning all-powerful kind of level:

"no matter what pressure i recieved from opponents, everything was standing still. I moved much quicker, much faster - doing a lot of things to help the team win the game. I get 29-30 faceoffs every game [....]. That's a lot of work, but i realized that i started getting better. And even the film shows that everybody else was standing still, but I was moving. It was an amazing feeling." - feder*v

This idea of the 'zone', where you're so focused on the task at hand that time goes mushy, and every action feels very intentional. That's a very intellectual, creative thing too. I've experienced it in writing, in drawing, and even in programming or conceptual mathematics proofs sometimes. And i will confess, i never thought it could be a creative part of athleticism as well. That exclusively 'jock' sort of side was so devoid of my life, i would never have considered it. I think its one of the reasons larion*v fascinates me - he kind of found it easy to straddle lines - russ*a vs the un*ted states, brain vs body. I think he was so successful at it because he didnt listen to the pressure telling him he could only be one thing.

Anyway the book defines this phenomenon as this:

"the zone - they seem to be able to anticipate a sequence of events so they're exactly where they need to be"

My way of relating to this is definitely on the arts side. For me the brute force practice is always the little doodles - the studies of anatomy and color. Usually where im focusing so much on trying to replicate something that i've turned the creative part of my brain off. The 'zone' only happens when im drawing something from imagination - the creative part definitely turned on. And everything kind of falls into place, and I'm using stuff that is stored in my memory, but am effortlessly translating it into exactly what i want to see on the page. This only happens in like 10% of my art. Probably why im such a shit artist. I imagine with professional athletes the percentage of time spent in the zone would have to be a LOT higher, especially during playoffs.

"flow - the psychology of optimal experience - a state in which people are completely absorbed in an activity, especially an activity which involves creative abilities. During this optimal experience they feel strong, alert, in effortless control, unselfconscious and at the peak of their abilities"

SIGH the dream. I do like that the book just blantaly states that hockey is creative haha :D Why HAVENT there been more ex hockey player artists, i feel like someone should get on this. Someone tell geno or sid to take a few conceptual art courses at cmu or something :P

[kryzobi-wan]

The Sound of Mandalore

Chapter 11/20: Till You Find Your Dream

Read on AO3

<;< Chapter 10

Yoda sat alone in his quarters, blinds half drawn to block out the light from the setting sun. A knock sounded at his door, and he smiled despite himself.

“Come in, Obi-Wan.”

The young Jedi stepped inside, his usual confident stride still conspicuously missing. Since he had abruptly returned to Coruscant, he had appeared shrunken, sallow. It had the entire Jedi Council worried, and that was worrying in itself. It wasn’t often that they all agreed on something.

Skywalker hadn’t had any further insight to share either, his own concern for his Master evident. He had managed to get by without so much as a reprimand for lying about his ‘meditative retreat,’ much to his surprise. Fortunately for him, Kenobi’s worrisome state took top priority.

Obi-Wan walked over to the Grand Master and knelt down, bowing his head low as if it could excuse the thoughts and feelings he had allowed to creep into his mind while he was on Mandalore. Light filtered in through the blinds, casting stripes on his shoulders and back.

“Unhappy you have been,” Master Yoda began, “Sorry, I am.”

Whatever Obi-Wan had expected him to say, it wasn’t that. Not an apology. After all, it was he who should be apologizing.

The young Master shook his head. “No, Master Yoda, I—”

He was cut off.

“Sent you back, the Mandalorians did. Why?”

Obi-Wan’s mouth opened and shut numerous times until his brain decided it was capable of forming a response. He was ashamed of what he was about to say. “They didn’t send me back, Master, I—I left.”

If this surprised the Grand Master, he didn’t show it. Instead, he seemed to make a decision, gesturing for the younger man to stand. “Great turmoil I sense in you, Master Kenobi.” He closed his eyes, feeling it in the Force. “The council of another, you need.”

Obi-Wan looked to Yoda in confusion, his brows knit together. “Who?”

Yoda’s small, knowing smile unnerved him.

“An old friend, returned from the netherworld of the Force,” he offered in explanation, “Your old Master.”

“Qui-Gon?” Obi-Wan exclaimed incredulously.

Yoda nodded. “Speak with you, he will.”

Without another word, the little Jedi began to hobble out of the room.

Obi-Wan was still blinking in confusion, staring at the back of Yoda’s wrinkled green head like he’d gone mad. “H-how?”

Yoda chuckled at that, continuing his path to the door. “In time, you will learn, young Kenobi,” he said, “In time, you will learn.”

The door shut behind him, and Obi-Wan was left standing there in bewilderment. And alone. He ran his hand over his eyes in exasperation, feeling the exhaustion that weighed him down more acutely than ever. He turned to look around, unsure of what he was supposed to be doing exactly.

That was when he saw it: From the corner of his eye, a blue glow began to grow faintly on the edge of his vision. He spun around quickly and was astonished to see the shape of his Master fade into view, smiling down at him with ease.

“Sit down, Obi-Wan,” the apparition spoke, and yes that was his voice. Yes that was his face, and his hair, and his hands.

“Master?”

Obi-Wan’s heart was in his throat, pounding wildly. How could this be possible? Surely he was imagining things. Nevertheless, as Qui-Gon gently ushered him to a seat, he followed.

“Tell me what happened, Padawan.”

It had been so long since he’d been called that. He almost forgot sometimes how young he was when he lost his Master. He had been thrust into knighthood under impossible circumstances, given a young boy to care for, to nurture, to teach. There hadn’t been enough time to process everything, even so many years later.

Now Qui-Gon sat beside him, waiting for an answer.

“I—I was afraid, Master,” Obi-Wan spoke.

“Afraid?”

Obi-Wan felt the tears of frustration pooling in his eyes and willed them away. “Yes, and I know that fear leads to the Dark Side, so I had to leave. It was my only choice.”

Qui-Gon placed a translucent blue hand over Obi-Wan’s shoulder, and he swore he could almost feel it.

“What was there to be afraid of?” he asked.

The answer brought shame. He recalled a conversation much like this on the way home from Mandalore many years ago. Funny how history had a way of repeating itself.

“I was confused. I felt—I haven’t felt like that since…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I thought I’d never have to worry about feeling that way again, Master, but then I—”

His Master was ever so patient, despite the younger man’s stammered explanation.

“I knew I couldn’t stay there, Qui-Gon. Last time, when we came back here, I could forget all about it, about—” his words trailed off, and he quickly changed course. “But I never really forgot, did I? And what kind of Jedi does that make me?”

His question hung in the air, and he wanted to beg his Master to answer it, to reveal the truth that had eluded him despite days of deep meditation.

“I don’t know, what kind of Jedi does that make you?”

Obi-Wan couldn’t answer. Of course, all he got was a cryptic response. He’d been foolish to hope for the answers to the universe from his slightly less than alive Master. Even in death, he had to find a way to drive him crazy.

“I can’t face her again, I can’t.”

Qui-Gon was silent for but a moment, a knowing look in his eye. “Satine?”

Just her name caused his heart to melt, the feeling sinking all the way to his toes. Or perhaps a better comparison would be a battle droid being crushed like a tin can. Yes, that was what his heart felt like.

He hung his head in shame.

“You’re in love with her.”

Qui-Gon knew. It wasn’t a question. He knew it when they were just kids, and he knew it now.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan confirmed with a sob. Never did he think he would make that admission, not here in the Jedi Temple, not to his old Master who was supposed to be unreachable in death. His voice shook uncontrollably, lip trembling. “And the Senator—the Senator said she was in love with me, but it just can’t be true. It can’t.”

Did he really believe that? Or was he fooling himself? His eyes squeezed shut again, eyelashes wet with the promise of tears.

“It was so long ago, but sometimes, she would look at me and I’d think—Stars, it’s hard to breathe when I’m around her.”

He seemed to be having trouble breathing now, in fact. Qui-Gon looked on his old Padawan with compassion. The poor boy was in immense pain, far worse than it had been even the first time around.

“Does she know?” the old Master asked in a soft voice.

Obi-Wan swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat, opening his eyes again to glance at Qui-Gon. “If she does, I didn’t mean for her to,” he said, shaking his head. “I tried to suppress it. I was there as a Jedi, on business for the Jedi Council. They might have granted me a seat among them if my mission had been a success.”

“They still will, if that is what you truly desire.”

Obi-Wan looked to his Master in confusion. “What?”

“You are being offered a choice, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon explained, “either you may stay here on Coruscant and be given a seat on the council, or you may return to Mandalore and be with the woman you love.”

Obi-Wan looked as if such a choice was not only impossible, but wrong. “But—but I swore an oath, Master, to follow the will of the Force! I can’t just take back my promises, to follow my selfish desires and leave everything I’ve worked for!”

Qui-Gon stood and walked to the window, surveying the familiar skyline through a crack in the blinds. “My old Padawan, sometimes the will of the Force lies beyond what can be found here at the Temple.”

Obi-Wan was deep in thought.

“You have a great capacity to love, something most Jedi, unfortunately, do not understand,” the ghost continued explaining. “And your love is not, as you say, selfish, or controlling, or possessive. You love purely, Obi-Wan, and that is what has made you such a great Jedi.”

The young Jedi shook his head. This couldn’t be right, what Qui-Gon was saying couldn’t be true.

“Search your feelings, my Padawan. The will of the Force will tell you how you are meant to spend your love.” Qui-Gon returned to face Obi-Wan, kneeling to reach his eyes. “As a Jedi, or as something else entirely.”

The old Master stood once more and sat beside his former apprentice. Closing his eyes and crossing his legs, he modeled meditation just as he had done so many times before when Obi-Wan was his young Padawan. And just like he did then, Obi-Wan followed suit, slipping into the Force as he did.

“Listen to the Force. Ask it to show you your path forward.”

Obi-Wan did as he was instructed.

Behind closed eyes, flashes of green sharpened into blades of grass, then rocks, then a mountain. A mountain he had seen before.

And a stream… he could almost feel the cool water on his feet as he crossed it, a weight on his back that he remembered to be Satine, younger then but just as beautiful. Laughter echoed in his ears as they crested the hill, revealing a splendid vista of gently rolling hills and storm clouds in the distance. A rainbow appeared arcing across the horizon, the colors brighter than he had ever seen.

And finally, his vision landed on her face, lit up in wonder and for a moment, devoid of the physical signs of stress their situation had etched on her. The Force swirled around them, and he knew now as he did then that his love for this woman would never waver.

Now, however, he allowed himself to feel the certainty, the rightness in the Force that told him this was where he was meant to be. He wasn’t ready to hear it back then, but he was now.

The presence of his Master was like a firm hand on his shoulder, and he suddenly knew what he had to do. He had to go back. Yes, he would be leaving everything he knew here on Coruscant, a galaxy at war, his troops, Anakin—yes—Anakin most of all. But he would no longer hold back the truth of how he cared for him. His old Padawan would never again doubt that his Master loved him, that he considered him to be his brother, and his very best friend. He could tell him he was proud of him, and promise to always be there for him when he needed him. Their brotherhood would not change, even with the distance between them.

Qui-Gon’s voice pulled him from his deep ruminations, offering one final piece of wisdom, knowing that Obi-Wan’s choice had been made.

“This path you are choosing will require all the love you have in your heart. Trust it, and the Force, and it will carry you all the days of your life.” A sense of peace settled over him.

And when Obi-Wan opened his eyes, his Master was gone.

-.-.-

Chapter 12 >>

[seahdalune]

dream.

my dream started at a building. it was small at first, but then it grew in a non-linear way later in the dream... (most likely because of dream shenanigans) when i was at the first floor, the building was the size of the book store at our neighborhood, with several stories. i was also with my parents. when i was at the first floor, and there were lots of movie posters (which were all The Emoji Movie??) and books..... but they were translated into Chinese in the poorest manner possible. it was like those "putting ___ through a translator 10000 times until everything sounds weird" videos. i could even see the english text under the chinese one, that showed me, a non-chinese understander, how bad the translation was. people in my dream even exclaimed how bad the translation was.... was it the sinophobic part of my brain, intruding into my dreams? at some point we went upstairs. the second floor was a large building, and also an art exhibition. the celing were tall, and a lot of people were there. at some point, my mom wanted to take a picture of me and my dad in front of an art exhibit. problem was, it took too long, and a line started to form behind my mom. i had to shout at mom to get a move on.... even though she only took two pictures. a stranger somehow ringed my phone, and told me he was grateful for.... something? i decided to interpret the mumbling to have something to do with me shouting at my mom. dad decided to go to the parking lot to get our car. me and mom took an elevator to go to a different floor and pick something up that she needed. the third floor was an empty-ish mall. not as empty as liminal space, empty like a "closing-time mall", which was exactly what it was. it was 9:30pm at this point, so mom was in a hurry to get what she wanted. i decided to wander off in the other areas of the mall, towards where the Playstation stuff were visible. if there was a Playstation, surely there were some Nintendo stuff. i didn't find that out, but i found something way cooler. there was some kind of popup store that sold Guardian of the Video Game merch, and there was merch of Publi! obviously i wanted to buy it, but i only had like 50000 won on me, so i had to pick carefully.... but i was too careful on that part, because i ended up getting a call from my dad while i was deciding if i should get a bucket hat or a key chain. he told me to come to my mom immediately, that they were looking for me, and demanded me that i explain why i didn't pick up my phone (it didn't ring for me). i got a panic attack at the store, and thought i was gonna piss my pants... oh wait, i do need to piss for real. it was 10:40am, wake up sleepy head.

i actually woke up at 9:30am, but i went right back to bed, because unless it was actually something important (like school) i usually never listen to my alarm, lul.

[autisticgymbro]

For about 10 years I have regretted the kind of friend I was to my very first crush. I was a terrible friend to her and right after our friendship died, I noticed I was in love. She obviously rejected me, fairly so.. and knowing that I had been a bad friend to someone I loved fucked me up completely.

Until then, I hadn't noticed that I was a judgemental bitch and a terrible person in general. And since all of this happened, I've started to try to be a better person.

I isolated, not because I thought people were bad or anything, but because I knew I wasn't going to be a good friend to anyone who got close to me. After I started noticing my flaws in detail, remembering exactly what I did wrong, and trying to change as much as I could, I let people approach me again.

I failed a couple of times, but I got more things right. I started to listen more, to support, to understand how hard it is when the problem is yours and not someone else's. I started to respect people's views and dreams. I started understanding that every person has a predictable set of human needs and as a bonus, a couple more personal needs that I might never relate to. I understood that most people are a part of an oppressed group and that all of them suffer from their oppression. Being brown, being a woman, being working class, being young, being disabled, and being poor are all things that affect people in intimate ways.

After I self-reflected and started respecting myself, I became a better friend.

And after fucking up a couple of times in the last 2 years, I understood what actually needed work still. I understand now that it's a matter of consistency, support, listening, and showing love.

So for 10 years, I have tried to be a better person and I'm afraid I have succeded.

I have always dreamed of this first crush since I fell in love with her. It hit me like a truck at the time and I still dream of her. Most of the things that we do and talk about are about how I should have been a better friend, and that I regret not being there for her. I spent 10 years having these dreams where we talked about our friendship. It was probably my brain trying to heal itself from the trauma and the regret, but something happened last night.

She and I were talking in the Mormon temple (I used to be Mormon) and we were there with a group of young people in the celestial room (the holiest of all places on earth according to Mormons), and instead of having the many rituals they do there, we simply talked.

Each of us talked about our insecurities. We opened up about our pasts and our fears. I was comfortable and silent because I didn't feel the need to share anything, I was calm and I was listening. Then, my crush got up, older, about 23 like me, and she talked about some insecurities about her body, about getting older too, about not being as dainty and pretty as she wanted to be. And I listened closily.

After a while, the other girls started talking to each other and I sat closer to my crush. It was very pleasant. I said that she was perfect and that she shouldn't worry about her appearance, or something of the sort.

She took that as flirting and started smiling and we had a pleasant talk. After a while, I asked her if she wanted to be my friend again, and she said she was expecting another question. And I asked "what?" and she said, "I thought you liked me before" and I was like... "oh, you want to be my girlfriend?" and she said "Yes, I thought you'd never ask".

Then we left the temple, went to a mall, and turned into puppies. But that's just how dreams roll I guess.

The point is that in 10 years of my wildest dreams with her, I never had the chance to date her. It was always dramatic, scary, full of regret. And now, I finally got the girl!

The function of the dream wasn't dating her though. It was about forgiving myself for having been a bad friend and being able to feel like I'm a good friend now. Because I am.

[sukugo]

dreamt of hayden and anakin today <3

[lilithsrecord]

𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖟𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖑

part 2

♱ 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

outward appearance means nothing if your are unable to carry yourself with grace and confidence. it’s important to radiate an aura that is unique to u and is beautiful and enchanting to others. find your essence. are u an ethereal innocent angel or a bombshell femme fatale? Just by channeling in a sort of character in your demeanour can drastically change how other people view you. you might be wondering “hey this is a bit much just for school,” and ur right but it’s all fun at the end of the day

𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

𝔣𝔢𝔪𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔞𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔢:

femme fatale: noun

an attractive and seductive woman, especially one who is likely to cause distress or disaster to a man who becomes involved with her.

"a femme fatale who plays one man off against another in pursuit of money"

a femme fatale is a women who shows power through how well she can toy with a mans brain. in hindsight she might seem like a women catered to the male gaze due to the strong enchantment she has upon men, but do not be fooled. a femme fatale is a strong willed and powerful women who only caters to her own needs. she achieves her goals by seducing her pawns to use them to her own advantage. channeling in the characteristics of a femme fatale can make one feel powerful, sexy, and oh so alluring. to become a femme fatale you must ooze with seduction. femme fatale examples include gilda, from the movie “gilda”, jane smith from “mr. and mrs. smith, and amy dunne from “gone girl”.

feel powerful when you walk from one place to another. let other people stare at you while they feel intrigued by ur allure but never completely give them what they want.

make your appearance look bold and striking. be sexy. dress to show off what other people want for themselves. wear dark and luxurious colours. let your hair be free and voluptuous. a bold lip and sharp eye makeup brings attention to the most seductive parts of your face. a femme fatale is nothing without a striking appearance

have your voice sound like smooth whiskey. speak slow to captivate others. make sure your voice comes out prominent and clear. add a slight rasp into your voice. each word u speak should be carefully chosen. people should be addicted to hearing you speak. be sassy and smart but always with class.

smell expensive. pick a scent that exudes class. examples: black orchid by tom ford. mugler alien. good girl by carolina herrera.

a femme fatale makes sure to always get her way. don’t be afraid to use ur seductive quality’s to get what u want whether that is good grades or social status. [ however do not put urself in dangerous positions. please don’t sleep with a teacher lmao ]

𝔠𝔬𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢

coquette: noun

a woman who flirts.

in my own definition a coquette to me is a girl who is delicate and radiates innocence. she is more commonly known as the girl next door or the pretty girl. people become attracted to this essence due to the childish ways of a coquette. though that sounds concerning, a coquette isn’t a women who tries to act like a child on purpose. she is just a women who is naturally sweet and innocent. they hold onto a childlike quality that the rest of us have lost and so desperately crave. the allure of the coquette is ultimately her adorableness. her demeanour is light hearted and youthful. no one feels the need to do her wrong because she is just too cute for any harm. she is an ingenue. examples of coquettes are lizzy grant, cat valentine from “victorious”, alice cullen from “twilight”, and marilyn monroe.

wear clothes that make u look cute. the coquette aesthetic has been around for quite a while. the main aspect of a coquette outfit is its innocently teasing nature. wear bright colours that compliment ur skin like a blush pink, bright reds, and pretty lilacs. make people around u appreciate ur innocent look but know that there imagination is running wild. the makeup for these looks are more natural and rely on the condition of ur actual skin. take good care of ur skin. have a set routine but remember that it’s completely okay if u have pimples! you can still be a pretty little coquette even with acne.

vanilla or any kind of sweet scents are a staple for the coquette essence. ariana grandes perfumes are perfect for making people mouths water for a sweet snack when u walk by. olympea by paco rabanne is my personal favourite.

be kind and sweet to people who deserve it. people need to see u as a sweet and innocent doll who can do no wrong. but don’t be afraid to be risky and be the complete opposite of that once in a while. the rare moments where u show ur femme fatale side will have people incredibly intrigued by you.

perfect your voice. your voice should sound pleasant like some sort of princess. make your voice sound higher but not ear screeching high. add a beautiful mix of air and softness to ur voice. a breathy voice is incredibly intoxicating and suits the coquette.

𝔭ê𝔩𝔢-𝔪ê𝔩𝔢

pêle-mêle: adverb

in a confused, rushed, or disorderly manner.

also known as the manic pixie dream girl, a pêle-mêle is the essence of a girl who is described as whimsical, eccentric and is quite literal the life of the party. though at first glance she’s all rainbows and sun shine, the shadow side of the pêle-mêle can be described as a tortured artist. her optimism is delightful. she is not afraid to take risks. she’s a mess but people can not help to be intrigued by her free spirited ways for she is a drug to people who crave adventure. examples of a pêle-mêle include ramona flowers from scott pilgrim vs the world, mia wallace from pulp fiction, harley quinn from the DC comics, and holly golighty from breakfast at tiffany’s.

don’t be afraid to take risks. risks and adventure is what the pêle-mêle lives off of. be brave. do things you are afraid to do. start small and work your way up like from riding that roller coaster your so afraid of to having a motorcycle race with your friends (trust me those are so fun!). show people just how daring you can be and immediately people will be magnetized to you.

wear clothes that are unique and you feel comfortable with. the pêle-mêle rejects conformity and the way you appear should reflect that. wear clothes that harmonize with your crazy personality. be daring and bold with your makeup. make sure you stand out from the crowd and that you do not care what people think. the alternative style perfectly suits someone who embodies this essence.

be confident. obviously this rule applies to all the essences but confidence and self love is at the core of the pêle-mêle. you need to show people that you do not care what they think of you and that at the end of the day, you are just here for a good time. the more you practice self love, the easier it will be for you to express yourself without the fear of judgement from others.

be a socialite. don’t be afraid to speak your mind to people. pêle-mêle’s are usually people persons. they love good company that they can go on adventures with. make friends by being your true self and don’t hold yourself back. even a few mishaps by saying the wrong thing from time to time can make people fall in love with your clumsy nature.

obviously there are plenty of other essences you can achieve for yourself but these are my top three favourites. to find out who exactly who you want to become try the few tips listed below!

how to find your personal essence

what kind of people captivate you? what type of personalities do you see that you wish you could be? do you find yourself being envious of the pretty girl next door, the man eater, or the mysterious persona? figure out what kind of a person do u wish to truly become and inherit their manner. find out the characteristic of ur desired essence to the littlest of detail. this can include from the way you walk, talk, eat, sleep, look, smell ext. think of this as becoming your ideal best self. take the female archetype quiz to get a better understanding of your self.

what kind of aesthetic catches your eye? do you enjoy the glamorous high fashion life or do you like the softer cherry coke and heart shaped sunglasses niche? maybe you enjoy completely different things or a blend of a few. live up to this aesthetic. do this by expressing this aesthetic in the way you dress to how u decorate your room.

what kind of environment do you feel the most comfortable in? are you someone who loves education and school? or do you love the idea of being free and living in an RV for the rest of your life? maybe you just want to live in a cozy high rise new york apartment or a huge mansion up in beverly hills. envision where you see your ideal self in 10-20 years. your ideal environment can reveal a lot about what kind of lifestyle choices you want to make.

you might be thinking to yourself hey these aren’t the best tips for school. and at an educational standpoint you’re right. but it’s important to embody your best ideal self to truly enjoy this lifetime. these are little things that can be used to motivate you. i believe that inner self work should be prioritized over your school work though both are important. make sure you are taking some time out of your week to find out more about yourself and who you want to become. be the best you.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE,BLOOD Vol.10 Sakamaki Reiji [Track 1+2]

Original title: 教会 & 自惚れないように

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 10: Sakamaki Reiji [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi

Translator’s note: So far, this CD is definitely the most...toned down of all of the MB CDs. Reiji seems to be more composed than his other brothers and while he has been imprisoned as well, he isn’t chained or drugged by the looks of it. I’m sure he won’t have an easy time the whole time through, of course.

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

TRACK 1: THE CHURCH

*DINGー DONGー ・ DINGー DONGー*

*Rustle rustle*

[00:12] “Uu...Aah...W...Where am I…!?”

He looks around.

“T-The church…!? I must be plagued by a nightmare. Why am I here…?”

You call his name.

“...!? And...you’re here as well!? You’ve been awake? Haah...To think you woke up before me, how careless of me.”

You seem confused. 

“Eh? You want to know where we are? Can you not tell by looking around? This should be a very familiar place to you.”

You make a guess.

[01:04] “Yes, exactly. The church. This is a place where the figures you humans worship are said to reside. I cannot say I hold any interest in it. That being said, what brings us here? If I recall correctly, we were both on our way home from school. On the way…Ugh...How odd. I cannot seem to remember anything past that point. ...Do you know what happened to me? Tell me the full story. Hurry.”

You shake your head. 

[01:52] “Excuse me? You do not know? Hah! You good-for-nothing. Time after time, you fail to be useful to me, only ever causing me trouble. Even if you may not be the brightest, if you do not start using your brain a little, soon, you really will be nothing but an airhead. Well, I know am merely wasting my energy by expecting anything from you. 

[02:22] ...However, this is rather unsettling. My memory is vague, but I am certain I spotted multiple human figures. While I am not sure who those people were, I have a fairly good guess.”

*Rustle*

“Still, if this is nothing but a malicious prank, I wish they would have come up with a more clever idea.”

You raise a brow. 

[02:49] “Eh? You want to know who is pulling this prank on us? ...There is no point in telling you. You would never be able to understand after all. Either way, it may be some sort of trap. Let us proceed with caution. Listen closely. You shall not move from that spot. Stay put until I give you permission to move.”

You nod. 

[03:20] “After all, a foolish human who fails to heed my command, would only be digging their own grave. Be careful. ...And I am well aware that you are the ultimate fool. I am warning you to ensure you will not bring harm upon yourself. ーー Personally, I do not care if you were to take your final breath here, but I simply do not want to bother with the clean-up afterwards. However, I must say, this is a very fitting place for a foolish human such as yourself to meet their end. Fufufu…”

TRACK 2: TO PREVENT CONCEIT

Reiji walks around the church.

*CLATTER CLATTER*

“Hm...So it is a special door after all. I doubt it will be easy to open it. I do not see myself being able to break it either.”

*CLATTER*

He continues pacing around.

[00:24] “That being said, to think they would imprison a Vampire inside a Church...What a childish prank. Even though we do not bat an eye at holy water, let alone crosses.”

*Rustle*

“If I were to be the one who set up this situation, I would have definitely included a trap somewhere. If our opponent...is somewhat slow-witted like you over there, it would be an entirely different story, of course.”

He finishes his observation.

[00:58] “As of now, I have yet to spot anything suspicious or out of place. If there is a trap to speak of…”

He turns around.

“It could be either this place itself…”

*Rustle*

“Or you, pathetically laying there on the floor.”

Reiji walks over to you.

[01:23] “Did you remain still as I told you to? ...Aah, just as I thought. Honestly, you are unbelievable. Did I not tell you that you had to stay put?”

You insist that you did so.

“So why has the hem of your skirt moved up? This shows that you moved around.”

*Rustle*

“Come on, you should not move just yet. Even if it tickles, you should not flinch. Do as I say.”

*Rustle rustle*

“Even if I were to caress your cheek like this, or kiss you…”

*Rustle*

[02:14] “I am sure it would be child’s play to lay a trap on someone as careless as yourself. I can tell. ーー By your scent, that is. ...Hah. Because it seems like the people who locked us in here are of my kind. They are Vampires. There are plenty of those who hold some sort of grudge against the Sakamaki family, so I can only assume they fall under that category. Good grief...It is rather troublesome. Our bloodline rules above the Demonic creatures. In the struggle for power and authority, there are quite a few clans who have met a horrible end at our hands. 

[03:09] I wonder why. Why do us creatures who attach very little meaning to being alive, feel the need to band together in groups to attain status and authority as a way to survive? I think it is utterly ridiculous.”

You frown.

[03:28] “Nevertheless, I am still a member of the Sakamaki household. I will not stand and watch as peace is being destroyed. Haah...Your cheeks resembles a ripened peach right now. I doubt you have noticed yourself, but did you perhaps allow someone else to have their way with your body?”

You protest.

[04:01] “You do not know, you say? I see. You might have just been able to deceive my dumb brothers, but you cannot fool my eyes.”

*Rustle rustle*

He takes in your scent.

[04:19] “Through smell and...Yes, my senses are telling me that is the case. Well, intuition aside, I doubt another Vampire would be able to withhold from sucking your blood when you are within their reach. After all, the blood pumping through your veins is as sweet as fruit juice. I am sure you would also be tempted to dig in when such a feast is laid out in front of your eyes, no?”

You hesitate. 

[04:59] “In other words, the reason you are so eagerly sought after by Vampires is all part of an instinctive reaction. So please do not assume that any of us hold any sort of personal preference towards you. Do not get ahead of yourself now.

You frown.

[05:18] “With people like you, they need a reminder every now andor then or they let things get to their head. You are quite the handful after all. I am warning you beforehand for your own sake. After all, you are not at risk of having your dreams shattered, if you simply do not dream to begin with. (1) You should be grateful to me. Either way, I have to investigate. Your body, that is. There should be a mark left behind somewhere. To make your own existence known to me.”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Literally he says that one cannot fall down, if you never go up.

[rqnvindr]

special delivery

pairing: delivery boy!albedo x gn!reader

genre: fluff, humor, pinch of suggestiveness

w.c: 1.5k

synopsis: it was getting harder and harder to resist the beautiful boy who always delivered your pizzas. especially when he notices the way you look at him, ever the observant one...

a/n: happy birthday chae !! @albehoe  i’m glad we met and i enjoy all of our talks in the server! welcome to being 19; hope you enjoy this little gift i put together for you hehe

--

the doorbell finally rings, snapping you out of mindlessly scrolling on your phone. you grab your wallet and hop off the couch, more than ready to receive your pizza order for dinner. 

you open the door and your brain immediately shuts down.

a young man, around the same age as you, stands before you and greets you with the most princely “good evening” ever. and if his voice wasn’t already enough to melt you, the red and black uniform looked like it was made just for him, complimenting his perfect skin and hair. that, along with his sparkling eyes was enough to convince you that he couldn’t possibly be real. you resist the urge to pinch yourself to check if you were dreaming.

“for (y/n), correct?” albedo, as you read on his name pin, snaps you out of your trance with his dreamy voice. it sounded even better when he said your name.

“yes.” you hand him the required amount of cash and take the box, brushing fingers ever so slightly. you offer the boy a smile, to which he nods in response.

albedo waves a gloved hand as he walks off of your porch. “have a good day.”

“thank you.” it sounded like the most appropriate choice of words at first, but you mentally curse yourself after he gets into the car and drives off.

you should’ve asked for his number, dammit. or at least told him to have a good day too.

what was supposed to be a perfect treat of an evening ended with you chastising yourself all throughout your meal. 

this was your chance. you were going to order another pizza at the end of this week and hope that albedo would be your delivery boy again. you would at least try to remember to make more conversation with him this time, before leading up to hinting that you wanted to get to know him better. 

you take a deep breath on the awaited day, when you answer the door. to your luck, it’s the exact same platinum-haired, blue-eyed mystery of a man who stole your heart within seconds.

“oh! good to see you again!” you sound a little too excited, and albedo appears perfectly unfazed. 

“good afternoon. that’ll be $10.” he holds up a packet when you hand him the fee, and you raise an eyebrow. “i also got you a free sample of our newest secret sauce. it’s not supposed to be out until next month, but i’m conducting some research for my university and wanted to get a head start on people’s opinions on the taste, the texture, if they could perhaps recognize any of the ingredients used to make it..” he clears his throat. “anyways, since you’re such a dedicated customer you’re the first on the list. let me know what you think next time.” 

“ah.” you lightly giggle at his rambling. he seemed very passionate about whatever field he was studying and determined to flesh out the best results for his research. you were the one who was nervous about keeping a conversation going when he seemed more than capable of doing so, as long as it was something he was acutely interested in. 

and most importantly: he planned on meeting you again. there would be a next time.

“may i ask what your major is?” 

“i’m a chemistry major. i was originally planning on doing biology, the study of life, but there is just as much essence of life in chemical reactions. taking two or more things to form a new substance...the embodiment of the life cycle itself.” 

you nod, feeling nearly as fascinated in his studies as he appears to be. you would love to hear more about it, perhaps sitting across from him at a cafe, dressed casually out of his work clothes...

“excuse me. i do not wish to take up too much of your time. enjoy your pizza.” 

“wait.” you call out, a fleeting sense of courage rising up, only for it to collapse once more when you catch yourself staring directly into albedo’s eyes. an endless ocean of curious orbs, their intensity making you feel seen right through, inside and out. 

“um, actually never mind. sorry, have a nice day!” albedo nods, scratching the back of his neck as he heads off. 

being unfathomably nervous and having a crush on someone farther than they appear was not a good mix.

--

you open the cabinet, ready to do some spring cleaning. your hand slips, accidentally knocking over an empty container. before you can pick it up, you notice a white packet that had been hidden underneath.

right. the sauce.

you hadn’t forgotten about it. you simply put it aside to try it out later with another food, just for a little adventure. but there was never any time to cook anything that would possibly go with an unknown condiment. 

or more like, no one to cook with.

you grab your phone and dial the number that you’ve pretty much memorized by now. you bite your lip while listening to the other line ring.

“hello, thank you for calling favonius pizza co. this is albedo, how may i help you?” 

“hi, albedo.” surely he’ll recognize your voice when he promised a next time, after all.

“oh, (y/n)? will it be the usual?” your stomach flutters from the way he perks up while saying your name. 

“no, but i’m so glad it’s you answering the phone. i actually wanted to talk to you regarding the sauce. um, do you mind maybe coming over when you get off from work and i can show you exactly what i wish to convey?”

this doesn’t feel right. asking someone you’ve only met twice over into your own house, just for the sake of your silly crush that led to silly little fantasies in your head-

“sounds good. it’s been really difficult gathering feedback from other customers, due to the lack of communication. and it also works out that i can see you in person so i don’t have to take up too much time during my shift. i’ll be there in an hour and a half or so.”

you stop gaping, realizing you have to confirm your meeting. “okay! take care and i’ll see you then!”

“bye.” with that, albedo hangs up.

you rush to set up the ingredients for your cooking, date, perhaps, with albedo. even if he didn’t think of you the same way that you did, you would always cherish him agreeing to spend time with you.

an hour passes by and he’s already promptly ringing the doorbell. you can’t help but feel your knees grow weak at the sight of him in his gray hoodie and light colored jeans, his hair uncovered without the cap. and his eyes glimmer differently, adding to the new feeling his casual attire grants the sight of albedo outside of work.

“hi! the kitchens right this way!” albedo takes off his shoes and follows you to the adjacent area, right to the counter.

“you seem to have gathered more than just the sauce. and you also didn’t order a pizza either.” he remarks placing a hand under his chin. 

“that’s because i wanted us to cook together and for you to see my reaction to it with other food. that’d add more variety to your results y’know?”

albedo continues to inspect the ingredients you had laid out for the chicken nuggets, picking up a jar of seasoning to smell it. “you’re definitely more invested in this than i expected you’d be.” he chuckles, the deep vibrations of his chest sending shivers down your spine.

“we shouldn’t have much of a problem if we’re doing this together, even though i’m not really the best at cooking. however there is one other thing i’ve realized...” albedo puts the jar down, turning to face you. he possesses the same observational look that he gave you the last time he delivered, and walks closer to you. the closing gap effectively cages you on the counter, your chests brushing against each other, making your breath hitch. 

“(y/n),” he hums. “were you really ordering pizza the last time? or were you ordering me, instead?” 

you want to reply, but any form of coherent speech dissipates in your throat. he’s so close, and normally you’d be embarrassed if someone was able to figure you out like this, yet you only found his curiosity and the way he pried into things even more attractive. especially if he had that kind of attitude towards you.

a sigh escapes your lips and you place a hand on his shoulder. “i like you albedo. and yes, i did only order pizza just because i wanted an excuse to see you. i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable, and if you don’t feel the same way feel free to leave and never speak to me again. i mean that.”

albedo remains silent for a few seconds before blinking slowly and shyly taking your hand.

“i’m not going anywhere. people who care about my work...are important to me. and i do admire your directness.” he lightly strokes your skin. 

“perhaps i should give you what you asked for in your special delivery then, hm?” albedo chuckles. you giggle while playing with his fingers. 

feeling a little bit bold, you press your lips to his digits, causing him to short circuit on the inside at your touch. 

“i shall enjoy it then.” you whisper.

[autisticandroids]

I appreciate you being Dean concerned and not Dean critical. I’m sure you’ve already answered this before but what do you genuinely like about him? A lot of his good traits get twisted in your meta (and in the show) which is really interesting! But like. What about him do you just think is neat?

Also, you don’t talk about Sam a lot but I’m rewatching season 8 and it really feels like both a continuation of preseason one -> season one (Sam has a normal life, Dean is gone -> Sam wants to return to his normal life but Dean coming back gets him back in the game) which also gives it finale vibes :(

Besides the fact that the stuff with Amelia is really boring, it all just feels ooc and like a step back for Sam. Not to go on a rant but Sam seemed to finally make peace with his life back in season 7.

The stuff with Amelia also has both the same and the exact opposite energy as the stuff with Lisa. During his time with Lisa, it was always like Dean had one foot out the door back to hunting. During his time when he goes back to hunting with Dean in season 8, it feels like Sam always has one foot out the door back to Amelia.

That and I just can’t bring myself to give a shit about Amelia (maybe because she’s boring and inconsistent, maybe because info about her is drop fed instead of presented mostly all at once like with Lisa in season 6, maybe because she’s just shoved in for something for Sam to be up to and it feels ooc to me idk)

I thought I’d like season 8 (and I do really like a lot of Cas’ stuff but he’s always my favorite anyway so that was basically gaurenteed) but a lot of the stuff just makes my brain feel like a white noise machine. I’m only on episode 10 so I’m sure it’ll get better for me once the Sam stuff gets resolved but for now it’s very.... eh.

Thoughts?

okay so, what i like about dean. hm. that's hard! i love dean, for all sorts of reasons, and i know i'll miss stuff, but: - he charms me, on a sort of pure, animal level. he's very charming, that's true within the show but it's true for the audience, or at least me, as well. he's funny, he's affectionate, he's sweet, and he tries so hard. and it makes me love him - he's compellingly tragic. like dean is a fucked up guy, he hurts both himself and everyone around him because of patterns of trauma an neurosis he can't break out of. no one wants to be a bad guy, no one wants to hurt the ones they love, least of all dean, but he can't stop doing both those things. like his self-made cage of ideology, emotional repression, and control is killing him, and it's killing everyone who doesn't get away from him, and that's sad! it's awful! no one is winning except dean's self-image. he will sacrifice everyone and everything he loves on the altar of never having to re-evaluate himself. or, i hope he won't. but he might! and that's sad! it's the perfect tragedy! - second hand deangirlism due to cas kinnie disease. men will be the first person who was ever nice to castiel and then me and castiel will love them forever about it. - he is my little puzzle box and i will solve him - straightmarried gf i liked that sam ran off and tried to escape The Life in s8, that makes sense to me. i think sam really fundamentally doesn't want to be a hunter and the only reason he gives up on trying to leave post s8 is that it is impressed upon him that he's completely trapped. he can never be free. dean will always drag him back, kicking and screaming. i actually feel like sam's equivalent to lisa isn't amelia, it's jess. i talked some about that here but like. both jess and lisa were kind of synecdoches for a false ideal of the american dream, each in their own way. they're both images of suburban perfection, and what draws the winchesters to them is the desire to fit into that image.

but comparing lisa and amelia..... like, dean promises sam that he will go try to make a normal life with lisa, and then he does, because that obligation is all he has left to cling to. like dean is nothing but a miserable little pile of duties and tasks, he doesn't know who he is without a chore (see: demon!dean's total directionlessness) and lisa is the last promise he made to his brother, so he fulfills that. she's an idea to him, not a real woman. the thing he's clinging to, in sam's absence, is not lisa, but the idea of a normative suburban lifestyle. but then the moment sam shows up and voids his own last wishes, dean is like okay bye i don't need to fulfill this obligation anymore. like he was never all that interested in lisa. he didn't love her and his relationship with her was built on obligations, normative images, and anxiety over her safety, which finally resolves itself in dean horrifically violating her by asking cas to wipe her memories.

whereas sam is with amelia because he like, meets her and they form a connection. they hit it off. and sam has a pattern of like. when he wants to get away from something, especially if dean isn't around, he jumps into bed with the nearest girl who smiles at him and then forms a super intense with her. his early season one-off love interests, ruby, and now amelia. (amelia is actually kind of the last time he does that, because after season eight he gives up trying to escape for real). but what he's clinging to there isn't an image that he's trying to fit into. it's the girl herself. like he likes amelia and he wants to be around her and he dives into like. spending time with her and building a relationship with her. and like amelia is a real woman and sam sees her as a real woman. like she's a fucked up mess and so is he and they connect. like she's a bitch and she clogs her drain with limes. also #MyGirlfriendsHusbandFightsForYourFreedom. like samelia is a little boring but i don't begrudge sam that. it's almost compelling because it's boring.

i'm actually not a huge season eight guy myself but my issue with it isn't samelia.

actually, and this is a complete tangent, can i bitch about season ten for a second? like. okay. seasons eight and nine are about sam learning that dean will never let him go. that he's trapped forever in the hunting life and trapped forever with his brother, that dean will do horrific things to him in order to keep them together. and slowly just... giving up. deciding to relinquish his dreams of getting out once and for all.

and then season ten rolls around and suddenly sam makes a hypocrite of himself? suddenly sam is the one who will go to any lengths to save dean, even against dean's own wishes? NOT believable. like sam should be like. sad and fucked up about it, but letting dean go his own way. if anything, cas should be the one trying to save dean against his will, that's way more cas' move. like there's definitely a certain level of cas -> dean :: dean -> sam that exists in the show, at least in terms of protective fixation. cas is somewhat more respectful of dean's boundaries and autonomy, but he's the one with a pattern of blowing up at dean for being self-destructive etc etc.

like, sam should have been way different in s10. i don't know exactly what i would do with him, maybe give him his own distinct plot? or maybe have demon dean last somewhat longer and make "demon dean tries to kill sam" a whole multi-episode arc, i think that would slap. and then the relationship fallout from that can be many more episodes.

like imo this happened because jeremy carver got his start in season three, when sam legitimately was trying to save dean against dean's wishes, but in s3 that made sense. like, one, the brothers were much closer then, dean wasn't quite as much of a prison guard for sam, but two, much more importantly, dean's deal was sam's fault. he blamed himself. he wasn't just trying to save dean from dying, he was trying to save dean from going to hell because of him. like girl, it made sense in mystery spot. but this is not the energy you should be bringing to the table with sam in s10. ooc!