#all my broken pieces

[oexas]

I have been thoroughly enamoured by Once Upon a Broken Heart in all its cliche glory, so here's some Evangeline and Jacks!

(reminder that patrons get access to this piece in full HD months before the public!)

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)

summary: he struggled to fall in love while you struggled to value your life the way you valued others, entire fic is inspired by one line from nandemonaiyo by macaroni empitsu

warnings: not suicidal acts but it is very selfless behaviour from the reader, reader does not exactly fear death, hoshina calls you "darling"

wc: 1500

Hoshina Soushirou struggled to fall in love, to accept that he was in love without feeling so terribly vulnerable, and you knew this. On the other hand, you struggled to value your own life the way you valued others, and he knew this. And surprisingly, or perhaps unfortunately, this combination pieced together your relationship far better than one would expect.

You were a platoon leader in the 3rd division, and you’ve been for quite a while now. You were good at what you did, bringing people together and livening up the mood when times got dark. Still, you were strong enough to not only get the job done, but also to cover for your officers when things got tough. While you enjoyed what you did, and took pride in the position you were given, you weren’t exactly fond of it anymore.

You were sick and tired of seeing your officers die, and the thought of them gone kept you up at night. Not to mention there was nothing could get rid of the guilt you felt when you had to inform their loved ones of their passing. Well, perhaps you didn’t have to inform them personally, but to you, it was the least you could do. But it hurt you so much, no matter the number of times you’ve gone through it through all these years. Even if it was inevitable considering your job, and even if it wasn’t something you had much control over, you just couldn’t get used to it— nor did you really want to. So a few years back, you had sworn that you’d protect your officers, even if it meant you’d lose your life. If risking your life was going to save theirs, there wasn’t even a need to hesitate, you’d do it every single time.

And Hoshina knew this. He knew you would and he also knew there was no stopping you at this point, because he agreed. He was the vice-captain of the 3rd division, he knew exactly how you felt and couldn’t agree more. He also knew that you took these passings to your heart. He knew the thoughts kept you up at night, and he knew just how much they broke your heart. So subconsciously, he tried not to get attached. He had locked up his feelings after a while and so he loved you a little— just a little. He was good at this too, because he naturally struggled to fall in love in the first place. He struggled to accept he was in love.

And as horrible as this sounded, you knew this and you wanted him to, because when it comes down to it, if you were to leave him behind, what you were doing would be no different. And that was the last thing you wanted to do— leave someone who loved you behind.

While this sounded like nothing more than a broken relationship, at the end of the day you were undeniably in love with him and he was as well— there was no doubting that. Although he didn't believe in being with someone while constantly on the brink of death, he still loved you and he still wished to be by your side, the same way you were absolutely in love with him. So this was just the way it was.

It was obvious whenever one of your officers passed, it was always all over your face. As soon as you walked into your shared unit, even if you put on a smile and laughed, he’d see it in your eyes right away. He’d sense it in the way you walked and the way you talked. The way you’d be a little zoned out, and sounded terribly exhausted.

Every time this happened, he made you a warm cup of tea and squeezed your cheeks as he gave you a warm kiss, and you’d realize that he caught on again. Today was one of those days again.

“It’s not your fault, darling,” he said. “You did everything you could, I know this. You know this.”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to mope around and ruin your day,” you said, and he shook his head. “I’m just a little tired of myself, for watching my coworkers who followed my lead and trusted my orders to just… die. Also, horribly ashamed to face their family— I could never apologize enough.”

“Yeah, that’s probably the hardest part,” he said.

“I know they don’t blame me, nor do they show how lost they are when they’re in front of me,” you said. “But when they’re alone, at night, they’ll start to think. It’s always harder for those left behind.”

“I won’t ever leave you behind,” he said as he kissed your forehead.

“Oh, don’t say that now,” you said. “When I’m gone you better not mope around. You're going to go find someone who won’t go dying on you any moment. You better not miss me.”

“Oh, don’t you say that. We’re not trying to jinx anything over here,” he said, flicking you on the forehead, which you quickly put your hand over. “Besides I’ll be fine. You know this.”

You did, and it made you smile. While even you thought it’d break your heart to hear the man you loved say he’d be fine without you, it was still a bit of a relief to you. This was okay.

“But really, you’d better not leave me behind,” you said.

“I would never,” he said.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

He’d be lying if he said this didn’t break his heart a little, but he did find strange comfort in it. Or he used to at the very least. He had always been this way, it had always scared him to fall in love, to find someone important to him, and become someone important to someone. So being in a relationship came with a large sense of guilt for him, because he was never able to let go of himself and love, and he feared how unfair this was. But now, he could just love you a little, and detach himself from the rest. It was easier for him to do so.

It was supposedly, exactly what he wanted.

Yet, every time there was a mission he thought about you. He thought about whether you’d do something reckless today, or whether you’d come home injured. He prayed that none of your officers would be in danger, because he knew you’d be fine alone. He wished that you’d come home that night and scold him again for staying up too late or drinking coffee at 3 in the morning. He hoped that you’d laugh if he were to crack the stupid joke he came up with just now, and you’d make him laugh in the morning over some silly mistake you'd complain about.

He hoped that you wouldn’t leave him behind.

“Oh,” he said.

“What is it, Hoshina?” Okonogi asked.

“Sorry, nothing,” he said. “I’ll stop spacing out.”

“Rather unlike you, to be,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “I fear it is.”

It truly was rather unlike him to be hopelessly in love, and to know that he was. He was hopelessly in love with you.

This just wasn’t the right time to realize, because he had a horrifying number of kaiju to deal with in front of him. Each one of them separately would not have been a problem for him, but there were just so many— not to mention they were working together. He’d be fine though, because he promised he wouldn’t leave you behind, and who was he to be breaking a promise with you?

Soon after, Okonogi had made the decision to call people over to support him, and immediately you rushed over. You knew you had your platoon to be watching over and you weren’t the closest to him, but none of that mattered. If he was gone, you’d truly be nothing, even if that wasn’t the same for him with you.

Yet, by the time you had made it he had already neutralized every last kaiju.

“Soushirou!” you yelled, rushing over to him. He was so beaten up as he lay on the ground, absolutely still, it took everything in you to not think about the worst. Until he raised his arm to give you a weak thumbs up. “You absolute asshole. You promised you wouldn’t leave me behind.”

He smiled as you reached his side.

“You’ll be okay,” you said, sounding more like you were trying to convince yourself. “The ambulance is coming.”

“You know, I was thinking,” he said, and immediately you shot him a glare as if to warn him that this better be good if he’s wasting his breath on it.

But it was.

“Darling, I’d die if you left me behind.”

[bookrat]

Got a little Sinosauropteryx available for $220

[hellosunnycore]

wano zoro my beloved

[talesofesther]

tangle me in all your broken pieces (and watch me stay) | ch 3

Loki x Reader

Series Summary: An Asgardian god has just threatened your planet and you were called in to provide a little help. What you didn't expect was to develop a strange soft spot for said god, who hid more pain behind his cold facade than you thought possible.

A/N: This story is already occupying a very special place in my heart.

Word count: 4,2k

Masterlist | Read ch 2 here

You arrived at Stark Tower a little before noon. The quinjet landed on top of the building and you were once again relieved to be stepping out of it. The ride back had somehow been even worse than the one before, as there was a heavy shadow looming in the air.

Loki had been quiet since he'd stepped back in the jet after the meeting with Odin, his eyes always downcast, fixed on his cuffed hands. You couldn't blame him—even though it felt foreign to see him so… broken, compared to the confident god you first saw being escorted to his cage a couple of days ago—you could only imagine how bare he must be feeling without his powers.

You walked out of the jet and followed Tony inside the top floor of his tower, trying to ignore the weight of a certain stare on your back. Sometimes you forgot just how much money Tony had, being here was a good reminder. Floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked all of New York allowed the sunlight to shine on the plush, velvety burgundy couches, the marble walls, the exaggerated chandelier, and the fancy built-in bar. You certainly won't mind living here, it was quite a step up from your humble apartment.

"I'll arrange for someone to go pick up your stuff from your apartment," Tony spoke, glancing at you over his shoulder, "do you want to go with or wait here?"

"I can wait here," you shrugged, "As long as they bring all my clothes, my laptop, and my cat."

Tony stopped in his tracks and waited for you to reach his side. He narrowed his eyes, "So we're having an actual cat too?"

You opened and closed your mouth, "Uh- I can't leave her alone in my apartment for so long, Tony."

The billionaire hummed halfheartedly, resuming his path toward the elevator at the far end of the room. "No scratch marks on my furniture, please."

"Me and Thor will have to hang back for now," Fury called, walking up to the built-in bar and pouring himself a drink, "I assume you have it handled from here?" He raised an eyebrow at both you and Tony.

"Yes, darling," Tony answered with a smile and pressed the button for the elevator. He whistled and gestured with a hand for Loki, "Come on, reindeer games, you're with us."

Thor let go of where he had been holding Loki by the arm, "I'll see you later, brother." Not waiting for an answer, he threw a smile your way and joined Fury, already asking about the drink in the director's hand.

Loki approached you with staggered steps, huffing out a sigh when he stopped beside you. He still had those same traces of anger lingering on his features; lips drawn into a line, eyes just a tad narrowed, shoulders tense.

The elevator arrived with a ding and you, Tony, and Loki stepped in; with Loki in the middle.

Your hands were clammy, you brushed them on your black jeans to try and chase the feeling away. You didn't know why you were so nervous, this had been your idea, after all. Maybe it was because you could feel all that tension flowing off of Loki—with him standing so close to you, his shoulder mere inches away from touching yours.

The ride down a few floors was agonizingly slow, with only the low humming of the elevator as it moved.

You cleared your throat and broke the uncomfortable silence. "Tony," you called, leaning just a tad forward so you could see him past Loki. You showed him your wrist and wiggled it, raising your eyebrows pointedly.

A deep frown etched itself into Tony's features until his eyes lit up when he understood what you meant. "Oh, right." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a thin, black bracelet with an even thinner strip of soft green light around it. "Because we are civilized," he began, turning to Loki. "I took the liberty of making you this." He raised the bracelet in front of the god, who looked wholly unimpressed.

Unceremoniously, Tony reached for one of Loki's wrists and clasped the bracelet on him. It closed comfortably yet forcefully, it wasn't coming off anytime soon. Once it was secured, he finally removed the uncomfortable handcuffs Loki was still wearing.

A grimace appeared on Loki's face, he rubbed his wrists as soon as they were free. You winced as you caught sight of the reddish skin from where the cuffs had been pressuring. He then turned the single wrist that now styled the new device, observing it closely with a small frown.

Loki chuckled; "You can't expect this little thing to keep me here."

"I can, actually," Tony explained, gesturing to Loki's bracelet, "This little thing has a tracker and if you try to leave this tower when you're not supposed to, or try to take it off, we will know pretty much immediately." His smile was proud and just a tad mocking.

A scoff went past Loki's lips. "Lovely," he mumbled.

"I would really like it if you did try to escape, by the way," Tony suggested, rather animatedly, "Gives me an excuse to test my new security system." There was a sly smirk on his lips, he shrugged, "You'd probably survive."

"Tony! Come on," you groaned, shooting him a glare.

The billionaire rolled his eyes; "I'm kidding, relax."

The elevator finally arrived at what would be your new home. A whole floor exclusively for you and Loki—it had been your request, you figured it would be more peaceful this way and you knew Tony had the means and space to make it happen. As the doors slid open the first thing you noticed was the living room, it was big, spacious, and had a massive burgundy couch with a huge TV in front of it; on one side of the living room was your own set of floor-to-ceiling windows along with the double doors that led to the balcony, on the other side was the kitchen, an open concept adjacent to the living room; further into the room were two doors, one beside the other, which you assumed were the bedrooms. Everything had a beautiful modern look and exuded luxury, the least you'd expect from something Tony built.

"Right, I'm dropping you two off here and heading down to the lab," Tony clasped his hands together, then turned to you; "Your room is the one on the right, I'll ask them to drop your things there."

You opened your mouth to speak, but Tony beat you to it; "And the cat, yes."

You stepped out of the elevator and a moment later Loki begrudgingly followed. The god didn't wait for you or spared Tony another glance before walking into the living room, taking in the place, his fingers tracing the velvet of the couch as he looked around.

"Thank you, Tony." You watched Loki for a beat longer before turning back to your friend. "Truly." You smiled softly.

A sigh escaped Tony's lips, his eyes darting to Loki, "Hope he's worth all this drama." Settling his attention back on you, he raised a finger, taking on a serious tone, "If you need anything, if he does anything, you call me, understand?"

"Yes," you reassured him, burying your hands in the pockets of your cardigan. "I will, don't worry."

With that, Tony bid you goodbye for now, and you were left alone with Loki. A soft breeze came in through the open windows, sending a shiver down your spine. Everything had happened so fast, one moment Fury was dragging you out of your apartment to help stop a god who wanted to rule over your planet, and now here you were, being roommates with said god. A quiet chuckle fell past your lips. What are the odds?

"You have a strange kind of courage."

Loki's voice rang through the quiet room, capturing your attention and urging you to turn around and face him. Once you locked eyes, you raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking that he elaborate.

"Or should I say… stupidity," A devilish smirk came to Loki's features, and he took slow and calculated steps toward you. "Locking yourself here, alone, with me." His voice grew huskier, lower. His bright eyes roamed up and down your body, until he was close enough that you could nearly feel his breath on your lips. "Oh, the things I could do to you," he whispered, the daunting tilt of his lips ever-present.

You held the silence for a moment longer, doing your best not to avoid his gaze. You knew what he was trying to do; he wanted to intimidate you, make you feel vulnerable and small. Just as he was feeling right now.

"Aren't we past the bluffing already?" You mimicked his smirk. You could tell he was caught by surprise when his eyebrows knitted together in a confused frown. A quiet laugh escaped you and you rolled your eyes. "Come on, let's go see your room." You didn't wait for an answer before walking around him and towards the two doors at the back.

You turned the door handle that led to what would be Loki's bedroom. It was pretty simple and bare, still. There was a double bed against the wall, a dresser, a desk in front of huge double windows, two bedside tables on each side of the bed with a lamp on one of them, a bookcase without any books, and another door that you assumed led to a bathroom.

"It's cozy," you mused, "Give it a little personal touch it'll soon feel like home, right?" You turned to look at Loki, who had made his way to you and was analyzing the room with narrowed eyes.

Instead of entertaining your attempt at banter, he said instead; "you don't want to challenge me, mortal."

You threw your hands in the air, "Oh my god, when did I ever challenge you?" You asked exasperatedly, losing the remains of patience you had. "Is this all you know how to do? Threaten the people who want to help you?"

"Help me?" Loki all but growled, "Because of you I'm stranded on this pathetic planet, and my magic has been taken from me." He spat the words with clenched fists, towering over you, "Don't think for one minute that I've forgotten how you've messed with my mind, just wait until I've-"

"Because of me you are not rotting in a dungeon forever," you raised your voice to match his tone, shoving a finger at his chest, "Because of me you're free from the people who fucking tortured you."

Loki blinked multiple times as soon as the words left your mouth, almost as if you'd slapped him. His lips hovered open yet he didn't speak.

You softened when you caught the flash of hurt in his eyes as the memories undoubtedly came back to the surface. You closed your eyes, breathed in, and opened them again. "Believe it or not, I actually meant it when I said I only wanted to help you."

A half-hearted scoff went past his lips and he shook his head. "And why would you ever do that? Surely not from the goodness of your heart." For the first time, his voice held something other than anger, you just couldn't pinpoint what it was. "What is it that you're after?"

You shrugged as a melancholic smile graced your lips. It was rather sad that Loki couldn't fathom the thought of help coming without a price. "I don't know, maybe I'm just that stupid, right?" You stepped out of his bedroom, holding the door handle, "I'll be outside if you need me." With that you closed the door, leaving Loki alone in his room.

For several moments he simply stood there, eyes fixed on the plain wood of the door. Then a shaky breath went past his lips, and his shoulders sagged; all anger washed away, leaving room only for sorrow. Slowly, reality finally started to down on him. Loki turned around in the spot, gaze roaming over his new chambers. From out the window, he could see the never-sleeping city of New York, the world he once wished to take over; it felt like so long ago already, a far-fetched attempt at filling the gaping hole left in his chest from empty promises.

A sharp sting of pain suddenly pierced his back, going down his spine as he stretched. He winced, rubbing the sore spot. Telltales of his captor, the one you'd freed his mind from.

You. Why would you do what you did? What could you possibly gain by trying to help him?

You confused him, a mystery ever since Loki first laid eyes on you, one he was yet to uncover. The fact that you had been able to pry into his mind so easily, see glimpses of his misfortunes, made him feel uneasy. And from all the things he assumes you could've done, you chose to cut The Other's hold of him, and nothing more.

Loki would never admit to the relief it had been, almost as if plucking out an arrow that had been piercing his skin and making him bleed. He refrained from dwelling on the matter for now, especially if you'd insist that you wanted nothing from him—unlikely.

He took one step forward, and then another, and one more. And his vision grew blurry. He opened his mouth only for a choked sob to stumble out. He'd never felt this bare, this defenseless, this vulnerable.

Loki raised his hands, fingers trembling. He tried to bring all his energy to his fingertips, gritting his teeth as his tears fell past the bottom lid of his eyes and dropped to the floor beneath his feet. Nothing. Not even a single spark of green.

Loki's knees hit the floor. He brought his arms around himself. His whole life, living amongst kings and warriors, his seiðr was all he had. And now, he doesn't know who he is without it.

He wanted to blame you. He so desperately wanted to lay the blame on you for losing his powers, for his exile on earth. Alas, it was a weak attempt. A lie that would do him no good in the end.

Several minutes went by with Loki kneeling on the floor of his bedroom, fading into the background like many times before. And like many times before, he eventually picked himself back up, drying his own tears with the back of his sleeve, and taking deep breaths to calm his bruised heart.

Loki made a beeline for the bathroom, maybe a warm shower would do him some good.

─── ·❆· ───

You were sitting on the kitchen counter when Loki finally left his bedroom again. Tony had already gotten Happy to bring most of your things from your apartment, your cat included. The fluffy ball of grey fur lay beside you as your fingers mindlessly scratched behind her ears, making her purr contently.

The sound of a door closing made you look up from your cell phone. Loki approached you as if he were a stray cat seeing a human for the first time—you briefly wondered just how long it would take him to feel comfortable here. His hair was damp, falling just a little past his shoulders in shiny raven curls; he still wore the same clothes from before and you made a mental note to ask that Tony arrange more clothes for him.

"Hey," you greeted gently with a small smile, "Did you calm down?"

Loki gave you an unamused glare before averting his gaze to the windows on the other side. "No," he mumbled just for the sake of it.

"I'm ordering a bit of a late lunch," you wiggled your phone even though he wasn't looking at you, "Would you like something?"

Slowly, Loki's eyes trailed back to you. He said nothing as he momentarily held your gaze, before focusing on the cat laying beside you. A rather adorable frown came to his features then.

You noticed. "Loki, this is Rain," you introduced, gesturing to the cat. "Rain, that's Loki," then gestured to the god, "He's gonna be our new roomie."

"That's a strange name for a cat," Loki commented, taking half a step closer to you.

You simply shrugged, "It was raining pretty hard the day I found her on the street, it seemed fitting." A beat of silence passed. "You… can pet her if you want, she's friendly," you suggested timidly, pursing your lips as you looked at him.

Loki's eyes shot back to your face, his stern gaze returning. "No."

You sighed and pushed yourself off the counter, much to Rain's dismay, "Okay, listen, whether you like it or not, this is gonna be your life for the foreseeable future, yeah?" You kept your voice as gentle as you could, "So can we try not to make each day feel more miserable than the last? I mean, you have to admit that this is better than whatever dungeon they were going to throw you in." With a tentative smile, you gestured widely to the whole floor that now belonged to both of you.

Loki kept silent, his jaw set tightly in place.

At last, you admitted defeat and accepted the fact that chit-chat would not be a thing. You groaned; "Just- do you want lunch or not?"

"Of course I want lunch," Loki snapped, "I haven't eaten in nearly two days."

Immediately, your eyes went wide with shock, "You haven't-" You hesitated, "What do you mean you haven't eaten in two days? Didn't they feed you back at the Helicarrier?"

It was a fraction of a second, but you thought you saw Loki's gaze softening at your concern. "Why would they bother?" He simply asked.

You gulped, trying to conceal how this made you feel. "No wonder you're so grumpy," you mumbled in an attempt to lighten the mood. "What would you like, then?"

You quickly discovered that Loki was worse at deciding what to eat than you were. For today you settled for pizza, not exactly healthy, but simple and tasty enough. When it arrived, Loki took his slices and promptly locked himself back in his room. Living with him certainly would be an experience; taking him out to connect with your world, that would be a challenge.

─── ·❆· ───

It almost felt like floating. For a moment, he was almost at peace as he fell, and fell, and fell. And then he was alone, wandering through uncharted, hostile lands. Each day was a battle just to keep breathing, to keep walking. His body was weak and giving up on him when he was found, and then, his voice started fading with each of the screams that no one cared to listen to. His skin burned, ripped open, and healed. Only to go through it again, and again. Until all fight was snuffed out of him.

"You will long for something as sweet as pain."

Loki woke up with a start, sitting up on his bed so quickly that a thousand stars danced in his vision. His breathing came out in desperate huffs of air, making his lungs sting and not nearly enough to calm his thundering heart.

He looked around frantically, feeling his lower lip wobble and his cheeks dampening when he didn't recognize his surroundings immediately. Clutching the sheets to ground himself, Loki closed his eyes and did the breathing exercise he taught himself. Slowly, the fog cleared, yet only a little. And when he opened his eyes again, he remembered why he was in this bedroom.

With a long sigh going past his lips, Loki buried his head in his hands, nails clawing at the root of his hair. He could feel his clothes clinging to his body because of the cold sweat.

He couldn't stay here. He needed to get out.

The floor felt cold against his bare feet, it grounded him to reality. Gulping down a lump in his throat, Loki took staggered steps to his door, reaching the handle with an unsteady hand.

They couldn't keep him here forever, they couldn't expect a damn fancy bracelet to keep him from leaving. He'd break it, cut it off if he had to.

The walls around him were suffocating, closing in on him as he stumbled into the living room. It was so dark, nothing but a void of pitch black with even darker shadows shaping the outlines of the furniture around him. Who was to say no harm would reach him here?

A pathetic whimper fell past his lips, tears clouded his vision. He had to get out. He had to escape. He had to-

"Are you okay?"

Loki halted in his steps. His hand gripping tightly onto the back of the couch.

Quiet. The night suddenly became so quiet. The walls were far away now, he realized. There was a cold breeze coming in through the open doors of the balcony, and a single dim orange light coming from the kitchen beside him, chasing away the darkness. Loki could breathe again.

He took several deep breaths and felt the relief in his lungs. Slowly, he turned his gaze to the right, to where the soft light and the sweet voice came from.

You were standing in the middle of the kitchen, holding a steamy mug between both your hands and looking at him with eyes just a tad too wide. You were dressed in a purple hoodie with black sweatpants. This was the first time Loki had seen you wearing anything that wasn't black, he noted.

A small frown came to your features and you took a single step closer, "Is everything okay?" You repeated when he didn't answer you.

"Yes," Loki mumbled, pointedly avoiding your eyes. "Just needed a bit of air."

You nodded in understanding, taking a small sip of your tea. If you felt the troubles inside his mind, you didn't show it.

It was… strange, how your voice was able to pull him from the depths of his own mind. Loki forced himself not to dwell too much on it. You had successfully distracted him, that's all.

He straightened his posture, feeling a little self-conscious for being witnessed in such a state. "Don't you sleep?" He raised a brow at you, praying you wouldn't notice the rawness of his voice.

You tapped your mug. Your gaze on him was unwavering, almost as if you could see into his very soul. Loki shifted his stance; not for the first time, he felt way too bare before you.

"I could ask the same of you." You walked closer, and then past him, heading towards the balcony.

Loki followed. Thoughts of escaping long forgotten. You intrigued him.

The air outside was colder than the floor beneath his feet. From this high up in the tower, the wind was almost howling. New York looked like nothing but a sea of blinking lights.

You leaned on the railing, mug in hand as you looked down at the city. Loki approached slowly, warily, until he stood beside you.

"Sometimes, even if I don't want to, I can feel… whispers of people's feelings," you continued, voice quiet amidst the wind. "The nights are calmer," You closed your eyes, breathing in deeply, "Quieter. Sometimes I like to enjoy the silence."

For a long moment, Loki said nothing. He blinked lazily as he mulled over your words. He'd be lying if he said your abilities didn't fascinate him. And then, he remembered, and his breathing stumbled again.

He had to know.

"How-" Loki hesitated. He focused down on his hand, on the faint scars on the back of it. "How did you know?" It was nothing but a breath, as if he didn't have the guts to speak louder tonight.

You turned to him, cocking your head to the side.

Loki pursed his lips. "How did you know… My mind was…" He cursed under his breath when the words got stuck and tangled in his tongue.

"I felt it." You told him simply, your voice as soft as satin. "When they first brought you in, I- I felt this… heaviness, like something wasn't quite right…"

Loki chanced a single glance towards you, only to find your eyes already focused on him. They were shining under the moonlight, "Like it was hurting you."

You spoke as if it was a secret, one you weren't sure was yours to keep.

Loki sneered. He avoided your gaze promptly, knuckles turning white with the force he gripped onto the railings.

"You're ridiculous," the words fell past Loki's lips before he could stop them. They were all he had to protect himself. "Why would you ever go against your peers to help someone like me? When I've threatened your life and killed your kind?" Yet now, he didn't know if he was saying them to mock you, or to punish himself.

"I don't believe you're truly bad," You confessed without an ounce of doubt or anger, voice steady and gentle as the cold wind.

Loki's gaze found yours again, and he couldn't recall if anyone had ever looked at him the way that you do.

Your smile didn't hold happiness; "You have sad eyes."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Ch 4 coming soon.

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

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Loki’s taglist: @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @justaproudslytherpuff @justanotherkpopstanlol @chronicallybubbly @chaoticqueen33 @7minutes-tomidnight @uncle-eggy @oliviaewl @dd122004dd @tani725 @innebulae @mochminnie @mayemperess @alyeskathewave @buginktsworld @cremebruleequeen @wyvernthekriger @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @avengersfan25 @mischief2sarawr @yokolesbianism @athenasproverbs @h-l-vlovesvintage @princess-ofthe-pages @daisy-the-quake @talesofadragon @rainbowsocks @alexandra-001 @mary-jinx @stevenknightmarc @falconxsoldier @ladymercury8 @shirukitsune @ladymischief11 @starkzdaughter @navs-bhat @creat0r-cat @anundyingfidelity @creationcitystreet-em @or-was-it-just-a-dream @agustdpeach @agent-tempest @spidermantaylorsversion @127djarin @imthedoctorlove @lokidokieokie @cookieeecutter @anuncalledbridge @awkwardnesshabitat @nixtape-foryou @acehyacinth

[dkettchen]

it's been a year of blondes, boobs, and one piece apparently

[duu-kiwi]

grow back your sharpest teeth you know my desire

[uranium235s]

i'll show you who my sweetheart's never met

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!

[assassin-artist]

tried drawing messmer but realized i miss my wife, so time to draw ranni first<3 [WIP]

[bacchuschucklefuck]

[sen-ya]

I just finished blocking out part 3 of life after and I feel like I just ran a marathon 🥵🥵

[randomperson0k]

she would never hurt a fly!!!

please ignore the cats i didnt know what to use to censor the blood

full version is below the cut thing

hopefully the cut works

please work

[actualori]

hii do u happen to have a sona i can draw :D

drew a quick ref sheet!! i may make a cleaner one later

if ya have any questions lmk

i’m very okay with drawings of my sona my only boundary i’ve set (so far!!! this may change) is please don’t draw nsfw including it (they do not have any genitalia and is aroace)

[redactedrem]

Big massive men who can kill ppl with their bare hands but they're so traumatized and mentally disturbed that they crave soft and sweet things and don't believe they'll ever be able to have it bc they don't deserve it. Has me erect and hard and throbbing and leaking and whimpering and moaning-

[talesofesther]

tangle me in all your broken pieces (and watch me stay) | ch 2

Loki x Reader

Series Summary: An Asgardian god has just threatened your planet and you were called in to provide a little help. What you didn't expect was to develop a strange soft spot for said god, who hid more pain behind his cold facade than you thought possible.

A/N: I'm not sure if I completely like how this turned out. It feels a lot like a filler chapter, but nonetheless, a very necessary one. Next chapter will be more interesting and have more of Loki as we head into the main plot, I promise. <3

Word count: 4k

Masterlist | Read ch 1 here

"Are you out of your damn mind?" Fury screamed, he dragged you by the arm all the way into Banner's laboratory—nearly making you stumble on your own feet as you struggled to keep up with him—where Tony, Steve, Natasha, Bruce, and Thor, stood waiting.

You shook yourself off of his grasp, huffing angrily and adjusting your black cardigan over your shoulders. Everyone's eyes were on you, but they kept silent. Your chest heaved with adrenaline. With your sleeve, you brushed away the trail of blood under your nose.

"One minute you tell me you just want to talk, and wouldn't take any risks," Fury kept his tone loud, gesturing with his hands to where he'd just dragged you out of the room Loki was kept in. "And the next, I look at the cameras and what do I see? You're standing in front of him, inside the damn cage."

You gritted your teeth, breathing sharply through your nose. Your eyes were downcast, and you felt like a child being reprimanded for misbehaving.

You stole a single glance at Tony, who stood just a few steps behind Fury. He had his arms crossed over his chest, his lips hung open and he shook his head with indignance. "What the hell were you thinking? Do you have any idea of what could've happened?"

"Give me one single reason as to why I shouldn't send you home. Right. Now." Fury spoke with finality, both hands resting on his waist expectantly. He was fuming, you doubt you'd ever seen him this angry.

You knew you had been reckless, unbelievably so; in deciding to ditch the rules and simply take Loki's fate and mind into your own hands. But his pain had spoken louder then. And damn your heart, maybe it still does.

"I was right," you stated, raising your chin and quirking an eyebrow at Fury. "Loki's mind was being controlled. Not completely, but he wasn't the only one there. Something else was twisting his thoughts and pushing him into doing what he was doing." You took a step closer to him, sparing a glance at every person in the room before focusing back on Fury. "I. Fixed. It. You're welcome."

Fury scoffed, a small, slightly mocking smile coming to his lips. "Oh, you fixed it? Just snatched the bad out of him then?"

"There was an enchantment, a connection to the same person who tortured him into obedience,"

"Tortured?" You heard Thor wonder quietly.

"I reached into his mind and severed it, just like you brought me here to do." You finished.

"I brought you here to fix the people he messed up, our people. Not him," Fury argued back, again pointing a finger toward Loki's general direction in the Helicarrier.

"So is he not worth saving?" You asked quietly, tilting your head slightly sideways with furrowed brows. It was rhetorical, and he knew. You held his gaze for a while longer, daring; until you turned to look at Loki's scepter that now rested on a table near the windows; "the plague in his mind came from that," you nodded towards the weapon, "I suggest you get it as far away from us as possible, it's not worth the trouble."

"It- it makes sense," Bruce spoke up for the first time, adjusting his glasses as he took a single step forward. "Loki had used the scepter to mind control people, it's not farfetched to think he would be under the same fate." He shrugged.

You met his eyes and gave him a grateful nod, noticing the way Natasha also raised a brow in agreeance.

The tension inside the laboratory lay thick in the air, conflicting opinions charged it with electricity and gave you goosebumps. You crossed your arms over your chest to create some sense of self-reassurance. "When I freed Loki's mind, I cut his connection to the alien army he would bring to Earth. He has no means of doing it now, no location to open a portal to. It's over."

There was a beat of silence, everyone exchanged curious glances with each other. Yet you could see Bruce breathing out a sigh of relief, a smirk appearing on Tony's face as he gave you a sneaky wink, and a new look of concern crossing Thor's face.

Fury was still very much pissed at your actions, but as he glared at you, you could feel just a smidge of pride in there too.

"I'm sorry," you said, voice gentle. "I did what I felt was right."

Tony came up to you then, he laid a hand on your shoulder and squeezed. "Good job, but never do something like that again. Or you're gonna give him a heart attack," he gestured at Fury, who only told him off with a gesture of his hand.

All you did was close your eyes and nod. You couldn't know if your decision had actually been the right call or not, but what was done was done.

And when Clint and the others attacked the Helicarrier, you were able to free their minds pretty easily before too much damage was done. Clint was lightheaded and tired, but he knew enough to point agents to the location where Selvig was being held. The dust started to settle then.

─── ·❆· ───

Now that Loki's plan was no longer a threat, the scepter had already been moved to a facility on the other side of the ocean, and the Tesseract had been recovered, the only problem that remained was; what to do with Loki.

You sat at the round glass table in the Helicarrier's main control room, sunken in your chair and fumbling with the long sleeves of your cardigan while your teammates discussed Loki's fate. You tried to keep to yourself, feeling as if you had already drawn too much attention today as is.

You couldn't help but notice the different energy in the room, however; all the other agents walking about and between the rows of computers were much calmer than they had been this morning. The glow of a setting sun seeped through the huge main windows at the front with an air of tranquility.

This was your doing, at least partially. You'd always been one for helping people, but never at the expense of your own safety. Yet today you'd put that on the line, and it turned out okay. It began to feel selfish that you'd kept your abilities to yourself for so long, when maybe you could be using them for good.

The god of mischief himself had been… quiet. Strangely quiet. You kept glancing at the displayed image of him near the control panels; he still sat on that same bench inside the glass cage, slumped against the wall, and staring at nothing. It brought more questions than answers to you—for a second you panicked with the thought that you'd somehow broken his mind, but then you remembered who he was, a god. Part of you wished you could go in there again to see him. Of course, that was most definitely not an option anymore.

You still couldn't place why you cared about what would happen to him at all. You came, and you fixed people's minds. Your work here was done.

So why did you feel like it wasn't?

Thor was in the middle of an argument with Fury about how his brother was, in fact, not evil incarnate when you finally spoke up; "Why not keep him here?"

There was silence, and everyone's eyes were immediately on you again. You cursed under your breath. You should probably start thinking before you speak.

"Excuse me, I thought we'd just agreed on no more shit ideas from you," Tony pointed a finger at you as he spoke, with an eyebrow raised at your audacity.

You shrugged, "It's just a thought, okay? Loki sees humans as below him, he wanted to rule over our planet," you reasoned, "Well, make him learn his lesson here, live in our shoes, and see that he's not above us."

Tony narrowed his eyes at you, "Have you been drinking?"

You gave him the middle finger with a deadpan look.

"I must agree with the lady," Thor finally spoke again, his gaze cautiously shifting from you, to Tony, to Fury, "It was only after I was stranded here on Earth that I truly understood the purpose of being worthy."

"And how exactly do you suppose we do that?" Fury scoffed, leaning back on his chair, "Keep him on a leash, tell him to sit down, and just hope he doesn't retaliate?"

"That would be a sight," Natasha mumbled against the rim of the coffee mug she held, before taking a sip.

Thor seemed to be in deep thought for a moment, and then; "I can speak to my father, Odin, he should be able to help with keeping Earth safe from Loki's tricks."

"Am I the only one who feels a little uneasy about allowing the guy who just threatened to bring an army to our planet, to stay?" Steve looked from one end of the table to the other, gauging everyone's reactions.

"No, you are not," Fury spoke matter of factly, making sure to throw you a glare in the process.

"I for one want him as far away as possible," Clint grumbled from his place leaning against the wall.

"I don't love the idea either," Bruce joined in for the first time since you all sat down, "But she singlehandedly prevented a possible war, people," he gestured toward you, "I think it's worth considering her idea."

You sat up straighter, leaning your elbows on the table, "I can keep an eye on him myself if you let me. I'm pretty sure I would be able to feel it if he tried anything more… severe."

Everyone exchanged glances in silence, all of them holding the same apprehension.

"I shall speak with my father," Thor decided, "And if he assures me that Loki would not be a threat if he were to stay, then you can decide."

─── ·❆· ───

When Thor came back with the news that Odin would, in fact, be able to completely strip Loki of his powers for an undetermined amount of time, things were pretty straightforward from there.

Without his seiðr, Loki would be like any other human. Easy enough to contain. So with a bit of united convincing from both yourself and Thor that the best course of action would be to keep Loki here, on Earth, so he could serve his sentence living amongst the very people he wished to rule over, your teammates eventually—albeit some of them begrudgingly—relented.

Loki's progress would be tracked and monitored regularly, and he'd only be able to leave Earth once he atoned for his mistakes and the lives he took. You'd maybe even go as far as calling it a rehabilitation program—though he'd probably actually kill you if you told him that.

Fury was not exactly pleased, you could feel the tension flowing off of him when the decision was made, but he wasn't totally opposed either. The fact that he would also be keeping a close eye on Loki was a given. More than anything, he didn't like the idea of you being involved, yet you suddenly had the urge to prove to him that you could handle this, that you were capable of it.

And Tony was… a whole other story.

"No. Nope. And have I said… absolutely not?" He spoke matter-of-factly, putting on his sunglasses even though he was still inside the Helicarrier, more specifically in the kitchen.

"Think about it, Tony," you followed after him as he opened cabinet after cabinet, looking for the mugs. "Your tower is the safest building in all of New York, if there is a right place for us to keep an eye on him, while also making sure he actually goes out and sees our world, it's there." You opened the cabinet to your left and pulled out a mug, handing it to Tony.

He paused, looking from the mug, to you, and back to the mug before snatching it from your hand. "All I'm hearing is that you wanna bring a lunatic, self-absorbed diva into my home."

You held yourself back from rolling your eyes. "I told you, I'll be the one watching him, don't you trust me?"

Tony filled his mug to the brim with black coffee and then turned to you, raising his sunglasses. "You said it yourself, you're not the hero type." He stepped closer, observing you, "You once told me you wanted nothing to do with this world, with your abilities even." He paused, looking you straight in the eye, "What changed?"

Your lips hovered yet no words came out. You didn't know. He was right, this wasn't your world. Risking your life for the sake of others was not you. And yet you felt this pull on your heartstrings every time you so much as thought about all the pain you'd felt inside Loki; all the memories, the torture, and the cries for help that no one answered.

You realized that perhaps the reason why you cared about Loki's fate, was because if not you, it seems like there would be no one who would. Not even Thor, not in the way Loki needed.

A sigh went past your lips. "You don't know what I saw when I was in his mind, Tony. What happened to him, I-" You briefly avoided his eyes, shrugging halfheartedly. "He's hurting, I just want to give him a chance." Stark knew you too well, there was no point in lying.

A low groan escaped Tony and he took a generous sip of his coffee, "Damn you and your heart and those puppy eyes," he mumbled, then said more clearly; "Alright, if we're doing this, it's on you, you hear me? You're gonna be responsible for him, if he hurts someone, or worst of all, damages my tower, I'm holding you accountable."

You grimaced and nodded once, holding back a chuckle; "You make it sound like I'm adopting a feral cat."

Tony raised a finger at you, "Keep that thought, treat it like it, and you might just succeed."

─── ·❆· ───

The sun was high and bright in the sky when you landed the quinjet on an empty, grassy field where the Allfather himself would come to see Loki. You sat on one side of the jet, beside Fury; Thor and Loki sat on the other side, the latter wearing handcuffs and a muzzle; Tony was in the driver's seat.

Even though Loki couldn't speak, he glared at you the whole way. His piercing gaze made the entire trip a complete nightmare because you couldn't relax at all.

But at last, you had arrived. The back doors of the jet lowered open, allowing for the bright sunlight to seep in and make you squint until your eyes adjusted.

You walked out first, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath in as soon as your boots touched the grass. The smell of trees and the sunlight on your skin had never felt so good after being cooped up inside an airship for so long.

Your teammates followed after a moment later, Thor guiding Loki by the arm. The brothers walked ahead on the extensive field while you, Tony, and Fury hung a few steps back. No words were exchanged, the only acknowledgment given was a shared nod between Thor and Fury.

There was a sudden burst of light coming from the sky that made you flinch, and when it disappeared—leaving an intriguing burnt mark on the grass in its wake—Odin and Frigga stood before Thor and Loki. Even from a little far away, you could feel Loki's heart rate spiking immediately.

Thor finally removed Loki's muzzle, and the trickster opened and closed his mouth in relief.

"Loki…" Frigga breathed, taking half a step towards them. You felt a little bad for prying, yet you couldn't help but tune yourself to their emotions and thoughts. His mother held sympathy and worry in her gentle heart, she seemed anxious to reach out for him.

"Hello, mother," Loki spoke for the first time, his voice hoarse, "Have I made you proud?"

You clenched your fists before burying your hands in your pockets. The pain clouding Loki's heart still persisted, you wondered how he lived with it so seamlessly; on the outside, at least.

"Please, don't make this worse." Frigga pleaded to her son.

Loki tilted his head to the side; "Define 'worse'."

"Enough," Odin spoke up, his voice grave and commanding. He held his chin high, as if looking down upon Loki.

"I really don't see what all the fuss is about," Loki chuckled lightly, gesturing with his cuffed hands.

"Do you truly not feel the gravity of your crimes?" Odin shot back, his golden armor shining under the sun, "Wherever you go there is war, ruin, and death."

Loki kept a smirk on his lips, seamless. But you were able to sense the stumble in his heartbeat, the catch of air in his throat. It cut deep. Yet Loki believed the words said to him to be true, even if they hurt him.

"I came here to rule the people of Earth as a benevolent god. Just like you," Loki told him easily.

Thor sighed and shook his head, clasping his hands together in front of his body.

"We are not gods. We are born, we live, we die. Just as humans do." Odin stated.

"Give or take 5000 years," Loki shrugged halfheartedly.

Odin shook his head, "All of this because Loki desires a throne." His voice held no emotion, as if this were nothing more than an inconvenience on his day.

"It is my birthright," Loki said in the same heartbeat.

"Your birthright was to die," Odin raised his voice, it echoed until it reached the trees far away. "As a child, cast out onto a frozen rock."

You had to gulp back a sudden lump in your throat, your eyes burned. You felt Loki's pain as if it was your own, and yet, when he finally kept quiet under the weight of his father's words, you knew you weren't feeling even half of it.

Loki's actions towards Earth shouldn't be excused, no. But you already knew that this ran much deeper than simply what happened on your planet.

And while beside you Tony muffled a chuckle at the sight of Loki being chastised by the Allfather, you held back tears.

You took a moment to focus on Odin then, he was difficult to read, but you sensed disdain and indifference there. Loki was more burden than son to him.

"If I am for the axe, then for mercy's sake," Loki breathed with a half smile, "just swing it."

His words sent a chill down your spine.

A beat of silence passed, the only sounds being the distant singing of birds and a soft breeze ruffling the grass and leaves. Odin took a single step forward, still towering over Loki, who also refused to lower his head.

"Frigga is the only reason you remain alive." The words calmly fell from Odin's mouth.

Loki locked eyes with his mother and drew in a sharp breath. You had a feeling he had something to say, but didn't.

"The people of Midgard have made an offer, and you will accept, as did I."

The eyes of the god of mischief turned back to Odin when he continued talking, now glinting with new curiosity.

"You will remain here, living peacefully amongst the ones you once wished to rule over." Odin's tone left no room for argument, "You will be stripped of your powers and shall remain in exile until you have atoned for all your mistakes and crimes."

Loki scoffed and stumbled backward, his lower lip trembling and bright eyes shining with unshed tears. He argued back just as fiercely; "You cannot be serious. This is outrageous, a disgrace, I will not accept-"

"You have been given the most generous offer you could ever hope for," Odin once again raised his voice over Loki's, his patience wearing thin, "Were it up to me, you would be locked up in the dungeons of Asgard for eternity, and I will make sure that is your fate if you dare disobey my orders."

Loki's breath came out in shaky puffs, he desperately looked from Odin, to Thor, until he settled on Frigga. "Mother…" The word was nothing but a quiet plea, for what, you doubt even he knew.

The panic coursing through Loki's body was nearly sending you into a panic. You had to avoid your gaze from him for a moment to breathe, telling yourself that this was the best for him even if he didn't believe it yet.

"It is decided!" Odin exclaimed. He raised a hand towards Loki then, speaking vehemently; "I now take from you your power, your seiðr." The skies rumbled in the distance and the wind around you picked up speed. "In the name of my father and his father before!" The armor Loki still wore slowly fell from his body and clattered to the ground in broken pieces, leaving him in only black pants and a long-sleeved dark green shirt.

Silent tears cascaded down Loki's cheeks, his eyes fixed on the ground.

"You will remain here," Odin spoke with finality, "Indefinitely." And with that, he harshly turned around and walked away.

The silence that lingered then was an unbelievably heavy one. Loki refused to raise his eyes, even when Frigga walked towards him. She raised a hand and gently touched Loki's cheek, a melancholic smile painted her features. "Be well, my son," she whispered to him before turning around as well.

And with another flash of light, they were gone.

You were stunned into silence. Trying and failing to wrap your mind around what you'd just witnessed. You couldn't take your eyes off Loki's broken form, heart thundering against your chest. He looked so… small, cuffed hands shaking heavily, hair askew, and clothes so bare compared to his armor from just a moment ago.

A joyfully impressed whistle came from beside you and captured your attention. "That's one way to start the day," Tony commented with an over-exaggerated grimace, "Right, let's get moving, people. I have to be in the city in half an hour." He started towards the jet as if it was just another Thursday.

Thor looked over his shoulder to Loki, undoubtedly feeling at least part of the weight of what just happened, "Come on, brother."

Fury slowly turned away and followed Tony as well. You, however, stayed glued to the ground, heavy wind ruffling your hair.

You watched as Loki took staggered steps behind Thor, seemingly still trapped in the daze of what would be his new reality. That is, until he raised his gaze and locked eyes with you. His expression turned stone cold, colder even than how it had been when you'd gone visit him in the glass cage.

"You," Loki hissed through gritted teeth, his steps grew larger and quicker toward you with a newfound urgency, eyes burning with raw anger; "This is all your fault. If you hadn't interfered I wouldn't be-"

Loki was abruptly cut off by Thor's hand colliding with his chest and stopping him in his tracks. The god of thunder came to stand between you and his brother, eyes just as stern; "Must I remind you, brother," Thor spoke gravely, "That if you so much as consider harming anyone here, it's straight to Asgard's dungeons."

A scoff went past Loki's lips as he took a step back from Thor. They held each other's gaze for a beat, until Loki pursed his lips and shook his head. "How far have we fallen," he whispered, before walking past Thor.

Loki made sure to harshly bump into your shoulder as he walked by you and towards the waiting jet.

You stumbled in your stance but remained frozen in place. "Oh boy," you breathed, eyes wide with the realization of what you had just gotten yourself into, "This will be fun."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 3 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

You do not have permission to repost, copy, or translate my works on any platforms (even with credit), please respect.

Loki’s taglist: @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @justaproudslytherpuff @justanotherkpopstanlol @chronicallybubbly @chaoticqueen33 @7minutes-tomidnight @uncle-eggy @oliviaewl @dd122004dd @tani725 @innebulae @mochminnie @mayemperess @alyeskathewave @buginktsworld @cremebruleequeen @wyvernthekriger @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @avengersfan25 @mischief2sarawr @yokolesbianism @athenasproverbs @h-l-vlovesvintage @princess-ofthe-pages @daisy-the-quake @talesofadragon @rainbowsocks @alexandra-001

@mary-jinx @stevenknightmarc @falconxsoldier @ladymercury8 @shirukitsune @ladymischief11 @starkzdaughter @navs-bhat @creat0r-cat @cinnamonbambii @anundyingfidelity @creationcitystreet-em @or-was-it-just-a-dream @agustdpeach @agent-tempest @spidermantaylorsversion @127djarin @imthedoctorlove @lokidokieokie @cookieeecutter @anuncalledbridge @awkwardnesshabitat