#all my friends are gonna be out of town I guess LOL

[samgiddings]

having a weekend bday in august has a weird amount of problems

[pink-princess-pussy-pop]

Rafey - Rafe x Reader FLUFF

Req: I am in need of rafe fanfics so here I am requesting …. I was wondering if you could write something about rafe being really soft when it comes to reader and being completely different from his usual mean personality and just being completely whipped for her?? Hope this is alright :)

Rafe x Reader est. relationship

Warnings: Language, violence, alcohol and drug use, rafe making sexual innuendos lol

Summary: You witness Rafe's animosity towards others and notice the difference in his treatment of you.

SOFT! RAFE IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE.

Summers on The Cut were the absolute best. Parties every weekend, the beach with your friends, all the time in the world with your boyfriend, Rafe. The Kook life suited you well.

You stepped into Tannyhill, the blast of the AC immediately cooling your body down from the hellish weather of the OBX. Rafe and Sarah had come together, a once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence, to plan that weekend's party. Rose and Ward had taken Wheezie out of town for her birthday, leaving the elder Camerons alone in the big house. Sarah was in the kitchen, stirring a big cooler of some sort of beverage you guessed you would be indulging in later that night.

"Hey Y/N!" She smiled at you. "Rafe is out getting some stuff for tonight, but he should be back soon!" You nod and cross to the counter where she is.

"Alright." You look around the big room. "Do you need help with anything? Should I-"

"Could you get the ice from the freezer?" You smile.

"Got it."

Fifteen minutes later, and a few sips of Sarah's concoction later, you are giggling on the sofa.

"No way."

"No, I'm serious. After he got his wisdom teeth out, he kept asking to watch The Backyardigans. It was hysterical. Wheez got so many good videos of him." You simply couldn't contain your laughter at the thought of Rafe watching a kids' TV show.

"Yeah yeah. It's hysterical." His voice rang out from behind you and Sarah's eyes went wide as they met yours, a laugh threatening to escape from her lips. You, however, kept giggling.

"Rafey... How often do you watch The Backyardigans?" He rolled his eyes and set his hands on the back of the couch, bending down to meet your height.

"It was a one-time thing, baby." You giggled again and Rafe smiled the tiniest bit. "Geez, how much have you had to drink?" He sat up, running his hand through his hair, which you were thankful for. After you had kept stealing his gel, Rafe left his hair natural, which you were very thankful for.

Sarah started laughing again, which made you start laughing.

"Not a lot!" He rolled his eyes and turned away from the two of you, going to the kitchen to finish preparations. Sarah suddenly gasped and tapped your shoulder repeatedly. "D'ya wanna get ready with me? It will be so fun." You immediately nod.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Sarah jumps off of the couch reaching her hand out for you.

"C'mon!" You grabbed her hand and let yourself be pulled in the direction of the stairs before Rafe's voice stopped you.

"Hold on ladies. I'd like to talk to my girl before you leave me all alone." Sarah giggles again before running up the stairs. You smile and turn to Rafe, jumping a bit in shock when you see that he is already in front of you, his hand on the wall beside your head.

"Hi." You whisper.

"Hi." He whispers back. You grin at him, which makes him smile.

His unoccupied hand brushes a strand of hair away from your face before he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead.

"I bet you're gonna look beautiful tonight. Have fun with Sarah and holler if you need anything." He gives you a real Rafe smile and you return an even bigger one.

Hours later, you were riding on the buzz of Sarah's tasty drinks and some weed. You felt great, the light blue dress you chose for the night fell just below your bottom, something that Rafe had noticed the moment you had walked down the stairs.

He had been keeping an eye on you all night, how could he not with that fucking dress? You looked like you were having a good time with Sarah and the rest of your friends, smiling at you from afar.

"Yo, Rafe!" Kelce clapped him on the shoulder. "Special delivery from Barry." The mention of the drug caught Rafe's attention quickly and he grinned at Kelce.

"Where?" Kelce jerked his head behind him and began to walk away. Rafe turned his head back to where you were and decided you'd be fine on your own for a bit. He met Kelce and Topper in a spare guest-room. The white power clumped on the table made Rafe's heart pound in anticipation. The three Kooks indulged in the drug, making their noses burn and heads spin.

Rafe left the room and made his way back to the party, rounding a corner when a touron bumped into him.

"Hey man! Watch where you're going. Asswipe." The dark haired guy spat out. With the drug mixed with Rafe's temper, the guy was on the floor in an instant.

"The fuck did you just say to me?" Topper and Kelce were right behind Rafe, amused looks on their faces. The party had quieted down, eyes and ears on Rafe and the kid on the floor below him.

You pushed your way to the front of the crowd, staring with wide eyes as Rafe's body loomed over the touron.

"Dude! what the fuck?" The guy scrambled up onto his feet, pushing Rafe back with as much force as he could. "Do you wanna fight?"

Rafe's dark laugh could be heard over the music.

"Awe dude's gone and fucked up." Topper said, coaxing a laugh out of Kelce.

Rafe smirked, pushing the sleeves of his button down up to his elbows.

"Won't be much of a fight dude." Rafe's fist collided with the guys face seconds later, sending him back onto the floor. Gasps sounded throughout the room.

"Rafe!" You screamed as he bent down to deliver another blow. And another.

Rafe managed to control his anger and picked the touron up, clutching him by his shirt.

"Get the fuck out of my house." The touron wasted no time scrambling out of Tannyhill and seconds later, the party was back in full-swing, like Rafe hadn't just beaten a tourist up.

Kelce and Topper patted Rafe on the back as he inspected his hands.

"Rafe." The prior actions had sobered you up almost completely. Their heads snapped to yours and Rafe gave you another one of his rare smiles. You fought the urge to smile back. "Come with me. Let me help you." You glared at Kelce and Top as they giggled at Rafe nodding and following you out of the room like a puppy.

The cocaine had made Rafe hyperfixate on you. Your pretty face, your sparkling eyes, the slight pout of your lips while you cleaned off his bloody knuckles.

"Hi, baby." He whispered. You were standing in between his legs, with him on the counter in his bathroom.

"Hi." You didn't look at him when you replied, too focused on fixing him up and too mad to meet his gaze. That is until Rafe started giggling.

"Well isn't this a switcheroo." Your head jerked up at Rafe's odd choice of words.

"What?" He's grinning at you again and the sight makes your heart race.

"Usually I'm in between your legs." Your head drops in exasperation and you take a deep breath.

"Jesus, Rafe." You refocused back on his hand, cleaning it up before wrapping it with bandages.

"We could make that happen, if you want..." His voice is just above a whisper. You are waiting for a giggle to follow but the room is silent. You look at him and his eyes are wide and pupils blown.

"Rafe..." You take his head in your hands. "Are you high?" A sheepish look wipes across his face.

"Only a little bit." His strong arms wrap around your torso, pulling your body closer to his. His head drops to your shoulder. "Mmmm. Yof snel go." His words are muffled and you stifle a laugh?

"What?" His head pops up a little.

"You smell good."

"Thank you, Rafe." His head pulls back so his eyes can meet yours, a frown present on his handsome features.

"Stop calling me that."

"Rafe? Baby that's your name." He shakes his head.

"You haven't called me Rafey all night." He pouts and you smile.

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes, please." Even though you hate Rafe's use of drugs, you do enjoy this side of Rafe that comes out after he indulges in it.

"Aright, baby." You grab his hand to pull him off of the counter but he doesn't budge. "C'mon big guy." He shakes his head.

"Not until you say it." You set your hands on your hips as you stare at your boyfriend, Rafe Fucking Cameron, the scariest Kook of them all who just fucking broke a kids nose, is sitting on a counter in front of you, acting like a baby and begging you to call him by his nickname.

"Then I guess you're gonna have to be nice, Rafe." His eyes narrow.

"You're being mean. I'm always nice." You roll your eyes. "To you." He reaches his hands out and pulls you back to his embrace. "Please?" His eyes are like a puppies and you can't hold back your smile.

"Rafey..." Out comes another true Rafe grin which makes your heart soar.

"Say it again." His fingers brush your sides as he looks at you expectantly. Your hands reach up to push his hair back.

"Rafey." He thanks you with kisses. Your forehead, nose, cheeks, lips.

"Stop! Ew!" You are a giggling mess. You manage to push the large man away from your body, trying to catch your breath.

You look at him, standing by the door, watching you with a small smile.

"What?"

"I love you." His words go straight to your heart.

"I love you." He pulls you in for a real kiss, one that makes you melt into his arms.

The two of you leave the bathroom hand-in-hand.

"Did you call me 'big guy' ?"

"Shut up."

THIS MADE ME SMILE SO MANY TIMES!

Enjoy!

[son1c]

i had another "plot" dream last night and it was kind of insane? like, first of all, starline was in it. and, basically, in my dream, he was still alive but instead of creating surge and kit to kill sonic and tails, he had a different plan. and it was kind of... a lot LOL like it was very much giving "guy with way too much time on his hands".

what starline did was basically create this like, dollhouse of a town in a very remote part of the world (it was specifically a snowy mountain, this will be relevant later). and he altered the memories of the people living there so they didn't remember sonic as the world hero(TM), but rather Their Small Town Hero who just so happened to live there and be awesome. the vibe was very... hallmark meets horror.

cuz starline ALSO kidnapped sonic, but i guess he knew he wouldn't be able to kill him? so in order to "get him out of the way" he just used the warp topaz to make him think he lived in this mountain town and also he reallyyyyy loved snowboarding (not a difficult thing to do, since he DOES love extreme sports and going fast down a snowy cliffside already agrees with his personality).

so like, months go by and no one can fucking find sonic right. he's just dropped off the face of the earth. and his friends are starting to get worried because yeah, sonic disappears sometimes. but never for this long and never without letting at least tails know he's alright. and it's especially bad because with sonic gone, now eggman is causing trouble, and it's exactly what starline wants. he is Winning.

BUT! eventually shadow is able to track down sonic ??? somehow. i think he was able to get information from rouge via her connection to g.u.n. about the town. anyway. when shadow finds sonic, sonic has no fucking idea what he's talking about, and he's also annoyed because there's gonna be a snowboarding competition soon, and he's totally icing the vibe, man. so the only way shadow can get sonic to listen to him is if he beats him in a snowboarding competition ???

like i said it felt VERY hallmark LOL. also something was sonic was talking in a british accent for some reason ??? i think it's cuz when he lost his memory in idw, he had that strange posh accent for some reason. it was very silly. anyway

[solecize]

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision.

despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 4.6k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. n/a

part three: the letters, the saloon and the second storm  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ previous. next. masterlist

  vi. the letters

september 2nd 2008 (age 9)

dear jungkook,

  my mom said i should write you letters. i don’t really know what to say here. you better be visiting marshmallow and be nice to her while i’m gone. i miss her a lot. i guess i miss having you around since i don’t have anyone to play guitar hero with…

p.s. happy late birthday maybe i can visit and come to your party next year if my mom lets me

  from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

january 19th 2009 (age 10)

dear y/n,

  i learned how to skate for the first time. it’s too bad the ice will be gone when you’re back and we won’t get to skate together. i can’t believe we’ll be in middle school soon. are you scared? hoseok and namjoon say it’s not a big deal. also, i saw your grandpa yesterday and he showed me how to use a tapper on a maple tree. so cool!

p.s. you should ask your mom if you can visit earlier this year

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

april 23rd 2009 (age 10)

HEY JUNGKOOK,

  look inside the box, i sent you a book with this letter. i told you in my last letter that i would send you one. it’s astronomy for dummies (because you’re a dummy). you better read it before i come back to grandpa’s, okay?? you have a month and a half loser.

from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

september 30th 2009 (age 10)

hi y/n,

  jimin sprained his ankle during gym class. your grandpa told me to write that because it probably just made your day. i feel a little bit bad for him, the nurse at our school is really mean. also i know it’s a month away but i’m so excited for halloween. my dad got me this really cool goku costume. what are you gonna dress up as?

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

february 4th 2010 (age 11)

jungkook,

  i’m so tired of my parents fighting all the time. all they do is yell. i can’t wait to be back in amber valley so i don’t have to hear them all the time. i wish i had your parents, they’re so nice. also i hate my class. it’s so hard to be friends with the girls that sit next to me, they always leave me out of things. don’t you miss elementary school?

  from y/n

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

may 17th 2010 (age 11)

dear y/n,

  guess what. my dad got me a skateboard!! it’s so cool. if you’re nice to me i’ll let you borrow it. we should see who can do the coolest trick. it’ll be me of course i’m better than you at everything LOL. you better hurry and come back!

  from jungkook

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

november 25th 2010 (age 11)

hi jungkook, 

  i can’t believe i’ll only be living with my dad soon. do you think my mom doesn’t want me? honestly, i’d rather just live with grandpa all the time. then i could see marshmallow everyday all year! or maybe you can convince your mom to take me in. actually, i take that back, i could never live with you. you’re so messy. 

p.s. i got my own skateboard!! it’s cold now but i’m gonna practice and bring it with me next summer

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ    ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ***

february 18th 2011 (age 12)

y/n,

  i know you’re super sad and stuff. i’m sorry about your parents. we’re gonna have the best summer ever though and maybe you won’t think so much about it. look at the bucket list i made!

eat breakfast for dinner

watch the captain america movie

ride the big kids ride at the midsummer fair (i’m tall enough now so you better be too)

stay up all night

make ice cream

  if you have any ideas, add on! hope you’re doing okay :( 

  from jungkook

  vii. the saloon

when jungkook mentioned the saloon to you, you thought it was a joke poking at the countryside life. 

  “oh, it’s actually called a saloon. like, unironically. that’s what the text said,” you rambled into your phone, edged between your ear and shoulder, as you stood in your kitchen in front of your laptop.

  on the screen, you were assembling an excel sheet of sorts to assist your navigation through the business side of the farm. thankfully, this was exactly the field you had long worked and studied in and knowing this before taking on your new role made the transition far easier. there was hardly any product to be profiting from, as you had just arrived, and you were preparing the document before the time came to deal with vendors and other local businesses.

  “oh, honey, that place has actually been called ‘the saloon’ ever since i was a little girl,” your mom’s voice chimed in from the other end.

  since the turn of your early twenties, your phone calls to your parents were far and few between and you could hear the surprise in her tone when she initially picked up. but, your grandpa’s letter seemed to be growing truer everyday, as your surroundings made drew you to reconnect with what you thought was to be lost.

  eyebrows furrowed, you continued to scroll through your work. “mom, do you think he meant it as a date? i can’t do a date, i literally just got here!”

  “calm down. it’s that amber valley hospitality. but,” your mom paused, “you did have crushes on each other growing up.”

  “mom, no way - “

  she merely laughed. “it was so obvious! you mailed a valentine’s day card to jungkook every year. one time, he punched little jimin because he called you ‘jungkook’s ugly girlfriend.’”

  “and then he screamed that i wasn’t ugly. huh, i do remember that,” you began to think. 

  spending time reminiscing with your mom momentarily distracted you from the anxiety you felt, waiting for the evening to come. jungkook did end up texting you, asking if you were coming down to the saloon for the birthday surprise. you looked away and closed your eyes when you pressed ‘send’ on the confirmation that you would drop by.

  the idea made you nervous only because it had been so long since you went out and met new people. there was no such thing as free time in your old life and you really only maintained surface-level friendships with your coworkers in your last year of the job.  however, knowing amber valley and the tight-knit community, it was only a matter of time before you got acquainted with everyone, whether you liked it or not.

  by the time it was six, you’d forced yourself to get changed and inspected your outfit several times before leaving. the last thing you wanted to do was stand out too much. so, you put on your favourite denim jeans and a plain long sleeve top, putting away your go-to strappy stilettos for the night. 

  making your way into town was quick and soon enough, you found the pub situated in between the flower shop and the hardware store. it definitely looked like it’d been around since your mom was a little girl, the exterior siding showing age with chips here and there. 

  “hey y/n.”

  you jumped, having not paid attention to your surroundings. turning around, it was taehyung holding a box adorned in magenta polka dot wrapping. he wore a similar outfit to the one from the day before, except a different cowboy hat. you wondered if there was a store in town that specialized in selling just these hats.

  “hi taehyung. is this for jin?” you offered a smile, gesturing to the box.

  a pleased grin formed on taehyung’s face. “yup. i’m pretty sure i got him the best gift out of everyone, but don’t tell anyone.”

  he walked ahead of you and opened the door, pausing. you realized he was opening it for you and you quickly thanked him, going right in. small town hospitality. 

  it was saturday evening, but to your surprise, there were hardly any patrons in the bar. taehyung then pointed to a sign by the door, which you missed completely. it read: ‘private event, invite only.’ 

  “oh, wow, am i v.i.p?” you joked, following him to the back of the room, where a stack of presents were grouped on one table. 

  “of course! you’re jungkook’s friend, after all,” he exclaimed, setting his box down with the others. “you guys go way back, huh? how long has it been since you guys since saw each other?”

  you counted in your head. “i think twelve or thirteen years. a while.”

  “what, no facebook back in the day?” he teased.

  “no, he was never nearly fond of that. after i stopped coming for the summers, we lost contact completely.” you couldn’t recall any attempts for continued communication afterwards, other than your grandpa offering updates here and there about him. “we used to write, but i don’t know what happened. . .”

  for a while, you wondered why jungkook never wrote you again after you stopped coming to the valley. admittedly, looking back, it hurt your preteen self that he never tried. but, eventually, you moved on and left jungkook in your childhood.

  taehyung nodded slowly. “so. . .you didn’t know about what happened?”

  you already knew what he was talking about and squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “no. i felt really bad about it.”

  “it’s okay. since i moved to town, i’ve really admired jungkook. if there’s any sort of pain, he hides it really well for the sake of others,” he said, leaning on the wall.

  that sounded like the jungkook you remembered. he was always the type to put others before himself, no matter how small the issue. then, you began thinking about jiwon.

  “taehyung, can i ask you something?” you suddenly said. “jiwon. she’s only nine. and jungkook doesn’t have any other family. . .”

  the smile at the corner of taehyung’s lips was sad. “yeah. jungkook is her primary guardian and has been since he was nineteen.”

  the answer seemed to weigh a hundred pounds and you had to take a second to take it all in. there were so many questions that formed, floating around your head and you couldn't seem to find the words to articulate any of them. before you could even try, you jumped again at the sudden appearance of two new individuals, one of them being jungkook himself and forced you to put away your thoughts.

  “we’re behind schedule, did yoongi put the cake in the fridge?” this new person was turned to taehyung, carrying a case of beer. “we need - oh, hi! y/n! i totally remember you, i heard you were back!”

  you’d never seen someone with such energy, exhibiting positivity like a ray of sunshine. it seemed like he was genuinely delighted to see you. taking a closer look at his features, you recognized him to be jung hoseok - jungkook’s next door neighbour. he put down the case in his hands and immediately pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

  “hoseok, hi!” you winced, trying your best to hug him back, but it certainly made you burst into a giggle.

  he was the first person to remember you on the spot, which took you aback. a few years older than you, you weren’t as close with him as you were with jungkook growing up, but he was always around. you remember him as the big brother who showed you and jungkook the cool ‘older kid’ shows and games that your parents would have never let you watch at that young age. 

  “how have you been? you look so grown up! you’re really staying here for good?” the questions were rapid-fire, one after another.

  beside him, jungkook was smiling, but tapped hoseok to bring him back into the main conversation. “hyung. hyung! we’re behind schedule, remember?” he groaned, but grinned wider when you met his eyes. ��nice to see you, though, bunny. really glad you came.”

  “oh, right.” hoseok quickly let go and cleared his throat, beginning to point to each of you with authority. “you, taehyung. go help jimin with the slideshow. namjoon has the pinata.”

  pinata? how old was this jin person, was he one of jiwon’s friends?

  “you, jungkook. jin said he’s five minutes away, we need you to distract him for a bit longer.”

  “can i help?” you piped in, feeling a bit out of place. “i mean, i’m here as a last minute guest, i’m happy to help in any way.”

  hoseok clapped his hands together in glee. “thank you, y/n! go help jungkook distract jin, you being there will give him a reason to yap on. let’s go team!” he raised his fist in encouragement and in the blink of an eye, he already dashed off. 

  at this, jungkook seemed unfazed and frankly, so were you. you remember hoseok’s personality to be like this - extremely vigorous and could never sit in one place. on the other hand, taehyung looked perplexed as much as he appeared amused. he only shrugged, picking up the case of beer that hoseok clearly forgot.

  “let’s go team, i guess. i’ll see you guys in a bit!” taehyung chuckled, walking off.

  you were expecting to be asked to move around chairs or help bring out food. this wasn’t quite in your cards. you turned to jungkook in confusion, who chuckled at your expression.

  “come follow me.”

  he led the two of you back out the saloon, hands in his jean pockets. the early summer air was stunningly humid and coming outside was like hitting a muggy and sticky wall. but, there was one thing that couldn’t be replaced.

  you couldn’t help but stare up at the sky, a fixed gaze. “you can really see the stars when you’re in the valley.”

  the stars, dotted across the night, twinkled and smiled down at you. it was a view that others only romanticized and dreamt of in carefully crafted paintings and poems made to move the soul. and now, this dream was your new home. 

  jungkook mimicked the way you tilted your head up, lost with his own gaze. “i’ve lived here all my life and i never get tired of it.”

  “i can’t believe i forgot about this. . .” you trailed off.

  he pointed out to the sky. “that one is ursa major and you can see - “

  “ - the big dipper,” the two of you said in unison, which led to a shared laughter. 

astronomy was one of your biggest interests growing up, having stacks of books and a tapestry of the night sky in your childhood bedroom. your bedroom in the farmhouse also had a shelf full of astronomy books, which your grandpa still kept until his passing. having ignored the task of organizing and arranging your new bedroom, which was the same room you occupied over your summers in amber valley, you made a note to go through this shelf when you arrived home.

  jungkook said, “you’re the one that taught me about that,” he turned back to you. “you actually used to randomly quiz me on constellations, it was really stressful.”

  you could see your younger self sitting on your grandpa’s porch steps with jungkook, who lazied on the hammock across from you. you would compile actual multiple-choice questions and threw pebbles at him whenever he got an answer wrong. eventually, your grandpa scolded you for that, so you changed your weapon of choice to toy balls.

  “i guess my lessons paid off, though,” you bantered.

  following this, you heard a person shout jungkook’s name. you looked over and saw a man walking in your direction. he was tall and handsome and his smile was inviting. a little too handsome, he reminded you of models you’d seen in high fashion ads. his clothes contributed to the image, a patterned short sleeve button down and t-shirt that gave off neat and put-together. he wore jeans like what seemed to be 90 percent of the town, but you noticed the luxury brand belt. 

  “oh, seokjin!” to this, jungkook nudged you, as if signalling for you to be ready for something.

  this was jin? the birthday boy with a pinata? he had to be around hoseok’s age.

  “hey! hoseok told me to meet him here, have you see him?” seokjin began looking around. “he is working tonight, right?”

  “uh, did he?” jungkook’s tone was not convincing and you couldn’t believe the hoseok made such a horrible liar be the distraction. “i think he is, want me to call him?”

  “um, yeah. he said he was returning something he borrowed from me.” seokjin looked at him strangely. “why don’t i just go inside and check? why are you just waiting out here?”

  “this is y/n!” jungkook suddenly blurted out, seemingly having no way around the conversation. his smile was painful and avoided making eye contact.

  your eyes went wide and seokjin turned to you, having not realized there was another person in his presence. “oh, i’m so sorry! i didn’t see you there.”

  “yeah, hi, that’s me. y/n.” this time, it was jungkook looking at you like you were the least convincing person in the world. you cleared your throat and offered a handshake to seokjin.

  seokjin didn’t seem to notice your awkwardness and took your hand. “it’s really nice to meet you. jungkook actually told me a lot about you!” it was subtle, but you could hear jungkook groan. 

  you raised your eyebrows at jungkook. “oh, did he?” 

  “you guys grew up together, right? and you’re taking over the old farm?” 

  although you could tell right off the bat that seokjin wasn’t from amber valley, his deamanour was just as welcoming and friendly. he asked you a few questions about where you’re from and how settling in was. 

  “i’m sure you’ll be a natural. it sounds like you already have a lot of experience!” seokjin exclaimed and his positivity gave you genuine reassurance. “we’re all friends around here, so don’t be shy to reach out if you need anything.”

  “thank you,” you replied.

  jungkook tried to regain his composure. “seokjin runs the bakery down the street.”

  “yeah! my wife and i used to buy eggs from your grandpa all the time, hopefully we can keep doing that,” seokjin winked at you. 

  then, the front door of the saloon cracked open just enough for hoseok to poke his head outside. there was no sign of activity from the inside, with the lights now off and all voices coming to a complete silence. 

  seokjin tilted his head slightly when looking at hoseok. “there you are. are you. . closed? the bar is closed on a saturday night?” he asked.

  “yeah, uh, plumbing issues,” hoseok’s eyes darted over to you and jungkook. “y/n, jungkook! what brings you here around this time of day? you should all come in!”

  despite the growing skepticsm etched on his face, seokjin glanced over to you two and shrugged. he followed his friend’s gesture to come inside. 

  you mumbled to jungkook, “you and your friends are all terrible liars.” to this, jungkook stifled a laugh and playfully jabbed his elbow into your arm. 

  hoseok opened the door wider and seokjin went in first, while you and jungkook trailed after. you were surprised at how well they made the interior appear deserted, with not a single soul in sight. you did noticed that they even stacked the chairs on the tables, as if the establishment was really closed.

  “by the way, hoseok is the manager of the saloon,” jungkook leaned into your ear and whispered. 

  the floorboards creaked with every step, only adding onto the heavy silence in the atmosphere. seokjin looked around, eyebrows furrowed. he cleared his throat, hoping to cut the awkward tension.

  seokjin started, “so, y/n, what happened with you and ju - “

  “surprise!”

  all of the lights flickered on and filled the room. upbeat music turned on suddenly, causing seokjin to jump and yelp. two dozen or so people popped out from random places - underneath the booths, from behind the walls, and from behind the bar. balloons and streamers began spilling out from out of nowhere.

  “happy birthday seokjin!” everyone yelled in unison.

  you awkwardly tried to join in once you caught onto what everyone was saying. despite that, the high energy ended up engulfing you and you couldn’t help but smile. some of the boys started throwing streamers at seokjin, while namjoon appeared from under the bar with a lit chocolate cake and began approaching the birthday boy in question.

  “thanks, y/n!” hoseok nudged you, as everyone began singing to seokjin. “it’s exciting that you’re around again!” 

  as the song concluded and seokjin enthusastically blew out his candles, you cheered along with everyone else. over the cheering, jungkook found his way to you again. he raised his hand, offering a high-five, which you immediately accepted.

  something about the atmosphere unlocked something inside you. within days, you were welcomed into the community and for the first time in a long time, saw people that could become your actual friends. maybe this was what your grandpa was talking about.

  “yeah,” jungkook added, “it is exciting that you’re around again.”

  “real connections. . .” you muttered to yourself, remembering the contents of your grandpa’s letter.

  the yelling got louder, as the partygoers chanted for seokjin to make a speech. “huh, what did you say?” jungkook shouted over the chanting. 

  “nothing!” 

  you weren’t prepared for the next part of grandpa’s wish for you. it was a surprise to you that you were able to ease into the town and become comfortable connecting with the people around you. at the end of the day, though, you had a farm to run and you were about to face the worst of it. 

  viii. the second storm

your grandpa’s last wishes for you were to reconnect with people and nature. nature. you didn’t realize what you were getting yourself into.

  “oh my god! why does mother nature hate me?!”

  the best thing about living in a big farmhouse by yourself was the fact that you could make as much noise as you wanted. you often found yourself yelling at the top of your lungs, shrieking like a bird when you came across anything frustrating. considering you were learning an entirely new job on your own, it happened quite often.

  you screamed into the void after your first phone call with a vendor, who kept on asking you if you knew what you were doing. you swore you almost broke your vocal cords when you sunk into the mud the first time you checked out the fields after a rainy night. at least you walked away several metres from the coop before you screeched in agony after the chickens gave you a hard morning on time. 

  when a soft knock on your front door interrupted your emotional breakdown, your heart stopped. 

  “fuck!” you whispered to yourself.

  who would be visiting you? what if it was someone important, like mayor kim? maybe they didn’t hear - no, they definitely heard. 

  you tentatively approached the door and took a deep breathe before swinging it open.

  “i didn’t know you started tending to hyenas on the farm.”

  it was jungkook with a lazy, shit-eating grin. it was early in the morning, about 8am, and he wore workout clothes. baggy grey sweatpants and a white nike tank-top, you felt like you were straining to keep your eyes on his face and not anywhere else. 

  “oh, shut it. good morning to you, too,” you shot back. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”

  “sorry, i would’ve texted, but i was already passing by on my run,” jungkook said.

  it’d been about a week since you last saw him, though he was nice enough to check in on you every once in a while to see if you were doing okay with the farm. you hardly left home, used to the same routine of working and going right to bed everyday from your old life and the habit was hard to break. 

  he continued, “anyway, i saw your windows hanging from outside and i just wanted to make sure - “

  you opened the front door wider for him to see the state of your front entryway and his jaw dropped. there was water everywhere on the floor. the storm from the night before was aggressive and the age of the house couldn’t stand it. you didn’t anticipate for it to be this bad, having just shoved the windows closed before you went to bed.

  “yeah, they’re wrecked,” you sighed, looking over to what was left of it, considering most of it was on the ground. “actually, that’s why i was screaming.”

  “you know, i take what i said back. totally justified.”

  “thanks,” you rolled your eyes and sighed. he made a gesture as if to come in and you obliged, carefully stepping aside and making sure you weren’t stepping in a puddle. “i’m surprised this hasn’t happened before.”

  he let out a low whistle, as he walked inside and took in the sight of your floors. “honestly, me neither. you would think this would’ve happened already ages ago.”

  you didn’t know what else to do but shrug. “i can handle it.” despite your words, you certainly could not handle it. there were still a million things you had to take care of around the farm and dealing with broken windows and water was an incredible burden that you didn’t know where to start.

  “shit. look, i have to go to work in a bit, but let me help you out,” jungkook said. 

  you instantly shook your head. “jungkook, no. it’s fine, really, i got it.”

  “you’ve never picked up a screwdriver in your life.”

  “hey, you don’t know that!” you wanted to slap him upside the head like from when you were kids, but found the strength to refrain.

  it was only jokes and jungkook’s smirk showed it, but his tone then became serious. “okay, then, at least let me help you fix your windows. dude, you live alone in this big ass house on this big ass farm. just say yes.” 

  at this point, you could tell he was exasperated with your stubborness and you laughed at it. you weren’t one to turn down someone offering to do manual labour for you, but you were hesitant to show any lack of indepdence. though, something told you to say yes and it wasn’t jungkook’s annoyance with your persistence. 

  “okay, fine. you’re real annoying, you know that?” you had to add in the last part, it was only natural. 

  he shook his head. “thank you - oh, how lucky i am for milady to accept my lousy, peasant self to fix your windows!” at that, you shoved him playfully and when he barely moved from your push, jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle. 

  “i know you’re perfectly capable of doing things yourself, by the way. you just shouldn’t have to all the time,” he gave you a pointed look. 

  you nodded slowly, looking down at your feet. “thank you, jungkook.” 

  though it was only 8 in the morning, you decided to take a later start in the day, since you usually woke up at the crack of dawn. you had your entire day ahead of you and what felt like a hundred things to do and the last thing you wanted to add was a trip to the hardware store.

  “of course,” he carefully tiptoed around the water, moving back to the front door. “it’s what friends are for. i’ll come by tomorrow morning, how’s that sound?”

  this is not what you meant when you decided to “reconnect with nature” at all. with your fluffy indoor slippers soaked in rainwater, you were certainly more than connected with it. you made a mental note to visit the beach and call it a day, hoping that would fulfill your grandpa’s wish for you to be one with mother earth and that the forces of nature would leave you alone after that.

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @sstrongstyletyle @wobblewobble822 @seokoutt @firelcrds @taiwan0618

[impala-dreamer]

Meet Me At The Beach

A Supernatural Story

~ Texting and emails can feel so impersonal. There's nothing quite like exchanging tangible, handwritten letters with someone you love...~

Dean Winchester x F!Reader, Sam Winchester

4,025 Words

Warnings: Bittersweet Angst. SFW. 

A/N: This is for @jacklesversebingo "Writing Letters To Each Other" was the prompt. I hope you enjoy...

June 2

Dear Dean, 

This feels so weird. Do people really write letters anymore? Am I going to get strange looks at the post office when I go to buy a stamp? Will they even know what to do with this tiny envelope and folded piece of loose-leaf paper? I almost don’t know how to write anymore. My script looks kinda like chicken scratch, huh? Hopefully it’ll get better. It is weird not typing though. But emails just seem like work. Impersonal, ya know? Besides, it gives us something to look forward to when we hit the mailbox. Nice to open something that’s not a delinquent credit card bill, huh? 

Speaking of which- how the fuck do you do it? I just got another card canceled. My credit is non-existent. Fuck, I need to get a job. Could you imagine me in an office? High heels and panty hose and my hair tucked into a neat, matronly bun? I shudder to think! 

OK, this is weird. I just wanted to write “LOL” but it’s not an email. Or a text. Why are we doing this again? Oh, yeah, see above. 

Anyhoo- - - - I don’t even know what to say! Umm… I’m in New Orleans for a bit. Not working, just hanging out. My friend Emily from high school tracked me down online and we’ve been chatty. She’s in a band. They’re not bad. Not great, but not bad. So yeah, I took a drive down to see a show and I’m just lingering. Drinking too much, sleeping past noon. It’s fun. Nice little vacation. 

Which - ahem - you should be taking. When are you gonna get your ass out of that dusty old bunker and stick your toes in the sand? I already told you I’d meet you in Pensacola with sunscreen and a cooler of beer. You know you want to. Or are you just scared to show off your ugly toes in flip flops? Your boots might actually cry if you ever took them off, so I guess it’s just as well. 

Hey, do you remember that night in Richmond when it started pouring and your boots sank into the mud puddle? God, that was a mess. We were soaked to the bone. Nice way to warm up, though - cuddled in the back of the Impala. I miss that car. Sometimes, I think I can hear it at night when the world is quiet and the wind is still. It’s like the engine roars in the back of my mind and I start thinking about all our adventures, all the time we spent driving into the sunset. 

I miss you. Is that wrong? I probably shouldn’t. Or at least, I shouldn’t tell you that I do. But I do. I miss you so bad sometimes that it hurts. Like someone has punched me right in the chest. Maybe we can end up in the same town soon. Grab some tacos and sit on the hood. Make a mess. I’d like that. 

OK, before I get too emotional and start asking you to run away with me, I think I’ll end this ranting scribble of horrid handwriting. 

Write me back soon.

Love, Y/N

June 21 

Y/N- 

Your handwriting does not look like chicken scratch. I like it. Mine is like some toddler just learning his letters. Whatever. I never learned that fancy shit. I can sign my name and make a grocery list. That’s all I need. 

This is weird, yeah. But it’s kinda nice. Feels more… like you’re here. Does that make sense? Like seeing your handwriting, the dents in the paper- I don’t know. Just feels more real. Like you’re not just some computer talking back at me. Also there’s something strange about answering questions weeks later. I meant to write this sooner, but I got a little distracted. There was a Kung Fu marathon on and I just lost track of time. Too much pizza, not enough Carradine. Ya know? You know. 

Remember that horrible motel in Raleigh when we both caught that nasty stomach bug and stayed up all night watching old tv shows? Saltines and Little House. I’ll never forget it. You were so sick that day. Shit, I was sure I was gonna end up taking you to the hospital. Sure, I was puking too, but you looked like death. I hated that. Hated that I couldn’t help you, make you feel better. I did cook up a mean chicken noodle soup though, didn’t I? Not that it stayed down for long. 

Thank god for that yellow Gatorade. And yes- it’s fucking yellow. Not green. 

Anyway- I miss you too. I try not to, I really do. Not all the time, no offense, but sometimes I’m just fucking insane with shit going on. But at night, especially, I miss having you beside me. I miss rolling over and seeing you there, or hearing you snore. I miss feeling your freezing feet under the blanket. I don’t know, I just- 

What can I say? I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I’m the biggest piece of shit in the universe. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. 

Can’t change the past. Just gotta move on. 

Maybe someday you’ll forgive me. I hope so anyway. 

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t dump that all out in a letter. I almost ripped this all up and started over. I actually let it sit for a day before I came back to it. But, fuck it- we said we were gonna write to each other and be honest, and here I am, being honest. 

Fuck, I’m so tired. That kinda tired when sleeping for ten days wouldn’t even put a dent in it. Yeah, OK, so things are getting a little better. Chuck’s gone for good this time. Jack’s got things back in place, even made a few improvements. Sam’s- well, he’s Sam. He’s fine, doing his thing. The dog is- did I tell you we have a dog now? Yeah, I know. Me and a dog- yeah right. But we do. Miracle. He’s a good boy. I’ll send you a picture soon. 

Never thought I could slow down like this. Feels like for the first time we can just - work. I mean, I’m never gonna give up hunting, not totally, but- feels like I could just ease back a bit. Been looking at some jobs in town- nothing crazy, fixing engines and stuff like that. Don’t know if you remember, but I’m pretty good with my hands. 

Did you blush? 

You did. 

OK. I guess- that’s it for now. I have no fucking idea how to end this so - bye?

~ Dean

P.S.  I’ll meet you at the beach soon. I promise.

Fifteenth of July 

To Whom It May Concern:

Re: Beach Vacation

Dear Mr. Winchester, 

I am very pleased to hear that you are agreeable to meeting me at the beach. It should be delightful fun to run through the surf and hunt for sea glass with you.

Oh shit! Do you remember that new age shop in… where the fuck was that? With the sea glass necklaces in the window that I said were so pretty and the witch inside said they were blessed to give the wearer riches or some shit like that. Where was that? Who knows.

Feels like we’ve been all over the world together. Well, this country at least. Lord knows I could never get you on an airplane. If only you could drive to Paris. Did I ever tell you about my trip to France? God, it was beautiful. Rained the whole time, but it was this beautiful, warm spring rain that made everything smell like dust and petals. Not rose petals, but those little white ones that grow on trees, ya know? It was so beautiful. Fuck it. I’m taking you one day. You need to see more than the dash of your car and the backroads of America. Time to travel!

Speaking of- I’m glad you’re slowing down a bit. I know that won’t be easy for you but if you think about it, you’ve spent the last forty years running from problem to problem like a damned bomb-sniffing dog. 

A DOG?! Dean Winchester, I never thought the day would come. I can’t wait to see a picture. Don’t forget it next time. 

I think you’d be a great mechanic. It was always very hot seeing you covered in sweat and grease especially if you had those damned coveralls on. I mean… what? I don’t think about you like that anymore, you know. It’s over and done with and we’re just friends. We are friends, aren’t we? Maybe something more than friends, I guess. Ex lovers? Ew. I hate that word. Lovers. So gross. Well, then what are we? Just two souls swimming in a fish bowl…

Year after year. Day after day. Do you know that I put nearly a hundred thousand miles on my poor truck this year? Back and forth, up and down the country. I don’t have to tell you how exhausting it is. Fun, but exhausting. Rewarding, but not. I wonder how many people remember me after I leave? Does that family in New Haven think about me whenever they go into the basement and it’s no longer haunted? Is there a photo of me on a fridge in Wilmington where I saved that guy’s fiance from the vamp nest? Probably not. I’m sure people remember you - The Great Dean Winchester. The sexy hunter with the green eyes and the giant black car. You’re hard to forget. Also, you hang out with a giant. Tell Sam I said hi. 

I do remember that puke fest! And it’s green. It’s literally neon green. Fight me. 

We could probably write a book, you and me. ‘Winchester & Y/L/N Do America’. It’s a coffee table book with pictures of random diner signs and gas station bathrooms. Maybe a list of the country’s best french fry places. Shit like that. Let’s do it. I’ll call my literary agent in the morning. Ha!

SPARTA!! That’s where that damned sea glass shop was. It just hit me! Stupid brain. I swear, I’ve been hit in the head way too many times. Broken too many bones. I’m getting too old for this shit. Did you know that my left knee pops whenever I stand up now? Like, how old am I?? I can’t stand it. I need a month at a spa somewhere in the desert. That’d be nice. 

Damnit. I just got a call from Vinnie Alverez. Do you know him? Hunter out of Pittsburg. Anyway- he needs help on a job. Guess I’ll cut this letter short. Hopefully I’ll find a box to drop this in on the way to PA! 

Miss you. 

Sincerely yours, 

Y/N

P.S. - I do forgive you, Dean. Of course I do. Things were just too hard back then. Life didn’t want to cooperate for us. It’s not your fault. Not my fault. It just was. Please don’t carry that guilt in your heart. You deserve better than that. 

August 2

Dear Y/N- 

You’re a real character, you know that? Love the corporate letter. I’m in for the book by the way. Could be awesome. We do need a full chapter on onion rings though. Make a note. 

I heard about your hunt in Pittsburgh. Came through the grapevine that you kicked some serious wolf ass. Nice job, kid. Hope you’re being careful. I know how bullheaded and impulsive you can get when you’re in the zone. Just watch your back, OK? Promise me. Last thing I wanna hear is that you got your heart clawed out or you’re walking around with a demon in your ass. 

Demons. Haven’t seen so many running around lately. Queen Rowena’s been keeping them in check. So fucking weird that she’s in charge now. Not that I’m surprised- she’s a badass bitch. If I had a nickel for every ruler of hell I was friends with, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. The kids still say that, don’t they? See, I’m not old. I keep up with pop culture and shit. Started watching the tik toks. I still don’t get it, but I like the woodturning stuff. Thinking about taking up whittling. Maybe carve you a keychain so you stop losing them. 

I got a call for a job interview. Chickened out though. I don’t know if I’m ready to start all that, ya know? Start a real life in the real world- just seems- I don’t know, scary. Yeah, I’ve faced every deadly thing on this and other worlds but the idea of getting a 9 to 5 civilian job scares me. I’m some kinda fucked up, huh? 

I think about it a lot though. Getting a job, finding a little house somewhere, settling down. A little fenced in yard so Miracle can run around and dig up dirt. Might put a rocking chair on the porch and watch the clouds, some shit like that. Would you come visit me in my Barbie dream house? I’ll cook you breakfast every morning and you can rub my feet at night. Real cozy couple stuff. 

OK, so maybe I’m thinking about you more and more these days. Maybe I’m regretting leaving. Maybe I’m just an idiot daydreaming about meeting you somewhere in the middle and sweeping you off your feet. One of those running hugs that hurts when you collide but ends in a kiss that makes everything feel better. I’m a real romantic fuck, huh? I was digging through my drawers yesterday and I found a pair of your socks. Those tiny ones that barely covered your ankle. I don’t know why they were stuffed in the back of the dresser, but there they were. Dingy white socks with the pink threads on the toes. I’ll bring them to the beach when we meet up. 

Oh, Sam says hi and he hopes you’re good and he wants you to shoot him a text when you can. You can do what you want, but you better not mail him a letter. That’s just for me. God, my hand is cramping up. I’m not used to this. Oh, and you’re not alone. My knee creaks like a haunted house when I go up stairs now. And my right wrist pops, and my neck makes this weird almost squeaking sound, and my ass- well, I could go on, but just know you’re not alone. Kinda weird to think that we lived long enough to be this old, ain’t it? I never thought I’d live to be thirty and here I am staring down 42. Forty Fucking Two. Can you believe that shit? Goddamnit I got old. Let’s go find a nursing home together. Maybe we can get a double room- or a king sized bed?

Think about it. We could be cranky old people together. Losing our memories and shuffling around with walkers and shit. You’d look cute with white hair. And fuck, my beard’s already going gray. Should I grow out my beard? 

Write back soon. I really like seeing your letters in the box. 

Dean  x

My dearest Dean Winchester, it is with great happiness that I write this letter to you and I do hope that it finds you well and happy and all good things and I can’t keep this formal shit up. Ha!

Anyway- but yeah, things are good. I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, but I was on a little trip around the continent. Headed up to Montreal for a bit. Killed some nasties, salted some bones, generally fucked around. My beloved truck crapped out in Burlington, Vermont, so I had to hang out there for a while and gather my resources to get a new vehicle. I think you’d like her. Green Ford Explorer from ‘94. OK, she’s not as sexy as the Impala, but she gets me where I need to go. Which, apparently, was Maine! I met up with some friends in Greenville. Cute little town full of witchcraft. So much fun. Also had a lobster roll on a pier… I swear to god, they plucked this thing right out of the water and slapped it on a buttered roll. You’d LOVE it. I’m gonna take you there someday. 

Speaking of- We need to make plans for Florida. I picked up a little bikini on my travels and I think I really need to show it off. Maybe you could be my bodyguard and keep the creeps away while I’m sunbathing? To repay you for your services, I’ll gladly let you take it off me at night…

Oh, and I’ve thought about this extensively, and I believe that you should, in fact, grow your beard out. Like, full on, bushy lumberjack beard. I can’t wait to see all that gray. You know I have a thing for older men… and you’ll always be older than me, Dean Winchester and don’t you forget it!

And for your information, I don’t lose my keys anymore! I got one of those… apple taggy things. Now I know where they are at all times. Can’t find my phone to find them sometimes, but that’s another issue. 

Two weeks later, I’m picking up my pen again. Sorry this is taking forever. Things are stupid busy. I wish I could just… put this fucking gun down and go live with you on a farm somewhere. Not a working farm, we wouldn’t keep pigs or anything because gross, but a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Big white house with a giant tree in the yard and a tire swing and a picket fence and a kid chasing the dog around and - 

Shit. Do you ever think about it? I do. A lot. More than I’d like to and it fucking cuts me up inside every time. I know we could never have kept it, and life- I mean- it just wasn’t meant to be. But I do think about it sometimes. Imagine if we’d just walked away from the life and tried to be a family? Impossible, I know. Maybe in another life. 

Shit, I’m sorry. Fuck. Ignore me. I haven’t slept in a while and I just

I want to see you. Can we meet somewhere? Wherever you want. I’ll come to you. 

~ Y/N 

Dear Dean, 

This is my second attempt at writing this. Crumpled up the first one because I’m an idiot. Am I an idiot? Did I piss you off with the last letter? I honestly didn’t mean to. I just- we said we’d be honest, and you’ve been so open in your letters that I thought it was ok to talk about, but I guess not. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have dug that stuff up. 

I’m so tired and stressed and I miss you so much. Since we’ve been writing back and forth it’s almost like I can’t stop thinking about you. I get so fucking excited to check the mail whenever I roll back into town. It’s like… I don’t know, it’s like Christmas every time I see your handwriting in my box. Remember the time you wrote your name on my thigh in Sharpie? That stayed on for like a week. I shoulda gotten it inked on. That’d be something, huh? Branded by a Winchester. 

Fuck, Dean, I really hope you’re not mad at me. I really want to call you, but we said we wouldn’t. Just write me back, please. 

I’ll be in your neck of the woods next week. Got turned onto a haunting up in Abilene. Maybe we can meet on the road somewhere? Please? 

Hey, did you know there’s a Hunter, Kansas? Wonder why they didn’t build the bunker there. I don’t know, made me laugh when I was looking at the map. 

Anyway- Please write me back. Or call. Or text. Or send a damned pigeon with a tiny letter taped to its foot. I don’t care, how, just do it please. Even if you’re mad at me and don’t want to talk anymore, I get it. But please. Just let me know, OK?

I’m sorry. 

Love, Y/N

Dear Y/N,

I didn’t know you and my brother were writing to each other like this, but I found your last few letters to him in his private P.O. Box. I didn’t even know he had one of his own, but I guess we all keep secrets from those we love. I hope you don’t mind that I read your letters. Not all of them, but the last two that came through. Please know that Dean would have responded if he could have, I know he would have. He talked about you a lot recently. Said you two were in contact and that he was hoping to find some time to meet you for a vacation. I don’t know where you guys were planning on going, but I found a new Hawiian shirt in his closet with the tags still on it. 

I know we spoke on the phone after he passed, but I wanted to send this to you. I was cleaning up his stuff and found his notepad. Looks like he’d started a letter before we left for Canton. I think he’d want you to have it. 

I’m closing up the Bunker soon. I don’t really know where I’ll go, but I can’t be here right now. Not without my brother. 

I’ll always be around if you need anything or want to talk. I’ll always answer the phone for you, Y/N. 

Be well,

Sam Winchester

Y/N/N, 

If I could take it back I would. Every fucking word. I think about it now and I know we made the wrong choice. I know we could have made it work if we tried. But we are both total fuck ups who can’t be normal. We just can’t. 

Forgive me

That’s dog slobber up there, not tears. Just fyi. Definitely not tears. I think I might have been a little drunk when I started writing and then well-

Anyway- Maine sounds awesome. We were there once but no time for lobster rolls. Guess I missed out. 

Not much to report since the last letter. Been kinda quiet here. But… I did apply for a job. Well, I filled out the application. Well, I started filling it out. It’s actually underneath this notepad right now. I’ll get to it. I will. I just need a good kick in the ass. Or maybe a pinch… wink wink

I absolutely think we need to get together. Pick some place stupid like the World’s Largest Frying Pan or South of The Border. I’ll meet you. Just say when. 

Guess this letter will take a little longer to finish. We’re leaving for Ohio in a little bit. There’s a buncha vampire dicks making a mess. Gonna take ‘em to batting practice. Show them my machete swing. I’ll give a full report when we’re back home

Dean Dean, 

I made it to the beach. It’s hot, like stupid hot. Had to stand in the water just to keep my toes from burning. I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to think of something to say, but all I can say is I love you. I miss you. I wish you were here with me. I wish things had been different. I wish and wish and wish. 

If I throw this into the ocean will it get to you somehow or will my words just wash away like the sand? 

I’ll see you again someday. I hope so, anyway. Let’s just pretend I’m destined for Heaven. I know you’re up there. You were too good not to be. You sacrificed so much, cared so much, saved so many people. I know you made it. If there’s any mercy in this universe, I’ll be up there someday too. Just don’t have too much fun without me. 

I love you, Dean. Always. 

Y/N

2024 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!)

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[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep8 Musings - Loustat (SPOILERS) Pt2: Reunion

You don't know the HALF of what Lestat feels for Louis, to let YOUR grimy arse steal his man, just for LOUIS's happiness. ANYTHING for Louis.

Am I the only one who felt left hanging? We BEEN knew it didn't make sense, but what's your POINT, exactly? If Louis misremembered Lestat whispering, it's just par for the course about the odyssey of recollection. But if Lestat DID do telepathy, is that evidence of...what? That the vampire bond works differently than what's been explained? That he COULD read Lou's mind? AMC, this is AGGRAVATING.

Your goose is COOKED, my guy.

The copium & denial pack Louis was smoking as he laughed was 🤌

That's right, start sweating!

Master manipulation; cuz he certainly would NOT have, as we soon find out. ANYTHING for Louis. (Dang, Imma have to take back some of what I said about Lestat's character development not having started yet.)

I was shocked. I was NOT expecting this plot twist. I was ready to throw Lestat out with the rest of the TRASH, in the DUMP. Well dang. Guess I'll only leave him rotting in a TINY landfill.

I nearly SCREAMED--@nashvillethotchicken and I were talking about Loustat as Bobby and Whitney ages ago! I cannot BELIEVE AMC threw in a New Edition reference in the year of our lord 2024; y'all are diabolical AF, Rolin, STOP IT.

I wonder if AMC used Hurricane Odette cuz the OG script was set in pandemic!2020, so it would make sense that a year later Louis would head back to NOLA during 2021 when Hurricane Odette last hit.

That looks like NOLA's Pontchartrain Hotel--lemme find out he bumped into the Mayfairs when Rowan & them were in town, LOL.

Lestat got more aliases than the KGB; meanwhile Louis just sprinkles his long AF unique AF name all over the place. 🤦 But I guess it's ok, since the tour guide never mentioned him & Claudia by name. (Not Tom Anderson in another finale, LOL.) Louis so offended the tour guide said he ran a voodoo cult. XD

Fall of the House of Lioncourt-Melmouth.

You're gosh darned right! THEE Louis of Troy is in the building!

You love to see it. "A wearisome fledgling; all the millennials are--" not Lestat making PALE PROXIES of rat-catcher extraordinare LDPDL out of millennials. 😭

Lestat, if you don't get your crazy arse outta here with that bloodstained wooden keyboard Imma ROTFLMFAO.

NO JOKE, I effed up my friend's whole set when I started screaming "Siri, Pause," cuz my friend's Siri started freaking out and effed up the volume! XD

HERE WE EFFING GOOOOOOOO

(Best scene all season, fight me on this)

You know this was TEARING Lestat up, cuz of what happened in 1973--I gave Louis to you so you could do BETTER by him than EYE did, and instead it's NICKI ALL OVER AGAIN.

Imma smack him--this is NOT the time to be self-loathing, Lestat!

NOLA is my home--and the SAINT is not a city--I'm gonna cry.

He did. He just forgot, when reality settled in and the allure/nostalgia/glamour wore off. "I tried to make nights awful for you." Not the whole time, Louis. Y'all actually were happy b4--even Claudia said "the easy times" stopped after Florence died; and esp. after Charlie died. Lou can't be blamed for grieving his mom's death, and he definitely can't be blamed for Lestat & Claudia falling out after Charlie. Everything that happened after that--the 7 years of depression--was ALSO Lestat's fault. "I wanted you to suffer, cuz I was suffering;" I'm glad Les just waved that aside and said they BOTH wronged e/o.

He's not suicidal anymore then! He has nights in front of him to look forward to! So Lou can finally "learn to live honestly" with HIMSELF.

And Lestat dove RIGHT ON IN with that! He's been carrying that with him for DECADES, worried about Louis & what happened.

I LOVE that Les' language changes (the way his voice CRACKS and goes so TINY, oml)--he asked Lou in 1973 if he was "ill," and if something had happened TO him; so as to not spook/trigger or blame him--but he can ask more candidly now in a (relatively) "healthier" 2024 if Lou tried to hurt/kill himself; and get a more candid/honest answer. CLOSURE, y'all, I'm gonna cry.

GOOOOOOD. Don't EVER forget your daughter. Y'all need to have a Claudia Memorial; to KEEP remembering her, as she was in all her vampiric splendour, the good times AND the bad times.

I KNOW this hurt Louis to his effing core. The way Jacob cried FIRE!

I'm so glad Lou hugged him--YES YOU WERE, Uncle Les. And you KNOW it; you FELT that bond b/t y'all, even if she never looked at you. The distance b/t y'all was in name only, cuz a little Black girl couldn't have TWO daddies in 1917 and have one of them be white on top of it. I AM YOUR MAKER, sure, but you were her BLOOD FATHER, and she loved you, which is why she hoped you'd help her.

ANOTHER ROUND IN THE STORMY ROMANCE OF YOU TWO. 😭👏

What are these magical off-mic speeches/pep-talks Louis keeps giving people in Season 2?!? THE PEOPLE WANNA KNOW, gosh darnit!

DRATS.

I get why Jam said they thought the Loustat ending was "satisfying." It was nice, even though I'd've preferred to see Lestat in the Dubai penthouse at the end. :\

I LOVE THIS, AMC, thank you! ❤️

[moonjxsung]

Not Allowed (pt. 2)

TV GIRL / NOT ALLOWED

Link to part 1 here

⇢ Pairing: Lee Felix x fem reader

⇢ Summary: You and Felix are childhood friends turned fwb, with no strings attached. Felix leaves to pursue his idol dreams, and you begin your life as a college student. When he comes back to visit your town, he’s drawn to you again- but you’re both leading very different lives.

⇢ Warning: smut lol

⇢ W/c: 20k? idk

⇢ A/n: inspired by the TV Girl song “not allowed” <3 this has a lot of smut bc the whole song is abt sex so if ur uncomfortable with that, please don’t interact! 

// MINORS DNI // DO NOT STEAL OR REPOST MY WORK

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are 18+. the actions and story represented in this work do not represent Stray Kids in any way; everything described is purely a work of fiction!

You felt your heart drop in your chest. The conversation was not going to be free of hostility. Unsure of how to answer, you locked eyes with him, letting your expression soften into one of remorse. 

“I like it. The blonde.”

He gave a small nod. “Thank you.”

You looked around nervously, debating whether you should just get up and leave. He wasn’t going to give up without a confrontation or an apology, both of which were off the table for you. 

“I’m gonna go order,” he said, smoothing down his top as he stood up. “Americano?”

You nodded, studying the pattern of the table below you. “Yeah, thanks.”

As he walked down the stairs to the counter, you replayed your thoughts in your head. This was going to be a colossal waste of time if you didn’t drop the cool girl act and just communicate with him like a normal human being. Not even your arguments with Mark were like this, so why were you so averse to doing the right thing? After all, it’s not like you were going to stay at your parents’ place for longer than a week. All of this would be out of sight and out of mind in due time, and you were determined to make it end on a positive note. 

When Felix returned, he held two iced americanos in either hand, clutching a small paper bag of croissants in the crook of his elbow. 

“Thank you,” you said as he carefully set yours in front of you. The rich, warm scent of both calmed your nerves a little as you took a sip of your coffee and nibbled a bite of the pastry.

Felix sat back in his chair and rested a slender hand on his cheek as he looked at you. 

“What?” you asked, worried you’d gotten something on your face. 

He shook his head. “Just looking.”

“You’re staring,” you replied, a bashful smile growing on your face for the first time all morning. 

“I can’t stare?” He inquired. 

“I guess you can if you want to. It’s just a little odd, is all.”

He cocked his head slightly. “I’m catching up on five years of changes. I promise I’m almost done.”

“Okay, okay. I digress.” you said, taking another sip of coffee and staring back at him. 

Felix’s hair was much longer than it was all those years ago, reaching just below the nape of his neck. His face was also much slimmer, and he looked rather intimidating with his carved-out jawline and hollowed cheeks. But his eyes were still soft, his button nose still a focal point of his beauty, and his lips even plumper and more pink than you’d remembered. 

“You look good,” Felix said in a voice barely above a whisper. 

You felt the heat rushing to your cheeks, suddenly more aware of your own appearance, and smiled politely in response. 

“Thanks. You look good, too.”

Felix took a sip of his coffee, and then his face turned serious again. 

“You… never called.”

You furrowed your brows at him, surprised at how quickly the conversation had changed pace. 

“I tried you a couple times. Never heard back.”

You did your best to remain calm, feeling angry at the audacity he had to accuse you of being the one to cut him off. He’d been the one with a time change, phone restrictions, and a whole new life to adjust to. As far as you were concerned, he’d transformed into a completely different person- whether he wanted you to remain in his life was up to him entirely. 

“You did? When?”

You shook your head with a dismissive smile. 

“When? I don’t know- some time and date five years ago?”

“You didn’t try again after that?”

At this point, you could feel yourself getting pissed off. 

“Why would I? I’m not even one to double text- what makes you think I should’ve tried for five years straight? I have a life too, you know.”

He ran a hand through his hair, smoothing down the longer bits and tucking them behind his ears once again. 

“I guess… I just thought we ended on a different note than we actually did.”

You cocked your head. “And what note was that?”

He exhaled sharply through his nose. “I don’t know, every day for a whole summer it’s like you can’t get enough of me and now you want to pretend I don’t exist?”

You scoffed at the absurdity of his words, although he had a point. 

“So I was supposed to keep trying your cell for five years straight because of some fleeting thing that happened half a decade ago? And where were you in all of this? You had a phone, too.”

“I told you it’d be some time after my trainee period. When I didn’t hear from you, I figured you just didn’t care to talk.”

You rolled your eyes, scoffing again. “Jesus Christ. Was I supposed to be sending an owl every week? Sorry I didn’t get the memo.”

“I didn’t know you needed a memo to remember who I was.”

“I know who you are!”

“Then why are you acting like it never happened?”

You sat back in your chair, angry thoughts racing around your mind. 

“Because!” You exclaimed, trying to compose yourself as you finally let your thoughts out. 

“Because what we had wasn’t supposed to ruin our friendship!  You left to be some mega-rich celebrity and I had to work my ass off to make a life for myself, only to never hear from you again. And now you’re back and I don’t know what it is that you want from me, but if it’s the same thing you wanted all those years ago then you can forget this little meeting ever happened. I’m not some side piece you have when you’re not filming commercials or singing on stage. Believe it or not, I have a life outside of whatever the hell this is.”

He shook his head in disbelief, and a silence washed over both of you. You glanced around the floor, hoping nobody heard any of that. The other diners seemed to be wrapped up in their own conversations, and you felt a minuscule sense of relief. 

“I can’t believe you think that’s why I came back. Even back then.”

You stayed quiet, feeling defensive and irate. 

“We never should’ve done it in the first place,” you said, lowering your head. 

He swallowed a lump in his throat. 

“You really feel like that?” Felix asked. 

You gave a small nod, holding back frustrated tears. 

“Yeah, I do. I wouldn’t have to spend my adult life running from such a stupid mistake.”

Felix’s lips pulled into that same thin-lipped expression of hurt, and he raised his eyebrows.

“Okay. If that’s how you feel.”

Without another word, he pushed out his chair behind him, and gathered the mostly-full drink and crumbs of his unfinished croissant. 

You remained seated at the table as he gave you a small bow and made his way to the stairs. And then he was out of sight, for the fourth time that week. 

*

You probably cried for hours that night. It was getting old fast, this torturous act of hurting Felix and then feeling guilty for hours on end. But you couldn’t help the way you felt about the whole situation. 

You’d seen the interviews, watched the way he filmed alongside beautiful Korean women and traveled the world to perform in front of thousands of pretty girls. He had the world at his fingertips, and yet he used the brief moment of time you slept with him as a weapon against you- as if he hadn't moved on several times before all this. Moved on to a new place, a new life- probably even several other women.

When you’d finally begun to doze off to sleep, after hours of battling a pounding headache, a startling noise woke you up again. 

Three brisk knocks on your window- just like they’d always occurred.

Your heartbeat quickened, and you looked at the clock while still adjusting to the atmosphere around you. It was just past midnight. You crawled out of the comfort of your bed, fixing your hair briefly and pulling up the blinds to get a good look. 

Felix stood against the dark night sky, casually dressed in a light gray hoodie and track pants. His hands were shoved in his pockets, head hung in deep remorse. 

When you opened the window and looked at him, his glossy eyes suggested he’d been crying too. 

“Hi,” Felix said quietly. “Can I come in?”

You complied, stepping aside as he hoisted a leg over the sill and climbed into the small space of your room. It felt like old times, only this time it was tainted by tension and your caution so as to not overstep boundaries. 

You sat on the edge of your bed, and Felix found a seat on the desk chair across from you. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I was angry. And I let my emotions get the best of me.”

You chewed on the inside of your lip, an anxious habit that made itself known whenever you had to tear your own walls down. 

“I reached out because I cared about you,” he continued. “Five years ago. And I still do. I had zero intention of sleeping with you. It just happened. And it’s not going to happen again. I never would’ve just used you for sex. Part of me wants to think that you know that, too.”

You began to cry even again, wiping tears with the back of your hand. You knew he was right, and you didn’t actually believe that. His intentions had just gotten blurry with him being so far away. 

“Hey…” he said, finding his way next to you and wrapping you in a warm hug. “I’m really sorry I hurt you. I was just being selfish.”

You gasped through tears at his words. “I could never forget you,” you blurted out, almost pleading for him to unlearn whatever you’d made him think before. “And I don’t think you used me for sex. It’s just… overwhelming having you back. I don’t think you realize how fucking hard it was for me when you left.”

Felix wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “You don’t think it was hard for me, either? I wanted to tell you so much. I wanted to call you up every chance that I got, but I couldn’t. And then when I didn’t hear from you I thought… I thought maybe I just cared more than you did.”

You shook your head. “I cared, too. Don’t ever think I didn’t care.”

Felix nodded, a kind of light in his eyes at your admittance.

“Can I stay for a bit?” Felix asked, hoping he wasn’t overstepping his boundaries by inquiring. “Nothing weird, I’ll even stay on the floor. I just want to catch up. As friends.”

It was your turn to nod, sitting back against the headboard and pulling your blanket up to your waist. He sat cross legged facing you, both of your gazes meeting each other with curious smiles. And for a small moment in time, you were those careless kids all over again. 

*

You don’t remember Felix leaving, but he did. You also weren’t sure when you’d fallen asleep. Beams of sunlight shining over your eyelids woke you up, and your room was quiet and vacant except for a small note on the desk. 

Y/n,

Had to leave for a family thing. See you later tonight?

PS- you still snore 

-Felix

You chuckled lightly at the note, remembering the way he’d teased you about that back then. 

You’d thought it to be a dream for a second, gripping the note firmly in your hands to remind you it was in fact, real. Felix had been here last night, and you finally didn’t want to cry at the thought of seeing him again. In fact, it excited you.

At breakfast, you thought over the conversations you had last night. Felix told you about his trainee days, long ones spent studying Korean and practicing dances in small, crowded rooms. He recounted the shows he was on, expressing the premature grief he’d felt at almost getting  completely eliminated. He told you about the members, eyes filling with joy as he described them in great detail and summarized their seven starkly different personalities. 

He told you about how much he’d missed his sisters, how long plane rides finally didn’t make him nauseous anymore, and how he felt much more natural being blonde.

And about how he thought of you every time he stopped at a McDonald’s. He also still used his raspberry chapstick, on his third tube now. And he missed you. 

“I never forgot about you. Not once,” he said honestly. “I stopped getting Oreo mcflurries because they tasted so much like you. It was a flavor I wanted to preserve in that little time and space. I feared I’d… lose it.”

You bit back a smile from across the bed. He always had a way with his words, but hearing the details of your relationship with him so eloquently relayed back to you made your head spin. 

“We’ll I’m sorry for ruining your favorite McDonald’s order,” you’d said back to him in a joking tone. You didn’t want to give him the wrong idea by entertaining the narrative too much. You kept it platonic.

After all, you still had Mark waiting for you back at home. As your mind snapped back to Mark, your eyes shifted around the room in a panic. It’d been days since you heard from him, and he never answered your last text. In a sudden panic, you reached for your phone and began to dial him, before hanging up and thinking it over. You desperately needed a new set of clothes, and it wouldn’t hurt to check on the apartment. 

So after a quick shower and some breakfast, you grabbed your keys and started off toward the apartment again. Not quite ready to return to the place of tedious routine. 

*

As you unlocked the door, an overpowering scent filled the room, making you scrunch your nose in displeasure. 

“Mark?” you called out, scanning the room for him. 

The kitchen was a mess, dishes piled high in the sink with remnants of previous meals all over them. The table was sprawled with unopened mail and- beer bottles. You knew instantly. 

“Mark?” you called again, growing angry at the state of the apartment. 

As you made your way into the living room, you finally saw him. Sprawled on the couch, a beer bottle clutched in his hand as a loud game of baseball echoed from the tv. 

“Mark? Why is the place so messy?”

He said nothing in response, fixated on the screen in front of him, bringing the bottle to his lips to take another swig of beer. 

“Mark?” you said again. 

“Jesus- stop saying my name like that, I have a headache.”

Your heart dropped at his tone. 

“Yeah, because it’s not even noon yet and you’re already piss drunk. What’s going on?”

He waved a hand to dismiss the conversation. 

“No, none of that,” you said. “Tell me what’s going on with you.”

He kept his eyes glued to the game, the commentator’s words drowning out his slurred reply. 

“I dunno. Have the place to myself considering my girlfriend left me. Just wanted a beer.”

“Left you?” you said in sheer disbelief. “I’m staying with my parents for a weekend and you think I left you?”

He shrugged. “You left me a while ago. You never want to sleep together anymore. We’re hardly even in the same bed, and when we are, you don’t tell me anything. You don’t visit me at work anymore. We haven’t gone on a proper date in forever. You’re always… gone. Even when you’re here, it’s like you’re not really here.”

It was the first time he sounded sober so far. Your heartbeat quickened with anxiety, as you weren’t prepared to be put on the spot like this.

You took a seat beside him timidly, folding your hands in your lap. 

“Is that what this is about?”

 “That’s what this has always been about!” he shouted, and you jumped in your seat. “Just say you don’t want this! Any of this,” he said, gesturing to the environment around you. 

You shook your head. “I’m just stressed. I still want this, I want you.” 

“Then why don’t you fucking act like it?” he questioned. You felt your eyes welling up with tears. 

“When have I not acted like it?”

“When you decided your work was more important than us.”

“I have never once put more value into my job than our relationship. You know that. Just because we haven’t had sex or cuddled in a little while doesn’t mean I’m not still here.”

Mark threw his arms up and let out an exasperated sigh, beginning to cry. 

“I lost my fucking job,” he said suddenly, hot tears streaming down his face 

“You- What?” you said, mouth slightly parted in shock. 

He buried his face in the palms of his hands, letting the beer bottle rest on his knee. 

“They let me go.”

“When?” you asked, turning your body to face him more. 

“Couple weeks ago.”

“Weeks?” you repeated. “Mark, why didn’t you tell me?”

He slouched further back into the couch. “I’m a fucking loser.”

“You’re not a loser,” you said. “You’re going through a tough time.” 

You scooted closer to him, enveloping him in a hug and rubbing his knee soothingly. 

“Where have you been if not the lab?” You asked suddenly, remembering he’d been gone for hours each night consistently. 

He rolled his eyes, pulling away from you. “Does it matter?”

You squinted. “I’m just wondering.”

Mark shut his eyes, taking another swig of beer and ignoring your question. “I need a nap.”

You got up from the couch, gathering the garbage that surrounded him and making your way back to the kitchen. 

“I’m gonna clean a little and grab my things. I just came here for a change of clothes.”

Soft snores emitted from the living room. 

You spent the better part of your day cleaning the apartment and organizing Mark’s stuff. You probably threw away dozens of takeout boxes and empty beer bottles, pinching your nose at the stench they left behind. 

When things seemed habitable again, you grabbed a fresh set of clothes and left the apartment, careful not to wake a sleeping Mark on the sofa. 

*

“You don’t know how long I could stare into your picture, and wish that it was me”

After stopping by your favorite ramen place for dinner and running a few errands, you returned to your parents’ amidst the rush of traffic, looking up at the vast navy sky. It was already nearing nighttime, and you knew Felix was visiting tonight. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t the only part of your day you were looking forward to. 

You showered again, washing the smell of beer and old takeout off your skin. And you dressed up in a cuter set of pajamas this time, matching your tank top to your shorts and completing it with a silky French braid. 

You were glad you had remembered to grab a few books from your nightstand at the apartment, settling down under your dimly-lit lamp to continue one you had already started. 

And just past midnight, three knocks came from your window. 

Felix climbed in with ease, setting a bag down on your desk and slipping off his sneakers. He looked fancier than you’d ever seen him before, light wash jeans accompanying a fitted black shirt and a leather jacket. You bit back a smile at the sight, wishing he’d owned it back when you were allowed to rip it off him. 

“Hey,” he said with a smile, sounding out of breath. 

“Hi,” you replied gently. “What’s with the fancy outfit?”

He chuckled. “We went to this dinner thing. I dunno, I think I just overdress wherever I go these days.”

You smiled up at him. “It looks good. Maybe overdressing is a good thing.”

“Yeah?” he said. “Maybe.”

You took your seat on the bed, resting against the headboard and crossing your legs. 

“How was your day?” he asked. It reminded you of when he’d catch up on your day between hungry kisses before you got intimate. Part of you wished it was still that way. 

You shrugged. “Not the best.”

“Why?” he said, furrowing his brows and sitting across from you, also cross-legged. 

 “Just… a lot. Back home.”

He cocked his head. “Back home? Wait so you don’t… you don’t live here anymore?”

You audibly laughed. “You thought I stayed in this dingy part of town? In this empty room? Of course not!”

“Where do you live then?”

“I’m on the south side, a little drive out from here. I just came to say hi to my parents for a bit. And to get a break from…” your voice trailed off. 

“From?” he said, urging you to finish.

“From… my boyfriend.”

Felix felt his heart sink.

He knew you agreed to remain friends. He knew he had an obligation to keep things platonic. He knew how you felt about what happened before. But he still held on to a sliver of hope that you’d be single by the time he came back to visit. Wishful thinking indeed. 

“Ah, boyfriend,” he said awkwardly. “That’s cool.”

You nodded. Sensing the awkward tension in the air, you changed the subject.

“What’s in the bag?”

He glanced over at it, shrugging casually. “Baked you a few things. There’s some brownies, lemon tarts and salted caramel cookies. Though I think I needed more caramel on those.”

You grinned at him, shaking your head. “You’re exactly the same. Still got a thing for baking. And spoiling people.”

He smiled back at you, a glint of sadness in his expression. “I never stopped.”

The night was spent catching up once again, you getting more glimpses into his life as an idol, and him learning all about your job and its attributes. Felix was careful not to bring up any topics that might lead back to your boyfriend, still feeling overwhelmed at the mention of one in the first place. Call it immature, but he was undeniably jealous. 

Yet every time the room fell silent, his mind wandered back to that minute detail. What did he look like? What did he do for work? How often did the two of you have sex? Were you in love?

Questions he wished he could pry and get an answer to, but ones he knew would push you away. So he kept silent, engaging in surface-level conversation that hardly satisfied his need to understand you. 

At half past two, you let out a yawn, feeling your eyelids getting heavy. 

“Tired?” he asked, licking a cookie crumb off the tip of his thumb. 

You nodded, stretching out your legs and pulling the blankets over you. You fluffed your pillow before resting a hand below your cheek and laying on it, staring up at Felix who still sat across from you. 

He swallowed nervously, admiring the way your long lashes blinked up at him so innocently. He remembered that from years ago, a little move that always drove him crazy. 

“You want to stay?” you asked quietly.

He swallowed again, feeling his ears get hot. 

“I… don’t want to make it weird. Especially with…” his voice trailed off. He couldn’t bring himself to circle back to the boyfriend topic.

“It’s not weird. We’re friends,” you explained. “You can just take the other side and we won’t cuddle or anything.”

Felix’s heart raced at the suggestion. Though he would have preferred cuddling, even as friends, he couldn’t bring himself to decline your offer. He wanted nothing more than to hear your snores as you drifted off to sleep beside him. 

“Okay,” he finally replied, removing his jacket and running a hand through his hair. 

“You still have a change of clothes in the left drawer,” you said in a sleepy voice. “And your toothbrush is still in the bathroom.”

Felix successfully found the change of clothes, comfortably slipping into them and brushing his teeth with the familiar blue toothbrush you always kept for him. 

When he returned, your lashes fluttered open, smiling up at the sight of him. “Cute,” you said quietly.

He felt his heartbeat quicken. There it was again- that feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when he had to remind himself to keep it platonic. Not to smother you with kisses, not to hold you while you slept. But to behave the way a friend did- one with a friend he was wildly attracted to, who also now happened to have a boyfriend. 

“Thanks,” Felix said, trying his best to sound nonchalant. 

He slipped into the bed next to you, pulling the blankets up to his torso and staring up at the ceiling. It was a sight he wasn’t used to, locking eyes with the white canvas above him. Normally he’d lay on his side, arms wrapped tightly around you, legs lazily hoisted over yours as he pressed little kisses to your face and whispered sweet nothings in your ear. 

The feeling felt strange, unnatural, even. Like lying beside a stranger in a foreign place. Not to mention the new addition of clothes- normally, Felix would get himself cleaned up and change into a clean pair of boxers. Sometimes, he wore nothing at all. The white t-shirt and patterned shorts were among the new developments in your friendship with him. 

“Need to charge my phone,” he said suddenly, sitting up and reaching for his phone from beside him. 

“Would you plug mine in, too?” you said, eyes still shut as sleep began to wash over you. 

He reached for yours, balancing the two phones in one hand as he made his way across the room to a spare outlet. First he plugged in his own, the little chime confirming the outlet worked. And then yours- the glow of your lockscreen making him squint against the brightness. He glanced over his shoulder at your sleeping frame, small breaths emitting from your mouth as you dozed. 

A growing curiosity led him to tap the screen as it dimmed again, examining the photo set as your background. 

It was a man, presumably your boyfriend, dressed in a black jacket and a snug black beanie, smiling at the camera as one slender hand gripped a spoonful of ice cream.  

Felix felt his stomach churn. He carefully observed all of his features- big brown eyes, dark slanted brows and a strong, masculine jawline. He was handsome- hell, he was hot. 

Felix painfully imagined the scenario that preceded the photo. First date? Second date? Hundredth date? Did he kiss you before, or after the picture was taken? Had the same spoon been used to feed you ice cream? Did you already live together at the time? What was his reaction at the photo finding a place on your lockscreen?

Felix clenched his jaw. He hoped the guy appreciated you making the photo a permanent part of your routine. The same photo you’d look at when you woke up in the morning, the same photo you’d look at right before going to sleep at night. The photo you’d see before dialing your mom or dad. The photo you’d see if Felix were to call. 

As he sat observing the photo, refreshing the dimming light for a third time, a small buzz caught his attention. There on your phone, a text banner covered the guy’s face. Felix scanned it briefly, knowing he really shouldn’t be prying in your text messages like this. 

Mark: Sorry about today

Felix raised an eyebrow. It must’ve been the guy on the lockscreen. A little heart emoji next to his name confirmed his suspicion. Another text came through as he finished reading. 

Mark: I should’ve told u 

He frowned. Told you what? What had happened before he came over tonight? Is that why you seemed upset?

Mark: Sorry for yelling. Thanks for fixing the place 

Mark: I’ll explain when you get back 

Mark: I don’t deserve you 

Felix scoffed silently. At least he knew that much. 

Mark: I still love you

And then he froze. The four words made his heart stop briefly.

He knew you’d been seeing someone new. He knew you weren’t single, and that you and him were not going to hook up. Let alone be in any form of an intimate relationship. 

But he hadn’t considered that the two of you were on “I love you” terms. The thought of it made his throat dry. You were entirely in love with someone, and it wasn’t him. It was never going to be him. For a fleeting second, Felix considered leaving. There was no reason to be here- in bed, asleep next to someone he’d felt so complicated about. He’d just grab his things and disappear out the window, probably never coming to visit you again. The presence of Mark in your life would likely fill the microscopic hole that was the absence of Felix’s. 

“Felix?” you said in a whisper. “Are you coming to bed?”

And he melted at the sound of your voice all over again. Giddy at the thought of being close to you again, of smelling your familiar scent and waking up next to you when Mark surely wouldn’t. 

“Coming,” Felix replied. “Just letting my mom know I’ll be late tomorrow.”

And before he could think it over any further, he slipped back into bed beside you. Hands folded over his chest, staring up at the ceiling that now seemed much more inviting than the thought of leaving you to sleep alone. The picture of Mark was etched in his mind like a painful tattoo, and he winced when he remembered the texts you would wake up to.

But not before you slept beside him first, gracing his presence with your light snores and sweet scent. Something Mark wouldn’t get for at least tonight- and for that reason alone, he was satisfied. 

*

“I dreamt I was standing in your doorstep, licking sweat off of your forehead, with your finger in my mouth, and the sound when leather jackets hit the ground”

Labored breaths escaped your parted lips as you slept, turning over in discomfort. 

You’d fallen asleep hours ago, Felix following shortly after. And quickly, he found his way into your dreams. 

Maybe it was the absence of intimacy between you and Mark, or maybe it was that stupid leather jacket Felix had worn tonight. Either way, your mind was clouded with images of it, painting vivid pictures of it on the floor between you. 

Felix towered over you, blonde hair falling into his face as he tilted your chin up to meet his, pressing wet kisses to your lips and neck. Your hands remained at your sides, waiting for him to take the lead. 

An eager hand snaked up your frame, finding its way to your mouth, where he interrupted the kiss by sliding a slender finger into your lips. You sucked obediently, never letting your eyes lose sight of his. 

When you’d soaked him in your spit, he guided you backward to the bed, desperately parting your legs and inserting two fingers into your aching sex. You gripped his forearms with pleasure, moaning against his lanky figure and begging for more. 

He hummed at your noises, pressing the hardness in his boxers against your core. When you gasped in response, he stood up again, running a hand through his hair as you watched him pull the waistband down lower, lower… 

Your own gasps woke you up, pausing at the realization of how much you’d sweated onto your sheets. Felix was sound asleep on the pillow next to you, his chest rising and falling gently with his snores.

You glanced at the time. It was just past 3. Felix had not even been asleep for a full hour, and yet here you were having lewd visions of him fingering you in the very spot you slept. You quietly slipped out from the covers, strolling to the bathroom and shutting the door behind you. 

You didn’t bother turning on the light, afraid you would wake Felix and cause him concern so late at night. Instead, you pushed aside the curtain in the bathroom window, allowing silver-blue moonlight to illuminate the room around you, observing your disheveled appearance in the mirror above the sink. Beads of sweat glued curly strands of hair to your forehead. 

Still aware of the heat in your core, you pulled down your shorts, and then your panties, quietly gasping at the sight. They almost peeled away from your wetness, stringy white lines of desperation disappearing on to the soaked spot where your longing for him made itself known. 

All it took was that stupid leather jacket, and here you were, almost cumming at the sight of him in dream. 

You couldn’t help yourself, letting one finger circle the pool that had accumulated between your thighs. The panting began gradually, as your mind wandered back to where you’d been so rudely interrupted in your dream.

You continued the fantasy of his boxers being pulled fully down, eyebrows arched in pleasure at the thought of his cock springing out, all hard and leaky and ready for you. In consciousness you’d probably tease him, a gentle hand caressing his length as you’d coo little compliments up at him, admiring the way he could barely contain himself. 

You’d bend yourself over the side of the bed, instructing him to use you, to fuck you hard, until he was satisfied. And he would, his length finding its way to your aching pussy, rubbing his wet head over your clit until you were begging to have him inside you. 

You could feel yourself getting close as you fantasized when he’d slide into you, his erection stretching you out the way it did all those years ago. You’d promise with pleading in your voice that you’d let him use you whenever he wanted, however he pleased, so that you’d get used to his familiar size and shape again. 

And he would smile between hard thrusts, picking up the pace as his hand would find its way to the small of your back, rubbing a thumb along your skin soothingly before leaning over and pressing a wet kiss on your shoulders.

Your moans would fill the room, saying his name like a prayer you’d repeat again and again, the four walls around you teeming with echoes of wet skin and filthy words. 

And that same gentle hand would caress your throat as he found his release, this time inside of you. He’d shower you with praise the way he always did, his deep voice making your skin tingle as he pressed little kisses to your neck and ear. And you’d kiss away his tears, staying close to him until sleep called your name.

As your mind drifted back into reality, you brought a finger up, observing the way you’d made a mess of yourself right in front of the sink. You parted two fingers curiously, white cum glistening under the moonlight. 

How pathetic. You’d been the one to establish boundaries again. You’d been the one who specified this was a platonic occurrence. 

Yet here you were, masturbating to filthy thoughts of him while he slept in the room next door, knowing very well you had a boyfriend waiting for you back home. 

After getting cleaned up, you found your way back to the bed, crawling in next to him like a guilty sinner. He turned to face you in his sleep with small breaths escaping his parted lips. 

Felix looked like an angel at this time of night. But the thoughts he gave you were anything except saint-like. 

*

Felix had to leave again in the morning, waking you up as he sat up in bed and stretched beside you. 

“Felix?” you said, memories of last night flooding your head all over again. You hoped he didn’t hear you in the bathroom. 

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he replied, his raspy morning voice sending shivers down your spine. “Have to go get some stuff done today.”

You turned over so that you were facing him and stared up at him through groggy eyes. 

He tucked his hair behind his ears, looking down at you and giving you a small smile. The sunlight kissed his blonde hair, setting it aglow and making it appear almost white. His eyes were puffy with exhaustion, but his smile exuded that of a restful night. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked. 

You thought back to a few hours ago. 

“Yeah. Better than I have in a while. You?”

He rubbed an eye, nodding. “I feel less tense.”

“Good,” you said. Maybe his dream self relieving some tension had carried over into his consciousness. 

“Do you want to do something tonight?” Felix asked suddenly. “I mean, like, go somewhere? I feel bad that we’ve only been catching up at ungodly hours of the night and then I have to leave.”

You reached a hand out, playing with a loose hem on his shirt. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”

He smiled again. “Cool. I’ll pick you up at around 6? We’ll go somewhere fancy.”

You nodded, shutting your eyes again. 

Without another word, he was out of the bed, pulling on his clothes from yesterday and neatly folding the pajamas before storing them back in the dresser. 

“Don’t forget your jacket,” you said, giving him an amused smile as he pulled it off your desk chair and draped it over one arm. 

“Oh yeah, thanks,” Felix replied. 

And with a small wave he disappeared out the window again, leaving you to the vacant room with thoughts running rampant. 

*

“I guess it’s different ‘cause you love him, but I’ve got an interactive sick and twisted imagination”

It was no use. Felix couldn’t behave like a normal functioning human when he wasn’t around you. Nor when he was around you. His mind wandered back to that photo set as your lockscreen- of Mark holding a spoonful of ice cream, looking handsome and intimate. 

As he sat in the backseat of the van, his mom talking the family’s ear off about plans for his sister’s upcoming graduation, he gritted his teeth remembering the texts.

He wondered if you read them yet, and how you felt about them. Maybe you were elated to hear from Mark, traveling back to the apartment to make love to him and accept his half-assed apology. Maybe you had already broken up with him, finally realizing your true feelings for Felix and waiting up for him in bed like you used to, only this time madly in love. 

Felix felt like such a loser. He could no longer deny the way he felt about you, constantly wondering what you were doing when he wasn’t around, who you were interacting with, and how often you thought of him. He’d give anything to crawl around in your mind and find out how you felt about him now that things were this different. He probably would’ve snooped through your phone last night if it wasn’t locked, to find a trace of him, and come to the absurd conclusion that you wanted him just as badly as he wanted you. 

Felix glanced down at his phone, opening Instagram for the millionth time today and clicking on your user. You didn’t use it much, but the 18 little squares did provide a window into your life without Felix, and he hated it. 

He hated to see you in a short dress at a club he wasn’t aware of. Hated to see your graduation photos, ones he wished he would’ve received when they were taken. 

Hated to see the pictures you had with Mark. One whole carousel dedicated to him, ten random photos you selected for a birthday post. A selfie of the two of you in bed, a funny picture of him wearing a face mask, a photo from when he let you make little braids in his hair and posed for you. And another photo from that same ice cream date, a different angle, but just as handsome and intimate as the first time. 

Felix clicked on all the same photos, reading the captions over again, stalking users from the comment sections and piecing together who they were in relation to you. But it was no use. No amount of obsessive stalking was going to make you like him. You had a life without him, beyond what you had five years ago. You’d been right about that.

Felix sighed, locking his phone again and thinking back to last night. He’d been so ecstatic to spend the night by your side again. It felt like home. He felt safe. 

He hoped you didn’t notice the erection that troubled him early into the night. He’d been forced to focus on his breathing patterns, moving as far away from you as possible to not get aroused by your sleeping figure. He remembered you getting up at some point, a brief interval of time which he felt empty and exposed without you in your bed. When you’d returned, he felt his heart could burst, suddenly overjoyed at the reminder that you were here beside him in your bed. And that it would remain that way until morning broke. Each passing minute worried him, and he so badly wished he could freeze time and stay with you in your bed forever.

“Felix?” a voice interrupted. He snapped his head up to the mirror, humming in response to his mom. 

“Should we coordinate so you can stay at the cabin with us? Or do you want your own room?”

His sister’s graduation. She’d planned a few days with her friends to stay by the lake, and most of Felix’s family would be at the neighboring cabin. 

“Oh, uh… I dunno, I was planning something with a few friends.”

“That’s okay,” she responded. “I know you have a lot you wanted to do.”

Her voice trailed back to the topic of their plans, and Felix’s mind wandered back to you. His family being away meant he had you to himself for a few days, and he wouldn’t have to leave you in the mornings. He bit back a smile at the thought of staying in bed with you all day. Even just as friends.

But the change of plans meant he had to organize something special tonight. Dinner? A movie? The two of you seldom saw movies together back then, always leaving 20 minutes in to go get busy in his car. He wasn’t even sure if you still liked all the same restaurants. 

But he did have one thing in mind, and he hoped it would help you forget all about Mark. 

*

When you woke for a second time, it was well past 11. You rubbed your eyes of sleep, surprised at how tired you’d been all week. Last night’s events really relieved your stress- maybe a little too much. 

You made your way to your phone, several notifications catching your eye. 

Ten total texts from Mark, a few from last night, the last one being just an hour ago. 

Mark: Call me when you can

Mark: I want to talk

Mark: Can you come over at all?

Mark: Sorry

You furrowed your brows, the texts ringing several alarms in your head. The constant apologies, the urgency to speak with you. The fight hadn’t been that bad, right? Did you remember it differently?

And one from Felix, who seldom texted you. The two of you were still getting acquainted with speaking through little messages like this- you didn’t have to in the past because you were always together. Phone calls were your preferred method of communicating with him if anything, but his texts were always so innocent, and knowing he was thinking of you made you smile. 

Felix: 🐣

The little emoji made you giggle, momentarily forgetting about Mark’s eagerness to speak with you. You shot him back a little emoji in response, settling on the sun, representative of both the day outside and his presence in your life. Sunshine. 

You put your phone face down on the bed again, gathering your clothes and toiletries for a shower. You had to go see Mark, and something told you it was going to be a long, long conversation. 

After a quick shower and some breakfast, (or lunch, rather), you were off to see Mark again. 

*

The apartment was beginning to look messy all over again. There were more takeout boxes sprawled along the counter, random belongings on the dining table and dishes stacked on the coffee table. 

“Mark?” you called out. 

“In the bedroom,” he shouted back, a somber tone in his voice. 

You kicked off your shoes and followed to your shared room, and the state of it confused you.

His clothes, stacked high on the bed, some hung neatly on hangers and some folded. His collection of sneakers, piled in one corner, along with his belts and hats. And miscellaneous paraphernalia that belonged to him- journals, briefcases, mementos.  

“Mark?” you said, taking in the sight. 

He looked up at you, pulling his lips in a thin line. He looked as though he’d been crying.

“Sit,” he said plainly. You complied. 

Before he said anything, he let out a heavy sigh, scratching the back of his head. 

“I never meant for you to find out like this,” Mark said. 

You waited for him to continue. 

“I just… things were hard. And I guess it was hard to come to you about it, because you always have your shit together.”

You twiddled your thumbs together nervously, “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

He looked behind him at the pile of clothes. “I didn’t think you’d want me around anymore.”

You turned to look at him, a little angry at him for jumping to conclusions like this. “I’ve done nothing but care for you. You’ve been here at some of my lowest points. Why do you discredit me when I’m here for yours?”

He looked at the floor, saying nothing.

“I mean for god’s sake Mark, not telling me about your job is one thing. But you’re going to act like I’m the bad guy for needing a little space when we’re going through a rough patch? I let you have the place for a bit, doesn’t mean I’m not coming back for you. I love you and you know that.”

He swallowed. “I just don’t know how we’re supposed to come back from this.”

“Come back from what, you drinking here and there to cope? A small argument we had last night?”

“Me sleeping with my lab partner,” Mark blurted out.

You fell silent. A wave of shock washed over you, and then distress. Your throat went dry, your eyes trembling with tears prematurely. 

“You what?” you asked, your voice coming out in a whisper. 

Mark hung his head. “I thought you knew.”

“No I didn’t fucking know! Jesus, Mark! How long has this been going on?” The tears began to fall, staining your face with mascara. 

“Four months,” he answered. Mark didn’t cry, nor did he raise his voice. It was a casual confession, like he’d been waiting to tell you all this time. 

Mark hadn’t even been out of a job four months ago. The cheating had begun when you two were still on good terms. Or so you’d thought. 

You nodded, silent sobs escaping your lips. Mark watched you with a guilt-ridden expression, knowing that this was it. 

“Okay,” you said, standing up from the bed and slinging your purse over your shoulder. 

He stood up too, observing your face. “I’ll be out by the time you’re back. I already arranged for my stuff to be picked up.”

His nonchalant tone angered you. You wanted to scream, to hit him and try anything to make him stay. But the truth was, you’d already lost Mark a long time ago. 

The two of you had been nothing but strangers in a joint bedroom, pretending nothing had gone awry, when in actuality, your feelings were just as convoluted as his. Maybe it was the stress of your job, or the existence of a routine that drove you crazy most days. Either way, you hadn’t been happy with him for a long time. The same rang true for Mark. 

“Can I ask you something?” You said before leaving. 

He paused with baited breath. 

“Why did you act like I was the one who threw this all away?”

He hung his head again. “Like I said before. It was hard to come to you about it. You always have your shit together. You always know what you want. And I think…” his voice trailed off. You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to finish. 

“I think your heart might be elsewhere too.” 

It was your turn to shift to an expression of guilt. Had he known all this time? About your complex feelings? About Felix coming back, and your nights with him, albeit nothing intimate? 

Though you wanted to defend yourself, you couldn’t. Instead, you pursed your lips together, nodding reluctantly in silence.

“I’ll be back in a few days,” you said. “Can we grab a coffee or something soon?”

Mark’s expression softened. He took a step forward, opening his arms for a hug, which you stepped into. His hugs, always so familiar- the scent of his cedar cologne and the firmness of his arms always felt like home. Or at least they did until this point of your life- maybe your chapter in this apartment with Mark was finally at a close. 

“Of course we can,” he said, his voice muffled into your tear-stained shoulder. 

And there you stood, basking in the last fragments of the place you’d called home for so long. 

*

“Do you like these little sonnets? ‘Cause I wrote them just for you”

In all honesty, the last thing you wanted to do was go out tonight. You’d spent the afternoon crying in your room, grieving the last few days you had with Mark. He’d been a steady part of your adult life for as long as you’d known it, and suddenly, he just… wasn’t anymore. 

You wanted to call him and ask if he was still seeing the girl he’d cheated with. A part of you wanted to hate him, but the other part just wanted him to be happy. Maybe this adult life was something you needed to navigate away from each other now. Maybe this routine wasn’t healthy for either of you. Since your freshman year of college, Mark was all you’d ever known. You hadn’t slept with anyone else, hadn’t dated anyone else, and hadn’t really met other men aside from his friends. But the thought of navigating the future without him was petrifying. 

On the other hand, you longed for the uncertainty. You wanted to have the freedom to go out and come home late, not having to worry about anyone waiting up for you. You wanted to discover new things about yourself, see the world, and make your own coffee at night when you worked. It’s not that you didn’t appreciate everything Mark did for you in that sense, but when incorporated into the repetitive routine of adulthood, they had lost meaning to both of you. Maybe that’s why Mark sought something else in another woman. 

And maybe that’s why you couldn’t push Felix away anymore. 

You weren’t sure about any of it. But you did know Mark seemed to have a weight off his shoulders. And you did know sleeping next to Felix felt… right. It felt safe again. It felt like home. 

You packed a few of your nicer clothes from the apartment, trying on variations of them in the bathroom mirror back at your parents’ house. 

Felix had called briefly to tell you to wear something that would match his black suit, and you were intrigued by the amusement in his voice. But you also faked your excitement on the phone, trying your best to hold back tears and sniffles.

So you settled on a silky maroon dress, the draped neckline accentuating the curve of your breasts and hugging your waist like it was tailored to you. A pair of black heels complemented your dress, and you felt sexy for the first time in a while. 

Felix called you when he arrived, almost on the dot. 

“I’m here,” he said. “Do you want me to go up? Or- are you parents home? I should probably say hi.”

You giggled at his nervousness. Just about anything made Felix nervous. He was an over thinker at heart. 

“I’ll meet you out there,” you said.

As you adjusted your earrings in the mirror, a wave of sadness washed over you again. It had been this very dress that you’d worn when Mark was a guest speaker at your school’s biology department. He loved the color on you- even made sure he snapped a few photos of you in it before tearing it off between kisses. 

You shook your head, ridding yourself of the memories, and tried your best to remind yourself that tonight was for fun. You needed a night to get your mind off things, to think of something other than your job and Mark. 

You made your way outside, and Felix stepped out from the driver’s seat, hands folded behind his back nervously. You locked up behind you and carefully started toward the car, Felix jogging up to meet you halfway. 

“Wow…” he said, staring at you in wonder. 

You chuckled, feeling a blush rise in your cheeks. 

“You look…” he started, losing track of his words as his eyes locked with yours. 

He brought two fingers up to his neck, discreetly checking for a pulse as you smiled at him. It was a habit he’d done since he was young- an even cuter one considering he always thought you’d never noticed.

“You look very pretty,” he finished, a twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. 

“Thanks,” you replied. “You look very handsome.”

Felix checked for a pulse again, playing it off as an itch on the crook of his neck. 

“Ready?” you asked as he stood in silence. 

“Yeah,” Felix replied, trying his best to snap out of the trance he was in. 

The two of you made your way to the car, Felix holding the door for you, and sat quietly for a moment while he confirmed the address on his phone. 

“Where are we going?” You asked. He only smiled at you. 

“It’s a surprise.”

Once he started the GPS, the two of you chatted the whole drive, exchanging stories about your families and friends. Felix told you about his sister’s graduation party, and that he would have the place to himself for a few days. Doing his best to slip in a casual invitation for you to spend the night. (Platonically, of course.)

You told him all about what your own graduation was like- down to the hangover you had after clubbing for 13 hours straight. Felix couldn’t help but wonder where Mark fit into your story. 

The drive was much like they used to be. Aside from the steamy moments you used to share, conversations were always the most fun part about being around Felix. He always had something new to tell you, little tales that kept you on your feet and drew you even closer to him. It seemed that after five long years, you could finally reciprocate with your own fascinating anecdotes. 

Before you knew it, the two of you had arrived at a hotel, finding a parking spot in the garage below. You stepped out and looked around, wrapping your arms around yourself and inhaling the cool breeze. 

“Cold?” Felix asked, and you shook your head. 

“Feels nice, actually.”

You linked arms with him as he led you into the building and to the elevator, where another elegant looking man pressed the up button for the two of you. A little bell chime indicated it was at your level, the double doors opening slowly in front of you. Felix ushered you in first, following carefully behind you and pressing the silver circle marked ‘R’. 

As the elevator began, it jerked with force, causing you to gasp and grip the bar to the left of you. Felix moved closer to you, placing a gentle hand on your waist as the ride continued. You felt goosebumps form on your skin at his touch, remembering all too well how it had felt back then. It still made your heart race. 

When you arrived, the double doors slid open again, and you gasped at the view in front of you. It was a rooftop restaurant overlooking the city, thousands of little buildings below you glowing like stars in the night sky. The tables were neatly lined with white tablecloths and candles. And the best part? The rooftop was empty, aside from a waiter who politely gestured to the table nearest the ledge. You bowed graciously as he led the way and poured you both a glass of champagne, placing two menus on the table before he left. 

As you stared awestruck at the skyline, Felix’s gaze remained locked on your gentle expression. His heart raced watching you smile, eyes twinkling with reflections of the city he called home. 

“Do you like it?” He asked.

“Like it?” You repeated. “Felix, it’s so beautiful up here... How’d you even find this place?” You turned to look at him and he glanced down nervously at the menu, feeling his heart might burst with affection.

“Heard of it through a friend.”

He wasn’t going to tell you the truth of course- that he spent nearly two hours of his day in the backseat of his parents’ van googling romantic dinner locations in the city. Calling up 14 in total for a last minute reservation, eventually convincing his manager to have them clear the reservation list so you’d have the privacy you deserved. Which he paid extra for- along with the private parking spot, a table closest to the ledge, and the specialty request champagne. 

“Raspberries?” You said curiously, taking a sip of the sparkling beverage. A raspberry champagne cocktail on ice- a recipe Felix found online and personally requested. 

“Wow, you have to try the champagne,” you told Felix, eyes glimmering at the heavenly flavor. He knew you’d like it.

When the waiter came back to your table, Felix ordered you both a mutual favorite of chicken risotto, handing your menus to the waiter and turning back to you with a shy smile. 

“What?” You asked playfully. 

He giggled. “Nothing. It’s just nice to be here with you.”

You nodded, taking another sip of champagne. Of course, memories of your day with Mark still plagued your mind. You didn’t want to give Felix the wrong idea considering you were still going through a rough patch, unsure of what the future even held for the two of you. Keep it casual, you reminded yourself. 

“It is nice,” you said. “I needed an outing like this with my best friend.”

Felix’s smile faded a little, reaching for his own glass of champagne and taking a big sip. He cleared his throat, his coughing getting louder as he set the glass down. 

“Are you okay?” You asked. 

He nodded with flushed cheeks and watery eyes. “Raspberry. Got stuck in my throat.”

You slid him a napkin and he wiped his mouth of the pink residue, turning away to not embarrass himself further.

“Do you want me to get you a glass of water?” You asked with concern in your voice. 

“I’ll do it,” he said quickly, standing up from the table. I’m doing so, he bumped his knee on the edge, knocking his glass over and staining the white tablecloth. 

“Fuck,” Felix said angrily. “Shit.”

You placed the glass upright again. “It’s okay, we can just remove the tablecloth.” You glanced around the rooftop for the waiter who’d been away at the kitchen. 

Felix piled the cutlery with shaky hands, dropping a fork with a loud clang as he scrambled to remove the tablecloth. You noticed his shakiness and reached out to place a hand gently over his own. He stopped to look at you with wide eyes. 

“Felix,” you said. “Breathe.”

He took a deep breath and blinked a few times at you. 

“Sorry,” Felix said, embarrassment evident in his voice. “It’s been a while since…” his voice trailed off, knowing he wasn’t allowed to refer to this as a date. 

“It’s okay,” you said. “It’s just me.”

Just you, Felix thought. Just the woman he’d been fawning over for years. Just the woman he hadn’t forgotten once in the span of his new life. The woman he looked for in everyone, in everything. The woman he couldn’t form sentences around or stop stumbling over himself.

“Just you” was the problem. 

Felix sat down across from you again, and the waiter returned with your food, placing it on the bare wooden table with a questioning look. Felix sheepishly handed him the strained tablecloth. 

Felix’s nervousness had always been charming to you. You couldn’t help but smile at the way he’d display those same mannerisms from years ago, desperate to look “cool”, and being anything but in the process. 

“What?” Felix asked you this time, cutting into his chicken. 

“Nothing,” you said. “I think it’s better without the tablecloth anyway.”

He huffed out a laugh. “It was a little overkill.”

“Oh, definitely. In fact, they should’ve swapped our table for one of those plastic outdoor ones. Those are peak fine dining. Or maybe those cheeseburger stools from McDonald’s? Now that would’ve been impressive.”

Felix laughed loudly, and you joined him, watching as his shoulders relaxed with every movement. 

As the night progressed, Felix seemed a lot more comfortable, finally coming around to the idea of having dinner with his best friend- nothing more. Memories of Mark tainted your mind when the night fell silent, and the images of him were still burned into Felix’s mind. But you both embraced the night with open arms, like you were the only two who existed in this timeline- the way it was when you were just kids. 

At the end of the night, you got up to get a better look at the view. Felix followed, snapping a few photos and dragging you into one for a selfie in front of the skyline. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself, admiring the way everything looked so small from up here. So insignificant, so fleeting. Like your life was a city, and every building was just a small part of it, no matter how big it seemed from down there. 

“See there?” You said, pointing at the south side. “That’s where my apartment is.”

Felix looked out, squinting at the horizon. 

“And there,” you said, pointing in another direction. “Is where my university was.”

From the corner of your eye, you could tell Felix wasn’t looking at the skyline anymore. He had his gaze locked on you, carefully observing the way your hair flowed in the gentle night time breeze. Two fingers worked their way up to check his pulse again- still breathing. 

You didn’t look back at him. Instead, you studied the way the city seemed to change by the minute. Planes with flashing lights flickering in thick fog, cars that drove by in the blink of an eye. Offices still with their lights on, apartments and houses already asleep for the night. It was all so changing- so uncertain. You could take pictures just seconds apart and it’d be the same place, but never the exact same moment in time.

“Want to get going?” You asked, still aware of his eyes on you. 

“Yeah,” Felix said quietly. He wasn’t sure what he’d been hoping for, but he felt briefly disappointed. 

You finally turned to him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and smiling at him. “Come on then.”

Felix led you down the stairs to the elevator, where you both entered, and he pushed a silver circle marked 17.

You cocked your head in confusion. “Isn’t it the garage level?”

A knowing smile met your confused expression. “I booked us a room for the night.”

It was the last of Felix’s surprises- one he knew you’d be excited about. Similarly, one he hoped wouldn’t overstep his boundaries. Fancy hotel rooms were something the two of you only dreamt of in the past, joking about how you’d order one of everything from room service and sleep in everyday till noon. Along with a list of other things you always wanted to try, but he knew very well that was no longer a part of the plan. He didn’t mind, simply wanting to spend a night by your side in a room that wasn’t your childhood bedroom. Now that he could afford it, he’d make sure you experienced everything you once wanted to. 

“Felix…” you began. “This is too much.”

He shook his head nonchalantly. “It’s a little day trip. You don’t work tomorrow and my family’s out for the weekend. Might as well stay while we’re here.”

The elevator stopped at your floor and you got off, following his strut down the hall as he found your room. He pulled a white card out from the pocket of his suit, scanning it and pushing the door open with ease. 

“Come on,” he said, gesturing for you to follow him. 

The sweet scent of vanilla and sandalwood filled the room all around you in an instant. You gasped at the sight of tall clear windows that overlooked the same skyline view you had at dinner. Two massive beds occupied the middle of the room that connected to a single bathroom.

“What about our stuff?” You said suddenly, unable to imagine sleeping in this gown. 

“The staff’s already on their way up with our bags. You don’t have to worry about that.”

 Felix sat on the edge of the bed, arms rested behind him. You made your way over to him, sitting opposite him on your own bed, unable to speak. 

“I… I don’t even know what to say.”

He chuckled. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to do something fun for my best friend.”

“Thank you,” you said. “Seriously- thank you. This has been the best surprise after such a… shitty week. I really needed this.”

“I’m glad,” Felix replied. “That was my plan.” He laid back on the white duvet, spreading his limbs out along the surface. “Now can we please order some dessert from room service?”

*

“We wanna talk about sex but we’re not allowed” 

“Solid 6/10.” 

“What?” You replied. “No way.”

“Way,” Felix replied. “The vanilla tastes… bitter.”

“Bitter? Are we eating the same thing?”

“Crème brûlée. Bitter crème brûlée.” He remarked. 

You laughed, setting down your fork. 

“Okay, last one.” You lifted the silver dome cover off the last plate, revealing a single slice of cheesecake. 

“Now this one I’m judging harshly,” Felix said. 

“You judged all of them harshly!” You said jokingly.

“Touché.”

“Ready? One, two, three…” you popped a forkful in your mouth, chewing for a moment before nodding. “That’s the single best slice of cheesecake I’ve ever had.”

“No way,” Felix said. 

“Way,” you replied.

You handed the fork back to Felix, who took a bite of his own, thinking it over for a second. “8/10.”

“What! You’re just being cocky now.”

“Mine is better! You can’t deny that.”

“Mmm I’m not so sure.”

In a fit of laughter, you laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and shutting your eyes briefly. “I can’t believe we’re here.” 

You turned your head to face the view again, speckles of city lights gleaming from beyond the tall glass windows. 

“It’s something, huh?” Felix said. 

“Mhmm. This was one of our bucket list items from that summer.”

Felix felt his heartbeat quicken, surprised you brought up the topic of that summer at all. He’d wanted to talk about it for so long, not being able to with your new established dynamic. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I remember.”

“What’d we plan again? Dessert from the room service menu, steal the amenities? Sleep on silk sheets?”

He looked at you nervously, waiting for you to say it. Something- anything at all to prove you remembered. 

Have sex in the jacuzzi, Felix thought to himself. Fuck on the balcony. Do it in the middle of the night and try not to wake the neighboring rooms. 

“Yeah,” he settled on replying. “Think you got everything.”

You sat up again, making your way over to your suitcase and digging out your toothbrush out from the pile of clothes. “Gonna brush,” you said. 

Felix followed, sharing the sink space with you as you brushed your teeth in front of the large mirror. 

He wore a simple white shirt and blue flannel pants, you much more exposed in white cotton shorts and a tank top. Felix’s eyes darted briefly to your body and then back at your reflection in the mirror, and you suddenly felt much more aware of your appearance. 

When you finished, you crawled under the duvet again and enveloped yourself in the thick white sheets. You turned to face Felix, who climbed into his own bed across from you. 

“Thank you,” you said to him again. “For tonight.”

Felix nodded nervously. “You deserve it.”

And sleep washed over you quickly. 

*

“So how should I begin this? I guess it started when you were with him”

Felix hadn’t slept at all- in fact, he spent a good portion of the night facing you and letting the steady sound of your breathing fill the room. Rather he couldn’t sleep, unable to contain the growing bulge in his pants at the sight of your figure. 

He felt like such a loser again, his mind going back to summer when you made all those plans for a hotel room. And yet here he was, sleeping a few feet away from you in his own bed, having unholy thoughts about someone with a boyfriend. It was an unprecedented level of pathetic he felt. 

Trying his best not to wake you, he slipped out from the covers, tip-toeing his way to the bathroom. At least he could get some relief in there and maybe get some shut-eye. 

But his efforts were futile, waking you up as soon as he took the first steps toward you.

“Felix?” You called out. 

“Sorry,” he responded quickly, awkwardly bending over to hide his crotch. “I couldn’t sleep. Was gonna get a drink of water.”

You smiled sympathetically, patting the bed next to you. “Get in,” you said politely. He panicked. 

You’d surely find out about the ongoing incident if he complied. But selfishly, he wanted to, hoping that being closer to you would help it die down. A dense thought process, that’s for sure. 

So he obeyed, pulling his t-shirt down and slipping under the sheets so fast you couldn’t possibly have noticed in this darkness. You turned to face him, finally being able to see his face at this proximity. And for a minute, the two of you said nothing, gazing at each other under the dim glow of the city lights outside. 

You can’t remember who initiated it first, thinking it might’ve very well been you, who scooted closer and kissed him. 

Felix shut his eyes instinctively, like he knew this was going to happen. But the fact was, he didn’t. His heartbeat raced at a concerning speed now, head dizzy with thoughts. Still, he said nothing. Asked nothing. He just stayed there, kissing you back like his life depended on it. 

A tender hand found its way to your cheek, where he brushed a strand of your hair aside to place little kisses along your face. In doing so, he moved even closer, accidentally brushing his waist against your thigh. 

“Fuck,” Felix said while pulling away. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

He was rock hard now, head spinning with the reminder of how you tasted and breathed against him like this. 

You hoisted yourself up, looking down at his fearful expression. But you didn’t say anything in response, instead leaning down to kiss him again. His kisses were more desperate this time, little moans escaping into your mouth as you ran your tongue along his bottom lip. You pulled away again for a breath, and Felix panicked thinking you might leave or stop. 

This time however, you climbed over his delicate frame, straddling his waist as he sat up and rested his back against the headboard. His crotch pressed against you eagerly, but you stayed there for an excruciating few minutes, running a hand over his chest and into his blonde locks. 

“Blonde…” you said in an amused tone.

You traced his freckles with a single finger, sliding down to graze over the slope of his nose and then over his plump, needy lips. 

“Please…” Felix whispered as you leaned in to kiss him. “Please,” he said again between soft kisses. “Please, please, please…” 

His usually deep voice was much higher in pitch when he was this needy, and you’d never heard it this way before. 

“Mmm. Please what?” You said against his wet lips. He hesitated for a moment. 

“Please… use me…” he said shyly, a twinge of desperation as his breath hitched in his throat. His hips rocked gently against yours, reluctant hands finding their way down to your waist. 

The friction made you moan softly against him, and it was your turn to kiss him with longing. You wasted no more time reaching a hand between the two of you to pull off his pants as he slid your shorts down. You wrapped your legs around his torso in just your panties, clothed cock pressed firmly against your growing wetness, and he groaned in frustration. 

“Fuck…” he breathed out. “Don’t move or I might finish.”

You smiled between gentle kisses to his collarbones. Knowing he wasn’t exaggerating about finishing prematurely, you finally pulled his boxers down, wrapping one hand around his length and moving up and down. 

“Ah…” Felix struggled against your touch. 

“What’s wrong?” You cooed sweetly. “Gonna finish?”

He nodded with his eyes squeezed shut tightly. 

“That’s okay,” you said with a smile. “You can cum if you want to.” 

“I don’t… ah…” 

And with a scrunched nose, he found his release, making a mess all over his stomach between you. 

“Fuck,” Felix said. “I didn’t want to finish yet. Sorry.” His eyes were teary and spaced out as he caught his breath. 

You circled the strings of liquid with your index finger, dipping into his navel to gather some on the tips of your fingers. 

“That’s okay,” you said calmly, bending down to kiss him again. “I didn’t say I was done using you.”

Felix swallowed nervously, trying his best to hold back the inevitable tears. 

“You okay to give me one more?” You said, sliding your hand down between your legs to play with yourself. You circled your clit with his cum, gasping in pleasure at the warm sensation. 

Tears fell from his face as he nodded and waited for your instruction. 

“Good,” you said, kissing away his tears as you continued to touch yourself. “Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

Felix nodded nervously, watching intently as you finally removed your panties and spread further to take all of him. With gentle movements, you wrapped your arms around his neck, positioning over him and sliding down ever so slowly. His hands gripped your waist as he helped fill you up. 

It was a sensation Felix hadn’t been prepared for. He winced at the overstimulation, trying his best to remain semi-hard so you’d have a chance to finish. But the feeling of you gently bouncing on his cock made him cry even more, desperate to help you find your release and to hear you shower him with praise. 

“Doing so good,” you told him between breathless movements. “Kiss me.”

He obeyed, planting sloppy tear-stained kisses on your mouth as you used him for your own pleasure. He pulled away again, mouth finding its way to your breasts, where he kissed and sucked your nipples with fondness. 

And between his fervent kisses in the valley of your breasts, you found your own release, clutching his shoulders as you trembled and dribbled cum all over his length. 

You slid off of him with ease and back onto the bed, where you both took a minute to catch your breath. Felix was unsure of what to say, and you could hardly form a sentence. 

Instead you got dressed again and sat up to go to the bathroom. “Gonna get cleaned up,” you said simply. 

As you stood, Felix gripped your wrist, pulling you toward him again. “Don’t leave,” he said in a frightened tone. 

“I just need tissues,” you explained. 

“Don’t leave,” he said again, tears trickling down his face. 

“Felix, I’m just-”

“I’m in love with you,” Felix blurted out. 

Your heart raced and you took a deep breath. You stood between his legs observing the way he now let out dramatic sobs as he began to speak. 

“I’m so fucking in love with you and I can’t help it. I’ve always loved you. Ever since we were kids. You can hold me and comfort me until I stop crying but it’s not gonna change the fact that I’m crying because I love you.”

You reached a hand up, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. He continued talking as he cried, the stream of consciousness giving him the confidence he’d always yearned to utilize. 

“I tried. I tried for so long with other girls, with other people. It was never the same. I thought there was something wrong with me because I’d cry so much whenever I was with you. And it never happened with anyone else. It took me years and some stupid hookups before I realized it was because I was always in love with you. 

That’s why I came back. You make me feel so damn safe all the time. I can’t taste Oreo mcflurries or raspberry chapstick without thinking of you first. I would’ve still been in love with you if you kept ignoring me. I’m still in love with you even though you have him. And I don’t know what we’re doing, but I do know that I’m in love with you. Back then, and now, and in five years time.”

He hung his head in shame, crying like a guilty child, and you towered over him in silence. He’d never felt so vulnerable before, crying in front of the girl he loved in complete nudity. 

Part of you knew this was coming- there was no denying Felix hadn’t been the most inconspicuous about his romantic feelings toward you since returning. But you couldn’t find the words to say to him, knowing anything you could say right now was only going to hurt him. You and Mark weren’t technically broken up yet, and your heart largely remained there still. You and Felix also led two completely different lives- yours, a monotonous adult routine, and his, riddled with fame and splendor. It was never going to work the way he wanted it to. This was all a fleeting thing like it had been back then- this wasn’t reality. 

“Please say something,” Felix pleaded.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “We shouldn’t have done this.”

He looked up at you through tears, hardly making out the expression on your face as the room blurred around him. And with a simple nod, he understood. You were not in love with Felix. 

With a gentle release of your wrists, he allowed you to get cleaned up, crying in front of the bathroom mirror as you rid yourself of his traces. When you returned, Felix was back in his own bed, lying on his side away from you.

Not so much as a sniffle was heard as you turned out the light again, falling asleep to his words replaying in your head like a broken record. 

*

“Did he ever make you cum? Did he ever make you cry?”

You were up early that morning, quick to shower last night’s mistake off your aching body. Felix stayed in bed facing the window, forcing himself to keep his eyes shut though he wasn’t asleep. His eyes could hardly pry themselves open anyway, now swollen and red from all the crying he’d done. 

When you finished getting dressed, you sat on the edge of your bed, staring out at the view in the daytime. The city was completely different at this time of day. People looked like little ants from this high up, and you followed their paths as they navigated the world below. Into stores, apartment buildings, even meeting for coffee. It was so human- so unpredictable where the next little ant would find themselves. So uncertain. 

You heard Felix shuffle about in bed, and you decided to go check on him for the first time, holding your breath as you made your way to his side. 

“Felix,” you said timidly. “You should eat something.”

He kept his eyes shut, furrowing his brows into a frown as he felt your hand run through his hair. 

“Not hungry,” he said in a raspy voice. 

“Come on,” you replied. “Checkout’s at 11. We’ve only got two hours to enjoy this view before we have to leave.”

Felix fluttered one eye open, looking at you for the first time since last night. His heart pained him all over again. Your hair was still damp from your shower, face free of makeup and the lingering scent of peaches on your skin. 

He exhaled through his nose, eyes wandering past you and zoning out. 

And then with some hesitation, you crawled into the unmade bed beside him, slipping under the covers and wrapping an arm around him the way you always used to. You held him like that for a minute, rubbing his arm soothingly and playing with the back of his hair. 

Felix couldn’t feel excited about any of it, too heartbroken to feel anything but sorrow in your arms now. Tears brimmed his eyes again as you lulled him into another wave of sleepiness. 

“Do you love him?” Felix broke the silence suddenly. You swallowed, finally choosing to be honest with him. It was the least you could do while he grieved. 

“Yeah. I do.”

“Does he… satisfy you?” Felix asked. You were taken aback at the question, and Felix was shocked that he brought it up. But he needed closure right now. He needed answers to the questions he’d been overthinking all week. 

“Mhm.”

He thought for a second. “Does he ever make you cry?”

It was your turn to think for a minute. “Sometimes. When we fight, I guess. It’s not often, though.”

Felix shut his eyes again, wanting to ask more questions, but feeling too tired and anguished. You continued massaging his arm, feeling his tension loosen in your touch. 

“Go back to sleep,” you said finally. “I’ll wake you when it’s time to check out.”

And he did, dozing off properly in your tender embrace.

*

When you parted ways that day, Felix knew very well he might never see you again. 

He’d messed things up by confessing how he felt, only to be met with what he’d feared all along- you were indeed in love with Mark. There was never a chance that the two of you would work out. Still, the truth pained him. The dull ache in his chest was made worse by the way you cared for him, giving his hand a little squeeze in the car and rubbing his back when he pulled you in for one last hug. He knew you were just trying to make him feel better. But deep down he was angry- at himself for not staying, at Mark for being able to call you his, even at you for being intimate with him last night. He didn’t regret it, but he did wish it ended the way he’d hoped it to. 

On the drive home, Felix had the realization that things were now different. His feelings were out there in the open, and you were free to do whatever you wanted with them. Regardless of how you felt, it meant things between you were going to change. 

He was no longer welcome to sneak into your room late at night- even as friends. He couldn’t bake you little surprises or text you at random times throughout the day. And the idea of ever kissing you again was just a distant daydream, so far out of reach it seemed like something that had never occurred in the first place. 

He wondered how you felt about the situation. And he wondered if you knew how terribly he regretted it. In an alternate universe, Felix had just let you go get cleaned up and cuddled you to sleep, pushing away the idea that you had cheated on your partner. It would have been a fleeting thing like it had always been. Like it was always supposed to be. A lingering thought made Felix consider calling you up to ask why you’d cheated on Mark if you loved him, but that would involve talking to you. 

What he didn’t know, of course, is that you weren’t in love with Mark anymore. 

*

“I hope we’re still friends, yeah I hope you don’t mind”

Standing in the living room you two shared, Mark wrapped up the last of his boxes with tape and looked over at you. The room had never felt this empty without his video game consoles or his sneakers lying around carelessly. 

“If I forget anything I’ll come by to pick it up later this week,” he said. “But that’s the most of it.”

You wiped a few stray tears. “Where are you going again?”

“I told you,” Mark said, sitting on the couch next to you and resting a hand on your thigh. “Couple friends have a room for rent just an hour from here. It’s safe. I don’t want you to worry.”

He reached up to wipe a tear with his thumb lovingly. You missed these moments- sitting on the couch together like this, only now they were tainted with heartbreak and mourning what once was. 

“Is she going to be there?” You asked after a moment. 

Mark looked down, and then back up at your face. “Do you remember when I had blue hair?” He asked suddenly. 

“What?”

“The blue hair. Arctic fresh, like you used to call it.”

You chuckled a little. That term had slipped your mind after graduation. 

“Yeah. I remember.”

“And you used to sit in the library all day.”

“Until you started stalking me.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t love it!” Mark retorted. The two of you laughed for a bit, and you almost forgot you were sad in the first place. 

“I didn’t know when you were gonna be there,” Mark continued. “I had no clue how to approach you. Hell, I didn't even know what kind of person you were gonna be.”

You listened to him as gestured with his hands. 

“That uncertainty- there was something so fun about it.”

There was that word again- one that had been on your mind lately. A lot of things felt uncertain as of right now. 

“Remember when we didn’t have a mattress?”

You shook your head. “God. Don’t remind me.” Mark laughed in response.

“We used jackets as blankets! It was fun though, wasn’t it? We thought we’d never finish furnishing the place. I kinda loved not knowing what it was going to look like yet.”

You pondered his words carefully. There was a lot of truth in them- the months you spent sleeping on the floor and eating microwave pizzas together for dinner were some of your most memorable times. You only got through it because you had hope that the future would make up for those nights. 

“You seemed happier too,” Mark said. “And I want you to be that happy all the time. I don’t want you to be scared of the future.”

You began to cry again, trembling as Mark pulled you in for a hug. 

“I don’t know how to do this without you,” you said. “This… routine. Being an adult.”

“You’ve always known how,” Mark said. “You just have to go live it. Don’t let yourself get stuck at a computer all day. Don’t let the only time you leave the house be to get coffee creamer at night.”

You smiled at him sheepishly. 

“I’m learning too,” Mark said. “I kinda want to get out of this city. Get a new job.”

You nodded. 

“And I want you to do some badass things,” he said, poking your knee and making you smile. “I want to hear all about them. But you gotta do them first!”

With a gentle sigh, you nodded again. 

Mark twiddled his fingers for a moment. 

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

“What?” You said, head snapping up to look at him. 

“Dude from the band.”

Your heart sped up, unsure of what to say. 

“I tried your parents’ house a few days ago. Two of you were headed out somewhere. Can’t believe I even recognized him, but I pieced it together.”

“Why… I mean-”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said with a reassuring shake of his head. “I want you to be happy. I wasn’t the most honest with you, either.”

After a pause, you took Mark’s hand in yours. “I’m sorry,” you said. “And I love you. And I’ll never stop loving you. Whether we’re together or not.”

He nodded at your words. “I know. And I’m sorry. I’m never out of reach- you know where to find me.”

Mark pulled you in for one last hug, crying softly into your shoulder. “Go find that happiness again,” he said. “I’ll always be here.”

After helping move his boxes to the car and exchanging your final goodbyes, you returned to the apartment, clutching the keys in hand like you did the very first time you got them.

The apartment felt quiet, yet strangely comfortable. You’d never seen so many sunbeams shine through the windows like this before- illuminating the empty corners with a hopeful glow. Despite the vacant areas, the apartment felt eerily beautiful like this. You caressed the drywall with a tender hand, thinking briefly about the potential this place always had. There were so many new spots for paintings and photos. So many opportunities to decorate again. So much to look forward to. 

*

“Swear we were only being honest”

Mark’s departure made a lot of things clear for you. You thought about what he said for days after adjusting to the empty apartment- about chasing happiness and learning to embrace the uncertainty you were always so afraid of. 

He was right. You had become a shell of the woman you once were, only existing to do work and repeat the routine that tricked you into believing it was the epitome of life itself. But it never had been- it was you who made it that way. 

Looking out your window at the empty street late at night, the only noise you could hear was the dull buzz of cicadas that stalked the tall grass.

You returned to your parents’ house for one last night to collect your things and say your goodbyes to your parents. Everything looked the same as it always did on nights like this- cars parked neatly in their spots, houses with their lights off, and neatly trimmed bushes swaying gently in the summer breeze. Your hands trembled as you climbed out the window, dressed for the weather in a light sweater and a pair of shorts. 

As you jogged out to the street, you paused to look up at the vast sky above you. The sky had never seen you this late at night like this, out in the middle of the street with such purpose. You were normally curled up with a book at this late hour.  Yet you greeted it with excitement and curiosity, laughing up at the constellations as you planted two feet in the concrete below you. 

After admiring the scenery at this time, you were on your way again, racing like a child down the block. You passed the houses you had always known, appreciating the way they were a steady part of your life for this long. You turned the corner with such vigor, you thought you might fall if you didn’t slow down. But you didn’t- you ran and ran, and you didn’t stop. 

Felix’s house was a mere three blocks from yours, yet you’d never visited in the middle of the night like this. It has always been him to initiate it. He was the risk-taker, the troublemaker, a fact you forced yourself to challenge after your conversation with Mark. 

When you arrived, you looked up at his house, unsure of what to do for a moment. You weren’t entirely sure which room was his anymore. 

So you pulled out your phone, dialing him before you could stop to overthink it. Felix answered on the second ring.

“Hi,” you breathed. 

He paused for a moment. 

“Are you… okay?”

“I’m fine,” you replied. “Could you open the window?”

“What?”

“The window. I can’t remember which one is yours- God your grass is tall. There aren't any spiders here, right?”

Before you could finish, the curtains drew back in front of the window closest to you, and Felix stood there with his cellphone pressed to his ear. He observed the way you scratched at an itch on your ankle, finally looking up to meet his gaze and giving him a little wave. 

“Aren’t you cold?” He asked, dropping his phone down at his side as you walked over. 

“Not a bit. It’s actually kinda nice out.”

He helped you climb in, and you looked around the room with wonder in your eyes. 

“Wow. I haven’t been here since we were kids.” 

The walls were lined with old photos of him, neatly arrayed in white picture frames. There was a large desk opposite his bed with old taekwondo medals hanging directly above. And his bed was neatly made, except for one corner from which Felix had untucked himself from. 

“What are you doing here?” Felix asked with hesitation. His voice was tinged with sadness still. 

You set a paper bag down on the desk, turning to face him. “Little something from me.”

Felix looked at the bag and then at you again. You eyed him for a moment, noticing his unkempt hair and the subtle bags under his eyes. His blonde locks were pushed out of his face, framing his expression of sorrow. He wore a plain black t-shirt and sweatpants, much simpler than you’d seen him dressed on other days, yet he somehow still looked so sophisticated. 

With reluctance in his step, he unfolded the bag, reaching inside to pull out a small Oreo McFlurry and a carton of fries. He examined the cup, setting it down again and avoiding eye contact. 

“I told you I don’t get these anymore.” 

“No,” you said. “You said you couldn’t get them because they brought back memories.”

He shrugged. “Yeah. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is that I’m here now. And you don’t have to stop doing all your favorite things because they bring back memories.”

“You don’t get it,” he said, sighing again. “Please don’t make me say it again.”

You hid your hands in the sleeves of your sweater, eyes trembling with fear as you began to speak. Breaking down your walls around other people was always a difficult feat for you. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” you told him. “Just please listen to me and then I’ll get out of here.”

Felix sat on the edge of the bed with his hands on his knees.

“Felix- you and I live completely different lives. You left before my life even started. Most of what I know about you I had to learn through google searches. You wake up in different countries 6 out of 7 days in the week. You know what you want, and every single day is different for you.”

“You googled me?” Felix said. You ignored his question as you continued to speak. 

“You have to understand that this never would have worked out between us.”

He hung his head and wiped a few stray tears with the back of his hand. “I kind of figured it wasn’t going to work out. You didn’t have to come here to tell me again.”

“I came here,” you interrupted him. “Because I’m in love with you.”

His head snapped up this time, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion as you continued to speak through tears. 

“And it scares the hell out of me. We’re two different people in two completely different worlds, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s always been you. And it’s always going to be you. There’s no one else I’d rather get McDonald’s with at 3 in the morning. Or stain fancy tablecloths with. I love it when you do that thing where you check your pulse when you get nervous. Or when you bake me little desserts, even though I never ask you to. And I love wiping your tears after we get intimate, because I hate seeing you sad and I’d spend a lifetime wiping your tears if it meant I could be by your side.”

The room fell quiet as you finished. Felix looked up with an expression of sorrow and shock. His eyes welled with tears as he sniffled and gave you one short nod. 

“How about Mark?”

You smiled and shrugged. “Sometimes love has other plans.”

And Felix smiled for the first time tonight, stretching out both arms toward you, which you wasted no time running into. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap and holding you for a moment as you both laughed through sniffles. 

As he pulled away to look into your eyes, his thumbs wiped your tears away delicately, caressing your face in a gentle embrace. 

“I don’t want to lose you again,” he said suddenly. His expression shifted to that of concern.

“You have me right now,” you said calmly. “And we’ll figure out the rest. I don’t want to get too caught up in worrying about the future.”

He smiled again, moving a strand of hair out of your face as he leaned in to kiss you. His lips tasted like raspberry, moving gently along yours as you smiled against him. 

“What happens now?”

You thought about it for a moment. It was a good question- you hadn’t thought about where the night was going to take you after this conversation. 

“Let’s go out.” 

“Now? It’s almost 2 in the morning.”

“Now. Let’s go anywhere. I just want to be with you.”

Felix ran a hand through your hair as he chuckled. 

“You’re full of surprises tonight.”

You climbed off of him as he walked to the closet and picked out a pair of pants. And you sat watching him eagerly, afraid you might lose him if you looked away for even a second. 

When he turned around again to button his pants, he locked eyes with your tender gaze and smiled. The moonlight glistened through the window onto your skin, little blue patches painting your frame delicately like an oil painting. Your eyes sparkled with longing for him, and he smiled at the way you blinked up at him with such endearment. 

“I love you,” you said suddenly. 

“I love you,” he replied, leaning down to kiss you. “I love you. I love you. I really love you.”

When he finished getting dressed, he took your hand in his, helping you out the window and into the cool summer air. The cicadas and birds were quiet, and the only sounds you could hear came from the trees rustling in the nighttime breeze. Felix towered over you in the dim glow of the streetlights, never once looking away from the twinkle in your eyes as you spoke. And you continued, with no destination in mind, down the streets you had explored so many times as kids together. The same picket fences and concrete roads seemed so much more charming this way- hands interlocked as you stopped every now and then to exchange kisses and share spoonfuls of the now melted Oreo McFlurry. At last, you were home again- all was safe. 

*

“All by yourself, sitting alone”

The loud chime of the overhead speaker caught your attention as you meticulously worked to buckle your seatbelt. All around you, people took their seats too, children squirming with excitement and couples assisting each other with the overhead bins in the aisles. You sat alone, taking in the atmosphere as you prepared for hours of being sat here. 

Thoughts of doubt rushed to your mind as you examined a Korean pamphlet in front of you- was this the right decision? Were you going to be happy? Would you even find work there?

Your throat went dry thinking about the endless possibilities. And then you remembered Mark’s kind words echoing through you- “go chase that happiness”. 

You were never going to know if you didn’t get out there first. Maybe this was where you were always meant to be. 

In between conversations with yourself, your phone buzzed with a new text. You checked it frantically, smiling at the message.

Felix: 🐣

Your heartbeat slowed again, and you took a deep breath as you pushed your negative thoughts aside. You were finally chasing your happiness- Felix was your happiness. And maybe traveling 5,000 miles for the guy you loved seemed crazy, but it felt right. As long as you were by his side, you would face the future together. 

You shot him back a little sunshine emoji before putting your phone away again. And you shut your eyes, grateful for the gentle reminder of why you were doing this. You weren’t certain about much, but you were certain about Lee Felix. And maybe that was enough.

[not-goldy]

A lot of people think its Jennie's friend with him in the video. She posted pics around the same time with the same hair cut/length. She is also tall. She was confirmed at Jennie's CK launch when JK was and confirmed at Coachella BP concert when JK was. So it could be they are genuine friends, since he was hanging with Tae and they all ran in the same circle.

I'm more interested in the timeline of events around the video. A few days before that video was filmed (according to the leaker date) Jk returned to weverse & it was during the height of Dior/Paris promotions & Vibe promotions when Jimin was at his busiest, about to go into Face promotions. It only took Jk 20 minutes in before he started talking about Jimin & singing Vibe. He said hey I missed y'all, I haven't left the house in 7 days, I'm drinking heavy, I'm in my PJ's, I am unmotivated, I want to be a rock, so about Jimin. Lets talk about Jimin. And comes back a few days later, brings up Jimin again. Then the apartment video was filmed & we know Jk was with Tae in Hawaii some time after that video, cause it was the 20th/21st of Feb he was in Hawaii. After he get backs, you guessed it, he starts another live talking about Jimin & he repeats this pattern til he was alone crying on White Day. White Day is their valentines & they spent it together the year before, this time Jimin was out of town & Jk was alone for four hours live non stop talking about Jimin & their trip and spoiling his upcoming songs & crying. Jimin shows up & next thing you know a few days later JK says he misses Jimin & starts up a 2 hour Jimin live. Clearly whoever it is was in the video with JK didn't take his mind off Jimin, neither did being with Tae & his friends take his mind off Jimin or going out with his 97 line, cause the entire time he kept asking one person over, Jimin. More importantly whoever that is with Jk in the video, is someone JK doesn't see as his GF since he denied having one, then posted a video right after saying I go the other way. So apartment person, Tae & his friends, 97 line, didn't fulfill them needs for JK. If they did & he was really happy he wouldn't have been showing his ass out over Jimin like he was, publicly. Who knows, Jk might've landed his ass in the dog house with JM in chapter 2 and if he did, I can see how easily JK could do that. Either way, Jimin finally got worn down and took the bait and look where we are today. You tried to warn people Jikook be messy in love lol. They should've listened to you.

Oooooh that's interesting

Yea I know Jk and Jennie be friends too

Lmao

For me I just can't see how Jungkook will come on live and do all that he does over Jimin and also have someone else he's intimate with in his private life

How he is with Jimin will always be used as a measure of how much he loves and I feel that will always go against him.

Jimin is the yardstick with which the members gage how much effort Jungkook puts into them.

Any girl or boy in his life would want him doing the same over and beyond for them because each time he back hugs someone the image of him doing the same thing with a boy the internet believes he is whipped for will burn in their brains

And they sure gonna have to talk about the Jimin rumors and I want to be a fly on them walls when all that go down

You know what they say comparison will steal your joy

Good luck to them

[gay4harm]

Who is she?

Pairing: Shuriri x reader

A/N: so I know I said I was doing a fic for shuri but once I started it I could not finish it lol. This will be a series but I don't know how I feel about so we just gonna start with this first chapter and if yall like it then I'll keep writing for it. Enjoy

Shuri knew about Riri's secret life

she knew of her dangerous lifestyle and the team she rolled with

she knew of the young avengers and most of all she knew about you. She knew of your beauty, your determination and the way you carried yourself. She also had heard of what you and Riri had been through.

She knew you two were close and about the kiss you had shared

well, multiple kisses

and how you guys had almost reached third base but Shuri didn't mind.

Riri and Shuri had talked about it

If the opportunity had came up where Riri and you were going to have sex then Shuri wanted Riri to take it

and obviously tell her all about it after.

Riri had never told you about hers and Shuri's relationship when you guys had first started out.

You guys weren't in a relationship and you guys still weren't

But now you and her were starting to get serious and you were starting to fall in love.

Which was your first time

But Riri saw this and she knew it was time for you to meet Shuri and hopefully expand your relationship

So that's how they ended up in this situation

Riri taking Shuri to meet you and her friends; people she had considered family

"Riri are you sure about this? What if they don't like me? What if she isn't open to it? What if-"

"Shuri, baby chill, they gonna love you, I promise." Riri reassures Shuri, she expected her to be a little nervous but she knew you would love her.

Being the leader of the group of misfits you called family was the best thing that could have happened for you.

Well that and Riri

You had never met anyone like her

She was kind and gentle, she cared about you

which you couldn't say for a lot of people

You and Riri had been through a lot, you've fought for her, killed for her and she's done the same for you.

You wanted to take things slow, just so you could make sure it was real. You didn't exactly have a lot of good experiences with people.

You didn't have any family

well actually you kind of did

correction; you had family they just didn't know who you were, just how you had forgot about mostly everything but thankfully your memory was coming back and you were happy, you didn't have any unnecessary drama and things with Riri were great

They were so great that tonight you wanted to tell Riri you loved her

You and everyone else were getting ready to train outside when your favorite person came into few with someone behind her, you recognized her face. The curly hair with shaved sides was familiar, her sharp jawline and charming smile was something you had sworn you had seen, same as the tribal tattoo that was adorned on her hand, you just couldn't put your finger on it.

Riri spoke up as she walked over to everyone

"Yo wassup" Riri exclaimed as she went to dap up Elijah, or better known as Patriot or more like a knock off of Sam Wilsons Captain America. "How you doing Williams, college life treating you right?"

"I guess, you know my professors be on something."

Riri walks around greeting everyone before she got to you last. "Hey ma." She wraps her arms around your figure and you bend your head down to stuff your face in Riri's neck allowing you to smell the lavender and amber she mostly wore.

Her butterfly locs pulled back into a ponytail which showed off her bare face, it was a little chilly in oregon, the place where you had been getting calls about a creature that would visit random towns at the same time in the night and wreck the place, even going as far to hurting a few people and even successfully killed two people.

Riri's cropped puffer jacket made sense, she paired it with a cropped black tee and gray joggers with a chain dangling down her neck, pulling the whole outfit together. She pulled away from you to walk back over to her friend, which is what you had hoped they were.

"Um who's your friend Ri?"

"You seriously don't know who that is?" You looked over to Kamala with a confused look, you had never met nor seen this person, or at least that's what you though. You weren't sure.

"There are sadly a lot of things I don't know."

"That's Shuri Udaka" You slowly shook your head, clueless. "She's the black panther and the queen of Wakanda" You gave an even more confused look. "Oh?"

You turned to Riri as she spoke up"This is Shuri, she's my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend!?" You realized how loud you got and corrected yourself as everyone looked at you. "I-I mean girlfriend? You never told us you had a girlfriend Riri" You looked at her with to many emotion to name.

How could she do this?

String you along as if she didn't have a girlfriend this whole time.

especially with someone as attractive as Shuri and she was a literal queen?

You couldn't believe it

Why would she bring her here?

"I do hope it's ok that I'm here, it's just- Riri talks about you guys all the time and-"

"Oh really? Cause she's never said anything about you." Even though you were talking to Shuri you stared at Riri the whole time. Maybe it was to see if her face would say something her mouth didn't but as you looked her blank expression didn't change.

As Shuri talked you couldn't help but interrupt.

"So Shuri how long are you staying?"

"Oh well I cleared my schedule so I could spend time with Riri and get to know all of you."

"Oh your staying overnight?"

"Well I hope thats not a problem"

"No its just- we kind of have an important mission that I've been working on for about a week, I'm surprised Riri didn't tell you knowing as she did help me on it a bit."

"Oh well I can always help if you guys need it."

"It's not that kind of mission, I worked really hard on it and-"

"Yo Y/N chill she just wanted to help, I'm the one who told her it would be cool" You turn towards Riri and scoff lowly. "That doesn't matter Riri, you can't just call the shots around here, your not the leader of this group." Riri steps closer to you as if you had said something wrong. "Since when has that mattered? It ain't even a big deal."

"But that's just the thing Riri it is a big deal, you can't just decide whether something does or doesn't happen." By now you and Riri were face to face. You had never gotten this upset at Riri but why wouldn't you be, she had lied to you and not only was she in a relationship, she brought her girlfriend to meet you and your guys friends.

Before Riri could say anything else you walked away but not before giving Riri the most dirty stare you could muster.

How could she just play in your face as if all of it meant nothing?

You just need to get your mind off of it.

what better way to get your mind off something than killing a bloodthirsty monster?

A few hours had went by.

You and the team were all ready, Shuri would have to stay in the ship but she said she was fine with it.

You all had just arrived to the last town on your list.

As you and the team rode up, the air was still and everything was quiet, not a soul to be seen.

"We should split up and look around, if you see anything do not engage, just notify everyone on your comms. Alright?" Everyone nods and you all head in your own separate ways.

You walked around, the cold breeze sending a shiver down your spine. There was no one around, it looked like a ghost town.

But why would a creature with cruel intentions go to a place with zero people?

You had spent at least half and hour checking in on everyone, walking around and waiting but nothing happened, you looked at your watch, 7:00 on the dot. The sun was starting to go down and it became colder, you reach to tell everyone it was time to go but before you could the ground shook which didn't make any sense, it didn't feel like an earthquake. It felt as if someone was stomping on the ground.

But who or what would be big enough to do that?

You turn to see a big boulder hurdling in your direction but you moved out the way just in time.

You look around when you see it.

A 10 foot mucky green blob

or at least thats what you thought it was until its arms and head began to take form, the creatures body looked like a man but its head resembled that of a lizard. Its skin was made up of what look like slime and instead of feet it slithered around.

The creature didn't seem to notice you and to keep it that way you slowly backed up and as you did you heard it before you saw it. The sound of a twig being stepped on and the gasp that was awfully loud brought the attention of the slimy beast and as soon as it saw you it lunged forward ready to attack.

You draw out your shiny gold sword but before it reached you the sound of something else ripped through the air

or better yet someone else

Teddy or better known as Hulkling another version of the Hulk yelled out "Hey why don't you pick on someone your own size!?" His shapeshifting really payed off as he grew ten times his size

the creature took this as a challenge and began to shift over to Teddy, it reached into its chest and as it took its hand out, the once dark green color that was its skin was now lighter and it appeared to be glowing, its now neon green slimy hand began to drip down and as it hit the ground the once live green grass turned black and dead, you realized what was about to happen.

Before the slime monster came up to Teddy you yelled out, "Teddy wait don't let it touch you!"

He looked over to you but before the words could process a glob of slime was flung onto Teddys arm as he fell due to the burning sensation, his skin burned and it was evident in the way part of the skin on his arm began to melt off.

His cries and screams tore a hole in your heart as it gained the attention of everyone else.

of course everyone's first instinct was to charge forward but you stopped them. "Wait no! don't touch it!"

"How are we supposed to kill it if we can't touch it?"

"I-I don't know but Teddys hurt we have to get him out of here"

You walk up, hoping you can slip pass it and help teddy but before you can it turns around and without another thought it rushes towards you and you step back but not without tripping on a rock that you could have sworn wasn't there before.

You couldn't even get up before you had heard a voice, it wasn't anything familiar, it was deep and rough, you could hardly make anything out of what it was saying.

You froze, stuck in place as the monster inched closer to you. Its not like you could fight this thing, you didn't want to risk touching it but that wasn't the only reason why you couldn't move.

Its eyes, they were neon green, a light and vibrant color but the only thing in those eyes were pure darkness

It hypnotized you, it felt.... normal or maybe normal wasn't the word more like familiar, like the evilness it carried felt right.... it felt comforting

It was wrong but why did it feel so right?

It spoke, this time more clearly

Y/N L/N, you may think what your doing is good, that your a hero but you'll always be a killer. Its in your blood.

You had completely forgot where you were at, the thing in sight was the creature and its haunting presence, its words ringing in your ears.

That was until the entirety of the monsters essence was now all over you

you look over and you see Kate Bishop lowering her bow, you would assume she's the reason it blew up

It wasn't just you that got splashed, everything and everyone was now covered in sticky slime but at least the monster was gone and it was all over

or so you thought

A/N: Sooo how we feeling? Is it good is it bad? Please lmk cause I already have the story in mind and I really hope y'all loved reading it just as much as I loved writing it.

Feedback is most def appreciated so please let me know how y'all feel.

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - seventy-one | jagiya

“I. DIED. AGAIN.” You shouted into your microphone.

“Ow.” San responded.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I-- I understand the aggression.” San chuckled. “Where did you die?”

“The Blaze pushed me off the bridge and I landed in the lava. All my stuff’s gone.”

“Aww,” San pouted. “Are you back in the town?”

You sighed. “Yeah… I’m back in the town. JGG back in the town like whaddup, comin’ at you like Cleopatru.”

San laughed. 

You sighed and attempted to beatbox sadly.

“Well, I got the Blaze Rods and I’m coming back for you.”

“Should I wait here?”

“Yes, please. Take whatever you want from the chests.”

“I’m always stealing your stuff though… I’m a stealing stealer-- I’m the stealer! Yeah!” You hummed the song into your mic.

He laughed. “You don’t seem too sad, all of a sudden.”

“I’m humming sadly.”

He chuckled. “And anyway, you could never steal from me, I’ll give you anything you want.”

QuackIsWhack✅: Cheesy TheNicestGuy: Is he trying to flirt? JohnnyYuta: UMMMMM HELLO? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: What is that??

“What are you taking?”

“The steel armor.”

“Take the diamond set I enchanted.”

“I can’t take it, it’s yours.”

“Go ahead and take it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh course I’m sure.”

“But I feel bad taking it since it’s diamond--”

“Take the diamond set, Jagiya. Please.”

“Okay.”

JohnnyYuta: JAGIYA??? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: JAGI--?? I💚Keeho: EYE-- StrickenChicken: 👁-- TheNicestGuy: …… UltimateHyung: WHAT. IS. HAPPENING??? LeaBea✅: ????????? SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 MinHoe: HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT NUGS AT A TIME LIKE THIS, SHEEPY SleepySheepy😴: Celebratory nuggets YangYangGangGang: YOU’RE JUST GOING TO HIT US WITH A JAGIYA AND NOT EXPLAIN IT?? JohnnyYuta: QUACK, DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON??? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: I’M FREAKING OUT THEY’RE MY OTP QuackIsWhack✅: No idea 👁 👄 👁 SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 MinHoe: SHEEPY!!!

“Oh-- wait--”

“What?”

“Morn, you just--”

“I what?-- OH! Uh…”

“Uh oh.”

JohnnyYuta: “UH OH”??? MinHoe: “UH OH”??????? LuciPURR✅: FUCKING “UH OH”??? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: UH OH, THEY SAY!! YangYangGangGang: EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!! I💚Keeho: WHAT IS GOING ON????? UltimateHyung: HAS IT FINALLY HAPPENED??? StrickenChicken: HAS OUR LITTLE GIRL FINALLY GROWN UP?? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: I WANTED IT TO BE ME 😭 JohnnyYuta: It’s okay, Tree, it’s okay

“So, uh… I don’t know if you guys know that Morn and I met in real life a little bit before we started streaming together… and he kinda sorta… asked me out after Keeho came back.”

JohnnyYuta: OFFSCREEN DEVELOPMENT??? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: WHAT??? I💚Keeho: QUACK, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS??? QuackIsWhack✅: I HAD NO IDEA!! QuackIsWhack✅: MY BOSS IS KEEPING THINGS FROM ME 😭😭😭 YangYangGangGang: OH MY GOD, CATMOM FINALLY HAS A CATBOY??? There’sARockInMySock: CATBOYFRIEND?? MinHoe: CATHUSBAND?? JohnnyYuta: CATHUSBANDO?? A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: KAWAIIIII

“Did we just get married?” San asked with a laugh.

“It appears my chat has escalated our relationship quite quickly,” you laughed.

LuciPURR✅: DID YOU GUYS FALL IN LOVE WHILE STREAMING??

“Umm, yeah I guess we kind of did... Do you want to respond at all, Morn?”

“I mean… Cat is so funny and kind and wants everyone to have a good time while streaming... It’s impossible not to fall for her.”

LeaBea✅: OMGGGGG I💚Keeho: I’M CRYING, I’M ACTUALLY CRYING JohnnyYuta: YOU CAN’T NOT LOVE OUR GIRL, YOU JUST CAN’T NOT A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: MY HEART A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: DOKI DOKI QuackIsWhack✅: Get you a man who loves the way you stream lol MinHoe: Cat and Morn, sittin’ in a tree! (* ￣3)(ε￣ *) TheNicestGuy: …… YangYangGangGang: I’M GONNA HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK YangYangGangGang: THAT’S THE CUTEST SHIT I EVER HEARD I💚Keeho: FALLING IN LOVE WHILE STREAMING?? I💚Keeho: THE GAMER DREAM

“So uhh… yeah. We’re dating.” You laughed. “It feels so weird to admit that.”

“Why is it weird?”

“I don’t know… most people only have to tell their friends or their coworkers, we have to tell thousands of people.”

“I suppose that’s just the nature of your job.”

“Yeah, I guess. Though, we wouldn’t have to if you didn’t let a ‘Jagiya’ slip.”

San chuckled bashfully. “Sorry. I’m too used to talking to you off stream I guess.”

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: BUT IT WAS CUTEEEE JohnnyYuta: AIGOOOOOO SleepySheepy😴: Nugs for the happy couple SleepySheepy😴: 🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔 MinHoe: K-I-S-S-I-N-G YangYangGangGang: I’m in SUCH shock LeaBea✅: I’m so happy for you both! LuciPURR✅: Are you guys going to make gamer babies?

“Oh my god, guys,” you laughed.

“Only if they’re in Minecraft.”

“Only then?”

A🌲SurroundedBy🌷s: “ONLY THEN”???? JohnnyYuta: ONSCREEN DEVELOPMENT???

“Well I don’t know about the future… Should I say, ‘For now, only if they’re in Minecraft’?”

“Yeah, the first one was too definitive.” You laughed.

“My bad.” San laughed. “Where are you? I thought you said you were in the town?”

“I’m with VirtualByeol. I’m going to convince her to come to my house.”

“Oh wait, if we’re dating, does that mean we should move in together?”

“...Do you mean in Minecraft again?”

“Yeah!” San said excitedly.

You laughed. “We can if you want to. I die significantly less when we’re doing quiet stuff together.”

“Except for when we get raided.”

“Ohh, yeah. Can we build a huge wall around our new house so the raiders can’t get in?”

“I watched a few videos where someone built a village with all Hanok. We could do that and enclose it with a wall.”

“Ohhhh, sounds fancy. Much better than my Mines of Moria house.”

“I don’t understand why you built in a cave since you don’t pay attention to your surroundings,” he laughed.

“It was a good cave!”

“You got exploded by Creepers every two seconds.”

“They don’t even spawn every two seconds, it was like… every five seconds.”

San laughed. “Uh huh.”

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[eddieslov3]

Steddie Smut

Steddie Version of my Cute Little Uniform steve x reader short fic

Eddie makes fun of him in the scoops uniform, steve makes them put it on and fucks him senseless in it.

Sub steve top Eddie filthy smut trans masc Eddie cw: eddies genitals described as Pussy, Dick and cunt probably I can't decide yet lol also oral and p in v, Eddie and Steve are switches I guess

__________________________________________

Eddie had just finished his shift in the cinema and craved ice cream, so that's where he went. Since he had it down really bad for one of the employees it was more than a win win.

Walking out the cinema he subconsciously fixed hair and shirt. More than glad that the cinema let you guys wear whatever as long as it was black and the guys put on the vest that is actually the whole uniform. No problem for the metalhead, his while wardrobe consisted of black shirts.

On the way Eddie encounters loads of know faces, they make a sport out of whispering. "You know, you guys suck at whispering" he says and laughes when he gets called satanist and demon. He flips them the finger and continues to go his way, unbothered.

Some people just fucking suck and Eddie could sing songs about it. He actually does, one of their songs is specifically about stupid idiots. Its also called stupid idiots.

He passes a few gossiping cheerleaders, hearing who apparently was the towns bicycle, he scoffed and rubbed his nose. Soon the scent of freshly made waffles and ice cream comes made his mouth water. Along with something else. Munson, get your head in the game. He shook himself before entering the ice cream parlor.

Scoop's Ahoy was a lovely and well lit place. Looking around you notice the bananas hanging on the doorframe that probably allows the employees to access the break or storage room. From what Eddie had heard and seen it must have been the break room.

The bell in the front rings, making Eddie turn his head to look that way.

Steve's face was stuck in an unamused grin, trying to upkeep the friendliness. But he could tell that Steve needed some help. The group of young girls semmed to be abusing the companion policy of tasting the ice cream before buying. When he saw the Sinclair girl he laughed, he'd played dnd with her a few times. "Hey Nerd" she greeted Eddie.

Quietly he waved at her and she widened her eyes. "Erica I think you we're about to go to claires, they just put up a four for two sign~" Eddie basically sang and smiled widely. Of course she nodded and left the shop with all of her friends.

"Thank you" someone sighedbehind the counter, ruffling his hair smiling at Eddie, clearly relieved. Of course Eddie knew who it was, gazes finally meeting. "She is smart, very smart..and you're too kind sometimes." He fixed his hat and smiled a little forced. That's when Eddie decided to make his day.. well worse or better. And shoot his shot finally.

"You know Harrington that little outfit really brings out your eyes" he cooed, grinning like the brat he loved to be. Especially if that meant getting laid by Steve Harrington. he might even be flirting a little bit, but ofc he'd never admit to that to be honest. He growled lowly. "Don't say that. You know how much I hate the hat." he said trying to fix his hat. "It ruins my best feature." He argued. Just making you smile widely.

"Anyway Harrington, I'd like to order one scoop of chocolate chip" you said, scanning the layout of the different ice cream flavours. "Ah, I'm sorry that was all eaten by those little monsters, you better go for… salted caramel" he suggested, knowing Eddie liked that flavor, as he'd ordered it the last time.

"Okay then that.. I actually love that one a lot." Eddie hated to admit that Harrington was right but.. steve was so handsome that he'd almost forgotten his plan.

His eyes were soft whereas his expression was a little mad. "You're still gonna pay for this.." he murmured while scooping your ball of ice cream flawlessly. Steve handed Eddie the cone and their fingers inevitably touched, sending chills down Eddies spine.

Eddie Munson was no idiot, so he acted like he hadn't heard him, sticking his tongue out at him. "You're gonna regret that" Eddie cooedsweetly winking at Steve.

Since he did work in the mall too, he had no shame in walking behind the counter. He had no shame in general but thats something different. Steve blinked a few times not sure what to say or do, since Eddie walked into the back, exchanging high fives with Robin, who pushed Steve after Eddie, winking.

"You've been in on this?" Steve asked confused and she just shrugged. "I'm a good wimgman" she just said.

"I was always curious where this room led to, not gonna lie" Eddie murmured while looking around.

He looked at the whiteboard with clearly russian words and an alphabet. "That's not important" the taller male said, looking at Eddie smiling a rather wonky smile.

"Sure.." the metalhead said sat down on the couch.

"Woah woah what do you think you're doing here?" Steve interrupted closing the door behind him.

"What does it look like? I'm Just looking around.. I've to said I've been curious what this room was." Eddie seductively licked his ice cream . "Kinda mad you didn't show me before" was what Eddie said before Steve came closer. "I didn't show you, because I didn't want you to see me in this silly uniform" he said. Eddie and Steve we're not dating.. but there definitely was chemistry between the two. It was almost disgusting, at least that's how Robin had described to Eddie a few days before.

His hot breath met Eddies face, making him bite his lip looking slightly up at him, still licking the ice cream seductively slow.

That made him growl again. "What's going on Harrington? Cute little outfit made you swallow your tounge?" he teased again. That's when he had enough. Grinning he pinned Munson to the wall licking his lips. "Well, how bout we put you in it and you decide if its so cute?" He whispered while slowly putting a hand on the others chest before dipping his head down to slowly start kissing him. Finally, Eddie thought. From little pecks to open mouthed kisses the ice cream gets forgotten and falls on the ground, Eddie grabs the others face greedily deepening the kiss with tounge which he gladly allows.

Steve let his hands both swiftly slip under Eddie's shirt, undressing him, leaving his binder on. He knew Eddie would give him access to his chest if he wanted wanted, but also take to his uniform shirt off putting it on Eddie instead.

And obviously Eddie didn't mind, he enjoyed every touch and kiss. It was better than he had ever imagined. Every touch made him whine. Harringtons calloused hands rubbing Eddies nipples, even through the binder, made himmoan. "Nhg~ Steve~ Puppy" Eddie finally moaned, causing him to twitch in his pants. "Say that again.. please" he demanded while going down on his knees unbuttoning Eddies pants slowly, lust in his eyes basically drooling at the sight of the metalhead in his uniform.

"Puppy~" he cooed laying a hand on his cheek softly squishing his face. "Mh- Fuck" he whined while dragging the pants fdown his legs. Eddie was more than ready for him to do anything, and since he seemed to be so greedy for his pussy he grinned. "Mhm yes good Puppy, so greedy for me huh?" T

Eddie asked, seeing him twitch again. By now that boy had a full on boner. Slowly he nodded, looking up at him with his big ouppy eyes. "Want to eat out this dripping pussy ?" He nodded. "Use your words."

"Yes please Sir. I wanna eat that… delicious Pussy of yours and suck on that beautiful dick" he begged while playing with the hem of your underwear. "Beg for it" Eddie fell into a haze, just like he was. Subspace Steve was something so beautiful it made Eddies mouth water, and not only his mouth. He was dripping wet for that handsome man. And in a matter of seconds his underwear pooled at his feet and the brown haired, doe eyed Steve Harrington was looking up at Eddie Munson for approval. He put a Hand in his hair and tug it lightly, making him moan. Fuck was that a beautiful noise.

"Yes?" He asked jumping onto one of the counters spreading his legs, easy access for the other, more comfortable for Eddie aswell. Slowly he stood up, discarding his underwear while licking his beautiful full lips. "Lets move this to the couch" he murmured and manhandled Eddie down from the counter, making Eddie hold onto his shoulders one hand tangled in his mullet.

The way he held Eddie made his tip tease his entrance which made the metalhead whimper. He desperately wanted him buried deep inside, but first wanted to tease him some more. Dipping down intentionally made him moan, Eddie loved that sound. "If you keep doing that I'm gonna cum" he whimpered, setting the smaller man down on the couch before kneeling in front of him. "Please let me suck your cock.. please.. Sir" he begged, eyes still huge.

Looking down at him,Eddie grinned. "Well if you ask nicely I'll think about it" he said while running his hand through his hair, spreading your legs in the process. His gaze fell on your middle, basically drooling. "Please, Sir.. Daddy I wanna taste that pretty pussy.. so pretty and dripping.. just for me" he beggeg putting his hands on your thighs holding your legs open. And that was it. You couldn't wrap your head around it but he was so fucking hot. "Go ahead pretty boy." And with that he dived in, tongue meeting your folds, your juices mixing with saliva and you moaning in pleasure.

Steve Harrington was a natural. He knew his way around bodies, especially Eddies body. "Mh you taste so good Sir" he mumbled into Eddies cunt, looking up at him with his big doe eyes. Lips glistening with Eddies juices and his own saliva. "You're such a good boy for me.. wanna make me cum?" he was eagerly nodding in response. "You want me to suck your dick.. Sir?" he asked while running a hand through his hair.

"Oh puppy, can you do that for me?", again he nodded, dazed eyes. Eddie pulled Steves hair to get him closer to his dick again. "Then make me cum." Yes Sir" he moaned into the others cunt and started sucking Eddies dick. He licked around the base, using his fingers to rub Eddies folds, dipping his fingers in every time. Then he switched. Placing his fingers on his dick, but slowly inserting the tongue in the metalheads hole, making him hold back a scream of pleasure. The curly haired muffled his moans with his own hand, careful not to cause suspicion.

"Fuck Baby.." Eddie then cooed, looking down at him, grabbing the shirt." Fuck . you're so wet.. just for me, Daddy" he moaned dipping his head into Eddies dripping heat again before he also slides his fingers into hus cunt making him squirm. "Just like that Puppy" Eddie said letting go of the shirt lacing both of his hands in his hair. Pulling on it, hard. It's making him wince but moan in unision.

"Fuck Daddy you feel and taste so good" he says, muffled by Eddies throbbing cunt. That sends Eddie over the edge making him release without warning, on his tounge, face and fingers. Eddie, quietly as possible moan his name as he cum.

That just made him lick Eddie faster, helping you riding out your high, before he finally looked up at you. Face covered in Eddies cum, eyes big and expression definitely dazed, Eddies pussy got him so drunk on his lust. "You're so handsome" these words made him stand up and sit down next to him to give you a heated kiss that quickly turned into a makeout.

Neither of them were complaining, they loved it. Besides the sexual tension had build up in the last weeks, Eddie and Steve both could swear their friends even had placed bets on how long it would take.

After a few minutes they broke the kiss for air. "Mhhh" he made, looking at eachother. "I wanna fuck you and take charge." he said grinning. Eddie wasn't complaining about this either, how long had he wanted to be fucking owned and dominated by Steve Harrington himself? Probably for some time now. Nodding he bit his lip, slowly slipping into subspace.

"Okay, Sir" he then said, which made him get into his domspace. "Fuckin good boy" he cooed, running his hand over his still sensitive core, dipping his fingers in. He pumped his fingers a few times before taking them out and putting them into his mouth. "You still taste so fucking good.." he lowly moaned in eddies ear before pulling him up on his lap.

[vilevenom]

New chapter for "Together Burning Bright"! This one is a ~flashback~ chapter. Specifically, Hickory's birthday party, when he and JD got together the first time. This particular scene has been rotating around my brain since I wrote "Let's Be Us Again", but it didn't really fit in the main story, so now you get a +4K word fic of just that, all on its own, lol This chapter is just a touch spicy. It's gonna bump the AO3 rating to 'M', so just an fyi. Nothing is explicitly described, but it's hella obvious as to what they're doing. Enjoy!

A trolls twenty-first birthday was a special one. At least, for the yodelers it was. It was considered a coming of age celebration, and it was when trolls were encouraged to take on more responsibility within the community. It was also when the biggest birthday parties were thrown.

As the community hall was the largest indoor space in the village, it was most commonly used to host such large events, to avoid the cold of the mountain. Flowers adorned nearly every feasible surface, and tables ladened with food were pushed up against the walls. Streamers and twinkle lights hug from the ceiling, while nearly every troll in town was crammed onto the main floor, singing, dancing and carrying on in celebration.

Nearly, being the key word. One troll with teal hair and a distinct pair of green goggles stood to the side with a lazy smile, drink in hand as he watched the party carry on. John Dory had, unfortunately, missed the beginning of the party. He'd been guilted into going, even somewhat late, by the trolls who were hosting his stay in the village. They'd told him it was bad luck for the birthday troll in question for someone to willingly not attend, so he made a little fuss about it but followed along shortly behind them to the party. He'd honestly just wanted to go to bed and sleep, but a party was a party, he supposed. And as a pop troll, he'd been told many times over the years that he should love parties, much to his chagrin.

He idly sipped at his drink as he watched trolls nearly trip over themselves as they swayed across the dance floor. He did have to hand one thing to the yodelers; they made a mean fermented nectar. The cup in his hand was definitely stronger than the strange yeasty concoction the rock trolls had made him try. From said experience, he knew better than to drink too much, or too quickly. He was not keen on a repeat performance, if he was going to be honest with himself.

Truthfully, he was planning on staying just long enough for a majority of the attendees to get a little silly, before slipping back out to the house he was staying at. He'd figured, since he didn't know who the party was even for, and he'd made an appearance to appease his superstitious hosts, that no one would fault him for wanting to get some rest. He'd only managed to get into town the day before, after all.

What John Dory did not expect was for a tall troll to suddenly appear next to him, lean a hand on the wall, and tilt into John's personal space with a little smirk on his face.

~

Hickory hadn't expected anything for his birthday. His parents were long gone, his brother had disappeared on a job of some sort for who knew how long, and he was old enough now that he wasn't even living with anyone who would potentially take notice. So, he'd been more than a little surprised when his friends had offered to host a party for him at the community hall.

It seemed like everyone in town had turned out, bringing food and drink to share. They'd adorned him in a flower crown and accessories made of dried flowers, while everyone wished him a happy birthday and good luck in the coming years. The reveal of the large five tiered cake his friends had baked for him had nearly brought him to tears. He truly felt like he was the luckiest troll in the world.

"Hey, hey! Who's that?"

"Oh. That's the troll staying with us. He's a traveling pop troll. I guess he's been here before, because…"

Hickory let the voices of his friends fade into the background as they prattled on next to him. Scratch his previous thought, now he felt like the luckiest troll in the world. John Dory, the troll he had been crushing on for the last four years, who he'd thought he'd never see again, was leaning against the wall. At his party! A thrill ran up his spine, making his fur practically stand on end.

"I'm going to go talk to him," Hickory stated, pressing his half finished cup idly into the hand of one of his friends.

"What? Why? Wait…No way, Hickory. That can't possibly be the same troll."

"The one I would not stop talking to you about a couple of years ago? It most definitely is," he said with a nod, fussing with his hair and straightening out his suspenders.

"Ooo, get some, Hickory," one of his friends jeered, earning an eye roll from Hickory.

He waved as his friends started to get rowdy, quickly walking away from them while trying to keep a flush from forming on his cheeks. He hadn't seen John in nearly four years, and they had only spent a couple of months together at the time. Would he even remember? Well, Hickory reasoned, you missed one hundred percent of the shots you didn't take.

He sauntered up to John Dory and placed his hand on the wall next to the pop trolls head before leaning into his space with a smirk. "Guten abend."

John looked up at him, confusion clear on his face. Hickory felt like an idiot. He tipped himself back up to stand upright, letting out a nervous laugh. "Sorry. You don't speak german, do you?"

"Can't say that I do, no," John said, arching an eyebrow at Hickory. "Can I help you?"

Hickory cleared his throat, already feeling like this was going poorly. "I said 'good evening'," he fumbled, suddenly wishing he hadn't handed off his drink so he would at least have something to do with his hands. "I, uhh…you're alone."

John's expression went from confusion to disinterest almost immediately. "Yes. I am. And, if you don't mind, I was actually pretty okay with that situation."

Hickory bristled, wincing at the clear dismissal, but he couldn't just let John slip through his fingers like this. "We met! Before! Sorry, I'm making a mess of this," he quickly babbled, fiddling with one of the floral bracelets he'd been gifted, "I showed you around the last time you visited the village."

John stared at him for a moment, before realization slowly dawned on his face. He stood up straight from the wall, giving Hickory a cursory once over, gaping slightly. "Hickory?!"

Hickory let out a quiet breath, a wobbly little smile on his face as he gave a short nod. "That's right."

"You got tall!"

That startled a snort of laughter out of Hickory. "Ja, and older," he added, waving vaguely at the party. John looked dumbfounded for a moment, glancing around before his gaze snapped back to the yodeler.

"This is your party? Oh, man. Happy birthday!" John said, giving Hickory a friendly punch to the shoulder.

"Thank you," Hickory chuckled, rubbing at the spot that John had hit. "I don't imagine my birthday is what brought you back to town?"

John laughed, shaking his head a little as he leaned back against the wall. "Nah. Not that the party isn't great! But, I just got board with the classical trolls. I kinda vaguely remembered where this place was, and I wanted to come back for another visit. Got a little lost in the mountains for a couple of days, though. I have to admit, I'm a bit exhausted and I only came to the party because I got guilt tripped." John paused as he noticed the somewhat crestfallen expression that flitted over Hickory's face, before a smile was forced back onto it.

"Well, don't let me keep you! You should not feel obligated to stay if you would rather be in bed," Hickory offered, taking a short step back from John.

"Wait, hey, no," John stood back up, reaching out to catch Hickory's wrist. He offered a soft smile to the other, nodding towards the door. "I know this is your party, but why don't we step outside. I'm tired, but I'd love to catch up with you?"

Hickory returned the smile with a genuine one of his own, giving a short nod. He pulled his wrist free of John's hold, only to take his hand properly with a quiet, "I would love that." He turned and began to lead John through the crowd, while doing his best to ignore the cat calls that followed the two of them out.

"Sorry," Hickory muttered once they were outside, his breath puffing up in a tiny cloud in front of him. "My friends can be a bit…lewd."

"Hey, no worries," John said, walking along next to Hickory as they trundled through the snow towards a couple of benches just outside the community hall, "Pop trolls have a reputation, I've been told."

"It is a ridiculous reputation to have, since you are one of the only pop trolls that has even been through town in the last two decades," Hickory scoffed, only to flush in embarrassment at the look John shot him. "I just…it's not right. To make those sort of presumptions. Do you not agree?"

"Oh, I fully agree. It's just kinda nice to have someone else share the sentiment," John admitted, a grin forming on his face. "So," he flopped down to sit on the bench once they reached it, setting his cup on the ground, "What've you been up to since I was last here?"

Hickory eagerly took the seat next to John, and the two began to talk. Once Hickory had caught John up on the relatively uneventful list of things that had occurred in the village, John began to regale Hickory with tales of his travels, which the yodeler took in eagerly. He gasped and cheered in all of the appropriate places, peppering in the odd question to get John to elaborate on details, while John sprung from his seat to enact some of the more daring acts from his time on the Neverglade Trail. After a particularly energetic performance, John fell back onto the bench next to Hickory, quiet pants leaving a trail of wispy condensation in the air behind him.

"Your life sounds fantastic," Hickory hummed, watching John catch his breath with a dopey little smile on his face.

"It's pretty great," John grinned up at Hickory from where he was half laying on the bench.

"I wish I could have adventures like that," Hickory admitted quietly, picking at one of the blooms on his bracelet.

"What's stopping you?" John pushed himself to sit up, leaning into Hickory, "It's your life. And you're old enough now. Heck, you've been old enough for a while. I was eighteen when I went out on my own."

Hickory shrugged, a sardonic little smile on his face. "My brother, mostly. Even though he's not even here right now. But, truthfully? I am not brave enough, I don't think."

"Sure you are! You just gotta put your mind to it," John said encouragingly, nudging Hickory's shoulder with his own.

"No," Hickory shook his head, "I'm a coward."

"Hey, come on. Start small, then. Baby steps. Pick something little that you're scared to do, and just do it!" John grabbed Hickory's knee and gave it a little shake. "I believe in you."

Hickory looked down at the hand on his knee for a moment, before turning his gaze up to John Dory's face. He was smiling brightly at Hickory, open and reassuring in a way very few trolls had ever been to the yodeler. He swallowed thickly, placing his hand over John's, and hoping the pop troll would blame the cold for the flush that adorned his cheeks. "Just…go for it?" he reaffirmed, licking his lips nervously as John nodded encouragingly, "Okay."

To John's credit, he only startled slightly as Hickory leaned into his space and pressed their lips together. It was chaste, and short, but that didn't stop his face from heating up.

"I'm not too young, now," Hickory murmured against John's mouth, his eyes kept shut to save himself from any unsavory expression the pop troll may be making.

"You…what?" John sounded dazed.

"I'm not too young. You told me last time that I was too young, but I'm not anymore." He lifted both hands to cup John's cheeks and press a more determined kiss to the pop trolls lips. He very nearly pulled away, until John began to reciprocate the kiss.

They broke apart from each other after a moment, their breath mingling and turning into delicate fog between them.

"This isn't because-" John began, only to be muffled by Hickory peppering a couple quick, short kisses to his lips.

"No! No, of course not. I told you, I think that is ridiculous. No. It's because I have not been able to get you out of my mind since we last met. And I feel like this, you appearing on my birthday, is nothing short of a sign from the universe for me to at least try," Hickory admitted, letting his fingers lightly trail from John's cheeks, over his shoulders and down to his hands. He finally sat back and opened his eyes to find a flustered looking John Dory sat before him. "You did encourage me to be brave, after all."

John chuckled, a lopsided grin on his face. "I suppose I did, didn't I?"

"You did," Hickory nodded, before he stood from the bench, offering a hand to John. "Come with me."

"Where to?" John asked, not hesitating in the slightest in taking Hickory's hand and standing from the bench.

"Home," Hickory stated simply, leading John through the village.

It was a relatively quick walk through town, especially as most trolls were still at Hickory's party. Hickory lead them to a small, modest house towards the edge of the village. It was adorned with the same floral trim pattern along the awnings that all of the other buildings in the village had, with a well cared for little yard, and a short wooden fence surrounding the property.

As Hickory opened the gate and began to pull John up the short path to the door, the pop troll paused, tugging back on Hickory. "Wait."

Hickory stopped, turning around quickly with a look of worry on his face. "What is it?" he asked, tone concerned.

"I think I remember you mentioning…you have a brother? Does he live here?" John asked, looking towards the door apprehensively.

"Oh," Hickory visibly relaxed, a low chuckle leaving him, "Dickory, yes. He does live here, but he is not in town right now. I'm by myself."

John gave a little nod, nerves leaving him as Hickory tugged him the rest of the way up the path and into the house. He only paused once to wipe his feet on a large mat near the front door, encouraging John to do the same, before he continued to lead the pop troll through the house. He only let go once they had entered a sparsely decorated bedroom, and the door was shut behind them.

"Nice digs," John commented idly, looking around the room briefly, before he found himself being pushed back into the door, Hickory's hands slipping under his vest to trail over his chest.

"I can think of much more interesting things than my bedroom," Hickory chuckled, pressing a kiss to John's cheek.

"Gettin' right to it then, huh?" John joked, lifting his hands to rest gently over Hickory's hips.

"Is that…not okay?" Hickory asked, shifting back slightly but not lifting his hands from John's fur. If this was the only chance he had to soak up the pop trolls presence and touch him, he was going to take advantage of every moment he could.

"Never said it wasn't. You just seem real eager," John teased, easy grin on his face.

"I have waited four years to be able to touch you," Hickory murmured, pressing in close to John while pushing the pop trolls vest from his shoulders, "You will need to forgive my eagerness."

John's grin faltered, his well practiced boy band charm guttering at Hickory's words. "You weren't kidding about that?"

"Kidding about what?" Hickory asked, distracted as he tugged the vest free and tossed it aside.

"Thinking about me. For all that time."

Hickory paused, frowning as he tipped his head back to get a look at the almost hopeful expression on John's face. "Why would I ever joke about something like that? The time we spent together meant a great deal to me. You mean a great deal to me."

"You don't even really know me," John said with a short shake of his head.

"Then let me?"

John stared up at Hickory for a moment, taking in the flower crown that sat askew on his head and the earnest expression he wore on his face as he waited patiently for John's response. He swallowed thickly, before giving a small nod, digging his fingers more firmly into Hickory's hips and pulling him in close. "Okay."

The brilliant grin that John got in return for his consent nearly made him dizzy. He gasped as Hickory ducked his head and pressed a kiss to his shoulder, slowly sinking to his knees as he trailed kisses down John's chest and stomach. He let his head fall back and hit the door with a dull thud, groaning quietly as Hickory all but worshipped him.

As Hickory reached John's hip he paused, tilting his head back to look up at John imploringly. "Is this okay?"

John tipped his head forward, letting out a slow breath as he lifted his hands to tangle his fingers in the yodeler's hair, dislodging the flower crown and causing it to fall to the floor. "More than," he murmured, momentarily distracted as the crown rolled across the room, only to snap his attention back to Hickory with a soft hiss as the yodeler tugged at his shorts and continued his trail of kisses down.

~

"You okay?" John asked, a lopsided grin on his face. The two had eventually migrated to Hickory's bed, where John currently found himself devoid of any of his clothes, laid back in a pile of pillows with a rather flustered looking Hickory between his knees.

"Es tut mir leid," Hickory murmured, licking his lips quickly as he sat back on his heels, "To be truthful, I have never done this before."

"Seriously?" John asked, stretching his arms above his head, grinning a little as he watched Hickory's eyes trail down over his chest. "Strapping young troll like yourself? I find that hard to believe."

"It's true," Hickory said with a self depreciating little laugh, "I think you are the first troll to ever use the word 'strapping' to describe me."

"Aw," John cooed, sitting up and taking Hickory's face in his hands, "Well, I think you're real handsome." He grinned as Hickory flushed, quickly taking the opportunity to kiss the yodeler deeply. When they broke apart, while Hickory was looking a little overwhelmed, John pushed him down into the pillows, swinging his leg over the yodeler to settle in his lap. "Let me take care of you now, okay?" He preened as Hickory's hands settled on his hips, fingers digging in slightly.

"All right."

~

Hickory wondered if this was what it was like to be in paradise. The troll of his dreams was in his lap, a dark flush coloring his cheeks as he panted, looking absolutely lost in the moment as he moved above Hickory. "You are so beautiful," he murmured, reaching up to cup John's jaw. The pop troll looked momentarily startled by the sentiment, only to let out a low moan and sweep down to catch Hickory's lips in a kiss.

"You're not too bad, yourself," John teased as he pulled back, earning a light chuckle from Hickory and a roll of his hips that left John gasping.

~

John huffed as he rolled off of Hickory, flopping back into the mound of pillows next to the yodeler. He looked rather pleased with himself, while Hickory stared up at the ceiling in a daze, both trying to catch their breath.

"That was…"

"Not too bad, huh?" John chuckled, turning his head to smirk at Hickory.

The yodeler blinked, turning his head slowly to frown at John. "Not too bad? John, that was…absolut vollkommen. You were - that was incredible," Hickory stated, pushing himself up onto his elbow to lean over the pop troll. "This was the best birthday I could have ever hoped for."

John's smirk melted into a genuine smile at Hickory's earnestness, reaching up to brush his fingers through wavy orange hair. "I'm glad I could make it memorable."

"The most memorable," Hickory agreed, leaning down to press a kiss to John's lips. He shifted and squirmed amongst the pillows until he managed to maneuver himself over John, pressing in between the pop trolls knees, somehow without breaking their kiss. When he did finally pull back, John let out a low chuckle, arching an eyebrow at Hickory.

"Again?"

Hickory flushed in embarrassment, gasping quietly as John wriggled his hips. "I…only if you'd like to…?"

John snorted, lifting a leg to wrap around Hickory's hips, tugging him close as he stretched his arms above his head and arched his back. "Only if you do all the work this time."

~

When John woke up in the morning it was to an empty bed. He grunted as he felt around the covers, finding the blankets cold. He scowled as he smacked his hands over his face, groaning as he rubbed at his eyes. He should have known better. This was not the first time someone had managed to sweet talk him into bed and then fled in the morning. It was, admittedly, a bit odd that Hickory had taken him back to his house, instead of where John was staying, but perhaps there was some unspoken rule between yodelers that one simply got up and left without a fuss the morning after a fling. He had hoped Hickory would be different, but who was he kidding. He was a washed up ex-boyband member, and because he was a pop troll a lot of other trolls seemed to think he was some sort of traveling strumpet.

He sighed as he spread his arms out over the expanse of the bed, frowning as he began to notice the faint ache in his hips, and the odd way some of his fur was sticking to his skin. As soon as he got back to where he was staying, he was taking a long, hot shower. But first, he needed to get there. He let out another grunt as he rolled out of bed, wincing as he stepped on his discarded goggles. He muttered a quiet curse to himself as he picked them up, cleaning them off with a blanket, and giving them a quick inspection to find them relatively unscathed. He slipped them on his head, before hunting around for his vest and shorts.

John had managed to pull on his shorts and was trying to figure out where Hickory had tossed his vest last night, when the bedroom door began to open. He stopped short as Hickory walked in with a soft little smile on his face, carrying a tray ladened with assorted breakfast foods. Hickory froze when he noticed John standing in the middle of the room, his smile turning into a confused frown.

"Mein liebling…? Did you need to go somewhere this morning?"

John simply stared at Hickory for a long moment, his brain needing the time to register that Hickory had not, in fact, run off on him. That he had, instead, made him breakfast, and brought it to him in bed.

"I…" John began, watching as the confusion on Hickory's face slowly shifted into realization, then resigned understanding. It suddenly felt like a weight was on John's chest as he watched Hickory set the tray aside, a sad little smile on his face as he shuffled across the room to tug John's vest from beneath a few pillows that had been shoved off the bed the night before.

"Here," Hickory offered the vest to John, tucking the thumb of his free hand into the waistband of the sleep pants he was wearing, "I take it you were looking for this?"

John took the vest, but was hesitant to put it on. He held it to his chest instead, tipping his head slightly to try and catch Hickory's gaze, but the yodeler was looking anywhere but directly at him.

"Hickory, I…" John floundered, not knowing what to say to fix the hurt look on Hickory's face. He was supposed to be a lyrical wordsmith, but his mind was drawing an absolutely blank.

"It's okay, schatz," Hickory said, shaking his head and gesturing towards the door. "I understand. And I am so very happy that I could have the time with you that I did. I don't regret it. And I hope you don't, either."

John felt like he'd been sucker punched in the gut. This sweet troll, who'd confessed to thinking about him for nearly four years and had showered him with nothing but compliments and sweet nothings all night, honestly thought John would regret spending the night with him. He dropped his vest and stepped quickly across the room, cupping Hickory's cheeks so he could force the yodeler to look at him. He wanted to kick himself at finding tears in Hickory's eyes.

"No! No, no, Hickory," John brushed his thumbs against the yodelers cheeks, finding his walls quickly crumbling at the way Hickory's expression turned a little hopeful, "I'm sorry. I thought you had left. I wouldn't've…If I'd known you were making me breakfast, I…" He cursed under his breath, squeezing Hickory's cheeks gently, earning a sound of confusion from the yodeler. John cussed again, a little louder this time, before stating quickly, "Can we try this again?"

Hickory gently extracted his face from John's hold, frowning slightly. "Try what again?"

Instead of answering, John picked up the breakfast try and pushed it into Hickory's hands, before ushering the yodeler back out the door. "Here. Wait, like, a minute. Okay? Just…one minute, and then come in again."

Hickory stumbled slightly as he was pushed out the door, turning with his mouth open to speak, only to find the door shut in his face.

Meanwhile, John hurried to slip his shorts back off and toss his goggles to the side, clamoring onto the bed quickly. He arranged the bedding just so around himself, managing to flop back into the pillows and hoping it came off as somewhat alluring, just as Hickory began to open the door again.

Hickory poked his head in first, still looking confused, only for a smile to bloom on his face as John made an exaggerated yawning sound and stretched across the pillows.

"Oh! Did you make breakfast?" John asked, propping his cheek up on the palm of his hand, a coy little smile on his face as Hickory walked across the room and set the tray on the bedside table.

"Ja. I thought, after last night, you might need the energy," Hickory teased easily back, sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached out to pick something off the tray, but paused as John's hand landed on his wrist. He turned his head, letting out a startled little moan as John surged up to press a kiss to his lips.

"Join me?" John asked as he broke the kiss, patting at the pillow next to him.

Who was Hickory to deny such a request? He stood from the bed to slip his sleep pants off before crawling under the covers with John, a pleased little smile on his face as the pop troll draped himself over his lap.

"Now… Feed me," John all but demanded, gesturing vaguely at the breakfast tray. Hickory snorted at the demand, but obliged, snagging a berry from the tray and feeding it to John, who made a show of licking his lips and moaning lowly while he ate.

"Oh," Hickory breathed, offering John another berry, only to find his fingers being drawn into the pop trolls mouth with another self satisfied moan. He swallowed thickly as he pulled his fingers free to reach for the tray again, only to be stopped as John sat up and properly sat himself in Hickory's lap. He blinked owlishly up at the pop troll, who simply grinned down at him.

"Again?" John teased, squeezing his knees around Hickory's hips.

"Yes, please."

[spitdrunken]

I haven't seen him on your blog yet, but, do you have any thoughts on Alastor?

My thoughts are that i do genuinely like him BUUUUT I'm probably never really gonna write 'general nsfw/dating hcs' like I do about other characters just because I enjoy the aroace vibe of him too much HAHA Honestly, not 100% saying I might not in the future but just putting that out there!

I have some thoughts though! I have a couple of little works for him in the drafts, I've just been busy lately to really put the time and effort in to really nail his character...

notes: cannibalism mentions, heavy dubcon implied

One of them where you help with a yearly occurence that has to do with his deer nature (and no, it's not a rut, it's not anything sexual, haha), and it gets a bit... gross. But also kinda sweet? I'm working on it, lol.

Other one is a thought wherein Rosie and Reader are dating, and Alastor just hangs around you two together... A lot. I don't know, Rosie and him are def just friends, but I like the idea of this guy being in like. A QPR with Reader with a lot of specific unwritten rules, and he doesn't even know what a QPR is lmaoooo. Like no one knows what's going on between you two- Least of all you, haha.

Last one,, is more of a general cannibalism fic (entirely non-sexual within the story,, it's just straight up cannibalism. but it's sexual to ME) which involves Cannibal Town Mob characters, Rosie, and Alastor. Essentially, I have been thinking a lot about the idea of demons being able to make money in hell by willingly selling parts of their body to Rosie and the others! ...It all regrows eventually, and in Hell, there are enough desperate souls.

One nsfw idea I do kinda like is, if Alastor were to have like a rut/heat thing like i've seen some people say on here, it would be the worst time of self-loathing for him HAHA basically, him just being purely driven by instinct and hating absolutely every second of it, if that makes sense. but he's still doing it.

So, those are some of the thoughts I'm working on about him! But I feel like I would struggle a bit taking more general requests for him because my thoughts for him are so specific i guess....... ace2ace connection between us right there LMAO but pls do feel free to send in asks ^^!!!!

[glittter-vamp]

3!

Thank you for requesting! 🖤

Based on the song Wasn’t Me By Shaggy.

Warnings: Angst. Cheater!Joe X Reader. Explicit language. Mention of Sex & Alcohol. Sorry for any mistakes, I wrote this up on my lunch break earlier lol

Word count: 1,161

You left the house fuming and in tears. You couldn't believe what you had just walked into. Your Fiance Joe was throwing a party when you were away which he didn't tell you about. You walked into your house filled with people you don’t know, after being out of town for work. You thought it would be a cute idea to surprise Joe but you came home to a crazy house party and seeing something you didn't think you would of ever seen. "Hello?" Your best friend Liz answers the phone groggily. "Hey Liz, I'm sorry if I woke you up but could I crash at your place tonight?" You sniffle. "Y/N? Are you crying? What's going on?" You hear her wake up more. "I just needed to leave, I couldn't look at him." Is all that comes out trying to hold in a sob. "Yeah, yeah...come over but please drive safe. You shouldn't be crying and driving." She says. Of course your best friend would know when you're calling her from your car. "I'll be there in 5." You say before hanging up. 

You make it safely to Liz's house and as you pull into her driveway she opens the front door in her pajamas. You felt like shit for waking her up at 12AM but you just didn't know where to go. "I'm really sorry for coming here like this." You sniffle as Liz hugs you and lets you in. " You don't have to apologize, but what happened?" She asks as you follow her to the kitchen. "I came home early from my work trip. Instead of leaving tomorrow morning, I left tonight so surprise Joe and he had some fucking party going on." You say taking a breath before continuing. "I couldn't find Joe, I asked everyone around the house and they hadn't seen him either. So I went upstairs to our room and heard this noise coming from the bathroom. So I open the door and there he was with the fucking neighbor… fucking on the bathroom sink" You say getting livid all over again and Liz gasps. 

"Wait...the one that you told me about that was always a little too nice with Joe?" Liz asks and you nod. "Oh Y/N...I'm so sorry." Liz says hugging you again which made you cry again. "5 years Liz...we were supposed to get married in a few months." You sniffle. "He's gonna pay, you're going to have the last laugh in the end. I promise you that." Liz says rubbing your back. "I should of listened to my dad about dating a fucking NFL player." You mutter as she goes over to make some tea for you. "Man, I thought he'd be different...guess when you get that type of fame and money you get cut by that shitty cookie cutter. becoming the stereotype" Liz shakes her head as she turns on the stove and puts the kettle on it. "I already bought my dress, that was specially made." You sigh rubbing your face. "Girl, all you gotta do is sell that shit online and tell the story behind it. There's a facebook page of women in your situation and they sell like hot cakes. People love drama and supporting heartbroken women." She says making you chuckle. 

"Did he see you though?" Liz asks. "Yeah after quite sometime. Once he noticed me, I threw my ring in his face and ran downstairs leaving in my car before he could get dressed and even process me there." You scoff. "I'm just saying, when I see him...I might hurt him. Just letting you know." Liz says making you laugh. "I turned my location off, he shouldn't be showing up here." You shake your head. You and Liz enjoy your cup of tea and she tries her best to take your mind off things. Talking about movies, concerts and whatever else but you could feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. "Okay, Y/N...either turn the phone off or I'm calling him and cussing him out myself." Liz says and you sigh. " I'll give you a minute. I gotta go pee anyways. "Liz says living you in her kitchen. 

You unlock your phone and see, a sea of missed texts and calls from Joe. You open the messages up and read the messages. 

J🧡-Please answer the phone Y/N. I'm so sorry, that wasn't me

J🧡-Just let me talk for a few minutes

J🧡-Please pick up

J🧡- That wasn't me, just let me explain.

J🧡- Why did you turn off your location? Are you somewhere safe?? At least tell me that

J🧡-Please come back home, I'll leave if you need space

You scoff at the dozens and dozens of messages like those and decide to call him. You take a deep breath and made the call. Almost immediately he answers. "Hello!? Y/N, Jesus are you okay?" Joe frantically asks. "How could I be okay, I just walked into my Fiance fucking our neighbor." You scoff. “I’m so sorry baby, that wasn’t me. I never meant for that to happen.” Joe says sounding broken himself but it really didn’t do anything for you. “You keep saying it wasn’t me, do you have some type of clone I didn’t know about? What excuse is that?!” You roll your eyes. “I was out of character, I had way too much to drink and I wasn’t thinking right- Joe, you are not blaming this on alcohol. I’ve gone out with my friends multiple times getting shit faced and I never even looked at another guy while I was with you!” You snap back.

“Just tell me what I need to do to regain your trust again, you can’t just throw 5 years away of us away. We can go to therapy,Move houses, whatever you want.” Joe practically begs over the phone. “Joe, the only person who threw this all away was you. Don’t worry about the house, I’ll be getting my stuff out this week. I’m Liz can help with finding me a place in such short notice.” You tell him holding back tears.

“Don’t do this Y/N, please.” Joe says his voice breaking at the end. “I’ll be over to get my stuff while you’re at practice, I’ll leave the keys in the garage and whatever else you’ve given me in the house.” You sniffle before you hang up knowing he was going to put up a fight and you just didn’t want to hear it right now.

“Are you okay?” Liz asks peeking into the kitchen where you were crying. “Nope but I can’t allow him to disrespect me like this and take him back.” You shake your head. “I’m proud of you, and of course I’ll help you find a place. I’m only the best realtor in Cincinnati.” She jokes making you smile. Here’s to starting all over again.

[bluesylveon2]

for the 500 follower special, idia + 75?

I love how all of my gamer knowledge reappeared as I was writing this lol.

Prompt: 75. I’m an insomniac who calls my best friend at 3am except I misdial on my landline and I tell you all about my nightmare before letting you talk and now I’m mortified but you don’t hang up (I changed it a bit)

Note: Modern au. Fainaru Fantajī XV is Final Fantasy 15 but in Japanese. I was gonna use FFXVI but idk how the story goes and I might just watch it on Youtube lol. I DO know the story for FFXV and I love it so much

Word Count: 959

Warnings: not beta read and possible OOC characters

500 Follower Event

Idia's day typically goes as follows: 1. Wake up, 2. Collect his dailies, 3. Stream in his room for hours (while snacking during it). 4. Use the bathroom. 5. Eat sweets, 6. Stream again. 7. Stream. What's sleep anyway?

Idia sighed after setting his headphones down. He just finished playing the latest Fainaru Fantajī XV game since its release. His body ached from the long sitting position, but it was all worth it for him. The story was good, and the gameplay was phenomenal! Idia needed to tell someone about it!

Usually, he would rant about it to Ortho. Still, his little brother was currently out of town because he was starring in a movie with the Vil Schoenheit. Idia was proud of his brother and wanted to keep his much-needed rest. 

Idia grabbed his phone and sorted through his list of friends.

Azul? No, he would only talk about board games. 

Riddle? No, they both had a mutual dislike for one another. 

Cater? HECK NO! NO NORMIES! (Idia made a mental note to delete his number later. How his contact information got on his phone was a mystery.)

Lilia? Idia's eyes widen. Yes! Lilia was perfect! They both share a love of games and often play co-op together. Surely he would be awake at, Idia glanced at the time, 3 am! Idia quickly typed his number, too excited to click on Lilia's number, and brought the phone to his ear. 

"Hello?" A clearly feminine voice replied, but Idia had already started his passionate ranting.

"Lilia! Did you get to play the newest Fainaru Fantajī XV game?"

"Who is-"

"I love the open world concept, and did you see the Regalia? That car screams luxury, and it has to be my dream car. I need to get one ASAP. That would show those lame normies I deal with, ugh."

"Lilia" laughed but continued trying to speak, "That's nice, but-"

"And the chemistry between the main characters! Luna was pretty, I guess? Lowkey women still scar me after the whole Eliza incident." Idia shivered at the memory of his "self-proclaimed" (and crazy) girlfriend (it was one-sided, and Idia didn't consider her his girlfriend anyway) in high school. Never again. "But the bond between Noctis and the other guys was top-notch! It made the gameplay even better!" Idia sighed and leaned back in his chair. "If only Noctis survived to the end, ya know? I guess the developers loved angst. The song choice at the end was the cherry on top. I actually shed a tear."

"Uhh, that's very interesting, but who is this?" "Lilia," asked, and Idia frowned. Now that he was partially done with his rant, he noticed the strange pitch in his friend's voice.

"Lilia, it's me, Idia. You know? The super cool guy who you spend playing League with. Are you sick? Your voice sounds off."

"I don't know a Lilia. My name is Yuu, and no, I am not sick. I am very healthy." Yuu's voice replied, and Idia froze. OH NO, NO, NO

"YOU'RE A GIRL?"

He could imagine the stranger frowning and thinking he was some creep. "Yes?"

"Eep!" Idia squealed and immediately pressed the big red "end call" button. He threw his phone at his bed, jumped face down on his bed, and groaned loudly. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! You just embarrassed yourself in front of a stranger! In front of a girl!" Idia was ready to bury himself in a hole.

Idia's phone rang just as he made the decision to do it. He groaned at the annoying ringtone, picked it up, and brought the phone to his ear without checking the caller ID. 

"Hello?"

A female voice laughed. "You hung up on me, Idia."

"Ah!" Idia screamed. He looked at his phone and raised his finger to hang up the call.

"Wait! Don't hang up!" Yuu exclaimed, causing Idia to freeze. He slowly brought his phone back to listen. The girl sighed after a minute passed. "Look, before you hang up again, I wanted to say that I love that game too."

Idia blinked, and his mouth opened in shock. "Y-you do?" he managed to say and wanted to facepalm.

Yuu laughed. "I'm not far into the game, though. I got distracted by fishing and playing with chocobos."

Idia felt himself relax, and he laughed with Yuu. "They are adorable. I liked racing them."

"Me too! Hey, Idia, can I ask you something?"

"Uhh, sure…What is it?"

Yuu sighed, and Idia could hear some shuffling on her end. She was probably adjusting herself to get comfortable. "Can you tell me more about the game? I need some help getting through it and would like some advice."

Idia felt a smirk grace his face. "Of course, you would need my help. I'll help you beat all the bosses with 0 deaths. You're good to talk for tonight?"

Yuu chuckled. "Yeah, I don't have anything planned. Oh great, Idia. Give me your wisdom." 

Idia ended up not sleeping that night but made a new friend instead. 

Bonus:

"I heard the Child of Man made a new friend." Malleus looked up from his Gao Gao Drakon-kun to speak to his father.

Lilia paused his game and turned to Malleus. "Oh? Did she say who?"

Malleus nodded. "It's actually your friend Idia. The one you often play games with." He said and gestured to the monitor that currently had Fainaru Fantajī XV. 

Lilia smiled, feeling happy for his friend. "What a coincidence. It is a small world, after all."

Malleus nodded and smiled, thinking about Yuu's happy rant that morning after staying up to talk to Idia before passing out from exhaustion. He was also delighted for her that she had met him. "Indeed it is."

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-23. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

[o7k5a8m9i]

♠️🌸💖Queen of the Circus💖🌸♠️ Hisomachi Fanfiction🌹🌙💮

~| This is a Hisomachi oneshot (This is NOT cannon but this DOES include some cannon things if you wanna know what's cannon and not go look it up or ask me 🥰🌸💖🎐🍡✨💮 PS I know this story's really cheesy dumb and wholesome it's only cuz their kids when their older it's a completely different story lol🌹💘🌙🦋) [PG-13 ✨Backstory AU✨ again not really cannon ok enjoy💖🌹🎐🌸]

______________________________________________________________Machi POV: I was out on my nightly walk when I heard there was a circus in town (city it's meteor city) so me being the interested, little, 9 year old, girl I was. I decided to go take a SMALL look so no one would see me.

(She then hid behind a old car and watched the show. as much as she wanted to go home and sleep because she's a LITTLE kid she didn't she was hooked it was so Interesting to her🌹 the show was almost over the last act was on! it was a...... red haired little boy!?)

Machi POV: oh a little boy what can he do?

(The boy then performed a lot of AMAZING magic tricks)

[Ok I actually don't know what kinda stuff he could do back then so let's just say magic for fun ok?😅💖🌸] {PS it looks like this art NOT mine ⬇️⬇️💖🌸🌹}

(After the show little Machi was tired because it was 11:00pm that was late for her and her friends might get suspicious so she decided to take the short cut home)

[BTW her "Friends" is the phantom troupe they just did call themselves that yet]

(The short cut led her behind the tent/caravan or whatever the circus was performing/traveling in. she was doing good on her way till she saw something...)

Machi POV: huh oh it's that boy.... I'll just sneak past him..oh a apple yum I'm hungry....==.... maybe I'll steal his another apple....

(She saw the boy with red hair sitting in the back looking at the stars eating a apple there was one more apple beside him and she was gonna steal it because she was hungry. she sneaked up and hid behind some trash she was about to grab it when she heard a voice)

Boy: hey do you want this apple?

Machi: ahhhh!!!! w...w...who are you!?!

Boy: my name is Hisoka^^ what's yours?

Machi: m...m..Machi...

Hisoka: so do you want this apple?

Machi: uhhh......I...I..(she never took things that were offered to her she felt it was a sign of weakness but this time was different)

Machi: oh ok sure (*grabs and sits down next to him*)

Hisoka: Machi was it? nice to meet you^^ (*she just looks at him*)

Hisoka: so how old are you?

Machi: I'm 9 you?

Hisoka: ohh nice I'm 12^^.... so did you like my show? I saw you in the back behind the car^^

Machi: oh uhh.. (she thought she was hiding good and no one saw her)

Machi: yeah you're impressive...

Hisoka: your not to friendly are you? it's not your fault though you don't know how to be~

Machi: Hey don't jump to conclusions!! (he was right though)

Hisoka: oh sorry...I just don't get the chance to meet people...

Machi: I... it's ok...I really liked your tricks..///(*she was embarrassed*)

Hisoka: really thanks!!^^✨

Machi: no prob..///

Hisoka: Hey wanna be friends?^^

Machi: uhh...ok sure==////...

Hisoka: ohhh thank you!!^^~

Machi: but wait don't you live in this traveling circus you'll just have to move again besides I never really had a friend before....///

(the troupe is like family not friends)

Hisoka: well true but we'll be in town for two more days and we'll come back!^^ don't worry meteor city is one of our top places to visit~

Machi: I wasn't worried!!/// and ok we'll be friends.... I guess...

(*they ended up talking for awhile about all kinds of stuff*)

Machi: oh heck it's 1:00am!!! I gotta go!!

Hisoka: oh uhh ok..hey can you come back here tomorrow at 10:00?Machi: ok I will...bye... Hisoka..///

Hisoka POV: she said my name!^^~///

(and just like that Machi ran home as fast as she could. but little did she know he was forming a crush on the beautiful pink haired girl he just met and even she Machi Komacine was forming a small crush on the clown boy she just met although she'd never say it)

{Art NOT mine ☁️}

{|♠️🌸🌹TIME SKIP🌹🌸♠️|} ××× Tomorrow Morning ×××

Feitan: hey Machi wake up..

(*Sleepy Machi raisins her tired hard of her ripped up pillow*)

Machi: huh...Oh Fei hi what's up...==..

Feitan: Where were you? you were gone all night...what were you up to?

Phinks: yeah what were you doing?

Machi: uhh I....uhh......///..

(*she didn't want to say she spent the night with a clown boy she met From the circus it was embarrassing*)

Chrollo: come on guys don't push her she'll tell us when she's ready^^

Machi: thanks Chrollo///

Chrollo: no problem^^

[×× Later that night ××]

Machi: ok I'm off on my walk bye.

Pakunoda: bye Machi^^💖

(*Little Machi ran to the Circus and watched the show till the end*)

Hisoka: Oh Machi!!~^^//

Machi: hi clown boy

Hisoka: clown boy....////Cute I like it~^^ oh I got you something!

Machi: huh what is it?/// (*Hisoka hands her a caramel apple*)

{🎐Just a cute drawing NOT mine 🎐}

Hisoka: it's a caramel apple^^ I've been saving it since I was in the last town but I wanna give it to you^^~

(*Her eyes lit up like they never have before as she held the apple she said Something she DID NOT say often in the happiest tone*)

Machi: Thank You it's so beautiful I've heard about them but I've never actually seen one thank you!!^^💖 (*but honestly she's still a child*)

(*They spent the rest of the night talking eating and having fun*)

Machi: oh it's getting late a gotta go!

Hisoka: ok take care dear Machi^^~

Machi: ok I will (*then she stopped walking and froze*) tomorrow is your last day here isn't it?///....

Hisoka: uhhh yeah it is....but we'll come back!💖

Machi: ok see you tomorrow I wanna show you my favorite spot's!^^

Hisoka: ok I'm excited to see them^^~

{|♠️🌸🌹TIME SKIP🌹🌸♠️|} ××× Tomorrow Afternoon ×××

(*Machi was heading out on her walk early because she wanted to show Hisoka her favorite spot's to play hang out and look at she doesn't have belongs so showing him her favorite places is her way of thanking him for the yummy caramel apple*)

Shalnark: Machi where are you going?^^

Machi: uhhh no where.......///...///

Chrollo: uhh Machi I need you to help me do some stuff sorry^^

Machi: oh uhh ok no prob^^

(*Btw by "STUFF" he means VHS stuff you know. read the manga^^*)

(She helped Chrollo but it took longer then she expected it was now 11:00 she was LATE even though she knew she couldn't show him her spots she could at least see him one last time. after a lot of running she got there and saw him standing in the back where she first met him it made her sad to think this was.....the end)

Hisoka: huh? oh Machi!!!💖 I thought you weren't coming!?^^~

Machi: yeah I was busy....///.....sorry..

Hisoka: it's ok I just appreciate you coming at all everyone always thinks I'm just a freak like a toy or something...

Machi: well....I don't think you're a freak infact I think you're really cool!

(*These words made Hisoka smile a small but beautiful smile*)

Machi: so tonight is it you'll be gone tomorrow...

Hisoka: yeah but and even if it takes YEAR'S I'll come back to you!^^

(*Machi blushed and sat beside him*)

Machi: t.. thank you...///...sorry I couldn't show you my spot's..///

Hisoka: aww it's ok maybe next time^^~

Machi: yeah...so what time do you leave?

Hisoka: uhhh 8:00am

Machi: ok wait for me I'll come tell you goodbye!

Hisoka: aww it's ok you don't have to do th-

Machi: No I'm gonna do it!

(Machi had never been wanted before everyone left her she was alone)

[Not the troupe they're family]

Hisoka: well ok then^^~

{|♠️🌸🌹TIME SKIP🌹🌸♠️|} ××× Tomorrow Early Morning ×××

(*Machi was woken up by Pakunoda*)

Machi: huh... what's wrong Paku?==

Pakunoda: well you were crying in your sleep are you ok?

(*Machi just realized she was crying she wasn't sad but tears fell from her eyes then she remembered her dream it was about her Mother she didn't wanna remember anymore besides she had to go say goodbye)

Machi: oh yeah I'm fine thanks Paku^^

Pakunoda: well if you're sure...

(*then Machi looked at the time 7:30am*)

Machi POV: oh no I'm gonna be late!! all I want is to say goodbye!(*Machi got up and ran as fast as she could she ran faster and faster and finally she saw the caravan leaving she looked around but didn't see him then she looked to her left and saw him sitting looking at the rising sun and for the first time in her life she felt this feeling like her heart was being squeezed*)

Hisoka: oh Mac-(*he was cut off by her hugging him*)

Machi: Bye clown boy^^

Hisoka: bye little Machi I can't wait to see you again^^

______________________________________________________________

[And as they parted ways they both found something they never felt Love and it was a beautiful and sad thing but they had hope even if they had NO idea that they and feelings for one another. but the question is would they meet again?🌹♠️🌸]

{If y'all like this I'll continue the story!💖☺️ actually I'm gonna anyway because I have plans!!✨🎐 anyway if you have any questions let me know no hate please!🥰💮 ok bye bye I hope you continue reading my cheesing story's 😅🌙🌹till we meet again!🌸}

Thank you💖💜♠️