#all the crack and humor

[royalarchivist]

Everyone this week: *lore, conspiracy theories, long conversations with Cucurucho, multiple attempts to summon the Binary Monster*

Spreen when lore:

[tsukii0002]

Luke: *to the demon brothers* Humans are pure beings!!! full of light!!!

Meanwhile, in the distance.

Mc: *eating cheetos* Is he talking about the same human kind I belong to?

Solomon: *stealing them cheetos* I think so.

Mc: Wow, I have never felt less identifies.

Solomon: Same.

Solomon: ...

Mc:...

Solomon: I'm going to tell him.

Mc: *Putting their hand on his chest* shhhh he is too young, as soon as he stay for a while in the human word, he will ralize.

Solomon: Mc, Luke May be a child, but he is still an angel and has lived for hundreds of years.

Mc: And? That supports my point, I mean, it has only taken me twenty years of living there to know that we are a lost cause.

.

.

[ad0rechuu]

MY FRIENDS AS CAKES; A THREAD. ━━ OBEY ME p2

warnings. ━━━━━ mentions of food, swearing, death, all the fun stuff

masterlist | part one

notes. (solomon is younger than everyone but luke btw) i’m working on an ateez smau and a long form obey me series so enjoy this in the mean time ^_^ thank u for all the love on the previous part it was my first post so it’s been really lovely and overwhelming!! i’ll make a part three when the new character become official playables or i’ll just learn more about them because i’m only on lesson 60

[tiredactivist]

If Scully had an Instagram account.

[whumperofworlds]

Whump scenario, but it's a rap battle between Whumpee and Whumper.

[iamnmbr3]

Death Eaters: Potter escaped but we almost caught him. We saw him use Expelliarmus so we knew it must be him because he'd never use a deadly spell in a fight.

Draco: He what now?

[supernatural-24]

this was funnier in my head i'm sorry

[whack-patty]

Reporter asked if they were an ****item*****

[allegra-writes]

"And They Were Roommates" Masterlist

Armand x Daniel Molloy; Lestat De Lioncourt x Louis De Pointe Du Lac.

All Human, college AU

Collaboration with the incredible @faerywhimsy

This is the story of how they went from being Armand and Daniel, best friends and roomates, and Louis & Lestat, hottest couple on campus to being Armand & Daniel & Louis & Lestat, the polycule of chaos.

Sounds crazy? Wait until you see what Louis had to put up with...

Part I: The Roomie

Part II: The Saboteur

Part III: Karaoke Night

[kudossi]

telephone

APPRENTICE SQUAD

[3:18PM]

[Graypaw added Firepaw to the chat]

[3:20PM]

Firepaw: Hello! It’s great to be here!

Sandpaw: …Ew, why?

Dustpaw: Did Bluestar authorize this?

Graypaw: I think Firepaw authorized this by beating the shit out of Longtail. That’s our boy!

Dustpaw: All that proves is that Darkstripe is a lousy mentor

Sandpaw: And we already knew that

Dustpaw: I bet Darkstripe would lose to Longtail

Dustpaw: Nothing against Tigerclaw’s mentoring, Ravenpaw

Graypaw: Maybe try apologizing to your brother when he isn’t unconscious??

Dustpaw: I wasn’t apologizing.

[3:43PM]

Firepaw: So what do we do with this, uh, vigil thing?

Sandpaw: You? Nothing. Go find moss to pad your nest, kittypet

Firepaw: Ouch.

Graypaw: Come to the den, I’ll tell you there.

[3:50PM]

Firepaw: Sorry about Redtail, Sandpaw. Dustpaw.

Sandpaw: I could have gone my entire life without letting the kittypet feel sorry for me

Dustpaw: Ditto.

Dustpaw: But, uh, I could use some extra sympathy right now.

Graypaw: Yeah, ouch. It’s like Bluestar was reading the chat.

Sandpaw: We’ll do tutoring sessions to make up for Darkstripe, don’t worry

Graypaw: …She wasn’t reading the chat, was she?

Sandpaw: I don’t think that’s possible unless someone specifically showed her. Wait. Firepaw?

Firepaw: …I thought the leader’s word was law?

Graypaw: The apprentice chat is sacred!! Firepaw!! What have you done???

Firepaw: No one told me!

Sandpaw: Well, there is a dead guy in the middle of camp.

Graypaw: Aw, Sandpaw, are you defending Firepaw?

Sandpaw: Absolutely not. I’d just like to get back to mourning my father in peace???

Graypaw: Oh yeah.

[8:38PM]

Graypaw: Who took the last squirrel from the fresh-kill pile???

Sandpaw: You snooze you lose.

[note-boom]

I thought this when reading the manga and I'll think this now, but I am absolutely obsessed with how the only moments when Ranpo admitted his lack of ability (barring Dead Apple to himself) were when

A) Poe trapped him in his novel and

B) he surprise carpooled with Mushitarou

I'm starting to see a pattern with the way Ranpo makes friends

[nerdy-talks]

What Satan says :

What Satan means :

[thewingedwolf]

a lot of my free time is spent listening to a podcast run and researched by a professor of genocide studies who went into those studies specifically bc in an attempt to escape the violence of his angry, alcoholic father he signed up to go off to war in afghanistan only to realize that the whole war and war in general is a) stupid & boring and b) a series of horrific war crimes that had made the civilian population deeply suspicious of him even tho His Morals Were In The Right Place (tm). when he got home and threw himself into being anti violence, joining anarchist orgs & studying theory & trying to understand why he was sent to the other side of the world to be traumatized for no good reason while traumatizing the local population with his very presence, his shithead father died & he found out that his father was Like That bc their family was chased out of armenia because of genocide and it kicked off a cycle of violence & anger in the men of his family. he absolutely lost his shit, got his degree in genocide studies, and moved to armenia (do not ask me how he convinced his wife to do this with him. he’s really open about every other aspect of his life except his wife and kids which is imo very valid).

all that to say, he has this interesting perspective of war in that he has this cultural trauma of being the victim of a horrific crime while also himself being the perpetrator of imperialism & serving in an area that had recently been the site of several horrific war crimes (really similar to tim o’brien, who served in my lai several months after the massacre but didn’t know the massacre had happened & pieced together what happened from the horrified whispers of the civilians & brags from soldiers). it makes him both hyper critical of soldiers who do terrible things & empathetic to soldiers who are forced from home to do terrible things & angry on behalf of civilians who are victims of war crimes. i have ragged on him for being Very Midwestern about certain things but his research is interesting & sad & well done, & it’s really made me think about my own place in The Greater World & every time the internet loses its mind over some aspect of history i am violently reminded that most people just look at history and go “but MY SIDE was justified actually” when that’s such a BABY IDEA OF HOW HISTORY AND WAR WORKS.

[cubikzoa]

Every day I wake up and do things that would disappoint my family but would objectively make 0scar Wilde proud and/or enrage a 16th century bishop. There are no losses here

[whumped-by-glitter]

After having a series of discussions, I'm lowkey thinking about making an ADHD whumpee with Hypersomnia, anxiety, and depression, with a fawn response to trauma. Oh yeah, with dyscalculia as well, so they perpetually get their left and right mixed up..... 🤣

[countlessrealities]

Even more incorrect quotes || Accepting !

@imprvdente sent: ✏️ and i know they haven't really interacted yet but this seems too fun for me not to do it: Alastor and Fish

Fish: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. Alastor: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

Fish: Any idiot would know that. Alastor: I knew that! Fish: See?

Fish: Seriously, Alastor, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to? Alastor: That’s not important. Fish: I DISAGREE.

Alastor: Is there something you would like to say, Fish? Fish: Oh, there are SEVERAL things I would like to say.

Fish: Fight me! Alastor, standing behind her and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Alastor: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk. Fish: Go the fuck to sleep, Alastor.

Alastor to Fish: Turn that frown upside-down! A little while later...Alastor: What are you doing? Fish, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working.

Fish, at Alastor's funeral: I need a moment with them. Everyone: Of course. *They leave* Fish, leaning over Alastor′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead. Alastor: Yeah, no shit.

Fish: Do you think I'm plastic? Alastor: No. Fish: Phew. Oka- Alastor: Plastic, at least, has some use in life. You're not plastic.