i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
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what about your favourite player? :p
Jars Jars Jars Jars Jars.
Not to sound insane but he grinned and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly.
No but seriously I took one look at the eyebrows and the dimples and the baby face sometime circa 2017-2018 and knew that was it for me. That was the one for me. I always like to have a handful of favorites (my personal tier list) of which an important part is goalie, emotional support depth forward, and defenseman. Of my original 3 loves we traded Shears away twice, sold Big Rig back to Dallas for a corn chip I don’t actually remember I’m just bitter, and shoved Mouse Boy in the minors for like two years. It was a rough time.
In the last year or two I’ve done a lot of navel gazing between retirements (cully hags&horny 😭), trades (Shears, Big Rig, Teddy, Jakenbake 💔), free agency, and our old guys getting older that I can’t obfuscate around the fact that Jars is it for me. I love his stupid face, his curls, his perfect eyebrows, his dedication to saying nothing and pretending there isn’t a thought in his head, the fact that he won’t go shirtless in the locker room. Just all of it. I get cuteness aggression thinking about him. I spent so long thinking we weren’t going to re-sign him this time last year that I literally cried when we did and then again at the start of the season and again at the goalie goal and several other points — look I have a lot of intense emotions about Mouse Boy. Say what you want about his play or his injury history, whatever, I don’t care. You cannot change my mind. Mother, I love him.
There are other players I love — Flower and the Core exist in a niche in my heart I can’t quantify nor rank in terms of favorites. However, if I’ve got to be honest, I would probably sell most of the team to Satan for one corn chip if it meant keeping Jars around. I don’t know if I have it in me to follow him to another team but that’s the limit. Everything else is fair game.
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