#I’ve been trying my best to be normal about it since I’m an adult but I… sorry I’m so sorry anon I’m embarrassing

[jensettermandu]

birthday wish - jennie kim

genre; smut, slight angst, fluff, smut with some plot

pairing; jennie x g!p reader

content; breeding kink, oral (reader giving), spanking, rough sex, degrading, humiliation, creampie (?), brattiness, probably missed something

synopsis; it's her birthday and she only has one wish

wc; 17k+

masterlist

a/n: this was written in two days, sorry if it is not up to standard with my usual writing. i forgot about the bday since i don't usually write for anything special for them

Loud music, drinks (many free ones), dancing, and partying in a way she hadn’t been able to do in a couple of months. She was finally able to party like a teen which had been hard. Jennie had turned 28 and was reaching her peak yet at some point everything had turned sour and bitter in her life. It wasn’t unusual, things would always go up and down and she was old enough to accept it.

What was a lot harder to accept was the break-up she had with her ex-girlfriend about four months ago. The concept of not being good for each other, that loving wasn’t enough if they brought out these bad sides of jealousy, possessiveness, and the fights it would cause. It was a tough fall to break up with someone who she had started seeing when she was in her early 20s–22 to be exact and broken up with later on. That was someone she had spent half of her tweenies with.

That person who she had been at a peak with, who always made her feel like a teen in love. Who flew her through the sky, into a new universe and now had her crash back down to earth after a high that lasted for five years. Five years had been bumpy, but it didn’t matter if they had been trying all the time. There was only so long they could go off of feeling like teens when they were adults. At some point the fun had to be limited, or did it have to be? Did she have to grow up? 

It was her Birthday.

Jennie and her friends had pre-gamed before they went bar hopping.

The idea?

They couldn’t wait for Jennie to get laid now that she was over her ex-girlfriend who they liked to call an asshole. Jennie would argue about that because she wasn’t an asshole. She just loved too hard and so did Jennie. An asshole wouldn’t be able to give Jennie the best years of her life despite having many more to come, nor would an asshole be able to give her mind-blowing sex.

The sex.

Jennie had found herself horny for the past month.

Jennie had found herself pathetically wasting money on sex toys that sufficed for the moment, but not long term.

All that, but she hadn’t been able to go out and meet someone to hook up with.

She was scared she would get disappointed and feel like only one person could satisfy her truly.

The woman wasn’t supposed to be running back to her ex after crying for two months straight, and then managing to slowly start functioning normally on the third and now was the fourth and she was out partying–looking to get laid and fully forget her ex by finding someone who could fuck her good enough.

Fuck it out of her mind, leave her memories a blur.

It was the third place they had been to.

“Anyone hot yet? We’re not leaving until you leave first because you’re going to drop your panties for a stranger.” Lisa was right by her ear as she spoke, shot still in her hand as the dozen girlfriends that Jennie was with had just been served another round.

“You have to lose your post-breakup virginity, babe.” Jisoo came from the other side and spoke into her ear, making Jennie giggle at the slurred words of the drunk woman.

“I’m literally on it, I’ve been standing and looking pretty the whole night,” Jennie argued as she wasn’t the one to walk up to someone.

“To sex!” Lisa’s words earned squeals and shouts from the other girls, Jennie drowned herself in yet another shot. Her world was slowly starting to spin, knowing that in three more shots, she would be perfectly drunk. That type that left her euphoric and not blackout drunk.

“I will be back.” Jennie found herself making it to the bathrooms, there was no line fortunately for her as she walked in. The music was still making her body vibrate despite being muffled in the bathroom that was filled with the chatter of girls in the cubicles and by the sink.

She was trying her best, but it was difficult to just throw herself back out there. There were plenty of fish in the sea, but the deep waters would always be scary and she had just managed to dip herself in it.

She reached into her purse after finishing her quick business as her phone had started to buzz. Her eyes squinted to read the texts that were a tinge blurry, all she could tell was that they were from her friends who had spammed the group chat and made it hard to understand what the topic was or why they were texting incoherent words to begin with.

“Jesus!” Jennie exclaimed at the bang that came on her door, making her shut her phone off right away. Her heart jumped at how scared she got and she planted her hand against the door for safety even if there were other people in the bathroom.

“Knock knock.” Her heart jumped much higher now.

“Y/n?” She questioned the voice that was all too familiar and made her whole body feel like jelly from the second she heard it.

“Hey, sexy.”

“No, definitely not, Y/n–get the fuck away from me.” It was like a disease if Y/n touched her. She would get infected right away.

Fun fact: Jennie lied to her friends when she said that she was over Y/n.

“Happy Birthday, Jen–”

“Please, we’re over, I do not want to see you and you know it, Y/n.” Jennie was desperate for the girl to leave. Her night had been perfect and now that Y/n had appeared from nowhere, she knew what mistakes she would make and how the night would get better because she missed Y/n. The easiest fish to catch for Y/n was Jennie, she reeled her in with ease.

It never was a messy breakup as they agreed on it, but it still took a toll because despite knowing that they at times were no good for each other, they still loved strongly. They loved each other stronger than anyone else, even their families didn't get that kind of love and Jennie loved her mother dearly. Which also made it an easy decision that was hard to go through with.

“Do I? I know that I want to see you, Jennie. I am quite sure you want to see me too.” Jennie heaved a sigh, staring at the stall door while fighting all these urges. She wanted to convince herself that she would stand in this cubicle until her death just to avoid Y/n. That if she walked out of it she would walk right past her and not look back because they were supposed to be looking at their future.

This was the woman Jennie had planned a future with.

She would let Y/n spit that addicting poison right back into her mouth, there were still remnants of it left as she hadn’t moved on.

She unlocked the cubicle.

God, Jennie was weak, as in literally and metaphorically.

Y/n blocked the way as she stepped inside the cubicle and closed it before locking it too. She leaned back against the door and her eyes took in Jennie to the fullest.

The brunette widened her eyes and looked up at the girl who was younger by a few months as she had that usual enigmatic smile that always made Jennie curious about what she was thinking. That always drew Jennie in and made her cling to her and ask about it all, the answers were always the best. Her face was still as perfect as when they met, those eyes that would always gaze with adoration, perfectly plump lips, upturned nose, her slim figure, and all that Jennie always was attracted to when it came to her looks. Although, it had always been far more than just her looks that Jennie was attracted to.

“Sexy was no joke–” Y/n stopped talking, realising that she hadn’t seen her in four months after seeing each other every day for the past five years and living together for the past three and a half. The cubicle was getting Jennie’s scent trapped, the one that made it possible to sleep at night and Y/n had to spray her sheets with it unless she wanted more sleepless nights. The woman was dressed simply yet she made it look complicated with her beauty, a backless top, and black cargos, her figure shown off. Black had always been her colour and Y/n had always loved her in black, from clothes to lingerie.

Neither of them was over the other.

“Y/n.” Jennie said and her hands came up to plant themselves against Y/n's stomach when she stepped closer. Y/n smiled, her hand brushing over Jennie’s bare arm and it was enough to send shocks of familiarity and longing through the kitten's whole body. It was like it was shaking her from how electric it was, it was as if her body was charged right back up and coming back to life.

She sighed and suddenly took the few steps back that were needed for her back to touch the stall and make her somewhat squirm at how cold it was against her shoulder blades. It was overwhelming to have Y/n so close to her, their eyes stuck right together, those emotions of longing, and sadness, yet so much happiness at the back of it all of seeing one another again.

“It was so different waking up today with an empty bed and no Jennie to spoil from morning to night—it was more than an empty bed.” Y/n’s tone fell, one that was loud enough just for Jennie to hear. The slender fingers reached up to the face that held home on it, fingers running along Jennie’s jaw. It was still the same woman, the one Y/n fell in love with.

This was so bad for the Jennie who had lied about moving on.

This was so good for the Jennie who never wanted to move on.

Jennie grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand and removed it from her face, although she didn’t let go of it. It felt too good to hold her again. “How did you know I would be here? You weren’t looking for me, were you?” A sly and cheeky smile graced Y/n’s lips at the question. Out of the whole nightlife of Seoul she still somehow managed to run into her. It was the popular area in Gangnam, one they used to head to all the time, but still.

“No, not much better to do on weekends than to go out with friends now that I don’t have you. I knew it was your birthday, so all I did was hope that you would show up at this club at some point.” She had hoped she would at least catch a glimpse of her. It was shot in the dark as Seoul was big and it had been hours since they went out, but all she did was hope that Jennie would head out for her birthday–hopefully without anyone new.

“I’ve missed you–a lot.” Y/n was the first to admit it, her fingers intertwined with Jennie’s as she had never let go of her hand. She raised it before pinning it beside her head, taking that small step that left them dangerously close to each other. Jennie gripped Y/n’s black sweatshirt, unsure if she wanted to push her away or drag her closer.

“I’ve missed you too.” There wasn’t a single nerve in her body that could make her hold back on those words. Jennie looked down at Y/n’s lips as she had licked them. God knew how much she had missed her. It couldn't have been healthy. It made Jennie act out in way she hadn't done before. It made her feel crazy. 

“Are you here with someone?” Y/n knew the question could have many answers, she was praying for one that didn’t involve someone who had replaced her. Could anyone replace her?

“With–” The answer came before Jennie could utter it herself.

“Jennie?” It was Jisoo.

Followed by Lisa. “Are you here?”

“You think she just left?” Chaeyoung questioned.

“Check the stalls?”

The two looked at each other. It would be bad news for Jennie if she was seen with Y/n in the same cubicle right now. There was no way she would be able to explain herself and even if she would be able to–was it bad that she didn’t want to leave just yet? Maybe the best gift she could have received on her birthday was to fill that hole that had been left after an important part of her life had left. Even for one night.

Their silent communication worked wonders still after being away for four months. Y/n stepped back, grabbing hold of the top of the stall as she got on top of the toilet seat while helping Jennie up by pulling her by her hand. The two somehow managed to squeeze on that seat, holding onto one another to not fall.

Even if it was just for a night, it would still make it another memorable birthday.

Jennie didn’t have to tell her friends about it.

“I swear to God if she left with her.” The two looked at each other at what Chaeyoung said.

“Are you sure it was Y/n?”

“Yes, I could recognise that little shithead from miles away.”

“What did you tell them–” Jennie covered Y/n’s mouth so they wouldn’t be heard by accident. It was baffling to the girl to hear Chaeyoung talk about her like that. Had they both agreed to a breakup if Jennie had talked bad about Y/n to relieve her gloom and anger?

“She’s over her.”

“Who knows anymore? It’s like she’s someone completely different without her and it’s not even in a good way.” Y/n’s eyes softened at the words that left Jisoo and Jennie hid her face in her arm as she was still covering Y/n’s mouth.

“Maybe she found a hookup and forgot to text–just send another message because she’s not here.”

The two waited for a good minute before they climbed down the toilet seat and Jennie opened her phone to see the text in the group chat. This time she scrolled up to see that they were all saying how Y/n was at the bar and they were waiting for Jennie so they could leave for a new one. She decided to text them about finding a hookup.

“What did you tell them to hate me so much?” Y/n questioned again and Jennie put her phone away.

“I was pissed okay–cut me some slack if you were the one to walk out the door,” Jennie grumbled and opened the stall as she walked out of it at last. Y/n followed right after her, picking up in her pace as the shorter girl took quick steps until she got to the countertop with the sinks.

“Hey, hey, I thought it was a mutual agreement to break up.” Now Y/n was confused because despite it feeling almost impossible to leave they agreed on it. She thought they both left with the same intentions and the same mindset. They loved each other, but at times it felt like they did love too much and it held them back.

“Yeah, it felt like I had no other choice but to agree when you suggested that we break up.” Jennie had tried to force that mindset on herself, to be on the same page because she knew what the problem was of being together and still living in the past. They needed to grow up. It was stupid, she did want to grow up, but she didn’t want to grow apart. It caused her temporary depression, anger, and frustrations which she took out by bad-mouthing Y/n to her friends. It hurt her to see the woman she had spent five years with just walk out the door as if Jennie hadn’t been a major part of her life.

“Are you angry at me because you didn’t tell me how you felt?”

“Yes, I am because what would it change if I said no? I thought you knew me well enough to understand that I didn’t want any of this, Y/n.” The latter was in disbelief at the words as she stood behind Jennie who was furiously washing her hands. It went quiet between the two of them, the only thing filling the silence was the muffled music and chatter of people around them. No one around them mattered though, they never did when they were together. It was like they were in a different world with each other.

Jennie stopped and held onto the counter, a frown on her face as she looked at Y/n through the mirror. She felt like a fool for being the only one, for thinking that Y/n would be able to read her mind. She knew that it was her fault too because it had been a suggestion and she agreed when she felt like there was no other choice. There was a reason why she had suggested it and Jennie knew that it was valid. She just didn’t want to go through with it and stupidly expected for Y/n to read her mind like some idiot. 

“Come on.” Y/n didn’t answer the question. She couldn’t answer it because she didn’t want to hurt Jennie by making her realise the time they wasted away from each other. Y/n would have stayed. She only suggested what she thought would benefit them both, it did in one way as it let them realise what they truly needed. 

They needed each other.

She grabbed her hand and Jennie was led through the club. She just let her steal her away. It was how they met and she would always let Y/n drag her anywhere like the first time they met at a party where Y/n dragged her away from it only to give her the most memorable night of her life by showing her how to let go.

“Jacket, why do you not have a jacket?” Y/n questioned as they stepped out of the bar and were met by the cold night of January with snow lying around.

“I left it in the car we came in.” Y/n shook her head while exhaling through her nose and removing the oversized leather jacket she had on.

“You’re being stupid–What’re you even planning to do?” Jennie questioned, Y/n was now left in the black loose sweatshirt as she moved behind Jennie. The girl looked back while putting her arms through the sleeves. She was confused, but she couldn’t just walk away. She had no idea what Y/n was planning on doing. They weren’t together, they were supposed to live their own lives, and she had no clue why she had stayed. What was the plan if they were broken up?

“It would feel wrong to run into you and not give you a gift on your birthday,” Y/n argued, coming back around and bending her knees slightly to grab the ends of the jacket to zip it up. Jennie was drowning in the warmth that Y/n had left after her together with the scent that she wanted to bury her face in. It felt like she would maybe regret it afterwards because she was quite sure they would go back to their new lives right after parting ways again. It would feel like the break-up all over again.

“I do not expect anything from you if we aren’t toge–” Y/n didn’t seem to listen to Jennie when she grabbed her hand and made her walk beside her. She didn’t hold her hand like they always used to do, but her palm rested against Jennie’s lower back to make sure that she wasn’t getting lost anywhere.

It was crowded with people, they were flooding from everywhere and Y/n kept walking without a stop. She was stuck with her gaze on Y/n who looked down at her with a small smile. It was enough to make Jennie’s world blind and her heart bounce in a familiar beat. Had she just broken Jennie’s walls down once again, but even quicker than she did the first time? It was frustrating. She let Y/n in so easily when she should lock her out, put up millions of walls, higher than the sky, with no way in or out. 

“Y/n?”

There was so much she could tell her right now and she couldn’t tell how Y/n would respond to any of it.

“I know it’s a lot to ask for after everything, but could you do one thing for me, Jennie? To just forget everything for two hours, three tops.” Y/n interrupted all the questions Jennie would like to ask. She felt horrible to know the truth that they both agreed to something they thought the other wanted. Y/n never wanted to break up with her, but neither did she want to be an obstacle in Jennie’s life. The stupid little fights they had still hurt them both, the last thing Y/n ever wanted was to hurt Jennie, but she still somehow did. 

She knew that she should have known, and maybe she did at the back of her head since she had known Jennie for over five years. Things sometimes just didn’t go as planned.

It wasn’t hard to forget when she was with her again. Y/n made everything bad go away.

“Fine, Y/n,” she still trusted her with her life. She'd jump right back into those deep waters where her only safety was Y/n. 

“Okay, sit down right here and do not run away,” Y/n said after they had entered a convenience store. She pulled the stool out and guided Jennie to sit on it who was still busy figuring out what the girl was doing and why they had to pass so many other stores and stop at this one. With no other choice, Jennie sat and only glanced back at Y/n who disappeared between the shelves. There was slight anticipation growing in her the whole time, she stayed fiddling with her fingers as she rested her hands atop the table.

She stopped for a moment, grabbed the collar of the jacket that was oversized and pulled it up to her nose. The scent had washed off of her clothes at home, the clothes Y/n had left behind had been worn to where the scent no longer lingered on them and she had to wash them. It made Jennie curious how Y/n went through it.

Had she also been pathetically looking through endless photos in her gallery?

Drowned herself in Jennie’s scent?

Had Y/n finished the season finale of the series they had been watching together, but broke up right when the finale came out. Jennie had been waiting even if they weren’t together and would never get to know the end.

Had she been dwelling in all their plans for the future that now only was a past?

Had she been hurting just as much?

Jennie heaved a sigh and let go of the collar, reaching her hands up to her eyes as she knew that she wasn’t over Y/n. She was holding on, she was even out with Y/n even if it would feel like the break up all over again once Y/n would leave. Her fingers gently patted away the wetness that had warmed in her eyes. How did she let go of something that was securing her from falling off the ride?

It was time to stop dwelling when Y/n sat down right beside her on the vacant stool.

“Fuck, that’s hot.” The girl sucked air through her teeth and quickly put the noodle bowl down that was steaming. Jennie looked at what more she somehow managed to carry when she leaned over and dropped the things on the table.

“Since I am no chef, this is the best I could do and the ramen is how you like it.” She started while taking the ice cup and opening it. Jennie slid it over to herself and peeled off the lid fully. It was just ramen with Y/n making it fancier and better by adding more toppings; Jennie was desperate as she could never get it right since Y/n always made it for her the way Jennie loved it. It was just instant ramen, but it was her comfort food which hadn’t been the comfort she had been looking for. It would somehow suffice for now.

“Thanks.” She was a bit more than thankful, but she wasn’t sure how else she should thank her.

“Don’t thank me, it’s your birthday.” Jennie chuckled at that as she grabbed the chopsticks and looked at Y/n who poured the mango-flavoured iced tea into the cup with ice.

“Very thoughtful to drag me to a convenience store.” Y/n shook her head and picked up the cup, taking two big gulps before placing it back down.

“Yeah, God forbid I drag you to a fancy restaurant–don’t worry though…” Y/n trailed off and Jennie moved back slightly when she reached over to her. She smiled at Jennie, her face just a few inches away from Jennie’s as she reached over to the other side. Y/n’s hand reached into the right pocket of her jacket that Jennie had on while sitting on her left.

Jennie wasn’t sure what she wanted when Y/n was so close to her. One thing she was certain of was that she missed all of Y/n’s loving and caring touches, the ones that always touched her soul. Jennie missed being held in her arms, falling asleep with them around her. She missed the safety, the security that came from being in them, and the feeling of not having to be afraid to be herself because she trusted Y/n so much.

She grabbed what she was looking for with a sly grin as she pulled away. “If you celebrate, you have to celebrate right, don’t you?” Y/n let out in a more hushed tone that was still honeyed and Jennie could listen to her talking all day. That was something she had done because Y/n always had something to talk about.

The kitten parted her lips at the flask Y/n had taken out of her pocket, taking the cup down and placing it between her thighs. “Since when do you carry a flask around?” Jennie questioned, the last time she had seen Y/n with one was when they were still in college. It kind of worried her that maybe the girl had started drinking. Y/n let out a breathless chuckle, unscrewing the steel flask before filling the iced tea back up to the brim, but this time with tequila.

“Only today.” She reassured Jennie and lolled her head to the side to look at Jennie. That smile did not leave as she put the lock on, the flask back in the left pocket instead and she put the straw through the lock before mixing it up. 

Jennie rolled her eyes as she, at last, started to eat the instant ramen that tasted better than most things she had ever eaten simply because it was made by Y/n. It also was something that killed all her cravings that were caused by the alcohol and food had simply never tasted better. Y/n always knew just what Jennie needed by looking at her. Yet she had somehow missed how Jennie never truly wanted to part ways.

“Just don’t inhale everything, I want a bite before you do.” Y/n laughed when Jennie elbowed her, making Y/n squirm away. “God, you’re rude.”

“Stop being a little piece of shit, Y/n.” Jennie seriously said and looked at Y/n who was already looking at her through her lashes with the straw in her mouth. “Not cute.”

“I tried.” Y/n said in defeat and handed the large plastic cup to Jennie who slid the ramen over to her with the chopsticks. “Oh, my bite is gonna come with extra flavours since there are Jennie germs in it.” Jennie hurt her throat when she swallowed the lump of iced tea with tequila before she could spit it out because she felt that huff before she giggled.

“Stop acting imbecilic.”

“Imbecilic, big words for a 28-year-old. I can say that I’m proud of you.” Jennie rolled her eyes and watched Y/n slurp up a bite of noodles with a hum after. “So good–”

“Don’t.” Jennie stopped her before she could say something stupid again and pulled the ramen back to herself. It was all coming right back, just being with Y/n for a few minutes, starting a conversation, and she was reminded all again why she loved her so much. How she made her feel so good about herself, how she cut Jennie slack by being herself which let Jennie drop all her guards down right away and be herself too. How she was back to feeling ten years younger and like she could just be herself for the night or whenever she got back home to Y/n–used to.

“Here, the monster is coming for your mouth, Jennie.”

“You did not just say that out loud Y/n.” Jennie giggled, the younger girl holding the gimbap and guiding it towards her mouth as it was still in one piece. Y/n gasped and looked at Jennie in disbelief. “Ew, why are you being dirty-minded, Jen.” She slapped Y/n’s shoulder, her cheeks hurting from how much she had been smiling and giggling. It didn’t matter if Y/n had asked her to forget everything for a few hours, Y/n automatically made her forget everything.

“You are, I didn’t say that I had something dirty in mind.” She defended herself. The two did not care about the rest of the people who went in and out of the store, or the people passing by the window. The radio played the most recent K-pop songs to fill the store, but all they could focus on were each other's words, giggles, and stares which were numbing all the pain.

Y/n grinned and shot her eyebrows up in a manner that suggested that the next words to leave her mouth would be far from appropriate as she still held the gimbap up ready to feed the feline. “Well, you can surely open wide enough for it to fit–” Y/n squeaked at the pain when Jennie this time hit her thigh, hitting a nerve because the pain made her hunch over.

“Not fitting at all.” Y/n chuckled at the words that came from Jennie and she looked up at her as she was still hunched over. “Is the joke not fitting or the gimbap?” Jennie groaned at that and Y/n sat up straight.

“Okay, here comes the train–Better?” Y/n asked.

Jennie hummed and opened her mouth as Y/n went back to trying to feed her a bite after they both devoured the noodles together. She grabbed hold of Y/n’s writs to make sure she aimed right and at last managed to bite off a piece. The latter reached over to Jennie’s face whose cheeks were fluffed out from having her mouth full.

Her finger brushed the corner of Jennie’s lips who only turned her head more to Y/n as she was used to it. The girl always fed her, always wiped her mouth, always knew what to order, what was needed in which mood. She scooped up the grain of rice and licked it off her thumb before poking Jennie’s cheek who whined.

“You’re still as cute when you eat, God I could squish the literal life out of you until there’s a bloody explosion.”

“That raises many warnings, Y/n,” Jennie mumbled as she swallowed the food at last and watched Y/n take a bite herself while Jennie took a sip of the iced tea that they had drunk a third off. It had made Jennie more than just a bit tipsy now, the drunk slowly incoming, but she didn’t mind as she could tell that Y/n was in the same state.

“It should because if I were to use enough pressure to squeeze you, you’d die.”

Jennie widened her eyes and slowly turned her head to the side to glance at Y/n.

“Why are you saying these things?” She questioned and Y/n fed her another bite.

“I don’t know, they are just these impulsive things that leave my mouth so be careful if they become actual gestures.” Jennie shoved Y/n who was laughing yet again.

The girl always did the most random gestures of affection towards Jennie. Say these words that were somewhere between cute and concerning, but Jennie loved it all. The way she would do more than just buy her flowers, all these small things Jennie had always taken notice of. She’d go as far as to perfectly place Jennie’s slippers beside the bed so she could slip them on right away when she woke up. Now Jennie’s slippers were mostly discarded messily because she always kicked them off when getting into bed with no Y/n to fix them.

“Hold on, or we will get there next week.” Y/n stopped and let go of Jennie’s hand that was clasped with hers, the older one swaying them back and forth as she was walking in a mix of steps, skips, and whatever else she was doing with her feet, dancing her way to the next destination which was slowing them down. Y/n needed to be there on time. 

“You got me drunk.” Jennie sang out, shuffling in place with her feet.

“We’re in the same boat, Miss Kim.” The said girl giggled as she had been slowing them down by doing everything but walking. Y/n pulled Jennie to her by the jacket and she crashed into her.

“Where are you taking me?” Jennie questioned and Y/n turned around.

“Get on my back first.” She ushered and bent her knees.

“Want me to mount you like a stallion?” Y/n snorted at that.

“Who is dirty-minded now?”

“It’s a disease carried by you,” Jennie replied and grabbed hold of Y/n’s shoulders with her hands. She huffed and Y/n stumbled a step before managing to stabilise herself with her arms wrapping around Jennie’s thighs. 

“Now I’m carrying a parasite–ouch.” Y/n winced when she got gently bonked at the top of her head before she looked to her side. Jennie peeked in with a smile on her lips, her arms loosely wrapped around Y/n’s shoulders whose eyes were creasing from her smile. 

“Well? Walk, horsie.” Jennie ordered and gently nudged Y/n with her heel as if she were an actual horse.

She did start walking, making it out of the Gangnam district much quicker despite her legs needing some stabilising to not fall as her coordination was slightly off and she was carrying Jennie. The girl on her back rested her cheek against the side of her head, snuggling closer to Y/n to keep her warm as she still had her jacket on. She had already planned how to end up with the jacket at home because she knew that Y/n would walk her to the entrance of her apartment building at the end of the night. She never let Jennie walk alone at night, she’d always pick her up with the car if Jennie didn’t drive, or she’d walk with her. It didn't matter if Jennie was with friends or if Y/n was busy, she would always get there. 

“Y/n…” Jennie mumbled, looking ahead as they continued to walk, Y/n adjusted the girl on her back as they were close to the destination. She hummed, glancing down at Jennie’s fingers to see the girl tugging on them and she could tell that whatever it was it was something that made Jennie worried or uneasy. “Did you–did you try seeing anyone during these four months?” She asked, dreading the answer because she had no clue how Y/n had spent these past four months. If she had spent two whole months crying, a month trying to leave the house without bags under her eyes or if she skipped all of it.

Y/n chuckled, giving her thigh a squeeze that made Jennie whine at the ticklish sensation. “God no, I’ve been staying with my mum at this big age and working from home. I didn’t leave the house and just stayed with mum even if she continuously scolded me.” She admitted. She hadn’t even thought about another woman aside from Jennie. Y/n couldn’t tell how many hours she spent in bed crying while listening to the 'Disintegration album by The Cure'.

Jennie felt relief wash over her to know that she hadn’t been the only one. It made her feel less of a fool and made her feel better. It was confirmation that they both took it hard because they both loved each other.

“What was she scolding you for?” She curiously asked.

“Not obvious for your little pea brain?” Y/n questioned.

“Never mind then,” Jennie grumbled, rolling her eyes and Y/n stopped walking.

“Get off me now–” Y/n wiggled Jennie off of her, the girl sliding back down onto her feet, her hands letting go of Y/n’s shoulders when she was fully off. It felt cold and if they were both honest neither of them wanted to pull away. “She scolded me for leaving you and said that I would never get the family ring to propose to the next girl I would meet because you were the only right one and worthy of having it.” It made Jennie’s heart drop as Y/n grabbed her hand in hers, intertwining their fingers. It hurt, it hurt them both badly to know that the planned future was in the past.

They had both agreed to wait for marriage and a family until they were at a perfect place in their lives. There was no such thing as a perfect place in their lives when it had been perfect ever since they met. The only thing they had to wait for was to finish studying and have stable enough jobs to start a family. Nothing could have been more perfect and they had waited long enough for a perfect moment to never come now.

Jennie sighed and looked down at her feet as she walked in sync with Y/n. The realisation of actually being 28 now hit her, and if she would ever move on, she’d be too old to start that family of two kids. Unless she would rush into it all. The anxiety started to eat at her as she had never processed what being 28 meant. What did it matter if she was working her dream job if she was earning money that let her live comfortably, if she was in a stable place in her life? When she wasn’t even close to stable in her love life that was dead.

“We’re here.” Jennie looked up from the void under her that was ready to swallow her as it had started to drag her down and had invited her to suffer with endless anticipatory fear. Over the five years she had spent her birthdays with Y/n, she had managed to forget how depressing they were. How anxious they had always made her. Another year had just passed by and there were things Jennie had yet to do. She had forgotten how much she hated birthdays.

Y/n took out her phone and looked at the time it was 11:09 P.M. and Jennie gasped when Y/n tugged on her. “Quick before it’s too late.” Jennie found herself running towards the Banpodaegyo bridge whose neon lights were glowing. People were walking along the bridge, but Jennie and Y/n were running like their lives depended on it.

“I’m gonna fall,” Jennie whined as her legs were barely keeping up with Y/n’s longer ones, to add she was still under the influence and her running felt bumpy and very unsteady. They made it onto the bridge, Jennie tried to slow down, but Y/n did not let her and continued to run. “Y/n!” The girl let out in panic, making Y/n look over her shoulder at Jennie who was doing her best to keep up. The two were too occupied to care about anyone who would glance their way. Her shorter legs were messily trying to run and she was sure she'd run into something if Y/n wasn't guiding her as she felt herself leaning to one side more. 

It soon turned into giggles and Y/n finally stopped, letting Jennie crash into her when she turned around and yanked her into her. Her arms wrapped around the panting girl as they made it to the middle of the bridge. “I could have died.” She tiredly complained, heaving for breath as she was not the best athlete after drinking. Y/n chuckled and grabbed hold of Jennie’s waist, gently pulling her away and looking down at her as she looked up.

“You’re being dramatic–” Y/n said and turned Jennie to face the Han River, the kitten leaned against the railing and looked over the dark river where the moon was being illuminated. She let out a sigh, taking in the scenery while fog left her mouth from the small pants of air. 

The younger one busied herself with digging through the pocket of her loose jeans. She got nothing and put her hand into the left one and finally stumbled upon what she was looking for. “Okay, here–you have to throw the coin into the water and make a wish, it’s about to be 11:11 and it’s your birthday so whatever you wish for has to come true.” Jennie turned her head and looked at Y/n with some confusion before letting her eyes fall onto the coin in Y/n’s palm.

“Y/n, I’m not five–” She was cut off by Y/n who took Jennie’s hand and put the cold coin in her hold.

“You are never too old for wishes, I have never heard of that law.” The younger seriously said and Jennie sighed as she turned back to the river. She looked down at the coin in her palm before she clutched it in her hand while Y/n leaned beside her and waited patiently. “Make sure to close your eyes, it’s 11 now.” She reminded her and watched how Jennie closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. Despite trying to protest at first she seemed to be in deep thought as her brows creased slightly and she was focusing hard.

Jennie threw the coin and opened her eyes as she stood on her toes to follow it with her eyes, but lost sight after a second as it got swallowed by the darkness. “When will it come true?” She asked and looked to her side at Y/n who was also looking over the railing too.

“You have to wait and it will come, could be in the next hour, day, week, or years, but at some point, it will come true.” Y/n reassured her before she pulled away from the railing. This time she took out her earphones, putting one in her ear.

Jennie frowned as she now was invested in the whole ordeal and wanted to see if it really would come true. Would she have to wait years?

“Come on,” Y/n grabbed hold of Jennie’s hand and the girl was somewhat hesitant to leave now that she had made a wish. Scared it wouldn’t come true if she left.

“But it will come true, right?” She asked to make sure while taking the one earphone that was handed to her.

“It’s the best day to make a wish since it’s your birthday, so obviously yes.” Jennie took one last glance before she clung to Y/n’s arm.

‘L$D - A$AP Rocky’

The two walked in silence through the rest of the bridge, rather admiring the moment in silence than filling it with chatter while listening to the music. The peace still managed to create memories as Jennie felt nostalgic and she wasn’t sure if it was because she was walking with Y/n again or not. Her side leaned into Y/n who put her arm around her shoulders as they walked instead. By the time they made it to the end of the bridge, the next song started playing and Jennie was so familiar with them that it confused her.

‘As Long as You Follow - Fleetwood Mac’

“You won’t mind if I take you to one more place?” Y/n questioned and Jennie looked up at her with docile eyes. She blinked them as they had glossed over and there was a lump in her throat for whatever reason. God, she did not want it to end. Jennie wanted this night to last forever. If she could somehow make it last forever she would do just that. Everything to not have Y/n leave her by the end of the night. Jennie shook her head as Y/n could take her to the edge of the world and she wouldn’t mind, she could drag her across all continents and she would be content.

The song was warming Jennie's soul, the lump pushing itself in her throat and she couldn't get over it. She almost wanted to curse Y/n out for playing Fleetwood Mac as they always listened to the band together. Y/n especially loved them. It was as if Y/n wanted to make her cry by playing this song and Jennie was forcing the tears back despite a few strays falling only to what she thought was her knowledge, forgetting that Y/n noticed everything about her. Her lips quivered and her heart thudded heavily. 

Y/n hauled a cab and opened the door for Jennie who was citing all the songs.

‘Wot’s…Uh the Deal - Pink Floyd’

All of them weren’t necessarily songs Jennie listened to, but what Y/n listened to as she had a wide range of music tastes. She could still remember how excited Y/n would get to play them to Jennie on the guitar, acoustic or electric, it didn’t matter. She would sit down with Jennie and teach her how to play certain songs and help the girl get better at the string instrument. Sit right behind her and teach her each fret, tab, and chord that had to be played. She would always be so patient. 

‘10:37 - Beach House’

Her eyes gazed through the window as she held onto Y/n’s hand who had her arm around her shoulders. The night slowly passed, people still roamed the streets, and lights turned red before turning green, Jennie only watched how the time passed while the car moved through the streets of Seoul.

‘Five String Serenade - Mazzy Star’

If she couldn’t make this night last forever, she would like time the time to pass by slowly. To make it last as long as possible, or for the road to never end and sit in Y/n’s arms her whole life. That way all her worries about her uncertain future would disappear. She would disappear in these songs while loving whatever simple things came to her as long as they were from Y/n. 

‘What kind of love - Childish Gambino’

“Where are we going?” Jennie asked at last as she hadn’t heard where Y/n was taking them. She just followed. Y/n gave her a cheeky smile as she looked down at Jennie. Her hand untangled itself from Jennie’s two and she used it to brush away some of the hair that was falling in her face before letting her hand fall back down as it was resting around Jennie. The girl clung back onto it, playing with Y/n’s fingers. “You will see in a second ‘cause we’re almost there.” Jennie pouted at that and rested her head on Y/n’s shoulder.

‘Teenager - Deftones’

She started to feel like she had been thrown in a time capsule as the view of the Seoul tower was much more clear now. Jennie moved from Y/n’s hold and looked closer at where exactly they were heading. Her sight was somewhat blurry from the alcohol that she had consumed, but she knew that she wasn’t drunk enough to be this delusional.

‘Bel Air - Lana Del Rey’

“Why are we stopping by the cable cars?” She questioned and looked back at Y/n who paid the man who had driven them from the bridge to the cable cars that went up to the tower. Jennie wouldn’t be questioning it all too much if it hadn’t been for the fact that it was closed.

“I rather take a cable car than walk a dark trail at night, Jen,” Y/n said with a chuckle and opened the door before getting out. She held it open and Jennie got out with the girl’s help, bidding one last goodbye to the driver before closing the door to the car. With that she led the way, still dragging a confused Jennie with her.

“It’s closed though.” She deadpanned. It closed at 11 P.M. and it was 11:45 P.M. and Jennie’s birthday was almost over. She was starting to feel like Cinderella and soon enough she’d leave and leave everything behind her. Maybe this would be her last time with Y/n. It didn’t add up in her head and she didn’t want it. Although she felt like she wasn’t the one to make this decision, she was too scared to do it. What if she would get rejected?

“I helped a client invest and win a lot of money. He’s connected to the news Channel who owns it and since he was going to give me a bonus I asked if he could instead fix this for me.” Y/n explained and the girl frowned.

‘When the Sun Hits - Slowdive’

“Okay, and how did you time it all so well that it happened to be now that you ran into me?” Jennie questioned with some suspicion. Y/n chuckled, the kitten looking at her to see the dimples showing and she squeezed her smaller hand.

“Hey, I told you that I hoped I would run into you earlier and so with that hope, I picked this date and if I hadn’t run into you, I would have gone with one of my friends or alone.” Y/n shrugged it off as she knew that Jennie would realise soon enough as the strongest effects of the alcohol had slowly started to subside. They were approached by a guard and Y/n confirmed her identity as Jennie was digging in her blurry brain for what it exactly was.

It wasn’t long until they had made it up the stairs and the cable car was open and waiting. Y/n let Jennie get on first before getting on after the door closed. It was in queue when the next song started playing and Y/n laughed.

‘How You Remind Me - Nickelback’

“It doesn’t count if you aren’t screaming the lyrics Jennie—And this is how you remind me.”

“Y/n…”Jennie shied away like she always did.

“Come on, it’s just us—” Jennie looked unconvinced for a second as they sat in the cable car that was riding up over the dark forest, over the empty road. She giggled as Y/n pulled out the invincible guitar as the pre-chorus started. It was somewhat between childish, but also freeing as Y/n turned up the volume. “Sing or you are flying out.” Y/n threatened.

There truly never were any reasons to hold back when she was with Y/n and they always screamed songs until they lost their voices.

“It’s not like you to say sorry!”

Maybe it was because she was still under the influence, but it could be Y/n’s influence or the alcohol. She found herself singing the whole song with Y/n, knowing every word of it while sharing the invincible microphone with Y/n. The second Y/n laid her eyes on Jennie the girl had that big gummy smile that she adored so much. It was a smile she always wanted to be the cause of and she knew that it wouldn’t be possible if they were away. Unless Jennie still smiled this big whenever she looked back at the memories they had made together.

It was that feeling of being back in college, of being back together with Y/n. Screaming songs, wandering nights, getting lost in what love was for them. It was overwhelmingly good and it was sentimental whenever she looked back at those times. They had never been lost as she knew that Y/n let her live it all over and over again, but that was when they were together. Love was something only Y/n could make her feel on this type of level. The one that healed all the time, surely forgetting all the suffering she had done the past four months. 

“All we need to do now is start a band together,” she found herself giggling at Y/n’s words, burying her face in her shoulder as they took out the earphones. She wrapped her arm around Jennie, rubbing her back and unable to even try to let the smile fall. Compared to the Jennie she first cornered in the bathroom, it was like seeing the Jennie she left, being able to bring her right back to life. The Jennie she never should have left even if they both agreed that it would be better. At times there is no such thing as the right thing to do, but possibly people could forgive the mistake when all she had in mind was the best for the girl.

Jennie heaved a sigh and suddenly, as if lightning struck her and woke her up, she realised what it was. Her lips parted, but before she could say anything they had reached the top and their fingers intertwined as they walked out. With a man from staff, they were led to the tower and then to the elevator.

Y/n looked down at Jennie, she kind of figured that the woman had figured it out by now. She looked almost devastated as her gaze was on the floor.

She felt like crying, she wanted to hate Y/n for doing something like this to her, but she couldn’t. This was probably the best gift she could have received, but the biggest problem was that she didn’t have Y/n. They walked out of the elevator, it was silent with just the two of them and Jennie let go of Y/n’s hand as she walked over to the windows. The whole thing was overwhelming as she was keeping her tears at bay and bit her lower lip, taking in a shaky breath as she looked over the view of Seoul at night in the tower that was closed to everyone but them…again.

Y/n put her hands in her pockets to warm them and stood just a step behind Jennie, being able to catch the woman’s reflection in the window. She had realised and Y/n had been expecting Jennie to get emotional because she was always a soft and emotional kitten.

“Those were all the songs we listened to that night in the exact order.” Jennie pointed out as she realised why the songs brought her so much nostalgia and why the order of them rang so many bells in her head. She wouldn’t have noticed otherwise, but the order was just right and now they had screamed the lyrics in that cable car once again while reaching the top. It all came rushing to Jennie.

“I know,” the taller girl simply replied, but she had hoped the whole night that Jennie would realise.

Now it made sense why they walked past so many convenience stores before they at last walked into that specific one.

“But you said that you put on shuffle with over 5k songs in your liked ones,” Jennie mumbled and lifted her head to catch Y/n’s reflection. The view was mesmerising, but what Y/n had done, what she had given her as a birthday present was much more meaningful and mesmerising than the view. It made Jennie turn around to look at her, a pout resting on her lips as her cheeks were stained with a few tear streaks.

“I made sure to put them all in a playlist until we stopped listening, which was when we left the cable car back in 2018, January 16th when we first met and I stole you from a club.”

Jennie jutted out her lower lip as Y/n had always been thoughtful, had always done small gestures that meant the world to her, and had been loving and caring. She hated that she had to be all those things when they weren’t together. It wasn’t fair. “Why?” Her voice cracked and her nose pricked before the tears won and spilled over her eyes.

Y/n gave her a soft and gentle smile, taking her hands out of her pockets. Her hands came up to Jennie’s face as she cupped her cheeks which were cold and soft in her hold, wet with tears that were warm on her cold skin that was tinted a light pink like her nose. She leaned into her hold with a sniffle, the ice on her skin melting at how good it felt to be in the warmth that was home.

“I kind of figured out that night that I would marry you and you seemed to be in bliss because of the night—so I thought that if I were to mess up big along the way I could replay the night for you and make it good again by doing exactly what I did the first time we met and then got together shortly after.” The girl admitted. She had regretted every moment away from Jennie because what she thought was right truly wasn’t. Her last hope was to show Jennie what they were together and hope that even if she suggested it, Jennie would want her right back. It was a stupid mistake, but everyone made them. Y/n just hoped that it wasn’t too late to fix what was broken.

She at least didn't want Jennie to hate her, hoping all she could leave were good memories after her. 

Nothing was broken though. They were only broken away from each other, but it was like kintsugi the second they were right by each other again.

“I regret even suggesting it but I was thinking of you—” Jennie didn’t want to hear it, she didn’t blame Y/n. She had seen it from Y/n’s point of view and she knew how she always put Jennie first.

“I know that you were. I think we needed to be away from each other to truly realise how much we need one another to never take the other for granted or do anything to lose each other. To remember how much good we brought each other.” Jennie mumbled and Y/n huffed in relief through her nose as Jennie had always been understanding of her thinking and how she didn’t mean to make things more complicated than needed. It was enough for Jennie to forget the bad and only remember how much good they had brought, how much that had changed their lives in only good ways and she would forever cherish that.

She let go of Jennie and pulled her in for a hug, the shorter girl wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist. She shed her last tears into her shoulder while Y/n soothed her, kissing the side of her head, and rubbing her back while holding her firmly. Jennie couldn’t tell what she was crying over anymore, but the relief made it impossible not to cry. She was still trying to comprehend how they after six years did everything they did the first time they met on Jennie’s birthday.

How Y/n somehow convinced Jennie to leave the club with her (she forgot safety the second she saw the girl).

She had dragged Jennie to that exact convenience store where they ate the same things, and Y/n mixed mango iced tea with tequila that they shared.

When they left and got to the bridge where Jennie made the wish and threw a coin in. A wish that came true because her drunk self wished for Y/n to ask her out despite meeting just an hour prior. 

How they listened to music after (those exact tracks) and took a cab.

The only difference was that Y/n had managed to lie their way into letting them take the cable car and be in the tower for just a few minutes.

After that, Y/n walked Jennie to her college dorm and got her number before they parted ways.

They had taken a cab back to the place they used to share where Jennie stayed alone now. Y/n took the elevator up with Jennie who was now opening the door and as she did– “My baby boy.” Y/n cooed as Kuma ran out barking and jumping at her legs as she hadn’t seen him in four whole months. She picked him up, moving her face away as he tried to lick at her.

“I feel bad for even saying this, but he stayed every day whining by the door and waiting for you,” Jennie admitted as she stood in the door frame, removing her sneakers and pushing them aside. She looked at Y/n who was crouched on the floor with the dog going crazy in her arms. The little puppy they had gotten together because they had still been young and wanted some kind of family together. 

“I am so sorry, Kuma.” She apologised, feeling almost just as bad for leaving him as she did with Jennie.

Jennie bit her lower lip, watching the two as Y/n put him down, but he started to run around her and barked some more. Kuma wasn’t letting Y/n go, just like Jennie didn’t want to let go. “You could come in, Y/n…” She suggested and Y/n looked from the floor, a glint in her eyes as they trailed from Jennie’s legs, over her whole body before they got to her eyes.

“Nightcap?”

“Yes, just get inside.” Y/n chuckled and picked up the dog before stepping inside the familiar apartment. It was a home, it used to be at least, but what made it a home was Jennie. She slid off her shoes as Jennie walked further inside. Her feet led her to the living room that still looked the same and the other woman wasn’t there yet as she trailed to another part of the apartment. She slumped down onto the couch and put Kuma in her lap.

Her eyes landed on the marble coffee table and she leaned closer while petting the dog. She chuckled at the thought that came to her mind. “Jennie?” She called for the woman, and the sound of her light footsteps came from behind as she left the kitchen. She hummed and Y/n turned to her, taking the whiskey on the rocks that Jennie handed her. “Did you manifest this?” She questioned and looked back down at the Polaroid photo of her right by the candles.

Jennie groaned at that as she saw how it looked. “No! I did not. I like candles and it just happened that I left it there before leaving the apartment.” She explained in her defence. The photo had been behind her phone case for all those months until she left today with the plan to hook up with someone. God forbid one of her friends would see her still carrying that picture after she purposely made Y/n look like she was a jerk behind closed doors—she wasn’t. Now it was lying by the candles and looked like she had been sitting and manifesting all of this.

“So, I’m the only one?” Y/n questioned as she took out her phone and placed it upside down on the coffee table. A polaroid of Jennie in the case and she took a sip of the cold hard liquor while glancing at Jennie who walked around to sit on the couch. The jacket she got to borrow was discarded as she left it in the kitchen just to make sure that Y/n would forget it.

She rolled her eyes and pulled her knees up to her chest before taking a sip of the golden brown liquid that hit her taste buds. It made her somewhat wince as she was always between liking and hating whiskey depending on the brand. “First of all, I took it out today, second, I'm not obliged to carry it around,” Y/n gave her a look as she knew that Jennie was trying to get on her nerves. She loved playing those little games where Y/n would piss her off and she’d do it back. Part of why she told her friends things that weren’t true.

Jennie loved being petty like that and was getting back at Y/n right now.

“So, you’re not going to put it back?” She questioned, taking sips from the crystal whiskey glass, the ice clanked around in their glasses while they looked at each other.

“Nope, it would get in the way, wouldn’t it?” Y/n helped Kuma down on the floor before she reached back for her phone. Jennie watched the girl with intensity and felt something boil in her when she saw Y/n open her case. “What’re you doing?” She seriously asked. Through the months just the thoughts of Y/n seeing someone else made Jennie kick and scream in emotions that were green and red. She was ready to pay people to stay away from her and hire people to pull every person Y/n would try to be with apart. 

“Your picture will get in the way.” She shrugged, quickly taking yet another sip of the whiskey and putting the glass down. It let her use both her hands and Jennie found herself placing her glass down too. It was boiling inside Jennie and she wanted to strangle Y/n for even uttering those words.

“No, you don’t get to do that.” Her tone went into that angry one that Y/n knew. Not angry even, emotions she only felt when it came to Y/n who she couldn’t stand thinking about being with anyone but her. She would be jealous, she’d die in jealousy, she lost it when she saw Y/n being approached by women who had clear intentions of flirting–she knew that Y/n at times gave in to the flirting just to see Jennie jealous and angry.

“I think I do if I want to find someone to hook up with–” Jennie clenched her jaw and moved onto her knees as she faced Y/n. She tried to reach for her phone but the girl held it away from her, making Jennie crawl to get closer and try to reach for it. “Weren’t those your intentions tonight when you went out and took out my picture? Oh, I clearly remember what Lisa said in that bathroom.”

“Stop that.” Jennie snapped as Y/n was reaching to remove the polaroid. It made Jennie grab hold of her arm with both hands and tackle it down onto the couch.

“You little bitch.” Y/n grumbled as Jennie snatched the phone out of her hold, lying across her lap. She tried to reach for it with her right hand since Jennie was lying with her upper body on her left one. The kitten bit Y/n’s hand when she tried to take it, busy adjusting the picture so it would be back in place. She hissed and pulled away to see a bite mark on her skin right under the knuckle of her thumb.

“Hey!” Y/n exclaimed.

“Hey.” Jennie mocked and tried to open Y/n’s phone only for her face ID to not work. She gasped as her face ID had been removed, she tried the pin, but it wasn’t working either.

“Jennie.”

“Jennie.”

“Give me my phone before you block it.”

“Give me my phone before you block it. Who do you have on here that you changed your PIN and removed my face ID?” Jennie continued to push Y/n’s buttons who had been pushing hers. That brattiness came right out as she was ready to give her attitude because she couldn’t phantom that Y/n had done these things. Furiously, she continued to guess the pin with all the important dates and numbers Y/n liked.

“I told you something.” Y/n tried to reach for it again while trying to wiggle out her other hand that Jennie had in a death grip. It only got smacked away.

“I told you something. How ‘bout you do something about it?” Jennie pushed and looked over her shoulder with a frown to ask about the pincode. “What’s–Ahh, Y/n.” She whined when the palm collided against her ass making her squirm at the pain. Jennie had almost forgotten about how horny she had been until that pain shot to her clit instead. She felt somewhat embarrassed and her head fell as she kicked her feet with another whine. It was so unexpected that she had no clue how to react or feel. 

“Stop being a pain in the ass.”

It went silent and Y/n waited for what Jennie would say or do. That smack just came naturally and she hadn’t controlled it. Whether Jennie was pissed or not, that spanking wasn’t something she could take responsibility for when Jennie worked her nerves so well.

“Stop being a pain in the ass.” She mocked once again, imitating Y/n who groaned. The little giggle that came from Jennie who lifted her head didn’t go unnoticed.

“Are you laughing?”

“Are you laughing?” Jennie knew exactly how much Y/n hated it when she would imitate her without an end. The thoughts made her lift her ass slightly, wriggling in Y/n’s lap as she pushed it out. There was a tension between her legs and she wanted it gone.

“You’re so annoying.”

“You’re so annoying. Cry about it, Y/n.” She hissed at the girl. It was soon followed by something that was between a groan and a moan as Y/n spanked her ass once more which made Jennie raise her hips and writhe into the couch cushion. That sensation made her cunt throb and slowly start leaking as she clenched her thighs for some relief. It was hard to control as her ass purposely tried to invite Y/n for more as it was turning her on.

“Tell me what it is, Jennie. Why do you need this?” Y/n questioned and looked at Jennie who was still clutching the phone. She huffed and lifted her head, looking over her shoulder and at Y/n. A little smile on her lips, one that was mischievous.

“I did some things you wouldn’t be happy about–been a very bad girl.”

Y/n gripped at the underside of her thigh just under her ass, squeezing it and making Jennie squirm at how ticklish it was on her sensitive thighs.

“You have?” Jennie bit her lower lip and nodded her head.

“What did you do?”

Jennie purposely lifted her hips and arched her back, being on her knees with her hands stretched out in front of her, chest pressing into the couch. She let go of the phone, Y/n’s eyes on the ass that was in the air and she moved her hand up to it. The kitten jutted her lower lip out in feigned despair. “I’ve been out the whole night looking for someone who would fuck my needy little pussy because the toys haven’t been able to satisfy me…” She looked even sadder now as if she's been having the hardest time of her life because of these things and what she said after seemed to be even more devastating for her. “There hasn’t been any cum in me for so long, no one to fill me, breed me, no cum for me to clean up–I’ve been feeling so useless and empty.” She mumbled, with tears brimming in her eyes.

“So, it’s not my fault for looking for someone to do it,” Jennie added in her defence. The heat shot right to her clit again, her ass burned in the best way possible as she could only moan when Y/n spanked her again.

“Y/n, it’s not fair!” She cried out despite enjoying it. The latter was growing hard, thinking about Jennie’s snug and pink pussy that she’s missed being inside of. The one she missed abusing, filling with cum, if not her other holes. Jennie loved it all, she especially loved cleaning up the cum that leaked out of her after.

“How is it not fair? I’m not the one who's been walking around like I’m in heat and looking for strangers to fuck me.” Her hand ran over Jennie’s inner thighs before she made it to the girl’s pussy which was covered by the black cargo pants. It was enough to make Jennie whine and try to rub her throbbing cunt against the hand that cupped her heat. Y/n’s other hand stroked along Jennie’s bare spine which was warm and arched to show off her ridges.

“It’s my birthday.” Jennie slyly pointed out.

“I’m supposed to give in because of that? Give you a free pass?” Y/n asked, gently rubbing Jennie’s clothed cunt. The girl desperately tried to push her hips more into the hand that removed pressure every time she tried. It was keeping her on the edge as she pathetically continued to try and hump at Y/n's hand.

“Yes. Please creampie my pink and tight little pussy and make me a mommy tonight.” The erection was now straining against Y/n’s jeans as the offer was one she did not want to pass on despite it giving Jennie a free pass. Her brain cells reasoned with each other, agreeing on it being Jennie’s birthday even if it was past 12, but it didn’t count until they went to sleep and woke up. Her eyes gazed into Y/n’s, practically daring her to do it.

“Get up,” never in her life had Y/n seen Jennie get up so fast. The girl always liked to take her time simply because she wanted to or because she wanted to annoy Y/n. The giggly and horny Jennie ran towards the bedroom with Y/n taking long strides right after her.

The bedroom was also the same with Jennie on the bed unzipping her pants. “Hey, hey, slow down,” Y/n complained and the feline pouted when her hands were pushed away from the fly of her cargo pants.

“I’m so horny though.”

“I can tell that much,” Y/n commented with her hands pulling Jennie up to sit. Her arms wrapped around Y/n’s shoulders and she pulled her down, hands gripped at her waist and she got her breath taken away. Jennie melted and healed when she finally had Y/n’s lips against hers again. She didn’t want to wait when she tilted her head and opened her mouth for the tongue to push against her. It tasted of whiskey, it was just as intoxicating and was washing over her body, injecting itself deep within her veins.

One person could only satisfy the other.

Jennie couldn’t even satisfy herself when she was horny. Y/n knew just how to eat her out, stuff her with cock, fuck her, make her orgasm and beg for more.

She swallowed Y/n’s tongue, sucking on it and the girl groaned when Jennie’s hand came down from her shoulder and rubbed at her cock through the pants. It was making Jennie’s clit throb painfully, just feeling Y/n’s cock was making her try to clench her thighs that Y/n stood between. Both her hands went to the bulge, rubbing at the outline while undoing the zipper with her other while Y/n threaded her fingers through Jennie’s hair.

“Please, please–” Y/n cut Jennie off who pulled away and was about to plead for her to start fucking her.

“I will, but you have to show off for me first.” She pried Jennie’s hands away from the hem of her jeans and pulled her up onto her feet. “I know it’s your birthday, but you said yourself that you were a bad girl, so this is the least you can do.” Y/n ushered and smiled at Jennie as the girl squinted her eyes.

The girl was determined to show Y/n exactly what she walked out from. Her eyes were laced with seductiveness even if the girl was stalling her orgasm. The girl reached into the pocket of her pants and took out her phone, Y/n smiled bigger and leaned back against her palms as the smart home speakers started to play Champagne by The Weeknd . Jennie turned around and tossed her phone onto the dresser.

Her eyes watched Jennie’s every move and her fingers grabbed hold of the small piece that was tied at her side to hold the shirt against her body. She pulled it, slowly, Y/n’s eyes stuck on the slim back and just watching her was enough to make Y/n’s chest heave even more. Jennie undid it, her hands running over her body, tugging up the open-back shirt with her before letting go as it fell back down. Y/n waited in anticipation, almost regretting it as she couldn’t wait for Jennie to remove the shirt and turn so she could see her chest.

Her body gently moved to the music, her fingers ran over her arm and over to the one strap before she gently tugged it down. The other hand ran under her shirt towards the other strap. She made sure to let out a light hum to let Y/n know that she ran over her breast before she reached the strap. Jennie slid them down her shoulders, the shirt fell with a soft thud to the floor.

She had yet to turn around though.

Instead, she finished undoing her pants and proceeded to bend over with her fingers hooked around the hem. It couldn’t have gone slower, the way she slowly started to pull them down her ass, revealing more and more of the flesh and lacy material of her black cheeky underwear. They went up her ass as she got the pants under her cheeks. Her ass was plump and pushed right out with her puffy pussy, the woman’s back arched and her eyes coming to peek over her shoulder. Her feline eyes were clouded by lust and she looked back in front of her as Y/n looked hypnotised.

She pulled them further down, revealing her creamy thighs inch by inch while making sure to show off how agile she was by slowly bending herself in half. It wasn’t until they were resting by her calves that Jennie started to get down on her knees to the music. The girl was holding back from dragging Jennie to bed now. She got on her knees, her back straight and showing off her perfect posture as she slid into a side-sitting position with her legs on one side (left), the pants fully discarded now. Her hand came over behind her and dragged her hair to one side of her shoulder, looking to the side while doing so. The movements were soft.

She moved her legs further, taking them in front of her and spreading them open. Her palms planted behind her and slowly slid against the rug, reclining herself back. It was hypnotising, her chest at last coming into view, more and more until she was lying on her back. Jennie loved showing off her body, especially to Y/n and no one else. Her body was just for Y/n and whether it was her birthday or not, a striptease was just as satisfying to her as it was to Y/n. (She was also aware that she had to pay for what she did when trying to look for someone else.)

She couldn’t begin to explain how much her clit started to throb when she caught the look on Y/n’s face. The wetness was gushing as she loved being admired by Y/n. It was almost enough to get off for Jennie. Her hand came between her legs, her hips moved in a fluid wave like motion when she whined them into the fingers that brushed over the slick material, fingers threading into the rug as her eyes closed. She continued to run her hand up her body, fingers feather-likely running over her skin which made her chest heave and body move. A soft moan slipped past her lips when she brushed over her nipple until she reached her throat.

Jennie was quick and agile in the way she smoothly turned from her back and onto her stomach. Her eyes were almost predatory the way she looked up at Y/n while slowly pushing herself up, ass coming up first with hands stretched out in front of her until she pushed herself forward and was standing on all fours.

Slowly she crawled the small distance like a cat over to Y/n, her hips moving, her back still arched. Jennie reached the girl and got on her knees while looking at her through her lashes, her hands grabbed hold of Y/n’s knees, pulling her legs apart to get between them. In one smooth motion, like waves, she slid up, getting on her feet and coming face to face with Y/n, her hands holding onto Y/n’s shoulders.

“Am I excused for being bad?” Jennie questioned, her chest heaving, as if she ran a marathon, but the arousal was just getting overwhelming. She could feel how sticky it was between her legs, everything spilling and smearing on her inner thighs. The underwear piece was ruined. Y/n licked her lips and grabbed her hips, looking down at Jennie’s chest, her nipples perky, her breasts plump.

“More than excused—you deserve to not only get your pussy stuffed but also eaten.” There was that vocal fry in Y/n’s voice that Jennie knew so well. It meant that she would get her pussy messily devoured. She squealed when Y/n got up and put Jennie on the bed, she pushed her back and leaned down. Fingers threaded into her hair when she attached her lips to Jennie’s chest first.

It was eliciting small whines and gasps, the tongue swirling her nipple, teeth gently tugging, the other being roughly groped the way she liked it. Y/n wrapped her mouth around as much soft flesh as possible and sucked before licking. Jennie’s hips were pathetically bucking at the heat that was bubbling in her stomach because of it. “Y/n!” She cried out at the way her nipple was pinched between Y/n’s fingers, the girl tugged on the bud after and started to kiss down to Jennie’s cleavage.

“Please, I promise, I taste so good,” Jennie begged as Y/n was kissing down her stomach. The kitten squirmed when her nipple got flicked, the bud more swollen and red now as Y/n had abused the sensitive nub that was stiff.

“Have you been cleaning up your messes lately?” Y/n asked with a smirk, glancing up at Jennie who had her head thrown back with her back arching, hips desperately pushing into Y/n. She whined, not wanting to answer the embarrassing question as she had been feral trying to fuck herself right only to make a mess but not orgasm hard enough. This time she cried, slightly kicking her feet when Y/n twisted the same nipple again.

“Answer, Jen.”

“I lick my fingers clean because they get so messy.” She admitted in a whine, her cheeks even more flushed as it was now just flowing out of her. Jennie always got so wet, and someone had to clean it after. Y/n was well aware of how Jennie would always leak with juices. The videos she’d send of playing with her pink pussy when Y/n wasn’t there to eat her out, making sure to show how she would lick up the sticky mess of her fingers after getting as much as possible on them. She loved sucking Y/n’s cock, especially to have cum shoot into her mouth that she’d swallow.

“You want me to taste you?” Y/n continued to tease as she was on her knees and Jennie pushed herself up. A look of desperation on her face, tears welling in her eyes as it was hurting now. “Yes.” She watched Y/n who hooked her fingers around her underwear and she started to tug them down. They clung to her wet cunt, pulling a sticky mess with them as Y/n peeled them off and dropped the ruined material on the floor.

“All for you.” Jennie surely invited the girl who was on her knees in front of her by spreading her legs, her hand coming in between her legs. She bit her lower lip as Y/n watched her use her fingers to spread her glistening and puffy folds. Her hole was clenching in greediness as her arousal was slowly leaking out of it, running down her ass and onto the sheets. She ran them over to her clit, showing the swollen bud by pulling back the hood. Y/n smiled and gently removed Jennie’s fingers as she had shown off her cunt enough.

The girl waiting, finally in the only suitable outfit on a day like this, in her birthday suit.

“I will make sure to take it all.” Y/n reassured her and Jennie’s hand gripped onto her hair while Y/n moved Jennie’s leg to wrap it around her shoulder. The girl groaned as Jennie forcefully pulled on her hair and shoved her face fully into her cunt. She gasped, squirming and grinding her hips into Y/n’s face when she licked right up along her slit, tongue spreading her lips. The taste washed over Y/n’s tongue, it was addicting and she moved back down, her tongue flat against the heat as she licked up from the sopping hole, bringing it all up to her clit.

Jennie’s lips stayed apart, breaths desperate and the sounds falling from between them as she couldn’t control it neither could she control the squirming into Y/n’s face. “Fuck, Y/n–more, I want more,” she whined, her eyes falling closed and her back hit the mattress as she couldn’t hold herself up.

Y/n sucked onto her outer lips, sucking them in and teasing with her tongue, dipping down and nudging the grasping hole with her tongue, swirling it which made Jennie gasp and writhe for more. However, she would feel bad if she teased Jennie for too long as the girl had been all ready since they entered the bedroom. Her hand gripped Jennie’s hip to ground them and control their whining as they weren’t controlled by the nymphomaniac that Jennie was.

“Oh God, I’ve missed you so much, the way you fuck me.” Jennie cried out when lips wrapped around her clit, the tongue firmly flicking at it at a perfect angle. Y/n ran her other hand over to Jennie’s hole, her one finger teasing around the hole while she continued to flick at her clit. Her tongue moved quickly, harshly flicking back and forth as it always made Jennie’s thighs quiver, trying to close around her head and leave the girl unsure of what to grip onto or how to act.

Her juices were smearing over her chin, running down and creating a mess and Y/n couldn’t help but dip down for more. The pleasure didn’t stop for Jennie who gyrated her hips into Y/n’s nose while the girl lapped at her hole, gathering the stickiness on her tongue before bringing it back up. She swirled around her clit before she wrapped her lips around it and suckled hard enough for Jennie to moan louder and arch her back off of the mattress. The birthday girl had always been vocal and sensitive to all touch when it came to Y/n. She was quite sure it was because of how many chemicals her body released around her, the oxytocin overflowing.

With ease, Y/n pushed two fingers into Jennie who sucked them in right away. Her walls were warm and throbbing, continuously clenching around the two slender fingers that started to push into her. “So close, I want it,” Jennie mumbled, a few coherent words coming from her now and then as she was lost in the firm and slick muscle that worked her swollen and pulsating clit while fingers pressed against her g-spot. She could feel it coming, the way her stomach started to drop and heat up.

“How bad do you want it?” Y/n gruffly questioned by pulling away for a split second before going right back.

“So bad, I will cry if I don’t get it–play with my pussy until it hurts. All yours.” The words flew out of her blabbering mouth, gasping and falling out of breath. She had been longing for more than Y/n and her love, but this type of love too.

“I love it, you fuck me so good with your tongue. Oh God–” Her chest heaved, her fingers tangling themselves in Y/n’s hair who groaned at the pain while eating at Jennie’s cunt. The mess ran down her chin, down Jennie’s ass, staining the sheets. The sounds were lewd, Jennie moaning, gasping, and whining, and the way Y/n was eating her pussy was making the wet sounds bounce off the walls in the room from the licking and sucking. The younger let out her moans and groans at how much she enjoyed having Jennie squirm while eating her out.

Her thighs shook while clenching around Y/n, her voice strained, her body spasming as she arched off the bed with her hips bucking into Y/n. Jennie lost control of her voice, cries flying out as everything disappeared, her ears ringing and her vision dying out. Her hand flew to her breast, grabbing hold of it as she had no clue where else to grasp. Her walls clasped around Y/n’s fingers, thudding around them as the orgasm crashed through her. It went on for a good few seconds as Y/n didn’t stop and continued to flick at her bud.

It wasn’t until Jennie was panting for breath and instead of pulling her into her pussy she was pulling her away that Y/n stopped. She slowed down, gently cleaning up the mess that Jennie’s cunt was, the girl wriggling under her from the kittenish licks lapping up the juices. Her body relaxed at last, slumping into the mattress and closing her eyes, her pussy palpitating from aftershocks.

“No…” She whined, convulsing and closing her legs with her hands flying between them as Y/n was no longer between them. A heat ran over her at the painful slap that landed against her swollen pussy, the sound wet and harsh.

“Don’t you want my cock too?” Y/n questioned and the girl opened her eyes, looking at Y/n who was using her black sweatshirt to wipe at her chin and mouth. It made her pussy clench at how it was missing Y/n.

“I do.” She dragged out and pulled herself up, her hands grasping at Y/n’s sweatshirt and pulling it up. The latter helped her by fully pulling it over her head and discarding it to the floor with kittenish hands pawing at her slim stomach before they dropped to her pants. Although Jennie didn’t pull them down, she instead moved onto her knees. “Hurry up, my pussy is waiting for your cum, baby.” She purred out while turning around and getting on all fours, showing off her ass and dripping pussy while looking over her shoulder at Y/n. Her ass pushed out for Y/n as she arched her back to further the invite.

“You’re so bad.” Y/n groaned and fully undid her pants, letting them pool around her ankles before she kicked them to the side with her boxers. Jennie bit her lower lip, eyeing the thick and long member, the tip bulbous and red, leaking with precum, the long vein dragged on the underside and Y/n’s slim and veiny hand came over to it. She stroked herself, her other hand caressing the plump outline of Jennie’s ass who only pushed more into her.

“Such a bad girl after not getting my attitude fucked out of me…I get so mean when I don’t have your cum stuffing my pussy.” Jennie agreed, drawing her words out while lowering herself until her chest pressed against the mattress.

“I need–” Jennie stopped Y/n who was about to get to the bedside drawer where she knew condoms were. They always hit it raw, but she wasn’t sure if Jennie had continued with her birth control after four months of being alone.

“No condom,” it wasn’t an ask, but more so a demand. Y/n didn’t mind condoms while Jennie hated them.

“You’re on birth control,” Y/n concluded and went right back to place, guiding her tip between Jennie’s folds who let her head drop at the feeling that sent shivers through her spine.

She bit her lower lip, forcing the smile to not get too big as she couldn’t wait longer as she confirmed Y/n’s conclusion. “Yes.” A sigh followed when the stretch came, Y/n’s tip pushing inside her, spreading her open, splitting her folds and disappearing into her sopping and snug heat. It was squeezing her cock as a moan slipped from her mouth. The warmth of Jennie was so familiar, it was leaving her cock to throb the further she slipped inside the confines of her pink cunt.

The brunette whined, her insides twisting at how good it felt, the cock too big for her smaller body as it was always a tight fit and a big stretch for her to take the girl behind her. Y/n stopped as her pelvis met Jennie’s ass, filling her to the hilt with her hands gripping Jennie’s hips. Her lips parted at the feeling as she stalled any movement and got lost for a second in just the feeling of having Jennie around her.

However, Jennie wasn’t nearly as patient. “Are you going to fuck me or act like a virgin who wet their dick for the first time?” It brought Y/n right out of her drowning thoughts at the rude tone of Jennie who sounded annoyed.

“What?” She breathed out.

“Fuck me or I will find someone else to do it.” Jennie loved digging her own grave. At least she got buried with her back being blown.

“Who else will fuck you this good?” Y/n didn’t wait for an answer as she pulled out almost fully before Jennie was sent flying forward when she slammed her hips back against hers. It drew gasps and moans from Jennie as Y/n proceeded with the deep and hard thrusts. The thick cock dragged along her tight walls, and the wet and squelching noises got louder as Jennie's pussy was a mess. Y/n’s pelvis slapped against Jennie’s ass and started to fill in with moans, groans, whimpers, and gasps. All occupying the room.

Jennie bunched up the sheets in her fists, her face buried in them. She could feel the curved tip abusing her g-spot as it continuously dragged along the soft and spongy spot in her. The cock was hitting deep in her, filling her and hitting the right spots that she wasn’t even able to hit when fucking herself with all kinds of toys.

Her moans were erotic, they fueled Y/n on who was going carnal as Jennie’s pussy, body, voice, and everything else always had that effect. The brunette's hips started to meet Y/n’s thrust, clenching and helping her drag her cock in her pussy.

“Fuck, your cock is so big, it hurts so good.” Jennie moaned as the pain always mixed with the pleasure.

Y/n huffed, biting her lower lip as she moved one hand and landed its palm against Jennie’s ass since the girl was pushing it out for her so much. It was followed by a mewl from the birthday girl.

“Are you going to take all my cum?” Y/n groaned out, the answer taking a second too long and earning Jennie’s bright red ass cheek another spank. The heat only shot right to her clit and she couldn’t feel embarrassed about it as she loved every second of it. “Everything, I’m going to keep it all inside and be a mommy,” Jennie whined, the words only made her clench more as her own words fueled her.

“You look so good with cock in you, your slutty pussy takes it so well.” Y/n complimented, her eyes falling on where her hard cock was disappearing. The wetness was running down Jennie’s thighs, and her pink folds spread because of the cock that was drilling into her cunt which was growing sore. She was sucking Y/n in, doing everything to milk her and get her cum as she forgot about wanting to orgasm. All she wanted was to be creampied and keep it all inside for as long as possible because it made her feel full.

“Only you can play with it so well, fuck it until it hurts–your cocksleeve, for you to warm in and empty into.”

“You love being used.” Y/n threw her head back, her fingers digging into the flesh of Jennie’s ass and hips. The thrusts were hard, the bed squeaking with every stroke inside the snug sleeve that Jennie was for her cock. The smaller girl moved with each thrust that was throwing her forward, making her grip harder to stay in place. 

“Yes, yes, yes.” Jennie spewed out, the tension in her stomach started to grow and Y/n could feel how much tighter her walls started to get around her. Her hand dropped from Jennie’s ass and went right under her, pushing onto her lower belly, able to feel herself bulge the small brunette's stomach. It was making Jennie dizzy, the pressure grew and she was getting sent right back into floating.

“I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come so hard around your cock, Y/n.” Jennie cried out, writhing in the sheets as she pulled on them with her hands. Her jaw fell slack, the moans going up in pitch and the heat flashed over her, the cries slowly coming in breathless as the control was lost and she couldn’t tell what was going on.

Y/n continued to pound her, the tension slowly easing from Jennie, although her mind remained clouded. Her body was warm and covered in a sheet of sweat. “I’m so close.” Y/n groaned, her tip twitching.

Jennie could feel the cock grow harder in her. “Fuck, breed my cunt, Y/n–shoot it into my womb.” She intentionally clenched her walls and Y/n’s hips stuttered, Jennie, pushing her ass flush against her to get it all shot deep in her. It filled her even more, Y/n and Jennie both moaning. Rope after rope of thick and creamy cum painted her walls white, making her hum at how good it felt to be filled so well again.

“So good,” Y/n mumbled, her body collapsing onto Jennie’s who slumped down on her stomach. Her chest heaved as she peppered kisses along Jennie’s warm shoulder. The kitten hid her face in the sheets, the cock growing limp in her throbbing cunt as she tried to get back on a normal breathing pattern.

“Happy birthday, Jennie.” She let out a breathless chuckle and Y/n slowly pushed herself up.

“It’s not my birthday anymore.” The brunette mumbled, turning onto her back and raising her knees, trying her best to keep the cum within her walls. Her soft eyes fell onto Y/n, dreading it as she was scared that she would leave. The night was over, and so was her birthday.

“It’s the 16th until you go to sleep.” Y/n reminded her and she smiled, biting her lower lip while Y/n reached for her boxers, pulling them back on.

“Y/n…” The latter looked up at Jennie who was already looking at her. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. “Please don’t leave.” She mumbled.

“Jennie–” She cut Y/n off right away.

“Please, even if it’s just for the night.” She begged and Y/n chuckled

“Why on earth would I leave?” She questioned, baffled that Jennie thought she would just leave her, especially after having sex. Maybe they said it during sex, but she would never just use Jennie and leave her behind after.

Jennie felt a weight fall off of her, there was a lightness in her chest. She at times hated how sensitive she was as her lower lip jutted out and her breathing picked up to hold her tears back. Y/n heaved a sigh and got on the bed, with ease she pulled Jennie’s limp body with her as she kicked the duvet down before pulling it over them. The girl hugged around Y/n’s slim waist, burying her face in her shoulder as she couldn’t help but cry.

“Will you leave tomorrow?” She asked through her tears. The younger clicked her tongue and ran her fingers through Jennie’s hair. The both of them drowned in the warmth they shared. 

“Do you want me to?” She had a good feeling that Jennie did not want her to leave. She wouldn’t be crying otherwise. Y/n was right as Jennie shook her head, tightening her grip around her to make sure that she would stay. It made her pull her small body closer to her and she kissed the top of her head.

“If you want…” Y/n trailed off and Jennie lifted her head, her eyes exhausted and filled with tears. Y/n wiped her cheeks with the pad of her palm before she leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I could stay forever.” She suggested and Jennie closed the little gap between them. This time the kiss was soft, neither of them wanting it to rush into anything else than the adoration and love they still and always would have for each other.

“Yes, please.” She mumbled and Y/n smiled against her lips, pecking them.

“I love you, Jennie.” To hear those words again healed all those empty and torn parts in her. They were eager to say them again and wanted to say them a million times more to make up for all the four months that they hadn't said them.

“I love you, Y/n…” She cleared her throat and looked down a little guiltily and Y/n hummed confused. Jennie mumbled something under her breath, her eyes avoiding Y/n’s as she lay in her arms.

“You have to stop mumbling.” Y/n seriously said as the guilty look on Jennie’s face was starting to worry her. She sighed at that and lastly spoke up.

“I’m not actually on any birth control,” Jennie admitted as she had lied. She didn’t care when she hadn’t been sure if Y/n would have stayed. If she had to force Y/n to get back together then she would do so by trapping her. It only made sense to try and get pregnant if she was ovulating and wanted nothing more than Y/n to stay and to have a baby with her.

“You’re evil,” Y/n whispered and Jennie gave her a haughty little smile, showing that she wasn’t as guilty as she pretended to be.

“I don’t care, I only want you.” She pecked Y/n’s lips before she laid her head on her shoulder, nuzzling her face in her neck, drowning in the comforting scent of home that Y/n was to her.

“I only want you too, Jen.” She couldn’t find it in herself to be angry with the kitten. Y/n loved her too much and neither would she mind having kids with her. All she did was pull her closer and hug her, holding her in a way that would lull Jennie right to sleep and at last let her wake up well-rested after so many bad nights of sleep and crying.

“Start preparing to be a parent and do not forget the ring before I get pregnant.” Jennie pointed out and lifted her left hand, showing the empty fingers to Y/n who leaned in and pecked her ring finger. She giggled when Y/n gently bit it and she quickly hid it after.

“Don’t worry about any of it, I still want to marry you and have a family.”

Jennie’s wish did come true once again.

[hedgehog-moss]

Bird update: Unfortunately I’ve had to say goodbye to my rooster. I quite liked him but if you’ll remember, he was here on probation and after a few weeks of good behaviour he started pestering my hen a lot. She started looking a bit unhappy (huddling under the outdoor table instead of trotting about), then she stopped laying and I thought perhaps she was moulting and it could explain her moodiness and missing feathers, but the pattern of missing feathers seemed to point to the rooster as a culprit. Then he hurt her wing, allegedly (I have no proof so I’m protecting myself from a libel claim.)

On nice days Dru likes to sit and soak up the sun, stretching her wings one at a time, and on a couple of occasions I saw her stretch only her left wing, never opening her right one. I poked her wing gently and she didn’t bite my hand off which was a good sign, but then I picked her up and placed her on a chair, expecting her to jump off straight away like “I never asked you to put me here, mind your own business”—and indeed she jumped but she only flapped her left wing to slow her fall.

I called the vet to ask if it meant the other wing was broken and what I could do, and she was pretty reassuring, saying if the wing was held closed in the right position it would heal on its own—if it were dangling on the other hand I would need to find a little toddler’s t-shirt for my hen to wear, to keep her wing against her body. The vet also said what vets always say—“as long as the animal is eating normally it’s probably going to be fine!” (and that’s the case)

But I couldn’t keep the rooster any longer—even if he weren’t the one who hurt Dru (innocent until proven guilty) it wouldn’t help the healing process if he kept trying to mount her, so I put him in a box and took him back to his natal farm. They weren’t terribly happy to see him again, but well. I wanted to give him a chance but the circumstances (with only one hen) weren’t auspicious and I sort of expected this experiment to fail. Best of luck, rooster...

A couple of days after his departure, Dru lay an egg again for the first time since mid-February, so I think the message was pretty clear!

Also, that’s a tall bale of hay (from a chicken’s perspective) so I’m not sure how she managed to climb on top of it without boosting herself with her wings. Did she fake a wing injury to get the rooster ousted? Pampe would fake a wing injury without hesitation but chickens strike me as honest. I mean they're unrepentant food thieves but they’re upfront about it.

Final bird update: on Friday I managed to get a new hen! I hope having a new coopmate won’t put Dru in a bad mood again and cause another egg strike. The new hen is very young and still looks like a gangly teenager, and she seems quite vivacious and curious, here she is determinedly strolling into her new home:

One notable fact about her is that she doesn’t speak chicken. She doesn’t kot kot like an adult hen, and she doesn’t make the incoherent gurgling sound that baby hens make, either. It’s more like a dissonant quack. I’m not sure what to attribute it to—maybe she was raised near ducks and picked up a foreign language? I might have to call her Daisy if she keeps this up. I tried to record her but she’s pretty scared of me for the time being so she’s all shy and quiet when I’m nearby...

Dru isn’t amused by any of this. New hen tries to follow her and chat with her and gets snubbed a lot. Well, I did hear Dru cluck amicably the first evening when I brought the new hen in the coop, but she didn’t get an answer, there’s a real language barrier here. I hope the new hen learns French soon because right now Dru just keeps running away from her! 

Poor Dru, she lost her good friend and then had to deal with a dude who woke her up every day at dawn crowing as loudly as possible, and now a new roommate who speaks duck. It’s only been two days though; I’m sure they’ll get along eventually!

[callsign-joyride]

No More Mr. Nice Guy | Tom "Iceman" Kazansky

Summary: After an encounter with a weird Top Gun instructor, Iceman defends you.

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x f!reader (callsign: Wasp)

Content warnings: Drinking, getting drunk, a weird/creepy guy, attempted sexual assault

A/N: This is very loosely based on personal experiences. (I've had this idea since things happened.) If you know, you know. The person who Dart is based on may or may not be reading this. If he is, I have a message. Hi, sweetie. I just want to know why you thought it would be a good idea to tell the 19-year-old who writes Top Gun fanfiction about your morally, ethically, and legally questionable actions that are supposedly not true. You can't run from all of your problems. - Your "best girl". (I needed to be petty for a minute.)

Word count: 1.5k

You loved being a Top Gun pilot, you really did. Even though you were the only woman in your class, everyone treated you with the same respect. Well, almost everyone. You were walking to lunch with Ice and Slider when Slider had decided to ask you what you thought about Dart, one of the new instructors.

“I don’t know, something about him just gives me a weird vibe. Like, I get it, we’re two weeks into this, but he’s asked me to go out with him for drinks. Just the two of us. It really puts me off sometimes but then I wonder if he’s just lonely,” you said. Ice glanced at you and clenched his jaw.

“He shouldn’t be talking to you like that,” he said.

“Yeah, but we’re both adults. I don’t really think it matters.”

“It’s clearly bothering you, though.”

“A few weird comments here and there isn’t a big deal. I really don’t want to be having this discussion right now, okay?”

Everyone sat together at lunch and the conversations had been going well. All of you had to be back in the classroom by one, so that didn’t leave much time for leisure. Dart walked in and started giving his piece. You always sat in the front, but it started to feel weird once you realized that he would start checking you out any time he stood in front of you to lecture. That wasn’t something that you wanted to tell anyone about. Ice would believe you, but there wouldn’t really be anything to back it up. And as soon as it got to Viper, he probably wouldn’t have believed you, or cared enough to do anything about it. So you sat there, unable to move because you would’ve had to ask him before you could switch seats. 

The class had been dismissed and almost everyone had left the room when he asked if he could talk to you. Usually, having to talk to instructors usually meant going over training exercises and evaluations. That wasn’t the case this time.

“I was wondering if we could get something to eat later. You know, with the three-day weekend coming up, it would be nice if we could have some one-on-one time.”

That set you off.

“How many times am I going to have to tell you no before you actually lay off and leave me alone? This isn’t an appropriate relationship and I’m not a fan of you constantly asking me if we can hang out, just us, because you think that it would be nice if we had time alone. If you’re going to keep me after class just to ask me out, the answer is, and always will be, no.”

“It’s not a date, I’m just trying to be nice.”

“Well you’re being weird. I’ve noticed you stopping in front of me during lectures just so you can get a look at my boobs. No normal person does that.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.”

You walked out of the classroom and shut the door behind you. Ice had been waiting outside of the classroom for some time. He had been waiting on you but you didn’t really think anything of it.

“I hate him, Tom. I don’t want to talk about what just happened but I hate him.”

Ice nodded his head and the two of you walked back to the barracks. You walked in silence, but you were mostly just thinking of what you were going to do if Dart kept on bothering you. You could only hope that rejecting him would be enough for him to keep things strictly professional, but even that was a high standard considering who he was. Ice hadn’t told anyone of what had happened, or what he thought had happened, but it was kind of a surprise for Goose to be knocking on your door at 9 PM asking if you wanted to go to the Officer’s Club with the rest of the group. You had figured that this was something that you needed, so of course you said yes and quickly changed your clothes before grabbing your keys and wallet.

It felt like a normal night. After a few drinks, you were starting to feel tipsy. You normally had a bit more control over your alcohol consumption, but the events of earlier had taken up a space in your mind and you needed to let go, even if it was just for a night.

“I’m going outside,” you told Goose. He nodded his head and covered your drink as you walked out. 

“Hey, Wasp,” you heard. Dart had been right behind you, and you were startled by his presence. You had so much to drink that even though he had at most a few inches on you, it felt like he was towering over you. Panic started to set in as he pushed you against the nearby railing and started trying to kiss you.

“I think I figured out why there’s so much tension between us,” he said. You kept on trying to tell him to stop as he continued to kiss you and put his hands on you.

“It’s because you have a little school girl crush on me and you’re too afraid to admit it.”

“No, no. Stop. I don’t like this, it’s not right.”

“Isn’t that what you want, though? I gotta hand it to ya, Wasp, I never really pegged you to be the type to be into this forbidden romance kinda stuff.”

He was pulled off of you and it was like you could breath again, for the most part. You looked up and Tom had him by the collar. It didn’t really seem like he was going to let go. Going back inside would’ve stressed you out more, so you stood behind Tom for some form of protection from this creep.

“Hey, buddy. What’s this about, huh?” He asked.

“You don’t see it? Wasp here has been doting over me since the minute she walked into my class and I’m just trying to ease the tension.”

“What tension? She fucking hates you. And from what I heard, you’re the one making these advances on her. If she said no to your date, what would’ve made her say yes to making out with you? Just curious. I could beat the shit out of you right now but I really don’t want to lose my job, so I’m gonna let you walk away. But you’re not gonna talk to her like that or look at her like that again. And if you don’t want to listen to me and I find out that you’re still doing this shit, I’m taking it to Viper.”

Tom let him go and he scurried off. By the time he turned around to face you, most of the group had been watching things go down. 

“Are you- actually, do you want to talk about this at my car?”

You nodded your head and Tom walked you to his car. There wasn’t any pressure to do anything except stand outside and talk, but you felt safer having this conversation inside of the car. As you told him everything that Dart had done, you could see the rage in his eyes.

“I’m talking to Viper about this first thing in the morning. I don’t give a fuck if I have to drive to his house, I’ll do it.”

“You really don’t have to. I think threatening him like that was more than enough.”

“Wasp, there’s no reason that he treated you like that. He tried to make moves on you while you were drunk. I have to take this to Viper because I don’t know if he’s done this to others, and I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

There wasn’t anything that you could do that would stop Ice or the rest of the group from taking the situation to Viper. What was meant to be a relaxing three-day weekend turned into a very stressful one, because you didn’t know if Viper was going to do anything about what had happened. You knew that something was up when class got cancelled and the long weekend got extended for the extra day.

“I really don’t want to go in there. I don’t know if Viper has made a decision yet,” you said as you walked to the classroom with Ice and Slider.

“You can sit with me. I usually sit in the middle, anyways,” Ice said. No one asked any questions as you took a seat in between Ice and Slider, but everyone was surprised when Viper walked in alone.

“I’ll be stepping in as a temporary instructor. Because of recent events, I made the decision to fire Dart. I also want to remind everyone that fraternization between instructors and students will result in immediate termination of the instigator.”

You had to hide the smile that made its way onto your face. Under the table, Tom squeezed your hand.

Taglist:

@littlebadariell @cycbaby @luckyladycreator2 @idontcare-11 @blue-aconite @maverick-wingman @shawty-fenty @littlemisstopgun @rosiahills22 @katieshook02 @justanothermagicalsara @caitsymichelle13 @smoothdogsgirl @adoringsebstan @cherrycola27 @alexxavicry @mrsjaderogers @mak-32 @thefandomimagines @tallrock35 @caatheeriinee07

[imnotselfryed]

Another child? [d. djarin]

word count: 1.1k (is this even a drabble??)

content/warnings: daughter & father relationship after a bit, mini Ahsoka mention (i had to), din being softer than usual bc grogu softened him up 😭, a sprinkle of angst. Italics means flashback, gif not mines, not proofread :)

☆♫☆♫

“I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold.” The Mandalorian said to his daily bounty. He’s a busy man and he needed those credits now that he has a small someone to take care of. This bounty though seemed…a bit younger than usual. “Seems fun” You said with all the calm in the world.

“You’ve got 10 seconds before I end this conversation.”

“You could try but I want to get this over with.”

Mando sighed as he gripped your arm harshly. “Let’s go kid. I’m not here to play games.” “Kid? I’ll have you know I’m a grown adult thank you very much,” You said with the best “adult” voice you’ve had. You’ve been on the run after your entire world fell apart. You learned to adapt to your surroundings and environment. It’s a cruel world, galaxy even, so you’ve learned to not be the child you actually are. Mando sighed again as he threw her in the ship. “Well, wow. This is a humble abode.” 

“It’s not that impressive. It still works perfectly even though it's probably thousands of years old. Just sit down and be quiet, kid. I’m actually being generous.”

“That's probably the coolest thing you’ve said this entire time.”

Mando stayed silent as he punched in the locations. He had a sad and weird feeling that you were not the adult you say you are. He didn’t exactly want to bring you in, for someone else to potentially hurt you. The mandalorian spoke up, “Well, you don’t see many..smart..bounties, like you, kid. Most end up dying from stress.”

“D’aww you called me smart! I’m so honored” You said sarcastically. It's one of the only ways you have survived all these years, or at least how you survived for the little years you lived. “You must really like sarcasm huh?” “Oh I love sarcasm.” 

The Mandalorian continued, “Now tell me…why were you taken in as a bounty? You don’t seem too much of a criminal.”

“Well….Since I was so depressed about…something personal that happened when I was younger, I kind of had a “villain arc” you could say but..I’ve changed. Still sad about it though.” You answered sadly while reminiscing about your past. It all felt like yesterday. “Someone..killed my mother. The only piece of family I’ve had.”

It was a normal day, you were around 8 when it happened. You and your mother were collecting your daily food at the market because everyone was fleeing for their lives. The empire was about to harm everyone and everything that comes in their way, and your planet blocked their view. Your mother on the other hand though, was as calm as you grew up to be. After that, both of you rush outside to see the sky reddened. Your mother crouched down to match the height of you.

 “Dear, I love you. You know that right?” She smiled sadly. “I know, Mama.” You say somber, knowing what was about to come next. A bomb, not too far from you and your mother blew up on the ground. Everyone was panicking, trying to evacuate but you really didn’t care. All you cared about was your mother. “Baby, please. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself, find someone that’ll protect you, please be safe,” she said, tears glistening in her eyes. “I will, Mama, don’t worry. Maybe we can find eachother again!” A tear ran down your small cheek as your mother wiped it away. “I hope so.”

A sympathetic look crossed the Mandalorian’s face. Out of all people he definitely knew what it was like to lose a loved one. “I know how difficult that is. I lost mine when I was just a boy. Are you still struggling with your loss though?” Mando sounded softer than usual, he wasn’t as big and bad as he was when he first met her.

“I am…and I’m still so young. Everything happened so fast. I like to act older than I am because It makes me forget about the past. I am actually just a kid.” “I understand. Life can change on the whim of a moment. But, kid, don’t hide your inner child. The galaxy needs some more happiness in it.”

You nod as you stare at your hands, wishing you were stronger and that you were actually able to save your mother. You clench your hands in worry, and in anger. Mando notices this and felt bad for you. “Is..everything okay? Is there something you want to share with me?”  “No….it’s alright. I’m alright,” you say sadly while playing with the small ring on your finger, the one your mother gave you. “Look, I’m sorry for your loss, kid. I know you’re trying to stay safe for your sake but holding in that pain isn’t the right answer.”

“I know it’s just…I’m not sure how to talk about my feelings really. I’ve been keeping it all in my entire life.” Mando had a small idea, (eureka /j), something that would protect this young one, and control her stress. “I know just the person to help you with that. A Jedi who guided me through struggles of my own loss. You should find her someday. She can help you kid, I know it.” “Yea…but I’m not Jedi material..plus I don’t want to be one. I think it’d just give me even more stress. They probably wouldn’t be able to handle my sarcasm either” You chuckled. “You’re stuck with me now anyway, Metal man.”

Mando sighed, “So be it.” You smiled a small grin. “So what can I call you anyway?” 

“People call me Mando. It’s something I was sworn to be. I have dedicated my life to serve the clan of Mandalore.” “Woah! So your a Mandalorian? That’s so cool!” You said fairly quickly. “I’m just..alive, I guess. Sometimes I wish I was cool,” you sighed as you stared at your ring. “You are pretty cool, kid. Don’t let your past define who you are, you define that, and what future you will have. What will it be,” Mando said, actually curious.

You stayed silent as you thought to yourself. “Find someone who will protect you,” your mother had once told you. You are only 13 now, and have nowhere else to go anymore. You couldn’t survive on your own. The Mandalorian is the only one who could protect you now. “Could I maybe…stay here?”

Mando looked back at her in shock, why would she want to stay here? He thought but she was only a child, he couldn’t just abandon her. He had the same choice with Grogu and he’s like a son to him now. He patted her head, unsure of what to do. “Sure, kid. I promise I'll protect you. We’ll have other adventures also. How does that sound?”

☆♫☆♫

[cuttergauthier]

Thunderstorm

Josh Norris x Female Tkachuk Reader

Warning: against, Swear words, thunderstorm, fluff

Flashbacks is in Italic

word count:1.1k

I am currently looking out of my apartment window, it’s raining pretty bad. There’s a warning for a severe thunderstorm storm. It’s currently 7:00 p.m, looks like I won’t be getting much sleep tonight.

Usually when there’s a thunderstorm I go stay with my brother, but he’s currently on a road trip right now. I’ve been terrified of thunderstorms since I was a kid, it’s always loud and surprising which I hate.

I’ve only had to be alone twice before, I usually turn on all the lights and stay in the living room with some music so I try to drown the noise, but it doesn’t always work. I also live in a tall apartment building which probably wasn’t the best idea since during thunderstorms it usually feels like the building is shaking.

I’m also terrified that the power will go out.

I saw lightning in the sky before the loud bang but it still made me jump. I rushed to turn the lights on and to grab a small speaker before jumping on the couch.

I turned on the music. The thunder kept getting louder and the music didn’t really help, so I hid my head in my hoodie.

Around five minutes later there was a knock on my door. I rushed to the door and opened it, only to find Josh Norris standing there.

“What do you want?” I asked

“You’re brother told me to come stay with you until the storm passes, I wouldn’t be here if I had a choice” he said annoyed.

“Well i’m find you can go back to yours” I say

He was about to respond when there was another loud bang, making me jump.

Josh’s eyebrows raised before he started laughing. I wanted to cry, it’s not a fear I want anyone to know about, especially not Josh, he makes fun of me enough as it is.

“Seriously… you’re afraid of thunder?” He asked once he finally calmed down from laughing.

“Shut up and leave me alone” I snapped right before another bang. 

“Look, stay or leave, I don’t care anymore” I said, leaving him at the door and making my way to the couch.

I sat down on the L side of the couch wrapping my arms around me.

I heard the door close, so I assumed Josh left. Only I was wrong when I felt someone sit at the end of the couch. I looked up to find Josh looking at me curious. I rolled my eyes.

“What?” I asked. Why the hell is he just looking at me? Didn’t he laugh enough a few minutes ago?

“Are you that much of a baby that you’re scared of thunder?” He asked, chuckling.

I scoffed 

“Fuck you Josh, it’s a normal fear” 

He rolled his eyes. 

“You’re also an adult” he said

There was another bang making me yelp. I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them tight.

Josh signed. I felt him get off the couch and make his way to the chair and grabbed my throw blanket. He made his way to me, I looked at him curiously. What the hell is he doing?

He sat down next to me, put his legs up before wrapping the blanket around me and pulling me on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me. I shifted so I could lay down like him, and be more comfortable.

I looked up at him confused. Why is he doing this?

“What are you doing?” I asked

He rolled his eyes looking down at me.

“Just shut up and relax,” he said, annoyed. I rolled my eyes before cuddling him.

Another loud bang made me jump but Josh hugged me tighter.

I hid my face in the crock of his neck.

“What did you do today?” He asked. I pulled my head back to look at him confused, what?

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m trying to distract you, so what did you do today?” He asked again.

I laid my head on his shoulder. 

“I cleaned the apartment, and watched a few movies.” I answered. He hummed.

“What movie did you watch?”

“ (favorite movie)” i said

“For real? It’s my favorite movie”

“Mine to” i said smiling softly 

“Looks like we do have something in common” he said, I smiled before looking at him. I saw that he was also smiling.

“I guess we do” 

“Is it helping?” He asked.

I nodded

“Thank you” I mumbled shyly.

“You’re welcome” he whispered.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep since it was starting to get late and in case he wanted to leave I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep alone tonight.

Right before I fell asleep he kissed my forehead.

“Good night, I'll be here when you wake up” he whispered.

I guess he does have a soft side for me.

I woke up the next morning on the couch still cuddled with Josh, our legs are tangled together and i’m laying on his chest.

I felt him move a little so I slowly blinked before looking up at him.

I saw he was waking up.

“Morning,” I said , yawning.

He looked down at me and smiled

“Morning, did you sleep well?” He asked

“Probably the best sleep i’ve had in a while so thank you” 

“You’re welcome” I moved and got up from the couch before making my way to the kitchen. I could feel josh staring at me.

I started to make coffee before looking back at Josh.

“Do you want coffee?” I asked

“Sure, why not,” he said before making his way to me.

Once the coffee was ready I poured some in two mugs and handed Josh one.

“Thanks” he said

Once we were done drinking our coffee, Josh was about to leave before he stopped and looked at me.

“What?” I was confused.

“Are you busy tomorrow night?” He asked nervously.

“No, why?”

“any chance I could take you on a date?” 

I smiled softly before nodding.

“I’d like that” i said, he smiled

“Great, i’ll pick you up at 6” he said

“Bye josh” 

“Bye yn, i’ll see you tomorrow” he said smiling 

[erin-bo-berin]

hello! like everyone else I’ve been totally glued to your Steve fics lately. your take on his character/mannerisms are perfect!!

I have a request, if you’re interested: reader’s horny as hell and it’s all Steve’s fault. (personally I’m a sucker for future dad Steve/pregnant reader but if that’s not your vibe feel free to come up with another reason why we’re blaming him). Anyway, normally Steve would love nothing more than to help you out but today he’s actually working at his desk on some project due tomorrow morning so you’ll just have to wait until he’s done before he can attend to your needs. But that’s not going to stop you from trying your best begging/teasing techniques throughout the day, saying things that rile him up, touching him, blaming him for the situation, and appealing to his very deep need to take care of you.

After a long day putting up with you/attempting to stay strong, you finally say or do something that sends Steve over the edge. (He actually knocks over his desk chair as he mauls you.) But Steve’s going to have to pay you back for all the teasing you’ve unleashed on him all day by taking his damn time.

smut city, pls!

Ooh now THIS is appealing! But yes I’m all for having horny pregnant reader. I mean good lord if I had that to look at every day, I’d be popping out kids every year because I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off him 🤣

Let’s pretend this is how Steve looks after a good fuck 👀

All Your Fault

Steve Harrington x Reader

Warnings: Smut (lots of smut, it gets pretty filthy I’m sorry), Pregnant Reader

You thought you knew what to expect during pregnancy.

Morning sickness, cravings, weight gain, fatigue, you get the drift. You even knew to expect mood swings throughout the pregnancy.

What you didn’t expect was to be as horny as a wild animal in mating season.

You were nearing the end of your fourth month of pregnancy. The nausea had dissipated, your energy had increased some and you felt better than you had in weeks. Your body was growing and changing daily, making room for the life that was growing exponentially fast with each week passed.

You’d finally made it through the stage where you no longer look bloated, but we’re starting to sport a small, noticeable bump. Most likely it was going to double in size by the end of next month, but for now, you treasured the baby bump, knowing you and Steve’s baby was growing like he or she should be.

You were taken back at first by how high your sex drive was at this point in pregnancy. You craved him as badly, if not more than the snacks and treats you’d been consuming lately.

Usually, Steve was more than happy to help you out. You were sure he was even more thrilled than you were about the extra intimacy. But this lately was wild, almost animalistic, lust-filled sex. Ironically enough, you hadn’t had much of that since the night you likely conceived.

But today, Steve had to be an adult. Or well, he had work to do.

Keith had unfortunately—much to your dismay—tasked Steve to do the inventory numbers at Family Video, leaving the task until last minute. Thus, he gave the annoying job to Steve, who had been hunched over his desk, hard at work all day, trying to finish the job before they were due in tomorrow, at the beginning of the month.

“Steeeeve,” you whined, “Can’t you take just a tiny break?”

“Baby, you know I’d love to,” he sighed heavily, pushing his hair out of his face, “But I still have a ways to go if I want to finish this before tonight.”

You sighed dramatically, flopping on the couch across the living room from him. You rubbed your belly soothingly.

“Daddy’s being mean to us, baby,” you pouted.

“Daddy’s also trying to get this nightmare of a project over with,” he mumbled in return, “Also, mommy is being over dramatic.”

“It’s your fault I’m like this,” you huffed.

“I think it’s more like the hormones from pregnancy, not me.”

“Is it possible to die from horniness?” you asked, dead serious.

“Babe, if it was, you would’ve killed me years ago,” he responded, his back still turned to you.

You stuck your tongue out at his back playfully, telling yourself you were going to concentrate on the game show that was on TV, but it didn’t last long at all.

Your eyes returned to your boyfriend, watching him. Your eyes slid along his back, knowing the feel of the muscles in them moving under your fingers as he moved above you. You could see the faint sign of his leg bouncing through the loose, gray pants he wore.

His butt looked amazing in those pants somehow, but so did his dick. It was amazing how they seemed to be loose fitting yet hugged the parts of him that you really shouldn’t be thinking of right now.

Then your mind wandered to his thighs. Ones you liked to perch yourself on, sometimes you rode them, getting yourself off by just a thigh alone. The delicious friction of it against your throbbing clit.

You really did have to stop your train of thoughts before you got yourself in a worse situation than you were currently in.

That was when you got the wicked idea to tease him. You were gonna make him sorry for leaving you in such a desperate state.

•

Lunchtime came and you fixed him a sandwich, bringing it into him, knowing he wouldn’t stop working to eat if you didn’t.

“Thanks sweetheart,” he smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist, patting your side, hand resting dangerously low on your ass.

This son of a bitch really was pushing your buttons at this point.

“No problem,” you smiled sweetly.

You looked over his shoulder at the paperwork in front of him, spread out on the desk.

“Not done yet?” you hummed, wrapping your arms around his neck from behind, hands gliding down his chest.

It was a delicate balance; trying to be purposely sensual but playing innocent as if you weren’t trying to seduce him at all.

“Nope.”

“That’s a shame,” you pouted, kissing his cheek, lips hovering near his ear, “How about a short lunchtime break? Let you bend me over this desk and have your way with me, hmm?”

You bit his earlobe softly, feeling him shudder under your touch.

“You know I can’t,” Steve said, surprisingly more firm than you were sure he felt.

“Hmm. Suit yourself. I think I’m going to take a bath, wash up really good. Over my chest, my legs. Lather up the ladies real well,” you said, motioning to your boobs, which had grown fuller over the last few months.

He was blinking at you like an owl, unable to say anything.

“T-That’s fine,” he cleared his throat of the rasp that’d come out, “You go ahead, I’ll be here if you need me.”

“Well you know where you find me, if you need me,” you winked, sauntering off towards the bathroom.

The bath wasn’t that great, honestly. It was fine, refreshing, but all you wanted was Steve to strip naked and join you. You groaned, stepping out when you were done, draining the water.

You needed to up the ante if you wanted results.

•

The soft, silky bathrobe you donned was tied loosely at your waist. One tug and it could easily pull right open to expose your naked body underneath.

You carefully arranged the neckline of it so it showed the perfect amount of your cleavage. Where he could see your chest heaving from your labored breath, could access your neck where your pulse was spiking—symptoms of your intense desire for him.

He’d barely moved from where you’d left him.

One of his hands was in his hair, head resting in his hand, arm propped on the desktop, his fingers clutching a pencil and scribbling. Occasionally he would pause, punch some numbers into the calculator next to him and then resume writing.

The plate next to him was empty save for some crumbs. At least he’d eaten, that was something.

You stopped at the edge of his desk, rapping your knuckles against the desktop to get his attention.

“Can I get you anything else to eat?” you asked, motioning to the plate when he looked up at you.

“No, that was enough. Thanks for fixing it for me,” he smiled.

“Not a problem,” you replied, casually.

Purposely, you reached across the desk from where you were standing to grab the plate, making sure he had the perfect view of your cleavage. When you pulled back, one shoulder of the robe had slipped, exposing even more skin.

You might’ve missed it if you weren’t looking straight at him, but you saw Steve’s eyes flicker downwards then back up to your face, looking glazed. Then he blinked and was back to normal.

You let the disappointment settle internally and immediately went on to your next plan.

“Let me know if you want anything else,” you called in a sing-song voice as you headed towards the kitchen with the dirty plate.

You could’ve sworn you heard an answering grumble come from behind you.

•

Steve turned when he heard movement behind him.

“What are you doing?”

You looked up from where you were organizing the books on the small bookshelf you had in the living room.

“Just doing a little cleaning. Don’t let me bother you.”

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” he asked, looking concerned.

“Steve, I’ve gotta burn off this excess energy somehow,” you responded, turning back to where you alphabetizing the novels.

You made sure he was still looking when you bent over, as if peering closer at a certain book, making sure he got a full view of your ass in the tiny lounge shorts you decided to don.

You heard a creak behind you and turned to see Steve had turned back to his work.

You groaned inwardly. You were going to get him to fuck you if it meant you had to walk around naked.

•

As tempting as that thought was, you decided to forgo the walking around naked part. You were desperate, but you weren’t quite that desperate yet.

“How goes it?” you asked, walking in the room.

You’d spent the last few hours sitting in the kitchen reading your book and snacking on some strawberries. Just because you couldn’t have one of the things you were craving didn’t mean you were going to deprive yourself of your current food craving.

“Well I’m closer to being done than I was, if that tells you anything.”

“Steve, you’ve been at that desk nearly all day,” you frowned, “You must be stiff and sore.”

He groaned, rubbing at his neck and shoulders as if the power of suggestion was enough to make him realize just how sore he really was.

“Here, let me rub it for you,” you offered.

You put your hands on his shoulders, massaging gently, thumbs pressing into soft circles of his neck, kneading the knots out of his muscles.

He moaned softly, heading falling forward.

“That feels amazing, Y/N,” he complimented.

He was just asking for it at this point.

You leaned forward, breasts pressing against his back as you kissed his cheek, seemingly innocently.

“I know how else to make you feel amazing,” you purred, “And make you moan even more than you already were.”

His throat bobbed at his obviously hard swallow. One peek down at his crotch and you could see his cock was all aboard for the idea.

“I could suck you off, then let you get back to work,” you whispered, your voice as tantalizing as your words, “Let me wrap my lips around that pretty little cock of yours, make you moan so loud the walls rattle.”

He turned to look at you and you took the opportunity to press your lips against his. Your mouth purposely moved tantalizingly slow against his.

He hummed when you pulled away, his eyes still closed.

“You taste like strawberries,” he whispered.

“I know,” you smirked, your hands once again running down his chest.

“I know what you’re trying to do, Y/N,” Steve said, giving you a stern look, removing your hands gently from him.

“And what’s that?” you blinked innocently.

“You’re trying to get me to cave because you’re honey as fuck,” he said blatantly.

“I can’t help that I want to jump you,” you groaned, “But I know, I know, I’ll wait.”

“I don’t have much more to do, then I promise, I’m all yours,” Steve promised, kissing your cheek, turning back to his work.

You decided to give in to defeat at that point and just try to be patient, even if you did already feel like jumping out of your skin.

•

“I’m amazed you’ve been patient this long,” Steve said casually.

It was nearing late afternoon, three o’clock soon to be turning into four.

“Believe me, it’s not been easy,” you mumbled, resting against one of the stuffed chairs, watching him.

“Especially when my brain decides to turn every little thing you do into some sexual.”

He chuckled, amused.

“Like what?”

“You just writing for example. All I could think of is your hands and how they feel on my body, how your fingers feel tracing every curve, how they feel inside of me making me beg you to cum,” you groaned, “Sorry, I’m getting carried away again. I oughta just have gotten myself off. At least have one good orgasm imagining it was your hand instead of mine and—”

You jumped, hearing a loud crash. Without realizing it, Steve had hurled himself out of the desk chair, knocking it over. You gasped when he was on you, pulling your weight away from the chair you were leaning against, pressing your body into his. He kissed you hard, hungrily, making you moan into the kiss.

He was already moving you by the time you’d parted, breath heavy from the intense kiss. He backed you up against the edge of his desk, his body holding yours there with his own.

“There is no way I’m letting you get yourself off when I know I can do it and better,” he practically growled in your ear, pressing his crotch into you.

You felt his cock straining in his pants and you moaned, eager already for it.

“Fuck, if I knew that’s all it would’ve taken to get you to pay attention to me, I would’ve done it so much sooner,” you laughed a bit breathlessly.

“I was trying so hard to resist all day so I could get my work done,” he groaned, kissing you again.

“Not the only thing that was hard was it, big boy?” you giggled, nipping at his bottom lip.

“Don’t think you’re gonna get away with your little tricks,” he smirked, pushing all the contents of his desk on the floor.

You gaped at them, surprised.

“I’ll worry about that later,” he muttered, “I’ve got a gorgeous girl to tease.”

He grabbed your hips roughly, setting you on the desktop so you were at the same level as him. Before he did anything else, he practically tore your shirt over your head, groaning at the sight of your breast, nipples hard.

His hands grabbed them firmly, massaging them roughly in his large hands as his mouth moved against yours. You groaned at the wonderful feeling of his rough palms against your peaked nipples. You had never been as turned on as you were right now, your clit throbbing painfully, your panties soaked so thoroughly you wouldn’t be surprised if you left a puddle on his desk.

“Steve,” you whimpered, his mouth moving over your jaw and neck, sucking harshly in certain, random spots, “Can’t we just forgo the teasing this once?”

“Nope. Gotta give you a lesson you won’t forget,” he smirked, lowering his mouth to your chest.

Your breasts were still a tad sensitive and the feeling of his mouth on them practically made you salivate.

“Oh god,” you groaned, back arching into his mouth, his tongue and mouth sucking and licking at your nipples, giving them plenty of attention.

“See this is why I’m constantly horny,” you chuckled weakly, his lips moving back upwards towards your jaw and lips, “You’re too damn good at this.”

His hands had slid from your waist to your outer thighs, squeezing them as if to emphasize his next words which just so happened to be breathed over your lips.

“It’s because I love making you moan.”

God, not only his touch, but his words alone could like make you cum.

Your mouths connected again, his hands grabbing your ass roughly and pulling you into him as he ground his hips into yours. Your hands while tangled in his hair, quickly got on the same track as your brain, moving to his shirt to tug it off.

If he was gonna rub his dick against you like that and expect you not to act like a sex starved being, especially in your condition, then he was sorely mistaken.

He pulled away from your touch, causing you to scowl, but you were relieved to see he was just shedding his shirt. You were awarded with the glorious sight of his bare chest and stomach. If only he’d let you have a minute to just kiss and suck and lick the entirely of his naked upper half…

Much to your disappointment, he didn’t return to your lips, he stayed where he was, pulling off your shorts, cursing at the sight.

“I didn’t think you were wearing underwear when you pulled that bending over stunt,” he grunted.

You smirked, a bit proud of yourself.

“You sure stared long enough.”

“Yeah because all I wanted to do was take you, bent over like that,” Steve ground out.

Your thighs clenched, another pool of warmth gathering between them.

He tutted, like scolding a child as he once again pushed your thighs apart, readying you for his next level of teasing. He was on his knees before you before you could protest, his lips leaving a gentle kiss against your inner thigh.

“I’ve been so wet all day because of you,” you moaned, your desperation already showing.

You really were screwed if he had too much more teasing planned because you were already so desperate for him to have his way with you.

“And now you’re gonna learn how to be patient, aren’t you baby girl?”

He trailed his fingers along your entrance, gathering your slick.

“Yes, Steve,” you nodded eagerly.

You’d probably agree to anything right now as long as made home do something.

A finger pressed against your clit with just enough pressure to make you hiss through your teeth. Then came his tongue, licking a slit all the way up your lips.

“Oh, fuck,” you breathed.

His touch left you, his tongue taking over the job. With a few gentle laps at your clit, he moved on, tongue thrusting in and out of your entrance.

You moaned louder, entire body arching, your hands on his hair, wanting to keep him there forever. It never failed to amaze you that he knew just how to kiss, suck and lick every inch of you perfectly.

His fingers rejoined the performance, gliding in and out of you with ease, twisting and curling in perfect time with the coil of your building orgasm. His lips sucked on your clit, only adding to the bliss.

You were out of control, you’d never felt on fire like this before. Your hips were grinding against his face, body arched and hands squeezing your boobs, pinching your nipples. He was going to send you to an early grave. He was definitely going to send you to heaven during this orgasm.

“I’m close,” you whined, thighs squeezing at the sides of his head.

He held your thighs in one hand and did the worst possible thing.

You were seconds away from shattering completely when all contact was gone. His fingers were gone from you and so was his mouth.

“No, no,” you whined, “Steve, what the fuck?”

“Patience, darling,” he smirked that infuriating smirk.

He was soon forgiven when he started back up, your orgasm closer and stronger than it previously had been.

When he stopped a second time, right at the last second, you didn’t know whether to cry in frustration or slap him.

Apparently, your mouth decided on anger before your brain could catch up.

“I’m going to fucking kill you, Harrington.”

“How bad do you want to cum?”

The gleam in his eyes was wicked, the desire driving him almost as wild as you’d been acting. By this point, your brain was shut off and your mouth was saying whatever. If anyone else were to overhear, they might’ve mistaken you and Steve for an actual porno.

“So bad, so bad,” you whimpered.

“Say please,” his grin was as wicked as his stare.

“Please, Steve, please.”

You were actually going to combust when he was through with his teasing. You were actually going to explode into a million little pieces and float towards the earth like ash raining down. Not that you cared less. You welcomed it.

The second time he resumed, his fingers moved quicker, licks and sucks harsher as he was determined to let you finish this time. Maybe there was something to this science because the building knot was even stronger than the previous two times and you were sure you were gonna make a mess all over Steve’s face.

You were squirming inadvertently on the desk, hands holding his head right where you wanted him because over your fucking dead body was he going to quit before you could cum.

Your moans filled the room the only other sound your labored breathing and whines.

“Oh, fuck!” you partially screeched, a long moan laced with your words.

Your orgasm hit and your entire body trembled with the strength of one you’d never, ever felt. The journey had been pure torture, but damn if the pay off wasn’t worth it.

The aftershocks were just as powerful and you whimpered, trying to push him away as your entire lower half had become too sensitive for more at the moment.

Steve sat back, chin still glistening with a satisfied grin on his face. Wiping his chin on his shoulder, he stood, taking your face in his hands.

“Holy shit,” you have groaned, amazed just by him.

“You okay? We can stop now if you need to.”

“Oh hell no,” you laughed, still trying to catch your breath, “Just give me a moment.”

You leaned forward and kissed him again, one hand bypassing his pants and boxers, reaching in to grip his now throbbing cock, firmly. You pressed a kiss to his chest as his eyes fluttered closed at your touch.

You pumped him slowly, your wrist turning slowly, teasing him now.

“I thought this was your lesson,” he groaned, resting his forehead against yours.

“I happen to like hearing you moan,” you smiled, devilishly.

“I don’t want to cum unless I’m inside you,” he breathed.

“Then what are you waiting for?”

You removed your hand, pushing his pants down his hips, his boxers going as well.

“Come here,” he murmured, pulling you in for another kiss.

In the midst of the kiss, your hand wrapped around his cock once again, guiding him to your entrance. He pushed into you, mutual moans of pleasure coming from both of you.

“So good, fuck you’re so good for me, Y/N,” Steve mumbled hand on your cheek, giving you another quick kiss as he started moving at a slow, languid pace.

You didn’t complain at the moment, just enjoying the feeling of him moving in and out, his hard length gliding and running against you in such a pleasant way.

“Come on Steve,” you provoked, “I know you can do better than that.”

He growled, gaze boring into yours as he grabbed your ass, lurching you for in one swift, hard motion as he thrust into you roughly, making your head loll back.

“Jesus,” you moaned, gripping his shoulders, suddenly short of breath once again, “Yeah, that’s m-more like it.”

Just as your hips were getting used to the rougher pace, he pulls out of you completely leaving you aching and shaking, left wanting more.

You let out a protesting whine, but he shushes you.

“I wanna try something different, is that okay?”

You nodded, letting him manipulate your body like he wanted it.

He turned you around, bending you over the desk, wrapping one arm protectively around your abdomen, protecting your vulnerable bump, so it wouldn’t hit the edge of the desk.

The small gesture makes you smile and you turn your head, kissing the shoulder of that arm.

Your smile fades quickly into your mouth dropping in pleasure as he thrusts back into you, the angle allowing you to feel him so deep, it automatically has your body shaking.

“I got you, I got you,” Steve mutters against your shoulder as he thrusts roughly into you, holding onto your front firmly, aiding you in your own backwards thrusts of your hips.

“Fuuuuuck, fuck, fuck, fucking hell, Steve,” you’re a moaning, babbling mess, fully drunk on him and his cock buried in you.

Your hair is wild in your face and you push it back, your body rocking back against his and you reach out to grip the edge of the desk. Your other hand hasn’t moved from where it rests over his, as if double protecting the growing baby inside you.

“Is it as good as you imagined all day, baby? Shit,” he grit his teeth, moaning the curse at the end of his sentence.

“Better,” you moan, throwing your head back against his shoulder, “So much fucking better.”

He’s repeatedly hitting a spot so deep with you that your eyes might be rolling back in your head. His hair brushes your cheek as he bends over you, reaching down between your legs.

His thrusts are becoming erratic and you know he’s dangerously close and trying to hurry you to your climax. You’re unintentionally squeezing around his cock, your muscles quivering and contracting from your own pleasure.

He finger circles your clit frantically and the pressure starts building inside you again, signaling your impending orgasm is near. His hand’s frantic movements matched his hips frantic pace.

“Wanna cum,” he moaned lowly, “Wanna cum so hard in you, baby girl.”

“Do it,” you begged, “Fuck, Steve, please. Make me a mess. Fuck, I love you so much.”

Your mouth was forming and releasing words that you had no comprehension of, you were so close and with every thrust, he got you closer.

Another mind blowing orgasm hit you and you moaned his name repeatedly, clutching on to him and distantly you heard your own name falling from his lips. You could feel his body that was now slick against yours, tense and shudder as his own body was wracked with his own ecstasy.

You were spent by the time he slid out of you, your entrance sensitive and dripping from your combined releases. You would’ve fallen forward against the desk due to your wobbling, unsteady legs, but he balanced you in both arms, scooping you up in them.

The exhaustion was heavy in your limbs. Pregnancy sex was mind blowingly amazing, but the exhaustion afterwards was twice as bad.

“Your papers,” you mumbled weakly.

“I’ll worry about them later,” Steve answered, “Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

He carried you to the bedroom, laying you on the bed while he went to the bathroom. He returned with a damp washcloth, wiping your thighs clean and running it gently between your legs, knowing you were still incredibly sensitive.

You open an eye when he returns from discarding the rag.

“You know, it won’t be too much longer before I’ll be too big for us to do that,” you said, motioning to the doorway, meaning your precious little escapade.

“Then we’ll just have to enjoy it while we can,” Steve smirked, laying down next to you.

“By the way, I’m thankful it’s all your fault I’m so horny because you sure deliver,” you mumbled, already half asleep.

“Go to sleep, baby,” he chuckled.

You were out before he finished his sentence.

[icanbeyourjedi-writes]

It Was Just A Dream... Chapter Two

Summary: Frankie is all moved in, or is he? A cute game of cat and mouse has an ending you wouldn’t expect, Frankie’s mood swings end with an outcome neither of them expected.  Words: 5,000+ Rating: 18+ Adult Themes Warnings/Triggers:  Addiction, Falling for Your Brothers Friend, Language, OFC is somewhat described as someone with longer hair, but no race/eye color/body type  

A/N: I don’t know much about addiction, just the things that I googled and seen portrayed on TV. This is completely an AU. I had the beginning of this story pop in my head randomly and thought it sounded fun to explore. Sure we all love Frankie was that sweet puppy dog…but what if he had his own inner demons he had to battle with.  The ‘coke charge’ was mentioned in TF and I kinda wanted to explore that side of him. 

**This is written asa  first person, and it's my first time writing in first person, so please be gentle with me. I also include Frankie's POV which will be Bold and Italics

It took two days, four, well three and a half strong men moved all of Frankie’s stuff. My house might be small, but the best part. Despite only having two bedrooms, the bedrooms are huge. The guest room is slightly smaller than my master and there isn’t an attached bathroom but still plenty is space for his stuff. I kept the small desk there, well honestly that was the only thing I had there. Five years of living here and my guest room was still empty. Mostly why I think Benny volunteered my space, I was also someone he knew. All of Frankie’s belongings were still in taped boxes. We didn’t know how long Benny was going to be gone, it made sense to bring more than just a duffle bag of stuff. 

It's been two weeks since he had moved in, his clothes still in boxes, extra bedding still in boxes. He’s been wearing the same gray sweatpants and black shirt since he got here. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a man in specifically gray ones as much as the next girl, but he hasn’t changed. I don’t even know if he has showered. Seeing him all mopey is making me mad and slightly frustrated. I know he would much rather be back at what has been his home for years, but he needs help and I want to help. I just have no idea what I am doing. I’m feeling guilty making him move, and I know I shouldn’t. 

Thanks to having no social life I had a lot of PTO built up, I’ve been off these two weeks trying to help him feel at home. It’s been mostly awkward living with him when it shouldn’t. Awkward grunts, one word answers, he eats alone despite my best efforts. Yesterday he came out of his room and talked to me, it was about a cricket outside his window that just wouldn’t shut up. It was the first time he seemed to be normal? Is that even the right word, what is normal? 

It’s late afternoon, and he had been in his room the entire day. Walking past his room and I see him sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the boxes sitting along the wall picking at his fingernails. He has had mood swings that have him going from happy to sad in seconds.  I thought about walking past him again, keep going on with my day.  But I couldn’t stand seeing the boxes still stacked. It felt like he was ready to move as soon as Benny stepped foot on American soil again, and I was terrified of seeing him live like he didn’t belong here.  I stop and gently tap on the open door, “hey…you want some help with those?”

He doesn’t look up at me, instead he just continues to stare at the box, “there’s just so much, I don’t know where to start” he takes a deep breath hanging his head 

I walk into his room, he is still sitting on the bed. I grab the top box labeled ‘shirts’ and then turn back towards him. I tap his foot with mine, motioning with my head he needs to move. He stands up and watches as I drop the box on the bed and start grabbing a few shirts and put them in one of the many empty drawers. I hear him sigh with disapproval and I look at him “What?” I groan in frustration 

“They need to be folded neatly, and by color. As well as style, but it’s fine…it’s fine. I’ll just do it later” he rubs the back of his neck

Call it being a perfectionist, I call it someone who was trained that everything always had to have order.  Everything needed to have crisp lines, be organized.  Having its rightful spot, years of military training would do this to a person and I was all too aware that it wasn’t fine.

I pull the shirts back out of the drawer, hoping he doesn’t see my eye roll and I set them back in the box. I didn’t expect this to be easy, but I also didn’t expect I was going to have to be his mother and not a friend. I didn’t think I was going to have to tell Frankie to eat, to take a shower. All the things I thought he already knew, was he like this in rehab? “Then refold the shirts and put them in the drawer” shit was that too aggressive? “I think I might make you feel more at home if you do” I put a hand on his shoulder gently rubbing it. 

I watch as he takes a shirt out, folds it meticulously. The edges of the shirt are perfect, he sets it on the bed, his hand running over the shirt, taking out any wrinkles. Every shirt has an order, by color, type, it is memorizing watching him as he moves. Folding every time with such perfection. I have to shake my head and snap out of it, I grab another box and open it to find it stuffed with boxers. He is completely focused on his shirts as I work to put the boxer briefs in a drawer hoping the fold in half method works for him. 

I pull out black pair after black pair.  There was an occasional gray mixed in. After seeing him in those gray sweatpants for the past two weeks my mind can’t help but imagine him in these and how great they would make his thighs look, his…’stop.  Don’t think about that. He’s now your roommate you can’t do that’ all those thots fall when I pull out a baby blue pair with little cat heads wearing headsets. Different types of helicopters fill the empty space between the cat faces. I can’t but giggle holding them up, Frankie stops what he is doing and looks up, “care to explain these” holding the boxers in the air and shake them, I arch an eyebrow at him smiling 

He reaches across and snatches them from my hands “nope…” he paused for a moment fold the boxers in half “you got them” he places them on the bottom of the drawer under the pile of black ones 

“I did?” I truly don’t remember. One would think someone would remember getting boxers that looked like that 

“Yeah, Christmas a few years ago” he returns his focus to the shirts in the box

”Oh my God, you’re right. I did” I laugh

”You said, that I was impossible to shop for, and you wanted something unique to remember you when I was away” 

Frankie is the most impossible person to shop for. He always would say he didn’t need anything, he said to not waste money on a guy like him. He wasn’t worth it. I watch Frankie roll his eyes as I tell him again that he is impossible to shop for. A hint of a smile begins to appear and I think that we might have a breakthrough. I finished the box I was working on, broke it down and leaned it against the wall. Frankie pulls out his last shirt and folds it, setting it on the top of a pile. Grabbing the small stack he turns and starts to put them in the top drawer. I grab the box and start to break it down when I see a film strip inside. I reach in and grab the photos. 

I stare at them, a clean shaven, wide-eyed twenty something Francisco Morales. I had a photo from this shoot, but I never saw these two. It was before his first deployment and the guys went and did some ‘glamor shots’ as a gag gift. Frankie’s in a purple shirt and leather jacket. His brown hair falling perfectly into place. The first photo his hands are in his back pockets. Showing off his impressive chest and broad shoulders, his smile that makes one’s heart beat a little faster and an instant panty dropper. The other, I swear, he could have been a model. His arms crossed over his chest. His biceps bursting the seams of his jacket, his lips pursed together in a brooding expression. Holy shit, he’s hot…“What do we have here?”

Frankie turns and looks at me, it takes a moment for him to realize what I’m holding in my hand. “Give those here” he reaches for them and I quickly pull them away

”Nope…” I laugh and hold them up, inspecting the photos a bit more

”Lex” he says, a bit more authoritative, it’s deep and it’s sexy. He takes a step towards me, I take a couple small steps towards his open door. I try to keep a distance between us 

I have a small idea, “you want them?” I ask slowly moving backward closer to the door, he starts to close the distance nodding his head yes, “then you’ll just have to come and get them” I smile and turn to run through the door. 

He bolts out of the room following me, I forget how fast he is and how incredibly silent he can be. He’s on my heels in an instant and I run a circle around the couch. Heading past him and into the kitchen, stopping at one end of the small island. He’s facing me on the other side “Lex…” he says.  I smile, laugh and run past his outstretched arm.  

“Gotta be quicker than that Morales” I ran around the house again, waiting for him to turn and find me again. I lose my breath as I’m back in his room, the bed as a barrier between us. I look at the photos and see him strut back into his room. I clearly didn’t think this through completely as I find myself trapped on the one side of the bed. Frankie blocking the only exit. He starts to walk around the bed, he’s standing at the end while I move further up closer to the headboard. I’m waiting for him, I have my escape planned. He fakes a step to the left towards me and I step up onto his bed. The piles of shirts start to fall when I bring my other foot up. He reaches across the bed, “Bad move, Miller” he snarls and wraps a hand around my ankle pulling it out and dropping me to the bed. 

I hold the photos above my head, he pulls me closer. Placing his thigh is between my legs and crawling the bed until  he’s hovering over my body. We’re both laughing and I struggle to keep the photos out of his reach. His large hand captures both of my wrists and pins them to the bed. I squirm below him, trying to break free.  “Stop moving” he grunts, his other hand lands on my hip. Holding me tightly in place, my shirt slightly raised and his thumb slowly rubbing against my bare skin. Our laughter slowly turns into heavy breathing. 

His face is so close, I can feel his warm breath. His eyes are so full of life now, I see the small parts of the old Frankie. The Frankie that became a friend, family, a crush. My heart is pounding and I am pretty positive Frankie can hear it, his hand is setting my skin on fire and I have no idea what is happening. But I want to kiss him, I want him to kiss me, I want to feel his lips on mine. “Frankie…” I whisper 

“Hmmm” he leans closer to me, his nose brushing along mine 

I don’t know what I was going to say, I didn’t imagine us ending up like this. I clearly didn’t think this through and I have no idea what to do. Time seems to move slow, and I don’t know how long we stay like this. His eyes focused on mine, I feel like he is looking into my soul. Does he want me to kiss him? Should I kiss him? His hand still wrapped around my wrists, the other still holding my hip. 

“KISS HIM ALREADY” my inner voice yells. I finally make a move, I close the short distance between, my lips just about to touch his when my phone rings in my back pocket. His hand releases my wrists and he sits up on the bed. I close my eyes, wishing I didn’t take so long to make the move. I reach behind me, pulling out my phone. It was work, I smiled and mouth a sorry to him, sliding the answer button and bringing the phone to my ear. “Hello” I stand and walk out of his room 

“Why didn’t I kiss her? She was right there…would she even want me to kiss her?” He thinks to himself, running his fingers through his hair 

He looks at himself in the mirror. The same sweatpants he’s been wearing for well over a week, he looked like a hot mess. At least the shirt was clean, or he thought his shirt was clean. He sees the unruly hair, the 5 o’clock shadow had turned into a fully grown beard. “Because you're a pathetic loser, look at you. She’d never want you to kiss her” that negative voice inside him says. Frankie shakes his head, hands covering his face. He rubs his eyes and tries to remember Will telling him wasn’t.  But the thing is, Will was never a very good liar and the voice becomes louder and louder. 

“Fishie…hey Fish” her voice brings him back. He looks up at her “hey, you ok?

“yeah…yeah” he says, but her face tells him she doesn’t believe him. 

“uhm, ok.  I gotta run to work for a bit. I’m not sure when I’ll be home but there’s money on the table. Order some take out”  

He nods, giving her his best smile and watches as she walks away. He hears the door open and close.  Standing up he peeks his head out the door, he doesn’t hear her. He just needs to take the edge off. He knows he will feel a lot better when he can’t feel anything again. He knows he doesn’t have much left, but enough to last him at least today. He’ll worry about tomorrow-tomorrow. Thank God he hid the green can well enough that Alex didn’t find it. Just one hit, that’s all he needs.

“Take a shower, you’ll feel better after a shower. You’re better than this” he can hear Will’s voice. 

It didn’t.

“Food, get some food. Don’t do this Cat” the voice says

My phone dances on my desk as I finish some paperwork. I had plenty of PTO built up, but the doctor's office had an influx of new patients and I was one of the few who knew how to enter all the data and get them set up. It wasn’t where I pictured myself when I graduated college with a degree in film.  But it’s a good paying job, and it kept me close to home. 

Fishie 🐟: u like Pad Thai 🍲 

Me: Not really, and I don’t think that’s Pad Thai haha

Fishie 🐟: oh ok what u want? 

I type back a response, telling him to order what he wants. The money on the table was for him to do what he wanted. I might not like Pad Thai, but that shouldn’t stop him from ordering it. I finish typing a few things and grab my phone. I walked over to some of my coworkers who were getting ready to head out as well. I lean against Laura’s desk. She was chatting with a few of the nurses, I watched my phone as the little bubble with dots popped up, then disappeared, appeared again, and disappeared again. I sigh, my head drops. His mood swings are driving me insane. 

Me: I like noodles, with teriyaki sauce if that counts as Pad Thai

“What’s up Buttercup” Laura smiles cheerfully

”Have you ever had to help a friend with an addiction?” I look up, the mouths all open “seriously. A friend, not me” 

“What kind of addiction?” Laura asks, she was my go-to at work. Her upbeat attitude always had the answers 

“Narcotics…” I reply 

Is this friend living with you?” a nurse asks 

I tell them how the friend just got out of rehab, I leave out the part that the friend is a he, and the he is Frankie. I tell them how rehab said something about how they shouldn’t be left alone, doctors orders they need to live with someone in case of a relapse. “Sometimes I feel like I see the person I became friends with, then sometimes hhhh-they are a completely different person. Someone I don’t even know and it’s only been two weeks” 

“Just keep being there for them, don’t push too hard. But they need to know you are there for him. I mean them, no matter what it is, they can trust you” she puts a hand on top of mine 

“You can’t give up on them.  No matter how hard they try to push you away, you push back. They’ll have their moments but like Laura said, you just need to be there. Letting them know you won’t give up on them” 

“Thanks,” I take a deep breath and stare at my phone, he still hasn’t responded “I just wish I knew what he needed, he doesn’t talk” 

“Give it time, he will open up when he’s ready” 

'Did she just say he? How does she know' I think

I walk into the house, kicking off my shoes and dropping my purse off on the little side table. I hear grunting from down the hall. ‘Oh please don’t tell me he has a girl here’ I think to myself moving towards his room. “Frankie?” 

T-Shirts he had just folded and pants were thrown into the hall. I move towards the open door dodging pants being thrown out as I get close, I look into his room and it looks like a tornado hit. The mattress shoved against the wall, drawers empty and pulled from the dresser, clothes thrown around the room. I see Frankie bent over in his closet he had on a new pair of dark green sweats on, he’s shirtless. Little water droplets still cling to his hair and a towel draped over the back of a chair. 

“Where the fuck is it?!” he shouts as I watch him throw more things around. 

“Where is what?” I ask, and instantly regret it 

He turned quickly looking at me, his eyes filled with rage and nostrils flaring. I’ve never seen this look before, and he slowly starts to walk towards me. There’s an evil glint to his eye and it scares me. 

“Where the fuck did you put it Alexandra?” He snarls 

“If you told me what you are looking for…” I tried to not raise my voice, trying to keep calm. He needs me to remain calm. 

“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR! DON’T PLAY STUPID” 

The yelling intensifies and I know the neighbors can hear us, stay calm. Don’t make things worse. 

What happened to the Frankie from earlier? 

“I need you to calm down, Frankie. Please. Just tell me what you're looking for and I can help” I wanna put my hand on his shoulder, ground him. Let him know I’m here, but he’s breathing heavy, his lip curls up in an evil grin. 

“I know you have it!” he says in an oddly calm manner, “JUST GIVE IT TO ME!!!” He yells 

He takes a step closer, he raises his fist. I flinch as the closed hand comes flying towards me and it connects with the wall inches from my head. “Give it to me now Alex” he growls

“What in the hell is your problem!?” I yell shoving his chest back

“You! Benny! This stupid fucking place. I don’t want to be here!” His eyes begin to water and a tear streams down his cheek, he takes a couple steps back

“Fine, then fucking leave! No one is forcing you to be here Francisco” I try to hold back by own tears “I am sick and tired of seeing you being all mopey and shit.  You don’t want to be here, FINE” 

Shit…I am pretty sure I just over stepped. I go to open my mouth to apologize and there is a hard knock at the door followed by a “Police” 

“You called the Police?” He shouts 

“I’ve been standing in front of you the entire time arguing with you. When would I have had time to call the police?” I say, I back up and move towards the front door. The knocks become more aggressive “I’m coming!” 

I unlock the door and see three officers standing there. They all have a concerned look on their faces

”Good evening ma’am. We got a call about some yelling and wanted to make sure everything was ok” the taller officer said

”Everything is fine. It’s great. Just swell” my words are dripped with sarcasm

“Do you mind stepping outside to talk to my partner Officer James” he looks over my shoulder and sees Frankie, “hey there sir.  Mind coming over here for a moment?” 

He is sitting on the porch as she stands by the car. He fucked up, she’s given up on him. He’s given up on himself. 

“What’s your name?” The youngest officer asks him 

Frankie reads the name printed on his chest. T. Baker. “Frank, my name is Frank and everything is fine Officer Baker” 

Baker keeps asking bin questions.  What happened, did she hit him. Did he hit her? How long has he been living here? What was their relationship? Frankie becoming more annoyed with each question. What did it matter? He fucked things up and he needed a hit more then ever. He was looking for his coke, she found him on a downward spiral but there was no way he was going to tell him that. Suddenly the questions take a turn, when Officer Baker notices a tattoo on his chest. 

“What branch?” 

“Excuse me” Frankie responds confused 

“Your tattoo?”

“Oh yeah, Army. Special Ops, I was a pilot” 

He has a tattoo on the left side of his chest, a helicopter flying. A sun and clouds shaded in the background. The helicopter with incredible detail, one of the ones he first learned how to fly. A few men repelling from the bird.  Just below a group of trees

“Thank you for your service sir.  Wait here, I have some stuff for you” Baker nods his head and walks to the patrol car 

He watches him shuffle down the stairs, he sees Alex and for a moment they lock eyes. His heart nearly stops as he sees the tears in her eyes that she quickly wipes away. He caused this pain and for what, a stupid little hit that was nearly enough to take away the pain. He ruined everything. The afternoon was so great, and now she wants him out. Officer Baker was walking back with a stack of papers in his hand. 

“For the hundredth time, he didn’t hurt me. He would never do that” I groaned. I have said the same thing over and over. Are they trying to get a different answer? Despite Frankie punching a hole in the wall, he would never lay a hand on me. 

I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes taking in a deep breath. When I open my eyes, I see Frankie. His eyes locked onto mine. The hurt, the pain, he looks lost. The officer hands him a stack of papers. His hands shaking as he takes them, he turns his head down and he walks into the house. 

“Ms. Miller, if you need anything else please give us a call” the officer sees his small notebook and sticks it in his chest pocket. “Have a good night” he walks past me and heads to his car. 

I head to the steps of my front porch watching the officer who had spoken to Frankie walk down. He stops me before I walk past him, “he’ll be ok. Just give it time. I’ve been there. He’s got a good girlfriend, just be patient with him” 

I stop in my tracks, my jaw drops. What the hell did Frankie tell him? “Wait…what?” I ask. But it was too late, the officer already getting back into his car. I shake my head and walk into the house locking the door behind me. 

It’s getting late and I’m hungry. I walk past the hallway that leads to the bedrooms and notice Frankie bent over picking up the clothes that had been thrown into the hallway. I should say something, I should apologize to him. I get distracted, watching the muscles in his back strain with every movement. ‘Focus Alex’. What is wrong with me, this man just put me through a roller coaster of emotions. I can’t get distracted by something as stupid as watching him work. 

I shake my head and walk towards the kitchen. I hope to find some leftover takeout since I know the fridge is empty. Instead I find the $20 left on the table in the same exact place I left it. I can’t leave, that would require me letting Frankie know, and it might be petty but I really don’t want to talk to him right now, maybe even for the rest of the night. I open the freezer and pray that the ice cream is still there. I open the door and find the pint of cookie dough ice cream still sitting there. I do a little happy dance and grab a spoon. I make my way to the living room and flop down on the sofa, turning on the TV and pop the top off digging in. 

“I fucked up…” he says to himself folding the shirts, putting them back in the dresser. He pushes the mattress back onto the frame and sits on the edge of his bed. He looks up and sees the hole he had punched into the wall. An image of Alex’s face floods his memory. He fucked up so bad that she didn’t even say two words to him when she came back into the house. He left the pamphlets on the coffee table, she’s going to find them. He knows it.

The papers were for local rehabs where VA’s held sobriety classes.  They had everything from AA to NA to Gambling. He didn’t want to go to rehab again, he felt more alone then he ever had there. That’s where he met George, well Steve really. He made it though those 30 days thanks to him smuggling in just enough coke to help them both function like normal adults. Nicole, well she helped in other ways. One keeping his secret and she helped him take his mind off things when he was able to bury himself in her. She wasn’t who he wanted, but she was there.  She was a quick fuck. It didn’t mean anything, and he felt bad when he told her it wasn’t going to last when he left. His mind racing with all these thoughts, he’ll finish cleaning later. He’ll patch the hole tomorrow. Right now he has something bigger to take care of. He needs to repair this whatever-ship he had with Alex. He needs her. 

He plops on the couch next to her, she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even look at him, she focused on the ice cream in her hand and the moving pictures on the TV

”Ice cream for dinner?” He asks ‘great icebreaker Morales, you idiot’ his inner demon mocks him 

“Yeah, the perk of being an adult. No one can tell me what to eat Franklin” she stuffs another spoon into her mouth, “that and someone didn’t buy dinner like I told them too” 

‘She called me Franklin…maybe she’s not that mad’ he reads her face, it’s softened…a hint of a smile. Then she said that last part, and it changes to instant regret. She turns to look at him “shit. I’m so sorry that was-“ 

“No…no I deserved that” he interrupts her, “can I have a bite?” 

She eyes him, something between a grin and a smirk on her face. She sticks the spoon into the ice cream and scoops out a tiny pile, moving the spoon to his open mouth. 

“I’m sorry Lex he says mouth full of ice cream

He looks at the ground, he’s picking at his nails. I can see the inner struggle he’s having and it breaks my heart, I have no idea how to help. I watch as his mind tries to find the words he wants to say. I go to open my mouth, but he stops me “I am really sorry” he says again 

“What happened today?” I ask him setting the ice cream on the table and turning to face him 

“I was looking for…fuck…I was looking for some coke. I thought I had some left. I am so sorry. I didn’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. Rehab didn’t do shit” he’s talking fast and I’m trying to keep up. 

He tells me about George, how they were doing just enough to get by.  Nicole helped them not get caught. He doesn’t know how George was able to get the contraband in, but he did. They exchanged information, and he was helping Frankie. He wasn’t doing as much as he used to, which I guess is good, he thought he had some left.  A small tin can was what he was looking for, he was terrified that I found it when we were unpacking. 

“How many days has it been?” I ask 

“I don’t know, maybe five days?” He doesn’t sound very positive 

“Maybe five days? How many days Frankie?” 

“Three…it’s been three days and I am going crazy” he says ‘then we almost kissed and I panicked and I was on edge and just needed a hit’ he thinks to himself 

“ok” she says and stands up. 

“Wait where are you going?” He asks, panic setting in 

He’s worried that she is going to get his bag, she’s gonna ask him to leave. This is too much, this isn’t what she signed up for. She’s given up on him. His head falls back, he wants this couch to eat him alive. He wanted to disappear before and that feeling is ten times worse, now that she knows his secret. 

She comes back a large poster in her hand, the other has a sharpie and stickers. She sits it on the table and sits on the floor next to Frankie. He watches as she makes little boxes, writing dates, making a calendar. Her tongue peeks out of her tongue as she concentrates on the task at hand. He leans forwards, and continues to watch over her shoulder. She looks up at him, “ok did you use today?”

He shakes his head no “I couldn’t find it”

“right..” she puts a little star sticker on today's date “and you said three days since the last time”

He nods. She puts a sticker on the past three days

“What are you doing?” He asks 

That was a great question. What was I doing? This idea sounded crazy in my head, even more crazy as I explained to Frankie. It would be like a reward chart.  Something like when you were a kid and had chores, you’d get a sticker for each thing completed. The more stickers you get a reward. The more I say this, and look at his face of confusion the more dumb this idea sounded. He isn’t a kid, I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. 

“This is stupid, just forget it.” I sigh pushing the stuff away from me

His large hands stop the poster from moving, he brings it closer. 

“What is my reward?” He asks curiously 

“Uhm…what do you want?” 

“Pancakes…” he says

”Pancakes? Really?” and he nods “ok how about we start with a week, you make it a week, I’ll make you pancakes” 

“With sprinkles?” His boyish smile is back, his eyes wide and I have a little hope that this stupid, wacky, insane idea might work

I smile and nod at him. I move to sit next to him on the couch, “I’ll have to go buy some. But sure, you can have sprinkles” 

“Hey Lexi, one more thing?” He asks “Can we get some helicopter stickers?”

I smile and cup his cheek, my thumb gently brushing the trimmed beard, “yes Franklin. We can get some helicopter stickers” 

ANN: A huge shout out to @musings-of-a-rose for helping me with this and giving me confidence to post this in first person. I am still terrified of it. @theewokingdead and @heythere-mel for listening to my random ass ideas at all hours. I love each and every one of you.



Looking for more of my fics check out my masterlist. And check out other writers at @littlemisspascal and their library for all Pedro Characters



Just A Dream Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

[cacoetheswriting]

I am loving Pearl so far, beautifully written, but WAIT because I have to know what the letters said 😭😭😭

thank you, anon! <3 i appreciate your sweet words 🥹 and thank you for asking, it inspired me to actually fill in this gap - hope you enjoy!

content warnings: best friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, mature themes, adult language, death of a parent, topics of grief, emotional hurt / comfort, self-doubt / insecurities - unedited - if i missed anything, pls let me know!

pearl masterlist

November 19, 1984

Eddie,

Sitting back in my dorm feels almost surreal. Everyone around me is going about their lives as normal, and I know I can’t be mad because obviously to them nothing’s changed, but how am I expected to join in normality? To just pick up where I left off at the start of the month?

You know what my chem professor told me? ‘We’ve all lost someone. The trick is to not make it your whole personality.’ In a way that makes sense to me. It’s logical. I can’t let my dad’s passing define me. And he obviously would want me to move on with my life. But Eddie, my heart bleeds. 

This grief… This grief is swallowing me whole. This grief has embedded itself into my core being and on most days, it’s fucking consuming me. I lost a parent, a protector, a friend. There are memories I’ll never get to make because he’s gone. I really lost a piece of myself. How come no one seems to get that?

You get that, right Eddie? I know you understand. You always understand.

I miss you. I miss my dad.

P.S. Excuse this tear stained paper. It’s a mess. I’m a mess.

P.P.S I’m sorry for running off on you the day of the funeral. It was just… a lot.

November 22, 1984

Eddie,

Nothing makes sense anymore. (Also, I know I just wrote you, but I haven’t sent that letter yet so you’ll get both together and can respond to them as one.)

I’m trying to catch up on the material I missed and the words blend together before my eyes. Well, I only have myself to blame. My mom offered for me to take the rest of the semester off and start fresh from the new year, but I thought the distraction would help. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I’m so sad all the time. And you know what the worst part is? Aside from the nightmares and this restlessness I’ve felt since the funeral, I just can’t stop thinking about you. What is Eddie doing, who is he with, does he think about me too?

Well, do you? God, this is fucking stupid. I know you do ‘cause you fucking call me everyday and I can’t bring myself to answer or call you back… Stupid…

I also think about our last moment together often… Actually, please ignore this letter, Eddie. Don’t respond. Like I said, nothing makes sense anymore, including my thoughts.

I miss you.

November 27, 1984

Eddie,

I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring your calls. I’m sorry I’ve had my roommate make up stupid excuses for me, that’s so lame. Most of all though, I’m sorry I haven’t called you back. 

You’re trying to be there for me and I’m pushing you away. That’s shitty of me and really unforgivable. But the thing is, I think I’m doing it because I know you’ll always forgive me. That’s even shittier of me. I’m awful.

You deserve a better friend, Eddie Munson. You deserve the world and I only wish I could give you that. Instead, you’re stuck with a girl who runs away from uncomfortable situations and hurts you in the process.

I wish I could go back to the day of the funeral and change

November 30, 1984

I spent the entire day listening to my mom cry over the phone — tell me, does it make me heartless for not shedding a single tear? Thinking now, this is the first time I haven’t cried since the funeral.

Anyway, I’m failing the semester. Surprise, surprise.

Also, Jonathan and Nancy came to visit. Why didn’t you come with them? God, why am I such a loser? Won’t speak with you over the phone, but gets mad when you don’t take time from school to come see me. I’m sick of myself.

P.S. Thank you for regularly doing the groceries for my mom and helping her around the house. You have no idea how much that means to her, and to me. I love— Thank you, Eddie.

December 4, 1984

It’s been a month since my dad died.

The grief hasn’t surpassed. If anything, it’s gotten stronger. My roommate has to force me to do basic human things like eat and sometimes even shower. She’s really been my rock here these last few weeks. You’d like her, I think. She couldn’t be more different than you in style, but she’s funny. 

I know you probably don’t have a high opinion of her now, considering she’s helping me avoid you, but—

I should really call you back. I’m sorry.

December 10, 1984

I haven’t sent a single one of these letters. You’ll probably never read them and know how truly awful I feel for ignoring you.

Eddie, how come things have gotten so complicated? You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s all on me. I wish we could go back to that day at Lover's Lake when you played your guitar for me. That was bliss.

I miss you, my Bobby McGee.

December 14, 1984

Eddie, you didn’t call today.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Not like I’ve given you a reason to call.

I wonder if you’ll even want to see me when I come home for the holidays. Probably not. That’s okay though. That’s okay…

December 19, 1984

Eddie,

Perhaps I’m saying this a little too late, but I appreciate you. Thank you for being my best friend and the entire reason why I know I’m going to be okay.

I think I’m in love with you. No. I know I am.

And I’m going to give you all these letters. Hopefully, you’ll read them in front of me so I can see your reaction when I say:

I love you, Eddie Munson. 

I’m coming home for the holidays. I’ll come see you and I’ll apologise. With any luck, you’ll forgive me for being a cold-hearted bitch. With any luck, although I probably don’t deserve it, you’ll be my person again.

I'm yours, forever.

thank you for reading <3

& tagging some cool people that expressed interest in this lil series: @cactusangie , @spenciesprincess , @capitanostella , @ashlynnkennedy , @ms1oftheboys

pearl masterlist

[faithfromanewperspective]

sugar coated brain (the fluid ain’t to blame): unraveling Conor Aurelian

I don’t know if this is me admitting to have read embarrassingly little in terms of Actual Books since I turned 18 but. Wow. I loved sword catcher, and for once I was there eating up the plot rather than only relating to the characters so much I was obsessively hoping for a happy ending for them. 

I’ve said before that sword catcher was good, so good it’s almost above fandom discourse (like a Beethoven symphony perhaps, you think twice before making arrangements of a masterpiece like that) but even the best symphonies deserve, actually they’re honoured by, critical analysis of the phrasing and melodies and that which are used. And this is a Cassandra Clare book after all. The beauty comes from beautifully (read: realistic, somehow more human than real humans idk I’m blown away every time) constructed characters, and then from the plot. Which was character-driven and so, so delicious, but we’re not talking those kind of spoilers this early in the game. 

While I’ll admit that Kel was the most relatable character, followed by Lin or maybe Ana, there were some things about Conor that just cut a little too close in ways I hadn’t thought about in years. Taking me back to some worldbuilding of my childhood, a ‘reluctant princess’ I came up with based on feeling trapped and overprotected and that fantasy world has long since been archived in my head and it’s entertaining to think this weird kid in western sydney who didn’t get to run quite as wild as some of the other kids (but still did get to run quite wild) felt like that when we were the furthest thing from royalty. I didn’t expect to be reminded of that in an adult fantasy book, but here we are, and I’m being entertained to see all the different takes on Conor: some driven to fascination, some to annoyance, and somehow in the 5 of us who’ve actually read sword catcher already everything in between. 

But let’s be real for a second: who hasn’t heard the ‘oh you can’t be depressed you have everything you need’ and been like. Really hurt by it?? Who hasn’t sat among know it all adults in their younger years who would just judge the hell out of other young people who supposedly ‘never got to hear no’ and now they have ‘no resilience’ and ‘no wonder they’re having problems’? Referring to people you actually relate to and thought, well this definitely isn’t a safe space to be vulnerable I’ll just suffer in silence? I’ve grown up enough now to see Lin’s trauma behind the way she says this about Conor but part of me is still a little mad at her. As for Conor?? He’s everything I’d expect from someone in his position and I actually don’t think the majority of it comes from ‘never hearing no’ and ‘getting everything he wants’ but rather the things that those try to make up for: a lack of real autonomy over his life, not being allowed to feel Normal Child Feelings, having no one he can relate to and see as an equal, a heavy burden of responsibility before he was ever old enough to understand it, and the many levels of fuckery that’s all done to his parents making them not just emotionally unavailable but frivolous, trying to maintain their own autonomy and connection doing silly little rich people hobbies that just make the divide between and resentment of them vs Every Other Person greater (constant stargazing or Decoration and Control). Sugar-coated brains: how could they not be when everything revolves around you but there’s so little you can actually do but pursue the pleasure you’re told you’re entitled to? 

I didn’t expect to be this mad at the royal family culture within SC but when I look back on it I’m not surprised. Not when the setting of the book is on the edge of a revolution, the unraveling of a society that feels so much like today and allows me to zoom out in a way that makes my little revolutionist heart happy. But oh, the angst and the bad decisions as the world teeters on that razorblade. The lives that are lost in the fray. I don’t know what’s happening in our world now but after Cast Long Shadows and an arc I know that she’s proud of (our dear Matthew Fairchild) I do trust Cassie. And in the meantime I’ll let her convince me of what I already know: the lives of nobility are simply pawns in a much bigger game no one (except maybe Ana) knows how to take the reins of, and the life of a pawn, no matter the luxuries, is a sorry life indeed. 

This little revolutionist brain of the 2000s had one thing right, and I feel vindicated to see it in such clarity here: the relationship between social class and genuine connection. From the stark contrast of the opening with Cas and Kel, even also Mari and Lin, against the disaster that is the royal family, it couldn’t be clearer to me: when you’re nobody, when there are no expectations of you, you can be who you really are. Maybe not in the eyes of the authorities, and that’s an important distinction to make, but there’s no need to pretend around your nearest and dearest and sometimes that’s worth so much more than hypothetical safety. Because yes you can get away with things when you’re rich but you’ve also got more people trying to assassinate you for who you are specifically rather than just running the risk of getting killed because you’re unlucky and too unimportant for anyone to think you’d be missed. When you’re royalty (or just have parents with really high expectations or are a gifted kid even) you’re given a mold to grow into and no one really asks if that’s who you really are: why would they, when their worldview depends on you being exactly who they want you to be? So if you’re not it you pretend and even with those, like your children, who are close enough to see behind the ruse, you never quite show them who you really are either. You can see how that would drive one insane. You showcase that the only way to exist is to mask until you snap, or lose the ability to be yourself at all. Which leads me to the second type of sugar coat. 

(And I’m quoting songs as my inspo behind this post as always, title quote is empty wallets by 5sos and I’m about to move onto sugar coat by little big town aka the band with an irl fairchild in it): this sugar coat is politeness and etiquette. There’s a quote somewhere in Kel’s narration I believe that I can’t find but basically views social etiquette and the like as you know. War strategy or something, which is another little segment of the reminder it’s cassie writing this and there’s a lot of accidental neurodivergence, or neurodivergence existing in a world so very different to ours, because that’s a very neurodivergent way of viewing it imo. And in this case, the sugar coat is like a constructed mask you spend your whole life trying to perfect, wear it as it’s handed down from your predecessors: in Conor’s case, lilibet (passed down from my mum, she wears it so well, put it on my shoulders said it’s colder out there than you think/would I recognise myself, would anybody else, if I took the damn thing off and burned it up?) who does make the frivolity and politics of being queen into her whole personality. She’s equally a pitiable and annoying character for that. 

But as for Conor? He’s a Cassandra Clare Created (TM) young man. Of course he can’t quite manage this kind of sugar coat business. The politeness, the etiquette, the little social dances: he longs for real connection (and now we’re back in empty wallets territory, get you high when I’m high, so we see eye to eye: to me this sums out how he makes connections with those who are nowhere near his equals but he wants to have some sort of equal footed connection with: Kel and *[redacted minor spoiler, see below cut]). He’s snapping from the pressure of it, and that’s exactly the kind of driving force for the narrative Cassie uses excellently. We see him coming undone, and hate it (or at least I do) but hope maybe, maybe it’s the path for liberation for him from the life that’s obviously making him (more) depressed (than he otherwise might be), and as the audience we don’t care if the kingdom burns down for this, as long as it doesn’t cause too much collateral damage. And we know it’s going to be a wild ride to get there. 

I don’t reckon this is obvious to everyone else but it is to me, with my experience of Christianity and life and just everything that if you’re a leader in any way, you’re a better leader for being liberated in yourself, having autonomy and appropriate boundaries and Conor has none of that and he’s coming undone and yes there’s a lot of other characters (who I will post about later) with their own arcs and A LOT going on (seriously it’s so deliciously complex and so much more so than tsc ever was with maybe the exception of tec which is kind of adult fantasy anyway). But oh. She really knows how to deliver, all through the first book and I can’t wait to see what the next one has to offer!! And to me the characterisation of Conor is just proof on how expertly the whole world of Castellane and it’s stories is being carried out. 

BIG GAP CAUSE CUT ISNT WORKING

*and Lin later on, kind of

tagging: @daisymylove and feel free to mention anyone who might like it in comments/reblogs!

[1bringthesun]

have any of you read “Dancing Girl?” gosh, it just made me sad. Mori Ougai is a really good author haha, hahaha. hah… h-

.

..

…

yeah i’m relating this to bsd! Mori. BITE ME!! ahem. so in this essay i will be talking about Elise and Mori’s relationship. i’ve already established i don’t see her as his “wife” or the object of his sexual desires, and i’ve also mentioned i like the “Elise is his daughter,” way of seeing things, however … well, there’s more than just that.

1) Elise represents his inner child

2) Elise preserves the memory of a dead lover and is his “partner”

3) Elise is a child-figure to him

those numbers will be reused in that order to mean the same thing later, but first, background and “Dancing Girl!”

so i think that, within the definition of his and Elise’s relationship, Mori embodies Toyotarou from “Dancing Girl” more than Kanei from “Vita Sexualis” (i think i learned which type of media went in italics and which sort in quotes some time in third grade, but it’s been entirely too long and therefore i’ve forgotten all of it and you’ll have to excuse my poor grammar if im messing it up). why, you may ask? well, first of all, Elise is literally from that novel. second of all, i’ve just skimmed vita sexualis (- an asexual) while “Dancing Girl” managed to catch my attention a lot more. plus, Mori was one of the characters that Asagiri explicitly stated he wanted to add in, and we all know just how evil Asagiri Kafka can be when he feels like it.

… why is the space so long ? why are these spaces different sizes?? this is really bugging me … but whatever, i’ll try my best to ignore it … (nevermind it looks perfectly normal when i post it i guess it’s just a. draft thing)

ahem, so, in “Dark Era,” Mori basically goes “damn Dazai you’re suicidal as hell! you remind me of myself hahah!” and i feel like that’s pretty concrete evidence Mori Did Not have a happy childhood (i mean, duh, considering he was trigger-happy to friendly fire as an important military man at 20 some years old) and was likely suicidal in the past too, to some extent. in that sense, the chains that tie Dazai down, if they’re Odasaku’s last words, are the Port Mafia for Mori. he cannot die as long as he’s sane and capable of leading the PM, because he’s basically the very embodiment of it.

⚠️SPOILERS FOR “DANCING GIRL!”⚠️

alright, onto “Dancing Girl.” i’ll give you a quick rundown. it’s basically about this college dude (25 or so) (haha that reminds me of the, “am i the asshole?” posts. i (M26) just fell in love with a girl (F18) of whom i’ve known since she was a minor and i was still an adult. i got her pregnant by some time after she became of-age, then i left her to pursue my career. am i the asshole?) (godamn it tai you just spoiled the whole novel) (i’ll put a spoiler warning up somewhere in the beginning) (bear with me) with depression who falls in love with a… looks at the parenthesis and sighs deeply.

he doesn’t see any point in anything because his life was just a glorified projection of his mother and school’s desires, so he starts being a little more hedonistic and learning about the arts instead of becoming a lawyer like they wanted him to. he meets Elise (her name) and basically immediately feels attracted to her in some way he can’t put into words (she’s 17ish when they meet btw) and starts teaching her things and basically acting like a sponsor to her. they don’t start getting romantic and/or sexual until some unsaid period of time passes. now i personally choose to interpret this as her turning 18 before they do all that stuff, but since it never explicitly says, well… yeah. Toyotarou is used to living his life in a cushy-ish manner as a child prodigy and what have you, but he eventually gives that away to live with Elise. that being said, his “giving it away” was less of a choice to be with her and more of a digression from a perfect machine into a person with his own stunted feelings.

she makes him satisfied, and he makes her very deeply happy, but eventually he chooses his career over her and she goes crazy because of how betrayed she feels- she really deeply loved him, after all. he pays her mother enough to keep her afloat and to take care of the baby he left in her stomach, and went back to Japan without another word. Toyotarou! you bastard!! (it’s not like he was without remorse, though)

anyway back to the numbers.

1) Mori’s past is pure speculation, but he was a military doctor ranked quite high as a very young man, one that didn’t hesitate to shoot someone on his own side no less (like i said) so it’s probably a given he didn’t have a stress-free childhood. this is an excerpt from “Dancing Girl,” in which i think explains the possibility that Elise represents the angry child inside of Mori that he never got to let out as a real child.

2) given what i said above, this also feels pretty self-explanatory. we basically only know two things about Mori, that he would do anything for the greater good (which is usually the PM/yokohama), and that he longs for a “partner” who will understand and not leave him. it’s possible Fukuzawa filled that role for a while, but Mori is a little unhinged and did some bad things out of obsession, which severed their ties because of Fukuzawa’s innate nature. Mori has called Elise his partner (tsuma, AKA person who stays by my side) (i know nobody says tsuma and means it that way but considering “Yatsugare san” exists (yes i’m looking straight at you, AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE), i wouldn’t put it past Asagiri to use tsuma in that manner) before and acts dramatic as all hell when she dies. it’s almost like … someone called Elise really DID die before?

3) this requires the least explanation. we already know Mori likes children in a non-pedo way, shown by things like how he helped Atsushi gather his courage in Anne’s room (which did nothing for him, btw) and his profession in the beast AU. but what sort of mafia don has a cute daughter?? that’s like ASKING for her to be killed. so Elise, the product of Vita Sexualis, is the next best thing he can have!

Elise also is a lot like the Toyotarou, while Mori acts more like Elise when they’re together. it’s just something i noticed watching the two interact in BSD and DG. the whole idea of having no autonomy is kinda Elise’s (BSD) thing, isn’t it?

my phone is now 20% and i have no charger. i have probably 69 viruses and also since i have apps like tiktok, wechat, and discord… you can imagine how much this poor device suffers, but i regret nothing. yahoo! hope you enjoyed my rant~

[contrastparadoxx]

Typical Girls Sleepover

Summary: Soliel and Daseos have a sleepover! Collab Drabble between myself and @byrdstrolls Art by Byrdstrolls Word Count: 2651

As soon as she saw the car pull up Soliel went flying down the steps, pulling her jacket fully on as she went. She skidded to a halt next to the already beginning to roll down the driver’s side window. The conversation inside did not halt, so the rust was able to catch the back end of it.

“-ake sure you have everyone’s phone numbers Daseos”

“I do! G-d!!! I lived on the streets for MONTHS, remember?” She insists.

“The streets are one thing, a fucking, highblood neighborhood is another-” Hanagi mutters, and then jumps several figurative feet in the air out of startlement as she notices she’s been cursing and talking about hemophobia in front of a child that’s not Daseos. “Hi Soliel” She says, leaning an elbow on the side of the car, so naturally. Nice save. 

Soliel chimed in, chirping in the manner often found with her “The closest neighbors are preeeetty far away no worries Doc” she beamed as the driver finally turned to look at her with a worried look etched into her face.

“Well thanks” The rustblood replies. “You seem particularly chipper”

“I get to spend the day with my best friend in all the universe! Of course I’m excited! Wanna see my horns I’ve been following your instructions to the letter I literally can not feel them right now totally numb” She tilted her head so the other could see the flat top of her horns, then reached up and tapped them “It’s weird actually knowing I should be able to feel them but can’t!” By this point, Daseos had gotten out of the car, holding her overnight bag carefully.

“Good, Das is gonna help you get the prosthetics on, not being able to feel your horns will make that easier. Be safe, both of you, and try to make sure you get SOME sleep.”

“You’re not my lusus!” Daseos insists, running over to hug her friend. 

“I’ll keep an eye on her doc” Soliel salutes over the hug to the adult. “I’ll make sure she sleeps” 

“You better” Hanagi mutters, sighing as she watches Daseos go, before finally driving off. Daseos turns to her, grinning. 

“I got everything we need” She says, pat patting her bag. 

Soliel grinned back “Great! I have things set up inside, we should wait till daybreak so everyone’s asleep, so uh… what do you want to do until then?” She started to lead her best friend into the massive mansion via a side door closer to her portion of it. “Maybe we can do my horn thing, and then hang out in the ball pit, uhm, if you want”

“YOU HAVE A BALL PIT‽” 

“Uhm, yeah! Erik got it for me after I lamented that they don’t make them big enough once you’re no longer a wriggler and also they’re disgusting and full of germs” she held the door open. “Once you help get my caps on I’ll show it to you! I also got us matching bathrobes and they’re made from this fabric that originates off-planet, the softest thing you’ve ever felt I promise.”

“Thanks” Daseos replies, feeling a persistent ever so slight guilt inside her, that of a girl not used to having rich friends and being given luxurious things.

The two fell into chatter that jumped topics several times, weaving through everything but aliens to empire politics though neither ever seemed lost by the flow. They headed into Soliel’s bathroom, where the rust settled down on the edge of her bathtub so Daseos could easily reach the top of her head.

“Hanagi says normally this would hurt a lot which I guess makes sense especially for you since your horns are weird-“ She starts. 

“Hey!” Soliel retorts. 

“It’s true! Weird is cool!! I wish MY horns could glow! Anyway hopefully they’re actually as numb as they seem you know because it would suck if you ended up in pain”

“Yeah true we have waaaaay too much going on later” Soliel giggled until a small bonk from Das reminded her to hold still. She went rigid, even her chest barely moving as she breathed in and out.

“Okay-” Daseos says, bracing herself. “This should be easy, but you might get a headache later as the extra weight settles in. Buuuuuuut” Das’ tongue stuck out a bit from the corner of her mouth as she messed with the horn caps “that should do it!” She grins holding up her friend's head to face the mirror. 

“Get the light!!” Soliel requests, kicking her feet in excitement. 

“RIGHT” Daseos says, flicking off the bathroom’s light switch, and then eyes widening in wonder as she looks at her friend’s prosthetics glowing faintly in the block. “Yooooooooo” The jadeblood whispers in an unexpected moment of barely contained excitement. 

Her friend sits up from the chair, laughing in child-like glee and spinning in circles, watching her horns in the mirror. 

“You’re gonna be the coolest medium in the world, you know that?” Daseos says. “She’s gonna come straight out of the afterlife and say those caps are SICK”

After twisting in the mirror a moment, the joy from seeing her horns complete for the first time since The Incident caused the rest of them begin to glow to match the caps. Soliel wiped the forming tears away, and turned to Daseos. “Okay I know I said we should wait until sunrise BUT no one bothers me over here and Erik’s probably busy anyway so what if we went and set up now.” She bounced on her toes a bit, then grabs her friend's arm and pulls her out the room and down the hall. “Come on, if it goes well we can put our robes on and watch a movie after!”

“What if it doesn’t go well?” Daseos jokes. “Can we still do that?” 

Her personal room had most things on the sides, with a lot of clear space in the middle other than a rug, which she pulled off to the side. “Of course we can but obviously how well it goes will dictate our movie choice, trust me I’m an expert” with the floor now clear, Soliel quickly got to work drawing on it.

“Right” Daseos says, nodding solemnly, she goes over and sets down her bag, pouring several items out of it. 

“Okay hand me everything you got to bring her here, based on what you’ve told me about her I uh-“ the rust took a moment to pull something out from behind a pillow on the nearby couch. It was a stuffed octopus “I finished fixing this guy up for her. Look! One of its tentacles even had to be patched with another color on the end because it was missing.” She gently set that in the circle.

“Yeah,” Daseos says. “She loved uh, sea animals” She says, honestly knowing close to nothing about Twitch. “And Ghost energy drinks” The jade says, referring to the brand and not the fact Twitch would be a ghost, setting a few inside the circle, “Mondes says her apartment was covered in them- and I got her five caegers” Daseos continues, dropping the bill in the circle, making a strange collection of sparse offerings. 

“She loved five caegers?” Soliel questions. 

“She was an evil fleet lady, of course she loved money!” Das insists. “And this stuff was all I could find in my hive” She adds, sheepishly. 

“That makes sense” Sol nods in agreement. “If it doesn’t work the first time we’ll go dig in the cushions of the BIG couch and see if we can find anything extra” as she settled comfortably. “Now, did you bring-“ a vague hand gesture to indicate what she meant was given.

“Th-thony” Daseos grins, setting down the money object in the center of the circle, the thing they were most sure Twitch had at least something of an emotional connection too. “I told Hanagi I needed him for a science project eheheh. She can’t say no to science.” 

That got a laugh. “Okay yeah that’s fair. Sorry Th-thony, I got some plant food for you as an apology for once this is over, that works for a plant right? Also that wasn’t a TOTAL lie this is kind of a science project, the project is uhm” she paused, trying to figure out how to word it.

“Necromancy” Daseos replies. “Ecology. Whatever” 

“Psychology maybe” she nods, then giggles 

“Definitely psychology!” Daseos laughs. “It’s Twitch.” 

“Alright, I’m ready when you are”

The jadeblood inhales, staring at the pile of assorted items. It was enough- it had to be. Strange that Twitch could have had such a lasting impact on every single one of them, yet when searching for material proof of who she was, what she even wanted, what she stood for- the tangible results are so depressingly meager. Newly determined to do her due diligence as a necromancer following Ailzea’s ask-first model, she looks her friend in the eye. 

“I’m ready,” She says. The tone of the night shifts ever so slightly, the girls taking on a somber air as the blinds moved just a bit in the wind. 

Soliel nodded in solemn understanding, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath, putting her hands flat on the ground in front of her. Breath in, breath out, the room seems to fall colder. In, out, the very shadows start to shift and twist around her. In, out, the glow from her horns fades, but then she opens her eyes and the glow from them more than makes up for it. The uncovered one glows red, and purple light seeps out from under the eyepatch over the other. 

A thin pink line dances above Th-thony’s steam like a seam, slipping in and out of existence like a trail of smoke. Daseos watches it with wary trepidation and anticipation, glancing back and forth from Soliel to the plant. 

When the rust speaks, there’s an almost musical quality to it. “We want to speak to you, so please come forth.”

The pine line sparks suddenly, as if lashing out in a burst of emotion. And suddenly, the specter is there, flicking in the moonlight, seeming more star than girl in many ways, her tangible form volatile, but her mouth seems to find the grace to form words, the first thing to fall from her mouth is predictably bitter

“Ha Ha” The ghost of Twitch Monark says, staring down Daseos as if Soliel were not even there. “Why would you wanna talk to me?” She says. 

This seems to stump Daseos temporarily. She seems caught up in seeing the woman face to face for the first time since she had arrested Mondes outside that motel, trenches of old hurt she thought were long buried digging their way to the surface. 

“Because” she stumbles. “Can we bring you back to life?” 

“What?” She replies. 

“What?” Daseos says. 

“We want to bring you back to life!” Soliel says. “Is that okay?” 

“Okay?” Twitch says, looking through the pile of offerings. “First of all- not a thing you can do. Death is famously permanent” she mansplains. “Second, why would you do that?” 

“Me and my family have discussed it,” Daseos says solemnly. “And we want to give you another chance.” 

“Well now I KNOW you’re lying” Twitch replies. 

“I’m not!” Daseos insists. 

“The Cheongs aren’t idiots,” she says. 

“Yes they are!” The kid retorts. “I mean! No they’re not!” She corrects, tripping over her words. 

Soliel had to choke back laughter at that, clearing her throat instead.

“Exactly. So even if necromancy was real- big IF- they wouldn’t use it on me.” She says. 

“M’am I am literally sitting here glowing and talking to you after dragging you as a ghost to here. Can you not act like necromancy is nothing because like- it’s happening, right now.” Soliel argues.

“Oh I’m ALIVE right now?” Twitch retorts. Poking a hand through her body, turning into a burst of light and back again. “This is how my alive body works?” 

“Necromancy has different levels OBVIOUSLY jeez I thought you were supposed to be the fancy smart one.” The six sweep old roasts. 

“I shoulda brought Marsie” Daseos muses. 

“You what?” Twitch stutters. 

“I brought Marsie back to like” She subtlety brags. “I coulda brought him here to show you.” 

“Your story grows more ludicrous by the second” Twitch hisses. 

“Have you seen him around the afterlife?” The teenager says. 

The ghost stares at her, beaten. “Well- no” She says. “Could be unrelated” She mumbles. “Maybe he’s avoiding me. Besides! That’s obviously what you’d say if you were attempting to endear yourself to me” She accuses. 

Daseos takes a moment to grab her phone, looking through her photos for an age. Before flipping it over and showing a photo of her and Marsie taken a couple weeks ago. 

The seadweller stares at it. Dumbfounded. She inhales. 

“Could be doctored,” She says. 

“Are you kidding me?” Daseos hisses. 

“None of this makes sense” The violetblood complains, “And nobody wants me back alive! She says, throwing up her hands and storming off. 

Soliel clears her throat, and simply summons her again, the ghost appearing again in the circle. She glares at them. 

“Why wouldn’t they want you back alive?” Soliel asks. 

“A hundred billion reasons.” She replies. 

“Hanagi misses you,” Daseos says quietly. 

The woman inhales, pained. “Hanagi maybe. Maybe once in a blue moon Hanagi misses me but the rest of them? You can’t expect me to believe that.” 

“Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, people would be willing to believe you are able to change? That Hanagi’s opinions may have affected others?” She speaks softly now, the rust does, unsure if it’s really her place to speak.

“Sure. Hanagi just walked up to the rest of them and said let's resurrect Monark and they were like "you know what, sure”” She rambles, sarcastically. “They totally just forgot about all the attempted murder I did. They just listen to whatever Hanagi says.” 

“You’re such a child” Daseos says, in a disquieted awe of the woman’s immaturity, which even she, the six sweep old, can parse. “Let’s say they did-” 

“They didn’t” She retorts. 

“Let’s say they did,” Daseos insists. “Wouldn’t you want to do right by them?” She says. “If Hanagi fought them on it- on your behalf” 

The ghost pauses, flickering again as she is overcome with emotion. 

“Necromancy isn’t real,” She says. 

“Uuuuuugh do you want me to send a taxi for Marsie?” Soliel says, exasperated. 

“Will you ANSWER THE QUESTION” Daseos says, fed up. “If none of this is real- it doesn’t matter. But if it WERE. play pretend. Do you want to live?” 

The ghost flickers so much she nearly vanishes into that unknowable either. Lost and faint as she was when she was alive. This hollowed out trace of a person. Her form falls apart, until it's not even clear it’s a troll anymore. Just shapes and colors, pinks and purples, the nebula thrashes, caught in some silent violence. The air rustles through Th-thony’s leaves. 

“Okay, I’ll play pretend” Monark says, voice quiet and wavering with no discernible source. 

“I want to live,” She says. And Daseos shoulders ease. Her eyes close, in a silent, raw relief. 

“Okay” She says. “Thank you” she says, not knowing what she was saying it for. “I’ll see you soon” The child promises. 

A pink hand snakes out of the void, grabbing the five dollar bill from the tiny altar. 

“I’m keeping this” She says, dragging it to whatever ghost realm, and then she’s gone. 

Soliel waits until she is fully sure the spirit is gone before cutting the connection off, the glow within the room fading and the shadows settling unnoticed back to their usual positions. “Well. I think that went well.”

“Yeah” Daseos says, dazed. “I guess that could have gone worse”

[soll-amca]

Do you have any Alessi headcanons for someone desperate ?🫣 Too shy to come off anon to ask ..

uHHHHHHHH MAYHAps :) Thank you for the ask! I’ve been dying to write for awhile :) !

I legit don’t know what I have and haven’t posted yet since I haven’t been on tumblr for a hot minute but uhhh uhhhhhhhh. There’s lore-dumps near the top, but it gets better near the end I promise

Obligatory song for my headcanon posts. There’s no specific reason for this song, it’s just a banger, and I’m also trying to be very normal about Walid Toufic and not put his music for every single Alessi post

Alessi’s of Lebanese-Armenian descent, but extremely estranged from his Armenian roots due to internal family issues — mostly his father facing scorn from his intolerant side of the family for marrying an Armenian woman. Despite this, Alessi was very close with his mother and, even as a grown man, regrets not learning more from her. Of course, he’s never going to admit this, no matter how obvious it may be that he tries to pick up parts of the Armenian language and culture 

Alessi was born in Beirut, Lebanon in 1951, but was eventually forced out due to a civil war in 1975. Though, what gave him the final push to leave was a falling out with his siblings. With both their parents gone, his sister going off to a loveless marriage, and his brother wanting to join the war effort, Alessi loses control of Sethan during a confrontation and turns them into children. This ends up as a strange, happy accident as he would try keeping up the charade for a few days, exploiting their memory being reverted to fake a “happy family” in an effort to keep the last remnants of his old life from slipping away 

Things end horribly for Alessi as his siblings eventually find out and oust him from the home they all grew up in. With nothing left for him, he leaves and dedicates himself to mercenary work throughout the Middle East and Northern Africa to keep himself afloat

With fourteen years under his belt by SDC, Alessi’s considered one of the best in the region. And since he’s well-traveled, he’s proficient in a majority of the Arabic dialects, so nine times out of ten, nothing got past him in Dio’s mansion regardless of where the other assassins were from

The joke is that most Arabs don’t understand North Africans, but everyone can understand Egyptians, so whenever Alessi wants to phase out of a conversation, he’ll slowly change to to a dialect that’s “further out” and difficult to understand despite Levantine being his first

Since French is a secondary language in Lebanon, much more prevalent during Alessi’s time in schooling, and especially North Africa for mercenary work. He knows enough to get around like the basics, but can’t read or write for shit. His little brother was easily more fluent than him, so he has a weird sort of resentment yet fondness for the language. Whatever French he knew definitely came back when he was chasing around Polnareff in the Sethan arc

Very, very curly hair, but he doesn’t take care of it. Back as a kid, when he had his mom, she would help him and he was basically a puff-ball, but as an adult, he doesn’t have the slightest clue on how to style it while also maintaining his hair. If you catch him when he just wakes up, or immediately after a shower, it’s seemingly perfect but then he’ll proceed to douse himself in a can of hairspray 

The gun he uses in SDC isn’t his, it’s his late brother’s. But going into that right now on why and how he even got it should be it’s entirely own post so —

Any endearment at all related to babe/baby will have him throwing up in his mouth. It’s one thing to mention a child, it’s another to somehow relate it back to HIM. Honestly, Alessi doesn’t read as a “habibi” person to me, he’s too bitter to be a “habibi” person. Albi and eini come much more easily to him as petnames to call someone

He’s a sucker for trashy American television. He used to think he was above it, but now if you leave him alone for long enough, he’ll put on TLC and binge whatever’s on. Although back home, he had a thing for spaghetti westerns even if they were horribly dubbed in Arabic

Adding to the Western trend, he was super into Lucky Luke comics as a kid. Since they were really popular in the Middle East, and the translated ones were produced in Egypt. It’s definitely not a stretch that during the 80s and SDC, his grown, mercenary ass sat down to watch cartoons of his favorite cowboy. Would Alessi hog the mansion’s TV to watch Lucky Luke? Perchance. Would he stay cooped up in his Luxor hotel room to watch it? Also perchance

Tintin was popular, too, but I think I need an outside opinion on that. If a Tintin person could come back to me about this please help

Hol Horse fascinates him. Not in an admiration sort of way, but a “holyshit a real cowboy” sort of way. To Alessi, it’s like Hol crawled out of his family television and old comic books

I don’t know who it was, but I want to say back in like,, 2016ish one of the original Dio’s Fuckhouse blogs had a headcanon that Hol was actually from New England or something, but basically nowhere near “the Wild West” or even the South. So the image of Alessi being interested and asking him stuff while Hol Horse is just,, sweating bullets because he’s not a “real cowboy” is hilarious to me

Because of what happened with his sister, Alessi’s very standoffish when it comes to love. He’ll take any chance he can get to mock touchy couples and heckle anyone that he thinks is getting “too intimate” in public, but I think we all know he’s compensating for something

But the moment someone touches him or is very direct about making a move, he flusters and doesn’t know what to do with himself. Cheesy pick-up lines will only embarrass him and he can’t tell whether or not you’re making fun of him

Having gone through wide extremities of emotions when he was younger, and then having to suppress them all as a mercenary, Alessi wouldn’t understand sensitivities. Especially since he’d have to adopt a pragmaticism in his line of work to keep himself alive — and arguably sane. He’d get confused over someone being upset over an inconvenience that isn’t “up to par” to what he went through, but at the same time fly off the handle at small things happening to him since he bottles up all his emotions

If someone cries around him, he falls into the routine of having this initial frustration, stuffing it down to not make things worse, and eventually follow through with a weird shoulder pat — sorta like “there, there”. After that, he’s clueless

[fangirleaconmigo]

I LOVE Uncle Lambert & Ciri gen fics, and think far, far, too much about the trials, so when this prompt went up on twitter almost three months ago on @ / witcherprompts:

Summary: Book or game canon: Ciri asks Lambert why the laboratory doors are locked and if that’s why she can’t be a full witcher

I've been thinking about it ever since. And so I have finally written my 'Uncle Lambert and Ciri talk about the trials' fic.

It's on ao3 and I've put it below.

------

Ciri was hurt. Geralt rarely spoke to her that way. Angry. Gruff. 

“I know you aren’t telling me the truth. Why can’t you just tell me?!” She shoved her choppy fringe out of her face. It wasn’t quite long enough to tuck neatly behind her ear, so it flopped back into her eyes. “Being a witcher isn’t just the pendulum. I know that, I’m not stupid.”

Geralt drew in a breath and let it out with a slow hiss. When he spoke again, he gritted each word out through his teeth. “I’ve told you the basement laboratories are off limits. I’ve told you a hundred times. And yet?” He stood slowly from the table, where his lunch sat uneaten. He held up a butter knife. The evidence of her bad behavior glinted at her obnoxiously. “I find you trying to jimmy a lock?”

“But--”

“Go to your room, Cirilla,” he barked. “I won’t ask again. And if I find you down in the basement one more time, you’ll be locked in your room til spring.”

Ciri was not ready to concede. Eskel, Coën and Lambert sat at a nearby table. She accosted Cöen with wide, pleading green eyes. He was the soft touch.

“Coën.”

But he only smiled gently. “I’ll come up and play with you later, Ciri. Do as you're told.”

She tried Eskel next. He always followed Geralt’s lead but it was worth a try. “Eskel.” He just rubbed his scars and kept his eyes carefully trained on Geralt. That was a dead end. 

Things were getting exceedingly dire. She turned to Lambert.

“You heard him, princess,” Lambert growled, his tone brooking no argument.

She set her lips in a hard line. “If you were me, Lambert, you wouldn’t like it either. You would want to be told the truth. You wouldn’t want to be lied to and treated like an idiot.”

She expected Lambert to shout at her too. But he looked stunned. She knew she had gone too far. She stormed out fast, before Geralt could reproach her.  

Ciri lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling all afternoon. She alternated between feeling guilty and feeling righteous. She planned her apology to Geralt. Then she marshaled her best arguments hoping to demand an apology from him. But the longer Geralt took to visit her, the more her resolve began to crumble. 

Coën came up for a bit, but he refused to talk about Geralt. He played jacks with her and brought her bread and cheese before he went back to his evening chores. 

The night wore on and she knew they would have eaten dinner, and they would be breaking out the white gull now. Ciri loved sneaking down to the hall during the late evening, when they sat around the fire, deep in their cups. Their eyes shone and they smiled easily. They patted each other on the shoulders and told stories. They held adult conversations that she would not normally be allowed to hear. 

She wanted to sneak down there now. But she didn’t want Geralt to shout at her again. She always felt so brave in his presence. But as soon as she was alone, the fear caved in on her. But now he was angry with her. Perhaps more than she understood.

Just as the tears began to well up in her eyes, footfalls sounded in the hall. She drew in a soft sharp breath. Then, feeling overwhelmed with happiness, relief, anxiety, and guilt all at once, she squeezed her eyes closed. She would pretend to be asleep.

The door creaked open, and the footfalls neared her bed. Then there was the sound of someone plopping into the chair next to her bed and sighing. It was not Geralt.

“You aren’t fooling anyone, princess. If you’re asleep, then I’m a unicorn.”

Her eyes jerked open. “Lambert.”

It was dim in the room, but she saw him staring back at her without saying a word. She slowly pulled herself up to a sitting position. 

“Um. I’m sorry I said that to you. I didn’t mean it.”

“Yeah you did.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek. “Yes. I did. And I still do.”

He settled deeper into the chair with a tired sigh. She waited long moments for him to speak again.

“You were right. I wouldn’t like it either. When I was your age...well...I woulda done a whole lot worse than stamp out of a room when I was hot under the collar. But if you expect him to change his mind, you’re wrong. He isn’t going to talk to you about it.”

“Why not? 

He leaned forward and rubbed his face. The candle by her bed had burned down, and the little light there was, played across his eyes. They looked like they glowed in the half light.

“That’s how he is.”

“But I’m not stupid.” Her fire was back. “I know something else happened to make you all witchers. The way Triss got angry about the herbs you gave me? And then the laboratory being off limits? And he won’t explain it to me. All he does is shout!”

Lambert looked at her carefully. He was quiet for a long moment and his glazed eyes were seeing things Ciri could only guess at. Finally he spoke, in a careful voice, softer than she had ever heard him speak. “Cut him some slack, Ciri. He never had anyone to show him how to be a father. We’re all...we’re all proud of how well he’s doing. But he isn’t perfect. No one is. But that’s why we’re here to help him. Right? Can you do that?”

Ciri huffed, feeling rather petulant. Why did they all think of Geralt, and not her? “But what about me? Why won’t he let me in? Is it because I’m a girl? Because that doesn’t matter. I’m doing so well in training, even you say so. Aren’t I good enough?”

“Oh, princess.” He sounded tired. She was not dissuaded.

“I want eyes like yours, Lambert. I want to be like you. And Geralt. And Eskel, and Vesemir, and Coën. I want to do whatever you all did. Then Geralt will think I am a real witcher.”

“Look at me, Ciri.”

She looked at him, the expression of accusation unmoving on her features. She crossed her arms.

“This,” he pointed at his eyes, “isn’t an award. It’s torture. We would never. And I mean never do such a thing to you, Cirilla. Do you understand? Do you understand that? We would never let anyone harm you, ever.”

They thought she was a baby. “I don’t care. I could do it. I want to do it.”

“Do you want to know a secret, Ciri? One that no one wants to speak inside these walls?”

Ciri fell silent. A secret was a true honor. “What?”

Lambert leaned forward, meeting her eyes intensely, almost defiantly. “The trials aren’t necessary to make a witcher.”

Ciri scoffed. “Yes they are!”

Lambert did not waver. His voice was firm, and laced with anger, though she knew the anger was not directed at her. “No, princess. They aren’t. They are just needless torture. A waste. They are more painful than you can imagine, and they kill most of the boys they perform them on. Just babies Ciri. Dead. And it’s for nothing.”

“No.” She could not believe it. “No one would do that. Not if it was for nothing.”

“Yes. They would.”

“But why?”

“Because mages don’t give a fuck about foundlings with no one to look after them. And so instead of going through the time and expense of finding a better test to identify those with abilities, they killed most of us. Just to find out fast and cheap.”

Ciri’s breath blew out, stunned by the casual cruelty. The murder of so many children. Suddenly, she could see Geralt as a boy. Lambert. Cöen. Eskel. Terrified like her. But instead of being protected, being harmed and mistreated.

She hadn’t really thought of them as people who were kids once, just as grown ups who took care of her. She pulled the covers up around her neck, stunned by her realization. Her world felt turned upside down for the millionth time in her short life.

“Then what makes a witcher?” Her voice was tiny. Lambert’s face changed. It was like a curtain opening. He looked at her as though she were precious. 

“We do, Ciri. We do. When we go out there and do our jobs. When we do our jobs and aren’t paid. When we do our jobs and are paid. When people thank us. When they don’t thank us. When they hate us. When they love us. When we have nowhere else to go but here. When no one else will take us in but us. We are Witchers, Ciri, because we say so. And you are one of us. You are Kaer Morhen’s very first witcher girl.”

Ciri’s hand darted out and she wrapped her smaller fingers around Lambert’s larger, rougher one. She didn’t know what to say. Her chest ached. But it was a good ache. It was the first time she felt like she had a home since she watched her grandma’s body sail down from the parapet.

Lambert cleared his throat. “I’m hard on you, girl. I know it. And I’ll keep being hard on you. That’s because I want you to be safe, and because I know you can do it. If I really thought you were too soft and spoiled to learn our trade, I wouldn’t bother with you. Or I’d give you a stick and let you swing it around like a lunatic and just say, oh good job, Princess, bang up job.”

Ciri giggled.

Lambert squeezed her hand, and pressed a quick kiss to it. Then he stood up with a groan. “Fuck. Gettin old. Alright.” He leaned down and mussed her hair. “Cut your old man some slack, girl. Aren’t queens supposed to show their peasants mercy?”

Ciri giggled again. “I will try.”

“Good.” He started towards the door, then he turned as though he had forgotten something. Ciri’s eyes had adjusted now, so she could see his shadowy form and make out his features. “Ciri. I’ll tell you another secret.”

“What? What is it?”

Lambert looked around the room, then at her, as though he was deciding whether to tell her. His face looked flushed from white gull, but it formed into resolve. “I wanna open them,” he said, “the way you. I wanna open the doors to the lab.”

“You do?”

“I do. Only unlike you, I want to burn them, and everything in them to cinders.”

Ciri pushed herself up on her elbows and stared. Lambert always did exactly what he wanted. The thought that he was denying himself something confused her. “Then why don’t you?”

Lambert rubbed his whiskers, in a gesture that looked a lot like Eskel. “Because,” he sighed, “he needs them to be closed, and so I leave them closed because that is what love is. So no matter what I think, if you get those doors open against his will, I’ll tan your hide myself. I won’t wait for his permission to discipline you. I hope you know I’m not blowing hot air. I’ll do it.”

Ciri nodded silently, chastened by his honesty.

He shut the door behind him and Ciri listened to his footsteps fade.

She was almost asleep when she heard footsteps again. The door creaked open, and Geralt stood over her with a small plate and a mug.

He didn’t say a word when she sat up and gobbled down the treats. He just waited patiently then smiled and wiped the jam off her nose.

He didn’t say anything about what had happened, and neither did she. He just climbed into bed with her and opened his arms. She leaned her head on his broad shoulders.

“Tell me a story, Geralt. Tell me the one you told me the day we met in Brokilon.”

Geralt smiled at some far off memory. “The one you listened to so well? I was so proud of you when you scurried up that tree like a little creature.”

She smiled so big, her cheeks were sore. “Yes. That one. The cat and the fox.”

He gathered her into his arms and squeezed. “Alright. At your command, little witcher girl.”

[theconfusedwriter]

Hello!

My name is Ian and I’m a writer so I figured it was about time I joined the writeblr community.

A little about me…

I’m 24 and use he/they pronouns.

I have a degree in Music Industry that I am currently not using. I also have a certificate in Writing and Publishing which I am sort of using.

I’ve been writing stories for as long as I can remember, but only started pursuing it as a career about three years ago. Since then I have self-published two books that I am very proud of.

In addition to writing I have interests in music, film & television, and linguistics. I also love to read so this will probably be a little bit of a bookblr too.

A little about my books…

As I said, I have two books currently available in paperback and ebook. They’re called It Could Always Be Worse and Will It Ever Get Better? They are both part of a series called the Woodview Stories, which I plan to continue. I’m currently working on the next book.

It Could Always Be Worse

After a traumatic experience in her hometown of Miami, Elena Flores moves away to live with the father she’s never met. It’s not easy starting a new school in the middle of October, so when her half sister invites her to a party, she thinks “what’s the worst that could happen?” Elena must learn to navigate her new life in the wealthy suburbs of Long Island and try to build relationships, but that’s hard to do when she doesn’t know who to trust and she can’t let go of her anger and sadness.

Order here.

Will It Ever Get Better?

Jo Reilly has dealt with a lot of big changes lately. She’s sharing a room with a surprise half-sister, her parents are always fighting, her best friends aren’t speaking to her, and she’s falling for someone totally unexpected. All she wants is to be normal, but what does that even mean? Jo must learn to shed her insecurities, resentments, and preconceived notions, in order to be true to herself and find the people who really care about her.

Order here.

Woodview Stories

Woodview Stories is a Young Adult contemporary fiction book series. It tells the coming of age tales of a diverse group of teens living in the affluent Long Island neighborhood of Woodview. The overarching story progresses through the books chronologically with each installment switching narrator to focus on a different person's point of view. It all begins with Elena, whose sudden move to Woodview from Miami sets off a chain of events that affects the lives of everyone around her.

A little about my other writing…

The majority of what I write in YA, like the books I have already written. I also tend to stick to contemporary, but sometimes drift to other genres.

I also dabble in screenwriting. I’m currently working on a teleplay as a side project. I’ll probably post a lot about that in addition to my main project.

Anyway…

I don’t know if I’ve put the right stuff in the intro post, but here it is anyway.

That’s all for now. Bye!

Also, my main blog is @nothing-mancer so that’s where I’ll follow from :)

[running2reanimation]

Interview

Knowledge is power.

Aqua leaned against the counter, bored out of her mind. Never a good sign when, three hours into an 8 hour shift, one has nothing left to do.

Other than wait on the late night customers, of which there was… one.

That Purple guy who’s been coming in with Mr. King. The one who would be about Gold’s age if Gold hadn’t…

When had he come in? And it was interesting that he was alone for once. That was a first.

He approached the counter with a bag of chips and a bottle of one of those fancy lemonades.

“Good evening, thank you for shopping at Wants, did you find everything you were looking for tonight?” She put on her customer service voice and bright smile.

“Not quite.”

Oh please, oh please don’t hit on me…

“I wanted to know a little bit more about King, if you had the time.”

She narrowed her eyes, “What did you want to know?”

“Just… stuff, I guess. He doesn’t talk much about himself, or his life before he met me and I guess I’m just curious as to why.”

“And why are you asking me?”

“You are literally the only other person he really mentions or talks about from before. Does he not have other friends?”

“I mean, he might’ve had some work friends, but Mr. King’s always been a loner.”

“So is King his last name then?”

“He doesn’t have a last name, I don’t think. Gold didn’t have one so I assume Mr. King probably doesn’t either.”

“So what’s with the formality?” He opened up his chips as he leaned against the opposite side of the counter.

“I’ve known him since I was in diapers, but I guess it started when I went to grade school and I thought Mr, Ms and Mx were how all kids referred to adults that weren’t their parents, I guess it just stuck,” She sighed as she realized he’d gotten her talking against her better judgement.

“Was there ever any Ms, Mx or Mr King the second?”

“Haha, he’s been single for as long as I’ve known him.”

“So then where did Gold come from?”

“He had a partner before I was born, apparently she died giving birth to him. I’m not surprised he wouldn’t really mention that, technically I only know it because my mom told me.”

“…” Purple’s expression went dark for a moment before he opened up his lemonade, “You were one of Gold’s friends, right? What was he like?”

“I was his best friend. He was… funny and charming, everyone at school loved him. He was always helping people and was always willing to go the extra mile for someone. But he was also very… reckless and impulsive. I had to talk him out of a lot of dangerous things growing up.”

“When’s his birthday?”

“King’s or Gold’s?”

“Both, I guess.”

“Uh, Mr. King’s birthday is April 3rd, and Gold’s was… December 3rd.”

“Huh, both on the third of the month, what a coincidence.”

“Yeah, I probably wouldn’t have remembered Mr. King’s if it weren’t for that. I don’t think he ever really celebrated it.”

“…And the anniversary of Gold’s accident?”

“Oh, that’s coming right up, on the 21st.”

“Ah, that explains that then,” Purple said cryptically, crumpling up the empty chip bag and straightening up to go.

“Wait! It’s my turn to ask you a few questions.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to that,” Purple shrugged, draining the last of his lemonade and tossing the bottle in the bin.

“…How did you meet Mr. King?”

Purple looked at her thoughtfully as he held the door open, debating what to say, if he should even say anything at all. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and he couldn’t quite read her expression beyond that.

“Not to go into too much detail, we met when we were both in some really bad places in our lives. And we both helped pull each other out of it. Now we’re just trying to figure out our new normal, y’know?”

Aqua nodded, “I guess I get it. I was just worried you were… using him, I guess.”

Purple couldn’t help but chuckle at that. It had really been the other way around, but he wasn’t gonna tell her that, “If I was using him, I sure wouldn’t have admitted it just because you asked. It’s nice that you’re worried about him though.”

“Just… be good to him. I’m sure he’s done some awful things while he was grieving, but he’s a decent man.”

“I know. Thanks for the answers, Aqua. See you later,” He stepped out the door and into the night, leaving Aqua tangled in her memories for the night.

[twilightmalachite]

2×2 - Children on the Streets 7

Author: Akira

Characters: Hinata

Translator: Mika Enstars

"But y’know, I actually really like that about you, Anzu-san. I don’t know, it just feels like we’re similar."

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Spring

Location: Shack

Hinata: These days, I don’t know. Of course, strangely I and only I have become popular thanks to things like Volcano Island and all that, and I feel my fans have definitely increased, but…

I don’t know why, but I’m getting lonelier and lonelier despite all that.

Is there something wrong with me?

You might get angry hearing me say this, but… I wish I wasn’t a popular, fan-favorite idol.

Yuuta-kun is filled with ambition, but I’m actually already satisfied.

I don’t need to succeed, just seeing Yuuta-kun be genuinely happy is enough.

Just having Yuuta-kun with me is enough.

Just having him smiling by my side is enough.

That’s all I really need to be satisfied.

Since the moment we ran away from home with his hand in mine, that’s all I’ve ever, ever wanted.

My time, my skills I trained, everything I had… I would have given all of it up for that.

Because, my mother asked me to take care of Yuuta-kun.

“Hinata, you’re the older brother, so make sure to protect and love Yuuta.”

I don’t remember much about my mother anymore. That’s all I have left of her, those words and her smile.

I wanted to light up the world he lived in like the rising sun.

Even though it would have been better if there wasn’t a place for me there.

Hinata: …Right. Sorry. I’m saying strange things. I’ve been so busy with work that I haven’t had any time to stock up on fun things to talk about.

Hm? You want to keep listening?

Do you want to know about me, Anzu-san?

Why is that? Is it because you like me?

No, it’s not. I get it. You want to know about me so you can help me grow into a great idol, as a producer.

I’m just annoyed because that self-interest is coated and sugared with something like sweet affection…

But y’know, I actually really like that about you, Anzu-san.

I don’t know, it just feels like we’re similar.

You’re a liar and a coward. You put on a loving, protecting facade and try to control the person in front of her with words that are pleasing to the ear.

But. so does everyone else, right? I mean, the tongue is an organ made for lying.

And I’m a hundred times happier that you did that rather than ignore me, like my father did when he was no good for a while, Anzu-san.

What was I talking about? Right, right, about how to get out of this situation.

Actually, I do have some thoughts regarding that.

Yup. Among the people who kidnapped us, there were a couple who looked familiar to me.

We lived on the streets when we were kids.

Things were really hard up until Master picked us up. I did whatever I could to keep my little brother and I alive.

Of course, I was still just a small child, I couldn’t do anything huge.

Adults, those who live a proper and normal life, didn’t even notice it, but…

In a dark corner of every town, there are tons of people who have no place to stay in those sorts of “decent environments”.

And among them were people who taught me who taught me how to survive in “those sorts of places”.

At the time, we were like stray cats who had run away after being abandoned by their owner.

And stray cats like that, they’ll huddle up and share information about the best places to scavenge for garbage to eat and all that—

Surviving by supporting one another. If we didn’t, we’d all just have died, that’s just how it is.

Hinata: But… We were protected by a kind person, our Master.

There are people who don’t have that. Those who kidnapped us last night, that’s where they ended up.

They still live in the darkness, unrecognized by ordinary people.

No, rather… They’ve lived here for a long time now, just invisible to me.

Those culprits responsible for this incident would have been us, if we had never gotten protection from Master.

If we had remained in misfortune.

We ordinary people lump them all together as delinquents and the such, calling them social outcasts, pinching our noses and pretending we don’t see them.

But, they, who thought we, who should’ve been peers in the same position as us since we were kids, stepped out of the dark and said something to me.

“We’re here, you know.”

“Maybe we’ve become invisible to you…”

“And it seems like you’ve completely forgotten about us, but…”

“You’re one of us, in the end.”

“And if you’ve forgotten, we’ll remind you.”

“I’m going to drag you back into that same darkness as back then.”

“That way… You’ll see us too, won’t you?”

[ ☆ ]

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