#all those times i said to myself i was content thats not the same as being happy

[heartbreakempress]

Fairiest of All

(This is my first time writing, so excuse my grammatical errors or spellings, BTW the appearance of the character is OC Please enjoy>\\\<)

Warning: Violence, mentions of abuse, pregnancy, Smut, Rape, kidnapping, angst, cursing, maybe happy ending in last part.

Maybe being born beautiful is not always a blessing, having a face that rivals goddesses can endanger your whole existence, having suitors surround you barely letting you explore the world that awaits, and a family that keeps you hidden from prying eyes of others, suffocates you until you can barely breath.

Golden locks that shines like the brightest sun, lips like the red-red rose, nose sculpted to perfection, eyes twinkle like the bluest star, skin white as the whitest snow and body like an hour glass. Her name is y/n, a princess, the epitome of beauty in their land, now weeping in her bedroom after her father the king announces that he arranged a wedding for her with a fine young prince who can give all the love she deserves. She packed all the things she needed and after 2 days will travel to the land of his husband to-be.

Arriving she was welcomed with warmth from everyone and also from prince y/n was to be married, handsome young man and to her perspective a kind one to her perspective, maybe this won't be bad, she thinks. After 5 days building a friendship with the prince sure is good but at the same day finding out that he already had 3 women in waiting to be his concubine after the wedding, broke your heart to pieces. So, here you are walking along the shore rethinking your life decisions, maybe planning some rebellion to take the throne or something. "huh fuck life and that prince, the ocean looks ethereal maybe a bath won't hurt?". The princess is just wearing a long white robe with a feather pattern. Slowly she took a step towards the water feeling the cool sensation, she walked farther until she's plunged underwater diving to her hearts content, not knowing the God of the Seas watching her every move.

The gods of seas pov:

Looking around the shore as part of taking care of the ocean Is a must, to make sure those pest humans don't do anything to harm my kingdom, after a while of patrolling I saw a human girl, staring to the see mumbling something, humans sure are crazy. I see that she's walking towards the see, is she going to contaminate my ocean? Walking forward I'm stunned, taking in her breathtaking features that even supprases Aphrodite, I just stare at the human girl until she's plunged in the water, after a while she starts to emerged from the water, staring intently in her figure her blond locks is like dripping with diamonds, her breast perk completely seen and skin glistening under that robe. I was about to approach her when someone came shouting, '' Princess your bride lesson is about to start where are you? '', what bride lesson she's about to get married? I should not concern myself with this humanly matter, after that I left going back to the castle.

Thinking that serene encounter with that human princess I can sleep for 3 nights, that scene keeps repeating in my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about that girl im growing crazy, I'm perfect in every way, it's that girls fault I'm being like this, but hahaha I'm lonely for centuries now, maybe a little wife who can carry my children doesn't sound so bad, and who would dare to disobey me. TONIGHT I MUST HAVE YOU.

Sleeping in the guest bedroom I feel uncomfortable for some reason, I feel someone watching me and also it's extra chilly tonight or is it the ocean breeze? (btw the castle is close to the ocean so hahaha), I decided to go back to sleep thinking it's just the wind until a looming figure appears, I was about to get up and turn around when the voice spoke and said '' My Sweet Y/N let's go to your new home'', thats the last thing I remember after that horrible night.

The said princess wakes up frightened knowing she's no longer in her room only to find her self in a luxurious room with white and blue walls and a ocean like ceiling, her clothes has been changed to a pink transparent robe with nothing underneath, showing everything to offer, y/n gets up to look in the window thinking maybe she could escape, but looking she's surrounded by waters a literal ocean water. Rocking her brains out, how the hell is she under water? Who kidnapped her, is the kingdom she left looking for? She's in the state of panic thinking a way to escape, when the door opened living the panicking princess stiff and frightened. '' You're Awake'', looking at her captor she's blown away by the perfect being in front of her with a trident in hand and a perfect toned body , shaking the idea she gathered all her courage and ask' ʼ'who are you, why did you abduct me?

The man stares at her with emotionless face and said '' Poseidon, God if Seas'' her whole world crumble knowing she can' t runaway from this one. The said God stared at her intently seeing the see through robe that he provided, he starts approaching her and uttered one word that leaves the girl shaking in fear, '' strip''. Knowing where this thing is headed the girl pleaded ' 'please no! Anything but that!' 'y/n started crying not knowing what to do. Poseidon puts his trident aside and hurriedly tossed the girl in bed,' '' I'm lonely for so long, I need a perfect being like you to relieve this urge, have my hot cum inside you until it become bloated because of too much hot spurt and for you to carry my child, I also need a wife and it happens that you appeared, now stay still we will make love to each other. The girl thrashed around trying to escape, only for the God of seas to slap her, '' stay still or you will suffer consequences, do you understand? Poseidon says clearly pissed because of the disobedience shown by his so called wife.

He started kissing her neck going up to meet her soft plump lips, savoring the strawberry tastes, snaking his long tongue clashing with hers, the girl stiffens when she feels his hand cupping her breast roughly. Poseidon suddenly sits taking in the beautiful girl underneath him, he tears the transparent robe and proceeds to position his head inside the princess thighs, '' hmmm vanilla''he said taking in the smell of arousal before diving in and eating out the girl hungrily like having the last meal of his life time, flicking, sucking and biting on the: inside thighs leaving the girl moaning, squirming, shaking taking in her first ever orgasm.

'' Aahh ah Please enough I can take it anymore'' she said panting hard,' '' You have to take four of my fingers if you want to take my cock'' the God said showing his fingers,' '' aagh ha ha please stop'' the girl cried when she feels one finger enters her spongey muscle. Poseidon adds two more finger while sucking on her pink buds. You feel like the world is spinning each time the God of seas drills his finger forward, hitting all the right spot making your body shiver, adding another finger you feel full. After a minute of fingering, you feel the orgasm building, '' ah! Ah! I'm cumming''. Poseidon sits up and starts to undress letting his perfect body display in full glory, letting his thick fat cock spring out, Y/N tried to get up and runaway only for Poseidon to catch her,' '' the best part is coming and your running away?, pulling back he positioned his cock, rubbing his tip to part the slit of her pussy and begins to push inside. You cried feeling ripped apart, '' now, now the pain will subside later, bear with it'' Poseidon then suddenly pushes everything earning a hard scream from you' '' why would you do this it hurts really'' Poseidon just ignored your words and keeps delivering powerful thrust rocking your world upside down. After a minute of thrusting Poseidon' s cock started to twitch, his orgasm is near ''now be good and take all of my seed, don't spill a drop, you should be honored that you will receive this' 'with one final thrust he released rope after rope of cum, he spreads your legs and pushed the overflowing cum with his fingers. After that he' s still not satisfied with one round making you bend in every position he likes and shooting hot spurt of come inside you, '' ah ah ah Please I'm so tired I can't do it anymore'' You said with tears streaming your face, Poseidon thrusts in ungodly pace realeasing his last hot cum inside her,he kissed her forehead laying beside the blond girl wrapping his arms around her both of them drifting to sleep' '' truly my love your the fairiest of all''.The girl barely heard what the god said praying that everything that just happened is a bad dream, wishing everything will go back to normal when she wakes up. May the days ahead heals her shattered heart.

(there's a part two and I'm taking request, see you>^<)

[souji-upseta]

yo my name is nyx, it's my birthday today (2/3). my birthdays have sucked SHIT the past few years for reasons that are depressing—

—cringe is also dead, i killed her myself, and i'm still grieving her loss. its been very hard for me—

—since i am the protagonist of Me and can do st abt this, this year i turn 31, and i will at some point turn 31.4, with all of this in mind, what do i want for my birthday? i'll tell you:

to talk about homestuck.

i'll do that, anyways, but you'd be doing me a gift by giving me a prompt to follow, and to feel slightly more validated in my inability to shut up about my hyperfixation.

so i'm asking YOU to talk about homestuck with me.

talk to me abt homestuck? ask me my headcanons. my thoughts. my relationship to the work. tell me yours. expect nothing that's profound, and plenty that's stupid.

i'm even turning anon on, for the first time in 6 fucking years. where making this happen.

this never expires btw. today is my birthday, but, for story purposes, let's say that it's still my birthday after it isn't, bc i will still want and, if i am honest, NEED you to talk to me about homestuck for years onward. i'm very metatextual like that.

i get the feeling it's going to be a long day.

>Nyx: Be the other guy.

You are now the other guy! What will you do?

>Web Tumblr User: Inbox Tumblr user souji-upseta?

>Mobile App Tumblr User: Do that, but hyperlink is unavailable?

=(n×∞)>

FOURTH WALL BREAK!

you are now nyx again, and i am now me, and i need to exposit some lore.

as in, some starting points to get u going, since "homestuck" is a very broad subject:

•i'm a massive massive slut for the epilogues and post canon content/hsbc. pesterquest is too good for this gay earth.

•dirk is my fav, ALL of the dirks, all of them, and it isn't even close. my fav relationship is the canon platonic/familial one between dirk and dave. i fucking love the striders. dave is my 1.5th fav.

•im more invested in dave's relationship to corndogs (and corn dogs) than you even know.

•mspa reader is my second fav after the striders, bc they are a good thembo friendsimp and also bc they are me and they are You. i might be biased. i love You. i love me. i love us. we're fucking gr8.

•im pretty canon-compliant, so my fav ship is dirkjake as exes (for now), and my fav ship as not-exes is panquadrant (canon) davekat.

i'm also really fascinated by rosemary and would welcome more opportunities to learn abt and talk about them but if homestuck makes a statement about anything it's to let the women and the sapphic characters tell their story (thats a joke, talk to me abt them too)

•june eg(g)bert real.

•i'm fascinated by classpects and the applications of paradox space's classpecting and extended zodiac system when applied to real life, since our only experience of those fictional systems is in linear dimensions of spacetime, and our only experience of astrology is as a species that in-universe cannot experience the sign caste system the same way the fictional aliens that created our species in their own image do. skaia knows, but we sure as fuck don't.

•i'm a former prince of heart (2012-2020) and a current knight of space, and my aspect is light. that is a thing that actually makes perfect sense for the reasons i just said.

don't ask me about vriska serket or (vriska) serket. not bc i'm not willing to discuss dark or problematic characters (hello, lanque bombyx) but bc:

for one, she can speak for her damn self, and has, tyvm.

for two, talking at length about a problematic character in any positive capacity marks you as an enemy of the state if that character is a woman, and being an enemy of the state is way too much fucking pressure for me for reasons i already explained as soon as i told you i'm a knignt of space. i wouldnt make a very good enemy of the state. it'd be an unhealthy blackrom relationship to the detriment of us all.

for three, i can just give you all my opinions/headcanons on vriska that matter:

•JOHN HUGGING VRISKA IN HSBC YESSSSSSSSSS

•she's greasy and gross and unkept af but not unclean or unsanitary, like, she bathes, she smells fine, she changes her clothes, but she's got the troll crust punk aesthetic absolutely on LOCK. she doesn't comb her hair.

•it would have been funny if she did even more bad things

•aradia did nothing wrong. vriska did but the meme is funny even if someone needs to take that meme out back and shoot it for the good of humanity.

•she should beat up ultimate dirk, and my reasoning for that is bc that would, also, be really fucking funny if she did

•john has both punched her in the face and hugged her, and now that john has punched aranea in the face, all that's left is for june—i assume she will have come out of her egg(bert) by then—to hug aranea and complete the circle of stupidity.

•she is trans yeah but she doesn't wanna get into it, she doesn't have to, and neither do i.

•vrisrezi most important relationship in homestuck.

there. you already got me to talk about vriska at length, and you didn't have to try. moot issue.

[enhaheeseung]

So basically ppl were trying to sexualize riki, and someone found this message: https://www.tumblr.com/jwonsite/738013651737444352/for-the-riki-smut-writers

then if u look through the comments ppl were saying that it applies to all the members but idk much, just checking to see Ur opinion on it.

Hmm interesting I mean idk I guess to each his own I personally would never write anything for niki or even feel comfortable thinking of him like that but that’s just me plus I’m only attracted to heeseung so there’s that even the older members I’d never write smut for

As far as smut writing goes for the rest of the members I can say there is an extent that I’m willing to go and I know this is gonna sound hypercritical as a smut writer myself but I’ve seen things that just aren’t my cup of tea and I feel certain things could just be left unsaid especially assumptions about how the members are in real life it’s one thing to write fiction but to actually come up and state that (whatever’s being talked about at the time) is real that’s when I draw the line

Also this may sound dumb but I feel like most smut is just tasteless like there’s just no actual substance to what’s happening it’s just boom bang bam smut end and i feel those writers probably shouldn’t write it but this is all personal and I’m not claiming im a better writer in any way

Anyways to answer your question tho I’m 50/50 I do get why people don’t want the members being sexualized (even I feel that way sometimes when it’s just tacky) and I get that others just realize it’s fiction and entertainment that being said I do feel like there’s an over sexualization sometimes and that’s the 50 that I don’t like again I know that sounds hypocritical cause I write smut but there’s just a type of smut/hard thoughts that just disgust me at times (I hope someone else feels like this and I don’t just sound crazy lol)

So basically I like smut when it’s more vanilla and tame not just some wild fantasy that would 99% never happen (not kink shaming tho this is just my preference)

Oh one more thing it’s hard for me to talk about the whole niki situation cause even tho he’s young the people sexualizing him might also be young too it doesn’t make it any better but the fact is unfortunately this is an app that underage people can access as well as other apps with adult content it does suck cause these people are young and probably don’t really see the immediate problem with it but there is indeed things that need to be implemented to protect minors being exposed to this shit and that’s a whole other problem that doesn’t involve niki or kpop but fact is we live in a fucked up world with fucked up things going on and I guess what I’m trying to say is that atp there really shouldn’t be any surprise should we try to stop it? Yes will it happen? Probably not but unfortunately thats just the way it is same shit happened with other idols too I do appreciate the people who call out underage blogs tho it helps keep things a little safer for the younger folk here so yeah even I have thought about deactivating my blog cause I know I have an influence on my readers and minors might be accessing my blog so sometimes it just makes me wonder if it’d be better to stop writing cause if I could protect just one underage person from being exposed to content like this I’d delete this app in a heart beat it’s fun writing but it’s not fun exposing people to stuff they shouldn’t be seeing and I know the whole talk about it’s the parents responsibility to keep kids off sites like this and writers shouldn’t have to quit because parents aren’t doing their jobs and blah blah blah but if you have that understanding that these kids aren’t being taught properly now is where you step in and take that role to be better than the people who raise kids up like that

Honestly I could write a whole essay but I’m sure I have bored everyone else by now

Again I was asked my opinion and this is all just my opinion so do not @ me

[atrial-ofhorror-if]

Hey, y'all! It's that time of the month again~~ Time for a monthly update!! 

I want to start this off with checking in on you guys. How's everyone doing? The year just started but it just feels like time is moving so fast already. I hope that this year will be much kinder to us all than it has been 🙏🏿🙏🏿 last year really tried to knock my dome top off, but I'm still here, so thats something. Let's all do our best, and kick or at least bruise the universes ass!

Clerical Updates

I have some changes that I'm planning for the Itch.io page, guys 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿First thing first, I want to change the game's title screen. I had initially made it in Canva with the aid of a friend from work, but as I continue to work through the game, I feel like there could be a much more fitting image. However, your girl isn't a graphic designer, so I want to commission someone to make a header or some shit.

Then I want to add a game starting page into the actual demo. I’ve looked at some examples from other IF writers who have made one, but I think my code is wrong (as it usually is), so I’m pacing back and forth trying to figure out exactly how and what I’m doing wrong. stay tuned for the shenanigans, cause I bet its something super simple 🙃🙃

I've been slowing down in writing. I typically write in my Google docs app on my phone, it's easier than opening my laptop, but the app has been having hella issues. I think it's because of the document size, so it's been significantly slowing down my writing time. I've been looking into alternative apps, so if anyone has recommendations, let me know. 

Game Progress

 I am officially at 60k+ words!!  

To be well (Alex’s Route): 49%

Search and Destroy (Mark's Route): <1%

Interlude (Intermission): 4%

So far, I have three big scenes left to write in Alex’s route. 

North Wing. Nuff said.

Convergent: not to be confused with divergence

Isekai? Isekai. 

Once I've written those scenes out, the rest will be smooth sailing. I just have ends to tie up and scenes to flesh out before I can finally push it into editing. I might do some of the fleshing out during editing to make it easier on myself (and to give myself a break), but I am just trying to go with the flow.

Once I push the game into editing, I'll take a break before I start on Mark's route. I'm still dealing with fatigue from Miss Rona despite having the same progress I had before I got sick but it just feels... weird. Like your girl is trapped in a slumber or something and I can't get out, but now I'm being anecdotal.

Back onto topic.

I want to talk about Mark's route for a moment. Because it truly is the bane of my existence, and I'm DREADING having to write it. I have three possible ways of how I want to deal with it:

Write the damn thing out, and stop bitching. Not ideal

Don't write it and be great 😤😤😤 most ideal

Release Alex's route once done with editing and worry about Mark at a later date. also not ideal cause then I have to come back to it! 🥴🤧😭

So, the last option is something I'm looking at real disrespectfully. Partially because I'm probably going to have to rewrite some of the subplots because when I plotted the outline for the entire episode, I had a precise idea of what was to occur. But Alex's route completely shifted from what was supposed to be there into something that I don't even recognize. Which isn't a bad thing, just… an inconvenience 🥴🥴

Therefore a lot of things that were supposed to happen just didn't. Which, again, isn't a bad thing. It just means that I need to reign the plot in again. I could finesse a lot of the content to make it flow, BUT that will take me some time.

So, in short... I still don't know what I'm gonna do!! 😭😭 but I probably will end up writing Mark's route cause I don't want to end up shorting you guys on content just cause I'm feeling lazy.

This episode has a LOT of variety in it. Like, I'm not even bullshitting. I'm aiming to make it so that you guys can replay it as often as you desire and still find new things you would have missed. (To make up for the fact that episode 2 probably won't be released until next year if we're being honest 🥴🥴)

The interlude isn't even something I'm thinking about at the moment. Partially because I'm trying to push through Episode 1, get done with Alex's Route and start on Mark's. A portion of it will still be in the update, but I'm debating if its going to be even smaller than what I intended it to be. Possibly? But again, I'm not so much of a planner as much as I am a 'go with the flow'er.

I'm hoping to drop pieces of the interlude this year until it's whole, instead of just writing the entire thing, cause I swear I'm not doing this shit again, lol 🤣🤣. Either way, I will keep you guys updated if anything changes.

I think that's it? If you guys have any questions, you know what to do. And if you need anything, let me know! I'm semi-available (not really) on the weekdays so I'll try to answer any asks as quickly as I can. But either way, love y'all 🤎🤎

[monzamash]

just don’t understand why u keep saying you’ve gone off daniel because of ‘what he said/did earlier in the season’ yet ur perfectly happy to write for lando who also made questionable comments idk just feels hypocritical. what made landos comments ok but daniels so horrid lol it makes no sense 👍 if u want to be a daniel hater just come out and say it instead of being all coy about it and pretending like ur not being weird about it cause u say u won’t write for him and then u update ur layout and put up a picture of it lmao so which is it

i don’t know if this is the same anon that’s been sending me shit every second day for months about this - i’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say it’s not because of the way you’ve typed this out but the message is still the same and this is the last straw.

i don’t hate daniel. if you look at my last post i said that he’s a big part of why i fell in love with f1. he was also the reason i started this blog so just because i’m not writing for him now, doesn’t mean i hate him. it’s not as black and white for me as it seems to be for you.

writing doesn’t define my blog - its something i do when i feel like it and most of the time i’m either chatting with you guys on here or supporting other writers. it was a fun escape but lately it’s been the opposite of that.

people may not like this but in my opinion daniels comments were significantly more damaging than landos vague response to a question that nobody could factually corroborate. i don’t think i’m alone in thinking that. daniel straight up said the one thing i personally hate the most when someone’s defending an abuser which is, “well [insert name] has always been good to me so…” that’s what upset me the most and now i have no desire to write for him. that is simply how i feel and if you don’t agree/understand, it’s all good. try and find other blogs who do share your views. makes life a lot easier.

anyway, did daniels comments make me want to erase every trace of him from my blog? no but i made it clear that i wouldn’t be writing for him for the foreseeable future and if anything changed, i would give people the heads up. what i absolutely won’t be doing is caving in to bullies who hide behind a shadow on the fucking internet who say i that i should delete my blog and myself while i’m at it.

so the context of why i made a header with daniel in it was that i thought including him would allow people the chance to bounce if they don’t want to read any daniel fics or interact with a blog that had a lot of daniel content in the past - people hate him and have made sure to tell me how fucked i am to still have his fics in my masterlist. thats the sort of hate that really gets to me because i’m so proud of some of those fics and spent a lot of time on them. that’s one reason why I won’t ever delete them but it’s also because there are daniel fans out there who hopefully feel like they can still interact with me even if we don’t share the exact same opinion. i don’t want that to change.

another thing to note is that this header was up for like two seconds and the fact you saw it must mean you’re just stalking my page? are you checking in to call me out the second i do something wrong? and you think i’m weird? alright lol

lastly, saying i’m being coy and weird isn’t fair - i’ve been honest about where i stand and even when i’ve been unsure, i was still being upfront and owning the fact that i didn’t know what direction this blog would take after all that. so if what i’ve said in this post or in the past isn’t enough for you, then just leave please. literally leave me alone because i don’t want to do this anymore.

[majaloveschris]

i havent a clue what this shit is myself. im in between a shonky pr contract and a situationship gone wrong. that being said what are the chances that chris letting them inside his house were a part for if the deal, to enhance "believability"? physically near them? because thats what really pisses me off. is there a possibility that legally he can't say no to having these racist slackers within close proximity. we get mad at him for being around them but what if hes obligated to? i didnt really want to ask because then it feels like im letting him off the hook and im not. i have no idea whether hes deliberately choosing violence or is genuinely stuck doing things he wouldnt normally do because who really knows. if theres anything i do fully believe its that someone else is managing his social media content: the love hearts, melting emojis, lovey dovey stories etc bullshit bullshit. ehblaggh im not an expert, im just really confused 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. what do you think the actual details of a pr contract might look like? PS: i too hope that you are safe and well. It takes nerves of steel to stay calm while being reasonably close to something so scary 💛💛

I think the main reason is that they suck doing this whole thing, and also because it's more comfortable and easier this way. Let me explain:

1. It's not that suspicious. For example, doing pap walks or being seen at different places by a paparazzi would be more giving than being at his place, and they don't even have to be alone.

2. They can choose the perfect images and videos. We all know now that doing something in public, like the pap walk or Disney, isn't really working for them due to their lack of chemistry and the fact that they look like they don't even want to be around each other. However, if they do stuff like the scare video or when Justin shares a story, they can take another one, and another, until it's perfect. There are no fans or bystanders like in New York who can film or photograph them while they are unaware. And even when they did this, the results were usually pretty crappy, like the scare video clips.

3. They don't have to go to public places together, and there won't be any professionally taken pictures. It's like they don't have to be on the same photo, so there will only be a few actual photos of the two of them.

I think he is definitely obligated to do certain things, but he and his team are trying to do the very minimum; they are trying to get through this whole thing without them actually needing to be seen that many times. Maybe Chris would rather do something like this in places where he feels comfortable and where he can have his friends and family members with him. I assume they provide them a safe place, and I think the same can be said about her; that's why she always brings her friends along. I guess Chris and his team think it's better to do that rather than be out in public together.

I could be wrong. This is only my opinion. He doesn't seem to enjoy her company, so I wouldn't say he is so happy that they are there, but it's better than being in public.

Thank you so much! It's definitely scary, but I'm trying to remain positive, and I'm more worried about those who live near the border; luckily, I live on the other end of the country.

[sister-lucifer]

I'm the anon who sent the last ask. I appreciate the calm and kind reply. I'd like to further elaborate on my point aswell, because at the time of the ask, I was very frustrated and didn't properly convey what I was trying to say.

In your dubcon LJ X Reader fic, you call the reader, a rape victim, a slut. You refer to the fanfiction as 'smut'. While I understand you may have intended for it to come across as just dark or horror or purposefully uncomfortable... It is still a really bad way to handle that. I don't have a problem with you writing about rape. But, the way you write about these acts has an air of disrespect to the topic at hand, which is why I said you were 'no better than those types of people' (which I apologize for, and isn't really reflective of how I actually feel about the things you write).

Generally, it is frustrating you ask proshippers to dni, but don't handle the topic of rape with proper grace. I'm not going to assume you're glorifying it, because I don't think that's your intention, but the way it is dealt with comes across as insensitive.

okay. so, let me get this straight… your beef with me comes from the fact that i joking said in the content/warnings section, and i quote, “reader is kind of a slut boy (same)” ?

furthermore, this is about the LJ fic? really? i mean not to encourage beef or anything but of all the fics you could’ve chosen…that one? i mean okay 🤷

alright listen, i don’t feel like arguing, so after this post i’m turning anon off so you can take it up with me personally, account to account, if you really need to keep going.

as a victim of childhood sexual assault myself, i must say, i think you’ve got a bit of a stick up your ass. believe it or not i think i’d have a pretty good grasp of what is and is not ok

all my fics are properly tagged with warnings and full disclosure of the content inside. don’t like? don’t read. something tells me you didn’t even read the fic if you’re getting this worked up about a clearly joking comment. i totally get that my more intense content isn’t for everyone, and thats okay. i’m not glorifying anything, like you said, and i’m not going to censor myself for you.

this will be the end of the discussion, thank you and goodnight everybody.

[harleythealter]

Realizing a few reasons I was passionate about the military:

1) serving something greater than me/for our country

2a) having a reason that’s worth being in so much physical pain/mental distress

2b) knowing where that shit came from

3) get away from my family

4) structure

5) comrades

6) being surrounded by people fighting for the same thing as you

7) I know I’m strong and I’m capable

8) I would trust myself more than other people to protect our country

Reasons I’m choosing why I won’t go into the military:

1) I realized I would find pride in my job/serving something greater than me. Due to the following reasons not to, I chose to find pride in a different service

2) my mentor suggested missionary work that’s not just preaching about a religion but using my hands and ability to work hard to change lives

3) I didn’t want military required vaccines because although vaccines-> mental disorders is still a pseudoscience, I don’t want to risk my children’s health on any chance, additionally I don’t want to have those vaccines in my own body and I keep up on my health and quarantine when necessary so I have no guilt about that choice

4) I’m concerned that I’m not actually mentally stable enough to fight in a war zone with any ability to attempt processing what I experience

5) what if I come back mentally disabled and am unable to mother children the way they deserve

6) what if it’s the wrong choice?

7) the military/government owns my body

8) rape statistics

9) what if I disagree with the side in other countries that our military has me protecting/fighting for

10) I can hardly look my parents in the eye and say that I’m going away for four years to a place I may never come back from

11) it’s really fucking overwhelming to try to decide what I want to do in the military

12) what if I don’t even pass the tests to get into the military

13) I’m terrified to start physical therapy(at home) for my legs because what happens when I’m healed

Reasons I’m about to impulsively join:

1) too many people have said along the lines of… thank goodness; I mean, we are just stepping into wars… it’s not a peaceful time anymore

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK??? THATS THE ENTIRE FUCKING REASON TO JOIN(I don’t feel the pressure to go to college and it’s not necessary for the life I want to lead so I wouldn’t go so the military would pay for my schooling)

2) all the things I support the military(suicide awareness walks, putting wreaths on veteran gravestones), my heart aches to be part of something like that

3) I feel like I’m lying to myself when I say “you’ll be content if you serve somewhere else” due to the way I long to be able to say that “I served” even if it’s silent, and to myself. My own badge of honor to say that I didn’t back down

4) I keep questioning if it’s the right place for me to serve

5) THE STRUCTURE AND EXPECTATIONS FOR MY PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES WOULD HAVE ME FUCKING STRONG

6) finally finding some people who have such a strong tie to me(my idiotic brain trying to convince me that I don’t have a best friend for over a decade)

7) if the fight came to our homeland, I want to be the one to protect my family

[balmondmilk]

Ask and ye shall fucking RECEIVE, here's a list of things I plan on drawing at some point

1. A plantperson x PC piece inspired by Klimt's The Kiss and also some lovely plantpeople art that's been going around recently

2. Harper hypnotising someone (PC lmao who am I kidding) into giving them head

3. Night Monster, because I am a monsterfucker first and person second

4. A variety of horny drawings lmao

5. Briar because I'm fucking obsessed with them but No One Else Seems To Be So I'll Fill The Void Myself

5. Wren because they've been requested and also I Love Them

6. Syd for the same reasons as Wren

7. I haven't decided on if I want to write a full-on fic or draw a short comic of it yet but it's Bailey getting fucked up physically and the PC saving him which fucks up Bailey psychologically

8. And many more, please send help (or tell me in which order to do these, ADHD makes me want to do them all at once lmao)

Puts these in my mouth thank you for these ingredence to rotate in my mind

1. FUCK YEAH GUSTAV KLIMT THATS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTISTS AND I CANNOT WAIT AND ALSO PLANT PEOPLE CHEFS KISS

2. As Harper do. I support.

3. Good fantastic I love that omfg cuz I am also a monster fucker and I crave more content for this creecher

4. As one does 💚💚💚

5. YOOOO I was just talking about briar the other day I said that one day I wanna draw masc briar in the red dress with plunging neckline cuz god that sounds amazing can't wait to see what you doooo

5.2. more wren is a fantastic idea as per always I love how you draw them too aaaaa

6. SYYYDNEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY-- Coughs sorry something came over me

(I'm in love with them I'm biased but I wanna see your draw of Sydney asap hdjdhd)

7. Absolutely the best idea we love a good Angst Driven piece of media in This House

(this house being my house)

(you're in my house rn--)

But I love the idea of like oh Bailey sees himself so fuckin untouchable and strong and can do no wrong but Something Unexpected Happens and suddenly he has to get help god can you imagine

Love that shit

8. Gives you a leaf in this trying time

You know I'm gonna be biased and say Sydney is on top of my list--

I really would love to see the Klimt piece soon too! Or the Bailey narrative depends on how much time and energy putting into these

I'm also super indecisive but those stand out to me the most ATM hdjdhd

I find a way to figure out what I wanna do is do eeny meeny miny mo and if I am disappointed in the result I chose the other one dhdhd but that's easier said than done and all of these sound so sick and I would love to see any of these aaaa so excited!!!!

[storybookprincess]

i hope its okay for me to write to you, but i feel like… im slowing losing my passion in writing? not really. i know thats not true because i still have so much fun with writing but sometimes i just feel like nothing i write matters and i’ll never be as good as other people because my first language isnt english. and i know, i know - comparison is a thief of joy and i usually dont compare, i swear (i even hide my stats on ao3 so i dont have to measure myself with numbers). its just that.. sometimes its tough. i dont know what i want. i dont want to quit but this just drives me crazy sometimes haha anyway.. have you ever feel that way? any tips on overcoming it? (if you dont want to answer, thats fine - thanks anyway for giving me a space to rant)

i’m going to keep it 100% real with you—i’m actually dealing with the exact same thing right now

i just feel……… tired as soon as even i think about writing. i wonder what happened to the person who could bang out 2k words within an afternoon & still feel that irrepressible itch to write more. big projects don’t seem invigorating & exciting anymore; they just sound exhausting. and it terrifies me, because being a writer is so central to who i am. if i lose that, then what??

anyway, all of that is to say that the following advice is as much for myself as it is for you, and that you’re not alone in this struggle:

1. first, take a deep breath. it’s okay. it’s okay for your passion to wax & wane. it’s okay if you take a little hiatus from writing or posting anything. its okay if you take a big one. it’s okay if things about your writing routine change. you are a writer, and you always will be a writer, even if you don’t put another word on paper for the next decade. you’re a writer not because of your word count, or your current wip, or the time you dedicate to writing today, but because of how writing has shaped who you are. because if you went back in time & erased writing from your life thus far, you would no longer be you. you’re a writer, now & forever, and nothing can change that

2. with all that being said, i hope you can understand that it’s okay to take a break. in fact, it might be necessary. i’m actually taking a break for the month of january, because i know that if i keep pushing myself when i’m creatively running on empty, i’m only going to further deplete my resources, not restore them. when i was younger, i used to think of decisions as all or nothing. you either keep writing or your quit. but that’s not true at all. you can take a break, even an indefinite break, and pick right back up where you left off. taking a break isn’t quitting, and while i know every creative person online is currently suffering from Content Machine Disease, you are allowed to go weeks or months or even years without sharing your work. breaks are okay. breaks are necessary

3. think about the bigger picture. first, what life stressors are you dealing with right now? these can often be hard to spot, but they lurk in the background, sapping your creative energy. you can’t run a marathon on a broken leg, and you can’t create when your mental energy is being drained. have grace & patience with yourself as you sort out the big stuff or just weather the storm. life obstacles to writing are very real

and second, try to think back to when you were most passionate about writing. when writing was thrilling and exciting and invigorating. what was it about that time that was different? did you have close writing friends who have since drifted away? were you writing about certain topics, or in certain formats? how has your mindset towards yourself & your creativity changed? for me, i’ve realized that i probably need to start replying to comments again, because that was a huge part of my excitement & joy when my love for writing was at its peak. how can you recreate those past circumstances in your life right now?

as always, i’ve gotten way too long winded 😅 if you got through this whole reply, thank you. i am wishing you all the best in rediscovering your passion, and please know that we’re walking that road together

[pinkwright]

If we ever do talk about any of those things it’s never in a negative aspect until it’s homophobia. Whenever her sexuality and love life are brought up it’s constantly through people asking through the ask box always asking about people tish has interacted with in the past lwhen we’ve moved on. Or anons just randomly coming in peoples ask box saying that she’s straight and they always say that at times when we’re admiring her . so no one rarely talks about it till it’s brought up by anons. I mean Billie eilish stans talk the same things about Billie unprovoked might I add . We talk about it when it’s brought up

but there's a lot of nuance with what negative is esp when u relate it to the context we're discussing it in, with so many perspectives and opinions, negativity is relative so u cant rlly say its never negative. u could meant for it not to be negative but it could be received as negative (not rlly ur responsibility tho ig).

n the asks, look, i cant speak for anyone but myself n ppl who may share the same views w me but whats the point of tagging repetitive asks that u urself dont even want to answer for everyone to see under tags that we all browse ? thats my point, is why do these blog specific asks have to now become everyones content esp when its being dismissed by the responder too ?

n one of the only reasons (most of the time) these asks r constantly sent is bc of engagement, again im not policing what u do w ur asks but if someone says some shit about tishs sexuality in ur asks n u respond "im not answering these anymore" but a min later ur respong to another saying the same thing w "i already said im not responding to these" n on top of that u tag them ? ppl r gonna get annoyed, this isnt twt we cant just mute shit so now we're seeing those every single day ?? like sure answer those asks all u want dude idc but to make it everyones content ?

n the billie thing, idk i cant rlly comment bc i've never been in her fandom but from an outside perspective im sure ppl discuss billies sexuality bc she put it out there that she was straight n then does vv not straight shit or wtv idk the semantics but even then it doesnt seem like its to the extent that its discussed w letitia but idk again i cant say for sure 🦦

but idk dude at the end of the day ppl should do what they want

[angeldiaries777]

trigger warning mental health, online addiction. personal stuff!!! i don't want to post anymore. part one of two.

i don't want to try so hard anymore. going to be real here for a sec i don't like my life. i don't like who i am. i don't like this app. i don't like this world or any of the people in it. i do need help. i need a lot of help. i don't like this blog anymore. its not fun. its not carefree. its just something i do now subconsciously with zero effort. its not me. its not cool. i don't like it. i'm not enjoying it at all. since i deleted quite literally every other app this is where i go on for everything. and thats just toxic. i am not having fun like i said a thousand times before. i just want my thoughts and things i liked at the time to be docutmented somehwere on some account because i know i will forget. i am very miserable in my life and with myself. i know that i need to stop using this app as much as i do and same with a few others and certain accounts on websites i just have nothing left in me. i've always posted online. ive always interacted online. i've always been obsessed with watching content and consuming media books movies shows music etc etc. and i'm feeling fatigue from it. idk how many more fucking lana del rey gifs i can reblog till i lose my fucking shit for good and end it all. everything that inspired me is dull. the relationships and parasocial relationships i form with celebrities characters and people online is just plain unhealthy. especially when its causing me to ignore the ones i have in real life. i need a break. i need a break from all the media i consume. i need a break from music and from tumblr and from everything else that is slolwly rotting my brain. the attachment i have to these apps is unhealthy. the amount of time i spend on my phone or ipad or literally any other device is actually sickly. i need a break from looking at or even just holding my phone for so many hours a day. i need an actual sleep schedule and i need to not wake up at 4am and have my first thought be to open tumblr or to save pins on pinterest. i got rid of so many physical items and cut off so many people but the actual thing hurting me the most is my addiction to the internet and to media. i need to stop posting. i need to stop interacting i need to stop watching videos and movies and listening to music at the rates that i do. it is unhealthy at best and detrimental to my life and health at worst. its like those interventions they have for people with alcohol or other addictions. ive known this about myself for a long time and it only worsens the more time passes. i have issues!!!!! i have real issues in my real life that will not be solved by venting about it to my 8 followers. i need to stop. i need to sit alone with my thoughts without a podcast or an album playing in the background. i need to see what my life is like and who i am without all of this. without the things i thought i liked. the things i thought were keeping me alive and sane and healthy were actually the most destructive. i need to stop relying so heavily on things that don't exist. all these pictures and people are fake. i"m not a character or a stereotype. im a fucking person. whenever i got a negative comment i used to lay awake thinking about that. its not okay anymore. its affecting my life way too much. i don't want to think of the world and only think of what i see online because i don't love my reality. i don't want to be sad anymore. i don't want to know what that person across the world thinks of that topic or what kim kardashian had for breakfast. i want to actually live my life again for what it is and not what i wished it was. because truth be told i am very blessed in sooo many ways and i take it for granted so often. i am so much more than that sad face emoticon on somebodys phone screen. i don't want to see the same pictures of bella hadid on every fucking app with the same generic text and font over it. i don't want to consume copious amounts of self help content anymore whilst refusing to actually do any of that self help when im clearly not qualified and clearly need professional help.

[what-if-nct]

hi i exist and i had a dream about me having eggs with jj0ng. it’s safe to say that i’m finally undepressed and i’m writing a story on ao3.

which leads me to my question, how do you stop yourself from procrastinating? idk if you know, but i wanted to ask in case if you did. i do like your posts as always even though i’m shy to make any tumblr posts as of this time. i had just introduced myself to live journal and i’m using it just to make fake old posts of me thirsting over shinee, tvxq and snsd because i miss that era of being a kpop fan and i wish i lived through it myself. every time someone screams “my ovaries” would make my heart cry. i miss teenagers being… well… teenagers. it’s sad that we might not see golden content like these anymore, but at least i have a space to act like i did because i’m delulu and need to be stopped.

Hii! Wholesome dreams are definitely a true antidepressant. Oh I procrastinate all the time. I even procrastinate eating and putting up my groceries. Like I don't buy milk, eggs or real meat. It's fine but there's still hummus, cheese and tofu so after i remember that i do it. But something I do that does help me especially with posts is I give myself a deadline like you have this post half written in your drafts try to get it finished by the end of the week and give yourself an incentive. Like if I clean my closet by the end of today I can buy my whole shopping cart on whatever site I want. I think cause that's how it was when I was a kid. After school or summer camp especially if we were fussy in the morning our grandma would have some kind of treat or toy for us when we got back so we knew if we go to school that means we'll get a hula hoop or ice cream or cookie when we got back. So I think you should try rewarding yourself for when you finally do something you've been meaning to do. I hope that is helpful for you. Also don't feel guilty if you don't do something you can always change your idea if the current one isn't inspiring you I do that all the time and it always works out better than your original idea. I was a kpop fan around that time. I totally remember the my ovaries or my ovaries exploded thing. I see some current version of that and it's like "I am ovulating right now I can't handle this" but I think its usually like people a little older at least I just follow people around my age.. I've definitely said it But I think just creating that atmosphere for yourself is great. I have noticed that a lot of younger fans are extremely puritanical I've never seen anything like it. I was like 15 when I became a kpop fan so it was different and even fans of elvis and the Beatles were similar in the 50s and 60s. Like not even jokes about idols smoking are even allowed. Like honey that's a grown man. It's okay he smokes and it's okay when especially adults find him sexy when he's behaving in a sexy manner that's the idea. It's only a problem when that's all you see them for and all they are to you is a sex symbol thats the only time it's a problem. It's fine if you don't want to do that I especially think so if it's a 30 year old man probably dont do that. But don't shame those who do it when it's called for. I think it's just the vicious attacks I have a problem with. I will never forgive Armys for what they did to cupcakke, she's the same age as Jungkook for goodness sake.

[endious]

one thing mfs rllllyyyy cant seem to do is separate reality from fiction... "taboo" kinks and fanfic topics will always exist. dark romances and dark erotica always will. these will be the same mfs telling you to kys over writing non-con scenarios and then picking up a book like hooked or even a fucking colleen hoover one.

these will sometimws even bw the same people with taboo kinks themself - piss, whatever the fuck. cnc is as much of a kink as others !!!! you seriously DO NOT have ro tell ppl to kts over ir!!! it is not that serious i PROMISE you!! ESPECIALLY when its in fiction too.

your fanfictions would only be truly hurtful if they, you know, actually hurt someone — which is mostly impossible because if someone even happens to read a thirst of yours, they'll know to either back off because its not their thing or to indulge in some more since they like it. by continuining to reading ur fics, and getting hurt by it, thats THEIR fault because they had their warning.

you have rhe rules page for a reason, if someone ignores it, thats their fault. consuming media of topics that are harmful to you will always be your fault if you get hurt by it, since mosf times there will be content warnings for things. (this is different for media with obvious taboo topics that have no warning whatsoever - which can definitely happen and is unforrunate.)

all in all - dont tell people on the internet to kill themselves over fiction. over jeff the killed thirsts. over jeff the fucking killer fanfiction. you are chronically online and need help!

anyways. how u doing cadie <3 i hope ur doing well!

-🔪 nonnie <3

i couldnt have said it better myself honestly. thank you for putting what ive been thinking this whole time into words ! i’ve always been of the mindset that people need to curate their own experiences. if something makes them uncomfortable or triggers them just stop interacting with those themes ! block people, block tags, block content — there’s things you can do to protect yourself but if you’re purposefully exposing yourself to themes that you dont like who else is to blame but yourself ? there’s a reason i have warnings on my blog and warnings on each fanfic i post bcus it is important for people to know before reading something that it will contain things that might make a majority of people uncomfortable. so i dont know what else i can do when i have done every thing i can to make people aware of what i post. the only ones at fault are the dumb asses making themselves triggered and uncomfortable by reading my stuff when they know they arent comfy with the themes from the start.

pushing that aside bcus i dont want to feel bad today, IM DOING GOOD ! ! definitely needed sleep that fixed my mindset and mood by so much honestly <3 i hope you’re doing good too babes ! ! im still waiting for my jtk plush -_- but it was finally sent out to ship or whatever like ? ? ? 8 or 9 states away LMFAOOA so it probably wont reach me for a while unfortunately but im excited regardless ANDJAODOWM how are you ! ! tell me anything i missed while you were gone 😞

[statementlou]

Heyy. Hope you feel better soon!

So since you asked I'm hoping asking this is okay. Its also partially a rant... the way some people are talking about the marketing campaign award for Louis that bmg got is annoying me a lot. And then saying fans did all the work. That latter is a part of the strategy and fans fall for it (and thats fine) and do the free work for them so why would they change that. Also people constantly complaining about the seperate social media account (lthq) as if its a bad thing is also annoying. Like even if people don't follow it it's not like thats the only way they'll get information if they're really interested in finding out. Follows just means this is content i want to see on my feed regularly. Additional content ill search myself on a I want to check basis and thats fine. If louis personal account had all that stuff maybe people wouldn't follow that account because some people dont want all that marketing stuff constantly on your feed a lot of the time. Anyway a lot of this to say people are being annoying and I'd love some of your thoughts on that. Also maybe I've overthought it but there's something insidious about the fact that it was a woman who posted that marketing award thing and the way people are saying "go on girl give us nothing" or whatever. Idk maybe I'm too exhausted by the constant misogyny and i know its likely would be the same if it wasn't a woman but it is so I've overthought it.

SO FUCKING ANNOYING OMG and you know what I do NOT think it would be the same if it was a guy- she is getting all that and my god there was that one BMG person who was SO COOL (I don't remember her name or exact position I'm sorry) and trying to engage with fans back right after he signed, was actually answering questions about marketing and strategy but got totally run off by those jerks and we lost that fucking WONDERFUL source- but they don't go after Matt Vines or Mark Brightman or etc etc with that degree of fucking viciousness. I could rant about this all night but it wouldn't be the first time so here are some things I've said before in this general vein and yes to all of this you said! This one is probably the most relevant.

[thewickerking]

Thoughts on kink at pride? Love your blog

i think everyone should fuck nasty at pride <3

on the off chance this is a genuine question and not bait, i have a genuine and in depth response under the read more so... yeah

again, if this is genuine, i am a bit apologetic for the unserious answer. however, it is my opinion that due to the long standing history and alliance (as well as overlap) between kink and lgbt communities (at the very least for usamerican culture, which is my experience and all that i can speak on) there is little to no pride without the support of kinksters, and it would be a gross disrespect to exclude kink from celebrations.

kink communities are older than myself, and older than a lot of if not all people on this website and, similar to sex workers, have a long standing history of either being a part of the lgbt community or fighting with us. i see no logical or compassionate reason to exclude kink from celebrating pride.

also, from personal experience, ive been attending local pride celebrations since before i can remember; my mom is lgbt and has been taking me and celebrating herself, and weve both marched in pride parades with furry communities due to, again, her and i being a part of them since i was little.

children are safe in these communities. a lot of people will argue otherwise, and i can say from personal experience that i have always been safe in both pride and furry spaces, and at the hint of danger to children, there will be countless people willing to step in and protect them. in the few times there has been concern or danger, i have seen all adults in my life act swiftly to both help the child and get rid of the problem. i am not saying there have been no cases of bad things happening to children, but there is no more risk in these communities than out of them, and quite honestly, people in those communities seem to care more than those outside of them.

i am also a csa survivor, and was abused at a very young age. i was abused by someone who wasnt part of any of the communities previously listed, and i also come from a household thats been open about sexual health, safety, and the act itself. i have known what sex is from at LEAST the age of six, and if i ever had questions, my mom would answer honestly. this did nothing but benefit me, and as such, it is important to me to be as honest as possible and safe with children.

i see no risk to children being aware of sex and kink (OBVIOUSLY VERY FUCKING DIFFERENT THAN PARTICIPATING) and if they are brought up with communities that are open about safe sex and relationships, they will have models for healthy relationships and be more equipped and supported if they end up in unsafe and/or unhealthy relationships.

i bring this up because i see a lot of claims that having kink at pride is unsafe for children and those with sexual trauma and having been at pride events as both of those things, it has been safe for me. also the presence of actually explicit content at pride is laughable. there's plenty of skin exposure, leather pride, etc. but incredibly minuscule amount of actually sexual behavior or discussion beyond off hand comments here and there. i have no idea what people actually take issue with that. actually happens??? because even when i was young it just looked the same to me as cosplay or ren faires. yeah sure i saw more cleavage or collars than the average day but that doesnt really... mean anything, let also cause harm.

im also on the asexual spectrum and have identified with that community for a long time. i have seen arguments against kink at pride for the sake of asexual comfort and, as said before, theres so little actually happening that could be construed as an issue that the argument is stupid. i, again, have been to pride as someone on the ace and aro spectrum and have plenty of friends ive gone to pride with who are also on those spectrums. sometimes people showed more than someone i was with was interested in seeing so they... looked somewhere else. its not deeper than that.

there is no problem with kink at pride. full stop. you will see more corporations and cops than kinksters at pride, and even if it was reversed it literally doesnt matter. look somewhere else if you dont want to see something. if someones being hurt, do what you can to help. and... have fun. basic principles of pride, boom, go wild.

this ask was incredibly vague and i have zero clue who you are or what you could hypothetically be concerned with, so i tried to cover as many bases as possible. sorry if it sounds like im mad at you are something, this is just a question that 99% of the time i see it asked, its in bad faith. im like. not mad i just get frustrated at baseless claims that kink at pride is harmful, and that seems to be heavily associated with this question. if this was genuine, i hope this clears up any questions you have and if it didnt, you can send another ask idrc i love to talk.

also if u do send smn itll probbaly take me a few days im busy LOL i know this was sent on the 1st which is also. a choice to bring this up on the first day of pride but im doing my best to assume this is asked in good faith