FUCK IT WE BALL
under the cut bc it's long af: who could it be?? 👀👀
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There are very few beautiful things in the world, anymore.
(Some, but not many.)
Beauty is, unfortunately, a vanishing art. Everywhere, all around, at every moment the world becomes more and more diseased, more and more dull. The earth turns to rot, the water turns to scum, and beauty is swallowed by oblivion.
It's simply a fact of the universe. Entropy. All things tend towards their own destruction.
You might argue, of course. You might say, of course not! There are plenty of beautiful things out there still - all kinds of places and creatures and objects. There's a whole universe full of things out there! And everyone has different ideas of what's beautiful anyway, so how can you even measure how many beautiful things there are in the world to begin with?
Well then, if you did say that, you would be met with disbelief, probably. A look, incredulous, that tells you don't be stupid, honey. Not all things are beautiful, and there are some things that aren't beautiful to anyone. I ought to know.
You see, there are some very special people who just understand the order of things. Who just feel it, the natural order of the world, the way things are supposed to be. A feeling that can't be taught, but cultivated - a feeling that [????????], himself, is learning at this very moment to know and comprehend.
And because he's one of these precious few, one of those fortunate enough to have been shown the truth, he knows. Humans have always been funny about extinction and the loss of things. Take and take and take until there's almost nothing left, then either praise its survival as a miracle, or grieve its final death as gone too soon. He knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how rare and precious beauty truly is these days. Something reserved only for the most unique, most particular, most wondrous of things.
There is an order in the world, he has learnt. All things that do exist must exist within the laws of the world that allows them to be, and those laws dictate exactly [????????]. In all the world, there can only be one thing that is the most beautiful. Only one thing that stands above the rest, a single prize that puts all else to shame.
Is it any wonder, then, that he holds you so dear?
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my brothers dog is one of those Big Dumb Fast Strong (BDFS) Dogs. sometimes the dog stays at our place. we have a yard and the dog is usually out on lead-line thing, whatever they’re called—basically he’s on a leash but he can still run. ever since my brother got him, i have been worried about this set up, because again, the dog is BDFS and has busted out of his collar more than once. i have expressed my worries but no one did anything. i’m no stranger to that reaction to my worries in general, and over time i have learned that it usually means “you’re overreacting, there’s nothing to worry about here.” except the past ooooh 8 years it has become increasingly clear to me that some of my worries are actually quite legitimate and just because they are ignored by others doesn’t mean that they aren’t an issue!
anyway my brother’s dog ran away today. 😞 i feel so useless. don’t worry we’ve done a whole bunch of the recommended stuff so we’re hopeful he’ll come back, plus he’s microchipped and we’ve got fliers and have alerted various town officials posted on social media etc. i’m just pissed off. at my family, because they didn’t take my worry seriously, but also at myself, because i really need to start trusting my gut instincts about this stuff and push harder.
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i was supposed to get feedback on my lucian paper and conference talk from my professor last week on friday. then on monday she sent an email explaining how it had been more work to do that for everyone than she expected and i and a couple other students would get ours on tuesday or wednesday at the latest, with possibility of final deadline extension. but it’s now thursday and i still haven’t got anything and she hasn’t answered my email about the extension either. and it’s like, ma’am i know you’re busy and i really don’t mind waiting a little longer, but don’t promise me wednesday and then go radio-silent on me. pretty please?
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