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cannedbeefaroni · 1 year

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The Bad Touch (Edward Nashton X Reader) (SMUT MDNI)

Part 2

Summary: You are a social worker at Arkham Asylum. The high profile criminal, The Riddler, is assigned as your patient after he's gone through many failed attempts of treatment. You devise a sinister plan to become the only therapist capable of treating Mr. Nashton.

Content: SMUT 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, MEDICAL MALPRACTISE, MANIPULATION, POWER IMBALANCE (for those reasons, i consider this fic to be DUBCON), Reader and Edward have a bit of a role reversed Harley Quinn and Joker dynamic, Edward is described to struggle with hypersexuality and paraphilias (based on how the reader is described, they also have those issues), handjob, oral sex, exhibitionism (public sex), physical restraints, degradation

Y/N is referred to in second person as you/yours and is written to be entirely gender neutral.

In order to survive in your line of work you have to be at least a little bit insane. Over the many years of being a therapist at Arkham Asylum you’ve felt yourself becoming a dull, emotionally detached person. It was ironic, considering you went into psychology with the goal of helping people. Despite this feeling, you acknowledged that you were probably the least jaded and cruel social worker in the asylum. Your coworkers thought your methods were ineffective and soft, and your bosses didn’t assign you patients as often as you’d hoped. You liked to think of yourself as an understanding and approachable person, but your qualities weren’t appreciated. Things started looking up, though, once you were assigned a patient for the first time in a while. He was the high profile public enemy, The Riddler, AKA Edward Nashton. He’d been institutionalized several months ago upon his arrest, and in that time he’d gone through countless therapists. They all said the same about him, that he was uncooperative and didn’t seem to want help. You were assigned to be his designated therapist as a last resort. You felt prideful despite knowing you weren’t even close to being the first option. You had never gotten to speak with any high profile criminals like Mr. Nashton, and you were excited about it.

You expected to be somewhat intimidated by his presence, but he just seemed to be an incredibly depressed and lonely man. According to the others’ notes, you found out that everything he had done as The Riddler was for the sole purpose of validation and attention. He had been diagnosed with OCD and severe C-PTSD. You had no question as to why he’d become the way he is. He was broken by the world around him, and let it corrupt his mind past the point of return. Before speaking to him, you’d heard so much about him being completely insane and “in another world,” but it was as if you were the only one who truly understood him. During your sessions you couldn’t help but feel empathy for him, which was something you tried very hard not to do. You were able to speak to him, but trying to push his boundaries ever so slightly to talk about him being treated, he’d either go silent or push back hard. He kept saying that he didn’t believe anything in this world could fix him, and that he didn’t want to be “fixed.”

You realized what's hindering his ability to move past all this was crippling loneliness. He had absolutely no family, friends, or acquaintances. You became frustrated knowing that as a therapist, there was no way to help him in that department. Sure, you could encourage him to be more social but beyond that there’s nothing. You had a sinking feeling that in another universe under different circumstances, you could be that person he could lean on. It was wrong to feel that way, and you knew you should’ve passed his case onto a new therapist for that, but you didn’t want to. You needed to prove yourself as capable. You wanted to be the one to get Mr. Nashton to the point of accepting treatment. Medical malpractice was common at Arkham, so you didn’t feel guilty about doing anything it takes to reach your goal.

You’d remember the times he’d lament about how he felt truly unlovable. You paid extra close attention whenever he discussed his past relationships. He only ever had sex once as a young adult, and afterward he became hypersexual, obsessing over the idea of having sex again. He found it impossible to find another partner once that relationship had ended. In order to combat that loneliness, he became voyeuristic, developing obsessions with people, stalking them, and even sometimes going as far as performing sexual acts on himself in public areas. He grew bashful over discussing those feelings, which you knew were natural, but deep in your mind you thought it was cute, but you were too professional to let those feelings surface in your mind. You could tell that him lacking any romantic or sexual partner for so long was one of the significant factors in his depression.

Ever since the topic of sex was brought up in your sessions, you had an idea creeping in your mind. At first it disgusted you, but after much contemplation, you decided that it might just be the only thing that will truly get to him. On the day you decided to carry out your idea, you had already perfectly planned the session out in your mind. It would be efficient and practical, you just needed to make sure no one suspected a thing. You collected an arrangement of items you’d need and concealed them in your pockets. You knew no one else would understand, but you had faith in yourself.

You greeted him in the plain, empty white room you’d become accustomed to. Unlike a typical room used for therapy, there was a table between the two of you, creating a distance. You both sat on quite uncomfortable wooden chairs, and his hands were cuffed behind his back for your safety. There was a tape recorder on the table, which you were sure to be useless, knowing there were much more efficient mics wired throughout the room to record sessions. It was a tool used to either intimidate or comfort patients by either turning it on or turning it off. You never bothered with it. Mr. Nashton sat slumped over as per usual, hanging his head. You looked up at you pensively, as if at this point you’d worn him down to become subservient. You picked up your chair and moved it closer to his, placing yourself in proximity to him in order to connect with him better. You were closer than usual, making him tense.

“So tell me, how are you feeling today, Edward?” you asked in a blank, professional tone.

“I, uh,” he mumbled, voice hoarse as if this was the first time he’d spoken in days. “I guess it’s as good as it gets for me.”

“Which would be bad or good?”

“Probably bad, but I’m not feeling as terrible as usual.” Edward never really looked you in the eyes when talking, but you didn’t take it personally.

“Why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m relieved that I have a better therapist now,” he says quietly as if he was hoping you wouldn’t hear him.

“I’m glad you’re satisfied with our sessions, Edward. I can tell you’ve been opening up more,” you smile, but in a way that looks and feels empty, as if you’re a robot with the sole purpose to act in the correct way.

“I wouldn’t say I’m satisfied,” he grumbles, trying not to sound gracious. “You just aren’t annoying or pushy like the others. And you’re actually nice to me, unlike those other shitty therapists.”

“What can I do to make you satisfied?” your choice of words shock you as you spit them out mechanically. You feel perverted, despite what you just said being quite innocent.

“Nothing, probably.”

You sigh, “look, if you let me, I can try and figure out what works for you. Not everyone needs the same type of care. I’ve been meaning to try out a different approach with you, and I need you to tell me if you want to move forward with it.”

“What is it, exactly?” He raises an eyebrow, clearly apprehensive.

“It’s quite… unorthodox, but if you trust me with this, I really think it’ll be of benefit to you,” you say as you perfectly mask all feelings of embarrassment behind a neutral expression.

“Uhuh,” he says, utterly confused.

“Do you trust that I don’t want to do anything that’ll make you uncomfortable?” you ask.

“I suppose. Yeah.” his voice gets small and quiet.

You take your clipboard, and begin writing. Edward tries to look over at the paper, but before he can get a peak, you already turn it to let him read it.

“You can’t make a sound for this. They can hear us. I’m going to partially undress you. Nod if you want me to do it”

Edward’s eyes widen before he glares up at you. He swallows thickly. For the first time this session, he looks you in the eyes. He sits motionless before slowly nodding his head. Red tints his face as he begins to sweat.

You position your chair so that you’re facing him directly. Your hands begin unbuttoning his jumpsuit swiftly, and you notice his chest rising and falling with his breath rapidly. You can see a bit of his pale, bare torso and underwear underneath. Without wasting any time, you pull down his underwear, exposing his penis. It’s already half erect, and you can’t stop yourself from wondering if he always gets aroused around you. You reach into your pocket and retrieve a small bottle of lubricant, and you squeeze some on your hand before gently placing it on his crotch. Your fingers wrap around the shaft, and he gasps. You shush him, before moving your hand in a jerking motion. You don’t dare to look at his face while doing this, because you don’t want any sort of personal attachment linked to it. You just stare at his erection growing in your hand. His body writhes in his seat, arms squirming in their constraints. You hear him whimper softly, which surprises you. He sounds so unexpectedly sweet. Your other hand goes over his mouth, muffling his noises.

“I need you to take a deep breath.” Your hand stops moving, gripping his hard cock. He’d been breathing so heavily that his glasses were fogging up. He whines against your hand as his body twitches. He relaxes his body a little, calming down.

“Please, please, please-“ he begs in whispers. This process is torturous. Him being so pent up, it’s impossible to stay quiet. His dick twitches as precum leaks from the tip. You feel almost guilty, but you know it’ll be worth it in the long run.

“Do you want to stop?”

“Don’t stop, please,” he whines behind your hand. You really hadn’t considered the possibility of him being this vocal. Not only did it put you at risk of being found out, it was causing you to get needlessly sexually excited. You ignored how uncomfortable your soiled underwear had become, you needed to finish the job.

You tightly held your hand against his mouth as you jerked him off faster. His hips bucked, fucking himself into your fist. So much precum was leaking that it was getting messy. You worried about leaving evidence behind, so you got on your knees in front of him, pushing his legs open, and slipped his dick into your mouth. You lifted your head for a second to whisper, “stay quiet, or I won’t let you finish.”

He wants to cry as he watches you take him so deep in your throat. He bites his lip tightly, holding back any moans. Your head bobs in perfect rhythm, and your tongue wraps around his shaft. You shamefully bring your hand to your crotch, rubbing yourself over your pants as you greedily suck his cock. What would everyone else think? They’d say I’m a desperate whore. Maybe I am. But I’m helping him. I’m the only one who can. He needs me. Your self degradation doesn’t help your case in this being purely “professional.” It’s not your fault he sounds so cute and pathetic while fucking your throat, or that his huge cock is filling your mouth so much that you can barely take it. You forget about your own voice as his tip hits the back of your throat. His hips begin rutting into you rapidly, and suddenly he’s cumming down your throat. You hear the clanking of his handcuffs as his arms strain against them behind his back. You shove him in as deep as possible, swallowing everything he’s got. You can’t help but finish in your pants, as your other hand has been over stimulating your body. You stay in that position for a minute, letting his dick sit in your mouth. You carefully get up and grab tissues from your pocket to clean him up, as well as wipe your mouth. Carefully, you dress him back up, and place your seat on the opposite side of the table, sitting as if nothing happened.

“How was that?” you ask, returning to a robotic voice.

“I wanna do it again,” he says hoarsely, eyes still wide in disbelief.

Part 2

#edward nashton #danonation #danocel #paul dano riddler #dano riddler #the riddler #the batman #paul dano #edward nashton x reader #riddler x reader #riddler smut #edward nashton smut #tw dubcon #tw dubious consent #dub con #tw dub con #minors do not interact #nsft

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ingydar-phan · 3 months

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Happy birthday Dan. I found you at a very, very low point in my life. It’s funny, because that point was only a few months ago. March 3rd. March 3rd. Jesus Christ. I was dealing with severe bullying, depression, hopelessness, isolation, gender dysphoria (i have been out/socially transitioned for like 5 years), and most of all, loneliness. I had a circle of about 3 friends who i talked to regularly, but only 1 i even saw in person more than once per year. Then, two of those 3 people began having relationship issues and were on the verge of breaking up. I felt like i was a bother, a burden to their already existing issues. Every single day I’d walk into school, put my headphones on, and not talk to a single person. I’d read, sleep, listen to music, dissociate, and sleep some more throughout the day just to distract myself from everything. From class, from parents, from the outside, everything. I fully and truly believed everyone besides those 3 people hated me. They found me disgusting, annoying, taking up space, and simply didn’t want me there. I think that is true to an extent, but i don’t like how i was just letting that be how it is. My dad was genuinely hopeless, he told me to just ride it out and if i could try to be just a little bit normal-er, maybe i wouldn’t be ignored by every person every day. That didn’t work. Instead, i decided to do some self work. Or rather, my dad stopped intruding on my free time which allowed me to still be awake and do things i wanted to do in peace. I thought, “Dan and Phil….those two emo guys with the cat whiskers….i have such a vague memory of a friend mentioning them or scrolling across a post of them, who even are they?”. I typed into the YouTube search bar “Dan and Phil”. A gaming channel? Are these people streamers? Oh god (i did not know you were one of us 🏳️‍🌈….or british…..). I watched one video. Now, ACCORDING TO YOUTUBE HISTORY, i somehow watched What Dan And Phil Text Each Other 4 as my first video. Not even the gaming channel, i don’t know how this happened maybe YouTube is lying to me. Whatever. Ok so which ones Dan and which ones Phil? Why do they look SO different? They’re British? I started watching Dan and Phil edits on TikTok. Ok, i know who you are, i get the vibes. Oh, coming out timeline? Gaming channel timeline and hiatus? Reacting to PINOF? On March 13, i watched Basically I’m Gay and Coming Out To You. It took me an entire month from then to watch Why I Quit YouTube. By late April, i was in it. I was watching Dan or Phil every day. Before, during, and/or after school. Since then, I’ve purchased YWGTTN (limited edition signed updated paperback). It was 38 fucking dollars in USD but it was worth it. I also now own TATINOF and DAPGO, one of which is signed by Phil, i bought second hand. So yes, now this is my new thing. But you know what else? I was getting happier. I was going to more concerts. I was doing my schoolwork, or at least trying to. I was reading!!!! I’ve since finished The Secret History. I made a friend; reconnected with an old childhood friend and started eating lunch together and hanging out and having shared trauma dump sessions, and we are so so close now. My two friends broke up, but it’s ok. I’m best friends with one of them and he’s so much better off, and the other and i are still casual friends!! I value them both for the multiple years I’ve known them. I’ve taken family vacations and done religious holidays with genuine care while getting to reconnect with my family. I’ve very passionately finished acting in a musical that I’ve put so much care into for about 5 months. I’m graduating tomorrow!!! And me and my close friend will be going to a concert tomorrow night afterwards, and I’m going to have a great summer where i see my close friend who i haven’t seen IRL since March of 2023. I’m getting closer with my dad and seeing a new therapist. I am having medical problems as of right now, but i would 100% be lying in bed crying and skipping graduation had i not found a reason to enjoy my days.

Did i just take one sentence referencing Dan to write a whole autobiography on tumblr? Yes, but also no. Dan and Phil are real people. They really do rescue pigeons named Steve and getting 10 sauces for their pizza and say hi across the city with binoculars. But they also genuinely have an impact on people, and they see that, and they LIKE to see that. I don’t think Dan will see this post. But I’m making it anyway. For me.

I love Dan so much. I cried twice while watching We’re All Doomed in my kitchen. I have actively watched Dan and Phil videos while crying at school. Once, in my bedroom, i was having a panic attack. I had an overwhelming rush of thoughts around 10 or 11 at night about how worthless i am and how terrible everything was going. I opened my tiktok, and there was THE edit that saved me. It was a video of fetus Dan on YouNow talking about his dream home. And then it was cutting back and forth to the Phouse. Then, Dans hopeful monologue in Basically I’m Gay. Finally, Dans hopeful monologue in We’re All Doomed. All of this in a softly shaky screen with sad music behind it. I cried a lot. This aspect of my life means so much to me. I think about the Halloween 2023 baking video at least 5 times a day (and sister Daniel’s….uhm….legs…). I am still so mad i did not buy the satanic Craft shirts. I just rewatched Dans interview last year with Anthony Padilla just because of how goddamn much I’m obsessed with that angle of Dan with his cute chin and cheeks and fucking dimple. I think about Dans bluntness in his defined-self and truly feel inspired to be like him. I look at his change over the years, his comfortability in his body, seeing that his face and neck are shaped like my face and neck, and he’s fucking beautiful. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in my weight if not for Dan Howell, and i mean that so insanely sincerely. I read Dans book whenever I’m feeling hopeless and need a soft sexy British man to tell me the scientific reasoning behind why i feel this way and to assure me he’s felt worse. I’m so serious when i say i cannot imagine a day of my life without Dan and Phil. I truly don’t understand how i lived before or how I’d expect to live without it. “Live”, in the sense of find a way of life, not as in “stay alive.” I can’t imagine a day without those big brown boba eyes and that cute dimple and mainly that calming voice that reminds me someone else has felt this way. That reminds me love is possible. That reminds me i have so much ahead of me, so much life and love and joy.

Phil’s birthday stream may be my favorite piece of Dan and Phil media, or at least one of them. I find it so comforting and wholesome and beautiful and hilarious. I have such high hopes for Dans birthday stream. Until then, I’ll be working on my long-awaited (still very very unfinished) 2009!Dan and Phil art piece within my art initiative (pinned on my profile) (just for funsies, no money or anything involved). I’m going to sit there at 3pm (my time) and watch with a huge smile on my face to see my amazing dads spend the time of their lives being sexy and old and happy and disgustingly homosexual while i just embrace all you’ve done for me.

Happy birthday Dan

@danielhowell

#dan and phil #daniel howell #dan howell #phan #amazingphil #dnp #dan and phil games #dans birthday #happy birthday #dnpgames #d&p #phil lester

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just-a-carrot · 5 months

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okookookkokoko WHERE DO I EVEN START. I LOVE THIS GAME SM SMH BUT I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPLAINING STUFF SO TAKE THIS SHORT PASSAGE. (Most of this will be an unorganized ramble btw)

(SPOILER WARNING FOR MOST ARCS)

I played T2A2G and OC before this so um. Guess which route I did lmao. SPEAKING OF ROUTES, GENZOU GENZOU GEZNOU GEZNOU GEZNOU OMG GENZOU. I RELATE TO THIS MAN IN WAYS I DID NOT KNOW I COULD RELATE TO A CHARACTER. LIKE WTH?? HE HAS SUCH A TRANSPARENT CLOSET LOL. And also speaking of Genzou I do have a few questions related to him

-Is Genzou fully blind? I don't think he is bc of his cane but I heard it's different in some countries so idk

-We learn Genzou is (supposedly) taking antidepressants in Arc 2. Is he clinically depressed? (According to the Visual Noval Database he is anyways but idk)

-HOW TF DOES HE DEAL WITH BEING CANNIBALIZED TWICE LIKE DAMN..I WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN NO MATTER WHO I'M WITH??

-Did Genzou's friends ever like assume that he was gay?? Or like did he tell anyone?? Or did he try his best to hide it lmao

-Did anyone think/know that Gen had a crush on Iggy??

-GENZOU WITHOUT HIS HAT <333

I love Genzou sm if you couldn't tell already /p

ARC 3 CONFUSED ME SM LOL. I thought that I had accidently switched routes (even though I hadn't even made my LI choice, I ofc didn't know this atm though) from Genzou to Orlam and I was fr so confused like waht. Also like I feel so bad for Orlam wth </3.

HUMAN JERRY.

OO ALSO SOME MORE THINGS

-During some parts (mostly during arcs 3/4) I HAD TO PLAY A RELAXING PLAYLISTS BECASE I FELT OVERWHELMED/ANXIOUS/IDEK?? AND AT SOME POINT I JS GAVE UP AND STATED PLAYING HYPERCORE LMAO

-I LOV ELOVE LOVE THE WAY THAT THE NEUTRAL ENDING COLLIDES(???) WITH OC LIEK WHATWHDWATDHFWHWFTHAFG. IDK BUT FOR ME IT MAKES ME FEEL LIEK IT'S THE MORE "CANON" ENDING EVEN THOUGH THERE IS (probably) NO CANON ENDING.

-I IMMEDIATELY WENT TO THE GALLERY LIEK OMG??

-Some of my favorite liens in the game were the homicidal gardener lines (both referring to Iggs and Gen), when Gen was arguing with Jerry, When Genzou was telling iggs during the Arc 5 Kiddie Cruise scene that it shoudn't be a choice like I WAS GONNA CHOOSE DONT JUMP JS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS LOL

-I also relate a lot to Iggy in some forms

-GIDGET.

-I took a total of 260 screenshots of this game (as of now heheh)

UM YH THATS ALL SORRY IF IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND OR TOO ENERGETIC BUT I TRULY LOVE THIS GAME SM. Ima go replay OC again byes <3 :3 BEST REGARDS ILYSM /p

KDFJLADFA this message is so chaotic, i love it

first off, i'm really happy you like the game (and genzou) weep. thank you so much for all the kind words 😭💕 i'm also always super intrigued to see where/how ppl came into the game, so hearing you played T2A2G and OC first is very interesting to me lakdjfkdjfa

regarding your questions:

yes he is; i do think he sees a bit of light/shadow (which is different to an answer i gave some time ago, but i've been thinking about it since) but that's about it; it's a result of traumatic optic neuropathy

yes he is; he's been on meds and seeing a therapist for a while

i cannot answer this question LOL 🤣 i also don't know. i guess the only answer is that he has no choice

mmm... he never outright told anyone in the friend group. tbh he doesn't outright tell many people, mostly as he's just a bit of a private person in that regard and keeps to himself outside of attempting dating apps every now and then. i would not say he actively attempted to hide it though aside from around iggy. as for other people assuming i think it was something many of them did kinda realize but never said anything also

similar here, i think some of them kinda knew. i think gidget knew, even if they kinda ignored it, because it prompted their jealousy on a few occasions. i think orlam had a bit of a guess but it wasn't really confirmed until later

LDKAJFSLDKFA THAT'S NOT A QUESTION

LOL about the routes. indeed, if you don't realize that actually all the "routes" are mandatory parts of the story until the finale then it can be confusing if you thought you were going for a specific char early on or something 🤣 it's not like the games where you can pick your route and then the rest of the game is that route

hahaha yeah i wouldn't say there's a "canon" ending. for one, i feel like that would kinda defeat the point of having different possibilities to begin with. why make other choices if there's only ever one canon ending? i want people to be able to choose however they want the story to end. i mostly connected the neutral ending to OC as a sort of self-indulgent gift to myself, because i thought it would be very sweet if iggy would still have a chance to find companionship with one of his friends later on even if he chose to focus on himself first. like that it just keeps it open. i also just thought it'd be a fun easter egg to give ppl more incentive to at least try the neutral route as i figure most ppl would not choose that route as it's kinda short compared to the others and doesn't give as much closure to the other chars

260 SCREENSHOTS LDKJFASDLFA

sob thank you for this lovely message!! it was really fun answering your questions hahaha and i'm really glad you liked the game so much!! it means a lot!! 💕

#ow: finale spoilers #ask: ow #ask: genzou

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garfield420 · 6 months

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Lost Time (Part One)

Midoriya Izuku x Reader

AN: wanted to make a small fic inspired by a dream i had a some time ago that i can't get off my mind

It had been three years since Midoriya Izuku passed, and since then you had never dared step foot inside that house. Things would change however when you receive a certain request from the boys mother asking you to house-sit while she was in the hospital. You couldn't refuse her.

warnings: angst, noquirkau, ghosts, slight yandere in a later part, implied suicide, bullying mention, definitely ooc but idc, also not proof read but idc

You got out of your car, taking in the fresh air and the view of cloudy Fall. The orange and brown colors ordain the yard of the house you're staring at as you feel an emotional sensation twirl in your stomach. It's been some time since you've been here, given the last time you were inside that home your childhood friend was still alive. He was more than a friend to you, but you always found it easier to describe him as a your friend as opposed to a 'highschool sweetheart' given the short time you two held with each other.

You continuously stare at the house, knowing full well you'll have to go in soon. You came back to the area recently to help Inko, Izuku's mom, with housesitting while she was away sick, she was recently hospitalized and so she needed someone to housesit in the meantime. You two bonded well after his death, finding solace in being with someone who also carried that unforgettable burden on the heart.

You sighed before going to the back of your car to open the trunk revealing a black luggage case that had all your clothes and belongings in it. You were supposedly staying for a few days until Inko recovered enough to be released so you packed enough clothes to last you for about 3 days. You grabbed your luggage out the trunk and closed the trunk before bringing it to the front of the door.

According to Inko she mentioned that she would be leaving a key behind one of the potted plants, which enough quick searching you find it soon enough. Taking the key you unlock the door and open it. As you step inside you take in the familiar but now distant view of the house, you can't tell if it's the grief or the nostalgia that's making the house look less vibrant and joyful it used to be. The pang you feel in your gut as you stand at the doorway is one you were half-heartedly expecting, but were hoping to avoid. You look at the walls and notice the lack of pictures there used to be when you were younger as you recall a conversation she had with you where she mentioned her therapist recommended she make photo albums instead to help handle the grief better.

You close the door and stand there for a moment, you recall bittersweet memories of Izuku and you when you were kids.

(

Izuku and you sat in front of the TV playing games, a bit too close for Inko's taste but she let you both just enjoy the day. Your mom dropped you off since she had other things to tend to that day, and found it better to let you play with your friend than to hand you off to some random babysitter.

You were playing some kind of racer game, the name that's been lost to you, and you two were taking turns to play it together since Izuku only had one controller. You both were aiming to get first place since the spot had eluded the both of you so far, yet the closest you both seemed to get to was second place.

Izuku sputtered out some noises, once again landing in second place, "The game has to be cheating! This isn't fair...!" he said with a flair of frustration. You reached over to grab the controller, and he reluctantly handed it to you with a pout, as he wanted to go again. You noticed this and a grand idea had popped into your mind.

"Why don't we share? I take this side of the controller and you take the other." You proposed the idea, figuring that maybe if you two put your best skills together in the game that you both can get first. Izuku face changed as he began to think about the offer, before turning to a smile.

"Okay, I'll take the left side of the controller and you get the right, does that sound good?" He offered, as you nodded with a smile. You moved in close to sit right next to Izuku, you both flush next to each other. He froze for a moment, surprised by the contact, but regained himself and you both split the controller. It was awkward handling the controller but you both got used to it. Next thing you know...

"We did it!!!" You cheered, both your faces brimming with elation. Izuku hugged you in joy and you hugged him back. Your face felt warm and you were happy.

You were happy.

)

Tears welled at your eyes as you breathe in the painful nostalgia, you know you should be happy about the time you two got to spend together but another part laments what could have been. Where would you be now if two different strands of fate melded into each other? Would you be happier? Or would you still be as miserable as you feel now?

Your internal ruminations are halted by your stomach growling, realizing that you didn't eat when you left this morning for the four hour drive here. You recalled Inko told you she had some leftovers and other food in the fridge you could help yourself to. You wipe your eyes of the small beads that collected in the corners of your eyes. You recall where the kitchen was and leave your luggage by the front door since you want to eat before you unpack.

She offered to pay for your stay, but you declined since you figured it had been some time since you left this place for schooling. After Izuku's passing, you wrote this entire city off in act of resentment. The only good thing around here is your family and Inko, who you cherish like family. To you, she is the kindest woman you have ever known, and the least deserving of what had happened. She felt bad about you staying since she knew how you felt about everything surrounding his death. You two had met up occasionally for lunch in that time following, you even jokingly refer to her as your second mom since she practically co-raised you when you were young.

Entering the kitchen, you hit the lights in the kitchen, deciding the grey ambience from outside was too much for your worn heart to handle. Warm lights grace you and your mood immediately eases, funny how light can alter your mood so much. You beeline for the fridge, beginning to feel the crushing hunger on you. You grab the first thing of left overs that catches your eye and place it on the counter. Before you go to close the fridge door you feel a strong cold sensation in front of you that sends shivers down your back. You blink for a moment before writing the cold off as coming from the fridge.

You close the fridge and go to nuke the leftovers in the microwave, feeling the sudden exhaustion of the long drive. Realizing you hadn't even taken your coat off, you do so quickly and toss it on one of the vacant chairs in the kitchen. You rub your face and stretch to try and put a little bit more energy into yourself, finding no success in the matter. You yawn as you go back to stare at your food rotating in the microwave, feeling the slowness of time.

Suddenly the sounds of a soft guitar fill the room, as your phone begins ringing. You pull your phone out of your pocket and instantly recognize the caller ID, you waste no time picking up. Setting the phone to speaker phone and placing it on the counter, you answer.

"Hey, Mom Two!" you respond in a cheerful tone.

"Hello, (Y/N)." she responds in a happy but groggy fashion, reminding you again that she's in the hospital.

"How's everything going on with you at the hospital? Nothing too bad I hope."

"Oh I'll be fine I'm sure, the doctor's just want to run a few tests and make sure I'm well and rested up."

You smile as the microwave goes off, you ignore it in favor of the conversation.

"That's good at least, last thing we need you rushing out of the hospital and breaking a hip!" You joke as she laughs in return.

"Hey, I'm that old! You never know, once I'm all healed up I might be more spry than you!" She joked in return as you chuckled. "Did you make it to the house?" She asked, as you feel your smile begin to drop.

"Oh yeah, just got here in fact. I haven't unpacked yet though. How long do you think you'll be in the hospital anyways." You respond in a false cheery tone, hoping to change the conversation. This doesn't go completely unnoticed by Inko.

"Doctor's estimated in three days, hopefully I'll get discharged in two." There's a short silence before Inko follows up with a question. "How's the house? I know it's been a while since you've been inside so I want to make sure you're fine." She said with a slight concern for you in her voice. You wanted to run from the conversation, you weren't ready to talk about this yet.

"Oh it's fine. Actually Inko, I just heated some food up and I'm really tired and I also have to unpack, so how about I call you later tonight or tomorrow?" You quickly try to dodge the conversation, this also doesn't go unnoticed by Inko.

"Alright... but if you have any issues call me, okay? And if you need to leave I completely understand, just let me know okay?"

"Yes Inko, I'll call you later." You hang up the phone, and swallow your emotions. You'll have to apologize to her later, but talking about it will just bring out a lot that you're not ready for.

You grab your leftovers and take them with you to the couch. You're sure you'd be scolded for this but you need to sit down and relax, in front of you sits the living room TV and a coffee table littered with miscellaneous trinkets. You reach for the remote to turn the TV on to fill the silence in the room with something other than your thoughts.

You flip over to some random trashy reality TV, you didn't care what it was, as long as it drowned your thoughts in a lake of silence. You shove a mouthful of food into you as you barely focus on the uninspired drivel displayed in front of you. You take delight in the food, you'll definitely have to send your regards to Inko when she comes back. She was always a good cook, although you'd never say it, you sometimes felt she was an even better cook then your mother.

(

"Ms. Midoriya, what foods does Izuku like?" You asked, looking up at Inko.

"Why do you ask?" Inko asked, a glimmer of curiosity shining in her eyes. You shuffle awkwardly, thinking of a way to explain away your intentions. You and Izuku had just started middle school, and you don't want to lie to her about your intentions, but you're not sure if it's your place you talk about it.

"Just curious is all." You lied, feeling light guilt burden itself on your shoulders. You wanted her to know, but you didn't know if it was appropriate to tell her. You merely swallow your feelings on the matter.

Inko looks at you for a moment, taking notice of your awkward demeanor and the way you're having difficulty looking at her.

"Izuku really likes Katsudon." She responded with a comforting smile, you felt relieved she wasn't going to grill you for more details. You didn't know if it was okay to tell her kids at school were bullying Izuku and destroying his lunches. You felt bad for him, and you wanted to help him by making him lunches, that way he could still eat. He'd never ask for help, he was always worried about burdening others with his problems.

"How do you make katsudon? Can you teach me?" Determined to help Izuku any way you could, you decided this could be the best method without making him feel like he's a burden on you. Inko nodded. and that day you learn how to cook Izuku's favorite food.

)

You quickly scarf the food down as your stomach reminds you why you're eating in the first place, and once you finish you lazily place the leftovers on the coffee table before you. You try to focus your attention to the TV, trying to ignore the fact of your situation and that you still need to unpack, but you fail miserably. All you could think about was when you two were younger and the innocent bliss that came with it.

Your eyes began to tear up.

You felt a strong pit in your throat, rife with emotion. You couldn't hold it in anymore. You choked out a small sob as you covered your face with your hands, breaking down from the grief. You felt the swirling emotions of anger, a sense of loss, loneliness, and most importantly; sadness.

It wasn't fair! Izuku was the kindest boy you ever knew, so why him? Why was he the punching bag for all the other kids? No reasonable conclusion could come to your mind other than all the other kids were awful, reminding you of the vitriol you felt when he died. You remember screaming in anger, threatening to beat up the other kids, you cursed them; hoping one day they'll be forced to feel the grief they made you endure. One thought popped out the most, the one that hurt and broke you the most;

Why weren't you enough to convince him to stay?

You let out a loud sob as you curl inwards to the couch, wishing you were being comforted. For the past three years you've been forced to face that gnawing emptiness as you try to deny it's existence in you, some days you find peace with it; and then there are days like today. You cried into the couch cushions for some time trying to find some comforting solution to your suffering; only leaving you with cuts on your fingers tugging at empty fishing lines from a lake of grief.

Soon enough you felt yourself grow tired from all the weeping, calming down as you lay on the couch. You felt another cold sensation hit you, and you cuddle further into a couch, too heartbroken to fetch a blanket. You close your eyes, and feel the overwhelming exhaustion hit you again. You can wait on unpacking your luggage, you wanted- no, needed rest. This can all wait for tonight, as you just want your brain to be silent for a moment.

Thus in that moment, you felt yourself drift off into a sleep, unaware of the other presence lurking in the house.

#garf writes #bnha #mha #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #angst #tw: suicide #suicide mention #tw: bullying #bullying mention #ghosts #not proofread we die like proud soldiers in battle #if im missing any tags please lmk #i mostly wanted to get this out tonight since it's been somewhat sitting in my drafts for a bit #also people are welcome with playing with my ideas #i like seeing what people make with my ideas since im not a great writer #dark

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simpingforsimjake · 2 months

Text

The Guilty Defence - Chapter Three

Warning: slight mention of insomnia and PTSD.

Y/N knocks on the door and quickly adjusts her blazer before hearing a 'come in' from Jay and steps inside.

Jay was like your typical boss: tall, handsome, neatly suited up outfit with his hair brushed up and sleeves to his elbows. Anyone could've swoon for him. As he sees the door open, he glances at Y/N and smiles,

"Ah, you're here. I knew you would come as soon as I called you Prosecutor Y/N~" he says in a friendly way before standing up and gestures to the sofa. "Come, have a seat."

Y/N chuckles before going over to sit down.

"Thanks Jay. So, who confessed? Who did the hit-and-run this morning?" she asked while drinking some water.

Jay cleared his throat and sat down, an uneasy look on his face.

"Do you remember the double homicide case back in 2013 and then the drug induced driving in 2019? The one by Johnny Martinez?"

Y/N almost choked on her water and widens her eyes.

"J-Johnny- you being serious? He just got out of prison a few years ago-" she replied before quickly scrambling for the documents and looked through the information.

"Yes, that Johnny. He was well behaved in prison...I wonder why he suddenly did a hit-and-run. Anyway, the evidence seemed very clear that he did it. However, there's something a bit fishy...the car registration number doesn't match with the name."

Y/N looks at the picture of the car, and then back at the document.

"Don't worry Jay, I'll be adding this to the case. But since Jake is a lawyer, could he interrogate him tomorrow? I got an appointment with my therapist."

"With Gyuvin? Yeah, that's fine, just let Jake know." he replied.

___________________

"Gyuvin~ it's been a while~" Y/N smiles while walking into the room and hugs him.

"Y/N~ how have you been? How's work going?" He asks while sitting down and pulls up her medical records.

"Tiring, long, stressful to the point that I think I'm gonna get bald...how's mum doing?"

"She's doing good, just that she misses you. Anyway, how's your...insomnia and PTSD..?"

"Not that good...? I don't know, I need more medication, can you prescribe me some?"

"Sure," he said before starting to type on the computer and stands up to get the medications.

"I hope I can visit you and mum one day...work is hectic. Oh yeah, have you heard about the hit-and-run case? Apparently the convict is Johnny Martinez, not Kim Seongkyu."

"What- you mean that guy who did the double homicide and drug induced driving?" he said in shock while passing the medications to her.

"Mhm, Jake is doing the interrogation...I wonder how it's going."

"I bet its going fine."

_________________

Johnny just grumbled in his seat, mumbling incoherent words to himself before hearing the door open and sees Jake walk in with a pile of documents on top of his laptop before sitting down and sighs.

"Johnny Martinez. We meet again I see," Jake says while opening the laptop and glances at him in a way to keep his mouth shut from the threat before clearing his throat.

"So, you're confessing that you did the hit-and-run case that happened a few days ago instead of Mr. Kim?" he says while pulling out some pictures and CCTV footages.

"Yes, it was me...so what?" Johnny says while relaxing back on his chair as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Then, can you explain to me why the car registration number doesn't match with your documents?"

Johnny sighs before replying,

"I borrowed a friend's car, and he had insurance so I was able to use it."

"So, just because you borrowed your friend's car, you decided to do a hit-and-run and caused a murder? You do realise that you could go to prison for up to five years according to Article 5, Section 3 of the Act of Aggravated Punishment? Maybe even more depending on other crimes we might find on you..." Jake says while raising an eyebrow at him.

Johnny sighs, annoyance evident on his face.

"Oh really? What if I tell you that I also killed Y/N's father a few years ago?" he says with a teasing grin on his face.

Jake suddenly tenses up, before glaring at him and then turns around towards the mirrors.

"Can you stop recording for a second?"

He then turns back to Johnny with a deathly stare.

"You idiot, don't mention a word about that here. Anyone could eavesdrop and I would be indicted from my job." Jake mumbles, irritation clearly shown in his tone of voice.

Johnny then chuckled before leaning close to him and whispers in his ear.

"I still have the knife you used hidden somewhere with your DNA on it. If you want to get away with it, then give me a less harsh sentence. I'm clearly innocent."

Jake then looked at him in disbelief before hitting his fist on the table pissed off and sighs.

"That wasn't me stop making up lies. But fine. I'll see what I can do."

_______________

Thanks for reading this chapter~

#enhypen #ennypen fanfictions #enhypen imagines #enha x reader #sim jaeyun #sim jake #crime

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angelo-the-doctor-of-feelings · 1 year

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hi! i heard youre good with the whole shebang of feelings. so ive come to you for some advice, which you dont need to respond to if you dont want to. [also maybe tw? im not sure]

i forced myself to see some extremely distressing imagery three years ago. ever since then, I've had issues with it. it'll just pop up in my brain and not go away, and it causes me to have an anxiety attack typically, until i scribble it down hastily. is this a normal reaction to extremely disturbing images?? or could it be a sign of a bigger issue presenting itself to me as this??

thanks for any insight!

-R

Hello, R! 🧡

Forcing yourself to see these imagines doesn't sound like a good idea! Why did you do that?

From my experience, I still have nightmares from what happened a few years ago, which is a trauma response.

Yours could be a trauma response too, but I cannot tell with this little information. It doesn't have to be though. If it's fear related, then you might be afraid of the imagery & therefore your anxiety returns to you.

Trauma is an emotional or physical response to one or more physically harmful or life threatening events or circumstances with lasting adverse effects on your mental and physical well-being, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA).

This could be an event you’ve personally experienced, witnessed happening to someone else, heard about happening to a close loved one, or heard about through your job (e.g., first responder, social worker, therapist).

Seeing something incredibly threatening counts as well.

Your description of these images recurring to you frequently could stem from a trauma response, which could be clinically significant (such as PTSD & other conditions that fall under 'trauma and stressor-related disorders'). It doesn't have to, though, it could be something else:

Here is the definition of trauma in the DSM-5 which is required for diagnosing PTSD:

It requires “actual or threatened de4th, serious injury, or [other*] violence” (p. 271). Stressful events not involving an immediate threat to life or physical injury such as psychosocial stressors (e.g., divorce or job loss) are not considered trauma in this definition.

* I didn't feel comfortable with typing that one out, but I think we all know what that might be

In the DSM-4, your response to a traumatic event was factored into the diagnosis, namely whether you felt overwhelming fear, helplessness, or horror. In the DSM-5, this criterion was removed because many felt it’s such a common symptom that it can’t accurately predict whether you’ll develop PTSD.

So, I other words, it could be NOT clinically significant today.

I do want you to know that your individual experiences is valid!

✨️ Have a warm hug & some turtle taps on your head! ✨️

I hope Dr. Feelings was able to help out a bit! 🧡✨️

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holyshit · 2 years

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Hi, so... If you excuse me, I would like an "am I the asshole" opinion about something and since I don't have anyone to talk about it, the cool tumblr account I follow seems to be a good option.

(You can ignore me ,and I totally understand if u don't wanna answer this, since is not related to any content on your blog.)

So here is a "quick" resume

I'm being best friend with this person for 5-6 years, and we were really close, just easy to be around each other and stuff...

But the thing is, in the last 3 years, if I'm not misunderstood my whole life, we've being getting a little bit more close than any type of friends. Thing that I only noticed very late bc we're both girls and I never had a best friend before, even though - i might mention - I'm on 20s and so is she.

But since I did notice that, I start to get feelings for her, imagining how good we could be as a couple since we're amazing as friends, and I was in my romance shows obsession time, so this might have helped.

I didn't tell her and obviously didn't do anything about it out of sheer self-preservation. What I did was start to be as she usually is with touching (I'm not this person im general, but she was like a exception) and hope for the best.

I think she noticed bc we get even more close without any real move, specially because I think we're both on the same page about don't mess up what we already had

I have to say before next paragraph, she knows me, I know her, we're both bi and loud about it, we have queer friends, this is not the case of closeting.

About a time ago, she started to take some steps back, but like without even pretending she wasn't, and I was ok w that bc she doesn't have to do nothing, no obligation of hugging me or keeping hanging out once a fortnight, but this really came out of nowhere.

I said she was acting weird so this make her noticed how abrupt was the change and back to normal a little. Not even a month after, she started dating this guy that also came out of nowhere, from her job and that according to her, already had a interest in her.

And now they are this cool couple that everyone says how good they look together, when she talks about him for me I can see she really likes him, and honestly I'm not gonna enter in the 'broken heart' topic because, yeah I was deep in love with her, but I cry about it with my therapist, I'm here for the things she can't say and apparently I have to figure it out by myself. So I acted normally, met the guy and stuff, he kind of got into the group and he is ok.

We don't hanging that much now because he takes priority - which, again, I understand. And also I got a promotion that makes me travel more than before. - But when we do happened to meet, she now acts a little bit like we used to do when both of us were on that bubble of illusion on a weird friendship that made me listen to Ed Sheeran, which is ridiculous because I swore I would never be this person. It makes me really sad how much I wanna be with her but I can't. She's always saying we should do the things we used to without be specific and seems to take a step back every time she noticed we are too close like she is in conflict or maybe I'm just crazy trying to see something for some hope

I got it, I lost my chance. But now we're getting on the end and I hope you have a answer for that bc I'm sad again resuming lots of years and feelings in some paragraphs

The problem is: she's having a birthday party that she's planning for ages since she consider 25 very important. And the guy was planing some romantic shit for her and asked for my help. I did help to prepare everything because I really have nothing against him and it's not his fault I'm dreaming about his girl or whatever, but I know exactly what he's gona do and I can not, I really can't

So I said to her I couldn't go to her birthday because I have a very important travel on work. I thought was a easy way because she knows how much I love this job. She asked me if I could have a talk with my boss, and make someone else to take my place, and I said I will try to reallocate things until the last minute. But I'm actually planing say on the last minute it wasn't possible and maybe get some ice cream on the day, since my fucked life sounds like it's being written by a 13yo

So, I'm a big asshole for lie to her not going to the birthday party to see her boyfriend proposal?

I really think I'm just trying not get more hurt but the days are passing and she's always asking me for updates about me going to the party and I'm feeling bad now. Idk

I don't wanna be the person who's in the corner with that kind of face or even drunk because I am, or used to be, her best friend, and we never fight or something, I should be happy for her on this day. But I also don't wanna be the person who skip this moment when and if I get over this feeling some day and regret for not be present on the birthday she's excited for since we've meet.

I'm just very stressed now and would help another point of view bc all my other friends would never believe I was talking about someone different and also I would mess the surprise that I think only me and the guy know about. So I hope this is not something super weird to sent, I'm really really sorry if is.

hi love! finally have a chance to write a proper response!

i'm sorry you're going through this, first of all :/. i feel like there are so often these kinds of "missed connection" type relationships for gay people either due to being in the closet/in denial about your sexuality (not in your case, just in general) and either not fully realizing your feelings for a friend or being too scared to act on them, and/or from these kinds of friendships that seem to be a little bit more than friends but there's still always the uncertainty of whether the other person just views it as a friendship and the fear of fucking up the friendship if you make an advance and they actually weren't into you... it's not as cut and dry than it often is with dudes where the flirting can be more obvious. i've definitely had multiple painful friendships in my teens where i was clearly in love with them but never made a move due to my being in denial, and it's sad to think about how those relationships really could have worked out if i didn't have that fear. and falling for a best friend is sadly a pain a lot of us have felt ksdjnsk it's fucking ROUGH and i'm sorry you have to work through that right now :(

so in my perspective based on what you’ve said, it does sound like she might have pulled back initially because she had already met that guy at work and was possibly in a talking phase with him and didn't want to be disrespectful, which implies that she did consider you guys' friendship to be veering into non-platonic territory and was happy with that until someone else came into the picture. although it’s painful to have missed a shot, it can also be comforting to know that she might have felt the same way and it wasn’t all in your mind, that there were feelings on both sides. and i can imagine her wanting to initiate it again and pulling back over and over might be from some kind of lack of closure in your friendship on that level... which is another aspect to these kind of more-than-friends-but-friends kind of relationships- there’s not often a big blow-up breakup of any sort, so you’re left with this feeling of what could have been that can stick in your brain for a long time. and it sucks because you can’t reasonably get the normal closure because it’s hard to really talk about when nothing officially happened, especially if the person is now in a relationship since you don’t want to throw a wrench in their relationship either.

i have mixed feelings about how you should handle the party situation... i do think going to the party, although painful, could help in getting closer to closure for you. you can’t pin all your hopes on them breaking up at some point and getting that chance to pursue something with her, as then you’ll be in misery for much longer than you deserve while playing a waiting game that might not result in anything, so i do think it’s important to your overall healing that you reach some form of closure, and seeing something like that could be a painful but needed step forward to make it seem more “real” in your mind to help you move on. but at the same time, if you think you’re not going to be able conceal your feelings about it and you think it might start a fight, it might not be worth it. in your situation i probably would be very tempted to skip it, especially because i wouldn’t want to put a cloud over a day i know is very important to her, although that could be the case whether you decide to go and end up getting upset, or if you don’t go, so it seems like a double-edged sword either way. i do think, in the longterm, the decision to go to the party would probably be better overall for the reasons i already said and because like you said, you might regret it in the future. but, if you do decide to skip the party because you don’t think you’ll be able to handle it (and i would totallyyyy understand if you did), i would suggest planning something special for you and her to do on a different day around the same time, as that is a good way to show that you care and that you recognize how important her 25th is to her.

sending you a massive hug!!! your pain will ease with time, i am sure of it, but i can’t imagine how awful you’re feeling right now and i sympathize with you greatly :(. i’ve been there, and it’s so so rough.

#asks #anonymous

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spaciousreasoning · 1 month

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Following Up

Wednesday morning’s blood sugar was down a little bit more to 233. We had oatmeal for the morning meal once again. Then I spent a little more time doing work for a client. It should pay for my coffee tomorrow.

Nancy spent a few minutes talking with our financial advisers about her Chase Bank account and the monthly fee being charged since we paid off the mortgage. She had planned to cancel the Chase account, but the loan for our new Subaru is through Chase. It was a special low interest rate, so finding another loan might mean an increase in payments. We might need to simply drop a big chunk of change in the Chase account until the car loan is paid off in six or seven years. No telling where we might be at that point in our lives.

Nancy also had an afternoon appointment for massage with the same person who works on her daughter and son-in-law. She really liked the treatment, so I might schedule my own massage with the same therapist.

While waiting for Nancy to get her massage, I paid a visit to the Subaru dealer nearby to ask about the “warnings” that have popped up lately when we start the car. They say it’s time to change the oil and oil filter and get a maintenance check. According to the dealership, we won’t need an oil change until we’ve put 6,000 miles on the car or six months have passed. We’re not quite to 3,000 miles yet, so the mileage will more likely be the deciding factor. Unless the little warnings are trying to tell us something else.

The two agents I had hoped to speak with weren’t available, but I did get pointed to the car wash run by the same car sales family. It was more or less around the corner from the Subaru dealership, but when I arrived there was an enormous line of cars waiting to be washed. I did not wait.

I returned to Valley River Center to wander about until time to pick up Nancy. Like a lot of malls these days, there was not a lot of activity. The food court area was sparsely populated, though at 3 p.m. that might not have been unusual. And walking the rest of the mall I also encountered very few customers.

When Nancy was done, we paid a visit to Trader Joe’s to pick up about a dozen items on our grocery list, then headed home for a nap. Nancy got up before I did, and when I finally wandered back into the kitchen to see what the noise was about, she had already put together a salad and the fettuccine Alfredo was simmering on the stove.

After dinner we finished compiling the recyclables for Thursday’s pickup and put them and the trash on the curb. Then we went for a walk around the neighborhood at about 7 p.m. The temperature had already dropped to 80 degrees by then, but the light breeze made it feel much cooler.

We met a neighbor along the route. She was out mowing her lawn, and Nancy wanted to know what she had done to create such a green landscape. We chatted about that and other features of Oregon life for several minutes before continuing our walk.

It was exactly one year ago when we came to Oregon to visit Nancy’s family. The day we arrived the high temperature was 101 degrees and there was heavy smoke around from all the nearby fires. The heat and smoke dissipated within the first week, and the remainder of our visit was quite enjoyable.

But we did not have any thoughts at that time of moving here. Not until the heat we returned to in Tucson continued well into October did we consider a move. When we did, of course, Oregon was the primary location, mainly due to all the family in the state.

#oregon #life #massage #weather #relocation

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olko71 · 10 months

Text

New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on https://yaroreviews.info/2023/12/smile-direct-club-customers-gutted-and-left-in-lurch

Smile Direct Club customers 'gutted' and 'left in lurch'

Chantelle Jones

By Lora Jones

Business reporter, BBC News

Customers of Smile Direct Club have told the BBC how they feel “left in the lurch”, “outraged” and “gutted” after the remote dentistry firm shut down.

Chantelle Jones, 32, paid a total of £1,800 to straighten her teeth before her wedding next year. While her top teeth had aligned, she was waiting for new moulds for her bottom teeth.

“I’m not sure if I’m going to get any money back,” she said.

Dentists have also expressed “great concern” for stranded patients.

Late on Friday, it emerged that a last-minute rescue attempt for Smile Direct Club had failed as the company was weighed down by debt.

“I found out in a TikTok video that they’d gone bankrupt. I think it’s an absolute disgrace how they have treated customers,” says Chantelle from Churchdown in Gloucestershire.

“The worst thing about it is… the app has not closed down but when I click on the chat button it’s not there. They seem completely uncontactable and I’m just left in the lurch.”

Oliver, a photographer from Kent, spent £799 with Smile Direct Club just under two weeks ago in the hope of straightening his smile.

“I’m gutted. It’s a fair chunk of money and I feel a bit numb about it really,” he says.

Oliver

Founded in 2014, the orthodontics company styled itself as a disruptor to the “bricks-and-mortar” dental industry.

In traditional dentistry, “train-track” braces and clear aligners are fitted by dentists and orthodontists themselves, or a trained orthodontic therapist, after an in-person consultation.

Many customers were drawn to US-based Smile Direct Club because of lower prices, and the fact that they typically take the moulds for their aligners themselves at home.

The Nashville-based firm debuted on the Nasdaq stock exchange in 2019 and it was once valued at about $8.9bn (£7bn).

But it failed to turn a profit and in late September the firm filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in the US. At the time it had nearly $900m worth of debt, according to Fortune magazine.

And late on Friday the firm said it had made the “incredibly difficult decision to wind down its global operations”.

It said that any orders that have not yet been made or shipped have been cancelled, and apologised for any inconvenience caused. It recommended that if customers in the US, UK and elsewhere want to carry on with their treatment, they should get in touch with a local dentist.

There would be more information on refunds, it said, as the bankruptcy process determines next steps.

It has angered some customers, however, by saying that the “lifetime smile guarantee” it previously offered was no longer valid, while those with payment plans set up are expected to continue making payments.

Smile Direct Club dentistry firm shuts down

Dentists warn of damage from braces ordered online

Teah from the West Midlands told the BBC that she had paid a £135 deposit for her aligners about two weeks ago.

The treatment, which typically takes about four to six months, cost £1,739, which Teah was planning to pay back using the Smile Direct Club payment plan.

She says she feels “outraged and anxious” about the fact she is still being asked to make payments.

“It is not right that I [am expected to] pay such a large sum of money even though I didn’t receive any treatment or merchandise from them.”

The BBC has contacted Smile Direct Club for comment on Chantelle, Oliver and Teah’s experiences.

What should Smile Direct Club customers do?

Lisa Webb, consumer law expert at the organisation Which?, said that many customers would feel “adrift” due to the company going bust.

She pointed out that where refunds would be available, they will be handed by liquidators. “But customers will be at the back of a long queue of creditors so this is unlikely to amount to much, if anything at all,” she said.

She recommended that anyone in the UK who is still waiting for products, and has not had their order cancelled and paid via credit card, could also try to claim their money back via Section 75 under the Consumer Credit Act.

Dental bodies have also spoken out after the firm’s collapse.

The British Dental Association (BDA) said that it had raised concerns about the company offering plastic aligners remotely and the potential risk of misdiagnosis with regulators.

“Dentists are left to pick up the pieces when these providers offer wholly inappropriate treatment,” said BDA chair Eddie Crouch.

“It shouldn’t take a bankruptcy to protect patients from harm. It requires decent laws and effective regulation.”

Getty Images

And Anjli Patel of the British Orthodontic Society suggested that the firm was avoiding responsibility for customers’ treatment in a way that was “nothing short of scandalous”.

It is calling on watchdogs in the UK to ensure any firm providing orthodontics directly to patients in the UK are held to high standards.

Smile Direct Club vigorously defended its practices throughout and said consistently that customers’ treatments were reviewed by licensed professionals, while risks were listed as well.

In the statement on its website, the company said that it had “improved more than two million smiles and lives”.

But that is no consolation to those who now find themselves out of pocket with incomplete treatment.

Both Chantelle and Oliver regret being attracted by Smile Direct Club’s cheaper prices.

“I should have gone to my own dentist. Although it was more than double the amount of money – I was quoted £4,500 – I would have rather paid that looking back in hindsight,” says Chantelle.

Neither are hopeful of getting their retainers or their money back.

“I went cheap, and the whole phrase ‘buy cheap buy twice’ comes to mind,” says Oliver, adding that he was asking his bank for help and wanted to “fight his corner”.

Additional reporting by Emma Pengelly and Rozina Sini

More on this story

Smile Direct Club dentistry firm shuts down

1 day ago

Dentists warn of damage from braces ordered online

20 January

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the-andromeda-collective · 1 year

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We’ve been going through a book called Got Parts? An Insider’s Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder and it’s been...interesting.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been some good and interesting things about it, but there have also been some things about that...just sit weird. One portion talked about how it is necessary to always know who was fronting. Paraphrasing, “I don’t know isn’t an answer.” that was a few days ago we read that part and it’s taken up to now to realize why that sits so wrongly with me.

“I don’t know isn’t an answer” was something we heard a lot growing up. It was something that was said when we were in trouble, it was said, often times, when developmentally or due to difficulties with neurodiversity, “I don’t know” was the only answer we had.

We didn’t know why we were struggling with staying on task because we didn’t have a word for dissociation- which everyone labeled as daydreaming- we didn’t have the words for executive dysfunction, hell, at that point, according to our therapist, we didn’t even really have executive functioning because that doesn’t actually develop until 15.

It was like being told, “There’s something wrong with you and you have to tell me what it is.” except that you’re 10 and you don’t know either, you didn’t even really realize there was anything wrong with you. On top of that, for us, there was the added layer of what was happening and had happened outside the home that had caused a lot of the “daydreaming”. Things that we should have been protected from by the adults in our lives, but we weren’t, so we had to learn some way to protect ourselves. And that was “I don’t know”.

Because we didn’t know, we didn’t understand. “I don’t know what’s happening to me, so I’m going to pretend it’s not.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be believed or if I’m going to get in trouble or if they’re gonna get angry and hurt me more. So I’m going to pretend this isn’t happening.”

We’ve been striving to bring “I don’t know” into neutral territory, to make it not a trigger, to be comfortable in the realm of “I don’t know”, “I don’t have all the answers”, and seeing such a...firm take, really did a number on us. Especially from a book that should, in theory, be meant to help us. It’s really made it hard to digest the parts we’ve been reading most recently. It made it feel not safe in some ways and has triggered a lot of the doubt and denial in others.

If we were really a system we’d know all these things and be like they outlined, but that’s not true. I don’t know can be an answer. And it is a lot of times for us. We are very new at this still and pushing for answers isn’t always helpful and cause some disruptions, which we have seen first hand.

Don’t get me wrong, there are good things to this book and it is interesting, but I think there are parts we may have to go back and reread after we’ve processed a bit more of the “I don’t know” issue. Maybe the second time around we can be more receptive and a little less triggered.

#screaming to the void #system maintenance #-TA #💐

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onetwistedmiracle · 1 year

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content warning: Auschwitz, Shoah, subject of WP article survived the Holocaust

She survived Auschwitz. Now she’s teaching Gen Z about it — on TikTok.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://s3.amazonaws.com/arc-authors/washpost/c735a7bb-d04e-404a-9f73-82314e1e810b.png&w=196&h=196

By Marisa Iati

March 29, 2023 at 9:17 p.m. EDT

Viewers frequently flood Tova Friedman’s TikTok account with probing questions: Why didn’t she try to escape from Auschwitz? Could she hear people screaming from the gas chambers? Were there any times when she almost died but got a second chance?

With the help of her 17-year-old grandson, the 84-year-old tries to convey the grim reality of Auschwitz, a Nazi death camp in Poland, while avoiding graphic language that might scare her young viewers.

“I don’t want to turn them off, so I have to be careful a little bit how to do it,” Friedman said. “I’m very careful in choosing my vocabulary.”

Nearly 500,000 people have subscribed to Friedman’s TikTok account, previously reported by NorthJersey.com, since she and her grandson, Aron Goodman, launched the page in fall 2021. They said they’re trying to counter online Holocaust denial and misinformation by sharing Friedman’s firsthand experience — ensuring that the truth lives on, even with antisemitic views widespread in the United States.

“I have a terrific obligation to speak,” Friedman said in an interview. “I don’t have survivor’s guilt, but I have survivor’s obligation, so that I speak to remember.”

Born in Poland on the cusp of World War II, Friedman was forced by Nazis first into a Jewish ghetto and then into Auschwitz. At age 6, she was released from a gas chamber for reasons she still does not know. She once hid next to a still-warm corpse to evade Nazis gathering prisoners for a death march, according to her memoir, and she eventually gained her freedom when Auschwitz was liberated in 1945.

In most of her TikTok videos, Friedman perches on a couch at Aron’s home in Morristown, N.J., and speaks directly to the camera. She also invites her audience into various other settings, including a radio recording studio and a float in a pro-Israel parade.

One post shows Friedman holding up her sleeve as the camera zooms in on the Auschwitz identification number tattooed on her forearm: A-27633. In another video, Friedman holds up the Red Cross card that she used to travel after the Holocaust ended.

TikTok not long ago was totally unfamiliar to Friedman, who initially thought Aron was saying “Tic Tac.” Aron said he recently had to explain to her why they can’t edit a live video like they do to other posts.

But Friedman said her grandson has made adjusting to the platform as painless as possible. He coaches her to make the most of the videos’ short time frame and edits the posts afterward. When she feels uncomfortable while recording, they stop.

Aron also shields Friedman from the antisemitic remarks that their account sometimes receives and said he tries not to dwell on them himself.While much of TikTok’s content is positive, antisemitic extremists have sometimes co-opted the platform to spread hateful content and conspiracy theories, according to the Anti-Defamation League.

“Those give me fuel to try to continue this work,” Aron said. “For the most part, I think about the positive impact we have,” including a message from a teacher in India who wanted to use some of the account’s material for her class.

Holocaust education in Aron’s own classes has been limited, he said. While TikTok videos can’t replace widespread lessons in schools, Aron said he hopes his account will inspire young people to learn further on their own. Friedman, who works as a therapist,also speaks frequently to students and other groups.

All of it, she said, is meant to make people understand the perils of unbridled loathing.

“It’s a warning to be careful with the hatred that you feel about somebody or something,” Friedman said. “It’s okay to feel dislike. … But it’s a different thing to act on it.”

While Aron and Friedman try to expand their content to Instagram and other platforms, they’re also figuring out the future of the “TovaTok” account. Aron is set to leave New Jersey for college in St. Louis this fall, and he’s unsure what that means for the project. He might expand the account to include interviews with other Holocaust survivors, he said, or make videos with his grandmother over FaceTime.

Friedman, for her part, isn’t ready to throw in the towel on their TikTok page.

“I just want to speak as long as I can and reach as many people as is possible as long as I’m alive,” she said.

#Tova Friedman #shoah #holocaust #holocaust survivor

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fresh-cut-stan · 2 years

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I’m slowly skimming through all 20 Cr3 episodes for interesting FCG moments, and I’m taking some notes. I’m specifically trying to see if maybe there’s some noticeable difference between their behavior before and after they got the “2 very suspicious points” from episode 12. I still have many episodes to re-examine, but I wanted to share some of the random, unrelated notes I’ve taken so far:

Random FCG notes and moments from ep 1-4 that got me thinking

Ep 1

2:54:09 - where’s your former group? Ashton seems eager to drop the topic;

FCG asks “when did we meet?” (It sounds less like they’re pondering how long ago that was and more like they’re asking because they straight up don’t remember how much time passed… maybe their memories are a little wonky?) Ashton says a couple of months ago at this point. “Time moves very weird when there’s not a lot of sun down - sun up.” So they haven’t left the crock house since they came back from the silver mine probably.

2:55:39 - Stasis mode: from the way it’s described (and what we’ve seen so far) it’s different from the Aeormaton Sentry’s Rest, and more like actual sleep: When in stasis FCG is (from what I can gather) unconscious and unable to see or hear, and I’m pretty sure his stasis lasts 8 hours since FCG didn’t make any special sort of arrangements during the watches in ep.17 or wake up at earlier compared to everyone else.

2:55:52 -Ashton’s “very deceased” comment probably refers to the fact that it was quite the bloodbath from what we know from the Imogen-FCG mind melt from ep.17.

FCG directly states they’re not quite sure how long after the fact Ashton found him; according to Ashton a few days later he got hired to check what had happened. FCG can recall those events well enough, but still. I’m imagining they were broken at the time so maybe that’s why their time perception is a little wonky, but so far we don’t actually know FCG’s status at the time of the DPB’s fall…

2:57:16 - “It’s heartbreaking when a soul touched passes away” “[…] that could’ve been something that Dancer sort of made me think.” In terms of design it would make sense to program FCG to feel strongly when a soul touched is in peril, especially if their designation is to heal people (physically and emotionally).

Ep. 3

22:20 - there’s a bit of a theme with FCG when it comes to objectives: when they don’t have a clear goal or they can’t understand what is the point of what they’re doing they get very vocal about it. In this specific instance many party members also express confusion, but it seems to be a theme with FCG specifically.

53:34 - “[…] I feel like he might have more to accomplish, than just being a waste of space who’s just drinking his troubles away. :)” that feels uncharacteristically mean for FCG? He’s made his fair share of socially unaware comments, but that feels a little rude for him. Maybe it has to do with his views on purpose and they’re just projecting that onto other people? Or maybe it’s just bad “”therapist”” mumbo jumbo.

55:20 - Ashton talks about his debts; maybe that’s what FCG had on their mind when in later episodes he says he could be sold if need be? :<

2:58:04 - they find Danas’ body and Letters assesses that she’s dead dead. Very softly FCG says “we weren’t fast enough. :(“

Ep. 4

1:40:42 - F in the chat for the coin. :( on one hand, ahah funny gag. On the other there’s something in FCG’s reaction that seems meaningful to me. It’s blatantly clear that FCG is not entirely okay with that, but they put on a forced smile and say that everything is A-okay. It’s very emblematic of FCG in general, yknow? It has me thinking of this comment Sam made in the FCG playlist: “For someone so in tune with emotions, there are some that Fresh Cut Grass just can’t access themselves.”

ALSO: “it served it’s purpose, so it’s good.” Really echoes the way he often talks about himself: since they’re not soul touched it doesn’t matter what happens to him, all that matters is that FCG accomplishes their purpose.

3:21:10 - “I’m just messing with ya, I’m being silly :)” MAN. I feel like I could write a 50 pages essay just on FCG’s humor.

For quite a while I felt like these sort of sarcastic remarks might’ve been more from Sam, but I’m starting to realize this is still in character. FCG is the one being a goofball poking fun at his friends. On one hand YES my beautiful robot be silly!! :) On the other… is this silliness something that was programmed into them? Did Dancer add some joking protocol to keep everyone on the team in a good mood? Or is this something FCG has developed over time?

#fcg #critical role #bells hells #cr3

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letarasstuff · 4 years

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Where do you go?

(A/N): This is requested by an anon and based on this post.

Summary: How does Hotch’s daughter, who everyone goes to with their own problems, cope with her mother’s death two years later?

Warnings: Angst. Grief. Dealing with a loved one’s death

Wordcount: 2.2k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

“Hey (Y/N), I really need your help with Tim. Do you have a minute for me?” (Y/N) turns around to see a boy from her science class. It’s not like she knows him that much, they occasionally team up for small projects, there is nothing more behind that.

“Uh of course. I just had my last class, so I got time for you.” She smiles and lets him, Vincent is his name she thinks, rant to her about how his boyfriend doesn’t understand his needs.

This is nothing out of the ordinary for her, to be asked for advice. She simply is a good listener and gives good tips, the best even according to people close to the teenager. The problem is her limited knowledge on relationships. “Coaches don’t play”, Hotch tells her. And he intends on keeping it that way.

“That does really suck. Did you try to talk to him about it?” (Y/N) asks the boy in front of her. Suddenly he bursts into tears, describing how he only sees breaking up as a solution. She awkwardly pats his back and says encouraging words to him. That he will make the right decision, that he shouldn’t rush it and that he has to take his time.

After Vincent, or is it Gordon, calms down he looks up at the girl. “Thank you for listening. You were a great help, (Y/N).” He hugs her and leaves.

As she looks over the parking lot she spots her father’s car. Excitedly (Y/N) walks over and gets onto the passenger seat. “Hey, I didn’t know you pick me up today”, she greets him.

“We finished the case early and I was on the way home and thought giving you a lift wouldn’t hurt. Who was that boy? Is there something I should know?” Hotch looks at her from the side. But his daughter shakes her head. “Don’t worry, he is gay. He just needed a shoulder to cry on about his ruined relationship.”

“You do know you are not the school’s therapist, don’t you? At this point your classmates should pay you.” He tries to joke about it, but as a father he is worried. Since Haley died, (Y/N) took it upon her to make sure everybody is happy, no matter at what costs.

“I know, Dad. I’m fine and Alex feels better.”

A few days later (Y/N) sits in JJ’s living room, watching the mother go from one place to the next. “Food is in the fridge, so help yourself. Henry’s bedtime is in half an hour, please make sure he goes to sleep by then. He should be easy to put down, Will made sure to tire him out earlier. All important numbers are on the fridge. Feel free to watch anything on the TV.”

The teenager volunteered to babysit Henry, giving his parents a child free evening. “Thank you, JJ. We will rock this, don’t we?” She looks down to the boy on her lap, who nods his head.

“Good. Behave for (Y/N), ok?” The mother gives her son a kiss on the head. After Will’s goodbye the couple is gone.

“Ok, how about we get real comfy on your bed and I read you a story?” Henry nods again. He takes (Y/N) by her hand to his room. As suggested they lay down on his bed.

“Which one do you want me to read to you?” But the boy looks unsure all of a sudden. “Can we just talk?” Surprised the teenager nods. “Whatever you like, champ.”

“Uh okay, do you know Mommy is a bit… much? She is like there and the next second she is here and then she isn’t here for days. I- this is sooo annoying”, Henry rants to her. He is only three, so it is kept rather simple.

“Oh man, she must be a handful, champ. But you have to keep in mind that she really loves you and in the end this is the only thing that matters. Do you love her, too?” It hurts her to talk about a mother’s love, since her own passed away over two years ago. (Y/N) still misses her. She is sure it will never go away.

“Of course I love her.” Sleepily Henry cuddles closer to (Y/N), holding his plush toy near him. After that, he falls asleep safe and sound. The teenager waits for a bit, watching him scrunching up his nose every few minutes.

The next day at the BAU a knock is heard on the Unit Chief’s door. “Come in!”

“Hey Dad, I thought a little visit wont hurt”, the daughter enters the room. Automatically a smile appears on Hotch’s face. “Also, I thought a little help from Spencer wont hurt, too”, she adds with a laugh. “Last time I checked he was in Garcia’s lair. You might have a shot finding him there”, he tips her off.

“Thank you Dad, you are the best!” Not long after this she steps into the Technical Analyst’s office and is immediately greeted by the preppy woman being anything but preppy.

“What in heaven’s name do they think I am, do you know it (Y/N)? They want me to work faster and more efficiently and expect me to be all sunshine and rainbows while looking at the most gruesome pictures ever taken on a daily basis! Un-be-lie-va-ble!” The blonde walks back and forth, gesticulating wildly.

The teenager takes her hands in an attempt to calm her down. “Sit down and tell me from the beginning what you are talking about.” This ends in Penelope raging about some superiors for an hour. When she finally calms down, it is like she wakes up. “Oh my, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to load all that up on you. You don’t need that in addition to-” She suddenly cuts herself off.

“I’m fine, really. It’ll be like any other day.” The smile the girl struggles to put on looks pained. “My sweet sweet summer child, the second anniversary of your mother’s death is not like any other day. You are still allowed to grief, you know that, right?” Penelope hugs (Y/N), cradling her close to her chest.

“I know, Penny. Thank you for reminding me. But I have to go, I need Spencer’s help with my chemistry assignment. You know, gotta keep those grades up.” With that she makes a beeline for the bullpen, leaving a stunned Technical Analyst by herself.

Since Foyet Hotch worries about his daughter. He learned many things about her coping mechanisms in the last two years: She tries to do it on her own.

In times like this the similarity between him and (Y/N) frustrates him. Aaron also tends to deal with his emotions alone, in the safe space of his own four walls. With all of his qualifications he knows it’s not healthy and he slowly learns to let his feelings loose around people he trusts, typically his team.

The difference between (Y/N) and Hotch is that he knows when he reaches his breaking point and she doesn’t about hers. So in a situation like right now being a profiler comes in handy with the job as a father.

It’s the day. The second anniversary of a mother’s death.

Hotch already planned the whole day for his two kids. At first he wakes both of them up, a luxus he seldom is able to indulge. But for today he has called into work saying he won't be coming any time before ten.

The mood around the house is suffocating. Even the little boy notices the heaviness of the day and its meaning.

“Are you ready, (Y/N)? I’m gonna drop you and Jack off at school!” Aaron shouts standing at the foot of the stairs. “I’m coming!” The answer is heard faintly.

Not long after this the Hotchner Household is on their way to the youngest’s elementary school. “Behave and remember: If you don’t feel fine it’s okay. Just tell your teachers and they will call me and I will get you, do you understand?” The father looks at his son with a certain seriousness. “Understood”, the blonde boy confirms and gives him a hug.

When he is back onto the driver’s seat, (Y/N) speaks up. “I don’t feel good about letting him to school today. What if he suddenly gets overwhelmed? I don’t think his teachers are able to calm him down.” Hotch gives his daughter a glance from the side. Jack never showed any signs of what she just described.

“They know to call me. I also told him it's all right to let them call me. He is in good hands.” It’s quiet for the next few minutes. “Dad, this is not the way to school”, the teenager tries to alert her father.

“I know. You won’t go today. I called you in sick when you were in the bathroom. I got the day planned, be ready to be surprised.”

The first thing they do is having breakfast in a little niché café. They once visited it regularly with Haley, way long before Jack was born. The two of them sit down at a booth in the corner.

“What can I get you two sweeties?” A waitress asks, her notebook ready in her hands. While the father orders their usuals, (Y/N) lets her eyes wander. So many memories at once crash onto her.

“Do you remember this one waiter, who always got you a hot cup of chocolate for free?” Aaron says after noticing her sad look. The girl begins to smile through the tears forming in her eyes. “Of course. Mom always got nearly a heart attack seeing me down it like it’s juice. I-” Her voice breaks. The tears fall down and make their way over her cheeks.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I’m here. For anything you want or need me. Because nobody expects you to be alright, especially on this day.” He takes her hand and looks her in the eyes. (Y/N) nods, leaning against her father’s shoulder. He puts an arm on her, keeping her closer.

“I know. It’s just- It still hurts. So so badly. I feel like she still is here, but that’s just not true and that hurts me more.” Silently Hotch motions the waitress to make the order to go, while rubbing his child’s arm. Because that’s what she still is, a child.

A child that went through much, especially for her age. When (Y/N) calms down a little, they make their way back to the car.

“I thought we are going to the BAU to distract you for a while. But I can call the team and tell them we are going to do a SPA day at home or something. What do you want?”

“Can we go to them? And maybe leave earlier to do face masks at home before picking Jack up?” There is no way the father can say no to her puppy dog eyes. “Of course, Honey. Anything you want.”

As soon as the doors of the elevator open to floor six of the FBI building in Quantico, Penelope Garcia embraces (Y/N) in a big bear hug. “My sweet sweet summer child. You are so strong, I admire you. We are so happy to have you here” she whispers into the teenager's ear. “Thank you, Penny. Thank you so much.”

Over the course of the next few hours (Y/N) visits everyone’s desk. At first she goes into the lair, where mountains of cookies wait for her. Then she sits at Spencer’s desk, listening to cute facts about sloths. But Emily is quick to steal her from the genius, bribing the girl with new pictures of Sergio. Derek takes the teen from there, pushing her through the office on a desk chair with wheels. Her father is able to hear her laughs in his office, which puts a small smile on his face.

After that (Y/N) goes to JJ, who has a drawn picture from Henry for her. “Will had to write ‘best babysitter ever’ for him”, the blonde explains, pointing at the picture. The girl smiles. “Woah, I think you got a little Picasso at home. Tell him I love it.”

Her last stop is Rossi’s office. The older man looks at her with a fond smile. “Do you know that I see so much of your father and mother in you?” Confused, she glances at him.

“You are as stoic as Aaron. You are determined. But you are also caring and loving, like Haley. You are a perfect combination of both of them. Just keep that in your mind.”

As mysterious as this seems, it somehow makes (Y/N) happy. Happy to know a part of her mother is always with her.

Soon the little family departes for their home. Not long after they bid their goodbyes, Penelope receives a picture of the Unit Chief and the teenager with pink glitter masks. The father is willing to do anything to make her smile, even when this means he gets a basket of various masks the next day for teasingly reasons.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #hotch x daughter!reader #aaron hotch x daughter!reader #aaron hotch x teen!reader #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfiction #bau x reader #bau x teen!reader #x daughter!reader #x teen!reader #x reader #reader insert

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jungshookz · 4 years

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the one where yoongi hates his therapist but kind of likes her receptionist; lveb!verse

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; lveb!universe equal parts emotionally constipated and cheeky yoongi!! the man of our dreams!! i don’t really know what to categorize this drabble as but it’s cute and it’s sfw <3

➺ wordcount: 5k

➺ summary; yoongi hates going to therapy - but you and your dumb little hershey kisses make it a tiny bit better, he supposes.

➺ what to expect; “you like a man who’s unable to form emotional bonds with people, baby?”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read la vie en bonsai just to get a feel for what yoongi’s like and why we’re all falling hopelessly in love with him!!

»»————-　♡　————-««

“see you next week, yoongi!”

“uh-huh, yep.” the smile on yoongi’s face drops as soon as he shuts the door behind him and he immediately rolls his eyes

well

that was an hour and a half of his life that could’ve gone towards something more productive

watching paint dry probably would’ve been more productive than whatever the hell that was

dr. i-don’t-have-chairs-but-i-have-beanbags basically spent the entire session asking him to list out things that he loved which he thought was going to be an easy task because he liked a lot of things!

and everything was easy peasy lemon squeezy until dr. glittery-purple-nameplate pointed out that yoongi kept saying that he ‘liked’ this and he ‘liked’ that and he’d never actually said he ‘loved’ anything once and then she went into the whole ‘why do you think you’re so scared of love?’ thing and his eyes rolled so far back into his skull that he actually saw his pink, wrinkly brain

he knows that she’s just doing her job but he’d really appreciate if one of his sessions with her just consisted of the two of them sitting in silence while scrolling through their phones

he even asked her one time if it’d be alright if they did that just so he could tell his friend (the one that sent him here) that he willingly sat through an entire session of therapy

obviously she said no and yoongi resisted the urge to use that as an excuse to give her 1/5 stars on google reviews (unfortunately the option to give 0 stars isn’t available)

it’s just really hard to believe that dr. are-you-more-comfortable-opening-up-to-my-homemade-handpuppet-rory-the-lion has 5/5 shining gold stars on basically every single one of her google reviews

yoongi should be happy that he’s going to one of the best therapists in the city but he’s noT because: he doesn’t even need therapy!

he doesn’t even know why he’s here!

he shouldn’t be in therapy!

he’s min frickin yoongi!!

what the hell does he need a therapist for??

what the hell does he need therapy for?!

he can literally solve his own problems

if he’s sad he just plays video games all day and also eats an entire pint of ice cream

if he’s mad he just plays violent video games all day and aggressively shoves an entire pint of ice cream into his mouth

he’s spent his entire life coming up with different coping mechanisms for himself and he thinks that he has a pretty good grip on his emotions

the only one that he’s a little iffy about is obviously <3 love <3 but-

that’s not a big deal, is it?

yes, technically speaking, he’s “emotionally unavailable” or whatever, but he really doesn’t know why that’s such an issue

yes, the thought of committing to someone in a long-term relationship and the thought of saying “i love you” to someone makes him want to rip his skin off but again, he really doesn’t know why that’s such a big iSSUE

besides

emotional unavailability is sexy

whenever he tells someone that he’s incapable of loving and the sex we’re going to have in three seconds will be animalistic and primal and will also mean nothing to me whatsoever their underwear basically flies off their legs and out the window

so, again: what! is! the! big! problem!

the only reason why he’s here is because, as mentioned earlier, one of his friends set up an appointment for him because god knows he’s not here of his own accord

(also, she did it without asking him first, so he’s still a little upset with her, but she made him a whole batch of brownies as a form of an apology so now he’s a little less upset with her. just a little, though.)

he knows she means well and only wants the best for him but he’s starting to think that maybe she sent him here to torture him and not to help him

his original plan was to go for like one or two sessions and then end it there buT there’s just a teeny little detail he has yet to mention

there is one (1) thing that keeps him coming back every week

he’d even go as far as to say that this thing is the only thing that motivates him to continue to waste his hard-earned money on these weekly appointments

and that thing is-

“yoongi!” your eyes light up and yoongi can’t help but smile at how excited you are to see him even though you literally saw him when he was checking in an hour and a half ago, “how was your session?”

“it was-”

“oh, wait!” you gasp before pressing a finger up against your lips, “i don’t know if i’m legally allowed to ask you that. pretend i didn’t said anything.”

“my session was fine-” yoongi ignores you as he folds his arms up on the counter and leans forward, “i’m still dead on the inside and the concept of love remains ever so terrifying, so… yeah! everything’s pretty much the same.”

“ah, yes.” you lean forward as well, “that’s exactly what every girl wants to hear.”

“oh yeah?” the corner of yoongi’s mouth twitches in a smirk, “you like a man who’s unable to form emotional bonds with people, baby?” he asks in a particularly sultry tone and you grin in response

“you gotta stop calling me that before i fully fall in love with you, yoongi-” you sigh dramatically before flittering your lashes at him and yoongi laughs lightly, “well, it is what it is. one day at a time, right?”

“baby steps.” yoongi hums and you nod in agreement before suddenly perking up

“hey- you want a kiss?”

another reason why yoongi enjoys your company is because you keep a little gumball machine on your desk

except you despise gumballs (you told him that on his very first day here when he asked you why there were no gumballs in what was obviously a mini gumball machine) so you filled it up with hershey’s chocolate kisses instead (you change the flavour of them every week! last week they were the milk chocolate almond ones)

“a kiss? from you?” yoongi digs his hands into his pockets, “at least let me put some chapstick on first, darling.”

“you know what i mean, yoongi.” you roll your eyes playfully before plopping the machine down in front of him, “they’re the cookies and creme ones this week!”

"mhm. whatever helps you sleep at night, y/n.”

♡

“see you next week, yoongi!”

“you got it, chief.” yoongi forces a smile before promptly shutting the door behind him

he lets out a huff before shaking his hair out of his eyes

somehow the hour and a half in there felt more like four hours and a half

he kept looking at the clock and whenever he thought that at least a good twenty minutes had gone by, it’d turn out that only like two and a half minutes had gone by!

he feels like maybe once the door is shut that time just ceases to exist

today he was forced to talk about all of the romantic relationships he’s ever had and that’s something that he’s never really discussed with… anyone, really.

not even his closest friends!

yoongi’s had a multitude of flings but he’s been in three serious-ish relationships (yes, he knows that’s a huge surprise) - obviously none of them worked out because he’s now in therapy for his intimacy issues, but still

needless to say, they messed him up pretty bad

see, his problem was (and you probably wouldn’t be able to guess it after looking at him) the fact that he… fell in love too hard and way too fast.

his first one was in high school - he was pretty much ready to marry this girl and even gave her a promise ring to which she freaked out and broke up with him on the spot

(she said she felt that it would be better if they broke up since they were both going off to different universities and long distance relationships were tough)

(on the same day they broke up she immediately changed her facebook status back to single which yoongi thought was a pretty icy thing to do)

his second one was in his first year of university (not very long after the high school breakup because that’s how desperate he was to fall in love again) and he wasn’t super sure if he loved this person or if he just wanted to fill the empty void inside of him bUT after two months of dating yoongi asked them if they wanted to move into the same dorm together for the second semester of first year - they said no.

and then they broke up with him.

and yoongi ended up with a single-person dorm, which was great!

:D because it meant no one could hear him crying himself to sleep at night worrying that he would never find true love and that no one would ever love him :D

and finally, with his last relationship, he told [unnamed person because yoongi would like to keep that private, thank you very much] that he loved them, like, two weeks after they’d started properly dating (they’d known each other for a year before getting together so yoongi didn’t think it was that weird. it’s not that weird, right??)

long story short, they didn’t say it back, and instead responded with: “oh! thank… you?” and that was a pretty devastating (and humiliating) blow for yoongi and it was after that breakup that he decided that things just had to change

he couldn’t be this person for the rest of his life!

this pathetic wimpy shrimPY little ‘<3 i love you <3’ weak-ass PUNK

eventually he figured that if he just turned all his emotions off, he wouldn’t run into anymore issues

it’s like that saying mo’ money mo’ problems except in this case it would be less emotions less problems

and he thinks it’s been working out pretty well for him so far!

he’s never gotten attached to any of his one-night stands (although he can’t say the same for them, because c’mon - he’s an absolute catch)

and he kind of takes pleasure knowing that they want to have something more with him when he doesn’t want anything at all

he likes playing with feelings

it’s like dangling a piece of candy over a little baby

it’s fun!

…does that make him a twisted individual?

is he going to go to hell for being a little emotionally manipulative?

also he always finds himself snickering whenever one of his friends started talking about how much they love (gags) their significant others

even the one who sent him here - she just started dating someone in her apartment building - is fully in love with her significant other (he might even go as far to say it was love at first sight for the both of them (double gag)) and sometimes yoongi has to shove a croissant into her mouth just to get her to stop blabbing about how fond she is of her boyfriend

after all this time, yoongi has finally figured out that love is merely a concept

it’s not real!

it’s an idea.

love is not real.

so, again - yoongi genuinely doesn’t see the issue with being emotionally unavailable.

this isn’t just him being stubborn or anything - he literally cannot come up with one single reason as to why being emotionally constipated is such a bad thing

real life constipation is pretty bad but emotional constipation is totally fine!

emotions make everything that much more difficult and he doesn’t have the time nor the energy to deal with it

being emotionally unavailable makes life easy, breezy AND beautiful!

...

of course, there is the one slight issue that sometimes pops into his mind

is he okay with being like this for the rest of his life?

because if he is, he’s… literally going to die alone.

sure, his friends will be there (unless they die before him, in which case he’s actually going to be alone), but even yoongi has to admit that platonic companionship and romantic companionship are two entirely different things

is he truly incapable of falling in love with someone?

he... doesn’t like thinking about that

he prefers to keep those gloomy thoughts tucked away in the dusty basement of his brain

he’d much rather think about-

“yoongi!” you greet as enthusiastically as always as yoongi rounds the corner, “have fun today?”

fun?

in therapy?

that’s hilarious.

“fun? oh, yeah.” yoongi snorts as he folds his arms up on the countertop, “i even got to talk to rory today.”

the two of you exchange knowing glances and you snort before quickly reaching up to clap a hand over your mouth

hey!

you’re supposed to be supportive of rory’s role in therapy!

he has a very important job

one might say that his job of providing emotional support is far more important that yours, you measly little receptionist

you make appointments all day but rory saves lives

“well, i’m… glad that rory is helping you during these trying times.” you clear your throat as you straighten up in your seat

if you get caught making fun of rory you’re dead meat

“mhm.” yoongi nods before leaning over a little, “now gimme a kiss, babe.”

your heart skips a beat in your chest and you can’t help but grin when yoongi turns his head and points to his cheek, “well?”

“milk chocolate caramel this week, babe.” you hum as you place the little gumball machine in front of him

“ooh, yummy-“ yoongi’s eyes widen in excitement as he cranks the metal knob, “so, you got any plans tonight?”

a single kiss plops out and he opens up the little metal flap to take it out

“eh, i mean i guess i do?” you shift in your seat before shrugging, “sort of.”

yoongi raises a brow as he unwraps the tin foil, “what’s that supposed to mean? you got a hot date or something?”

“...yep!”

wait what

yoongi pauses right as he’s about to pop the chocolate into his mouth

because he was… just kidding about that

that was supposed to be a joke

“oh!” yoongi clears his throat, “well, who- who are you… who are you going out with? tell me about them.”

“oh, you don’t wanna-” you shake your head, “the details are boring, i promise it’s nothing to geek out over-”

“no, c’mon! tell me.” yoongi shoves the wrapping into his mouth as the chocolate melts over his tongue, “give me the deets.”

“alright, well…” you reach up to push your glasses up, “i actually met him at the club that he works at! he’s a bartender. we’ve gone out on a couple of dates and he’s really nice! he’s super nice, i just- i don’t know. i guess i just- there’s not much of a spark, you know? he’s taken me out four times and he kissed me on the last one and it was nice but… i don’t know. i’m not sure i even know where i’m going with this story- b-but he’s nice!”

yoongi nods slowly as he pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek

well

good for you!

whatever

you’re going on a date and it’s whatever

it’s not like he cares

because if he cared it would imply that he has feelings for you

and in case it wasn’t already clear, yoongi is incapable of having any feelings at all because that’s just who he is

he’s spent years building his status as an emotionless android and he’s not going to let a stinky girl like you ruin it (you are not stinky. you smell like pears and it’s very pleasing to his nostrils. and he hates that he spent thirty minutes at the drugstore sniffing multiple shampoos until he found the one that he’s pretty sure is the one you use. and now his pillows smell like you.)

“nice, nice…” yoongi mutters under his breath, “anyways, i should, um, probably go! i’m like, two minutes away from getting a parking ticket-” he laughs nervously before reaching up to scratch the back of his head

“oh! okay, yeah-” you take the gumball machine down and set it back down next to your monitor, “are you- is everything okay?”

yoongi’s no longer looking at you and you’re usually the first one to break eye contact so this is… odd

“yeah, i just- i remembered i had a thing, so-” yoongi coughs into his fist, “yeah, i gotta go.”

“should i- should i put you down for next week, or-” you get up from your seat quickly when yoongi basically sprints towards the elevators

“yeah!” he flicks his wrist at you, “um, yeah- go for it. i’m just gonna-”

ding!

the elevator doors slide open and yoongi rushes in at the speed of light

“s-same time, or-”

the door glide shut before you get a chance to finish asking your question and you can’t help but feel a little… rejected?

even though you’re not entirely sure what it is you’re being rejected by

that was weird

that was weird, right?

it’s not just your imagination?

you frown to yourself as you plop back down on your squeaky chair

maybe your chocolates tasted funky or something?

you unwrap one for yourself before popping it into your mouth

…

no, the chocolates are fine!

what went wrong?

you chew on the inside of your cheek anxiously as you quickly go through what just happened

everything was fine

everything was normal up until the point you said you were going out on a date…

oOh, maybe you shouldn’t have brought up dates or anything like that

you don’t know too much about yoongi’s sessions besides the fact that he has intimacy issues but maybe the subject of dating was triggering for him?

damnit

you idiot!

this is why you could never be a therapist because you’d probably end up traumatizing your patients instead of helping them

you should’ve just told yoongi that your plans tonight involved NO dating and it was just going to be you going to town on a pizza at home

it’s too bad

you were kind of hoping the reason why he started acting so weirdly was because he didn’t want you to go out on a date

here’s the thing:

you… you sort of… have a little crush on yoongi. at least, you think you do.

you can’t help it!

he’s surprisingly very sweet and he has that boyish charm that you’re really into anD he’s also super goofy AND hello!!!! even when you’re not wearing your glasses you can see that he’s really attractive!!!

sometimes you find yourself daydreaming about that smirk of his

it just makes you feel tingly

...

what were you talking about again?

right!

you’re pretty sure the two of you use the same shampoo and you don’t want to be that person but...

match made in heaven?

you’d like to think so.

you just don’t want to ruin this super fun and bantery and also kind of flirty relationship you have with him (though, now that you’re thinking about it, you can’t help but wonder if it’s actual flirting or if yoongi’s just doing his thing) and you knoW he’s definitely going to freak out if you’re suddenly like hey,.,. do u,.,. maybe wanna go out on a date or something.,,. because i think i have a teeny crush on you because even though you’re dead on the inside you are OBSCENELY charming and witty and attractive and everything i want in a significant other,.,.

yoongi would run for the hills if he ever found out you felt that way about him!

“good going, y/n.” you grumble to yourself as you lean back against your chair

well

you can worry about your yoongi-related issues later

you have a date with a cute bartender to get to

a cute, very nice bartender

♡

yoongi’s jealous.

at least, he thinks he’s jealous

this is weird, right?

because yoongi doesn’t get jealous!

he doesn’t get jealous over anything so whY does he not like the idea of you going out with someone who isn’t him?

yoongi squeezes his fingers tighter around his steering wheel as he stares ahead with knitted brows

he left the office like half an hour ago and now he’s just been sitting in his car in silence

and before you ask, yes, there was a parking ticket tucked behind his windshield wiper when he came down here

“jealous, jealous…” yoongi mutters to himself before shaking his head and letting out a huff, “no. i’m not jealous. i’m not!”

he’s not jealous because he doesn’t like you!

he doesn’t!

he likes flirting with you, it doesn’t mean that he likes you

of course, if he didn’t like you… he wouldn’t be grinning like an idiot every time you greet him

if he didn’t like you, he would’ve called you out on your lame ‘you want a kiss?’ joke a long, lonG time ago - instead he just lets you keep saying it because he knows you like making the same joke over and over again

if he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t be coming back to therapy every week, for crying out loud

if he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t have bought pear-scented shampoo for himself

he should be buying manly shampoos!

like… winter breeze!

or… musky oak??

or diRTy monster truck??!? (he’s not sure if that’s an actual shampoo scent for men, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was)

you know, those kinds of scents!

not frickin pear

yoongi pauses when he realises that he actually doesn’t mind the thought of waking up next to you

he feels his heart skip a beat and he gasps in surprise before quickly slapping his hand up against his chest

oh god

it’s happening!

“…son of a bitch!” yoongi groans as he slams his head back against the headrest, “are you kidding me?!”

he’s feeling!

NO!!!!

that, or he’s having a heart attack

(he’d rather have the heart attack.)

yoongi turns his head right as you exit the building and he doesn’t know where these emotions are coming from but all of a sudden he’s being flooded with what can only be describe as…

pure, blinding rage

“what the hell did you put in those damn chocolates?!” yoongi slams the car door behind him and you practically leap ten feet into the air

“i have no money in my wallet i only have a starbucks gift card and it has like three dollars left on- oh.” you immediately relax when you realize that you’re not about to be robbed

it’s just yoongi

your eyes widen in slight fear when you see him storm his way over to you with his fists clenched at his sides looking like he wants to skin you alive

“you are unbelievable.”

“me??” you shake your head in confusion, “yoongi, what are you-” you pause to glance down at your watch, “why are you still here? you left, like, forty minutes ago-”

“answer the question, y/n!“ yoongi crosses his arms, “you did something to those chocolates! that’s the only reason why i’m feeling like this-”

“what- i don’t- is it your stomach or something?? maybe you’re lactose intolerant-”

“nO, i don’t mean i physically feel something-“ yoongi looks around before leaning in, “i’m feeling something.”

you frown

“yoongi, the chocolates aren’t special chocolates, if that’s what you’re implying. there are kids that come to the office, i can’t go around giving out marijuana infused hershey kisses-”

“i don’t want you to go out with your nice bartender guy!” yoongi blurts out, “because i… i want you to go out with me instead.”

you pull back in surprise before tilting your head curiously

…what?

“what do you- what are- what?” you ask incredulously before narrowing your eyes at him

did he just... ask you out?

yoongi swallows nervously

his pure rage has now been replaced by pure anxiety

“i’m saying that i-” yoongi shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “i’m- i wanna be the one to take you out. o-on a date. or whatever they’re called.”

“you wanna take me out on a date?” you ask dumbly and yoongi rolls his eyes

“a.. i mean i guess it’s technically a da..ate...” yoongi’s mouth goes dry and you can see the panic quickly filling his pretty brown eyes

“we don’t- we don’t have to call it a date!” you perk up, “we can just... we can call it a... flirty hangout!”

“a flirty hangout?”

“a flangout.”

yoongi takes a second to think it over

a flangout

yeah!

he can do a flangout because a flangout is noT a date

“i’m sorry, i just-” you wave a hand in front of yourself, “i thought your whole schtick was that you didn’t believe in dates- flangouts- and ooey-gooey holding hands related situations, so why would you wanna-”

“because i like you!” yoongi groans before looking away from you and running a hand through his hair, “i think? i don’t know, okay? i know that i’m definitely attracted to- i just- you make me- i like talking to you after my sessions are over, and i like that you keep a gumball machine on your desk even though it still doesn’t make sense to me that you’ve filled it with kisses and not with actual gumballs, and i like that even though you know i, professionally speaking, have very intense intimacy issues, i-i like that you don’t judge me for it...” he trails off before letting out a breath and turning back to face you, “you can say no, obviously, but… i just think you’re really pretty and i think you know exactly what you’re doing whenever you ask me if i want a kiss.”

you blink owlishly at yoongi and he immediately feels like he’s about to projectile vomit everywhere

see??

this is exactly what he means when he says that feelings make literally everything ten times more complicated

he just told you that he likes you and now he just made things awkward!

which means noW he has to go find a new therapist-

wait, no

nope! he’s not going to find another therapist - he’s just going to noT go to therapy

why?

because min frickin’ yoongi doesn’t need therapy-

“i do.” yoongi looks at you with wide eyes when you suddenly speak up

you do

did… did he PROPOSE to you?!

great!!

of course he did!!

his feelings are back and they’re even worse than before-

“i do know exactly what i’m doing whenever i ask you if you wanna kiss-“ you hold up a finger to correct yourself, “if you want a kiss.”

“i’m happy with either one of those options-“

“there is one minor issue, though.” you turn your phone around to show yoongi, “what am i supposed to tell sweet tae?”

“who the hell is tae- ohhhh, bartender guy.” yoongi winces as he glances at your texts briefly, “i forgot about him.”

“nice bartender guy!!” you push your bottom lip out in a pout as you scroll through your texts with taehyung

:-(

his last message to you was ‘excited for tonight!! see you soon :-)’

:-(((((((

“do you… do you genuinely like him?” yoongi asks cautiously

“i mean, i- i don’t noT like him, you know?” you sigh and reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “it’s just that… he’s so nice-”

“okay, i think we’ve got that part covered-”

“i don’t wanna break his heart!!” you whine, “what do i do?!”

“alright, here’s what you’re going to do-” yoongi clears his throat, “you go out with him tonight-”

“but i don’t want to lead him o-”

“you go out with nice bartender tae tonight to tell him that it’s over. and you tell him that you’ve really enjoying spending time with him, but you feel like the two of you would be better off as friends. it’s simple, it’s clean, it’s straight to the point! no harm, no foul.” yoongi dusts his hands off before smiling proudly, “and then i’ll take you to the mcdonalds drive-thru for dessert.”

“i mean, i guess so…” you purse your lips in thought, “should i, like… if he kisses me or something, should i kiss him back?”

“you’re going to pity-kiss him?” yoongi gasps dramatically before tutting at you, “wow. and i’m the one in therapy.”

“wha-”

“now, c’mon-” yoongi places his hand on the small of your back as he leads you towards his car, “let me drive you to your gross date so that we can go on our cool flangout afterwards-”

“you know, they’re doing a limited edition chips ahoy mcflurry right now-“ you grin excitedly as yoongi opens the door for you, “you wanna split one with me?”

“split one?” yoongi scoffs and bends down a little so he can look you directly in the eye, the corner of his mouth curling upwards in a teasing smirk, “baby, i’ll get you your very own mcflurry-”

(it turns out that taehyung actually planned to end things tonight, too - he said if you ever made your way back to his bar he’d give you a cocktail on the house! so, it looks like you can have your cake and eat it too.)

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 3 years

Text

Never felt the rain

Summary: Could you write something with Bill having a young daughter and when she asks him to go playing outside in the rain while he was working, he brushed her off, so she went out on own her own and got lost, so Bill thinks she went missing like Georgie?

A/N: here you go anon, I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think, it would mean a lot! Also, thank you for requesting this, it had me writing again after a long time and I really missed it, so thank you

Bill has a habit of writing as soon as rain starts drizzling from the sky. He doesn’t usually maintain a schedule, especially not after going back to Derry for a second time an gaining six friends who flitted straight back into his life and who each deserved as much of his time as the others, but when it rains, he forces himself behind the computer.

He draws the curtains shut, puts on a pair of noise cancelling headphones, and hopes that the downpour stops soon. According to his therapist, it’s because the weather reminds him of the day Georgie died and he turns to writing as a distraction, and while she might not be wrong, Bill prefers not to think about the specifics. All he knows is that as soon as dark clouds gather, he retreats to his study.

Audra knows this, and has, to Bills great shame, been a victim to his snappish behavior when he gets disturbed, so she leaves him be, and takes their daughter, Lily, on a mother daughter retreat. It’s their own routine that work well for the both of them, and so far, there haven’t been any problems with it.

Today, the bad weather struck out of nowhere, the rain spatters drumming their own beat on the windows and the foundation of the house, and Bill and remembers how bleak Georgie’s last day on earth had been. He retreats to his study in quiet without informing his daughter or wife about his plans, and slips into an imaginary world, where there’s no rain or bad memories.

He gets lost in it, thankfully. The rhythmic tapping of his keyboard and his own hushed voice lull him into a state so fully focused it allows him to forgo his environment. That includes ignoring the rain, but also the wooden door opening behind him as a small child sneaks in, big blue eyes full of a playful innocence.

He doesn’t hear Lily calling out to him, and is only notified of her arrival when her hand tugs on the sleeve of his shirt. It startles him, a cursed ‘Jesus’, slipping from his mouth before he clamps his teeth over his lips to stop more from tumbling out.

‘Daddy’, Bill reads of his daughters face, before he finally clads off the headset and hears her voice filter through.

She’s Georgie’s age now, and she resembles him a lot. For one, she looks up to her dad with as much wonder as her uncle did, a daddy’s girl through and through. She has the Knick for adventure too, though Bill is not sure that’s always a good thing.

‘What is it honey?’ He asks her with a soft voice. He suppresses the twinge of annoyance, now he’s broken out of his concentration, it’s hard not to notice the outside, and it’ll be difficult to reenter his writing groove.

‘Can we play outside?’ She suggest, lips contorted in a devious little smile that proves that Audra must have said no to her question, and she’s now trying her hand at the person she has wrapped around her finger.

Bill’s gut reaction is to agree. How could he not, when he made the promise to himself to always be the best dad he could be, ever since finding out Audra was pregnant. He swore to himself that he’d never neglect his child, never put her on the backburner for anyone or anything, and that he’d enjoy, relish in every memory he’d be allowed to make with her.

But, he can’t. Not in this situation. Not when Pennywise only came back a mere four months ago, and he was forced into painful memories and past mistakes. Not when he’s relatively convinced that IT’s gone for real, but not 100% assured.

He smiles painfully, and gently pulls his daughter in his lap. It’s not so much that he’s trying to spoil his daughter, it’s just that he loves spending time with her as much as she adores spending time with him. His heart twinges painfully at the notion of disappointing her.

‘Not right now Lil, Daddy’s working.’ He presses a kiss on the top of her head, and squeezes her a bit tighter when a particularly hard downpour causes his heart to clench painfully. If only he had given Georgie a hug like this before letting him out that day.

It’s far too late for that regret now, but he won’t allow the same fate to be bestowed upon his daughter.

‘Please?’ Lily pouts, blinking her eyes in a way that is entirely disarming. She’s so good at convincing, she would make an excellent actress one day. ‘It’ll be so much fun.’ She leans in closer on Bill’s lap, bumping her forehead against Bill’s chest. ‘I promise I won’t step in any puddles.’

It’s a complete lie of course, and Bill can’t help but grin at the idea of Lilly thinking she’s being sneaky about the whole thing, but still, he can’t concur.

‘Later, alright buttercup? And I promise that I’ll spend an entire day with you tomorrow?’

Lily doesn’t smile, so Bill does the one thing he’s become a pro at since becoming a dad; ticking her until she can’t help but laugh.

She shrieks instantly, squirming away from Bill’s fingers as the dance over her sides until she’s nearly toppled of his lip in her haste to escape him, and then giggles long after Bill’s stopped.

Once that too dies out, she bites her lip, seemingly scanning her chances of getting him to agree on going out anyway, but then she concedes.

‘Alright then’, she says a little bit disheartened, but agreeing none the less. She slitters back out as quiet as she came in, but not before a kiss over her shoulder and waving at Bill.

‘See you later dad.’

Bill smiles and waves back, crushed by love and grief battling in his heart for the upper hand, then he puts on his headphone, covers his ears, and he neglects to hear the front door open and lock with a deafening pull.

----

In the end, it’s the guilt that makes him give up only a half hour after Lilly came in to ask for his time. He peruse the last line he’d written, he hadn’t managed to find his flow after the interruption anyway, and closes the document of his new book for the day.

He still can’t find the strength to go outside in this weather but perhaps he can convince Lily that watching a movie and snacking on popcorn is a much better activity then getting wet and cold.

He shuffles into the kitchen, where Audra’s is already at, and wonders if they have enough corn to put together homemade popcorn.

‘Do you think Lily will want to watch a movie? I’m thinking Disney might be the way to go?’ He inquires Audra absentmindedly while scouring the pantries for the ingredients he needs. He knows, just from the sounds of Audra’s voice that something’s the matter.

‘She’s not with you?’ Audra chokes out, voice pinched in panic.

Bill’s heart stops for a full second, before rabbiting so hard his chest feels like exploding.

‘What?’ He asks, but the words feel foreign, like he’s not the one saying it. Audra’s responding look is enough to give him all the answers he needs.

----

The rain remains unforgiven towards Bill, the background of the yet another great tragedy in his life. Cliché as it is, it does help cover up his tears, about the only positive thing in his situation right now. Audra is next to him, on the same level of utter panic as Bill’s, but he hopes for her sake that he appears more composed then he actually is.

He viciously wishes for the losers to be with him now, but calling them would take up to much time and they live too far away to be of any aid anyway.

His neighbors are aiding in the search, but they’re not enough. He doesn’t trust them like he trust his friends, he doesn’t want the life of his daughter depending on strangers.

They keep telling him that she’s fine, that she’s most likely having the time of her life without realizing how her parents are in shambles, but Bill can’t believe that. Lily’s been out for at least thirty minutes, that’s the time they noticed she had disappeared, and even Bill is shivering his socks off. He can’t afford to think about how cold Lily must be.

He separates from the group of searches after the weird glances he receives unsettled peeks when he ducks on his knees and calls out for his daughter in a sewer. Audra, who knows in part what happened to Georgie, lets out a sob.

Bill feels bad for leaving his wife all by herself, but he wants to cover as much ground as possible. He can’t wait at their front porch praying for Lily’s safe return, he knows from experience how feeble that is.

The options of where Lily could be are limited. Her friends live too far away for her to have walked to them, and there was only one place kids of her age liked to hang out. Still, when the park turns up nothing, he scours the area surrounding it, yelling out Lily’s name until his voice skips and a hoarse tone underline his words.

‘P-p-please.’ He screams with his head thrown back towards the sky, his stutter going unnoticed. ‘H-haven’t you t-t-taken enough from m-m-me?’ He’s unsure who he’s calling out too.

Bill’s attention is pulled towards a curtain that wobbles open, and old lady peeking from behind it, judging him with curious eyes. The first one to gossip apparently, but the last to help. Just as with Georgie. Bile threatened to spill as Bill walks on.

With his energy running low, as does his hope, Bill concedes to try and walk in the other direction of his home, to see if anyone else has had more luck than him. Then, seemingly using up all of Bill’s luck for the rest of his life, a wobbled; ‘Daddy’, cries out.

He’s never backed up so quick, and when he lays eyes on Lily, he’s never run that fast towards her either. It’s the pure and utter fear you experience as a kid, when you get lost in a comic in the store and you swivel back around to your mom, but she’s gone somewhere and you can’t find her.

That’s the feeling that linger when you lose someone close to you. And when she pops back up, that’s the utter relief Bill gets to taste now.

He’s back on his knees before he can comprehend it, and his hand curls around Lily’s back and head, cradling her so close this chest it’s nearly suffocating. Bill weeps, caressing his daughters hair as he checks her over.

‘Oh honey’, he chokes, swelling multiple times to force back the lump of tears.

Lily’s crying too, though it seems more out of reluctant than anything else.

‘I’m sorry dad. I just wanted to go out and play. But I fell and I think my bike is broken. I’m really sorry.’

Bill sorrow laughs. He can’t stop the ridiculous laughter that’s so absurd.

‘Lily, I couldn’t care less about a bike’, Bill explains, and he means it every bit. He pulls her back in a tight hug, allowing himself ten more seconds before he has to let go of her.

‘Please don’t ever do that again,’ he whispers, leaving a quick kiss on her head. He holds her as close as he wish he could have done to Georgie, if he had been found alive too. Maybe later, tomorrow or the day after, he’d have a more firm conversation about how sneaking out is not okay, but today, the relief wins over every other emotion or lecture.

‘Is mom mad?’ Lily asks, her own arms clenched around Bill’s shirt so tight it’s clear that she also had a large fright.

Shit, Audra. In an instant, Bill picks up his daughter, arm holding her up by the knees. She’s old enough to walk, but Bill has longer legs and walks faster.

‘No’, he assures her, despite a conformation of Audra. He’s sure his feeling are rekindled in his wife too. ‘But we have to let her know you’re okay. She’s worried too.’

‘Okay’, Lily agrees easy, her head resting on Bill’s shoulders. The rain isn’t that cold anymore, now that he has his child back in the safety of his arms.

----

That evening, Bill, Audra and Lily are cuddles together on their couch, watching Aladdin. Lily has long slipped to the land of dreams, but Bill and Audra want to keep her close for a little while longer. Maybe they’ll all spend the night here anyway, regardless of future back pains, but that’s a discussion for later.

Bill swipes one of Lily’s curls from her forehead gently, smiling when she snores deeper, then settles again.

‘Love you buttercup.’ Bill says, in his mind, he thinks, ‘I’ll never let anything happen to you.’

#request #My writing #bill denbrough #bill denbrough imagines #bill denbrough as a dad #bill denbrough x daughter #the losers club imagines #it chapter two imagine #adult losers #adult Bill denbrough #audra

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