#also all this stuff is totally up to plot like !! it's my interpretation rn and

[ilovebeingt4t]

a (not) little rant about total drama’s portrayal of dissociative identity disorder in ROTI and AS

a few little tidbits before we get into the juice…

-i don’t have DID ! i have a dissociation disorder and i’ve done a lot of research on DID, but that obviously doesn’t mean i know as much as someone in a system would. if i make any mistakes or you want to add/correct anything, please do !

-since there isn’t an official name for the system as a whole, i’m gonna use “mike system” to refer to mike, chester, svetlana, vito, manitoba, and mal as a system

-before anyone says it, i know it’s “just a kids’ show” but it’s a kids’ show i’m insane and not normal about. so i’m very passionate about this. also kids’ shows should still be normal about mental illnesses/disabilities so idc

alright stinkers… let’s get into it

ok ! mike systems DID in ROTI isn’t GOOD representation but it isn’t like. the worst out there compared to some other media. some huge positives are the way the alters have actual triggers, and that everyone in the system IS portrayed as their own person, not just an extension or part of mike. i interpret the “gasp” the body does with switches as a stand in for dissociation (since they couldn’t really have him just sit there and stare into space bc of plot/time reasons) and it’s very easy to assume the role of everyone in the system from their personalities and triggers. the best example of this to me is vito ! vito is a “tough guy” who’s triggered to front by his shirt coming off, it’s easy to put the pieces together and assume his role is a protector who formed due to sexual abuse.

obviously, the use of the outdated term multiple personality disorder, the very quick switches, the fact the writers obviously did not actually research DID and just wanted a silly crazy character, and probably more i’m forgetting rn, are NOT issues to just ignore because of the good stuff. it’s definitely NOT good or super accurate representation by any means, but i don’t think it’s exactly super bad either. it’s iffy but has redeeming qualities to it.

another plus about mike system in ROTI, even though this isn’t really part of the portrayal of DID as a disorder, is that mike has a love interest that isn’t written as a joke. i feel like having mike in a romantic relationship is a BIG positive representation wise. it’s really important to me that even though zoey is confused and weirded out when she didn’t know what was going on, once she found out mike was part of a system she became more understanding and didn’t give up on him. being part of a system doesn’t mean you can’t have a partner, friends, etc and mike being in a wholesome healthy relationship is a nice breath of fresh air compared to other media portraying DID.

NOW. LETS ADDRESS MAL AND ALL STARS. GOOD LORD.

all stars has an issue with watering down characters and making poor plot/character choices in general, and in my opinion it’s the worst with mike system. ROTI had questionable at times but ok DID rep with mike system, which is why it’s so disappointing that AS took the “evil alter” route and whatever the hell the button thing was… bc they were SO close with having ok representation and then they threw it all away for an overdone and harmful stereotype. mike system in ROTI is a MASTERPIECE compared to whatever the hell was going on in AS.

even when you take into account that in a real life system, mal is most similar to the role of a persecutor (an alter who sabotages the body’s relationships and causes harm to the body/other alters as a way to “protect” everyone in their eyes (oops ! i was wrong. a persecutor isn’t always a protector, however they can take the role of a persecutor and protector which is where i got confused. mal is a both a persecutor and protector to me)) which makes SOME of his actions explainable TO AN EXTENT, it’s clear the writers didn’t have that intent and just wanted a spooky evil alter, which is really disappointing. along with the button issue, which is just…. so insane….

i choose to believe for my own sanity that the button was sort of an emergency temporary dormancy button and that chester fr just lied/didn’t know and made something up. but that obviously isn’t canon, and IN CANON the body’s trauma and serious disorder was literally gone because of the PRESS OF A BUTTON and it is absolutely ridiculous. and it’s portrayed as a GOOD THING.

systems are systems because it is the only way the body and brain can maintain stability and live after serious repeated trauma. in a real situation with a system, if there was somehow a way to get rid of alters in literal seconds, the consequences would be ABSOLUTELY DISASTROUS and unstable. obviously, integration and dormancy CAN be a good thing depending on the system, but it is a LOOONG and complicated process and watering it down to the press of a button in your brain is so inappropriate and insensitive. literally why did they do that. it’s just so disappointing to go from what mike system was in roti to what they became in all stars.

sorry u guys i am just passionate about this

[ping-ski]

Hewwo!!! :3 I hope you are having an amazing day, here is a whole plate of cupcakes! Would it be possible for you to share a few lore details about your Eclipsed By You AU story? I keep looking at the designs and I am so curious about what will be happening, I would wish to nibble on tiny lore crumbs, pretty please?

ama!! hihi! ! i meant to answer your ask much sooner! anyways, since you asked so nicely (and because i am pathetically weak to any sweets </3) prepare for some SERIOUS yappage under that cut

✦ AuDHD demands that I explain EBY origins before any details but you can totally skip this if you want! (Scroll till you see blue text! :3) So... Eclipsed By You was intended to be au/fic just for myself after work when I first got into DCA. I literally was pantsing a self-insert fic from just gameplay, voicelines, and a collection of scenarios I wrote in my notes app before I actually interacted with the DCA fandom lol. I was already in the process of writing it to be a proper fic and planned to make an AO3 acc to post it! I took some time away from it tho cause I got busy irl. During my break I did start to interact more the fandom! The first proper DCA fic I read was 'Solar Lunacy' by BamSara a few months back as a recommendation from a mutual I had from another fandom. I had told them about my fic idea and they suggested I read the fic as my fic had reminded them of SL. After reading through, I was kind of bummed initially because I really didn't think I had anything unique to offer with my own fic that I was hoping to share. I stopped writing it cause damn comparison truly is the thief of joy. SL and EBY had similar ideas going on and I just didn't feel like it was worth posting my fic cause it didn't feel "special" to me anymore. It was easy to give up since writing is really not my strong suit at all, so then I fell back to just drawing! I only came back to it despite the 19 other DCA aus I have lined up rn cause honestly I remembered that wrote it for my own enjoyment! Why did that have to change? Albeit, I did scrap lots of what I initially wrote and started fresh cause my interpretation of DCA changed. Regardless, EBY was always going to be a self-indulgent DCA/Reader fic taking place at the Pizza Plex. Sure not anything original, but that's just a fact of being a creative in general tbh. I felt silly when I realized that haha. I'm having fun and they make me smile, so who cares if its been done before lol. I still enjoy Solar Lunacy and still am a fan of BamSara! (the cotl content has been fueling me lmao)

✦ Some bits on Eclipsed By You- The main part of your ask lol! ✿ On the au/fic name: I actually stole it from another au (of the many) I have. No particular reason for it! I was writing EBY and that au around the same time and alternated working on the two throughout the day. That au is now nameless (actually it's nicknamed "Messiah" as I type) cause EBY grew onto me for what it is now! ✿ On DCA's designs: This might be kind of disappointing lol but- there isn't much of a lore/plot reason for their designs? They just look that way cause... why not :3 It's also part of just how I interpret DCA into my artstyle. Otherwise, they can be interpreted as the canon designs early on! Atleast until some future upgrades! ✿ When in SB are we? Everywhere /hj. EBY will have some pre-virus and post-virus stuff just for funsies! I'm dying to yap but if I say anymore I will get carried away 100%. ✿ On EBY!Eclipse: For this au, Eclipse is his own "person" you could say. With his own AI and personality chip to pair! Carefully built to be a dedicated host and theater bot. He is, including Sun and Moon, the entertainment <3. They are a singular animatronic in this fic! (like those 3 in 1 soaps except it's DCA /j) ✿ On EBY!Y/N: (EBY is a reader-insert, but intended to be written as gender neutral and an adult.) Y/N gets their own bit of lore and issues that may or may not be the stress/frustration from my 2 irl jobs thinly veiled lmao. They work part-time at the Plex as a general theater staff member! Each week, their tasks rotating between concessions, being an usher, and working along side the theater bots! (Kind of like a theater tech.) This is a part-time job just to keep them afloat while they work on their last bit of certifications and training to be a caretaker! They are pretty passionate about helping those in need. A sweetheart honestly. Though, if you don't like kids, maybe look away. Wholesome moments with the littles and DCA + Y/N is pretty decent with kids themselves. (Lots of projection from my own experiences working with children and elderly, as a caregiver turned caretaker. I kind of want to highlight some of my experiences with Y/N.) ✿ On EBY!Sun and Moon: These two are goofballs alongside Eclipse through and through. They all get to be sweet, soft, and doting I promise. Originally, before scrapping a good chunk of the og writing, EBY had a beloved sweetheart anxous Sun and aggressive Moon who was kind of an asshole(Before the rewrite, EBY felt so different. Like everyone was just tolerating eachother and fragments being held together with glitter glue n' dreams. I am very very glad it's different now lol.) Eclipse stayed fairly consistent though. Sweet house husband that he is. Now, Sun is just as unhinged as Moon (making him just as much as a threat!), but we will persevere with the power of friendship <3 We're gonna have some aloof Sun moments. He takes his job pretty seriously! Some goofy Moon bits who's giggles are light and airy. He is very unserious I fear. They're both trying their best, in their own ways. There's not much I can say rn without spoiling haha. It's hard to stay vague hrm. Or atleast I can't think of anything specific to add right now. (I may be able to answer some specific questions if you have any, my brain is just foggy rn) ✿ I'm simplifying it down to your "typical pizza plex fic" with pre-virus and post-fire shenanigans. I'm sorry if none of that is telling I can't think of anything specific cause I'm pretty sleepy rn so maybe it's a little boring sounding but I love it anyways haha Expect some canon-typical violence and non-sexual intimacy! I have intentions on writing the relationship between Y/N and DCA ambiguous so it can be seen as queerplatonic or romantic. (But this could very easily changed, I'm a shameless robokisser sigh.)

[secret-third-thing]

Hi! What kinds of Eris fics are you most excited to read (whether plot wise, character introspection, certain aesthetics, etc.)? And what kind of Eris fics are you most excited to write?

HI! ❤️ So I want to preface this by saying I will read any and all Eris stuff! I am always happy to see such a wide range of interpretations of his character / story! It doesn't matter if it matches my preference or not! What's important to me is that people feel safe and excited to share their work about Eris.

Also I feel almost a little bad that you're asking me b/c I feel like the Eris fandom weirdo 🥲 A lot of people write him in ships, which is totally fine. However, I am craving more General Eris fic with no romance at all. Send him on adventures, have him solve a mystery, force him to make amends with his family. There's so much that can be written about Eris that doesn't include sex or romance.

BUT as far as romance goes, Any ship is fine. I just like a lot of yearning. Not angst, which (to me) always has this undertone of anxiety, but actual longing - soft, quiet, and sad. Give me Eris watching Lucien fall in love with Elain and feeling quietly devastated since he believes he will never feel that way about anyone. Eris eventually moves on and learns to find love in other ways - maybe an inner circle of friends, or through interacting with his brothers' children. Maybe he befriends an old fae couple. Eventually he finds happiness and contentment and love for himself and that's enough. That's what I'm into. Oops that didn't have a ship. LMAO toss nesta or az or a secret third option in there. idk pair him up with elain if you're feeling spicy

...Which kinda bleeds into what you've asked as far as what I'm excited to write. I'll be completely honest. If I ever write Eris in a romance (other than BITW, which is intentionally supposed to be more court intrigue-y) it's more for the fandom than for my personal enjoyment. I feel a lot of pressure to write romance, so I do, and then I'm very slow about it haha. But I do it cause I like yall a lot and gift giving is how i show affection when I don't know people personally.

I don't really know what I'm excited about. I want to write more creepy things. Or fae things. Or creepy fae things, but truthfully I'm a little burned out. This is a shame, of course, because it looks like i've not written a lot this year, which is so far from the truth - most of it was just original fiction. But C'est la vie. I feel so bad about my writing rn that I'm not sure I'd say I'm excited about anything, but I certainly am intrigued. And I'll take that over feeling nothing at all.

[hdstrng]

(  some  assorted  details  on  the  reincarnation  au  )      taylor’s  life  runs  quite  a  few  parallels  to  tanya’s  in  the  modern  setting   —   things  like  painting  her  tire  swing  as  a  kid  and  dying  her  hair  red  were  her  own  ideas  and  were  unknowingly  influenced  by  the  life  before.      her  character  was  never  far  off,    either.      always  outspoken,    a  free  spirit,    and  when  the  time  came  for  her  to  go  off  to  college,    she  finally  got  the  taste  of  freedom  she’d  always  craved  from  the  clarke  household.      when  they  get  to  l.ittle  h.ope,    the  times  seem  to  blend  together  in  a  way.

          tabitha  was  a  little  different.      opinionated  and  responsible,    yes,    but  not  as  willful  as  the  future  girls.      she  was  more  willing  to  be  influenced  by  others  and  hope  to  steer  things  her  way  as  it  goes,    but  it  didn’t  exactly  work  out  for  her.      her  future  incarnates  are  more  forceful  as  a  result,    trusting  their  own  gut  response  over  anyone  else’s   —   perhaps  too  much.

          as  for  vince  in  the  present,    my  take  would  be  that  the  first  time  he  sees  the  group,    he  doesn’t  believe  what  he  sees,    thinks  he’s  just  had  too  much  to  drink  and  is  starting  to  see  things   —   and  he  pretty  much  continues  to  assume  this  through  the  night  until  andrew  straight  up  crashes  into  him  as  they’re  all  running  to  the  church.      maybe  the  demons  don’t  appear  to  him  because  he  wasn’t  seen  to  really  be  involved  in  the  cycle ?      and  so  andrew  taking  a  shot  seemingly  aimed  at  him  only  brings  back  all  kinds  of  old  frustrations  to  a  new  level.

          now  like.      sole  survivor  au ???      andrew’s  own   ‘ test ’   boils  down  to  his  choice  of  who  to  condemn  during  the  witch  trials,    and  blaming  mary  gets  him  killed  at  the  house    (  instead  of  just  offing  everyone  no  matter  what  choice  they  personally  made  ).      vince  comes  by  her  sitting  by  the  house  in  the  morning  and  with  a  short  exchange,    directs  her  to  the  diner  down  the  road.      he’s  strangely  more  sympathetic  towards  her  than  she’s  seen  him  acting  all  night  with  the  others.      she  stumbles  into  the  diner  so  distraught  that  her  waitress  calls  for  help  and  gives  her  some  breakfast  on  the  house.

          her  story  to  those  who  ask  is  that  she  was  on  a  field  trip  when  her  bus  crashed ,    and  she  woke  up  nearing  dawn  with  everyone  missing.      she  walked  through  town  trying  to  find  them,    but  came  out  with  nothing  and  no  one . . .    so  the  police  conduct  a  search.      but  there  is  no  one  left  to  find   —   as  far  as  she  knows,    what  was  left  of  her  friends  disappeared  into  the  fog.      she  goes  back  to  school,    tries  to  move  on,    but  nothing  will  ever  quite  be  the  same.

[bookofmirth]

after rereading the series and finally finishing silver flames ( which i truly enjoyed, even when there were points which felt disappointing and a little incoherent ) i feel like i can finally pinpoint what is so jarring to me regarding this series. It just seems so disjointed, which becomes especially apparent after reading MaF and the immediately reading WaR.

We move from the first two novels of the series, which are coherent and clean, to WaR - which is hoenstly just a mess, something which was so blatant to me on the reread. during this time, it’s clear that sjm made several massive changes to link this book to the future spin offs, and also obviously changes her original plan to pair mor and azriel - which monumentally changes the way that the previous book is read, and the perception of their characters.

Even with FaS - setting up for cassian and nestas story, sjm completely changes direction between this release and silver flames. And all of that lead up with the Illyrian rebellions and cassians not being respected as a bastard, and his mission fighting for Illyrian female rights - amounts to absolutely nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, I really really enjoyed silver flames, and perhaps some of these ideas will crop up in azriels book and therefore won’t be wasted. But it just makes the series feel disjointed and leaves me at least, feeling unfulfilled.

Sjm is such a good author, in ToG the plot was expertly executed and when you reread the series, you can see hints and foreshadowing even back to book one. She knew exactly where she was going almost from the beginning, and each decision and plot point was used to create impact and build up to the ending. I don’t get that with acotar.

There is so so so much build, and almost no pay off - and I really got that sense in acosf, I loved it as a stand alone - but when we look at it through the perspective of the entire series, there were things which grated and a lot of things which I felt were built up to and nothing happened... Tomas, Cassians mother ( was so sure we would learn where she was buried at least ) the Illyrian rebellions and the Illyrians hatred and disrespect towards Cassian, Mor and Nestas relationship, CASSIAN AND MORS RELATIONSHIP ( I understand that the mor situation will be something which is focused upon primarily in azriels book, or hopefully her own, however their relationship involves Cassian as much as them both and I really wish Cassian had actually confronted the part he played in that whole situation - a part he played for 500 (!!!!) years. It’s a role which he was unable to relinquish in ACOWAR, and actively rejects Nesta to act as a buffer multiple times, seeing it as an obligation almost - and then in SF, pays it no attention at all. Feyre and Nestas relationship also isn’t really touched upon, as if that final act healed everything - what about that interrupted conversation in the library, when Nesta was cut off ? Why Nesta always favoured Elain, even Amren and Nesta - we still don’t really know what happened there... argh there’s just so much potential and so much set up, and it just seems forgotten about ? It makes the book seem disjointed and a bit of a let down.

Yesss I totally get what you mean here. ToG is honestly the superior series, and it’s because it has the cohesion that acotar doesn’t. Everything feels like it’s meant to be there, each character, each worldbuilding detail, their histories, everything just comes together in a wonderful way that just wrecked me when EoS came out and then was resolved perfectly in KoA.

Compared to that, acotar feels like sjm is figuring things out along the way and it is seriously driving me nuts. I’ve had multiple conversations with other people in Discords and they’ve said similar things. acotar at this point feels like sjm is just coming up with random ass ideas and throwing them in. No book in the series feels more like that than acowar. And it was that point where we knew that there would be more books, right? So combined with the fact that she pounded that book out and it got rather half-assed editing, you’re probably right that a lot of things were changed in order to set up the other books, even though it didn’t make sense with what she’d written before. 

I agree with you re: Mor and Az, and I feel like I’ve been seeing more people say that lately? That there is a feeling that they actually were supposed to be together and she changed her mind? I wrote a bunch of fics for them back in the day and they’ve gotten a bit more attention lately. But once acowar came out I was like, I’m gonna reread, and I’m gonna find all the clues, I’m gonna see where all this build-up was, and.... considering how often people say that sjm is so “good” at foreshadowing, I’m sorry, but not in this series. In ToG, yes, because she had a clear goal at the end! She knew where she was going and she stayed on that path. In acotar, idfk. Anyway my point is that I’ve reread the series a couple of times through since acowar came out and I’m still over here shrugging because up until that point, Mor and Az could be read in completely opposite ways. (Maybe it’s an Azriel thing, given the current discourse, idk.)

I will say, however, that we had clues that there was tension between them and I had noted that Az is quiet troubled and even pre-acomaf, I would not have been surprised by his extra in acosf. But all of that could have been addressed with Mor and Az still being together? We all had plenty of explanations at the time for the tension, and Mor being queer was like 1 of 100 of those explanations. 

If we look at Mor’s character through the books we have so far, I still see almost zero signs that she’s queer except for her literally saying “I like women and Rita’s has a lot of women and here’s my gay story”. Other than that, there is like..... nothing that feels organically queer about her!!! And I love her and I want her to be gay af!!!! But I wonder if my forgiveness of how acowar went down was more about my personal reaction than how well the story was actually done.

And the fact that, like you said, there is still no resolution to the fact that Cassian is supposedly a buffer between Mor and Azriel? Like???? We were all sitting here after acowar thinking “okay, well if she’s gay then someone knows. Someone has to know. She can’t just be gay and NO ONE WHO LOVES HER KNOWS.” 

Then in comes acosf with a big “fuck you, y’all thought” which just.... to me, it signals that her queerness was an afterthought. It’s still an afterthought because her queerness is limited to Mor and women blushing at her and Mor has her corner of the world in which she can be gay, but that gay never spills out into any other aspect of her life. It’s just conveniently isolated so that it doesn’t touch or affect other characters. 

In terms of continuity, acowar was such a huge shifting point in the series that people left in droves. It was a huge mess in the fandom. And then acofas was just fluff with no real point in pushing the story forward - even the Nesta stuff was a sneak peek, it had nothing to do with acofas itself. And now acosf comes in ignoring things she had set up previously, with almost zero nuanced discussion of the Cassian/Azriel/Mor thing, which means she still (?) doesn’t know what’s going on there. And I think that we did get some answers with Nesta’s reflection on her relationship with her mother, but the deal with the Illyrian rebellion was just in the way so let’s nix that, and then let’s focus on Eris (🤮) just because she feels like it even though she’s set up all these other characters whose stories need more. (Much like acowar, this paragraph is a MESS LOL)

And yes I KNOW that the series isn’t over, clearly, but she keeps setting things up and then letting them go nowhere, or making them seem important and then resolving them off-page, or changing character relationships (Mor and Az) but then having the characters involved act exactly the same, as if nothing had changed (by having the “buffer” situation still exist as a real thing).

I did enjoy the book, a lot, it was a fun read. But tbh we have so many arguments and disagreements within the fandom rn because things have been so left open to interpretation that we it’s not even a matter of “oh I saw this slightly differently”, it’s “WHAT book did these people even read???” That’s kinda weird, to me. There is reader response, and then there is what we have now, which is people having absolute opposite reactions to what they think happened in acosf. 

[animalinvestigator]

hi ok i watched petscop a while ago & found ur art in the tumblr tag (so amazing btw u have such a cool style) & i really like petscop but a lot of the plot is still difficult for me to understand bc of the mysterious nature of the narrative, so i was wondering if u would ever consider writing out your interpretation of the plot / characters, or if you have any links to other people's explanations of the story that u think are good. thank u & take care!!

hello! thank you very much for your kind compliments! im always glad to help out with things like this because i love any excuse to talk about petscop lol. its totally natural and expected to be confused! i think a lot of the story is best experienced through being confused and puzzling things together yourself. when it comes to helping people understand petscop i tend to recommend resources in one of two ways: if you want to put in a little extra legwork and solve things for yourself, that's one way, and i'll link a few resources that might help with that! on the other hand, if you want a more straightforward explanation, i also have something that can help with that n_n here they are

two big links for solving it on your own:

petscop comprehensive progress document - this is an extremely thorough long-standing guide containing pretty much everything you could ever need to know about petscop. it lays out all the objective evidence as well as pretty much every available theory. that being said, its over 100 pages long, so i don't recommend reading the whole thing obviously ; you might use it to look exclusively at the theories , or to fact check information on specific characters or topics!

petscop by piece order - petscops upload order doesnt accurately reflect the actual series of events. watching through a second time in this speculative chronological order might clear up some confusion! in general i find that rewatching the series once or twice after your first go through is a lot of help in either order, but thats a lot of commitment, so i wont just say "watch it again" haha

i also havent personally watched them, but trusted confidantes tell me that nightmare masterclass's videos on petscop are pretty good + cover a lot of bases. the catch is they're very long and were released while the series was coming out, so there might be a fair amount of missing / incorrect information in the earlier videos.

additionally if theres anything specific you want cleared up, im happy to answer any questions you might have , just shoot me an ask! i would write out my own interpretation, but it would be like, 2000 pages long, so i tend to only be able to answer things that are somewhat speicfic (i.e concerning only one or two plot points, characters, concepts etc at a time)

(im fuzzy brained rn so i might edit this later with some additional stuff n_n)

if you want it laid out really simply for you though, the best place to go for that is this amazing video by my friend oliver! (hi oliver)

its a really informed retrospective that i agree with on nearly every single point, and he somehow managed to fit it all into 10 minutes. there's also a couple additional resources he links in the description that might be useful as well.

no one reading of petscop is objectively correct so i hope you will have fun figuring out what interpretation of the story means the most to you! feel free to ask anymore questions you might have, and you take care too!! :)

[calpalsworld]

Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot 

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

[consciouschunkofmoss]

I don’t think my ask ever sent😭but we’ll re-do it. Off topic but do you ever refer to yourself as we? Sometimes I do it without realizing it or other times I do it when I or I’ll just doesn’t feel right yknow🤔 I hope that made sense😅

Anyways back to the before topic, I couldn’t type Mr.Golds name either😂 I like rumple for short but not when saying it out loud because rumpelstiltskin *I had to google it* has a nice ring to it. I could honestly just sit there and repeat his name over and over again without getting bored.

I find the “villainous” characters to be more interesting, especially when you get to see a part of their history and how they came to be. And can sort of figure out there thought process by their actions and what they say. I also love when we don’t know what happened to them and can make up different scenarios in our head and see what other peoples creative minds think as well.✨

Slasher movies are da bomb.com😌 I didn’t watch as many during October which was my plan but I’m hoping they’re still on HBO max😅I’m so behind on watching the stuff that’s come out this year that I don’t think I’ll be able to catch back up🤓 Ooo when I get back to watching it I’ll definitely hit up your inbox💫

oh im sorry about that :( it happens to me as well but i never really know if they end up sending or not sjxhsjxs :")

but anyway, i do that as well !! sometimes i like to do that on purpose to suit my synesthesia needs (like. we being a word that considerably yellow to me, so putting it in an equally yello phrase is very cool ngl) but also theres just times where i say it without even noticing too haha (both in english and portuguese, actually)

and same !! his name is so satisfying to say out loud, but i do prefer using rumple in normal conversations bc it feels more natural imo

(also yes i do have conversations about ouat in my day-to-day life lmao my mother also watches this show so we tend to talk about it)

and i totally agree with you !! literally everything that there is to characters that are not titled as 100% good come to be very very interesting to me, as i am wholeheartedly devoted to analyzing characters like this and the narratives they reside in 💕😌 so like. zelena, regina, rumple and even belle are totally my favorites in terms of nuance because of the amount of good content that can be taken from them out of this complexitiy that they hold (even outside of their own motives and objectives that co-relate with the main plot)

having characters that can be molded by the very spectator's eyes and perspective over their course throughout the story is also something i love very very much ! being glados an example of a character that holds all of these clear defects and nuances, but that we are never shown the source from where they come - which then leaves such a huge opening towards the players' very own interpretations and hcs - is why i absolutely love her and analyzing the very core of her personality too ^^

OH AND SO TRUE ! i have a list with me rn so if you want any recommendations i can totally give you some !! (even for ones that arent particularly slasher ones but still pretty good and on the same lane of "old horror movies who are kinda silly but still pretty cool" lol)

im also on the same boat lmao i havent been up to date for quite some time with recent releases of literally any kinds of genres sjxhjxs

and please do !! i would love to talk about horror movies with you ! <3

[coconut-cluster]

Hihi!!! Uhh, so, do you have any headcanons or, like, anything you wanna rant about rn? I'm kinda lookin for something distracting! If you don't have anything, please don't dig for anything, just, if you have anything you had ideas fr but cant connect to anything, id love to hear them? um, have a good day!! thank you

oh yeah no problem!! under the cut because i’m adhd and when i write down one idea thirteen different ones pop up in my mind

i’m still stuck on Roman and Janus’ back and forth insulting from POF, mostly the fact that no one just said “hey roman that was mean but also you’re not evil” like. it could have been that easy man. just Patton or Thomas cutting them off and being like “okay we don’t laugh at each other, say sorry, and we don’t use someone’s biggest insecurity as a jab, come on man,” and then they could have kept the convo going. but no Thomas is a mess and his selflessness and creativity had to swing at each other huh

honestly i’m also still stuck on Roman at the very least feeling manipulated during SvsS and then no one taking a moment to realize that’s where his grudge is coming from in the Redux. like Thomas and Patton were so disappointed that Ro wasn’t gung ho to trust Janus but if they spent like two more seconds thinking about why maybe that would have cleared up like half the episode’s conflicts 

but conflict is good for plot so i get it lol

but speaking of Roman having a grudge against Janus, i would love to explore that in like a human au, especially with Virgil’s grudge. like Roman watching his friends (and his brother) be close and cozy with someone who he feels slighted by (or worse depending on your interpretation), and Virgil just being scowl-y in general @ Janus, so they just bond over their mutual grudge and air their grievances to each other

unrelated to that entirely, i’m genuinely a tad annoyed with the wave of “roman being a jock in human au’s is ridiculous, he’s a theatre geek through and through” in the fandom because:

one, if we’re talking tropes, Roman being social and popular is completely believable, even if he’s a little awkward or geeky

two, Thomas has called Roman a little jock (in response to really cute art of him in running/workout gear by Brei Grace iirc) before so it’s not like it’s totally out of left field

three, people are multifaceted and can be a theatre geek and play sports guys High School Musical covered this in depth

four, theatre kids?? dance?? and it’s not unbelievable that they’d like exercising to work with that?

five, you can make your own headcanons about a character without demeaning or degrading someone else’s. the attitude of “that’s so stupid” i’ve seen with this hc in particular is very frustrating 

anyway rant over about that 

related, Roman totally plays baseball bc of I Don’t Dance thank you for coming to my TED talk 

also i just think Ro in a baseball uniform is a sweet lil idea

you all probably know i like baseball player!Roman tho bc i’ve had him play baseball in like three separate AUs

anywho

I hc that Logan and Roman and Virgil got those Sensory Issues bc I said so 

honestly i just want one of them to be a texture eater like me

one of them likes those Cronchy foods and that’s that 

Patton is a plant mom but Logan is a plant emt because Patton always forgets to water one plant or the other and Lo has to bring it back to life before Patton plans an entire funeral for it 

i always and forever want to remind people that Roman is scared of the dark. why? just because 

Virgil totally plays FNAF and loves it 

on that note I think it’s cool that Virgil is the one who digs dark and creepy and scary stuff, even though as Anxiety you’d assume he avoids it at all costs 

I guess if Thomas is scared it makes V more powerful so from a role-centered pov it makes a lot of sense

I am very intrigued by the possibility that Roman views or even idolizes pushing oneself past their limits, almost as a sort of self-punishment, as the ultimate form of selflessness and repentance; this especially in relation to Thomas’ Catholic upbringing, Roman’s mention of karma, the concept of burnout with Roman’s role as creativity and pride, etc. 

I honestly love the little moments we get where we see the quieter/softer side of Roman. He’s a lot of loud things - pride, ego, dreams, creativity - and he’s rambunctious and enthusiastic by nature, but dreams and creativity and romance are also about daydreams, wistfulness, admiration, stuff like rose petals and stargazing and gardens and singing under your breath and sighs, if that makes sense? and it’s nice to see that he’s as much sweet and dreamy as he is flamboyant and energetic. 

i’m gonna end it here bc if i keep going it’s just gonna be me raving about Roman Sanders and yall see enough of that as it is aslksdkgjl, i hope this helped distract you anon!!! 💕💕💕

[aiviloti]

my 2020 fic writer wrap-up!!

this is going to be incredibly long (a total of 1.1k lmao) so imma put a cut here, but basically thank you for being here all throughout my 2020! i appreciate you all very much <3

fav kind of fic to write:

i love writing about mutual pining slow burn process of getting together but i have NEVER WRITTEN ONE IN MY LIFE so i hope to change that in 2021

in 2020 i discovered??? humour??? so i enjoy writing about that and when people tell me i’ve succeeded in making them laugh it’s all 😳😳😳 for me

hardest fic to write but also most proud of:

to write you a song was a fic i struggled with from all of april to june which is very long?? to me??? considering i usually sit down and write things in one seating. fully fleshed ideas don’t usually take me thaaaaaat long to crunch out, but for some reason i struggled bad with this bc I really didn’t know where i was going w it lol

LA LA LAND gets an honorary mention of it’s own simply because it was 44k, and it took me all of july-september, but it’s something i still am proud of! to show how difficult it was to write/plot here’s the spreadsheet i had to use to keep track of the scenes and the chapters djkgfsjdfkjhgd

Shout out to kiroiimye , sweet , sirius and krypt for keeping my sanity intact

easiest fic to write:

this genshin impact fic: The Land Favoured by the Wind but its because ive been thinking about this idea for more than a month lol so the actual writing and editing took me less than 3 hours

there were several others too, bc ideas then to hook themselves to me then refuse to let go fjshlfgdfsg

fav fic to write:

Most definitely this sakuatsu monstrosity here by the name of Miya Atsumu's unwavering love for Sakusa Kiyoomi and an unholy amount of terrible food analogies that should not have the right to Exist lol, I only came up with the idea of Atsumu asking Osamu how to make friends bc I was friendship pining for someone at the time and then proceeded to write the entirety of it in a feverish daze! It’s as of rn my top hit / kudoed / bookmarked fic on ao3 and man, thanks for liking this as much as i did :’D

writing sequence:

i have to write from start to finish lmao i cant move on if the fic isnt chronological? the only exception was la la land bc it was too long and i had help from the spreadsheet so i alr knew where i was going i just had to write it down dfhdsfksfksdfhjg

deleting works:

the only fics i remember deleting are both first chapters of a multichap, bc i dont like having unfinished pieces on ao3, and far less if im not sure if ill finish them/if i dont know where im going w it!

if it’s dark history of shit 15 year old me wrote imma keep it there! it is an archive after all. go on, judge my fics from 5 years ago ahahahaha

best writing advice:

not a general thing and might just apply tome, but i tend to write in very convoluted ways and squish a lot in my sentences, or add to many unnecessary commas, so i received advice recently about being more mindful of the pacing and it’s helped me a lot!

worst writing advice:

none at the top of my head djgfkdsjfh if it’s bs to me i just forget it entirelyyyy

collab:

@actuallyasweetpotato​ (also aforementioned sweet) and i did a thing for bokuaka week!!!! you can find it here:  under my breath and into your scarf

wips:

9 unfinished zine pieces, 3 commissions, 1 exchange piece, about 10 or so other things

fav story of another writer:

favourite things 

manly man falls for manliest man krbk fic!!!

gently, like a winter wind iwaoi birthday fic

sunchaser krbk fic

JUNO atsuhina fic

best review:

dude i cried

and shoutout to tien , sirius for fan art, fan comics, fan animatics of fics ive written, and shoutout to akemiiiii for this song they wrote i am eternaally grateful

worst review:

no negativity today!

prequel/sequel to other people’s fics:

none at the top of my head hm, but if anything probably any of kiro skk stuff 

do i reread my stuff:

yes, but only if they’re old enough for me to go “it’s okay even if i dont like it bc this is old”

published:

hopefully! even though i do take part in zines and i guess they already have been published in a broad sense

fav/least fav chara to write:

no one at the top of my head! it’s instinctive for me to go ahead and think about character motives whenever i come across them, so if i ever write about someone, i usually just put my spin/interpretation of a character in a way that i can comprehend. the pros of this is i can write about many people, and the downside is that these characterisations can come off as out of character to anyone who doesn’t agree w me hehe

deadlines or goals:

if it’s a oneshot that’s under 3k i usually aim to have it done within 24 hours of beginning the fic. even tho i rarely succeed, having that as a goal usually pushes me to get it done faster than i would have if i had no goal altogether! if it’s anything long i aim for 1k a day, tho rn all my deadlines are zine deadlines and on top of that there’s uni, so to say im not stressing about writing would be a lie LOL

fav writers: (am too shy to tag but i swear these people are literal gods)

chonideno (mag): tumblr | twitter | ao3

batman (teesta): twitter | ao3

maplefudge (raei): tumblr | twitter | ao3

trope never written, would like to try:

aforementioned SLOWBURN MUTUAL PINING ANGST W A HAPPY ENDING GETTING TOGETHER!!!

but also royalty au

trope you will never write:

haha loads

how long have you been a writer:

began writing around may of 2014!! it was a horrible piece but im glad i started somewhere

influences:

chonideno/mag is one! maggie stiefvater who wrote the raven boys is also one, among many others

hardest part of writing: 

writing action? writing things that are happening right now, describing people talking, eating

easiest part of writing:

descriptions of people, places, feelings. internal monologues, the like

best part of writing:

sharing how i perceive the world w other people, and discovering other people agree

wip sneak peek:

cw: hanahaki, falling out of love

this was written in a friend’s dms lmao this is why i sound like this

something unique i bring to all my stories

i had a revelation the other day after talking to all my friends and realised i have really pretentious titles

IF YOU’RE HERE

did you know the wc of this thing is 1k words? idk why you stuck through all of that but thank you. i’ll keep writing in 2021, and all the years after that, and i hope i’ll find you doing things you love too :)

[doctorguilty]

Rick n Morty stuff

[[MORE]]

I was really overall like, disappointed in rick n morty s4 like it started out fun but midway through I was getting like bored of the lack of plot ...... I just watched the finale though and while they did like, pack maybe too much into it all at once I was at least happy they covered a lot of things I was dreading they were going to just wrap up without touching upon ie clone beth, tammy, and bird person

Anyway I feel like kind of at a loss for talking about it cause like again it all happened so fast but I'm glad they ended on like, fully deconstructing rick and I'm still feeling the pain of it omg like one of my complaints in s4 as a whole was rick bein like way too successful still??? Not being punished for anything??? So like Damn they came back with that, I always saw rick as a character I saw myself in, like, negative parts of myself, and when I look at toxic characters like a mirror I really want to see them punished for their actions it's like a ... personal reflection thing? So like seeing rick in the end like. Entirely alone having lost everyone and his ego shattered hit me right in the heart like I feel so sad about it, I feel a lot of empathy for it, but I'm also like, he deserved it, like idk I have such a bpd mood with him I feel like ppl would like hiss at me for saying he seems so borderline it's just like my personal relationship! As a borderline! Like believe me I am very very distanced from the main stream fandom of that show and the misconstrued way they interpret everything about it anyway I could go on and on about bpd stuff but like that's how I'm Feeling rn I'm vibing on my emotions...

I dont know what they'll do next like idk if a s5 is even confirmed but I'd imagine it probably is as adult swims cash cow?? Idk if theres more than I cross my fingers for a like, True character change in him and have him redeemed as entirely a better person, I don't know if I'd hold my breath for it and I mean I would be totally okay if the series just ended with him alone but ig I just dont want them to like undo all that and give him another get out of jail free card like either leave him punished or change him, idk if others would agree but I know I'd like to see him be better

[themikewheelers]

So apparently it was confirmed that three new male characters will be cast for season 4. I don't want to judge just yet what they're going to contribute yet, because it's still early, but I'm now nervous lol I really hope they're like Tommy/Carol/Troy types, because holy shit there's already so many main characters. Also, why all male??? Hmmmm..

I don’t know how to say this and I swear I don’t want this to come across rude, but like, there’s literally no reason to complain about a season you haven’t seen yet, and all it does is give yourself a pessimistic attitude that’s just gonna make you and other ppl feel crappy. For starters, I genuinely just don’t know how to explain at this point that new characters are essential to advancing plotlines and in adding new locations, both of which are obviously a big part of s4! there’s literally just no way for them to write s4 without adding new characters. And in the case of these four characters, absolutely nothing has been “confirmed”, it’s 100% rumors that are just repeated by news outlet after news outlet. Maybe they are true, but there’s also a VERY good chance they’re fake just like 80% of news articles claiming to have information about s4 (and just while I’m on the topic I’ve seen that one “leak” EVERYWHERE claiming that s4 is gonna be out October 2020 and I just want to say rn that that is absolute bs so if we could maybe ignore it so ppl don’t get their hopes up and then complain later when it obviously isn’t out by then). But yeah, those 4 characters are complete rumors anyway. But even if they are true I’m sorry but there’s literally nothing wrong with adding them? NONE of them are rumored to be MAIN characters to begin with, or at least, the original source of the rumors didn’t claim they were main characters, idk what every news outlet has said after that when spreading the rumors with no backing. As for 3 of them, from the very very little we “know” about them, they seem p clearly to be high school aged guys who I’m guessing are maybe ppl Jonathan meets at his new school. Maybe antagonists, maybe friends. Maybe they’re upperclassmen bullies to Will. Or maybe they’re in Hawkins and the show is giving Steve some new ppl. But nothing about their descriptions makes them seem important so let’s not overreact to the simple possibility of them existing. It was only the fourth character that seemed like he may be important, but again, that’s bc stories and plotlines cannot advance without new characters being added and that’s smth this fandom just needs to get used to. Ppl having been complaining about this since 2016, and I’m sorry but I’ve been fed up with it since 2016. New characters are important, and I could even somewhat understand the criticism if it was main characters being added, but it’s not and the concept of criticizing a show for adding small roles to advance the plot is just ridiculous.

And about the “all male” thing too, I get what you mean, and trust me I’m also frustrated with how this show has so many more male mains than female, but I do think we gotta acknowledge that first off, its rlly not as bad as ppl make it out to be? 2 adults with a 1:1 ratio. 4 teens with a 2:2 ratio. And then 6 kids with a 4:2 ratio of boys to girls. Out of our mains, there’s rlly only a one character difference between male and female at this point. And it’s def complicated bc to some extent it comes down to who you want to personally interpret as a main character versus just a main cast member, but I think those 12 are rlly our core ppl even if there’s other roles that are technically credited as mains but don’t genuinely have that role (Karen, Billy, etc.). Also I didn’t count Erica in that bc I think it’s debatable whether she’s gonna be a main character going forward and we’ll have to wait to see, but she was absolutely a main character in s3. So yeah. This show absolutely has issues with diversity in so many respects, but in terms of male to female ratios, it’s rlly come so far from where it was in season 1? And while there’s always room for improvement, I do think criticisms at this point that are just “there’s not enough female characters” are kinda shallow and if u wanna talk female representation there’s a lot more meaningful stuff than just comparing numbers out of context. Also like again with this stuff it’s important to note that it is minor characters. If this was main characters I would totally agree with u that without context it seems a little crazy to be adding 4 new men and no women, but these are likely super minor roles and we don’t even know what their purpose is. And as much as ppl wanna deny it, a character’s purpose in the plot is gonna be a big factor in what gender they’re written to be, esp for minor characters.

Idk this got long and rambly and I’m just typing this out in the car sitting in my driveway for like 20 minutes even tho I thought it would take like 2 but dhskmskshsjsbs. I genuinely don’t want this to come across rude and I am just tryna express my opinion but I just don’t have a lot of patience on this topic bc ppl have been using the same complaints since 2016 and the vast majority of which I think are nonsensical. I think there’s absolutely ways that adding too many characters is a problem but I also feel v strongly that this show has done a good job balancing its characters, but more than that I feel much more strongly that adding new characters is an important part of any show and most of all, that judging any decision about s4 before watching it is just harmful to yourself and others. It’s giving yourself a negative attitude that’s gonna affect ur ability to go into the season willing to accept change and have an open mind or enjoy what happens bc ur so prepared and fixated on being critical. And it has the same effect on ppl who may not even agree with you but just from seeing the complaints and judgement from other ppl makes them feel bad about a show they love and affects their ability to enjoy it

[beverlyr0ad]

crimes of grindelwald thoughts

alright obvious spoilers not that it matters bc i have one follower lmao but !! i need somewhere to scream abt this movie

first of all i love jacob and newt so much. best parts of this movie honestly i love them and i want them to be happy 

but to be fair i actually rlly rlly enjoyed watching this movie!! like,, there are a looot of things i dont understand about it and i have no idea how they happened or why theyre happening but thats Okay i would still recommend everyone watch it! its so good!!!

good things:

- grindelwald !! i mean,, no hes not a good thing but i really liked how they wrote his character. like i can UNDERSTAND the power he has over people and how hes manipulating them. hes really not just a Voldemort 2.0 and i respect that a lot bc thats not what an entirely different villain should be like. but casting issues and all aside i really liked this

- i also liked the interaction between leta lestrange and dumbledore that was some good stuff and the actors were rlly good too !!! - i like the direction queenie is going in. i mean i dont actually of course but it seems realistic and i think its important and its good character development n stuff so hhh hope that works out later tho !! i am Suspense

- jacob walked into that movie and i was like !!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD i love him so much and it was rlly nice to see him back even if i dont think it was that neat to have him lose his memory of everything that happened for significance and in this movie have everything go like WHOOMP hes back but i uhhhh loved it anyway so this is not a complaint its a good thing - i still loved newt and having a good main character makes the whole movie a better watch in general. ive seen sequels where i just Cant get attatched to the new characters but wow i didnt really have much of a problem with that here

- it was also never boring and i really just loved n enjoyed this movie a lot!!!  okay hhh bad things/things that i personally disliked:

- ive seen different opinions on this but??? what was that blood pact????? what are u doing??????????????? i cant even be coherent properly so here are the main reasons that was rlly dumb

1- w-who does that in a romantic relationship ever :o and yes jkr has literally said dumbledore n grindelwald were in LOVE HELLO feel free to correct me if im wrong on anything but if ur gonna say it u should show it,,,, Continuity Please. anyway separate issue but if u love someone youre not gonna be like “hey lets make SURE we dont fight each other ever” because youll trust that the other person?? isnt gonna fight u???!!!???? im

2- thats literally not the reason he “cannot move against grindelwald” okay like it shouldnt be. this conversation literally happens in dh and dumbledore says he was scared of facing what rlly happened when ariana died!! there was no actual physical thing stopping him!!! the only acceptable justification is that he doesnt want to face this ghosts of his past and that moment and he is SCARED okay so COME ON give dumbledore his faults! hes scared of his past and that IS the reason!!

3- wait how did grindelwald, aberforth, and albus fight if they had already entered a blood pact. like i dont think albus would aim for his own brother EVER but could he even attack grindelwald if they had a blood pact?? not sure how this works lol but who was he aiming for then??? just firing everywhere randomly without intention cause that sounds,,, significantly harder to believe and makes that scene loads messier esp if grindelwald couldnt aim for albus either so

4- the blood pact was so frickin unnecessary im sobbing. like there was the scene where its all like “oh some say you were as close as brothers” and dumbledore is like “oh we were closer than brothers...” and im like OK! the little scene in the air doesnt explicitly reveal anything either so thats ok but the closer than brothers line was rlly revealing for me. at least for like two minutes and then dumbledore looked in the mirror and saw himself making a blood pact w grindelwald. like ok is That what u meant by closer than brothers bc thats what everythings pointing to but it shouldnt be and i.............ugh

5- im honestly just kind of hhhhhhhhhhhh. i can concede that the blood pact might be significant in later films and i look forward to watching them! but. at the same time i. wish that if you were going to say dumbledore was gay it would actually be explicitly referenced in the movie, instead of dancing around that and dropping it in hints and pieces that fans of the series who know this information will understand and others can just dismiss as friendship! there were So Many good places in this movie to include this fact (altho feel free to disagree w me haha) and i think that not including this fact was honestly tiring.

- nagini...........obv this isnt a huge problem bc idk where her story will go next n it might develop n become important but as of rn, i have no idea what her role in this movie is. i wonder if her reappearance in the harry potter series will actually be of significance and if itll be explained how she will end up under servitude to voldemort bc i genuinely dont understand right now. it just seems like a cameo to draw attention in the trailer ghgdjh

- leta lestrange’s death didnt feel right or impactful and im sad . definitely a huge opinion here but it felt like a mandatory character snuff to make the movie sad and ghdsjgfh oh well :(

- little continuity issues?? dumbledore being DADA professor instead of transfiguration bc Boggarts Are Important For Foreshadowing. also how is mcgonagall an adult or actually how is she even alive and um of course the fact that this movie doesnt confirm what jkr has said about dumbledore and grindelwald beforehand. 

- im actually going to totally repeat myself bc this deserves a separate point umm why arent dumbledore and grindelwald actually shown as in love with each other as young men. its completely relevant to the movie and its not hard to put it in there instead of the bLOOD PACT (ask anyone irl ive been screaming abt the blood pact ever since i came out of that movie). anyway i know david yates said he wouldnt be including that as part of the movie as fans are aware of that aNyway but its not that hard to understand. people are asking for actual representation?? not smt vague??? because this is just here to Please People. if u refuse to see this ship, ure just gonna see them as having a friendship! maybe u havent heard about what jkr said or maybe ure choosing to ignore it bc,, idk that says smt about u, or maybe another reason idk! but if u go into this knowing they were In Love and hoping to see confirmation of dumbledore being canonically gay, youre going to hear that “oh, we were more than brothers” line and be like oh yeah we been knew, or more seriously like hey! maybe we’re getting a canon confirmation, not just floaty young people leaning towards each other! like when he looked in the mirror i was like okay This Is It this is gna be confirmation but then it wasnt oop. it was the !!! bloooood paaact !!! which means that people could interpret the “closer than brothers” line as meaning oh we done did a blood pact that means we blood related look at us go! Wow! so this is basically just a half azzed attempt at pleasing people w stereotypical viewpoints and people happy to see representation. hmmmmmmmmmm.. (psst if u actually ship older dumbledore n grindelwald tho What Are You Doing Stop !! thats not a healthy relationship, grindelwald is an awful person and dumbledore deserves to grow from the person he was before!!! he deserves so much better!!! im not saying to ship them but im saying that if we’re gonna say they were in love as young men and if we are going to confirm that dumbledore is gay well,,, lets put that in canon pls!!!! we need canon representation but we dont need to pretend this ship is healthy or good bc its representation either. this isnt shipping this is asking to acknowledge that dumbledore was gay and in love with grindelwald and its confirmed that grindelwald was in love with him too. in the place the story of tcog is now, that relationship is not ever going to happen again and if u actually think it is ure suffering from some next-level delusion. just be definitive and acknowledge that your characters are LGBT tho pls!! u said they were!!! actually i would be so much happier to see a Happy And Healthy LGBT Pairing can we have that? please?)

- big spoiler but hOW IS CREDENCE ALBUS’ BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING DKFJDKSH i need to separate my thoughts again

1- AGE DIFFERENCE........apparently dumbledore is like 46 in this movie right?? credence doesnt look over 20. okay percival dumbledore is put in azkaban before albus starts school right?? so the maximum age albus can be is 11. now im gonna say that kendra was not having any more kids w anyone else after that incident fs so the oldest albus can be when ariana is born is 12, leaving room for some other stuff okay. ALBUS AND CREDENCE DONT LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE A 12 YEAR AGE GAP WHAT IS HAPPENINF

2- i saw people theorizing that credence is ariana’s son and NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO PLS NO

3- not an actual issue but i thought grindelwald said his name was berrylius dumbledore which i later remembered as berrylium dumbledore and anyway thank god for the internet

4- okay at this point i cant tell if this has just been brought in for shock value or smt like. is this relevant to the plot. is grindelwald even telling the truth. w-why did the movie end there. help....... i think thats it but i do want to say that i respect the rights of the creator jkr to do whatever she wants w these characters. its her world! but i can have a whole bunch of opinions n feelings about this movie and still support it. after all, i love harry potter and the whole wizarding world w my whole heart. 

did anyone even read that LOOOL that was so long sorry

[redzeverin]

Some Tarot stuff x Servamp thoughts

So I was thinking of the Tarot cards recently (I blame you @spritesoulmist) and I couldn’t help but remember some Servamp related stuff (courtesy of Neverland boi’s recent birthday cuz it was eveRYWHERE- //cough). More specifically on the C3 arc.

If we look back at the chapters we can see some Major Arcana cards as their titles: namely 

ch.41: The Magician ch.47: The Tower ch.50: The Hanged Man ch.52: The Chariot ch.59: Strength

Now we know how much symbolism and thought Tanaka-sensei puts in the whole plot now yeah? Things, words, events, and characters can be premonitions for something to come soon…

//cough… Anyways, here’s the stuff we came up with. Take note I’m not an expert on Tarot readings and meanings, so these are things I checked up on my book. Also these are just tiny speculations and meanings I thought of so don’t take ‘em seriously =v=)

Also, hear this out. Tarot card readings, depending on which kind of reading you are doing, would have two meanings to it—The upright meaning of the cards and… of course… the reversed meaning. I’m gonna put both interpretations in relation with the events happening in the manga, but the reversed interpretations may not be accurate, sooooo… yeahhhhp

The Magician

UPRIGHT:

This chapter doesn’t particularly zoom in on one character (as compared to The Hanged Man as Tsurugi and The Chariot as Junichirou; sadly it doesn’t have much for Yumikage for it) and focuses on the three magicians, or C3, as a whole. The Magician Tarot card talks about, of course, magic– illusions. It serves as the bridge between the spirits and the humans, and as C3 in Servamp’s case: the vampires and the humans. It also represents, in summary: solutions, aspiration, and capabilities– probably as a reference to C3′s organization as a whole.

REVERSED:

Magic used wrongly. Abilities used to gain a negative end for personal satisfaction or plots. This may be an indication of the plan Touma has “ever since Tsubaki escaped”. It can also mean being out of touch with reality (and being more in the world of magic?), which could also an indication of Tsurugi’s condition that made him “not hear the alarm”.

 The Tower

UPRIGHT:

Tbh, this is the reason why I’m making this post. The Tower Tarot card signifies ambitions that leads to a disastrous ending or a sudden destructive change. wqjiodnasdpansddq– If we think of Servamp… well… nwjqlebnsaodasd okay, with those two meanings in mind, let’s look at the events in the chapters. The sudden destructive change we can point out here is the fact that the rising levels of Jin in their area is making vampires more indestructible and would most likely cause that “world of nothing but night”. Aside from that, there’s also Tsurugi’s case, which was finally revealed because of the Servamps residing in the headquarters and causing the stir in his memories. Theeeen the whole subclass breakout thing too. Fast forward to ch.54 “Climbing the Tower” and we get to see Tsurugi and Mahiru climbing the tower. I sure do fcking hope it doesn’t go as how these meanings are, because there, we see Mahiru wanting to save Tsurugi and The Tower tarot card talks about the fall of an ambition that was too high or more than one can chew…. //cough. Only chapters will tell us now…

REVERSED:

Destruction can bring about regeneration. This is all about delayed destruction, whether by fear of change, or by other physical factors. In this chapter, Touma talks about some stabilizing medication because he deemed Tsurugi unwell. What this medication is, we’re not yet sure, but it is something that “delays” Tsurugi’s total uh… breakdown?... so Touma can still use him.

The Hanged Man

UPRIGHT:

The Hanged Man’s depiction is not one who was sent to be hung because of his wrongdoings- in fact, he is hanging there on his own will. There are two cases for this—surrender and sacrifice. As a personal sacrifice. (//cue 10 headcanons exploding in my mind rn), it can either be a person doing the personal sacrifice, even if it is unrewarded, or an event that requires the personal sacrifice. In the case for this chapter, first off we have Mahiru asking Tsurugi if the reason they (the humans) were able to live peacefully all this time was because C3 has been fighting for them the whole time (and note, without most humans’ knowledge). Tsurugi then mentions something about “dying for world peace” then afterwards saying “just joking”. Then he presents how he is viewed by the two opposing sides of the vampires and humans- seen as an enemy to be killed and a hero who kills to protects, respectively. He knows what he is to them, and because of that, resigns-- surrenders – himself to that fate. And for humans, that can be seen as a personal sacrifice for the better good. Buuuuut then again, this card also symbolizes surrender in the “letting go” manner in order to achieve a better end result. Also there’s this example here of suspended action— decisions that weren’t immediately made even when the situation is already dire (//cue the “alarm”; //cue Jun’s wife--- //KICKED).

It was also in this chapter that we see a panel where “The Fool” was put below Mahiru, and where Tsurugi mentioned “You can still go anywhere afterall,”. This is referencing to The Fool’s tarot card of not being in sequence with the Major Arcana cards. The Fool is a free spirit- not bound by the numbers- and has unlimited potential. The Major Arcana is often seen as The Fool’s journey through life—making him the protagonist. A.k.a. Mahiru still has a lot more to do from ch.64 onwards fckYEAH---

REVERSED:

A standstill in time and decision. In regards to Tsurugi’s character (which I have very little grasp of at the moment so dear Tsurugi peeps forgive me), it is the inability to move forward from his current situation. This is the part of him that “wasn’t able to grow up”.

The Chariot

UPRIGHT:

The Chariot Tarot card here focused more on Junichirou as a character—Meaning that this card stands for control— being the most rational one in the group AND also the attitude to take the matters into your own hands, which can be seen through his personality and actions in trying to save Tsurugi (despite Yumikage’s protests). It stands for determination and will power- despite him not being a better combatant compared to Tsurugi during their fight, he still did what he can. Discipline could also be seen in the way he uses Mjolnir…. Although… this card also signifies victory. Will Jun still have a part to play after all that happened? ;;

REVERSED:

Losing control of personal life. Junichirou’s loss for his wife and seeing his best friend apologize gravely for what happened… really took a toll on him that made him on leave for a year. This was his time of thinking things over, taking the reins on how he wants things to be from then on- and that means fighting for the ones he has now.

Strength

UPRIGHT:

I’m not sure if this is considered to be part of the Tarot cards speculation, but Strength is indeed one of the Major Arcanas. As opposed to the usual idea of brute force, the Strength card, and the symbolism portrayed here is inner strength—composure, resolve, courage, character, and reliability. Kuro’s said it well enough for us to understand the fact that he’s acknowledged Mahiru’s growth! It is also a sign of taking on things without the use of unnecessary violence- through intellect it may. Which, in this chapter’s case, is also leaning a bit to Mikuni’s ways of doing things. The elaborate plan he’s coming up is not him getting into the fray, but getting all the pieces together until he makes the final move (or so).

Oh, oh, fun fact about this too. The card of Strength is portrayed by a woman calmly holding on to the jaws of a lion. She didn’t keep them close by force- she earned the lion’s trust for her to be able to touch him, and in turn, the lion is soothed by her presence and doesn’t attack. Very befitting for the bond of the Sloth pair ne~? x3

REVERSED:

Doubt. Seriously, the reverse of the courage shown here is doubt. I don’t know what else to say besides Doubt Doubt //kicked.

//cough. So there you have it: Things that may or may not symbolize something in the future. What I’m waiting for is one or two more Tarot card reference. Tarot cards have different spreads that can connect each card with each other, leading to a conclusion. We already have five references as of now… six would make it into LT’s 6 card spread, and seven would make the Horseshoe tarot spread. Although there are other spreads, these two are kinda more popular. But anyways, I’m betting on two more of these. one for Yumikage, and one for the resolution.

Yumikage may have The Moon tarot (from his name Tsukimitsu, “Moon shine”?). This card is something akin to uncertainty, fear and vagueness. He wants to protect things his own way but “nobody ever listens to what he says” (ch.49). He longs for a proper action, even with uncertainty, to the point of frustration. But even then, the moon still guides him in the world of nighttime they have immersed themselves into. This can signify clarity and awakening too. Yumikage ganbatte!!!! 

And for the resolution, the Judgement card I guess. It’s the final outcome, welcomed or not. //prays for happy ending for everyone ;;

Ohghods that was way too long. If you made it this far with my ramblings, I congratulate you! xD. I’m gonna stick to waiting for more ideas here and there so hehehe... Only the chapters will tell~

[kokeggy]

my brain is filled with ouma and i cant stop it

i totally forgot the time man, its almost been 2 months since i played the game and it totally didnt feel like that at all

i still can recall a ton of things fluidly and as for now i dont see a particular reason to replay the game (other than wanting to get to know ouma better) 

but oumas character is just.. so tragic. i cant even begin to explain the depth of his character, it would be pages long and im way too lazy for that. ill always just write mental drafts and let myself feel when it comes to ouma

ill a cut here since its already a bit long rn lmao

and i think ouma is a character who is deeply troubled by his insecurities/possible mental illnesses (such as bpd or servere depression) in a way that these insecurities are his most memorable characteristics. that is absolutely sad and tragic

furthermore since the moment i started to play this game i always thought it was suspicious that ouma claimed he hated liars even tho he was one himself. sure that couldve been one of his lies, but my intention rlly didnt like this idea so i thought he was actually speaking the truth. i realized today that ouma was hinting at shuichi that he hated this persona that he had to create for the sake of this game

but i do agree that i sometimes tend to overthink ouma lmao while is incredibly intelligent, he couldnt have figured everything out, plus his trust issues and paranoia were in the way of looking into every possible situation. yet i somehow believed that he did a lot of stuff while being completely aware of their consequences - but thats not possible. ouma is not a superhuman who can figure out what happens to the world in [insert year]. hes a character with deep flaws which balances his cunning behavior 

to his actual personality, i might seem like the most biased person in the world but i truly believe that ouma didnt want to harm anyone. its just that the killing game... happened lol

as far as i can self-insert, i do believe if i happen to be in a killing game i would be quite similar about it. minus the creating a fake persona thing for me its absolutely impossible to trust 15 people whom i just met that they wouldnt kill me under stress. you know, if you activate the right buttons on someone, they can work how you want them to. and this is what feared ouma (rightly so)

anyways i take the anthologies as canon material since theyre approved and licensed by spike chunsoft, and we obviously see that ouma is nowhere near as antagonistic as he was in the game. although, i only have read the first anthology (also while we are at it, i cant wait to buy the thjree v3 anthologies even without knowing japanese, lulz)

but we also see his character actually getting darker and darker with each chapter, with chapter 4 probably taking the point. esp on when it ended. at first i was kind of conflicted about his oversentimal reaction towards gonta being executed, because that felt just as fake as his overly evil presentation afterwards. altho after some time thinking abt this, i came to the conclusion that he just leaked a little bit of his juicy true self(tm), realized that what he meant was actually genuine and then proceed to vent his emotions in making him seem like the most villainous person u ever met. because i think one of the reasons ouma acted out like is because he believed he was at fault for gontas death. so instead of trying to sweet talk yourself, he just took the oppurtunity to make him the least likeable person. cuz who would ever want to like someone who jokes about genuinely being concered about someone dying? yeah no one dude

also i think ouma is ironically a bit well-mannered (yeah guis im not joking here). ..  .if we ignore all his stupid pranks.. so you see, whenever i got rejected after dates with ouma in salmon mode.. it went like this for example “eeh, wow you are going to the libary with me and now you want to leave? that hella rude man, why am i wasting my time like this” or “wow you really must think highly of yourself if you think you are worth changing for, how arrogant”  which looks like he knows what is appropriate and what not

i remember what he said that and i suddenly went like “shit i cant believe im hearing this from you man” which was kinda funny as a side note btw

anyways, to his motive video. oh shit, his motive video . . . even without having known how messed up the translation was, that damaged me.-.. i mean i always thought that ouma exaggerated the size of his organization, at some poiint i just thought that his entire organization was a lie and his tru talent was the ultimate liar. which obsly wasnt the case lmao 

but his motive video.. just wanting to prank ppl for laughs and entertainment. its so light hearted compared to what he claimed it to be that it hurts another thing that i think is worth noting is that DICE was his motive video, not his family. DICE, who is like family. but not his actual family. what does that mean? does that mean that his actual family wasnt like family to ouma? i sure as hell thought so and i still do 

a different thing is that ouma said that nobody would care about him dying and that his organization would be better off without him, plus that it seems that monokuma said that ouma knows what happened to DICE in the motive video which leads me to.. uhh.. what if ouma did something he absolutely regretted doing (since it caused DICE trouble?) - but im not entire set on that theory

its also sad that he constantly had to hint about hiimself instead of just talking abt it to shuichi. like, he wanted shuichi to help him or actually even hinder him at carrying out his plan, he low key hoped for it because shuichi is a detective which showed to be shrewd enough to be able to make proper deductoins in class trials, furthermore he isnt a dick towards ouma and actually respects him in a way. something that ouma most likely didnt calculate

which mades the statement that shuichi said in the end of chapter 4 even more painful. shuichi was the only person that ouma kind of trusted and relied on. and prob the only one he wanted to show his true self to, that very person told him hes 5 ever alone with no friends at all. that hes a pathetic little brat who should start to view the world differently (def not what shuichi said 1:1 but.. yeah idk my own interpretation) 

im pretty sure that hurt ouma a lot 

hnnng, i truly wished for ouma to be one of the survivors. altho i figured that hes gonna plot something absolutely mind blowing in chapter 5, i seriously couldnt believe that he was actually dead... well, not until the closing argument. as soon as there were the words “closing argument” all over my screen i began to cry like an idiot. i couldnt even read properly man, thats just how blurry my vision was from all the tears

in other hand: i was (and still am lol) extremely attached to ouma and his death was very unsatisfying, since he died quite heroic but nobody considered him so. also he never made up with these ppl. also fuck kodaka