#like imagine them in the final girl scenario explaining the history of the house

[hdstrng]

(  some  assorted  details  on  the  reincarnation  au  )      taylor’s  life  runs  quite  a  few  parallels  to  tanya’s  in  the  modern  setting   —   things  like  painting  her  tire  swing  as  a  kid  and  dying  her  hair  red  were  her  own  ideas  and  were  unknowingly  influenced  by  the  life  before.      her  character  was  never  far  off,    either.      always  outspoken,    a  free  spirit,    and  when  the  time  came  for  her  to  go  off  to  college,    she  finally  got  the  taste  of  freedom  she’d  always  craved  from  the  clarke  household.      when  they  get  to  l.ittle  h.ope,    the  times  seem  to  blend  together  in  a  way.

          tabitha  was  a  little  different.      opinionated  and  responsible,    yes,    but  not  as  willful  as  the  future  girls.      she  was  more  willing  to  be  influenced  by  others  and  hope  to  steer  things  her  way  as  it  goes,    but  it  didn’t  exactly  work  out  for  her.      her  future  incarnates  are  more  forceful  as  a  result,    trusting  their  own  gut  response  over  anyone  else’s   —   perhaps  too  much.

          as  for  vince  in  the  present,    my  take  would  be  that  the  first  time  he  sees  the  group,    he  doesn’t  believe  what  he  sees,    thinks  he’s  just  had  too  much  to  drink  and  is  starting  to  see  things   —   and  he  pretty  much  continues  to  assume  this  through  the  night  until  andrew  straight  up  crashes  into  him  as  they’re  all  running  to  the  church.      maybe  the  demons  don’t  appear  to  him  because  he  wasn’t  seen  to  really  be  involved  in  the  cycle ?      and  so  andrew  taking  a  shot  seemingly  aimed  at  him  only  brings  back  all  kinds  of  old  frustrations  to  a  new  level.

          now  like.      sole  survivor  au ???      andrew’s  own   ‘ test ’   boils  down  to  his  choice  of  who  to  condemn  during  the  witch  trials,    and  blaming  mary  gets  him  killed  at  the  house    (  instead  of  just  offing  everyone  no  matter  what  choice  they  personally  made  ).      vince  comes  by  her  sitting  by  the  house  in  the  morning  and  with  a  short  exchange,    directs  her  to  the  diner  down  the  road.      he’s  strangely  more  sympathetic  towards  her  than  she’s  seen  him  acting  all  night  with  the  others.      she  stumbles  into  the  diner  so  distraught  that  her  waitress  calls  for  help  and  gives  her  some  breakfast  on  the  house.

          her  story  to  those  who  ask  is  that  she  was  on  a  field  trip  when  her  bus  crashed ,    and  she  woke  up  nearing  dawn  with  everyone  missing.      she  walked  through  town  trying  to  find  them,    but  came  out  with  nothing  and  no  one . . .    so  the  police  conduct  a  search.      but  there  is  no  one  left  to  find   —   as  far  as  she  knows,    what  was  left  of  her  friends  disappeared  into  the  fog.      she  goes  back  to  school,    tries  to  move  on,    but  nothing  will  ever  quite  be  the  same.

[abarbaricyalp]

Idk if you are still taking prompts, but you know the vine two dudes chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they're not gay, and a girl quoting it in a park about two girls in the distance and one of them hearing and going "Actually I am gay" Like that scenario, only involving them fixing the boat? Maybe Sarah quoting it to give Sam shit when she thinks Bucky cant hear and Bucky goes "Wait, no I'm gay" or something, or just the general gist of that. Sorry if this us too specific, I've never sent anyone a prompt before :P

Hello Friend! Thank you so much for sending anything in at all! I know the vine you're talking about, but I couldn't find it on Youtube. (I did find a two day rabbit hole of old compilations though) This was also my first foray into writing Sarah as a fully fleshed character! I was excited to get the practice 'cause I had an idea bouncing around in my head about her and Bucky talking after he wakes up in the Wilson house. I kept her a little more like she had been in my other fics pre-show here. I so wish we got a little more of her!

Feel free, anyone, to send me Sambucky prompts!

The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation

Sarah Wilson loved her brother deeply. The kind of soul crushing love that could only be formed through family, loss, and approximately four thousand brawls around the living room throughout their life. She looked up to her brother more than she could ever imagine looking up to anyone. Even when they were fighting or picking on each other, she couldn’t help but feel a swell in her chest when he came into her line of sight.

That didn’t mean she understood him. In fact, from the age of eight, watching her brother interact with the world had become her go-to pastime. Why did he have to roll every pea around the plate individually before eating them? Why did he and his friends spend seven years socking each other in the arm to prove friendship? Why did he talk to himself in the mirror, even when he knew Sarah or someone else was standing in the doorway?

Sam Wilson was just deeply weird. She had no idea how he had tricked the Avengers, a plethora of bad guys, and half of the media world into thinking he was remotely cool. She saw a news story once that had King T’Challa standing on a platform with Sam and the newscasters talked about how impressive Sam’s suit was. It was unnatural, the effect he had on people.

And in all her years, she never thought she’d see anyone weirder than Sam. But then James Barnes had showed up. It was like a complete reversal of Sam. Sarah was taken in for approximately three hours by his charm and face before she realized he too was deeply, deeply weird.

She justified sitting on the edge of the Paul and Darlene, watching her brother and James Barnes spar off about some dumb trivia fact, by deciding it was an anthropological expedition. The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation. She watched Sam watch Barnes take a long pull off his beer. She watched Barnes kick his feet up near Sam’s legs and then draw them back quickly when a current jolted the boat. She watched Barnes’ fingers tap-tap-tap against the edge of the boat, inching closer to Sam’s shoulder before he chickened out and brought his hand back to his own lap. She watched Sam suggest Bucky take his jacket off, ‘unless you plan on sun blinding me with the robocop arm.’ She watched Sam look away when Barnes did shrug his jacket off.

When she was seventeen and Sam was fifteen, she had found Sam crying in his room, pillow pressed to his face to muffle the noise. They were at the age where going into each other’s rooms uninvited started international conflicts, but Sarah, who watched her brother intently, felt like she knew what was going on. So she let herself in through their Jack-and-Jill bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Sam didn’t stop crying, not even to yell at her to get out, so she sat on the end of his bed and rolled a baseball under her foot for a while. Finally, she’d said, “You don’t have to tell Mom and Dad, y’know.”

Sam had just about wailed and bit the corner of his pillow to stop himself.

“That’s gross, stop it,” Sarah ordered and pushed Sam’s shoulder back enough to yank his pillow free and then reached over to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I should make you do the laundry this week so I know I’m not touching your snot germs,” she teased softly.

“How did you know?” Sam hiccuped out. Tears were still brimming at his eyes, but they didn’t fall.

“I’m your older sister. I made you. Like a doll. You think there’s something about you that I don’t know?” she joked. And when the tears did spill over his long lashes, she sighed and pulled him closer to her side. “I just know the way you interact with that boy from the basketball team ain’t just friendly.”

“Jesus, do you think he can tell?” Sam asked and she could hear the mortification in his voice.

“Sam, he’s a freshman in high school. The only thing he knows is that he’s scared of everything too. No one’s paying that much attention to you.”

“Screw you,” Sam muttered.

“What’re all these tears for you if you didn’t make a move and get shot down?”

“God, Sarah, can you not say things like that?”

“Watch your mouth,” Sarah warned with no heat in her voice. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong. I’m not leaving until you do.”

“I just…” Sam sat up and worked his jaw for a while. His chin dimpled and his eyes watered but he managed to control himself. “I’m scared, Sarah. I’m scared of never being in love. Of having to leave if I am. I’m scared to say something and I’m scared not to say something. I’m so scared of...losing any of it.”

“Sam,” Sarah sighed and pulled Sam into another hug. “You’re fifteen. You’re not supposed to be in love yet. You don’t have to think about any of that. You just have to focus on passing Geometry, alright? Mom’ll whoop your ass more for failing than anything else.”

“I have a B+, that’s not failing!” Sam snapped. He kept his face against her shoulder for a second long before he sat up and wiped his tears away. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Who am I gonna tell? I told you, my friends don’t like you as much as you think they do.”

“Your friends like me more than they like you,” Sam shot back and he almost sounded normal.

Sarah smiled softly and patted Sam’s cheek. “I won’t tell Mom or Dad. Of course not. That’s for you to do. But--”

“I’m always going to tell them when you sneak out the window.”

“No! Sam! You can’t! You owe me now!”

“Going to field parties is not the same thing!” Sam said in a shriek as Sarah leaned over to pinch his sides. They grappled for a second before Sam managed to push Sarah off the bed.

“You owe me,” she reminded him as she walked back to the bathroom.

Sam wiped his eyes again and nodded. “Sure, Sarah. I do.”

Sam almost had the same look on his face now. Like there was something he wanted to reach for that he thought was too impossible to hold. The Older Sister Instinct to Antagonize into a Solution kicked in.

“Two bros, chilling on a boat, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay,” she sing-songed. Sam looked mortified again but masked his face into something more irritated with a roll of his eyes when Barnes looked over at him.

“Ignore her. It’s this old video--” Sam started.

But Bucky interrupted to say, “Actually I am gay,” as he looked back over at Sarah. “Sorry if I got your hopes up,” he added with a grin that really did get the hopes up.

“What?” Sam asked and Sarah, ever watchful, could see the beer bottle shaking in his hand.

“What?” Bucky repeated innocently.

“He said he’s gay,” Sarah clarified.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Sam ground out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Bucky snorted. “When would I have said anything? ‘Sorry for ripping your wings off and kicking you off of a hellicarrier, by the way I’m gay.’?”

“You did what?” Sarah asked.

“‘Sorry for claiming I didn’t bomb the UN only to be reverted back to the assassin who would have done that and then fighting you again. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Thanks for saving my life. Sorry about the giant undersea prison. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘There’s an imminent battle with weird ass space dogs that want to eat our faces. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Sorry about Tony Stark, whose life I kind of ruined. Lovely funeral. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘I’m in the middle of being pissed at you about the Shield. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Maybe don’t take me rolling through a field of flowers. It does things to me ‘cause I’m gay.’ ‘John Walker’s fucking insane. I’m gay, but definitely not for this bullshit.’ I mean, come on, Sam.”

“Flowers?” Sarah asked.

“Besides, why would you care? I don’t make it a habit of telling straight guys I’m into guys.”

“You don’t seem to make a habit of telling many people that,” Sarah pointed out. “I googled you. Nothing suggesting that came up.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m a guy from the 30s. It was trained out of me.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sarah said quickly. “Back up away from that because we’re not gonna try to Oppression Olympics our way through our histories. Did you just say Sam was straight?”

“Sarah!” Sam hissed.

“Sure. I mean, I saw him with Romanov. Hill. He has Tinder on his phone.”

“Samuel Thomas, you better not,” Sarah warned lightly. “You’re better than that.”

“He’s a lady-killer.”

Sarah snorted and had to bring her hand up to her face. “He definitely is not. There has been no lady-killing on his end for a long time.”

“Sarah!” Sam tried again.

“You explain it to him then. Mr. 30s is gonna need the long way round explanation.”

Sam sighed and dragged his hand over his face. “Dammit. Fine. I’m not straight either, alright? I’m...bi, or something. It’s been a while since I’ve had to think about it.”

“What?” Bucky asked, not unlike Sam had.

“He said he’s bisexual. Interested in both parties. Swings either way. Hit a homerun and then hasn’t really swung since.”

“Sarah, Jesus Christ,” Sam groaned.

“What?” Bucky asked again.

“I was engaged. To a man,” Sam said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked, clearly missing the irony.

“Oh, it was inconvenient for you but I had plenty of opportunities, huh?” Sam asked. “Ms. Tell-It-All over there wasn’t joking. I haven’t swung any direction in a while. Not since before I met Steve. My fiance died. And then it never came up.”

Bucky blinked at Sam. He kept bringing the bottle halfway up his body and then setting it back on his leg without ever taking a drink. “Fuck, Sam, I’m sorry,” Bucky said, which was not what Sarah was expecting and it clearly wasn’t what Sam was expecting because Sam finally moved closer to Bucky on the bench.

“What for? You didn’t do anything. This time.”

“Yeah, but if I’d known you were into me too, I woulda kissed you in Germany.”

“Oh, I am so not into you,” Sam denied. “And I wouldn’t have our first kiss ruined by immediately running into the government’s roving show monkey.”

“That’s the worst,” Bucky agreed and also finally moved over on the bench until they were pressed thigh to thigh. “Tell me how much you don’t like me again,” he challenged.

“I can’t stand you,” Sam answered and brought his hand up to Bucky’s jaw.

Sarah couldn’t fight down the grin that came to her face and turned to prop her feet on the pier, back to Sam and Bucky. Just this once, she didn’t need to watch her brother to understand him.

Read on AO3 here!

[malfoymanortings]

lavender and velvet //part two

SUMMARY: she had her fathers eyes, his aristocratic looks, her grandmothers spite, her mothers heart, but the one thing she didn't have was the love of her father that her god brother received. juliet black finally meets her father who has already decided who his child is.

PAIRINGS: to be decided.

hello again!! hope you all are doing well. i hope you all are enjoying juliet’s story so far! stay hydrated everyone.

“FILTHY BLOOD TRAITORS IN MY HOUSE, BESMIRCHING MY NAME, DISGUSTING-”

“Who the hell woke her up,” groaned Ginny, lifting her head off her pillow.

Juliet blinked blearily, the screaming words in the unfamiliar voice having woke her up. “What is that awful screaming?”

“That would be your grandmother's portrait,” Hermione yawned, standing up from bed and stretching her arms over her shoulder, her shirt riding up to expose her hips. “She absolutely hates us all.”

“Can we not burn it?” questioned Juliet, slinging her legs over the side of the bed and scratching her cheek.

Ginny shook her head, tossing her covers back and standing up. “Unfortunately, there's a rather tough permanent sticking charm on the back of it. No luck there.”

The girls made their way out of the room, watching as Sirius competed in a screaming match with his mother’s painting.

“Will you be quiet you bloody woman!” Sirius shouted, hitting the portrait with his palm. “Even in your death you manage to disturb me!”

“ROTTEN BLOOD TRAITORS, SHAME OF MY FLESH, IN MY HOME THE MOST NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK, HOW DARE THEY-”

“Enough!” roared Sirius, shutting the curtains with much more force than necessary. The screams filtered out, and finally silence echoed throughout the darkly lit hall.

“Who woke her this time?” queried Ginny, her voice quiet as to not wake the old woman.

“Your brothers,” Sirius shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his face. “They used their extendable ears on the meeting again, and they ran up the stairs to avoid your mother.”

Juliet watched as Sirius roamed his eyes over the girls, before stopping on her. He cleared his throat awkwardly, nodding to her. “Good morning.”

“One might think otherwise.” Juliet replied dryly, brushing past him. 

There was an awkward silence that followed, and she was soon in the kitchen where Molly was cleaning up while Harry and Ron sat at the table, eating breakfast. Hermione and Ginny joined her, Hermione sitting next to Ron, and Ginny sitting across from them. That left Juliet to sit across from Harry, a slight frown on her face.

“You lot slept forever,” remarked Ron, taking a large bite out of his toast. 

“Oh please, don’t act like you’re an early riser,” scoffed Ginny, scooping hash browns onto her plate. “This is the earliest you’ve been up in since the Quidditch cup, and I’m sure it was just because you were listening in with Fred and George.”

Ron’s ears turned red, and he mumbled something under his breath before taking a rather large drink of his pumpkin juice.

Juliet smirked, pouring herself tea, mixing in three sugars just as she liked it. A dash of cream, and it was complete. She sipped it slowly, the cup warming her cold hands. Grimmauld Place seemed to lack any sort of warmth, and the constant sound of wind blowing against the house was heard throughout. 

“Morning, dears,” Molly greeted the girls, setting down a bowl of fruit. “Help yourselves.”

As the rest of the table conversed among each other, Juliet stayed quiet, mulling things over in her head. She supposed it wasn’t too much unlike her other summers, as she stayed with the Weasley’s quite frequently, due to Remus’ condition, but it was too different for her to compare. Her father was here this time.

She had imagined this scenario many times before in her head, especially at night as a young girl. It was much different than this, however; normally her father would break out of Azkaban for her, and steal her away from Remus so she could help him with the Dark Lord. Once she found out he was innocent, her story shifted, and suddenly it was him breaking out of Azkaban to live a life with her, and proclaim his innocence. 

No matter the scenario she thought up, he always came back for her. She never thought there was someone else who he loved more.

“You alright?” Harry’s voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she realized she had been clenching her tea much so hard her knuckles were white.

“Fantastic,” she replied sarcastically, skewering him with a hard look. “I’m having the absolute time of my life.”

Harry blinked, and averted his eyes. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, looking away from her. Juliet rolled her eyes, shaking her head. 

Ginny nudged her, a silent plea to be nice. Juliet sighed, tapping her nails on the table. She wanted to be anywhere else but here.

She finished her tea quickly, and slipped out of the room. Wandering the halls, she herself drawn to a small room with winding branches as wallpaper. As she looked closer, she realized it was the Black family tree. 

Stepping further into the room, she looked closely at the names. She found the Malfoys, and she trailed her finger down the silver line connecting Lucius and Narcissa to Draco. A smile graced her face, and she wondered what her cousin was up to. Usually, the two of them spent time together over the summer, but with her spending time at Grimmauld Place, she wouldn’t be able to. Narcissa was lovely, and liked her niece, but Lucius wasn’t fond of her. However, she doubted Lucius was fond of anyone aside from Narcissa.

“I see you’ve found the family tree.”

Juliet turned to see Sirius leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. Instantly, she put her guard up, letting her arm drop to her side and her smile slip off her face.

“I didn’t mean to intrude,” Juliet paused. “I can leave.”

Sirius shook his head, striding forward. He stood next to her, looking at the branches. “This is your family history too. You haven’t got to leave.”

Juliet turned her attention back to the silver lines. Sirius leaned forward, pointing to a black spot on the wall. 

“That’s where my name was,” he explained. “And your mothers. My sweet old mother blasted me off once I ran away from home.”

“How did mine and my mothers name get on here?” asked Juliet, looking sideways at her father. 

“Well, whenever a Black is born they automatically get written into the tree,” Sirius let out a breath. “Your mother and I were both blood traitors, which is why our names were burnt out. Either she died before you were born, or she didn’t rush to make a judgement on you. I’m betting she died.”

Juliet nodded, her eyes drifting over towards Narcissa once more. Bellatrix was on there as well, of course, connected to Rodolphus Lestrange. 

“I never thought I’d be stuck in this house again,” Sirius said darkly, shoving his hands in his pockets. He walked away then, pausing in the doorway. “You’re welcome to look anywhere you would like. Maybe you’ll feel more comfortable if you do, after all, Slytherin pride was rampant in this house.”

For some reason, that comment rubbed her the wrong way. Before she could question exactly what he meant by that, his demeanor changed. He smiled brightly, holding his hands out.

“Harry,” He grinned, walking out of the room. “Molly putting you lot to work?”

Juliet stared out at where her father had just been, feeling her chest tighten. It was like he couldn’t be bothered to have more than a five minute conversation without feeling the need to run off to Harry. Feelings of unwant swept through her, and her throat tightened.

She turned her attention back to the wall, and she drifted her fingers across the lines. There were many other burn marks in the wall, and she could almost imagine her grandmother blasting the names off, perhaps laughing wickedly while doing so. 

Someone entered the room, and Juliet turned to see who it was. To her disappointment, it was Harry.

“This room is occupied, you know,” she said quietly, folding her arms across her chest. “I’m sure there’s many other places in this house you can be.”

“I can’t seem to understand why you dislike me so much,” responded Harry, stepping hesitantly in the room. “I dunno what it is that I’ve done-”

“I never said I dislike you,” she interrupted, stopping herself from rolling her eyes.

“If you don’t dislike me, then the way you’re acting is uncalled for.”

Again, her temper flared. “Uncalled for? You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Harry was cut off by Sirius entering the room, smiling at Harry. “Harry, there you are. I see you found Juliet. I’ve been meaning to talk to the both of you together, anyways.”

Juliet looked to Sirius, her fists balling up. She felt the sharp stab of her nails digging into her palm, but she didn’t care. She had a dark feeling she wasn’t going to like what he said.

“After my name is cleared,” Sirius began, his hands clasped behind his back. “I was thinking we could all finally be a family. We could all live here, or perhaps-”

“No,” Juliet cut him off, her temper coming to the surface. “You don’t need to include me in your plans out of pity. You want that for you and Harry. You don’t want me involved.”

“Why would you say that?” Sirius questioned heatedly. “I want the both of you-”

“Yet you only made time for one,” she shot back, her chest heaving. “You only escaped because Harry was in danger. Not because you missed your daughter. Not because you wanted your daughter. Because you wanted Harry. And each day, you make that abundantly clear.”

“You can’t seriously believe that!” exclaimed Harry, shaking his head. “He’s been trying to connect with both of us, but you keep yelling at him every chance you get-”

“Who did he send letters to?” Juliet seethed, glaring at Harry. “Who did he promise a life with third year? You. The only contact I had with him was Remus telling me it wasn’t safe for him to see me. But he saw you. He sent you letters. He couldn’t do the same for me?”

“Juliet, that’s enough,” Remus appeared behind Sirius, his face grim. “I understand you’re frustrated and hurt, but yelling at your father constantly isn’t going to bring the two of you closer.”

“I haven’t been yelling at my father,” she scoffed, brushing past the two men. “Not once did I shout your name, did I, Remus?”

It was quiet behind her after she said that. She was hoping the message had gotten through, that Sirius understood her hurt. That he understood that she didn’t view him as her father. As far as she was concerned, Remus was her dad. After all, he raised her. Took care of her. Told her stories of her father, making her think how great of a man he was, making her think that when she finally met him he would love her instantly-

Instead, that love went to Harry.

She didn’t realize she was crying until Ginny wiped her tears, leading her into their shared room. Ginny hugged her tightly, letting Juliet cry into her shoulder. She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want to be weak. 

Juliet pulled away, sniffing and wiping her face. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Ginny gave her a squeeze, nudging her shoulder. “That’s what family’s for.”

“I went fifteen years without him, y’know,” she said quietly, her hands in her lap. “I didn’t need him then, and I don’t need him now.”

Ginny bit her lip, and Juliet had known her long enough to know the fiery haired girl had something to say, but kept it quiet. Probably a good thing, because if one more person defended her father, she might combust.

“How about I go get you a snack?” Ginny stood, giving her shoulder one last squeeze. “You only had tea for breakfast. I bet mum has something sweet hidden away from Ron.”

Juliet laughed, nodding her head. Ginny left then, leaving Juliet to herself.

It was just like she had told Ginny. Fifteen years had passed without him involved. She wasn’t going to force him to be a parent. She had the Weasley’s. Remus. The Malfoy’s.

Maybe she should go visit them.

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taglist: @person1839 

again, just send me a message if you would like to be added to the taglist xx

[mightbewriting]

So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.

Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!

The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.

The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.

Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.

Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.

um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here. 

so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!

and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD

also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you! 

and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today. 

so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!

in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.

[itisannak]

Birthday Twins (Calum Hood Fluff)

Summary: Upon meeting her boyfriend’s family, (Y/N) discovers that his sister and her share more than she could imagine. (Request) (Words: 2k)

"They are going to hate me." I state, mind fixed on the worst-case scenario no matter how hard my roommate is trying to assure me otherwise. "They are not going to hate you. You are the most lovable person ever. Plus, their son seems to be the happiest ever since you got together, so they are going to adore you, like everyone else who has met you. "Ok, but what if they do? I can't go... I'll tell Calum I got sick." I panic and she sighs. "Ok, I know for sure that you are not going to make a good impression if you don't show up. And I know for sure that Calum won't buy it. He stayed here last night until 4 in the morning, when exactly did you get sick?" She asks, looking at me with irony. "In the morning. I really can't go. I will die of anxiety there." I sigh, flopping on the bed. "You will be just fine. His parents aren't monsters, they are normal people. And I think that Calum has already talked to them about how great you are, you beautiful and smart and so fucking talented it hurts." She rolls her eyes at me. "If I didn't know you are with Kaia, I would of think you are having a crush on me based on what you've just said." I joke, punching her shoulder softly. "Well, those were Calum's words. That one time you were both drunk and I had to take care of both of you. He kept on mumbling about you while I helped him to bed. He has already charmed them on your behalf, you just have to go and give them a visual of all the things they've heard. So, please, go. I will have my phone on and ready to calm you through texts... Only in the case of an emergency. Leave, or you'll be late." She pulls me up, shoving me out of the room. She hands me my phone and purse, looking at me with arched eyebrows so I know she is being serious. "Fine. If this goes horrible, it is on you." I threaten her and she chuckles. "But if it goes well, I call dibs on being your firstborn's godmother." She replies, tilting her head to the side. "Oh, we are rushing I see." I raise my hands in surrender. "I said I call dibs." She repeats, opening the door for me.

I park my car on the driveway, taking a moment to calm myself down before I enter the house. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to reverse all the what-ifs in my head; what if they love me, what if they think I am the greatest, what if they think of me as their son does... I feel my body relax, heart slowing down to normal rates. I got this... I think...

I walk through the little gate in the backyard, knowing that I will find them there; it is such a nice day for Calum to stay in. I am greeted by Duke who runs happily to me, whimpering so I will pet him. Following right behind, Calum smiles brightly, cheeks popping and dimples making their appearances a few inches from his mouth. "You came." He cheers, opening his arms and embracing me to his body. "Almost didn't. Mia convinced me to..." I sigh, wrapping my arms around his body. "Are you nervous?" He asks me, pulling a little back and bringing his thumbs to stroke my cheeks. His cologne still lingers, tickling my nostrils and making me feel at ease. "Shouldn't I?" I ask and he shakes his head in denial. "You really shouldn't. They already adore the air you breathe... They see that you make me happy and I have honestly talked their ears off telling them all about you. Plus, you look so cute in your little floral dress. You will have them wrapped around your finger at hello." He assures me, leaning in for a kiss.

"That must be the infamous (Y/N). It is so good to finally put a face on the legend." Mali cheers, walking towards us. I was expecting my heart to be jumping out of my chest, but she is so calm and soft that I find her aura calming. "That must be me. It is so nice to finally meet you. I have heard so much about you." I am in literal awe of her, Calum talks so greatly of her that I have developed a worship-like admiration for her. "Nice things, I hope." She turns to Calum, eyeing him a little. "All great things, I assure you." I giggle at how Calum tenses back as she scans him. She lets out a chuckle as she walks to me, hugging me softly. "Wanna go meet the rest of the gang? We were all waiting for you..." Mali says, pointing to the table where their parents are sitting; I can see his father craning his neck towards us, waiting for the moment we will walk over. "Sure..." I mumble, breathing in and fixing my posture. Calum gives me a soft smile, taking my hand in his; he tangles our fingers together, squeezing my hand to let me know he is there for me. Instinctively, my head falls to his shoulder, resting there as we walk to the table, both of his parents standing up to greet me the moment we reach it.

"Ah, the lovely (Y/N). We have heard so much about you." Calum's mom is the first to talk. I extend my hand to shake hers, leaving Calum's free. "I have heard so much about you as well. I have to admit, I am so nervous now that I am meeting you in real life." I chatter nervously, making Joy smile sweetly at me. "No reason, love. We don't eat people, do we now?" David asks me, giggling softly. Calum smirks at me, shrugging his shoulders as he tilts his head to the side. "I have been telling you, love." He pulls my chair out for me, prompting me to sit down. "To be honest, he did tell me that... I have just heard so much about you, and I have been admiring you for raising such an amazing man for so long that I really feel like I am meeting legends right now." I explain, fixing my posture. "This is so lovely for you to say. We raised amazing kids, they've turned out amazing." Joy reaches to stroke Mali's hand, bringing a wholesome smile on my face. "Calum has told us you are a musician as well." David turns to me, looking excitedly. "I am a singer, yeah." I smile as Calum serves some food. "Like our Mali." Joy cheers and I nod. "Yes, actually. I also do more indie songs and write my own lyrics, and to be honest, Mali is my number one inspiration." I explain, earning a coo from Mali. "I joke all the time that she is dating me just to meet Mali. I can't even count all the times we've listened to Sorry while in the car." Calum laughs softly; I gasp and turn to him, glaring with my eyes wide open. "Don't out me like that... But yes, I went through huge fangirl phases when Sorry was released." I look at Mali who smiles brightly. "I am so glad you loved it. And to be transparent with you, I've looked you up and I have to admit, you sound like an angel. You are mesmerizing." Mali compliments me, causing my heart to speed up and heat rise to my face.

"How did you two meet?" Joy asks Calum and me, making me smirk and let him do the talking. "I went for a drink at one of the bars she was singing at. I wasn't even paying attention to the stage until I heard her sing and I felt like I was in heaven. And that was it, I just had to go meet her after her set..." "So, imagine my surprise when one of the most iconic bassists and singers of my generation, if not of all time, walked in the backroom to compliment me for my singing. I think I literally gawk at him for a good minute." I complete, placing my hand on top of his. He smiles at me, leaning in to place a kiss on my forehead. "Did you ask her out that night?" David asks him. I giggle, knowing the answer to the question. "No, I chickened out. I didn't even ask her name that night. I walked out of the room and got back to the bar and I remembered I knew nothing about her, other than the fact that her voice sounds like an angel. I went back to ask more about her but she was gone. So I begged the bartender to tell me her name and then found her on Instagram and saw when she was having a show. I went there, 3 hours before the show and saw her during soundcheck. And waited until the minute she got off stage to go talk to her." "I didn't even take 2 steps off the stage when he asked me if I wanted to go grab a bite with him. And obviously, I said yes, and the rest is history." I sigh, smiling at the reminiscence of our early days. "Uh, so lovely. Like a movie." Joy chuckles and I feel my cheeks turn red. "Yeah, mom, you think it is like a movie... I was giving off real creeper vibes." He giggles and I bite my lip, laughing at the remark. "You were the least creepy of all the creepy dudes that had hit on me after a show." I state, stroking my fingers through his locks. "If that isn't true romance, I don't know what it is." Mali teases us. "I forgot to ask you, love. How old are you?" Joy asks. "Mom!" Calum protests. "It's alright, hon. She didn't ask me anything bad." I smile at him, placing my hand on his soothingly. "I am turning 23 in May." I reply. "Oh, we share the same birthday month. When in May?" Mali asks excitedly, pushing Calum back so she can look at me. "On the 19th. When is yours?" I ask, sharing the same excitement as her. "On the 19th as well. Oh God, we are like birthday twins." Mali says cheerfully, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Why didn't you tell me we share birthday with your sister?" I ask Calum who looks just a tiny bit frightened by our reaction. "I didn't make the connection, jeez." He mumbles, making everyone burst out in laughter. "Well, we will have to celebrate our birthday together this year." Mali suggests and I squeal. "Absolutely yes. I don't even mind flying to London for that party." I giggle, clapping my hands excitedly.

(Calum's POV) "It was a lovely meal. Thank you, son." My dad states as we finish off our food. "You are welcome, dad. Anyone want coffee?" I ask, everyone nodding at me. "Let me help." My dad offers, getting up from his chair.

We walk inside the kitchen, leaving the girls to their conversation. I start the coffee maker, taking in the aroma as I stare outside the window, watching the 3 women laugh at something. I smile, relieved that my family seems to adore (Y/N) and seeing her for the amazing person she is. "She is the one, huh?" My father asks, patting my shoulder. "What?" I ask, altering my attention to him. "I asked, she is the one, huh?" He asks again, chuckling at me. "I really think so, dad." I state, scratching the back of my head as I look at my mom, sister, and girlfriend talk, with not a trace of awkwardness. "She is a good woman, son. I know one when I see one." He joins me in staring at the ladies while waiting for the coffee to brew.

My Masterlist

[randomkposts]

Stalker with a crush

K: E, crack idea. Kyoto hitman reborn crossover with Yandere simulator

How the crack crossover would go, depends on who Yandere has a crush on.

The easiest would be Tsuna, who pre-reborn invokes protective feelings in Yandere, and makes them want to go after his bullies. They even had a kidnapping plan prepared, only for Reborn to show up, and all these guys to start surrounding him, like bodyguards.

Though it would be hilarious if Yandere crushed on Hayato, or Hibiri, for different reasons

E:Ong Plus its very norm for Tsuna to straight up tun into someone. And he's a sweetie.

The only time a girl ever liked him first and she's nuts.

K: It would be very Tsuna, wouldn't it

E: It would and it's hilarious for us. Now he can also pressured vy reborn to take the delinquents as a "Decimo" should uphold *something somthing reborn would say*"

Gokudera would probably jump the bomb on that one already goes on the delinquents.

Hibari would be suuuuuuper hard to get to even come to this place and honestly Yan-chan would find him as a t he eat *i mean as long as she ain't breaking rule she good*

K: That one opens up the most scenarios. Like a possible spinoff, where Yandere did go through with the kidnapping earlier, Nana tells her husband, and a crazy struggle opens up to find Tsuna. The Mafia, VS yandare's family, would be quite a battle.

E: Hibiri and Megami teeth clenched teamwork.

K: Yamato has so many fangirls (and boys) that it would probably start up some rivalry's, if Yan's attention is on him.

E:A long line of Yandere? Already implied to have some hands in the underworld. They're pretty damn great at tying up loose ends.

They haaaaate eachother so much. Well maybe Megami does, Hibari doesn't give a fuck.

K: Meanwhile, Tsuna and his future fiancee are in a different town, where nobody's bullying him, and it's a bIt weird, not terrible.

E: Yamato fanclub totally. You know I think Budo knows kendo I believe.

K: "Join the boxing club"

"I have formed my own club"

E: He would try that!!!! Someone would even explain to him you can join the other two clubs but nope!!

JOIN HIS BOXING CLUB

K: The other way it could swing, is Yandere becoming a Guardian. What kind of flame do you think they would have?

E: Yandere I always see to have either a cloud flame. Or malleable en9ugh to have storms.

K: I wonder if an argument could be made for lightning flame. Lightning's property is hardening, right? Except, rather than physical hardening being it's first use in the household, it's emotional hardening. We don't question it as much in the show, but Lambo is a 5 year old Hitman. And otherwise seems to be a normalish kid, demanding attention.

What if he hardened himself towards killing, in a bid for parental attention.

Or perhaps, he demands so much attention, because his parents are absentee

E: He was also sent out basically on a death mission by his own family.

Kids gotta be emotionally strong enough to be in a household like that. We never did find out what the hell his parents are even doing.

Not even Fuutas.

K:Yandere, uses hardening properties to achieve a different emotional effect. Hardening against them. Their dad is a kidnapped victim, living with his murderous kidnapping wife who is obsessed with him first and foremost, and teaching the kid to be like her. Social skills were not taught particularly well as a small child, which led to further isolation from peers. They didn't even notice they were doing it, just shut It all out.

E: True. Even Yan mother even see her as a threat. Imagine being on the side of a murderous intentions from your own mother.

Yan has to be emotionally hardened at this point. She is pretty good to have as a mafia ally. I mean it's not far fetched for them to try to control her . I mean they have Mukuro with them. The Yakuza ending also pretty much stated she would join them. She kidnaps a lot of girls and boys without getting caught.

K: Tsuna, catches their attention. This boy, who the school calls no good, who is failing his classes, who is ruthlessly picked on. He keeps coming. And they start to get mad at the people who keep picking on this sweetie, and then he talks to them one day, and that's it. They feel a lot for him & are determined to put a smile on his face.

And while just talking to him would probably do that , Yandere is too shy to do that, and resorts to other things.

And they are unhardening, and finding emotion can be brought to the forefront to do things for him, and he must be Sempi.

Hayato gets kidnaped a few times (and rescued by Bianchi and others), before Yandere realized they both are here to protect Tsuna

Like, before they bond over that, Hayato is out smoking or something, and just gets nabbed.

He has conspiracy theories over who is kidnapping him.

He kind of just wakes up in these random houses.

One time Hibiri rescues him, and goes after Yandere for disturbing the peace, with kidnapping. And Hayato gets rescued from the truck by kusakabe.

The Yakuza are doing the kidnapping, because that would cut into time with Senpai.

E: Other things like leaving encouraging note to him in his locker or small gifts he would like *honestly Tsuna would be so touched if someone even remembers to include him in something. And it is canon option for Senpai*

Would Yandere be more lax in them? If he is also interested in protecting Senpai, then ally?

Omg.

Stop cutting into time with Senpai, she makes sure he gets home safe!

K: Eventually, they decide, with all the problems that come after Sempai, more people on the job may not be a bad thing.

How would Reborn react to all of this? Would he be dropping cryptic hints.

K: He totally would.

He's probably not liking how much attention Yan would bring if she isn't careful. Impressed with her skills, but honestly who is he to judge in his own profession. Utilize her skills. He would have already gone through her background even her parents. Ryoba history is the most surprising so far.

K:How would Mukuro becoming Sempai possibly come about? As a what if, I mean. It's pretty unlikely, given he's in prison, as is most of the Varia, but this is a crack premise, so it's a possibility, I guess.

If she's the most surprising so far, then he has not gotten far into the family history.

E:Well can it be possible for Chrom to be senpai? She's quiet and sweet. Kind and Senpai can be a girl or boy either way doki doki.

Ahaha yeah, true. He hasn't gona so far cause he wasn't expecting her parents to be ...well a boy who went missing and a girl who was on trial of a decade for murder.

He probably started looking into Yan history if he noticed her skulking around Tsuna.

K: That's a good point.

Operation: find Sempai organs is a go

A family history reading that disturbs Reborn the more he reads it.

E:FIND HER MATCHING ORGANS

The more he goes, the more fucking questions he has. How big is this family even?

He would start looking in local Yakuza history or the underworld to see if Aishi family has connections to it.

K: With Yandere unhardening, through friendship, operation organs may happen anyway How long has this been happening, and why was it none of the reports!!?

E: If senpai cares for his friends and wants them happy, if that makes Senpaj happy she would do it.

CAUSE AISHI'S ARE HELLA DETAILED IN THEIR WORK

They slip under the radar as they please. Reborns a bit chilled at how long this has been going on and no one seems to notice

It happened in literally thousands of people watching and she still was acquitted innocent

Reborn can see Yan as a blessing in a really messed up disguise as she has talking a liking towards Tsuna. Maybe this can work in his favor

K: Who else is in this investigation ?

E: *lol Yan is pretty pissed at how much trouble Reborn puts Senpai in*

WAIT WE FORGOT ABOUT THE REPORTER. (C :Part of reborns investigation? Maybe Info?)

K: Idk, isn't he worried she might kidnapping him?

E: Maybe, but is she did Reborn would be getting kinda loose in his abilities as a hitman if that happens

K: what about info and the rivals?

E:With the right manipulation he can make it work. Yan may be a dangerous girl but she's still too young and is still learning. Rivals? Depends on how they react with Tsuna?

If Yan find out about Kyoko, she a dead girl. Nah jk, Ryohei wouldn't let that happen and IF TSUNA EVER FOUND OUT.

K:It could happen in the future. Just one day, the demecio dissapes.

Does he still have a crush on Kyoko, in this world? It's middle school, and another rival may have caught his interest. maybe Ami?

E: Well I kept thinking back to One day Decimo disappears and honestly i really like that idea he just vanishes

K: Did his lightning grab him, or was it someone else? Can you see Tsuna having a crush on any of the Yansim rivals instead of Kyoko?

E: Yan i wanna say to most. Dedication and honestly it can be the long game. Everyone thinks they're finally as normal as they can get. But one day maybe during a siege, **i wanna say Yan helped it start but that would be redundant maybe take opportunity of it happening to do it* they Tsuna.

Hmmm definitely Ami

Osana is like "ehhh" why she keep going tsuntsun on him

Mida/and the Nurse is obvious no

He might blush *i would too what the hell is the dress code in Akademi???*

Osoro would scare him

Hanako would probably like him to be honest,

K: Would Kokona show up?

E: He think sport club leader Asu is pretty cool

K: and Oka? Osoro?

E: Kokona is fucking sweetie too. OKA IS TOO PRECIOUS. BUT SHE WOULD KINDA SCARE HIM WITH THE OCCULT STUFF. She would remind him of Chrome

K:they should meet!!

E:Osoro would scare him. Like a female Hibari just more hnnn i dunno i say sane to

THEY SHOULD OMG I WOULD DIE FROM HAPPINESS.

K: Osoro and Hibari fight a lot due to disturbing the peace. Are they both clouds you think?

E:Uekiya would also be a great choice too!

HIbari would fight her cause of her delinquents. Hibiri isn't going to have that.

I wanna see her delinquents vs the disciplinary committee.

MY YANKEE HAIRED ELVIS BOIS ARE GONNA WIN.

K: Just imagine the students desensitised to Hibiri and Osoro fighting.

"Oh this happens whenever she comes back from suspension"

Reborn is a bit perplexed to find two strong clouds having a frequent battle is normal, and hasn't destroyed the area yet

E: The delinquents from Akademi were former bullied student’s which is why Genka is so lenient on them. She feel guilty on how it went so faR.

[bonelesswords]

a study of souls | alex høgh andersen au

Chapter five: Loser 

gif credit: @lol-haha-joke​ 

- masterlist

Warnings: Language, sexual content, mentions and using of drugs, mentions of a toxic relationships, grammar mistakes (english is not my first language)

Note: HERE IS IT, FINALLY. It took me so long but now I'm on vacations for like three months so I have sooo much time to write. If you like it let me know and if you didn't let me know as well(??, I looove feedback 💖

I know in advance how toxic is for me to expect bad things and imagine the worst scenarios before something good happens. But when the clock starts approaching at 9:40 and there is no possible way for Alex to tell me if he is on his way or not, it is a bit inevitable.

My mind wanders, in a tortuous way, in the possibility that he has forgotten that he invited me out, or simply does not want to come. I imagine the horrible situation of having to tell Grandma that, in the last moment, the boy I talked about will not come. Or even worse, I imagine having to see Alex's face after that.  

Grandma has already gone to bed and I am the only person in the living room, with the only company of the dim light of the lamp on the small table next to the sofa, unlocking and locking the phone, forgetting that Alex doesn't have my number and that he won't send me any messages.

Despite all the thoughts that crossed my mind a few seconds ago, I can't help feeling totally nervous, I didn't want to call that a date out loud, but between me and myself that was what it seemed, and it was scary. I haven't had a date for a long time, And I wasn't sure if the things we had with William were dates, they didn't look anything like that. However, I have a fuzzy memory of high school, although almost nothing; during the first years all the girls talked about that, if the boy did not kiss you on the first date, he wasn't interested in you or he was a loser, that was the most effective way to know.

I think that at fifteen everything was easier, I didn't think too much and had fewer first dates than the rest of the girls, but now, at twenty-one, it is even difficult for me to be completely sure that Alex is going to show up or not.

It's not until 10:05 that the sound of the bell rings in my ears, scattering all the silly thoughts in my head. While I get up from the couch I can't help feeling a little, maybe too dumb. I wait a few seconds before walking to the front door with the key in my hands. When I put it in the lock, it seems to echo throughout the house.

I open the door and see Alex in the darkness of the porch of the house, dressed completely in black, with his hands buried in the pockets of his pants. Suddenly, I feel his gaze travel me from top to bottom, to return to my face directly, with a smile a little playful in his face. The nervousness explodes in my stomach but it's fine, I'm fine.

"I see we are matching tonight." He says, meaning that I am also dressed completely in black, in tight jeans and a simple hoodie.

"It looks like we're going to rob a bank. "I respond leaving home and closing the door behind me.

"Maybe to rob a bank is where I'm going to take you tonight."

"That's fine for me." I shrug with a smile on my face, he smiles back but doesn't say nothing for a few seconds.

"Hi June, by the way."

"Hello Alex, I think you are more punctual than I thought."

"I am, actually. Plus, I didn't want you to think I wasn't coming." Confesses, as if he had read my mind. I laugh, maybe it's late for that.

I start down the porch stairs while he follows me, I hear him take a bunch of keys, and when I see from the corner of my eye that they are car's keys.

"Ah, June, I forgot. I introduce you to my car." Alex says with a mocking smile on his lips and points to the only black car that is parked in front of the house.

"Uhh, he looks good." I joke, even though Rory works with cars all the time, I didn't know anything about them, nor about brands or models. My most detailed description of Alex's car is that it is a very pretty black car.

"I bought it a few weeks ago." He explains, going around the car and opening the pilot's door. When he is inside I see him stretch to open the door in front of me.

I get in the car and after putting on my seat belt, I look at him, but this time I look at him fully, under the light of the car I can stare at him better. Only in that moment I realize that the blue and violet bruises have almost disappeared from his face, making me see him almost different because, from the first time I saw him until the last, he still had a black eye.

"He has no mame?"

" You're obviously Rory's sister." He says with a smile on his face, making me laugh loudly.

"Of course I am! When he started working at the garage, I used to go and visit him after school. We named every car" I explain "Yours should have a name."

"Like what?" he inquires, now a little interested.

"You have a nice car, cute cars have ugly names." I tell him but he frowns.

"Who says?"

"Well, me" I answer and he lets out a loud laugh.

"I won't give it an ugly name, June. It has to be a cool mame, like Max."

"Max is boring! You're not naming it Max" I protest shaking my head, but sighs while looking at me smiling, is it so wrong to think that he has a beautiful smile? It is obviously not wrong, the problem is that I would think about it all night.

"You tell me, then. Why does it look like?"

I cross my arms and look around the car as if I were examining it, but I also try to visualize how it was on the outside. I am sure it was recently washed. It is not too bright or too dull, and it is fine. I like it.

"It's Billie" I give my verdict but he looks at me as if he couldn't believe that the most basic name in history has just come out of my mouth. With narrowed eyes and shaking his head, he protests:

"It doesn't look like Billie" He crosses his arms, turning slightly towards me. "Billie is a weak name!"

"You got a weak name!" I try to fight back and Alex laughs, despite complaining, he looks resigned to my choice of name.

"Fair enough, it's Billie, then, just because I can't think a better name." He says and directs his eyes to the front to start the car, I giggle but I say nothing more. Alex continues to look straight ahead, but looks sideways from time to time. "You're not vegan, right?"

"I'm not, why?"

"Because yesterday when I left the bakery I kept thinking about where to take you today, and I tried to remember all the times when Rory talked about you but I couldn't think of anything, besides that Rory talks about you as if you were fourteen or something, sometimes I forgot." I Instantly notice that Alex is quite expressive with his hands, he flips the wheel often only to make a gesture with his left hand. "Because he says" my little sister this, and my little sister the other ", but anyway, I thought that if there is something that is impossible that you do not like are the hamburgers, unless you are vegan."

"Vegan burgers exist, though"

"I know, but I'm not going to take you to eat a vegan burger, June. I'm going to take you to eat the third best burger I've ever had in my life." He tries to fake some mystery in his voice, but fails.

"That sounds promising but, hey, the third one? What happened to the first two places?"

'Well," he begins to explain, "The first place is in a food stand near the subway station, the second is in a small supermarket near home, neither of them are open at this time. Besides, I'm not going to take you to those places."

"Okay, I'm going to believe you for now, but I'm going to have to check it out later."

The car advances for minutes with the windows low, Alex talks about the music that plays, is connected from his cell phone and I tell him that I am glad that he plays his own music because I would hate that he was that kind of person who enjoys listening to the radio, just as Rory is, and that I would hate to tell him that I hate the music of the radio. Alex laughs, he laughs at all the bad jokes I make and makes me wonder if they actually make him laugh or he does just for convenience, but I try to push those thoughts as far as possible.

I recognize this part of the city because it's close to Alex and his brother's bar, but not so much. He parks in front of a restaurant with large windows that allow me to easily see people sitting in chairs. When we got closer, I realize that the place looks like those old bars that were on the routes in the middle of nowhere and I like it, I had never been on that side of the city. I can tell that it is also a café and a bar.

"I made a reservation today." He says opening the door of the place, with a smile on his face.

"Seriously?" I ask laughing.

"No, I have just come here to say that I was coming at night and if they could keep me a table." He explains to me as we approach the bar where the cash register is located. "I used to work here a few years ago, the owner and I get along."

I sit down and wait a step behind him when he rests his arms on the counter, standing on his toes to see who is in the kitchen behind the bar. A red-haired girl who shouldn't be under sixteen comes up with a yellow apron tied around her neck and a big smile on her face when she sees Alex.

"Oh, hi Alex! My mom told me you were coming today." She says, with the small eyes of so much smiling. Alex smiles almost the same way as her, although not with the same enthusiasm she shows.

"Nice to see you Annie, why are you working this late?"

"It's barely 10:30, but yes, I'm helping mom. Saturdays are usually long nights."She explains and only then she realizes my silent presence, her smile fades a little, but when she looks back at Alex, she takes the same strength as before. I had not seen anyone smile as much as she did. "Who's her?"

"Ah, June. This is Annie, my friend when I used to work here." I take a step forward and greet her, although Annie doesn't have the same enthusiasm as before.

"Okay, it's the same table as always. The menu should be there." Alex nods and thanks her before he starts walking towards a table in the back of the place, located next to one of the windows that overlooked the street.

He slides in one of the red chairs to the wall and I do the same with the chair in front of him.

"You really are the most enchanting person, aren't you? How is that i haven't met you before?" I ask as I put my chin in the palm of my hand.

"I guess I have to recognize it, but why this time?"

"I'm talking about that girl, who looks like you've made her day just by coming here, oh but believe me, you've ruined it in two seconds by bringing me."

"Now I'm not following you at all, little June." Alex approaches the edge of his chair, frowning but intrigued.

"What I'm saying, dear Alex, is that that girl is so into you that i'm surprised her face doesn't hurt from smiling so much." I explain but he remains silent for a second, with his eyes wide open, until he begins to shake his head repeatedly.

"That's impossible, because she just turned seventeen, June. I'm pretty sure she knows I'm twenty-five, in fact, for my birthday she gave me a scone." He begins to speak quickly, almost stumbling over his words, but his last sentence makes me let out a laugh so loud that I'm sure it was heard from outside.

"And? I am not saying that you are going to be with her, that's obvious, she is a teenager. I'm just saying that it is very silly of you not to have noticed before and bring me here" A glow of disappointment makes presence in his eyes when he realizes what I am talking about.

"But I just wanted to bring you to eat the third best burger in the world. What should I do? I mean, you're a girl, you should know." Concern sneaks into his voice, and despite the feelings that Annie obviously has for him, I know he doesn't want to upset her.

"Nothing, Alex. She's seventeen, she will remember you as the guy eight years older than her that she used to like in high school. She'll get over it, we all do it."

"Are you sure?" He asks again.

"I'm sure." I try to convince him. "But I mean, come on, how do you guys don't notice things like that?"

"I notice those things." Alex tries to look offended, but he can't hide his characteristic arrogant smile. "I mean... you?"

"I don't like you." I lie, just to bother him.

"Of course you like me, you always blush, it has to mean something."

"Oh, believe me, that doesn't mean anything. Does Annie blush when you talk to her?"

"No, but that's because I don't say to her the same things I say to you."

"Oh, you're so full of shit." I roll my eyes, causing him to laugh.

"No, but really. When I see someone I might like, I notice. But ... Annie? She could be my little sister, she's seventeen! But you know what do I do when I like someone?"

"You're not supposed to tell me that." I interrupt him.

"I take her to eat the third best burger in the world." He ignores my protest and I nod repeatedly, although my heart skipped a beat, I manage to have the same composure as before.

"So are you telling you bring every girl you like here?" I inquire, crossing my arms over my chest, he tries to stay serious, opening his mouth to speak but closing it automatically. He raises his index finger, as if trying to defend himself but I took him off guard.

"That's not when I was trying to say..."

"I have an idea of what you were trying to say." I interrupt him again and he shakes his head, almost resigned.

"Anyway, did you just tell me you got over your Alex?" Alex moves on his chair until he gets a little closer to the table, a little closer to me.

"Of course I did, except that I had a little more luck with my Alex, but my hopes were too high. His name is Hugh and he is now in rehab." I start telling him and he opens his eyes wide, getting a little closer to the tip of his seat.

"The guy the lady was talking about yesterday, right? Your ex boyfriend?"

"Yes, but he wasn't my boyfriend, his grandmother knows me because sometimes we went to his house, but I never talked to his mother, I don't know her. The lady thought I was his girlfriend because we used to see each other, but if so, Hugh would have perhaps too many girlfriends. "Alex nods slowly, understanding my point.

"And he broke your heart." He says, half as a question, half as an affirmation.

"Yes, something like that. At seventeen it felt like he had done it."

"And now?"

"Not so much, at that moment it felt that way, but then you grow up, you realize that there are worse things than believe that someone have broken your heart."

"Like what?" he asks again while a half smile starts to appear on his face.

"I don't know, that someone breaks it for real"

In that moment, a waitress approaches our table and asks if we have already decided our order, but neither of us has touched the menu that is on the table that separates us, but he already knows what to ask for. Alex makes the order, the girl writes it in a small notebook and when she finishes, she turns around and starts walking towards the kitchen again.

I still feel as if a lot of stones had settled in my stomach but he doesn't look anything like that, on the contrary, his back is resting completely on the seat while he looks through the window. I follow his gaze until I find his car, it is badly parked, the front wheel is too close to the sidewalk lane and the rear wheel is too far away, but he doesn't seem to care or doesn't seem to notice.

"Maybe it does look like Billie, you know?" He looks at me again smiling, which makes me smile as well.

The burgers take a long time to arrive and Alex explains that it is because there are many people today, besides, to make such a burger, you have to take the time to do it, that's what he said. Meanwhile, he asks me about the trip Grandma gave me to New York, and suddenly and to my bad luck, he starts to be a little too interested in the subject.

"And how is it that your grandmother gave you a trip to you but to Rory nothing? If Luke would go to New York, at least, he would have to take me with him." He raises his eyebrows, while shaking his head in disapproval, making me laugh.

"Grandma can be very stubborn at times." I explain "so much that she may think that there are things that can be fixed with gifts like that."

"Are you telling me that New York didn't fix anything for you?" He asks joking.

"Almost, I wish that it did actually. I mean ..." I pause, trying to find what to say next. "Have you seen gossip girl?" My question is too serious, but not so much, because he throws his head back, closes his eyes and starts laughing, causing me to do the same. "I'm serious!" I exclaim in laughter.

"Sure, sure, sorry." He apologizes, trying to calm his laughter and make a serious face, I roll my eyes. "I have to confess, I have watched Gossip girl."

"Seriously, it seems too cheesy but when you're there, you think it wasn't as cheesy as you thought and maybe the movies were right. It has its magic, suddenly, the idea of returning home becomes too sad. " I start to wander and when I realize, I can't help feeling a little embarrassed, but when I look him in the eye again he is paying attention to what I say and once again, I fail. My face is totally red. "I don't know, it's different."

"Different in which way?"

"Different in a way that, the mornings are different, the sunsets and well, the nights are something else ..." My voice goes out when I see the waitress who ordered us to approach with a tray and two burgers whose size I am not sure I can finish.

Alex laughs at my surprised face when the waitress puts the hamburger on my plate, and when I raise my gaze to see him again, he raises his eyebrows, signaling that I must begin.

I drop my back in my seat, sliding a little down, letting out a big sigh. Alex looks at me with a radiant smile.

"That's it, I can't finish it." I confess, reaching out to reach the glass with coke on the table.

"You're weak." reproaches leaning his arms on the table.

"I'm a normal person with a normal stomach, I don't know what are you. But this isn't going to stay that way. I'm going to wrap it up and I'm going to take it home."

He laughs for the thousandth time at night and after seeing me squirm for a few seconds, he talks.

"So...?" I straighten up and get close to the table by leaning my arms on the table in the same way he did.

"Well, it's fair," I start "It has no lettuce, but it does have tomato, and bacon and lots of cheese. It's fair."

"Can it get in your burger top?" He asks, wrinkling his nose.

"Unlike you, I had not paid much attention to the burgers I have eaten throughout my life, but yes, it could be. And since I am not a critic of burgers and I settle for very little, I will give it a ten" I state and he raises his fist shaking it in victory.

"Well, then I guess you won't be up for an ice cream."

"No if I don't want to vomit when I arrive home, thank you anyway." I say nodding.

"Next time I guess." He lets out a big sigh.

"Next time, that sounds interesting."

"Have I passed the test?" He asks raising his eyebrows and I remember when I told him that if I had a good time, I wouldn't tell Rory that his best friend invited me out.

"Yes, I think. The burger actually did you the favor, and the music in your car maybe too. "

"So did I make up for you?" A half smile begins to dance on his lips as he gets a little closer to my face.

"You did, I hope you next party won't be as messy as the last one"

"I hope so too."

After paying I stay for a while talking with him at the table before we leave. Alex is much calmer when what comes out of his mouth is not just flattery, and although most of the time he doesn't say things that make me blush, he does it anyway, like when he looks at me paying close attention or laughs in a joke what I do. However, it seems that there is nothing that removes that arrogant smile from his face when my face turns completely red, it is part of him. I notice that he doesn't need to try to be charming at all, he just is like that, winking when he knows what I'm thinking, smiling sideways maybe too often. It is natural.

We left the place a while later, jumping around and talking about when he started working in the restaurant, he opens the passenger door and lets me in.

"Tell me something, what's up with the thing of holding the door for you, ladies?" He asks funny, but I wrinkle my nose.

"Well, do you do the same for your male friends?" I inquire

"Mmmm, no, I don't think so." He responds by frowning.

"You know, men usually excuse themselves saying that is just good manners, but they only do that with women. Start doing that with everyone and then I'll believe you it's good manners." Alex sighs, denying with his eyes closed. "But hey, I'll tell you a secret."

"What?" He asks curious.

"That's not the worst thing men do to women." I stare at him for a few seconds, he looks at me like I'm about to kill him, until I start laughing and his worried face disappear.

"Man, it's just so hard to be a man these days" He jokes and after I let out a laugh, he starts the car back home.

The car advances with low windows and the autumn wind crashes in my face as he keeps talking, he seems not to run out of conversation, which is good, because I almost always make a fool of myself trying to talk something new, but he notices that I'm lousy at talking first, so he does it. He tells me that he has a dog in his house, says that Luke did not approve when Alex talked about adopting one a couple of months ago, so he hid it from him for a while until one day he forgot, and when Luke visited him at his house, he got a big surprise.

"Where do you keep him when you throw parties?" I ask, remembering that when I went to his apartment I didn't see any black dogs.

"He has a little house in the patio of the bar, when there are parties the bar is closed and he stays there. He likes music anyway"

"I imagine." I respond laughing. I direct my eyes to his profile, his eyes are fixed to the front on the road and both arms are stretched towards the steering wheel. His jaw tenses when he realizes I'm watching him and looks at me amused.

"What are you seeing so much?" There he goes, that stupid smile again.

"Your bruises are almost healed" I explain

"Ah, yes, that. Sometimes I forget, but yes, it's almost as if nothing had happened to me. I wish I could say that the other guy got worse, but that night I was a little drunk."

"A little?" I ask laughing.

"A little too much." He affirms.

"At least you learned the lesson?"

"I would like to say yes, but you know, June. Sometimes, people get the worst of me." He jokes and I can't help feeling a little curious about the subject, so I allow myself to inquire a little more.

"He or she?" I let out. He looks at me smiling naughty, a sign that I have not offended him.

"So you've heard the gossip, huh?"

"Sure, it was impossible not to do it" I answer, but I wait with hopes that he will continue speaking.

"I guess she, but I told you, she's angry because I don't pay more attention to her. Besides, I don't want to get back into a fight like that. Luke always gets mad at me and ugh, your brother, don't get me started. This time they said it was the last one that they would stand me in that way. So, yes. As long as I don't get someone to offers me a place to crash when they hit me until almost unconsciousness, I won't be able to do it again." He takes a long breath after giving me another fleeting look and looking back at the road.

"Well, you know my adress already." I joke and he laughs shaking his head.

"Don't joke like that, I might take it seriously."

Alex parks in front of my house and the street is so desolate that it is almost scary. The sound of the engine stops, and suddenly, the tension could be cut with a knife. The silence feels too loud when I look into his eyes, his gaze seems anxious, as if, for the first time since I met him, he didn't know what to say. Alex doesn't look like the type of person who runs out of things to say, but at this moment, he does. He opnes his mouth, but then closes it.

"So..." I try to start talking, nos sure what to say next.

He clenches his lips and my heart skips a beat. It is too obvious that his gaze is on my lips and mine on his. I know that I could approach and kiss him myself, I know it would be very easy but the uncertainty and my insecurity are much stronger than my impulses. I close my fists on my lap and it almost feels as if my hands are burning, the tips of my fingers tickle. He approaches me and gives me the security of approaching me too, being almost at the edge of the seat, Alex returns to take a momentum, with his lips slightly open and I look forward to it, too much for my bad luck, because when I hear the sound of the safety belt lock he seems to lose all the security he had only two seconds ago. His gaze makes his way to my eyes again and he knows it, me too. We fucked it up. He fucked it up.

"It's Julia's birthday next friday, She told me she wants to see you there." He whispers slowly, as if nothing had happened just a second ago. I feel a horrible sensation in my stomach, as if the cravings had transformed into disappointment from one second to the next. I unbuckle my seat belt and nod, trying to smile.

I feel pathetic.

"I guess I'll see you there, then."

"I hope so." Answer, I look down and nod again.

"Goodnight, Alex. Thank you for everything." I finish and when I open the car door I hear him say goodbye too.

"Good night June..."

I walk to the porch feeling my heart beating in my mouth. I close the door behind me as I enter and let myself fall to the floor with my hand on my chest. Fuck it, he was a loser.

[theonceoverthinker]

"Can You Deny Us the Triumph in Store?" (Rumbelle) (1/?)

Summary: The lifeblood of Belle’s very existence is the opera. Since her mother introduced it to her at five years old, she’s loved it with all her heart. Now, as a grown woman with dreams of writing the Paris Opera House’s next great success and a magnum opus nearing its completion, she’ll need to contend with obstacles almost more dramatic than the work of fiction she pens. Things take a turn when two men take an interest in her work, and suddenly, Belle finds herself on a journey of trust, forgiveness, and perhaps even love. 

AO3           Fanfiction.net

A/N: Hi! This is my first ever Rumbelle fic -- happy to be here with all you lovely folks!

I started this idea from the jumping off point of “Could a Rumbelle ‘Phantom of the Opera’ AU work in a scenario where Rumple was Raoul?” As a longtime Phantom of the Opera fan (All versions), I feel like over the years, I’ve grown to not only like, but really respect and admire the Christine/Raoul pairing and that’s something I wanted to play around with here. And what I came up with ended up feeling pretty true to Rumple and Belle’s characters as well as a fun mix of OUAT, Beauty and the Beast, and of course, The Phantom of the Opera, all alongside a different, more shorthand-based writing style that I’m really excited to try out here. I hope you feel the same way about it too!

Tagging @mrs-stiltskin! If you want to be tagged in future installments as well, please let me know!

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CHAPTER ONE: MELODIE DE PARIS

The year 1890 exists within an age of discoveries, an epoch that sheds light on all manners of beauty. From walks of human life across the world’s surface, possibilities of exactly what people can create with their hands, minds, and hearts are explored in a way they’ve never been before. And of all the lands that this age touches, few places capture the modern ideals of this time better than the city of lights. Paris is experiencing a renaissance of art, music, vibrancy, and knowledge, and the epitome of the city’s progress and lust for life and love is the Paris Opera House. What lays inside the doors of this majestic theatre is a bustling community in itself with all manner of singers, dancers, designers of every kind, stagehands, business people, and others who rush across halls, stages, and balconies as they go about living their lives. 

It is in this palace of music -- where the creative people of Paris come to make magic a reality -- a woman, underestimated in all that she does, but exceptional in what she brings life into spends her days.

Her name is Belle Ébréché.

Belle Ébréché, a woman of twenty-three years, is a dancer at the Paris Opera House. For hours upon hours every day, whether at the behest of an audience or not, she and ten other girls work their feet to the bone as they further strive to perfect their craft. However, her dream is not fulfilled -- not completely in any event. While talented on her feet, definitely enough to earn her keep in the ballet, her ambitions don’t lie with her toes to the floor of a stage. Instead, they reside with a quill that’s as much a part of her body as her lungs to a sheet of parchment...for you see, Belle wishes to write an opera.

Belle’s love of the opera began relatively early, though not through her eventual chosen avenue of expression itself at first. No, the seeds of her love of stories and storytelling were originally planted by her mother, Colette. Night after night starting from her first evening wails, Belle was sent off to the realm of dreams with passages from books that soothed and lulled her to sleep just as well as the very cradle that held her form. And as she grew, Belle’s love of books created an equal love for the imaginations of men and women and their many artistic achievements. Finally, when she was five, as if the heavens themselves arranged it to forever cement that love, Belle was introduced to something that would forever change her life -- The Opera.

While Belle had always loved stories, operas were stories taken to a new level. They were windows to lives she could never dream of that not only painted vivid visions in her mind of stories, characters, and lines, but allowed those visions to exist in a way even her imagination couldn’t accomplish. As Belle took in all the opera had to offer, she was entranced by the sets that took her to foreign lands, the sweeping tales of romance, history, and adventure, and the music that made her heart swell and unlock emotions never before known to her. By the time her first opera, “Béatrice et Bénédict” was through, Belle knew she wanted nothing more in life than to be a part of the experience that opened her world to new possibilities.

However, such happiness, as happiness tends to be, was too good to last. After two years of bi-annual trips to the opera, following the death of the very source of that happiness, they stopped. Collette’s passing left Belle crushed and while grief overtook most of her headspace, her determination to become part of the opera was still as present as ever. Now, it was her deepest wish -- no, more than that. Now, it was her destiny, one Belle knew her mother would want for her.

But Belle found herself quite alone in that mindset. 

As her convictions and desires for a life in the opera grew ever stronger, her father, Maurice’s patience for her passions only weakened. In truth, complications between Maurice and Belle weren’t uncommon even when Colette was still alive, but with a mother and a wife taken from them, a crucial part of their bond went with her.

And part of that waning bond was a disregard for Belle’s passion for the arts, which he deemed as ‘flights of fantasy.’ Maurice was never won over by operas to begin with, but grief turned his indifference into a means to mock his daughter. For years, that misery is how they went about their days, and while Maurice had fully succumbed to feelings of bitterness, Belle fought them off in the name of achieving her life’s purpose.

But even the strongest of resolves could grow weary under the constant duress of those without faith in them. Eventually, after years of enduring such constant belittling, Belle understood that her only hope for peace and a true chance at following her dream was to leave home. So, with only some scant essentials and a few mementos of her mother, Belle took off for where she knew her calling would be: The Paris Opera House. 

The night Belle arrived at the Opera House was cold and damp, the product of a miserable storm. With wet clothes and shoes that plopped against the charcoal-colored rain, she stepped towards the building. It was only than a feeling of unease set in Belle’s heart. Apart from a love of opera, she had no experience in performance -- just a few pages of ideas for operas. 

What would The Paris Opera House of all places want with her?

Had she made a mistake running from home?

Struck by fear, Belle drifted towards a curb by the eastern side of the building, huddling her shoulders close to her for the first time since the rain fell, but for reasons she knew had nothing to do with the trickling water. She sat down on the curb and looked ahead at the dream that was now so close to her, but quite possibly impossible to ask for.

As Belle started shaking in fear, a door opened, glowing Belle and the curb she sat on with a hue of oak. And from out of that door stepped a girl, no older than Belle, holding a bag of what looked to be garbage as she looked towards a disposal bin not far from where Belle sat. The girl wore a rose-colored dress and upon seeing Belle, concern overtook her features. 

She came over to Belle, and offered her hand, introducing herself as Ruby. With a gentleness Belle hadn’t truly felt since she last saw her mother, Ruby asked what she was doing in the rain. Upon hearing Belle’s story, Ruby took Belle’s shoulder into her hand and invited her inside The Opera House, saying that she would take care of her.

And take care of her is exactly what Ruby did. 

Ruby was a young dancer-in-training, and her grandmother Madame Lucas, a dance instructor. And she just happened to know of an opening that needed filling for another new dancer.

It was late at night when Belle met Madame Lucas. While originally grouchy at the prospect of a spontaneous visitor, Madame Lucas quickly came around upon seeing Belle’s fragile and wet form, welcoming her into the room where the ballet dancers slept. The following morning, after Belle had the chance to explain what brought her to the Paris Opera House, Madame Lucas invited her to train alongside Ruby and the other dancers. There, she would live, train, and work under her care. Madame Lucas warned Belle that it would be hard work, but it seemed that even her attempts to appear tough on Belle seemed to only be a facade, she seemed to immediately know that Belle would be up to the challenge. 

And Belle, to this day, makes her living at The Paris Opera House, practicing and performing alongside Ruby and some of Paris’ finest dancers, a population that now includes them. Belle and the others work Madame Lucas’ regimen as if it were second nature. And through years upon years spent perfecting her craft and furthering her studies, she’s grown far more experienced in the ways of The Opera House. She now knows what it’s like to work from dawn to dusk and retire for the evening with barely the ability to speak. She now knows what it’s like to repeat the same moves dozens upon dozens of times and still see Madame Lucas unsatisfied. She now knows what it’s like to wait in anticipation of the latest reviews of the newest operas, understanding that her very way of life could be on the line should things go sour.

But Belle still loves all things having to do with the opera. In fact, she loves it even more than she did when she first heard those opening orchestral notes all those years ago. 

Now though, her dream is more focused. She’s not about to give up her work in the ballet so soon, but Belle knows her destiny is to not dance in operas, but to pen them. 

She’s the only one who thinks so either. Ruby and Madame Lucas know she’s talented, too. Whether intentional or not, Belle’s made it rather easy for them to follow her work. They hear her comment on the stories and compositions of the operas they perform with the intelligence of Paris’ most talented writers. It’s impossible for either of them to not notice Belle stay up well past curfew most every night scribbling and tossing away pages of filled sheets of music and scripts, and ones that are already pretty good at that. The way Belle hums invisible notes only to excuse herself from dinner and rush to write them down in one of her notebooks is predictable to the point of mundanity. 

And she’s only getting better.

Lately, fewer and fewer pieces of paper are being thrown away. Complete lyrics and melodies are being muttered, hummed, and sung under Belle’s breath. Story threads are finally starting to come together and make sense. One night, Madame Lucas sneaks a peek at the notebook Belle’s been frequenting the most lately as an excited Ruby -- who may or may not have told her where it was -- waits just outside for details. 

Yes, Belle’s shaping up to be quite the talented composer -- a stand out creator of her era.

However, nothing’s that simple.

No matter the year nor all the undiscovered wonders of this world that entice those who yearn for them, the brilliant ideas of women are fought every step of the way for their day in the sun, if they’re even listened to at all. Belle’s works, unfortunately, are no exception. She’s regularly brushed off by the managers every time she requests that they so much as look at or listen to one of her songs.

But fuel is only added to the fires of Belle’s difficulties as she’s forced to not only compete for the management’s attention with the operatic composers of the past who haunt her like ghosts with their established renown, but with a modern composer who haunts her present. For all she knows -- nor cares -- he knows not of her existence, but she’s more than familiar of his. His operas have been performed four times in as many years. He oversees each and every one of them, combing over details and punishing anyone he finds to be subpar and vulnerable, like a hawk waiting to snatch up his prey. Those who toil to meet his almost impossible demands consider him a manager in his own right, one to be avoided and feared beyond either of the two actual yielders of the title. But for as utterly charmless as he is to all beneath him, nothing is done to hinder his merciless mission for perfection at any cost. This is because in addition to being the Opera House’s rising star, he’s also its most generous patron.

So despite Belle’s talents with a quill, through no fault of her own, this game of patriarchal superiority and wealth leaves her outmatched to the point of making her naught but an obscurity in the grander scope of the Opera House.

After all, just how can she compete with the likes of Bertrand, the Vicomte de Friper?

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Bertrand de Friper isn’t a people person. 

His personality is often deemed as “testy” at best, his appearance is rather unconventional, and his ancestry leaves a lot to be desired.

It’s a multi-layered problem.

That’s not to say that there exist no advantages to being him. After all, what does a Vicomte have if not money, and all the power, influence, and sometimes freedom that money can grant?

An Opera House isn’t an easy place to spend one’s days when they’re not a people person. However, when one’s chosen to dedicate their life to creating operas, where else could they go?

Composing operas does something for Bertrand that nothing else finds itself able to do -- it gives him something that’s all his own. It gives him something clean of his family’s influence — apart from the money used to finance it — and a chance at a legacy that might not be as tarnished as it would be without it. 

Opera speaks to Bertrand -- its blending of performances, sets, design, and musical numbers allows room for complexity. His works aim for that same complexity, as it’s a complexity he sees in himself, and because of that, he acts as if it’s a mirror of the very person he wishes he could be. And that inspires his every flick of the quill.

He’s more hands on than most other composers. Bertrand knows that to be true. In his own defense though, most other composers are no longer around to see their work come to life. 

So why should he waste his time as nothing more than a silent creator when he can do so much more to make them as majestic as he knows they could be? He’s written and paid for these operas and damnit, he’s going to make sure his vision sees the light of day in the exact way he wants it to! And if that means he’s gonna sit in on every rehearsal and talk the managers’ ears off and nitpick the lighting whenever he finds the slightest flaw, then he’ll do it with all the gusto of a late December’s snowstorm. And he’ll fire anyone who refuses to meet his demands without the backbone to tell him why they can’t be so.

But understandably, it also does no good for Bertrand because that work is the closest thing he’s got to any manner of a real social life, and that cruelty does little to better himself as something even resembling a people person. And his family is of little help in breeding any genetic social charisma, whether through genetics or renown. His parents are rather cutthroat and it’s given them a bit of a reputation that’s followed Bertrand socially. 

Things have never been easy with his family. They’re rich and have a status of nobility, but that status has come from means that were...less than admirable. There are rumors -- some true, some not -- of deals made under the table with much of the city’s criminal underbelly, raises in savings at their bank that line up just too closely with news of a robbery at a bank not two miles down the road, and price gouging at legal firms that the patriarch of the Friper family just happens to own. But money is money. Their titles were granted more out of obligation because of their wealth than any interest in making them part of high society, and it shows to this day. They’re often shunned, but never directly -- kind of in that indirect way that the upper class tend to do. They’ll always be invited to a party, but tables had a way of never having enough space for one of them and invites for other gathering to elude their grasps.

However, Bertrand’s parents liked to show that right back in the most passive aggressive and manipulative ways.

...And maybe he did too.

Okay, he definitely did.

And that’s why, for all his success in business and art, Bertrand de Friper is not a people person.

()()()()()()()()()()()()

The Paris Opera House is often bustling, but never has it been as bustling than the week following the managers’ abruptly announced retirement. 

What kind of long-standing managers only give a week’s notice before retiring?

Well, they’ve never been the greatest communicators -- that’s what Belle’s grasped at least over her tenure here -- and so now, thanks to their rash decision, the entire Opera House drops everything and scrambles to arrange some sort of send off for them. Madame Lucas has them up early every day practicing to put on a dance from one of their favorite operas. The breaks aren’t plentiful and by the end of the day, Belle has to find the strength to eat dinner before she falls asleep. Outside of their space, Belle can hear stringing and tuning of instruments most everywhere she goes and stagehands arguing with each other and gossiping about who's taking over. It’s all quite hectic. 

Everyone’s relieved when the change is finally made and the new managers take up their posts. Those not forced by their positions to socialize with the new management take off for desperately needed breaks and those unfortunate enough to need look like they’re in need of a nap as they push themselves towards their new bosses.

The new managers seem okay. Belle’s not overly optimistic that this management team will be any more receptive to her ideas than the old ones were, but she’ll take a gamble on that in due time. For now, though, it seems like everyone and their mother who holds a higher position than a dancer, a chorus girl, or a stagehand wants to talk to them, so Belle’s content waiting. 

As a matter of fact, Belle’s more than content waiting. In all the business of the past week, she’s had to neglect her opera. But now, there’s time to work on it, and Belle’s not about to waste even a second of her newly recovered free time.

Melodies swim through her mind like guppies in a school. Things have been coming together on one of her final uncompleted pieces so nicely. She almost can’t stand how proud she is of her own work.  

In her excitement, Belle allows a few bars to escape her lips and movements leave her feet as she casually makes her way back to her room.

But all the while as she lightly sings and moves through her trip, Belle, for the briefest of moments, finds herself unaware of the fact that she’s not the only member of her impromptu performance’s audience.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Bertrand’s not sure what to make of the new managers. They don’t seem too different than the old ones, but appearances are nothing but deceiving -- though if he’s to believe the opinions of most everyone he’s ever known, he’d likely believe that to be a lie.

He tries not to believe it himself.

Not one to give himself an air of brown nosing, Bertrand watches the new managers’ introductions from afar. While in truth, he’d wanted to wait a few days to further acquaint himself with his latest opera’s opening night on the horizon and nagging at him with the force of the sunlight on a hot summer’s day, Betrand knows he doesn’t have the luxury of delaying his introductions. So as soon as the company at large is dismissed for the day, Bertrand moves past stagehands, chorus girls, and ballet dancers alike as he sets out towards his new coworkers. At the very least, he wishes to find a later time when they can talk further, but he imagines that his status as The Opera House’s biggest patron will immediately garner himself the lion’s share of their attention. 

It’s by no means a fun way to spend an afternoon, but Bertrand focuses on how after today, he’ll be able to work to further perfect his opera once more.

And that is what’s going to get him through the day.

As Bertrand passes through the groups of gossiping men and women, something catches his ear -- something that makes him stop dead in his tracks. It’s a lone voice, within yet at the same time somehow distant from the crowd of dancers. Bertrand’s hearing is strong. It has to be for him to do his job as well as he does, but right now, the talent is being used to hone in on strings of notes and lyrics.

The melody he hears from that voice...Bertrand’s utterly captivated by it.

It’s exciting. 

It’s memorable.

But most of all, it’s different from everything he’s ever heard before.

Bertrand knows how rare compliments like that are. While he’s personally been no stranger to them, he’s well aware that so few composers in this age of discoveries have but only longed for words even close to them to be directed their way. 

And Bertrand himself -- by his own admission -- is a man of few compliments to spare on a good day. 

So for him to describe naught but a scant number of bars and lines in such a way, they are bars and lines that are truly something to behold.

He needs to know where the voice that produces such notes is yesterday.

Bertrand follows his ears like a leaf follows an autumn breeze’s path until he’s able to latch onto one woman. Her back is turned, but the fact that it’s her voice making such music is unmistakable by the way her feet move in time with her bursts of singing.

There’s no hesitation in Bertrand -- not an oddity, but also not a regularity by any means -- as he taps on the woman’s shoulder. She practically jumps in her spot, surprised, before turning around to face him.

If Bertrand is to describe his initial impression of the woman who stands before him during those first few seconds before they’ve exchanged a single word, it would be ‘soft.’ She seems surprised, but a residual happiness from her music is as clear as day on her face, creating a soft sense of contentment all around her. Soft dark brown curls cascade just below her soft shoulders deprived of nearly all manner of tension. A dress of a soft pink shade -- one that matches those worn by the other women of the ballet -- covers her form, giving her something of a heavenly air about her. Even as her sky-shaded eyes turn curious and almost dark whilst she takes him in, there’s still an unexplained softness to them.

And just like that, before he’s even talked to this woman, Bertrand de Friper’s absolutely smitten with her.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()

If there’s anything that can absolutely ruin Belle’s day, it’s a reminder that Bertrand de Friper exists.

That said, seeing him appear before her, smiling of all things...is strange. 

Belle’s been lucky to have never had direct contact with him thus far in her opera career. Most of his critiques towards the ballet have been made through Madame Lucas. Belle, Ruby, and the rest of the ballet have seen many a heated debate between them over choreography, schedules, and positions. Yes, Madame Lucas may answer to him on some level, but he does not by any means control her and she’s not at all afraid to stand up for herself. Belle admires that.

Bertrand de Friper, however, is someone that she does not admire.

“Can I help you, Monsieur le Vicomte?” she asks, her tone perfectly even as to not show fear, but also to keep any sass on her end at bay. 

Scenarios play in her mind over what brings his attention to her of all people. Was her dancing off during the old manager’s send off performance? Is there an issue with her costume?

There’s an interesting glint in Bertrand’s eyes. He looks almost bewildered by her.

Belle can only hazard a guess at what that could possibly mean.

But if she’s honest, she’s beyond curious to find out.

“That music -- what you were singing and humming to -- what was that from?”

Out of all the questions Belle expects him to ask, that’s just about the last one on this Earth that she can think of.

She’s speechless. There have been times, she’ll admit, where she’s fantasized about what it would be like to be approached about her opera. Usually, they involve the managers, sometimes, it’s a singer, and rarely, it’s a director of another Opera House who then takes her to a far off exotic land where she can spend the rest of the days writing masterpieces with all the creative control she could ever ask for.

Never though have a single one of those fantasies involved Bertrand.

...Well, apart from a bit of gloating at him whilst reveling in her success, that is.

Despite preparing speeches and pitches in her mind right before she’s gone to sleep every night since she was twelve, she’s not sure how to answer now that a similar inquiry’s been thrown at her feet by the very last person she would expect it to come from.

It’s mostly a fear of a response, she reasons. Apart from the family she’s made with the Lucas’, most everyone involved in her life has mocked her dream in some way, shape, or form. She has a hard skin for it these days, but laughter still hurts and with the new managers having just started, it could be detrimental to her hopes of her work ever being heard out. 

But Bertrand has asked her a question and he’s just persnickety enough to bother her to the point of insanity if she lies or tries to dodge it.

Belle takes a sigh and speaks.

“I wrote it,” she says carefully. “It’s part of an opera I’m writing.”

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

An opera. 

This woman, a woman whose name he hasn’t even learned, is writing an opera.

It’s as if God above hasn’t already given Bertrand enough of a reason to fall for her.

She truly is a woman after his own heart.

And dammit, she’s succeeding in the endeavor. 

Bertrand feels himself smile. It’s been a while since he’s done that for a reason outside of his own success in quite some time. His face crinkles to reflect his bewilderment.

He’s simply amazed.

She’s written an opera, and by those bits of music he’s been blessed enough to hear, it’s one that may very well have no rival.

“I can’t believe it.” An innocent laughter bubbles under his throat. “Th-” 

The words he’s about to say die on his lips.

Her expression has changed from skeptical to enraged in a single heartbeat.

Crap. 

Bertrand’s never been the most straightforward man when it comes to communicating his approval of others and their works -- a rarity in its own right. 

And unfortunately, the meaning behind his words has been once more betrayed as a result of that.

He rushes to elaborate on his intentions, but he’s not offered the chance.

“Excuse me!” the woman interrupts, a fire in her speech that matches the flames that burn behind her ice-colored eyes as she all but shouts her protest. “How DARE you imply that it’s somehow unbelievable for me to write an opera?” A finger points directly in the direction of Bertrand’s nose, unwavering and menacing. 

Fear isn’t an emotion unfamiliar to Bertrand. He’s afraid of many a thing, but never would he have imagined that a pointed finger of all things would halt a mouth he’s seldom ever bereft of a voice when one has been wanted.

While Bertrand wants nothing more than to stop this rant before it can continue, the words refuse to come out.

And unfortunately for him, the woman’s words are more than happy to compensate for his silence.

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been studying opera since I was five years old! I’ve worked here for over ten years, read dozens of operatic pieces ranging from Shakespearean adaptations to “Ghiselle,” talked with most every person in this Opera House at length about their jobs -- probably to the point where I could do any of them upon request -- and personally tested out every bit of my opera too many times to count.”

“Bu-”

Bertrand’s cut off before more than even one more syllable can escape him, only stopping out of fear that his intrusion will only make things worse. 

“I am MORE than qualified to write an opera and I won’t have yet ANOTHER aristocratic man whose likely worked HALF as hard as me for double the accolades telling me that I can’t out of some chauvinistic mindset! So instead of believing those ideals of the past, start believing that I’ll be the one selling out this theatre instead of you soon enough. I promise you, I won’t be the only person happy to see you overthrown.”

The woman then turns away and starts walking in the opposite direction for him.

Bertrand follows her, keeping at somewhat of a distance to prevent bringing her fury to a head once more.

“Please, wait!” he half cries, though only to prevent a scene. “I didn’t mean it that way. I-I’m sorry! Your work’s good -- better than good, great!”

She doesn’t seem to spare him a thought as she retreats back to the ballet’s quarters. Bertrand stops as she goes beyond where he could respectfully follow. 

In an Opera House full of people -- even those that don’t particularly like him -- never has Bertrand felt so alone.

But right before she escapes his vision, Bertrand sees her hesitate. She almost looks like she’s about to turn back, like she’s accepted his apology and corrections as truth, but she seems to decide against it, walking through and closing the door closest to her.

Bertrand’s about to throw respect to the wind and go after her when suddenly, he hears a scream. It’s blood curdling and sounds like it’s coming from the stage.

Though somewhat reluctant due to the woman now running through his thoughts like a wolf in a forest, Bertrand does go to the stage to investigate. A girl who Bertrand can tell by her costume is part of the chorus lays on the floor. Her foot is crushed underneath and mangled by a sandbag that’s at least twenty-five pounds in weight. According to her cries as two stagehands attempt to remove the obtrusive menace, she heard a snap upon the sandbag’s contact with her foot. The cries are given evidence by an unnatural appearance her ankle presents as it once more meets the lights of the stage. Whispers emerge with the ankle, and there’s an all-to present fear amongst those who’ve responded to her wails that she may never walk wholly again.

A rope suddenly falls from atop the rafters, clearly one that once held up the sandbag. Most present on the stage not helping the chorus girl look up to the apparent scene of the crime for some semblance of a clue as to what happened. There’s no one above there, but light specks of dust fall like snow.

While the ‘why’ of the matter remains unsolved, the ‘who’ is as clear as day, for this is not a crime that’s new to The Paris Opera House.

Over the past few months, things like this have had a tendency to occur. Sandbags untouched for years as evidenced by the dust they’ve accumulated have been falling around and now on unsuspecting workers. Costumes have been mangled with scissors practically starving for fabric. Grand set pieces have been made hazards by artificially faulty support beams.

And just as with any dangerous oddity, they find themselves the subject of rumors, and The Paris Opera House has taken all of these incidents and made a demon of their own. 

This latest of crimes is the work of the culprit that those in The Paris Opera House have dubbed as “The Phantom of the Opera.”

[theincompetentgenius]

Hi there! I love reading your matchups so I’m finally here to request one for me! Well, I’ll even be a bit greedy and request three (IkeSen, IkeRev and MLQC) if you don’t mind 😁

Let’s start!

I’m a 5’3 (162 cm) girl with fair skin, almond-shaped brown eyes and short warm sandy blond hair (you know, a bit like in the 1920’s). I wear glasses but I prefer to have contact lenses. I like reading since I’m a child and I’m particularly interested in History. I also like geography, politics, traveling and learning new languages. I’m sometimes (often) lazy though. I’m not really at ease with my body, even though I’ve lost pounds those last years and that I’m pretty normal now, I still find myself too fat, (yeah, the classical girl complex…). Approximately the 1950’s body type if you want to have an idea. About my personality, my MBTI type is INTJ. I’m pessimistic, introvert and really, really honest. I often hurt people without wanting it because of this straightforwardness. I’m stubborn too and I have a Manichean view about pretty much everything so my opinions are often judged as extreme. Really care about nature (the typical ecologist). People usually find me cold at first but if they get to know me better and become my friends, I’m really loyal and here to help them. Some random facts maybe? I’m vegetarian, I like spicy food, my Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw and I’m quite the tsundere type. I like winter when there is snow and I prefer night over the day (I like watching the starry sky, I could do this for hours!) and my zodiac sign is Scorpio, Leo rising (I’m born the same day as Jonah Clemence!). One last thing: I have one little brother and one little sister (they are twins and are four years younger than me) and I would give the world to them.

That was pretty long, I’m sorry, but I wanted to give you as much information as possible. I can’t wait to see what you’ll come up with! Thank you so much for taking my request darling, your writing is as amazing as your mood boards!💙

Haha! It’s ok if you’re a bit greedy– I mean, aren’t we all when it comes to matchups? And I thank you SO MUCH for all the info you put because it honestly made my life 10x easier when trying to match you with the different suitors. In fact, some I was able to pick immediately because of all the info you gave.

But anywho, let’s get on with the matchup!

MLQC

I’d pair you with………. Victor!

So I started with MLQC because I immediately knew who I was pairing you with. Obviously, I had to glance over your description again to figure out who else you’d work with, but it was really hard since your description literally screams “Victor” to me. Not that you’re as uptight as he is, but the two of you have a lot in common, but enough differences to allow for an amazing and fun relationship!

There are two ways this could play out: either you guys will butt heads or get along very well on a professional level. I’m betting on the latter scenario simply because you are intelligent, resourceful, and determined: qualities that Victor admires in others. He will notice you because of your work ethic and commend you for your admirable efforts. Additionally, he knows that he can count on you because you are the most loyal employee he has. However, you two might get into squabbles as both of you can be very stubborn, which will need lots of time and patience to smooth over. Nevertheless, Victor will see you as a valuable asset to his team.

In those moments of laziness, Victor would be the perfect motivator. His harsher words would serve as a wake-up and a prompt reminder of why you should be working towards your goals instead of letting all your work pile up (before it becomes unmanageable).

Victor admires your ability to be honest around him. Although the man wants to be perfect, he isn’t– and not many people tell him that. However, you’ve reached a level of familiarity with him where you can voice your honest opinions about him (without fearing for your job). He’s not used to hearing the cold truth because most people sugar-coat it instead (because they want to keep their jobs or be in good standing with the CEO).

But the two of you would be the biggest power couple ever. Whenever someone says something stupid, you both use sarcasm and sass to wipe them out. You start with a sarcastic comment while Victor follows it up with a classic sassy remark. The two of you ultimately receive a reputation for being the most savage people in the office, so everyone tries their best to please you.

Also, Victor would have no problem making spicy food! Although he doesn’t have lots of time to cook, when something special (such as an anniversary) arises, he’ll always make a creative spicy dish. Imagine eating top-notch, gourmet spicy food FOR FREE. You’re the real winner here smh

Another Possibility: Kiro

Ikemen Sengoku

I’d pair you with…… Shingen Takeda!

At first, I thought about Sasuke because the two of you seem to compliment each other pretty well.  I mean, he’s more relaxed while you’re more uptight. He has no problem with your honesty and very much enjoys it. In fact, I kept switching between Sasuke and Shingen, but I ultimately settled for Shingen (for reasons I’ll explain below).

Your description literally radiates “cold boss bitch” energy, which we stan. However, this can easily cause clashes with some of the warlords with bigger personalities (Nobunaga, Kenshin, Ieyasu, etc), which you would not be willing to compromise. But fear not, because Shingen does not fall into this category of unnecessary bravado. His issues lie elsewhere……

Shingen’s initial “flirty hunk” attitude can be a real turn off for you. At first, it can be charming (almost endearing), but the shtick gets old REAL fast. You become irritated by his constant flirting and at one point, let him know exactly what you think. The moment is quite satisfying because you finally tell this idiot to shut up and the stunned look on his face is totally worth it.

He’ll definitely leave you alone for a while. However, Shingen will have to keep tabs on you since you’re Azuchi’s chatelaine– the easiest link to Nobunaga. However, you’re just as smart and play his game with him. As he observes you, you observe him back to figure what he wants. But at one point, it gets on your nerves. You can’t walk around without feeling as if you’re being watched. You confront him yourself, beginning Round 2 of blasting Shingen. This time, you threaten to expose him by telling everything you’ve learned to Nobunaga.

The more extreme confrontation leaves Shingen speechless. Clearly, you’re a lot smarter than he expected as you saw through him very quickly. He’ll have no other choice but to take you to the Kasugayama Palace, where you become his captive. However, his wonderful treatment towards you leaves you rather confused.

During this time, Shingen will heavily appreciate your honesty. He’s always putting up this facade around others that it is refreshing to see your honesty for a change. Although he doesn’t realize it, his facade begins to fall as he grows more comfortable around you. It doesn’t take him long before he realizes that you’re nothing like Nobunaga (despite your strong personality).

In fact, Shingen loves your strong personality. Although he is dedicated to his goals, the warlord is also known to be flexible. He has no problem accommodating your needs and your extreme opinions don’t bother him at all. If anything, he finds it fascinating that someone can be so different from him that he’ll want to learn more.

In the end, you learn to love him for his loyalty to his people. Whether or not you agree with Nobunaga’s actions about Kai, you admire Shingen’s dedication towards his people. It reminds you of your love for your siblings, which helps you make sense of his actions and thoughts. The man who was once an irritable playboy has become your lifelong partner.

Other Possibility: Sasuke Sarutobi

Ikemen Revolution

I’d pair you with…………………….. Zero!

Aren’t you lucky, you got paired with an absolute gem! Especially with his route out, Zero’s been the talk of the tumblr community these days (and with good reason). However, I originally had a strong urge to match you with Lancelot. The two of you would be the ultimate power couple that would help each other see through different perspectives and develop as individuals. However, you would probably clash more with Lancelot, which is why I ended up going with Zero.

Zero is one of the first people to be friendly towards you when you end up at the Red Army. Although he’s shy and not the most talkative person out there, you end up spending time with him (since everyone else in nearly insufferable). He truly appreciates the fact that you’re not some weirdo and have normal human behaviors (despite your quirks). It might be a little awkward at first, but the two of you warm up to each other fairly quickly.

Just like the other suitors I chose for you, one of the biggest things that draw Zero towards you is your loyalty. Zero himself is very big on loyalty, so its one of the key things that he looks for within a person. As he watches you defend your thoughts with a strong conviction, Zero admires you more and more

This man absolutely LIVES for the moments that you put Edgar in his place. It’s quite tempting to throw a jab at the Jack of Hearts and while Zero worries when you try it, his heart also swells with pride. Only his girl can stand up to Edgar, which only increases his admiration for you (especially when Edgar and Zero duel and you tell Zero to kick Edgar’s ass).

The thing about Zero is that you could talk about anything and he’ll have the sweetest smile on his face. The fact that he gets to spend so much time with you is the biggest blessing and gift that he could have ever asked for. He’s not even sure what he did to deserve someone like you, but for once, luck seems to be on his side. Even if he doesn’t understand what’s being said, he’ll try his best to comprehend the material because he loves you.

Another Possibility: Lancelot Kingsley

[mysterioushogwartsrequests]

You have to do one in which Mc declares to Carlie missing only two weeks for the Yule Ball, but this rejects it, saying that he only sees her as a friend. Being so, Mc gets bad but tries to maintain the posture. In those two weeks before Ball I want anguish and jealousy (Charlie's jealousy). Let the Leguarden Leviosa boy participate, being one of the boys to invite Mc to the Ball. The rest I leave you imagine in a happy ending with Charlie or not.

I hope this is okay!

I tried to make it not happy or cheesy, but I just couldn’t I love writing Happy Charlie way too much 

Charlie Weasley was considered a very smart member of Gryffindor House. As a member of multiple organizations, he always made sure to keep up with his studies and his Quidditch pratices. However, when it came to romantic relationships, he had the tendency to mistake affection for a very good friendship, frequently oblivious of his own feelings.

He also failed to realized this when his asked him to one of the most prestigious events in Hogwarts history. “Will you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Yule Ball?” asked (Y/N) finally, after many weeks of debating and chickening out. Her crush on Charlie had grown stronger, with his playful touches and their curse-breaking adventures, it was no surprise she had fallen this hard for him.Tulip Karasu, Penny Haywood, and Rowan Khanna had reassured (Y/N) (L/N) that Charlie wouldn’t say no. 

Which, in turn, was not the best course of action. Charlie Weasley stared at (Y/N) rather curiously, it was his impression that (Y/N) had a crush on his older brother, Bill Weasley. So it was safe to say that her invitation caught him by surprise. Nonetheless, he didn’t recognize his own feelings towards her, “I’m sorry,” Charlie uttered, “I only see you as a friend” He replied with a small smile, hoping not to offend her or upset her.

(Y/N) gave a subtle nod, attempting the hide her disappointment, “No. it’s fine!” She exclaimed, “It didn’t have to be romantic or anything, but if you don’t want to go with me that’s fine” She rambled, packing up her things, “I better get going” She muttered as she rushed out of The Great Hall. Penny, Tulip, Tonks, and Rowan were waiting by the double doors, wanting to hear their friend’s news. But when (Y/N) passed by with tears streaming down her face, the girls automatically switched into protective mode. “Oh no, (Y/N)” Penny muttered, following after her and placing her hand on her shoulder as they walked. “What did he say?” asked Tonks, the tips of her hair turning red from her rising anger, “I’ll beat him up for you, he won’t even see it coming!”

Beside Tonks, Tulip Karasu nodded in agreement, “Yes! He hurt you so we have to make him pay!” she exclaimed as they walked to the (H/H) common room. 

“It’s okay” sniffled (Y/N) taking the handkerchief Rowan had offered her, “I’ll be fine, it’s just that I knew he would say no” (Y/N) cried, feeling embarrassed for asking in the first place. “We’re staying with you, I hope you know that” stated Penny as they reached the common room, “I don’t care if we’re not supposed to be in each other’s common rooms, I’m not leaving you alone!” (Y/N) smiled, feeling grateful for her friends and uttering the password in front of the common room entrance, “Thank you all” she replied as the group of girls snuck inside.“I’ll be fine, I promise” (Y/N) stated weakly, walking towards her dormitory. 

                                                        ϟ ϟ ϟ“(L/N) is absent again?” Snape drawled as he crossed the classroom, facing Rowan Khanna who gave a shy smile. “She’s ill. Throwing up all over the dormitory,” explained Rowan confidently, “Madame Pomfrey said she needed rest” she smiled, handing Snape the forged infirmary note, courtesy of Tulip. “Very well” He answered, carefully eyeing the note before stuffing it in his robe pocket as he returned to address the class. Charlie Weasley turned to look at the empty seat beside Rowan. It was extremely unlike (Y/N) to miss this many classes and if she truly was throwing up everywhere, wouldn’t she be in the infirmary rather than her bedroom? Feeling curious, Charlie shifted towards the Gryffindor boy in front of him, “Ben” he whispered, noticing Ben Copper’s slight twitch as he forced his eyes towards the blackboard.

“Yes?” replied Ben nervously, hoping Snape wouldn’t notice their conversation“Is (Y/N) okay?” asked Charlie, taking note of Ben’s nervous gulp and unmistakable quiver. “Yeah! She’s fine” He laughed, “She’s just, uh- sick, just an illness” replied Ben with a nod, obviously attempting to keep a secret. But before Charlie could question him further, the Potions’ book in front of him slammed open, immediately catching their attention. “Mr. Copper and Mr. Weasley,” Snape called towards their shared desk, “If your conversation is more interesting than my lecture, why don’t the two of you share it with the rest of us,” Snape snapped, glaring towards the two Gryffindors from the front of the classroom.“Sorry, Professor” Ben squeaked while Charlie rolled his eyes, uttering a meaningless apology. “Twenty points from Gryffindor” stated Snape, turning back to his cauldron, “Let’s not lose any more points for your house, Mr. Weasley”                                                          ϟ ϟ ϟ“What an absolute bastard!” yelled Charlie, angrily shoving food onto his plate “Let’s not lose any more points, Mr. Weasley!” He mocked monotonously, pushing his food around with his fork. His best friend, Andre Ewgu, could only laugh as he enjoyed his sandwich, “That’s just Snape, Charlie” He replied, “Just be careful next time” said Andre with a shrug as Charlie sighed in exasperation. On the other side of the hall, Rowan, Penny, Tonks, and Tulip were walking down in a seemingly organized formation. “I don’t understand why we’re doing this!” complained Tonks as Penny shushed her. “(Y/N) doesn’t want to see Charlie, but she has to eat” Penny explained, glancing back at their puffy-eyed friend who hid in the center of their formation. “She also has to get out of her dormitory,” added Rowan, “it’s not healthy for her to stay cooped up all day” The five of them sat down at the table farthest from where Charlie and his friends sat, ensuring (Y/N) remained out of his field of vision.(Y/N) smiled softly at her friends, enjoying their determination to keep her from any more embarrassment, “I could’ve eaten in my room, you four” (Y/N) whispered, picking up a sandwich. Tulip smiled as she grabbed some pudding, “Like Rowan said!” She exclaimed, “Fresh air is good for you, maybe we can go feed the Giant Squid for some extra air” Tonks smiled, slapping Tulip on the back, “That’s a great idea!” She responded and the five girls began to laugh. (Y/N) always enjoyed time with her friends, it took her mind off the whole Yule Ball scenario, but it didn’t take it out of everyone else’s minds. Hogwarts was still full of Yule Ball chatter, what they were going to wear, where they were going to find Dress Robes, and more importantly, who was taking who. “Penny and I are going together,” Tonks grinned, “Thought it’d be easier than some random guy we don’t even know ask us,” Tonks said as she ate her lunch. “It’s going to be a blast” Penny smiled at her friend, happy to be going with someone who already knew her well. “I’m going on my own” Tulip stated proudly, “There isn’t anyone who can handle me and besides, I’d rather spend it with you lot” Rowan sighed, leaning her head against her palm, “I want to ask Bill, but he’d definitely say no” Rowan muttered and (Y/N) gave an apologetic smile. “I don’t think I’m going,” She replied, “but I hope you four have fun,” She said and the four girls looked at (Y/N) with disbelief“You are most definitely going!” Penny exclaimed, “Charlie is a dimwit for not accepting your offer!” “Yeah!” Tulip chimed in, “I’ll go with you if you definitely need a date, I can’t let you stay in your dormitory all day!” Rowan nodded, “If you’re not going, I’m not either” “Me neither,” Tonks replied, “We all go or we all stay, simple as that” The girls began to laugh again, they had each other’s backs and that was for certain. Barnaby Lee walked up to Charlie and Andre, sighing as he sat down, “I’m going to do it” He said and Andre looked at him with surprise “When? Right now? Is she even in here?” Andre questioned and Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Penny and the rest of them are over there so she must be” Barnaby replied, glancing at the giggling girls“Are you talking about (Y/N)?” Charlie asked, “I thought she was ill” Charlie muttered, setting his fork down. Barnaby gave a shrug and pushed himself off the table, “I don’t know why you would think that, but she’s about to be my date for the Yule Ball,” Barnaby grinned, “Wish me luck” Andre gave a nod and watched as Barnaby made his way towards the table. “(Y/N)” Barnaby called softly, “I wanted to ask you something” He muttered, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “He wants to go to the Yule Ball with (Y/N)?” Charlie asked as Andre shushed him. “Yeah?” (Y/N) smiled as she looked up at her friend. “Would you go to the ball with me?” Barnaby asked nervously and her smile instantly fell. “Oh,” She muttered, “Barnaby, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be attending” She replied solemnly as (Y/N)’s friends attempted to signal him so he would change the topic. Tulip stood up, holding Barnaby by the arm, “Sorry, you big lug, the lady isn’t attending” Tulip smiled“I understand,” Barnaby smiled, “See you all later then,” He said as Tulip pulled him back to the Ravenclaw table where Andre and Charlie were. “She’s upset,” Tulip whispered as the slowly made their way, “Charlie turned her down and she won’t stop crying about it, don’t tell anyone though just say she’s ill” Barnaby nodded, “I didn’t know” He muttered as they finally reached the table. Barnaby sat down and Tulip greeted Andre before giving Charlie the “I’ve got my eyes on you” hand motion. Charlie threw his hands up in the air, “What did I do?” He asked, but Tulip had already returned to her friends. With a groan, Charlie picked up his bag and headed towards the Clocktower Courtyard. “What happened?” Andre asked as he watched the five girls exit the Hall, comforting a solemn (Y/N). 

”I want to go,” (Y/N) cried, “But I don’t want to have to face him there and I know he’ll be there with someone prettier or more compatible and I don’t know if I’m up for it”

The girls rushed their crying friend down the corridor. Tulip grabbed extra snacks to serve as comfort food as Tonks scared away any other boys who attempted to ask her to the Ball.

”Bugger off!” Tonks yelled at a third-year Ravenclaw, “We’re busy right now!”

Penny and Rowan rubbed (Y/N)’s back as they exited the hall and traveled to the Astronomy Tower, “It’s okay,” Penny muttered, “We’ll make sure you won’t have to see him if you go, we’ll be a group and we’ll never leave each other’s sides”

Rowan nodded, “Yes! We’ve got your back”

                                                        ϟ ϟ ϟ

“Don’t tell anyone,” Barnaby muttered, “She asked Charlie to the Ball and he turned her down” Barnaby whispered and Andre almost choked on his meal.“You’re joking?” He asked, “Charlie’s obsessed with her!” Andre exclaimed, “He’s always talking about her, it doesn’t make sense” Barnaby gave a shrug and Andre attempted to decipher the situation, “We’re going to have to do some damage control, Lee” Andre stated, devising a plan to get Charlie to admit his feelings.   

                                                       ϟ ϟ ϟ“Do you think she said yes?” Charlie asked his older brother as he skipped rocks along The Black Lake. Bill gave a shrug as he rested against the grass, his arms crossed behind his head, “She could’ve” He replied, glancing at Charlie who had now skipped a rock significantly harder. “That’s...” he muttered, searching for another rock “good” He finished, skipping yet another one. 

Bill raised an eyebrow and propped himself up on his elbows, “Charles Septimus Weasley,” He called teasingly, “Are you jealous?” He asked and Charlie turned suddenly. “No!” He exclaimed, “If she wants to go with Lee, who she doesn’t even know that well, that’s fine” He rambled, “I’m sure he’ll know how to greet her!” He trailed off, “Bring her flowers and tell her she looks positively stunning…” he muttered, “Like a true friend would do” He finished, skipping another rock into the lake before sitting on the grass. Bill rolled his eyes, placing his hand on his brother’s shoulder, “Yes, Charles” He joked, “Like a true friend” He couldn’t believe his younger brother could be so oblivious to his own feelings. 

                                                       ϟ ϟ ϟ“Do you want to come to the Yule Ball with me?” A blonde-haired Gryffindor boy asked shyly, “I know we don’t know each other that well, but I sit behind you in Charms Class and I think you’re brilliant” He added (Y/N) gave a soft smile, but responded the same way, “I’m sorry, but I’m not going” She replied and the boy nodded before uttering a small thank you. (Y/N) sighed, laying back against the stone of the Clocktower Courtyard Fountain, waiting for her friends to meet her. She had been actively avoiding Charlie Weasley for the past week and as the Yule Ball came closer more and more potential suitors came her way. 

Every day, she had to turn another suitor down, explaining that she wasn’t attending, but in reality, she really did want to go, just not with any of them. She couldn’t help but feel guilty for turning them away, she knew she would still have fun with them, but the idea of seeing Charlie there with another date turned her away from the event all together. 

There was just something special about Charlie. Maybe it was his gorgeous eyes or the way he could talk about dragons for hours. Or maybe how he looked at her when they were studying as if she was the only girl in the world. 

(Y/N) groaned, questioning why she mistook his feelings of friendship for actual romantic ones.“Hey,” Bill Weasley called as he walked up to her. 

Sitting up, she let out an aggravated sigh, “Listen, if you’re going to ask me to the ball, I’m sorry, but I’m not going” She uttered in frustration, but it only made Bill laugh. “I didn’t come here to ask,” He stated, sitting down beside her, “I came down to talk to you” He smiled, “about Charlie” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, “What is there to talk about? I shouldn’t have even asked” She stated, still haunted by his response, “It was embarrassing” Bill sighed, “My brother may be smart, but he’s completely dimwitted when it comes to his own feelings” Bill stated, “He’s absolutely mad about you, but he fails to realize that”(Y/N) couldn’t believe what she was hearing, “He fancies me?” She asked quietly, holding on to the small bit of hope she had, “How can you be sure?” Bill smirked at her as he leaned back on the pillar, “I don’t think someone who gets jealous of every boy that asks you to the ball is not someone who isn’t into you” Bill grinned, “Besides, he keeps raving about how ‘positively stunning’ you’re going to look” He stated before pausing and giving (Y/N) a confident look, “And, I am his older brother so I think you can trust my judgement.”A soft blush and a large smile spread across her face, “Merlin’s beard” She muttered, “He really does fancy me!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms around Bill, “Thank you so much! You’re brilliant, Bill!” Inside the Ravenclaw boys’ dormitories, Andre was showcasing his array of dress robes to Barnaby and Charlie. Barnaby was paying close attention, naming some details he didn’t quite enjoy while Andre spewed his rebuttal on why Barnaby’s opinion was highly incorrect. “Who do you think (Y/N)’s going to the Ball with?” Charlie asked, tapping his finger against his cheek. Andre and Barnaby looked at each other with knowing glances, “She’s not going” Barnaby stated, crossing his arms behind his head, “Said something about having too much homework.”Andre nodded in agreement, “Yup, that’s what Rowan told me” he added, hanging up one of his dress robes. Charlie looked up in shock, “She’s not going?!” He asked, “That’s awful... She’s like an Antipodean Opaleye” Charlie muttered dreamily, his eyes focuses on the starry ceiling of the dormitories. “An Anti-what now?” Barnaby asked, scratching his head. “It’s a dragon,” Charlie said, “One of the most beautiful, they have glittering multicolored eyes,” Charlie explained with a lovestruck smile, “(Y/N)’s eyes aren’t multicolor, but the way they light up when she’s excited about something is wonderful” Andre couldn’t believe his friend was so damn blind, he needed to get his plan into motion, “Since you want her to go that badly,” Andre stated, looking through his dress robes, “You wouldn’t mind if I convinced her to go as my date?” He added playfully.Charlie glared at his friend, his eyebrows furrowed tightly as he exclaimed, “You can’t!” Catching himself, he shook his head, “I mean,” Charlie stuttered, “If you want to ask her, that’s fine, I don’t care” He added in nonchalantly, making Barnaby lose the little sense of restraint he had left.“In that case!” Barnaby announced happily, “I lied, she is coming with me to the ball!” He stated proudly making Charlie shoot out of his seat in disbelief. 

“Really?!” He yelled, “That’s fantastic! It’s not like I wanted to go with her anyways and see her in her beautiful gown!” He crossed his arms, “Nope! Not one bit” Looking at the ground, Charlie bit his lip trying to rack his brain as to why he had snapped at his two best mates.

It was as if realization hit him like a rogue bludger.

“Sweet baby Merlin” Charlie muttered, “I think I fancy (Y/N)” He admitted, holding his hair back as he gathered his thoughts.“It’s about damn time!” Andre yelled, slapping his hand against Charlie’s back, “You’re truly daft, Charles!” He exclaimed, “She’s been avoiding you because you turned her down and it took you until now to realize you’re obviously mad about her!” “Merlin! I did turn her down,” exclaimed Charlie in pure anguish, “What am I going to do? I already embarrassed her enough, I’m a bloody idiot!” He groaned, falling back on the bed, his hands covering his face. “Luckily, Barnaby and I have been doing damage control” Andre stated, finally picking out the perfect robes for his friend, “This is for you.” He announced, holding out the neatly pressed robes, “Bill showed me what your mum sent and as your best friend, I refuse to let you wear such an atrocious outfit to The Yule Ball” Charlie grabbed the blue dress robes Andre held out to him and smiled, “Thank you” he said, sprinting out of the dormitory to find (Y/N). 

                                                        ϟ ϟ ϟ

“She doesn’t want to see you!” declared Tonks as Charlie attempted to enter the (H/H) common room, but was halted by Tulip and Tonks glaring up at him. “You broke her heart!” yelled Tulip, jabbing her finger towards Charlie’s chest “You can’t talk to her because you’ll only make her sad!” The frown on Charlie’s face deepened as he listened to the girls talk, “Please, I made a mistake, just let me talk to her” He pleaded, “I want to talk to her about the ball and how I feel” “How you feel?” questioned Tonks, “You’ve made it quite clear how you feel” She stated, “Do you know how much she cried?” “I don’t,” uttered Charlie before taking a deep breath, “And I feel terrible about that, but that is why I need to fix this” He stated, his gaze firm towards his two friends, “Please,” He implored, “let me see her”. Tulip and Tonks exchanged worried glances before silently nodding their heads, “Alright” replied Tulip, “But if you hurt her again, I swear I’ll-” “I won’t,” Charlie cut her off, “I promise” He smiled as the two girls moved from the passageway, giving him room to climb into the common room. There was no ignoring the deafening thump of his heart against his ribcage or how increasingly sweaty his palms became as he strode towards the girls’ dormitory. Disregarding the questioning stares of the younger students, Charlie wiped his palms against the velvet blue fabric of his dress robes as he gripped the makeshift bouquet of flowers he had hastily prepared. Having all these eyes on him exponentially increased his nerves, but he had already messed up once and he was not about to repeat the same mistake. 

“(Y/N)!” called Charlie, halting in front of the dormitory stairs, unable to reach her room due to the jinxes placed on the stairwell, “I need to talk to you! It’s important” He pleaded but was only met with uncomfortable silence. It wasn’t until the dormitory flew open that he heard a voice, but it was not (Y/N)’s

“She doesn’t want to see you right now.” stated Rowan sternly, her arms crossed over her chest, “But you can plead your case from down there.”

(Y/N) quietly made her way towards her door, standing against the wall so Charlie could not see her. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Charlie took a deep breath before looking back up the stairs, “I’m sorry,” He admitted, “I was a complete idiot when I turned you down,” explained Charlie, gripping the bouquet stems tighter, “I didn’t realize how I truly felt about you, but I do now.”

Despite putting up a stern front for the sake of her best friend, Rowan could not help but soften up at Charlie’s heartfelt declaration. Turning her head towards the side, she gave a subtle smile to (Y/N) who bore a cheshire grin herself.

“I’m mad about you, (Y/N) (L/N)” admitted Charlie, “I didn’t realize that before, but I do now and I’m not afraid to say it” He exclaimed and at that moment (Y/N) materialized at the doorway, easing Charlie’s nerves as he continued. 

Grinning up at the stairs, Charlie held up the assortment of flowers towards her, “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the Yule Ball this Friday evening?” He asked and (Y/N) raced down the stairs, wrapping her arms around him.

“Of course, Charlie” She muttered against his neck, “Of course” 

Charlie sighed happily, tightly wrapping his arms around her waist, “I’m sorry it took me this long to realize” He whispered, holding her head against his chest, “I’m a bloody idiot for hurting you, I just-, I’m truly sorry”

(Y/N) smiled up at him, “It’s fine” She smiled, “I forgive you”

After the week of sorrow, (Y/N) finally joined her friends for Yule Ball preparations, happy everything worked out in the end.

[evenstevensranked]

#6: Season 1, Episode 18 - “Movie Madness”

Louis takes a stab at directing a short film in hopes of winning the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival and it is absolutely incredible. Not the film, the film is god awful. But Louis’ blatant, unfiltered narcissism -- THAT is something to behold. The subplot follows yet another one of Ren’s attempts to approach Bobby Deaver for the first time but somehow results in some glorious miscommunication between her and recurring character Ivan.

This one opens in history class with a teacher named Todd Zanders who only appears in this one episode. I kinda love this guy and wish we saw more of him. He’s a total hippie and is making the class take “deep, cleansing breaths -- in with the good, out with the bad” when Louis comes running in late and disrupts the peace. Louis is clearly excited about something so Todd pulls the old “why don’t you share with the rest of the class” card, probably hoping that will intimidate Louis and shut him up, but this is Louis Stevens we’re talking about here. Todd technically gave him the floor, so ya know Louis is gonna run with it. He gets up on his chair and announces to everyone that he’s going to be entering his currently non-existent film in the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival. 

“I, Louis Stevens, will be entering my film in the Sacramento Young Peoples Film Festival. And after I win first place in the festival and get my million dollar movie deal... I will, sadly, be moving to Beverly Hills to a sprawling ranch home.” -- The narcissism is already in full swing. I love it. I also love that Louis says he’ll be moving to a ranch home because he already stated in Episode 15 that he’s “always liked ranch style!” houses. Good continuity. 

Louis goes on to say he’ll be needing a limo driver, a gardener and even suggests that Todd should be his personal chef. Oh my god. He tells Tawny, Twitty, and Tom to meet him at his house after school to discuss the logistics of the project and its million-dollar plot.

It cuts to the subplot where we meet both Ruby and Bobby for the first time! Ruby is reporting to Ren with her latest gossip column and the two of them end up checking out Bobby Deaver from across the hall. I just gotta include a gif of Bobby’s first appearance because the level of intentional dramatic cheese is hilarious. 

Ren is gushing over Bobby from afar saying things like “He’s so cute. Look at his hair... It’s perfect. Look at his walk! He’s so cool!” and for whatever reason, everyone’s favorite lackey Ivan is within earshot and assumes Ren is crushing on him. He’s flying solo in this episode and I guess this shows us why he’s a hanger-on every other time we see him. Ivan on his own is pretty sad and shy. 

Ivan under the impression that Ren’s compliments are directed at him. 

Ruby inspires Ren to talk to Bobby but warns Ren that she should write down everything she wants to say to him beforehand to ensure their first conversation will be absolutely perfect. We get a bit later on where Ren is in her room trying to come up with an ideal icebreaker and oh my freaking god. This has got to be one of my favorite Ren scenes in the entire series. Good LORD! She imagines how each scenario could play out in her head and I die laughing every time. Two brilliant ideas she comes up with are to walk right up to Bobby and say “Hey, Bobby. Nice belt!” or my personal favorite: “Hey, Bobby! Oh, I wouldn’t try that Salisbury steak if I were you!” The writing on this show is so incredibly random sometimes that it only ever results in greatness. Also “Nice belt!” is so disturbing. She says it in the most suggestive way too. Why are you staring at.. that... region, Ren?! Each ridiculous scenario ends with Bobby making the most irritated and confused face and completely ignoring her... because, I mean... would you know what to say to someone who walks up to you, creepily smiles, and tells you to avoid eating Salisbury steak with no further explanation? 

I just realized that this show often depicts girls as being the first ones to make a move or initiate a relationship, which is kinda cool since we’re pretty much conditioned to sit around and wait. 

After everything, Ren ultimately decides that marching up to him and saying “Hi, Bobby! I have a big crush on you and I just wanted to let you know how I feel!” is the best way to go. 

It cuts to Louis’ room where he’s having that meeting with Tawny, Twitty, and Tom. Once again, we see Louis determined to find his "thing." That’s pretty much what the overall theme of the show originally set out to be. In addition to our lovely bickering siblings, of course. Here, he’s super optimistic that he’s finally found his “thing” in writing/directing. Sweetie!!! Your thing is comedy!! We all know this already!!!! But, still. I really enjoy the idea of Louis constantly searching for something to excel at. He explains to them that “Everyone has their thing. Twitty has his music! You’ve got your poetry! Tom’s got..... his... parents!” HAHA. Poor Tom. 

Louis goes on to brief the gang on the plot of the movie which he describes as “the classic love story about an alien (Tawny) and a cowboy (Twitty).” An instant classic, honestly. Louis truly believes that they’ll “walk in as nobodies, and walk out as stars” after appearing in his movie. Well, everyone except Tom -- who he relegates to the role of his assistant. 

”I see stars.” 

It cuts straight to filming and boy do things really get going now. Louis has transformed part of the living room into a tinfoil explosion, which I’m assuming is supposed to be the inside of a spaceship. (see cover photo.) This episode is FULL of amazing dialogue and quotes from Louis. It’s insane! So, as usual, it’s going to be very difficult for me to not quote every single one. Twitty decided that his cowboy should have giant mutton chop sideburns and speak with an English accent without consulting Louis, Louis gets insulted because “that’s not in the script” -- which Twitty and Tawny haven’t even been given yet. Once they get their scripts, however, they’re confused as to why it’s only one page. Louis, being the informed and gifted director he thinks he is, condescendingly explains “We’re only shooting scene 27 today. We shoot out of order. It’s called filmmaking.” Except everyone knows that films shoot out of order due to the availability and scheduling of the sets/locations and actors, etc. Louis Stevens has only two actors at his indefinite disposal and seemingly one set location. He’s literally shooting out of order for no reason and is completely oblivious. It’s great. 

Louis can’t be bothered with rehearsals, blocking, or any other necessary steps towards making a movie and jumps straight to filming. Tawny is unsure of what he wants her to do because “all that script said was ‘the spaceship lands and the alien looks around.’” Louis has no time for her valid confusion and snaps “THAT’S RIGHT. YOU’RE CONFUSED AND FRUSTRATED. DID YA READ IT?!?!” I love this so much. Louis starts recording and Tawny vents out of character/as herself: “This is ridiculous. I don’t know where I am! I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!” and Louis praises her ‘performance.’ HAHAHAHAHAHA. 

“GENIUS! THAT IS GENIUS! RIGHT ON THE MONEY, BABE! RIGHT ON THE MONEY!”

I’m not even sure how to review the next part of the episode because the performances truly speak for themselves and I gotta stop myself from typing out a transcript of the whole thing, lol. Basically, Louis goes into full meltdown mode. Freaking out over Tawny saying “Hi, Cowboy” instead of “Hello,” Twitty’s unauthorized addition of a gold tooth for his cowboy, and Ren interrupting a scene. “PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY. THIS IS A MOVIE. IT’S MY MOVIE. WHICH I WILL NOT LET YOU MESS UP!” He instructs Twitty and Tawny to meet him outside for a saloon scene. Except Louis doesn’t have saloon money: 

Twitty: “Louis! What is this, man? Where’s the rest of the saloon?!” Louis: “CUT! Twitty, it’s a close-up. No one’s gonna see the saloon!! Let’s try it again. But this time, give me a little more.” Twitty: “More what?!”  Louis: “JUST MORE!!!!!!”

-- Louis Stevens, everyone. The greatest director of our time. 10/10 would recommend. 

We get possibly the greatest line in the whole episode when they start filming and a lawnmower revs up as soon as Louis shouts ‘action.’ He cannot believe the audacity of his neighbor and shouts “WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THE NOISE?! WHO MOWS THEIR LAWN ON WEDNESDAY?!?!?!” Things only get worse when the sprinklers randomly turn on too. At this point, Louis is #confirmed crazy. 

“TOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I also love Louis’ little toilet paper roll that serves absolutely no real purpose. 

The next day, they move on to filming the big finale scene where Zenobia the Alien takes off in her spaceship, leaving her cowboy lover behind. Louis originally intended for it to take place during a harsh winter blizzard and assigned Tom the responsibility of making convincing snowflakes. Tom shows up with this: 

“TOM, YOU CHOWDERHEAD! I ASKED FOR SNOWFLAKES, NOT DOILIES!”

Louis has no choice but to ditch the blizzard and changes it to “a blazing desert windstorm in the middle of fall.” Okay. Zenobia’s spaceship is a tiny tinfoil thing way up in the trees and Tawny’s like “......how am I supposed to get up there?!” and Tom arrives with a “harness” that’s actually just a freaking elastic luggage rope as if that’s going to handle Tawny’s weight. But Louis assures her “of course it’s safe!!!” because he had Tom test it on a 20-pound sack of potatoes. Sounds legit. 

Is he gonna add that “blazing desert windstorm” in post, or? 

They start filming and sure enough, the “harness” breaks and Tawny falls a good 8 feet to the ground. Louis couldn’t care less though and the gang is D O N E with him at this point. They all quit the project on the spot, leaving Louis to finish the movie himself. Tom was the last one to quit and it’s pretty sad. Louis immediately looks to Tom as a last resort and expects him to step in and help finish the movie, but Tom flat out says “you’re only nice to me when you want something” and Louis has no remorse like “yeah, so?” -- This is the only part of the episode that kills me. But even so, you can tell that Louis is realizing the error of his ways pretty quickly. 

Louis left sad and deserted. “I CAN FINISH THIS MOVIE BY MYSELF!!! .....It’s my ‘thing’.”

Unfortunately, finishing the movie himself includes having to play every role himself as well. Louis is confident that if he shoots at the right angle and disguises his face and voice, no one will be able to tell the difference: “It’s called Movie Magic.”

Ren: “I’m sorry, little three-eyed girl, but do you know where my brother is?”

It cuts back to the subplot. Remember how Ren wrote a hypothetical note to Bobby just to get her thoughts down? Well, she gave it to Ruby to read and Ruby proceeded to stuff it into Bobby’s history textbook without Ren’s permission. Great job, Ruby. Unsurprisingly, Ren is livid. I would be too. Ren is a mess during history class, sweating the moment when Bobby will take out his book. So she crawls on the ground and tries to sneakily retrieve the note from his backpack. This is pretty funny. Her teacher is the same hippie guy, Todd, and this time he’s making Ren’s class do stretches “for knowledge, focus, and concentration.” Once Ren is spotted on the ground lookin’ like a weirdo, she makes up some bogus excuse that she was “squatting for truth!” HAHAHA.

She’s unable to get the note back in time, but amazingly... the note isn’t even in Bobby’s book! Turns out Ivan and Bobby bumped into each other in the hallway earlier and accidentally swapped books in the process. Therefore, the note was delivered to Ivan. You guys know I love a good miscommunication plot. They never fail to make me laugh. Ivan dramatically approaches her later and says “Ren... It needs to end. The looks in the hall, love notes...” I really love Eric Jungmann’s performance here. He’s pretty hilarious and obliviously arrogant, thinking that Ren is in love with him. One thing I never understood was how Ivan could think the note was written for him though? Because I’m SURE Ren must’ve written Bobby’s name somewhere on there! Unless she was keeping it super mysterious for whatever reason. Anyway, Ivan says “Please, Ren. Don’t speak. I’m gonna walk away now. Try not to watch me.” I love it. That’s the end of the subplot. Much like in Surf’s Up, I wish this miscommunication plot had more layers!! 

Ren just stares at him all ~fake-emotional~ and lets him believe what he wants to believe lol.

CUT TO THE FILM FESTIVAL!!! Which takes place at the real-life Vista Theatre in Los Angeles. (Another filming location I’ve added to my bucket list, tbh.) Louis is clearly anxious while waiting around for the festival to kick off and is kinda dreading the ~big premiere~ of his million-dollar movie. He’s sort of standing there rambling random things off to people like ‘have your people call my people!’ and at one point walks alongside a guy and says “yada, yada, yada... let’s just talk about somethin’!” -- Seinfeld reference, anyone?! Crazy to think that the “Yada Yada” episode first aired a mere 4 years before this at the time. I just thought that line was another awesome, subtle thing to throw in and makes for a cool connection to Louis’ Kramer poster. Of course, Louis Stevens would casually quote Seinfeld! I bet it was an ad-lib, honestly. Shia’s the best.

In the end, Twitty, Tawny, and Tom eventually show up in support of Louis and his movie. Louis apologizes for acting like a jerk and Tom even vows to put  “the snowflake incident” behind them. It’s a nice moment before the premiere of what might be the best worst movie ever made, only in competition with Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. 

Let’s just say, “Three Eyes Wide Shut” premiered to... mixed... reviews from the audience. It's very embarrassing. We never actually see the finished product. They only show us a few scenes, which always bummed me out. So I took it upon myself to edit together what “Three Eyes Wide Shut” might’ve turned out like given everything we saw Louis film. And it’s... something:

The intro alone kills me. You know a movie’s gonna be a doozy when the opening credits are typed in Comic Sans. Notice how at the very end Tom mispronounces his own name?! He definitely says “Tom Griblaowski.” Really weird. 

Needless to say, Louis is absolutely mortified by how awful his movie was. He tries hiding by attempting to blend in with some cardboard cutouts in the lobby, but... you can kinda see him there. 

Fun Fact: I was recently binge-watching “That’s So Raven” in preparation for the “Raven’s Home” spin-off, and I was so shocked to discover how many actors they recycled from Even Stevens. Beans, Cynthia Mills, The Asian radio announcer guy, the “Look Smart, Be Smart” instructional tape guy, Beans’ cousin Chris, Mr. Crappizi the school photographer -- the list goes on and on. And if that wasn’t enough... THEY EVEN RECYCLED THESE CARDBOARD CUT-OUTS!!!!!

I DIED LAUGHING AS SOON AS I SAW THIS. Oh my god. I obviously recognized it right away. All of this recycling makes sense though, as both shows were produced by Brookwell/McNamara. But, like... wow. Amazing. After the movie, Twitty and Tom try to make Louis feel better by telling him “You got into the festival, didn’t you?! And they only took the Top 10 entries!” Which would’ve been nice... except Louis explains “Everyone got accepted. There were only 9 entries.” HAHAHAHA. As Twitty and Tom head home, Tawny emerges from the theater and her mind is still reeling from the movie. She’s the only other person on the planet who understood the message Louis was trying to convey which is apparently “feeling like an outsider and wanting to be accepted by your peers.” Yeah, right. 

I always thought it was a nice touch that Tawny wore a green shirt with eyes on it to the premiere of the movie. Definitely feels like a little tribute to Zenobia, lol. 

This is really great though because it sets up Louis and Tawny again nicely. It further establishes that Tawny understands Louis better than anyone else. She got the point of his film when no one else did. She asks if they can watch it again and after they do, all we hear is a sultry voiceover of Tawny saying "I liked it even better the second time" - Oh, God. This always made me really uncomfortable lol. The episode ends with fake “bloopers” from the making of the movie and I can’t deal with it. Interestingly, I watched this episode on TV not too long ago and they cut out Tom's rapid-fire accented quote "Taco burrito, nacho's premio, $1.89 for a limited time, you know what I'm saying?" -- Is that considered offensive or racially insensitive now? I’m assuming. I have no idea but, I thought that was weird and suspicious. 

And that’s it!

I love this episode. So, so much. There’s an aspect to it that is very ahead of its time. Like I mentioned, quality quotes are flying left and right in this one! The humor is ON POINT and the performances are stellar. Especially from Shia! I always say that this is one of the episodes where Louis is at his most ‘Michael Scott.’ There’s just this level of hilariously endearing narcissism that Michael exudes all throughout The Office’s run mixed with that signature dry humor and I get those vibes from Louis so strongly here. It makes me SO HAPPY. I mean, yeah, I usually don’t like it when Louis’ ugly side makes an appearance, but it’s beyond tolerable for me in this one because the plot is just so hysterical. As entertaining as Michael’s narcissism was, it also got him in a lot of trouble as well. Often resulting in very cringe-worthy moments or people resenting him, which we see happen to Louis here. Idk. I just love finding similarities between my favorite shows. This episode also reminds me of when Michael wrote and directed his own terrible movie “Threat Level Midnight.” HAHA. 

I love Ren’s side story, too. It’s one of her stronger/funnier ones for sure. The miscommunication always gets me and the plot is also pretty important because we’re introduced to Bobby and Ruby! I’m ranking this one juuuuust shy of the Top 5 due to it having two separate plots. My Top 5 are all episodes that interweave A and B plots because I feel like Even Stevens just works better that way in general. But, still. That doesn’t take away from how solid this episode is. It literally meets all of my criteria: Personal favorite, quality plotline, quotable dialogue, hilarity, iconicness, overall entertainment value, and there’s even some character development too! So good. 

Thanks for reading!!

Just so y’all know, I actually managed to get “Three Eyes Wide Shut” listed as a legitimate short film on IMDb. I am not kidding. Please feel free to leave a sarcastic review. It’s currently boasting a 6.0. LOL! 

For this episode’s Redbubble design, you can get a reproduction of the Three Eyes Wide Shut theatrical poster!! Omg. This is one of the first things I designed and it’s been sitting in my Redbubble drafts for months. I’m so excited to publish it! haha. The poster can be seen on Louis’ bedroom wall throughout the series! I also made a little “A Louis Stevens Production” design (Comic Sans and poor capitalization and all) with Louis as the MGM Lion, lol. 

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Redbubble 

[artificialqueens]

a/n: just a soft, emo trixya fic where katya misses trixie while filming as3

siri, put “two birds” by Trixie Mattel on shuffle

Katya sat on the couch, breathing still, listening to Two Birds. It’s been three weeks without his other half. He’s been playing the album over and over, slowly torturing himself with the thought of not being with his Trixie. What if he’s crying and Katya can’t hold him, and tell him it’s alright, and use his stupid Maureen voice to cheer him up? What if he’s winning and Katya can’t congratulate him and treat him to whatever he wants? It’s these thoughts that keep Katya up at night. Trixie, had been shooting for Rupaul’s Drag Race: All Stars Three, and he couldn’t have been more thrilled for his boyfriend! Katya, had already had his thrill of being in a season of All Stars, and he never quite understood what Trixie meant when he would complain of how much he missed him. But now he understands. It’s like having a piece of you gone, it’s lonely. Katya doesn’t feel any need to do anything. He’s been eating shit, smoking like crazy, hasn’t even left the house in days. He has shut out the world if his Trixie can’t be with him.

           He sits in a ball on their couch, eating Trixie’s favorite meal, listening to Trixie’s music, surrounding himself in his love. Mama don’t make me put on the dress again.. I can’t stand the way it opens when I spin.. Katya laughs a little when he thinks of his other Trixie’s reasoning for this song. “Little girls that love me are gonna think that it’s me saying I hate drag!! It isn’t!! My mom just considered me to be the flower girl when she got remarried because there were no other girls in the family!! It was horrendous!” Trixie explained, as Katya cackled his wheezy laugh. They drank their wine and laughed the whole night, followed by the best drunk sex they’ve ever had. Katya sighs. He looks next to him, where Trixie was that night, and suddenly feels a cold breeze take over him. All that’s in Katya’s head is the soft curl of Trixie’s blonde hair, the smudged pink lipstick that appears on Katya’s lips by the end of the night, the tight pink shorts Trixie wears that he doesn’t even have to pad. Katya fantasizes of having Trixie feeling him everywhere, kissing every insecurity away, making him forget about his past in Boston. He lights another cigarette. He hasn’t even bother going outside to smoke, Trixie isn’t here so who’s stopping him?  He knows Trixie wants him to stop smoking, but how else was he supposed to cope through this? Katya’s thoughts of self-doubt roll into his head again, for the first time in a while. What if Trixie meets one of the other queens and likes them more than me? Rumor has it Milk is there, he’s attractive. He’s better than me. He can give more to Trixie than I ever could. I’m pathetic.

           I’ll wear your ring, on the right hand, for a while. They’ve always flirted around the idea of marriage. Even though Katya didn’t believe in it, or thought it was too typical for two drag queens to do. “Why should two Rupaul’s Drag Race alumni have to declare their love through two rings and the state?? It’s bullshit.” Katya ranted as he was attaching a tiny hand to his wig. “I don’t know, Kat. I get your whole philosophical look on it, but it’s still special. Walking down the aisle, knowing you’re about to marry your best friend, seeing them at one of their happiest moments, it’s special. It’s something I love to think about.” Trixie lets out. They sit in silence for a few seconds. “And free gifts and loads of money” he says after a few moments. They both laugh for a straight minute, mainly Trixie laughing at the way Katya flails all his limbs when he’s excited. They calm down. Katya sighs. “You know I love you. I know how much a marriage means to you. I just couldn’t even begin to imagine all the money, and all the planning, and who we’d invite and-” “We can have a $15,000 budget, invite close friends and family only, and our colors can be pink and maroon.” Trixie cuts him off. They stare at each other for a moment, followed by them giggling and Katya straddles Trixie. A tear falls down Katya’s cheek. He starts to think of the crazy scenario that Trixie met another guy while filming,  for all I know he’s a fucking pit crew member, and thinking about the incredible amount of guilt he would have for not proposing sooner. Katya knows he shouldn’t have let his ego get in the way and he knows he would never get over it if he lost Trixie. He immediately skips the song.

           I don’t smell you in my sheets. Katya’s favorite song. He starts to realize the house doesn’t smell like it usually does. The scent of vanilla and coffee is gone. Instead, the scent of cigarettes and wine fill the air. More tears run down his cheeks until he can taste the salt. He doesn’t realize it, but his cries become sobs and his sadness becomes anger. How could Trixie leave me like this?! He probably doesn’t even miss me. He loathes for the day that he has to come home to my filthy self. He picks up his phone. Message to My Trix: I love you. Katya knows that he won’t respond because of filming, but he’s been texting him at least once a day just because he finds comfort in it somehow. He looks through his text history. Violet the Whore: any news on trix??? Miss you two whores xx. Katya smiles. All of his texts are asking about Trixie and her progress. Do they not remember they take away your phones while filming?? Like shit I know! He clears his text history. He can’t even be bothered to respond. “I Know You All Over Again” was the song they slow danced to in the kitchen at 3 am once. “Wow, I can see why you got sent home twice-two left feet.” Katya teased. Trixie lightly smacked him in the ass but giggled at his joke. “You know, if I do get asked to go into All Stars 3, I’ll be gone for a bit.” Trixie spoke softly into Katya’s shoulder. They danced slowly. “Sadly, yes. I think I can manage. I’ll just stare at the millions of photos that the fangirls on Twitter will probably be tweeting me.” Katya jokes. He’s trying to be lighthearted, but he knows how hard it’s going to be. “I’m never going to be able to stop thinking about you. They’re probably going to get the worst shots of me looking all dazed and confused and guess what? It was probably me just thinking of your cigarette, red-lipstick-covered mouth.” Trixie says with a chuckle. Katya cackles, loosening his grip around Trixie’s waist. “No matter how upset I get if you’re gone, just remember I am so unbelievably proud of you. My little Barbie doll.” Katya says as he kisses Trixie on the forehead. He blushes. They continue to dance long after the song ends.

Hours pass, and Katya is lying in bed now, still listening to Two Birds on repeat. Just when he would think he’s cried himself out, he’s reminded of a special moment between the two. The bed is cold. He thinks of the times they’ve made love on this bed, the times they’ve laughed on this bed, the times they’ve cried on this bed. The thought makes Katya almost nauseous with sadness. Katya leaves sloppy kisses on his significant other. Sure, this wasn’t the first time they’ve fucked, but this time it was different. “C’mon, babydoll. You can pull through.” Katya coons into Trixie’s ear. Katya has always been dominant but when it came to his Trix, he was soft yet overpowering. Trixie moans his lover’s name. Katya leaves soft marks on his neck, marking his territory before he gets sent off to All Stars. Tonight, was Trixie’s night. Katya was going to make his last night at home memorable. Both of them come, each of them kissing each other through it. A sweaty Katya lies next to Trixie. They breathe heavily for a few minutes, cooling down and gaining composure. “You know, they’re so going to be able to tell I got fucked the night before, right?” Trixie asks, with a breathy laugh followed. “That was the point, hon.” They laugh, and turn to each other to give soft kisses until they fall asleep.

           Katya had been falling asleep on and off for the past hour, but is woken up by his phone dinging. New message from My Trixie. Katya thinks he’s dreaming and tries to go back to sleep. Hours pass, he had finally fallen into a deep sleep. He looks over at the alarm clock. 11:09 a.m. Too early for Katya. He gets himself out of bed, not eager to another day of sulking around the apartment. He hears a clatter in the kitchen. Katya’s smoker heart stops for a second and he stands still. He grabs the nearest heavy object to fight off this intruder- a flower vase- and slowly walks towards the kitchen. He continues to hear noises and braces himself to potentially be shot. He hops around the corner, ready to attack, and he’s stopped in his tracks. In front of him is his tall, balding, handsome boyfriend. Katya stands in disbelief. “What are you doing?” Trixie asks, holding two cups of coffee. Katya puts down the vase and slowly walks over to Trixie. He puts down the coffee cups and they embrace. Katya starts to cry and Trixie says nothing and just holds him. They remain like this for what seems like ages. “Did you not get my text?” Trixie asks with a laugh. Katya tries to gain composure to muffle out a “No.” into Trixie’s shoulder. They laugh. “Neither of us are ever going back to Drag Race unless they take both of us, promise?” Katya asks, eyes puffy. Trixie laughs. “Of course. But let’s make up for lost time.”

[made-in-the-hallway]

14 and 15 or just 15 please

14. Take. It.Off.

It is no secret that Harry has a unique style. He alwayschooses his clothes with humour and sometimes he doesn’t put too much thoughtinto what he will purchase next. The weirdest thing though, is the fact that hecan pull off literally anything; from a ripped t-shirt to a patterned suit. Andit drives you nuts. Whenever there are new pictures of an appearance of him,you are at a loss for words.

Your favourite piece of clothing on him though is thatpink, silk button down shirt that he wore at the shooting of the Perfect video.When your eyes first landed on it, your brain was flooded with filthy scenariosand all the things you could do to him.

Harry knew very well what that particular shirt did toyou and he wasted no time making your fantasies come true. He really enjoyedthat he was capable of playing with your mind and your body just by wearing thatshirt. What he didn’t really notice though, was that shirt brought out thedominant side of you. Of course Harry still had the upper hand but when his bodywas wrapped up in that pink silk, his dominant skills were down the hill.

“Y/N, why aren’t yeh ready yet? We are goin’ to belate”. Tonight you two had arranged to visit your parents, who came to thecountry to check up on their daughter who hadn’t seen in so long.

“Harry I am almost done”, you were already in youroutfit. The only thing left was your shoes and you were ready to go.

“Ok love just makin’ sure”, Harry explained beforeentering your bedroom. In an instant, you froze. No. He wasn’t serious. He knewwhat that shirt did to you and still he decides to wear it for your parents’get-together. You tried to pretend you were angry but the wetness between yourthighs blurred your mind.

“Ha- Harry what are you wearing?”, you couldn’tcontain it.

“Your favourite button down pet”, he said smirking. Youknew the game he was playing. You see, all day Harry was needy for you but you,being consumed with work for your college, had no time fulfilling his wishes. Andthat way was the only one to get what he wanted. He was very cunning.

“Did you choose it because I had no time for my boyall day, huh? Is that so?”, you were moving dangerously close to him and he waswearing that winning smile that made you weak in the knees. But things weregoing to take a turn.

You attacked his lips before he had time to respond toyour question. He glued your body to his and he started kissing you back. His lipsmoved to your jaw and after a second to your neck.

“Take it off Harry”, he kept kissing you like you hadsaid nothing.

“Take. It. Off.”,your demanding tone turned Harry on more and he instantly obliged. His shirtwas on the floor and your dress was next. Kisses were shared upon the releasedskin; kisses that would soon turn into marks.

“Do we have time fo’ at least two rounds baby?”, Harrysaid between moans, trying to get the answer he was seeking for.

“We- we do. Now back to where we left off”, you saidand soon the pleasure was the only thing you felt.

 15. Well, you’recoming home with me whether you like it or not.

“I just find it weird that you won’t come with Harry,that’s all”, Y/F/N explained and you rolled your eyes at her for what felt likethe millionth time. You see, the boys had invited you and Harry to a small gatheringat Liam’s house to celebrate his restored relationship with Cheryl. Things betweenthem were a bit off and they decided to put all their effort into theirrelationship and their newborn. When you told Harry where you were invited to,he promised to come but after you because he had a prescheduled appointmentwith Jeff. You frowned at first but his sad expression that he would miss thestart of his mate’s celebration showed you that he was genuinely sorry. You askedY/F/N to accompany you to the gathering and she accepted even though she wasunsure at first.

“Why are you so skeptical about it? You know Harry isextremely busy lately. I still appreciate his going tonight even though he willbe tired. I don’t think I would do that”, you playfully said and Y/F/N acted asif being hurt.

“C’mon drama queen. Let’s go get ready for tonight”,you grabbed your friend’s arm and dragged her to your room to finally getdressed.

At Liam’s house.

“I am so glad you could make it Y/N. Same goes to you,Y/F/N.”, Liam greeted you both with a heartwarming hug.

“Are you serious Payne? We wouldn’t miss it for theworld!”, you said earning a smile from Liam.

“Where is Cheryl though? We need to catch up with heras well!”, Y/F/N beamed and you started following her after Liam answered.

There weren’t a lot of people invited. This gestureshowed that Liam and Cheryl wanted their close ones to know their decision andto thank them for being so good friends and relatives. You felt really happywith them and you wondered when Harry would arrive. A certain voice behind youcaught your attention. And not in the best of ways.

“Ryan. How are you doing?”. You really didn’t expecthim to be here but what could you say. Ryan had tried to make a move on you inthe past but you were already with Harry and when you told him he just keptgoing. Only when Harry stopped him did he get the message. And you knew that ifHarry saw him here, this night would not be so pleasant anymore.

“I am fine. Still trying to find my match you know”. Fora moment you thought that he had moved on from you until the next words werespoken.

“But no one seems to be as good as you babe”.

“Ryan why don’t you understand that I am with Harry? Doyou want to be beaten up again?”. You instantly regretted those words becauseRyan pulled close to him and whispered in your ear.

“But now your Harry is not here right?”. Panic. That’swhat you were feeling right now. Harry was still nowhere to be seen and youwondered what you could do on your own.

“Harry, I don’t know why but Cheryl invited Ryan aswell. You need to come right now mate. He has your girl cornered and terror iswritten all across her face. Be quick”. Liam said through the phone. Thank Godhe knew the history between Ryan and Harry and he felt obliged to let him knowhe was here.

Just as he heard the words “Ryan” and “He has yourgirl cornered”, Harry was seeing red. Just the thought about another male,especially Ryan, touching you had him up immediately. You were his and no oneelse’s. If he had to beat him up again, nothing was stopping him.

Just when he entered the house, his eyes were tryingto spot you and when they did, he lost it. There you were, trying to escapefrom Ryan’s tight grip but with no success. He hurriedly came up to you andRyan backed away in an instant.

“Oh now yeh are backin’ away? Yeh didn’t understandlast time right?”, you knew Harry was furious and you had to calm him downbefore he spoiled Liam’s and Cheryl’s celebration.

“Harry it’s ok. He won’t come near me again. Please let’sgo and congratulate Liam and Cheryl”. Even though being in the same place asRyan made you uneasy, you had just arrived. Besides, you had your friend heretoo and you couldn’t just vanish.

“Y/N, step away now! He needs to understand one and fo’all”, you were panicking once again now and tried to search for Liam but hebeat you at it. He was already coming towards you.

“Harry enough. He won’t get near Y/N again”. Liam warnedand tried to reason with Harry. He wanted to kick Ryan’s ass but he stoppedhimself.

“If it weren’t fo’ all the people in here, yeh wouldbe knocked out. Don’t yeh ever breathe near her again, got it?” Harrythreatened and Ryan disappeared.

“Harry, let’s go get some drinks oka-“, but he cut youoff.

“Y/N we are going home now.”, he said still a bitangry.

“But I don’t want to go just ye-“.

“Well, you’recoming home with me whether you like it or not”. He saidlooking into your eyes. You should be angry at him that he didn’t let you enjoyLiam’s invitation but this dominance of him was a massive turn on for you. You couldonly imagine what would happen later that night.

“O-ok Harry.”, you said before brushing your handaccidentally from his hard-on. And you were correct. Harry was already hard foryou and his smirk only reassured you that tonight would be good.

Here you go lovely! I decided to write both of the numbers you sent because why not? I really hope you like my answer. Let me know if you did like it! Happy reading!

[mastcomm]

‘S.N.L.’ Imagines the Impeachment Trial That Could Have Been

If you ended the week hoping that President Trump’s impeachment trial would go on longer, this weekend’s opening “Saturday Night Live” sketch imagined just such a scenario: a parade of self-serving witnesses that wasn’t necessarily an improvement.

This week’s episode, hosted by J.J. Watt of the Houston Texans and featuring the musical guest Luke Combs, began with a voice-over lamenting that the president’s trial “wound up consisting of two weeks of dry debate and posturing, and will conclude without any witness testimony or new evidence.” Instead, the sketch promised “the trial you wish had happened.”

The scene opened with Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. (Mikey Day) vowing that he would conduct the trial with “complete disinterest” — only to be replaced by the reality TV host Judge Mathis (Kenan Thompson), who brought his own gavel with him.

Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky (Beck Bennett) spoke on behalf of the president, remarking, “I just want to remind the American people that all men are innocent after proven guilty.”

Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina (Kate McKinnon) also advocated for the president. When Thompson asked her if she was worried about how history might judge her, McKinnon replied, “Where I come from, we have our own history books, and on the cover, a T. rex is handing a Confederate flag to Jesus.”

Thompson then called for the testimony of several witnesses, beginning with John R. Bolton (Cecily Strong), the former national security adviser. Strong said the president’s actions left her “deeply worried about the future of democracy,” but when Thompson asked her to elaborate on the contents of a forthcoming memoir, she said: “No, no, sorry, judge, no more free spoilers. But you can pre-order the book now. It’s called ‘Harry Potter and the Room Where It Happened.’”

Pete Davidson as appeared as Hunter Biden, entering the courtroom on a hoverboard scooter and explaining that he now sat on “the board of a Brazilian money-laundering company called Nepotismo.”

Alec Baldwin at last turned up in his recurring role as President Trump, entering the trial with the assistance of a walker.

“Your honor, I’m a very sick old man,” Baldwin said. “How could I withhold aid from the Ukraine? I can barely get around the house”

Thompson asked him, “Are you trying to Weinstein me right now?”

Baldwin replied: “In which sense? Because Harvey and I overlap in a few areas.”

There were further appearances from Alex Moffat as Representative Adam Schiff and Kyle Mooney as Joe Pesci’s title character from “My Cousin Vinny.” (“That is too dumb, even for this,” Thompson observed.)

Baldwin gave a closing statement in which he said, “Ladies and gentlemen of this government place, what I’ve learned from this trial is that clearly nothing I do or say has any consequence.”

Thompson nonetheless found him guilty, fined him $10,000 and ordered him to say one nice thing about Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

Football Sketch of the Week

As you might expect in an episode hosted by an N.F.L. player on the night before the Super Bowl, there were a few sketches in this episode that dealt with football, including a fake ad for Oil of Olay eye black (“Oil of BrOlay”) and a segment that found Watt in an unusual recording session for a football video game.

Still, we’ll give the edge to this filmed sketch called “Robbie,” which models itself on inspirational sports movies like “Rudy.” It features Chris Redd as the title character, a spunky member of his college team’s practice squad who has never gotten to suit up for an actual game, and Day, Moffat and Mooney as his well-intentioned teammates, all of whom are willing to give up their spots so that Robbie can finally play.

Then there’s Watt as another fellow player, who makes it painfully clear why Redd should not be permitted anywhere near the field.

Weekend Update Jokes of the Week

Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors, Colin Jost and Michael Che, continued to riff on the impeachment trial of President Trump.

“The impeachment trial is basically over,” Jost began …

… is a sentence I could have said two weeks ago when the trial began. We didn’t even get to hear any witnesses in this trial. And by the way, look at the witnesses we could have had. [Shows pictures of Lev Parnas and John Bolton.] You don’t want to hear anything from these guys? They look like the two characters in a video game who give you the best information. My questions for them aren’t even about Trump. My questions are like: “What’s your deal? Walk us through a typical day. What kind of food do you eat? Is it human food?”

He continued:

It was reported that President Trump pushed for the vote to be on Tuesday so that he could boast about his acquittal during the State of the Union. But now experts are saying that Trump might strike a more humble tone. And we actually have an advance copy of his speech: [Plays an animation of President Trump dancing to MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This.”]

Che, shaking his head, picked up the thread:

What better way to start Black History Month than to be failed by the justice system. Why was this impeachment ever a good idea? We would have been better off just yelling, “Citizen’s arrest!” And why didn’t we get Alan Dershowitz? This dude was amazing. He somehow convinced the court that a president should be allowed to break the law as long as it’s good for the country. That’s like telling your girl you only cheated to practice being good at sex for her. You know what? That’s it, I’m a Republican now. I’m tired of losing. I can’t be a Democrat and a Knicks fan. It’s too much heartbreak, man.

Black History Month Salute of the Week

Ego Nwodim appeared at the Weekend Update desk as Dr. Angie Hynes, a professor of African-American Studies at Rutgers University, who said that she wanted to spotlight figures who were not as well-known as, say, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. or Rosa Parks. Instead, Nwodim began by singling out a woman named Cynthia Woods, who she said “showed up at my wedding wearing all white.” Nwodim added, “She is black and she is history to me.”

She similarly called out an ex-colleague who had sent her inappropriate photographs; her twin sister, Angel, who may or may not have cheated with her husband; and the drugstore chain Duane Reade, which Nwodim called “black Walgreens” but dismissed for “locking up the lotion.”

“Duane Reade, you black, and you history,” she said. “CVS, welcome to the cookout, baby.”

Gallows Humor of the Week

Bowen Yang returned to the Weekend Update desk in his recurring role as the fictional Chinese government official Chen Biao, now promoted to the position of a health minister contending with the coronavirus outbreak. As Yang said of his character’s new gig: “It pays more and it’s a lot sadder. I guess I’m China’s new crisis queen.”

Yang explained that he and his colleagues would eventually contain the virus with “patience, diligence” and the use of Burberry surgical masks. He did not seem particularly bothered to hear that American Airlines was halting its flights to China.

“Oh no, I can’t fly American Airlines anymore?” Yang said sarcastically. “The only airline where if you ask for a Sprite, they say, ‘Is Sierra Mist O.K.?’ Who will I pay to throw my luggage in the garbage?”

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Primary Education is Extraordinary. What I learned in a day.

Image Vintage alphabet blocks. Pinterest

I recently spent a day visiting Tudor Court Primary School in Chafford Hundred, Essex, as part of a visit for a group of Chinese teachers. It’s a school I worked with last year –  led by the wonderful Phil Kyriacou.  It’s a four form entry school which allows visitors to get a sense of the curriculum as it changes through the year groups whilst also seeing the dynamics of different classes within each year.  As a secondary specialist, I found it absolutely fascinating – as I have on every occasion I’ve visited primary schools before.

My main thought throughout the day was just how important the work of primary teachers is.  All the basic knowledge and skills that we assume students will arrive with in Year 7 – reading, writing, social skills, learning habits –  do not simply spring into being.  They are crafted and nurtured in primary classrooms – these are precious days for each child.  I was also struck by just how complex it is and just how difficult it must be to get right for every child.

Our visit gave us the opportunity to see students in different classes all the way through the school.  Here are some reflections on what I saw.

Reception:  Child-initiated play. 

In the early weeks of reception, children were all fully immersed in extended child-initiated play in various zones inside and outside the classroom.  The teachers were taking children aside one at a time for one-to-one baseline assessments – numbers, letters, shapes.  I could have stayed there all day – just to join in all the activities.  Children were involved in so many different things:  a tool shed outside with planks of wood, foam blocks and tyres to stack – children with hard-hats and drills acting out a builders’ yard scene; a sand pit with lots of pouring and digging; some girls burying dinosaurs in tyre filled with sand; a toy house indoors was the scene of an extended drama played out with some figures- the children far too busy to stop to answer my questions; there was table of cake tins of different sizes to stack, fit together and play games with; a set of motor-skills games with sticks, conkers and buttons to push along some wiggly lines; a big chalk-drawn race track with tricycles to race around on.  There were also some computer programmes linking sounds and letters to puzzles of different kinds.

All of this hands-on stuff was interwoven with the social dynamics of sharing, taking turns and agreeing on a plan.  The teacher explained how they monitor activities and balance the total freedom with the need to sometimes direct certain students towards different areas depending on how they progress with their learning.  I don’t fully understand the developmental science but this all felt like a very important period in these children’s education.  The primordial soup from which so much else flows.  I thought that it must be easy to get this period wrong; to mistime the point at which the play moves toward more formal learning. How do you know when?  Can you have too much play? Does it have to be the right kind of play? So many questions!

I was in awe of the teachers.  Their patience with the children, their enthusiasm and positive encouragement – and just the right amount of direction and shepherding and reinforcement of social graces.   We’re all teachers but it’s another world in EYFS.

Year 2: Phonics and writing

As much as I’ve tried to follow the debate about reading and phonics, I haven’t seen that much phonics teaching in practice. This was a treat.  We saw a mix of set-ups designed to cater for different needs or to facilitate smaller group sessions within a larger class.   The phonics teaching was very skilful – energetic, precise, linking sounds to whole words and to writing the letters in cursive hand-writing.  There was a blend of work at tables and then on the carpet – the classic primary scenario with students gathered cross-legged at the teacher’s feet. I was so impressed with how well teachers could hold attention, switch from instruction, to questioning, to paired discussions, to choral responses – whilst juggling the resources and managing minor behaviour issues.

The range of skills in writing was remarkable – and I imagine a real challenge to manage. Some students still struggling with some basic letter formation whilst others were writing fluently with ease.  I wondered whether this gap narrows over time – simply because children start learning at different times and rates and that evens out – or whether Year 2 writing is a major indicator of future success overall?  The issues of seeking universal mastery whilst also delivering challenge for all and differentiating support are common to us all but it’s a very stark issue in Year 2. I saw teachers doing a brilliant job holding their groups together, blending small group and independent work and paying attention to individual learning needs.  It’s quite brilliant to watch.

Year 4:  Reading, speaking, imagination and accuracy. 

Year 4s were engaged in a unit of Witches based around Roald Dahl’s The Witches. In one class this was the stimulus for some art-activities – drawing, painting, collage. The teacher said it would flow into a writing task where students would write instructions for the witch figures they were making. Next door, students were writing dialogues based on the story.   In each pair, one was a BBC reporter interviewing their partner, Grandmother, a Witchophile. They wrote their scripts and then some were invited to act them out for the class – which was wonderful.  In another class, there was a screen showing a class brainstorm of adjectives and connectives that students were then using to answer questions about various characters in the story.

In each class, it was interesting to see how teachers used core tasks that enabled every student to engage and progress but also gave them a degree of freedom to push to another level.   They also balanced the demand for accuracy and precision with English and the encouragement to inject some flair and personality into the dialogue. Sitting with a pair of boys, it was fascinating to see how they worked, taking time to process their thoughts, to turn the collective group-level sharing of ideas into ideas of their own that they felt happy to commit to paper.  Dry-wipe boards were on hand for children to try ideas out – that seemed to help them.  It was like being present at the moment of inception of a creative idea – you can’t simply drill someone into being imaginative.  That must take a lot of skill and patience – to balance the rigour and the freedom.  Respect is due!

Year 6: Grammar and the Wider Curriculum 

I didn’t see a Year 6 lesson on this occasion but we spent some time reviewing curriculum resources.  I’m looking at a Year 6 grammar book right now.  My main observation is simply to marvel at how much there is in it that I do not know! But this is also a set of things I wish I had been taught.   It’s one of the maddening features of our national curriculum that the KS2 SPAG does not spiral up into KS3 so that secondary teachers share the same professional learning as their KS2 counterparts in order to continue the process.  We all should know and support the teaching of this stuff  – not just English teachers.

The other reflection – which also applied to Y3-Y5 – was the nature of primary teaching in relation to the foundation subjects.  The use of themed topic work is entirely logical given that teachers have to teach so many content areas. Some of the themes are rich in content and look like they would be wonderful to teach.  At the same time I couldn’t help wonder whether they can ever be given enough time when so much emphasis is placed on literacy and maths.  Is there room for more specialist science teaching and history teaching? And definitely French.  Hats off to teachers who have to develop confidence with so many areas – it is something teachers acknowledge as an issue for them. At least at Tudor Court, the staff is large enough to allow for quite a few subject leaders to support specialist teaching across KS2. It must be very hard in smaller schools for every teacher to deliver all the content areas with full confidence, at the right level for the age group.

Finally, I am struck by how much changes from YR to Y6.  Within one school, nevermind between Y6 and Y7, the nature of teaching changes so dramatically with very different skills.  I wonder how easy it is for teachers to swap around between year groups?

****

I’m hoping to spend more time in primary schools in future. There’s so much to learn! Thanks again to Phil and the amazing staff at Tudor Court for a superb visit.

Primary Education is Extraordinary. What I learned in a day. published first on http://ift.tt/2uVElOo

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‘S.N.L.’ Imagines the Impeachment Trial That Could Have Been

If you ended the week hoping that President Trump’s impeachment trial would go on longer, this weekend’s opening “Saturday Night Live” sketch imagined just such a scenario: a parade of self-serving witnesses that wasn’t necessarily an improvement.

This week’s episode, hosted by J.J. Watt of the Houston Texans and featuring the musical guest Luke Combs, began with a voice-over lamenting that the president’s trial “wound up consisting of two weeks of dry debate and posturing, and will conclude without any witness testimony or new evidence.” Instead, the sketch promised “the trial you wish had happened.”

The scene opened with Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. (Mikey Day) vowing that he would conduct the trial with “complete disinterest” — only to be replaced by the reality TV host Judge Mathis (Kenan Thompson), who brought his own gavel with him.

Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky (Beck Bennett) spoke on behalf of the president, remarking, “I just want to remind the American people that all men are innocent after proven guilty.”

Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina (Kate McKinnon) also advocated for the president. When Thompson asked her if she was worried about how history might judge her, McKinnon replied, “Where I come from, we have our own history books, and on the cover, a T. rex is handing a Confederate flag to Jesus.”

Thompson then called for the testimony of several witnesses, beginning with John R. Bolton (Cecily Strong), the former national security adviser. Strong said the president’s actions left her “deeply worried about the future of democracy,” but when Thompson asked her to elaborate on the contents of a forthcoming memoir, she said: “No, no, sorry, judge, no more free spoilers. But you can pre-order the book now. It’s called ‘Harry Potter and the Room Where It Happened.’”

Pete Davidson as appeared as Hunter Biden, entering the courtroom on a hoverboard scooter and explaining that he now sat on “the board of a Brazilian money-laundering company called Nepotismo.”

Alec Baldwin at last turned up in his recurring role as President Trump, entering the trial with the assistance of a walker.

“Your honor, I’m a very sick old man,” Baldwin said. “How could I withhold aid from the Ukraine? I can barely get around the house”

Thompson asked him, “Are you trying to Weinstein me right now?”

Baldwin replied: “In which sense? Because Harvey and I overlap in a few areas.”

There were further appearances from Alex Moffat as Representative Adam Schiff and Kyle Mooney as Joe Pesci’s title character from “My Cousin Vinny.” (“That is too dumb, even for this,” Thompson observed.)

Baldwin gave a closing statement in which he said, “Ladies and gentlemen of this government place, what I’ve learned from this trial is that clearly nothing I do or say has any consequence.”

Thompson nonetheless found him guilty, fined him $10,000 and ordered him to say one nice thing about Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

Football Sketch of the Week

As you might expect in an episode hosted by an N.F.L. player on the night before the Super Bowl, there were a few sketches in this episode that dealt with football, including a fake ad for Oil of Olay eye black (“Oil of BrOlay”) and a segment that found Watt in an unusual recording session for a football video game.

Still, we’ll give the edge to this filmed sketch called “Robbie,” which models itself on inspirational sports movies like “Rudy.” It features Chris Redd as the title character, a spunky member of his college team’s practice squad who has never gotten to suit up for an actual game, and Day, Moffat and Mooney as his well-intentioned teammates, all of whom are willing to give up their spots so that Robbie can finally play.

Then there’s Watt as another fellow player, who makes it painfully clear why Redd should not be permitted anywhere near the field.

Weekend Update Jokes of the Week

Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors, Colin Jost and Michael Che, continued to riff on the impeachment trial of President Trump.

“The impeachment trial is basically over,” Jost began …

… is a sentence I could have said two weeks ago when the trial began. We didn’t even get to hear any witnesses in this trial. And by the way, look at the witnesses we could have had. [Shows pictures of Lev Parnas and John Bolton.] You don’t want to hear anything from these guys? They look like the two characters in a video game who give you the best information. My questions for them aren’t even about Trump. My questions are like: “What’s your deal? Walk us through a typical day. What kind of food do you eat? Is it human food?”

He continued:

It was reported that President Trump pushed for the vote to be on Tuesday so that he could boast about his acquittal during the State of the Union. But now experts are saying that Trump might strike a more humble tone. And we actually have an advance copy of his speech: [Plays an animation of President Trump dancing to MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This.”]

Che, shaking his head, picked up the thread:

What better way to start Black History Month than to be failed by the justice system. Why was this impeachment ever a good idea? We would have been better off just yelling, “Citizen’s arrest!” And why didn’t we get Alan Dershowitz? This dude was amazing. He somehow convinced the court that a president should be allowed to break the law as long as it’s good for the country. That’s like telling your girl you only cheated to practice being good at sex for her. You know what? That’s it, I’m a Republican now. I’m tired of losing. I can’t be a Democrat and a Knicks fan. It’s too much heartbreak, man.

Black History Month Salute of the Week

Ego Nwodim appeared at the Weekend Update desk as Dr. Angie Hynes, a professor of African-American Studies at Rutgers University, who said that she wanted to spotlight figures who were not as well-known as, say, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. or Rosa Parks. Instead, Nwodim began by singling out a woman named Cynthia Woods, who she said “showed up at my wedding wearing all white.” Nwodim added, “She is black and she is history to me.”

She similarly called out an ex-colleague who had sent her inappropriate photographs; her twin sister, Angel, who may or may not have cheated with her husband; and the drugstore chain Duane Reade, which Nwodim called “black Walgreens” but dismissed for “locking up the lotion.”

“Duane Reade, you black, and you history,” she said. “CVS, welcome to the cookout, baby.”

Gallows Humor of the Week

Bowen Yang returned to the Weekend Update desk in his recurring role as the fictional Chinese government official Chen Biao, now promoted to the position of a health minister contending with the coronavirus outbreak. As Yang said of his character’s new gig: “It pays more and it’s a lot sadder. I guess I’m China’s new crisis queen.”

Yang explained that he and his colleagues would eventually contain the virus with “patience, diligence” and the use of Burberry surgical masks. He did not seem particularly bothered to hear that American Airlines was halting its flights to China.

“Oh no, I can’t fly American Airlines anymore?” Yang said sarcastically. “The only airline where if you ask for a Sprite, they say, ‘Is Sierra Mist O.K.?’ Who will I pay to throw my luggage in the garbage?”

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