#also don't mind how high I'm making all his talents I literally am just being prepared

[yippieitsarven]

every time I look at how much I need left I cry a little bit IT'S NOT THAT MUCH!!!! PLEASE!! JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE... For my baby....

[weebsinstash]

Dunno if you watched SK8 the Infinity, but one important conflict is literally the protagonist Reki becoming extremly insecure and unmotivated in skating after seeing how his new friend Langa (a snowboarder) who has barely started skating is a prodigy and so much better at it than him, who has been skating since he was a child.

Langa is naturally talented at skating while Reki works hard and still cannot measure up to someone who just started, which makes him consider quit skating altogether and leads him to distance himself from Langa because of insecurity and jealousy.

Those type of scenarios just pull at the heartstrings, you know?? Like there is nothing worse than working hard and still feeling inferior to the people around you, which DOES make for juicy angsty scenarios :)(

No but literally those are the kinds of plots where you kinda immerse yourself in the grief and it can be empowering to see your underdog recover, but also GOD is that shit so depressing and hits close to home, for real the kind of plots I soak up and throw pity parties for myself for lol

You know I've been pretty open about it but like, every so often I get compliments on my writing that are very sweet, but ultimately I do have to acknowledge like 😅 I AM basically a self taught high school drop out. So especially when I personally start writing about these sorts of stories "lol what if Reader is a depressed fucking loser absolutely struggling through the mediocre machinations of life and has Strong Hot Person come save them" like. You know where that's coming from lmao 😂 extremely unsettle but I figure what I write is usually relatable enough that it's like why the fuck not be a little personal sometimes

God though I had initially considered that when I was talking about like the Spiderverse You vs YouTwo ideas, initially considered making YouTwo drastically superior to you, but the route I've decided on is, you're on equal footing and there are certain things you each do better than the other but, seeing them be better than you at anything is salt in your wounds since you're feeling replaced.

I also like obviously have mentioned it several times but like. Living with Damian Wayne specifically would be absolute awful for this scenario, especially if you make your yandere mean or whatever. Like you could be minding your own goddamn business doing your favorite hobby and have this snot nosed fucking 10 year old (this one, the nasty one, before he gets tamed down, potentially by you?) and he's just like "that's not how you're supposed to do it" and physically takes it out of your hands, does it for you, and explains to you what you were doing wrong the entire time

Like imagine platonic yandere Damian who can't communicate his feelings for shit and is still deep in his Little Hellion Phase so you think he's just constantly insulting you and trying to show how much better and smarter than you he is when in reality he's just like. Very Poorly being like, "oh, a chance to show my sibling how cool and smart I am, and then I can teach them and they'll like me :) and they like to learn new things so I should teach them as much as I know and they can feel smart too :)" and on your end you're thinking he's an egotistical MEAN little kid who's making you extremely insecure and feel worthless and stupid and maybe sometimes often he's, not always using the best language with you because he wasn't really raised with kindness. "Why would you think THAT'S how you do it?" With a tone like youre a fucking idiot, "I don't understand what you're not seeing, I've been doing this for years and I'm an actual child"

like genuinely it's all of those "someone else one upping you" ideas but WORSE because you can't leave this fucking house and he's TEN. Youve got a fucking TEN YEAR OLD physically and mentally one upping you CONSTANTLY with the mental abilities of like a fucking adult man. I feel like the entire family being trained in violence, you'd think they would understand having like a physical fight and have probably had many themselves, but the second YOU lose your temper and put a hand on any of THEM, SACRILEGE. Damian couldve been saying the cuntiest things to your face and the SECOND you swing on him, just absolutely lose your shit, suckerpunch that brat in his face, give him a literal black eye that he didn't block because he didn't expect his beloved sibling to hit him, Bruce is UP YOUR ASS about, "you know better than this! That's your brother!!" like straight up, I think messing with one of the Robins or members of his family is the fastest way to have yandere Bruce lose patience with you and do something less loving. Takes away privileges, grounds you, makes you do labor around the house or labor for him in the cave or Damian, forces you to apologize and also acknowledge "that my brother just wanted what was best for me 🙄"

He's the kind of overbearing calculating shit where he waits until everyone is at the family dinner table and he casually pauses in between spoonfuls of soup, "so I see sister has been sneaking out of the house. You didn't do a very good job of washing the cigarette smoke out of your jacket" ousting you in a double whammy combo for sneaking out without permission AND smoking, and of course you're responding something like "you little PRICK!!" and now Bruce is standing up, jabbing a finger towards the stairs as he demands you go to your room with the unspoken threat that's he's coming up there to speak to you about this after everyone eats

Like legit living in that house would be a nightmare because everyone is gifted and everyone's doing somersaulting backflips and it's like. Lmao my knees pop when I stand up :) you're all like insanely gifted in your fields and I'm like. Normal. Some would say a simple minded burnout, even. Like. Lmao. Imagine a scenario where you're still independent and doing your own thing bur Bruce is, you know yandere mode and keeping tabs on you, and he's constantly trying to like, nudge you towards better opportunities. You're in costume on a rooftop and suddenly he's asking you about your schooling. You're working a shitty day job and one day the in universe equivalent sends you am email "based on your qualifications, this employer is interested in your resume" and its a super well paying WayneTech job that you. Turn down because you'd either fail the drug test and don't think you're good enough lmao. Bruce just tearing his hair out as he decides "ok fine I'll make your life better by force" and just starts buying your apartment building and where you work or some shit so he can improve your quality of life from the outside

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 - Exclusive Special Preview Breakdown

I literally just got home and am speedrunning frame by frame through ANOTHER huge trailer that dropped while IRL had me in a chokehold today--AMC, y'all are tryna put me in the hospital, ISTG! We're EATING SO WELL in the fandom!

That's the SECOND MOFO to shoulder-check my daughter--DEATH to all of them!

past!Lesmand in Les Innocents I assume.

This is spiiiiiiiiiicy, cuz it directly links up with what they show later about Claudia's diaries:

I BET! You choke-slammed me like my a-hole father-uncle-brother did, and refused to toss his desanguinated husk in the incinerator with his 9-fingered sidepiece! DISHONOUR!

DRAG HIM, Claudia!

(Why even bother touching it, ew.) I love how JA's voice over is explaining how Lou & Claud have experienced true horror, and they show some dried out skeleton from Eastern Europe, knowing good & well some corpse is LIGHT, compared to the mess they've been through.

this is FERAL.

HD footage of the infamous too-effing-dark-and-blurry Loustat kiss. At long last.

omg Lestat is a TROLLLLLLLLLLLL 😅

I'm getting the impression that there's barely a scene WITHOUT Lestat haunting Louis, even when his new boo's right there! Poor Armand never stood a chance. U_U

Assad said "Armand cannot help but feel Lestat's presence--" you mean like LITERALLY? With the Mind Gift? So Armand KNOWS Louis is hallucinating Lestat the whole time!? 😱

DANG, Louis needs Lestat as a scapegoat to blame when things go wrong, but he also needs Lestat to be his guilty conscious helping him make the "right" decisions.

What's WILD is that SamStat's so dang good at being this p.o.s. we (via Louis' POV) are supposed to hate--but this isn't even Lestat! It's a literal figment of Louis' traumatized imagination, even moreso than the descriptions Louis gave to Daniel in 1973. It is so much clearer here WHY Louis went off on Lestat in SanFran, cuz he'd been dealing with a fake Lestat for possibly decades by then, driving him nuts, that Louis then raged against in the first interview. I really like that AMC is showing us this--it hits so much better than just getting a couple lines in the book, and next to zero references in the movie.

TELL IT, JACOB! Y'all know those friends/family that just LOVE a bad boy--someone toxic AF that no one in their right mind would seriously consider, cuz they're addicted to the high that DRAMA gives them. They don't feel like they're really living/loving if everything's not a freaking rollercoaster. Which is why REBOUNDS are often a bad idea! They never process their damage before jumping to the next inevitable disaster--Louis LITERALLY carrying his past baggage with him. U_U

"Die, Claudia." 😒

LOUMAND'S BEDROOM AT LONG LAST! 😭 It's so cool! (My nerdy The Sims gamer heart is having palpitations; it's nothing like I expected. ❤️ MORE jail/cage bars.)

Not a shocker--I bet these are the ones about Paris (neatly sliced out), not the ones about Bruce (torn out). The agreement part is interesting though, cuz Louis has to ask Armand's permission to see his daughter's diaries, which means Armand's the one keeping them away--the question is WHY? Cuz we know Louis' memorized her diaries. So I'm wondering if it's cuz Daniel's been poking so many holes that Louis' starting to doubt his memories about what happened, and needs to see them for verification? OR, Lou has no memories of what happened and what was on those pages, and Armand's like "We REMOVE the Damage So We FORGET The Damage."

Chile, you been knew Louis' cuckoo bananas--the REAL mystery is Armand.

Yeah, we been knew Ben Daniels was gonna out-Lestat Lestat, the man's oozing Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent.

Meanwhile Louis looks beyond disgusted.

RIP to all the Meat being butchered on stage.

"Dare I say it's a much gorier season." PERFECT. I really wanna see them BE VAMPS, not just the Theatre. LFG! ^0^

[nightcourtreader]

Hi<3 hru?

can I rant with you a little? I feel like you're the most reasonable person in this fandom (and this platform) haha or maybe we share same opinion idk but:

I am so tired of seeing this fandom painting Feyre be bad at everything... her talent in painting? "not very good she didn't have a teacher or anything" (mind you I'm an artist and self-taught). her being a high lady? "she can't even do her job she a bad ruler" her being equal to Rhys and powerful as fuck? "Nesta is way more powerful than her" her being beautiful in Rhys' eyes? "no everyone say Elain is more beautiful than all of them" Feyre being a mother? "oh she will be a bad mom and can't raise her child" to the point I've ppl saying Eris (ERIS OF ALL PEOPLE) who apparently had 6 brothers and knows better than Feyre how to calm a baby and we all know both Feyre and Rhys won't let him get near him at any scenario. or how there's fanfic where Gwyn is the one telling Feyre how to pull it together and calming Nyx and Rhys just sits there and agrees with her... it's funny how ppl want to show Feyre as a incapable mother so some ppl like Eris and Gwyn should come and save the day.

I love Gwyn don't get me wrong (and I'm neutral about Eris since it's obvious he's a another version of Rhys lmao) but to show a softer version of them through bringing down Feyre pisses me off... and in none of this Rhys is portrait as a bad father... interesting! or how I've seen more fanart with E/riel and Nyx more that Feysand and Nyx is bothering me to no end. them babysitting him or a older version of him have a sleepover in their house or them literally raising him bc apparently Feyre is busy being a high lady and doesn't have time to spend it with Nyx. and no one say Rhys is also there being a high lord and have a job like Feyre ruling their court no...

and it won't stop on her being a bad mother she's also a bad painter and that rages me. we have Azriel going through continent to buy her paints, Cassian watching her paint and cries over them and Nesta she also cried when she saw Feyre had a painting of her and lets be honest if Feyre was a bad artist Nesta would've already told her in cabin but she said nothing and let her paint on everything. or how Mor loved what she did to the Cabin but everyone only focus on her drawing on the walls without permission and make fun of it. or how they have always something to say about sjm bad writing means they look deeper in it but never notice the artistic way Feyre describes things...

but we don't see anyone saying Nesta is a bad dancer or Gwyn a bad singer or Elain's a bad cook... Like ever... I've never seen it at least!

it's funny how they bold their fav Character through bringing down another... and think sjm would or doing the same :)

Hiii 💜 trust me you can rant to me all you want! Thank you 😂

I always found it crazy how Feyre was the only character to be made fun of about her hobby. I know people say oh it’s a joke, lighten up, I just thought it was funny. But is only funny to a certain extent, you know?

There are people literally shitting on Feyre for painting. And I think that comes down to not liking the character. You don’t have to like her, but making up lies because you don’t like the character is crazy to me. Like people have to realize that SJM is writer not an artist but I think she did pretty with describing Feyre and her painting.

And like you said. Why is it that Elain is so good at baking even tho she just picked up the hobby in acofas but Feyre is a bad painter. Why is nesta so good at dancing but Feyre is a bad painter? Why is Gwyn such a good singer but Feyre is bad at painting? We see that Azriel also sings, why is he a good singer already and we haven’t seen him sing yet?

Cassian AND nesta said how much the black dress Elain wore to the court of nightmares was an ill suited dress for her. If they can critique Elain’s fashion choice, why haven’t they critiqued Feyre’s painting if she’s so bad? I could have sworn nesta was upset because there wasn’t any paintings of her in the river house.

It has been stated by numerous characters that Feyre is a damn good painter. It doesn’t matter if she’s self taught and so is my nephew who is a teenager and he can outdraw my on my best day.

People get so upset about the cabin but nobody cared. Mor even brought her more paint to encourage her to continue! If it’s Rhysand’s cabin, then in turn it’s Feyre because what’s his is hers and I think Rhysand made that pretty clear. I can even see the IC in the cabin making little drawings around Feyre’s painting like Mor did to mess with each other and add more color to it and laugh about it later.

With the whole Feyre not being a good ruler thing kills me because she just literally got into the role in acomaf. They had a war in acowar where we couldn’t see her be a ruler but Feyre was actively helping in the war. She saved prythian twice by defeated amarantha & rebuilding the cauldron. She saved the damn rainbow of velaris! Nobody was over there but her. She even talked about the paperwork side of being a high lady in ACOFAS, but this is the same novella people say they don’t like.

Tarquin just got to be a highlord in acotar but he’s such a great ruler? Why people are acting like Feyre can’t be further taught? She just got into the role. She’ll be fine.

I do think if nesta had her full power before she gave it away she would have more power than Feyre, some people also have a hard time understanding that nesta literally didn’t want that power and she stated that she slept with numerous men to keep that power away/at bay. But now since she doesn’t have as much of her power I think that Feyre and Rhys are once again more powerful than she is.

I get it that Elain is the most beautiful sister but all the sisters say the same thing about Azriel, does it make Cassian or Rhys less beautiful? Cause I could have sworn nesta didn’t think Rhys was ugly and she didn’t even like him. Aelin saw Rhys and she said he was beautiful too. So why does saying Elain is the most beautiful Archeon sister take away the beauty from Feyre & nesta?

The whole she a bad mother thing is just crazy because we haven’t even seen Feyre be a mother at all in the series! Just because we got that one scene at the end of acosf, that doesn’t tell us anything.

SJM said in CC3 the acotar characters are going to be very protective of Nyx, if they are so protective with him why would he be around Eris when they don’t even trust him? Eris is allies with the night court at best. We’re not even sure if eris himself even help raised his brothers because based off reading it’s clear that the autumn court siblings are not close (they are all killing & hurting each other) and they had a fucked up upbringing.

I love Gwyn but Gwyn is only 28, I know she defended the children in sangravah and I have no doubt my girl will be a good mommy, but I don’t think Gwyn is the right candidate to tell someone what to do when it comes to a baby.

Having Nyx was something Feyre and Rhys wanted. SJM is a mother to 2 kids and just recently had her second one, so I’m pretty sure she’s excited writing Feyre as being a mom herself, so why would Feyre be a bad mother? Feyre knew how she grew up, she literally has all the chance and opportunity to give Nyx the opposite of what she had growing up, so why wouldn’t she?

If they’re only attacking Feyre since she’s supposedly going to be a bad mother and not Rhys then that tells me all I need to know, they don’t like Feyre.

I get being a new mom is hard and trying to balance work can be difficult and no I’m not a mom personally myself, but it has proven time and time again that first time moms and moms who have more than one kid can take care of their mother duties and work at the same time and still be a good damn mom but for some reason Feyre can’t?

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Current Top 10 EXO Songs

I'm counting their subunit/solo songs as eligible--I'll specify when a song isn't from EXO as a group! Though, I did stop myself from putting literally every song from Kai's first two albums on here--I can't be THAT biased (even though I totally am).

1. Gravity

This song is the high of dancing all night--and it's a great song for dancing all night to. This is only above "XiangJiang River" because of sentimental value, but "Gravity" EARNED that sentimental value. It got me through a lot, and for good reason :)

2. XiangJiang River -- Lay

Yes, this is here on a technicality (Lay is like barely in EXO at this point), but it's too legendary to miss--this is on my personal greatest songs of all time list.

3. Artificial Love

For such an icy song, this should not be as catchy & memorable as it is. Everything the YouTuber mera said about Aespa’s “Savage”, that’s what this song is to me.

4. All I Got -- Baekhyun

I think what makes this song breathtaking is how classic it feels--this feels like a cover of a song I've been hearing in the car since I was a little kid, so Baekhyun going absolutely WILD over it with the vocals doesn't feel overwhelming at all! It's a perfect match--such a simple song with the luxury & excess that is Baekhyun's vocal style. If you like Demi Lovato's "You Don't Do It For Me Anymore", I would highly recommend this song!

5. Baby You Are

Somehow, I don't even mind the awkward rap section anymore--I've listened to it enough times, just for that gorgeous instrumental, that now I love everything about this song, even against my better judgment.

6. Ride or Die -- Kai

The peak of the Kai album aesthetic, and this whole album was already top-tier aesthetic. It's dark, but like in the way it's dark when I switch off the overhead lights and turn on my tiny lamp before bedtime--it's dark like peace, like rest, like a break from the light. And I guess that break was much-needed, because this album is one of the few I enjoy as a concept & unit, not just as some individual songs--though "Ride or Die" is something special, what with that bass.

7. Stay Up -- Baekhyun feat. Beenzino

Remember what I said about luxury & excess being Baekhyun's vocal style? "Stay Up" is another PERFECT use of his talent--just listening to this song feels like I'm taking a vacation day; or spending a little extra money on something fun; or falling asleep on a weekend night, knowing I don't have to set an alarm for tomorrow. Maybe that isn't luxury to everyone, but for me that feeling is EXQUISITE. Needless to say, I love this song.

8. Wait

A nice little ballad for the winter :)

9. White Noise

This is SUCH a weird song, but the way it totally doesn't work, or only maybe kind of does, is what makes it one of my favorites--it fascinates me in the way Red Velvet's "Cool Hot Sweet Love" does, like it's only barely holding itself together by some kind of magic but it ends up being super awesome anyway?? Also that opening is a CLASSIC.

10. Peaches -- Kai

I might think "Ride or Die" is a better song now, but this is the song that sold me on Kai as an artist. After hearing "Peaches", I understood completely the appeal of a discography based on this aesthetic, atmospheric, soothing music--deep soundscapes and soft, bittersweet melodies. Though "Amnesia" was the first Kai song I liked, "Peaches" is the one I can credit with putting him in my top ten artists list. The vision is so strong in this track, and I'm completely sold.

Honorable Mentions:

Overdose, Call Me Baby, Lucky One, Monster, Lotto, The Eve, Wait, Ya Ya Ya, Cream Soda

Ghost, Cry For Love -- Baekhyun

Amnesia, Vanilla, Domino -- Kai

Morning Star -- Suho

[melye1981]

To Everyone Who Wants To Know What It's Really Like... To Have Mental Illness... Read this:

Hello, today is Freak out Friday. LOL Um, I am mentally ill, I struggle with it daily, have since I quit having Epileptic seizures around age 10. Didn't know I was mentally ill until I was 27. My parents knew there was SOMETHING wrong, but they couldn't pinpoint it. Sent me to several psychologists when I was a kid and they still couldn't put their finger on it. So, clueless psychologists? Yeah, total quacks. Mental illness is not a joke, not somethin' to ignore when people who are mentally ill, are hitting rock bottom. Be there for them. Even if they say the classic "I'm fine" comment, NO. Stay. You could be the reason they DON'T do any self harm, and I mean something else, y'all know what I mean, I guess we're not allowed to say the "s" word on YouTube now, so gotta be careful, but yeah, your willingness to lend an ear could save a life. Literally. You have no idea what hell mental illness truly is, unless you have it yourself. I'm telling you this from the inside, lookin' out... You're seeing it as from the outside, lookin' in. You only see the cover of the book, but you have to be read the pages, and you won't know the story, unless it's read to you. You get what I mean? Every person is different, every mental illness is different, everyone's way of coping is different. Not one mentally ill person's story is gonna match another's. We can empathize, but we can't be them and their shoes. I only know the miles I've walked in MY shoes. I could try to get you to understand, and you might, a little, but unless you have mental illness yourself, you really have no idea of the hell it brings. I once told someone, this is how I describe my bipolar mind/borderline personality mind: Think of that ride at the fair called The Gravitron. You get in, lean up against the walls, and the ride starts. You get spun really fast one direction, and you stick to the wall, and you could injure yourself if you move the wrong way, then the ride slows a bit, then starts going back the other direction. By the time you get off the ride, you can't walk straight. That's the only way I can describe what that feels like. Wikipedia has great insight if you want to know more, but that is by textbook definition, they're not lying, but it's a general explanation. When you get the information from a mentally ill person themselves, that is the God's honest truth. And it's more brutal than Wikipedia makes it out to be. I take meds every day, but I still have days where I'm just not myself. It is part of who I am, but it does not define me. My mental illness is the result of a careless man who gave me his DNA through my mom, to put it more appropriately, while he was high on H. and so that's what I believe contributed to both my mental illness, learning disabilities, and Epilepsy. But I'm grown now, so I have to just swallow the facts like I drink water. I'm still alive, and there is one thing I find that's special about mentally ill people: The majority of mentally ill people have a high I.Q. and are talented in one way or another. So, I can either cry about being mentally ill, or I can embrace it and say, hey, at least I was blessed with music, art, writing, singing, playing instruments, and speaking and singing in foreign languages as an added blessing to my life. I have talents, many of them, I was blessed in that. Now, trying to keep my mental illness in check while exercising those talents is another thing. It's hit or miss sometimes. It's not easy, but I do it. I get up every morning and I'm here. I am not a victim. No sir. I'm a warrior. That's facts. #AquariusThinkLikeThatTho I am also a survivor of a near-fatal "s" attempt. Been ten years since I tried to end it all, and God wants me here for whatever reason. I wouldn't say I'm a curse. I'm here for a reason. It's never gonna be easy. But I make due with what I've got and the tools God and the world have given me. Now to put them to use and stay focused. It's not easy, but I'm doin' it. Gotta prove the devil wrong

[izacore]

What I'm iffy about is Jeff having always been in a position of power over Harry (maybe not literally but at least figuratively). From the moment they met, Jeff was already deep in the manager game and Harry was a potential client. This is not a long standing friendship that was built by two equals with no profit in mind where Jeff turned from friend to friend and manager, this was a business first with an addition of friendship afterwards situation (at least that is how it is presented to the public).

Oh, definitely. Nothing will ever convince me that Jeff wasn't sent by his daddy to try and befriend Harry because they saw a potential gain 🙂 For me it's obvious that this friendship is stemming from the Azoffs' greed. There is just something creepy for me about 26 years old dude being suddenly all over a literal teenager that he "randomly" met.

Let's also not forget, that Fullstop had not existed prior to Harry signing with Jeff and this whole company was built on Harry's back and relevance. The only thing Jeffrey brought to the table were his connections that he had through his dad, because it clearly was not talent.

I know that people love pointing out though how much he has done for H and if it wasn't for him H wouldn't be where he is because the Azoffs are soooo powerful and connected but it always baffles me because somehow this powerful family with so much influence on the industry (Irving literally holds the entertainment industry in the palm of his hand) cannot go against it and has to play according to its rules. So of course it's okay Jeff keeps finding new trashy women to beard for Harry - that's what Harry needs. Of course they keep pushing Harry's womanizer and sex symbol image - they have their hands tied, nothing can be done about it. Harry looks visibly exhausted by stunting, surely they could cut it short? Can't have that, let's play besties with the most disgusting woman they put around him ever. I guess what I am trying to say is, that if this family can threaten Sony because their privileged asses wanted to watch some film earlier than the rest of the mere mortals, they could for sure find a way to have Harry be his true self AND STILL make him successful. But for that you have to take a risk and put your client's happiness above your gains, right?

That's why Harry affirming his friendship with Jeff last night made so sad and disappointed - I just don't want to believe he supports these terrible people who regularly scam and exploit his fans while treating them like trash. Like I said, if he is genuinely best friends with his manager whose family rules the industry, then it's heartbreaking for me that some of the ways the fans are being used for couldn't have been avoided (ticket prices, merch quality etc.). I guess expecting the bare minimum in some cases can still be having too high expectations and that's something I have to come to terms with on my own.

[swordofpevensie]

As I've seen it again, here are my favorite things about Prince Caspian (2008):

warnings: It is a very long post and I can't help but swear sometimes.

• How Caspian is confused all the time.

• Prefossor: “Don't use that until you really need to use it.”

Caspian: *Uses it the first time he is in danger.* Good job boy, good job.

• “Phyllis.” “SUSAN!” (Lucy does the same thing in tvodt *emotional voices*)

• That disappinted look in Susan's eyes when she sees Peter fighting, and they way she doesn't do anything to help him. Like girl they are beating your brother??

• Edmund comes and saves Peter by simply jumping on everyone who is trying to hurt Peter. We love a clever and quick boi™

• Lucy's little comfort to Peter. *sniffing*

• Peter's iconic hair, that rebel and sassy hair.

• “I'm not touching you!” “I'M NOT HOLDING YOUR HAND!”

• How happy they are at the beach and the way they finally can have pure fun. *more sniffing*

• Narnia is so beautiful in summer and Pevensies look so beautiful too.

• And for my own please, I'll mention how beautiful Peter looks when he is playing in the sea and walking among the ruins.

• The way Lucy holds Peter's hand to show him the way and THE TORCH SCENE GETS ME EVERYTIME.

• Everyone is like where the hell are we and Lucy is just enjoying her apple.

• And again for my own pleasure, I'll mention how beautiful Susan looks.

• “wHiCh cHeSs sEt?” “whOt?” We love a one confused king.

• That shot when they all stand in their places in the ruins and Peter says “Cair Paravel.” I'm like YES SIR I'M READY TO SACRIFICE MY WHOLE LIFE FOR YOU.

• I'm lowkey attracted to General Glozelle. (shameful sniffing)

• I like it that Edmund is the first one to figure out what might have happened to Cair Paravel. And our confused king is again like “whOt?”

• C'mon Peter is very committed to make a torch and it is SO CUTE. And Edmund watching him is so funny, he is like ‘I'm about to end this man's whole career.’

• I'll not tell my thoughts on the time Peter takes his sword. I'm trying to be a good. *choughs*

• Boom! “Drop him!” YOUR QUEEN IS BACK YOU IDIOTS! OOOH HOW I LOVE SUSAN.

• Peter jumping to the water and Lucy using his dagger to cut the ropes.

• “High King Peter, the Magnificent.” I mean if I were magnificent just like him, I'd tell it loud very frequently too.

• Edmund using sword... 10/10 His final pose 20/10. *chefs kiss and sniffing*

• “Or do I have to sit on your head again?” Narnians and humor? Count me in!

• Caspian's accent... YES SIR.

• “I'm Prince Caspian... The tenth.” and “High King Peter, The Magnificent.” are cousins and you can't tell me otherwise.

• “Running away.” Oh just come into my arms you sad and broken boi. *too many sniffings*

• Proffesor inside: Eheheh they are back. You are a dead man now Miraz.

• That underwater shot... 10/10. Peter paddling... 10/10. All of them sitting in silent, sadly... Okay this one hurts A LOT.

• “We didn't mean to leave you know.” *no more sniffing i'm crying*

• Lucy greeting and trusting in a bear is me vs. life. Susan saying a bear to stay away from Lucy is me vs. life again.

• Peter helping Lucy to stand up and her hugging Peter for comfort.

• And that bear scene is very clever to me. It shows that those bad times have an effect on everyone. How even Narnians, kind, gentle, happy Narnians turned into wild creatures because of bad times. Also Susan not killing the bear immediately shows how gentle she is and she always gives a chance.

• “I can hear you.” We love a done™ prince. And him asking questions about Narnia is so cute!

• That zoom to Caspian's face is kiLLING ME.

• AND REEPICHEEP I'd kill and die for him unless he kills and dies for me first.

• CENTAURS ARE BACK!!! Oh I love them so much.

• “You can't carry a map in your heads.” “That's because we have something in them.” LUCY DIDN'T STUTTER.

• “i'M nOt lOst.” My baby tries so hard I love him bye.

• “OH SHUT UP!” is one of my favorite Peter lines. Also he is very sassy and why is no one talking about it?? (I'll talk about it later btw, eheh)

• IF SOMEONE BELIEVED AND LISTENED TO LUCY THE FIRST TIME SHE SPEAKS, THINGS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER AND EASIER FOR ASLAN'S SAKE.

• And Edmund supporting Lucy? We love a supportive and cute brother.

• Caspian is so brave and the speech he gives... *CHEFS KISS* I mean I would fight and die for him too. And when Narnians believe in him, I cry even more. (++Ben Barnes' voice in that accent... Gets me every freaking time).

• The look in Peter's face when he sees the making of the bridge. He is like “Not my kingdom, you bitches!”

• The conversaion between Lucy and Susan... I hate to think their struggles, adjusting to Narnia, adjusting to England.

• Lucy telling a tree to wake up is me vs. life, again.

• The way Peter just comes and hides her out of nowhere... WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE BROTHER.

• When Caspian and Peter fights... Okay, for your safety I'll shut up but the way Peter is ready to hit him with a rock is both funny and shows how a quick and smart fighter he is.

• “PETAH!” Okay Susan, we get it honey.

• “Well if you like, we can come back in a few years.” LIKE WHY IS NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT HIS SASS??

• “You were right to fear the woods.” IS. EXCELLENT.

• Caspian and Peter walking in the front and talking casually. My heart goes *butterlifes* *looove*

• When the papa centaur rises baby centaur's sword... *a loud sniff* .

• I love that there are pictures of Pevensies and Golden Age on the walls. It makes me feel so majestic.

• Caspian: *dramatically lights fire*

• They are looking at The Stone Table and Caspian in the back is like look at the mess you made.

• When Peter and Caspian talk at the same time.

• “There is always a first time.” THAT. SASS. AND CONFIDENCE.

• “We could collect nuts!” “Yes, and throw them at Telmarines!” Reepicheep... Love you babe.

• Okay the whole castle stuff is so freaking cool until the last minutes. Like Edmund and his torch, Susan and THE WAY HE KILLS A MAN BY THROWING AN ARROW.

• But... Caspian babe, kill your bastard uncle anyways.

• And it just should be said: I love how Narnians are always ready to sacrifice themselves because freedom is much more important than their lives. They are not afraid of death as long as it means to get freedom back.

• That poor cat... I don't know what to say.

• You are attacking a castle and your baby Caspian just casually knocks the window.

• Professor doing his best to help Caspian escape and then seeing him back in the castle again... I mean a disappointment level I can relate.

• I wish I could be woken up at night by Caspian, with a sword on my throat? Depends on my mood.

• Miraz being so done is a mood.

• They all are in Miraz's bedroom like:

• Edmund literally headbutts a man wearing a metal helmet. I am speechless.

• You don't have sword? Don't worry you have a torch... just don't break it.

• Reepicheep and his friends pushing that thing makes me cry and scream.

• “Who exactly are you doing this for Peter?” THE LOOK ON PETER'S FACE.

• When Peter screams “FOR NARNIA!”

• My Queen Susan throwing an arrow to man and killing him despite his armour. I. LOVE. ONE. POWERFUL. QUEEN.

• Sometimes I wish I was an minatour.

• Edmund kicking that dude's head by sliding. A simple and powerful move.

• OKAY SO MIRAZ PUSHING THIS MINATOUR IS VERY PERSONAL TO ME. AND I AM VERY PISSED OF.

• And that minatour holding the door. I love you, you strong and scary baby. And I always will.

• When Edmund casually jumps back, I hear Blow Your Mind by Dua Lipa playing.

• That moment when other Narnians are trapped inside and Peter and Susan watch them... MY BABY PETER HAVE HAD ENOUGH PLEASE LET HIM REST. And Edmund seeing the dead bodies...

• That agressive “HEY!” from Caspian and the way Peter and him just scream at each other, idk what to say but it is sort of funny.

• When mama centaur cries, you know I'm dead on the floor.

• King Miraz getting on his throne... Sassy and majestic af. He is a psycho but you know he has taste.

• “What do you want? Congratulations?” Okay Caspian put that sarcasm down babe.

• When my mom watched the scene where The White Witch sort of comes back for the first time, she was like “Not that bitch witch again.”

• The way Peter pushes Caspian is skcjskfsj MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY

• And Edmund killing the wolfish thing is so cool, he is a very talented warrior. Also him stabbing Jadis, he gives like zero fucks.

• And when the ice is broken, they see Aslan on the wall and it is such a strong scene!!

• Can someone please explain me why Miraz and his men wear those freaking helmets?

• “And she won't be alone.” WE. LOVE. ONE. SUPPORTIVE. AND PROTECTIVE. SISTER.

• No, Caspian you may not, no matter how hot you say Miraz.

• Edmund in Miraz's place... Just perfect. That sass, that confidence, that intelligence. THAT look on his face.

• “Your brother's sword is sharper than his pen.” It is an adage in Turkish btw: “A pen is sharper than a sword.”

• “Or hooves.” Lucy, was that joke really necessary honey?

• THE LOVE OF MY LOVE AND MY ONE TRUE LOVE PETER SAYING “WELL, FEEL FREE.” AND “JUST. ONE.” WITH A BRAVE LOOK ON HIS FACE IS THE CAUSE OF MY DEATH.

• Queen Susan standing on her own, holding her bow to hunt men... YES. QUEEN.

• Proud brother™ Edmund.

• The way Peter snarls at Miraz. I mean I WOULD SURRENDER TO HIM.

• AND MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR PRAISING WILLIAM'S ACTING? He fights amazing and his expressions are both beautiful and real. He makes you feel what Peter feels. I just love the way he portrays Peter.

• “Keep smiling.” King Edmund just knows things.

• And the way he just doesn't listen Peter and fixes his arm... 10/10

• When he hits Miraz's wound. He is a smart fighter, and I'll not even bring up how he stabs Miraz.

• “It's not mine to take.” Me inside: *MINE IS YOURS TO TAKE.*

• Caspian just stop screaming and kill this bitch for Aslan's sake.

• “Not one like you.” WITH TEARS ON HIS BEAUTIFUL BLACK EYES. I HATE HIM SOMETIMES.

• Although I hate that they have to fight again, what the Lord did was really smart, I have to admit.

• Have I told you that I hate that ball-throwing-machines?

• Queen Susan telling archers to get ready and Prince Caspian telling “Narnians, attack!” while riding his horse. ALSO WHAT THEY DID WAS SO CLEVER. PETER COUNTING WITH THAT BRAVE FACE.

• My baby Peter fighting again. And Caspian coming out of the underground. *CHEFS KISSES*

• KING EDMUND RIDING A HORSE AND ARROWING PEOPLE?? MORE CHEFS KISSES.

• Reepicheep's tiny armour OMG

• I HATE THAT BALL-THROWING-MACHINES.

• When they all run again (Not to mention Peter has to attack and fight like for like the hundredth time) THEY LOOK FREAKING GOOD AND MAJESTIC AND KING EDMUND CUTTING MEN IS PER.FECT.

• I AM IN STRONG NEED OF HUGHING AN ASLAN.

• THE TREES ARE COMING BACK HELL FREAKING YESSS!!!

• Queen Susan killing with this bows and arrow is just perfect. I love her. Like so much.

• Ooh there is shield wall? Don't worry Narnians will jump on it.

• Peter proudly saying “Lucy,” and looking at Caspian like “Hehe did you expect that?”

• And my baby yells “For Aslan!” and goes to fight. AGAIN.

• Lucy and her dagger? FREAKING DANGEROUS. RUN AWAY.

• Welcome water grandpa, you are very cute!!!

• Aslan is like hehe this is my friend. He is very proud of his friend.

• The guilt on their faces when they see Aslan is so cute.

• “All of you.” SHUT UP YOU MADE ME CRY AGAIN.

• OH AND REEPICHEEP. PLEASE I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH. HE'S HAD ENOUGH.

• Aslan calling him “Small one.” awWWW

• “Do you see him now?” QUEEN LUCY NEVER STUTTERS.

• Okay but the way they all look perfect during the parade. Caspian's crown and Susan's dress are my favs.

• AND THAT LOOK ON SUSAN'S FACE. IT KILLS ME.

• What the hell is Caspian wearing when Telmars go back?

• There is a talking lion in front of them and Telmarines still are amazed by a turning tree.

• Peter looks so good in blue and him giving his sword to Caspian is awwww again.

• Peter and Susan are the ones who'll not come back again and they both wear blue while Lucy and Ed wears green.

• Peter shaking hands with the centaur is an another awwww.

• The kiss makes me feel weird but I'm alright with that.

• “I'm 1300 years older than you.” is CUTE TO ME.

• Peter's proud brother smile. 10/10

• The way Lucy looks back at Aslan breaks my heart.

• THE ENDING KILLS ME. DESTROYS ME. VANISHES MY EXISTENCE. THAT LION ROAR. THAT SONG. OH HOW I LOVE THIS MOVIE AND NARNIA MOVIES... I AM CRYING AGAIN.

oooh okay, thank you for sharing this emotional roller-coaster with me. i hope you enjoy it.

love, andrea.♡

[topherfoxtrot]

Would you be interested in a deep dive into Tom Roth's character in The Incredible Hulk (2008)? Because that's exactly what's under the cut lmao. Let me guide you ✨✨

So since the Thunderbolts are apparently going to be a thing in the MCU (either with Contessa Valentina or general Ross himself) I've been gathering a fan team of my own based on characters that exist in the MCU already (I even wrote fanfic about it, it's under #Foxtrot Fanfic, wink wink). This led me to watch The Incredible Hulk again because I was literally nine years old when it came out so I don't remember anything about it lol. Yeah I rewatched the movie because of one character. Yes I have a graduation thesis to write. Could you mind your own business?

Anyways when we are introduced to Emil Blonsky he's already all geared up in army uniform. We are told via dialogue that he was born in Russia and raised in England. And that's it. This is literally all backstory we got.

Moving on for his motivation. Emil describes himself as a fighter. Ross comments on how due to his age he could be a major at this point. Emil explains that he refuses to rank up because he enjoys the fight. Honestly? I kinda of relate to that.

Emil and his team are called to arrest Bruce Banner who is currently in Rocinha here in Brasil. All dialogues there are terrible and the whole thing is super problematic and offensive I hate Hollywood. But anyways when Emil and his men catch Bruce, the Hulk comes out and Emil gets a raging boner because Hulk is so powerful ✨✨😩😩😩🥰

I'm not making that up alright? Once Hulk escapes Emil begs Ross for an explanation about who the fuck was that huge and strong green man. Roos sees the sparkle on Emil's eyes (and the bulge on his pants) and decided to show him the super soldier serum he (alongside Bruce himself) were developing. Bruce was not aware of the whole project you see, he thought it was about making humans more resistent to all sorts of radiation, there was nothing on the paper work about making super soldiers lmao. Poor scientists...

Anyways before Emil takes the first (Yeah, first!!) shot of the super soldier serum he looks like this:

Avarage human with slight thirst for power.

After taking the serum he's already faster than the other army folk Ross gathers to catch Bruce. He also does those super soldier jumps that I love so much, but they're not as high as Karli Morgenthau's jumps. Her serum is more refined and modern after all. Emil even has a one on one with the Hulk. The scene looks super cool but it ends up badly for our non green super being.

This is Emil after he takes the first shot. Not as big as Steve but bulked up nonetheless am I right?

Well this is Emil after he fights the Hulk lmaoooo

But don't worry! Thanks to fictional science he looks like THIS a couple hours after. He's not as strong as John or Steve or Bucky or Karli but she surely heals way faster. And most importantly he wakes up wanting a rematch with the Hulk. Because you see being a fighter is literally his whole deal and now that he found the strongest person on the planet he won't stop untill he beats said person. Oh my god I love him so much!!!!!!!!

Anyways Bruce and Betty (zZzZzZ) are running around to find a cure. This leads them to NYC where Tim Blake Nelson works as a biology professor (or something like that, they don't explain much real science in this movie). Before going there Emil looks himself in the mirror and we see this disguising things coming out of his back. He's also sweating a lot like in a fever. The serum has some weird side effects.

It's not clear if Email was destined to become the Abomination and the second shot just rushed the process. Oh haven't I mention? Yeah after Bruce is finally caught and taken to a helicopter Emil gets sad because it was way too easy. He wants a real fight, he wants the Hulk.

Now you know when you're in love and do stupid shit to get your crush's attention? Well that's literally what Emil does. He points a gun at Tim Blake Nelson's head and asks the professor to give him whatever is in Bruce's blood. He agrees and Emil finally looks like the monster from the poster.

I mean I'm not a slut but who knows...

Anyways he and the Hulk finally fight as Emil wanted them to. He's defeated at the end and the movie ends. According to the MCU wiki they put him to sleep in a frozen prison in Alaska. I don't know where that information comes from but I believe it.

Conclusion :

Emil Blonsky is a really simple villain with no backstory or relatives and a single goal: be as strong as you can be. Yet he's super effective as an antagonist. Allegedly he's been sleeping for fifteen years but he's credited in the She Hulk series coming up so we might see him a round once again ^^

Will he be a thunderbolt? Will he get back into human form and go through a redemption arc? Will he be outshined by Tatiana Maslany's talent? Well that's obvious of course he will lol.

[dannyphantom-rewrite]

Character ref for; Jack, Maddie and Jazz,

Art by @gally-hin / @gally-hin-phantom

Okay so first off; in terms of Actual redesign, I didn't change a whole lot. I'm actually very fond of Jack and Maddie's design's, my only real issue was with their proportions. Like...look as a lady person who is also thiCC I do not have a fucking wasp thin waist and I'm sure I'm not the only one, lmao. As for Jack? Godamnit he looked like a brick on toothpicks. Just Let him be a fucking Bara man! Anyway of course I asked Gally to do this one bc they're fucking great at drawing different body types

I also cannot and will not take credit for Jazz's outfit. I didn't have any issue with her canon clothes aside from them being a bit plain, so what she's wearing here was literally pulled straight off of her original concept art, which I will link here.

Anyway, getting to the Actual character lore now, let's start with

Maddie Fenton

-Full name is Madeline (I haven't decided on a maiden name yet)

-Born and raised on a farm in Arkansas, had a southern accent that she trained herself out of in college bc it was just one more reason for people not to take her seriously. Still sometimes uses "y'all" completely unironically bc old habits die hard.

-She has a really big family, and they're proud of her accomplishments but feel like she's wasting her talent studying ghosts, because really, up until the Fenton portal was up and running there wasn't even any solid proof they existed. Her sister Alicia is the one outlier there, and even if she doesn't understand, it she completely supports her.

-She majored in engineering and minored in psychology at Wisconsin EDU. Her, Jack and Vlad were all in the same engineering class, and that's where they met.

-Maddie is particularly interested in how ghosts think, analysing their behavior, their motives. Not only that, but they aren't just dead people with unfinished business, they've built an entire culture in the Ghost Zone that is completely seperate from humanity, and she wants to understand all of it.

-skilled marksman and 9th degree black belt, (which is. The highest fucking level there is holy shit? I looked it up after I saw it on her wiki page.)

Jack Fenton

-He's from Minnesota (Amity park is in Illinois and him and Maddie didn't move there until after they got married) 

-okay, "but why minnesota specifically" you ask? Because. I crave. Foot ball discourse. 

-minnesota vikings vs green bay packers guys do you UNDERSTAND WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS 

-The funny thing is that Jack only watches football casually while Vlad is a fucking die hard so when these two got together to see a game it was like....

-Jack: Here to chill and have a good time.

-Vlad: Primed and ready to start a fist fight at any given moment.

-I am never not going to be salty about how Canon Jack was portrayed like a complete moron 99% percent of the time. Like no...theres a difference between Actual Stupid and ADHD induced dumbass-ery.

-Am I saying Jack Fenton has ADHD? Yes. why? Because I also have ADHD and I have always vibed So Hard with his Character.

-Jack is loud and easily excited about things that interest him. He's impulsive and fidgety and yeah, a bit absent minded. He has a mouth that clearly runs so much faster than his head. His train of thought doesn't get derailed so much as it stops and takes several different detours on the way to it's final destination.

-and that's only the tip of the iceberg, really, I'd need an entire essay to get into this completely, but I just really relate.

-Jacks skill-set / interests regarding ghosts vary a bit from Maddie's, most notably in the sense that he doesn't believe that they're static entities already set in their ways, completely incapable of change.

-Jack majored in engineering and minored in Biology at Wisconsin EDU.

-Jack's work with tech is a bit hit or miss. He definitely HAS the engineering skills, but the intrest isn't always there and he's constantly jumping back and forth between different projects. He tends to focus on the concept work and schematics and leave most of the assembly to Maddie as a result. It's an arrangement that works well for them, and has drastically decreased the number of unintentional explosions in the lab.

-A lot of Jack's work tends to revolve around ghostly biology and Ectoplasm, figuring out how ghosts are made, what makes them tick, what the hell Ectoplasm Actually Is, how it's used as an energy source, ect.

-and yes, that does also mean he handles the dissections.

-See that facial scar? Yeah, that's not actually there at the start of the series rewrite but it's very important for plot reasons so I had to include it. Can't say much more on the subject because SPOILERs owo.

Jasmine Fenton

-Jazz is a 18 years old, and a senior at Casper high.

-Which means she prepping to go away to college and won't be around to keep an eye on Danny.

-Obviously that doesn't mean I'm just writing her out of the story, oh no. Know why? Because she's also gonna go to Wisconsin EDU. ya know who else is in Wisconsin? Fuckin' Vlad.

-Jazz is autistic, Although she passes for neurotypical in part due to symptoms being completely over looked in girls due to gender stereotyping and also the fact that she doesn't have any special interests that are considered " "too weird.""

- Her hyperfixation with psychology started at a young age in an effort to better understand people, and social/emotional cues and all that.

-Jazz is well liked at school but she's not popular or apart of any specific group or clique. She's very kind and compassionate to people, and just about everyone knows her, but you'd be hard pressed to find someone who actually Considered her a friend. Except maybe Spike.

-I'm gonna have to give spike his own Character ref at some point, but he's this scary looking goth kid that's been held back twice. He's actually super sweet, just really fuckin' quiet and anxious. Him and jazz kinda ended up gravitating towards each other. She might do most of the talking, but they look out for each other.

-its not like jazz doesn't try to socialize, but it's difficult and she's found it much easier and less stressful to just. Keep to herself and let her interactions with her peers stay shallow and superficial. Sure, it's lonely sometimes but it's better than constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making some other misstep.

-One of Jazz's other special interests is football, and it's not so much the players or the game as it is the strategy of it? Started out as one of those things you do to bond with your dad, and she ended up getting really into it.

-She absolutley winds up getting into stupidly intense discussions with Vlad about it, too, lmao.

-Her and Danny probably bonded over SBNation bc that shit has both sentient satellites and ridiculously complex football mechanics.

-She's completely oblivious to the fact, but Dash has a massive crush on her bc holy shit this girl understands football (hey bud your toxic masculinity is showing put that shit away)

-I mentioned that Danny was in Cheer for a bit in middle school so it makes sense that she'd also be pushed into doing some kind of extracurricular activity.....so.....she was in a martial arts class for a bit thanks to Maddie and has a good grasp on self defense.

I think that's everything? I feel like I'm leaving things out tho? Idk if I did I'll come back and add on to this later and also pls don't hesitate to ask questions bc it really helps me flesh things out better.

[adamsvanrhijn]

@thismoleculeisacomedian

wait what is your opinion? Do you think he hated himself for being gay? (I disagree w/ that viewpoint, but would like to understand what it is & where it comes from.)

I definitely don't think Thomas hates himself for being gay — at any point in the series. I also don't think he ever moves away, internally, from "I am not the same as you, but I am not foul". I have seen people say that what happens in S5 is an indication of that and I completely disagree.

However.

I do think Thomas has low self-esteem for essentially the duration of the series, and I think he experiences self-hatred that is complicated by the fact that he is gay, surrounded by homophobia, and almost certainly a victim of complex trauma (also related to homophobia).

Thomas is confident in one thing over the course of the entire series, and this is his exceptional competence at work. He recognizes his own worth and takes pride in his actual value, which I think he actually sees very objectively. (Facebook moms, etc, do not agree with me here.) Wherever possible he makes himself indispensable, and it is in my opinion literally something he clings to as a reason to live.

(I also think he cares deeply about and, until S2/S3, has confidence in, his physical appearance. But that is a different piece.)

One of his most basic psychological needs is to be needed, and as part of this, to be contributing to something larger than him and to be essential to its functioning.

Literally in the very first episode of the entire series, we see that he is recognizing he may not have a place at Downton at all, and if he does, it isn't a place where he is valued and appreciated. This is a psychological threat—time and time again after this, we see him start to lose his head at the idea of instability.

How does he react?

By trying to make himself necessary elsewhere.

The amount of birds he is trying to get with one stone—

Give something that is necessary & desired to a man he loves

Resolve an issue at his workplace (I don't think he thought about this much but I do think it would have crossed his mind)

Escape a place he is not valued

Move upward in his current social hierarchy (domestic service)

To a job he is skilled at and enjoys

The job itself is providing essential service to the life & functioning of another human person

That human person is his lover, thereby fulfilling a different emotional need (his and said lover's)

And even when he is almost certainly set on running off into the sunset with the Duke, he still jumps at the chance to prove his worth when Bates goes, because that's just how he functions.

Like, in terms of the relationship specifically, he is trying to solve the financial problems of the Duke's estate AND become the person responsible for his daily care & keeping AND establish a safe way for them to be lovers For Ever And Ever—where he can then emotionally & sexually fulfill him on top of the physical, mental, financial and societal (having a valet as social status but also as the person who arranges pretty much everything for you and keeps you up with appearances) and needs he would be meeting.

CLINGY MUCH?

And then as soon as it starts going south his tactic is:

Look at how bad I want it

Look at how good of a valet I am

(You promised!)

Look at how good of a lover I am

Look at how much I know & care about you

Except then—

{clear internal chaos}

I do not care about this in terms of you at all, your needs never meant anything to me, this was just about me and I'm not the vulnerable one here, you are

But what is blackmail?

Blackmail is when you threaten another person with exposure of private/secret information to get something out of them.

The idea is that the victim will fear losing social standing or facing legal consequences enough to provide whatever that something is—and it can leave long-lasting damage regardless of the length of the extortion itself, because the victim has a psychological, and it follows, social & physical need, to maintain their current life sans embarrassment or like, a criminal record. Even a threat itself that cannot be carried out is damaging, because it makes the victim aware of the possibility.

The victim has to rely on and trust the blackmailer (that they will keep their word) while also fulfilling their own demands. Indefinitely, or even like, forever. Control freak much? Etc.

"smithensy when the fuck are you answering the actual question" PROBABLY NEVER

It's also a common event with relationships resembling theirs, so it's bound to be the first thing to come to mind! And he came up with it in the moment and clearly regretted it like, immediately!

Absolutely! Agree!

...except that he does it again.

And then again.

The second time, he is actually reluctant! He knows in what way he has been trusted and he knows what need he is fulfiing! And he really doesn't want to break that trust and stop fulfilling that need, even though his own needs have been intentionally torn to shreds!

But the next time he does it it is intentional. It is not split second and it is not against someone who has severely harmed him and brought the threat of ruin over his head. He takes it really fucking seriously, to the point of neuroticism, and he constantly reminds that person that she needs him—and although Baxter has to be liked for his requirement to stay in the know, I think there is also a vicarious element. He is giving her everything she needs to become indispensable. He's doing it while also holding the one thing that could ruin it over her head, yes, but he is also using her as like, a way of validating his own understanding of the house and who lives in it and what they require.

Anyway.

There are many points in his arc in the series where someone prone to depression and suicidality could be driven to attempt suicide. I can think of like, five off the top of my head.

But when he does, the breaking point is that he sees himself as unvalued and unnecessary—in essentially every area of his life, but especially his job and industry, which as above is really the only thing he never wavers in.

And he still doesn't waver in the work itself, necessarily. His problem is not that he is no longer skilled at his work, or that he can't meet his own expectations. It's that the job itself is surplus. It doesn't matter how good he is anymore; it doesn't matter how perfect he is. He has no control over it and it is the final straw for someone who has been fighting for scraps of agency for his entire life and only managing to have them through self-harm (see series 2).

I do not think Thomas sees himself as Enough. That is why he strives for perfection—if he is Good, and Skilled, and Talented, and he is needed, that is almost like being loved.

And by working his ass off and keeping the expectations of others around him low, forcing a poor opinion of himself, he is putting himself in a position where even if he isn't able to give it his all, his 70% or 60% or 40% is still better than what all these other people are capable of at 110%, so even if he is disliked and looked down upon and nobody wants him around, well, they have to keep him anyway because he is That Good and things will fall apart without him—

—and if it doesn't work and he has to go well then at least they'll be sorry when everything is ruined and he is irreplacable!

Aaaaaand he's thrusting himself into isolation and shooting himself in the foot.

The self-hatred piece is knowing that no matter what he does he will not be Enough, that there is just something missing. One piece is out of his control but he can never successfully work around it, so he can never have what he wants. The lack of success is what is driving the inward resentment. He has a lot of regret and guilt and he blames himself for every single action he takes that results even slightly in a loss of dignity. Again we see this in the first episode but also, like, the entirety of series 2, 3, 5 and 6 have this thread weaving in and out. When being mean and externalizing his blame doesn't work or make him feel better he turns it around.

The S5 plotline is more to do with having something than getting rid of something. If he can just have this one thing it will make everything else go away; it is the key to Being Enough.

And then in the cottage hospital he is immediately lashing out at and blaming himself for bothering to want that, let alone to try it.

Baxter is right, though! His tolerance for pain and suffering in the pursuit of fulfilling his own needs is extremely high and he seems determined to push it.

People who have lots of self-love and self-respect do not constantly punish themselves.

I have been writing this post for two hours and I don't think it makes much sense. I am going to make dinner now.

[nervousmendes]

Canada - Shawn Mendes

Word Count: 2.4k words (fluff)

Warnings: No warnings, just extreme fluff and emotions

A/N: Writer AU based on the song Canada by Lauv ft Alessia Cara. She loves her life in LA but a new opportunity opens her eyes to a new beginning so she needs to figure out what she wants and get Shawn on board with it.

Anyone living in Hollywood knew that LA in the middle of March is not the best time to forget to pull the blinds before going to bed. Scolding herself, she turned around in an attempt to keep the sunlight away from her eyes, feeling Shawn's breath fan her face when she turned towards him. She opened her eyes and she couldn't help but smile with admiration for the man who was asleep with her in his arms. Her hand absent-mindedly went to the soft, brown curls that covered his closed eyes. She brushed them behind and grabbed a few locks in her hand gently, making him let out a sleepy groan. She crooked her neck slightly upward to softly brush her lips against his and when an involuntary hum came from his mouth she had to laugh at how much he enjoyed it even though he was fast asleep. 

Waking up in his arms with the sun lighting up their skin was something that she wasn't blessed enough to enjoy often. And she couldn't really do much but simply blame the fact that they both loved their professional lives, and wouldn't give up any part of finally getting to live their dreams for the sake of their relationship. Of course she hated the distance, and so did he. There were nights when they would miserably miss each other, and while of course they had the little technology they knew to see each other's faces and blow kisses via FaceTime, they wouldn't get the feverish touch of each other's skin that they craved, the endless kisses or the warmth of being in each other's presence that they both yearned for after a long, tiring day. Their only solution to balancing everything out was to make the best of the time they got with each other every now and then, and so, he got used to flying back on days off and she came to terms with taking surprise flights to go give her boyfriend a good luck kiss before he jammed out on stage whenever her job kept her free. Not to forget that it didn't really always pan out well with the mess of the schedules that they both worked on but nevertheless, they never stopped giving their relationship their all because no matter how hard it got sometimes, love is a magical thing that always overpowered everything else, so somehow it would all just work out in the end.

She sighed in content as she snuggled closer to Shawn, her hair softly tickling his chin. She looked up at him once again, and kissed him this time not giving a care for whether he was awake or not. The feeling of her lips on his woke him up, and she cringed at herself when he stirred, eyes fluttering open.

"Someone seems a little too impatient this morning, eh?" She smiled on hearing his morning raspy voice and pushed away the thought of not having it the next day. His eyes were half closed and his curls were a mess but she still didn't miss the twinkle in his eyes when he smiled down at her. It was now his turn to peck her lips, and as they met his mouth, he pulled her closer and swiftly lifted her off the bed and had her sit right on his stomach, hands splayed across his chest. 

"Says you, who couldn't wait till I was done with my phone call last night." Her cheeks heated up and he had a smug smile on his face as they both reminisced their shenanigans from the previous night, the way his fingers worked their way under her lacy underwear while she was engrossed in discussing something work related with her colleague.

The thought of work (and sex, but she can think about that later) reminded her of the email she received three days ago, the morning Shawn had returned from tour. It was about a job offer in Toronto to be an editor for a well established magazine. He knew she had applied for the position, in fact he was the one who pushed her to when she kept complaining about how it would be impossible to actually get it. She did want to talk to him about the offer, but only after she knew for sure whether she was ready for a big change or not. And after a lot of thinking she figured that the opportunity would open so many new doors for her to grow and establish herself. She loved her work in LA but she had to admit that it was monotonous and there was nothing new for her to learn from drafting those articles anymore. With the new job she could also be closer to her family, and at the end of the day Toronto is where Shawn's home is too, not that it was really a deciding factor but she still considered it. She never thought she'd be one to make career decisions based on her relationship. She grew up with the idea of being an independent, self sufficient and confident woman who stood on her own two feet with her head held high. But love came in the way, consumed her. He consumed her, gave her his all, and literally breathed for her. And it would only be a big, fat, shameful lie if she said that it wasn't the same for her with him.

So now here she was, sitting on his pretty tummy with her mind lost in thought, trying to find the right moment to bring up that goddamn email with the most luring offer she'd ever gotten since the beginning of her career. She didn't want to upset him by saying she wanted to move, but she needed to talk about it. She knew in her heart that the job fit her needs and her dreams. She knew it was the right place to go to, and no matter how convenient living in LA made her relationship with Shawn, it was high time she gave herself the opportunity to grow. And who was she kidding, she wouldn't ever find anyone more supportive than him no matter how hard she tried, so yes, she knew it would practically take nothing for Shawn to support her with this decision, but the fact that she'd have to do it by that night before he we went back on the road did give her a good amount of stress.

"Baby, is everything okay? You haven't registered a single word I said." 

His fingers resting on her waist drew small soothing circles on her skin as he pulled her closer to him, craning his neck up to meet her halfway and leave comforting kisses, the first to her lips and the second on the tip of her nose. She gave him a small smile that anyone would gladly accept, but Shawn being Shawn knew it was half-assed and could see the worry roaming behind her beautiful eyes. 

"So is this the part where you tell me what's wrong or do I have to ask again?"

There was no avoiding it anymore, she had to talk about it. She slid off his frame and sat down, pulling her legs close to her chest. The sudden change in her demeanor caused Shawn to straighten up against the headboard and face her. She saw the lines his concern drew on his forehead and before even she could reach her hand out to smoothen them his big paws engulfed her tiny, warm ones, fingers carefully lacing into hers. 

"Now spill, I'm listening." His reassuring smile that came after was enough to get the conversation started.

"Okay." She dragged, not knowing where to begin. His patient eyes didn't leave hers for even just a second as she reminded him of the application she made the first time and then told him about the offer, the position, the work she'd be doing and how it seemed a lot more interesting when compared to what she was doing at the moment. Shawn was always a good listener, and just like every other time, he paid attention to every detail and didn't cut her off a single time so that she could fully pour out how she felt about everything. She told him the whole story and finally let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in for that long.

"So yeah, that's what's up. I love the offer but I'm scared about moving and I don't know if it's the right thing to do."

"Okay first of all, I'm so proud of you, love. I can't ever say this enough but I am literally" a kiss to her lips, "sooo proud of you. I knew you'd get it, you are the most talented writer I know, and I mean that with my entire being." It was funny how even after more than a year of being with him she still giggled and blushed at his compliments like a kid in high school. 

"What does your heart say?" 

"My heart says I should take the leap and try something new. This is probably what I've always wanted in terms of my career. But I think-"

"No 'buts' baby. If this is what you want, you should go for it. What's stopping you?" 

"This. Us. Me being in LA makes it so easy for us, we always get to see each other a lot more because at the end of the day this is where we both work. And yes we're both Canadian but let's face it, how often do we actually visit home?" The crack in her voice at the end gave her away and her glossy eyes fell to their intertwined hands, tears threatening to spill out.

"Hey, look at me. Look right at me." He now had his hands pressed against her cheeks and he lifted her face up so she could meet his gaze.

"We can make this work no matter where you go. You could be in fucking space and I will still love you just as much as I do right now. I love you so much, but you will never hold yourself back for the sake of our distance. Not under my watch. Okay?" And that was all it took for the tears to tumble down her face, except for that they ended up being happy ones.

"I love you so much, Shawn."

"And I love you more."

Her hands went to either side of his neck and he pulled her closer as her soft, pink lips connected with his. He pushed his tongue against hers and kissed her back with everything he had. His neck tilted sideways to give her a better angle, their mouths doing a patterned choreography that they knew all too well. He ended it with one wet kiss square on her lips, the smooching sound making her giggle loudly. They stayed that way, foreheads touching each other's, her hands, one around his neck and the other grabbing his hair, and his arms wrapped around her tiny frame pressed against his chest. This was all they ever wanted, young and in love, staying in bed an hour after they woke up, silly kisses and even sillier I love you's. It was perfect. 

"So there's something I've been keeping secret for a while because I wanted to wait till the end of tour. But right now feels like the perfect moment to tell you. Also the fact that I don't think I can keep it in anymore, but that's secondary." 

"Go on." She nodded, sitting back down while smiling at him.

"I did a lot of thinking and I realised that the end of four albums and four tours is a good time to take a much needed break and live a little normal life." He made air quotes on 'normal'. "And it would also make more time for me to spend with you. We deserve to have a normal relationship too, you know?"

"Shawn I'm so glad you realise you need a break."

"Wait I'm not done yet, here's the best part. The condo in Toronto is dull and empty, so... I'm coming with you to Toronto. I'll be there as soon as I'm done with tour " He smiled at her.

"Shawn, you don't have to! You have so much going on for you over here."

"No, I want to. I'll stay for however long, record the next album over there whenever I feel like it, but I'm going to be right there. I'll be there after a long day of work to give you back rubs, I'll be there to cook you some pasta, give you endless cuddles, keep you up on a weeknight for.. you know what." He had to add a little wink in there. "Point is, I love you and I love my job but I need a break from it to love you and myself a little more. And there is nothing in the world that I want more than that right now. So yes, I'm coming with you to Toronto."

She was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to say. The wide smile pasted on her lips and the tears in her eyes told Shawn more than her words could ever. Not knowing how to react, she plunged into his arms with a shriek and he let out a loud laugh as his back hit the mattress, her body going down with his.

"This is really happening." She breathed out, feeling his lips press a kiss to the crown of her head. His fingers stroked her hair and their smiles didn't seem to fade for what felt like hours. She could already imagine going to see her parents or his on weekends, build forts for movie night, reconnect with their old friends and relatives, get to take Karen's dog on walks, house parties, everything. Just the mere picture of their life in Toronto was enough to fill her with a buzz of endorphins. It felt so right. It suddenly felt like her life was pieced back together. She was going to live the life of her dreams, this time with the man of her dreams. It felt perfect.

"So.. Canada, huh?"

"Canada it is." 

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taglist : @theregoesmyherojd @shawnmendez @madatmendes @mendesficsxbombay @samaratheweirdo @mendesassemble @vinylmendes

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This is only my third fanfic and I'm still learning, so I hope you liked it. You can take a look at my masterlist for my other works right here. If you have any feedback or tips please feel free to tell me, it would be very much appreciated as I'm still new to this x

-sah

[aizawa-needs-coffee]

Hi!! Could I have a matchup please? I'm 18, pronouns she/her, I'm fine w any gender though I have a preference for males

If its of any relevance, physically I'm about 5'8 tall and on the chubby side, green eyes, brown hair (with blonde streaks) and I wear glasses

If you're into astrology/ mbti, I am a Sagittarius w both moon and rising in Cancer and I'm INFP

So I'm quite emotional lol. Usually very in touch with my emotions and quite perceptive of other's feelings as well. I have a huge saviours complex especially when it comes to feelings (i love helping others figure out their feelings, being a shoulder to cry on or even offering comforting hugs) but I try my best to keep it control cause I don't wanna be suffocating

On the outside I'd say I'm fairly organized, I keep my room clean and all of that, I'm a lil bit of a perfectionist but mentally I'm all over the place. I tend to get carried away by thoughts and emotions and end up procrastinating a lot; anxiety makes it all worse. In short, I suck at time management

To most people I may seem quiet and reserved but I actually really enjoy talking to people; I'm really insecure about not being funny or interesting enough tho. Around my friends I'm more relaxed but still have moments of self doubt

I can also be quite obsessive. If something really catches my interest I won't stop until I search all there is to know about it. For example I watched bnha, read the manga, the spin offs etc all in less than a month and now I'm indulging in fanart and fanfics because I need m o r e c o n t e n t hsbsb. I'm also that kind of person that listens to a new song they like on repeat until they hate it. Speaking of music, I can't say I have a taste lol. My fave genres are rock, pop and indie but I hear smth I like, I listen to it, whether its "high quality" music, basic or weird. Lately I've been listening to a lot of epicore which is literally the type of music thats used in fantasy and sci fi movies askfkdk

I like expressing myself through writing, singing and dancing but I really can't say I'm talented at either of those, it's all in good fun. I also enjoy reading (fiction, non-fic books bore me like hell; my fave genres are fantasy, sci fi and crime) but I haaate literature in school. I'm actually a bit of a math nerd and this year I'm starting uni, studying computer science!! Oh! I've also taken drama classes for 2 years (despite the fear I loved being on stage and plan on starting again once I'm done w the baccalaureate), I love playing D&D and while I woulnd't quite call myself a gamer, I love role playing video games. I'm also almost always down for any kind of multiplayer video games w friends although I have no experience

I'm not a sportive person, I go on walks or do a few exercises every now and then at home but I'm willing to try stuff out like a new sport or going to the gym w an s/o. I do plan on starting self defense classes soon and maybe taking up sword fighting (I love swords hehe)

Tbh I've never been in a relationship so I'm not really sure how I would act w an s/o, nor what I'm exactly looking for. I best express my affection through physical touch tho and that includes my friends so I'd like someone who isn't bothered or can get used to that (s/o would still receive the most hugs/ cuddles etc). I'm not that comfortable w the other love languages for friends and family, but I think I'd be a lot more eager to express my love through them for s/o. If I'm on the receiving end, my weakness is still physical touch :)) but I also need words of affirmation every now and then cause insecurities 🌠 and while I wouldn't ask for anything, especially objects, I am a hoarder and I'd keep any kind of gift like its a national treasure simply bc its from someone I love.

In addition, it doesn't really matter if s/o is more on the emotional or rational side a long as they dont invalidate my feelings; it angers me a lot and makes me feel even more insecure. I tend to isolate when I'm really really upset about something so I need a lil bit of pushing to talk abt it; I'm open to talk abt my feelings but I need the verbal confirmation that they care and wanna help, its not just cause they're being nice

Wow that is a lot of rambling jeez ajsjsjs sorry. Thank you so much if you've read throught that all and ty for the match up!!

Me and my wife literally having a ten minute debate on who we’d pair you with before I made my choice. Thanks for all the details and I hope you enjoy the match up!

I match you with Sero

I feel he’s outgoing and extroverted enough to help you with your anxiety and always reassure you that you are good at things and he does love you, he’s also so chill and laid back that even if you were clingy he’d not mind, he’d embrace it, his chill nature would help balance you. He would help you feel grounded and have a ‘you don’t have to do it all now’ attitude but would happily help you out. You need help going to the store? He remembers the list you wrote, having trouble fitting in lunch while you study? He’ll come to your door with pizza.

He’s determined and outgoing but isn’t aggressively positive and loud either which I think is why I picked him over Kirishima for you.

+++

“Hey babe, whatcha reading?” Sero asked sitting next to you on the sofa, he handed you a soda which you gratefully took, not looking up from your laptop screen.

As soon as he was sat down comfortably your hand grabbed his, clasping your fingers together as you managed to tear your gaze away from the Wikipedia page which was still open. You blinked up at him and shook your head.

“Oh just something I learned about today and wanted to do some.. extra reading” you explained.

He nodded his head and drank his soda watching as your face lit up as you started to ramble about the topic, he didn’t really know much about it but the way you told him about everything, the way you happily expressed your interest towards the topic made him happy. He gave you his big grin when you finished.

“Sorry, I rambled..” You felt bad, you always felt nervous when you info dumped on people.

“Nah, it’s cool, I didn’t mind at all” he brought your hand up to his face and gave it a kiss, your face flushed at the gentle gesture which caused Sero to laugh playfully.

“Well, if your sure… I just wanted something to take my mind off chores”.

“It’s the weekend, you don’t have to rush anyway.. and if you don’t feel better by tomorrow I can help, you can wash the dishes and I’ll dry?” he suggested still peppering kisses on the back of your hand before you set your laptop down and crawled closer to him.

You nodded softly, that sounded a lot more manageable, you felt your anxiety settle down from a raging nagging feeling to something easier to tolerate. He was such a good influence on you. Sero set down his drink and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest.

“The guys want to come over and say hi later, maybe get pizza… but I can tell them not tonight if you aren’t feeling it… maybe you can play that new game you got? I liked watching you play the other night” He suggested as he nuzzled your head, enjoying how your hair felt on his face.

“Maybe… can I give you an answer later?”

“Yeah, no rush babe”

You smiled softly feeling the lanky boy kiss the side of your head and listened as you carried on talking about the trivia of your current interest.

[julies-butterflies]

Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.

God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.

What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can

Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.

Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.

Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.

I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.

Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D

Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.

(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)

I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.

I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.

And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.

This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)

Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D

-Vampire Anon

Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!

And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?

Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.

Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.

I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.

I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.

Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.

Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.

You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.

Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...

What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.

How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?

And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?

(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)

[binickandros]

i'm sorry to be bothering you with this but you're like the most active blog with the stand content, and i like your opinions. but i'm here just to vent, cause i was so fucking disappointed at the show and i actively decided "you know what i'm just gonna pretend it never happened and go on with life", but i can't. not a day goes by that i don't feel extremely mad or that i do not check on the stand tag on tumblr to check other people's opinions, and tbh i am so fucking sad i cannot let it go, you know? every day i am taken over by a wave of anger. and i know the topic of nick being disrespected and the topic of harold having a show just for him has been overly discussed. but i don't even think it matters? cause everything was so incredibly bad? i mean, it was lazy. and i mean literally everything. the only thing that would be defendable would be the cast, which is a lot of very talented nice people, but then they cast hearing boy for a deaf character (i'm not shitting on henry zaga, he's a good enough actor, but ableism, yk??) and then AMBER HEARD? they fucked up the one good thing they had going on wich was the cast... but anyway, the whole thing with the laziness just... kills me. like no character development for anyone at all. not even "main character" harold had development. you knew the exact kind of shit he was from minute 1 and nothing changed. what about frannie and stu?? simply out of no where. glenn didn't even get a backstory or flashbacks of his own?? and omg the dreams?? like... so shallow and i felt like it wasn't enough to convey how much of it permeated the story development?? i am just honestly mad and i am sorry to vent on your asks i just don't have anyone else to vent to who will get me.

Okay first thing I meant to answer this last night and somehow...didn’t idk. Second thing, you’re not bothering me IN THE LEAST so don’t worry about that!! Third, and I say this as someone who’s been on tumblr a while and absolutely no criticism is meant, but when did tumblr start allowing asks this long?? This is like a fan mail of old.

Anyway...a cut bc y’all know why...

God DAMN it makes me so mad bc of the wasted potential. Like you’ve got this book that’s beloved by millions, one of the most popular books written by one of the world’s most popular authors, and like. There’s not much you need to change!! Mostly it’s updating things!! Say what you want about SK, but the man KNOWS storytelling, and with the exception of some bad tropes he uses too often and outdated depictions, he knows character development!! Like it is literally RIGHT THERE on the PAGE!!

So okay you don’t wanna make a shot-by-shot adaptation. That’s fine!! I don’t mind adaptational changes!! What bothers me is when you change things to the point that someone new to the material doesn’t “get” it. I mean duh obviously anyone can get the basic plot of the The Stand, but I mean like how...new ppl don’t understand why Nick’s death is a big deal. They don’t get the importance of the dreams. They only see “magic” in Flagg, and not in like...the entire fabric of the world King’s built. And also they aren’t fucking pissed at the US Military for starting the whole gd thing, and then acting like such dicks about it.

That’s the hardest pill to swallow for me: the letdown. I was so excited about having a new, updated Nick. More Nick!! Because it’s 9 hours!! Nick signing?!? I hate ofc that they cast a hearing actor, but there wasn’t anything I could do to change that, so I was hoping that at least they’d be, like, accurate in their portrayal of a deaf-mute character. But then they WEREN’T and it was BAD and LAZY.

I just see LAZY written all over this in mile-high letters. Coasting on King’s bonafides, trusting that fan allegiance alone would paper over their flaws and let things slide. I keep comparing it to Game of Thrones, but honestly that’s what it feels like. D&D were such lazy god awful HACKS, and it wasn’t finally until the last couple of seasons that fans started waking up to that fact. Boone & co didn’t have the benefit of goodwill from earlier seasons, so they’re getting roasted right away. As they should be. Nadine’s lack of gray hair = Dany’s lack of purple eyes. Lack of focus on the dreams = lack of focus on the direwolves...and it all just goes downhill from there.

I just wish for every adaptation from now on we could have a little committee in the room that calls the showrunners out on basic misunderstandings about the work they’re adapting. “Oh it’s just hair color, who cares??” “Well 1) a lot of ppl, but also 2) maybe it would be okay if you ALSO didn’t make all these other changes that clearly demonstrate how little you care about fundamental worldbuilding here...”

But!! That group is allowed 1 (one) token straight white male, and the rest have to be POC, women, and the gays. And a mixture thereof.

Literally I think 90% of our problems could have been solved by diversifying the writing room. Because even if they made adaptational changes we didn’t like, at least they wouldn’t be shitty white boy changes rife with tokenism.

[kitsoa]

I'm still waiting for a trailer for it to really sink in the Kingdom Hearts tv series exists. I'm curious over what the series will be? Retelling of KH1? Seems most likely. Not that it's nessecary for newcomers to enjoy. Everybody and their grandma (literally) knows about KH. I know people who don't even play video games but religiously watch YouTube walkthroughs of the games because they enjoy KH. It's like how Detective Pikachu didn't even need Pokemon in the title. Everybody knows pokemon. -

might be why I also like the idea I read about the series taking place post KH3 with the leads being Mickey, Donald and Goofy revisiting all the Disney Worlds Sora's been to. We'd get all the Disney goodness, some possible FF cameos and maybe apperences from Riku and others. But that's just if it's an original work. I'd also love good retellings of the games if done right. I only want the characters/lore/fight scenes to be given justice/respect. Whoah. How does this fit into your meta theory?- KH is a videogame, a novel series, a manga, a mobile game and now a cartoon. KH is covering all it's bases in media. All we need is for Normura to dig his claws into the series and put in even more reality confusing elements. It's like Sora's traveling through all this different levels of media until he gets closer to reality itself (lol when we all first thought it was going to be live action. Now that'd be unsettling).

Let me level with you. I... don’t know how to hype responsibly. So to be frank, I not only believe the rumors (I was watching them unfold and I am no stranger to following leak and speculation scenes for fun) I am... ecstatic about the idea. Scared excited. But man, I’m a dreamer first and foremost. I’ll live with the disappointment when it finally lets me down.  Could it be hot garbage? Totally, but a lot of my initial fears have been soothed by the rumor mill. My list was basically: no live-action, animation please, gimme some square involvement folks. And based on the reports we have that covered. I am okay with a little new vision coming into the fray because I will always give it a chance as long as the creative philosophy is guided properly. I think there’s some level of quality control on both sides of the agreement. And as long as the Disney+ folks understand that this is essentially Disney’s break into the anime market, then we can trust they will at least aim in the right direction. But I’ll be very clear-- I’m almost 100% sure this will be a retelling and any suggestion otherwise is laughable. Here is why: 1. This was D+ idea-- (the ‘mysterious 3rd project’ pitched to Nomura that he mentioned in his interview is almost certainly this meaning it wasn’t a part of the original plan) They aren’t anywhere near Nomura’s thought process of stories to tell within the timeline. 2. D+ has an insanely large and average consumer base-- barrier of entry cannot be high. There is no way you can engagingly infodump any of the lore or series of events in a way that doesn’t make executives and producers nervous. I know it’s different for everyone but from my perspective KH is rather still niche to the larger public. It’s well known in the gaming sphere as an icon but even to Disney fans it is either entirely new or simply elusive to attempt an understanding. I mean, it’s basically introduced to people as a meme because of this lack of general understanding. This isn’t lost to a network with their fingers on the pulse. 3. D+ approved of the KH brand-- harder to explain but basically, the identity and success of KH is most definitely the aspect that ensured the survival of a tv series into development. That identity comes almost exclusively from Sora, the keyblade, and world-hopping shenanigans. Keyword being Sora. The only story that fits the franchise identity is the first story.  4. Evidence has Disney VO cast returning and also a current casting-- meaning we have Disney characters serving an important role (as they do in kh1) and the need for original characters. While this might suggest a brand new story idea, both of these points together wouldn’t make sense. Sora hangs with the Disney crowd. No one else. Coupled with the above points I’m almost certain our boy is getting recasted. This would bother people (and believe me I adore HJO) but consider that HJO cannot do young Sora in a believable way anymore. KH fans can tolerate it, but not a grander audience. If it’s just a child-voice match then that’s all the better but new creative visions require new, marketable talent. (Think of the FF7R recast drama).  ----- I personally want nothing more than for it to be a retelling. Mainly because it’s just a charming story with an interesting world and great characters. I like seeing how it would translate and what would have to be changed to make it more palatable to the medium. That and I think cinematics and great character acting can recontextualize an entire work in wondrous ways. If anything, a retelling almost certainly adds to that experience regardless of other shortcomings. To tie things into a meta reading, I would not put it past Nomura to take advantage of the series to slip in something to the hardcore base. Mind you, not something required for understanding, but something simply meant to imply what is to come. A little trippy thing or subplot that merely confounds the average viewers into a dead end but spins the heads of theoriest like me. If he’s simply acting as an advisor, then, of course, he can get away with something small. The first thing on my mind was the “KH3 Loop” Theory. The idea that Sora is experiencing his entire journey from the beginning, over and over again. The beginning of KH3 where we are playing as KH1 Sora and it’s got this double meaning of ‘seven hearts to save’. It’s hard to explain, but a retelling of the story is a great way to allude that this story has happened multiple times, with multiple variations. Be it due to how a player plays the game, or the manner in which the story is consumed (cutscene movie, manga, tv show)-- it has occurred countless times and Sora is simply a plaything of fate.