#also hes exactly the type to do something like this

[tofixtheshadows]

This is one of my favorite minor details in Dungeon Meshi, firstly because what in the femme fatale, but also because it's one of those little things that raises so many questions about worldbuilding.

The Occam's Razor defense attorney in me says that Ryoko Kui gave Kabru a boot knife because she wanted him to escape from his bonds here. And Kabru is a very competent swordsman, why wouldn't he have a boot knife, sure. He's already got a dagger, he can have this too.

And yet: the implications. Kabru, why do you have that? That is not remotely something that could be easily accessed or used in combat. Nobody is pulling out a pen knife from the heel of their boot during a fight with a monster. It's useless in the dungeon ... unless you're the type of person who isn't just worried about monsters.

I've mentioned this before, but I consider one of Kabru's functions in the narrative as being the character who fully brings the idea of human ecosystems into the story. There's a reason why he's always connected to large groups of people (Toshiro's party, the Canaries). He (along with Mr. Tansu, briefly) introduces the reader to the social and political forces working on the dungeon, showing us that none of this is happening in a monster-filled vacuum. His confrontation with the corpse retrievers, who very nearly kill Kabru's party permanently with their reckless murder-for-money scheme, reminds us that monsters are not the only things that prey on humans. Kabru understands the ways the dungeon causes people to put profit over human lives.

We only get hints of it in the story, but like any gold-rush-style economic boom, it's implied that there is a lot of crime and corruption surrounding the dungeon.

So yeah, it really makes me wonder why Kabru keeps a tiny knife in his boot, meant to be carried on him even in situations where he would otherwise be unarmed. Stored exactly in the place where it's easy to reach, even if, for some reason, your hands are tied behind your back.

[inkdrinkerworld]

hello!! could you write about spencer catching sunshine reader during a sad time? like perhaps reader has very rarely shown spencer what she gets like when shes sad, so when he catches her, she is stubborn at first and doesn't want to open up, but eventually eases into it? thank you :))

Cw: mentions of parents venting to their kids, being sad

Wc: 1.4k

You’re not sure what you'd done to deserve a day like today exactly, only that you’d woken up and from the very first moment you’d had a hard time of it.

Your planned outfit had a stain, you forgot to make extra dinner to have for lunch, you cut your ankle shaving and then your mom called.

Calls with her have a habit of being fifty fifty. It can either be a good call, or it can be a call where she uses you as a sounding board for all her negative thoughts, worries and despite the many times you’ve told her to stop, she hasn’t.

It’s safe to say by the time you walk into work you don’t even have the energy to smile- you’re using it all not to cry.

Not even your back up outfit is working it's magic- a green top with brown pants, your favourite outfit to feel like a hobbit.

Emily calls you into the round table room as soon as you walk in, giving you a little more reason to avoid Spencer’s curious gaze.

Spencer doesn’t really take into account just how bad your mood is till you volunteer to stay in Quantico with Penelope rather than go out in the field.

“Y/n?” He touches your elbow gently as the rest of the team go for their bags. It’s just you and him in the round table room and your hands shake from holding back tears.

Spencer hasn’t ever seen you this upset, sure during a case you’re mad at the things you guys read and uncover, but this is a different type of upset and Spencer doesn’t really know what to do with it.

He just knows he wants to make it better.

“Yeah Spence?” You try to keep your voice even, knowing he’ll only worry more and the case needs his worry more than you do.

“What’s going on? You haven’t looked up at me once and you keep scrunching your nose. You also haven’t smiled since you got here.” He’s a profiler to his core, but this is just you and him, of course he’d notice everything.

You shrug, scrunching your nose again. “The case isn’t exactly something to be happy about, is it?”

Spencer knows what you’re trying to do, but you don’t get the tone right for anger- you just sound defeated.

“Either way, you and Penelope have a knack for smiling through it and you haven’t even tried once.” Ever soft, ever tender are the words that escape him.

He bends his knees a little, chasing your eyes. “What is it?” Spencer’s thumb strokes the inside of your wrist, wanting nothing more than to help.

“Spencer, can we talk about it when the case is over?” You can feel the pressure of the tears behind your eyes and you don’t want to cry here.

Not where anyone can see.

You’d much rather do it at home, where you can curl up under your blanket and sob until you lose your voice.

“Alright, but we will talk; yeah?” You nod and Spencer squeezes your forearm, a firm and soothing pressure on your skin.

The case takes a day and a half to wrap up, and you’re barely holding it together- Penelope lent you her favourite unicorn desk pal for the entire case and also her fluffy pen.

“I’m sorry, babe. You’ll feel better once this is over and you can have a good cry.” She says, your head on her shoulder as you wait for your team to come back.

You nod, “How badly do you think Spencer will react if I start crying now?” Your throat is tight with emotion- honestly you’re not sure if it’s just from your previous day or also the exhaustion of working into the next evening.

“Oh, pretty bad,” she says and you chuckle, a few tears rolling freely down your face. “But I think he’ll be more worried.”

Before you can say anything, there’s a knock on Penelope’s door and you already know who it is- only Spencer knocks. You wipe away the tears hoping that will be enough to hide them from Spencer- it likely won’t be.

“See you tomorrow Pen,” you say, gathering your things and opening the door.

Spencer looks more tired than you expected and you have to assume you don’t look so rested either.

“You’re back,” he nods, taking your satchel bag from you and reaching for your hand.

“What’s wrong?” He murmurs, leading you to a secluded spot in the hall. Spencer doesn’t say it, but your eyes bare all your emotions even if your face is neutral. They’re red and they’ve got a sad look about them, just completely and utterly exhausted. Spencer wants to help any way he can.

You debate how you should start, if you should just tell him about your bad day from beginning to end or if you should just tell him about your weird relationship with your mother and let him fill in the blanks from there.

You decide it wouldn’t be fair to Spencer because he never had you guessing when he’s sharing things so you won’t do it to him.

“Um,” you can already feel the pressure building behind your eyes again. “Yesterday was off to a terrible start, nothing was going quite right from the moment my feet hit the floor.”

Spencer nods, listening quietly as you wring your hands tightly. He takes them easily, holding them in his own and stroking the skin on the back of your hand.

“Then my mom called which could really go either way, and I had to listen to her complain about my dad and every other thing in her life and it gives me a lot of anxiety hearing some of the things and she just wouldn’t stop.”

Your tears are rolling freely now and Spencer pulls you to his chest, fear of germs be damned.

He quiets his own feelings about you crying and about the way you sound recounting your day.

“She just says these things like I’m supposed to be the one to fix them and I can’t and she’s mad that I can’t and it just messes with me sometimes.”

Spencer can deduce what you’re too kind to say- it isn’t your fault or your problem and you shouldn’t be made to feel like it’s your responsibility to make it right.

Your hands shake against Spencer’s back and he sighs, squeezing you just a bit tighter.

“I’m sorry,” his hands coast up and down your back, massaging at the nape of your neck when he reaches there. “I’m sorry she puts it on you, and I know that you’re aware it isn’t your problem to solve but you can’t help that either. Maybe over time she’ll come to realise that you can’t solve all of the things she tells you.”

You nod, trying to stop hiccuping against him. “M’sorry about your shirt Spence.” He laughs, nose in your hair as he holds you.

“It’s okay,” you sniffle harshly trying to clear your sinus. “Want to come over and watch Lord of The Rings?” This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been there- you’ve spent nights there after drinks with the team and movie nights just the two of you.

All the same it’s a shocking proposal from Spencer right after a case, you know he likes to decompress in his own way.

You gasp, leaning back from his arms a little. It’s hard to miss the care displayed so clearly in his gaze. It’s harder to fight the urge to kiss him. “The extended versions?” Spencer notes that you’ve a little more spark in your tone, a little more life in your eyes.

“Yeah, I think we can make it through the entire trilogy if we hurry.” There’s a grin on his lips as he says it.

“Spencer, don’t play with me here. We’re talking serious business.” He laughs, hiking your bag higher on his shoulder as he watches you wipe your tears.

“I’m not playing. Is your go-bag full or do you want to stop by your place on the way to mine?” He hopes secretly that you don’t have your own sleep clothes, it’s a selfish want to see you in one of his shirts or even a cardigan.

“I have clothes, we can go straight there. And you’re driving, you have all the maps in your head with the shortest routes.”

Spencer nods, like he was ever going to make you drive. “Plus you’re a hazard on the road, absolute chaos behind a wheel.”

Spencer feels his chest lighten when your laugh explodes from you, loud and so like yourself as you wait for the elevator to open.

[plussizefantasia]

More Body, More Money

Anthony Bridgerton x wife!reader

Word Count: 1.1k

warnings: Allusion to smut towards the end, references to a female body and that body being bigger

an: holy shit sorry for disappearing for so long. I make no promises as to when I'll come back as I seem to have a habit of breaking those. I've been in a Bridgerton mood recently though and typed this on my phone in like an hour so no promises that it's all that good. I will say though that I've been working on a request recently and it's currently at 4k and counting which is by far the longest fic I've ever written and I'm not even to the good part yet. I've also finished outlining the rest of the parts for my Kili x reader fic. I think that's it though, thanks for reading this far if you did and for putting up with my bs.

“Darling, could you come here a moment?” Your husband called from his desk. Recently you had taken to reading while lounging on the couch in his study. It was a great way to spend time with your busy husband while also letting him get his work done. 

You didn’t exactly know what he was working on at the moment but apparently, your presence was needed to solve whatever issue he had stumbled upon. It wasn’t until you got closer to his desk that you noticed the receipts and ledgers sprawled across his desk. He was updating the families' books and tracking the spending that you and the rest of his family had done that month. 

“Yes, my love?” You moved to rest your hand on his back and traced it across his shoulders and on his neck. It was as if you two were magnets, unable to keep apart for very long. If you were close enough then you would feel your hands gravitating towards him. And if the way his arm moved to rest on your back as well, he had the same urges when in proximity to you. 

“I’ve noticed something odd in the charges from the modiste.” Anthony handed you the papers. Both you and Eloise had gone to the modiste at the beginning of the month to be fitted for some new gowns to prepare for her second season in the marriage mart and your first season as the Viscountess. 

“I’ll admit to not being the most knowledgeable about gowns and other frivolities my love, but is it normal for the cost difference to be this large? I mean when Ben and I get new suits the price is almost always similar.” He pointed to the two prices listed on the bill from Madame Delacroix. 

You didn’t know how to respond to this, you knew the reason behind the price difference between yours and Elioises dresses, of course, it was something that you had thought of already. After all, it was the same reason that your younger sister always got more gowns than you every season that the two of you attended growing up. You were larger, and as the modiste you had gone to grow up with had said “More body means more fabric means more money.” more money that your father had deemed unnecessary so you had only ever gotten one or two new dresses while your sister would be fitted for five or six of the newest and most flattering styles.

But how could you explain this to Anthony? That your dresses cost more than his sisters because you were bigger, and that meant more money.

You knew Anthony loved your body, he worshiped it often in fact but there was a difference between getting lost in the softness of your embrace and seeing the real-life sometimes the financial consequences of living in a bigger body.

“Oh, Anthony, it is uh- just a matter of resources I suppose.” 

He raised a brow at you. “I’m not sure I understand. What do you mean by resources?”

“Well dear husband, you and your brother are very similar in height and build which means the two of you have very similar resource usage, whereas myself and your sister are quite different in the… resource usage department.”

“My love, I need you to speak to me as if I am an idiot.” 

You deeply sighed and prepared yourself to have the conversation that you had been trying and failing to get out of. “Eloise is small, therefore it does not take as much fabric to make her dresses, whereas I am quite well endowed and my dresses require more material. More body means more fabric means more money it is as simple as that.” 

“That is preposterous, are you both not getting dresses?” His tone was getting more defensive, and it warmed your heart to know that he was willing to get upset at the simple fact that Madame Delacroix had charged you more because your dress was bigger. You had expected him to be embarrassed, and deep down somewhat afraid that he would realize that he had signed himself up for these extra expenses for the rest of his life by marrying you. 

“Well darling, think about it, would you expect to pay the same amount for a child as you would for yourself? Do you not pay more for your suits than you do Greg’s?”

“No, I see your point darling.”

“That is all this is my love, different sizes of clothing cost different amounts. If it is a problem I can just see about getting some of my old gowns altered to make them somewhat nicer for the new season, that way you would not have to spend as much.”

“What? No. Darling, this is not about the money, I was merely worried that that woman had tried to take advantage of you, charging you far more than Eloise for the same thing. I couldn’t care less about the money. In fact, I think you should get ten more gowns made, show everyone in the Ton that I am married to the most voluptuous, sensual, and desirable woman in the world.” He pulled you closer to him so that you were standing in between his spread knees, you still standing over him as he leaned back in his chair.

Anthony began training kisses up and down the arm that he had grasped within his hand. Turning your wrist over so that he could place one at the center of your palm. 

“I do not need ten new gowns, Anthony, that is far too much.” You giggled and protested, feeling more enamored with the man you married with every word out of his mouth.

“Perhaps I shall buy you ten diamond necklaces then so that I can have an excuse to stare at your chest as often as I’d like.” You snorted and gently smacked the back of his head. “Anthony Bridgerton, that is scandalous talk and you know it.”

“Nothing is scandalous between husband and wife, especially when the two are alone.” He wiggled his eyebrows at you and lifted the corners of his lips into a sultry grin, one that had your knees feeling weaker by the second. 

“All I really need, dear husband, is you.”

A smile that you could only consider adoring spread across your husband's face.

“And I you, my love.”

“No Anthony, I need you.”

His grin turned to a full-blown smirk spreading across his face, “Well, what the Viscountess needs she gets…” 

;)

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hear me out…. Nathan taking care of his girl when she’s going through sub-drop after an intense session

I am hearing you <3 (Also sorry this took forever!)

Sub Drop

Nathan Bateman x F!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? • request info • ko-fi •

Warnings: swearing, Nathan being a softie, Nathan picking up reader (he doesn't care what size you are, it's HAPPENING.), typos, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 501

While I fully believe that Nathan has read every single book on BDSM and knows exactly what to do when someone experiences a sub drop, I also believe that the second it happens all his knowledge goes out the window. 

Just for a minute. 

He’s so used to fucking robots that interacting with a real person who does things outside of his control (or ability to press the off switch) makes his brain go errrrrrmmmmmmmmm…

He then gets annoyed with himself for A) forgetting knowledge and B) not being helpful when you’re going through something because no matter what he pretends, he cares about you and the idea of you going through a bad time (a real bad time not a sexy-oh-no-but-not-really bad time) makes him feel helpless. 

And he does not like feeling helpless. 

Asks if he can touch you, hold you, stroke your back and press little kisses to your cheeks and neck. 

He wraps you in the softest blanket he has and refuses to do anything without you. It’s like working on a computer problem for him, he can’t stop trying to ‘fix’ it, make you feel better.

If he’s coding/working you’re on his lap, holding you against his chest while he types. 

If he’s working out, then it’s New Work Out Time, which includes carrying you around the house. It doesn’t matter what size/shape you are, he’s carrying you. Deal with it. He needs to get his reps in. No, he isn’t putting you down. No, you have no choice in this. 

If he’s cooking (for both of you) he’ll put a chair in the kitchen close to where he’s working so he can kiss your forehead every minute. 

Asks you what you want. A favourite food/drink? He’s making it for you now. A bath/shower? He’s in there with you. Cuddles? It’s already happening. Watch something? TV’s already on. Just talk? Would you like to hear about 17th century sword making processes? Don’t worry about why he’s been researching that right now.

Reassures you however he can. Despite how he likes to come across, he’s a big softie. He does not like seeing you in pain or distress. He will word vomit about how much he cares about you. (He will be a big grump if you bring this up when you feel better.)

He doesn’t like if you have a sub drop because he feels like it’s a bad reflection on him. He doesn’t blame you for it at all, just himself. Thinks he should have done things differently, taken better care, been better for you. He’s misjudged the system, made you feel bad. He has to fix this. 

When you’re better, you end up having to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault. (Which he doesn’t like, because he doens’t want to make you feel like he’s putting things on you.) 

He’ll ask if you want a massage, which he has to stop after 2 minutes because he has a boner. 

Thank you for reading!

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @whatthefishh

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@novarosewood

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[shootingstarwritings]

"Old Men are Cute"

Maria was a young woman with an obsession to two things: cute things and the occult. Combined with a particular knack with spells, she was an entertaining member of her university’s underground witch club. Those lacking the innate talent relied on her to cast a spell on them to live out their fantasies. Her seniors would often laugh and enjoy the little misadventures Maria would tell to the club. “It’s another tale of the witch Maria, cuteness maestro,” she would sometimes proclaim before launching into another tale.

The title had little competition as all of Maria’s club members agreed that her definition of “cute,” was as eccentric as she was. “Old men,” she had responded when asked about her type of guy. “They’re the cutest. By far.”

It was due to that talent and unique mind-set that her friend, Frankie, would figure she would put the new spell he had found to good use. “Astral… projection?” she read out loud. Frankie had come bursting into her room, brandishing the sheet and babbling away far too quickly for her to understand. “Frankie, dear, what’s this new spell you got cooking?”

“Found it in my granny’s old stuff,” he said, a sassy hand on his hip. “Think a freak like you can handle it? Seems difficult to pull off.”

“Spells, dick, our landlord, I can handle anything,” Maria said, her chest puffed up with pride. The two looked it over for a while, exchanging notes as they tried to translate the runes. Handling the weathered page was difficult, but after a few hours and a tea break later, they finally had a firm grasp of the spell.

“Phew! Girl, are you sure you’re gonna be able to handle something like that?” Frankie asked her.

“Yeah, of course! Stuff like this is really useful. Like, body swapping into hot guys and jerking off is fun, but it’s difficult to handle because there’s always a straight guy just going, ‘Nah bitch, give me back my body. Hate this lower back pain and mentally ill brain.’” She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know that my boobs aren’t big, but c’mon! Just enjoy the ride. And shapeshifting is also tricky. Boys don’t like it when they suddenly have a long-lost twin trying to pick up guys at the club.”

Frankie sighed. “You really are a freak on a whole ‘nother level. Well, I can keep an eye on your body and cast a spell to make sure it’s nice and healthy until you come back.”

Maria grinned. “Thanks, bestie. You always know exactly what to say.”

“But you gotta cover my rent for the month.”

Maria’s smile dropped, but she still agreed. Taking a deep breath, she allowed her mana to gather. The room darkened as the very light in the space she occupied gathered around her. She raised her hand and grasped an object that came to existence in that very instance.

“A bottle…?” wondered Frankie. Magic always took on the eccentricities of their caster. What exactly was Maria doing…?

Maria twisted the cap and slowly pulled it out. Frankie let out an aggravated sigh as he saw the plastic bubble wand in her hands. Maria, unperturbed at her rude audience, took a deep breath and blew through the hole. A barrage of bright pink bubbles flew through the air, heading straight for a closed window.

Before Frankie could think of opening it, the wave of bubbles phased through the glass. Meanwhile, Maria’s body grew limp before finally collapsing onto her bed. To any oblivious party, she appeared fast asleep.

“Well, guess I get a quiet afternoon,” said Frankie as he prepared to cast a few protective wards on Maria’s body.

Meanwhile, Maria’s soul flew through the air like a pack of hot-pink, hungry locusts. She had the perfect target in mind for her little playtime. Her literature professor, Mr. Jeong, was a stoic, well-dressed, and masculine hunk of a man. That’s why he made the perfect guy to invade first. With Maria in the wheel, she could bring out a sort of ‘contrast,’ that only men like him could pull of.

Mr. Jeong’s office hours were just about to wrap up, so Maria flew towards his office. People looked up and stared at the mass of bubbles that somehow knew where they were going, but Maria merely drank up the attention. All they could do was look up and stare as Maria soared without wings. Much of her life was spent as as a ‘have-not,’ but with magic she would become a ‘have-it-all.’ That was her promise to herself, and she intended to keep it.

As expected, Mr. Jeong was wearing another dull suit and a boring pair of slacks on a Friday afternoon. He was too busy sitting by his desk, scrolling through essays from his students to notice Maria’s myriad of bubbles staring at him through the window. ‘You’re mine, Mr. Hunk!’ thought Maria as she flew through the window. To experiment, she allowed just one bubble to phase through his back.

Mr. Jeong’s body tightened and shivered. His hips jerked forward, almost propelling him off his chair. For Maria, she could feel just a bit of Mr. Jeong’s weighty form. Her experiment was over. Now it was time for the real thing. Maria’s bubbles all surged forward and slammed into Mr. Jeong’s back and ass. Mr. Jeong let out a high-pitched moan as waves of pleasure surged from his back and focused on his ass and dick. “Argh…! Ah! Ahhh…!” His back arched into a C as Maria’s soul ruthlessly pounded and flowed into him. “N-No…” He gripped the armrests on his chair and tried to lift himself up, but there was little he could do as Maria’s essence flooded and overwhelmed his on. His fat ass slammed onto his chair as his whole body convulsed. Soon, his eyes shut and his body relaxed.

Maria let out a moan with Mr. Jeong’s deep voice as she stretched her stolen body. “Oh yeah…” she whispered to herself, smirking as she ran calloused hands down the tight and thick thighs hidden beneath the boring slacks. She took out his phone, relying on the face recognition to unlock it, and turned the camera on. She pused his lips, smirked, and stuck his tongue out with his eyes staring up at the ceiling. With each out of character face, she made sure to take a selfie and send it to her own number. She needed to make sure she had proof to show the club of her little escapade.

Satisfied, Maria pocketed the phone and began to run her hands down the nice, hunky chest. “Now what should we do, Mr. Jeong? It’s Friday, your office hours are up, and we got all weekend to show the campus another side of you.”

A few hours later, Maria browsed Mr. Jeong’s phone once more as she leaned back into his old recliner. She searched for the latest picture she had taken of his body and sent it to Frankie.

It took only a few seconds for the phone to start blowing up with messages containing nothing but nonsense. Then, she received a phone call.

“Are you crazy?!” Frankie yelled from the other line. “What about his private life? Are you gonna just ruin it all?”

Chuckling, Maria said, “Relax, bestie. I got it covered. His girlfriend’s out for the weekend, so it’s just me, this DILF bod, and the four walls I’m gonna stain with his old man cum. Maybe I’ll even stain his brand new Hello Kitty slippers that I bought with,” she clicked her tongue as she patted the fat wallet in her pocket, “all of his credit cards.”

“I dunno. Still seems kinda risky…”

Ugh, how annoying. Frankie always got nervous ever since he had nearly turned his father into a vegetable while rewriting his memories. Even after Maria had fixed up the spell and even made Frankie’s dad a little bit more bisexual as a treat! However, Maria knew every single chink in Frankie’s armor.

Taking a deep breath, Maria leaned back on the recliner and let out a guttural moan. To add to it, she made sure to spread her powerful legs.

“Uh, um, uh… w-well…”

“And get this, Frankie,” Maria chuckled as she put the cherry on top. “Y’know when you were guessing just how much this body was packing?” She patted Mr. Jeong’s crotch, grinning madly as his cock began to swell and even leak. “You underestimated him.”

“...I’ll be right over.”

[skarsjoy]

NEW portraits and interview from British GQ

Alexander Skarsgård on his “emotional support” tuxedo at the Met Gala 2024

“Going to these types of events is quite stressful”

By Daisy Jones, 7 May 2024

For Alexander Skarsgård, prep for the Met Gala 2024 starts weeks beforehand. Not physically – that doesn’t take long at all – but mentally. “I ask my family to, every time they see me, call out ‘Alex! Alex! Over here!’ to get ready for the press line. And throw out a lot of questions, like ‘Alex! Alex! What are you wearing? You look amazing!’” he says in his Nordic meets American twang, amusement dancing down the phone line.

He’s joking of course. But he’s also not. Events like the Met Gala can be “quite stressful” and “intense”, says Skarsgård. There’s a lot of adrenaline. Flashing lights. Faces in every direction. So on the day of, he likes to keep things comparatively quiet: staying inside, reading a book, mooching around in silence until it’s time to get ready. After the Met Gala, to decompress, he does exactly the same thing. “It’s a lot of fun, you meet a lot of friends, a lot of people you've met throughout the years and haven’t seen in a while. But again, you’re drained. Being in a quiet hotel room on my own is quite nice a few hours beforehand and I feel the same way after.”

We’re speaking a couple of hours before the big event, and although he says that red carpets like this can be stressful, he sounds relatively relaxed, joking and laughing often (although he is an actor, so). He hasn’t gotten dressed yet – he’ll be wearing a custom double-breasted wool suit by Calvin Klein, a brand he’s worked with for over a decade – with his hair styled in the way he usually wears it (no product, no shampoo for a day or two). “Because my hair’s very straight, I look like a Monchhichi doll when I wash my hair,” he says.

It was the timelessness of the tuxedo that spoke to him. After all, The Garden of Time (1962) by J.G. Ballard – this year's dress code – is all about the inevitable march of time, and trying to hold onto it for as long as possible. “I wanted to go for something timeless but also in my mind a throwback to James Cagney; that kind of double-breasted Hollywood look from the 1930s and 1940s. But then obviously, from Calvin Klein, it’s a slimmer silhouette with some classical components in terms of the rich wool fabric and the cut of it; the little details that I thought were really interesting.”

Did he have any other ideas ahead of the night before he landed on this one? “I felt like there are so many ways to go,” he says, that amusement creeping back into his voice. “You could go in a stone suit, because the couple obviously turned into stone at the end of the story. But we had to scrap that idea because moving in stone pants would be pretty difficult. Another version would be to go completely naked, I’m sure someone will do that on the red carpet. Because the exhibition involves a lot of very old, very fragile pieces that can’t be worn so that’s an interesting way to interpret it.” In the end, the tuxedo seemed the least extreme. “It helps to wear something that you’re very comfortable in. An emotional support outfit.”

His own style has always been understated and classic – and he doesn't like to buy an entirely new tux every time he attends a red carpet, never to wear it again. “The Met Gala is fun because it’s the only time of the year in which I have several fittings and wear something that’s tailor-made to me,” he says. “Normally, I have a couple of suits, one being my Calvin Klein suit from 10 years ago. I usually wear that to events. I don’t want [the situation to be that] every time you’re on the red carpet, you have to wear something new and then never wear it again. I think we consume enough in our society, that’s not something I’d want to promote or endorse.”

Despite the fact his own style is mostly understated, his favourite clothing item isn't understated at all. And he's wearing them right now: his Infinity Pool shorts, merch based on the Brandon Cronenberg film he appeared in last year. It's an insane film, one in which he plays a complicated, wildly hedonistic novelist. “They did some rare limited edition clothing and they gave me a pair of shorts and I love them. I wear them all the time. I have mixed feelings because it says ‘Infinity Pool’ all over my ass and the front is a profile of my face in neon as it's being scanned. It feels very narcissistic to walk around with a pair of shorts with the name of a movie you're in on your ass, and the front is your own face, but fortunately you can't really tell.”

Skarsgård won't be partying into the night post Met Gala. Sure, he'll go to a few post-gala events, but he needs to get some sleep. He'll be flying to Toronto first thing in the morning, where he's filming The Murderbot Diaries, a new sci-fi action comedy series with Apple TV+. “I play an android who has hacked his system so he’s got – or it’s got – free will, and it’s talking about going on these crazy adventures, but instead it’s watching soap operas,” he says.

“It’s been a blast for the last couple of months. I’m sure I’ll be tired going to Toronto tomorrow, but I am looking forward to it.”

[pocketpennytm]

INESCAPABLE

The story where everyone is doomed from the start. (Ft. FATEBREAKERS) Chara (they/it) - SOUL of Pain Plaster (he/they) - SOUL of Patience Omlet (she/they) - SOUL of Kindness Talon (he/him) - SOUL of Bravery Oxalis (they/them) - SOUL of Justice Sonata "Breve" Stardust (she/her)- SOUL of Integrity Litany (he/him)- SOUL of Perseverence Frisk (they/them) - SOUL of Pain Bear witness to my takes on the six fallen humans! I love these silly lil fellas. My main focuses have been envisioning "UNDERTALE: Open Wound", of which Plaster is the protagonist, and "UNDERTALE: Simmer Down", of which Omlet is the protagonist, but I've got ideas for everyone else too. Which I will detail down here lets gooo; Plaster is an anxious overthinker, thinking that they're always doomed. His patience manifests as analysing his enemy's patterns and behaviour, waiting for the right moment to strike... Either emotionally or physically. Omlet is a rude, abrasive person, who thinks the kindest, most selfless thing they can do to people is tell them exactly what she's feeling. Though she seems distant, she does have a warm and caring side- expressed through their cooking. Talon is a very plucky individual, whose bravery manifests as completely pushing down all fear and pretending that he's fine when he's really not fine. He projects outwardly a very cool, calm and collected persona, never breaking a sweat at anything. This trait of his just might be the death of him, as he moves on ahead with reckless abandon- never asking for help, when that just might've saved him. Oxalis seems unemotional at a distance, but they do have occasional moments of goofiness that break through the cold facade. They play as a cowboy embodying justice to cheer themselves up, but it's really only made them seem slightly scary from a distance. Sonata "Breve" Stardust doesn't take shit from anyone. She stays true to herself, no matter what- with her rough-and-tumble-yet-oddly-elegant style. Though perhaps being unaccepting to changing the path one is barreling down is as much of a strength as it is a weakness. Litany is a caring and nurturing person, playing out the fantasy of being a doctor with a clipboard. Always writing down notes on his "clipboard" (journal), clutching onto it for dear life. He only really wants to help others, and he keeps going to achieve this goal no matter what. MISC NOTES: Sonata's form of "game" would likely manifest as a rhythm game sort of thing, justifying it in-universe as this "bizzare trend going around the underground." Stay with the groove, or die! (metaphorically) It's been my headcanon for nearly two years now that the "Red SOUL trait" is PAIN. It is not all too logical. I am sticking by my guns.

NAME LOGIC: I was inspired by Clover from UNDERTALE: Yellow being named after the fact that once pacified, the gun fires clovers. So, I extended this philosophy to everyone else- while also seeking to capture that odd jank the names "Chara" and "Frisk" have.

Plaster is named that because the knives turn into bandaids, and plaster is an alternative term for a bandage, or something that patches up a wound. Omlet is named that because the fire turns into omelettes, and I decided to shorten it for some reason. I think it's charming like this, though. If anyone else mentions how they "aren't really omlettes", i will sob. Talon is named that because that's the most convoluted way I could reference the concept of hands. Which is what the bravery soul phase attacks with. Oxalis is named that because Oxalis Tetraphylla is the official name for a four leaf clover. Though she probably uses Alis as a nickname. Sonata "Breve" Stardust is named that bc the musical notes eventually heal you. a Sonata is a form of music, a Breve is a type of note, and she attacks with some stars. it's also sort of an Equestria Girls reference whoopsie. She's the only one with a lastname bc I feel like "Breve" captures the sort of janky charm I want, but Sonata is a name that I just found legitimately really pretty Litany is named that because that's the most convoluted way i could say "words", in reference to how the soul phase... attacks you with words. It means a funeral procession recited for the dead, but also something that's overly long and needs to be practiced several times- exactly like the cycle of the fallen humans. Or a long and lengthy ramble, like an indecipherable journal.

DESIGN NOTES: I really wanted each of the fallen humans to use their trademark items in an unusual fashion- or just generally "break the mold" a little, ie having Omlet be a rather rude seeming person, while most personify kindness to be a gentle little angel. So, I'll go into that just a smidgen more here. Instead of wearing the Faded Ribbon like an actual ribbon in his hair, Plaster wears it like a bowtie. Omlet wears the apron around her waist, since she's outgrown it but it still holds quite a lot of sentimental value. Most people just?? forget that the worn bandanna is supposed to go around your neck?? since it's got abs drawn on it, and it's like, the whole joke is that it's supposed to look like you have abs- It's a hat. Sonata was such a fun design to make for me. Everyone always chooses to make Integrity a dainty little ballerina girl, so I chose to give Breve a whole-ass varsity jacket. She looks like she'd beat you up and I love it. My logic for Litany's design was entirely "okay... who wears glasses... and takes notes- DOCTOR". So that's what I did. Chara and Frisk were difficult for me to redesign. My friend Cacote suggested Chara be wearing an oversized sweater alongside messy hair, which I quite like. Plus, their hairstyle is a partial reference to Chara from Fanontale, which is always cool. They look adorable. My friend Cacote suggested Frisk be wearing some bizzare fashion, somewhat akin to futuristic clothing. This manifested as me... giving them a weird suit/trenchcoat combo. And a sticky bandage on their nose. They look kind of like a huge asshole, and I love it.

[mybl--dyvalentine]

Twilight જ⁀➴ Jake

✮ non idol au! jake x gn! reader

✮ Summary: After dating Jake for 5 years it would be normal for you two to be madly in love. Although it doesn't seem that way.

✮ Genre: Angst

✮ Word Count: 729

✮ Author's Note: I'm back lol. Also, I wrote this on a whim so if it seems all over the place that's why. Enjoy! :3

"Jake!" You yell.

The bed dips and rises up repeatedly before finally coming to a halt after your jump. His eyes flutter open and he slowly looks at his surroundings. Walls, a door, the bed, and you. He sees the same thing every morning. He is also getting tired of it.

"hey love." He whispers, "what's got you all energized this morning?"

Jake rubs his eyes and stares at the ceiling for a bit.

"Well, I just wanted to go on a date!"

"A date?" He looks at you for a bit.

"Yeah! I was thinking that we could go on a picnic."

"Uh-huh.."

Jake's phone dings and he quickly picks it up and checks who it's from. As he types away, the haptic sounds fill the dead silence between you two. During your relationship with Jake, he seemed to have changed drastically. At the start it was like any other fairytale movie with Jake practically being your prince charming. Then again, all good things come to an end and that is exactly what happened between you two.

"Is... everything okay?" You question.

"Yes, yes. Everything is fine. So a picnic?" He pockets his phone and looks into your eyes.

"yeah. I'll get ready now."

---

The park wasn't quite filled but it wasn't empty either. There were children running about, couples sharing food, and animals wandering about. You and Jake take a seat on a blanket and begin to take out your packed food. As you take a bite from your apple, curious thoughts begin to enter your mind. 'Does Jake really love me?' and 'What will happen if I confront him?' are two main recurring thoughts. You were so immersed in your head to notice that Jake was smiling at his phone and happily typing away. Whilst taking another bite of your apple, you muster up enough courage to bite the bullet.

"Jake?" You call.

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"What are we?"

He paused. The half eaten sandwich slightly droops to the side and a piece of tomato falls onto the blanket. There it is again. The silence that voraciously eats away the love that you thought existed.

He breaks the silence, "What do you mean?"

"Jake, what makes you think I don't know what you're doing."

The hungry silence appears once more, this time even more intense. Jake looks up at the sky and takes a deep breath.

He starts, "Love-"

"Don't call me that." You cut him off.

"Alright, as for your question we're dating. It just might feel different because there's someone else too." He looks off to the side.

You take a second to think about the situation. You love Jake and Jake loves you and someone else. Unfortunately, this alone cannot break your love for Jake. 5 years of the two of you being in a relationship is something that doesn't disappear when another person is introduced.

"Maybe we can work something out?" He suggests, "Like an agreement of some sort."

"is there something i'm missing?" You question, "What about me isn't good enough for you that you'd have to see another person? Do you even know what I've done for you for all these years? All of the moments we've had with each other, are they all just nothing to you?"

"No, no. I still really love you and those moments we had, they were all real." He reaches out for your face.

You stop his hand before it reaches your face, "Do you even know if they love you back? You're seriously putting our relationship at risk for some one-sided love?"

You can see that the thought of the other person not loving him back has taken charge in his mind. His face becomes distraught and he begins to breathe heavily.

You take this chance to start packing your things and get up, leaving Jake to wallow in his own despair.

As you're walking away you hear, "Wait, Love!"

You stop in your tracks and turn around. Jake is reaching out for you one last time. You take a moment to stare at him, considering going back.

"I can't believe you would just leave me." He says.

Your jaw drops a bit and you stare at him in disbelief.

"I don't want to be with you if it means that I'll be used to cover up your sins."

[tansyuduri]

Merlin Loregasm Rewatch S1E4

Hi Everyone! Welcome to my rewatch of Merlin focusing on the lore. I am a giant nerd so pretty excited about this. We're on THE POISONED CHALICE

OKAY so @catsconflictscopicsandchamomile our resident Old English expert explained to me something really interesting. the spell used by Nimueh draws its power from the Spear-Danes, the semi pagan culture featured in Beowulf (Who had their own lake lady in Grendel's mother who was likely a priestess of the old religion And linguisticly called Disir) There is more though The first lines of the spell also seem to be Nimue saying she owes her magic to the spear Danes (that Grendel the monster in Beowolf ate) At this point I'm wondering if its meant to establish she is saying HEY MY SPELLS ARE PAGEN This will not be the only Beowulf reference in this episode. (Its never referenced or quoted after this episode) I'm wondering if the translators threw this in as a joke or easter egg Or in my freind's words "fuck it. lets canonize Beowulf in this universe real fast" (Okay I just discovered one of their choices I'll talk about later and HOLY FREAKING SHIT)

Mercia is traditionally thought of as a kingdom formed during the anglo-saxon settlement of Britain (Which occurs post Merlin acoirding to Merlin having saxons of enemies in later seasons) The historic king Arthur if he existed was said to have fought against the anglo saxons but this is just a footnote as we are focusing on Merlin Universe) HOWEVER a 13th century text says "“Pagans came from Germany and occupied East Anglia, that is, the country of the East Angles; and some of them invaded Mercia, and waged war against the British.” 

British here being Original pre-saxon inhabitents. SO it is possible that a Mercia existed before The Anglo-Saxons. This could also be the Historian using the name he knows. Bayard is not a recorded later King of Mercia either so good choice in name if we want him to be a Britonic king from a Mercia founded before the Anglo-Saxons apear. Fun fact Mercia also resisted leaving paganism longer than any other Anglo-Saxon kingdom! BUT Anyway in Merlin Mercia is a thing, Its ruled by Bayard, and its color is blue. It would be in the midlands of England most likely.

Also he was at war with Camalot, but now is not. I wonder if that has to do with Uther having not inherited but taking over the kingdom! Uther: The treaty we sign today marks an end to war and the beginning of a new friendship between our peoples

I also think Uther as a peacemaker is interesting, especially as we see this more than once. It might be why some people view him as "A good king."

So this at first glance SEEMS like it hints more toward paganism. Beltane is a Gaelic May Day festival. But its renamed version May Day was not exactly Christianized. See most other big Gaelic festivals (usually religious) Were kinda taken over by Christianity when it came. Yule became Christmas Samhain became All Saints Day (All Hollows Eve) ETC. Beltane was also celebrated in some places ALONG with Christianity until the 1800s. (Scotland did this specifically) In modern times Beltane is VERY Pagan. And it is very possible this hints further toward the Camalot is pagan or just nonreligious side of the entire debate. (Despite people using words like god or hell.) But it's not quite as conclusive as many other type of references would be.

(For context despite it saying we've Arthur here is talking about Merlin, who just announced his cup was poisoned, exclusively which is interesting!) See slow gin is a type of alcohol made with juniper berries and blackthorn fruits. It was traditionally brewed (With a lot of home brewing) in October and November and used as a warming drink in the depths of winter. AS you can tell this episode does not take place in winter. I think there are two possibilities for Arthur picking this drink specifically to mention despite that. The first is that as a prince perhaps the drink is available to him year round if he wants it and he doesn't know that is not true of most people yet. The second is he is so panicked at the prospect of the trouble Merlin is in his mind latched on to the first drink that popped into it.

Okay, so Mort means death in Latin. And the ending suffix here Usually makes the word an adjective from proper or place names BUT often appears in flower naming. So basically this plant is named The "Death Flower" Flower or "Capital D Deathly" Flower

Gaius: it can only be found in the caves deep beneeth the forest of Baloch The flower grows on the roots of the Mortaeus tree.

Uh okay. THERE IS SOME SHIT GOING DOWN with this plant. First of all, flowers growing from the roots of a tree is just weird. flowers are basically there to attract things to pollinate a plant usualy. If a tree has flowers they do not grow from the roots. Second of all its kinda weird for flowers or trees to grow in DEEP caves. Sunlight cannot read them there. I would give it a pass if it did not say deep because if there were cracks in the ceiling of the cave that could put light though. It does kinda explain why they can ONLY be found there though. If its so odd and specialized it might be the only place it can grow.

This flower is either innately magical in some odd way or does not conform to evolution. So at this point I am pretty sure it was bred/engineered/magiced into being but some sorcerer. Likely specifically for poisoning people. and that person wanted to limit the people who knew of it and thus kept it in once set of caves. BUT SOMHOW news got out about it. Ok so I also looked up Baloch. In Welsh it can mean dig or sorry. In Irish it means boy and in scottish the same thing. So no info to be gleaned from that

Gauis: A cockatrice-- it guards the forest. Its venom is extremely potent, a single drop would mean certain death. OK first of all I'm doubling down on there being some past sorcerer, Because they were FOR SURE using these as guard dogs. Second of all I LOVE Merlin paying fast and loose with magical creatures from folklore because I can too in my fics A Cockatrice in folklore was a monster created when a toad or snake egg was hatched beneath a chicken. It could kill with a look, or a breath, or a touch, and was basically a two-legged dragonish creature with a rooster head. In the Merlin world it is very diferant. We'll see one soon! "Few who have crossed the mountains of Isgard in search of the Moraeus flower have made it back alive." Yeah can't find any meaning behind the name Isgard! BUT HAVE I MENTIONED I THINK A SORCER ONCE LIVED IN THE CAVES/FOREST.

Okay I think this is a reference to the actual historical job of taster. Basically important people (ESP royalty) would hire someone to taste all their food before thay ate it. That way if it was poisoned the taster would die instead of them. It was viewed as a pretty plum gig because poisoning didn't often happen (ESP if people knew there was a taster) and the taster got to eat REALLY good food and get paid for it. I think its also an interesting character detail that while this kinda implies that Uther might have someone (At least for his private food and not banquets) We see multiple times that Arthur in fact does NOT. It is quite possible he managed to put his foot down and get out of this somehow because he believes it to be wrong. Which not gonna lie is a very Arthur thing to do.

(Context: Arthur talking about how Gaius said they can save Merlin if they get the leaf so it is not a fools errand) Waiiit is this trying to imply that Gaius was the one who brought up the idea that one could use the old religion to give Uther a son? I mean we knew he was the messenger. but HOLY SHIT. And if that is true, Uther somhow forgave him? Why would Uther forgive him? The only thing I can think is if Gaius talked about how magic had tricked him and gave Uther something else to blame. This is all conjecture though. Uther could be referring on how Gaius is close to Merlin or something else. It just feels like it might be a nod at what all went down around Arthur's birth.

Okay so this is Merlin quoting Beowolf here. A Poem that is yet to be written down but might have had some oral tradition and actually takes place at the traditional time Arthur is said to have lived. Merlin is basically talking about how Arthur/Beowolf is endowed with honnor. This happens right after Arthur decides to ride out to save Merlin.

Magic Rule Established: Potions/Poisons can be more potent if magic is used in their preperation

Okay MORE Beowolf

Merlin says Arthurs name then basically talks about a young man doing good deeds.

Playing hard and fast as I said. LOOK Dinosaur!

Okay so more Beowolf At this point I am 99.99% sure the people hired to write the spells at the time where having the time of their life. Let me explain

This line talks about gifts of treasure (the light) he conjuress to help Arthur. Fine. BUT then it mentions Arthur being under his father's protection. Expect Merlinto protectg him. The spell writers used a freaking old english poem to let Merlin call himself Arthur's "daddy" I am not sure what I am expected to do with this knowledge. (It might have been chosen so they could use the next line of the spell but THEY DID NOT HAVE TO DO THIS) The next line (Which is actually also the next line in the poem) says something about how so that when Arthur is older his companions can stand with him when war comes.

Okay so yeah turns out there is no tree or roots. I'm chalking this up to he said she said. STILL GOING WITH THE SORCERER.

OKAY so it a potion is made using magic the antidote may ALSO need magic

Oh look our first hint Merlin is immortal. I find his brand of immortality intersting. HE CAN DIE he just comes back after a bit.

[jay7543]

Hi omg, could I request for Konig x male!exoticdancer!reader (Idk if that's how you say it but ahh) Like Konig and Reader could be on a mission and Konig is part of the audience and is like- wow hidden talent >:) muhahaha. Reader has to dance on ropes or literally just anything! because their mission is to infiltrate the chambers of an elite member to retrieve his files safely. You can write this however you want, change it up, and do whatever because I know you'll write it best your way <3 Thank you so much.

Undercover with könig

18+

M4M

No, thank YOU, for requesting this, this is a great idea, and thank you for saying what you did, I’m always worried I’m not good enough at writing, but I’m happy some people find it good enough.Enough about my self doubt, I hope this story is to your liking, enjoy!!!

P.s. I hope you enjoy the few comedic lines/ elements, I always enjoy coming up with them

P.p.s. Feel free to make a request

When you were a kid, you always wanted to be a spy, or undercover cop, or just something of that nature. That’s what happens when you grow up on bond movies and tactical shooter games. So when you hit 18, you finally joined the military, thinking you could work your way up, get sent on special undercover missions, maybe even get a partner. 2 years later, you finally got there, everything you dreamed of but…. Not exactly with the suits and suppressed pistols, and the snarky German partner doesn’t help.

Reader-“do I really have to wear this?”

You say as you pick at the tight speedo that’s pushing your bulge almost back into you, it’s not comfortable

König-“yes, you’re posing as a dancer remember? And I don’t know if you’ve noticed the type of place we’re in, but they don’t exactly wear many clothes, hell I think you got lucky even getting that, though it doesn’t look like there’s much to show off”

He snickers as you look around at the other dancers, and he’s right, most of the women don’t have any tops, and almost all the men are just bare naked, meat and taters just out, you really did luck out.

König-“well get ready, you have to go out soon maus. And remember to show off. You have a target to seduce”

He gives you a firm spank as he walks out of the dressing room, laughing…prick.

Reader-“don’t call me that! It’s not my fault you’re a damn giant!”

You yell as he passes through the door.

How did you draw the short straw, you worked so hard to get here and your first mission is you dressing up like a damn slut. Well…you have always been a pretty feminine guy, but still, you wanted to be a spy, not a stripper. While you wallow im your life choices, you hear someone shout for you.

Voice-“new guy, you’re up”

You take a deep breath, dig the Speedo out of your crotch, and walk out onto the stage, it’s not huge, only big enough for a few people to dance, but it’s very high class, and more than enough people are sitting in the crowd watching you and the others. Some are just fawning over the others on the stage, some are even touching themselves, for such a high class establishment you’re surprised that’s allowed. You walk up to your pole and start dancing, more than that, you start absolutely killing it, twirling around the pole and shaking your hips and twerking to your hearts content, you got a bit carried away. Everyone in the crowd has there eyes on you, enthralled by what your doing, it’s honestly turning you on, making your dick harden in the speedo, making it poke out a bit. What you don’t know, is that könig is also in the crowd, and he’s very impressed with what he sees. He’s never seen anyone move like that, not one woman, and definitely not any men, even he’s turned on, rubbing himself through his pants. Soon your time on the stage is up, the embarrassment just now kind of hitting you as you shuffle off stage, still with a raging boner from all the eyes on you and the rush of the thing you were doing.

When you get back stage könig is waiting for you, with a smile on his face

König-“that was…really something else”

He snickers as he takes a few steps towards you. You try and push down the embarrassment and ignore your hardness as you choke out a few words.

Reader-“do-do you think the target noticed? Was that good enough?”

König chuckles

König-“sadly maus, the target wasn’t here today, he will be here tomorrow though”

Your mouth falls agape, you did all that and he wasn’t even here!

Reader-“what do you mean he wasn’t here? Our intel said he was supposed to be”

König-“yeah, but I asked around and was told he and his wife are having dinner today, I know, it’s Scheiße, but it was good practice no?”

You scoff, your target has a wife yet he rents out guys at a club, funny. Before you have time to respond könig grabs your bulge.

Reader-“w-what are you-“

König-“I saw you on stage, it seems you have some talents I didn’t know about. I saw that…how do you Americans say it…fat ass shaking, and Mein Gott, that was good, so I rented you out for a bit”

He says with a grin as he bites his lip. You can’t help but feel a bit flattered, I mean…your ass is fat, but it is a bit demeaning that he payed for you.

Reader-“you didn’t have to pay, we are still partners. Makes me feel like a slut”

König laughs

König-“well honestly maus, for the next little while, that’s exactly what I want you to be”

He pulls up a chair and sit down, legs spread. You bite your lip as you contemplate if you wanna do it…You do. You definitely do.

You start giving him the best lap dance of his life, you’re just an absolute natural at it. Your twerking, your grinding, you even feel up his cock through his pants a bit. He smacks your ass making it jiggle, with that he laughs and pulls his pants down, letting his throbbing cock spring out as he strokes it. You moan as he pulls it out, you immediately start grinding on it again, sandwiching it between your ass cheeks.

Reader-“you like it? My fat ass on your cock?”

You say confidently after seeing the look of euphoria on his face.

König-“fuck yes”

He growls out, clearly getting more and more horny as his precum starts to flow out. He grabs your speedo and tears it off you, then rubs his tip against your hole, making it slick with his juices.

Reader-“oh you really like it. Go ahead, fuck me”

With that he grunts and thrusts into you, making you yelp in pleasure as his cock buries itself deep in your guts, and his full balls slap your ass. Your own cock flops back and forth as he plows you as hard as he can, the room is filled with noises of pure euphoria and pleasure

*insert sloppy, raunchy gay sex sounds here*

Reader-“holy shit, your cock, it’s so fucking deep”

He smacks your ass again, making it jiggle as his cock goes in and out of you, your asshole clinging onto it every time, not ever wanting it to leave. His fingers dig into your hips as he drives himself in even harder, leaning over you in the process.

König-“I-I’m gonna cum”

He growls as he picks up his pace, hitting your prostate every time, causing your cum to leak out as well.

Reader-“cum, cum in me”

As if you just pressed a button, he slams his hips into yours one more time as you start to feel his seed filling you up, painting your insides, in this moment, you wish you could get pregnant. He falls back into the chair, with you on his lap, his cock still deep inside you.

König-“let’s just-let’s just sit here for a minute.”

Reader-“y-yeah, sure”

You say as you lean back into him, your head on his shoulder. You turn your head and kiss his cheek. He smiles a bit with his eyes closed as he catches his breath. Maybe this spy gig isn’t that bad

[ibringthepoptothecinema]

i wanna go off on that anon who said dan charged too much for the wad kiswe stream LIKE ITS $20..... AND GUESS WHAT people recorded it and downloaded it and shared it on google drives so it's BEEN available for free so long as you ask around in dm's, phannies dont care abt money barriers, ppl just openly repost phil's cactus club posts. there's so much entitlement in saying he shouldnt have charged money if he was just gonna make something free like come on do you NOT want his show to be accessible? also theyre not fuckin elon musk rich yall like. they're petit bourgeois which means they still do labor theyre not exactly sitting on their laurels to make this kinda stuff like it costs money. venues cost money staff costs money STAGE PRODUCTION AND COSTUME AND LIGHTING THE STUPID GIANT CIRCULAR SCREEN ALLL OF THAT COSTS MONEY!! it's not cheap and yes tickets to go to the show were somewhat pricey (imo i thought they were fair prices and im saying that as a broke person who couldnt afford to go but still) but so much of ticket price goes to arbitrary venue fees or ticket "handling" fees like it sucks but it is absolutely not dan's fault

ok anyway my REAL hot take is that dan's show should have exclusively run in seedy gay bars similar to the 2022 pride shows he did in london but like $20 at the door and and it's at a location called The Sludge which is just someone's apartment illegally turned into a bar, that kinda vibe

Respect this opinion, definitely. Some really decent points. I think as long as everyone’s respectful, differing opinions are okay to have.

I paid for the show irl and I paid to watch it online. Seeing it free on YouTube did kinda make me wish I’d waited but I’m glad I saw the pre show and after show.

I know lots of people did streaming things and lots of links. But tbf to people, maybe they felt embarrassed or icky about watching it ‘illegally’ idk. I’m trying to see it from all points of view.

One point is though like, they are kinda very rich. Not like omg Bezos stupid amount but still, a hell of a lot of money. Double shared income. Multiple channels, books, tours, sponsorship, tv and film cameos. So being able to even produce what Dan did even on a smaller scale takes the privilege of having money in the first place. And notoriety. Not something the average person could pull off. 

£20 is a fair bit for people who can not necessarily afford it but really want to see the show/support Dan. But yeah, the money part really probably wasn’t up to him, charge wise.

Dan doing an Edinburgh fringe type of show definitely is a sick idea!

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

[simplydnp]

Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them

sometimes i watch that video just to feel something

[orchideae]

1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?

"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."

[yasmeensh]

I recently discovered I had watercolours... stashed away since 2014 (oops). They are so much fun! I didn’t expect it would be this fun using watercolours. I painted my OCs with them, alongside some animal studies.

[death-rebirth-senshi]

RANNI DOESN'T *WANT* RADAHN DEAD WE DO THAT ON OUR OWN WHILE SHE'S SLEEPING!!!

Unless I'm missing some dialogue from Ranni after you learn this.

I mean don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure if you told Ranni beforehand she wouldn't be overly torn up about it and tell you to get his ass, especially given his current state.

(A lot of people that blame Ranni for Radahn's death seem to ignore, for some reason, that Radahn is in a state of constant suffering and wants to die, which is the reason Jerren holds the festival.)