#also i hope you are doing well poem anon its always lovely to see you in my inbox!! :D

[foster-the-moths]

(Content warning for implications of self harm, body dysphoria, sort of generally uncomfortable imagery, possibly unreality?)

There is something uncomfortable in the way my skin wraps around my body

A suffocating sensation, a pressure on my chest

A pressure that says “everything is wrong,”

And I don’t have to look at the mirror to know

That something is deeply, deeply wrong

That this isn’t mine.

I can tell by the numbness, that overwhelming feeling of encasement that surrounds me

This body feels dead

The heart beats, but it feels hollow

I am a parasite in this corpse

Raw and bloody,

I was a bundle of nerves, poorly packaged fat and muscle

A foreign object, enmeshed in foreign bones

Implanted and sewn shut into an oversized sack of flesh

Forced to grow and conform to the mold of it

I am mutilated, misshapen

Torn apart and reattached with mixed up parts

I am a clay figure, shaped by a child’s hands

Left with uneven lumps of flesh

I am my own puppeteer

I am anything but authentic

And no one understands that.

No one sees how I struggle to move with these tight joints

No one sees how painful it gets

How painful the nothing can be

“Your body was a gift”

Anything can be a gift, that doesn’t give it value

What good is a gift if it only takes up space?

I engrave tally marks to count the days in my prison

They come thirty nine at a time

Spreading from hip to knee in legible crosshatch patterns

They feel right

Right because I carved them myself

Not Him

You live in my mind, a maggot gnawing away

But I know your deceit

I know I can’t change

I know I’m going to die this way

Don’t tease me with that false promise

You aren’t what I’ve been calling you, but

I know your real name

I will not say it, I have no right

Not in a voice that doesn’t belong to me.

—Poem anon.

HI POEM ANON!!! REALLY LOVE THIS ONE I THINK ITS MY FAVORITE!!! i really love the descriptions in this... 'parasite', 'packaged', 'shaped with a child's hands'. the words you use are a contrast between something organic, a manufactured product, and something handcrafted by a human being - and even though all of those things are wildly different they make sense when compared together in context (just something i noticed that i think is really cool)! and it all evokes a very specific feeling to being trapped in a body not made for you and its really well done!! and i really like the line "What good is a gift if it only takes up space?" its just so. arghghghhghg(/pos). again, your poetry feels like looking in a mirror sometimes and its really incredible how you manage to capture the feelings of what you write about. the emotions in this one are especially vivid and its just so cool to me how they are portrayed. i could go on and on about this one and which parts caught my eye but i think i'll cut myself off here because idk if anything i write would be coherent in the slightest.

[definegodliness]

Hi hi. I hope this finds you well. Haha.

Your work is fucking riveting. Just the perfect amount of Perplexing, relatable and You.

I keep wondering, given you mentioned you didn't ever expect or perhaps want, to get into writing how did writing find you and how is your experience. Writing. What does that feel like for you?

And your writing voice. Its so eloquent so... artful..is that something you cultivated or was that simply a natural happening.

Personally I find nyself very disconnected from my work and the experience when i try to actively cultivate or "play around" with technique and prose etc. I naturally have a keeness to word play of sound and feel. Cadence. But the eloquence of your word choice is beauteus. Its something I would love to see in my own work im not quite sure though how to approach that goal whilst staying connected and thoroughly immersed in my experience when writing.

Hello there, Anon,

Thank you for your glowing, upbeat words. They have found me very well today, and I will cherish them. I did not expect to get into writing, because as a young adult my aim was to be successful in a rather narrow- corporate-minded way. I aimed for a job that paid well. So, writing absolutely did not fit my ego-fueled ambitions. A simpleton I was, but fortunately I can blame my inexperience in doing this living thing. I have always been a logophile. A word sponge. I care not for archaism or rarity, what matters is descriptiveness. When I find a word that is oddly particular, specialist, and above all precise, I experience a sense of elation. Even more when I finally get to use such a word. I guess you could say I favor precise communication over clear communication. Ironically, this is instigated by an innate longing to communicate clearly; as to achieve the purest possible connection, with as little as possible noise on the line between sender and receiver.

So, even when I had abandoned my love (for writing) to climb the corporate ladder, she has always kept seducing me, and has always remained part of me. Life, since then, has been slicing away at me. On the one hand, unfortunately, because life would be so much easier if I still had the same ambitions as then, but on the other hand I feel fortunate to have been chipped away, and ongoingly ever closer, to my core-self. Now, I can honestly say The Writer is a core-part. A part of me that blew up when I met my first love.

Without consciously setting out to write poetry, in hindsight, I wrote poem after poem for that girl. Of course, back then, it felt like simply sharing my heart with her. And it was such an overwhelming outpour of love, that, when she was not near, I had to canalize it through writing.

When she shattered my heart, it was very much the same. I developed scribomania, and for years I could not go without writing without suffocating. I always say writing helped me to learn to breathe underwater. However, it was more than catharsis. Prose turned to poetry, and I fell in love with this art form. Aside from getting emotions out, I also soaked in every bit to do with the craft. In that, poetry has given me a sense of purpose. What I love most is that you're never done learning, and therein you are never done evolving as a poet.

Curiosity is key. Reading-wise, when I like a poem, I am always keen to learn the whys. Then, try my hand at it. So I tried a lot of different styles, and when I finally wrote a satisfactory poem in that style, I went back to my own. Still incorporating the things I have learned. I have tried (nigh) every type of fixed verse similarly. Yes, sometimes fixed verse feels mechanical. But when I reread old work I do see my, then subconscious, emotions resurface. It may feel as if you are more disconnected than when writing free verse, but I assure you you are not. The set boundaries of fixed verse should not be seen as shackles, but as a lens; you utilize it to create a focal point.

Still, if you are truly averse to fixed verse, it has been mostly beneficial to me, because counting syllables, utilizing meter, and searching perfect rhymes has often sent me to my thesaurus and dictionary. It helps to hone your inborn skills, like lyricism and cadence. I do think my writing voice is natural, and that any writing voice is — I have never searched for it, doubted, or questioned it — but I also have cultivated it, longing to make it resound as clear as can be.

I think it's great you are confident in your own writing voice. That you know your strengths, and can play around with them. Never let anyone take that away from you. Never be hesitant, worried, or ashamed to write what you feel, need, or just plain simply want to write. Like I said, I love poetry because you can continuously keep evolving, and even if you feel a poem turned out subpar, or bad, or great for you but it turns out nobody else likes it, it is always a step in your evolution. There are many roads that lead to Rome. I now shared a glimpse of my path. But if you stay curious and just keep doing what you love, you will always get where you want to be.

Long answer, but I haven't written for a week, and I guess I am still a bit scribomanic. Your message offered a welcome distraction, and reason to pick up the pen.

For which you have my thanks,

Best wishes,

Mark

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Hi! sorry if u have answered this question before but how do u outline ur wips? I read ur wolf suguru wip and it was written so well! Also how do u come up with such amazing ways to describe things lol - a genuine question ! as a reader u make it such an fun experience to read!

hi anon!!!!!! no worries, i don’t mind questions like this in the slightest!!!!! :3 and my memory is pretty bad so i can’t remember what i have and haven’t answered anyway phdkdj… pls bare with me….. 😭

first of all!!! tysm!!!!!!!!! you’re so sweet!!!!!!!! 🥺 i’m so happy you liked the wolf!sugu wip wahh..

bUT. yes. outlines!!!! honestly my outlines are mostly rlly simple/messy? it depends on how much i’ve thought abt the concept, but usually i just write stuff down so that i won’t forget to include it while writing the actual fic!!! :3 anything from plot points to dialogue to actions to descriptions and metaphors… again, it rlly depends!!! i don’t like making my outlines toooo detailed bc i feel like that can be kinda constricting? but i also want to make sure i remember stuff so 😭 it’s…. a delicate balance!!

here’s just a random example of one of my sugu outlines for reference:

…. as you can see it’s 😭 literally just scribbles. for my own brain to follow. actions and dialogue that i think of ahead of time n wanna remember!!

buuuuut i also have some wips (like the wolf!sugu one!!) where i write out parts of it… randomly… instead of making an outline. it’s not something i see as very Smart bc it’s always hard for me to fill in the gaps between them :’3 but it’s fun in its own right!!!! overall i don’t think my outlines r. anything special 😭 it’s up to the writer how they wanna do them!! sometimes (Very Few Times) i get hit by inspo and write a lil drabble or fic with no outline at all… and that’s actually really nice. but it’s rare for me LMAO

ANYWAYYYY onto your second question!!!!! descriptions!!!!! I’M SOOOO HAPPY YOU LIKE MINE YOU HAVE NO IDEA 🥺 they’re probably what i like writing most…… wahhh it’s hard to give advice tho!!! it rlly does come down to the writer… i dunno if there are any things i really. keep in mind? while writing them… BUTT i love working w imagery!!! soso much!!!! and it’s especially fun when you let yourself experiment w them :3 there’s this One poem i like where the poet compares the stars in the sky to drops of milk and . stuff like that is so much fun!!! metaphors that r a lil weird.

so in general, imagery is an option if you feel like it!!!! another thing i like doing is to ’zoom in’ on small actions/details….. you can spend soooo much time describing a certain item but also just. a single line. same w an action!!! you have so much freedom when it comes to writing descriptions, it’s just a matter of what you Want to describe :3 i like. describing sugu’s voice………….

…….,,, i think that’s very vague advice </3 BUT I RLLY HOPE IT ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS ANON….!you’re very very sweet!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 thank you sm for being curious abt it too!!!!!!! <333

[reira-layla]

I Knew I Loved You

Requested by anon on my AO3

Plot: Shigure's POV on the day of Akito's conception as well as his conversation with Hatori that day.

"I'll see you soon." 

He dreamed of her and that was the beginning and end of everything. It was the beginning of a lifetime devoted to her but it was also the end of an existence that had felt empty. The boy had often found life to be rather dull, always feeling as though he was waiting for something and yet, he hadn't the faintest idea what he'd been waiting on. All it took was a dream and he'd found the missing piece. 

Although still young, the boy had read his fair share of fairy tales and poems. The concept of love was foreign regardless of how many times he'd read those stories, but he assumed that what he felt now was something comparable to love. Was this love? But how could he love someone he'd never met? It was as if his soul recognized hers on a level much deeper than just the dog spirit within him recognizing its god. This was something else entirely and although he couldn't put a name to this feeling, he knew it was something he wanted to feel forever. 

The tears he'd cried that morning were the most tears he'd cried since birth. In fact, the boy wasn't particularly big on displaying emotion. Shigure was an enigma to his friends and his parents. Hatori and Ayame spent more time with him than anyone else but neither of them had ever seen him weep the way he wept for her and the feelings that consumed him. 

The dream had been so vivid and he'd replayed it over and over in his head as he got dressed, eager to meet the other zodiac children. Surely they'd all had the same dream, but did they all feel the way Shigure had? It was hard to imagine that any of the others felt the way he did and honestly, he hoped they didn't. Whatever this feeling was, he didn't want it to end. 

As expected, the others were waiting for him outside of his house. No words needed to be exchanged given that they all knew what this meant, how important this day was for all of them. As they ran to the main house, Shigure led the way. He took note of the fact that the others didn't seem enthusiastic in the same way that he did and that alone was enough to assure him that his feelings ran much deeper than a bond.

When they saw Ren walking out, they stopped in their tracks. She looked confused but didn't move away at first. The four boys reached out and each placed a hand on her stomach. "We've been waiting for you," they said in unison. Shigure felt as though the breath had been knocked right out of him. This child, his god, the one that had finally made his life make sense… he'd meet her soon. Touching Ren's stomach seemed to bring out even more emotion in all of them but Shigure was convinced that none of the others felt what he was feeling. It was surreal and overwhelming for them all, however. 

With wide eyes, Ren finally backed away from them. She gasped and began to walk fast in the opposite direction. Their hands reached out once more as they watched her leave. Unbeknonst to them, they would not see her again that day or hardly ever over the next few months. 

"What now?" Kureno asked, breaking the silence. 

"We wait, I guess." The sadness that came along with the deep sense of longing could be heard in Shigure's voice.

"Do you think Ritsu had the dream?"

"Stop asking so many questions, Kureno." No one cares. Shigure couldn't help but feel some jealousy knowing that the others had shared the dream with him. He wanted the reality of the dream for himself and didn't want to share this feeling with anyone. Kureno's incessant talking was distracting him from getting lost in his thoughts. Shigure had never liked Kureno much. The rooster enjoyed following him around and tried too hard to be his friend and for whatever reason, that made Shigure dislike him even more. 

"Maybe we should all go home." Hatori was, as always, the voice of reason. It was mid-March and there was still a chill in the air as spring moved in slowly. Being the only responsible one in the group, Hatori didn't want anyone getting sick. 

They each went their separate ways but Shigure had no interest in going home. He knew his parents would likely ask where he had been and he didn't feel like explaining anything to them. Shigure took enjoyment in keeping them on their toes. 

The boy found himself on the roof, looking up at the sky. Something about knowing that she now existed in the same world that he did made him want to cry once again but he held back his tears. Again, he found himself questioning how he could feel this strongly for someone he'd never met.

"Shigure, what are you doing up there?"

He looked down to see Hatori and chuckled softly. "I don't want to go home yet. Let me guess, you didn't want to go home either."

"It's not that. You were acting strange. I know that the dream… It was a lot for all of us. We've all acted a bit strange today but it's different for you, isn't it?"

A sigh escaped the other boy's lips as he searched for a way to answer his best friend's question. It was different but given that these were new feelings, Shigure wasn't confident enough to completely vocalize what he was feeling. 

"I don't want it to end. I want it to last forever. I want to give it form and make it mine. I will."

There was silence between the two. 

"We all feel strongly about-"

"It's not that. It's not just the strong emotion. It runs much deeper than that. This is the feeling I've been searching for my entire life and I never even knew such a feeling existed until today. I know it sounds… crazy but I won't question it. How does it feel for you?"

"Not how it feels for you, I guess. It's different. The animal spirits in us are overjoyed. I can sense that and yes, it does make me feel content as well but what you're saying… I couldn't say the same." Hatori was always so serious. In moments like this, Shigure appreciated it given that he knew he could never have a conversation like this with Ayame. 

"You're right. The animal spirits are overjoyed which explains the tears. That girl though… there was something about her."

Hatori sighed. "Yes, Shigure. She's god. Did you miss the point of the dream?" 

The confusion his friend had expressed was amusing to Shigure. "I'm not talking about god. I'm talking about the girl and what I feel. I don't know how to explain it. No words I've ever read in any of my books can help me put a name to this. I just don't want to ever stop feeling this way. I feel as if I were to go inside or see my parents, I'd forget this feeling. I know that's stupid because soon the dream will be real."

This was a lot to take in, even for a precocious boy like Hatori. He understood some of what Shigure was saying but most of it didn't make sense to him. It was as if Shigure was talking nonsense, which wasn't unusual. Still, Hatori had never seen his friend like this. It was almost unsettling. 

"Shigure, I think you need to go home. Nothing will change. You know it's real. We have school tomorrow so you'll have to go home eventually. You probably have homework you haven't done."

Although Shigure had no desire to go home, Hatori was right. Nothing would change. She was real and he would cling to the feelings he'd felt that day for as long as he lived. Hatori was also right about him having homework that needed to be done. 

The two said their goodbye and Shigure finally went home. The memory of this day would stay with him until the end of his days.  He didn't know it yet but this would forever live on in his memory as the day he was made aware of the existence of the woman that would be his wife someday. 

[mlmxreader]

Hiya! All well? Hope so. I'm doing splendid, especially because we're getting treated to all these simultaneous updates!! I know it wasn't my request but I hope its okay if I give my thoughts about Safe As Houses because it was absolutely 🖤🖤!

Bane offering to visit the person *privately* 👌🏽. I mean no, no, NO. Murder is wrong. Yup, wrong, kids. Don't do it. Even when it comes to bastards that can't keep their effing hands to themselves. On second thought, just need 1 minute, don't I? Cause this person needs to have some **words** delivered to them.

🥹🥹 He was keeping them safe the entire time?? Stop it. Get out.

He froze when you kissed his mask, smack in the middle. [...] He stared at you, but before he could think to ask you, he gently pressed his mask to your lips again. You smiled, and his chest felt funny.

EEEHEHEHHEHEHEHHEHEHHE!!! ***jumping off the fucking walls*** HE BLOODY FELT WHAT IN HIS FUCKING CHEST?!?!?!?! Uhm, *straightens clothes, fixes hair* Right, I'm good. Please continue on.

“Or,” you started, “you could always just… be with me whenever you have five minutes and keep me safe yourself - for safety reasons! Obviously. Not so we can, y’know, kiss and cuddle and shit.”

Oh definitely 100% JUST for protection, yeah. For sure. Need them arms wrapped around ya, faces pressed together, for PROTECTION reasons. Definitely. Yup, yup. 🤭😆

Okay but the image of Bane just showing up unannounced to their work, making the little grabby hands "cuddles?" Fucking adorable!

“Larks will bravely sing and fly in places where there’s no life,” he explained, “just as poppies will grow in the same places… you are my lark.”

🥺🥹🥺��🥺🥹🥲 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Okay, but I see and appreciate that little nod to your header. I had no idea the association with larks! That's so cool and such a beautiful little pet name for them!! Manz has it bad for reader (to be fair, we also have it bad for our big tittied, thick thighs Bane).

You nodded, daring to gently plant a kiss to his mask again. He didn’t freeze, only hummed before he nudged your mouth with his mask and pulled away to leave. 

Adorable. Adorable. Adorable. I simply cannot, your honour. I fucking love them. Thank you ever bloody much and onto your scheduled programing.

Alrighty, til next time my friend. Stay safe, be well, sending you all the love, always! Now imma grab my puppos and run from the congregation of devil geese inching closer to my yard! See ya!!

🖤🖤🖤🖤

🐍anon

hi!!!! I'm so glad you're enjoying all these so much 🫶🏻🫶🏻 and tbh, I'm kinda glad that I had so many come through! you can ABSOLUTELY give your thoughts on whatever I write!! it's always more than welcome!!

"murder is wrong" is it tho? is it when a big titty commie suggests it? IS IT?

Bane kept them safe as... well, safe as houses lmfao he ensured their safety, not for his own benefit either. he got nothing out of it, they didn't even KNOW!

"his chest felt funny" he's down BAD!!! he ADORES them!!!

""safety reasons"" uh-huh. yeah. totally not to get dicked down by a big titty commie w a huge dick. totally not. /sarc

he probably would just show up at their work unannounced tho, just stand there and keep an eye on what's going on, maybe intimidate a few people while he's at it.

it's from a poem!! it's from In Flanders Fields by Lieutenant-Colonel John McCrae and was written about WW1! the line is "the larks still bravely singing fly, scarce heard amid the guns below"!! but yeah, Bane 100% is down BADLY. ATROCIOUSLY.

the mask-to-mouth touches... the closest he can get to actually being able to kiss the reader... 🥺

as always!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 I love hearing from you!!!!!

[transmascore]

hi, its the same anon who asked about if its possible for sexuality to change. just wanted to thank you firstly for your answer. it really got my gears turning about who i am so thank you

if i could ask another question ....(sorry if its a bother)

is it possible to experience a kind of internalised homophobia but because youre an unrealised transmasc/trans man who is attracted to men?

like, and i know this will sound really weird so i apologize in advance but, whenever i see any mlm content, whether its art or books or movies or pictures or anything that shows two young men being happy and in love, i just feel so.... like.... annoyed? by it??

idk if its an internal sense of denial making me push away thte thought of being masc presenting/transmasc/a trans man and in a happy relationship with another man who sees me as another man but... it happens all the time. and i dont feel this deterance from another other kind of queer media. just mlm.

i have a suspicion that its because im transmasc and have an unacknowledged growing attraction to and desire for men that i just subconsciously refuse to accept because im clinging to lesbianism for dear life and then theres internalised transphobia going "i cant actually be a gay if im transmasc/a trans man" but....

is this an actual thing other people deal with? or am i just strange and need help with that?

thank you (again) (and sorry)

I'm glad that I could help!

And to answer your question: once again, yep! It's extremely common. Internalized transphobia and internalized homophobia are something a LOT of us experience and have to work through bit by bit. It can manifest in different forms. For some it's seeing any representation at all, for others it's situational.

Something I always recommend when it comes to internalized transphobia (and I'd recommend the same for internalized homophobia) is to really immerse yourself in art, writing, poems. To recognize that discomfort and face it head on. But also, take care of yourself? Don't try to speedrun it or overwhelm yourself. Just do a little bit of exposure therapy at a time. And think of it less as "I'm learning to tolerate this" and more of "I want to understand more about myself and who I am as a person."

It also helps, too, to talk about things with other people. It's funny to admit, but I became a lot more comfortable with myself as a trans man after friends and I talked about trans headcanons we had about fictional characters, and we would explore scenarios about these characters and how they would interact with one another. And it wouldn't surprise me if the same process, of talking about fictional characters you like and exploring a relationship between them, might help you to feel more at ease.

Also I think you might benefit from reading these articles about Transmasc Comphet, even if you are also attracted to women, because it goes into more detail about how gender and sexuality can be intertwined and how the way we understand ourselves can change with time.

I wish you luck on your journey of figuring stuff out and I hope that you get to a place where seeing mlm stuff doesn't make you uncomfortable. If I can make a personal recommendation? Our Flag Means Death helped me a lot. It's a pirate comedy show and it also features two MLM romances and one NBLM romance, all of which I feel are handled quite well. And I will say, this show helped me recognize and feel more comfortable in my identity as a gay man.

[life-through-my-eyess]

Hello there :), you as prime minister would definitely be a cultural reset, a power move the world ain’t ready for!

I bet you’re more smooth than you give yourself credit for, see flirtatious eyes and pretending to fall, you ain’t fooling nobody haha. Also if midnight dances with a cute girl in the rain would feel like heaven, don’t get me started on snowball fighting with a cute girl during Christmas.

I deeply relate to you regarding hiding this part of ourselves, if I had to take a guess on why, I would say it’s a combo of protecting my vulnerable self and a society effect. Our everyday life connections usually feel superficial, it’s hard getting to really know somebody, we’re always running and busy with everything and nothing, don’t get me wrong we meet beautiful souls and great friends along the way, but really knowing these human beings takes a long time and I don’t know if we’re truly capable of letting go and let somebody know 100% of us, I hope we are.

I love your positivity and I couldn’t agree more, I think we need to be more kind to one another. Life is funny, life is weird, life is painful, life is beautiful and i also don’t know what life is haha. We really don’t know nothing about this world, I have no idea what we’re doing and what our purpose it’s supposed to be.

Omggg yesss pleaseee take me with you!!Lets runaway and write a bunch of books, we can write all genres, self help, crime, romance, thriller, poems, whatever! You really have no idea how these words warm my heart ahaha sometimes I think about it, like in another world I would be somewhere in the woods writing, in another I would have a coffee shop in a small town. What about you? What are you doing in another world?

Well, whatever place your words come from, I believe that are a lot of people out there that need to ear it, although some aren’t ready for it yet. The world is better place because you’re on it 💕

I also love staying in touch with nature, I love going for walks just to get fresh air, with music or no music it really depends on the mood, it’s lovely either way. I’m drinking my water haha thank you, hope you too. I didn’t see a lot of flowers today, but it was pouring raining and I decided to go for a run in the middle of it haha, it was quite the experience but it brought me peace and it reminded me of you.

I hope you get to eat some chocolate, because well it’s pretty self explanatory, chocolate’s amazing and I really hope you aren’t one of those sociopath people who hate it haha. Stay well :)

Hey anon 👋, hahaha yeeeeees 👏🙈

Ha ha whaaaat? O.o nooooo, Oh shit bloody nuts your on to my game 😅😂. Oh my gosh, yeeeessss. Snow ball fights.

I agree with you, people have been brought up differently and it’s so hard to break the cycle of the shit you’ve seen and been put through. It’s a challenge on its own. I think we hide things about ourselves as we feel ashamed. People either leave before you know them or just don’t want to get close so they don’t get hurt.

Yeah life is funny and weird as non of us actually asked to be here, if you ask me I think that’s hella rude. But seriously, life is just so fully of life, it’s filled with such amazing things. How things are growing so quickly and how far we have come. I believe we find our own purpose, our own happiness, our life is ours and nobody can take that away from us. It’s in our hands and we have to take control of it. We might get lost as things will get in the way but we can either destroy ourselves or make it the best life. Humans are masters of destroying their own minds and lives. We have to look a lot deeper than just see things that are there. Instead of seeing an object, look deeper into it. Without the rain and sun we wouldn’t have a rainbow, there is just so much more to life than just work and living. But life can be suffocating but it’s not life itself it’s the things around it that are causing you the suffocation and damaging you. We pick our destination so make it a fucking good one.

Right I’ll be waiting outside with my bicycle lol, I have a spare helmet ?? 🙈. Your world sounds hella fucking peaceful, it sounds so warm and made me feel like I’d be comfortable and at home. I hope you escape to your world when things get tough. My world?? My world is crazy ahaha. One version is, having a restaurant/spa/coffee place as I’d cook food for everyone and watching them eat my food as they smile into the bite they took. My place would be in some woods but on a high hill with a beautiful sparkly Diamond like waterfall. The best sunsets and sunrises as we are high up with the best view. Spa to help relax and the coffee show to see people come together, drink my hot drink as they sink into their chairs and holder the mug a littler tighter. Listening to their problems, gathering the darkness and letting it go as the sun goes down and the darkness burns in the sunlight. The most memorising, spectacular sky’s, the moon and stars. Filling my soul and making me feel light, as if I can fly with no worries. The smell of wood burning, the light restoring the light inside my soul. Taking peoples darkness and turning it into hope. A place where there are no judgments nor expectations. Filled with love and kindness.

That is so kind, you’re so freaking kind thank you for your words. You’re a positive human being and awesome no lie. I hope that light never dies inside of your soul and that it keeps burning 💕.

There won’t be much flowers as the leafs are falling. It’s still freaking amazing. Did you do well on your run? That’s so sweet 🙈. Did you feel the rain or just get wet? I’m glad the rain brought you peace, peace is good for the soul.

Chocolate is amazing, tastes hella good 😍. Who can hate chocolate??? I actually don’t eat chocolate because I can’t stop if I do. I have to have a mini fight with myself inside my mind tell me to stop 😅😂. I hope you’ve been well and that things have been good for you.

Also, if all you did was breath and do nothing, that’s enough and I’m proud of you. Sometimes getting through the day is an achievement within itself.

[ohdudedhesflirting]

I guess like every space of work always overwork and expect crazy deadlines... 

Yes, it’s time as society that we change this lmao. 

I'm sorry you have so much pressure to complete assignment in such a short time !

I feel like maybe for someone more experienced, it would have been reasonable and not as terrible. This role is 1-2 levels above my previous role sooo…? (Like the role required five years of experience and I only have around 2.5 sooo whoops 😝) I got an email saying I’m going to the next round (and it's next week so I'll try to stay away from Tumblr) so I did a good job (I think).

——

OOOO ART HISTORY? Sounds cool. 

—-

Take care of yourself as well. Have some good sleep/ Hope you had a good sleep <3

I’ll try lmao. I didn't expect them to reply so fast because it's a job in the public industry and it looks like there's good chance I'll have 1-2 interviews in the same week (I got two emails today).

I should be happy that I might not be unemployed but like all I want to do is talk to my moots and write fanfics (lmao).

---

Also random because I want to move away from topics of work and misery so here are songs that are keeping me alive at the moment (I'm sorry I can't link them cuz I'm writing them as anon but let me know if you need helping finding them):

Event Horizon by Younha

Me After You by Paul Kim

Dear Name by IU

Hug Me by Joonil Jung

I will go to you like the first snow by Ailee

At Gwanghwamun by Kyuhyun

Try by Park Won

Love Poem by IU

Only by Lee Hi

U R by Taeyeon

If It Is You by Jung Seunghwan

Knees by IU

Eve, Psyche, and Bluebeard's Wife by LE SSERAFIM

What songs are you listening to these days?

---

🤙 anon

The problem is this society is that it a capitalist one. Productivity is more important then well being and that is something which I deplore immensely

Omg wow so you are aged then ? That’s so impressive ! Congratulations for going to the next door I am very proud of you darling. And yes do take some time off to focus on work 💛

Art history is very cool I like very much ! I’m doing an internship in a museum for two months and I get to work surrounded by art and its incredible

Oooh so you are writerrrr I hope I read some of your work !

A job in the public industry might be good because I think you will a job that is safe and well paid ! I believe in you for those interviews you are going to be amazing !

I love that IU song I think it’s one of her best one ! I don’t know most of those lol but I’m gonna take a listen to them and see if I like them as well <3 I recognize some the title but I’m not sure I actually know them and I don’t like that le serafim song it somehow gets in my nerves ? Like I’m a mess mess mess part makes my blood BOIL

Here are some of the songs that comes to mind that I’m listening to these days 💛

Take some good care of yourself always 💛

[boyfhee]

hi!! well, i dont know what to say - i do have a bad luck with stumbling across the saddest quotes like that EVERY time i read angst :/// i truly believe it is the universe mocking me! 

okay *pretends that if love sick was a person is not in the same timeline* oh im fine now 🙂

im probably not okay, but thank u! u should be PROUD af cuz htgbwye is a masterpiece, im not kidding, the moment i realized that u got me thinking about it and rethinking the way i view/ed life u know u did something truly special !! and im sure its not only me :))

 i know that the plane already took off, but i can't let go, i truly cannot let this work go and i was thinking about where heeseung is now… and its wrong and its painful and i would love to buy his poetry book - thats all i have to say 

also another taylor swift comes to my mind- “right where you left me” - if u want u can check it out if u want to ofc ^^ some of the lyrics are  just hee coded, like the title ALONE is- okay i wills shut upi should stop doing that too but i cant ,comparing two masterpieces is what i live for <3

anyhow

i would love to be an anon!! that sounds super fun ! i should be swift anon at this point ? my brain is not braining and thats the only thing i could come up with, is that okay?

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, im so so very sooooooo excited for “fair and square” !!!! time to relax and enjoy something more fluffy....... i hope !!!!

ps. i seem to be unable to write short asks lol, i hope u have a great weekend!!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

nah that is SO foul, but the way i never come across cute happy fics after posting angst 💀 like i always see angst . it's the price i have to pay bae we're in this together 😞

honestly htgbwye is somewhere adapted from my thought process while i was thinking about switching career lanes, ofc i didn't have it as bad as yn godbless like i hope no one goes thru that, but that thing surfaced from the deepest corners of my brain, and i spent around 6 months writing it so it's definitely something i hold close to my heart :) AND HEE'S POEMS actually i have a short list of things he'd write about, i even wrote a poem— red wine, the one i mentioned in there!!!! it was supposed to be there in the fic but it felt unnecessary ( plus, im not that good of a poet ) though, I'd love to read his works as, and i can confirm that he's doing good!!!! htgbwye heeseung visits the memorial for the victims from time to time to see yn, kinda sad how he's the only one growing older but it's fine!!! ( this is not helping u with the trauma is it )

AND NOT TAYLOR AGAIN that woman needs to stop writing sad songs . it's enough bc i think i will end up writing another heeseung angst at this rate :/ ALSO U DEF CAN BE SWIFT ANON that's super cute actually!!!

fair and square, i hope i don't overdo the angst there even if it's supposed to be super short :") but other than that, it's a cute fic, more like comedy. thank u sm for looking forward to it, and dw ab long asks ^^

[animeomegas]

Omega!Itachi comforting his mate

 Anon:Can you do a scenarios where itachi comforts his s/o after a nightmare??

AND

Anon: Itachi fluff pls 🥺 can you write about how Itachi comforts his s/o after a loooongggg mission that takes a toll on their body??

AND

Anon: have u got anything to spare regarding itachi, or any other uchiha? 👀

(I can indeed do all these things, enjoy everyone~ 💓)

Warnings: None.

Itachi is very good at noticing emotional and physical changes in his alpha, which means he always knows when they could use a little comfort or attention.

What he is not good at however, is words, and so he relies mainly on actions as a way to offer comfort.

Itachi does sometimes feel guilty that he can’t offer verbal support, so he makes up for it tenfold.

Baths, food, someone to vent to, whatever his alpha needs, he’ll try his hardest to supply.

Itachi owes them so much, after all, so he should give as much as he can in return.

As far as specifically to nightmares/post-mission comfort, well:

Nightmares –

Itachi is a light sleeper, so chances are he’ll either already be awake or he’ll be woken up by his alpha having a nightmare.

Itachi is a little unsure how to go about comforting his alpha after a nightmare, so he will normally fall back on two plans. Plan number one is doing as he’d asked and involves him simply completing any requests his alpha makes of him. But if his alpha simply insists that they are fine and that he shouldn’t worry, he moves on to plan two in which he copies what they do for him when he has nightmares.

For Itachi, tea makes everything better, so hopefully that also works for his alpha because it is his first attempt at comforting them if you don’t wish to fall back to sleep. 

Itachi drinks so much tea it’s almost impressive (and also makes up over half of his mission budgets)

He is very willing to listen if his alpha would like to talk to him about their nightmare, or about anything else they wish to talk through.

And…

Well, this part is a sort of secret… but-

Itachi has quite a lovely voice and if nothing worked in calming down his alpha and they asked him to sing...

He would. Very quietly, but he would.

Itachi hates singing in front of people but he would do anything if his alpha needed/asked him to do it.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as you stare down into your tea. “You don’t have to stay up with me Itachi, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“You are not disturbing me,” Itachi replies simply from his position perched next to you on the bed, and silence falls between you both.

“Itachi, could you…” you trail off, blushing a little at the absurdity of the request you almost made.

“Could I what?” he asks softly.

You hesitate to respond, but decide to go for it. “Could you sing for me?”

Itachi stills at your request, but his hair stops you from being able to see his facial expression. You bite your lip, worried that you have offended or embarrassed him.

“What… What should I sing?” Itachi eventually asks, bashfully tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “I’m not sure it will help you, my voice is not very good.”

“I love to hear your voice,” comes your immediate and truthful reply. “It’s as beautiful as the rest of you.”

Itachi scoffs a little, as he always does when you compliment him too directly.

“And you’re not allowed to say anything about not being beautiful on the outside, Itachi, because I swear, no matter how sad I am, I will fight you until you admit to being stunning. Sing for me, please?”

Itachi takes a shaky breath, before quietly beginning to sing in his gentle but steady voice.

He sings a poem he was taught by his mother as a child, a poem he had loved fiercely, because of its content. It was a poem about the pursuit of peace and it used to give him hope in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep, that things would get better. 

His voice is very quiet, but there is nothing as relaxing as hearing your mate sing to you, something he did so rarely. Suddenly the stress of the nightmare seemed so far away, so miniscule in comparison to the surge of love that made your chest burn.

You want to reach out again and tell Itachi how beautiful he is, how loved he is, but your body feels too heavy, and instead, you simply drift to sleep.

 Post-Missions –

Itachi is hyper alert when his alpha comes back from a mission, scanning every inch of them to make sure that they haven’t sustained any significant injuries.

This goes double for longer missions because it’s much harder for Itachi to quieten his protective instincts if his alpha has been away from him for a substantial amount of time.

So, he’ll notice straight away if his alpha is obviously exhausted and injured after a mission and he makes it his top priority to look after them, because Itachi is a nurturing person by nature, one, but he also feels like he owes his alpha so much.

Itachi will first treat any injuries to the best of his abilities, quietly stripping his alpha and bandaging or healing any wounds he can find, too focused to feel any embarrassment about paying that much attention to his alpha’s bare body.

He is mostly silent when doing this, but the silence isn’t awkward, it’s peaceful after the chaos of a mission that left you broken and bruised.

When he’s done, he doesn’t want to get the bandages wet, so he will help his alpha wash their hair over the side of the bath and dry it for them afterwards, before tucking them into bed with the instruction to wait while he makes them something to eat.

Canon Itachi is… not the greatest cook. He can find an animal and roast it on a fire if he needs to, but as far as cooking in an actual kitchen goes, his skills are questionable at best. So Itachi is likely to be gone for quite a long time and then come back in with something slightly burnt or something he got from a shop because his first attempt was inedible and he gave up.

It’s very cute though, so he gets a pass.

When the food has been eaten, Itachi will try to get his alpha to fall asleep.

He isn’t the greatest at that, because it makes him feel very awkward to be too emotionally vulnerable, even with his mate.

He might massage his alpha if it seems like they have muscle pain, and he’ll always let them decide how to cuddle in bed if they want to do so, but Itachi’s main show of love and comfort is just being there for his mate. 

If they are in pain, he will always try his hardest to be there, because they are his happiness and reason to live rather than just survive.

“Come here,” you whine, making a very weak grabby hand towards Itachi. “I missed you, I want to cuddle.”

Itachi lets out a breathy laugh but continues to fuss over the bandages he had just tied.

“You’re injured.”

“And you’ll make me feel better,” you grin, refusing to give up on coaxing him to lay with you. Itachi only shakes his head in exasperation, but he still decides to slip into bed beside you regardless. You immediately try and pull him into an embrace, but he lets out a little reprimanding growl and pulls away.

“Be careful,” he admonishes, a disappointed frown on his face. “You’re still hurt.” Itachi pulls the same face every time he tells you off and it’s always adorable. You reach a hand up to smooth his furrowed brows.

“If you frown too much, your face will get stuck this way.”

Itachi hits you with an unimpressed look, but still lays down next to you as you had requested.

“But it’s okay,” you continue, voice getting softer as you relax against your mate who was now laying next to you. “I’ll still love you, even if your face is stuck in a frown. It suits you.”

“Does it now?” Itachi asks, sounding amused and exasperated.

You nod against his chest, reaching out an arm to grip on to his shirt despite the aching in your arm. Your whole body felt like one giant bruise, but Itachi’s scent was slowly pushing the hurt away.

“You need some sleep to recuperate.”

“Hypocrite,” you murmur, slowly drifting to sleep.

“Sleep,” he commands, the amusement slipping through. “I will change your bandages in the morning.”

[luthienne]

do u have any poems/works/just any words at all about feeling like your body isn’t yours or like it’s your enemy?? i’m in a battle with gender dysphoria and rn it’s winning and i hate it

dear anon.... i have felt like my body is my enemy, like it does nothing but betray me and do what i don’t want and try to protect me in all the wrong ways, but i think for different reasons. and so i don’t know that my coping strategies would help and i don’t want to assume anything of your own experiences... but most of these are words that speak to me when i am feeling at war w my own body and i hope they help at all... i’m sending you so much love <3

“I’m not sure it is possible to articulate grief through language. You can say, I was so sad I thought my bones would collapse. I thought I would die. But language always falls short of the body when it comes to the intensity of corporeal experience. The best we can do is bring language in relationship to corporeal experience—bring words close to the body—as close as possible. Close enough to shatter them. Or close enough to knock a body out. To bring language close to the intensity of experiences like love or death or grief or pain is to push on the affect of language. Its sounds and grunts and ecstatic noises. The ritual sense of language. Or the cry.”

— Lidia Yuknavitch, The Chronology of Water

“I have always tried to make a home for myself, but I have not felt at home in myself. I have worked hard at being the hero of my own life, but every time I checked the register of displaced persons, I was still on it. I didn’t know how to belong. Longing? Yes. Belonging? No.”

— Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

“These days, someone else / inhabits this body, perhaps / someone you do not want to be. / The soliloquy of these thoughts  / all amassing to one, is bluest too: / you are not you.”

“Who knows you, knows / this, this thing hidden / beneath your skin? / See how it glows at night / when everyone else is asleep / in a dreamless world, see how / it seems to breathe a different air, / and exhale only poison, like the / greenest plant in an empty room. / There’s the metaphor / you’ve been looking for: / you are the empty room. / And now sit: / your poison is just settling in.”

“...and this kind of sorrow does not let you be / who you want to be,”

— Mahtem Shiferraw, from Your Body is War

“I even distrust my own shadow,”

— Frida Kahlo, ‘You are always with me: Letters to mama,’ c. 1st January 1931

“I wake with my hand held over the place of grief in my body. / ‘Depend on nothing,’ the voice advises, but even that is useless. / My ears are useless, my familiar and intimate tongue. / My protecting hand is useless, that wants to hold the single leaf to the tree / and say, Not this one, this one will be saved.”

— Jane Hirshfield, from After

“Today I forgot what it was I went looking for, my own face, or the shape of something I should love. I just watched the leaves gather around my feet, their small dead selves lighter now, unselved. Perhaps this is part of it, a willingness to forget the way the world has touched our bodies sharply,”

— Molly McCully Brown & Susannah Nevison, Post-Op Letters in the Field Between Us

“My friend and I call grief the beautiful terrible because it is a wound that opens you but also shows you the miracles of what is inside you. Rather than try to escape my griefs, I’m trying to recognize them as a wildness I can submerge myself in, to be washed clean by the very thing that aches me so deeply. To give my grief to a beloved’s body, to take her grief into my body, to rearrange ourselves with it and become both more and less of one another and of our own selves—this is a lucky thing.”

— Natalie Diaz

“How to explain that “trans” may work well enough as shorthand, but the quickly developing mainstream narrative it evokes (“born in the wrong body,” necessitating an orthopedic pilgrimage between two fixed destinations) is useless for some - but partially, or even profoundly, useful for others? That for some, “transitioning” may mean leaving one gender entirely behind, while for others it doesn’t? …How to explain, in a culture frantic for resolution, that sometimes the shit stays messy? I do not want the female gender that has been assigned to me at birth. Neither do I want the male gender that transsexual medicine can furnish and that the state will award me if I behave in the right way. I don’t want any of it. How to explain that for some, or for some at some times, this irresolution is OK - desirable, even - whereas for others, or for others at some times, it stays a source of conflict or grief? How does one get across the fact that the best way to find out how people feel about their gender or their sexuality is to listen to what they tell you, and to try to treat them accordingly, without shellacking over their version of reality with yours?”

— Maggie Nelson, The Argonauts

[organabanana]

What spring does to cherry trees || Supercorp

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: None

Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor

Characters: Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor

Additional Tags: mostly fluff, with some porn for flair, pre-canon, but also, post-canon, tooth-rotting fluff.

Summary: I want to do with you what spring does to cherry trees. What does that even mean? It's taking a simple I love you and putting lead-lined glasses on it to keep its power contained. No offense, Mr. Neruda, but that's just weak. Kara doesn't like poetry. Until she does.

Notes: Written for a very patient anon who prompted me with “Seeing the cherry blossoms in Washington DC” but I got sidetracked by Neruda and my favorite of his poems and it turned into This.  It's poem number fourteen, found in "Veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada" (Twenty love poems and a song of despair) by Pablo Neruda, which you can read here (Spanish) or here (English). I mostly translated the lines I needed myself, so I can't guarantee they'll match the official translation (I'm also not sure there is such a thing as an official translation, so there's that). With special thanks to the most patient anon in history for the prompt, to @lavenderrry for praising my vibes, and to @emiltons for the gorgeous graphic.

[ao3 link]

The first time Kara encounters Neruda's poetry she's nineteen and bored. In her defense, she thought taking a poetry class would make her feel sophisticated and cultured, but all she feels is annoyed at the insistence of using language to obscure your message rather than share it.

And yes, yes, she gets it. It all sounds very pretty and evocative. It's just Kara has been hiding her true self in plain sight for the last six years, and she can't understand why anyone would willingly and needlessly do that to themselves. To their feelings. She may never have been in love, but Kara is pretty sure if she ever is -- if her heart ever feels full to the brim with the kind of big feelings her professor keeps making them read in metaphors and symbolism -- she'll want to make them clear as day.

I want to do with you what spring does to cherry trees.

What does that even mean?

It's taking a simple I love you and putting lead-lined glasses on it to keep its power contained.

No offense, Mr. Neruda, but that's just weak.

***

Kara doesn't take any more poetry classes, and she doesn't think of Neruda (or any other poet, for that matter) for years. She has so many other things to think about. She moves to National City and starts working for Ms. Grant. She grows into herself, she thinks. She becomes Supergirl and feels more like herself than she has since her pod left Krypton. She dates, a little bit. Dips her toe in the dating pool, if you will. She meets Lena Luthor.

And that's the second time she runs into Neruda. Right there on a shelf in Lena's living room, on a book that looks well loved and well read, spine full of small cracks and lines from being opened over and over again. Kara has always thought you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their shelves.  

"Pablo Neruda," Kara says, one finger tracing a line down the spine of the book like she's trying to read something in the pattern of the cracks, "I didn't know you liked poetry."

"I don't dislike it." Lena's heels click-clack on the hardwood floor before she sets the bottle of wine and two glasses on the coffee table and sits on the couch. "Have you made up your mind on what we're going to watch?"

Kara can hear the faint electrical hum of the TV being turned on, but she's a bit too distracted by the book to focus on deciding whether tonight is a night for a romantic comedy or an epic drama. She couldn't say exactly why this book feels important. It just does. Maybe it's because Lena keeps so much of herself hidden somewhere not even Kara's X-Ray vision can reach, and finding little clues about her thoughts and feelings feels a lot like she's struck gold.

Yeah. Maybe that's why.

Her fascination with the book only grows when she pulls it out of the shelf only to find the title written in Spanish. "Veinte poemas de amor--"

"And a song of despair," Lena finishes in English. "Atonement? I've heard good things about it."

"No way. I said I could be persuaded to watch a tear jerker, but I did not sign up for actual depression." Kara brings the book along when she walks over to sit down next to Lena. She's so focused on the book, still, that she miscalculates her landing just by an inch or so and her thigh bumps against Lena's as she settles on the couch. But Lena doesn't move away, and Kara figures there's no reason why she should. They're friends, after all. Close friends. Figuratively and now very, very literally close.

"I didn't know you spoke Spanish." Kara speaks again, breaking the silence before it solidifies into something potentially awkward.

"I don't. It's a bilingual edition. Can we please pick a movie?"

Kara would love to do exactly what Lena wants. In fact, giving Lena everything she wants has become sort of a constant in this fledgling friendship between them. It just feels nice, you know? Giving her what she wants and making her smile. But this book. It's all so very distracting.

"So. Do you prefer the twenty love poems, or the song of despair?"

Lena rolls her eyes, but she can't quite hide the amused smirk behind the glass when she sips her wine, so Kara knows she's not nearly as annoyed as she's trying to appear.

"What is it with you and Neruda? I didn't know you were a poetry fan."

Kara scoffs. "I'm not." She still remembers the feeling of relief washing over her when she saw her passing grade on that stupid course and realized she'd never have to read another line of poetry in her life. "I don't even like poetry. I'm just curious, that's all."

Lena cocks one eyebrow at her. Studies her, in a way that makes color rise to Kara's cheeks and has her wondering if Lena can see through people, too. 

"Anyway!" Kara shakes her head like she's hoping that'll make the blush fade. "The love poems, or the song of despair?"

"The poems," Lena finally concedes, "and I'm very surprised you don't like poetry. You seem the type."

"What?" Kara is already thumbing through the edge of the book, trying to find the place where it'll open naturally and hopefully show her which of the twenty love poems Lena happens to like the most. "What does that even mean?"

"Well, you have a big heart. Big feelings." Lena looks into Kara's eyes like she's trying to read all those feelings right there in shades of blue, and Kara finds herself looking down at the book just in case. Just in case all those big feelings she can't even name herself are there for Lena to read. "Seems like a recipe for liking poetry."

Kara shakes her head and pushes her glasses up, just in case. Just in case the lead in them can shield more than just her powers. And just as she's about to argue -- just as she's about to tell Lena precisely why she doesn't like poetry -- she opens her book and her gaze lands on a familiar phrase.

"Quiero hacer contigo," she reads out loud from the page on the left, and her fingertip is already finding the next verse on the right when Lena finishes for her.

"What spring does to cherry trees."

If Kara was just Kara Danvers, she'd have missed it all. She'd have just heard her best friend speak a line from a poem that -- much like most poems -- means very little to her. But she's not just Kara Danvers. So Kara hears the way Lena's heart beats just a little bit faster. The way her breath catches just so. The exact fraction of a tone her voice drops when she speaks. The faintest hint of a sigh.

"See? This is why I don't like poetry." Kara chances a look into green eyes, and she's so very grateful Lena has no superhearing to tip her off to the way Kara's heart seems to trip all over itself.  "'I want to do with you what spring does to cherry trees'. What does that mean?"

Kara swears -- she swears -- she catches Lena's pupils dilating just enough to make her think she knows exactly what the poem means. 

"It's not about what it means, Kara. It's about what it makes you feel." Lena lets out a soft chuckle, something light and airy like this is just a silly little conversation with no weight to it at all. Like she can't feel the way the air itself seems to have changed into something new. 

"Is it your favorite line?" Kara pretends she can't hear the way her own voice has changed, too.

Lena shakes her head. "No. My favorite is actually--"

Kara hears the DEO alarm before Lena's fingertip can make contact with the paper, and she almost considers ignoring it. She almost considers letting whatever danger is looming over this whole city have at it because finding out what's Lena's favorite line in her favorite poem seems far more important right now.

But of course, that would be crazy. Crazy! Kara would never.

"I'm so sorry, Lena, I--" Kara stands up, already hearing Alex's voice telling her where she's needed as she pulls her phone out of her pocket and pretends to read a text, "I have to go. I forgot I had this thing with--"

"Go." Lena's smile is just small enough to make Kara's heart twist in an uncomfortable way that's become familiar since she started lying to her friend. "Sounds important. I understand."

Kara nods, just once. "Tomorrow?"

Lena's smile doesn't grow, but it suddenly reaches her eyes, and something settles in Kara's chest. "Of course. Tomorrow."

Five hours later, foe defeated and safely locked away at the DEO, Supergirl touches down on Lena's balcony. There isn't a single light on inside the apartment, and Kara hesitates for a second by the sliding glass door. She shouldn't sneak into Lena's apartment in the middle of the night. That's a little creepy, right? Even if she knows Lena's said over and over again Kara's welcome any time.

It's just.

That book.

Lena's favorite line.

Kara may never be able to sleep again if she doesn't find out what it is.

So with a non-zero amount of shame at her own choice, Kara ends up sliding the door open and slipping into Lena's living space. She listens for Lena's breathing to make sure she's asleep, and once she's satisfied that's the case she makes a beeline for the shelf and the now-familiar book. It doesn't take her long to find the page she'd been reading before, and soon enough she's reading the lines Lena had been pointing to.

How you must have hurt getting used to me, to my savage, solitary soul, to my name that sends everyone running.

The words wrap around Kara's heart like a vice. If she could do it without blowing her cover and putting Lena in danger, she'd go in her room right now just to wake her up and tell her what Kara thinks about her soul. About her name, too, while she's at it. She'd tell her everyone else is free to run if they want, but Kara isn't going anywhere. 

But she can't do any of those things. 

***

The two lines stay with Kara, sort of swirling under the surface of her thoughts. She never actively thinks about them -- about poetry in general, for that matter -- but they're there. 

She remembers them sometimes. When their friendship grows and strengthens and one day Kara realizes Lena may be the person she loves the most in the world (tied with Alex). When the secrets and lies catch up with her and she thinks she may have lost Lena for good. When she finally gets Lena back.

It's been five years since she snuck into Lena's apartment that one night to find out about her favorite line in her favorite poem. Five years since she's actively thought about Neruda and the book and the words inside it. But for some reason, when Kara wakes up a couple hours earlier than she needs to and finds herself unable to sleep, she feels like that's precisely what she needs to read to soothe her brain. Maybe poetry will have the same sedative effect it used to have in college.

Wearing only an old t-shirt, Kara walks out of the bedroom and into the living area, scanning the shelves where she thinks she last saw that book. It's hard to keep track when your book collection has multiplied and turned into more of a home library situation than anything else, but she eventually finds it -- spine still cracked and pages still well-loved and well-read -- and settles down on the couch.

Kara flips from poem to poem, not really paying attention to any of them. A line from the third and then two from the eighteenth and a word or two from the seventh, eyes flicking between the Spanish lines and their English counterparts on the other side of the page. It's soothing, in a strange way. Like white noise, she figures. Nonsensical but calming. Until she lands on the fourteenth. 

"Oh, those cherry trees," Kara half-groans in a whisper. The cherry trees and the spring and the convoluted way to say I love you. And Lena's favorite lines. 

Kara feels it all over again. The pang of pain at the sight of that line.

My name that sends everyone running.

It lands different this time, five years into a friendship that turned out to be so much more and nearly went up in flames at one point. Because of names and lies and... well. Everything else. Lena was right after all, wasn't she? It's not about what the poem means. It's about what it makes you feel. And right now Kara feels a lot more than she'd be able to put in words if she had to.

Maybe Mr. Neruda was on to something after all.

"Hey," Lena's voice is laced with sleep, and Kara smiles as she listens to her footsteps bringing her closer, "what are you doing? It's the middle of the night."

Kara wouldn't call it the middle of the night -- more like a very early morning, really -- but she's not about to argue. "Reading. I couldn't sleep."

"Everything all right?" Lena reaches the back of the couch and makes the most of the rare height advantage over her girlfriend to press a kiss to the top of blond hair. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

Kara opens her arms before Lena can even think about sitting next to her instead, and smiles at the familiar weight of Lena sliding onto her lap. Even as she shrugs off Lena's question, Kara is already burying her face against the soft skin of her girlfriend's neck, breathing her in and letting the familiar scent filling her lungs soothe her like no amount of poetry ever could.

"Kara," Lena's fingers slide into blond hair, blunt fingernails scratching at Kara's scalp and making her hum in delight, "that's not an answer."

"No reason. I'm just not tired anymore I guess." A deep, content sigh. "Baby, you're so good at that."

There's still a slight crease between Lena's eyebrows, but that doesn't stop the smile Kara's praise brings to her face. "You'd tell me if I had to worry?"

Reluctantly, Kara pulls away from the warmth of Lena's neck. Her arms wrap around Lena's waist as she looks into green eyes. "You know I would."

And Kara watches Lena let the words sink in. They've had this conversation before, and Kara knows they'll have it again. They both have sore spots that need special care from time to time. And just to keep Lena's mind from going down any sort of rabbit hole, Kara decides it's time to continue a conversation they left unfinished five years ago.

"It didn't hurt at all, you know. Getting used to you." Kara shows Lena the book she's been holding, and grins when Lena smirks as the reference clicks.

"I thought you didn't like poetry," Lena chides, taking the book and flipping through the pages until she lands -- unsurprisingly, if you ask Kara -- back on poem fourteen.

"I don't. It's like... giving feelings a secret identity."

Lena arches one eyebrow, looking somewhere between amused and curious. "Care to explain?"

"Well, you know," Kara leans in to steal a quick, soft kiss, "say I want to kiss you. I can just say it. That's better than hiding it behind some kind of... flowery metaphor that'll make you wonder if I'm even saying that in the first place. Right?"

There's this look on Lena's face. Kara knows it well. It's like a challenge. Like she's playing chess and she's already thinking six moves ahead and knows you're toast whatever you do from that point on. Kara finds it nothing short of delicious.

"So you're saying," Lena says, and there's victory right there simmering under the surface of her words because she knows -- she knows -- she's won, "you'd rather I say 'this is a lovely sunrise we get to see together'," Lena's gaze drops to the open book in her hand to refresh her memory on the line she's about to quote, but she makes sure she's looking into blue eyes once again when she speaks, "than 'so many times we've watched the morning star burn, kissing our eyes, and over our heads the grey light unwind in turning fans', right?"

Kara swallows, hard. Her cheeks burn with a blush that will simply not be contained, no matter how hard she tries to keep some semblance of dignity. Her mouth feels dry all of a sudden, heart beating just fast enough -- hard enough -- that she's sure even Lena's plain human hearing can pick it up. And the look on her girlfriend's face lets Kara know she knows exactly what's currently happening to her.

"W-- well." Kara blinks, shaking her head like she's trying to physically clear the fog inside. To her credit, she thinks she manages to sound more indignant than turned on. "I mean that's unfair. You made it hot."

Lena lets out a delighted chuckle that hits Kara right in her heart, like a little pinball ball making it ding with the knowledge that Lena Luthor is happy enough to laugh. Really, truly laugh. 

"What?" Lena asks, still grinning, fingertips teasing the soft hairs at the back of Kara's neck like it's nothing -- like she doesn't know what she's doing to her. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Ohh no, ma'am," Kara grins, cheeks still burning with the feeling simmering down low in her belly but too charmed by her girlfriend's teasing smile to stop, "you don't get to pretend you didn't do that on purpose."

"Kara," Lena says, in that way, because she knows, she knows, she knows Kara's weaknesses so perfectly well, and Kara wouldn't have it any other way, "I was just quoting Neruda, I didn't do anything."

"You did the voice thing!" 

"What voice th-- Kara, if you can't just admit plain language and poetic language are simply not on the same level I--"

"You purred the words! How is that fair!?"

Kara presses her lips together like she can retroactively keep the words from exiting her mouth. Too late, though. Lena looks positively delighted.

"I purred the words?" Lena echoes, barely able to keep a straight face. Actually, you know what? Scratch that. She's openly pleased with herself. Smug, even.

"I mean. I mean," Kara says, and she touches the bridge of her nose with one fingertip because for a moment she's forgotten there are no glasses to push up at all, "obviously it's not the same. Poetry and prose, they're inherently--"

"Different, right," Lena finishes Kara's thought, "so you see how you'd use one or the other depending on how emotionally charged--"

Kara shakes her head. "But you don't need flowery metaphors to convey emotion! You can just say what you mean and mean what you say."

"But you just said it yourself. It felt different when I just said it's a sunset, and when I quoted--"

"You purred poetry at me, Lena, of course I'm going to feel a certain kind of way!"

And there it is. Kara feels it in her bones. The checkmate Lena had seen coming a mile away. She sees it right there in the smirk on her girlfriend's face. In the way Lena's pupils dilate just so. The way her tongue peeks out to lick her lips as she looks at Kara like she's lunch.

Or, you know. Breakfast, as the case may be.

"You feel a certain kind of way?" Lena shifts on Kara's lap and they've been together for long enough that Kara absolutely knows there's nothing innocent or coincidental in the way Lena's night shirt (Kara's high school gym t-shirt, mind you) rides up to expose Lena's lace-covered ass. "What kind of way is that, Supergirl?"

Kara perks up at the sound of her name. Her other name. Because maybe it wasn't checkmate after all. Maybe it was just check. Because the thing is, it's not just Lena knowing all of Kara's weaknesses. That knowledge very much goes both ways. And Lena calling her Supergirl? 

Oh, Kara is absolutely not the only one who's feeling a certain way.

"You know." Kara shrugs slightly, pretending to still be the mouse in this little game. She rests one hand on Lena's knee and lets her palm slide up her thigh, slowly, listening to Lena's heartbeat speeding up with each inch of skin Kara explores. "You know the way I mean."

Lena's breath hitches just so when Kara's hand slides further up, and Kara savors the sound of Lena's heart tripping over itself when her fingertips drag along damp lace.

"You're listening, aren't you?" Lena cocks her eyebrow, but her lips stay parted and her breathing comes in short, warm puffs so the whole thing really doesn't come off as stern as Kara is sure Lena would like. 

"Hmm?" Kara knows she's probably pushing her luck, but she bats her eyelashes anyway, her face the very picture of innocence as if her fingertips weren't tracing the very edge of Lena's panties, hinting at what they could (will) do if she just happened to push that fabric aside. "Listening to what, baby?"

Lena tries not to -- Kara can see the struggle right there in her eyes -- but she whimpers anyway, quiet and just barely audible to the human ear. 

"Kara." It tries to sound like a warning, but it falls just this side of pleading instead. Lena blushes so very pretty when she's feeling a certain kind of way.

"Yes, Lena?" 

"You're listening," a breath, slow and measured like she wishes she could take in a deep one but her lungs can't quite cope with that right now, "to me."

"Well, I mean," Kara shrugs slightly, like she can't feel the warmth of Lena's pussy against her fingertips, "I try to. I feel like it's good girlfriend etiquette."

Lena is trying so hard to look at least moderately annoyed. It's not working at all, but Kara can see that's her intent. She also knows exactly what Lena means, too. She means Kara is listening to her. To the beat of her heart and the air in her lungs and all the tiny, inaudible (for everyone else) sounds that tell her exactly how much Lena wants her. 

"You're listening to what you're doing to me." Lena drops the book on the floor to wrap both hands around Kara's neck, hips shifting forward just enough to get more contact with Kara's hand between her legs. Kara knows Lena doesn't need superhearing to notice the way Kara's breath catches in her throat. 

"And what am I doing to you, baby?" Kara won't cross the barrier of Lena's panties just yet, but her fingers becomes more purposeful, less teasing as two fingertips press against Lena's clit through damp lace. Lena's eyes flutter closed and she takes in a sharp breath that sounds almost like a gasp, and Kara rewards such a gorgeous sound with a kiss to Lena's jaw. "What Spring does to cherry trees?"

Lena must feel Kara's teasing grin even if she can't see it, because she lets out a breathless chuckle even as her hips start rocking to meet the movements of Kara's fingers. "Just admit poetry can express richer emotions than prose ever cou--"

Kara's mouth is on Lena's before she can finish her thought, and Kara would maybe feel a bit guilty for interrupting, but Lena's fingers fist in blond hair and pull her close and there's no way someone who's offended would kiss her like that. And Kara isn't even listening anymore, because Lena's tongue is in her mouth and all she can hear is her own heart thumping along anyway.

When she breaks the kiss, Lena keeps Kara close. She's panting slightly, breath hot and wet against Kara's lips and pupils so dilated Kara wonders if she can see her at all. A quiet, hitched moan escapes parted lips, and Kara swears there's nothing in the world -- in the universe, really -- more beautiful than Lena when she's like this. Like putty in her hands. And Kara just can't resist. 

"Admit you purred," she whispers against kiss-swollen lips, knowing if there's one chance for her to win an argument with her girlfriend this must be it. When she has Lena rocking against her fingers, wet and wanting and just the right amount of needy to get her to give in, for once. 

"Kara." It's practically a whine, and Kara swears it sounds like victory. Until she sees the glint in her girlfriend's eyes, and Lena gets her checkmate move after all. "Shut up and fuck me."

Kara feels the words rather than hears them. They hit right between her legs and spread all over her body, and you know what? Kara really is okay with losing under these particular circumstances.

Two fingers hook under the crotch of Lena's panties and Kara tugs lightly, almost like she's testing the strength of the lacy fabric. "Do you really like the..." Kara's voice trails off as Lena pulls the t-shirt up and over her head, blue eyes staring unabashedly at her girlfriends breasts as she struggles to finish her thought, "...these?"

It's just polite to ask before tearing someone's panties to shreds, if you ask her, even if you're currently transfixed at the sight of her breasts.

"I don't care." Lena's voice is doing that thing again, except this time Kara is pretty sure she's not doing it on purpose at all, it's just that's what Lena sounds like when she needs Kara now and isn't that just the best thing ever? "Baby, please, I don't care."

Kara doesn't know if she rips the panties off first and then leans in to catch Lena's left nipple with her mouth or if it happens the other way around, but she honestly doesn't care either, as it turns out. All she knows is two fingers slip inside Lena in one smooth, firm thrust, and her free hand grabs Lena's right breast, and then--

"More," Lena moans, breathy and greedy, but when Kara starts thrusting harder into her Lena shakes her head, "no, no-- more fingers," and Kara lets out a quiet whimper around the stiff nipple between her teeth. 

Kara pulls her fingers out of Lena and stretches her ring finger to join the first two before sliding them back inside. Her movements are slow and careful, all of her senses focused on detecting even the slightest hint of discomfort in her girlfriend until her three fingers are fully inside Lena. 

"Go on, Supergirl." 

Lena's tone is just the right amount of teasing to make Kara chuckle lightly, mouth leaving Lena's breast to trail kisses up her sternum and to the freckles on her neck as her arm starts pumping once again. She's so very close, Kara can tell, and even more so when she turns her wrist just so to press the pad of her thumb against Lena's clit.

Lena's fingers dig into Kara's scalp, into the strong muscle at her shoulder as Lena holds on and rides Kara's hand, hips rocking hard and fast in time with Kara's thrusts. Kara couldn't listen to any one thing if she tried. It's a symphony of sighs and moans, whimpers and ragged breaths and stuttering heartbeats that nearly overwhelms her senses until she feels Lena clench around her fingers, hips losing their rhythm as Lena comes with Kara's name on her lips.

Kara pulls her face away from Lena's neck just so she can look at her. Watch her come around her fingers and then relax, chest heaving with the effort of trying to catch her breath. Kara swears there can't be a more beautiful sight in the universe, especially not now, with the sun rising and bathing Lena's damp skin in early morning light. And as much as Kara tries to suppress it, there's a thought running through her head. A line from that stupid poem with its stupid cherry trees.

A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body... 

"You're thinking very loudly," Lena whispers, already resting her head on Kara's shoulder as her fingertips play with the hem of Kara's shirt, "what are you thinking?"

For a second, Kara considers telling her, but Neruda's words aren't what comes out when she opens her mouth. "Just how beautiful you look," she says, which is in fact the truth. Kind of. She can't let Lena win every single time, right?

***

"Apparently the first cherry trees got here in 1910, but they had to burn them all because of a bunch of insects." Kara holds the little guide book in her hand as she reads, her other hand safely in Lena's as they walk along the Tidal Basin. "These ones are newer, from 1912."

 "Oh, like the Titanic!" Lena looks delighted with the coincidence, and the bright smile on her face makes Kara lean in to steal a kiss from her lips. Her fiancée is super cute when she lets her inner dork show, if you ask Kara.

"See? I told you buying an actual guide book would be worth it!" Kara holds the small book in her hand with the pride of someone who's just won an argument (for once). "Where else are you going to get that kind of high quality trivia?"

"You do know the prototype L-Corp keychain I gave you last week can access Google, yes?"

"Not the same."

"Not to mention the actual supercomputers we all carry around in our pockets. Or the high-tech communicator in your wat--"

"Lena!" Kara groans. "Look around! The cherry blossoms! The quaintness of springtime! A romantic stroll along the river! Where's your sense of romance?"

Lena chuckles lightly, her free hand sliding up Kara's arm to wrap around her bicep. And Kara would complain about the obvious use of one of her many Lena-related weaknesses, but you know what? It works.

"Kara Danvers," Lena says, voice low and teasing, "that's all very poetic."

Kara rolls her eyes, but she can't quite stop the bright smile that's already appearing on her face. "Don't you start with me," she warns, not very convincingly. 

Lena presses a kiss to Kara's shoulder, and it makes color rise to Kara's cheeks even through the soft fabric of her cardigan. Even after all these years. But she figures if there's one day to be particularly enamored with one's fiancée, that's the day she's scheduled to receive a Presidential Award for her contributions to science and the betterment of humanity.

Not to brag. But Kara is proud.

"I love you," Kara says, because she can't not, "and I'm just so proud, I--"

Lena presses a finger to Kara's lips, stopping what was potentially about to turn into a whole speech about the many ways in which Lena Luthor could not possibly be any more perfect if she tried. 

"Kara," Lena warns, all cocked eyebrow and slightly pursed lips, "you promised. You promised you wouldn't cry before the actual ceremony."

And Kara would argue. She'd argue that she's perfectly capable of going on about Lena's many virtues without actually crying, but you know what? Her eyes are feeling just a tiny bit misty already so she's just gonna go ahead and trust Lena on this one.

"You know what I also love?" Kara presses a kiss to the pad of Lena's finger and obediently changes subjects. "Sushi. Let's go get some." Kara starts walking away from the beautiful soft pink trees and in the general direction of the street festival, tugging Lena along. She's all for the romance of blossom-watching, but she'd be lying if she said hearing about the culinary side of this whole festival hadn't excited her a bit more than that.

It's only when she hears a sigh coming from Lena that Kara's focus shifts from food to the woman next to her. That wasn't a happy sigh. 

"Are you okay, baby?"

Lena smiles. It's not a fake smile, but there's a hint of something in it that isn't fully happy, either. "Yes. Yes, I'm fine. It's just... between the cherry blossoms and all this talk of sushi, I guess it made me a bit nostalgic for Sendai." 

"Sendai?" Kara looks at Lena with curiosity written all over her face. "What's Sendai?"

"Oh, it's a city in Japan. I lived there for a few months for an exchange when I was in college. Did I never tell you?" Kara shakes her head, her face the picture of delight at getting to learn something new about Lena. "There was this little restaurant near Tohokudai, I swear they had the best sushi in the world." Lena hums, letting her eyes flutter closed for a second like she's trying to imagine the taste. "I'd do anything for some negitoro maki from that place right about now."

Kara listens intently to her fiancée's words. She knows it's just a silly little comment. She knows Lena will be perfectly happy eating the undoubtedly delicious sushi currently being sold at the street festival. And yet.

She can't resist a chance to make Lena just that little bit happier, can she? 

So Kara looks around to make sure they're not being watched, and lets go of Lena's hand. "Be right back."

"Where are you--?"

But all Lena gets is a quick kiss and a gust of wind on her face before Kara disappears.

She's only gone for a couple of minutes -- just enough for Lena to wander back towards the cherry trees -- and when she comes back she's holding a small box which she immediately presents to Lena.

"Sushi for my... sushi," Kara lets out a chuckle, her now-free hand coming up to scratch at the back of her head like she's aware she may have gone just a little bit overboard but she's hoping it won't be too much, "Sendai's beautiful, by the way."

Lena's smile is soft, and Kara has a feeling -- not to toot her own horn -- if she'd been listening she would've heard Lena's heart skip a beat. 

"Kara Danvers," Lena sighs, shaking her head like that'll do anything to hide just how charmed she is right now, "you're something el-- what's that?"

"Nothing," Kara shifts slightly and puts her hand -- and the little carton box it's holding -- behind her back, fully intending on letting the focus of this moment be on her romantic gesture, but Lena raises one eyebrow and Kara loses her resolve. "Potstickers." Kara's voice is quiet as she shows Lena the box. "What? I was in the neighborhood!"

"In the neighborhood of," Lena squints slightly as she reads the words on the box, "Shanghai?"

"Well, China is next door to Japan, if you think about it."

Lena chuckles, clearly too charmed by this whole thing to even continue teasing Kara about it. "Thank you. For this. You didn't actually have to fly all the way to Japan to get my favorite sushi, but I appreciate it."

Kara shrugs, chopsticks already grabbing the first potsticker in the box. "I'd go way farther than Japan to make you happy. You know that."

"I do know," Lena nods, looking just a little thoughtful, like she's just now realizing she fully believes Kara would stop at nothing to make her happy, "you even promised when you proposed."

Lena wiggles her finger, flashing the kryptium ring that's been there for a few weeks now along with a teasing smile, and Kara can only shrug. "Well, I meant it," she says, popping the potsticker in her mouth and leaning against the trunk of a nearby cherry tree.

"I know," Lena says again, but this time she's smiling, amusement shining in her eyes, "if only Lex had figured out the one true way to have the world in the palm of your hand is to make a Kryptonian fall in love with you."

"To be fair, I really don't think your brother is Kal's type."

***

Eight hours later, they're seeing the Tidal Basin from above, the cherry blossoms looking nearly white in the moonlight. They could be in National City already, but Kara figures there's no reason why she can't take the scenic route with Lena in her arms and enjoy the view without the crowds and the bustle they experienced earlier today. Perks of being your own private jet.

"Go a bit lower, baby," Lena's voice is soft against Kara's ear, like she's afraid if she speaks too loud she'll break the spell and they won't feel like the only two people in the world anymore, "I want to see the flowers."

Kara doesn't make her wait. Lena's just been awarded an actual medal by the President, and spoiling her a little is the least Kara can do. So she dips until they're hovering just above the soft pink blossoms and then a little lower still, close enough that Lena can smell the sweet, fresh scent of Spring.

The night is clear and quiet, just cool enough for Lena to reach for Kara's cape and pull it forward to wrap it around herself. Kara holds her a little closer, just enough to hopefully provide a bit of extra warmth, and she figures it was the right move when Lena slips one arm from under Kara's cape to reach for the tree and pick a particularly pretty blossom from one of the branches that's closer to them.

Lena looks at it for a moment, twirling the little stem between her fingers like she's pondering what to do with it. And then she turns and tucks Kara's hair behind her ear, sliding the small flower between soft blond strands and smiling when she's satisfied it'll stay exactly where she wants it.

"Happy?" Kara chuckles, something soft and quiet and a little teasing because there's something equal parts amusing and endearing about Lena's perfectionism when it comes to silly little things like putting a flower in Kara's hair.

"Very."

And there's something about the way Lena smiles, more with her eyes than with her mouth, that makes Kara see, clear as day, just how serious Lena is. How sincere, when she says she's very happy. 

Maybe that's why Kara gets a little transfixed just looking at her, suddenly aware of just how different this Lena -- the Lena wrapped in her arms and her cape, wearing her ring and smiling with a smile that's just Kara's -- is from the Lena she first met all those years ago.

"Kara Zor-El," Lena's voice is soft just like the sound of Kara's true name on her lips, "what are you thinking about?"

And Kara wishes she had the words to tell her. But how does she even begin to explain what she's feeling right now? How she's still the same Lena that made Kara's heart trip all over itself the first time she saw her, but she's so very different all the same time. Brighter. Lighter. Loved. God, she's so loved, and Lena knows it, finally, and that's what's different, maybe. Not just Kara's love, because Lena's had that from the very first day, probably, but the fact that Lena can feel it now. 

How do you put that in words? I love you just doesn't feel like enough. 

And then it hits her.

"I'm thinking," Kara smiles, cheeks pink with the knowledge that she's just been proven wrong, "about what Spring does to cherry trees."

[charming-2d-boys]

yayy! the ask box is open!!! may I have a request on how the adultrio would do if they wanted to kiss their female crush so bad and lovingly, but their crush secretly likes them so they kissed them back😚? Thank you❤️

Ohoho, anon 😏

Here come the emotional ice cubes melting from a kiss (can you imagine that happening? ><)

Thank you for the cute request and I hope you’ll like it! 🙇

A/N: hope it’s cute enough, I really tried to make it fluffy. One of them is loosely based on a personal experience, he he 😏

Chrollo

whipped to hell and back

now Chrollo suddenly understands all those books and poems about love and romance he’s been reading

he thought they were beautiful, but probably a little exaggerated

how could a human being feel so strongly about another one?

well, turns out, they can

while the Troupe says nothing

not that Chrollo’s expression or mannerisms change much in front of them

when it comes to you, he seems… softer

like he can just breathe a little better, see the brighter side of things

those who have known him for long, like Pakunoda or Feitan, can sense the change almost instantly

Chrollo might try to act like he usually does, but even they can see that he seems a little bit distracted

plus, he spends just a bit more time on his phone than usual and sometimes smiles when he looks at the screen

he’s always amused by what you tell him

or when you send him a photo of something you saw

or thought he might like or that reminded you of him

the Spiders think it’s cute

crush or not, they know that Chrollo seems happier and it always makes them happier as well

he isn’t even sure if you like him back

you’re always friendly and affectionate with him

so he’s happy with what he can get, even if he’d want more

but he’s happy to be able to spend time with you

so when you’re both free, he invites you to hangout

he’d like to call it a date, but he’s not sure if he should tell you how he actually feels just yet

if only he knew that you were in the same situation…

you two always go to pretty interesting places and always have fun, no matter where you are

Chrollo is so happy when you’re enjoying the street food he’s bought for the both of you

you remind him of a little chipmunk

and he’s even amused when he takes a bit of the food from your cheek

which he hopes flusters you at least a little bit because it’s cute how you try to look anywhere but at him

it works, but it makes him chuckle, which you love hearing

so win-win situation

Chrollo insists on taking you home because he’s a gentleman and wants you to be safe

if there was something you’d noticed throughout your entire hangout it’s that Chrollo’s been glancing at your lips quite often

you’d checked your face subtly in the restroom and in reflective surfaces, but there was nothing

if you thought it was what it was, then you were ready

when you reach your door and turn around, Chrollo’s smiling softly

he’s still trying to steel himself to just do something and hoping it won’t make you resent him: confess, kiss you, hold your hand, hug you, anything

he’s been dreaming and imagining kissing you for so long

always replacing the characters in books with the two of you

and imagining all the romance and clichés in poems as he does them with you

Chrollo just feels like his heart won’t be able to go on for long if he doesn’t get to bring his thoughts to life

his eyes automatically go to your lips and you feel yourself smiling

you’re counting in your head until you will hug him

you wouldn’t want to kiss Chrollo and make him uncomfortable, after all

but before you’re done counting, Chrollo’s hands are on your cheeks, thumbs caressing the skin softly

and his lips are softer than you thought they might be

and whether he expects you to be surprised or not, you don’t really wait before kissing him back

well, Chrollo is actually the surprised one

he definitely didn’t expect you to react so well and so quickly

but he can’t complain

it only makes him pull you closer and deepen the kiss

it’s so easy to feel each other smile into the kiss

Hisoka

Hisoka has been “confessing” for quite some time

okay, I’m sorry, but it always makes you laugh

he just says it in such a teasing and eccentric way that it’s hard to believe him

well, that was Hisoka’s intention since the beginning

but over time, it just started becoming a little frustrating

he had thought about whether he actually liked you or not

Hisoka had taken some time away from you

it was because of something personal, but he also saw it as an experiment

during the first few days, when he was significantly busier, he barely had time to think of you, though you were still somewhere there, in the back of his mind

but you were always the last thought before sleeping and the first one when he was waking up

he’d sometimes send you some filtered selfies – his own way of reassuring you that he was okay

he honestly can’t wait to be done and come back to you

maybe he might even take you to some of the places he’s seen one day

…

Hisoka just realises that he might have a BIG tiny crush on you

the rest of the days he’s gone are spent reflecting and thinking about you

do you like him back?

do you even consider him a friend?

well, those questions will have to wait

as soon as he’s back and taken a shower, Hisoka insists on hanging out at your place

you’d insisted on having movie nights at least once a month

junk food, comfortable clothes, laziness and a nice and invigorating skin-care routine

the two of you pretty much just melt into the cushions after you’ve stuffed yourselves full

despite the invigorating face masks, you’re both pretty tired

not enough to fall asleep, but not enough to clean up the mess around you

you’re laying down on the couch, your head almost touching the side of Hisoka’s thigh while he sits upright, but a little bit slumped to the side, close to you

one of his hands is absentmindedly playing with the fingers on one of your hands

the movie playing for you isn’t the most interesting

well, your tiredness makes it even less interesting

Hisoka looks down at you and smiles a little when he notices that your eyes are closed

his hand squeezes your own before it leaves for your cheek

the touch of his fingers is almost feather-light

Hisoka’s pretty sure that you’re tired enough to answer his questions without really thinking through

(Y/N), are we friends? ♠️

Mm, ‘course we are…

And what would you say if I told you I like you? ♥️

Very funny, ‘Soka…

his expression sours a little at that

What if I’m serious this time? ♣

Sure you are… you always are…

Hisoka is actually a little annoyed

how dense could you be?

he would tease you and always make it seem like you had a crush on him

but he was actually serious for once – no smile, no teasing

too bad he didn’t realise that this was your plan ever since he’d started playing with your fingers

Then can I show you? ♦

Mhm…

he’s a little nervous, but he smirks nevertheless and licks his lips before kissing you

he probably expected you to either be shocked and hit him

or kiss him back sleepily

but you pretty much just kissed him back, a lot harder than he did

your hand cupping his cheek

his eyes were wide as he saw you open yours

and you let go of his lips, grinning mischievously

it barely lasted for a second before he was pulling you upright and in his arms, lips diving in back to yours as he smirked happily

you’d tease him about his so-called confession later

Illumi

someone help this poor guy already

yeah, so, Illumi had no idea that he even felt anything for you

for quite a while

he was a bit too dense when it came to how affectionate you were

some of your gestures were on purpose

pretty much just testing the waters

but Illumi thought that that’s how you treated everyone

so he didn’t see himself as anyone special in your life

cue face-palm

but yeah, you decided that you’d leave it at that

if it happened and Illumi would ever like you romantically, great

if not, then you’d slowly move on and remain only friends

it’s not until Hisoka jokingly asks Illumi if you’re single that he sort of stops

his fingers twitch a little, almost ready to grab his needles

and his bloodlust increases

Hisoka smirks knowingly before telling him that he was only joking

Illumi can’t stop thinking about the moment though

he keeps theorising about what it’d be like if you told him that you found someone you liked

oh, he did not like that at all

he would’ve asked you, but since you were the subject of the new… feelings he was having, it didn’t seem like such a good idea

so, on to the internet

pretty much every site he checked said the same thing: a crush on its way to becoming actual love

next level: denial

Illumi is an assassin

he doesn’t need friends

he doesn’t need love

so how did he fall for you?

not even he knows

but he knows that, as much as he denies it, he likes being around you

spending time with you, hearing you talk, hearing you laugh, especially if he made you laugh

the thoughts of taking you out and actually getting to be the only one for you slowly make him accept the situation he’s in

and the more time he spends with you, the more Illumi starts thinking about wanting to confess

you’re as affectionate and friendly as ever

and Illumi actually glares at anyone who comes close to you with the intention of flirting

that hangout of yours means the two of you go to a little ice cream parlour

Illumi’s treat, as he always insists

he’s listening to you talk about what you’ve been doing while he was away for a mission for a few days

to others, it looks like he’s zoning out, words going in one ear and out the other

but you know better

Illumi is literally hanging on to your every word, watching the way your eyes crinkle in happiness

they way your cheeks almost seem to develop dimples from how hard you’re trying not to smile too much

the way your lips move and how they look so kissable

he absentmindedly takes a spoonful of his ice cream

attention snapping to your laughter as you’re looking at him with a fond smile

you lean forward and Illumi does it too without even thinking

your intention was to wipe the side of his mouth with your napkin since he didn’t seem to have noticed the ice cream there

while he thought that you wanted to kiss him

so he did it for you instead

you were stunned for a fraction of a second before smiling and pulling him closer, hands on his cheeks

Illumi could feel his heart beat loudly in his chest

he didn’t see the shock on the other customers’ faces

honestly, neither did you

you were both a little too busy enjoying the moment

but when you laughed happily because your crush was actually mutual and you even got your first kiss with him

Illumi’s lips quirked in a little smile before he fed you some of his remaining ice cream

holding onto your hand tightly as you continued talking and occasionally kissing here and there

no one said a thing, too afraid of Illumi

good thing you weren’t

[zv5x]

Hey guys! An anon requested some Yandere ABC'S with Sen, but I had to reupload cause the formatting was wrong!!! I hope it works this time, and I hope you find it anon! Let me know if you did!

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Original text ...

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Hey Anon! Don't worry, requests are open permanently! So feel free to request as much as you want! I'm so glad you enjoy my writings, that makes me feel so happy! I hope you enjoy the ABC's prompt and I hope I did a good job! (*´ω｀*) Stay safe and take care of yourself, you're valid and loved! ( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? - Sen is a major giftgiver. So, expect him to really paint his love for you with lavish spending. Also, along with that, he's a hopeless romantic. So be sure to expect love letters and love notes to be littered around your apartment (whether or not he had permission to be where he placed them...that's up for debate). You met Senpai when you stumbled across his game, and were there to play it before you discovered a way to get him out. So, he was just as affectionate as your average visual novel character. Meaning, he's basically infinitely affectionate. He's very gentlemenly as well: kissing the top of your hand and brushing his lips against the tips of your fingers, helping you get ready each morning (he has to, considering you're literally restrained and rendered unable to do so), and other things. Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? - I always imagined Sen to be more of a yandere "stereotype" considering his source (a cheesy Japanese romance game with pretty pastel colors and overly sweet and cheesy dialogue). So, Senpai would in that case be willing to make his murders messy. Their lives don't matter to Senpai, and he'll gladly paint a pretty picture of romance with their blood. He'd do anything to emphasize the fact that you belong to him and him alone. Not to those filthy, impure worms. Cruelty: How would they treat their darling when they're abducted? Would they mock them? - Senpai has a bit of an ego problem. So, if he feels it necessary, he'll gladly make you feel inferior to him. "Out of the hundreds of people in the school, you're the one that I long for so strongly. Shouldn't you be greatful for that? I'm sure there's people willing to eat themselves alive just to be in your place." Among other similar statements. Senpai isn't physically cruel unless giving out punishments for "bad behavior", so that's something to be greatful about I suppose. Even with the taunts and reprimands he speaks to you, he doesn't really mean them. Especially the ones about you being inferior in any regard. You're the definition of perfection in his eyes, to the extent he doesn't even really see himself being worthy of your love. But, nobody else is either. While he's not 100% worthy of an angel like you being by his side, he's more worthy than the people that surround the two of you. Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? - Just like Spirit, the only other things he'd do against your will is take away your rights to freedom, family, friends, along with some other similar things. He doesn't want to traumatize you, and as much as his actions contradict the idea that he's far from a monster, he's truly not. He just wants what's best for your love. Is that really something that's worthy of him being called a monster? Senpai doesn't think so, not one bit. Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? - All of it. His heart is an open book. Senpai wants to woo you, he wants you to know how adored you truly are. He wants you to know how much space you take up in his heart, and he'll do anything to show that to you. Whether it be by taking you out to a nice dinner after you've been on your best behavior for a while, or by murdering past enemies or foes, Sen will do virtually anything Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? - Completely and utterly heartbroken. How could you, (Y/N)? Here he is, your precious and beloved Senpai, just wanting to take care of you, and this is the thanks he get's? Senpai's little heart will be absolutely crushed, and he'll be sure

to let you know that, even while he's angerly punishing you. Being the main love interest is literally in his code, basically the A.I. equivalent to DNA. He's not used to not winning a person's heart the minute he expresses interest, especially the heart of someone he's putting all his effort into romantically seducing. Senpai will go ballistic after such a rejection, throwing the closest thing to a toddler's temper tantrum that you'll be able to see in an almost full grown adult. Screaming, stomping, crying tears of pure rage, Senpai will display all of it right for you to witness in absolute fear and horror. Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? - Is this a game to Senpai? Well, yeah. But only considering he's literally a game character himself. He still sees this as the silly dating mechanics from his own game. Even if this is real life, and even if this is completely against your will. He's not used to anything else, so he'll continue living his life and gaining your love the way he's been built to. Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? - You're not really in the position to cheat on him considering he's holding you in complete isolation, but if you were to cheat on him? Whoo boy. Sen would react in a similar way to Spirit would, only 100x worse. The psychotic laugh yanderes are so infamous for, the brutality, the murder, and then the confrontation of you. A cheater, a liar, a betrayer. You'll pay for what you've done to Senpai, you won't get away with thinking you could pull him around like a toy. He loves you, but now he sees no other option, you must die for what you've done to him. It won't be quick either. No, you're going to feel exactly what you made him feel the moment he found you cheating on him. It's only fair, after all. An eye for an eye. But don't worry, your body will be in good hands! Senpai will still take care of you, and he forgives you for what you've done! Now the two of you can be happy together once again! No more distractions this time! Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? - The usual...marriage, honeymoon, perhaps some kids or pets (but only if you want them, of course!). Senpai is really up to any kind of future, as long as it's with you, his beloved Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? - Senpai is EXTREMELY jealous. He's suspicious of basically everyone you come into contact with, and you're always having to deal with him wrapping his arms around you from behind and gently laying down some boundaries for whoever you're just trying to talk to. Expect a few statements like/similar to, "Hey, worm! They're mine!", considering Sen is always trying to show people just how much you belong to him Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? - Like some kind of flawless prince, but you know damn well that it's just a facade. He tries very hard to keep his yan tendencies hidden from you, but his emotional instability makes him fail miserably at that. But, that doesn't take away from the fact that he's *usually* acting very cool and charismatic Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? - The usual things you'd see from a hopeless romantic...love letters, cards, poems, hand kisses, dinner dates, and everything else lovey dovey that people do to show a certain person how much they love them. Being a dating game character, Senpai is VERY good at courting anyone he seems romantically compatible Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? - His true colors are different from the way he tries to appear, but they come out so much that the people closest to him (specifically meaning you, and only you, as all of his other friends are just a.i. in the game that he once took residence in)) consider it apart of his actual personality Naughty: How would they punish their darling? - Probably just by breaking things around the two of them as he screams at them

for whatever they did to anger him. Senpai is very childish, especially when he's rejected, but he's still able to be calmed. You just need to know exactly what to say and when to say it. Which...is shockingly hard, considering how unpredictable Senpai can be Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? - Just like Spirit, he won't really take away any. But, he'll take away all of it if he feels as if he has to Patience: How patient are they with their darling? - Senpai's patience is quite literally in the lowest of negative numbers, so tread lightly, (Y/N). The slightest and smallest things can set Senpai into hour long rages Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? - No. Not at all. Senpai would be absolutely devastated. He wouldn't be able to move on, you were his absolute everything. He can't imagine living a life without you, and he won't. Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? - Regret? No! Absolutely not! Why should Senpai feel any regret? For loving his darling angel? No. That's nothing but foolish. There is no room for regret or shame in Senpai's heart, only love for you Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? - Rejection is against Senpai's code. You weren't supposed to not want him romantically. Because of this, Senpai quite literally doesn't know how to react. So, he acts...insane? Obsessed? Call it what you want, but make sure its definition doesn't neglect his love for you. Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? - Senpai would probably just get angrier. Why are you so upset?! Just love him, for fucks sake!! He just wants to take care of you, why won't you just let him? Stop being so difficult, let him take over, and things will be so much better for you! Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? - Not really. Senpai is pretty much a walking stereotype, with a few small changes here and there. Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? - His lovesickness, probably. Escaping Senpai would be hard to say the least, but not impossible. Just do the usual, try and act like a sufferer of Stockholm Syndrome and maybe you'll have a good chance at getting away from him Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling? - Without hesitation. If he needs to do it to get his point across, Sen would do it without hesitation. It's all for you, that fact alone removes any chance of hesitation or remorse Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? - Senpai practically treats you like some overglorified love deity, the definition of a perfect partner. Perfect for him, at least. His entire heart is like an open book, but one that only you can read clearly. It's all for you, after all. Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? - He's good up until he witnesses even the slightest sign of distance or rejection, then he snaps Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? - Like hurting you, he'd do it without any hesitation. It means nothing to him, unlike you. You mean everything, and he'd do everything and anything for you. This is basically nothing to him. He loves you, after all! More than anything else in his world.

[mrpenguinpants]

Venti: Friendship HCs

YES! YES! YES! You’re absolutely beautiful anon, I love friendship HCs. I have yet to get a Venti rq at the time of writing this [I actually have another one that came in yesterday (?) but that one is a bit special].

I wasn’t sure if you meant MC as in a reader or the actual MC [Aether and Lumine]. I still used “you” but if you meant Aether/Lumine just lmk.

Also, these few weeks might be a bit slower since I’ve got major assignment’s coming up.

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Part 2:  Venti and Diluc: Friendship HCs

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Venti: Friendship HCs

If you want this bard to do anything, just run at him with some slime condensate on your hands and he’ll scream bloody murder.  

He likes apples and lively places so whenever he has free time, which is almost all the time, he’s either dragging you to taverns or out to pick apples. If you mention that you needed to buy cheese he might look at you differently.

If you’re both under the Mondstadt tree and just hanging out he might sing you songs or new poems he’s heard. Some of them are old poems or one’s he’s created. Sometimes he’ll just play the lyre as you both listen to the wind rustle the tree’s leaves.

Venti has a rather mischievous attitude and is quite bold so if anyone is giving you a hard time he’ll slide in without fear and insult them. Is the type to stick his tongue out at the offender as he drags you somewhere else.

It sometimes freaks you out when Venti switches to his Wind Archon self and start’s spitting metaphor’s like he’s Shakespeare. But he’ll switch back into his Venti persona and it’s starting to feel like he’s doing it on purpose to make your head spin.

No matter what season or weather, Venti want’s to have fun. If it’s raining then it’s a competition to see who can make the biggest splash. If it’s snowing and too cold to go outside, Venti is going to element burst snow at your face. You should have dodged he says.

He will push you to make friends with Diluc just to feed his wine addiction, even though there’s no way Diluc would let you sample anything. He’ll push your towards Diluc in hopes you’ll distract him enough for Venti to sneak something out but so far it hasn’t worked.

If you ever need a boost to justtt grab that apple or even to reach a jar on the top shelf he’ll skyward sonnet you. Even as paper’s fly or you’ve hit your head he’ll just ehe his way out.

If Venti is taking a bit too many liberties, just threaten that you’ll get a pet cat. He’s allergic to them so he won’t be able to hang out with you but you’ll have a whiny bard yelling at you in public with no shame. It’s not like you would actually do that but it’s nice knowing he appreciates your company. Sadly cat’s seem to like him. You’ll have to pry him away from a tree and telling him that no, cat’s are not vile archon killing beasts.

If we were in modern times he would be the guy that pulls up to a ice-cream shop with kids in the back and order’s for himself only. Best way to avoid Venti stealing hands is to eat something with cheese.

It’s always hilarious when people think he’s underaged even though he’s older than Mondstadt itself. When he turns to you to prove that he is, in fact, of legal age to drink just turn away and pretend you don’t know who this green bard is. I don’t know him officer.  

He’ll make a big deal of you being his disciple and writing songs about you but if you turn him down he’ll get immediately sadden, which is a kick in the heart, and you’ll take it back.

He wants to roam free and experience the world. Now that Dvalin has been saved and Mondstadt has returned to its peaceful life, he insist he must join you in your adventure. He say’s it’s for bard purposes but he might just be a bit lonely.

If you ever mention you would to see someplace in the sky or to be able to fly, Venti will actually treat it quite seriously. If you’d like a feather from an eagle he’ll immediately get one for you. It’s a bit of a somber time with him when he hands it to you but he quickly covers it up.

If you want to learn the lyre he’s actually a good teacher when he want’s to be. Do what you love while you still can. Make the world a place you want to live in.

Then he’ll ruin the mood by asking you to braid his hair.

“You know Venti, your hair is actually really nice,” you commented as you folded blue strands of his hair over each other to create his signature braids. You were both under the huge tree next to the Statue of the Seven. It was one of Venti’s favourite places and it was peaceful. Only occasionally a researcher might stop by but either then that, it was just animals.

“You think so?” Venti asked as he opened one eye to look up at you. He was lying on his back with his head resting on your knee, quietly strumming his lyre. You weren’t sure what tune he was playing but it sounded familiar.

“Yeah, how your hair turns to blue at the tips. It’s a really nice colour. Were you born with hair like this? Is this some special Archon power that gives you colour bending hair?” you chucked at your joke as you tied the end of the braid. There all done.

“We could dye your hair!” Venti exclaimed as he shot upward almost hitting your forehead if you didn’t dodge out of the way. Whenever you’re with Venti you always end up with friendly fire, maybe you’re developing a Venti reflex? Venti looked at you and you could almost see the excitement rushing to his brain

“Um, how?” you asked, you weren’t aware there were ways to dye your hair in Mondstadt. The most you could get was food, flowers, and materials. Maybe you could craft dye?

“Hmm...” Venti thought for a bit, the excitement that had been rushing to his brain started to simmer down. He shrugged in his happy-go-luck manner, “Well, we’ll figure it out! You know Liyue is a lot bigger than Mondstadt, maybe we can find something there?”

“Venti. I’m not letting you play mad scientist with my hair,” you deadpanned, the last time you let Venti “experiment” was with food and your stomach is still crying from that. This would either work or you’ll end up with all your hair burned off if his cooking skills were anything to go off by.

“Aww come on. Don’t you want to be colourful too? Oh, maybe we should make your hair a rainbow wouldn’t that be a sight, come on let’s take a trip to Liyue,” he laughed as he dusted himself off before offering a hand for you to take.

“Won’t you miss Mondstadt?” you took his hand as he pulled you up. He crossed his arms, giving an overexaggerated thinking face.

“Hmm maybe a little bit but I’ve been watching Mondstadt ever since I became an Archon. It doesn’t hurt to venture out and explore. Fly over new heights and see thing’s we’ve never seen before. At least while we still have the freedom to.” Venti smiled softly as his eye’s seemed to be staring at something far away, or maybe he was looking back?  

"Venti...” you started, before quickly taking the end of that sentence back. Venti doesn’t really talk about the past and you didn’t want to ruin the earlier mood, “Alright. Let’s go. No time like the present.”

“Oh, we should take the scenic route. I’ve heard Liyue is especially pretty this time of year. You think Liyue has any good wine? Maybe I can finally stop getting mistaken as a child or-”

You sighed as he kept rambling as you dusted the grass from your clothes. As much as tried to keep a calm face you could feel excitement building in your chest. You grinned as you clenched your hands still and ran past him cutting off his sentence.

“Come on Venti! If you’re too slow I’ll leave you behind!”

“Wha- Hey! That’s not fair! Time out! Time out!”

[heeracha]

i know we all accepted that ymth have a happy ending but tbh part of me still leans towards the alternative ending, probably cause life isn't always as good as we would like it to be and i feel like in the world there is so many heeseungs - amazing people who u would fall in love with it if they were a little braver this one time and made u see who they are with their own flaws sure but with such a big hearts 

that's also why in my head that graduation bonus drabble looks a lot different - very heartbreaking when the realization hits, that if he said something and maybe he almost did somewhere.. one note, on the graduation day, kept in his pocket " its me, doll, heeseung, would u ever believe me if i said something sooner?"… but yeah there is this poem, u know about almost…"almost happy, almost changed… almost but not quite, not yet, soon, maybe, im hoping hard for that"  but now all he can do it wave a small goodbye and wish u well, wish for u to be happy, always this bright like the sun 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,who hurt you 🧍🏻‍♀️ no in all seriousness tho,,, this is,,, u wanna make me cry? pls idk what to say im so... speechless, im stunned im HIBFSJHSDB pls,,, almost is nice. but almost is like probably the most heartbreaking word for me, yk? you were almost there. just one more step and you have it, but no,,, something happened. so it doesn't happen, but you were halfway happy, and you cant help but ask yourself what would it be like if it did happen and not almost ,,,

yk what anon,, u shouldve written the alt ending. you would have done it way better than i did. 🫂