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slutofpsh · 2 months

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strip for me.

part five | lhs.

pairings: hyungline x reader

synopsis: hyung line got you trapped in a situation that you can’t get away from.

wc: 8k

warnings: smut, minors dni, fivesome, bullying (not promoting violence or bullying), degrading, raw sex (please use protection), dirty talks, curses, masturbation, hyung line being mean. this is not proof read.

note: lee heeseung’s solo part. next one will be jay’s. thank you so much for supporting my works and loving strip for me series. also, this doesn’t have heavy smut since i want to show the boy’s affection with reader outside the bed even more. anyway, reblogs and replies are highly encouraged.

part one; two; three; four

you got sick the day after. maybe because your body got overwhelmed and didn’t expect that kind of activity. they let you rest for as long as you like until you finally regained your senses.

it was almost 10 pm when heeseung drove you home. both of you silent throughout the drive. heeseung’s glancing at you from time to time, but you refused looking at him.

your mom isn’t really skeptical about it. its also a good thing that she didn’t wonder why the hell did you get sick the day after because you have no idea what will you tell her.

today’s saturday. you skipped school yesterday and just laid on your bed the whole time.

your mind is still occupied by the big question: ‘what are you for those boys?’

they did took care of you that definitely ruin the whole concept of you being their toy and made you confused. the switch up is totally odd as well. they’re always so rude and harsh towards you, then suddenly they went soft and gentle.

that tho, didn’t change the fact that you felt used. (name)’s words kept repeating inside your mind like a broken radio.

a faint knock on your bedroom door snaps you out of you thoughts.

“y/n?” its your mom. “you have visitors. your friends are here.” she announced that draws your brows together.

“friends?” you’re beyond confuse.

nobody ever visited you, and more importantly, what friends? while feeling a little disoriented, you forced yourself out of the bed then faced the mirror once.

the smile on your mother’s face is bright, looking so delighted. she feels excited by this visit she’s referring to, you can tell by how she ushered you down the staircase.

“mom, wait.” you tried calming her down because you can’t think properly on who those friends she’s talking about.

“come on! they’re waiting.” and finally, you made it to the last step then she almost drag you to the spacious living room.

your lips gapped when you saw them dominates the sofa set by the middle. its just the four of them but it seem too crowded. maybe because they’re all so tall and now the average looking sofa looks a bit small for them.

they all whipped their heads on your direction the moment you stepped inside. you cannot exactly tell the look on their faces. your mom smiles and tugs your arm lightly.

“they said they’ve been worried, sweetie. why didn’t you told them that you’re sick?” she pouts.

you blinked, pushing the tears back inside your eyes. its a bit annoying. how you planned to ignore them after what happened and now you can feel your heart warms up just by seeing them here. how all the courage to finally end it dissipates along with your anger for the four fine men in front of you.

its kind of sickening. you find yourself pathetic for actually letting them affect you this way. they make you feel worthless, but at the same time they’re the only ones who can make you feel special.

“i’m s-sorry, it slipped off my mind.” you sniffed and tried to hide the real emotion through a half-smile.

your mom totally bought that reason. she hums and then she can hear a faint ringing from the other side of the house.

“oh! that must be my workmate. i’ll leave you guys here, okay? i will order food for you guys.” she coos and then exits the living room, leaving you alone with them.

their eyes settles at you, flashing with an foreign look on it. that made you feel uneasy so you glanced away.

“sweets,” jake was the first one to approach you closer, reaching for your arm.

his heart sank when you yank it back, declining his affection. he looks surprised and he wanted to try again, but he doesn’t want to push it.

“why are y-you here?” your voice cracks and looked at them one by one.

jay looks concerned, heeseung have his usual calm composure and sunghoon’s brows are furrowed. you can’t tell if he’s mad or worried. he stood up, stopping himself to advance towards you. he doesn’t want to scare you.

“we just want to check on you...” sunghoon says in his softest tone. he licked his lips, blinking multiple times to try and calm himself.

your view of sunghoon got covered when jake steps closer, his brows furrowed hardly and eyes glistening with sadness. his hand hangs mid way, attempting to get in touch of you, craving it.

“we got worried when you skipped class yesterday. we tried to call you, sweetheart.” jake looks desperate. it slightly broke your heart seeing him this way. his mischievous smile long gone.

“but you ignored all of us...” it was jay who talked this time.

you gave him a short glance. the stare stays for a while before you pursed your lips to sigh heavily. chest tightens and mind all messed up.

“what happened, sweets?” jake steps closer.

out of all of them, he’s the most touch deprived. one day without you and he’s all over the place. not to mention that you’ve been ignoring all of them. none of their attempts to contact you became successful and its sending him in distress.

you glanced at him then took a step backward. it pinned him on his position, eyes blank. jake looks in pain, but you looked much worst.

heeseung may seem calm, but behind this composed demeanour is his mind being a mess. he’s in panic. he never seen you this way and honestly he’s not prepared. he gulps and tries to gather himself.

“jake...” he calls his friend to stop him from advancing more.

as expected, he didn’t listen and attempts to take another step but a tear escaping your eye is what halts him from doing so. they never seen you this bothered and terrified before.

“sweets...” jake almost chokes on air when he softly tries to call you.

“p-please leave.” your breaths heavy, and chest painful from thinking that you’ll be ending what you have with them

its messed up. its very wrong. the set up is fucked up, but you can’t deny that you’ve gained more than you lost from this—whatever you call this.

it may sound exaggerated, but you think you saw all of their faces lose color. their eyes flickers fear and shoulders hangs low after hearing what you said.

“s-sweets...” jake’s voice cracks, trying to earn some sympathy. he never done that. he isn’t someone so weak. he always know where he stand and his power he holds over people. but not at the moment, specially not in front of you.

heeseung clenches his jaw to hide his trembling lips. he unclasped his fist, realizing he’s been doing that ever since you’ve walked inside the room.

jay’s in shambles. he doesn’t know what to feel at the moment. he’s always been the nonchalant one. never shown that there’s a weak spot in him. but now that you seem to be slipping away from him, he’s lost. he can feel his heart aching, hands shaking and breaths shorten.

sunghoon’s silent. his eyes never left you, fists balled tightly. he’s cursing himself. for being so ruthless and aggressive. he’s blaming it all to him and his friends. they’re so selfish. and you’re just too perfect. you did nothing wrong. it was all on them.

“y/n,” heeseung licks his lips and this time he trudges closer. jake glances at him, eyes full of hope. maybe his heeseung hyung can fix this mess. he can, right? that’s what echoes inside his mind.

“angel...” he gulps and you noticed how he’s a little off right now. he’s far from the reserve and calm, heeseung you’re used to.

he looks... anxious. the fear and trepidation flashes clearly through his eyes. something you’ve never seen before.

“tell me what’s wrong, hmm? we’ll talk about it.” he says using his calmest tone. “we’ll figure things out.”

that caught you off-guard. if there’s something about these four men have in common is that they love being in control of you. they get off seeing fear and watching you submit to them.

so to hear him saying those words are new for you. talk? will they really listen? what if they just laugh at you if you opened it up to them.

those questions clouded your mind to the point that you didn’t notice jake approaching closer. heeseung wanted to stop him, but he knew there’s no preventing jake from getting close. its either he lets him or he’ll completely lose it.

jake’s warm hands wraps over your wrist is what snaps you back in to your senses.

“sweets...” he calls you. his eyes scanned your face and wait if you’ll resist his affection once again.

he gulps, hope igniting when you didn’t shove his hold off. he took a step closer and this time cups your face. your cheeks warm that sent comfort to jake.

“tell us what’s wrong...” he whispers, pleading. he rest his forehead on top of yours and shut his eyes. “please.” he added.

that made you cry. because you got scared. you’re afraid to confront them because it may end everything.

“what a-am i to you, really?” you started that caught them off-guard.

“y-you guys...” they kept their stares right at your face, waiting attentively to what you’re about to say.

“you treat me like a toy. you’re playing with me like as if i d-don’t have feelings.”

if the scene moments ago hurts them, then this surely broke everything in them. they were silent for a while. reflecting to all the things they’ve done so far to you. yes, they were a little less insolent the other day, but what they did to you probably made you misunderstand it.

jake was the first one to retract, “what? no, sweetheart.” he licks his lips and cares your cheeks gently. he shakes his head continuously.

“we...” he gulps, nervous. he locks his gaze at you and softens, tears brimming his eyes. “i love you.” he blurted out that made you hitch your breath.

that obviously is not what you expected to get from him. specially from jake. he’s the player, always have girls around him. you’ve never heard him say those words to anyone.

your eyes stares right at his desperate ones, trying to search for any traces of mischief over them. but none. sincerity and desperation is all you can see through them.

a warm hand rests at the small of your back then someone rests his forehead at the side of your head. his familiar manly scent invades your nose.

jay’s eyes are tightly closed when you try to glance at him. his jaw clenched hard as his hand bore onto your back.

“i’m sorry if you misunderstood us, baby. that’s not how we want things to escalate.” he mumbles so softly. nuzzling close to you, like as if it will help ease those pain away.

it made you sob. heeseung approaches and his friends gave space for him. he grabs one of your hand and caress it. while staring at your eyes, he placed a gentle kiss on it while the other two boys tries to hugs you. jake’s got his face buries on the crook of your neck, jay remains standing beside you.

“i’m sorry, angel. we...” he couldn’t continue right away. he gulps. “we didn’t know this is how you feel.”

tears streams down your face. continuously. and your chest aches, but this time its for a different reason. you didn’t expect any of these. you imagined them scoffing and laughing at you for actually catching feelings for them. they basically mistreated you.

jake tightens his hug on you, refusing to let go. his warmth envelopes you. jay has his hand placed at the small of your back, caressing it up and down. heeseung has your hand, kissing it from time to time.

the three of them whispered their sorries. they totally feel bad. as your eyes roams around, it caught sunghoon’s.

he’s still standing at his place. didn’t move a step. he’s just there, watching all of this unfold. his heart aches, that’s for sure. he wanted to come close to you too just like how his friends are trying to console you, but his feet are stoned.

he cannot do it. he’s afraid.

out of all of them, he’s the meanest. he says the most hurtful and degrading words towards you. of course, he meant none of them. he’s just caught up in the moment and to the thought of dominating you.

his heart drops at the sight of your tear stained eyes. all those times he’s been rough on you flashes back through his mind like a montage. he hates it. he hates himself.

heeseung whips his head back to look over his shoulder. he can see how sunghoon has his fists balled. how he looked scared. he’s never seen him this way.

“dude.” he calls.

jake lifts his head to look at his friend, jay’s watching too. sunghoon kept silent, his lips shaken.

“h-hoon?” you called him out, now starting to feel worried by how he’s acting.

sunghoon’s eyes stings as it heats up. he knew he’s tearing up, but he won’t let you see him shed tears. not because he’s trying to mask it ouy, but 'cause he knew it will make you even sadder. he’s scared that he will cause more damage.

his eyes met his heeseung hyung and he nods with a small encouraging smile. the four of them grew up together. they’ve known each other their whole life, so he knew why sunghoon’s not approaching.

its not because he’s mad. he’s being careful. and sunghoon’s never been like this towards someone.

sunghoon gulps then take small courageous steps. your eyes watch him carefully, waiting patiently.

when he’s steps away from you, his eyes softens and you saw how his hand trembles when he lifts it to touch you. he backs out, hesitating to lay his hand on you.

“i’m sorry.” he says in a low voice.

it was such a short sentence but the amount of emotion his eyes shows is enought to let you know that he has so many more that he wants to say.

your eyes scanned his face. slowly, you laid your hand out for him. its a way to let him know that its fine and that you allow him to touch you.

his eyes darts at it. he contemplates, but eventually reaches out. your warm hands sent comfort to sunghoon’s cold ones. it gave him life.

“i’m sorry, pretty. w-we’re really sorry.” he mumbles as he buries his face on your neck. his big figure almost covers you up from heeseung’s perspective.

they watch silently. thankful that you’re just too nice to even let them be this close to you. they exchange look to each other and knew they had to do something to make it up to you.

“forgive us, angel. we’ll do better from now on.” heeseung says and rest his big hands on your hip.

you looked at him and kept silent.

honestly, you’ve been thinking of ending it between them. the amount of stress and overthinking you’ve been going through because of them was unhealthy. you promised that after confronting them and if they confirmed that they’re just here for the fun, you’ll bolt out.

but... this is totally a big turn of events.

your lips stretched a little. a subtle gentle smile, but still visible to their eyes are what relieved them.

“okay.”

jake rushes closer and kisses your cheeks multiple times. “really, sweets? thank you! i love you!” he excitedly mumbled between his kisses.

you felt sunghoon’s big strong arms wrapping tightly around your waist.

“thanks, baby. we will try our best.” jay caught your attention when he rest his hand on top of your head, giving it light taps.

the corner of his lips lifts before leaning to kiss you on the lips. “i love you.” he whispers, like he doesn’t want the other boys to hear. like it was only meant for you.

jake steps in, the sulky boy in him coming out. “kiss me on the lips too!” he argues and pouts his plump lips.

jay snorted and swat his arms. you chuckles and lets him lean in for a swift kiss. his eyes sparkling after that smooch.

heeseung’s hands digs on your hip as he leans silently to drop a kiss on your lips. it was soft and lasts for a few seconds. when he pulls away, he remains close and smiles.

“thank you, angel. we’ll be good boyfriends. right?” he says and looks at his friends which they responded with nods.

you blushed, “b-boyfriends?” surprised.

heeseung smirks then nods, “you’re our girl.” he pinches your cheeks lightly. “not some toy.”

sunghoon places a kiss on your neck then pulls away. his eyes bores to you. they glisten affection and relief.

“our pretty girl.” he whispers and dips his head to give you a feathery hot kiss on the lips.

your eyes opens when he pulls away.

“we need to work on our issues in order for this to work. we don’t want another misunderstanding like this.” heeseung announces.

“do you have anything else you don’t like, angel? except from us being total assholes...” he cleared his throat.

your mind wonders. “i d-didn’t like what we did the last time. its o-overwhelming...”

they all looked at you with cute eyes then jay chuckles. “i mean she did passed out that time. her stamina couldn’t handle it.” he says.

heeseung nods, “at least we get to try it once, right?” he smirks, the memories of the night still lingers to his mind.

you blushed and glanced away.

“is that all, angel?”

you look back at heeseung and nodded.

“please stop being aggressive.” you reminded, ears turning red.

they almost cooed at how adorable you looked.

“we promise.” they say almost in unison then approaches for a group hug with you in the middle, making sure they aren’t squishing you too much.

“but we can still do threesome, right?” jake asks innocently that made all of you whip your heads at his direction.

“jake!” they all hissed at him for still being horny despite the wholesome situation that only made you chuckle.

“hi!” you shyly greets when you saw heeseung outside of your house, leaning over his black audi.

its monday morning and you’re beyond surprise to receive a text message from him saying he’ll be picking you up for school. of course you got excited. this will be the first time.

“good morning, beautiful.” he smirks and snakes his arms around your waist to pull you closer.

your cheeks blushed at his words then stomach churns when he leans in for a kiss. it seems so natural. like this is your usual morning routine.

“get in.” he instruct and even open the door for you.

once inside, he swiftly walks around to ride the driver’s seat. then off you go. it was a short drive, but it isn’t awkward. heeseung’s asking questions from time to time to start a conversation while a low music plays on his radio.

the moment his car enters the parking area designated for the students, you saw familiar boys. jay’s leaning over his car while jake and sunghoon bickers about something.

“oh they’re early.” you mumble because usually you arrive first.

heeseung’s always on time since he’s the school’s president. jay and jake arrives at school just on time. sunghoon’s the one always late, unless he have his morning practices.

their heads whips at your direction once they heard the familiar blaring of heeseung’s car. jake turns his back over hoon then waves like an excited puppy. he for sure cannot see you yet as the car is heavily tinted, but it made you smile. he’s so cute.

he’s on your side of the door once heeseung’s done parking it. he waits until the car’s unlocked and then open it for you.

“sweetheart!” he greets happily then hugs you.

heeseung shakes his head while smirking then unclasped your seatbelt for you as you’re busy greeting jake, returning his hug.

jay and sunghoon walks closer as well then hoon went to grab your things from the backseat. he naturally carries it, letting one strap hangs on his arm.

“hey, baby.” jay greets and placed a kiss on your cheek.

“hi jay.”

“i arrived earlier than both of them!” jake interrupts, proudly letting you know how he’s very punctual today.

“wow, that’s great jakey.” you complimented him and his eyes sparkles.

“yeah, right. you’re so childish.” sunghoon commented before leaning towards you for his kiss.

all of you walks on the hallways together. sunghoon and heeseung’s is a few steps ahead while jake’s beside you telling you about his dog. even showing you her cute pictures and bragging how she’s the smartest dog ever. which sunghoon quickly argues that his dog is much better.

jay’s on your other side, silently listening to his friend’s playful banters. he’s very used to it already and slowly, you too.

curious eyes follows the five of you. there’s a hint of surprise and judgment through them. some are whispering, some just stares with mouth slightly gapped and others just don’t care.

honestly, it bothers you. their eyes carefully watching you is making you uneasy. it felt so weird being watched that it makes you wonder how these boys got used to this.

jake’s warm hand envelops yours that caught your attention. he smiles, his red plump lips distracting you.

“don’t mind them, sweets. they’re just jealous.” he whispers, eyes staring straight at yours.

with blushing cheeks, you blinked twice. “w-why? because i’m with you guys?”

he shakes his head and leans closer, his lips grazing your ears that made your stomach drop. “because you’re ours.”

to say that your face turns red is an understatement. your heart races and he just winks then continues talking about other things.

when you arrived at the classroom, they’re all looking curiously. wondering why these boys are acting this way around you. as far as they remember, they used to bully you around. basically why you end up becoming a loner.

“here, pretty.” sunghoon says and placed your things at the side of the chair. you thanked him and he just smiled before walking to his seat.

jay and heeseung did the same but jake remains near you, pouting hardly.

“can’t i move seats?” he complains.

you chuckle and cares his arm, “go to your seat now, jakey.”

he sighs and wants to lean to give a kiss but stops himself. you did talked about them not to do pda in public or at least when around a lot of people. not everyone is open for this kind of relationship, you just don’t want any issues.

“jake, stop being sulky and sit down.” jay calls him then rolls his eyes.

the said boy just raises his fist and showed his middle finger to his friend. you chuckled and just sat down so jake can go to his chair.

eventually, the homeroom teacher walks inside for morning reminders. she mentioned the upcoming fieldtrip which slightly riles you up. you’re excited to go at the museums and such.

during the breaktime, the boys accompanied you. sunghoon and jake to be specific. the other two are busy on student council so its just the three of you.

“what do you want to eat, doll?” sunghoon asks while pulling a chair for you.

jake’s playing with the edge of your hair while watching you carefully.

“anything is fine.”

hoon nods once, “i’ll order for you.”

“thank you, hoon.” with a smile.

he smirks then squeezed your hand before walking off. jake and you sat down at the table.

“did heeseung hyung told you already?” he starts.

“about?”

“he’s taking you out on a date later.” he says casually while doing something to his phone. his forehead narrows, very focus.

“a d-date?”

he hums, answering your question with a short nod. he’s not looking at you, still hooked to his phone. “where?”

he shrugs, “have no idea.”

your heart hammered just by the thought of going on a date with thee lee heeseung. yes, they did said that they’ll make it up to you and that confirmed your relationship with them, but sometimes it still don’t sink in.

they’re your boyfriends...

your eyes caught the glimpse of what jake’s doing and you got distracted. its a picture of you. that was the first time you saw it.

“is that me?”

jake whips his head at you then smiled, “yes! i’m putting you as my wallpaper.” then he clicked something before locking it and opening the screen to show you.

its a candid picture of you. you forgot when it was, but it was obvious that you’re unaware of him taking that photo. you’re focused on something.

“beautiful, isn’t it?” his smug smirk looked adorable. he cocked his eyebrow once, smirking wider. “that’s my girlfriend.”

you blushed even harder. “stop it.”

he chuckled, finding you adorable. instead of stopping, he stared more intensely making you even more flustered.

“j-jake..” and you glance away.

“fine, i’ll stop.” finally, he glances away, his big grin not wiping off.

sunghoon arrives afterwards and the three of you enjoys the time together before going back to your class.

during your vacant, some of your classmates are doing random things inside the room. you find it a waste to just do nothing and remembered about the history assignment.

you stood up and instantly, four heads whips at your direction. when the bell rang and one of the students announced that it was your vacant, they all naturally gathered around you.

“where are you going?” they almost ask at the same time.

“a-at the library.” you answered, shy that all of their attention is now directed at you. its slowly becoming a habit, but that’s something you will never get used to.

“i’ll go with you.” heeseung was quick to stand up and fix his uniform slightly before carding his soft black hair once.

you gulped, “o-okay...” and your eyes dropped at the three boys who remains sitting down.

sunghoon smiles, “see you later, doll. i’m sleepy.” he reasons then leans over his table.

jay just smiled. jake have this pout on his lips. “i really want to co—” his words got interrupted when jay covered his mouth.

“shut up.”

heeseung covers your line of sight from them then flashes this soft smile. “let’s go?” he says and just like being hypnotized by his gaze, you nod your head.

heeseung ushered you to the library, asking what you’re going there for. once informed about the assignment, he said that he’s already finished with his so he’ll just help you.

you can’t help but to be at awe for this man. can he be more perfect? he’s good in everything.

he find you guys a vacant table and asked you to sit down. he said he will look for the book he used and you thanked him. it didn’t took long before you saw him walking back with a handful of books. strangely, he fits this image well.

you’re in complete trance when he walked closer then placed it on the table. he then started pointing the references he used and told you that you can gather information from those articles then summarize it to your own words.

that was plenty for you. considering it will save you time doing this assignment. with a small smile you thank him then proceed on focusing on the task. heeseung sat beside you and watch how your brows draws closer.

his grin grew wider and fingers starting playing through his lower lip. his stares never left you then it slowly trailed down from your brows to your nose and then lips. those damn lips...

he inhaled and licked his lip, cleared his throat in the most silent way.

now, he went here with you with the most genuine intention of helping you. but then his thoughts are starting to wonder into something... inappropriate.

you did said that you only disapprove of them being mean and aggressive, right? being horny is not mentioned. so you probably won’t mind if he fingers you knuckle deep right now.

god, just by thinking of it, heeseung’s already salivating.

besides, its not his fault that you look so innocent and very pretty looking all serious.

he rests his hand on your thigh that made you jolt in surprise. you blinked twice then turns your head at his direction. he’s giving you this lazy look while biting over his lips.

your chest hammered and stomach churns when he started caressing your thighs gently. making sure you can feel his rough palms rubbing against your exposed skin.

“h-heeseung...”

he raised an eyebrow, “yes, angel?” he asks innocently like as if he’s not doing trailing his hands upwards into your inner skirt.

“w-we’re in the library...” and you roam your eyes trying to check if there’s people near enough to get suspicious of what’s going on under the table.

“exactly. go study.” he says with a grin.

“w-what are you doing? they might see—”

“shh, don’t worry. just be a good girl and do your assignment, okay?” and he leans to drop a kiss on the side of your head, ushering you to continue doing your work.

after staring at him for a while and realizing he ain’t going to stop, you decided to just go with it. besides, you can’t hide the arousing feeling that slowly poisoning your whole system. your head starting to get fuzzy, core getting wet as he started to trace the line of your pussy.

you hummed, teeth sunk onto your lower lip in attempt to stop any moans that wants to come out. “ungh,”

he chuckles sexily, “try to be quiet. we’re at the library after-all.” he whispered.

he pulls his hand out then gave it a lick before dipping it back in. “open your legs for me, please.” he demanded in a very soft tone.

you’re already in deep thoughts, unable to even respond properly and just obliged his dirty desires. once he have a better access, heeseung pushes your underwear to touch you bare.

his fingers are hot and rough. feels so good. he started on your clit, rubbing it in a very delicious way.

“fuck, you’re so wet.” he curses, enjoying how your face contorts out of pleasure. pleasure that he’s currently giving you.

“h-hee..” you calls him.

he smirks, loving the way you’re so needy for his fingers.

“all right, i'm going in angel. focus on your assignment.” he stated like as if its even possible to do that. but you tried to pull yourself together. heaved a sigh then looked at the books in front of you. none of the words made sense, but that’s not important.

your mouth slightly gaps as he inserted one finger inside you. the stretch felt so good it makes you want to moan loudly.

“shh.” he reminded, chuckling.

he’s enjoying it. he’s loving it as much as you’re loving being finger fucked.

he didn’t stopped and put another finger. he let it rest inside, trying to take time feeling your tightness around his long fingers. he wants to imagine it to be his dick and he bet it will feel heaven. he shove that thought right away, he needs to focus on you.

“you’re so tight around me, angel.” he whispered huskily. “even after being fucked by all of us, you’re still so fucking tight.” he started talking in nasty way.

the way he say it in a calm tone just hits in a different way. you gulped and breath out, calming yourself.

“p-please.”

he smirks and gave you another kiss on the side of your head. he started moving his fingers that almost sent your soul out of your body. the way his fingers moved in and out in your tight hole just feels perfect.

he continues, slowly catching his pace that just added to your pleasure. one of your hand grips over his thighs, squishing it that he quickly find adorable.

“how i wish its my tongue inside that hole, angel.” he says that he truly means.

you whimpered lowly and tried to keep your eyes open. the words on the book starting to became blurry. it went on for a while until you feel a knot forming on your stomach. a sign that you’re already close.

“heeseung...” you calls out.

he chuckles then rutt his fingers even faster making you whimper softly. you glance at him and he already knew that you’re close. from the way your eyes are half-lidded and teeth digging unto your lips, you are definitely about to release.

he fucks deeper and just a few moments after you came to his fingers, head hanging low and grip over his thighs tightening. you shake lightly that made him chuckle, leaning his head closer to kiss you by the head.

“you did so well.” he complimented then kept on thrusting in and out in a slow pace, helping you ride your high.

once you calmed down, he pulls it out making you wine. he stares at you then shamelessly took his fingers over his lips to suck it. your eyes grew and cheeks blushed hardly.

“heeseung!”

he smirks, “i deserve a reward, don’t you think?” then he winks at you making you lose your mind. he’s going to be the death of you.

“bye baby.” jay smiles and kisses you gently before moving away to give way for sunghoon. he’s already holding his helmet by one of his hand.

“bye, pretty.” he says with a playful grin over you.

you smiled before pouting, “please drive safely.”

his eyes soften after what you said and leans in again for another kiss. “i will, i promise.”

you nodded and a sulking jake came into your view.

“bye sweets.” he says half-heartedly that made you chuckle then insisted for a kiss just to ease his bad mood.

sunghoon rolls his eyes then grabbed his sulking friend by his uniform and drag him out of there. jake complains and started to argue, but jay helped to drag him away.

heeseung sighs and snaked his arm over your waist, “let’s go?”

you glance at him then nod your head once before going to his car. he opened the door like always and guides your inside.

“where are we going?”

he glances, “i’m taking you to our small vacation house by the lake.” he smiles.

you smiled back, “hmm. okay.”

“i called your mom and told her i’ll get you home a little late.”

“you called her?” you’re surprised he even remembered telling it to her.

“yes. i don’t want her to be worried or get you in trouble.” he says while eyes fixed at the road.

you pout your lips and looked at more with so much adoration. that was so sweet of him. you can feel your heart races and butterflies going crazy inside your stomach.

heesueng notices your stares and chuckles, “why?”

you shake your head, “its just you’re so sweet. it makes my heart melt.”

his smile grew wider, totally proud that he made you feel more special.

“anything for you.”

he said it will took a bit time to get there so you guys went to drive thru so he can buy some food you can eat while on the way. while on the way, you naturally fall into conversations, giggling and teasing each other.

it feels so good. heeseung used to be very intimidating for you. his serious demeanor and the way he seems so calm about everything just makes you feel agitated around him. but eventually, he starts to feel warm. like someone you can entrust yourself fully. they all feel that way, honestly. but heeseung’s the most reliable one, you must admit.

when he noticed your eyelids looking heavier, he chuckles and told you that you can sleep for a while.

“but how about you?” feeling a little bad that you’ll leave him driving.

he smiles assuringly, “i’ll be fine, angel.”

and with that you slowly dozed off. he lets you sleep until you’re already pulling over the driveway of their small vacation house. its not particularly small. its actually above average, but maybe for people like him who probably have many vacation houses, this is small for him.

“careful.” he mumbled and quickly reaches for your hand when the rocky path greets you.

the house is very cozy and simple. the clear view of the lake can be seen from the big glass windows. it was beautiful.

“you can go roam around while i set our food inside the fridge.” heeseung says then kisses you at the head before heading to the kitchen.

your eyes wanders around with curiosity and admiration. everything looks expensive. your eyes darted at the table filled with picture frames. with full curiosity, your feet trudges closer.

“wow...” was the first word that came out from your mouth. you can see pictures of their family. his dad and mom. him and his older brother.

“cutie!” you exclaimed when you saw heeseung’s baby picture. he does resembles him that you can tell right away that it was him.

your smiling ear to ear then fished your phone to take a snap of that pic. after getting satisfied with your shots, you slowly head over the small balcony where you can see the lake.

“wow, its so refreshing.” you mumble under your breath then leaned over the railings, letting the wind blow onto you.

you jolted when a pair of arms wrapped over your waist. “enjoying the view?”

“y-yes.”

heeseung kisses your cheeks then place his chin on your shoulder. the two of you admired the view while holding that position. the breeze is kind of cold, but heeseung’s hug kept you warm.

“do you want to walk around for a bit before we start dinner?” he asks then finally pulls away.

your eyes sparkles, “yes!”

he chuckles, finding you adorable then leans down. “give me a kiss first.”

your cheeks blushed then blinked twice. the two of your stares at each other for a while until you decided to give in to his request. a big satisfied smile spread across his handsome face then stand back up.

“let’s go.” and he intertwined your fingers.

looking at the lake in a much nearer distance gave you comfort and peace. you never thought watching the soft currence while holding heeseung’s warm hands can make your heart race.

“do you know when i started liking you?” heeseung breaks the silence.

you craned your neck to glance at him, eyes flashing curiosity. “when?”

he stares at your for a while before chuckling lightly then pinching your cheeks.

“you look adorable, but i have to resist. come on, try to guess.”

his compliment and how he said that using his softest tone soothes something in your heart. it made you blush instantly. despite all of it, you tried to guess like how he requested.

“when you started this thing with me?” that was the first one that came in your mind.

you barely remember any interaction with lee heeseung before all of this.

his brows narrowed, “this thing?” he sighs. “relationship, angel. that’s how you call it properly.” he says using a salty tone.

you chuckled and just nods as acknowledgement. he kept his stares, his eyes returning to being gentle and full of affection. a small genuine smile then appears over his lips.

heeseung’s out of words to describe how precious you are for him. he’s usually good on saying the things he wanted to say, but with you his thoughts are starting to be messed up. there’s just so much he wanted to say yet he don’t know where to start.

“it was on seventh grade.” he stated that made your lips gap.

7th grade? but you’re already on eleventh grade. still surprised, you cannot say anything.

“during that time i experienced my first loss. it may be nothing for a normal high-school kid, but for someone who comes from a perfectionist family who doesn’t accept defeat, it is a pretty big deal.”

instantly, you feel slightly bad. of course, you’ve heard about his family. they are pretty strict when it comes to him. maybe that’s why he’s very reserved because he has no time for failure. they’ve put too much pressure on him.

your free hand extends and travels from his arm towards his neck, up to his face. slowly, he relaxes to your touch.

“i remember feeling so worthless while staring blankly at my silver medal.” he resumes telling you the story.

“while i stare with despair at it, already imagining the disappointed look from my father, someone approaches me.” he stops.

“guess who?” he smirks. “i'll give you a clue.” then smirk grew wider.

“she’s very pretty and currently holding me softly right now.”

“me?” you wonder.

he nods. “you were pretty amazed at my silver medal.” he states, a big smile on his face now.

just the emotion he was showing was enough to tell how delighted he is by reminiscing that moment.

“i was actually annoyed at first because i thought you were mocking me.” he chuckled and you pout jokingly.

“hey, you’re so judgemental.”

he shrugs his shoulders. “can’t blame me, angel. i was still very introverted that time.”

“you’re still a little introvert now.”

he cocked his eyebrow and you did the same thing, staring back. that made him chuckle.

“okay, maybe you’re right.” he surrenders then drop a kiss on your forehead.

“and then what happened?” you curiously asked.

he smiled. “then i told you harshly that what’s so great for second place?” he continued.

you grow silent then tries hard to recall the memory.

“and then you said,” you glanced at him, eyes starting to water a bit.

“that there’s nothing wrong with being second place. that it doesn’t mean that you failed or you didn’t won. that instead of being sad, you should take it as a chance to become better. that it only means you still have a room to grow.” you finished it that made him smile.

“right...”

“hee...” eyes brimming with tears already. “that was years ago.” you stated, couldn’t believe that he started to get interested that time.

his eyes dropped at your intertwined hand and he raised it to gently place a kiss on top of it.

“hee...” you mumbled again, this time voice cracking a little.

he smiles, “sorry if we approached you the wrong way. we just really don’t know what to do.” his eyes sparkles, getting a bit teary as well.

“i-it’s okay... i didn’t know.”

he chuckles, “obviously. you’re too dense to notice.”

“hey!” you playfully shoot him glares that he just laughed at before leaning in to give you a kiss.

the two of you stared at each other affectionately, enough to communicate what your hearts wants to tell one another.

“i know that with all the responsibilities and the expectation from your parents, it felt heavy. like you feel that you can’t be flawed.” you started.

“but for me you’re just perfect the way you are. with your achievements and failures.” those words tugs his heartstrings, a tear escaping his eye.

the moment you two steps inside the vacation house, heeseung’s lips are attached to you. his kisses are gentle yet passionate. his hands holds you closely to his hot body.

his kisses moves from your lips, down to your chin then neck making sure to suck on your skin making you moan, fingers tangled on his hair.

he slid his arm over your legs then carries you towards the bedroom. he went back to your lips and kisses you once again.

he gently placed you on the bed hovering above you, his hand starting to remove your clothes. and you let him.

when he pulls away, you try to even chase him that made him chuckle.

“wait, angel. i’ll just remove my clothes.”

your eyes trailed down his now erect member.

“d-do you want me to...?”

he smiles then shakes his head, “no. today, its just about you.”

then he kisses you again, resuming on discarding every clothing that you still have on you. once fully unclothed, he positions himself in front of you. he started rubbing his head on your now wet core.

your brows narrowed and whimpers sexily.

“i’ll go in now, okay?” he glanced at you and a nod is all you gave him.

and while your eyes staring back at each other, heeseung pushes his dick inside. the stretch feels so good, his thick cock making you moan his name. it made him satisfied, hearing you getting comfortable on letting out your moans.

“that’s right, let me hear you.” he whispered then pinned your hand on the sides, intertwining his fingers to yours.

he lets you get more comfortable with having him inside and connects his lips on yours again, couldn’t get enough of your lips. his tongue pushes in, wanting to taste every insides of your mouth.

when he started to move, your head starts to get blank. nothing inside but the man above you and making you feel this good.

he slides in and out. starting with a slow pace then going faster. he thrusts deep and fast sending so much pleasure.

“heeseung...” you moaned after his lips moves away.

“i love you, angel.” he suddenly said that made your heart jumped. you didn’t have the chance to say anything as he leans in for a peck.

“i love you so damn much.” and then start thrusting even faster.

“i...” you pursed your lips, eyes shuts as the pleasure from his dick takes away your ability to think and speak properly.

“i..” you attempted again, opening your eyes so you can look at his pretty face.

“love you too...” you finally finished it.

heeseung’s heart thumped faster and he fucked you even harder. he smiles and leans in for another heated kiss. he loves and adore you.

he continues drilling his cock inside until he felt you tightening around him, indicating the approaching release. he kisses your chin.

“cumming for me, angel?”

you open your mouth, “yes. feel so good.”

he smirks, “i know. pussy so good for me.” and then he rut his cock deeper.

“i’m cumming too..” he announces, feeling the knot on his stomach.

“cum with me.” he orders then attach his lips before going rapidly.

not long after you came around heeseung then he filled you with his hot cum. he pulls away to look at your fucked out face, brushing off some hair. he smiles.

“i love you.” he whispers, still going in and out but in a slower pace. riding both your highs.

you opened your eyes and reaches for his face. this time, you lift your head to give him a sweet kiss with a smile on your face. then you laid back down, staring lovingly at him.

his thrust starts to go faster again and a playful smirk spreads across his handsome face, some of his hairs sticks on his forehead due to sweat.

“round two, angel.” and then you let out a whimper from both pleasure and overstimulation.

the two of you spent the rest of the time just going for each other. heeseung making sure you felt how special you are for him.

lee heeseung is scared of failing. always aiming to be the best and to be perfect. he’s too obsessed on pleasing his parents to the point that he almost lose himself. but with you, he felt at ease. he felt safe and confident knowing that despite all his flaws and just being his true self, he’s still admirable.

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forlix · 1 year

Text

𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞・l.f.

— five times you want to tell your best friend you love him and the time you finally do.

words・7.7k

pairing・idol!felix x gn!reader

genres・fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn w/a happy ending, 5 + 1 trope, idiots in love who are also afraid of love, you do the math

warnings・alcohol consumption, discussions of anxiety, lots of emotional vulnerability, like a surprising amount of crying icl

playlist・jazz bar by dreamcatcher・spring day by bts・through the night by iu・eight by iu ft. suga・house song by searows・not mine by day6

a/n・i borrowed the title of this beautiful day6 song for this fic; give it a listen if you can (especially while reading part four). happy late birthday, lix <333 thank you for being you

One. The door to the café opens with a soft jingle, bringing a chilly draft into the room and causing you to draw your scarf tighter around your shoulders.

Theoretically, you come here to study—but people-watching has become a simultaneous pastime. There was that couple with a pair of samoyeds, so fluffy that they looked like walking clouds; a mother and son, hunched over their croissants, arguing in a classic “don’t cause a scene in public” tone; an elderly woman in bicycle shorts asking for extra shots of espresso in the menu’s most caffeinated item.

And now, there is him.

“Hello,” the ashy-haired stranger says to the barista with a quick, polite bow. “May I have a medium caramel latte? Hot, with sweetener, please. Thank you.”

His voice reminds you of the notes of a cello, of the feeling of running your fingers through tufted velvet. When he turns away from the counter, he’s slipping a card back into his wallet, and you catch a glimpse of long lashes and a scattering of freckles. You cannot see his face, as it’s covered by a black mask, but that only propels the question further: who are you?

And perhaps it is destiny herself who hooks a gentle finger beneath the stranger’s chin and tilts his head upwards, because when he inadvertently steps into a patch of sunlight, his brown irises illuminate like molten amber, and they are fixed upon you.

You feel your lips part, your stomach turn. You don’t know if your cheeks are so warm because of your piping hot tea (your third one today) or because of the newfound eye contact with someone so ethereal.

But you are sure that the corners of the stranger’s eyes crinkle ever so slightly, as if his lips have just curved into a smile beneath his mask.

“Felix,” the barista calls, and you turn the name silently on your tongue.

Maybe you are exhausted from work and not thinking straight. Maybe you are more starved for change than you’ve ever been. Or maybe you’re just prophetic. But you think you sense forever in this man, with his freckled cheeks and pretty eyes.

That is the first time you want to tell Lee Felix you love him.

Two. The second Felix comes into your line of vision, you sense that something is wrong.

You hold up a hand in greeting, and the smile he returns is sincere but muted, as if it pains him to move, to breathe. He sounded weary on the phone earlier—can I see you tonight? Just for a bit—but only now that he’s in front of you do you see the extent of his fatigue, seeping into his sunken shoulders and lightless eyes.

“Hi,” he says once he’s close enough.

“Hey, you,” you answer, rising out of your seat. Instinctively, he extends his arms toward you, and you draw him into a hug that is fleeting and familiar. He smells faintly of laundry detergent and vanilla, and it makes something within you ache, like an oyster searching for its absent pearl.

When you pull away, your hands move to your best friend’s cheeks, cocooning his face so you can get a better look at him. Even under the sparse streetlights, you see that his eyes are slightly bloodshot, the shadows beneath them deep and sullen. Has he been crying?

“Bad day?” You ask, your hands falling back to your sides.

“The worst,” he returns with a weak smile.

“Wanna take a walk?”

“Yes, please. How long do I have you for?”

This is what you do when your schedules are too packed for you to make real plans: take strolls wherever is most convenient, for however long either of you can spare. Sometimes that’s five minutes, sometimes five hours. But you know that you need to be here for him tonight.

“As long as you need me,” you say.

You turn around to pick up your drinks (a decaf caramel latte for Felix and a black milk tea for yourself), and you don't see the way his smile comes back a little bigger the second time, the way his cheeks warm slightly under the moonlight.

There’s a small park a few blocks behind your apartment. Granted, it's not a very good park, with only a tiny, sad playground and very little foliage, but it is an excellent stargazing spot, due to it being so dark and desolate. You and Felix decide to head there now, your arms touching as you walk through the quiet residential area.

Ten minutes later, blades of grass are poking the back of your head, and directly above you is a sea of scattered stars, flickering like millions of faulty flashlights. Felix’s voice is leaden when he starts to speak, breaking the park’s fragile silence. He tells you about his fears, about how earlier today they overwhelmed him so much that he wanted to lock himself away from the world and throw away the key. He tells you about his dreams, about how even in his relentless pursuit of them they sometimes still feel as amorphous and unattainable as fragments of mist.

The way he always does when he’s around you, Felix spills parts of himself that he never thought he could entrust to anyone. And you don’t say a word, your knee leaning against his, listening, understanding. (But you wish you could tell him a lot of things: that you care for him more than you ever believed yourself capable; that you hope for his happiness more than your own; that you don’t have the words to heal him, but you would give anything to find them.)

By the time the two of you leave the park, it’s almost midnight, and the streets have fallen silent save for the occasional whoosh of car wheels on cement and the distant lamentations of cricket choirs. You’re making small talk now, and Felix is smiling a little easier. It seems your conversation worked in cheering him up; a temporary fix, you’re sure, like a bandaid where stitches should be, but seeing his eyes crinkle and hearing his laugh again is enough to soothe your worry for the rest of the night, at the very least.

“You’re sure you’ll be okay going back yourself?” You ask once the two of you reach the entrance to your apartment building.

“Yeah, of course.” Felix touches the back of his neck apologetically. “I’m sorry I kept you out so late.”

“Nonsense, Lix. I’m always here for you.”

Felix averts his eyes to his shoes, and you’re caught off guard by his facial expression: exhausted but contemplative, and possessing a sense of tenderness. It is a look that you don’t think you’ve seen before, and you feel your heartstrings pull at its unfamiliarity, its strange softness.

You say your goodbyes, but your "let me know when you get home safe" is cut short when you feel a hand catch your wrist, just as you’re entering the building.

How Felix doesn’t notice your frantic pulse beneath his touch is beyond you, but instead he parts his lips, and his next words resound in your mind as you try and fail to fall asleep that night.

“I can’t explain why, or how—but I feel braver when I’m with you, Y/N. I meant to tell you that earlier.”

And those three words rush to your mind fleetingly, like saltwater crashing against the shores of your mind. Even when the tide has subsided, they remain on the sand, waiting to be read aloud.

“Thank you,” Felix mumbles, “for everything.”

You don’t read out those words, of course. Instead, you reach up to squish Felix’s face and call him a sentimental dork, to which he rolls his eyes affectionately and bats you away, and the moment is over. But when you turn to go, your heart is pounding so loudly that your reply may as well have been a confession.

Three. You sink into your mattress, careful to keep your tea within your mug’s rim, and let out a hybrid of a groan and a sigh that is strikingly reminiscent of an old man lowering himself into a worn armchair.

You can’t remember the last time you had a cold this terrible. It feels as if your lungs took a plunge in a vat of wet cement and then rolled around in gravel immediately afterward. And it’s got you in the mood to do nothing but listen to the heavy drops of rain knocking against your window, curl up with a good show and a hot drink, and bask in your own congestion.

But then your phone, which you left in the bathroom, emits four deafening notification sounds, and you haul yourself back out of bed with a groan-sigh that’s twice as anguished as the last.

When you reach the hellish device, your best friend’s name greets you, and your ire dissipates momentarily.

From: Lix 🐣 Hey hey From: Lix 🐣 We still on for dinner tonight? From: Lix 🐣 Just gonna be me, Minho, Seungmin. Jeongin has a vocal lesson From: Lix 🐣 Please don’t play the “if Jeongin doesn’t go neither do I” card again I’ve had enough of it!!! ENOUGH

You let out a throaty laugh that sounds like one of Minho’s cats battling a hairball, heading back to bed.

From: Y/N 🌙 ahhhh i meant to text you earlier, but i have the worst cold From: Y/N 🌙 no clue how or why i caught it but i feel like fucking shit. it’d be a bad idea for me to come over right now From: Y/N 🌙 sorry :( can we raincheck in a few days? From: Y/N 🌙 (that way jeongin can come too!!!)

Felix dislikes this last text, and you snort into your tea.

From: Lix 🐣 Yeah, of course. Don’t apologize From: Lix 🐣 Do you need anything? You’re eating and sleeping well, yeah? From: Y/N 🌙 sleeping, YES. From: Y/N 🌙 eating, not really 😅 but i don’t have much of an appetite anyways From: Y/N 🌙 don’t worry about me. i’ll be raring to go in a day or two

Felix starts to type a response, but the gray dots disappear after a bit, and you set your phone face-down on your nightstand. He probably has to get back to work, and you have to get back to your episode.

Slowly, the soporific fragrance of chamomile and the lull of relentless rain start to weigh on your eyelids, and you slump unconsciously into your makeshift fortress of blankets, your show playing to nobody.

Night has fallen by the time the door of your apartment clicks open, and Felix pokes a head into your dark kitchen, cautiously calling out your name. When you don’t respond, he slips inside and moves to your kitchen counter, where he unloads the bags in his arms. A spare key to your place dangles from the opening of his hoodie pocket.

There’s a quiet knock on your bedroom door, another call of your name—infinitely softer this time, like how one would speak to a dove. But Felix finds you out like a light, even when he closes your laptop and puts it on your desk, checks your temperature with a gentle hand to your forehead. It feels normal enough to let you sleep, but warm enough that he brings a glass of water and two pills of ibuprofen to your nightstand, placed within your reach, should you wake up in the middle of the night needing them.

Using only the slivers of light coming in from the hallway, Felix allows himself to look at your sleeping form. Your breathing is callous but steady; your face pallid but peaceful. And if only you'd seen see the tiny, helpless smile that pulls at his lips; if only you'd heard the pulse protesting against his skin, yelling at him “do something about this, you fucking idiot, and do it soon."

But you don’t see or hear anything; you just speak, instead.

“Stay with me,” you whisper, and Felix’s hand freezes on your doorknob, his eyes widening in the darkness. “Please?”

There is a lengthy period of nothing, during which neither of you makes another noise; there is only the sound of your clock ticking, raindrops rushing against the windows, and Felix’s heart in his ears.

And then he moves.

“C'mere,” Felix murmurs once he’s lying down next to you, and you nestle into his embrace as easily as if you've always belonged there, your face burrowing into the crook of his neck, your arms winding around his waist, searching for him, asking for him.

Felix has always expressed his affection for people through touch, and you’ve gotten used to his constant hand on your shoulder, his leg resting against yours. But he thinks this is the first time you’ve initiated physicality outright, and he feels a concerned pang in his chest at your unexpected vulnerability. He lifts a hand to cradle the back of your head, running his fingers through your hair.

“Gonna get you sick,” you say with a wet sniffle, your voice muffled against him. And Felix presses a kiss to the top of your head, perhaps without thinking as much as he should have; but who can blame him for forgetting to think when he’s holding you the way he is?

“Don’t care,” he answers readily. “I'm not going anywhere.”

At some point before you fall back asleep, you think your mouth actually forms the words I love you, subtly and silently and into the fabric of his hoodie. But you resume your slumber before you can think more of it. (Felix waits until your breathing is steady again, checks your temperature one more time; and only afterward does he allow his eyes to close.)

The next morning, you wake to an empty bed and a Post-It note explaining that Felix had to run to a recording session: Check your kitchen! See u soon x. Accompanied by a small, messy doodle of a baby chick popping out of its egg.

Your face melts into a smile when you see that the fridge is chock-full of fresh groceries and the pantry has been restocked with your favorite snacks, including a batch of Felix’s world-famous sea salt brownies—accompanied by another note with another doodle, this time a crescent moon wearing your sneakers. Sugar is prolly bad for you rn. Pls have in moderation!

When you pull out your phone to thank him for everything, you see his remaining texts from yesterday—and you feel momentarily empty, as if only then noticing that you've been missing a fraction of your soul your whole life.

From: Lix 🐣 I’ll drop by tonight to check on you From: Lix 🐣 Wait for me, okay?

And he is right in front of you, just out of reach.

Four. “This isn’t a bad idea, right?” Chan asks under his breath.

“Nah, they’ll be fine,” Minho replies, clapping a hand on the leader’s shoulder. “Y/N will take care of him.”

A loud yelp comes from up ahead, and the men whip around quickly enough to crack a joint—only to realize that the noise was the opening note of DAY6’s “Not Mine,” and you and Felix have just launched into song so terribly and so loudly that it’s probably awoken the entirety of Seoul.

“And who’s gonna take care of Y/N?”

The two men look at each other for a moment before deciding they’re not interested in talking the two of you out of a disorderly intoxication charge.

“Let me know when you get back!” Chan hollers after you, and they reenter the karaoke bar in a hurry.

The members decided to go out for karaoke after finishing promotions earlier that week, and Felix invited you to come along. And you might've gone a little overboard with the mango sake, but your level of tipsy is nothing compared to that of the blue-haired boy draped over you.

Felix is rather prone to hangovers, you’ve discovered from past experiences, so the moment he started speaking in some kind of nonsensical Korean-English mutation that not even Chan could understand, the members tasked you with taking him home early. Now, Felix has his arm around your neck, less out of affection and more out of a genuine requirement for support, doing his best to walk in a straight line. He hasn't stopped grinning for the last hour, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to run out of energy anytime soon, not as long as there’s more of DAY6’s discography to butcher.

In spite of your foggy mind, you're well aware that your best friend has never been prettier. He sets the bar high as it is, but then you throw in the flushed lips and cheeks, the lopsided, ditzy grin, the wine-kissed complexion, and life becomes terribly difficult for you. It doesn’t help that alcohol amplifies his proclivity for physical contact—he's been attached to your hip all night, holding your waist, pulling you into incidental hugs.

Needless to say, your current situation is a bit precarious; but you don't know that. Not yet.

The two of you finish your disrespectful rendition of “Not Mine” just as you pass the apartment’s front desk, and it is only when you see the deadly look that the receptionist gives you over the brim of his glasses that you finally feel sober again. You have the sense to incline your head in apology. Felix, however, launches into “You Were Beautiful” without a care in the world.

You dig a pointed elbow into his ribs as you hit the up button, and his singing abruptly falters with a pained huff. "Ow."

“Take an intermission, superstar,” you say. “The receptionist looks like he’s ready to throttle us.”

“Ah, he would never. We’re tight,” he returns, and before you can stop him he’s lifting his head, raising his voice. “Have a good night, Mr. Seo!”

Your nose scrunches into an apprehensive wince—but instead, you think you hear a hint of a smile in the man's cool reply.

“You too, Mr. Lee. Keep your voices down, please.”

“Yes, sir!” You and Felix reply in unison. Felix gives you a smile that says I told you so before he nestles his cheek against your shoulder, and you shake your head. Nobody is immune to the boy’s brightness.

Entering the building seemed to be effective in calming Felix down. The elevator ride up is silent save for a bit of quiet humming, and you finally see a bit of sleep on his face when you open the door of his dorm and turn on the living room lights. He lets you escort him to his bathroom without a word.

“I’ll be here if you need me,” you say, reaching to pat his cheeks a couple times. “Be careful in there.”

“M’kay. Thank you," he says with a drowsy smile, and closes the door.

You pull out your phone and open up your messages with Chan, remembering his parting request.

To: Chan 🐺 we got back safe!! To: Chan 🐺 lix is gonna be okay. i'll take care of him

A few minutes later, a notification appears at the top of your screen; Chan left hearts on both of your messages and sent two in response.

From: Chan 🐺 Thanks, good to hear :) you get some rest too, okay? From: Chan 🐺 Bro tore that sake UP

You begin to type back a retort—give me a break it was basically JUICE—when you hear Felix call your name, his voice muffled through the bathroom door.

“What's up?” You answer.

“I think I’m...stuck.”

Now what the hell does that mean?

“Can I come in?”

“Mhm.”

You open the door, and your attempt to suppress your laughter fails with flying colors. Felix is well and truly stuck in his crewneck, the gray material swathed around his head, his arms positioned in some kind of advanced pretzel formation.

“You are a hot mess, Lee Yongbok," you sing, moving toward him, and he whines from inside his cotton prison.

“Please don’t kick me while I’m down.”

Grinning, you bring your fingers to the hem of his top and attempt to lift it over his head. He’s managed to tangle himself quite impressively, and the next few minutes are spent with you trying to extract him, like he’s that one nose hair that your tweezers have never been able to reach, all while he's moaning and groaning about the fabric catching on his earrings, about his joints not being able to handle this kind of pressure anymore.

He emerges from the crewneck a while later looking positively disgruntled. You toss the gray mass onto the counter, proud of your handiwork.

“So maybe I‘m a hot mess,” he concedes. “A little bit.”

“That's alright. We all have our moments,” you giggle. “Come on, let me help you with your jewelry.”

For a second, he looks like he’s about to protest—but the look you give him reminds him that his motor functions are currently on strike.

“Okay,” he mumbles adorably.

You position yourself a little closer to Felix and lift your hands to the nape of his neck, where the clasp of his chain lies. It takes you a few tries to undo it, and you end up having to use the mirror above the sink for guidance. Soon, there is a soft click. You set the chain down next to the crewneck before your hands return to the sides of his face, this time to tuck long, light blue strands behind the cuffs of his ears. Your fingers run over the curves of his silver earrings.

“Are these bothering you at all?” You ask nonchalantly. “I forgot you had so many piercings.”

In your peripheral vision, you see Felix’s lips move, but no sound comes out. Puzzled, you move your eyes to meet his, and it takes you one blink’s worth of time to understand the source of his speechlessness.

Somewhere between your reaching up to touch his necklace and the present moment, you’ve come incredibly, dangerously close to him. Close enough that you can count the freckles that speckle his skin like fallen stars, that you can feel the heat of his body against your own, that Felix’s eyes are nearly crossed trying to maintain eye contact with you.

Your heartbeat lodges itself firmly in your throat, and your thoughts evaporate into complete and utter disarray. There are three differently-worded apologies on the tip of your tongue within seconds. You immediately start to pray that he won’t remember this tomorrow morning. And your strongest impulse is to move; to get as far away from him as possible, before either of you does anything you'll regret.

But there is something that overwhelms your every instinct, and stops you from budging an inch. And that is the way Felix is looking at you, unblinking brown eyes filled with something that doesn’t have a name. It is the same tender expression that’d surprised you the first time you saw it, and it is with a spiraling stomach that you finally realize what that expression is.

You reach your conclusion a second after he does.

Felix’s hand lifts to cradle your jaw, his face moving closer to yours. Your foreheads touch, wisps of his hair falling over the bridge of your nose, your senses engulfed by the vanilla of his cologne and the touch of sweet wine on his breath. The scene is as delicate as a dragonfly’s tail dipping into a pond’s surface; even a minuscule disturbance would shatter this limbo instantaneously.

A part of you wishes that it would, but nothing does. There is only his pulse, perceptible through the thin cloth of his tank top, vehement beneath your fingertips—and your heart, naked and frail, sitting upon the palm of his hand.

Felix doesn’t push you away; he doesn’t kiss you. He does something far worse.

“I love you,” he whispers.

A few seconds. That is how long you stand there for, with every word of every language you know inaccessible, every qualm and doubt and source of anxiety that plagued your mind moments before now distant memories, every ounce of your energy channeled into keeping yourself upright.

But the few seconds feel like forever. The same way he has always felt like forever to you. The same way you imagined you would spend forever loving him, close enough for him to love you back, but far enough that he’ll never know the true nature of your affection: greater and truer than anything anyone would ever call friendship.

An urgent question suddenly surfaces in your mind: is he still drunk? He was falling up, down, and sideways minutes ago. Surely this was an intoxicated slip of the tongue. But you discern the slight tremble to Felix’s breathing and the intensity in his heavy-lidded gaze, all far too intentional, far too conscious to be wine-induced—leaving behind one impossible possibility.

You should be having your happy tears kissed from your face right now. You should be over the moon, relishing in the sensation of two stars aligning at long fucking last, the way you’ve dreamed of since the very first time you laid eyes on Felix.

But instead, you just feel inexplicably and profusely afraid.

You won’t remember the specifics of the next few minutes. You think you stumble away from him and whisper I’m sorry through watering eyes, though you don’t really know what for. He sputters something in return, his tone so desperate and confused that you feel your heart break to pieces on the spot. You apologize again, leave the bathroom, and move towards the apartment door as if your life depends on it. In your peripheral vision, you notice the crease of concern on Mr. Seo’s face when you stalk past him, tears now flying freely down your cheeks. You run into Minho and Jeongin when you step out of the building, and you see the worry that creases their faces, hear their voices calling your name. Jeongin's hand closes around your wrist—are you okay?! What the fuck happened?—but you do not, can not say anything, not right now.

And then you are alone again, and you briskly walk the two miles back to your apartment. Your mind and heart are every bit as foggy as the somber night sky that hangs over your head.

Five. When the two of you step out of the restaurant and into the evening, Felix turns around to face you, launching into his best tour guide walk.

“And, with that,” he says with a glowing smile, “we are nearing the end of our tour of Sydney.”

“Noooo,” you lament, reaching your arm out. Felix falls back into step beside you and links it with his, the movement like clockwork. Your jackets scrunch up together where your elbows bend. “Already?”

“Okay, the tour’s been going on for two days and you haven’t paid a cent for my toil. Don’t push your luck.”

Your laughter spills into the otherwise quiet avenue, the setting sun throwing shadows across the cement, but it always feels like midday when you have the brightest man in the world by your side.

When the two of you discovered you had a free weekend on the same days, Felix conjured up the idea of going home—and suggested that you go with him. You’d freaked out for a bit, but then Felix reminded you that his mom texts you on your birthday and that you’re on multiple different subscription plans with his sisters, and you collected yourself quite quickly. There was a lot of cheering over the phone when Felix informed his family that they’d finally get to meet you in person.

But such a fast trip to the other side of the world proved to be no easy feat. Felix took on the task of piecing together a travel plan that would cover most of his favorite spots in forty-eight hours. The last two weeks were filled with him fretting over the details and you fretting over him, asking time and time again if you could help with anything, only for him to shoo you away with a single hand and a pointed “you are my guest. Now leave me.”

With assistance from every other resource at his disposal, though, he pulled it off, and the weekend has been wonderful thus far.

“I think that was some of the best food I’ve ever had, seriously,” you hum. “I’ll be dreaming about those appetizers for the rest of my life.”

“I'm glad. It took a Socratic seminar to choose the place, after all."

(The Socratic seminar in question: a two-hour FaceTime call and an intense match of rock-paper-scissors between him and his siblings, aimed to decide on where Felix would take you for dinner the second night. Only for his mom to ignore all of their efforts and insist upon her own choice of restaurant instead—no ifs, ands, or buts.)

“We have to try your sisters’ recommendations the next time I visit, don’t we?”

“Yes," he returns, shuddering. "I think my family is done for if we don’t."

He has one place left to take you, and the two of you head there now, shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm.

A month has passed since that night.

You’ve tried with every fiber of your being to put the whole thing from your mind, of course to no avail. You see Felix’s flushed lips and gentle gaze every time you blink; you hear his “I love you” every time you’re alone, the words whispered in the wind and dragged over the earth, in tandem with your footsteps.

You wanted to fucking die of awkwardness in the few days following, but it was never an option for you to avoid Felix for long. The two of you still went on convenience store runs together; still met up for coffee before work; still continued your business as usual, against all odds. And you owed it all to Felix and how he knows you better than you know yourself. He didn’t try to talk to you when he sensed that you had nothing to say; nor did he try to bring you back when you felt miles away. He would just silently slip a pack of your favorite cookies into your grocery basket or order your drink on your behalf.

Felix had questions and wanted answers; there was no doubt about that. But he held his tongue, granted you as much space as you needed to come back to him. And you did, in your gradual, meticulous way.

You’re finally going to bring it up tonight. You’ve planned to since the day you confirmed the trip, and you hope that the final stop of the tour will be the perfect place to bite the bullet.

“We’re here,” Felix says.

The two of you have arrived at the bank of a wide river, and you’re at a temporary loss for words. To your right is a bridge that spans the distance of the water, and to your left is a stunning, panoramic view of the city of Sydney. Twilight has turned the buildings into dark silhouettes against the autumn sunset, and the water reminds you of a palette of oil paints with how it reflects the pinks and oranges in the sky.

Felix feels you tighten your hold around his arm, and he smiles when he sees the wonder in your eyes. He wishes he could see this place for the first time again.

“Not bad, huh?”

“No,” you murmur. “Not at all.”

“C’mon.”

Felix leads you to the center of the bridge, where he props his elbows atop the metal railing and looks over the water. You join him and pull out your phone, but no settings or adjustments render your camera capable of capturing the landscape's beauty.

(Until Felix throws up a peace sign and pokes his head into the corner of your frame. Then it stands a fighting chance.)

“What is this place?” You ask, your shoulder touching his when you also lean over the railing. “Why are we the only ones here?”

“Crazy, right?” Felix says proudly. “I dunno. I think it might be private property, or something. But it’s only a few blocks away from my house and on the way I used to take to school, so I used to come here all the time, always around this time of day.”

Felix’s gaze moves over the sky, oblivious to the fact that his eyes hold whole rainbows of their own.

“There was never anyone around, but I could still hear the birds chirping and the wind in the leaves. It felt like a corner of the world had been sealed off just for me. I’m glad to see that nothing’s changed.”

Some time passes, and Felix tells you more stories about this peculiar bridge: how he asked someone to formal and got rejected and came here to reflect on his actions; how he had to take two different buses every day because his school was so far away from his house, but he always stopped here to feed the families of mallards that came out to swim in the mornings, even if it meant he’d be late; how this was the last place he went to before moving to South Korea, because he knew he’d miss this nook of Sydney most.

Of all the places you've visited, you think this one will remain with you longest. As time elapses, the colors of the sunset augment and deepen, dyeing the world in ways that remind you of the aurora. And then there is the man, wearing a gentle smile to match his softened features, his voice to your ears what honey is to a sore throat, telling you about his past, letting you into yet another chamber of his soul.

You are in no way prepared to butcher the sanctity of this moment, but you know that you can only run for so long and so far. You owe it to him. You owe it to yourself.

When the sun’s final rays are clinging the faraway mountaintops, Felix lifts himself off the railing and stands up straight. “Ready to go home?"

And your hand finds his, the pads of your fingers cold against his skin. Felix is surprised at first, but then he sees the hint of sadness in your eyes and the tension in your shoulders, and he understands what’s coming.

“I want to talk to you about that night,” you say.

Felix doesn’t respond for a few seconds. But when he does, his voice is so soft and so infuriatingly kind that hearing it makes you want to sob.

“...you don’t have to, Y/N.”

“No. I do,” you return, startling even yourself with the firmness in your voice, "I don’t want to keep dancing around the topic, not when you’ve been waiting for as long as you have.”

You feel Felix’s gaze on your face, as if he’s trying to read between your lines, and then he yields with a slight incline of his head.

“Okay.” And the stage is yours.

You don't start talking right away, your mind reeling with the effort to organize everything you feel and verbalize everything you want to tell him. It isn’t until Felix gives your hand a gentle squeeze—you’ve forgotten that you’re still holding his—that you feel rooted in the moment again.

It’s Felix you’re talking to; your soulmate, your sunlight. Nothing you are about to say will ever change that. This, you believe with every fiber of your being.

So you take a deep breath.

“When you said those words,” you begin, and the words sound alien in your voice, despite how many times you’ve rehearsed this conversation in your head, “I couldn’t process a thing. I was so happy, but I was so, so scared. I’ve spent the last month trying to figure out why I was so scared, and I can’t say that I know for sure yet, but I have a much better idea now, and—it’s a lot of things.

“For as long as I can remember, I have only ever been able to love profoundly and deeply, with everything in me. And over time, I led myself to believe that nobody would ever be able to understand or reciprocate my love, not in the manner I want most.”

You feel yourself starting to waver, but you find strength in his touch.

“But you changed that, Felix. You walked into that café that afternoon with your voice and your smile, and suddenly I’d found you—someone who experiences life the way I do, who loves the way I love. And every day since, I’ve been surrounded by you and your effortless warmth and your beautiful soul. It was only a matter of time before I started hoping, constantly and stupidly, that you would one day love me, the same way that I—”

Your voice catches in your throat like a heel slamming into car brakes, “love you” hanging so dangerously from the tip of your tongue that you’re stunned it doesn’t fall out right away.

“But that’s why I’m fucking terrified,” you go on. “When you told me you loved me, I felt like I could fly. But I also felt like I was falling—and maybe this is because I was still tipsy, I'm not really sure—but in that moment I saw a world where we weren't there to catch each other, where something had gone horribly wrong and I'd wake up one morning and you’d—you’d just be a distant memory.

“And that was the thought that shook me so badly: losing you. Leaving you.” You’re crying now, tears paving golden trails against your cheeks. “For whatever reason, that was the first thing that came to mind, and it broke me.”

You need to wrap it up, and fast, if your faltering voice and racing heart are any indication.

“I meant it when I apologized to you that night. I’m sorry, Lix. I’m sorry I made everything so fucking complicated. I’m sorry that I ran away. I’m sorry that I hurt you, or worried you. But I want you to know that I feel more for you than you will ever understand; I just need a little more time to put it into words. So, wait for me—”

Your eyes squeeze shut, and you finally cave, your last word coming out in a shattered rasp.

“—please.”

And the syllable has barely left your mouth when Felix lets go of your hand, only to bring his arms around you and pull you to his chest with such urgency that the breath momentarily leaves your lungs.

When you fall against him, you fall entirely apart. You have no idea where all the feelings are coming from, only that they’re suddenly overwhelming your every sense. And you start to cry, really cry, your fingers seeking refuge in his jacket, in his hair.

The sun departs at last, and night starts to fall. You lose track of how long you remain in this position, shaking with hushed sobs, fighting to regain control of your emotions. But Felix stays with you through it all, muted tears of his own intermingling with yours in the material of his scarf. He holds you carefully yet fiercely, like you really will crumble if he lets go.

And he waits, because of course he does. He would wait lifetimes for you.

One. The way you thaw is like melting snow.

It happens under your nose for the most part, but it is slow, sure, and irreversible, and you open your eyes one morning only to realize that the world outside has changed—and so have you.

You roll over and pick up your phone. There are unread messages from Felix sitting in your notifications, probably confirming the plans you made to get coffee before work today, but you put them on hold for now. Instead, you open up your camera roll and find an album, labeled with a sun emoji and yellow heart.

You made this a few months after you met Felix, and you’ve doted on it since, in the sense that you update it almost every day. Funnily enough, though, you’ve never looked through the album just to look through it. Maybe because you’ve never had the time or felt the impulse, but more likely because you know that the album is a visual time capsule of your relationship with the most important person in your life—which has never been purely platonic for you, despite how hard you’ve tried to change your heart.

Looking through it would mean acknowledging your true emotions, something you’ve never felt ready for.

Now, you open the album without a second thought, a preemptive smile on your lips. And you find yourself swept out of your bed and thrown back inside each of the pictures you see, reliving the moments as vividly as if you’re watching them on film.

This is one of your favorites, taken during a late-night tteokbokki run to a small restaurant behind Felix's company building. Felix was laughing so hard at one of your stories that he could only take bites of his meal every five minutes. His face had broken into a dazzling grin, his figure blurring as he lurched forward in his seat, trying to pull his hood over his face in secondhand embarrassment. Snap. He is always handsome, extraordinarily so, but you think you love the way he looks here most of all: every guard of his lowered, carefree, happy.

Another is from the first time you met Chan. Nowadays, your interactions with the boys consist mostly of running into them at Felix's dorm and making friendly small talk. But it's always been different with the oldest member. The first time Felix introduced the two of you, you clicked straightaway, and you had to have spent four hours after dinner just talking, scouring the city for something cold to eat. By the end of the sweltering summer night, the three of you were perched atop a short stone barrier in a secluded corner of Seoul, right outside the best bingsu place in all of South Korea. Felix had leaned over to steal the last cube of mango from Chan’s bowl, to Chan's dramatic protest. Snap. And Chan is like a brother to you now; you will never be able to fathom how much light Felix has brought to your life, be it through him or the people he loves.

A computer screen displaying a League of Legends scoreboard, in which Felix has died more times than there were minutes of the game. Snap. You (not sober) in the center of Felix's living room, your body poised in what is supposed to be the chorus of “Queencard," Felix and Bin completely losing their shit on the couch. Snap. His head bowed in anguish over a bowl of brownie batter after he mistakes salt for sugar. Snap. A low-quality, tiny Felix on stage, the brightest grin on his face when he finally manages to spot you in the nosebleeds. Snap. Your dining table creaking under the weight of all the gifts he got you for your last birthday. Snap. Him and one of your best friends from home, arms around each other, peace signs thrown up, beaming. Snap.

There are countless more, and they are all so incredibly near and dear to you, all thanks to the freckled boy in each.

You respond to Felix's messages (“be there soon!”), and then move to get dressed. There is a new sense of certainty in your gait when you emerge from your building and into the quiet morning.

The weather is lovely, the fresh sunlight cream-colored against a cloudless sky, the light breeze shuffling the new leaves about. A hound’s ears twitch when you hurry past its home; it is too drowsy to investigate your presence further. The only sounds in the air are the chattering of sparrows in the branches above you and the soles of your shoes, moving quickly across the sidewalk. The wonder in the world is more palpable to you today than it’s ever been.

Soon, the chalk-written menu and hand-carved wooden sign of your favorite café come into view, and you open the door. There are only a few customers inside, and you spot your person right away: his long, dark hair partially pinned back, his figure flattered by a black long sleeve and jeans. He has a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, as well as two drinks on the table before him: one caramel latte and one black milk tea.

When he hears the door jingle, he looks up, and the smile that melts across his face is so fond that you can’t believe there was ever a time when you doubted his feelings for you.

The way his loving smile mirrors onto your face is as inevitable and involuntary as destiny herself.

“Hi,” Felix says, rising from his seat.

“Hey, you,” you answer. “Wanna take a walk?”

And so you do.

You link arms, as always; you try each other’s drinks, as always; you manage to talk about everything and nothing all at once, as always. But when his company building comes into view, your footsteps come to a halt, and your hand fastens around the cuff of his sleeve.

“Hey, Lix—"

When his eyes meet yours, the sun hits them just right, and you have not known anything as clearly and certainly as you do right then.

“—I love you.”

Felix can only stare, his eyes so wide that you can see the whites of them all around, his straw falling from his parted lips.

Then, a smile starts to creep across his face like spilt syrup.

“Say it again.”

“I love you, Lee Yongbok.”

He sets his bag and drink down on the pavement. “Again, please.”

“I love you,” you repeat, starting to laugh. “I love you, I love you, god, I love you, Felix, so fucking much—”

Felix brings his hands to either side of your face, leaning his forehead against your own. And this time, there is no hesitation, no fear—only starlight when he tilts your chin up and finally, finally presses his lips to yours.

Butterflies erupt in your stomach, hordes of them flapping so fervently you feel as though you might take off into the air, but you seek out his elbows, then his shoulders, and then the back of his neck, anchoring yourself to the earth, to him. Felix kisses you like he will never be able to again, and it is all you can do to savor how the curve of his smile feels against your own; how he murmurs the words “I love you, too” in between breaths. He tastes like sugar and smells like shampoo. He feels like forever.

2K notes · View notes

daydreamingyuta · 3 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/daydreamingyuta/748740564117323776

THIS IS SAUR CUTE WHAT

🥹❤️

It’s insane how well you capture mark’s personality through your writings that it feels so real yk?😵‍💫

If it’s possible could you write another version of this butttt make it spidey!mark where the reader tries on his costume?? (don’t blame me pls. 200 and his rem acc is making me feel things HAHA)

Spidey Suit | Mark Lee

summary: fluff, drabble, asking spiderman!mark if you can try on his spidey suit <3 wc: 375 a/n: omg thank youuuu!! that's literally such a sweet compliment omg! thank you for reading and liking my mark drabble 🫶 also I loved writing this and I'm sorry that it took so long but I hope you enjoy it! <3 <3

“Can I… try it on?” You ask, unsure of how he’s gonna respond. Mark isn’t the type to not want you wearing his clothes, actually most of the time he’s the one suggesting it, but you’ve never tried to wear his spidey suit before.

You watch as his face turns into that smile of his that you love so much, revealing his cute cheekbones. “You wanna wear my suit?” You nod your head, hopeful for him to say yes and before you know it, he’s rummaging through one of his draws and pulls it out. “Ok, but I get to take pictures of you in it.”

🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️

You thought that it would be super hard to squeeze into, but it was surprisingly easy. It was tight, without feeling tight at all. Actually, it felt like the most comfortable thing you’ve literally ever worn before.

“It’s nice right?” You hear Mark ask. You had asked him to turn around while you got changed but he must have noticed that you managed to get it on when you stopped moving around so much. (spidey senses).

“I cannot believe you made this yourself, It’s genuinely incredible.” You say, checking yourself out in the mirror. You can’t see him but you know he’s blushing by your comment. “Can I um turn around now?”

“Oh, yeah.” You say, now facing him.

You watch as his eyes focus on you and his head moves back slightly, something he always does when he’s surprised. “Wait, you actually look so cute.”

“What do you mean actually? You weren't expecting me to look good in it?” You say playfully, crossing your arms.

“No, no '' he says, his voice cracking. “I just meant like, when I wear it it’s super intimidating and cool looking. But somehow you just look adorable.” He says, walking towards you.

You give him the sternest look you could muster. “I’m intimidating too.”

“Right right.” He says as he cups your cheeks in his hand, pulling you in to kiss you, “I definitely wouldn’t want you as my enemy.”

“Exactly.” You kiss him back until Mark starts to laugh. “What?”

“Nothing, it just feels funny. Like I’m kissing myself.” You let out a laugh too because of course he would say that.

#mark lee #nct #fluff #drabble #nct 127 #k-pop #imagine #nct dream #nct scenarios #fanfiction #mark lee x reader #mmarm #mark lee x y/n #mark lee x you

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weirdsht · 2 months

Text

More Than Deserving - Kim Rok Soo/Reader pt. 2

notes: ik both the fics are short but i really feel like i can't put them in the same fic, like they have to be separated

tags: female reader, angst, blood, Cale might be ooc, NOVEL SPOILERS (Kim Rok Soo's life back on earth)

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

Buy Me Dessert

Can I Really? (pt. 1) Navigation Masterlist

You are someone who has learned how to live and thrive in a ruined world. You are someone who has survived the cataclysm when everyone around you did not. Someone who hardened at a young age just so she wouldn’t be pushed by power-tripping people.

Sometimes you hate the person you have become. Sometimes you think that you have become a coward who hides her fear in the cold wall she constantly hardens.

However, Kim Rok Soo told you otherwise.

“It’s admirable that you can stand up for yourself. Just ignore anyone who says otherwise, they are just mad that they can’t push you around.”

No matter how nonchalant his voice was, you could tell he meant every word you said. That gave you comfort. Gave you the strength you need to not conform to how other people want to.

You would like to say that it was just his words that motivated you. However, you may be a coward but you aren’t a liar.

So you can’t deny the fact that it was the person, not the words.

That it was because it was Kim Rok Soo who told you those words.

You know yourself. Know that you have been harbouring feelings for the strategist for a long time. Can’t deny the way you would try to seek him out, try to befriend him.

Because you also know that it’s where you draw the line.

It wasn’t for any grand or selfish reasons. It was merely out of respect. Out of loving him so much you don’t want your feelings to burden him. To weigh him down.

So you settled for being friends with him. He was a good friend, really. He may try to act all annoyed and irritable but he will always be there whenever you need him.

Will always be there to watch old crappy movies with you.

Buy or cook the foods you have been craving.

Be a shoulder to cry on whenever you’re feeling sad.

Always cares for you every chance he gets.

Oh my god was he just so perfect.

And it does nothing to help your feelings. Those pesky feelings that you wish would just disappear. Sometimes you would wish for the grounds to swallow you whole because your heart is beating so loud that you swear he could hear it.

But still, you did not respond to your feelings.

What can you say? You guess you love him that much. You love Kim Rok Soo so much that you can’t even think of being selfish and confessing.

Your life continued like that for a long time.

And then a little birdie with a yong let it slip that Kim Rok Soo might just reciprocate your feelings. You then responded to that birdie that you’ll try to confess after the mission you guys are going to.

Unfortunately, you never got the chance to.

The monster was unranked and way stronger than all of you had anticipated. You had no other choice other than to fight in the vanguard along with team leader Lee Soo Hyuk and ability user Choi Jung Soo.

However, despite your efforts the monsters remain unbeatable.

Before you know it the two other Soos are dead. You are covered in blood and dying too.

During your final minute, the thought of confessing crossed your mind.

Maybe it was because of the way your love was holding you so tightly in his arms.

Nonetheless, you thought against it. You cannot leave him with that kind of burden.

“I hope you find someone that can make you happy…”

‘Even if that someone cannot be me. I will be happy to see you happy.’

In the end, your love for him won over your greed of wanting to confess.

In the end, you couldn’t do it.

In the end, you just had to say your confession internally, never for Kim Rok Soo nor the world to hear.

‘I love you… I hope you can learn to love yourself too.’

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ugotcooneycrossed · 1 year

Text

invisible strings

lia wälti x reader

w/c: ~800

you and lia have floated around each others lives for a while- being friends, of friends, until one day you finally see each other.

a/n: YOU CANNOT TELL ME WALLY IS NOT INVISIBLE STRING CODED

this is shorter than i wouldve liked sorry😭

------------------------------------------------------------

You meet Lia Wälti only briefly in 2018- she’s a new signing to Arsenal, a Swiss international, and lately she always seems to linger around Leah.

And you know Leah- she’s your biggest problem as a striker, but also your best friend from the national team. So, when you play against Arsenal one night- you bound over to the blonde after the game, and throw yourself into her arms.

“Lee! It’s so good to see you!”

She wraps you up in a hug- lifting you off the ground and swinging you around, you’re both smiling hard, laughing so loudly that you miss the photographers capturing your sweet moment together.

You notice out of the corner of your eye another Arsenal player lingering near- not anyone you know, so you assume she’s the new signing.

When Leah puts you back down on the ground, she gestures to the girl next to her, the girl- ‘Wally’ as you come to know is indeed the new signing. She flashes you a shy smile and offers you a wave.

You smile back at her- nodding your head at her in greeting, you don’t get to introduce yourself though, as Leah drags you both over to where the photographers are, she flings her arms over both your shoulders and pulls each of you into her side- smiling at the cameras.

When you get home much later- you see the photos, the one where Leah is hugging you- lifting you off the ground. It makes you smile- you don’t however notice the brunette staring at you in the background.

leahwilliamsonn has tagged you in a photo

You get the notification and click on it immediately- it’s the photo of yourself, Leah, and Wally. You click on Wally’s tag and follow her account- and you get the notification that she has followed you back shortly after.

You almost forget about the interaction until a few months later.

It’s a friendly between England and Switzerland- a tough game that ends in a 1-1 draw.

You’re in the middle of trying to wrestle Leah down after she had decided to pour water over your head- when some of the Swiss players approach, well, one Swiss player approaches.

“Leah!”

It’s Wally.

Leah jumps up to talk to her club teammate, and leaves you to lie on your back- staring up at the sky.

You eventually roll over onto your stomach and watch the two- waiting for them to finish speaking. You take the time to admire Wally- you can’t deny her beauty, but you’d rather just admire her from a distance.

Again- too caught up in your own world you miss the photographers capturing Leah and Wally’s conversation, you in the background.

“You’re (y/n)- right?”

You look up from your phone- the familiar face of Lia Wälti staring at you, and you nod at her, shuffling over on the bench and patting the spot next to you.

She sits down and offers you the snack she was eating- you laugh holding your palm out to accept.

“What are you doing in London?”

She breaks the silence between you and you look at her out the corner of your eye- she’s not looking at you, instead she’s staring ahead.

“Just checking out the area I guess.”

You shrug- smiling at her, finally, she spares you a glance and she smiles right back, her hand falling on top of yours.

“I could show you around?”

“I’d love that.”

You end up signing with Arsenal in late 2020- the Instagram post with you signing your contract blows up.

The Arsenal girls comments, litter the comment section- all welcoming you to the club.

Only one stands out to you though.

liawaelti: guess my tour paid off ;)

Your first day at Arsenal just so happens to be media day- individual photos, and a club photo. You barely get the chance to talk to any of the girls for longer than a few minutes before your whisked away.

You try to keep an eye out for Lia but no such luck until the club photo- you’re not exactly next to each other- there’s two bodies between you. Still, you can’t help but glance at each other. When the photographers stop to look at the photo- you both get told to stare forward.

The photos of the whole team that get released are just a slow progression of you and Wally staring at each other. Every swipe, every new photo that comes up- both your heads turn a bit more.

You blush at it.

You settle into the club quickly- and you almost feel bad for replacing LW with another LW.

Though, you really can’t help it.

Wally and you seem to grow impossibly closer- almost like you were tied together, everywhere she was, you were too.

You don’t know when your relationship progressed into more- but it’s confirmed to fans when you share a kiss at the end of a game- photographers right there to capture the moment.

#lia wälti x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso

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lovelynim · 7 months

Text

Aventurine Headcanons

By @ticklystuff

Has a tickle kink.

Didn't realize he had a thing for tickling until meeting someone with their own tickle kink. He finds it to be a fascinating display of control, in a way, not only physically, but mentally.

Loves to whisper into his lee's ear about not only how he's going to tickle them, but how they're going to laugh and react because he's just that good at what he does. He sprinkles these little teasers without actually tickling his lee, maybe a hand drumming at a specific spot, but the droplets are necessary for the whole experience.

Enjoys playing games with his lee. His favorite is making a bet that spot B will be more ticklish than spot A. If he's wrong, then he gives his lee a break, but if he's right, then he'll make sure it's disastrous for his lee. Loves watching for the subtle changes in expression as he approaches the spot he's betting on.

Prefers when his lee is breathy with laughter, but not hysterical, to keep a sense that it could get worse at any minute.

Absolutely cannot take what he dishes out when he's the lee. Would rather his ler go for the kill rather than drawing things out and messing with his mind.

Surprisingly hard to crack, but that makes it all the more fun. Some tips would be to compliment him while tickling ("show me that pretty smile") or just look him directly in the eye because he can't handle eye contact when tickled and will demand his ler to stop through stuttered laughter. Makes the most inhuman and shrill shrieks when he finally breaks and is reduced to begging. Is also absolutely a squirmer.

Often will insult or bicker with his ler while being tickled. He can't help it because it's the only thing he can do to distract himself from the sensations. Using the same aforementioned compliments, even after being insulted, will manage to catch him off-guard, turn his face red, and result in more insults.

Does not enjoy bondage when it comes to him being the lee. Needs to feel somewhat in control of something at all times.

Good tickle spots include feet, back, hips, ears, and pecs. Rougher tickles will get the strongest reaction, but he absolutely cannot stand massage-like tickles because they make him feel like he's being toyed with.

A/N: I needed to share these gems he dropped on my dm because that's what we do with the nice stuff, right?

Again, thanks for feeding me, dear, I'll make sure to put some of those amazing ideas to use soon ~

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail tickling #aventurine #headcanons

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kings-paintbrush · 3 months

Note

Do you think any of the yellowjackets would age regress?

I was planning on making this aesthetic headcanon post with drawings and borders and stuff but I’m EEPY so,, UGLY LOOKING HEADCANONS!!!!!!

LAURA LEE :3333 i headcanon her as a Flip. A voluntary regressor! I think Laura Lee would just be a little angel, such a sweet little one. Always sharing and being able to put up with the other,,, not so well behaved little ones. As a Caregiver I CANNOT get the idea out of my head that she’s like a teacher. Giving the little ones lessons by the lake side, total Miss Honey from Matilda vibes… like teaching them their alphabets or their numbers with little songs 🥺🫶🏿

Lottie Matthews- Also a Flip, but with a caregiver lean. (In the wilderness she’s forced into a leader/carer role. So she’s definitely constantly taking care of all the littles). I think Lottie would be kind of independent when little, (involuntary.) maybe from ages 5 to 7, she’d want to do things on her own but mostly want a caregiver for supervision. Lottie would be nonverbal when regressed since she’s always had trouble communicating anyways. She likes to be praised for the little things, like pouring her own glass of milk and getting dressed— she was just never given attention much as a kid so that’d be nice for her.

Taissa: Regressor! I think it’s very much so involuntary and mostly to Middle space, she would have a lot of like tantrums and be generally pouty and mad. She probably wouldn’t notice she was little until someone else pointed it out.

Natalie: Teen Regresssor! Bc of trauma. Nat probably regresses to the ages of like 12-14. I think for the most part she would like sucking on lollipops but I could 100% see her making a deco paci. she’s usually rebellious when little, but it’s all in good fun, I could see maybe Lottie being her caregiver and Nat calling her “mom” or “ma”. But ALSO she may be a flip bc I love the idea of her being like a babysitter/big sister caregiver… she’s so sweet Misty: Pet Regressor/Flip. Vibes only. She bites people. She’s a puppy, a little excited puppy. Like in the pilot when she got excited doing the “BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ” and also as an adult she’s LITERALLY a caregiver so… Misty’s a lot of fun but idk, I could see her not really being good at dealing with high emotion situations (Ie; tantrums or accidents). She could come on a bit hard and condescending.

Mari: Regressor! Older kid, maybe 7-10! Mari’s personality definitely stays the same. A little Asshole if you ask me. I think Lottie would be her main caregiver, her mommy. But since Lottie takes care of ALL the little ones, Mari may act out for attention. I think Mari gets REALLY focused on the crafts she does and may not always notice when she has to go, so she’s padded. She’s super insecure abt her age regression bc of it. Javi Martinez: THATS A BABY. I’m right. I always will be. He’s semi verbal/nonverbal. he DEFINITELY clings to Shauna, that is his mama and I’m correct (i always am). Like just just I love them. He’s so sad and scared :c Shauna: Shauna’s an honorable mention bc I see her mostly as a Trauma Caregiver, she’s a mama to cope… but also Melanie Lynskey basically canonized Teen Regressor! adult Shauna so…

look me dead in my eyes and tell me this isn’t a mama and her little… HONORABLE MENTIONS: Fun dad/papa Jackie and strict mama Shauna, Big Brother CG Van, Playmate Crystal, Occasional Babysitter Akilah, Laura Lee giving Lottie one of those erasable magnet boards so she can write/draw to communicate, and ermmm that’s it :3

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anavatazes · 12 days

Text

Hi. *shuffles feet* Been a while. Might still be a bit yet before I start posting regularly again. Long of the short? Had a bit of mental break and needed a break. Slowly easing my way back into things. Slowly.

Obligatory picture of Mara, taking the youngest to school. Her favorite thing, next to eating ❤️.

Anyway, heart is still in a stranglehold by Joel. Pedro as Joel is NOT helping, as he does 😏.

And what really prompted this, was one of my original heartbreakers from when I was a teen, in combination with one of my most favorite characters in comics are coming together again to expand on their time together in the Savage Land 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠.

Is it January yet 🤤🤤?

Uncanny X-Men 269, 274 & 275 were my favorites when they came out. Rogue was already my favorite character among Storm and Nightcrawler, but this story really captured her essence. She was depowered, just arrived out of Siege Perilous, no one else around, and is attacked by the Mauraders. She uses Gateway's ability to escape but ends up in the land of dinos, fighting Carol Danvers, and being saved by the missing Magneto?! Who Jim Lee really could draw 🤤🫠. It's a great story, and I recommend it.

And now, this January, they are revisiting that story to fill in some gaps. I do hope they don't do any retcons. There is enough hate from Rogue/Gambit shippers as it is, that if they even get a hint of Magneto anywhere near Rogue, they explode. It's like, dude, fucking chill. Gambit has been the end game all along. We all knew it from the moment the Cajun first laid eyes on her. They are married now. If ya'll don't stop, I'm gonna start hating a favorite couple of mine... and it's not the one you want.

Also, no retcons in this, because, well, Magneto is the king of retcons, and I am tired of it. The major being his children Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Sorry, not sorry, you cannot still draw Pietro like Max, and say Max did not birth that boy. Nope. Even acts like him, still. It's Max Eisenhardt, Jr. So, no retcons. Don't cheapen the Legacy romance nor ruin things in the ROMY world.

Seeing more of Magneto helping Rogue figure out what is wrong with her powers, please! The man is a fucking genius. Self-taught in so much, too! Let the man show off! Part of what makes him so hot 🔥.

I want to see Colossus' son. Other than a blip here and there, we saw him last in the 80s, I think? Even if it's in passing with the tribes Ka-zar and Shanna are helping, just something!!!! The X-Men know he’s there. WTF happened to him?! This would be perfect for it.

Zaladane. More backstory, please. We were never given 100% yea or nea if she is, in fact, another of Magneto's children or what her exact connection to Polaris is. Not sure what I want, other than closure. This is as close to a return for the character as we're gonna get, and I will enjoy every minute.

I read a good chunk of Tim Seeley's run on Nightwing, and he's good. There is hope that this just won't be a wet dream of a scantily clad chick with two half nekkid guys and dinosaurs! Dick Grayson is a pretty complex character, as are Rogue and Magneto, so I feel they are in good hands.

As a few who are reading this know, I've been looking for pre-order information. I still haven't found any. But I did find an exact release date for issue #1 -

January 15, 2025. It's already on my calendar. I will probably blow my husband's mind and buy both digital and physical on this straight away. I always get digital on the Kindle and use the points I earn to buy more digital, which saves me tons of $$$$. Then, I will buy the TPB or individual issues of the books I want. It's rare I go straight in. But I want more Rogue stories, and this is how you get more Rogue stories.

Hope all that was understandable. Thanks to a stupid change in insurance, I am without one of my meds, and I am feeling it. Lack of sleep, high anxiety levels, and a breakthrough migraine that won't stop. I may not have been all that coherent 😄. Anyway, love you bitches. I am making my way back. Slowly.

#joel miller #x-men #rogue #magneto x rogue #rogueneto #rogneto #rogue x magneto #rogue the savage land #magneto #anna marie lehnsherr #max eisenhardt #erik lehnsherr #savage land

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wellspokenrambler · 1 year

Text

I didn't really watch Adventure Time growing up much, but absorbed a lot of its lore/themes via internet osmosis, so when Fionna and Cake started coming out I was curious to see what they were gonna do with the characters after where they were left at the end of the show.

What I didn't expect was that Episode 6 "The Winter King" was gonna have one of the most spectacular and gorgeous animated sequences outside of Spider-Verse and a fantastic song in "Winter Wonder World" to go along with it! I tried to emulate the aesthetic of Emmy Cicierega's backgrounds and Hettie Lees' paints while drawing Simon "The Winter King" Petrikov aka 2023's Most Likely To Destroy Tumblr's Trending Topics.

As for the posing - perhaps he does not commit the crime of manspreading in the episode itself, but I cannot in good conscience put it past the guy. If you've seen the episode you know what I mean.

Also, it goes with out saying, but I'm just super proud of Brian David Gilbert for voicing him so well in a challenging role! Imagine my friends and coworkers' confusion as I point to this be-suited twirling figure on the telly and go "that's my spin instructor!"

#adventure time #fionna and cake #winter king #the winter king #adventure time: fionna and cake #if i got asked to hold myself up alongside someone who had been doing the same thing professionally longer than i'd been alive #i would fold like a piece of wet paper #which is why i am a twitch streamer and not a voice actor ;)

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tired-reader-writer · 5 months

Text

I was re-listening to the AU playlist (thankfully my headache doesn't seem to be preventing me from music tonight) and I felt the urge to ramble about stuff sooooo. Lyric highlights, a brief aside on why I might've chosen a particular song, that kind of stuff! I won't be breaking down entire songs, though.

If y'all wish to listen along as you read this... inordinately long post... Here's the link to the playlist:

“If these newly sprouted feelings resound in your heart, I can stay by your side and protect you, right?”

“Holding up the light I erase my hesitations

What I wanted to give you was a future

I scream out my grief, holding onto crying nights”

— Oath Sign, by LiSA

Ain't this just so fucking Shapur in Wolfsong?

“Even if I lose, even if I fail

I have no choice but to keep living

No matter how many times I fall

I have something to protect”

“This is the path I choose, the only path given”

— Kamado Tanjirou no Uta, by Nakagawa Nami, covered by Raon Lee

Pretty much the theme of the AU. They didn't choose this world, but they have to live in it. And protect what they can, while they're at it.

“Can you still smile even after seeing the real world?”

“A spiral song clears the way for one willful hope”

“You don't know how reckless you are

You make me blue”

“Whisper your name again

Then restart it right away

Oh my bitter color ardour wander

Gotta feel it undercover”

— Avid, by Mizuki and Hiroyuki Sawano

Of Ayunnen and Kashi's POVs as they're befriended by Shapur, though the final highlight was from Shapur's POV.

“The moon moves on

Death rides on

The raven flies in the evening”

“Long is the journey

Long are the paths to go

Long-lasting is the longing of men, if this is to be”

— Máninn Líður, by SKÁLD

Aaaaaand the massacre happens. They're dead. Grief enters the scene.

“Within this neverending rain

No longer am I afraid of yesterday

The future that had lost you

Had just begun”

“The cruel sky shines upon

Both what was lost

And what will never change”

— Aria, by Kalafina

The neverending rain both for the literal rain that bookended the chapter but also the metaphorical rain of grief that will follow the characters for years to come.

“You who are crying, you who are lonely

It is you who is right, it is you who is human”

“Dreams you want to fulfill, dreams that you can't reach

They themselves turn into dreams, into hope, and that's how people live on, right?”

“Thank you to the miracle

That we were able to meet

Even in a dirty and ugly world

Even like this”

— My Song, by GirlDeMo(Angel Beats) uhhh I haven't tracked down the irl singer who sang this, SORRY 😭

I chose this track primarily for Farangis. Imagine a young Farangis, struck with grief of losing her parents, ostracized by everyone else in the temple out of jealousy, and the first highlight is a reassurance that she has a right to cry, that she's human because of it.

The second highlight is more abstracted from her, more about hope in general.

The third comes right back to Farangis, she feels grateful to have met the clan and expanded her horizons, even in a shitty world like this. It's what draws Ranna/Ashaya to her, as well.

“Tears spill for the days you cannot return to The sky above burns crimson”

“Here, fulfill the ancient vow O night, break to dawn!”

“As if piercing a passing doubt Nock your arrow to your bow, release it far, far away”

“You, don't forget Your dream of seeing the burning end of the skies Those fragments will surely awaken, waiting”

— Akatsuki, by Shikata Akiko, covered by Shannon

Mostly just for these lines

Ancient vows and dawn arriving, it kinda sounds like a prophecy, doesn't it?

“Where it's covered in all the colored lights

Where runaways are running the night

Impossible comes true It's taking over you”

“Colossal we come renegades in the ring

Where the lost get found in the crown of the circus king!”

— The Greatest Show, by The Greatest Showman Cast

Mostly for these lines about runaways and renegades lol

Also the song has immaculate Kazai vibes

And shenanigans

“Sticking it out, letting you down

Making it right”

“Seasons, they will change

Life will make you grow

Dreams will make you cry, cry, cry

Everything is temporary

Everything will slide

Love will never die, die, die”

“Some nights, I think of you

Reliving the past, wishing it'd last

Wishing and dreaming”

“Death can make you hard, hard, hard”

— Birds, by Imagine Dragons

The POV of those who remain.

“I met you

And had a dream that would never come true”

“Wanting to protect you

I reached out

And embraced you with my still trembling fingers”

“All we can do is keep on living

Until we lose all our strength

We'll keep shouting helplessly”

“The proof that I was here

Is still there, in your eyes”

“Crying, screaming, and even as we vanish

We are alive

We are here”

— Sprinter, by Kalafina

Themes of the story, pov of the survivors, the desire to protect, etc!

And from a people that kept being erased over and over, a declaration that they still exist.

No but really, the song is really good.

“In the silence of a world wearing a veil of misty rain Suddenly, I saw how cold the face of truth could be”

“What else shall we let go To live our lives the only way we knew The birds are soaring in the sky So high above us all, we who cannot fly We dragged our wounds behind us And kept walking on”

“Through the emptiest of nights, ones that freeze you to your bones If we stay together closely, we will see the morning light What is the reason why, we can't stop this chain of hurt How much longer will we relive the past, the same memories?”

“Unlike the birds that soar the sky We have no wings, and though we won't learn to fly We stand above the earth now And keep walking on”

— flowers, by Hana Hope (English version)

Almost copy-pasted the entire song here

It's a song about humanity. It makes me so damn emotional.

Keep walking on. Share the warmth. Stay close together. Hey why do we keep hurting each other?

Themes very relevant to Wolfsong.

“For what reason

Have I been engulfed by flames?

I have been captured by fear

For such a long time

Now these flames will never extinguish!”

— The Star Knows, by Hoshimi Junna (Revue Starlight anime), I don't know who the irl vocalist is

HILMES SONG.

MOST OF THE SONG IS VERY HILMES.

“Now I'm fighting this war

Since the day of the fall

I've been desperately holding on to it all

But I'm lost

I'm so damn lost”

“Oh I wish it was over

And I wish you were here

Still I'm hoping that somehow—”

“As I'm lying awake

I'm still hearing their cries”

“And I'm wondering why

I still fight in this life

Cause I've lost all my faith

In this damn bitter strife”

— Shot In The Dark, by Within Temptation

I know this song doesn't fit Saam's vibes but. Hear me out.

The first parts just scream of him after the siege of Ecbatana, yeah?

Though the part about losing faith reads more Kubard, tbh

“As I paint a crimson artwork on the ground

With every piercing sound another worthless soul lies dead

Until my hands are dyed a brilliant red”

“Destroy them all (destroy them all)

I can't stop

No, I cannot stop

This need inside of me for more destruction

Powerless, powerless

So fragile is humanity

Cause in the end (in the end)

They're nothing except useless puppets

‘What's the reason for our creation?’

Hey, I'm asking you

So what do you say?”

“Cause here we draw the line

And every single thing is defined (black or white)

The very moment we were given our names

Our roles have been pre-ordained

When I snap my finger

None will remain”

— Karakuri Burst, English cover lyrics by SirHamnet

Ranna/Ashaya and Hilmes duet. On hindsight Hilmes' parts need quite a bit of stretching, buuuut he is dubbed “The Prince of Justice” by the Master in canon so someone who's trying to rid Pars of “evil” could fit right in. Ashaya is lashing out, destroying everything in their path, and sees nothing worth saving in this wretched society. Hilmes is caught up on the birthright stuff (our roles have been pre-ordained) sooo. Yeah.

“Why'd you make my voice stutter?

Why do truths never matter?

Why'd you curse me with ‘You're a natural-born genius’?

Endless inferno (inferno)”

“If you wanted me to live

If you wanted me to forgive

If you wanted to pretend like we're civilized humans—”

“Why don't deaths end my torture?

Why don't anyone feel my hurt?

Why do we crown our most violent to be champions?”

— In Hell We Live Lament, by Mili

Could be Araya, could be Ashaya. Wounded by the world, questioning it.

“And besides in the mean, mean time

I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart”

“I just gotta get you out the cage

I'm a young lover's rage

God I need a spark to ignite”

“My childhood spat back out the monster that you see”

— Light Em Up (My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark), by Fall Out Boy

Kazai and Ranna/Ashaya's song. Their feral tendencies coming to the forefront!

“As long as we're together

I will believe

There's a continuation for our destiny”

“When we were small

We made a single precious promise

I will not give up

I will recreate it

I wanted to see you”

— Starlight, by Aijou Karen and Kagura Hikari (Revue Starlight anime)

Not gonna lie this song is on thin ice despite how much I love it.

I initially kinda wanted it to be a song for Ashaya and Alfarīd— in the case that they did meet in their younger years, but now I'm not so sure.

On second glance it oddly reads as Daryun and Narsus????

Do with that what you will.

“What will I embrace

As I discard in the shadow of desire

This ideal of mine, drenched in pain?

It feels like another world, but this is the truth

With these stained hands I will protect you”

“What have I lost

As my awakened heart

Betrays yesterday's justice?”

“Now I'll brandish my glittering dream in the darkness

So that it will shine upon our overlapping lives

With the strength I have chosen

I will reach the place I believe is paradise

The hope that is our bond

Is connecting us to the future

Let us overcome our unhealing sorrow

My full emotions, unafraid of being broken

Are simply waiting for dawn to come”

— Another Heaven, by earthmind

Shapur's song. His and Kazai's, moreso Shapur's for the lines about discarding the ideals he once had.

The song is from the perspective of a protagonist who lets go of his heroic ideals and his dream of becoming a hero, in favor of saving the woman he loves. A song from the story of a sword finally becoming human.

This is Shapur's resolve settling, having decided what it is that he wishes to protect.

“Finally breaking, so where are you now?

It's been such a long time that I've tried to live without

I'm suffocating, I need you to breathe!

So pull me up, pull me out

Before I am buried beneath!”

“Thought I was climbing out

But it's dragging me down

What's hidden here with me

Thought I was alone

But it pulls me deeper now

I can't escape!”

— Buried Beneath, by Red

Gurgin's song in this AU, imo. Thought he was sticking it to the society that hurt him and killed his brother by joining Team Zahhak, only to realize much later down the line (after unwillingly staying in Gorgan for a while) that... they were only dragging him down. Maybe he's calling out to his brother.

“Test my will, test my heart

Tell me how the odd's gonna stack, huh?

Y'all go hard, I go smart

How's it working out for y'all in the back, huh?

I've seen that frustration

Been crossed and told no

And I've come back, unshaken”

“I can't fall back, I came too far

Hold myself up and love my scars”

“I don't fold up and I don't bow

I don't roll over, I don't know how”

— Lost In The Echo, by Linkin Park

Mostly vibes, but I felt this captured Gurgin's kinda haughty attitude, lmao.

“An existence that was born in the city

Seeming stronger than anyone else

Now we can only imagine our cursed and doomed future”

“Running and falling

Embracing these wounds that won't heal

For this moment the world has been waiting for”

“Drowned in the weakness of my inner self

I don't even know what mask (face) I should wear now anymore

So won't you give me an answer?”

“I know that it may look ugly and pathetic

But this is who I am right now

A corpse that cannot become anything, so go ahead and laugh”

— Kaikai Kitan, by Eve, covered by Raon Lee

Hilmes, fresh out of the haunted-forced-redemption-temple :D

“The pain layers upon itself and becomes shackles

I have no time to be crying

The helpless night and the the disheartened morning

They keep passing over and over

And what was left of the cruelly broken hope

Was a wavering light”

“The justice someone's wielding hurts so much

Even if someone's crying

It will hurt my heart again

Even if there are scars behind every single truth

I have no choice but to simply—

Forgive them all”

— Untitled world, by ReoNa

Areyan/Arslan's song in the AU, after he's been rescued from Ecbatana.

“I will change reality itself

Even if the truth I find is harsh and cruel

The world is filled with disasters

Time to tame the sins, change our fate”

“The rocky castle is starting to shake, it's finally time to decide

Whether to repair or rebuild, a choice must be made”

— Vivid Vice, by Who-ya Extended, covered by Raon Lee

Song for a redeemed Hilmes.

“It's a scream that my body alone cannot contain”

“I have a heart that trembles

Only when I touch your hand”

“It's fine even if it's foolish

It's fine even if it's ugly

There where lies beyond righteousness

I want to hold your hand”

— Suzume, by RADWIMPS ft. Toaka

Song of a redeemed Gurgin who is in love with Isfan.

“A world where nobody hurts each other

May be a baseless optimism

But even so, I want to try betting on it”

“Anger and grief get passed

From person to person in the blink of an eye

They create enemies that don't even exist

And thus ignite the call to fight”

— Yakodou, by Sakamoto Maaya

The song's not particularly dedicated to any one character, really, it's more of an all-compassing song

ALL THE MENTIONS OF BELLS

Think of it as a song before the final showdown against Zahhak.

“As I carry irreparable shadows

The promised place is where flowers bloom

With no care for sin or love

There goes spring

The shining light

Is simply dazzling in the sky

Please do not forgive me

I want to be broken, I want to be reborn

I will laugh by your side”

— Haru wa Yuku, by Aimer

The ending song of the finale in a movie trilogy, this one carries a tone of finality. And the lyrics felt fitting for a Hilmes near or at the hypothetical ending of the story.

The rest of the song could be echoed for other characters, but yeah.

And that concludes most of the songs in the playlist!

Rapid-fire round for the ones I didn't cover:

Soleil: roughly has the tone of a tale being retold— a martyr who gave too much and then died— the song that inspired Araya, a mythological figure for the clan.

Lostbelt title theme: an instrumental, to set the tone for a grand story— though I initially envisioned it panning over the long-gone ancient island, where the clan was said to have originated from, the island where Araya died

Noh Chant: Kaykhusraw's betrayal, Iumaka's death

Dance of the Spirit: clan vibes, especially kinda sorta Kazai in a ceremonial setting?

Moonsong: Ayunnen's song

Parent's Feelings: the somber tone of the castle after the massacre.

girls, dance, staircase: the vibes of a quiet morning

Yuki no Hitohira: more of the somber grief.

Rain: The entire song is just so clan-coded

Wolf Blood: Isfan and Kashi, need I say more?

Crucible: Ashaya/Ranna character song

The Nights: Kazai vibes. The line “Think of me if ever you're afraid” makes me go soft.

Homeland: the castle and Shapur's lands as they grow with the clan's presence, the feeling of being home

Garden: joyful tone setter

Yakety Sax: SHENANIGANS

It's My Day: fun tune, an energetic morning

朝市にて: Ecbatana before shit goes horribly wrong

Sulcus: Areyan's brainstorming song during the siege and Lusitanian occupation

Chaotic Battle: Ashaya's battle theme

Shura Fire: Alfarīd's battle song

Spirit of the Wild: Kazai's song

Sediment: Team Zahhak vibes

Silhouette: Team Zahhak vibes

Deep Darkness: the haunted temple Hilmes gets trapped in

Hitogashima Ballad: seems to be a children's song/lullaby, the vibes fit Araya The Younger (not the mythological one, Kaykhusraw's son he killed and wiped off of history), a ghost Hilmes encounters in the haunted temple

Nijamena: I could not for the life of me find translated lyrics so it's on here for the supremely epic vibes

Fate/Apocrypha: preparing for the final showdown vibes, has a mystical air to it soooo

FGO's Grand Battle Theme: HERE COMES THE FINAL SHOWDOWN BABY

The Last of the Starks: Team Gorgan aka Shapur's family and the clan at the end of everything kinda vibes

Labyrinth: Hilmes leads a ceremony to apologize to those Kaykhusraw had betrayed and murdered, put the spirits at ease, held where the haunted temple is.

@innerchorus Since you were interested, here ya go!

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #heroic legend of arslan #wolfpack au #winds of wolfsong #I'm... not gonna tag the characters

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