#also i maintain that. sick obsession . g good

[theokusgallery]

oh i'm glad to hear that your day ended on a good note atleast also i forgot to mention that listening to most of the songs i sent here as suggestions while trying to draw either helps or doesen't help, in between (most songs i've listened to are Oleander & Stalker's tango)

If you're listening to Stalker's Tango while trying not to have bi panic over Nick, that's probably not gonna help very much.

[nahoyasboyfriend]

nsfw alphabet — Seo moonjo

A/N: I'm still getting a feel for his character. Forgive me if these are ooc. I tried 😭

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He is surprisingly doting. Wiping you down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, massaging places he knows will be sore later. I could see him brushing your teeth for you, and helping you into a change of clothes.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He doesn't pay attention to his features for the most part but he likes his hands. They're key to his job and the creation his "art". His intelligence & poise is a good runner-up.

As for you, I think he'd like your face. Not only because he thinks you're pretty, but because he loves seeing how you react to things. Your cheeks streaked with tears, eyes all wide and glossy. It's mesmerizing to him.

Another favorite of his is your neck & your wrists. He likes to decorate them with jewelry.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It doesn't matter to him, but he does enjoy the visual of your skin glistening with his cum. But he equally likes the closeness of cumming inside.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Hard to choose between him stalking you and watching you sleep, or the sick gratification he gets from getting you to unknowingly try human meat.

if we move past the creepy stuff, it might be his deep dark fantasy of total loss of control. To be tied up and completely at your mercy. But that takes a lot of trust on his part. I don't even know if he'd acknowledge he wants that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he's not as experienced as he acts, but he's good enough to pretend he is. Like he's not a virgin, but he doesn't go out of his way to bed anyone. He doesn't watch porn because he doesn't get anything out of it. He prefers imagination.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything where he can see your face. He wants to be able to see how everything he's doing affects you in real time. Like how your eyes gloss over, or how your bottom lip quivers. He needs to see all of it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

nope, he treats sex very seriously. However, if he's feeling mean he'll poke fun at you a bit with that creepy little smile on his face.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He definitely trims. He has a thing about good personal hygiene & maintaining upkeep.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sex with him is very intimate in the weirdest way. Sex with him isn't usually romantic, it's more obsessive. Very all-consuming, just like him as a person. Sex is very personal to him when it comes to you, and it's like he's trying to read your soul through touch. there's a sense of control in that to him. He wants to know everything about you.

His words can be very romantic though, murmuring about how beautiful you are, and how much he loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not something he does often, but occasionally he partakes in a little self indulgence.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Intoxicated sex, but you're the one intoxicated. Not enough that you're not cognizant of what's happening, but drunk enough your words are slurred & you need his help to function. Honestly, he likes dubcon a lot.

Being in control all the time, and I don't mean that in the sense that he likes barking out orders (though he does enjoy it) he gets something out of being the one in control emotionally too. He loves casual dominance.

Choking is another big one. He almost always has a hand wrapped around your neck. He doesn't always squeeze, sometimes he just holds it there. He's not opposed to your hands around his neck. In fact, he encourages it. Actually violence is his kink. Threaten him, fight him, direct all your hurt at him and he's on his knees.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He prefers to do it in the comfort of his or your home.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Gets off on seeing you angry. Something about it goes down south immediately. Maybe it's the thought of you getting so angry you resort to violence, but he loves it. Especially if the anger is directed at him.

Another is seeing you cry. He thinks hopelessness looks amazing on you. If you cry when you get angry, he's never been more turned on in his life. Not pretty kind, the ugly blotchy face with red rimmed eyes... The type of sadness that you wouldn't want anyone to see.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Watersports, there's nothing sexual about that to him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He seems like a giver to me. Watching you fall apart is deeply satisfying to him. He'd rather give than receive, but he loves your mouth. Unfortunately, he doesn't get all whimpery & pathetic when you suck him off.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He's not exactly fast but he's not slow. It's hard to explain but do not believe for a second that he won't fuck you stupid. if you ask nicely he can speed it up or slow it down.

Q = Quickies (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc)

Not a big fan. He would rather wait; he doesn't like to be in a rush.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he's not gonna go out of his way to experiment. He does things he knows he likes. He's not against trying new things, but you'd have to suggest it and it's up in the air if he'll do it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last for an abnormally long amount of time. It's kinda scary.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He does not. He doesn't see the point when he can please himself & you just fine. It's not a jealousy thing either, he just truly doesn't think you'll ever need it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can be really mean. Continuously edging & overstimulating you. He loves pushing your limits until you can't take anymore.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not too loud. There are grunts and groans scattered throughout. He talks you through it. Praising you, or if he's feeling evil, he taunts you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He does things to make sex slightly painful. Sucking a little too hard when he's giving hickeys, biting your lip too hard, fucking you without prepping you properly. He's an intense kisser, kinda suffocating. like I don't think kisses are soft and romantic with him ever. It always feels like he's trying to devour you. Pressing his lips against yours too hard, or using too much teeth. But he only has this problem when he kisses you on the mouth, gives you the softest cheek & forehead kisses.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

7 inches, it's long and pretty like him.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He doesn't really care for people, finding most of them generally displeasing to be around, so it's hard for him to want to have sex with anyone. However in a relationship, it's definitely higher.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He usually doesn't go to sleep. he's a night owl, and he seemingly never gets tired. After he gets you situated, he might even take a smoke break. If you're like him, the two of you might go for a walk, or simply enjoy each other's company. Though if he has to work the next day, he goes to bed by your side after.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

I love the idea that creed likes pets from people he considers to be pack, but i would love to hear what kinds of affection you think he likes?

do you think he likes gifts? touch? how does he return those sorts of affections?

Okay, platonic yandere affection for Sabretooth headcanon time!

• This guy loves physical affection. Pets, hugs, cuddling, sleeping in a nest or bed or sprawled in the same room together, nuzzling, grooming hair and combing it and braiding it, fist bumps, large pats on the back like getting hit by a bear, bear hugs, he craves touch, he only wants it from his obsessions/pack, though (so definitely Logan, possibly Remy, Laura, and Reader, and maybe some of the adults or teens he views as pack or pack-adjacent)

• Appreciates gifts. You took time out of your day or night to get him something or make it or cook it or prepare it, so he appreciates it, if not loves it or cherishes it or stores it safely in his room (den) where no one but him is allowed to see it or touch it. You got him some gloves or a fur/fluff-limed coat? He's wearing it proudly, warmly, and gets mad if anyone tries to tear it or get blood on it. You found some bones on your walk and wanted to give them to him? If he can, he's collecting them in a special container, or even wears them as a necklace. You made him a cake for his birthday? With frosting and buttercream and handmade decorations? He will savor each bite, he is making sure you eat a piece too, and will not share unless it's with someone else he trusts or views as pack (family). You made a painting of him? He's putting it up in his room (den), or in his own safe house, it's being kept pristine and dust-free and protected from aging, and he will show you different forms of art He's learned over his near two hundred years of existence...

• If you spend time with him, he looks forward to it. You are on the same team, and have been teamed up for a mission? Ha, looks like you two get to bond a little! You went on a hunting trip with him, instead of staying out of the rain and staying warm? Well, he's making sure you both get something, and will lrudky display whatever you catch, while cooking the meat (will also collect pecans and walnuts with you or even some wild berries when those are in season). You ask him if you two can go to a museum? He's taking you, he's keeping away anyone who stares too long at you two, and might even steal a piece later if you seemed to really like it...

• Call him "pretty good", "a friend", or "dad", amd you're not getting rid of him, EVER. He loves hearing praise, especially ehen it comes from you. You call his claws "awesome" and "so sharp, that's wicked!" and "shiny", he's purring, and possibly helping you maintain your nails/claws/talons just as well as his. You say he's "a master of the hunt", "a clever hunter", "strong as a bear", or anything that compliments his wits or strength or hunting abilities, he's preening at it, chest puffed out and a fanged smile on his lips. You say something such as "You're coat is so cool, and soft!" or "your hair is well-kept", or "huh, those are sturdy boots", he's prideful about it, because he takes great pride in his appearance and taste in looks. (Does he care what others think? No, not most; but you or the rest of his pack/pride? Yes, he cares what y'all think, and he'd only take criticism from y'all)...

• Would he return any of these affections? Yes. 11/10. You feel down or upset or scared? He's tryi g to comfort you by reminding you how strong you are, how ferocious in battle, that their words don't matter; and if they hurt you or abused you, they won't be around to do it again... You feel nervous about your appearance? He will tell you deadpan that yes, you appear fine, you look nice, your piercing isn't weird, now let's go annoy Logan. You seem to be sick or out of sorts or worried? From everything he's remembered and memorized about you and what you like, he's getting you a gift. Something good for dinner, check. Something shiny, check. Maybe some new movie to watch, check. A bit of a torture session done to an enemy of yours, check. He doesn't mention that last part unless he's certain you won't freak out... initially, at least... You need hugs or you're too cold and in the snow or you aren't able to walk back and are wounded? He's embracing you close and tight and possessively; he's bundling you under his coat with him and wrapping it tight around the both of you; you're being picked up and held close and not let down until you're somewhere safe and being checked over...

(This was fun! Thank you, @hermesserpent-stuff !)

[jennagrinsoverml]

⛽️👶🏻🥰🍭✏️

⛽️ Name a fic that you got energy from after reading.

I’m not entirely sure what this means, tbh. Maybe a funny fic like œuf ouch owie since I tend to get energy from laughing?

👶🏻 First fic you remember reading?

Answered here.

🥰 Your comfort fics that you can re-read several times and still love them?

Oh gosh. So many. I download all of my favourite fics as epub files onto my ipad and, especially when I'm tired and don't have the energy for something new, I'll just go through and read the same fics over and over and over again.

By no means an exhaustive list, but all of the fics off my Must Reads rec list, A Secret Worth Keeping, The Prescription and Super Fan by @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights, Operation: Bisou and most of @ghostlyhamburger's smutty one-shots, i think it’s time i told you (i’m a fan of your universe), tell me what you want so we can do just what you like and the Hey there, hot stuff~ series by @clairelutra, Bad Week by @ominousunflower, Banter series, Stars series, A Cat of Their Own, Bet, Jealousy, Enthusiasm and The Open Line by @sariahsue, A Nice Matching Set by @bridgetinerabbit, The Pole Kit and Kaboodle by @chatonne-rousse,  rumour has it by @settledownsummer, twists and turns and your lips are meant to be kissed by @zimtlein, (Emergency) Boyfriend by @nomolosk, Maintaining a Professional Distance and Off the Mark by @buggachat, pretty lady, look at how he's smiling, our hands would not be taught to hold another's (literally just reread this Thursday night for the umptieth time) and Me, My Best Friend, and Her Cat by @ladyofthenoodle, and of course after reading that last one I have to read the sequel, A Miraculous Reveal: Locked in a Closet by you (and of course all your reveals but I linked those already in the Must Reads post) and The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir.

Also my own stuff because it's all written exactly to my tastes lol

Favorite fic trope?

M U T U A L P I N I N G ! ! !

I go absolutely wild for two people being absolutely stupid in love with each other and thinking their feelings are unrequited and pining away. Far and away my favourite trope! (Honourable mentions go to fake dating and identity reveals.)

✏️ Ever gotten inspired to write your own fic after reading someone elses?

Experimental Kisses by @komorebirei. Basically Ladybug agrees to kiss Chat because it's not fair that he doesn't remember his first kiss. She sets some ground rules including that it doesn't change anything or mean anything. Except that after she experiences "what it feels like to be kissed by someone who loves you with all of their being" well....it affects her.

There's some fantastic flirting and banter, and then Ladybug leaves and the fic ends. And it's wonderful! But I'm obsessed with what happens next.

In my head, that kiss keeps her up at night for weeks until she finally caves and asks for more. I just love her not being able to stop thinking about it. And it driving her absolutely crazy. Because she wants to kiss him again.

But she can't, obviously. Of COURSE she's not going to kiss Chat again. But she wants to.

It's all she can think about. She's distracted in class, distracted out with her friends (she was so distracted she even missed Adrien greeting her once! Alya thought she was sick)

But the worst is when there's an akuma attack or they have patrol because Chat is RIGHT THERE and she knows how easy it would be to kiss him again and she wonders if it would be as good as she remembers or if she's built it up to something bigger than it was in her mind

And then one night she lets something slip, maybe asks Chat if he's kissed a lot of girls before or something like that. And he catches on right away: "you're still thinking about it!" Excited. Hopeful.

And she tells him to shut up but her cheeks are on fire.

And then he's like "we could kiss again, you know. If you want."

And she should say no, right? This is a terrible idea. She never should have said yes the first time.

But.... she can't stop thinking about it. Maybe one more kiss will help her finally put this out of her head.

She agrees.

And he kisses her again, gently but insistently like before, but this time SHE KISSES HIM BACK.

And it's EVEN BETTER.

And then I'm imagining like weeks of ladynoir makeouts...and that was as far as I got!

I've also got a partially written fic playing in @buggachat's Bakery Enemies AU, but giving Adrien's POV.

(For the Fic Readers Ask Game)

[multifandomfix]

Negatus Fluff Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s pretty affectionate. He’s never had someone who loves him like you do and he wants to make sure he keeps you around, so he’ll shower you in affection.

B = Babe (What would they use as pet names? Do they use them a lot?)

He uses Dear a lot, but also things like Pumpkin and Sugar Plum, but that’s usually for when you’re alone.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He does like cuddles. It really helps calm him in both body and mind. He adores spooning, no matter who is big or little.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? What would they think about living together?)

He does want to settle down, especially when he knows you’re the one for him. And he lets you live with him pretty early on. He loves having you close.

E = Emotion (How are they with showing emotion in public versus private?)

He’s much more open in private with you than in public. He’s got a tough villain reputation to maintain after all.

F = Flirt (How do they flirt? Are they smooth or awkward?)

He flirts like crazy and it’s not always that smooth. Like 9 times out of 10 it’s charmingly awkward, and that 1 out of 10 left is sweep you off your feet good.

G = Gifts (Are they a gift giver? What kind of gifts do they give?)

Negatus is a notoriously bad gift giver, but he does try. It’s the thought that counts with him, and you love him for it even though he has gotten you some truly strange things.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He’s not overly fond of hugs, but he doesn’t dislike them. His hugs do tend to be a bit awkward but he gets better a them over time.

I = I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He probably says it faster than he planned on. He’ll blurt it out at the most random time and completely disarm you and leave himself flustered.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He gets jealous far more than he needs to. He gets jealous over silly things, and he gets all grumpy until you calm him down.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are surprisingly sweet. He does like to kiss your lips most, and loves when you take his helmet off to give him forehead kisses.

L = Little ones (How are they around children? Would they want some of their own?)

He’s actually pretty decent with children, at least for short periods of time. Absolutely awful with babies though. But he secretly does want at least one of his own to raise with you.

M = Meet (How did they meet you?)

You ran into him not long after you first came through the portal to Yonderland. Having fled your normal life you decided to make Yonderland your new permanent home and he became sort of your tour guide.

N = Nurture (Are they good at taking care of you if you’re hurt/sick?)

Not at first. He’s kind of a mess at taking care of you, too concerned that you’re going to die, even if it’s not nearly that bad. He has his minions take care of you though and yells at them if they’re not doing a good enough job.

O = Out (What’s a typical date night with them like?)

Negatus likes taking you out and showing you the lesser known places in Yonderland. You get to see the beautiful land and spend some real quality time with him.

P = Propose (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’d be hesitant about a real commitment at first, but when he realized you were the real thing he’d want to lock you down as soon as possible.

Q = Quirk (What small habit/feature/quirk do they have that you find especially endearing?)

His obsession with his helmet is what you find most endearing. He loves the thing and it suits him well, so you help him clean and polish it from time to time.

R = Routine (What does a typical day together look like? Routines, schedules, habits?)

You often wake before him and make breakfast for the two of you. You do get ready to go to bed together once you’ve moved in with each other and it’s something you’ve grown comfortable with.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

He’s very protective. He doesn’t like anyone getting to close, fearing they’ll lay a hand on you. He’s ready to fight whoever seeks to harm you, or at least send in his minions to do it.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

At first, he probably wouldn’t give too much thought to that sort of thing, but as time went on he’d almost start trying too hard just because he wouldn’t want to lose you.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a partner?)

He always keeps you on your toes. You never know what to expect day to day with him. Sometimes it’s lazing about and other days you’re constantly on the run.

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like when they do open up?)

It takes him a while to open up about the big stuff. The little stuff is no problem, but it’d take him a while to let you in on the bigger things.

W = Wardrobe (What would they wear to impress you?)

He finds his usual outfit to be both intimidating and impressive and he really wouldn’t go out of his way to change his attire just to win you over.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He giggles a lot. It’s adorable and you frequently try to make him laugh just to hear it.

Y = You (What are some things they would like in a partner?)

He like someone who supported him no matter what and went along with whatever crazy scheme he concocted next.

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Negatus can be a fairly fitful sleeper. He’s often kept awake by his evil plottings and remembering his failures.

For anon

Negatus: @casserole-from-dads-asserole

[naancypants]

I wanna talk about Jake Rogers for a sec. I truly think he’s one of the most underappreciated clue-leavers in the entire series, if not one of the most underappreciated characters as a whole. This analysis focuses on the Remastered version of his character, as they expanded his role quite a bit and went much more in-depth with it. (I also want to put a disclaimer than I’m not trying to copy @joons with her brilliant Jake post; I actually started writing this a g e s ago before I realized she had already made a post similar. But the more Jake love, the better, amiright🤷‍♀️)

So Jake was clearly an asshole, but he was well aware of it, you know? He was also astronomically intelligent when & where he wanted to be. Think about the cleverness it required for him to gain the dirt he had on his classmates in the first place - Hal’s plagiarism, Connie’s secret identity, etc. He was doing EXTREMELY shady and underhanded things, such as setting up video cameras inside their lockers and most probably hacking into the school’s security cameras (considering the overhead shot of Hal that he includes on the video tape) in order to confirm what suspicions he already had about them. Jake would have had to meticulously study their behavior, figure out their locker combos, know when & how to confront them, in addition to just being naturally observant and skilled at piecing things together (like his correct deduction that Hulk was using steroids). While Jake was absolutely a bully, his approach was much more methodical than your average high schooler. Aside from the obvious, what was his deeper motivation for ruining these teenagers’ lives? Why did he go to all that trouble to take them down, especially in such a cruel and sinister way...? Because Jake Rogers couldn’t stand a hypocrite. Most high school bullies you see in the media (though perhaps not always in real life) are portrayed as jocks and uber popular kids, but every character in the game will tell Nancy at least once that nobody in school liked Jake - and that’s because Jake had no interest in putting up false pretenses. As I mentioned before, Jake KNEW that he wasn’t a good person. He owned up to it. The kids he was specifically targeting with blackmail - Connie, Hal, Hulk, and Daryl - each maintained a squeaky-clean reputation, yet harbored dark secrets of their own. This kind of hypocrisy, the kind that pretends to be better than they really are, disgusted Jake. He wanted to show everyone that these people, in his mind at least, were just as bad as he was. The entire last semester of his life was spent furiously working to prove that point.

But this boy knew he was playing with fire. He was not only incredibly cunning, but incredibly smart, too - he knew that he may not make it out of all this alive. So in a last-ditch effort to ensure that his twisted justice would be served, even if someone got to him first, this 17-YEAR-OLD KID started crafting a series of detailed puzzles and subtly scattered them across both the school AND the diner. That box with the elements & his video tape inside it served as his failsafe, so that if his suspicion came true and he did wind up dead (which is just another thing he was right about), there was still a chance that someone would manage to find it and bring the other students’ misdeeds to light. It’s super twisted and obsessive, but I think this is an interesting angle on his character that explains why he created this tell-all video in the first place.

Of course, Jake was also a selfish prick who wanted his classmates to do his bidding. That was his other motivation for blackmail 🤷‍♀️ the truth is, Jake Rogers liked to watch people squirm. He liked to feel as though he had power over them, and to watch their reactions as he applied pressure. It’s sick, but it was effective in getting him what he wanted right up until the day he was killed.

Jake Rogers was a terrible human being, but he was a bloody brilliant one.

[malleus-maledicarum]

FehuFehu (F: Domestic cattle, wealth.) Possessions won or earned, earned income, luck. Abundance, financial strength in the present or near future. Sign of hope and plenty, success and happiness. Social success. Energy, foresight, fertility, creation/destruction (becoming). Fehu Reversed or Merkstave: Loss of personal property, esteem, or something that you put in effort to keep. It indicates some sort of failure. Greed, burnout, atrophy, discord. Cowardice, stupidity, dullness, poverty, slavery, bondage.

UruzUruz: (U: Auroch, a wild ox.) Physical strength and speed, untamed potential. A time of great energy and health. Freedom, energy, action, courage, strength, tenacity, understanding, wisdom. Sudden or unexpected changes (usually for the better). Sexual desire, masculine potency. The shaping of power and pattern, formulation of the self. Uruz Reversed or Merkstave: Weakness, obsession, misdirected force, domination by others. Sickness, inconsistency, ignorance. Lust, brutality, rashness, callousness, violence.

ThurisazThurisaz: (TH: Thorn or a Giant.) Reactive force, directed force of destruction and defense, conflict. Instinctual will, vital eroticism, regenerative catalyst. A tendency toward change. Catharsis, purging, cleansing fire. Male sexuality, fertilization. (Thorr, the Thunder god, was of Giant stock.)Thurisaz Reversed or Merkstave: Danger, defenselessness, compulsion, betrayal, dullness. Evil, malice, hatred, torment, spite, lies. A bad man or woman. Rape?

AnsuzAnsuz: (A: The As, ancestral god, i.e. Odin.) A revealing message or insight, communication. Signals, inspiration, enthusiasm, speech, true vision, power of words and naming. Blessings, the taking of advice. Good health, harmony, truth, wisdom. Ansuz Reversed or Merkstave: Misunderstanding, delusion, manipulation by others, boredom. Vanity and grandiloquence. (Odin is a mighty, but duplicitous god. He always has his own agenda.)

RaidhoRaidho: (R: Wagon or chariot.) Travel, both in physical terms and those of lifestyle direction. A journey, vacation, relocation, evolution, change of place or setting. Seeing a larger perspective. Seeing the right move for you to make and deciding upon it. Personal rhythm, world rhythm, dance of life. Raidho Reversed or Merkstave: Crisis, rigidity, stasis, injustice, irrationality. Disruption, dislocation, demotion, delusion, possibly a death.

KenazKenaz: (K: Beacon or torch.) Vision, revelation, knowledge, creativity, inspiration, technical ability. Vital fire of life, harnessed power, fire of transformation and regeneration. Power to create your own reality, the power of light. Open to new strength, energy, and power now. Passion, sexual love. Kenaz Reversed or Merkstave: Disease, breakup, instability, lack of creativity. Nakedness, exposure, loss of illusion and false hope.

GeboGebo: (G: Gift.) Gifts, both in the sense of sacrifice and of generosity, indicating balance. All matters in relation to exchanges, including contracts, personal relationships and partnerships. Gebo Merkstave (Gebo cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Greed, loneliness, dependence, over-sacrifice. Obligation, toll, privation, bribery.

WunjoWunjo: (W or V: Joy.) Joy, comfort, pleasure. Fellowship, harmony, prosperity. Ecstasy, glory, spiritual reward, but also the possibility of going "over the top". If restrained, the meaning is general success and recognition of worth. Wunjo Reversed or Merkstave: Stultification, sorrow, strife, alienation. Delirium, intoxication, possession by higher forces, impractical enthusiasm. Raging frenzy, berzerker.

Heimdall's Aett

HagalazHagalaz: (H: Hail.) Wrath of nature, destructive, uncontrolled forces, especially the weather, or within the unconscious. Tempering, testing, trial. Controlled crisis, leading to completion, inner harmony. Hagalaz Merkstave (Hagalaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Natural disaster, catastrophe. Stagnation, loss of power. Pain, loss, suffering, hardship, sickness, crisis.

NauthizNauthiz: (N: Need.) Delays, restriction. Resistance leading to strength, innovation, need-fire (self-reliance). Distress, confusion, conflict, and the power of will to overcome them. Endurance, survival, determination. A time to exercise patience. Recognition of one's fate. Major self-initiated change. Face your fears. Nauthiz Reversed or Merkstave: Constraint of freedom, distress, toil, drudgery, laxity. Necessity, extremity, want, deprivation, starvation, need, poverty, emotional hunger.

IsaIsa: (I: Ice.) A challenge or frustration. Psychological blocks to thought or activity, including grievances. Standstill, or a time to turn inward and wait for what is to come, or to seek clarity. This rune reinforces runes around it. Isa Merkstave (Isa cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Ego-mania, dullness, blindness, dissipation. Treachery, illusion, deceit, betrayal, guile, stealth, ambush, plots.

JeraJera: (J or Y: A year, a good harvest.) The results of earlier efforts are realized. A time of peace and happiness, fruitful season. It can break through stagnancy. Hopes and expectations of peace and prosperity. The promise of success earned. Life cycle, cyclical pattern of the universe. Everything changes, in its own time. Jera Merkstave (Jera cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Sudden setback, reversals. A major change, repetition, bad timing, poverty, conflict.

EihwazEihwaz: (EI: Yew tree.) Strength, reliability, dependability, trustworthiness. Enlightenment, endurance. Defense, protection. The driving force to acquire, providing motivation and a sense of purpose. Indicates that you have set your sights on a reasonable target and can achieve your goals. An honest man who can be relied upon. Eihwaz Reversed or Merkstave: Confusion, destruction, dissatisfaction, weakness.

PerthroPerthro: (P: Lot cup, vagina.) Uncertain meaning, a secret matter, a mystery, hidden things and occult abilities. Initiation, knowledge of one's destiny, knowledge of future matters, determining the future or your path. Pertaining to things feminine, feminine mysteries including female fertility, and vagina. Good lot, fellowship and joy. Evolutionary change. Perthro Reversed or Merkstave: Addiction, stagnation, loneliness, malaise.

AlgizAlgiz: (Z or -R: Elk, protection.) Protection, a shield. The protective urge to shelter oneself or others. Defense, warding off of evil, shield, guardian. Connection with the gods, awakening, higher life. It can be used to channel energies appropriately. Follow your instincts. Keep hold of success or maintain a position won or earned. Algiz Reversed: or Merkstave: Hidden danger, consumption by divine forces, loss of divine link. Taboo, warning, turning away, that which repels.

Sowilo Sowilo: (S: The sun.) Success, goals achieved, honor. The life-force, health. A time when power will be available to you for positive changes in your life, victory, health, and success. Contact between the higher self and the unconscious. Wholeness, power, elemental force, sword of flame, cleansing fire. Sowilo Merkstave (Sowilo cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): False goals, bad counsel, false success, gullibility, loss of goals. Destruction, retribution, justice, casting down of vanity. Wrath of god.

Tyr's Aett

TiwazTiwaz: (T: Tyr, the sky god.) Honor, justice, leadership and authority. Analysis, rationality. Knowing where one's true strengths lie. Willingness to self-sacrifice. Victory and success in any competition or in legal matters. Tiwaz Reversed or Merkstave: One's energy and creative flow are blocked. Mental paralysis, over-analysis, over-sacrifice, injustice, imbalance. Strife, war, conflict, failure in competition. Dwindling passion, difficulties in communication, and possibly separation.

BerkanoBerkano: (B: Berchta, the birch-goddess.) Birth, general fertility, both mental and physical and personal growth, liberation. Regenerative power and light of spring, renewal, promise of new beginnings, new growth. Arousal of desire. A love affair or new birth. The prospering of an enterprise or venture. Berkano Reversed or Merkstave: Family problems and or domestic troubles. Anxiety about someone close to you. Carelessness, abandon, loss of control. Blurring of consciousness, deceit, sterility, stagnation.

EhwazEhwaz: (E: Horse, two horses.) Transportation. May represent a horse, car, plane, boat or other vehicle. Movement and change for the better. Gradual development and steady progress are indicated. Harmony, teamwork, trust, loyalty. An ideal marriage or partnership. Confirmation beyond doubt the meanings of the runes around it. Ehwaz Reversed or Merkstave: This is not really a negative rune. A change is perhaps craved. Feeling restless or confined in a situation. Reckless haste, disharmony, mistrust, betrayal.

MannazMannaz: (M: Man, mankind.) The Self; the individual or the human race. Your attitude toward others and their attitudes towards you. Friends and enemies, social order. Intelligence, forethought, create, skill, ability. Divine structure, intelligence, awareness. Expect to receive some sort of aid or cooperation now. Mannaz Reversed or Merkstave: Depression, mortality, blindness, self-delusion. Cunning, slyness, manipulation, craftiness, calculation. Expect no help now.

LaguzLaguz: (L: Water, or a leek.) Flow, water, sea, a fertility source, the healing power of renewal. Life energy and organic growth. Imagination and psychic matters. Dreams, fantasies, mysteries, the unknown, the hidden, the deep, the underworld. Success in travel or acquisition, but with the possibility of loss. Laguz Reversed or Merkstave: An indication of a period of confusion in your life. You may be making wrong decisions and poor judgements. Lack of creativity and feelings of being in a rut. Fear, circular motion, avoidance, withering. Madness, obsession, despair, perversity, sickness, suicide.

IngwazIngwaz: (NG: Ing, the earth god.) Male fertility, gestation, internal growth. Common virtues, common sense, simple strengths, family love, caring, human warmth, the home. Rest stage, a time of relief, of no anxiety. A time when all loose strings are tied and you are free to move in a new direction. Listen to yourself. Ingwaz Merkstave (Ingwaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Impotence, movement without change. Production, toil, labor, work.

DagazDagaz: (D: Day or dawn.) Breakthrough, awakening, awareness. Daylight clarity as opposed to nighttime uncertainty. A time to plan or embark upon an enterprise. The power of change directed by your own will, transformation. Hope/happiness, the ideal. Security and certainty. Growth and release. Balance point, the place where opposites meet. Dagaz Merkstave (Dagaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): A completion, ending, limit, coming full circle. Blindness, hopelessness.

OthalaOthala: (O: Ancestral property.) Inherited property or possessions, a house, a home. What is truly important to one. Group order, group prosperity. Land of birth, spiritual heritage, experience and fundamental values. Aid in spiritual and physical journeys. Source of safety, increase and abundance. Othala Reversed or Merkstave: Lack of customary order, totalitarianism, slavery, poverty, homelessness. Bad karma, prejudice, clannishness, provincialism. What a man is bound to.

Blank Rune: There is no historical support for a "Blank Rune" in runic divination. It was invented in the 1980's. It should not be used in a rune casting. If you bought a rune set with a blank piece, save it in case you lose another rune piece, but don't use it in rune casting.

[barbicha-imaginaria]

The cycle of Villanelle: an essay

In this essay, I will delve into Villanelle’s mental state and study the cyclical patterns of behavior that she seems to exhibit in relation to the emotional attachments she forms. All information taken from the show will focus on Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s version of Killing Eve (the first season), to maintain coherence. I will also consider events in Villanelle’s past that are uncovered in later seasons, as it has been stated several times that PWB already had Villanelle’s backstory defined and so it is likely that she contributed her vision to the events of, for example, S03E05.

“I know you’re a psychopath” - definition of psychopathy

First of all, a disclaimer: mental disorders are not neatly compartmentalized things, where someone is diagnosed when they fit every single criterium. These disorders manifest differently in each person, and often combine (for example, there are several disorders that increase the likelihood of developing anxiety) to form a set of symptoms that will resemble the “ideal” profile of a disorder but usually deviate in one way or another. This is why a diagnosis typically occurs when at least a certain number of the total symptoms is present, rather than only when they all occur. This is not a deviation from how the disorder manifests, but rather one of the many ways in which it can manifest.

This is particularly evident in the case of personality disorders, characterized by enduring maladaptive patterns of behavior, cognition, and inner experience, exhibited across many contexts and deviating from those accepted by the individual's culture. You will notice that there is a large internal component to this, a necessary internal logic, coherent to the individual but not consistent with social norms, which will of course be very difficult to define objectively by an external observer.

Psychopathy, which would be such a personality disorder, is not an actual diagnosis sanctioned by any psychiatric or psychological organization. In the DSM, we have its counterpart in antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), whose criteria for diagnosis focus more on behaviors than personality traits, as the former are easier to identify objectively. ASPD is characterized by a long-term pattern of disregard for, or violation of, the rights of others, a low moral sense or conscience, as well as a history of crime, legal problems, or impulsive and aggressive behavior. It seems pretty clear that Villanelle would perfectly fit this profile.

As psychopathy isn’t an actual diagnosis, we find that its definition is subjective and in fact, there are several different tests, checklists and definitions for it. One particularly interesting definition in this case is the separation of primary and secondary psychopaths. Taken directly from Wikipedia, and based on the paper [Vaughn, M. G., Edens, J. F., Howard, M. O., & Smith, S. T. (2009). An Investigation of Primary and Secondary Psychopathy in a Statewide Sample of Incarcerated Youth. Youth Violence and Juvenile Justice, 7(3), 172–188]

The subtype known as "primary" psychopathy refers to individuals who are completely rational, lack anxiety and have high levels of interpersonal charm. Whilst these behaviours appear incredibly adaptive, primary psychopaths are also prone to dysfunctional and pathological traits such as an inability to learn from past mistakes and a lack of responsibility

"Secondary" psychopaths are individuals not dissimilar to primary psychopaths in the sense that they still share many of the same characteristics and traits. However, unlike the primary psychopath, the secondary psychopath is more likely to suffer from intense emotional arousal and psychological issues. As well as this, research conducted on adult psychopaths has suggested that secondary psychopaths are more prone participate in drug abuse, suicide and interpersonal aggression. Overall, what differentiates secondary psychopaths from primary psychopaths is their destructive behaviour as well an increased reactivity and impulsivity and an inability to control their emotions effectively.

Recalling that Villanelle is a fictional character and we can assume a certain leeway to her characterization in the name of entertainment, as well as the vague nature of all psychopathy diagnoses that has been established, we can arrive at a tentative description: Villanelle is mainly a primary psychopath, with diminished emotional reactions and a comfortable, stable personality, but a secondary psychopath pattern of behavior can be triggered by specific conditions. These triggers are studied in the next section.

“I know something happened to you” - timeline of Oksana / Villanelle

Based on the information given to us over the course of the show (under the conditions mentioned in the introduction above), we can establish a timeline for Oksana’s (and later, Villanelle’s) life.

1) Early childhood

Spent with parents and brother. Clearly already exhibited traits of psychopathy, as evidenced several times in S03E05. 

Tatiana (mother): “The orphanage phone me and say… you burn place down.”

Oksana: “Why didn’t you leave [Pyotr at the orphanage]? All he did was cry.”

Pyotr (brother): “Look, Oksana. You punching me in face.” 

Showed no affection for her mother or brother, but seemed attached to her father.

P: “What was he like?” O: “Funny. Strong. Taught me how to fight. He was much better.” P: “Than what?” O: “She was mean.” P: “You were mean.” O: “You were annoying.”

Villanelle believes she had a good relationship with her father, but her mother saw it differently.

T: “You took everything from me. You took him. You could control him. He would do anything for you because you had a darkness! (...) He thought you would do something to us.” 

O: “You are the darkness. You have always been the darkness. He wasn't scared of me. He was sick of you.” 

Seems to have been left in an orphanage by her mother after her father left the family in some way. Her brother believes that he died, but it is never mentioned how. In S01E07, Anna mentions that “Her mother was dead. Her father was a drunk”, which suggests he never died but rather became an alcoholic and left the family, but in S02E08, Villanelle says that her family "are all dead". In the orphanage, she was later told the rest of her family died. 

2) Adolescence

Spent the next years getting into trouble with the authorities. Arrest sheet (seen in S01E05) shows that she was in a juvenile delinquents centre, 2001-2006 (ages 8-13). After this, she entered the school where Anna taught. Their history is revealed mainly in S01E07 and S01E08

Anna: “We were told a new student was coming. History of violence. Antisocial behavior. (...) She arrived at the school and… everyone stepped back. Everyone. So I stepped forward. Extra time. Extra lessons. Extra love.”

Oksana exhibited typical manipulative behavior in getting more and more attention from Anna, moving on to demanding time alone with her and becoming jealous of her husband, who was seen as a rival for Anna’s affection. 

Eve: “This... isn't "a few" letters, Anna. This is…” Anna: “She had a... fixation.”

A: “Well, then she wanted more lessons after school. She was good at making you feel bad, so she was here a lot. And it was clear that she didn't like Max, but I thought it was because she didn't trust men.”

A: “No, but she sent me gifts. Clothes, perfume. She must have stolen them. Expensive French designers.”

Anna presents this as one-sided fixation in her conversation with Eve in S01E07.

A: “He said he was aware of my relationship with Oksana - she had been spinning lies again.”

E: “Did you ever have sex with Oksana?” A: “No!”

However, in her confrontation with Villanelle in S01E08 it becomes clear that the feelings were reciprocated in some way.

Villanelle: “The best sex we ever had was on that chair.”

Irina: “Did you two use to go out?” V&A: “She seduced me.”

Eventually, Oksana removed the obstacle in their relationship, Anna’s husband, by castrating and killing him. She expected this to be taken well, but it naturally led Anna to turn on her and she was arrested.

Anna: “There were balloons everywhere and a huge cake, and she was jumping around and... then she showed me what she had done. And she said it like it was a good thing. I went mad. I told her she was evil and crazy and... and then she was picked up by the police... and arrested.”

3) Rebirth as Villanelle

After 3 years in jail, Oksana was recruited by Konstantin to work for the Twelve (revealed by Nadia in S01E06). The organization faked her death and she moved to Paris to work as the assassin Villanelle. Konstantin became her handler, the only person with whom she had a continued relationship. This seems to have created a sort of attachment that differs from the usual fixation by being much less intense, becoming rather the psychopath’s version of a friendship.

In the course of her work, Villanelle met Eve. At first, her obsession with her seems caused by transference: her hair, very similar to Anna’s, caused the woman to fixate, as seen in S01E02.

Jerome: “So, Villanelle... [in Russian] Do you still have dreams about Anna?” Villanelle: (distressed) “That’s not Anna.”

As Eve is revealed to be in charge of the task force devoted to finding her, Villanelle became more interested, and over the course of Season 1, Eve’s actions further fueled her fixation. Eve clearly admired her, wanted to become closer to her and was able to surprise and challenge her. This both fed her ego and maintained her interest.

The season comes to a close with their confrontation in Villanelle’s Paris apartment. When Villanelle was certain that she had drawn in Eve, as she did with previous fixations, she was instead stabbed in the stomach. In a rage, she fired her gun at Eve then ran away.

“I think about you too” - Villanelle and emotional attachment

Circling back to the first section, where we established that there are certain triggers that lead Villanelle to a more emotional and unstable psychopathic profile, the timeline of the previous section seems to establish quite clearly that these triggers are the rare emotional attachments she forms: to her father, to Anna and then to Eve. These attachments take the form of a deep and obsessive fixation, which is still marked by lack of remorse or empathy, but which causes her to feel emotions deeply.

Either because the emotions are indeed felt to an extreme, or because she is simply not experienced with emotions and thus is easily overwhelmed, anything she feels due to these attachments is felt too intensely too ignore or process healthily, and in this way, she comes closer to the behavior of an extreme narcissist, in that she considers herself and her feelings as the most important thing at all times. This can also lead to a feeling of insecurity in the relationship, or like she isn't getting what she deserves, a fair treatment. Because she still lacks empathy and remorse, she will lack intrinsic motivation to make her attachment happy, and will only try to do so when not distracted by her own wants and desires in the relationship. She will also usually act from her own perspective, rather than try to think of what the other would want. 

Actions which a neurotypical individual clearly sees as wrong and to be avoidable, on one level because it would hurt their partner, and on another because it is simply not ethical, seem perfectly fine to her if motivated by her own internal logic. For example, hurting the members of the family that she doesn’t care about or forcing them away so that they won’t compete for her father’s attention, stealing expensive clothing to offer it as a gift, killing Anna’s husband or Eve’s partner Bill. Not only is she not bothered by guilt or remorse over it, she most likely sees nothing wrong with it in the first place: if she is as important to her attachments as they are to her, they won’t have a problem with her actions, as they only serve to deepen their bond. If her attachments react negatively, due to concern for other people, she will be hurt and betrayed, and feel that her deep feelings are not returned.

In this way, Villanelle is indeed capable of feelings, and of being hurt and even crying, but she will most likely never make a healthy partner, and will have no problem engaging in toxic and manipulative behaviors if they are in line with her goals. 

“I really liked you” - the cycle of Villanelle

Now looking back on her past relationships with her father and Anna, we find a common evolution in all of them: Villanelle develops an interest, which is returned. Her obsessive attachment grows, which puts a strain on the relationship. She is possessive, needs all her gestures of affection to be appreciated and returned. At some point she crosses a line which pushes the other away, and on both cases this leads to her being forcefully separated from them. 

This creates in her mind a narrative that the people she loves disappoint or betray her, so that every time she opens her heart, it leads to heartbreak. Add to that the fact that she gets no closure (or, more likely, revenge) and you get someone who is very volatile around love, liable to explode at any rejection, but also insecure from past experiences and thus more likely to see something as rejection.

Part of Oksana's rebirth as Villanelle, which marked her escape from her troubled past and transition to a life where she is in control and wants for nothing, was to bury the part of herself that “fell in love”. Oksana was fragile and Villanelle is not, and this is one of the ways in which Villanelle wants to manifest that. In the terms we use in this essay, she wants to fully become a primary psychopath, finding refuge in the stability of that unemotional mindspace. 

Unfortunately for Villanelle, she does not actually have control over which facet of her psychopathy manifests. Thus, when her attachment to Anna (never resolved, as mentioned above) transfers to Eve and is then reinforced through several interactions and encounters, Villanelle doesn't really seem capable of or interested in resisting. Rather, due to Eve's particularly reckless behavior, she is more encouraged than ever before, and will easily be given to believe that Eve will be "different" - a belief that the audience is more and more likely to share as the season progresses and especially towards the end of S01E08.

The end of Season 1 completes the cycle of Villanelle's emotional connections by having Eve do the same as her past attachments: betray her. As they come to a moment of intimacy, where Villanelle has let her guard down, Eve stabs her. The shock of the rejection is compounded with past experience and trauma to create an instant and intense feeling of betrayal that does not allow for any form of reasoning or further processing. Thus, it makes perfect sense that Villanelle would then revolt against her, try to shoot her, and finally run away, regardless of the fact that Eve immediately regrets her actions and tries to help her. 

“I want to kill her” - the aftermath

The case of Eve has one crucial difference from those of Villanelle’s father and of Anna. As mentioned in the previous section, in both cases, Villanelle’s attachment was forcefully ended and she was immediately removed from the situation. She has never been able to avenge herself of the wrongdoing she suffered, or come to terms with the situation in any way. She claims to move on, and later on seems perfectly capable of killing Anna, saying that she no longer loves her, but it is more likely that she has simply internalized both rejections rather than processed them.

In this case, breaking the pattern, she has not been taken from Eve and Eve has not been taken from her. She can get her closure as soon as she is recovered. This would be a way to step away from her cycle of emotional attachment and possibly set free some hangup in Villanelle's mind that has lingered since her childhood, and so it is very probable that Villanelle herself would latch on to the idea. In addition to the desire for revenge naturally originating from Eve’s betrayal, which would most likely be enough to make her fixate on returning to Eve, there would also be the desire for recovery, fueled by the belief that she can become a better version of herself (more Villanelle-like, less Oksana-like) by going through the ritual of closure, not only from Eve, but from all past rejections.

This leads us to the final conclusion of this essay. At the end of Season 1, we are at the final and lowest point of Villanelle’s cycle, and through analysis of the character of Villanelle, find a strong prediction for how she would behave in the aftermath: to seek revenge as soon as possible, almost as a fixation, due to past trauma on the subject. The way in which this revenge is sought would define Villanelle’s trajectory for the rest of her life, determining in one way or another the end to the pattern of behavior and experiences that has marked her first 25 years.

In this way, the narrative followed in Season 2 becomes unsatisfying in two ways: its beginning and its end. 

The beginning: Villanelle does not desire revenge, but instead believes that Eve hurt her because she loves her. This deviates from a pattern of 25 years for no evident reason, and thus seems to hinge on a lack of internal consistency of the character of Villanelle. However, we have established that even someone with a personality disorder will show this consistency, although in a way that isn’t compatible with the outside world. Psychopaths are not erratic, and would not change their minds on something as fundamental to their development, and a belief so emotionally charged, unless they were significantly challenged.

The end: As the season progresses, Eve and Villanelle are pulled tighter and tighter together, until the explosive finale, when Villanelle opens up in a moment of vulnerability and Eve rejects her. Then, she does seek revenge as soon as possible, by shooting Eve. You will notice that, thematically, this is the exact same progression as the end of Season 1. Inevitably, the viewer is left with the feeling that the showrunner simply ran the plot line of Season 2 through a loop to finish the season at the same point as it started, in order to avoid having to deal with the fallout of such a confrontation.

[vavuska]

AUGUST 9, 2020

Body positivity and false myths about health.

Introduction

Today, the revered ideal body consists of a tall, slender physique known as the thin-ideal. This idealized image that has been constructed by the media via magazines, movies and advertising campaigns is having adverse effects on the lives of many women, such that more than half of the women are troubled by certain aspects of their appearance and are not accepting of their bodies as a whole. The preoccupation or obsession with their physical appearance has trapped Western women into subscribing to unhealthy narratives such as "I must be thin to be accepted and loved", "A thin body will make me happy", "Dieting will help me lose weight" or "Thinness equals beauty". These nagging voices often overrun women's lives and are linked to various psychological disturbances such as depression, eating disorders, anxieties, countless addictions, BDD, as well as low self-esteem (Rieves & Cash, 1996), relationship difficulties, and sexual dysfunctions (Dworkin & Kerr, 1987).

In addition to noting that people with perceived obesity (again, not medically diagnosed, just perceived) will experience microaggression, bullying, discrimination in housing, employment, education, and healthcare, Phelan notes that their interactions with healthcare professionals is directly affected by size bias.

In these studies by the Mayo Clinic, primary care physicians reported spending less time with obese patients, less communication, and open belief in stereotypes: this patient is lazy, undisciplined, and less likely to adhere to medical advice.

These negative interactions statistically raise a patient’s chances to: delay cancer screenings and routine care, avoid routine check ups, and are more likely to have unreported diagnostic errors.

This isn’t healthy. This isn’t saving or changing any lives. This is having the opposite effect, and it is happening precisely in the places where we are suppose to be receiving “help.”

What is body positivity?

Body Positivity is a social movement rooted in the belief that all human beings should have a positive body image, in doing so it challenges the ways in which society presents and views the physical body. The movement advocates the acceptance of all bodies no matter the form, size, or appearance.

I personally like the 4 Principles of Body Positivity conceptualized by Body Positivity Activist:

ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT IS: Our bodies as is (healthy, sick, skinny, fat, missing a leg, cancer survivors, and black, white, purple, blue and everything else,) deserve respect, visibility, acceptance and have intrinsic value.

REJECTION OF “BEAUTY” STANDARDS: Body-shaming of all types has been shown to yield detrimental long-term psychological effects such as negative body image, depression, anxiety, and a multitude of eating disorders. It serves no benefits, so we reject it entirely.

ACCEPTANCE OF CHANGE: Changes to our bodies—sickness, ailments, aging, pregnancy, surgery, accidents/trauma, putting on weight, losing weight, ALL of it—should be accepted, and should not diminish the value, respect, visibility of our bodies.

TOTAL INCLUSIVITY: Body positivity is inclusive of all bodies, not just those considered to be “fat” or obese,considering most humans are socialized to have negative perceptions of their bodies.

In short, body positivity and its principles are about acceptance, inclusivity, and respect. First aspect to notice: these are all social ideas, not medical ones. Why naysayers of body positivity consistently bring up the promotion of obesity when fat bodies are displayed is a mystery to me.

The second aspect of its definition one must notice: body positivity does not “promote” any body type. It is simply stating that all body types have intrinsic value. We certainly agree with this as a society. If you intentionally hurt someone’s body--again, regardless of the look, age, or state of that body--we consider that a crime. Body positivity simply concurs with this logic.

Lastly, body positivity by definition does not purport that evolution, change, and/or a healthy lifestyle is unacceptable. You can be body positive and be healthy. In fact, body positivity promotes taking care of yourself.

1 - “Your weight is entirely within your control, you are just being lazy”

As a random guy wrote on Facebook: “Body positivity is appreciating things that are beyond your control, like the colour of your eyes, skin colour, hair texture, height, etc. Weight is entirely within your control...if you eat a lot, you will get fat. Body positivity enables gluttony which is a slap to the face for underprivileged people everywhere in the world.”

That's not entirely true: gaing wight could be caused by hormones (pregnancy, menopause, ecc), genetics (for e.g. Peter Will syndrome) other medical condition linked to endocrines such as Cushing's syndrome or a malfunction of thyroid (hypothyroidism).

The involvement of genetic factors in the development of obesity is estimated to be 40–70%. Some of these obesogenic or leptogenic genes may influence obese individuals response to weight loss or weight management.

To date, more than 400 different genes have been implicated in the causes of overweight or obesity, although only a handful appear to be major players. Genes contribute to the causes of obesity in many ways, by affecting appetite, satiety (the sense of fullness), metabolism, food cravings, body-fat distribution, and the tendency to use eating as a way to cope with stress.

The strength of the genetic influence on weight disorders varies quite a bit from person to person. Research suggests that for some people, genes account for just 25% of the predisposition to be overweight, while for others the genetic influence is as high as 70% to 80%.

Obesity or overweight is not concerned about gluttony. It could depend on a lot of factors: physical and psychological. It is proved that people with depression or anxiety may experience weight gain or weight loss due to their condition or the medications that treat them. Depression and anxiety can both be associated with overeating, poor food choices, and a more sedentary lifestyle. Over time, weight gain may eventually lead to obesity.

Body positivity is about being conformable in our skins. Appreciating what we are and what we have. Body positivity does not promote any form of body, differently of what our media do.

2 — “You cold loose some weight, if you put in some dedication”

This one deleted the previous comment in which he used abused, starving people in Auschwitz to promote a diet, but I have his second one: “I meant that the problem with losing weight is just calories you eat vs calories you burn, of course the amount of calories you burn depend on hormones and a lot of other things. However, everyone can burn more calories by exercising. The Auschwitz prisoners were just an example that it is possible to lose weight, no matter the circumstances, if you REALLY put your mind to it. How you go about increasing the gap between the calories you consume and the ones you burn is up to you. Also, long term, even a 100kcal deficit per day can help you lose weight. You dont have to starve yourself to lose weight.”

Loosing weight is not always a good thing and it is not as easy like those people think.

Muscle does weigh more than fat because it is a denser product. On average, the density of fat is 0.9g/ml. The density of muscle is 1.1 g/ml. Using the averages, 1 liter of muscle weights 1.06 kg or 2.3 lbs., while 1 liter of fat weights .9 kg, or 1.98 lbs. An easier way to think of it might be: if you have an equal volumn of fat and muscle, fat is going to weigh about 80% of what the muscle weighs. This can vary due to numerous factors including race, being extremely lean or being extremely obese according to “Exercise Physiology” by William D. McArdle, et al.

The ‘take away’ points are:

Yes, muscle weighs more than fat. But….. do not assume because you started working out and you are not losing weight it is because you are increasing muscle.

The higher percent muscle you have on your body the smaller your clothing size because muscle takes up less space than fat.

On the other hand, if you are loosing weight, don't presume you are necessarly loosing fat, you could also lost muscles and this is not a good thing.

For that guy, don't eat is the solution to every weight problem. This leads to a thing called anorexia (which is one of the most painful consequences of the idealization of a “perfect body shape” myth portrayed by media). And, again, this guy really thinks that abused starving people are a good example to promote a diet. He seems to doesn't know how work human body and that if you don't eat as much to sustain your body, you will begin to feel always tired, weak and such because your body doesn't have enaugh energy to consume. We will see this in the next point.

3 — “You better have a diet”

I use the word "diet" in this context to refer to any set of restrictive food rules (barring true medical and ethical concerns). If you are feeling guilt and shame about your food choices, it is likely that you are approaching the experience of eating from a "diet mentality."

The word "diet" often has a negative connotation, so many people prefer to say they are making a “lifestyle change.” But if your lifestyle change entails rigid food rules that invoke guilt when broken, you are probably on a diet, even if in disguise. And the truth is, the diet industry wants us to "fail" so that we will continue to purchase their products. When you jump on the latest fad bandwagon, you support a multi-billion dollar industry that profits by convincing us we are inherently flawed.

Diets do not help you maintain weight loss long-term. The idea that people fail at diets because of a lack of willpower is a myth perpetuated by the diet industry. Powerful biological factors essentially ensure that your attempt at dieting will fail. Researcher Traci Mann, who has studied dieting for more than 20 years, found that there are metabolic, hormonal, and neurological changes that contribute to "diet failure."

According to Mann, "When you are dieting, you actually become more likely to notice food. . . But you don't just notice it—it actually begins to look more appetizing and tempting." Mann also stated that as you begin to lose weight, "the hormones that make you feel hungry increase" and "the hormones that help you feel full, or the level of those rather, decreases."

For the average adult in a resting state, the brain consumes about 20 percent of the body’s energy. The brain’s primary function — processing and transmitting information through electrical signals — is very, very expensive in terms of energy use.

The exact percentages are difficult to ascertain, but we have pretty good estimates of where that energy is going, though it varies by the area of the brain. In the cerebral cortex of mice, about a quarter of the brain’s energy goes to maintaining the neurons and glial cells themselves — the processes that all cells go through to remain alive. The remaining 75 percent is used for signaling — sending and processing electrical signals across the brain’s circuits. These numbers seem to be very similar in humans.

The brain is an energy-hungry organ. Despite comprising only 2 percent of the body’s weight, the brain gobbles up more than 20 percent of daily energy intake. Because the brain demands such high amounts of energy, the foods we consume greatly affect brain function, including everything from learning and memory to emotions.

Just like other cells in the body, brain cells use a form of sugar called glucose to fuel cellular activities. This energy comes from the foods we consume daily and is regularly delivered to brain cells (called neurons) through the blood.

As Mann explains, when you diet, "Your metabolism slows down. Your body uses calories in the most efficient way possible... When your body finds a way to run itself on fewer calories there tends to be more left over, and those get stored as fat."

Thus, it is no surprise that studies show that 95 percent of people will "fail" at diets. Most people can lose weight in the short-term; however, over time the majority will regain the weight they lost—and potentially gain even more. Working to suppress your weight below your natural body weight is ultimately a fruitless effort—in fact, it's an utter waste of time.

4 — “Being overweight or obese means being unhealthy”

Studies have found that anywhere from one-third to three-quarters of people classified as obese are metabolically healthy. They show no signs of elevated blood pressure, insulin resistance or high cholesterol. Meanwhile, about a quarter of non-overweight people are what epidemiologists call “the lean unhealthy.” A 2016 study that followed participants for an average of 19 years found that unfit skinny people were twice as likely to get diabetes as fit fat people. Habits, no matter your size, are what really matter. Dozens of indicators, from vegetable consumption to regular exercise to grip strength, provide a better snapshot of someone’s health than looking at them from across a room.

According to an article in The Nutrition Journal by Dr. Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramor, "Most epidemiological studies find that people who are overweight or moderately obese live at least as long as normal weight people, and often longer."

So, you can be under or normal weight, but that's doesn't make necessarly much more healthy than a overweight people. You can't say that a person is not "healthy" by judging on their physical appearance.

Some feminist points of view

Now, aks yourselves why so many cisgender etherosexual men are so upset from seeing plus size models in media? Do they really care about stranger's women heath?

NOPE!

Oh. Maybe is because they are the ones who lose something in seeing women considered not attractive for their physical appearance being accepted and admired?

YES.

Female beauty standard in media are designed for heterosexual male consumption.

As women gain economic and political power, their beauty should matter less.

Feminist scholars have contended that cultural norms and expectations encourage girls and women to be attentive to and psychologically invested in their physical appearance, which can undermine their well-being and contribute to eating dysregulation, depression, and other psychological difficulties (Cash, Ancis, & Strachan, 1997). Mary Wollstonecraft (1792), who is considered to be the founder of feminism, asserted that women's preoccupation with appearance was due to impoverished education, domestic subjugation, and vain pursuits toward which women were directed by their culture. The feminist perspective reaffirms the declaration that a woman's self-worth, ability, and livelihood are not centred on her physical appearance.

Wayne Dyer (1976/1995) elaborated on this: “many women have accepted the cultural dispatches and behave in ways that they are supposed to when it comes to their bodies. Shave your legs and underarms, deodorize yourself everywhere, perfume your body with foreign odours, sterilize your mouth, make up your eyes, lips, cheeks, pad your bra, spray your genitals with the appropriate bouquet, and falsify your fingernails. The implication is that there is something unpleasant about the natural you, the essentially human you, and only by becoming artificial can you become attractive.”

Peterson et al. (2008) posit that feelings of powerlessness may lead a woman to rely on external evaluations of her body as well as to control her eating behaviours. In contrast, feelings of empowerment may decrease the likelihood that a woman will internalize society's messages regarding attractiveness and hence develop schemas that highlight the importance of appearance. Overall, what is suggested is that feeling empowered in one's life may translate to reduced self-objectification and, in turn, to a decrease in negative evaluations of body image.

As this gross guy said:

“Those women aren't thin they look healthy, your problem with them is that their not grossly obese, I've got news for you, most men don't find grossly obese women attractive. Women decide what they want to look like and that happens to be appealing to men, the media has nothing to do with it, women have been beautifying themselves in order to attract men for millennia.”

Young-Eisendrath (1999) elaborates on the psychological damage done by this: “the belief that we must be thin in order to be successful results in feelings of insecurity about ourselves and our abilities. Obsessive control of the female body leads not to power but to shame, self-consciousness, confusion, illness, even death by eating disorders. Longing to be reassured of our worth and validity, we submit to humiliating advice from experts who tell us what and when to eat, and how to exercise, as if we were children.”

In summary, the obsession with physical appearance often distorts reality, making individuals vulnerable to a host of psychological difficulties, including depression and anxiety, and even abuse (Hooks, 1995). Seeking the ideal body type, which is thinner genetically than 95% of women, is also harmful, as the anxiety it creates about weight is focused upon unnatural thinness rather than health (Williams, 1998).

Body positivity protects women from negative feelings about their bodies: women are encouraged to refute the message of the importance of thinness and develop more empowering self-definitions based on other attributes such as their intelligence or creativity. Feminist ideology thus emphasizes that a woman's self-worth should not be determined by her physical appearance.

This male obsession about our weight, saying that we are not "healthy", is just another way to cotrol our bodies, girls!

Lisa Turner, a food writer and nutrition consultant, summed it up best: “Losing weight is not your life's work, and counting calories is not the call of your soul. You surely are destined for something much greater, much bigger, than shedding 20 pounds or tallying calories. What would happen if, instead of worrying about what you had for breakfast, you focused instead on becoming exquisitely comfortable with who you are as a person?”

Some final conclusions

So telling to every people "you are fat, lazy, ugly and need to exercise for your own health" is not only harmful but not even ever correct for all the reason above.

The person you are insulting online could be “overweight” because has a condition, is highly depressed for past suffering experience (I know girls with past of sexual abuse who used to eat to find comfort for a pain that her cannot express in other ways). Or maybe not. To make it easier for you to understand, you must stop to judge people we don't know on their physical appearance, body shape or weight and we must try to be polite, so you will not get yourselves into embarrassing situations saying stupid things like "oh, sorry... I didn't know you had this thing...", after giving unrequested health suggestion to strangers or insulting them?

Have you ever consider how harm can do on others your “caring about strangers” health? What YOU are doing is causing eating disorders and low self-esteem on others. Body positivity helps to accept ourselves and not to spend our time into stupid considerations about our bodies.

THAT'S WHY WE NEED BODY POSITIVITY!

A little list to summarize:

Don't give unrequested health suggestion: they don't ask and you are not their doctor;

Every person need to be accepted and respected as they are;

Obesity bias adversely affects a person’s likelihood to get help;

Your body works better when you thinking happy thoughts about yourself;

Negative body image DOES promote obesity. And anorexia. And a lot of other bad stuff.

[okayoonoh]

JUNGWOO’S FAMILY

a/n: i honestly can’t believe i’ve gotten this far! i’m so happy that i’ve been keeping up with these and i hope you guys have been liking them so far!

here’s the masterlist to all things nct dad related! go and check it out! i have so many other parts written already :)

KIM JUNGWOO:

he has three kids, all daughters. kim jia is the oldest, 3 years later, kim jieun was born, and 3 years after that, kim jiyoung was born.

(when jiyoung was born, jia was 6 years old while jieun was 3 years old)

KIM JIA: >> as a baby <<

she comes runner up in the position as calmest

she was so freaking chill like?

when jia was born, jungwoo saw his entire universe the second she opened her eyes and looked at her appa

you know how when jungwoo smiles, he looks like the little dumpling ?

yeah

that’s jia

she looks more like the dumpling then jungwoo does lol

jia was also pretty small when she was born

but that didn’t stop her!

when she gained weight, she mostly gained it in her belly and her face

she like was fine proportionally, but her belly was just so big lol

it honestly was the cutest

jungwoo nicknamed her mandu bc she was honestly just the sweetest little dumpling

she wasn’t shy when it came to her smiles

she was a little wary around strangers but that’s okay

jungwoo was honestly a really anxious dad

like he just would think that anything and everything can go wrong and he was just so nervous

but like jia took it easy on him dw

like if you had to leave for something for like a couple days

jungwoo would be so anxious about taking care of jia by himself

but then jia would just give her appa a pretty little reassuring smile

and he knew that he got it

jungwoo is honestly a really good dad

like naturally

he read a couple books and such

but a lot of his skills come naturally

he knew all of the things jia liked

he knew how to calm her down

she was honestly the worst with strangers

like if jungwoo or you had to leave the room

she would cry as if you left her forever

jia slowly learned that you guys still exist even if you leave the room haha

she was just so loving with her parents

>> as a child <<

she’s still just so chill dude

like obvi she’s a kid and when she gets excited, she’ll get excited

but she’s not like the “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” kind of kid

she’s more of a “woo”

she’s best friends with jeno’s oldest, lee juwon

juwon is a lot like his dad

he thinks that it’s so cool that jia is so smart

she’s kinda panicky lol

but juwon is just like weird with his humor and stuff

they still vibe together well tho

they both have the greatest smiles

like it’s one of those situations that they don’t have that much in common

but they just vibe so well together

she’s. so. smart.

jia is one of those people that school comes easy to them

like learning is just so easy for her

she was already learning really complex topics for her age

and she just kept wanting to learn more

she’s not super competitive with being top of the class tho

jia will tutor anyone who asks

even tho she’s smart

when she’s with juwon, they don’t make the best decisions

like if you send them to the store to buy more soy sauce or something

they’ll forget the soy sauce

but they’ll buy you like a pan or something

they once clogged the drain and turned the shower into a vertical bath tub

how?

no one knows

it was HE double hockey sticks to drain tho lol

when juwon and jia play, they play hard

like jia is the type of girl to be covered bruises

and she won’t care

she’s a really good sister to all of her siblings

she doesn’t really boss them around

but she will use her older sister powers if one of them steps out of line

like if one of them annoys her while she’s studying or something

she’ll use her older sister voice

she rarely uses it tho lol

>> as a teen/adult <<

she’s so heckin smart dude

honestly, probably the smartest person in the entire group

she decides that she really enjoys helping people when they’re at their worst

and she becomes a orthopedic surgeon

like she achieves to be head of surgery in her hospital

even tho she’s a doctor, she still believes in all the medical myths lol

for example

if it’s really cold outside

and jiyoung is going out for a run

jia will make jiyoung where like 500 layers

jia: “yoU’RE GONNA GET SICK”

jiyoung: “you literally just told me how that was a myth whY -- UNNIE I’LL BE OUT FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES I DON’T NEED TO WEAR MY SNOW COAT AND YOUR’S! IT’S NOT EVEN SNOWING.”

she’s so caring towards her siblings like it’s crazy

she’s proud of everything they do

jia watches every single one of jieun’s blogs

she watches every single one of jiyoung’s soccer games

she’s there for everything

jia doesn’t know what sleep is lol

she’s constantly studying and improving her skills as a surgeon

like even when she’s on vacation

she’s reading her books and stuff

her favorite place to study is qian fen’s cafe

she vibes so well in there

she’s honestly obsessed with her skin

lowkey a dermatologist at this point

jungwoo still occasionally calls her mandu lol

juwon is like one of the only people that knows how to get her to relax lol

she’s honestly a bit of a workaholic

jia can’t help it

she still cares so much about her entire family

she’ll get them in with the good doctors (discounts too)

whenever she’s overworked or overstressed, she goes home

being around family reenergizes her

she relates a lot with her dad

she’s honestly a mini version of jungwoo

if jungwoo can tell that she’s struggling, he’ll do the things he did to her as a baby

like seriously lol

he’ll find her plushy she had when she was a baby

and sing her the same songs 

it would make you cry every time because it was so gosh darn cute

KIM JIEUN: >> as a baby <<

also super chill

jieun was honestly so chic

like it would take a lot to make her smile

like if know rohui from return of the superman

like she had the brightest and goofiest smile

but jieun had to keep her chic aesthetic and couldn’t show emotions lol

even when jungwoo and you were jumping up and down making yourselves look ridiculous, she still won’t smile

when, and it was rare, she did smile, it was a big smile

she would give you guys the biggest smiles just so show how happy she is

she wasn’t a super playful baby lol

she was just so chic like idk what else to say lmao

when jieun was around her squad™ she would smile a bit more

but she still maintained her image

she loved to babble

jieun wanted to talk as soon as she could

she would talk even before she knew how lol

like omg imagine

so like you’re with jia for something and jungwoo wants to take a roadtrip with his little princess

she’ll babble the ENTIRE way

none of them are actual words other than “appa” and “eomma” 

and jungwoo would respond so well to everything 

like he would have actual conversations with her

jungwoo wasn’t as stressed this time around

it’s different with two kids tho

but it’s okay

he still kept those natural dad instincts 

jungwoo is so caring towards all of his children it’s just the sweetest

jieun honestly was just a chic baby 

>> as a child <<

she’s super feminine

like she loves all things pink

all things frilly and pretty

soft™ 

her favorite game was all games related to being a princess

she really was your family’s princess tho

jieun was so creative from an early age

and she was so artistic

like she took up drawing, sketching, etc. all from an early age

and she’s super talented with it too

jieun is in the squad of her, jaehyun’s son, jung leon, hendery’s middle son, wong liuwei, and haechan’s middle daughter, lee haeun

jieun is the calmest out of all of them

but they honestly can all be so crazy

generally, jieun is like the one who is trying to calm everyone down

but when she’s in the right mood, she’s right up there with them in crackheadedness

she speaks in tiny

she’s still super girly tho lol

she starts to get interested in makeup in this age

jieun didn’t really like playing with dolls and such

but she did enjoy playing with those makeup sets

she would do her makeup

your makeup

jia’s makeup

jungwoo’s makeup

jiyoung’s makeup

e v e r y o n e

she becomes obsessed with beauty

jieun is one of those girls who you’re like “yeah, she is a GIRL.”

and she loves it!

it’s just her aesthetic :)

>> as a teen/adult <<

she becomes a well known makeup artist

still super duper chic and artistic

she’s known for her colorful and technically perfect style

she does makeup for all of the models and celebrities of the group

like if they want to go for the aesthetic look, they go to her

and she does an amazing job

she’s so talented with all things dealing with beauty

hair, makeup, nails, e v e r y t h i n g

whenever she models for anything, she does her own makeup

her fashion sense is always trendy

jieun has a pristine self image and she tries to maintain it

guys hit on her all of the time lmao

she handles it so well tho

she looks them right in the eyes, as intimidating as possible, and takes a deep breath

she then uses words that don’t match with her image at all

but they’re so scary

like people would think she was a delinquent in her past life with all of the things she says

everyone in her squad find this kinda entertaining

she just gets annoyed because she hates creeps

even tho she cares a lot about her self-image, if someone is being weird around her friends, she’ll do the same thing she’ll do for herself

it usually shocks the dude so much

she can beat them up too lol

jieun is chic and stuff, but being in the squad, she learned how to fight

and she can take care of herself haha

jieun is pretty reliable

like if she makes an engagement, she won’t run from it

she does a really good in keeping up with everything

she gets along well with all of her siblings

jiyoung takes interest in fashion and jieun helps her out

honestly, jieun really is that girl and it’s just so cool

KIM JIYOUNG: >> as a baby <<

she’s been a soccer player from the start

she had such strong legs as a baby

like being pregnant with her was not a fun time

when she kicked, she kicked

even when she was born

her legs were just aching to start running

jiyoung was very similar to jia when she started gaining weight

except her legs were a lot more chubby than jia’s was

jiyoung was an early riser from the start

every day, you would begin by stretching out the little baby

that’s when all of her gigles were

stretching time was jiyoung’s favorite time

out of all of your kids, jiyoung was the most social

jiyoung was fine with strangers

and jiyoung would give you guys way more smiles than jieun did 

jiyoung just seemed constantly happy about life

it was a treat to see

in all physical things, she was advanced

literally the second she started walking, she was trying to run

she was just so active and wanted to explore the world

when she was a toddler oh no

you didn’t want to have to get one of those baby backpack leashes, but you had to

she was just too fast

even jungwoo couldn’t keep up with her 

she was so excited all of the time haha

nothing seemed to calm her down

she would be full of energy until she collapsed pretty much

jiyoung was such a happy baby tho it was honestly so endearing

>> as a child <<

super duper athletic

she kinda seemed intimidating if you didn’t know her

but she’s chill dw

she put all of her energy into sports and she excelled

jiyoung is so talented in all of her sports

but her favorite is soccer

mainly because her dad was so good at soccer, she loves how she can relate with him

she’s generally happiest when she’s playing sports

she enjoys being the baby of the family tho

jiyoung is pretty independent in most situations

but when she’s around her sisters, she changes lol

like a lot of people think that she’s super cool and independent and no one can hold her down

but the second jieun needs help with something, jiyoung is on her way ASAP

jiyoung wasn’t super needy or high maintenance

she would just appreciate everything you would buy for her

she had really tan skin because she was out in the sun tho

even tho it’s “against the beauty standard” to have tan skin

she embraced it

jieun, the beauty guru of the entire group, said that jiyoung and the best skin

jia is willing to fight ANYONE who makes fun of jiyoung’s skin tone

jiyoung embraced herself and loved herself from such an early age

she’s best friends with yuta’s youngest son, nakamoto itsuki

itsuki is also a soccer prodigy

they relate a lot with soccer

they honestly compliment each other so well

like itsuki is a little goofy and stuff

and so is jiyoung

they both are super tan and athletic too

they just were meant to be from such an early age

jiyoung wasn’t really into things that were super feminine tho 

she prefers “dirt over skirts”

jiyoung is such a hard worker

like she works through all of her sore muscles and everything

but she just does such a good job and maintains a positive attitude

>> as a teen/adult <<

a soccer player ™ 

she goes and plays professionally

she’s just so gosh darn athletic it’s so cool

she just genuinely enjoys playing soccer

jiyoung does have those days where she pushed herself too hard

but she just needs to see her family one more time to get back into the swing of things

whichever team she’s on, she becomes the face of the team

jiyoung honestly has the brightest smile and everyone loves it

when she speaks in any situation that’s not a soccer game, she speaks in tiny

but when she’s out on the field

she’s LOUD

so LOUD

she doesn’t know why she’s so quiet off the field but she just is lol

she starts to take an interest in fashion and such after establishing herself as a professional soccer player

jieun is like “dw jiyoung, i gotchu bb”

jieun knows her sister’s aesthetic and just rolls with it

jiyoung wears everything jieun tells her too

like even tho jiyoung has taken an interest in fashion, she sucks at choosing her own outfits lol

itsuki and jiyoung get together

everyone knew it was gonna happen lol

they were honestly soulmates from the second they met

athletic power couple of the century

if they have a match on the same night, they’ll wear the same color headbands and shoes

they do subtle things

like the even have customized cleats with each other’s names in them 

on their biggest game days, they wear those cleats

honestly, it’s the cutest

like ugh

i guess you can say that itsuki and jiyoung are goals *badum tssssss*

jungwoo just wants to be there for all of her matches

jiyoung makes sure that the two of you get season tickets to the best seats in the stadium

jungwoo is so happy whenever he sees all of his daughters happy and together

he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

---

junguwu really out here with the uwuest family of them all :,)

i hope you guys liked it! i was struggling a bit with these three because i knew how they were in my head but i just couldn’t put it to words haha

anyway, lucas’s family is next~

- amy <3

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 5: The Trip

This episode is one of my favourites simply because we get high!Malcolm.

Here are my thoughts.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1:15 - Malcolm’s hair is attractive like this. 

2:29 - Poor Malcolm is deteriorating fast. At least he knows he needs sleep? I guess that’s good?

3:00 - Malcolm’s startled self-deprecation here is upsetting. Does he really think that when it comes to relationships/non-murder related things he’s incapable of being right?

3:26 - When Malcolm isn’t doing well, but he’s actively trying to convince others that he’s fine, he ends up looking very manic.

4:20 - “Where are they going?” That look? That is desperation. The look in Gil’s eyes? That is pain. That is concern. I am living for it. 

4:45 - The look Gil give Bright here breaks my heart. You can tell that Gil wants nothing more than to wrap Bright in a blanket and haul him off to some sort of safe place until Bright feels better.

5:00 - Confirmation that even if Malcolm’s dad wasn’t a serial killer he wouldn’t be a stereotypical sports loving guy. 

5:50 - It’s upsetting that Malcolm looks happiest at crime scenes. 

6:25 - “He’s literally covered in drugs.”  hahaha JT is the best. 

7:10 - Aww Malcolm, reign it in buddy. Dani seemed annoyed before you started profiling her. 

7:34 - Gil’s face here is perfect. It’s a face that says “I work with children. I regret the life decisions that led me into this room.”

8:07 - Why doesn’t Malcolm know about this? It happened after the 90s. He met Gil in ‘98. Gil took him on stakeouts. Did Gil never tell him work stories!? Nah. I don’t buy it. This explanation was for the audience. Malcolm already knew. 

8:08 - ...So the woman in the pew that we just saw. Is she really present for the whole drug/police convo that’s about to happen? Does it get her killed? Seems like a church should be evacuated before police and drug dealers discuss dangerous information in it. Maybe that’s just me?

8:10 - Gil blesses himself. Gil is catholic? Do you think he ever took Malcolm to church? Does he regularly attend church or is this a childhood habit that Gil has? Was Gil raised catholic but moved away from the church as an adult? I’m fascinated by this. I want information.

9:10 - Is Dani ok? I mean I know why she’s acting the way she is (because rewatch) but she seems really upset this whole episode. Is there something else going on with her?

9:50 - *sigh* He’s having hallucinations now too?! This is not good. Our boy needs help. ALSO - The looks that Malcolm get from JT and Gil are everything. They look so concerned. My heart is full. 

11:09 - Last episode Malcolm had a desk. Now he’s working (with a pencil cup) in the case board room? Is this by choice? Because he wants to be able to look at the board or did he somehow lose desk privileges? Does he share the desk with someone else? I have questions. 

11:40 - There’s something really beautiful about the way Dani and Malcolm interact. It’s when we see Malcolm at his most calm and rational. It’s when we see Dani at her most vulnerable. Dani is such a badass but when she interacts with Malcolm there’s a beautiful softness about her. There’s a vulnerability to both of them that’s too precious for this world. You can see how much they care about each other (as friends or more, I’m not getting into the Brightwell debate).

12:20 - You ever wonder if Malcolm experimented with street drugs as a teenager/college student? I do. I wonder if he was so desperate to numb his pain that he tried street drugs in addition to his prescriptions. Maybe when he was at Harvard? 

12:40 - Malcolm looks to Gil for permission. Another instance where we see that Malcolm has a big heart. Yes Malcolm is manic and weird but he also cares about others. He has tact. It’s just that sometimes he chooses to be blunt, or to be insensitive when he’s desperate for information pertaining to a case/his past. 

13:03 - Holy crap. That look on Malcolm’s face. He’s scared. For Dani. Well. My heart has melted. 

13:40 - How many staff members does Jessica have? She lives alone. In a townhouse. She has no yard to maintain. So far there’s been Louisa, Aldolpho, and now Kimberly....Rich people live a weird life. 

14:10 - How did Eve find out that Jessica was looking to donate money if she wasn’t invited to this luncheon? Who told Eve about it? Or was Eve spying on the Whitly family? 

14:35 - I’ll be honest: I immediately didn’t/don’t like Eve. It seemed weird that she showed up uninvited to the Jessica’s place. Eve’s confidence is mixed with a sort of ambition that just rubs me the wrong way. Basically, she reminds me too much of someone I didn’t like in high school. 

15:30 - Malcolm really doesn’t do undercover well does he? I mean he’s sooo overdressed. Couldn’t he have at least taken off his tie before going to this club? He sticks out like a sore thumb. Did Malcolm come to the club to talk to Estime or because he profiled that Dani would come to the club and he was worried about her? 

16:18 - “That’s a bad guy window.” This line is cute. What’s cuter is how relaxed Malcolm is in this scene. It’s the most calm we’ve seen him all episode. 

17:20 - Did Dani and Estime have a romantic relationship in the past? The way they’re interacting seems to imply it. 

17:53 - And we’re right back to manic Malcolm. Look at his eyes. Yikes. This dude really obsesses over mysteries. 

18:50 - Why did the gun wielding dude suddenly go away? Did he assume he made the kill he came there for? Did he know the cops were coming? 

18:52 - Here comes angry Dad. 

19:21 - and here is Concerned Dad. 

19:32 - Ok. So Malcolm is high here (which is hilarious) but that little speech he gives to Gil is really touching and honestly completely on the mark. Do you think Gil and Malcolm ever discussed it when Malcolm was sober? Do you think Malcolm ever told that to Gil before this moment? I honestly think Gil needed to hear that. Even if it was from high!Bright. He looked really close to snapping at one (or both) of his children. He needed to remember why he loves them. Why they love him.

20:00 - Seriously. Gil is just the team Dad. I want to see a team dinner at Gil’s place. Where Gil asks everyone about their day and acts like a total Dad. 

20:36 - How did Malcolm get into his weapon collecting hobby?

21:07 - It’s heartbreaking that Malcolm is the happiest we’ve ever seen him when he’s high as a kite. 

21:38 - That’s unfiltered. That’s a man who lost all his friends when he was ten years old and was never able to make new ones. That is a man who desperately wants a friend. That is a woman who is terrified to trust. That is a woman who wants a friend. A woman who needs a friend.

22:21 - Why is it that Malcolm conveniently has food in his fridge right now? In subsequent episodes his fridge is bare. He’s admitted that most food makes him sick. Why does he have ingredients for grilled cheese tonight of all nights? I mean I know why (because the writers deemed it so) but it seems out of character?

22:40 - Dude. Malcolm has so much product in his shower. What are all of those bottles?!? And what are they for?! 

23:11 - Malcolm’s pill bottles are on the counter. Dani can see them. Does she read the labels? Does she ask him about them later? ALSO WHY ARE THERE 3 HALF FULL WATTER GLASSES ON THE COUNTER?!? He lives alone. Is one of them Dani’s? Is that a boy thing? My 20 year old brother regularly has 2-3 half full glasses of water/juice in the kitchen. It drives me crazy.

23:18 - Anyone else desperate to know what’s at the top of the stairs in Malcolm’s loft? Where do those stairs GO?

23:28 - Props to Tom Payne. This is such a believable panic attack. It’s heart breaking but honest. 

24:40 - This is it. Malcolm’s deepest fear. That he is just like his father. That he is capable of murder. That he would enjoy it. That he already has murdered someone as a child.

26:20 - Why didn’t Dani sleep on the couch? Did she leave Malcolm to sleep in the shower? Did she somehow move him to the bed? Apparently Dani did dishes though (or Malcolm when Dani was sleeping) because there is only 1 half empty glass on the counter now. 

26:21 - Anyone want to talk about how attractive Tom Payne looks in this scene? Just me? Ok. 

26:47 - I love this. The vulnerability. They trust each other enough to open up to each other. They need each other. They’re both in more pain than they pretend to be in. 

27:34 - What was Dani’s drug of choice? ALSO I want a fic of Papa!Gil taking care of a detoxing Dani. 

28:12 - Gil’s smile. His conversation with Dani. Dani’s apology. UgH. It’s perfect. He’s such a dad. He’s already forgiven her before she even tries to apologize. He’s happy to see her and he’s happy that Malcolm’s ok. 

28:23 - You know. We give Malcolm a lot of shit in this fandom for not being able to take care of himself (and rightfully so). BUT. Can we for one minute appreciate how Dani, Gil, Malcolm, and JT are all really mature, good adults? Seriously. They take responsibility for their mistakes. They apologize when necessary. They have manners. They talk to each other when something is bothering them and the time is right (well, Malcolm’s not great at this but he’s doing it better than most adults I know). 

28:48 - Ugh. Eve is back. She’s mining for information from Jessica. I can’t stand this. 

30:00 - Does this mean that Malcolm’s childhood bedroom is still intact?!? I want to see it. I want the team to see it. I want that scene and I want it now. 

30:40 - Ok. SO Eve and Malcolm have been making eyes at each other throughout this whole scene. BUT I have to wonder (April 11/2020) - was Eve ever really interested in Malcolm? I mean he just admitted to having drugs explode in his face. He walked into the room talking about barbiturates and he looks manic af right now. Even if she thought he was cute (which he is) the red flags from this conversation should have been enough for her to stay away from him.  And yet - she pursues him. Makes me question how authentically she actually cares about him. 

32:19 - Where did JT go?!? He’s been gone for the past like 20 minutes of this episode. Did he get sick? Is he on another case? I need answers.

33:19 - Ok. So JT’s pulling a warrant with Gil. 

33:25 - That right there is an authentic smile. You can see how much Malcolm loves Gil here.

35:28 - I’ll be honest the “murder of the week” in this episode is boring to me. 

40:05 - This little scene between Malcolm and Dani over tea is super sweet. 

41:54 - You’re telling me that overbearing, intense Jessica didn’t look in that box before she sent it over to Malcolm. Nah. I’m not buying it. That woman has no boundaries when it comes to her children. 

Well. Thanks for hanging out. I’ll be back soon. 

[searchingwardrobes]

If Found Please Call

This fic idea wouldn’t leave me alone, so I stayed up until one am writing it. Hopefully it’s not a hot mess. Based on my own experiences as a not-so soccer mom.

Summary: Emma Swan wasn’t trying to give Henry’s soccer coach Killian Jones her phone number. She was just sick and tired of her kid losing his water bottles.

Rating; G

Words: 3,000 +

Can also be read on Ao3

Tagging @snowbellewells @kmomof4 @kday426 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @bethacaciakay @teamhook @snidgetsafan @delirious-latenight-laughs @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @ohmakemeahercules @distant-rose @welllpthisishappening @let-it-raines

Emma Swan doesn’t ask for a three and a half bath house or high-end SUV. She doesn’t need to take her son for a week at Disney World at the Grand Floridian. But she would like for once to be able to just say yes to the little things without doing mathematical gymnastics in her head. Henry’s currently begging her for a water bottle to take to soccer, and damn it, this shouldn’t be such a big deal.

But she’s a single mom and pinching pennies just seems to be part of the deal. She doesn’t even have the added bonus of a child support check. Scratch that, having Neal in their lives wouldn’t be worth the pennies he’d most likely throw their way.

You’d think a water bottle wouldn’t be a major purchase. But first of all, this is no ordinary water bottle. This is a metal Thermos with a flip top straw that promises to keep beverages cool for twelve hours. And since Emma bought one for herself to take on stake outs, she can attest to the legitimacy of that claim. With ice still rattling around inside.

But, they aren’t cheap, at least in Emma’s opinion. She spent twenty-five bucks on hers. Henry wants a slightly smaller one, which is twenty, but that’s still a lot for a water bottle. Especially considering how many water bottles she’s already bought for the kid that he’s promptly lost. When she points this out to him, he naturally begins his debate skills which are surprisingly well-honed for a twelve-year-old.

“But this one is special, so I won’t forget it.”

She raises both eyebrows. “Special how?” Aside from keeping drinks ice cold for twelve hours.

“It’s an Avengers one.”

She crosses her arms and purses her lips at that. They’ve had this debate so many times. Her son is crazy about all things Marvel, while Emma is strictly a DC girl. She maintains that Superman and Supergirl alone could have defeated Thanos. One holds him down, the other yanks off the gauntlet, they use their heat vision to destroy the thing, and bing-bang-boom, the Justice League is home by dinner. Mary Margaret maintains it has more to do with her taste in tall and dark Tom Welling or Henry Cavill as opposed to the blonde and muscled Chrises of the world. Not that Henry’s picked up on that particular aspect of her Superman obsession.

“You can check that I have it after practice, I swear,” Henry quickly changes tactics to avoid another Avengers vs. Justice League argument.

She rolls her eyes, and Henry’s mouth is open for his next argument before she can speak. Being a single mom and having the job she does, she’s enlisted the help of every one of her closest friends to make sure Henry gets where he’s supposed to be and is supervised. Emma herself can barely make sure Henry’s got his cleats and shin guards, much less keep up with a water bottle. She certainly can’t expect David or Mary Margaret or Ruby to remember. Aside from that, she’s pretty sure Henry has left past water bottles all over Storybrooke park, not just on the soccer fields. He has a bad habit of running off to do the myriad of things boys do while waiting to be picked up. Last week, David found him and his friends playing in the creek by the parking lot. She’s pretty sure water bottle number 12 is floating its way to the Atlantic by now.

“But the environment, Mom! Remember those YouTube videos of all the plastic water bottles?”

Well, shit. Now he’s gone and pulled the “we need to save the environment” card. And yes, she was horrified at the mountains of disposable water bottles in the landfills and the beaches covered in hundreds that had washed ashore. Hell, it’s why she bought Henry the other dozen water bottles that he’s lost. And she takes waste seriously, really she does, but she’s trying to raise a kid here. If she carries the weight of the world too, she’ll end up mumbling in a corner somewhere. So when Henry kept losing the reusable bottles she kept buying, she had given up and starting buying cases of water at the grocery store to keep in the Bug. That way, her kid stayed hydrated without constant nagging.

“Henry,” she groaned, rubbing at the tension headache mounting behind her right eye, “I want to be green and all that, but you’ve lost every single reusable bottle I’ve gotten you. And none of those cost as much as this one.”

“We’ll put my name on it!”

“Your name was on the last one. Fat lot of good it did when you dropped it in the creek.” So much for saving the environment.

Henry rolled his eyes and it was way too familiar for her comfort. “Coach got onto us for that, remember? No more playing in the creek.”

Henry’s coach, Killian Jones, was the envy of every other soccer team in the rec league. He was British, and apparently, that automatically meant he knew more about soccer than anyone else in Storybrooke. Not that Emma would know. She was the farthest thing from a soccer mom. All she knew was the ball went into the net, and if the goalie didn’t stop it, they scored. No, that wasn’t right. Henry told her it was a keeper, not a goalie. God, she was awful at this sports mom thing.

Other parents cheered specific instructions to their kids from the sidelines, but Emma didn’t know enough to do that. She just clapped and yelled for the kids to “go.” Emma couldn’t even yell the other kids’ names. She missed so many practices, she hadn’t learned any of them.

“It’s okay, Mom,” Henry had told her. “Sometimes the parents are yelling stuff that’s wrong anyway. I think it annoys Coach Jones.”

If the man was annoyed, he never showed it. There had been so many games when Emma was thankful her son had gotten on his team, and it had nothing to do with his superior British knowledge of the game. He was calm and collected, while other coaches got red in the face and way too intense. He smiled and encouraged the boys, while other coaches yelled things at their players that made Emma cringe. Not that Coach Jones didn’t get loud, but it was to call out instructions to his players or to cheer them on.

Of course, some of the other single moms (and some of the married ones) were glad to have Coach Jones for other reasons. The man was easy on the eyes, there was no doubt about it. Some of the available women had even made rather obvious advances on the man, which he seemed to deflect with easy grace. But not Emma. What little romantic life she had was kept completely separate from Henry which made his coach off limits. Her romantic life was kept on the surface level too, but that was neither here nor there.

“We could add a phone number.”

Emma shakes her head to clear it of thoughts of Coach Jones and his blue eyes, easy smile, and how good he looks in soccer shorts. What were her and Henry talking about again? Oh right, the water bottle.

“You know,” Henry repeats, shaking the Avengers Thermos at her, “if found, call?”

Emma thinks about the mountains of plastic bottles in landfills, guilt rising up. She thinks of how much easier it would be if she didn’t have to buy a case of water every time she went to the store and how much space would be freed up in her tiny Bug without all those bottles of water. She looks into Henry’s eager face, and she caves.

“Fine.”

“Yes,” Henry cheers, pumping his fist.

As soon as they get home, Emma gets out the masking tape. Careful to avoid the Avengers logo, she labels it “Henry Swan. If found, please call 555-0980.”

****************************************************

It’s a week later, and Emma is on another stake out. She’s just received a text from David that he’s dropped Henry off at the apartment. She’s got Ruby lined up to head over at nine if Emma’s still working. Knowing her son’s taken care of relieves some of the tension she’s been carrying in her shoulders, and she relaxes a bit while still keeping her eyes trained on the apartment building across the street.

Her phone rings, and she frowns when she sees Coach Jones flash across her screen. She only has his number saved for when he sends out texts to the team about when the games are, what color jerseys to wear, and alerting them if a game gets rained out. He doesn’t have to, most of the other coaches assume the parents follow the team portal on the rec website, and Emma is incredibly grateful that he’s so considerate. It’s one less thing she has to stress about.

But he’s never called her, and seeing his name now has her going into immediate mom-panic mode where she jumps to the worst possible scenario. She imagines Henry getting bullied by some of the bigger players. He can’t have been injured at practice, or David would have told her, but what if Coach Jones noticed something more subtle? She saw a movie on Netflix about a figure skater who kept coughing at practice and ended up dying of a rare throat cancer.

She shakes her head at her own ridiculousness and answers the call. “Coach Jones, is everything okay?”

“Oh yes, Ms. Swan, I didn’t mean to worry you,” he assures her in his smooth accent. “I just have Henry’s Thermos here.”

“Oh,” Emma replies, letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, “thank you. He’s always forgetting his damn water bottles.”

Coach Jones chuckles. “He’s not the only lad on the team that has that habit, I can assure you.”

Emma bites her lip as his accent wreaks havoc with her hormones. Are all British men so eloquent?

“Shall I bring it by?” he continues.

“Um, no,” Emma says, “I’m working still, and I don’t feel comfortable -”

“Say no more, Ms. Swan,” he cuts her off, “I understand completely. Tell me your place of employ and perhaps I could bring it to you there.”

“That’s a bit complicated . . . I’m . . . kind of on a stake out.”

“Stake out?” he asks, and she thinks he sounds impressed. “Are you a cop?”

“No,” Emma says, a smile lifting the corner of her mouth, “I’m in bail bonds.”

“A bounty hunter?”

Emma laughs at the awe in his voice. “In a way.”

He whistles and his clear admiration makes Emma’s chest swell with ridiculous pride.

“No worries,” he tells her, “now that I’m thinking on it, there’s no reason why I can’t fill it up for Henry myself and bring it to the game Saturday.”

“Could you?”

“I’ll set it on my kitchen counter so I’ll be sure to remember,” he assures her. But it isn’t that she thinks he’ll forget, she’s just still, after all these years, surprised at random acts of kindness, no matter how small.

“Thank you, Coach Jones.”

“Please, Ms. Swan, it’s Killian.”

“Then it’s Emma to you.”

“Goodnight, Emma.”

“Goodnight, Killian.”

*************************************************

When Emma and Henry arrive at the soccer fields on Saturday, Coach Jones, as usual, is already there. He waves as soon as he sees them and jogs over with Henry’s Thermos in his hand.

“Thanks, Coach,” Henry says, taking a swig. Then he’s off to join his teammates on the other side of the field.

Emma swallows a lump in her throat when Coach Jones – Killian – lingers. He ducks his head and scratches behind his ear, and Emma can’t help but think that he’s gathering his courage. She’s suddenly petrified that he’s about to ask her out. Oh God, does he think she put her number on Henry’s thermos as a roundabout way to get him to call her?

“I must ask for your forgiveness, Emma.”

She blinks. Of all the things she thought he might say, that wasn’t it. “For what?”

He rubs at the scruff on his jaw. “I have all parent numbers saved as a group on my phone, just for team communication. I have a strict policy not to socialize with parents. It might make others believe I’m playing favorites you understand.”

“Of course,” Emma says, narrowing her eyes. Where’s he going with this?

The nervousness seems to fall away and his gaze becomes not only sincere, but a bit intense. “But after I called you about Henry’s Thermos, I saved your number as just Emma.” She can see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. “And I must confess, I've thought of calling you again many times.”

Emma commands her lips not to turn up in a smile and fails miserably. “I see.”

“I didn’t ask permission to have your number in a social compacity, and for that I apologize.”

Emma shrugs one shoulder. “No need. It’s just a phone number. We’re both adults.” Her lips continue their rebellious ways and she add, “And I don’t think just a phone call or a text here or there would be called socializing. Do you?” Is she seriously standing on the sidelines of her son’s soccer game and flirting with his coach?

Killian’s smile broadens to a full grin, dimpling his cheeks. “Aye. I believe you’re onto something, Swan.”

“I thought I told you. It’s Emma,” she says. So she’s flirting, okay?

He winks. “I didn’t say Ms Swan, now did I? The name suits you.” Then he’s jogging backwards towards his team.

Yes, she’s flirting with Henry’s soccer coach, and he’s flirting right back. The scariest part is that she isn’t scared at all. She’s so screwed.

***************************************************

It’s six weeks later, and Emma has lost count of how many text messages she has received from Killian Jones. She’s also talked to him on the phone almost daily, sometimes for hours on end. He hasn’t so much as touched her, they haven’t even been on a date, and already she’s falling hard. But they both agree that officially dating is out of the question as long as he’s Henry’s coach.

Which is why she’d giddy with excitement today. And simultaneously feeling like the worst mother in the world. Because today is Henry’s last soccer game. Maybe. If they lose, the season is over. If they win, there will be one more week of practice, then two weeks of tournament play that involves some complicated system that is ridiculous in her opinion for a rec league of twelve-year-olds. Is she a horrible mother if she doesn’t want to wait three more weeks to jump Henry’s coach? Oh God, she is. She’s a horrible mother.

She also has to talk to Henry about dating his coach. She may be breaking all her self-imposed rules of romance (yes even the one about keeping things surface level), but Henry still comes first. He’s bouncing with excitement in the passenger’s seat as they drive to the soccer fields, making her feel even more conflicted with each passing moment.

“If we go to the tournament Mom, there’s a trophy for the top three teams. I mean, we all get participation medals, but a trophy is something else!”

Emma bites her lip thinking of Henry’s disappointment if they don’t make the tournament. Three weeks, Emma, it’s only three more weeks . . . so she changes her prayers to whoever is listening that Henry’s team wins after all.

“Henry,” she says when she parks the car, “I need to ask you something important.”

“Okay . . . “

She takes a deep breath, “Would it be okay if I date Coach Jones? I mean, once the season is over?”

Henry frowns, and Emma’s heart beats erratically. If her son is upset by the prospect . . .

“Can he still be my coach next season? Cause I wanna be on his team again, and you can request a coach -”

Emma lifts her hand. “Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?” Although, she doesn’t think it will be a problem if they’re already in an established relationship when the season starts. Wait, she’s totally getting ahead of herself, and she never does that.

“Well, will you ask him before you go on your date? To be sure?”

Emma smiles softly at him. “Is that really the only thing you’re worried about?”

Henry shrugs. “Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it may be a little weird, but he is really great.”

“Yeah, kid, he is.”

**********************************************

The team is packed into Granny’s to celebrate their win. Even though it means three more weeks before she can go on her first date with Killian, Emma can’t help but get swept up with Henry’s enthusiasm. You would think they were going to the World Cup the way the boys are acting. She catches Killian’s eye across the sea of boys shoveling french fries into their mouths, and she knows that taking these kids to the tournament means a lot to him, too. He tears his blue eyes away from her to engage with the boys in front of him, congratulating each of them on how they contributed to their big win. Emma slides away, letting them have this moment.

She finds herself seeking solitude in the hallway near the bathrooms, though the boys are still a dull roar out in the dining room. Someone selects “We are the Champions” on the jukebox, and soon a chorus of warbly prepubescent boys are belting out the tune.

Killian finds her there. He reaches out to touch her elbow hesitantly, and at her soft smile, he rubs both her arms with his hands. She steps away from the wall and closer to him.

“I’m sorry our date is delayed, love.”

Emma shrugs, pushing aside her disappointment. “How can I not be happy for Henry, though? And what about you? I saw you on the sidelines. Are you sure this is just rec soccer? Because you seemed really into it today.”

He laughs, his blush rising to the tips of his elf-shaped ears. “I’m pretty excited, I won’t lie.” He takes a step closer and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. The ghost of a touch is enough to send a shudder through her. “But I’m more excited about our date.”

Her eyes dart from the blue of his eyes down to his lips. “I know we said we couldn’t date while you were Henry’s coach. But I’m not a sure a kiss would -”

He captures her mouth with his before she can finish the sentence. Emma practically loses her balance with the passion and heat of it, grasping onto his soccer jersey with both fists. He presses her against the wall as he deepens it, and Emma thinks she might just rip those soccer shorts off here and now. She whimpers slightly when he pulls away, chasing his lips, and he presses his forehead to hers.

“I was going to ask if I had been too forward, but evidently not,” he teases her.

She doesn’t answer him, she just yanks him close again. If he keeps stealing kisses like this, the next three weeks may not be so bad after all.

And she needs to remember to thank Henry for that phone number idea . . .

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi, love!! First of all, I'm discovering wonderful fics I've never read because of people's questions in your Tumblr so... thank you so f****** much!!! Now, do you have a list or would you recommend me some fics where John is a doctor? Can be in Afghanistan, with Sarah, AUs of any time and type... But where John being a doctor is an important part of the fic or the principal one. Thank you, lovely!! By the way, I've been reading your comments about the John hate and I agree with you!! 😘😘

Hi Lovely!

Ahhhhh okay you’re in luck, because I was sorting a list of “sick fics” and one of the categories was “John Takes Care of Sherlock” so I can add those onto these other “doctor John” fics!  I don’t know if I have any where he is strictly a doctor, but let’s see what’s sorted in my bookmarks right now!

DOCTOR / CARETAKER JOHN

Whispers in the Dark by coloured_ink (G, 833 w. || Bed Sharing, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety, Caring John, Spooning, Little Spoon Sherlock) – Sherlock has anxiety attacks. Good thing John always knows what to do.

Static by Johnnlocked (Krullenbol2602) (G, 917 w. || Fluff, H/C, Doctor John, Headaches, POV Sherlock, Fluff, H.C, Pre-TSo3) – Sherlock suffers from a headache.

The Most Awful Thing by whitchry9 (K+, 1,072 w. || H/C, Holmes Brothers, Seizures) – When Mycroft witnesses Sherlock having a seizure, he is at a complete loss as to what he should do. Thankfully, John is there.

Cuddling by GraciousK (G, 1,107 w. || Fluff and Angst, Cuddling/Snuggling, Fluff, Hypothermia) – When John finally finds Sherlock, he’s hypothermic and delirious. John warms him up the only way Sherlock will allow: body heat. It ends up more angsty than sexy. Part 2 of 30-day OTP Challenge: Johnlock

Bringing Colour to the World by SD_Ryan (G, 1,168w. || Est. Relationship, Sickfic, Fluff, Schmoop) – In which we encounter a sick detective, a snuggle on the couch, and a silly fairytale.

Shut Up and Sleep by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,257 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship) – Sherlock has a knack for hurting himself, although not entirely on purpose. John is a doctor, and it’s a good thing he’s there.

Mentality by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,350 w. || Friendship, Hurt / Comfort, THoB Fic, Doctor John) – It was weird. But Sherlock was having a panic attack. Re-write of the Hounds of the Baskerville scene. 

Lost Without My Army Doctor by ItsRealForUs (K, 1,499 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Migraines, Doctor John, Domestics) – Sherlock’s fighting a losing battle with his migraine when John comes home to help.

The Two of Us Against the World by slashscribe (T, 1,617 w. || Post-TAB, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Anxious Sherlock, Angsty Fluff) – John is there to take care of Sherlock as he comes down from his overdose in The Abominable Bride. Set immediately after the tarmac, back in 221B.

Conciliatory Coffee (It’s All Fine) by dget (K+, 1,635 w. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Post-TRF Reunion) – "He can feel John’s shuddering breaths in his own lungs, feel John’s heart beating behind his own sternum.“ Because John Watson is a doctor, and Sherlock Holmes is a detective, and neither really knows how to be anything else. A post-Reichenbach reunion oneshot. Can be read as Johnlock.

The Doctor’s Capable Hands by Totally-Out-Of-It (K+, 2,012 w. || Sherlock Whump, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Anxious Sherlock) – Sherlock is injured during a chase. John sits watchful at his bedside in the hospital and wonders. He wouldn’t leave Sherlock alone like this. Especially not if Sherlock wanted him to stay.

This is Life in Colour by agent iz hyper (K+, 2,038 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Sherlock Whump, Doctor John) – John thought with a flash of amusement that only Sherlock Holmes could look like he was about to pass out and still maintain his usual level of acerbic scorn. “You’re a git,” he told him mildly. “And an idiot,” he added as an afterthought, though no less pointedly.  A look into the perks of being both a doctor and a soldier when one is the friend of Sherlock Holmes.

Assurance by belovedmuerto (T, 2,382 w. || Bed-Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Idiots in Love) – It’s not so much the ‘you’re half-dead, you wanker,’ or even the broken ribs, the hairline fracture of the pelvis, the dislocated shoulder and knee, and the wrenched ankle.

Intensive Care by aceofhearts61 (T, 2,539 w. || Ace!Sherlock / Straight John Queerplatonic Relationship, Hurt Comfort, Angst, Cuddles and Snuggles, Hugs, Doctor!John, Medical Procedures) – In which John looks after Sherlock directly following the events of “Bless You and Keep You.” Sequel Fic. Part 15 of A Love with No Name

Green Carnation by glenien (T, 2,616 w. || Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Meta-Fic, Angst and Fluff, Communication, Post-TAB) – John takes Sherlock home. Part 1 of It’s No Longer Eighteen Ninety-Five

Someone Else’s Heart by thisprettywren (E, 4,188 w. || First Time, H/C, POV Sherlock, Caretaking John, Pining Idiots) – A crime scene, a rainstorm, and something they both should have known all along.

The Sum of His Parts by CommonNonsense (T, 4,311 w. || Body Worship, First Kiss / Time) – There are eleven major organ systems in the human body. Sherlock knows about all of them to some degree, but none fascinate him as much as the ones that make up John Watson.

Very Good Indeed by StillWaters1 (T, 4,531 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Doctor John, John Whump) – John Watson was a doctor, trained to observe details; a fact Sherlock had never been more aware of than when a drugged John’s lifesaving instructions were based on an unlabeled syringe and an unconscious murder suspect’s body.

This Time by Radon65 (T, 4,766 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship) –  He has practically just finished talking to Lestrade when it happens. A sudden dizziness assaults his brain, things tip sideways, and he barely catches himself on the arm of the sofa to slow his descent before he collapses altogether to the floor.

A Case of Identity by PostcardsfromTheoryland (T, 4,978 w. ||  Post-TRF, John on Holiday, Pining Sherlock, Whump, Angst, Reunion) – All John wanted was to get away from London for a few weeks. No people pointing and whispering about Sherlock Holmes when he walked past, no reporters wanting an “exclusive” about the dead detective, just some rest and relaxation in the sunshine. Then again, these holiday trips never seem to go as planned.

Needles by Kryptaria (M, 5,194 w. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Needles, Referenced/Implied Drug Use, Doctor John) – At the end of January, 2010, John and Sherlock move to 221-B Baker Street. By mid-February, John takes up his role not only as Sherlock’s guardian and helper, but also his doctor. As the months pass, they grow closer and the trust between them deepens, until Sherlock puts it to the ultimate test.

I think You Need A Doctor by TheGoodDirector (M, 5,254 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Sherlock Whump, Mistaken Couple, Humour, Platonics, Mary is Nice) – John’s not been to Baker Street in four months and returns to find a bleeding Consulting Detective. John can’t help but take care and put up with him. Set after The Sign of Three/Before His Last Vow.

Recovery by thesignsofserbia (T, 5,948 w. || HLV-Fix It / Rewrite, Villain Mary, Pining Sherlock, Major Character Injury, Scars, Self-Hatred, POV Sherlock, Doctor John, Friends to Lovers) – Set after the confrontation with Mary, and Sherlock’s cardiac arrest, John stays at 221B to aid Sherlock’s recovery, forcing them to confront wounds both old and new as they try to heal their damaged relationship.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

Survival Instinct by shirleyholmes (T, 7,162 w. || Post-TRF, First Kiss, Schmoop, Nightmares, Fluff & Angst, Grief, Idiots in Love) – After Sherlock’s “comeback” John starts obsessing with constantly making sure he’s alive (checking his heartbeat etc.)

The doctor is in by PlainJane (E, 7,581 w. || Omegaverse || Sex Therapist, Anal, Hand Jobs, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock is a young alpha with an aversion to his cycle. John is a gender medicine specialist. Nothing could possibly go wrong… Part 1 of Doctors and detectives

I’m Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

The T-Shirt Thief by watsonsherlocksuniverse (T, 7,968 w. || Pining Sherlock, Doctor John, First Kiss, Canon Fix-It, Developing Rel., Mutual Pining) – Sherlock steals John’s t-shirt from the laundry. John catches him wearing it one evening, fluff ensues with an endeared yet teasing John?

You’re a Doctor, Fix me by edken (G, 8,342 w. || Fluff / Cuddling) – Sherlock doesn’t do anything halfway, and that includes getting sick. John nurses a very sick flatmate back to health using cuddles, forehead kisses, and a massage. Humor and fluff promised this time, but also some character analysis because who doesn’t love that?

Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w. || Jealous Sherlock, First Time, RST, Idiots in Love, Frottage) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock’s, and Sherlock can’t figure out why he’s so incensed about it.

Incapacitation by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 9,424 w. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Sick Sherlock, Doctor John, Appendicitis) – The doctor had just asked how bad the pain was when the pain spiked. Sherlock’s initial response was a gasp that evolved into a whimper. “Ten,” he gasped. “Ten…”

Someone I Love by hudders-and-hiddles (M, 10,002 w. || Canon Compliant, HLV-Filler Fic, Pre-Slash, Jealous John, PIning Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, UST/URT, Dog Tags) – John gets married and Sherlock finds comfort in wearing John’s identity tags around his wrist.

The Thin Line by Odamaki (M, 10,809 w. || Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Confessions, First Times, Anal) – John swallows. Keeps his eyes on Sherlock. Begs him not to ruin him.Sherlock leans forward over the witness box ever-so slightly, “I was distracted,” he informs the court, “by my partner, John Watson.”

In A Changing Age by allonsys_girl (E, 15,590 w. || Victorian AU, Virgin / Demi Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Mild H/C) – Sherlock wakes up in the 19th century, with no idea how he got there.

Partners in Crime by Richefic (T, 16,560 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Sick John, Meddling Mycroft, Caring Sherlock, Domestics) – John Watson receives some devastating news which puts a spanner in his medical ambitions. Will Sherlock prove capable of the kind of comfort and reassurance he needs or will their partnership be ended before its even begun? Set between 1.1 and 1.2.

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock’s death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he’s hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn’t stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty’s web, BAMF-style.

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn’t just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That “doctor” actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w. || Magical Realism, John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It’s a lot less cracky than you’re probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

The Yellow Poppies by SilentAuror (E, 34,952 w. || H/C, Nightmares, HLV Fix-It, PTSD, Trauma, POV Sherlock, Doctor John) – Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w. || Casefic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

Electric Pink Hand Grenade by BeautifulFiction (E, 67,718 w. | First Time, First Kiss, Headaches and Migranes) – If Sherlock’s brain is a hard drive, then these attacks are an electro-magnetic pulse.“ Sherlock Holmes does not do anything by half, not even a migraine. It falls to John to witness one of the greatest minds he has ever known tear itself apart, and he must do his best to help Sherlock pick up the pieces.

The Moonlight and the Frost by CaitlinFairchild (E, 77,289 w. || Case Fic, Post-HLV, Self Harm, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Oral/Anal/Rimming, Romance, Angst, Mary is Not Nice) – John has to somehow rebuild his life in the wake of Mary’s betrayal and Sherlock’s deceptions.

To Light Another’s Path by BeautifulFiction (E, 128,654 w. || Post-TGG, H/C, Case Fic, First Time/Kiss, Drug Addiction) – Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John’s care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

The Horse and his Doctor by khorazir (T, 129,003 w. || Horse / Vet AU || Magical Realism, Horses, Vet John, Horse Sherlock, Implied Alcoholism) – Invalided after a run in with a poacher in Siberia, veterinary surgeon John Watson finds it difficult to acclimatise to the mundanity of London life. Things change when a friend invites him along to a local animal shelter and he meets their latest acquisition, a trouble-making Frisian with the strangest eyes and even stranger quirks John has ever encountered in a horse.

MARKED FOR LATER

These fics are just a few I remembered I put into my MFL list recently, and I haven’t read them yet, so read at your own discretion!

A Home for Us by sussexbound (NR, 3,440 w. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

How They Move In Silence by Breath4Soul (M, 3,516+ w., WiP || Doctor John, Doctor/Patient, Voiceless Sherlock, Sick Sherlock, Texting) – Sherlock loses his voice and has to communicate through texts which leads to love confessions.

Recovery by mainegirlwrites (M, 26,935 w. || Injured Sherlock, Disfigured Sherlock, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, John Takes Care of Sherlock) – The great Sherlock Holmes is recovering from disfiguring injuries with the help of Dr. John Watson - but can a broken spirit be fixed?

You Go To My Head Series by 7PercentSolution and J_Baillier (E, 257,765+ w. across 8 Stories, WiP || Surgeon AU || Medical Realism, Doctor John / Doctor Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Addiction, Angst, Slow Burn, PTSD, Pining, Insecurity) – This series is an alternate universe one, featuring the exciting medical and romantic adventures of doctors Watson (senior neuroanaesthetist) and Holmes (neurosurgeon).

[diableriax]

Futhark Runes and their meanings

Fehu - (F: Domestic cattle, wealth.) 

Possessions won or earned, earned income, luck. Abundance, financial strength in the present or near future. Sign of hope and plenty, success and happiness. Social success. Energy, foresight, fertility, creation/destruction (becoming). ​    Fehu Reversed or Merkstave: Loss of personal property, esteem, or something that you put in effort to keep. It indicates some sort of failure. Greed, burnout, atrophy, discord. Cowardice, stupidity, dullness, poverty, slavery, bondage

Uruz -  (U: Auroch, a wild ox.) 

Physical strength and speed, untamed potential. A time of great energy and health. Freedom, energy, action, courage, strength, tenacity, understanding, wisdom. Sudden or unexpected changes (usually for the better). Sexual desire, masculine potency. The shaping of power and pattern, formulation of the self. ​   Uruz Reversed or Merkstave: Weakness, obsession, misdirected force, domination by others. Sickness, inconsistency, ignorance. Lust, brutality, rashness, callousness, violence.

Thurisaz -  (TH: Thorn or a Giant.) 

Reactive force, directed force of destruction and defense, conflict. Instinctual will, vital eroticism, regenerative catalyst. A tendency toward change. Catharsis, purging, cleansing fire. Male sexuality, fertilization. (Thorr, the Thunder god, was of Giant stock.) ​   Thurisaz Reversed or Merkstave: Danger, defenselessness, compulsion, betrayal, dullness. Evil, malice, hatred, torment, spite, lies. A bad man or woman. Rape?

Ansuz- (A: The As, ancestral god, i.e. Odin.)

A revealing message or insight, communication. Signals, inspiration, enthusiasm, speech, true vision, power of words and naming. Blessings, the taking of advice. Good health, harmony, truth, wisdom.   Ansuz Reversed or Merkstave: Misunderstanding, delusion, manipulation by others, boredom. Vanity and grandiloquence. (Odin is a mighty, but duplicitous god. He always has his own agenda.)

Raidho -  (R: Wagon or chariot.) 

Travel, both in physical terms and those of lifestyle direction. A journey, vacation, relocation, evolution, change of place or setting. Seeing a larger perspective. Seeing the right move for you to make and deciding upon it. Personal rhythm, world rhythm, dance of life.                                                                                       Raidho  Reversed or Merkstave: Crisis, rigidity, stasis, injustice, irrationality. Disruption, dislocation, demotion, delusion, possibly a death.

Kenaz - (K: Beacon or torch.) 

Vision, revelation, knowledge, creativity, inspiration, technical ability. Vital fire of life, harnessed power, fire of transformation and regeneration. Power to create your own reality, the power of light. Open to new strength, energy, and power now. Passion, sexual love. ​   Kenaz Reversed or Merkstave: Disease, breakup, instability, lack of creativity. Nakedness, exposure, loss of illusion and false hope.

Gebo - (G: Gift.) 

Gifts, both in the sense of sacrifice and of generosity, indicating balance. All matters in relation to exchanges, including contracts, personal relationships and partnerships.                                                                                                              Gebo Merkstave (Gebo cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Greed, loneliness, dependence, over-sacrifice. Obligation, toll, privation, bribery. 

Wunjo - (W or V: Joy.) 

Joy, comfort, pleasure. Fellowship, harmony, prosperity. Ecstasy, glory, spiritual reward, but also the possibility of going "over the top". If restrained, the meaning is general success and recognition of worth. ​   Wunjo Reversed or Merkstave: Stultification, sorrow, strife, alienation. Delirium, intoxication, possession by higher forces, impractical enthusiasm. Raging frenzy, berzerker.

Hagalaz - (H: Hail.)

Wrath of nature, destructive, uncontrolled forces, especially the weather, or within the unconscious. Tempering, testing, trial. Controlled crisis, leading to completion, inner harmony.                                                                                     Hagalaz Merkstave (Hagalaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Natural disaster, catastrophe. Stagnation, loss of power. Pain, loss, suffering, hardship, sickness, crisis. 

Nauthiz -  (N: Need.) 

Delays, restriction. Resistance leading to strength, innovation, need-fire (self-reliance). Distress, confusion, conflict, and the power of will to overcome them. Endurance, survival, determination. A time to exercise patience. Recognition of one's fate. Major self-initiated change. Face your fears.   Nauthiz Reversed or Merkstave: Constraint of freedom, distress, toil, drudgery, laxity. Necessity, extremity, want, deprivation, starvation, need, poverty, emotional hunger.

Isa - (I: Ice.) 

A challenge or frustration. Psychological blocks to thought or activity, including grievances. Standstill, or a time to turn inward and wait for what is to come, or to seek clarity. This rune reinforces runes around it.                                                       Isa Merkstave (Isa cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Ego-mania, dullness, blindness, dissipation. Treachery, illusion, deceit, betrayal, guile, stealth, ambush, plots.

Jera - (J or Y: A year, a good harvest.) 

The results of earlier efforts are realized. A time of peace and happiness, fruitful season. It can break through stagnancy. Hopes and expectations of peace and prosperity. The promise of success earned. Life cycle, cyclical pattern of the universe. Everything changes, in its own time.                                                         Jera Merkstave (Jera cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Sudden setback, reversals. A major change, repetition, bad timing, poverty, conflict.

Eihwaz - (EI: Yew tree.) 

Strength, reliability, dependability, trustworthiness. Enlightenment, endurance. Defense, protection. The driving force to acquire, providing motivation and a sense of purpose. Indicates that you have set your sights on a reasonable target and can achieve your goals. An honest man who can be relied upon. ​   Eihwaz Reversed or Merkstave: Confusion, destruction, dissatisfaction, weakness.

Pethro - (P: Lot cup, vagina.) 

Uncertain meaning, a secret matter, a mystery, hidden things and occult abilities. Initiation, knowledge of one's destiny, knowledge of future matters, determining the future or your path. Pertaining to things feminine, feminine mysteries including female fertility, and vagina. Good lot, fellowship and joy. Evolutionary change. ​   Perthro Reversed or Merkstave: Addiction, stagnation, loneliness, malaise.

Algiz - (Z or -R: Elk, protection.) 

Protection, a shield. The protective urge to shelter oneself or others. Defense, warding off of evil, shield, guardian. Connection with the gods, awakening, higher life. It can be used to channel energies appropriately. Follow your instincts. Keep hold of success or maintain a position won or earned. ​   Algiz Reversed or Merkstave: Hidden danger, consumption by divine forces, loss of divine link. Taboo, warning, turning away, that which repels.

Sowilo -  (S: The sun.) 

Success, goals achieved, honor. The life-force, health. A time when power will be available to you for positive changes in your life, victory, health, and success. Contact between the higher self and the unconscious. Wholeness, power, elemental force, sword of flame, cleansing fire.                                                   Sowilo Merkstave (Sowilo cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): False goals, bad counsel, false success, gullibility, loss of goals. Destruction, retribution, justice, casting down of vanity. Wrath of god.

Tiwaz -  (T: Tyr, the sky god.) 

Honor, justice, leadership and authority. Analysis, rationality. Knowing where one's true strengths lie. Willingness to self-sacrifice. Victory and success in any competition or in legal matters. ​   Tiwaz Reversed or Merkstave: One's energy and creative flow are blocked. Mental paralysis, over-analysis, over-sacrifice, injustice, imbalance. Strife, war, conflict, failure in competition. Dwindling passion, difficulties in communication, and possibly separation.

Berkano - (B: Berchta, the birch-goddess.) 

Birth, general fertility, both mental and physical and personal growth, liberation. Regenerative power and light of spring, renewal, promise of new beginnings, new growth. Arousal of desire. A love affair or new birth. The prospering of an enterprise or venture. ​  Berkano Reversed or Merkstave: Family problems and or domestic troubles. Anxiety about someone close to you. Carelessness, abandon, loss of control. Blurring of consciousness, deceit, sterility, stagnation.

Ehwaz - (E: Horse, two horses.) 

Transportation. May represent a horse, car, plane, boat or other vehicle. Movement and change for the better. Gradual development and steady progress are indicated. Harmony, teamwork, trust, loyalty. An ideal marriage or partnership. Confirmation beyond doubt the meanings of the runes around it. ​   Ehwaz Reversed or Merkstave: This is not really a negative rune. A change is perhaps craved. Feeling restless or confined in a situation. Reckless haste, disharmony, mistrust, betrayal.

Mannaz -  (M: Man, mankind.) 

The Self; the individual or the human race. Your attitude toward others and their attitudes towards you. Friends and enemies, social order. Intelligence, forethought, create, skill, ability. Divine structure, intelligence, awareness. Expect to receive some sort of aid or cooperation now. ​   Mannaz Reversed or Merkstave: Depression, mortality, blindness, self-delusion. Cunning, slyness, manipulation, craftiness, calculation. Expect no help now.

Laguz - (L: Water, or a leek.) 

Flow, water, sea, a fertility source, the healing power of renewal. Life energy and organic growth. Imagination and psychic matters. Dreams, fantasies, mysteries, the unknown, the hidden, the deep, the underworld. Success in travel or acquisition, but with the possibility of loss.     Laguz Reversed or Merkstave: An indication of a period of confusion in your life. You may be making wrong decisions and poor judgements. Lack of creativity and feelings of being in a rut. Fear, circular motion, avoidance, withering. Madness, obsession, despair, perversity, sickness, suicide.

Ingwaz - (NG: Ing, the earth god.) 

Male fertility, gestation, internal growth. Common virtues, common sense, simple strengths, family love, caring, human warmth, the home. Rest stage, a time of relief, of no anxiety. A time when all loose strings are tied and you are free to move in a new direction. Listen to yourself.                                                              Ingwaz Merkstave (Ingwaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Impotence, movement without change. Production, toil, labor, work.

Dagaz - (D: Day or dawn.) 

Breakthrough, awakening, awareness. Daylight clarity as opposed to nighttime uncertainty. A time to plan or embark upon an enterprise. The power of change directed by your own will, transformation. Hope/happiness, the ideal. Security and certainty. Growth and release. Balance point, the place where opposites meet.                                                                                                                 Dagaz Merkstave (Dagaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): A completion, ending, limit, coming full circle. Blindness, hopelessness.

Othala - (O: Ancestral property.) 

Inherited property or possessions, a house, a home. What is truly important to one. Group order, group prosperity. Land of birth, spiritual heritage, experience and fundamental values. Aid in spiritual and physical journeys. Source of safety, increase and abundance. ​    Othala Reversed or Merkstave: Lack of customary order, totalitarianism, slavery, poverty, homelessness. Bad karma, prejudice, clannishness, provincialism. What a man is bound to.

Taken from: http://satansgarden.weebly.com/runes.html

[paxetamara-blog]

http://www.sunnyway.com/runes/meanings.html

MEANINGS OF THE RUNES

I work with the “Elder Futhark”, the runic alphabet which is a composite of the runic symbols most commonly used in northern Europe. The names of the runes of the Elder Futhark are speculative recreations of what linguists call “proto-Germanic”, which stems from “proto-Indo-European”.

There are many versions of the runic alphabets. Each has variations in names, shapes, esoteric meanings and magical uses. One should not mix futharks, or the intent or meaning becomes confused. The Elder Futhark, the Anglo-Saxon Futhorc, and the Younger (or Scandinavian) Futhark are the most frequently seen versions of the runic alphabets in use today.

The runes are broken into three sections or groups of eight, called aett (aettir, plural). This helps one to remember their order, and later, you will see, has significance in magical uses.

First the rune name is given, then its phonetic value, its symbolic image, and finally the esoteric meaning used in divination. Rune users disagree on whether or not to place a different meaning on a rune that falls in an inverted or reversed position. Some runes look the same upside down and right side up. These cannot be “reversed”. Nevertheless, any of the runes may appear as a “merkstave” (which literally means “dark stick” and implies a “dark” meaning), depending on how the runes are cast. Note that a “reversed” or “merkstave” meaning is not the opposite of its primary meaning, but usually has a more negative connotation.

Elder Futhark

Fehu (F: Domestic cattle, wealth.) Possessions won or earned, earned income, luck. Abundance, financial strength in the present or near future. Sign of hope and plenty, success and happiness. Social success. Energy, foresight, fertility, creation/destruction (becoming). Fehu Reversed or Merkstave: Loss of personal property, esteem, or something that you put in effort to keep. It indicates some sort of failure. Greed, burnout, atrophy, discord. Cowardice, stupidity, dullness, poverty, slavery, bondage.

Uruz: (U: Auroch, a wild ox.) Physical strength and speed, untamed potential. A time of great energy and health. Freedom, energy, action, courage, strength, tenacity, understanding, wisdom. Sudden or unexpected changes (usually for the better). Sexual desire, masculine potency. The shaping of power and pattern, formulation of the self. Uruz Reversed or Merkstave: Weakness, obsession, misdirected force, domination by others. Sickness, inconsistency, ignorance. Lust, brutality, rashness, callousness, violence.

Thurisaz: (TH: Thorn or a Giant.) Reactive force, directed force of destruction and defense, conflict. Instinctual will, vital eroticism, regenerative catalyst. A tendency toward change. Catharsis, purging, cleansing fire. Male sexuality, fertilization. (Thorr, the Thunder god, was of Giant stock.)Thurisaz Reversed or Merkstave: Danger, defenselessness, compulsion, betrayal, dullness. Evil, malice, hatred, torment, spite, lies. A bad man or woman. Rape?

Ansuz: (A: The As, ancestral god, i.e. Odin.) A revealing message or insight, communication. Signals, inspiration, enthusiasm, speech, true vision, power of words and naming. Blessings, the taking of advice. Good health, harmony, truth, wisdom. Ansuz Reversed or Merkstave: Misunderstanding, delusion, manipulation by others, boredom. Vanity and grandiloquence. (Odin is a mighty, but duplicitous god. He always has his own agenda.)

Raidho: (R: Wagon or chariot.) Travel, both in physical terms and those of lifestyle direction. A journey, vacation, relocation, evolution, change of place or setting. Seeing a larger perspective. Seeing the right move for you to make and deciding upon it. Personal rhythm, world rhythm, dance of life. Raidho Reversed or Merkstave: Crisis, rigidity, stasis, injustice, irrationality. Disruption, dislocation, demotion, delusion, possibly a death.

Kenaz: (K: Beacon or torch.) Vision, revelation, knowledge, creativity, inspiration, technical ability. Vital fire of life, harnessed power, fire of transformation and regeneration. Power to create your own reality, the power of light. Open to new strength, energy, and power now. Passion, sexual love. Kenaz Reversed or Merkstave: Disease, breakup, instability, lack of creativity. Nakedness, exposure, loss of illusion and false hope.

Gebo: (G: Gift.) Gifts, both in the sense of sacrifice and of generosity, indicating balance. All matters in relation to exchanges, including contracts, personal relationships and partnerships. Gebo Merkstave (Gebo cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Greed, loneliness, dependence, over-sacrifice. Obligation, toll, privation, bribery.

Wunjo: (W or V: Joy.) Joy, comfort, pleasure. Fellowship, harmony, prosperity. Ecstasy, glory, spiritual reward, but also the possibility of going “over the top”. If restrained, the meaning is general success and recognition of worth. Wunjo Reversed or Merkstave: Stultification, sorrow, strife, alienation. Delirium, intoxication, possession by higher forces, impractical enthusiasm. Raging frenzy, berzerker.

Hagalaz: (H: Hail.) Wrath of nature, destructive, uncontrolled forces, especially the weather, or within the unconscious. Tempering, testing, trial. Controlled crisis, leading to completion, inner harmony. Hagalaz Merkstave (Hagalaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Natural disaster, catastrophe. Stagnation, loss of power. Pain, loss, suffering, hardship, sickness, crisis.

Nauthiz: (N: Need.) Delays, restriction. Resistance leading to strength, innovation, need-fire (self-reliance). Distress, confusion, conflict, and the power of will to overcome them. Endurance, survival, determination. A time to exercise patience. Recognition of one’s fate. Major self-initiated change. Face your fears. Nauthiz Reversed or Merkstave: Constraint of freedom, distress, toil, drudgery, laxity. Necessity, extremity, want, deprivation, starvation, need, poverty, emotional hunger.

Isa: (I: Ice.) A challenge or frustration. Psychological blocks to thought or activity, including grievances. Standstill, or a time to turn inward and wait for what is to come, or to seek clarity. This rune reinforces runes around it. Isa Merkstave (Isa cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Ego-mania, dullness, blindness, dissipation. Treachery, illusion, deceit, betrayal, guile, stealth, ambush, plots.

Jera: (J or Y: A year, a good harvest.) The results of earlier efforts are realized. A time of peace and happiness, fruitful season. It can break through stagnancy. Hopes and expectations of peace and prosperity. The promise of success earned. Life cycle, cyclical pattern of the universe. Everything changes, in its own time. Jera Merkstave (Jera cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Sudden setback, reversals. A major change, repetition, bad timing, poverty, conflict.

Eihwaz: (EI: Yew tree.) Strength, reliability, dependability, trustworthiness. Enlightenment, endurance. Defense, protection. The driving force to acquire, providing motivation and a sense of purpose. Indicates that you have set your sights on a reasonable target and can achieve your goals. An honest man who can be relied upon. Eihwaz Reversed or Merkstave: Confusion, destruction, dissatisfaction, weakness.

Perthro: (P: Lot cup, vagina.) Uncertain meaning, a secret matter, a mystery, hidden things and occult abilities. Initiation, knowledge of one’s destiny, knowledge of future matters, determining the future or your path. Pertaining to things feminine, feminine mysteries including female fertility, and vagina. Good lot, fellowship and joy. Evolutionary change. Perthro Reversed or Merkstave: Addiction, stagnation, loneliness, malaise.

Algiz: (Z or -R: Elk, protection.) Protection, a shield. The protective urge to shelter oneself or others. Defense, warding off of evil, shield, guardian. Connection with the gods, awakening, higher life. It can be used to channel energies appropriately. Follow your instincts. Keep hold of success or maintain a position won or earned. Algiz Reversed: or Merkstave: Hidden danger, consumption by divine forces, loss of divine link. Taboo, warning, turning away, that which repels.

Sowilo: (S: The sun.) Success, goals achieved, honor. The life-force, health. A time when power will be available to you for positive changes in your life, victory, health, and success. Contact between the higher self and the unconscious. Wholeness, power, elemental force, sword of flame, cleansing fire. Sowilo Merkstave (Sowilo cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): False goals, bad counsel, false success, gullibility, loss of goals. Destruction, retribution, justice, casting down of vanity. Wrath of god.

Tiwaz: (T: Tyr, the sky god.) Honor, justice, leadership and authority. Analysis, rationality. Knowing where one’s true strengths lie. Willingness to self-sacrifice. Victory and success in any competition or in legal matters. Tiwaz Reversed or Merkstave: One’s energy and creative flow are blocked. Mental paralysis, over-analysis, over-sacrifice, injustice, imbalance. Strife, war, conflict, failure in competition. Dwindling passion, difficulties in communication, and possibly separation.

Berkano: (B: Berchta, the birch-goddess.) Birth, general fertility, both mental and physical and personal growth, liberation. Regenerative power and light of spring, renewal, promise of new beginnings, new growth. Arousal of desire. A love affair or new birth. The prospering of an enterprise or venture. Berkano Reversed or Merkstave: Family problems and or domestic troubles. Anxiety about someone close to you. Carelessness, abandon, loss of control. Blurring of consciousness, deceit, sterility, stagnation.

Ehwaz: (E: Horse, two horses.) Transportation. May represent a horse, car, plane, boat or other vehicle. Movement and change for the better. Gradual development and steady progress are indicated. Harmony, teamwork, trust, loyalty. An ideal marriage or partnership. Confirmation beyond doubt the meanings of the runes around it. Ehwaz Reversed or Merkstave: This is not really a negative rune. A change is perhaps craved. Feeling restless or confined in a situation. Reckless haste, disharmony, mistrust, betrayal.

Mannaz: (M: Man, mankind.) The Self; the individual or the human race. Your attitude toward others and their attitudes towards you. Friends and enemies, social order. Intelligence, forethought, create, skill, ability. Divine structure, intelligence, awareness. Expect to receive some sort of aid or cooperation now. Mannaz Reversed or Merkstave: Depression, mortality, blindness, self-delusion. Cunning, slyness, manipulation, craftiness, calculation. Expect no help now.

Laguz: (L: Water, or a leek.) Flow, water, sea, a fertility source, the healing power of renewal. Life energy and organic growth. Imagination and psychic matters. Dreams, fantasies, mysteries, the unknown, the hidden, the deep, the underworld. Success in travel or acquisition, but with the possibility of loss. Laguz Reversed or Merkstave: An indication of a period of confusion in your life. You may be making wrong decisions and poor judgements. Lack of creativity and feelings of being in a rut. Fear, circular motion, avoidance, withering. Madness, obsession, despair, perversity, sickness, suicide.

Ingwaz: (NG: Ing, the earth god.) Male fertility, gestation, internal growth. Common virtues, common sense, simple strengths, family love, caring, human warmth, the home. Rest stage, a time of relief, of no anxiety. A time when all loose strings are tied and you are free to move in a new direction. Listen to yourself. Ingwaz Merkstave (Ingwaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): Impotence, movement without change. Production, toil, labor, work.

Dagaz: (D: Day or dawn.) Breakthrough, awakening, awareness. Daylight clarity as opposed to nighttime uncertainty. A time to plan or embark upon an enterprise. The power of change directed by your own will, transformation. Hope/happiness, the ideal. Security and certainty. Growth and release. Balance point, the place where opposites meet. Dagaz Merkstave (Dagaz cannot be reversed, but may lie in opposition): A completion, ending, limit, coming full circle. Blindness, hopelessness.

Othala: (O: Ancestral property.) Inherited property or possessions, a house, a home. What is truly important to one. Group order, group prosperity. Land of birth, spiritual heritage, experience and fundamental values. Aid in spiritual and physical journeys. Source of safety, increase and abundance. Othala Reversed or Merkstave: Lack of customary order, totalitarianism, slavery, poverty, homelessness. Bad karma, prejudice, clannishness, provincialism. What a man is bound to.

Blank Rune: There is no historical support for a “Blank Rune” in runic divination. It was invented in the 1980’s. It should not be used in a rune casting. If you bought a rune set with a blank piece, save it in case you lose another rune piece, but don’t use it in rune casting.

[christophergill8]

7 tax record keeping FAQ

Tax season is over for another year. Now all that's left cleaning up after the filing crunch.

I know many of y'all are tempted to simply toss everything in the trash. Don't.

You don't have to the tax version of television's Hoarders, but there are some tax-related documents you need to hang onto, at least for a while.

These 7 frequently asked questions and answers can help you get a better handle on your tax record keeping.

1. Why should I keep records? Well-organized records make it easier to prepare your tax return. Documentation, both the amount and in good order, also can help you provide answers if the Internal Revenue Service has any questions about your return.

2. What kinds of records should I keep? The quick answer is everything, but again, we're trying not to be too obsessive-compulsive. So let's break it down into key material in specific categories.

It is an income tax, so to verify your earnings you need to keep copies of W-2 forms, all types of 1099 forms (MISC, DIV, INT, G and R), gambling and prize winnings not reported on a 1099, bank statements, brokerage statements and K-1 forms.

If you're getting retirement money, hang onto the official statements detailing retirement distributions. This will help you and the IRS know how much, if any, of a cut due the federal government. In addition, Form 5498, Roth and traditional IRA contributions, and Form 8606, nondeductible IRA contributions, can help you differentiate taxable and nontaxable retirement money.

When it comes to expenses and deductions, hang onto receipts, sales slips, invoices, canceled checks, credit card statements, gambling losses and written statements from charities.

Your home is likely your biggest investment, so keep all your residential records, not just those related to your taxes. These include closing statements, purchase and sales invoices, proof of payment, insurance records, property tax assessments and payments, receipts and documents related to disaster losses and receipts for improvement costs. These could affect not only your annual filings, but also any potential tax bill when you sell.

The same is true for investment documentation. Hold your transaction data, including individual purchase or sale receipts as well as annual statements.

In some cases, photos also are helpful, such as when you claim property losses after going through a disaster.

And, of course, you'll want to keep a copy of each year's tax return that you file. This includes not just the 1040 itself, but also any associated schedules that sent to the IRS that year. You'll be glad you have them at your fingertips when you apply for a loan or other financial assistance, such as college money.

3. How long should I keep records? This is the question that flummoxes pack rats and well-adjusted taxpayers alike. As is the case with most tax questions, the answer is "it depends."

Generally, you must keep your tax records as long as they may be needed to prove the income or deductions you entered on a tax return. But the length of time you should keep certain tax documents is based on the action, expense or event the documents record.

The IRS also has a statute of limitations framework it follows.

For basic annual return filing, the tax man has three years to review your return.

When IRS examiners believe you've shorted your income entry on a return by 25 percent or more, they can come asking questions up to six years later.

The period of limitations goes to seven years if you file a claim for a loss from worthless securities.

When it comes to real property, keep relevant records until the period of limitations expires for the year in which you dispose of the property. These records help figure your basis for computing gain or loss when you sell or otherwise dispose of the property.

Then there's fraud.

When Uncle Sam suspects you've intentionally tried to escape your rightful tax liability, his tax collecting agents get a lot of leeway. A whole lot. Like forever.

There is no statute of limitations for folks who commit tax fraud. IRS agents can investigate you at any time it suspects you entered illegal information on your return. So if you tend to be a bit aggressive with your Form 1040 entries, keep your records for those claims in perpetuity. Just in case.

There's also no limitation on the time the IRS can ask you questions if you don't file a tax return. That's why you should keep documentation of why you didn't file a return in a particular year or two or more.

Don't freak out. It's not as difficult as trying to prove a negative. Say, for example, you spent a year taking care of sick relative and didn't earn any or enough income to require that you file. Proof of how you spent your non-income-producing time will short-circuit a detailed IRS examination of your missing tax year.

And about those copies of the 1040s you filed, hang onto those forever, too. You never know when an old tax return might be necessary or at least handy. They also can be a fun time capsule. When I'm feeling nostalgic, I go back and peruse the first joint tax return the hubby and I ever sent the IRS.

4. How do I fill in tax record gaps?  When you start getting your records in order, either in real paper form or electronically, you might discover you're missing some documentation.

The IRS can help you fill in the gaps. You can order transcripts of your filing history.

You have two options.

Complete Form 4506-T or Form 4506T-EZ to order a tax return transcript. This document shows most line items on your return as it was originally filed, plus information on any accompanying forms and schedules. It will cost you $50 for each tax return transcript you need.

Or request a tax account transcript. This shows your return's basic data, including marital status, type of return filed, adjusted gross income, taxable income, payments and adjustments made on your account. An account transcript is free and it arrives in about 10 days.

You can request either a tax return or tax account transcript online from the IRS.

5. What kind of record keeping system should I use?  Except in a few cases, which generally are related to business operation, the law doesn't require you to use any special kind of record keeping system. You may choose any method as long as it clearly shows your income and expenses.

If you're happy still using paper documentation and have the space, fill up as many filing cabinets with tax records as you need.

Or you can maintain your records on a flash drive or in the cloud. The IRS has been accepting digital records for 22 years. Back in 1997, the IRS referenced optical disks as the storage option, but as Uncle Sam has gotten more tech savvy, it recognizes today's wide variety of options.

All the IRS requires is that your electronic record storage meet the same standards as apply to hard copy books and records. That means when you replace the paper versions, you must maintain the electronic storage systems for as long as they might be needed under the tax statutes of limitation.  

You also want the records' format to be one that makes it easy for you to produce the material if the IRS asks.

And be sure you back up your electronic tax records and keep a separate copy in a safe place in case something happens to the original.

6. What is the burden of proof during an audit? Let's be real here. The main reason you hang onto your tax records is in case you're ever audited.

And here's the really disconcerting part of such an encounter. Unlike the U.S. legal system, where you're presumed innocent until proved guilty, it's the opposite when you're facing the federal tax collector.

During an audit, you are considered tax guilty until proven otherwise.

The burden of proving your tax innocence, or at least showing that the information on your Form 1040 is correct, falls squarely on you.

Good thorough and well-organized tax records can help you do that.

7. When I do discard tax records, what's the best way?   OK, you've sorted through all your documents and have decided which ones you need to keep, at least for now, and which you can toss.

Let me repeat what I said at the start of this post. Don't just toss them into the nearest trash can.

Most tax-related documents are full of personally identifying information. That's exactly what identity thieves want. If someone digs through your garbage and finds your Social Security number or bank account of credit card numbers, they've got what they need to take over your life in the most destructive of ways.

True, literal dumpster diving for financial data isn't that common as it once was. But don't take any chances.

Shredding the documents is still the best route here. It is time-consuming, so consider hanging onto to your tax and personal records until a bulk shredding option arrives. Many office supply stores periodically hold these events, often around the end of tax time, allowing you to bring in your documents to be securely scrapped for free.

If you keep your records digitally, make sure they also are properly destroyed. You can find more on various options for erasing electronic records options in this article from the Records Management Assistance unit of the State and Local Records Management division of the Texas State Library and Archives Commission (there's a mouthful for you!).

The bottom line is that you need to keep some records connected to your taxes. Some you need to keep forever.

Knowing which documents, why they are important and how long you need to keep them can, at the very least, help you establish a manageable record keeping system.

You also might find these items of interest:

Save space and trees: Digitize your tax records

The importance of good, and separate, business records

Reconstructing tax & other records after a natural disaster

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from Tax News By Christopher https://www.dontmesswithtaxes.com/2019/04/tax-record-keeping-questions-and-answers.html