#also i plan to return in a week or two so bE PREPARED PEOPLE ))

[alolan-weavile]

oooooh i am deeply unhappy actually

[uranometrias]

✮ꜜ : ❛ long time coming : aaron hotchner x fem! reader

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader

summary: after getting hurt out in the field, you're on leave for a month. coming back felt long overdue, that is until your plans with the team lead you to a situation that feels a bit too close for comfort after such a traumatic time. what's worse, your feelings you've harbored for your boss have no choice but to come to light when he makes the odd choice to address you as 'agent' rather than your name after one month of being apart, and years and years of back and forth will-they-wont-they.

content warnings: making out. allusions to sexual assault + r4pe (but only in the context of the case). reader has slight signs of PTSD. anxiety/panic attacks. reader runs into a few pushy men while out at the club. drinking / drunk confessions. reader has a crush on her boss, it is also implied that reader finds derek attractive, and he reciprocates these feelings. hotch is very good at calming reader down. no usage of y/n. reader is described as having shoulder length hair (can be read as a wig/weave) angry/disappointed hotch! reader has been hiding her anxiety / nightmares / memory issues from the team. mentions of vomiting. kissing. mentions of elle & the events of the fisher king. no distinct timeline, but can be read as s7 with the iconic team (hotch, emily, derek, jj, penelope, rossi, & spencer)

"Okay, I didn't know we were going all out. I would've prepared better." you smile shyly as Jennifer pulls you into a tight hug. When Penelope had called you early that morning with an excited decree that you'd been cleared to return to work you hadn't been sure how to feel. You hadn't bothered to ask how Garcia of all people was privy to information you hadn't received from your bosses yet, there was no getting a straight answer when it came to the Technical Analyst.

It had been her idea for the entire team to get together. You'd been out of the office for a full month, and in that time you'd tried your hand at maintaining your bonds with the rest of the group. It of course wasn't the same, but you knew that you'd needed the time. The last time you'd joined them on a case things had gone horribly wrong. You shudder at the thought, you had been doing so good at forgetting about it all, but seeing them again made it all come back.

The unsub had been your run-of-the-mill anger excitation rapist, a creep that had been using an elaborate ruse to entice and entrap women. It had been Emily's idea for the two of you to go undercover, the unsub had been killing two women every week, women who in many ways were polar opposites of one another, a trait that you and Emily shared. Long story short, in the midst of your plan to lure and trap the Unsub, you'd been separated from Emily and cornered.

You’d been carted off by the creep who kept you stuck for three hours before the team used his mistake to find you. By then though, the damage had been done. You remember the look on Rossi's face when he and Hotch came busting in, and found you looking bruised up with a bloody face, and a gun barrel to the side of your head. You'd never seen Hotch quite as scared, at least not since everything with Foyet nearly three years ago when he lost Haley and almost Jack.

You'd been too out-of-sorts to hear the way they'd tried to reason with the Unsub. And you hadn't realized your abdomen was losing blood until a gunshot rang out, bullets whizzing past your head as the unsub curled into himself before falling to the ground. You didn't know much, you thought maybe your eardrums had exploded with the way they were ringing, and you'd half expected to smack your head against the ground and end up with an annoying concussion.

Instead, you'd been met with the sight of your boss. He'd yelled something you weren't privy to, mouth moving as he seemingly forced the rest of the team out of their stupor long enough to get a medic inside to look you over. It was like you said, the details were fuzzy, but nothing had managed to wipe Hotch's worried expression as he fussed over your safety, out of your mind. However, if you were honest with yourself for one measly second, that was nothing new.

Nothing seemed to fill up your mind the way your boss did, and it was stupid, and deplorable all things considered. But it's not like it had even been something you'd asked for. It just happened one day. You shake these thoughts of your near paralyzing emotions away, pulling yourself back to the present as you took in JJ, who despite her perceived candor looked great. "Oh come on Jaige." you huff, and you appraise her more openly. "You look amazing, as usual."

She grins, albeit shyly, and she's waiting, maybe for your approval maybe for something else. She's trying to be discreet as she sweeps your for obvious reminders of what happened, and you feel nervous. Most of your injuries had healed up well enough, and the scratches that littered your face had been covered in a smattering of makeup. You felt comfortable in your pretty girl cocoon, all done up with a bright smile on your face that was surprisingly believable.

"Can I hug you?" she asks, and you can tell she's been holding it in, waiting to ask. You nod your head, a quiet chuckle escaping you as the blonde seems to scoop you into her arms. She's careful not to squeeze too tight, but the love is felt all the same. "God, it's been so weird without you around." she hums, and while the rest of the team is already huddled inside, probably in a booth Penelope picked, you're so happy she's the one here telling you this now.

"Now you know how we all felt when they sent you to the Pentagon." you whisper back, and you hear her bemused giggle as she steps back, and she takes you in again. Your red minidress was a stark contrast to the usual business-casual attire you wore everyday to work. Your hair was curled, pinned back with a gold claw clip, hair just barely ghosting over the divots of your collarbones. You'd opted for a shorter do' following everything with the unsub.

"Never leave us again." she pleads, and you feel this warmth blossoming in your chest at the way she's staring at you, almost like she really means it. You'd joined the team back when Elle and Gideon had still been around. At one point you'd been the rookie, the new girl nobody knew what to expect from. JJ had been right there beside you, even back then. She had been sweet, assertive, your first real friend on the team. She'd welcomed you before anyone else.

In time of course, things had changed, JJ had a husband, kids, a hoard of other units that were plotting on her skills at all times, but she was still JJ. Still that same first friend that helped you to see the Behavioral Analysis Unit was the only place for you. "I'll do my best." you promise, and she grins. She links arms with you before you both head inside the bar. There was music playing, some alternative indie song that wasn't half bad.

"Here's the girl of the hour now." Emily exclaims, and it's clear they've already started tossing back shots. JJ's head is instantly shaking in mortification. So it was going to be one of those nights. Penelope meets you both, pulling JJ from your arms and leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek sweetly, before she's turning to you. She's got tears already brimming in her eyes, and you can't help but giggle at the dramatics of it all.

"I'm so happy to see you." she squeals, and you find yourself hugging back despite the sting of your abdomen. "You look so beautiful." she adds a second afterwards. "What are you looking to get lucky?" she asks, as she uses her hands to push you away slightly, hands resting gently on both of your shoulders. You feel your face growing hot at the implication, and you see the way she's looking at your facial expressions for a signal of your lies. Curse her proximity to profilers.

"I just wanted to look nice." you reply and Penelope lets you off the hook. She leads you to the table, and you're just in time to hear the group finish up their hellos to JJ. She's sitting next to Morgan, who's bright-eyed as he looks up at you. You find yourself fussing with your hair, playing it cool as you press your lips together, re-smearing your lipstick as you waved your hand.

You weren't sure why you felt like the new kid all over again.

"It's good to see you, pretty girl." he croons, and you grin. Morgan was flirty, had been since you met him, and if you weren't so disastrously into Hotch, you think he'd be all on your mind. Well, you know... more than he was. There had been times where you'd been partnered together, and it almost felt like the tension was going to cut you in half. Sexual tension aside though, Derek was your friend.

They all were, and despite what your mind tried to tell you as you sobbed yourself through nightmares during your break from work, they were genuinely happy to see you. "I'm glad you're okay." your eyes flit over to the youngest member of the team. Spence is looking relieved as he too looks up at you with eyes full of relief. He's next to Emily, and she's already downing another drink. She'd be complaining about a migraine the next day, you could hear her now.

"Thanks, Spence." you coo, and you offer him a wink as your eyes fall on the only present member of the team that hadn't addressed you. Rossi had made a point to send his hellos, but due to a previous standing appointment, he wouldn't be joining tonight. You couldn't hold it against him, Rossi was scoping the prairie for wife number four. He offers you a faint smile, the group instantly falling into chatter.

"H-Hey Hotch." you mumble, and he's closest to you, sitting on the outside of the booth as the rest of the team tried their hardest to pretend they weren't expecting this. He doesn't say anything for a moment, instead he takes you in. He wasn't blind, he'd seen you before, you'd always been beautiful, but there was something about you done up like this. Red dress, red lip, bold makeup, and heels that showed off your legs, and accented your model-esque posture.

It was obvious that you were still a bit nervous about being out and about, and you were out of practice with being around the team. He imagined after a bit though you'd be back to yourself. You, and the rest of the girls would be falling into a rhythm in no time. He stands to his feet, much taller than you, as you take a small step back to give him space. "It's good to see you up and about, Agent." and his voice is low, clearly as a courtesy to the bustling of conversation behind you.

"Agent?" you repeat, and the word is so foreign. It makes you take another step back, the bottoms of your Louboutin's clacking against the ground. You looked a bit hurt, but you played it off quickly. "Come on, Hotch. I think we're a little past those formalities." you chuckle awkwardly, and you find yourself looking towards the bar. Yeah, you were definitely going to need a drink. He seems to curse under his breath, but you're not sure if that's due to you, or some internal conflict you weren't privy to. You don't wait to figure it out either.

He doesn't have the opportunity to reply to your correction, because you're looking to Emily, JJ, and Garcia. "Wanna get some shots?" you ask, and you sidestep Aaron, making sure you don't look his way again, as the girls immediately exclaim their agreements. Penelope's sliding out of the booth first, Emily and JJ following her example as they head straight towards the bar. JJ's shooting you a knowing glance as she looks between Hotch and yourself.

"You coming boys?" you extend the invite to Derek and Spencer, who are quick to nod along, both men trailing after the others as they head to the counter to order more drinks. You prepare to follow after them, ready for the welcome respite from your mind swimming in circles.

"I didn't mean to offend you." you stop short, spinning on your heel to meet the gaze of your Unit Chief.

"Well you did." you reply, and your voice is small. "I've known you for almost seven years, and here you are treating me like a stranger." you mumble, and you find yourself tugging at your dress. "I mean, I know it's been a while, but geez Hotch, it's still me." you say and he winces. You're not sure what the last month has been like for the others, but you know what they've been like for you. Torturous. It's been Hell.

"I know." he says, and your eyebrow raises, unmoved by his words. "And again, I didn't mean to offend you." he promises, and he clenches and unclenches his fists by his side. "After everything that happened, I guess I just assumed you'd prefer a more professional approach." he mutters, and you scoff quietly. Classic Aaron Hotchner, running away from interpersonal conflict with his tail tucked between his legs. "You don't even seem comfortable with us tonight."

You blink. Okay well he had a point there, but you were trying.

"It's not that I'm not comfortable." you mutter, and you look over your shoulder at the rest of the team. "I guess I just didn't expect to feel so out of place being out and about." you shrug your shoulders bashfully. "Everyone's normal, everything seems the same." you continue, and you notice the way that Hotch's lips have pressed into a hard line. "And it's like no time has passed at all for anyone else, but for me it's like I never moved." you blink, shivering at the thought.

Hotch's eyebrows furrow inwardly as he takes in your words. "I still feel like I'm-" you trail off, feeling a wide lump growing in your throat. "It's like I never left." you course correct, eyes shutting briefly, lashes brushing against your cheekbones. "Like no matter how much time passes, it still feels like I'm there with him and I'm-"

"I understand." he cuts you off, you think maybe to salvage your pride or to keep you from having a panic attack at the thought. "And you're certain you're ready to come back to work? You know you can take all the time you need." he reminds you, and you are immediately nodding your head as you wave a tired hand his way.

"I can't stay cooped up in my house anymore." you mumble. "It's becoming counterproductive." you huff. "I'm ready." you add a second later. "Apart from this awkwardness, I'm also perfectly fine." and it's a lie, you'd been having nightmares every night. Restless, sleepless evenings full of dread, and jump scares of your own creation. "I mean, I'm here aren't I?" you offer a tight smile as you reach out and tap Hotch's shoulders twice, a tense little conversation ender.

You don't want to stay huddled up with him anymore, not while he was looking at you like he was trying to see into your soul. You turn on your heel, dress swishing side to side as you head for the group. You find yourself in between Emily and Penelope, the blonde to your left immediately sliding a drink in front of you. You down it in a second, the intense burn as the alcohol rested in your chest was a welcome reprieve from the anguish and anxiety you'd been feeling.

You forget about Hotch, and all your heavy feelings by the time you're on your third drink. Your heels feel much too heavy under your feet as you stumble into Emily, the brunette chuckling vibrantly as you hang off each other, the music playing overhead lulling you into a false sense of security. It was nice being like this again after so long, laughing at the dramatic banter between Derek and Penelope. You wondered if they'd remain purely platonic forever.

Trading gossip back and forth with Emily and JJ was always a treat, especially as Spencer tried to keep up with eyes wide as saucers while Emily finally cracked the secrets of her coveted Sin-To-Win weekends. You weren't sure what was funnier, the peeks into Emily's life outside the unit, or the horrified looks that crossed Spence's face with every new tidbit of knowledge he learned about his coworkers. You found your eyes flickering over to Hotch again.

He was stoic as ever, but looser than he would be in the office. He seemed to enjoy being a quiet observer much more than he preferred to be in the mix. He leisurely swirled his glass of scotch, and you felt that familiar buzz of warmth in your chest when you managed to catch him smiling as he quietly passed conversation back and forth with a newly drunk Penelope, and Derek, who looked exasperated.

"Are you just gonna stare at him all night?" you jump a bit, turning to face Emily with surprise swirling in your irises. "If you keep it up, he's gonna catch you." she adds a second afterwards and you tense, head nodding as you scold yourself. You peel away from the bar, drink clutched in your hand. You had to get away from the bar for a second, maybe the cluttered dance floor would be the best distraction.

"Sorry." you mutter, and Emily offers a airy laugh. "He's just usually so serious." you lean into Emily, who nods along. She'd met Hotch after you, but still she'd managed to become so close to him it was almost surreal. She seemed to always know what he was thinking, they were in sync. Unlike you, who seemed to always be on the other end of a hard stare from the man. For a while you just began to assume he hated your guts. Or better put, he was indifferent to your existence.

That was why his look, that look he'd given you as he cradled your head while he waited for backup had been burned into your skull. All that went out of the window the second he'd labeled you 'Agent' though. God, how stupid were you? Emily's amusement makes your eyes roll. "Can I be honest?" she asks, and you nod. Penelope and JJ have migrated to the dance floor, JJ grabbing the good doctor and bringing him along with them. He looks incredibly uncomfortable.

"Sure, Em. If you think it will help." you reply audibly.

"I haven't seen him this relaxed since everything went down." she admits, and you're surprised. As if somehow your presence had been enough to set the stone-serious man at ease. "The first few days after your accident he was a mess." she adds, and she's got a surprising about of stability to her tone to be as inebriated as she was. She lowers her voice some as she leans into you, "He showed up late." she mutters this like it's some sworn secret just meant for the both of you.

"I'm sure Strauss was just riding him about another mishap in the unit." you try, and Emily looks unconvinced and unimpressed with you. "He's our boss, it's kind of his job to worry about us." you finish.

"Yeah, I guess so." Emily concedes, and she looks like she's done talking about it, so you find yourself relaxing. "Still. I've never seen him go that hard against an unsub, maybe you're not the only person that's feeling something." she leaves you with that, trying to keep from tipping as she marched towards the group. You chuckle quietly to yourself, ignoring Emily's words as you focus on finishing your drink. It seemed you'd inadvertently been trying to be alone all along.

You felt some of the tension melt from your shoulders now that you were standing at the bar, away from those prying eyes you couldn't lie to. There's this sound of heavy footsteps, and then the clearing of a throat, as you turn to be met with the sight of a man. He looked to be about your age, cheeks and nose covered in a little smattering of freckles. He's got a head full of shaggy hair that hangs in his face. He takes a quick step, sliding up against the bar beside you.

Way too close.

"Hey." he mumbles, and you appraise him boredly. It's not like he was ugly or anything, but despite Penelope's words you were not looking to get lucky tonight.

"Hi." you offer a dry greeting, shuffling your weight from one foot to the other as the bar seemingly became a beacon for thirsty men. Just as you were politely stepping away from the freckled man, you found yourself bumping into another man who'd slithered up to the bar, your ass pressing against his crotch as his hands wound around your waist. A sleazy chuckle escapes the man's mouth as you gasp. "I'm so sorry." you exclaim, and you're quick to peel away.

You feel trapped though, there were at least four guys, they all seemed to be friends, they all seemed to be in kahoots.

There's a third and fourth man joining the fray, they all looked to be about the same age, height, and weight class. This was probably their routine: approach and overwhelm whatever drunk girl they might have happened upon. It looked like you were tonight's target. "Hey, what's the rush?" the guy closest to you drawls, and you wonder where all your years of training have gone. His arm raises, and it feels like he might hit you so you flinch way too violently.

"Stick around, we'll order the next round." the next demands, and his breath smells like booze. It stinks, and it's hot as it puffs across your face. You almost break your heels backing away from them, suddenly feeling self conscious a`nd way too vulnerable in your short dress.

"No, it's alright, really." you try, and you stumble again. "My friends are right over there." and you point in their general vicinity. "Have a great night though." you offer politely, and you're trying to make your grand escape. One guy, a shaggy blonde haired man is quick to grab you by your forearm, and it's like you're back to that day. Your bureau appointed therapist had been talking to you about your anxiety, how a range of things could become triggers and transport you mentally.

"That wasn't a question. Stay a while." You're stuck, absolutely frozen in place as your entire body tenses up. Some Special Agent you were, the bureau would be so disappointed in you. Your team would be so disappointed in you. All it took to turn you into a pile of nothing was a bit of confrontation. You could remember a stronger version of you, that girl would've had these men on their knees for even thinking of laying hands on you. God, you missed that girl.

His grip on your arm tightens, fingers digging into you harshly as you find yourself surrounded on every side.

"L-Let me go." you huff under your breath, and you crane your neck. You spot JJ, the blonde's eyes locked on yours as the reality of what's going on forces her to sober up. "I just-" and you jerk away, stumbling back completely. You're surprised you don't scream as your glass drops to the ground shattering as glass sprays in every which direction. You feel like your ankle's twisted as you fall back on your ass. You expect to feel the embarrassing thud that came with smacking your ass on the hard floor of a bar, but it never comes.

Instead you feel cocooned by a familiar scent. Strong arms are looped around you, but you suppose your lack of disgust at the action is just a testament of your comfortability. "Are you alright?" it's mumbled against your ear, and the low tone of his voice makes you shiver. All you can really offer is a tight nod as Aaron's guiding you behind him. You don't get to see Hotch in action, not when JJ, Penelope, and Emily are flocking you like Charlie's Angels.

You feel the first signs of the need to barf pricking at you, and you know that you need to get some air. You needed to breathe.

"God, are you okay?" Penelope asks, and you're not sure if you are being dramatic. I mean, it wasn't like they'd done anything really. Now you were gonna look like the freak that ruined a fun night.

"I'm sorry." you chirp, and you miss the way Jennifer and Emily share a hard glance. It's not until you're feeling brisk air whipping around your face that you realize they've taken you outside, and you haven't stopped apologizing. I'm so sorry. Penelope's got wide eyes, quickly brimming with tears as you find yourself crumbling to the ground. Your hand's quick to clutch around your chest as you try to inhale. The dramatics of it all made you even more nauseous.

You should've stayed at home.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Emily's cooing, and it seems being out like this has sliced through her tipsy stupor. She's focused just like she would be on any regular sort of day. "I need you to breathe." she instructs, and JJ's crouching down in front of you, brown eyebrows draw inwardly as she takes in your clearly frantic state. Every puff of air that escapes you is tight and sounds like it hurts. You can just barely hear the sound of a commotion taking place inside.

You do hear JJ's quiet exclamation of "I'll stay with her, go check on Hotch and Derek!" before Penelope and Emily are heading back into the packed building. She calls your name, and it takes a while for you to regain your voice. She's devoid of pity, which you appreciate. JJ knew more than anyone how much you hated being seen as a burden, or someone to be sorry for. Pride was a killer. "Can you try and take a deep breath for me?" and it's then you realize your choppy little intakes of air weren't doing you any favors.

It takes a great deal of effort for your vision to be less blurry. Your ears were full of cotton, and your head was swimming. You feel bile again in the back of your throat, and you jerk away from JJ's reach. You feel like you're suffocating, transported away from the random bar in the middle of Virginia, and back to a place you'd fought so hard to escape. You were certain you'd remember that unsub forever. His evil eyes, the way he tried to use your entrails like paint.

You remember how Elle had changed after she'd been attacked by Garner. How she had changed so much that she had no choice but to step away from the Unit. Would that be your life? You didn't want that life, but it was clear you needed something, you needed help. You couldn't focus on anything else, but what had happened. You'd ruined a night out because the act of being cornered was enough to transport you back.

JJ's still peering at you as if she's waiting for you to start panicking, and maybe you were. "I'm sorry." you huff again, and JJ's shaking her head at you.

There's a deep frown etched into her face as she sighs herself. "Stop apologizing." she insists, and your lashes are wet with unshed tears. "You didn't do anything wrong. Those assholes should've never put their hands on you." she proceeds. "You know that don't you?" she continues, and you don't know how to respond, so you don't. JJ reads you like an open book, and she smacks her teeth. "Well now you do." she says this firmly. "And I'm sure Hotch and Morgan are teaching them that lesson right now." you tense up again.

"I didn't mean to ruin the-" JJ's offering you a hard glare that shuts you up. Another bad habit you'd picked up since the incident. You were working on it, trying not to blame yourself for things you didn't cause. "I'm sorry." and this time it's not because of tonight. "I was so nervous about tonight.-" you take in a hiccupped breath. "I just wanted to prove that I could bounce back." you explain, and it's the first insight you've allowed anyone. "I figured if I pretend everything's normal, soon enough it would be, but it's too much." you huff.

"And that's okay." she promises. "What you went through isn't something anyone's expecting you to forget about in a month, alright? It's gonna take time, and there will be days where it'll hurt a lot more, and there will be days where you're feeling like your old self again." she promises. "What you need to understand is that we-" she pauses as you take it in. "are your family." she finishes, and your lips start to twitch, you're not sure if you'll smile or cry.

"I know-" you proceed, and she holds a hand up in front of you.

"Let me finish." she pleads, and you inhale before nodding. "I don't- none of us want a repeat of what happened with Elle." she says quietly. "None of us want to show up to the unit one day and see your badge and gun sitting on your desk." JJ sighs. "So if you ever start feeling anxious, or terrible, or just like you're back... there." and you wince at the mention. "I want you to call me, call one of us. Don't deal with this alone, alright? Not when you don't have to."

JJ hugs you before you have time to respond, but her words sink deep and make you feel warm inside. "Thanks, Jaige." you mumble against her hair. She squeezes you tighter, and you believe it's to make up for her shyer hug earlier.

"You're welcome." she mumbles back, and then she's pulling back. You don't have much respite, Penelope practically tackling you in a hug of her own. You hadn't even realized the rest of the team has left the bar, you were sure the mood of the night was much lower.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Penelope exhales, and you do too, breathing fine again, save for a few hiccups that escaped you every so often. She lets you go after a beat, and you're quick to take a small step back, suddenly feeling anxious once more.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." your eyes meet Derek and Emily's. "Thank you." and you're chuckling quietly as Derek pulls you into his side. He plants a kiss on the top of your head, and you warm inwardly. Spencer does hug you, and it's a shock. One of those hugs that you never take for granted, because it could be a while before you get another. Once he's pulled away you find yourself still hovering, listening quietly as they all decide the night's not over.

You respectfully bow out, you'd had enough for one day. It's then you notice that Hotch is all by himself. You quietly excuse yourself, but you find that they're not really listening now that you were safer. "Are you alright?" you ask, and your voice is very quiet. Hotch looks up from his phone as if he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. You take in his face, and it's clear he's been in some sort of scuffle. Most notable due to the fact he's got blood smeared under his nose.

"I should be asking you that." he retorts, and your eyebrows furrow in.

"Y-You already did." you remind him, eyes darting away. "Why are you over here by yourself?" you shoot off a round of questions, the wind whipping around, and making you crave the comfort of your bed. You maintain a respectful balance, you weren't in any rush to be all up in someone's space.

"I think I've had enough of crowds for the night." he retorts. You don't realize until it's happened though, your hand reaching up to swipe at the blood that's slowly drying on his upper lip.

"Get into a bar fight?" you ask, and you hold your breath for the answer. Hotch looks down at you, and there's this unreadable expression on his face. You realize that this is nothing new. Hotch had never been easy to read, he was one of the greatest profilers you'd ever met, one of the greatest people. But he'd always been an enigma. His emotions were an Alcatraz all on their own.

"You should see the other guy." the classic rebuttal to a question like yours. It doesn't make you smile, mostly because he's not smiling either. "Are you okay?" and he's got you by your wrist, eyes zoned in on the harsh mark the guy from the bar had left behind. "He never should've touched you." his voice lowers, and there's an annoyance attached to his tone. "I'm so sorry." you find yourself huffing.

"You shouldn't have fought him." you say matter-of-factly. Your fists fold up at your sides, your lips pulling down into a frown. "It'll give everyone the wrong idea." you say, and you wrench your hand away from his grasp.

"Everyone?" he repeats, and he looks confused, classic Hotch.

"Me." you correct, "I'll get the wrong idea." you whisper. "I might actually think you like me." you admit quietly.

"We wouldn't want that." he replies, and his tone is far from mocking. You hate that it makes you crack a smile. You hate that he's always the one that manages to get that reaction out of you.

"Hey, are you two coming? We're all heading to Mo's." Emily calls, and you snort at the fact that their alcohol riddled mind had caused them to forget you'd already declined. You take a step away from Hotch, and you hate that you stumble. You were hating a lot of things tonight. Maybe you weren't as sober as you'd thought.

Aaron looks to you as if he's waiting to see your answer before giving his own, and maybe he was. The second you're politely explaining that you're ready to head home, Aaron is offering to drive you. Derek is whistling, Emily and JJ offering you smug little smirks. Penelope is trying to keep herself secured to Earth. "He's gonna take her home." he whispers to no one in particular, and it's a horrid attempt.

"We all heard, babygirl." Derek replies to her, and you find yourself a bit stuck. The thought of spending the eighteen minute car ride with your boss make you want to scream, but you'd taken a cab. Your own car was parked in the driveway of your place. And he doesn't look like he' taking any goodbyes either way. Rounds of goodbye and see you laters are soon offered. "Take care of our girl, Hotch." Derek calls, and you hear Spencer as he starts to rant about Derek's turn-of-phrase.

Our girl. Hotch finds that the words repeat in his head like an obnoxious echo. "Why are you doing this?" you question quietly. "If you're just trying to make up for the whole Agent thing, there's no need." you proceed, and you take a small step back.

"I'm not trying to make up for that." he replies quickly. "But, you're drunk, and you've been through a lot tonight." he reminds you as if you're ditsy or something. "It wouldn't be smart to leave you by yourself." he continues, and he inhales deeply. He watches the way you watch him, like you're unsure, like you're suspicious. "That isn't a testament of whether or not I think you can handle yourself... and neither was fighting that man at the bar." he promises, and you blink.

"No?" you ask, and your tongue feels extra dry. Like you've licked a stripe of sandpaper.

"No." he reaffirms. "You mean a lot to the team. We wouldn't be the same without you." he says this bit like he means it, and you can't find any trace of a lie residing in his face. He does mean it.

"Thank you, Sir." you reply under your breath, exhaling the word. The chill of the night finally gets to you, and you shiver.

"Can I take you home?" he asks, and you know you're reading into it more than you should. You know what he means, what he's really asking, but delusion was healthy every now and again, right?

"Y-Yeah." your head nods, voice wavering slightly as you take hold of the bottom of your dress. "Yes." you say more firmly.

"Okay." you stand there for a few moments more, passing charged glances back and forth. "You never answered my question earlier." is what he says to break the moment. "About how you were doing..." he proceeds. "I've asked you twice, and both times you-"

"Deflected?" you offer, and his head nods. "I guess I'm just scared you'll see right through whatever my answer is." you admit, and you cross your arms, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. "Emily and JJ will at least humor me." you explain. "Penelope won't ask... mostly because she's scared of the answer." you chuckle awkwardly. "Derek and Spence, well I guess they're like you too... but you're here, and they're not... so here we are."

Hotch appraises you for a second, but he doesn't say much else. You're grateful for that, but equal parts annoyed that he wasn't leaping to tell you that you were harder to read than you thought. No such luck. Still, you're surprised when Hotch grabs you by your arm, much gentler than earlier, and he's slowing his stride to be in step with yours. You don't realize you've leaned fully into his side until you feel him tense up. He doesn't say anything though.

A win is a win.

You didn't know much about the inner workings of Aaron Hotchner's mind, but you did know that if he was uncomfortable with your proximity, he would have said so. The walk back to Hotch's car is silent. At least outwardly, inside you were panicking. He opens the passenger side for you, and you imagine a world where this was normal. Where it didn't take you being hit on by sleazy men at a bar to be having these moments with Hotch. But it was impossible.

"Did it hurt?" you ask, once the car is moving. He's adjusted the temperature, a soothing warm pooling from the vents. You're surprised at how quickly he drives, you'd half expected him to be one of those slow as molasses drivers. Hotch looks over at you incredulously, his eyebrows raise, but he doesn't look agitated nor annoyed with you breaking the silence again.

"You'll have to be more specific." he replies, and you hum. You pause for a second, trying to find the right words. At the last second you decide saying it straight would be just as good as anything else.

"Punching that guy?" you ask, and Hotch's lips quirk upwards, he was amused with you. In truth, he had no idea what he was thinking. As soon as the girls had ushered you away, he'd found himself swinging before he could think of the repercussions. All he knew was that you'd sounded scared, you'd sounded unlike yourself in a way that made him angry. Everyone saw how you had changed, the elephant in the room was hard to ignore. But you were trying, he could give you that.

"No." he mumbles, and that likely has a lot to do with the fact that he hasn't come down. He's still on edge, still watching you like you might at any moment start spiraling. "Besides, it was worth it." and he says this a bit under his breath, you hear it all the same. "I doubt he'll try it again." he admits, and you feel liberated. It was nice to have someone fighting for you, fighting the fights you weren't capable of.

"Thanks, Hotch." you hum, and it triggers a yawn.

"Back to Hotch?" he asks, and you look over at him confused. You kick your feet back and forth, careful not to dig your heels into the plush of the car's floor.

"Would you prefer I call you sir?" you ask, and he is tapping on the brake, the car slowly peeling to a stop as you come up on a red light.

"No." he answers sternly. "It's not like you." he admits, and the light is turning green again. He steps lightly on the gas, the car surging forward "Especially if you're only calling me Sir, as payback for me calling you Agent." he says, and even though you had tried your hand at pretending the greeting hadn't bothered you, it was obvious he had read right through you.

"Why'd you do that?" you question and your tone is a lot more clipped than you had intended.

"So it did offend you?" he retorts, and you feel anger flaring up. You swallow this feeling, hands balling up by your side.

"Hotch." you snap, and he smirks fully, eyes back on the road. "Can you be serious, please?" you ask, and you probably sound pitiful.

"The last month I've just been..." he trails off momentarily, and you wonder if he's emotional, or just being dramatic. "I should have known better." he expresses. "I should've been there to make sure that what happened didn't." he says, and you tense up. "He never should have gotten the chance to get close enough to cart you off." he completes his thought, and you're shocked. You never would have guessed Hotch blames himself for what happened to you.

"That wasn't your fault." you promise, and you mean it. You'd never once thought of blaming Hotch for what went down. "You were confident in the plan, you were putting your faith in the team."

"There is a very thin line between confidence and arrogance." He rebuttals instantly. "We got cocky, and you suffered because of it." he looks so destroyed as he says this. "And then you showed up tonight, and tried to pretend everything was fine." he notes as you remain silent. "It just reminded me that we're too close." he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. "The longer you stay in the unit, the more you become numb to the things we see. You start to ignore the signs that you're not alright." he says, and you'd never thought of it that way.

"Hotch..." you exhale.

"I called you Agent to set up a boundary, or at least I tried." he says this like he's beating himself up. "But then I saw the way it hurt you." and he looks ashamed. "And I never want to be someone who does that to you." you're warring with your heart then. "So I wont do it again." he promises, and he looks to you briefly. "I'll call you by your name, I won't deflect." he adds as your mouth drops open just briefly.

"But, it's not right for someone your age to be so closed off. It's not right for you to pretend to be okay just to keep up with the people around you. If you weren't up to being out, you should've stayed home, our opinions don't outweigh your safety." he lectures you. "They never will." he adds a second after, and he's so sure as he says this. He's slowing down, coming up on your place.

Your leg is shaking slightly, that pesky feeling of anxiety creeping back up on you. "We're here." he says under his breath as if you weren't aware. You don't budge, you can't. You have so much to say, but where do you start. Hotch has shut his car off, almost like he too has a lot sitting on the tip of his tongue.

"I just wanted to prove I could handle it." you admit, and you're crying. "I didn't want to be another Gideon or Elle... or Spence." you cringe at the memories. "I didn't want you guys to handle with me with kid gloves. I didn't want you to see me as the girl who needs the kid gloves." you express honestly, and now your tears are falling in quick precession. "I'm sorry..." you swipe at your face. "I don't know why I'm crying, this is so stupid." you hiss at yourself.

"No, it isn't." the response earns him a surprised glance. "It's good... this is good." Hotch is quick to use a hand to swipe at your tears. He hates the sight of them, but loves what they mean. Your heart's still soft, pliable. You haven't fully succumb to the horrors of the job. "Consider this me atoning." he prompts. "You have my ear, say whatever you need to say." he looks over at you again, and seems to mentally backtrack. "If it'll help you." he adds.

You sniffle audibly, hands clenching and unclenching as the car suddenly feels much too hot. "It's not your fault, okay?" you repeat, and you say it with more certainty. "I just need you to know that." you sniffle again, but your tears keep falling, even as you try to blink them away. "Hotch, you're our leader for a reason, and you were there to save me that night, and you were here to save me tonight." you remind him. "I don't want you to pull back, not when I'm finally making some progress with cracking that hard exterior of yours."

Hotch's lips quirk at your words, and he looks down at his lap. "I've never meant to pull back from you." the inflection with the last words sticks. "I thought I was doing right by you... pulling the band aid off before you got in too deep." he says. "But that was wrong of me, I can admit to that. I'm sorry." and his apologies are like kisses. They wash over you, and force you to believe him.

"Don't apologize to me." you plead, "Just promise not to leave me behind, treat me like an outsider again." you continue as his head nods, and you can trust that he's listening.

"I can do that." he promises.

That seems to be the key to unlocking the dam of your emotions. You choke on the feelings, a quiet sob escaping you as you clasp a hand over your mouth. How dramatic, and pathetic, and God awful were all these feelings. But they'd been years in the making, right?

"Are you alright?." he asks under his breath, worry palpable.

"Do you know that the only thing that kept me from losing it that day was you?" you ask, and your boldness won't leave you, clearly it was now or never. "You told me to 'keep breathing'... you said it over and over and over, and I listened." you explain, and he remembers the day too well. "Even though everything hurt like hell, and there was so much blood." you reminisce. "And I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy, but there was this look." you exhale sadly. "This look you had on your face that made me think... 'maybe it's not just me'"

It isn't. He knows that instantly. You've plagued his mind so severely for so long that he can just barely remember a time where you weren't one of the only things he thought about, worried about, cared about. But he had his post to think about, he was the Unit Chief, your boss, your superior. What would the team think? What would Strauss think? Did it matter? In the grand scheme of things, did those worries outweigh his need, his innate desire to see you safe and protected from harm? Absolutely not. So what was the real problem?

"Hotch..." you inhale deeply, voice cracking distractingly as he gives you his full attention. Something you'd dreamed of, wanted more than anything since the first time you'd ever laid eyes on him. "Aaron." you correct, and you breathe again. "I've been thinking of how to say this... i've been rehearsing it over and over again, because I wanted to get it right, and I just knew tonight would be the night I'd have to have the balls to either say it or let it go forever." you admit.

"Say it..." and he's rushing you, but you suppose that's deserved. You were still stalling, dragging this out way more than you needed to.

"I'm in love with you." and it was out there, and you couldn't take it back. You stare him down, worried about his reaction, about how he would respond. "And it took me getting hurt, and being sent home, away from the team for me to realize." you inhale shakily. "I kept having these-these dreams about that night. All these different scenarios about how things could've turned out different, how I could've died had one thing been out of place." you process.

"You're the reason I'm still here, you're the reason why this team can function, and you're the reason why I- why I came tonight even though my anxiety told me it wasn't safe. Because, somehow I knew that as long as you were here... I'd be okay, and I am." you say, and it's a lot, too much maybe. His reaction is hard to read at first, face just as stoic as most times, but his eyes.... his eyes hold the truth. They melt, pools of warm honey dancing in the darkness residing there.

"And it's inappropriate... and wrong... and silly... but- I couldn't go another day without you knowing, without you hearing from me." you explain. "When you came up to the bar tonight I just... I've never felt this way before... lucky, protected, safe.... and-and I'm not asking for anything from you... I'm not expecting something in return, I just wanted to get it out there... I think we both know it's been a long time coming..." and your words are being swallowed as Aaron leans forward. The middle console is a bridge, a roadblock.

It doesn't deter him though, not from using a hand to gently cup your face, mouth slotting against yours as if it belonged there. You're dizzy, shocked, surprised, but you don't let this mess you up. You can't possibly allow anything to mess up this moment. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two... the seconds tick by with neither of you moving to break the kiss, hands and tongues and breaths fanning over one another as you get acquainted in the most perfect way.

Still, life dealt lots, and yours consisted of a need for oxygen. It's the only reason why you break apart with heady gasps, eyes dilated and fogged with emotions much too heavy to really explain. "Oh, you can't do that." you explain, and Hotch's bemused, eyebrows raising upwards, as his thumb brushes over your cheekbones.

"I can't?" he asks, and he sounds so much lighter now.

"No, you can't. I'll get the wrong idea, you know." you explain, and he smiles brazenly at your callback to earlier. "I'll actually believe you're in love with me or something." you say, and Hotch is slow as he leans back in, a peck being placed right on your lips as your eyelashes flutter, and your heart beats out of control.

"We can't have that, can we?" he's following your lead with the callback, and your cheek presses into his palm.

"I don't know." you answer, and your voice is faint. "I'm scared this'll be a dream." you proceed as Hotch's eyes scan over your frantic face. "I'll wake up and find out that this was all in my head, and the only memories I get to hold on to are from that night." Hotch's lips purse, head shaking in denial as you inhale shakily.

"No, not this time. an ambitious remark. "This time it's real." he promises. "This time I'm here with you to make sure that all those things you felt that night, and earlier by the bar, are how you keep feeling about me." he answers truly. "I'm here to love you back for as long as you'll have me. Is it alright for me to feel that way?" he asks, and your hand jumps up to keep his squished in place against your face.

"You can feel however you want." you reply, and he laughs, a full blown chuckle escaping him as his face seems to light up like a thousand suns. His eyes glisten, twinkling as he looks down at you, like everything was right in the world. And to him it was. Nothing and nobody could hurt you here.

"Good. Then I choose whatever this between you and I leads to, I choose the feelings that come with that." You smile grows to an almost blinding brightness as you reach across the console to hug him, and pull him into your arms. He's quick as he presses a peck to the top of your head, eyes still dancing over you as if he was seeing you for the first time. And maybe he was, that part wasn't your business, all you knew was that loving Aaron was easy, it could be.

A long time coming, but a wait well worth it. Lucky you.

[icyg4l]

PAC: Your Future Partner's Love Language

Hello beautiful people, tonight marks the third post of the week regarding love! (meaning I kept my promise, yay!) I have a sale going on tomorrow, so be sure to tune into that. If you would look to book a reading, please read my guidelines and then dm me! If you have any inquiries, also dm me! Without further ado, please select your pile!

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile 1: I feel like you’re the independent woman trope, Pile One. This person will be attracted to you because you have your own. But that doesn't mean that they won’t be giving. This isn’t a stingy lover at all. I get Cancer/Capricorn/Aquarius energy from this person. I see this person will be big on gift giving. They will also shower you with compliments. They don’t expect this in return, to be honest. They’re also really big on paying the tab every time at restaurants. I feel like this person is calm and collected. This person wants to follow in their family’s footsteps. They’re big on marriage and doing things the proper way. They would like to show you off, this is part of their love language as well. And lastly, this person really likes to see people stand on business. Part of their love language is helping you plan and put things into action. They’re going to be your number one fan. Expect roses and romance with this person, Pile One.

Cards Used: The Hierophant, The Hermit, 4 of Discs, Queen of Swords

extras: tacos. party pooper. mellow. skilla baby. carrie underwood. bartleby.

Pile 2: So when I was shuffling for this pile, I heard the term ‘yapper’. This person really likes to talk, even if it’s about nothing. I thought of this guy who I sit next to in my English class, and he says whatever comes to mind. I feel like this person just really wants a listening ear since they didn’t get that when they were younger. They could have been the type of kid to have “talks too much” on their report card. They have big Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Virgo energy. This person just wants to be heard and valued for once, they feel taken for granted. This person has the tendency to go down memory lane as well. They also have a thing for tickling. They honestly seem like a big kid. They are really big on humor. Their sense of humor can be deadpan or they could say a lot of one-liner punchlines. Be prepared to laugh a lot. I think this person values one-on-one time a lot as well, Pile Two.

Cards Used: Judgment, Ace of Swords, Death (RX), Eight of Discs (RX), 7 of Discs (RX)

extras: bright teeth. nice style. black beanies. toby from this is us. “kiss the ring.” wrestlers.

Pile 3: Oh man, the chemistry is hot here. This person really likes PDA. They enjoy physical touch. They want you to find any reason to touch them & they want to do the same for you. This person wants everyone to know that y’all are together. They could be a little clingy, let them know if that’s too much for you. I get the feeling that this could be their first real relationship so please be gentle with them. I feel like this person is like a big teddy bear. They really enjoy hugs, sharing drinks with you, cuddling, hand-holding and sloppy kisses. It all makes their world go round. You guys will be engaging in a lot of sexual activity together so please protect yourselves! Overall, this person is not shy. This person is quite the flirt, very physical. They give big Leo, LIbra, Aries energy. You guys are going to be like that one couple in high school that got detention for kissing by the lockers. People might be uncomfortable by your dynamic because you’re so physical with one another, but fuck it!

Cards Used: Knight of Wands, The Chariot, Princess of Cups, The Lovers, Ace of Cups.

extras: sweet face. wink. “hold me.” soft hands. racy. lord farquaad. monochromatic. skin-to-skin.

Pile 4: Can we say dramaaaa? I feel like your person is really dramatic. They’re the epitome of go big, go home. They give off Pisces, Leo, Sagittarius energy. They’re the epitome of male R&B singers in the early 2000s. This person has the best intentions but it can be overwhelming for you at times. Know that this person is doing their best. This is a part of who they are, there’s no faking this personality. I think this person would literally do anything for you. If you were to ask for a cookie from the store, they would bring you the cookie, a sandwich, a drink, chips and flowers just to make your day. This person is really good at planning parties and spending money. If you were to have a birthday coming up, they would have a surprise party planned with all of your favorite people there and thoughtful gifts. This person wants to give you the world, honestly. Don’t feel embarrassed by the things that this person does because you deserve it. They do it out of purity, but you can tell them to tone it down if it’s really getting to you.

Cards Used: The Emperor, The Fool, Justice, 7 of Cups, Ace of Discs, Princess of Cups

extras: my way by usher. “It’s camp.” new edition. clown colors. teezo touchdown. rich uncle vibes.

[magics-neptunes-things]

A Year of You

Hi guys!

This is a part 2 for "A Baby for Christmas" that I wrote months ago. It took me a long time to write because I wanted to have different ideas and not to write something to get over it.

So please enjoy this one ♥

December

Charlie being born on December 8, her first Christmas is naturally celebrated a little less than two weeks after her birth. It was normally up to you and Leah to throw the party, but Amanda seemed to think your daughter’s arrival gave you a valid excuse to skip your turn. It took a few years of adaptation, but you and Leah managed to find a twist between your two families, so that you could spend time with both of them. The Williamsons have invited your loved ones to come and celebrate with them several times, and that is the case today.

Usually you celebrate the 24th with Leah’s parents, her brother and girlfriend. On the 25th at noon with ALL Williamson and the 25th at night you are at your parents where you sleep and also spend the day after.

This year, however, to avoid complicated journeys, the two families are reunited and it suits you very well like that. You came home from the maternity ward after three nights, finding your bed and Leah’s arms to sleep with relief. Charlie is a rather calm child, it’s only when she is hungry that she gets angry and you don’t hesitate to tease Leah by pointing out that she already takes from her. She answered that if it was right, Charlie would only eat ham sandwich.

For sleep, she always has the rhythm of a newborn. That is, she falls asleep anywhere and anytime, waking up after four hours since her last meal. And since your daughter’s arrival in your lives, you’ve been wondering which dumbass invented the phrase "Sleeping like a baby" to mean you slept well.

"Is the most beautiful girl hungry?" coos Leah sitting next to you on the couch while you hold Charlie in your arms.

"No I'm okay, thank you" you answer with a sarcastic smile.

Leah laughs softly and puts a kiss on your cheek, although you had time to see a hint of guilt in her eyes. She nevertheless hands you the bottle that she has skillfully prepared for Charlie and you don't waste time before proposing it to her. She calms down quickly and you smile when you hear her gurgling with pleasure.

"I love you" Leah whispers to your ear, putting her two arms around your waist.

You leave Charlie’s face to look at your wife tenderly. With her elf headband and Christmas sweater, you find her particularly adorable. You answer her "I love you too" in the same way before kissing her tenderly, determined to enjoy a little of her. The world revolves around you, trying to digest the main course before tackling the army of desserts planned by your mother-in-law. Your parents are talking to Leah’s father about their last trip, the cousins have embarked on a game of Uno and the youngest enjoy the gifts they received.

"Oi, you just had a baby, maybe this is not the time to try to make another one"

The couch pops up next to Leah when her brother drops down next to her, interrupting your moment. If it amuses you, Leah gives him a cold glare.

"You better hurry up and make one, so my daughter has a cousin to play with."

January

Despite the fact that Alessia, Lia and Katie drove Leah to the maternity ward, none of them have had the chance to meet Charlie yet. It must be said that this little lady was born during the holidays, many people returned to their families. So, when Leah’s first practice of the year takes place, your decision to go surprise her and officially introduce Charlie to everyone was not hard to take.

Maybe a little helped too by the trouble Leah had leaving you both this morning. You almost had to throw her out, after promising to send her regular photos of Charlie.

"We’re here, Buba" you tell your daughter, using the nickname Leah gave her.

The baby has just eaten and slept almost all morning, so it’s relaxed and awake that she gets out of her car seat to get installed it in her stroller. With her fox onesie and her beanie with fox ears, you could eat her alive. Her eyes don’t leave your face when you go to the training field, the time of the lunch break being over since a few minutes.

Also, you didn’t expect to practically rush into Alessia who seems to be running to catch up. The shock of the almost collision passed, she gives you a big smile that gets even bigger when she realizes that you have Charlie with you. In two seconds she is leaning over the stroller.

"She’s so tiny" she whispers

You smile and look with amusement at your daughter looking at Alessia with a mixture of mistrust and skepticism.

"She inherited Leah’s glare and frown. It's kind of scary" mumble Alessia before getting up to look at you with hope. "Can I take her?"

You accept without hesitation, gently taking Charlie from her stroller to tender her to Alessia. You are perfectly confident, despite her chronic clumsiness you know that she will be very careful.

Alessia puts a kiss on Charlie’s cheek and looks at her smiling for a few minutes, before giving her back to you.

"Let’s go, we’re not gonna deprive Leah of a few extra seconds with you."

You follow her to the gym where the sports machines are, learning with joy that the girls will not return to the field until tomorrow. The training was adapted with the weather and it seems that snow is announced in the middle of the afternoon. You continue your chatter, until Alessia opens the door of the room.

"Late, Russo!"

You smile when you hear Leah’s voice sound, but Alessia is the first to speak again.

"I have a good excuse. Look who I’m bringing you"

Busy pedaling on a bike, Leah raises her head with curiosity, her face lighting up when seeing you. It only takes a few seconds for her to jump off her bike and join you, passing her arms around your waist to drop dozens of kisses all over your face, making you laugh.

"What are you doing here?"

"Charlie missed you" you maliciously pretexted.

"Ooooh is it right Buba? Did you miss me?"

Leah smiles softly and leans over the stroller, once again taking Charlie out to take her in her arms. She starts talking to her while rocking her. You smile softly, letting them have their moment and take the opportunity to greet the teammates of your blonde. After a few minutes they are all arguing about which one will have the chance to have Charlie first and you watch them do it while laughing softly.

You are not surprised to see Leah opting for Lia, the reassuring calm of the Swiss inspired as often trust. In the meantime, you’re sure of one thing, Charlie has an entire team to rely on in case of trouble.

February

Leah growls as she hears your daughter’s crying sound in the night, for what it seems to be the tenth time, turning on her stomach to hide her face in the pillow. For your part you sigh with despair, you have not even had time to fall asleep since her last awakening.

"What the hell is happening to her?"

Leah’s voice is muffled by the pillow and you rub your face as you get out of bed.

"I don’t know" you whisper, completely lost.

Usually, Charlie only wakes up once in the night to get a bottle, two if she ate not enough during the day. Which is more than reasonable for a three-month-old baby. But tonight, something doesn’t seem right and you don’t understand what. She ate well, had a good day and everything was fine yesterday. She fell asleep as usual except tonight, something’s wrong.

You checked her temperature, offered a bottle, water, changed her diaper several times and even undressed her from head to toe to make sure everything was okay. You had the misfortune of falling on the story of a baby who lost a toe because a hair had wrapped around it. Since then, you’ve been carefully examining Charlie’s ten toes several times a day.

Arriving in your daughter’s room, you take her out of her cradle once again to take her against you and rock her, installed on the armchair in her room. Like other times she finally calms down and looks at you at length with her blue eyes before finally letting herself go in sleep.

You realize you fell asleep too when you feel Charlie being gently removed from your arms. Your first reflex is to tighten her against you, but Leah’s whispered voice gently reassures you.

You watch her do it, dropping a kiss on Charlie’s forehead before turning to you to lift you from the chair and carry you a little bit the way she did with your daughter. Smiling tenderly, you put your arms around her neck and let her bring you back to your bed. She lies you on it and lies on you, her head in your neck.

"Don’t take this position for what it isn't, I’m too exhausted for anything to do with sex" Leah mutters against your skin.

You laugh softly, fondling her long blond hair tenderly.

"It was worth marrying a professional athlete" you point out by yawning.

"Tomorrow" answers Leah already half asleep.

"Sure"

You’re amused and close your eyes. Leah’s comforting warmth against you allows you to fall asleep faster than before and you are already almost gone when you hear your wife speak again.

"Love you"

"Love you more" you manage to whisper before sinking completely.

March

Becoming a parent has brought a lot of positive things into your life, you can’t say otherwise. Ever since Charlie was born, you’ve discovered a form of love you never knew existed. But you also have to admit that you miss spending quality time with Leah alone. So you took advantage of Leah’s birthday to ask your mother-in-law to look for your pretty princess for the night, to have the opportunity to offer Leah an evening.

Amanda obviously accepted without hesitation, idolizing her granddaughter. Leaving her at home wasn’t easy, however, especially for you. You never left Charlie for more than several hours, when Leah was looking at her for you to go for a medical appointment or a haircut.

"Will you let us know how it's going?" You whisper in Amanda’s ear saying goodbye, Leah covering Charlie’s laughing face with kisses next to you.

"Sure." Amanda smiles at you before fondly tapping your cheek. "Take good care of my daughter, I’ll take care of yours."

You can’t help but smile at her remark and you take a look in the direction of Leah and Charlie, to be once again invaded by a wave of love for the two human beings in front of you.

A few hours later, you enter the restaurant you booked. This is the first restaurant you shared with Leah and the smile on her face is enough to make you understand that she remembers it too.

"Very good choice of restaurant" teases Leah, once installed at your table.

"I thought it would be good to go back to basics"

Leah smiles and you thank the waiter who brings you the menu cards before taking your choice of drink. The beginning of the meal goes quietly, conversations passing from football to Charlie, to your work and the holidays you plan to do this summer.

"Do you remember what you said to me after our first date?" Leah suddenly asks while poking a French fry with her fork.

"Mmh?"

You have a full mouth and are therefore unable to give her an answer right away. Anyway, you have the impression that Leah wants to formulate the sentence herself.

"I’ve been warned of your flirtatious temper. I don’t want to be another scratch on your bedmarks. If you want something from me, it must be something serious."

You smile at that memory and Leah seems amused too. You quickly fell in love with the blonde, how could you have done otherwise anyway?

"You’ve been running your boat pretty well so far" you’re joking mischievously.

"And right after you threw yourself at me to kiss me"

That too, you remember perfectly well, obviously. Far from being calculated, this kiss had been intense. The first one you two shared.

"I was afraid you were less interested in me than I was in you. I wanted to leave you a little memory."

"By slamming the door of your apartment in my face right after?"

Leah’s face is laughing, amused at the thought of teasing you for your behavior. But you can’t blame her, you’re even laughing now.

"What do you want me to say? I just panicked."

Leah mixes her laughter with yours and you smile softly, still loving to hear her laugh. People sometimes define Leah as serious and narrow-minded, what she is. But she’s not just that. You love the gentle, relaxed, tender Leah.

"It didn’t prevent you from writing to me a little hour after actually" you point out while bowing an eyebrow.

"Contrary to what you seem to think, I’ve always been the most in love between the both of us"

Bowing your eyebrow at her, you point your fork in her direction. She is about to revive a long debate between you two. And her dirty kid's smile tells you she knows exactly what she’s doing.

"Don’t start here, Williamson."

Throughout the meal, you receive occasional news from Amanda to inform you of the evolution of Charlie’s evening. You received a photo of Charlie in her bath, a photo of Charlie with Amanda’s dog, a photo of Charlie with her uncle Jacob and a photo of Charlie deeply asleep in her bedroom at her grandmother. You’ve repeated several times that it’s not necessary to have a room made for Charlie at her place, but Amanda is as stubborn as Leah.

"Aren’t we going home?"

Leah’s surprise voice pulls you out of your thoughts, for once she’s the passager princess. You look at her quickly to stay focused on the road, smiling at her.

"Who do you think I am? It’s your birthday, we’re not going to end the evening with a chamomile in front of a soap opera"

You’re a little more relaxed than at the beginning of the evening, relieved to learn that Charlie fell asleep without being difficult to her grandmother. She has finally regained her sleep habits after a short spell.

"Where are we going?" Leah said, standing up on her seat and looking out, as if signs were going to give her the right answer.

You end up stopping your car at a palace in the Westminster district, in which you booked a suite with a balcony offering you a magnificent view of London. This is one of the few times you find yourself facing a silent Leah.

"What do you think?" you ask timidly after joining her on the balcony.

"I don’t know what I did to have the chance to have you in my life, but know that I don’t intend to let you escape one day" Leah whispers in response, putting her two arms around your waist to hold you tight.

"I really think that I'm the lucky one but never let me go" you mumble against her lips, passing your arm around her neck.

"Never let you go" she answers before kissing you hard, promise of a more than pleasant end of the evening.

April

The first time you took Charlie to see Leah play, it was primarily to support your wife who play today on her national team. To say that Charlie didn’t see much of the first half is an understatement, but she's now a great sleeper.

So that you can enjoy the game, your mother and Leah’s mother volunteered in turn to watch over Charlie who was peacefully napping inside the VIP corner, away from the cold in the bleachers. Awakened at halftime for her bottle, she is in your arms when Leah put the ball on the net, cheered whit the crowd around you. You gently take Charlie’s hand in yours and make her say hello to Leah who sends you a big smile.

Dressed in a panda jumpsuit on which you passed a jersey obviously flocked with Leah’s number and your last name, Charlie is particularly adorable. Well, you’re not impartial. But since you’ve had all the families of Leah’s teammates come to see Charlie, you don’t think you’re the only one who thinks so.

The game went great and the spring sun allows you not to be cold. You can’t tell what Charlie sees from the game, but her attention seems to be focused on the pitch. Even if sometimes she seems more attracted by the images that pass on the big screen. Charlie stays on your lap for the rest of the game and when the whistle rings to announce the end of the game, Leah goes straight to you.

"My Love" coos Leah taking Charlie in her arms immediately.

"Ouch. That hurts." you grumble in a low voice

Amanda next to you laughs and puts her arm around your shoulder. Leah gives you an apology smile while dropping kisses on Charlie’s cheeks making your daughter pat Leah’s cheeks. You can’t be angry for real obviously, especially when you feel your heart melt when you see the scene.

Leah is quickly joined by some of her teammates, Alessia at the top of the list. She’s taking Ella with her and you can see that Georgia isn’t following very far behind. If Charlie looks at Ella and Georgia with a scepticism that can only be linked to her genes, she smiles a big smile at Alessia.

"I’m her favorite" she proudly says, reaching out to Charlie.

Leah rolls her eyes and gently give her your daughter. Over time, Alessia seems to be more comfortable with Charlie. She developped a sweet spot for your daughter, asking you from time to time if she can join your afternoon stroll.

When Leah turns to you, you hurry to remove your smile from your face and look at her with an arch of an eyebrow.

"Are you sulking Williamson?" Leah mischievously pinched your ribs.

"Absolutely" you answer by wriggling to escape her attacks.

Leah smiles as you try to get away but doesn’t hesitate to put her arms around your waist to take you against her. You let it happen, of course. She understood that you're not really angry when you said you were. You smile in her arms, passing your arms around her neck.

"I’m proud of you, Lee" you say in the hollow of her ear.

You feel Leah’s smile against your skin and she puts a kiss in the hollow of your neck. The glance she throws at you and the caress on your cheek are largely enough to make you understand that you too are "Her Love". After releasing you, Leah turns to her mother and yours to exchange a few words. For your part, you turn towards Charlie who is still in Alessia’s arms.

"Beware the…" you begin, before Charlie grabs Ella’s hair in full hand to pull it, triggering Ella's cry of pain and Alessia's laughter. "…hair."

May

"Baby she's doing it again!"

Hiding your smile, you leave your work on your computer to go to Leah and Charlie in the kitchen. Your daughter started to eat vegetable puree and everything went great until Kyra came on time during Charlie's lunch and show her how to spit her food.

"I'm going to kill Kyra" Leah mumbles, giving you the little spoon and Charlie's vegetable.

"Alright but wash the carrots before, maybe" your smirk.

You hear Leah grunts before heading to the bathroom and you turn yourself in Charlie's direction. Arching an eyebrow, you look at your daughter with seriousness before pointing her with the plastic spoon.

"No spitting, baby Williamson!"

Charlie give your one of her toothy smile and you can't help yourself but smile too. She definitely have you wrapped around her little finger, but you still tries to set her boundaries and rules, not wanting Charlie to become one of those unbearable children who listens to nothing.

You carefully give her a spoon that she's swallow easily before opening her mouth again. You feel yourself relax as the spoon were eaten easily and some minutes after Leah is back in the kitchen with a new shirt.

"Thanks baby" she says, kissing your cheek before taking back the spoon and the bowl.

"You're welcome. Can I go back to my office now?"

"Yep" Leah says, popping the p of the word.

"Be wise with Mum, Baba" you say to your daughter before going in your office again.

After your pregnancy, you didn't start working again. It was to hard for you to leave Charlie for now, maybe you will start again after she start school. You had a long discussion with Leah about it, not wanting to be the one using the other's money. Leah was shocked that you thought that she can think about you that way, saying that she didn’t mind you taking care of your daughter for the first few months of her life.

In exchange, you offered to take care of all the administrative papers of your couple life and this is what you are currently working on.

At least you try, because five minutes later you clearly ear the characteristic sound of a baby spitting.

"What the... Charlie!"

June

You might have thought that having a child would take you and Leah away from your friends, but over the months you’ve found out that you were wrong. Charlie having the facility to sleep everywhere (you like to emphasize that she must take this from you), Leah and you have no difficulty in making her sleep anywhere and moving her without her waking up in her car seat, then in her bed. You know it can make some parents jealous, but it's your reality.

The proof again tonight, at the party organized by Viv and Beth at their home. Charlie is deeply asleep in her stroller, her cuddly llama tight against her, after taking her last bottle of the day. The temperature of the day allowed you to eat in the garden and this is still where you are. You rock Charlie’s stroller mechanically from time to time, despite the fact that Leah made you sit on her lap after the dessert.

"So when do you give us a second one?" asks Beth with a little a smirk.

"Clearly not right away" Leah replies immediately, making you smile.

It was a discussion you had a few weeks ago, to know if you wanted to have a second child and when. You were a little afraid to admit to Leah that you didn’t see yourself with a second child at the moment, but when Leah told you it was the same for her, you were very relieved. Charlie is adorable, easy and it’s a pleasure to have her by your side. But you want to enjoy it and honestly now that you have found a functioning that seems to suit to all three of you, you would be afraid that it would change if had a second child so quickly.

"Just make one yourself" you add with a mischievous smile.

Viv almost chokes on her drin, causing the amused laughters of the people around you.

"We have Myle, it’s going very well like this" Viv replies as Beth gives her little pats on the back.

"Did you just compare my baby princess to your dog or am I dreaming?" said Leah with a frown.

Feeling the argument getting ready when Beth in turn frowns and bends over to Leah to answer, Lia jumps on her legs and takes the blonde with her to help bring more water. Wise decision in your opinion and you mask your amused smile by laying a kiss on Leah’s cheek.

July

For your first summer family vacation, you and Leah decided to take off in the sun so that Leah could rest a little after a rather tiring season. You chose Spain and one of its islands. And the least you can say is that Charlie seems to acclimatize very well to the Spanish climate. Luckily for her, she doesn’t seem to have inherited Leah’s English skin, which is hard to tan.

You’re actually fighting with Charlie who hates sunscreen prodigiously and pushes your hands back every time you approach her face with it. She tolerates when you put it on her body, but on her face you have to arm yourself with patience. A distraction is however quickly brought by Leah, even if you would have done without it.

"What the hell are you doing with a giant inflatable llama?" you ask skeptically.

"He’s so handsome! And Charlie loves llamas"

That’s right. Her favorite to sleep is actually a soft, hairy llama that was given to her by Leah’s brother. You cowardly take advantage of Charlie’s distraction to quickly spread sunscreen on her face before letting her crawl to the llama. She skillfully climbs on it before sitting on it and applauding.

"See?" Leah smiled big before taking Charlie under one arm and the llama under the other.

"And where are you going?" you ask, with an amused smile.

"Having fun. Go back to your lame reading"

Leah pulls her tongue at you and you roll your eyes with an amused smile before sitting on the sun lounger decorated with sunscreen. But you don’t lie there, preferring to watch Charlie and Leah play in the water from afar. You make some photos and videos that you send to each of your mothers before deciding to join them.

The two blondes greet you with big smiles and you simply sit down next to her in the sand. It's impossible for you not to smile when you hear Charlie's laughter mixed with the laughter so recognizable and that you adore from Leah.

While you admire them both, you can’t help but wonder what you’ve done in your life to be so lucky. And you’re not just saying that because Leah’s swimsuit allows you to get a great view of her abs.

Your eyes are quickly intercepted by Leah, who addresses you her famous cocky smile.

"Haven’t you finished staring at me like that?"

"Never" you answer with a smile.

Leah laughs softly and you stand from the sand in which you sat, finally joining them in the water. One hand in Leah’s back, you kiss her. The blonde smiles tenderly, tightening against you but your moment is quickly interrupted by Charlie. Until then sitting on the llama, the little blonde seems to have suddenly decided to get on all fours and almost fall in the water.

"We’re going to have to work on your survival instinct, Baba" Leah says after preventing her from falling head first in the water.

September

Like every Sunday night, your meal consists of pizza since it's Leah’s cheating meal day. This lunch, also like every Sunday you don't have a football game, you went to eat at her parents' for the famous Sunday roast. When you got home, Charlie taking her last nap in the car, you bathed her before you ordered pizzas over the phone. Margarita for Leah and all cheese for you.

Meanwhile, Leah sat in the living room with Charlie and turned on the television to watch the Arsenal men’s football match. Dressed in her pajamas in the colors of Arsenal, Charlie is sitting next to her mat. Why sitting on something comfortable when you can have something cold? And she puts the shapes into her toy by lifting the plate rather than passing them through the holes, but nothing surprises you with this young lady anymore.

"Pizza orders" you tell Leah by sitting next to her

"Great baby" Leah says without leaving the screen.

You roll your eyes with a slight smile, watching Charlie continue to play. You enjoy watching your wife play with her teammates, but that’s not what made you want to watch other people play. Well, until you…

"Leah" you almost shout abruptly by grabbing her arm abruptly.

"What" jump the blonde.

You don’t answer, searching for your phone on the couch without leaving Charlie with your eyes. Leah quickly turns her gaze in the same direction as you, only to realize that Charlie has risen. And that she is walking.

Her first steps.

That you manage to immortalize with a "What the f…luff" from Leah in background. On the rest of the video, we see Charlie turning towards you with an interrogative look. But it's quickly erased by her big smile when you rush to take her in your arms.

December

"I can’t believe she’s already a year old" Leah whispers from behind you, her arms around your waist.

"I know" you sigh softly as you let yourself go against her.

You both watch Charlie sitting on the floor with Kyra and Alessia, playing with one of the toys she received as a gift. Even though she seems to have enjoyed the idea of tearing off the gift wrap more than anything else, the game finally seems to catch her attention.

You set up her first birthday party and probably exaggerated a bit about things, but Charlie seems to have enjoyed her day. Your close family was there, as were some of Leah’s teammates who eventually also play the role of aunties to Charlie.

Your daughter probably received too many gifts and seems to have taken a malignant pleasure in destroying the cake planned for the photo shoot. Photos you’ll cherish in a few months.

When you gently turn your face towards Leah to kiss her, you realize that tears are visible on her face.

"Are you crying?"

Well, maybe the question is stupid. Anyway, Leah is burying her face in the hollow of your neck before answering.

"No"

You smile softly, touched by your wife’s emotion. Leah’s breath is hot against your skin and it makes you shiver. Turning in her arms, you pass your arms around her.

"Come here, you big softy"

You lull her tenderly against you, happy that all the attention of others is on Charlie or on the remains of cakes that are still on their plates. If Leah likes to give an impression of mastery and distance in everyday life, her friends and family know that her sensitivity is one of her main characteristics.

"I love you" whispers Leah after a few seconds. "So much"

"I love you too" you smile tenderly.

When Leah pops her face out of your neck her eyes are dry but her cheeks still wet. You gently wipe them with your thumbs and kiss her tenderly, as you wanted to do at the base.

"And well done for the organization" Leah continues after your kiss. "That was perfect. Thanks for organizing that."

"Of course. But you helped me too"

Leah laughs at your amused smile. It’s true that she helped you a lot, especially when she learned that you had an appointment with a pastry chef to taste different mixes of tastes for Charlie’s birthday cake.

Your eyes turn to Charlie walking in your direction, leaving behind Alessia and Kyra who continue to play with her animal zoo. Since she took her first steps, the times you have seen her on all fours are counted on the fingers of the hand.

"Hi Baba" you smile as you lift her off the ground to take her in your arms.

You kiss her cheek and Charlie laughs when Leah does the same on the other side of her face.

"Photo!" cheerfully makes your mom when she appears suddenly in front of you.

You just have time to turn to her before your mother capture the moment. A photo that will end up enlarged above your television, then followed by many others when time will continue to offer you millions of other good moments and memories with them. All your life.

[panda-writes-kpop]

Jihyo Fluff Alphabet (Requested!)

a/n: hi everyone! apologizes for a later fic, I had been feeling a bit under the weather but I'm starting to feel better now! sorry for those who were looking for the return of these fluff alphabets - I didn't mean to take a month and a half off 0_0 anyways I hope you enjoy this and thank you to the person who requested this!

tw: none!

♡ Masterlist ♡

Affection (How do they show their affection? What love language(s) do they use?)

Jihyo shows most of her affection for you via acts of service and words of affirmation. She’s always the first to wipe your tears when you’re feeling down, and the first to tell you how amazing you are when it feels like you’re nothing but.

Beauty (What do they admire about their S/O? What makes their S/O beautiful?)

Jihyo admires your compassion for people (and animals, if you’re an animal lover!). You always find a way to help others, whenever possible, and it warms your heart. In terms of physical appearance, she loves your smile… especially if she caused it with a bad joke or some mutual teasing!

Comfort (How would they help their S/O if they were having a rough day?)

Jihyo will race to your side if she doesn’t have any schedules for the day. She will gently rub your back and hold you in her arms as long as you need her to. If Jihyo can’t be there, she’ll FaceTime you and comfort you with her sweet words as long as she can.

Dreams (How do they picture their future with their S/O?)

Jihyo definitely dreams of a “stereotypical” life for the two of you - settling down someplace quiet, getting married, and introducing kids into your lives. Of course, you both have career ambitions and need time to figure out what you both want out of life, so she’s in no rush. As long as you’re together, you’ll figure it out with time.

Equal (Do they tend to be more dominant or passive in the relationship?)

Jihyo tends to be the more dominant person in the relationship - she’s very chivalrous towards you and she’s often the one planning dates due to her busy schedule. If she’s busy with work or is worn out from a long day, Jihyo will happily let you take care of her instead.

Fight (Would they easily forgive their S/O after a fight? How would a typical fight go?)

You two don’t get into big fights, but your bickering can get on each other’s nerves at times. Jihyo can be a little headstrong, so she has to take a moment to calm down before apologizing to you if things go too far. If you apologize first, she’ll admit her fault and apologize back to you if needed.

Gratitude (How grateful are they for everything that their S/O does for them?)

Jihyo always expresses her gratitude for you with actions or words. If you prepare lunch for her the next day because she’s busy, she makes sure to buy you lunch some time during the week. She’s all about reciprocating the love she receives.

Honesty (Do they tend to keep secrets from their S/O, or do they share everything?)

Jihyo definitely shares everything with you, her partner, and it may be overwhelming if you’re someone who is a bit more reserved. She’s totally understanding towards your reserved nature and will give you space, but she’s also happy to learn lots about you if you want to reveal more about yourself.

Inspiration (Did their S/O change them, or was it the other way around?)

You definitely are inspired by Jihyo because she’s a hardworking, passionate woman - who wouldn’t be? She puts her all into everything, and it makes you want to do the same. She rubs off on you so much that improves you as a person, even if your paths aren’t destined to be intertwined forever.

Jealousy  (Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

Jihyo swears up and down that she doesn’t get jealous, but if she sees someone flirting with you, her jaw clenches and she’s folding her arms with a disappointed look on her face. Not towards you, of course, but the other person - you and her had walked in together, how could they have not noticed? Jihyo fights with herself for a bit before deciding to confront the person - kindly, of course - before they run away in embarrassment after realizing what they’ve done.

Kiss (How often do they kiss you? Where do they like to kiss you?)

Jihyo likes to kiss your cheeks and lips the most. Cheek kisses are an easy greeting/goodbye between the two of you, and kissing you on the lips is an easy romantic gesture that the both of you enjoy. She will often kiss you on the cheek, in public or not, but kisses on the lips are saved for times when the two of you are alone.

Lazy Day (How do they like to spend days off with their S/O?)

Jihyo doesn’t mind going out or staying in - either are fine with her, as long as you’re spending time together. If you go out, you’ll go to dinner together and see a movie/show before heading home. If you stay in, you’ll order food from her favorite place and spend the night playing board/video games and catching up on your favorite shows.

Marriage (Do they want to get married? How often do they think about marrying their S/O?)

Jihyo definitely thinks about marrying you quite often - in the more domesticated moments, where you’re making dinner together, folding laundry, or just cuddling under the couch on a cold winter’s night. It feels so natural between the two of you, like you’re meant to be together like this for the rest of your lives.

Nicknames (What do they call their S/O?)

Babe, dear, love

Jihyo is a mix of old-fashioned and new-fashioned nicknames. She’ll often call you the one that makes you the most flustered because she thinks it’s funny to see you so flustered. (and she hopes that you’ll do it back to her).

On Cloud Nine (What are they like when they are in love? Is it extremely obvious to others?)

Jihyo mostly goes about her business as per usual - she won’t be too revealing of your relationship or of you. She says your name in passing, as she would a friend, until the two of you are serious enough to introduce each other to family and friends. Once you do, she talks about you lovingly and constantly until the other person has to change the topic of conversation.

PDA (Are they very upfront with their relationship, or do they prefer to keep things quiet?)

Jihyo gives you moderate amounts of affection in public - cheek kisses, a warm hug, or holding hands. She wants you to feel comfortable around her, so she won’t be more affectionate in public unless you are more affectionate towards her in public.

Quirk (Some random personality trait that makes them an excellent partner.)

Her loud voice is something that she uses to help you and herself. If you’re being talked over or simply not listened to, Jihyo will command people’s attention with a few words before lovingly looking at you and asking you to continue talking so she can listen to you, along with everyone else.

Romance (Are they a born romantic ready to woo their S/O at any moment, or do they struggle to spark romantic moments with their S/O?)

Jihyo leans more towards being a natural romantic. She doesn’t struggle to make you blush with her words, or to “sweep you off your feet” with a sweet date or kind action.

Support (How do they help support their S/O to reach their goals?)

If you’re passionate about your goals, then Jihyo is also passionate about your goals. She’s supporting you by being physically there for you - picking you up if there’s a bump in the road, or celebrating with you if things go right.

Thrill (Do they like trying out new things to spice up their relationship, or do they prefer to stick to a routine?)

Jihyo likes to try out new things, together with you. It’s always fun to explore the world around you with a willing partner who wants to learn and grow with you.

Understanding (How well do they know their partner?)

Jihyo understands you when it comes to your emotions. If you’re feeling upset, she knows how to comfort you. If you’re happy, she knows how to keep the good mood going.

Value (How important is the relationship to the person versus other relationships and things in their life?)

She values your relationship as much as she values her platonic and familial relationships. You’ve become an important part of her life over the years, just as her family and friends have, and you all should have equal importance to her.

Wild Card (A random fluffy headcanon that you have about the relationship?)

I’ve talked about this in another fic, but Jihyo is the best hype woman. She’s always there to support you, however she possibly can. If you’re feeling down, she’s immediately at your side so she can comfort you so you can feel better as soon as possible.

XOXO (Do they like to kiss, hug, and cuddle you? How often do they do so?)

Jihyo loves to hug, kiss, and cuddle you, but she understands place and time. You probably don’t want her all over you when you’re in public, so she saves the cuddling and lingering kisses for times when the two of you are alone.

Yearning (How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?)

Jihyo calls/FaceTimes you whenever you’re apart due to work or other plans. She always works off of your time zone, if your time zones are different. It’s sweet of her, especially since she falls asleep on camera and you have plenty of screenshots to show her when she wakes up.

Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

Jihyo will definitely go to great lengths for the relationship, given that you will do the same for the relationship. When she puts all of herself in the relationship, she expects you to do the same. It’s about balance between the two of you - sometimes one has to do a bit more to make up for the partner who may be feeling a little down.

[pholla-jm]

Please Pull Through

IMAGINE: PLEASE PULL THROUGH ~ MIHAWK X READER GENRE: FLUFF/ANGST WARNING: DESCRIPTION OF BLOOD *******************************

In your description, being married to Mihawk was bliss. It was the perfect domestic life in your opinion. Sure, he was a warlord, but he was perfect to you. You loved the castle. Sure, it was big and can be a bit lonely sometimes. But when Mihawk was home, the castle seemed livelier than ever. It was filled with your laughter and soft music. All Mihawk could do was watch your figure with a smile on his face.

He enjoyed how everything seemed to light up around him when you were around. The love he held for you was indescribable. He just couldn’t live without you. That’s why he hated it whenever he had to go on missions or attend a boring meeting. It would take days, weeks even for him to return back. Whenever he was gone, all he could think about was you.

However, there were days when you felt lonely and bored. You swore that one day it would drive you crazy. So, while he was gone, you would travel to the neighboring island and sell goods. Mihawk didn’t like the idea at first. He said that it could be dangerous since he couldn’t protect you if needed. He also tried to reason that you didn’t need to do this because he has enough money to provide for the both of you and more. You just laughed at him, telling him that you were an independent person that knew how to take care of themselves. To ease his worries, he got both you and him a vivre card. Gave him peace of mind. That way if you were ever in trouble, he could get to you as fast as he could.

He was fortunate that he had never seen the paper burn or even light up in the slightest.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright, darling? I will be gone for quite some time. That’s why I’m offering you to come with me.” Mihawk says while holding onto your hands. You give them a slight squeeze, “I’m sure. Plus, I plan on going to the next island. I’m also gonna buy some stuff to do some redecorating.”

A sharp breath of intake came from him and the way he tenses was a sign of how he felt about that.

You laugh at his reaction, “Oh come on. It won’t be that bad. You’ll love it.” “We’ll see about that.”

Mihawk leans down to place a chaste kiss on your lips. “I’ll see you in a month then.” You say when you pull back.

Mihawk internally grimaces hearing the work month. He really couldn’t stand being away from his partner for that long.

“See you in a month.” He whispers before letting your hands go and leaving the castle. You can only stand at the window on the top floor, where you can see his figure slowly start fading away.

Once he was out of sight, you quickly started to get to work. You wanted to prepare the bedroom before placing the new decoration. You wanted to lighten up the room a little, but not too light because you knew Mihawk wouldn’t like it.

It took a couple of days to prep and plan things out. But once everything was done, you gathered your own things and headed to your own boat. It took another day for you to reach the island that you usually docked on.

You were immediately greeted with familiar faces and friends. The island was quiet and friendly. There was never a sense of danger so there was no need to feel any sense of fear. It was a peaceful island, almost perfect.

“Hey (y/n)!”

It was one of your closest friends from this island. You excitedly waved back to your friend. Both of you decided to go to a small café to catch up on each other’s lives. The café was small and quaint, but the food was really good.

The two of you were chatting away, when suddenly a shrill shriek ripped through the small village. “Pirates! Pirates!”

At those words, everyone got up and scrambled around. This was the first pirate raid in the village, and no one really knew what to do. Most people were scrambling around, some grabbing a weapon of some sort.

You turn to your friend, “go back home and find yourself a hiding spot.” Your friend nods and runs in the direction of her home.

You run around, helping people find hiding spots before the pirates actually stepped foot into the village. However, it was too late. The rampaging stampede of pirates could be heard and soon you could see the pirates. They didn’t waste a second rummaging through things. People were crying and screaming for them to stop.

Your only goal was to stop this mayhem as soon as possible without any of the villagers getting hurt. You turn your head, spotting a child on the ground. Trying to pick up their toy. The child didn’t notice the pirate sneaking up on them. Without a second thought, you run towards the child ready to pick them up and get them to a hiding spot. However, as soon as you reached the child, you felt a sickening blow against your back.

A pained gasp leaves your lips as you fall to the ground, blood immediately filling your vision. The sounds of screams and cries slowly start to get quieter and quieter. And you wonder why. It started to make sense as you started to feel lightheaded, and your vision slowly starts to fade. The only thing that could fall out of your mouth were the whispers of your beloved’s name.

Mihawk could feel something slightly shift in his pocket. Before even reaching into his pocket to check, he could feel that something was wrong. His instincts were right as he pulls out the vivre card with your name on it.

The paper was halfway gone. It was slowly burning away. Only meaning one thing. You were slowly dying. Without wasting another second, he disappears from the room. Not giving a single explanation to anyone in the room.

He knew exactly what island you were on, and he hated that he couldn’t get to you quick enough. It took him half a day to get to the island. Mihawk is a man on a mission, and nothing will stop him. And I mean nothing.

So, it was only natural that it didn’t take long to find you.

He was a bit surprised at what happened to the island. He knew it was a very safe island, mainly because everyone knew not to commit any heinous crimes on the island. Because if his dear partner got injured on that island, then there would be hell to pay.

It was quick for him to come up with the solution that the village was raided, and he asked around about these pirates. He would have to pay them a visit later.

When he’s shown to the infirmary, where you lay unconscious, it was like time stopped for him. There was barely any life in you. You looked peaceful though. There were machines hooked up to you, most likely keeping you alive, he concludes.

A doctor enters the room, momentarily surprised by his presence. The doctor knew of him, and he knew that this wasn’t a good situation at all. The doctor continues to tell him how you helped the village during the attack.

Mihawk could only stare blankly at you as the doctor talks. It was like you to help people, but he really hates that you have to pay like this. You didn’t’ deserve this.

When the doctor leaves the room to give Mihawk some time, he looks at the vivre card again. The paper was still slowly ebbing away. His heart clenches at the sight. He really didn’t want to think about the fact he was about to lose you. But seeing the paper burn away was only a reminder that it was true, he was going to lose you. He couldn’t do anything but sit next to your side and hope for the best.

He pushes your hair from your forehead, placing a soft kiss on your cold forehead. “Please pull through for me darling.”

[likedovesinthewindd]

was rewatching itsv, and i love this loser—this is just nonsense i came up with. this takes place just before he's transported to miles' universe.

peter b. parker x reader

You didn't consider yourself the most neighborly person, but you were nice enough to the few people who lived around you in the busy New York apartment complex. In return, they were nice to you as well. The old lady to your left would invite you over every other Sunday for lunch. The guy to your right once fixed a leak in your bathroom and a broken cupboard door, and in return you had helped him fix up the extra room in his apartment so that his daughter could move in with him. Every other week you babysat for the couple who lived down the hallway, three apartments from yours.

You've formed somewhat of a friendship with most of the people you lived around, except for one.

The gentleman that lived in the apartment across from yours was somewhat of a loner. You hardly saw him; you only knew of his existence because you had come home from work one evening at the same moment he had opened his door to accept a pizza delivery.

You had given him a friendly smile, paired with a "Good evening," in a voice sweeter than honey itself, and he only answered with a rise of his brows and small smile.

He was never mean per say, but he also didn't seem like he wanted to be talking to you (or anyone) whenever you'd see him. He looked like he was going through one hell of a slump as well. He was always rocking a scruff, hair wild and unstyled and looking like he wore whatever he could find in his laundry. Sometimes you'd see him wear the same outfit two or three days in a row.

You were a little curious about him, as well as a bit concerned, so you devised a plan to go and start conversation in the hopes of finding out a little more about your mystery neighbor.

✮˚｡⋆

You gave two quick knocks to your neighbor's door before your hand quickly retreated back to the container of fresh baked cookies you had decided to bake him. Maybe this was coming on to strong, you thought, looking down at the bowl, the smell of the freshly baked batch filling your nose. You considered turning around and going back to your apartment, but just as you turned your back to his door, it opened with an unceremonious grunt.

"Can I help you?" you heard from behind you, and you turned back around slowly to face him, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. "Hi," you smiled awkwardly, suddenly forgetting the little conversation starter you had planned out when you were baking the cookies. "I'm Y/N. I uh, I live across from you," you started, pointing to the apartment behind you.

"Yeah, I know," he said. Of course he knew, he's seen me! you thought, wanting to kick yourself. "Of course, well I just wanted to formally introduce myself, so I made you these. Hope you like gingerbread," you said, almost shoving the container at him, which he accepted gladly, albeit with a bit of confusion.

"Thanks," he said, eyes glued to the container's content, "they smell good." You gave him a tight-lipped smile, nervously rocking on the balls of your feet. "Alright well, I'll see you around," you turned around to make your way back to your apartment, but you were stopped by his gruff voice once again.

"I'm Peter, by the way. Don't think I've introduced myself," he said as you turned around once again. You gave him another small smile, finally knowing the identity of the ghost of a man that lived across from you.

"It's nice to meet you, Peter," you said before finally making your way into your apartment.

✮˚｡⋆

Night shift was weirdly one of your favorite times to clock into work. There was something oddly soothing about getting ready for work when most people were asleep, the sound of the otherwise sleepless city serving as white noise as you mutely moved around the apartment.

You were getting the last of your things together, preparing for the long night ahead of you. Just as you unlocked the door, bag messily draped over one arm while the other held onto a half eaten muffin, you were met with Peter as he quietly made his way inside his apartment. You wanted to great him, when his choice of attire caught your eye, causing the words to get caught in your throat. The blue and red attire wasn't hard to identify as a Spider-man suit, and your first thought was to laugh at it. It's not Halloween yet, is it? was what you wanted to say, but the terrified look on his face told you he wouldn't appreciate the joke at the moment. What also stood out to you was how realistic the suit itself looked, paired with the mask gripped tightly in his left hand, as the right was still placed on the doorknob. It definitely didn't look like the ones you could buy at the dollar store.

Noticing the long stretch of silence was what prompted you to finally say something about whatever this situation was. "Long night?" you asked quietly, turning around to lock your door and give him a way out. "Uh, yeah," he answered, obviously not understanding that you were trying to give him a way out. You hummed in understanding, and when you turned around, he was still standing in front of his door. "Listen—" he started.

"You should probably go inside, Peter," you interrupted him, and he finally understood what you were doing. "Right, you're right I, yeah." and he quietly slipped into his apartment without another word. You decided to not dwell on it for now. It wasn't your business anyway, even if the idea of Spider-Man being your neighbor intrigued you a bit. Besides, why on Earth would Spider-Man use the front door?

a/n: this is real stupid but i don't want it in my drafts.

[sabrgirl]

what to do when you've committed a sin

oftentimes when committing a sin, it can be very easy to fall into a state of hopelessness, extreme guilt, shame and anxiety. The Prophet ﷺ said that "regretting (a sin) is repentance" (Sunan Ibn Majah 4252), and this shows that guilt is a good thing - a feeling that comes along with regret that drives you forward to ensure you don't commit the same sin again.

however, letting guilt and shame consume you entirely to the point where you've lost hope in Allah's Mercy and in yourself and end up sitting in a place of despair is not productive. as long as you're alive, you can still make amends and do good deeds in the hope of attaining the Pleasure of Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ .

here is a response I've already made to someone asking me how to let go of shame for past sins, but these are things you can do (in general, of course) but after making a mistake/sinning:

salat al-tawbah (the prayer of repentance) immediately this is the nawafil prayer for when one falls into sin and it is usually two raka'ats. pray this immediately after committing a sin with sincere repentance, putting that guilt into this prayer and weep and ask for forgiveness. regarding this prayer, the Prophet ﷺ has said “There is no slave of Allah who commits a sin then purifies himself well and stands and prays two rakahs, then asks Allah for forgiveness, but Allah will forgive him". (Hisn al-Muslim 140). subhanallah.

sadaqah ◦ give money to charity, create a sadaqah box if you do not already have one and put money inside to increase your good deeds over your bad ones. "Know they not that Allah is He who accepts repentance from His servants and takes their charity, and that Allah is He Who is Oft-Returning with compassion, and is Merciful?" (9:104) - Surah Taubah itself. ◦ if it is a repetitive sin, then say to yourself that every time you commit the sin, you have to put a certain fixed amount in. for example, £10 every time you do xyz and you must put it in every time. keep it at a high amount and it will help you in the future to stop, Insha'Allah.

constant dhikr ◦ i cannot even truly express in words the benefits of doing istighfar in a way that will truly sum it up. it washes away the sins of man to the point where his heart will be purified. it is so important to immerse yourself in doing istighfar day and night as it can protect you and Allah is always prepared to hear the cries of taubah from His people. not a single soul can claim that they can absolve themselves of sin on their own, as only Allah's Mercy can release a man of his sins. Prophets were well aware of this fact, so they also continually sought forgiveness of Allah. make it a plan to recite أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ وَأَتُوبُ إِلَيْهِ (astagfirullah waatubu alaiyhi, I seek Allah's forgiveness and I turn to Him in repentance) 100 times daily ◦ i also love the app Azkar - it has morning, evening, sleep and waking up dhikr's that you can just recite while reading them on your phone that has the arabic, transliteration and translation. it is so easy for anyone to follow and so helpful in remembering Allah daily - i highly recommend everyone to download this app

make an action plan after committing the particular sin, make an action plan moving forwards of something you're going to do to seek the Pleasure of Allah and His forgiveness. for example, you tell yourself/Him that you will now wake up for tahajjud every morning for the next 2 weeks (and actually do it) and ask Allah to accept this as an apology and to have Mercy on you. that way, you can even build it as a habit and continue after.

nawafil (voluntary) prayers along with the fard prayers start praying voluntary prayers, like: - 4 raka'at's before asr prayer (The Prophet ﷺ said: "May Allah have mercy upon a man who prays four before Al-Asr." (at-Tirmidhi 430) - tahajjud - 2 raka'at's after the 2 raka'ats of sunnah after zuhr - duha prayer (after sunrise and before zuhr time) etc. doing these extra prayers on top of the obligatory 5 daily prayers will give you more blessings and help you weigh more on the righteous side of the scale

reading Qur'an daily with lengthy recitation this has so many blessings. it's a form of dhikr, the remembrance of Allah, and it helps you to gain His pleasure by doing so. make sure to also read it with translation if arabic is not your first language / a language you understand so that you can listen to what Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ is saying and reflect and act on it too.

may Allah, Al-Ghafoor Ar-Raheem, forgive us all for our sins, accept our good deeds and have Mercy on us all, Allahumma Ameen.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friend that our mutual friend doesn't care for us as much as we care about her?

'Harriet' (20F), 'Daisy' (19F) and I (20F) have been friends since we were kids. 6 years ago Harriet was forced to leave the country - we planned on all meeting again once we were adults and could afford it.

Daisy has wanted to visit Harriet for over a year now, but I've been reluctant because Harriet never shows the same interest. She never seems very excited when the topic is brought up, and I also find it questionable that we should have to visit her rather than the other way around, considering there are two of us here and one of her over there.

Daisy admits that Harriet doesn't reply to her texts that much, and I barely talk to Harriet at all nowadays. It does make me sad but I don't want to spend my money going to see someone who doesn't really want to see me. Daisy has been abandoned and let down by her friends time and time again, and basically never gives up on people. She has a lot of insecurities about people secretly hating her, which is why I could never bring myself to tell her how I really felt. After all, I don't think that Harriet hates us, I just think she's moved on with her life.

About a week ago I found out that about a year after Harriet was forced to leave, she returned to the country without telling anyone - I guess this was to visit family. I found out from a mutual friend who lives in the same country as Harriet. I was shocked and angry that she hadn't said anything - I would have been prepared to travel to whatever part of the country she was staying in just to see her. I was especially shocked because she was still very close to Daisy and I at this point, so I didn't understand why she would lie. She would constantly talk about how badly she wanted to see us, but was in the same country as us and didn't say anything!

Yesterday Daisy brought up the topic of visiting Harriet again, and with the information that I now have, I found myself unable to keep my thoughts to myself. I told Daisy that Harriet has moved on and that we shouldn't waste our money on her, and that if she cared that much she would make more of an effort to talk to us, or even visit us herself. I also told her about my recent discovery.

Daisy was really sad and started crying over the phone, saying that she didn't understand why no one wanted to stay friends with her. I felt awful and did my best to comfort her, explaining to her that I didn't think Harriet had any bad feelings towards her and that she had just grown distant over time. This didn't really seem to help though and she hung up and hasn't been online since.

To be honest I'm still confused about a lot of things, like why Harriet lied about not being able to visit before, but I still think that what I said was fair. I don't want Daisy to waste her affection on someone who doesn't feel the same way. I will admit that I hold a lot of resentment towards Harriet due to messed up things she has done to me in the past - however, I don't think I've been blinded by my anger towards her, I think the conclusion I came to was fair and unbiased. Still, I feel guilty, since what I said seems to have badly affected Daisy, and maybe I'm biased against Harriet without knowing? So, AITA?

[guapoduoshipper]

q!Cellbit has already noticed that something is off. But that doesn't mean he's falling out of love with q!Roier, let's try to see things from his perspective because then we'll notice that this is not what is happening:

q!Cellbit returned from purgatory, after which he himself said he had been fighting and killing to survive, every day the same thing, for weeks, months? he doesn't know. He lost track of time, time is a spiral, it seemed like an eternity but in the blink of an eye, he was back. Everything is still confusing and he doesn't remember things well, so after returning from almost hell he finally meets his husband again, smiling, happy? q!Roier knows how to hide his pain very well behind a smile, so after asking how he is and explaining that the choice to stay in purgatory was made because he thought that q!Roier would be better off away from him... he has a confirmation of this ?

This specific scene has a lot to analyze, first when q!Cellbit says he felt saudade [the strong feeling of missing, longing for someone or something] of q!Roier and apologize, he makes a joke and says "You left me alone culero", probably Doied thought that would be the most appropriate and safest reaction to fake being q!Roier, right? Maybe that would be correct if it weren't about such a serious situation that lasted so long, because we know that q!Roier told Richas that he felt like he was just existing, he was preparing a plan and doing everything to find his husband so that would definitely not be the appropriate reaction that q!Roier would have to this situation. Then q!Cellbit says "I thought you'd be better off without me and you..." at this moment his voice breaks, despite believing in what he's saying he doesn't want it to be real. "You're okay, aren't you?" it's as if you can perfectly feel the mix of sadness and fear that q!Cellbit's voice transmitted when saying this. "Yes, I'm fine! I'm feeling good, I'm feeling new!" - "See? Maybe that was the best thing to do" the confirmation that q!Cellbit was terrified of having, his sad tone of voice when he said that maybe being away from him was what brought the joy back to q!Roier it's heartbreaking. But q!Roier [Doied] doesn't seem to want to talk about these things for long, changing the subject, speaking only superficially or just going somewhere else.

Doied once again seems to have understood well how q!Roier works most of the time and with most people, but that's not all he is, that's not the essence of q!Roier. Doied cannot fake the deeper layers that make up q!Roier's existence, he becomes just a puppet with ready-made lines and repeated actions. And maybe that's why in a way he's also avoiding deep talks with q!Cellbit because if there's anyone capable of noticing that something isn't right with his husband, it's q!Cellbit... and that's exactly what's happening. Doied needs to divert topics and tries to move away because if he spends more time around him, the facade will become too obvious and this was shown to be true after two big things that Doied failed to replicate, the aspects of q!Roier's personality, and q!Cellbit noticed.

1- q!Roier would never attack q!Cellbit to hurt him. They already had a pvp fight, in which q!Roier lied about the result to make q!Cellbit feel better, they give each other shoulder pushes, light slaps on each other's arms and are very close physically, always talking close and with physical contact, they are known for always having their foreheads together when talking and this hasn't happened even once yet. During purgatory q!Roier really refused to kill q!Cellbit, constantly nodding his head to say no and stopping attacking but when he killed q!Cellbit, it was something that was soon explained as it was part of the event and it wasn't "real deaths" since things remained with them after they died, but even so, after this event q!Roier stopped smiling and demonstrated how much that affected him. There's even a moment that could almost be a parallel, in one of the days of purgatory, q!Roier had a very strong sword and asked q!Cellbit if he wanted it to be tested on him, this time q!Roier [Doied] simply started attacking q!Cellbit without even saying anything, and after q!Cellbit got very confused and said "Well... if that makes you happy", Doied chooses the safer answer "It's just a joke!"

2- q!Roier is extremely protective of his family. Upon seeing Pepito and Richas fighting a boss and q!Cellbit asking for help, Doied was just making jokes and took a while to actually try to help, something that q!Roier would never do, he would be the first to ask them to stay away and would be fighting to protect them.

So with everything that's happening now, what is q!Cellbit feeling and thinking? It's necessary to keep in mind that the key issue in all of this is something that is impossible for q!Cellbit to discover on its own. He doesn't even know about Doied's existence, q!Roier doesn't remember anything about his past and nothing was ever said about body swap, despite knowing that the federation carries out absurd tests and experiments, nothing like that had ever happened. However, there is something similar that may be considered in the future, the existence of something like q!Quackity and ElQuackity, perhaps at some point q!Cellbit will begin to suspect that perhaps this is not his husband because no matter how much he hates himself and has a very low self esteem, by now he must be confused as to why his husband is acting like this, but the love he feels for q!Roier is something that saved him, so it is strong enough to survive everything. I keep asking myself, what will happen when he discovers that the person in front of him has the same smile, the same eyes, the same body but the soul is not the same, that's not his soulmate.

[cheersyouslxg]

╰┈➤ 💀 Ghost 💀 Word count: 2k ish? ┆ ┆ MDNI - 18+┆ ┆ »»———- "I like you in those clothes, but I think I’d like you better in nothing at all." ———-««

»»———-  ”I just can’t control myself around you… especially when you’re wearing that”———-«« Triggers: Smut, mentions of ghosts past (trauma and SA briefly) ⊹ Comments, feedback, thoughts and reblogs are encouraged! ⊹

He didn’t come home for long, so any time you were able to spend with him was cherished. Even if he wasn’t always the most affectionate, it was impossible not to tell that Ghost had his own ways of showing his adoration for you. All it took was an open mind and some patience to start noticing the little gems of his appreciation. 

Touch had always been a trigger for him for something you didn’t know the origin of. All you knew was that his past was a haunted house of memories he did not wish to ever open the door on… so you left it alone, already knowing the doorknob would not budge if you even tried. It was better to ignore in the long run anyways, less of a chance to hurt your feelings as if you thought of yourself higher than Ghost’s opinion. He didn’t trust people easily… That was all you needed to know- all you were allowed to know. You had also learned very quickly that touching him without warning was a sure fire way of having him shut down and exit the room you were in. 

That didn’t mean he couldn’t touch you… No, he enjoyed it very much. It was just another factor reminding him the already obvious sentiment that he had every right to you. You trusted him wholly, completely, and in some futile attempt to gain his trust- you put out every green flag you had in your arsenal to scream at him that you had no plans to hurt him or break the trust you asked for. It was a snail race but a race you had no intention of not finishing. Eventually, you would prove to him that you were worthy of letting into his life further.

In the meantime, you were content to continue planting your seeds, brick by brick building the foundation of this relationship. When he was gone, you waited for him to return, picking up the habit of sleeping in his clothing to trick your brain into thinking he was next to you in bed as the scent of his shirts mingled in the sheets you had been forced to wash far too long than recommended but you couldn’t bare the thought of your bed not smelling like him. When he was home, you loved every second he spent with you, even if it wasn’t the most ideal relationship to others. You knew he was trying. That was enough. 

He’d been home for a week, but you still found his shirt to replace your day clothes after your shower. Besides it being compulsory, you had every intention of once again convincing your boyfriend to touch you, to have the hardened stare of a ghost melt when ogling over your frame. It wasn’t hard to do, but the effort was worth it even if he’d have you bent over the kitchen table on any given day wearing a potato sack. It was a dress which fell just past your backend, teasing the only other person in the house with a peek of your rump when you lifted your arms too much. Underneath were panties he favored for the little fabric covering what was rightfully his to have. To say you were prepared to face the consequences of your own actions was absolutely right. In fact, you were counting on submitting to these consequences. 

His eyes immediately snapped to the silent entrance from the bathroom to the bedroom. It was impossible to sneak up on him, and you’d given up on trying long ago. It only assisted how safe you felt in your home, especially when he was there to protect you. He was already in bed, prepared to look for a movie you both could watch together (well, mostly you. He never enjoyed movies much. They were always so tedious in his opinion. But being next to you in the same room was enough to stare at a screen for two hours.). You climbed in next to him, noting the way his eyes lingered over the drifting fabric of his shirt over your thighs, flashing him as you got comfortable underneath the covers. He wasn’t the only one who had learned how to read expressions… and with the mask his eyes were all you had to go off of. 

“Whatcha thinking tonight? Comedy? Thriller?” You snatched the remote from the bedside table, loading Netflix onto the screen while he shrugged. You already knew his answer, and you chimed in as well as he said, ‘Whatever you want.’ His gaze locked the side of your face, and you turned to give him a cheeky smile. His brow raised, nodding slowly. 

“Alright, alright…” He mumbled, reaching for your hand to retrieve the device. “I’ll pick then, yeah?” The normally dead tone in his voice was resurrected with a dry sarcasm, only pulling the corners of your lips into a bigger grin. 

“Oh, I dunno… What if I don’t like what you pick, Si? Doubt you know any good genres with how little you spend watching films. It’s all I do, so I have good taste.” 

He looked unimpressed with your answer, leaning in closer. Still with the remote in his hand, he pinched the fabric of your shirt with a soft tug, eyes flicking down and back up. “I like you in those clothes, but I think I’d like you better in nothing at all. What does that say about my taste, lovie?” He whispered. You swallowed, the butterflies he’d grown in your belly since the first night you met him flaring up and beating their wings against its walls.

“Smells like you. I wear them when you’re gone.” Your voice had dropped to the same octave as his, glancing down to the mask covering his lips. He hummed, head dipping in an acknowledging nod. 

“Well, I’m here now. You don’t need it.” the remote was dropped somewhere in the mess of sheets, his hand purchasing the hem of the shirt and sliding up your thigh. Warmth flooded your body, whining softly as it slid over your hip, the other coming to collect the opposite side and lift it up and over your head. You didn’t fight it, wanting the shirt to find home on the floor since you put it on your body. As much as you craved the heat against your palms, you refrained yet from touching him, clutching the sheets beside you. 

“Lift your mask. Please, I want a kiss.” As close as you could inch without touching him, you did, pleading with a begging gaze that met his own once he moved his attention from your bare chest to your eyes.

 Brown eyes narrowed only slightly, his shoulders relaxing. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Gimme a kiss then.” Ghost’s head tilted back, exposing his neck further to allow you to (very carefully) curl the mask over his mouth. You never touched flesh until leaning in to meet his lips, melting into his touch as he pulled your hips closer into him. In all the best ways he reminded you how much he desired you while being the one to always initiate contact. He wanted you with every fiber of his being, and he expressed that every chance he felt comfortable to do so. 

He was a gentle lover at heart, never wanting to ever have to take responsibility for hurting you in ways that so many had hurt him. He’d mentioned briefly something in his past resulting in having issues with hurting you in any way. It was endearing the way he went into detail to explain how if he ever went too far to tell him immediately and he would stop. That had never happened, and you were sure it never would, especially with how eager he was to take hold of the back of your thigh and guide you onto your back and invite himself between your legs. His kiss never ceased, only moving from your lips across your jaw and down your neck. Each kiss sparked another, more hungry one until his mouth was a burning fire roaring across your melting, willing flesh to be devoured by him.

It almost surprised you when he reached for your hand, circling your wrist gently as he gave attention to your chest with chaste kisses, guiding your fingertips to his shoulder. This was his way of silently giving permission to touch him. You’d learned his weak spots, placing he tended to freeze up when you attempted to touch there, and these spots were where you avoided. His shoulders were a neutral zone, though treading lower towards his ribs was diving straight into red where he would immediately withdraw the moment was ruined. You’d only had to make that mistake once to never do it again. Instead, you dug your nails into corded muscle as his mouth circled your nipple, tongue laving over the hardening bud. He knew the whine you emitted would come, knowing you better than you knew yourself and how to make you come undone under his touch. His hips were greedily seeking friction against dampened fabric, grinding his bulge covered in sweatpants with a muffled groan. 

A hand smoothed over the back of his neck, slowly moving to not spook him as you kept his mouth on your breast. “God, please, Simon…” you moaned hotly, rolling your hips with as much enthusiasm as he offered, gritting your teeth as he chuckled. Of course it could never be that easy… He was nothing if not a massive fucking tease. One hand rolled your nipple not assaulted by his lips between his fingers, the other trailing slowly round your thigh to curl around the fabric resting against your hips, tugging at the material to prompt you to lift your hips and discard them. 

“S’not fair, Si…” you whined, completely nude in front of him when he still was fully clothed, praying tonight wasn’t an evening when he decided to not let you see him in all his painfully well-built glory. Control was something he enjoyed thoroughly. Leaving you vulnerable while he removed nothing more than his cock from his pants was a way in which he gained a tighter grip on the situation. 

Tonight he pitied your sweet cries, pulling away from your chest long enough to discard the fabric on his shoulders. Each time it was marvel just how much of his flesh was adorned with raised scar tissue. You’d spend hours kissing each one if he would have allowed you, though you knew better than to explore too far from the safe zones. Nails dragged slowly across his shoulders, reaching as far as you could across his back only to retreat and begin again. Never would you waste a chance to feel him more intimately. 

It didn’t take much more whining and begging from you to have Ghost fully nude with bodies pressed tightly together as you welcomed him between your legs. With his long distant missions ranging from a week to months, his resolve lasted only as long as any man’s would with a prolonged period of abstinence keeping them from their partner. His girth stretched you deliciously every single time he had his way with you, hot needy whimpers spurring him on as he offered you a few breaths to adjust to his size.  

It was a short lived adjustment, his patience wearing thin with the urge to claim and mark what was his. Ghost praised each moan you gifted him with kisses and groping hands holding tightly to your hips as he drilled into you unabashedly. The neighbors down the block would know his name solely from your cries, wrapping your legs around his waist in a futile attempt to slow down his driving pace. Once Simon was set on his ways, it was impossible to deprive him of completion, especially when his eyes were clouded with lust. 

 ”I just can’t control myself around you… especially when you’re wearing that” he murmured into your ear, hot breath fanning your neck he nipped and marked with indents of his teeth. It was a show of possession, something you would use again and again if you promised each consequence to equal the pleasure building in the pit of your stomach. 

“Fuck, Si, please….” Each beg drove his rhythm faster and deeper almost as if he was intent to splinter the bed beneath you. Rough hands sought your thighs, lifting your legs how he wished towards your chest to offer him a better position to fill you further, dragging his cock repeatedly within your walls, hitting every mark no man could ever dream of replicating. Simon was one of a kind, the only one who could make you feel so dirty yet so adored at once. 

“That’s it… good girl… squeeze my cock just like that.” Ghost’s voice rasped, stalling thrusts announcing how close he was to finishing. His hand dipped between your bodies becoming one, thumb feathering against your swollen bundles of nerves to make sure you came before he did. You couldn’t recall a time where you didn’t cum before Simon unless it was a punishment for acting like a brat… But even so, you were never left unsatisfied. “Almost there, little bunny? I want you to cum for me. You can do that for me, eh? I know you can.” His smirk was heard within his cocky drawl, eyes hidden from your view as he marked your chest with blooming flowers of purple.

He overwhelmed every sense and nerve within your body, the tight bundle of pressure inflating and driving you up towards the crest. When he spoke again you were thrusted over the edge with a single command, his husked tone and lips meeting yours to inhale your moans of pleasure sending you in a spiral. You came, and he was soon to follow, just like he always was. He was there through it all, soothing your spasming body with an ear full of praises and gentle caresses down your thighs. As you came down from your high you made a mental note to wear his clothing more often.

[probably-writing-x]

Armour - Chapter Three

Summary: Having your heart broken was one thing. But Rafe watching somebody break your heart? That was something nobody could prepare for.

Warnings: mentions of a toxic relationship, cursing, i think that’s everything?

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long to come out !! I went away for a few days and had the busiest week ever but I’m back y’all and I love you <3. Also, I love this storyyyyy !!

———

Rafe’s plan had only been to stay for a few days. And those ‘few’ days were rapidly coming to an end. You’d noticed it first when you’d made your way downstairs and his bag was now packed beside the couch, a duffle only half full. There was a pair of shoes sat next to it and his jacket slung over the top - likely for when he got back to New York. He hadn’t mentioned to you about him leaving, hadn’t even really spoken about New York at all - when you asked him how life was in the city, he rolled his eyes and said ‘you make me sound so pretentious’. You hadn’t asked again and it hadn’t ever come up in conversation, and so you’d just assumed he didn’t want to talk about it yet. But with his bag seemingly waiting for him to go, the realisation dawned on you that you now might not get the chance.

“Good morning!” Rafe looks up as you walk through to the kitchen, “Sleep well?”

You smile, his face is more tanned now than when he arrived, the sun working to return to him, “Yeah, all good. Did you?”

He nods, “Yeah, I just had to get up early to see a couple of people.”

Yesterday night had felt so normal. You’d swam until the sun had fully disappeared, and Rafe spent the next half an hour pretending he knew the stars in the sky, though you were certain he only named one of the constellations right - one of the ones that everyone knows. The pair of you had decided to leave when you were both shivering and you’d lost all feeling in your feet. You’d wrapped towels around you and he’d chased you when you stole his. You showered and changed into the warmest clothes you could find, sat on the couch with Rafe and a mug of tea as the night passed, both of you eventually giving in to sleep when your eyes felt too heavy to beat.

“Do you fancy pancakes?” He suggests, “I want pancakes.”

“As long as you’re better at making them by now,” You point out, walking around the side of the kitchen island.

“Hey! Cut me some slack okay? I was like eighteen!”

“Still old enough to know how to make pancakes,” You shake your head, opening a couple of the cupboards to look for ingredients.

The last time the two of you made pancakes together was when you were both in high school - your options were either revising for finals or finding something else to distract yourselves. You’d opted for the latter. You’d walked the long way to the shop and bought ingredients, whisked up a batch of pancake batter and spilt flour all over the counter. Rafe had been in charge of cooking them, but he’d left the heat too high on the pan and used way too much oil, and the first attempt at a pancake resulted in batter spattering up from the pan and flying into the air. He’d yelled at you jokingly to take cover and had pulled you under the shelter of his arms, your head crushed against his chest as the two of you laughed. You hadn’t thought about it too much then - you’d been dating James by that point anyway. But, now, the thought of Rafe’s arms around you like that made your heart swell just a little.

“Okay what do we need?” Rafe asks, rummaging in one of the cupboards to pull out a big bowl and a whisk.

You lay out the few ingredients on the countertop and start to pour rough measurements of them into the bowl, waiting as Rafe whisks them around, some flour splashing over the lip of the bowl.

“Rafe! Careful!” You laugh, hitting at his arm.

“See? Don’t hit me, you made it worse,” He shakes his head, “So messy (Y/N).”

You roll your eyes and take out a pan, pouring a tiny bit of oil onto the surface and swirling it around.

“Okay so, from experience, we need to be ready to run,” Rafe comments, pouring a circle of batter into the pan.

“So, this is going better than last time,” You smile, “It’s good to see we’ve both got better at doing this.”

“Alright, flip it!” He encourages, watching you patiently.

“Oh, god, no, I’m terrible at flipping them,” You shake your head, “Can you do it?”

Rafe laughs and steps around so that he is stood behind you, his arms wrapping around either side. His hands fold themselves over yours on the handle of the pan, his chest flush against your back.

“We’ll both do it,” He mumbles, his chin above your head to watch the sight in front of the two of you, “Ready?”

He tightens his grip around your hands and lifts the pan up, both of you watching as the pancake flips. It lands on its other side but one of the sides folds upwards on itself.

“Okay so we’re still not the best at making pancakes but we’re definitely getting better.”

You manage to make up enough pancakes for three each and a small pile of mini ones because Rafe always says it’s the best bit when you share them between you. You put maple syrup on yours and he puts whipped cream on his and the two of you sit beside each other on the kitchen island, your elbows bumping as you cut into the fluffy pancakes.

“So, what are your plans for today?” You ask him, wiping your mouth on a napkin.

“Well, I should pro-“

“Hey!” Sarah interrupts, coming through to the kitchen.

You’re sure her bump has grown even in the days you’d been here, and every time you saw her you got a new ounce of excitement for seeing her become a Mom - a day you’d spoken about since the two of you were in pigtails.

“So, John B’s got work to do today,” Sarah explains, “But I need help picking out a crib for the nursery. What do you say we leave in like thirty minutes?”

You nod, “Yeah, of course, I’ll come with you. I’ll go and get ready now.”

Your eyes catch Rafe’s for a brief second and you can see something in them that you hadn’t noticed before, like an odd uncertainty or something close to a guilt. But you offer him a smile and he smiles back before his eyes flick away from you, back down to the fork in his hands.

~~~

Within the hour, you and Sarah are already at the only store on the islands that could actually sell cribs - though the options were limited and you were sure it would be a better choice to accept JJ’s offer of making one for her. You pick up a few other supplies whilst you’re there though - a wooden decoration for the nursery wall, a book shelve with clouds on either end, a few story books with no more than five words per page. Eventually, you give up on the rest, and go to the coffee shop together, taking a seat at a different table from the one you’d been at with James.

“So, did the talk with James make you feel better about things?” Sarah asks, stirring a spoon around her decaff coffee.

You take a deep breath, “I think so… I don’t know.”

She smiles a little, “I figured.”

“I just-“ You shake your head, “I still don’t get it, you know? The reasons he’s giving me, the way he’s acting - I still don’t know how he thinks he’s made the right decision by throwing away a nine year relationship,” You spill, words seeming to tumble into the space between you.

“Well, when you saw him did you want to go back to him?”

You stop then, letting the question sit.

“If he’d have told you then that he wanted to get back together with you, would you have gone?”

The words settle and you still have no response. There’s not a single thought in your mind that could string a sentence together. When you’d seen James yesterday, he wasn’t a boy who knew you. His hands weren’t outstretched to hold your heart, his eyes not flooded with an admiration he would only have for you, his brain not ticking over to remember every detail you’d told him. And you hadn’t reached for him either. You hadn’t felt that pull to return, the kind that made you fight back tears, made your heart feel like it broke a little more in your chest, your hopes sink a little further down into your stomach. It was like there was a wall - one you hadn’t much noticed before. And you realise it all then. You didn’t want to go back to him. And when your mind tried to really consider it, there was only one face you could imagine wanting to go back to…

“(Y/N)?”

You hadn’t realised your eyes filling with tears, the kind that you could place bets on falling or disappearing. You hadn’t noticed your hands gripping too tightly onto the cup on the table in front of you. Or the way Sarah looked at you like she’d just watched a piece of your facade crumble away right in front of her.

“I’m sorry, what wa-“ You shake your head and the tears choose to disappear this time, “Is it okay if we head home?”

She frowns a little as is in worry but nods, “Of course, yeah, of course we can.”

Your drink wasn’t gone, the bill not printed, your stomach rumbled in the absence of food - but there was only one thing on your mind. And you’re in the car to go home before you have the chance to think again.

Sarah chooses not to talk on the drive, the light hum of music between you filling the air enough until she pulls into the driveway. But it’s weird. There’s an odd gut feeling when you get out of the car - like an inevitability you hadn’t considered. You suppress it for enough time that the key turns in the lock and Sarah steps into the house, you following behind.

Your eyes flick to it immediately. The space beside the couch, on the floor just below the armrest. Where a half-full duffle bag and a jacket and a pair of shoes should sit. But nothing is there. Your eyes then move to the end table beside the couch - where a phone and a tangled charging cable and a glass of untouched water should sit. But nothing is there. And the couch - sheets folded atop a single pillow in the middle. All traces of him seemingly wiped away.

Sarah looks back at you, setting the shopping bag down onto the counter, and she realises it instantly, “He didn’t tell you?”

“He-“ You clear your throat, shaking your head, “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I’m so sorry (Y/N), I thought you’d know,” She comes back over to you, eyes seeking to find your gaze, “He told me he wasn’t leaving until tonight, so I figured we’d be back before he left. I don’t know wh-“

“He’s just gone?” You half-cough to get the block out of your throat, “He can’t just-“

“Look, he can’t be leaving yet, maybe you could catch him before he goes?” Sarah pushes the car keys into your hands, “Take the truck.”

Your heart sinks and for a moment you rethink it all. Maybe you should let him go. It would be easier. He’d leave now, maybe come back when the baby is born, maybe you’d see him again at Christmas, and again at the baby’s first birthday party, and again and again on these little pocketed trips where you made no attempt to catch up, and instead accepted every inevitability of falling back into each other’s comfort. You’d sneak out and swim at sunset with him again, laugh about the little things that he remembered, and let him leave without a prolonged goodbye. He’d go back to his life and you’d stay in yours.

No.

Not this time, at least.

~~~

You’re not sure where you’re driving to when you first get in the truck, feeling out of place behind the wheel, your head pounding with the focus of getting to a place you had no idea about.

You drive around the road leading from the side of Sarah and John B’s house, winding down until it trails alongside the docks. It forces another snippet back into your memory - one of the hottest days on the island when a killer heatwave had swept over. Rafe had stolen the keys to his father’s speedboat and the two of you had gone out together. You’d gone as far out into the water that half of the fuel would take you and stayed out there all day. It was too hot and you’d overheated almost instantly on the dock of the boat, diminishing your food and drink supply too soon, diving off into the water and staying there until you could come up with a thousand reasons to go back. It was the last time you’d seen Rafe before you moved to college. You’d got back to the dock and an endless string of missed calls from James - telling you that you should’ve been home an hour ago. Rafe had smiled and told you to leave, saying goodbyes weren’t necessary.

That’s when you stop the car. And you get out without overthinking once again, shutting the door behind you. The sound awakens something in the seemingly empty space. And within seconds your eyes divert themselves directly to the barely visible along one of the old docks now half-covered with the overgrowing of reeds. He’s wearing a t-shirt, slightly stretched over the muscles of his back, hanging a little looser around his stomach. Without seeing his face, it could be the old version of himself - younger, less of a shadow of stubble around his jaw, less of that serious adult look about him. But it doesn’t take him long to turn around, as if he can practically feel you from even metres away from him.

“Let me guess, you want me to steal my father’s boat again?” He calls over to you, his words catching a little on the breeze before they reach you.

You don’t have it in you to humour him now - all you could think about was the empty space next to the couch, where his bag should have been. The bag that was now at his feet.

“You thought you were just going to leave?” You return, squinting against the sun to focus on him as you start to walk the length of the dock.

Rafe smiles a little and looks down at his feet, “Goodbyes have never been necessary.”

“Don’t give me that shit,” You jab back, stopping on the dock still further from him.

Your eyes focus on the wood beneath you - 18 planks between the two of you, feeling like it was now impossible to be any closer.

“Why were you going to go?” You swallow the lump in your throat, “Wh- why weren’t you going to tell me?”

He scratches a hand at the back of his head, his eyes not meeting yours, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“Say goodbye.”

“(Y/N),” Rafe winces, his eyes finally lifting to they meet yours.

“Look Rafe I-“

“I’m going back to New York,” He interjects, “My flight is today, I’m going back. You’ll be here and I’ll be there. Same as always.”

You swallow every word you’d thought of saying to him on the drive over, every thought that had cycled through your brain of how he would respond. None of that seemed to matter anymore.

“We’ll be five hundred miles away from each other again. It’s great being back here but my life isn’t in the Outer Banks anymore. I know you’re here again, but this place isn’t for me, there’s nothing for me here, I don’t want to stay here,” He clenches his jaw, “I-“

“You’re going,” You state coldly, wrapping your arms around yourself, “I get it. I just wanted you to say goodbye.”

Rafe swallows the lump in his throat, watching the way your face shifts away from him, how you practically recoil away. He’d never seen you respond like that to him, and it boils a sickening feeling in his stomach. He wants to reach out to you, to wrap his arms around you, to tell you to come with him, to tell him he’d stay here - to say anything that would remove every ounce of the hurt he’d just caused.

You keep your eyes on the planks between you, the eighteen spaces feeling further apart than ever now. This place isn’t for me. There’s nothing for me here. Is that really what he thought? Did he think of himself as the big shot city guy and you as the girl that had just come home to nothing? Was that all he could ever really think of you? Was that what he’d been thinking this entire week; that he’d outgrown you?

“You better get going if you want to make it to your flight in time,” You point out, “Wouldn’t want to miss it.”

You can feel his eyes on you and you glance up to find them glassy as he watches you, his hair falling down just slightly and casting shadows over his forehead. He swallows and it bobs his adam’s apple in his throat.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, I guess I should,” He glances around his space and picks up the bag beside his ankles, shifting his grip around the handle, “(Y/N)…”

You keep your eyes on him and the focused gaze makes both of you silent. It’s like a thousand unspoken words float in the air between you, catching on the hot air and whisking away as soon as the breeze returns to cool them down. Rafe had been there when you needed him, like he always was. And when you’d first left for college, with James and a new future planned, you hadn’t thought about needing Rafe. When you’d come home, it was like a tiny battery charge if you got to see him - pieces of your youth returning. But you were living separate lives. And, now, as Rafe was leaving again, you felt like you still needed him.

That couldn’t be how things were. He couldn’t only exist in your space when you needed him. And that would be something you’d have to figure out on your own.

“Have a safe flight,” You smile, wrapping your arms around yourself and turning around.

You walk and you don’t look back, as much as each step tries to convince you to. You don’t. You can’t.

Part of you wants to hear his steps on the planks behind you, the sound of the bag thudding against the wood, the sound of him breathless, turning you around.

But he doesn’t.

You get further away and the air seems to get cooler, less dense. There’s a weight on your chest that doesn’t let up, but you force yourself to breathe in and breathe out once, twice, three times. If you could breathe without him, you’d be fine. If you could walk without him, you’d be fine. And, piece by piece, those things would all become possible, all without him.

~~~

It had been two weeks since Rafe had left. He hadn’t texted, though you’d overheard from Sarah that he’d landed safely and that he’d be back again in a few months.

The past two weeks had been full of doing things on your own, for yourself. And it had been flooded with realisation, decisions you wouldn’t have made before.

“What are you talking about? What do you mean?”

Sarah’s sat across from you next to John B, both of them dumbfounded at your announcement. He was sat back in his chair with his arms folded, her leaning forward with her hands on the kitchen counter in front of her, as if steadying herself.

“I’m moving to London,” You repeat, more sure of yourself than you’d been in a long time.

“I don’t- I don’t understand,” She shakes her head, “You’re just going?”

“What about the logistics of everything?” John B frowns, “Isn’t there stuff you have to think about with this?”

“Well, it’s only short term for now, so I could get all the visa stuff sorted just on short term, I’m moving into an Air BnB for the time being, and then I’ll decide if I want to move somewhere more permanent. But, right now, I just know I need to go,” You nod assertively, “And, you know, what’s wrong with London?”

“How long will you be gone for?” Sarah frowns, “It’s going to be so weird not having you here.”

“I know, but it’s only a flight away, right?” You encourage, “I’ll come back, I promise.”

“Why do you want to leave?” John B asks, looking at you as if it were a stranger in front of him.

“I’ve had my entire life planned out since I was like seventeen. I fell in love with James, I moved away with him, I graduated with him, I moved back here with him, everything in my life has been so determined. And he took that from me. And ever since then I’d been using the excuse of Rafe being here to stop me from actually admitting to anything that had happened,” You swallow the lump in your throat, “Rafe is important to me, and he always will be. But I can’t rely on him to piece me back together. And I can’t rely on you guys either. So, I need just a few months. Just to reset.”

Sarah takes a deep breath like she is finally accepting what you’ve said, “Okay, so you’re going to London. And you’re going to come back?”

“I’ll come back,” You encourage, “I just can’t be here.”

———

Taglist: @viianey @baby19sthings @tsokaro @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @starkeylover

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Shared Interests [Pt.3]

Daryl Dixon x Reader [Pt.1][Pt.2] [Pt.4]

Daryl's pack loves parties, so you agree to throw one in honor of your daughter.

While you loved having the pack around for celebrations, now was a little too early.

Baby Lily was born all but two days ago and the family members started trickling in already to bring gifts and talk about the big party to celebrate the little one.

Right now all you wanted was rest.

You had allowed the calmest pack mother to come help around the house and teach you about taking care of an infant werewolf, which Daryl also found very helpful seeing he had no clue on how to be a father.

You learned their feeding habits were different from human babies and were shown how the little one easily chowed down small pieces of meat at only a few days old.

Daryl's pack had proven to be a persistant bunch, each member coming over to drop off gifts ranging from full ready meals to toys for the pup. One of Daryl's cousins, the one who had built the crib you had now, had offered to build a kiddie bed too. "for when the kid got too big for her crib."

It was still weird to be so welcomed from day one. Even while being the odd one out you were immediately seen as a part of the pack.

So here you sat with Daryl, discussing when to give the pack their party. It was a tradition and you weren't going to withold them from celebrating. You just had to set some ground rules.

You blessed the weather being nice enough to celebrate outside and planned all the necessary things in record time.

Daryl suggested two weeks would be enough for everyone to have dropped by for their initial visit so the focus could be more on getting together instead of hovering around the newborn.

Laura, your cousin in-law slash house help told you pack stories of herself and other mothers.

Surrounded by their closest pack members even while the pups were being born. All the ladies had seem multiple litters being born because of how normal it was to share those moments. But she also knew Daryl wasn't one of the people who needed folk around him every day. After admitting on one hand she found it sad to not be there when your child was born, she also understood you were human and had other preferences. Besides the fact that your pup came unexpected, a few days early and in the middle of the night.

Two weeks of slow visitation and party prep passed and you had fallen into a pleasant routine around the pup that worked for both you and Daryl. But you started noticing the leftover benefits from carying a wolf pup were fading because the bitemarks left around your nipples weren't healing as quickly anymore.

Daryl had caught your discomfort and made quick work of cornering you for a chat.

"Yer mind's loud. Hear it buzzin' through the walls." You were captured between his frame and the kitchen counter, unable to escape and admit your annoyingly loud thoughts.

"I'm just sore. The wolfblood is filtering out of my body I think." You automatically sulked into him at the annoying confession. You were so used to the faster healing and improved endurance you were sad your weak human self was returning.

"How 'bout we have a serious chat after the party. Cuz I don' want ya feelin' like yer weak just cus yer a human."

You gave him a soft kiss and agreed to wait for the party to be over. Now focusing on getting everything ready for tomorrow.

The day started slow like any other. You were blessed with a child that slept throigh the night as long as she got fed before bed.

While you prepared breakfast Daryl made his way around the house with a complaining Lily in his arms. The second she saw you she wanted to be fed, but making breakfast and feeding her were no tasks to be combined.

Daryl had given her a slice of ham already, but that didn't suffice. Her whines made that very clear.

"Daryl?" Your voice was picked up by your husband and within moments he was at your side. "Just the bacon left. I can go feed her if you wanna finish this?" You already held your arms open to take Lily from him.

Your kitchen held enough space for you to hang out comfortably as Lily had her breakfast and also give you a lovely view of Daryl cooking bacon to go with your egg sandwiches.

Today was gonna be a good day. You had it all planned out and were excited to see the in-laws again.

But first breakfast. With Lily done feeding you could finally start eating. Thankfullyneach pack mom had the same idea and each gifted you a large basket full of puppy items and a note informing the basket itself and the added blanket were perfect to place your newborn in for a bit to rest your arms. You kept one in almost every room, including one next to you on the table.

You coo'ed at her as you placed her in the soft basket, much to Daryl's amusement.

You found the baskets a bit strange at first, but Daryl had convinced you to give them a chance and now you couldn't function without them.

Just as your butt touched yoir chair again, Daryl came up to the table with two large plates of food.

You two ate dinner and went through the day's plans again before cleaning up the dishes and taking turns taking a shower and setting up the last party prep.

You made sure to give Lily her lunchtime feeding so she'd be asleep just before the people started coming in.

With the large double doors to the back porch opened up you had a perfect view of her living room nap spot and worried a bit less about having to stay at her side the whole time.

Folks started coming in, quickly finding you and Daryl to share congratulations and more small gifts.

The farmers had come empry handed, but not without a promise of a large produce delivery coming in tomorrow. The eight wolves living there took care of greens, eggs, milk and meat.

Some parents had brought their kids too, who were all too eager to grab your hands to be lead to the newborn for a look. You admitted to be a bit anxious, but they all behaved exceptionately well. They sat down on the floor and said quiet hello's.

While you were away from the parents one of the older teens came to you. She had a worried look on her face and sat down close to you before speaking softly.

"Can I ask you something?" She had her head almost laying on your shoulder with how close she got, but you let her stay and let her speak.

"How did you react when you found out Daryl was a werewolf?" The question came out so careful, she was clearly afraid of something she didn't share out loud but the memory made you giggle a bit.

"My dad told me, because I love monster movies. Let's just say I reacted really well to it. Otherwise I wouldn't be here and have a kid with him." You gave her your kindest smile but couldn't help to ask what was bothering her so much.

This younger generation was almost perfectly human with the amount of control they had outside of the full moon, so they were allowed to mingle way more than their parents. Ans so it turned out the girl had developed a crush on a human boy.

She had come to you for advice on humans, not having told even her parents yet.

"It's never easy to show your real self to a human. We're not used to seeing werewolves outside of books and TV." Truth was, the monsters on TV were nothing compared to the beautiful creatures that surrounded you now.

"I think my best advice would be to just be you for now, figure out if he likes you as well and then think about more." You had picked up Lily from her spot and were holding her in your lap now. "Maybe the guy ends up being a weirdo, in the bad sense of the word." The comment managed to get a laugh out of her, luckily brightening the mood again just as Daryl came by.

"There y'are. Lost ya for a minute." He bent down to kiss your head as he stared at his kid nephews and nieces all surrounding his wife and child.

And said nephews and nieces were quickly surrounding uncle Daryl, bombarding him with questions. "Why do you only have one puppy? Can we see missus's wolf? Uncle, when are you having a big family we can play with?"

They swarmed him, clinging to his leg and begging for answers. He had picked up the smallest boy and bribed the kids to be calm around the baby if he'd give them answers. "Now listen y'all. 'N sit yer asses down." In a heartbeat the rowdy bunch plopped their butts down in front of him and stared up. "Momma here ain't a wolf. I thought yer parents told y'all tha' already." An array of "whaaat?" and "woooww"s sounded through the room and pairs of eyes peeked over at you before Daryl continued. "The other pack mommas are all wolves, fhey ca have more pups in one go. She's human, an' human ladies only have one pup at a time." Daryl had sat down on his haunches and had let go of his nephew again. "So be kind to 'er. She's family."

"So is the puppy only half puppy?" The genuine curiosity was adorable, knowing they would never mean harm with their questions. But Daryl's carefully chosen words when he answered were so sweet too. "Neh, Lily's all pup. See human ladies can have lil' ones with all kinds of creatures, not just other humans."

Another wave of "woooowww"s came in reply as some got up and ran for their parents to share the newly aquired facts, and others made sure to come to you and state how cool you were.

"So, humans and wolves really do mix better than most humans think, right?" Your original conversation was almost forgotten thanks to the little ones' questionaire.

"Usually humans are scared of things they don't know. But if you show you're not a threat, it could end up going really well." You gave her a soft side-hug and pat her shoulder, Daryl stepping in on her other side. "There's always gon' be older wolves tha'll think yer wrong fer likin' a human. But fuck' em. Ya can date who ya wan'."

Of course Daryl would be the one who agreed with more modern ways of life when it came to befriending humans. He considered his human best friend a brother and now even had a child with one.

"Thanks for being so open towards the pack, about all of this."

Daryl took her hand and pulled her to her feet, grabbing her and giving her the biggest bear hug. "My folks woulda hunted 'er for sport. Glad they ain't around no more. Nothin' wrong with humans when ya pick 'em well."

She gave him a happy nod in return, thanking you both again before heading out to grab a drink.

Parents had started to round up their kids, getting ready to head home after saying their goodbyes. Just in time to catch Merle come in with his truck stacked to the high heavens with moonshine. The older wolves, and even the ones just turned eightteen were offered to take a jar from the crate Merle took to set on the table on his way to his baby brother.

Without missing a beat he grabbed Daryl's wrist, yanked him towards him and put him in an inescapable hug, praising him and congratulating him on the healthy pup. When he let go he went in to give you the same bone crushing hug before he spotted the pup in your arms and backed up. He stepped up a lot more calm and offered a soft squeeze of the arm instead, congratulating you as well in a much softer voice. "Ya look great, momma. 'N so does the lil' nugget." A choked laugh escaped your lips at the name. "Nugget? Your baby niece has a name you know."

"'Course I know 'er name's Lily. Wha' kina uncle would I be if I didn'?"

You laughed together as Daryl silently appriciated Merle's ability to adjust his behavior around the pup.

The men went back outside after you excused yourself to feed Lily one last time today and try and get her to sleep in her nap spot until you were going to bed and taking her upstairs with you.

"Hey, dontchu drink tha' one! Aint yers!" You heard Merle's voice call out, making you head over outside just that bit faster.

Not that there was a fight, but you didn't want to deal with badly behaving wolves.

Merle noticed you walking through the door and handed you a bottle. Not moonshine, but an expensive brand of wine. "Weren't sure if ya'd be drinkin' cuz of the lil' one. Ya can drink it whenever."

You thanked him and brought the bottle inside, not drinking yet for as long as Lily still drank from you.

Outside the adults were getting loud, howling with laughter. You caught Daryl's voice immediately, he was toasting to you, "his pride and joy", praising you until he was out of breath.

You stood at the oposite end of where he was and watched from a distance, appriciating your loving husband's words.

"And cheers to lil' baby Dixon!" Merle shouted after his brother's speech.

While the men were being their rowdy self, the younger wolves had all banded together and were hanging out at the far end of the property while the women had swarmed you to chit chat. Talks about your daughter and husband were what filled the hours until you could barely keep your eyes open. Some of the mothers had decided then it was time to go round up their teens, get them to help drag dad to the car and head back home while you had gotten up to kiss Daryl goodnight.

"Night, momma~!" Merle's voice slurred as he swayed to wrap an arm around your shoulders and kissed the side of your head. "Good night, Merle. See ya in the morning?" Your sweet smile went straight to his heart, giving you that drunk giggle and nodded. "Ya know I love tha' hammock, find me passed out til' ya bring me some eggs 'n bacon."

You bid him goodnight and moved to find your husband who was still very invested in his conversation about mechanics.

"Baby I'm gonna go sleep." You let him know with a hand on his shoulder to keep his attention. He was drinking, but from a glass instead of a jar, having promised to get at most a bit tipsy tomight and make sure the house was left in a neat state before going to sleep himself.

"Hmhm, goodnight Bunny. Takin' Lily witcha?" He grabbed your side from where he sat next to you and tugged to get a kiss from you.

Bending down you smiled into the kiss, tasting the nasty moonshine.

"Lily and I will be upstairs. Love ya." You gave him another kiss to temple and heqded inside with a few waves to the others still hanging around.

Once upstairs in your bedroom you placed Lily in her crib, babbling soft apologies for waking her up until she slept again and putting yourself to bed as well, falling asleep to the howling of your celebrating family.

A/N: There's so much to write about Daryl's pack, it's so big!!

[jmdbjk]

Needed a moment to collect.

I hear the winds of the wasteland blowing through my head because it will feel so barren without them. It's not as if we see them in real time everyday...but... I already miss them.

It's the same feeling I had after the June 2022 Festa dinner. I was so bereft it was mind-blowing. They tried their best to convey what their plan was and to reassure us and they asked us to listen to them and trust them.

Many struggled with that request.

It was slow realizing it wasn't the end and then everything accelerated and these past few weeks/months have been a doozy. Look at what this past year and a half brought us. More Bangtan joy than I thought was possible!

Now, for me, its just knowing they won't be going about their regular crazy days staying up until dawn, or flying out in the morning just to sleep for the next 10 hours on a plane and land at who knows what time where ever, and hit the ground running. Or going out with their friends to a meat restaurant to just eat, drink and chill. Or working on music or choreo or planning whatever. Or visiting art galleries or museums and stopping for coffee on a beautiful day.

They certainly didn't update us everyday about those things but they did just enough for us to know that's what their lives entail and let us fill in the rest. All that's on pause now.

It is hard to comprehend that Jungkook just wrapped up a very successful solo release just to put it all aside and step away.

His heartfelt letter was precious. I expect something similar from Jimin.

They knew they were going to do it. We knew to expect it. Still...

This is something they are required to do, they are going to do and they are prepared to do it.

Let them do it in peace, grace and dignity.

They prepared some things for us. Be grateful.

Though it's tough knowing the time has come, I also know that they are not going to let those wasteland winds linger in my head very long. They are already dissipating because we have stuff coming down the pipe:

We heard last year that the Disney+ documentary was going to be a series and here it's coming soon. It will take us through to January.

And now the excitement is through the roof upon learning Jimin and Jungkook are about to head to Japan.

The MAMA Awards are being held at the Tokyo Dome, Tuesday, Nov. 28. They are leaving today/tomorrow. Plenty of time to relax, have a little down time and vacation, shoot some content, and then accept their awards Tuesday night.

We already know a "travel with Jimin and Jungkook" is coming soon. Should we anticipate a revisit to GCF Tokyo, or maybe something else similar? I love those two so much, they're always on my mind. They've been so sneaky and careful only because they know this is something special for us. Maybe it will come to us following the Disney series. We don't know what content they've got in the can, ready to follow.

Then we will have a few more months before Jin returns next summer.

Jimin and Jungkook. In recent months, I've gotten really good at filtering out the noise. I've sat here with calm understanding about Jimin and Jungkook, seeing them STILL the same with each other in every bit of new content they've shared. I only need my own two eyes and ears to detect that strong bond. They have the thing that is precious between two people. Grand gestures are not necessary and not their style.

They love their fans... that would be us: ARMY... they love us. They want to give us what we want. They live for that. So Jimin brought back his blonde hair, showed us his moons running down his back. And Jungkook stepped out of the shower naked. They KNOW what we want and want to give it to us as best they can! They know we love them and want to show off their chemistry.

Not gonna lie, this past year flew by for me. It was month after month of anticipation. And now here we are at the end of the year.

All the arguing and fighting and ugliness that some engage in is just noise. Our mens are gonna be the good and honest beings they are no matter what anyone says. Listen to them.

We expect them all back mid-year 2025. We expect a wonderful new most beautiful moment in life. We expect the best is yet to come. We expect something amazing and we won't be disappointed. Trust them.

Their plan is already in motion and has been. We wait™️.

[whiskeynwriting]

MBFD - Chapter Ten: Even When Apart

Dave York x Female Reader

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Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI)

Mentions of separation/divorce, reader descriptions, dirty talk, sexting, male masturbation, spanking, praise kink, mentions of oral (m and f receiving), unprotected vaginal sex.

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A/N: soooo we planned out this chapter a hot minute ago, and expected it to be way longer. But I hope you enjoy it anyway my babies <3 I feel like having 14k chapters and then 6k chapters is a running theme in this series lmao

Also, sorry for the late post lovelies. But if you know me, you should know it’s a regular thing 😂😭

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“John,” He nods, walking down the hall. Just barely, the coffee in his to-go cup swishes inside, the contents still boiling. 

His coworker returns the friendly gesture with a smile on his face, asking briefly, “Dave, how’re the kids?” 

All he does is shrug, putting on a brave face. “Can’t complain.” But that’s the end of it. 

As he expected, life’s been shit since you left again. But he understands, he can’t exactly live at your apartment forever. At least, not yet. He has considered it, though. Over the past few days, he’s been researching homes, mainly condos and townhouses. It’s not likely that he’ll be sharing a home with Carol and his daughters for much longer, and maybe you’d be willing to move with him. But Dave’s waiting to bring all of this up. He thinks it will be best to do so toward the end of your trip. Which is in about… shit, three days. He can’t fucking wait. 

David is well aware that he’s living in a fantasy land. The two of you living together? Officially? It blows his mind to even think about it. At that point, Molly would have to know. There’d be no hiding it. But for now, he’s ignoring all of that. He’s choosing to bask in the peace you bring him. 

Settling in at his desk, he releases a heavy breath. Honestly, he doesn’t need to be here this early - he hasn’t needed to stay so late, either. But it gives him time away from the anxiety surrounding his family, and in turn, helps him relax. He’s good at his job and truthfully, figuring out how to quietly and expertly remove people from their own lives is easier than dealing with his current familial stress. It does, however, have one downside. It takes time away from you. 

“Oooh, who misses you?”

Immediately, you’re snatching your phone out of Angela’s hand, staring down at the screen to see the text Dave sent. Eyes widening, you feel a sense of heat run through your cheeks, and Molly notices, too. 

“It’s probably just Anthony.” Rolling her eyes, she moves into her next stretch, preparing for today’s warm-ups. 

“No, it’s not. I told you I’m done talking to him.” Trying to dull your annoyance, you turn back to your screen, smirking ever so slightly. He misses me? 

Frowning, Molly leans upright once again. “Well then who the hell is it?”

The quiet that follows seems to infuriate your closest friend, because she’s immediately trotting over to snatch your phone from your hand.

“Molly!”

“Miss you, princess.” She reads out loud, raising a brow. “How come I don’t know about this?” It’s easy to see now that Molly isn’t angry, she’s sad. She assumed you’d tell her about your next relationship. And all at once, the guilt you’d been pushing down for weeks bubbles into your throat again. 

“I, well, I just… I’m…” 

“That’s funny,” She cuts in, staring at the screen. “My dad’s name is Dave.” 

At first, you feel like an idiot. You really couldn't have changed his name? But as soon as Molly starts giggling, you release all your anxieties in one breath. 

“That’s so weird, is he my dad’s age, too?” She jokes, tossing your phone back to you while returning to her position. 

Chewing on the corner of your lip, you close your phone, shoving it into your backpack. “Maybe.”

“Wait, really?” Spinning on her heels, she darts back over, sitting on the floor in front of you. And a few other girls scooch in, too.

“Of course you’d be the one to go for older men.” Nora chimes in, causing you to turn your head.

“What? Why?” 

“Maybe it is Molly’s dad.” And now, everyone is turning to Lexi. “What? It could be!”

“Yeah, right.” Molly snorts, rolling her eyes. “Like that would ever happen.”

“It’s not her dad!” God damn, this is frustrating. 

“Whatever,” Molly groans, patting her hand on your knee. “Just tell us about him!”

Side-eyeing her, you grin, quickly glancing down at your hands. You almost can’t keep it in, your relationship with him. Not when everyone is so eager to know. Hell, you can do this, you can still keep this a secret. 

“Well… he is older. And, I don’t know… we’re still kind of… new.”

“Have you said I love you?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Awe! Wait, who said it first?” The girls seem ecstatic, but you can tell Molly is still pretty hurt. 

“Um… he did.” Your heart beats a little harder, thinking back to that night. 

“So it’s definitely not new.” Lexi adds with a few of your girls agreeing. 

“So, his name is Dave?” Molly inquires further, trying to ask the important questions. If you’re telling this guy that you love him, she should know more about him. “How did you guys meet?”

“Oh my gosh, what does he look like?!” Angela unexpectedly butts in. 

“We have a… a mutual… friend.” It’s all you could come up with. “And he’s tall, way taller than me. He has light brown hair and dark brown eyes…” Trailing off, you find yourself caught up in the thought of him. “He’s pretty strong…”

“You said he’s older, right?”

“Mhm,” Nodding, you shake yourself out of your thoughts. You just had an overnight trip with him not too long ago, you should be able to focus on your personal life. 

“Does he have a dad bod?” She’s grinning wildly, and now, every head is turned toward you. “Is he big?”

“Angela!” You scoff, still smiling. “Yeah, he has a dad bod…” Replying with a laugh, you turn away. 

“And?”

Raising a brow, you turn to face your teammates. “You think I’d be with him if he wasn’t big?” 

Everyone is giggling like little school girls, but Molly still can’t shake the feeling of being lied to. Why haven’t you told her about this? Are you not as close as she thought? 

“Go stretch!” You demand with a grin, shaking them off. “We have warm-ups in ten.” 

On the other side of town, Dave smiles down at his phone. Once you’d gotten a moment to yourself, you responded to him. I miss you too. 

He hasn’t seen your pretty face in days, not in person, at least. But he’s been thanking the lord for SnapIt. Wait, no… Snapchat? Whatever it is, it’s been his only way of actually seeing you. At home and in the office, he can forget about personal calls and video chats. But cute selfies and quick videos easily make up for all of that. 

“Jesus,” Giving his head a quick shake, he sighs, staring down at the video you just sent. 

You’re in the bathroom, the camera fixed on your reflection in the mirror. That smile lights up his entire life, and prompts his own to form, too. And while the short clip might seem sweet, it’s less than innocent. What you’re wearing immediately sets him off. 

“Remember this, daddy?” Comes your cute, girly little voice. 

With one hand on your phone, the other finds the edge of your skirt, twirling it slightly. Of course he remembers it, how could he not? The last time he saw you in your cheer outfit was when he came on it. 

His response is pretty simple, a picture of his work pants. Well, a specific spot on his work pants. With his hand holding his semi-hard crotch, he captions it with, think I’d ever forget? 

“Hey,”

“Shit!” Nearly jumping out of your skin, you turn, seeing Molly. “Oh, h-hey, hey Goof.”

She smiles sheepishly, “Texting Dave?”

For a split second, your eyes widen. But then you remember, she now knows your boyfriend’s name. How… strange. 

“Um, yeah.” It comes out as an awkward chuckle, quick to close your phone and put it away. 

“I… I was wondering.” Staring at the floor, she swallows, unsure of how to start this conversation. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“About Dave?”

“Yeah.” She nods, finally returning her gaze to you. “Did I, I mean… have I done something wrong?”

“What? No! No, not at all, Molly!”

“It’s just… I don’t know. You’re already saying I love you to each other, and… I just don’t know why you wouldn’t tell me about it.” 

Jesus Christ, what the hell are you going to tell her? Is this when it happens? When everything just comes out? When your insides spill out of your mouth like word vomit? Every single secret you’ve been hiding, now rushing to the surface?

“Honestly,” Laughing away your anxieties, you shrug. “I thought you’d think it was… too fast. After Anthony.” Okay, that was good. That was smooth. 

“Really?” Raising a brow, she shifts her stance. “I hate that guy. You being with literally anyone else is better than you being with him.”

You chuckle, eyes wandering. Not anyone else.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide things from me.” Shrugging, she steps closer to you. “That’s all.”

Offering your best smile, you wrap her in a big hug. “Thanks, Goof.” 

And you want to stay true to your friendship, you don’t want to lie to her. There are days where you’ve thought about the outcome of your secret relationship, and it’s really torn you to pieces. In the end, you figure it’s best if she doesn’t know. Maybe it’s best if she never knows. 

A few buzzes from your phone end your brief moment, with Molly now back away. Pulling out your phone, you glance down, watching the screen light up with Dave’s name. 

“Well… I guess I’ll let you get back to it.” She chuckles, acknowledging the notifications. 

It’s weird, her finally knowing about this. And although she doesn’t know everything about this, her knowing some of it sort of… normalizes it. But you’re not exactly sure that’s a good thing. 

Before you can get a response out, she’s walking away. “Tell Dave I say hi.” She grins, shutting the door behind her. Now that comment, makes your insides twist tight. 

Doing as he says, you open the app, seeing another notification from him. And inside, you’re already full of butterflies, thinking about what he’s sent. 

This time, it’s a video. It starts out in the same position as the photo he sent, directed at his covered lap. But now, his hand is moving, slowly undoing his belt before pulling it open. Thick fingers then move to his zipper, pulling it down to reveal the pretty periwinkle underneath. But then it abruptly ends. Frowning, you close the app to message him, wondering if he’d intended to send more. But just before you can, another video loads. 

Groaning, David sighs, pulling himself out of his light purple boxers. He’s red, already dripping down the sag of his foreskin. Pulling it back, you can hear him gasp, a quiet noise as he holds himself in hand. 

“I miss you, baby.” His voice is low, but sweet. Gliding his thumb over the tip, he sighs again. “Miss the way you feel around me…” 

You’ve already spent at least ten minutes in here, so you’ll need to do this quick. And be creative. It’s not like you can just get naked in the middle of the bathroom, and you definitely don’t have the time for that. But Dave isn’t exactly a hard man to please. 

“Fuck me.” 

He thought the two of you were just having fun together, sending these messages back and forth. Sure he’d touched himself in a video for you, but he had no real intention of actually getting himself off. That is, until you sent an upskirt picture of yourself to him.

Your cheer uniform is clearly visible, and with your panties tugged to the side, he can see you perfectly. The smooth pinkness of your skin, just barely glistening for him. Jesus, he misses that, misses how it feels and tastes and smells. Fuck, he’ll have to convince you to give him your panties again, especially if you’re not sure when you’ll next see him.

Making sure to screenshot the image, he pulls it up in his photos, no longer having the Snapchat timer on it. Spitting into his palm, he stares at the screen, at the beautiful picture of your sweet, tiny pussy. It’s his, it’s all his, the entirety of your body. Your gorgeous tits and smooth thighs, the plumpness of your ass. All he wants to do is touch you, feel and grab on your most sensitive places. He loves your hips, loves digging his fingers into the thin skin, especially when he’s fucking you. Jesus Christ, it’s all he can think of, bending you over and taking you from behind, fucking you in his car, in the basement lounge of his home, anywhere secluded enough for him to have you.

Tugging on himself, he releases a rough sigh. Even though he has an entire office to himself, he still wants to keep quiet. He has absolutely no idea who could be walking the halls. Truthfully, though, it’s hard to do so when he has a woman half his age sending pictures from between her thighs. 

His head tilts back, resting on the upper portion of his chair as he spreads his legs further. Thrusting up into his palm, he gasps, continuously brushing the flat of his thumb over his leaking head. He just loves how you play with it, how you tug his foreskin back to suck and lick on it. The next time he sees you, he’ll demand it, shove you down onto your knees until you’re gagging on him. It’s what he’s wanted for days, it’s what he needs. 

Spit isn’t enough to be an adequate lubricant, nowhere near as slick as your cunt. It’s amazing to him, just how slippery you get, just how desperately you want for him. And he knows if you were here, you’d be doing this for him. 

Slamming the phone down on his desk, he finds his breaths becoming ragged, using his now free hand to cup his scrotum. He fondles the softness of it, imagining it to be you while he jerks off into his hand. Internally, he’s thinking about your mouth, about the way you swallow him. Even when he cums, you’re sucking it down, urging it to the back of your throat and Christ, just the thought of it is enough for him. 

It’s incredible how sensitive he gets, especially when he cums. He has to bite into his lower lip to keep himself at bay, to keep those whimpers from slipping out. Thrusting up into his own hand, he groans, eyes pitching shut with his brows furrowing just above. His mouth hands agape, unable to think about anything other than your pretty face. He can feel it oozing down the side of his hand, seeping into the cracks between each fingers, leaking over his knuckles. He never used to cum so much before you. 

“F-Fuck,” He grunts out, eyes shooting open to look down. 

Slowing his pace, he takes a breath, staring at his mess. Some of the warm, white goo is on his boxers, even his work pants, too. But he’s not frustrated about that. He’s annoyed about something else entirely. 

“Should’ve filmed that.” 

It’d be for the best that you accept her offer, you want to reassure her that your friendship is as strong as ever. But you just can’t bring yourself to. Dave’s presence is nowhere in that house, but Carol sure as hell is. She’s always complaining, whether it’s about Dave, or her work, or her friends, it’s always something. It’s never-ending. And you just don’t feel like dealing with that right now.

“I think I’m okay today, but thanks for askin’.” Is your final response, alongside a grateful smile. 

“You sure?” Molly inquires, shifting her bag on her shoulder. “You don’t want to hangout today?”

“Not today, babe. But we will sometime this week, I promise.” 

Honestly, you’d like to get home and eat. It’s been a long day, with an early practice and then another after your classes. You’ve barely had time for a latte and some crackers, and you’re starting to feel woozy from it. 

“I need to get home and eat. Talk to you later!” And with that, you’re hopping in your Jeep. 

Some days, it’s easy to get caught up in the world around you. With school and work and cheer and pom, Dave occasionally falls to the wayside. Even though you’ve been missing some classes and practices lately… But while these days come and go, he always wiggles back in somehow. Today had been busy, you weren’t able to respond to him after your flirty morning messages. But now that you’re driving home, finally on your way to relaxation, your head is full of him again. 

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey!” You’re giddy all over again, just hearing his voice. You’d decided to call instead of text, you missed his voice. “How are you?”

“Tired,” He groans, staring down at the paperwork he’d been tasked with. “How are you?”

“Tired, too. But I'm finally on my way home, think I’ll take a day off tomorrow. This week has been draining me.” 

“Just remember, we’ll get a break soon.” Smirking, he traces an imaginary shape onto his desk, sighing. 

“What do you mean?”

“Our trip, we’re leaving on Thursday.”

“Holy shit, I completely forgot! Fuck, I need a break.”

“You’ll get one soon, princess.”

The way he says it makes you sigh, releasing the stress of your day. His voice is smooth and reassuring, deep and just a little bit gravely. 

“I miss you.” 

“I know, honey. But I’ll see you soon.” 

“Tonight?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I’m pretty busy, I’ll probably be home late.” 

Immediately, you have the thought of visiting him. You’ve never gone up to his work, you haven’t really had a reason to. But maybe you could surprise him today. 

“Okay, babe. Just get some rest, okay?”

“Sure, baby.” He chuckles, checking the time on his wrist. “We can talk more later, okay?”

“Okay,” Pouting, you pull into your parking lot, wishing the call didn’t have to end. 

“I love you, sweetheart.” He says it with intention, like he’s apologizing for your time apart. 

“I love you, too.” And while your response isn’t said as sweetly, he accepts it, promising to text you soon. 

As soon as the call ends, you’re scurrying inside to see what food you have. Instead of just visiting him, you figure you’ll bring him some dinner. He did say he was busy, maybe he hasn’t had the chance to eat yet. 

Thinking back to the first time he stayed in your apartment, you remember one of his favorite meals. Easily enough, you find noodles and alfredo sauce in the cupboard, and some frozen chicken in the freezer. 

“Who?”

“Dave York… does he, does he not work here?” It’s the third time you’ve had to ask for him, and everyone’s been acting super strange. 

“No, he does, he does. I just… are you one of his daughters?” And now, you freeze up. “I haven’t seen you before.”

“I’m… a friend. Can you just tell me where to find him, please?” Did it have to be that big of a deal?

Though, you suppose it should be a big deal. This isn’t just any office, it’s the office for the Central Intelligence Agency. Maybe you should’ve thought this through. 

“Sure… just let me give him a call. What was your name?”

Sighing, you hand your ID to the man at the front desk, watching him eye it while picking up the phone. He dials a quick number, Dave’s voice heard on the other end almost immediately. 

“Yeah, I’ve got a younger woman here that’s asking for you.”

At this, he sounds flustered, though you can’t quite make out what he’s saying. But then this man is repeating your name, and he goes silent. Shit, is he upset that you’re here? Maybe this was a bad idea. Shit, shit. 

“Ma’am?”

“Hm? Yes?” Startled out of your worried haze, the man says, “You can go in. He’s right down that hall, and to your right. Office number twenty-nine.” 

Raising your brows, you feel a surge of adrenaline burst inside. “Oh… okay, thank you.”

You’re very suddenly intimidated by your surroundings. Everything looks so… professional, monochrome colors and sleek lines, engraved name cards and security surveillance at every turn. Regardless, you make your way down, albeit with timid steps. And when you’re at his door, you take in a deep breath. Gulping, you lift your hand, knuckles knocking shyly against the door. 

“Come in.” His voice is deep, loud, demanding that you enter. 

Slowly, you twist the knob, urging the hunk of wood forward. Peaking your head inside, you’re met with an abundance of dark wood and grays. Wooden side tables and shelves, and further in, a dark wooden desk, too. 

“H-Hey, hi.” Grinning sheepishly, you fully make your way in, closing the door behind you. 

“Hey…” Standing from his desk, you’re not quite sure how to read his expression. Both hands fall to his shirt, fiddling with his buttons. “What…” Walking toward you, he exhales a nervous breath. “What’re you doing here?” 

“I, well…” Lifting the tupperware in your hand, you glance down, explaining, “I wanted to bring you dinner.” 

As soon as he sees it, his eyes are wide, lips parting slightly. “You… brought me dinner?”

“Mhm, I made it. It’s chicken alfredo, I… I thought you’d like it.”

“Baby,” And the way he says it prompts your eyes to return to him. “Thank you.” 

He takes the container so gingerly that you’d assume it was glass if you didn’t already know better. Spinning on his heels, he sets it on his desk, just as quickly turning back to you.

“Oh!”

“Thank you, baby.” Reaching out, he pulls you tightly into his arms, heart beating out of his chest. You can feel it against your own, your hands sliding up to wrap around his neck.

“Of course,” You’re flush from his reaction, beyond happy to see him this way. “I’m so glad you’re happy to see me.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asks, loosening his grip to kiss your forehead. And then he’s turning, walking back to his desk.

“I don’t know, I’ve just never been here before and I got… nervous.” 

“You’re cute when you’re nervous.” He’s chuckling, opening up the container and grabbing the silverware you brought with it. 

Slinking into one of the chairs before his desk, you grin, watching him dig in. And in this brief lull, you take a look around his office, having wondered what it’d be like in here. All the lights are warm-toned, his shelves full of novels and his desk incredibly clean. Usually though, it’s quite messy. He’s lucky his secretary called first, it gave him time to hide a few things before you came in. 

“Did you eat?”

“Yeah, I ate at home. Don’t worry about me.” 

All he can do is stop and stare at you, smiling sweetly. No one’s ever been so thoughtful toward him before. In all their years of marriage, Carol never thought to do this. And if she did, she never followed through on it. 

“You’re so sweet, honey.” 

“Yeah well I try.” You respond, rolling your eyes with a grin. 

With an ounce of confidence, you stand, making your way behind his desk. Wrapping your arms around him from behind his chair, you lean down, kissing his cheek. 

“I was a little bit nervous, if I’m being honest.”

“Why?”

“Well, everyone knows I’m married, baby.” He laughs, thinking that was obvious. “And now I have some young girl bringing me food.” 

Shrugging, you grin. “Maybe they’ll be impressed.” 

Setting down his fork, he grins, turning a bit. “C’mere.” Grabbing hold of your hips, he pulls you into his lap, your back pressing against his chest. “I’m impressed.”

“With what?” You giggle, feeling his lips dragging over your neck. 

“How caring you are, baby.” Kissing your neck, he grins, hands unwilling to move from your hips. “I’m lucky to have you.” 

Tilting your head back onto his shoulder, you sigh. “I’ve missed this.”

“I know…” Dave groans, “I can’t wait to take you on this trip, do whatever I want with you for days.” 

“You could do whatever you want with me right now.” You return, eyeing him from the side. 

As if the sound was meant to directly ruin your moment, his work phone rings. And then, a notification pops up on his laptop. A work meeting.

“Yeah, not while talking to my bosses.” 

Frowning, you release a pouty huff. “Could I maybe… stay? I’ll be quiet, I promise!”

At first, he’s inclined to say no. He isn’t sure what this meeting is about, but… he could always take it on his AirPods, too. 

“Sure, baby. Just keep quiet, okay?”

Your face lights up at his words, nodding enthusiastically. Darting to the side, you grab a chair, pulling it up beside him. It takes all but two seconds for him to connect the call, popping in one of the small, white earbuds. 

It’s cute, really, how sweetly you cuddle up to him. But can you help it? Going days without him feels like a fucking crime. And since he’s not on camera, you really can snuggle him, looping an arm around his and nuzzling into his shoulder. 

Smiling, he enters the chat, happy to hear it’s about the upcoming trip. “Yeah, the tickets are set. Resnik checked into the hotel already, I’ll be meeting him early Friday. Yep, leaving Thursday night.” 

He’s going through the facts, just running over the plan, but even though the conversation is mundane, you couldn’t be more entertained. The smooth melody of his voice lulls you into relaxation, that baritone sound rumbling in his throat. 

Something about laying on the sturdiness of him, listening to him converse nonchalantly with his coworkers, it’s healing your inner child. Even though he’s at work, clearly busy, he still wants you here. He still does his best to make sure you know you’re loved. 

“Come here.”

“Sh!” You giggle, moving with him. “We have to be quiet!”

“I know that.” Dave grunts in response, pulling you into his body again. 

It all happened so quickly, him waking you up before leaving the office. You’re shocked that you fell asleep in the first place. Thinking back, you weren’t even that tired. Maybe he just made you that comfortable. 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t have my fun with you.” He finishes, biting into your neck. 

After he woke you up, he suggested that you come back to his home. Truthfully, it’s become far too easy for this to take place, for you to fuck Molly’s dad just down the hall from her bedroom. Coming home past midnight, he’s certain that his family will be asleep. And as long as you’re out before six the next morning, you’re in the clear. And anyways, he’d missed having you in his bed, beneath his body and hands. There was a point where you’d told him that you wanted a home, a home to share with him. And after that, he kind of lost it. 

At first, it was innocent, the two of you snuggling in your undies together. He locked the door after you were both inside, releasing a contended breath once he finally got to hold you. Dave wrapped the covers around the two of you, settling into his bed. But then you were shifting, trying to get ‘comfortable’, all while grinding back against him. 

“You know what I can’t stop thinking about? Your gorgeous fucking mouth,” Reaching up, he covers it with his palm, hissing into your ear, “And all the sexy sounds it makes.”

He’s holding you from behind, having shoved your panties to the side. Slipping himself out of his boxers, he slides along the slickness of your sex, grunting hot breaths directly into your ear. 

“Jesus, baby, you don’t understand. You can’t do that to me, you can’t grind that perfect ass against me. I just, fuck, I cum so fucking easy with you.”

And while he’s talking, only riling himself up, you’re still doing it, shoving yourself back against him. Both of your hands are clinging to his forearm, lungs doing their best to release quiet breaths. 

“Every time you leave, I think about you, baby. I think about you every goddamn second of the day. Think about your beautiful lips, tapping the head of my dick against them.” And that’s when you release your first, true moan, eyes fluttering just above his hand. “You want it, princess? You want me?”

It’s a smile whine, one accompanied with a nod, that you give in response. And with one small slip, barely adjusting the angle of his hips, he’s sliding in. It feels like it’s been forever since you felt him, the thickness of him splitting you open from behind. 

“Talk to me,” He finally gives in, taking his hand away. “Talk to me, baby.”

“Baby,” You nearly squeal, feeling his hips thrust into you. All at once, he’s forcing you to take him, every inch. And it burns but it feels just right. “Fuck, I need this.”

“C’mon,” Dave grunts, teeth dragging along your neck. Sliding one hand down, he smacks your outer thigh, demanding, “Grind yourself against me.” And like always, you give in. 

“More, daddy.” Already, your breaths have turned heavy, feeling his hips rotate against your ass. The sting of his slap still radiates along your skin, his fingers now pressing into the plump muscles he can’t seem to get enough of. 

“I can’t wait to give you more, I’ll give you everything.” He promises, huffing out a deep moan. “When we’re on our trip, I’ll taste you everyday, every goddamn day.”

“David,” He’s pumping himself into you, meeting the smooth rotation of your hips. 

“Fuck, I can’t wait to have your mouth on my cock again. Shove it down your throat and make you look up at me while you swallow.” He can’t even begin to tell you about the fantasies he’s dreamt up about this trip. “I can’t wait to take you with me.” 

“I…” Sighing, you smile. “I can’t wait, daddy.”

“Daddy’ll give you whatever you want, okay, baby? Whatever you need, it’s yours, it’s yours, princess. Fuck.” Sliding his hand down, he fondles your chest, gripping you in hand. “Maybe I can show you off, take you to some beaches and clubs.”

“R-Really?”

“Fuck yes, you think I’d pass up that opportunity?” You hate to say it, but feeling like a prize to him is making you drip. “Let everyone see the sexy little thing that’s with me… Fuck, you can be so dirty, can’t you, baby? Sending me pictures of your pussy, huh? Letting me see up your cheer skirt?”

“I, I want that. Want you to do that.”

“I already have.”

“No, baby…”

“What?” Pressing his nose into your cheek, he groans. “What do you need?”

“Want you to do that at our next game.” And you almost can’t help the wicked smile that forms on your face. 

“Yeah? At halftime? Just like how we first met?”

“Yes, baby.” The feeling of his cock dragging along your walls is almost too much when coupled with his words. And before you even realize it, your hips are stuttering in their motion.

“Did I tell you to stop?” Another harsh spank, one loud enough for you to worry. 

“Daddy,” 

“You like that?”

“You know I do.”

You can feel his stubble scratching along your jawline and cheek, his lips insistent in their kisses. But then he’s lowering himself, finding and then sucking on your neck.

“Do you like it, daddy? You like being inside me?”

“Fuck,” It’s a growl, one vibrating over your throat. 

At this point, he’s slapping his hips against you, diving deeper every time. 

“I loved sitting in your lap, daddy. Maybe I can do that more often at your office.”

“Maybe you can do a little more than that.”

You’re pulsing around him, trying to quiet your shrill gasps. Molly and Alice are just down the hall, and so is Carol. And to think you’re fucking their dad makes you hot all over again. It’s become so exciting. Hell, who are you kidding? It’s always been exciting. 

“I love you, sweetheart. You were meant for this, you were made for me. Even when apart, I still want you. I still need you.”

“I need you, David.” Clinging to his forearm, you release a soft moan, feeling his tip punch against your most sensitive spot. “I love you.”

“B-Baby,” He suddenly stutters, holding you tighter in his grasp. And you almost can’t breathe from it, can’t think of anything else but him. 

“I know, daddy. Will you cum inside me?” 

“Jesus,” Eyes rolling back, he grunts. “You’re perfect for me.”

The sloppy sound of your meeting sexes makes your face burn, and if it weren’t for the loud fan in David’s room, you’d be worried. It makes you grateful for the times you get at your apartment, where you can be as loud and sloppy as you want. And you’re sure this vacation won’t be any different. 

“I’m gonna take you with me,” He promises breathlessly, eyes pinching shut. His tongue is laving over your neck, lips kissing your jawline and cheek, moaning sweetly, desperately into your ear. “I can’t wait to take you with me.” In less than three sharp thrusts, he’s spilling into you, feeling the hot liquid rush out of his tip. It shoots into your center, the gooiness of it coating your insides white. His muscles turn to jelly, his once steady breaths now faltering, especially when you shove your hips back against him. 

“I love you,” He proclaims through his high, his voice and chest straining as he speaks to you. “I love you, sweetheart. You’re mine.” 

“I know,” You promise in return, nuzzling back into his barely-covered body. “I know, baby. And you’re mine.” Reaching around, your fingers find that soft, light brown hair, finding gentle purchase with it. 

“You’ll always be with me, I promise.” Kissing the shell of your ear, David sighs, basking in the sensation of your fingers in his hair. “Princess, I’ll take you everywhere.” 

[racheyace]

Lightning Ridge - Part Four

Finally part four is here! The final part! Sorry it took so long to get this here, school went back in Aus last week so it meant back to work for me, this had been finished but needed some serious editing. Still not completely happy with it but I was too excited so here it is! The big show down and the boys have some fluffy moments!

Also just now realizing they never did make it to Lightning Ridge, perhaps I'll change the title but anywho! This may the end of this adventure with Hendrix and Ryder but I have some more shorts planned for these two don't you worry!

TW: mentions of murder/eating people, giant spiders, some swearing, mentions of death, mentions of drug use, some violence, a close call vore scenario

Approx 4.4k words!

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

The ground quaked beneath us, I wasn’t sure what time we had drifted to sleep out there under the stars but at some point in the night, I’d returned to my human size, no longer under the hold of alcohol.

I sat bolt upright and found that Ryder was already on his feet and strapping the iron sword to his side.

“He’s here.” Ryder said his voice gravelly from sleep.

“Shit.” In an instant I was on my feet as well, we had planned on ambushing him the following evening, but it seemed our plans had been changed for us. Blade was raiding the village as we stood there, it was now or never.

“You ready for this?” Ryder asked, holding out the silver sword to me, the hilt was wrapped in leather so I wouldn’t burn my hands, but it should do the trick in convincing Blade that I was human and not a shifter.

We were relying on the element of surprise if our plan was going to work.

I nodded, strapping the sword to my side and ignoring the uncomfortable feeling I got from being so close to the silver. Without another word Ryder sprinted toward Armarand with me trailing close behind, my heart pounded, and my body screamed at me to shift if only for self-preservation, but I would not reveal my true identity just yet.

It didn’t take long for us to spot Blade, he towered over the town, his eyes red with blood lust as he scoured the streets looking for his next victim. Each step he took shuddered through us, and I wondered if this was how humans viewed me, how Ryder saw me.

Blade appeared positively monstrous, he’d clearly been busy since the last time I saw him and only gone further down the path of pure evil.

His clothing was scattered with patches of blood, some old, some new but it definitely was not his own. His long and sharp face was littered with scars, evidence of those who had tried to slay him in the past. His black hair had grown longer, almost reaching his stomach and it hung in greasy clumps, his skin was caked with mud and blood, more monster than man.

Blade’s senses zeroed in on a house to his left as he heard the screams of those within who had just witnessed his arrival.

He smiled, the hunt had begun.

Reaching for the house, he easily broke through the roof, digging roughly within and searching for the humans hiding inside. He looked as though he were merely rifling through an old box, roughly moving furniture around without a care in the world of potentially harming the souls inside.

Ryder and I picked up our pace until we were directly in front of the house. Ryder nodded at me and we split up. He circled around to the back of the house, disappearing somewhere behind Blade.

That was my cue, and I prayed that all our preparation would be enough, I waved my arms over my head to get Blade’s attention.

“Hey! Over here. Why don’t you pick a real fight, you coward!” I shouted, his hunger fueled gaze landed on me in an instant, his pupils dilated and with surprising speed he reached over the house, his hand shooting toward me.

In that moment I promised I’d never reach for another soul without warning again, the speed in which his large, clawed hand reached for me made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

I ran, not because I was scared of him but because I needed to lure him away from the village, if we were going to fight, we would not be putting anymore innocents at risk, I needed to get him to the clearing.

“Run, run, little one, you won’t get very far before you’re done.” He sing-songed darkly as he quickly gained on me.

I’d only reached the edge of town when his shadow eclipsed me, I’d run out of time, this would have to do. I spun around, brandishing my sword and taking on a fighting stance, just as Ryder had shown me.

Blade was crouched over me with an eyebrow quirked in amusement.

“What do we have here, a little hunter? You’ll need more than a silver toothpick to stop my thunder.” He tsked and slammed his fist into the ground, emphasizing his power.

I stood my ground, waiting for Ryder’s signal, I hadn’t seen him chase after us and I wondered briefly if he’d meant it when he said it would be every man for himself. The notion was abandoned when I spotted him dancing around Blade’s ankles, I smiled and met the Giant’s eyes once more, I needed to continue to distract him.

“Don’t you recognize me, Blade?” I called up to him as his hand reached for me again, I ducked and rolled out of the way, but he didn’t seem to be trying to catch me, his fingers reaching lazily almost as though he were playing with me.

“Should I? I’m sorry, I don’t make a habit of talking to snacks and then letting them live, not to worry, I can fix that.” He mocked, revealing his yellowed teeth, and snapping them together for emphasis.

“Oh, come on, I haven’t changed that much in a year!” I called up to him, dancing again out of his reach but only just. “You on the other hand…” I laughed. “Well let’s just say the human diet has done you no favors.” I taunted him.

His fury peaked then, and he slammed a fist down, aiming for my body but missing by an inch, I was thrown off my feet and the Giant laughed darkly above me.

“NOW!” Ryder shouted from Blade’s feet, Blade glanced down and raised an eyebrow, I focused my energy and began to grow as Ryder pulled the ropes in an attempt to trip him over.

“Time for you to pick on someone your own size.” I seethed.

Blade brandished a knife, taking no notice of my growing body and instead he cut the ropes with a flick of his wrist. Ryder made an attempt to circle around his feet and take cover behind a building. He wasn’t fast enough, and I wasn’t fast enough, Blade’s foot swung with incredible speed and slammed into Ryder’s stomach sending him flying.

“NOOO!” I roared, now at my full height I swung at Blade aiming for his neck, he deflected it with his own hand pushing against it despite the burn of the silver.

“How interesting.” Blade sneered; I took another swing, but Blade kicked me down planting a heavy boot on my chest.

I raised my sword and sliced at his head, I managed to successfully cut into his ear and blood dripped down onto my face. My victory was short lived however as Blade punched me hard in the nose and used his other foot to slam onto my wrist causing me to release the sword.

He then grabbed me by my hair, lifting me up, pain burst through my skull, and I writhed, scratching at him to get away, I needed to know that Ryder was okay, I hadn’t seen where he landed. My heart beat wildly as I was dragged along the ground, knocking into multiple buildings along the way.

Before I knew it, I was thrown to the ground again and kicked hard in the side, a sickening crack resounded. Having the wind knocked out of me I curled in on myself, some hero I was turning out to be.

Blade once again grasped me by my hair and turned my face toward the ground, my eyes focused in on the small figure who was sprawled on the ground before me and slowly waking up from being knocked unconscious.

“Ryder.” I croaked, he was barely an inch away from my face and as Blade pushed into my head, I fought with all my might to stop myself from being pushed into Ryder and consequentially killing him.

“Looks like your little pet is stronger than I gave him credit for, not to worry, they taste better when they are kicking at deaths door.” Blade’s voice taunted from above me.

Ryder slowly came to, he looked in bad shape, but his fearless eyes were filled with fury as he took in the scene before him. He shuffled himself back a little, eyes darting around for an escape plan.

“Go on, have a taste, we wouldn’t want him to go to waste.” Blade pushed into my head again, this time angling my face so that my mouth was directly in front of Ryder, I kept my lips firmly shut as they brushed his shoulder.

I kicked again but Blade held me firmly, my mind raced for something, anything that would result in us both making it out of this alive. One idea came to mind, though it made me sick and I knew that Ryder would never forgive me, but it was our best shot, the only thing I could do.

Ryder searched his person for a weapon, he searched the area around him and grasped his sword which had thankfully fallen near to him and then looked around frantically, calculating his own next move, but I’d already made up my mind.

When Blade pushed down on my head again, I let him, I opened my mouth and closed my eyes and Ryder was forced inside, I closed my lips around his feet and fought from gagging.

Blade let go of my head, having surmised that I’d caved in to his demand and he stood back from me, letting me go.

He laughed and stood there, arms crossed, I remained still and once he figured I wasn’t going to put up much of a fight he turned and headed back toward the house he had started his rampage at.

“When you’re ready come and join me for some more fun.” Blade called over his shoulder.

He underestimated me, I hadn’t given up the fight yet.

With no time to lose, and the awful feeling of Ryder kicking around against my tongue and the bite of his sword against my gums, I lunged for Blade. Wrapping my arms around his neck I knocked him to the ground and spat Ryder out directly onto his neck.

I held Blade’s arms down, but my strength was giving out, I wouldn’t be able to hold him down forever, we only had a very small window for this to work.

Ryder, seeming to have understood the assignment, pushed his sword into the back of Blade’s head, though it wasn’t silver, the expert placement of the sword meant that Blade would not recover from this.

He roared in fury as blood spurted out from the vital artery and the beast finally went still and silent beneath me.

I rolled off of the monster and proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach in the shrubbery to the left of us before collapsing. My skin was cold and slick with sweat, I knew I was shaking, and I knew I’d likely broken a couple of ribs, I gagged again, my mind focusing on the taste of blood in my mouth.

The blood was caused by my friend who had been desperately trying escape my mouth, trying to fight ME to save himself from being eaten.

“Hendrix?” Ryder’s voice called from somewhere nearby, but I was too ashamed, too disgusted with myself to look at him.

“Hendrix!” He shouted sternly, I focused on my breathing, the way my body tingled and shook with the shock and energy I’d just exerted, I felt close to passing out.

“Hendrix!” He said more forcefully.

I turned to face him, unable to ignore him, unable to deny him.

He was limping towards me, still at least an arm’s length away from me but he continued his approach. He still held no fear, and I wondered then if maybe something inside him was wired differently. I would be running for the hills if I were in his shoes.

“A-are you okay?” I croaked, my throat raw from vomiting, tears threatened to cloud my vision.

“A bit battered but I’ll live, I would like my shoe back though.” He stated, my eyes widened, and my tongue instantly swiped around the inside of my gums until it landed on a positively miniscule foreign object. I picked it out between a finger and thumb and my stomach heaved again, I guess I was lucky it hadn’t dislodged itself when I’d thrown up.

With shaky fingers I extended the dripping wet boot toward Ryder, who grimaced at it but took it into his hands anyway.

I remained perfectly still as he continued to approach me, with a heavy sigh he sat down leaning his back against my forehead, giving my cool slick skin a firm pat. He was wet with saliva and blood but radiated a heat I didn’t know I needed.

“Well, that was fucked.” He said bluntly.

I cringed and muttered an apology, but he cut me off.

“Not you” He said impatiently. “Though some warning in the future would be nice because that was certainly a harrowing experience that I don’t wish to repeat, but I meant, Blade, HE was fucked.”

“Ryder, I really am s-sorry, it was the only thing I could think-“

“You did good.” He said simply.

We sat in silence for a time, while we caught our breath and worked on calming down, letting the adrenalin from the fight slowly ebb away. Eventually I found the strength to sit up, I pulled my shirt up and pressed my fingers against my ribs, feeling for any damage.

A large purple bruise was already forming along my side where Blade had kicked me, and there were at least two broken ribs.

My wrist ached where Blade had planted his boot, but it didn’t appear to be broken and surprisingly my nose was also still intact though I imagine I looked a sorry sight regardless.

My mind flickered back to the image of Ryder being literally kicked by the Giant and I looked down at him, he’d been watching me but quickly looked away and busied himself with checking his own body over.

“Sprained ankle and a fuck tonne of bruises, not too bad considering, how did you do?” He asked glancing up at me. I was surprised, I thought for sure Ryder would have at least one broken bone, he was certainly made of tougher stuff than me.

“A few broken ribs and bruises as well, I guess we were both lucky.” I shrugged, he nodded, satisfied.

“Let’s go check on the village.” He said. “Can you shift?”

My body was weak and tired, I’d be lucky if I could shift within the next few days, it would take some time to regain enough energy to hold my human form again, I shook my head.

Our first stop was the house that Blade had targeted, the family within were reluctant to leave upon seeing that a Giant was indeed still wandering the streets but Ryder assured them I meant no harm and had assisted him in taking down the monster.

I busied myself with gathering debris, parts of buildings and structures that had been knocked down during the fight. Most of the damage had actually been caused by me, from when Blade had dragged me through the streets, it was the least I could do to help.

Then with as little grace as possible I dragged Blade out of the town, by his feet, dragging his face through the dirt as I went. I dragged him a good distance from the town before I began digging, using my hands to shift the dirt around it wasn’t difficult considering the ground was softer and easier to push through at this size.

Once the beast was buried, I made my way back to the town but stopped as the trees grew thinner, deciding to sit and take a moment to myself. I wasn’t needed within the town now anyway, I’d done all that I could do. Now I would sit and probably stay here, out of sight and out of the way.

Ryder found me a number of hours later, it was well past midday, and the exhaustion was really catching up to me. I’d managed to find some bandaging in my bag and strapped my middle as best I could, but the adrenalin was soon replaced with pain, and I honestly just wanted to sleep for a week.

“You look like shit.” Ryder remarked.

“Could say the same to you.” I quipped back, he’d since dried out but his clothing and hair had stiffened from the residue of my saliva and blood.

“I think we both have earnt a bath.” He said resolutely, he skirted around me and headed in the opposite direction of the village, I had figured he meant he would find a bath in town. Where in the world was he going?

He was a fair distance away from me before he turned around waving me over.

“You coming or what!?” He shouted.

Feeling overly large and clumsy, I stood up to my full height and walked slowly and carefully toward him, seeing I was following he continued on ahead picking up his pace as best he could with a sprained ankle, so that he remained in front of me.

A short while later we came across a lake I hadn’t noticed had been in the area before now, it was rather large even by my standards and I guessed the water would at least reach my chest at its deepest. Suddenly renewed of energy, I couldn’t help my elation upon seeing the fresh clean water and was itching to jump in but I restrained myself for now.

I peeked down at Ryder having come to a crouch when we stopped, I hated looming so far above him, but it couldn’t really be helped right now, he smiled up at me and gestured to the water.

“After you.” He says.

With no further encouragement needed I pulled my shirt over my head and dumped it in a heap beside me, then with only a little hesitation, I removed my pants also, leaving only my long johns on and avoiding Ryder’s stare the whole time. I then stood and stepped slowly into the water.

It was cold and gave me goose bumps all over but in the best way possible, once I was far enough away from the shoreline, I dived in, emerging from the water with a splash and shaking the water from my hair. I smiled at Ryder who’d stepped back a little to avoid the wave I had caused, I beckoned him to join me.

I had underestimated the depth of the water and was pleasantly surprised to find it reached my shoulder blades and I let the cool water wash over my injuries, soothing them beautifully.

Ryder took his time removing his own clothes before wading out into the water, it would take him a little bit to reach me this far out, but I was patient, and I washed my face and hair clean in the meantime. Feeling like a new man and less like a monster I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face watching Ryder swim confidently toward me.

When he was about a foot away, he stopped and tread the water catching his breath and smiled right back at me.

“Gods its fucking freezing!” He exclaimed.

“It’s amazing.” I laughed. “You were right, we definitely needed a bath.”

“Well, I usually am right about these things you know.” He muttered.

Feeling stupidly confident, I lifted a hand and splashed it down again in front of him, causing a wave to pull him under, he emerged again a second later spluttering.

“Asshole!” He growled and proceeded to do the same thing in retaliation, only his splashes had very ‘little’ impact on me, causing me to laugh at his attempts. This only fueled his annoyance of course.

I ducked under the water, purely to keep my face familiar with the temperature of the water when a mischievous idea struck me. I angled myself directly below his kicking legs, admiring them for a moment before blowing the remaining air from my lungs up toward him. I watched as I succeeded in propelling him out of the water and then back down again with a splash.

I emerged coughing on water as I was unable to hold back my laughter, Ryder on the other hand was less than impressed.

“Just when I was changing my opinion on Giants, you prove me wrong, you are in fact all just Giant dicks.” He growled but I only laughed harder, I moved closer to him then and placed a hand directly below his legs, giving him a platform to stand on and to give him a well-earned break.

“Oh, come on Ryder, we Giant’s are the best at playing practical jokes.” I smirked, he couldn’t stay mad for long, and the corners of his lips quirked upwards, and he rolled his eyes.

He sat down on my palm letting his legs dangle in the water, I sobered then observing the nasty bruise that covered his entire chest, he was lucky he hadn’t broken anything, clearly, he was tougher than I gave him credit for.

Even with the bruise he was incredibly handsome, he was clearly the natural fighter of the two of us, with a solid build, muscular and firm abdominals. He was very nice to look at, he cast his eyes up to me and I felt heat rush to my cheeks, he’d caught me ogling him, again.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. “So uh, are you really okay? I know you’ll tell me you’re fine but um if being around me makes you uncomfortable or anything then, you can just tell me.”

He raised a hand to silence me and shook his head.

“For goodness sake Hendrix, I’m not scared of you.” He was stern and somewhat astounded that I’d even suggest such a thing. I felt it was pretty reasonable since I had just been a huge part of the traumatic experience that had just taken place.

I lowered my head toward the water and came up close to him slowly, nudging his chest with my nose and looking directly in his eyes I said. “Really?” His breathing hitched and he placed his hands on my nose, meeting my eyes with a no nonsense look.

“Yes really.”

Without thinking I closed the distance between he and I and pressed my lips to his bruised chest, giving it a gentle kiss before drawing away. His cheeks were a flame and his breathing had quickened again though I honestly didn’t think it was out of fear this time.

“I take it back.” He said and I tilted my head in confusion.

“You are scary, positively frightening in fact.” He continued, and I slowly moved my hand further away to give him space, perhaps I’d crossed a line.

“Not because of your size Hendrix, you’re scary because I don’t know what to make of you, I don’t know how to be around you, I’ve never met anyone like you before.” He said earnestly.

I wasn’t really sure what to say so I just remained silent, my eyes never left him, I waited for him to continue. He heaved a sigh and fiddled with his hands in his lap.

“I just know that I want to be near to you, I guess that’s what scares me about you.” He finished.

I lifted a finger, trailing it gently along his back, trying to touch him in a way that gave him strength like he had done for me when I was feeling scared and vulnerable. My finger found his shoulder and then found his chin before I nudged it upward so that he was looking at me again.

“It scares me too.” I admitted softly. “I know that I don’t want to simply go our separate ways now though, I don’t think I could… When Blade… kicked you I-“

I closed my eyes fighting back the tears that came along with the memory. “I thought I had lost you and I knew then that I didn’t want to ever lose you.” My heart beat loudly in my ears, I’d never been so vulnerable with a person before, never mind a human.

“You won’t lose me.” He said quietly, a promise and a tear trailing his own cheek, this hard man, so stoic and so brave, was crying because I cared for him, I wondered if anyone had ever cared for him the way I do before.

Gently I brought him close to me and held him to my shoulder, embracing him in the only way I could at this stupidly too large size. Even despite my stupid size, he saw me as an equal, he saw me as a partner, my heart shattered into a thousand pieces in that moment.

“Let’s do it together.” He said, I brought him before my face again.

“Do what? What do we even do now?”

“We are going to go and find your family, and before you argue with me, you don’t have a choice. I am going to find your family; I need to prove to you that not everyone sees you the way they saw Blade. I know you; I see you for who you really are, and they will too…Do you trust me?” He asked, my mouth hung open, I had been about to utter a firm no thank you, but I couldn’t find the strength to do so.

I nodded. “I trust you.” He smiled up at me and I learned then that I probably wouldn’t ever be able to say no to him.

“Good, now let’s go dry off and warm up, I’m freezing my balls off.”

I laughed as we headed back to the shore. The cold didn’t bother me, I was too elated, too surprised and blown away by what had just happened. I’d only known Ryder for a little over a week and suddenly I didn’t know why I had been living before, and he gave me a reason to.

With my heart warm and full, I couldn’t wait to begin our next adventure, together.

The End