#also i think everyone should have something really really weird that theyre afraid of

[nqn]

In theory I would enjoy stendyle but the anti-cartman attitude in that circle of fandom ruins it for me. I'm also just very picky with how Wendy is betrayed. I think she's more of a tomboy than the fandom wants to admit

HONESTLY. you're not wrong. i enjoy the ship only when im looking at it and applying the mental notes of my Own headcanoning and whatnot.

like any area has a really loud "cartman bad no ifs and or buts" and i'm such a fan of Nuance so its SO SAD. i cannot deny, as a teenager i was also NOT a fan of him- but as an adult with media literacy im like. obsessed with the idea of analyzing him.

which. i got outta hand. adhd and stream of consciousness, y'know how it goes sometimes haha. lemme read more this.

and the stendyle stuff SUCKS bc its so like yeah. fuck that guy. but ???? why. i don't think thsoe three dating WOULD really change their opinions on him as a whole. kyle and stan ARE his friends. even if theyre always at each others throats, they ARE friends. and wendy and cartman aren't like. besties. but i think that their competition towards each other can be really fun bc shes not afraid to stand up to him- like even less nervous about it than kyle is. and i think she sorta seems to revel in having someone who she CAN get into little picky bitchy moments with because its something she's not offered often.

so YES. i do think that those three would hang out on a date and someone would bring him up and they'd be bitches for a minute bc he gets on their nerves, but i don't understand why so much of the fandom is like yeah fuck cartman all my homies HATE cartman. he is ten years old + heavily abused + has an unhealthy relationship with basically everyone who should have raised him. that's not even TOUCHING on his actual trauma. but we've been shown, TWICE, canonically, how he can grow up into a better person- not perfect and not 'fixed', but he can be better, so i don't get why everyones like yeah. that thing is the worst in the world forever with no room for discussion.

-

as far as wendy's portrayal by the fandom i gotta agree. she's always been the fish out of water of the girls canonly, and i think too many people just sorta boil her down again to like. pretty. smart. awkward. they bring up that time she fought cartman and enjoy it but like. she gets treated like either Girl Kyle or.. Pretty but Shy or something??

she's never doing the Trends with the other girls at first, and i know she's the like "awkward" girl out of everyone, so she's used as an offset for Whatever Shit the other girls are getting into. but she's NOT shy and awkward or anything! she's loud and proud until she's beaten down. she's opinionated and chooses not to engage with trends and i think a lotta ppl see that she's a very feminist character and theyre like yes! thats the Girl™

but i think. personally. that wendyl was a really really awesome move. i wish more people would play with that idea, of wendy being ABLE to be less of a Girl for a while, even without bringing the transgender stuff into the picture. she can be boyish and wanna be crude and weird. she's educated and smart, but that doesn't mean she isn't ALSO a sorta tomboy? like she's so cool. i love wendy. so much.

and so many ppl also sorta just make her Girl Kyle which. don't even get me started. i think that drawing comparisons between them as "stan has a type" can be VERY FUNNY but too many people push it too far? so they basically treat her like she's just a stand-in for kyle. but she literally isn't. she's so fucking COOL by herself.

AND like you pointed out- her reaction to stans cvs!! yes she goes "ew!" "gross!" but she. listen. the girl still kisses him while after he finishes spitting the last of it out. i think if she was allowed to just be boyish and no one stopped her then she'd have so much fun hanging out with The Guys.

[kayotic-idiot]

i have a ghoap au im calling "private person au"

so weird idea i have thats like a mix of the og and reboot cod mw

so 141 is comprised of Price Ghost Gaz Roach and theyre working w/ Ale, Rudy, Kortac and others. specifica of who exactly is 141 doesnt matter, what does matter is that Soap is not 141 in this au

now for whatever reason 141 ends up on a Glasgow miltitary base with Captain MacTavish; who, after becoming his neice's guardian a few yrs ago following his sister's passing, he took an on-base job training recruits and being on the field as little as possible. His neice lives on base with him, shes a cadet and has the teenage power of giving snarky all knowing looks and being able to get away with lauging in people's faces at their stupidity.

so Ghost and Soap are married and co-parent the neice im naming Maisie.

when the 141 end up on the same base as Soap and Maisie the family decides to not tell the 141 straight up that ghoap are married but they will if asked directly.

the 141 initially assumes that Ghost is like friends with Soap or that they used to work together (not entirely wrong but not exactly right) but what really confuses them is his relationship to Maisie. they're really close and at first they think "ew is this like nonce shit?" but when Price pulls Maisie to one side and asks if thats whats going on she laughs in his face hysterically for almost two minutes before calming down and saying "if it was anything like that you wouldn't find his body" (ghost taught her intimidation skills, price will never admit to being afraid of a 15-yr-old but goddamn shes scary)

so they're no longer worried about that but they are confused, ale and rudy are the first to figure it out and ask but they find the entire thing so funny that they aren't going to say anything

price is next, he realised that ghost treated Maisie like his kid and went from there. he also thinks the situation is hilarious

eventually everything comes out by ghost getting up from the table at the cafeteria to go do paperwork or something and kissing soap on the cheek before he goes, everyone is in shock and soap doesn't even address it he just keeps talking to ale about training recruits and the best methods for various things (they bonded over being in charge of bases)

it doesn't get addressed until the next day, gaz is the one that broaches the question ghost just responds that they've been married for like 12 years, practically since they met because they knew the other was it. Roach just quietly congratulates them before gaz blows up like "how did we not know????"

"im a private person."

"YOU HAVE A HUSBAND AND CHILD!!"

"you didn't need to know"

Maisie found the entire thing hysterical, she takes great pleasure in telling gaz "ill tell my dad" when he annoys her and he doesn't know if he should be more afraid of ghost or soap

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Greetings everyone! So uhm. its been a while since my last liveblog post. there have been some circumstances that made me really not wanna read, but now they have passed and I have risen from the ashes like a glorious phoenix and I can resume my divine mission of complaining about this mediocre-at-best book series to an audience of as many as 60 people if you can believe it. Also we're back to the style of post where I just jot down all my thoughts bullet-point style because my life is in shambles

Anyway, last time we had a chapter where literally nothing happened except for Lucien showing up at the very end, so lets see what he does in this chapter 47

I still cant believe its been only two months since Feyre started permanently living at the night court and forgiving Rhysand for torturing her, its taken me longer to forgive people at my school who mildly annoyed me. Also wait, Feyre was UTM for three months, shes spent more time consecutively being tortured by Rhysand than consecutively having a good time with him wth

Feyre stop fuckin jacking the bat boys off challenge (impossible!!)

Ive seen this part where Feyre talks about the bat boys being so much stronger than Lucien in english where shes like "Lucien may have trained to be a warrior, but Cassian, Azriel and Rhys were Warriors" like oh fuck, we gotta get out of here!! those guys are Proper Nouns!! But in the german version, this line is just "Lucien may have trained to become a warrior, but Cassian, Azriel and Rhysand were warriors" because nouns are always capitalized in german and not just when theyre Super Epic and Cool so you cant do that thing that english books do with proper nouns, and Idk i think thats pretty interesting

Something about Feyre being all like "theyre hunting me, its like Im their prey" really pisses me off, I think its because it could be cool and thematically relevant but instead its just kindof nothing

Speaking of which, Lucien coming ip to her and saying "We've been hunting for you" is so forced, it reminds me of how Tamlin would say these weird objectifying things to Feyre alllll the way at the start of ACOMAF even though hes never said shit like that before, except this is way worse because who on earth would say it like that?? hello?? If you were looking for someone who went missing, you'd say like, we've been searching for you or we've been looking for you, not we've been hunting for you thats just insane

HUH?? which high lord gave her the ability to slow down time??? Thats so overpowered and I dont remember anyone ever talking about it

Oh, of course they cant just be afraid of Feyre, they have to be afraid of Rhysand who just showed up

Did this motherfucker really take the time to change his outfit just make his dramatic entrance just a little more dramatic? Honestly, if it was any other guy I would think thats so iconic, but because its Rhysand just wearing his fucking black tunic again I just want him to explode

"Has your mother, the Lady of the Autumn Court, not taught you that you should listen to a lady?" why he have to say that Lucien's mom is the Lady of the Autumn Court thats so awkward. Also yeah, it sounds more awkward translated from german to english because they use both 'Lady' and 'Dame' (which is german for lady) in the same sentence, but its still just a very bad line

This is actually kind of interesting because Im guessing Lucien called Rhys a dirty son of a bitch in the original and then he growled because its like, oh Lucien insulted his lovely mother that he loves soooo much, but its been translated here as 'Hurensohn' (lit. 'whore's son') so it gains this additional layer where Lucien is not just insulting his mom also using a word that's like a trigger for him which makes it much more impactful imo. good job, Ms. Ernst

The fact that Feyre is getting on Lucien's case for siding with Gamlin over her is mighty ironic when you consider whats gonna happen in acosf, but also Lucien right now and the IC in acosf are making the same choice of listening to their close friend of several centuries over his gf that theyve known for like a year. Like, yeah, obviously its super shitty in both cases but I do get why they did it. And thats not even factoring in the political power Tamlin and Rhys have over their friends, like, it really doesnt matter if you "dont enforce rank" because youre the super special ones who were literally chosen by god to rule, you have an inherent authority over the people around you

This is all so frustrating because I do sympathize with Feyre for feeling abandoned by Lucien because that is essentially what he did, but I really dont like how hes portrayed as being unambigiously in the wrong for caring more about politics or himself than Feyre when its like, first of all, politics impact sooooo many people of course making sure that the SC at leats looks stable from the outside is more important than Feyre's mental health, and second of all, Feyre also pretty much only cares about herself. Which is her right btw, she has been very traumatized, she should be prioritizing herself for a while now, i just dont like the way the narrative frames this whole thing

Honestly, Feyre's kinda slaying rn. Her with her big spooky bat wings being all like "when youve been trapped in the darkness for so long it becomes your best friend" is kinda cool, idc

Okay, nevermind, she slayed for exactly one line and then she was nearly choking on Tamlin's name "because of what Rhysand did to him" girlie that was centuries ago why are you making this about him when he was being abusive two months ago* *i dont think he was actually being abuse but thats the framing of the narrative so im just going with it

I would usually properly translate this line but my brain isnt up to it at the moment, but its onpage 528 and I think you'll know which one I mean if you look at it, but I dont really understand Feyre being like "if I had stayed at the spring court and just given myself over to my own misery, I wouldve learned to take pleasure in other people's pain" Is it trying to justify Feyre being needlessly cruel by implying that it was inevitable and that her UTM trauma would've made her become like this no matter what? First of all, you cant say that for sure though and second of all, wowweweee Sarah Janett Maas knows soooooo much about mental health, she should become a psychiatrist, no degree necessary

"You are dead. You and your entire damned court." ohhhhhh so THATS why they call him death incarnate. Someone bring him back to life so no one ever calls him that again

??? Feyre was talking about how weird she felt about her lack of feeling when she was speaking to Lucien just now, but she was thinking about feeling guilty for desjring Rhysand?? what. Am i just being stupid rn or are those things no in any way related

man this chapter was exhausting

[mabeysomeclasspecting]

You're still doing requests? Awesome! Can you classpect mine 🥺 no need to rush with it ofc, pace yourself! Uhh, lets see.

1. What are your interests/hobbies?

i have a lot of interests but if i have to put a pin on them, its always about exploring something new. watching a mysterious internet arg, writing down worldbuilding ideas, getting myself lost because my hometown start to get too samey, exploring abandoned buildings, and watching plays and backyard gigs. which is ironic because i live in a small-ish town, there is not much excitement or exploration to be done in here, but i make do. other interests of mine would be music. i like music that are weird, distorted, and just off. i love it when the rhythm is a discordant mess. however, just because i seem to go out a lot doesnt mean im the social type. i mean, i try to be, i kinda have to get used to keeping secrets and doing things all alone to get some freedom / agency in life.

2. How Do You See Yourself?

Honestly it depends on which character i latched on to that week. I dont really care for having an internal self. Whatever serves what i want best is my current self. But, turns out im not that good as a social chameleon. So, one thing I can recognize about myself is i don't quit and give up on things even when I should. When I want things, I might not be very motivated to get it, but I'll always work on it no matter how long it takes or how many times it has failed. Oftentimes I worry that im too slow and that no matter how much patience and devotion i have to my wants, I just dont have enough energy to actually get it. Or i'll end up ruining myself in the process.

3. How do you think others see you

Unforgettable. Striking. strange and offputting. Acquaintaces say im okay but a little aloof/strange. My family say i work hard but i have no sense of self preservation, tbh i think theyre biased. My friends think im smart and a little impressive. But closest besties, despite my best efforts, see that i used to be super sheltered and inexperienced in social settings. its terrible!

4. How do you interact with your friends?

Hm, depends on what kind of friends. if theyre the hangout friend, i'll just sit back and occasionally make them laugh with my dumb antics and give out some trivias to make things fun and easy. If theyre the deep conversation friend, i would try to impress them with how much i know. its overcompensating i know.

Its not all roses with me though. Some of my friends did say i can be unsympathetic to their problems. which is surprising to them because they thought im nice. i didnt mean it, i guess i just dont get why people just lament instead of finding a solution. its so... helpless. i dont want to be my younger self who let himself get trapped in his own house and miss out on so much life because theyre too afraid to act. so why people do nothing but feel sad when awful things happen is beyond me. And that comes out harsh when people are used to my lighthearted, easygoing self.

5. What's Important To You

I need to feel good about myself. And that's very much reliant on me working for my dreams. Not some escapism or fantasy. I also want change, a kinder world, justice. I want everyone to get whats been stolen from them. However, I spent so much time and wasted so many opportunities because of that dream, it almost feel like its holding me back from permanently feeling good for myself. but when i think about it, im not angry or disappointed. I like to see the silver lining in everything i guess. but there's limits to this. Yknow the phrase "fighting the good fight?" i think, its not enough to fight, you have to win, no matter how many rules you break or how many things become collateral damage. doesnt matter if youre in the right side of history or how many times you prove bigots wrong if you keep losing and dying. and thats a matter of action and bravery, not morals.

6. Describe the ideal you, what kind of person do you strive to be?

Impressive. Capable and competent at everything. Scares people but in a good way. Get shit done. Have sick-ass tattoos, have lots of friends, Can be relied on for everything. And have traveled to so many places and get so many extraordinary experiences.

(note : i wanted to send you an ask a few months ago, but there was a sudden blackout in my area right after i hit send. pretty sure its gone to the void! but just to make sure, if you see an ask thats similar in content to this (i remember saying i like internet horror, args, music, and urban exploration!) its probably mine! you dont have to answer that)

and my signoff emojis : 🫧🌪️

Hello! I definitely think that ask got lost, but I'm happy to classpect you now :)

Aspects: Breath, Heart, Time

Classes: Prince, Thief, Maid

You seem like a solid Prince of Breath to me! I feel pretty certain, but play around with those other ones if that doesn't feel right

Hope this helps!

[p1f1]

as much as i love commentary videos (i can watch those and video essays non stop for hours), theres a genuine sickness in my stomach when theyre reacting to someone whos being sexist or misogynistic.

ramble below the line, but please check out the ending part.

idk what makes me feel this way, the borderline ridiculous stuff that comes out of their mouth or the fact someone can be so stupid that they say this in todays day and age. and i get that for how modern it is some people still agree with these stupid comments and speeches but there will always be at least a handful of people who agree with whatever.

and yes i do feel this way with any type of discrimination, but it sickens me when i hear about how badly some women, as myself, hate being one. its unfair. sure itll always be that way and "life isnt fair" but still, its just crazy. if youre someone who sees a woman whos complaining about hating being a woman (not because they dont feel comfy in their own body ((or want to be a different gender)), but because they hate how theyre being treated. ), and for some reason thinks theyre being ridiculous, please dont interact with me lmao.

its sad how i feel afraid to walk alone at night or be in a car alone. or go on dates, or talk about this to anyone, or go swimming , or go out in general. nobody, i mean nobody, should have to feel afraid to be out in the world, because thats wrong. especially with todays messed up beauty standards. im not exactly skinny, but at least im trying to change myself. it hurts alot when someone points something you hate about yourself and acts like you dont know. its sad how no matter how pretty or skinny you are youll never be good enough. i hate it. people arent perfect. nobody is. nobody ever will be because thats how humans are.

i have had encounters with sexists. just as any person would. and when someone makes fun of you or mocks you with the reason youre a woman, it doesnt make you feel smart, and its not easy to not let them get to you. genders, races, and sexualities will never be equal to the public. women will always be under men. gay people will always be hated. non white people will always be treated and seen differently. and in my eyes, everyones equal and always will be but me or you will never be able to change someones mind.

and ngl, i used to say i hated men as a joke, but i dont think its much of a joke anymore. younger me would call me weird for hating being a woman but im so glad i wasnt exposed to how gross the world could be sometimes.

this is a rant, but also a reminder. if you are sexist, misogynistic, racist, transphobic, or just a bigot get off of my blog.

im not the best a wording things so, if you think that i see anyone thats not white or gay differently, i promise you youre wrong. im not racist, homophobic, or any of that. this is just much better than me crying to myself about how much i hate humans sometimes.

.

.

.

also, if youre like me, and think nobodys there for you, or talking about your problems wont help, it will. i had a small talk with a friend and even though it was only a few texts and sentences, i really felt touched. i only talked about my family problems very vaguely. it was a stupid video. 'if you had one wish, what would it be?" i answered something like i wish i could change the way my family sees me and his one word response of "why?" made me so emotional.

friends and friends. people you talk to on a regular basis and people you know want to talk with you are friends, even if you dont think so.

my DM's are always open. even if this only reaches a few or onyl a few see it, you can always dm me on this acc or my other. hell i might not even know your name but just know that i care about you so deeply. i would never want someone as amazing as you to feel down or angry.

so please, if you think that talking about your problems wont help, try it before you say that. it can change decisions you make in the future that youll regret. again, my dm's are open always if youre struggling. i care.

.

.

.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

i really wonder what the context was of my last post. cause if it was about the girl who had a crush on me thats unfortunate. but if its someone else im gagged. im such a baddie. idk. idk. i think recently ive been in such a defensive state. like im waiting for something bad to happen at the hands of another person, and im expecting the absolute worst from them. i want to see the best but i also dont want to get hurt. i dont know where this stemmed from. i guess my people pleasing has gotten out of hand, because it hasnt been succeeding. 

my job is kind lowering my vibration beyond repair. i weirdly enjoy it though? i dont know. i must be too in my masculine. and of course, completely disconnected from my spirit and higher self. i cant bring myself to talk to my sister cause i know we will only trigger eachother. 

so here i am. sitting in the silence. tired of it all. 

i cant even bring myself to physically write in my journal. and working out isnt as meditative as it used to be. though im so glad i can still get my ass up and do it. its not as fun and exciting. i kinda feel guilty for sexualising myself and loving my own body. literally, yesterday i was trying to force myself to be comfortable with my skin out, that i ruined my opportunity for a relaxing walk. the entire time i was self conscious and felt like the entire world was watching me. completely uncomfortable. 

my anxiety is in a rough period at the moment. i dont even smoke weed anymore. that used to be such a spiritual practice for me and now im afraid of it. im kinda afraid of everything. especially people. 

its weird, because i seem like i love people. i tell myself im good because i am so social at work, and i perform well and i connect with customers. but in reality, i cant hold onto any kind of relationship. if i do it has to be superficial or im uncomfortable. 

i think if i shifted my focus to the good things about the relationships i do have, and the things that make me happy and comfortable and at peace, these issues im creating wont seem so huge anymore. its always like that. i should talk to my psych about all of this. i need to see her... i cant believe its been so long. like, my fucking dogs died. they both fucking died. 

they contributed to my focus on isolation at the moment. i suddenly had the ground pulled from beneath me. they were my stability and my safety. now i feel so alone, at my core, that its all i can think about. its made me realise how short life is and how quickly things can change and slowly everyone is slipping away... when i pushed them out. i forced them to leave. theyre barely even leaving when we were nothing to begin with. 

i get the feeling ive said all of this a million times before. it never really changes. 

i feel like im a really driven and motivated person. i am smart and self controlled, and responsible, and im good at the things i try my best at. im gifted. but at the same time, i cant change the things about me that cause me the most stress and worry. i am stuck. i have been stuck, for so, so long. im tired of it. im so TIRED. 

this loneliness is comforting. its healing in a way, cause i can avoid all the drama and stress of attempting to tell anyone how i am feeling. but that in itself is so fucking pathetic and toxic and weak. its like, i failed at the most fundamental human thing. communicating. connecting with others. creating a community. 

maybe one day someone will piss e off enough that i blow up on everyone. why does the idea of that bring me so much relief? 

i cant even bother myself to consider spiritual practice right now. oh im stuck in the past and its holding me back from opportunities and the blessings from the universe? bitch, im trying to fight depression! who gives a fuck about opportunities right now?! i have nothing to fucking live for besides europe. thats so pathetic. i need to get my head right again because this is such a huge mess. im under so much pressure. i have no time. time, time, time, time. 

i need to be more social, i need to be more this and that. its a fucking exhausting thing to be in my mind right now. where did all the love go? it literally died with them. grief is consuming me. i cant pause life but its consuming me and im trying to pretend to be happy but im also trying to find the happiness again but its gone. they took it with them into the afterlife. or just into the fucking ground. 

it poured so heavily today and my heart hurt with the anxiety i felt that you were cold and alone out there. that you were getting wet and without cover. why does it keep on raining? youll be so cold. i remember you laid in the rain the night before you died because you could barely move or notice it was happening. my poor babies. i miss you so much. 

this is why ive been avoiding planning my birthday like a fucking plague, like a fucking disease. how can i even think about celebrating my life when yours have ended? to even celebrate without you? its too painful. i cant pretend like this anymore. but of course ill keep on acting like im fine. its the only way. i fucking hate this world. 

[angelguk]

omg so i sent in an ask re angst jock jk n oc ! but then i also realized its highly possible these 2 break up at one point while in uni mostly bc of the "are we dating bc its convenient" kinda dilemma and then it just pushes them apart bc they think theyre losing theirselves while being in such a close relationship,,,cue save ur tears by theweeknd BUT i just know when they grow up a lil bit more, theyll end up together <3

here we go! (the beginning of the end....may be...)

didn’t include save your tears as the soundtrack but may haps for the follow-up :3

pairing: jock!jk and oc

warnings: angst, yes the break-up scene, jaykay being an ass (a very huge one motivated by his own insecurities and selfishness – translation: he’d rather break her heart and carry that weight than be the heartbroken one), chayoung is no longer Seed of Doubt but something else (still up for debate but she’s fairly nice here), not edited but hey atp that’s part of my branding (also i would like everyone to consider that oc is not the greatest gf ever like guys don’t hate jk alone!!)

soundtrack: bags, clairo + stay, gracie abrams + say you know, alina baraz

(titled — honeymoon fades)

Jeongguk’s contact name hasn’t lit up the screen of your phone for six days now and you haven’t seen his face for just as long. It’s weird to go from constant incessant  communication to complete and utter radio silence. Not a single meme deposited in your Instagram inbox, no random notification from his Twitter. Just silence, quiet brewing silence. 

It breaks two days later when Chayoung finds you coddled under your duvet, mouth stuffed with the saccharine sweetness of mint chocolate. (Jeongguk kept a stash of it at your place but who was around to eat it anymore apart from you?). 

“And why do you look like you live in a dumpster?” She’d hummed, ripping open the curtains you’d involuntarily welded shut. 

“Because that’s how I feel inside,” you’d retorted, pushing aside your laptop. The screen is stuck with an image of an idiotic character named Nabi kissing the spawn of Satan. You hope for her sake it works out. Chayoung had huffed at your response, fondly whacking your head with a stray pillow. 

“Well get over that feeling cause we’re going out tonight.” A declaration, the fierceness in her feline eyes a warning that you’re not allowed to even think of saying no. That doesn’t mean you hadn’t tried – sorrowful eyes and pouted lips as you begged her to spare you. But Chayoung is a force of nature, one that could easily wreak havoc on your delicateness. And she does though, with a string of comments that propels you out of the miserable burrow you’d dug up. 

“You’re killing everyone, you know?” She’d supplied, yanking open your closet. “You’re sulking, Jeongguk is shutting down. He’s said like five words since this whole...thing...you have going on.” 

You couldn’t help but scoff at that, toying with the corner of the large grey shirt donned on your body. Jeongguk’s shirt. One of his favourites actually. You’d thought about stealing it after spying it on his obsessively neat laundry pile, but after seeing your wandering eyes he’d given it to you instead. 

“He always does that,” you’d said after Chayoung had whipped her head in your direction, curved eyebrows perplexed. “I mean, shut down. It’s his emotional response to things that bother him. Complete detachment so it hurts less.”

She had just stared at you, a long meaningful look at left your skin prickled. 

“Huh.”

“What do you mean ‘huh’?”

A measured step forward, her body weight sinking into the edge of your mattress a moment later. “I mean, you know him so well.”

“Of course I do he’s my best-friend,” you’d said, indignation coating your words

“No–No you're not getting me. You know him. You know he wouldn’t make the move to reconcile–”

“But he should!”

“You told him to go away! He’s trying to listen to you even though he’s hurting!”

And maybe that was it, that simple implication that you were causing him pain that had you pausing, reviewing the things you’d said to him – the things you’d felt. 

“But,” a timid rebuttal, “I just–I just need him to show me that he cares.”

“He does,” Chayoung had returned. “So much. And he misses you. He’s probably just afraid that you don’t feel the same.”

“But I do! He knows this.”

“Does he?” A question in her eyes, one that you’re afraid you know the honest answer to. 

You say things and never mean them, he had said, eyes hard.

That had hurt you but perhaps he was right, there are things you hadn’t told him, feelings you hadn’t truly expressed. And Jeongguk had always been good to you, so understanding and caring, trying to fill the places were you lacked. Wasn’t he the one who planned the majority of your dates? Remembered all the important milestones of your relationship while you contributed the bare minimum. You hadn’t even told Chayoung about the surprise he had planned for your one-year anniversary, the shame of your own choice hanging heavy over your head. 

So that’s why you’re here, staring at the back of his head forlornly as the music drifts around you, flashing florescent lights bathing him a hazy glory. He hasn’t seen you yet (something you’re thankful for because oddly enough you feel sick to your stomach). It feels like you’re skating on thin ice, waiting for the impending crack to sound through your heart, ice water swallowing you whole immediately. Chayoung is the one who pushes you forward, gingerly plucking the idle drink from your hand, Jimin aiding her efforts with a soft smile your way. 

It’s time for you to try the way Jeongguk has, put aside that bumbling ego that oversees your actions and adopt the humility he’s always granted you.

“Go,” she murmurs. “He misses you.”

And God you hope he does because you’ve missed him too. 

Except the moment his honey eyes land on you you know he hasn’t.

“Jeongguk,” you mumble. Yoonoh is frozen beside him, concerned gaze flicking between your faces. Your own eyes are stuck on him, the shape of his nose, the curve of his lips, the subtle hint of the dimple in his cheeks. 

You’ve missed him, and it slips from your heart and brims in your eyes, vision blurry as your blink those stray tears back inside. 

“Hi,” you add, when his silence doesn’t break.

“I should probably go,” Yoonoh lets out, awkward words bumping into the wall of tension standing firm between you to. He settles a hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder, sending him a look that feels loaded. “See you guys later, right?”

You nod, finally noticing the lump clogging your throat. “Yeah, sure.” Jeongguk just hums, the edge of his cup caught between his lips. Yoonoh flees within seconds, leaving you to wade through this alone. 

“I–I know you’re not happy with me right now, but please, can we just talk?” He blinks at you, it feels like a premonition. “Please?”

“Okay.” The simple word fills you, like a hollow you weren’t aware of finally found the cure needed. 

“Okay,” a small smile on your lips. Jeongguk’s face is still unreadable. He guides you up and away from the deafening sound of the song bleeding from the speakers, into an empty room, the door closing behind him muting the music and giving way to the own pounding in your head. Nobody says anything for a second, both of you navigating this uncharted territory of animosity. Until Jeongguk sighs, melting into the bed at the centre of the room. You follow suit, allocating enough space between the two of you. You’ve ever had to do that before.

“You said you wanted to talk?” Jeongguk finally cuts through it, eyes unforgiving when he glances at you.

“I did! I do–Just Jeongguk,” you can’t help it drifting out. “I miss you.”

Nothing, not even a flicker in his eyes. He eyes shift to the floor instead. “Okay. I that what you wanted to say?”

“No–No not just that! I’ve missed you Jeongguk and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that i went off on you like that and I’m sorry I haven’t been the best towards you and I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like I didn’t care about you–or made you feel like the things I said or did had no meaning behind them. Because they do–they do because I love you. I love you so so much and I’m sorry if I made it seem like otherwise.” You automatically extend out for him, hoping to grasp on his thing floating to fast away from you. Jeongguk shifts and you hand tumbles down to the empty space between you instead, halted by his hesitance. 

His head drops into his palms a second later, a broken exhale leaving his lips. The motion cause the silver bracelet on his wrist to slip down the length of his arm. It jolts something in you. Jeongguk had given you a matching one but you’d ripped it off after the last argument and hadn’t considered putting it back on. But Jeongguk was still wearing his. 

“Do you really?”

“What?” He’s staring at you know, doe eyes cloudy.

“Do you really love me?” There, that stupid evil vile question that you thought you had the answer to but the words vanish in your head the longer he looks at you.

“I do–what? What are you implying? Of course, I do.”

“Of course, you do,” Jeongguk echoes. His eyes turn to the window located over his shoulder. You can see his head working through something, and you’re suddenly terrified fingertips itching to wander through his curls and coax those thoughts from his head. 

“Jeongguk? What the hell are you talking about? Talk to me, please.”

He sighs again, at it feels like your heart splinters. A sudden shake of his head and Jeongguk twists back to face you, a silent tear falling down his cheek.

“You don’t love me.”

“Wh–What are you talking about? I do! And how can you decide my feelings for me?”

“No. You don’t love me the way you think you do–the way you should.” It feels like he’s saying it to more than you, like he’s saying it to himself. “Maybe this the wrong choice to make. You know. Maybe we shouldn’t have done this.”

You shatter just like that, shards on the floor as you stare him, this person that you thought you knew. And maybe the feeling is mutual because Jeongguk is staring at you in a similar way, searching for the courage to say the words you know lie in his heart. Like a loaded cannon, waiting for the match to strike and leave you lying in pieces. 

“I think we should break–"

“No,” you cut him off with an adamance that you didn’t know existed until right then. “No, you’re not gonna say that and we are not doing this.”

His eyes narrow then, jaw set. “This is not about ‘us’, I’m doing what’s right for me.”

“How is that right? Huh, Jeongguk? Don’t you care about this? Don’t you care about me?”

He looks away then, ignoring your questions, his throat stuck. 

“Jeongguk...” You reach out again, and he allows it, shoulders sinking with the weight of your hand on them. “Don’t you care about me?”

Another heavy exhale, his eyes blinking hard. “I do. And that’s why this won’t work, not the way it should at least. I really think we should end this, or at least reconsider the reasons why we’re together. You say you love me–you say you always have but really–really think about it. About me and us and what we are. I’m sorry, I really am but I just can’t do this anymore.”

He rises then, your outstretched hand tumbling down to the empty space he’d left behind. You can’t move it, can’t breathe, your heart hurtling out of your chest and onto the ground where it lies, fragmented beyond repair and bleeding bare. You glance up through tears, watch him open his mouth and then it and look away. 

“Do you mean it?” You finally ask, and his eyes snap to you. He knows what you’re saying. There’s a pause that stretches out for eternity, coloured by the sound of the ringing in your head.

“Maybe.” It cuts right through you, lodging itself deep with intent. And then you just have to nod, swallow the scream clawing at your throat. He murmurs one more apology before his feet carry him away, and you watch, forlorn as you burn his frame into your memory, as your whole world walks out the door.

[imjeralee]

can you maybe write for Childe, Zhongli, Link, and Human!Revali where theyre immortal or live for a very long time, and one day their s/o gets hurt and dies in their arms? then years later they stumble across them again, theyre a different person but they have the same soul. yet.. they dont remember them right away...but then they fall in love again? im feeling angsty, apologies

Hi anon! thanks for the ask and sorry for the delay!! I’m afraid I wasn’t able to write a Link and Human!Revali headcanon for the time being (I will write and post Link and Revali HCs later, sorry!!!!!) but I was able to write something for Childe and Zhongli for now so here goes.

PS they’re really long so it’s below the cut. I might as well have written some fanfics on this since they’re pretty much stories XD

Childe: 

WARNINGS for violence/blood here -

When he’s dispatched the last of your attackers, he rushes back to your side and finds you lying on the ground. At first he thinks you’re playing as you usually tease each other, and so he drops beside you with a hefty sigh before he scoops you up and into his arms.

“Hey, you good? Don’t tell me those guys gave you a run for your money,” he says, grinning. He’s out of breath, sweating slightly.

When you don’t reply, however, at first he thinks you’re still teasing but it’s quickly replaced with concern. He knows something is wrong. You let out a pained moan and close your eyes, murmuring his name weakly. His playful, jovial attitude dissolves into panic. Childe sits up properly with you in his arms, giving you a little shake and asking what’s wrong.

As he turns you round in his arms, he notices you’re bleeding profusely from a grievous wound. No longer smiling, panic takes ahold of him. “What happened? No, no, no, this can’t be. This can’t be happening. Stay with me Y/N, stay with me.” Planting his hands on the sides of your face, making you look at him. “Look at me. That’s it. Just keep looking at me. You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.” He keeps chanting that over and over again as he glances around the area frantically before he attempts to lift you off the ground but you stop him. It’s too late.

Instead, you merely hold his hand firmly and he entwines your fingers together and you see the fear and despair in his eyes. You tell him you’re not going to make it but he shakes his head. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay, you hear? Teucer’s waiting for you to take him to the seaside, remember? We were…we were meant to go to the seaside together.” 

As he speaks, he holds you tightly and he feels your laborious breathing against his chest and he keeps talking until you go still and quiet in his arms and he stops. At first, he can’t bear to bring himself to look at you and holds you firmly against his chest, resting his chin atop your head, closing his eyes. 

Then he begins to weep.

A broken man, Childe vows revenge, swearing vengeance on your killers. In a blind rage, he spends countless of years hunting them down one by one. It’s not hard to achieve considering he has all the time in the world. His most recent excursion leads him to the final ringleader who lives in a citadel. Childe kills all the guards and everyone else who stands in his way until he reaches his target. At first, the man fights him but Childe overpowers him easily.

“Who the hell are you?” the man screams.

Childe rips off his mask to reveal his face. “Remember me?” He snarls.

The man goes wide-eyed and tries to run away with Childe in pursuit, but before Childe can reach him, the man has grabbed a random person in his way and thrown them onto Childe’s path as a human shield.

“Father!?” Childe hears the person exclaiming in shock as they’re roughly shoved towards Childe’s direction. Childe realises the man has grabbed their kid to use as the human shield. 

Disgusted, Childe is about to deal the finishing blow until he catches them mid fall and their gazes meet; those eyes. They remind him of….you

And something deep inside him screams STOP! And Childe is briefly brought to a halt in his rampage. He doesn’t recognise them, but he feels your soul within.

What the frick? You had reincarnated into this bastard’s kid??? He’s shocked for a brief moment and a few guards who are still alive manage to sneak up on him. Childe returns to action mode and fights off his attackers, grabs you, and whilst he doesn’t get the chance to kill his target, he escapes the citadel with you in his clutches and you’re left screaming for help.

You’ve been abducted by Childe and he’s taken you to the forest where he pins you against the tree and forces you to look at him, left and right, up and down. Whilst you plead and beg for mercy with your eyes squeezed shut and knees quaking, he lets go of you harshly. He doesn’t want to believe it’s you, but there’s no doubt about it. He senses your soul within. He recognises your eyes. You’ve reincarnated. 

“Show me.” He demands.

“…What?”

“Your birthmark. The one on your shoulder?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have any-”

“Don’t lie to me.”

He turns you round and pulls on your shirt to expose the back of your shoulder where your birthmark is. Whilst you wonder how the hell he knows you have a mark, he lets go of you then and you quickly pull your clothes back on properly, face red. What the hell!!! 

Childe just staring at you in brief shock. 

“It’s you. It’s really you.”

A lot of emotions are going through him right now; he’s relived and so damn happy, at the same time he’s like confused and angry by the whole situation

But the first thing he does is hug you tightly.

And the first thing you do is grab the nearest rock and bludgeon his head with it.

He’s taken aback and lets go of you, stumbling backwards with a bleeding head but he easily shakes off your assault and throws the rock to the side and you’re terrified, inching away as he goes, “Did you think that would kill me? I’ll let you in a little secret; I’m immortal.” 

Not really sure who/what you’re dealing with, you flee but you hear him yelling, “You can run but you can’t hide!”

And as you toss a glance over your shoulder, he’s still standing there for a split second before he promptly vanishes from his spot. This weird cat and mouse game ensues with Childe stalking you through the forest and you’re either trying to run or hide until he finally catches you and pins you against the ground. You can’t escape.

“Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you,” he murmurs, but you don’t believe him. “Just…stay with me for a few days, okay?”

It doesn’t matter; over the next few days, you’re effectively Childe’s prisoner and he seems to enjoy teasing you; he tried to talk to you but you refused and ignored him. It was quite difficult to do so especially when its time for dinner and he’s cooking grilled tiger fish - which is actually your favourite food - and although you’re salivating, he looks at you and grins and waves the grilled tiger fish on a stick in front of you, going, “Hungry?”

You turn away with a frown and he shrugs, “Suit yourself. But I know it’s your favourite.”

You’re confused and about to ask him, but you hear him eating and throw a glance at him to see he’s chomping down and your stomach rumbles. You choose to sleep instead to ignore the hunger but you wake up during the night, starving.

“Eat this,” says a voice, and a grilled tiger fish is plopped down in front of you and Childe is there, crouching by your side. He leaves you alone so you can eat.

You’re surprised by your captor’s behaviour and you initially hate him for what he’s done however he doesn’t harm you in any way. He doesn’t keep you tied up or anything and he’s quite entertained should you ever try to run away because he’ll always just catch up to you and just pick you up and throw you over his shoulder or something and carry you back. 

Your travels with Childe continues but you don’t get the feeling that he hates you or wants to hurt you in anyway. In fact, he keeps surprising you by providing you with your favourite food, favourite drinks and other stuff. It confuses you and though you want to ask him, you’re a little too afraid as to what he might just tell you. Some days you even come across him looking at you a little forlornly but just when you notice, he changes in a split second and will grin at you. Even when it’s nighttime and you’re meant to take a bath, he won’t perv on you. When you arrive at the next village, he asks for a nice room for the two of you and allows you to take the bed, eat as much as you want etc etc. In fact, he’s….taking care of you. He even starts buying you things and whilst you turn down everything he offers, you see his expression crumble and you don’t know what he’s trying to do.

One night he sleeps in the open and you grab a knife, about to drive it in his throat although you’re not sure how much good that’ll do but then you hear him murmur, “You don’t know it…but I’ve been looking for you forever…and I’ve been waiting for you for such a long time… and you end up being the kid of that bastard…the one who killed you, the one who took you away from me….the one who started all this in the first place…”

Confused by what you had just heard, you watch him in steely silence before you slowly lower your hand and put away the knife. The next day he goes “I know what you were trying to do last night. Why didn’t you do it?” 

“I didn’t want to. I’m not a killer like you.” You quip back, but he merely laughs. 

The days continue but the dynamic seems to have changed; when Childe gets you something, you start thanking him and he goes red in the face and you also begin to feel weird around him. Before long, you’re both having food together, having some conversations and you’re accustomed to travelling around with him. He’ll always keep you safe and make sure you have a warm bed each night too. Sometimes when he looks at you, you don’t look away either.

Before long, your father’s men finally catches up; they begin to hunt you and Childe down and you’re stunned when you realised you’re about to get rescued. Something terrible flickers in your mind - maybe you don’t want to be rescued and you want to stay with Childe? After all, he’s taken you to so many places and you’ve seen so many things. Your father kept you cooped up in the citadel for years and this is really the first time you’ve experienced freedom.

Also, you don’t want Childe to get caught. You want him to run away. But he won’t run away without you. And when you question this, he goes, “I can’t afford to lose you again!!”

During the chase, a bunch of arrows are fired towards your direction and you’re worried about Childe, but when the arrows are about to hit you, you squeeze your eyes shut but nothing happens. Reopening your eyes, you see Childe has shield you with his body.

You’re surrounded and as Childe falls, collapsing into your arms, he’s quickly captured and you are returned home. But everything feels boring and dull now, and your father seems more occupied in torturing Childe than checking to see if you’re alright. You ask your father what happened between him and Childe and he tells you he killed his lover many years ago and now Childe has been seeking revenge. When you ask him why he killed Childe’s lover, your father just laughs and says there was no reason.

You’re conflicted. What is this? Why do you feel pity for Childe, and anger towards your father? Why do you feel you are more on Childe’s side now?

I’m in love with him, you realise -- much to your shock. 

Your father announces Childe will be executed by dawn and you hastily rush to where they’re holding him, hoping not to be seen. When you find Childe, he’s badly beaten but still alive and you quickly unshackle him and as he sees you freeing him, he smiles at you; when the last of his shackle is unlocked, he falls forwards but you catch him and your gazes meet.

“Go,” you whisper.

“Not without you. Come with me.” He murmurs, placing a hand to your cheek. “I can’t lose you again.”

You don’t even need to think twice, nodding.

Zhongli

He didn’t think you would ever die... and in his arms no less. He found you after the battle and when he saw that you were grievously wounded, he could not believe his eyes. He was too late and unable to save you, so he merely held you in his arms as you told him with weak breaths that this was the end. He promises that he’ll find you again and holds you tightly as he feels your warmth slowly disappearing, the life escaping from your eyes and then you were simply…gone

For a while, he merely sat with you in the ashen field, cradling you tightly to his chest before he picked you up and retreated silently. No one would see him for several centuries following that but it was rumoured he went to the mountains to bury you. He was in mourning.

Zhongli never forgot you and his love for you never went away so he’s comforted by the fact that your soul will be reincarnated albeit into a different vessel and as he promised, begins to search for your whereabouts when it’s finally time.

He roams the world to no end and many decades pass. Eventually he gets tired and one day he even passes out from exhaustion, reverting to a dragon form to recuperate.

And you’re walking home from the mountains and you come across this huge dragon resting on a rock and you’re like oh my archon. But it looks like he’s sick so as you approach nervously and poke at his body gently with a stick (no response), and also press your ear against his scaly belly (he’s breathing and you can hear a heartbeat), you’re aware the dragon is still alive. You quickly rush home to grab some makeshift medicine made from herbs and return to the sick dragon

Zhongli too weary to open his eyes or lift his head, and as he drifts in and out of consciousness, he thinks he hears your voice and he’s comforted by the familiarity and as you sit with him, stroking his horns and mane, he kind of inches towards you and into your arms. As the day progresses, the sun is particularly harsh so you set up little parasols and pull huge leaves over his head to provide as much shade as possible. Occasionally the dragon has nightmares but you’re able to calm him down by petting him 

When it gets dark, you need to head home but you’re a little reluctant, so you leave behind some food for him and drape a blanket over his body (though this doesn’t cover him much). However, during the night, it’s thunder and lightning and you get worried for the dragon so you rush back out and you find the dragon being battered by the rain whilst curled up into a tight ball and shivering under the blanket so you quickly try to move him but oh lawd he heavy and suddenly the blanket gets blown away by the wind when he lifts a claw so you race after it and end up almost falling off a cliff - to your surprise, the dragon swoops down to save you and you faint but before you black out, you think you see a young man in the dragon’s place, staring at you with much intrigue

He has the same eyes as the dragon

That night, you have strange dreams of that man. He acts as if he knows you, calls you by a different name and you are also his lover. The dream is long, but ends with your demise - which forces you to wake up in a panic

You’re surrounded by the coiled up dragon who has gotten better from your care but when he wakes up, he’s cautious and observes you for a few moments. 

You and this dragon staring at each other until you slowly reach a hand to touch him 

Your hand lands over his snout and you’re surprised he’s allowing you to pat him, but whatever, you’re super happy at his recovery and you can go home now. It’s time to part ways and as you head towards the direction of your home, you throw glances over your shoulder to see the dragon watching you silently

On the way, you think about the dragon and the strange dreams and attract the attention of a group of treasure hoarders who are wandering around the wilderness. However, to your surprise, you are saved by a young man - and it’s the very man from your dreams! He manages to defeat the bandits but you see he’s hurt and he almost collapses if you weren’t there to catch him. The moment he landed in your arms and that same sense of familiarity swept over you. You’re quick enough to react and sweep those thoughts away and bring the poor man home, lugging his polearm over your back along with your basket

You look after this young man and nurse him back to health. During this time, he looks at you strangely and when he’s sleeping, his calls out the name you were called in the dream. When you think he’s having a nightmare and you go over to check if he’s ok, giving him a little shake on the arm, he throws his arms around you and holds you close, begging you not to leave him and that he had spent eons looking for you. When you tell him he’s got the wrong person…it’s as though he comes to his senses and he quickly releases you, apologising for his behaviour and thanking you for his hospitality

He tells you his name is Zhongli and because he’s injured, you give him the spare room in the back and take care of him. During this period of interaction, at first it’s quite strange and maybe a little awkward, because hell he is an insanely attractive man (he can’t be single, no way) and you’re bustling around the house, doing chores/cleaning up or tending to your garden and he watches you the entire time and this goes on for a few days before he joins in to help when you’re hanging up the laundry though you don’t want him to help because he’s injured but he assures you he wants to do his part. 

So Zhongli becomes a part of your everyday life where during the day and you both have breakfast together before you head to the market together to buy groceries and later, he accompanies you to pick herbs in the mountain. 

One day you’re tired so he sits with you and massages your leg and you’re so embarrassed but at the same time, your heart is beating like crazy. He even carries you down the steep path all the way home. 

At night time and you sit together on the front porch watching fireflies and chatting idly for hours. 

He ends up staying for a long time and one day, when it’s time to redress his wound, you notice he’s completely healed - and it looks like he actually healed up a while ago. You blink in confusion before turning to him and he looks at you before he reaches for your hand and holds it firmly, smoothing his thumb over the back of your hand

A distant memory, more like deja vu, flickers through your mind and you realise Zhongli has held your hand like this before and you run out of the room, confused. Zhongli worried he scared you off so he doesn’t pursue you

When it’s night, you dream again but it’s becoming so vivid you end up confused the next morning, waking up in an unfamiliar house and in an unfamiliar body and screaming for Zhongli. As you calm down, he holds you in his arms and it reminds you of the dream you had when you died in his embrace. You briefly forget yourself for a moment before murmuring Zhongli’s name - and it reminds him of how you used to say his name eons ago and he gets sentimental, giving in because he knows you are the reincarnation of his lover and when you kiss, that’s when everything floods back and you remember everything 

Finally reunited with your lover, you share an embrace, determined not to be separated ever again

[kwonhoshi0]

𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬/𝐨 | h.c

navigation | requests : open | 25th march 2021

pairing : denki x gn!reader

genre : angst to fluff

themes : established relationship

request : angst to fluff hcs idea! denki hearing his S/O talk about their day and Denki being a little mad about something else that day he explodes his anger to her and he says "will you shut the fuck up? damn im so fucking tired of you". His S/O avoid him the following week even at work. Denki, feeling alone he asked his S/O what he did wrong. And then his S/O, almost crying, tells him what he did. He felt so guilty and bad and was finfing the way how to make it up to the. Thanks :)

note : i’m changing it slightly so they’re still in UA :p

[ denki ]

> you literally don’t argue

> in your 2 years of being together you’ve argued probably only twice and that was about safety it wasn’t out of spite it was out of concern

> obviously no one likes fighting but you both despise not being able to talk to each other as normal

> you’re the couple who do tiktok dances and play stupid pranks on eachother even if it takes hours of denki bribing you

> you have date nights every other day

> so when the bakusquad don’t see you together for a week they get a little concerned

-> scenario

> today had been a particularly tiring day training, everyone was tired but denki seemed to be going hard on himself

> he was mad at himself for not being able to withstand a certain amount of electricity before short circuiting

> since you were also busy training you couldn’t reassure him or make him feel better

> as soon as training ended denki headed to his dorm room laying face in his pillow

> you had arrived a little after him with mina and since he wasn’t playing video games downstairs you figured he’d probably be showering or something

> “hey denks” he just made a grunting noise as you sat on the bed

> “it was kinda fun seeing how far everyone could go with their quirks, oh and at one point i went against mina and her new moves are so cool, i wish i could’ve used that move you helped me make but there weren’t many chances to use it”

> you looked back down at the blonde his head was still in his pillow, you nudged him a little “how was your day love” you laughed a little at hid position

> “oh i think i saw you fighting against kiri you were doing so-”

> “do you ever shut the fuck up, i’m so damn tired of you y/n” he turned over slightly staring at his ceiling

> “what-” you were confused he’d never snapped like that

> “god you’re so annoying” he interjected you scoffed not wanting him to see you upset

> “right, you won’t be saying the same thing when you’re begging for my attention”

> he hadn’t really caught your words, he didn’t even realise what he had said

> when you got back to your room you overthought it a lot how long has he thought that about me, did we just break up

> you knew you were overthinking but that didn’t stop you from crying about it fuck has he really thought that shit about me from the beginning, that he’s tired of me, that i’m annoying

> you avoided him like the plague that night, you didn’t go downstairs much and usually you kept your door unlocked so he can sneak in but you locked it

> it hurt a lot knowing he thought that about you

> you went downstairs to grab a drink kirishima bakugou and sero were sat playing video games

> “hey y/n are you gonna play tonight?” you shook your head and walking over to him to see what theyre playing

> “you okay? you look tired” well i am tiring apparently

> “yeah sorry, just tired” you lied

> “oh in that case you should rest!” you smiled at the redhead nodding at his words

> “oh and y/n kaminari seemed worked up when we sparred earlier is he okay” you winced a little before pretending to have not heard them

> you opened the door of your room and struggled holding your water phone and books

> “hi sunshine” a sleepy voice that usually made your heart race except it made your heart rate speed up for a different reason

> you quickly closed the door and locked it sighing

> “y/n? what happened? is this one of your pranks you’re not getting me back by locking me out”

> the next day you woke up slightly earlier than usual, denki usually woke up late anyway so you took your time

> you walked to your class with bakugou and kirishima and sat in your usual seat

> when denki arrived he was a little confused since you hadn’t stumbled into his room at 6:30am and cuddled him until your alarm went off

> you didn’t have breakfast with him or walk to class with him

> you hadn’t even looked at him this morning and it scared him

> he wanted to talk to you but aizawa walked in making everyone sit in their seats

> for sparring partners you paired with bakugou since your quirks are pretty compatible

> during your sparring session you had pinned his arm behind his back which meant he fell on you since you were both so unbalanced, he had his arms on the ground caging you beneath him

> the electric type stared in jealousy wait is this why they’re acting weird? because they want to leave me for him

> fucking dumbass no just don’t hurt my feelings🌝

> you sat with the dekusquad since you’re friends with all of them

> it wasn’t too weird to others since you and the deku squad are pretty good friends

> you successfully ignored him for another school day but there was still the dorms

> “oi dumbass we’re doing movie night you comin” you smiled at the blondes softness towards his friends “sorry i’ve got uh homework”

> “uh homework?” you glared at him “you know what i mean”

> he rolled his eyes before going back to your friends

> denki watched from afar he wanted to make you smile, he wanted to do that so why weren’t you letting him

> “y/n” you froze a little hearing his voice so pleading but you shook it off and went to your room

> the next couple days were hard you didn’t know where you stood with the boy and you were honestly afraid to find out

> denki had tried to talk to you but everytime he did have the chance he chickened out afraid you’d say you don’t want him anymore and that terrified him so much he couldn’t think about it without tearing up

> it had been about a week since what happened and everyone noticed the atmosphere

> you both looked miserable and you wouldn’t be caught in the same room together

> “oi y/n open up, Now dumbass” you groaned letting the blonde in

> “what the fuck is going on with you and dunce face?!” you sighed

> “i’m not exactly sure” that wasnt a lie, you don’t really know where you stand with him

> “explain”

> “i went to his dorm as normal and he told me i was tiring and annoying and asked if i ever shut up.. it may not seem like much since you say that all the time but it’s the way he said it, he said it with so much hate, just didn’t feel great i guess”

> “just suck it up and talk to him, you don’t know what he’s thinking so find out”

> “and what if he wants to leave me”

> “then fuckin let him if things are meant to work out they will, besides i’m not doing this out of kindness, you’re uh not at your strongest during training so”

> you smiled a little hearing the blondes excuses for caring about his friends

> just as you let bakugou out denki watched and looked at the ground feeling tears in his eyes

> your eyes widened a little as he pushed open the door letting himself in

> “i don’t know what i did but you could’ve broken up with me before dating him you know!”

> you furrowed your eyebrows holding back tears

> “is that some sort of fucking joke denki?, you can’t tell me i’m tiring and annoying asking me if i ever shut up and then accuse me of cheating when that was very clearly your way of telling me to fuck off”

> just as he was about to ask what you meant he remembered what had happened that day, he was so tired and caught up in his own anger that he had forgotten

> “what the fuck, y/n i’m sorry i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to say any of that.. i shouldn’t have accused you of anything or taken it out on you” he let a tear slip out staring at the ground

> you thought about it and scolded yourself for overthinking so much

> “can we be okay y/n.. i love you even if i don’t deserve to”

> you sniffled a little at his words before smiling “do that again and i’ll fucking gut you”

> he jumped towards you with a grin on his face engulfing you in a hug

> “i missed this, i missed you so much baby”

> you nodded into his neck “me too”

A/N : pain only pain, i barely see any denki angst to fluffs so i’m here feeding my people😫

taglist : @todoroki-shoto-is-life @blazedbakugou @luluwiie @blue-gold-demigod-clouds @gazelle-des-pres @gaysimpsstuff

[heyitsyn]

White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

so

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over 

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend 

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away 

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen 

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time 

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost  a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside 

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that 

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back 

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy 

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him 

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up 

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry,  you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you 

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now? 

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience 

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes 

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

[thisisamerlinonlyevent]

my mind keeps thinking abt that hunith raised merlin alongside balinor and nimueh. i cant stop. what a powerful child merlin would be dude like.

you mix hunith’s kindness and humanity, balinor’s calm and level-headness, and nimueh’s cunning and confidence, and you got a child that can and probably would kill you if his parents wouldnt be upset abt it (nimueh would be upset but it depends on who and how he killed said person, but then hunith would get upset either way so nimueh would too).

gaius gets so many weird letters, suddenly hes speaking to balinor again and thats so good but nimueh is there too?? and he has a nephew?? with powerful magic?? whos balinors son so he’ll also be a dragonlord?? and nimueh is there??? and also damn his sister really loves nimueh a lot those two better get a move on. hes so curious to meet merlin, he loves him already

they also tell him abt the destiny shit, which gets him interested and he goes on his own little trips to the library to find what he can (which is nothing) and he would go to the forbidden section but. he’s scared of being found out. still, hes keeping his ears open for anything related to merlin, emrys and just magic in general

nimueh finds out abt a mordred child, who’ll be a torn on their side, and she’s trying to find him (she also finds out abt a powerful witch who will also be between merlin and his destiny but shes too afraid of the witch being her and afraid that hunith and balinor would think the same and try to kill her so she hides that from them). they find him, a mere 2 year old, a druid boy in some camp. the druids recognize nimueh and become wary but then hunith and balinor come with her and they calm down. merlin who is ten at the time also comes, but the druids know better than to overwhelm him so they leave merls to his own devices.

which apparently means meeting 2 year old mordred n liking him so much he swears to become best friends with him. hunith thinks this is good, she wants merlin to have more magic friends, balinor also thinks its good but because it is useful to have mordred on their side if he was destined to be their enemy, nimueh doesnt like this and doesnt trust mordred and merlins friendship. she tells the parents abt it and advises them to break apart their friendship. hunith disagrees and tells nimueh she wont let merlin become alone and bitter and distrustful of others because of something like destiny, he should make his choices. nimueh says that this is unfair considering that merlin still doesnt know abt his destiny and shes sure his mind would change once he knew. when both women look to balinor, he tells them that theyre both right and that they should tell merlin abt his destiny and let him choose whether or not to continue trusting mordred, who is still 2 years old.

merlin ends up hesitating for a few days after learning abt it all, unsure abt mordred. nimueh feels proud while hunith feels resigned, balinor is just ready to move one. after they leave, merlin tells them that he regrets being so cols to mordred when hes just a child but hes afraid of what their destinies hold for each other. so the only solution he can think of is visiting him once in a while, just to be sure, and also he got attached to the baby so yknow. its a decision that is agreeable to everyone, and theyre all very proud of merlin for being so smart and fair abt it.

i was just thinking abt how would merlin meet the characters on the show in these circumstances so here’s mordred

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[faemen]

Don't know what you mean by again, but. Isn't that transphobic? People worked so hard to get recognized as the opposite sex, male and female. It's literally in your pants... if you want to be unique, then "catgender" and "stargender" and "neopronouns" aren't it. You're not quirky, just offensive. You seem decent so please change your mind.

mmm sorry but no. im trans myself and while i know that doesnt excuse me from being transphobic to others, dont think im going down like this. you DO realize that gender literally isnt a real thing, right?

like. thats why people use the "oh its an illness there isnt actually anything different in their brains or genes" excuse to say trans people arent real but... its literally looking at different people's bodies and going "okay, we're going to divide ALL of society based off this now. itll be our main assumption and biased system, and anyone who goes outside it is or does everything different is a threat to us."

itd be like going "okay, brunettes are not allowed to express emotion, must be the strong ones, and blondes have to be soft and do all the kid work" ultimately? its LITERALLY all based of body parts. its allowing people to judge other people without getting to know them because of labels and boxes that we're all forced into.

which is.. what youre doing rn actually. YOURE being transphobic by saying the opposite gender and that xenogenders dont exist, actually. and that we must all stick to a binary of our own creation.

and no, im not dismissing any trans people. you know why? because although gender didnt exist to begin with, it DOES NOW, and its a really important part of people's identities. its more of a feeling than anything you can explain with research, and i think thats really cool tbh. its why sometimes we're queer, sometimes we dont label, sometimes we choose names based on who we love or dont instead. we change, we evolve, because we're all human at the end of the day. gender is something weve reclaimed as important, a part of us. and sometimes? male and female just dont define that.

yeah, sometimes your feeling IS of another one in the typical binary, and the parts associated with the gender everyone assumes you are can be painful to look at. that doesnt mean that people without dysphoria or with xenogenders are invalidating you in any way. theyre just exploring an open concept WE as people invented!! theyre making up their own definition for their identities and creating nouns and flags to represent it and.. dont you think thats awesome?

its also why it makes me sad to see all these exclusionists and haters. cishetallos ARENT the enemies, actually. its just society as a whole that decided thats the norm, and the default, but its really not. we're all so unique and different and i think we should give each other a chance.

its why queer used to be a slur, because they were afraid to not know everything. they didnt like that we were going outside of what they always knew, couldnt be put into boxes, that we were unpredictable. THAT was queer to them. different. weird.

but to us? we're all considered weird, so we banded together under that word. whats the point though if our own community, that was forced to form under those same circumstances, cant be open to new identities? weve already been pushed out of 'normal' circles for being different, so when people like you want to make a new normal IN THE QUEERS AS WELL, there is no point. may as well keep on dividing and dividing until nothings normal anywhere.

i.. talked for a while there didnt i. but hey, hope it helps. im not like you, so id like to give you a chance. i havent lived very long under the queer umbrella, but even i know what its supposed to stand for. i hope you and all the rest with hatred and exclusion still in their hearts can learn too.

[misterbitches]

Dude yong jie’s character is literally unbearable this is like how not to write a vharacter 101

Our first intro to him is stalking, then PUNCHING someone in the LIVER bc the person he “loves” was fucking drunk and he blames his best friend? Then his mom is like “lmao actually um hes psycho” so anything they try to do retroactively like how they peppered in HIS DAD DIED A BLOO BLOO but previously it was also his OWN MOM going “im afraid he’ll lose his humanity” so not only was there no breathing room then it’s bumrushing him into their lives as best friends and it doesnt work. This dude sucks and he isnt even fun to watch. You know how breaking bad has one of the most abysmal main characters of all time but all of us were fucking ENGROSSED but the show made it clear that every enemy he faces, even the DEA, we want THEM to win (it is also a class analysis but woreva) so i am like wtf they show us literally nothing here. He’s just there. Wasting space and being awful. What is the purpose of his character in ssu’s life? Once you rape someone it is fucking over full stop but he didnt even fucking manage to start off in any compelling fucking way. Absolutely bonkers dude Esp bc theres at least a base moral code ie DONT HARRASS GIRLS UR “INTO” and thats why mei fang the absolute mad lad beaut was like “lmao nah i hate u”

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?????????????????????????????????? WHERE IS THE WRITING HERE? WHAT IS THE SCRIPT? awhat is the PROGRESSION? This is such an insanely fucking dumb plo5 point i rly cannnnjnnntoeiwijshsgsgsgsgsgsgeggwiwowiw GORL

Lets talk abt the good things in the characters (theres none for yong jie hes just there being a little bitch)

Li cheng - himbo dumbass “manly” cutie and the manly stuff is fun cos it gets heaped on and yet every bit of him can be extremely “feminine” and jubilant. Great.

Muren - seems >:O but i rly like that hes actually pretty open in his own way. Side note: he is so thin and willow-y i rly loke tall pretty boys (and all women lmao) and he doesnt do it for me but He suits the character like his body and the way his character is. Also u gotta be weird and he is

Hsinng ssu (girl im never gonna learn how to spell their names it’s too much work cos the eng alphabet andnromanization is terrible) - mild mannered, good son, a homosexual confirmed confirmed g”(awesome!) great friend, good brother (and i guess his reward is being raped, great message!) and someone ppl like

The establishment of the three of them and their distinct personalities happens within minutes and then we meet

Yongjie - what about him? He may have an MI, okay, but we dont know for sure and oh gee that doesnt matter actually bc u have to get urself treated and also not be terrible. Not even psychopaths do the shit he does BC THEY HAVE TO GET HELP. Why the parents didnt get him help and are just realizing their son is terrible? Who knows . His purpose seems yo be “boy obsessed with brother like his actual brother” i dont care id they arent related in that way bc that’s not the fucking crux of incest and it is so insanely Fucked every thing to do with incest is almost always a disgusting powe r issue. WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE? WHAT DO WE ONOW ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN HE IS A FUCKING JERK AND AN IDIOT AND SUCKS AND I HATE HIM AND THAT HE WANTS TO STALK AND ATTACK THIS REALLY AWESOME FUCKING DUDE OK

There’s no returning point deom rhe line they croased byt theyb set him up for failure. Even in the fight hes a fucking cheater hes a goddamn immature rat they know he fucking sucks but he just sits there and waits for everyone else to move around him. A fucking selfish prick with nor edeeming qualities snd hes also a violent rapist stalker. Really great that thry have no clue how to make this dude actually have any humanity or likeability. Hes the man from 365 days basically except not even that hot and at least he kidnapped her but “WAITED” for “CONSENT” but in that movie’s world nothing mattered and it was bad and the point was to have a horny movie. But this show is for younger ppl and also IT HAS RULES AND IT KNOWS WHAT BAD ACTIONS ARE???? Soooooooooooooo in all these other dumb salacious books there seems to be just a mutual agreement that it’s fucked up but totally normal i their movie’s universee (it isnt and it is still just bad filmmaking)

Also it is up to yong jie to figure put how to get over it and understand that his brother is concerned for him. Bc it is. His brother. There’s a reason that incest is never advisable and thays bc there is no way in that situation that people aren’t somehow being coerced. There has to be a sort of split in the pursuer and the person being pursued bc one person is not thinking that way. (This is why people who find out they are related after the fact and havent grown up together is something thatms really unfortunate. They had no idea and they have to grapple with that but that is another scenario and it happens bc THEY DIDNT GROW UP TOGETHER.) i have experienced this from a (not immediate) fam member and i was the vulnerable one, had less powr, that is how it must go.

Thats why the power imbalance is scary and none of this is acceptable but it begs the question how did they get to this point? But the show doesnt even address that bc they cant bc theyre not original. And power imbalance does not mean automatic absolutely not territory. Theres things we dont like (in my casee i hate age gaps a lot) but i will avoid that.

I havemt seen “right or wrong” and i have no desire but from what ive garnered from ppl i like who liked that episode, the show outlined the moral issues with it. Idk if they did it in a way i would have preferred (again no desire) but at lesst from what ive heard it...tries? Idk i dont see the need for these if they dont give us a reason why these ppl should be together and there’s several lines that cannot be crossed that were. Basically it’s like stockholm syndrome now and there’s no choice for him, it goes beyond power imbalance and “legality” so to speak and now it’s just entrapment.

Theres not even avoiding or enjoying. Even for MODC as stupid as i found the secondary rship and negligent even like ok. Fine. Whatever. His boyfriend is 100 but at least it was semi agreed upon. It is what it is, go forth. I will criticize it but at least it was the story and as stupid and gross as i think it is and they will probs break up (idc what the show says) at least there are set ups that can make us see “why” it works and oh, gee, their whole rship relies on a different fucked up but at least at some point it could possibly be transcended. The foundation of youngjie is “rape entrapment and aw now they are in lvoe” BITCH NOOOO???? Where is the REASON? And why should we root for them? (There is none and when the Thing happens it is now impossible for that not to be absolutely foundational to their rship lmao and that is never something that goes away.)

I would like to say theres nothing romantic int he flashbacks i know thats what theyre trying to twll us but the actor is 30 and that child is like 8.

Im not missing the point bc i see it with my eyes and it sucks. If you cant even write the character well then how do you interest something heavy and work out the links? The only solution is yongjie dying i mean fucking off forever and hsing ssu not letting him into his lifeXni doubt we will get that but at the very least they cannot end up together and that will be their crowning fucking achievement over the waste of time bullshit plot this was. Imagine actual conflict that wasnt so deeply fucking traumatic and, oh, again WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? They fucked up SO FUCKING BADLY. This gives people the wrong idea about how these things work. God he is truly a shitty character and his ass isnt even fat so wtf bitch why am i here!

[milkiijustwrites]

Raffle prize 1

Medieval fantasy AU Scenario+dragon tamer hajime hinata+ forest spirit reader

For @generous1ty

❗ Fluff ❗

❗Droplet/Waterfall❗

❗1st place winner prize❗

Hope you enjoy ! ^^

A smell of something burning spread through the forest, it was a sunny day that day, hajime was seen sitting down on a rock, fire appeared on his hands, but both of his eyes were shut closed, the fire was getting bigger and bigger ,almost touching the tree beside him. With the smell of smoke, hajime opened his eyes wide and the fire was soon disappeared with a simple flick.

Hajime was bored, he could do nothing in a day like this, the only thing he had done for today was just sitting on this specific rock and play with his fire magic. He rubbed his eyes and decided to wash out the sleepiness off.

He walked towards a nearby pond and bend down to get closer to the pond. His reflection appeared on the pond. Brown haired with olive green eyes. Wearing an armour made out of thick leather as he wears a cloak on top of it as well. the tip of a sharp sword was also seen behind his cloak.

Hajime yawned as he poured some water towards his face multiple times to keep him awake.

Suddenly, something crawled behind hajime and jumped onto him! Hajime was pushed over by a certain something and as felt some sticky liquid on his face. He opened his eyes and saw a dragon licking on him!

It was klik The dragon! Hajime smiled when he figured out it was him. Hajime trained klik For a long time and they eventually became buddy partners. They will be sticking together wherever they go for an adventure.

After getting dragon saliva all over his face, hajime had to wash his face once again. He look over to klik And thought of an idea, how about going on another adventure?

Hajime had nothing to do anyways, so he already decided. He whistled ,implying klik To follow him as they walk into the forest.

The forest was full of traps , but they're all visible, what kind of people would place traps that are visible? Hajime thought. Thinking that this person definetly wasn't someone smart.

They cautiously continue their journey as more and more traps appeared. Wait... Ain't these traps are the traps he had saw before? Hajime thought as he stood at where hes at, stopping for awhile to think.

Could it be..? That they are just walking circles and circles around this forest?

Hajime decided to take a check, as he placed a blue pebble down and continue walking. They walked for some time and he indeed saw the blue pebble once again. They were inside of a certain person's trap.

He shouldn't have thought badly of them at first, hajime sighed as he felt regret on what he had thought earlier.he shouldn't have jinx it.

He walked towards another way instead of going straight to the jungle, and he meet upon a pond. It surely isn't the pond before, since the water is all muddy. Around the pond is full of long grass , it seems like this place wasn't cleaned up that often.

Just as hajime was about to approach the pond, he heard his dragon moving aggressively , looking for something. Hajime got curious and ask klik What's wrong.

"Haha! You talk to dragons? Are you a loner or what?"

Suddenly a bright voice spread through the entire forest , the person stated , with a teasing tone.

Hajime quickly turns his head around and saw a small little figure stood behind him. It was the forest spirit!

" you're the ... Forest spirit aren't you?"

Hajime asked, with a questioning look on his face.

" Ahaha, you don't know what the forest spirit look like? Geez do you lack information or what"

The figure laughed as he questioned back hajime. Everyone Im this country should know what the spirits look like, so that they could avoid them. So it certainly is kinda weird for hajime to question them like that.

" anyways, this is my forest, so step away please! "

They said with a very calming tone, it seems that they won't do anything to hajime. So hajime nodded his head and turns around , leaving the forest.

"... Wait- you actually thought I would be letting you go? If we do, people wont be afraid of us you know?"

Hajime’s path was blocked by a blue spark, casted by the forest spirit it self, stopping him from leaving

" now let's see what can I do with you.... Hey jump in this pond! It's full of horse poop!"

They said with a playful tone, asking hajime to step in that muddy pond.

"...huh... You want me to step in that dirty pond?"

Hajime asked, with a disgusted look on his face, you could say he really refused to do that.

" yup yup! Then I'll let you go!"

The forest spirit seem to be sure of their choices and do not plan to change the topic.

Hajime sighed and intended to step the pond, he doesn't want to fight you know

The forest spirit was seen to be shocked of hajime's action, for sure they thought hajime wouldn't do that.

Just as hajime's foot touched the pond, his body flew away from that pond but went towards the forest spirit's arms instead.

"I never thought you'd actually do that! I'm impressed! Fine, I'll let you go, I'll lead you guys out."

They said, looking upwards onto hajime's face since he is shorter than him, hands still wrapping behind his back.

Hajime turned his head around , not looking at the forest spirit as he got tricked by him,such childishness, he thought to himself, but never failed to think that it's actually quite cute for a forest spirit like them.

Afterwards, the forest spirit starts leading the way out to hajime and kilk , they talked on their way and hajime found out that they are just a fellow spirit that just wants to play with other people, they all thought of them just too intimidating.

" how do I call you?"

Asked hajime looking over to the forest spirit while theyre in a position where their hand behind the back of their head.

" call me droplet! Waterfall would be nice too!"

They giggled , as they continued walking forward.

Hajime smiles at droplet and Reach out his hand and put on their head, slowly ruffled their hair as he called them on their name.

"... Droplet, I'll call you droplet then."

Droplet looked at hajime for a moment and soon turned their head away, hiding their faint blush with their hair.

" g-great! I like droplet too!!"

They said, slightly trembling.

After a long journey, they finally reached the end of the forest m hajime thanked droplet for leading the way . Droplet teased hajime on telling him that he would have to pay for the tourist fee.

Hajime laughed , as he run his fingers through droplet's hair and tell them to keep it for next time.

"next.. time? "

Droplet thought they heard it wrong, will hajime come and spend time with them again?

" yeah, I'll come again , it's a lot fun talking to you, it will more fun if you tease a little bit less though,"

Said hajime, with a smile on his face. He really did enjoy the journey with droplet and all the fun things they done.

Droplet couldn't be happy more , he happily jumped up to the sky and thanked hajime for today's journey.

It was a journey both of them will remember.

" see ya! droplet! "

[peachpitmp3]

hey i mean you want to talk about how long it took for me to answer this? because the answer is. too long. for absolutely no reason i'm so sorry

!!!! you should that would be so iconic of you tbh. if you do decide to Embark on an Artistic Journey, please send/post update pictures i love art dude. so much.

FHSKDLFJKSLDJF YOUR LIFE OR THEIRS. amazing joke i remember this !!! from the time i read half of this and promptly got distracted,, i'm sorry. looking at this, it's not even that long?? of a thing to answer??

YEAHHH people always say that audiobooks are great if you have trouble focusing on paper books or are busy and stuff and i Do Not Understand

!!!!! yes. this. that sounds wonderful and heck yeah! ideal house will trap you there forever but dw because it's voluntary and so nice <3

SUDOFIJSDKX AMAZING. bro i wish you were in my closet (in the least weird way possible i just. want to meet you irl) but !!! that's very swag. thievery <3 /hj but nonetheless that sounds like a very cool shirt.

mhmm i get you. i think the sheer amount of People being People would be too much, although it would be super cool to see a live concert performance thing,, yeehaw anywhoodles. !!! YEAH YEAH YEAH you've gotten me hooked on august is a fever lmao. a friend told me about motion sickness a little while ago and !! yes. very much agree.

ooh hm. i'd say operate by vesperteen and trying not to cry by cavetown (but. only the version on youtube. the spotify one's more electo-funky which is cool! but not exactly my vibe and it doesn't hit Nearly As Hard yknow)

!!! the little fuzzy gray willow bulb things. idk what they're called but they're so sOFT and wonderful. miss the most? probably being in person and at school with all my old friends. and i miss being good at school, which sounds all kinds of stuck-up but i think this might be my gifted child burnout year and Yikes. i miss,, i miss not worrying so much about gender. that's a lot of things but y eah.

i'm afraid that i'll drop my phone through the gap between the elevator car and the floor landing, because it'll just what. drop to the basement?? never be seen again?? and it looks like it could fit my phone but i can't be sure and i certainly don't want to test that theory shdfjskdl. something deep uhhh. i'm afraid that i'm lost in the sense of "everyone else knows what they want and i don't", or i'm afraid that i'm so wrapped up in myself and my thoughts that i just become. really goddamn stupid. idk dude i'm afraid of a lot of things usedhfjk

something mundane and something deep you're afraid of? what's something small that gets you excited? least favorite thing to receive as a gift? what color palette do you use on tumblr dot com? - 🌵

no literally and now i'VE taken forever to answer so i think. i think we're even. shfsdjfsdfkjsldfjslf

ahhh ok ok i have been doing random doodles in my notebooks and stuff so i will maybe spam u sometime!!

SDFJSLDFJSLFJ i wish u were in my closet too <333

oooh i will queue both of those songs rn and they will play while i answer the rest of this!! ill let u know what i think :D

okay update my wifi is out so i cant listen to them but I WILL LATER!!!

no no i also miss being good in school. switching from gifted kid to gifted kid burnt out stuff is literally the worst feeling im so sorry </33 also yeah gender... yeah

okay actually that is such a mood tho because i also have no idea what i want to do with anything and it feels like everyone around me is starting to figure it out and i just don't know

something mundane is probably just. bees. i am so fucking scared of bees every kind of bee even the ones ppl say are harmless. i legitimately get panic attacks sometimes and i just. can't do it. and ppl get ?? mad at me for this ??? theyre like oh but bees dont even wanna hurt u :( like okay im not trying to make them extinct im just saying i can't be around them without hyperventilating. thanks.

something deep.... definitely that my perception of myself is just 100% incorrect. i'm terrified that i've just completely misjudged myself and i'm nowhere near as self aware as i think, and that i'm nothing like how i've interpreted myself to be.

something small that gets me excited is for sure just going on my phone after a few hours of not being on it and seeing messages from friends. like. good morning messages or things sent while i was in class. things like that make me feel so <3333 like oh !! people think of me people like me that is so <3

least favorite thing to receive as a gift is for sure expensive things. i havent really received any but i just don't want to ?? like i would lose them really easily and for me theyre just objects so i wouldnt feel extra grateful?? idk. that doesn't make sense. but like for example someone gave me a super fancy pen for my birthday and like. okay thanks but it's just a pen?? i like normal cheap pens better sghsjdfsjf

dark mode dark mode dark mode !! might switch it to a halloween one tho for spooky season <3 probably not tho

what color palette are you on? whats your least favorite thing to receive as a gift? do you make wishlists for things? do you like floral patterns? what's something that made you angry today/recently? what's something that made you really happy?