#also it’s me so

[wheeler-things]

Man, I’m never going to write it properly because I don’t have the patience or time, but one day I’m going to talk about my Crazier Things roleswap au.

Where—

Joyce kicked Lonnie out much earlier, and, instead of getting work at Melvald’s, decides to angle for a better paying job at the police station. Nobody believes she can handle being an officer because she’s Joyce Byers and she’s tiny and lbr a woman, but through her ferocious tenacity when the safety of her boys is on the line plus a pathetically slim pool of applicants (and the fact that I am the god if this au and I want her and Hop to swap roles because I’m swapping all the mains), eventually she’s brought on in a trial capacity. She ends up sticking around when her skills as a detective become apparent (yes, she still faces sexism in the workplace on the daily, but she is legitimately good at her job).

Meanwhile, Sara died when she was 2 or 3, so Hop’s divorce happened earlier. El wasn’t an experiment in this au (though she does have latent powers), but through some situation, Hopper ended up with El being shoved in his direction when she was a toddler. He wasn’t really in a fit place to care for her, but (for whatever reason that I have not and will not figure out) he ends up adopting her anyway. He moves the two of them back to Hawkins, and picks up a job at Melvald’s, because it’s what’s available at the time. Because all the stress doesn’t actually help his substance abuse issues (and because I need a reason for other people to doubt his sanity/perception a la s1 Joyce being doubled), he still drinks too much, and he’s not in a very mentally healthy place at all, but he’s trying his best.

Mike Wheeler might only be a little kid, but there’s already something weird about him. Even as a baby, he gets chronic nosebleeds. The lights flicker when he’s upset. Sometimes, the tape suddenly skips to or repeats a song that he loves, despite nobody touching the tape deck. Ted doesn’t notice any of this as more than a strange coincidence. Karen does her best not to think about it, but she can’t help but worry about her son.

Mike and Will still meet on the swings when they’re 5, and within the day, they’re best friends. Within the week, they also meet El, and the three of them become best friends.

The summer after Kindergarten, Karen takes Mike to see a doctor because she’s worried that his chronic nosebleeds haven’t stopped. That’s how he ends up on Brenner’s radar. And just before the start of first grade, Mike Wheeler disappears without a trace.

Max moves to Hawkins that October, and she becomes El and Will’s friend pretty quickly (she also gets a front row seat to the slow progression of the two of them losing more and more hope that their third best friend— who Max never met but knows everything about because both talk about him constantly— is ever coming home).

Karen obviously fights to look for her son, and the searches go on for months, but they find nothing. With her money and connections, Karen actually gets the current police chief kicked out of the position, because she doesn’t believe he’s doing everything he can to find her son. That’s how Joyce takes on the role of Police Chief because she might be the best detective the station has, but she’s also a woman so the thought is that Karen will probably get HER fired as well which for totally unknown reasons is the most palatable option to a bunch of people with power over the station (//sighs in sexism). Joyce actually listens to Karen, though, and is as transparent as possible about the search, even though it’s very cold at this point, so despite being dissatisfied and upset, Karen at least believes Joyce is doing her best. And that’s how Joyce ends up police chief.

Mike’s disappearance puts added pressure on the Wheeler house, so Nancy ends up acting out more for attention which is how we get Nancy in Steve’s canon s1 role as the popular party girl (though she’s still Nancy— smart as a whip and ambitious as hell, it’s just hidden better). Meanwhile, Jonathan ends up in her canon nerd role (he’s studying hard for a full ride to NYU!) with Barb as his best friend. And Steve… well, Billy showed up earlier with Max, so he got to work putting Steve down long before Steve’s rep was secure, and Steve is now something of a loner. He’s still a jock, but he does solo stuff like track instead of team sports. The upside is that this means he and Robin (who mayyyy or may not be the cool anti-establishment teen running this universe’s Hellfire Club, when the canon era starts) became friends earlier.

Steve and Jonathan know each other loosely, and are assigned to do a project together (Jonathan’s a nerd who’s taking a class above his grade level and Steve had no friends in the class so they got paired up by default), so Steve goes over to Jonathan’s house and sees Will, El, and Max huddled over their first dnd manual. Somehow (Steve doesn’t remember exactly how, but he’s pretty sure El and Will’s twin puppy dog eyes had something to do with it), a simple “oh, dnd, huh?” comment turns into thirteen year old Steve agreeing that the kids can use his place as a quiet place to play (his parents are never around anyway), and maybe he’ll get his cool friend who knows how to play to stop by and help out if they need it, and telling Joyce that it’s fine he wouldn’t mind babysitting because, really, he’s really bored a lot of the time in his big, empty house. And from then on, Steve’s place is this version of the Party’s Wheeler Basement.

Lucas shows up in fourth grade, and joins the Party. Obviously this changes his dynamic with Max— they get a slower burn in this one (and I’m still undecided whether it would ultimately end with El/Lucas/Max or Dustin/El), but he gets accepted really readily.

So… on November 6, 1983, the Party bikes home from Steve’s place after a session, and El vanishes (which is Will’s actual worst nightmare because now BOTH of his Kindergarten best friends have vanished without a trace). This leads, ultimately, to Will, Max, and Lucas going looking for El in the woods the next night. They don’t find her, but they do find a very bewildered boy with black, shaved hair and dark eyes, with the number 014 tattooed on his wrist.

[itsscaredycat]

so ok yeah fine i watched gravity falls again and read the book of bill

[almondpiglet]

ppl were drawing mikus from all over so heres habesha miku and her lil twin sibs rin and len!!

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[jackalspine]

@schnuffel-danny hehehe

regarding this post: from schnuffle

[christadeguchi]

MONKEY MAN (2024)

[qrowpilled]

hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month

[atalana]

the curse of adhd:

i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text

i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text

[artsymeeshee]

Felt a need to draw hugs (thinking about sea grunks has made me extra emotional :’))

[sopuu]

animation of jimmy getting owned in real life

bonus gif of him celebrating i made for funsies :] oh the oblivious bliss...

[cherryysocks]

can't stop thinking about this movie tbh..

[dendrochronologies]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

[ashipwreckcoast]

i could, in theory, buy a tofu press

[beebfreeb]

[daftmooncretin]

spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.

for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing

[lgbtlunaverse]

The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.