#also it's hard for me to express myself but I SWEAR I LOVE Y'ALL

[mooseonahunt]

As much as I joke with people about being a hater first and a person second, I am filled with so much love. I have so much love to give it's baffling to me

But GOD I love my friends. I love their silly little jokes. I love when they spill information on their latest interests to me. I love when they engage in conversations with me even when they have no idea what I'm going on about. I have friends giving hilarious headcanons for characters they only know by name. One of them HCs that Gavin got his nose scar after walking into a stop sign. Another HCs that Gavin's badge (the in-game model one) says Lieutenant because it's a fake badge like the ones kids play with in those plastic cop toy sets. That same friend HCs that Nines's collar is superglued onto his neck.

I love when my friends share their OCs and all the lore to them. I love hearing about their big big plans for the future. I love hearing about the books/series/fics they're writing or planning. I love hearing about their days whether good or bad or neutral.

I love my friends. I am so hesitant on saying I love my mutuals, too, because I don't want my words to be misconstrued, but I do love my mutuals. As much as I am able to love someone I don't know personally. I don't care. My love is real. These feelings are real, and I am overwhelmed by them. I don't mean to come off as weird by this or anything. I'm just so ahfdskjjfadsf hnnng about everything rn.

I don't say it often enough, but I love. I love deeply.

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Nineteen

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking, angst lol word count: 4.9k a/n: y'all i have been trying so hard to make this story good but i hope you wont kill me after this part. don't forget i love y'all :)

pov: layla

The rest of the school day flew by, having gym with Allie made it a little more tolerable and not having Mia lurking over my shoulder was relieving. I ignored the usual whispers and dirty looks, seemingly more frequent than usual and I assumed it was because people knew about Matt and I.

I didn't quite understand what we were yet, we'd only been friends for under 2 weeks and I'd already let him into my life more than anyone I'd ever known. It frustrated me how easily my walls came down around him and how much I let him affect me. I didn't even mean to but I knew I had pushed him away during lunch but part of me was relieved that I was still able to do that, still able to keep my walls up around him whenever I needed to.

As I exited the building, Allie by my side rambling about something I tuned out due to my busy mind, I slipped my cigarettes out of my bag and lit the end of one between my lips. I made sure to blow the smoke away from Allie's face as I slid the pack back into my bag as we made our way to Nate's car.

"I'll be quick," I called to Nate who was leaning against his car, talking to Chris who was leaning against the minivan beside Nate's car. Nate nodded, resuming his conversation with Chris as I tuned back into what Allie was saying.

"So what do you think? Green or white nails?" she asked me and I mentally cursed at myself for not paying attention as we came to a halt a few feet away from Nate's car.

"Why not do green and white?" I suggested, trying to cover up the fact I had zoned out and gone too far into my own head to realise what she was talking about.

"Oh, good point. What about you?" she asked, pulling her cheer uniform down as she shivered, the tights on her legs not seeming to block out the cold as much as she hoped.

"What about me?" I asked, trying to quickly puff down my cigarette so as to not make Nate wait longer than he already had.

"What are you gonna do with your nails? Oh and we also have to figure out hair and makeup," she said matter-of-factly and I let my mouth hang open for a moment.

"I hadn't gotten that far yet," I answered honestly and she nodded, a small smile on her lips.

"No need to worry. I love helping people get dressed up. We can look at some stuff on Pinterest and figure out what you want to go with your dress," she answered confidently and I nodded in response with a small smile. I had been off since lunch and I knew she could tell but I was glad she didn't say anything about it.

I felt something touch my lower back and I jumped, spinning around to see Matt looking down at me with a worried expression, "Can I talk to you?"

"We're gonna go in a second," I answered quickly and he furrowed his eyebrows as I continued to take hits of the cigarette.

"Just for a minute," he asked quietly and I heard Allie shuffled behind me.

"I'll leave you guys to talk," she said quickly before she scurried away towards Nate, Chris and now Nick. I sighed, turning back to look at Matt who had nothing but a confused expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asked and I looked down, avoiding his eyes as I let out a breath.

"Nothing," I answered shortly and he stepped closer to me. I automatically tensed and I could sense his concern radiating off of him.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to," he spoke softly and I felt guilt spread through my body but I didn't let it show as I continued looking at the ground.

"I'm fine, Matthew," I spoke blandly, finishing the rest of my cigarette before throwing it on the damp ground and squishing it with the sole of my shoe, "I gotta go."

"Layls," he tried to catch my attention again but I shook my head, walking towards Nate and Allie silently.

"You guys ready to go?" I asked and they both looked at each other briefly, a concerned look shared between them before they nodded, "Bye guys."

I waved to Chris and Nick as I opened the back door of Nate's car, sliding in without another word as Allie slid in the passenger seat and Nate jumped in the driver's seat.

I kept my focus to the left of the car, feeling Matt staring at me as he got into the driver's seat of his car and Nate waved goodbye to them before he drove out of the parking space.

+++

After spending 2 hours at the mall with Allie, I couldn't find anything that I could afford and I decided I would have to just make my own dress. After grabbing stretchy black fabric and Allie buying me a sweat tea, she decided she wanted me to go to her house.

"If you come over I can help you pick out heals and what you want to do with your makeup and hair!" she suggested as we waltzed down the mall back towards the parking lot where her dad was waiting for her.

"I don't know," I trailed off, my mood still off from my interaction with Matt. I had turned off my phone, not bothering to check it the whole time we were out because I knew Matt would try to message or call me.

"Please. We can drop you home after dinner," she pleaded, her words dragging out as the bags in her arms rustled. I sighed, running a hand through my hair before I nodded.

"Okay," I answered and she clapped her hands happily, fastening her pace as we reached the exit of the building. I trailed behind her until she walked up to a car which I could only assume was her dad's BMW.

"Hey Dad," she called in a sing-song tone as she approached the driver's window which he conveniently had rolled down, "Is it okay if Layla comes over for dinner and we drop her home after?"

"You couldn't have told me earlier?" he asked, his tone frustrated and I kept my distance, feeling like I was intruding on their conversation. I let them talk as their voices quietened before Allie spun around to face me.

"Okay! We're good," she said excitedly as she rounded the car to the passenger side and I followed suit, opening the back door before throwing my bag on the floor and sliding in.

"Hi," I tried to sound as polite as possible as I closed the door behind me.

"Hello," her father's voice sounded rough and tired and I took it as a queue not to talk further since he still sounded irritated. I kept quiet the whole car ride as her dad turned up the music, making it clear he didn't want to talk. Allie didn't say anything, only hummed along to the music as we drove through the busy streets.

Soon enough, we pulled up to a 3 story house that looked as modern as the White House. I jumped out of the car, looking up at the architecture in awe as I closed the door behind me and swung my bag over my shoulder. I didn't notice that Allie and her dad had already made their way to the door until Allie called my name.

She stood by the door, holding it open for me. I quickly jogged up to the wooden door and walked inside as she closed it behind me. I let my mouth hang open as I looked at the front foyer, the black spiral staircase travelling upwards from the white marble floor shone brightly from the chandelier.

"Mom we're home!" Allie called out to her mother, her voice echoing on the tiles as I looked up at the 2 stories above us.

"In the kitchen!" I heard a woman's voice respond, assuming it was her mother's. I looked around in amazement as I followed Allie through the foyer, turning to the right to find a huge open kitchen with a dining area right beside it, the table seating able to fit at least 10 people, "I didn't know you were bringing a friend over."

"Mom, this is Layla. Layla, my mom, Diana," Allie introduced us and I looked at her mother, smiling at her with a small awkward wave.

"Hi Mrs Finley," I plastered a smile on my lips and she gave me a short smile before looking back at Allie who was almost a spitting image of her. They had the same ginger hair, green eyes and short, skinny figures.

"You didn't tell me your friend was coming," she said through her teeth as Allie just shrugged, her mother's passive aggressiveness seemingly unphased her.

"It was last minute," Allie said, jumping up and sitting on top of the marble counter and her mother frowned, turning around from the stove where various pots seemed to be cooking over the gas.

"You need to let me know beforehand, Alison. You know this," she spoke sternly and I stayed in place by the door, not missing the way her mother scanned me head to toe. I pulled the pink sweater further down my arms to hide my tattoos that I knew she would despise.

"She's not staying over. She's just staying for dinner then we'll drop her home," Allie shrugged and her mother sighed heavily, spinning around to face the stove again.

"Al!" I heard another male voice call from the foyer and Allie rolled her eyes, grabbing a handful of grapes from the fruit bowl to her left as she threw a few in her mouth.

"What?" she called, the grapes still in her mouth as she crossed her legs and her mother spun around with a scowl on her face.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth," she mumbled before facing the stove again and I leaned on the wall beside the door, unsure of where to go.

"Where did you put my helmet?" I heard the same male voice enter the room to my right and I looked over to see a guy who couldn't have been more than 2 years older than Allie and I. He turned to look at me, his dirty blonde hair flowing as he did so and he smirked at me, "Who's this?"

"That's Layla. Off limits, Xan," she deadpanned and he snickered as he looked back at her, his green eyes shining in the lights over the kitchen, "I don't know where your helmet is. I haven't touched it."

"Fuck off. I know you moved it," he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and I noticed the myriad of tattoos scattering his tan arms. I scanned his outfit, noticing the fact that he was clad in bike pants and a white shirt, a leather jacket hung over his right arm.

"Language," Diana scolded him and he simply rolled his eyes again, throwing his head back.

"Do you know where my helmet is, Mom?" he asked, his voice slightly more agitated and he glanced over at me, giving me a smirk which I returned with a frown.

"I don't know, honey. Have you asked your father?" she sighed, spinning around to face him before she glanced at me again with a scowl still written across her face.

"He said he doesn't know," the boy next to me answered and Allie groaned.

"Xander, you're a grown man. You can find your own shit," she mumbled and Diana hit her thigh with the back of her hand lightly to scold her again.

"I left it on my bike and now it's not there," he threw his hands out in front of him in defeat and Allie once again rolled her eyes.

"Where do you need to go anyway?" she asked as she popped another grape into her mouth and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees.

"I'm going to Shawn's," he answered shortly and Allie raised her eyebrows before glancing between me and him.

"Great! That means you can drop Layla home on your way," she announced and my eyebrows instantly furrowed, giving her a confused look.

"I didn't agree to that," he quickly shut it down and Allie shrugged her shoulders.

"She doesn't mind, right Layls?" she asked and I glanced between the three of them.

"I can just walk home. It's really not that far," I lied straight through my teeth and Allie frowned, knowing I lived nowhere near her.

"It would take you well over an hour to walk home. I'm not letting you go in the dark," she argued and I shrugged, adjusting my bag that was still on my shoulder.

"It's fine really," I brushed it off and she shook her head, Xander now groaning next to me before he looked at me.

"Where do you live?" he asked, his tone short from the annoyance of his younger sister.

"Uh," I hesitated, feeling uncomfortable in the expensive house with such proper people, "South End."

"You are not driving through South End, Xander," Diana quickly interjected and he looked towards his mother with a frown, "It's far too dangerous."

A moment of silence fell into the room and I glanced between the three of them uncomfortably. Allie patiently waited for her brother's agreeance, Diana waited for his denial and I couldn't help but notice a shift in his features as he smirked and his body became less tense.

"Sure. I'll talk you home," he shrugged as he looked directly at his mother who stared at him disapprovingly, "You ever ridden a motorbike before?"

"Yeah," I answered shortly, feeling the tension in the air as he looked back at me.

"Cool. Good thing I have two helmets," he smirked before waltzing out of the room again and I looked back at Allie with a frown.

"What? Now I don't have to convince my dad and you don't have to walk in the dark. It's a win-win," she shrugged and I sighed, running a hand over my face as she jumped off of the counter, "Come on. I'll show you my room."

I nodded as she picked up her bags from the floor and waltzed out of the kitchen and I followed behind her. She made her way up the stairs and once we reached the second floor, she walked down the long hallway before entering a room on the left. I entered the room, looking around at the white bare walls and the sheer size of the place. Her room alone was the size of my living room and I noticed the grey queen-sized bed in the corner with the saude grey couch sitting in the middle of the right wall.

"Holy shit," I mumbled as I dropped my bag down to the floor, looking at the flatscreen TV on the wall at the end of her bed and the vanity covered in various makeup products scattered across it on the other side of the room, "This is massive."

"Yeah. I tried to fill the space as much as I could," she mumbled as she walked through the giant space, throwing her bags on the elevated mattress. There were two pastel pink bean bags on the floor at the end of her bed with a white throw blanket on top of them. A wooden coffee table was in front of the two-seater couch, littered with different books and a pencil case, the two pink decorative pillows on the couch pulling the aesthetic of the room together.

"This is like the size of my living room and kitchen in one," I let my mouth hang open and she jumped on her bed, pulling the various items out of the shopping bags lazily.

"You should see my parents' room. It's like twice the size," she rolled her eyes dramatically, "I don't know why they bought this house. There are four of us living here and we have three spare rooms. It's insane."

She sounded almost bitter at the fact her parents had spent so much money on the house, the extra rooms being a nuisance to maintain but I didn't even bat an eye since I was too in awe of the amount of space. I looked to the left to see a walk-in closet filled to the brim with clothes and accessories.

"Okay! Let's talk hair and makeup," she announced and I hummed, still looking around her room before I sat on her bed. She began scouring through Pinterest on her phone, saving various photos of hair and makeup for the both of us to get ideas.

+++

"So what do your parents do, Layla?" Diana asked, her tone short as her spoon scraped on the bottom of her bowl of soup. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, Allie sitting on my left with her dad at the end of the table, Diana sitting next to her husband and Xander sitting across from me.

"Uh, my dad is a mechanic," I answered shortly, only half lying. He used to be a mechanic but now he only works on cars of people he's buying drugs off of.

"And your mother?" she asked, her spine straight as she sipped on her white wine and I placed my spoon down in the bowl.

"Um, she's not around," I answered vaguely and her eyebrows furrowed.

"Whereabouts is she?" she asked, her tone condescending and Allie coughed loudly.

"Mom," she mumbled, frowning at her mother and I shifted in my seat once again.

"I'm just asking a question, Alison," she spoke so clearly and precisely that I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes at her poise facade.

"She left when I was little," I answered honestly, my discomfort obvious and Allie turned to me, an apologetic smile on her lips and I gave her the same back.

"What do you do with yourself? Do you work?" her dad spoke up for the first time since we sat down and I shrugged, swallowing loudly.

"I help my dad with his work sometimes," again, it was a half-truth and I could lie straight through my teeth easily around people like this.

"So you don't actually have a job?" he asked, his words slightly patronising.

"She's still in school, dad. Give her a break," Xander rolled his eyes dramatically and his dad frowned at him, his mouth permanently in a straight line.

"Did I ask you a question?" he asked rhetorically and Xander sighed, shaking his head as he continued eating the pumpkin soup.

"Um, no. I don't have a job yet but I'm going to get one once I finish school," I spoke as confidently as I could and he looked back at me.

"You aren't going to college? What job do you intend to get without a degree?" he asked with a frown still plastered on his face and I let my mouth hang open, unsure of my own answer.

"Okay!" Xander interrupted as he placed his spoon back in his bowl, "Are you ready to go?"

"Xander, you haven't even finished your soup," his mother pointed out and he shrugged, pushing away from the table.

"I'm done. Thanks for dinner, Mom," he said quickly and I looked at Allie as if to ask if I could leave. She smiled at me and nodded before turning to her parents.

"May I leave the table to see them out? I'll come back after," she asked, the properness of it making my skin crawl and her mother nodded.

"Thank you for dinner. It was nice meeting you," I offered a polite goodbye, the words sounding as fake as they felt and Diana gave me a tight-lipped smile that didn't reach her eyes. I quickly got up as Xander walked out of the room and I followed behind him as Allie walked behind me. I was glad I brought my bag down to the front door earlier so I didn't have to bother getting it earlier.

"I'm sorry about them," Allie said apologetically as Xander walked out the front door and we followed suit as I shook my head.

"Don't worry about it," I gave her a tight-lipped smile and she sighed, running a hand through her hand.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow?" she asked and I nodded, picking up my bag and throwing it over my shoulder, "I gotta get back before they think I'm gone too long. Let me know if Xan does anything stupid."

"I will," I let out a half-hearted laugh and I walked over to where Xander was leaning on his black, helmet in hand. I observed the bike, gasping when I realised what it was, "You have a Ducati?"

"I'm surprised you know what that is," he stated with his eyebrows raised and I shook my head, walking around the bike as my jaw hung open.

"Are you fucking kidding? I've always wanted a Ducati," I mumbled, my hand running along the shiny black metal and he chuckled, pushing away from the bike as he spun around to hand me the white helmet. I hesitantly took it, sliding my bag over my shoulders so it lay across my chest instead of on just one shoulder.

"Don't worry. I've had a lot of people ride this with me," he smirked cockily as he picked up the black helmet hanging off of the right handlebar.

"I bet," I mumbled, rolling my eyes as I slid the helmet onto my head. I grabbed the strap under my chin but it was difficult to click into place without being able to see.

"Here," he stepped around the bike and I let my hands fall to my sides as I tilted my chin upwards. He clicked it into place before tightening the strap and I let my head fall back down, the visor still being up as I looked up at him through the gap in the helmet. He tapped the top of my helmet before mumbling, "Cute."

"Just get me home without crashing before you try to flirt with me," I grumbled making him chuckle. He grabbed the black helmet sliding it over his head and clicking the strap in, tightening it quickly. He zipped up the pocket in his pants he had his phone in before sliding his gloves on.

"Out of all Al's friends," he said as he swung his leg over the bike and sat down, "You're already my favourite."

"This is gonna be a long ride," I rolled my eyes as I placed my left foot on the peg, swung my right leg over the bike and sat down on the small seat at the back.

"Oh by the way," he said loudly before he reached in the gap in the helmet to seemingly adjust something before his voice rang in my helmet, "I have comms."

"Oh great. Now I can hear you talking out of your ass the whole ride," I said sarcastically and his laugh rang through my ears. I flicked the visor down and he followed suit.

"You ready?" he asked and I hummed before he kicked the stand up. He turned on the bike, soon after and the engine revved to life, "You gotta hold on unless you wanna fly off the back."

"This is insane," I mumbled, leaning forward as I wrapped my arms around his torso and I heard his laugh ring through the helmet once again. I placed my chin on his left shoulder as he kicked it into first gear and we crept out of the driveway.

As we got onto the road, I instantly felt the cold wind pierce my skin through my clothes as it whipped around us and I tightened my arms around him.

"You good?" he asked through the headset and I hummed quickly, looking ahead as we passed multiple buildings quickly. My heart started beating with the rumble of the engine and a smile crept on my face as I thought of an idea.

"Can I lean back?" I asked hesitantly as I looked at the street lights around us.

"Let me turn left up here then you can. It's a straight road after that," he explained and I hummed, gripping tightly onto his leather jacket against his stomach, "Just move with my body as we turn."

"I know," I stated confidently and he let out another chuckle. After a few seconds, he slowed ever so slightly and we leaned into the turn before he straightened up again.

"You can lean back just don't stand up and don't lean back too far or you'll throw it off balance," he instructed me and my stomach filled with butterflies of excitement. I let my hands unravel from around his waist, still holding onto his sides as I leaned away from his back slightly. The wind hit me even more but it made me feel alive, it made me feel real.

My hair flicked behind me from the bottom of the helmet and I carefully let go of his waist. I looked ahead to see only one car ahead of us and it was far enough away that I could comfortably expand my arms out on either side of me.

"This is so fun!" I said excitedly as I leaned closer to him again, my arms being pushed back by the wind slightly. I heard a sound of amusement travel from him and I giggled to myself.

"You wanna go around this car?" he asked and I looked ahead to see we were approaching the car quickly. I let out a sound of approval, "Hold onto me."

I let my arms wrap back around his torso as he sped up slightly and within an instant, we zipped past the car with ease. I turned my head to look around at the buildings we flew past and the cars passing by us on the other side of the road.

"I don't know where to go from here, babe. You're gonna have to give me directions," he spoke loudly into the mic and I hummed, looking straight ahead again.

The next 10 minutes were spent mumbling different directions to him as my hands practically froze from the cold air and my hair tangled under the helmet. Soon enough, we arrived at my street and he slowed the bike when we were a few houses away from mine.

We pulled up to my house before he switched the engine off and put down the kickstand. He held out a gloved hand to help me get off the bike which I gladly accepted, swinging my legs off of the bike before I unclipped the strap and slid the helmet off.

"That was so fun," I smiled happily, certain that my hair was stuck up in all different directions as he slid open the visor to talk to me, "Allie never told me she had a brother by the way."

"She never told me she had such a pretty friend," he replied smoothly and I furrowed my eyebrows, a slightly amused smile on my lips.

"I'll let that slide for now because that was so fun but never do that again," I shook my head, handing him the helmet and he quickly spun around to attach it to the strap on the pillion seat.

"You have a boyfriend or something?" he asked as he turned to face me and I let my mouth hang open for a moment, unsure of how to answer.

"It's complicated," I told him honestly and I could see the smirk from under his helmet as he shook his head.

He looked ahead to where my house was before saying, "Is that your not-boyfriend?"

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked over where his eyesight was and I saw none other than Matt standing there with his arms folded. He had an unsatisfied expression written across his face as he leaned against his car, staring directly at me.

"I'll take that as my queue to leave," Xander said with slight amusement in his voice before revving the engine of the bike back to life and yelling, "Tell Allie I can pick you up whenever you need, pretty girl."

He flicked the visor of his helmet back down before giving me a salute and suddenly, he sped off down the road. My body ran cold at the sound of the nickname coming from his mouth, hating the way it felt compared to when Matt said it. I looked back over to where Matt was glaring at me and I quickly jogged towards him.

"Matt-"

"I don't wanna hear it, Layla," he shook his head, his words sounding like venom directly to my heart and I let my arms drop beside me.

"It's not what it looks like," I tried to explain as he pushed away from the car and let out a bitter laugh.

"Really? That's what you're going with?" he asked, a look of disbelief on his face as he threw his hands out in front of him, "You ignore me all day, don't answer any of my calls or messages so I decide I'm gonna show up to your house to sort this out and I see you get off the bike of some other deadbeat guy!"

"Deadbeat guy? That's Allie's brother," I furrowed my eyebrows and he raised his with a nod of his head.

"Oh cool. So you're just hitting it off with one of my best friend's brothers now?" he asked, anger seeping off of him and it only made me want to yell at him more but I didn't get the chance to, "I did nothing wrong and now you're off with some other guy doing god knows what. You didn't even try to talk to me."

"He was just dropping me home!" I argued and he shook his head, another bitter laugh emitting from his mouth as he swung the driver's door open.

"Don't come to my game tomorrow. I can't fucking believe you right now," he spat out angrily as he jumped in, slamming the door closed behind him.

I rounded the car as I yelled at the glass separating us, "Matt just listen to me!"

He started the car and within an instant, he drove down the street and I watched the taillights disappear in the distance as my shoulders dropped in devastation.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

tags:

@dsturniolo @chrisstankyleg @lov3bug @pinklittleflower @thatcrazybitch-69 @trinity2058 @alorsxsturn @chrizznmetswife @ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @sturnfix @lilsstvrn @sturniololol @sturniolowhore @jebbie-project-blog @jaxyy219

[ssahotchnerr]

Hey Katie, it's the anon that sent you the "hate" feedback. After reading through everyone's thoughts and opinions, I wanted to apologize! I realize I was being overly harsh and straightforward. Regardless of our differing opinions, I don't want to taint your blog with negativity as it's obvious you work so hard to be positive and kind.

I am actually a writer myself, and i suppose I never really cared for feedback- l've always been okay with just likes and blank reblogs. But I can now understand how everyone has diff ways of coping, how some may need more obvious feedback than others. I shouldn’t force my own preferences on others! I understand the frustration, and I've been educated and I totally support your opinions!

Also, just to clarify. I love the community the hotch girlies have built, and I am not saying we should not all connect and talk due to our common interests. I just think it’s important to be reminded that all our relationships are, indeed, parasocial. BUT I am not saying there is anything wrong with parasocial relationships, because like I’ve said, the community we’ve built is amazingly comfortable and safe, but personally I just believe we should all remember this fact once in a while! I hope this makes sense.

I know I am kind of deserving of being "attacked", but being called a "shithead", “coward”, "pig", “selfish dog”, and generally being sweared at is… well, horrible? I expressed an opinion, perhaps rudely and unfairly, but I am also human. It’s great to see people standing up for you as it shows the strength of everyone coming together, but, wow. I honestly feel scared that everyone is suddenly going to come for me and as a member of the hotch community, I do not feel safe and I do not feel the positivity. (Again, maybe deserved, but still hurts.)

Ofc, Katie, i am not saying this is your fault. You didn’t tell your friends to swear and defend you. I am not blaming you, nor your friends, simply expressing my thoughts! To everyone, I’m really sorry that I brought negativity to Katie’s blog, but pls understand I was simply providing another point of you. Regardless of whether you agree or not, let’s all be civil and not call each other names and be so overly rude. After all, we need to stand together as writers and readers, right? We all love Aaron and Katie and those are the most important parts.

Anyways, sorry for bombarding you with yet another long essay, but I just wanted to own up to my mistakes and express my love and support for your writing! For the record, I really do love how domestic and real your scenarios feel. I see and can feel myself being in the cm world whenever I read your writing! Keep going!

hi anon 🫶🏻 i want to thank you for apologizing - it takes a lot of courage to do so and i respect you greatly for it <3

as you stated, yes everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and you were simply stating yours. i see your perspective and i want to apologize for all the hate you've received as well. i don't condone name calling or belittling at all, that is not something i stand for and my blog is meant for positivity and positivity only. and with being said, i'm tremendously grateful for everyone who came rushing to my defense and the amount of love i've received has been so overwhelming in the best possible way, and it shows how strong our community is 🫶🏻 but now i please ask that all the negativity stops from this point forward - from both sides 🫶🏻 i'm considering all of this to be in the past now, no hard feelings, and i hope y'all do the same <3

thank you for apologizing again!!

[the-travelling-witch]

HOLLY !! i'm here to indulge you in some of your twst selfship headcanons, also bc i just wanna talk abt twst with u 😋

JAMIL :: i swear this man is lucky to have u 🙄🙄🙄 NO BUT srsly.. man acts fed up w u all the time but it's just bc he doesn't know how to express himself :// no matter how long y'all been dating, he still can't wrap his head around the fact that you are his and his only (take that as u will, wether u into that kinda stuff or not HAHA)

RIDDLE :: i am begging u to loosen this guy up a lil !! obv being the goody lil two shoes that he is won't change fundamentally, but i think he's rlly appreciative to have you help him catch up on "lost time" or the latest trends n the such... like just doing fun things w u for the sake of it, and that ur by his side through all of it !!

ACE :: you deserve better i'm sorry

YOU!! YES YOU ESTHER!!

i was laughing so hard when i read this the first time, the slander—

also, talk about twst with me!! it takes up too much of my brain space anyway >///<

jamil is so lucky to have me fr, but i think i might be just as lucky to have him; he might be an idiot when it comes to expressing affection verbally but his actions show it pretty clearly; i‘m super clumsy which is the bane of his existence and he’s always rolling his eyes at me but don’t think i won’t notice how he’s gently steering me away from the edge of the table the next time, just so i won’t bump my hip into it again

it’s also a little different when it’s just the two of us and he doesn’t have to keep up appearances for his duties, so he might be a little softer in private; although he still wants to go hide every time he gives or receives a genuine compliment <3 [also, hints of possessiveness from a fictional man? yes please!!]

i‘m certainly trying my best; i might not be too much of a troublemaker but i‘m also not so much of a stickler for rules as riddle; while it’s probably impossible to make him straight up break a rule, i do think i can make him a bit more lenient with it, especially when it comes to using his unique magic there are certainly less heads rolling in heartslabyul dorm

i‘d love to just sit down with him, a cup of tea and some sweet treats on hand and either catch him up on the latest magicam trends, talk about our days or both reading a book (he probably wasn’t allowed to read anything that wasn’t meant for studying, so i really want him to get in touch with stories that are only meant to be enjoyed); i‘m slowly but steadily getting him attuned to affection, he used to turn as red as his hair when i just linked out hands together but he’s getting there~

and while i make sure to have him take a break and relax regularly, riddle diligently but gently assures that i stay on track with everything that needs to be done, be it studies or taking care of myself <3

i tell him that every day… but ace can be so cute if he’s not being a menace, i can’t help but laugh at whatever chaotic antics he got up to this time <3

[send me self-ship headcanons]

[georgeinamerc]

Libra Sun

Scorpio Moon

Capricorn Rising

Hi my love!! I want to preface this by saying that this is based on stuff that i have read and have noticed! If these don't apply to you im sorry😭 thank you so so much for sending this in, it's so fun for me <3

okayyy... I might have said i will judge, but come on you're a libraa! i love air signs<33 First of all, i have say you guys have such an alluring aura and give off such good vibes! Like libras are famous for their charm (and for being very effortlessly and casually flirty!). I would say u also love compliments when u receive them, it's sth that definitely stays w you! and (from personal experience as well) you are a sign that gives so much in relationships, whether that's romantic, platonic, it doesn't matter. Also it's so impressive to me how well u manage to understand others when they share problems, concerns etc- you really put yourself in the other person's shoes and that's why you're also someone people usually gravitate towards when they want someone to listen! As i mentioned, one of my bsfs is a libra and she's studying psychology! Even in arguments they'll be the person who will see and understand both sides but still firmly stand their ground when it comes to their opinions! I believe that a lot of times libras tend to need a bit of extra work regarding self confidence bc i feel like you downplay your achievements, which is so unfair btw!! I would say give yourself more credit for all your hard work<33 people around you appreciate you sm for who you are -and maybe let them give back to you more for all you give as well!

Now rising has to do a lot w how you appear to others! omggg i met this girl last week who's a cap rising, and i have to say y'all are so cool to the point where i don't even know how to come up and talk to you! Maybe a bit quiet at first, but then you feel comfortable around someone and it's like you've known each other for yearss! Capricorns, being an earth sign, tend to be very goal oriented, hard working and smarttt but also dare i say overthinkers as well? I just know you guys know lots of things (maybe about random topics but the moment they come up you sound the smartest in the room) and i could listen to u talk for hours! The most beautiful eyes and smile too i have to say<3 i will have to repeat tho! give yourself more credit love💗💗

FELLOW SCORPIO MOONNNN i love sharing this placement w people bc we bond over trauma basically! i want to give u a hug through the screen hahah this is so random and completely based on my opinion but i feel like you look amazing in black! scorpio moons pull it off the best i swear… also- (im sorry) you tend to bottle your emotions or invalidate them/ feel like you're being too much in situations, so u may decide u shouldn't voice how u feel! like even when you're going through very hard times you will do your best to hide it (cap rising works harddd) and then let it all out once you're alone! i see that a lot in myself too tbh, but it's important to express yourself always! for example, you don't have to have an "objectively good reason to be mad" to just be mad if that makes sense! if someone tells you u "shouldn't be feeling like this" they're just shit people honestly!! also you may be struggling w vulnerability in relationships (platonic/romantic). my advice (which i need to hear myself haha) is to let yourself be a bit more vulnerable one step at a time! and obv do it only when you're w someone that makes you feel heard! also maybee try and make your standards around things more realistic? it's hard af i knoww but you'll save yourself the disappointment of some things! also rejection scares us… like a lot….

[mysticgoblinwriter]

Driving In A Cold Sweat; There Is No One On This Highway

Warnings- Murder, infidelity, swearing, food imagery, shitty parents, i made Steve the villain who’s in the HOA and a politician, adult content, dark!reader, cheating, a bit of flirting, mental health joke (mental health is NOT a joke, y’all), religion symbolism, dark!steve, peggy x bucky,

Word Count- 1.9k

kudos to @blackberrybucky for being my soundboard, and @fandomsandxfiles for being my beta reader. Love y'all

a/n- This is inspired by Hypothermic by Goodnight Texas.  Its really dark, and I surprised myself writing this but I like it. I also changed the landscape to desert. Leave comments if you want! As many as you like, I fangirl over my work too. All writers should, its selfcare.

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING FLUFFY AND SOFT TURN AWAY NOW; MINORS DNI

DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE. A REBLOG IS APPRECIATED. A REPOST IS NOT.

Bucky looks you up and down, taking you in like you are the gods own ambrosia.  “So, doll.  What brings you to this shit hole?”

You laugh to yourself.  “I murdered somebody.”- was the sentence that also inspired this but its not in the actual story.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The radio gave out miles ago.  It was emitting nothing except for crackling and static.  Every now and then it would cut back to a sermon, funnily enough it’d been the same one that was on when you started your trip.  Sunset was a little ways off.  If you looked hard enough you could see coyotes just off the asphalt.  Alive, yes.  But just how long had their souls been gone?  Someone was screaming.

A man.  You’d heard that scream before.  Seared into you memory like that steak you had for your 15th birthday. It was right next to you.  Oozing blood and raw-red.  You could hear the clink of the knife as it scraped against the plate.  Shaking your head to clear it, you notice an exit with a gas station.  “Now’s a time as good as any to stop.”  Gravel crunches as you slide up next to the pump. The neon beer lights from the bar across the road are calling.  But you can’t answer. The gas handle is slick and grimy, you’ve felt something like that before, but you can’t remember what.  A fuzzy noise in the back of your ears gets your attention.  Another truck has pulled in.  Right in the spot next to yours, never mind the dozen others that are free.  A bulky man steps down, his face hidden by a rangers hat.

You could tell he worked out though.  And had hair in need of a washing.  Clunk.  The tank was full.  You thought it best to leave before anyone could place you, but your stomach needed something other than greasy two-bit fast food.  You glance around, looking for any sign that promised a hot meal.

“Looking for something, doll?” You let out a small gasp.  He was staring straight at you now.

“Does this shithole have a place to eat?  I might have to start eating the cactus.”

He lets out a soft laugh, “Yeah, there’s a diner about half mile down the road.”

His face brightens like he just thought of something.  “You wanna meet me there?  I’ll buy dinner?”  You weigh the options.  You can’t have anybody recognize you; but your cash is getting low and however you can stretch it, you must.  You nod once.  “Sure.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The diner is every trope you’d seen in the movies your pops watched when he got off work.  Flies buzzing, neon sign flickering, checkered tile.  It even had the shiny red leather booths.  What a dream.  “Getcha a seat anywhere, honey.  I’ll be right over,” came a perky voice from the back.  Presumably a waitress. You choose the booth near the back exit.  Its always good to have a backup plan.

The man said he needed to get something at the mini-mart, that you could go ahead and he’d catch up.  Somebody screamed right next to you, causing you to jump out of your seat.  You whip your head around.  No one was even in the dining area.  It sounded so real.  Like you could reach out and grasp the shattering inky blackness.  You take a couple of deep breaths.  Try to remember your happy place.  Tahiti, its a magical place.  Or so you’ve been told  You just picked it from a magazine that was open on the coffee table the night your mother set fire to the curtains in the living room.  The flames had licked up the page, burning the island resort into ash.  Boots thudded as they made way to where you were.  He slides in across from you.

“Um, the waitress’ll be right out,” you said softly.  He barely heard it over the rickety air conditioning.  He nods to show he heard.  He’s sitting close.  Closer than you’d thought another human would ever sit next to you again.  His hands are rough and calloused.  The sleeve cuffs of his hoodie are frayed; as if someone clawed at them.  Eyes traveling up his body, you take in more details.  The hoodie isn’t faded, its brand new.  He wears a bracelet of leather on his right hand, with a charm you can’t quite see.  His necklace is corded hemp, plain and understated.

A light stubble that’s maybe three days old covers his jaw.  His eyes... are piercing right through you. You take in a quick breath, not being able to look away.  You’d never seen that shade of blue before.   He’d been watching you watching him.  Quirking an eyebrow, ”See anything ya like, doll?” You start to sputter an answer but the waitress comes over.  “Sorry about the wait.  Here’s your-”  Blue eyes interrupts her, “We don’t need those.  I’ll have the special and she’ll have the ‘Its Impossible To Go Away Hungry’ plate”  “Okay, then.  I’ll get that right out to ya folks.”

You glare at him, he mirrors it with dicky nonchalance. “Why did you order for me?”  He leans forward, tilts his head the right the tiniest fraction.  “You’re starved.  I really don’t give a damn what kept you from eating but I ain’t gonna let you go without giving you a meal.  The steak plate is the biggest meal they have.  You can take a to go box, that is if you don’t eat the whole thing.”

“Oh.”  You cast out a huff, “Well, thank you.”  He flashes a killer smile. Pearly white teeth in a straight line.  Not an imperfection to be found anywhere.  A silence falls between the two of you.  You can’t decide whether its comfortable of not.

“My name is Bucky.  I thought you wouldn’t like eating with a stranger.  I like to doodle in the margins of my books sometimes.”  “Please tell me not library books.”  He scoffs as if you suggested the impossible, “Never.  Do you think I’m crazy?”

“Jury’s out on that, Bucky.”  He looks at you more intently now.  “Really?  Same could be said about you.  When I first spoke to you it was like a deer in headlights.  Ya running from something, sugar?”  He’d said it jokingly but you didn’t laugh.

“No.  Nothing like that.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shirley came back with your plates, and two root beers.  She left the check at the end of the table and Bucky swooped it up.  The meal passed by in the comfortable sounds of silverware clinking and ice clacking in the cups.  You both ate in record time.

You were careful to save enough for a second meal. That went into the to go container.  Now both cups were drained and plates scraped clean.  You start to slide out of your seat, mumbling a thanks but Bucky stops you.  “Wait, won’t you sit here a while longer?  I’d be kinda sad sitting here alone.”  After a moments hesitation, you resume your position.  “What do you wanna talk about?  It can’t be the weather.  Its been dry as bones for weeks.”   He ponders for a moment, “You.”  He shifts a little, resting one ankle on the opposite knee.

“I want to know what you’re running from, and see if I can offer...a distraction.”  That shocks you.  “Life?  Aren’t we all running away in some form or another?  I just happened to take the mobile route.”  You shrug, “What do you want me to say?  It was all shitty so I left it behind.  And as for the distraction part, I got a whore last night, so don’t bother.”  He is silent.  Just sits there and gazes at you.  You cock your head, getting impatient.  “Am I allowed to leave now?  Or do you want to talk about our feelings?”

“I slept with my best friends wife.”

“I-I’m sorry you what??”

“I slept with my best friends wife.  He owns half the town, what with him being mayor and all.  I couldn’t take it anymore, he’s always been the golden boy.  Always been the beacon of light.  I just wanted a slice of what he had.”  He looks up, his eyes are dead.  “She was willing, and I just... took her.  There on his desk.  He’d been out for lunch with some bigwig, and I made her cum twice on my cock.”  He chuckles darkly.  “That’d been the first time.  All the other times don’t matter, he doesn’t know about those.  But he does know about the time in the craft shed.  Peggy did pottery.

Had a nice little workshop, it was connected to the mansion they had.  I wanted to bring her pleasure in the place where she gets frustrated often, so she’d have something else to think about.  Steve caught us on the floor.  A big bunch of daffodils in hand.  Stupid, those weren’t even her favorites.”  He was gone now, lost in memories, not even knowing he was talking.  “Said he had come by to take her to lunch.  That was always like Steve.  Expected her to clear her schedule at the drop of a hat but never doing the same for anybody. He didn’t even get mad.  He just walked away, muttering something about his office.

Peggy said she could talk some sense into him.  The next day I found her in the garbage when I took out my trash.”  Your sharp inhale and big eyes do nothing to catch his attention.  “Steve comes strolling out of nowhere, said that she was a threat to his image.  Said that I need to leave or face the same.  I asked why he left me alive and he said ‘So you can remember the pain until you lay down in the ground and the mice and carrion drag your body up from its silk cocoon to feast.”

But that’s not all.”  He said the last bit so quietly, it was as if he said nothing.

“What?”  He’s crying now, tears are forming rivers in his eyes.  “She knew.  She knew  he was going to be there and that’s how she wanted to go out.”  Your puzzled expression makes him laugh.  “Don’t know many politicians, do you?  Good.  Keep it that way.  That day when the mail came I got a letter.  From her.  It said how she wanted to divorce Steve ever since he became the HOA president.  But she couldn’t.  He had threatened her once, just once and what he said was so blisteringly awful.  And he did it.  He is a man of his word, after all.  He kept his damn word.”

“So...she used you as an out?”  He winces.  You hadn’t meant to sound like that.

“Yes.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Out in the diners parking lot you say goodbye to James.  Wait.  No, no.  His name is Bucky.  He’s got a green  Chevy and blue eyes.  Or was it red?  It doesn’t matter anyway.  You back out and head for the next state, ignoring the blood leaking from the tarp in your trunk.  The screams have stopped.  And the moon is bright.

[ficsxreaderr]

Music to my eyes [7]

OKAY I AM BACK, NOT THAT ANYONE MISSED ME BUT HERE IT IS. LOVE Y'ALL

Pairing: Single dad!Bucky Barnes x reader. (Modern day AU)

Summary: As a simple worker at a record store, there’s so much  you want to do in life yet, which doesn’t involve a serious relationship  and much less a relationship with a guy who’s a father. Once you meet  Bucky Barnes you’re not sure you can live up to that anymore.

Requests are open. Tagging for a permanent list and this fic are open.

Reblogging and feedback are welcome and appreciated!

Series masterlist | Masterlist

“Sam, you better come here and help me get ready.” You tell him on the phone as you prepare your first cup of coffee of the day, on Steve’s wedding day.

“But I’m one of the groomsmen, we got to be there early because you’re my plus one.”

“I’m a punctual woman, I thought you knew that. Come on, you got to help me with my hair and tell me how the dress looks.”

“Alright, but I’ll be rushing you, you have to know that.”

“I’d be surprised if you didn’t.”

Right after you’ve taken a shower, you hear a knock on your door, knowing it’s Sam. Putting on your bathrobe and a towel to dry your hair, you walk out of the bathroom and get the door.

“Please tell me you’re not going dressed like that.” Sam says the second you open. You roll your eyes at him and step aside to let him in.

“Can I get you anything? Did you have lunch already?” You ask as you walk into the kitchen and pour each of you a glass of lemonade.

“Yeah, I ate something on my way here, figured you wouldn’t want to eat while doing your makeup.” He says, stepping into the kitchen after he’s put his tux on the hanger.

“Good choice.” You nod as both of you take a sip of lemonade. Both of you make your way to your room, where you’ve set everything you need to get ready.

“Wow, women really are complicated, huh?” He says as he stops to look around. “Where do you even start?”

“I’ll start with my makeup and you start with my hair.” You shrug as you sit on your stool and take off the towel from your head. He walks in and chuckles, and he takes the hair dryer to plug it in.

“Y/N, are we going to talk about…well, you know what.” He asks as you start ordering your things and decide not to look at him, knowing you’re still trying to avoid the subject.

“I don’t know, Sam, I…I feel like an idiot. Dry my hair and I’ll think about it meanwhile.” He shakes his head and does as you say.

Once your hair is dry and you’ve started with your makeup, he waits for the hair straightener to heat as he sits on the edge on the bed.

“Can we talk about it now?” He says, more amused that serious.

“Sam!” You scream, turning around in your stool. “What is there to talk about? I…messed up.” You go back to your makeup and he stands behind you, grabbing the straightener to see if it’s heated. “What has he said? No, wait, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

“He misses you, he wishes he’d never try to kiss you if he’d known it just drive you away.” He says as he starts straightening your hair.

“But that’s not why I left, Sam, not exactly. I wanted to walk away even before that…”

“But it was really bad timing, you know, I’m sorry to say it…”

“No, you’re right, I looked like a jerk, but…I didn’t want to hurt him. Just wanted to do what was right…for everyone.”

“And what exactly is that? You’re not happy, he’s not happy, and Sarah certainly isn’t…”

“Yeah, I know that, too…I messed up, I told you. He’s never talking to me again and I can’t blame him.”

/

Sam has kindly let you use his hotel room so you can change and add the finishing touches to your makeup. At the sight of the amazing hotel Peggy and Steve have booked, you wonder how on Earth they could ever afford it, you could never. Only Sam’s room is huge, it makes you think what the bridal suite must be like. You settle your bag on the bed and your makeup on the marquee, welcoming the soft rug beneath your bare feet. Hanging the dress on a hanger by the door, you unzip its cover bag and stare at it for a moment, thinking it was an amazing choice for this night. It doesn’t matter how awful you feel for what you did, you’re still intending to fix it, but it scares you that he might not even want to hear you or that if he does, that he turns you down. And it wouldn’t even surprise you.

After you’ve made the finishing touches to your makeup, you finally put your dress on, sliding it carefully up your body. Staring at your reflection, you love how the dress hugs every curve of your body, how the thin straps leave your chest uncovered and with a gentle turn, you can see how the half of your back is uncovered, just like you wanted it to. The rosewood satin suits you just perfectly but there’s just one problem, you can’t zip this dress on your own, and you curse Sam for leaving you at the moment. You hear the door to the contiguous room open and you’re glad Sam’s finally back.

Without turning around, you speak, “Sam, finally! Would you mind—” You’re interrupted as you see Sam’s not the one standing across the room, and you clench the back of your dress in nervousness. Your heart stops beating for a moment and you let out a breath before you pass out. “Bucky, hi, I’m sorry, I—”

“Hi, Y/N, I thought Sam was here.” He clenches his hand around the doorknob, hesitant to say anything else. Bucky freezes at the sight of you for two main reasons: one, he misses you, he misses you like crazy and he didn’t know he wanted you that much in his life until the day you stopped calling and visiting; and, two, even with the zipper undone, the dress you picked for tonight is definitely Bucky’s greatest weakness. He’s not sure if you look more beautiful because he hasn’t seen you in so long or because you really know how to dress for a wedding, but he is certain that he’s never been more in love with you than right now.

“He…let me use his room to get ready.” You clear your throat. A moment goes by in complete silence, it feels like an eternity, until he decides to speak.

“I-I can help you…with your dress.” He finally lets go of the doorknob and you notice him fidgeting his fingers. Your mouth goes dry and you need to swallow to gain some composure.

“Thanks, that’d be great.” You nod and wait as he steps inside the room and slowly walks towards you. All the tension of this moment let you forget how handsome he looks in that tux, how his perfectly combed hair and not-so-elegant-but-still-attractive stubble adorn his features and how lucky whoever’s walking with him down the aisle is. Once he’s inches away from you, you turn around so he can zip up your dress. Looking down at your feet, you’re afraid to look in the mirror and meet his eyes there. He is distracted, for a moment, by your intoxicating scent and how soft and glowing your skin looks as the afternoon sunlight that slips through the drapes hits it. You let go off the fabric, and he slowly zips it, careful not to pinch your skin or ruin your dress for that matter. Turning around, you feel a bit dizzy, not sure why, but you find Bucky’s eyes staring at you, a few inches apart now, and you can’t get your brain to articulate even one word.

“How have you been?” You ask after what seemed like hours and he replies almost instantly,

“I’m okay…I mean, I’ve been great, spending a lot of time with Sarah and…everyone else.” He nods, and he really sounds like he’s been doing alright, like he hasn’t missed you like you’ve missed him. Maybe he is better off without you. “You look…amazing.” His weak heart betrays him, and he blurts it out. “H-how have you been?”

“Thanks.” You offer a small smile. “I guess I’ve been okay,” You shrug, unable to hide how you’ve not been okay. “I was really excited about this wedding, Peggy and Steve are-”

“Made for each other.” He interrupts you and you swear there’s a trace of a smile on his face.

“Exactly.” You nod and sigh before saying what’s been killing you inside, even if it will hurt if it doesn’t go as you want it to. “Bucky, I need to talk to you.”

“Of course.” He nods. “I…I think I need to say some things too.”

“I know and…” You sit on the bed and he quickly follows so you’re facing each other. “I’m really sorry for what I did, I didn’t want you to think that I walked away because you…tried to kiss me. It’s not like that.”

“Then what happened, Y/N? ‘Cause I really feel like I messed everything up and I didn’t want things to happen like that, it was all good with us.”

“Since I met you, I knew there was something about you…and when I found out you had a kid-”

“Of course, I knew it…” He stands up, running a hand through his hair, but you’re quick to grab his wrist and make him stop.

“Bucky, no, I know what you’re thinking, just let me finish.” He sits down again, and now it really hurts to see the look on his face, how saddened he seems after what you said; you never wanted to be the cause of that. “Bucky, there’s…a lot I want to do in my life, in fact, there’s barely anything I’ve actually done and…I’ve always wanted to make room for someone that came into my life so we could share everything together. But I got scared and that’s the only word I can find because I am, in fact, a coward. I’ve never thought of having a family, it’s never been in my plans or my dreams, but when I started having feelings for you I…all I wanted was to be with you and with Sarah, no matter what. But it scares me that I can’t keep up with the life you have…because it’s still not…the life I want. And I walked away because…I couldn’t control what I felt anymore, and I didn’t want you to get hurt if I stayed longer…and I also didn’t want to hurt myself.” You both stare for a moment at each other, and his expression changes, he relaxes and his eyes shine a tiny bit…but you know it’s there, the slight hope that he might not hate you and that he will forgive you for treating him so poorly.

“It was so hard to see you didn’t come back or called…or texted. I figured I messed everything up and I’d just lost you. The last thing I wanted was to look for you because I thought I could only make it worse-”

“Before you continue…let me just say that you have nothing to be sorry about, I didn’t expect anything and not because I didn’t expect it from you, it’s just that I ruined it and it was obvious that no one would want to look for me after that.”

“I just want you back in my life, Y/N, I’ve missed you and even if nothing happens between us…I miss my friend, too. And the reason I combed my hair like this is because I need a haircut, and no one understands my hair like you do.” He says as he runs a hand through his hair, chuckling. It makes you laugh, and oh, how you missed this feeling of him making dumb jokes and you hitting his arm ridiculously hard.

“So, you’re only looking for a haircut? ‘Cause I’m going to start charging you if you don’t want to be my friend.” You cross your arms and bite your lip as you amuse yourself looking at the scared look he puts on.

“No! That’s not it! I…miss everything.” He blushes as you chuckle, the one thing you could watch forever: his blushed, stubble-covered cheeks. “Sarah misses you, too, a lot.” Your heart melts when you hear those words, because as much as you were never a ‘kids’ person’, Sarah is certainly the exception, but what could you expect? She was raised by a guy like him.

“Aw, Buck.” You shake your head with a small smile. “I miss both of you, too.” He takes a deep breath and smiles broadly, making you do it too, because for so long you hadn’t seen that and it’s such a weight off your shoulders to finally talk things through.

“So…will you dance with me tonight? I was really looking forward to this, you know.” His almost apologetic frown makes you smile broadly and before you know it, you’ve taken his hand in yours and you notice how he flinches.

“I’m sure we can dance at least one song…unless your date isn’t so fond of the idea.” You suggest, hoping deep down he didn’t bring one, because you didn’t even think of bringing one yourself.

“I didn’t bring a date.” He quickly shrugs and it makes you let out a breath. “Did you?”

“If you consider Sam a date, then I did.” You reply as you chuckle, both of you knowing what a big joke that is, so you make him laugh.

“I’m going to have to borrow you from him, then.” He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and both of you smile at each other. “Thanks for talking to me.”

“Thanks for…listening, I know I probably didn’t deserve it but…”

“No, don’t say that, I know you really are sorry.”

“I am.” You nod in reassurance.

/

After the lovely ceremony, which you didn’t expect less from, you’ve moved to the reception where apparently Peggy picked up the most beautiful decorations and colors, and you feel like you’re inside of a magazine…a magazine you’re probably never going to buy but you’ve surely seen enough of. Sipping your drink, watching all the couples dancing and smiling at each other makes you smile, too. You glance at Sam as he’s most likely hitting on a bridesmaid, which actually doesn’t surprise you, and she seems to be having a great time, too. You shake your head as Sam glances back at you and he nods in your direction, making you frown at him. As you take another sip of your drink, you’re startled by a low voice talking behind you,

“I knew you didn’t bring a date but I didn’t think you’d be sitting down for this.” You stand up and turn to see Bucky with his hands in his pockets and with a billion-dollar smile.

“Heels are a pain, you know? I stand for five minutes and I have to sit down for fifteen.” You put your hands on your hips.

“And are those 15 over?”

“You know what, they are.” You nod with a smile.

“Good, five minutes is enough for a song.” He shrugs

“Of course I could dance barefoot, I’m a much better dancer without these things.”

“And that would give us more than five minutes.” He says as he takes a few steps until he’s closer to you, letting you drown in the blue of his eyes. Your gaze meets his and he gives you that lopsided grin you’ve fallen in love with all this time.

“A lot more, I think.” You almost murmur and he offers his hand with his palm up so you can take it. You smile at him and tangle your fingers with his.

“Aren’t you gonna take off your heels?”

“You’re too tall for me, I’ll take them off when my feet hurt.” You shrug and both of you walk to the dance floor. He wanted to fight the urge to put his arm around you, but he couldn’t, you were too close to him and he had waited for this for too long now, he wasn’t going to wait any longer. The warm feeling of his hand through your dress made you stiffen, and you looked up at him in reassurance. He smiled at you and squeezed your waist gently before leading you to start dancing. His timing was so accurate that the song is slow but fun to dance to, but then again, any song would be fun with him around. The way he easily sways with you at a rhythm that feels choreographed is unbelievable, it’s like both of you were so made for each other that even dancing seems like the easiest thing with him.

“You know your friends are gonna give you a lot of crap later, right?”

“I’d be an idiot if I didn’t know that, but I’m willing to pay that price. I’m hoping I don’t have to see them later, though.” He quirks up an eyebrow, suggestively and you smile at that, knowing exactly what he meant.

“You’re quite optimistic.” You nod and make him chuckle.

“I like to believe that.”

“I can’t believe I missed so much time with you for being so stubborn.” You shake your head and he frowns.

It’s like you just agreed to say nothing anymore and your gazes meet, as easily as they always did. This kind of heart rush you’ve only felt it a few times in your life and one of them was the day he tried to kiss you and you fucking ran away. It’s the most beautiful feeling, especially with him, because you know what’s coming and you can’t but enjoy every second you stare at each other and your faces draw closer to each other’s until your noses brush against each other’s.

“I’m really going to kiss you, you know.” He murmurs against your lips.

“I know.” You reply almost silently, until he finally presses his lips against yours and you kiss him back with an easiness that you could only feel with him. He brings your body closer to his, if that’s possible, and you slowly put your arms around his neck, clinging to him as if it could make this moment last longer. Many people are watching, but that’s not a concern for you right now because after all this time and after all those nights wondering if Bucky would ever come back to you, this is all you’ve wanted and there’s nothing that can ruin this. His hands clench around your waist and it really feels that you’re his and he’s yours finally, the kiss is long, but not long enough for your liking and he slowly pulls away, unable to erase his smile.

“Well, that’s new.” You murmur with a wide grin, making him chuckle and look down, trying to hide his blushed cheeks. “If I got paid for every time you blushed…” You add, making him look up again and stare as he bites his lip.

“It’s your fault, I can’t control that!” He says almost laughing, and you laugh too as both of you have forgotten you were dancing in the first place. Looking around you, you take Bucky’s hand in yours and lead him out of the dance floor and out of the room, hoping that not many people saw you, but then again, it doesn’t really matter to you. You get to an empty, wide hallway and find a wide couch where you sit, taking off your heels.

“Y/n, what are you doing?” He puts his fists on his hips, chuckling.

“Come here,” You tap the cushion. He chuckles again and joins you, propping his elbow on the back rest, staring at you.

“I just didn’t want everybody looking at us, we’ve been waiting for a moment like this and I don’t want it to be ruined.” You add, putting your legs beneath you, covering them with your long dress. He tilts his head to one side, smiling at you. His blue eyes glow the more you stare at them, and they speak more than anything you could possibly say right now. “You’ve always looked at me like that and I’ve known exactly what you meant.” You reach up to caress his stubble, tracing your thumb along his cheekbone.

“I can’t believe I finally have you, that’s all.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Come here.” He says, grabbing your waist and pulling you closer to him, until your leg is propped on his lap and he caresses your thigh slow and rhythmically.

“If I fall asleep here, you’re going to have to carry me to Sam’s room, you know.” You say as you rest your head on the backrest and look up at him. He laughs and leans over to kiss you, smiling against your lips.

“I know that, sweetheart.” He nods.

/

Your phone buzzed and buzzed over the bedside table and as sleepy as you were, you couldn’t ignore it. Reaching for your phone, you barely check your notifications, seeing you have countless texts from Sam and a couple missed calls. You realize you’re on 20%, so you decide you’ll text him back whenever you get out of bed and get a charger. Sighing deeply, you shift on your place and stare at the ceiling for a while, thinking of everything that happened the night before and how it all still feels like a dream, like something you’d only made up in your head. With a short glance, you realize he’s still sleeping, rather soundly, and you slowly slide out of the bed, trying not to move him or make any noise. You find your dress lying on the floor, but a dress definitely isn’t a comfortable morning wear, so you put on Bucky’s t-shirt from last night and smile as the smell of his cologne hits your nostrils, still lingering from last night. After having had quite a few drinks and very hasty night, you feel the need to wash your face and clean up a little bit; your makeup still lingers from last night, and it’s not as horrid as you thought it’d be, but you try to remove some stains and whatever makes you look like you woke up with a hangover. You find a little brand-new mouthwash by the sink and use a bit of it, to freshen up. After brushing your hair, you feel you’re now rather decent, and go back to bed. Climbing slowly up the bed, you notice he’s still sleeping and looking so relaxed and at peace. As you cover your body with the duvet, he shifts in his place, sighing deeply as he rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. You watch him as he turns to see you and gives you the biggest smile one can get at this time of the day.

“Good morning.” You smile at him, running your fingers through his hair as he closes his eyes for a second, sighing softly at your touch.

“Morning, doll.” He replies with a deeper voice than you know. “Sleep well?” He asks, with a light frown, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Of course I did, you?” He hums, and props his elbow on the pillow, and you mimic his position.

“I’ll be right back.” He says, getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom wearing only his briefs, letting you admire for a moment his sculpted chest and back, making you curse yourself for waiting so long for this to happen. You assume he went to wash up, too, and as he comes back into the room he stops and frowns. “Are you wearing my t-shirt?” He puts his fists on his hips, making his arms and chest look even better from where you’re sitting.

“Of course I am, I had to get up earlier and it was the first thing I found.” You shrug, and he shakes his head, climbing back on the bed. Both of you sit on the bed, crossing your legs and you stretch out your arms, feeling your back relax right after.

“I must have like five hundred texts from Sam.” He runs a hand through his still messy hair.

“I’m sure I have twice that.” You roll your eyes, thinking about every single joke Sam must be making up right now, saving them for the moment he sees you and Bucky together. Wait…are you two together? What did last night mean? Did it mean anything at all? Your head’s filled with all the questions you’ve wanted to avoid all this time and clearly your face can’t hide your concern.

“Y/N, are you okay?” You shake your head and smile at him, trying to hide whatever’s bugging you.

“Yeah, I was just, um…thinking about…” He stares at you, his eyes glistening in the way they always do when he’s around you. He always looks you in the eye when he listens to you, he’s a great listener. You gaze at him for a moment and remember every single moment he’s made you feel as if you’re floating, of every time you thought of him when buying a CD or a record and how he would like it when he borrowed it from you, when you watched him make Sarah her favorite waffles and every Saturday breakfast you shared. There was nothing you could do, you were in love with Bucky Barnes.

“About…what an idiot I am for taking so long to…do this.” He leans over and kisses you, a deep but short kiss, resting his hand on your neck.

“Are you sure? Is that it?” He frowns, caressing your cheek with his thumb. You nod give him a small smile.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” You sigh and gaze at him for yet another moment, relishing in the peace of this moment. “I had a lot of fun last night…but…” You take a second to think and finally realize that there’s something you need to say now before it’s too late. “I’m scared of hurting you and Sarah, of getting involved in that small family you have there and messing it all up.”

“Y/N, doll, you’re not gonna hurt us, I want to be with you.” He takes your hands in his. “I can take care of myself…and Sarah. And all I know is that being with you is what I’ve wanted since you recommended all those CD’s and records at the store that day.” You narrow your eyes at him, unable to hide the smile he just caused on you.

“Really? Ever since that day?”

“Well, if you didn’t like me that day, then I didn’t like you either.” He holds up his hands. He makes you chuckle; he always makes you laugh. You grab a pillow and hit his head gently, making him fake an Ouch! and hit you back, messing up your hair.

“What are you, eight?” You laugh at him, fixing your hair and faking a judgmental face.

“I have a daughter younger than that, you know.” You chuckle, look down at your knotted fingers, thinking about how someone could ever walk away from him and Sarah and the wonderful home they make, then again, you don’t even know what happened with her, you don’t know who she is, how they met and how he ended up getting Sarah. You barely know anything about them and all the uncertainty has caused you the fear you feel right now.

“Y/N, honey, I still feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.” He says, making you look up at him. “Is it about Sarah?”

“No!” You quickly reply. “No, it’s not Sarah, I…I love that kid.” You assure him. “It’s just the fact that you’re a single dad and…that I still don’t know anything about…”

“Her mother?” He frowns, and it strikes you that maybe this wasn’t the moment to bring that up. You frown, too, nodding but he remains silent for a moment.

“You don’t have to tell me, it’s just that what’s held me back is that I don’t know enough about you and your story and you don’t know a lot of things about me either…”

“I want to tell you, Y/N.” he cuts you off. “I’ve been meaning to tell you but the moments weren’t right or I was afraid of doing it.”

“Which is exactly why you don’t have to tell me, Buck. I’m just always full of fears, even about things that feel…more than right.” You pause. “I don’t want to spoil this moment and last night, so let’s not talk about this for a moment.”

“I just…don’t want you to ever feel afraid of anything when you’re with me.” More than being crystal blue, Bucky’s eyes had a truth and emotion in them that you had never seen before. You’ve trusted people, you’ve believed in somebody’s good heart but not like this.

|Tagging some people I haven't talked to in a while but that I really appreciate (feel free to ask me to remove your tag)

@stuckonjbbarnes @mushyjellybeans @honeyvbarnes @babblingbonky @mrwinterr @valkyriesryde @mypassionsarenysins @livyourextralife

Permanent taglist: @imma-new-soul

Fic taglist: @eliza5616 @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @93generation

@shawnie--jo @cheeseedreams47

[oabf45]

Ok so I finally watched the new 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star episodes and here is what I think overall for the seasons so far, the characters, and part 2 of the seasons. Badically my opinions no one asked for 😁

9-1-1

- Let's rip the band aid off. I'm sorry but we're never getting Buddie. I'm a huge Buddie shipper myself, but I honestly have reached the point where I just don't see it happening. For one their friendship alone just isn't what it's been the past two seasons. Idk if its just me feeling this, but their scenes together, though sweet, just haven't been what they've been in the past. I mean this last episode is the most connection I feel from their characters than i have this whole season. I'm still not over Eddie's lack of reaction to Buck being trapped when Buck was ready to dig through the earth to find Eddie. Though I think there is still a chance Buck could be BI I just no longer have hope that Buddie is going to be a thing. I mean, they've at least hinted that Buck could ride that way, but Eddie has given zero signs of being into men at all. But honestly if they at least explore a BI Buck then I'll be happy, even if he's not with Eddie. It also doesn't help that there's a HUGE possibility that Oliver and Ryan don't get along anymore. They stopped following each other on social media and they post pictures with all the rest of the cast except each other. Its just looking extremely unlikely.

- I don't think Ana deserves as much hate as she's getting. I wasn't so fond of the Eddie/Ana pairing either, mostly because I was so into Buddie. But Ana does seem genuinely a great person and its a plus that Christopher loves her. I just wish that if they were going to persue this they would have built it up more and showed us more of her character. I mean we know close to nothing about her which is what makes it hard to like her or like her with Eddie.

- I'm glad that even if Buck doesn't end up with Eddie he still is obviously going to be someone very close to Christopher. Their relationship is so absolutely darling and even if its not Buddie, Buck is very obviously like a second dad.

- At first I was not at all happy with them bringing back Taylor. I found her character so freaking annoying in the past. But honestly her character seems to have mellowed out and I actually liked her. But I am PRAYING that if she sticks around its just as a friend and not a girlfriend. Buck and Taylor are just a huge NOPE in my book.

- I need more of Athena, Bobby, and Michael ASAP! I miss seeing them more on my screen!

- I'm super excited for baby Chimney/Maddie. And I'm so happy Chimney felt safe enough in his relationship to express his feelings about an at home birth. Their relationship is so sweet and healthy and it makes my heart so warm

- I swear on everything I love if they take that little baby away from Hen and Karen I will RIOT! I also hope to see more of Hen's mom and can't wait to see her pass her exam.

- Albert was wrong for dating Buck's bad date, but he's a good guy and overall a good friend. Buck needs more friends outside of Eddie. I hope they give him more of a storyline in part 2.

- Overall loved the first half of 9-1-1 season 4. I hope they do another crossover in part 2 so that Buck can meet Carlos.

9-1-1 Lone Star

- Yes I have hated the baby trope this first half, yes Gwyn has been annoying af and I'm ready for her to go, and YES Owen has been annoying this season too. But I still love Owen and no I don't believe he's a bad person or a bad father. I hope they do right by his character in the second part and bring the old Owen back now that his life is going to go back to what it was. But I also know this is going to leave room for another romantic interest which you just know they're going to bring in. Maybe they'll bring Michelle back 🤷🏽‍♀️

- The amount of screen time Carlos got is *chefs kiss*. I'm so glad we got to see more into his family dynamic. And how great he is as a cop?! Like make that man a detective already! Also Rafael's acting is superb. He has the most expressive eyes I've ever seen! His face with Owen compliments him on his caring heart and how that makes him a great cop? He BEAMED and it was like no one had ever told him that before. I wanted to hug him so badly.

- I'm so happy they're showing a healthy gay relationship. Sure they've had their ups and downs, but they show TK and Carlos working it out perfectly with good communication which is what we need to see represented more with LGBTQ+ couples on TV. I have no doubt they'll last because they're literally the reason most people tune in and the showrunners know that. And that reuniting hug? Ronen and Raf's real life friendship makes their on screen relationship feel so real and I hope that never changes.

- I need more Mateo. The only thing we know is that he's dyslexic and has a cousin in LA. He's such a great character I wish they'd give him more screen time.

- I know that most y'all see them as just a brother/sister pair, but I love the idea of Mateo/Marjan as a couple. I feel like she could help him grow up a little while he could help her have more fun. But either way I love their relationship and want to see more.

-PLEASE give Paul a GREAT love interest. Someone who loves and accepts him for everything he is. He deserves so much love.

- Tommy Vega is THAT BITCH! She deadass basically said "shoot me. You won't". LOVE seeing a strong black woman on the screen. And I hope they give more screen time to Nancy. I feel like she could be a really interesting character.

- Am I the only one that kind of wants to see them bring back Billy Tyson? I know thats so random, but I think he needs redemption. Idk 🤷🏽‍♀️

- Last but not least......thank GOD I read spoilers before watching the episode because if I hadn't prepared myself and they ended the show with that bridge scene......all I gotta say is JUDD AND GRACE BETTER BE FUCKING OK! OR I'M FIGHTING EVERY DAMN BODY! But honestly I think they will be. These two make the show, for one. Judd is deadass the glue that holds that firehouse together and is overall a great character. No way they're killing him off. And Grace is a fucking saint and also a great character. And she's one of the only two black women on the show. Showrunners, y'all really wanna try that? They're such a great, healthy relationship who are literally so unstoppable together. I think they'll have some trauma but survive. And possibly a Ryder baby? Yes please, and please let it be a baby boy. Judd needs a little mixed cowboy 🤠

- Overall the season has been good, but too Owen/Gwyn central. Hoping the next part has more spotlight on the others. Maybe some "Character Begins" episodes? I think a "Judd Begins" Episode would be perfect to start off with to tie into the whole "omg is he alive" aspect we're bound to get.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I A VENOMOUS INTERLUDE

Did y'all know symbrock is canon? Well, now you do. Reader's favourite deadbeat surrogate uncle is in town and he brought a... Friend. No warnings, just a boatload of crack and fluff, as usual. Reader being mouthy. Takes place a little bit into the future - around after chapter 32: spoiler alert is useless because we already know a tonybrucestrange/reader quartet is the endgame. 💖💝✨

"What," I had to pause for a second for my brain to catch up with my eyes. "The fuck?!"

It was truly a miracle I could say anything out loud, at all. Words weren't valid enough to describe my shock and confusion. The scene unfolding in front of me resembled and unholy cross between a B-rated horror movies about demonic possession and some deep-sea Eldritch monstrosity.

The eight-feet tall black, oozing dude in front of me? Yes, you, with the teeth. Ctulhu called, he wants his tentacles back.

The creature honest to god rippled, like some nightmare-fuel goth Jell-O, rapidly shrinking in size within seconds. As more of the black tar-like substance receded, a much more human form started to appear under it. Worn jeans, leather jacket, ungroomed beard and the look of a biker gang member coming off a serious bender.

"Uh, Princess?"

"Eddie. Fucking. Brock. Uncle Idiot." I punctuated each word with an increasing widening of my eyes. The world was fucking nuts. Two and two did not compute - Eddie might have looked threatening to some people - like white suburban Karens - even without the... Gooey squid-on-steroids thing he had going on. The man was built like a fucking brick shithouse, but I knew him way too well. Eddie couldn't be that badass to save a life.

"You two know each other?" Tony shrieked indignantly, a coarseness in his voice that indicated only one thing: my boo was well into his third drink. Hell, I didn't blame him - that gaping toothy maw was fucking gnarly.

Hands on my hips, I caught myself slipping into a mute rage, storming over to the 200lbs worth of pure dumbass and knocking him right in the face. "You! Didn't tell! ME!" A black tendril wrapped around my wrist, carefully but firmly securing it and preventing me from causing my non-related uncle any more physical damage. Although I must admit, my knuckles probably were more affected than his jaw. "You! Are! A MUTANT!!! HOW COULD YOU?! How could you NOT tell ME?"

I trusted the man with my soul and most embarrassing drinking stories. Hell, I called Eddie in a stoned haze the very same night I lost my v-card. I just thought we were bros, you know? I saw his whole fucking life implode more than once and personally flew to California to ice his injuries and his hurt ego countless times. I was done dirty in the worst way.

"I'm not-" Eddie's sigh was long-suffering. "I, uh, I have a parasite..." He sounded meek, in the same way he used to describe his drunkenly misconduct when I made our family driver bail out his ass outta jail in the morning.

"TAKE THAT BACK!" A deep gravelly voice thundered, seemingly coming out of his chest?

"Okay, okay," Eddie smiled. It was strangely soft and un-eddie-like. The only person he smiled like that was... used to be Anne. "This is Venom. They're an alien and we're, uh, a thing. It's a recent development." The tentacle unwrapped itself from me as I took an involuntary step back.

Even barring the fact that Eddie was dating an alien, this was way too fucking weird for 3 o'clock on a Sunday. I always knew the reporter was, for the lack of a better word, a little weird but he really took it to new heights. With Thor and Loki looking... Like that, I could see a human dating some sort of a hot alien. But with Ctulhu looking the way he did just minutes ago? Did Eddie seriously let all of those teeth in close proximity of his dick?

I had a "ERROR 404, common sense not found" hanging over me for the longest time. The others were quiet behind me, too, even Tony - one of my boyfriends, the most likely to cause utter chaos, was hanging back and expecting me to do something.

"Venom," I clarified, just to fill the silence with some noise while my brain processors re-synced.

"WE ARE VENOM." The tentacle that was sleek and black now had two completely white eyes and a smaller-scale version of the toothy grin that had drooled all over the common room carpet. Their voice had an interesting effect: it was so deep, the air around them vibrated slightly when they spoke.

I tilted my head examining the appendage. It was considerably less terrifying when it wasn't five times my size. "What are you?" And most importantly, are you a threat to my favourite non-related family member? I left that statement unspoken although it was obvious I was ready to fight it? Them? If need be.

"A SYMBIOTE," They replied, swaying the head-tentacle slowly. "WE LOVE EDDIE AND KEEP HIM ALIVE AND HEALTHY." So, they understood the actual question.

"Which is fucked up because Klyntar usually behave in the opposite way." Hearing Thor swear was, perhaps, even more unsettling than finding out about the symbiote-alien-boyfriend thing my uncle had going on. The thunderer himself was nursing a jug of golden liquid. The good Asgardian stuff, he must've been really fucking bamboozled.

"Okay. So anybody wanna fill me on the details before I beat up my favourite idiot?" I sighed, pointedly looking at Tony.

"I thought I was your favourite idiot!" He immediately retorted, hurt, but nonetheless opened his arms to give me a grounding embrace. We may have sucked face for a few seconds, because why the hell not, Tony was an amazing kisser and his tongue down my throat was very calming.

"Hold up, what the fuck?" Now it was Eddie's turn to act all offended. "Aren't you a little too young for him?"

"You and your most likely carnivorous goth space pudding can fuck right off if you're not going to be supportive of my very inappropriate, very polyamorous relationship with three incredibly hot boomers," I shot back, slipping into some resemblance of normalcy. Me and Eddie go way, way back and shitting on each other's bad life decisions was the founding stone of our bromance. Hell, he was the guy who showed me the wonders of sarcasm at an early age! Wonderbaum!

"There's three of them?" Eddie's voice pitched and he gaped, palming his face.

"SHE HAS A POINT, EDDIE. WE EAT PEOPLE. BEING UNSUPPORTIVE WOULD MAKE US LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE." Eddie's buddy stated, sounding almost fed up. So, they were sentient enough to recognize how much of a pain in the ass Eddie could be. I could work with that, disregarding the cannibalism comment, of course. What the fuck was up with that?

"Yes, Eddie, I also periodically bump uglies and trade disgustingly sweet text messages with the Hulk and a badass wizard," I rolled my eyes at the reporter's following gasp and angry muttering. "Venom, I like you."

"WE RETURN THE SENTIMENT. YOUR CHOICE IN MATES IS VERY WISE, CONSIDERING YOU ARE A WEAK MORSEL. THEY CAN PROTECT YOU."

"Shut up, Squid. I'll still kick your motherfucking ass if you hurt Eddie."

The emo space goo laughed, a terse scratching noise, showing way, way too many teeth for me to feel comfortable but I allowed myself to be placed on the couch between Tony and Eddie nonetheless. The initial shock of seeing a talking octopod with fangs passed quickly - I've seen Stephen's "trophies" he brought from his otherworldly journeys and Lovecraftian horrors were, honestly, pretty low on the gross/creepy scale.

"Both of you, explain. For the love of fuck," Tony sighed, emotionally exhausted and drained of his usual bravado.

"Eddie was my dad's friend until he moved to Cali, I've know him for fifteen years, give or take. He taught me how to ride a bike and bake the best pot brownies," I shrugged. There wasn't much to say. "I visited him whenever I could but you know, with school and then you guys, there wasn't that much time to iron out the details." I have Eddie a death glare, pointing to Venom's floaty head with my eyes.

Eddie nodded. "What she said..." And then launched an elaborate tale about some company called Life Foundation, some evil dude named Drake and his own alien pudding named Carnage, who was one ugly motherfucker judging by Eddie's and Venom's combined "ew" face, their aching need for human brains to survive and other, more trivial things, like mental breakdowns in a lobster tank and getting dumped by a fiancé and eating their way through a HYDRA base after being captured and tortured. What a wild fucking ride.

"Sounds like you had a rough year," Everybody's dumbfounded silence was ended by Tony who took a slow swig of his whiskey before speaking.

"Yeah, no shit," Eddie muttered, twisting his black coated fingers in elaborate but frankly pretty shapes. His alien wrapped around his neck like a tube scarf and additional tentacles appeared between Eddie's hands, gently prying them open and enveloping them in a sort of a hug? It was hard to compute, the black mass appeared to be totally amorphous.

"How's your anxiety?" I asked, damn well knowing Eddie's mind tended to run like Tony's: zero to sixty in point five with no clear destination. Having an alien inside of him must've really thrown Eddie for a loop.

"It's, uh, better. Venom helps," The reporter admitted, still staring at his hands but the crease between his brows had disappeared and the expression he wore was kind of fond.

"Good. You know, Venom," I thoughtfully addressed the definitely sentient creature. "Eddie is a bigger dumbass than me, which is saying something. You ought to keep a really close eye on him. If not for me, he'd probably be dead from alcohol poisoning, like, years ago."

"WE ARE AWARE. WE CAN ACCESS EDDIE'S MEMORIES." A head manifested itself on a thicker tentacle, floating over to look me in the face but maintaining a respectful distance and staying out of my personal space bubble. "AND WE ARE THANKFUL. EDDIE IS THE PERFECT HOST. WE LOVE EDDIE."

I felt the corner of my mouth tilt upwards at the alien's proclamation. It was child-like in its blunt honesty but carried a certain weight with it. It told me whoever tries to separate those two in any way would get eaten faster than they could say "SIKE!". And honestly? I would help Venom hide the evidence.

"I literally had you for thirty minutes but I would kill everybody and then myself if you two got hurt. This is too soft, I can't." I snorted, extending a curious hand towards Venom. They looked so shiny. I had to touch them.

And they let me. Venom butted their head into my palm and let me gently run my fingers over their slightly cool, slippery flesh. It felt like putting my hands on a surprisingly sturdy yet bouncy piece of flubber. I purposely avoided the small maw and the endless rows of sharp teeth but managed to accidentally brush against something rough and scratchy - as it turned out, the Symbiote had a very long, very dexterous tongue. And didn't that give me a bunch of interesting mental images.

"Oh my God, NO!" Wanda moaned from somewhere, the voice mortified and disgusted.

"Why are you touching the people-eating alien?" Bruce yelped, entering the room with several people in tow. The scientist looked worried, a little bit green around the edges. The tablet in his hands beeped periodically, signifying the ongoing sciencing bender he was in process of.

"WE WOULD NOT EAT THIS HUMAN. WE ARE FOND OF THE MORSEL." Venom defended, well, venomously. Eddie wisely choose to stay silent, trading a knowing look with Tony.

Stephen Strange sighed, briefly closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with a jagged movement. "One day, Princess, one day you will stop collecting people that are obviously bad for your health and your future. That, or space in the tower will simply run out." With a deeper, calmer sigh, the sorcerer landed in front of me on the floor, sitting cross-legged and subtly begging for a head scratch. Which meant just placing his always neatly trimmed curls under my free hand. His jealousy was about as subtle as a foot in the face.

"I'll just ask Tony to build more floors, duh," I rolled my eyes with force at the obvious solution, giving into Steph's demands, beginning to card through his hair. It was calming both of us, really.

Bruce came over to give me a kiss and my other boyfriends didn't even grumble about the scientist placing himself in my lap, crawling over both Tony and Stephen to get comfortable.

Our dynamic was unconventional and more than a little weird, but it worked for us and the rest of the team most certainly didn't complain about the vast decrease in conflict that came with the territory. Come to think of it, all of us were more tactile than just a group of friends sharing a house and I was very much on board with that. None of us except select few (looking at you, mister doctor) were hugged enough as children and we were making up for it in spades right fucking now.

"Girl has a type," Wanda remarked, like the messy little shit she was. I stuck out my tongue in retaliation.

The Avengers' brain trust began talking about Venom's slightly inconvenient diet that directly resulted in multiple felonies for one Edward Brock, and as much as I tried to follow the flow and make my own, however feeble, contributions to the scientific side of the conversation, the new life form was much more interesting. I asked Venom several questions and they deemed them acceptable enough to answer - which evolved on both of us absolutely geeking out over the differences in our physiology. The space pudding didn't hold back one bit, insulting the inferior human biology with gleeful gusto.

"They need a chemical called phenethylamine," Bruce sighed, having deduced it through discussion since Venom and Eddie both protested aggressively against any kind of invasive testing. "I can synthesize it. No more head-chomping, no more murder."

It made perfect sense. Except it didn't. "Brucie-bear, you're a brilliant fucking scientist but a shit psychologist." I interrupted whatever came next. "Venom is a person, like me and you and, yes, even Hulk. Tell me this: if you found a way to get rid of Hulk, would you stop sciencing in the gamma radiation field?" I looked my boyfriend straight in the eyes, hoping for a spark of common sense. "Do you see my point? You science, Tony engineers, Steve draws and Clint bakes. Venom hunts. It's who they are, you can't give them a pill to make it go away."

The weight of my word landed in the room like lead, heavy. The only source of sound was the TV, playing the news quietly in the background for the longest time. Those few minutes felt like hours until Thor expectantly turned towards Eddie/Venom.

"IT IS SO. WE ARE AFRAID WE CANNOT INFLUENCE OUR INSTINCT TO HUNT PREY. KLYNTAR ARE APEX PREDATORS." The little black goop sounded almost apologetic. It was hard to hear undertones with their voice being so deep and grating. "BUT WE CAN TRY." Okay, I could totally hear the hope. Finding out the Eldritch horror could make puppy eyes was... Terrifying, to be honest, because they fucking worked.

"Got any better ideas?" Tony asked me sarcastically.

"I do, actually." I leveled a look with Natasha. She understood. "HYDRA goons. The aliens that, for some reason, keep invading New York every month or so. Stephen's adventures in Hell. Do I need to continue?"

"Wait, hold on," Steve raised his palms. "We don't kill HYDRA, we deposit them in SHIELD custody."

I snorted at the naïve Captain. "And what do you think happens to them there? Did you honestly think they just let torturing, murdering, world-domination planning psychos back on the streets?"

Steve frowned in confusion. "They go to prison?"

Natasha choose that moment to step up. "It's not uncommon for them to possess certain enhancements to be deemed too dangerous to be released back into society. Some of them are low-tier mutants and inhumans. Trust me, Steve, the lethal injection is a much more humane treatment than solitary life imprisonment in a ultra-high security prison." Romanoff stated with a trace of compassion. "And some mutants, we can't contain for prolonged periods of time." She added quietly, looking away.

Rogers was staring blankly into the wall, mulling over the information in his head. His intensive thought process was plainly visible on his face. I heard about some kind of fiasco with HYDRA agents suicide-bombing a city in Europe few years ago and Steve was there, along with Wanda and Sam.

"Venom is a whole person, and even if they look like they could be the main character in Call of Ctulhu video game, we can't just disregard them like they are some kind of badly behaving pet. They're my honorary uncle's boyf-sorry-significant other, for fuck's sake," I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. "Y'all should know I don't fuck with people who give shit to one of my own. Don't disappoint me like that." I finished, feeling more tired than I had in months. I didn't regret giving into the found family dynamic, however I didn't exactly sign up for hard choices like them vs my long lost uncle, y'know?

Great, now I had a headache and three very concerned boyfriends glaring at me for unknown reasons. The urge to pace always manifested strongly within me as the emotional atmosphere rose in the room. With Bruce dangling off my lap, I couldn't do even that and I felt the restlessness blossom into irritation more and more with each passing second of my existence.

Eddie remained silent, looking down. Venom had mostly receded into the reporter's body, save for a few tentacles tightly wrapped around Eddie's palm.

"Alright," Steve suddenly said. "We can work with that."

"Princess, you look like you're either going to cry or yell any second," Bruce said softly, squeezing my shoulder and pulling me closer.

I immediately hid my face in his chest, taking several deep, shaky breaths. "Eddie is family. Y'all are family. It's terrifying to have to choose between the two." I said, after a brief moment of hesitation.

The reporter made some sort of a choked gasp, quickly masking it with a cough - I knew him way too well to miss the way he was fighting back tears of his own. Bruce understood, he really did understand me - hopped off my lap and let me hug Eddie properly, my happy-sad tears soaking through the collar of his tee.

"You're, uh, welcome to stay. I'll have a guest room prepared." Tony cleared his throat, passing his half-finished glass to Stephen who swallowed the liquid in one gulp. My boyfriends were so fucking emotionally illiterate. Disaster humans.

Huh, I really did have a type.

Later that night, I made the mistake of barging into Eddie's room with a bottle of really fancy whiskey I liberated from Tony's overstocked liquor cabinet. Visiting my uncle and boozing and smoking on the balcony, for old times sake, was my plan and...

I failed the mission successfully.

I didn't bother knocking. As soon as I saw a pair of bare feet, my eyes traveled further up on the couch on their own volition. There were so many tentacles, a writhing, oozing silky black mass and Eddie was making sounds, unmistakable noises-

"UNSEE. UNSEE. OH MY GOD, UNSEE, UNSEE." I stumbled back into the common room shivering.

"What happened, is everything okay?" Bucky stood up as soon as he saw me enter the doorway with my face scrunched in a grimace of regret. I felt like I've gone through the five stages of grief in the shortest time possible for a human being.

Somwhere, I heard Wanda's sudden moan full of pain and misery. "Please, stop THINKING about it!"

"Brain bleach, oh my God," I cringed. "Where's the Clorox?! I have decided I don't need my eyeballs-"

"Oooh," Tony's proverbial lightbulb lit up. The engineer sounded like he was about five seconds away from building a space ship and permanently moving to another planet. "They're together-together..." Tony intercepted me nonetheless, doing the most effective thing to make me stop speaking and thinking bullshit. He kissed me. With lots of tongue.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95

[lady-grace-pens]

Wip Excerpt: HTKAG

In light of this wip hitting another 10k word goal recently (currently sitting pretty at a whopping 120k/150k 😅), another excerpt is due! This babe I wrote today, buut I actually loved it so much I knew I had to share it with y'all right away. That all being said, let's stop wasting time and get straight into it!

Our scene begins with Allister entering a restaurant to have dinner with Mikko, Fingal, and Perci, but Perci is late.

—

Upon telling the hostess Fingal’s name, she leads me away to the right half of the room. Off in a booth stowed away in the corner sit Mikko and Fingal jabbering away mid-conversation. Once they notice me, they stop and smile.

“Hey! There’s the man of the hour,” Mikko exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.

“Not late, am I?” I grin, taking a seat beside him.

“Nope. Right on time to get some drinks,” Mikko starts smouldering at our hostess.

“With what money?” Fingal retorts with a glare.

Mikko blinks, struggling to come up with a defense. It seems he mustn't have anticipated Fingal to interrupt his attempt at flirting…

“Wha - With our money, of course,” he laughs, trying his best to make a smooth recovery.

“Aye. Which is why we’re not using my money to buy alcohol while a minor is here.”

Mikko doesn’t reply. Then again I suppose he doesn't need to, his confusion is written all over his face.

“Don’t tell me you forgot about Perci. He’ll be here any minute.”

“Oh! Fuck, that’s right. Him. Well obviously he won’t be getting any. And come on! You know how fast I can down a beer Fin! It’ll just be a few. Just a few rounds! Don’t be an ass.”

“Watch yourself Mikko, it's not polite to use such language in the presence of a lady.” I chime in, giving the hostess a polite smile.

“Oh I’ll show you what’s not polite-” Mikko says before slapping my head.

I try to hit him back, but he catches my hand before I can. Before we know it, we’re caught in a ridiculous slapping fight, both laughing our asses off.

“Not in a restaurant, not in a restaurant!” I speak through gasps, trying to end things.

Mikko obliges, tossing his hands back in his lap.

“A waiter will be right with you,” the hostess makes a case to look at each one of us except for Mikko before finishing her sentence, “... gentleman.”

Much to my surprise, Mikko doesn’t seem to be affected by that backhanded insult. Instead he kicks his knees up against the table and rests his head back, totally listless.

“Mikko, I would’ve thought you’d be more offended by that.”

“Huh? Why would I be offended at something when it’s true?”

“I’ll say. You and Al couldn’t be any more opposite. If there’s anything larger than the truth, the fact that you’re not a gentleman is way beyond it.”

“Exactly. And Mikko, you are aware of the fact that she was just a hostess, right? It isn’t even her job to serve us drinks.”

“I... “ Mikko laughs before leaning over the table again. “Listen. You two just don’t get it, do you? No. You don’t. Allow me to be the one who graces your palettes here, eh? Let me tell you what I’m gonna do. Okay? I’m gonna give you a tip. A piece of advice that will change your lives forever. All for free! You don’t even have to pay me. All you gotta do is listen. Got it? You both ready?”

Fingal and I share a look. I can tell we’re thinking along a similar vein of confused intrigue. We should most likely stop Mikko here, as whatever will come out his mouth won’t be anything good. However, we’re both too stunned to stop him, so…

Mikko beckons us to lean closer to him. Fin and I oblige. We’re almost touching heads when at last our dear mentor speaks once again, in a hushed voice. “It’s not about what you say. It’s about how you say it.”

…

There are no words. For about a minute straight Fingal and I are just staring at each other wearing the same expression that exudes two questions. ‘What the fuck? You’ve heard that too, haven’t you?’

Soon after that’s established and our shock subsides, we burst back to life. Fingal starts us off with, “Dammit Mikko. What the fuck? Where did you learn that? Who taught you that?”

“Some guys from the bar! Why, what’s wrong with it?”

“Which guys from the bar?”

“I don’t see how it-”

“Mikko. Which guys from the bar taught you this?” Fingal insists, a flash of anger showing in his eyes.

Mikko seems to notice this, and complies straight away. “Leo, John, Peter and Paul!”

Fingal buries his head in his hands. This sparks my curiosity. I haven’t heard these names before, but Fin clearly has.

“I can’t say I’m familiar with them, who might they be?”

“Bar friends-” Mikko starts, only for Fingal to finish for him.

“Jokesters. Jerks. Cheapskates always looking for a laugh. Assholes. Can’t wait to give them a piece of my mind.”

Mikko shrinks away from Fin. His head is turned away from me, but I don’t need to see it in order to know how stunned he is. It’s expressed flawlessly through the abnormal quietness of his voice. “Fin? What’s up, why’d you-”

“Because those dicks have been filling your head with shit like this every damn time I turned my back, Mikko! Dammit, this - this is why you always get rejected! Universe, I just wish you would’ve checked with me first about things like this. Not some strangers you barely even know, yet idolize them anyway.

You wanna know how you get a girl Mikko? Huh? You be nice. You be nice to them, you talk with them, and you listen. Compliments and flirting, all that helps, of course, but not forever! And you sure as hell can’t build a relationship strictly off of it. Okay? Standards and expectations vary from girl to girl, but with each and every single one there are a few things that you just have to do. Be nice, have respect, help them just for the sake of helping them! Don’t expect anything in return. Overall just - just be a decent fucking human being. That is how you get a girl.”

Mikko sits there, staring at his brother. I can’t help but do the same. In every respect, Fingal is right. Of course he is. It’s just… rare that we see him so worked up. I can hardly believe my eyes. I can hardly believe my ears, I… I can’t imagine how Mikko must be feeling.

Oh so gradually his head sinks down into his lap. He slumps over, and I swear I can see fractions of tears reflect the golden light radiating above us.

“Can’t believe I’m actually telling you this when you’re eighteen. Fucking eighteen,” Fingal scoffs, crossing his arms.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be. I’m not mad at you. This is my own fault, I blame myself.”

“Aw, come on man! That’s even worse,” pouts Mikko.

Fingal then turns to me with an abruptness that makes me jump. “Al, what’s up? You’ve been quiet for a while. You can back me up on this, can’t you?”

“I…” I force a chuckle to try and lighten the air some. “I don’t think that I’m currently in a position to give advice like this, to be honest with you.”

Fingal leans his elbows on the table, holding his head with one hand. “Why? Something happen with Maddie?”

“Oh, did it ever,” I shake my head.

—

Aand that's all you guys get for spoiler reasons! Lmao

(also because that's all I've written today but shhhh don't tell anyone)

Buut yeah. Legit I swear I didn't mean to go so hard on feminist Fingal 😂 I mean don't get me wrong here, he's absolutely right and I'm keeping it in. But still, the words just kept on coming and coming and we ended up with this

so

y'know

yeah

writing is super fun sometimes

Plus tbh, writing the part where Mikko is stroking his ego and whispers his ‘top secret trick to get women’, I was literally laughing out loud 😂 like he's just so wrong, and I love how horribly Mikko fails in life. It's just super funny to me, I enjoy it a lot.

Fingal, however, clearly does not enjoy it, lmao. Legit I had no clue he could be so protective until today! Especially over Mikko. I mean I always knew their dynamics, but today… it really hit home for me.

Go back and look at the line of dialogue Fingal says right after Mikko apologizes (a rare occurrence, actually).

It’s just one little piece of dialogue, barely a few sentences! Yet I feel like it hits you. You know? It reveals so much about his and Mikko’s vibes, their situation. A pair of brothers poor and orphaned by their birth parents and raised by their grandmother, who is only growing older and weaker each year. Fingal, the eldest, having to take responsibility often. He feels pressured to raise his little bro, and feels like he's failed when Mikko turns out to be the way he is. Ya know? It's just one little thing of dialogue but I feel like it makes you feel the pressure Fin has to bear in a situation like theirs. Even if it’s only for a moment.

And Mikko! While he does incite a lot of the comic relief in HTKAG, I wouldn’t call him a strict comic relief character because that's never what I had in mind while writing him. He and Fin actually play a vital role in the plot of the story! Much more than what I can currently reveal to y'all.

Buut anyways, I'll stop rambling now. I really hope you guys enjoyed this little excerpt just as much as I adored writing it :)

—

taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed!): @vampire-with-a-pen @writingonesdreams @justyouraveragewriter @kazenokaori @dahladahlabills

[moonstruckholland]

Sober (t.h)

Word count: 1,918

Warnings: drinking, fluff, tiny bits of angst

A/N: The second oneshot for Cosmic Souls! I really hope y'all like this 💕 let me know what you think if you do and if you want, you can find the first oneshot in my masterlist 🥰 also, as always, shout out to the amazing @fangirlwithasweettooth for reading this over

It was obvious by the way you were dressed you hadn't originally planned on having Tom over.

Usually, you didn't care much for getting dressed up when you hung out with Tom at your place, opting for a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Not that he ever minded, he loved that you felt comfortable enough to be yourself around him.

Tonight though you had on a pretty floral dress that complimented your skin and more makeup than you usually cared to put on, pops of color and shimmer on your lids that added to the natural sparkle in your eyes.

Tom thought you looked beautiful.

Though, to be fair, there hadn't been a moment since he met you three years ago, in the music history class the both of you were forced to take, where he hadn't thought you looked absolutely stunning.

"So, what exactly happened tonight, love?" He looked up to where you were sitting next to him on the couch, hoping he didn't seem too eager to hear your answer, "You were pretty vague with the details over the phone."

"Fuck, Tommy, it was horrible," you took a sip of your cup, that was mostly filled with vodka, scrunching your nose as the liquid went down your throat, "I had a date tonight with that dude I was telling you about the other day, from my child and family development class."

Tom felt a pang in his chest as he remembered exactly who you were talking about, recalling how you fawned over him while the two of you were having lunch together, mentioning something about wanting to jump his bones.

He felt just as jealous then as he did now, wondering if you'd ever noticed the fact that he would literally do anything for you.

"Not only was he almost an hour late, didn't even bother to warn me, by the way," you rolled your eyes, bringing your cup to your lips again, "He wouldn't stop talking about his ex the whole time, but I'm getting ahead of myself, let me start from when he finally picked me up."

You continued on, taking large gulps of your drink as the details of the story got worse and worse.

Tom followed in your footsteps, drinking more from his cup than he had originally planned when you first handed it to him, each sip helping him refrain from blurting out what he actually wanted to say to you.

It was safe to say by the time you were done talking, the two of you were definitely tipsy.

It was safe to say by the time you were done talking, Tom was definitely buzzed. You on the other hand were on a completely different level, taking shots in between drinks, going harder than Tom had ever seen.

You had just finished your third cup, already working on your fourth one, while Tom had barely taken sips of his third one, figuring it'd be best if at least one of you slowed down.

"How do you manage to find the worst guys to go on dates with?"

You sighed, "I don't know, I just want one actually nice guy to want me, that's it."

'I want you,' is what Tom's thoughts were begging him to say. Instead he gave you a sympathetic smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "You'll have that some day, darling."

You leaned back on the couch, sadness overcoming your features, "I wish there were more guys like you, Tommy."

He barely had time to register your words, his head fuzzy from the alcohol, before you distracted him with an awkward cough, mumbling something about it being too warm.

"Maybe you should take that as a sign to take a break."

Just like that the sadness washed away, replaced with a wicked smile, "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm only getting started."

Tom rolled his eyes, getting up from the couch with a groan and walking over to the fridge to get a couple of water bottles and the bag of chips on the kitchen counter, knowing you'd have the worst hangover if he didn't get some food and something non-alcoholic in your system.

He brought them over to you, handing you the bottle and putting the chips on your lap, "Eat something please, darling."

"Don't wanna eat," you shook your head stubbornly, "I wanna dance."

Before Tom could protest, you downed the rest of your cup before jumping up and grabbing his hand, pulling him up with you. "C'mon, dance with me, Tommy, please."

"But there's no music."

Tom expected you to do the easy thing and connect your phone to your Bluetooth speakers and play one of the dozens of playlists you had on Spotify, instead you caught him off guard by belting out the lyrics to What Makes You Beautiful.

He couldn't help the laughter that bursted from him as you started swaying and twirling while you sang.

It was totally ridiculous, but Tom found himself singing along with you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close so you could sway together.

After a while you stopped singing and put your head on his chest, making his heart hurt. He wished this was more than what it was, more than him comforting you after a bad date.

Tom tried not to dwell on his negative thoughts, deciding to just close his eyes, lay his head on top of yours, and enjoy having you close to him like this.

He got lost in you, the feeling of your hands in his and the way your body was pressed against him, so close he could smell the scent of your favorite perfume.

He'd been close to you so many times over the years, but something about this was inherently different, more intimate than you'd ever been before.

There was nothing he wanted more than to stay in this moment, in your embrace, for the rest of the night and honestly he would've if you hadn't somehow tripped over his feet, resulting in the two of you falling back onto the couch.

You landed on top of Tom, drunken giggles escaping your lips, "Are you okay?"

"I'm cutting you off for the night," he huffed, making you laugh even more as you attempted to apologize.

You rolled off of him after a moment, your chest rising rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. It took everything in him not to pull you back, his body aching for your warmth as soon as it was gone

"I think...it's time for bed."

"Good idea," Tom stood up, holding out his hand to help you do the same.

"Will you pretty please carry me? I have jelly legs."

Tom couldn't help rolling his eyes at you, "Jelly legs from what? You're the one that fell on me."

"Please?" You pouted, "Because you love me?"

'I really do.'

If he had wanted to, he would've put up a fight, but deep down he knew he would do anything you asked of him. You had him completely wrapped around your finger.

"Fine," he said, pretending to be annoyed, as if he hadn't already decided he would carry you the second you asked him to.

He hooked one arm underneath your legs, the other under your back, holding you close to his chest as he carried you to your bedroom.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Tommy," you said softly as he laid you down, pulling your blanket over you and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"I'll always be here to take care of you."

'I'd do anything for you.'

He was about to leave your room and pass out on the couch, when you grabbed his arm, "Stay with me? Please?"

He nodded, wordlessly crawling under the covers beside you.

You turned over so you were facing him, your hands in between you, just barely touching Tom's, an unreadable expression on your features.

"What are you thinking about?"

You shook your head, "It's so dumb."

He gently nudged your leg with his, "Tell me, darling."

"I-fuck, okay," you looked down, suddenly very interested in the pattern on your blanket. "I swear there wasn't a moment tonight where I hadn't wished I was with you."

"After what you told me, I wish I was there too."

"No, Tommy, you don't get it," you chewed your lip nervously, looking everywhere but at him, "I don't just feel this way about this date, it's every date."

Your words weren't really clicking in Tom's head and he was starting to think the alcohol was having more of an effect on him than he originally thought.

"I want you to be the one to pick me up and take me to dinner. I want to hold your hand when we go to the movies," you voice got lower the more you talked and you shyly peeked up through your lashes to gauge Tom's reaction, "I want to kiss you and murmur how much I love you against your lips."

Tom's heart was beating hard against his chest, the sound so loud in his ears he could barely hear you.

He couldn't believe it. Were you really saying the words he's been wanting to hear since the day he met you?

If his head wasn't buzzing with a million different thoughts, he probably would've kissed you or at least said a few coherent sentences but all he could manage to blurt out was, "You love me?"

Something in you seemed to switch, your words stuttering and your eyes widening with shock as you realized exactly what you just said to Tom.

"Shit. I-I'm so drunk," you turned over, your back now facing him, "I, um, I'm tired. I need to go to sleep."

"Y/n-"

"No, Tom, it's okay. Please just Forget I said anything."

He laid there in complete silence, his eyes glued to your back as he contemplated what he should do, if he should say anything or do as you said and put tonight behind him.

'Don't be an idiot, tell her.'

"Y/n?"

You didn't say anything for a moment too long, making Tom's stomach clench. What if you were asleep and he missed his chance completely?

"Yeah, Tommy?" You said so quietly Tom could barely hear you.

"I love you too."

He felt like he was going to be sick as he waited for you to say something or just do anything to let him know you hadn't suddenly changed your mind.

Tom was starting to wonder if you heard him or maybe you just didn't care when you reached behind your back and grabbed his arm, pulling it towards you. You laced your fingers through his as you brought his hand to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

He let out a breath of relief he hadn't realized he'd been holding before hesitantly scooting closer to you, closing up the little space between you.

Once again Tom found himself in a position he'd been a million times, wrapped up in you, but the air had changed and it was almost like it was the first time.

In the back of his mind he knew there was a chance you were only saying this because of the alcohol in your system, but he pushed the thought away, and nuzzled his face into your hair before closing his eyes, hoping you'd still mean what you said when the sun came up.

Tagging: @fangirlwithasweettooth @bravest-at-heart @hollandsamor @constellatinq @aidiastyles @ravenclawmarvel @cosmicholland @sleepyhollands @devildisguiseasangel @fairytaleparker @hollandsosterfield @now-imagine @officiallyunofficialperson @stealth-spiderr @xxxxdelenaxxxx @its-the-aerieljeane @petersstarcadet @babebenhardy @antoouu @lovinnholland @kxrtwxgner @sleepybesson @awkwardfangirl2014 @brookeelee98 @nedthegay @petersmparker @parkeroffline @snjms02 @the-queen-procrastinator @tomhollandsumbrella @spideyosterfield @thollandx @styles-balor4eva @80sthottie @marvelobsessedteenager @marshyrebelcloud @sixwyrxstuff @itscaminow @tomshufflepuff @jillanaholland @howdyherron @undiadeestos @quaksonhehe @theslytherinwarrior @itstaskeen

[ahkaahshi]

their animal crossing: wild world playing style [hcs]

characters: bokuto koutarou, sakusa kiyoomi, akaashi keiji

genre: humor and crack. what’s new

warning(s): I repeat, this is crack; also swearing

notes: y'all I'm talking specifically about animal crossing: wild world here. for the nintendo ds. that shit hit!! take me back. also, please bear with me; the chaotic energy here is just off the charts for absolutely no reason. when I finished this, it was suddenly midnight and I was listening to k.k. slider music on youtube. what a trip that was. enjoyed it tho.

CHAOTIC

dude the inside of his house has so many different vibes happening

the floors and the wallpapers in every room don't match??

he calls it creative freedom. no, he’s just a cheapskate since y'all know he’s only using that free stuff that he shot out the damn sky or found in the ground.

thinks it’s fun to chase the roaches that are always in his house

boy loves donating his fish, bugs, and fossils to the museum

just so he can go through and admire his work, like yes I caught that!! aren’t I the best??

keeps some of his catches tho and displays them at home. also names them.

once he found out that you could hit rocks and get bells, he was running around town hitting every. single. rock.

is really, really bad at catching bugs bc he just RUNS everywhere and scares them off

loves shaking trees to collect fruit

has been stung by many, many wasps because of this. poor boy can never make it inside in time lmao

talks to all the villagers like they’re actually his friends. also knows where they live by heart. visits their houses. vibes most with nibbles.

girl, don’t even get me started with his villager

y’all KNOW he’s at able sisters making his own clothing patterns with that tiny stylus in his fingers. the concentration is UNMATCHED

same goes for the town flag.

it’s raining. this boy says umbrella? there’s umbrellas in this game?? and proceeds to run around in the rain without one

villager’s hairstyle? permanent bedhead. if kuroo does it, so can he.

NEVER REMEMBERS TO SAVE

resetti’s always on his ass about it every time he opens his ds and turns on the game. poor guy. but he needs to save.

his town’s full of weeds. he don’t give a fuck. he’s just tryna have fun.

drinks way too much coffee at the roost. brewster is concerned for him.

visits omi’s town against his will. akaashi actually lets him come over. 

let him visit you! he’ll plant his fruit for you and send you a love letter

okay, y’all. omi shits on this game at first but ends up secretly loving it

I mean, it’s so easy for him to form a routine and maintain task focus

he thrives off that!! the only thing he hates tho is that it never actually ends. that’ll keep him up at night

his routine: wake up, pick weeds, catch fish/bugs, dig for treasure, make bank

there’s not a single weed in his town. he picks them ALL.

his house is all one, cohesive theme. low key boring.

literal minimalist with like no furniture

he don’t need it, he’s always out grinding and only comes home when it’s time to sleep bc he’s just that hardcore

makes an event out of going to the roost every saturday night to listen to young k.k. slider play his groovy jams so he can collect ALL the cds

wants to catch every. single. creature. y’all know it makes him heated that those plaques in the museum are empty n that there are gaps in his lil handbook

has hella bells in the bank. pelly + phyllis want to be his sugar babies.

his character is probs dressed in the most basic ass outfit but with a ~ mask ~ since that’s on brand for him. picks one look and sells the rest of his fits. truly focused on the coin.

he’s just tryna pay off his mortgage, get a big ass house, and upgrade nook’s store to its fullest potential

is constantly trying to find ways to kick all the villagers out of his town. won’t accept the fact that he’ll always have neighbors. 

will run for the fucking hills if any of them get that lil expression like they have something to say to him. he ain’t doin a damn thing for them.

got his hair done. came out lookin a fool. was too annoyed to go back and get it fixed. has worn a hat ever since.

always outruns the wasps. this bitch ain’t getting stung. 

the way his villager looked after he got stung the first time made him gag so he vowed to escape the wasps like his life depended on it after that.

you wanna invite him to your town? he's taking your fruit, planting it back home, and selling it to turn a profit. your trees will be empty.

special town events? he’s never heard of em. fuck em. unless there’s money involved. then he’s there. wins the fishing tourney every time.

similar to sakusa in that he enjoys task focus, but will put way more effort into the experience

for example, his house is most definitely themed

like every floor has its own, cohesive vibe, complete with matching furniture placed in a very exact manner

visits tom nook’s store like everyday to see if he has the last item to complete his furniture sets

has a different k.k. slider song playing on every floor on his golden stereos. only the bangers tho.

roaches? he doesn’t know them.

his town is completely free of weeds. he hates them.

will help the villagers if they need it but will not enjoy it.

just let him fish, damn

speaking of, yall know how hard he’s smashing that button when the fish bites? hard. that bitch aint getting away. will catch them on the first try!

is a professional bug hunter. the bugs literally never see this man coming!! he is stealth.

spends a lot of time in the observatory and the aquarium sections of the museum bc they have nice vibes

grabs a cuppa at the roost every now n then. will come for the k.k. slider concerts and listen to the entire song. bless his lil cotton socks.

his villager is stuntin. like fully accessorized, new day new outfit type of deal. wardrobe is thriving. we love him for that.

if it’s rainin, he’s poppin his umbrella. he came prepared.

sends the most basic letters but on the ~ fancy ~ paper

will write thx 4 having me over on the firework paper or some shit lmao I can't.

will spend the bells on his haircut until he’s happy with his look. remembers the combo so he doesn’t have to mess around every time his villager wakes up with bedhead.

town event? he’s there. he’s all in for the experience. savors the special moments

is that villager with the sparkler on the 4th of july. also, gets all the love letters from other villagers on valentines day bc he helps literally everyone n remembers their birthdays. he deserves the best.

is 100% that bitch who plays at night just so he can listen to the 10/11pm rainy day music on repeat whilst strolling around the village by himself, twirling his umbrella n getting in his feelings low key (that was also me haha I just called myself out)

invite him to your town! he’ll fish with you and y’all can go to a k.k. slider concert together <3

[momoh-chiin]

Okay y'all I'm gonna write some fucking FLUFF because these SUF episodes kicked my ASS and I wanna marry Steven, I'm sure you all want to do it too

HERE U GO, ENJOY!!!

Warnings: Published as I first wrote it, we die like man

Steven Universe x Female Reader - Proposal! (Takes place in SUF episode 13)

Steven couldn't help but feel down at the fact you knew perfectly about what to so with yourself while he was there unsure of what to do tomorrow day. The whole being pink and lonely thing didn't help either.

So that's why he's walking along with Ruby now, expressing his thoughts.

—I just wanna stay with her, like you and Sapphire!— Steven exclaimed, blushing a little. Then he did a dramatic pose as to get his point across—. (Y/N) is my future!

Ruby, who had been listening the whole time, squealed so hard she even burnt the grass.

—Steven! Propose!— She yelled happily.

—W-What?! Propose?!— He repeated, blushing furiously now—. I-I don't know about that...

—Don't tell me you hadn't thought about it!

—Uh... Well...—He tried to say otherwise, but ended up giggling and sighing lovingly at the thought of you married—. Yeah, I have.

—Then propose! Propose! Propose!!—Ruby yelled louder everytime, enthusiastic about the whole situation.

—Are you sure about it?—Steven asked, looking at the floor while playing with his fingers, embarrassed.

—Yeah! Also this is (Y/N) we are talking about! She loves you almost as much as I love Sapphire! You got this, dude!

Steven was feeling more and more enthusiastic with the whole proposal thing too. Yeah! You two loved each other! This was going to work!

—If you have any doubts, you can always ask a certain someone who can see the future!

But that wasn't necessary, Steven was going to propose, he was sure you would say yes!

///////////

Everyone around Steven could feel his contagious happiness as he got everything he needed; he got a big bouquet of (your favorite flowers), a cake of (your favorite flavor), and also an accessory for your hair that matches your beautiful, (H/L) hair!

Dressing nicely with his best clothes, he went to Lion to make the last preparations at the best spot in the beach.

—Oh, Lion, this is going to be great! Just think about it!—Steven exclaimed as he prepared the place as romantically as possible—. She would so beautiful with a wedding dress! Or if she wants to use a suit, we could match! Flowers everywhere!—He sighed as he quickly finished, satisfied—. Come on, Lion! Before it gets too late!

///////

You were concentrating as much as you could, but now it was just so hard! How could you study if you were missing your boyfriend so much?

Yes, you two did call each other and texted as much as you could, but it wasn't the same. You wanted to kiss his cute face and cuddle any worry away!

As you kept fantasizing about your boyfriend, you almost didn't notice the little knock on your window. Frowning, you got up and opened your window. Your frown left your face as soon as you caught Steven.

—Steven! You are looking great! What brings you here?—You exclaimed, obviously happy about your boyfriend paying a visit.

—Well, I believe you will take a fifteen minutes break in about two minutes, right?—He asked hopefully, even if he already knew he was right. You giggled as you took out your phone and nodded.

—Yeah, right on spot!

—So, uh, I wanted to take you out for a little walk! You need some fresh air.

You blushed as you saw Steven nervousness, naively believing it was because he was worried about you.

—Aw, Steven! I—You started but got interrupted.

—I-I swear we'll be bad in fifteen minutes! And we'll go with Lion, so-

—No, silly! Let me change first! I'm not going out with my pyjamas!—You two laughed together as you changed for something nicer and fixed your hair as fast as you could. Nothing too fancy since you would be out for just fifteen minutes.

—Ready!—You ran out of your house, jumping to hug Steven, then getting comfortable for your ride.

—Alright, here we go!

You closed your eyes as Lion opened a portal and got in (man, you always got dizzy here). The second you opened your eyes though, you were shocked.

You should have known! Giggling as Steven helped you get off Lion, you wished you got something nicer, as "a walk" was basically a "picnic date".

—What's all of this, sweetie?—You asked, your eyes shining almost as much as the sun.

—Well, you see—Steven blushed as he took his free hand to his neck, a little —. I have something really important to tell you!

—Oh? What it is?—You asked again, tilting your head a little.

—Okay, so... You know you are really important to me, right?—Steven started, blushing a little bit more, if that was even possible. You nodded while smiling brightly, so he took that as his cue to continue—. I can't see myself in the future without you anymore. You are so fantastic, sweet, kind, nice, beautiful, and a lot more I can't say because I have less that ten minutes!—You both laughed at that—. But my point is, I love you so much, (Y/N), and I want to be myself... With you.

You were at the verge of tears, blushing almost as much as Steven.

—Aww, Steven, that's so cute!

Although you couldn't continue your response, as you saw Steven get on one knee, taking a little box out of his jacket.

—Will you marry me?

SO THIS IS FUCKING LONG FOR ME AND I WANNA DO 2 ENDINGS, SO SECOND PART INCOMING Y'ALL

REQUESTS FOR SU ARE CLOSED!

[babybottlepop96]

Kakashi x Reader

A/N: this is SFW, unless y'all want a NSFW part 2, then I'll be glad to give y'all some of the nasty! Lol this ended up being like a mystery Guy type kinda thing, not at all what I intended but that's how it ended up. I just didn't realize that I didn't say the guys name till the end of the story and felt too lazy to go and add it in. Lol, so sorry! Hope you enjoy! Let me know if you want a part two!

Ever been a young kid with a crush on an older boy? An older boy from another village? Granted, I'm twenty one years old and he is in his early thirties now, but you just KNOW he would never think of you the same way because one) he is older than you, two) he is literally the hottest guy around and could have ANY girl he wanted, and three) you would never even have the chance because you also happen to be the sister of the one tailed host? Not to mention that my fraternal twin brother has magical puppets that could kill you just from being fucking creepy. Yeah… that's me. Always admiring from afar. Always wondering what could be and what it be like to actually have someone like you back. 

"(Y/n), you're spacing again." Temari spoke as we ate our ramen. She was sitting next to her boyfriend, Shikamaru. She was so lucky. 

"Aug this is such a drag. Just talk to him." Shikamaru chimed in.

"And have my soul leave my body? Yeah, no thanks! I'd rather just think of the "what could be's" instead." I spoke, just barely above the whisper so the  person wouldn't overhear. "Besides, it's not like they like me back." I rested my chin in my hand and picked up noodles with my chopsticks just to let them fall back into the bowl.

"Come on now, this is just getting ridiculous. Just tell him! The worst he could do is say no." Temari tried again but I huffed, feeling thankful these were the only two in the whole world who knew about my secret crush.

"And then feel foolish and heartbroken? To feel like I could never show my face in the Hidden Leaf again? Once again, no thank you." The couple sighed but didn't press any farther. Finally, they gave up.' I sighed to myself before trying to finish my bowl of ramen.

The three of us finished our food and set about wandering the village. Not like we haven't been here tons of times. I'm not really sure why I tag along with Temari when she comes to visit Shika. Maybe it's because I just want to get out of Suna, get away from all the sand. Or maybe it's because I just want to see his face and torture myself with something I could never have. 

Temari and Shika were a few places ahead of me, talking and Temari giggling at something her lazy ass boyfriend said, a small smile gracing over his face as he looked at my sister. I couldn't help but space off and stare at them for a moment. They were so in love even if they didn't realize that they were yet. Out of all the guys my sister dated, he was definitely my favorite.

"Oh! Fuck!" I shouted as I bumped into something hard and fell backwards, landing hard on my ass. A small shriek leaving my lips as I fell. 

"Oh! I'm sorry." That voice… oh fuck that voice. I looked up to see a worried expression written all over his face. "I wasn't paying attention!" He stuck out his hand for me to grab and as I did so, a small blush graced my cheeks.

"O-oh, it's okay. I wasn't paying, um, I wasn't paying attention." I laughed nervously. A small smile and an expression of relief flooded his face.

"Neither was I. Sorry if I hurt you." 

"Nah, it's all good." I said, my head looking down, hands behind my back, kicking an invisible pebble away. The two of us didn't say anything for a moment, just kinda… awkward?  Yeah… awkward.

"Well, I should go. I'm meeting my team for training. Uh… see you." And he took off. I starred until he was no longer a speck in my sight of vision.

"That was so fucking painful, (y/n)." Temari groaned as she and Shikamaru walked over to me.

"Aug! I know! I just…. WHAT DO I DO?!" I Groaned, feeling so weird that I, a great sand ninja, can't even talk to the guy I like without sounding like a complete nerd. 

"Just talk to him." Shikarmu said, his voice bored with a hint of "I'm so done with this shit" tone in his voice. 

No one said anything after that, they knew I wouldn't talk to him. So, we continued on our merry way around the village. At the end of the day, Termaro decided she was going to stay at Shikamaru's place instead of the inn. With our goodbyes said, I headed towards the inn to silently cry to myself and maybe self pity eat more ramen. But as soon as the inn was in sight, I heard someone calling my name. Not just any voice though, his voice. That smooth, rough voice that could only be his. 

I turned around and there he was, in all his handsome glory. Perfect hair, contagious grin, beautiful eyes… amazing body. "(Y/n)!" He breathed out heavily. "I… I need your help!" I smiled at him.

"Sure! What's the problem?" I asked, keeping the blush that threatened to invade my face at bay.

"You see, there's this girl. She is super smart and really fucking gorgeous and I was wondering…. Could you please tell me what you would think would be the best way to ask her out?" He spoke, a stupid smile on his face and a small blush also dusting his perfectly sculpted cheek bones. My heart dropped to my stomach. He didn't like me. I fucking knew it! But that didn't stop the tears slowly making their way to my eyes. I blinked and took a deep breath.

"Well," I began, "I always imagined a guy coming up to me, holding a single purple flower. He would be all nervous and shy about it. He would just smile and say he liked me and wanted to take me out." I spoke honestly. Yeah, a bit cheesy, but it's cute! Fight me! He nodded in response and smiled.

"Thank you so much!" With that he took off. I turned and hurriedly went to my room. I literally just told the guy I liked how to ask a girl he liked how to ask her out the way I dreamed he would ask me out.. I should've just given him my dream wedding plans while I was at it! I flopped on the bed and gave a loud groan. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I should've just told him I liked him a while ago and MAYBE that would be me he was asking on a date.

I decided to get a shower, the long three day journey here and walking around all day left grimy and disgusting. I stripped off my clothes layer by sweaty layer and hopped in the shower. The water felt great running over my skin, I scrubbed away the dirt and washed my hair. I stepped out just in time to hear a knock on the door. I wrapped a towel around me, thinking it was Temari forgetting something. I walked to the door and opened it, only to see HIM standing there, holding a small purple flower. My eyes widened and I think my heart stopped beating for a moment.

"K...Kakashi?!" I squealed. He didn't say anything, his only visible eye wide as he looked at me. I looked down, forgetting for a moment that I was only in a fucking towel. I quickly closed the door just enough to hide behind it. "Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, trying to keep my nerves at bay.

"What? Oh! Um.. well…" he just handed out the small purple flower towards me and I swear I would have fainted right then and there. "This is… um… well… um…." He stumbled over his words and I swear my face was a dark crimson. "Would you maybe wanna go out to eat tomorrow?" He asked looking away. 

"Yes." I wasn't even sure if I spoke it or said it, I was so in shock this happened. Was I dreaming?

"Cool, well...bill see you tomorrow then!" He turned quickly and left before I got the chance to do anything else. I looked at the flower he gave me as I closed the door. 

After so long, I finally got the chance to go out with Kakashi! Temari would be happy and Shikamaru would finally get the chance to say I told you so. Only one more problem to be handled….. Kankauro and Gaara. 

[elizabeatrice]

Feeling Blue, Seeing Red (Chapter 69)

Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga #5

Updated: 19/8/2020 (more thoughts)

Bea is back with the lame punny titles~

Warning: !!! MANGA SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 69 !!! Duh.

Soooo I opened the raws this morning. Saw the spicy and went 'ohh shoot'. Then some of y'all say that some folks are hating Akane bc of this chap. I proceeded to panic, because fandom war is scary af. So I translated the chap for myself. And I just gotta say:

Aoi, Nene, your boyfriends are idiots. Y'all gonna be punching and headbutting the idiocy out of them for the rest of your lives and I'll be willing to pay for your karate classes.

The teen drama made me laugh so hard ahahahaha I guess this is what you get for hoping sensei will drop a bomb this month lmaoooo.

P.S. Teru you little shit

Man I don’t even know where to begin. This chapter is oozing doraaaaama and I can’t take it seriously no matter how much I try. I remember thinking, “Shoot, this is the ‘I hate you, I hate you too, proceed to make out’ trope in JSHK’s classic ‘oooh serious moment, eh? PSYCHE!’ style,” before bursting into laughter.

I swear I’m not making fun of it.

Because it’s already fun to begin with. Ahahahaha.

I do however, take seriously the long-awaited insight into Aoi’s mind. I hollered in joy, y’all. ‘Cause like ... finally!

(Also like ... ngl the development of Aoi and akaoi in this arc might come into play in my Shrek AU. Pls don’t ask. Yet. That’s not the official AU name I swear I just wanna confuse my readers ahahaha)

Back when chapter 64 came out I wrote something that was supposed to be the first of the Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga series but I ended up not posting it because I wasn’t sure about a bunch of things. Here’s an excerpt from that post, titled ‘Aoi and Her Blues’:

I mean, what did the minions do to her? ‘Remove unnecessary things’. Someone said they removed her inhibitions (I’m terribly sorry I forgot who said this because it’s been so long so I can’t put the link here, but if you know, feel free to send me the link).

But she has to be brainwashed, right?

She remembered enough about Nene. Enough to call her out on her feelings (that she still denies btw lol) and recognize Hanako from Nene’s wonderful description (or because Aoi could see him all this time and never said anything, who knows?).

Most importantly, she remembered Akane.

So apparently they weren’t unnecessary enough to be erased from her memory. Which I’d beg to differ if I were going to make this girl willingly sacrifice herself.

Would she let her best friend fall down into a pit full of giant insects, or let her childhood friend get impaled? I mean this is the same girl that cried when Akane and Yamabuki got together (by accident) and when Nene started talking to herself like a madwoman.

So yeah. Definitely brainwashed. Pretty sure now.

The one thing that bugged me is what she said though.

“I’ve always wanted to go somewhere far away.”

“Nothing will stop me from getting my wish.”

Btw these aren’t accurate word for word I’m just drawing from memory.

Is that a wish forced upon her by the brainwashing, or has Aoi been depressed all this time and ... y’know, therefore thought about ‘going far away’? I’m personally leaning more towards the first, but it still got me thinking.

Remember back in The Clock Keeper arc when she said there was something she wanted to tell Nene?

Can some creepy hands showing up in the gardening club’s album photos really warrant that kind of expression? Is it just me who got disappointed when the thing she wanted to tell Nene ended up being just that?

But if she did have such thoughts, why?

Maybe she was lonely? I mean Nene got so busy with supernatural shenanigans. Akane’s busy with student council stuff (and school wonder stuff). Though I don’t doubt for a second that he’d drop everything for Aoi, but Aoi’s not the kind of person to do that. And to be honest, I feel like so far Aoi hasn’t been shown having genuine interaction with anyone aside from Nene and Yamabuki without the other person being completely enamored by her. And even with Yamabuki that was just in that After School chapter.

So I guess my hunch wasn’t that far off. Still though. Still though. Is she or is she not brainwashed? Because as much as Aoi likes-but hates-but actually kinda likes Akane, I still don’t think she’s the type of person to stab her childhood friend until he’s got a hole through his fucking torso.

Throwing Nene into the bug pit I guess makes more sense if Aoi knew all along that the pit won’t lead anywhere too dangerous, and that Hanako wouldn’t leave Nene’s side. Nene’s perfectly safe with him. Sorta. She did get kidnapped and were about to be sacrificed after all. But heeey Hanako still showed up to save her in the end.

Stabbing Akane like that tho? Even if she knows he wouldn’t die in a boundary especially in his school wonder form? It just doesn’t feel like Aoi, man.

Then again she did say no one really knows her, and that anyone who does would end up being disappointed in her.

I’m really happy to know that she does not, in fact, appreciate all the attention given to her. Comedy framing aside, constantly having some random guy approach you to ask you out presumably every day is ... annoying at best. Kid deserves better.

So ya girl got some extreme trust issues. Strangers, even Akane and Nene, I could understand. But her dad tho? Is something going on in the Akane household? Bruh ....

How long has Aoi not been able to trust anyone enough to let them get close to her? Because if she’s been feeling like that about Nene all this time, Imma be super sad bruh. Nene is one of the most genuine kids ever (perhaps only second to Kou).

I understand that Aoi’s disappointed because Nene’s been keeping secrets, but honestly, who would believe you if you come up to them and say, “Hey so I summoned a toilet ghost and now I’m stuck as his assistant. The rumors about supernaturals are like, totally real, and can endanger everyone in this school for real, too. Also I turn into fish when I come in contact with water.”

Sensible best friends would either a) not believe you, or b) try to get you as far away from supernatural shit as possible ‘cause hello? Ya ain’t Miles Morales ya can’t just blast What’s Up Danger when monster of the week shows up.

Even if Aoi does let it continue, wouldn’t she wanna get involved? Would Nene let her get involved when Tsukasa’s still around? Ya girl got cursed, thrown off the top of a boundary, sent to literally nowhere and everywhere, almost got her body stolen by mirror monsters, kidnapped and taken into a fake world, and now trapped in literal Grim Reaper’s realm. Honestly, who would involve their best friend in this sort of shit?

It just makes me sad to think that all this time Akane and Nene have genuinely cared about her but she didn’t think they were. Aoi, my girl Nene literally threaded hell boundaries and high shallow water to save you!!!

Unrequited platonic love hurts just as much as romantic ones, y’all ....

Speaking of romantic love.

Hey, uh, Akane. For claiming to despise Hanako and calling him a slimy pervert, y’all kinda act the same way with your respective girlfriends when things get a bit heated up, huh? Even the teasing part.

Boy, you’re dumb af. You deserve that.

There it is y’all, it’s official. We got punches for akaoi and headbutts for hananene.

You deserve this too. But Teru’s face here is really annoying, I’ll give you that. Teru you little shit.

At least you’re finally gonna be useful. Let’s just see.

Hmm I guess I have to address the thing now.

Ahem. The thing. The pushing (pulling?) Aoi down, grabbing her neck thing.

Yeah I don’t get it either. Whether it was a creative choice taken in consideration to the actual character’s state or to just pander to the trope that seems to be marketable in Japan or both, I don’t really know.

I do however, have to remind you that none of these kids are in their right mind. One is possibly still recovering from the effects of brainwashing and dealing with not only extreme trust issues and insecurities, but also the sight of a gaping hole on her childhood friend and perhaps crush’s torso, not to mention having to deal with this in the middle of nowhere. The other one is the said person with a gaping hole on his torso, who almost lost his life-long crush, and even got stabbed by her in the first place.

They’re lost. They’re tired. They’re emotional. They’re frustrated. They’re two hormonal teens.

I think Akane thought Aoi wouldn’t listen to him unless he makes her. Which is why he went with exposing her by saying he hated her. Which is still a dumb move in my opinion. But Aoi rightfully got back at him. And honestly I didn’t think he really hurt her. I mean, it’s Akane after all. *shrugs*

The way I see it, the entire thing was a result from not only their current condition but also the uh ... not telling each other how they really feel all this time. Aoi with her issues, Akane with his secrets. They’re a ticking bomb. It’s horrible that they ended up hurting each other because of this (physically and emotionally), but I could see why it went like this. These two are flawed. Most importantly, they’re teenagers. They’re bound to fuck up in this equation.

Heck, I’ve fucked up worse in less endangering situations before.

But heeey once things get cleared between them they fall right back to each other. Sure things aren’t entirely resolved. But they’re gonna be okay. Teru’s there. Should be fine. Probably.

The thing is we as the audience who come into the story with a clear head can easily figure out the best, most sensible way to deal with the characters’ problems. But these problems affect the characters in (physical, physiological, psychological, emotional) ways most of us can’t immediately empathize with, which can make their bad decisions frustrating for us to see. We know it’s wrong. And when these characters have calmed down and healed, they’ll know that it’s wrong, too. If they’re not dicks, that is.

You know how it feels when you’re fighting with someone, and you know the best thing to do is to talk it out, but you just can’t bring yourself to? It makes things worse, right? And you’re frustrated, right? Unfortunately that’s just how humans are.

Even I let my emotions get the best of me when I judged the villagers’ actions back in chapter 68 hahaha (but I still think they’re awful).

It’s just my opinion tho.

And whooo everyone is officially here but Yamabuki (and Sakura and Tsukasa, but they’re bound to show up)! Catch up soon, my citrus child.

Lastly, I have the moral obligation to remind you that if akaoi’s confrontation ended up like this, imagine how hananene’s would be.

I’ll leave you to your deductions.

As always, feel free to discuss. Just ... don’t fight, onegaishimasu.

[kpopforthe-truefans20]

M.I.N.E ch. 9

( I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF CREDITS TO OWNER)

SUMMARY:Y/N was looking for a change in her life. so she moved to Korea with her best friends. She was a makeup artist and her friend, while taking all her makeup photos, put together a portfolio and sent it to Big Hit. Where Hoseok saw her and just had to make her his.Will he make it happen?

WARNINGS: kissing, making out, dry humping, dom hoseok????

A/N: Hello loves. we are almost there I PROMISE you the next chapter will definitely have smut. I SWEAR I know this was a long build up but there is a reason I swear!!! Also happy birthday to me!!! its my 20th and I’m excited to do absolutely nothing and just enjoy a relaxing day to myself. Enjoy loves.

These are text message conversations btw. Yousr= hoseok Mine= y/n

Y/N POV

Yours 

-Y/n I will be over to pick you up in 10 minutes. Pack an overnight bag because I don't plan on bringing you home tonight.

Mine 

-Wait, we have work in the morning !!

-HOSEOK?

-How will I get to work??

-Hoseok????

Yours 

-Don't worry about it Y/n. Just listen and pack a bag.

Reading Hoseok messages over and over again just made you nervous. He wanted you to pack a bag to stay the night? The other day while doing his makeup he told you y'all would watch a movie and get food. Nothing about you staying the night. 

"What does he have planned?"

Pushing all your thoughts to the back of your mind you just packed an outfit for the night and the next work day and put in some stuff to do a quick makeup look in the morning. 

Checking over everything again to make sure you had everything you would need for the night. Zipping up your bag to go to the living room to wait for Hoseok to pick you up. Just as you were about to sit down you heard a knock on the door. 

Walking over to open the door knowing who it was you gave him a small smile and turned around to grab your bag before leaving out the door with him and locking it. 

"Did you pack everything you need Y/n?"

"Yes I did."

"Good. Let me carry this for you."

Taking your bag off your shoulder he put his arms around your waist and led you to the car opening the door for you. Quickly putting your bag in the backseat and walking around to get in. He started up the car and drove off. 

"So. Y/n."

"Yes?"

"I need you to decide if you wanted me to cook for you or eat out? We can watch a movie back at my place."

"Mmm~ how about we get takeout and watch a movie."

"Whatever you want to do we can do."

You looked over at Hoseok. He was focused on the road. He looked so good driving. As you 're watching him he quickly looked over at you to see you looking at him, then he let out a small chuckle. 

"What's on your mind Baby girl?"

Hearing him call you the pet name pulled you out of your trance. The name making your face heat up. Turning to look back out the window. You took a second to think.

"N-nothing. But, I do have a question."

"Sure ask me whatever you want."

"Why did you make me pack a bag if  all we are doing is watching a movie and having dinner?"

Hoseok looked over at you and smirked. Then he took one hand off the wheel and put it on your thigh. 

"Don't worry baby girl. You will see soon enough. Plus it's just in case you don't have the energy to walk back to the car."

Feeling the heat from Hoseok's hand on your thigh sent chills through your whole body. Even making your core burn with the way he said the words so smooth and how his voice got lower. Feeling your face heat up again you turned back to look out the window.

After a few minutes of driving around you guys finally found a place you both wanted to eat at and order the food to take back to Hoseok apartment. 

As always Hoseok got out first and grabbed your bag and the food out the back seat then walked around to open the door for you. Once you stepped out he closed your door and grabbed your hand. Walking into the building he pulled you along with him to the elevator. Going up to his floor he let you step out first quickly following after you. 

"Apartment 3360"

Looking at each door to find the right one you finally found it in the middle of the hall. Stopping in front of the door you turned around to face Hoseok. 

He reached into his pocket to pull out his keys and unlocked the door. Opening the door he stepped to the side and let you in. He gave you a small smile before you walked in him following after and closing the door. The apartment wasn't too big. You could see the kitchen from the living room with an island separating the living room from it. Then there was a hallway with three doors. 

Hoseok walked to the kitchen to set the food on the counter. Then he walked towards you and grabbed your hand before softly speaking 

"Follow me."

Nodding your head you let him lead you down the hall. He opened the door to his room and pulled you in. 

"This is my room. Right across is the bathroom." 

"Okay. What in the other room?"

Hoseok put your bag down and turned around to face you. He looked at you with a serious expression. 

"Just don't go into that room until I give you permission. Okay?"

You quickly nodded your head before you responded.

"O-okay. I won't"

"Good girl. Now let's go eat."

After eating, talking and laughing you and Hoseok were now sitting on the couch watching a movie. It was a random movie that looked interesting to watch. 

You were laying on Hoseok's shoulder and he had his arm around your waist with his hand resting on your thigh. You were supposed to be watching the movie but your mind kept going back to what Hoseok told you in the car. 

"Don't worry baby girl. You will see soon enough. Plus it's just in case you don't have the energy to walk back to the car."

The thought was driving you crazy. Your mind going back and forth from what he said to the dream you had a few weeks ago. Then Hoseok moved his hand up slightly higher on your thigh. The warmth sending chills through your body. Making it even harder to focus on the move. 

HOSEOK POV 

Staying focused on this movie was the hardest this I have ever had to do. I want to take it farther with y/n but I don't want to push her if she's not ready. But I keep seeing her look at me every so often from the corner of my eye. Then she just keeps shifting around moving closer to me. The warmth of her body driving me crazy with every passing second. The only thing on my mind is her and it's getting hard to control myself. Just the way she looks at me  and her smile and her laugh makes me weak. The only thing I want more than to make her laugh is to make her scream my name. 

"Uhm Hoseok?"

As soon as she said my name so softly and quiet it made me want to make her say it louder. 

"Yes Y/n" 

I looked over at her and the way her eyes were looking into mine made me want to see them in a different light. 

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick."

"Do you want me to pause the movie for you?"

"N-no that's okay. I'll be quick."

"Okay."

I took my hand from around her and watched her walk to the bathroom. Once she's gone I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Her skin is so soft against mine. So smooth and beautiful. It would just be even better if I could mark up her body and make her mine. Just thinking about how she would react to my touch makes me hard. Makes it harder to keep my mind on the movie. 

I was so focused on the thoughts in my head I didn't even hear the door to the bathroom open and her coming out until she sat back down. Moving even closer to me then she was before. I quickly put my arm back around her. Placing my hand back onto her thigh knowing it drives her crazy just from the light sigh she lets out every time I do it. I looked over at her and noticed how focused she is on the movie but the only thing going through my mind is her. 

I need her.

I want her.

"Y/n"

The way she looks up at me is like heaven. I couldn't help myself but to kiss her. 

Y/N POV

"Y/n"

I looked up at him to see him staring at me with a dark look in his eyes. Then I see him slowly move forward and close in the space between us. Hoseok has kissed me before. But not like this. This kiss was needy. It was slower. His hand moved from my thigh to my waist pulling me in closer to him as if the space between us couldn't get any closer pulling me on top of his lap. I quickly responded to the kiss. Wrapping my arms around his neck and running my fingers through his soft hair. 

He licked my bottom lip asking for entrance and I let him. Wanting to feel as much of him as I could. His hands were on my waist holding me tight. I could feel his member getting hard under me. Wanting more from him, I started slowly rocking my hips against him. Getting a low moan from him. He deepened the kiss. This one more like the ones he would give me when we would make out. More needy than the one before and I wanted more. 

I needed more. 

I kept rocking my hips against his trying to get more friction than what I was getting. His grip on my waist tighter. Then he bit my bottom lip and I could help but let out a small whimper. Then he pulled away from the kiss. His face was flushed and he was trying to catch his breath holding me in place so I couldn't move more. 

HOSEOK POV 

I kissed her and she instantly responded to the kiss. I pulled her onto my lap needing to have her closer to me. As close I could possibly have her. I need more of her. My hands were on her waist and her hands were in my hair lightly pulling on it making it harder to control myself. I wanted to take things slow but I was dying to have her under my touch. Then she started moving her hips against mine and I couldn't help but let out a low moan. The friction driving me crazy and wanting her more. I deepened the kiss trying to taste more of her. Trying to gain as much control over myself as I could I gripped her waist tighter. But that didn't help settle my craving to have more of her. I bit her bottom lip and she let out a small whimper and I need to hear more from her. I wanted to make her moan and scream for me. I pulled away from the kiss to catch my breath before saying anything. 

"Y/n"

"Yes..."

Her face was flushed and her lips were red and swollen from the kiss. 

"I want more of you. But I want to know if you're okay with taking it further with me."

She nodded her head yes but it wasn't enough. I need to hear her say the words. 

"Use your words baby girl. I need to hear it out loud."

"Y-yes. I'm okay with taking it further. I-I want m-more too."

That was all I needed to hear her say.