#also my sister is always making fun of me and telling me i smell bad because i shower like twice a week

[evilmagician430]

personally i think, just like it's important for any given person to be in touch with their "feminine" side, i also think it's important for everyone to be in touch with their "masculine" side. nobody is 100% stereotypically masculine or feminine. even the girly girls each have some sort of quirk that's considered traditionally masculine, and even the most manly men have some traditionally feminine traits. the sooner you realize this the sooner; not just for the wellbeing of others but also for yourself and allowing yourself to discover hobbies and interests you enjoy and getting rid of any shame you have over habits that don't fall into the "masc" or "fem" image you've curated. be yourself be unique be a monster

[2knightt]

「 you the cutest jailbird i ever did see!」

IN WHICH—you’re literally mickey milkovich!♡ ໋֢ 👒✧

🍵ヾFT. THE GREASERS࿐ྀུ ♡

⌗ 👒 notes !𖥔༌ ᰷ ﹅ this is platonic. and if you haven’t seen shameless just imagine a modern, stinky dallas. also MARRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!!!

you met them while running from the cops. sure—it was completely your fault and you do deserve to be thrown into the cooler. but you just got out! can’t a person want just a few more minutes of peace?

as soon as you heard those sirens, you jumped off the guys you and your cousins were jumping and just started running. those two idiots already got caught, you just kept on running.

you heard that the curtis house doesn’t ever lock their door—stupid. you’d never do that, not when people like you run around this city!

the sirens got closer, and without thinking, you jumped their fence. as your feet touched the ground, you hoped to god that they weren’t home. or that dallas winston wasn’t there.

you rushed to the door, swinging in open before hiding beside their couch that sat in front of the window. peeking your head up, you watched as the cop car slowed down before speeding back off.

a grin grew on your face as you watched the cops go in the other direction.

“fuckin’ idiots.”

“wow, y/n getting chased by the cops. what is it, the 30th time this week?”

you’ve had unfortunate run-ins with dallas. but you thought his voice was more annoying now than when you and your cousins jumped him for trying to hit on your sister.

you’d recognize that disgusting new york accent from anywhere. you sighed, turning your head to face him as he stood above you, hands in his jean pockets.

dallas had a stupid grin on his face as who, you think is soda, comes rushing beside him. his eyes showed worry, but his grin made him look interested in you.

“shoot, what happened to you?”

“soda—this is y/n. what ain’t they done is a better question.”

you rolled your eyes, holding back from socking him in the jaw. you turned your head to face soda, standing up from your position. rubbing your neck, you hung your head low.

“tough shit, man. bunch of assholes—you know.”

suddenly, someone with cake smeared all over his fingers and who smelled like oil popped up out of nowhere. ‘steve’ was written on the chest of his ripped up work uniform.

“that can mean a lotta things. what kinda tough shit?”

‘jesus, the curtis group asks a lot of questions.’ you thought to yourself, a lip raised. dallas kicked the leg of the couch beside you, causing you to whip your head up after avoiding eye contact. sodapop smacked dallas’ shoulder, telling him off.

“answer ‘em, y/n.”

dallas demanded, saying your name is a singing tone.

“…me and my cousin’s has jumped a guy. it ain’t nothin’ bad like stabbing a kid with a blade.”

you mumbled, dusting yourself off, you heard snickers leave steve and soda’s throats. soda grinned, ear to ear as he ushered you to sit down at a table. as he did so—he kept on asking you a bunch of jumbled questions due to how fast he’s talking.

four boys sat there, staring at the situation that had just unfolded. they both looked younger than everyone else did, the two older ones standing out like sore thumbs. one was finishing his plate, the other one downing a bottle of beer.

soda sat you down, steve rushing behind the both of you. either of them sat beside you, smiles on their face.

“what’d the guy do?”

“did you beat ‘em black and blue?”

“what’d you use?”

with that, you found yourself hanging around the two of them more. sodapop and steve found your company fun. sure, you were like dallas, but different in so many ways.

you were so comforting to be around, yet you always had a scowl. they loved having you around, causing the gang to hang out with you too.

you honestly became a reoccurring person in the gang—to the point where people would ask where you were if you weren’t around them.

you’d just walk into the curtis house and make yourself comfortable. your house wasn’t exactly the definition of ‘ideal.’ the old man wasn’t the kindest to you, your sister—or anyone for that matter.

he’d frequently take his anger out on you and smack you ‘til you’re every colour under the sun after he heard you’d been foolin’ around with some chum around the block. it wasn’t even true—but your cries always fell to deaf ears when it came to that alcoholic.

it’s not like it was a secret either. every person on the east side could hear the arguing from your house—even the front door slam shut. that’s when the people would know you’d be huddled up on the curtis’ couch.

“y/n—breakfast.”

soda’d nudge you gently—talking in a hushed voice. the smell of bacon filled your nostrils, a sigh leaving your lips as it hit you that he was the one cooking. you aren’t exactly the biggest fan of his rather odd choices of how he makes his food.

but goddamnit you can fake it for him. if you can lie to the cops, you can lie to one of your greatest friends.

just like how you can lie to the investigators trying to find dallas winston.

“you know this kid?”

“never seen ‘em in my life. lay off now, assholes.”

you’d mumble, walking past them, making sure you hit their shoulders as hard as you could. you always got a kick out of hurting those pigs as you’d call ‘em.

which is what caused dallas winston goin’ MIA. you had seen dallas winston getting knocked down by the police after a long chase.

even though you can’t stand that new yorkian—you do love fighting. you tried to walk as quietly as you could up to them before making yourself known.

“hey, man!”

you shouted, causing their heads to turn. when they saw you—their eyes immediately flashed a look of hatred. they obviously knew who you were, and if they didn’t know, they’d know after you socked one in the jaw.

all attention on dallas turned to you—all of them going after you. until dallas also landed a clean hit on one. with the impact of the officer falling on the ground—your feet started moving on your own.

you cackled, hearing dallas laugh along with you, running beside you. the rush that washed over you two was indescribable—the adrenaline was great.

this isn’t the first time you’ve been on the run, and it’s not like you haven’t been caught. one time you got caught—your bail was low. but too high for you. you were offered one call and the first person that came to mind would surely rip off your head.

‘worth a shot,’ you thought to yourself, dialling the numbers with the phone to your ear, a cop hovering over you.

“hello?”

“darrel? it’s y/n.”

“goddammit, y/n. what the hell did you do this time?”

“nothin’! i-i just need you to come and bail me. it’s only 50 cents, darry.”

“you’re never gonna hear the end of it, you damned jail bird. i’ll be there soon.”

with that—you heard a click on the end of the line. you wanted to defend yourself, but hearing him call you a jail bird gave you more pride than you’ve felt in a long time.

of course, when he did bail you out, any feeling you had of pride evaporated. as soon as you entered the backseat, you could feel the rage from darry.

“what the hell did you do? it’s 11PM. ponyboy and soda’s in bed—and i was getting ready! 11PM, y/n!”

“holy fuck, darry! stop acting like i killed a guy! it was just a grab n’ run!”

“y/n—is it too hard to ask that you try to stay safe? just once, that’s all i ask!”

“oh my god, darry! you aren’t my fucking father!”

“guess what’s happening. you’re coming to my house and spending the nights there. the second i hear that you’re runnin’ from the cops i’m contesting against you in court!”

the rest of the ride was in silence, it being broken up by the occasional blinker. when he pulled onto the side of the road, parking his truck in front of the house, you sat there.

stubborn is what people thought of you—and you sure as hell were. darry got out, expecting you to follow. he stood in front of the gate, arms crossed as you stared off into space.

the door opened—darry quickly grabbing you. he carried you like a baby, against your very loud protests.

soda opened the door, snickering as he sees the situation you’re in. ponyboy was sitting on darrys chair, playing with the tab of a pepsi can. once he seen darry step in, you in arms, he shot up from where he sat.

“where were you? what happened?”

“yeah, jail bird. what happened?”

you heard the two younger brothers ask, one sounding more mocking than the other. darry placed you on the couch, swiftly throwing a blanket over you.

you’d been in this situation before, the memories flooding back to you as you felt yourself drift off into sleep.

expect you weren’t the one being carried. you had carried johnny from the lot, put him on your back. it was a few days after he’d been jumped real bad.

you were out of the loop when it came to who jumped who. you seen johnny asleep in the lot. dried blood on his jacket and face. bruises were everywhere on his body. you felt bad.

you always liked johnnycakes. he understood you in a way. as you carried him on your back—you could only thing of the similarities between you two.

you both had rough home lives, you both always found yourself trying to keep everything together. he used to be so tough but turned quiet—you had always been tough and never expected to change.

lost in your thoughts—you got to the curtis house faster than expected. you quietly walked up the stairs, opening the door, avoiding the creaky floorboards.

you placed johnny on the couch, taking a silent vow to beat whoever did this to him even worse.

and you always kept your word.

robert sheldon was the guy you and your cousins had tracked down, bats and other weapons in hand. if he can use those thick gold rings—you can use your bat. fair game, right?

you caught him, drunk on the streets, and stupidly alone. your cousins beat up ford slowed down beside him—making it a repeat of what he’d do to others.

he took notice—stumbling as he turned his head. your own small gang took notice to this, stopping the car before jumping out.

you guys had beaten him to the point where he looked just like johnny. you kept your word, and you wouldn’t let anyone ever touch johnny like that.

you always hated soc’s. you’d do anything to do annoy ‘em. even if it meant stealing their mustangs, you always liked them anyhow.

steve always talked about how he’d do anything to drive a tuff car like that. everytime he seen one, that’s all he talked about.

“imagine drivin’ a car like that. could you imagine how fast i could go?”

you’d learn how to hot wire at a young age, rarely ever did it though. but when you seen a wine coloured mustang left unattended—you knew you had an opportunity.

it wasn’t hard to get it going, and it wasn’t hard to drive it to the DX without getting caught. steve was working in the hood of an old car outside until he heard a honk.

a grin grew on his face as he seen you in the drivers sear of the car, a smug look on your face. steve practically skipped as he rushed towards the vehicle, tapping the hood as he took a closer look.

as he was nothing less than mesmerized—you hopped out of the car. steve looked up at you from his crouched position before you threw the keys at him, walking towards the passenger seat.

steve immediately put two and two together, jumping into the car without a second thought.

you swore you ain’t never seen steve so happy when he was speeding down the road in this mustang. he never asked where you got it—and you never told him.

you and ponyboy were alright. he didn’t like being around you for long periods of time. on the other hand—you absolutely loved it.

you could tease him until the sun went down for everything and anything.

“what the hell are you wearin’, pony?”

“a shirt?”

“sure as hell don’t look like one.”

you’d ruffle his greased up hair, going against his complains. you’d mock his books and movies, mimicking what they just said in a higher voice. ponyboy always disliked this. he didn’t hate it however. a small part of him knew that’s how you showed affection.

but he never knew you could be so gentle when you felt like it—that he really, really liked. one day, when school was out and everyone was doing their own thing, ponyboy sat at home.

he was reading a book with the tv as background noise. until you barged through the door, beelining for the fridge. you got a beer, closing the door. you took a sear in darry’s chair, watching TV.

ponyboy wondered if you noticed he was even home. when he seen you enter—he felt insecure. you were the definition of a greaser—he was…just some guy that so happened to have grease in his hair.

you realized he stopped reading, his eyes everywhere but his book. sighing, you got up and sat beside him on the couch. you took one more swig of the beer before you told him to read out loud.

“read to me.”

“wh-huh?”

“the TV’s borin’. read.”

with that, he did. the longer ponyboy read, the more relaxed he became. of course—you looked like you wanted to rip your own head off—but ponyboy did like the fact you immersed yourself into the story.

“she fucking what?”

“yeah! crazy, right?”

“crazy’s an understatement, man.”

‘crazy’ is what people would call you and two-bit. people would’ve never willingly put the two of you in a room, but you two got along swimmingly.

he was loud, sometimes clingy, and always joking around. you really needed someone like him in your life. a breath of fresh air—until the two of you would compete.

“let’s see who can steal the most stuff without gettin’ caught.”

was a sentence often said between the two of you. a little fun never hurt nobody, right? two-bit seemed like the expert at stealing, and you just liked to break the law.

the longest it went on was for a week. you tot caught first and you have yet to live it down.

“so god fuckin’ help me—i will gauge your eyeballs out with this fucking fork!”

“yeah but, i’ll die knowin’ that i was able to steal without gettin’ BANNED!”

two-bit later had a bruise on his ribs.

you’ve never been one to stay in a group of people. but staying with these people—it was different in so many ways.

you knew they wanted you here, they knew you loved them and that you knew that they loved you too. and unfamiliar feeling sure—but a welcomed feeling.

you argued, fought, and even fist fought each other. but goddamnit, you all moved past it. and that’s all you could ask for in this little life. even if your life is mostly you sitting in a prison.

[aachria]

I have MANY things to say about chapter 96 so this is gonna be long-ish but you deserve every word of praise I'm about to type so buckle the fuckle up.

First of all, the dance scene with Usopp and then Luffy? Great, spectacular, outstanding, the way Ed understands Luffy so well like THAT is my otp and I am so fucking proud of them.

SECOND OF ALL. SANJI. Not only do you give that boy a scene tackling his bisexual (gay?) awakening but also a little platonic smooch that he so desperately needed? And then you give us ART of that scene? It feels so good but also I'm crying. Side note, Sanji definitely smokes Pall Malls, I can smell them from here.

Third of all, you write Brook so, so well. All I could get from him talking about Yorkie was that those two were SO attached to each other and Brook sees so much of himself AND Yorkie in Ed and wants to make sure they're happy so so bad. I want to be him when I grow up.

And that Nami scene. *chef's kiss* magnificent. Ed may have left a sister behind when that Honda Civic hip checked them into a different reality but they definitely got a new one in Nami.

Anyway that's all I had to say, congrats on Ed being compared to the legend himself Jeremiah Cross, toodles

Buckle the fuckle up is, respectfully, fucking hilarious.

I LOVE ED AND LUFFY. They are two halves of the same idiot with complete opposite types of smart. They round each other off but also make each other stupider, 10/10 dynamic.

I struggled immense with drawing that kiss let me tell you. But like goddamnit I wanted art of it so I was damn well gonna fight through making it. Sidenote I’m a full supporter of the bi Sanji agenda. Just fyi.

I honestly didn’t think I’d have near as much fun writing Brook as I do. He is the silly old grandpa who is also your bestie you visit in the nursing home. I try to balance that with the off putting shit every so often because yes you SHOULD remember that’s a cryptid. I don’t think Yorkie gets the hype he deserves in canon, that mf was ride or (literally) die ok put some respect on his name. Just a music lovin guy livin his life.

As always absolutely adore Nami and her and Ed are such a special duo.

Thank you bestie xoxo

[bellysoupset]

Okay so this is what I thought of while reading the interactions with the kids.

I just remembered that Vince is lactose intolerant, right? So how would you feel about lactose intolerant Vince with (reluctant) caretaker Max for a change?

I mean I can imagine maybe a class party or something with a kid wanting to make sure that Mr. Monacelli (or Mr. Mo because that is freaking cute) is having fun too, so they keep bringing him snacks.

I can totally see Vin accepting anything and everything from a kid with doe eyes and not having any way to refuse because the kid is watching him and wants to see Vin eat it. (Let's be honest, Vince would never even speak up because he wouldn't want to hurt their feelings).

After that Vin is feeling gradually sicker and sicker until Max can't keep ignoring him anymore, so Vin has to spill the tea.

Then Max is like "why did you even accept?" While Vin, slightly offended, is like "did you really expect me to say no to that kid?"

I know it's really detailed, feel free to ignore it, I just couldn't get this little scenario out of my head.

- 💜

💜! I hope you like this one, I slightly twisted it and it's a little different from my usual... So let me know what you think!

--------------------

Max frowned, leaning on the doorway of the kindergarten. His hands were full with a large tupperware with baking soda, food coloring and vinegar, the usual science fair volcano mix. 

What caused him to pause, though, was the sight inside the classroom. Mr. Monacelli, or Mr. Mo to the little ones, was standing, with a kid on his hip, a little girl… Livia, judging by how comfortable he seemed to be as he held her. 

Liv’s dark wavy hair was up pigtails and she had face paint on, the tip of her nose painted black and whiskers on her cheek, a matching look that was mirrored on the other children. Cats, the Musical, kindergarten version? Max thought with a snort.

Vince also had face paint on and he was chewing something Livia had just pushed inside his mouth, out of a box. Across the room Max noticed a tall chocolate cake, with a glittery candle that said 7 on top.

That explained it. 

Birthday parties were always the bane of his existence, so he was incredibly glad he barely taught kindergarten and the older kids would rather die than celebrate in class. As far as he could remember it, he had bad experiences under his belt. From his mom trying to throw him a fully vegan party that had been a flop with him and his friends, to his father getting drunk and forgetting about his birthday altogether, to the fact once he turned eighteen his birthday all but disappeared as celebratory day. 

“Mr. Mo,” a kid ran across the room, with glitter face paint all the way to his scalp. Max snorted at the sight, the parents surely would be over the moon about that, “tell Jess she can’t play with my toy.”

Vince frowned, crouching down to look at the little boy and Max frowned, staring at the scene. He couldn’t figure out this dude. Monacelli gave off military vibes. Football star, with his little homophobic fit the other day, driving that ridiculous motorcycle everywhere… And there he was, covered in glittery paint, scolding a boy for not sharing his toys and being fed cake pops by his little sister and her group of friends.

It just didn’t make any sense.

“Daniels, do you need anything?” 

Max’s cheeks burned as he realized he had been caught staring and he shook his head, as five little heads looked at him, as well as Vince. 

“No, just passing by.”

“Alright,” Vince waved him off, taking the boy’s hand and dragging him across the room to apologize.

It was a couple hours later when they met again. Max was smelling like bleach, after finishing up a biology class with the 10th graders, and ready to head home as he entered the staff’s lounge to retrieve his bag. He raised his eyebrows as he found Monacelli sitting on one of the couches, in the furthest corner, with his arms crossed to his chest and his head tipped back, as if he was asleep.

“Hey,” Max kicked Vince’s foot to wake him in case he was asleep, “day’s over.”

Vince wasn’t asleep — or maybe he was a really quiet sleeper? —  because he sat up straight with a groan, moving his arms to wrap around his stomach, “what do you want?”

Max frowned at the lackluster response, so unlike the man who always seemed to have his energy up, “school’s over, are you planning on crashing here? Maurice is gonna be locking this room soon.”

Vince let out a sigh, using the couch to push himself up and the other man realized he was a horrible shade of white… Damn near green.

“You look horrible,” Max said, taking a step back as he noticed Vince swaying slightly on his feet. Instead of denying, Vince simply nodded, bringing up a shaky hand to wipe the sweat off his brow. 

“Yeah, I know-” he interrupted himself with a soft, sickly burp. He didn’t bother finishing his sentence, ceasing every movement as he gulped down, only to let out another little burp and a groan.

“What’s wrong with you?” Max eyed him suspiciously. There was no way this man had caught another stomach bug after measly five weeks of having one, right? 

Vince pressed his forehead to the metal locker in the teacher’s lounge, seemingly devoid of any energy to put in his combination and retrieve his bag. Most teachers didn’t even put in a combination, everyone used the standard 0000. 

“Monacelli,” he stepped closer, despite wanting nothing to do with illness or this guy. It was just unnerving. 

“I’m fine,” Vince breathed out, but it would have been a lot more convincing if he wasn’t swallowing in convulsively and clutching his stomach. Stomach, which by the way, was pressing against his work polo. The guy wasn’t small by any means and Max could’ve told he had a tummy to begin with, but now it was nearly poking out. 

“Yeah, you look terrific,” Max rolled his eyes, walking to retrieve his own bag and deciding he was done with the whole scene, “feel better-”

He never quite finished his sentence, before Vince let out a little strangled noise and then rushed across the room, to the teacher’s bathroom. He slammed the door behind him and Max cringed in sympathy as he heard a muffled groan. 

Now he couldn’t just leave the idiot, right? Not after he had driven him home? 

Max carefully walked closer, tapping his knuckles against the door, “Monacelli, do you need anything? Meds? The nurse? Your mom?”

He expected to hear Vince telling him to go fuck himself, but instead there was a noise of liquid hitting liquid, followed by retching and more liquid.

Shit. Perhaps, even, literally. 

Max chewed on his lip, looking around the room helplessly as if an older adult would appear and take over the situation, but he sadly was the only adult. He looked at his watch. 3:40 PM. Office hours were over, the janitor and the security would soon be finishing their rounds and closing up the school.

“Dude,” he sighed, knocking again, “you kinda need to leave, they’re gonna lock us here.”

“Go away…” Vince groaned, his voice raspy and choked up.

Max scoffed, “are you crying?” really? “Mona-”

“I said, go away,” Vince repeated, much harsher now and Max’s mouth snapped shut, his cheeks heating up as his temper got the best of him. 

“Fine,” he said bitterly,loudly walking away,  “drown there, see if I care.”

Sadly, much to Max’s displeasure, he had a guilty conscience and couldn’t make it even to the parking lot. He let out a sigh and glared at the now empty parking lot. Only four vehicles left, one of them being Vince’s stupid motorcycle. 

There was no way the man could go home in a fucking bike.

“Moron,” Max groaned, walking back inside. He fully expected to find Vince back in the teacher’s lounge, so it was much to his surprise when they ran into each other in the hallway. Or rather, he ran, because Vince was frozen in place, an arm wrapped tightly around his belly and breathing through the nausea carefully. 

“Oh there you are-”

“Thought I told you to leave,” Vince groaned, not looking up from the spot in the linoleum he was staring at, trying to keep his stomach in check, “careful, or I’ll believe you give a shit.”

“Fever must be through the roof, you’re delusional,” Max snarked, curiosity getting the best of him as he stepped closer and raised a hand to touch Vince’s forehead. 

Monacelli was much taller, and bigger, so when he pushed Max’s hand away with an impatient huff, the other teacher stumbled on his feet.

“I don’t have a fever,” Vince scoffed, straightening up. He looked worse, more green and more drenched in sweat, “I’m lactose intolerant and I ate- I ate half a chocolate cake…” his gut let out an upset, whiny gurgle that was loud enough for Max to hear.

The blonde stared at him for a second, before cackling “are you fucking with me!?”

When he didn’t get an answer, except for Vince’s cheek ballooning with yet another burp that he muffled with a fist, Max’s laughter lessened down to a chuckle, his shoulders shaking, “oh… You’re serious? You’re in this shape because of some chocolate?”

He really was the one to judge, Max thought with a snort, remembering he’d be hurling much sooner if he ate half a chocolate cake. But then again, he wouldn’t be stumbling around cradling his tummy and whining. 

“What do you want, Daniels?” Vince groaned, rubbing a hand over his face, “I don’t fucking get you. I helped you, not once, not twice, but three times by now, and you’re still a dick.” 

Max’s chuckle died immediately, his cheeks burning, “sorry, should I’ve been bowing and kissing your feet? What do you want, cuddles and kisses because your tummy hurts?”

Vince raised an unimpressed eyebrow, “I’m really sorry you weren’t hugged enough as a child,” he said coldly, “but yeah, actually, I do have people who take care of me when I feel ill, because I’m not a fucking jackass.”

“Says you,” Max snorted, rolling his eyes and gesturing to the empty hallway, “where’s the queue to cuddle you? I don’t see it.”

“I know what your problem with me is,” Vince scoffed, pressing his back to the wall behind him and huffing. He was shaking, which was not a good sign and Max bit down the urge to ask if the guy was okay.

“Enlighten me,” he said instead and Vince folded in half, planting his hands on his knees and breathing through a cramp.

“You’re jealous,” he said through his teeth and Max glared daggers at him, his stomach dropping to his feet. 

He wasn’t jealous, he was… He just didn’t think Vince was anything special. Surely he was allowed this opinion? 

For example, if Vince was so great, why was he about to hurl all over the floor that Maurice had probably already cleaned? That was asshole behavior. 

Max mentally patted himself on the back, before saying loudly, “here, Mr. Moron, don’t hurl all over the floor,” and pushing a garbage bin in front of the guy. He didn’t expect Vince to make immediate use of it, falling to his knees and grabbing the metal bin with his hands, hugging it to his chest as a huge gush of projectile vomit fell inside of it.

He jumped back, startled, then tip-toed closer, feeling a new shade of shitty as he heard Vince let out a whimper and bury his head in, burping wetly once more and continuing to convulse and cough. 

“If you’re such hot shit, why didn’t you not eat the thing you’re aware makes you super ill?” Max asked, mostly to himself, hesitantly moving closer to plant a hand in the middle of the guy’s back. Even down on his knees, Vince was still pretty freaking tall.

Max patted his back in a hesitant manner, then cringed as he heard footsteps down the hallway. Curse both their lucks, Vince’s because he was about to be caught hurling his brains out, and Max’s because now he’d have to look out for the prick. 

He braced for Fernanda, the principal, or Maurice, the janitor, but raised his brows as the person who rounded the corner was no one he knew. The man was well into his mid fifties or early sixties, with wavy light brown hair and blue eyes… And he was really tall.

Max cringed as suddenly he realized he knew Mr. Monacelli from parent-teacher meetings and that the old guy would be expecting him to act like a lovable guy, the same lovable teacher he was when talking about Sophia or Livia. Fuck.

“Mr. Mona-”

“Dad,” Vince croaked, lifting his head for a slight second, “fuck- Fuck, it hurts.”

Mr. Monacelli all but ignored Max as he crouched down next to his son, planting a wrinkly hand on his back and rubbing in wide circles, “I got you, I got you. Get it up and then I’m taking you home.”

Max bit the inside of his cheek so as not to chuckle at that, “Uh- Hi…?”

“Mr. Daniels,” Giuseppe zeroed him, opening a small smile, “thank you for keeping him company.”

Sure. That was what he was doing.

“Yeah, uhm- Of course,” Max scratched at his beard, as Vince let out another sickly belch, bringing up a bit more watery vomit, and then leaned back, his head hitting the lockers, chest heaving, drenched in sweat.

“Babbo, I’m dying.”

“You should be,” Giuseppe glared at him, “what a stupida idea was that?” he softly thumped on his son’s forehead, “I couldn’t believe my ears when Livia told me. Cazzo, you’re an adult, Vincenzo!”

Vince frowned, looking pathetically close to tears, “babbo,” he breathed out, wiping at his mouth and clutching his bloated belly, “later?”

“Idiota,” his father scoffed, grabbing his arm and helping him get up, “Non pensi?”

“Dad,” Vince said a little harsher and his father stopped scolding him continuously, glaring at his son. 

“Let’s go home- Thank you for helping him, Mr. Daniels,” Giuseppe said, still oblivious to the role, or lack of one, Max had played.

“Of course,” Max said cheekily, following them out, “any time, Vince. I hope your tummy feels better.”

“Go fuck yourself, Danie- Babbo!” Vince cried out, as his father slapped the back of his hand, dragging him out of the school and towards his car.

“Don’t swear at the boy, he helped you,” Mr. Monacelli glared at Vince, “get in the car.”

“What am I, five?” Vince groaned, stumbling to the car and bracing against it, breathing deeply through the nausea. 

Max bit down a smirk, “Bye Mr. Monacelli,” he said happily, “bye Vinny.” 

Behind his father’s back, Vince raised a middle finger at him.

[canon-vi]

I decided to remake Taisiya and change her age, because otherwise the other characters are too old—

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

Name: Taisiya

Height: 156

Age: 11-12

Birthday: June 7

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

•

Taisiya has many witch outfits for Halloween, she does not dare to wear them, but often wears witch hats in the room

•

She made herself a pendant from a stone she liked, which she found on the riverside

•

Tasya has a problem with trust, but not in the sense that she cannot trust, but in the sense that she is too trusting, she will step on the same rake with the same person

•

Unlike the original Taisiya, this one braids her hair because of Passivmare's stories about Hope

•

She will always reach out and trust her relatives, no matter how Passivmare scolds them, Taisiya will always love them

•

Age difference with Lux - 13 years

•

Taisiya wants to move to the forest or a village remote from everyone, but suppresses this desire because she wants to be close to her family

•

Unlike the original version, this Taisiya can see the outline of Passivmer, but only the outline

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

Taisiya’s attitude towards the others:

Dream:

Papa is kind, he definitely wouldn’t want my mom to die, maybe he didn’t know that this could happen? Even uncle blames him...

Hope:

I would also like to see and hear mom live, it’s a pity this is impossible

Ink:

It seems to me that calling Miss Ink mom is slightly insulting towards Lux and Pallete, even if I want to, I’ll endure it

Passivemare:

It’s very fun and pleasant to spend time with my uncle, and he also protects me, I love him very much

Nightmare:

His Majesty is also very kind, but uncle doesn’t like him very much, so I’d better beware of him

Killer:

She apparently loved my mom very much, since she tells me all those stories, it’s very pleasant to listen to them

Cross:

Miss Killer spoke well of him, and they say his baked goods are delicious, I’ll have to go see him when there are not many people around... I hope such a moment will come

Reaper:

I’m sorry that my uncle harmed them because of me, I’ll need to give them some kind of gift as an apology, I just have to figure out what

Geno:

I will also need to make a gift for Miss Geno, and for Miss Goth, I will make them all a talisman! All that remains is to find the materials

Callisto:

Big brother cares and loves me, but I can still see the sadness in his eyes, he must have loved mom very much

Crescent:

He always smells of candles and something else, every time I feel bad from this smell, it seems to me that I can only communicate with him in a gas mask

Merciless:

I try to avoid him, it’s clear how uncomfortable he is with me, mom was probably dear to him too

Lux:

She doesn't like it when I call her sister so I call her Miss Lux, I don't think she loves me, I heard Lux ​​loved mom very much, I'm sorry

Pallete:

My brother is uncomfortable around me, so I try not to be near him for a long time, I don’t want to bother him

Goth:

Miss Goth suffered a lot because of me, I will need to make her a talisman against evil spirits, will she definitely forgive me if I give her one?

Drop:

She always tries to protect me, it's very nice, I love my sister, and Drop, and Lux

Bonus:

Artemis: ( by @itzcherrybonbon / @abloomingsunflower )

She's so sad when she sees me, do I remind her so much of my mom? Uncle said that mom always wore a braid, so maybe it would be better to wear a ponytail? Or cut my hair completely...

Vivi:

She doesn’t come to me often, most often she is with Miss Lux, she also told me that she comes to me in secret from Miss Lux, but she still comes, she listens very well, I like to tell her about what I read about witches and herbs

Sunshine: ( by @il1ketulipz )

It's very nice of her to come to me and listen to my stories, although she should be helping Pallete and Drop

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

six and eleven year old Tasya(just because I want so):

Now Tasya wears shorts, because running through the forest in a skirt is not very comfortable (tested by experience)

--------------------------🦊----------------------------

E. L. A. by our pretty flower: @anotherrosesthatfell

[millysastroblog]

What I think about ur zodiac placements / ~PT 1~

Hello this is my first astrology observation post pls take what I write here with a grain of 🧂.

It’s just for fun 🙃!

Sooooooo let’s dive into the 12 zodiac signs and my personal experience with them personally:)

——————————————————————————————————

Aries 😌: You guys are some of the most intense fire crackers out there, like they have a lot of energy and determination with like literally all aspects of life. I honstley respect u for being energetic and always on the go. I mostly have a good time with these people because they are entertaining,funny and easy to be around with but the bad side of them is just that they can sometimes be all little bit to impatient and self centered and bad mouthed.Also Aries people are sooooo fucking stubborn like a Taurus placements. Like can u even listen for one second. Anyway I personally like Aries placenta bc I don’t get bored with them that much .

Taurus 🤩: I personally really like Taurus placement bc first of all I am one and second of all we are very chill relaxed people. No time to stress no time to argue Taurus people don’t like to be in rush or stress they just like peace and want to relaxxxxxxxx 🫠. They have an immaculate taste when it comes to how they dress, and they style their hair and what the eat .They want the best out of the matierial world and through being patient and consistent they achieve these goals. Taurus is a beautiful but sometimes lazy sign 🌺. They play by their action not their words. Taurus people like also things that smell and look good on others ( When I see a man or woman that smells bomb 1000 x that passes me by I tend to look their direction and want to ask them where they got that fragrance or perfume from bc Taurus people get highhhhh from that shit 🍃🌸 ahahahaah ).The bad side about Taurus people is the most well know fact that is their stubbornness like we don’t give a fuck about what u have to say If we feel like it’s not valuable or important in any kind of way. Well …. it’s going to dismissed. Taurus people are also very slow with their actions sometimes toooo slow. And the last point is their possessiveness they know exactly that they can be really focused and stingy with people or material items these are the kids in kindergarten that refuse to share shit or take things from other because the know want they want and once they know what they want their mind turn into a ROCK 🪨. ( Side note: Also don’t provoke them or make these people angry unless u want a visit from the devil 👿)

Gemini😕: Chille Gemini the twin twin twinsssss idk what to write but the fact that u guys are fake!Sorry not sorry I have always had that opinion about y’all and it probably will never change. u guys are not that bad but I find most of u kinda annoying the to much of talking and gossiping drives me insane like can y’all stf up for a minute I need a BREEAAAAaak 🤯. But I can appreciate ur intellect and observations about certain things. One thing about Gemini is that they can be funny and crack the most out of nowhere jokes. I have seen a lot of Geminis being two sided or twisted bc of indecisiveness u guys don’t know what y’all want because there are so many options, thoughts, ideas, opinions about things so u get confused and confuse others. So I can give u guys some compassion for that .but all in all I find u still (annoying & F A K E 😘).

Cancer 🥺🌸:

Awwwweeeeeweee my babies I am about two cry writing bc u are my soul sisters and brothers 🥲. I loveeeeeeeeeee u guys so much bc u are one of the most loyal people on this universe . The way u care about people that don’t give two fucks about y’all it’s sadddd 😖. I love that I can sit with u in silence and everything is good and calm and chill. I appreciate the fact that I can vent or tell things to you that deeply impact me and there is not judgement. Cancers have really kind hearts and souls ONLY FOR PEOPLE THEY CARE ABOUT. that’s why it takes some time for them to open up and be themselves.But once u have seen their family / brother, sisters, mama, Dady, sons, daughters, even fucking ancestors then let me tell you … u are in their life permanent 🤫 or for a very long time because once they love u they will be family to u or u to them. So positive side is that they are caring, good listeners, respectful, homebodies, chill people and loyal!!! NOW ITS NOT ALL SWEET LIKE CANDY WITH CANCERS BC they can be the complete opposite when they don’t like u or u have hurt them. Cancers tend to have a hard time expressing anger. So once they are fed up with u the are ready to literally attack u like a crab 🦀. So yeah them being passive aggressive is a huge bad side and a victim complex after u dumbed them they will pull out the fact that the took care of u and this and that so . Treat them nicely and everything shall be good 👍 ( I guess??😬)

Like for Part 2 ❤️👍

[changingplumbob]

Foster Household: Chapter 8, Part 1

Time to head back to Sulani. Harvey meets up with some buddies to go fishing, Carson and Kayleigh discuss his upcoming birthday and Keira visits only to be told off, Foster parent style (which means not really)

Low level content warning: Mentions of emotionally abusive ex

Harvey: Morning sugar, room for two

Kayleigh: Afraid not, besides lavender upsets your skin

Harvey: True. Got plans for today?

Kayleigh: Painting of course. I think I want to get started on the realism set. How about you Harv?

Harvey: Finally going to have a fish club meetup

Kayleigh: If you’re going to Ohan’ali Town let me know. Carson and I will come

Harvey’s current aspiration is to make 50k from selling his honey so he gets to work tending his garden. Kayleigh just wants to earn money, and the best way is by selling her paintings. Carson wakes up late and heads downstairs. He contemplates the painting of Oscar the Grouch while he eats. Carson is a recycle disciple so I imagine he probably sees him as some kind of idol.

Harvey is checking on his bees and collecting their latest honey when he’s hit by a wave of flirtyness. Guess I know where Reece gets it from.

Carson: But mum why do we have to go to the doctor

Kayleigh: It’s a mod trial, you want to be vaccinated against deadly things don’t you

Carson: Yeah I guess. I just don’t like needles

Kayleigh: *laughs in possession of many tattoos* there’s a way to get over that but best wait until you’re older

Harvey heads to Ohan’ali and checks out the fishing pier. It seems like an alright location and the sun has come out so he calls up his fishing club. Members are Bjorn and Shelly who have joined because they love fishing. James has joined for fun because he’s old and needs friends. We also have Reece who wants to be able to catch stuff in Moonwood Mill. Lastly Bob who Harvey has been trying to convince to catch his own fish to cook with.

Bob: Hey Reece, how’ve you been

Reece: Not bad Mr Pancakes

Bob: Harvey says you’re living with your boyfriend now in a house that needs TLC

Reece: *smiles* Yeah, in Moonwood Mill but-

Bob: Let me show you some pictures of my first place

Reece: Oh watcher that was a dump

Bob: You’re telling me. Look, if your parents complain about your surroundings just tell them, it can always be so much worse

James: Hey thanks for inviting me

Harvey: No problem, the more the merrier

James: I’ve been wanting to fish in Willow Creek but it’s always been cold lately

Harvey: That’s the great thing about Sulani. Never cold enough that the fish don’t bite. You missing the sun yet Reece

Reece: No Dad, I like the woods. But I haven’t caught anything proper there yet

Bob: I haven’t caught anything full stop

Harvey: You done much fishing James

James: Oh not for years. Ophelia always complained of the smell, even when I cleaned them outside, so we switched to supermarkets

Bob: I like supermarkets

Harvey: Oh come on Bob, give it a go

Bjorn: Here, I can show you how to cast out your line

Bob: I’ve already done that

Bjorn: Won’t hurt to do it properly

Carson: Mum, I’ve been thinking

Kayleigh: Yes

Carson: Well it’s BBQ day tomorrow. Can we have a family get together then-

Kayleigh: Oh yes everyone’s already invited

Carson: -and for my birthday just invite my friends

Kayleigh: You… don’t want family at your party

Carson: Well I certainly don’t want Reece

Kayleigh: Your brother-

Carson: Would just make fun of me the entire time and embarrass me in front of my friends

Kayleigh: How about your sisters though

Carson: You know if we invite them and not Reece he’ll sulk about it forever. He always gets mad at me existing

Kayleigh: Well if you read his diary-

Carson: I didn’t! He has a stupid loud voice that carries. I’m surprised we can’t hear it over here

Bob: Oh, oh, I think I got something

Bjorn: That’s it Bob, focus, reel it in nice and slow

James: Are you sure he shouldn’t reel it in fast

Bjorn: Absolutely not, the fish could go flying

James: But if he does it slow-

With a grunt Bob pulls up his catch. One magnificent log.

Bob: Fudge bars

Harvey: It’s okay Bob, we’ve all caught a branch or two

James: I must have fished up a forest in my time

Reece: All I can get in Moonwood Mill is seaweed

Harvey: Well what fish are there

Reece: Dad how would I know if I haven’t caught them

Harvey: You examine the water son

Reece: Oh hey, I got a bite! It’s…. nothing. That’s weird

Harvey: Keep trying

Reece: But seriously. I felt something. Where the heck did it go

Kayleigh: Look Carson, you only have one brother

Carson: One too many by my count

Kayleigh: And you’re only going to ever have one brother

Carson: I could always marry a mermaid with like ten trillion brothers

Kayleigh: In laws are not the same, you haven't grown up with them. He’s moved out now, you should try getting along

Carson: We went to see him for his birthday and what does he do? Use me as an arm rest, again

Kayleigh: *sighs*

Carson: Mum I just want my birthday to be about me, nothing is ever about me when I’m the youngest

Kayleigh: Okay. If it means that much, we can just have your friends for your birthday

Carson: Sweet! We made a good cowplant mum

Kyleigh: Yeah we did. Race you to the water?

Carson: Ready, set, bye! *sprints off*

Kayleigh: hold on, that’s cheating

The afternoon carries on and James finds Nemo. Bob manages to fish up some kind of chest. Don’t know what’s in it but hey, it’s better than nothing. Which is what Reece catches, nothing. Well seaweed and nothing. Harvey however catches a rare endangered Butterfly Fish and quickly throws it back in, hoping he hasn’t hurt the little guy. He also catches a Fighting Plakat which is another new fish for him.

Harvey: Carson, someone needs to set the table

Carson: Yeah, someone does

Kayleigh: Carson, do as your dad asks

Carson: Fine. But he technically didn’t ask anything. What’s for dinner dad

Harvey: Salmon maki

Carson: Can you make enough for leftovers

Harvey: May as well, there’s a ton of fish in here

Harvey finishes up and then calls the household to eat.

Keira: Hola family

Harvey: In the dining room

Keira: Yeah I can see dad

Kayleigh: Look honey, your father and I wanted to talk to you about your arrest

Keira: It wasn’t an arrest! It was a detainment… they let me go without charging me

Carson: Who charged what now

Keira: Marta’s idiot ex was being stupid so I punched him, seemed like the thing to do. We got into a tussle and when the cop showed up she detained us until she could figure out what happened

Harvey: You’re lucky Aaron could help on such short notice or it could have been worse

Carson: Idiot move. Should have knocked him out so you could talk before being whatever you were

Kayleigh: Carson, really

Carson: Mum, we're a family of fighters

Kayleigh: Maybe we shouldn’t be. No computer for a day

Carson: But normally-

Kayleigh: No computer for a day

Keira: Woah mum, where did these rules come from

Harvey: We got worried when Aaron called. Watcher knows we’ve all been arrested in our youth but you shouldn’t just attack people

Keira: He was verbally attacking Marta

Carson: He what

Keira: I was standing up for my girlfriend. Plus he knocked Joey down so I was standing up for him as well

Kayleigh: We’re not saying you shouldn’t look after those you love. But honey you should think before you punch

Kayleigh: Enough discipline though, I hate it

Carson: So do I

Kayleigh: What about your other news? You’re engaged now

Keira: Oh yeah, I asked Marta to marry me. I didn’t like to think of her alone after that whole incident. We have to move though. Liam knows we lived there so we’re thinking San Sequoia

Harvey: Two kids married or engaged, when do I get some grandkids

Kayleigh: Ignore your dad. Here. If you need a respite on the way there, we do have a spare room since Reece moved out

Following dinner Kayleigh and Keira do some painting and chat a bit more. Keira is not great at painting and Kayleigh wants to give her some tips. In the end Keira produces… some kind of art? Kayleigh on the other hand makes another masterpiece! The force is strong with this one.

Previous (Knightstone) ... Next

[rosytintedlights]

Growing up a picky eater was eating chicken nuggets and fries almost every meal.

It was going to bed without dinner sometimes because the food my dad made looked disgusting.

It was being handed chicken, then being told it was actually pork and It was the disgust I felt knowing my dad lied to me and that I put something I didn’t try before into my mouth.

It was my mom asking me to at least try something once before I decided I didn’t like it.

It was my brother putting hot sauce in my ketchup, my only safe dip, because he thought it was funny.

It was my sister chewing foods I hated the smell of with her mouth open because she knew it bothered me.

It was my parents hoping I wouldn’t be diabetic when I grew up because all I ate was carbs.

It was my dad poking fun at my weight, and it was the shame I felt after for being so chubby.

It was avoiding most school lunches because it looked or smelled bad.

It was some of my friends wondering if I had an eating disorder because I avoided so many foods.

It was being told I was on the verge of diabetes when I was 19.

But…

It was also my dad letting me cook with him so I could learn how to make my own meals.

It was finally giving something new a shot and liking it for once.

It was learning about as many foods as I could online and being excited to try them.

It was my dad going out of his way to cook something I wanted too.

It was my mom telling me to just eat what made me happy.

It was my brother buying me food when we were home alone.

It was my sister sharing foods I did like so I wouldn’t be hungry.

It was my mom buying extra foods during family holidays so I could eat with everyone in case the food served was something I refused to eat.

It was my whole family still loving me even though I was ashamed of myself.

As a picky eater, I struggled with food, a lot. But looking back, my family was always willing to try and help to make sure I didn’t ever feel hungry, left out, or unloved.

To any fellow picky eater out there - there’s a food out there for you. You just have to be willing to take the first bite.

[emeritus-fuckers]

Yaaaaay ministry event!!!!

1. Would you say you're more likely to be a Sibling of Sin or a Ghoul? Why?

Sibling of Sin. Im weird but still within the bounds of humanity. I would likely end up in ghoul dens though, I would be fascinated with them.

2. Which Papa would you prefer to work with? Why? (Sister Imperator is included)

Outside of my personal feelings for each one, papa 3. He seems the most... personable. Im a little anxious and sensitive, i feel like it would be easiest to work with him or papa iv as a back up.

3. Are you an introvert, ambivert or an extrovert? Tell us a bit more about it.

Ambivert. I love being around people but I need my quiet time at the end of the day. I like parties, for example, but I keep to myself during them.

4. What chore do you like the most/hate the least?

Hate the most? Dishes. I have sensory issues and wet food makes me want to peel off my skin. Like the most? Laundry. I love the smell of clean laundry and knowing i have clean underwear lol.

5. Do you like to travel, or maybe you prefer to stay at home?

Both, for different reasons. I love seeing new places and going fun places (I like to identify new plants and birds) but honestly it's a relief to come home to my own bed.

6. Freebie. You've got five sentences to tell us anything you want about you.

If I could live in a natural history museum, I would. The smell of incense is comforting. I find myself staring at people a lot, I don't mean to, but I prefer watching to interacting. I crochet a lot, and make scarves for just about everyone I know. My goal is to be a tattoo artist.

This post is part of the 1250 (I think?) followers Role in ministry event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your role in the ministry is…Tattoo artist for the clergy

You work for Papa III

Terzo is happy for you to spend a lot of time in the chapel as he knows you like the smell of incense. He suggested you crochet there when it isn't being used for anything else. He'll sit with you and write his sermons but you often end up people watching. Terzo's favourite game is to watch then tell you who is going to get together next, he loves match making. He is very happy when he gets it right.

He'll invite you along to all the parties he goes to but he always understands if you want to miss one.

He will set you up with someone if you ask or he is also really good at introducing you to the perfect people to be friends with.

He nudged you towards the Ghouls because he knew you wanted to see the dens. He made sure Omega kept a very close eye on you so nothing bad happens and you aren't allowed there unless Omega is around, because, well you know what Ghouls can be like.

But you are one of their favourite siblings, they often offer to help at your tattoo parlour, they helped you set it up. Although sometimes they cause more chaos than actually helping. But it's always good natured and fun but sometimes they do need to be gently reminded to calm down. Swiss once tried to tattoo and obscene image on Sodo when he fell asleep.

You made Terzo and his Ghouls scarves and they all were really happy with them. Terzo wore his around the Ministry with great pride right up until summer when he was too hot. He is now looking forward to autumn.

You also made friends with Primo, on your lunch breaks you go and sit in the gardens to identify the plants and birds. Primo saw you and his eyes lit up that someone else appreciated things like that. He has sooo many books on it that he lends you and, he'll often join you for a walk round the garden showing you all the new plants he put in.

You do get some rather interesting requests for tattoos. There is a wide variety of different artworks asked for, some more serious and intricate others because someone lost a bet...

~

Written by Nyx

[cmishwrites]

FO4 Fanfic intro pt 2

Ok, so part two is edited. Some things; ~ On one hand I do like it, might not be my best writing, but it was fun to write. (that's what fan fic is all about right? having fun?) ~ On the other hand, well this is just the intro (PART TWO of the intro), setting things up, establishing things that are important to the story later on. ~ Overthinking me is worried it's too lengthy ~ There is going to be a part 3, because... well long. ~ I might have settled on a title; Union but still on the fence about it.

Length: 1800 words

Warnings: discussions of chem addiction and the aftermath of violence and murder. child kidnapping.

2275 late summer

The baby shrieked in fury over her toy, a handmade little dolly, being denied her. Leo laughed and handed it back to her before glancing at his parents. They were speaking in hushed tones, hard to hear over the baby's noises. "Heard they hit the Christianson farm," His father was saying. "How bad was it?" "Both Jill and Mayberry were killed. The children," His father said something Leo couldn't hear. His mother's expression was horrified. "How long ago?" "Few weeks. You know them, they didn't have much to do with anyone." His father was fixing one of his tools. He shook his head. "They'd been," he glanced towards Leo and dropped his voice lower. Leo shuddered, he could guess what was said. The Christianson's were a reclusive family. It would have been weeks before anyone realized something was wrong. He tapped his baby sister's nose, frowning. "Mom, can we go visit Cal?" He asked glancing towards his parents. He hadn't seen his cousin in months. The last time he'd gone to visit, Aunt Mary and Uncle Bob had refused to let him into the house. Cal, they said, was grounded. He'd had one quick glimpse of his cousin at the window, her face pale and her eyes sad. His mother looked at him, something on her face frightened him. She looked at his father who shook his head. "They wouldn't be that stupid." His father said quickly. But there was the same look on his face too. Leo swallowed. "Lets go see Cal." Jenna said, her smile looking forced. She lifted the baby into her arms and glanced at her husband. "Shall we?"

Uncle Bob and Aunt Mary's house was outside the protective walls of the town. It was little more than a shack in the woods. The path leading to it was unkempt and wound through the trees, lined with discarded junk. The clearing was wide, and also filled with scavenged junk and trash. Leo's father stopped at the edge of the clearing, motioning Leo and Jenna to stay while he moved forward. The shack's door hung open, broken, and laying across the doorway was one of the large attack dogs that always frightened Leo. As he watched his father stride closer to the porch, Leo realized that there were several mounds around the filth filled yard. Mounds of bloody fur. Uncle Bob had several large guard dogs. They were all dead. Then a smell hit him and he wrinkled his nose, inching closer to his mother. Death, the clearing smelled of death. "Bob?" His father called, stepping carefully over the dead dog and into the shack. "Mary?" Leo gripped his mother's hand. If there was anything dangerous he'd need to make sure his mother and baby sister were safe. When his father stepped back out onto the porch his expression somber. "David?" His mother started to step towards the shack but his father shook his head. "Don't. Go back to town, tell Kent that raiders his the place." His father's voice was strange. "Dad, where's Cal?" Leo asked quickly, fear filling him. His father looked at him. "Escort your mother to town. I'll look for Cal. She's smart, she may be hiding out in the woods." Leo nodded. Of course, he had to protect his mother. Jenna was no match for the creatures that sometimes swarmed the trees. He saluted his father, the way Great-Grandpa had taught him, and urged his mother back along the path, missing the tragic look his parents shared. ~*~

Jenna glared at the assembled townsfolk. "Rugar warned you it wouldn't end well. And it hasn't. Both Mary and Bob are dead, their home was ransacked." "There was still a lot of chem usage too." Kent, the head of the local militia for their town added. "There's jet and psycho all over the place." "What about Calisto?" Someone asked. Jenna's throat closed off, unable to answer. "No sign of her." David, Jenna's husband, snarled. He stepped closer to the Mayor, his face a mask of rage. The Mayor took a discrete step back. "You put a babe into the home of chem-heads despite warnings not to. She should have come to us, or hell anyone else in the family. Now she's in the hands of raiders or slavers, and god only know what's going to happen to her!" "I'm glad Rugur wasn't alive to see this." Jenna murmured. David nodded. "You've failed her. And our family." Chani said stepping over. Her usual serene demeanor gone. "You've failed every person in this town." "Now, wait…" The Mayor began but he was shouted down by several of the other residents. David crossed his arms, raising his voice. "I think it's time for a new mayor. If he'll thoughtlessly pass a child to a known pair of chem heads, what else will he do to place our precious children in danger?" Silence echoed as Kent stepped over, holding his hand out. "All in favor of Mayor Mavis to step down, hands raised." A sea of hands shot into the air. "Opposed?" No one raised their hands. Jenna nodded grimly as Mavis glared at them. Hanging round his neck on a thick cord was a large medal, the symbol of his status, he removed it slowly, then dropped it to the ground instead of handing it to Kent. He said nothing as he turned and walked away to a rising tide of hissing and boos. ~*~

Leo watched the adults from where he sat with his cousins. His cousins, ranging from late teens to toddler age were as upset as he was. The older ones were trying to figure out how to stage a rescue when Jenna came over, quietly taking the baby from Leo. She sat down beside him and looked over the cousins, her expression grave. "I need you all to make me a promise." She said after they all settled down. Large eyes peered at her, they nodded. "You will not, under any circumstances, try to follow the raiders." "But," Tyrell, Cal's second oldest brother began. Jenna shook her head and held up her hand, forestalling any argument. "I know, Ty, it tears me up to think about what must be happening to her." She looked down and took a deep breath. "We think we know where they're headed, and David, Toric and Kent, and most of the hunting party are going to try to follow. We can't have you all scattering like rad roaches." She looked at each of them, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "We can't loose any more of you. Now promise me, you especially Ty, that you won't try to take matters into your own hands." The silence stretched. Ty shook his head, standing. "I can't promise that. That's my baby sister." His hands were tight fists. "I failed her. It's my duty to find her. I'll go with Uncle David and Toric and the others, whether they want me to or not." Ty glanced around and took a deep breath. "Aden is missing. I think," He swallowed. "I think Aden had something to do with it." Aden was the eldest of Ty and Calisto's siblings, and like his parents had struggled with chem addiction. His absence had struck Leo as odd. Jenna studied him her shoulders sagging. "Okay. Tell David that." She looked back at the others as Ty strode towards the gathering hunting party. "The rest of you, I need that promise." One by one, reluctantly, they promised. Leo hesitated, looking towards where Ty stood speaking with Toric and his father. The newly elected mayor, his grandmother, Chani, was talking with them. "You're too young to join them." Jenna said softly. Leo jerked his gaze back at his mother and shook his head. "No, I'm not." He pushed himself up and forced himself to walk over to them, knees weak and hands trembling. They all fell silent as soon as he got there. "I'm going too." "You're too little." Toric started. "Leo and Cal are good friends." Ty, said quickly, resting his hand on Leo's shoulder. "He should come too." "It's too dangerous." David said, clasping his son's other shoulder. "I need someone here to keep an eye on your mother." "The rest of the town is here." Leo crossed his arms, forcing himself to look up at his father. He'd never outright defied him. "I can shoot, I can hunt. I've helped hunt ferals and I can help hunt these raiders." Someone snickered. "He's a damn good shot too." Kent added. David sighed, his shoulders sagging a bit. "You must listen to the other hunters." Chani said firmly. Leo glanced at his grandmother in surprise. He hadn't expected her to side with him. "Of course." He said. David sighed again. "There are things out there that I'd rather you not see." "He'll see them soon enough." Toric shrugged. "The longer we discuss it, the further away they get." Leo pressed. "Either I go with you now, or I follow behind, but I'm going. I have to help Cal." Leo gritted his teeth as the other hunters reluctantly agreed.

~*~ *Fourteen days later.

Jenna stood on the porch of her house, watching as the hunting party returned. Fourteen days. It had been fourteen long days, wondering, worrying. Jenna bit her lip, watching David and Leo walk slowly up to the house. Shoulders slumped, faces somber. David met her eyes and shook his head as he stepped onto the porch. Leo didn't even look at her, hurrying past her, going into the house. Jenna swallowed, shifted the baby to her other hip and pulled David into a tight hug. He was shaking as they parted, eyes full of unshed tears. "We followed them all the way into the Commonwealth. Lost them outside of Boston, couldn't pick up their trial." David slowly sat on the top step, rubbing his hand over his face. "We failed her." His voice broke. Jenna sat beside him, the baby lunging for her father. David took her, brushing a kiss across her forehead, giving her a weak smile. "You tried." Jenna said gently, swallowing back tears. He nodded, glancing at her and frowned, reaching over to grip her bandaged hand. She flinched but met his eyes. "What happened?" "Mother and I had a conversation with Mavis after you left." She said slowly, looking down at the bandages. David stared at her, a slight smile on his lips. "It didn't go well?" Jenna shrugged. "Not for him." She sighed and met his eyes. "He now has a permanently dilated left eye, at least that's what the doctor called it. And I don't think his nose will ever be straight again." He stared at her, shock on his face before a smile spread slowly across his face. He leaned over, kissing her deeply. "God, I wish I could have seen that." His smile faded and he sighed, staring towards the town's wall. Jenna leaned against him, torn between relief that he and Leo were home, and despair that they hadn't been able to rescue Cal. "If Calisto is still alive, she's out of the family's reach." He said after a moment, voice low. He looked back at her. "I don't know what else we can do." "Hope." Jenna said, absently touching his cheek with her uninjured hand. "That's all we can do now, is hope." ~*~ Thanks for reading, I hope y'all enjoyed reading it, I know I enjoyed writing it. I need to do some touch up on the final part of the intro, I'll get it up as soon as I have it ready. As always comments and thoughts are welcome. And I do have a bottle of brain and eye bleach on standby if you need it :P * I know it says Fourteen days, but I'm starting to think it takes longer to get from their town to Boston and back. I will have to adjust that later.

[jiminzfilter]

shine on me | preview

→ Pairing. Seokjin x Reader

→ Genre. lifeguard!seokjin, strangers to lovers... 👀

→ Summary. Turns out going to the beach isn't as bad as you thought. Especially when a lifeguard caught your eyes

→ Word count. 2.4k

→ I already miss the summer so I wanted to share some glimpses of this fic that, for some reason, I really love. You can thank my sister for the idea that gave this fic birth. Ngl, releasing this makes me kinda anxious but I really hope you'll like it:,)

It's been more than five years since you last went to the beach, the reason being you moved to a different city to pursue your studies. 

WelL you also maYbe have a love/hate relationship with the sun ( it’s more hate than love though) that would explain why you were never out when you were home for a few days during your vacations. It’s not that you don’t like the beach, it’s just that…

…

okAY

MAYBE you don’t like the beach.

Who could blame you though ? There’s seaweed everywhere and it sticks to your body when you get out of the water or flies in your eyes when it’s windy. [don't ask why but for some reasons, each time you went to the beach, there were seaweeds EVERYWHERE]

Also it gets sO cold when it’s windy, one moment you’re in the water and it’s all nice, the next one you’re freezing because of the ~wind~

Let’s not forget the sand, and the sun 

Oh the sun

Ball of fire that literally burns you to the point you don’t know if you’re a human or a tomato

Last but not least, the beach is always SO crowded and, let's be honest, you like the company of your friends buT you despise crowded space where everyone sits so close to each other you can literally hear their breaths. UGH

Yeah, you’re not much of a beach person. 

Too bad your friends LOVE going there. Especially during hot summer days.

“Come on y/n, don’t be such a killjoy.” Hoseok teases “We will have so much fun at the beach”

You groan “ahnnn. Let me think about it…” you tap your chin and look up “no?”

Disappointed but not surprised, your friends sigh in harmony. 

“Come on you can go without me. It’s not like I will be missed anyways. Plus I could stay and take care of your cat” you look at Jimin whose eyes grow bigger

“ABSOLUTELY NOT” he points at you “Last time I let you alone with Luna, poor baby was dressed up with ribbons and you bathed her with super scented shampoo.” 

For your defence, the cat smelled like poop and Jimin only uses expensive shower products from fancy perfume brands. You hAd to wash her. The ribbon was just there and you thought it’d look cute as a collar. It’s not like the cat complained anyways.

You huff and cross your arms over your chest. “I am noT coming, nothing you could say or do will make me change my mind.” 

You stand up from the couch and leave for the kitchen to take your phone while Jimin and Hoseok exchange an understanding look and nod. 

“Y/nnnn??” Jimin calls sweetly and you reply with a hum "What about lunch? Or dinner? I heard there was a restaurant at the beach we’re going to. Apparently they have a starred chef.” 

You look away from your phone’s screen, suddenly very interested. “Well, as long as you’re offering” You smile ; “I hope you know I will order the most expensive dish from their menu” 

To that, Hoseok rolls his eyes “yeah yeah we’ll see about that. Now go get changed. We’re going in ten minutes. Namjoon should be here anytime”

“Sur- WHAT??” You almost choke on imaginary water "Didn’t you say we were going tomorrow ?”  

“yes. We are going tomorrow AND today” Jimin tells you “If you listened more carefully instead of saying no all the time, you would’ve caught that”

You huff ; “fiNE. But you’re paying for food both today and tomorrow” 

They laugh at your pissed expression as you rush to your room to find something appropriate to wear. 

Thank god you shaved yesterday, you give yourself a mental pqt on the back for that. The first bikini you find is the one you change into. Quick check in the mirror. Okay. A dress is thrown over all of this and you then proceed to very dramatically throw everything you might need in your bag. 

“Y/n Namjoon is here we gotta go” you hear Jimin call 

“Just a minute” You run to your bed and grab your phone.

You notice they already left when you arrive at the door. 

Penalty for the last one out, uh? Dammit those boys are still 3. 

You sigh and grab the apartment's keys. 

“There is no such thing as too much sunscreen!” 

As you thought, the weather is scorching hot. You all settled in the shades of your umbrellas, bottle of water close to you to stay hydrated. Namjoon brought Taehyung with him. You haven’t seen them for the past years, they changed quite a lot (and thank god because the emo look Namjoon was going for a few years back was aWfuL). Namjoon is all muscles now and Taehyung has a girlfriend!! Incredible right? He used to be so shy around the opposite back in high school. He said she would come later today. Everyone is chatting happily, the waves as a background music. You were starting to unpack your bag when Jimin pointed out your insane amount of sunscreen. This boy loved teasing you. 

“Don’t you think bringing one bottle was enough? Do you really need…” Jimin counts the bottles laid out on your towel “SEVEN?! What are you even doing with those ? EaTiNg them?” You all snort at his comment 

“They don’t have the same use!!! There are different SPFs and some are oils and there’s also.. wait. Do you even cAre? Can’t someone just help me apply some on my back ? Yes? Oh god Joon you’re my saviour thank you!” 

As you remove your dress, you notice Hoseok’s smile before he once again teases you ; “You’re so pale Yoongi would be jealous”

You laugh “If I burn to death because I don’t have sunscreen on, I doubt that he will envy me” 

You sit, back facing Namjoon, and hand him the biggest bottle of sunscreen, which he applies very carefully. You thank him when he is done and lay on your towel, being careful to stay in the umbrella’s shadow, as everyone runs into the water. 

Earphones now plugged in, you open your overused notebook and, a pencil in your hand, get ready to drown the pages in randomsmall poems. 

The blue of the sea

Is like the blue of your eyes tears

You look smile at me

This picture of you smiling at me// it smiles at me?

And I know you’re… ????? far away from here?

(because??) I am blue now, just like you

You sigh and look at the sea. The page is all covered with various doodles now and half of the words you wrote have been scratched off and replaced by others. It doesn’t make sense :(

Where are the boys anyways? They haven't come back and it’s been what? An hour? Maybe two? You check your phone and sigh. 11 am. It’s only been thirty minutes. You sigh in frustration, wishing the day was over already so you could go back home and have your sun detox.

Your notebook is settled aside and you change the music to a much calmer one before laying down completely. 

Never too late or too early for a good nap.

“Hey, y/n, do you want to go swimm-“ Jimin stops himself when he sees you’re sleeping. “hasn’t been at the beach in two years and here she is sleeping” he shakes his head 

“Jimin? What time is it? I’m kinda hungry” Hoseok calls as he approaches

He checks his phone “1pm. We should go eat. Call the boys”

The boys are being loud enough to wake you up as they get prepared to leave.

Annoyed, you sigh and open your eyes, almost instantly regretting as the sun blinds you despite your sunglasses and the umbrella. 

You’re about to tell them to shut uP when you hear someone say your name. ; “what about Y/n ? Shouldn’t we wake her up so she can come eat with us?”. You recognise the voice as Namjoon’s

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve already sent her a text saying where we’re going. Let her have her rest” Jimin replies and you hear the boys’ voices fade as they walk away. 

It’s quiet again now. Perfect, you can go back to sleep- wait a minute 🤨

Did Namjoon mention eating? Last time you checked it was 11am but that was before you took a nap so… 

Oh my god

They did noT-

You check your phone and 1) it’s already 1 pm how did you sleep for two hours?? 2) Jimin didn’t even send you a text when he promised he’d pay for your meal 3) THEY WENT FOR LUNCH WITHOUT YOU

!!!

You feel betrayed. Very much betrayed. You hate Jimin

Well, if they plan on leaving you behind, might as well take some time to organise your stuff and reapply some ✨sunscreen✨ 

When you finally arrive at the restaurant, it's already 1:40 PM. Namjoon kept a seat empty next to him, which you gladly take. As promised, you order the most expensive thing on the menu (fancy cooked fish with vegetables or something like that,, whatever, Jimin said he was paying and you plan on making him regret not waking you up earlier). The food has a divine taste by the way. 

You feel like doing a victory dance when you see Jimin’s face as he takes the bill and a big grin spreads on your face when he looks at you, eyes wide. Take that 

After this day, Jimin decided to never leave you behind when it was time to eat. Not when his wallet was at stake at least.

This morning, you made it clear that going swimming was NOT in your plans but, hundred of supplication and a cone of ice cream offered by Hoseok (this man really knows the way to your heart) later, you give in and dive your feet in the coLd water. 

“YOU TOLD ME IT WAS WAY HOTTER THAN THIS!!!” You scream at the four dumb-asses that are your friends, already regretting doing this.

“But it IS hot!” Jimin replies “you just gotta dive right in” 

And he starts to lightly splash water at you, like the good friend he is. You run around and try to avoid getting wet. 

Suddenly you feel strong arms wrapping around your waist and- oh no- you know where this is going. Hoseok laughs in your neck and lifts you up. Your friends laugh even louder

“JUNG FUCKING HOSEOK PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT” you hit his arm around you

“As you wish” and he drops you 

In the water. And it’s cold!!!!

“OHMYGOD HOSEOK I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS” you point a finger at him as you try to push him away from your face your now-soaked hair. Of course, you fail (I mean, have you ever actually tried to brush a hand through your hair when they’re wet? That’s right, you CaN’t).

Hoseok is having a hard time catching his breath looking at how much he’s laughing, oh god you wish a siren would come and drag him to the bottom of the ocean.

Or maybe not. You still need your friend to comfort you when you’re sad. Plus, as dumb as he is, he’s your best friend.

That doesn’t stop you from splashing water at him, making him scream in surprise. And suddenly everyone is splashing water at each other.

Yes. You guys are children.

You probably all start screaming a bit too much and are surely extra loud because someone is calling you out. 

“Hey. Stop it!” A masculine voice calls in your back, startling you. “You plan on causing a tsunami or what?”

There’s a moment of silence before you slowly turn around and-

oh my god- 

what a sight 

There’s a handsome lifeguard standing on the shore pointing at you and your friends. Sun-kissed skin, slightly damp hair gracefully falling on his forehead, plump lips, swim shirt leaving very little to the imagination… yup. So handsome. Your eyes catch up to his and you hold his gaze, your body suddenly hot and you look away

“ Hey,Seokjin!” Namjoon waves at the lifeguard

[playtimepalace]

this is sam sorry for long

it’s so cute when you talk about being flustered irl by the things we talk about on here, ngl it makes me wet and then i have to walk around with dirty underwear and it’s Your Fault !! (joking, i love it)

i just Know you would be so fun to play with!! you’re just a sweet little horny baby and it makes me want to overwhelm you with pleasure until the only thing you can do is whine and drool and take it like a good boy <33

anyways,,,, got distracted,, i big agree with you abt like the intersection of omegaverse and transness, like different people have different ideas but i’ve always imagined male omegas like trans boys, with slick and two holes and it is Very Hot to me to imagine omega dicks as tdicks (or pre/non-t) bc they are very hot and belong in my mouth. also along that line i imagine female alphas to have girldicks bc girldick is hot as hell. do i just like dicks in general? hm. maybe this is making me look bad hshdkfnr

god. distracted again. i had a shower thought that turned into a whole ass fantasy about an alpha prince, who’s notoriously brash and reckless and shouty, and his kingdom is at war and he switches sides, and the other kingdom doesn’t quite trust him but they need the information he has so they keep him under the guard of a very kind and sweet (if a little immature and hyperactive) alpha.

they become friends, and they spar together, and shouty alpha always wins because he’s a very good swordsman. one day shouty smells a little off but sweet doesn’t think much of it, until he starts winning match after match. he’s getting concerned, after shouty accidentally cuts him on the shoulder, and sweet is annoyed at first but shouty keeps apologizing over and over which is so odd for him. shouty insists he’s fine and they keep sparring until sweet wins another match, with his sword tip touching the base of shouty’s throat. he’s a little smug when he says I Win again :)

but oh no! shouty collapses on the floor, onto his knees and when sweet kneels to look at him, he puts his finger under his chin and asks him if he’s okay, but shouty’s eyes are glassy and he just continues softly panting. sweet freaks out and yells for his sister, a healer, and the yelling makes shouty start giving off a very scared scent, and that’s when sweet realizes he’s not an alpha at all, he’s an omega and sweet’s show of (fake) dominance has pushed him into an early heat.

ok this got rly long sorry but the healer comes and tells him that shouty’s involuntary submission shows that he thinks of sweet as a good mate and it’s his responsibility to keep shouty happy and comfortable until he comes out of it because sweet’s scent is the only thing that will calm him through the heat. and sweet has to be soo careful and gentle with poor shouty, who when he’s not pretending to be an alpha is so very sensitive and vulnerable, and sweet has to carry him back to his quarters and hold him and speak to him softly (even though he can’t really understand the words he can understand tone) and fuck him so lovingly when he gets needy and desperate, whimpering and grinding on sweet until he pays attention to him.

tldr i love when tough guys break down (sometimes on accident) and have to let themselves be soft and taken care of <33

- sam 💃🕺💃🕺

firstly sammysam my lovely sam never apologize for long i love long!! esp long from you i'll never get enough💙💙💙

secondly auahauahguhghg 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 you dunno what that does to me, every time you talk to me like that I just melt ♡ its embarrassing- I get actual shivers sometimes, my face gets hot n' I just wanna....just would do anything to keep you going, just wanna make you feel as good as you make me feel!! would certainly help with that mess in your underwear if I could, n by that of course I mean get on my knees and make it worse 🥺

OKAY UM. blushes. onto the omegaverse!!

tdick and boycunt and girlcock!!! [raucous applause] forgot for a sec that cis people exist but they can play too i guess 🙄 (joking) but yea!! im with u all the way :3 and also cock on the brain is the correct mentality always im pretty sure

ok so the DELECTABLE little fantasy ooohhh my god. oh my god?

poor poor shouty who's already a bit at a loss since switching sides, he feels like he's doing the right thing, he knows he's doing the right thing, but it's so hard, he's in this new place, with none of his familiar comforts, has luxury still, yes, but none of his specific strategies to keep his facade bearable, and with all the stress and all the questions... well he may lash out more than ever, may throw himself into everything with extra fervor, a desperate compensation for that ache that won't leave, the neglected need to feel soft, to be treated as if he were delicate, to be cared for. He doesn't- shouldn't have those needs, that's what he tells himself anyway. He's competent, strong, independent, capable. Biology doesn't matter, he'd gotten this far, he'd figure out the rest. Even if it was hard. Almost impossibly hard sometimes. He still couldn't afford to waver.

The only saving grace in the hailstorm that was the emotions and hormones and swirling thoughts was his keeper, the other Alpha. Nobody calls the sweet man his keeper, not to his face, but shouty isn't stupid, he knows he's being monitored, but this guard…. well he was a saving grace as much as he was a damning one. How could shouty continue to swallow down his urges the way he had his whole life with sweet at his arm before he could even think to look for him? It was impossible to not open up to a man who was always there, always smiling, always seemed up for anything, never faltered at shouty's temper or impulsiveness, always seemed to care.

Shouty had lost that day before the matches had even begun. He tried his best, he threw himself into it like always, but his mind felt like he was wading through sand, or- no, maybe more like honey. Slow and warm and thick and...sweet. Sweet. Had the 'other' Alpha's scent always been so strong? Shouty's not paying enough attention, he's not focused, and- the cut is thin, not too deep, but it's bleeding, oh god, the Alpha-- his Alpha, he's bleeding, and it's all his fault. The apologies spill from his mouth, but they don't feel like enough, not when sweet is standing there trying to get him to stop saying sorry. Shouty's jaw snaps shut at what sweet almost certainly didn't mean as an order, but the words just carried that weight right now. So shouty swallows it down as much as he can, closes his eyes to steady himself, then promises he can continue, and then-- it's all a blur from there.

There's a sword to his neck and then the gentlest finger to his chin, the kind of touch you could just sink into, and then there's shouting, it's sharp, loud. Angry? No- panicked. But it's his Alpha shouting, why? What did shouty do wrong? He suppresses a whimper, sword clattering to the ground, out of his sweaty grip, when did everything get so hot? When did he get on his knees? Now it's not just his mind, his limbs feel like he's fighting against gravity trying to drag him down. He's vaguely away he's being move, looked at. Sees familiar faces but doesn't really see them, hears voices he can't bring himself to focus on- he's burning up on the inside, cramping from how hard his body's clenching, it's all too much, it's not supposed to happen now, not like this, not when he can't hide, and shouty's on the verge of a real proper panic attack, worsened by his emotional state, hands balled to fists, chin down, trying to handle it on his own like always, when... oh.

He's in his sweet, sweet Alpha's arms. When did he even get there? They're moving now, the Alpha carrying him like he's small, like he's fragile, like he doesn't weigh anything, and shouty... just lets out a soft sound and leans in, tucks his face into the Alpha's jaw. Accepts it. The Omega accepts all of it.

Shouty clings when sweet tries to set him down on his bed, blushes at his own neediness but grumbles about the distance immediately- and that sounds enough like the shouty that sweet's grown to know that the Alpha laughs, purrs, leans right back in to scoop him up and nuzzles against him, keeps him nice and relaxed. It's not long before shouty's squirming though, he can smell sweet's arousal just as sweet was well aware of his. But it's not just the scent and demeanor that's got sweet going, its that trust, it's all the sharp edges and defiant independence, all the showiness of prove melting away... it's shouty letting go, giving everything to sweet. It's just the two of them. Sweet strips the clothes from both of them slowly, carefully, curls himself around the other, skin to skin. And it soothes, but only for a moment. Cuddling was never going to be enough.

But urgency has been abandoned, panic melted away, they were going to indulge in each other, truly, properly, and they had all the time in the world. ♡

[brattybaddiee]

You look down on where you came from sometimes

But you’ll have this place to call home, (in my heart) always

To my friend. To my soul sister.

I’ll always miss you Jaymie.

_________________________________________________

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

The sound of your breathing vest beating your chest filled the camp dorm room.

It was just me and you in an empty dorm in the middle of a hot day in June.

Summer camp was the best growing up. The one week in the year where me and our favorite friends just got to have fun and hang out with seemingly endless time.

For you and I the only interruption to our day of fun was this. A constant reminder that just being here could land you in the hospital.

I watched from my bunk bed as you sat there and coughed while the contraption beat all the junk in your lungs back up for you to cough out. It was a miserable process. One you often tried to convince me that you didn’t need to do some days. But even when you had to. We often sat there laughing and talking about which boys we liked.

Camp would end and you would go back home and more often than not the week of fun would end in a month long stay at the hospital. I visited and sat by to hold your hand as my petite little bubbly friend suffered. You hated the hospital but you never let the staff know because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Only ever did you admit it when they were gone and it was just us.

Our whole childhood was like this. Then we became adults together and things only got worse.

They said you wouldn’t make it to twenty-five. I watched as you beat those odds. I also watched people drift in and out of your life. Friends. Guys. Family. By the time we were twenty-six you had been engaged twice. Left twice. Because who wanted to marry a dying girl?

I will always hate them for that.

Who could not love the girl who found my lap at every event and plopped down in it to giggle and talk about life? To silently judge everyone, to laugh about the latest gossip and to share about how life was going. You genuinely listened, cared, and loved.

Then the best news. After cystic fibrosis had ruled over your life from the moment you were born, you were finally getting NEW lungs!!!

New lungs meant no more dying girl stigmas. It meant getting to go on girl trips without the fear of the hospital at the end of it. It meant getting married together. Having kids and raising them together. Experiencing more of life…together.

I was overjoyed for you. Your new lungs were awesome. Perfect in fact. You were finally living life at the speed you wanted to.

We planned a girls trip with all of the joy of being able to fully enjoy it together that October in 2022. A few weeks passed and I decided to check in but never heard back. Finally my phone dinged one day. “Rain check on the girls trip? I’m in the hospital.”

The dreaded sterile place. The place that smelled like crap and bad food. We hated that place. Then the words came that forever will haunt me “rejection”. “My body is rejecting my new lungs.” The news didn’t even come from you. Family members had to notify me because you were too weak to.

Not that. Anything but that. This felt like too big of a problem. They put you on lockdown. You slowly slipped away, refusing to be put back on the donor list, you just seemed to dwindle away. You were tired and I didn’t blame you. Tired of fighting but mostly just coming face to face with the reality that maybe this was the end of your story.

And then you were just gone one night. I’ve never wept that hard before. I didn’t get to say bye or hug you or hold your hand. Or tell you how much you meant to me. The last vision I got to have is you in a casket, fully open to show off how meticulously you planned for your death. And it suited you Jay.

A emerald green designer dress. Curls. Heels. Jaymie from head to toe. Beautiful. Stunning. A light to many even in a cold casket.

But I won’t remember you that way. To me you’re forever the girl who always plopped down in my lap and loved me with the entirety of your heart. So much so that 2 years later. I still feel it. And I know I always will.

[pwblogarchive]

November 2004

November 2, 2004

“Complaining Couldnt Touch This Kid.”

i would feel bad ever telling anyone what to do. i have thought for months what i would say or how i should act- ive thought and thought. i don’t like kerry or bush (i like kerry alot more than bush though). i am going to vote for john kerry. i won’t beg you or tell you to do anything. but if you are of voting age and are in a swing state. please think hard and make the choice that fits you best.

peter

November 3, 2004

your princess is in another castle

happyhalloween

November 3, 2004

5:47 pm

booyah

November 4, 2004

“brothers and sisters.”

the smell of fall. leaves. the weakerthans show- "the sidewalks watching me think about you". both ewok movies back to back. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. the things they write about me versus how it really goes. the book being in my hands- how we all feel in our skin. sometimes when you're caught you just gotta throw your hands up and confess. the way you smile when you say his name like you never do with me. new songs.

peterpumpkineater

November 7, 2004

“things that mean other things always don't mean a damn thing in the scheme of things”

being home is always a rollercoaster for me. things are good, then ok, then pretty bad, then good, then bad again (not always in that order). im getting by more latley on a pair of really thick glasses and no faith in human beings. as of now i have a pro-tools situation and have been recording things, mostly just making up stuff on the go and seeing how it turns out. so far its fun. ive had a lot of my mind as of latley, just how there's so much good that turns straight to bad and im always like this the night before i leave. certain things are constant struggles for me but i keep fighting them and i dont know why sometimes when i end up feeling wrecked, but i guess my brain is trying to tell me that the few struggles i take on are worth fighting. i dunno anymore. i hope so though, because no one should feel unhappy like i do at a time like this. im not unhappy with my life, just unhappy with an aspect of it. otherwise things are pretty ok. i took my dog ben on a walk today and he was running around a lot. i picked him up a few times though he is getting far too large for that and will so be too heavy. i saw some of my friends today, not everyone that i wanted to or everyone as long as i would like to. but the people i spent my time with were more than worthy of it. the one thing that bugs me about going away for long periods of time is when i get home i feel like everything has changed around me to a degree where i cant keep up. like im a step behind every time i get home. eh, late night thoughts.

November 11, 2004

“drop it like its hot”

The day spent dreading flying. I am scared to fly for some reason. Make it to las vegas. Our flight to l.a. Was cancelled. Drove from vegas to l.a. Began working on the songs. Me and patrick are sharing an apartment here, so are joe and andy. Its like old times. The weather is amazing. There are so many good shows here. Went to over it. Gonna try and see morrissey in a couple of days. Hung out with my friend kate from the fight. She's rad. We went up on muholand drive and saw the entire city. It made me feel like I couldn't breathe. She says the word "vitamins" funny cause she's british. She also say the word "safe" a lot and calls sneakers trainers. Their record comes out next week. I command you to buy it. I miss home but this record is going to be worth it. I promise. Its going to make you think about things in a new way.

Sorry for the boring journal entry. I realize I didn't get the closure I wanted from take this to your grave. This record will have the most brutally honest words I have ever written.

That's all. Lets get hitched and grow old.

Peterpan

November 14, 2004

“I've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your fucking mouth”

We've got about 23 songs right now. Were gonna cut it down and figure them out. Its strange staying in one place for so long. If you're watching tv tommorrow- we snuck some tickets for the american music awards- I'm sure well be like a million rows back but well try to start a fight or spill a drink on someone famous on camera so you can get a laugh. I'm sure they'll never let us stop by again...

Peterpumpkineater

November 15, 2004

“finally an entry that doesnt involve joe's general tso's chicken”

the AMAs were less than interesting as i am sure anyone who watched knows. ana nicole smith was fucking faded as hell. it was like watching a blondehaired trainwreck. walked onto the red carpet by accident but we are so unfamous that we didn't even get in trouble. got to eat good food and people watch at stupid parties. hung out with my buddy chad and some kids. watched kanye west with like thirty other people- kanye west is amazing. im getting pretty sleepy. maybe ill think of something better in the morning.

im

just

out

of

chances

p

November 15, 2004

we only do it for the attention.

I'm just a broken emo record.

Time to retreat to other areas.

You know where to find. Or maybe you don't.

me and patrick are gonna go cry and hold hands.

Wink. Smile.

Peter

November 17, 2004

4:16 pm

“after the party theres the hotel lobby”

yeahyeahyeah. we're becoming so l.a. psyche! anyway. i dont have much to say except the weather is radical here. after our chicago metro show on dec 29- we're gonna have an after party and prescreen the release the bats dvd- maybe youll hear about it and stop by. youll laugh. youll cry.

laterskater

November 24, 2004

“its too bad you only look so goddamned beautiful when you're crying your eyes out”

i am going to do a better update soon. but just to say- the recording is coming along. andy is almost done with drums. his hair is so flowing. like a pony. nyc was amazing as usual. we have some suprises coming up. (if you don't like suprises than you also probably don't like saturdays, palm trees, puppies, ice cream, first kisses, etc). fuse was fun. thanks for coming out and hanging out, i felt pretty dorky and was a glad there were some people there. im sorry i had to leave right from there to my plane, so i am sorry i couldn't stick around and hang out. we'll be there all day on dec. 26th to make up for it. also, it was definitely weird being anywhere with out the rest of the band so don't expect too much of that. we are attatched at the hip.

you can get "the boy with the thorn in his side" at select hottopic's starting this week. if yours doesn't have it, ask them to order it for you.

more later. peter

oh yeah to the girl who gave me the signed morrissey picture and jetted before i could thank, THANK YOU.

November 26, 2004

their eyes are like pills. its funny. the blue ones take to you down. the brown ones pick you up. it doesn't even make a whole lot of sense looking back on it now. there are a couple of sets of eyes that are like bookmarks in life. they are there to mark the chapters. highlights so you pay attention to the changes. dogeared pages. the way she looked at me the first time- all the blood ran out of me. with the biggest eyes. that trusted and believed and dreamed and hoped and lived. so i blinked. i faked like i couldnt tell. i was always so goddamned scared to see my own flaws reflected on them. and i cant count the times i crushed them. and you realize that they will never look up at you the same.

i cant blame you for giving up on me.

join the club.

i have a lifetime membership.

- petey

November 28, 2004

“professor murder”

ok so my new shoes are kind of bad looking. but i like them. both are dunks. one are lowtops and pretty much are bears colors, the others are high tops and are white and blue. i own way more than 5 bad pairs of shoes. i own about 11 that only i enjoy and are not here to impress anyone. they know i love them and i let them know that at least once a day. maybe ill take a group picture of them for you if i get around to it. what i really wanted to say is im sorry i got into xbox so late, but i just wanted everyone to know that just because i started play knights of the old republic 4 days ago doesn't mean i haven't almost beaten it yet. because im just that close. and i made sure to buy the new lord of the rings rpg for such cases where i will need a new video game. but when kotor2 comes out, i will be learning so many force powers you'll wish the force was with you too. but its not. its mostly with me. my dog gets to have some too cause he can jump really high and can still be picked up even though he is teetering on 70 pounds at only 5 months. good job ben! you're growing up! he's probably more a dark jedi because he still nips a little and thinks it's real cool to pee when he gets excited. sorry ben, not cool my friend. just funny. anyhoo, its been a while since ive given a list of what i currently enjoy. here is such a list:

music:

owen-i do perceive

aloha-here comes everyone

pig destroyer-terrifyer

brian wilson-smile

interpol-antics

isis-panopticon

tusk-tree of no return

frank zappa-broadway the hard way

video games:

star wars knights of the old republic-xbox

lord of the rings the third age-ps2

star wars jedi academy II-xbox

grand theft auto san andreas-ps2

dvds:

aqua teen season 3

home movies season 1

arrested development season 1

star wars 2: clone wars

tv:

tom goes to the mayor

internet:

yahoo mail

food:

chicken in most any form

[mylifebeingautistic]

book review: The Cassandra Complex by Holly Smale

Cassie is having the worst day of her life. She is dumped by her boyfriend and fired from her job. Worse, her favourite cafe has run out of her staple banana muffins. She then discovers that she has a magical power: she can time travel to the past.

The book follows Cassie as she tries to fix her life and ensure that the original disastrous day doesn't happen. But things end up going much differently than she had planned.

I found Cassandra to be a really relatable character. I've seen some reviews saying that they didn't like her constant references and infodumps about Greek mythology, but I really enjoyed these, a) because I'm also interested in Greek mythology and b) because I can relate to constantly wanting to bring up my special interests in every conversation, even when they're not particularly relevant! I was surprised that she didn't know she was autistic the whole time, and it was treated more as a reveal at the end.

My favourite thing about the book is the plot twist that's revealed towards the end. I don't want to spoil it, but if you're considering not reading/finishing the book because you think it's all about Cassie getting her ex-boyfriend back, keep reading! There is more to it than that, and it was a really interesting plot.

From this point on, I will be discussing spoilers and quotes from The Cassandra Complex. If you don't want to see those, stop reading here!

I don't think we talk enough, as a species, about how ridiculously difficult it is to make basic conversation. People act like it should be fun, but it isn't.

This is so true! I've always been so bad at conversation. I don't understand how it comes so naturally to other people. I wish there was some rulebook for how to make a conversation, but I think that even if I followed each rule to the letter, I would still feel like I was doing something wrong.

An older lady with grey hair in a neat bun is standing right next to me, also staring at the menu. And I mean right next to me. She's not touching, but she's so close her personal gravitational field feels like it's made out of hot needles. Why do people always do this? What is wrong with them? I can't buy a cheese sandwich in Sainsbury's without a total stranger standing so close I can smell what they use as shower gel.

I also found this so relatable. I think a lot of autistic people have a different sense of personal space to allistic people, and someone standing a bit too close to us can feel so overwhelming, or (as in Cassie's experience) physically painful.

I suddenly realise: I'm not travelling through time to undo the things I've done wrong, or the decisions I've made. I am trying to undo myself.

When Cassandra came to this realisation!!! It's really interesting to think about: most times she travels back to redo something, it's because she had a bad sensory experience and got upset, or because she said something 'wrong', which are just characteristics that are a part of her. It's so sad that society makes us as autistic people feel like we're not good enough, and that we have to change somehow in order for people to like us. When in reality it's society that needs to change, to be more understanding and accepting of autistic people.

"That's OK," I say, standing up. "I don't think that was the relationship the universe was telling me to fix anyway."

I really liked this reveal! When Cassie figures out that the relationship with Will wasn't ever supposed to work out, but that she is meant to fix her relationship with her sister, Artemis. And I loved the whole healing journey that the two sisters go on together, and how they resolve the issues that had driven them apart.

My eyes suddenly fill. "You believe me?"

This moment was so good! If you're familiar with the Cassandra story from mythology, you'll know that her main thing is not being believed. So this moment was so important! And I loved that Cassie and Sal had built up a relationship in this new timeline, such that they were friends and Sal would take her side instead of Derek's.

"People think autism is some kind of error, and it's not. You're not broken or 'disordered', or whatever they say on their little bits of paper. That just means 'not exactly like me'"

I loved Artemis in this moment! She was exactly what Cassie needed at this point, to tell her that she wasn't broken, she was good enough just as she was.

"Bye," Artemis nods, taking a deep breath. "Bye," I smile. And I close my eyes to go back to the beginning.

I'll be honest, the one thing I didn't like about the book was this ending. I feel like Artemis and Will's relationship could have been fixed some other way. Because with this ending, everything that Cassandra has gained is undone, and she has to do it all over again. She's going to lose her new friends, Sal and Sophie, her newly mended relationship with her sister, and she'll have to do all the work towards pursuing her dream of going to university all over again. I felt like everything she'd gained over the course of the book was undone, and I didn't like it.

In general I'm just not a fan of sad or uncertain endings. I like everything to be resolved and happy at the end of the book.

But that's all just my opinions. What did you think of The Cassandra Complex?

[ebdanon]

looove the tattoo allie, and congrats on coming out I missed it too <3

I'm back with a lore update, as my mother in law managed to have a whole monologue in front of me to tell me how she's a God-fearing woman, she prays morning and night, and the lord always protects her and makes her wishes come true and how she goes to church for every holiday and whatever else she does.

I'm not religious because it doesn't make sense to me. Also I prayed a lot as a kid to make the suffering for me ans my loved ones a lot smaller and it never really worked, so that really did me in. But her monologues did remind me of my father (who's quite religious) telling me that true Christians don't brag about what they do with their religion and I almost burst out laughing when my mother in law was telling me all that stuff when I remember that. As a kid I learned that your relationship between the God you believe in is between you and that God and it's bad if you brag about it. Although I'm pretty sure every religion teaches people to be humble.

Anyway, the second time she did a monologue, she managed to jump into talking about her own sister in law (who she thinks is a witch) and started talking shit about her. Now, I've heard a few stories and I know she's not a great woman, but a witch? C'mon, I used to be into eastern philosophy too, like she allegedly is (I'm 100% sure my mother in law went snooping in her home when she had a chance years ago and found a book on chakras and stuff like that which made her think so) but that's a far cry from any sort of witchcraft. She talked about the kind of photos her sister in law shares on social media and how it's inappropriate for her to wear revealing clothes when you're so old and overweight, and make suggestive poses. I think the woman is a little extra from what I saw (kinda reminds me of what millennial teenagers used to post on Facebook (like me) every time they went out) but I don't really care about the details of the photos or captions.

Anyway, my mother in law expressed the idea about my being a witch to her daughter a couple of weeks ago. My mother in law has a bit of a drinking problem, as I've mentioned. Two weeks ago she slipped and fell into the oven and broke the oven door. I've seen her slip and fall a couple of other times and it's always when she's piss drunk. My husband and I were out of the house when this happened, we came back about 30mins after it happened. She went to a doctor the next day, she had a mild concussion but no serious injuries. She went around the house with holy water spraying some in every room to make the house safer. Sure, whatever, I don't care. But she was barely standing she was so dizzy and started an argument with everyone when we all suggested we take her to a doctor immediately. Nope, she had to vacuum up the glass first, wash her hair in case there was more glass, call a few more people to chat, and did the holy water thing before going to bed.

She has explained her fall as "some supernatural force pushing and tripping her". When we came back after being out, you could smell the alcohol on her breath so I'm sure that was the reason. When she told her daughter (my sister in law that then tells my husband and I all the shitty things their parents say about us lmao) she insinuated that it was my fault because something is off about me. My mother in law also complained to my husband that her phone has been slow since the fall (the phone also fell), but she told her daughter that her phone is surely possessed by the devil. She also told everyone that it "feels heavier since then" which makes 0 sense but okay sure.

I know she's bothered by my very existence, it's been apparent for years but she never directly says it to me. Years ago my husband decided to bleach his hair for fun, we were together for about a year back then, and years later he told me that his mom thought I made him bleach it. Because of that I'm sure she thinks I made him get a tattoo too. Sometimes when she's screaming about whatever is bothering her at the moment, she'll slip and tell my husband how I'm fucking him over, but always when I'm not in the room. Jokes on her, she's so loud, I can still hear her even though I have hearing issues.

Okay let me end this here, next time I'm gonna tell you the crap I've heard her say about me and my family when she's on her various screaming rants (parents, grandparents, sister, cousins, aunts, etc, yes she has a whole list of people from my family that bother her lmao)

Have an amazing weekend <3

religious people who have to rub it in your face ab how religious or whatever they are (mainly christians) are so annoying. i grew up catholic so i ran into a lot of those people and your mother in law sounds like a nightmare. also the way you got blamed for his choices is crazy like doesnt bro know how to think for himself mom 😭

also…… ngl if you gotta complain about everyone else then i think its fair to look at the common denominator but your mother in law doesnt seem like the type for self reflection despite that being pretty important in christianity (unless im wrong about other denominations bc im speaking from catholic experience)

also thank ya darling :) i think it turned out really nice im very pleased with it. have a good weekend lovely 🫶