#also now im working on a little something bc im invested again

[devilbombers]

One of the best decisions I ever made was to finally pursue mainly drawing original art. I had no idea until recently that investing yourself in making ocs and enjoying your own work is the highest form of self love so I feel really good about my art and myself

Its very fun and satisfying to constantly explore my own interests and understanding more and more about the things I like and want to put out in the world.

Its hilarious to constantly find myself in situations where I'm laughing at my own jokes with my characters and not caring that nobody else gets it. I didnt know making inside jokes with yourself could ever be a thing but it is now for me.

I ofc have nothing against fanartists (more power to them, live ur truth whatever) but personally I always found drawing fanart a bit pointless bc I dont like spending so much time and energy on just fanart. Also at the time when i wouldnt stop drawing only fanart I happened to be really young; so i sort of associate personally drawing fanart as something sort of childish to do? So I kinda stopped doing it as often bc it feels a little childish to do at my age idk.

The anime/manga scene has become extremely uninspired and dry to me as of late so im finally coming down from really getting too crazy about that shit anymore. So I feel like im finally growing up because of it lmao

I dont regret spending less time drawing fanart now but its only a little sad to me bc from my own findings i realize as an artist its only really possible to make internet friends if youre obsessed with big anime/manga series or whatever. And it only sucks bc i kind of really miss having internet friends.

I thought abt it again and apparently I know a lot of people irl. But to my misfortune none of them really text which really sucks bc I realized recently i really like texting.

I really wish i could spam ppl more often with ny dumbass pictures i have on my phone or whatever but Idgaf abt anything other than my ocs, new manga and music so im kinda stuck in place 💀

[lyretheinstrument]

Finished batch one of tfe season 2 and honestlyyyyyyyhhh..,.

(first batch review and opinions)

(cut to avoid spoilers)

it's rough compared to the first season. I genuinely believe it's not the creators fault and they probably got mega rushed and a ton of budget cuts.

This season was definitely more Terran focused and I don't minddd that?? because it is their show. but I do wish legacy characters got a bit of spotlight. I know prowls coming in batch two so I hope he gets a fair share of screentime. again, I know it’s supposed to focus on the Terrans but I feel that if your gonna include the cybertronians can you try to use them a little more ? otherwise don’t have them at all yk /lighthearted

but personal grievances aside for a moment the writing was ROUGH. I know it's a kids show but almost all the episodes felt weirdly paced, awkward, and babyish?? and the animation downgrade doesn't make it any better.

honestly a lot of it was just really distracting and I couldn't really focus on the story. Also the story itself felt kinda, unfocused? idk maybe that's a personal thing as well. I found it kinda hard to get invested. The Terrans I only really like are twitch thrash and nightshade. jawbreaker is fucking insufferable. I’m sorry.

I noticed a lot of the issues in the episodes could have been easily solved. That is NOTT something u want an audience to feel.. a simple communication or action could have easily prevented an issue in an episode. :/

personal grievances back infront IM SO MAD BEE GOT LIKE ZERO SCREENTIME

Optimus episode was cute tho I like it when characters shit on jawbreaker

I don't mind the cons being villains but if you’re gonna have them as villains can you give them more personality and screentime. also a lot of the decepticons felt bland or out of character.

A fun and interesting plot line we could have had (at least in my opinion) is decepticon infighting. It felt bizarre to me that soundwave and shockwave just fell in line when starscream assumed leadership. IDK!! I feel like the three would be arguing over who would be leader?? Correct me if I’m wrong on this I might he looking at this all wrong. </3

honestly I had like zero interest in spitfire and aftermath but at LEAST aftermath had a new design (GLARES AT SHAMELESS TWITCH RECOLOR).

like I’m not even upset that twitch and spitfire have the same/similar alt modes because it works w them being literal parallels of eachother. I’m just mad it’s just a straight up (lowk ugly) recolor. it just doesn’t work for me personally. Especially bc a good redesign could immediately fix a lot of my issues with it. like make her sharper or give her different patterns and adjust the color placement SOMETHING BRO.

that concludes my disorganized ramble for now. I’m excited to see everyone’s thoughts on the first batch of season two and I remain optimistic for the second half :3

side note:

I LOVE YOU BUMBLEBEE I LOVE U SO MUCH AND ALSO IM SOOO HAPPY RAVAGE GOT CONFIRMED AS FEMALE ILY GIRL CAT RAVAGE

[eatingtheworldsoffanfiction]

SOMEONE PLEASE!!! I THOUGHT I SAVED A GHOST X READER FIC ON HERE BEFORE I LEFT TO GET FOOD AND CLOSED MY APP BUT EITHER TUMBLR LOST IT OR I DIDNT DOUBLE TAP TO HEART IT (I swear I did tho and I saw the heart but whatever)

I'll give a TW for SA here bc it is in the story, and im sorry, but I will have it as the 6, 7, and 10 bullet points if you want to skip. Mainly 6 but 7 and 10 may be implied.

Anyway this is what I remember:

They were friends for awhile, specifically mentions their age gap like 14 reader / 17 simon when they were growing up

Which I think was when it was mentioned she had a crush on him/told him when they were hanging out at that age and he rejected her by calling her an idiot and to get that idea out of her head

Reader in the beginning has a hard time making herself cum/thinking she was broken

She works at a bar

Doesn't have a lot of money, ate cup of noodles that simon wasn't happy about (he gives her money for groceries)

She is serving a table of drunk rowdy guys right before she leaves her shift and they rip her shirt and grope her. Her boss gets mad at her and makes her apologize

Her coworker gives her a hoodie to wear

She cries a lot, simon comes to check on her bc she didn't answer her phone and he holds her

He asks her what's wrong she says bad day, and he's like "I don't know what's worse that you're lying to me or that you feel like you can't talk to me about what happened" ? Not verbatim

He ends up seeing her shirt when she takes off the hoodie and she goes throws up and then showers

He stands guard at the door

Gets her to eat a little

Eventually, she tells him before they sleep

Next day they're on the couch and she's thinking about kissing him. Goes to shower again and then nap??

I read a little past that point, I think Simon goes for a walk?? But I was working on food and not really paying attention, lol. It was really long I think that was little over half way of that part.

I'm currently scrubbing through my FYP on tumblr, seeing if it'll pop up again. I'm so sad, I was so invested 😢 I've tried so many combinations to search it too with no luck. Although I have found several other posts that I'm now adding to my reading list. So if ya see me reblogging your stuff that might be why.

I also definitely found the fic bc someone sent an ask about it and it was a blurb or something about a part of the story I think.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/29/2023

my ENTIRE SUMMER has been either worrying about moving or actually moving. ALL OF IT. however an incredibly hot butch milf on the gay community bulletin board/dating app lex has finally answered my piteous call for gun safety classes with an invitation to her private range. unfortunately she is a landlord who owns a VERY large apartment complex. houston is a land of contrasts

listening

more joywave! one of my favorite bands bc they are best listened to in full album format, and i did a fuck of a lot of driving this weekend. little lies you’re told has an opening like a big machine warming up while you are in a control room way high up on a gantry somewhere. spotify

-

reading (2x bonus round)

All The Trimmings by Tesni Morgan (published 2001 in the UK) is a gift from @believerindaydreams. it is “erotic fiction written by women for women” (debatable) and “the publishers recommend that this book should be sold only to adults”. also, “Black Lace novels contain sexual fantasies. In real life, make sure you practise safe sex.” idk i’ve ever seen that kind of notation on an american novel before? fascinating precursor to the saccharine little “stay safe kids” ao3 authors notes

i do find the premise genuinely fun and compelling— two divorced milfs opening a hotel/bordello with historically themed rooms. i have had to look up a lot of british purple prose and i refuse to believe anyone says “rogering” in real life.

im being edged with glimmerings of bisexuality. every time one of the milfs gets turned on and goes out roaming to distract herself from being turned on, i go “oh?” like at a pokemon go egg, but so far all the dalliances and encounters have been dudes.

had a very strange experience with cormac mccarthy's blood meridian. i don’t normally interrogate whether or not i am the intended audience for a work except when it’s literally made for children, bc i as a modern bisexual woman am the intended audience for vanishingly few works. for example, many entire genres (westerns) are very challenging to enjoy.

a western has never made me go "wait so why DO i like westerns at all" so hard. like, what AM i doing here in this genre that is often deeply fucking uncomfortable to consume as a woman, and where the most foundational american and european works of the genre often uncritically embrace the worst parts of the american mythos in the most violent way possible? i do believe critics when they say mccarthy is not embracing violence for the sake of, and in fact has something to say with his revisionist western, but my god is it hard to wade through. anyway, dad media will not fuck me and i still have only a tenuous grasp on why i try so hard to glean enjoyment from it.

i know what mccarthy is trying to do and the overall tone of “weird old maybe-uncle” spinning a yarn to a big group of you and your cousins around a fire somewhere is pretty effective. unfortunately I have less tolerance for mccarthy’s style now than when I read The Road thirteen years ago in high school. i was immediately super invested in The Road’s single dad and how he and his kid were surviving, which does not need a lot of interiority.

blood meridian also has very little interiority. the first five chapters are a teen falling in and out of various fights. i was not, and am still not invested. if im reading A Man Goes On A Journey western (as opposed to A Stranger Comes to Town western) i would like to know two or three things about the man, especially if it seems to be angling at a bildungsroman. i don't typically care for third-person objective narration when it is this closely focused on one guy, and i really don't care for loving descriptions of maggots. comforting to know a lot of critics were also squicked out by this book. so it goes.

-

watching

finished watching s1 of spy x family! a Legally Not West German spy in Legally Not East Berlin has to go into deep cover and pose as a family man in order to gain access to Legally Not Erich Honecker, because the only social events Legally Not Erich Honecker goes to are the ones at his son's elite prep school.

this man FLINGS himself into being the absolute best husband and father possible. for the mission, of course.

i found the first few episodes the best, which is generally the opposite of my normal anime experience. i think it does a really good job of balancing high-octane spy hijinks and chases and explosions with very domestic concerns (he PROPOSES. with a THE RING OFF A HAND GRENADE. AFTER THROWING IT), and once you're really hooked on these characters it turns into a bit of a curtainfic. curtainanime? i had fun with all of it and anxiously await season two, but the actual applied spycraft does drop off significantly as the series goes on.

-

playing

we're going to continue with out of context genshin screencaps for the duration. the watery land of fontaine has a neat smorgsabord of visual style-- freshwater but also saltwater but also the aquarium section at petsmart.

-

making

unpacking mostly. acquired this coffee table and its mother. needs a very deep cleaning and some touchups but is intact. the individual tables are a bit large for like individual party drinks tables but all six together are QUITE large. four tigether would be a comfortable coffee table size for many apartments imo but! bc everything truly is bigger in Texas including my apartment it works for right now. for the first time in my life i am considering a sectional sofa bc the living/dining room is that dang big.

[taexual]

im getting real tired of oc acting like she has everything under control and is this amazing manger when all she does is order people around and can’t be serious when it comes to confrontations. i mean she yells and questions others for their behavior but they have to draw the line when it comes to her? that’s hypocritical. her saying that she was hiding behind the bet and only bc she was scared of jungkook‘s feelings being real is and was obvious from the very beginning but she also lied to herself again i mean let’s wake it up right?

how come YOU work with your ex boyfriend that is in a band that YOU are the manager of and allow YOURSELF to work with when YOU act like YOU don’t care about him, while YOU also try to control him for petty sht that has mostly to 65% nothing to do with the work environment. she always wants others to give her time and let her get her thoughts right before she has to talk but others for example jungkook has always an ultimatum like what is wrong with her and her entire mental health atp? im on jungkooks side with, that yes i as a reader am tired too if her acting like she doesn’t want to be with him when that’s all she wants but she‘s selfish (in my opinion no shade) bc she wants to see him beg a little more to avoid a) the confrontation about their fucked up relationship that happened from both sides and b) bc it makes her feel worthy of something again bc he didn’t care about her enough in those 4 years he was with others right? then yeah i wouldn’t give my time and energy to get that kind of person back and not bc jungkook wants to be better for her he needs to be better for himself and her never giving him that reassurance is unfair and disgusting bc she can want that from him right?

like i seriously need people like her to just either be direct or get out of that persons life forever. she sees that jungkook has other SERIOUS issues like his mental health and addiction to always downgrade himself as not worthy for any-little-thing but all she focuses on is „omg u did a bet now i can’t be with you and also bc nick wants me on the renaissance tour so ughhh idk everything is so heavy and omg i fainted am having so much stress ugh:((„ like shut the fuck up. she knew what she was getting into when she signed the contract for being a manager could she know how much stress she was getting into? no but that’s no here or there bc she allowed herself to not have a break that is on nobody but herself.

i have so much to discuss about her character but i really don’t want to just know that im tired of her and also thank you for writing something that’s truly new and fresh! i like this story it makes us think and have thoughts about the the chapters in general so yeah i hope you don’t get offended of how i view oc i don’t want to bash your characters ig it just that everyone has a different opinion in certain matters right? still thank you and have a great day! ☺️😊

omg babe you are having some very very interesting thoughts!!!! thank you for reading and for getting invested!!!!!!! 🥺🥺

the characters will have a discussion about a lot of the things that you mentioned soon--mostly in the next chapter--so i'm not going to elaborate much, but again, some very interesting points!! they are people with clear issues, and insecurities ranging from their past relationship to parental trauma to toxic friends. you know what i mean?? and i can't wait to show you what's nextttt!!!! 🤍🤍🤍

adding a spoiler bc i feel like it 🤌🏻

baby you said oc "can’t be serious when it comes to confrontations" and that is going to be one of the key plot points in the upcoming chapters!!!!

their whole relationship, they dealt with the chronic let's-not-talk-about-this illness, you know?? and jungkook is overcoming it! but now that's coming back to bite oc a little bit, because not only does she have to talk too, but she also has to face her demons from the broken relationship she had grown up in

[feuqueerfire]

GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase

GMMTV 2024 Part 1 Reaction

April 23, 2024

When I watched Part 1 I was barely into series and watched certain trailers that I thought might be interesting but this time I'm planning on watching it live and am so into watching shows again.

The actors I'm actively following right now are Fourth and Gemini, along with some Phuwin (and by extension PondPhuwin) but none of them are getting ship work. So I'm mostly just gonna be there for the stories and concepts we get (though I'm curious about the GemPrim series and what Fourth is gonna be in). I hope I'm really excited by some concept (like The Warp Effect) or a cast/ship (like a surprise one).

Anticipation Ranking:

My Top 3:

The Heart Killers (BL) [omg KhaoFirst (and Joongdunk) in a show directed by Jojo where they commit crimes and possibly are there for nefarious reasons etc]

The Ex-Morning (BL) [KristSingto + exes-to-lovers ahhhhh]

US (GL) [it seems so moody and angsty and I love Emi's face]

Okay I lied it's Top 4:

Thame-Po (BL) [love a celebrity/idol romance and the trailer is so good and also I'm suddenly invested in William/Est]

Interested, will watch if it turns out well:

Hide & Sis (ensemble, women-focus, by Snap25, dark)

Revamp (BL) [hope they do the supernatural aspect well]

The Dark Dice (ensemble) [Alice in Wonderland vibes, hope it's done well]

Only if they get glowing reviews:

Ossan's Love TH (BL)

Friendshit Forever (messy - 2 pairs)

Break-Up Service

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (BL)

Not Really Interested:

Leap Day

Perfect 10 Liners (BL)

Scarlet Heart TH

Trailer-by-trailer thoughts below the cut.

Ended up waking up at 5:30am while the live started at 6:20am and the first trailer released at 6:35am lol

It’s fine tho bc my semester is over, i was afraid it’d happen before im done my exam or worse, on exam day.

Oh, Yfind project which looks for plots for novels and series? and some fandom name in Thailand?

Title: Ossan’s Life trailer

Pair: Earth/Mix

Did I know about this? Yes

Thoughts: omg? I didn’t realize Earth is the one who’s being pursued by Mix and the boss character, I thought it’d be Mix! this is fun. oh, putting on someone’s shoe scene. I finally know what the show is about because of The Conversation Podcast’s episode on it yesterday and this seems in line with the Japanese version. Very comedic, so we’ll see how it goes.

Title: Leap Day

Pair: Dew/Pahn, Pond & Gun

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: Could be interesting but I’m not super into it yet because it doesn’t seem super developed yet beyond the concept of “people around them die.”

Title: The Heart Killers

Pair: Khao/First, Joong/Dunk

Did I know about this? Yes, specifically some sort of KhaoFirst series directed by Joni

Thoughts: I’M SO EXCITED! I was watching the whole trailer while intrigued and giggling. It’s definitely something I want from KhaoFirst, something a little risqué and has some actual plot while it’s different from anything JoongDunk have done so far, so i’d be curious to see how it goes. I hope the actual plot ends up good ahh. I’ll try not to get too attached to the mock trailer bc things will probably be different but I really like it. The song was covered in My School President but the vibe is different here.

After Rewatch: I definitely understood more after the rewatch because on my first watch I was so excited that I definitely missed some scenes and dialogue there loll I'm soooo excited for criminal killer brothers Khao and Joong, tattooist First who is trying to get dirt on them to clear his own car debt record, and Dunk who has been unleashed upon Joong to distract him from KhaoFirst in exchange for a car. KhaoFirst were my pull when I first watched it and they still are because I fucking love to see them on screen but I definitely got the JoongDunk thing more in this watch. Love to see Dunk be wild (kissing Joong when he's threatening him etc) and bold and actually take action this time while Joong is the one who is evasive, a different dynamic than their usuals. I... will try to enjoy this one regardless of plot to be honest lol because people were like meh on the Only Friends storyline. I think it'll help knowing that it's a Romcom with a side of drama rather than an assassin/crime plot with side of romance. I'm also not looking forward to KhaoFirst and JoongDunk's fandoms possibly fighting based on like screentime/acting prowess/"better treatment" and favouritsm/etc. but hopefully it'll turn out okay. I actually don't mind that KhaoFirst got a 2-pair main lead instead of a solo pair show because the pairs seem very connected with each other. Seems like it's inspired by Taming of the Shrew and 10 Things I Hate About You rather than a novel. I wonder if I should watch 10TIHAY just to see what references and such they put in.

A few hours later and I just watched 10 Things I Hate About You lol I get the "date my older brother so that we can date" thing now. I suppose Dunk's character is the "wild" character who can handle his brother Joong's character.

Title: Friendshit Forever

Pair: messy

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: Mook and Pat and New and Boun. It Could be good but idk if i’ll watch it. Pat playing a character who is a shitty friend, a la PSIHY. Title reminds me of Dead Friend Forever. I will say the best part of the trailer was the first few seconds when I was wondering if we’d get a Pat/Mook GL.

Title: Perfect 10 Liners

Pair: Force/Book, Perth/Chimon, girl too many

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: It could be good but I don’t care about any of the actors or pairings in this. PerthChimon were the most intriguing in this though, I liked the parallel on”Are you dating anyone?” Directed by New Siwat, yeah dunno about this one tbh. bruh so many people on stage, were they all actually there in the trailer? There are a bunch of side BL couples in addition to the main 3? crazy fr. and they couldn’t throw in a side GL either?

Apparently this is gonna be 30 eps with 10 eps each of ForceBook, MarkJunior, and PerthChimon... gonna take months and months to air fr, meaning stuff could have to wait while this show keeps airing... agh. or maybe this could prevent another rerun so who knows.

Title: Us

Pair: gorgeous girls who i don’t know the names of. Emi/Bonnie

Did I know about this? I knew about a possible Emi/Bonnie GL but I didn’t know who they were. hm Us, did we expect this novel as well, I vaguely remember having seen this novel rumored to be a series.

Thoughts: GL? These GLs being about your brother/sister’s girlfriends. omg she’s the one pairing the postcards? ahhh GL KISS IN TRAILER! Oh I’m excited and also love the short haired girl’s face sooooo much. Another melodramatic GL a la Pluto, I’m looking forward to it! Is this by the same author as GAP/Pluto/Blank? People always mention how problematic her novels are and somebody mentioned they don’t like the source material for this show either but I love a little problematic romance, so we shall see. Fon is the director.

After Rewatch: Went to MDL to double-check that the girl with cropped hair is Emi (she is! beautiful!) and the rights to this were brought like 2 years ago or what? Over a year ago at least since the comments have been waiting for announcement since then. Dang the acquirement rumour was on r/GMMTV back in February last year, so I probably saw it back then. The plot is quite straightforward, seems like it's focused way more on interpersonal relationships. Love the moody, indie nature of the angsty scenes but then they're so charming and bright when they're like happy and together! Also very happy to see like passionate kissing and romantic physical affection between the women even in the trailer, I'm hoping they have great romantic chemistry in the show. Doubt we'll get this one before 2025 though since it's directed by P'Fon and she's directing High School Frenemy right now and also has Scarlet Heart TH to do. I doubt GMMTV would air 3 GLs in a year already lol, so I'm hoping at least Pluto comes out this year and US is one of the first things out last year at the latest.

Title: Hide & Sis

Pair: ensemble and messy, focused on sisters

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: PSIHY flashbacks. Snap25 is in charge of this, which makes sense. Very vibey, eerie, hope it’s good. Focus on morally corrupt women and sisters yay. Pepper/Lookjun are dating IRL right? hehe cute

Title: Thame Po | Heart That Skips A Beat

Pair: Est/William

Did I know about this? That there is expected to be an EstWilliam

Thoughts: Oh, a BL? So many GMMTV people who I don’t know these days. Another idol BL similar to Only Boo but more mature ig? Is this EstWilliam? I’ve seen so many people excited for their BL but idk their faces lol. It’s a Parbdee project? Exciting. I like the vibes of it. I hope they do the celebrity/commoner aspect well, I like an idol romance in theory (and in fic lol) but I don't think I've yet watched one that I've enjoyed.

After Rewatch: I randomly started seeing Est and William posts start popping up on r/GMMTV a few weeks ago and then this master thread was created for it as well. I didn't know who they were (apparently a LYKN boy and a new GMMTV actor with side roles in the past) so I was just mildly curious but it's fun that this came true. When the trailer first started, I didn't know this guy was Est, so I was like oh nooo I don't wanna watch a show about not being able to find jobs and being a loser or something lol but seems like he finds his gig early enough into the show. The trailer is even better on the 2nd watch when I know what's going on lol. The background music really suits it, it stood out to be during the first watch as well. The trailer is 4 minutes and seems fairly fleshed out, I wonder... if we can hope that it's one of the first ones to film from the 2nd half? It's done by Parbdee who have a few projects this year but the director is Mui Aticha who doesn't have anything else lined up for the year since Beauty Newbie? So maybe she can work on this soon? Crazy resume though, The Gifted, F4, Girl From Nowhere, etc. I wonder how she'll do with this one though since it's a more grounded romance like Beauty Newbie (which didn't receive good feedback rip).

Thame is William and Po is Est and from the characters + how people referred to them during the conference after the trailer, seems like they're going for WilliamEst? Interesting because everybody on the subreddit was just reading calling them EstWilliam lol I enjoy them switching it up a bit to play with expectations and cast based on the characters rather than which order people think the people themselves should be. WilliamEstWilliam would've been fun too. The next day and Est has posted pictures with #WilliamEst. Funny to have William-Williamer-Williamest.

I hope the mood and vibe of it being calmer and romantic and the drama from the celebrity idol life remains true, I don't want it to become more light-hearted and comedic, nor do I want it to become Extra Angsty or anything.

Also, it's such a fascinating yet baffling choice to me to have LYKN star as Mars. You're going to have your own boy group act as the group that's getting broken up by their company and who some company exec calls "losers" except the one guy who's gonna debut in Korea? And also, it's gonna show how not being able to date or come out sucks but it's not like GMMTV is gonna change that for LYKN like group, only for Mars the fictional band in the show lol. and fans wouldn't like it if William has a partner other than Est either. hilarious idk

Side note but every time I think of the title Thame-Po, I think of the song Thaam Lo even though the pronunciation isn't the same.

WilliamEst ship: Okay it's the night of the 24th, so it's been like a day but I'm quite into the ship itself idkkk man, I get why people on the gmmtv sub were going crazy about them for the past month. The thing is they're like so shy on stage when talking about the show omg, I enjoy seeing a ship being shy and unsure when first introduced to the public and they haven't quite figured out how to work everything out yet, it's cute. I also have learned that William is a 05 liner while Est is 01 and I need them to have the same age gap in the show pleaseee, I love a younger pursuer character for real. I know Thame calls Po Phi in the trailer though, so we know William plays a younger character at least

Title: Break-Up Service

Pair: Off/Jorin

Did I know about this? No

Thoughts: Fun concept, I’ll wait to hear if it’s good before I watch.

Title: Revamp: The Undead Story

Pair: Boun/Prem

Did I know about this? Yes

Thoughts: Ah, trailer for the BounPrem vampire story and it seems more serious and sinister than the campy nature of the other vampire BL: Golden Blood. Kinda reminds me of Midnight Museum actually. It looks good, I’ll probably give it a watch.

Title: Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist

Pair: Mark/Ohm

Did I know about this? Yes (Mark was hinting at it)

Thoughts: Two BLs back to back? Uni BL with dentistry student Mark based on Jittitain novel. It’s not super intriguing based on the more exciting stories but I need a good easy-watching, cute, uni BL once in a while in between he heavier hits. So this could be that. The trailer just seems long-winded

Title: The Dark Dice

Pair: Gemini/Prim

Did I know about this? Yes

Thoughts: Ohh kinda reminds me of The Gifted and the trailer for Enigma. A high school show about them trapped in some game. Wish there were more girls in the cast though. Less romantic than I thought. I hope it’s good and not like Homeschool which has a Very Good trailer but didn’t get good reviews.

Title: The Ex-Morning

Pair: Krist/Singto

Did I know about this? Yes, KS were shooting mock trailer with P’Lit

Thoughts: girl I was already like hehe KristSingto as expected BUT THEY ATE EXES!!!!! I love exes-to-lovers and it’s kinda funny since it parallels their ship work. huhhh wtf was that random ass car accident? hah I’m excited for this too. We knew the director is P’Lit who directed SOTUS.

After Rewatch: I thought it parallels KS's journey of Singto leaving GMMTV then him coming back and doing a BL with Krist again (kinda of exes-to-lovers if you squint) while the guy-fucks-up-and-is-crucified-on-the-internet could be parallel Krist's journey and turns out P'Aof wrote the script based on Krist Singto themselves, that's wild. The university days drinking pink milk really gives me a visceral reaction. I LOVE the look on Krist's face when he looks back at Singto in the towel and then quickly turns have his face like O.O it's very cute, I giggled the first time too. They seem to show stuff toward the end like with Krist winning the award again and Singto deciding to leave and also this random ass accident (seems like people are trying to kill Krist? What with the random motorcycle guy as well). I don't tend to like too much info in a trailer (over 4 minutes?!) but maybe if it means that we'll get it as one of the earlier part 2 shows because the script is written, I'll take it. I don't know if that's the case though because Aof is overseeing/scriptwriting and he's a busy man (though Director Lit doesn't have other shows I don't think)

Title: Scarlet Heart Thailand

Pair: Tu and ?Win?

Did I know about this? no

Thoughts: Not really a trailer, as they sometimes arent with these remakes. Scot’s are all pretty big hitters, especially Tu and Win, along with some people I’m looking forward to like Fourth, Phuwin, Tay, Nanon. Directed by Fon. I don’t know what this show is about at all though.

Expectations: based on rumours I've seen mostly

GemPrim: Yes

KhaoFirst: Yes

MarkOhm: Yes

EstWilliam: Yes

KristSingto: Yes

a GL: Yes

BounPrem and Wabi Sabi updates: Yes

I'm hoping for a large ensemble cast show centering women (PSIHY and Ploy’s Yearbook to a lesser extent, both by Snap25) or some mystery/sff (Homeschool, Gifted): Yes

My expectations were basic and based on some very well-believed rumours, so I'm not surprised they're correct.

Actor Attendance

Observations:

Interesting to go from watching The Warp Effect where I knew pretty much everybody to these trailers where there are so many people whom I don’t know, including main actors for BLs and GLs (Est/William, Emi/Bonnie). Good chance to get to know them if the shows turn out well though!

On that note, it's always interesting when they choose completely new ships to be the main couple of a show, again like Us and Thame-Po. This also means a lot of the familiar main or side BL couples are in ensemble shows like Perfect 10 Liners (there were so many people in that, I couldn't even keep track of them all).

High School: 1

University: 2

Non-School: 10 (or 11 with Ossan's Love)

Very few school shows comparatively, just 3/13, less than a quarter. That's exciting, I'm especially glad that being out of school doesn't just mean office worker shows lol

The puns never end: Friendshit, Revamped, Hide & Sis, Thame-Po (Tempo - 50% pun), The Ex-Morning. Hilarious that there are more shows with puns in their names than school shows.

Overall:

More shows grabbed my interest in this round I think. It seems like a more somber/serious set of trailers than part 1, which is cool.

Also, most of the trailers seem well-made, not necessarily in terms of story because they don't have full plots and stories yet, but in terms of production/quality.

I just hope the scriptwriting for these shows are strong, especially because they're dealing with interesting concepts like idol romance and exes-to-lovers. The concepts are soooo good but bad screenwriting or a story that doesn't deal with the interesting aspects can make the show fall flat.

I'm also glad that there is a mix of old ships, new ships, and totally new faces for these BLs and GL Like we have shows with established main pairs like KhaoFirst-Joongdunk and Forcebook-PerthChimon in ensemble shows, we have interesting situations like KristSingto which is a returning main couple and BounPrem which is an old series but revamped ;) for their GMMTV debut, but then we have a ship like MarkOhm where Mark has been in multiple shows and ships but he's leading in a series with somebody completely different. Then we have Emi-Bonnie and WilliamEst who are new faces as GMMTV leads and their ships are completely brand new.

In Part 1, it was similar in that we had stuff like main roles for existing ships with OffGun - The Trainee and GeminiFourth - My Love Mix-Up, ensemble with existing ships (We Are - PondPhuwin etc), had existing actors in new ships like OhmLeng in Kidnap or JossGawin in My Golden Blood, we had new ships like GreatInn in Wandee Goodday,

All in all, a good part 2, I'm glad I watched it live, it was exciting and I'm looking forward to these shows (though I'm not holding my breath though lol because part 1 shows still gotta be released). I really like these showcases and I'm kinda glad that now it's split into 2 because I get a new one every 6-7 months instead of once a year haha

Actually no my main gripe: Where are all the women? Us, Hide & Sis, and Friendshit Forever seem to be the only shows that focus on more than one woman and the BLs basically have no women, or possibly 1 female side character. Why can't they have side GL pairings or multiple women in the same show, truly what the heck? I hope that more women are cast in the shows as they start writing scripts and such, like a side GL in Us or a side GL in Perfect 10 Liners among all the BL pairs.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

EPISODE 19 TRIVIA:

- PRAISING YAKKO FOR HIS ACTING BC HE MADE THE REST OF THEM REALLY EMOTIONAL. well deserved.

- a chorus of "fuck mark hes such a shitty dad" from all of them . however i am immune to this bc unfortunately i love mark . he sucks so bad (affectionate)

- the phrase "gaslight, gatekeep, gillion tidestrider" came up. i know you have not listened to riptide so this is mostly just for me but i am CRACKING up over this

- "okay i wanna know. yakko how do you feel about the episode" ".... i feel....." << he does not finish this sentence

- "i hope we get to Weekend At Bernies williams corpse"

- ok so theyre talking about how much theyre emotionally invested in alk of their characters and bizly goes "i was watching animatics of my character [<< referring to chip from riptide] earlier and almost cried" this isnt rlly trivia but i love shit like this . i love when the ppl who make a thing are just as passionate about it as fans are and open about that fact. makes me happy

- NEVERMIND THEYRE TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY HATE MARK AGAIN. which i mean. ok. valid. but also free my man.

- grizzly: mark makes me so angry just as a person that it makes it hard to play dakota. dakotas not supposed to be so angry but i cant help it i just want to yell at him

- grizzly thought william possessed the guard by accident at first and he was gonna wake up in the guards body

- condi: can you possess vyncent

charlie: NO????

- now they want to do a body swap episode. i also think this would be extremely funny (they have not done one of those yet :[ )

- i cant remember if this has ever been said in an ep or not but the main w.a.t.c.h base is in space which is why the heroes keep saying theyre off world.

HI ok im gonna try 2 answer the rest of these 2day. forgive me if i don't tho i am doing. my best <3

YAKKO i love yakko. tbh when ashe was first introduced and i watched the video version i thought yakko was a beautiful trans woman. i was incorrect and he is in fact Just Some Guy but thats ok i love guys who are Just Some Guy <3 either way ashe is trans 2 me this headcanon is real and true trust me yakko told me himself

GOD I WISH THEY GOT TO WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S WILLIAM'S CORPSE. how fucking funny would it be if they dragged that thang around school and somehow managed to fool people into thinking he's still alive and well. every day i wish they had done that

I LOVE WHEN PPL ARE INVESTED IN THE CHARACTERS THEY PLAY!!!! big reason i love qcellbit so much. cellbit fucking loved that little guy. every day i curse the universe for ending the qsmp so soon. where is his lore. gimme a conclusion. where is my cat i miss him

WHY DO THEY HATE MARK SO MUCHHHHH thats so funny. world's most hated single widowed divorced dad. give my man a break he doesn't deserve all that <3

A BODY SWAP EPISODE WOULD BE SO SILLY!!!! how would that work for vyncent?? would his classes/headmates follow him to a new body or would whoever he switches bodies with just be stuck with a bunch of fucking guys in their head??? are william's powers connected to his soul or something and not his body so would they follow him to another body or what??? much 2 think about......

[gayspock]

ok 1 menty b for me

i dont know. i think its just always been so alienating. i think theres something wrong with me and its unfixable. and sometimes, if i cant have anything else, i just want at least the fucking chance to express that without people thinking even less of me. and ik in reality nobody even gaf or sees me. but i also know know that if they did, 9times out fo 10 people would be rolling their eyes. whatever. idk. i feel so lonely and i dont think im ever not going to be lonely and its never going to get better because even when given the resources, the opportunities i just can never manage . i just cant . i swear i try . but every single time. my whole fucking life . i just walk away from everything with even less, it feels like. and its getting so much harderand harder. and i dont know how to express it liek ... i fucking feel myself SEETHE as ppl keep insisting "theres still a chance! there's still hope!" like sure bro. but i dont want to fucking keep living my life along the fucking asymptote of getting consistently closer to dying alone but "haha technically its not a certainty" and . like theres just something so fucking repulsive about me and i just cant seem to fix it no matter what. and im so exhausted all the time. and i genuinely dont think theres any way out of that . i go to work and i come home so burnt out and tired. and people are nice there but i dont think i can really connect with anyone . i just cant seem to get close to people . and i dont have it within me to meet anyone else because im so fucking tired all of the time .

and even if i did and i mustered all the energy and spent all the little time i had left in the world i dont think theyd have time for me. not just bc nobody in their 20s does but also because i dont know . it just never seems to work . and i cant do it again where i try to invest every little piece of me into it when its jsut always left me fucking miserable and pathetic. bro do you know what i mean. not to be 16 and lame as shit still. i feel like im always the idiot ppl take pity on at best . i dont think ive ever been real to anybody. like alwaysssssss...... and even now i feel like every time I HAVE existed within circles of others. its literally 10 times out of 10 just constantly fighting to be included and seen as someone whos not a fucking joke and i just feel like such a fucking . loser for caring so much about it when. REALISTICALLY. pretty much all the people ive met in life will have forgotten i exist. and ok. ok. i just dont think ... like its not like some trait within me right like ... im not As melodramatic to be like oh . oh theres an actual innate trait within me thats activated and stops people liking me. just. the contrary like. i just think theres nothing within me to actually like . or to gravitate towards. so likeyeah sure . that makes sense. why WOULD you want to bother with someone whos just kinda hollow or whatever.. something something or other. and i kind of wish i was more resilient about tht. but i jsut . i guess as is a Guy of that Nature, its just ... im trying to fucking not fucking spiral but i just feel myself fucking filling up with fucking . miserable SHITTY bile or whatever because i just wish i felt normal or whatever. its such a fucking human fucking thing that other people can MANAGE. but i cant . its so so fucking hard and i cant do it and i cant handle it. and i just feel so angry sometimes anyways . bc i hate it . and i keep trying bc i wanna make peace with it because i know theres no out . like ive long since given up on ever thinking its going to work out . because nothing fucking helps but makes it so much worse . anyways. i dont know. but i dont know bro. it drives me fucking insane when people always spout some bs about how "haha everyone has someone! everyone will find someone! like no they dont no they wont . its so .. so much more isolating. or like "EVERYONEEE feels lonely sometimes" like HOW does that help. HOW. and it makes it so MUCH FUCKING WORSEEEE when people tell you about how lonely they are too!!! like cool . i dont have a chance then. sorry i know thats such a bitter bitch thing to say. but idk if it rlly matters like ... at the end of the day idc when ppl have partners. or people they talk to. family who loves them. and youre still lonely. cool. thank you for letting me know, dude. go back to the people who will look out for you and love you whilst i sit in the dark and not speak to anyone for weeks whilst not a single person would even notice im gone .

or like. bro. i dont think a single person has taken me seriously for long enough to ever fucking like me or hold me in enough regard to like... want to talk to me again nevermind like be with me in a certain sense so i jsut. i dont know. sits alone. every fucking day for years maybe. i dont know. i feel so fucking sad and angry knowing deep down that i can know all this and know its true but even then . i cant even have that . people wont even take THAT part of me seriouslyand think im just some fucking idiot whos not even trying. when i really reallyhave but its just so... worthless it feels like . it feels like im never getting anywhere and everyone thinks i just gave up when i didnt. and i dont know. thar makes it sound like people actually see me and really are laughing or something when i dont think its nearly that much. i think its like oh people see me make that as a snap judgement and i fall out of existence again. and i dont know. it shouldnt matter but i feel so fucking strung out and exist between these instances only and idk. idk bro. im trying to be okay with it. but as im getting older i just feel like theres so many more things that are revealing themselves as worse and worse. and im going crazy. im going crazzzzzzyyyy . whatever . insert the mental breakdown gifs . the funny ones where those guys aremoving really fast

[eloquentgifs]

I'm going to say things bc that's how I cope.

As a person who thinks that if you're going to do something you should do it right, I can't help it, it bothered me how sloppy this season felt. Of course I fully blame HBO and their cheapness, but it stills bothers me. Not only we got two episodes less than s1, but the 8 we got were shorter, and you can tell. I also blame the budget cuts for the constant yet unnecessary flashbacks, and the weird editing, and the anticlimatic pace. In any case, I want to highlight the things I did like, because I fucking love this show and Im sure that after a rewatch or two I'll be less angry, so let's stay positive:

Since it seems they were having trouble to get the complete cast together in one plot, I do love they kinda let them have their spotlight one by one. Like, Frenchie in the first episodes, Wee John as Calypso, Lucius with his PTSD in ep5... It's not the same as s1, but it's something.

I've seen people complaining about this, but Im happy they didnt invest too much time on the forgiving process. I like it better when everyone gets along fine, and in the end they're pirates and they never seemed to be the kind of people who hold grudges, so yeah lets skip to the nice part.

I did like a lot what they did with Izzy. I don't care if it happened too quick or what, I used to feel indiference towards him and this season I actually enjoy his scenes a lot. I still dont know how I feel about his death tho. It bothered me a little that the whole scene was more about Ed than Izzy himself, but in the end I always saw Izzy as a narrative tool in Ed's arc more than as a character of his own, so I guess it makes sense.

Super happy with the music choices, and also the new outfits.

Really, the first five episodes were absolutely brilliant.

It made me so happy they got Bronson Pinchot as Ned Low.

Huge fan of Zheng Yi Sao and Auntie.

Im so fucking furious at Taika Waititi for his pro-Israel shit that seeing Pop Pop attacking him gave me some sort of inner peace.

Now, things I wished had been done differently: - There were a lot of paralelisms with s1, which is good, but I'd like they brought back more actual elements of s1 into play. Like, the lighthouse painting, the secret wardrobe, the pink robe, a third Badmington (he would have work better as big bad than this prince ricky guy I dont really care about?). Frenchie singing again. This oneis a reach, but I would love to have Mary Bonnet back. And I was really hoping they play with the fact that Stede is "dead". The guy doesnt even mention the Master Fuckery from ep10.

-On that note, I was a little dissapointed on Jim's arc. I was never that invested on them or their plot in s1, but it feels weird how this season it seems like none of that even happened. Even Jim felt like a different character. I feel it would worked better if some of the conflict was related to Siete Gallos stuff, so at least it would feel all of that subplot wasnt a waste of time.

-Little missing opportunities of making me happy: Anne Bonny and Mary Read mentioning Jack (to insult him, mostly); they kissing when the house is on fire; Ed finding not just one letter but the whole pile of them; a better narrative use for Seagull Buttons (well, any narrative use, really); developing the bombclocks thing in a way where Auntie was not deprived of her superhuman detective skills; having Ned Low as bigger villain, with several appearances.

-The general development of Ed/Stede in the final episode... It's just confusing to me. My reading of Stede's mind state was that he was on autopilot since he killed Ned Low, and being abandoned by Ed and having his ass kicked by Zheng would wake him up a little, but this episode he's still in PROBLEM SOLVER mode, zero regrets about anything, still hasn't talked anything through EVER, he's just fine. With Ed I dont even ask for coherence bc he's always been a wtf guy, but I dont understand the "just do whatever you're good at" thing in the beginning of the episode, and he claiming back his leathers and his pirate-self and going on berserker mode and fighting along Stede as equals and blablabla if at the end he's still chosing to be a fucking innkeeper. Also, having a shitty inn in the middle of nowhere sounds too close to the antique shop in ep4, didn't they learn ANYTHING from Mary and Anne? I mean, the innkeeping was a predictible outcome, but the setting up of the episode was really aiming to the opposite, so it feels weird to me. In any case, I'm happy they're together and if being absolutely on their own in the loneliest house in the world doesn't get them to improve their communication, idk what else they could do.

-Still think they should have been lighthouse keepers instead.

-Next season Im totally muting every OFMD tag as soon as they announce the trailer release, because the promo and bts content was absolutely TOO MUCH. Those fuckers had been showing us stuff from the very climax of the fucking last episode since weeks before the season aired. I get it's a me problem, but I do believe it ruined my experience a lot, so fuck that.

And well. That's it. Good season, could have been great. Im happy but sad. Let's just hope that, if there's a season 3, they gave them more money and time to do it properly.

And before I post this and run away from tumblr, Im checking out how much of my wishlist had been fulfilled: - LUCIUS IS ALIVE - Stede Bonnet, berserker era [Not as I imagined, but hey] - The Queen Anne’s Revenge, either being captured or coming back as the ship Ed left behind when he went to The Revenge - The Blockade of Charleston (and make really absurd) [Still might happen in the future?] - Anne Bonny and Mary Read(as middle aged women who kinda mirror Ed and Stede, but they did it right) - Since he was already mentioned in s1, it would make sense introducing Hornigold, maybe as a new antagonist or something. - A rip off of that wwdits episode with the Vampire Council, except this time is the Pirate Council and its members are pirates from other movies and shows [I was really dreaming big here] - On that note, a really weird episode with every person who has played Blackbeard in recent years [Fully tripping] - More women and more asian characters. And more people speaking their mother tongues [So many Chinese gals, not one chinese word :(] - Ed finding out about Stede’s death and believing it [It did happened but not how/when we thought] - Ed meeting Mary and getting along [Never losing hope on this one] - Frenchie adopting a cat (and singing a song about it). - More info about everyone’s pasts. - I would LOVE having Bartholomew Roberts in the show. [YES PLEASE]

[stupidcanofpeaches]

okay okay so i just finished s2 of shadow and bone and again i have a Lot of Feelings about the matter. if you haven’t watched it yet please please just scroll down and past this one immediately bc here there be spoilers. you’ve been forwarned.

and now, the Feelings.

first of all, the ending. man. i know that jurda parem was in the books which i haven’t really read yet but im really excited about it bc i know from osmosis that something happens to nina and also we get to see more of the fan favorite barrel rat kaz and the rest of the crows which im always happy to. secondly, the ending. the Ending. finally some corrupt the cutie. i mostly like alina even despite certain mary sue shades but goddamn her slowly starting to slip into something way too similar to kirigan? hell yeah. that little smile she has when she straight up cuts the woman in half with the shadow cut, like straight up just kirigan’s shadow cut? Neat. that’s really Neat. i want to see how it works out for someone who’d witnessed how hunger for power works but also has totally the best intentions. give me a hint that a character is about to go a little nutty and all of a sudden im way more invested in the plotline.

and, of course, kaz and inej. tear my heart out why won’t you. also just gonna say that i appreciate all the kaz whump in s2! im definitely rewatching the pekka rollins scene. you know the one. the i’m begging you. are you? scene. the best a man can be is bloodied and unhinged. he gasps beautifully. yes i feel like a maniac writing this. and the magic drug hallucination scene? that fucking transition from him falling back and then sinking into the water with his arms open hhhhggngngng. also yeah it’s a little funny how the other crows hallucinate something somewhat nice, like jesper seeing his mom and gaining the resolve to be himself, or inej seeing kaz the way she’d like him to be - open, without his armor, able to touch her - and then there’s kaz just straight up hallucinating his dead brother pretty much waterboarding him and attempting to murder him. if i wanted to, i could probably also go into some way too deep analysis here and suggest that people on magic plant drugs tend to hallucinate things they want badly, and that kaz definitely has some sort of survivors guilt and a secret death wish. but i won’t. and the waking up scene! god. good god. that fleeing little second where he goes still and stares up at her, and his eyes are suspiciously wet. inej’s finger doing this little circle on his temple in an attempt to soothe him. the moment the reality hits him and you can see his brows furrow and then he cringes and twists away and inej immediately lets go of him. my heart my heart man why do you have to do this to me. and yeah i might have watched this scene a few times too many. 

and the finale ughhhhhhh. i will have you without armor or i will not have you at all. the fact that the scene takes place in the chapel with the stained glass saint looming over them. my only complaint is that is somewhat came off as inej almost blaming kaz for uhhhh. being traumatized? him not wanting to touch people without some sort of barrier between them, and sometimes even with the clothes acting as said barrier, is quite literally an involuntary trauma response, one he cannot control consciously - seemingly he can somewhat work with this if it’s a life or death situation, but not always (as shown by the scene where nina drags him by the scruff of his neck off to pekka rollins, which, on purpose or not, probably was not enjoyable and im almost sure nina touched his neck in the process)/ maybe im just reading too much into stuff. and no im not blaming inej for this - god knows she earned the right to have an equal partner who can be open with her. but her leaving and the longing look kaz gives her....... and the way he clearly wants to say something different but hesitates and then kind of blurts out the stupid thing about wanting to die buried in all the money he will hoard one day...... the way he can’t help but flinch away as inej holds his gloved hand...... that deep exhale and the look in his eyes as she leaves......

somebody send help i want another season of preferably just crows. ive got the crows brain rot. 

also david noooo why couldn’t you hide together with genya??? good god i swear he could’ve survived but no genya was not spared by the narrative. also good on her for getting the opportunity to torch kirigan’s body. genya deserved better.  

[rlljayhon]

3-22-24

idk what to do with my feelings LMAO

they said they just want to be friends but we talk like everyday? and they text first sometimes so idk maybe I'm just blinded by my emotions bleh

i mean, i dont wanna push a line or any boundaries that they already set but I get so heart eyes and kick my feet in bed whenever we text

i also need to learn not to invest too hard I guess bc I am hardly ever like slightly interested y'know okay maybe sometimes but usually I get fixated on something/someone and I don't know if I can change that about myself. its just me and who I am

now that i think about it, whenever I set my eyes on someone and go 110% for them, I think it doesn't really work out? idk how to word it but like i always feel like i am putting in much more effort, but this time it doesn't feel like that which is nice, i think its just our past that makes me so nervyyy

after i went on that date like a year ago I realized I didn't feel ready to date bc I wasn't feeling like the best version of myself and I didn't want to give that to someone. i told myself I would wait until I graduated before thinking about love again

but after this person came back into my life it changed my view but also leaving me a bit confused?? i guess? idk

i feel like i am trying to talk myself out of having these feelings but I like never ever do that bc I am simply a guy who lives his life day by day and experiences things in the now, and right now I am crushing. >.<

i say all this stuff but whenever I see them do this cute little smile where they crunch their face up, I feel like I melt into a puddle haha and I think stuff like that is what really tells me how i feel

also yeah we like kissed and made out or whatever which obviously was amazing bc never in a million years did i think that would happen but what I think what really did it was when they kissed me on the cheek heh

maybe im not thinking logistically, but lets be real, that's not the kinda guy I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[koqabear]

Hello, I am here to excitedly rave about Only You Darling and shower you in well-deserved compliments. Anybody else reading this, stop if you haven't read Only You Darling as there will be SPOILERS.

First of all, your writing is brilliant, I wish I could come up with plots like you do. I have so many fics that I start writing and then I don't know how to get from A to B or what should happen next and just give up.

I have read Only You Darling (and also What The Body Wants, the whole concept of that fic >>>) twice now, and I'm sure I'll read it again in the future. My first read was a wild ride, I was so invested, I thought what if it's Yeonjun and Beomgyu but nah, then I when Soobin came into the picture I was sure it was Soobin and then it was Beomjun! Every time I thought i had it figured out, you had me doubting myself. I loved all the twists and turns and the way I was so stressed after everything went down and the reader was living in that house, the imagery that you created was amazing. I have to say that it's the best fic I've read on this site. Hands down. I don't think I've read such a well planned and fleshed out fic in maybe a decade (not to show my age haha), after I was done reading I felt as if I'd just watched a movie. I don't even get through thriller novels, I always get bored with the pacing or the writing, but you had me in the palm of your hand.

I'm sure I have more thoughts, but right now they're just a blurred mess of excitement and awe. Thank you for sharing your work and making me excited about reading fics again. I am slowly making my way through the rest of your stuff, I'm sure I will be back to word-vomit on you about other stories in the future!

HAIIIIII HIHIHI OMG IM SOOOO SORRY I TOOK LITERAL MONTHS TO ANSWER THIS 😭😭😭🙁 i saw it and wanted to make sure that i had time to answer all your points but then i KEPT FORGETTING ABOUT IT 😭😭 but please know that i really appreciate feedback like 🫶🫶🫶 getting a review on oyd always makes me so happy and you really delivered with this 

full response under the cut :]

AHHHHSJDBSKDB BUT THANK U OMG 💔💔 when i first started writing on here i’d neverrrr thought i’d be writing long fics so consistently… even 10k was a huge rare accomplishment to me akzbwkdjs,,, it takes time to really figure out what works and what doesn’t with writing methods but… i wish you the best of luck with all your wips and i’m sure you’ll be able to have a breakthrough someday with any you might be struggling on !!! i believe in you !!!

YOU’VE READ OYD TWICE. Oh… my heart T_T idk but like,, i’ve never really been able to grasp the concept that people actually.. reread my stories. That’s genuinely one of the most flattering things to hear in my opinion bc 😭😭 to hear that i’ve managed to write a fic that’s worth being read again is mind blowing to me algskldgh (also thank you !!! WTBW is forever near and dear to my heart <3)

It’s always so satisfying to hear that my attempts on tricking the readers were successful hehe :3 it was one of the major things i was worried about tbh,,, it took a lot of thinking on how i would introduce soobin’s character and how he would be involved, so im happy to hear that my work paid off ! and imagery was something that i learned was very important while writing oyd; it really makes or breaks a scene, imo. Especially in those final cabin scenes,,, AGH idk im so giddy to have it pointed out tho bc i do put a little extra love and effort into my imagery :3

AWWWWSLDKGHH UGH YOU’RE JUST. im gonna sob. The best fic.. dont say that to me im crazy 😭😭 but aggggh it makes me feel so appreciated and seen to read that you think it’s well planned like :(( i remember how much effort i put into that fic omg… that story is my baby im afraid 

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a sweet review, and im sorry i couldn’t respond to it sooner 😭 comments like these are sooo motivating and validating, i seriously can’t explain how happy it makes me <333

[coolbeansbuddyofmine]

ro I know we rarely interact but curious about ✨ and adding the 🌈 for funsies <3

HI SEL!! i've been so ia for the longest time and im still in the middle of a lot of work but i have the time to take a breath it feels like

also yay thank u for ur ask!!

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

so, as per usual, i'm not a concise person so i'll give two varieties of answers for this between my finished fics and my to-be-completed ones (bc i will finish all my fics one day---they're incomplete not abandoned)

so finished fics:

so my contenders are between both of these because they were really specific ideas that either i had (in the case of the lawschool fic) or that were sent to me (the f4 fic) and i had a lot of fun writing it. the general speed of the actual writing was very very fast because i was so invested and i knew what i would write too.

of course, my popular fics like the famous aus in vincenzo fandom and the countless f4 fics were very very fun too, but they get their due credit. i think these are some of my (if i can say this even) more "underrated" fics so to speak. people do like them and all, but i think i like it much more than people do, if that makes sense.

i want to have the same energy as a writer bc i find myself lacking it that i had when i was writing this approximately a year before, and the same strength of my brainrot ideas that motivate me to write.

for my unfinished fics:

so the fiery priest fic was the product of a fever dream at night that i spent furiously writing down in a notebook as soon as i woke up, and i think it's one of my best works personally. if you've watched the show, i highly encourage you to read this fic of mine. i think it deals with the emotional genres of second chance romance, enemies to lovers, angst that i think are my strengths. so yes, if the fandom were more popular, i think (hope) it'd get the due credit it deserves.

the vincenzo fic is really a labour of love (as are all my fics, but this one a bit more so). i love intolerable cruelty the movie, and i think men who think of themselves as tough pining for the strong as needles unbreakable woman is beautiful trope and i believed it'd translate well to the show. i just enjoyed writing it so much, and i'm so cognizant of all my unfinished fics that i know exactly what i need to finish, my ideas that i had because my entire ao3 page is a labour of love for me in between a hectic college and work live juggling school and 5 jobs and extracurriculars. so, yeah, i hope my vincenzo mutuals show this fic the love i have for it.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

i think the easy answer to this one is:

so, this ended my two-ish month hiatus and i've not published anything since though i've written a lot of fanfic and other creative works as well. long story short, this was a very difficult and heartfelt piece for me that was less a fanfic and more a personal, third-person essay towards my mental state at the time after a very painful breakup with my longterm partner and then a subsequent short-lived fling/situationship that went from 5 to 90 in very little time and also ended badly. i've since been just healing from that sort of, and this particular piece was the rawest i'd felt right after both instances and i was very emotionally spent and used and unstable.

(i'm much better now! if any of y'all were wondering <3)

the better, proper answer(s) as a writer would be:

so, the nevertheless fic, as a character study was honestly an ugly exploration into myself because i relate to bitna as a person painfully so. i've been her (pretty recently too) and while our situations are/were different, i think the emotional resonance within us is strong and so while it started off as something fun, it became a challenging exploration of the self disguised as a character study. (i realize this is a similar answer to the previous fic but idc)

for the lawschool fic, i love hanahaki and i love angst. like i'll read and angst and i'll cry and i'll enjoy that sweet sweet pain and emotional catharsis and there's an alternate ending version to this in my drafts somewhere that made me ugly-cry claire danes circa romeo and juliet style and i think grief and unrequited love is so deeply personal to me as a theme i fucking love it.

thanks sel for your ask!! as per usual, i wasnt concise at all but i did say i wouldnt be in the beginning.

love,

coolbeans (ro)

link to the original post if anyone else wants to ask me more! i'm finally back (proper) for the better i think <3 ask me more things im currently accepting prompts <3 !!!

[loslotharios]

Do you have any Raymond & Dembe friendship/just Dembe headcanons? I just finished rewatching my favorite eps. and I am FULL of Raymond & Dembe fluffy/angsty Feels. I know he must have been TRAUMATIZED when this “strange man” swoops in to save him, do you have any ideas on what Raymond might have done afterwards to get Dembe to trust him?

Oof I feel like I havent talked about this show in a hot second.

First of all thank u for single handledly reviving my tbl obsession. I'm all in on the Red/Dembe friendship again, so if anyone wants more... literally dont hesitate to ask. Bc I have so much more to say.

RED RESCUES DEMBE HCS

• Red gave Dembe his sunglasses as they made their way back to base to get Dembe medical help, so he could have some semblance of privacy. Dembe still has that pair of shades in a lockbox somewhere.

• The culture shock was sometimes a little too much for Dembe and ever since the first time he voiced his feelings to Red, Raymond has never stopped trying to understand and incorporate South Sudanese culture into their lives.

• Because Red is a very physically affectionate person, he actively had to hold himself back those first couple months bc his first instinct to comfort a struggling Dembe was hugs. He knew Dembe was making progress and starting to feel safe when he started initiating shoulder/hand pats.

• Red sort of took initiative to make sure Dembe felt as safe as possible those first couple of months after saving him. He would take bites of his food first to show him it was safe, same with any drink. Checked rooms for him. Tried to avoid long periods of time apart because I just know Dembe had to work through some major abandonment issues.

• Dembe had nightmares for years after meeting Red. So, Red spent many nights growing his empire from Dembe's bedroom floor. He never really minded considering he didn't sleep much to begin with. Eventually he did invest in a desk and comfy chair (maybe even a futon) for Dembe's room. Telling him they were gifts for him, when in reality they were a gift for Raymond's aching back.

CURRENT HCS

• They are each other's only friend so I know they have a ton of inside jokes. They have whole conversations just by looking at each others eyes.

• Because they spend so much time together, they do have occassional fights. But I hc that they dont really argue and instead they just get EXTREMELY passive aggressive.

*Dembe leaves dirty coffee mug on counter*

"Oh i didnt know the dish washer was broken."

"Thank you for putting your feet up on the table Raymond. We wouldn't want the carpet getting dirty."

I wanted to see more of their reactions after Dembe left in S6 so...these are my hcs on that:

• We saw Dembe cry when they were talking, but we didnt see Red. I know Raymond cried as soon as he left the room and was alone. He emotionally shut down that entire period he was without Dembe. Wouldn't eat. Wouldn't sleep. He put on the typical Raymond Reddington front, but inside he was just tired.

I also kind of wish their reunion would have been more dramatic tbh because an arm pat??? Come on. Sooooo...

• The second Dembe saw Red he could tell how exhausted he was. And while he still felt his leaving was necessary, he felt really bad about it. He just made sure to double check that Raymond ate and slept properly.

• They totally had a deeper, more emotional conversation afterwards where they may or may not have cried together. Also Red went through a period after this where he was incredibly clingy and needed reassurance that they were still best friends and that they were okay.

[poppy-metal]

I come out of my Tumblr hiatus to bring u a thought. Pirate! Eddie. Him with the jack Sparrow look. The eyeliner. The clothes. The hat. He fucks u into practical unconscious bc 1. The dick is heavenly and 2. He doesn't know when he's gonna see u again bc 3. Your a royal and not supposed to be sleeping with the enemy. Idk just some food for thought

hey this physically did something to my brain it has stopped working. i also made it soft im sorry.

sneaking on pirate eddies ship to escape your marriage to lord creel (heh) nd his crew finding you and dragging you up to his chambers. you're terrified, you've heard the rumors about how ruthless a pirate munson was, how he and his creq ravaged villages and ships. but you were more scared of your life back home.

being brought to him and forced to kneel at his feet, where he sits in a makeshift throne of sorts, a big ancient looking thing. he's a beautiful and intimidating man. both everything like the legends and nothing like them at all. his white open vested shirt parts at his chest, revealing dark tuffs of his chest hair, and the start of inked lines that you guess are tattoos. his hair is long and wild, eyes soft a doe like, despite the kohl liner rimming them.

he taps his fingers idly on his the arms of his chair as he assesses you, quiet as he takes you in, dark eyes roaming over your tattered wedding gown.

a hint of a smile, "a runaway bride?"

you keep your head held high despite your racing heart. outside of his room his crew is tripping over themselves to see what's going on. "im no one's bride."

one of his eyesbrows lift, and you realize, despite his appearance, how nicely he presents himself. the whole get-up is purposeful. looking as feral as he unhinged as he does, he still gives off an air of superiority and regalness. "well." he says slowly, tap tap tapping his fingers. "i suppose you aren't now." he looks you over again, "did you hide yourself away on my ship hoping I'd keep you safe from your beloved?"

as he speaks he flips open a metal case near him, plucking a cigarette from the tin. he lights it as he waits for your answer.

"i just want safe passage." you hedge, watching how his rings glint as he cups his hands around the cig when it lights, fanning the smoke as he leans back comfortably. "i know i can't get that for free. i sought you out on purpose for that reason."

a plume of smoke blows from his lips. he looks intrigued, motioning towards you broadly, "go onnnn."

at this, some of your maidenhood returns, your eyes turning downcast. you're still wearing your engagement ring. the damn thing was too hard to get off when you'd tried before.

"m'not naive enough to think any pirates will do me favors. especially when im Henry Creels bride." you make yourself look at him, seeing the recognition of that name light his face. many people are scared of that name, but munson just looks curious, flicking ash of his cig as he listens. you lick your dry lips, "which is why....i plan to be of service. I know where my fiancé kept his investments. i know where he's kept hidden jewels."

even eddie munson isn't above greed. he's a pirate after, all. he licks his lips, and he stubs the cigarette out. standing, his heeled black boots thump against the wood of his floor as he comes to you.

you meet his eyes as he looks down at you, hair hanging down around his face is waves. pretty, you think.

when he holds his hand out for you, you take it, letting him pull you to your feet. he grins at you then, mishevous, and dimpled. "i think we have eachothers best interests at heart, little runaway. welcome aboard hellfire."

BRAIN BUZZING!!!!!! letting eddie lead you across sea, getting close with his crew after that, late nights in his chambers playing board games and teaching him how you and your childhood friend prince!steve used to dance (prince!steve whos currently scouring the very sea you're on to find you because hes in love with you. he's hitched a ride with pirate robin, his new best friend) at balls. he's clumsy and always steps on your feet but you think its endearing. finding out the rumors about him are basically just that, rumors. because eddie munson has a heart of gold.

and when you let him take you to bed weeks later, you're both feeling heavy with the fact that your journey is coming to an end. he'll have the treasures you promised him soon, and you'll be far and free from henry.

you let him lay you down and strip off your silk gown, run your hand down that smattering of hair down his chest until you reach that hard cock you've been craving between your legs since you first stowawayed on his ship.

he makes love to you, its your first time, sweet and intimate and hot, trading sacred murmurs you'd never speak out loud in the heat of the day. the bed rocking with his motions as he takes you, cradling you to him, lips pressed to your ear, your temple, your cheek.

"love you, my sweet little runaway. I'll never forget all that you've given me. your light, your laughter, this precious cunt. I'll take it all with me, forever."

[mokutone]

Hm…. Yamato is too easy, so…. Sakura? 👀

ah. an anon after my own heart. yes i love her lets talk abt her!!!

answers under the cut!

favorite thing about them — i kind of like that like. as a kid she's just a huge asshole. like due to her own insecurities. she put ino on a pedestal. and then got MAD at ino for being on a pedestal that SHE put ino on. she's constantly a jackass to naruto. shes rude to even sasuke. SHES RUDE TO KAKASHI TOO. like as a kid she was just kind of a writhing mass of frustration and insecurities and i love that abt her :)

least favorite thing about them — how did kishimoto get worse about writing women as he moved on. how do you lose skills like that? i was watching like episode 160 or something like that where pain attacks and sakura was like "oh no! who would be so awful as to attack the leaf village...!" like. kishimoto. what the fuck was that. shes a warrior in war town. if somebody destroyed konoha they'd destroy 90% of the land of fire's military force. like. puts chin on hand. like yeah this is sakuras home and there are civilians here but also she is literally warrior medic of war town. thats such a dumb line and u know they gave it to her just bc shes a girl. hate it here. anyway.

favorite line

this is rlly funny. lee said like one nice thing to her and now she's ride or die. sakura im so obsessed with u, u are soooo funny

brOTP — naruto :) theyre friends + they worked hard to be able to get along with each other. i wish we got to see more interactions that werent just the like. manzai comedy routine. had enough of her hitting him on the head come on. lets see them fight at each others backs already!!!!

OTP — bleh bleh bleh i'm not very shippy but i think ino + sakura have good chemistry, and i think rock lee + sakura could be cute.

nOTP — sakura and sasuke just make me really sad

random headcanon — she hasn't read any fiction books since she was like 13 and they stress her out at this point. you want her to get invested in some fictional fucking characters that she doesnt even know whats going to happen to? no thank you. sounds unpleasant. she's got a perfectly good medical text that tsunade is going to need her to have read by thursday anyway so really the fiction is a waste of time. she is like Yamato in this way.

unpopular opinion — i think she also has adhd. idk if i need to elaborate on this but like, when she does her kind of internal/external split in early naruto, it's clear that she relates to naruto a lot but is like way too ashamed of herself to act as honestly to her feelings as he does, and she clearly takes this out on him, instead of working thru her own issues about repressing her behavior. again not healthy behavior for a child but i do love that abt her. fucking nightmare tho

song i associate with them — some nights by fun. i don't know what to tell u, i have abysmal music taste and i have to own it so this is it? I sold my soul for this? Washed my hands of that for this? I miss my mom and dad for this? No, when I see stars, when I see– When I see stars, that's all they are

favorite picture of them

LOOK SHES SOOOOO SMUG. look at her little smile. look at the huge ahem. she got it right shes the smartest in the class and shes like. now give me the praise and the gold star i fuckin earned it. obsessed with her shes so wonderful and so obnoxious. absolute daughter. kakashis here for context but this isnt abt him.