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#also once again!! i’ve worked on my art style for ages and i’m so thankful it’s paying iff
malusienki · 10 months
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💙 Hello!! You!! I'm doing a Writeblr Advent Calendar challenge thingy and I have to compliment my mutuals today! You're not on writeblr but I still want to tell you that I love your opera posts, your drawings always brighten up my day, and that whenever I see something Fille or Lucia-related, I think of you immediately bc they're just Your Operas now!
Have a good December (bc this is an Advent thing, but definitely have a good other months as well) and I hope you keep talking about opera bc I'll always be invested!
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this is the sweetest thing…. thank you so much. i am so glad you enjoy my opera ramblings and my art!! it makes me so happy to know that mutuals like my stuff waugh!!
have a lovely december [and all months] as well!
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vonkarma2 · 2 years
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1, 23, 27 for the oc questions?
This contains super old drawings so I’m putting it under a cut, beware my middle school art. Thanks for asking these were fun to answer :)
1. Your first OC ever?
I’ve answered a similar question to this a couple of times before, and I mentioned like the ocs I made when I was like 8 years old. This time, I wanted to use like my first legit developed OC who I put effort into building as a character (this was when I was 13-14), but I wanted to put a specific drawing of her that I was really proud of at the time and I couldn’t find the notebook it was from, so maybe another time. Instead, here’s my wings of fire OC I made when I was 11. Her name is Bobcat and I did not put any effort into building her personality at all unfortunately. 
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From this image I assume she was nice, but who is to say. I like talking about really early ocs though bc sometimes there’s not even a concept I just drew a person with random shapes on their face or outfit and then like an out of context line of dialogue and that was it. It’s also like fun to see the ideas I came up with that I have NO memory of whatsoever. I made a couple of sparkledog type characters and drew them each once and never again. I had no idea I ever did that it was news to me
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As you can see the one on the left is fire themed (he was a supervillain) and the one on the right is technology themed (superhero). I found this context from the writing on the page which I cropped out bc it is dialogue I wrote at age 12
23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?
Ok let’s see I’ve talked abt Angel and Gloria before so who’s left… I don’t think I’ve talked abt Daisy before. The like cyberpunk style characters originated as an idea for a DND campaign I had, and then decided to write out instead. However, I only came up with like one character, so I abandoned the idea. Coming back to it like 8 months later, I made it sci-fi themed instead. The first character I had like solidified was Remy, who was a pop star basically. For some reason, I later on came up with an incredibly similar idea of a like super rich diva girl type. Not only was this almost exactly the same as him, the design was also very very difficult to draw. So I was like ok this isn’t working so I redrew the character a couple of different ways, and one of them was like a repairman type character with super curly hair, who I thought looked cool, so I basically replaced everything abt the character (personality name gender backstory) except narrative role + role in the heist itself (<it was a heist at the time it’s not anymore).
Also Anjara was originally an ace attorney oc (<from when I knew absolutely nothing abt ace attorney but I had seen objection funk) with like a smug personality but then became like a samurai type personality instead.
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? 
Yes. Many. An embarrassing amount. My creative process is essentially listening to a song I like that doesn’t have anything to do with any of my ocs, so I come up with a new oc  to channel the emotion through. To better enjoy the song. I don’t do this as much now though because 1) I already have a lot of different ocs to cover various song types 2) I’m better at developing characters from nothing I would say. But enough abt that let’s get into specific songs.
every like sci fi oc I have: daft punk around the world/harder better faster stronger from alive 2007
Laura: Dynasty by rina sawayama 
Saida: Grace Kelly by Mika. She’s totally different from her original characterization. It used to be like she had no sense of identity and now she’s like, the complete opposite of that LOL
Melanie: baby one more time by Britney Spears, not because her character had anything to do with the song whatsoever, but because at the time I had a bunch of ocs that were just like visual designs made for fight scenes I would choreograph in my mind. To songs. So her design, but not personality, was one of the ones I made for this. Later on it was Honey I’m Home by Destroy Boys
Tane: The Pop Team Epic OP and also Ironina by nilfruits
Aurelia: Wonder What She Thinks of Me by Chloe x Halle, which is interesting in that that song has a very specific and obvious story which the character here has pretty much nothing to do with. Vibes I guess and massive recontextualization
Henry: Friends in Low Places by Worthikids even more egregious than the above since that’s literally a character song abt an ocs backstory. It was also very recontextualized
Luke: Electric Feel Justice Remix
^This is all a little embarrassing to admit, but I’m not going to lie on ocs ask memes I take ocs very seriously. Also I like how it said “an OC” and I just completely ignored that
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dearjoridial · 1 day
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Hello, I have been struggling with life. I’m mostly starting this blog for myself… just to type out my feelings and work through them. But to whoever may be reading this: you are more than welcome to stay. If you relate, I’m sure we can get through this life together. I’m not the greatest writer, but I want to help someone, whether it’s just me or not. 🩵 Here we go!
I will start with my story~ (sorry for how long it is lol)
I am a dancer. I’ve always loved dancing! I have great parents who put me into many sports to try as a kid… dance was my favorite. Started at the age of five and by nine years old, I had decided that’s what I wanted to do forever. (Well actually I wanted to be an ice-cream truck driver or an actress, but I didn’t start acting classes until later and I’m now lactose intolerant hehe). I also had the unique experience of growing up in a Polynesian family that did Polynesian dance shows too. I will admit that I preferred other dance style over that, but I still enjoyed it. I live my best little life- having fun, dancing, and being homeschooled I felt quite good. I was a bit of a perfectionist even at such a young age, but I like to think I handled myself well and was still very kind to everyone. (Even if they made me anxious by not sticking to the plan I had made in my head). Being considered smart at a young age in the dance world also meant that they trained you to be a teacher starting as young as possible. (Why is this?) At the time I remember liking it a lot! I became sort of a teacher’s aid by the time I was ten or eleven, because I was very good at picking up choreography and helping others with it. (Also dancing backwards…I am dyslexic!)
Around age twelve my family picked up and moved to Hawai’i, for my dad’s job. Of course I was really sad to leave my friends, (let’s be real: dance friends are the BEST friends) but Hawai’i was probably one of the best times of my life! Naturally the first thing I did was look for a new dance studio, and I found one that I loved so much! Fortunately, they were so good that they were able to spot all of the flaws in my previous dance training… unfortunately it was a lot. I had hit a growth spurt (the first and only) and found out my knee was completely twisted, and my legs, ankles, feet, and back were completely messed up. Needless to say, I spent the next five years of my life truly growing as a dancer at this new studio. I learned how to dance properly and how to help myself (and others) avoid those same problems in the future. Then I flew!! I danced not only at that studio but also had opportunities in L.A. , Disney (which quickly became my dream), competitions, conventions, and other little projects around the island. I started dabbling in theatre (and LOVED it). I worked through the exciting and anxious times of going to a real school for the first time (College, got an associates degree under my belt). I also started my first job at that studio as a dance teacher, and worked with their jazz company! I am very thankful for my time in Hawai’i and all of my directors, teachers, and friends who pushed me during that time. Once again, I was sad to move away from what I felt was a perfect life, but I left with hopes to use my new found knowledge in performing arts to tackle the East Coast.
I will admit, post-Hawai’i wasn’t so exciting at first. Of course the first thing I did was look for a new studio, but being eighteen now, I realized I now had to look for “adult dance classes”… and in my area, there were none. I wasn’t too fond of the idea of going to a studio just to immediately be a teacher, so I ended up getting two ‘normal’ jobs. I absolutely hated it. I started going to New York a bunch of times to audition for Disney, and I never got past the first round even once. I was very discouraged by that, and felt exhausted because the two jobs I worked were very draining. I believe this is when my mental health dropped. (I knew I had anxiety issues, and I also believe I have some form of depression). After two or three years of this, I finally found an audition for a local theatre company! I got in, and started feeling better having something other than work to look forward to. Little did I know, the theatre scene was VERY well connected, and the very next year I was asked to be in another show. (That doesn’t happen very often, and I was SO honored). At this point I was feeling pretty content, and was about to go back to dance studio hunting… until I saw auditions for my favorite show! Unfortunately, it was 2020… so I auditioned and was very excited to get in, and then the world shut down and it was postponed. I will admit Covid wasn’t necessarily a bad time for me. I quit my job (which needed to happen long before that), lost all of my stress weight that that job had given me, and slowly got myself back into shape. (Via kpop dances hehe). The very next year life started to look up for me. I decided to go back to school to get certified as a Massage Therapist, and even though my show was still postponed, that same company decided to put together a little ‘COVID-friendly’ production. I got to participate, and even though that year had its stresses with covid and school, it ended up being nice. Thanks to this show I got really close to the choreographer and was invited to be in her dance company as well! The next year rolls around and everything starts feeling better; the show ended up happening, and it was the most beautiful experience! I found myself networking even more and landing myself a job as a choreographer, as well as getting myself a vocal coach. I’m beginning to have so much fun with theater, however my body is slowly feeling pained because most theater’s flooring isn’t actually great for dancing. But I keep pushing on! The summer of 2023 happens… so much happened that I am going to probably write separately about it. But long story short, my physical health completely spirals, and I have multiple theatre/dance experiences that (although were fun,) ended up having a rather negative impact on me. So much so that I still feel the need to write them out (which I will). Of course, I’m trying to shake it off and keep moving as life does, but I need a moment to breathe… and frankly, life is about to be so much different I fear.
With all this said, I like to believe I am doing okay. I always have, and continue to, try and find the positives in life, but I truly have felt unwell this past year and I’m struggling to get a hold of my life and my feelings. I’m feeling less and less like myself though. Unfortunately I’m at a point where I can’t afford to see doctors yet and sadly my health has become such a problem that I can barely focus on dancing. It’s frustrating to find out that the injuries you have are going to be practically permanent and affect you in SO many ways for the rest of your life. That’s why I’d like to write here… I’m sure I will get through it, but life is really knocking me down right now and maybe I can find people who understand. (Or at least humor me, while I get through this hehe). I feel incredibly old this year… the pain of this past year was overwhelming. There’s nothing sadder than realizing that you may have to let go of doing what you love the most. I know I’ll get through it though…I just need time. So here we are.
Thanks for reading. I wish you all the best,
Love, Mer 💜
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liesoverthec · 3 years
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OG 911 Character Details from Canon Pt 2
Hi y’all I’m back! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reblogged the last details post - I sort of just thought people would like it and it would die, so to see it travel and hopefully reach more writers was so great so thank you again!
Details under the cut since I went a little crazy 😅 and if this is your first time seeing this, the first part, and any future parts, can be found under this tag here!
Quick note before I get to the details - always, ALWAYS take details from dialogue or plot over details from the set or props if they contradict each other. The writers have the ultimate say over what happens on the show/for the characters, so whatever they say goes, even if it goes against something props has already laid down (eg, Chim’s birthday, sorry Libra crew. He’s an Aries or a Pisces). So keep that in mind for the future in case some of these details I have which are from props/set are changed in the future, or if you’ve noticed something yourself!
Also if you have questions, I am MORE than happy to answer them, although if you leave them in the tags on this post I’m probably gonna lose them, so if it’s something you’d genuinely like an answer to, drop it in my inbox! Besides my standard “ask” tags, I’m also tagging asks about canon details with this tag here. Every time I make a big post like this, I’m going to link all the asks I’ve gotten since the last post, but if you’re looking for more info in the mean time, that’s the other spot to look!
Buck has a grill on his patio.
Eddie doesn’t hang Christopher’s art on the fridge - instead it is either hung on the corkboard in Chris’ room to the left of the door, or Eddie puts it in an actual frame and hangs it using a hammer/nails in Christopher’s room. All the Diaz family has on their fridge is a bunch of bendy people magnets. (I absolutely ADORE him putting all this effort into treating Christopher’s art like it’s something you’d buy from a professional artist).
Info on everyone’s ages can be found here. (Little more discussion of Chim’s situation here).
Albert has a bachelor’s degree! I don’t know in what though, except that it’s some field for which is a Master’s is useful.
Athena was in a sorority in college, Delta Sigma Theta. Their website describes them as “ ...a sisterhood comprised primarily of Black, college-educated women ... [that] considers the issues impacting the Black community and boldly confronts the challenges of African Americans and, hence, all Americans ”, which I love for Athena, and feel is very in-character for her at that time in her life!
Chim is an aviators dude. When he wears sunglasses, they’re always aviators.
Athena also wears nothing but aviators.
Bobby wears square aviators.
Eddie, on the other hand, always wears Wayfarers.
Buck either doesn’t really like sunglasses or he constantly forgets he owns them, since we’ve only seen him wear them once in 60 eps, in a move I’m pretty sure was ONLY for dramatic effect.
Hen’s sunglasses change style over the seasons like her regular glasses do, but she tends to like browline sunglasses.
Info on Christopher’s school can be found here!
There are two colors of dispatch polo, and there doesn’t seem to be any rhythm or reason for who wears what. Maroon - Maddie and Linda. Blue - Josh and May. Jamal has actually worn both maroon and blue, so it doesn’t seem to be TOTALLY set in stone although I’ve never seen anyone else switch. Sue is too badass to wear a dispatch shirt.
Both Bobby and Eddie drive 4 door pickups. Bobby’s is navy. Eddie specifically has a black, 2020 GMC Denali 1500 pickup truck (in case you want to specifically look up what the inside of it looks like or what features it has 😂)
Info on the 118’s medical certifications can be found here.
Correction to Eddie’s living situation from last post: no next door neighbors, but instead UPSTAIRS neighbors. (Pointed out by Abigail in this ask). Also since someone else was wondering the notes of the last post - no, there is absolutely no discussion on the show of whether or not Eddie rents the apartment or owns it. But based on the fact that it’s 1) LA and 2) an apartment, my guess would be he rents it.
When Maddie isn’t feeling like herself, she tends to straighten her hair rather than curl it. It seems to be more when she’s uncertain about her place in her own and other people’s lives, rather than just when she’s simply worried - eg it’s straight in 2B, when she’s uncertain if she wants to continue working as a dispatcher/is unsure about her relationship with Chim.
For work, Chim, Eddie and Buck all use black duffel bags with a LAFD patch on the top. Hen uses several different cute bags, and Bobby seems to have a plain black duffel bag.
Watches - Bobby, Athena, Chim, Hen and Buck all wear their watch on their left wrist (but Athena ONLY wears hers for work, she takes it off at home.) Eddie wears his on his right wrist, and Maddie doesn’t wear one.
Chim (and Maddie by default) literally still have the exact same couch as in the pilot. (Which means that Chim has cuddled Tatiana on that couch, AND Albert has had sex on it. TIME TO GET A NEW ONE, BUCKLEY-HANS 😂)
The 118 has five different rigs - the engine (E118), the ladder truck (T118), two ambulances and the captain’s truck. 95% of the time, when the team is chilling in the cab of a rig and chatting (eg the ‘stuck under a live telephone pole’ scene in Jinx), they’re in the engine, not the truck. (Which I personally learned recently are NOT interchangeable terms!)
Athena and Michael got married when Athena was 37.
If you’d like to give Maddie a full name beyond “Maddie”, you should use Madeline. (I know, I know, in 4x04 she says Maddie is the name on her birth certificate, and that you should never use props details if they contradict script details, but I always thought that was a super weird exchange in 4x04 which could be explained by Maddie getting a nickname since she was born when Margaret and Phillip, you know, actually loved their kids and showed it, so of course Buck doesn’t get one, and in 4x04, Maddie was trying to avoid the entire issue of why she got one and Buck didn’t. But! Do what you want, and use Madeline as the full version of Maddie if you’d like, since that’s what’s on the BOLO in 2x13 😂)
Athena’s call sign is 727 L30, but she doesn’t have a specific squad car - the number changes throughout the series.
Chim really likes chewing gum, but he’s the only one out of the entire family!
The station has an Xbox One S, and it’s white.
In the real LAFD, there are stations 1 through 114. To avoid confusion while filming on the streets (I’m assuming), our fictional LAFD never uses the number of a real station. So if you want another station for a fic, and you want something that would be real in OUR universe, use the numbers 115 and above. They’ve gone as high as 221 in our universe.
Battalions - station 118 is in Battalion 7, which is also not a battalion in real Los Angeles. The 118 has interacted w/ Battalion 1, which is a real battalion, but other ‘non-real which makes them more likely for our universe’ battalions include numbers: 3, 8, 13, 16, 19 and above.
S1 Buck knew the term Jedi, but based on context, didn’t understand AT ALL the context provided by Star Wars, so there’s another edge of his pop culture limits for you.
Chim is the most tech-savvy out of everyone, hands down.
Athena has a VERY active Twitter account.
Abuela’s house number is 8902. I don’t have a street name for you unfortunately though. :/
Athena’s favorite flowers are white roses. None of the other women are really flower people.
Michael likes to wear purple.
When they’re at a call, Buck does pretty much all of the stuff with the hammer and the saw. Eddie does all the work needed with the drill.
Harry goes to Meadowbrook Elementary.
Buck lives on the fourth floor of his apartment building, across the hall from Apt. 416. The lovely @lovelessmotel found this listing for what is more or less the apartment. What happened was: the set crew rented this apartment for the one episode at the end of s2 when Buck moved in, and then over the summer before s3 built their own set of it, and changed some things - eg giving him an island, and moving the sink to a second counter against the far wall, you can see the changes here in this amazing gif set by the awesome Austen, but the listing should let you click around a little more upstairs and figure out dimensions better than what the show provides!
When Athena and Hen go out to eat together, it’s always fast food burgers and fries.
Waffles are Athena’s favorite food, and tiramisu is her favorite dessert.
Every takeout we’ve seen Buck eat has always been in a Chinese food takeout container, and we know he likes Thai food the best. EXCEPT! The one time we see him eat takeout with Eddie and Christopher, they have pizza. So take from that what you will......
Eddie has a cell phone and a landline.
Chim is a shameless multiple texter.
Chim and Bobby sleep closest to the door in their respective bedrooms (both right side of the bed if you are standing at the foot, facing the headboard), and Athena and Maddie sleep furthest away from the door (left side).
Some canon last names for other firefighters at the station in case you wanna add more people to a fic - Mitchell, Sanchez, Serrano (woman), Porter, Meyers (woman), Maxwell, Voyta
Hen and Karen really love decorating their house with dark/red wood.
Karen is Mommy and Hen is Mama.
Bobby has a brother, and a grandmother, and that’s literally ALL we know about his family outside of Marcy and the kids.
Evidence points to Eddie being the oldest child in his family.
Karen has multiple brothers (no sisters), but no idea how many - just that one of them is named Trey, and one of them lives in LA and has kids. They might be the same brother and they might not be.
Both Hen and Athena are only children.
Athena has been on the police force for 30 years.
Christopher and Denny are the same age (born in 2011), and Harry is two years older than them.
Michael lives in apartment 308.
The bank in this universe is CalAm.
Hen and Karen have a picture of Denny, May and Harry on their fireplace mantel.
Eddie having a black thumb + a lot of plants in his living room = him buying fake plants bc he likes the aesthetic ™ or someone (cough Carla cough) is taking care of them for him.
The COVID timeline in OG’s universe is fucked up compared to the real world’s, so it shouldn’t be used as a way to measure time! They just throw it in wherever it makes sense for the story they want to tell (eg the vaccines in s4 ep 8), since s3 was both done before COVID hit but also airing while it was happening. It makes absolutely no sense for May to graduate in March nor for Chris to be going to what is specifically labeled summer camp, and the vaccine plotline was INCREDIBLY early, even for real life, so don’t use anything from that as a measure of time. I’ve found except in specific examples, eg the two tsunami episodes, it’s very safe to say every episode covers a week - fall holidays on the show line up with their real life counterparts, indicating about the same amount of time is passing for us and them.
On that note - Jee-Yun was born in late January, early February 2021. (Conceived in Pinned, which was end of March/beginning of April, meaning Maddie was around a month along at May’s graduation in May ➡ 42 weeks + 3 days from then = late Jan/early Feb. Which unfortunately means we most likely won’t see her birthday celebrated on screen. If we assume she was conceived on the date Pinned aired, aka the very sexy hotel scene, then January 21st or 22nd would be Jee’s birthday, depending on if she was born after midnight or not.
Buck has had at least one other Jeep between the one Maddie gave him, and the one he has now, which means that when he needs a new car, he is purposefully choosing Jeeps.
I hope this was all as interesting/enjoyable to you as it was to me! And just to repeat - I love answering questions so pls let me know if you have any at all ❤
🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝
Tagging: @buckbuckley
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perfect now - a close reading
only pure and true love for this one. it’s soft and sweet because the one he wrote it for is and needs cheesy uncool romcom soundtrack-worthy affirmations and it’s the most wonderful thing oh my the flurries 
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some album booklet art for your viewing pleasure
((just a warning for below: while the lyric analysis was kept fairly neutral and close to the words and their meaning, more and more parallels did ensure me larrying out by the time the analysis kicked off so if you’re not into that, you can skip this one!))
⟼ check out @bluewinnerangel​ ‘s magnificent post with all the parallels to 1d/h&l bc it’s exhaustive and was a source for mine <3 thank you again for your service <3 bc this song really is a fanpiece of every song that has been important to them throughout their career so far, whether they wrote it or not, and it’s honestly kinda impressive
SUMMARY
you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway
lyric breakdown ft. the many parallels, incl. little things, through the dark and wmyb
what this says about louis, his partner and the relationship he is in
never gonna dance again frenzy
identity 
louis is a marvellous majestic sonofabitch basically <3
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walls, track 10
~ little things “you still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me”
You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss
You don’t feel pretty and it’s hard to miss
later lyric: “like a neon sign” - i see through you trying to hide away your insecurities
I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you
“you” is also staring at him, but perhaps is too insecure to realise how mutual the adoration is
i wish i could get you out of your own negative spiral and give you a look at yourself from my perspective
~ wmyb “everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you” 
~ wmyb “right now i’m looking at you and i can’t believe you don’t know you’re beautiful”
~ little things “you never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you’ll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to. If I let you know, I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you”
On Friday night when we’re all out I turn to you and you’re looking down And you don’t wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance
heavy echoes of kmm again, but the opposite: the “nightmare on the dance floor” doesn’t want to dance
when “you” is confident rlly not being subtle with who i think that is, they love to dance <-> tpwk “feeling good in my skin, i just keep on dancing”
“i know you love to dance” = i know what you love bc i love you
“given half the chance” 
~ tpwk “giving/given second chances”
given a chance tattoo, making another appearance (see below for more tattoo meltdowns)
Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up
term of endearment <3 
~ dlibyh
this album is full of encouragement to keep going and as much as it gives me life it ruins me 
Don’t hide away, don’t ever change
“be happy, proud”
~ “just hold on”
“pick someone who’s supportive”
Keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don’t look away, don’t look away
don’t look away from me
~ through the dark “and I can see your head is held in shame”
Cause everybody’s looking at you now, my, oh my
they have the stage to themselves / new career paths they’re doing on their own
could also mean ppl they’re going out with are looking at them, which “you” interprets as sth negative, which makes them self-conscious, while they’re actually admiring them bc they steal the scene
~ wmyb “you’re turning heads when you walk through the door”
I guess some queens don’t need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still, somehow, you’re perfect now
“you” is royalty to louis, to put it simply 
they don’t need something on their head to make it known to everyone else - they’re a queen and everyone knows it
gendered: female - also used in drag contexts - the only time L has used any gendered word to identify his partner on the entire album (more on this below)
~ steal my girl "she's been my queen since we were sixteen" can't believe i forgot this one thank you @mortalenemiestolovers for reminding me!!!
~ falling
~ through the dark “you tell me that your tears are here to stay”
You never do, but if you asked me to I’ll tell the truth lying next to you
“you” never asks for affirmations directly, but by saying shit like their pants are too tight make it clear enough to L that they do need to hear once in a while that it’s not true
Cause you’re the only one when it’s said and done You make me feel like being someone 
Good to you even at your worst
~ always you
i love you so much you are a force of life to me, and even when you hate me i want more
~ drag me down “If I didn’t have you there would be nothing left, the shell of a man who could never be his best. If I didn’t have you, I’d never see the sun. You taught me how to be someone” (sung by louis first, harry second) 
~ through the dark “even if you scream and shout, it’ll come back to you and I’ll be here for you
You steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed
reference to working on a stage - their natural presence wins everyone over - that charisma is never manufactured
Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance I’ll never stop given half the chance
L keeps encouraging them, will also not pass by any chance to dance with them
Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away
“it’s hard to miss”
L sees through them trying to hide their insecurities, pretend to be strong
~ through the dark “but I know you were only hiding”
SYNTHESIS
Perfect Now is not a fan favorite and I am so not here for that discourse, so please do not pester me with negativity about this chocolate drop of a song. 
As others have pointed out, the parallels with other songs written by Louis, Harry or for One Direction are extremely present. Especially Little Things is echoed loudly, but there’s so much more to be read, as you’ve seen. These are songs that are clearly near and dear to Louis, bc he wrote them or bc performing them was special, like with Little Things and What Makes You Beautiful. A lot of the same emotions come back in Louis’s writing, so much so that you can’t help but see the larger story behind it all. Throughout Walls you can hear him singing about not giving up and holding your head high despite hardships, and if you look back at his earlier writing, it’s always been there. Through the Dark is an early and striking example of this style of Louis song: you’re sad and i love you so much i will do anything to make that undone but while you’re sad know that i sill very much love you and you’re also strong enough to conquer all of this on your own but i’ll be by your side anyway 
basically through the dark’s chorus:
Oh, I will carry you over Fire and water for your love And I will hold you closer Hope your heart is strong enough When the night is coming down on you We will find a way Through the dark
It is very clear that Louis is faced with a partner - I can freely say it’s Harry now right? are the antis gone by now? i think so - that struggles with his body, with his identity, with how he wants to present himself vs how opinions on that might push him down and dampen his spirit. Louis, always the supportive boyfriend, then tries his best to make him see the light, while keeping that space for his sadness, his struggles, or their joint struggles. Accept the sadness but don’t lose your heart to it.
I’ve linked @bluewinnerangel​ ‘s post at the start of this post, but I need to stress how good it is once more as I also shamelessly insert a screenshot from it here bc it makes me feel a lot and summarizes perfectly just how deeply Perfect Now is woven into the history of their lives, relationship and especially “you”s/Harry’s personal struggle with their identity/body/confidence...
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Because yes, i absolutely think these tattoos are being echoed in the song. “Never gonna dance again” as a lyric and then as a tattoo on Harry’s legs like shackles around his ankles represents the sensation of shame, of being stuck, bc of your desires, bc of your sexuality. Obviously we can never know why Harry got the tattoo, as in what experience pushed him to choose those lyrics or what exactly he recognizes in himself, but it’s safe to say it’s about the struggles of being queer and navigating relationships with that identity and with others.
Most importantly, the sense of shamelessly dancing, dancing like no one’s watching, dancing together with your lover, as a celebration of self, life, love, is the key here. Harry got that tattoo ages ago, at a time when he undoubtedly felt way more stuck. When he couldn’t dance freely the way he wanted to and with whom he wanted to. Perfect Now is a reminder to him, an encouragement to still dance if he wants to, no matter what people say or think. Significantly, then, Harry’s own Treat People With Kindness heavily features that same sentiment, but in an extremely positive light: i have found a place (in life and in myself) where i feel like i have given and was given second chances and now i dance bc i finally feel good in my skin.
Louis has obviously been there from the start, or at least from when or before Harry properly started experimenting with/questioning how he likes to present and how he identifies as. Before he ever dared to consider pulling on a pair of women’s skinny jeans, never mind a ball gown. Louis has seen him limit himself as well as being limited by others ofc and has always seemed to have been there, with a secure hand on Harry’s back, to encourage him. Even at a time when boys wearing nail polish or skirts was unthinkable. Just remember how much encouragement Harry needed when growing out his hair; Louis literally joined him. yes this might make me cry okay i need to stop bc i’m going off track and this is just becoming a larry breakdown while i was trying to hype up this beautiful song. 
What I’m trying to say is: Louis has always seen all of Harry. He’s always had his back, no matter what. He’s loved every part of him. And now, on a completely gender neutral album, in the sweetest, softest song off of the entire thing, Louis puts in the word “queen”, and that is so very deliberate it makes me want to scream. It’s Louis confirming his love again and again while affirming the multitudes contained by Harry, including everything involving his gender journey. brb crying
It’s a raw Louis, an honest, sweet, kind, loving partner, and both of them are fucking lucky to have each other, and I also wish that all of us end up in a caring and wholesome relationship like that. I truly do.
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tobesolonely · 4 years
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kindergarten teachers
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summary: teacher!harry and coworker y/n have a hard time coming to terms with their feelings for each other
a/n: ahhh she’s finally done! i’ve been working on this fic for sooo long and i hope u all like it! big thanks to @queencharry​ for helping me when i got stuck and beta reading, and @behindthatbabyface​ for beta reading as well and giving me feedback!! i appreciate u both <3 enjoy ~11.3k words of some mutual pining and teacher!h interacting with lil kindergarteners 🥺also i am sorry if theres any major grammar mistakes (as always) or crazy typos, i always miss some things when i go back and proofread that im sure i’ll catch later! thank u
warnings: smut, mentions of alcohol 
talk to me about harry and y/n! let me know your thoughts!!
my ko-fi! thank you :)
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From the time you were very young, you knew you wanted to be a teacher. One of your earliest childhood memories was going to school dressed up as one for career day. Your usually untamed hair was pulled back into a sleek bun (courtesy of your mother), and you donned a funky baby-pink sweater. For bottoms, you wore the closest thing to a pencil skirt you had in your five-year-old wardrobe. When you look back on the photographs your mother took of you that day, you did not resemble a teacher in any way. You were sure if you had not done your Career Day presentation in front of the whole class, no one would have even known who you were dressed up as.
Once you moved onto college and declared Education as a major, that was when people really started to let you hear their opinions on the career path you wanted to pursue. It seemed like whenever you went home for a holiday, relatives were always in your ear saying, “You know teachers don’t make a lot of money, right? Have you ever considered something in the sciences?”. You always responded, “I know, but what would the world do without teachers?”.
Eventually, you finished your undergraduate career, successfully completed student teaching with the highest praise from your superiors and colleagues, obtained your teaching credentials, and even went back to school to get your Master’s degree. So, it was much to everyone’s surprise when you settled on being a Kindergarten teacher. People assumed that because you completed so much schooling, you wanted to be a university professor. However, the thought never even crossed your mind. You always thought Kindergarten teachers were the most impressionable people out there and knew you wanted to be one.
To you, there was no greater responsibility than that of a Kindergarten teacher. It was your responsibility to teach your students reading, writing, art, and music at the most basic level. You showed them how to play with others, how to be kind, and give them the tools necessary to succeed once they leave your classroom. You were the first teacher your students ever had, so you needed to make them fall in love with school instead of hate it, considering they’d have to stick to it until they were at least eighteen. 
You’ve been a credentialed Kindergarten teacher for the last three years, and you’ve loved every moment of it. You were one of the younger teachers at school, but you never felt left out. Your colleagues were amazing people who often shared tips and tricks they wish they knew when they first started teaching.
Now, you were groggily unlocking the door to your classroom, feeling those first-day-of-school jitters you always felt. You knew kindergarteners weren’t there to harshly critique you. Still, you wanted them to go home and tell their parents about how excited they were to have you as a teacher, not run home in tears. That never happened, of course, but you didn’t want to take any chances. You drop your keys and mutter a quiet, “Shit!” setting your travel mug filled with coffee on the ground and readjust the box of donuts you had for your kids on your hip. As you reach for your keys, you hear a deep voice ask if you need help. You quickly turn around, eyes wide from being startled.
“Oh! You scared me,” you place your free hand over your chest. “But yeah, actually, that’d be great. I’m struggling to get my door open.” The man nods, his own keys he wore around his neck jangling as he retrieves first your keys, then your coffee mug.
“I’m Harry– Mr. Styles, if you want,” he holds your keys out for you to take, your coffee mug still in his large hands. “Uh, I’m the new Kindergarten teacher.” You give him a confused look and trade the box of donuts in your arms for your keys, opening the door. “The last one, Mrs. Brown, I think it was, I guess she decided a few weeks back that she wanted to retire.” You get your door open and walk inside your classroom, turning on the lights. It was a little stuffy, considering you hadn’t been there to open any windows in about a month.
“Oh, that’s right! Welcome,” you give him a warm smile. “I’m Y/N– Miss Y/L/N if you want.” A slight blush appears on his cheeks. “We’re gonna be working together then, it seems. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Mrs. Brown, but it’ll be nice to collaborate with someone closer to my age, you know?” Harry nods, and you realize he still had your coffee mug and box of donuts in his hands. “You can just set that on my desk, thanks for helping out. Would you like a donut?”
“Um, I- it’s okay,” he stammers, setting the items down. “Sorry, it’s just that I’ll probably crash if I have a donut first thing in the mornin’.” You smile at him and move to open all your windows and the back door, wanting the stuffy classroom to air out a bit before the children got here. 
“I totally get that,” you giggle, walking back over to your desk. “Are you excited about the first day? I always get a little nervous. I also talk a lot when I’m nervous, I’m sure you caught onto that.” 
For the first time that morning, Harry laughs. “Yeah, I’m nervous, too. ’ve never taught in the States before, so this is a bit new to me.” He’s playing with the keys hanging from his lanyard. 
“I noticed you had an accent, but I didn’t know if it was weird to ask about it. What brings you to California?” You open the box of donuts and take one out, wanting to eat it before it gets cold, and the glaze hardens.
“Uh, I went to University here, but when I graduated, I decided to go back home and teach for a couple of years. I really missed being here though and wanted to come back, so I got my credentials, and uh, here I am,” he tells you with a grin, and you notice he has deep dimples. 
“Well, we’re glad you’re here,” you tell him earnestly. “The kids are just gonna love your accent, too!” you joke and Harry laughs for the second time that day. 
“If all else fails, ’m hopin’ to charm everyone over with my accent,” he stares at you for a moment before speaking again. “Well, I better finish getting situated. It’s fifteen til, and I reckon the children will be arriving soon, yeah?” He asks. You nod. 
“Best to be waiting at parent drop-off too, there are always a few parents that are just as nervous as their babies, if not more, and could use a quick pep talk.”
“Thanks for lettin’ me know. I was thinking about standing out there anyway, just to make a good first impression.” You take another bite of your donut, giving him a thumbs up. 
“You’ve got this, Harry. I know you’re not completely clueless since you’ve taught before, but I know the first day can be a little intimidating. You know where I am if you need anything.” He gives you a grateful smile, quietly thanking you before turning to walk out the door. You’re left thinking about your new coworker, only being pulled from your thoughts of him when the first bell rings.
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“Good morning everyone, my name is Miss Y/L/N. Are you all excited to get this school year started?” A chorus of high-pitched yeses fills the room, and you smile warmly at your class. “I’m so excited that you’re all here! I have a little surprise for each of you!” You grab the box of donuts and walk back to the rug in the center of the room that the children usually sat on for storytime. Little gasps fill your ears, and they all say, “Donuts!” and “Yummy!”. You smile at the kids again, already feeling overwhelmed with how adorable they were. 
“We all get a donut?” one little girl asks, her eyes wide. You nod at her.
“Of course! Everyone will get a donut, sweetie.” You move to get the plastic food gloves you kept so you can safely hand out a donut to everyone. “Okay guys, I’m going to pass a stack of napkins around the room. Take one and pass the stack to the person sitting next to you. Does that make sense?” All the students nod their heads in confirmation, so you grab a stack and hand them to the child sitting closest to you. “Once the last person has their napkin, let me know, and then it’ll be donut time!” You say this over-enthusiastically, and the children squirm in their seats in excitement.
As you go around handing out donuts to each of your students, you learn their names and ask them to tell you one fun fact about them. Most children say things like, “I have a brother/sister!” or “I can run really fast!”, and you find it absolutely adorable. One thing you loved the most about teaching five-year-olds was their ability to think everything was cool. It was comforting to know that no matter what you did, they’d find you cool, and your first-day jitters quickly dissipated. As the children eat their donuts, you read them a story, putting on different voices for all the various characters. You show them how to raise their hand when they have something they’d like to share and remind them to use their “listening ears” when you or one of their classmates are speaking.
When it’s time for recess, you show them how to line up quietly at the door, and assign a line leader and a hall monitor. You remind the children that they will all get a turn at these tasks eventually because it’ll switch every week, and not to worry. As you’re walking down the hall backward (one of your teachers walks that you’d finally perfected), you hear Harry’s voice.
“Okay Room Ten, we’re gonna go out to the playground now, where you all will get to play every recess and lunch. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?” He asks them, and you hear little voices chattering out to him in excitement. You can’t help but peek into his classroom as you walked by, as his door was open. He didn’t see you because he was busy organizing his class into a straight line, so you keep going. Your class, who, much to your surprise, was walking very quietly, got loud once they saw the Kindergarten play area had a slide and monkey bars.
“We get to play on this?” one of your students, Destiny, questions. 
“Yup! This is a pretty cool play area, isn’t it?” They nod and stare at you, waiting for direction. “Oh, you can all go play and run around, get some of that energy out. When the bell rings, though, I want you to listen to the yard teachers because they’re gonna help get you all lined back up so we can go back inside. Deal?” The children give you nods and thumbs up, and you grin at them, telling them to have fun and be nice to one another. As you’re turning to go to the teacher’s lounge to refill your mug of coffee, you see Harry walking down the hallway with his class, and decide to wait for him. He gives his class the same spiel you gave yours and tells them to “Treat each other with kindness” before noticing you waiting for him.
“Hey,” he gives you a grin, looking far more relaxed than he did when you saw him earlier that morning. “How’s it going so far?”
“It’s great,” you reply, leading him in the direction of the teacher’s lounge. “They’re all adorable.”
“Yeah, don’t know what I was so nervous fo’. They’re great. Also, you’re right,” Harry has an amused look on his face. “The first thirty minutes of ’em bein’ there was just them askin’ me to say things because they think I sound funny.” 
“I told you!” you exclaim, laughing at him. “A British accent is definitely not something we hear every day, not here at least.”
“I figured,” he replies, and silence falls between you. “Where are we going, by the way?”
You stop in front of a blue door and sift through the keys on your lanyard, finally finding the one you were looking for. “Teacher’s lounge. Have you had the chance to check it out yet?” He shakes his head, and you pull open the door after having unlocked it. “After you.” He shakes his head and steps back, signaling you go ahead of him. You quirk an eyebrow at him, and he gives you a defensive look.
“What? ‘M a gentleman. Ladies first,” he insists, holding the door open. You walk inside the room, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes. There aren’t many teachers in the lounge. You figure they all must be in their classrooms, trying to do some last-minute organization and lesson planning amidst the first day of school chaos. However, a few colleagues that you’re rather fond of are in the room, so you take it upon yourself to introduce them to Harry.
“Hello everyone, I hope you’re all having a relaxing morning!” They chuckle lightly at your sarcasm. “I’d like you all to meet Mr. Harry Styles. He’s the new Kindergarten teacher that took Mrs. Brown’s place.” A look of realization washes over all three teachers’ faces, and they warmly greet him. Harry goes around, shaking each of their hands, voice dripping with charm.
“Lovely to meet you all. Looking forward to collaborating,” he tells them quietly. They begin engaging in polite conversation, so you leave Harry’s side, walking over to the coffee station to get what you came for before recess was over. He joins you shortly after, grabbing a disposable cup. “They were a nice bunch.” He mutters, pouring the steaming coffee into his cup. You hum in agreement.
“Everyone here is nice. The lounge is usually much more crowded than this. Everyone else must be in their rooms,” you flick your wrist up to check the time. “We got some time to sit down and breathe for a bit if you’d like? Unless you wanted to get back to your room.”
“‘M in no rush, trust me,” he tells you, flashing you a small smile. “Let’s take a seat.” Harry walks over to an unoccupied couch and sits down slowly, taking care not to spill his coffee. 
“You didn’t want a lid?” you question when you see him struggling. He shrugs.
“Not necessary. Jus’ some extra plastic,” you hum and look down at your lap. You were quickly learning that Harry was not a big talker, and he liked to get his point across in as few words as possible. Him being a Kindergarten teacher contradicted heavily with his rather bashful demeanor, but that just made him all the more endearing to you.
“Do you live nearby, or is your commute long?” you ask him after a few moments of silence. As soon as you ask the question, you internally cringe, feeling like it was too invasive. If Harry thought the question was weird, he doesn’t show it.
“I live in town. I actually walked here today, believe it or not,” he tells you with a chuckle. “Was such a beautiful morning that I figured I should.” Every time you think Harry can’t possibly get any more captivating, he does, and you find yourself biting back a smile.
“How long is your walk?” You cross your legs and then uncross them, a nervous habit that you had. Harry takes a sip of coffee, mulling your question over.
“I’d say it took me about twenty minutes. I was walkin’ at a pretty leisurely pace, though,” Harry shrugs. “How about you? Do you live nearby?”
“I also live in town, but I’m way too lazy to walk, so props to you,” you smile. “The best thing about living around here is seeing your kids out in public. It’s the cutest thing.” Harry smiles, not saying anything else. A silence falls over the two of you again but instead of feeling the need to fill it, you just sit beside him, drinking your coffee. Your mind wanders off to what you were going to do for the rest of the school day, if you had enough groceries in your apartment for dinner or if you should go grocery shopping after work, and if you remembered to pay your bills on time. The bell rings to signify the end of recess, and you jump slightly.
“Ready to go back?” Harry asks, standing up and walking back over to the coffee station. “Think’m gonna get a bit more.” You go to stand by the door, waiting for him to pour another cup of coffee. He quickly rejoins you, and the coffee sloshes a bit, some getting on his hand, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Hope those lil’ buggers got some of their energy out.”
“Right! Mine was even more hyper than they probably would’ve been ’cause I gave them those donuts this morning,” you laugh. “So, for my sake, I hope so too.” When you and Harry arrive back at the Kindergarten play area, your classes are already lined up quietly awaiting instruction, thanks to the yard teachers. You and Harry both thank them and move to stand in front of your kids. 
“Miss Y/L/N,” one of your children calls out from the back of the line. “Can we get more donuts when we go back inside?” You see Harry smile out of the corner of your eye as he’s giving instruction to his class.
“There are no more donuts, you guys ate them all! I have something even cooler than donuts planned for us, though, okay? Now, remember what I told you all about walking quietly, right? Mr. Line Leader, how does your line look? Do you think we’re all set to go back inside?” The child you appointed line leader turns around to look at everyone, occasionally shushing some people. After a few moments, he turns back to you, giving you a thumbs up. 
Harry moves to stand beside you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Wanna eat lunch together and do some planning? I feel like it would be a good idea for us to be teachin’ the same things, more or less.” Your body feels warm all over, and you just look at him and nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Harry smiles and places a hand on your shoulder. At a normal volume, he says, “See you then, Miss Y/L/N.” 
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Upon entering Harry’s room, you’re immediately met with the scent of vanilla and the loud hum of the air conditioning. It was bright, adorably decorated, and surprisingly decluttered. It was the polar opposite of your room, and you found it very welcoming and comforting. “Nice set-up you’ve got going on in here,” you tell him. He jumps in his seat at his desk, not having heard you come in.
“Fucks sake,” he mumbles, face going red. “You scared me. Thanks, though. My sister helped me decorate, I don’t really have an eye for this type of stuff.” He rubs the back of his neck, sheepishly. 
“Well, if you ever need any help decorating for back to school and your sister isn’t around, I’d be more than happy to help.” Harry smiles and suddenly gets up from his chair, offering it to you.
“Please, take my seat. I’ll just sit in one of the kids’ chairs,” he rolls it towards you, and you shake your head, about to object, but he interrupts you. “It’s okay, Y/N. Their chairs aren’t that bad.” You take the seat Harry was just in, mumbling a quiet thank you. He hums and pulls a tiny chair up beside you, legs scraping loudly across the floor. When he sits down in it, you can’t but burst out laughing.
“Harry, that chair is so tiny! Are you sure you don’t want me to sit there instead? You look so uncomfortable,” you tell him in between laughs. “This is your classroom, after all, I’m just a guest.” Harry shakes his head, cheeks flushed.
“It’s okay, Y/N, really. ‘M perfectly comfortable in this lil’ miniature chair,” he looks at the lunch bag you sat on his desk. “What’s for lunch?” You reach for your sack and unzip it, pulling out a pre-packaged salad from Trader Joe’s.
“I’m very lazy when it comes to packing my lunches,” you admit sheepishly, pulling out a fork. “How about you? Did you eat already?”
“Oh yeah, I had a green smoothie. Not a big lunch guy,” he replies calmly. “Wanna get started with planning? I think we only have about thirty minutes left.” He looks down at his watch to confirm the time. Harry opens his planner, and you see pages filled with his neat, blocky scrawl. He jumps right into talking about the ideas he had in mind, excitement filling his voice that you haven’t yet heard. 
The passion and enthusiasm he has for teaching are evident through the way he tells you about the activities he has planned, new materials and teaching methods he wants to try implementing, and things he’s tried before that didn’t work out the way he wanted them to. He asks you for your advice and listens intently when you speak, jotting down notes.
You find yourself having to mentally remind yourself not to stare at him. He was a handsome man– there was no denying that. He had curly brown hair, soft and wild-looking, the most beautiful green eyes you’d ever seen, and arms covered in tattoos. You also noticed he had the tiniest cross on his left hand. You wanted to ask him about it, but you figured that was a conversation for another time. 
“Y/N? Did you hear what I just said,” Harry asks, giving you a concerned look. “Are you alright? I think you just zoned out for a couple minutes or somethin’.” You nod quickly, feeling your palms growing sweaty.
“Oh yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about something I have to do later. What did you just say?” You play off how you were just wholly drooling over your new coworker, feeling scrutinized under his piercing gaze.
“Jus’ got an email from the principal. Said we have a faculty meetin’ after school at three. Wanna go together?” He asks. You know Harry’s asking you to accompany him primarily because you’re the only person he really knows so far. However, it still makes you feel warm and special. “He said we’re gonna go over some planning for the Fall Festival. What’s that?”
“Oh, it’s just the back-to-school festival. It’s adorable,” you explain. “It’s like a mini carnival that we have right here on the playground. Every year they have teachers host booths. It’s a great way to get to meet your kids’ parents and bond with the other faculty.” Harry nods, standing up from the tiny chair right as the bell signifying the end of lunch rings.
“That sounds lovely,” he chirps, smiling down at you. “We’re gonna have the best booth out of everyone Y/N, trust me.” He jokes, the corner of his eyes crinkling. This was the most Harry had talked since you met him that morning and you were enjoying witnessing him open up to you more and more with each conversation shared.
“It is,” you stand up as well, gathering your trash and empty lunch pail. “Thanks for having me, Harry. Next time we can meet in my room. I wouldn’t mind making this a daily thing.” As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you physically wince, figuring Harry had to think you were obsessed with him at this point. He looks down, the corners of his mouth upturned when he makes eye contact with you again.
“I’d like that, Y/N. I’ll actually start bringin’ a proper lunch, so you’re not the only one eating,” you smile. “I’ll meet you in your room after school?” You nod in confirmation, walking out the door in front of him. 
“See ya later.”
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“Did everyone have a good day today?” You ask your class, walking backward to the dismissal gate. You’re met with a chorus of cheerful sounding ‘yeses,’ and you place your hand over your heart in a dramatic fashion. “That makes me so happy, everyone! You’re all incredible little people, and I think we’re gonna have a fantastic year. What do you guys think?” The children chatter excitedly, glad to have made it through their first day of school and see their parents on the other side of the gate eagerly awaiting them, cell phones snapping pictures. 
Harry’s already at the gate, waiting for the bell to ring so he can dismiss his class. He’s walking down the line asking each of the children if they see who they’re supposed to go home with, crouching down to their height so they can point them out to him. Some children in his class look a little upset because they don’t see their parents yet. Harry quickly consoles them, telling them they can all play a fun game together while they wait for their ‘Mummies and Daddies.’
You do the same with your kids, and by the time the bell rings and you finish dismissing the ones who saw someone there to pick them up, there was one child from your class who was still waiting and two from Harry’s. He walks over to you, one of their tiny hands in each of his. The boy looks unbothered, but the girl was beginning to cry.
“Hey, Ava, should we ask Miss Y/L/N and her friend if they want to play iSpy with us? The more, the merrier, isn’t that right?” He looks down at her, and she nods, looking down. You figure she’s one of his more shy students he was telling you about earlier.
“Hi, sweetie! I’m Miss Y/L/N, are you waiting for your mom or dad?” She nods, biting her lip. You turn and gesture to your one student who was waiting as well. “Well, so is she! Don’t worry, they’ll be here.”
“I’m Matthew,” the little boy holding Harry’s other hand informs you, shifting from foot to foot. You give him a big smile.
“Hello, Matthew! I love your Spiderman shirt; he’s just the coolest. Jade, do you want to introduce yourself to Mr. Styles, Ava, and Matthew? Remember when we learned about introductions today in class? When you got to introduce yourself to all your classmates?”
Jade nods, a big, toothy grin on her face. “Hi! My name is Jade, and I am five-years-old but my birthday is September 19th, so I’m actually almost six-years-old,” she tells them matter-of-factly. “It’s very nice to meet you!” She adds, remembering the script you gave them earlier. Harry looks down at her, an impressed look on his face.
“Well, it is very lovely to meet you too, Jade! Do we all know how to play iSpy?” Jade and Matthew shout in excitement, but Ava just grips tighter onto Harry’s hand. He looks down at her again. “Do y’ want Miss Y/L/N and I to show you how to play, Ava?” His voice is very quiet, slow, and soothing. She nods, letting go of his hand.
“Well Ava,” you say, looking around for something to start the game out with. “I would say, “I spy with my little eye something green. Then you, Mr. Styles, Matthew, and Jade, would have to look around and name out everything that’s green. If you name something and it’s not it, then I will tell you nope, and you can try again, but if you figure it out, then you’re the winner! Does that make sense?”
She nods, and you see a gleam of excitement in her eyes. “Can I go first?” She asks quietly. You tell her, yes, and she looks around quickly, trying to find something to say. “I spy with my little eye something blue!” She has a triumphant smile on her face, and even though you immediately know she’s talking about the sky and you’re sure Harry does too, you both decide to take a step back and let the children take the game into their own hands.
“Y’know, that lil’ introduction Jade gave was really somethin’. I didn’t even think about teachin’ my kids that. Think I’ll try that out tomorrow,” Harry whispers, craning his neck slightly to be at your ear. You shiver at the feeling of his warm breath against your skin. 
“Yeah, I feel like that’s always a good first day of school activity for them to do. A lot of them have never really been exposed to people outside of their immediate family, so they’re not too sure how to talk to others.” Harry hums, standing back up straight.
“Mr. Styles,” Matthew calls, running over to Harry. “My mommy is here. Can I go now?” Harry nods, telling Matthew to wait for him so he can say hi to his mother. You watch as he walks away, overhearing as he tells the boy’s mother what a great job he did today and how he’s so excited to go through this school year with him in his class. Ten minutes later, Jade and Ava are gone as well, and Harry locks the dismissal gate. 
“I forgot how exhausting the first day could be,” he tells you, letting out a quiet sigh. “Ready to go to that meeting, though? It’s just about three.” You check your watch and see the time read at 2:57 PM.
“Yeah, just let me grab my bag, and we can head over there. I’m really hoping this won’t take too long; I was planning on going grocery shopping after this,” you walk down the hall towards your classroom and feel Harry’s gaze on you.
“Where do you like to go grocery shopping?” he asks after a few moments of silence. “I need to pick up some groceries this week, too. ’ve been eatin’ takeout for the past week, and I’m starting to feel like shit.” You laugh, unlocking your door. Harry stands outside, holding it open while you grab your purse and lunch bag.
“Honestly, I don’t have a preference. I switch it up a lot,” you shrug, making sure all the windows are closed before walking out. “Was there something, in particular, you were looking for?”
“Uh,” Harry scratches the back of his head. “No? Maybe you could text me a list of all your favorite stores, though. Jus’ so I won’t forget.”
You quirk an eyebrow at him, ignoring how fast your heart was beating. “Are you asking for my number, Mr. Styles?”
“I guess I am,” he replies nonchalantly. “We’re gonna be workin’ together a lot. Might as well have your number– if that’s okay, I mean.” He looks down at you.
“Yeah, remind me after the meeting,” you tell him, trying your hardest to play it cool. “Don’t let me forget.”
“Trust me, I won’t.”
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“So Y/N and Harry, you two will be in charge of the pumpkin decorating booth? Is that right?” The principal looks down at his notes and then shifts his gaze between the both of you. You both nod.
“Yeah, I’m excited! I think it’ll be a lot of fun,” you reply excitedly. “We can go to the craft store and get a bunch of paints, but where do you think the best place to get the pumpkins would be?” You pull out your planner, ready to jot down any suggestions.
“You two could try going to a pumpkin patch? They’re starting to pop-up around town,” one teacher suggests. “I’m sure if you purchased a bunch and told them it was for a school event, we could get some kind of deal.” The rest of the faculty buzzes in agreement.
“Y/N and Harry, could you get to a pumpkin patch sometimes this week and see if they can give us an estimate of how much it would cost? Then I could let the PTA know.” You and Harry confirm that it will be possible to do sometime this week, and the meeting continues on.
By the time you’re finally free to leave the meeting, it’s already growing dark outside. Harry’s hands are shoved in his pockets, and he’s looking down at his feet. “So–”
“Do you want–”
You both stop, laughing awkwardly. “You go first.” you tighten the grip on your purse.
“Uh, I was jus’ gonna ask if I could get your number now. Yanno, so we can plan when we’re gonna go get all the stuff for our booth? And you still gotta tell me what your favorite grocery stores are,” he has a playful look in his eyes. For the thousandth time that day, your hands become clammy. There was just something about every interaction you had with him that made you so nervous. 
“Oh yeah,” you answer coolly, digging in your purse for your phone. “Just text your number, so I have it.” You hand him his phone, and he stops dead in his tracks, a look of concentration on his face. 
“I can’t walk and be on the phone at the same time,” he mutters when he looks back up and realizes you were watching him the whole time. “I don’t know how people do it.” He hands you back your phone. “What were y’ gonna ask me?”
“I was just um, I was gonna ask if you wanted me to give you a ride home? I mean, since you walked to work today and it’ll be dark soon,” talking to Harry made you feel like a nervous school girl interacting with her first crush, and you hated that feeling.
“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”
“It’s no bother, really,” you cut him off, and you realize you sound a little eager, but at that point, you didn’t even care. “I’m sure we don’t live too far from each other.” Harry looks slightly unsure but nods, and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
“If you’re sure, Y/N. I appreciate it, I owe you one,” he’s following behind you to the teacher parking lot. You silently pray your car isn’t messy inside like it usually is as you approach it. You decide to pick up your pace and walk ahead of him, telling yourself if the passenger side was messy, you’d just quickly throw everything in the back. “Heyyyy, why’re you walkin’ so fast? Are you sure you’ve got the time to take me home?” He takes a few big strides and quickly catches up with your hurried, tiny ones.
“Yeah, of course, I have time,” you respond, unlocking your car as you approach it. “If it’s messy, then just ignore it.” you preface, honestly not remembering the state in which you left your car this morning when you walked into work.
“Don’t worry about it. You should see mine,” Harry jokes, and it immediately puts you at ease. As you’re about to open your door, Harry quickly rushes to your side, opening it himself. “Let me.” 
His hand rests over yours, and you quickly pull it away, your body heating up. “Harry, I’m already right here. I can open my own car door.” 
“I know you can. But I’m a gentle—“ 
“You’re a gentleman, I know,” you playfully roll your eyes and take a step back, allowing Harry to open your car door all the way. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t flattered and honestly a little bit turned on. He flashes you a smile as you situate yourself behind the wheel of the car and makes sure you’re all the way in before slamming it shut. You see him lightly jog around to the passenger side, and soon enough, he’s beside you, your car immediately starting to smell like his cologne. 
“What music do you like to listen to?” Harry asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 
“You ask me a lot of random questions, Harry,” you reply, looking behind you as you slowly back out. 
“Is it a crime to wanna get to know my new coworker?” you can hear a smile in his voice. “C’mon. What’s your favorite music to listen to?” 
You shrug, looking both ways before exiting the parking lot. “Where do you live?” 
“I don’t know my address yet. Just take a left at this light coming up. Favorite music?” Out of the corner of his eye, you see him scrolling through his music library. 
“You don’t know your address yet?” 
“No. I’ll play something random,” he says, tapping his hand on his knee. “You can take a right at that stop sign up there.” You put on your blinker and glance over your shoulder before switching lanes. Harry quickly pairs his phone with your Bluetooth, and a song you’re unfamiliar with blares through your speakers. Neither one of you says anything else, only speaking to each other when he’s giving you directions to his house, and you’re confirming what he said.
After two more songs, Harry says, “S’right up here.” He’s led you to a beautiful apartment complex— one you were looking at when you were moving out of your parent’s home but just couldn’t afford as a new graduate. You expertly parallel park and then turn the car off, a silence falling between the two of you.
“This is a nice complex,” you tell him after a moment. “Really close to school. I see why you opted to walk to work today.” 
“Mhm,” he hums. His seatbelt is still fastened. “I understand if you’re busy, but did you wanna come in?” You raise an eyebrow at him, and he quickly backtracks. “I mean— it’s just— remember the activity you taught your kids today? About introductions? Jus’ wanted to know if you could walk me through it, that’s all.” 
“Oh. Well yeah, I can hang out for a bit.” You unbuckle your seatbelt and reach in the backseat for your purse that you threw haphazardly over your shoulder earlier. 
“Will your boyfriend be okay with you coming in, though?” He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“What makes you think I have a boyfriend?” You’re slightly taken aback and oddly flattered that he thought you were in a relationship.
“I dunno,” his face grows red. “You got all weird when I opened doors for ya. Figured you had a boyfriend.”
“I don’t.”
“Cool.” More silence falls, this time an awkward one.
“Should we go inside now?” you unlock the doors, quickly getting out of the car. Harry follows behind you and waits for you to walk onto the sidewalk before going up the walkway.
“How close do you live to me?” Harry asks, punching in his gate code. He pulls the gate open and gestures for you to go ahead of him. You decide not to comment on it this time.
“A couple blocks away. I could probably walk over here if I was in the mood to,” Harry shuts the gate behind you and walks over to the first set of stairs, taking them two at a time. “I was interested in this complex when I was moving out of my parents’ but I settled on something else.” He hums, stopping in front of the first door at the top of the stairs. There’s a brown ‘Welcome!’ mat outside his door, along with a few potted plants.
“Here we are,” he looks over his shoulder as if he’s checking if you’re still there. “Excuse the boxes. ‘M not done unpacking yet.” He pushes open the door and steps in, quickly turning on the light. You’re met with the same sweet scent of vanilla that’s in his classroom. Considering he was in the process of unpacking, his apartment was reasonably tidy.
“It looks good in here,” your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. You were in your coworker’s house that you just met that day, and you could already feel yourself developing a crush on him. There was obviously no way you’d let this relationship progress past anything strictly professional, but that didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to admire his beauty.
“Thanks,” he gives you a smile, relief washing over his face. “You can set your bag down if you want. Take a seat, make yourself at home.” He leaves the room, and you hear him rattling around in the kitchen. “Can I get you anything to drink? Wine? Coffee? Tea?”
“Coffee sounds great,” you reply. You set your purse down on his coffee table and sit on the edge of his couch, inspecting his living room closer. There were two books on the table, both flipped upside down as a way to mark his page. There were a few more plants inside, similar to the ones in front of his door. There was a framed picture of him with two beautiful women you assumed to be his mother and sister. Harry comes back into the room a few minutes later, two steaming cups of black coffee in hand.
“Here you are, Miss Y/L/N,” he puts on an exaggerated posh accent, and you giggle.
“Why thank you, Mr. Styles,” you respond in the same voice. “Do you have cream and sugar?”
He wrinkles his nose. “I think I might have sugar. Is oat milk, okay? I don’t have cream.” He goes back to his kitchen to retrieve the items before you can tell him it’s okay, and you’ll just drink it black. You thank him, pouring the tiniest splash of oat milk into your coffee. You can feel his eyes on you as you add a bit of sugar, stir, taste, and then add some more.
“So,” you begin after your coffee is made to your liking. “What did you think about your first day? You can be honest since we’re not on campus anymore.” Harry laughs, looking down at his fingernails.
“Uh,” he starts. You notice he says, ‘uh’ a lot. “It was terrific. Not so sure I would’ve felt the same way if I didn’t have you to help me through it.” 
“We’re partners in crime now, Harry. We’re the two Kindergarten teachers, and you’re the only other person there my age? We’ve definitely gotta stick together,” you give him a big smile. He doesn’t smile back but looks a bit troubled instead. You wait for him to speak, coming to accept that long pauses were just a thing when having a conversation with Harry.
“Y’know how I assumed you had a boyfriend earlier? I thought after I’d said that–– rather I hoped after I said that you’d be like,” he clears his throat. “‘Why, no! I don’t have a boyfriend. Do you have a girlfriend?’” He put on the worst American accent you’d ever heard to imitate your voice, causing you to laugh. “To which I would’ve replied with a simple ‘no.’” 
Now it’s your turn to leave Harry wondering what you’re thinking for the first time all day. You can feel his eyes on you as you look at his couch cushions, noticing a bit of crumbs that you hadn’t seen before. “Are you flirting with me?”
“I think you’re beautiful.”
“You don’t even know me. We just met today.”
“Does that mean I can’t think you’re beautiful?”
You bite your lip, feeling yourself starting to grow a bit turned on by his forwardness. There was a part of you that would risk it all for just one night in bed with Harry because you just found him that attractive. The rational, adult side of you was screaming, ‘Don’t mix business with pleasure!’. By now, you had both moved closer on the couch to one another, knees nearly touching. “I think you’re beautiful, too.” He grins, setting his coffee cup down. You do the same.
“Would it be crazy of me to tell you that I really wanna kiss you right now?” His face is mere inches from yours, so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath. You shake your head.
“No. I really wanna kiss you too.”
“C’ mere, then.” 
Harry leans forward a bit more until his lips are ghosting over yours. You pull at the collar of his shirt, bringing his already close body even closer to yours. His lips are softer than they look, and he’s a better kisser than you thought he’d be, too. He brings his hands up to tangle them in your hair, and that’s when you abruptly pull away, not wanting things to go too far. “We shouldn’t…” He looks at you with sad eyes, but he nods, understanding what you mean.
“Probably not the best idea?” his response comes out as more of a question than a statement, but you nod in agreement anyway.
“Definitely not. I’m um–– I’m actually gonna go,” you stand up, slinging your purse over your shoulder. “Thanks for the coffee, Harry. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, see––”
You’re out the door, rushing down the stairs before he can even finish his sentence.
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The rest of the school week goes on without either one of you mentioning it. It’s a little awkward for a couple of days, but by the time Friday rolls around, both of you decide the best course of action to take regarding the kiss would be to act like it never happened. 
You’re in your room at lunch hanging up your kids’ artwork they made during their ‘Free Time’ this morning, having declined Harry’s lunch invitation for the fourth time that week. You decided to pretend to be busy with work so you wouldn’t be too tempted to go into his room. To most people, you’re sure it looked like you were avoiding him–– and maybe you were. However, you were trying to get over this crush on him in the best way that you knew how.
“Need some help?”
You jump, nearly falling backward off the stepstool you were on. “Holy shit, Harry! You scared the hell out of me!” You feel your body getting warm, and you quickly look away, not wanting him to see how flustered you were.
“Sorry, you weren’t answering my texts, so I decided to come see what you were up to,” he walks over to where you were standing and hands you a piece of art, smiling at it before handing it to you. “You’ve got some artists in your class.”
“Mhm,” you hum, not looking him in the eyes. You hear him let out a quiet sigh.
“Still able to go see about getting those pumpkins ordered after work?”
You had completely forgotten that you and Harry decided today would be the day you’d go get the pumpkin situated figured out for your booth. For a second, you consider making an excuse to get out of it, but you decide against it. This was something that both of you were asked to do, not just him, and you didn’t want the fact that you let your attraction to him cloud your judgment getting in the way of your professional responsibilities.
“Yeah, that works.”
He doesn’t say anything, and even though you’re not looking at him, you can see the gears in his head turning. “Should we talk––” 
You’re quite literally saved by the bell, the end of lunch interrupting where you knew he was about to lead the conversation. “I’ll see you after school? Did you walk here again? I can drive.” Harry nods slowly.
“Uh, yeah. he replies. “I walked. Uh, ’m gonna go get my kids. See you after school then?”
“Yup!” you respond, fake enthusiasm in your voice. Harry gives you one more look before walking out of your room. You wait until he’s all the way down the hall before following behind him to bring your class back inside. You knew you were the one making things awkward between you and Harry. However, the realistic part of you knew getting involved with your coworker was one of the worst ideas you’d ever had in your life. For now, you’d just tell yourself that you were probably more into Harry than he was into you and pray that would be enough to make you get over your crush.
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“I haven’t been to a pumpkin patch since I was a kid.” Harry stuffs his hands farther into his pockets while yours are tightly hugging your chest. You hum, not saying anything. The car ride there was a little awkward, and you were glad it was so short. You could tell there was a lot Harry wanted to say, but you were glad he wasn’t saying it. You keep seeing him glance at you, but you pretend not to notice.
“What size pumpkins should we ask for? Small ones, huh?” Harry nods, looking around in childlike awe. There was a small petting zoo, booths selling warm drinks and kettle corn, and an obscene amount of children.
You walk around together for a moment before encountering a friendly-looking employee who looked like he could help you out. Harry takes over, explaining the situation, and why you need to order one hundred tiny pumpkins. While you’re waiting for the employee to ask the owner if that would even be possible, Harry turns to face you.
“Y/N? Can we talk about what happened on Monday?” you’re about to tell him that you’d rather not, but he continues. “I felt something during that kiss, Y/N. I’m not sure if you felt it too, but I don’t want things to be awkward between us. We have to get through an entire school year working side-by-side, and if you’re not interested, then I respect that one hundred percent, but I just want––”
“So the owner said that is possible!” The employee that was helping you out comes back with a form and clipboard in their hand. “Can you just fill out some information and let us know what time you need it tomorrow? The owner said he could get it delivered and give you guys a discount since you’re ordering so much.”
“That’s great!” you exclaim, taking the form from him. You were glad to have been saved from your conversation with Harry. You quickly go through and fill out everything you can, telling them they can bill your school’s PTA. 
The walk back to your car is silent. You’re replaying what Harry was saying to you over in your head, thinking about what he was going to say before he was interrupted. He opens your car door like he’s been doing, but he doesn’t make eye contact with you or say a word as he slides into the passenger seat.
“Y’can just drop me off,” Harry says quietly. He leans your seat back and closes his eyes. You wait to see if he’ll connect his phone, but he doesn’t, so you turn on the radio at a volume so low it almost can’t be heard. It takes everything in you not to speed back to his place. You just wanted him out of your car. You had such strong feelings for him that it physically hurt, and restraining yourself from telling him how you really felt was growing harder and harder.
“We’re here.” your voice is a little hoarse from not saying anything. Harry slowly opens his eyes and unbuckles his seatbelt, opening the door.
“Right. Thanks for the ride. What time do we need to be at school to set up our booth by?”
“Four. I can pick you up if you want?”
“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Y/N.” He closes the door and walks up to his gate without looking back at you once.
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“Hi Miss Y/L/N! Hi Mr. Styles!”
Groups of your students had been coming up to you excitedly all evening. It made you happy to see that the Kindergarten classes were no longer divided. They were starting to hang out with one another. Their parents tell you how their children thought it was just the coolest thing to be on school grounds on a Saturday, and how even though it was only a week into the school year, they were having the best time. It was comments like this that made you fall in love with your job all over again.
Things between you and Harry were going well. It wasn’t awkward, but you think it was because you were both too busy helping children paint their pumpkins. You were glad that Harry didn’t take the bit of downtime the two of you had when no one was at your booth trying to talk about the kiss and instead talked about other random things instead. You find out he loves baking (specifically, bread), he has an obsession with old music, and has about fifty tattoos. He talks to his mom on the phone every day, and he is extremely close to his sister. You tell him about your parents’, your undergraduate experience, your hobbies, and you finally tell him what music you like to listen to.
The festival quickly comes to an end, and you find yourself sad once you and Harry are done cleaning up your booth, knowing that you were just going to drop him off at his apartment and go back to yours to spend another Saturday night alone. You get to his complex almost too quickly, and you almost want to keep going and pretend you accidentally missed it just to be with him a bit longer. Instead, you park.
“D’ya wanna come inside?” He blurts out. Even in the darkness of your car, you can tell his face is flushed. “I mean if you haven’t got plans. I know it’s a Saturday night, so I understand if––”
“Nope, I don’t have plans. I’d love to.” Your hands are shaky as you unbuckle your seatbelt. He quickly gets out of your car and runs around to your side, opening the door for you before you can do it yourself. You almost don’t even notice since it was becoming such a habit.
“I picked up this new bottle of wine a couple days ago that’ve been wanting to pop open. Think we deserve a glass or two after such a long week, hmm?” You wordlessly nod, wholly mesmerized with just how good Harry looked after such a long day of work. His curls fell perfectly across his forehead, his eyes were sparkling and full of excitement. 
“A glass of wine sounds great,” you reply with a chuckle. “I’m ready to drink a whole bottle by the end of the week if I’m being honest.” Harry laughs, quickly punching in his gate code. You could see his hands shaking a little bit, but you decide not to comment on it. He takes the stairs up to his apartment two at a time like he did last time you were there, but this time there’s an urgency and clumsiness to his actions that you haven’t seen before. He jams the key in his lock, quickly shoving the door open.
His apartment is a little messier than it was when you were in it at the beginning of the week, but it’s nothing disgusting. He runs his fingers through his curls, moving aside papers that were scattered along the length of the couch. “Sorry, I was doin’ some planning. Make yourself comfortable.” He disappears to the kitchen, and moments later, you hear the pop of a wine cork and the smooth sound of him pouring the alcohol into glasses.
He emerges from his kitchen, handing you a generously poured glass of wine. “Thanks, Harry,” you tell him before taking a big sip. It was sweet, and while you usually preferred a more dry wine, it was still delicious. 
“Cheers to the end of a successful first week,” he holds up his glass, and you smile, clinking yours with his. “Thanks for helpin’ me get through it, Y/N. Couldn’t have done it without you.” You give him a timid smile.
“Stop, Harry. You’re a great teacher. I can see your kids love you already,” you take another sip of wine. “I kinda do too. I mean–– that came out wrong. I don’t love you, but I do think I like you.” You didn’t know what came over you at that moment, but something told you now was the time to lay it all out on the table with Harry. He sets his glass of wine down, the biggest smile on his face.
“Really? I thought you weren’t interested. Was kinda startin’ to feel like you hate me,” he sounds a little sad. You shake your head.
“Quite the opposite, actually. I’m really into you,” you didn’t even realize how you’d inched your way towards Harry. “I’ve been trying not to think about how we kissed because we shouldn’t, you know? We’re coworkers. I’ve been trying not to think about it all week, though, and I just can’t get you out of my mind.” He stares intensely into your eyes, chewing on the inside of his cheek like he usually does when he’s thinking.
“Can I kiss you, Y/N?” he finally asks. You’re in the same position as you were last time, being mere inches away from the other’s lips. Only this time, you smell the wine on his breath, not coffee. You nod quickly, and Harry cups your face in his hands, hungrily pressing his lips against yours.
“You can do more than kiss me, actually,” you tell him breathlessly. “You can do whatever you want with me.”
Harry raises an eyebrow, a shocked look on his face. “When you say anything…” he trails off.
“I want you to fuck me, Harry,” you tell him bluntly. “Please. Been wanting that all week.” He licks his lips, looking at you in a way he hasn’t yet before. 
“I can definitely do that,” he replies, resting his hand on your thigh. His large hand is dangerously close to your pussy, and you can already feel yourself growing wet. “Let’s get all these clothes off you then, huh?” 
You stand up and quickly start removing your clothes. First, your blouse comes off, and that’s quickly followed by your bra. Harry’s leaning back on the couch, arms resting behind his head. “Enjoying the show?” you ask, quickly pulling down your jeans and underwear. You’re completely naked in front of him in thirty seconds flat, and you reckon that’s the fastest you’ve ever undressed for anything. 
“Very much so,” he mumbles, palming himself over his khakis. “C’ mere, Y/N.” he pats his lap, and you move to sit in it, now straddling him. He softly presses his lips against yours, the hunger that was there just a moment ago completely dissipated. This was a much more hesitant kiss, more gentle and tender. “You’re really beautiful, Y/N.”
You giggle. “I know. You’ve told me that before.”
“I want you to know how much I mean it.”
“I know you do.”
Harry nods. “Can I have a taste of ya now?” you notice that his accent sounds a bit thicker than usual, voice a tad gruffer. You nod, swallowing thickly. Climbing off Harry, you lay back on the couch, situating yourself, so it’s a little more comfortable. He looks into your eyes, placing his hands on your knees. “Is this okay, Y/N?” You nod again, and he removes his hands.
“What’s wrong?” your voice has a hint of desperation in it, but after a week of extreme sexual tension, you wanted nothing more than to cum by the hands of this man.
“Wanna hear you tell me it’s okay. I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want,” he’s looking down at his hands.
“Harry, I wouldn’t have given you a striptease and laid back on this couch for you if I didn’t want it. I wholeheartedly give you permission to do whatever you want with me––”
That’s enough for him. He roughly pries your legs open, immediately licking a long stripe up your heat. You cry out, not expecting him to get right into it. You look down at him and groan when you see he’s making eye contact with you, a smug look on his face. “How’s tha’, love?” You nod, tangling your hands in his curls.
“Yeah Harry, please,” you moan. Harry sucks harshly at your clit, pulling off loudly, the sound echoing throughout his minimally furnished apartment.
“Please what, pet?” He’s looking you dead in the eyes, a devilish grin on his face while his index finger rubs small circles on your clit. Your chest is heaving up and down quickly as you try to calm your breathing down.
“Please make me cum on your tongue, Harry,” you try pushing his head back down to your cunt, but he doesn’t budge.
“Think I rather like hearin’ you beg like this fo’ me. Enjoyin’ watching you squirm like tha’, love.” Just as your about to beg for him some more to feed his inflated ego, he attaches his lips to your clit once more, this time adding his ring finger into your tight pussy. “You’re tight. Sure you’ll be able to take my cock?” His voice is muffled, and you just barely make out what he says.
You clench around his finger, and he laughs, the vibrations sending a new sensation across your clit. “Y’like thinkin’ about my cock, hmm?”
“Yeah, want you in me,” you beg, lifting your hips up. He grips onto your hips tightly, keeping you in place.
“Can feel yeh gettin’ ready for me, darlin’. Think you can take another one?” You nod, and Harry gently places kitten licks on your swollen clit while he slowly pushes his middle finger into you. You feel full in a way you haven’t felt in such a long time, and he only had two fingers in you. Once he pumps his fingers in and out of you a few times, he goes back to harshly sucking on his clit, moaning every so often so you can feel the vibrations against your cunt.
“Fuck,” you’re moaning loudly, and you pray Harry’s neighbors don’t hear you, knowing how thin apartment walls were.
“So fuckin’ wet for me, doll,” he mutters, adding another finger inside you. The burn feels amazing, and you place your hand on his wrist, urging him to go faster. “Gonna cum in my mouth, hmm? Gonna let me feel ya around m’ fingers?”
“Yes, please, Harry,” you feel yourself nearly there, your orgasm threatening to overtake you at any moment. 
“Give it to me then, Y/N. Cum for me,” he demands. As soon as he says those three words, you’re done for, your body going tense as waves of pleasure roll throughout your body. He doesn’t remove his digits from the your cunt until you’re coming down from your high, placing a kiss to your clit. He laughs as you shudder at the overstimulation. Harry places his three fingers that were just inside of you and his mouth and sucks on them, not once breaking eye contact with you. 
“That was really good,” you tell him, crawling on your knees towards him to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw—Harry’s beaming, a triumphant look on his face.
“Not yet. Gotta make y’ cum one more time. I’m a gentleman, after all.” You know he’s messing with you but also serious, so you lean back on the couch, opening your legs once again.
“Are you gonna take off your clothes too? Why am I the only one that’s naked?” Harry laughs, and you hear the clanking of his belt as he undoes it. 
“You’re impatient, aren’t ya?” you nod, and he pulls down his tenting khakis and tight boxers. His cock springs up, slightly touching his stomach, and he hisses at the feeling. “Hold on a sec.” He gets up quickly, and you hear him hurry to what you assume in the bathroom, rummaging around. He comes back a minute later with a box of condoms, making you laugh.
“Is that a new box of condoms? Have you been holding onto those all week, Mr. Styles?” Harry rolls his eyes and opens the box, ripping open a condom expertly with his teeth.
“Weren’t you just the one beggin’ for me, pet? I’d watch it if I were you,” he jokes, rolling the condom onto his hard length. He leans down to place wet, opened mouth kisses to your breasts. “So beautiful.”
“Are you gonna take off your shirt?” you ask quietly. “I kinda wanna see all your tattoos.” Harry raises an eyebrow at you but unbuttons his shirt nevertheless, throwing it into the mess of clothes scattered around the living room. You reach your hand up, shakily tracing the swallows on his chest, moving down to the butterfly across his stomach and finally to the ferns on his abdomen. Harry’s staring down at you, watching as you delicately touch his skin. “You have so many.” you finally say. He nods.
“Yeah. Some of them I just got for the hell of it. Felt like after I got that first tattoo, it was hard to stop.” He caresses the skin on your thighs, and you shudder again. “Gonna let me get inside that pretty lil’ cunt now?”
“Please.”
Harry aligns himself with your entrance and slowly pushes into you, sharply inhaling as you clench around his length. “Relax, Y/N.’ve got ya,” he tells you reassuringly. “Can’t get inside ya if you’re all tense like tha’.” You can tell Harry’s trying his hardest not to absolutely wreck you, the vein in his forehead very prominent from clenching his jaw so tightly. You grip tightly onto his bicep, biting your lip as you adjust to his size. You were so wet and indescribably turned on that you felt every vein his thick cock had to offer, and you knew you wouldn’t last long once he started moving. By the looks of it, Harry wouldn’t either.
“You can move,” you tell him, squeezing your eyes shut. Harry slowly pulls out of you and then ever so gently sinks back inside you, bottoming out. He lets out a breathy moan, moving one of his hands up to tweak your nipples. “Harder, Harry, fuck.” 
He immediately pulls out of you and slams back inside, the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass echoing in the room. You scream in pleasure, no longer caring if his neighbors hear what you two were doing. 
“Like tha’?” He asks cheekily, working up a steady rhythm. You nod, gripping your boobs to keep them from bouncing. Harry shakes his head, forcefully removing your hands. “Nope, none of that. Wanna see ’em.” He takes both of your hands in one of his, pinning them up over your head. His other hand reaches in between your bodies to rub at your clit, and before you have time to warn him, you’re cumming again, squirting all over his cock. 
Harry throws his head back in pleasure, his thrusts getting sloppy and frantic, and you know he’s seconds away from his own orgasm. You spur him on, telling him how badly you wanted him to come inside of you (even though he was wearing a condom). He stills moments later, shaking above you as he holds himself up with an arm, not wanting to collapse on top of you.
“Fuckin’ hell, Y/N. Why did we wait a whole week to do this again?”
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ex-textura · 2 years
Note
So I’ve been posting a lot of historical CR cosplay designs on my Instagram (@seanmcguire92) and I’m currently working on 3, 2 of which are Orym: Elizabethan Orym and 18th century Orym. So your art has VERY good timing. 🤣
Also! Historical M/M is the best! I just recently read The Queer Principles of Kit Web myself, and I’m currently reading through Cat Sebastian’s trilogies that were my first introduction to her before TQPoKW. Any recommendations for other historical M/M that you’ve read? 😃
Hey! I had a look at your Instagram and WOW! I have zero talent with regards to costume making or anything even like it, so looking through your Artagan progress and your inspiration post is like magic to me. 
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Any friends who are interested in costume and cosplay, or just historical fashion in general, I highly recommend checking out this Instagram (and maybe kofi if you’re feeling generous) because the whole thing is just a piece of art and I’m very excited to see these Orym cosplays come to life! 
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WRT Recommendations, might I suggest K.J. Charles? I don’t know how modern you’re willing to reach, but her Will Darling Adventures series (set in 1920′s England and featuring a soldier-turned-bookseller, an aristocrat, conspiracies, blackmail, and Bright Young Things at the height of fashion ) is, probably, my favourite series I’ve read in ages. Her dialogue is snappy, her characters are compelling, and I even found myself falling for secondary characters almost as much as the main couple. I’ll be buying myself the audiobooks once I’ve set aside some money because I just can’t get enough 😅
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---
If the 1920′s aren’t your bag, she’s also written many many other novels in different eras, Namely, the series that got me into her books in the first place, A Charm of Magpies. Set in Victorian England, it’s gothic and magic and, again, full of the same quick, snappy dialogue and strong, interesting characters. I  borrowed the series from my library, but the e-book editions I’ve seen have all been under $5CAD which is honestly way undervalued.
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I’m currently working through her other works now, and I’ve read quite a few, but those two series are definitely my favourite and probably most closely resemble Cat Sebastian’s style.
If anyone else wants to share their favourite historical M/M books, I’m always looking for recommendations myself and sharing is caring!
Thank for this ask! I had so much fun looking through your instagram. Truly. Please forgive me if I come back and spam you with likes when I have more time 😂
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the-modernmary · 4 years
Text
you’ll always know me || aaron hotchner x reader
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Summary: "I would have stayed... If you asked me to.
After your high school graduation, you left without saying goodbye to Aaron Hotchner, your best friend, and nobody had heard from you since. Years later, you're back in DC, and catching up with Aaron brings more than you could have possibly hoped for.
Warnings: mentions of weed
A/N: I really wanted some soft Hotch content in my life after all the angst in my best habit, and this is about as soft as I can get. Inspired by Taylor Swift's "dorothea". Honestly, I was listening to evermore, blacked out for about three hours, and this is what came from that. There is no other explanation for this. It's written differently than my usual style, but I hope y'all like it still!
read on ao3 || masterlist
~~~~~~~
“What’s got you in such a rush?”
  Rossi eyes Aaron carefully as the latter circles around his office, double and triple-checking that he didn’t forget anything. The last thing he wants is to have to come back to the office and cut his day short.
  Aaron shoves a few case files in his briefcase. “An old friend from high school is in town and I’m meeting up with her.”
  Rossi perks up at the word ‘her’ and he leans against the door frame. Aaron notices this, too, because he shakes his head quickly. “It’s not like that. We both got sent to boarding school for being problem children and we became quick friends. I haven’t talked to her since graduation. She just packed up her stuff and left the very next day.”
“You sound bitter,” Rossi points out.
  “Not at all,” he lies, trying to forget the hurt of running to your dorm for your weekly breakfast together, only to be met with an empty room and a singular polaroid. “I knew she hated it there and her goal was to travel and see as many places as she could. Honestly, I’m surprised she’s back stateside at all. Last I heard, she was doing some art apprenticeship in Italy, but that was years ago.”
  “You sound like you have a long evening ahead of you, so I’ll get out of your hair. And have some fun tonight, Aaron. You deserve it,” Rossi adds on as an afterthought. 
  The corners of Aaron's mouth lift slightly. “I will. Try not to let the building burn down while I’m gone. Reid is back on his physics magic kick, and I think I heard something about a lighter.”
  Rossi gives Aaron a two-finger, half-hearted salute in acknowledgment, which is all it takes for Aaron to shut his office door and head towards the elevator. Knowing that you’re just outside, he has to make a conscious effort to slow his pace from an excited jog to just an anxious speed walk. The elevator ride is slow, seemingly stopping at every single floor on the way down, which gives his mind ample time to wander and think back to graduation day.
  “There you are!” Aaron shouts from across the football field as he runs up to you, shoving through bustling groups of families trying to take pictures. He has so many stoles and cords and leis around his neck that you can barely see the suit he’s wearing underneath his gown. It’s a stark contrast to you, with only a singular chord for academic achievement, although a 3.2 wasn’t much of an achievement in the eyes of most people at boarding school.
  “Here I am!” you laugh, throwing your arms around him in a hug and breathing in the smell of his cologne.
  “Where’re your parents? Didn’t they come?”
  “Of course they didn’t. They’re not ones for celebrating something as trivial as high school graduation, not when it’s just expected of me.” You roll your eyes. “What about you? I thought you and Haley were going to do the whole ‘meet the family’ thing today?”
  Aaron is oblivious to the bitterness in your voice, although that’s nothing new. “We are, but I just wanted to give these to you.” It’s then that you notice the bouquet of flowers in his hand, although it’s now being pressed into your arms. “As a congrats. And a thank you for being there for me this whole time. You’re my best friend.”
  You try to ignore the ache in your chest at his words. “Thank you, Aaron. I… I didn’t get you anything, I’m sorry.”
  “Don’t be,” he waves it off. “If you want to get me something, breakfast is your treat tomorrow.”
  “Okay, deal,” you agree, the smile coming back to your face. Selfishly, you don’t want him to go back to Haley or his family just yet. You want him to stay there with you so you don’t feel so lonely in the crowd of happy graduates. “God, I can’t believe you’re staying in D.C. for college. We always talked about getting out, seeing the world and never coming back.”
  Aaron shrugs, and you watch as he brushes away a piece of his hair that falls into his face. “I’m hoping that going to GW for undergrad will make it easier to get into law school there.”
  “And Haley Brooks is still here for another year,” you point out, half accusatory.
  “Yeah, that, too.” Aaron chuckles uncomfortably before quickly switching the conversation. “What about you? Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
  “There’s an art school in Glasgow I’m thinking of going to. But, you know… George Washington also has an art program. It’s pretty nice, too. I’m still deciding.” You trail off, looking straight into Aaron’s eyes, giving him every chance in the world to make the decision for you.
  Aaron hesitates, fighting an internal battle. “Go to Glasgow!” he says, fake enthusiasm in his voice, but your disappointment blocks out anything but his actual words. “Then I’ll have an excuse to visit Scotland.”
  “Yeah, that’s what I was leaning towards, too,” you lie. “Aaron, I—”
  You’re cut off by a voice calling his name. You both turn around to see Haley Brooks waving him over, her other hand holding 7-year-old Sean’s hand. She looks like spring personified, her blonde hair in bouncy curls and her pink sundress swishing around her long, slender legs. Her smile is so big that it could have parted storm clouds, and you want nothing more than to hate her with every single fiber of your being.
  But then you see Aaron, returning her megawatt smile with his own, one you rarely ever saw, and how can you hate somebody who makes him so happy?
  “I have to go, I’m sorry,” he says, although there’s not even a hint of regret in his voice. “But I’ll see you for one last Sunday breakfast tomorrow?”
  “I’ll see you then,” you lied.
  How Aaron could have missed the signs of your unhappiness, he’ll never know. At that time, all he knew was that you left without ever saying goodbye, leaving behind only a polaroid of the two of you from your weekend trip to Virginia Beach, both of you drunk and laughing with your arms wrapped around each other. He still has it, buried in his nightstand somewhere, but he hasn’t had the courage to look at it for a few years now.
  As Aaron steps out of the FBI building, he recognizes you instantly, even though it’s only the back of your head, and it causes his breath to catch in his throat. He calls your name and watches as you turn around, your hair whipping around you, and the fact that you still have that same mischievous glint in your eyes is enough to make him feel like he’s sixteen again and nervously skipping class with you holding his hand and pulling him towards the school gates.
  “Aaron!” You jog up to him and throw your arms around him in a hug, which he happily reciprocates. You press a quick kiss to his cheek before pulling away, and Aaron’s entire face burns.
  You keep your hands on his biceps, holding him at arm’s length, as you study him. He looks almost exactly the same as he did all those years ago, with soft hair and the slightest bit of stubble, but he looks less carefree. He seems more mature, like life had aged him 100 years. Still, as cute as high school Aaron was, it had nothing on how good he looks now. “Look at you, Mr. FBI, all suit and corporate-looking! I never thought I’d see the day.”
  “Yeah, I guess I’ve changed quite a bit,” he admits, and the sight of his dimples makes you want to melt right there into the sidewalk. “It’s really good to see you again. I’ve missed you.”
  “Oh, I’m sure you barely thought about me,” you joke, but hurt flashes through your eyes.
  Aaron wants to argue, to tell you that he thinks about you all the time, but decides against it. He doesn’t want to spend the precious few hours he has with you bringing up old issues. “Are you hungry? Because there’s this diner a few blocks down with giant milkshakes.”
  “Why are we still standing here, then? All you had to say was milkshakes, they’re my favorite.”
  “I know. I remember,” he says, and that all-too-familiar pang in your heart comes back like it had never left. “Come on, we can walk and cut through a park.”
  The two of you start your walk in comfortable silence, listening to the bustling city around you. Every once in a while, your hands would bump into his, and you were doing everything you could to ignore it.
  “So did you ever go to that art school?” he asks suddenly, looking over at you.
  You nod, a soft smile forming on your face. “I did. You were right, I loved Scotland.”
  “Where did you go after that? Nobody heard from you.”
  Your eyes sparkle as memories of your life the past few years flash through your mind. “Everywhere. Literally. I took a bunch of odd jobs and spent my time traveling,” you admitted. “I taught English in Vietnam for a year, worked on a cruise ship that went around South America, was an au pair for a French ambassador, went on research expeditions… Even dated a pilot for all of six months. Anything I could do that would let me see the world.” You laugh to yourself, shaking your head fondly. “I really put that private boarding school tuition to good use, huh? My parents were pissed.”
  “It sounds like you were living the life you dreamed of,” Aaron says softly, looking down at you.
  “It was,” you agree, your voice a little sad.
  “So then why are you back here in DC?”
  You shrug, your hands clasped behind your back, and you step down on a particularly crunchy leaf. “I’m just passing through. I’ve been going around the US and looking for a place to settle down. Finally. Figured I might as well put that art degree to good use. Maybe I’ll open a gallery or something.”
  Aaron nods slowly as the chill of autumn runs through his bones. It’s nice, though, in a weird way. He’s always preferred the fall over spring. “Where have you looked so far?”
  “Lots of places. San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Atlanta, San Antonio, Miami… I’m heading up to New York next. Nothing’s felt right so far. But enough about me, how are you? I heard you married Haley Brooks.”
  That same bitterness you felt in high school when you talked about Haley comes back with a vengeance. It’s unfair, and you know that. How was Aaron supposed to know that you were practically in love with him in high school if you never told him? Even now, you’re sure that he hasn’t put together the pieces.
  You watch as his gaze falls slightly. “I did. She died a few years ago.”
  “I’m sorry,” you whisper, and you reach out to give his hand a small squeeze.
  “We got divorced a little while before it happened,” he explains, unsure why it’s so important to him that you know that. “I blamed myself for it for a long time. But I’ve, uh… I’ve made peace with it now.”
  You give him a comforting smile, fully aware of the fact that you’re still holding his hand. “Aaron Hotchner, making peace with something in his life? I never thought I’d see the day.”
  Aaron chuckles and bumps his shoulder to yours. “I’ve been known to do it a few times. But only a few. Haley and I have a son, though. His name is Jack. He’s 8 now.”
  You shake your head in disbelief, and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “And you’re a father? Wow, you really have changed.”
  “Is that a bad thing?” he asks, and you shake your head wordlessly.
  “I like every version of Aaron Hotchner,” you promise. “Besides, change is a good thing. Especially since this city hasn’t changed a bit.”
  Aaron looks around, eyebrows furrowed, like he’s seeing DC for the very first time. “It’s actually changed quite a bit. But it’s subtle. Only people who have been here as long as I have would even notice it, probably.”
  The words cut through you both as a painful reminder of your abrupt departure from DC, and the silence settles over the two of you like a thick fog. This conversation was going to have to happen no matter what, you knew that going into this meeting with Aaron, but you didn’t expect it to happen so soon.
  “I would have stayed,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “If you asked me to.”
  Aaron shakes his head as his Adam’s apple bobs. “I thought about it. But I couldn’t do that to you. I knew you wanted to see the world, and you said it yourself. This city had nothing left to offer you.”
  You pause, rubbing your thumb over your fingertips with your freehand. “It had you,” you reply, and Aaron feels like he was just stabbed in the heart. “That would have been enough.” Seeing Aaron’s dejected face, you quickly keep talking. “But I get it, don’t worry. You were head over heels for Haley Brooks. Everybody knew you two were meant to be together.””
  “What does that have to do with you leaving?” he asks, more accusatory than he intended.
  “Everything.”
  Aaron breathes out your name, unsure of what to say until he settles on: “I’m sorry.”
  You wave him off, forcing a laugh. “Don’t be. I was 17 years old with a crush. We do stupid things, like want to stay at home for a boy. I’m glad I left. Besides, Haley Brooks was clearly the love of your life, and far be it from me to try and break up the golden couple.”
  The two of you stop in front of the diner and you drop Aaron’s hand, much to his disappointment, although you’re still close enough to him to see your reflection in his brown eyes. “I didn’t know you felt like that about me,” he says.
  “Which is surprising, because everybody else definitely knew. But you’ve always been a little clueless when it comes to stuff like that,” you tease, flashing him a toothy smile. “But it’s in the past. So come on, I want to hear about this FBI stuff and drink a milkshake so big it makes my stomach hurt.”
  Twenty minutes later, you and Aaron find yourselves smushed together in a corner booth covered in cheap vinyl, splitting a chocolate milkshake and laughing as you stroll down memory lane. 
  “You know, I ran into Stephen yesterday! A little coffee shop not too far from here,” you tell Aaron.
  Aaron almost drops the fry he was about to eat. “Do you mean Stoner Stephen? What is he doing back here?”
  You take a sip of the milkshake, and Aaron’s gaze is intense as you wrap your lips around the straw. When you pull back, he’s still staring at the soft pink your lipstick leaves behind. “Apparently, he’s lived here for years. Also, did you know he’s crazy smart? Like… graduated 4th in our class, went to Brown undergrad and Columbia graduate, smart.”
  Aaron’s eyes go wide in disbelief. “And this is the same guy who, completely sober, tried putting his mattress in the pool so that he didn’t have to sleep in his own dorm?”
  “The very same one. He’s like a lobbyist now or something for some activist group.”
  “Wow, I did not expect that. Do you remember when he got so high that he thought his joint was going to catch the dorms on fire?” Aaron asks, the words barely discernible through his laughter. “So he warned campus police that the whole school was going to burn down.”
  “Yes!” you giggle, your head thrown back in laughter. “They thought it was an arson threat and they had to evacuate the whole school. I was taking an English final during that.”
  Aaron’s shoulder pressing against yours makes a shiver run down your spine. You idly wonder how much closer he can get to you if he really tried.
  As if reading your mind, Aaron turns towards you a little more so that your knees are touching and you can feel his breath on the side of your neck. “We went to the beach that weekend,” he says quietly, unwilling to break eye contact with you. “Drank cheap beer. You got stung by a jellyfish. I had to carry you back to the car.”
  No, no. You were not about to fall for Aaron Hotchner’s charm again that easily. Not again. It took you too long to get over him the first time. Still, you were leaning closer to Aaron, and Aaron was leaning in towards you, and your noses brushed as you tilt your head to the side ever so slightly and—
  And his phone rings. Aaron’s eyes flickered to your lips one last time before pulling away, giving you an apologetic look.
  “Hotchner,” he answers, and you pull your coat tighter around yourself as realization sinks into you. You feel like you’re 17 again, desperately waiting for Aaron to ask you to prom, only to hide in your dorm for days on end when he asked Haley Brooks.
  When Aaron hangs up, he immediately reaches into his pocket to pull out his wallet, setting enough cash on the table to cover the tab and tip. “That was work. We have to fly out to Arizona. I’m sorry.”
  You nod understandingly. “Gotta catch the bad guys. When do you leave?”
  It’s silent for a few torturous moments before he finally answers. “An hour, at most. We brief at the office and then get on the plane.”
  “Wow,” you breathe. “You weren’t kidding when you said that you live out of your suitcase. Can I walk back with you, at least?”
  Aaron smiles, a small smile that makes you wonder how often he actually smiles now. It used to be a lot, but from what he’s told you, it seems like he’s had a rough go of it the last couple of years, and has a lot less to smile about. It makes you sad because when you were traveling the world, his smile was the one thing you missed the most.
  “I’d really like that.”
  The two of you make small talk on the way back, swapping stories about Jack and your various adventures around the globe. The autumn air is crisp with leaves falling all around you. At one point, there was a big gust of wind, and leaves and pine needles got blown onto the two of you, and you took your sweet time running your fingers through his hair, bushing it all off him. 
  When you get to the entrance of the FBI building, neither one of you says anything. You just stand there, both unwilling to say goodbye. You turn to face each other, just as close as you were in the diner booth.
  “Oh, you have a…” Aaron delicately reaches his hand to your hair. His fingers in your hair make your stomach do flips, and you’re almost positive he can hear your racing heartbeat. His eyes stay trained on yours the entire time, never blinking. “Pine needle,” he whispers, holding the offending object between his fingers.
  “Thanks,” you breathe, and you’re not sure if it’s the autumn chill or his hand reaching to cup your cheek that sends goosebumps throughout your body.
  As if he were magnetic, you rise onto your toes, bringing yourself closer to him, and you press your lips against his. Aaron deepens the kiss and runs his thumb across your cheekbone. His other hand wraps itself around your waist. The kiss is slow and sensual and better than anything you could have dreamed of — and you dream of Aaron kissing you more often than you’d like to admit.
  All too soon, the two of you pull away from each other, both wearing matching smiles.
  “I should probably… get in there… before my team sends out a search party,” Aaron says reluctantly, pointing towards the entrance. 
  You give his hand a soft squeeze. “Go save lives. I’ll probably be around for a few more days before heading up to New York. If you’re back by then.”
  Aaron purses his lips, deep in thought. “You’re definitely settling down somewhere? Done with seeing the world?”
  “That’s the plan.”
  “Have you… Do you think…” Aaron takes a grounding breath, trying to gather the words he was too afraid to ask back at graduation. “Have you ever considered settling down here? There’s a pretty big art community here.”
  You shrug, ignoring excitement building in your chest. “I think my work is a little too experimental for the people of the capitol.”
  “You’d be surprised,” he chuckles.
  You bring your lower lip between your teeth, chewing nervously at it. “I don’t know… I left for a reason. I just don’t know what DC has to offer me anymore.”
  Aaron spreads his arms out at his side, palms facing you in an uncharacteristic display of vulnerability. “There’s me,” he offers, and, when your eyes go wide, he adds, “And Stoner Stephen, if I’m not enough.”
  A laugh bursts out of you uncontrollably, which seems to put both you and Aaron at ease. “That makes it a very tempting offer,” you tease.
  “And I have a coworker who flips houses. He’ll be able to tell you where to get the best deal on an apartment,” Aaron presses as if you need any more convincing. As if your mind isn’t already made up.
  “First, I need to know that there’s more than one good place to get milkshakes,” you point out, shoving your hands in your coat pockets. “You’ll have to show me around when you get back.”
  Aaron’s lips quirk up in a hopeful smile. “It’s a date.”
  He makes his way towards the entrance of the Hoover Building, but you call out his name, stopping him once more. “We’ll also need a new Sunday breakfast place. Since our old one is closed down.”
  Now, his smile is one of pure joy, and his eyes are sparkling in a way you haven’t seen in years. “I know just the place. As long as you don’t up and leave without telling me again.”
  “Never again,” you promise, and for once, the idea of staying doesn’t terrify you.
  “Then we’ll get breakfast together as soon as I get back.”
  You smile at him, already missing the feeling of his lips on yours. “I’ll see you then.”
391 notes · View notes
serendipityjxmn · 3 years
Text
Mr. President
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Chapter 22
TW: None
Words Count: 2.4k
Link to Masterlist
Link to Chapter 23
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The doctor lets you come home that Saturday. You notice your husband is home all the time and some days Taehyung or Hoseok or even Jungkook would drop by to send him some files. You tell him you’d be fine on your own but he just brushes you off. He doesn’t shut himself off in his study too, instead he does his work on the study table in the master bedroom near you.
It still feels weird that your husband has completely changed in the time span that you’re in the hospital. He really sticks to his word and tries a lot for you. He’s not being mean to you, he doesn’t snap at you all the time except perhaps when you’re trying to do houseworks because you’re starting to get bored now.
He tries to make it up by bringing in all sorts of art set, empty canvases or easels for you to paint, that the bedroom is starting to look like an art studio. But it’s all done under his immense scrutiny, in case you ‘use too much of your shoulder’ as he says.
You’re still a little afraid of him, not yet coming completely into terms with the mafia side of his, body instinctively jerking away when he’s doing something remotely triggering your sense of alarm. You feel guilty because he never says anything about it, like saying you’re overreacting. He simply understands the trauma he causes so he puts a lot of effort to make sure he doesn’t do more than what you can handle, doesn’t do things that make you jump or touch you in any ways more than necessary.
Sometimes he’d go out briefly to attend necessary business matters and comes home with bouquets of flowers, jewelleries or any sorts of gifts.
And then even though he’s bad at it, he tries to cook for you and little by little you try to embrace him wholly, just by seeing how much he tries to make up for his ‘dark side’. And you adore him for putting so much effort.
He also starts to bring you along when he has his regular sparring sessions while practicing self-defence and martial arts just so you could learn how to defend yourself- what with being the wife of a mafia leader and all. Although of course, you can’t do anything yet so you just sit through the whole two hour watching a bunch of half naked men throwing punches at each other.
As you sit through the sparring session between your husband and Taeseok one day, you can’t help but wonder if your husband has a hidden grudge against him from the way he throws his punches. Once they’re done, you approach Taeseok first without thinking, asking if he’s okay. He seems flustered at first and quickly mutters, “I’m fine, Mrs. Park,” before dismissing himself.
You follow your husband as he heads to the locker room to change.
“Do you really have to hit him that hard? It’s just a sparring session,” you say.
He suddenly stops in his tracks, making you almost bump into his back and then swiftly turns around, narrowing his eyes at you. “Mrs. Park. Are you seriously worrying about another man right now?”
Before you could process it, he pushes you against the locker but in a very careful way, holding your waist instead of your shoulders and a gasp escapes your lips. “Hmm.. how do I punish you for that?”
For a moment, you think he’s going to kiss your lips but then he dips down to your neck and lightly bit it, and your heartbeat rate went from 60 to 150 per minute real quick. You glare at him when he pulls back only to see him smirking at you before he turns on his heel towards the shower.
For the first time ever, you curse your husband.
“I’m gonna have to return to the office soon.” Jimin says while you both are having dinner at home.
You nod. You know it’s inevitable and he would have to return to the company soon. It’s just a matter of time.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay at home?” He asks and you roll your eyes.
“I have three helpers and six bodyguards now, what exactly can happen to me?” You shake your head with a smile. Since your return home, he’d increased the amount of staffs and bodyguards assigned to you.
He reaches for your hand and smiles apologetically. “It’s for your own safety.”
You nod at him. “I know.”
It’s silent after that until he puts down his cutleries. “I’ve been thinking.. perhaps it’s time for me to step down from being the mafia leader.. BTS.”
You swallow but doesn’t say anything.
“I just thought that.. if I want to have a proper marriage with you and start a real family.. well, it won’t help if the father’s constantly targeted by enemies.”
You take a deep breath. “I.. it’s up to you. I... I don’t really... know..”
He gives you a quick smile. “Of course I can’t just put my feet down and wash my hand completely but.. I’ll try to pull back and not step in unless it’s really needed.”
“What does.. you know, BTS do anyways?”
He smiles wickedly. “You wanna know?”
You suddenly think it’s a very bad idea. “I.. I don’t know.. Do you.. do you just- you know.. take people out for fun? Or..”
He chuckles. “No.. no we don’t do that. If it assures you, we don’t kill innocent people. We.. offer like a service, like a hired mercenary to take out people or do some work for the government when they don’t want their hands dirty but they’re all evil people. Those that we.. take out. And doing those kind of things inevitably give you enemies.. but we try not to engage in gang fights unless they start it first.”
You feel a shiver run down your spine. “O... kay..”
His lips quirk up at you. “And that’s it. The rest of the details.. let’s just say they’re unnecessary for you to know.” He stand up then and leans in to peck your forehead quickly. “I’ll be in the study.” He says. You stay in your seat for a moment longer, processing the details of your conversation with your husband. You appreciate that he’s being honest with you a lot more now and doesn’t keep things from you but you can’t help the goosebumps that start to form on your arms whenever he tells you things about the dark side.
It’s been about a week since Jimin has started working at the office again. You fork at your food, no longer having the appetite to finish it. Because you’re too nervous to say something to your husband. You keep glancing at him as he eats that one night, trying to gauge his mood and gathering your courage all at the same time.
Finally, you take a deep breath. “Can I go out with Jungkook tomorrow?”
He doesn’t answer immediately.
You want to go out with Jungkook. You and him had talked a lot about arts before. And this afternoon, he texted you about an art school he found that you’ve been searching for.
“What for?” He asks.
“What do you mean what for?”
He narrows his eyes. “Why do you want to go out with him?”
“I.. have something to.. buy?” You cock your head to one side.
“Isn’t Taeseok enough? You can take him or even Daniel with you. Are you even well enough to go out?”
“It’s been a month since I’ve been discharged..” you pout. “Please..?”
“I’ll come with you then.”
“No! I know you have an important meeting tomorrow. Besides, I’ll be fine with Jungkook.”
There’s a reason why you want Jungkook to come with you. And also because you want to buy your husband a gift. But you can’t tell him that.
He glares. “It’s dangerous to go out with a gang member. Jungkook’s a kid. I don’t trust him with you.”
You struggle not to roll your eyes. “Jimin, I’m literally the same age with him.”
“That makes two kids then.”
You sigh in exasperation. “Jimin please..”
He clenches his jaw. “Fine. If anything happens, I’m not gonna be there.” And with that, he storms out of the kitchen.
You feel like crying. You’ve been getting along so good with him lately and now you’ve ruined it. You have no idea why he’s being so irrelevant. If anything, Jungkook’s probably the best at hand combat, or second best to Jimim at least, you can’t compare due to their different combat style. But nevertheless, he’s highly skilled despite his young age.
You sigh.
“Hey Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice pulls you from your thoughts. “He’ll come around.”
You smile sadly.
“He’ll realize he’s being stupid so no worries okay?”
You smile at his words then nod. Alright, it’ll be very rude to Jungkook if you keep being out of it when you’re here with him.
“We’re here.” He says as the car pulls into the parking lot. You look out the window. It’s an art school for the special kids. You can’t believe he really found the place for it. You have to thank him or the BTS connections.
When you and Jungkook enters, you are both greeted by one of the school teacher. She brings you both for a tour around the place and you’ve never felt so fascinated with everything.
The reason why you’re searching for this kind of school is because you want to donate to the school. You received a huge sum of insurance money after being hospitalized which you’ve no idea when and how your husband registered for it.
You briefly mentioned about searching for the school to Jungkook because for some reason you feel like he can find anything. And he did.
You thought perhaps Jungkook may feel bored coming out with you. But he seems even more enthusiastic than you. You know he’s very much talented in arts because Jimin has one of his painting back at home and it’s super gorgeous. But you don’t know that he knows this much about arts. He also explains how the school operates from business perspective that leaves you in awe. He really is a businessman that does his research. You smile when you see him play with kids, he’s super kind with them. He bought art sets for a lot of the students which unfortunately was not enough for everyone so he promised he’ll send more for the rest of the kids. Jungkook’s a really nice kid, you think. You smile sheepishly thinking you didn’t bring anything for them.
When the tour with the art school is done, you drag Jungkook to do some shopping with you. For some reason, you feel like buying your husband a gift. Simply because he had been such a huge support ever since you were hospitalized. It’s the only way you could think of to repay him for all the amount of things he had made easier for you and the understanding he shows without having you to say a word.
It’s almost dark when you finally reach home that night. As soon as you step out of the car, you feel slightly disoriented and would’ve doubled over the ground if it wasn’t because of Taeseok, your bodyguard who was trailing from behind immediately holding you.
“Are you alright, Mrs. Park?”
You nod. “Just a little lightheaded.” You quickly dismiss it and enter the house.
Once you’ve finished showering, you set out to search for Jimin. He wasn’t in the bedroom. You head to his study. Still empty. You frown, wondering where he is. You set back downstairs and once again you almost lost balance completely, the stairs’ image doubling for a split second.
What’s with the sudden headache? You almost want to ask your head.
Head still spinning, you head towards the lounge room and from outside the room, you hear the muffled sound from the TV. When you enter, you see your husband in his pyjama pants and casual T-shirt. He’s watching TV, which is very rare, you think.
He briefly glances at you as you make your way towards him but makes no effort to say anything.
“Jimin..? Are you still mad at me?”
He doesn’t look up. You stand awkwardly beside him.
“I’m back in one piece.” You try to joke.
He glares at this. Oops, not funny it seems.
You hesitantly sit next to him. “Can I borrow your hand?” When he won’t look at you, you take his hand in yours. And suddenly his head snaps towards you when you’re about to reach for the gift behind you. You gasp when he clasped his fingers tighter. Then his other hand touches your forehead.
“Why are you so hot?” He asks.
“Am I?” You giggle. The question sounds a little funny.
He rolls his eyes then proceeds to touch your neck. “You’re having a fever.”
“Am I?”
He narrows his eyes at you, clearly not finding the situation funny. “I let you out with the kid for a day and you come home sick.”
“It’s not his fault..”
He narrows his eyes at you and you shut your mouth immediately. “Stay here. I’ll fetch the thermometer.” You reach for his hand immediately.
“Please sit down. I have something to give you.”
He frowns but does as he’s told.
Smiling, you reach for the gift. “I bought something for you today..” He stares as you open it and gently place it on his wrist. “It’s not that expensive like your other watches.. but um.. It’s a watch and a bracelet. With our name...”
He stares at the gift. Then he looks at you softly. “Thank you. I love it.” He leans forward very, very slowly and even though you can anticipate it, your heart is not ready. He plants a kiss on your forehead and you feel your own heart rate picking up. You think you’ll faint at any second. Your rapid heartbeat and a buzzing head, not a good combination.
“Are you still mad at me?” Your eyes almost flutter close.
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not mad, idiot. I’m just worried.” He puts a strand of hair behind your ear. “It’s very easy for you to be targeted if you’re out with the members.. I don’t want to put you through any of that ever again because of me..”
You shut your eyes. Because your husband’s soft voice is really like a lullaby. Also because you can’t hold it anymore. You fell into into his arms and he catches you easily.
He gently carries you in his arms to the bedroom. His heart full of adoration for you.
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I’m bad at writing fluffs but I hope this is super sweet and smooth like butter to make you guys smile 🤣 also, thanks for the warm words in previous chapters 🥺 you guys are amazing!!!!!
Buy me a cup of coffee here! 💜
Link to Chapter 23
Posted on 210522 9:00PM
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shreddedparchment · 4 years
Text
A Wife for Thor Pt.02
10/19/2020
No Lies in a Marriage
Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 5,150
Warnings: angst, anxiety, panic attack, language
A/N: As I said in the post earlier today, you’ll probably see updates for this story often right now because it’s at the beginning and I know where I’m going pretty clearly and how to get there and it’s kinda just writing itself for right now. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I love writing this reader with Thor...but I think it’s just because I love writing Thor. haha If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo
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You sit up most of the night after talking to David, staring out your bedroom window at the small plot of land you call your own.
Your belonging. The only true one you’ve ever had.
It’s a small inheritance, sure but it’s yours. Yours alone. A sanctuary from the feeling of emptiness that you’d once felt wishing for something that felt like home. It’s more than even some will ever have.
You’re lucky.
And now you have to leave it behind?
There’s no denying your own part in this mess. You’d been given a choice and you’d made it, believe this outcome would never come. Yet here you are, betrothed and fated to be Queen of Asgard.
David comes to help you pack because he knows that you’ll be wallowing.
In shock you pack just as asked, essentials only which means for you, only your clothing, your laptop, and a very small collection of books are chosen.
You have no pictures to take with you. No family heirlooms or sentimental possessions. You fit it all into one large suitcase.
Funny. As you pack, you can’t help but imagine the lives your nomadic ancestors had lived. Much like you in these moments as you pack what little you have of your life away; they must have left everything behind over and over in their search for their own belonging.
It only takes you two hours to pack once David arrives and together you lug the suitcase down your little hallway to the front door.
There, a beautiful Asgardian stands waiting, her eyes on your own foggy expression with slight concern as David joins her and they lapse into quiet conversation as you continue to space out, thinking about the life you’re leaving behind.
Really, if you’re honest, it isn’t much of a life.
Yes, you have your routine. This is your house. Your things. But aside from that, there’s nothing here. Nothing but independence and solitude.
That’s enough, some would say. Others would wonder what you do with all your time.
Why hadn’t you found someone to share this life with? Someone who could appreciate the coziness of this place with you.
“Are you ready?” The Asgardian asks, Brunnhilde, her voice smooth but stern, yet not unkind.
You turn to look at her, hair gathered up on her head in a large bun. She’s dressed for the Norwegian weather she’s come from despite it being significantly hotter here.
She’s not bothered by it. Or if she is, she hides it well.
“Would it matter if I said no?”
“No.” She smiles at you, cheek bones so rounded and pretty you almost want to stroke them because you’ve rarely seen anyone so beautiful.
All of the Asgardians are beyond compare when it comes to looks. Even those that are plain radiate a golden aura. Godlike. Thor’s is the strongest and he’s most certainly the most beautiful to look at.
You’d been too afraid to admit it to yourself before because you’d been so decided against marrying him, but Thor is by far the loveliest man you’ve ever seen. Ideal. He’s exquisite.
And you get to marry him. Which doesn’t exactly feel like a bad thing.
Being chosen to marry Thor would be amazing, given the fantasies you’ve allowed yourself to indulge in since the day you met with him, if not for the fact that you know he’s in love with someone else. Someone who won’t marry him. Someone stupid, obviously.
And those fantasies you’d indulged in would never happen with someone else in his heart. So without that, all you have left is duty. Duty to Earth and its people, ensuring their safety and though you honestly don’t think Earth needs it, the assurance from the Asgardians that they will respect humans as the dominant lifeform on the planet.
Yes, the whole Queen of Asgard thing is a little daunting and will probably take over your life, so you can’t blame this mystery woman for not wanting to give up her own pursuits to take care of an entire people. To give up one identity for another? Yours is close enough to blank—your life nearly empty—that for you, this might not be such a great loss and yet, this leaves you wondering what this will do for you career.
Small as it is, you’ve had two books published. Limited releases with not much traction. Still, the accomplishment is your own. One you’re proud of.
Will you have to stop writing?
“There will be a dinner, to introduce you to Thor’s inner circle. Myself, Loki, a few others that serve directly under him.” Brunnhilde is saying, pulling you back to reality.
You look around, having zoned out so thoroughly that you hadn’t even realized you’d boarded a plane and taken off.
“The only one you’ll have to watch out for is Sif. She’s usually pretty nice, but she’s a little miffed about the whole marriage situation. From what I’ve heard, she’s had a thing for Thor since they were children. She’s a fierce warrior. Might want to avoid her altogether if possible. Asgardian women can be a little territorial.”
Lovely, another rival.
“So can human women.” You grumble, already hating the looks of what you suppose will be an onslaught of distractions for your future husband in the forms of beautiful women.
Brunnhilde quirks a brow, raising it high as she considers your words but doesn’t comment further.
“He’s never seen her as more than a comrade in arms. Or so he says.” She sounds unconvinced, but you recognize her attempt to calm you.
You stare, saying nothing more as your world is overturned.
“After dinner, you’ll spend some time with Thor. He wants to talk to you a bit. The wedding will be on Thursday. Thor’s idea. Full of himself, the idiot.” She’s smiling as she insults him, flipping the page of a magazine she’d grabbed from the pocket of the seat in front of her and you realize they must be close friends.
“Did he really pick me?” You wonder, knowing that her personality will only let her answer one way.
Brutally honest.
“Against all our recommendations.” She tells you. “Most of us were pulling for the Hungarian one. She had the schooling and the training. A little too eager for Thor, or so he said. And Loki. Loki was also in favor of you.”
“Loki?!” You gasp, remembering with great detail your chance meeting with the Asgardian prince.
“Oh yeah.”
Why would Loki want Thor to choose you? You weren’t exactly nice to him. Then again, you weren’t really mean either. Just…blunt.
More importantly, after the awkward conversation with Thor and his admission to marrying despite his feelings for someone else, his choice is the most confusing.
“Why did he pick me?” You plead. “Thor.”
“You’ll have to ask him tonight after dinner. I couldn’t tell you other than that he said he wanted someone real. Someone who knew what it’s like to be a normal person. Whatever that means.” Brunnhilde shrugs. “Normal is all relative. Odin, I need a drink.”
The plane ride is over too quickly and the ride to New Asgard even shorter. The village is large but not much larger than the town you’d grown up in. Plenty of houses and public spaces but nothing like a cityscape.
You’re surprised by the more modest choices they’ve made for their homes. Simple houses with wood siding and strong rooftops.
That is, most of the village is modest. Almost at the center of the largest grouping of buildings is a large multi-storied palace.
Just as it did the first time you saw it when you’d been brought for the meeting, you gasp when you see it, admiring the beauty of the structure bathed in afternoon sunlight.
It reminds you of an old Nordic home you’d seen online only on steroids. Four, maybe five stories? All roofs are tall and sharp, parts covered with moss.
Brunnhilde shows you into the main foyer, large and tall room that allows space large enough for people to stand and chat. Here she leaves you and David with a young Asgardian woman. She looks as if she can’t be more than seventeen but from what you know about Asgardian aging, she’s probably hundreds of years old.
She escorts you both to your new room, and you and David gasp at the sight.
Even though it’s smaller than the sitting room you’d been in when you met with Thor before, there’s a large bed immediately to the right, covered in luxurious plum and silver silk sheets. A large dark brown bear skin rug covers the center of the floor. To the left is an extravagant dark oak armoire, beside it a matching vanity with a low cushioned and backless seat.
On the far wall, between two sets of heavy wooden double doors that lead out to a balcony sits a desk and another seat with a black cushion, the same style as the vanity’s chair.
There’s a low hanging chandelier made of intricately twisted wood, reinforced with dark steel. The design of it makes you think there should be candles, but instead you find it furnished with small flame-shaped lightbulbs.
Along each of the walls are beautiful artworks, one of a singular mountain you’ve never seen on Earth. Another a golden palace with a sky of literal space above and behind it. There’s a smaller painting almost right above the bed and the likeness of it is so precise, you gasp again.
David follows your gaze with his mouth hanging open a little but then he chuckles. It’s a throaty sound as he turns away from you and moves further into the room with your bag while you deposit your purse on the bed, eyes glued to the painting.
“These Asgardians seem to be experts at everything.” David says, conversationally. “Their architecture, their music, their wits in battle. It seems even their art is exceptional.”
You’re still too busy staring to reply.
When David speaks again, he’s right beside you, voice dropped in volume.
“It must really look like him, to have you rendered speechless.” He observes.
“Yes.” You agree. “Just like him. Only now he has the eyepatch. He looks the same with two eyes. Less rugged but the same.”
“And he will remain the same, long after you’ve died, I think.” David admits.
“Yeah…” You swallow, looking down at the bottom of the frame.
The thought had only begun to occur to you when you’d been making your way through the city after Brunnhilde had confessed to being over a thousand years older than Thor and Loki.
“For Thor, this marriage will pass in the blink of an eye.” You sigh, feeling a little saddened by truth of that.
You turn around and sit down on the bed, resting your hands on your knees limply as you stare at the floor.
David squats before you, forearms on his knees.
“You’re serving a great purpose.” He tells you. “Ensuring the safety of the human race. You’re the white flag the Asgardians are waving. History will remember you, Y/N. It will not be in vain.”
Your eyes begin to water, and you nod, knowing he’s right.
“I know I just…” Your head gives an involuntary turn towards Thor’s portrait, but you manage to keep yourself from looking. “He’s in love with someone already. And, yeah, I’d never thought about being with someone before. But now that I’m faced with it, now that I know I’ll be his wife—I don’t know that I don’t want him to like me.”
“He may come around.” David consoles. “You’re a pretty girl and nice, even though you bite.”
His teasing draw a small curve of your lips. The levity however is quickly lost at the prospect of your life stretched out before you, never knowing love as your husband covets another woman.
This isn’t what you’d expected. To be fair you hadn’t expected anything, but now the idea of being married to Thor knowing that he’d much prefer if you were someone else hurts you in a way you didn’t know had been possible.
This ache in your chest feels strange and vivid and unbearable.
Your tears flow. David sighs and reaches up to wipe your cheeks, pulling you in for a hug.
Taking his offered comfort, you hide your face against his shoulder, allowing yourself these few moments to really feel the anxiety and sadness this whole thing has brought.
“I’m sorry.” David tells you, his voice steady but sad. “I wish I could give you a better life. I know that this is not what you parents would have wanted.”
You pull back, shaking your head as you gather yourself. “No, David. You’ve been the most supportive person in my life. This is how it’s supposed to be. Otherwise, why would I have the ancestors I have, right?”
David sighs, reaching up to wipe at your cheek.
“Besides, it’s not like I’ll be truly suffering. Not like other people do. I’ll have a good roof over my head, food, money won’t be a worry. How many other people my age can say that?”
David’s gaze becomes skeptical and he purses his thin lips a little. “Is that really how you feel?”
“Fuck no. This whole thing is complete shit.” You argue, then laugh as David chuckles too.
“There’s that fighting spirit. Keep that fire, Princess, and you’ll find a way through this.” He says, and the way the word Princess rolls of his lips makes you feel the way you’d always thought you’d feel had your dad lived to be a part of your life.
“You say that like it’s easy.” You sigh.
Before he can answer, there’s a knock on the door and it opens.
Both you and David shoot up to your feet as Loki walks in.
He’s smiling politely until he sees your face.
“I’m sorry. Am I intruding?” Loki wonders, as you quickly wipe away the tears left on your cheeks.
“No.” You shake your head quickly, voice thicker than when you arrived because of your break down. “No. Of course not. Come in.”
He doesn’t look convinced and his brow is furrowed as he looks you both over then stands with his hands behind his back. He looks neat and exotic wearing a pair of dark pants, a black top with embellishments in stunning emerald, a thin golden chain connecting each side of his high collar to the other.
“I’ve come to make sure that you find the clothing we’ve left for you.” Loki gestures at the armoire.
“I’m-I can’t wear what I brought?” You ask, pressing your hand to your chest, unintentionally sniffing.
“Tonight, you will meet with my brother’s court. It is a formal event that you must attend wearing slightly more traditional Asgardian garb.” Loki replaces his hands behind his back. “Brunnhilde has chosen something she thought would be your color. You have an hour then we’ll send your maid in to fetch you.”
You nod.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Loki asks again.
“You’re surprisingly worried.” You tell him, David moving to open the armoire and get a look at what you’re going to have to wear.
Loki’s face quickly shifts into a smile, his eyes averted as he nods.
“I hear you were the only person other than Thor who chose me.” You sit back down slowly, your hands softly skating over the cool silky sheets. “Why?”
“You were a breath of fresh air.” He admits. “Compared to the other candidates, you seemed the only one with her feet on the ground.”
Looking away from him you pinch the plum sheets.
“Is that why Thor chose me too?” You ask, knowing it isn’t the reason he chose you.
“Whatever the reason,” Loki begins, and his voice is stern enough to draw your gaze. “I’m certain my brother has nothing but honorable intentions. He’s always been the good one.”
“I think that’s true.” You nod, “He has always been the good one, if the stories are to be believed.”
“I make no excuses for who I was.” Loki assures you.
“But I think you and I both know that Thor’s intentions when it comes to me are anything but honorable.” You smile sadly. “I really hate lying. Let’s not lie to each other. We’re family, right? Or will be.”
Loki’s look remains somber, his eyes far away for a moment.
“You’re the right woman for the job. That is the truth.” Loki admits.
“I guess we’ll see.”
Loki nods. “One hour, your highness.”
His words give you a shock, and your left gaping at him as he leaves and shuts the door behind him.
“Well, that sounded strange.” David admits, “But not as strange as this dress. Well, perhaps strange is not the right word.”
You’re still reeling from the your highness as you get and walk to David that it takes your eyes a moment to process the sight before you.
“I am not wearing that.”
~~~~~~~~~~
“I can’t breathe in this thing!” You whine, hooking your fingers into the ultra-high neckline of your dress.
It’s more like a cage, this piece that goes around your throat and shoulders. It connects to a slightly see-through bodice with soft split threads lining the length of the dress, underneath the top, silver layer is a soft pink one that stands pretty against your skin. It gives the dress depth and offers a pleasant backdrop for the waterfall skirt as it fans out around your feet.
The lattice neckpiece connects to the dress’s neckline with four stiff wire connectors wrapped in the same silver fabric as the rest of the dress.
Your hair, your maid expertly gathered atop your head, shaping it to look as much like you as it can but also keeping it contained with several silver Celtic knot-looking clips. She’d added very little color to your face, telling you that Thor had requested you look as much like yourself as possible so that his court could see the real you.
Even so, you’re overwhelmed by what you see in the mirror as you pass a particularly large one as you and David make your way to the dining hall.
“Don’t fret.” David tells you, reaching over to stop your wringing hands. “Just be yourself. That’s why he chose you.”
“So, what you’re saying is to not be myself.” You nod. “Got it.”
David pulls you to a stop, turning you to face him. Your maid, Estrid, keeps walking a bit then stops leaving you both some space.
“I want you to remember something, Y/N.” David says, low and quiet so that only you can hear him. Well, he doesn’t know that Asgardians have better than human hearing, but whatever. “These people, they need you. They need you. More than you will ever need them.
“Without you, they might have to leave Earth because Thor will never turn against the human race. I don’t know why. We’re not that great.” David shrugs, and your mouth pops open as you breathe a pained gasp.
In this moment, with David’s helpful words, you’re provided with astounding clarity.
“She’s human.” You realize, eyes watering.
It happens so quickly, your breath catches, brain in a frenzy, hands shaking, sweating, your tears flow freely.
You’ve never cried so much in your life and you understand now that this will be your new state of being because what else can you do when you’ve knowingly given your life to a man who loves another human woman which only means that she will also only live for a short time and that means that Thor doesn’t have a lot of time with her so, of course he’ll want to be with her until the day she dies, because she’s the one he really wants to be with, and you’re just the tool to use so that he can stay here with her.
What kind of life have you fated yourself to?
“Your Highness?” Estrid asks, concern painting her voice as you shake your head, too panicked to speak.
David moves you towards the wall, pressing you against it to lean as Estrid moves closer to peek at you.
“Might I be of assistance?” She offers and David turns a smile on her.
“A glass of water, perhaps?”
Estrid hurries away giving you and David the hallway.
“Y/N?” He says, voice hard. “Breathe.”
You look at him, focus on the streak of white in his hair as it falls forward to hang across his brow.
It helps and you shut your mouth and breathe in deep through your nose.
He reaches into the pocket of his suit jacket and pulls from it a white handkerchief. With gentle fingers, he coaxes your face up so that he can carefully wipe the tear stains from your cheeks. He takes a bit of the blush they’d put on you, but you don’t care, and he doesn’t either.
“What is it that troubles you? Tell me.” He urges you.
“Um…” You begin, chin quivering and making your voice shake a little. “…I-I-I don’t know how I’m going to be married to him when I kn-know that he really wants to be with s-someone else. I don’t know how…how…how…”
David sighs, shaking his head as he caresses yours. “Then you look elsewhere too. If he sees fit to be with someone else while you’re married, then you deserve to experience love too. Take a lover. Be discreet. No one will know and you will both get what you want.”
“Isn’t that wrong?” You half cry. “I mean, aren’t wives and husbands s-supposed to be faithful?”
David smiles, pulling your head down to kiss your forehead. “Then give him a chance to change his mind. If he doesn’t love you by the end of the year, then he’s a bigger fool than I already think he is. A downright dumbass.”
“I don’t like the idea of someone being with me when they don’t want to be.” You admit.
And David doesn’t need you to explain that this stems from living in the school, waiting for adoption only to never be chosen.
You’ve finally been picked, and this is what it’s for?
“Do you want me to come to dinner? I can insist on it.” He promises. “I’ll even make a scene.”
You shut your eyes and sob once, David pulls you against his chest and once more you hide your face against his shoulder.
Both of you hear her steps before you see her and yet, when you turn to accept your water, you’re frozen as you find yourself face to face with Thor.
He’s dressed beautifully, in black leather trousers, stitched with thick visible charcoal colored strips of more leather. His torso is covered in what you’d consider light armor. More leather pieces in deep gold tones except for the arms which are covered in metallic scales that shine under the hallway lights. His shoulders are draped in a floor length cape, black, thinner than the one you’ve seen him wear before.
A more casual cape, you suppose.
Both you and David are absolutely still, confused by Thor’s sudden appearance.
“I uh…” Thor looks uncomfortable, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he gestures behind him with his right hand, in his left a glass of water. “Estrid looked upset. She said you weren’t feeling well?”
There’s genuine concern in his voice and it surprises you enough to wipe away most of your worries for now.
“I’m fine.” You assure him.
David clears his throat. “I should go. I have my own dinner to eat.”
“No, please. Join us.” Thor rushes to invite him, gesturing back towards the dining hall again.
“No, no. Really.” David uses his hand to refuse, then reaches down to give your hand a squeeze. “Can I trust you to escort Y/N to dinner?”
Your heart swells for David, once again, the father you never had.
“Of course.” Thor nods, smiling at David before moving to you, seeing this as permission to move closer maybe? “I take full responsibility.”
There’s a twinge of bitterness in your chest, a rolling in your stomach as you see David narrow his eyes at Thor.
“I’m going to hold you to that, God of Thunder.” He threatens, and Thor seems to realize it’s a threat because he looks startled. However, he smiles and plays it off quickly, nodding. “Have a good dinner, princess.”
David gives your hand one more squeeze before leaving you and Thor to whatever awkward conversation you’re about to have.
Thor waits until you’re both alone in the hallway before he holds out the glass of water he’d brought for you.
“Have you been crying?” He wonders, voice soft and gentle. Deep too, it settles in your chest and makes you feel stupid for liking it.
“Just a little.” You admit.
“Why?”
“I’m nervous.” And that isn’t a lie. “And apprehensive.”
Also, not a lie.
“And I don’t trust you.” You confess, feeling no qualms about the shock that flits across his rugged face.
“What did I do?” He cries.
“You told me you’re in love with someone else who won’t marry you.” You sigh, taking a long drink of your water. “I’m not exactly excited to be marrying someone who already wants to be with someone else.”
Understanding shifts his expression and he nods, reaching up to scratch at the side of his chin.
“I’ll be honest,” He begins, offering you his arm as you lower your glass. “It was never something I expected either. After watching my parents love each other for many years, their marriage was something I hoped I could experience.”
“Then why didn’t you fight harder for this woman you love? Convince your court! She’s human, right? I’m sure the Earth Ambassadors would be happy to have you marry any human.” You reason, still hoping to get out of this even if the only thing you hate about this now is the fact that he’s in love with someone else.
That fantasy marriage you’d painted for yourself has taken over your inexperienced brain and planted a seed within your heart and you feel like a fool for it.
“They were fine with it. Jane is not ready for marriage and I cannot force her to marry me if she doesn’t want to.” Thor laments, truly sounding sad about her refusal.
“Doesn’t she care that you’re marrying someone else?” You wonder, watching his expression as he begins to lead you towards the dining hall.
“In a way.” Thor nods. “She and I want to be together, but Jane is devoted to her work. She could not make the time for the obligations marrying me would entail.”
“Sounds selfish.” You observe, hating Jane a bit because she has what you didn’t know you wanted. Maybe not exactly Thor himself yet, but the love he has for her.
Thor says nothing for a moment, thinking probably. He stops walking and you stop beside him.
“I would not want her to give up her passions. In marrying me, Jane would lose her identity. Which is too important to her to give up. I could never ask her to do it.”
“Because you love her.” You agree.
“Yes.”
“Which is why you find it so easy to do it to me.” You explain, realizing it as you speak it. “Because you don’t care about me. Therefore, my identity has little value. To you.”
Thor’s speechless, staring at you as your own heart pounds. You don’t know where you conjured the audacity to say the words out loud as they came to you, but they’re true. Truer than even you know.
“I do care.” Thor argues softly, looking at your hand wrapped around his bicep.
“You don’t, Thor.” You shake your head, politely disagreeing.
“Yes, I do!” He argues, this time a little more heated.
“What do I do for a living?” You challenge and he stutters, thinking hard.
He furrows his brow, crinkly creases at the corners of his eyes as he ponders.
You observe it’s loveliness. Truly a creature of perfection even with the gold and black metal patch over his eye. If he cared about you, you might actually fall for him. If he gave two shits, you might be a goner.
“Your family left you an inheritance!” He points out, as if this is what you do.
“You don’t remember?” You ask, knowing the answer. “I told you when we met, though I only mentioned it in passing.”
“How am I expected to remember then? If you were not specific?” He retorts.
“If I’d been Jane, you would have remembered.” You tell him.
“No.” He disagrees. “I’m always this inattentive.”
You laugh once, shocked by his candor. “You’re such a liar.”
“I’m not! Ask anyone once we’re seated. They’ll all tell you that I never pay attention or listen. To anyone!” He insists, and you laugh again because he’s being sincere.
His gaze is slight shock as he looks at you, then it softens, and he chuckles with you.
“Why are you laughing?” You ask him.
“I don’t know.” He chuckles again. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, I suppose.”
This sobers you and your laugh dies off.
“Can I ask a favor?” You look at him, trying to read him like you’ve never tried to do so to anyone before.
“Of course.” He nods.
“I know you don’t love me. And I know that the likelihood of you loving me at any point in our marriage is nonexistent, but I really want to try and make this marriage work. I want it to be as real as possible.
“Which means I want you to be honest with me about everything. I don’t want any secrets. I don’t want to think you’re talking to or meeting Jane because you’re acting suspicious. If you have to see her,” And he seems to understand that you mean, if he feels like he needs to for his own sake, because he loves her. “I want to know that’s what you’re doing. Please, don’t make a fool of me, Thor.”
Thor considers you for a moment, absorbing your words as you wait for his response.
Instead of giving you what you want, he gives you a long head-to-toe. “I was right to choose this gown.”
He chose it?
“You look exquisite. Just as a princess should.” He admires. “Come, let’s go introduce you to my friends.”
As he pulls you towards the dining hall, your heart begins to pound again as nervous energy courses through your veins setting your limbs to white noise again. Tingly.
“They’re all very eager to meet the woman who will be Queen of Asgard.”
“I think I’m gonna throw up.” You worry.
Thor chuckles.
“I’m right there with you.”
680 notes · View notes
atlabeth · 4 years
Text
transferred part eight - atla smau
TRANSFERRED - zuko x fem!reader
masterlist | part 7 | part 9 
summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know he’s falling for you as well. 
wc: 4.5k 
warning(s): alcohol, gross guys, cursing, ppl getting drunk, suggestive themes, some pining, y/n being dumb of ass
a/n: i’ve been in a weird place with my writing so that’s why this took longer, it was a combination of writers block and lacking confidence in my writing so sdkjfhs. also for the ending? im sorry. but also im not 
taglist:  @ourbestfriend-mishacollins @lil-lex1 @xxshad0wxb1rdxx @zuko-is-the-sun @akiris @irohs-teapot @thatarthistorynerd @charlenasaxen @minninugget @marvel-ousnesss @count-thotticus @what-ye-egg @furblrwurblr @thesstuff @mariachiii @ietss @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @xbarrjallenx @tommy-braccoli @dreamsluvrr @floofybread​ 
~~~~~~
“SOKKA, WE HAVE TO LEAVE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES! NOW OPEN THE DOOR OR I WILL BREAK IT DOWN MYSELF!” You banged your fist against the door for what felt like the hundredth time, and it seemed to finally work. The door swung open and your brother came out holding his hands up placatingly. You had to give it to him, his hair looked good, but with all the time he had spent styling it in there you would be disappointed if it wasn’t a masterpiece.
“Calm down, Y/N! You just don’t appreciate the art that goes into this,” he said with an exaggerated gesture to himself. You rolled your eyes and pushed past him, closing and locking the door behind him to make sure that no one would disturb you while you got ready. One downside to rooming with all boys was that no one knew how to knock, so you had to be extremely vigilant in making sure that no one walked in on you. 
You had spent a majority of your time picking out the perfect outfit for tonight after you and Zuko had gotten home. It was harder than you thought it was going to be to find something that said, ‘I’m available but not too available, I’m approachable but not too approachable, and also this is hot’, but after a lot of rifling through your closet you decided on a black backless top and navy blue jeans, something that looked good but did not warrant all the time spent searching. 
It didn’t take nearly as long to do your hair and makeup, maybe because you were rapidly running out of time, but you decided to just go with a simple look that brought out your eye color and what you usually did for parties for your hair. 
You nearly stabbed yourself in the eye with your mascara wand when you heard banging on the door. “Y/N, WE HAVE TO LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES! NOW OPEN THE DOOR OR I WILL BREAK IT DOWN MYSELF!”
“Sokka, if you’re gonna yell at me then BE ORIGINAL!” You called back as you finished your eyes up. You shoved all the products back into your makeup bag then checked your hair one last time before leaving the bathroom. 
“How do I look, boys?” You walked into the kitchen and grabbed your purse off the island, testing the waters with the heels you had decided to wear last minute. They were only a couple inches but it had been a while since you wore them, and you would prefer if you didn’t fall over in front of every hot person at this party. 
Sokka followed you into the kitchen after nearly getting hit by the door, his tone somehow exasperated already. “You look fine. Now can we please get going? It’s one thing to be fashionably late, but we can’t be LATE late.”
“I love the heels, Y/N,” Aang gave you a grin and two thumbs up which you returned. 
When you looked to Zuko for his reaction, you were surprised to see a faint blush dusting his cheeks and his eyes wider than usual as they lingered on you. “You look- um- wow. You look great. Are you sure you won’t get cold?”
You felt your face heat up and you smiled, subconsciously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I guess I can just borrow your jacket if I need to,” you teased with a wink as you walked past him. “Come on Sokka, I’ll race you for shotgun!” 
“Oh, that is so cheap—!” Before you knew it, the two of you were sprinting out the door, pushing each other 
“Pick your jaw up off the floor, Zuko,” Aang said jokingly once you were out of the apartment, the distant yells of you and your brother bouncing through the hallway. “Y’know, you could probably make a move tonight. I think she’s into you!” 
“I- that’s not- I wasn’t- we’re just friends!” Zuko stammered as he picked up his keys from the table, finally snapping out of his stupor.
“Whatever you say, Sifu Hotman!” 
“I don’t— it’s not like that!”
~~~~~~
It was a quick ride over to the apartment with Sokka’s instructions — who had somehow beat you to the car winning shotgun (you blamed your heels) — and soon you were in front of Apartment B29 knocking on the door. A man about your age opened the door, and you blinked in surprise as you were hit by the wave of noise coming from inside. Sokka pushed past you and did a very complicated handshake with the guy before clapping him on the back. 
“Kento, how are ya doin’? I brought my roommates with me, is that cool?”
“Of course, man! The more the merrier!” Sokka grinned and high-fived him and the four of you moved inside, all of your senses assaulted by a barrage of.. everything. 
It was a surprisingly active party in a surprisingly big place, but you supposed that had to be the case for someone to throw something this size. Your eyes immediately started drifting around, searching for your friends that had arrived before you, and you started tugging on Aang’s shirt and pointing. “There they are! Come on!” 
You practically dragged the poor boy behind you as your brother and Zuko followed behind in a less forced way, and you barreled into Suki, each knocking the air out of each other with the strength of your hugs.
“You’re here!” Suki looked at your outfit and whistled. “And you look fantastic? This is the Y/N that I have been missing!”
You laughed and pulled away from her, giving one armed hugs to both Katara and Toph before settling in while everyone else greeted each other. “Gotta make a good first impression on BSSU guys, right?” 
“Oh, I think you already have,” Katara smirked, her eyes flicking over to Zuko for a second before training back on you. 
You furrowed your brows, about to question Katara further, when Suki gasped and grabbed your hand. 
“Oh, speaking of guys! There are a couple guys in my psych class tht are here that I think you’d really be into. Come on!” Suki started pulling you away and you looked back at the rest of the group with an amused expression before giving in and running away with her. 
Katara groaned, looking at Toph with desperation that she couldn’t see. “That girl is hopeless. How am I supposed to do my matchmaking if she’s trying to set her up with random guys?” 
“Guess you’ll either have to try harder or let it go, sugar queen.” 
“You know I’m not letting this go.” Katara could’ve kept going on about it, but thankfully for Toph, Aang slung his arm around Katara’s shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. 
“Come on, Katara! Let’s start this party off right.” The two of them grinned at each other and went off to the midst of everyone, no doubt to dance together. 
“Zuko? You there?” Toph questioned.
“Yeah?” Parties were very much not Zuko’s thing, so he didn’t exactly know what he was going to do now that everyone had split up.
Toph elbowed him and started walking through the crowd, Zuko following hurriedly after her as he rubbed his shoulder. “What was that for?”
“It’s how I show affection.” Toph grabbed onto his hand so that she wouldn’t run into everything in her way, and continued walking. “Now come on, let’s do something! Sokka’s talking with his boys, Y/N is probably off hitting on some guys while Suki encourages her, and Katara and Aang are doing some dumb couple stuff. Which means that we have to do something.” 
Zuko chuckled and shrugged. “Sure.” Hopefully Suki wasn’t serious about setting you up. Of course, he didn’t like you like that, but you were too good for the kind of guy that you would find at this kind of party. He supposed that he was that kind of guy because he was here, but he was different, right? You wouldn’t see him in that light— 
“Ow! Why’d you do that again?” Zuko was sure he was going to have a bruise if he hung out with Toph for the rest of the night.
“Because I can tell that you’re thinking of something stupid.”
“I am not—
“Zuko, I can’t even see you and I know you’re lying.”  
He was suddenly too distracted to focus on Toph calling him out because he saw you, talking animatedly with a couple of guys and Suki by your side. They all started laughing at whatever you said, and your smile, even from that far away, made his heart flutter. But for some reason, seeing you with those boys made him feel.. annoyed.
He didn’t even realize he was clenching his fists until Toph hit him, albeit softer, on the shoulder. “Lighten up on the grip, sparky!”
“Sorry,” he said, blinking a couple of times. “Let’s keep going.”
This was going to be a long night for Zuko.
~~~~~~
You had separated from the group to get another drink, having already finished your cup in the time it took to tell a couple stories. You pursed your lips and picked a beer up from the cooler, then placed the cap on the edge of the table and slammed down on top of it with your other hand. The bottle cap fell off and you took a sip, pleased that it worked. It was a party trick you had picked up when you first moved to Kyoshi, and though using a bottle opener was loads easier, this was more fun. 
“Nice move.” You turned around, surprised when you heard a voice behind you, nearly spilling your drink in the process. It belonged to a tall, brown haired boy with some interesting eyebrows and a toothpick in his mouth. 
“Thanks.” You smiled lightly and moved to walk away, but he blocked your path. 
“What, do I not get a name?” His words had an air of cockiness to them, and he leaned against the wall next to the table. “I’m Jet.” 
“Ohhhh, you’re Jet.” You took a sip of your drink to mask your grimace and rolled your eyes, already looking around for Suki to get away to. Your sister had told you about her experiences with this guy, and though there was some irony in him hitting on you all these years later, you weren’t into it. “Yeah, no thanks.” 
You started to walk away but he wrapped his hand around your wrist and pulled you back to him, causing you to let out a small yelp. You were already kinda tipsy, so you got much closer than you would’ve liked (being in the same room with him was too close to be fair) and he smirked at you. Now this, this was definitely how you wanted your night to go. 
“Come on darling, just give me a chance. I’m not that bad.” He was attractive, you would admit that, but the way he was acting was a red flag that you weren’t going to miss again. 
“Oh, I’m sure you are.” You tried to pull your wrist out of his grip but he wasn’t budging. You glared up at him and set your jaw. “Do you really want to do this tonight? Because I’ve got time, buddy.”
“I’m just asking a pretty girl for her name, it’s not a crime. Of course, I’ll also go for your number.” He was smooth as ever, unfazed until another voice cut in.
“She said no. Now leave her alone, Jet.” 
You felt his grip loosen on your wrist and you immediately pulled away, looking over to see who had saved you from the fight that you were sure was imminent. Your eyes lit up when you saw that it was Zuko, and you backed over so that you were on his side. You noticed he ever so slightly positioned himself in front of you. 
“Ah.. You two a thing?” The confidence from before was replaced with what looked like anger with a hint of jealousy. 
“No, he’s just a guy that knows what ‘no’ means,” you shot back. Now you wanted to fight, but Zuko took your hand and shook his head. 
“He’s not worth it. Let’s go, Y/N.” He started walking away and you followed, but were unable to resist one more jab at that cocky jerk. 
“I’m not into jerks that fuck over my sister!” You yelled over your shoulder as Zuko pulled you away. The two of you emerged out of the apartment onto the empty balcony, and you inhaled the fresh air. 
“Thanks for that. I think I would’ve started a fight if I stayed there for another second.” You tipped back the rest of your beer and frowned, twirling the bottle between your fingers before setting it on the ground next to you. “God, this sucks. Why am I drinking it again?” 
“Because you’re a broke college kid that wants to get drunk at a party thrown by other broke college kids?” Zuko offered helpfully. 
You hummed in agreement and leaned your back against the railing, pointing your finger at him. “Right on the mark, mister.” 
He smiled as he leaned against the wall, conveniently ignoring the chair right next to him. You figured it was for his ‘cool guy image’, but it was once again doing it for you. “He didn’t hurt you or anything, right?” 
You snorted and shook your head, running a hand through your hair as you looked into the night. The party was still going on strong back inside, but it was nice to get away for a moment, especially with Zuko. “Nah. If he tried anything, he would be the one getting hurt.”
Zuko chuckled, pushing himself up from the wall and walking over to you. Another thing you had noticed from living with him and being his classmate — this boy could not sit still. “I believe that wholeheartedly.” 
“Does Jet have something against you?” You questioned, casting a glance at him. “Because as soon as you showed up, he looked really angry.” 
“We have some.. messy history. Some stuff that happened in high school that he can’t let go.” Zuko stared down at the ground and you nodded, taking that as a sign to not push further.
“It’s like the only guys I attract are douchebags,” you groaned, letting your head fall back to stare at the sky. “But seriously, thank you. You never know how guys like that get when you reject them.”
“Anything for you.” Zuko’s eyes widened when he realized what he said and he tried to cover it up with a cough, stammering to fix it. “B-because you’re one of my roommates! And my friend! And it’s not like I would just leave one of my friends to fend by themselves especially when they’re drunk—”
“Shhhhhh.” You waved your hand in front of his face, trying to get him to stop. “You, my good sir, talk too much.” You let out a laugh at his expression and mimicked his stance, resting your forearms against the railing and shivering a bit as a gust of wind blew by. “Just.. stand here for a little with me. Appreciate the stars,” you crooned with a flourish of your arm. 
You both stood there in comfortable silence, the sounds of the party raging behind you reduced to mere background noise as you became lost in your surroundings. It was just you, Zuko, and the sky. 
“It’s beautiful,” you mused.
“It is,” he agreed. When you glanced at him, you saw that Zuko’s eyes had never left you. Your face immediately heated up and you averted your gaze with a small smile, self-consciously brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. This time when you shivered you felt something being draped around your shoulders and your eyes widened in surprise when you saw it was Zuko giving you his jacket. You prayed to any god that would listen that he couldn’t see how flushed your cheeks were. 
“What are you doing?” 
“You did say you would borrow mine if you got cold, right?” 
You hummed thoughtfully and slipped your arms into the sleeves, already feeling warmer. Whether it was from not having your whole back exposed or wearing something of Zuko’s though, you didn’t know. “I guess I did.”
When you met his gaze again, it was like some invisible force was stopping you from looking away. All of the sounds of the party faded away, and it was like the world around you had stopped. It was just you and Zuko, and you unconsciously started leaning forward. 
You jumped and nearly screamed when you felt a buzz against your back pocket, letting out a relieved breath when you realized it was only your phone. You pulled out your phone and tried your hardest to look absorbed in it, trying to pretend like you weren’t just about to try and kiss Zuko right then. That moment was completely and wholly ruined. 
“Ugh,” you rolled your eyes as you read the text on your phone and started to walk back inside. “Apparently Aang and Toph have gotten into a debate about… moral relativism? God, I have no idea why they’re talking about that at a party, or who they’re even arguing with, but apparently it’s getting heated. Wanna come with?” 
Zuko chuckled and shook his head. “I think I’ll take a few more moments out here. Parties drain me sometimes.” In truth, he needed a while to process what just happened between the two of you, what he had done. He definitely hadn’t imagined that moment, and he knew he would be thinking of your eyes and how they sparkled in the moonlight for days to come. 
“Ah, I totally get you, man. Take all the time you need, text me if you need anything!” You winked at him and ran back inside, which Zuko reciprocated with a light smile.
~~~~~~
You spent the rest of the night having a great time — drinking more shitty beer with Sokka, dancing with Katara and Toph, singing so badly to the music with Suki that you were amazed they hadn’t kicked you out, and telling stories to anyone who would listen with Aang’s assistance (you two made a great team). The only thing you needed was some time with Zuko - besides the time you spent together out on the balcony you had hardly seen him doing anything that wasn’t hanging on the outside of the party. The not-so-hushed conversations between three drunk girls and the designated driver about it went just as well as one might think. 
“Look how sad he looks! Who comes to a party just to not party?” You caught Zuko’s eye again and waved, which he returned with a smile and a small wave of his own. 
“Zuko does. He’s all ‘look at me! I’m going to show how cool and brooding I am by not doing anything. All the chicks dig it,’” Toph mocked, dropping her voice lower to imitate Zuko. 
“Toph, that is so mean! You can’t even see him.” Suki placed her hands on each side of Toph’s face which Toph immediately slapped away. “You are so beautiful. You are a beautiful blind woman, and we need to dance.” 
“Suki, why are your hands so cold- oh my GOD—” Suki grabbed Toph’s hand and pulled her into the fray, causing you to dissolve into giggles. You grabbed Katara’s shoulder and looked back over at Zuko. 
“He looks so sad, Katara! I can’t stand it!” You stared your sister in the eyes and put your other hand on her shoulder. “I’m gonna ask him to dance. I’m going to pull that beautiful man out of the shadows of his angst and I’m going to make him dance to this trashy pop song with me and bring out his happiness.”
Katara snorted and placed her hand over yours on her shoulder, casting a glance at Zuko as well. “Are you sure? I mean, I’m pretty sure the only reason he’s here is because he has to drive you guys home.”  
“My dear sister, I’m afraid to tell you that you are wrong. No one—” you gestured to yourself. “—can be sad around this.” 
You clapped Katara on the shoulder then pushed your way through the crowd until you got to Zuko, not even giving him a chance to react before you grabbed his hand and started pulling him behind you back into the center of the party. 
“What are you doing?” He yelled, having to raise his voice to be heard over the music and everyone around the two of you. 
“I’m getting you to dance with me!” You grinned, letting go of his hand and facing him once you had gotten far enough in. He looked so out of his element that your eyes softened immediately and you put your hand on his shoulder. 
“Zuko, if you’re uncomfortable then you can tell me and you can go back to what you were doing before. But please, just give this a chance for one minute. I think you’ll have fun.” 
A beat of silence passed before he nodded, and your smile returned. “Y/N, you know I’ve danced before, right?” 
“I don’t doubt it. But you haven’t danced the Y/N way.” The song conveniently changed to an upbeat, commercial pop song, and you gasped. “And this is the perfect song to start with! Come on, just follow my lead!” 
You started to dance like no one was watching, jumping up and down, waving your arms around, and doing some truly ridiculous moves. Zuko stifled a laugh and you beckoned for him to come closer. “Get in on this, man! You promised me one minute, which means one minute of this.” 
Zuko started to inch closer but you grabbed his hand once more and pulled him in, doing all of your moves from before but this time holding onto his hand. You looked so carefree, so happy, that Zuko couldn’t not do this with you. You were right that this wasn’t his scene, but he would do a lot of things if it meant seeing you like this.
Suki ran back to Katara, pulling a disheveled Toph behind her, and she gestured with her head at you and Zuko with a questioning look. “Is Zuko.. dancing? To a trashy pop song?” 
Katara chuckled and nodded. “Yep.” 
“Oh my god, is she wearing his jacket?” 
“Yep.” 
“Zuko doing things at a party and not just brooding in the corner? I think the world’s about to end,” Toph said. 
“I think my sister just has that effect on him, somehow.” Katara sighed happily, looking back at her two friends with a twinkle in her eye. You grabbed onto Zuko’s hands and pulled him closer, swinging your hands back and forth between the two of you as the song changed to a more chill beat. “I haven’t seen him smile this much in ages.” 
You ended up dancing together for a whole lot more than one minute. 
~~~~~~
“I just- I want you guys to know how much I love you. Sokka brought us to this cool ass party, Aang is a ball of literal sunshine, my girls always got my back, and Zuko gave me his jacket because I was cold. Not that I could be cold around you, because you. Are. Hot.” Your words were slightly slurred as you and your friends walked through the parking lot. and your eyes widened as you started taking it off. “Oh shit, do you want this back? I totally forgot that I was wearing it.” 
“No- no, you can keep it! I don’t mind.” Tonight had definitely changed something between you and Zuko. Your time on the balcony together, him giving you his jacket, somehow roping him into dancing like an idiot, and all these compliments that you were just throwing around? His feelings were all over the place, but it was just the party getting to him, right? You two were friends. Nothing else. But the more you flashed that smile at him, the harder it got to convince himself that was all you two were. That it was all he wanted you two to be. 
“Alright, so let me get this straight. Toph and Y/N are coming home with me to our dorm, Zuko is driving the boys back to their apartment, and Suki is abandoning us to get it on with my brother?” Katara questioned, clicking the button on her keys a few times to unlock her car. 
“I’m not abandoning you if I told you about it before we came here!” Suki and Sokka were holding hands, constantly whispering and laughing to each other the entire way out of the apartment. “You know that every party there’s a very real possibility of us going home together.” 
“Yeah, and I try not to think about it,” she said wryly as she helped Toph into the passenger seat. “Make sure they don’t do anything stupid, Zuko?” 
“I can’t make any promises. You know how they are.” 
“Hey! We are two adults in a loving relationship and we are allowed to do whatever we want—” Sokka protested, leaning against Suki for support. 
“We don’t want to hear about that, Sokka! Just— don’t mess up my part of the room, okay? And if you do anything on my bed I will ruin you.” You pointed at him accusingly and Suki gave him a big kiss. 
“Don’t worry, Y/N! It’s all gonna be fine,” Suki grinned at you and poked Sokka’s cheek, and you shook your head. 
“I’m too drunk and too sleep deprived to deal with this,” you grumbled as you climbed into the back seat of Katara’s car, nearly falling over as soon as you sat down. 
“Take care of her, okay?” Zuko muttered to Katara as he walked past her. She mock saluted and grinned. 
“As if I’m capable of anything else.” 
Through the window you could see Aang and Zuko talking about something while you left the parking lot, but you couldn’t hear them. “Whaddya think they’re talking about?” 
“It’s probably nothing,” Katara said with a smile. 
~~~~~~
Soon, you, Katara, and Toph were all back at the dorm, sitting on the floor talking together. It had been a long time since you had gotten some girl time, and no other time was better than after partying your heart out. 
You pulled out your phone and stared at it, tuning out Katara and Toph as they started going on about one of their classes. You had an internal conversation with yourself, then unlocked it and went to your messages. Drunk you was taking control, and drunk you was not the smartest.
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mmvalentine · 3 years
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The Bargain Pt 2 | Feysand
Modern AU. Read Part 1 Part 3.
Feyre's first time being tattooed was surreal- positive in many ways, but mostly it just hurt a lot. There was no way of preparing herself for the pain, Rhys just sent her an email reminder of her upcoming appointment and advised that she have a big carb-based meal before she come.
And then there she was, lying on his bench, staring at the thousand ink drawings they had pinned up around the studio and trying to take her mind off the searing sensation in her forearm.
Rhys had drawn her a beautiful design, just like all the other beautiful designs she had seen on his website. She hadn't wanted to see it before today, hadn't wanted anything to make her chicken out. This appointment had been booked for three months, and the more time went on the more sure she was that she wanted this. She would lie in bed, in the dark and be able to see the ink on her skin in her mind.
The design itself seemed to be made of smoke and stars. Every tattoo Rhys made was different of course. While she had been saving pictures of florals and swirls, this one seemed to contain midnight clouds within the pattern. She loved it from the moment the stencil hit her skin. Now she just had to endure three sessions of agony and then it was hers forever.
On the upside, Rhys actually made her feel very safe. And Feyre tried very hard to convince herself that it had nothing to do with the fact that he was exceptionally attractive. There was something about the way his shoulders were so big, but his hands were so gentle as he moved her arm, that made her feel assured that even though she was in pain and her body was freaking out, he was in control.
For a while, Feyre looked around herself, for distraction. Studied the sketches pinned up all over the studio, and how each artist had a wall that was distinct in style. Counted the Japanese masks that hung along one wall, that stared back at her with empty eyes. Watched Rhys' face as he concentrated, and the muscles that moved in his arms.
"Do you get used to the pain?" she asked. Rhys, like all of the artists in the space, had both his arms and what she could see of his chest under his t-shirt covered in tattoos.
"Yes and no," Rhys answered, without lifting his eyes from her wrist. "I think the pain is just as bad but you can endure it a little longer each time. Unless of course you stop doing it for too long. Take, oh, six months, a year off, and then you have to build your tolerance all over again."
"What's the longest you've ever been tattooed for?" "I did ten hours once, but I wouldn't do it again." He flashed her a grin. "Felt like death. I was shaking so hard, I didn't even realise at first and I wanted to keep going. But the artist had to stop because I was making his lines wonky. Then I felt like I had the flu the next day."
"Wow," Feyre said. "Ten hours feels impossible." "You're doing great," Rhys reassured her. "Just tell me if you need to stop, and we can finish for the day." "I'm okay," Feyre said.
A while later, she asked, "Did you go to art school?" Rhys redipped his machine in the ink. "Yeah, I did," he said. "I actually thought I might paint murals or something. But then my first year out I was offered an apprenticeship, and this is actually a pretty stable income as far as art goes. So I never left." "Where did you go?" "I went to Burton's." "I went to NAS," Feyre told him. Rhys looked up at that.
"You went to NAS?" He whistled. "That's a great art school. I heard they got Katherine Silkie to teach a term there." "Yeah, it was the best term of my degree." "I'll bet," Rhys said. "I used so many of her pieces as inspiration works. So you paint too?" "Yeah, I do. Do you still get to paint much?"
Rhys shook his head. "Nah. Mostly drawing for work at the moment." He was quiet for a moment. "I haven't really painted since I moved out of my ex-partner's place. She used to hate the smell of paint, it made her so mad. So I stopped painting at home, and then I left school and didn't have just... never really did it after that."
"Oh. That's too bad," Feyre said. "My boyfriend likes my paintings... but I kind of feel like he thinks they're a way to keep me busy." "What do you mean keep you busy?" "Like... sometimes if he doesn't want me to go out, or go with him to things, he suggests that I 'work on my painting.'"
Rhys paused and looked up at her.
"What do you mean 'doesn't want you to go out'?" he asked her. Feyre shrugged. Memories of Tamlin telling her she didn't need to go out now that she had him, of him telling her "it's not you I don't trust, it's other guys," of him not wanting her with him when he met up with his own friends. She swallowed a lump in her throat, and when the needle touched her skin again it was almost a distant sort of a pain.
"You know," Rhys said slowly. Focusing on the drawing he was carving into her. "My ex was really controlling. She had her own stuff going on so I tried to be understanding. I think I let a lot of stuff slide because I figured it wasn't her fault, she had like a pretty horrible family and a lot of mental health issues as a result. But, then a few years in I realised we were both just steadily getting worse. And she wasn't willing to work on any of it, she just always blamed me."
Feyre looked at him, but Rhys didn't lift his eyes from the tattoo.
"I got out eventually, but actually the worst of it was the six months after I left. I was grieving, but also she was throwing everything she had at me. So I get that relationships are complicated and I'm not going to pretend like I know anything about yours. I just want you to know that I've been in a hard situation and it took me ages to leave, and then it got worse but then it got better."
Rhys turned the machine off then, and set it on the table next to him. He wet down a paper towel and cleaned up her arm.
"I hope it gets better for you, too." He gave her her arm back, and looked up at her. "You're all done."
Feyre looked down at her forearm and marvelled at the new tattoo there. The skin was red and swollen, and but the pattern was beautiful and perfect.
"Shading next time," Rhys said. Feyre just blinked down at herself.
"Thank you," she said. "I love it, so much." "You're very welcome." Rhys smiled at her. "You did a great job, especially for your first tattoo." It was a small compliment, but Feyre felt an unreasonably large bloom of pride in her chest. Not to mention a blush that was triggered by the dimple in Rhys' smile. How embarrassing, she was crushing on her tattoo artist.
Then Rhys began pulling out lengths of clingfilm to wrap her up. He went through the after care instructions, and Feyre nodded along. Honestly, she was still shaking a little from her body being under stress for so long, and was very grateful when Rhys gave her a little flyer with everything written down. Finally, they were done, and Rhys stood with his hands leaning on the bench as she tried to sort out her feelings.
"Take it easy tonight," Rhys said. "It feels weird that I just met you," Feyre said. Now that the pain had stopped, left over adrenaline coursed through her veins, and she felt giddy. And she suddenly found it odd that this person, whom she had just let cut her arm up and make permanent marks in it, was a stranger. The words slipped out before she knew what she was saying. "Can we be friends, Rhys?"
The dimple again.
"Sure," he said. "But I'm afraid I can't see you outside of the shop, at least not while I'm tattooing you. I gotta be professional, and all."
"Okay," Feyre nodded. "I guess I'll see you in a month, then." Rhys nodded. "One month," he said. "And Feyre? Thanks for the trust today."
And then she walked off into the dark, clutching her arm to her chest and feeling both relieved and a little sad that the day was over.
****
MASTERLIST
TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose
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rpmemesbyarat · 4 years
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Hello Tumblr people. I’m 31 years old and I’ve been on Tumblr since 2014. That’s not really old, and that’s not really a long time, but I know it’s older and longer than a lot of other folks. Tumblr is a space mainly populated by teens and twenties, and I know when I was in that age group, I thought 31 was a Real Adult (TM) Which, shit, it’s not, it’s really not, especially not for me, but nonetheless, I have learned some things in my time that I wish I could impart to my younger self, and instead will impart to y’all. Take what you like and what works for you and leave the rest, I’m no expert or guru or authority on anything, I’m just trying to be helpful. Being nice costs nothing. I once was standoffish to someone who came and chatted to me in IMs. That guy later died. True story. I feel terrible about it to this day. I was wary and kind of snotty in those days and I regret that. It’s one thing to be careful about strangers approaching but that wasn’t what I did here. It costs nothing to be nice. It costs nothing to be friendly. To do stuff like show interest in others, care about what they have to say, comment when they share things about their day. These are tiny things that cost nothing but give so much. Don’t pass the opportunity by. And definitely don’t snub someone for no reason. If you don’t want to interact, you don’t have to, but don’t be cold about it unless it’s legitimately because you’re uncomfy with this person and want them to go away. Your safety and comfort do come before any obligation to be nice, but I hope it’s clear that’s not what I’m talking about here. Be a candle that lights other candles. You know what else costs nothing? Encouragement. There’s nothing stopping you from telling others what you like about their content, what they post, what they create, what thoughts they have, the things they say, or just how passionate they are about something. There’s nothing stopping you from saying you hope the best for someone going through a rough time, or how cute their pets are, or how you’re glad they got themselves a treat today. You don’t need to be someone’s therapist ---I know I sure don’t have the emotional energy for that--or have solutions for them, you don’t need to force yourself to say anything insincere or that you don’t have the spoons for, but when you can, say something positive to others. First impressions can be wrong but gut feelings are often right. Like I said, being nice should NEVER trump your own comfort or safety. If you get weird vibes from someone, book it. Sure, you could be wrong. I’ve been wrong about a lot of people. I’ve also been right about others, and should have left when I had the chance before they could prove to me how right I was. Technically, there was nothing stopping me. It was online, after all. I could have just vanished and they’d probably never have tracked me down or made contact again. But I was lonely, and socially awkward, and like many people, most of my human contact was online, and I thought that this was worth it. It’s not. Whatever kind of friendship or therapeutic RP or free art or support or compliments or advice you’re getting from someone online. . . it’s not worth it if they’re mean or creepy too. Whatever you are getting, you can find it somewhere else, in someone else, who won’t make you have to put up with that kind of crap for it. If something feels wrong, don’t wait around for it to get worse. Yes, you may be incorrectly judging a situation and running from nothing, but it’s better you run from nothing than NOT run from SOMETHING. And I know that things like anxiety disorders, trauma, and just different communication styles can make it hard to judge these things (I’ve thought people didn’t like me before just because they were far less effusive in their typing style than I am, and I was wrong) but if you really feel uncomfortable, like this person has said mean or sexual things to you, it’s not just the brain weasels telling you lies. If you’re truly in doubt, get another person’s opinion, but also don’t let them convince you “it’s nothing” if it feels like something. Trust yourself. Creeps, like children, will test your boundaries. Kids will do shit just to see what they can get away and how far they can push you before you put your foot down. Creeps are the same. They’ll start with stuff that you can easily ignore, brush off, and put up with without feeling it’s worth ditching the whole friendship over. But they’ll rarely let it stay there. They’ll typically escalate it if they’re not rebuked. Rebuke them. It can be scary. It can be hard. I know this. I know it firsthand. But feel no sympathy. Feel no fear. Tell them off and pack your bags. They want to know how much you’ll put up with? Show them----nothing at all, that’s what. Don’t be afraid to change your views but don’t feel the need to broadcast it. I’m never getting a personal Tumblr. Because I’m glad they weren’t around when I was a teen. I would have posted things I don’t believe now. Same for when I’m in my 20s. And I bet that will the be the case in my 40s, 50s, and 60s too. Our lives are journeys of changing, learning, and unlearning. And that’s great. But if you post every step of your journey for the world to see, there are those who will use it against you, even if it was stuff from years ago that you should be applauded for growing from, not derided for having ever believed in. Not to mention that what’s the most up-to-date woke terminology and politics changes very rapidly, and what was acceptable when I was a teen is not the preferred lingo now, and it’s likely going to keep changing, and there will be people who find your posts and don’t care about that either. I realize Tumblr gives us a format to metaphorically scream our present beliefs and show how right what you believe is, and the urge to reblog when you see something you agree with wholeheartedly is strong. And if you’ve got a blog that doesn’t easily connect back with you, or you don’t plan to have for the next five years, or whatever, go ahead. But if your blog can be easily connected to you, and therefore could be connected to you again in the future, it wouldn’t hurt to be a bit judicious. I’m not saying “don’t take a stand on anything ever because you might change your mind and/or someone might drag you”, I am saying that in the age of cancel culture and people deep digging for ancient receipts, young people are no longer getting to have their journeys, with all their rooms for fuckups and re-thinkings, that I and those before me got to have, and I think that sucks. By all means, take a stand on what you believe in now, fight for it with all your heart, just also don’t make it too easy for other people to use it against you should you ever change your mind---and don’t be afraid to change your mind either, even when it’s against the grain of what’s presently popular opinion. Find things out for yourself when possible You know how when they taught you things in school about history and America and whatnot and now you’ve found out that there’s so much they DIDN’T tell you, and at least half of what they did is a very edited sack of hooey? Well, the same is true of Tumblr, Facebook, and other online spaces as well as real life. We all laugh at our Boomer parents and grandparents who share clearly false stories on Facebook because they can’t tell that it was clearly crafted to incite their anger or endorsement based on how it’s tailored to validate their beliefs, but I see the same thing happen here. Loads of tale gets touted as “true” on Tumblr because they have been made to appeal to us emotionally by validating our beliefs. But just because our beliefs may be good or progressive or what have you, does not mean that everything that appeals to them is going to be true. When you see a post circulating that claims something really cool about history or such is true, I suggest fact-checking it. This will help halt the spread of misinformation---even if it’s harmless---and help you build your critical thinking and research skills. This does not mean “you must change your views” it means “be skeptical even when something validates your views” People on our own side can lie, and that’s not harmless even if it seems so---contributing to a culture of misinformation is NOT harmless, and we’re less likely to be skeptical of claims that validate what we already believe. Don’t fall for this. That’s all. I hope something in here was valuable to you. If not, thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day!
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carewyncromwell · 3 years
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“Uptown girl --  You know I can't afford to buy her pearls, But maybe someday when my ship comes in, She'll understand what kind of guy I've been, And then I'll win!”
~“Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel
x~x~x~x
Bill Weasley had always had trouble relating to kids his age. As the oldest of seven kids, he’d pretty quickly slipped into the role of support for his mother Molly, parenting and looking after his younger siblings while his father Arthur was at work in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office. Even when he was little, there wasn’t really anyone his age in his tiny hometown of Ottery St. Catchpole. All of the other magical families with kids in the area were much younger than Bill, and it was always a tricky proposition trying to play with the Muggle children who lived closest to the Burrow, with the Statute of Secrecy looming large. So when Bill got to Hogwarts, he found himself almost inevitably falling back on how he acted around his younger siblings, even with kids his own age...which, in turn, made Bill lose his footing, when those kids his age didn’t respond well to being coddled or “looked after.” And given Bill’s rather modest, people-pleasing personality, he wasn’t the type to force anyone to listen to him or do what he said...and so, almost inevitably, he found himself at a loss about how to interact with someone without looking after them in some way, on completely equal footing. And thus Bill Weasley, sweet and amiable as he was, actually found himself largely alone in those first two years he spent at Hogwarts -- and that solitude was something he found out pretty quickly he really didn’t like. 
Bill was relieved when his younger brother Charlie started his first year at Hogwarts. Although Bill had trouble admitting to his family just how unhappy he’d been those last two years, the eldest Weasley was secretly relieved that he’d now have some family at school too. He had always been closest to Charlie out of all of his siblings, given their closeness in age, so it was comforting to know he’d at least have one friend to spend time with, when he wasn’t in class. Charlie’s year, however, also included a ginger-haired Slytherin girl called Cromwell -- the same surname as the infamous “delinquent” Jacob Cromwell, who’d been expelled from Hogwarts and disappeared mysteriously a few years ago. 
Bill first heard about Jacob Cromwell’s sister Carewyn through Charlie, who’d heard that she’d stood up to another Slytherin in their year, Merula Snyde, for bullying Charlie’s timid dormmate Ben Copper and even defeated her in a duel with a Disarming Charm, a spell not taught until at least Bill’s year. Despite himself, Bill actually felt a bit relieved -- he hadn’t known Jacob Cromwell at all, but he figured it had to have been really difficult, for someone to lose their only sibling. Even if he didn’t know Carewyn Cromwell at all, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her...but at least if she was still confident enough to stand up for herself and others, then it probably meant she was doing okay, even with what had happened to her and her family. And his analysis seemed to be confirmed when Carewyn sought Bill out to get his help the following year with breaking the curse on the Ice Vault. From the moment they first met, Bill made up his mind -- Carewyn Cromwell needed someone to look after her, so he would, until she found her brother again. And so Bill and Carewyn became friends. 
In Bill’s fifth year, he was named Gryffindor Prefect. It was a rather obvious choice for Minerva McGonagall, considering Bill’s predisposition to “look after” and mentor younger students, but it still filled Arthur and Molly Weasley with immense pride. It was also the first year that Bill and Charlie invited Carewyn home for the holidays, upon hearing that her mother Lane had been commissioned by the Ministry of Magic for an international assignment and wouldn’t be able to be home in time for Christmas. When he heard Merula Snyde also wouldn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with, Bill made the remarkably kind move to invite her to the Burrow as well, even with Charlie and Carewyn’s misgivings -- but that holiday ended up being one of the best all four of them had ever had. Merula and Carewyn were even able to mend fences enough to sing Christmas carols together, the first’s clear Soprano voice hovering ethereally over the second’s warm, emotional Alto harmonies. That Christmas was also the year Carewyn gave Bill his very first record -- an album called An Innocent Man, by an Muggle artist named Billy Joel. Arthur Weasley was almost more thrilled by the gift than his son was, and he immediately brought out the Muggle record player he’d...”been allowed to take home” from work so Carewyn could show the Weasleys how to play the record on it. And for the rest of the winter break, it wasn’t uncommon for one of the Weasleys to put the record on in the background while doing dishes or playing a game of Wizard’s Chess in front of the fire. The song from the record Bill found himself humming the most, even after returning to Hogwarts, was the first song on side two of the record. He’d liked the tune immediately just because it was fun...but it also reminded him of a girl in his year he’d been trying to muster up the courage to talk to -- a very pretty and daring Gryffindor named Emily Tyler. 
“And when she's walking, she's looking so fine, And when she's talking, she'll say that she's mine... She'll say I'm not so tough, Just because I'm in love with an uptown girl!”
Emily Tyler was the most popular girl in Bill’s year, as well as one of the most popular in Gryffindor house overall. She’d made a name for herself at the Dueling Club, where she remained Gryffindor’s main champion -- it was likely only thanks to Hufflepuff’s own dueling prodigy, Diego Caplan, that Emily had any competition at all. She also was top of her class in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Bill’s favorite and best subject, even managing to Stun an entire flock of bats with one spell. And coupled with that talent was a lot of style, confidence, and ability to captivate and charm others. She never seemed uncomfortable in a crowd and never seemed to be at a loss for words around her peers -- something Bill himself still struggled with. She’d even expressed some interest in Cursebreaking post-Hogwarts, gushing about the acclaim and glamour of the profession. In short, in Bill’s eyes, Emily just seemed amazing -- a bit out of his league, sure...but maybe if he was brave and put himself out there, she might give him a chance!
So one day, right around spring break, Bill passed Emily a note in Defense Against the Dark Arts, asking her to meet him in the castle courtyard. The eldest Weasley was kind of an emotional wreck on the inside, absolutely beside himself with nerves, but he put on his bravest face anyway. He’d even brought a pink rose, which he tried to keep out of sight in his back pocket until Emily arrived. It was the flower that caught Carewyn’s eye, when she was passing through the castle courtyard. 
The third-year Slytherin had been planning on meeting up with Ben and Rowan in the library so they could study up for an upcoming Charms test, but she put that on hold, seeing her friend Bill sitting alone in the courtyard, as if waiting for someone. Normally she would've gone over to say hello, but the pink rose in Bill’s pocket made her give pause -- a fortunate thing too, for not long later, Bill shot to his feet as Emily Tyler entered the courtyard. She was dressed head-to-toe in bright pink, with her dark hair tied up in a high ponytail and her makeup impeccably neat. She wasn’t alone -- several other boys and girls were with her, all talking to her animatedly. They reluctantly waited for her at the edge of the courtyard, their eyes locked on her as she approached Bill. The scrutiny from Emily’s cohorts clearly intimidated Bill, but he didn’t let it rattle him. He faced his crush with the best smile he could.  
“Hi, Emily,” he greeted. “Thanks for coming -- I know you’re pretty busy with the Dueling Club...”
“I am,” assented Emily. Her voice was matter-of-fact. 
Bill gave a weak, uncomfortable laugh. “Well, uh...I won’t take up too much of your time, then. I just wanted to...er...”
He took the pink rose out of his back pocket and offered it to her. Emily blinked down at it in surprise. 
“I wanted to...give this to you,” said Bill with a modest smile. “Pink is your favorite color, I’ve heard. Not that I’ve been eavesdropping on you or anything,” he said very quickly, “I just heard you tell one of your friends that once, last month, and...”
Carewyn felt very uncomfortable, listening to this. Deciding at once that the whole thing really wasn’t her business and that Bill deserved his privacy, she turned to go. She probably would’ve walked away, were it not for how disdainful Emily's voice sounded, when she spoke.
“Is this...some sort of confession?”
Carewyn immediately stopped and turned back around. Emily was looking from her friends on the sidelines to Bill, her face twisted in a very critical, flabbergasted sort of look. 
Bill, to his credit, somehow managed to keep a weak smile on, even as her brought up a hand to rub behind his neck uncomfortably. 
“Well, uh...yes! I guess so. I...was sort of hoping we might be able to hang out sometime...maybe get some butterbeers in Hogsmeade or something -- ”
Emily’s eyes had widened little by little with every word out of Bill’s mouth until, finally, she brought them to an abrupt halt when she started to laugh. 
“You -- you’re serious?” she said incredulously. She glanced over to her friends on the sidelines and then around the rest of the courtyard, as if expecting someone to jump out from behind a nearby pillar. “This is a joke, right? Tell me this is a joke.”
Her laugh and slightly louder voice had caught the attention of some other students close by. Her friends over by the entrance of the courtyard were exchanging disbelieving looks and whispers among themselves. 
Bill’s smile faded. 
“A joke?” he repeated blankly. “No -- it’s not a -- ”
Emily fixed Bill with a rather pitying, condescending look as she slipped the pink rose out of his hand. 
“Look, Bill,” she said very coolly, “you’re cute and all -- but you really think you’re my type? You’re a Weasley. Prefect or no, you’re still a blood traitor in messy, second-hand clothes with younger students always tagging along after you like ducklings and a father who chases after Muggle airplanes and scooters rather than work a job that can pay the bills.”
She carelessly dropped the pink rose in the fountain and turned her back on him. 
“Maybe actually make something of yourself, and then we can talk.”
Carewyn had been furious at the things Emily Tyler had said -- but it was the absolutely devastated, heartbroken look on Bill’s darkly flushing face that made her snap. In an instant, the third-year Slytherin had barreled right up to the pink-dressed Gryffindor as she rejoined her snickering friends at the side of the courtyard. 
“How dare you!”
Emily’s friends all stopped laughing to look down at Carewyn. 
“Excuse me?” said Emily, looking down at the much smaller girl with a very condescending eye.
“Bill bared his heart to you just now, and you don’t even care!” Carewyn said fiercely. “Talking about his family being poor and liking Muggle things as if it’s something to be ashamed of...clearly Bill couldn’t have liked you for your personality, because it’s disgusting!”
Emily’s nose wrinkled as she glanced around at her friends. “I don’t think anyone’s surprised you’d throw in your lot with a Weasley, Cursebreaker kid. Your family’s got even less reputation to be proud of -- not to mention your clothes are just as out-of-date as theirs are.”
The boys in the group all gave a low “ooh,” sniggering among themselves. 
“Well, fortunately, unlike you, I could care less about my reputation,” Carewyn spat. “And I’m frankly glad of it! Bill is a kind, hardworking person who always puts others first and puts his whole heart into everything he does! If his family’s reputation makes it so you can’t appreciate any of that, then I’d say you’re the one who needs to ‘make something of yourself’ -- ”
“Carey.”
Carewyn felt a hand coming down on her shoulder, almost holding her back. She looked up, to see Bill standing over her. His gaze was locked on Carewyn rather than Emily and his face was very scarlet, but his voice was low and forcibly level. 
“Don’t worry about it,” he mumbled. 
Carewyn looked at him with concern. “Bill...”
“It’s okay,” said Bill. He forced a thoroughly unconvincing smile. “Let’s just go.”
Carewyn stared at Bill for a long moment, feeling very reluctant to let the issue go. Her eyes then fell away, drifting away -- it seemed they’d acquired an audience, in the rest of the students scattered around the courtyard.
Bill would probably be even more embarrassed, if I escalated things further, she thought guiltily. 
Exhaling quietly, Carewyn shot one more very dirty look in Emily’s direction and walked off with Bill. As they walked off, some of Emily’s friends shouted taunts after them.
“‘Mother Duck’ Weasley strikes again!”
“Follow along after Mama, little duckling!”
Carewyn forced herself to keep walking and not turn around. She shot a furtive glance at Bill, and saw that he was doing the exact same thing, even with the ruby red flush in his cheeks and the slight shine to his eyes. 
Carewyn followed Bill out of the courtyard, down the hall, through the large double doors, and out onto the castle grounds. The eldest Weasley seemed to be walking with no destination in mind, his gaze endless and his steps aimless. Carewyn could practically feel the misery, shame, hurt, and embarrassment coming off of her friend, and it made her heart hurt. Her gaze fell to her feet as they walked side-by-side together. 
“...I guess...it was her, wasn’t it?”
Bill straightened up. He’d clearly forgotten for a moment that Carewyn was there. 
“Huh?” he said, before uncomfortably adding, “...W-who?”
“Who you were thinking about, whenever ‘Uptown Girl’ came on.”
Bill flushed a dark red. “What? No, I...what makes you...think there was anyone I was...?”
“Oh, come on, Bill,” said Carewyn with a pitying look. “Your eyes were always so bright, whenever side two started up. I thought...well, there had to be something special you were thinking about, when you heard that one. Even if it wasn’t a specific person...it just felt like that song was something that spoke to you, I guess...”
She offered him a weak, sad smile. 
“...It kind of reminded me of when I sing certain songs. Like even if the words are someone else’s, you can sing them like they’re all yours.”
Bill considered Carewyn for a minute. Then, his flush darkening further, he bowed his head. 
“...Yeah. I suppose that’s true.”
He gave a low sigh.
“...What did I do wrong, Carewyn?” he asked. “Did I come on too strong? Should I have sent her a note, or asked to meet her somewhere more private?”
Carewyn whirled on Bill with an incredulous look. “What? Bill, you didn’t do anything wrong!"
“Sure feels like it,” mumbled Bill. 
Carewyn stopped right in front of Bill, putting her hands on her hips and fixing him with a very reproachful look. 
“You listen to me, William Weasley,” she said fiercely. “I may not know anything about that snobbish twit -- ”
“Emily Tyler.”
“ -- I may not know much of anything about her, but I know you, and I know you deserve so much better than how she treated you. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do about her, there’s no excuse for how cruel she was to you...all clearly just to save face around those awful friends of hers...”
Bill blinked in surprise. “You reckon?”
“Yeah,” said Carewyn. “She kept glancing at her friends, the whole time. She rejected you that soundly because she thought they wouldn’t approve of you.”
Seeing the look on Bill’s face, she added, “But that shouldn’t matter, Bill! If Emily thinks impressing her friends is more important than being a decent human being, that’s her problem. And if her so-called ‘friends’ are the sort of people who look down their noses at good people like your family...well, clearly Emily Tyler’s a rotten judge of character.”
Bill looked a bit comforted by Carewyn’s words. He tried to smile again, but it still looked halfhearted at best. 
“Thanks, Carey,” he said lowly. “It’s just...well, she’s just so amazing. Talented and pretty and perfectly brilliant -- you should see her in Defense Against the Dark Arts, I reckon she’s on the NEWT level already. She even said she might like being a Cursebreaker, when she graduates -- travel everywhere, and become world-famous...”
Carewyn brought a hand onto Bill’s shoulder and gave it a supportive squeeze. It felt a little odd: he hadn’t really talked to anyone about his feelings for Emily, and just talking his feelings out, rather than listening to someone else’s...it was something he could only really ever remember doing with his parents, and only occasionally. It was weird, but it felt...nice.
“I just...didn’t think she’d react like that,” Bill admitted. “Not that I expected I’d sweep her off her feet or anything, but...I’d sort of hoped that she’d give me a chance, and that when we went out, we’d get on, and maybe even hit it off...”
He sighed heavily. 
“Guess I really don’t know much about love at all, do I?”
Carewyn frowned deeply. “That’s not true at all! You know plenty about love. You love your brothers and Ginny, and your parents...and you love your friends too!”
“That’s really not the same thing,” said Bill. 
“It should be,” huffed Carewyn. “Love is love. If you love someone, you care about their happiness more than your own. Sure, maybe when you marry someone, there’s a lot more kissing and you want to have kids together and stuff like that...but well, the important part is that caring, right? Without that, what does the rest of that stuff matter?”
Bill’s face softened slightly. 
“...I guess you’re right. And I guess...when I am looking for that person...I should find somebody who’ll care about my happiness just as much as I do theirs.”
Carewyn nodded with a smile. “Definitely.”
She took Bill’s hand.
“And maybe someday when your ship comes in,” she sang brightly, “she’ll understand what kind of guy you’ve been...”
Bill’s face flushed again, but this time it wasn’t out of embarrassment -- this time, it was accompanied by a bright, touched look in his brown eyes. 
“And then I’ll win,” he finished, in a much less trained, gravelly singing voice than Carewyn’s. 
Carewyn beamed. She walked on ahead, pulling lightly at Bill’s hand so as to coax him to walk next to her. 
“And when she knows what she wants from her tiiiiime~...”
Bill gave a laugh, but followed Carewyn’s lead, recalling the words by heart. 
“And when she wakes up and makes up her miiiiind~...”
Soon Carewyn and Bill were back toward the castle, swinging their linked hands idly back and forth as they sang the rest of the song together, getting louder and louder with each line. 
“She'll see I'm not so tough, Just because I'm in love with an uptown girl! You know, I've seen her in her uptown world -- She's getting tired of her high-class toys And all her presents from her uptown boys.... She's got a choice! Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!”
Before long, all the two thought of while singing that song was hanging out together and being silly, while not caring what anyone else thought. Not a single word of the song brought Emily Tyler back to Bill’s mind -- and in the years to come, Bill would continue to enjoy the song with no negative connotations whatsoever, instead only remembering when Carewyn and he sang it at the top of their lungs to make him feel better. And that moment did indeed signal a shift in the dynamic between Carewyn and Bill. For Carewyn, it made her feel like she was walking home with Jacob again -- like she had an older brother who she could look after, the way she used to for Jacob. And for Bill, it made him feel like he’d acquired a second younger sister -- one who emotionally supported him the same way he did his real siblings. 
One thing was for sure, though -- it was this moment, among many others to come, that cemented Bill and Carewyn as the very best of friends. 
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x~x~x~x
Tagging @the-al-chemist​ and @oneirataxia-girl​ for expressing interest in this prompt! 🤗
Carewyn’s dress is based on the design on the left 💗
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zirkkun · 4 years
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🤍ULR Speed Date Event Results - Part 3/5!💛
Metacrit got third place with 25 submissions! He was the hardest to select for, since he’s a lot more picky about the people he hangs around than the others are. There were only two I narrowed the options down two while reading them,
🤍 CozyCandle 💛 Corvus
But only one of them snagged a date of course. You can read who along with the story either under read more or on AO3!
🖤--✨--❤️
Undertale (c) Toby Fox Underlust by @/nsfwshamecave Underlust Reimagine by myself
Thank you for your support, but do remember to support and read Underlust (18+) if you can!
ulr masterpost || ulr main tag || ulr ask box || ulr comic beginning || kofi?
... the anon who submitted under the name Corvus!
🤍💛🤍💛🤍💛🤍💛
Metacrit still wasn't exactly used to the concept of being on the Surface, so seeing someone who proclaimed himself to be "not the going out sort of person" was a bit more enlightening to read. While the Surface was something new to experience, something new to let him become beyond what he used to be… the concept of forgetting your past and leaving everything behind was a lot more difficult than he anticipated.
Nevertheless, he wanted to try something different, at least. He already knew most of monsterkind, so why not try to find out more about humanity? Well, as it turned out, a lot of aspects he didn't like about monsterkind still bled over into humanity -- especially being overly flirtatious, apparently… but, luckily, there were some stray few who didn't like it, at least. Though, he wasn't really all that certain how much people would be willing to believe the trauma that came from even so much as a cheesy pickup line, regardless.
"Metacrit? You okay?"
His attention was brought back to the table in front of him, which was set up for an extremely casual "tea party" of sorts: a few light sandwiches and a pitcher of store-bought tea. The human had tried to insist that he should make some tea for the two of them, but, while Metacrit had no idea how to make it himself, really didn't want him to go through all the trouble of doing that, and settled on this instead. Which… was lackluster at best.
Metacrit's date sat diagonal to him. His eyes blinking with concern lacing his expression while he nervously anticipated Metacrit's response.
Metacrit merely smiled, releasing a soft sigh. "Yes, I'm fine. Sorry about that." He reached for and took a sip from the half-empty glass of tea in front of him. "What were we talking about again?"
The human frowned, but the concern seemed to be wiped from his face. "Uh… I don't really remember. Something about human and monster cultural differences? We went all over the place."
"That's true as well," Metacrit chuckled. He crossed one leg over the other in his seat as he set down his glass. "I seem to recall you saying you enjoyed things like art and enjoyed 'art museums'?"
Laughing slightly, the human responded, "Yeah, I like going to art museums, but like I've said before I don't really like going out very much. But it is nice to historical pieces and the varying amounts of art styles people use all over the world. Shows are also interesting -- like, plays, movies, stuff like that. Something where people are acting. They also vary by place to place and it's neat to see how the actors take their roles."
Metacrit's expression lit up the more the human described things, even though it may have just been the basics of art itself. He couldn't help but find it all fascinating, no matter how trivial it may seem. "The diversity of human culture never manages to not shock me. It's… just so much," Metacrit replied in amazement.
"Ahah, well… it's not exactly that great in a lot of cases. I think some aspects of monster culture are things we could learn from." The human took a sip of tea.
Metacrit, almost insulted, scoffed the moment he suggested that. "Excuse me? What aspect about monster culture could even be remotely better than humanity's?"
"Gender comes to mind first," he answered immediately. "Humans have an age-old binary system that makes it really difficult for anyone who doesn't fit either side to be accepted, making the whole situation really… complex, to put it in the lightest terms possible."
Well, Metacrit hadn't really considered this to be an aspect of human culture at all. The concept of only having one side or the other seemed… bizzare to him. While he tried to wrap his head around it for the sake of conversation, it wasn't working. What if someone can't choose? What happens? What if someone fits in the middle? Doesn't like either option? There's… two isn't enough choices for even monsterkind -- and humanity is much larger in population. He can't fathom the idea of being forced one way or the other.
"Though, maybe I'm speaking a bit too bluntly. I don't know exactly how things are seen in monster culture -- maybe there's something that still makes that situation non-ideal too."
The human's additional statement is what finally sparked something for Metacrit to continue talking about. Luckily -- luckily? -- for him, this was applicable.
"There is one aspect that doesn't quite fit the normal 'decide your gender when you're out of stripes' situation that most monsters have," he began. "Ghosts don't exactly work exactly the same as most other monsters. They're incorporeal, firstly, and they don't usually age either. They don't really have a time where ghosts are "in stripes." Some say that ghosts are made from fallen monsters' ashes… but I really don't want to think about that." He shook his head. "Point is, ghosts usually tend to go by 'they' or 'it' more than anything else. When they become corporeal by possessing something, that's when most ghosts choose something to identify themselves as, but not all change."
"Really?" the human asked. "I didn't realize there were subcultures for monsters too."
Metacrit half-nodded. "You could call it that, I suppose," he replied. He tossed back and forth the idea of telling the fact that he, himself, was once a ghost, but didn't want to dive down the rabbit hole of his past. Especially since, the reasoning behind becoming corporeal… his reason for his current body…
He tugged at his cyan jacket sleeve.
The reason that she…
It was the human accidentally dropping a sandwich, letting it fall apart entirely, that woke Metacrit back to reality this time. "... whoops," the human muttered, staring at the mess of various condiments and slices that were sprawled across the wooden table. There was a brief moment of awkward silence before Metacrit sliced through it with his own laughter.
He pushed back his seat as he started to stand up. "Don't worry about it. I'll get it," Metacrit replied.
"Wait -- I can clean it up, I'm the one who dropped the sandwich anyway --"
"Don't worry! You're my guest after all. Besides, everyone makes mistakes, I don't mind cleaning it up."
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popculturebuffet · 3 years
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Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together! or Days of Summer
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Hello all you happy scottaholics! Welcome back to those of you who’ve read the rest of this retrospective and welcome to those of you just joining us. This is the Scottrospective, my look at all 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim, the game and the movie. It’s all the video game refrenes, slice of life story telling and boob punches you can handle!
It’s been three months since I left off with “The Infinite Sadness” , and while I intended to cover this one for Valentine’s Day, my schedule got away from me and with March being full up, this ended taking till April
I”m not too put off by it though as the hiatus between these two reviews is fitting for this one both in story and out. In story there’s a couple month time skip between books, while out.. this book got delayed a few times.  
This is notable to me at least because this was the first volume of the series I bought when it came out. As i’ve brought up before I came into the series via the Free Comic Book Day Issue and the second and third volumes, picking one up later. I still have my original copies despite no longer really needing them thanks to having the color editions in general. Always will provided something dosne’t happen to them. So this was my first instalment that I got to read fresh and got to wait for and be hyped about and i’d saved enough money that I was able to pre-order it. So the experince of waiting and waiting for the book only to keep seeing it slide back is vivid in my mind as is the frustration I felt having the one thing I COULD NOT WAIT FOR, keep going further and further back. 
So with this long wait and the fact I bought this one when it came out, as I would for the next two which didn’t get delayed thank god, this volume naturally means a lot for me. When I wrote Scott Pilgrim fanfiction, this volume’s status quo is what I based it on. It was the coolest to me and the one I loved to reread the most. It has the most contained story, the most character growth at the time, and the best art due to Bryan’s style having finally hit it’s stride. Not that the art for volumes 1-3 is bad mind you, but it’s very clear his style was changing and shaping into what it is now with each one and while it’d change a bit more, this volume is where the style and quality everyone thinks of when they think of this series and the kind you see on various art done from it comes from. 
So as you can tell i’m excited for this one. Before we get started there WERE two shorter comics released between this one both for Free Comic Book day, the first of which, Free Scott Pilgrim, is the reason I got into the series and the second, the Wonderful World of Kim Pine .. was both delightful and sets up Kim moving in with Hollie for this volume. Originally I intended to cover these in this review.. but I realized they wouldn’t of helped the pacing and this review is going to be way longer than my standard as is.
So instead I came up with the compromise. I did review them.. but as bonus reviews on my patreon. For just one buck a month you can read them and help me reach my stretch goals which now include reviews of Lost at Sea, Seconds and SnotGirl, aka Bryan’s OTHER comics. You can find my patreon THROUGH THIS LINK HERE if your intrested in the exclusives or helping me reach my reviews. I also intend to do an exclusive of Monica Beetle, a short comic Bryan did starring Scott’s dad in the 70s at some point so keep your eyes peeled for that, as well as the three strips he did of Style, the comic that gave us the prototypes for Lisa and Kim. 
I will talk about their connections and setups for this volume briefly: FSP sets up the next ex as a ninja, with Roxy having a bunch of posters come to live and pummel our boy, while Wonderful World has Hollie tell Kim she can move in with her. It’s not much, hence why i made these exclusives but they are good stories, so check them out. And with that JOIN ME UNDER THE CUT, as we enter Scott’s world once more as he grapples with the past, employment, and saying the L-Word... which might be Lesbians. I don’t know. Find out bellow!
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So we open Two Months after Volume 3 with a beach birthday party! Complete with Kim in a swim suit!
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But it’s for Julie who lobs a volley ball at Scott’s head when he and Ramona try to make out. 
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I also dont’ know if “Manfiesting out of all the world’s collectives sorrows” counts as a “birth” necessarily but whatever. I love a good beach story. It’s just a fun setitng for swimming, romance and battling a giant crab with the help of the bird what lives in your backpack.
So after the beach our heroes get dinner and Ramona sweetly calls Scott the nicest guy she’s ever dated. He responds with “That’s sad”. Blunt, but entirely accruate. Julie calls it pathetic and tries to counter Ramona RIGHTFULLY saying “who the hell asked you?” something that really should come after EVERYTHING Julie said with “Back off bitch i’ts my birthday”
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So later that night Sex Bomb-Omb has a beach sing along, and I can’t help but notice Neil’s hairy legs. 
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I mean yes it does make since for a 19 year old to have leg hair, but of all the characters besides Stephen, the ONLY other character we’ve seen it with to give it to, why the character you specifically single out as “Young” it’s just a weird choice I never noticed before. 
But anyways Julie has to whine about it because she’s Julie, she can’t stand other people being happy and complains the song...
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One of my faviorite moments of the series. Knives puts a nicer spin on it, she’s here too and not over with Neil because, as we’ll find out later they broke up, but she just asks if Knives should be drinking. She shouldn’t but for fucks sake lady she was just trying to talk. I also do like that despite Julie trying to control Ramona’s love life, you know the thing the VILLIANS are doing, Ramona cannot stand her now.. and honestly probably never did. 
But Julie, SOMEHOW turns out to be right for once as Kim and Knives have disappeared later that night, and Scott elects to go look for them. Also Ramona says she wants to marry kim while drunk after Julie asks if she does. The throuple is strong with these three... serioulsy that’s my one true pairing for all three now. I mean it ballances out their collective flaws, it’s cute and Ramona is just as into her boyfriends ex as she is her actual boyfriend even when she’s not hamered. Why the fuck not?
Scott instead finds the two making out. I will confess I shipped these two when I was younger.. but I don’t. Not because their gay or anything or because I found another ship for them but because the age gap is still just as wide as it was for Scott. The game did not get this memo and made them a couple which is... ehhhhhhhhh. I mean I wouldn’t mind either being bi, but it just brings up the same problems even if their both hammered. I also question why this scene exists. No really outside of one face punchingly dickish comment from Scott later, this never comes up again and it doesn’t effect Kim’s or Knives character any. Why have this? it’s clearly not fanservice, it’s just a thing that happened. And while Scott Pilgrim as a series does have some of those, as does life and that’s fine.. this is a bit too major, i.e. Kim and Knives, two of the main cast, making out, drunkenly or not, to just.. gloss over you know? I feel Kim would feel majorly guilty for this, as she has the most active moral compass of the main group, and Knives would be massively confused but it’s just.. forgotten because I dunno. In a story that’s otherwise pretty stellar this stands out as an utter waste of potential. I’m not saying have them hook up, gay or not it’s still not better than what Scott did, but have them at least talk about it and have both grow or something from it. Sheesh. 
So we cut to.. another day. Maybe the next day I dunno but it’s August. Point is Scott and Wallace are grocery shopping and Wallace notes they can’t get fancy mayo as their barely in budget. I would’ve glossed over this scene... but @panur​ pointed out back around the Infinite Sadness review that this scene reveals something very intrestng: Scott.. is kind of a fincial burdern to Wallace. Before this while Scott mooched off him it wasn’t all that clear that Wallace was struggling. 
But here we notice that outside of some Havarti, it’s just the simplest stuff imaginable: turkey, bread, boxed mac and cheese ramen noodles... it’s nto BAD stuff, I have all of that in my house and it’s good stuff... but it’s not the kind of thing that you need to carefully budget for. Now granted part of this probably is Wallace as he likely spends a LOT on drinks, condoms and two 2 liters of diet soda a day.. but while he really needs to adress his alcohol issues, the rest is fair. He should be allowed to have as much sex and diet coke as he wants it’s his money. Same with the havarti. He earned it if he wants some really delcious cheese with herbs, seriously Havarati is the best, then that’s his bidness. But the rest of the time he’s barely managing to get  a basketfull of cheap food.. because he has to provide for Scott. It’s clearly something Scott dosen’t get and something I can relate to not getting. It took me a while to get how hard it is to budget for a full family, let alone two people on one income like Wallace has to. But Wallace is working on a nice job... but still a call center or something. He can’t pay for everything and the finccial stress is about to give as their landlord wants to meet with them. And as we’re about to learn things were even worse than we thought. 
Our heroes head home where we get a truly iconic conversation when, over margeritas (again proving my point that while Scott certainly isn’t HELPIGN wallace’s finacials, it’s not all on him)
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This will be imporant later.. both the Lesbians part and Scott’s struggle saying it. he tried earlier on the beach but couldn’t get it out and Ramona clearly didn’t want to hear it as she kapt sshhhhing him.. playfully of course but still. 
So some time later it’s moving day! Kim is moving into Hollie and Josephs, and Scott, Stephen and Jason are helping. You might be wondeirng who the hell Jason is. He’s Kim’s boyfriend. I do not likes him. Not because he’s kim’s boyfriend, getting upset because a fictional character you fancy is dating is just patently stupid. I’ts like getting upset a celebrity crush is in a relationship: you had no chance anyway why. I wasn’t even bothered as a kid. I don’t really like him.. because he has no real personaliy and no real baring on the plot and I struggle to think why Bryan included him other than for a really annoying plot twist next time, which does not help my liking him knowing what’s coming. 
But while our heroes help our heroine move in, and Scott is suprised Hollie is there despite Kim having told him a minute ago she was moving in with her, something I can relate to sadly, we get something vitally plot important; Stephen passes Joseph’s room.. and notices he has a small recording setup in his room. Stephen quickly begs him to record the band’s album and Joseph agrees if only because he finds Stephen hot. Eh i’ve seen better relationships start on less, fair enough. And yes I said relationship more on that in a bit. 
So after a brief scene of Scott and Ramona having lunch where Scott fails to know her age and when Ramona says he could just ask.. hea sks and she dosen’t tell, not a bad scene character wise just not very plot important and probably should’ve bene swapped in order with the previous scene, we get to the next day. There’s a heat wave so Wallace orders Scott to go to the mall maybe find a job. He emphasises that. 
Instead Scott just sorta bums around thirst but nto having any money.. until an old face shows up. 
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For those who forgot like Scott has, it’s Lisa Miller from the Volume 2 flashback, the girl who had a crush on Scott and was close friends with him and Kim. After a tackle hug  and some panic Scott eventually remembers.... if in a curiously unique and self serving way
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At the time this was just hilarous. Now it’s very clear foreshadowing for the big twist in Volume 6. The two catch up while Scott is very clearly attracted to her but very clearly dosen’t want to be, with Lisa wondering where kim is, finding about Ramona, etc, before offering Scott lunch as the two catch up and Scott is very conflicted about how he feels. It’s nice visual stuff as he’s blushing, something more clear in the color version and trying to desperatley sort things out. As for why Lisa’s here she’s moving to the states soon, but is staying with her sister for now. 
So after an incdental scene with Wallace we catch up with Knives, who has broken up with Neil. And after some talk about Clash at the Demonhead, Tamra notes Knives apparently put a big x on her shrine of Scott... which baffles Knifves as she sure as hell didn’t do it and is still, sadly, obessed with Scott as ever. Granted Tamra isn’t at all helpful here claiming she did it even when she says she didn’t, is clearly confused and while yes we don’t know who else would care Tams, that just makes it all the more creepy. Stop gaslighting your bestie, she’s already got enoguh issues. She dosen’t need thinking she might have a split personality on top of the stalking, obession over a guy who has no intrest in loving her back, and attempted stabbings. Knives dosesn’t get a ton of focus in this one sadly. She kind of takes a back seat, and while sh’es not GONE from the volumle and someone close to her does impact it, she dosen’t really have any personal progression, negative or positive, like she does in every other volume, a shame since her personal jouney is one of the most intresting of the main cast. 
Anyways that night Scott hangs out with Lisa, having not gotten around to telling Ramona she exists yet and plays a game of find the Kim Pine. She goes to Neil’ and Stephen’s place for practice, but finds no one there and Neil being a dick... get used to that it’s going to get about 80 times worse soon enough. Though we do get this classic panel i’ve gotten some use out of 
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He goes to Kim’s place, but she , Hollie and Satan’s Misterss have all left to Sneaky Dee’s, the local mexican place, for something to eat and Stephen is either high or doing.. something with Joseph. 
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Yeah i’m not hiding that Stephen turns out to be gay in the final volume or cheating on Bitch and a Half with Joseph. And even if I hate Julie with the power of a frozen sun, I still dont’ think cheating on her is kosher. He could’ve just broken up with her and while part of it was likely confusion, and he could also be bi and not decided which one he wanted to be with, it’s still a dick move.. and later makes him a hypocrite but that’s a rant for next volume. 
So our heroes FINALLY find Kim, along with Hollie and Mouthface. And a nice thing I like is that Kim and Lisa are just.. increidbly close, happily catching up and making plans to hang before Lisa leaves, that despite Lisa having feelings for Scott the two ended up as close and She and Scott did and i’ts sweet to see. it’s also just.. rare to see Kim GENUINELY happy. I mean look at her
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It’s not like she HASN’T smiled across the series but normally she’s just so miserable, likely because her best friends are a grumbly asshole who forces them to hang out with a raging typhoon of bitchiness, and an insenitive asshat who she never got closure with. This is the first decent human being whose not Ramona or Hollie, and that last one’s not going to last, in a while. It’s genuinely sweet to just see her.. enjoy the moment for once, honestly engaged with someone. Ramona shows up and finally meets Lisa, who apparently was on Degrassi.. I mean she says candaian show no one ever watched, and I watched that plenty but i’d like to think she was on there for a season or two. I liked Degrassi.. I honeslty miss it and think it could use some form of revivial and think porting it to netflix was a smart decision.. what wasn’t so smart was not having the other seasons leading into it on there. Need to watch more of it. 
So the next day Ramona stumbles into Scott’s dreams and both are annoyed, with Ramona suggesting he get a job. This finally gets him to try. He asks about Wallace’s work but understandably, he dosen’t really want scott there and asks if he even knows. So Scott sets out to ask his other friends for jobs, while Knives shows up saying she’s “totally not stalking him” but someone is following HER, a mysterious spiky haired dude in a black leather jacket, shades and with a sword on his back. Whu-oh. 
He tries Second Cup, with Julie annoyed that Stephen’s recording.. it’s hard to tell if she’s annoyed because she’s a bitch or because Stephen is both gneuinely annoying right now and clearly screwing around behind her back. My take?
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But Scott realizes maybe getting a job at his Sister’s place of work who also works with his arch enemy might be stupid and backs out. He next tries Kim’s, but backs out of that too, admitting to kim it’d be stupid and Kim lists off all the reasons (His lack of resume, the fact them working together would be stresful and his ountain of late fees) why that’d be stupid, but in a jovial way. For once i’ts clear that while she’s still taking the piss out of them she isn’t mad at Scott.
In fact she genuinely helps him get a job, taking him to Stephen’s work since hers is dead right now anyway, a vegan place.  While Scott naturally compares things to a job system as he’d start as dishwasher while Stephen taught him prep, Scott agrees to genuinely take this seriously and Stephen’s boss decides “eh why not” when he asks her to employ him. Scott is gainfully employed baby! God I miss that. Seriously i’m not pimping my patreon for shits and giggles. 
But as he celebrates and Kim wishes she could punch his life in the face, they run into some trouble on the way home: Katana man who slices a motherfucking bus in half and chases them, with Scott reluctnat to fight because he has a sword and Scott does not, which is valid. He does escape though using subspace. He and Kim part awkardly and he returns home to Wallace throwing a party with two intresting charcters, a woman and a man of color, one of the few in the entire work, who are never seen again. 
The next night is practice.. or rather recording, and we start to see Neil get edged out, with him unable to come due to exams and clearly not happy about it, and Stephen just kind of ignoring anything he cares about like the dickhead he is. It dosen’t get any better as “recording” ends up just being Scott, Ramona, and Ratfaced Knacker watching bored with Joseph and Stephen work. Eventaully Scott and Ramona decide to get out of there as things are getting tensed between thing one and thing bitch, and leave.. and take Julie with them for some reason. 
So the three have dinner with Lisa, Kim, and Jason before The Mummies Curse thankfully leaves. Jason thought they were friends. 
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We also get this exchange. 
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I mean.. she is the better option. She his THE option. But before we can get the obvious answer of 
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Stephen comes in with Knives. He smuggled her in. This leads to problems when Scott returns from the bathroom to find Queen Bitch throwing a bitch fit about him having brought her and screechs at her when she dares to talk to him “How do you even know my name?” Well Ted Cruz, you see when someone is an actually thoughtful and likes other people, they keep track of things about them and don’t constnatly tear them down or assume their partneer is automatically bonking a 17 year old instead of you know, actually forming something of a friendship and not shutting her out sensing she needs this friend group. Some people are not vacous piles of vitriol who care about nothing but themself and seem to go off at the slightest thing. 
Scott takes Ramona home but finds a drunken barely awake wallace so no sexy times. Not that he could anyway as the next day is the meeting with Peter their landlord. 
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Peter reveals they’ll have to clear out by the 27th as their lease was for one year and their paid up.. as in only the first and last month. The two part melacholy knowing this sucks and isn’t a great situation. Then it’s time for Scott to work work, angelica, work work, eliza and peggy. After grueling day, can relate, he runs into  a wisp on teh wend and steels himself for a fight.. okay he bitches about it being too hot but it’s Scott. so it’s expected. He does get a hit in on his mysterious persuer.. and that’s when we meet Roxy.
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Via boob punch, something Scott’s not proud of but in his defense, as Roxy keeps complaning about it, he was blindly struggling for a hit and din’t know the next Ex, or any of them, were female.. not that Ramona didn’t suggest it loudly enough by empahsising “exes” but scott’s a bit of a fuckwit. She mentions “everyone allways remmebers you”.. which is kind of ominus and tells me she tried to hook back up with ramona despite her having a boyfriend and she rejected her. Still on good terms though. But this confusing encounter ends with Roxy vowing she’ll get him next time gadget, next time. 
So we get some assorted slice of life scenes with the band, lisa and what have you as Scott tries to get in touch with Ramona but she keeps avoiding him. THat’s not worrysome at all. And Lisa brings up high school while drunk and clearly hits on Scott. He sidesteps it with her drunkness.. but this clearly isn’t over or going to stop being a problem. 
Speaking of problems Wallace makes Scott confront the truth: He either needs to find a new place to live or commit to staying, though Wallace is trying to nudge him toward asking Ramona to move into her place. Scott starts thinking it over, it being very hard especially since, as Stephen points out this was his very first place of his own.. but Stephen also points out these things are temoporary.. right before Scott ducks from katana guy. 
At work Scott wonders who it could be, though it turns out Stephen’s met him before, as he’s brought his family in here. So he’s PROBABLY not one of the exes.. but it leaves the question why he wants to cut Scott in half like Dewey Cox’s brother. But it turns out he’s nto the only enemy Scott’s casually running into as Roxy is there too.. with Ramona. 
The two talk, clearly about Scott and Lisa with Roxy trying to convince her he’s cheating and Ramona rightfully trusting Scott: while he IS attracted to her, he’s been fighting it every step of the way. Scott storms over to find out what’s going on and while Ramona is more distracted by his new job, she eventually realizes Roxy did attack him and he simply dscribed her poorly when he mentioned the incident over the phone. Scott is confused as he dosen’t get it. Is she with one of the exes what? After some hiinting from both parties, and Roxy rightfully mocking him for not getting the obvious... he finallyg ets it in the grandest way possible. 
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So Roxy gets ready to fight and Scott can’t because sword, and gets fired in the background as he hides in Ramona’s bag and Ramona prepares to step in. Roxy screams at her for trusting him and defending him when Ramona.. just dosen’t her boyfriend to be bisected by her ex. A fight insues and a damn cool one at that. I honestly wish the movie had taken more from this, but simply didn’t have time leading it to instead be more like the envy fight with a bit of the Winfried Hailey fight from Free Scott Pilgrim. 
Roxy chases her and Ramona rightly points out Scott can’t run forever but takes him into Subspace.. where Roxy heads them off, having “taught you everything you know bitch” leading to a cool fight in the wintery version of subspace. Again why THIS wasn’t used instead I have no real idea. We also find out she’s a half ninja but she eventually leaves afer Ramona presses that button.. but Rammy is actually apologetic about it and Roxy’s “I hope you and your 24 children are happy together comment” is telling. 
Upon this readthrough of the volume.. I realized Roxy is the most layered and intresting of the exes next to Gideon himself. None of them are out and out terrible, but most of them have pretty simple motives: to kill Scott, ???, profit. Or in Todd’s case to kill scott, bang around and be a dick. But Roxy.. genuinely wants Ramona back. She’s the ONLY one who does: Gideon kinda does, but only in the sense that he wants her for his collection. But Roxy geninely still loves her, admitting so during this fight. And it’s not like she has no chance: out of the 7 exes she’s the ONLY one who parted with Ramona on anything resembling good terms. While intrestingly we don’t find out WHY they broke up, Ramona didn’t cheat on her like she did everyone else she was with. The two have coffee and hang out and Ramona geninely dosen’t even consider until Roxy tries to attack Scott that she’d really try killing him and tries her best to talk her out of it. But what holds Roxy back is her anger: She’s so bitter about the fact Ramona is bi or pan, so dedicated to viewing Ramona’s very orintation as a betryal (though Ramona calling it a phase dosen’t help and the movie RIGHTLY has Roxie comment on it and fly into a rage over it), and so driven to make sure the woman she loves dosen’t get hurt again that it blinds her to the fact Ramona dosen’t love her the same way anymore, and that while Scott is objectively a dick, and a cheater, and a greasy buttcrack pooflap, he is not a terrible person. A meh one sure, but he’s got good to him. She’s so biophobic she simply can’t see he’s a harmless moron.. well harmless to Ramona even with the cheating. He’s killed two people at this point and will kill again. Also she apparently has issues with only being a half ninja but this is never adressed. Point is Roxy’s really grown on me and is now probably my faviorite ex.  
Scott and Ramona talk it over on their way to Sneaky Dees and Scott finally asks to move in and gets a yes. His response is downright adorable. 
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So at Sneaky Dee’s Young Neil is just a bit absolutely irate with Scott.. which isn’t fair as them not playing things is entirely on the blocky face asshole. Yell at him.. which he does, pointing out that they haven’t played shows in forever, and that the lady who owns Sneaky Dees not only runs shows, in the upstairs space, but has been asking them to play. Kim is rightly curious about this and to both Stephen just keeps saying “We’re recording right now.” And some of you may of wondered why I hate him. Well while he’s not exctly stellar in the first half in the second Stephen becomes goddman insufferable, slowly destroying the band for his affair and not giving one iota of a shit what anyone else wants. He’s a selfish, egomanical cheating prick. And yes I get it their recording an album.. but doing live shows would give them extra practice, MONEY, even if likely not a lot and exposure for said album. I get professoinal bands stop touring for a bit to do an album but you are not a professional band, and said bands still often iron out the album on the road. God you suck.
But while Scott sidesteps this argument he walks into another where Ramona confronts him about lisa about liking her.. and he rightly says if there was anything, which there was not it’s in the past. And while yes he is a cheater, she does not know this yet. This plot honestly would’ve worked better if she learned about the knives thing sooner, but instead she just comes off as paranoid for listening to Roxy about something that isn’t happening. Yes Scott’s been shown to be attracted to her.. but he’s been ashamed of it, fighting it and in denial about it, and is clealry all in with Ramona. Being attracted to someone else on a phsyical level does NOT mean your relationship is doomed. 
Things get worse as he goes home to ruminate.. and instead sees a man’s Penis. And Wallace..is at his second most unsymapthetic, not letting Scott get a shirt or a bus pass or something like a decent human being for no goddamn reason. Usually when Wallace is a dick to Scott, Scott’s earned it and badly needs a slap in the face. Here he’s just being a prick because.. the plot needs him to? I dunno it dosen’t work for me. It’s in character, I just don’t have to like it. 
So with no other options.. Scott ends up at Lisa’s. And so we get the last temptation of Scott. Lisa admits, embarassed that she’s been wearing sexy dresses and what not specifically to attract him, with Scott also mentioning how things are rough, Lisa tries to fight it herself pointing out he’s with ramona.. and when Scott points out they didn’t do anything in the past Lisa points out they should’ve.. and maybe they should now. 
We fade to black as Scott ends up in a dream and finds Roxy, who naturally has the same skill and tries to Freddy Kruger him before he wakes. He finds Lisa but they didn’t do anything: Scott pushed her away and babbled about how much he loved Ramona instead. As i’ve said.... his heart was never with LIsa... and even when he was so close to giving in he couldn’t. It’s a tangible sign of growth: He screwed around on Knives with Ramona, and given how bad things were getting with Ramona, it would be oh so easy to once again ditch a relationship the minute he found something else and oh so understandable. But... he dosen’t. He loves Ramona even if he hasn’t said it, he wants to make this work, and he’s changed. She’s changed him. He’s not quite a good man yet.. bu he’s getting to be good enough. Love turned him from a skeezy dumbass into a far more loveable dumbass. Ramona’s gotten him to stop dating a teenager (even if again he cheated), face his past with envy to finally move on and now get a job. He’s realized just hwo much she means to his life and world and so he goes to tell her. 
Riggghtttt after going to get his job back and works a shift, with steven wanting to punch his life in the balls. Stephen shut the fuck up. Just because Scott is lucky and your stuck dating satan’s scrotum does not mean you get to punch his life int he balls. Kim does, because he’s put her through more shit but not you. 
He goes to second cup to talk to Stacey.. only to end up at the wrong one where Knives also now has a job... and we finally get an answer to who the mystery katana guy is...
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Yup turns out wielding giant weapons in vengance runs in the family. As for how he knows about Scott her aunt mentioned her boyfriend, everyone freaked out and obviously while her mom was mentioned as knowing in volume 1, they did not tell her dad whose brain turned into an engine of vengance and defaced the shrine. While part of it is apparnetly racisim for Scott being white the fact is he clearly saw Scott’s photograph. The guy is 5 years older. I get him being protective. Still dosen’t justify cutting off his head. His balls maybe but not his head. 
And then Scott ran, once agian finding a subspace entracne.. and this time we see inside ramona’s head and well...
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Yeah.. that’s.. kind of fucked, and Ramona isn’t happy scott saw that, though she backs down once Scott explains..a nd then gets upset over him staying at Lisa’s but before SCott can tell her he loves her it turns out Roxy stayed over. So yeah, Ramona might of cheated, she tells him to alk it off and he runs around in a psycadelic haze of emtoinal confusion. And meets.. someone new...
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Scott snaps out of his funk and ignores his doppleganger heading back for Ramona... whose fighting Mr. Chau. Scott left the door to Ramona’s head open and he followed him through Subspace. Scott lures him into the house and away from her only to run into Roxy. This leads to both of his attackers fighting and her wondering if Gideons ent him “Why does no one ever belivie in me?!” 
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She soon realize no i’ts just unrelated and calls Scotto ut on hiding behind not having a sword and behind her being a woman, caling it a flimsy excuse. I mean she’s tring to kil lhim. It’s okay to hit an enemy combatant. Scott realizes he has to stop running... and get real with ramona leading to a truly epic, romantic and heartfelt speech and given how far he’s come and just how heartfelt it is it’s a real sign of how deep he feels. Sure we’ve seen genuine chemstiry between the two.. but htis moment is a shit.. from a simple relationship.. into true love. 
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I may of only had a few but Relationships are not easy, They take work, they take time, they take patience and theyt ake love.. but if your willing to work with someone, look past some flaws and help them with the rest.. then it’s worth it. And Scott has finally realized it and for the first time in a while is running TOWARDS something difficult, actually working on this relationship and talking with his partner instead of running finding someone else or wallowing. He’s truly grown up. While he still has miles to go.. he’s taken about 50 steps forward with this. And as such given the kind of unvierse we’re in, as Ramona is genuinely touched by it he levels up a glowing sword with a heart shaped hilt coming out of his chest.. and realizing what’s happening he pulls it out....
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So Scott faces off with roxy and in an awesomly short battle, their sords clash.. and he bisects her. 
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Scott then honestly talks down Mr Chau who leaves after a nod, and Ramona tells Scott she loves him two. The two make out and all is well.
One make out fades into another, as we cut to Scott moving in with Kim and Blockhead’s help. Well kinda they only had one box but they owed him one. He and wallace comiserate over the end of their time as roomies. They’ll always be friend but it’s truly the end of an era. Also Wallace gets off another bit of dickery as he’’s very glad it all worked out for scott...
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 Now there’s the Wallace I know and love. Dickish but just the right loveable kind of douchebag with that swagger. 
Back at Knives house she’s apparenlty into somebody though who I have no idea, Mr Chau give sher his blessing and she.. apparenlty doesen’t know chinese. I dunno. As I said her subplot this go round was her weakest overall. 
And so we end with the whole gang gathered to see Lisa off. It’s a REALLY nice shot, and one of the only times Wallace is seen with the Sex Bomb omb side of the group. Oh sure he goes to their shows and what not, but generally their never in the same vincinity so while there’s no interaction I still find this neat. Seriously the whole main cast is there, it’s a really lovely shot
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Also Jason and Hollie.. who are getting awfully chummy. Whu Oh. And of course Craphole and Mouth Face are as likeable as ever. 
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So we jsut get a genuinely nice sene. Except Stephen and Julie reconciling. Fuck that. Please move on. And as everyone fondly wishes Lisa adeu and wish she stuck arond the res tof the series we end on Scott and Ramona snuggling, Scott asking her her birthday and finding out she’s 24, and they both will be come september. Scott wishes this moment could last. 
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They probperly snuggle as the volume ends on a high. 
Final Thoughts:
Yeah.. Gets it Together is, on rexamination, DEFINTELY my faviorite of the 6. Besides personal value i’ts hte best contained story, contaning lots of character development, great character moments, jokes, and EASILY the best art so far, with goregouness and creativty abounding. 
There is a problem here or there: Stephen and Julie’s subplot feels underbaked, and not just because I hates them, and there are several scenes that don’t further plot or character stuff. Ther’es also stuff that could’ve been expanded on.. but given this is still a pretty meaty graphic novel, it’s understandable why it wasn’t.. though it is why I’d love a streaming series since while the movie is excellent, a full series could expand on stuff from the books more Brian simply didn’t have time for. Knives also didn’t get a lot to do. 
But their drowned out by tons of great decisions: Lisa was a wonderful additoin to the cast and I genuinely wish she’d stuck around, adding in some energy, blending well with the Sex Bomb Omb crowd, and having great dynamics with everyone and her arc with Scott is heartbreaking,knowing she can’t have him but wanting him anyway having never gottne proper closure on the man she’s always wanted. She’s a heartbreaking character and its nice to see her end in a decent place and on good terms with Scott, having let him go for both thier sakes. 
And while Lisa is a highlight everyone is on their a game here for the most part apart from knives, girl hitler, and captain dumbass: Scott grows signfigantly but is funny as hell, Wallace has an intresting arc trying to nudge Scott out without being overt about it, scared to really confront him, Kim is in a happy and serene place for once and it shows. The villians are also intresting: While Mr Chau is a tad underbaked, he’s sitll a cool imposing presence. I do think he shoudl’ve had more to do with the plot.. but is still just so freaking cool it papers over that and him just.. disappearing after this like poor Lisa. 
Roxy is far more intresting, having clearly more going on than we see and while I wish we’d got her backstory, she’s easily the most engaging of the exes, being the only one to actively compete with Scott (All her and ramona end up doing is making out a little it turned out), and have bigger stakes than just “The glasses wearing douche asked me to beat up my exes boyfriend and I was like alright. 
All in all Gets it Together is really magical, the series high point, and just damn fun and it was a pleasure to go through
Next Month on Scott Pilgrim: It all falls down as we take a look into what once was my least faviorite Album, vs the unvierse. Two perfect assholes try and murder scott with Robutts, his relationship and band crumble and things get sad so very very sad. 
Next on this blog: More LIlo and Stitch! The Proud Family come to Kauai and get into a fight with our heroes. Also wizard kelly... who if nothing else is now far more tolerable now i’ve had to spend another volume with the wicked bitch of the west. Touche universe touche. See you at the next rainbow. 
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