#i used to despise it so much and sometimes i still have those moments ofc but im mostly happy w it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diamondcitydarlin · 1 year

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far be it from me to interrupt the unnecessary character hate train some folks in this fandom insist on having but I have to say, what seemed a little unnecessary but still somewhat understandable from a separate POV in season 1 just doesn't make any sense now- that is, of course, a time-honored fandom pasttime of trying to force a character into the role of villain against the actual narrative. it's nothing new ofc I've seen it happen in just about every fandom I've been in and I've learned that there usually isn't a point in trying to debate with people that have made up their minds this way and with the way I've tagged this I'm probably just preaching to the choir but like...it seems to me this whole season is ALL about being flawed, the ways in which every character in the cast (beloved or otherwise) has flaws and issues that have hurt others, but most significant, the ways in which a person can grow and learn and mend and still deserve to be loved despite everything. this isn't really a story where you can pick out the 'good ones' with completely clean moral slates from those you've decided are irredeemable unless you're choosing to ignore the actual themes being presented (which like, fine, but that's a choice of interpretation that goes directly against what's actually there). Everyone has been victim of someone else. Everyone at this point has inflicted some kind of hurt on someone else. Stede hurt Ed, Ed hurt Stede, Ed hurts Izzy, Izzy hurt Ed, Ed hurt Lucius, Lucius hurt Black Pete and so on and so on and so on. There's really no one here who is just a completely blameless uwu victim and that's actually a good thing because most of us just fucking aren't either, as much as we may want to believe that or think of ourselves as morally superior to others bc of fictional characters we like or don't or whatever, as much as we may be caught up in our own victimhood (which I absolutely get I've found myself there many times too) we're all flawed, we've all hurt people, there's no getting through life without doing it at some point. it's not really about having or trying to manufacture the image of a clean moral slate, it's about learning and growing and trying to do better the next day and accepting those flaws with a gentle grace. the sooner some of yall wrap your minds around that truth the better off you're going to be, and maybe a good start is learning from these flawed, imperfect, sometimes hurtful characters that we've grown to love because we see ourselves in their actions.

some poignant takeaways from the last couple of eps I think are 1) when Fang suggests to Ed he should try sitting with himself for a bit instead of trying to talk through and shallowly justify everything. I think everyone can benefit from doing this, as so often we think of things from an external perspective rather than internal. It can be hard to introspect rather than blame the world or others and construct little superficial rituals that make us feel momentarily superior (like, idk, deciding one character in a show is the 'bad guy' and anyone who likes him is bad but not you you're not bad bc you don't like him so you must be a better person even though this involves you picking fights and harassing people trying to enjoy themselves, idk, just a random example). It's so much harder to ask yourself why you feel a certain way in the first place, to ask yourself if it's possible that you see aspects of yourself in a character you despise that you're not willing to face within, things about yourself you've buried deep and pretend don't exist at the cost of being 'morally superior'. It's possible, isn't it? Would it hurt to be still for a moment and think about that? I mean, maybe it would, quite possibly it would hurt a lot at first, but I think it's worth it in the end, far more than the effort to put up a morally superior front that no one even has.

the other one that I think the people I'm actually addressing won't appreciate because of who it involves- when Izzy gives Lucius the carved shark and explains that not moving on is worse than doing what is necessary to actually move on. Not necessarily advocating for lying to oneself (tho if I were a more reckless person I might say this can be a genuine bandaid tactic when you're in survival mode and just need to get to the next day, I get that too) but I do think there's a good point here about learning to let go of the things that only gnaw away at us inside. holding on to anger and spite can feel like a form of justice in the short term, but over time it only corrodes the host. at some point, at some time, to truly heal we have to figure out how to let go of certain things, if only so it won't poison us further. Lucius threw Ed overboard the same way he did to him, but ultimately it didn't help, did it? What changed was seeing the way his obsession with his hatred hurt the man he loved, what changed was introspection.

So, idk, really good show, very educational and emotionally aware and I think some of us could benefit from paying more attention to what's actually there than what we want to believe. Idk, it's a thought.

#ofmd #the izcourse #i had thoughts #this season is really speaking to my personal journey as well #so idk will this help someone? will it give them a brainworm to think about for awhile? maybe #ofmd spoilers

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lunaastoir · 3 years

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fluff/relationships w the mondstadt crew

characters included: diluc, kaeya, and jean

gn! reader as always <3

tw: fluff??? domesticity??? crack??? ideal relationships w people who will never be real??? also mentions of alcohol!

an: so i’m back w a sequel to my “fluff/relationships w the liyue crew” since you guys seemed to really like it <3 thank you my heart is literally melting 😩 this post was getting too long so i excluded some of the characters but expect a part. 2 (more like part 3 but part 2 to the mondstadt version)!

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diluc

man. this MAN.

that’s it, that’s the headcanon.

he would literally be the most doting lover in the softest ways

SUCH a soft romantic like you thought you knew love??? nah this man will show you what love is

will constantly leave you things around the winery to convey his silent thank you’s and appreciation for you putting up with him being busy for most of the day

it’s always the most thoughtful things ever too like-

you mentioned how nice it would be to have some fresh lemonade with the hotter weather outside but it was too late in the day to actually go to the market in search of fresh lemons

the next day you walked downstairs only to be greeted with a pitcher of cool lemonade with a side of lemon bars

there was a note attached to the handle of the pitcher <3

“i recall you mentioning how lemonade would be perfect for the warmer weather so i decided to make some for you this morning. i hope it’s still cool by the time you drink it. love, d”

pls sir your hand in marriage

he secretly loves it when you usher him to bed after waking up in the dead of night to see him working by candlelight on reports

soft hands on his cheeks gently whispering about how, it’s been far too long and come to bed, darling and there will be time for this in the morning

his protests are light given the dark purple hues under his crimson eyes but he’ll still make a little fuss

don’t let this man fool you tho he’s so so touched that you care enough to check up on him and drag him to bed!!

sometimes on the days he has a bit more free time, the two of you will quickly grab your dinners and race to the highest spot in the winery to watch the setting sun

these moments are always filled with laughter, something you’ve found you’re easily able to pull out of diluc, simply because it’s you

uncontrollable sobbing

he would let you paint his nails black like the angsty man he is

frankly he would let you do anything to him if it makes you happy <3

ok but wait diluc w bLACK NAILS?? AND RINGS??? i would die on the spot ⚰️

on the topic of makeup, this man is surprisingly really good w it

i like to think he learned after practicing on kaeya when they were younger bc kaeya was really into makeup

you found out after babysitting klee one day and trying failing to draw eyeliner on the sweet girl after her “big brother ‘bedo!”

you hastily grabbed some wipes, gently wiping off the messed up design before attempting to dive back in

diluc however, had some down time so he decided to check up on his favorite chaotic duo

only to be met with a pile of dirtied makeup wipes, your frustrated expression, and klee’s growing jitteriness

swiftly moving to your side, he quietly asked if you needed help

you glanced up quizzically before handing him the eyeliner, already looking around to find more makeup wipes when this inevitably goes wrong

to your utter surprise tho the eyeliner is perfect??? two perfect winged lines??? in less than a minute??? WHAT

you just stood there like 😦 before diluc got back up and handed you the eyeliner

you were short-circuiting, klee was ecstatic, diluc was worried about you

ok last thing abt diluc

crack! warning but the both of you like lowkey pranking kaeya

for diluc it’s revenge on his annoying brother; for you it’s good - natured sibling rivalry fun

every time the two of you see kaeya, one of you always swipes something of his

small things really, it could be a pen or a handkerchief

one time, diluc swiped kaeya’s spare eyepatch and from the looks of it, kaeya’s only spare black eyepatch bc he was frantically looking for it yk he’s desperate when he even asked diluc if he saw it

the two of you spent an hour nearly laughing your asses off

all in all, life w him is so sweet

kaeya

pretty boy? pretty boy.

while i can’t guarantee stability, life would never be boring w this man that’s for sure

piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides

he LOVES it, the feel of you on his back while he’s walking around mondstadt most likely carrying you to your commission

he finds it comforting especially since he can hear the rumble of your voice against him while you recount stories, or just babble on about everything under the sun

he is SO dramatic so obviously when y’all reach the site of the commission he has to kill all the monsters even tho the both of you agreed to split it up evenly

he makes quick work of his set before stealing some of yours much to your chagrin

you scold him but can you really be mad at him when he looks drop dead gorgeous freezing the hilichurls the answer is no, no you cannot be

oh my god ok wait-

he does this thing where he tries to spook you in public

so say you’re getting groceries at the mondstadt general store

you round the corner just minding your own business, looking around, taking in the sunshine

and suddenly you just hear someone drop in behind you but before you can register anything you hear a soft “boo” and hands circle your waist

you jump SIKE let’s be honest you shrieked

meanwhile kaeya’s just laughing his ass off

you can hear his rich peals of laughter while you attempt to regain your bearings

he does this so often you SHOULD be used to it but you really aren’t bc mans is SNEAKY-

he cards his fingers in your hair whenever you’re speaking

he doesn’t know why, it’s just a cute habit and he finds the feel of his fingers in your hair soothing

oH on the topic of comfort, kaeya really likes resting two fingers on the back of your neck???

ik he seems like the type to throw his arm around your shoulder which yes he totally is but during more serious conversations his hand automatically seeks out the warmth of your neck

your neck feels amazing especially during the warmer months due to his chilly fingers contrasting with your warm skin

he likes that he’s able to access such a vulnerable part of you and you would willingly let him

HE GETS YOU MATCHING OUTFITS

no i will NOT take criticism on this i just kNOW he’s that type of guy

it would be those stupid “i’m his” and “they’re mine” sweatshirts like BYE

it’s so cringy but for some reason it’s oddly adorable and you truly despise it but you can’t seem to say no whenever he asks

you pretend to ignore the look of pity diluc throws your way whenever he sees you like this

kaeya really loves accessories so i think he would be the type to give you a promise ring or something similar to show that he truly does care for you

he would brush it off, flirting a little like usual before handing you the ring

with the way his cheeks softly darken though, you know he’s being genuine

TICKLE FIGHTS ik i mentioned this for childe but shhhh

he has tickle fingers??? his hands just loOK like they’re itching to tickle someone so you’ll most likely be the unfortunate victim

he will not show you mercy. at all. he’ll tickle you until there are tears streaming from your eyes, your face is hot, and your voice is hoarse from laughing so damn hard

it gives him such a rush of serotonin its SO CUTE

i feel like this goes without saying but he’s super into pda,,, anything and everything is on the table

hand holding? duh. ass grabs? ofc. carrying you bridal style around mondstadt? why not

ik he’s typically very playful but once the relationship reaches a certain stage, he’ll slowly start to let down the walls that surround his facade

very very slowly show you the more realistic parts of him

the real, damaged pieces of his soul

he’ll be carefully monitoring your reaction though, any sign of fear or disgust will have him recoiling within himself again and you most likely will never see his true nature ever again

SO BE CAREFUL 👹

once you’ve seen the parts of him he’s offered to you, the hushed whispers of his past, and the uncertain lines of his future, he will take off his eyepatch

pretends like he’s not super nervous but he’s SWEATING-

the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen though hands down

you can understand why he covers it up but you would like it if he felt comfortable enough to take off the eyepatch occasionally when he’s with you

also!!! sleeps with his eyepatch side facing you (in the event he wears it to bed)

if this happens you KNOW he trusts you bc it’s his blindside <3

anyways life w kaeya will never be boring but he is a very complicated man

stay with him though, i promise it’ll be worth it

jean

the key to jean’s heart is coffee and food

GET HER COFFEE AND FOOD

i am begging you she deserves it 😭

the poor woman works so hard bc the knights are so mf understaffed, this is literally the best way you can ever show her your love and appreciation when she has work

she will MELT if you have a hot shower and dinner waiting for her when she inevitably returns later than she promised

will completely refuse at first with, “you did not have to do this, it’s too much” but shush her as you shOULD bc she deserves the entire world

she’s the definition of “you do something for me, i’ll return the favor ten times grander”

you leave a flower on her desk bc it reminded you of her??? you’ll wake up to find a whole bouquet of the prettiest windwheel asters you’ve ever seen the next morning along with a thank you note

she’s so sweet BYE

she gets flustered extremely easily so you obviously use this as an opportunity to tease her

when you’re in public rest your hand on her waist and inch it higher until your hand is underneath her shirt and in contact with her warm skin

she’ll actually short-circuit its quite adorable

sometimes y’all will be cuddling and you’ll hear whispers of her insecurities

“am i a good grand master? will i ever be as valiant as vanessa?”

reassure her!!! tell her that she doesn’t need to be like vanessa, she’s already amazing as jean

if you haven’t seen her in awhile, track her down and schedule a lunch date

she never misses appointments and if it’s for you, she’ll gladly make time to see you even if she has to stay up even later than usual

OH-

GIVE HER MASSAGES

she has so much tension and the sorest muscles from hunching over papers and running around on errands

if you sneak into her office and quietly stand behind her before gently pushing down on the sore tendons of her neck, she’ll genuinely fall over on her desk

so make sure you steady her 😀

after you feel how tight her muscles are though, you drag her to barbara bc she needs a healer asap 😭

while most of your time is spent in her office - you helping out in the ways you can while jean is overseeing knight duties - you still have your fair share of life outside of the favonius headquarters

jean never likes to sit still so whenever you have free time, the both of you head off looking for monsters to clear

bouken da bouken???

adventuring w jean is seriously the funnest thing you could ever do

it’s just non-stop you accidentally getting into trouble and her having to come help you

even tho the both of you are dead tired after fighting, what? 20 hilichurl camps now??? the laughter and joy in your eyes shows how you both truly loved every minute of it

it’s both a stress reliever, good fun, and a work-out <3

you’re definitely prone to getting dragged to angel’s share w kaeya

kaeya and jean sometimes hang out after work at the tavern so inevitably you’re dragged along too

all three of you are drunk out of your minds which just makes everything a MILLION times funnier

kaeya slurring over his words makes the two of you start cackling endlessly while diluc just shakes his head making sure to not give you more wine despite your pleas

angel’s share ft. kaeya and bartender diluc are always the best times fr fr

life with her literally feels like y’all are married

so much domesticity it’s so NICE ALJDKSFH

your house is always so clean and the color scheme is impeccable bc jean has such a good eye

you have a chore schedule 😎 but it almost never works out bc jean ends up doing everything without you knowing-

you always confront her abt it and she’s like 😁 “i had some time so i did them! no worries tho” like i- time??? where bitc-

oH- she has amazing style so you can bet shopping w her is literally the best experience

she takes you to all of the hidden gems some places lisa recommended and helps you pick out things

will 100% get really blushy if you come out in something and ask her for her opinion tho she’s literally the cutest

basically jean is a sweet girl who deserves the entirety of teyvat that is all.

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3

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hhhecates · 3 years

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New Jujutsu Kaisen hc because I like to suffer and I got this idea after my sign language inumaki hc.

Okay, so... we all know that in animes there's usually that one really stoic and aloof character whose friends are complete fucking idiots and they just have to deal with them, so most of the times they are just annoyed as fuck?? (Yes, I am completely using fushiguro, nobara and itadori's friendship dynamics as a reference)

And we also know that at some point, maybe because faced with their past or because they actually risked to lose their friends, there's that one scene when the stoic character looks at their two dumbass friends arguing over something trivial and they are staring at them from the sidelines,,, and suddenly they just burst into this soft precious smile with rosy cheeks because they realize how much they care for these two idiots even if they drive them crazy?? And everyone looks back at the stoic character completely fucking baffled because what??? They had never seen them smile before and it's just so heartwarming??

But now, just consider sarcastic and annoying reader, soft spoken and polite to the point of mockery towards higher ups and loud and stubbornly undaunted when crossed. Reader is basically the pissy intj of the situation who is halfway between self-deprecating and god complex (gojo probably raised them lol, let's be real). And contrary to the stoic character, who's a little tsundere sometimes?? and who doesn't want to admit they care, intj reader just doesn't care. They don't want to. They don't know if it's worth it and are probably afraid that it's not.

Imagine them being a second year, and they're infamous because as much as you'd like to hate them (and prob a lot of people do) their "friends" really can't. Because reader is all about gratuitous sarcasm and soiled stubbornness that makes you roll your eyes, but they are also the first one to believe in Maki with everything they have got when she talks about her family history, they're the one that silence harshly the petty remarks of the Zenin whenever the most important families in Jujutsu meet, and no, it's not because they think maki can't fight her own battles, they'd never dare open their mouth to defend her because they know maki's own actions and achievements speak much louder, but they will never tolerate the Zenin's disrespect towards her.

They are the one that secretly buy books about sign language to learn it for inumaki, and before that they had an evergrowing list of his onigiri vocabulary on the noteapp of their phone. They're the ones that stay to the dorms with Panda when the others go get snacks because Panda can't really go out on their own, and reader always brushes it off by saying that they don't like going out anyways. They're the one that firstly greeted Yuuta with a half smile, tired but not forced nor fake, and called Rika a "pretty girl" because while she might have looked "just so scary", reader knew better than to dismiss the little girl still behind that "scary" appearance.

Reader is the one that exasperatedly yells at fushiguro, bite in their voice but none in their words, when they tell him that his thoughts and concerns are real and valid. They are the one that huff at itadori's sulking about sukuna and flick his forehead, then reassuring him not to have regrets for wanting to save people's lives when he ate that damn finger and that "whatever stupid thing you do, your senpais will have your back". Reader is the one that tries out new bakeries for Nobara in their free time so that she doesn't have to visit every single one in order to find Saori, and then brings her back her favourite pastries. And they're still the one that when gojo whines loudly, halfway between truly joking and self-deprecating, sigh at him and say in a joking tone "You might be standing alone as the strongest, but that doesn't mean that you always need to stand alone, you know that right?".

And it's so frustrating, because if any of the people at Jujutsu High was to be asked to describe reader, probably that would still leave every single one of them with their mouth hanging open in search of words, because they are annoyingly stubborn and loud, probably a little bit pretentious too, they're also soft and caring and attentive.

But they also know nothing more, nothing else about them. So what the fuck are they supposed to say??

Now, imagine that it all comes tumbling down one day, the elders come to Tokyo Jujutsu High to take reader with them (I imagine reader being like part of one of the main families, not the main threes, maybe a really important one just for the politics?? And the kind that just marries off their children to the three main families in exchange of retaining a high position, and like reader wasn't even born into it, they were adopted because they had like a really strong cursed technique or smth, that's why people from Jujutsu High didn't know who they were, cause they kept their old surname and basically escaped from their old life, cause fuck it, if the elders want them just to be someone's spouse, they are gonna be petty like that and become one of the best sorcerers instead).

For the first time they see reader scared out of their fucking mind, cause no, they don't want for their friends and their teacher to see them like this, to get their past thrown back at their face and drag everyone down with them. It makes them feel weak and helpless, and they fucking despise it.

But ofc no one there is gonna have any of the elders shit, gojo in the first place, and the second years too, boi they are so pissed, the first years just throw all caution towards the elders outta the window, cause they don't care.

They just refuse to hand reader over like they're not their own person.

And let's say they manage to send the elders back empty handed (for now at least, cause yes, I have more hc). But everyone if so fucking shocked??? And naturally now they see reader in a completely different light. And they treat them differently too.

And of course reader notices, how could they not, and they feel so disgusted cause they don't want their pity, they don't need it, they had spent already enough time pitying themselves.

But the thing is that they aren't acting like this out of pity, they don't pity reader, quite the opposite, they just see them as stronger. Because now they saw that reader too has weaknesses and insecurities, and all those things that reader calls disgusting and tries to hide, all those things that make reader agonizingly human. All those things that make them even more of a precious and admirable friend in everyone's eyes.

And so like, imagine that reader has closed themselves off in their dorm room, and no one is allowed in. They come out just late at night to take something to eat, but this time, they find everyone there in the kitchen/living room or whatever, and when they see reader coming all of them start stumbling on their words: the first years and their calls of "senpai! Please don't go back!" fushiguro is there too, and even maki looks worried, inumaki is weirdly serious, yūta visibly wants to speak but can't seem to find the right words and gojo sensei is there too, trying to silence everyone because of course, he is the teacher so "I need to be the first talking!".

And reader is just there, standing and watching all the people they care about the most argue and stutter. And it's a whole fucking mess, but it's okay, because reader is a bit of a mess too, and afterall who isn't?

And suddenly they all turn around to look back at reader because they be on the floor laughing their ass off at the scene, and then they stop laughing and look back at them with the biggest and yet softest smile ever.

And they take everyone's breath away, not because they had never seen reader smiling or laughing, they have, they do it plenty of times, but it's never like this. It's never this happy.

And it's in that moment that reader understands. They see it, and it's as clear as a day. They want to care. They care so fucking much. Because them, all of them, they are worth it.

Wheew, this turned out to be longer than expected,,, I’m so sorry shsjsksk. Also, thank you SO much for everyone who read, commented or liked my previous headcanon about inumaki knowing sign language, I really didn’t think anyone would read it, I just wrote it for shit and giggles but and now I don’t know how to respond???Also maybe I’ll be posting more of these, like a series with this reader? Yeah, I really can’t keep my mouth shut so lol.

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everyonesfavoritelesbowrites · 3 years

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RATLD Headcanons pt. 4

Fears and insecurities

Raya and Namaari both have nightmares of the betrayal in Heart.

During those six years, Namaari can't remember a night where she didn't have a nightmare. Almost all of them of the betrayal.

Having to be careful, Raya learned to sleep very lightly. The smallest amount of noise will make her spring into action. So she didn't get into deep sleep often, but whenever she did she would get nightmares as well.

While Namaari's dreams were mostly focused on her betraying Raya and it going a bit too far. Raya's dream were of her Ba or Namaari going too far.

With more interactions with each other throughout the years came more dreams

Namaari would have dreams where in a fight one would kill the other. Raya would dream similarly, but a lot of them would focus around the Druun.

Raya has many dreams of the Druun getting her, (sometimes getting Namaari but she didn't understand why it got her all worked up).

Namaari would sometimes dream of Fang's famine 100% worse and watching everyone die while she lives in Luxury. (Although she also grew up with not enough food, leaving her a malnourished child)

After the event in Spine, Namaari consistently dreams that she kills Raya instead of Sisu intervening.

She also had dreams of killing Sisu and Sisu not coming back or she would come back and blame her\revenge.

Raya dreams of the fight in Fang's throne room where instead she didn't hesitate and kills Namaari.

Raya also has a hard time sleeping in an actual bed once everything is back to "normal". She's so use to sleeping in trees or caves or against TukTuk that it's accutally too soft.

Raya also wakes up constantly, worried she'll be Druun food or just hearing the smallest noise.

One day she just can't take it anymore and goes for a walk, where she runs into Namaari who looks like she's having a panic attack.

"What are you doing out here, princess Undercut- woah, are you okay?"

They end up telling the other about their dreams and how the beds are too soft for Raya and somehow they end up in the same bed having the best sleep they have ever had.

If they are together it just becomes an unspoken routine where they will sleep together to have a peaceful nights sleep.

They almost always end up in each other's arms but they don't talk about that

Chief Virana and Chief Benja thinking they are sleeping together, like sleeping sleeping together and are surprised when they find out they aren't even dating yet

They wake up when the other has a nightmare and comfort them.

"You're okay."

"Just breath."

"I'm still alive, see? You didn't have the guts to actually kill me."

"Look at me."

"Do you need to go for a walk?"

"We can talk to Sisu if you want."

Raya wonders why Namaari's room is so... empty so she tries to ask her in a way where she can just play it off as a joke if Namaari gets uncomfortable

But Namaari tells her

Namaari tries to not get sentimental to any objects because she's afraid she'll lose them and the events that happened after giving her Sisu necklace to Raya haunt her.

She keeps any sentimental items she gets stored safely away so she won't lose them. It's mostly drawings kids make her or things Raya leaves behind

She also feels guilty to have such an extravagant room, to live in such luxury, when her people have a major homelessness problem. This goes side by side with her food insecurities, although she was pretty malnourished as a child.

She also thinks she deserves to be lonely, not that she already does did feel lonely, but making her room bare helps give her that feeling that she doesn't deserve anything. She thinks this is fair considering her past.

Raya is understanding but also is loosing her mind over Namaari being so hard on herself.

Raya tries to sneak some things into Namaari's room. It first disappears quickly, Namaari tucking them away for safe keeping but after a while, she tries to just let them stay.

She worries constantly, ending up just staring at whatever Raya brought in this time. Perhaps if she engraves it into her memory, she won't worry if she loses it.

It takes a while, but Namaari eventually gets to the point where she won't feel sick not putting things away. She can just let it be with only a few thoughts of worry.

Raya becoming comfortable enough to sleep through the smallest of sounds, but she's never going to not wake up to sounds, it's just too engraved into her.

Namaari smiling when Raya doesn't wake up from a small bird outside the window.

A storm comes around one night in Heart when Namaari is visiting. Raya wakes up from a loud boom of thunder and finds Namaari literally shaking.

Namaari is scared of Thunderstorms, or more specifically loud noises send her into panic.

She has trained herself to not panic when there's a single or just a few loud noise/s, but if it's consistent she just can't handle it.

Raya, unable to sleep anyway, comforts Namaari and tries to distract her.

"We could spar."

"I can ask Sisu if her brother can make it stop."

"Tell me about the things you learned about Dragons as a kid."

"Remember when [moment]?"

"When I was 15, I [tells crazy story]."

"Let's go get [Serlot name], I bet she'd love to cuddle!"

"What do you think makes the noise of thunder?"

"Hey, I thought you weren't scared of anything, dep la. How can I make you flinch like that?"

"I wish I was the one making you shake like that." "What?" "Nothing! Tell me about your cat!"

"Under the blankets, Undercut."

"Shut up thunder!"

Namaari not seeing Raya eat any food when she comes to Fang and asking who made a dish when she's in Heart.

Sisu mentions something about poison and it just clicks.

Namaari hands Raya a dish in Fang, taking her own bite right in front of her first. "Just checking for poison."

After a few times of doing this, Raya ends up confessing to being posioned when she was 13. Namaari understands and keeps tasting food for her and even starts cooking for them right in front of her.*

"Don't forget to check for poison." "Of course, dep la."

"I didn't take you for a cook, let alone a good one." "It's better than your Jackfruit jerky, that's for sure."

Namaari admits to refusing to eat meals given to her unless she pays, otherwise she has to make it herself.*

Raya telling her that she paid for foods in Heart for Namaari, even if it's a slight lie. She's the princess, she kinda gets whatever she wants.*

Namaari paying Boun after they watch him cook for them

Raya gets separation anxiety, worrying that her Ba turned to stone again although it's not posible. She even worries for Namaari but she won't admit to that

Namaari reminds her that her Ba is fine and it helps

Her Ba also comforting her about it ofc

"If anyone will turn to stone, it'll probably be me not your Ba." this doesn't help but she won't tell Namaari she has dreamt of her being stone as well

Namaari accidentally hurting Raya during a Spar and she like breaks. She refuses to talk to her and avoids her because she feels horrible and it reminds her of Spine and Fang's Throne room.

Raya ends up cornering her and is afraid she did something wrong but Namaari admits that she's beating herself up for hurting her and Raya's heart swells and breaks at the same time.

"I've done worse to myself."

"It's literally nothing."

"It won't even scar."

Raya also hates to hurt Namaari.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry! Here, get me so it's fair!"

"I didn't mean to, I swear."

"If it does scar, it'll look sexy..." "What?" "I mean awesome, it'll look awesome. You're not sexy at all."

Raya notices Namaari acting strange around Sisu and asks about it. Namaari explains how whenever she looks at Sisu or even hears her or someone mentions her, the memory of shooting her replays in her head. She explains how she has nightmares about it and hates herself for it.

Raya comforts her by explaining how it wasn't her fault, or at least not entirely. Raya admits how she should have trusted Sisu.

"It's all in the past, we can't do anything about it, Namaari."

"I feel like I have to make it up to her... to everyone." "You literally saved the world but go all out I guess."

Raya stages an "intervention" for Namaari, bringing Sisu to talk to her so they both can make it better for Namaari.

"Don't you hate me?" "No! Why would I!?"

"I don't hold it against you, Namaari."

"What can I do to make it up to you?" "You don't have to do anything! You already saved the world!"

"Well... You could hang out with me more often."

Afterwords, the tension is much better but it takes a bit longer for Namaari to really open up with Sisu.

Namaari also ends up taking with Chief Benja about trying to take the gem. He's too understanding.

"I understand if you despise me, Chief Benja." "I don't."

"If I was in your position, I would have probably done the same to be honest..."

"If I had known your nation was in famine..."

"I don't blame you, it would have happened either way. It was just simply a matter of who and when."

Namaari only feeling intimidated by three people. Her mother, Chief Benja, and Sisu. Maybe Raya when they were fighting but not anymore.

Raya having issues letting people in. Mostly on instinct.

She gets defensive immediately.

"Why do you [add something here]?" "Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy Benturi." *Silence* "I'm sorry, [explains]."

"Dewdrop, what have you been up to?" "None of your business- fuck, i'm sorry, Ba. I was sparring with Namaari."

"Are you okay?" "Who cares?" "...... I do?" "Right, sorry, I'm good."

"Where did you get that scar?" "Minding my own fucking business- I mean, I tripped on a rock accutally." *Namaari still processing*

Raya eventually gives in but it takes a while and a lot of comfort from Namaari and sisu but whatever

*I elaborated on this before

#ratld headcanons series #ratld #rayamaari #raya and the last dragon #raya #namaari #sisu #ratld headcanons #headcanon #headcanons

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thegreenmetblue · 4 years

Text

I saw this domestic question-answer thing and wanted to do it with Starker so here we go :

Disagreement :

Who is more likely to raise their voice ?

Tony. Mostly when he’s worried about Peter.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does ?

Tony.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves ?

Peter. He’d take upon himself until he really can’t.

Who trashes the house ?

Tony. Peter’s too sweet to break anything.

Do either of them get physical ?

No, they’d never do anything to hurt the other. No matter how much they argue or how much power they have.

How often do they argue/disagree ?

Often. I’d say fourth times a week but for little things. And one big fight per two months.

Who is the first to apologize ?

Tony. He’s most likely the one who fucked things up in the first place anyway.

Sex :

Who is on top ?

Tony. He’s daddy.

Who is on the bottom ?

Peter. He’s needy baby.

Who has the strangest desires ?

BOTH. They’re both super kinky.

Any kinks ?

Daddy, praise, humiliation, public, overstimulation, edging, hair pulling, power ambivalence, orders, spanking, and the list is long...

Who’s dominant in bed ?

Tony.

Is head ever in the equation ?

Yeah ofc.

If so, who is better at performing it ?

Tony. But Peter’s getting better every day.

Ever had sex in public ?

Is that a real question ? Tony enjoys it so much. Peter too (even if he pretends he doesn’t).

Who moans the most ?

Peter. He’s a moaning slut.

Who leaves the most marks ?

Peter. Cause the marks on his body fades pretty quickly because of the healing factor but they both like to mark each other to show they own each other.

Who screams the loudest ?

Peter. He’s also a screamer. His voice gets so high.

Who is the more experienced of the two ?

Bruh Tony. He has a life of playboy behind him. Peter’s a cute not-so-much virgin

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’ ?

Both, it depends on the mood of the moment.

Rough or soft ?

Rough but sometimes it gets soft, because the love is showing too much. Lots of praises, « i love you »s, kisses and needy cuddles.

How long do they usually last ?

Peter never lasts long but he cums multiple times. Tony mostly cums one time cause he lasts way longer.

Is protection used ?

Tony tried but yeah... nop.

Does it ever get boring ?

With their kinky and loving ass ? Never.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex ?

Tricky question. Huh... Maybe on a couch while they were on a movie night with the Avengers.

Family :

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children ?

Yes, they plan to. But only once Tony retired.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have ?

At least two.

Who is the favorite parent ?

Both ?

Who is the authoritative parent ?

Tony. Peter’d be too cute to be authoritative.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school ?

Both of them cause their kids are gonna be super clever anyway so what’s a day off ?

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around ?

Peter. Tony’d eat junk food but refuses his kids doing the same.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children ?

Both. But Tony has more time.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews ?

Tony. Peter’s still an Avengers and have less time for those.

Who changes the diapers ?

Tony. Peter senses are too dialed up for that.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby ?

Peter. He doesn’t want his husband to wake up.

Who spends the most time with the children ?

Tony. Peter’s still Spiderman.

Who packs their lunch boxes ?

Tony.

Who gives their children ‘the talk’ ?

Peter. He’s scared Tony would say too much.

Who cleans up after the kids ?

Peter. Tony’s as messy as the kids.

Who worries the most ?

Tony.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from ?

Tony again.

Affection :

Who likes to cuddle ?

Both of them. But Peter gets more needy.

Who is the little spoon ?

Peter. But he can spoon Tony when he gets nightmares

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places ?

Tony. But again, Peter always follows.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself ?

Peter. He always want to touch Tony but try not to because they’re in public. But Tony enjoys touching Peter all the time just to see him blush.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable ?

They never become uncomfortable from cuddling, what is that question even ???

Who gives the most kisses ?

Peter.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity ?

Working in the lab.

Where is their favorite place to cuddle ?

The couch.

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other ?

Tony.

How often do they get time to themselves ?

Every day but when they’re on missions.

Sleeping :

Who snores ?

Tony.

If both do, who snores the loudest ?

Just Tony snores.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately ?

Wtf ? They share.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart ?

Cozy up together.

Who talks in their sleep ?

Peter. He says Tony’s name a lot.

What do they wear to bed ?

When cold, Tony boxers and T-shirt and Peter the « trip to NY » T-shirt and « Hello Kitty » bottom. When hot, just boxers.

Are either of your muses insomniacs ?

They’re both super fucked up so yeah. A freaking lot of insomnias. But Tony has them more.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside ?

Yes.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side ?

Wrap their limbs around each other.

Who wakes up with bed hair ?

Peter. And it makes Tony’s heart melt every time.

Who wakes up first ?

Tony. He can’t sleep.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other ?

Tony.

What is their favorite sleeping position ?

Spoon ? Or Peter glued to Tony.

Who hogs the sheets ?

Peter. He’s a sleeping princess.

Do they set an alarm each night ?

No. Tony always wake up and he’s the one waking Peter up with lots of sweet words.

Can a television be found in their bedroom ?

Yup.

Who has nightmares ?

Both of them have a lot of nightmares. Mostly about losing each other or dying.

Who has ridiculous dreams ?

Definitely Peter.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed ?

Also Peter. But Tony lets him.

Who makes the bed ?

Peter.

What time is bed time ?

When they’re done in the lab. It can be really late cause they tend to forget themself in their little nerdy world.

Any routines/rituals before bed ?

Sex and then cuddles.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up ?

Peter. He’s a teen, he never has enough sleep.

Work :

Who is the busiest ?

Both of them cause you know, superhero stuff.

Who rakes in the highest income ?

Duh, Tony.

Are any of your muses unemployed ?

Nop.

Who takes the most sick days ?

Tony ? Peter can’t get sick.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work ?

Tony. He doesn’t even show up to his own meetings.

Who sucks up to their boss ?

Peter cause Tony’s the boss ???

What are their jobs ?

Both are superheroes but Tony’s SI’s boss and Peter’s an intern here for now.

Who stresses the most ?

Peter. He’s always stressed. Tony’s always calm. Except when Peter’s on a mission.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations ?

They love it. It’s sometimes hard but that’s their reason to live.

Are your muses financially stable ?

Tony’s a billionaire so I think yes they are.

Home :

Who does the washing ?

Tony.

Who takes out the trash ?

Peter.

Who does the ironing ?

Tony.

Who does the cooking ?

Tony again.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying ?

Both of them, they’re basically babies.

Who is messier ?

Tony. Cause he tends to forget everything.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty ?

Tony again. And Peter secretly likes that cause it makes him feel like he’s more mature than Tony.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor ?

Peter.

Who forgets to flush the toilet ?

Peter.

Who is the prankster around the house ?

Mmmh I feel like it’s Tony. Lots of sex pranks.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere ?

Peter. But it’s okay cause Tony have plenty of cars.

Who mows the lawn ?

Tony.

Who answers the telephone ?

Tony. Phone calls stress Peter.

Who does the vacuuming ?

Peter. But only when he can put music with.

Who does the groceries ?

Both.

Who takes the longest to shower ?

Peter af. He likes to sing and jerk off. But the longest showers are when both are in it cause yeah... heads and showersex.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom ?

Peter.

Miscellaneous :

Is money a problem ?

Tony’s a billionaire so no, money isn’t a problem for them.

How many cars do they own ?

Huhh.... 6 ?

Do they own their home or do they rent ?

Tony owns the Compound and they also own a house somewhere lost, next to a lake.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside ?

Both lol.

Do they live in the city or in the country ?

Also both.

Do they enjoy their surroundings ?

Yes. Peter more than Tony cause he’s still not used to all of this.

What’s their song ?

Can’t Help Falling In Love I guess ? Or Daddy Issues. They don’t have the same taste in music. Peter likes pop and love songs and Tony likes rock songs. But Peter secretly have a playlist for songs that remind him of Tony.

What do they do when they’re away from each other ?

They do video calls a lot cause they always miss each other.

Where did they first meet ?

In Peter’s bedroom.

How did they first meet ?

Tony recruited him in team Iron Man.

Who spends the most money when out shopping ?

Tony for sure. Peter is really not used to spend a lot of money. But Tony enjoys spending money for Peter.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets ?

Their assets won’t ever be flashed but Tony.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over ?

Tony. Cause Peter is clumsy af when he’s not Spidey.

Any mental issues ?

Oof. Okay I need a roman for that. They both have heavy PTSDs. Due to their job. Tony’s traumatized by Afghanistan, the people he lost, his parent’s death, Peter dusting, his « death ». Peter’s traumatized by Ben’s death, his first fight, his « death », Tony’s « death », his fight with Mysterio. Tony has a lot of panic attacks and Peter has anxiety. And they both have a lot of nightmares about it so a lot of insomnia too.

Who’s terrified of bugs ?

None of them.

Who kills the spiders around the house ?

Also none of them cause it offends Peter.

Their favorite place ?

Their home.

Who pays the bills ?

Tony. He likes to make Peter’s life easy. Beside Peter doesn’t know how to do that.

Do they have any fears for their future ?

They’re obviously scared the other one will die in a mission, but they try to not talk about it and enjoys their time the best way they can.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner ?

Tony. And everytime he does it, Peter melts.

Who uses up all of the hot water ?

There’s always hot water but it’d be Peter.

Who’s the tallest ?

Tony. But Peter gets taller and he’ll eventually be taller than Tony. And Tony hates that.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other ?

Peter, he does that everytime he can.

Who wanders around in their underwear ?

Peter. Cause he’s warmer because of his metabolism. That drives Tony crazy.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio ?

Peter. For sure.

What do they tease each other about ?

Tony teases Peter a lot. About everything. But mostly about his clumsiness, the way he blushes everytime Tony praises him, the way he needs almost nothing from Tony to get hard.

Peter teases Tony about his age sometimes. But only because he knows deep down their age gap turns Tony on.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times ?

Both. Tony to Peter’s sweaters and Iron Man clothes. And Peter to Tony’s old band T-shirts. (But he secretly loves them and steals them to sleep with).

Do they have mutual friends ?

The Avengers. They spent a lot of free time with them as well cause it feels like a big family.

Who crushed first ?

Peter. Ofc. He has had a crush on Iron Man since he was like 7. Tony only knew him when Peter was 14, but it took a moment for him to come with the crush thing.

Any alcohol or substance related problems ?

Tony had a lot of alcohol problems yeah but not since he’s really with Peter. One night they had a big fight about it and Peter threatened to leave if Tony didn’t stop. Tony hasn’t had a drink since then.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am ?

Peter. Since Tony doesn’t drink anymore.

Who swears the most ?

Tony.

#starker #tony stark x peter parker #peter parker x tony stark #ironspider #domestic fluff #shit that's long #i wanna be their love child so bad #leah writes sometimes

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bi-dazai · 4 years

Text

honestly i think i have a weird anger or cultural confusion where other gay and trans ppl are like much happier and comfortable to come out and shit and be open, but I've always had an extremely complicated relationship with it because it's always made me feel so isolated and lonely, even with other gay ppl around. and younger ppl especially will like go around coming out so frequently and meanwhile if I'm going to even tell you that I'm attracted to women I have to trust you 110% and that isn't something that comes easy.

I'm terrified of like. Wearing even rainbow goddamn socks because I'm scared shitless of getting bullied, or harassed, or even assaulted. Which is ironic considering I try to be quite fashionable in public but with being openly bi (let alone being openly TRANS) it's a complete no-no.

Like I think as much as I love being bi and nb at the same time I still despise it, I still think it's ruined my life. I have gender dysphoria about my chest whereas if I was cis I would be so happy with how feminine my body is. My first ever relationship with another girl at the moment being cut short by abusive homophobia fucked me up in innumerous ways, leading me to like...severe issues with the way i feel about sex and emotional attachment and touch.

And ofc there's the homophobia, like at this moment I'm probably leaning towards getting a fuckbuddy or smth over tinder but like a romantic relationship with another person is terrifying, like I'm insanely private w relationships even w men, I won't let us hold hands if I think too many people might see bc i have this stupid complex

There's more and more but my relationship with being Out is one where it's something that I simultaneously desire and despise, being Out is one of the most terrifying concepts I can think of and to me having someone refer to me as "they" and not as a woman is simply not as important as being safe, as not living in even more fear of assault.

And then all around me ppl my age (although usually younger) are all coming out to anyone and everyone like it's just casual, saying their pronouns like it's nothing. And first it's disbelief and shock because holy fuck, has everyone gone fucking mad?? Are we all so fucking stupid that we just forget the everloving fear homophobia strikes into you?? And then it's the jealousy, that these people have this comfortable relationship with their own gay/transness and enough trust to actually open up and tell a room full of strangers "please call me they not she". It's disappointment and anger in myself that almost 7 years after forcing myself to whisper "I'm bisexual" to the bathroom mirror in the middle of the night and then cry my eyes out because it felt like I'd been cursed, and probably over a decade since I'd started having sexual feelings about all genders, and an entire lifetime of having feelings for men women and others, after so long I'm still just a coward who sits and hates it all, who fears it all.

But then recently I've come to the realisation that the way I realised I was gay was a way that's kind of...dying out. That being the mostly offline way.

Don't take this the wrong way but I've found a lot of people go online and find this overwhelming amount of support and representation for gay and trans identity. You can argue validly this statement, but the context I use this in is comparing it to like. 2013. People were way less online. Being an online celebrity was a novelty.

At school there were dyke, faggot, tranny, etc, thrown around as if they were confetti. Jokes about "lesbos" and "lesbihonest" humiliated any girl who was too close to another girl. I grew up not just in Brisbane Queensland but in a town that was connected to the mainland only by two bridges - a landbridge and a humanmade bridge. The school was overwhelmingly anglo. Overwhelmingly right wing.

I realised I was bi with minimal help from Tumblr. I realised I was bi because I fell, hard, for my best friend. And then she liked me back, and our relationship was amazing. But the school found out. We held hands under the table, we found a quiet moment to kiss and everyone pointed and stared. We made out in the shadow of a building and turned to find twenty people watching gawkeyed, pointing, fascinated.

The entire time her mum was abusive, and massively homophobic. She blamed me for turning her daughter gay. She forced us multiple times to break up at the threat of violence. Eventually we did. We never talked about it. Our friendship never returned like it used to. It was awkward, tinged with sadness, regret, yearning and young love cut short.

It was traumatic, to say the least.

Tumblr in 2014, despite the cringe screenshots, wasn't actually mostly about LGBT positivity or whatever. I first saw the term bisexual on, if you can believe me, a quotev story in 2011 about a cheerleader and an emo girl who get together in a secret relationship. You were either gay or straight, or you had an exception. Bisexual felt right, though, for me, felt accurate, was accurate.

It was years of confusion and secrecy and guilt, peeks at other girls in the changing room that I couldn't help and I didn't understand why. Then it was months and months of anger and frustration at myself that I was feeling this way and confused about myself, and then when I said those words it felt like I was being torn apart. It felt like my life had fallen apart. I cried every goddamn night, I felt awful all the time.

At school the kids noticed. They noticed before I started dating my friend, they noticed the way I looked at her and they interrogated me about it. I'd claim up and down I had a crush on another boy - true perhaps, but it was a passing interest - and then they said they told him and analysed how I reacted. And then the interrogations continued for months because the gay girl was entertainment for them. Around me, as I walked between classes, had lunch, walked home, dyke dyke dyke faggot hahaha.

And then the relationship happened and then leelah alcorn happened and I learned what a trans person is. And sometime when I was fifteen I saw nonbinary begin to pop up, terms like genderfluid and nonbinary and they rang true like bisexual did, but the last time I went down a rabbit hole like that it ended in trauma, and another person got hurt. I didn't throw homophobia at her, but I felt and still feel responsible for it. I didn't turn her gay, but I made it obvious. I don't quite know how to say it.

I knew I was nonbinary, deep down. One day I decided to add that to my tumblr bio. Nobody gave a shit, just like nobody gave a shit when I said I was bi. But that was because I wasn't open about it even online. I couldn't talk about that stuff or I'd curse myself.

Time went on, I got more comfortable, collected fresh new traumas. My brother came out as trans. Around me, friends came out as gay and trans. But they kept coming out. They didn't stop at close friends and trusted family, they told teachers, their entire class. I didn't understand. Why the fuck would you put yourself at risk like that?? And I still don't. I said it was jealousy and anger at myself before, and maybe it is still a little bit, but now, it's just concern.

As I said, the way I realised I was gay is the rather old fashioned way - offline, through trauma, and almost entirely unenjoyable and traumatic. A lot of kids still go through that for sure. But the ones I see telling everyone over that they're gay or trans are, in my experience, not those ones. As the internet began to become more of a general use thing and less of a "only recluse weirdos" space, the online LGBT safe space began to expand into an audience bigger than before. Online, you were safe. Nobody knew your name, you were behind a screen. Homophobia was veiled, you could just delete a hateful anon, could just log off. You could put up your pronouns and people would use them because, well, ppl didn't really have any other identifier someone might use for your gender. So this positive uplifting atmosphere spawned for the most part. And instead of learning through confusion and rare chance encounters with random words and crying into the sink every night that you're gay, you much easier come across this content that tells you indepth what this is and that it's okay. And you think, well wow, that's me, and then...you know, I guess. Not denying there's some of the classic self hatred etc but...you have this safe space online to fall back on, and I cannot emphasise how much that has pushed the acceptance and widespread knowledge of lgbt people in the past 5 years. I didn't exactly have that space, and my realisation was through mostly real life channels, which were swamped at all sides by homophobia, at worst, abusive, at kindest, it would treat you like a sideshow attraction.

Being someone who arguably isn't old enough to brush this difference away with being an "older gay" but still having had a gay experience quite different to the majority in my generation (applying this to area as well) I have to say I'm confronted with this comfortableness other days have a lot and it's always jarring. I think also that while it's important and I'm happy that "younger" gays and transes have at least one good support network/space to fall back onto online, I do think it creates this kind of...dangerous other side, especially for those who go to schools that are LGBT positive and have families who are also friendly to that sort of stuff. I find that young gay teens are totally unprepared and unhardened for the fact that most people you run into in real life despise your guts for existing as who you are. And while we can make as many soppy gay narratives as possible about being honest about who you are and losing shame, we need to face the fact and teach young lgbt kids that being Out isn't just something you do as a ritual in being gay or trans, it's a brave thing and it's completely optional. And furthermore, most importantly, it's insanely dangerous.

I don't think that teenage, raw fear of the consequences of even the very concept of being Out has ever left me. Perhaps I have to thank the homophobic 14 yr olds who swamped me in slurs and trauma, because it's given me a survival sense that's kept me closeted so far you'd never get in.

But occasionally I'm tempted, particularly with my transness which I am only out to perhaps 3 people about, to venture into the world of telling people about yourself. I started a new uni semester and in a tutorial, the teacher handed out cards. We were to use it as a placard to write our names on it so the teacher would learn our names over the next few classes. And, if we chose...our pronouns.

I stared at that card for what felt like a million years. This has always been an ordeal. People don't know how to pronounce my name, even though it's a rather simple one. But pronouns? I'd never really told anyone those. Online, yes, and once when I was asked by a friend i was brave enough to say "any will do" but this - this wasn't the curated safe online space, this wasn't a one-time phrase to a friend. This was an open, permanent thing that would sit below me every class, declaring me to 18 other people. I wrote down "NATALYA", then beneath "she/". And then I stared some more. I felt like I was going to die. I felt like I was the biggest fool, because before I could stop myself I wrote "she/they". No "he", not yet. But...it was there.

At the end of the class the teacher collected the placards. I wanted to run back screaming, wanted to ask her for a new card so I could be safe again. But I didn't because I would look like a freak and a coward.

I still think it's stupid. I still think I've put some petty gesture that no one will ever respect (if they can call you she they won't ever call you they) above my own safety. The thing that really struck me was that it didn't feel good. The reason I wrote it like that, I believe in hindsight, is that I was curious what those other kids feel like, because it must feel good to declare that you're a tr*nny d*ke in front of the entire class, good enough to beat the stomach-lurching dread that precedes such an action. But it didn't. It just felt like an unnecessary risk. And it made me feel worse, like there was a target on the back of my head.

I think I could talk about this forever, about how so many kids believe coming out is this thing you're required to do to be a good gay, but it's not. It's stupid stupid reckless, and in my case it ends with you getting fucked over.

But Ive written for ages and gotten prosaic halfway through so I'm gonna shut up. Basically why the fuck do you guys come out to everyone like please stay safe instead of this it isn't worth it.

#tw d slur #tw f slur #tw homophobia #personal #i didnt hear much transphobia in my grade until towards the end of highschool #because nobody back then rly knew what a trans person was #also #long post #like REALLY long #t slur

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riskeith · 4 years

Note

HIIII hope you have been well my dearest last airbender hehe. i have so much exciting things to share <333

so first off, i did two wish rolls the other night and guess what? on one roll i got BOTH bennett AND qiqi!!!!!! (the other one was just weapons but 🤷🏽‍♀️) i love them both so much i literally ascended them the second i got them. i still can’t believe my luck. so now my team looks like: traveller, noelle and those two. i’m having a little issue bc i don’t have a long range combat character but i love them all too much to change anything. which means i struggle sometimes maybe if i roll for someone else in the future i might change but rn i’m LOVING them. have you ever had luck like that?

AND i started watching haikyuu again and i forgot how funny it is. i usually don’t laugh out loud while watching things but i was literally chuckling while watching some moments. i’ve only watched 10 eps-ish but i fell in love with it again at the first ep already. i cant believe i dropped it before i’m so stupid.

ok that’s all the updates i had hahaha ! i was like buzzing waiting to tell you lmaidhdhdbd 🥺

oikawa is SO pretty it’s insane. when he showed up i was like yeah.... that’s him. that’s the pretty boy. but then again pretty much everyone is pretty in haikyuu who the hell are we supposed to focus on hehdhd the art style is just that good yk?

ships that have silent (+ points for angry) yearning are just superior. and usually they fall in the enemies/rivals category which is lovely. nothing is finer than watching people struggle with their feelings like mmmmmm... tasty. also as good as rareships can be, popular ships are popular for a reason yk? like canon content isn’t everything ofc but if canon can back it up in some way more people tend to be interested heh

wanna know something super weird? when i consume content i always fall for the stotic bois with angst backstories first but after i finish the shows i always miss the cute happy babies and that makes me obsessed with them? idk it’s crazy like voltron for example keith is literally my favorite character of all time but when i finished voltron i was literally bawling bc i missed lance so much help

well i guess we’re talking about voltron now HAHA 😭 dude s3 was a fucking blessing i can’t believe we got that and they just cut it off cold. the leader and his right hand man dynamic makes me yell to this day 😭😭😭 remember all the scenes where they continuesly reassured each other 😭 the ‘leave the math to pudge’ scene lives in my head rent free no joke dhdnhdbdud... s3 was just them loving each other tenderly and dw stole it from us.. ALSO PLEASE WRITE THEM AGAIN LITERALLY BEGGING 😭 pls 🥺

dude our government doesn’t give a shit we literally have politics traveling around and chilling without masks. they don’t care at all we barely have any restrictions so people don’t care either. it’s a mess here ngl.. :/

can’t wait to hear from u again... mwah!

hi hi!!!! is this gonna end up being 2 replies in one day for you again HAHAHA i’ll try not to disappear after

!!!!!!!!!! QIQI AND BENNETT??!!?!!!!!!!! oh my goodness… oh my goodness!!! i can’t believe you got a 5 star before me fjskskkdd but big deserve 😭😭😭😩😩😩 i’m so happy for you nejdnskamxlxmm holy shit!!!!! that’s so cute tho that’s such a cute team… and big mood!! who cares about team dynamics/fighting styles all that matters is that you like them 😩 but also does that mean you currently have 3 sword users and 1 claymore on your team jdjsndnsm. i also used to not have a ranged fighter on my team but it just got so inconvenient lolol. and no my luck is actual ass :( so often i only roll weapons, and when i do roll charas it’s like. all the base free ones djdkskdk

haikyuu is SO funny!!! everyone’s humour is so >>>> omg they’re just silly boys… are you restarting it from the very first ep? and it’s all good if you dropped it before bc you’re coming back to it now and that’s what matters 😩 keep me updated tho! i’m so excited to hear what you think

HFJDNSKSN sorry i went mia and made you wait chksjs WHICH REMINDS ME!! omg i’ve been meaning to tell you and keep forgetting but i downloaded genshin on my phone last week for my trip and it’s so??? difficult? like mad mad respect to you for being able to play on mobile omg… maybe it’s just bc i was used to pc already but damn.. djsjjs

HAHA yeah just admiring the visuals instead of focusing on the story.. we’ve all been there 😩 sometimes you just gotta rewind and take 48394993 screenshots of the one scene you know? who let them be so gorgeous..

yesssss the mutual oblivious pining is so good.. like they’re enemies to lovers but they’re also IDIOTS to lovers… or my fave headcanon which hurts so bad… the one person (keith) pining for their rival (lance) but it’s unrequited and they’ve just accepted that and are kinda resigned to it but. they just want them to be happy above all else :’) :’(

and honestly you are so right like if the popular ship are foils and have all these parallels between them and a deep backstory and stuff that’s so good too there’s so much food AHAH

omg that’s kinda cute tho.. like once you’re done you enter the honeymoon phase w bubbly outgoing charas.. (speaking of honeymoons when’s ours 🤪) speaking of lance he deserved everything lmao.. he deserves everything PRESENT TENSE!!! wow we are really talking about vld in 2021 huh

LEAVE THE MATH TO PIDGE!!! I AM SCREAMING JUST THIBKING ABLIT THIS TOO!! WHAT THE FUCK DOCYOUCMEAN KEITH. WHY DIDNYOUCSAY IT WITH THAT SMILE. LANCE WHY DIDNYOU SMILE LIKE THAT IN RETURN. LEAVE THE MATH TO- KEITH EXPLAIN??? WHA WERE YOU WDOIDJGNDKDNSKFKDKFNDNNCMS the way that lance went from ‘despising’ keith and hating being beaten by him in everything to SEEKING OUT HIS ADVICE AND COMFORT???? IF THAT ISNT GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS like their relationship progressed so so so so so so so so SO much in that one single season… like. i cannot BELIEVE that was real???? no fucking way. like. we were literally so close.. SO FUCKING CLOSE!!!!!!!! my god the trust they had in each other..… LANCE SEEKING KEITH OUT!!! lance accepting keith as the leader before even keith accepted himself EVEN WHEN LANCE HIMSELF SO DESPARATELY WANTED TO BE THE BLACK PALADIN bUT RECOGNISING IT WASNT WHAT THE BLACK LION WANTED AND i have to stop or else i’ll literally never stop typing chskdkdkndcuksncjxjskcoskosnaksj

hhhhhhh i wanna write them sometimes i get hit with the feels SO SO BAD (like just then? LOL) but i haven’t properly written them in so long i feel like i don’t even know how to anymore D; but anyway do you have any prompts? i have so many wips (i have one fic that i said was gonna be my Final klance fic but lmao i’m never gonna finish it at this stage so i guess i’m also not done writing klance? lmao) but after a while i just. have no desire to go back to them anymore fjdjjx so something new might spark my motivation! but also no promises sorry i always say i’ll do shit but never do JEKSKS altho i will try!! i’ll try bust out at least a drabble even if it ends up as an unfinished wip as well lol 😩

oh fucking rip that’s so horrible i’m so sorry you have to deal with that :((( legit it’s so upsetting to see so many governments just. complacent and not caring about this issue at all like?? this is your job? you’re literally meant to be doing all these things to help us right now and you’re just not. which i guess unfortunately also makes sense bc they’re the ones who would suffer least. it’s so frustrating lmaoooo >:(

:***** i’ve stayed up again bc i am Not intelligent fjskdk but i’m looking forward to your response!! goodnight and sweet dreamssss (for when you next sleep LOL) 💗😘

#cluna cries at 2am over s3 kl potential 😔#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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ichirostitties · 5 years

Note

welcome!! can i please get some uhhhhh pining/confession hcs for ichiro, doppo, and dice? 👀

HEY GUYS IT’S BEEN A HOT MINUTE i should be able to update more frequently now!! work b like kickin my ass + i’ve been replying for uni so uwu owo i’m back now alSO oh..THIS RQ WAS LIKE MADE FOR ME!! they’re all good dudes ughh dw i’ll send them all the love

Ichiro

-oh this poor kid. he has no clue what to do, it sort of hit him out of nowhere one day; that he realised he really REALLY liked you, like a lot!! more than a friend (i think ichiro is the type of person who would only really fall for someone he considers a friend first, so u gotta be his friend before u can suck his dick ok)

-he can’t stop thinking about you, especially when he’s reading those light novels of his. he can’t help picturing the two of you in the same situations as the main love interests and he keeps!! blushing and having to stop reading because it makes his heart so soft but he’s so embarrassed

-every time he sees you he can feel his heart sort of..squeeze or ache in some way, he finds it hard to hold back his feelings because he’s usually so honest and affectionate but he really doesn’t want to ruin your friendship.

-jiro and saburo notice he’s been acting differently recently, he’s been a little more easily distracted and he seems especially jumpy when you come around…honestly they can probably tell what’s up, i think they’d try to get you two alone but they simultaneously facepalm when ichiro still says nothing and just keeps staring at you when you’re not looking (sometimes you notice but you don’t think much of it)

-he would probably imagine some different romantic confession scenario each night. before he goes to sleep he lies there and he imagines various (impossible) ways his confession to you would go. it’s all really cliche but he’s having the time of his life before he goes to sleep and probably dreams about it too

-bruh ichiro is so whipped like.,he’d drop anything to help you if you needed it. he’s such a sweetie and even you notice he’s been doing more to help than usual lately. please remind him to take care of himself, i feel like he needs someone to do that for him sometimes

-it takes time, a lot of longing glances at you and he probably even sighs wistfully while reading manga, but eventually he’ll gather up the courage to tell you how he feels. he’s planned some impossibly elaborate scenario, but one day when you guys are just hanging out on one of his days off playing video games or something (GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME…THIS BITCH Y/N IS OUT HERE LIVING THEIR BEST LIFE) he just sorta..lets it slip that he really likes you.

-he would definitely only ever say it in person. he thinks that doing it via message/text is sort of an easy way out and what sort of person would he be if he did that?? he’s gotta gather up the courage just like his favourite main characters have done so many times!!

-so he’d tell you, and if you accept him he’d be SO HAPPY i think he’d almost cry. he’d give you the biggest, softest hug ever and you’d probably have to tell him to stop squeezing so hard but!!! aah!! he’s so so happy that you return his feelings and he doesn’t even care that you guys technically wasted time with all the moments he couldn’t bring himself to say anything

-and as a zombie kills him in minecraft in the background, ichiro can feel that ache in his chest finally subside as he leans in to give you a big ol smooch right on the lips (mwah ily too ichiro)

Daisu

-ok. this one made me a little emo ngl

-when dice finds out he has feelings for you, he really doesn’t know what else to do. there’s evidence that he actually doesn’t think that highly of himself (..im lookin at you hypmic manga + stella lyric video), so he would probably be content to be around you in any way, even if it isn’t romantic, because he’s just so happy and kind of astounded you want to be around him as much as you do at all

-he isn’t very obviously like this, though, it’s just thoughts he has sometimes so you don’t notice anything, but they’re still there. he doesn’t think you’d want to date someone like him, after all, he’s a bit of a screw-up, right?(NO HE ISNT..DICE IS BABEY) he’s only 20, and yet he’s already made so many bad decisions…

-and he finds himself enjoying your company even more than usual, he really does love you so much and he isn’t used to feeling this way! his chest hurts when he thinks about you, and he just sees your hand and wants to hoLD IT SO BADLY but he can’t bring himself to say anything

-he’s always been a little clingy towards people who are kind to him, but you notice he’s been like that even more than usual. he doesn’t even beg money from you like usual, he’s just…there, a lot. not that you mind, in fact you welcome his company, you just notice that difference

-he stays with you a lot, and you guys still have just as much fun together as you always did! he’s great to be around, he’s really lighthearted even if he gets riled up easily, and maybe you start to notice this light, fluttery feeling when he’s around too..but you brush it off as just general enjoyment of his presence

-it’s one day, after he’s had a particular lucky streak down at the slot machines, that he feels that wave of dopamine hit and just rushes to your place, excited at all his winnings, and accidentally-on-purpose (he’s aware of what he’s doing, he just can’t really control his mouth lol) tells you how he feels in a big rush of excitement (probably like “AND I THINK I WON CAUSE I’VE BEEN AROUND YOU A LOT!! YOU’RE LIKE MY LUCKY CHARM!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH Y/N!!”

-you’re like “uhh..ok what?? bruh moment” as he keeps going, then he realises what he said and COMPLETELY STOPS, he’s speechless for a good few seconds, before he turns pretty red and starts pacing around the room ranting about how it wasn’t supposed to go like that!!! he wasn’t supposed to say anything because there’s no way you’d wanna be with someone like him!!

-and then you go over to him to calm him down, take his hand in yours and assure him that actually, you do want to be with him. you tell him you’ve liked him for a while now too, but you’d only figured it out recently, and he’s just so shocked that his brain stops working for a moment and he looks like “…” but as a person

-and then he gets the biggest, cheesiest dice-grin on his face and gives you a BIG BIG BONE-CRUSHING HUG, spins you around, and says he loves you over and over while you laugh and cry simultaneously because you think he’s about to snap your spine

-after that’s over, you tell him that he shouldn’t think of himself as trash or anything; sure he’s like the definition of bad decisions, but you don’t care because he’s an honest, kind person whose company you genuinely enjoy, and even if he gambled all his clothes and everything else he owns away, you’d still wanna be with him because you feel the same, you love him

-he’s so happy! he feels luckier than he ever has in his entire life, his day has gone so well and he has the best sleep (by your side, ofc) he’s had in a long time

Doppo

-a nervous wreck..you think he’s bad normally?? he’s 100 times worse now that he’s realised he likes you in a romantic way

-he’s REALLY OBVIOUS!! poor man :^( he stutters while he’s talking to you (more than usual), he blushes BRIGHT RED when asking you anything, he’s fidgeting SO MUCH like his hands are shaking (knees weak palms sweaty mom’s spaghetti), and sometimes he can’t even bring himself to greet you when he sees you because he’s just too afraid of screwing up and making you hate him (as if you could ever..doppo is amazing)

-everyone within a mile radius can tell how he feels. hifumi almost tells you himself before doppo smacks him straight across the face and tells him to shut the hell his mouth before apologizing profusely to you and dragging mr hifoomi away for a severe talking to about Social Boundaries (then apologizes for giving him the smack and pats him on the head. i love their friendship)

-he’d go out of his way to see you at least once a day, even if he can’t always bring himself to talk to you and even if it means he gets home a little later than usual. he feels horribly creepy just watching you, but his heart is fluttering so much and his chest is aching so badly he can’t do much more than that, no matter how much he wants to go over to you

-he will NEVER confess purposely. his self esteem is so cripplingly low he’s convinced you don’t even like him that much anyway, let alone return his feelings, and he thinks him confessing would just make you despise him, so he never says anything and just remains stuck in this horrible loop

-one day, however, he’s had the shittiest day in a while (at least, it stands out compared to others), and you invite him over for dinner (it’s been a while, after all!). he thinks, why not? how could this day get any worse? at least he’ll get to see you, even if he makes a big fool of himself and you end up hating him. at least it’ll all be over in one day

-you’re actually a little nervous yourself. you really like doppo, and you had plans to say something to him yourself this evening. you didn’t want to give him a nervous breakdown, however, so you had this whole thing planned out where you’d give him the most relaxing dinner possible so he’d at least be in a relatively normal state of mind so you could tell him your feelings

-well!! spoiler alert, it doesn’t end up like that. doppo, more anxious than usual, keeps slipping over his words and keeps muttering under his breath, and you can only seem to calm him for a max of 5 minutes at a time before he’s at it again. you manage to get through dinner fine, in fact it’s really pleasant, but after that he doesn’t know what to do and ends up biting his nails on your couch while you tidy up

-he says it accidentally. he didn’t mean for you to hear it, but he says that he loves you and you almost drop the plate you’re holding in shock because!! no way! he feels the same? and you turn around and he’s got this absolutely devastated look on his face because he’s convinced he’s just ruined your entire relationship

-you rush over to him before he can start apologizing and self-deprecating again (he gets a few out before you reach him) and you pull him up off the couch and into your arms because boy does he look like he needs a hug right now. you stroke his hair and reassure him that you feel the same! in fact, you were planning on confessing to him yourself at some point tonight, but he beat you to it! you congratulate him on being brave enough to say it aloud, even if it was an accident

-doppo’s in shock. he doesn’t know what to say, but he loves the feeling of your hand stroking his hair and leans into it, unable to believe his luck. he probably starts crying as soon as his emotions catch up to him because he’s SO RELIEVED, that was so stressful for him, and he’s not sure if he’s felt this happy in a long time

-he calls hifumi and tells him he’ll be out for the night, before he decides to stay over at your place for the night (screw work, he’ll call in sick) and maybe talk to you about nice things while he falls asleep. he’s wanted this for so long and you’re more than happy to have him over to talk things out properly (and also try to lift his spirits a little. poor man needs a break)

-and now u guys r dating and it’s wholesome and pleASE GIVE HIM ALL UR LOVE HE NEEDS IT!!

#hypmic #hypnosis mic #ichiro yamada #dice arisugawa #doppo kannonzaka #GOD THEYRE SO CUTE #my heart..#i wanna hold ichiro's hand SO BADLY but #also dice's and doppo's #aaaaahh #ichiro pls let me play minecraft with you #BIG LOVE TO ALL 3 OF THEM

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laufire · 4 years

Text

Roswell NM 2x05

My thoughts of this episode could basically be summed up on “Extremely Mixed Feelings” lmfao.

Let’s start with Rosa, obviously. Gosh, I adore her. ADORE her. She feels so lively and real and colourful among... well, everything and everyone else xD. She did even in death. She makes this show better by being the point of contention in the narrative. The mixed feelings come when she interacts with anyone else, because though she remains her incredible self, (almost) everyone else isn’t and I keep chaffing against the dominant narrative :P. She’s also hilarious lmao. I love every one of her zings xD. The “bitch-ass aliens” was obviously the winner, but her calling Max & Isobel’s nonsense “psychic twincest weirdness” was close LOL.

Like, I don’t know how I feel about the show even JOKING about Rosa possibly forgiving Max & Co. The scene itself with Rosa DEMANDING her own room was perfect, but. Yeah. Don’t even joke about that xD. To add that, I actually really love her scenes with Max, both in previous episodes and this one, when he briefly convinced her of stopping his resurrection (I kind of love that the episode was so close to Easter, btw, it’s so on the nose xDD). The energy between the actors works REALLY well and I find myself suddenly paying attention to Max, which hadn’t happened so far xDD. However, I’d enjoy those scenes even more if I could be reasurred that Rosa is always going to have mixed feelings at best about him, and will never be reduced to prop him or Liz/Max (like in the moment where Rosa almost has to comfort Liz about Max loving her. Leave my kid out of this pls). But. Yeah. I also have some guesses as to where the Rosa vs. Max storyline will go now that a.) she has more control of her new powers, and b.) his resurrection is the one that’ll follow the Came Back Wrong pattern, but they’re half-formed/half-wishful thinking so far lol.

I love love love the physicality of Rosa’s scenes with Liz too, even if sometimes I’m bothered by other elements. I’m just amazed by how the actresses manage to make it come across that despite the obvious visuals, despite how ~youthful and reckless Rosa feels... she’s the older sister, still. That’s how she feels, and Liz gets ~swayed by this. Like how she bundles herself agaisnt Rosa’s chest for comfort (and in the second one, the transition to that after Liz holds Rosa’s face in her hands), or how Rosa talks about her “sweet little sister”, etc. It also helps making the relationship feel less proppy than it would otherwise --younger sisters doing something for their older ones feels different than the reverse, idk. I have Thoughts about this but they’re all tangled up with myself projecting stuff on them, so idk what I’m trying to convey here xDD

I’m less conflicted about Rosa/Isobel. STAY AWAY FROM HER ISOBEL. Seriously, I full on despise her now. Fuck her. At the beginning of the season it looked like I might start finding her interesting, but nah. That’s over. And in particular I want her as far away as possible from Rosa. I’m even surprised by the strength of my reaction lol, but I wanted to yell at her to take her dirty paws off Rosa xD (seriously, the scene where she puts her hand on Rosa’s chest felt so so creepy? Was that just me? Add that in Isobel’s comment about having a “threeway” and deugh. GO AWAY ISOBEL). And frankly, it’s hard to miss how Isobel is always at her worst with women of color (I’m wary of her attitude to men of color, after the blatant sexualization/mind control thing with Kyle or all her bullshit with Arturo, too). Her comments on Rosa’s addiction (let alone assaulting her or locking her body in a closet ofc) didn’t help her case. I really, really wish Rosa had chocked a bitch xD. BTW, I’ve seen people attribute Isobel’s shittiness to her connection to Max and his darkness when a.) we saw NO SIGNS of this, and b.) she’s been terrible from day one, okay xD. If the show goes there to absolve her of responsibility like it did in s1... ugh.

My connection was crappy af last week and I somehow missed Michael’s “help me move a body” scene until I saw the parallel done with the one this week and... did this bitch really joke about desecrating Rosa’s body in front of Liz’s face?? (who said nothing because she’s now completely on pod-people’s POV land, ofc. I had flashbacks to Delena joking about Caroline’s rape right there, too). Seriously, the pod-people, ALL of them, have an enourmous debt with Rosa (EVEN MORE NOW), and I really, really wish she collected.

I wish we’d seen Arturo & Arturo-Rosa stuff this episode. It’ll still be tainted by the circumstances (*hates Isobel even more*), but I’m very curious about them. And about how Rosa’s bio-father ties to this stuff --that side of Rosa’s family is being left out of things so far and I don’t like it, tbh. It seems to be simply because it’s too far from the pod-siblings circle of influence ¬¬. Or about how Arturo is processing all this (he still thinks Rosa drove and killed the two other girls and that Max is A Very Nice Boy *barfs*. I seriously resent the very real posibility that Rosa’s story will never be untangled, to her father and to the town).

Not-Rosa-centric stuff under the cut, I guess, because this is getting long xD

I also have mixed feelings about Maria’s scenes with Alex (and Maria’s scenes in general). OTOH, she looked amazing (this is important, js. It’s such a shame we didn’t see Michael’s reaction to that last outfit of hers *-*); I love the actor’s easy chemistry, too; and I think it’s very, very interesting, that Alex basically nudged Maria towards Michael and Miluca. OTOH, I dislike how the conversation immediately turned to supporting him, and especially the false equivalences between Maria falling for Michael and Alex contributing to the lies to her (though I don’t find him as responsibly for that as Michael and especially Liz --since it was Michael’s secret and he planned and struggled to tell her, while Liz was pretty comfortable keeping her in the dark except for her own emotional needs, and knew too well why those secrets could cost), or between looking at your mother’s search history and forgiving someone for keeping you in the dark and endangering your life, js. That he guilted her into forgiving Liz (and so fullfilling Maria’s prophecy about how Liz only struggled to tell her because she wanted support, and my own about how little her anger was allowed to last) made it worse.

I feel terrible for Kyle. You could feel the toll he’s taken smh. My heart broke a little when he told Liz “you called, I broke the speed limit”, too :/. His relationship with his mother is hanging on the balance after all his lies too, which doesn’t bode to well for him either. I liked the scene between him and Alex, at least, though I still don’t think I could ever ship them, given Kyle’s romantic history with someone that ALSO was hung up on another person, js.

Other people have talked about how Alex’s scenes with Michael often highlight his classism and how little it’s talked about in this fandom, but yeah. His comments about Michael’s “wasting” his life... I Felt that.

Related to that, Max’s comment about how someone “has to clean up [Michael’s] messes” is part of why the pod-siblinghood thing is never ever ever going to work for me, sns xDD. Sure, it’s mostly because I don’t like Max or Isobel at all, or Michael 40-50% of the time, but yeah, things like that, or Isobel assuring him of the BLATANT lie that Michael means as much to her and Max as each other... they make it harder to get into the ~spirit lol. Another issue is how TERRIBLE the editing to make them appear younger looks xDD

I had to, HAD TO, roll my eyes at Max’s martyrdom. Ooooh, he’s not doing this for HIMSELF, he would NEVER care about being in PAIN, he’s doing this for US. And the narrative conveniently doesn’t take him at his word and saves him, ofc, because’s he’s a lead and that’s what’s up. It was interesting seeing the other characters coming to acceptance at first, however --I hope it’s a Sign. There are other Signs (of Max’s narrative maaaaaaybe weak spots) that really *pop* in this episode. Like the fact that there’s doubt over who is more important to him, Liz or Isobel. In a show with a really strong male lead, the answer would unquestionably be Liz: she’d know it, Isobel would know it, we’d all know it. And sure, I know a lot of people would say that it’s “better” (?) for a show to acknowledge the ~importance of familial and platonic bonds~ and what not, but c’mon. I don’t doubt that if Liz had been white things would be different. But that’s not the case here. And there are strong arguments for Isobel being number one... like the fact that this amnesia plot in the promo seems to ONLY involve Liz? I mean, he seems to remember Isobel just fine. A male lead forgetting the love of his life is very, very tricky. OTOH this is good in the sense that I’m all for anything that makes Max take a fall... but his & Liz’s stories are too tangled up and I’d fear she’d surely go down with him :/

#roswell: new mexico #rosa ortecho #maria deluca #ortecho sisters #roswell thoughts #roswell spoilers #my thoughts #talking to the void #antimaxevans for ts #antimalex for ts #except not but i Say Something Negative so *sighs*#antiisobelevans for ts #kyle valenti #liz ortecho #antilizmax for ts #antimichaelguerin for ts #antipodsiblings for ts #bitter lau tag #favourites: soul siblings

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clivtbartcn · 5 years

Note

Favourite iron man movies scenes? Favourite avengers movies scenes?

Well this will totally teach me for not checking my inbox, won’t it? Thanks for sending this, and I’m sorry it took me so long yikes

Iron Man

I love everything with Yinsen like A LOT. I love “Is this the last act of defiance of the great Tony Stark? Or are you going to do something about it?”I mean what a strong and incredible moment that totally defined Tony. I love that so much. Of course, Yinsen had a lot of amazing quotes too, like the immediately following “Then this is a very important week for you, isn’t it?” His sacrifice and telling Tony not to waste his life rips out my heart every time. I just really really love Ho Yinsen.

Naturally, the shot of Tony forging the first ever suit while THAT music plays is totally iconic and unforgettable and one of my favorite things ever.

Small thing, but I love Happy and Tony racing to the plane because that is soooo them. As well as Tony calling Rhodey platypus because ugh adorable.

I despise the Obediah scenes but also love them because I hate myself I guess?? He genuinely reminds me of my abusers and scares me shitless so I’m super uncomfortable when he’s on screen but I think it’s a little comforting to see a superhero deal with the same kind of person? I dunno.

Pepper pointing out that it’s different for Tony to date someone at work than it is for her because he’s Tony and a man and people will think she’s trying to sleep her way to the top. Girl spoke the truth

God everything with the bots. Dum-E and his fire extinguisher. Doll.

“Sometimes you gotta run before you can walk”

“I am Iron Man.” I C O N I C

I have a whole lot more in movie one alone so I am gonna cut myself off here to be totally honest.

Iron Man 2

Everything with Natasha. Bonus points if the scene includes Happy tbh. Also Tony and Nat literally have the tag of bros™ on my blog. I also, ofc, love everything with Rhodey bc come on.

tony’s process of buying the strawberries- I love that salesman so much. Also his ADHD with the thingy on Pepper’s desk.

Him figuring out how to save himself, and while I despise Howard being portrayed as anything besides what he is (post agent Carter at least) I even love his video. And I DEFINITELY love Tony finding and using Cap’s shield, and his whole exchange with Coulson and the earlier one with Fury.

Peter. Parker.

Again, I’m sure there’s more but this list is already SO long and let’s be real this one isn’t gonna have as many as the first Iron Man

Iron Man 3

EVERYTHING WITH RHODEY!!!! Rhodey is ON POINT in this movie, alright, like everything he does and every exchange is pure gold. I also love the stuff with Happy

Tony’s anxiety and PTSD. Look, I feel like a jerk for saying it but I love those scenes. I will never ever forget sitting in that theater and having just recently realized I have a legit problem with anxiety and seeing IRON MAN deal with the same thing and seeing it actually treated like a real issue. I still cry sometimes rewatching this movie. I love that at first Tony doesn’t know what to do with it and then just... accepts it. Like he never really looks at it like a mental illness is any different than a physical one and I adore that.

The bunny & badass Pepper

There’s more but I’m never gonna stop if I unleash

The Avengers

My second favorite MCU movie most likely.

God everything SteveTony. They are so extra in this movie yikes

This is easily Clint’s best movie in the MCU, and the one that first made me realize how awesome of a character he is. All of the ClintNat was fantastic and I will forever be mad at Whedon for backtracking that like it didn’t happen because RUDE

Coulson. Oh god Coulson

The whole team interaction. Honestly like... It was so great. I love how it set things up, which is probably why I love 2012 fics so much. It was just... The movie was magical and the fics taking place after are magical. The whole thing is pretty awesome and I just love the dynamics and how it gives you a vision of how things might grow between them all

“Put on the suit” God, Steve, armorkink much?

Pepper’s shorts at the beginning. Good god woman way to slap me in the face with how pan I am

Honestly just about the whole film. I really love the Avengers. I love my memories surrounding first seeing it, I love the team, I just really really love that movie. It is only second to Iron Man

Age of Ultron

Not a good movie, but some very good scenes IMO

The WHOLE party. The thing with the hammer and how Steve was obviously not trying and how Tony and Rhodey worked together and bantered. Of course also the look Steve gave Tony because gee. Also Thor and Tony debating about Pepper and Jane

Steve and Tony and the log cutting

Tony’s vision and then talking to Fury about it and uggghhh pain my poor baby

Also the end with Tony and Steve and Thor. And then Steve and “I will miss you Tony”

I am totally missing one or two things but??? Eh, most just the random team interaction

Whew okay I’m gonna let Infinity War and Endgame be separate bc honestly listing Endgame alone will be a novel basically. I love A LOT of scenes. Feel free to ask if you want though! This was super fun even though I missed a ton!

#answered #im #im2 #im3 #ta #aou #mcu #eobardwellscavanagh

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fandomoniumflurry · 6 years

Text

No One’s in the Way

Dean Winchester x Jo Harvelle x Harley Wentworth(OFC) (Chestervelle x OFC)

for @spnpolybingo Square filled: Clothes sharing

for @spnfluffbingo Square FIlled: Photoshoot

also this is the first time I’ve introduced my original female character into my fanfics. I’m hoping to do more with her but until now she’s just gonna be a crossover character. you may see her more from time to time in random things but this is just a quick peek into the lovely former gangster so do be kind. This was mainly for my own entertainment and feels so if you enjoy it, great. If not, oh well lol This character has been my baby for years now and I just want to write her more and this is my way of getting her out a little.

4k+ words, language, poly, pining, some tears, mainly fluffy. no beta as usual. **Edit by me**

taggers: @becs-bunker @keepcalmimthecupcake @janai-mcgarrett @hunterswearingplaid @lukecastellamz @elsatxx @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @ambermei

As she held the camera, the pink and blue haired woman couldn’t help but admire her subject. Growing up on the wrong side of the tracks, she never had a chance of getting to know such a beauty. The blonde was a spitfire but she was sweet and innocent in a lot of ways. There would be no way in hell Jo’s mom would ever approve of the two women having any kind of connection. Where the blonde was tanned and sober, Harley was a tattooed ex-junkie. It didn’t stop either of them from meeting and becoming friends.

Most people wouldn’t understand how the two got along or how a girl that grew up on the streets and involved in a gang fell in with the daughter of a bar owner from a small town. But somehow they just fit and Jo was Harley’s favorite work of art. The blonde never found it odd when her scantily clad petite friend took her picture or posted those pictures all over her studio which was also her apartment.

Harley had been trying to get clean the whole time Jo had known her so she could never understand everyone’s judgement of their friendship. It was no surprise that Ash was the one to bring the two girls together. The young woman had had a rough life and Jo admired her for trying to turn her life around. The blonde was simply helping her adjust to her new life and make a new name for herself. Photography was the tattooed girl’s passion so Jo would gladly be her muse. And she wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy the attention.

Boys never paid much attention to the young tomboy, the girl that could beat them at video games and in a fight. It was hard to get a guy that would appreciate her strength and independence. But Harley did. Harley was smug and confident, a lioness of beauty and grace, a petite and feminine predator that held determination and will of anyone three times her size. What was there not to admire about the ex-con? And as far as the Harvelle knew, there was no boyfriend that Harley would ditch her for like some of her other girl friends had. So in Jo’s eyes, Harley Wentworth was the perfect friend, shady past and all.

Harley hadn’t finished high school so she was supportive of Jo’s choice to drop out of college, much to Ellen’s dismay. Though Ellen didn’t really want her daughter working at the Roadhouse, she thought it a better choice than any alternative. At least this way she could keep an eye on her only family left. Harley never came to the Roadhouse knowing that Ellen was one foul word away from hating her.

People hating her was not something new to the former gang leader but it stung this time just because it was Jo’s mom. If it had been anyone else, she would have flipped them off, walked out and peed on their car or something. But Jo was special and the approval of her mother was important and so Harley didn’t push her luck. Not that her mom’s disapproval kept Jo from hanging out with her, sometimes sneaking out to do just that. Harley never asked her to, as a matter of fact, Harley had advised against it, not wishing to be any more on the matriarch’s bad side. But she never turned the blonde away, heaven knows she couldn’t even if she wanted to.

You see, the problem with Harley was she was pretty head over heels for the younger woman. It had never been brought up as to why Harley never had a boyfriend or had guys over. She never explained why she never flirted with guys when they went out together. Her orientation just never came up because once Jo had called them friends, she knew it wasn’t important. It was pretty instant for Harley, before Jo even spoke, she knew she was in deep. The only problem was that she had been friend zoned pretty quickly and though it was a shot to her ego, it stung her heart a little more.

But Jo was good for her, inspiring a change in her wild party hard lifestyle. And so she was content having the girl as her friend. Another thing that had never been discussed is their mutual acquaintances. One of which happened to be Dean Winchester. The hunter had attempted to pick up the girl with the studded nose and tattooed neck. He was shot down but it wasn’t long before the two of them started picking up women together. And thus a close friendship was born.

That was a few years ago, back when bars and drugs was her scene and it was him that had took her in and helped her out when she hit rock bottom. If it wasn’t for Dean and his brother Sam, she wouldn’t be clean and sober today, even though Dean was still a bit of an alcoholic and a playboy himself. But that was something that just didn’t get brought up. So as Jo spoke about her newest crush, Harley couldn’t help but think of Dean, who she would be calling later, telling him about her own secret crush.

“Can I stay with you tonight and maybe invite him over?” Jo was staring at the blue eyed photographer with pouty lips and pleading chocolate orbs. Harley frowned slightly but before she could deny the blonde’s request, the younger woman came bounding over to her. Harley’s eyes were wide as Jo practically bounced in place with her hands in the hold of her thin fingers. “Please, Quinn. You know I’d never get to see him if I had to have him over at my house. You’re my best friend and I want you to meet him. Your opinion is everything!” More pouty lips and an unfair use of puppy dog eyes.

Harley sighed in defeat before she nodded slowly, her blue pools falling to look at their joined hands. Jo squealed with delight and threw her arms around the former junkie, leaving Harley no choice but to catch her when she came off the ground. Arms wrapped around the young woman and for a moment she could pretend that all this excitement was over her. But she couldn’t stay in the fantasy because Jo pushed free and informed her that she was going to go call her guy friend, whom Harley already despised.

She scowled at the back of Jo’s head, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout of her own. What could this boy possibly have that she didn’t? Had he been there to wipe her tears, share her burdens, laugh with her, open her arms and her home for the young Harvelle? No, she would guess not. And yet he was the object of Jo’s affection. She couldn’t help but feel bitter but so far Jo seemed to be completely oblivious to her bitterness.

By the look on Jo’s face when she came sauntering back into the room, her intended had agreed to stop by. The blonde was practically vibrating and didn’t notice the sour look on Harley’s face. “Can I borrow some clothes?” Jo asked, her hands tucking into the back pockets of her jeans. She looked almost shy in the moment, her innocence showing in her averted eyes and pinkening cheeks. “Something...sexy?”

Harley’s eyes grew wide. They had shared clothes before, Jo only slightly bigger than Harley. But their styles were entirely different. Harley was confident in her skin, showing off all the artwork that she had etched into her body so she wore short skirts, revealing dresses, thin shirts and tank tops. Not that Jo’s clothes were ugly but they were more modest and subdued instead of brightly colored or flashy patterned that were in Harley’s closet.

The clothes Jo usually borrowed were some of her friend’s more conservative articles, mostly just sleepwear or comfy day clothes. But now as she stood there asking for a different kind of apparel, Harley could hear her heart break. She nodded anyway and turned to lead the way to her walk in closet. Hopefully, the blonde wouldn’t be asking to use her bed later.

Sensing the change in mood, Jo grabbed Harley’s camera and before the tattooed beauty started going through hangers, Jo handed the device to her. A brow lifted in confusion as blue eyes looked up at Jo. “Let’s make it a photoshoot!” Harley’s lips curled slightly. Jo knew her so well and the pink haired woman nodded, taking her kodak out of Jo’s grasp.

“Ok, get that pretty little ass in that closet and show me what you fucking got.” Harley’s smile returned and she stepped away to allow Jo to begin to pick out outfits from the closet full of clothing of all different colors, patterns and textures.

The first few outfits were just meant to make the photographer laugh, furry tails, spiky skirts, tight belts and shapeless dresses. A leather one piece snuggly clung to her every curve but instead of being sexy, she pushed out every roll and bulge, hunching over and twisting to make it unattractive. Jo was afraid she was going to bust a seam because she was laughing so hard.

Falling on their backs on the bed, they had to take a break. The camera had been shaking so much from giggles that the pictures were just coming out blurry. The chimes that rang through the apartment, a rap beat accompanied by beatbox, never failed to make Jo laugh. But this time, the blonde shot straight up in a sitting position with a look of terror on her features. A hand rubbed softly down Jo’s back before the camera came to rest on the bed beside her.

The mattress lifted slightly when Harley rose and moved out of the room on a mission to open the door. When the wooden door came ajar, Harley stared at Dean in confusion. He grinned and offered her a wave. “It’s just a friend of mine!” She called out behind her.

Feeling relieved, Jo came around the corner. All relief washed away, taking all color from her face with it. “Dean.”

“Hey, Jo.” Dean smiled with a wave of his fingers before looking at Harley with a wink. She narrowed her eyes at him before he let himself in. She watched him closely as she closed the door and sneered when he moved over to place his hands in Jo’s. “Nice outfit.”

Jo was too dazed to realize she was still wearing the leather. Her cheeks burned red and Dean laughed when she quickly darted back into the bedroom to change. His smile disappeared when he turned around to find an angry petite mop of pink and blue hair, a face glaring up at him with arms crossed over her chest.

There wasn’t much that scared the infamous Dean Winchester but Harley was definitely one of those things. He towered over her at six feet one to her even five feet and yet if she wanted to, she could easily take him down. He had a hundred pound on her easy but her size was her greatest asset. He flinched when she threw a punch at his shoulder, nowhere near her full strength and yet like a scolded puppy, he pouted and put a hand on his arm, hoping it wouldn’t bruise.

“What the fuck, Winchester?! You’re the man meat??” The foul mouthed woman leered up at him and Dean just shrugged earning him a punch to the other shoulder. “Did you know?!”

“Until Jo called and gave me her friend’s address, no, I didn’t know. Wasn’t that hard to figure out. I’m disappointed in myself for not figuring it out sooner.”

A heaving sigh fell from think pink lips before the ex-con plopped down on her couch in a heap. Her head fell back, defeat taking over and her last shred of hope flying out the window. There was silence for a few brief moments until Harley spoke, her eyes staring up at the ceiling. “Do you like her back?” The words were a forlorn whisper and Dean frowned down at her.

A moment later, he was sitting down next to her. Harley’s head lulled to the side to catch his expression and she smiled ruefully. Sliding her arm in his, she laid her hand on his shoulder. His head rested against hers after he pressed a kiss to the roots of blonde in the blue of her hair. He whispered his apologies and she wrapped her fingers in his and squeezed in assurance. They would have to figure it out but no girl was worth ruining this friendship.

Both heads lifted the second Jo stepped timidly into the room, her hands folded in front of her. The clothes she had picked were simple but perhaps that was what made her so stunning. She had on a short purple skirt, one of Harley’s favorites, not flashy or ornate, accentuated by a pair of knee high black boots and a thick black belt with silver studs around her middle. The silver shirt sparkled faintly, hanging off the shoulders and a pair of muted silver and purple earrings hung from her ears. She had done a little makeup and curled her hair and she blew her two admirers away.

She grinned with bright red cheeks when she spotted the way they looked at her. “Wow.” Dean’s soft exclamation didn’t even begin to describe it. Unable to find the words either, Harley just chose to say nothing, staring as her mouth hung open.

Next thing they knew, a flash left them seeing spots. Jo giggled as she lowered the camera that captured the pair on the couch in pixels forever. The two of them looked at each other with equal amount of mischief. A silent conversation passed between the two of them and they grinned before their heads turned to look at Jo. Suddenly feeling uneasy in the predatory gaze of her friends, the blonde took a step back. The moment the two hopped up off the couch, Jo squealed before darting back to the bedroom.

She was laughing as she tried to close the door on them but it was no use. While Dean held the door open a crack, Harley slipped in. The photographer took the camera from Jo’s hands and began snapping pictures. The blonde’s face was wrinkled with her fits of laughter and she put her hands up to try and avoid the flashes. Dean was behind her before she knew it, curling an arm around her shoulders while the other helped pin her hands.

Jo leaned back into him, gladly reveling in his embrace and willingly posing for the continuing clicking of the camera. Harley lowered the device for a moment and watch as the couple laughed and held each other close, more involved in one another to notice that Harley had stopped taking pictures. Her heart swelled, though with jealousy and an ache that seemed to splinter her bones but mostly with pride and happiness. The way they were together, there was no doubting that they were made for each other.

Dean’s eyes peeled from the blonde in his arms to catch Harley’s longing gaze, slightly misty with emotion. He unwrapped himself from around the younger woman and reached for the camera. “You’re turn to be in the pictures, Harlequin.” There was no time for argument when Jo wrapped slender fingers around Harley’s arm and pulled the pink haired girl into her side and plastered herself against her, beginning to pose for this new round of photos. These all would definitely be put up on the studio walls. Even if just for a reminder of the day her two closest friends came together for the first time and how happy they were.

She clung to the blonde, taking all she could get of the woman’s warmth and tender affection. When lips pressed gently against Harley’s cheeks, she was stunned into silence and her body went stiff. Hoping that neither of them had noticed her reaction, she swallowed and smiled softly. Dean lowered the camera and smiled crookedly with a knowing look in his eyes. Harley averted her eyes but Jo’s arms curled around her neck and made her look between the two of them.

Dean set up the camera on the tripod before he came to stand on the other side of Jo, his arms wrapping around her thin waist. The intimate pose between the three of them made Harley suddenly nervous and when the camera flashed, she knew her face would look far from happy like the other’s smiles suggested. Before another photo could be taken, the photographer slipped out of Jo’s arms and made way to walk out of the room. It took an embarrassingly long second for either of the two to go after her.

“Har.” Dean was the first to call out to her and with a sigh, the petite woman turned to face him. The look on her face made his mouth turn into a faint frown. Harley cast a glance at Jo before returning her attention to Dean, the man mimicking the exact movement as well. “Where are you going?”

“I need some air.” Harley exhaled the words before turning to move towards the door once more. The hand around her wrist stopped her and when she looked over her shoulder, she saw Jo’s eyes soften. “You guys need some alone time.” She plastered on her famous smile, though faked, it always did its job.

And yet for some reason, Jo and Dean could see right through it. Dean didn’t remove his hand from around her wrist and the blonde took a step closer, only to be stopped by the man beside her. Her face wrinkled in confusion but he nodded and with a sigh, she took a step back. The way the two of them were looking at her, Harley started to feel self conscious. She thought about pulling away for a moment, her pink and blue hair shuffling a bit as she turned her head to look at her options.

“Ya know,” Dean started talking and Harley immediately locked eyes with his. There was a hint of sadness and sympathy in his emerald hues and she relaxed under the gaze. “At first, I was jealous.” Harley’s head tilted slightly as the man began to speak with a crooked smile. “When we first met and started hanging out, all Jo had to talk about was her awesome best friend. Hell, she had me nearly falling for this perfect woman.”

Harley’s head turned with wrinkled brow just to catch a glimpse of Jo. The blonde gave a coy smile, a faint blush on her cheeks as she shrugged her shoulders. “I started to think, why did she want to hang out with me when she had this perfect girlfriend at home?” The petite woman’s eyes were wide as saucers as she looked up at Dean again, he just quirked the corners of his lips in a grin. “Man, was I confused when she claimed to be interested in me and we started to see each other more.”

The photographer was more than confused herself and she chose not to look back at Jo anymore, unable to meet the blonde’s gaze as she tried to assess her reaction to Dean’s words. “At the same time, on the other hand, I had you telling me about this awesome friends of yours, someone that sounded absolutely perfect and made me want someone like that.” Both women listened carefully as the hunter continued, both of them wide eyed at this point, one with a smile, the other mouth agape.

“It wasn’t until tonight that I figured out what was going on. Man, I’m an idiot for taking so long.” He chuckled ruefully with a shake of his head and Jo took a step forward to place a hand on his bicep. Harley waited, hoping that he would explain fully before she burst. “You both are absolutely crazy about each other and I’ve just been standing in the way.”

Jo’s head spun quickly, taking her eyes off the other girl to stare dumbfounded at him. Jo’s reaction gave off an answer misconstrued by the pink haired woman. She frowned and easily pulled herself from the grasp of the distracted Winchester. In the brief second, Jo and Dean muttering slightly, Harley tried to make her escape before the tears could escape first. Even though it was her apartment, she was the one to run and her small size and speed allowed her to head to her car before the pair could even make it out into the parking garage.

The one thing she kept from her old life was her big purple truck, her baby, a machine she had spent years fixing up, repairing, rebuilding. This was more her home than anywhere else and the moment she slid behind the wheel, she instantly relaxed. She could breathe again and her eyes closed as she leaned back against the headrest, finally allowing a few tears to flow down her cheeks.

In the hustle of her escape from her closest friends, she had forgotten to lock the doors to her car so she jumped when the passenger door and her driver’s side door both opened. The blonde climbed up next to her and Harley’s eyes were wide as she pushed her way in beside her. The truck jostled slightly as Dean jumped in and trapped the photographer between the two of them.

“Thought we'd find you here, Quinn.” Jo muttered with a teary smile, molding herself against the smaller woman’s side, twining her arm around hers and resting her blonde head on her shoulder.

“I'm surprised you haven't driven off yet.” Dean added from the other side, sitting close to her but not as closely as Jo.

Harley wasn't sure what to say and a part of her couldn't help but smile at the fact that they had come after her. Then again another part of her wished that they hadn't, it would have been easier that way. But sandwiched between her best friends, her body and heart betrayed her. She rested her head against Jo’s and intertwined their fingers.

Much to her surprise, Dean took her other hand and his green pools watched as his fingers played with hers. She looked at him curiously before her hand closed around his and made him look up at her. “You're never in the way, Dean.” She assured him with a soft smile and the corner of his mouth lifted faintly. lifting Jo’s hand, she placed it in Dean’s, smiling at the two of them with a nod.

The pair looked at each other and smiled bashfully, Harley finding it almost comical when they both turned bright red. Though her heart was heavy, she couldn't even be upset. The happiness of her best friends was more important than her own. Besides, she would still have them in her life and that was better than nothing. As they sat in silence, Harley’s blue orbs looked down at their joined hands as Dean and Jo looked at each other.

She felt their eyes on her before she even saw them looking at her. Her misty hues met Dean’s gaze as he sported an amused little grin. This only further confused her. “You've always had a habit of jumping to conclusions. I wasn't finished talking.”

Her face wrinkled in slight annoyance, her mouth opening to give a retort but Jo stepped in first. “I like both of you, ya dummy. Like… equally.” Meant to clear up the confusion, it simply further confused Harley. Jo couldn't help but laugh at the adorable look on her face. With her free hand, Jo grabbed Harley’s and joined it with hers and Dean’s, hoping that would clear it up better.

Her mouth opened but this time she had no words to say. She just looked between the two of them with the widest of eyes. Jo nodded, squeezing their hands then looking to Dean. He was blushing even more now, his elvish ears a bright pink as he nodded also. It was a risk, but Jo leaned forward slowly and planted a chaste kiss to Harley’s lips. Instinctively, the photographer's eyes closed and her chest stilled with the breath she held. Her lips were just as soft as she imagined, pressed against hers instead of her cheek.

The kiss was over as quick as it had started and Harley blinked a few times once she opened her eyes. Both of them were smiling at her and if she didn’t know any better, she would have said that butterflies erupted in her stomach. The former druggie had always been with women, no man ever catching her eye or her affections. It wasn’t that she wasn’t opposed to the idea she just never even considered it. But now that Dean was giving her that same look that he gave Jo, she started to see something she had missed during the years that she had known him.

In a flash, her hand rested on the back of his neck, long thin fingers curling into his hair as she pulled him to her for a kiss that was far more fierce than the sweet one Jo had given her. The kiss was brief and Dean was breathless when he pulled back with that goofy grin of his. Jo giggled and pulled him to her for a little bit softer kiss. “This way no one’s in the way.” She whispered against his lips before kissing him again.

“This is weird.” Harley stated with a chuckle. Though it was the truth, in that moment she couldn’t think of anything better than having the both of them for as long as they would have her.

“Oh, shut up.” A laugh bubbled through Jo’s lips before she turned to latch her mouth to Harley’s.

“You love every minute of it.” Dean added with a smirk as his calloused hand rubbed gently up and down the pink haired woman’s bare thigh. This was going to be interesting and none of them could wait to see what the future held.

#spnfluffbingo #spnpolybingo #original female character #supernatural #spn #dean x jo x ofc #dean x jo #dean x ofc #harley wentworth #clothes sharing #photoshoot #dean winchester #jo harvelle #chestervelle #chestervelle x ofc

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stopforamoment · 6 years

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Sense and Sensibility (5 of 7)

Sturm und Drang

Sense and Sensibility (5 of 7)

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three)

Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OFC Rinda Parks

Word Count: 1,421

Rating: R for Language and Discussion of Rape

*TRIGGERS discussion of rape and unwanted sexual contact

Author’s Note: Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this. The keep reading link shows up on my laptop but not my phone. Ugh.

This series takes place in week three of the school year, and Bastien and Rinda are about to go through their first major friendship challenges.

Summary: Rinda and Bastien try to explain their perspectives to each other.

Bastien looked at Rinda’s eyes and turned away. Golden topaz. The look of controlled fury that he hoped would never be directed at him, but there it was.

When he had the courage to look at her again there was so much pain in his eyes. “Rinda, it’s not that simple.” He took a deep breath. “It’s about defending the king, but it’s also about defending the country. And sometimes things need to be done that, that seem cruel to a civilian.” He looked at Rinda, gauging her reaction. She returned his stare without flinching.

“Constantine’s rule had been, well, challenging. Regina is his third wife. His first wife just left court. She couldn’t handle it, so she left her son Leo behind.” Rinda had been studying recent Cordonian history since she arrived, so she knew the basics and nodded that she was following along. “Then his second wife, Liam’s mom. She was . . . perfect. She complemented Constantine so well. She softened him, she advocated for the people. Education, literacy, social reform. But she wasn’t from Cordonia. She was French, and she was a commoner. Some people called her ‘The French Whore.’” Bastien spat out the words, furious at the memories. “The people loved her, but there were factions who despised her because she was a foreigner and didn’t have royal blood. So she was assassinated, and now there’s Regina. Constantine changed after the loss of two wives, and he deliberately sought someone who would be strong, but in a different way. In a hard, cold kind of way. And then Leo abdicated and Liam was forced into the role. Then there was Constantine’s declining health and the need for Liam to find a suitor. A suitable suitor. Constantine was concerned about the monarchy and the country, but he was also afraid for Riley because she is a foreigner, like his second wife. And you’re right, Rinda. Riley is so strong. She rose to every challenge, and the people loved her. Liam loved her. So Constantine gave an order to do the lowest thing he could think of. Even worse than an assassination. And I carried out his orders.”

…….

“So, what I did. It’s the same thing as the people who covered up your rape. I’m no better than them, and I know that. And that’s why I needed to tell you.”

Rinda was quiet for a long time. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees. Bastien couldn’t look at her. He just stared at the wall, waiting. Giving her time. Giving her space.

“Bastien, I don’t think it’s completely fair to say that. Those men were just looking for a paycheck, and what you do is more than that. And intellectually, not emotionally, I can wrap my brain around hurting one woman because it could ultimately protect an entire country. The needs of the few outweighing the needs of the many. Whereas with me, it was just protecting some rich kid asshole who will never have to deal with consequences.

“I think part of what’s messing me up is that you’re an honorable man. You’re a good guy, as cliché as that sounds. So I’m getting tripped up with reconciling the honor of protecting king and country with what ultimately ended up being a shitty, asshole way to sabotage a woman. I think, what I mean is that I’m shocked you didn’t refuse Constantine’s orders or at least talk to him about it. I know your role is to protect the king and obey his orders, but you’re head of security with power of your own so you can protect people.”

Bastien took some time to think about the best way to answer Rinda. “My primary roles are to protect and serve the king. I’m in the military, Rinda. Like any soldier, I must obey orders, and those orders come directly from the king. I’m not the king’s advisor and my power is ultimately meant to be used to protect him and Cordonia.”

Rinda was slowly nodding her head. Not that she was agreeing, but she was acknowledging that she heard him and was taking it in. “I’m glad that you told me about what happened to Riley and your role in everything. I know you didn’t have to do that, that I probably would have never found out. Thank you for that. And thank you for listening to me and for explaining your perspective. I know we view things very differently, but I do understand where you are coming from, and at least logically I understand why you carried out that order. Bastien, was there anything else you wanted to say?”

Bastien looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Rinda smiled. “Sorry . . . Jameson and I always did that. I need some time to process things, and I need to be away from you to do that. That’s why I asked. It’s kind of an ‘any last words’ before I retreat into myself for a bit.”

“Oh. No, I don’t think so. But I’m glad that you listened to what I had to say.”

Rinda gave a small smile. “Bastien, I’m just saying this to be honest with you. Just be warned that I do hang onto things for a long time.” Bastien nodded, but he knew better than to do any more than that. “So I might be awkward with you, or I might ask you the same questions and have you tell me the exact same thing again. I know that’s rehashing. And it might be something where I suddenly bring it up again out of nowhere, and I’m not doing that to hurt you or fight dirty. It’s honestly something where I didn’t even know it was bothering me until something else triggered it.” She gave a sad smile. “That sort of happened when I started talking about Jameson and his injury just now. I hold these grudges and can’t fucking let go of some things, and I never know what’s going to set me off again.”

Bastien gave her a thoughtful look. A lot of things about Rinda, the things she said and didn’t say, made more sense the more he got to know her. Lorinda Rose Parks. Rinda Rose. So many layers of petals to make one beautiful flower.

Rinda gave a shaky laugh. “I’m seriously a pain in the ass, but I’m telling you what I do, what I need to do. So like I said, if there’s anything else you wanted to say, or if you want to tell me how you need to process stuff like this, please let me know.”

Bastien was silent. He didn’t know what to make of Rinda’s explanation and what he should do about it right now, but he could see that she was trying to give him a roadmap to navigate the next step of their friendship. It sounded like he just needed to give her space and to be patient when she brought this up again. Fuck. Did this discussion even accomplish anything? He hated this shit. Relationships. Complications. Why did he have to care about her so much?

Rinda stood up. She didn’t say anything, but he knew that was his clue to leave. “I am glad that you came, Bastien. Thank you.” Bastien stared awkwardly, not sure if he should take her hand or . . . normally she took the lead, rescuing him when he wasn’t sure. Rinda started at him a moment, and slowly shook her head. He wasn’t allowed to touch her, but she did speak again. “We’re going to be okay, Bastien. And we’re still going to work well together to protect the kids. But anything more than this, for right now, I’m either going to shut down or lash out. I need to defrag now. I’ll see you Monday, okay?”

Bastien nodded. He let himself out and Rinda shut the door, not bothering to walk him out or watch him out the window.

Now it was time to unpack the baggage, take out each piece and overanalyze it. It was time to throw away the logic and to embrace her emotions. To hash, rehash, second guess, and replay every word, every facial expression. To submerse herself in the pain of his betrayal, without any guilt of whether it should even be considered betrayal to her or not. All that mattered tonight were her own perspectives and feelings--logic and Bastien’s explanations be damned.

#bastien lykel #choices trr #ofc rinda parks

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prkcr · 6 years

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hey there demons, it’s me, ya girl...again. and if you don’t know who i am, then my name is sam, she / her, 21, est timezone and i’m so excited to be here! i wasn’t feeling very inspired with luna so i decided to switch her out with an old favorite muse of mine! ( truly i......love this garbage can SO MUCH. ) that being said, let’s look at the theories! aka i’m a buzzfeed unsolved stan and parker’s intro will be under the cut, so feel free to give that a look and message me if you would like to plot!

「 DANIEL SHARMAN, CISMALE, 27, RISE AGAINST. 」┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on RILEY PARKER? he is the LEAD GUITARIST in RENEGADE, one of my favorite HARDCORE PUNK groups. they’ve been releasing music for FIVE YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last MONTH. get this, i think i heard HE COULD BE FACING JAIL TIME DUE TO AN ALTERCATION WITH PAPARAZZI. they’re known as the MISFIT of the music industry, since they have a rep for being DAUNTLESS but TEMERARIOUS, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1.

so, this guy right here...riley ignatius parker...will throw hands if you call him anything other than parker. it’s what everyone calls him. you gotta be really special to call him riley and not immediately get decked for it

parker was born to a wealthy family in a small but affluent village called alderley edge in cheshire, england. his family is stupid rich, hails from a long line of architects and business people. he spent his early years sheltered and pampered and homeschooled by tutors and nannies, so his parents never spent much time with him, but that’s okay because he never really got along with his parents anyway.

has an identical twin brother named rian who he never ever talks about mostly because they absolutely DESPISE each other. rian thinks parker is a disgrace to their family name, parker thinks his brother is a sheep who turned out exactly like their parents because he always did whatever they said without question. they haven’t seen each other in ages and for the longest time all their interactions have ended in ( usually physical ) fights anyway.

parker’s always been a HUGE TROUBLEMAKER with a restless nature and desire to ~be free~, so his wealthy, uptight, lowkey shady af parents who are obsessed with the family’s image could never really deal with him and eventually resorted to sending him off to boarding schools all over england, just one after the other bc ofc he kept getting kicked out for one reason or another.

about the only thing he enjoyed about his childhood and schooling were his music lessons. he was taught to play piano, violin, and even the harp. other things like math and history and science didn’t come easily to him at all, but music? he was great at it, and he’s always loved it. during his teen years while away at boarding school was when he first procured an electric guitar and learned to play. along with that, he also discovered punk music, aka the greatest thing in the entire fucking universe if you ask him. far as music goes, he'd found his calling in his early teenage years, but it would take a while for that to really feel legitimate to parker.

he was basically that rebellious kid in all the movies who wore doc martens with his prim & proper school uniform and carried around a pocket knife and cut class to go smoke while vandalizing school property and would absolutely fuck up some prissy pretty boy’s face just for looking at him the wrong way.

literally the only reason he actually graduated rather than flunking out or getting kicked out of every fancy boarding school in the uk was because his father was able to pull some strings aka bought his very last boarding school a whole new library wing. parker did actually consider running away a few times, but there was a part of him really reaaaaally deep down that actually enjoyed some aspects of school ( though he very strongly believes many education systems across the world need a serious overhaul and blahblahblah don’t ask him unless you want a lecture ). anyway, the moment he was done with school, he did finally skip out on...well, everything and everyone and ditched the country altogether, heading out first to new york city for about two years, then california for the last seven.

he’s been completely independent of his parents since the age of 18 and hasn’t had any access to their money since they cut him off for basically running away from home and since renegade only recently hit it big, he’s probably still a little poor tbh.

and since moving to california he’s been jumping from disgusting apartment to disgusting apartment and from shitty job to shitty job. played in various bands on the side, mostly for fun and even sometimes as a frontman himself, but when he joined renegade about five years ago as the lead guitarist, he immediately knew that this was his place. parker absolutely loves being in the band and wouldn’t trade it for anything at all. that being said, the fame that’s sorta popped in out of nowhere in the past month ( ever since renegade signed with a major record label ) has been...something else. being that he’s from a prominent and wealthy family he’s quite used to attention, but he’s also one of those everyone in hollywood is so fake where’s the real people making real music types and seeing as he has a very very short temper...well, parker’s already got a reputation for being a bad boy and yeah, he actually kind of is. he’s especially not a big fan of the paparazzi and is known to be very rude with them and get into actual physical fights with them he will throw hands with a n y o n e i’m telling you. his most recent run - in with a photographer who wouldn’t leave him alone even after parker told him to fuck off a few times ended in him being charged with assault and battery. long story short, he beat the guy’s face in with his own camera. parker’s...eh about it. he doesn’t really care? if you ask him, the guy should’ve just left alone when he told him to and it’s not like parker hasn’t been to jail before. he’s a vandal, a thief, gets into fights more often than he breathes but hey he usually wins so there’s that

i think that’s all i have for backstory atm though i will update this post if i ever feel it necessary. anyway, onto personality!

looks like he could kill you and could actually kill you

that’s it that’s all you need to know

nah jk there’s actually a few more things! first off, he’s basically the living breathing personification of the jerk with a heart of gold tv trope. so, he seems like a major jerk most of the time and that’s because he kind of is. especially around hollywood people, he’s standoffish and snide and just all - around has a bad attitude. he’s very short tempered and impulsive af, but underneath all of that he’s actually an observant and caring person. like, he’s not very book smart but he’s good at reading people and WOW DOES HE FEEL EVERYTHING SO DEEPLY. he’s a ridiculously passionate person. he feels everything all the time. every emotion is felt in extremes and the one that’s usually most prominent? ANGER.

see, parker is just a very angry person because he’s seen the way things are in the world. he’s lived a life of wealth and unimaginable opulence, but then he’s also been so poor that he’s slept beside dumpsters in alleyways. there are so many people out there who need healing in so many ways and he’s seen it for himself so he knows it’s true. yet, nobody really seems to wanna help. so many people seem to be involved in activism for show or for good person points and he just he HATES it. he constantly wants to scream about all of the unfair things going on in the world and how much he wants to just make them better because he is actually a rather compassionate person when someone is in need.

like, he’s the type of guy who says thank you to waiters and janitors and average, working class people — though i imagine anyone who doesn’t know him very well would be surprised by that.

thinks robin hood was a guy with some great ideas

feminist af

extremely sarcastic

also extremely english. he talks with a very thick accent ( similar to how daniel sharman talks actually if you wanted that point of reference for some reason ) and yeah, he’s fulfilling a stereotype here but he doesn’t care — he loves a good cup of tea.

not usually one to initiate conversations but once he actually gets into talking he can be a pretty cool person to talk with. he actually has a lot to say about many different topics and if you can handle his constant like every other word swearing, then parker might just be your guy to have a deep af conversation with at 3am

along that deep af vein, he enjoys the songwriting process a lot and i imagine he’s very involved in it with renegade. he totally doesn’t seem like the type, but he’s got this old messy notebook that he takes with him everywhere and it’s just full of song ideas and other random things. it’s basically a physical manifestation of parker’s brain, so he’s probably not about to just hand it off to some random person. if you want notebook privileges then he’s gotta trust you that’s just how it is

also, a total lovesick fool when he's got a thing for someone — a soft but only for you type and it’s highkey cute af

doesn’t care much for wealth at all. he’s lived that life before, didn’t like it, and these days he’d rather wear his favorite old band shirt stained with motor oil and eat greasy diner food ( mostly french fries ) than have some grandiose celebrity experience.

not the easiest person to befriend or be friends with, but if you do have him for a friend then guess what? you have him FOR LIFE. parker is super loyal — a true ride or die but don’t fuck it up with him because if you do he will hold a grudge forever

which reminds me: he’s got a motorcycle and HE LOVES IT. he pretty much built it himself from scratch and it’s just...it’s literally his child ok he will FREAK IF YOU TOUCH HIS MOTORCYCLE OK /F R E A K/ LIKE DON’T EVEN LOOK AT IT THE WRONG WAY

i feel like his reputation precedes him even though he hasn’t been around very long and that’s definitely thanks that messy altercation with the paparazzi. like, he literally beat this photographer up with his own fucking camera?? word has definitely gotten around and i think some people might be wary or even afraid of him??

though really aside from his short temper he really is and really tries to be a decent guy. anyone who knows him well would see that very clearly and honestly, that’s probably why they stick around even though he can be very difficult.

i think that’s probably enough from me for the moment, right? there’s probably some stuff i’m forgetting, but if i don’t get to a bio page then i’ll just edit this with anything else. i also don’t have a plot page yet but i definitely want all of the connections, so please do feel free to message me if you would like to plot! i’m so excited to write with you all!

#viral:intro #violence tw #this is a disaster and i'm sure i'm forgetting things even though this is novel length nonsense but hey please do message me for plots!

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