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ithebookhoarder · 8 months

Note

Hey! I love your writing🥹 If you’re taking requests, please could I get your take on: female reader & Javi P are in a relationship. She finds out she’s pregnant a couple of weeks before a huge raid and hides it from everyone. During the raid she gets cornered by one of Pablo’s men and screams “I’m pregnant, I’m pregnant” Javi’s hears over the radio, his head snaps up and he takes off running to find her, Steve not far behind. + the aftermath once they get back to the embassy. Thank you ❤️

Crossroads (Javier Peña x AFAB!Reader)

A/n: MY HEART 💔 Thank you to whoever sent this gem in! I promise I’m also working on all the other requests in my inbox. I have them all started as drafts, but I get random bursts of inspiration for one at a time and then this happens. I’m so sorry for those of you patiently waiting - I will get to finishing them. Soon. This one just popped in my inbox and ran away with me... oops?

Warnings: Swearing, violence, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of possible termination of pregnancy, injury, references to drugs and the cartel.

Masterlist

You didn’t know why you hadn’t told Javi. It seemed strange now, to think that you hadn’t told the one person who deserved the most to know.

Maybe it was denial? Fear? Fear that he’d react badly? Fear he’d react with excitement?

You couldn’t be sure, but why you hadn’t told him didn’t matter now so much as the fact itself. You hadn’t told Javi you were pregnant, and now it was too late.

Now, you were stood inside a crappy warehouse, alone, waiting on a contact to confirm intelligence for a raid you had planned for later that night. Sure, you could tell him tonight once this whole mess was over with, but that was dependant on both of you getting out of this operation unscathed - and whilst you were both great agents, you’d learned long ago never to under-estimate the prey you hunted.

Escobar and his network were intelligent, well connected, and somehow always one step ahead. It was why you relied so heavily on contacts such as the one you were meeting right now.

Only eighteen, Sophia was the daughter of one of Escobar’s runners and desperate to get herself and her family away from the cartel.

She had approached you some weeks ago, begging and pleading for your help fleeing the country. In exchange she had offered the one thing of value she had - intel. Positioned close enough to the organisation to gather information, Sophia was also removed enough not to attract attention or suspicion. Hell, she said none of Escobar’s men even acknowledged her existence unless they wanted a drink, a smoke, or to paw at something during their visits.

It seemed like a perfect opportunity for everyone involved. Or, it had, should you say… now, staring at your watch as the minutes ticked by with no sign of the young girl, you began to suspect something was wrong.

God damn it.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you tried to fight the urge to radio out to the surveillance van positioned further down the street. There was no need to get them worked up yet, not when Sophia could just be running late… the last thing you needed was Javi or Steve getting antsy and pulling you out, blowing your cover and fucking up the raid you had planned for later tonight.

No, those two had always been protective over you, long before you and Javi had started seeing each other romantically. It was frustrating, even if a little flattering at the same time, to know you had two such loyal friends and partners.

They never held the fact that you were a woman against you, but then again they’d never had cause to. Now? Now you were a walking stereotype. A liability. A pregnant woman carrying her partner’s child whilst trying to run ops in the middle of a war zone… They’d pull you out of the field so fast it would make your head spin - something you had worked too hard to risk. Not until you were certain… certain it was what you wanted, hence your decision to keep things quiet for now.

In fact, the only person who was aware that something was different about you was Connie, and that was because you had needed her help to confirm it.

What with her job at the clinic, and being Steve’s wife, Connie was the best option when it came to confirming your fears, rather than trying to risk a visit to a local doctor - one who was likely to talk to whoever would ask, no matter whether it was one of Escobar’s men, or even someone who could feed it back to the embassy.

No. Connie was your only choice, being both discreet and loyal to a fault - something you had never been more grateful for than now. That, and she was your closest friend outside of the office. There was no one else you wanted more to be holding your hand whilst you waited to find out if this was actually happening.

She had also been more than willing to talk you through your options afterwards, promising to honour your wishes no matter what you decided - even if she kept trying to convince you to tell Javi.

"He deserves to know," she'd sighed softly, holding your hand and wiping away your tears. "He's kind and he loves you. All he'd want is to support you. You know that."

If only you could be so sure of that.

Javi? A baby? The two things didn't seem compatible, even if he did have a soft spot for Olivia, but she wasn't his... a biological child that was yours to raise, protect, and nurture... it was a whole other situation - and given that Javi thought coffee was a food group, a situation you weren't sure he was ready for yet.

Hell, you weren't even sure you were ready for this yet, which was probably why you hadn’t made any decision other than to just carry on working like nothing was wrong until such a time as the answer came to you... if it came to you... or perhaps the universe would answer it for you...

Why else would you be risking your neck here in this warehouse, late at night, distracting yourself and delaying the inevitable moment where you’d be forced to chose?

After all, inaction was still action in this kind of situation. You knew you couldn't keep putting off the conversation forever, but that didn't make it any easier to know what to say or do in this situation.

Thankfully, that was the moment you were startled from your spiralling thoughts as footsteps echoed across the room.

You recognised the sound as someone came in, closing the squeaking rusted door you’d already entered through.

“Sophia?”

You watched as the girl crept from the darkness, nervously tugging at her sleeves.

You paused.

As timid as Sophia had seemed previously when you met one another, you still felt something was off as she moved towards you. It was like the energy rolling off of her was wrong... sending shivers running down your spine as you felt your fingers twitch towards the gun sat at your side.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah, over here,” you called, “I was starting to think you weren't going to show.”

It was like watching a rabbit, twitching, with wide eyes, like she was about to bolt at the first sound. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? What for?” you asked. “It’s ok. You could have called to say you were going to be late but-”

Then you heard it.

The click as the gun was cocked behind you.

Without even turning you knew you had been betrayed.

“Sophia,” you sighed, trying not to let the fury show on your face as you stared at the sobbing girl in front of you. After all, you couldn’t really blame her had you been in her situation. You should have expected it, actually. The call had been far too easy and the information too tantalising for the DEA to pass up.

Still, that didn’t change the fact you were now here… stuck… held at gun point by the two men who had entered the room when you weren’t looking.

Shit.

You really had been distracted tonight and now you were paying the price for your mistakes.

“I’m sorry.”

The apology was barely audible through the girl’s tears.

“Me too, kid. Me too.”

You watched as one of the men kept his gun trained on you, whilst the other marched over to Sophia and shoved the wad of cash into her hand before pushing her out the door in a clear message to beat it. They had what they wanted, as did Sophia - she had her life and her freedom, for now.

Who knew how long it would actually last...

Hell, who knew how long you’d last given this sudden change of events?

The door had barely shut behind her when the man who’d given her the cash turned back towards you.

“So, you’re the one who’s been snooping around? Trying to get our girl to talk?” he teased, his tone cold and mocking. “Don’t you know what happens to little girls who stick their noses in places it don’t belong?”

The threat was clear as he grinned, his friend walking around you so that you could see the gun held in his hand, pointing directly at you.

Your own gun was snatched from its position at your side, tucked instead into the man's jeans for safe keeping.

“Well, lucky for you, the boss wants to know what you know, and where you got that intel from,” your captor continued, his tone oozing with a sick satisfaction. “If you tried to make a rat out of Sophia, who knows who else you’ve got squeaking away in your gringo ear. So, you see, we can’t just kill you, else I’d be pulling this trigger right here and now… but when we’re through with you, you’ll wish I had.”

You couldn't help it. You flinched as the man nearest you stepped closer, gesturing towards the door with his gun in an obvious signal.

“Move,” he hissed. “Now.”

Shit.

You take a deep breath, trying to remind yourself that you weren’t alone. That your comms were still in place, and that there were still men positioned outside the warehouse. The moment you emerged, with two men holding you at gun point they would be surrounded.

But would that be before or after they had the chance to pull the trigger and plant a bullet in the back of your skull?

You’d seen enough of these hostage situations to know how they went down, to know that the hostage didn’t always make it out… the directive was to remove the sicarios - they were the priority.

Not you.

It was that thought that made your stomach roll as you began to move, legs shaking so hard you weren’t sure you could stand.

"Where are we going?” you stammered, you mouth so dry you can hardly form the words.

“Shut up, bitch," the thug sneered, shoving you forward. You could practically taste his contempt. “Keep walking unless you want me to shoot you in the leg and drag you myself.”

You knew he’d do it too. He seemed the type to be cruel - to get off on inflicting pain and exercising what tiny slither of power he had.

However, you also knew that letting these guys move you to a second location was as good as a death sentence.

No, this was it.

You had to make your final stand here and now if you even wanted a chance of making it out of this in one piece.

It was for that reason you said a silent prayer before clenching your fists. Two on one… it wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t the worst odds either. You just had to be smart. After all, they needed you alive for now - they’d foolishly revealed that much.

You could work with that.

"You do realise that waiting outside those doors is a whole bunch of DEA agents, right?" you jabbed. "You walk outside with that gun pointed at me and you're dead."

"Shut up, bitch," the man with the gun snapped back sharply. "You think we're gonna fall for that? Nice try. Now, get moving."

"Hey, it's your funeral."

"I said shut up-"

"Dude, maybe we should go out the other way," his colleague interjected, the hesitation exactly what you'd been hoping for. "We can get the van round out the back, off the road and out of sight of any police."

"No."

You took the distraction as your cue.

The moment you felt the gun drop from your back you were on them, throwing the weapon upwards and sending the resulting shot up into the ceiling.

Your foot was next, smashing up between the man’s legs in a well rehearsed manoeuvre, followed by your elbow slamming into the other man's face, stopping him before he could reach for you.

The few precious seconds you'd bought yourself were all you needed to make a run for it, bolting back towards the doors up ahead.

Your fingers reached up, squeezing the switch on the side of the mic you had taped under your collar, ready to call for back up.

But you never got the chance.

Your fingers had just grazed the switch when you felt something collide with you from behind. A great weight that sent you crashing down onto the ground, hard.

You tried to roll over, only to be met with a fist slamming into your face, too fast for you to even try and block him.

The ferocious assault caused your head to bounce off of the concrete with a sickening thud. Pain exploded, your eyes filling with tears, and your vision blurred as the shock of the impact resonated, unleashing agony that pulsed through your skull.

A silent cry escaped your lips, full of shock and pain.

Shit.

Your assailant jumped off of you, following through with a swift, vicious kick to your ribs, knocking all the air from your lungs with the force of the blow.

Scrunching your eyes tightly, you tried to fight the nausea and pain, to fight for a precious breath.

“Stop,” you begged, hating how weak you sounded. However, something inside you roared, an urge to fight taking over you - but not just for yourself, but for the future that was growing inside of you... a future you hadn’t been sure of until right now…

Now, as you stood to lose it.

It suddenly didn’t matter if Javi wanted this baby or not, or if he would be happy or terrified or disappointed. What mattered was that he would never get the chance to be any of those things, to decide for himself, to have the opportunity to choose what life he wanted.

He needed to know… you couldn’t die here, without him knowing…

“Stop, please!" you pleaded. "I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant!”

Without even thinking, you curled your legs in tight, huddling into a ball and trying to block your stomach before he could land the next blow.

However, it never came.

“Hold on!” your assailant’s partner scolded. "Not here. The boss wants her alive for now.”

He paused. "The bitch deserves it!"

Then you heard it - the door slamming open. The thundering of boots running across concrete towards you. Orders barked in Spanish.

You watched as your assailants silently gaped in horror, raising their hands above their heads as they were suddenly surrounded by figures...

Why was it so hard, all of a sudden, to make things out?

It was hard to distinguish one sound from another, to see anything beyond colours and shapes as your world began to dissolve. The warehouse was replaced by a dark haze that seemed determined to consume you no matter how hard you fought against it.

“Y/N!”

Javi’s voice echoed in your ears, a swirling sound full of panic, yet it somehow made you feel calm... safe...

“Y/N!”

“Javi,” you croaked, as you felt yourself slipping into the darkness.

Your body had turned into cement.

That was the first thought that crossed your muddled mind as you felt the beginnings of consciousness returning to you. It was as if every part of you had decided to refuse to respond to your demands, held down by invisible weights.

You'd been knocked unconscious once or twice before in your lifetime, but this grogginess was a first... an uncomfortable and disconcerting force, trapping you on the brink of the land of living.

You had no choice but to lay there, helplessly listening to the sounds around you, each becoming clearer as your faculties gradually returned

Machinery beeping.

Footsteps passing in the hallway.

Voices caught in frantic conversations.

"- Javi, calm down. I know. I'm the one who should be feeling guilty, letting her walk in there by herself." "We all thought the meet was secure, Murphy. How could we know she was gonna turn on us? And Y/N, the crazy, stupid - Why didn't she tell me?"

Javi’s voice was full of anguish.

"Dude, calm down. Y/N’s the strongest person I know. She’s alive and gonna wake up. You heard the doctor, the swelling in her head is down and she’s going to wake up. That’s all that matters now. You can discuss the baby, and what you’re going to do, later."

The baby? You caught the words, a weird rush of relief flooding through you at the confirmation that your baby was alright...

Thank god.

And Javi knew?

That thought echoed over and over in your mind as you felt yourself beginning to fade back into the darkness from which you had come.

Stubble softly scraping the back of your hand was the first thing you noticed when you finally came to. That, and the pressure of someone squeezing your hand tightly.

You knew the grip without even opening your eyes. You'd felt it often enough, the rough calloused hand holding yours, brushing against you, touching every single part of you... "You've got to wake up, honey," came an also familiar sound, luring you ever closer to the land of the living.

You'd know that voice anywhere, considering it had become your constant companion. It was the first thing you heard every morning and the last thing you heard at night.

"Please," it continued. "I'm so sorry, ok? Sorry for everything - for making you feel like you couldn't tell me about this. Just... shit... I need you to wake up, cause I fucking love you and I can't- can't lose you-"

Somehow, that was all it took. Those words flipped a switch inside you, allowing you to find the strength to peel your eyes open and register the full extent of your surroundings - including the man sat beside you.

Turning your head, you were greeted with a sight so perfect a part of you thought you must still be dreaming.

Javi.

Sat next to you, you realised he had your hand pressed to his cheek, his lips pressing soft kisses to it in between words.

He didn't seem to notice the fact that you had stirred, so lost in his desperation. It was probably why he jumped, flinching as you reached over with your free hand to run your fingers through his hair.

"I love you too," you croaked in greeting.

“Y/N?”

Javi had never seemed so fragile as he did then. Eyes wide, he looked nothing like the ice-cold DEA agent you often glimpsed in the field. Instead, he looked like one good gust of wind would send him toppling to the ground had he not already been sat down in one of the plastic chairs that you had come to recognise from your repeated visits.

“Javi, where - where am I?" you continued softly, "What happened? What day is it?" "Sssh. It’s alright. It's almost Saturday. You've been unconscious for over twenty-four hours, even if it felt fucking longer.” His hands were warm as they cupped both sides of your face, guiding you towards him as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

It was as if neither of you could get close enough to one another, you curling yourself eagerly into his side, breathing in the soft scent of his cologne and cigarette smoke.

“I... I’m sorry,” you choked, the words tumbling out of you before you could even realise what you were saying. “It was my fault. I should have known that something was wrong-”

“No,” Javi scolded, tensing at your guilt-ridden tone. "No, don't say that. Don't - don't do that to yourself. This isn't on you. It's a fuck up - a colossal fuck up, yes, but one we didn't see coming. We vetted the source. She was good. We cleared the meet with Carillo and the Ambassador... there was no way we could have prevented this."

"But-?"

"Carino. Stop. Please," he begged. Yes, Javi actually begged and it was enough to stun you into silence. "I just... talking about the meet? I honestly don't care about all that right now. The who, why how of what happened will still fucking be there later... but right now? Now, you're here... you're alive... and you're finally awake."

His tone melted your heart, making you somehow wish you could absorb every ounce of pain he was experiencing. It hurt you, to know you had caused the man you loved such agony. In a way, you'd had a slightly easier time of it, being the one to sleep through the after math of this disaster. He had had the hardest job; waiting, watching, and worrying.

You knew that pain yourself, having experienced it firsthand since your arrival in Colombia. You'd never forget how it had nearly torn you apart, waiting as Javi had been admitted after a close shave in a shoot-out.

Those two days had felt like an eternity. Two days with no news... just sitting and waiting and praying.

“I ... I could hear you, by the way.”

“What?”

“I heard you,” Javi repeated softly, snapping you out of your head and solidly back into the present, “over the radio. I heard what you said when those assholes hit you - about the baby-”

You froze.

Despite knowing that this moment would inevitably come, now that it was finally upon you, you suddenly wished you were back in the realm of unconsciousness you'd just come from.

"Javi," you began nervously, your voice barely above a whisper. "Please, don't be mad at me-"

“-Well, too bad, sweetheart because I am mad. So mad," he exclaimed sharply, "I'm mad at you for not telling me, for putting yourself in danger like that, knowing you're pregnant. I’m not saying you had to decide to keep it or whatever, but it would have been fucking nice to be asked. To know. To not find out after you put yourself on the line." "I- I didn't know what else to do."

“And I’m sorry for making you feel like that,” Javi added swiftly, his tone softening with every passing moment.

It was like watching the air deflating out of a tire, the fear and the rage dissipating almost as quickly as it had first appeared.

“I get it, why you may not have wanted to tell me... I’m mad at myself that you felt you had to do this alone. I thought you’d trust me enough to know I’d support you, no matter what you decided.”

“I do, Javi,” you sobbed, unable to prevent a tear from escaping your eye. “I just... I got scared and I panicked. I think keeping it secret was more my way of pretending this wasn't real, that I could act like it wasn't happening, that I had more time.”

Silence.

“Javi, please say something. Anything...”

"What's there to say? You're pregnant." He shrugged in a desperate attempt to look nonchalant, but you could see the truth. Underneath it all, Javier Peña was utterly terrified.

It didn't matter how much he tried to hide it behind that calm swagger of his, and the crossing of his arms over his chest - you knew him better than anyone. You'd seen him at his very best and his very worst. Such was the lot of living in a war zone, let alone falling in love in one.

Fighting the urge to let your tears escape your burning eyes, you reached over and took his hands in yours. To your relief, he didn't fight you. Instead, he lifted his gaze, his eyes wide and telling you all you needed to know without even asking.

He had obviously spent the last 24 hours mulling the entire situation over and over in his head since the moment he had first heard the news. Lord knows he'd probably imagined each and every possible outcome for the future... your future... "Y/N, I don't know what to say or do. I never even thought about being a parent."

"Me either..." you confessed, relieved to finally be able to say the words aloud to the man who'd needed to hear them the most. "I mean, could the timing be better? yes. I never pictured something like this happening so early on, but it has and now we have a choice to make. To have longer, just the two of us... Or to become a family of three, but either way we'll work it out together. I will love you unconditionally, no matter what you choose but you're my partner, Javi. You have a say in this too. We're a team."

"Y/N," Javi whispered, his voice pained. "I ... I thought I'd lost you... back there in that warehouse, seeing you lying on the ground, knowing I could have lost you, lost this - it was all my worst fears realised." Gently taking your head between his hands, he wiped the tears away. "I love you, too," he declared. "And... if you want this, with me, then I'll try to be a good father."

It was as if a weight had been taken off of you. To know that he was with you, no matter what... that was all you'd ever wanted.

"That's all I can ask for, Javi," you whimpered, failing to hide the playful smile that fell into place, "because let's face it; you don't have much choice anyway, because I'm not going anywhere."

Javi's own signature smirk tugged at his lips. “Good, because I can't lose you... I can't be left with just Murphy. Can you imagine? We'd drive ourselves into an early grave.”

"Javi!"

It felt blissful for you both the be able to laugh again. To joke like nothing had changed between you, even if it had - for the better, ultimately.

“Speaking of... Where’s Steve?”

Javi paused. “Went with Connie to get coffee - I feel I should mention that Steve’s pissed you didn't tell him too, you know.”

You groaned. You weren't surprised. “I’ll add him to the list of apologies. Do you think making him and Connie godparents would make it better?”

“Woah there,” Javi scoffed, the beginning of a smile tugging at his lips. “One day at a time, querida. One day at a time.”

#ithebookhoarder #masterlist #thesilentmage #javier peña x you #javier pena x reader #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier pena x you #narcos x reader #narcos fanfic #narcos fanfiction #narcos imagine #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal x reader #steve murphy x you #steve murphy x reader #narcos

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undead-supernova · 22 days

Text

Right Here, Right Now

Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11

Masterlist

plot: corroded coffin's eddie munson agrees to an interview for the first time in three years, alongside a new album that is most definitely about you.

Pairings: modernrockstar!Eddie x fem!popstar!Reader (curvy!reader, bisexual!reader)

Warnings: talks of familial death, depressing lyricism, angst

wc: 4.1k

note: I also wrote all of the lyrics in this chapter and made the images above of the album's cover and tracklist. I feel so proud of how much my hard work is paying off. DON'T USE THESE LYRICS ANYWHERE ELSE THANK YEW

Just one more mile.

You could do it. No, really, you could.

Tour really was coming up in the next six months and you had to build up your stamina now or else you weren’t going to survive. Things really were better now, though. You’d gotten rid of your personal trainer and switched to someone who did not suggest that you stop eating. It seemed like Sophia was a better fit anyways. If anything, she told you to eat more.

So here you were, on your poor attempt at a night run.

And you promised yourself that you wouldn’t think about him and how his album was dropping any day now.

Definitely, definitely not.

It was nearly midnight anyways, a few out from the witching hour but that’s not how it went for you. If anything, you were cursed with the threat of midnight being the worst hour of each day. It was like some switch flicked on and you were a mess of a woman, splayed out in bed and thinking. Furiously scribbling in a notebook as you lost to the thoughts in your head. Curled up in a ball in the shower, the white noise perfect for your never-ending thinking.

And who could forget sitting in your kitchen with a bowl of Kraft mac and cheese. Don’t forget the thinking.

Thinking about Eddie. His voice. The way he was willing to give you more than you deserved without any rhyme or reason. How desperate you felt to reconnect, to apologize profusely and beg for some semblance of forgiveness.

And now you were here, trying to outrun your problems while watching the headlights passing the windowpane.

Tried to stop thinking about how at any moment, Eddie could show up and you’d fall into his arms without any question. You’d tell him it didn’t matter. None of it did. And he’d say he wasn’t mad anymore and that he missed you and then you’d go on living like you once did.

Before you could lose yourself to wishing on headlights, a notification popped up on your phone.

Spotify exclusive: Listen to Corroded Coffin’s new album now!

Without any warning, you lost your footing on the treadmill and fell backwards. Hit your head on the floor, stunned. Let the pain throb in your head for only a few seconds before you dragged your body upright and clicked on the album.

Your eyes scanned the track list, heart pumping incessantly as a bead of blood rushed down your forehead.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Quickly, you threw yourself into the shower to wash off before grabbing headphones and padding into your walk-in closet. Situated yourself in the back corner, your body fitting snuggly in isolation.

And as you pressed that green play button, your grief washed over you at every line you called your favorite.

Welcome Home

“Dad’s disappearing acts and the award-winning smile

saying ‘sure, I’ll be comin’ back’

Well, I guess we’re both suckers for a little hope every once in a while

And, mom, is that why you stayed? Waited up praying, decaying all alone

Just so one day, you’d be able to say, ‘Welcome home’.”

Fever

“How could you ever fight a fever? God dammit, she’s more than a flame

Got her pinning me down, locked inside her heat wave

Sweat dripping, flesh gripping, I melt from her gaze

Just one more round, promise I’ll behave

Come on, darling, why don’t you set me ablaze?”

The Cost

“I ruined all the plans that hadn’t been made

Loving you as the bellbirds erupted in a haunted chorus

Rosy pink clouds turned into showers of blood and hate

I’m trying, baby, I’m trying to find a way out for us

But isn’t that the cost, darling?

Isn’t that the price of being with me?”

Tailor-Made

“We’re the only ones walking through the neighborhood

Sweetheart, don’t you think I know how to hide?

I’d never speak it, but I’d buy every house if I could

Marry you in secret, raise our kids benevolent and kind.”

Rose Petals (Interlude)

“Take a boy-turned-man, crucifying himself at your altar

Convince him your devoted infatuation will never falter

Paint his skies a vibrant pink then turn him into sheet metal

Leave him bleeding out, fractured, scattered like rose petals.”

As Good As Dead

“What’s more cliché than a man saying he’d die without your love

At least if I had an open vein, I’d feel something better than being numb

‘There’s no such thing as fate’ my thoughts screamed so fucking loud

But there was comfort in blind faith, that ill-fated crowd

Had a grip on your throat. Shit, maybe it always has

But now that I’m as good as dead, I can’t help my bitter laugh.”

A Mirage of Lovers

“There sat Elizabeth and Al,

on the front porch of their first house

Blind with momentary affection

And I swear when I looked at you,

I thought you were a lasting confection

But I swear there’s a mirage of lovers

Blurring in its reflection.”

Deluge

“It’s all there in my head, all in disarray

A cesspool of memories, a desperation for change

Fought for my life, thought it was so I could see you

Mother, I know that you’re not here, I’m still trying to heal

But please tell me now that love has always been real

Yet I wonder if you ever believed it yourself."

Hotwire

“Al loved a nice Hotwire

Pull ‘em apart, let them fray, twist ‘em till they go insane

And, yeah, I guess everyone I love is the same.”

Fallen Hero (Interlude)

“Every time I pick up a pen

It’s destined to dry out

And I refuse to go outside, refuse to call my friends

What’s the point when they’ll never understand?

I’ll leave myself behind just to have a pinch of hope

But I come back down from daydreams covered in blood

Just gotta learn to change, learn to change

Learn to accept being the fallen hero."

Intangible

“There’s beauty in the ways of intangibility

Like the touch of a woman in blushing gardens far away

The curve of her hips blooming in shades of futility

Laughter billowing like smoke lingering in the archway

And there’s places she will never be able to evade

A bouquet, a veil, a lover lying await in the shade.”

Out of My Hands

“If I could hear your knock, brought back by my revery

Each rap, each tap still committed to my memory

But that’s up to you, darling, it’s all up to you

And it’s the end I’m stalling, just for you

And I love you, baby. I love you

I hope you know I always will

Even if it’s out of my hands.”

Wayne

“There’s a new family in the trailer, I really wish I could believe it

'Cause once I thought we'd buckle under the weight of all that labor

No more scrounging up pennies for another first-aid kit

And you’re not here, Wayne. No, you’re not here.”

Lighter

“Give me back my lighter, any excuse to see you

Let it flicker, sit by the flame from sunrise ’til noon

Come running back, consider your exile foregone

I choose you in the low glow of dusk, love you ‘til dawn.”

Makeup starting to smudge, an outrageously expensive crop top and skirt still on, you threw off your pumps and let your aching feet lead you to the kitchen. Your black, white, and neon orange plaid outfit reflected vibrantly off the refrigerator light as you decided instead to make crescent rolls. Why the fuck not?

You were absolutely exhausted. Sleep hadn’t been an option for you in the last twenty-four hours, what with Corroded Coffin’s album keeping you awake and the promo you’d done all day. When you’d finally arrived back to your small California home, you were irritated and in desperate need of some food.

However, as the oven began to preheat, your jumbled thoughts kept piling on top of one another. The fog was too loud for you, having to rush to your living room to grab one of your many notebooks and pens. Sat at the island and just journaled.

It was hard enough knowing that Eddie had written all of that for you. About you. The disappointment, the self-loathing. The guilt of not feeling good enough. Searching through the past mistakes of his parents to make sense of the way you fell apart. As if that was the inevitable ending to any story he was destined to begin.

You felt sick.

And even though you ate every single crescent roll, your words just sunk into the page. You could’ve sworn a third of the notebook itself was smeared in grease and flakes and the intense shame rising in your chest. It was everything you’d hated about the last six months and more, all the goddamn childish emotions and wails of what was fair and what wasn’t. As if this hadn’t been your decision in the first place.

Enough was enough when you finished your plate.

“Okay,” you mumbled to yourself before letting out a sound of frustration. “Distraction. Now.”

Grabbing your laptop, you threw yourself on your couch and logged onto YouTube. Maybe you’d watch a deep dive on an amusement park. Catch up on some commentary. Look up that one video of baby sloths talking that usually had you crying from affection.

But there on the front page was an interview with Corroded Coffin on the new album. There’d already been over a million views despite being posted that morning. Something pooled in your abdomen as you saw the thumbnail, all the members posing together.

And you knew you shouldn’t.

But fuck it, what’s a little more salt to your never-ending wounds?

As you clicked on the video, some interviewer you hadn’t heard of popped up smiling before he spoke.

“Hi, my name is Marcus Sanderson and today I’m interviewing one of the most successful metal bands in recent history, Corroded Coffin. They have been hitting commercial success lately, after their incredible album, Fire Shroud, held electronic influences which have begun to redefine and evolve the genre for the modern age.

"Their most recent album, Elizabeth & Al, has only propelled them forward. I was given the rare opportunity to talk to Eddie, Jeff, Gareth, Grant, and Ronnie about not only their writing and producing process, but their personal lives.

“First, we’ll open up with a cover of one of the band’s favorite songs of all time, ‘Solitude’ by Black Sabbath.”

It cut to the band and you couldn’t help a frustrated whine leaving your mouth at seeing him again. And, Jesus Christ, Eddie was fit like a daydream, donning a black Guns N’ Roses t-shirt with dark jeans and a long-sleeved plaid shirt tied at the waist. A shiny leather jacket, some custom-made Converse with Corroded Coffin across the bottom. Rings and bracelets galore, an obsidian choker hanging low on his neck. Black eyeliner that had wings along his lower lash line.

You didn’t think you’d ever felt so fucking weak for him.

He stood without his guitar for once, his full attention on his singing. Jeff, Gareth, Grant, and Ronnie were all decked out too, makeup mirroring Eddie’s. All looking refreshed and well-rested. You noticed there was someone else there in the background playing the flute and as they started the song with a gentle solo, it sounded ethereal.

“My name, it means nothing. My fortune is less

My future is shrouded in dark wilderness.”

Eddie avoided the camera, eyes darting around the room. You could see his fingers shaking, white-knuckled around the microphone despite the stability of the stand.

“Sunshine is far away, clouds linger on

Everything I possessed, now they are gone

They are gone.”

Absentmindedly chewing on your lip, you couldn't help but let it sink in. This wasn't just the band's favorite Black Sabbath song—this was Eddie's. He'd told you how the song ripped him apart. How he'd rather die than to ever relate to it personally.

“Oh, where can I go to and what can I do?

Nothing can please me, only thoughts are of you

You just left when I begged you to stay.”

He leaned back as he began to change the notes of the lyrics, his voice building into a belt. Like it was a wail, like he was the most furious man alive.

“I’ve not stopped crying since you went away

You went away…”

The instrumental sounded, the flute having its own solo. Extending the moment, extending the devastation that was demolishing your soul.

Eddie was crying now, wiping the corners of his eyes in the background. Smearing his eyeliner like he didn't care, nose tinged pink through the makeup. And when he came back to the mic, you could see the pain sitting in his eyes. All glassy, all excruciatingly fragile.

“The world is a lonely place, you’re on your own

Guess I will go home, sit down and mourn

Crying and thinking is all that I do

Memories I have remind me of you

Of you.”

The footage blurred, fading before cutting to Eddie sitting alone in a chair with the interviewer opposite him. Like they were in a house, all casual and at ease.

“We’re starting off by talking to the front man, Eddie Munson,” Marcus said to the camera, smiling before turning his attention back to Eddie. “It’s nice to see you, man. You look great.”

Eddie chuckled. “Great to be back.”

Marcus nodded. “That cover of ‘Solitude’ was incredible, by the way.”

You could see some color flood into Eddie’s cheeks. “Ah, thanks. Thank you.”

“Do you feel like you’ve been in a period of solitude?”

“Uh, to be honest, kinda. I know people are, like, freaking out just ‘cause I haven’t been in public.”

“Where’ve you been?”

“Just making sure I’m focused on the work,” He gestured to himself before mimicking a pushing motion “and not on the external stuff, you know?”

“As we all should. Would you tell me a bit about your new album? Personally, I’m curious as to why you specifically named it Elizabeth & Al.”

“Yeah, uh, those are my parents’ names. My mom passed away when I was a kid and my dad…well, he wasn’t the best. But I just couldn’t stop thinking about what happens when two people who love each other just end up falling apart. Like, you just feel like you’re as good as dead, you know? And I wondered if my parents had that sort of crash and burn before she died.

“I don’t talk about it much, but my dad had a lot of issues with addiction and gambling and crime after my mom died. I didn’t grow up with the generic parent bleep. It was more like I was his friend than a son and sometimes I was a business partner. And, I don’t know, I grew up thinking that love could’ve been so simple if he gave just a little bit of effort. But I still thought he and my mom had a simple love.”

“I’m guessing they didn’t.”

Eddie let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah, no. My dad was never really good at maintaining, like, any kind of control. And it’s so weird ‘cause all he ever did was try to have control over things. But it was self-sabotage, I think. He was never in control over his life. It felt so predestined.”

“What about your mom?”

He shrugged. “I’m not really sure. I think she just wanted love. Like, grasping for that shred of love that he provided every once in a while. ‘Cause it’s not like my dad was incapable of love. Just incapable of giving her everything. Maybe I’m projecting now, but you know what I mean.”

“So, is this album from the perspective of your parents?”

“Not exactly,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “They’re kinda just the reflection, you know? Like what I say on ‘A Mirage of Lovers’. Our parents end up being a kind of mirror we hold up to ourselves. And I think it’s up to us to decide if we’ll continue that cycle or not—especially in the face of heartbreak and loss. ‘Cause you can easily sit there and accuse yourself of being like your father or your mother. But ultimately, you’re just you. You’re not your parents.”

“And you wrote all of this within the last six months, correct?”

“Yeah, it was weird. Like, I just couldn’t stop writing. I was in such a dark place and the only thing I did was sit and write. And the band is so bleeping incredible. I showed them what I was thinking, and they were super, super receptive to it. And we got to work and got it done faster than anything else we’ve made.”

Marcus smiled, something genuine and real, shaking his head in disbelief. “That timeline really does shock me, just because it’s so seamless. There’s all these tiny details and every song just flows into one another.”

“Thanks, man. That means a lot. We kinda thought that having all the songs connect was sorta like, um, a stream of consciousness, essentially.” He started gesturing with his hands and you knew he was getting more comfortable. It almost made you smile. “Like, these thoughts all run together in a big loop. Like having one of those corkboards with all the evidence and red strings, you know? All of it just ends up running together and there’s no concrete answer. It just is.

“And, man. Jeff, Gareth, Grant, and Ronnie are just the best. They know me better than almost anyone and they seemed to automatically get what they needed to do. Just, like, boom, boom, boom. One after the other, we just got everything right. No one else helped produce this album and I think it shows just how much we’ve learned and evolved over our careers.”

You felt something freeze inside you when the interviewer mentioned your name.

Eddie tried his best to seem unaffected, but you knew he was starting to squirm. You could see the top of his knee as it bounced.

“Are you two still together?” Marcus asked. “What’s the story there?”

Eddie’s eyes wandered the room, probably trying to calculate the best way to go. You selfishly wanted him to say nothing about the breakup, to refuse to confirm that it was truly over.

He cleared his throat before scratching his temple.

“My relationship with her is private and just between us. It always has. But I guess since I finally have a chance to say whatever I want to say, I want to make it very clear that the way the media has treated her has been just disgusting and unwarranted. She is not some plastic, shiny doll for everyone to point and laugh at."

Eddie then straightened his posture as he looked straight into the camera. "Oh, and let me be clear. If you’re sitting there talking about her bleeping body, then you are a piece of bleeping bleep and I hope you burn in hell.”

Just like that, Marcus Sanderson moved on, the shot cutting away to a shot of the rest of the band sitting on a couch. But you weren’t listening anymore. Your head was swirling with a concoction of disbelief and epiphanies. Something…clicked.

Because you’d never had a partner mention you on a public scale. Never had a partner willing to scream your love from the top of the world and still retain privacy. Never had someone so willing to defend you despite your faults. Despite your arguments and downfalls.

And you were realizing that you…had done none of that for Eddie.

You’d sat there, in a dreamy haze because Eddie gave you everything he had. But had you really done any of those things back? Had you given him an ounce of what he gave you?

You thought back to the AMAs, when you walked around your answers. Nearly yelled at him for standing up for you. Dropped his hand when he wanted to tell you how proud he was. Hell, you even broke up with him because of what other people said. He thought you wanted nothing from him, that you weren’t interested anymore.

You never even said you loved him to his face.

You treated him exactly the way all your past partners treated you.

Eddie Munson had given you his world and you’d given him a fraction.

“I fucked up,” you whispered before you really processed what was happening. “I FUCKED UP!” you screeched, scrambling to stand up and check your phone.

1:13am.

Immediately dropped it, watching it slide under the couch.

“FUCK!” you screamed again.

Dropping to your knees and enduring the carpet burn, you reached down and felt around for your phone. But you froze as you felt something else, something smaller in size. Pulled it out, recognizing Eddie’s lighter immediately.

You flicked the lighter on, only encountering sparks the first two times. But when you watched it transform into a flame, something in your chest began to ache. It was the kindling of a once-wet fireplace, the first stroke of fire you’d felt in months. Teardrops fell freely down your chest as you found the will to fight.

Fight for what you knew you could never live without.

Fight for Eddie.

Give me back my lighter, any excuse to see you

Come running back, consider your exile foregone

Without any thought, you stuffed it into your top, found your phone, and popped up to search for some socks. Barely registered the color before yanking them on. You didn’t care how dressed up you were or how oily your face felt. How exhausted your body was or the residue of a crescent roll sticking to the side of your mouth.

You had to get to wherever Eddie was, and you had to get there now. If you didn’t talk to him tonight, you didn’t know if you’d make it to daylight.

But where was he?

The thought made you pause, hands shaking as you thought.

And before the panic could completely consume you, you called the one person who seemed to know everything.

“Woah, hello there.”

“Jeff.”

“Hey, long time no see. Where you been?”

“Jeff, I’m sorry, but I really need you to tell me if Eddie is in California right now.”

“Uh, yeah, he is.” You tugged your white Keds on, breathing a sigh of relief. “He’s been holed up in his place for the last few days. Why?”

“I just need to talk to him,” you said, nearly out of breath as you started sprinting to the garage. “I need to talk to him.”

“Ever thought about calling?”

“Nope.”

Jeff’s laughter rang through the receiver. “You’re crazy, girl. I’ll give you that one.” A huff left your nose as you climbed into your car. “You gonna tell him you’re in love with him?”

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

“Finally.”

“Are you mad at me?” you asked, dreading any answer he’d give.

“Not at all. Just don’t leave him hanging this time, okay? He hasn’t been okay in a really long time.”

“Neither have I. I’m hoping to fix this and let it stay fixed.”

“Go get your man.”

As the garage door lifted, you noticed the pouring rain.

Of course it started fucking storming within the last hour and a half you’d been home. Of fucking course.

“Bye, Jeff,” you said quickly.

“Bye, girl!”

As you filed out of your driveway, a black SUV was already pulling out behind you. The protection was part of the job. You knew this. But sometimes, you just wanted to tell Scott that you had shit to do on your own.

But there was no time for this.

You just continued to drive, letting the soft hum of “The Long And Winding Road” by The Beatles lead you right back to the very place you knew you belonged.

“Scott,” James acknowledged.

“James.”

It felt like a showdown, Scott stepping in front of you at the gates. As soon as you’d arrived, you’d been prevented from pulling into the driveway. And it was James who’d crossed his arms over his dauntingly ripped chest, staring you down like you’d committed a crime.

You couldn’t blame him.

“What’s the situation?”

You tried not to roll your eyes. “I need to talk to Eddie.”

“It’s two in the morning. Kid finally fell asleep for once.”

“Let her in, James,” Scott said. “They’re people. Just let them figure it out on their own without us.”

“I really want to fix this,” you explained, earning a lifted eyebrow from James. “He’s everything to me and I know I screwed up. I know that. But I want to at least try to mend this. I’m a fucking idiot. Just…please.” Your eyes began to water. “Please let me try.”

James gave you a hard stare for what felt like ten minutes. Like he was assessing the risk.

But then he opened the gate, stepping to the side.

“Thank you,” you breathed, rushing past him to the door.

You knocked quite rapidly, your heartbeat matching the pace. Heard it pulse in your ears. Teetered on each foot as the adrenaline continued to catapult you further into madness. Waiting and waiting and waiting until—

There he was, barely visible in the glow of the front porch light, eyes squinting. Messy curls frizzing, wearing a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. No accessories, no socks on his feet.

It seemed like he finally registered it was you when he straightened his posture. Eddie gazed down at your body and back up again, eyes widening with every passing second.

“Hey,” you finally whispered.

“Hey.”

bless @strangergraphics for always having the sickest dividers.

#Eddie Munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #modern!eddie munson #modern!eddie x reader #Eddie Munson x female reader #boyfriend!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie #rockstar eddie munson #rockstar!Eddie x reader #rockstar!Eddie x you #modern!Eddie x you #boyfriend!Eddie x reader

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deansapplepie · 7 months

Text

Till THE DEAD do us part | Chapter 3

A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story.

This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.

Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Chapter 3: I’m sorry and Thank you

Summary: It’s time to bury their dead, take decisions and say goodbyes. The tension is thin in the camp and not everyone can control their emotions or how they deal with it. Hard decisions are made and a shot is take in hopes that everyone have a future. Y/N and Daryl have their first little fight in this one.

Warnings: swearing, death, violence, little angsty, fluffy, little mention of suicide that if you blink you’re gonna lose it, maybe some characters are ooc, idk 🤷🏼‍♀️

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s sister)

Word count: 4,179

Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love.

Everybody started to work early, cleaning, reorganizing and getting rid of all the bodies. You needed to burry Amy, but Andrea would not let no one take care of her. You could imagine the pain she was feeling because you felt that too when you lost Rick. Amy was so young, she was sweet and gentle, she didn’t deserve it. No one deserved it.

You tried helping with whatever you could, unfortunately you were not strong enough to help carrying the body of the dead. So you were trying to make sure everyone had water to drink or something to eat, even if it’s just a little.

You were at good distance with Carl and Lori, helping them to put things in order, when you saw Rick holding a gun on Daryl’s head. Fuck. You walked the faster you could and put yourself between them. “What the hell is going on here?”

“Y/N, get out of the way.” Rick said, seeing you were not going to leave he lowered his gun. “He was going to kill Jim.”

“He was bitten! He’s a danger to everyone!” Daryl argumented, you turned around and looked at him.

“Jim is our friend, one of us… we can’t just kill him. We take care of him, he’ll eventually die and… when the time comes we… we do it.” You said, a little unsure of your own words, but that was what was the human thing to do.

“Never thought you were this dumb.” He almost spitted the words at you.

‘And I never thought you were an asshole.’ That’s what you wanted to say, but you didn’t, you just rolled your eyes at him and left. Things were under control, no one pointing guns at each other, your mission was done. That was a stupid fight and a stupid insult, but you couldn’t ignore the sting you felt at those words.

It didn’t take long for Amy to turn and Andrea have to kill her, it was heartbreaking to watch. When everything was over you had tears in the corners of your eyes. Also, you heard Carol had to kill Ed, you didn’t watch it, but you knew what it meant. Even if he was a human being, he was a monster… and now Carol and Sophia were free.

After that you buried your dead, while the zombies had already been put in fire. You said your goodbyes to Amy and hoped she was happy wherever she was. Everybody were going back to camp descending the hill, you passed through Daryl and gave him a look, that you didn’t know if it was sad, angry or upset.

“Ya defend not killing the living, but if ya could, ya would kill me right now.” Ok, so your look was the second option, angry. You just continued walking and ignored him. “ ‘m sorry.”

“Oh, I bet you are.” Sarcasm covered your words. “Maybe I’m dumb, but not SO dumb”

“I didn’t mean it. I was just angry.” He said walking by your side. “I was wrong, can we be good again? I hate how ya’re looking at me.” And he did, he could get those eyes from everyone and not give a fuck about it, but for some reason, a reason that he didn’t know, or didn’t want to admit, he couldn’t get that look from you.

You stopped and turned to him, you saw worry in him and that was not usual of him, not about the little you knew about him.

“Don’t do it again. Don’t call me that thing. It sounds silly, but…” ‘it brings back bad memories’, you were going to say, but didn’t have the courage.

“I’m never calling you that again. ‘m gonna think about other insults next time.” He tried a joke, and you tried to remain serious, but he could see the corners of your mouth curving a little while you battled against the smile. You hated that people would make you angry, but as soon as they wanted forgiveness, you would laugh or smile, instead of giving them the cold shoulder like normal people would do. Some said you had a good heart, but sometimes you thought you were a fool.

“Ok, Dixon. We’re friends again.” You said offering him your hand. He looked at your hand and thought for a moment. “Come on, shake my hand to seal it. I don’t have the whole day, if you don’t take it right now I’m going to…”

And he took it. He took your right hand in his and you were not expecting to feel this way to a simple handshake. His grip was firm, but comfortable. His hand calloused and warm, engulfed your hand that was so little compared to his. You felt comfort, protection and another feeling that you couldn’t describe, but made you lose your words.

“Ya’re going to what?” He still had a hold in your hand, maybe because you were holding his back and thinking about never letting go of his.

“Don’t matter. It’s done. We sealed our friendship, so I don’t need to threaten you anymore.” Reluctantly you let go of each others hands and continued to descend the hill.

“Oh, was that a threat? You don’t look threatening to me.” He mocked you.

“You better keep your eyes open D.” You answered liking the way his initial felt on your tongue and how it was said so easily. “I may look harmless, but I can be dangerous too.”

“Of course, as dangerous as a Puppy”

“Remember that puppies can bite and scratch.” You said lightly elbowing him.

“My clothes magically appeared clean and folded in my tent. It was you, wasn’t it?” He knew it was you, he just needed a way to talk about it and thank you.

“It was the least I could do…”

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem D.”

Later that day, after a lot of discussion, was decided that everybody that want would go to CDC early in the morning. You were not sure if there would be anything there when you arrived, but you also knew you couldn’t just stay in the quarry forever, more walkers would come. You couldn’t risk losing more people. You slept in your tent with Luna to keep you company, at 3 in the morning you woke up and couldn’t sleep. You really tried, you were tired, but you were not able to sleep again. You turned around back and fort on your tent, until the sun started to rise.

So you changed your clothes, put everything you had on your bag and left the tent to start disassemble it. The thing was, you didn’t even know how to assemble it, Shane had done everything for you, so now you were having a hard time.

“Do ya wanna some help?” You heard Daryl’s voice by your side and you almost jumped out of your skin. “Sorry, didn’t wanna scare ya.”

“Please, I have no idea what I’m doing.” You confessed shamelessly. In fact he didn’t even waited for your answer to start helping you.

“I realized that from distance, anyone could see ya struggling from miles away.” He joked, but it was not completely a lie, your struggle was very clear.

“Well, Lucky me, you offered help.”

After everything was ready to go, you started to say goodbyes, Morales and his family decided not to follow with you. A stupid decision in your opinion, but there wasn’t anything you could do about.

“Y/N, Carol and Sophia are coming with us. Do you mind going with Shane?” Rick came to you right before living.

“Actually, I’m going with Daryl. I figured it’d be better for Carol and Sophia to go with you.” You answered taking both Rick and Daryl by surprise.

“Are ya?” Daryl didn’t have time to think before the words left his mouth, and then you gave him the look that told him to play along with you. “I offered ya early, but ya never gave me an answer. I thought ya weren’t going with me.”

“Of course I am! Daryl Dixon giving me a ride? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” You grabbed your bag to put it in Daryl’s truck, Rick gave you a knowing look. He knew you were avoiding Shane, he just didn’t know why, but he knew you too well to not notice. Also, he saw how Daryl was surprised. “Luna, are you coming with us or do you prefer going with Carl?”

“Nah, she’s coming with us. My offer is only open if she comes with us.” Daryl stated, and you couldn’t resist but laugh.

As soon as you hit the road, Luna was all over the place. She wanted to go for the window and feel the air with her tongue out like any normal dog. She sat on your lap, forgetting she isn’t a lap dog, and you needed to hold her just in case, because she tried a few times going to Daryl’s side and you were not dying by a stupid car accident in the middle of the apocalypse.

“So…why didn’t ya want to go with Shane?” Daryl threw the question at you after Luna had calmed down.

“Cause Luna wanted to go with you.” You gave the excuse shamelessly. He snorted to your lame excuse.

“Bullshit! Spill the real reason, that’s the least I get for playing along with ya.” He took a small glance at you and returned his attention to the road.

“Okay… never took you for one that likes gossip but…” he gave you an annoyed look as if to say ‘just say it’. “I had a fight with him, when you guys went to Atlanta. In front of the whole camp actually.”

“The bruise, in his face, was that ya?” He asked, looking at you for a brief moment, and you nodded in response. “I knew it. Couldn’t be a walker, it looked like something ya would do.”

“How did it look like something I’d do?” Did he take you for the type to go punching people around? Maybe he thought you were kind of a badass? No, not possible.

“The bruise is just the height you’d be able to punch, no way you could hit him on the eye.” Well, none of the options you guessed, he just stated you were short, which you really kind of was. But you couldn’t let it pass like this and gave him a light punch on his arm. “Easy Puppy, I’d rather die fighting zombies than in a car.”

“You just called me short!” you stated as a justification of why you lightly punched his arm.

“And didn’t lied.” He smirked and then put his right hand on Luna’s head for a brief moment. “Why did ya punch him?”

“He lied. He told us Rick was dead.” You answered and Daryl said nothing, probably thinking about what you said. “I mean, any idiot can see if a person is breathing and if the heart is beating.”

“Well, it’s Shane. He’s a different kind of idiot.” What was he probably trying to say? “Maybe, he didn’t knew the difference at the time. I’m not trying to defend him, I don’t like him, you know.”

“I know… it’s just… I’m angry.” You said. Funny, because Daryl had told you the same thing to you, but of course your fight was very silly compared to the reasons behind your quarrel with Shane. “Do you think I should talk to him?”

“Is it going to make ya feel better? If yes, do it.” He didn’t even had to think to say that and he didn’t like Shane at all. That was one of those moments where you saw how good he was, and you wish people would see through his rough demeanor. “Take a picture, it lasts longer.” You didn’t realize you were staring at him for a long time.

“Sorry, I was thinking about what you said.” That was not a complete lie, but not even half of the truth. “But I don’t need a picture if I can look at you everyday.”

You wanted to talk more, but you were tired, your half slept night was charging it’s price. You didn’t know when you slept, but after 2 hours you woke up the car was slowing down until stopping. Luna was laying in your lap awkwardly, half her body was on the car seat and her head was on Daryl’s lap.

“Morning Sleepyhead!” Daryl took a small glance at you.

“Hey… sorry, I didn’t want to sleep, but I was tired.” You ran your hands on Luna’s back. “Why are we stopping?”

“Don’t know, guess it’s a problem with the RV.” He took Luna’s head from his lap and talked to her as to a child, you didn’t even paid attention to what he was saying you just thought that was adorable.

You broke the moment putting a harness on Luna, so you could leave the car. As soon as you left the car your eyes found Shane and you decided to take the opportunity to talk to him.

“D., can you look after Luna for a little while?” You asked him, giving your best puppy eyes, without even noticing.

“Alright Pup, go and do what you need to do.” He said grumply taking the harness. “Go, before I regret it”

“Okay, thanks.” You gave a little smile and left in Shane’s direction.

When Shane saw you walking in his direction, he thought there would come trouble, because any moment you two talked, you would fight. He regretted all the fights, but it was as if he couldn’t control himself, in this world… he couldn’t be soft, gentle or unprepared. He couldn’t also let anything bad happen to the one’s he cared, even if he had to make some sacrifices along the way, and that was what scared him the most. He felt like he was losing his humanity and he didn’t see any other option.

“Shane, can we talk?” You finally approached him, expectations very high and afraid of the outcome.

“I don’t want to fight Y/N…” well, you didn’t want this too, but it didn’t depend only on you.

“Me neither. I just wanna my nice big bro Shane back, you know…” You said, eyes on the mark you had left on his left cheek. “I’m sorry, for the punch.”

“I probably deserved, a cop that can’t tell the difference between the dead and the living…”

“You were probably nervous, I can only imagine the chaos the hospital was and… and you said they were shooting everyone in there, you were probably also afraid.” You said and took his hand in yours. “I’m sorry, I was angry and shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

“I’m sorry, I have been an asshole lately.” He admited.

“Lately?” You mocked him. “Let’s be good again, I don’t punch you anymore and you don’t piss me off. You know, just like you and Rick, I grew up and I don’t need you to protect me from everything. You should be the cool big bro that encourage me to do reckless things that Rick wouldn’t want me to do.”

“Just like… hanging out with Daryl Dixon?” He suggested and he knew he was entering a delicate topic because you already fought before about it.

“Yeah, he’s a good person and my friend. You should encourage me to make other friends, the world went to shit and the people is all we got.” You chewed the inside of your cheeks hoping you would not start fighting again.

“You know, I only act like this, because I don’t want you in the same situation you had with Paul.” He confessed, and in part it was true, you were never the same after Paul, after all the psychological abuse. It took months for you to go back to your normal self, and a german shepherd puppy to make you smile and live again. But on the other hand, it was also his prejudice against the Dixon Brothers.

“I already told you, it’s not like this.”

“I see the way you look at him. It’s the same way you used to look at Jack Jones.” He stated, and you remembered your first crush at school. You never had the courage to tell him what you felt.

“I surely don’t, I’m no teenager and… hey maybe I could have avoided all this situation with Paul if I had told Jack how I felt…” You tried to deny, but you knew that maybe he was right… maybe you had a crush on Daryl. “Just let me live, please Shane? If I die tomorrow, I want to know I lived to the fullest. I don’t expect to find love or anything in a world like this, but I want to be with people I enjoy being with and protect the people I love.”

“Don’t say no sense. You’re not going to die, I’m not letting you die.” He stated. “It’s ok, you can be friends or more than friends with whoever you want, but let me know if anyone hurt you…”

“Thank you Shane.” You hugged him tightly. “And please… let go of Lori, you’ll only hurt you and her. I say it, because we’re family and I love you.”

You left his embrace and you saw the hurt and sadness in his face, maybe a little anger too, but you hope he would not blame you for this and listen to your advice.

“Go to your boyfriend before he comes here and kill me.” Shane played after he saw the way Daryl was looking at the both of you.

“Shut up Shane!” You gave him a punch on his arm before you left.

“By the way, I’m proud of your punchs, you really learned how to beat someone properly.” He kind of yelled at you, and you just laughed. Well they really taught you how to beat someone and how to make it as painful as possible.

After that Shane left with T.Dog to try finding replacement parts for the RV. You go to Daryl and take Luna from him, you could not ask for him to do more than he already did. “Thank you.” You told him.

“ ‘s nothing. It’s always good to pass some time with Luna.” He replied taking a cigarette and lightening it. His curiosity taking the better of him. “Are ya feeling better?”

“Yes, I guess. Things went well. Thank you for the advice.”

Jim was getting worse over the time, you thought he would not make it to the CDC and in truth, you knew nobody survived from a bite, you never saw one single person survive it. Rick was new to all this shit, so he had hope, but you knew Jim would not make it and that nobody could in fact help him.

The RV was fixed, but now you got another problem, Jim was bad and he had decided to stay behind. Rick tried to convince him otherwise, but he had made his choice and you should all respect. It was sad leaving him behind, but you couldn’t stop any more time, you needed to keep going. You entered Daryl’s truck, a heavy silence following the both of you. He started the car, his forehead frowned and the eyes on the road. You could feel he regretted his actions towards Jim.

“You were not completely wrong.” You finally said taking him by surprise. “You just had the wrong approach.”

Silence. Not the comfortable one.

“The most compassionate thing to do in a world like this, would be to not let the people we like turn into one of those…”

“Why?” He asked, eyes on the road, not even giving a glance at you. Your were took by surprise and didn’t know what he meant. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because this whole situation made me think and… I know you have your own thoughts about it too. We can’t be so radical, but we should think about doing something to not let each other turn.” You wanted to look at him, you wanted to hold his hand, but you couldn’t, you knew you had crossed lines when you told him those things. You didn’t even know if he considered you a friend that could discuss this kind of things and tell when someone is wrong or right.

“Yeah, ya know a lot of shit.” The bitter comment left his mouth seconds after what you said.

“Daryl, if I ever get bit, I want you to end it for me.” You didn’t know what made you say it, but you just ignored his comment and threw this bomb on him. He almost hit the brakes the moment the words left your mouth.

“What the fuck?!” He cursed. “Don’t ask me something like that. Yar not getting bitten.”

“You don’t know.” Seeing Jim like this made you think. You didn’t want to die alone, you didn’t want to turn, you didn’t had the courage to do it yourself and you didn’t want Rick, Shane, Lori or ,in the worst scenario, Carl to do this. “Promise me”

“I ain’t promising you shit!” He didn’t understand why he got so angry at what you said and asked, it should be something normal to ask each other in a damn Zombie apocalypse. But the thought of you getting bitten… it bothered him in more ways that he could admit. “Stop talking no sense. We’re not losing anyone else to those fuckers.”

“I’m sorry.” Apologizing were becoming and habit that you didn’t want to keep, but how could you stop when you were afraid you hurt people.

“Ya don’t need to be.” He answered than he looked at you for some seconds before landing his eyes on the road again.

You decided against opening your mouth again, you pet Luna’s back and stared out of the window. When you were not looking Daryl stared at you for a little longer than what he should while driving. He over reacted, he knew it. He could not be good with his feelings and also short tempered, but he knew when he let it took the best of him. He had already lost Merle, he knew he was alive, but he was alone. Again. That wasn’t the first time Merle let him alone, and he didn’t know how it affected and made Daryl feel. In a world so big like this, maybe they’d never see each other again and he would never know. At the moment, you were the only friend he had. Could he call you a friend? And even though, there was other people that were polite to him, you were the only one that would talk more than 2 words to him. Not that he made a big effort to have a conversation to others, but you seemed to not care his short answers. The thought of you being bitten and he being left alone again, felt as if a giant rock was put on his chest. He didn’t like all this thoughts, but he couldn’t just stop them. His right hand went to Luna’s head that once again was on his lap, and he could not help but grow fond of the dog.

It was almost night when you arrived at the CDC. The place was a cemitery, there were bodies everywhere and some walkers too. You all got our of the cars and went to the entrance of CDC. All was closed, with heavy strong metal doors. You knocked, called, pleaded but there was no answer. Some started to not believe anymore on the possibility of the CDC having someone in there, but you couldn’t stop believing. You were already there, it was getting dark and it was not safe being outside. When you had lost hope, Rick saw the camera moving and you continued asking for help until the big metal door opened and you could see the big iluminated hall inside the building. You filled your lungs with hope and could breath relieved that you would have a place to stay.

Final Note: Thanks for everyone reading, liking, reblogging and commenting, it’s really good to receive your feedback.

Taglist: @sunnybunnyy2

#daryl dixon #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #twd #twd daryl #daryl x y/n #daryl fanfiction #daryl imagines #daryl x reader #daryl x you #daryl #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon imagine #daryl x grimes!reader

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havin-fun-imagining-twd · 2 months

Text

Shame on a plate

Happy St. Patrick's Day, slowpokes!

When -- several minutes after Stuck in a damn bed. , after Shane blew up, and you found out that not only Dale, but Maggie saw, too.

What -- Sophia's still missing, Daryl and Carl have one more day in the house on bed rest, and you're dealing with the aftermath of your big brother Shane's actions in the previous chapter and the fact that others saw. The biggest thing you feel is shame.

Relationships -- Found family you and the gang! Lol, always a slow burn Daryl x Reader, there's also some platonic Glenn, brotherly Rick, and Maggie gets protective her new friend (you), and Papa Dale is there

Perspective -- 2nd You, 3rd Daryl

Pronouns -- none

TWs -- other than the hideous screenshot above, there's some language and discussion of abusive patterns and behaviors

How long is it? -- around 4,000 words

Masterlist -- Official one here and Chronological one here

In this chapter, Reader is struggling with shame, guilt and confusion over how Shane treated them at the end of the previous chapter.

Remember, being hurt by a loved one is not okay. If they are hurting you, they are doing something bad to you. Abuse is not earned or deserved. You are worthy of being safe and unhurt.

For help getting safe, you can call the Domestic Violence Hotline (USA) at 800-799-7233, chat online, or text START to 88788.

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“No, nothin’ like it before, ever.”

Her fingers tap tap tapped against the book in her hands. “I don’t like it. Daddy’s been uncomfortable around him, then I see this happen.”

You twisted your mouth. “It was an argument between siblings.”

“If it was an argument, then why didn’t I see you arguin’ back?”

Stupid, stupid idiot. It kept playing in your head, that refrain. It had a different spin than it did at first. See, at first, your brain repeated it because you’d given yourself fault for what happened, how Shane just…you don’t know what happened. But he behaved very badly.

But then, the refrain kept repeating over and over because you didn’t walk away or fight back when Shane started hurti acting like he did.

You did nothing.

It was the one thing you were not supposed to do. The thing Shane and your Mama always warned you never to do when things got scary. The thing Shane had literally just gotten done practicing with you so that you’d know even more than you already know about how and when to fight back.

All that effort and still, you froze.

Stupid, stupid idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot.

You had to clear your throat. “Beth didn’t see, too, right? Just you?” you hushed. The girl was already timid and uneasy about your group, If she saw what happened, it was the nail in the coffin if you couldn’t fix this.

“No, I was the only one by the window.”

“So he wasn’t too loud, then.” Which meant only Margaret and Dale knew. Your shoulders felt lighter.

“Y/N,” Maggie said to you. “You seem more concerned with others not seein’ what went on.”

“Well, yeah, I’m worried they’d overreact.”

She tilted her chin up and placed her hands on her hips. “Oh, is that what I’m doing? Was my comin’ to check on you an overreaction?”

“No, no, not at all!” you quickly apologized. “Not at all! I’m, I’m happy you care enough.”

“You’re a good person and you’re my friend, which is why I don’t want to tiptoe around this. What your brother just did was bad. You know that was abusive, right?”

Maybe scoffing at her heartfelt, caring statement wasn’t your best idea, but 'abusive' was such a strong word…right? “He’s my brother, and it was a one-off, I done told you.”

“I’m not sure I believe it when you say that,” she next had the audacity to claim. “You haven’t even been makin’ eye contact with me.”

Oh, you want eye contact? I’ll give you eye contact, bitch.

Your inner tea kettle was shrieking to be taken off the burner, and you could not have cared less. “You callin’ me a liar? Calling my brother an abuser? Rich words from someone I’ve barely known two weeks!”

Before any more was said, Dale inserted himself into the conversation, the thing he said he wouldn’t do. “If you want to keep your conversation private, I suggest not raising your voices.”

Maggie’s arms were crossed. She stared hard at you, but spoke calmly. “Sometimes when things are unhealthy, those looking in from the outside can see it better. And I know what I saw.”

“A sibling fight,” you whispered as gently as you could, feeling so heated. “You, you, y-you saw a sibling fight, those can get nasty.” She’s wrong, she’s wrong, she’s not, she’s not.

“You know what? I don’t have time for your pushback if you don’t have time to consider what somebody who’s concerned about you says, Y/N.”

More shame was added to your plate.

Her leaving shouldn’t have felt so awful, but it did. You covered your eyes and exhaled, as if that would help get rid of the worst of it. You then told God how much you hated this, immediately followed by the opposite, as you cursed yourself a little more, why not? You stupid, stupid idiot.

Not only did you disappoint (and insult) your new friend, but you worried it was another strike against your group. Lori and Carl need this place, it’s safe, it’s good, it’s — you stupid, stupid idiot!

But just like that, Maggie then called your name again as Dale was stepping toward you. You turned to see her facing you once more, no longer walking away.

“If this was a dating situation, what would you think about how he behaved, what he did?” she challenged.

As unfair as you thought the comparison was, the answer hit you in the face. Pun not intended, shit, um… at any rate, having Dale close by helped to ease you into the checkmate that Margaret just finished you with.

You hated your answer.

Because if you saw Shane behaving toward a romantic partner the same way he just behaved with you, you know exactly what you’d think and how you’d react. It wouldn’t be a gray situation, it would be black and white.

More shame for the plate. More guilt. More unease, more dread.

Eyes to the grass, you swallowed your pride. “I’d see it the way you see it.”

Maggie shifted her weight from the right to left, then back again, uncertain. “Will you tell Rick?”

You hesitated, too. After all, you’re an adult. You could be married with children at your age, you couldn’t just—“Tattle that Shane…got huffy, lost his cool?”

“Don’t oversimplify, kiddo, you’re smarter than that,” Dale muttered. He and Shane don’t get on (zero idea why, since Dale and you get on so well!) so this is just more bad press against your brother and more shame for your plate.

“But it’s, it’s not that dramatic, none of this has to be dramatic,” you insisted.

Dale answered again. “Then talking to Rick about it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Rick’s family,” Maggie agreed. “So, he’s seems like the best person to help.”

A child in a grown-up’s body is what you felt like. Helpless, naïve, clueless. You stupid, stupid idiot.

They were right, though, Rick could fix this, he could talk to Shane, figure out what that was. And even better — agreeing with Maggie and Dale would get them off your back! For real, what were they doing, an intervention? Because Shaney poked you a little, gave you a little push?

The words felt sinful, but you said them anyway.“I-I’ll, um, I’ll talk to him. I’ll talk to Rick.” And, of course, you were then obligated because you despise dishonesty.

Maggie nodded, then put her thumbs in her pockets. Dale nodded and looked at the two of you, then all around. It was very uncomfortable.

It would be nice if instead of real life, this was a TV show or book, you remember thinking. The audience isn’t usually shown the awkward parts in TV or books, would be a waste of time.

“Y/N,” Maggie spoke, breaking the silence. “We have a raspberry thicket by the south-facing property line.” She pointed in the direction. “Completely overgrown. I’m gonna go back in, finish what I was doin’, but let’s go pick some together later, okay? I’ll come find you in a little while?” She smiled hopefully at you, with some pity thrown in.

Returning the smile, you hoped it made you look put-together and self-aware and confident instead of the shameful, idiotic mess you felt like. “That sounds delicious.”

The moment ended, and she went back toward the house. You heard the door open and clack shut again. A desk onto which you could slam you head would be nice, you remembered thinking.

Instead of a desk, though, Dale put a gentle hand on your shoulder.

He sighed. “Alright, troublemaker. Walk with me? We don’t have to talk, let’s enjoy the sunset awhile.”

Not two steps later, and he apologized for his timing in using the nickname that one month ago he’d christened you with. “And Y/N? What Shane did isn’t your fault.”

-------------------------

Him

-------------------------

Today marks one week of being stuck in this bed. Day 7.

He’d failed, that’s it. A weak-ass pussy dipshit who’d failed, and was still stuck in a damned bed after a full week.

Tomorrow, Patricia said he’d be cleared to move out. Not that it mattered much, he still couldn’t do enough to be useful. Not that he wouldn’t; he couldn’t. He’d still be on bed rest.

But hey, at least he’d be able to walk to the woods to find a place to squat and shit by himself now, right? Not even too sarcastic, it would be a step up from feeling like a total invalid.

Carol and Lori were doing a special dinner and cleaning up for the family here to try and thank them for everything. Daryl would just…lay in his bed, he figured. Except, all three of those clucking hens that he wished would stop preening him, Patricia, Carol, and Y/N, kept offering to help him eat with everyone else like they was all some big, happy, family.

This time, it wasn’t that he couldn’t; he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to face them all, not yet, it was too much. He could only take a certain level of shame, and his plate was already full.

The saving grace this past week that stopped him from drowning in his shame was his not seeing the whole kit and kaboodle of them in one sitting. Rick had told him a little over a week ago how it was no problem if Daryl left. Just Daryl, he’s pretty sure nobody else got that little talk.

He’d chosen to stay because of Sophia and Y/N. Sophia needed finding. Still does.

-------------------------

You

-------------------------

Carl is the kind of kid who’s double-digits, yet understands when his mother needs her baby again. Lori had snuggled with him on the bed, and both were sound asleep. Not even you knocking on the door or the door being opened/shut woke them.

Which must be why last night, Rick took the opportunity to bring up what Shane did, right there in the room.

It was a blessing that you didn’t end up having to do the hardest part, bringing it up, you suppose. Shane himself had done it for you. All you had to do was fill in the blanks.

“Said he lost control, acted a certain way,” Rick murmured. “What’d that look like?”

You didn’t want to describe it, it’d sound bad… “Shane didn’t say?”

“I’m interested in what you say.”

“Ah, you want to maintain ‘eyewitness sequeskra — eesh, that’s hard to pronounce. Se-quest-ra-tion?”

Rick did that raised brow squint thing he makes when he’s teasing, as if maybe he was about to call you ‘weirdo.’ But then, his expression faded back to serious and he spoke your name. “We both know he hasn’t been himself. What did that look like today?”

Casually, you told him about the way Shane had gotten intimidating. “You know how he’d talk when he needed to do ‘bad cop,’ it was, it was kinda like that.”

“Anything physical?”

Casually, you mentioned the jabs. “He was pokin’, like, with his pointer finger — and he’s strong, so.”

“Right there?” Rick asked, pointing to his sternum in mimic of how you’d gestured.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a bruise?”

Your neck tightened.

Maggie had spotted it when you were berry picking. One had fallen down your shirt, so you’d pulled the fabric forward and down to retrieve it, and she (and you) saw the bruise forming. You stupid, stupid idiot.

It was fine, it wasn’t a big deal. Bruises happen.

Casually, you joked to Rick, “I get bruises from random shit all the time.”

He didn’t smile.

It actually lessened the shame, rather than adding more. You were grateful.

Continuing, he questioned, “He told me about that collarbone grab, and how he went like this?” And when he motioned with his hand, slowly pretending to clap it against the side of your head, you felt your cheeks heat.

“Once.” The insult he’d smacked you with at the same time hurt more, to be honest. Which…made it all click that what Shane did wasn’t as small a deal as you’d been thinking. Mouth shut, you licked your teeth and stared into space. “Did it to himself first, way more than once.”

Rick watched his wife and son sleeping on the bed and asked nothing more for a few minutes.

You picked at the string that stuck out of your arm wrap, feeling stupid, stupid, stupid, shameful, stupid. Per usual, then you missed your mom—and out of nowhere got swept by that flash flood of resentment toward Rick again.

Shane and you had left your mother alone to scope out the latest at the hospital, to figure out how to get Rick safely out without him decompensating. While you two were gone, what happened happened. Sometimes, you assign blame to Rick for it, as if comatose Rick was the reason your ma got killed. Sometimes, you assign her dying to Shane’s change in character, as if that made it better, gave it an excuse.

Grief gets sticky like that.

“Is that all, or is there any more?”

“He went like this,” you mumbled, and grabbed the neck of your shirt like Shane had. “That’s it, all the dirt. Happy?”

“Y/N.”

“…Sorry.”

“I know this wasn’t easy. Thank you,” he told you, putting his arm on your shoulder. You didn’t want it there, so you moved away. Rick was patient, not reacting a bit.

That was last night. This morning felt pretty normal when you woke up. Carol had shared your tent again. Shane was off in his, so you didn’t see him.

Coffee in hand, you were in in the middle of coaxing one of the pullets to waddle toward you by holding out dandelion leaves when Glenn came to see you. You’d figured he wanted to feed the baby chickens, too, or, even better, that there was good news about Maggie. (She likes him!, she told you herself the other day. She just isn’t telling, you know, Glenn himself just yet.)

“Y/N? How are you?”

“I’m warmed up good with my coffee, how about you? Sleep well?” You kept your smile in when you asked, “Talk to Maggie today?”

“Yeah, yeah, I slept fine, yeah, but, um—you’re like, okay, though?”

A flutter of dread. “Glenn, what’s up?”

“What did Shane do to you yesterday? I heard him—”

“—What did you hear, and from whom?” reverberated from the back of your throat as if it were a growl.

“Dude, chill. I’m trying to see if you’re okay.”

The way you tried to keep your voice calm ended up sounding snotty and insincere. Most likely because you were feeling very insincere. How many people saw or heard about what happened? Naked, you felt so naked and exposed! “Where. Did. You. Hear about it?”

“I heard your brother talking to Rick.”

The twist in your gut eased. “Okay, um, um — what did he, w-what, um, what did he, what did he say?” And how did you hear, do they know you heard?”

“I had the headphones in, but the battery died on your mp3 while I was going to the bathroom—”

“—Daryl has the mp3,” you thought aloud.

“He let T-Dog borrow it, who let me borrow it. I-I ate something that didn’t agree with me, so…”

Oh my ffing — “Did you sanitize it when you were done?”

“Dabbed it with hand sanitizer, yeah. Oh, also, Shane asked me to ask you if he could borrow it once it was charged again.” Glenn scratched his neck. “I told him it was on really low battery.”

You swallowed.“So he did see you?”

“He and Rick saw me with the earbuds on and I acted surprised to see them.Shane asked if he could borrow it, I told him it needed to be charged, um, hey, I can see it in your face that you’re worried, please don’t be! Shane believed me,” he assured you. “Trust me, he doesn’t know I heard him. I don’t lie, Y/N, you know that.”

“I do,” you admitted, nodding.

“Anyway, I was walking back from the woods and heard Shane and Rick talking. I figured it was about Sophia, but when I overheard something Shane said, I stopped and listened.” Glenn bent his head down and shuffled his feet. “He said that he messed up, like, snapped. Told Rick that he needed to talk to you and be on your side with whatever you told him. Y/N, he said that he,” your friend lowered to a whisper, “hurt you? Like literally ‘hurt’ you, like, did he hit you?”

You smiled to put him at ease, holding up your hands. “He poked me a little and clapped an ear, weren’t hardly no thing.” Y/N, you stupid, stupid, idiot.

It was probably good that he looked so disappointed and cautious, even if it didn’t feel good to see it in his eyes at the time. “Y/N, don’t…joke about this stuff,” he began. “Why would Shane would have gone to Rick in private if it wasn’t serious?”

“’Cause he’s a drama-king.” You made it sound almost like you were patronizing Glenn, the way you said it.

“No. No, this isn’t ‘no thing,’ you literally just confessed he did hit you — does Rick know about that, too? Shane mentioned something about a collarbone, grabbing your shirt, and shoving you, which is also not ‘no thing.’”

As he was speaking, you’d felt more and more defensive and naked and ashamed. You even had to beat down the urge you had to grab his shirt and shove him back, and prove it wasn’t a big deal!

Then, you considered how he’d take it. The look on his face, at a friend doing that to him. How you’d feel about yourself if you did that. How you’d feel if you saw somebody else do that to him or somebody else. A whole lot of rapid thoughts in the several moments where you figured out a way to respond.

The explanation you made was something you’d tried on everyone so far. “We’re siblings. Stuff like that is normal — did you never see your sisters go at it?”

“No, it’s not! And if it is, it shouldn’t be! Dude, if you saw me,” he countered, speaking louder than you’d heard him make since he cried that the bodies of those at the quarry camp weren’t going to be burned with the walkers. “Doing whatever Shane did with you to one of my younger sisters, what would you think of me? How would you react?”

Glenn’s strong emotional response wasn’t expected, so you stood there, dumb. And you knew exactly how you’d react if you saw him doing to his sisters what Shane did.

And yet, you’re still unsure if everyone else is overreacting because it sounded bad or because it actually was.

Either way, Glenn’s question raised your white flag for you. You surrendered, bowing you head in shame and covering your face with your free hand.

“Glenn, there are three other people who know. Four, if you count Shane.” With your injured arm still secured by the upper arm to your torso, you pointed at him. “Dale, Maggie, and Rick know. Which means already there are three others who know. Now, Glenn, don’t go spreadin’ this business any further, hear?”

You didn’t sound half as intimidating as the words may look, mostly you sounded defeated. Ashamed. “Talk to any one of them, talk to me, but do not breathe a word to, to anybody else or around anybody else.”

This is the part where you started to get a little weepy. “And Lori, she don’t need to know about this right now, she don’t need the stress, and not a word around my Carl, oh my gosh, not him.” This is the part where you got a little beg-gy. “Please. It, it ain’t a bad secret because those that need to know, know. Okay?”

The gavel was brought down when he said, “The way you’re scared of the others finding out makes it seem like a bad one.” He was right. Is right.

He then clasped his hands together. “Listen: I wasn’t about to tell anyone else, since Rick knows. Shane told him himself, dude, and I trust Rick. But, if it was a different case,” he went on, and shook his head as if he was telling you that all bets would be off. “Y/N, remember when Ed was around? How that felt? Dude, you literally threw yourself on him when you saw him hurt Carol.”

The comparison of your brother to Ed Peletier stung and wasn’t fair. And did Glenn forget what Shane did to Ed, to? “Glenn, that ain’t equivalent by any stretch.”

“Maybe not,” he accepted. “But just because it could be worse doesn’t make it not bad. Stuff like this starts small.”

“I know,” you whispered.

You raised the white flag higher, half with the plea that this would be over faster if you did. Lord above, you felt so small, stupid, and defenseless. “You’re right,” you ceded, your gaze reaching no higher than Glenn’s belly. “You’re right. And like you said, it’s, it’s b-bein’ handled, Rick’s got it.” Ugh, stress stutter. “And Shane did a much better job than me when he saw what Ed did, don’t leave out that part.”

“He did. That almost worries me more. Just — if anything like this happens again, or if it starts to feel the same, like — ” He raised his hands. “You’re my best friend. That means I’m on your team. Okay? Even if you end up hating me for it.” He then started to leave, give you some space. “We’re on the same search team today, too. Meet by the mailbox by 9:00, it’s in like 40 minutes.”

“Hey, wait,” you called, not wanting to look him in the eye yet but doing it anyway. And you forced the words out because they were true. “Th-thank you.”

He breathed out heavily and made an awkward (but real) smile.“I love you, dude.”

“I love you, too, man. You’re my best friend.”

The uncomfortable, clumsy encounter with Glenn left you feeling more ashamed than you already were. With Daryl, that day where you’d felt as if your very soul had been stripped bare, the vulnerability hadn’t felt shameful afterward. What you’d felt was so close, unbearably close, it was strange.

But yesterday evening and this morning, the vulnerability sucked, dude. And you’d been stuck in a cycle of shame, anger, and feeling stupid, but without those feelings going away once the truth let out.

The good thing was, the target of your anger began to change during the conversation with Glenn. You weren’t thinking stupid, stupid idiot about yourself anymore, no, it became directed at Shane. The one whose blowing up made this mess. Your view of the mess also became clearer. What happened wasn’t just one sibling bullying a little on the other and it getting out-of-hand it was…it wasn’t something to brush aside, you’ll say that. And you’re scared, you’ll say that, too.

But what you were supposed to do with all of it, that still wasn’t clear.

Still isn’t. Because sooner than later, Shane will know about the baby. Sooner rather than later, the situation with Sophia will end. Sooner rather than later, that little power struggle you’re seeing between him and Rick will come to a head.

Nope. You have no idea what to do and all you feel is shame about it.

Speaking of, Daryl’s been feeling ashamed, too, it’s kinda obvious when you look and talk to the guy. He thinks that because he’s bedbound, he’s useless. Might as well pop in before you go on the search this morning, you’ve got like 15 minutes until then.

-------------------------

Him

-------------------------

“Last day in this fine establishment, enjoy it while you can,” Y/N joked.

Yeah, so, he wasn’t in a joking mood and didn’t get why Y/N would be, either. An entire week in this ‘establishment’ was damned shameful. All because he stole (worse, Y/N had told him more than once not to do it) borrowed a horse that got spooked. A dumbass slip and fall. Twice.

If Sophia wasn’t found, it was on his hands.

“Did Carol convince you to come to dinner, yet? Or are you still feelin’ too poorly?”

“Just stop.” He wanted to be left alone, was that so fucking complicated?

And he wanted out of this fucking bed, out of this room, out of this house, off this shit farm, and away from this whole gaggle of dumb fucks.

He wanted Merle back. He wanted Uncle Jesse back.

…He just wanted Sophia back. He'd even prayed about it.

“Sorry, little man, not now. Yeah, nah, he needs some privacy and quiet,” Daryl then heard from out in the hallway.

The door was already closed. He didn’t even hear it shut.

“No, his head is still okay, Carl, his cognition is prolly better than the two of us put together. The man’s healin’ well, thanks be to God,” Y/N cheerfully chirped like a songbird. "Wanna visit the baby chicks again?"

More shame slithered on over, hissing at him for how he’d been a dick to Y/N, of all people.

Daryl tried to rub his chest to get rid of the tugging feeling in Y/N’s direction while trying to shut up the voice in his head that was screaming for a goddamn cigarette so he could smoke and dig the lit end into his skin.

-------------------------

You

-------------------------

So, that was a bust. Daryl kinda snapped at you. It sucked. Felt really awful, not gonna lie. First your brother, now the mangy hick.

Come to think of it, it's actually more on brand for Daryl to have done that, given you literally just referred to him as ‘mangy hick.’

Ugh, you wanna cry again. You wanna run back to Dale the way a little kid runs to their dad. Maybe this time you'd also run into a desk to slam your head against on the way?

Later would have to suffice for finding that desk, however, because now, there’s work to do.

“Aight, let’s roll. We’re headin’ south, looking around a small neighborhood. Tomorrow, Shane and Andrea will be hitting what we don’t cover,” T-Dog announces. “Ready to head out, y’all?”

“Head on back to your ma, okay?” you tell Carl, pecking a kiss on his head and patting your finger along the chick he's still carrying. Carl had walked you to the mailbox, it's his third and probably last ‘big trip’ of the day. He’s wearing Shane’s police baseball hat. “See you later, punk, I love you."

“Yeah, man, all set. Bye, Carl.” Glenn stands up from his crouched position by the mailbox where he was waiting.

You adjust the first aid kit in your backpack, then ease it on and snap the chest clip in place. “Ready, Teddy.”

T-Dog rubs his hands together. “Then let’s roll. See if we can’t bring Sophia back for this big dinner her mama’s got planned tonight.”

------------------------------------------

-> Masterlist link here <-

and our teeny tiny taglist :D

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ace7librarian · 4 months

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Hatchetfield Jewish headcanons!

Based on surnames and some unrelated headcanons.

*After Jane died, Tom really wanted to keep the Jewish traditions for Tim, but he had zero clue what to do, so he called Emma. She also had no idea what to do, but she tried her best.

*Ruth and Richie make fun of Pete for being the only goy in the squad. Everyone just assume he's Jewish, and that makes him really confused. Also, Ruth unironically ships Tanakh characters.

*Shapiro has a Jewish dad and a Catholic mom, so she got the Jewish surname and the Catholicism. She breaks the glass in her and miss mullberry's wedding. Miss mullberry is also Jewish.

*at one timeline Steph finds Solomon with the black book or something and blames him for encouraging the stereotype that Jews worship Satan.

*Dan Reynolds is Jewish. I have no reason for this.

*the following conversation happened at some point.

Emma: and I'm not going to let some republican, Christian old man-

Bob Metzger, offended: Christian????

Emma: ....

Bob: there's ONE synagogue. How did you never see me there???

Emma: I was smoking outside???

Bob: we're a big family! My grandchildren were outside! Our last name is Metzger!!

Emma: ....sorry. A republican old man.

Bob: there you go.

*Karen Chasity is very upset about having Solomon lauter as a mayor. Sam sweetly as well. I just know these two would want a Christian mayor.

*Daniel/stopwatch invites the other kids to celebrate Jewish holidays with him. Sophia melts some candlesticks and Hannah starts having visions when they read the Haggadah, but they still had a great time.

Characters that deserve an honourable mention:

The spankoffskis sound very Jewish, but we know ted is a Christian, and they both went to a Christian summer camp.

Linda says "mensch", but with the implications of the rich bitch being Jewish? No thanks. Plus she has way too much Christian symbolism in her character. My headcanon is that she heard Jews were controlling the media so she started using Yiddish slang to look richer. I'm sorry, but she would.

I love Gary Goldstein, but he is a walking stereotype.

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hippolotamus · 3 months

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Tease Tidbit Tuesday/WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the Tuesday tags @elvensorceress @loserdiaz @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @weewootruck @wikiangela @giddyupbuck @daffi-990 @tizniz @diazsdimples Tagging you back for WIP Wednesday and looking forward to all your works 💖

So don't be mad, OK? I'm posting another snippet of this. (Under the cut because it got long) That being said, it's going to be the last one for a while until I finish some other stuff. Aaaand it's written in a POV I'm not sure I'm gonna keep. With that in mind... enjoy???? Also everybody who's into this thank James for forcingmaking me flesh out more details and @watchyourbuck for threatening me (with love ofc).

no pressure tagging (lmk if you want added or removed) @stereopticons @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @theotherbuckley @apothecarose @barbiediaz @buckaroosheart @buddierights @chaosandwolves @eowon @fortheloveofbuddie @gayedmundodiaz @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @indestructibleheart @jesuisici33 @ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @statueinthestone @steadfastsaturnsrings @the-likesofus @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @thewolvesof1998 @vanillahigh00 @watchyourbuck @wildlife4life @your-catfish-friend @epicbuddieficrecs @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @lizzie-bennetdarcy and anyone else who wants to 😘

Shit. This moment calls for a lot of different emotions, but that one is the most prominent. The glaring neon sign at the forefront of her brain as she registers the second pink line that’s becoming increasingly blurry.

She brings a hand to her mouth, covering a silent exclamation. She wouldn’t have to. It’s not like there’s anybody around to hear. Just the secondhand furniture, personal items moved from her Mom’s place, and a few decorative things she bought to make the apartment more cozy.

She sinks to the bed still clutching the plastic stick tightly between her fingers. Something about sitting there feels almost like she’s breaking the laws of a sacred space. Normally that would be right up her alley. Poking at the edges of societal norms just to see what she could get away with. But right now, perched on the edge of the mattress with a positive pregnancy test feels wrong. Even if it is the same place it happened. The place where her and Eddie first stumbled into something more than friendship together after too many drinks at the bar one night. Where they woke up the next morning and muddled through Did we just… and We could do it again. Where they kept landing until they had the guts to admit it was fun, but not what either of them really wanted. Because they both missed their best friend and enjoying each other without the expectations of romance.

Not to mention the Evan of it all. Shannon had seen it coming from a mile away. From the first week her and Eddie met him at the Brass Bell and kept managing to run into him as he settled into town.

A few people, one or two of her girlfriends included, whispered about Eddie and Evan getting together so quickly after the “breakup”. Some, thinking they were being supportive, came to her bitching about how rotten the situation was and that she deserved better. How dare he leave her for someone he barely knows? Honestly, it gave her a great deal of satisfaction watching them go pale when she casually mentioned she not only didn’t mind, but had pushed Eddie towards him.

It was already obvious that her and Eddie weren’t heading for anything serious. And, as his self proclaimed platonic soulmate who knows him better than he knows himself, she felt it was only a matter of time anyway. Why delay the inevitable?

She looks at the two lines again. How is she going to tell him? He’s the happiest she’s seen him in a long time. Maybe ever. Without question, he’s going to feel that overwhelming sense of loyalty and responsibility. The same fiercely protective instinct he has for Sophia and Adriana. Shannon can already see him devoting himself to this– Fuck, she can’t even think the word to herself. But he’ll throw himself into caring for her and break Evan’s heart. She can’t let him do that. Not when she doesn’t even know if she wants to move forward with everything.

Shannon sits up a little taller, wiping away the remaining dampness from her eyes and cheeks, and makes a decision. She walks the test to the closest trash can, ties up the mostly empty bag, and drops it down the building’s garbage chute.

When she returns to her apartment, she navigates to the last picture Eddie texted of him and Evan. They look… blissful. Content. He and Evan have their arms wrapped around each other while Evan presses a kiss to Eddie’s cheek. His skin is flushed and rosy, making him look almost bashful.

She can’t tell him. It’s as simple as that. Eddie hasn’t said anything, but he doesn’t have to. She knows that look. He’s in love. Even though it’ll be ages until he allows himself to admit it and say the words out loud, that doesn’t make it any less true.

There’s still time, she thinks. Time for her to get a checkup, to gather facts, to evaluate what she wants to do. Time to let Eddie be in love and hope he forgives her for not saying anything.

#there will be no Shannon bashing or hatred #understand my dudes????#so a lotta angst in the middle #or maybe right up front???#who knows...#certainly not me #tw pregnancy #usernolan #buddie wip #hippo writes #fic: you can plan for a change in the weather and time #tease tidbit tuesday #wip wednesday

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fcbfemeni-11 · 4 months

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Draft (Ashley Sanchez)

Olivia is dating fellow Spirit and USWNT player, Ashley Sanchez. The yearly NWSL draft breaks more hearts than anyone imagined.

Im currently in Portland with Sophia. I play for the Spirit but it’s currently off season so i am spending some time with Soph, one of my best friends.

“You excited?” Asked Soph as she sat beside me on the couch.

“For sure. We’ve got three first round picks.” I said.

“Trading Sam Stabb though?” Sophia asked me, looking at me as i sighed.

“Yeah, look, the whole system is messed up. I hate the whole trading thing. I don’t understand why we can’t just adopt a normal transfer policy like everyone else. I mean, you don’t even need to agree to the move here, if the club wants to trade you then they will no matter if you agree or not and it’s not fair.” I shrugged back. I’ve always had an open opinion on the way things are done in this league.

“I agree. Oh, look, it’s starting.” Soph said as the draft began.

I watched the first three before i rushed off to the bathroom. When i came back i stopped in my tracks as i saw Soph, sitting staring at me. The look in her eyes told me everything. Something had happened. Something bad had happened. I slowly walked over and she stood up, giving me a tight hug before we both sat down. She sighed, looking at me softly.

“What happened, Soph? Have you been traded?” I asked, chuckling at how stupid that sounded. Of course Soph hadn’t been traded.

“No. It’s Ash.” Soph said and my eyes widened as my jaw dropped.

“Shut up. Stop playing. You’re lying. She signed a new deal. There’s no way.” I stuttered out, grabbing my phone.

“She was traded to North Carolina for the 5th draft pick.” Soph stated and i immediately grabbed my phone.

“Who even decided that would be a good move? Ashy under Jona was going to be insane. She loves DC, she loves the club. We let her go in order to sign an extra rookie? Nothing against them, i’m sure they’re great. We already had multiple first round picks. I don’t even understand.” I sighed and Soph immediately put her arm around me.

I opened my phone and saw the official confirmation on Spirits instagram, i scoffed as i read the short goodbye. As i opened the comments they were full of Spirit fans bashing the club for this decision as well as people worrying about not only Ash but me and Trin as well. I decided to comment.

“You deserved better, Ashy.”

She does. She deserves so much better. She didn’t agree to this. I know she didn’t. It’s not fair. Will i get in trouble for my comment? Yeah, probably. Do i care? No. They broke her. They broke a lot of people. It’s stupid.

My thoughts were so loud, so loud that Soph tightened her grip around me. I was pulled out of my thoughts when my phone began to ring. I rolled my eyes as i neared it but when i lifted it up to read the screen and saw my girlfriend was face timing me, i immediately answered.

Ashy❤️

She was crying which made me tear up. This is so unfair.

“Ashy..” I whispered so softly as my voice broke at the sight.

“It’s okay, love. It’s all going to be okay.” She whispered, trying to not only convince me but also convince herself.

“Did you know? Did they tell you?” I asked and my girlfriend gave me a look as if to say it dosent matter.

“Ashy, did they fucking tell you?” I asked again.

“No. I didn’t know. I found out on Instagram. No one told me. I didn’t want to leave. I signed a new deal. This is my home, i wanted to stay.” She said, a couple of tears falling down her face.

“Unbelievable,”I scoffed,”I’m coming with you.” I blurted out. Sophia looked at me softly, she understood my heart break. Ashley looked at me like she always does, her eyes were full of love and i couldn’t help but smile softly at her.

“No. Liv, you’re not going anywhere. You have a contract until 2026, just like Trin. In two years you can leave.” She told me and i sighed.

“Yeah, a contract? You had one of those too. They don’t mean shit over here. NCC wanted me last season, i said no. I know they still want me. If i just tell my agent i want to go, i can force Spirit to trade me.” I stated, confident.

“No, Liv. You have a story to write here in DC. You and Trinity have not finished that story yet. You still have so much more to accomplish here.” Ashley said, softly as usual but i wasn’t convinced.

“None of that seems as important as it did when you were apart of it. Mine and Trin’s stories will never be complete, not without you in them. They played you, and i’m so mad at them. Me and Trin could easily come with you. I don’t want to be without you, either does she.” I sighed, tears finally spilling from my eyes.

“Soph…Help me out here.” Ashley pleaded with the Thorns forward who gave me a soft smile.

“She’s right. You love DC and you love the club. You don’t want to leave, kid. I know you don’t, and you know it too.” Sophia said, but she was wrong.

“You’re wrong! Both of you! I do love it here, it’s my home away from home and being here has given me the best years of my life. I’ve met so many amazing people here, who will remain in my life forever. But not wanting to leave? I have no desire to stay anymore. The organisation is messed up. They don’t care about us players, if they did none of this would have happened. Both you and Sam were traded without any warning. I don’t want to be apart of that.” I was clear in what i was saying.

“Jona is coming soon. You were so excited to play under him.” Sophia said to me and Ashley hummed in agreement.

“You were jumping around like crazy when he was announced.” Ashley added.

“I was excited, you’re right, but so were you. I would love to play under Jonatan. Look, i love DC so much. I love the fans and my Spirit teammates. Yesterday, i had no desire to leave. It wasn’t something that was fully off the cards, but it wasn’t something i was desperate for or looking for. Now, i have no desire to stay. I feel betrayed for you.” I told Ashley.

“Wait, Trin is calling.” Ashley told me.

“Add her.” I said and so she did. Trinity joined the face time, quite clearly crying.

“I’m coming with you.�� Trinity said softly.

“I just had this conversation with Liv. No one is going anywhere.” Ashley said but Trinity had a look in her eye, one that told me she was being serious.

“No, Ash. I’m being serious. I forced a trade. I’m being traded to NCC, too.” Trinity said and Ashley’s jaw dropped but soon a smile formed on her face.

“Liv…” Ashley began but my mind was made up.

“No. I’m leaving.” I simply stated before leaving the group face time.

“This is it then?” Sophia asked and i nodded before hugging her.

“I love her. She’s my world, Soph. I need to be with her. She means more to me than anything in this world. This club betrayed her and i cannot be apart of something that does not respect the players. It’s crazy.” I said into her shoulder and she nodded, holding me close for a few minutes.

***

After a couple of hours, i was also traded to NCC. It wasn’t difficult really. I was pretty clear with Spirit and they basically had no choice.

After it was done, i joined the group face time again. This time with a smile on my face. Ashley knew as soon as i joined due to the smile on my face. As soon as she saw me she grinned.

“Any room for a third?” I asked as i joined while they were talking about apartments and both girls smiled happily.

“Great. Just when i thought i wouldn’t need to third wheel anymore.” Trinity teased.

“You’ll still get your own room, be grateful.” I joked back and she laughed.

“Olivia, i love you wholeheartedly.” Ashley said to me and i blushed slightly.

“Forever, Ashy. I love you, forever.” I said back and she gave me a soft smile.

***

Both mine and Trin’s trades were announced to the world that evening. It didn’t really come as a shock to anyone. I felt the need to put out a statement, alongside my goodbye. I felt the fans deserved an explanation because they don’t deserve any of this.

Spirit family…Wow. I have no words. Being here, in DC, has been extraordinary in so many different ways. These past few years have been the best of my life and i never expected it to end so soon. I would like to express my gratitude to the fans and my teammates for everything. This has nothing to do with you! Thank you, i’ll miss you all!!

Leaving DC was never something i desired. I signed a new deal because i was happy and confident in this teams ability, the later never changing. However, earlier today everything changed. I felt betrayed by the actions of the people higher up and my heart was broken. Some things are a lot more important to me than this game, so yes, moving to follow my partner was an easy decision especially after the absurd treatment she received from the club.

The ruled need to change for the players sakes. Our future is never guaranteed. Contracts mean nothing and this NEEDS to change.

“I don’t regret anything.” I sighed happily as i lay my head on Soph’s shoulder, content with my decision.

“I knew you would go with her.” She simply said.

“You did? How?” I asked my best friend who smiled.

“Livy, you are so lovestruck it’s incredible. You would do anything for her, and she would do the same for you. If the roles were reversed she would leave with you, that’s for sure. Shes your soulmate, the love of your life. She is the person you want to spent the rest of your life with, you want to be with her every single minute. The way everything happened opened your eyes. You need to protect her, you feel. I think you’ve made a good decision. Maybe this will hurry you up in putting a ring on her finger.” Sophia said, chuckling at the end.

“We have only been dating for 4 years.” I said, laughing.

“That’s a very long time. Shes turning twenty five this year, so she was twenty one when you started dating and, wow, you were eighteen. That’s a long time ago, lil sis.” She shrugged and i blushed. I then got up and walked away, going into my suitcase and pulling out a box. I walked back into the room and Sophia practically jumped up from her seat.

“Shut up!!” She screamed and i laughed.

“You’re doing it? When? Where? How? What? Since when?” The questions were flying as excitement overcame her.

“Since the world cup. We were talking about it, she said she wants to marry me sooner rather than later. I asked her what age and she said between 24 and 25, before walking away. She basically hinted at it and then i went and bought a ring. I don’t know what i’m going to do. Get her to come to Portland, make up a reason. We’ll go somewhere and i’ll ask her.” I said and Sophia jumped into my arms.

“Oh my god!! I’m so excited!! Shouldn’t you ask her to come, though?” She asked me.

“I’m not sure, Smith, guess you’ll need to figure out how to get her here.” I shrugged as i slipped the ring back into my pocket.

“You’re a real pain you know.” She said and i just smiled.

#woso x reader #woso soccer #uswnt #uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #sophia smith #trinity rodman #ashley sanchez #uswnt players #woso #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso one shot

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karbisworld · 10 months

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P.3 <3

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓⟪SHIP⟫˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦ Jake Peralta x Reader

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⟪CATEGORIES⟫˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦ Romance // Comedy // Little angst // Friends to Lovers

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ⊹⟪SUMMARY⟫⊹ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦ Jake Peralta just got his heart broken by the two women's he liked the most, his formal girlfriend at the time Sophia Perez, who broke with him and his another romantic interest Amy after she told him that she didn't wanted a relationship inside work; now he's alone with only his friends.

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁

Next morning you woke up with a headache that felt like if an elephant has passed over your head. You felt your body a little more heavy than normal, you thought it was for the drinking but when you opened your eyes you noticed that Jake had one of his arms wrapped around you while he was sleeping, you felt your heart stop working for a second but then you heard him muffle something.

-w-wait A-Amy- you heard him say and that absolutely broke your heart, you didn't even cared what he was actually dreaming about, Amy could be strangling him and you couldn't care less about it

It was just annoying, the way even Charles considers you the second option, how he would love the idea of Jake and Amy dating and how you would be a plan B if things go wrong, it was annoying and you were tired.

You moved Jakes arm out of you, after all he was basically passed out so he didn't even noticed, you wanted to just leave but you still cared about him maybe a dumb decision but you just couldn't help it, but also you knew that you deserve better, and that when things don't get better with one person you need to start searching for a new one…

You went to his little laundry room and you took your still a little wet clothes; you put them on a plastic bag and left the apartment. You didn't really wanted to leave him alone so you called Charles

-Hello Y/N how is the lovey dovey stuff going? TELL ME EVERYTHING!- Charles said in an excited voice

-SHUT UP! I am hang over!- You say annoyed through the phone -Listen I know you had no freaking lead of anything yesterday, so it's time to pay for that, come to his apartment and take care of him-

-What happened?- Charles says worried

-Nothing happened, the dude just puked on me since he got horribly drunk and then passed out, he's still passed out, but I am no man's nanny so you better come and take care of him- you say with an annoyed tone of voice while getting in your car

-You sound upset, are you okay?- Charles said worried

-Just shut up and come babysit your friend, this fucking hangover is killing me too much to be his nanny that's it- you say annoyed and hang up the phone, you felt annoyed yet sad, about everything and with those two, and everyone, everything felt shitty and you just wanted to go home and stay in bed all day.

Charles view

Charles felt slightly worried at all that call but didn't thought much about it and just went to Jake's place, he lived close to him so it didn't took him long. He could've swear that saw Y/N's car leaving as he arrived, it might be true it might not, the important thing is Jake.

Charles got into Jake's apartment to noticing still sleeping on the bed, Charles thought on making breakfast but as he walked to the little kitchen he noticed a little bagel and a coffee in a table, it was noticeable that it was fresh since the coffee was still very hot, Charles smiled and shakes his head.

-Jake…- He starts trying to wake Jake out preparing some small medicine for the hangover -Jake wake up-

Jake starts waking up slowly and jumps out of scare looking at Charles -Charles what are you doing here?…- he asks a little confused feeling his head like if it was about to explode -Where is Y/N?-

Charles shrugs -In her apartment I suppose- he says handing Jake the hangover cure -She called me in the morning for me to come and care for you-

Jake looks a little embarrassed -Man, maybe she's mad at me… I fucked up and ended up throwing up on her…- he says ashamed

-Yeah she mentioned it but I don't think she was annoyed at you- he say handing him the coffee and the bagel -She left this here for you-

Jake smiles -Man, I owe that woman a lot now-

Charles nods -So can I ask what happened yesterday? She slept here didn't she?- he asks with a teasing voice

Jake's eyes widen a little bit and shakes her head -No… I mean, yeah but it isn't anything that you're thinking about, I just messed up her clothes and so she had to borrow some mine and I invited her to stay but just in a friend way, nothing more- he says looking a little shy

-No wonder she was annoyed- Charles whisper to himself

-What?- Jake questioned

-Nothing!- says Charles noticing the words that came out of his mouth -Anyways! You just rest okay? I still have some work on the precinct, but I will bring you some food later!- said Charles trying to escape but Jake stopped him

-Wait, tell me what did you said before first- he says stopping him from leaving -Or I will find a new best friend!- said Jake threatening Charles with his biggest fear

-Jake I can't Y/N is going to kill me… Don't do this- Charles says really trying to escape

Jake let's him go and gives Charles his back -Okay then, I thought we were best friends but I guess not-

Charles felt like exploding, for one side you were going to kill him and from the other side Jake was leaving him out of their friendship, he couldn't stand it… -Y/N-HAS-A-CRUSH-ON-YOU- He says quickly like letting a bomb out

-WHAT?!- Jake asks in shock -SINCE WHEN?!, HOW DO YOU KNOW?!-

-Jake please I can't answer all that, I just… Found out a while ago okay? That's it, now I really need to go bye- Charles said running away from Jake's apartment. Jake tried to stop him but wasn't able to leaving him with those news.

A couple of days passed by and you guys started working again, you had no idea Charles spilled your secret and Jake tried to not make it noticeable that he knew.

-Hey Y/N, here I got you this- Jake says handing you a cup of coffee and a bagel -Repayment- he says with a smile

-Thanks- you smile back and kept on doing some paperwork, you still felt a little hurt by what happened so you just decided to take a little distance from Jake

-Anyhow, I would like to invite you dinner since… Well I still feel guilty for what happened- Jake says to you

-Today?-

-If you're free then yes!-

-Sorry I am actually not free- you say trying to not get in much detail

-Are you sure? I will take us to a good restaurant and everything- he says playfully, you just shake your head

-I am sure, I already have plans, sorry- you admit

Jake nods -It's okay- he says a little disappointed -may I ask what are you doing tonight?- he asks curious

You felt a little uncomfortable to say it but at the same time you thought "Fuck it" -I have a date- you admit

-A date huh?- Sargent Jeffords says as he overheard you while passing by -Who's the lucky fella?-

You felt a little more embarrassed at the office noticing, you didn't like to open up much about those things -It's a mutual friend, my best friend will come with their partner and will present me to this guy better… Kinda like a double date-

-So you don't know him?- Jake asks

-I kinda do, we have met in my friend birthday parties or events like that and we hit it off really well but he had a partner at that time so, now he has been single for a while, me too, so we are gonna try- you say with a little hope that he would help you take Jake out of your brain

-It's this guy?- Jake roll his computer screen to you to show you your date's Facebook

-How did you?…-

-I just had to navigate over your friend's pictures to notice a group one in their birthday and since your group of friends is mostly girls it wasn't hard to assume this was the guy- he says in a cocky tone of voice

-Jake is a great detective!- said Charles

-That's scary don't stalk my date or my friends- you said a little uncomfortable at that -It's nothing serious anyway- you say taking your coat as the work day was ending

-It is serious, look at what you're wearing, that's definitely serious- Jake's say pointing at your dress

-Seriously stop- you say to Jake getting a little annoyed at his comments exposing you at the office

-Fine fine- says Jake taking his own coat to leave too -Hold the elevator, I am leaving too- he says to you and you do. No one thinks much of it.

The elevator opens and you two walk to your respective cars.

-Make sure to take care of yourself!- Jake says to you

-I know- you say getting in your car and leaving

Jake feels the urge to follow you just in case but he also doesn't want to present himself as more of an stalker. Just his luck, he just discovered you had a crush on him and you start moving on… Maybe he's truly not made for love…

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stardewremixed · 5 months

Text

SDV + SVE Pairings

This is just random fluff headcanon about good pairings in Stardew Valley, imo.

Alex

+ Abigail (already wrote a post on this adorable pairing)

+ Penny (something tells me he would be super protective of her and just the kind of adventure she needs and she would be so good to Evelyn and George, endearing him even more)

Elliott

+ Olivia (from SVE - a little May-December romance going on here)

+ Penny (he would take such good care of her, showering her with praise and adoration, and she deserves it)

+ Claire (from SVE - she's half-in-love with him already as an avid reader of his books; he would just lap up the praise)

+ Sophia (from SVE - the wine is what brings them together and love of fantasy)

Shane

+ Emily (I think she would be a good influence in his life, a bit mothering at times, but he needs a firm supporter and cheerleader in his corner when he's detoxing, plus she would spoil Jas rotten)

+ Haley (an odd pairing at first glance, but this headcanon, though not explicitly Haley, has me convinced these two would make a good pair somehow)

+ Abigail (this girl LOVES the egg hunt, and gets super into talking about chickens with him; and he kinda likes watching her from a distance, not quite sure what to make of this purple-haired beauty, but he is attracted to her joy and silliness, and she just wants to bring a smile to his face and make him happy)

+ Leah (she would not put up with his bullcrap; she would dish it right back; she would hang in there with him like a champ while he detoxed and tell him what he needs to hear; and she would be good to Jas, plus she lives close by; and I think he would appreciate homecooked meals as he eats a lot of pizza at the Saloon and frozen dinners from Joja at home; I don't think Marnie cooks much; and he would appreciate her passion for art and the outdoors, particularly their shared fondness for Cindersap Woods; she could keep up with him when he is at his best; and these two would be fire together in bed)

Magnus (Wizard from SVE)

+ Emily (something tells me this pairing would be magical *wink wink*)

+ Olivia (SVE - I'm not sure why, but this works in my head and he would give her the best "trinkets;" and he would greatly admire her first-editions collection and appreciate the library she has cultivated; somehow I also think it would be really funny for these two to get high together like she did in college in the '70s)

Harvey

+ Penny (he would also take very good care of her, and he's established with a solid career, older, a bit more experienced, and help her work through PTSD of living with an alcoholic mom)

+ Leah (oh she definitely is a capable, independent woman and catches his eye, and she likes teasing and spoiling him with goods from the woods *face palm* did not mean to make that rhyme. She would bring him salads and healthy meals and they'd enjoy a good bottle of wine or a good cup of coffee together)

+ Haley (he would spoil her and call her princess, and she would dote on him; it's all very flattering; he would also invite her to spruce up the clinic and let her display her photography; and when she cries and has a bad day, he would give her the TLC she needs; and I think she would be generous with the massages and kisses; plus, I know, this is a bit shallow, but he has a well-respected job and some money, which would impress her)

+ Claire (SVE - these two intellectuals would never run out of things to talk about, even though they are both quiet people; and they would be comfortable with the quiet; I could see them spending lazy rainy afternoons and evenings together, just reading, some soft jazz on in the background)

Sebastian

+ Leah (she would scare the hell outta him initially, but he would be secretly impressed by her woodchopping and have mad respect for her independence and fall madly in love with this redhead; she would give him the space he needs, uninterrupted, so he could work without his family constantly butting in; and I see her spoiling this touch-starved man with good food and tender loving care)

+ Haley (another odd pairing, BUT, hear me out, I think she'd ask him for help fixing her iPhone or iPad or something and at first, would be kinda annoyed by his aloofness, but then somehow would make it her mission to make sure this boy had the 'sweets;' like she would bake him a cake every week and hope something else would break just so she could see him again; he would think she's spoiled and annoying at first, but gradually grow to appreciate her artistic abilities - like seeing her out in the rain one day photographing frogs and the river and being impressed with her work; also he would secretly stalk her Instagram just so he could figure out where she was in town and casually 'bump' into her; I could see him being super into black & white photography; as Haley softens up and matures a bit, he could see himself pursuing her; and she would be totally down to follow him to Zuzu so he could pursue his dreams)

+ Claire (from SVE - it would start with them both wanting the same book at the library; of course, Seb would let her have it, but she promised to return it when she was done and let him check it out, and she stays true to her word; these two are both quiet individuals so I could see them reading together on a rainy day in the library, and seeing each other often enough, asking what the other is reading, and then gradually it becoming a habit to sit together; another girl he would introduce to digitized books; also Claire strikes me as a secret geek, totally down to try DnD and enjoying Journey of the Prairie King)

Sam

+ Scarlet (from SVE - technically not a romance candidate, but I like the idea of these two together; she is into anime and theater and cosplay and he likes her geeky side and how enthusiastically she talks about it with anyone who will listen; plus I think, she would appreciate his wicked guitar skills)

+ Emily (a little weird as a pairing, and she is an older woman, BUT, he likes how she takes care of him, bringing him a scarf on a windy day, giving him a Claritin when his spring allergies get bad, carrying around a first-aid kit when he bangs up his elbows and knees skateboarding, and keeping an eye on him when he's drinking at the Saloon; I think she enjoys having someone to take care of, someone who is carefree and happy-go-lucky like she is and open to trying anything)

+ Sophia (from SVE - what can I say? I think Sam is attracted to smart, competent, independent women; I also think they would bond because her parents died when she was younger, and he deeply misses his dad, even after Kent comes back and is suffering with PTSD; Sophia would help him through navigating it having navigated it herself; and she would appreciate his joy in life, plus I could see them both being geeky together)

Lance

+ Abigail (think of the adventures these two could/would have - enough said)

+ Scarlet (from SVE - for similar reasons as Abigail - I think she would enjoy going on adventures with Lance)

+ Leah (they are both strong and independent people, dedicated to their work, capable of being on their own for awhile, but I do think the passion would burn hot between these two)

+ Claire (SVE - she would swoon a little, to go on adventures she has only read about, and he would love to show her the world *cue Aladdin music now*)

+ Olivia (SVE - a little odd at first, but she likes that he is worldly and traveled and he appreciates her voracious appetite for literature and her cultured background; they are intellectual equals)

Victor (SVE)

+ Maru (I just love the idea of these two together; she might come over to borrow a book about astronomy and they would stay up late into the night discussing space exploration, robotics, and engineering; these two intellectuals would always enjoy each other's company and help the other with their projects; plus they both understand what it's like to have a 'hovering' parent and wouldn't mind escaping together every once in awhile)

+ Penny (another intellectual pairing; I also think he would take good care of her and enjoy spoiling her, maybe even designing a home for them to live in as an engineer; and she would fall madly in love with his library and adore how he had read all the same books she has)

Gus (not really a love interest... but... I couldn't help myself)

+ Penny (yes, you guessed it, she is attracted to men who can take care of her, and secretly loves being spoiled; they would work together in the community garden, and he always ensures she has enough food at home; she appreciates how he has always looked out for her; while kind-of a dad figure to her, now as an adult, she sees him in a whole new light - and finds herself feeling things she never thought she would; and he always saw her as much too young for him, but he admires her resilience and is beyond flattered when she confesses her feelings to him; age is just a number, right?; plus these two would be great teachers together, maybe cooking classes in the newly restored community center; and then some sensual cooking and foodplay in his apartment)

Clint

+ Sophia (SVE - as two respected business-owners in town, they would initially have that in common; after being rejected by Emily, Clint's heart is tender and raw; he doesn't think he will love again; She takes some projects to him and appreciates his attention to detail; she finds herself lingering even after she's dropped something off or after she's paid and picked up her item; one day she asks him to deliver something out to her vineyard, but then he gets stuck during a snowstorm; she cooks him a meal, something he hasn't had in a long time; he is touched by her generosity and hospitality; Sophia longs to make him feel better and to help him heal after rejection, but she's super shy and he's a bit too; so maybe she starts with an innocent invitation to dinner after that first one they had by accident because of the snow storm, but then they start enjoying a few meals together, and a glass of wine/beer at the Saloon, and soon he's walking her home on Friday nights, until one night... she invites him inside for more than just a nightcap... and...)

Who's your favorite? Any particular pairing from above that you'd like to see me write together in a "headcanon" post?

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julietashton · 1 year

Text

it’s hard to be anywhere these days (when all i want is you) - six

part one. // part two. // part three. // part four. // part five. or read on ao3

warning: smut, 18+

six.

The roof ended up being her choice of hiding spot like he knew it would. They had spent countless nights there, the both of them, talking about everything and nothing. It had been those moments the ones Peter had missed the most during his self-imposed isolation, and the main reason why he’d had trouble sleeping at night—because he’d wished he was up there on that roof with her.

The door wasn’t locked but it was evident she wasn’t expecting him to follow her, because her shoulders tensed when she heard him.

The night was chilly but clear, or as clear as New York City’s sky would allow it. It was nothing like the farm, where it was dead silent and the stars were bright. The city was restless beneath them but Peter still preferred it, and he knew Sophia did too, even if she was hugging and rubbing her arms to protect herself from the cold.

He went to take off his jacket to give it to her, but before he could, Sophia spoke.

“Don’t,” she snapped sharply, without even turning around. She kept her gaze firmly on the skyline and her back to him.

Peter stopped dead in his tracks. “You’re freezing.”

“I’d rather freeze to death than accept anything from you right now.”

He knew she lashed out when she was angry but it still hurt. He wanted to be stubborn about it but decided to respect her wishes and keep his jacket.

“Why don’t we go and talk somewhere else then?” he suggested softly, going to stand next to her on the edge.

Sophia growled. “I don’t want to talk to you, Peter. Didn’t I leave that clear tonight?”

“Yes, very clear,” he huffed. “But you never said the reason why.”

She let out a dry laugh. “How annoying, isn’t it? When you try to communicate with someone and you keep crashing into a wall because they don’t want to.”

Peter observed her profile; haughty chin, elegant neck, red cheeks and nose from the cold. He felt that stab of longing again and he wondered how he’d managed to stay away from her for so long. No wonder he’d felt like he’d been dying slowly all this time.

“I know I deserve it,” he said quietly. “And if I could, I’d let you ignore me, but I can’t.”

That made her finally look at him; her expression full of irony.

“You can’t?” she scoffed.

“No, I can’t.”

“You were happy to be ignored a few months ago—”

“You hadn’t kissed me a few months ago.”

She blinked at that, surprise flashing across her face at his bluntness; he usually wasn’t so direct. It even seemed as if she was blushing too, but she was quick to recover and frown.

“Oh, so a kiss was all it took to get some sense into you? Please, don’t be cliché—”

“No, it wasn’t all it took. I almost died again, remember?” he pointed out. Sophia stiffened at the reminder. “I just—I was already flaking, Soph. Being so isolated from everyone I love… You were right—of course you were right. I don’t have to tell you because you already know you were and you knew what it would do to me.”

Sophia simply stared at him, and he took it as a good sign that she wasn’t arguing or storming out.

“I really thought I was doing the right thing,” he confessed quietly and sincerely, ashamed by his ingenuity. “I really thought I could keep you all safe by staying away. That was all I really wanted—for you all to live.”

She didn’t say anything and he didn’t keep talking. The murmur of the city was the only sound.

“I know,” Sophia whispered eventually. “And I think the world of you for that, but it’s also stupid.”

Peter couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, you left that very clear too.”

She rolled her eyes but her lips twitched again, the same way they had done back when they were having dinner. She was trying not to smile and his heart fluttered as he looked at her, the yearning getting unbearable.

“It was killing me,” Peter blurted out without even thinking. He realised the whole thing was choking him, and he would explode if he didn’t let it out. “I would spend days without speaking to anyone. I would sit in May’s hospital window and stay there for hours, and I lost count of how many times I hacked into FRIDAY’s system to see how Tony was doing. I stalked Ned’s socials every day, too.”

Her eyes softened, and she was about to say something, but she couldn’t hold back a sneeze. Peter frowned at that, taking off his jacket and placing it on her shoulders with determination. He took it as another good sign that she didn’t complain and actually snuggled into it, appreciating the warmth.

“Thanks,” she mumbled almost resignedly. “And me? Did you stalk me too?”

Peter shook his head. “No, not you.”

He saw the hurt and disappointment in her expression, so he quickly explained himself:

“I couldn’t—I couldn’t do it with you, Soph. It hurt too much to even think about you. If I had seen you even on Instagram on a daily basis…it would’ve broken me.” He shook his head. “The one time I did was for your graduation, and just one look at you from afar almost made me throw it all away.”

At that, Sophia drew in a sharp breath, her eyes widening and glistening.

“You went to my graduation?”

Peter nodded timidly. “Of course I did.”

Many emotions crossed her face but they were so fast that Peter couldn’t follow them all. He thought she would lower her guard even more after that confession, after he’d shown her he’d tried to be present for her in his own way, but once again, Sophia surprised him.

She growled and took his jacket off her shoulders, to then throw it at his shocked face.

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I CRIED BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T THERE?” she cried.

Peter blinked. “I’m—”

“I THOUGHT YOU HAD SEEN MY INVITATION AND STILL HAD DECIDED TO IGNORE IT AND NOT SHOW UP!”

“But I did,” he whispered weakly, but she ignored him.

“I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T CARE ABOUT ME, YOU MASSIVE TWAT WITH A MARTYR COMPLEX—”

Peter winced but couldn’t really find anything to refute that, because he was a twat with a martyr complex and he had hurt her. He hated that he had, especially now that he was seeing the pain in her eyes and the deep sorrow in her expression. He wished he could take it all back, he wished for that more than anything, but he couldn’t.

He could only make up for it—and he needed to start making it up to her now.

So, Peter kissed her.

It caught her off guard; Sophia gasped against his mouth, both shockingly and angrily. But when he wrapped his arms around her back and brought her closer to him, she closed her eyes and responded with a bruising kiss. Peter shivered against her, moaning when he felt her fingers pulling at his hair, his mouth burning against hers.

He traced her lips with his tongue, desperate to savour her, and feeling delighted when she opened her mouth to him. He pushed his tongue in and brushed it against hers, greedily stealing the sigh that slipped from her when they tasted each other.

His head was spinning, his ears were buzzing, his blood was singing, and Peter simply couldn’t get enough of her. His hands gripped her, palming her, drawing them impossibly close as Sophia kissed him into insanity.

“I’m still mad at you,” she mumbled against his mouth, clutching at the neck of his shirt and pulling him closer. She bit his lips and nibbled on them, making him moan.

He stumbled forward and pinned her against the balcony.

“And I’m madly in love with you,” Peter rasped out, cradling her face in his hands and boring his eyes into hers. “If I have to spend another minute without you, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Sophia blinked up at him in surprise, her chest heaving up and down.

“Peter…”

“Please, give me a chance,” he whispered, pressing their foreheads together. “I know I screwed up, but if you feel even remotely the same way about me, I need us to—”

“Peter,” she cut him off softly, placing her hands on top of his and looking at him with a smile. It was the first smile she’d given him in so long that his heart skipped a beat. “I love you too.”

He gaped at her, unable to believe his own ears.

“You—do?” he asked, feeling as if his heart was going to burst inside his chest. “You love me?”

“Of course I do. I have for a long time,” she huffed, rolling her eyes fondly, only to give him a serious look a second later. “Just—don’t push me away ever again.”

“Never,” he promised in a breath, locking their lips together again. “Never, never again.”

He felt her smile and he couldn’t help but melt into her, sighing when her cold fingers curled in the nape of his neck and played with his hair.

“You’re freezing,” he muttered, surrounding her body with his arms. “You shouldn’t have taken off my jacket.”

“It was the only thing I had to throw at you,” she mumbled back, withdrawing her mouth from his to pepper kisses on his jaw and neck. She sucked on his pulse point, earning another moan from him, before he felt her hot breath on his ear. “But we could go to my room.”

Peter’s senses went haywire at the implication, the closest to being high he’d ever felt.

“O-Okay,” he choked out.

Sophia stared at him. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

He breathed out a laugh. “If I don’t want to? Really? I want to do everything with you.”

She smiled, her cheeks getting pink. “You look a bit scared.”

“Scared that I’m dreaming,” he corrected, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Not of what we could do.”

“We’ll have to be careful to avoid everybody,” she commented, her smile widening, already slipping away from his embrace to begin walking towards the door. “Or else we’ll never hear the end of it.”

Peter shuddered at the mere idea, especially when he thought of Tony possibly catching them sneaking into Sophia’s bedroom. They were adults alright, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be awkward—or traumatising for both parties.

He caught her hand and pulled her back into his body. He smiled at her confused face.

“I have a better idea.”

***

“Do you reckon the neighbours could see my knickers if they looked up?” Sophia giggled in his ear.

“You practically own the building, you don’t have neighbours,” he pointed out, half-amused and half-offended by her temerity.

She was on his back like a monkey while he climbed a building of 400 feet with just his web-shooters, after all. Perhaps she should have been concerned by other things—for instance, her safety and holding tightly onto him.

Not that he would ever let her fall. He’d rather be split in half than let that happen.

“Well, but imagine I did have them,” she insisted cheerfully.

“I’d kick the ass of anyone who tried,” Peter grumbled as he pushed her bedroom’s window open.

He heard her snort as he landed on her bedroom floor. Once she climbed down his back, he turned to look at her, finding her grinning that grin of hers that made him feel ridiculously warm inside.

“That would be very unheroic,” she said, cocking an eyebrow playfully at him. “Abusing your powers like that.”

The room was dark, but the street lights and the pale, weak moonlight coming from the window were enough for her face to be illuminated ethereally. She looked breathtakingly beautiful, and Peter was having a hard time believing the situation he was in.

“Maybe I’m not as good as you think I am,” he said quietly.

Right then, it was impossible to believe he would ever deserve her.

At that, her playful expression changed into a more grounded one, and he hated himself for ruining the moment. Before he could try to go back to it though, Sophia took the few steps that separated them and placed one hand on his shoulders, using the other one to cup his jaw softly. Peter couldn’t help but lean into it, starved for her touch.

“You’re the best person I know, Peter Parker,” she whispered. “And even at my angriest, I could never think the worst of you.”

He shook his head. “I’ve done—I’ve done very questionable things in these past two years, Soph.”

“Like what, for example?”

“I’ve—I’ve been more cruel than I needed to because I was frustrated and lonely,” he confessed guiltily. “I trusted people I shouldn’t have. I’ve punished people that didn’t deserve it. I’ve acted like I had the higher moral ground when I knew damn well I was doing it just because I was hurting.”

Sophia observed him for a while, her expression unreadable. After a while, she simply shook her head once and brought one of her hands to his hair, to push it back gently. Her eyes were kind and warm as she spoke.

“You may have superpowers, Peter, but you’re still human,” she told him. “No one expects you to be perfect all the time, or to have the clarity to judge properly all the time. You’re allowed to make mistakes, you know?”

“With the level of responsibility I have, I shouldn’t be.”

“Love, you don’t owe anyone anything,” Sophia stated firmly. “I know it’s hard for you Avengers to wrap your head around that, but really, you do enough as it is.”

It was quite a notion what she was suggesting. His younger, more idealist self would have thought of it as selfish and cowardly; now, he wasn’t sure he completely agreed with it, but he wasn’t ready to discard it so easily either. It certainly helped to make life less burdening. He had fought and sacrificed a lot—hell, he’d been ready to give up having the people he loved in his life just to make the world a safer and better place.

Peter looked at her, and the love he felt for her, particularly at that moment, was overwhelming.

“You’ve just called me love,” he blurted out without thinking.

Sophia scoffed. “Was that all you got from what I’ve just said?”

“No, but…” he smiled, feeling shy but ridiculously warm. “I like it when you call me that. I remember you also did it in London.”

She looked embarrassed about it, even looking flustered by the memory of her slip, which only made his smile grow. He took advantage of their closeness and leant in to kiss her again, sighing at the sensation.

“This conversation isn’t over,” she mumbled, but she threw her arms around his neck.

“I know, but we can talk later.”

They had kissed moments ago but he just couldn’t get enough. His hands feel heavy on her hips, his thumbs trailing along her stomach down to her pelvis. Sophia’s hips canted forward and she began unbuttoning his shirt, her fingers touching his skin as she exposed it, making him dizzy with want. Peter dared to slip his hands underneath the hem of her dress and pull it up so he could touch her skin too.

She whimpered against his mouth when his fingers brushed across the front of her knickers, the sound getting him all hot and impatient, especially when she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and her hands began exploring the expanse of his back and chest. He heard her slip her heels off and, without thinking, he lifted her up with one arm. She gasped in surprise but her legs surrounded his waist naturally, allowing him to carry her to the huge bed.

Gently, Peter placed her on the bed, and Sophia looked up at him with those bright eyes of hers as she laid down on it, waiting for him to join her.

His breath caught as he took her in. He could see her perfectly even in the darkness; dishevelled hair, pink cheeks, swollen lips, ruffled dress—he could see the straps of her bra, and her smooth thighs were on full display. He’d dreamed about her like that countless times but he’d never thought it would ever become real.

“Do you even know?” he heard himself asking; his voice a pant.

Sophia tilted her head in confusion. “Know what?”

“How much I want you.”

At that, she smiled and sat up until she was kneeling on the mattress. Holding his stare, she unzipped the back of her dress and slipped it off her, leaving her in only her black—and lacy—underwear.

Peter drew in a sharp breath; his fingers and cock twitching at the mouth-watering sight, desperate to be in contact with her in any way.

“I want you too,” she whispered. “Are you going to keep me waiting?”

By all answers, Peter leant forward and pulled at her knee so that she fell on her back again. Sophia let out a surprised giggle that quickly turned into a sharp exhale when he started crawling up her body to kiss her hard on the mouth. He kissed her until all his nerve-endings were on fire and she was writhing underneath him, digging her nails on his back as he explored and gripped every curve of her body.

Her hands found his belt and undid it, pushing at it frustratedly until Peter stopped kissing her and moved so she could take his jeans off. Once they were gone, he attempted to find her lips again, but Sophia surprised him by tackling him over so he was lying on his back as she straddled him, sitting right on his strained cock. She reached behind her and unclasped her bra before throwing it to a forgotten corner of the room.

Peter’s eyes popped out, completely amazed and enraptured by the sight of her wonderful tits.

“Fucking hell,” he rasped out, sitting up like he’d been electrified and curling his hands around her ribs; his fingers brushed the sides of her breasts and she shivered. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Can I—Can I touch you?”

Sophia smiled before bringing her lips to his ear. “You don’t even have to ask.”

And just like that, his brain shut down, especially when she began to suck on his neck. She was going to leave a mark there, and the thought awoke wild and primal instincts that he couldn’t control. His hands grabbed her breasts and he took them into his mouth, almost coming at the sound that left her lips when he did.

Peter kissed, sucked and licked, driving Sophia incoherent. She writhed above him, rubbing herself against his hard cock; their remaining underwear the only thing between them. It was just fortunate his endurance was remarkable, or he would have already come embarrassingly fast in his pants.

When his teeth grazed one of her nipples and he sucked on it, her fingers pulled at his hair so hard that he stopped and looked up at her. Her pupils were blown wide.

“I need you to fuck me,” she heaved. “Right now.”

Peter nodded, unable to find words. His head and senses were fogged by lust and her—by all of her; her hot and soft skin, her intoxicating smell, her addictive taste. He could die right then and he would go happily.

“Like—Like this?” he stuttered out.

Please, say yes, say yes.

“If you want,” Sophia replied, already moving to get rid of her knickers. “Do you mind me on top?”

Peter breathed out a laugh. “Do I mind you riding me like I’ve been imagining since I was sixteen years old? No, I don’t think so.”

She grinned but instead of saying anything, she kissed him hotly as he slipped off his boxers. When there was nothing between them any more, Peter’s hands gripped her hips and she shifted until the tip of his cock brushed her entrance.

Both of them shivered at the sensation and held their breaths, pressing their foreheads together and staring into each other’s eyes. For a quiet, charged moment, they shared air, time and space.

And then, Sophia moved and took him in with a gasp, without breaking their gaze.

“Oh my God,” Peter groaned, desperately searching for her mouth, to distract himself from the blinding pleasure that shot through him. “Sophia…”

She whimpered and tugged at his hair, raising her hips to slip him out, to then sit down and take him back in with a moan. Peter simply couldn’t take it.

“Fuck.”

“Peter…” she panted against his lips.

“Yes, baby,” he rasped, surrounding her waist with his arms and helping her move. “I’m here.”

His words seemed to encourage her, because she began to ride him like a goddess after that. She had one hand tangled in his hair and the other one gripping his shoulder for leverage. She bounced and ground her hips; she bit his lips and kissed him and Peter could only watch in amazement. The sensations were too much, and he tried to stay as still as possible to let her take control, but it proved to be impossible when he took one of her nipples in his mouth and she let out the sexiest sound he’d ever heard.

He lost it after that.

He gripped her backside and stilled her on top of him, so he could pound into her deep and hard, without stopping the assault on her breasts.

Sophia cried and let him, digging her nails on his shoulders and biting on his lobe to stop herself from being too loud.

“Peter, I—” she began after a while, only to interrupt herself.

She cried out and clenched around him, coming abruptly and holding tightly onto him.

The squeeze tormented him, and stars appeared behind his eyelids; his heart raced and his thrusts became erratic and desperate.

“I love you,” she sighed softly once her high ended.

It was like a switch. The pressure snapped and the dam broke, and he let himself be taken over by this tsunami of pleasure that blinded him. He forgot how to breathe, and Sophia snaked her arms around his neck, anchoring him to her, taking him through his high.

She was the only real thing in this world, the most important thing. Nothing else mattered but her.

“I love you too,” he whispered, before they fell back into the mattress, absolutely exhausted.

The End.

Epilogue?

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