#also the difference in jimmys reactions between both

[funkily]

formal invitation to talk about jausage

thank you anon i love you

this is one of those times where I wish I had an intelligent verbose analysis about them but in reality my thoughts can be boiled down to

[kayawolfhorse]

Once Upon a Player’s Dream

My piece for @hermitseasonzine! Check out the full zine here.

—☾—

Chaos has already broken loose by the time Gem and Oli round the bend of the path. Across the way, the evening sun illuminates Gem’s fellow hermits as they leap between the broken planks of the shattered bridge in front of the rift-less fort. Shrouded in the shadow of the cliff the fort is built into, her fellow emperors try to stop them.

Maybe this wasn’t the best time to take the long route, Gem thinks, giving Oli a shrug before spreading her wings and soaring over the water, landing in the center of the fray.

The mayhem in the fort surrounds Gem from all sides. To Gem’s left, Pearl thrusts her sword toward Lizzie, who jumps back with the distinct non-reaction of every self-respecting cat, and to her right, Oli swoops in and immediately goes after Jevin with a yell. fWhip and Jimmy stand side-by-side in front of the stone facade they’d erected in front of the rift, swatting away any hermit that comes close enough.

“Let us leave!” Grian shouts, swerving to avoid Shubble, who holds her staff outstretched at her side to block as much of the way as she can.

“We don’t want you to leave!” Oli says, leveling his guitar at a rapidly approaching False, before thinking better of it and scampering closer to fWhip.

Not wanting to be left out of the action, Gem whacks a few hermits and emperors alike with the flat of her blade, earning yelps of surprise, but no one really fights back against her. Gem’s sword meets Grian’s when she swipes at him, and confusion plays across his face when he looks up to see her at the end of it. Remembering the character she’s currently playing, Gem backs off with a cheeky grin.

Seemingly as quickly as it started, the skirmish ends. The hermits retreat back to the bridge, a potion thrown in their wake—weakness, by the smell of it—and the emperors gather along the top of the fort, Gem perching on the corner of the wall.

Grian holds his hands up in front of him, dropping his shoulders. “Let’s open the dialogue first. Guys, I can’t stress how much we need to leave.”

Oli’s melodramatic wail is drowned out by fWhip exclaiming, “You built a thing that’s trying to blow up the world! You gotta get rid of the thing that’s trying to blow up the world!”

“No, it’s not going to blow up the world,” Grian attempts to placate, with little success.

“You can’t leave that here!” Shubble protests.

“It’ll kill us all!” Sausage says.

“Grumbot didn’t say anything about blowing anything up,” Grian says.

Hand against his forehead, Oli cries out, “He said he hated the arts!”

“He said he had no money for the arts, which is different,” Grian says, lifting a brow.

With a huff, Oli says, “Well, that’s also bad.” Giggles break out on both sides.

Sobering up, Grian tries again. “If you could just remove a couple blocks of stone, we’ll go on through and be out of your hair!”

From where he’s stood on one of the deepslate supports, Jimmy shakes his head and clicks his tongue, hat slung low over his eyes. Gem supposes the look is meant to come across as intimidating, but the shiny leather of the brim just makes him appear all the more toy-like.

“Jimmy,” Grian warns as Jimmy glides down to the bridge, stopping blocks away from where Grian stands.

Turning back to the emperors, Jimmy says, “Guys, just let me get up on their level.”

“Get up on their level, yeah,” Joel repeats in a mutter around barely suppressed laughter, placing a block of quartz between Jimmy and Grian. Jimmy hops up on it with the solemnity of someone in a far less ridiculous position.

“There we go, okay.” Grian shrugs and nods, crouching slightly to be eye-level with Jimmy.

“You, my friends, are not going anywhere,” Jimmy declares in a low tone. “Stayin’ right here. Havin’ fun with us. Look at us fun people!”

The hermits’ protests overlap in a symphony of tumult. Jimmy turns to Scar, and though Gem can’t see his face, she can imagine the pleading on it as he says, “Right, Scar? You think we’re fun?”

“Right, yeah, I’ve had an enjoyable time!” Scar says with a tilt of his chin. “But I’m ready to go home now.” Grian snorts and Jimmy sputters something unintelligible, and Gem tunes out the conversation with a hum as the argument continues.

Something shiny catches the corner of Gem’s eye. Glancing down, she spots Bdubs’ gleaming glowstone cloak, its owner quietly scaffolding up the side of the cliff the fort sits upon. Scanning the crowd on the bridge, it seems only Pearl has noticed Bdubs, and when Pearl’s eyes lift to meet Gem’s, Gem gives her a wink.

When Bdubs is close enough that Gem can make out the individual fragments of glowstone on his cloak, Grian shouts, “Break in Bdubs, break in!”

Leaping over the space between his scaffold tower and the wall, Bdubs charges into the fort, the rest of the hermits quick to pour in through the gates. Mayhem erupts once more; someone clangs the bell hanging outside of the gate in repeated, rapid succession. With ringing ears and amused curiosity, Gem watches as the fight unfolds.

“We’re a team! I’m a part of your church!” Oli persuades Bdubs, even as he chases after him with a sword. Bdubs runs into Joel, and Oli is able to get a hit on him, Bdubs’ inventory exploding onto the floor as Oli gasps, then cheers, “I killed a god! I killed a god!”

Someone manages to carve a person-sized gap through the back wall, the shimmering purple of the rift spilling out from within. A pitfall activates in front of it, and both several hermits and emperors fall in, but it acts merely as a deterrent, and it isn’t long until all but a couple hermits are through.

The chaos settles like dust in a windstorm, which is to say, not at all.

A TNT rocket is fired at Grumbot and fails to go off, and Pix flies up to manually light it, all while Grian fruitlessly tries to stop the whole endeavor, before Scar drags him through the rift. As it turns out, destroying Grumbot doesn’t close the portal, and the emperors promptly decide to jump in, whoops of anticipation following them through and disappearing as they do.

When it’s finally, finally quiet, Gem chuckles to herself. The server is empty, save for Joey, who’s run off to probably blow something up (and possibly False. Gem can’t quite tell what’s up with False, whether her fellow hermit is roleplaying like her or if there’s two of them entirely.) Taking flight, Gem sets off for Dawn.

The moon has just started its ascent when Gem reaches her kingdom. Touching down, Gem goes straight for her sunset-roofed house, stripping off her armor and crown before settling into bed.

“Chaos and happiness, chaos and happiness,” she murmurs to herself as her eyes drift shut, sinking into a player’s dream of chaos, happiness, and mega builds. Stars twinkle against the void behind Gem’s eyelids. Reaching out, she touches the light she knows will bring her home.

When she wakes, Gem’s vision is filled by the prismarine ceiling of her Hermitcraft storage room. Kicking back the covers and giving a quick stretch, Gem swaps her princess dress for her elven attire, straps on an elytra, and soars into the new day to find her friends.

[shubblelive]

— STOREROOM

— summary : you've been faceless for years, but when mr beast reaches out to you, you can't resist the opportunity to surprise karl.

— genre : fluff!!

— warnings : none!!!

— pairing : cc!karl jacobs x fem!faceless!cc reader

— featuring : cc!karl jacobs, mr beast (+crew), cc!quackity (mentioned)

— pronouns : she/her

— request : what abt a karl x fem!reader where he has a crush on them but she is a faceless streamer and mr beast like asks them to face reveal for a competetion (the reader has been thinking abt face revealing so its not boundary crossing yk) and like its a surprise for karl?? like he wasnt told that she was coming and he is like a lost puppy following her around the whole video??? AND THE READER LIKES RHEM BACK GOOD VIBES ONLY anyways slay ilysm

— word count : 0.7k

— note : my best boy karl <33 he would be so giggly and cute

he was trending on twitter. it wasn't uncommon, he was a creator after all. but now he was trending in association with you.

"fans of karl jacobs left excited after his "adorable" reaction to the prospect of meeting up with longtime friend for the first time ever."

"why is 'adorable' in quotation marks?" he turned his phone screen around so jimmy could see. jimmy just laughed and shrugged.

you and karl had streamed together last night, and you'd entertained the prospect of a face reveal. you'd become a creator rather young, never expecting it to truly take off. but now as an adult with a flourishing career, you felt ready to show your face.

karl had been elated that he was the first person you wanted to meet in person. you and him had been friends for years, and you telling him that he was your best friend turned him into a giggly blushing mess.

but, that was for him to think about later, because right now he had a video to shoot. this one wasn't an endurance challenge, so he didn't think he'd be here for more than maybe four hours. but that was four hours he could spend talking to you.

"hey, karl?" jimmy called him over about an hour. "can you grab another cable from the storeroom?" karl nodded and pocketed his phone, jogging over to storeroom one. "oh, wait. not that one. we have a guest in there."

"oooh, who is it?" he asked. usually, whenever they had guests it was either viewers that karl would meet when they got to the warehouse, or another creator that he would also meet when they got to the warehouse.

"i can't tell you," jimmy said simply. "it's a surprise."

karl frowned, but just put it off. "why are they in the storeroom,"

"we took out the shelves and put up some decor and stuff," jimmy said. "figured we would do more surprise reveals after this one and we need somewhere for them to stay."

to karl's dismay, he soon found out that everyone knew who was in the room except for him. over the next few hours, they filmed the challenge portion of the video, and then took a break before the end segment.

karl had won, and he had a lot of fun. it seemed like everyone else had given up fairly easily, but he assumed that everyone had off days.

he pulled out his phone and texted you: "hi bub sorry, been filming all day. you're probably asleep right now so call me when you wake up <33"

you and karl had been friends for years, but for the past year or so it had been different. you weren't dating, it was a weird sort of in between thing.

you knew he liked you, he knew you liked him. but you'd both silently agreed to wait until you met up irl before anything was going to happen.

once they were all gathered together jimmy spoke to the camera for a second before turning to karl. "alright, now. since karl was the winner, he gets our mystery prize. it's right in there," he gestured to the storeroom that had been done up.

"ooh, is it taylor swift?" he giggled as he opened the door. he expected it would be maybe his family, or another creator he hadn't got to meet.

"you've been hanging out with alex too much," was the first thing you said before karl was pulling you into his arms.

"you're here. oh my god," he recognised you based off of your voice, and he couldn't believe you were physically in front of him. "you're so pretty, gosh,"

"hi honey," you squeezed him as hard as you could.

"it's weird," he mumbled. "i missed you. but, i talked to you all the time. it doesn't make sense,"

"don't worry, karl. none of us saw her, she came in early." chris said. "we were all in on it,"

"can't even be mad," karl still hadn't let go of you, burying his face in your neck. "not when you're here,"

he had to pull away from you (still keeping your hand firmly in his), to finish the video. but the second everyone had gone he was putting his hands on either side of your jaw. "you're here, with me," he needed to keep repeating it so you didn't suddenly disappear.

"karl, honey?" he hummed in response. "i missed you too."

[crxssjae]

Proudest Man in the World

Summary:

Kind-hearted. A champion. The lover of Jey Uso. His life transformed in the best moments, to be proud.

a/n: This is post-WrestleMania 40. Took place after Jey won against Jimmy (imagine they have the best brother vs brother match ever) and Sami won the Intercontinental Championship title against Gunther. If y'all see any errors, 🤫, I make mistakes too.

Also posted on AO3 (here) and Wattpad (here). These belong to my samijey/jeysami short and long stories collection called "All Night."

Other WWE fics and samijey/jeysami fics are posted on my WWE masterlist here.

Word Count: 1,333

Warning(s): 18+ only (minors DNI), NSFW, smut content, explicit language

__________

The night thickened and intoxicating air arose inside the dim hotel room, along with the sounds of Sami's hushed breathing.

Faint, half-lidded glint with crave, gazed into Jey's eyes, full attention. Legs encircled Jey's waist tight while their bodies pressed together under the blankets. Rush of hotness crawled in, blocking the remains of the cold.

A thousand times until now; Sami is cherished over a win he will never forget.

Intercontinental Championship.

The belt draped over the chair; moonshine illuminated its sparkle like a recognized, rare, rich in gold. If any man hadn't made the task known back in the day, its name would have crumbled. Much gratitude to the former longest reigning champion, Gunther, everyone has seen the title as important written before each vision.

WrestleMania in Philadelphia. Roars and screams of supportive cheers rediscover Sami's mind from ear to ear. Some clouded uncertainty hit Sami like a freight train at first, questioning if he could win the championship. Time went on, receiving encouragement from coworkers— hell— even Gunther himself last week, gave Sami his all through body and soul. He did it.

Jey came into the picture. He never forgets him. Neither his words.

"I gotchu."

"I've got yo' back. Don't be an ass, 'kay?"

"Love you, baby."

His lips curled in a satisfied smile. Peace is what Sami received. He was supposed to satisfy Jey since he won against Jimmy, given a standing ovation. Though instead, Jey mirrored the same emotion both had.

"Whatchu smilin' for?" Jey's voice teased yet cheerful in wonder.

Sami hummed, his arms wrapped around Jey's neck. "Don't know. I guess it's you, always spoiled me till the end."

"S'my job. Y'can't get rid of me dat easily." Jey nuzzled his nose against Sami's beard, eliciting a giggle from Sami. "If someone's datin’ me this long, I can't be gone forever."

"You've told me a thousand times to make me happy."

"Good. And I'll keep sayin' it all day."

Sami hadn't grinned this long. This is good for his sake. Jey's words affected his heart, stronger in support of a boyfriend from the known family bloodline, being fallen in love.

Their gaze locked. An inch of Jey's dick covered in a condom twitched inside Sami's heat, slicked entrance. Fulfilled, melted, lust. Sami's fingers threaded Jey's hair; Jey began strokes of lazy, careful thrusts.

Sami shuddered, nails digging into Jey's tatted back urged himself to be still. He knew he couldn't, he didn't give a damn. Anything Jey does craving more, giving any touch of feeling, swelled to each reaction.

The difference between home and hotel rooms was some short intimate moments; being interrupted by a friend, someone calling their phone, having a quickie before going on a morning routine, or leaving to arrive on the travel schedule. Inside an expensive hotel building in Philadelphia, however, silence stood outside.

No friends or family to check on them. No one knocked. They're alone.

"M'so fuckin' proud of you." Jey buried his face into the crook of Sami's neck, breath tingled his skin, hips bucking. "You— oh fuck— you deserve every inch of this, of me. M'proud y'won all dat effort."

"Mmm, I'm proud of you, too. You deserve—" Sami let out a gasp— "you deserve so much praise a-after you and Jimmy did out there. So perfect, so good, so good, so good—"

Slow trails of kisses showered on Sami's neck. Jey smiled to himself, at the praise he had given to Sami while caring. "Shh, focus on you, not me."

Being penetrated shook Sami's core; his mind became foggy, devoured with sweet hunger. His eyes were heavy, nothing to do but stare at the ceiling. Jey's warmth is too good, too good for Sami to claw his fingers with fresh scratches on the back, erupted a low growl from Jey. Sami admitted he'd apologize for doing so, but Jey didn't mind.

Focus on himself, not him. Sami almost let emotions get the best a few seconds ago. He would hate himself if he broke a sob during sex, it'll be a concern. One time, the emotional part of him poured out in front of Jey before being embraced and comforted. Sami would tell his boyfriend about it later, too.

Loud, passionate wails escaped Sami's mouth; Jey's hips bucked in an instant yet deeper as the bed rocked and squeaked. Sami pecked Jey's shoulder, to the neck, to the jawline of the beard. Husky whispers from Jey reaching ear to ear, sending a shiver down Sami's spine.

He loved this.

Jey lifted his head, glimpsing into Sami's glinted eyes full of allure. "Look at you, goddamn amazin' as hell wit' dat face, baby." He showered quick smooches on his forehead. "Y'deserve everythin'."

"Keep going, Jey, please keep going..." Sami whispered in a needy tone. He does his best to keep eye contact.

Jey gripped Sami's hips and snapped his pace, quickening. Slid in, then out, focused on not breaking the condom. Sami felt Jey's lips graze his ear, hearing the same tone of whisper once more while eyelids fluttered close. A tingle of sensation ignited Sami's stomach; it peaked closer.

"I'm… I'm about to— fuck, fuck, fuck, please, please, Jey—!"

Sami's mouth hung open, letting out a breathless sound; shockwaves rippled through his body as cum ejaculated on the belly and chest. Since Jey wore a condom, sparing the spill, his pulse still lingered inside. Good thing it's a reminder a couple of times protection is needed.

Slumped, boneless, full of bliss, sweat glistening. Both men are relieved. Sami peeked, narrowed his eyes at Jey's hand splayed on his chest while the other steadied the dick to pull out. He observed Jey, unwrapping the filled condom, and tying it before tossing it in the trash can.

"You should've gone to the party without me," Sami murmured after a few seconds of creeping silence between them. Fingers hovered and traced random patterns over Jey's tatted arm, then chest. "You deserve your celebration with them and Jimmy without me."

"N'let you be empty-handed in this room without a present?" Jey questioned with a mock perplexed look. "Naw, I gotta make you, a champ, happy wit' a big ass smile. Dat's our celebration."

All those hours from earlier, a party inside the bar miles away from them was held after Cody won against Roman for the Undisputed Championship. There's a choice for Jey whether or not he's going alongside Jimmy, Kevin, and others— let themselves receive joy with drinks and dances. He ditched at the last minute— for Sami, because he can't let someone be alone with a small amount of gifts, never had a chance to give a deserving one.

Jey is supposed to drink with friends, be joking, dance along, and be rewarded for all the effort he put into the brother versus brother match. However, he didn't bother. He cared about Sami the most; the others understood.

Sami sat up, scooting closer. "Does… does Kev know? Jimmy? Roman?" he asked.

Jey nodded. "They did. They just gave me the look and let me go ahead. But Ludwig wants me to tell you dat yo' Brainbuster," he cleared his throat, rolling his eyes, "is exquisite."

"Sounds like him." Sami chuckled, and pecked Jey's lips, whispering, "Guess I need to pull more tricks up my sleeves and surprise you."

"Like pullin' 'em tricks at the shower?"

"Oh god, no!"

Both couldn't help erupting their laughter ringing across the room, soft kissing and embracing in each other's arms. Everything became soundless again before Jey led Sami to the bathroom, being playful along the way. Two days in a row had been the best, even though the chilliness bothered them sometimes, for their respective WrestleMania matches to be successful. Would be best to be warm rather than complain.

Sami's chances were a fluke before the big stage. Now gripping the known championship in one hand, those chances are greater, transforming and changing the man he is—

A champion with a proud heart.

__________

Thank you for reading!

Tagging: @southerngirl41, @coolpandasblog, *@bbkquartz, @rosiel77, *@katiewayne2020, @afterdarkprincess, *@invictusrey, @wrestlingprincess80, @harmshake, @empressdede

If your username is in bold with an asterisk, it means Tumblr won't let me tag you.

Taglist for samijey/jeysami shippers those who wanted to be tagged for my future fics of samijey-> here

[frida--y]

blessed by the shugods!!

god I love kingoh, such an ambitious sentai... I think it really won me over in the end though!! The way it started with Jeramie's narration and the way it ended with it <3 I will say I loved the first half so much, the interpersonal royal drama of all- loved it. I also loved how it started to seed the story of redemption for the Bugnark with the introduction of Jeramie. I think it''s important to write a story of oppression and relationships. I do think it was overly ambitious in the end!! The bugs just got SO sidelined after the introduction of Duggy. But still, we got such a happy ending of not really homogenizing into one country, but to allow cultures to expand, to interact and grow from those interactions. Maybe love will bloom from it!!! I hope Jeramie tries to attend every wedding.. he would cry so much.

SO hard to say more from the story, it's such a packed one! Some things happen with such weight and then "it's actually fine no worries :)" next episode. I would of loved to see all the plot points fully expanded in a manga or a multi-season series.

THE CAST!!! THE RETAINERS!!!!!

You can really feel Taka's love for this series, he's really the show's biggest fan. Everyone feels fleshed out enough, and it's hard to pick a fav (it's jimmy). MAAN. What a show.. great passionate show tbh.

GOD is Kagu the best... BEAUTIFUL MAN. I loved all his focus episodes. It was also fun guessing how much he was playing Racles or helping him, and now knowing that he's been believing in Racles since the wedding just makes me want to rewatch.

Who else is the best.. Jeramie.. I LOVED it when he stopped talking between the lines and blurted out what he feels. It's so cute.

Even Himeno! I love how passionate she was on the kingoh legends, it's a difference from Yanma who vaules tech more and learns to have faith in the legends. Yanma's so full of charm, really love him too. Rita is the best, what else can I say..

Impossible to pick a hard fav from the main kings.. easy tie with Rita and Kagu though for the top.... and Jeramie. They each have their strengths and I'm glad we got to see the odd dynamics near the end too.

For Gira, I really liked him ever since the first episode. His acting was great! Although I loved the doomed and fated sibling relationship, I think the show should of showed us more of Gra's thoughts when he thought he killed Racles. It's not really implied he knew he didn't die (unlike according to bts), I think Gira should of been more fucked up he killed his only family... Yano did a good job displaying on his face how their first duel really messed him up.

Number one cunt in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seeing through Racles lies/act was so satisfying, all the way back to his first fight with Gira, I knew something was up with him. I loved his seemingly emotionless behavior in the first half, when he had the all the chances to kill his brother and didn't take it, episode 20 was fantastic in this regard, and we got SUCH a treat with 42 telling us all of the truth. especially knowing all the context. And maaaaaaan, I knew his reaction to "killing" Yanma was special.. god if anything Kingoh gave us an amazing character arc with Racles. He had great dynamics with the other kings (Yanma n Jeramie in the second half), BUT I kinda wanted him to have more scenes with Rita though, considering he basically wrecked their country by trying to reveal the traitor. Him trusting Suzume with his life and wanting to reach out to Kagu <33333 one of my fav dynamics <33 tormented by the bees <;3 GOD kagrac was SOO real...

I love how his actions were never excused, both by the character and everyone. Just getting my thoughts about him during his worst validated was satisfying. His interactions with Jeramie and Yanma post reveal were my favorites.

Just.. being right about how power hungry he really was (not as an act).... Racles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I usually don't get swayed by shipping art but.. Suzume and Racles fanart really sold me on them.. the show really helped too, but.. I think they're so cute lol. Re-falling in love after being married is so.. IT'S SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I had ONE major complaint... other than the Bugnark's plight getting sidelined HARD in the second half, I think Suzume's character really fell to the wayside. I liked the Morphina and Suzume episode, but it really highlighted Kagu more than Suzume. It really should of been more about her feelings on ruling Tuofu than her dream of marrying someone she loved, cause why would that stop her from ruling???

ride or die couple of the year <3 they should of ended ON TOUFU WHERE RACCY WAS ON A FARM!!!!!!!!!!

kingoh :)

man. what a show!! Going to miss it a lot... crazy good highs in my opinion. The world is just rich enough to play around with it in your head, which makes it fun!!

bonus: my many pics of Yano

I can post many more..I will restrain.. one of the most gorgeous men I've seen <3 his long hair when he got married though............................... many thoughts. They should of let him keep his facial hair. I have been seeking out his other works so far and I really do hope the film Wheel and Axle gets a release... it showed at a film festival so I assume it must have a subtitle track done.

love him so much I made him a birb friend n dressed up my plush!!

[riacte]

is it too soon to start the "martyn will be in hermitcraft season 11" bullshit? i m just saying, atp lots of people seem to consider both him and jimmy to be honorary hermits, and they would be a great fit imo... martyn actually mentioned during the charity stream this weekend that he doesnt really expect to join, but that he was surprised that jimmy didn t in season 10 along with skizz and joel (btw jimmy and martyn s friendship is incredibly cute and should be talked about more yes grian and jimmy s dynamic is incredibly fun and deserves all of the popularity it has but there s just soo many hours of streams of just jimmy and martyn being dumb together and making each other laugh i just don t get why it is such an underrated duo thank you for coming to my ted talk)

Anon lmao I always thought Jimmy+Martyn were like a very solid and liked duo because they teamed up in MCC a lot and you know how I feel about the MCC duos [stares off into 2020-21]. My theory is that if a duo spends enough time (like using the unit of years) together and hanging out and doing stuff it becomes so natural that the audience reaction is just like. oh yeah they're besties. doing stuff together. yeah we all know. what else is new. and people get distracted by the Shiny New Duo (who have known each other for less time so we get to see their bond develop which is fun). But this also doesn't make sense because Grian and Jimmy have also known each other for years lmao. What it is with people and duo blind spots [stares off into 2023-24 HC Reddit]

Anyways re: HC I feel like there's a difference between close friends of the hermits who help out with events and actually playing on the server and becoming involved in the entire logistics and process? The episodic content you make has to mesh well with the server, also the workload and production etc etc. Like ofc HC is a server of friends but I also think it's a specific job and identity and you are expected to fit in with their customs. (Eg. Grian used to be known as a creative builder and posted videos focused on that but he's mostly moved on to post HC.) It is very much a serious and long term commitment then, let's say, Life series. And I think it's fine for people to remain at the periphery and sometimes get invited to events and it's all good fun.

I still Martyn is the perfect fit for hosting hermit related events, he's friendly, charismatic and quick witted, good at improv, knows how to get the atmosphere going, etc.

[minecraftbookshelf]

ok so I know you’re writing and probably already thought of this but I’m case you didn’t: the differences in elven courting rituals and oceanic courting rituals, specifically when it comes to wedding gifts. if you have thought about this feel free to ignore but the way I see it

elves live a while,and probably know about the arranged marriages a decent amount of time before they happen, so in between wedding planning and normal life each half of the marriage is planning some extravagant amazing wedding gift like gardens of gold or giant tapestries and stuff like that

meanwhile ocean/swamp folk who don’t live as long probably have more personal gifts, even in arraigned marriages bc they’re still getting to know each other! but either way the gifts are more personal and specifically tailored to the other half

so keeping track we have Scott, panicking bc he has like zero time to plan a wedding and learn a language and make a wedding gift and so the necessary things for life in however little time he has, Jimmy, panicking bc he doesn’t know anything about scott, no one he knows knows anything about scott, and even when they finally meet scott isn’t exactly an open book! so Jimmy is trying to do the same things as scott (tjough his doesn’t need to be as extravagant) in addition to finding out who the hell he’s getting married to and also ruling a kingdom

AND (you thought I was done NO the adhdemons love this concept and filled the no-box fan void with fictional politics) you have Lizzie, Joel, Xornoth, and Iona, who also had to get gifts for each other

first I need you to know that I saw your url and had the immediate gut reaction of "oh same hat!" XD

Anywho

So courting traditions in general:

I don't have too much set in stone currently, lots of ideas and concepts though, because I'm half shaping the story around it and half shaping it around the story, because writing be like that (rip) but I do have a few things.

Rivendell is basically just Tolkein's elves partly isekai-ed into minecraft, lets be real. So I've yoinked the tradition from there of the bride-to-be's family gifting a jewel (usually of magical or historical or familial importance) to the groom-to-be as a sort of pre-dowry. Only because heteronormativity does not exist here it is usually a mutual exchange of gifts. Tapestries and other labor and skill intensive textile arts also play a role because of the importance of textiles in Rivendell culture (see the ask that I'm answering after this one for more details on that) And there is also just a general idea of "a demonstration of what you are bringing to the table" for the actual wedding exchange. Like the most intense and stressful art show where both your entire extended family and also your significant other/others's extended family will be judging it. (Exact form of art varies depending on the skills and interests of the elf in question; culinary, poetry, musical, metal working...the list goes on)

The Swamp has fewer actual universal traditions. Due to their recent (past few centuries) history they are basically two nations that mixed and mingled and also include a few different diasporas interspersed within them. Jimmy himself tends towards more Oceanic traditions, which include things like feats of bravery and provision. This will go both exactly as well as you think it will and genuinely very well. (Oceanic traditions tend towards dramatic and grand gestures and statements. Ability to protect and provide is a huge thing both in the Ocean and the Swamp.)

Also Jimmy absolutely panics and ends up asking a good dozen random citizens for advice.

You also have the added layer of this specific instance being an arranged marriage (which isn't especially unusual) between two empires (which is wildly unusual at their social level) That custom is, in fact, purely an Oceanic one. (Which is why Joel and Lizzie were the previous example)

Most/all of the other Empires don't tend to intermarry their royals because enough Empires don't use familial succession models that it renders it fairly unstable as an alliance technique. There's more context for the Oceanic take on it but that is a whole nother post/will be in the fics explicitly.

The point of all this is that both parties are kind of stressed and trying to figure out how to compromise/accommodate while not really having a fully applicable framework for this situation (on Rivendell's part.)

Rivendell barely has interacted with the other empires for generations let alone married them.

Xornoth and Iona actually had it fairly easy, outside figuring out how to navigate the religious minefield that is Xornoth's entire existence. It was a very matter of fact, business like courtship that Scott and Iona ran with all the stringent focus of a military operation (which it basically was) and not even Xornoth's tendency towards chaos could really do much in the face of that.

In the context of like, personal gifts Joel and Lizzie actually got off really easy because by the time they got married-married they'd technically been married for several years already.

[canduscata]

My thoughts on episode 3, here we go...

This is by far my favourite Susie Eddie episode. There’s so much happening on the screen and underneath it.

Firstly we have Eddie at the gym asking for her and Jack (who ships them) I’ve been here long enough to know if the other characters ship the ship it’s going to happen at some point hahaha. The business or pleasure innuendo, he knows something is going on… perhaps it’s the first time Susie lets someone be part of the business and her LIFE too. He sees they spend a lot of time together… 

When he enters her office, he looks at some pics and you can feel they are comfortable around each other, there’s no need to be polite or formal… He’s definitely in his element as much as she is. When she asks about stealing the car I love how the roles switch you can see it in the way the interaction happens, he has the upper hand because she needs a favor that’s why he can set his conditions, he is relaxed and she’s apprehensive?? They are very close like there’s a kind of intimacy that feels beyond business partners?? And when they leave the gym and Jack is like why does dad think he is good asset? And she takes the time to look at him, analyzing him but also gives him a kind of god he’s handsome look?? and then gives the existential crisis reason… 

Again POWER COUPLE walk when they go and interrogate Jimmy. (very similar to the salon in episode 1 walk). I love how Eddie is behind, supporting her, and you can know when she’s addressing him during the whole interrogation because is always about decision making (she asks how they’ll find Gabrielle, moving her head to where Eddie is). When she gives an order is to Blanket and Keith. MARRIED alert!!!

Here comes the first scene, you can see there’s some banter/ UST/ attraction between them.  She knows he loves a good challenge and how to push his buttons because she is like are you getting cold feet? He is anything but a coward… She’s 100% flirty with him the outfit makes her feel powerful and you can tell!! They smirk at each other!!! GOD!! I was like can you kiss already!! Hot hot hot!!

After stealing the car he has this adrenaline rush he loves! He’s enjoying the whole experience and I think she knew this would happen… that’s why she pushed him… 

Next my favourite scene of these two!! He's covered in blood and she offers a wet wipe… While he talks she decides to help him get clean!! Something I assume she doesn't do with anyone!! She is removing the blood from his face!! If that’s not true love what is, right?? It's business talk as usual but he looks like he likes being taken care by her...? Even though he raises his voice a little bit… she continues to clean his face!!! like an argument of a married couple!! She looks at his lips? While cleaning him? HOT!! HOT!! And he ALLOWS her to do it!! Extremely intimate for just business partners… I can’t with these two!! It truly drives me crazy because she's a boss to everyone, trust me she won't clean anybody but she's doing it with HIM and he won't allow anybody to do that (he can do it on his own, they aren’t friends) but he just lets HER. Aagrrrr!!!

Then you see they are in different cars and she tries to bring him peace of mind and be prepared. She reassures him it's going to be alright!! Because she knows family/ his brother is important to him… again because it’s what’s important to her, ‘cause they are alike!! Just be together pleaaaseeee!!! 

When they meet Mercy!! Power couple again! He is and feels in charge. When Freddy is being threatened she looks at him, to gauge his reaction and when the machete scene happens she’s business as usual while Eddie is kind of disgusted but not very much hahahaha he toughened up.

I just love how Jimmy explains he's going to smoke in the evenings to BOTH OF THEM!! Like mom and dad need to know! Hahaha 

Comment aside… the last scene with Freddy when he says you did well, very The Godfather!!  

[lilacsandlillies]

Stephanie Brown Rambling Incoming

Stephanie’s relationship with Gotham and the rest of the bats, especially Jason and Dick, is such an overlooked thing because.

Stephanie, Jason, and Dick are all more or less the same character in three different fonts. All three have very similar character arcs, more similar than the other robins, and similar personalities with the main differences coming from either metatextual reasons like the time their being written and specific writers preferences for them, and the situation that their in.

People talk about Jason and Stephanie’s similarities all the time but it goes a lot deeper than just the surface level of them both having died and the similar stories of their parents. Stephanie is one of the only Bats that are relatively cool with murder. She’s attempted it before. And unlike other characters who have internalized the whole “we don’t kill thing” Steph seems to only follow that rule in order to make Cass, Bruce, and Tim happy.

Stephanie, much like Jason, understands the position of the victim in a way that many of the other Bats seem unable to. In fact, some of them, like Bruce and Cass, are much more likely to identify with the Criminal than the victim.

This gives Steph a unique perspective on crime and Gotham that she only really shares with Jason.

On the other hand, Steph goes through a pretty similar character arc as Dick, starting off as a relatively cynical and angry child and growing into a more optimistic person through vigilantism. It’s important to note that Steph and Dick, more than any of the other robins or even bats as a whole, were destined to be vigilantes. They chose to be vigilantes without outside encouragement from Batman or prior training. I hate to reference the Robins comic but in that comic when their put into the “idealistic” lives that Bruce thinks they would’ve had without him, steph and Dick are the only ones still in “the life.” Damian, Tim, and Jason have nothing to do with vigilantism in Bruce’s ideal reality, but even here Bruce can’t even delude himself into thinking there’s any world where Steph and Dick atenta fighting for justice.

The main difference between Dick and Steph has less to do with them as people and more to do with where they are as characters, with Stephanie being much younger with much less history, and the other characters reactions to them. A big reason Dick is where he is as a person is because of Bruce and the Titans belief and trust in him. That’s not something Steph has ever had. Bruce barley tolerates her presence during her Robin run, and the Titans actively reject her while she’s Robin.

This leads to a bigger trend with Steph that shows a major difference in the way the Steph is treated out of universe in comparison to the other robins and batgirls.

In DC comics, characters can usually be sorted into two types of characters. There are the more active characters that exist in both their own mythos, and in larger comic crossover teams and events. Nightwing is allowed to exist in both the Batman mythos and in Titans comics. Black Canary is allowed to exist in Green arrow comics, birds of prey comics, and Justice league comics. These characters are also allowed regular cameos in comics that have nothing to do with them.

On the other hand, more self contained characters like Leslie Tompkins or Jimmy Olsen are only allowed to exist within the context of the mythos they where created for. You’d be hard pressed to find Dr. Tompkins in something unrelated to Batman. These characters are allowed to be characters, but only in the context of the environment.

Most of the Robins are allowed and expected to be one of the active characters. Their leaders and basically and extension of Batman. DC loves Batman, so they wants characters that are basically extensions of him anywhere they can.

That’s why it’s so strange that Stephanie is treated more like a self contained characters only allowed to exist in Batman and related comics than most other Batman characters.

She’s never led a team, unlike the other Robins. She’s never had a consistent non-bat non-gothamite friend. She’s barley even allowed cameos.

Even Duke, who’s a much newer character, has already been allowed to exist on a team and interact with non-bat characters like Black Lightning and Katana.

Every single one of Stephanie’s important relationships, except her relationship with her mother, is with a bat. What makes this extra sad is that with the exception of Cass, Tim, and Damian, she’s not very important to them.

Dick and Steph should theoretically have much more relationship than they do. Dick and Damian are very important people to each other because of their time together as Batman and Robin. Yet Stephanie isn’t awarded the same type of relationship with Dick despite the fact that she was batgirl while he was Batman.

They’ve worked together before, and the two of them are both very important in Damian’s development. But these things are not reflected in their relationship with each other.

Stephanie tends to be discarded and forgotten both as a batgirl and as a Robin, which is tragic considering what a compelling and unique character she is.

Robins have been defined by their relationship with Batman and how he perceives them for a long time.

Dick is famously the perfect version of Bruce, the man Bruce wishes he could be. He’s hope and light and good. Jason is the exact opposite, the worst possible outcome in Bruce’s eyes. He’s the antithesis of Bruce’s ideals and he’s good at it. Tim is Bruce cynicism and practically. Damian is still growing, but in my mind he’s Bruce’s skill and empathy. Duke is an embodiment of the people, of Gotham itself.

I think that Stephanie is a kind of mix between Duke and Jason. She’s an embodiment of the people, yes, but more specifically the people Batman has failed. The kids of criminals, the people who were forced into a life of crime.

She’s a revelation of Batman’s hypocrisy and failures. Had Batman caught her dad earlier, had the justice system not failed her, her life would’ve been much better. She wouldn’t have been a vigilante.

She’s an embodiment of vigilante justice in a way that none of the other Bats really are. She didn’t come into this trained by the best and with super advanced tech. She didn’t have Batman to save her from every mistake. Stephanie is what happens when the average citizen gets a little fed up and decides to take matters into their own hands.

That’s part of why Bruce resents her so much. Bruce inherently comes from a privileged place that makes him unable to understand Stephanie and the people she represents. He doesn’t understand how a parent could be such a danger to their kid that the kid would rather the parent dead. He doesn’t understand why a girl with living parents and a house could want to become a vigilante. He has a fundamental disconnect from Steph and her world.

And just to preface this, I’m talking specifically about modern Batman and how Batman is portrayed during Stephanie’s Robin run. There are many versions of Batman whom most of this doesn’t apply to.

I really don’t know where this was going, I just had a lot of thoughts.

[m0ther-of-p3arl]

not nearly enough

(robert aeor high au p10)

masterpost

ITS BEEN TOO LONG- ok ok ok yEEEEeeEeEe im excited to post this one :000 ITS PART 10 GUYS OMG WE HIT THE DOUBLE DIGITS also 40,000 words in total in the entirety of the fic so YEYY

Before Jim came to town, Scott was… well, not fine, exactly- but he was laying low, he was safe, in a sense. He was biding his time until he could leave, until he could get out of the hellhole of a town he still lives in. He had a plan, and Jimmy interrupted that in the worst- oh, who is he kidding- best way possible.

or, its been SIX MONTHS time skip jumpscare HAHHAHAHAHA

TW: anxiety, depression, self-hatred, MAGICAL FLASHBACKS, references to past abuse, etc etc the usual

(5141 words)

And so the months pass, months of sleeping uncomfortably in Jimmy’s bed, months of trying to stay calm when he has flashbacks in the middle of the night, months of staying inside as much as he can for fear that he’ll see Father at the park or the grocery store or anywhere, really. John and Laura bought him a new phone, so at least he can still communicate with the people he relies on.

The others, Joel and Shelby and Owen, were irate when they heard that Scott was now living with Jimmy and Beks, or more so, the reason why: Scott can still remember Shubble shrieking “WHAT?!” when he told her the news, so loud he’d actually heard ringing in his ears- after the initial shock, she kept ranting for about twenty minutes straight about abusive parents and neglectfulness and yada yada yada, stuff Scott’s heard a million times before.

Owen, to contrast, stayed very quiet, the anger simmering right below his voice, just enough so that Scott could hear the hints of it, the bits of raw emotion his best friend couldn’t quite keep hidden. Joel had literally stormed over to Jimmy’s house and started yelling at everyone and everything, including Scott, Beky and her parents, and Jimmy- three different reactions from three different people, all displaying their personalities really well.

But for the most part, it’s been good living with John and Laura; they let him skip school when he needs to, John is an excellent cook (it’s so nice not having to eat peanut butter jelly sandwiches anymore) and Laura makes the second-best tea Scott’s ever drunk (first is Jimmy’s, of course.) His favorite part of his current arrangement, however, is his evening “Jimmy time,” as he’s come to think of it- every evening, he and Jimmy go down to the TV room and watch a movie, play a video game they’re both trash at, or video call Shelby and Joel.

Looking back from where he is now, it’s kind of unclear to Scott where and when Jimmy time started, but he knows it’s been going on since at least a week after he moved in. At first, he’d worried that Jimmy didn’t enjoy spending that much time with him, but the avian’s never complained and so Scott has grown accustomed to this little routine, he’s grown to enjoy the three or four hours they’ll spend together every night.

But on the more negative side of the cucumber, things are not going well with Owen. He’s drifted further and further away from the center of their group, and especially since he lives so close to Scott’s old house, they haven’t had any time to hang out just the two of them. He’s tried to text Owen a bit, but things have grown strained between him, not the easy-going friendship Scott’s so accustomed to, the friendship he relies on. Something’s shifted, and though he can’t put a finger on exactly what, he’s pretty sure it has to do with Jimmy.

Why does absolutely everything in Scott’s life always boil back down to Jimmy?

He’s still running his morning jog on the weekends, though he’s changed his route significantly so it doesn’t go anywhere near his old neighborhood, as just the possibility of seeing his father, or even the mansion, make Scott feel like he’s going to throw up. But other than this little weekly routine, Scott doesn’t spend much time outside at all.

His days are now spent in solitude, watching YouTube on his phone in Jimmy’s room or simply laying on the bed, getting lost in his anxiety and self-hatred. Often, Jimmy, Shelby, or Joel will try to invite him on an outing, but he declines every time, brushing away their worried glances and hushed comments. Most of the time, Scott is alone. And he has to admit, he kind of likes it that way.

If he’s alone, he doesn’t have to focus on the stresses of small-talk and human interaction, he doesn’t have to pretend to smile behind a curtain of self-doubt, he doesn’t have to act like he’s getting better, the way everyone expects him to. Because he’s not getting better. It’s been six months, six months, since he moved in with Jimmy- he’s almost eighteen, and Jimmy’s finally seventeen, another half of a year has gone by but nothing’s changed; he just can’t shake the beast that roils within him, the dark, biting cloud that gnaws at him from the inside out.

Jimmy’s great and all, Scott really appreciates all he’s done for him, but the simple fact of the matter is that Scott’s basically in love with the avian, and Jimmy decidedly does not reciprocate his feelings, meaning that there’s always some sort of catch when they’re hanging out. Scott can’t let himself go all the way, can’t make the same sort of raucous jokes he can with Owen, there’s always this slight weird formality between them. Not anything noticeable from an outside standpoint, but Scott sees it, and he knows Jimmy does too. It tends to make things… more difficult than necessary

He misses his best friend. Scott misses Owen, more than he’s ever missed anyone in his life. He misses the way they used to laugh at the park, he misses when they would climb trees to get away from Owen’s multitude of little sisters, he misses every fleeting moment he and his best friend have ever shared. And as much as he loves Jimmy, the avian can’t give him back the simple, platonic moments that have made up some of the best parts of his life.

Memories are a strange thing, Scott supposes as he sits alone on the bed, because though you always wish you could go back and change things, you can’t. There is no possibility, there is no feasible way that Scott could ever change the way things have worked out. But sometimes, when he’s sat alone with nothing to do, feeling the safety in boredom, he finds himself wondering what he would change if he could.

Usually, he tells himself he would’ve chosen to choose his words more carefully that fateful night when everything changed forever, he would’ve skirted around the issues and just been a good little boy. Sometimes he thinks that he wouldn’t have kissed Jimmy, sometimes, when he’s feeling really terrible, he tells himself he would’ve just made it so he doesn’t exist.

But at times like this, when he’s alone and sane and completely transparent with himself, he knows that what he would’ve changed is the fact that he even met Jimmy in the first place. And yeah, he knows it sounds weird and ungrateful but it’s true- as much as he loves and cares about the avian, Jimmy’s basically the godfather of all Scott’s struggles.

Before Jim came to town, Scott was… well, not fine, exactly- but he was laying low, he was safe, in a sense. He was biding his time until he could leave, until he could get out of the hellhole of a town he still lives in. He had a plan, and Jimmy interrupted that in the worst- oh, who is he kidding- best way possible.

Everything’s kind of gone downhill since  he met Jimmy, but he’s enjoyed almost every second of the fall, and that, right there, is a problem. Scott’s addicted to the change, he’s addicted to the presence and light the avian brings to his life, but he’s also completely drawn in by the hurt that seems to follow Jimmy like a dark haze, bringing nothing but grief to those he comes to know. 

He wryly recalls, all those months ago, mentioning to Joel how canaries are harbingers of death- but that was never the whole proverb, was it? No. If Scott remembers his mother’s stories well enough, it was “canary call, first to fall.” Mother would always speak of how Scott should never trust a canary; how they were nothing but trouble no matter what, even if it wasn’t intentional. And he supposes she’s been proven right, but also…

He doesn’t know. He just- something about him just can’t let Jimmy go. Something about the avian is just so… easy. Or it was. Before the concussion, before…

He can’t think about that. Every time it crosses his mind, their supposed kiss, Scott’s mouth goes dry and his cheeks flush, he’ll just find himself blushing at random points in the day whenever something reminds him. He wishes… he kind of wishes he could remember it. He wishes he hadn’t forgotten, he wishes Jimmy would like him, he just can't stop wishing- 

Scott just can’t stop thinking about how things could have been, the way they could have gone if only the slightest things had happened differently, but it hasn’t, it hasn’t it hasn’t it hasn’t and Scott’s starting to panic-

The door to the room creaks open, snapping Scott out of his thoughts. Speak of the devil. It’s Jimmy, and as much as Scott hates it, his whole face lights up at the avian’s presence. “Hey,” Jimmy greets, dumping his backpack on the bed. “How’s it going? I brought your homework, by the way.”

Scott tries to smile, tries to pretend he hasn’t just been thinking about all the things he wished were different, tries to pretend his brain hasn’t just been riddled with thoughts of the boy now stood in front of him. “Hey,” Scott replies, mimicking Jimmy’s nonchalant tone, just the sight of the canary stood in front of him as panic-inducing as ever, his heart beating faster than a rabbit’s. “How’d school go?”

“It was alright,” Jimmy mutters, flopping down onto the bed and spreading his limbs every which way, leaving Scott to look down at him, pulling his knees to his chest to make sure he’s not sitting on Jim’s feathers. “ELA was a beast, though- I don’t envy you having to do that homework with no context.”

Scott groans, tilting back his head to look up at the ceiling, bracing himself up with his hands behind him. “Would you help me?”

“Obviously,” Jimmy scoffs, maneuvering into a sitting position, his hand brushing momentarily against Scott’s before he wraps his arms around his knees. The warmth lingers on his frigid skin, as it always does whenever he and Jimmy touch. “But do you wanna go get food first? I’m famished, and knowing you, you’ve probably kept yourself locked up in this little room all day.” It’s true; Scott doesn’t think he’s left the bedroom at all today, except for maybe once or twice to use the bathroom or take a shower.

“Ha, fair enough,” Scott concedes, pushing himself up off the bed and following Jimmy through the door. As they trundle down the stairs, Scott can’t help but recall the first time he came to this house- how Jimmy had stood upon these very stairs, resplendent and practically glowing in his light green dress. Scott remembers how his biggest worry that day had simply been things ending up awkward between him and Jim. Little had he known that later that very same day, he would literally be evicted from his own home.

He tries not to think about the part where he literally kissed the boy he was hoping not to be embarrassing around.

They enter the kitchen, John’s favorite place in the whole house; purple and green and yellow and so many other colors adorn the walls in alternating stripes, the cabinets painted with the complement of the walls around them. Jimmy’s citrusy scent mixes into the cinnamon and cilantro of the kitchen as he pulls open the door to the fridge, pausing as he surveys the contents.

“What do you wanna eat?” Jimmy asks, turning back towards Scott.

“Um, I don’t really know.” Scott can’t remember the last time he’s felt genuinely hungry, but he does know that if he doesn’t eat he will starve regardless of what it feels like. So every night he gulps down a quick meal, and that’s all he’ll eat for a day unless he and Jimmy are having popcorn with a movie. “I’ll have whatever you’re having, I guess.”

The canary nods, used to this response by now, and pulls out a can of chicken tikka masala left over from the last time they’d ordered Indian food. “Shall I pop this in the microwave?”

“That’d actually be great, thank you,” Scott agrees. “I think some CTM might actually hit the spod right now. By the way, where’s Bek?” He hasn’t seen her yet, which is strange- Beks is usually right up in everyone’s face, yelling for attention.

“Oh, didn’t she tell you? She’s gone over to Krow’s for a sleepover.” Jimmy doesn’t look back at him as he mixes the masala with rice, separates it into two bowls, and pops them both into the microwave. 

Scott laughs, propping himself up on the island with his hands. “But doesn’t Bek always come home angry at Krow from those sleepovers because it’ll use its siren song to get her to tell it all her secrets?”

Jimmy lets out a tinkling snicker. “Well, yeah, but El’s going to be there as well, so I’m hoping that she’ll act as some sort of peace-maker. She’s, like, the only one Krow’ll ever listen to. Would you like some tea?”

“Yes, please.”

They stand there in silence for a couple minutes, the air tinged with more awkwardness than Scott cares to admit, especially for someone he’s lived six months with. He can tell almost instinctively that they’re both thinking about the kiss, Jimmy probably replaying the actual memory over in his mind while Scott sees the approximation he’s managed to piece together. He can practically see Jim’s disgusted face, shocked eyebrows and an angry furrow to his forehead- a thick feeling of shame wells in the pits of Scott’s stomach, and it’s not the first time.

Scott’s been thinking about it for months, and yet he still can’t believe that, delirious as he was, he actually kissed Jimmy. The typical version of him could never work up the courage to do that- not in a million, billion, trillion years. Scott could count all the stars in the sky before he would try to kiss Jim.

“So! What do you wanna do tonight?” Jimmy asks, reaching up on his tiptoes to pull the food out of the microwave. 

“Um, I was thinking we could watch a Disney movie? One of the newer ones, maybe Big Hero 6, Soul, or Luca?” Scott suggests, running a hand backwards through his snakes.

“Soul and Luca are Pixar, silly.” Jimmy laughs, and just like every time his high, chirping bird-like snicker escapes his mouth, Scott feels like he’s soaring above the clouds, and he can’t help but remember how much easier it was when he was still in denial about his love for the canary. But then the laughter is cut off abruptly and a look of panic crosses over Jimmy’s face. With shaking hands, he sets the bowls down on the counter, and Scott can tell that if he’d been holding them for a moment longer, they would have been dropped.

Scott’s there in an instant, working his way around the island to Jimmy’s side. He cautiously places a hand on the avian’s shoulder. “You good?” Scott asks, surveying Jimmy’s face with concern.

“Y-yeah, I think I’m-” 

Suddenly Scott’s somewhere else, a playroom full of toys much too young for someone his age, the windows and doors barred from the outside, simple, almost blindingly white walls pressing in imposingly on all sides. There are two people peering through the iron bars at a canary avian sat in the middle of the room, one a salmon Seafolk and the other an axolotl, like Lizzie, Joel’s crush.

“Which one is it?” A biting voice comes from the axolotl, not something Scott would expect from such a typically peaceful species- but his voice is directed unmistakably towards the canary in the middle of the room.

“Oh! Hi, Patty, do you have guests?” The avian speaks before the salmon, presumably Patty, can respond, and as they step eagerly towards the door, Scott catches a glimpse of their face. 

His face is about five years younger, fuller and hair less scruffy, a voice somehow even higher than the one he currently possesses, but Scott knows him.

It’s Jimmy. 

“What can you tell me about Chicago? I’ve heard about Chicago,” the younger version of the boy Scott’s come to love asks, wrapping his hands around the bars of the door and staring with excitement up at the disgusted axolotl, who recoils from the canary, a sneer wrapping around his features.

“Shut up, kid,” Patty hisses, before regaining her composure and turning to the salmon. “Ahem, Mr Barnaby, that is… Jimmy, he’s a canary avian whom I found on my many travels throughout the globe.”

“Why’s it asking so many questions? Aren’t they all supposed to be tame?”

“Oh, haha.” Patty laughs; a small, fake giggle that grinds into Scott’s teeth and sets his skin on edge. “Jimmy’s always been a curious little bird.”

And then Scott’s back, back to the kitchen, reeling from the whiplash he’s just experienced. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s staring right into the same exact avian’s eyes, but 5 years older. For a moment, neither of them speak, thousands of words communicated in simple eye contact. Scott never used to be able to look anyone in the eyes, and for most people, he still can’t- but Jimmy’s a rare exception.

“D-did you-” Jim breaks the silence, looking shaken beyond words, his skin ashen as he tries clearly to hold back his tears.

“I saw it, yeah,” Scott says, taking Jim’s hand in both of his own before he can think about it too much. Selfish, selfish, selfish. “What was that? How did we both see- okay, the how isn’t important right now, we can talk about that later. I just need to know if you’re okay- I remember you told me about a Patty once, but I didn’t think- I never expected-” Scott’s at a loss for words, because whatever he’s just witnessed is so- so despicable- 

She hurt Jimmy. She hurt him and no one’s allowed to hurt Jim, he’s too sweet and kind and he always puts others before himself, he laughs at the stupidest jokes and is undeniably the most genuinely kind person Scott thinks he’s ever met. He begins to feel a rage building in the back of his throat, because who would- what kind of monster- who could ever find it in themselves to hate Jim?

Jimmy’s struggles and the way he’s dealt with them put what Scott’s been through to shame, and he can feel the guilt beginning to gnaw up at him from the insides biting and churning. Here he is, sitting alone and feeling sorry for himself, when Jimmy was held fucking prisoner, a hostage in a cell, by a person he professed to trust, maybe even saw as a mother figure?

“No, it-it’s fine, I left, I got out of there, she doesn’t matter anymore,” Jimmy mutters, wrapping his free arm around himself but not removing his hand from Scott’s grasp. “I’m fine. I just don’t- I just don’t think about it, very much. That bit you saw, when she said-” he takes a deep breath, as if the next thing he’s saying takes a lot of power to conjure up- “when she said, ‘Jimmy’s always been a curious little b-bird,’ she used to say that a lot, and it’s-” his words all come out in a  rush now, and Scott knows the feeling- Jimmy’s just trying to rush all his emotions out before they consume him too much.

“It’s kind of ingrained in my memory,” he continues, looking down at the floor and gripping Scott’s hand so tight he thinks it might fall off. “I don’t know why, but she- her voice- it’s in my head, it won’t g-go away, it’s been a year and a half and now just at the most random intervals I’ll just hear- her- saying that thing and it’s so stupid because I didn’t even have it that bad, it’s not even the worst thing she would say, not by a long shot, b-but it felt- it feels-” Jimmy swallows, angrily swiping the tears from his eyes. 

“I ran away. I left. I shouldn't even be thinking of her, of that place, anymore but I can’t shake the feeling- and sometimes when I’m sleeping, I have d-dreams, it feels like I’m there, again, and she’s showing me to people through the window as if I’m some sort of exotic specimen, and I’m not, I’m just- just me- simple, stupid, trusting Jimmy- and there’s nothing special about me it’s just pure luck that it’s me she found. It’s m-my fault.”

Scott feels his mouth tighten and he wraps his free arm around Jim, the avian letting out a small, startled gasp before sinking into the hug, shaking from the memory while Scott shakes from rage. They stand like that for a long time, Scott not quite trusting himself to speak.

“I. Will. Murder. Her.” The words growl out of his mouth before he can stop them, glaring protectively over Jimmy’s shoulder, trying hard not to clench up and hurt the canary.

Jimmy looks up at him, surprised, moving his head from where it had been pressed to Scott’s chest. “W-what- but it was-”

“It was not your fault,” Scott says, anticipating Jim’s question and intercepting it before Jimmy can blink twice. “Where and when did she find you? Were you fucking kidnapped?” Scott can tell that he probably looks very scary right now, and he can feel his skin freezing up, see the frost beginning to creep over his shades.

“I- I was- well, from what she said, it was back when I was still an egg, back from wherever I came from. The way she told it, she found me, or, my egg, I guess, in a nest in a tree when she was on a hike in Borneo. She always s-said it was the smallest egg in the nest. Do you know what that implies? I have siblings, Scott. I have brothers and sisters and-” he has to stop talking for a minute, and Scott holds him closer, as if just by wrapping the avian in his arms, he could solve all Jimmy’s problems. “She said my parents were away, so she nabbed me out and took me for her own. She said she saved me.”

Scott is infuriated. He is beyond anger, he is beyond hatred, he is the pure embodiment of rage. He wants to murder this woman, he wants to mince her up into a pie and serve her to the sharks. “She did nothing of the sort. Any even half-decent person would know not to take an egg from an avian’s nest- your parents were probably foraging, do you even know your true name?!”

Jimmy looks up at him, surprised. “How do you know about true names? But yeah, I know. It’s kind of- well. I mean I’m not going to tell you what it is, at least not right now, sorry. But an avian’s true name- we just kind of know that instinctively, ever since we’re little.”

“Okay, good,” Scott says, though it’s just a small modicum of relief when compared to the magma that’s begun to flow through his veins instead of blood. “I know about the name thing because we did a unit on avians in Species Studies early last year, you know, before you came.” Jimmy mouths  silent “oh,” and then Scott realizes how tight he’s been holding the avian and how he’s probably very uncomfortable with this and-

He quickly releases Jimmy, pushing away from the canary quickly and slightly forcefully, hoping Jim doesn’t take offense. With a muttered “sorry,” from both of them, the awkwardness is back, and Scott almost curses. Every part of his body where Jimmy’s been now feels cold, even colder than usual, as if even his body is protesting the lack of the one he loves.

“So, movie,” Jimmy says, breaking the silence and turning back to the tea, hiding his face from Scott and obviously trying very hard to act like the whole memory thing hasn’t happened. Without looking, Jimmy slides Scott his bowl of chicken tikka masala down the counter, and Scott very nearly misses it. Luckily, he catches the bowl at the last second, and saves them both from the disaster of being lectured about the importance that things stay clean in John’s kitchen. “Out of the things you said, I think I’d be down for Soul the most, though I kind of want to watch HSMTMTS? If that’s okay with you?”

Scott barks a dry laugh, not quite ready to return to normal himself. HSMTMTS, or High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, is Jimmy’s favorite show, a high school soap opera kind of scene full of stupidity. But Scott follows Beks’ parents’ logic: if Jimmy loves it, by extension, Scott does as well. Or, he pretends to for Jimmy’s sake. “Sure, why not? Where were we at?”

“Um, I think it was- gimme a second to think.” Scott nods, passively observing how to anyone else, Jimmy would seem absolutely fine right now, you could never guess in a million years that he’d just had a breakdown- but Scott knows Jimmy well enough that he can see the little details, a slight shaking of his hands, the way his eyes dart fearfully back and forth, the subtle extent to which he’s drawn in his wings to his back.

How does he do it? How does Jimmy pretend everything’s fine when it’s not, when it’s actually fucking terrible and has been for a long time, how on Earth does he do it? Jimmy seems to possess a certain strength of character Scott’s always been lacking in, a willingness to keep going that’s so strong it’s almost a fault. It’s one of the things Scott loves and admires the most about the canary.

But also- Scott’s been so caught up in what he’s seen that he hasn’t thought about how- he remembers it had happened once at the movie theater, all those months ago- he’d forgotten. They’d shared a memory. As far as he’s aware, it’s only happened the two times- and both with Jimmy’s memory, and he’s pretty sure no one else had seen them either time, so it’s almost certainly a thing that’s just between him and Jim.

He supposes it has to be his siren heritage, because if he’s being honest, there’s no way it’s Jimmy’s doing. Scott loves the avian and all, but there’s no way he would have magic powerful enough to do that. 

He’s never thought he’s really gotten anything particularly siren-like from his mother, other than the cyan and ice (though ice isn’t really a siren trait, now that he thinks about it) so he’s never really felt like it’s very important for him to read up on sirens. He hasn’t learnt about them from school, either; they’ve never done a unit in Species Studies, and if he’s being honest he hasn’t really spent enough time with Mother to learn about siren things from her. 

So all Scott knows are the obvious things: sirens can sing, they have gorgeous voices that hypnotize the listeners, blah blah blah. He’s never heard anything about seeing other people’s memories, but he supposes it really doesn’t seem too far fetched at this point.

“Oh! I remember,” Jimmy calls from his perch on the counter, shaking Scott out of his theorizing with a start. “We were at the part where Seb is singing at Carlos’ quinceanera.”

“Were we?” Scott honestly can’t remember, it’s Jimmy’s favorite show, but it sure as hell isn’t Scott’s- he can barely follow the plot, and because they only watch HSMTMTS about once a month (Scott doesn’t know if he could stand watching it more often), it’s even more difficult to remember.

“Yep,” Jimmy says, gesturing for Scott to grab his tea as he heads to the basement. Scott does so, holding his bowl of masala in one hand and balancing the warm mug in the other, carefully plodding down the steps into the TV room.

Jimmy’s already sat down on the cushy marshmallow couch, and Scott joins him, placing his dishes on the coffee table and making sure he’s at least a foot away from the canary. He doesn’t want to make Jimmy uncomfortable.

The show starts off about as normal, pretty meh, just as Scott remembers it. Doldrum lovesick lives of typical teenagers, and because it’s a Disney show, of course they sing out their sorrows. But Jimmy loves it so he always puts up with it, because he has to pay back the avian in some way from letting him stay in his literal house, right?

And then something unexpected happens: Scott finds himself being sucked into the show, actually interested in something that until now, he’s been completely bored about. He starts genuinely watching as Seb sings a song for his boyfriend, Carlos, and of course Scott had known they were dating before, it’s one of the main plot points, but this is different-

It feels real.

It feels like him. He imagines himself up there, in the back of that tractor with that piano, singing to Jimmy. And then the song’s over and Carlos walks up and-

They’re kissing.

Two characters, in a live-action Disney show, are kissing. Scott finds his eyes drifting not-so-subtly to Jimmy, and then their hands are touching and it’s so close, so feasible, so possible that Scott can feel it and something’s about to happen and their heads are moving closer closer closer to each other, so close that Jimmy reaches out and his hand brushes momentarily against Scott’s cheek and yes yes yes Scott wants this-

A door slams from upstairs and Bek’s voice rings through the house. “Jimmy! Where are you?”

And the spell is broken, Scott shakes off the lavender haze and the rose-colored glasses, muttering a shallow apology under his breath but Jimmy doesn’t seem to hear it, he simply stands and walks upstairs, wings drawn tightly to his back, without so much as a backward glance. Fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck. Scott tries to call out for him, tries to make him understand, but his voice isn’t working and it’s too late, all he can do is watch with horrified eyes as Jimmy walks away, and now it’s all over and Scott’s broken everything for a second time. And so the tears boiling behind his eyes leak out, sharp and biting against his cold skin.

Ice-cold.

[kulturegroupie]

Discover Jimmy Page

A complete list of his most famous electric guitars - pt. 2

from pageysartgallery

1953 Fender Telecaster

Finish: Brown

Years used: 1970s and 1980s, it’s still in his collection

Jimmy bought this Telecaster in November 1975 and first used it with Zeppelin for “Hot Dog” and “Ten Years Gone”. Later on, in the 80s, he used it as one of his main guitars with The Firm.

Apparently, he got the guitar from Robb Lawerence, who at one point left a comment on a Led Zeppelin fansite, explaining the story. According to Robb, the Telecaster was acquired with the intent to install the B-Bender system on it immediately.

The Telecaster originally came with a maple neck, which stayed on it up until late 1979. At that point, Jimmy replaced it with the rosewood neck from his 1959 Telecaster from the Yardbirds era.

“I still have it (referring to the Dragon Tele), but it’s a tragic story. I went on tour with the '59 Les Paul that I bought from Joe Walsh, and when I got back, a friend of mine had kindly painted over my paint job. He said, ‘I’ve got a present for you.’ He thought he had done me a real favor. As you can guess, I wasn’t really happy about that. His paint job totally screwed up the sound and the wiring, so only the neck pickup worked.

I salvaged the neck and put it on my brown Tele string bender that I used in The Firm. As for the body… it will never be seen again! [laughs]”

— Jimmy Page

1967 Vox Phantom XII

Finish: Black with a large white pickguard

Years used: Late 1960s to now

Jimmy acquired this guitar while he was working as a studio musician. He first used it in the studio with the Yardbirds, on their album “Little Games”, on the songs “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor” and “Glimpses”. Later on, he would use it with Zeppelin, on “Livin’ Lovin’ Maid” and “Thank You” from Led Zeppelin II, and “Stairway to Heaven” from Led Zeppelin IV.

“I used a Fender 12-string in the studio. And before the Fender, I used a Vox 12-string. You can hear the Vox on things like “Thank You”, and “Living Loving Maid”. On “Stairway” I used both my Vox Phantom that I used on “Thank You” and my Fender Electric XII.

They both sort’ve sounded the same. It was more about how they played. They felt different. On “The Song Remains The Same”, it’s just the Fender.”

— Jimmy Page (x)

1952 Gibson Les Paul Standard - ‘Second Number Three’ - Used exclusively on the 1977 tour as a backup guitar. Used on “Achilles Last Stand” and possibly “Heartbreaker”, but mainly on “Over the Hills and Far Away”

This guitar was always assumed to be his '69 No3. As more photos/videos became available online in the early 2000's, people noticed slight differences between his '77 red Les Paul and his No3 Les Paul. The main differences are:

- its 50s era Goldtop - re-finished as well, the colour is more cherry red as opposed to the more purple/red of the original No3

- it's a non-pancake body

- slightly smaller headstock

- different binding

This might be the 1952 Les Paul that Jimmy bought in December 1974 from Mike Corby, guitarist of the band “The Babys”. They deduced that this was the guitar that would become his second red No3. This would also fit in with the time frame as Page would have needed time to refinish and customise it, hence not seen until the '77 tour (acquired too late to be used on the '75 tour, they didn’t tour in '76).

Gibson Les Paul TransPerformance - used on “Kashmir” from the 1994 album “No Quarter” and occasionally for live gigs and in the studio

Finish: Metallic gold

Years used: Early 1990s to now

For better or for worse, Gibson did a lot of experimentation over the decades. Things really became interesting in the late 1980s and the 1990s. With the rise of the company’s Les Paul TransPerformance guitar, Jimmy Page quickly became its endorser. However, reactions to this particular model were very mixed. The TransPerformance guitar has basic features that you’d find on most Gibson Les Paul models. There’s the mahogany body with a maple top, mahogany neck, rosewood fretboard, as well as pretty-looking aesthetic additions, like the metallic golden finish, binding, and trapezoid pearl inlays on the fretboard.

But what was really groundbreaking at the time, was that it features a self-tuning system. This includes special Grover tuning machines and a TransPerformance bridge and tailpiece system. The system also includes controls on the body’s front side tied to the bridge and tailpiece that can tune-up automatically according to the set parameters.

Jimmy has three guitars with the Transperformance system built-in – one orange, one gold, and one purple. His favorite among them seems to be the gold one, at least based on how frequently he used it compared to the others.

Gretsch 6122 Country Gentleman

Jimmy used this guitar in the very early 60s, around the time he played with Neil Christian & the Crusaders.

“I went to see Jimmy with Neil Christian in 1961-1962, it was a lunchtime gig at The Boathouse in Kew Bridge. All I saw was this human beanpole with a Gretsch. It was four times bigger than he was…”

— An acquaintance of Page’s, ‘No Quarter: The Three Lives of Jimmy Page’

1959 Fender Telecaster - before the dragon design was painted

When Jimmy first got the Telecaster, it featured just a regular white finish. At some point in 1967, he glued eight circular mirrors on the body – four of them behind the bridge, three below the pickups, and one on top of the body. He was possibly inspired to do this by Syd Barrett of Pink Floyd, who was famous for playing a Fender Esquire with the exact same mirror setup.

That's all - if you made it this far, thank you so much & I hope you enjoyed this!

[slydiddledeedee]

[GRABS YOU] FREE AND ALONE, TOGETHER — 8, 11, 23, 14 🤨🎥🎙📝

my old hanvida fic.....sooooo true

8. Would you ever write a sequel or a second chapter to the one-shot?

I don't think I would! I might return to Alvida and Hancock and whatever they have going on, but I want free and alone, together to stand on its own. Tonally I think it works better without a second part!

11. What scene was hardest to write?

The ending...I didn't know what I wanted to do with them, and as much as I love a happily ever after, it just left a bad taste in my mouth given the themes of the story. I'm really happy with Alvida and Hancock heading back out to sea both together and separately with a promise of the future but needing to find themselves a little bit more in the meantime. But boy howdy it took awhile for me to get there!

13 (I'm assuming since there is no 23). What scene were you most excited about writing?

The conversation between the two of them where Alvida is talking about how Buggy liked her freckles....I've never been a huge Buggyhead but I am also obsessed with whatever he and Alvida had going on pre-divorce arc and also post-divorce arc. I thought it was a really simple way of showing what Alvida actually values in a partner, why his betrayal hurt so much, and how Hancock is different than him--how if Hancock had met Alvida when she was fat, she wouldn't have had the same reaction at all. Idk. Characters that are complicated!!!!

14. What scene is the most different to the original plan?

You're making me go into my Jimmy Neutron mind palace bc I um. Didn't plan any of it out. I had a rough idea in my head but nothing particularly concrete...I think what I wasn't expecting was how natural it felt for them to talk when they first meet in the the beauty section. It's different than other couples who banter, because Alvida is very defensive and Hancock is having a lesbian crisis, and it was just a lot of fun to explore that dynamic! I think it made the rest of the story feel more holistic but I wasn't expecting to write so much of it.

MWAH ILY THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!!

[lesbian-gnf-archive]

can we talk about how different sap’s reaction to dnf is these days? like yeah he still gets slightly annoyed (see: him calling out drm’s dnf pandering in the latest mc video) but it used to be way more back in the day (jimmy jacobs stream was like the height of this when it got really toxic..) there used to be this slight “rivalry” between sap & gnf trying to get drms attention cuz drm was very much both their best friend and I don’t think sap understood that dnf was /different/ in the sense that they love each other equally it’s just dnf’s love is /different/ to what he feels for them or what they feel for him and I just think with them living together now he feels a different fondness over them and that “jealousy” isn’t there anymore and idk I just think that’s very cute I love sap man he’s a good pal to them

Sapogie is sooooo sweet and the difference between how Sapnap viewed dnf when they first started recording to now (and honestly his relationship with George in general) is so beautiful. Like he has and can get annoyed bc who tf wouldn't if they're friends with dnf but he also understands that it's different and that doesn't take away his relationship with Dream and he's gotten way closer to George than he was in 2019 and 2020 and it's so sweet owgh my sapogie

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 2x04 recap

Well, I definitely didn’t lie when I said this one was going to be long. Help.

(To anyone who actually makes it through this entire thing, I salute you. I swear I’m going to try to tone it down next week haha).

Ok I’m gonna try and be relatively short and to the point (heh, good f*ckin luck) about all the non-Armony stuff, because oh boy do I have a lot to say about those scenes. Lord.

I would have paid to see Thony and Fi manage to get Mr Motel Moustache (MMM) into that laundry thing lol. Maybe they tipped it on its side and kind of just shoved him in??

Well at least the show is actually continuing to demonstrate Chris experiencing the effects of trauma rather than just brushing it off the way so many shows do, so that’s something?

Lol no Maya, Garrett and Thony are not sleeping together (never ever gonna happen lol, hallelujah), but she is romantically entangled with a mob boss, so you guys do have that in common haha. But oh ok so it was Robert (or one of his lackeys) who hurt Maya?? Also if they have eyes on her 'at all times' how the hell did she manage to come to a FBI agent’s house in broad daylight?

Sigh. Fi. Thony didn’t answer her phone because she was being blackmailed by Garrett, and had to do what he wanted to protect you… though lbr Thony just needs to start telling Fi everything, bc it would solve a lot of problems. Also I’m so stoked that MMM is alive after all, since dealing with a live threat is so much more interesting than dealing with disposing of a body lol 

I honestly wonder how many people Arman has killed. The ones we’ve seen– Jimmy in 1x03, the bald guy in 1x07, and Hayak– were all situations where he didn’t really have a choice; Jimmy stole from Hayak, so killing him was the expected action (plus, it indirectly protected Thony by satisfying Hayak of her loyalty). Then the bald guy was to save his own life, considering he’d have been dead if Hayak found out about him selling the guns, and killing Hayak was obviously self defense. I think those killings he could make peace with (well… maybe not Hayak so much; I desperately want him to break down to Thony about that one at some point, though I doubt the show will give that to us). But anyhow, he’s never going to be able to be okay with taking a life for Robert. Especially not the life of one of Robert's debtors, someone whose situation is not so different from his own, now. 

Oooh Nadia is pushing for the street drugs– is my prediction gonna come true?? I love that last ep, Arman was telling Thony that they needed to consider Nadia’s idea of selling more lucrative drugs, but now he’s defending Thony’s refusal to Nadia and telling Nadia that they’re not drug dealers. Sounds like someone took Thony’s words to heart… also omg writers please stop dropping hints about Sin Cara killing Bosco!! Don’t you know he’s my boy???

Nadia is all pleased by Arman’s jealousy towards Robert– but is that really what it is? Like okay sure maybe a little (it would be weird to have to deal with your wife’s first love) but I wonder if Arman’s disgust is more about the way Robert looks at her like a prize he wants to win; like an object, which firstly Arman hates because she’s so much more than that, but also because it reminds him that both of them are just objects in Robert’s eyes; not people who came from nothing and made something of themselves, but just playthings for his amusement. I do appreciate that she has a similar reaction to his suggestion that he collect debts for Robert– reminding him he’s more than that, more than just a tool to be used. And lol gotta love Arman’s very half-hearted response to her hug haha, like yesss if I’m gonna have to see physical affection between these two, I want it to be as reluctant as possible on his part lol.

(Btw Arman must have gotten some excellent quality bruise cream bc his swelling and bruising has settled down a hell of a lot in the last like 12 hours lol)

Damn Thony that’s some good tying– “The harder you pull, the tighter they get”?? Where did you learn that one, huh?? Also love that she thought ahead enough to bring a sedative haha– like what other interesting things are in that big bag?? Clearly not rope tho lol

Oh Chris. Poor sad boy. Much trauma. That mirror shot was cool tho

Lol Fi bouncing around like a ping pong ball while Thony just stands there. At least Thony has seen the truth of it– the video is not the real problem here, the problem is the guy who can use what he knows against them– and she has already seen what the end result will have to be. And of course she knows exactly who can help save them from this problem. Also excuse me “He’s not family”– um correction, Fi, he’s not family yet. But give him and Thony a little more time and soon you’ll be calling him your sort-of-brother-in-law lol

I am surprised to admit this, but I kind of enjoy the dynamic between Garrett and new agent guy? Garrett is like a puppy who desperately wants to come play with the other agent dog and his toys lol, it’s almost (almost) endearing. And agent guy has a great voice. 

Oh god Thony. Could you maybe put some gloves on rather than just touching everything with your bare hands??? Also this searching is so inefficient lol, lbr it must be that she’s already decided deep down that she’s gonna call Arman and so she’s just doing this cursory effort at a search so she doesn’t feel like she lied to Fi haha. Also damn this is another good song, if anyone finds out what it is let me know! I’m still bummed that Savage from last ep isn’t on Spotify

Okay can I just point out that if there are outstanding debts that Arman could collect for Robert that he hadn’t ever expected to get back… then he’s a pretty forgiving loan shark?? Also I highly doubt he has a shortage of people on staff to go and make those collections for him… but I guess the whole appeal of the deal is that he gets to feel like he owns Arman (aka the man that Nadia chose) specifically, and is able to make him do his bidding. I have to say I am starting to get Robert’s casting a little more; they needed someone older than Arman and with a bit of gravitas, because no way would Arman be able to deal with taking orders from someone younger and less polished. And Naveen is doing a good job of making Robert a little more nuanced; there’s a surprising edge of vulnerability to him when he talks about Nadia, which actually seems sincere (and she certainly seems to take it as such)-- well, either that, or it’s some very impressive manipulation.  I love Arman literally turning away as he thinks through the offer, which is interesting symbolism as it leaves Nadia and Robert looking at each other behind his back.  He wants to protect her– he doesn’t want her to be subjected to being a plaything for Robert, like he already is– but he also sees the value in taking the offer (it could get them free of him so much faster) and he respects her ability to decide for herself.  But lol “You’re both mine” I think Robert’s over here planning to start a harem haha

You know I was literally wondering like a day before the ep aired who looks after Luca when the kids are at school and Thony and Fi are at work?? This woman seems lovely but there is NO reason for a character to be that pregnant unless they’re going to pop out a baby in like the IMMEDIATE future. Is Chris going to have to deliver this kid????? Also ugh Fi and Chris, these two are nailing these emotional scenes

Arman I am very much enjoying your costume change from suave businessman to hired-muscle-slash-runway-model lol. As much as I enjoy the suits, I vote the black tshirt/jeans/leather jacket combo stays forever. But omg the whole jockey thing? Like ngl I enjoyed it, but man it treaded close to the line of being a little too comedic/slapstick for this show’s vibe– thankfully it didn’t cross the line, but it was close. Maybe the point of choosing this kind of setting /character was to highlight how far Arman has been dragged down from his cool and untouchable mob boss persona of S1, that he is now subjected to the indignity of having to physically chase a debtor like a farmer trying to catch a chicken– not to mention getting his ass handed to him by a guy half his size. Been a long time since you’ve had to do this kind of grunt work, hey buddy?  

God, when he answers her call he doesn't even look at the screen, just hits the button and says her name– how the hell did he know it was her?? Does he have a special vibration alert for her specifically or???? (Most likely it was just to do with the editing of the shots, but I choose to believe that he does have different vibration tones– one for her,  one for Nadia, and then one for all other calls. That way he can know immediately if it’s a call he needs to take). But ugh are you kidding me with this?? The look on his face when she says she needs his help? Like his whole day just completely turned around lol. (Definitely makes me think back to Nadia calling him out– “You love the way she looks at you when you do these things for her. You’re her hero.”). Also he can probably tell instantly from her tone that she’s not distressed, which means he can skip being worried and instead just be pleased that he’s going to get to see her and help her out and make her happy ugh. Of course he probably immediately asked if everything was okay, and sigh I really wish we got to hear that conversation and see his reaction as she told him the whole story about Marco’s death, bc oh man the face journey would have been beautiful. Sigh, just another to add to my list of things to fic, I guess.

Ngl I want to know how these two managed to program keycards for this specific door, since it would have had to be done through the computer system, but I’ll just let that slide lol. Also Fi’s “I wish I knew how to get through to him”-- just let him talk to Arman!! Who better to support a young man who has been through something traumatic and is struggling with having done something terrible?? They can go do something manly together, like idk smash things or Arman can teach him to drive or something, and Chris can talk to someone who is super freakin cool and who Gets It, and also Arman can bond with his future nephew and score points with both Thony and Fi at the same time??? Win win for everybody??  

I love the way Thony tells Fi that she called Arman. She says it in a quick little burst, her body tense but expression determined, because even though she hates going against Fiona’s express wishes, she knows it was the right option– their only option. The whole situation is overwhelming, and Fi needs Thony’s strength and support to get her through it– but Thony can’t carry that kind of weight alone. She, in turn, needs Arman’s strength and support to get her through it. And honestly to her it would seem so clear cut; it’s not just that Arman has ~experience~ with this kind of thing (even though yes, that’s definitely part of it), but it’s also just that– aside from Fi of course– Arman has become her Person?? Some things are too big to be handled alone, and whenever that happens, Arman is the one she turns to, because she knows he will always be there for her, just like she knows she would do whatever she could to be there for him as well. Fi doesn’t get that yet; she sees Thony running off at all hours to do things for Arman, and thinks that it’s because he has power over her or that Thony feels she is indebted to him for helping Luca. She has this caricature in her head of him, this ruthless mobster type who has Thony firmly under his control (likely influenced by whatever shit Marco spouted about him), and so that’s why she reacts to seeing him the way that she does. Well, okay, she also reacts to the fact that he looks like a goddamn movie star, but a big part of her response is the fact that she was expecting some cold-blooded criminal to stride in with his gun drawn and shoot their unarmed captive in the head/violently torture the password out of him before walking out again with some vague threat about how Thony will owe him big for this. (Just roll with me here; I maintain that this is legit and that Fi has as much of an imagination as I do lol). So that’s what she’s fearing when Arman turns up at the door, but instead she gets faced with this leather-jacketed Adonis who immediately looks her in the eye and introduces himself to her, then quietly and compassionately swears to her that he’s going to help her. Honestly her reaction was so perfect (ngl, I let out an embarrassingly high-pitched shriek of laughter at “call me whatever you want”, bc same, girl, same) and it was just so goddamn relatable omg???

In fact, I guess now is a good time for me to admit something… that I have actually personally been subjected to the fun game of ‘Surviving In The Presence Of Adan Canto’ irl. He was on the same flight to Albuquerque as my friend and I when we visited in July, and I ended up having to stand literally right in front of his seat for probably a solid minute waiting for other passengers in the aisle to store their bags and move out of the way (god, I am forever grateful to them for taking their sweet time haha). To be fair, he's maybe slightly less potent in a tshirt/jeans/ball cap combo than in the fancy Arman suits or the leather jacket, but still, holy shit. My friend said that when I turned around to stare at her after first spotting him, it was the most genuinely alarmed she's seen me look in 11 years of friendship lol– thank god that having a mask on gave me a chance to control my face pretty quickly haha! Sadly our seats were at the totally opposite end of the plane to his though, so by the time we disembarked, he was long gone. Not that I would have approached him anyway of course (it was like 11pm, dude was probably just wanting to get home asap) but ngl another glimpse would have been more than welcome haha. (Oh and @enigmaticfox can absolutely attest to the truth of all of this, since I literally immediately paid for in-flight wifi just to be able to scream at her over whatsapp lol.)  

But anyway, the point of all that was to say: Fiona, I get you, girl.

Okay back to the motel room. I freakin love Arman’s surprised little smile at Fi’s response to him; I’m sure he’s had many people have all kinds of ~reactions~ to his hotness, but Fiona is different– because aside from Luca, she’s the most important person in Thony’s life, and boy is he desperate for her approval. Like ugh that pleased little face practically shouts "yes! I'm gonna get a good grade in Impressing My Future Sister In Law, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve!" (...actually, I guess it kind of is? lol). And then ughhhh in addition to the Arman Hotness™ he turns on the full powers of the Arman Compassion™ all while standing  right there at Thony’s side like it’s where he belongs. And THEN it gets worse????? He goes to check out what he’s going to be dealing with, and lord I can absolutely picture him seeing the guy’s bound hands and literally stopping in his tracks, eyebrows shooting sky high. I am honestly grateful there was no one to witness the look on my face when he stepped back out of the bathroom and asked her in that I’m trying so hard to be cool and casual about this right now tone whether she was the one that tied him up, and she clearly can’t quite figure why he’s asking– did she not do it right? Did he disapprove for some reason?-- and then when she confirms it (with just the tiniest hint of defensiveness) he immediately morphs from that wide-eyed blushing emoji to the fucking smiling devil emoji omg. “I see you’ve learned a few things” EXCUSE ME MR MORALES WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DO THAT WITH YOUR FACE AND YOUR VOICE AND YOUR EVERYTHING??? I would personally like to sue this scene for emotional damages because I am absolutely a victim here lol. I think Fi might feel the same, based on the way she looks at Thony; I honestly can’t decide if it’s more “What the hell kind of criminal shit have you been getting up to with this guy??” or “What the hell kind of kinky shit have you been getting up to with this guy??”  (Maybe both?? Let’s go with both haha.) And lollllll forever at Thony just closing her eyes– what a super awkward time to be suddenly very turned on, hey Thony??????

Phew okay honestly I almost appreciate the scene switch to Nadia and Robert purely for some recovery time haha. I like that Nadia isn’t so much ‘working’ for Robert as just getting to do something she enjoys– which is the act of influencing people (especially men) into doing what she wants them to do. It’s a fascinating character trait and I really enjoy seeing the way she uses it on both Arman and Robert in slightly different ways. It’s also very interesting to consider the contrast between how she gets Arman to do what she wants vs how Thony does; Nadia is clever with her words and with her emotions, always knowing which buttons to push and in what order, partly due to her natural talent and partly due to knowing him so long. (Of course, he knows her, too, which means he knows that at any time he might be being deliberately manipulated).  Whereas Thony just comes to him with such earnest openness– there’s no manipulation or guile to her interactions with him (the one time she tried, in 1x05, it was under significant duress and she still couldn’t go through with it because she cared too much about what would happen to him ugh) and god, that must be so damn refreshing for him. Conversely, I think Robert actually loves being manipulated by Nadia. He’s so powerful and untouchable that no one dares to challenge him at all anymore, but Nadia is different; she’s known him since the start, and she’s not scared of him, so there is a kind of teasingly adversarial nature to their interactions that he clearly can’t get enough of.  

Arman, staring at the cord tightly binding the guy’s wrists: “don’t fantasize about it, don’t fantasize about it, don’t– shit too late” lolllll. Got a little bit of a thing for bondage, huh Arman?? Don’t worry, I’m sure Thony will be very willing to demonstrate her technique for you someday not too far from now.  (Seriously, this ep killed me with the sexual tension. It’s like the intensity of the situation made these two forget that they’re supposed to be keeping their distance, and I LOVE IT).  But anyhow I love that they both take the opportunity to have a little catch up while standing over an unconscious dude in a bathtub lol. Ugh Thony’s concern for him and his situation with Robert– firstly because of the debt hanging over him, but also bc thanks to Maya, she knows Robert is both a) into some criminal shit and b) likely to be a person of interest to the FBI, meaning Arman’s connection to him will put him at risk from the FBI again. Arman is all too willing to answer any questions she has, and ugh at that open body language and the way he moves a little closer to her while they talk; meanwhile she’s got her arms folded again, just like I mentioned in my last recap– given we know how much she trusts him and feels safe with him, crossing her arms isn’t a sign of discomfort, but having to hold herself back from connecting  with him physically the way she wants to.  And ok yes, she’s fishing for info rn, but I have no doubt she’s going to tell him her concerns about Robert very soon. Now’s just not quite the time for that conversation haha (like I said, unconscious guy right there). But oh man I held my breath when he mentioned her meeting Robert– I assume it was Robert himself that mentioned Thony at some point, because I think it’s unlikely Thony would have brought it up and we already know Nadia is sticking with the story that she did all the work getting Arman out of jail. It makes sense to me that Thony didn’t tell Arman about the stripping down part, especially right now (again, unconscious guy), and tbh I’m glad, bc while I so desperately want him to know, I want him to find out from Robert himself, because I want him to go completely feral and attack him over it haha. (yes, I also have a WIP about this lol, and I know @chartreuseblueandyellow has already posted a fic which I can’t wait to read once I’m done with mine!). 

Poor Nadia. She talked all tough in front of Robert but honestly she’s perceptive enough to know how precarious their position is, that at any time Robert could tire of the game he’s playing with them and demand what he’s owed. She’s over here being deliberately sexy and charming and pushing Robert’s buttons– aka, playing her part– and where’s Arman? Skipping out on the job that he asked to do so he could go be with Thony (again, points to him for not lying about it tho). Honestly Nadia has every right to be pissed with him, and I’m happy she is, because it will lead to her pushing Arman away– which, conveniently, will allow him to continue on his path towards Thony. (I have an Ask to answer about the Nadia/Arman/Robert situation so I won’t go into it here). But anyway ugh this phone call is amazing because it makes it clear to both Thony and Fi that Arman is choosing to be here helping her even though it is causing issues in his marriage. Thony is clearly contrite about it– she knows the difficult position that their connection puts him in, the way it divides his loyalties, but she still can’t keep herself from repeatedly reaching out to him– but ugh “it’s never a problem for you to call” (translation: please please call me more, I will take any excuse I can get to see you, I will always be there for you) and then that eye contact??? Rude. I’m sad the shot ends a bit abruptly because I wanted to see more of Fi being like HELLO I AM STILL HERE AND SO IS THE UNCONSCIOUS GUY CAN THE EYE LOVE-MAKING WAIT UNTIL THIS SHITSHOW IS OVER PLEASE– and then the two of them do some awkward throat clearing and be all like “uh right so the unconscious guy…” lol

Speaking of MMM, he’s still zonked,  and ugh I love the shot of the little trio standing over him. Absolutely fantastic choice to have Fi standing between Arman and Thony– firstly it shows she’s getting just a fraction more comfortable with him, and secondly it means we are blessed with her looking back and forth between them like she’s watching a very slow and emotionally charged tennis match lol. Forever crying about how he’s so matter of fact about it– “you two can go, i’ll take it from here”-- bc lbr from the moment he heard on the phone that the guy had been a witness to Thony being present at Marco’s death, he knew he was going to kill him. I’m glad though that Thony tells him no and tries to find another solution, because it shows him that she didn’t just blithely assume he would come kill for her, and also that she is trying to protect him too by finding some other way to neutralise the guy without Arman having to get blood on his hands. I love his little smile as he gently explains Crime 101 to them (all witnesses gotta go)-- and then ugh she calls him out on the very notable exception, and omg THE NERVE OF THIS BOY to look at her with so much fucking softness and say “that’s because you’re different’. He doesn’t say ‘that’ was different, he says ‘YOU’RE’ different. Even from the start, he saw something in her, a similarity between them, a connection. He would never want to kill any innocent woman, but with her, taking her life would have felt like killing off something deep within himself, so instead he did the only thing he could do– he pulled her into his world, bringing her close, keeping her safe. So of course she’s different; she’s his, just like he is hers, each of them balancing out the other. Honestly this line was reminiscent of the ‘I’m in too deep now’ from 1x07 (but dialled up even further, ugh), and tbh I don’t know how Fiona was even able to stand being in that room with them right then lol, let alone literally in between them. Probably lucky she was, though, or they might have started making out right then and there, and the problem of MMM would never get solved lol

Uggghhh anyhow gotta move on. I love that Arman immediately relents when Thony insists on trying to scare MMM into silence first; he knows it won’t work, but he knows it’s important to her to try (and lbr, he’s already totally planning to come back and arrange an ‘accident’ for the guy later), so he helps her do what she needs to do. Not that he’s complaining; lbr he absolutely enjoyed showing off his sexy tough guy act for Thony, though not nearly as much as he enjoyed Thony’s quietly unhinged red market organ harvester act. The way his eyes go from her– from her calm expression, her cool and collected movements– to MMM’s face, seeing the fear that she is able to inspire with just her words, it’s clear that he is INTO this. You can even see him swallow hard at one point when she’s laying her hand over MMM’s liver, and honestly this scene is just Too Goddamn Much for me ugh. It’s not only the sexual tension (tho ngl I am getting some strong roleplay kink vibes here, y’all, particularly with a little light dom/sub flavour, lord help me) but it’s also the new level of understanding between them, the perfectly cohesive partnership, and what it means for both of them– for Thony, it’s knowing she can take charge and do something both risky and unfamiliar, and that she will be completely supported by him; for Arman, it’s seeing that Thony is not afraid to step deeper into the shadowy world he inhabits, that she can accept the darker side of him and all the terrible things he has done out of necessity, because she understands. I also love that their knees are just touching as she threatens MMM, a tiny physical reminder of that connection and support. The only shot I couldn’t quite figure out was Arman’s expression when she says that she’ll take the guy’s heart too, and that it sells for $1M– but I decided that it was him mentally being like ‘wait is that actually true???’ lol. Too bad you already gave your heart to Thony for free, huh Arman? :P  But ugh the way he looks up at her for her decision after the guy tells them where to find the file, and the smooth command in her voice as she tells him to stay there while she goes and checks it out-- like I said, the dom/sub vibes are REAL here kids (if you hear some kind of distant screeching/wailing sound, don’t worry, that’s just me not being able to deal with this in the slightest)

Ugh thank god, watching Fi be devastated by the video is actually easier to watch than any of that previous scene lol. I love Thony being savvy enough to wipe the drive, though I wish she’d been equally savvy in wearing some goddamn gloves so they didn’t now have to clean every inch of this room. But oooh the way Fiona is starting to see Thony more clearly now and realising that there is more to her connection to Arman than she’d previously assumed. I was worried when she said Thony was different with Arman; worried she meant it in a negative way, that she might judge what Thony had done, or act like her connection with Arman had tainted her somehow. But then instead she brought up Thony’s trust in him, and it was like ohhhhhhhhhh. Because in that bathroom Fi saw the side of Thony she used to see way back in her surgeon days– the decisiveness and the proficiency, the confidence and the self-assurance of someone feeling completely secure in the situation she was in. Of course, that side of her hadn’t completely disappeared in the time since she’d left work to have Luca, but it was rarer now, tempered by the constant strain she was under and the complete lack of support she received from anyone (other than the limited kind that Fi herself could provide). But with Arman, she is able to become that person again, because she knows she can trust him to be there, to support her in whatever way she needs. Fi knows it even before Thony confirms it (we’ve already heard her explicitly say that she trusts him, and have seen evidence of it countless times, but still, I died at the conviction in that ‘yes') and then ugh the “because he always shows up when I need him”. Honestly, the Backstreet Boys really captured it with “I don’t care who you are/ Where you’re from/ What you did/ As long as you love me” lol; Thony doesn’t care about Arman’s past, or that he sometimes has to do bad things– not only does she know the world is far more complicated than simply being split into Good and Bad (she’s even said as much, when detained with Garrett in 1x09), but Arman has also proven himself to her, proven that he’ll always be there when she needs him, that she matters to him in a way Marco never showed her. I often noticed the contrast between Marco and Arman in S1 in relation to Thony, how one of them would always only add to her burden while the other would always try to lighten it in any way he could. (Even in death, Marco added to that burden, but here Arman is, taking care of her yet again). But anyway ugh Thony swearing to Fi that she would do anything for their family but that sometimes that way is not going to be the way they want definitely ties back to Arman’s line in 1x01 about doing things ‘any way you can’.  And idk maybe it’s just me but “sometimes things just happen the way they happen” sure sounds a lot like “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall in love with a mob boss while still married to your brother, but here we are” lol. In which case, Fi’s acceptance with ‘Bahala Na’ could have a whole other level to it– whatever happens with Thony and Arman, happens… 

Well, those USBs were a lucky find lol. But ugh Arman’s concern when they come back into the room looking upset, and the freakin predatory glint he gets in his eyes when he says ‘he lied to us’ (idk why the us has me so affected lol, it’s the logical word choice, but damn if it doesn’t make me feel like he’s a member of the family now).  Poor Thony is so rattled tho– tbh she’d known right from the start that MMM was a problem that would need to be eliminated, and what that would likely mean, but then the apparent success of their little roleplay had really had her believing that silencing him could be achieved without bloodshed. But now she knows the truth, sees that Arman knew it all along. And I love that he knows she understands now, so he just lets her process and focuses on Fiona instead, all gentle and calm and reassuring with “You don’t have to. I promised to protect your family. I’ll take care of it.” Which, firstly, (*muffled screaming*) and secondly, according to Wiki, one of the meanings for Bahala Na– other than whatever happens, happens– is “I’ll take care of things”.  Which kinda seems slightly contradictory, but still, I love that through this other meaning, Arman is part of their Bahala Na pact with them. (Ngl I’m totally gonna adopt this concept in my own life, I love it.) Anyway I feel like the stunned look in her eyes is not just about the fact that MMM is going to have to die, but also that Arman is so prepared to do it for them. She still hasn’t clicked to the fact that Arman would do anything for Thony, which I guess is fair, considering this is the first time she’s even seen them together– but I think after this, the image she had in her head of the ruthless mob boss keeping Thony trapped in his grip is certainly going to be gone, replaced by that of a man with a complicated past who truly cares about (loves) her best friend. But anyway ugh the way Thony reached for Arman, holding on for that brief moment as she accepted what was about to happen– the touch both a request and an acknowledgement; she knows what needs to happen, and what will happen no matter what, but she still gives Fiona agency in that choice, just like Arman did for her earlier when he agreed to her plan. And the fact that she acknowledges that Chris is Fi’s son and so the decision is up to her shows that she is really listening to her and respecting her position in this situation, especially considering how Fi told her earlier in the ep that calling Arman wasn’t her decision to make. God this show is just freakin incredible with the nuance in its character interactions, I honestly can’t. (Also damn, Martha knocked this scene out of the fucking park, omg. What a queen.)

I also just cannot deal with Arman’s entire everything as he leans there against the counter (so goddamn rude, sir) or the small nod he gives Fi. But ugh then when Thony’s eyes lift to his, clearly pained, and he gently reassures her that it’s okay– he knows her hesitation is partly about the fact that she’s literally condemning a man to death, but lbr he also knows it’s more about the fact that he is going to have to be the one to carry that weight on his shoulders. He knows it, just like he knew in 2x02 that when she said she felt like she’d failed everyone, she wasn’t talking about Marco. And so when he says it’s okay, it’s not just ‘it’s okay, you had no choice, the guy had to die’, but ‘it’s okay. I choose to do this, and you don’t need to regret it, because I won’t.’ Ugggggghhhhhh. Honestly i cannot wait for their next scene together, because the way they look at each other after being even more deeply connected in this way is going to be A Lot. (And considering how intensely they already look at each other, I’m probably not going to survive this. Ah well, at least I'll die happy lol) 

Ok gotta say I’m definitely noticing a change in Garrett this season. I think it’s partly bc his dog-with-a-bone attitude isn’t being directed at Arman so much anymore, now that he’s caught up with getting Maya free of Cortez– he really does seem to care about Maya, and though he was blowing up thony’s phone with calls, he was begging for her to hand over the cloned phone rather than threatening her. I think he resorted to the threats last ep because he had to, but never had the intention of following through or continuing to make her work for him; it’s clear he has a soft spot for Thony and wants to help her when he can, and I liked that he actually showed genuine appreciation for her help, and that he agreed that it was a one-time thing– that she had done her part and he wouldn’t demand any more of her. At this stage it probably seems to him there's nothing else she could do anyway, though if he finds out she's connected to RK, that will almost certainly change… I also appreciated that when Fi called for Thony to help with the pregnant lady, he immediately checked if they needed extra help. And oh man I think I'm actually developing a weird grudging almost-fondness for him a little bit?? Like he's still an absolute jackass, but he's our jackass??  Tbh this must be how Russo feels lol

Wow Robert is clearly really enjoying having Nadia around haha. Can’t say I blame him, and tbh the ‘why are you asking me, I’m not your boss’ line was actually pretty good lol. (I feel like I need to add in a permanent disclaimer here: I still hate him and tbh hope he dies by the end of the season kill him Thony but his scenes with Nadia so far are not bad to watch). I can’t be bothered to say anything more about this scene– this is already so long, and I’m gonna talk more about these two in an Ask shortly– but basically I’m glad to see them getting closer, because it’s exactly what the season needs.

Ugh I have listened to this song (Mother, by Byland) so many times, and the vibes it gives about this show are so good. I liked the juxtaposition of Thony bringing a life into the world at the same time Arman was taking one out of it– it shows how they complement each other, how they fit together, ying-yang wise.  (Though dude it has to have been at least ten years since Thony delivered a baby, which is about the same as it has been for me, so damn I respect her doing that on her own without freaking out lol). Also I had a little giggle at Chris holding the baby– like oh ok sure, poor traumatised boy experiences the miracle of life and suddenly feels better. Congrats. I do hope the show won’t just have him be totally fine now– what he went through was huge and seeing the wrinkly little face of a fresh human is definitely not enough to erase that. But I guess we’ll see.

But anyway, I gotta say I respect MMM for just accepting his fate and not trying to yell or run. Sorry it had to be this way buddy, but you really did fuck up in threatening these two women specifically. Arman hesitating to shoot broke my heart a little; he really is a good man, and killing someone in self defense (eg Hayak, bald guy) is very different from an execution-style murder. I think it’s especially hard for him now because since knowing Thony, he has become more and more aware of that darker side of himself, and how much he hates it and wants to be better. But tonight at least, it’s that darkness that will keep Thony safe; left alive, this man will always be a threat to her, which is something Arman simply cannot allow. And it’s because of that– because of her– that he has the strength to pull the trigger. 

Okay jesus there we go. Almost 7k words later and I’m free of this episode haha. Like I said at the start (if any of you can even remember back that far) I am going to try and tone these down again from now on, but if y’all decide not to continue subjecting yourselves to these, I completely understand haha. But for any of you crazy masochists out there who want to continue– I’ll see you next week lol

[bepractical]

Jimmy and Michael, Part Deux

I’m almost done recapping season 1 of Kin, so what better time to do some rambling about Michael and Jimmy’s relationship? Specifically (but not exclusively) Jimmy’s emotional speech to Michael in episode 8.

In case you haven’t seen the episode in a while, I’ve transcribed the scene below for maximum impact.  Here are some pics, to remind you of how sad and pathetic they both look. See also this post for more screen shots of sadness. For context, this is the scene where Jimmy finally calls out Amanda and Michael’s relationship, and the fact that they’ve most likely been in love since before Jimmy and Amanda got together. This has been an open secret all season, a lovely pairing to Jamie’s paternity.

Jimmy: You know what I often wonder? Why you didn’t just let me know about you two back then. You could’ve just told me…that you loved her…that she loved you. That you wanted to be with her. You could’ve just said it. Why didn’t you say it?

Michael: Suppose I…didn’t want to hurt ya.

Jimmy: Thing is, if you’d just told me back then, I would’ve been gutted, I would’ve been fuckin’ raging, but I know I’d have gotten over it, eventually. I would’ve moved on. Could’ve met someone else. I’d be happy.

Michael: I’m sorry.

Jimmy: I just wish you’d told me back then, is all. 

Oof. Definitely in need of a bulleted list for analysis. 

First, this is the second time I’ve transcribed a speech of Jimmy’s for my recaps (the first was his eulogy at Jamie’s funeral). 

Is Jimmy lowkey the best character on Kin?

Okay, no, but he is emotional and transparent about his feelings: he isn’t afraid to talk and cry publicly over his love for Jamie; or piss in a bag of blood money to show his disdain; or cuddle Michael and kiss his sons to show that he loves them; or tell Amanda he loves her when he feels her pulling away; or tell Michael how much he’s hurting when he realizes he never really had Amanda at all. Compared to Michael, whose emotions are only evident when dealing with Anna and sometimes Amanda, Jimmy is an open book. It’s easy to forget he made the bed he’s lying in. He’s a lot like Eric that way.

Second, Michael’s reaction. It is fascinating. Think of the how we’ve seen Michael react to Anna and Amanda. Remember this?

How about this?

Or this?

Now look at his reaction to Jimmy pouring his heart out.

I think it’s fair to say that Michael is somewhat emotionally detached from his brother.

This scene reminds me of their conversation in the bar after Jamie was killed, where Jimmy was upset and reaching out- he’s always reaching for Michael- and Michael’s response was formal and canned. Take a look at the header of this post, all those instances of Jimmy trying to connect with Michael. It’s never the other way around.

It’s the difference between Michael yelling and cussing at Amanda in fear and anger after the cafe shooting and staring quietly at Jimmy’s snakes in the aftermath. 

For whatever reason, this is how their family dynamics have shaken out. It’s interesting to track over the course of the season and it makes me sad for them both.

I should also note that, while Michael apologizes to Jimmy, he doesn't specify what he's apologizing for, not for how he feels, or even for hurting Jimmy. He doesn't try to walk back anything Jimmy says.

Lastly, there’s one thing Jimmy doesn’t do in this conversation with Michael, and that's take any responsibility for his failing marriage. He thinks he’s unlocked the root of the problem- Michael and Amanda are in love- but he doesn’t recognize what he’s done, what we’ve seen him do, to exacerbate their issues. He scratched at the surface of it during his conversation with Amanda last episode but just missed the mark. While there are definitely feelings between Michael and Amanda, Jimmy and Amanda have been together for at least 18 years, and for eight of those years Michael was in prison. Their problems are bigger than Michael. Much as I loved this conversation, the Michael and Amanda of it all is not the sole problem in Jimmy's failing marriage. 

Jimmy is emotional whereas Michael is not, but they're both vulnerable, damaged people. Jimmy can have a myopic view and get caught up in his own emotions. Take the scene in episode 4, when Jimmy and Michael return from the hospital after Michael's brain scan to find Frank and company waiting for them. Frank tells Michael a hard truth- killing Caolan Moore has destroyed his chance at seeing Anna- and Jimmy looks like this in reaction.

It's clear he didn't take into account the possible consequences for Michael killing Moore. This is a pretty persistent thread with Jimmy. He's not malicious, but he can be oblivious. Also like Eric. It's a family trait!

To be fair, Michael is incredibly closed off. Jimmy is the one who is comfortable expressing and articulating his feelings, so Jimmy's feelings may feel like they take precedence. And there's always the specter of bad dad Bren. I suspect he played a large role in shaping them both. All roads lead to bad dads (and moms).

[stormyoceans]

The only scene i wanted to change was this scene with Day's friend/badminton partner because let's be real thai series can't make good jealousy plots (yet?). But your remark about wanting to see Mork falling in love made me think so hard about it i think i had a whole ted talk in my head uvuctxj

So as we all know the stereotypical division of roles is common inThai dramas (I'm talking about the role of the one who initiates and the role of the one who accepts). I would say that puentalay are better in this regard but it still feels like Jimmy is the initiator in their pair. I think it's normal for Thai culture (he's older, he's more experienced, he even has more acting experience, he's a doctor, which drives everyone crazy). And the dynamic of the daymork is similar, only in my opinion, they are more open. Puen and Talay both seemed to be hiding some part of themselves for different reasons. I got the impression that Mork and Day wouldn't be like that. it will be easy for them to fall in love with each other. But damn, I wish I could see the reverse dynamics.... those rare moments when Sea led and Jimmy played shyness were good. and I understand that Mork is a big flirt, but if Aof made him more shy and yk besotted after realizing his feelings for Day, it would be just amazing. So yes, i demand scenes of Mork visibly being affected by Day. Let the man be smitten and blushing and kicking his feet and smiling widely because of Day

ALWAYS HAPPY TO PROMPT ELABORATE DISCUSSIONS WITH ONESELF BECAUSE THAT'S BASICALLY ME EVERY DAY IN MY HEAD SFJKSGFKGSJSG

you know.. i do wonder if the industry expects us to perceive jimmy's characters as the active pursuers just because he's older than sea, but i've actually been thinking that, at least in vice versa, the narrative doesn't really back this up. i guess this can be up for interpretation, but while there is a slight power differential in puentalay because talay is usually more shy and puen more 'aggressive', i feel like there's no established seme/uke dynamic between them, which is yet another reason why i love them so much (and please notice that im using 'seme' and 'uke' just because BL has its roots in yaoi and those terms carry a whole lot of specific characteristics that have defined BL pairings for a long time too)

it's true that puen is the one to pursue the relationship more, but the relationship actually happens only on talay's 'conditions': only when talay admits to like him back puen kisses him again, only when talay tells puen that he has opened his heart to him a long time ago they officially become boyfriends. there are also moments where talay IS the more 'aggressive' one, either consciously (when he makes puen shy in ep 4) or unconsciously (when he manhandles puen out of tess' shirt in ep 7), and this versatility in their relationship is also displayed by the way they easily exchange roles in some tropes: for example, we see puen feeding talay very often, but we also see talay feeding puen in a couple of occasions, and similarly we have both puen laying his head on talay's lap AND talay laying his head on puen's lap

all this to say that i actually think (and hope) we're probably gonna have a similar situation with morkday, because while mork definitely seems like a big flirt and day is visibly affected by it, in the trailer day is actually the one we see initiating a kiss BUT NOT SEEING MORK REACTION IS KILLING ME. so i guess this is why i would have loved to see mork being affected by day as well, because they have the potential to have the same versatility as puentalay while also having day being the more 'aggressive' one when it comes to pursue an actual relationship!!!