#also when i say im indifferent; it just means i just stay clear of them; i stay wary & i care about them like a stranger in the store

[throwawaytabs]

ive realised, its not that my family is against me or out to get me, its just that theyre indifferent to me & they want their kicks one way or another

be it drama, resources, revenge, someone to take their emotions out on; they want their kicks and dont care who gets hurt or traumatized. especially not me.

white family be like

[seancekitsch]

Out of the Rain: a Marko x Reader fic

Warnings: bloodplay goes without saying bc vamp, rough sex, dirty talk, semi public sex, telepathy?? me projecting my music taste on this fic again. drug use, fast and loose use of vampire lore bc when i write i am god and u cannot stop me. also can u tell i have like…. v clear descriptions of the setting like i used to work at the place im describing but its not in california

No one had come in for hours. What's the point of staying open? You dim some of the lights in the store, which is one of three head shops in Santa Carla, but the only one open late. You're not really sure why this is the only store that stays open, why everyone else if worried about the three am walk back to their car on a weekend night. You've never seen anything of suspicion, just sometimes that biker gang watches people shuffle out. That was almost comforting, though. People didn't like those guys, so no one would make you use your switchblade if they were around.

The bright while fluorescent lights of your typical daytime ambiance faded away, and now green light bathes you in the “mood” lighting your boss thought was a good idea. The green lighting reflects off of the glass counters, shining it back at the ceiling and making everything that much more green. It fits, you think with the overall vibe of the store. The stale scent of weed, gently and miserably covered up by some nag champa incense, always burning in at least four different spots within the store. You'd long since gotten used to the smoke in your eyes. The music does everything to add to the ambiance. You always have full control of the music in the shop, usually because no one else is willing to take the night shift in Santa Carla. In fact, most of the boardwalk shops had a revolving door of night shift workers. You never got why, something clearly spooks them that does not spook you. Whether that makes you brave or stupid, you dont know. Jefferson Airplane’s Surrealistic Pillow pumps through the speakers in the store. But I suppose no one knows, you're my plastic fantastic lover.

The rain batters the boardwalk outside, a roar much different than the typical hustle and bustle of drunk teens, of the cliques and crews that come in and out; the few that sit and snicker in the doorway, never entering. Some too afraid to be associated with the implication of being spotted in the shop. We sell jewelry and vinyl too, you always say, when they balk at the idea of being in the same room as a bong or incense.

But then there's the other group that stands and idles in the threshold, also not entering. It's that biker gang. Four guys, a girl, a kid. Maybe he’s the brat of the girl and the one who takes himself too seriously, but maybe not. She looks too young for that. They'd been hovering around quite a bit lately, always after dark. You’d spoken to them, at least the ones that are talkative. The hair metal wannabe and the cute short one. Paul and Marko. You knew the dark haired one was Dwayne, but all he ever offered you was a curt nod and a tight lipped smile, respectful but indifferent. They're nice, not worth the spooky reputation they have. Any time it's not just you at the shop, your boss tries to spook them away. Good thing your boss isn't here tonight, because one of them is prowling around the storefront in the rain. That is, if it's not your spliff induced haze playing tricks on you.

No, one of them is out there. Without his little pack. The cute one. Marko.

You walk over to the door, which you haven't had propped open since the rain trickled in as a drizzle at the beginning of your shift. At least he had enough sense to be huddling under the awning. Fuck, he’s handsome even when he looks like a drowned rat.

“What are you doing out here?” You scrunch up your nose as you ask.

“Y’know, waiting for you to show up.” Wanted a look at that cute ass.

You blink at him. Did he really just say that?

“Okay… well, you know it's raining out there, right?”

“I might,” he offers noncommittally, eyeing the spliff still in the hand that's not holding the door. If it were anyone but him, you'd probably get fired for it.

Why is he just hanging around out here? That's hella weird. His curls are getting matted to his forehead, slick with rain, his jacket starting to look a little sad.

“C’mon in, Marko. It’s too wet out here. You’ll fuck up your jacket.” You nod towards the interior of the shop holding the door open as he passes you.

Wrong move, sweet cheeks.

“What did you say?” What did he mean, wrong move?

“I didn't say anything,” he offers nonchalantly as he thumbs at one of the tapestries on the wall. A garish mess that’s supposed to be the worm from Alice in Wonderland, but it’s distorted by a botched tie dye job of dark muddy colors. Every time you look at it, you assume one of the day workers did it.

“No, you said something.”

“Do you want me to say something?” there's both a threat and an innuendo in his tone. Maybe you do, but you just laugh, a sharp exhale through your nose, and bring the spliff to your lips again as he follows you deeper into the store.

You jump up onto the counter next to the ash tray, easy reach for each time you need to ash.

“So why are you really here?” your eyes narrow at him, kicking your sandal off on the floor where it lands a few inches from his boots. He looks uneasy in the space, like for all the wild shit you assume he’s into, he might not actually belong in it. He sways a little to the music, perfectly in tune with the rhythm. You sway along too, and suddenly he fills the space like he belongs. He just needed someone along for the ride with him.

“Do you ever come around during the day, or just at night because I’m so fun?” You’re teasing him, but it’s a nice easy feeling between you.

“Not really a sun guy,” bullshit, he would look beautiful with a tan, “but I do drag everyone here just to see you.”

“Awww, all for me? Do you have a crush, Marko?”

It’s more than that. You hear the words clearly, but his smile doesn’t move. You kick the other sandal off.

“I can hear you, I don’t know how, but I can. I bet you can hear me too.”

I can. You’re wrong about the tan thing.

You straighten up, mind clearing as you blurt out your next question. Something absolutely stupid.

“So what are you, a vampire or something?” he laughs at you, but his big toothy smile doesn't reach his eyes. No, there's something predatory, extremely dark in his eyes. Otherworldly.

How could you guess?  

“Well, that for one big fucking clue.” You ash the spliff for the final time, leaving the roach in the tray. You would think you’d be more surprised, more upset that you just found out vampires were real, and that you were in the same room as one. You have to say, weirder things are probably afoot in Santa Carla. Murder capital of the world can’t all be from some rowdy teens and a ten year old.

“You do those surf nazis?” is all that leaves your mouth. You kind of hope it was. They were the fucking worst. Racist, misogynistic, destructive. You’d had to threaten them a few times to leave your store on your shift.

“The—? Oh! Surf nazis. Yeah that was us. Ate a few of them.”

“Good for you. I mean— murder. bad. But they were nazis, and now they’re dead. so…” you trail off. Not really sure what to say next, but then you keep going. Remember everything you know about Marko.

“No, no I mean, it makes sense. Right? You and the guys only hang around at night. Aren’t vampires solitary hunters though? I don’t remember Dracula being in a frat.”

“They’re my pack. We take care of each other.” He says it with such fondness and devotion.

You feel a pang of jealousy run through you. You work alone for the most part, live alone, you’ve got friends but they’re all over the place. He belongs to something.

“And you're down with this?” he’s legitimately asking. You nod. You don't really have a choice, you're down or you get eaten, but like genuinely you are down with it. If he was going to eat you, he probably would have by now. There's probably a reason they've been hanging around the store, and in your sightline while you close up. You're putting things together.

“Like really?”

“Well, you haven't made me a kebab yet.”

He shrugs, frowns.

“Could still skewer you on something.”

Laughter erupts from your lips while you roll your eyes, music to Marko’s ears. This is why he took a shine to you, it's easy to get along with you, and you're not one of his brothers.

Something heavy falls in the room, and it's not the haze of the incense. He steps towards you, big blue eyes raking over your body, but always coming back to meet your gaze. He closes the space between you, easily fitting between your thighs; the rough patches of his jacket brushing against your bare skin where your shorts ride up. He leans in, like he's about to kiss you, and against all better judgement, you're going to let him.

You're going to let him.

The record skips. He holds out his hand, more like a gentleman than a biker gang killer, and helps you off the counter.

“Hold on, let me pick out a new record,” you turn without waiting for his confirmation, not at all surprised when Marko follows hot on your heels to the back room. Your boss’ office, the record room. Whatever you wanted to call it. His hands ghost over your arms as you push past the wooden bead curtain to enter the room. You can feel his presence close enough to touch. That's it, right where I want you. There’s his voice again.

He lets you actually pick out a new record. You slide it out of the sleeve and walk it over to the player. The static buzzes and pops as the needle finds the groove.

“Ocean Rain, you heard it?” No. He shakes his head, and you can feel it as he leans into your back.

“Echo and the Bunnymen. They've got a new album coming out this year.”

You turn to face him and his fingerless leather glove clad hands cover your cheeks.

He kisses you gently, tenderly. Not at all the way you’d expect. He’s eager, kissing like there’s something to prove. He licks his way into your mouth, tongue pushing your lips apart and you let him. His arms tighten around you as you kiss, tongues now greeting each other playfully. Your tongue explores his mouth, running along each and every tooth in his mouth. Huh, no fangs, you realize, and maybe he isn't actually a vampire. As if he reads your mind (maybe he does), he pulls away.

“They're, uh, hiding,’ he nods, almost to himself more than you. You nod as well, slow and uneasy, not quite believing him, but he pulls you back into a harsh kiss, more of what you expected. His hands roam your body as yours bury themselves in his curls. Still damp, but long and beautiful just as well. He shrugs the jacket off his shoulders, and his hands only briefly leave you to throw it and his gloves somewhere else, leaving him just in a thin white tank top. His mouth leaves yours to trail lower, kissing your neck. Your pulse point. Fucking irresistable. No, that's definitely his voice. Is this the end? Could be.

“I can smell you, hot stuff,” he moans into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You find yourself gripping onto his shoulders a little tighter, but he lets you sink. He guides you, again more gently than you thought he would; bare knees brushing the threadbare carpet floor before you plant yourself. You look up at him through your lashes and he all but bites back a groan.

“You gonna join me down here?” You lick your lips, waiting for something.

“Nah, I’m gonna let you have a head start,” there's a joke in his tone. You're learning that’s normal for him. He’s silent, or playing jester. It’ll be interesting when you let him fuck you. Shit, did he hear that?

“Quit thinkin’ so loud!” he runs an affectionate hand through your hair. “But yes, I heard you. Glad you're as eager as I am.”

That's encouraging. You take your time undoing his belt, connected to faded and soft leather chaps, not bothering to push them down his thighs before you move to the top of his jeans, teasing your fingers at the skin just above the waistline. He shudders under your touch, extremely reactive. Does he get touched like this often? Or is it just quick fucks? You don't want to think about who else he might be doing this with, focusing again on his body, and all of the offending clothing covering it. You unbutton them slowly, teasing. For a member of the undead, he seems to be out of breath under your movements. The zipper is pulled down just as slowly. You run your palms flat along the bottom of his stomach, to his hips before pushing his jeans down to around his ankles, hooking his boxers on your finger along with them. He’s beautiful, and you can help but stare. Hard, eager, and thick, greeting you with a small trimmed patch of golden blonde curls. You wrap your hand around the base.

You never expected a vampire to whimper, but that's exactly what happens when your tongue darts out of your mouth to lick the head of his cock. Quick, tentative little lick, testing the waters. Your tongue swipes across the slit at the tip of his thick member and his hands animate like you flipped a switch, rising up, going to your hair, rising up again, slamming down against the desk. Your boss’ desk. You lick a long stripe to the underside of his cock, paying close attention to the prominent vein there.

“So good, so good, oh you feel so-” he pants out, hands white knuckling the edge of the desk. Heat pools in your core, loving that he’s so vocal. Fuck, if he could just keep speaking. Your other hand moves to your shorts, sloppily and hastily undoing them and wiggling them down to your knees. You wrap your lips around the head of his cock and sink down on it, taking him as far as you can, until you couch when he hits the back of your throat.

“You look fucking beautiful like that. Please move, Please move, you’re so fucking good at this.”

You do, starting to bob your head up and down on the length of him, hollowing out your cheeks and flattening your tongue against him, cupping and massaging his balls in your hand. Your free finds itself between your legs, rubbing gently at your clit, stirred and encouraged by his praise.

“Does sucking me off get you hot and bothered?” Yesitdoes.

You keep bobbing your head, rubbing your clit, eyes trained on his until his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches in your mouth.

“Don't wanna- don't wanna finish in your mouth,” he’s urgent, grabbing you by the chin and pulling your mouth off of his cock. He pushes you back by your shoulders, letting you guide yourself back to lay on the rug. He pulls your loose shorts easily off your legs and settles himself between your legs, too eager to bother with removing his boots and everything.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. Do you know how bad I wanted this?”

“Fuck me, Marko, dont say it. Just do it,” youre breathless under him, wanting nothing more than for him to be fucking you. He pauses.

“I dunno…” his thumb swipes up along your clit, drawing a whine from your throat, “For some reason I think you like it when I say things.”

You nod, knowing words will fail you. And he gives you what you want, lining himself up and sinking into you, groaning as he buries his head into the crook of your neck.

“Oh I knew your pussy would feel like fucking heaven,” he pants against your neck, pressing a harsh kiss to the underside of your jaw. He sets the pace quickly, unmerciful and fast, fucking hard and deep into you. His hands push up your thin tee shirt, and you can feel his sigh of relief when he gets a handful of bare breast. He doesn't have to deal with a bra tonight. You hike your knees up, opening yourself as much as you can to him, wanting him to fill you to the brim. He looks into your eyes while he fucks you, which comes as a surprise to you. Maybe it shouldn't. You wonder what it would be like to be a victim of his. Does he treat them well? Have fun with them like this? Or is he vicious? You don't know if you could picture him like that… vamped out.

“What does it feel like?”

“What?” he thrusts sharply, snapping his hips into you, making you yelp.

“To be fed on, but not to die.”

Are you serious? You hear him in your head.

YesIam. He thrusts like that again, earning an identical yelp, now coupled with your thighs squeezing him around the middle. You're close already, and he can tell.

He nods, a question; You nod, confirmation.

He pulls at the neckline of your shirt, already scooping so it doesn’t ruin, and exposes your shoulder. Somewhere non lethal. His other hand comes up to grip your jaw, covering your neck but being careful not to squeeze it. You hope he bruises your jaw, you realize. A physical way to feel him when dawn comes. He slows his pace to a rocking, grinding into you, staying deep.

Then he bites. Stars erupt behind your eyes, and it feels like your blood has turned to seltzer. Every nerve in your body is in overdrive as you moan and shake and come undone around his cock. You're the kind of girl that comes from the bite of a vampire, apparently. He doesn’t let up. You can faintly hear him moaning against the open wound in your shoulder, and you hope you taste good to him. He licks the wound a few times more, softly, carefully, like he’s trying to soothe you when he finally lets you come down from your high.

When he pulls back to let you see him, his features are gruesome, full vampire with sharp brows and cheekbones, pointed nose even that much more so almost birdlike. Fangs and bottom half of his face covered in blood.Your blood.  He’s panting like an animal after the kill. But he doesn't scare you. Maybe he should, but he doesn't.  It's just Marko, no matter what, and if he wanted to eat you he would have. Several times now. His hand finally releases your jaw, to wipe the blood from his face. He wipes his hand then on your face, covering you in your own blood, hot on his fingers and palm.

“Fuckin sexy,” he pants, voice deeper and distorted. His thrusts speed up, trying to find his own release as your nails dig into his back, maybe making him bleed as well. You feel the rug burn forming on your back, you feel tears in your eyes. It's never felt this good with other guys.

When he comes, he comes with a howl, buried deep inside you as he shouts and shivers then stills above you. Your chest is heaving, trying to regain yourself as his face slowly fades to normal, and he slumps down on top of you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, near the wound he tore open, now no longer bleeding. He mouths at any bare skin he can find, lazy half kisses as he spreads more mess and blood on you. Your fingers find his curls again, winding them around your digits as you stare up at the sickly green mood lighting bathing the walls of the room.

An hour later, Marko is helping you lock up early.

He makes sure to dump out all of the ashes from spliffs and incense, makes sure the vinyl is all in its right place while you make sure the register and inventory is all in its rightful place and order.

“You’re dangerous, you know.”

“Me?” you scoff, “That rich, coming from you.”

I’d do a lot of things I’m not supposed to for you. You kinda don't want to ask him what he means by that. For some reason that feels like a conversation you shouldn't have tonight. 

He leaves the store before you, holding the door open for you and letting you lock the doors. He slings an easy arm over your shoulder, not bothering to shield either of you from the rain as he steers you towards your car. You can feel the rain cleaning your face, the blood flowing away and saving you the shower you were going to take before collapsing into bed tonight.

“Where’s your bike?”

“I flew here,” he says with that devilish smile, and you're really not sure if he's joking or not. Your arm sneaks its way into his jacket and wraps around his waist, holding him close as he makes sure you get home same. Marko makes you feel calm, in a way you didn't feel before you moved to Santa Carla. How long had he been waiting to make his move? And does this mean he and his brothers would be coming around more often? Maybe being more friendly towards you. Each step towards your car feels heavy; You don't want to go home alone without him, but somehow you know he won't come with you. 

“Will I see you again?”

He grabs your car keys from your hand, and sticks them in the door handle. Of course you will.

Right. You just have to be near the beach at night. You know, where you work.

He kisses you full on the mouth, holding you close and tight, like you could slip away at any second. When he finally lets you go you pull away to be met with his face, full on grinning, his eyes still closed from the kiss. He doesn't look like a killer.

Marko watches you as you pull open the door to your car and more or less throw your ass into the seat.  He holds the door as he gives you one last smile, and says:

“You know, you should never invite a vampire into your life. Renders you powerless.”

And he winks. 

[kimsnnn]

Part 2

Disclaimer: This post is in favor of my ship, Elriel. No hate, just an opinion. This is what makes sense to me. If this isn't your cup of tea, and it came up on your feed, no worries just skip please. 

With all this in mind Elriel to me just seems so clear.

The enemy is Koschei and Vassa is the only one to be directly linked to and affected by him so she will be the one to defeat him, plan and give us insight from the inside because she is the one who is captive. She has a personal interest in defeating him and that victory and moment is rightfully hers to own.

She will get a book. Her being a firebird means nothing? why would people assume she won't have a conscious while in that form when Rhys, Tamlin and Helion do?  Why do people believe that a story cant be developed and moved along as a firebird? Has any one ever read a werewolf book? Im soooo confused. I mean why is that a end all? Even as a firebird she can see and reveal so much, and as a person even more.

The main original characters that have a direct link to Feyre from the very beginning before Hybern, Amarantha, and ACOWAR are Nesta, Elain and Lucien. Those are the characters that make the most sense to have their own book. Not Tamlin who is of no importance to Feyre anymore. Who is of importance and who where her first family Lucien basically becoming her first brother. She is always concerned for these people. If you take a look at all of Feyre’s POV in ACOFAS its always showcasing her concern or confusion for  Her sisters, Lucien and even Mor (possible novella).  These three individuals (N&E&L) are the ones she has an original relationship with and the most history, a shaky relationship that has room to be improved on. These are the wildcards, the ones who have wronged her in some way, the ones who’s stories NEED to be told. Three different people three different stories.

If you also take a look at Rhys’ POV in order, you realize he talks to or refers to 5 people usually:

Cassian, Azriel, Mor, Tamlin & Lucien

Each of these first 5 POV also directly touches on what issues exactly are pertaining to them or could be pertaining to them if that had their own book OR how they may contribute to the whole over arching plot.

If we conclude everything from those first 5 chapters ( I'm not including the rest because its too much, and they also include these 5 characters regardless) of importance this is what we have and what each book may touch on.

1st POV: involves

-Cassian - Illyrian dissent, inequality, Nesta, queen Braiylln, training female Illyrians,

-Cassian’s role

2nd POV: involves

-Azriel-shadows/powers strength, Az’s past, confusion on shadowsinger abilities, Illyrian dissent/hate, Human queens, Hyberns people, Human lands, Vassa’s situation,

-Az’z emotions (& concealing of emotions) on : Lucien, Elain, Possibly Az’s mom and her whereabouts (Rosehall).

3rd POV:

-Tamlin/Lucien-SC and Tamlin current state and down fall, alliance with Tamlin, peace/future, Lucien’s and Tamlin’s relationship, Anger/Hate/Remorse/Defeat/Hope/Empty, Feyre

-Feyre-Tamlin, Rhys’ actions and remorse

-Jeweler(Neve)-no jewels for Feyre, Neve’s background

4th POV:

-Velaris estates along the Sidra before and after hybern,

-Mor: Rhys and mor’s relationship currently, Kier/Eris/CoN

-The CoN people occupied the Velaris estates (they left Hewn City before the division of the NC)

-Kiers upcoming visit to Velaris in Spring (the hewn city’s containment and curiosity)

-Mor’s Mother/ desire to leave the NC

-Mor’s Role

Rhys’ 1st POV which included Cassian and Cassian’s following POV/Chapter was a foreshadow to ACOSF completely. Everything touched was basically addressed in ACOSF.  Rhys basically told Mor and Cassian to assume different jobs and roles (to lessen Azriel’s world load) in their chapters which came true in ACOSF.

A bond between Elain and Lucien does not mean they will have a book. If I'm honest they remind me a little of Nesyrn and Chaol who seemed like with time something could blossom between them but in reality just weren't for one another and were better off as friends. All that connects these two is an unwanted bond, a person they both have wronged yet care about (Feyre) and an incident that resulted in Elain’s trauma. Everyone thought Elain who is literally everything to Nesta, who Nesta would have sacrificed everything for, would be more involved, yet she wasn't even present in the majority of Nesta’s book, at least not as present as we thought she would be. But she was mentioned throughout ACOSF nearly in every chapter because Elain does and has impacted Nesta’s life completely.This is something I expect to happen for Elain’s book as well. Yes Lucien will appear but perhaps the purpose of his appearance would be to get closure and fill in questions left unanswered. If ACOTAR 5 is an Elriel book and not ACOTAR 6 then her book will also serve to set up for his book with Vassa.

Feyre’s relationship with the IC is fine and any issues can be resolved in the books of the others (like for example as Love interests) or in a novella.

Cassian had a POV, the second main role in ACOSF but.. ACOSF was Nesta’s story.

The same can be said for Elriel’s book as well as Vassien’s.

And yes a male can have a book like Chaol did but in my opinion it won't be Az with Gwyn being the second main POV. It will be Lucien with Vassa who has far more ties to the IC and to the over arching plot. Vassa at least has met Feyre the main character of the whole ACOTAR world.

Hypothetically speaking lets say Az does get a book and ends up with Gwyn and the plot is about the Illyrian camp. Their story would most likely be written as a novella if anything not an actual book, there is not many ties that Gwyn has so far to the whole plot at least not yet. But getting a novella still wouldn't make sense when we have characters, who are not only closer to the plot but also provide an opportunity to get info/support to win this war, like Mor who is spending time in Vallahan, and Tamlin who’s literal court is not only in shambles but unfortunately detrimental to the success of attaining peace.

I do think Gwyn is more important to this plot then most give her credit for but I dont believe that necessarily means shes due a book or a main POV especially over Vassa. And Emerie.

Vassa who has direct link to koschei the main issue, point and villain of the plot and Emerie who has a direct link to Illyria and its backward ways in everything most importantly on its stance of women and their roles.

SJM Set Elriel to be endgame because it just makes the most sense. Not only because of their connection, moments and relationship thus far but because that's what makes the most sense with this plot. There’s no spinoff in the works.

There’s no reason for Gwyn or ANYONE for that matter to be the one to defeat koschei over Vassa, no reason to have the hugest wedge between Elucien while building a bridge for Elriel, no reason to build and hint for Mor’s leave and put emphasis on Tamlin & the SC’s dire situation.

Has anyone considered if Lucien wants to even be HL ?

Lucien’s future as a highlord comes down to if he even wants to even become the Day Court’s High lord in the first place.

Lucien thought less of humans and was indifferent to them in ACOTAR yet now has found a home and friends among them. ‘

Truthfully the BOE’s work in the same way that the IC does and the Valkyerie.

Actually scratch that the Valkyerie work exactly like the BOE’s.

Yet can anyone imagine any of the Valkyrie leaving their group or be far from each other especially if one of their member’s is their possible love interest ?

They will choose each other and they will create a future where they are all together.

I don’t see lucien who has finally found stability and friends leaving the BOE’s to play high lord at Day court unless Vassa and Jurian decide to leave with him. Which seems unlikely. The only way I see that happening is if vassien truly becomes endgame resulting in Vassa going to Day court. But where does that leave Jurian.

I believe that after the Beron and AC issues are resolved, that Eris will ascend and become HL, Lady Autumn will leave to be FINALLY with Helion to be Lady Day 😍, and Lucien can enjoy his life in the mean time with his found family, stay as an emissary and possibly prepare to be Day’s HL down the line in the future.

[betawooper]

rating every demon fight in kny bc i can

non-biased, completely objective rating (more or less) of every significant demon fight in kny based on a number of factors, including:

cleverness of fighting tactics

placement in the story’s timeline

integration of character backstories

cohesive themes between characters

etc

by non-biased and objective i mean i’m not skewing the rating if a death felt fair or whatever

everything past where the anime ended will be under a read more so anime onlys who havent watched mugen train, youre safe lol

oh and i reread the manga like 20+ times (reread the latter arcs at least 40 times, haha hyperfixations am i right?) so be rest assured im not pulling these ratings out of my ass

also ill randomly be bolding certain phrases just to improve readability

anyways let’s gooooo

VS NEZUKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Nezuko. Tanjirou is fending her off by putting the axe handle in her mouth, keeping her from eating him. End Image Description.]

10/10

i like how realistic it is, because yeah tanjirou would react the way to he did with zero fighting skills against a demon

very clear why tanjirou is fighting nezuko and shows a bit of worldbuilding on how normal people react to their family becoming demons

always nice to see worldbuilding

giyuu is the perfect example of a seasoned demon slayer who’s good at his job, and he juxtaposes tanjirou very well in that aspect

my only complaint is not directly in this fight itself but how nezuko is handled throughout the story as a whole

like bro, it is literally never explained why nezuko is different from demons

could have been easily explained if maybe her family’s ghosts like slapped her hand every time she wanted to eat a person but nope

she’s just built different lol

so yeah youll see future ratings get points docked off bc nezuko unlocks some secret power with no prior explanation other than she angy >:3

VS TEMPLE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a demon. The demon has a sharp-nailed hand over his neck and there are four text bubbles around him saying “But a wound like this... will heal in no time! See? The bleeding already stopped!” End Image Description.]

10/10

may be more forgettable compared to like rui but still good

tanjirou did exceptionally well in this fight and his ability to think on his feet is once again beautifully illustrated here (trapping this dude’s head against the tree trunk with the axe)

very clever

again, establishes more demon worldbuilding regarding regeneration and still being able to move without their head

and the demons burning in the sunlight thing since nezuko wasn’t able to show that

the ending where tanjirou hesitates to kill the demon also serves to show his sympathetic nature towards demons that will last throughout the entirety of the first 60-ish chapters

:)

we’ll talk about what the hell happens to tanjirou after that

or not, it could honestly be its own post

VS HAND DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a many-handed demon. He has six hands around him, three of them covering his mouth while he chuckles, two of them grabbing his cheeks, and one holding on to the top of his head. There are two text bubbles saying “That’s how many of Urokodaki’s students I have eaten! I’ve decided to kill all of his students!” End Image Description.]

10/10

ooooh probably the first big fight against a demon in the series

oh yeah not doing the two random demons tanjirou one shot in a single blow bc eh

anyways hand demon’s pretty goddamn scary, considering the fact that this is the 5th demon or whatever tanjirou has had to face so far

very nice way to show us how much tanjirou’s innate intuition and all his other random abilities (sense of smell, hard forehead) can come together and help him decapitate this guy

i liked the mini history with urokodaki this dude had and why he had beef with our favorite mentor figure, it establishes that urokodaki was in fact a super good demon slayer and its cool to see that actually shown

i also liked that small moment of compassion tanjirou gave this demon, staying consistent with tanjirou’s established kindness

the demon’s sad tale with killing his own brother very much humanizes him when all the reader has seen up to this point is that this guy is a monster who eats people

sets up the theme of demons just being humans but being victims of circumstance that unfortunately doesn’t hold up as well in arcs past mugen train

VS SWAMP DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou fighting off three horned demons as they appear from below. There is a spiky text bubble saying “Three of them!!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not my most favorite fight but it still portrays everything alright and im not allowed to let my personal opinions mess with the rating so

i like how tanjirou mentioned the fact that he trained in conditions similar to the bog and explains how he pulled off the whirlpool form

using past experiences to aid him in the present, nice nice

tanjirou and nezuko dont quite work together very well but its yknow the first mission so ill chalk it up to simple inexperience

also the way the muzan curse thingie was hinted at here? fantastic way of showing that little bit of demon worldbuilding

...

oh god, it mentions nezuko being stronger than normal demons

ok its not a problem here per say since i can still suspend my disbelief, but later on it just becomes a glaring problem that gets worse over time

VS SUSAMARU AND YAHABA

[Image Description: Manga panels of Susamaru and Yahaba. The first one is a joyful Susamaru about to throw a temari ball. There is floating text saying “Is she one of Kibutsuji’s minions?!” The second image is an annoyed Yahaba, holding one of his eye-hands to cover himself. There are two text bubbles around him saying “My kimono got all dusty. Tch!” End Image Description.]

9/10

why dont these bitches have a good looking panel together dammit

anyways amazing entrance, the way yahaba used his hand eyes to track down tanjirou is really neat

the synergy yahaba and susamaru have is incredible, its awesome dude, they work extremely well together and it shows

tanjirou actually mixing his water breathing forms together is a god tier move and i absolutely love how he can show off his ability to think on his feet once again

establishing how yushiro’s bda works early on is really well done

establishing tamayo as a fugitive this early on is also super well done

not to get into spoiler territory but both these things pay off

how tamayo ended up defeating susamaru is literally awesome in so many ways

shows off both how smart she is by exploiting the muzan curse

and speaking of the muzan curse, we actually get to see what happens to demons who even say his name, back when it was hinted with the swamp demon

tamayo is amazing dude, and we get some real evidence of the horrible suffering demons go through if they even accidentally attempt to betray muzan :D

...

now heres what keeps this fight from being perfect

nezuko somehow grew stronger against susamaru’s temari

with no explanation

which could have been easily explained if tamayo was like “oh yeah the drug also boosts a demon’s strength temporarily”

but nope

god, i just dont like how gotouge handles nezuko’s power boosts throughout the series bc like i said before

no explanation is given anywhere

this is a huge issue, this isnt a pokemon game, you cant just kill demons and get exp at the end of every battle, level up, get some sweet stat bonuses and move on

(actually if gotouge established that this is how nezuko grew in power, than all my complaints about this would be gone, im not even joking)

anyways i get that nezuko is supposed to be “special” but thats too vague of a descriptor

how the hell is she special? ya gotta be more specific and stick with that explanation or that suspension of disbelief is going to disappear

VS TONGUE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a four-eyed demon with horns and a long tongue. He is crawling in an awkward position, one foot in front of his tilted head. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Heh, heh! I’ll slurpy slurp your brains out through you ear!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not much to say, showcases zenitsu’s true abilities really well

nicely done

VS HORNED DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a big, single-horned demon. There are three text bubbles saying “You dodged! You’re awfully lively for a human! It’ll be a treat to carve away your flesh!” End Image Description.]

10/10

would have ignored this fight if not for the fact we havent seen inosuke fight before

it definitely shows how very fast-paced and wild inosuke is

no complaints here lol

VS KYOGAI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kyogai, a demon with tsuzumi drums attached to his shoulders. There are four text bubbles around him saying “Why?! Why does everyone keep sneaking through my house? It’s so aggravating. It’s my prey! It’s my prey! Found in my territory!” End Image Description.]

10/10

establishes marechi blood pretty early on, once again expanding the worldbuilding of kny which is always cool

interesting terrain where it’s always shifting, tanjirou once again proves his ability to adapt really quickly by altering one of his forms to work with the turning room

(man, i wish the form mixing/form modification thing carried on throughout the rest of the story, but it really didnt which is just a shame)

the injuries tanjirou had prior to this mission actually affecting him was a nice touch

oh yeah, kyogai gives us more worldbuilding (which is always nice) regarding the 12 kizuki, and the aspect of him being cast out due to being weak shows a lot about muzan’s indifference towards his own demons if they arent strong

his backstory being a failed writer once again humanizes kyogai as a former human being and not just a monster

tanjirou shows his sympathy and compassion again by not stepping on his written work and complimenting his bda

well, tbh tanjirou’s actions kinda came out of nowhere but its a very minor thing and not enough to dock a point off, like it didnt affect the outcome of the fight that much if at all

(so if you see future battles where points are docked off for things not logically making sense, its bc whatever nonsensical concepts were integrated into the fight actually turned the tide of the battle and thats a big no-no)

very good fight and if you remember how kinda bad tanjirou was at accurately slicing the swamp demon, you can see that he’s already improved leaps and bounds

im so proud of him

VS MOTHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and the Mother Spider Demon. There is a light shining down from the top right on to the demon as Tanjirou slices her head off, rain following in his wake. There is floating text saying “Water Breathing: Fifth Form - Blessed Rain After the Drought!” around them. End Image Description.]

10/10

i mean does anyone disagree?

all the demon slayers getting their necks snapped by her threads was pretty horrific, probably more horrifying than anything else we have seen in the entire series if im gonna be honest

the death scene is probably the most beautiful one in the series

it reveals a water breathing form that we havent seen before thats the 5th form

as far as i know, no other breathing style has this merciful sword stroke so it shows a lot about the original water breather and what they might have been like

but enough about them, really the focus is on tanjirou bc this is like the best example by far of how kind and sympathetic he is to demons

dunno what else to say, its perfect

VS SON SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Agatsuma Zenitsu performing Thunder Breathing 1st Form: Sixfold on a spider-like demon. Zenitsu is crashing through the roof of a shed, and a zig-zag path is left behind. There are sound effects all over the panel, saying “Bam!” in large font. End Image Description.]

10/10

chose a picture without a huge spider on it bc i would like to not scare myself half to death

anyways extremely amazing fight, showcases zenitsu’s immense talent and skill, adapting the 1st form of thunder breathing to be a more versatile move

theres a moment where his backstory with kuwajima and kaigaku were revealed and his hidden insecurities are out in the open which is super nice and further develops a character weve only considered as comedic relief until now

the anime made the backstory scenes and the killing scene so much cooler

while there is no thematic connection between zenitsu and the demon, it really isnt necessary to keep this fight interesting

anyways another pretty much perfect fight

VS FATHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Inosuke slashing at the Father Spider Demon. The demon has blocked Tanjirou’s sword with his arm, and Inosuke is slamming both his blades down on the demon’s other hand. End Image Description.]

10/10

again, not my most favorite fight but it does everything right

i do have to say it was excellent how gotouge hyped up the father spider demon to be the big bad, only just so the plot twist later takes the readers by surprise

nicely done

VS DAUGHTER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kochou Shinobu and the Daughter Spider Demon. Shinobu’s back is seen and her haori looks like a butterfly’s wings keeping her afloat as she holds her stinger blade out to the side. The demon looks surprised as blood gushes from her side, arm, shoulder, chest, neck, and forehead. There is floating text on the panel, saying “Insect Breathing - Butterfly Dance - Caprice!” End Image Description.]

10/10

first time weve seen shinobu and her fighting style

what i love most about this is how much it shows her true character, appearing as a carefree and naive individual so she seems underwhelming

then bam, reveals exactly how dangerous and uncaring she is of demons, listing out the specific ways she would torture the daughter spider demon in grotesque detail

her using poison to take demons by surprise is also super clever and brings back the worldbuilding established way earlier about wisteria being poisonous to demons

amazing integration of that concept

anyways this fight really encapsulates who shinobu is as a character and thats why it gets a perfect score

VS RUI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Rui holding his hand out directly towards the viewer. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Give me your sister. If you hand her over quietly, I’ll spare your life.” End Image Description.]

8/10

not only is it a super scary fight but there is a deeper conflict between rui and tanjirou, what it means to be family

they are opposites in the sense that while tanjirou believes love is what makes a family, rui’s subconscious desperation for an unbreakable bond drives him to use fear to keep his “family” together

excellent juxtaposition of their values, and this is only further emphasized when rui expresses out loud what he was going to do to nezuko

i also like the symbolism regarding rui’s bda, how he uses threads or the “familial” bonds to cut up his fake family with it if they act out of turn or annoy him

super neat detail

alright what i dont like about this fight is nezuko (again)

mostly her unlocking her bda to turn the tide of the battle bc her mom was like “yo, wake up, your brother is going to be killed”

feels... forced ig

her bda in general is confusing and not consistent

man, i wish i could make a stronger argument for this but i do believe the problem stems from the fact that we dont ever know what nezuko is thinking, and what she thinks of tanjirou specifically

if she even cares for him as a sibling or if shes only going along with what her family is saying to her, things like that which would have been fixed if gotouge actually gave her thoughts some screen time

so the action feels pretty shallow

im also conflicted over tanjirou somehow remembering how dance of the fire god works

on one hand, hes using past information and applying it in the current setting so he doesnt die, which is understandable

but on the other hand, this was a teeny bit random?

i think what could have fixed this is if there was a scene in the beginning of the series where tanjirou was performing it himself, like practicing before he actually had to do it for new years

so that when the rui fight rolls around, it would have felt less like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

but yeah

overall super good fight, giyuu ending up having to kill rui instead of tanjirou was super good in that tanjirou didnt become a pillar this early in the series and to show how strong giyuu is

there are some odd bits regarding the ultimate “beheading” of rui using nezuko and tanjirous supposed bonds but it doesnt kill the fight entirely so it deserves its pretty high score

***under read more is manga-only fights so beware***

VS ENMU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Enmu holding his hand out directly at the viewer, with a mouth on the back of it. There is floating text to the top right of Enmu that says “Whispers of Forced Unconscious Hypnosis!” End Image Description.]

9/10

id say this fight is definitely overshadowed by the dream stuff prior to this but its pretty good in its own right

enmu fusing with the train was kinda confusing, like when was it established that demons could fuse with objects?

this worldbuilding element doesnt even appear again so yeah thats why it loses a point

how the kmbk gang end up defeating enmu is pretty sweet though, tanjirou using dance of the fire god to sever the neck bone was really nice and shows that him using the breathing style in the rui fight wasnt a one time thing

while kyojuro’s role was smaller in this part, the next part makes up for it so i cant complain

anyways ye, almost perfect score but its pretty good

VS AKAZA (MUGEN TRAIN)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza holding his hand out to the viewer’s left. There is a text bubble saying “Why don’t you become a demon?” End Image Description.]

10/10

this encounter is literally amazing okay?

after the crew kills the big bad, it seems like everything is fine

but plot twist, upper moon 3 appears out of nowhere

this is the first time the reader has seen an upper moon, let alone the 3rd/4th strongest demon in existence and the way gotouge handled this twist is fucking amazing

kyojuro’s death scene really shows just how human even the strongest pillars are against demons with incredible power

its just

amazing

VS OBI DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panels of the obi-like demon. The first image shows the obi hung in the air and strung over each other like decorations, with women-shaped patterns in its folds. The second image is Hashibira Inosuke fighting the Obi demon which now has lips and eyes. There is floating text in that panel saying “Breath of the Beast: Sixth Fang - Jagged Gnaw!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

on to red light district

this fight is admittedly super forgettable and not very interesting at least compared to the main fight with daki and gyutaro

but it wraps up the sub plot of the women and uzui’s wives going missing so it gets a perfect score for not messing that up

oh and it establishes the stretchy neck thing daki has going on which is very good

VS DAKI AND GYUTARO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Daki and Gyutaro. Daki is sitting on Gyutaro’s shoulders. There is a text bubble on the top right that says “The two of us are one, after all.” as well as floating text that reads “The power of the irregular siblings...!? Next issue lead color and the fight reaches its climax!!” End Image Description.]

8/10

love how this battle challenges tanjirou’s sympathy and kindness towards demons, just simply bc daki and gyutaro are horrible people

(too bad nothing came of this, which ill explain in the hantengu portion)

daki and gyutaro are very good villains and kept this fight super interesting from start to finish

uzui acting as a foil to gyutaro is nicely integrated and properly shown with how jealous gyutaro gets over seeing uzui’s perfect form and stature

tanjirou not only mixes forms but mixes breathing styles as well, which is so fucking awesome

(too bad it was only used like once throughout the entire series, its quite unfortunate)

the super high tension right after inosuke gets stabbed and tanjirou wakes up was expertly portrayed and handled, it felt like the kmbk gang and uzui were actually going to lose

super awesome

the tanjirou and gyutaro parallels are expertly portrayed, with how gyutaro taunts tanjirou over failing to protect his little sister, and the more visual thing where tanjirou imagined his own neck underneath his blade, that was super duper nice

the ending is extremely tense and emotionally gripping, gotouge did a really good job with that artistically too

the demon mark acquisition scene was surprisingly not frustrating, considering that it wasnt really explained prior to the battle

i do think it has to do with how it was explained later just exactly how they worked so its not just some random thing gotouge pulled out of their ass

so pretty good

/

what i dont like is nezuko and her full power demon form

first of all where the fuck did that come from? she just got angry and suddenly shes as powerful as an upper moon

like

how?

that doesnt make sense???

her extremely quick regeneration makes no sense

her ability to manipulate her blood’s properties makes no sense

and it doesnt even appear again so what was the point of that existing

none of this is even explained later which annoys me

that one part where tanjirou sings a lullaby to her to calm her down was alright ig but nezuko in this fight makes me extremely irritated and frustrated

just ugh

VS HANTENGU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Hantengu opening a shoji door. He is crawling inside, his hand in a gnarled, unnatural position. There is a text bubble saying “Eeeeeeek.” End Image Description.]

1/10

swordsmith village

this fight can go fuck itself /j

no but seriously it has so many problems that it would be shorter to name its redeeming qualities (which ill do later)

first off, the nezuko full power form thing again

i hate it so much with a passion

again, where did her ability to regenerate instantly even come from???? this is never explained, ever

and why did she cut herself on tanjirou’s sword anyway

did she somehow know that it was going to turn red if she burned it?

gotouge what the fuck, there is literally no reason why nezuko would do that and we cant even read her mind to see her thought process

gotouge hates nezuko, i swear

/

remember when i said uzui is meant to be a foil to gyutaro in the rld fight? its pretty obvious that those two are opposites, it was nicely done

... what the hell does mitsuri’s insecurities about strength have to do with whatever the fuck hantengu has going on (which is basically nothing)?

so no meaningful connection between mitsuri and hantengu

theres no meaningful connection between tanjirou and hantengu other than tanjirou getting pissed off for like the second time

also tanjirou’s thing with being kind and sympathetic to demons was entirely dropped at this point

but instead of it leading up to a corruption arc of some sorts, it just doesnt

like honestly if something actually came of that anger he exhibited in this arc and from red light district from this point forward story-wise, i would have counted this as an amazing writing decision

but it literally doesnt so who cares

(god, i really start to hate what happened to his character after this )

and genya’s revealed motivation also doesnt fit at all with hantengu’s thing, he’s not a foil, not a parallel, nothing, there is nothing

/

tanjirou being the catharsis for development for mitsuri and muichirou, who he has only talked to like twice

theres definitely a better way to handle those two’s developments without his help

like gotouge, you have a big cast of characters, use them lol

/

i want to kick hantengu in the face for being boring as fuck (at least his clones have cool looking weapons)

doesnt even have a proper backstory, just a single spread of him being blamed for shit as a human

like... thats it? this is upper moon 4 what the hell

/

theres no clever form mixing here at all (regarding tanjirou) which probably would have helped with foreshadowing the 13th form for dance of the fire god/sun breathing better

also gotouge established that as tanjirou’s thing and now he doesnt do that stuff anymore which sucks

/

oh hey remember when tanjirou actually learned how to do zenitsu’s speed boost thing?

if you didnt, i dont blame you bc it literally doesnt appear again, ever

you could argue that he adapted it into his “waltz flash” technique or whatever the fuck that is but the way it was integrated into this fight was like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

which is just a shame bc its meant to be representative of how tanjirou and zenitsu are good pals but the way it was utilized is forgettable as hell

/

i absolutely loathe the crimson blade concept as a whole and im mentioning this now bc its going to come into play why future instances where this goddamn thing comes up again causes points to be lost

its inconsistent as fuck ill tell you that

/

at least some yoriichi stuff appeared here and not shoved into the final battle with everything else

so the yoriichi stuff later didnt come out of absolute nowhere

genya and mitsuri’s unique fighting styles expand the kny worldbuilding just a little more which is always nice

tanjirou got a cool sword out of this which would have been cooler if him and yoriichi had a deeper connection that was actually explored

but we didnt get shit so whatever

other people getting demon marks being revealed here is also okay so that again, the final battle isnt filled with absolutely everyone getting their marks at once

demon marks have their own slew of problems but its not as bad as the fucking crimson sword shit

god i hate the crimson sword shit

...

dude this section needs a tldr, even i cant sit and read through my shit

TL;DR - this fight sucks and crimson swords are bullshit (more on this later)

VS GYOKKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Tokitou Muichirou and Gyokko. Muichirou is looking to the left while Gyokko is looking to the right, both with their backs to each other. There are mist clouds billowing in the foreground and background, as well as a slash mark going across Gyokko’s neck. End Image Description.]

7/10

this fight suffers from the same lack of cohesive themes through characters like the hantengu battle bc the antagonist is given nothing

but its better

we havent actually seen mui fight before so theres no consistencies that the reader has to keep track of for now

and there arent like 10 characters in the fight so this fight gets a lot of points just for being a lot more coherent

i do like that this fight shows just how good mui is that he can defeat an upper moon by himself

mui’s backstory is neat

gyokko’s bda is very interesting too

... thats pretty much it lol

ye, anyways not the best fight but not the worst fight either

VS KAIGAKU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kaigaku holding the hilt of his blade with one hand. There is two text bubbles around him, saying “...As usual, you’re still shabby. It’s been a while, Zenitsu.” End Image Description.]

9/10

alright on to final battle arc

theres some good fights and then some really sucky ones, but this one was pretty incredible and very emotionally charged

theres a clear reason why zenitsu and kaigaku are battling each other (kai betrayed the corps and inadvertantly caused the only parental figure in zenitsu’s life to die, and zenitsu is rightfully pissed off about that)

the visual yin-yang symbolism is awesome too

zenitsu winning due to using the 7th form he created himself (which i have reason to believe was inspired by tanjirou) was the perfect ending to the fight, really couldnt ask for anything better and is a perfect example of how much of an effect tanjirou has had on zenitsu

the 7th form is what tanjirou’s waltz flash should have been lol

/

what keeps this fight from being absolutely perfect is lack of development prior to this conflict

(since the final battle arc is basically a culmination of all the hinted developments through the series, im going to actually factor in how much and how well these conflicts were foreshadowed)

anyways if we had actually seen zenitsu, kaigaku, and kuwajima actually interacting with each other and showing how they were essentially a family (not just through flashbacks), it would have made zenitsu placing the responsibility of killing kai onto himself a lot more tragic

but like, apart from brief flashbacks where zenitsu actually met kaigaku off screen and that one thing all the way back in natagumo where both kuwajima and kai were introduced, thats pretty much it in terms of thunder family development

so yeah its underdeveloped for sure

also one random thought, i personally think zenitsu should have gotten his demon mark in this fight, it would have been cool to see

VS AKAZA (INFINITY FORTRESS)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza’s face. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Okay, let’s get started. It’s time for the feast.” There is also floating text saying “The inspection of the strong has begun...” as well as a simple box on the lower left, denoting its the end of chapter 147. End Image Description.]

6/10

oh god please dont hate me for this

ill list the good things first how about that

this conflict was foreshadowed perfectly in mugen train, you bet the readers were expecting a tanjirou vs akaza battle after the death of kyojuro and gotouge delivered

akaza’s power is shown extremely well with how many close calls tanjirou and giyuu had while fighting him

akaza eventually giving up on his own volition was really nice and fit into the context of the battle very very well, like sure tanjirou and giyuu wouldnt understand why he gave up but us readers do know

akaza is a really good character and a good villain

/

now notice how im only mentioning akaza and not giyuu or tanjirou in the good aspects

bc those two are eh

no form mixing at all from either tanjirou and giyuu

i know i said form mixing was kind of tanjirou’s thing but you’d think giyuu would have gotten more creative with his moves once akaza said that he was getting predictable

(well he said he “ran out of water breathing forms” but same thing)

so its kinda bland lol

speaking of giyuu, his whole thing with his insecurities of being weak wasnt handled well (it was sort of immediately brushed off in pillar training, and its unclear what part of his character arc he was in)

like sure him announcing that he’s going to protect tanjirou is cool but it feels like he was haphazardly dropped into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

isnt he supposed to be both their foils? that wasnt really explored that well in this fight and theres no deep meaning behind him even being here just analyzing what he did in it

he could have been handled better or even given more focus is what im saying

the anatta state came out of nowhere, im sorry okay? just bc inosuke like barely hinted at not being able to sense grandma hisa bc she had no fighting spirit and tanjurou magically taught his son how to achieve this state doesnt mean it was properly integrated into the fight

if the anatta state was actually explored prior to this battle, i would have given it a pass but it just feels like a cheap and poorly developed trick to get around akaza’s technique development (which is overpowered as fuck might i add)

gotouge should have just given akaza a plausible weakness to his technique development instead, especially since they dont use or even mention the anatta state after this

the transparent world shit makes no sense but ill elaborate on that in the koku battle analysis

oh and this thing doesnt affect the score but why wasnt there a “yoriichi visage overlapping” moment when tanjirou was fighting akaza? hes an upper moon, he should have gotten those visions but he didnt

for some reason

anyways this battle was alright and has good set up but the middle and end parts didnt hold up as well bc random concepts were thrown at us without prior explanation or development

VS DOUMA

[Image Description: Manga panel of Douma licking Shinobu’s butterfly pin. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Anyway, tonight is a good night. Such fine feasts keep showing up one after another.” End Image Description.]

9/10

damn, such an amazing fight

the build up to this was properly foreshadowed

shinobu finally showing her true anger after hiding it for so long is amazing

douma is a super interesting character and fantastic villain

shinobu showing off her true power and determination against douma was sooooo nice

shinobu’s poisonous body plan is so clever and so interesting

if i was to rate the shinobu part of the fight alone, it would have gotten a 10/10 no question

the reason why its knocked down a point is because of the kanao and inosuke part

dont get me wrong, the way kanao is able to hold her own against douma by herself is pretty cool, how shes meant to parallel douma with their similar struggles surrounding human emotions and demonstrate how she has grown as a person, how she regains the ability to cry

that shit is cool, inosuke also getting in touch with his emotions after learning what happened to his mom was super neat as well

however

bc this battle takes place in the final arc with everything else, there wasnt proper build up regarding many things, the kotoha reveal especially

so inosuke feels kinda forced into the kanao shinobu and douma conflict, similar to how giyuu felt forced into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

its quite unfortunate bc if the kotoha stuff was actually explored prior to the confrontation, this “forced” feeling would have disappeared

i know some people have suggested that the douma fight should have just been its own arc, and i very much agree, it would have certainly helped fix this problem regarding inosuke and kotoha

last random thought, i wish shinobu, kanao, and inosuke got their demon marks

VS KOKUSHIBOU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kokushibou looking directly at the viewer, holding the hilt of his blade as if he’s going to pull it out. There are text boxes around him saying “This... is Upper Moon One... He’s so different compared to the other Upper Moons. He looks so dignified and majestic.” The text boxes are narrated by Tokitou Muichirou. End Image Description.]

5/10

this fight is... mediocre

at least theres a more tangible connection between muichirou and kokushibou

even though that was handled kinda poorly

tbh there really was no point to revealing that mui is koku’s descendant like at all, it just had no significant bearing to the plot of the fight

sanemi’s backstory being here is... okay ig?

idk the whole shinazugawa conflict has fundamental problems that i just cant think of any other place to put it without changing the entirety of canon

the marechi blood concept coming back was nice though

genya is there

him getting his bda was cool and helped turn the tide of the battle in a satisfying way (before kicking the bucket but thats not the focus here)

gyomei is a hollow husk of a character who barely got anything at all

but his fighting style is extremely cool and conveys his immense power very well

oh and him and sanemi are amazing at working together, like better than giyuu and tanjirou, and better than kanao and inosuke

theyre that good yet pretty much nobody acknowledges it which is sad

koku himself is pretty interesting and pretty tragic, very nice villain

but everyone together?

gonna be honest but this is such a random collection of characters, there was basically no foreshadowing that these four were going to go up again kokushibou, they are not that connected very well

i know there was this one post that focused on the theme of family that was common in all 5 characters in the fight but its just not enough

it would have been more cohesive if gotouge emphasized gyomei, mui, sanemi, and genya being like different aspects of yoriichi coming together to kill kokushibou hundreds of years after yoriichi failed to kill him

lmao its not like the 4 of them defeated koku with the power of family or friendship, they just smacked him over and over with a flail, shot him with magical bullets, and stabbed a crimson sword into his abdomen

wouldnt have been too hard to switch over to koku’s pov and go “damn these bitches are like my stupid brother”

...

speaking of crimson swords

i fucking hate the crimson sword concept oh my god can i complain about it now? im gonna complain about it now

unlike demon marks, the crimson blades werent even given any proper conditions, you just hold the stupid thing hard enough and it somehow imbues it with magical properties with no logic behind those properties

what part of crimson swords completely destroys a demon’s body in an instant? even muzan didnt go through that process when he was almost killed by yoriichi so where in the goddamn fuck did it come from

it could be explained bc the sword was left in the same spot for a long time but this tactic doesnt even appear again in a meaningful way (didnt kill muzan when tanjirou and giyuu held the sword together) so what the fuck was the point of having this even exist

its so underdeveloped and confusing and i hate it

the transparent world stuff is also confusing as shit and its pretty much never explained how they work aside from the vague “close your mind” advice, like why did it exist, it did nothing to help the present day demon slayers

its just so... poorly integrated

yeah anyways this is around the same rating as the akaza fight but a little worse bc there wasnt that strong set up beforehand

VS KOKUSHIBOU (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panel of a bag getting ripped open, pieces of a wooden flute tumbling out. End Image Description.]

10/10

easily 10/10

this fight shows the tragedy of kokushibou giving in to his envy and hatred, when yoriichi cries over seeing his own family commit terrible attrocities against the people he wanted to protect

and yoriichi dies, now carrying the fact that he couldnt even save his own brother from the influence of muzan on his conscious forever

what a sad ending for yoriichi

and after koku angrily slashes apart yoriichi’s corpse, having him find and keep the flute he gave to him when they were kids to the present day gives him a small shred of humanity in the midst of his monstrous anger

VS NAKIME

[Image Description: Manga panels of Nakime. The first one shows a low quality version of her playing her biwa. The second one is a close up of her eye. There are spiky text bubbles saying “It’s Upper Rank... 4!” End Image Description.]

0/10

no nakime backstory

not even a goddamn fight

forgettable

useless

VS MUZAN

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kibutsuji Muzan in his white-haired, mouth-covered form. There are text bubbles around him saying “Not a single one was of use to me. I will crush the demon hunters tonight. I’ll massacre them all right now.” End Image Description.]

1/10

._.

i have many complaints but ill try my best to not make this another hantengu rant section lol

first off, obanai deserved better

im serious, this poor dude was forgotten until pretty much the end when we finally get a backstory out of him

and then he died

what a waste of a potentially amazing character

mitsuri getting taken out early was ehhh

pretty sure someone else made a post about her supposedly being extremely strong but she was nerfed in this battle which i agree with

literally none of the pillars work together very well, like remember how i praised sanemi and gyomei for being super coordinated? lmao that doesnt exist anymore

you could say this is caused by desperation though and you wouldnt be wrong, its just boring to sit through

that causes issues bc this now basically requires the crimson sword and transparent world concepts to be there to spice things up

but in this fight, they do nothing in the long run (except for tanjirou using the crimson sword at the very very end)

youve already heard me talk about why those two things are super shittily integrated and i cant be bothered repeating myself so moving on

kanao, inosuke, and zenitsu

they... exist? they didnt do much tbh, which i guess is the point but like, now its boring again

nezuko could have been used as a potential way to raise the stakes and make things interesting again (like “ah shit, muzan might actually be unkillable if he gets nezuko but its okay bc shes not here- oh fuck shes here this is not good”)

but nothing came of her running off except confirmation that she became human again so whatever

uzui and shinjuro are useless, why werent they at the fight?

like they could have followed nezuko and contributed to the battle even a little but they just didnt and now theres literally no point to them appearing in this arc at all

wasted potential

tanjirou

i wish him going absolutely apeshit had actual substance behind it, like it being a part of his character arc or something

i remember having this one theory that he had a corruption arc (due to dropping his kindness thing towards demons) and i wanted this to be true so badly

but it doesnt exist

not with how the series ended

god

the only thing that saves this fight from being complete trash is tamayo’s poison thing being amazingly executed

and the part where everyone got blasted away, losing limbs and shit, that made things a little more interesting again

but thats it

VS MUZAN (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kibutsuji Muzan, Tamayo, and Tsugikuni Yoriichi. The first one has Muzan and Tamayo, while the second one has Yoriichi pulling out his sword. There are text boxes saying “And the moment I met him, I understood that I was born into this world to defeat this man.” End Image Description.]

9/10

finally something good again

while short, that’s just the nature of all of yoriichi’s battles with demons

anyways pretty nice, theres a clear reason why this battle exists (shows the scenario that made the original breather get super close to defeating muzan in detail)

adding tamayo here was a nice touch

my only complaint is that it seemed extremely coincidental that yoriichi somehow developed a breathing style specifically countering muzan’s multiple organs without even knowing prior that he had all those brains and hearts floating around freely in his body

like thats kind of ridiculous, even for yoriichi whos supposed to be “blessed by the gods”

could just be me though

VS TANJIROU

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kamado Tanjirou in his demon form. The first image has his eyes closed. The second image has his eyes opened and the tumor on his face almost completely faded. There are text boxes around him saying “You will destroy the demon hunters in my stead.” End Image Description.]

1/10

hoo boy

ok first off, demon tanjirou lasted for 2 chapters

thats it

2 chapters

so thats already a problem

i am aware its meant to parallel the beginning of the series but also its ridiculous how completely vague and rushed this entire thing was

nezuko doesnt do shit through not just this battle but this entire arc which i already explained so not gonna go into it further

kanao magically having a demon cure on her made very little sense

the scene where tanjirou leaves muzan in purgatory is pretty but if you look at it in the context of everything else, its ambiguous and confusing

(if someone could explain it and see how it connects to the original theme of “demons just being victims of circumstance,” i would love to hear it)

/

actually you know what makes me so mad about this “fight” as a whole? there was so much potential to do more with this concept

and im not talking about him escaping and nezuko becoming a demon slayer roleswap au (even though its a pretty cool concept)

him becoming a demon could have been a metaphor for his lost kindness and sympathy towards demons halfway through the series

it could have been a punishment for letting his anger towards muzan cloud his judgement

it could have symbolized literally anything about him losing his humanity as he got stronger

but those three things are just scenarios from my head, they dont exist in this series just based off of what weve seen from these two chapters

its disappointing

the only thing keeping this from getting a 0 is the one part where inosuke couldnt chop off tanjirou’s head bc he cared about him too much

that at least shows inosuke had grown as a character

everything else is just meaningless and convoluted garbage and “convoluted” is not what you should be aiming for if this is supposed to be the ending of your series

IN SUMMARY

early kny is very good, later kny is questionable and the ending is just a mess of wasted potential and disappointment

i get why gotouge had to have the transparent world ability, crimson blade ability, and the demon marks appear before they all appeared on yoriichi but theyre all just so underdeveloped and terribly handled in the battles they are used, it makes me want to kick a wall

like lmao, i could literally think of so many ways they could have been properly integrated, hell, im even writing a whole goddamn rewrite using my ideas for these three things (link to that is in my pinned)

just, god

if you want to debate over these ratings, my ask box is open ig? idk

[sukausotsuki]

Firstly, I wanna say my English is bad. so if you find many mistakes, please correct me.

I have this idea stuck on my brain :

two years which Shinichi need to finally got his normal body back and finally the organization already dead.

he is finally come back to Ran and finally, they are dating.

after gained his normal body, Shinichi told Ran about everything, except about Haibara who was the one made APTX 4869. in the end, Ran never knows Haibara also shrunk and a scientists.

as time passed, day after day, week after week, Ran became suspicious with Shinichi and Haibara relationship because the way they talk didn't seem like a stranger to stranger. somehow it reminds her the way how Conan and Ai-chan talk. but Ran just shrugged it off.

one day when class has ended (they are in college now) Ran and Shinichi walk together and she always listen Shinichi rambling about Ai-chan who always torturing, roasting him, and sometimes don't want to help him with his cases. at first Ran just thought it was normal. but, as time passed, Ran found out that everytime they were walk together, there will always Haibara in their conversation. even though, it most about Shinichi frustration to Haibara that didn't want to cooperate with him.

when Ran, Shinichi and Sonoko hangout together in cafe, they were accidentally saw detective kids hangout together. Sonoko said something like; "hey look! there are detective kids. oh my, I feel pity to Ai-chan. she looks like a single parent now. that bespectacled brat just decided to go and left her. he is still kid but already act like an ass." yes, Sonoko doesn't know the story behind missing Shinichi Kudo.

Ran glance to Shinichi to see what face he made and when she about to ask why, Shinichi already ask Sonoko with irritated and confused face. Sonoko said like : "isn't it obvious? they were always act like an adult and took care those brats. not just like adults, but parents figure to them. sometimes I saw Ai-chan and that bespectacled brat gave them—I don't know? such as advice? heck! they were just children and told advice to children? I can't believe it! and there were times I saw Ai-chan scold that brat to take care those children. wow, what a married couple for young ages!"

Ran finally, finally realized. Conan and Ai-chan were look like parents figure to detective kids. and Ran could conclude that Ai-chan not really a kid. She isn't just normal kid who has genius brain like Shinichi said everytime Ran asked Shinichi how old Ai-chan truly was because that little girl always act indifferent, calm, and not-so-kid-like.

Ran didn't talk about what she found to Shinichi but she is more aware with Shinichi and Haibara talk.

so, the jealousy feel became clear to Ran. and she is afraid that Shinichi might leave her, again. at first Ran thought she shouldn't feel that way to Ai-chan because she just a little girl. a junior high school girl. but now, the possibility Shinichi leave her for someone else might happen.

and something comes up to her mind. Ran also found out that Shinichi bought Ai-chan branded things like Fusae bag, Prada, and everything as a deal for their negotiation. those were simple things that almost she didn't look.

and when Haibara decide to leave Japan and goes to London, Ran heard Shinichi and Haibara had serious talk at Prof. Agasa house. Ran didn't mean to eavesdrop, she just accidentally heard their talk about; "You should have that pill too!" or "Your home is here, why would you go somewhere else?" or "Just stay here. Everyone doesn't want you go." or "You should back to your old body too."

and it click everything to Ran.

Haibara left. Shinichi not seem Shinichi anymore. they relationship became... dull. Ran cried. every love words from Shinichi feel empty. Ran couldn't feel emotion in it.

Shinichi often found himself waiting for Haibara news or her condition.

Shinichi often found himself think about Haibara when he passed by branded store.

Shinichi often found himself think about what present should he gave to that evil-eyes-yawny-girl because that girl really hard to please.

Shinichi often found himself think about Haibara when everyone (ex; Ran, Sonoko, Ayumi, Genta, Mitsuhiko, Prof. Agasa, his parents, even Hattori) found out something that suit for Haibara and think it will cute for her while for him, Haibara never a cute girl in the first place. so how could everyone think she is cute?! Shinichi never know.

Shinichi often found himself waiting for her call just to argue and roasting each other (well, Haibara was the one who always roasted him). and when the call ended, Shinichi felt more relieved than he thought.

Shinichi often found himself feel there is something not enough, less, wrong everytime he tried to close some cases and need help, but Haibara didn't there. Haibara no longer here.

Shinichi never knows how often he found himself think about a certain scientist, except people around him (including Ran).

Shinichi never knows how he hate himself for his inability to protect her when she was dying at another country that he couldn't reach and just remembered that he promised her to protect her.

Shinichi worried sick to know her condition and wanted so bad to go after her, but unfortunately he also made a promise to not go after her. and Shinichi more hate himself.

his relationship with Ran ended bad. he made her cry for thousands times.

Shinichi dissapoint Ran, for thousands times.

for the first time, Shinichi didn't know how to make his-think-love-of-his-life happy, again.

for the first time, Shinichi think about other girl to how to make that girl stay here instead go somewhere he couldn't reach.

for the first time, Shinichi realized. he loves Ai Haibara (or rather Shiho Miyano now) when finally, finally, after feels like centuries to him, he saw that girl. in front of him. in her old body. her strawberry blonde hair reach her shoulder and it made her look stunning. and more importantly, she wore branded things he gave.

took Shinichi ten years to realize everything. if Sonoko never said something like parents figure about Ai Haibara and Conan Edogawa maybe he still believe that he loved Ran.

and Ran discover about something. Shinichi and her were not wife-husband couple which always Sonoko said to them. it was Conan and Ai or Shinichi and Shiho now. Sonoko wrong about that, huh.

Ran discover about something. She learnt that all is fair in love and war. Ran learnt how to accept that she couldn't end up with her childhood friend. Ran learnt no matter how long have you been with him, no matter how much you know about him, it won't always end up with him.

Sonoko once said Shinichi and her look like a couple that won't separated even earth and sky broke down. no one can break their fated strings. but, Sonoko wrong. yes, she is wrong in the first place. because they don't have fated strings in the first place. it ain't for her and Shinichi, the red strings. the red strings for Shinichi and Shiho, the time Shinichi began swallow APTX 4869.

SSKSJSJSJSJ I'M SORRY. I'M SO SAD BECAUSE IT HURT ME SO SO BAD EVEN ALREADY KNOW SHINICHI WON'T END UP WITH SHIHO IN THE FIRST PLACE, BUT OH GOD! JUST PLASE! MAKE A PLOT TWIST AOYAMA-SENSEI 😭 im so dying 😭 actually i really want to make this as a fanfic, but seriously my grammar really bad. im not confident :(

but i just want have a thought where Shinichi need Shiho in his life. Shinichi still love Ran, but not in romantic way. CoAi and ShinShi shippers let's cry together. I don't wanna cry alone!!! 😡😭

and well... I love the thought Shiho/Ai has long hair. idk... she looks stunning with her long hair. I can't help it. I really want to see Shiho/Ai in long curly hair hahahaha.

[yandere-mha-blog]

Chapter 10: Man of my word

Words: 2277

The next weeks were the same old same old. Go out with Hawks, find someone to stop, and try to gain what information you could on the HPSC. ONe thing that did catch your interest one day was seeing the U.a Sports festival. You looked over Ta Hawks who was snoring, so you shook his shoulder

“Hawks wake up.” you said

“HUH WHAT WHAT” Hawks said taking a feather off his wings “did someone break in!?”

“No, look, the sports festival is on.” you said

“You mean that weird propaganda the school does each year to show off ‘how cool’ they are.” Hawks said

“Yup that one.” you said “Wasn't there an attack on a bunch of first year students a few ago?”

“Sure was, still go on like everything is the same, blah blha.” Hawks said waving his hand then laying back down to continue his little nap, you tugged on his wig

“Hey wake up, this could be good information.” you said scurrying around for a notebook and pen

“Busy busy little (name), always wanting to learn something new.” Hawks said pointing to a spot where there a blank notebook and pen, you reptivily clicked the pen, still your joyful face soon turned into horror as you saw a giant robot fall on top of a couple of students, Hawks also looked equally as shocked as the two students popped out from underneath them unharmed. You and hawks both gave each other a look of ‘is this real’.

“So much for the safety of their students.” hawks said, before sitting up and resting his chin on his hand, “Oh look,another bird.” “Hmm?” you said looking at a screen to see a student with a Bird head

“Where do you think the head and body meet, i think that's a choker not part of his body.” you said tapping the pen to your lips

“Nah the red is totally a part of his body, hey look, it's the grand canyon, is there where our tax dollars are going?”

“You don't pay taxes hawks.” you said

“Yeesh lucky me, I got the IRS and the HPSC on my ass.” Hawks said, you gave out a small chuckle under your breath as you took in as much infraction as you could, between the mind field and then the horse battle, you were able to get a good hold on the future hero work. THe one on one fight was even more interesting and hawks seem very particule on the bird headed student who was named Tokoyami

“Look ill i'm saying with you talons, my wings and his head it would be pretty cool.” Hawks said, as you shushed him as you kept watching the kid breck the bones in his hand

“Don't you think his quirk is a lot like all mights?” you said “too similar.”

“I don't think All might bones explode.” Hawks said “Still this finger destroying kid has guts, but if he keep going on his path like this-” “His tendons and ligaments are going to be ruined and bye bye arms.” you said interrupting him and kept onlooking the tournament till it was done, and some poor kid was having an episode on top of the podium thrashing around

“Looks like he is having a panic attack.” you said, seeing All might take the muzzle off him and putting the mental, in his mouth.

“I don't think i can watch another round of this, I mean they are teenagers.” you said 

“Doesn't matter, the younger they are the easier it is to make em.” hawks said rolling over and wanting to go back to his nap, but you pull his wing open

“Hawks im getting bored of the same old, same old.” you said “Can’t we do something interesting.”

“Hey, I am plenty interesting.” hawks said “besides news is in the underworld right now.”

“What news?” you asked

“Haven't you heard about the hero killer?” Hawks asked

“Briefly, yes.” you said fiddling with one of his fathers on his wing.

“Well he is killing heros as the news puts it, in the underworld he is killing people who get in the way, to me he is sticking it to the HPSC.” Hawks said 

“Hawks you have killed people, I have seen you do it.” you said

“Still, I wonder what he is thinking.” HAwks said as he used his wing to splat you down on the ground “Now let me sleep.”

“You are no fun.” you said

A few nights later you were hanging onto the back of Hawks as you were both looking down for anything to do, small fries no real threats, you hadn't gotten you hands dirty tonight

“Hawks.” you said

“Yes?” he replied

“When are we going to do something interesting?” you asked

“Very soon, I have  a feeling I'm going to get called in for real soon.” Hawks said “for now lets just relax a bit and take in the view.”

“What favor?” you asked

“Well, you see, I kinda had to sorta maybe get help from this guy to break you out of your confinement from the HPSC.” Hawks said “Only if I did him a favor, he was the same guy who later attacked the USJ, so I'm wondering what or when he will call for me.”

“YOu got help from who now.” you said

“Look, I didn't have any other choice, okay.” Hawks said “Besides nothing I anti used to.”

“Wonder what it could be, because I'm sure if you had been at the USJ, things would've turned out different.” you said “Not sure how i feel about attacking a bunch of kids, hero or not.”

“You like kids?” HAwks asked

“I'm indifferent, I'd never want to hurt one though.” you said “But i’d rather avoid them.” “Lol what are vermin, I love the little scamps.” Hawks said “So young and native, im jelosse.”

“Wish you could have stayed a bit naive for longer hawks?” you asked, he just gave a simple nod of his head 

“Still I'm even more pissed at the HPSC for commissioning children and teenagers.” HAwks said “All the more reason why I want to take them down.”

“I wonder what will pop up afterwards.” you thought

And sure enough the day where Tomura called Hawks in came in the upcoming day, you made it very clear to HAwks that since you were the reason he made the agreement you were going with him.

“I asked for a bird, not some cold faced woman.” The man who had a hand on his face said, you decided to remain quiet, you saw the reports and his quirk, still the bandages on his arms, legs and shoulder said that he had a rough couple of weeks.

“Look, I'm here to repay my favor, what do you want?” Hawks said 

“I'm gathering a group of people to help me.” He said, hawks took notice of how he was a little less bratty then last time. “And you have a favor to repay me, for helping you save that one.”

A finger was pointed at you.

“That is why I am here, what do you need me to do?” Hawks said

“This one.” Tomura said holding up a photo of the teen who had been bound on the first palace podium was held up between two of his fingers. “I need you and the others to catch him for me and bring him here.”

“Anything else?” Hawks asked

“Yes, don't kill this one, I want to get my hands on him first.” Tomura said holding up a photo of the finger destroying kid “I know you are the fastest villain out there and even on the top 3 most dangerous villains up there, if they see you there, they will know I mean business, and you.” “Me?” you asked

“Yes you, a little college student who ran away to a life of crime under the wing of the Night hawk, or the poor innocent soul who was seduced to the dark side, which one was it?”

“I was bored and wanted a change of pace.” you said, and you saw a crooked smile under the hand on his face “Hawks is just my mentor right now, where he goes i go.”

“Fair enough but if you get caught don't expect another rescue team.” Tomura said, ``Hawks  put a wing between the two of you. “hey I'm not here to kill either of you , put the wing down.”

“So you want me to help capture this guy, the guy with the explosions.” Hawks said 

“Yup.”

“Well, my wings don't like heat that much.” Hawks said “But i’ll do it, i am a man of my word, but how will this take place.”

“They are going to a training camp soon, you and the others will attack, ruffle their feathers and the others will be there as well, this isn't going to be a repeat of the USJ.” Tomura said “Feel free to because as much maham as you want, just leave this kid alone, and get this kid to me.”

“Hmm the whole class of 1-a.” Hawks said “Not sure how I feel about hurting a bunch of kids, but tell you what, I'll put in my all if i can pick something up while I am there.”

“Pick what up?” Tomura said

“You're Not the only one who thinks a new prodigy is there.” Hawks said, you grabbed one of hawks feathers in anger, he paid no mind.

“Perfect, glad i can rely on you, i'll introduce you to the others with time.” Tomura said “Kurogiri sent me home.”

A black mist portal opened and you and Hawks both went though, and once the portal close you gave hawks a very pissed off look

“What?” He asked

“What the hell was that?” you asked “You want us to go and kidnap a student, incase you forget that guy is out of his mind to think any of those student would turn to villainy, why else would they apply to U.A.'' you said

“Hey calm down chickadee.” Hawks said, putting his hands up in defense “Look I know there is no way any student will listen to him or turn evil, but I do owe him.” Hawks said “And I want to see the kid in person, that was more or less a bluff for him to think I'm going to take this seriously, don't worry i anti trying to replace you, no need to be upset.”

“I'm not upset!” you said

“Yes you were, you were all upset and grabbed my wing trying to pluck me because you thought I wanted to replace you with someone new.” Hawks said, teasing you as you grabbed a handful of his wings “ahh  hey watch the feathers!”

“You jerk!” You said thrashing him back and forth then letting him go “Still i don't like the thought of hurting teenagers, and they don't care if they are killed either.”

“(name), do you trust me?” Hawks asked as he patted his feathers down

“I do.” you said

“Then don't worry.” Hawks said “After this we won't have to deal with him again okay.”

“Okay.” you said still with your arms crossed “I still have a bad bad feeling about this, have you ever heard of the domino effect.”

“Yes.” Hawks said “But the good thing is, maybe this will set off the same chain reaction, i mean if a student gets captured, what will people think about the school and their defense, how idiotic they are with the fact that it happened in the first place.”

“True I mean I am going to do it regardless.” you said “This is the deal you made to get me out of there.” as you looked down at your left thumb

So that's the story of how you and hawks ended up looking down from a clift down a bunch of students who were doing a test of courage in the woods, you didn't tell the others one bit.

“Hey chicken, I never thought i'd ever meet you.” the one who had staples all over his body to keep his burnt flesh attached to him said

“I see I'm popular.” Hawks said, then he looked at you

“And is this the girl who you seduce to the dark side?’ He asked

“Back off she came here on her own accord.” Hawks said putting a wing in front of you

“I think she is cute.” A girl who seemed to be rather young said, wondering what her story was “you are the woman with the knife for nails?”

“Talons under my nail beds, but yes.” you said

“Great, you can come with me then.” She said grabbing your arm and hugging it “help me collect some blood.” “(name) you going to be okay?” Hawks asked

“I’ll be fine, i'll see you when this is over Hawks.” you said

“Looks like you got dumped.” Dabi said and the hawks almost whacked him over the head “anyway you know what to do bird brain, Twice you are with me.”

“Got it dabi, no way Jose.” The man said as you and Toga left

“Hey (name) if anything happens just shout for me okay.” Hawks said

“Gross you love birds, aww isn't that sweet.” Twice said again “You two make a great couple, you are like oil and water.”

“Thanks?” Hawks said and the attack and capture was on.

“Let's go fill those heroes full of holes and put them in their place.” Dabi said as hawks took off what an edge lord he thought

[babybirdgyeom]

you, me and bertha | pjy

genre: neighbors!au, farmer!au, lots of bickering and alcohol

word count: 30k

summary: when you moved to your uncle’s farm you expected a lot of things - but not to fall in love with your handsome, yet very annoying neighbor park jinyoung, whose favorite hobby was to tease you.

note: i posted parts of this before but never finished it - so i rewrote it all and here it is, the finished story! 

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ

Walking the long but yet very pretty way towards the small village that, from today on, was supposed to be your new home you felt a bit indifferent. While you were sure that it was time for you to start a new chapter of your life you still were anxious about taking such a big step. Moving to the farm that belongs to your uncle seemed like a good idea to you, the place held such special memories and as a child you always wanted to live here, working on the farm, supporting your uncle and his son, Bambam.

The big city you grew up had nothing to offer you anymore – so now, you wanted a cut in your life. There was nothing you loved more than sneaking out with your cousin at night, secretly meeting up with your friends, going for a swim in the small, but yet very charming lake next to your house. You wouldn't trade those memories for nothing, cherishing each and every one of them.

It's been such a long time since you visited the town, you actually felt a bit nostalgic when you arrived in the center of the town. The residents liked to call the marketplace at the beginning of the town „the heart“ of the city. Ever since your last visit many years ago nothing has changed. Basically, it was a round and rather big circle, surrounded by a small café that has been there all your life, right next to it the library that was owned by the Kim's, the parents of Bambam's closest friend, Kim Yugyeom. You couldn't help but smile as you remembered how you used to hide in the library, reading the same few books over and over again. Opposite of the library was the old restaurant – every single rather important event was celebrated in that restaurant, may it be birthdays, anniversaries, New Year's Eve or whatever other reason there was.

It was so popular not only because of the delicious food they had but also because it was literally the only restaurant around. Your uncle and your neighbors, the Park's, were providing them with the food they needed, so you usually always got food for free which lead to you and Bambam spending a lot of time at the restaurant, no matter how often your uncle insisted he could cook dinner for you.

And last, but certainly not least, there was the little pub that you never actually were allowed to spend time in since you used to be too young. The Im’s, the owners of the place, were very strict about that. None of you and your friends were ever allowed to be inside the pub as long as you were minors – even their son Jaebeom rarely ever saw it from the inside.

As you stood in the middle of the marketplace you couldn't help but smile as the last sunrays of this warm late summer day were falling right onto the pub, making it look a bit more beautiful than it actually was. The paint on the outside was splintered and the sign that simply said ‘The Im’s Pub’ was slowly falling apart - somehow all of this gave it a certain charm though. The mentality of the village always made you feel comfortable. There were about 150 people living here if you had to guess and the next supermarket was a twenty-five minute drive away but the people seemed so happy, not worrying about a lot of things.

You decided that a short stop in the pub before you’d go home to your uncle’s house wouldn’t hurt anyone. After all, you were way too curious to finally see the place everyone always used to go after work ended.

As you carefully entered the door you felt cheerful - it looked exactly like you always imagined it to be. Most of the furniture was made out of old wood, the bar was long and it was the first thing one would notice as they came in since it was on the opposite wall of the entrance.

Your smile was a mile wide when you spotted the one man you hoped to find standing behind the bar. Of course, Jaebeom was the bartender by now, it was always his plan to work here, to him it seemed to be the coolest thing ever to be a bartender, especially in his own bar. For a second you studied him, he looked dangerously handsome. Certainly a lot taller than the last time you had interacted with him and his face looked more mature, a sharp jawline and high, defined cheekbones, his hair styled back making him look almost evil with the combination of the tight and dark shirt he was wearing and the nose ring shining in the light. If it wasn’t for the two moles under his eyebrow you would have to look twice to be sure it was the same Im Jaebeom you spent so much time with as a child.

The expression on his face as he recognized you, the young lady from out of town, was priceless - his whole relaxed and cool facade vanished immediately as he looked at you with his eyes wide open, a questioning glance as he saw you. He was caught off guard, his mouth slightly open.

“Just the man I hoped to find. Im Jaebeom, you look good,” you flirted as you walked towards the bar, “I’d like to have one beer please.”

Within seconds he was walking away from his place behind the bar to come and embrace you in a tight hug before mustering you, shortly studying your face to make sure you were really the person he thought you were.

“(Y/N), live and in color? I thought you forgot about us,” he joked cheesily, his hand holding your chin.

A joyful laugh came out of your mouth as he walked back behind the bar, opening both, you and himself, a beer.

“You could’ve called, you know? No need to surprise me like this. My old heart can’t take those kinds of surprises anymore.”, he sounded lighthearted, just like you remembered him.

Immediately you felt ten times lighter, clicking with people you haven’t seen in a long time was one of the purest things in existence and you were more than relieved to see that you and Jaebeom were equally as excited to be reunited after such a long time. Not getting along with your old friends, especially Jaebeom, was one of the many fears you had about moving here.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think Bambam would actually keep quiet about me coming back.” you admitted.

“How long has it been since we saw each other?”, he asked as he was leaning against the bar, his whole attention on his former best friend, still having an obviously hard time to believe that you were actually sitting in front of him right now.

Before you could give him an answer someone else started to talk from behind you and you immediately recognized his orotund voice, “Six long years.”, your cousin said while he and another familiar face walked up to you.

Bambam pulled you into an even deeper hug than Jaebeom did and you felt home within seconds. Yugyeom was right beside him, of course, where else would he be than next to Bambam? The two of them still were inseparable apparently.

“How did you manage to not say anything?” Yugyeom said in shock before looking at you, “It’s good to see you again, (y/n). I can’t believe Bambam didn’t tell us.”

You were almost amazed at how much he grew, his chin could easily rest on your head by now, something that you would’ve never thought could happen. Yugyeom has always been the youngest and smallest kid back then and now he was the tallest in the room.

“I wasn’t sure if she’d actually come. Didn’t want to get your hopes up, Yugyeom,” he teased his friend, still nagging about the crush he had on you when you were five years old. Yugyeom rolled his eyes at his comment before bringing his attention back to you and Jaebeom, sitting down on the stool beside yours.

“So, how long are you going to stay?” Jaebeom asked suddenly.

For the first time, you actually had to say the truth out loud, making it feel much more real.

“I’m not planning to leave again,” you sounded more confident than you thought, the nice encounter with your old friends almost making you feel like you had nothing to worry about.

There was a moment of silence, both of them not knowing what to say, broken by Bambam when he let out a laugh.

“You know, I never saw you speechless until now,” he said amused.

“You mean-”, Yugyeom started to form a sentence but dropped it, not knowing how to continue.

“You’re moving here?”, Jaebeom asked, wrinkles on his forehead as his brows narrowed in confusion. As you slowly nodded his concentrated expression vanished and changed into a grin. “You’re actually moving here.”, he repeated breathlessly, more to himself than to you, slowly nodding to himself as if he had to progress the new information, “Welcome home then, (y/n). Let’s celebrate a bit.”, he said while pouring shots into a few glasses in front of him.

Time went by fast and you had fun learning about what happened in the last six years. It didn’t sound like a lot has changed though, they were still as close and as fun to be around as last time. Every time you looked at them it hit you how fast time flew by, it felt like a few months ago that all of you were playing hide and seek in the middle of the night while your parents had no idea you sneaked out. Those teenage boys were adults now, or at least on their way to becoming some.

A few hours and many shots later, you and Bambam walked home, the night sky was breathtakingly clear and full of stars - a sight you could never see in your hometown. You forgot how special it felt to walk under millions of stars.

Walking home with Bambam was your favorite part about today, you definitely missed him the most. He told you a bit about how Jackson and Mark are thinking about taking over the old restaurant because the owners are getting too old to manage everything and about Yugyeom and Youngjae being into the same girl, without knowing that Mark is dating her secretly.

As you arrived at home your uncle was sitting in the rocking chair on the porch in front of the old farmhouse.

“Uncle Minwoo,“ you almost shouted out as you saw him, jogging over to where he was sitting.

Minwoo always was your favorite uncle and you were his favorite niece, much to the dislike of your siblings.

“(Y/n),” he laughed as you hugged him, “you smell like you had a good time in the pub.”

“We actually have a small surprise for you,” Bambam told you to follow him.

He lead you to the old little cottage that has been on the farm for as long as you were able to think – back in the days it was mainly used for storing tools and electronics that shouldn’t be exposed to the rain. A bit confusion coming over you, your uncle handed you a key and you opened the small hut. Stepping inside, you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“Welcome home,“ your uncle said as you observed the comfortable room. A small kitchen, a couch and a TV in the living room, a bed on the other side of the room. They painted the walls white and decorated a bit, making you feel touched. You were sure you could stay here forever, it looked so cute and welcoming, like a real home. Not a thousand words could describe how much you appreciated them for putting in so much effort, just to make you feel comfortable.

As you thanked both, Bambam and your uncle, you sat down and all of you talked a bit until your uncle told you to go to sleep. Work wouldn’t wait for you and you were thankful for any second of sleep you could get.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

Waking up the next morning, you immediately regretted the alcohol you were having yesterday. Your phone said it was currently six in the morning and while being woken up by the sound of chicken and cows was way more relaxing than your alarm clock you still would have preferred to just sleep in.

Walking outside a few minutes later you inspected the farm – it was a giant property with two big houses on it. Half of the farm belonged to your uncle, he took care of the animals, the other half belonged to the Park's, in charge of the harvest.

Starting the day with feeding the chickens and collecting eggs was one of the easier tasks you had to face today since it almost didn’t require any kind of skill. While you were picking up another egg you suddenly heard someone scream at you from behind.

“Hey! Put the eggs back! Who in the world steals eggs these days?”, the deep voice belonged to a man but before you could turn around to find out who was screaming at you, he held your wrists behind your back, not giving you any space to move.

Your attempt to free yourself was almost embarrassing, you had no chance.

Turning your head around to scream at the stranger you muted as soon you met his eyes - the words you wanted to scream wouldn’t come out as you looked into the familiar face of his.

His thick eyebrows were furrowed, his dark eyes were piercing you, filled with a mixture of anger and annoyance - he was staring at you and waiting for an explanation.

“Par-,“ your voice died and you fastly cleared your throat, “Park Jinyoung?”

His annoyed expression changed into a confused one as you called him by his name. You couldn’t believe he was accusing you of stealing eggs.

“Let go of me!” you demanded but Jinyoung wasn’t planning to listen to you.

“Who are you?”, he asked harshly, “You’re not from here. How do you know my name?”

The grip on your wrists became tighter and actually started to hurt a bit.

“I’m (Y/N). Minwoo’s niece,” you replied just as harsh as he asked you, “Didn’t Mrs. Park teach you any manners?”

He let you go and you immediately grabbed your own wrist just so he couldn’t grab them again. A small pout formed on your lip as you looked at them, trying not to let him see that it actually hurt.

“What are you doing here?” he asked you.

Now you were facing him and you had to stop for a second to take in his beauty. As he was holding you, you didn’t really manage to study his face since you were too busy trying to free yourself but now you started realizing how handsome he became.

It's not like he was ugly before, you and him just never clicked and that’s why you never gave his face any kind of attention. Jinyoung wasn’t a bad guy, you knew that because Jaebeom repeatedly assured you that he was actually a very loving person once you get to know him. Personally, you just never really got the chance to, since he definitely wasn’t interested in anything that had to do with you. Not in a mean way though, he just didn’t seem to care about the girls in town, especially not the one who always came over the summer break and then left again.

Glowering at you, he was waiting for an answer. You, on the other hand, didn’t dare to look him into his eyes, instead, your eyes were studying the rest of his face. His features were sharper and manlier now, his brows thick but he still had the same wrinkles around his eyes. For a second you wanted to look at his lips but you stopped yourself, not wanting him to get wrong ideas.

“What are you doing here?” you asked in retund instead of giving an answer, “Didn’t you always say you wanted to leave this place?”

He rolled his eyes as you avoided his question.

“I asked first,“ he said, making it hard for you not to chuckle at the very immature conversation you were having.

“I am working here. Don’t you have some vegetables to take care of?” you asked coldly before turning your back to him.

“You better get used to my face, if you scare me like this one more time I might have a heart attack.”, you added as your attention back to feeding the chickens.

But instead of leaving Jinyoung was walking to stand right beside you again, “You’re working here? How come?” he asked. It never was a secret that Jinyoung wanted to leave this town, he used to talk about it a lot back then already and, even though he still was here, apparently, he still wanted to leave.

“I’m supporting my family,” you shrugged, not looking at him. You really didn’t want to be cold to him but you were tired and you knew how Jinyoung was, he’d either be totally rude or uninterested.

You could see him shake his head in confusion as you were continuing with your work, “Okay, you go milk those cows and churn that butter if this is what fulfills you, (y/n). I’ll go back to work,“ he pointed at the field of tomatoes on the other side of the farm your families shared and left you alone again.

Walking over to the cows, you couldn't help but wonder why he still was here. He was a very clever guy, he could easily go and leave this town to study and open a business or whatever it was he wanted to do. Glancing over to him one more time, you tried to milk the cows.

The field of tomatoes he was currently working on was not too far away but luckily far enough to give you a bit of privacy. He seemed to be very invested in picking the best tomatoes he could find, a concentrated glance on his face. And you really should try to concentrate too, since you haven’t milked a cow in years.

But you failed miserably. To your desperation, no one was around when you went looking for Bambam or your uncle to help you. Trotting back to the cows you sat down on a small stool in front of one them, giving it another try.

You groaned at the cow, laying your head back and closing your eyes in frustration.

“Just give me your stupid milk, please,” you mumbled while taking a deep breath, your eyes still closed.

“Are you sure this is the right job for you? If you can’t even milk Bertha maybe you should reconsider,“ Park Jinyoung’s voice startled you, making you jump a bit. The grin on his face clearly was teasing, full of satisfaction because you were struggling, “Do you need help?”

“Please,“ you didn’t care about the triumphing grin on his face, you were more than willing to take his offer. Any kind of help was good. And in the end, you didn’t dislike Park Jinyoung, you just weren’t close to him.

He nodded before telling you to wait for a second as he walked towards the little shed. Coming out again he held a strange looking machine in his hand while attaching it to the cow’s udder.

“We haven't milked them by hand for years,” he explained to you as he took your wrist once again, this time more careful though, and slightly pulled you towards the cow’s udder, right next to him. “Watch closely, I’ll show you once and if you can’t follow, you’re on your own,” his words sounded harsh but you didn’t take them that way. The fact that Jaebeom was his best friend was something you two had in common and if Jaebeom wanted you to give Jinyoung a chance you would do that. For Jaebeom, but also for you. After all, Jinyoung was your neighbor and, in addition, he was a handsome man, you wouldn’t mind being able to look at his face whenever you wanted at all.

You saw the way he acts around the guys and you saw that he indeed had a very soft heart, maybe he just had a hard time showing it.

“Hey! Are you even watching?” he asked annoyed while glancing at you, “I know how to do this, I am not the one that has to learn. I’m being nice here, don’t waste my time.”

You chuckled a bit at him losing his temper so easily. “Yes, Jinyoung, I’m watching," you said grinning, “Wasting your time was not a task on my list today.”

After he rolled his eyes at you you could swear you saw a small smile on his face, “You’re really annoying,“ he insisted while starting to milk the cow.

You tried to concentrate on how exactly he does it, what movements his hands made and so on but you kept on finding yourself thinking about how good his hands looked – what in the world was wrong with you? It's not like you've never seen an attractive man before so you had no clue why your hormones were playing a game with you.

After you started to try milking the cows yourself you felt more than relieved that you actually managed to do it right. Letting out a small ‘thank god’ under your breath you realized that Jinyoung still stood right beside you, watching your every move.

“You know, you can go back to the toma-,” you started to say before he interrupted you in the same moment.

“Just a tip for you,“ he said, not sounding cold for the first time, “Don’t dress up for farm work. You’ll ruin your clothes. You can still wear cute outfits after you’re finished here. But while working just wear something old,“ he said as he was just about to turn around before you had to take the chance to annoy him one last time for now.

“You think my outfit is cute?” the grin on your face was wide and you were way too amused.

As a response he gave you a death glare, knowing that you’ll probably never stop teasing him about it.

“Please don't,“ was all he could whisper frustrated under his breath.

“What a softie you are,“ you said, playfully poking his upper arm, “Didn’t know you had that in you.”

He let out yet another sigh, sounding almost whiny, “Are you always this awful?“

“Dear diary,“ you said in a nagging tone, “Today Park Jinyoung gave me a complim-”

Before you could end your sentence he was covering your mouth, shaking his head in disbelief slowly, “I’ll go back to work, (y/n). Don’t forget to churn the butter. The wooden pitcher we use for it is in the shed,“ and with that, he walked back to his side of the farm again.

Just a second before he arrived he glanced over to you again, screaming so that you could hear him, “I didn’t compliment you okay? Don't let it get to your head.“

Waving at him from the shed, you nodded your head. “Sure. Talk to you later! Your outfit looks cute too by the way”, you screamed back. Maybe working next to Jinyoung wasn’t so bad after all, if he was always such an easy target to provocate you'd at least have your fun.

When Bambam came into the shed with the tools to take over a few hours later, you were churning the butter, cursing under your breath. Sweat was dripping all over your forehead and it was seriously tiring, every single muscle of your arm hurt. You weren’t sure if you could manage to do that on a daily base. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about a gym membership anymore.

Your cousin stared at you confused, a sly grin in the corner of his mouth, “What exactly are you doing?“

“I’m churning the goddamn butter. Why is it so hard?” you complained while looking up to him. He was holding two beers in his hands, handing one over to you before starting to laugh at your action.

“Why would you use that old thing for that? We have a machine that churns it for us,“ he laughed, “I don’t know why we even still have that old thing.”

“Fucking Park Jinyoung,“ you cursed under your breath, leaving Bambam even more confused.

“You met him?” he asked while sitting down in the hay beside you.

“I did," you hissed, “He was the one who told me to do it this way.”

Bambam’s smile grew wide as he tried to contain his laughter, “A typical Park Jinyoung move.”. He almost sounded satisfied that you were getting fooled by him, “He likes you if he teases you.”

The only response you could give him to that was an eye-roll, “Well, that’s not a very nice way of showing it,“ you took a big sip of the beer, knowing that you probably deserved it for all the teasing earlier, before continuing, “You didn’t tell me he became handsome though.”

Bambam’s eyes widened immediately as you confessed and you could tell he was trying not to spit out his drink out of shock. He fastly swallowed, “You have a crush on Park Jinyoung?”

You shook your head scoffing, lightly kicking his leg, “A crush? How old are we? I just think he’s very attractive. But he was pretty rude though.”

Bambam pressed his lips together in a thin line, looking into the sky, „His father died two years ago. He became a bit cold since then. But he opens up sooner or later, just be patient with him.“

You gulped at the news, “What a sad loss, Mr. Park was such a ray of sunshine, always ready to help.”

Bambam nodded, “He was. Olli was only six years old when his father died. But dad took a lot of care of them since then.”

There was a short silence. You still remembered little Olli, Jinyoung’s younger brother. The last time you saw him he was barely two years old.

“I can’t believe he’s your type though. I thought I really wanted to set you up with Yugyeom,“ Bambam broke the silence before you could think about it any longer, almost offended. You laughed at him. He was close to Jinyoung, you knew that, but he always wanted you to date Yugyeom, only for the purpose of having him as an official family member.

“That won’t happen, Bam.”, you broke it to him, much to his disappointment.

A deep sigh came from him, “Well if you want Jinyoung so bad, come to the pub with us. I bet he’ll be there too tonight. We are meeting at eight. What do you say?”

“I don’t want him, I simply said that he is good looking.”, you hoped he wouldn’t tease you all the time about this from now on, already starting to slowly regret that you even brought it up in the first place. And as much as you would like to go out to the pub with the others you had a date with your bathtub that you wouldn’t want to miss for anything else tonight.

“I’ll pass though. I’ll come next time,“ you promised, standing up and walking towards your door.

“I can’t wait to tell Jaebeom that you and Jinyoung are going to become a couple. How exciting!” he yelled after you, making you laugh out in frustration. Sharing your opinion on Jinyoung’s look with your cousin probably wasn't the best idea.

It fastly got dark outside and you were lighting the candles in your bathroom, the bathtub slowly filling up with hot water. Exactly what your muscles needed after churning the butter all afternoon. Putting a bit of milk in the bathtub, you wondered if you had some honey in the farmhouse by any chance. As you wrapped the first towel you could find around your body, you wanted to hush over to your uncle’s house to check. But what stopped you from your plans was a shadow you saw walking past your window, making you freeze until someone rang your door.

Opening it, no one else than Jinyoung was standing in front of it, his work clothes traded into sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, a basket in his hand and his eyes fixed on your exposed legs. The towel you were wearing luckily covered all of your breast and bottom but that was about it. And, as if it couldn't get worse, it also had a lot of fairies on it - it used to be your favorite towel when you were about five years old. Still, you didn’t need Jinyoung to see you wearing it.

“Jinyoung?“ you asked him, unsure why he was visiting but he was still looking at the exposed parts of your body, not doing a good job at hiding the fact that he got distracted by your legs. You barely noticed though because your thoughts wandered to this morning. “How dare you not telling me that we have a machine for the butter? Are you crazy?” you raised your voice at him.

“My arms hurt so much,“ you added, too tired to fight him so you decided to whine.

Coming back to reality, he laughed at you, his eyes now looking at your face, “You seriously did it all by yourself?”, he was lucky the wrinkles around his eyes were so cute whenever he laughed, otherwise you would have killed him right there, “You must be pretty strong then.”

This time it was your turn to give him a death glare, “What do you want?” you asked him annoyed before you saw his eyes wandering down to your legs once again.

Not missing out on the opportunity to nag him, you chuckled, “Do you like my outfit?” as you struck a small pose, you had to be careful not to expose any parts he shouldn’t see.

Rolling his eyes he handed over the basket, “Seriously, you’re so annoying.”

You grinned, thinking it’s quite funny how easy it was to annoy him, “But you still think I’m cute, so it doesn’t matter.”

There definitely was a smile hidden on his lips that he tried to hide at all cost, but you could see it reaching his eyes, “This is for you. My mum put your favorites in it. Tomatoes, cherries, peaches, blueberries. She asked me to bring it to you,“ the man said, trying to sound as uninterested and unbothered as possible.

“That-“ you started to say, feeling very touched about the little gift but a bit confused as to why Jinyoung brought it to you, “That’s so nice of her. I’ll come over tomorrow and thank her.”

He immediately focused on you again, “No, it's fine. I’ll tell her. She’s kind of sick at the moment, she needs to rest, Olli is not even letting me go near her because he doesn’t want anyone else to get sick, so I doubt he would let you come over.”

You mustered him suspiciously but decided to leave him be, you surely teased him enough for today and didn’t want him to actually dislike you.

“Alright, Jinyoung. Thank you,“ you gave him a soft smile as you were about to close the door.

“Wait,” he stopped you before you closed the door and you waited for him to say something, “Are you planning to go to the pub later?“ - if you didn’t expect him to ask one thing than it was this one. Why did he care suddenly?

“I don’t think so. Churning that butter has really worn me out, you know?” you said, laughing lightly, “And my bathtub is already waiting for me.”

“Oh alright. That’s cool. See you soon, I guess,“ he said before awkwardly giving you a small smile and leaving again. What a strange yet interesting guy he was.

Something about him made you look forward to your future on the farm. But before you could let it get to your head, you were interrupted by a text from no one else than Jaebeom.

[Jaebeom, 22:29]

Glad to hear you're getting yourself a man! Jinyoung and (y/n), how sweet.

You let out a small laugh before finally meeting your only date for tonight: Your bathtub. Though you had to admit that the handsome face from next door was coming to your mind every now and then.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

After a week you slowly got used to the daily work on the farm, your body was finally starting to react differently, your arms weren’t getting as sore anymore and waking up early was bothering you less and less. It was a sunny Saturday which means you had to gather all of the stuff your uncle wanted to sell on the market the next morning. Picking out the best eggs, milk, wool and cheese was pretty boring, especially since Bambam left early because he was going on a date tonight with some random girl you never heard of. But since you wanted him to be happy, and also because his teasing about Jinyoung was slowly but surely making you go insane, you told him it would be okay if he let you work alone today. It took you about an hour until you were finally done with carrying all of the boxes into your uncle’s car as you saw Mrs. Park, Jinyoung’s mother, and decided to help her quickly, she looked like she was struggling.

His mother was a beautiful and lovely lady, always has been. Her black hair was long and even though there were a few grey strands in it by now she still looked as young as ever.

“Mrs. Park, let me help you,“ you shouted while jogging over to her, “Where’s Jinyoung? Letting his mother carry all the heavy boxes of fruits and vegetables alone is not a nice thing to do,”, you disapproved, one box already in your hands.

She let out a laugh and you were reminded of how warm her laughter was, it sounded like the giggle of a small child.

“It’s fine, I told him to rest for today. He always works so much,” she let out a worried sigh, “I’m very thankful, I know helping me on the farm was not what he wanted to do with his life but he does it for me.”

You never really thought about it that way before - this might explain why he’s still here despite always hating the small village he was born and grew up in, it was probably hard for him to leave his family behind after losing his father. While carrying a box full of blueberries you ate a handful, not able to hold back. The Park’s blueberries have always been your favorites, none of the ones back at home could compare to the juicy fruits you'd get here.

“You still love blueberries, I see,” She hummed joyfully as she was carrying the last box to the car.

“I am obsessed with them,” you answered, “Oh- I still wanted to thank you for the little basket full of fruits you send to me. I was in heaven, your peaches were even better than I remembered.”

Mrs. Park looked at you in confusion for a second before getting a grip of the situation, the confusion vanished while a different kind of expression came to her face, unable for you to read at first.

“So he can actually be charming,“ she mumbled to herself with an almost mischievous smirk and within seconds you knew exactly what she was talking about.

Scoffing, you wondered why Jinyoung wouldn't just admit that the little basket was a present from him, not from his mother – who would do something so sweet without wanting to let the other person know? But then, on the other hand, you knew it wasn't like Jinyoung to play the nice guy.

“Mum,” you heard his voice while he walking out of the door to their house.

When he saw you he froze for a second, “Oh, hey, (y/n),“ he said with a slight and not really convincing smile, it almost seemed forced.

You nodded towards him, ready to go back to work and leave them alone, as his little brother came running outside, chasing after Jinyoung.

“Jinyoung,” he let out a scream as he tried to jump on his back. He was surprisingly tall for an eight-year-old, almost managing to get to Jinyoung’s shoulders if he jumped high enough, “Can I come with you? Please?”

Before Jinyoung could answer, Olli’s attention was shifted somewhere else. Or better said, on someone else. To be precise, you caught his attention, the girl standing in front of his mother and brother, a stranger he’s never seen before.

“Who are you?” he asked curiously, studying you exactly, “Are you the niece of Minwoo?”

You kneeled down to be at an eye to eye level with him, shaking his hand, “Yes, that’s me. I’m (y/n). It's nice to meet you.”

He had a big grin on his face, “Hi, I’m Olli,“ after introducing himself to you he turned around to his big brother, “Did you make the basket for her?”

Jinyoung shushed him within a second, giving him a warning glance before trying to cover up his story, “Yes, I did it because mum asked me to.”

She let out a sarcastic laugh, making fun of her son, “Sure, Jinyoung. It was totally me asking you to do that.”

A heavy sigh fell from Jinyoung’s mouth before shaking his head in disbelief, “Where is your cousin? He promised he’d help me picking up our new couch.”

“Oh, I am afraid he forgot. He’s on a date right now,“, you informed him.

Jinyoung let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temple, not believing that Bambam completely forgot about him. Now even more frustrated, he started mumbling, “It’s always the same with this kid.”

“I’ll help you,“ you volunteered determined, not even bothering to ask him first, knowing he’d say no anyway, “I’m done with work for today and I don’t mind coming along.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll go alone,“ he insisted, clearly mad at Bambam, before walking over to his car. Not caring you decided to follow him, hoping that he’d be nice to Bambam if you helped him instead, even though you had little hope, considering the fact you were talking about Park Jinyoung but it was worth a try.

“Stop being so stubborn,“ you said to him as you opened the door and sat down inside the car, “Just accept my help.”

And much to your surprise, he did accept it, not bothering to start another discussion with you. Maybe he was just too tired of the constant bickering going on between the two of you.

As the two of you drove out of town the sky looked like it was painted in golden colors, the sun slowly setting but the air was still warm, brushing the arm you held out of the open window.

“Where are we even going?” you asked the obviously bothered boy beside you.

“It’s not far away, the dude I’m buying the couch from lives like twenty minutes away,“ he answered, his eyes glued to the street, „You really didn’t have to come. I could’ve easily done it alone.”

Slowly but surely, you were starting to get mad at Jinyoung. You couldn’t tell why his constant attitude was getting to you but it did. Of course, he didn't have to like you and honestly, maybe you did go a bit too far with the teasing but after all, you were neighbors, co-workers and also shared the same group of friends. Being nice to each other was the least you could do.

„Dude, you’re the worst. Can you keep quiet for once and accept help? Stop being so rude all the time, being nice every now and then won’t hurt you, you know? You can take your bad mood out on Bambam later.”, you snapped at him, not even intended to sound so mean but it just happened.

He peaked at you, his eyes grew wide in shock at your rant. Even though your voice was still low he clearly heard the frustration in it, “What do you mean? I am being nice all the time. I told you that you shouldn’t wear your good clothes to work in. That was a piece of nice advice I gave you for example.”

You scoffed at him not knowing if he was being serious, “You also attacked me because you thought I was stealing chicken and made me churn butter.”

He chuckled amused as you brought the churning up, “I still can’t believe you did that.”

“My arms still hurt. You’re an asshole,“ you rolled your eyes, not in the mood to put up with Jinyoung being, well, himself, when you were just being nice, “If that is your interpretation of being nice I’m beyond sorry for your future girlfriend.”

“Hey, now you’re the one being mean,“ he said, acting offended and honestly, a bit confused, not knowing why the two of you were fighting. You weren't even mad at him, you just felt fed up, craving at least peace between the two of you.

“Well, maybe you just need a taste of your own medicine,“ you shrugged, calming down a bit as the discussion started to become more playful than serious.

But before you or Jinyoung could fuel the fire and add anything into the it, you let out a small scream as he was turning right with full speed, making you feel like you were about to crash, holding onto the seatbelt for dear life.

“For fucks sake, where did you learn how to drive? Do you not know that you’re supposed to slow down before turning?” you asked him, gasping for air.

“If this is already scaring you, I’ll give you the nice advice to not drive with Jaebeom.”, he laughed out loud as he parked his car in front of a big house, “Ready to use the strength in your arms built up from churning butter?”

It took you about twenty minutes to carry all the parts of the couch from the third floor to the trailer on Jinyoung’s car. When you were done it was beginning to become dark outside and the weather was cooling down, making you shiver a bit. All done, you sat back inside Jinyoung’s car as he was securing the trailer so you could drive back home safely – or at least as safe as a ride with Jinyoung could be.

“If you’re cold there’s a blanket on the backseat, I'll get it for you,“ he screamed from outside before coming getting inside the car, a blanket in his hand, “See how nice I am? So caring, not wanting you to freeze to death.”

You shook your head amused, „What a gentleman you are.”

The drive home was more peaceful, no discussions this time. You looked outside, seeing a big and bright star in the sky, pointing to it excited.

“I can’t get over how beautiful the starry night sky is here. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it,“ you mumbled, almost sounding dreamy, eyes glued to the sky. It wasn’t even completely dark outside yet, but the first stars were already sparkling brightly.

“Isn’t it the same in your hometown?” Jinyoung asked a bit perplexed as he looked over to you, wondering how you could be so excited about some stars.

“Not at all. The big city lights drown them. You can barely see some, and if you can, they are not as bright as here.”

“I suppose Ilmon isn’t all bad.”, he shrugged, his glance wavering to the sky every few seconds.

You hummed in agreement, “Except for this terrible guy living next to me I quite enjoy my time here.”

He chuckled, enjoying the little game you two were playing, „Must be really hard to live right next to such an attractive young man. I bet you have a hard time.”

Laughing, you were impressed at his wittiness, “Don’t think too highly of yourself.”

Before you could let him answer your favorite song suddenly started playing in the radio, making you turn up the volume instantly, “You need to shut up now. This is my all-time favorite song.”

But of course, Jinyoung didn't shut up. He did the opposite, trying to sing along as loud as he could just to ruin the song for you – and he had way too much fun doing it.

“I didn’t know you could sing,“ you said, giving him an approving look.

A smirk formed on Jinyoung's lips, “I'm a man full of surprises.”

The rest of the drive the two of you were singing along to the radio loudly, having genuine fun together for the first time since you arrived. It was nice to see him loosen up a bit, even though it was only a small step.

Driving up to the farm, you already saw Bambam sitting on the porch. He immediately stood up, walking over to the car, already apologizing without you really arriving yet, “I’m so so sorry mate. I completely forgot. I owe you a beer next time we go out.”

Jinyoung chuckled as he turned the engine off, “Doesn’t seem like his date had a happy ending, considering he’s home already.”

“Good for me,“ you shrugged, “I’m way too tired to carry the whole couch inside anyway.”

You were the first to get out of the car, making Bambam narrow his eyebrows in confusion.

“What are you doing in Jinyoung’s car?” he asked suspiciously.

“I’m doing your fucking job, Bam,“ you shot him a mean glance.

As you were walking towards your home you were stopped by Jinyoung holding your arm, making you turn around.

“Thank you, I suppose,“ he said, pressing his lips together, obviously feeling awkward, “Just trying to be nice.”

You gave him a genuine smile, “No problem. Sleep well.”

“You too, (y/n).

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

Waking up a few days later you were almost shocked to see today’s weather. Yesterday the sun was still shining while today it was pouring like never before. The sky was dark and grey and your whole farm seemed quite sad, making you wish you could just stay in bed all day, just being lazy, reading, eating and maybe fantasizing about a certain someone.

Checking your phone you saw a text from Bambam: it’s going to storm today, you have to make sure all the animals are in the barn and safe, please. i’m getting food for tonight. see you later, favorite cousin.

You immediately threw on a thick cardigan and brushed your teeth, hurrying to get things done before the weather got even worse. Looking in the mirror you scoffed for a second at your sad reflection - your hair was in a very messy bun and your under-eye circles were almost black. But there was no time to pity yourself right now, you could do that after work.

After you fed and, of course, petted the chickens and made sure that all the windows were closed tightly you ran over to the barn where the cows and goats were in. Your clothes were completely drenched even though the way between the barns was very short, the heavy rain was so strong that there was no way you could’ve stayed dry.

Entering the barn your eyebrows narrowed as you saw that the light was on and the food for the cows was already laid out.

“Uncle Minwoo?”, you screamed loudly, the rain was so loud that otherwise, no one would hear you.

“Oh thank god, there you are,“ the owner of the voice was coming out of the little shed you kept your tools in, throwing one of the milking machines over to you. You barely had time to catch it because Jinyoung was throwing it without caring if you’d catch it or not.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him skeptically as you sat down to the cow next to the one he was currently milking.

He glanced at you with an annoyed expression on his face - but only until he saw how wet you were from the rain. Right then, he bursted out into laughter, “Why are you not wearing a raincoat for fucks sake?” he asked you, enjoying the sight in front of him a little too much.

“I don’t even own one,“ you admitted a bit hesitant while shrugging, knowing he’d make even more fun of you.

And of course, he did.

“How can you not own a raincoat? Seriously, (y/n), you’re something else. Who on earth doesn’t own a raincoat?” he shook his head in disbelief, still laughing.

You simply pressed your lips together, coming back to your actual question, “But why are you here? Certainly not because you wanted to help me.”

“Hey, maybe I’m not as bad as you think and just wanted to be friendly for once?” he said, acting offended, “Since you’re always complaining.”

“Yeah, I doubt that,“ you answered.

Suddenly you heard a loud thunder outside, making you jump - you usually were not afraid of thunder but the sudden loud noise startled you for a second. What really scared you though was the reaction of two of your cows, immediately after they heard the thunder they let out the deepest and loudest sounds you’ve ever heard of them. They sounded terrified.

Jinyoung immediately jumped up from his stool and walked over to Bertha, the small brown cow, petting her face.

“Shhhh, it's okay,“ he tried calming her down before looking over to you, “I’m always here when it storms. Bertha and Marnie are deadly afraid of the thunder, so I accompany them. It calms them down.”

For a second you thought he was fooling you but before you could say something another loud thunder was heard followed by loud sounds of the cows once again. God, you weren't sure if you ever could get used to the sounds they made.

“Wait,“ you interrupted confused as you saw Jinyoung pet Bertha once again, giving her a small kiss on the side of her face, “You’re serious?”

He looked at you with a grin, “Of course I am. Go, pet Marnie a bit. She loves getting pets right under his chin, she’s such a lovely cow.”

You did as he said but not really trusting him yet.

“I didn’t know he had feelings, Marnie, did you know?” you asked the cow sarcastically.

Jinyoung chuckled, shaking his head, “I only have feelings Marnie and Bertha.”

Bertha was walking away from Jinyoung to the hay he just put down for them to lie down for a bit, something you barely ever saw them doing,

“When I first looked into Bertha’s big brown eyes I fell in love.”, he stated lovingly, petting some of the other cows while Bertha was still lying down, „Her eyes are just too pure.“

“That’s adorable.”, you had to admit, “Didn’t expect that from you.”

He scoffed at your remark, “Are you aware that just because I’m telling you you’re stupid because you don’t own a raincoat or work on a farm with a goddamn Gucci shirt doesn't mean I'm an asshole? That’s my way of helping.”, he said confidently, “You just seem to not know exactly what to do, so I’m trying to help.”

„You're still being mean while doing it,“ you insisted, not giving in.

“Whatever,“ he walked over to Bertha, who was resting on the ground, lying down next to her, “Just go inside and relax, I’ll take care of the cows.”

“No way,“ you sat down next to him, “I’ll not leave you alone with my cows. I don’t trust you.”

Of course, that was only an excuse to spend some time with the pretty boy from next door but he didn't need to know – his ego was big enough already. Both of you were now starting to relax slowly, leaning against Bertha, petting her every now and then.

“So, farmer girl, how do you like it here?” he asked you after a few seconds of silence, seeming to be actually interested in you for once.

“It’s nice,“ you shrugged as he was peaking over at you, “I like the fact that I finally am allowed to go into the pub the most.”

“I remember when we first were allowed to go in, it was like Harry Potter seeing Hogwarts for the first time,“ he remembered laughing, “and now we’re the ones that get drunk in there while the younger kids are jealous they can’t.”

“Some things never change, right?“ your eyes darted to Jinyoung, who had his eyes closed and seemed to be truly relaxed in your presence for the first time since you arrived. He was using his arm as a pillow, a smile on his lips - for once a genuine smile, not the usual teasing one he gave you. The rain was pouring so hard onto the roof of the barn it sounded like applause. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, exhaling a breathy scoff through your nose, not believing that Jinyoung actually had a soft side.

“What's so funny?“ he asked curiously, still with closed eyes.

“I just love the sound of heavy rain.”, you said, also getting into a comfortable position and closing your eyes.

Jinyoung let out a hum, agreeing with you before yawning, “Me too. It’s cozy.”

Your eyelids started to feel heavy, you didn’t have much sleep last night and your body was shivering a bit because of your wet clothes. Jinyoung was snoring lightly beside you within a few minutes and before you knew it you were asleep too. You wouldn’t have expected the barn to be such a comfortable place to sleep in.

The sound of someone calling your name, you couldn't quite identify who it belonged to yet, woke you up. As you were slowly starting to realize where you were, you were just as perplexed as Jinyoung, who was still beside you, seeming to just have woken up too, according to his dreamy gaze.

“Did we fall asleep?” he asked you, yawning and stretching his arms from his body.

As you looked up, Bambam was standing in front of both of you, confusion was written all over his face, “What the hell are you two doing in here? How do I keep finding you two together?”

Jinyoung shrugged, sitting up as you were doing the same, “What does it look like? We obviously fell asleep.”

“Okay but why were you here together in the first place?” he asked, a smirk on his lips, “Did you make out in front of the cows? They are too young to be exposed to such wild and unholy behavior.”

Chuckling at his remark, you rubbed your eyes a bit, “Don't be noisy, please. I’m having a headache.”

“You two are just too cute,“ he teased a bit before telling you the reason he was looking for you in the first place, “Dinner’s ready. We’re having some meat with different salads and corn. Feel free to join us, Jinyoung, your mum and Olli are there too.”

“I don’t know,“ he replied, a little unsure, “I still wanted to meet with Jaebeom and Jackson later.”

Bambam narrowed his eyebrows, “Why didn’t you ask me to join, you jerk?”

Jinyoung laughed at Bambam, standing up, surprisingly offering you a hand to help you get up from the ground, “I’ll eat dinner with you and then you can come with me, alright?“ he proposed to Bambam.

Your cousin agreed happily and the three of you walked over to the big house Minwoo and Bambam lived in.

“Did you find her?” your uncle screamed from the kitchen as he heard the door open.

“Yes, I’m here,“ you shouted back as you took off your shoes.

Walking over to them, Mrs. Park was surprised to see her son, “Oh, Jinyoung. How lovely that you’re here,“ she smiled as cute as always, “Where have you been?”

Both, Jinyoung and you felt a bit awkward telling them where Bambam found them, not wanting anyone to get a wrong idea. But, of course, your annoying cousin was faster.

“They were sleeping in the barn together,“ he smirked as he told your family, enjoying every minute of it, “You two seem to get along better by now.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes, “We were literally just taking care of the cows.”

You nodded, “It’s not like we met to take a nap in the barn.”

Uncle Minwoo and Mrs. Park both giggled a bit at the bickering between their families,.“Stop teasing them. They are already flustered,“ she said lightheartedly.

Everyone sat down on the table as your uncle brought the food to the table. It smelled like you were sitting in a restaurant and you could feel your mouth watering as you saw the food.

“Thank you for letting us eat with you,“ Jinyoung politely said.

“Oh, Jinyoung!” Minwoo exclaimed joyfully, “You’re always welcome. We’re like family.”

He nodded thankful as all of you started eating. The food was truly delicious and the conversation was nice, all of you participating in it, talking about current events and life on the farm.

You weren't sure if it was because your families were there but Jinyoung was unusually nice to you, not even nagging you once. He passed you the salt when you asked him to and he even asked you about your job back at home.

It was a nice evening and you cherished it, knowing that it probably was a once in a lifetime experience to have a normal, peaceful conversation with Jinyoung in the same room as you.

About an hour later you started walking from the big house to the small hut and even if it only took a minute or two Jinyoung walked right beside you, not leaving your side. Maybe he truly wasn't as bad as you made him out to be – the two of you might have had some difficulties but thinking about it now he seemed to open up to you more and more. As the two of you stood in front of your door, you fiddled with your hands, not knowing how to react to being all alone with him.

“Don’t let Bambam drink too much tonight. I need him to be fit tomorrow. It’s my day off,“ you joked.

“I promise to stop him if he drinks too much,“ he smiled brightly, the wrinkles around his eyes showing slightly, “I’ll see you around?”

A scoff escaped your lips before you could hold it back, “Considering the fact that you can look inside my living room from your window I think so yes.”

And with that, he started walking towards his house but even after he was gone you still couldn't stop smiling.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

The few next weeks were pretty unspectacular, working on the farm was part of your everyday life by now and your work was a routine, knowing every small step of it. But still, today you woke up with a smile plastered on your face - it’s not like anyone besides Bambam and Minwoo, maybe Jaebeom, would know it’s your birthday today but you still loved your special day. It didn't matter that no one would know, you were quite happy that to everyone else this day would be just another day. You, on the other hand, had tons of self-care plans for tonight.

The first thing you did that morning was checking your phone, happy to see that your friends from home - or more like what used to be home to you - thought of you and send you very nice birthday greetings full of love, telling you that they missed you. In no time you got up and dressed to go over to the main house.

“So, what do you want to do today?” Bambam asked you as you had breakfast with him and your uncle. Despite you telling them that they shouldn't worry about you, they still made you some scrambled eggs and cut a lot of the vegetables from the Park’s farm, Bambam even managed to go to the heart of the city to buy some buns for all of you.

Stretching yourself, tiredness still washing over you, you thought about Bam’s question, “I actually don’t know, I thought I'd just do some sheet masks later and watch Netflix,” you said shrugging before eating a piece of cucumber, “Why? Any ideas?”

“Why don’t you invite your friends over, (y/n)?” your uncle suggested but you’d rather not. The problem with inviting people over is you can’t leave early since they are literally at your own place and you'd never kick them out, not wanting to be unfriendly.

“No way, I don’t even think most people know about my birthday. I’ll stay lowkey about it,“  you denied your uncle's request, just wanting to have a nice night on the couch after you took a long bath - an ideal night for you, “Why don't we have a movie night?”, you suggested to your two family members but they didn’t seem to show much support to your idea.

Uncle Minwoo immediately stopped you, “I’m not letting you stay at home with your old uncle and cousin on your birthday.”

“I’d love that though. We hadn’t had a movie night in a long time,“ you pouted, hoping to convince your uncle despite knowing you had no chance against him.

“Bambam, take her to the pub, alright?” he instructed his son who was currently not listening to the conversation and instead was texting someone.

“Sure,“ he agreed with his father before looking up from his phone, “I’ll take you to the pub later, (y/n). No discussion.”

So a few hours later you found yourself in your small bathroom, putting on a real full face make-up for the first time ever since you moved here, you almost forgot how pretty you could be.

Bam said to make sure that you looked your best since a lot of other people would be there, including the girl he ‘sometimes takes out’, as he liked to call it.

Even though you were still not fully in the mood, you started to warm up to the idea of going out as you got ready. In the end, you knew it wouldn't hurt to doll yourself up and go out every now and then - and maybe, just maybe, Jinyoung would be there too.

Bambam picked you up from your place at around eight in the evening, the sky already pitch-black.

“Hey birthday kid,“ he said lovingly, “I didn't know you could look this lovely. I bet Jinyoung's eyes will fall out when he sees you.”

Throwing him a glare that was about to end his life you were ready to hit your cousin if he wouldn’t stop mentioning your attraction towards your neighbor. You prayed he didn’t tell Jinyoung about it, his ego was big enough and you didn’t know if you could survive if he’d become even cockier. Jinyoung knew how handsome he was and that he could probably get just any girl if he wanted already so you didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

“I’ll kill you if you don’t shut your mouth,“ you threatened him even though you knew that nothing could stop Bambam's teasing ever.

Arriving at the Pub, you couldn’t help but grin like an idiot - all of your friends were waiting inside, a whole booth decorated just for you. Jaebeom was the first to welcome you, hugging you tightly, “Happy Birthday, princess,“ he almost whispered into your ear before the other people were waiting for their turn to congratulate you.

Jackson and Mark were there, including Mark’s girlfriend, that you hadn’t met before. Yugyeom, of course, was there and even gifted you some sunflowers, “Those are my favorite!” you told him excited, to which he replied that he knew.

Bam introduced you to his almost-girlfriend and she seemed to be a nice girl, almost as tall as him, with cute glasses, short blue hair and a nose ring that she pulled off like no one else could, not even Jaebeom. Speaking of him, you noticed a girl sitting next to him and you made a mental note to ask him about her later on – you bet she was more than just a friend. And last but not least Park Jinyoung was standing in front of you, trying to look cold and unbothered like always, but his eyes were sparkling a bit, giving away that he wasn't as cool as he wanted to be.

“You’re here!” you gasped, genuinely excited to see him, “I feel honored.”

He shook his head joyful, “Don’t let it get to your head. Happy birthday, farmer girl,“ for the first time ever Jinyoung hugged you, and you hated to admit that it felt quite comforting - the hug didn’t feel awkward or forced at all, he even had his hand on your head, right in your hair.

Jaebeom and Bambam, who were standing behind Jinyoung, were inspecting the hug you shared, drawing hearts with their fingers in the air for only you to see as you turned almost as red as the Park’s tomatoes.

“(Y/n), we got a present for you! Come on, sit down,” Jackson happily ordered from the table and Jinyoung let you go, way too early for your liking, but you weren’t complaining – you appreciated what you got this far. As you sat down beside Jaebeom, Jinyoung sat right next to you, pretty close since you were sitting on a small bank with five people.

The booth was decorated with a paper chain that spelled “Happy Birthday”, a few presents were waiting for you on the table, right next to many glasses and several bottles of alcohol.

“This one is from me, Jackson and Youngjae,“ Mark said excited, handing you a present. Opening it you couldn’t help but pout at their heartwarming idea: They gifted you a framed picture the four of you when you were little, you were maybe around three to four years old.

„God, we were so small,“ you chuckled, studying the picture.

Jackson smiled wholeheartedly, “There’s a little wheel on the side that you have to move,“ he explained and so you did - as you turned the little wheel more pictures of your friends and you appeared, all of them from different years.

“I love it,“ you smiled at them, “I'll find a special place to display it, I promise.”

“Open our’s next,“ Jaebeom said, an untrustworthy smirk on his face. “It’s from me and Bam.”

Just because you knew the two of you too well, you didn’t trust them at all.

“I bet it’ll get also a very, very special place at your home,“ Bam assured you and you just knew at that point they probably got you something very stupid.

And they did - you let out a deep breath, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Thanks, I really needed that,“ you said sarcastically as you hold the box of the vibrator they gifted you in your hand.

Both of the boys bursted out into laughter, making you sigh, „You think you're so funny, don't you? How old are you? Fourteen?“, you snipped both of their foreheads but still, a chuckle managed to slip out. Not really because you thought the present was funny but more because the boys were so amused by their own idea.

“We know the nights get lonely here,“ Jaebeom said, still laughing like a teenager, “Much fun with it. Just call Jinyoung if you need any help with it.”

“Yeah, no, thanks, I think I can handle that on my own,“ you quickly responded before anyone else could join their nagging, “I really need a shot now. Otherwise, I won't be able to deal with you.”

Jaebeom immediately poured a round of shots for everyone, “To our little (y/n).”

All of your friends clinked glasses and downed the shot. Within a few hours, one shot became quite a few, too many to count them. Bambam and his girl were making out heavily in the corner of the pub – much to your disgust. While you were happy for your cousin you still could imagine better things than seeing your family member's tongue in someone's mouth.

Jaebeom, you, Youngjae, Mark and Jinyoung were currently playing a card drinking game that you not only never heard of before but was also killing you at a fast pace.

“(Y/n), your turn,“ Jinyoung glanced at you, raising his eyebrow – his cheeks were red and the sloppy smile on his face gave away that he also was at least a bit intoxicated by now, “Red or black?”

That was the whole point of the game, basically the only rule. You had to say a color and if the card didn’t have the color you had to take a shot. Youngjae said it was the best game to get really drunk really fast, and boy, he was right.

“Red”, you answered or to be exact, mumbled since you had a hard time pronouncing your words clearly by now.

And, of course, luck wasn’t on your side - as Jinyoung turned around the card it showed black. “Jinyoung,“ you let out a whine as he laughed, “I literally cannot drink this shot or else I’ll throw up.”

Your head was turning and your stomach felt warm and tingly, a part of you suddenly felt playful and giggly, which was pretty unusual for you. Looking at Jinyoung you felt something deep down in your stomach – the way his rather long hair fell into his face and his tanned skin was glowing was a beautiful sight. God, you really wanted to blame it on the booze but deep down you were aware that you were just fooling yourself.

“You’re no fun,“ he almost whined before taking the shot, “I’ll take it for you since it’s your birthday.”

“Oh, what a gentleman you are,“ you nudged him.

“Just trying to get drunk,“ he shrugged laughing before downing the shot as if it was nothing.

Your glance waved over to Yugyeom, who was maybe the drunkest, his eyes slowly closing. “Yugyeom!” you poked his upper arm, not sure if you should laugh or be concerned, “Are you passing out?”

“Hmm?” he responded, trying to open his eyes but failing, “Oh no. I’m just taking a nap.”

You peeked to Jinyoung beside you, questioning him what to do, “Are you going to babysit him?”

He scoffed, “That isn’t my problem to deal with.”

About two hours later you decided that it was time to go home, having to admit that you did have fun despite wanting to stay home at first. You thanked everyone and grabbed your bag.

“What about you?” you asked Jinyoung who was sitting on his phone, texting someone with his eyebrows furrowed, “You’re staying?”

His eyes met yours as he looked up from his phone, “No, I’m walking you home. Give me a second.”

You decided to wait outside, in need of some fresh air to sober you up.

Slowly, you started to walk towards your home, knowing Jinyoung would be able to catch up in no time. And he did, of course.

“Oh!” Jinyoung looked at you with wide eyes as he arrived by your side, before opening his bag, looking for something, “It’s your birthday!”

“No shit, Sherlock,“ you responded unimpressed at his sudden realization, walking through the little city at night, still not used to how beautiful the stars were here, „You just got that now?“

“No, wait. I actually got you something,“ the boy mumbled and you thought you heard wrong for a second. At least until Jinyoung handed you a box, a rather big one.

“Are you serious?” you asked surprised, suddenly feeling shy. This morning you were convinced he didn’t even know it was your birthday but now he was standing in front of you, with a present that was neatly wrapped in yellow wrapping paper.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it, please,“ he rolled his eyes as you two walked through the dark night, only a few lanterns on your way home, “Just open it. It felt wrong not to get you anything. I mean, we’re neighbors now, and also co-workers.”

Your arm nudged him, playfully asking, “Maybe even friends?”

His laugh seemed to be even louder and happier when he’s drunk, “Says who? You wish!” before immediately adding, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Maybe even that. Now open it. Let’s sit down.“

Your neighbor gestured at the bank on the side of the way, a few steps away.

He took out his phone to turn on the flashlight so you could see, sitting dangerously close to you. “Why didn’t you give it to me earlier?” you asked him curiously.

“You know, I gotta keep my cool reputation in front of them,“ he joked.

“Ah, can’t let them know that you have a crush on me?”, you blurted out, trying to flirt, knowing you would never say those things if it wasn’t for all the shots you drank earlier.

“You’re a pain in the ass,“ he mocked you a bit, “Will you please just open it now? There are a few smaller things.”

As you ripped open the wrapping paper you let out a laugh, impressed by his first present, “A raincoat? I could’ve seen that one coming.”

“I still can’t believe you don’t own one. Look underneath, there’s also a shirt you can use for work so you won’t ruin your good clothes,“ he said, almost proud of his idea and it was adorable.

The shirt was grey and oversized - and also, there was a picture printed onto it. Jinyoung let out another laugh, covering his mouth with his hand to stop him from laughing harder, before you could see what was on it.

As he shined his flashlight on the picture you were not only extremely amused but also very amazed that he did that for you, even though he obviously was trying to be funny, you genuinely liked it - the picture was a selfie of Jinyoung, giving a thumbs up, right next to his favorite being on this earth, Bertha. Underneath the picture the sentence ‘(Y/n), you can do it. I hope.’ was written in big letters.

“You’re seriously the worst,“ you joined his laughter, wondering how in the hell he got this idea. The atmosphere was almost friendly – a new step for the two of you. Not that you didn’t like him before, you just thought that he didn’t like you back.

“I think you’ll look quite good in it, (y/n),“ he smiled proudly, definitely satisfied with himself.

“You’re such a flirt,“ you said sarcastically.

The last gift in the box really got to you though - it immediately brought back a lot of memories, cherished ones, of your childhood. An overwhelming rush of sentiment came over you as you couldn't believe your eyes.

“Jinyoung, I,”, you were looking for the right words to say but none came to your head, “is it what I think it is?”

“If you think it’s your old music box that played Somewhere Over The Rainbow over and over again, then it is, yes,“ he replied, playing it cool as if it wasn't a big thing.

You totally forgot about it until now, back in the day you always used to play it before going to bed, falling asleep immediately to the soothing sound of it – back then it didn't matter where you were: you wouldn't fall asleep without the petite woodbox playing your favorite song.

“Where did you even get this?“ you asked him, gulping.

“Oh, Minwoo gave it to me to calm the cows on thunder days,“ he said amused.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,“ you chuckled, still inspecting the music box. It seemed to be even prettier than you remembered it.

“Do you like it?” he asked, turning towards you, “I know how obsessed you were with it as a child so I thought you’d like to have it back. The cows didn’t like it anyway.”

Your eyes met his, not knowing what to say. He was so cool about it when to you, this might be one of the most meaningful presents you've gotten in a long time. The fact that he even remembered how in love you were with this music box and how thoughtful of him it was to give it back to you. Slowly you put the box down, still feeling a bit overwhelmed. It was probably stupid, for him it was just a simple present and you were overreacting, right? But still, it was so much more than you would’ve expected. Especially from him

“I love it, Jinyoung,“ you assured him, the wrinkles around his eyes deeper than you’ve ever seen them before. “Thank you so much.”

Before he could say something to ruin the moment you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in his collar. It took him a few moments to realize what was happening, a hug was something he didn’t expect at all, but it did feel nice. His arms carefully found your waist and hugged you back.

You could see how red his cheeks were as your hug ended but for once you decided to not tease him, not wanting to ruin a genuinely nice moment. The two of you didn’t have those very often.

“Shall we go home?” Jinyoung asked softly as he stood up, waiting for you to join him.

The two of you were walking for a while, way slower than usual. It might be the alcohol in your veins or simply the secret desire to spend some more time together, alone and outside of the farm.

“Be honest,“ you started carelessly, it almost sounded like you were singing it, “You do think I’m cute.”. Looking up to Jinyoung you saw that he was smiling and didn’t seem to care about your teasing anymore.

“I do think you’re cute. That doesn’t make you less any annoying though,“ he replied, his tone almost playful. As you were walking your shoulders were lightly brushing every now and then, a rush of excitement going through your body every single time.

“Now you be honest. You were totally checking me out when you saw me on the day you moved here,“ he countered, the conversation light.

You let out a small scoff, “I maybe would have if I hadn’t been to busy trying to free myself from your grip since you thought I was stealing your chicken,“ you snapped at him and Jinyoung let out a laugh at that memory. Even though it wasn’t long ago it felt like years, considering how much your relationship developed since then.

“Your turn. You would’ve gone home sooner but you were waiting to walk me home,“ the vibe Jinyoung gave you told you it was okay to dig a bit deeper.

“Now you’re just being overconfident, (y/n),“ he laughed and you thought about how his laugh is so different than his mum’s. His mother's laugh was light and charming while his laugh was deep and full of joy, almost bold and loud.

“If you say I’m wrong you’re lying,“ you insisted while looking up to the beautiful night sky, not letting loose. Even though you were a bit cold you didn’t really care, you could walk and talk for a few more hours without complaining.

“I never said you’re wrong,“ he answered quietly, now more soft and serious, “But don’t let it get to your head, I know my mum would kill me if she heard that you had to walk home alone.”

“You’re so in love with me dude, how gross,“ you joked, not able to stop your usual nagging. By now it seemed like that was Jinyoung’s and your’s thing somehow. It was an open secret that there was something between the two of you, whatever that was. Maybe, you and Jinyoung were still denying it but your friends weren't completely wrong when they talked about your relationship to each other.

“I really don’t know if I wanna shove you off this bridge or kiss your annoying ass,“ he stated shamelessly, trying to sound annoyed but his mood was just as good as yours and the cheeky flirting was something he missed over the last years. It’s been too long since he met someone he liked so much that he didn’t have to care about what he said. Spending time with you made him feel careless. The night air and the sky that was full of stars just loosened up the mood even more.

Even though your heart was beating faster at his comment you tried to remain cool – he said it so casually as if the topic of kissing you was something completely normal to him, making you realize that maybe Jinyoung and you were indeed becoming something more than friends, “Oh, can I pick?”, you grinned at him.

“No,“ he answered easily while pushing you towards the edge of the bridge you were currently walking on, making you gasp a bit, while trying to balance yourself so you wouldn’t fall over the low wooden railing.

What exactly was he doing? Just in the right moment, he held you, his arm around your waist, being a bit too close to you which was making your heart beat insanely fast. As you looked at him your eyes were opened wide, the shock written all over your face.

Jinyoung still was holding you close, giving you the brightest smile ever, his expression full of joy, “Did you really think that I’d let you fall?”

“Yes!“ you almost shouted out of shock, a hundred percent sure that he’d actually do something like that, “If anyone in this town would then it would be you.”

He acted a bit offended, as he pulled your body a bit closer to his again, your intestines feeling all over the place. Half of your body was still bent over the bridge as Jinyoung’s hold was the only support that stopped you from falling right into the water. His face came near yours and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on yours.

“Well, if you think that lowly of me,“ he started, before pausing his sentence, you could swear that you could feel his breath tingling on your lips and see his eyes wandering down to look at your them - but before anything else could happen you started losing balance as Jinyoung let go of your body, making you fall right into the lake behind you.

Of course, he’d do something like that. You should've guessed that.

As you came up again you were drenched. The water was at least still warm enough to not make you shiver while climbing up to the bridge again. Jinyoung was laughing wholeheartedly, his one hand once again covering his mouth, while holding his other hand out for you so he could help you. You immediately took his offer, taking a tight grip on his hand before getting your revenge – within seconds Jinyoung forcefully joined you in the water, his eyes popping out when you completely caught him off guard.

“I should’ve seen that coming,“ he admitted, now also completely wet but still amused, “I deserved that.”

The two of you were chuckling, no one of you seemed to want to get out of the water for now. “Remember the one time we were having a contest here about who can stay underwater the longest when we were children?” you asked him thinking back to older days, one of the few memories you had with him.

He nodded while walking towards you, leaning his back against the bridge. His body was close to yours, his face facing yours, “I remember you and Bambam being afraid because you thought I fainted because I let my body swim on the surface with my head under the water still.”

Hitting his chest, you squinted your eyes, “You were the worst, seriously! Why would you do this to me? I was so afraid.”

His arm found your hip, resting lazily on it - you wondered if he’d also do that if he was completely sober, “To make good memories.”

“Well, that’s also about our only memory because you always avoided me when we were younger,“ you stated, a bit salty.

His laughter sounded different this time, if you didn’t know better you’d almost say there was some kind of admiration in it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,“ he apologized, putting his hands up in the air, still laughing before looking at you once again - it’s like you completely forgot about being in the water now in the middle of the night.

“Wanna know a secret?” he asked you, whispering as if you had to be careful to not get caught.

“Always,“ you answered eager as your eyes widened in excitement.

“I avoided you because I had the biggest crush on you and Jaebeom always said girls suck and if anyone of us ever kissed a girl they’d be kicked out of the gang,“ he admitted, smiling back at the memory.

“Okay, but Jaebeom was literally my first kiss,“ you confessed to him, “I think he knew exactly why he told you that.”

Now it was Jinyoung who was in shock, not you. “You’re kidding me,“ he sounded offended, “I can’t believe he’d play me like this because of some chick.”

“Hello? I’m right here,“ you growled, shaking your head amused.

“Oh, I bet you’d rather be where Jaebeom is, huh?” he stared you down for a second before breaking character and starting to laugh, “But seriously, he never even told me. He knew I’d fight him about it.”

“It must be hard to always be as dramatic as you are,“ you scoffed, as you got out of the water again, starting to shiver a bit, “Let’s go home, I’m cold.”

He got out of the water too and you tried hard not to stare at his chest that was completely showing through his white shirt.

“You should have put on a jacket,“ he shrugged, acting as if it's your fault that you were completely drenched and cold.

“You little shit,“ you countered as the two of you were walking towards your home, “I’m only cold because you pushed me into the lake.”

“I had fun tonight,“ you admitted to him as you were standing in front of your door once again, “You’re not awful.”

“Thank you?”, he laughed unsure before he continued, “You’re also not awful, (y/n).”

“I mean, you were not the nicest in the beginning, I thought you hated me. But now, I think you tolerate me,“ you said, a winning smile on your face.

“Believe it or not, I think you’re pretty cool,” he mirrored your smile, nodding.

“I’ll let my diary know about that,” you assured him.

He just stood there for a second, looking at you. Both of you didn’t want to part, enjoying time with each other but you didn’t want things to get awkward.

“I’m sorry I pushed you into the water,“ he mentioned, laughing while apologizing.

You rolled your eyes at his half-assed apology, “Yeah sure. You better make up for that.”

He nodded, “I will. Good night, (y/n),“ suddenly you felt him hugging you, not expecting it once again. Three hugs in one day were something you didn’t expect at all when you woke up this morning.

“Sleep well,“ you told him as you closed the door behind you, removing your make up, changing into comfortable clothes and letting yourself fall into your bed, falling asleep with a smile on your lips. You were definitely making progress.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

A few days after your birthday and the situation with Jinyoung it was about time to talk to someone about your confusing feelings. Jaebeom was the first person that came to your mind, definitely not wanting to talk to Bambam about it. As the two of you were sitting outside on your porch, drinking a beer and enjoying the sunset slowly going down, you decided to tell him about what happened after you and Jinyoung left on your birthday.

“He gifted you your old music box?” he asked confused, almost shocked, “That’s so much better than the vibrator we gifted you, dammit.”

You let out a laugh, “Anything is better than that.”

“Well, apparently you won’t be needing it any time soon if you and Jinyoung continue to fall in love at that pace,“ your best friend gave you a small wink.

“Jaebeom,“ you let out a pout, “I really don’t know what I should do. He was about to kiss me by the lake but instead, he let me fall into the water.”

He was trying his hardest to contain his laughter as you told the story but he couldn’t help it, “You really think he’s the one you want? I bet not even Yugyeom would behave that awkward.”

Chuckling, you shrugged, “I guess I just like a challenge.”

Jaebeom nodded, “He definitely is one. Bear with him, it’s been some time. His last girlfriend and him broke up quite some time ago.”

When Jaebeom mentioned the word gilfriend you felt curiosity awakening inside of you, “How was she?”

Taking a sip of his beer, he glanced at you, a bit pitiful, “Are you sure you wanna do this to yourself?”

“I’m just curious,“ you assured him, „No hard feelings.“

Before Jaebeom could start telling you about her you were disturbed by your cousin, who just finished his work, a beer in his hand as he sat down on the free chair on your table, „What are you talking about?”

“My hopeless crush,“ you said, laughing.

“What else,“ he shrugged, unimpressed, “You could still date Yugyeom, you know.”

You shook your head before turning back to Jaebeom, “So, tell me about her, I can’t imagine him with a girl at all.”

“Are we talking about Elly?” Bambam asked confused, trying to catch up with your conversation.

“Yes.”, Jaebeom said, trying to start once again before getting interrupted by Bambam, also once again. “She wasn’t shit, (y/n). Don’t worry about her. I never liked her. They weren’t even really a couple.”

Jaebeom rolled his eyes, “She wasn’t all bad, Bam. She was actually quite nice at the beginning. She’s from the town next to ours, the granddaughter of the owner of the library - we were friends with her back then when she still visited every weekend. I guess she was into Jinyoung from the first second and he was, well, frustrated. So they became friends with benefits. Nothing too serious at first.”

“(Y/n), I really don’t get why you’d wanna know. You’ll just hurt yourself,“ your cousin seemed to worry, clearly disagreeing with your curiosity.

“They broke up so I won’t be hurt, I just can’t imagine him in a relationship at all. I need some information for research,“ you argued.

“He was a good boyfriend, I guess,“ Bambam thought about it, taking a big gulp of his beer, “Like he visited her often and made sure to bring her to every event or birthday. But one of them would always start a fight and it got so annoying over time. Every time he brought her I was afraid to say anything to him because if I only said one wrong word she’d start to discuss with him.”

Jaebeom now interrupted him, “Well, it wasn’t only her who started fights, to be fair. Jinyoung often enough started one too, whenever he was in a bad mood he’d always find a reason to fight.”

A scoff came out of your mouth, “I already thought he’d be one to pick fights, to be honest.”

“Speaking of the devil,“ Jaebeom nodded towards the house of the Park’s and as you turned around you saw Jinyoung jogging over to you. He seemed to be in a good mood, a smile on his lips, something rather unusual.

“Why are you having a nice evening and no one cared to call me?” he asked as he arrived in front of you, holding up a big plate with many different pieces of cakes on it, “I brought cake.”

Bambam immediately took the plate and set it down in front of him as Jinyoung sat down on the free seat on the bench beside you.

“We were just talking shit about you,“ Bambam started, getting up to get some forks from inside.

“Why? What did I do?” he asked, already sounding offended, ready to defend himself without knowing what even seemed to be the problem.

“I just told them about how you let me fall into the lake,“ you huffed, salty, not letting it go easily.

“Why would you do that?” he asked in a whiny tone, “Aren’t they teasing us enough already?”

“I don’t care about that. I still can’t believe you’ve done that. I could’ve caught a cold.”

He now crossed his arms in front of his chest, “You didn’t though, right? I brought you cake as an apology, just to find you hanging out with our friends, without me?”

Jaebeom let out a laugh at your constant bickering, “Young love must be so nice.”

“Be quiet,“ you gave Jaebeom a warning glance before you turned back to the real enemy here, “You think cake can just fix the trust I lost in you?”

He let out a laugh, “You’re being overdramatic.”

Actually, you couldn’t care less that he let you fall into the lake. It was just fun to pick fights with him, “You’re being an asshole.”

He scoffed before continuing your discussion in a mocking voice, “Wanted me to kiss you so bad that you can’t get over the fact that I didn’t?”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting his comeback. Jaebeom and Bambam were both trying no to laugh watching the two of you fight.

“If you think that, you’re truly delusional,“ you stated, even though everyone here knew he was right, “The only reason I didn’t kill you right then was because I was so relieved you didn’t kiss me.”

He snorted, not ready to give up yet, “Sure, just keep on telling it to yourself until you start to believe it.”

And this is how you spent the rest of the evening. Three of your closest friends, cake, one or two or maybe even more beers, a beautiful pink sunset and most important - in the place you loved to call your home.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

“(Y/n), give me a hand, please,“ your neighbor screamed from the other side of the farm, struggling to put up the pavilion that was supposed to cover the tables from the weather. It was a warm autumn day but you knew that it could basically start to pour any second. Quickly you jogged over to Jinyoung, leaving Bambam alone with the other preparations for the big harvest festival that was held once a year on the farm. It was a tradition you used to love as a child and you were more than happy to participate again this year.

As you walked over you couldn’t help but notice how mesmerizing he looked once again. There was sweat dripping down his face while he gave you a light and exhausted chuckle, holding up one side of the pavilion with his rather strong arms. The white shirt and grey sweatpants he was wearing might as well be the death of you. Oh god, you definitely hated being attracted to him. 

“What’s up, Park?” you asked, desperately trying to sound as unbothered as possible.

He, on the other hand, continued to smile, shaking his head, “Can you please hold up the other side over there?” he asked, pointing to it, “I’ll do the rest.”

You went over and held up the other side, having to stand on your tiptoes. “Are you excited for tonight?” you asked him, desperate to make conversation with him. Even though by now Jinyoung was being very nice to you, at least as nice as Jinyoung could be, you were still always trying to make him like you. Even though Bambam and Jaebeom assured you he likes you quite a lot by now you still wanted him to admit to it. His attention was your favorite thing at the moment.

He shrugged while concentrating on a screw he was currently trying to get in, “Not really. It’s not gonna be different than any other year.”

“I’m here now so it is gonna be different than before,” you said, making him look up from his work for a second, his eyes finding yours.

“So, you’re going to make the harvest festival interesting again?” you saw the smirk on his face before continuing, “Don’t get up my hopes.”

“Share a bottle of liquor with me and I bet we’ll have a lot of fun,” you stated boldly, immediately embarrassed at your way too obvious flirting. At this point, you were sure that Jinyoung was very aware of your obvious crush on him - he was many things. Rude, annoying, sometimes even a bit mean but delusional wasn’t one of them.

“Are you flirting with me, (y/n) (y/l/n)?” he asked almost a bit teasingly.

“I am,” you said, trying to sound confident but you were pretty sure your now deep red cheeks were giving you away.

He seemed to be amused and he shook his head in what seemed to be joy. 

“Not bad,” was all he said, shrugging before his full attention was back on building the pavilion. 

You looked around the big farm as Jinyoung was working. It looked beautiful, there were a lot of tables with benches, all of them had some flowers and candles on top of them, you could only imagine how cute it would look as soon as the sky was dark and all the candles were lit. Bambam was currently preparing some baskets filled with eggs, milk, some wool, all different kinds of fruits and vegetables and even some feathers you picked up from the pond where the ducks stayed as a lucky charm - your uncle and Jinyoung’s mother would sell them later on, the people always loved those little baskets. Jinyoung’s mother was inside, preparing food for the night. She was overdoing herself, cooking four different kinds of soups, baking too many loaves of bread for the visitors to eat, she even has been baking all kind of cakes since yesterday night. 

“Your mum is an angel,” you mumbled more to yourself than to him but Jinyoung still heard you, laughing a bit.

“She just really loves the harvest festival. But yes, I agree, she really is,” he answered without looking at you, “There’s gonna be plenty of leftovers tomorrow, I’ll bring you some if you want.”

You nodded even though he didn’t see, “I’d love that.”

“Hey, (y/n)!” Gus, the owner of the restaurant, came up to you. He drove up here in his truck, the whole back of it filled with different meals that he contributed for tonight, “Where should I put the fish and meat?”

Jinyoung told you that you could leave and help Gus for now so you showed him where the food was being served. There was a long in the middle of the farm, where Gus’ and Mrs. Parks’ food was going to be sold later on. It was opposite to the little dancefloor your uncle built earlier, he even got a pretty good sound system for the night. You already anticipated seeing all of the older people dance later, it was always very cute to you. All the tables to sit on were placed in between the dancefloor and the food. 

As you were helping Gus’ to carry the food you saw Jaebeom and his parents coming up to you. It was a funny sight, seeing how much taller Jaebeom was than both of his parents.

“Hey cutie,” your best friend greeted you as he put down the three beer crates he was casually caring like they didn’t weigh anything, “How are things going?”

“I’m really excited for tonight,” you cheered with a wide smile on your lips, “My last harvest festival was years ago, I still had to go to bed at eight o’clock at that time.”

He let out a laugh, “Oh, that’s when the fun is just starting.”

You only managed to finish all the work an hour before the first people came to the festival. Within no time the whole farm was filled with people as the sun was slowly going down.

You didn’t expect so many people to actually show up. Not only the whole village was attending tonight’s fest but a lot of them also brought their family from out of town, a lot of faces you’ve never seen before. It luckily didn’t rain yet and you were hoping it would stay that way for the rest of the night. The sky was dark now and all the candles were lit, making the atmosphere cozy. People were eating, drinking and enjoying themselves, some even danced to the 80′s music that was playing already. You were sitting on the side of a table, just looking around and appreciating everything as a few of your friends came up to you.

“Don’t you wanna eat something?” Yugyeom asked you, nodding towards the table with the food, “We were just about to grab something, join us.”

“Let’s also grab a drink or two,” your cousin, who clearly already had more than just ‘a drink or two’, his bright pink cheeks exposing him, shouted as he came up behind Yugyeom, Jaebeom and Jaebeom’s girlfriend.

Your mouth watered as you saw, and especially smelled, the food that was offered. Now you were very thankful that you didn’t have the time to eat all day. All the food looked amazing and you didn’t even know where to start. Jackson and Mark both went for the meat but you wanted to start with something more light for now, looking at all the soups Mrs. Park made.

“Try mum’s Italian wedding soup, it’s the best,” you flinched lightly as Jinyoung suddenly came up behind you out of nowhere, his arm casually resting on your shoulder. 

You tried to play it cool in front of your friends but inside you were all tense, just because of Jinyoung being so close to you. “I’ll have that then,” you agreed, telling his mother who was handing out food tonight. Both you and Jinyoung offered her to help out earlier but she insisted that you should just enjoy the evening.

“Of course, darling,” she poured some of the soup into a big cup, giving you and her son a wide smile, “You two look just adorable together.”

You felt yourself blushing but you were pretty sure that no one would notice in the dark. 

“Right? We’ve been telling them the whole time,” Jackson joined, excitement in his eyes, agreeing with his friends’ mother. You heard a deep, frustrated groan from Jinyoung.

“Guys,” he squinted his eyes at both of them with a warning glance but he still was resting his arm on you, not even thinking about removing it, “Can you mind your own business? Just for once?”

Jaebeom chuckled at the two of you, knowing exactly that you were trying your hardest to keep your cool, “You know they won’t leave you alone until something happens.”

He was right. But you weren’t sure if and when things would happen. And what those things even would be. When it came to Jinyoung you felt more clueless than ever before. Not even your math class in senior year seemed that confusing.

“Yeah, because no one in this town knows how to respect the boundaries of other people,” Jinyoung bitterly said through gritted teeth, slightly annoyed but everyone just let out a laugh, not taking him seriously, thinking it’s funny that he gets so worked up over some simple teasing.

“I’m sorry (y/n),” Mrs. Park turned towards you, apologizing, but you could still see a little amused smile on her lips, “I hope I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t mind at all,” you assured her, “Don’t apologize.”

“I’ll go and get us something to drink,” Jaebeom offered after he got some food, his lips already pressed against his girlfriend’s neck again before turning to you, “Save us a seat.”

You waited for the rest to get something to eat and wondered what was suddenly going on with Jinyoung, he wasn’t leaving your side at all which was pretty unusual for him. Last week he was still too afraid to give you a birthday present in front of the boys and now he was suddenly even touching you in front of everyone?

“I’m sorry,” he whispered for only you to hear as all of you were looking for a table to sit on. On the way, he let go of you but still was walking right next to you. Not that you minded, you enjoyed the sudden attention he was giving you, you just had to get used to it. 

“What for?” you asked him, shrugging lightly, “I don’t care if the guys tease us. They think we’re into each other, they won’t stop anyway.”

“Well, they aren’t so dumb after all, huh?” he still whispered to you, chuckling a bit as he turned around to the others, pointing to a free table, “Let’s sit down over there.”

This little shit was flirting with you. 

The soup was amazing. The alcohol was pouring. The atmosphere was loud and filled with banter and laughter. Jaebeom and his girl were making out in front of everyone in no time, literally being all over each other. Jackson, Yugyeom and Bambam were screaming along to ‘Come on Eileen’ playing in the background, doing those stupid fortnite dances to the old music, constantly motivating each other to do stupid moves and having the time of their lives. Mark was talking to his girlfriend, the majority of your friends still had no idea that they were actually dating and you wondered how they managed to keep it a secret in such a small town like this. You were just laughing, enjoying everyone’s presence - an evening like this was exactly what you needed, full of friends and possibilities to make amazing memories. 

Looking back at the fact that in the beginning, you were so afraid to start a new life here was ridiculous by now - this was your home, you were doing the thing you love with people you wouldn’t trade for anything. Not in a hundred years would you have thought that you’d find your happiness in this small town.

You carefully dared to look over to Jinyoung, hoping he wouldn’t catch you staring - you felt tingly, it might be the wine or the butterflies in your stomach but you felt so much comfort and happiness that you wanted to explode. The way he was laughing was making you go insane - you got lost in the wrinkles around his eyes and his side profile that seemed to be the most perfect thing you’ve ever seen. It was so nice and rare to see him letting go, being completely relaxed and warm. The longer you looked at him the more you craved something deep down in your stomach.

It felt like you were in a movie, the world around you blurred and slowing down while all you could concentrate on was the guy next to you - the guy, that used to be so cold to you and opened up step by step, going from thinking you were stealing chickens to flirting with you in front of everyone. You secretly hoped that the two of you were figuring out the future of your relationship sooner than later, slowly growing impatient. It was obvious to anyone who’d spent only five minutes around you: There was an undeniable tension, a chemistry that both of you felt.

Still staring at him while everyone was laughing and talking he stole a glance from you, seeing that your attention was already completely on him. His features softened as soon as his eyes met yours and the big laughter on his face turned into a small but impactful smile - immediately you felt a rush of confidence running through your veins, your heart beating faster. You hated how you were literally melting for him but you knew exactly that you couldn’t fight it so you might as well let him in.

His eyes were still locked with yours, no one daring to break eye contact. You wondered how this moment could feel so intimate when there were literally 200 people gathered around you - it felt like you were all alone, everyone else was busy cracking jokes while the two of you were busy falling in love. Or at least that was what it felt like. 

He gave you a small nod before sitting a bit closer to you, your thighs now touching. “Stop flirting with me. I might just break my cool character and blush,” he joked, making you chuckle before the two of you brought your attention back to your friends who were currently cheering for Bambam and Yugyeom, both trying to down their beer faster than the other one. You shook your head, letting out a laugh at them being messy. Jinyoung’s hand sneakily rested on your lower back and you hoped it would stay there for a while.

Bambam finished first and laughed at Yugyeom, who was still drinking, “Oh, I can’t believe you thought you could win against me. I’m the king when it comes to drinking,” he bragged.

Jaebeom, who was for once breaking free from his girlfriend, shook his head at Bambam, “You’re overconfident. Jinyoung, finish him.”

Jinyoung let out a groan, “Don’t make me do this.”

“Let’s go Jinyoungie, I bet I can beat you easily,” Bambam challenged him, knowing exactly how to provoke his friend.

“Dude, don’t do this to yourself, you’ll lose,” Jackson yelled, “No one can beat Jinyoung, you should know that.”

“I trained. And Jinyoung didn’t show off his skills in a long time, I think you’re underestimating me,” he insisted, opening another bottle of beer and putting it down in front of Jinyoung.

“Bambam, take it easy. It’s your fourth beer in what? Twenty minutes?” you interrupted, “I don’t wanna clean up all alone tomorrow because you are dying.”

“It’s harvest festival (y/n),” he whined while opening another bottle of wine for you, pouring something into your glass, “You gotta start learning how we do it here.”

Jinyoung shook his head, letting out another deep sigh, “You have no chance against me,” he held up his beer and waited for Bambam to do the same.

Bambam had a satisfied smile on his lips, ready to give it his all, “I’m going to fight for your title.”

Jinyoung let out a laugh, “That’s cute. Much luck trying.”

All of you were counting down from three and the guys started chugging down the beer like it was a life or death situation. It was stupid and childish but all of you were enjoying it, rooting for Jinyoung. If all of your friends could agree on one thing then it would be that Bambam needs to be taken down back to earth every now and then.

You looked at him, your mouth slightly open. One thing you definitely didn’t know about Jinyoung was how fast he could drink. He always seemed like the most reasonable and mature guy so you were kind of taken by surprise to see how he downed the bottle in the matter of a few seconds.

“Ha!” he let out, laughing as he put his bottle down, “You’re a fool, dude.”

Bambam let out a laugh, shrugging, “Never thought I had a chance, just wanted you to drink a bit. Who’s the fool now?”

“I didn’t know you could drink like that,” you turned to Jinyoung.

“This guy used to get so wasted every weekend, he just acts all pure in front of you,” Mark exposed his friend laughing.

You raised your eyebrow at Jinyoung, “Oh, let’s see who can handle more then, shall we?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened surprised, not expecting you to challenge him when it comes to drinking, “You might regret that.”

“I don’t mind regretting a thing or two,” you poured the two of you some shots.

“That’s the spirit,” Bambam cheered, opening another bottle of beer.

Jinyoung and you were clinking glasses, “To Bertha!” he mentioned his favorite before both of you downed the shots, making a grimace as the bitter liquor went down your throat.

“That shit tastes horrible,” you stated, making him laugh.

“No one said getting drunk is easy,” he countered before immediately pouring you another shot, “But you wanted this. We can stop if you can’t take it, you know.”

“Definitely not,” you scoffed raising your eyebrow at him and holding up the shot glass, “It’s going to be a long, long night.”

“Oh, don’t promise what you can’t keep,” he flirted amused, laughing at you before getting ready to down the next shot, “To you and me.”

Nodding, you gave him a smile, “Whatever that might mean.”

You didn’t know what was faster: The time flying by or your alcohol level rising. It was around midnight now and the night just started. All of you were still drinking eagerly, sharing stupid stories and daring each other to do even more stupid things. The music was loud and the older people were dancing like there’s no tomorrow while you were still sitting at the table, playing cards and taking videos and photos of each other.

Some other girls around your age joined your group, you didn’t know them but the rest did. It was a nice group of people overall.

You still were watching the elders dance, smiling to yourself as your uncle and Jinyoung’s mum were dancing with each other, seemingly having the best time.

“Aren’t they cute?” Jinyoung turned to you with a grin, his hand resting right above your knee, slightly squeezing it. You could tell the alcohol had its impact on him because he was getting more touchy by minute, his eyes sparkling. 

You nodded, feeling a bit nostalgic seeing them together. They always have been close, both of them lost their significant others early and were left with their children and a whole farm to manage. “It’s nice that they’re having fun. I wish they’d take a break more often.”

Jinyoung hummed in agreement, his thumb caressing your leg, “I’m happy Mum has Minwoo. They are always there for each other and talk shit about me and Bambam,” he joked, his eyes still glued to his mother.

He was clearly adoring their little dance while you were adoring him.

“He’s really grateful you’re here.”, you didn’t expect Jinyoung to be so serious, a new side of him showing.

“I like being here. Wouldn’t go back,” you told him as you put your hand on top of his, appreciating the moment.

His eyes met yours, not thinking you’d hold his hand in front of everyone, even though no one could see, “You do? I didn’t think you’d fit in or like it here at first if I am honest.”

You let out a laugh, “Yeah, I know. You were very vocal about that if you don’t remember our first encounter as I came back.”

He joined your laughter, giving you an apologetic pout, “I’m sorry. I was being a bit rough, wasn’t I?”

You nodded, “Didn’t expect anything else though. You never opened up towards me when we were younger,” you explained to him in a soft voice, you didn’t want to hurt him with your words.

“I just wondered why you’d move here. I thought it was stupid. What does this little town offer you?” he asked curiously, his eyes glued back to your family.

“This, for example,” you gestured to them, “It’s very heartwarming here. You might not realize because you’ve always been here but this town is full of love.”

Jinyoung narrowed his eyebrows a bit, “I bet the actual reason you like it so much here is this cute neighbor of yours.”

You scoffed at his confidence, “Oh, you mean that Jinyoung guy? No, he’s just too busy loving himself, I doubt he could ever make time to let someone else in.”

He opened his mouth a bit, acting shocked, “Didn’t you hear?”, he asked you, turning his body to you now to completely face you, “Everyone says he’s a total sucker for you.”

Playing along, you slightly brushed your knees against his, “I don’t think so,” you let out a sigh, “Last week he had the perfect chance to kiss me but instead he threw me into the lake.”

He grinned, not expecting you being so witty. “I’m sure he was just nervous and regrets it very much.”

“I wonder what your sources are. They don’t seem very trustworthy. You know that guy, he has a heart made of stone.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” he came closer to whisper in your ear, “He’s actually a soft man inside.”

“(Y/n)!” your cousin screamed over to you, clearly drunk, ruining your little moment with Jinyoung, “Let's go, dance with your favorite cousin.”

You sighed heavily, knowing that refusing won’t work even though you didn’t want the playful banter with Jinyoung to end. So a few seconds later you found yourself on the dance floor, jamming to the old classics with your favorite human in town. Jinyoung and Jaebeom might be close, but no one would beat your family.

The two of you danced around like crazy, exaggerating every move, having fun without any worries for a few songs.

That was until you saw Bambam looking over to the rest of your group, his eyebrows narrowing, a mixture of confusion and anger in his eyes - his jaw clenched as he was glaring somewhere. You followed his gaze to see Jinyoung talking to a girl you didn’t know. You didn’t think anything of it at first, he didn’t seem very close to her, maybe even a bit uncomfortable.

“That little shit,” your cousin raised his voice, looking at you, “He better doesn’t do anything stupid.”

You threw him a questioning look, no idea what was going on, “What do you mean? They’re just talking.”

He shook his head, “That’s Elly. Elly and Jinyoung are never just talking.“

His ex. What did this mean to you? You didn’t feel jealous somehow. The evening was fine, Jinyoung was clearly giving all of his attention to you, the two of you weren’t dating, you didn’t even kiss yet. Of course, you hoped that this would change sooner or later, your feelings for him were undeniable at this point and part of you thought that they weren’t one-sided.

Before you said anything, Bambam was losing his temper, “He can’t treat you like this, (y/n). I’m going to talk to him.”

You laughed at his clearly drunken state, shaking your head, “No no, I can manage my relationships alone, don’t worry.”

He tried to look you in the eyes, failing slightly. You were pretty sure that if you’d ask him to touch his nose right now, he’d miss it by miles. 

“Why, of all people, Jinyoung? He’s too cold for you. I love this dude but I don’t want you to go through a hard time because of him,” he pouted, suddenly wanting to discuss your love life with you.

You knew you shouldn’t laugh, Bambam was being sincere and caring about you right now but his state was so fucked up that you couldn’t help it, “Let’s get you some water.”

Letting out a heavy sigh because you ignored him, he followed you to the Im’s table where they were selling drinks.

They immediately let out a laugh, “Oh, Bambam,” Jaebeom’s mother said amused at his clearly fucked-up state.

“Can we have a water, please?” you asked her as you held Bambam, wishing he’d stay still.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he tried to convince you, “I could do a cartwheel without a problem.”

“Please don’t,” you laughed at his confidence, giving him the cup of water and thanking Jaebeom’s mother, “Should we go back to the table?”

He nodded and you walked over to your group of friends, handing Bambam over to Yugyeom. Looking around you saw that Jinyoung was missing. Just as his ex-girlfriend.

Of course, you couldn’t know if they left together. Maybe Jinyoung just went home without saying goodbye. Checking your phone to see if he maybe texted you just disappointed you even more. You hated that you suddenly felt so vulnerable. The evening was so much fun up to this point, the fact that such a tiny thing could ruin your mood completely made you feel foolish.

Not daring to ask Jaebeom if he knew where he went or if they left together, knowing he’d try to comfort you, making you feel even worse, you said your goodbyes to your friends, claiming you were tired and needed some sleep.

Walking over to your home luckily was only taking you a minute, considering that the harvest festival was held on your farm. The worst thing about all this was that you didn’t know how to feel. Technically, you had no reason to be mad or jealous, Jinyoung and you never did anything more than flirting. On the other hand though, you liked him, so of course, it hurt you that he was probably enjoying himself with his ex-girlfriend right now. Your head hurt from all the alcohol and overthinking. You wished he would at least have said goodbye to you. Maybe, after all, he wasn’t into you as much as you thought. Today would’ve been his chance to make a move otherwise.

Opening your door you almost got scared to death. Your heartbeat was going crazy fast and you were even more confused than before. Just as you accepted the fact that Jinyoung left the party with his ex-girlfriend, he was sitting on your sofa, playing games on his phones, waiting for no one else than you.

“What are you doing here? How did you even get in?” you almost screamed, still shocked by the thought that someone broke into your house at first.

He laughed, simply stating, “I know where your spare key is.”

You shook your head in disbelief, “But what are you doing here? Why are you just sitting on my sofa?”

“I wanted to leave the party. But I still wanted to spend time with you.”

 “What about Elly?” you blurted out, your eyes immediately widening after you asked, realizing that he and you never talked about her.

He looked at you in shock, “W-What?”, you never head him stutter before, “What about her? How do you know?”, the confusion on his face vanished a bit, sighing heavy, “Jaebeom told you about her, right?”

You nodded, “It just came up once in a conversation we were having. And when I saw you with her I just assumed you left with her.”

He laughed, looking at you like you were crazy, “Why would I do that?”

You shrugged, not having an answer to his question. “What do I know? Maybe you missed her.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’d waste your time like that. And my time also,” he said softly, “Forget about her. She came up to me as soon as you left, trying to talk so I left.”

You nodded, understanding what was going on now, “So, you decided to break into my house?”

“Oh, I can leave if you want me to.“

“That’s not what I said,” you rolled your eyes. Suddenly, there was a pause. Neither of you were saying anything and you felt unsure of how to continue.

“Shouldn’t we clean outside a bit already?” you asked Jinyoung, trying to break the silence so you’d get out of this overwhelming situation. 

Jinyoung, on the other hand, seemed to be very relaxed, he almost felt at home on your sofa. He stood up, coming closer and closer to you, “It can wait until tomorrow.”

When he stopped, he was right in front of you, your feet were almost touching and if someone would push you at this moment, you surely would land on top of him, which actually sounded pretty nice to you. You nodded, trying to sneakily take a deep breath to calm down, you had no idea why you were so nervous. He’s by far not the first guy you kissed but he might be the one kiss you anticipated the most.

His hand slowly ran up your arm, then down again, giving you goosebumps all over your skin, his gentleness making you fall for him even more. His hand found yours and you looked into his eyes, wanting to drown in them as your stomach felt like it was tied in knots.

A small smile formed on Jinyoung’s lips as you locked eyes, not able to have a single clear thought. By now you were sure that tonight would be the night you’d finally have him where you wanted him. All for yourself.

Coming nearer, you felt his upper body almost touching yours, his head was leaning in and you saw him slowly closing his eyes as his free hand found your hip, bringing you even closer to him.

The moment before the actual kiss was already breathtaking enough. The mixed smell of his cologne and the alcohol the two of you drank earlier was making you feel dense. The touch of his hand was already burning but as his nose brushed yours slightly, a rush of adrenaline was sent through your whole body, making your stomach turn and you suddenly felt hot in places you didn’t know he had an impact on until now. It was rather quiet, the only sound you could hear was the muffled music from outside, but you couldn’t figure out what song was playing, only feeling the bass of it. Your heart was beating so fast, you hoped he couldn’t hear it.

But all those little and unimportant things around you vanished as soon as you felt his soft lips, pressed onto yours with the perfect amount pressure. The kiss developed from something shy and soft into the projection of what both of you had been craving secretly for so long in no time. No one dared to break the kiss, not wanting it to be over.

His hand wandered all over your body, from your hip to your waist, to your arms, to your neck, right back down to your lower back until he held onto your thighs.

“Jump,” he mumbled hectic, his voice deeper than usual, between your kisses, not wanting to stop.

“Are you sure?” you asked him carefully.

He chuckled into your kiss, “Never been more sure.”

So you did as he told you and jumped up, your legs now crossed around his hips as he held you up like it was nothing, deepening the kiss once again, your tongue playing with his. Being with him like this was more exciting than you ever could’ve imagined.

Your hand found the nape of his neck, burying itself in his soft hair, as he was carrying you to the sofa he was sitting on just a few minutes ago.

So there you were, on top of Park Jinyoung, straddling his muscular thighs, feeling a heat in your core that you haven’t felt in such a long time but missed so much. The way his hands were exploring your body while his lips were busy kissing every single spot on your jaw and your neck was making you feel like you were going insane, leaving you wanting every single part of him.

A small, rather quiet groan came out of your mouth as he pulled you closer to him, not able to suppress what you were feeling any second longer. He chuckled once more, clearly satisfied with the feelings he was giving you, before giving his attention to your lips again.

His one hand was now on your neck, supporting every movement between the two of you, as his other hand was resting on your hip, slowly making you rock back and forth on him, the tension in both of your pants growing.

Slowly, his hand started to wander under your shirt, to a place where you needed him desperately. He was caressing the skin under your shirt carefully, teasing while taking his time. You wanted nothing more than for him to move them upwards towards your breasts, giving you more and more. 

His lips were doing its magic on your neck again, kissing and nibbling on a soft spot under your ear as his hand slowly wandered up until his thumb finally found your nipple under your lace bra, the contact making you flinch a bit because of the intense feeling. 

He let out a deep groan, sending shivers down your body and an undeniable friction in your underwear grew, making you rock your hips into him once more.

You started to wonder if you were prepared for what was about to happen, the two of you were just starting and you already felt like a mess, wanting him so much more. But he took his time, enjoying every single second of you on top of him.

His hand was now kneading your breast, the pressure just exactly right as he brushed your nipple every now and then, already knowing its effect on you. Every time he touched your bud lightly you couldn’t help but moan.

You let out a small whine as your breast lost contact with his hand, not wanting him to stop. But as you realized that he was only stopping to pull up your shirt you were more than willing to give him what he wanted. Within seconds you were not only shirtless but also braless, as Jinyoung was throwing your bra away to the floor.

He studied what you looked like, wanting to never forget this moment. Leaning back on the couch you saw a satisfied smirk on his lips as his hand found your nipple again. He now was looking right into your eyes and you held eye contact with him, trying not to break it as you got wetter every time his thumb was caressing your nipple.

He enjoyed watching you trying to contain yourself for sure. The smirk on his lip was growing now and his glance was filled with a mixture of lust, adoration and mostly, anticipation of what was going to happen next.

You put your hand on his shoulder to support yourself as you started to dry-hump him, letting out a moan, a louder one this time, as you felt his erection under you.

“Shit,” he moaned, breaking eye contact and throwing his head back, his eyes closed as he bit his lip.

All of a sudden he stopped you from your actions, holding your hips down with both of his hand as he looked at you, frustration all over his face, “(Y/n), are you sure about this? I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once we started.”

Your heart skipped a beat, appreciating his question but you immediately gave him another kiss, this time a bit softer, kissing him deeply, before whispering into his ears. “Don’t you dare to stop now, Jinyoung.”

You could hear his chuckle, his breath on your neck giving you goosebumps. “Thank god,” he said before lifting you up without warning you, making you scream a bit, afraid he’d let you fall.

“Be careful, you scared me to death,” you laughed as you were being carried towards your bedroom.

“You think I’d let you fall?” he said amused, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” you countered, making him laugh as he arrived in your bedroom, letting you down on top of your bed - now you were under him, lying down as he was still sitting on his knees, taking in the view of your naked upper body right in front of him, for him only.

You did the same - and what a beautiful view it was. He was hovering over you, your legs between his as he was pulling his top over his head, throwing it away before unbuckling his belt as you were running your hand over his toned chest.

Not long until both of you were only left in your underwear. Jinyoung slowly removed your pants, before coming back up to you, supporting himself on his elbows as he gave you a deep kiss, adding tongue and caressing your cheek before looking at you. You couldn’t help but smile.

Jinyoung gave you a small smile back, his eyes soft, “I love that smile.”

Before you could think about his compliment, one that he never gave you before, before you could get flustered or say anything back he suddenly changed the game completely, fastly pulling your underwear to the side and sliding one finger inside of you while his thumb was rubbing circles against your clit.

Taken aback by his sudden actions, you let out a loud moan, almost a scream, making Jinyoung smirk a bit before his lips wandered down to your neck once again, taking his time with you as he pumped his finger in and out in just the right rhythm. You moved your hip into his movements as his lips kissed down to your chest, his free hand holding your breast while his mouth teasingly played with your nipple, licking it and twirling his tongue around it, making you a moaning mess already.

Your hand was lightly stroking his dick through his boxers, leaving you wanting more. God, the things you wanted him to do with you were unholy.

The way he glanced at you as he was kissing his way down to your core looked like living art. Your whole body wanted him so bad, just the thought of where his mouth would travel to next or how it would feel when you’d finally feel him inside of you was making you go insane. Never before have you wanted something as much and at the same time hoped he’d take his time before.

Arriving at his destination he let out a moan, definitely being into all of this a bit too much too. He started to slowly kiss your inner thighs, holding your legs up a bit, teasing every part around where you wanted him the most.

“Stop teasing,” you whined, wanting him so much more than you currently had.

He chuckled against your core, the warm air making you flinch, “I thought that’s our thing,” before licking along your wet folds and then adding another finger, his tongue giving all its attention to your clit.

The pace in that he was going down on you was making your knees feel weak. He looked so handsome, his forehead in wrinkles as he was concentrating on pleasing you completely, moans vibrating against you.

It didn’t take long for the two of you until you were having sex, the two of you completely concentrating on the sensational feeling for the next moments.

After you finished you laid down on your stomach, not able to really move, as Jinyoung let himself fall right next to you, giving your nose a small peck. He was not only out of breath but also still in trance of what had just happened, “I didn’t expect this,” he breathed, calming down from his orgasm.

You giggled a bit, “What? Us having sex?”

The smile he gave you made your heart race like crazy, his messy hair falling into his eyes, “I’m not complaining though.”

For a second you were lying there, letting Jinyoung catch his breath and calming down. You felt your legs shaking from the intercourse you just had.

“Feel my legs,” you ordered chuckling, his hand on your thigh in a second as he felt how much you were shaking.

“Glad you liked it,” he laughed before getting up, “I’ll get you a towel, be right back.”

As you were waiting for him to come back you realized what had just happened. After all the flirting and teasing Jinyoung and you actually ended up in your bed. The thought made you dizzy, but it could also be from the alcohol you drank. It seemed too good to be true.

Cleaning you up, you suddenly heard a laugh as he grabbed your ass, “I may or may not have left some marks. I’m sorry.”

You turned you head back, squinting your eyes at him, “You’re lucky no one else sees that part of me. The others would tease me to death about that.”

Slowly, he climbed back up to lay next to you, both of you on your stomach, his hand caressing your side, “Apparently they have a bet going on about when we’re going to end up together.”

“I’m not even surprised. Sounds like them,” you closed your eyes, enjoying Jinyoung’s affection, “This feels nice.”

He hummed in agreement before giving you a small kiss, his forehead resting next to yours, “I could stay like this forever.”

“Then stay,” you offered, still not opening your eyes. Jinyoung was getting a blanket, throwing it over both of you so you wouldn’t freeze, “Don’t leave. Stay here.”

“You want me to?” he asked, his hand now playing with your hair, “Alright, I’ll stay then. Sleep a bit, it’s late and you’re drunk.”

“I will, just give me one more kiss, okay?” you asked him, feeling yourself getting more tired by any passing second.

He chuckled as he came closer to your face once again, holding your face in his hands as he softly pressed his lips onto yours one more time, your naked bodies touching. “Good night, (y/n).”

Falling asleep, everything seemed too good to be true. Jinyoung beside you, his scent in your nose as you slowly drifted to sleep in his arms.

As you woke up he was gone. First, you thought you had dreamed about yesterday's events but after a few seconds, you realized that it wasn’t a dream. You got drunk, you had sex, you fell asleep next to him. And now, he was gone.

Standing up, you wrapped your blanket around your naked body, looking for the man that you spend the night with but he was nowhere to be seen.

Well, maybe it was too good to be true.

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

It’s been five days. Five days since you shared your bed with Jinyoung. Five days and your goddamn sheets still smelled like him - or maybe you were hallucinating at this point, wanting just something that reminds you of him around you. The two of you talked to each other casually when you met on the farm. You said hi and talked about the weather. Shared awkward smiles. And that was about it. It’s not like he was cold to you or anything, he seemed to feel just as helpless and awkward about your drunk night together as you. As much as you loved the night and what happened, you definitely hated the aftermath.

Talking to Jaebeom about it didn’t help, sadly. While you appreciate that he always listens to you and is ready to give you advice at any given time, you still had hoped that he’d suggest something else than to give him a bit of time.

The current tension between you was even worse than the sexual tension between you before. You didn’t care if you and Jinyoung wouldn’t end up as a couple, of course, you’d like that very much and still hoped that things were going into that direction, but the two of you developed too much to just destroy the nice friendship you built because of feelings getting in the way.

So you decided to visit him that afternoon, feeling anxious as you were walking up the front porch of your neighbors. You barely remember how their house looked like from the inside since it’s been so long since you been inside. The front door stood open and you knocked against it, not wanting to be rude.

“Mrs. Park?” you called for her as you slowly stepped inside, looking if you could find her but there was no sign of her being home.

Walking up the stairs, you tried to remember which room belonged to Jinyoung until you were distracted by something odd and unexpected - suddenly your ears were filled with a beautiful but rather sad piano melody coming from the room on the back of the corridor. Curious, your feet walked towards the source of the sound, your heart suddenly felt heavy, the sad melody immediately managed to impact your mood, making you feel blue. A part of you wanted to turn around and leave Jinyoung alone, just like he probably wanted you to – if you figured out one thing about him over the last few months than it was the fact that this man was a complicated person, hard to read and even harder to talk to, but you decided to accept that. There were only two options: Either you’d work it out with him or you wouldn’t.

You stood in the open door, looking at the back of the man your heart wanted so bad, sitting in front of a big, wooden piano - for a second you couldn’t even believe that he was able to play such a heart touching piece of art, sitting in his room all alone. What a waste it was for him to play all alone, with no one around to hear. It made your heart sting for a second, at this point you liked him too much to go back. Just looking at him being at peace was making you crave to be the woman beside him. After all, he was Park Jinyoung, the one man that managed to surprise you over and over again.

As quiet as possible you walked into the tidy and light room, not wanting to give him a heart attack by creeping up on him but also not wanting him to stop playing. It was a beautiful sight, the way his hands were gliding on the big instrument so smooth and without thinking. You couldn’t see his face yet but you were already swooning over how beautiful he looked.

He looked over his shoulders as you cleared your throat, continuing to play even without paying attention to the keys, giving you an unreadable smile. You sat down on his bed that was placed right beside the piano as he stopped playing.

“Didn’t expect you to come visit me if I am honest,“ Jinyoung admitted, almost sounding shy. He seemed to be a bit uncomfortable, knowing exactly that he finally had to face the night you shared a few days ago.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be able to play the piano so skillfully but yet, here you are, doing exactly that,“ you countered in a soft tone, not wanting him to feel like you were mad at him, “That sounded beautiful.”

He chuckled and you were happy to see him relax a bit, “You think so? It was rather depressing, wasn't it?”

“Matching your mood?” you dared to ask him carefully, trying to address the whole situation somehow.

He stood up from his chair and walked over to you, sitting down next to you on his bed, “It’s my dad’s birthday today. He taught me the song I just played.”

His voice was full of love while talking about his father but you could hear the hidden sadness behind it. You didn’t know about that and suddenly, you felt guilt rushing over you. While you were wondering why he didn't try to solve the obvious problem between you and him he had something way harder to deal with. Looking up at you, he forced a small smile, “Mum and Olli are visiting his grave but I didn’t feel like going.”

Trying to give him any kind of comfort you nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line. You were surprised that he was opening up to you but as sad as the situation was, it was relieving you that he finally talked to someone about it. According to Bambam and Jaebeom he tried to avoid this topic as much as he could.

“Why did you stay here?” you asked him, trying to keep the conversation going and show him your support. What you didn’t want was overwhelm him with questions, so you slowly started to see how comfortable he was around you.

He shrugged, looking up at the ceiling, “It’s such a sad place. I feel like we shouldn’t be sad on his birthday, if that makes sense. We should eat his favorite food and drink a beer and stay up too long, playing guitar on the porch. Mum and he always sneaked out at night on his birthday, taking drunk walks. They thought I didn’t notice but they were always coming back, laughing loudly. I miss celebrating his birthdays. But it’s hard to be happy on his birthday without him here.”

He laid down on his bed, his head right next to where you were currently sitting. You studied his face, his eyes still glued to the ceiling, not daring to look at you, the woman he hurt by leaving her after having sex with her. The sun outside was setting, leaving Jinyoung’s whole room in a golden light, his tan skin was glowing and his light-brown hair shimmering. While he seemed to be sad on the outside you could see that talking about the memories he made with his father was making him feel lighter. It was nice seeing him talking about his dad - they always have been very close, you still could recall that.

“I still remember him so vividly. He always gifted me self-made marmalade before I left the city and no other marmalade, literally not a single one at home was comparable to his,“ you shared your memory with Jinyoung, looking out of the big window in his room, admiring the sun, “He has a beautiful soul.” - When you came over you wouldn't have expected to talk to Jinyoung about his father but you knew that everything else, every problem and unsolved question, between the two of you could wait for now.

“I wish I was more like him,“ his voice was nothing more than a mumble, almost inaudible. The sudden craving to hold him came over you, to comfort him in your arms, to kiss him until he felt better. But you held back, as long as you didn’t talk about the obvious.

“What do you mean?” you asked him, daring to lay down beside him - luckily, he didn’t seem to mind. The two of you didn’t touch or cuddled, you just were lying there, on his bed, having a serious and meaningful conversation.

“He was so kind and positive. He told my mother different reasons why he loved her every night. Even after a long day of work he still took his time and practiced the piano with me every night and then brought Olli to bed, reading him a good night story or playing him songs on the guitar until he fell asleep. He taught me so much but still, I could never be so full of love like he used to be.”

“You think too low of yourself, Jinyoung,“ you said determined, meaning it, “I don’t think you see how much your mother appreciates everything you do for her. She knows that you didn’t plan out your life like this but you’re staying here for her. And Olli looks up to you so much, you could do nothing to let him down.”

He shrugged, looking at you for a second, “I don’t feel like that’s enough.”

Feeling heartbroken about hearing him talk so bad about himself, your hand found his in between the two of you, linking it with yours, now it was you who didn't dare to look into his eyes, “Look at us then.”

“What do you mean?” he asked you, confused.

“Since I moved here you gave me so much joy and helped me everywhere you could. You have no idea how much I appreciate all the things you’ve done for me since I came here, complicated tensions between us or not,“ you meant every word.

He scoffed lightly, “I attacked you on your first day, made you churn butter and let you fall into the lake in the middle of the night on your birthday.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a bit at his words, “Well, yes. And I could still kill you for all of those things. But,“ you started, turning your body towards him to look into his eyes, “You also helped me calm the cows during the storm. You gave me the most meaningful birthday present I could’ve thought of. You brought me a basket full of my favorite fruits even though you still deny that you did-”

He let out a soft chuckle before interrupting you, “That wasn’t me,“ he insisted once again with a grin on his face.

“Sure, Park,“ you rolled your eyes at him picking up this discussion again, “You might think you’re being cold but you’re not at all.”

Now he turned to face you too, both of you lying on the side, looking in each other’s eyes. His brows narrowed as he tried to say something to you, the expression in his eyes seemed to be hurt, maybe even guilty.

A heavy sigh came from his lips before he closed his eyes, “I just left you. That morning. I just got up and left.”

Those words made you freeze. After all, you came here to talk about exactly that but it seemed so wrong right now, “We don’t have to talk abou-”

“I just left,“ he repeated, seeming disappointed with himself, “I never just left someone after having sex with them. There were people that meant way less to me and I still stayed the morning after. I am being a complete asshole to you all the time and still, you don’t hate me. You’re here, trying to make sure I’m okay.”

Keeping quiet was the only thing you could do at that moment. Jinyoung’s words seemed harsh but the tone in his voice sounded guilty. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t say anything - you had no idea what Jinyoung was trying to say.

“Jinyoung,“ you finally started after a few seconds, his full attention on you, “This day is hard enough for you already. We don’t have to talk about that right now. I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be though. I know, I am pretty amazing but not even such a godlike man like me shouldn’t treat you like this,“ he joked but both of you knew it was his way of comprehending because he didn’t know how to handle the conversation you were about to have since he always struggled to talk about his feelings, especially sober.

“Why did you leave then?” you asked him the one question you asked yourself over and over again. There could have been millions of options in your mind. Maybe, he regretted it and it was just a drunk mistake. Maybe, the feelings you thought he had for you were just sexually. Maybe, he simply had to go and do something early in the morning. So many maybes that have gone through your head without any idea if any of those maybe’s were right.

“I don’t know. I wish I didn’t,“ he bit his lip nervously, not looking into your eyes anymore, afraid to see your reaction, “Maybe I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” you asked, not sure if you actually wanted to know the answer. You felt many emotions when it came to Park Jinyoung. You felt happiness, joy, hope, possibly love. On other days you felt powerless, insecure and confused. What you never felt was being afraid. Pretty sure, you actually felt safe around him.

“I’m not as flawless and strong as I constantly try to convince you I am,“ he sighed, pressing his lips into a straight line, “I couldn’t stand to hurt you because of my own problems. But I still did.”

Slowly you nodded as your heart was sinking deeper and deeper in your stomach, “You’ve got to talk to me, Jinyoung. What are you thinking about?”

Jinyoung hated this probably even more than you did. He was good in so many things - he was a good friend, a better brother and the best son. He was an amazing cook and apparently, an amazing piano player. He could flirt like no tomorrow and crack jokes around his friends that would make everyone laugh. He could drink a lot and he could make your heart beat faster. There were countless things he was able to be and to do without any problem. But when it came to talking about his feelings and showing his vulnerable side he failed. You knew that just as good as everyone else but if he wouldn’t talk, you couldn’t continue to work on your relationship.

“I,“ he started but stopped, looking at you sternly while clenching his jaw a bit. His eyebrows furrowed and his expression looked almost pained, trying to find the right words, “I think that I loved the night with you. I did, really. But maybe, it was a bit thoughtless of us.”

“So, what you’re trying to say is that you regret it,“ you stated, trying to just get this conversation over with, hoping he couldn’t see or hear that you felt like he just put a knife in your stomach.

„God, no,“ his answer bursted out of him like a bullet before he started mumbling to himself, „I am truly terrible at this.“

You gave him a few seconds to gather his thoughts even though the silence was deafening. This wasn't how you expected to spend your first time in Jinyoung's bed at all.

„I like you, (y/n),“ he then spoke, determined, „Obviously I do. And I think you like me too, or at least I hope you do. But we were drunk and desperate when we had sex and I wanted it to be special.“

You couldn't help but pout at his helpless confession, adoring him even more than before. Within seconds all of your doubts vanished – as long as Jinyoung liked you too you would find a way to work everything out. Trying not to let your overflowing happiness show, you gave him a small smirk, „You thought about us having sex?“

Luckily, his body relaxed too, an annoyed smile appearing on his handsome face, „All the time,“ he scrunched his nose, his arm wrapping itself around your waist.

„So, what you're saying is that you ignored me for days because you didn't like the way it happened?“ you asked him, coming back to the actual topic.

Frowning, he sighed, „When you put it like this it sounds stupid.“

„Because it is,“ you insisted, squinting your eyes at him, „I thought you avoided me because you hated me or something like that.“

„I'm so sorry,“ he apologized again, his face coming closer to yours, „Apparently, I'm very bad at this.“

„So, what are we doing now?“ you asked him, feeling a bit anxious even though Jinyoung just told you that he liked you too, so you had nothing to worry about.

„First, I want to kiss you if you're fine with that,“ his fingers were drawing little patterns on your waist, „and then I'd like us to become something serious.“

Nodding, you did as he asked and gave him a kiss, his soft lips feeling just as good, if not better, as you remembered them. You felt something like butterflies in your stomach and you thought that Jinyoung would probably make fun of you if he knew how jolly he made you feel.

Breaking from the kiss, the most handsome man you've ever seen stared you down for a second, not saying anything.

„We should celebrate,“ he suddenly suggested.

„What do you have in mind?“ you asked him curiously, not once escaping his gaze.

„Let me take you out to dinner,“ his voice was sweet as honey and you were sure you never heard him talk in such a soft tone – it might be the rest of guilt he still felt towards you or the fact that now you officially knew about each other's feelings but you could get used to it. You wanted to get used to it.

„Right now?“ you asked him, wondering if it would be okay considering it was his father's birthday.

„I don't wanna wait a second longer,“ he smirked at his own cheesiness, getting out of his bed to get ready to go.

You joined him, „Stop being so loving. God, where did my cynical Jinyoung go?“

Rolling his eyes, he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around your waist, walking down the hallway with you. „This changes nothing,“ he gestured between the two of you, „You're still terribly annoying even if we're together now.“

„I could get used to the sound of that,“ you scrunched your nose as your eyes met before you repeated his words, „We're together now.“

Even though he tried to hide it, he was just as excited about the label as you were. You could feel it in the way he touched you and the sparkle in his eyes gave him away.

A few minutes later you were sitting outside of the restaurant in the heart of your city, the marketplace was pretty quiet as it slowly got dark outside, a candle lit on your table.

The owner of the restaurant greeted you, raising his eyebrow and smirking as he saw the two of you together. „Oh, what a nice sight to see the two of you here together. Is this a date by any chance?“

You let Jinyoung answer, not knowing if he was okay with telling people yet.

„It's still a secret so you have to keep quiet, please,“ he answered with a proud smile on his lips and you could swear his chest was sticking out a bit.

„What a pretty couple,“ he sang as he went back inside, giving you a bit of time to read the menu and decide on what to eat.

Even though it was almost autumn it was still warm outside – you loved those kind of late summer evenings. Without even having a single sip of alcohol you felt almost tipsy, the man opposite of you making you feel all light and smitten.

„This is the downside of living in such a small town,“ Jinyoung started, his skin glowing in the candlelight, „We have zero privacy.“

„I don't mind,“ you shrugged, „They're going to find out sooner or later. It's the charm of towns like ours.“

„I just would like to take you out on a date every now and then without one of the guys crashing it because they see us,“ he explained, „But you're right, it's not as bad here as I make it out to be.“

He took your hand that was resting on the table, caressing it with his thumb. Every touch you two shared make you shiver in anticipation for more. Even though you already knew you were head over heels for him you felt yourself falling deeper every time you touched.

Time went by way too fast for your liking and before you knew it you two had your dinner, your dessert and even some drinks afterwards. The atmosphere was light, both of you enjoying each other's company after not talking for some days.

„I don't want this night to end just yet,“ you pouted. Before you dared to take his hands you glanced around to see if Bambam was anywhere to be seen, not wanting him to disturb your peace.

Your new boyfriend, still a weird thought to call him that, nodded, „I can stay if you want to.“

Before you could say anything he fastly added, „I don't have to though. It's your decision. I can leave too.“

You gave him a weird glance, „You're acting like this would be a first for us.“

Not saying anything he almost froze in front of you, fidgeting with his hands, staring at your door. For a few seconds you mustered him, waiting if he'd say something but nothing came out of his mouth, which was pretty unusual for him.

„Oh god, you're nervous!“ your grin was a mile wide and you clapped your hands amused, „Park Jinyoung is nervous because of me. I can't wait to tell my diary about this.“

Frustration was written all over his face as he closed his eyes as if he couldn't believe himself. „Your diary must be full of my name,“ he mumbled under his breath before looking at you again, the satisfied smile on your face provoking him, „Stop making fun of me.“

As you were searching for your keys in your back he hugged you from behind, pressing a kiss against your hair, “Let’s drink some beer and watch a movie.”

Nodding, you stole a quick kiss from his lips and opened the door, letting the both of you in. 

“I’m going to get a blanket,” you informed him, “Get some beers, I’ll meet you in the couch in a minute.

„What do you wanna watch?“ he asked you a few moments later, one leg bent while the other one was spread out on your sofa, his arm spread on the back of it, just waiting for you to join him.

The sight of him comfortably sitting on your sofa gave you the most domestic feeling you've felt in a long time – he seemed to look even better than before somehow.

„Let's watch an animal documentation,“ you responded, sitting down next to him. The blanket you brought from your bedroom spread over the two of you, you dared to cuddle yourself up to him and he seemed to enjoy it as much as you, giving your head a quick kiss, your face resting on his chest.

„You're weird,“ he muttered, „Let's watch a horror movie instead.“

Giving him an unimpressed glance, you sighed, „How cliche.“

You could feel his chuckle going through his chest, „At least it would give me a reason to stay for the night.“

Rolling your eyes, you looked up at him, his glance already on you, „Why? Because you're too afraid of horror movies? Because I am certainly not.“

„I have such a brave girlfriend,“ he acknowledged in a sarcastic tone while opening two beers, handing you one, „Here's to us, babe.“

Clinking your bottles, you took a sip of your beer, „So, you're a babe kind of guy? Wouldn't have thought that.“

„I can call you asshole if you prefer that,“ he said seriously before starting to laugh at his own joke once again.

And with that, the rest of the evening was just as perfect as the first part. It was just you, Jinyoung, some beers and Netflix. Every now and then you shared kisses, sometimes those kisses were a bit more passionate and longer, turning into full make-out sessions before Jinyoung started to whine because he missed the plot of the movie you were watching.

“God, I’m so happy,” he told you softly as you were slowly falling asleep in his arms, relaxing completely under his touch, “I wanted this for so long.”

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+

You and Jinyoung managed to keep your relationship a secret for about two weeks. It took you only two short weeks to decide that it didn’t make any sense to keep it from them. Not only were both of you pretty sure that the relationship between you was serious but also, like always, none of your friends stopped their teasing, making it difficult to stay hidden because their eyes were always on you.

“We have to tell them,” your boyfriend looked at you, “It’s a miracle they didn’t find out yet.”

You chuckled, wrapping your legs around his, “I guess you’re right. But they are going to be so nosey about it. I hate it already.”

It was a late summer Saturday evening, probably one of the lasts warm days for this year and Bambam decided to gather your friends and your family together for one last barbecue.

Walking outside, you linked your arm with Jinyoung’s, something you’ve never done before in front of other people. A part of you almost felt nervous to let the rest know.

“You’re ready?” he asked you, giving you a small wink as you walked towards the big table next to the barbecue grill. Your families were already sitting down on the big table while Jaebeom and Jackson were struggling to get the barbecue grill to work. It was a beautiful evening, the sun was still high but was about to sink, the warm summer breeze felt refreshing and the big table in the garden was full of drinks and food, from meat to salads to bread to vegetables. Jaebeom’s parents were there too, currently mixing some cocktails.

Bambam was the first to spot the two of you walking out of your cottage, giving you a confused glance, his eyebrows narrowed. He stopped telling the other a story he was in the middle of, wondering about the sudden skinship. Immediately, everyone turned their heads to where he was looking, wondering what made Bambam speechless.

As you arrived you said nothing, waiting for anyone to say something.

Jaebeom looked at you with a big grin on his face, “What is that supposed to mean?”, he asked, pointing onto your linked arms.

“You are fucking with us, aren’t you?”, your cousin asked suspiciously, “Ha Ha. Very funny.”

“No Bam, for once I’m serious, you replied, amused because he didn’t believe you, “Are you really surprised?”

Mrs. Park and your uncle looked at each other, a smile on their faces.

“Jinyoung, are you serious? You can’t trick your old mother like this, don’t make me excited for something that isn’t true.”

Jinyoung chuckled at his mother, nodding, “Don’t worry, mum. I’d never lie to you.”

Bambam still didn’t seem to believe you, “If you’re not kidding you gotta kiss,” he insisted with a sly smirk, thinking that he exposed you now.

You looked at Jinyoung, giving him a questioning glance, not knowing if he’d be comfortable kissing you in front of everyone. But he didn’t seem to care and just shook his head amused before he came closer to give you a short, but still very adorable, kiss on your lips, his arm now around your waist, before turning to Bambam, who looked like he was about to faint.

“Who do you think you are just dating my cousin without asking me for permission?” he yelled angrily, getting ready to fight Jinyoung.

You, Jaebeom and Jackson started to laugh out loud as Bambam started to chase after Jinyoung.

Sitting down on the table right next to Jaebeom’s seat he pinched your cheeks lightly, “Congratulations, finally trapped him, huh?”

You nodded, “Was about time. I was slowly going insane.”

“In a more peaceful minute, you need to tell me all about how it happened, alright?” your best friend said with a satisfied smile on his lips, “And don’t forget me now that you’re in love.”

“How could I ever?” you promised, laughing as Jinyoung came back to the table, out of breath from running away from Bambam.

“Your cousin is crazy, (y/n),” he breathed heavily, shaking his head, “Maybe I have to reconsider becoming part of your family.”

“Well, too late now,“ you shrugged as Bambam joined the table again too, a goofy smile on his face as he turned to you.

“So, I assume I can’t try to set you up with Yugyeom anymore, right?” he joked, sitting back down on his chair and opening two cans of beer, one for himself and the other one for you.

„You better watch your mouth,“ your boyfriend warned Bambam, giving him a warning glance.

A few hours later, the sky was pitch-black by now and the stars sparkling, you noticed that Jinyoung was gone for quite some time now and decided to go check up on him - you saw him going to the barn earlier.

As you walked over to Jinyoung he already noticed you but didn’t look at you yet. Instead, you only saw his back as he was busy giving Bertha some kisses.

“Oh no, don’t worry, Bertha,“ he talked to her, “You’re still my favorite cow, just don’t tell (y/n).”

You rolled your eyes, scoffing, “You’re trying to make me jealous?”

He turned around, acting as if he didn’t realize you coming on, “Oh no, (y/n),“ his voice was mocking, “You shouldn’t have seen this, I can explain, I promise.”

Laughing at his own joke, he came over to you and put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. Trying to give you a kiss, you freed yourself from his grip, giving him the cold shoulder.

“No, go and kiss Bertha, if you love her so much,“ you huffed and held your chin up high, trying to stay serious but Jinyoung wasn’t having it. Within seconds his arms were wrapped around you once again, now tighter than before so you couldn’t escape if you wanted.

Pulling you into a hug, he locked his eyes with you, a joyful smile on his still so beautiful lips, “You’re so annoying.”

Scoffing, you avoided his eyes, still playing hard to get, „I thought we're over the whole 'you're annoying me' phase.“

„Actually, each time I told you that you're annoying I fell in love with you a bit more,“ your boyfriend confessed, still hugging you tightly before smirking, „But you still were a pain in the ass.“  

You gave him a quick and small kiss before resting your forehead against his, “I want to spend the rest of my life annoying you.”

He let out a small laugh, his eyes closed. “Oh, that’s good,“ suddenly he picked you up, giving you no other chance as to hold onto him, your legs around his waist as he was holding you up, his arms tightly around your waist, “Because I want to spend the rest of my annoying life with you.”

｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡+..｡*ﾟ+ ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

the end! if you read this whole thing i wanna thank you. this is my first long scenario and it took me a lot of time to finish it. of course, i have a lot improvement to do but i hope i could at least make someone happy with it. :)

[simptasia]

neurodivergence in abc’s lost

i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms

first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression

hugo “hurley” reyes

schizophrenia and depression

our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it

it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)

they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool

(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)

extra notes

to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley

he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented

at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley

hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)

john locke

depression

locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails

also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning

to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression

locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode

daniel faraday

acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)

he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said

okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)

apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired

short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here

long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really

no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name

like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...

upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)

when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour

(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)

going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent

notes

his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)

he shows an inability to properly process grief

he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both

without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory

danielle rousseau

trauma induced mental illness

pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour

she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well

libby smith

indeterminate mental state 

libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about

but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on

benjamin linus

anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)

oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay

ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????

but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...

he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]

also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part

hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns

that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?

the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do

and this

“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”

reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general

i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing

ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true

notes

ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems

ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people

it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks

honourable mentions

pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash

a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc

and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases

claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned

sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand

boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based

self harm

self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick

hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder

charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)

locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide

so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah

but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering

these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me

lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will

thank you for your time

[lifewithborderline]

I guess I'd like to know if you have any advice on how to get over people who clearly don't want you in their lives? Like a lot of the time I'm okay, but then I feel the urge to come back, probably because I have literally nobody (I'm very wary of people and as such not good at meeting new people, and the ones I meet I always drive away a few months down the line anyway) and that can be lonely, but it's clear that they wanted me to leave and have no interest in ever seeing my face or hearing anything I say ever again. All they had to say was "You'll crawl back anyway 🙄". Like they don't want me, they hate me at best and feel completely indifferent towards me at worst, they never reached out to me, didn't check on me, they surely wanted to leave me anyway. But some part of me is like "What if you're a dumb bitch and just misinterpreting everything?" and like I know that that part is wrong and just saying shit because it's lonely and wants to annoy these people again even though that'd be selfish because they don't want me there. Plus even if it weren't selfish, I'm in the second to last year of school which means that in a year they'll leave me anyway and never talk to me again and if I got back with these people now it'd hurt me in a year again.

Also I feel like maybe it's important to say that a lot of these fallouts I have with people aren't directly related to BPD (I mean, some are, but not all) but instead to a trigger. I mean, I don't know if I should call it a trigger since technically I don't have diagnosed PTSD or CPTSD, but they're just things that make me remember traumatic memories that affect me a lot to this day and that shaped me as a person, and when I hear the phrase that makes me relive those things I usually get all anxious and my heart starts beating faster and I get hot flushes and I feel like I need to run away, like I need to run away from everything and everyone close to that phrase or it will happen again, like the situation will literally be recreated in real time by these people sooner or later, so I need to run away before it happens, I need to run because I'd rather die than go through all that again. So to others I suppose it looks like I freak out, start crying, either get really angry or look absent and start saying some wild shit (to me the things make complete sense because they're directly related to the things I went through, but I think that it may sound off-topic or nonsensical to others) and then it devolves into me apologising for no reason (my default response to someone doing something to me or blaming me for something is to apologise. In my life I've just learned that that's the best course of action to minimise the harm, along with just being quiet and taking everything), and then I just leave. Usually I don't show myself there / around the people ever again if those people and the place aren't something I have to be around. If it's like, family or school, I usually don't show up for a few months, often I just tell my doc that I feel totally like shit and suicidal and she sends me to a psych ward for like 3 months. I never really told anyone any of that because it's embarrassing. People already think that I'm a lunatic r*tard for having ADHD (not making this up. A part of my family literally thinks that I should be locked away specifically for that, and when I told some of my peers that I have ADHD, they literally said "You're a r*tard ? But you don't look like one! I thought you were smart!"), I don't need people laughing at me because I have some memories that probably wouldn't make others feel the way I do.

I am so sorry that there are cruel people in the world. I could rant about how they are the very thing they are calling you but ill save my breath. First I'd like to point out that you do not need to be diagnosed with PTSD or CPTSD to have triggers. Trauma affects us. Our minds are sensitive and take a long time to heal. It sounds like your trauma leads you to have panic attacks. I used to have that happen to me a lot, its lessened out now so I have maybe one or two a year.

I understand what you mean when you say that the person seems like they don't want you in their life, I've had people do that to me. But in all honesty, its so much better that they aren't in my life. I went through ups and downs when I left/they pushed me away. And I wanted to come crawling back to them. They knew I would and they wanted that because my person was a manipulative b*#$%. I know your person might not be the same as mine but if they don't wanna be in your life then they don't deserve to have you. You are amazing. And no one should be able to take that away from you or make you feel less.

I know its lonely not having friends. I suck at making friends. When I moved across the country for this person and for school I had no one. The person treated me like dirt. And I had no friends. Then I moved home and was excited to have my old friends again. Only to see they didn't care anymore. They had made other friends and wanted nothing to do with me. So I get it. But keep trying to make friends. My biggest thing for me is to be open with people about my mental health from the start. That way you see who stays a lot quicker in than if you were to not say anything till you felt attached. It still hurts to see people leave after you tell them but it hurts less. I know there are lots of jerks in this world but there are a few golden people left.

Now to answer your question of how to get over someone who doesn't want you. It is hard. It won't be easy to clear the hurt but its possible. Talking about to someone and explaining all the emotions helps. But when you don't have anyone who will listen or don't have a therapist then writing out everything is the best option. Write a letter to the person and vent everything you feel. Then you can send it or burn it. I did that a few times, and I burnt the letters. Other ways are providing yourself with some self care. Find something that helps you think clearly and calms you. For me its sitting next to the river near my home or sitting in a hot shower for an hour. It can be anything you find helps as long as its healthy.

I dont know if I answered your question or not but basically it will take time but small things will ease the pain. Don't bottle feelings and be willing to forgive. Forgiveness takes time, im still working on it after 1.5 years. But it will happen.

Thanks for asking and if I can help in anyway im just a message away. ❤

[mousehole5000]

tgcf lb the fourth chapter 23 - 33

“hmmm looks like theres people in the fertilizer. i shan’t say a word” ok king of minding your business i guess

oh looks like it has a long tongue. oh i dont care for that at all

The build of their bodies were similar, and atop their shoulders, all of them carried cudgels that were densely covered in sharp wolf teeth. It created an illusion that a pack of wolves had transformed into people. attack of the furries? okay.

It was easy to comprehend after thinking about it. This person had been buried in the desert sand for fifty to sixty years. The flesh of his body had long been transformed into nutrients for those Kindred Moon Herbs. He had been entirely consumed until the only thing remaining was a mere skeleton. when this book isnt being very funny its being very grim!!! yikes!! also this was an episode of hannibal 

Ke Mo definitely had never heard someone ask to go first in this place. His eyes widened and looked like bells as he asked in astonishment, “You want to go first? For what reason??” Xie Lian naturally couldn’t reply and say it was because he wasn’t scared. Thus, he chose an answer that conformed with the norms of society. “General, these are merely innocent merchants just passing through. They even have a child amongst them.” - love watching the immortals trying to act like humans. would have been funny if xie lian had just hit em with “well i cant die so its chill”

That young man had crossed his arms. With an indifferent gaze, he thoughtfully sized up the deep Sinners’ Pit.　　 A bad premonition sprung up unbidden in Xie Lian’s heart. “San Lang?”　　 When he heard Xie Lian call him, San Lang turned his head. He smiled faintly and said, “Everything’s fine.” - edgy bastard lets go

What Ke Mo had been cursing was, “It’s this slut again!” - me when a corpse gets up and knocks all my soldiers into the sinner’s pit what a relatable reaction

oh now im switching translations here we go

does hua cheng just straight up transform in the darkness? edgy bastard. also  hualian having their little discussion while ke mo keeps trying to attack im still amused by these kinds of shenanigans

banyue guoshi ma’am your backstory.... rough. im on your side im sure you had your reasons

why do the soldiers keep her up near the top of the pit of death if she keeps getting up and knocking them all in? am i missing something? or are they just that dumb/dead fjdf;adjsf

fu yao: y’all alive? lmk. if not ill guess ill go back to the the merchants who totally promised to stay put in the circle. in case its not clear i do not care what happens to said merchants.

hua xie... of course thats the fucking name he picked. also looks like that wasnt so much a parallel being drawn between xie lian and the general as it was the same exact line

fasdlkfjsldfdsf god xie lian really has a hard time. you help some orphans, you try to keep people from dying, you try to save an orphan and you trip and get trampled but you cant die so you wake up in a river full of corpses and just float away. actually tbh i really appreciate him as an immortal character this is the shit i like to see. love xie lian ready to defend himself from the slander of being completely flattened. he was only mostly flattened

cunty vibes so strong all the wildlife in a 10 foot radius just chuck up the deuces and split

ITS RAINING SCORPION SNAKES. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH A REVEAL. love that the umbrella is just always on hand

okay i guess fucking. everyone is here now why not. we’re all in a hole covered in scorpions and everyone knows each other but not everyone is admitting it but we know. we know. still not 100% sure what is going wrt pei su/pei ming/general pei/pei junior im a bit confused idk

okay i cant explain it but im attached to him now.

i like banyue. i feel like theres going to be a few background female characters i really like but im not so sure theyll get a lot of development. wind master come back you and your lady friend i would like to know more of you. anyway fuck this pei guy(s?). also they just put banyue in a jar? fair enough

is xie lian another mc who cant cook? so much so that everyone who knows him just leaves if he offers? love that for him

okay we’ve got ONE identity admitted. i liked how casual it was. i wonder if hc was waiting for this bc yeah he was not subtle i feel like he definitely wanted xie lian to know. if he didnt then bruh. get lessons in how to act human please

screaming. no words. cant wait to meet him. and hua cheng please keep up the good work. i love that now we’re just. sitting. chatting. chilling. okay.

yeah it makes sense that hes an immortal i think you would have to take this attitude after 800 years

this authors note about not writing ugly characters.... fjkdalfdjfa obviously i dont think holding beauty as such high standard is good it warps our views and values etc etc but also i would expect nothing less from a story like this. yes we know everyone is going to be beautiful theyre immortal and beautiful and young forever

lmao at exile being a temporary banishment for crimes.... yeah that sounds about right tbh. rich elite fuckers

oh good we haven’t forgotten about human face disease boy. im wondering when we’re going to find out how important he will be bc he clearly matters otherwise he’d have been resolved already also yeah how tf does he have that disease that sure sounds like an issue

i dont like him. pei ming i also wish you to die of syphilis. also of fucking COURSE xie lian’s cultivation method doesnt let him read dirty books

im just saving this because its funny

okay lang qianqiu i see you falling asleep at the meeting. i like you already but you are not above suspicion. actually you know what i suspect you already. crown prince of the kingdom that conquered xianle? idk if youre good or bad but you know something i learned this lesson from beloved morally grey huaisang

okay last comment for this post. mxtx’s little authors note about everyone being straight except for hualian but you can make up headcanons as long as you dont split hualian up fjdlfakdj. i just find it silly to write a story thats so clearly for an audience that understands shipping and ships often and say not to split a specific couple up but i mean to be fair i kind of get it that sentiment as an author and not wanting people to do certain things with your work, although again i think its silly

i guess the point of this note is just to be clear that no one else is going to get together so no one argues about it and i dont actually know much about how this was published but it seems like it was serialized so i can see why that would be an issue. personally i dont really care for knowing stuff like that ahead of time but i know a lot of people do and it seems to be thing in other cnovels ive seen to know whos going to get together as far as major characters are concerned i guess thats part of the draw and i guess i kind of get it

not sure how much other romance will be in this but also i think its kind of ridiculous to be like “these are the only two gay characters” in a cast that just keeps growing but whatever shes really leaving that work up to the readers to make it happen which they’ll do anyways so whatever. also there had to be at least one of the 33 officials who fought hua cheng who thought he was hot. theres no way that didnt happen

[arthurmorganthings]

Red Room (2)

Pairing: Pornstar!Arthur/Costar!Fem Reader

Summary: Arthur returns a long awaited favor.

Warning: Contains very detailed depictions of smut.

A/N: for my fellow Arthur hoes @pomini-puttana, @arthursbitch, and @verai-marcel :)

Explicit: +18

You arrive at his condominium promptly after, opting to change into something more fit for the occasion. Your Rolex watch on the wrist and body con dress to compliment the crevices of each curve, cinched tightly to accentuate your hips. Arthur guides you past concierge through the text of his phone. he greets you with a welcoming smile. Comfortably dressed in grey sweatpants and white tank top he pivots his broad self—granting you entry. As you walk past, you can feel his eyes analyzing your choice of wear, sucking in his breath quietly as he shuts the door behind him.

His home was unapologetically modern. Brand new television, white Persian rug with a matching sofa set finish, and a vintage record player. The large windows overlooked the city beautifully though unbeknownst, Arthur was an avid fan of the arts. You'd observe as messy piles of old sketches were scattered in one area in particular. Several studies of contemporary artists filled the off-white walls of his living room. You also notice photos of a child next to what presumably is his mother. His soft blonde locks matched Arthur's, he even has his eyes. 

"It's, it's my son." He confirms, sheepishly. "Isaac."  

You glanced at him as you pondered what to say next. He bears a striking resemblance to his father. Same colored eyes, tan skin complexion, even his locks of hair to the nape of his neck is a painstakingly obvious indicator of Arthur's genetics. 

"How old is he?" You inquire, though you shouldn't—curiosity piques its interest as you observe the woman next to the child in the photo. She looks young, around her mid-twenties. Her brown locks of hair pressed neatly for the family photo; a beat of silence ensues.  

As if hesitant to respond, you add for him. "Unless you're comfortable of course." Another overbearing silence follows causing guilt to wash over you. Arthur returns to the living room with a few candy bars and gummy bears, placing them on the coffee table as he finds comfort next to you.  "Nah, you're alright. He's about five years old. His momma is very protective of 'im. Spoils that kid she does." He mumbles while grabbing the remote. "So, I don't want to seem like some cheesy bastard but I'm about to put on some Netflix. Any recommendations?" 

Giggling on instinct, you nod. "I never pegged you for a Netflix kind of guy." You glance again and you swore that a glint of mischief found him, in that one second. Excitement coursed through your veins at the idea of repeating earlier today. Though he did say he'd be returning the favor, the question would soon come to fruition as to when he'd be able to—perhaps now, or when the movie began to build gradually.   

And it did, Arthur didn't miss a beat to play his favorite western film starring Clint Eastwood. "Well, I ain't too fond of Netflix aside from a few shows. I'm never watchin' TV." Just the way he spoke was enough to voluntarily chafe your thighs together. A gentle reminder of what could potentially happen in a matter of minutes. You nod, reclining even further onto the leather sofa. Arthur isn't as naïve as he may let on, he's a man that slowly builds tension. You'd assume he purposely wore grey sweatpants to tempt you into glancing—your resilience is admirable in that regard, you note mentally. 

"I agree, cable television sucks." You acknowledge, though regretting you worn a dress that ride up to the thighs. It wasn't helping that your slick essence pooled at the center neither, nor you going commando. Almost sure that Arthur seen you sit abruptly, awaiting his response.   

"Sure. Can I ask you a question?" Your heart drops to the center of your stomach before nodding. You glimpse, only to find his emerald-like senses etched to yours. Clearing your throat as you blink.   

"Shoot." Your voice squeaks slightly as you slap yourself mentally for losing your composure in front of Arthur. Admittedly, a man of his stature can be quite intimidating, he is a good man—knowingly.   

"What made you start—uh, you know, filmin?"

You could tell he tried to go about this question respectfully, and you could admire that. You smile at him before releasing a sigh.  

"Nothing too exciting. I felt like life was all about living up to norms, so I figured porn would be a fun way to start." Arthur chuckles, amusingly, admiring your crass language.

"Nothin' too excitin?' you coulda been way off in school than doin' this."  

Again, you shrug, indifferent. "I became an adult film star to rebel against my parents. My father drowned his problems in what money could buy—or what women could charge. My mother never complained, on her way to the bank that is." You reply. "I guess you can say my family is, a bit dysfunctional."  

Arthur blinks, a bit loss for words. He nods in understanding and presses no longer. He averts his attention back to the film. A bit of guilt does linger in his mind, perhaps had he not pressed on about academics, the current tension wouldn't be so awkward.

One thing Arthur could admit to is his wrongs. The last thing he wants is for you to be upset.  

He clears his throat as his eyes stay glued to his high-definition TV. "Listen, I didn't mean to come off as rude. I apologize."  Your brows furrowed before clearing your throat, "Arthur, you've been nothing but good to me."  

"Some things are better left bein' unsaid."   He feels it, your soft, dainty fingers make contact with his thigh. The feel of your hand rub dangerously close to his center.

He balls his fists, in hopes he could keep his brazen side at bay; for a little longer at least. The objective was to make you feel good one way Arthur knew how. You felt his body language grow rigid.

He's holding back. This makes your smirk widen as your fingers finds the outline of his "print," shamelessly hardening at the touch. Palming him, he sucks in a breath before exhaling, his eyes glancing at you in a daze.

"You don't want to do that woman." His voice, a few octaves lower. "Not before I make you feel good first."

"Oh?"  upon initial shock, you find yourself straddling him as if he were some saddle. Your hips gently grinding at where you needed him most. "And what does making me feel good compose of?"

At this point your cunt was throbbing with subdued excitement as you grab Arthur's balled fists, now unraveled against yours, before pressing them onto your breasts. You moan his name softly, but powerful enough for him to grunt. "Tell me, Arthur. How are you going to make me cum?"

You figured it was only a matter of time until Arthur's patience wore thin, surprisingly lasting longer than his set time. You find yourself on your back, atop his expensive couch, devouring your neck while his thick fingers fondle with your pussy.

"You wanna know how I'll make you cum?" Arthur sighs, as his hardened cock grazes your leg. "I've always been a man of action, so why don't I gone head an' show you?"

You gasp, releasing a moan as he encircled your clit with his fingers, teasing you as he trailed down from your neck to your breasts slowly—as if memorizing your body's response to him. He notes how you open yourself to him more when he's at a spot you enjoy, subtle eye contact upon foreplay, and his own response to you.

"Shit." You whisper as his tongue finally reaches where you desperately need them to be. Never mind how drenched your cunt was as Arthur removes your thong with his teeth—when his tongue teases at your inner thigh, he looks up at you to assess the damage.

And oh, was there damage. Your teeth bit painfully deep onto your bottom lip in anticipation. Your neck craned forward while your hand was at the back of Arthur's head.

"Please, ple—oh, fuuuuck." You slurred as his tongue works it's magic at your clit, lapping at your essence while keeping eye contact. Your neck falls back into some pillows while your mouth forms silent 'ohs,' gripping at the locks of his hair, grinding your nether lips into his face.

Your grip on his hair tightened with every painfully slow lap of his mouth, your cries of pleasure only grew in volume, "Yes, keep going just like that."

"Just like that?" he teased. "Or maybe a little more?" He hummed at your lips as he slid his finger inside.

You grew rigid as your jaw fell slack, the squelching of your mound only sounding the room. Your walls tightened as Arthur continued his ministrations, his eyes never leaving yours. Time to time he'd hum, mumbling words like "you taste so good," to push you over the edge.

"Oh fuck, yes." Your voice projects. "Arthurrrr."

His body arises, softly adding another finger as his forehead makes contact with yours. You reached nirvana better than any man could make you reach—you questioned if you'd fallen in love with Arthur with what little time you two spent acquainting yourselves with each other. To make matters worst Arthur uses the pad of his thumb, stimulating your clit as his breath hitches—he knows he has you where he wants you.

Eyes fluttering, clenching of teeth, and hips swiveling in pursuit of your release. You were almost to your peak as you let your body let go, your eyes rolling back as you squirt all over his hands. Your voice was embarrassingly loud, perhaps enough to wake neighbors even.

Arthur didn't allow you intervals of recovery before filling you to the hilt. His cock undeniably hard, you gasp in pleasure as he rams his girth. Your cries of erotic sounds could be heard from far and wide.

Beads of sweat accumulate on your co-stars head as he grunts, his face contorting as his blue eyes find yours. Your heart swirls nearly before your fingers nail his back.

"Fuck." You gasp, "fuck me Arthur—you're so fucking good."

He groans approvingly at your crassness, your ability to tune into your primal mind and let yourself come undone. Arthur smirks as his hands find comfort around your neck, squeezing tenderly as he pistons faster—deeper.

"You like it when I play rough huh darlin'?"

Yes. You loved it, you loved every second of this. His onslaught of rough-play atop his demeanor and bulky self. If you could be underneath Arthur in such a compromising position forever—you would.

Suddenly a change in position shifted as you found yourself on top of Arthur’s body. His hands on the side of your hips as you rode his to bliss. His eyes fluttering close as a familiar tightness in his belly arised. His hands smacked your ass roughly as you slapped your hips harder against his pelvis—his cock grazing the g-spot expeditiously.

“Oh my god, ye—hm, I’m close Arthur.”

“Where do you want me?” You blush at his suggestion, but kept your pace nonetheless. He notes your hesitation, moving his hips at the spot your need him most—you see black.

“Oh fuck–inside me. I want you inside me.”

That was enough to tip the older man over the edge as he pumped his seed deeply, your pussy warm with remnants of him as you remove yourself from his now softening cock.

You collapse on top of him as you both take time to recollect your breathing. There’s a comforting silence as you hear the beat of his heart. His arms wrapped around you tightly as he kisses the back of your head softly. “Not bad for a favor returned Mr. Morgan.”

He chuckles softly before rubbing the small of your back, “Who said anything about the night bein’ done? Darlin’ we just star-“

The conversation cut short by the sound of Arthur’s phone. He apologizes swiftly, motioning for you to sit up as you oblige immediately, though followed by a tinge of curiosity.

“Shit,” He reads the caller ID from his cell.

“What?”

He sighs, a smirk playing on his lips, as if he already knows what’s coming. “It’s the receptionist from the front desk.”

He answers reluctantly, placing the call on speaker. He sighs, “Good evening, Ms. Grimmshaw!”

“Mr. Morgan! Could you please keep it down. Again, I have noise complaints from folk your hall. If you’re going to have company for the love of God control your noise levels. Don’t make me have to kick you and that harlot out!”

Before Arthur could get a word in the line clicked dead, earning an amusing stare from you.

Both of you erupting in a fit of laughter.

=

Debating on if I wanna do the final part but FINALLY, after all of that waiting it’s here :);) enjoy

[larissaloki]

sharing is caring 5

chapter 5 is here!! hope you enjoy and thanks to my beta for checking this through! @schwergaeneuser @msmynx @im-tops-bottom @jacksonfrost24 @seven-oomen @el-rezet @thoughtfulbreadpolice @cwar1864 @starsofyggdrasil 

Leading the way through the pristine yet beautifully decorated corridors, Bucky takes Tony up to the private wing. This small area of the palace had only a cluster of rooms, just a small branch off from the main body of the palace, yet still as beautiful and welcoming as the rest of it. Decorative robes and tapestries and what Tony was sure were hand-made ornaments, were arranged in a tasteful way.

 Moving to a large window located in one of the communal sitting rooms, with various other windows allowing in light, giving the room a cheery glow, bright and yet soothing on his weary eyes, Tony gazes out on the gorgeous view. The city below is so full of hustle and bustle, a remarkable mixture of traditional buildings and newer more tech savvy ones. A wonderful example of how two very different concepts can work together.

 Beyond the city, Tony can see the jungles, mountains, and plains filled with wild animals. Rhinos are charging about in one massive area of land. Skilled riders on the backs of the great beasts, they seem to be practising manoeuvre’s, as you would expect any cavalry to do.

 “Great view you get up here Frosty, I’m almost jealous,” teasingly, Tony peers over his shoulder at his quiet companion who is watching Tony carefully. Paying more attention, Tony can see some stiffness in the lines of Bucky’s body. Tony isn’t stupid, he can guess what’s the cause of all that stiffness and frankly, it’s probably about the right time to talk it all out.

  Making sure to keep his body posture relaxed, calling on his Showman Stark persona a bit to give off an air of indifference, Tony makes his way over to the ridiculously comfy looking sofas and armchairs. Seriously, how is everything so much comfier looking? Tony needs the name of T’Challa’s decorator.

 “Got something on your mind Elsa?”

 Mouth opening and closing a few times, Bucky mulls over in his head what he wants to say as he slowly, carefully sits in a chair opposite Tony; noticeably much closer to the door as well.

 Keeping quiet, Tony gives Bucky time to gather his thoughts and what he wants to say, Tony almost wishes for the much more relaxed atmosphere in the lab from earlier, but unfortunately in an adult world you gotta adult.  

 Finally, Bucky seems to have found the words he wants to say.

 “Why are you being nice to me? Not that I’m not complaining! I’m just…I didn’t expect… I expected you to hate me, be cold towards me after…” Bucky trails off, both knowing the event he means.

 Humming to himself, Tony leans back into the cushions and barely holds in a whimper of joy at how he just sinks into the cushions.

 “Well, I’m not going to lie  Buckster, at first I did hate you. I hated you for killing my mom.” Bucky flinched at that. “And I hated Steve for having all that time to tell me, even hated Natasha, who had all the time to tell me herself, but neither of them did. Neither told me in a controlled way. Not even a compassionate way. They let some angry asshole throw it in my face. I was so angry that Steve would ride my ass for keeping secrets, or for not talking to the team about my plans, yet he was withholding this information about my family from me.”

 Sighing, eyes closing, Tony rubbed the back of his neck, his shoulders slumping as weariness started to take over. He was tired from the healing process and the Vibranium ball incident and, really, from the struggle and trauma of the plane crash. But mostly, he thinks he might be more tired of this on-going drama.

 “I am still bitter about what Steve and Natasha did, it will take a long, long while for things to be ok again between the three of us. However, the hate towards you?” Tony raises his gaze to look Bucky right in the eye at this, allowing Bucky to see how sincere he is. “It went away. After I had time to calm down after you and Steve left and I got back home finally, my hate changed to... I wouldn’t say pity, but I did feel sorry for you. I knew you had been through hell, what Hydra had done, my anger instead turned on those who used you. As it rightfully should be.”

 Leaning forward in his seat, leaning closer to Bucky, Tony gives him a small hesitant smile. Heart racing in elation when he receives a small, shaky one in response.

 “So in summary, while I was at first angry due to the situation we were in, and the way I was told, Steve’s betrayal not helping. I lost myself and wrongfully attacked you. After having time to process it all, and being able to step back and logically think it through, I know you are not the one to blame James.”

 Jolting a bit in surprise at Tony using his actual first name, Bucky swallows a few times his throat feeling like it is full of lead as he takes in what Tony is telling him. Clearing his throat several times, finally, Bucky nods at Tony, his voice soft but a bit rough with emotions.

 “Thank you Tony and I’m sorry you found out about it all that way…if it means anything, I have told Steve that you deserved to have been told everything in person and much sooner”

 Huffing through his nose ruefully, Tony shakes his head as he tries to imagine that.

 “Thanks Bucko, but you don’t need to apologise” It was Steve he wanted, needed to hear that from, “I’m just glad you’re looking better than you did back then, healthier and if I heard the others right, on the road to being in control again?”

 Relaxing finally more fully and leaning back to relax into the cushions, rather than sit on the edge of the chair. Bucky smiles more steadily and nods in agreement.

 “Shuri and T’Challa and even M’Baku have helped a lot since I came here, Shuri helped get rid of the triggers and T’Challa gave me work when I felt more stable, and for a bit I lived in a nearby village with my goats. Just for small periods at a time, to get used to being in public places again. Being around regular people again. The kids there are adorable.”

 The more he spoke, the bigger the grin on Bucky’s face grew, his frame becoming more open and languid. More comfortable, which pleased Tony greatly. Tony hated conflict and awkward silences, possibly more than Vanko and his bastardisation of Tony’s tech.

 As Bucky was getting into a story of how one determined goat kept trying to stick its horns up Bucky’s backside as he worked, M’Baku finally arrived, politely knocking on the door, with a trolley full of a great variety of foods and drinks for them all in tow. 

 Flashing them a grin, the towering Alpha brought the trolley through to where they were sat, “Sorry it took so long, I wasn’t sure what sort of food you would like,”

 With a flourish, M’Baku removed lids and dish coverings to reveal many different things. One of the dishes was a stew/soup dish called Egusi; a dish of ground up melon seeds, leafy vegetables and small chunks of meat. Thieboudienne; a dish of fish, rice and tomato sauce and an assortment of vegetables (possible what the dish Savannah red rice was modeled after.). a pudding like dish that Tony had to ask for the name of which was apparently called Moin Moin. On the next row was a large plate of chips, seasoned in spaces and next to it was a plate filled with Sambaza, a small fish that’s been deep fried and covered in lemon. Brochette and Sambusa make up the rest of that row. On the bottom row was mashed pumpkin, yams, Biltong which is sliced dried meat, seasoned with spices and smoked. Boerewors, a form of long spiral sausage. Some Drywors made up last of the meat dishes. Littered in the small gaps are small plates of slices of cakes that have been carefully placed on.

 Tony can feel his mouth water as he looks over each dish, some he recongises from business trips to both East and West countries on the continent, but all look equally delicious. Tony isn’t surprised to feel a bit of drool escape as he lifts his hand to quickly wipe it away.

 Laughing lightly, Bucky gets up and hands him a plate as he and M’Baku start to plate up.

 “You going to sit there staring? Come eat, before it gets cold!” Smirking, M’Baku quickly moves to the side as Tony rushes over, suddenly realizing just how hungry he is.

 After shoveling food onto his plate until no more would fit, Tony settled at a small table with the two Alphas; Bucky producing some drinks for them as they ate in companionable silence. Tony was surprised how nice the Egusi was, God he wished Peter, Pepper or Rhodey were here with him. They would all love the food here, maybe next time he would bring them.

 “How long will you be in Wakanda, Stark?” M’Baku broke the silence after they all had nearly two servings each, hunger now somewhat abated enough to eat more slowly.

 Dabbing his mouth clean, Tony stopped inhaling his food long enough to answer, “Well I was originally going to stay here for a week. However, with the reveal of what caused me to crash, I may end up needing to leave sooner. T’Challa is gathering all the evidence and collaborating with Jarvis first”

 Frowning a bit, unhappy that this visit could be cut short, M’Baku huffed to himself quietly, “Shame. I’d love to give you the grand tour of Wakanda. My kids would also love to meet you. I was going to invite White Wolf here as well.” Grinning with unending glee at the nickname Bucky had been given by the locals, M’Baku sips his drink before looking back at the smaller Omega. “Who caused this crash though? Send them my way, please, my children could use with a new hunting target.”

 Snorting at the mental image of Hammer being chased by a horde of small kids, Tony was almost tempted to take him up on that offer but reluctantly behaved himself.

 “As tempting as that sounds, I should let my lawyers tackle Justin Hammer. I’ve been far too good lately and I fear they must be bored. Though I’ll bring it as a suggestion for community service.”

 Laughing good naturedly, M’Baku sips his drink in between chuckles. Bucky now looking up at Tony curiously.

 “It was Justin Hammer that caused it? Isn’t he the engineer that couldn’t even make a functional mechanical pencil?”

 Roaring even louder with laughter at that, M’Baku nearly spills his drink. “Any idiot could make one of those! Given that you have all the right parts that is,”

 Smirking as he starts on a pudding, Tony nods at Bucky’s question.

 “That’s the guy. I’ve never seen such a terrible engineer in my life, I’m surprised the government kept him on contract for as long as they did to be honest. So glad that marriage fell through…” 

 Both alphas pause briefly at that, Tony had been engaged? That was new information to them, for a guy whose entire life was practically advertised on the daily, you would expect this to be in the news regularly. Or at least common knowledge.

 “You were engaged to Hammer? What happened?” Unable to help himself, M’Baku inquired. Drink now forgotten as he tries to temper down the small flicker of rising jealousy.

 Making a face of disgust, Tony nods. “Yeah, years ago when Hammer’s family became more well known. Good ol’ dad decided to arrange with Justin’s father to marry me and Justin when I hit 21. When my parents died-“ Bucky grimaced “-Obie took over and while he disliked Hammer a lot, mostly he wanted to keep control of Stark Industries. Couldn’t do that if I married Justin, so he broke off the contract and freed me from that future. I know he did it for selfish reason but boy am I glad he did.”

 Pushing his empty plate away, M’Baku leans back in his seat, his thick arms crossing over his barrel of a chest.

 “If you change your mind about how to deal with this Hammer, remember my offer. I’ll even include a boat ride experience for him.” The grin that M’Baku shares tells Tony that Hammer would not enjoy this ‘boat ride’. Despite how innocuous it sounded, but Tony suspects that he himself might enjoy watching.

 “You know, you and my friend Banner would get along great. Remind me to introduce you to him sometime!”

if you love my writing you can buy me a coffee here! -   https://ko-fi.com/larissaloki any donations, send a message with a paring and i shell do an exclusive little ficlet for you! and if i do get donations, other littlw works will be posted exclusively there as well. 

[pokemagines]

slipping. (alfonse x reader)

anon asked: “I know FE requests are closed...but can we maybe have a little angsty thing about Alfonse's impending doom? Pwease? You're good with these things..”

a/n: LISTEN THIS IS SO GALAXY BRAIN IVE BEEN IN AN ANGST MOOD AND I SAW THIS AND ??? im screaming miss hel please give back my blueberry boy !!! please he is my husb i have children ,,,,

also this is def nothing canon i just really wanted to write angst but stil @ intsys hire me --mod touko

day one:

   you had not had enough time to process what was going on. in some strange way, it was like a fever dream. her words, cold and bitter as ice didn’t even seem to reach you. you were far away in your own thoughts, as you tried to push down any proof that your boyfriend was going to die. it wasn’t real, and you weren’t going to accept it. 

   and then he got sick.

day three:

   it started out with a small cough, one that he tried to hide from you as you spent all day at his side, refusing to leave. alfonse assured you that you would find a way to undo her curse, but you didn’t know. it seemed impossible: odds that you had beaten before, yes, but you weren’t sure your luck would hold on for much longer. he notices how distant you look despite keeping a grip on his arm at all times as you flip through ancient books on curses and anything you can find on the realm of the dead.

   alfonse sits beside you, flipping through book pages with one hand and letting you hold his other. every so often he finds something that could prove useful for you to write down in your notes. so far you really don’t have anything besides a bit of information on hel and others who have succumbed to her curse. 

   eir doesn’t seem to want to speak on it, as she says she doesn’t remember much about her mother’s curses, but she looks grim when you ask her if there’s any way you can get rid of it. 

day five: 

   each day you spend time with alfonse, trying desperately to find answers in askr’s library, but it seems hopeless. the prince seems determined though, reassuring you over and over that you would find a way to fix this. anna was working to help eir remember anything, while sharena was keeping watch. if hel struck again you would be ready.

   you started noticing physical changes in alfonse, where it was just once a cough, now he seemed paler and more tired. when you mentioned it, he said he was fine, that he just didn’t get enough sleep last night (despite the fact he slept soundly beside you from what you remembered. if anything, it was you awake worrying about the next few days). he even fell asleep on your shoulder during the day’s meeting, something that he would never do were he well.

   you let him sleep, while you listen to all of anna’s intel gathered while talking to eir and some of the villagers who had heard of hel. it wasn’t much but you were clinging to every bit of knowledge you could get. anna’s gaze softens as she looks at you, the prince still asleep on your shoulder.

   “we’ll save him,” she says, her usually chipper voice now serious. “i promise.” you want to say you know, that you’ll do it together like you always did, but your voice catches in your throat. 

   “gods, i hope so.”

day six:

   it’s over halfway to the day where hel promised to take alfonse. you feel desperate, like an animal slowly being cornered with no where else to run. 

   you can’t stand how people shoot you sympathetic glances in the hallway like he’s already dead. he’s not, not if you had any say in the matter. despite the pessimism of the first few days, it’s like a fire had ignited in your chest. you couldn’t mope around and do nothing, reading books and trying to find a way around this was better than nothing. 

   meanwhile, alfonse refused to leave your side, despite the some of the healers pleading for him to go to the infirmary ward. he didn’t seem to be showing signs of any certain disease. every day he grew weaker, until the point he could hardly walk without leaning against you for support. you didn’t mind helping him, you could handle helping him around for the rest of your life if you needed to. 

   he can’t keep his hands off you. you don’t know if it’s weakness or what but seems to have lost all his inhibitions as he kisses you over and over no matter where you are, even in front of others. 

   “why all the affection?” you chuckle, as he places another kiss to your cheek. you’re in his lap as you continue to rummage through books in the library, your tired eyes hardly able to understand what it is you’re reading, but you press on nevertheless.

   “just... in case.” he mumbles, resting his chin on your shoulder, his arms encircling your waist. “you deserve so much love, [name], i’m just giving you everything i was too afraid to give you when i wasn’t... sick.” it sounds like he’s given up, so you turn to face him, straddling his lap.

   “hey, you’re going to be around for a long time, okay? don’t say things like that...” tears threaten to spill over, but you force yourself to be strong. for him. 

   “...of course.” his voice sounds sad.

day seven:

   he could now not walk. he was confined to the bed in the medical ward, you and healers surrounding him all day. nothing seemed to be working though, and with each hour, it seemed like he was slipping through your fingers.

   “i brought you something.” sharena says, and despite a smile stretched out on her face, it doesn’t reach her eyes. you know she’s suffering as much as you, and so you accept the small gesture. placing the soup she has on the bedside table for later. 

   “any news?” you ask her, your voice gravelly from lack of use. she grabs your hand, squeezing reassuringly.

   “no, nothing we haven’t thought of.” she sighs, leaning her head on your shoulder. “hel’s forces have been silent. there’s nothing we can do now but wait.” hearing that from sharena, a carefree optimist somehow hurt more than the words from hel herself. 

   “when hel comes to take him... i’ll...” you clear your throat, “i’m going to ask her to take me instead. maybe she’ll--”

   “no. you can’t do that!” she squeaks, “you mean so much to this army and--”

   “but he means so much to you. and to me. he’s a prince and i’m sure there are other summoners out there the universe can choose but--”

   “but none of them are you!” her voice breaks, tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. “you... you can’t... you think alfonse will ever forgive himself if you do?”

   “i’ve decided. i’m sorry sharena but...” you squeeze her hand, “i have to. it’s the only way.” she’s silent, the gears turning in her head. it’s then she makes up her mind. she smiles at you, a real smile this time, full of warmth.

   “i don’t think you’ll need to do that, [name].” 

day nine:

   you sob, holding onto alfonse’s hand as he slowly slips out of consciousnesses. he’s so deathly pale and weak he hardly looks like the man who confessed to you, nervously spilling his guts to you with the brightest blush on his face as he awaits rejection. it never came, much to his delight. you could never reject someone as sweet and kind as him. his eyes were bright and full of hope as he thanked you after you told him how you felt in return. you can still remember those words loud and clear: 

   “i don’t know the true reason why you were brought here but… without you, i dare not think where we would be… where i would be. you make me want to be a better man, so… stay by my side forever?”

   he promised forever. he promised. it wasn’t fair. 

   hel sits on the railing of the balcony, looking at you with pitying stares. you, sharena, and anna all hugging each other and crying. you begging for him to keep his eyes open, stroking his face lovingly. despite his weakness, he told sharena to be the responsible leader he knew she could be. asked anna to continue leading the army with courage. he assured you that you could be happy, even without him there. to not lose your optimism and hope that you gave to everyone in the army. alfonse apologized for not being able to be there for you three.

   you couldn’t save him. you lost. he was going to die and you had to sit helpless and watch him suffer until his last breath. god, why didn’t he listen to his father for once? why did you encourage him to take on hel? you sob harder into his chest, his hand gripped tightly in yours.

   hel creeps closer, slowly as to let you say your goodbyes. the three of you finally notice, and anna draws her weapon. she looks to the redhead, then back to alfonse. 

   “hel! please,” you beg, voice breaking off, “take me instead, i p-promise just... don’t let alfonse die. please.” you’re desperate, and now that you’ve got her where you want her, you have to say your part. nothing could kill her, she was death itself, but maybe she would make a trade.

   “it is not destined for you to die, little one.” she touches your head, her fingers ice cold and you feel like lunging at her. hel floats above alfonse, readying her scythe, and you scream at her not to. “i would say my last words, if i were you.”

   “wait, if not them, than me.” sharena’s voice is defiant, angry tears in her eyes. “you want a child of askr? then take me.” anna grabs her arm, telling her to stop, but hel freezes, turning her steely, indifferent gaze to sharena. 

   “very well.” she says, “either child will suffice. and i see a determination in your eyes that intrigues me.” you scream at sharena, telling her to stop. hel extends her hand, and the blonde gives the two of you a smile, leaning over and kissing the tears on your cheek. you grip onto her, telling her not to do this, before she extends her own hand to hel.

   “i'm sorry.” she whispers to you, “take care of alfonse for me, ‘kay?” she tries to sound chipper, before the two disappear into nothingness.

   “...[name]?” alfonse whispers, rubbing at his head, “i’m... what happened?” you sit in shock, both you and anna silent as you try and process what just happened. “you did it.” he squeezes your hand, which you had been gripping the whole time.

   “where’s sharena?” he asks, and you can’t look in his eyes. once more, he repeats the question. hot tears fall down your cheeks, your eyes puffy and red from all the crying you’ve been doing. anna looks to you to see if you’re going to answer. his grip grows tighter.

   “where is she, [name]... anna?”. he says, much quieter and scared this time. you can only whisper out a weak: 

   “she’s gone, alfonse, i’m sorry.”

[manchair]

Can you do a Jaehyun zodiac personality analysis (if you do that sorta thing) I always see your tags mentioning his sign im curious about a more in-depth analysis ANYWWAYS LOVE YOUR TAGS ON JAE POSTS HAVE A GOOD DAY OR NIGHT :)🥰

Wow I am the most amateur of all astrologers ever, but I’m also a Libra and therefore always willing to give my two cents 😂 

Is there anything more ‘Jaehyun’ than having his birthday be literal Valentine’s day? *Swoon.* People with their sun in Aquarius are naturally distant, but it’s not personal. Jaehyun’s personality is a little more apparent to observers because he’s constantly under a microscope with promotions and behind the scenes videos. I have long thought that had Jae grown up in the US, he’d be a whole ass fuckboy. However, he didn’t, so instead I think he’s just more impressionable and less individualistic than most people with his sign. Take his interactions with Chenle: he’s easily influenced by Chenle’s craziness and might even behave more like him regularly if they weren’t so heavily monitored. This sun sign means he’s open minded af (confirmed by how well he gets along with foreigner line) and independent. Says what he means and means what he says. He’s easily misunderstood because he has a lethal combination of Hot Person Syndrome, aloof Aquarius, and indifferent Taurus leanings: he doesn’t like that people think of him as shallow and just a pretty face, but he’s more concerned with figuring who he wants to be than wasting time clearing up the doubts of other people. I see him as being pretty self-aware but also unsure of what to do with this awareness lol

Our boy is a Taurus moon. Since Taurus is ruled by Venus, Jaehyun can be lazy at times and vain most of the time. The fact that he can easily pick up on dance routines and only needs to put minimal effort into having great skin pleases him greatly. Enjoys praise and compliments. Prone to stubbornness and seeking familiarity because of his moon, this tendency is tempered by his sun that makes him crave freedom to change. He appreciates the simple things in life. I think he’s working on being as secure in who he is as a person as he is in his looks because that boy knows he’s good-looking. He will most likely have a hard time deciphering what he wants and needs, so he really appreciates the people in his life who can help give him direction. (I’m guessing one of those people is his grandmother, seeing as he even changed his legal name to follow along with her wishes.)

His rising sign is Pisces, so man oh man does this boy struggle with figuring out who he is when it’s just so easy for him to go with the flow and let his mood be determined by the people around him. He prefers to stay positive. I can see this as making him not like facing hard truths or reality. It makes me think he’s either cool as a cucumber or a complete mess, no in between. He knows he mirrors others a lot and that it can become a problem, but it will take him time to learn how to command his emotions and feel them instead of just analyzing them. He’s still working on mastering the art of presenting himself in an intentional way. Like the rest of us, this boy just needs a little more time to mature!

That’s all I’ve got lol Hope that was the kind of thing you were looking for 🙂

[kendrixtermina]

Disclaimer For Potential Partners (f/m/x)

Writing this down as much to gather my thoughts and go into this with clear priorities as for possible future reference. 

My mother always told me that if you wanted everyone to like you, you’d have to be a 50 dollar bill. I have come to accept that I’m more like licorice. Some people aren’t gonna like me but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t others who would appreciate me. 

I’d rather you run away screaming NOW than in three years when we’re both invested so Let’s get all this out of the way:

I’m bisexual. Yes, I’ve dated dudes in the past. I’ve had a brief online flirt with an agender person and do think androgynous ppl are hot which I suppose would make me pan in some ppl’s books, at this point the choice in label is purely aesthetic. I’m looking for a female partner right now because I’ve always had a slight preference for girls anyways but a sufficiently compatible non-female would not be refused. 

Because ppl have gotten this wrong in the past: Preference is about how likely you are to notice that someone is hot in the first place like in the early stages. It doesn’t mean my attachment to those dudes was any less “real” (or the other way around!) I just flat out don’t care whats in your pants there are other things to be picky about

From since I was young, the message I got from music, books etc is that it’s pretty bad to say “I love you” unless you truly mean it. So I don’t say “I love you” until I’m 100% sure I can do that it good conscience. It seems that it takes me a bit longer to be sure than most people, but it’s not like I’ve conducted statistics on this

I’m not vegan/vegetarian and I’m never going to be vegan/vegetarian

I’m not a pet person 

I’m not a sporty person and I’m never going to be a sporty person

Go through my stuff, spy on me in any way or ask me to tell you where I am at all times and its over

I’m an antiprohibitionist and don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with taking recreational substances. Conversely, I’m not interested in that sort of thing as a full-on lifestyle either. 

I try to keep an open mind and try everything once but im probably not gonna reorganize my life around new age woo-woo. 

So far my folks have liked most my partners, but if our social circles don’t get along I’m comfortable with leaving them separate. 

I believe in judging people as individuals first. I don’t wanna hear no paranoid shit about “the muslims” or other stereotypical carricatures but if you’re gonna be “europeans that europeans this” as if im not in the room its not gonna work. 

Don’t be fooled by the foreign-sounding surname im a potato through and through. No exotic fanservice to be had here. 

Barring unforseen dictatorships, I don’t want to move out of Europe. I like it here. Its full of frustrating dumbasses but so is the rest of the world.  Yay for cheese and consumer protection laws! I would consider moving closer to the shore though. 

It’s fine if you don’t speak German but you should not hate or dislike it.  English is a plus because me, my friends and my family are into internet culture

I haven’t spoken to my father in five years. No, you’re not going to patch this up. You don’t have to ignore him too if you’re not comfortable but you’ll have to respect my choice instead of playing family therapist or throwing platitudes about forgiveness at me. 

Im not counting and it depends on your definition but Ive fucked at least 15-20 people, which according to statistics is above average? Always used rubber unless it was long-term and exclusive tho. That might bother some ppl. 

That said it has been my conclusion that fucking does nothing that a beer can’t do and that the real quality stuff is what you could already do as a grade schooler when you still thought of all the grownup stuff as mystical. Having ice cream together, exploring new places, having contemplative conversations in the rain, telling each other your fantasies? That’s The Stuff. 

Hence while I wouldn’t turn down some fuckage along the way what im looking for at this point is someone to share life and grow old with, like there doesn’t need to be the expectation of further strings but the end goal RN is to find One That Sparks Joy(TM) that will get precedence

I’m not big on material gifts or the ritual part of dating if thats important to you I might not be the ideal candidate, but if its not thats probably good for your wallet

I’m a strong introvert. Sometimes I go weeks without talking to anyone other than my boss or maybe texting my relatives. If you’re very introverted or work alot this might be an advantage. Of course if I love you I will try my best to match up to your attention needs but if you need your partner to text you 15 times every day to feel good I might just not be your cup of tea

That doesn’t mean im not interested in going on or doing new experiences. I very much hope to do that together with you just not 5 days a week - if you can’t give new things wholehearted tries things might get uncomfortable

I like spicy food and all sort of asian cousine, but if you can’t stand the sight of cheese, asparagus and sausage it’s not gonna work either. I can obviously put less chili in your portion. 

I tend to talk fast and I find it hard to stop it even if I try, if that bothers you look elsewhere

I cannot stand forced optimism OR over-the top misanthropy or snobbishness. I will gush about things, but I like my dark edgy content and I stand by it. It is an advantage if you like talking about art. If you don’t like morbid humor that might be a problem

No diet talk

No perfectionism

No passive aggressive ppl or ppl that are uncomfortable with direct confrontation. That won’t work, we’d just set each other off even without meaning to and it would just be sad. If Im doing something wrong don’t expect me to notice by magic, tell me to my face so I can fix it. Don’t be hostile out of nowhere and don’t beat around the bush. 

im not religious or spiritual. I don’t mind if you are but if you want to have kids and bring them up strongly-immersed in some Abrahamic faith im not sure if this is the right adress

No anti-intellectualism (no snobbery, elitism or smartassery either - as a wise pig once said, “Knowledge is a horizon to strive for, not a prize to hold in your hand” It begins with realizing what you don’t know)

Indifferent about monogamy, but I wouldn’t say that I’m the sort of person who needs non-monogamy either.  If you want to we can do it (write me out some list of where you draw the lines so there’s no misunderstandings) but if you don’t it’s no biggie. I don’t care if you fuck 10 other people - for me, respect, honor and loyalty are to do with other things, like, don’t make fun of me and don’t expect me to change because one (1) person said I’m weird or whatever.

Don’t give me diseases tho. I’ll take precautions to extend the same courtesy to you.  

Potential character flaws: I can be a tad sensitive, disorganized and defensive sometimes, not gonna sugarcoat it. I have no filter and curse like a sailor. Also I have zero social skills and sometimes I come across as either angry or unemotional when its really the opposite. I find that just as confusing and contradictory as that sounds, I have like zero sense of how I come off. I try to be aware of all of these and do right to everyone to the best of my ability but if you’re sensitive about any of these point someone else might be a better fit 

2 kids max. I’m not sure I’ll have ANY at this point, and most certainly not in the next 5 years. IF we decide to have some later I volunteer to carry them though, I probably have good genes, my mom popped out 4 babies in 6 years with nary a complication. Besides I’d rather it was me dealing with the gross pregnancy stuff than someone I love

My favorite bedroom stuff is fingers-in-front-cavity and butt stuff. Mild sleepsex fetish but nothing super pronounced. What I don’t like or just am not very good at is top/bottom play. 

So far most my partners have had somewhat stronger sex drive than me but Id argue that I very much have one and ive never refused unless I was in physical pain, severely sleep-deprived or working on some important work-related thing that was due the next day. 

It’s important - and science backs me up on this - that you can freely talk to each other in n open, natural and relaxed manner

If you think im weird just do us both the favor and stay away don’t come at me with the attitude that you’re gonna mold me to your desires - even just writing this comes off kinda touchy but im saying this because some people out there really don’t get it. Like my natural tendency is to be open, courious and realistic,  but some people see that as free real estate and then it falls to me to be the reasonable one and End The Madness and im tired of that.

Like I want to be able to give love and pour out all my inner romantic shit without having to be afraid of being fucked over I want to be able to trust you with my inner harley quinn as well as my inner phantom of the opera 

UGH that sounded a bit tryhard didn’t it? But its the best description i could come up with

Must remember to translate this into mordor speak later

[sunyoonandstars]

In Between (BTS Series) || Chapter 7

So, dear readers. This is Chapter 7 of the (currently) ongoing series formerly known as “BTS Imagine 5: Namjoon cheating on you & you getting revenge”, based on a request by the lovely @im-cxnfused . I didn’t like the old title from the beginning, to be honest. And I don’t think it fits this series anymore, considering that it has by far outgrown the status of an ‘imagine’ by now. 😅

I hope you all managed to find this chapter despite the change of name!🙏🏻

Thank you for reading 💜 and sticking to this series so far! It’s much appreciated! Also, feedback is always welcome, in case you didn’t know. I hope it was worth the wait and chapter 7 doesn’t disappoint. 

Enjoy!

******************************************************

Chapter Index - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.1, 9.2

Synopsis

You and Namjoon are in a committed relationship. Or so you had thought. When you catch him cheating, however, you decide to take revenge in a way equally brutal. But soon the events take an unforeseen turn, leaving you torn …

Pairing: You x Namjoon, You x … Jimin … ??

angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, occasional hints of smut

******************************************************

[…]

„Are we done here, Namjoon?“ „Just one more question“, he says, lowering his voice to a soft whisper, the sound of it making you uncomfortable, as he takes another step towards you. „Do you still love me, y/n?“ „Are you deaf, or what? Didn’t I make myself clear earlier? Yes, I —“ Before you can finish your argument you’re silenced by Namjoons lips on yours, kissing you urgently. For a second your weak body is ready to give in to the temptation, but your mind doesn’t stand for it, mental images of Jimin being unreeled before your inner eye like a film, memories of shared laughter and intimacy, echoing with whispered words of love and trust. Wide-eyed you push Namjoon off of you. „What the —“ A noise by the door lets you jolt around, the sight of Jimin’s pale face and the excruciating pain showing in his round eyes leading you to choke on your last words. „Jimin —“, you commence, but he has already turned on his heal, his hunched figure quickly disappearing into the dark corridor. „Shit!“, you call out, ramming your fist into the wall with such force the instant pain shooting up your arm makes you shudder. „Y/n —“ „No, Namjoon! Just — NO! What the hell were you thinking!? What was that!? Have you lost your mind? Did you see his face?“ With your uninjured hand, shaking, pressed to your mouth, stifling a gasp of pure exasperation, you turn to run after Jimin, hoping, pleading to whatever God may receive your prayers, that it’s not too late. That you will not have ruined everything. That you will not have lost them both for good this time.

Chapter 7 ||  In Between 

„What is it? What happened? I heard a door bang.“ You rush past a flustered Jungkook without even sparing him a glance. „Yah! Y/n!?“ „Not now, Kookie!“, you call back at him, headed straight for Jimin’s room. When you arrive at its door you find it locked. „Hey, Jimin! Please, open up! Come on! Let me explain!“, you beg, your injured right hand pressed to your chest while the other one keeps hammering against the massive wooden door, so vigorously and tirelessly your knuckles soon start to hurt. „Please, Jimin! What happened just now — It was a misunderstanding! I swear! Please, let me explain! I only need a minute! I beg of you! Just let me explain! Give me another chance!“ Shrill, heavy with tears, your voice echoes from the walls of the empty corridor, your desperate pleas going unanswered. Nothing, not a single sound reaches you from the other side of the door, the quiet smothering, sickening. Minutes of unavailing knocking and begging pass before you finally forfeit to Jimin’s unyielding silence, sinking to the ground in exhaustion. With your back against the cool wood, you remain seated in front of the door, involuntarily wincing as you flex your bleeding knuckles, examining the damage done. Great. Now both your hands are incapacitated. Still, you don’t commiserate your sore knuckles. Because your unremitting knocking must have gotten Jimin’s attention, and hopefully your persistence will earn you at least another shot at making things right. However, another quarter-hour elapses without the door to his room moving even an inch. You are almost ready to abandon your post when it finally opens. Quickly, you move aside, your heart pounding, only to discover that it’s not Jimin peaking outside through the crack, barely wide enough to fit a head. Hoseok’s head. His expression is unusually serious, the afflicted look in his eye even scaring you. „What? What is it, Hoseok? What did he say?“ „He can’t see you right now, y/n. I’m sorry.“ „You mean he doesn’t want to see me“, you huff. Hoseok remains silent, his mouth set in a hard line, lips pressed together, his eyes, however, speaking volumes. „Please, Hobi, let me in. Let me talk to him! Nothing happened between me and Namjoon! I can explain! I can explain everything! Please!“, you beg, actually on your knees, wringing your hands, disgusted by your own pitifulness. But if it would mean to get Jimin to at least listen to you, you’d gladly stab your own pride right in the heart and bury it with your own bare hands. Neither your tears nor your devotion or guilt seem to impress Hoseok in the least, though, the slender dancer staying put, unmoving, in the doorframe, wordlessly shaking his head. „Please, Hoseok“, you plead one last time, your voice no more than a low whisper now. „I have to explain. I can’t hurt him. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Please.“ You can tell by the look on his face that Hoseok desperately wants to give in to your begging, but in the end, his loyalty clearly lies with his best friend. „I’m sorry, y/n, but I’m gonna have to tell you to leave. Jimin is in no condition to talk to you right now. And, quite frankly, I doubt that he’s even willing to. I can only pass on to you what he said to me: This, this thing between the two of you, was a mistake. You should’ve stayed friends. Or, even better, should’ve ended your friendship three years ago. He should’ve known this was bound to happen. And he is not willing to be your meaningless rebound anymore.“ Gasping, you slide backward, away from the door, away from Jimin, the air escaping his room suddenly seeming poisonous to your lungs. „So … what you’re saying is he’s basically breaking up with me? Through you?“, you barely manage to get the words out, tears filling your eyes anew. Hoseok does his best to appear indifferent as he shrugs his shoulders. „Those were merely the words he used. I guess what you make of them is up to you.“ „I see“, you mutter under your shallow breath, nodding to yourself. It’s like Hoseok’s words flipped a switch inside of you. All of a sudden there are no tears to be cried anymore. There’s no pain left in your aching chest. No helplessness. No desperation. Just numbness, readily giving way to a searing, screaming anger filling up your entire being. Without even so much as looking at Hoseok again, you get up and turn around to leave, your body moving by itself, your paining hands clenched to fists and your feet quickly carrying you towards the front door. You can hear faint voices calling out to you, can feel hands grabbing the fabric of your sleeves, pulling you back, but you simply ignore them, the rage stirring dangerously close to the surface by now, threatening to burn through your skin any second, making it almost too easy to block them out. Without turning back you storm out of the house and simply keep on walking, lost in a powerless, trance-like state, unaware of where your legs are taking you. All you know, or believe to know, is that you’re leaving all the pain and confusion further and further behind with each and every angry step you take, and that’s all that matters right now. At least half an hour must have passed when you finally come to a halt. Confused, you stop and turn in place, incredulously taking in your surroundings. You’re on that bridge again. The very same bridge you ran to all those years ago when you learned of your father’s death. The same bridge you magically arrived at on the day you thought you’d lost your scholarship, or the night you were fired from your part-time job, sudden unemployment leaving you without money for rent or food in the heartless metropolis of Seoul. The same freaking bridge you came to three years ago, on a day very similar to this one, believing to have ultimately pushed away your closest and dearest friend. The same bridge you came to all those times life had seemed too hard to carry on. A fact you can’t simply dismiss. Being pulled here once again today must mean something.   Maybe it’s time, you think to yourself. Time to settle this matter for good.

„Hyung, come on now. We really have to go, otherwise, we’ll be late for practice. We can’t let personal affairs like this get in the way of our comeback, Jimin. We promised. And we’re professionals, after all. Or at least I thought so.“ Losing patience, Jungkook starts tugging at the older singers sweater, throwing back his head theatrically. „Jimin-ah, will you finally get your pretty butt in gear!?“, he whines, relentlessly pulling Jimin’s arm now in an effort to drag him to the door, almost stumbling to the ground when the older one unexpectedly gives in. „Okay, okay. Stop with the wailing already. You’re right, okay? We are professionals. It just slipped my mind for a second there. I’m back now. I’m good.“ „You are?“, Taehyung asks, patiently waiting by the door to Jimin’s room, obviously not entirely convinced. „Because you don’t look so good, Jimin-ah. Your face is kind of grey, actually. Are you gonna be sick? Are you gonna puke?“ „No, Taehyung. I’m not gonna puke.“ Jimin strides past him with a shake of his head, faking a smile in a halfhearted attempt to mask his annoyance. As if it wasn’t obvious that he’d rather be left alone right now. „What a shame. That would’ve been quite a show“, Yoongi smirks, the commotion in front of Jimin’s room having attracted even Motionless Min. Hoseok and Jin dart him warning glances that he simply shrugs off. „Come on, Jimin, don’t take it so hard“, Yoongi goes on, having trouble to keep up with Jimin’s fast pace. „You shouldn’t jump to conclusions. I’m sure y/n can explain everything if you just let her.“ „Would you shut it!?“, Hoseok gruffly snaps at him. „What? Is she taboo now? Aren’t we allowed to call her by name anymore? Should I paraphrase then?“, Yoongi retorts, stopping cold in his step to block Jimin’s way and, in doing so, force him to face him. „Well, in that case, Jimin, I’m pretty sure you-know-who is feeling just as shitty as you are right now.“ Jimin avoids any eye contact, contritely gnawing at his lush lower lip. „I don’t care how she feels.“ „And that, my friend, is a big fat lie“, Yoongi calls out. „It’s enough, hyung“, Jungkook trounces him. „Let me through“, Jimin simply mutters, eyes still fixed on the floor. Although reluctantly, Yoongi steps aside, letting Jimin and the others pass and continue their way towards the front door where Namjoon is waiting patiently, his face a pale, stony mask bare of any expression. „Where is she anyway?“, Taehyung suddenly wonders when they’re already about to step out. „Did she retreat to the kitchen? Or your room?“, he points his chin at Yoongi who shakes his head, as does Jin. „Not to my knowledge“, the eldest replies. „I thought she went out. Didn’t we see her leave the flat?“ „Yeah, we did. But I thought she probably came back, that’s all“, Taehyung shrugs. „Why? Why would you think that?“, Namjoon asks, alarmed, Taehyung’s vague words drawing his attention. „Just because she left her coat. And her scarf. And her keys. And her phone. And her shoes“, he casually lists her belongings, pointing towards the coat rack and side table next to the door where they’re still neatly placed. Instantly, Namjoons mouth falls open, a soundless gasp leaving his lips. „Her shoes“, Jimin shakily breathes, eyes wide, any remaining color rapidly draining from his face as pure horror descends upon him. For a few seemingly endless seconds he remains frozen, until his head jolts up, eyes alight with sudden determination. „I have to go.“ „But — practice“, Jungkook calls after Jimin who is already halfway downstairs. „Screw practice“, Namjoon mumbles, frantically searching the hall stand for his parka. „Who knows where y/n is right now. She must be freezing, maybe even lost. I can deal with the repercussions of skipping practice for once. But I could never forgive myself if anything happened to her.“ „Alright, alright. We understand. We totally agree. Right, guys?“, Hoseok asks the boys who mumble in agreement. „Don’t worry, hyung, we have your back. Just make sure y/n’s safe.“ „I will.“ „Any idea where she’d have gone?“, Yoongi wonders aloud. Namjoon nods, his expression fierce. „I think I know exactly where to look for her. I just hope I’m not too late.“

Eyes squeezed shut, you stand by the bridge’s railing, drawing yet another painfully deep breath, your body being shaken by the cold, icy gusts of wind tugging at your clothes and hair and piercing your skin like a million tiny needles. You can feel the frosty air blow through you, through every fiber of your being, cleaning you of any anger and resentful thoughts you might have still carried within you when you arrived at this fateful spot. All you can feel by now is the cold. It’s liberating. Not to feel yourself anymore. Just the cold. Infinite cold. Too late, by then already having arrived here, had you noticed that you’d been running around town dressed in nothing but your jeans, socks, and shirt. No shoes, no coat. People must’ve thought you’d escaped some kind of mental hospital. But in the end, it doesn’t matter what people think. You can’t change their perception of you anyway. You learned that the hard way. Only today you learned that even the people you believe know and understand you won’t deviate from their picture of who and what you are. Jimin didn’t even hear you out. And even if he had, he wouldn’t have believed you. Neither of them did, neither of them would. Neither of them understands. And now you lost both of them. Jimin and Namjoon. No. Even worse. You’d cost them each other’s trust and brotherly affection. You’d spoiled their friendship. God knows, maybe you even ended BTS, a thought so horrendous you don’t even dare to ponder the consequences in case it would actually become a reality. And again, your head starts spinning. With another dizzy spell threatening to get the better of you, you cling to the banister more tightly, your injured hands painfully objecting. No, y/n! Cut it out! They’re done with you, so you’re done with them. No more drama. No more breaking hearts. No more confusing feelings. You didn’t deserve any one of them. The two of them are far better off without you and probably glad you’re gone. Jimin was right. You should have neither become his woman nor his friend in the first place. You surely couldn’t have been meant for each other with everything turning out so horribly. That’s not how destiny is supposed to work. Or at least it shouldn’t be. And you don’t believe in destiny anyway. Life isn’t ruled by fate and premonitions. Its course is determined by decisions. Decisions you have to make. However, this one you can’t make. This decision you can only escape. Flight is really the only bearable option. „Yah! Y/n!“ „Y/n! What are you doing! Get away from that railing!“ „Y/n! Step back! Y/n!“ You hardly believe your own ears. What the … A jolt of surprise going through your entire body brutally brings you to your senses. Reluctantly, your lids flutter open, the cold wind immediately bringing tears to your eyes. Or is it really the wind? „Y/n!“ Your heart pounding, sending adrenaline rushing through your veins, you turn to your left, only to be faced with a desperate Jimin, running towards you as if he was running for his life, eyes wide, hair flying and exposing his smooth forehead, his face as white as his anorak. „Y/n! Step back! Don’t do anything stupid!“ Bewildered, you now turn to your right where Namjoon has come to a stand at a safe thirty feet distance, panting heavily. „Do what!?“, you call back at him, finally having retrieved your voice after the first shock has worn off. „Don’t be so full of yourselves! I didn’t even for one second contemplate jumping off this damn bridge because of you two!“ Constantly, you turn from your left to your right and back, torn, overwhelmed by this unforeseen development. You didn’t think they’d even notice that you were gone, being busy with practice and all. And now they are here. Both of them. At the same time. But who of them should you face first? Who should you look in the eye, talk to? And, most importantly, who of them should you choose this time around, if it is even still your choice to make? You don’t know. You feel like you don’t know anything anymore. Except that it’s all too much. And currently, both of them are closing in on you, Jimin from the left, Namjoon from the right, slowly, cautiously coming closer. No. No. It’s too much. Too much. You can’t have them both near you right now. Not yet. „Stop!“, you shout, putting out your bruised hands, each to one side. Instantly both men freeze in place. „I didn’t think of jumping before, but if one of you moves even only so much as an inch closer, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna jump, alright!? So stay where you are!“ „Alright, alright!“, Namjoon mutters, putting up his hands in a gesture of resignation, his gaze intently fixed on you and his body tense, as if he’d be ready to lunge at you at any given moment.   „Don’t even say such a thing, y/n“, Jimin says, his voice so low it’s almost inaudible over the gusty wind. He seems to be frozen in place, simply staring at you, his face showing no emotion, his eyes, however, desperately pleading with you not to do it, not to jump, not to leave him. „Now what?“, Namjoon asks after a good five minutes have passed. „Now you leave. Both of you. Just go and leave me the fuck alone. I can’t handle this right now.“ „No“, both of them reply in unison. Groaning, you throw back your head, eyes closed. „Please. Just leave. Leave me be. Get on with your lives. Before I ruin them completely.“ „No!“, they call out once again, with even more determination this time. Albeit grudgingly, you open your eyes to look at them, one after the other. First at Namjoon, his round face with its dominant chin, his clever eyes, and softly curved lips. Then at Jimin with his thick hair and smooth features, the enchanting black wells of his eyes, his plump lips. „Alright. What’s it gonna take for you to leave?“ „We won’t leave“, Namjoon replies unhesitatingly. „Not before you make a choice“, Jimin adds, giving you a stern look. „Him or me. You have to decide. Right here. Right now. No one’s going anywhere before you do.“

To be continued …

But who will you choose, dear readers? It’s up to you!

The following part will be interactive (if you want to call it that). Your decision will decide the outcome of the story. There will be TWO ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS. 

Will you go left or right? 

(UPDATE COMING SOON)

***********************************************************

⏮  PREVIOUS CHAPTER                                                 NEXT CHAPTER ⏭

***********************************************************

As always, thank you for reading! I hope you have a great day wherever you are! Take care! 💜 

If you like and haven’t already, feel free to check out my Masterlist for more BTS fiction.