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asweetprologue · 3 years

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Nili’s Benchmark Geraskier Fic Rec List

hey yall! I officially hit 750 followers (a few days ago, I blew past the benchmark without even realizing!), which is... insane. I truly can’t believe that so many people over the last year have enjoyed my presence in this fandom enough to continue to follow my work. you guys are so great and I love you all so much, so I decided to put together a gift for you!

this is a list of my favorite geraskier fics from the fandom, which I have been putting together over the last year or so. a few of these are big in the fandom, but a lot of them are smaller pieces that I feel deserve more attention! I have provided ao3 and tumblr links where I could find them, as well as ratings and summaries. Most of these are canon!verse because I’m not personally a big fan of modern au’s, but there will be a few of those scattered throughout as well. I’ve divided the fics into two sections: oneshots and multichapter. See the list below the cut!

Being in this fandom truly has gotten me through the pandemic in a big way and I have made so many good friends while here. thank you all for validating my weird obsession with these characters and enabling me in these trying times <3

Oneshots

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) | M | 7517 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions Of Violence | @xdandelionxbloomx

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Another fascinating addition to the mythology of the Witcher. Jaskier’s slow rediscovery of himself is so well done here. One I’ve come back to again and again.

As Fast As Love Can Go | T | 9628 | @bygodstillam

There are Faeries in the Wood.

That's what everyone said, at least, not that there was any solid proof. Jaskier had tried, more than once, to find some. Just a hint somewhere, of a real story, of real magic. But all anyone seemed to have was stories.

Jaskier was determined to find proof. He wasn't expecting to find a witcher in the process.

Fascinating fic with some really interesting worldbuilding, and a fresh new take on True Love’s Kiss. Also with some great art by @hehearse!

beautiful, he stirs up still things | T | 2575 | @alittlebitmaybe

“You’re not asking me to dance,” says Geralt.

Jaskier turns his palm up on his knee, offering it. “I think you’ll find I am.”

Just them dancing. This is a lovely sort of pre-relationship dynamic. So soft.

Dialogue Prompt | NR | 2932 | @reinvent-and-believe

Dialogue Prompt 48: “You make me want things I can’t have.” Wordless I-love-you 50: buying them a special treat when you go out shopping

Geralt gets Jaskier a gift, which prompts some confessions.

Even a small love | E | 22,272 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

This is one I read early on in the fandom, and it really stuck with me. The dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt is perfect, and the misunderstandings between them feel so realistic. The non-con is not extreme, but do mind the warnings.

For the Space of a Heartbeat | T | 2021 | @drowningbydegrees

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Just sweet, morning after discussions. I love to see them talking for once.

Greensleeves | T | 10,414 | @rebrandedbard

When Geralt crosses paths with Jaskier in the spring, the world is dressed in green. Quite literally. Everyone everywhere is wearing green, and it all comes down to a song Jaskier has written that, to his mortification, has become popular throughout the Continent. It's torment, being forced to preform the song over and over again and have his heart broken anew. But who is this Lady Greensleeves the people say Jaskier is so maddeningly, heartbrokenly in love with? At the baron's wedding party, Geralt is determined to find out.

This is one of my personal faves - there’s just something about Jaskier’s feelings being put on blast while Geralt remains totally oblivious that I think is so very them. And the resolution at the end is delightful.

I Don’t Wanna Fall (If It’s Not In Love) | E | 13,902 | @writinglizards

The first time it's out of desperation. Things get rapidly out of hand from there.

OR the building of a relationship through mutual wank sessions.

I love everything Ashley writes, but this one was the first fic I read by her and it still has a warm place in my heart. I also highly recommend It’s Been A While (makes me cry every time) and Tell Me Honestly

Like a Storm, Like a Flood | T | 1065 | @valdomarx

Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

It was soooo hard to pick only one fic by George, but this one is so soft and sweet and yearning I just had to go with it. This is really just about Geralt finally hitting a breaking point and saying enough is enough.

one flesh | E | 10,763 | WARNING: MCD

“Well, then. I’m a ghost.” Jaskier spread his arms grandly. Geralt held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his head and laughed. Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “Do fill me in on what’s so funny.” It wasn’t funny. It was just so - ridiculous, the things Geralt’s fucked up brain would invent. This had to be the last nail in the sanity coffin, it just had to be.

Or: Jaskier is a ghost, and Geralt is a mess.

Jaskier dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt Geralt into taking care of himself. Geralt does not handle this gracefully. This fic is so sad and heartbreaking, but the ending is so sweet.

to render it transparent | E | 23,901

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

Sigh. This fic. This is a time travel fic - Geralt ends up in the future living with Jaskier on the coast, just after the mountain. It’s slow and beautiful and extremely bittersweet, all about how we choose to love people despite how much it can hurt us.

With All the Continent A Stage | M | 4745 | @greyduckgreygoose

Later, Geralt learned that the play was four hours long. Four hours long. It didn’t feel like it. Most of it passed by in a fever dream of ominous music, dance-fighting and dryads in gossamer leaves, swinging from hoops attached to the ceiling. Yennefer made an appearance, played by Priscilla in a glittering negligee. She sang a song to Geralt about putting him “Under Her Spell”, and they had a sensual dance number which was made a little strange by a sickened Jaskier (played by Jaskier) coughing loudly in the background.

(Jaskier invites Geralt to a musical production inspired by his own life.)

Jaskier basically writes Geralt a love letter in the form of a four hour long play. Geralt is an idiot about it.

Multi-Chapter Fics

A Lover’s Lament | M | 25,364 | @somedrunkpirate

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier’d never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve read this fic. The monster is so interesting, and the mythos of it fits seamlessly into the world of the Witcher in my mind. Jaskier being so afraid that his feelings are going to put Geralt at risk, clearly unable to see that Geralt is going through the exact same thing. I think about the scene with them looking at each other almost daily.

A Pair of Gloves, the Scent of Roses | M | 24,134 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence

In the bustling days before the Midsummer festival, Geralt is sent into the countryside to deal with a monster - with Jaskier once again by his side. But the bard has not forgiven him, and while he's not hiding his contempt for the Witcher, he is recalcitrant about revealing his true motives for joining him. As the hunt turns into a desperate mission to save an innocent man and the monster is not what is seems to be, Geralt learns a few new things about his old friend and decides to finally attempt to mend the rift between them...

This is one of my favorite’s in the fandom - it feels so believable, the world is so rich and the oc’s are convincing and charming. Geralt and Jaskier feel so honest here, stumbling around each other but still drawn together. Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Bearing the will of the flower | NR | 11,449

The way Jaskier sees it, his hobby of following a witcher around was always pretty likely to get him killed.

The fact that it's happening now because the witcher in question doesn't love him, he thinks as he coughs up crumpled flowers, hardly makes a difference.

My favorite hanahaki fic in the fandom. I’m such a sucker for these, and these two idiots being so incapable of talking about their feelings really makes them prime candidates.

Food of Love | T | 22,488 | @wallatile-qvibbler

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

This is a Jaskier and Renfri centric fic, which wasn’t something I knew I wanted until I read this. Jaskier is a bard which in this AU comes with magical powers, but it feels so well integrated into the universe that I wish it was just... how the Witcher is. Renfri is so good here, and even though Jaskier and Geralt barely even interact you can feel the tension and love between them. Cannot recommend highly enough.

friends and allies of the witcher | T | 10,312 | @theamazingbard

Yennefer crawls over to her newest cellmate. They’re curled up on their side. Breathing, but only just. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for when she turns them over. Still isn’t when she sees that it is indeed Jaskier.

“Shit."

Yennefer and Jaskier each suffer in more ways than one at the hands of Nilfgaard.

Yennefer and Jaskier get capture by Nilfgaard and tossed into a cell together. Exactly what I want out of season 2 honestly. Their interactions are gold.

I’d Be the Choiceless Hope | E | 45,188 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con | @lesdemonium

As a baby, Jaskier was visited by a fae, who gifted Jaskier's mother with Jaskier's obedience. As Jaskier grew older, the "gift" became more of a curse.

You know I’m not gonna make a rec list without listing Zoe’s Ella Enchanted au. Need I say more?

Silver and Copper | M | 56,139 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence | @kaer-cuan

Geralt is just supposed to pass through the quiet Lettenhove area. He's not anticipating being begged by its people to help save their viscount from a curse that keeps him from daylight. Lord Jaskier, they call him, and he's likely dying.

As Geralt struggles to untangle the ugly web of history that has lead to the increasingly complicated curse, he finds himself spending more and more time with the strange young viscount and wondering just what he might have been before the curse, and who he might be after. But things are not always as they seem, and as the curse tightens its grip on Jaskier, Geralt is forced to face the fear of failing yet another person whose choices were stolen from them.

Or-

Jaskier is kept from becoming a bard. Geralt finds him anyway.

This is a fic that haunts me. It’s very scary in parts, and mind the tags - there are some very heavy themes here. But it’s beautiful and touching, and Jaskier feels very true to himself even though his origin is so different.

we could be married (and then we'd be happy) | E | 50,222 | @a-kind-of-merry-war

Jaskier reached into his pocket, fingers grasping around the little box. He pulled it out with what he hoped was a romantic flourish, flipping it open to reveal the simple gold band inside. “Geralt,” he said, confidently, cooly, like this wasn’t terrifying, “Will you marry me?”

Geralt and Jaskier fake marriage proposals to get free deserts and shit but it goes tits up when Vesemir catches them in the act. Not knowing how to fess up, they go along with it for a while, which is hell because they’re both pining like mad. As I said, I don’t love modern au’s, but it’s merry so of course this one had to end up on my list.

And that’s it! 20 fics for you, and hopefully you can all find one or two you haven’t read before. There are a lot of people and fics that I didn’t include in this list only because I was trying to not put a million down (which I could). I highly recommend anything by @wherethewordsare, @julek, @contemplativepancakes, @witcher-and-his-bard, and @inber, as well as those linked to fics above, and I’m sure there are others I forgot to mention. Yall have truly made being in this fandom worthwhile <3

#geraskier #geraskier fic recs #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #witcher #fic recs #fic rec #I'm certain i missed a lot of good ones I've read over the years but I didn't want to risk making this super fucking long anyways #if you didn't see your name listed it isn't bc I don't adore you and your fics it's because i'm stupid <333

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codyjey · 3 years

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SAPNAP LORE STREAM SPOILERS, SRSLY DON'T KEEP READING IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED

small CW for suicide

alright let's talk about this.

we start off with sapnap and george in the community house which in and of itself I find interesting. like do they just hang out there?

anyways, sapnap says he hasn't seen quackity in forever. that he wants to know where he's at. saying last time he saw him was in like, el rapids. george says practically nothing (a theme you'll find the whole way through this stream) which is strange considering he HAS seen quackity recently . and he knows where he is (maybe not directly) . but perhaps he thinks that was a dream and doesn't want to misinform sapnap? who knows.

they go to el rapids looking for quackity, and find mexican dream crying instead and a destroyed el rapids. sapnap assumes it was destroyed by dream, (because why would he think that? he has every right to believe it was him) and he tells that to mexican dream. they go visit the prison bc mexican dream is freaked out and wants dream dead, and a bunch of just stupid shit happens. also, during this bit I'd like to mention sapnap reiterates that he wants dream to stay in the prison, that he deserves to be in there. idk why I'm saying that I just think it's important to note for his character.

but then mexican dream remembers that QUACKITY destroyed el rapids. he relays that to them, and sapnap doesn't believe it. (once again, why would he?) george is dead silent the whole time. I have a feeling he can't tell if he's dreaming or not, hence why he was either silent, messing around, or not really caring.

back to sapnap tho, we go through this whole dumbass bit with mexican dream turning american and stuff and the whole time sapnap is just BEGGING him to take him to quackity. literally so desperate to find him, and neither mexican dream nor george cooperating. that is until mexican dream is towering up, about to take his own life, when he sees las nevadas in the distance.

the three of them walk to las nevadas and sapnap seems frantic and wants to make sure quackity is there, very very clearly wanting nothing more than to talk to him. but, mexican dream starts freaking out, being scared of quackity and las nevadas and sapnap sighs, taking him to kinoko.

sapnap tells him he will be safe in kinoko, and that he isn't going to let shit happen to that place. it's his home. he mentions how the community house was destroyed, and mexican dream asked who did it, wondering if it was quackity and saying he would kill him. sapnap says no, he was pretty sure it was dream who destroyed the community house, and promptly tries to move on. I won't ignore the little ".. what?" from george after he said that though. it just hit me in that moment that george doesn't know dream was the one to destroy the community house... can't imagine how he's handling that info. (espically considering he continued to be silent after that)

sapnap shows mexican dream to a place he can stay and swears to protect him and the land, but to no avail. mexican dream jumps, dying and logging out of the game. sapnap seems shocked for a second, but then he immediately softens. like he's numb. like he's used to the feeling of those around him just leaving. even when he gives his all to try and help. the stream ends with sapnap asking george to catch him as he jumps, and that's it.

sapnap wants to find quackity. he wants to find him and he misses him. I noticed he was avoiding calling quackity his fiance, and maybe this is just me over thinking or maybe he thinks quackity doesn't think of him like that anymore since they haven't seen each other in so long. but regardless of all that, he wants to find quackity and the next lore stream will be their confrontation. that is going to be a sad fucking mess and I cannot in anyway predict how it will end up. let alone how karl will play into all of this...

In conclusion, people who say sapnap doesn't care about quackity I'm gonna need you to shut the fuck up and use this stream as even further evidence that ur wrong. and at the end of the day, c! sapnap is still one of the most tragic characters and I cannot fucking wait for more.

#/rp #dream smp #sapnap #quackity #georgenotfound #karl jacobs #dreamwastaken #karlnapity #mexican dream #kinoko kingdom #las nevadas #el rapids #lore #lore analysis #lore talk #thoughts

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ray-ray-writings · 4 years

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UMM THIS

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe24dvmM/

Im sorry I know you are packed and busy but can I make a request based on that video?? BECAUSE HOT DAM JUST WILBUR ENTERING LIKE

‘WHAT IS THIS I HEARD ABOUT HURTING Y/N AND TOMMY ‘

LOOK AT THAT VIDEO LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME YOU ARENT SIMPING TO THAT MAN

I simply cannot tell you that because it would be untrue because I am SIMPING so hard…. Also this was way longer and had a lot more plot than I originally planned so…. There’s that lol. Hope you enjoy. (P.S. Because it’s so long, this is going to be the only post tonight, my brain is a bit fried rn lol. Have a great night everyone!)

Warnings: Mentions of very quickly losing a lot of weight, it’s brief but it’s there. As well as, manipulation from Dream. At one point the reader is like “wow it’s been three days since you hit me… Thanks Dream!” And a few swear words here and there.

Before Wilbur died, you and Wilbur were married. It absolutely broke your heart to watch the love of your life lose his mind (and then his life) for the nation that you and he created to raise and protect your boys in. But you stood by his side until the very end. You held his hand as he died and clutched his body with Phil once it was over. Ghostbur gave you somewhat of a shock. Because you’re husband was back, and he remembered you. He was the man you had married. The person he was before the presidency, before the war, before L’Manberg… You’re Wilbur was back. But you were still sad. You couldn’t hug him or kiss him like you were able to and although he seemed to be right in front of you, it felt like he couldn’t be farther away. Ghostbur can see this and decides that if he can, he really wants to try to come back to life. He tells his father and older brother about this and so they begin planning and researching. In doing this, they kind of accidentally turn a blind eye to what is happening to you and Tommy.

While those three are figuring out how to bring Wilbur back from the dead, you and Tommy are being harassed by Dream. Something else you lost when you lost Wilbur was protection from Dream. For some reason, Dream was always afraid of Wilbur. Perhaps it was his ability to always stand up for what he wanted and fight for the things he loves… Or perhaps it was because he was Techno’s brother. Doesn’t matter. Point is when you lost Wilbur you lost the protection from Dream. Dream threatens you and Tommy, trying to provoke Tommy and trick him into doing stuff so that Dream could get him in trouble and one day it finally works. Dream tells Tommy where George’s vacation house is because he knows that Tommy cannot resist checking a place out and looking through other people’s stuff. So Tommy drags Ranboo over there and while they’re there they accidentally knock over a lantern and burn some of the house and some of the chests. On the other side of the server, Dream is in your home, poking fun at you for losing your husband and telling you that it was partially your fault and just stuff like that. You didn’t react. You never could when talking to Dream. But his words stung and slashed deep, and he knew it. Finally after a while of this, Tommy comes bursting through your front door, out of breath and seemingly panicked. “What’s the matter?” You ask softly, leaving your kitchen and going to comfort your boy. Tommy is about to spill everything but when he looks up he sees Dream and immediately swallows his words. “We were playing tag… That’s all… Tag” he says. You absolutely do not believe him but you catch his gaze and know that whatever he’s done he cannot say it in front of Dream. So you decide you’ll just have to wait…. You don’t have to wait long.

“You burnt down George’s vacation home?” Dream’s deadly tone sounds from the kitchen. Your eyes widen and scan Tommy’s face and the look that overtakes him, you know it’s true. “I did not burn it down… I knocked over a lantern and a small fire broke out… I tried to repair everything, it’s fine.” Tommy insists. But Dream seems too pissed to listen to reason. “Come with me” he hisses, marching forward and snatching Tommy’s wrist tightly and marching out of the house. A small whimper left Tommy’s lips as he was pulled causing you to fly into a rage. “Let go of him!” you demand, chasing after them. Dream doesn’t listen and so you reach out and shove his shoulder causing him to stumble, let go of Tommy’s wrist and whip around to face you too. A chilling smile rests on his face, “Oh you just messed up big time.” Before you can react, he reaches out, grabs your wrist, grabs Tommy’s again and continues on down the Prime Path. You’d try to fight it but the grip on your wrist was just too strong. Dream pulls you to Tubbo and immediately jumps on the boy. He explains what happened as well as says that you assaulted him and that he wants you two exiled from L’Manberg or there will be hell to pay. Dream tells Tubbo he will start a war and will kill everyone and everything if his orders are not followed. You can tell Tubbo really doesn’t want to, but it’s something he has to do. Tubbo lets out a small sigh and nod, “Okay Dream. You win.” He murmurs, not looking at Tommy’s betrayed face. “Excellent choice, Mr. President,” the man spits out. “Tubbo” Tommy utters broken heartedly, staring at his best friend, silently begging him to say sike… It never comes. “Dream please escort Tommy and Y/N out of my country.” “With pleasure” You wrist is seized again and you’re being dragged away from your home.

After you three get out of the SMP, Dream lets go of your wrists and lets you walk for yourself. You approach Tommy and wrap a comforting arm around him. “It’s going to be okay Tommy. Everything is going to be okay.” You comfort the young boy who sighs and nods, “I just can’t believe that he would throw me under the bus like that,” Tommy murmurs. “I know kiddo. I know.” You follow Dream for a very long time until he is satisfied that you are far enough away from the rest of the SMP. “Okay, we stop here… Put your stuff in this hole,” Dream commands, digging a small hole for the two of you to throw your stuff in. You let out a scoff and roll your eyes, “No way. You’ve already forced us into exile. There’s no way we’re giving you our stuff.” Dream’s face flushed a bright red before he lurched forward and grabbed you. Putting in a headlock to where you’re back was pressed against his chest, his arm around your throat while he has a crossbow to your head. “I’ve had enough of you fucking attitude Y/N. You have no power here. I do. I’m in charge and when I say to do something, you do it. If I ask you to jump, the only thing you may ask after that is “How high?” Do you understand?” You don’t speak, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of obedience. But then the tip of the arrow digs into the side of your head causing you to let out a small pained whimper, “I said, do you understand?” he demands again. “Yes” you finally whimper out. He moves the crossbow away from your skull and lets you go and shoves you forward, stumbling into Tommy who catches you and stabilizes you. “Put your stuff in the hole… Now” he growls, not in the mood for any more ‘games’. You and Tommy share a look and then a sigh and slowly put your things in the hole like he demanded. And you could only watch as he placed TNT above it and blew up everything. All of your items that you had worked hard for… Gone in a moment. Dream leaves with a cackle. You and Tommy are just there. Shocked. Finally, after a few moments, you’re able to shake yourself out of it. “Okay… Let’s get started, there’s no time to waste.” Tommy just looks at you and then he sighs and nods. “Let’s do it then.” The two of you spend the rest of the day gathering materials and building yourself a little shelter. You were all alone… At least you were all alone with your brother.

As we all know, Dream comes back almost every day. He comes back, blows up your stuff and leaves. The first time he came back you tried to stop him… It didn’t go well. “Dream, please he just-“ He cut off your words with a harsh slap across the face. It sends you flying and leaves your head spinning. “Haven’t you learned yet? Stuff. Hole. Now.” And you have no choice but to obey. You watch with a broken heart as Tommy slowly begins to actually trust Dream and believe him when he says that no one misses him. You do your best to be there for him and convince him that it’s not true but as days go by and no one, not even your Ghostbur, you can’t help but slowly believe that they’ve forgotten about you two. As time goes on, it seems that you and Tommy fade. You lose a lot of weight. Your food source is scarce and you have to do a lot of work because you’re restarting every. single. day. You get hurt a lot easier and it takes a lot more time to recover. Every once in a while, Dream will physically hurt you. Whether it a slap or a small sword slash, he does it just to make sure you still remember who’s in charge. You just learn to take it and deal with it. It hurts, but at least it’s you and not Tommy. Ranboo visits you once and is horrified at what he sees. He’s worried about you, but knows he can do basically nothing to help you. He makes a mental note to tell someone about it back in the SMP…. And even though he has memory problems, this is one thing he cannot forget.

On the other side of the SMP, Philza, Techno, and Ghostbur have done it. They’ve cracked it. They have figured out how to bring Ghostbur back to life and to bring back Wilbur. The three make the plan and tell no one, especially not you. (Yeah…. They don’t even realize that you and Tommy aren’t around rn lol) They want to make sure this works before they tell anyone. So they do all the prep and the work and then they perform the ritual. They perform it in a cave somewhere just a little bit away from Techno’s house so that absolutely no one would know where they are or what they were doing. They begin just as nightfalls. Carefully completely each step and making sure they’re doing everything just right, knowing if they fuck up one small thing it’s over and they won’t be able to get Wilbur back. The three complete the final step and wait…. Nothing happens. “Fuck!” Techno curses, his eyes falling to the book, “We did everything right! It should have worked!” “Techno calm down, we’re all upset but at least we-” Philza doesn’t get to finish. All of the sudden a bright light floods the room. The light? It’s coming from Ghostbur. “Uhh guys?” the ghost questions in fear as he is levitated off the ground. Philza and Techno cannot look at him for fear of going blind. Ghostbur is unsure of what is happening but then the shredding pain fills his body. A scream rips from his throat as his whole form begins to physicalize. The skin begins to become real as the bones, blood, organs, and all other internal body parts forms. All memories that Ghostbur had forgotten flood Wilbur’s mind as his whole life flashes before his eyes, reminding him of everything. It only lasts a few moments more before the light fades and Wilbur is dropped from the air. His body hits the ground with an extremely harsh thump. He feels the impact and lets out a groan. His whole body is sore… But he’s there. He’s real and most importantly he’s alive. “Wilbur?” Philza asks hesitantly. Wilbur lets out another groan. The two standing men share a look before rushing to his side. They kneel beside him and gently reach out. Don’t tell anyone but tears threaten to fall from both men’s eyes, Philza and Techno’s, as their hands actually are able to touch Wilbur and they don’t go through him as if he were a ghost. They gently help him from his side to laying on his back. At the movement, Wilbur opens his eyes and is met with the tear laced ones of two of his family members. “Hey guys” he manages to croak out, “how’s it going” “Wilbur” Philza breaks, a tear streaming down his cheek before he lurches forward and wraps the boy into a warm hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” the older man sobs to his son. “Shhhh,” Wilbur calms his father, “It’s okay Dadza. I wanted it. You did what you had to do. It’s okay.” To the two’s surprise’s Techno’s buff arms wrap around the two and join in the hug. “It’s uhhh… it’s good to see you Wilbur” Techno grumbles, not really liking the emotion that had built up in his chest. Wilbur let out a soft laugh, “Good to see you too Tech.”

The sweet moment is broken by someone calling Techno’s name a little ways away from the cave. At first, they elect to ignore it, but then the voice calls again, this time for Philza and they can tell now that whoever it is, is panicking. So the two help Wilbur up and gently help him out of the cave. They look out over the snow and find Ranboo there, standing on Techno’s front porch. “Ranboo!” Techno calls out causing the tall boy to turn around and then run at them. “Techno! Phil!.... Is that Wilbur? Like actual real Wilbur? He’s alive?” Ranboo asks, his tone still slightly panicked. “Yes Ranboo… It’s a long story but to sum it up we managed to bring Wilbur back to life… Now why are you here and why are you panicked.” Ranboo’s eyes shift back to Wilbur and gulps, “I knew you weren’t going to like this… But now you’re really not going to like this… Dream is hurting Y/N and Tommy…” All three, especially Wilbur, snap to attention at that. “What?” Wilbur asks harshly. Ranboo gulps and nods before diving into his story. He tells them about your exile and how Dream has been treating you two, blowing up your stuff and even physically harming Y/N. He tells them that Dream has the two convinced that nobody cares about them anymore. The three go stiff at that. Have they all been so focused they really missed all of this? Well time to go right some wrongs. It is almost as if all ache and tiredness left Wilbur’s body at the thought of his spouse being hurt, especially at the hands of Dream. He straightens up and takes a few steps toward Ranboo, “Take them to us” he speaks, his tone pretty damn dark. Ranboo nods and quickly turns around and leads the three men back to the exile spot.

Back in exile, you and Tommy built a house… Logsted! It wasn’t exactly your taste, but it made Tommy happy so you lived in it together. You had woken up, actually feeling kind of good. The bruises and nicks on your face had slowly begun to heal and Dream hadn’t hit you in the past three days. You had a nice dinner last night, you and Tommy had found some chickens and made a small chicken farm a little ways away from the house so that way Dream couldn’t easily find it, but point is you had chicken for dinner… that’s what I was getting at… I’ll move on. So long story short, you were feeling good. The sun had risen and so Tommy and you were just kind of waiting for Dream to show up so you could get the daily blowing up over with. And like clockwork, he shows up, but for some reason he’s angry. For the past couple days he’d actually be pleasant to be around, greeting you asking you how you’ve been. But today was different. He slammed the door open and begins digging a hole in the middle of Logstedshire… That’s really weird. He was going to blow up the stuff inside the house? No way. But he points to the hole and you know he wants you to dump your items in. You move to the hole but don’t throw your stuff in, “Inside the house? Can we please go outside, I don’t want to ruin our hard work” wrong thing to say. A growl escapes Dream’s lips as he reaches forward and slaps you hard across the face, harder than he’s ever slapped you. It is enough to make you dizzy, but you don’t even have time to recover because his hand is in your hair, yanking it back forcing you to look at him. “You stupid bitch. You would think that after all this time, you would have learned by now… I mean you were doing so so well. But it just seems that you never learn your lesson… Guess I’ll have to teach you yet again.” And he pulls out his sword and points it at your stomach, ready to slice you again. Just as he’s about to harm you, the door swings open again and someone stumbles in. They lean against the doorframe with their hand grabbing the top of the frame. You can hear Tommy let out a gasp and you watch Dream’s eyes widen in fear. “So Dream,” an all too familiar voice calls, “What’s this about hurting Y/N and Tommy now?” And then you’re let go by Dream. You crash to the ground, fall flat on your ass, but you manage to scramble to a stand as you stare at the door frame in complete... Shock? Amazement? Fear? You can’t tell. You’re husband, Wilbur, is standing there in the flesh. Literally in the flesh. He’s alive again and you cannot believe it. “Wilbur” Dream stutters out, “You’re alive? How-” “That doesn’t matter, Dream. What matters is the fact that you’ve been hurting Y/N and Tommy… We can’t have that. So now what is going to happen is I’m going to take my family back to L’Manberg and you are never going to hurt them again,” Wilbur announces, moving ever so slightly further into the room. Seeming to have recovered just a bit from shock, Dream actually retorts, “Or what?”. Two more people enter the house and it causes Dream to blanch even further. “I think you know what… now run along.” Not wanting to risk it, Dream takes off running.

Once you’re sure he’s gone, you allow yourself to speak. “Wilbur?” You whisper out, still not sure if this is real or if you’re dreaming. Wilbur’s attention shifts to you and he completely soften. “Hello,” he greets with a soft smile on his face, taking a few steps toward you, “Have you missed me?” Deciding you don’t care if he’s real or not, you rush forward and throw yourself into his arms. You, like Philza and Techno, almost cry at the feeling of your body’s connecting. He’s here. He’s real. And he’s alive. His arms wrap around you and hold you to him so tightly, you almost can’t breathe. But you don’t care. You’re hugging your husband. You’re actually hugging your husband. “I missed you so much, Wilby. I mean we had Ghostbur but it wasn’t the same. I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulders, the tears slowly falling out of your eyes. His hand comes up and slowly pets your head, in silent comfort and reassurance.

After a few minutes you pull away slightly, “How are you-” You’re cut off by his lips pressing against your and you cannot help but melt. It has been months since his passing and this was just the absolute best feeling in the world. You kiss back with so much passion it makes your head spin, this time in a good way. It’s also probably the only time ever his brother’s didn’t fake vomit at the sight of you kissing. You only pull back to catch a breath, but right as you breathe in, Wilbur’s lips are back on yours. The process repeats a few times, before you manage to breathe out a “Will,” causing him to pull back, but leaving his forehead resting on yours and his lips just hovering above yours. “Yes my love,” he mumbles to you. “Can we go home please” you ask, not wanting to be here at Logstedshire any longer. He gives you a warn grin, leaning the inch forward and kissing you once more before giving his answer. “Of course my love. Let’s get out of here.”

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt drabble #wilbur soot #wilbur soot imagine #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot drabble #philza #technoblade #tommyinnit #ranboo #dream #tubbo #ray responds #our beloved alex8o

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420pogpills · 3 years

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I enjoyed George's 1 year anniversary stream but seeing his bestfriend, dream show up late because he got an invite 20 minutes prior was just borderline petty lol, i think expecting an individual invite in advance from George was a reach because they spoke about the stream aniversary date like a week prior on Bad's stream and because they are bestfriends i think its an unspoken thing with george..he even says in general that anyone is invited to join his stream (he said this to bad once before) so you would expect his bestie to show up but ehh he came late, and when he did join he was still salty about it (killing george/not reminiscing over the memories/calling it cringe) which idk wanting a personal invite is one thing but joining the stream an hour late and making it about yourself by confusing your friend by saying you weren't invited at all (when he was) to make that point is..something else.

still, it was a good day and i think what really shined the most was George's other friendships lol with Karl and Quackity and Sapnap and Callahan it was all so wholesome and sometimes we hyperfixate on dream and expect all of these things for him because he highkey loves george the most out of everyone and is so consistent w/ it that when he doesn't want show up or show out he can let our expectations up, but it is okay it definitly seemed like a personal thing that affected him more than something to do with their relationship or miscommunication cuz i think george communicated fine but dream was perhaps feeling a little more on edge and wanted more recognition/attention (subconsciously)

i enjoyed it too, it was very chaotic! :’)

hmm it’s a tricky one honestly haha! i think dream and george are very different people in the sense george seems pretty indifferent, he doesn’t read into things, he goes with the flow, whereas dream is very sentimental, he doesn’t seem to feel comfortable just joining a voice call if he’s not directly and personally invited (remember during the stream where they hunted for tridents when he really let his jealousy shine through saying that george would be in vc with others and he couldn’t just join and that he’s not used to not having george’s attention on him 24/7?) sapnap said he’ll just ask and they let him in, and of course i think dream knows he’s always welcome, but even when you know that sometimes it’s still hard to just invite yourself :’) and he was always used to george just inviting him, or he would be more of the leader and george would tag along, etc etc. maybe he’s not used to being the one who needs to ask?

i also think he’s probably got a lot going on right now that’s making it hard for him to keep up, he’s probably not been talking to his friends as much lately because of everything. cause not only did he have to film and edit the latest manhunt, he has to work on ‘mask’ - which is already delayed, meaning they aren’t happy with it so they’re probably spending extra time getting it perfect. dream said it himself (i cannot for the life of me remember what stream or what interview it was but it was very recent) that he sometimes spends up to 9 hours in vc with his producer working on the song. that’s a massive chunk of the day. the rest of the time he’s spending probably sleeping or filming youtube videos. he’s also apparently working on something with mr beast? they keep tweeting random stuff like ‘they’re not ready for this’ or whatever haha

so yeah i do kind of agree that i think dream sometimes just wants a little more attention from george :’) he’s said it himself, he’s not used to sharing george’s attention. and so when he’s busy with his music or with other projects, george turns to his other friends to pass time and maybe dream feels left out during that time? which is ridiculous but who knows honestly, i’m just guessing since i have no idea what truly goes on in their brains, or what goes on behind closed doors :’) but i just know that they’re fine - and if they’re not fine now, they will be fine later. not that it’s any of our business but yeah they are silly boys who appear to be terrible at communication, but we love em anyway ❤️

#ask #anon #georgenotfound #dreamwastaken #dnf #dreamnotfound #discourse

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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

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Bloom // H.P.

Summary: Healing doesn't happen overnight. It’s a process that can take months, if not, years to come to terms with. It’s been five years since the Battle of Hogwarts and the end of the Second Wizarding War. Harry finally feels ready to confront feelings that have long been sat, growing unattended in the recesses of his mind and soul.

A/N: This was inspired by the made-up fic title that I did a few weeks ago. I got so stuck on this, I couldn't get any further, but inspiration somewhat struck and here we are. I know this is long, but I am so so proud of this, I would love some interaction with this. Take a chance, please.

Warnings: feelings of sadness, grief, worthlessness, more visits to graveyards, talks of death. This sounds dark, and parts are, but there is so much fluff and comfort and pining in this.

Word count: 9.4k

Harry’s Flat, London, England, October.

For the fourth night this week, sleep evades him. Deciding to surrender this particular battle, Harry sits up in bed and reaches for his glasses on the bedside table.

With clearer vision, he turns to the digital clock next to where he places his glasses. He hangs his head in his hands when he reads the time. not even two hours of sleep before he awoke; his mind unwilling to alleviate him long enough for him to fall into a dreamless sleep.

He supposes it could be a good thing, or at least, that’s what he tells himself as he throws the covers off his body and swings his legs out of bed. As he sits on the edge of his bed, Harry gives himself a moment.

He gives himself only a single moment to give into the tidal wave threatening to drown him. A single moment simply to feel everything before he packs it all away into corresponding drawers in his mind.

A heavy sigh leaves him as he plods into the living room and through to the kitchen. As he boils the kettle, he thinks of you and your ingrained belief that everything can be put to rights over a cup of tea.

Settling in the living room, he grabs the remotes for the television. Turning it on, he switches the volume to mute, not wanting loud noises, but rather the comfort of monotonous moving pictures. Harry cannot tell what the programme is; a muggle show dedicated to archaeology, he thinks, but he pays it little mind.

He runs a hand down his face; feeling the tiredness deep within his bones. The insomnia had started in the months after the end of the war; beginning with repetitive nightmares in which he would suffer through the deaths of his friends countless times before being awoken by the sounds of his own screams. From there, it shifted into a fear of sleep, a terror of closing his eyes and seeing Hermione’s or Ron’s lifeless bodies. He knows – he knows they are alive and well, but the fear remains.

He wonders how long he’ll continue to feel like this should do nothing; how long he will deal with the sleepless nights and the nightmares that greet him when he does close his eyes.

However, as he watches the soundless pictures play on the television, he cannot help but feel an urge to get better. To do better and to be better in all that he does. At the age of eighteen, he defeated the darkest wizard to have ever walked the earth in the last century. At the age of twenty three, five years later, he feels close to laughter that he has let his life come to this.

But no-one warned him of the aftermath of the war. No-one readied him for the feelings of guilt that twists his stomach; leaving him unable to eat. No-one explained to him just how long the nightmares would last; seeing the faces of those that fell at the battle of Hogwarts and before as he tries and tries to dream of happy things.

Harry’s bottom lip begins to wobble. The tears won’t fall. It’s been years, Harry thinks, since he had cried in earnest.

As Harry sits on his couch for the fourth night that week, he readies himself to start putting his life back together again.

The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon, October.

The Burrow had always, to Harry at least, been a place full of happy memories. The home of the Weasley family physically exuded warmth and happiness. To put it bluntly, it was Harry’s safe haven; the place he could go where he would find no judgement for his state of sleeplessness or lack of appetite. He would catch Molly watching him worriedly, but she knew not to press, and for that, he was thankful. To appease her worries, or at least to lessen them slightly, he visits the Weasley matriarch once a week.

Immediately, Harry is wrapped up in hug after hug. Molly keeping her hands on Harry’s cheeks as she moves his head side to side, getting a good look at him. She clamps her lips together to keep the frown from forming on her face; worry rises in her gut, but she does not voice it.

The food cooking on the stove has Harry’s mouth watering as he walks through the kitchen to the large table in the dining area. There, he finds your eyes. They remain on the door as he walks through, as if you knew it wouldn’t be long before he entered.

“Mate,” Ron greets; pushing a drink into Harry’s hand. Harry nods at Ron, taking a swig of his drink before smiling at Hermione.

He moves to sit next to you; wanting nothing more than to sit by your side so he can tell his plan of which he came up with by himself. All around him conversation continues as if he had never walked in in the first place. He supposes that’s bit big-headed of him to think, but as he looks around those he classes as his family, he comes to realisation that they’ve all started to move on.

It hits him then and there; just how terrified he is of being left behind.

“How have you been?” You ask; voice gentle and caring as you lean into him.

Harry smiles at you; spooning vegetables onto his plate but feeling no pangs of hunger. “You just saw me last week,” Harry reminds in humour; his attempt at avoiding the twinges of fear ravaging his gut.

You roll your eyes, “That means it’s been a while since I’ve seen you. So, how have you been?”

Harry hears the meaning in your words; he hears the undercurrent of worry in your voice, and it only adds to the pit growing in his stomach. After his decision the other night, it was as if all the realisations hit him at once and he came to see just how much of a bad friend he had been to you all. He’d had been so caught up in his self-loathing that he failed to see just how much you were struggling with it all; he hadn’t even noticed that Ron and Hermione had also sought out help too.

Harry nods; reaching for his knife and fork, “I’ve been okay.”

Even he can hear the lie in his voice, and it makes him sick to his stomach. Thankfully, you don’t address it. You simply nod; patting his hand twice before turning your attention to your own meal.

Cutlery scrapes on plates as happy conversation lightens the atmosphere. It isn’t mentioned, but it is there – the absence of Fred’s laughter and his smile, the pointed comments, and his love for his mother. It is there, and it only adds to the guilt pooling in Harry’s stomach and invading his bloodstream.

It’s as if you sense it; as if you sense Harry starting to spiral, his thoughts turning to that dark place that he so often finds himself in. It’s as if you know; changing the hand in which your fork sits to free up your other hand so you can take Harry’s under the table and squeeze. A silent reminder if there is any.

I’m here, you remind him, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.

Harry squeezes back; unable to do or say anything else, meeting Arthur Weasley’s pained eyes from across the table, and beginning to wish that he had in fact done and said more.

At the age of eighteen years old, harry defeated the darkest wizard in a century. Yet, he had lost a friend he had classed as a brother, and now finds it hard to look Molly and Arthur in the eye.

There is a lapse in conversation and Harry slips his hand free of yours, needing to leave the room before the guilt he’s sitting in drowns him. He smiles apologetically at each Weasley, eyes lingering on the empty chair across from George and promptly leaves the room.

The night air is cold against Harry’s bare arms as he sits on one of the many benches littering the Weasley’s gardens. It’s so cold that his breath is coming out in white puffs, but he doesn’t feel the need to fetch his coat. In fact, he would rather feel the cold against his skin. It reminds him that he’s alive and that he’s breathing. It reminds him of those are who no longer living.

He stiffens at the sounds of footsteps behind him; his hand immediately reaching for his wand kept in his back pocket.

Harry relaxes somewhat when he realises it was you who followed him outside, and not Ron or Hermione. He doesn’t turn, but he smiles when he hears you swear quietly, having tripped on a rogue stone.

You sigh as you sit down on the bench next to him; rubbing at your sore knee.

“How are you not freezing?” You ask; rubbing at your clothed arms, not happy with the chill seeping through to your bones.

Harry releases a breath; it puffs white, “I don’t feel it.”

You raise an eyebrow; running a finger over his arm which is covered in goosebumps, “I beg to differ.”

Harry doesn’t reply; he flashes a smile your way before returning his attention to the night sky and all that he can see of what the Weasley’s own. For a few minutes, no words are spoken between you both. Sinking into a silence that could only be described as comfortable; he doesn’t feel the constant need to reassure you that he’s okay. You check in on him every now and then, but no true pestering takes place.

Truthfully, Harry basks in your attention. He rather likes the fact that you do make a fuss of him when you check in on him because he’s sure that without you, he would be doing a lot worse than the nightmares and insomnia.

Breaking the silence, you broach the subject of Harry’s health, “Harry, can I give you the name and number of my therapist? I’ve made real progress since working with her, and I think you will too.”

Harry smiles at you; feeling grateful for your help but feeling like an awful friend for shaking his head and declining your offer. “I just… I don’t feel ready yet to speak to someone.”

You nod your head, “I get that, but Harry, it’s been five years since the end of the war, and you know how I worry.”

He nods, letting the conversation collapse into nothing in front of him. This is the time, he realises, to tell you his plans for getting better that don’t involve divulging his deepest and darkest secrets to a stranger, even if they are a trained professional.

“I have a favour to ask you,” Harry prompts, “And I’ll understand if you say no.”

“If I can help you, Harry, I’ll do anything.”

“I don’t want to speak to anyone, not yet at least, but I do want to start moving on.”

“So what’s the favour?” You ask; your curiosity piqued with his mystery.

“I want to visit the places where things have happened, whether they’re good or bad. I want to go back, and I want to see them in a different light.”

“That,” You pause; thinking of your next words, “That sounds like a really good idea, Harry. Where do I come into it though?”

Harry smiles at you sheepishly; running a hand through his forever messy hair. “I want you to come with me,” He states as plain as day.

“What?”

“I’d like for you to come with me,” Harry amends, “I don’t think I can do this on my own.”

“What about Ron or Hermione? I’m sure they would help.”

Harry shakes his head, “They’re both so busy, and they’re starting their lives together. I don’t want to dredge up bad memories for either of them if I can help it.”

You sigh, picking at an invisible thread on your sleeve, “How were you thinking of doing this? I have to work too, you know. Not everyone can inherit a fortune, Potter.”

Harry blinks, letting your words settle before a small smile breaks across his face, “You’d come with me?”

“Harry,” You start, “I don’t think there was any chance of me saying no to you. If I can help you in any way, I can. I’m always here for you.”

The familiar burn of tears starts at the back of his throat. Harry has to avert his eyes; glancing up at the night sky as he swallows past the lump in his throat. He should have known you would say yes; you’ve been by his side for everything since Third Year, but the small voice in the back of his mind had him doubting whether you would.

“Thank you,” He whispers eventually.

“So,” You begin, “Where too first?”

Grimmauld Place, Islington, London, November.

Upon the untimely death of Harry’s godfather, Sirius Black, the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix had been passed down to Harry through Sirius’ will. Sirius had no children for the house to go to, but Harry was as good as.

Standing on a residential street in Islington, you watched as the house appeared as if from nowhere. Appearing amongst number eleven and number thirteen as if it had always been there; as if it was part of the furniture at this point.

Thick dust covers each and every surface. Simply opening the door sends a cloud of dust into your face; leaving you coughing and sneezing as Harry battles the enchantments placed upon the home after the death of Albus Dumbledore.

Turning your gaze to Harry, you could remember the last time you had stepped foot in the ancestral home of the house of Black. It hadn’t been long after Sirius’ death; Harry’s gut-wrenching screams still echoing in your ears as you had bundled him up in any blankets you could find and sat him down at the kitchen table.

He hadn’t spoken much; he hadn’t even cried. Instead, his face set in steely determination, his desperate need to avenger his godfather overriding any common sense. That night, instead of comforting him and drying his eyes, it had been argument after argument, trying to make Harry see sense.

It took hours; the both of you tired not only from the arguing but from the grief sitting on your shoulders. It took hours, but Harry eventually agreed with you, choosing to sit back and wait for the right moment instead of lunging headfirst into attack that would surely get him killed.

Memory after memory washes over you, dragging you into its grips. If the memories are this strong for you, it was not hard to imagine how it must be for Harry.

You focus your attention on him, watching him warily as he wanders further down the hallway, heading for the kitchen where you still expect to hear Sirius’ raucous laugh despite years having passed since his death.

“How are you feeling?” You ask; running a finger across the now clean surface of the kitchen table.

Harry releases a shuddering breath. “I thought,” He starts, “I thought by coming here it would help me come to terms with Sirius and what happened in the Department of Mysteries but being here simply makes me hate his family more.”

“What makes you say that?”

Harry gestures to the large room. “He hated being here. He despised being locked up in the house that he left at sixteen, but he wanted to help the Order, so he stayed here and let it be used as the headquarters.”

“That… That is a very noble thing to do,” You murmur, eyes fixed on the man in front of you, taking in his tight fists and clenched jaw.

Harry laughs without humour, “The noble house of Black.”

Silence lapses and the tension in the room only increases. Biting your lip, you can only think that this was the wrong thing to do, that this is only pushing Harry further away instead of helping him come to terms with the last years of his life.

“We can leave, Harry,” You remind him, “We can leave right now and do this another day, when you’re more ready.”

He shakes his head, shaking himself out of his funk but also steadfastly refusing to go. He’s made this far; he’ll see it through to the end. He throws you a smile; it doesn’t reach his eyes and your heart cracks a little.

Holding a hand out to you, Harry states, “Come with me, I want to show you something.”

The room he enters is one he has told you about countless times; describing it with so much detail that as you enter the room behind him you feel as if you’ve already been inside.

It cannot be denied that the tapestry is nothing short of piece of art. It cannot be ignored that the depth of detail to the Black family tree is not breathtaking, but at the same time it is so utterly heartbreaking to see the scorch marks litter the walls. The consequence of turning against one’s own family, you think as you step further into the room, taking in its beauty but also its darkness.

“The noble house of Black,” Harry spits, gesturing to four walls, pointing at each scorch mark before settling on the one that once showed the portrait of his beloved godfather.

“He got out,” He states brokenly, “He left his blood family to live with his found family. He had a life ahead of him. He had my father, he had Remus. He had his family, and it was all taken away in one night. In one night, Sirius lost his best friend and then his freedom.

“And all I feel when I think about Sirius is anger. At how he was treated. He was good, (Y/N),” Harry states, his tone pleading, full of emotion, “He was good, and he was treated like shit. His real family didn’t care but his found family did and then he lost all of it.”

“He found you, Harry,” You remind him, “Sirius found you. You didn’t have half as long with him than what you should have, but he made sure to be involved in your life. After the Triwizard Tournament and you had come back with Cedric, Sirius would not leave your side in the hospital. I remember seeing him every morning and he would stay every night. He loved you, Harry – remember that.”

“And what did I do?” Harry laughs, “I got him killed. Some godson I am.”

“Harry, you are not to blame for Sirius’ death.”

He scoffs, disbelief and derision echoing off the walls. You stalk over the green eyed man, your determination growing with every step. You grab his face in both your hands, bringing his face to your level, “Listen to me, Potter. Are you listening?”

He nods, eyes wide and voice silent.

“Good,” You smirk before turning serious. “You are not to blame for Sirius’ death. He knew what was happening in the Department of Mysteries. He knew that there was a chance he was not going to come out of there alive and he still went in to find you, to protect you.”

“If I had paid more attention to what Voldemort showed me though… I could have figured out it was fake…”

You shake your head, “You were a sixteen year old boy, barely trained in occlumency and legilimency. You weren’t to know that what you had seen was fake. All you saw, Harry, was someone you care about being tortured. You acted on instinct.”

“Foolish instinct,” He argues.

You roll your eyes, “Not foolish at all. More brave than foolish.”

Harry remains silent; letting your words sink into his skin, binding them to his bones. It isn’t going to be as simple as one speech and all is forgiven, it is going to take time to forgive himself for the death of his godfather. There is always going to be an element of himself that believes strongly that he was the cause of Sirius’ death; if he hadn’t acted so rashly, if he had stopped to think things through, to go over exactly what Voldemort had shown him, Harry might have been able to delay Sirius’ death.

If, if, if.

If, if, if. He repeats that word; hindsight is a wonderful thing. If he had done this, if he had done that. Hindsight was going to be the death of him.

Harry focuses his attention back on you and the warmth of your hands on either side of his face. Gently, Harry places his hands on top of yours, “Can you let go of me now?”

You smile before pursing your lips, pretending to think through the answer. “I don’t know,” You ponder, “Are you going to continue to argue with me?”

“Probably,” Harry admits, “But I’m ready to go now.”

Harry lets his hands drop from yours, his eyes running over your face before stepping back. Your hands drop to your sides, clenching as if they wished to be touching him some more. His face feels cold now that you’ve let him go, as if all the warmth his body carried was in your hands.

“Do you think you’ll come back?” You ask, unable to help yourself.

Harry pauses, closing the door to the Black family tree behind him. He looks up and down the hallway; thinking of the memories he has cherished over the years. He had Sirius in his life for far shorted than he deserved, but he had Grimmauld Place to help him discover the man he idolised.

Meeting your stare, he nods. “I think I will eventually.”

Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, Scottish Highlands, December.

It didn’t matter how long it had been since your last visit; it didn’t matter how long it had been since you roamed the corridors of the place you once considered your second home, seeing Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry rise out of the Scottish Highlands would never be something you could get used to.

From your spot in Hogsmeade, you can just make out the turrets of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw towers. Slight unease spreads through your chest as you think back to the last time you had been at the school; still a student, hurling curses and jinxes at any Death Eater that happened by you.

Reflexively, you curl your hands into fists, your fingernails biting into the soft flesh of your palms. You gasp slightly as the pain; your mind becoming clearer and your focus becoming sharper. Harry’s hand takes yours; unfurling your fingers and replacing them with him, tangling your hands together.

“(Y/N), are you okay?”

You take a deep breath; mentally working through the exercises given to you by your therapist,. Shakily, you smile at Harry, “I’m okay, Harry, don’t worry about me. How are you feeling?”

His eyebrows furrow as he squeezes your hand. “I’ll always worry about you,” He says gently before continuing, “I’ll be okay though. I have you.”

You smile weakly; letting yourself be led through the well-worn path from Hogsmeade to the school. Small conversation is made; Harry bringing up happier memories of your education at the magical castle. The time when Ron received a Howler from his mother; the time when Hermione punched Draco Malfoy in the face.

Happier times now turned to memories; each one tinted with age.

Hogwarts soon looms in front of you both. Harry’s hand tightens on yours, fingers squeezing to the point of cutting off blood flow as he leads you into the grounds of the school.

It feels like coming home, but it also feels like facing your worst enemy. The Battle of Hogwarts had been hard on everyone who found themselves there; it had been hard for students and teachers. You would never forget the screams and the sound of breaking stone. It would be a long while until the sight of dead bodies could be scrubbed from your mind.

“Mr. Potter,” McGonagall greets from the stairs; voice warm and fond, “To what do we the pleasure of this visit with Miss (Y/L/N)?”

“I was hoping to walk the school and its grounds for a bit, Professor. If you don’t mind, that is. I’m trying to get better,” Harry states; sincerity ringing in his voice so much so that even McGonagall looked to be taken aback by his words.

She nods; finding her voice but needing to clear her throat first of all the emotion he had brought up, “Of course, Potter. Take as long as you need.”

Harry smiles at the beloved Professor gratefully, stretching out a hand towards you. You take it, resisting the urge to tangle your fingers together as Harry leads you to the Great Hall. “Where do you want to start?” You ask; eyes scanning the familiar walls, lingering on the Gryffindor table.

“I don’t know,” Harry admits, sounding lost as his eyes dance around the repaired room.

“It’s strange for me too,” You whisper, voice loud in the cavernous hall.

“It was entirely destroyed,” Harry recalls, sweeping his gaze over the large wall of windows by the Ravenclaw table.

You hope up on the closest table, crossing your legs as you watch Harry work through it all in his mind. He hadn’t been in the hall too long, but even that was long enough to have to branded into your memories.

“The tables were pushed back against the wall,” He states, gesturing to both walls before sweeping his hands above the floor, “And bodies were laid out on the floor, resting on blankets and towels,” Harry turns towards the staff table, pointing to a flagstone just in front of it, “That was where Fred laid – Molly and George crying over his body,” Harry spins, his finger now pointing back in the direction of the Ravenclaw table, “Remus and Tonks rested there. Teddy, my Godson, now an orphan… like me.”

“So many lives lost,” He whispers brokenly; eyes lined with tears that won’t fall, no matter how sad or broken he feels.

You slip off the table, going to his side and clutching his hand. “We lost a lot that day,” You whisper, “There isn’t a person here who doesn’t feel that same loss, Harry.”

“I was terrified of finding you laid out in the Great Hall,” Harry admits though not for his own good; he’s coming too close to admitting his feelings for you, but this is something he had never told a living soul, and he would be damned if he wasn’t going to tell you.

“What?” You ask, all thoughts emptying out of your head as you focus on Harry entirely.

“I was terrified of finding you in the Great Hall. I was so scared that I even hesitated at the door, wondering whether to walk in or walk away. I have dealt with a lot, and will continue to deal with a lot, but if there is one thing I cannot cope with the idea of, it is you hurt or worse,” He takes a deep breath, “The Battle of Hogwarts brought that out of me.”

“I’m here, Harry,” You reassure, “I’m here and I’m whole.”

“I know that now, but then I didn’t and even thinking of it drives me close to madness.”

“I wouldn’t leave without saying anything,” You laugh, “You know that Harry.”

Harry laughs, but there’s no heart to it. “I have you now, that’s something.”

Your heart skips a beat; thudding in your chest so loud you believe that it is entirely possible that Harry could hear it pounding away in your chest. You lean in, hiding your face in Harry’s shoulder – a rare moment of tenderness from both of you. Harry’s hand slips from yours to wrap around your waist, holding you to his body.

Hiding your smile in Harry’s shoulder, you murmur as loud as you dare, “You have me now, Harry. You have me forever.”

Neither of you make it further around the grounds of the castle; sticking to its interiors, wandering the corridors when students are firmly placed in classrooms, not wanting to be a distraction to their education.

Harry’s words continue to play through your mind; how he would not be able to cope if he lost you too. It makes this all more important for you, helping him come to terms with what he has experienced in such a short amount of time.

However, a small part of you rejoices in his admission, the words echoing in your head with a hint of hope. A hope that Harry may feel the same as you after all.

Hogwarts is left with a wave to McGonagall and a promise to write soon. Harry’s muscles relax the further he gets from the castle; the tension leeching away as he breathes in fresh air and Hogsmeade comes into view. He adored Hogwarts; it was his home, but he had to admit that it would be a while before he could face the whole castle without wanting to scream at the walls.

It’s a start however, Harry thinks as he grabs your hands and apparates the two of you back to his flat. It’s a start, he thinks, and now for the rest of it.

Little Hangleton, England, January.

Little Hangleton resides six miles from its paired village Great Hangleton. Little Hangleton was very much a village that was powered through gossip; the rumour mill only grew upon the deaths of the Riddle family. By the time an arrest had been made, the town had become judge, jury and executioner – sentencing poor Frank Bryce to a life of social exclusion even after being proven innocent.

Little Hangleton is made up of one main high street; five or six shops with a pub near the middle. It has a small village green where the local cricket team likes to practice every Saturday morning. It isn’t an extraordinary village; plain in comparison to other dwellings, but it’s history with the Riddle family would go down in wizarding lore until the end of days.

Harry continues to hold onto your hand long after you apparate into the village, landing in side street rather than in the high street as not to attract too much attention from the villagers. You refuse to be the first to let go; admitting to yourself that you rather like the way his hands fits in yours, how it feels like a steady anchor holding you in place.

Taking one look at the dark haired man next to you, you knew in your gut that this was going to be a hard day for him. Harry doesn’t talk about his nightmares often, but form what he has told you, this picturesque village features enough that you can see the tension line Harry’s jawline.

Nudging his shoulder, you smile softly, “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Harry’s hand tightens on yours. He doesn’t reply verbally; nods his head and focuses on finding his destination. He can’t verbalise his gratefulness; he cannot put it into words just what this means to him because Harry is fairly certain there are no words to cover the scope of what he feels for you in this very moment.

He knew he was asking a lot of you to keep doing this; to visit these places and relive his darkest times with him. He knew it affected you more than you admitted, but he still was selfishly grateful you choose to come every time.

He thinks that he wouldn’t have been as half as productive with his feelings if it wasn’t for you. Harry’s feelings for you only having grown through these visits; he remains in awe of you, as he always has been, but now he can no longer deny himself the depth of his love for you. To deny himself that would be a grievous crime.

However, even Harry is aware that he is nowhere ready to confront the idea of a relationship. In the last few months, he has only been able to accept that Sirius’ death and your injuries at the Battle of Hogwarts were not his fault.

He has to keep working on himself; he has to keep healing so he can be worthy of a love like his parents had.

So for now, Harry is more than content to hold your hand with each apparition, to savour the way your hand fits in his perfectly and how each squeeze of your fingers sets his heart racing.

For now, Harry is happy to remain in the throes of puppy love, but still eager for the day when he can proclaim his love for you in the hopes that you feel the same.

Such thoughts are thrown out of his head when his eyes catch the sign for graveyard. His steps falter, before coming to a brief stop by the sign. Your free hand touches his arm and Harry turns to you, seeing the question reflected in your eyes.

“Are you ready?” He asks, voicing the unspoken question.

You nod, “Ready when you are.”

The graveyard looks just as it did all those years ago; dark and miserable.

You shiver as Harry pushes open the creaky metal gate. He holds the gate open for you out of politeness, but he does not return your smile of gratitude. Harry keeps his facial expression neutral as he turns to face the memories that still plague him all these years later.

His eyes run over the gravestones as he puts one wary foot in front of the other. You follow behind him timidly, footsteps slower as you too read over the names written in marble, granite, limestone.

It doesn’t take long to find the place. Harry’s feet take him there automatically despite the fact that the last time he was here, he had been apparated in and did not walk out.

The Reaper stands proudly among the gravestones; his scythe crossed against his body in readiness. Harry stills, coming to a stop in front of it. He tilts his face; staring into the faceless stone hood of the figure that had him trapped like prey all those years ago.

Harry doesn’t turn from the figure as he points directly behind him. “That is where he killed Cedric,” He states bluntly, hearing the thud the Hufflepuff’s body made as he landed lifeless at Harry’s side.

Your eyes leave Harry; body tensing as you make eye contact with the patch of grass that would be the last thing to touch Cedric’s body.

Harry finally turns; gaining control of the anger and upset that had been raging in his body since landing at the graveyard gates. He needs to approach this carefully; he needs to approach all of this carefully, so he doesn’t fall back into the dark pit he found himself in months ago.

Harry gestures to the centre of the small copse and then to the Reaper, “That is where I had to watch as Voldemort rose again.”

“Oh Harry…” You whisper, voice breaking as you say his name.

Harry’s eyes shutter closed, and his bottom lip begins to wobble. He had been fourteen years old; he had not had his first kiss and yet, he had to duel the darkest wizard to have been produced in a century.

“I thought I was going to die that night,” He confesses after a moment; opening his eyes to once again focus on the faceless depiction of Death himself. “I thought I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it.”

Resolve steels your nerves and once again, your feet find their way to Harry.

“You did make it out, Harry. You made it out alive.”

“Two of us went in, (Y/N).”

“It can’t be ignored,” You start, “Cedric’s death was an utter tragedy; completely unexpected and blindsided everyone in the school, but you cannot blame yourself for this, Harry. Cedric died at the hands of a madman – not you.”

“I could have done something!” He screams, finally losing all grip on his temper, “I should have done something. Instead, as Wormtail murdered Cedric, all I did was shout his name as if it was going to help. I did nothing, I as good as murdered him.”

Breath leaves your body in one fell swoop; you had never seen Harry like this. He runs both hands through his hair in frustration as he tries to get a hold on his temper, reigning it in. You remain silent as Harry works to control himself; you watch him pace the small copse, flattening the green grass under his feet.

“I’m sorry,” Harry whispers, breaking the silence, “I didn’t mean to shout at you.”

“Harry,” You sigh, “I am more than capable of handling you shouting at me.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong though, and I just take everything out on you.”

You laugh, short and sweet, “I think this is the first time you’ve ever shouted at me, Potter.”

He smiles though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I try not to make a habit of shouting at my friends,” Harry states, throwing you a look that states the obvious.

Wringing your hands together, you brace yourself for your next words. Meeting Harry’s stare, fixing your gaze on him, you politely demand, “Tell me more about that night, Harry.”

So he does.

It comes rushing out of him in a torrent; words flying so fast that his speech gets muddled up and he sometimes has to say his sentences again. For so long he has been holding this in; there are very few people who know what happened that night in this very graveyard and out of those, many are dead or imprisoned so Harry has been left to deal with the pain.

It feels like a confession. It feels as if he is seeking forgiveness from his crimes; seeking repentance from a priest of his choosing because he needs to get it out, he needs to know whether penance is possible for the sins committed that night.

Harry feels as if a weight is being lifted off his chest as he tells you about duelling Voldemort and the spell that had taken place beforehand. Harry seeks solace in your comforting gaze and reassuring smile as his voice breaks when he speaks of his parents, not having seen them in any physical form since that night with the Mirror of Erised.

Once he starts, he finds it hard to stop. He stutters over his feelings over Cedric’s death, pausing once in a while to let you interject a thought and for the first time since starting this exercise, since asking you to come along with him, Harry feels as if it is starting to work.

Eventually, his voice falls quiet as does his mind.

“How do you feel?” You ask; an expected question that accompanies each location visited.

Harry nods, “Better. Happy to have finally said what happened that night.”

“I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell you.”

“I trust you with my life,” He states honestly and plainly.

You bite your lip, averting your gaze to wander across the dark graveyard once more before finally turning to face Harry. “Are you ready?”

Harry nods: more than happy to leave this place and never return. What happened in Little Hangleton will always remain a heartbreaking tragedy; a life cruelly taken before it even got the chance to begin. The village would always be stained with such misfortune, but now, Harry feels that part of his life come to a close.

As Harry reaches for your hand, readying himself to apparate you back to your flat, his heart soars at the words you utter with conviction.

“You’re a good man, Harry.”

--------

Landing back at his flat, Harry takes a seat on his couch and hangs in his head in his hands. He had dropped you off at your flat; needing to be alone to deal with the emotions that had been threatening to suffocate him from the inside out. Whilst Harry had accepted that he played no part in Cedric’s death, he still had to confront the magnitude of what had happened to himself.

It hits him all at once; the scale of what he had been through throughout his education. From the ages of eleven to eighteen, Harry hadn’t seen a school year through without injury or battle. It’s as he sits there that he realises the extent to which he was used by the headmaster he looked up to; used as a pawn to further the game of chess being played by Dumbledore and Voldemort.

The waves never cease; his parents, Sirius, Fred, Remus, Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody, and Cedric.

No tears fall; he isn’t sure he has the capacity to cry anymore. Tears haven’t fallen since they fell out relief for the end of the war, but out of sadness for the deaths of Fred, Remus, and Tonks.

Sitting on his couch, shivers overtake his body. His teeth chattering as he reaches for the blanket kept across the back of his couch, wrapping it around his shoulders. Harry bites back the scream that is slowly crawling up his throat; he pushes it down as he fights for control of his mind.

Collecting his thoughts, Harry comes to a conclusion.

He needs to return to where it all began.

Godric’s Hollow, West Country, England, March.

Spring blooms real and true, and Harry feels ready enough to return to Godric’s Hollow. Harry could count on one hand how many times he has stepped foot in the village his parents once called home. He had been born in Godric’s Hollow; at the end of July to two loving parents who adored him just as much as they adored each other.

Out of respect for James and Lily Potter – murdered at the age of twenty-one – the house in which they lived had never been repaired. The thatched roof remains caved in; a large hole in the middle of it, letting the elements now batter the house.

It had been twenty-two years since Harry had stepped foot inside the house he was born in. It had been five years since he stood outside of it with Hermione; only beginning to feel the grief for the parents he never truly knew.

It was this that had plagued Harry from the moment he turned eleven and arrived at Hogwarts. How does he grieve for those he never truly knew?

As crass as it is to say, Harry didn’t know his parents outside his need for food, comfort, and love. The memories of his mother and father are so clouded; he can no longer tell whether they are his own or whether he’s simply simulated a story told to him by family friends.

He was fifteen months old when they were murdered. He was fifteen months old and barely aware of his own shadow.

Whilst he hadn’t visited the house much – it being too painful to see the sight of his parent’s murder – he had visited their graves in the years that have passed.

With you in tow, Harry leads you down the worn, familiar path. He slows his pace every now and then; warning you of an upcoming dip that may make you lose your balance.

All too soon, however, you stand in front of the grave of James and Lily Potter.

Quietly, he asks, “How do I grieve my parents when I never knew them?”

Your heart breaks for him; unable to stop yourself, you wrap an arm around his waist offering any form of comfort you can. Shakily, you answer, “I guess you can mourn what could have been or you grieve the fact that they were so young. Either way, Harry, they’re never going to leave you.”

“I know that,” He whispers; gaze fixed on the grave of his parents, “All I know of them is what I’ve been told. I feel as if my memories have been tainted, and I know that they all mean well, but sometimes-”

He cuts himself off with a huff; kneeling down and drawing out his wand. Silently, Harry conjures a bouquet of Orchids, Chrysanthemums and Lilies and then bows his head in silent prayer, continuing to grieve the parents he would never know.

You place your hand on his shoulder, “Sometimes you what, Harry?”

He sighs, “Sometimes I wish they would stop. I was so young when they died – any memories I have of them are practically gone but sometimes I have these flashes. I have no idea whether they’re real or not, but I feel as if they are. Yet, when friends tell me stories of what it was like to go to school with them or to fight alongside them, it’s like they’re pushing they’re version of James and Lily Potter onto me. Does that make sense?”

Squeezing his shoulder, you answer, “It makes perfect sense. The James and Lily you knew is different from what Sirius knew or what McGonagall knew.”

“I just worry that the more stories I hear, the quicker I lose what I know of them.”

“I don’t think that’s possible, Harry.”

“You don’t?” He asks, shifting to his feet and facing you.

You shake your head, “I don’t. I think you’re going to remember your parents for the rest of your life; their morals and values make up yours, Harry. You might not think, but you are a lot more like them than you realise.”

Harry bows his head, feeling the familiar burn of tears at the back of his throat. He clamps his mouth shut, begging the feeling to go away. Quietly, almost ashamedly, Harry asks, “Do you think they would be proud of me?”

Then and there, your heart breaks, cleaving itself in two for the man standing before you. It’s the only dream of a child; to make their parents proud, but what about children who do not have parents – who grew up in a home that did not cherish them like it should have?

Silver lines your eyes; tears threatening to make an appearance as you reach for Harry’s hands, pulling him into a hug. Against his shoulder, you state with conviction, “They would be extremely proud of you, Harry. So proud of you it would shine out of them.”

Harry sniffles; ducking down somewhat to tuck his head against your neck, hiding his face in the junction between your neck and shoulder. From the outside, it looks as if two lovers are embracing, unable to keep their hands off the other for too long. However, you know that Harry is trying his best to maintain his composure, to try and gets to grips with the emotions that follow never knowing the ones who were supposed to raise you.

Minutes pass and neither of you move; neither of you willing to be the one to break this moment, but for the day to progress, you need to step away from the only man you have ever loved.

Releasing Harry, you send what you hope is a reassuring smile in his direction, “Come on, Harry,” You prompt, “Show me the rest of Godric’s Hollow?”

Framing it as a question, you offer Harry the choice. He is in control of this moment; h can choose whether he shows you the rest of the wizarding village or whether the two of you apparate back to his flat and spend the rest of the day mooching about.

Harry smiles: it’s watery, but fixed as he nods, stepping around you to lead you out of the graveyard.

Hands brush every now and then as the both of you wander back to the high street. A simple brush of hands, a simple twitch of fingers and your heart would start to race, practically shouting for Harry to take your hand and tangle your fingers together.

“I think I’m going to live here,” Harry murmurs; eyes scanning the high street.

“Are you sure?” You ask; worried not only for the fact that you may miss him while you remain in London, but also for any potential setback this may cause him.

Harry nods; his eyes now focused on a small café straight across the road from where you stand. He gestures towards it with an open hand, “Let me explain over some food.”

The bell above the door tinkles as you follow Harry inside. He chooses a table on the left hand side of the shop; sitting at the seat that faces the window and the door. It’s with stark realisation that you come to see that he’s chosen this exact spot so he can have eyes on each entrance and exit point.

You sigh as you sit across from him; old habits die hard, you guess.

Menus are placed in front of you by a teenaged witch looking as if she would rather be anywhere else but here. Her eyes widen slightly as she takes in Harry’s form; the menu in her hand shaking as she places it down before him.

You bite your lip to repress the ever-growing smile on your face as you watch the waitress grow flustered under Harry’s smile and green eyes. She walks away in a daze after having taken your drink orders – coffee for Harry, Yorkshire Tea for you.

You shake your head fondly at the young witches departing figure; noting how she bumps into numerous tables before making it safely to the kitchen. Harry follows your gaze, wanting to know what’s taken your attention from him, “What is it?”

You shift your gaze back to the wizard, “You still don’t see the effect you have on people, do you?”

Harry frowns; his hand reaching up to touch his forehead self-consciously. He had grown his hair longer in order to cover the scar that mars the centre of his forehead; his black hair now fell around his head in curls he didn’t know he had until you had found an old picture of his father. The glasses and the curls along with the smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts; he was the spit image of his father.

“Not your scar, Harry, nor your name. I meant how you look; you have to know you’re handsome.”

Blush paints Harry’s cheeks as your words settle. The last thing he expected from today was to be told he was attractive; least of all, from you. He’s never had the chance before; to act upon his feelings for you. He realised just what he felt for you at the end of Sixth Year, and then the war happened, and he absolutely refused to let anything happen to you. He couldn’t tell you his feelings for you should it put a target on your back, and if anything happened to you, he would never forgive himself.

He laughs, shaking his head, “You’re a flatterer.”

You hold your hands up in playful surrender, “Only speaking the truth. You’ll see it one day.”

“One day,” He promises; eyes earnest as they gaze into yours.

It’s too much; just like that, it’s too much and you have to avert your stare before you end up blurting your inner most thoughts and scaring him away for good. Clearing your throat, you wait for the teenage waitress to place your drinks in front of you before you change the subject, “Why do you want to move here?”

Harry shrugs, picking up his coffee and taking a long drink, thinking over his words. “I think,” He begins, “I want to be close to them, but I also want to start carving out my life properly and this place is so peaceful. It’s so peaceful and it’s beautiful. I think it’s one of those places that if I don’t move here now, I’ll still move later on.”

You nod, “I get that. It is gorgeous here.”

Harry hums, “I’d still be in London every week.”

“You’d commute?” You ask, puzzled in terms of train schedules.

Harry barks out a laugh that turns into silent shaking of his shoulders as the teenage waitress returns, her pad in hand as she waits for your food order. Harry continues to repress his laughter throughout his order. As the waitress walks away, you fix Harry with an unimpressed stare. “Are you going to let me in on the joke?”

Harry smiles at you; as in, he really smiles at you. He beams as he whispers somewhat in awe, “I love you. You’re one of the smartest witches I know, and you still forget about the fact that we can apparate.”

You reel back in your chair, knees knocking into the table as the air leaves your body in a single breath. “What? What did you say first?”

Harry’s smile, if possible, grows as he shrugs his shoulders, “I love you.”

“Since when?” You demand, wondering how on earth he could discuss something as important as this as nonchalantly as one would discuss the weather.

“Sixth Year,” He confesses, blush beginning to paint his cheeks.

“That long?” You ask, voice hushed, “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

Harry finally frowns, finger tracing the lip of his coffee cup, “There was a war, and then I wasn’t in the right frame of mind.”

Of course he wasn’t. Of course he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to confess his love for you, you admonish yourself. He had defeated the Dark lord and then had to cope with the survival guilt for years. It had only been in the last year that he finally let himself let go of the guilt surrounding the casualties of war.

“I love you too,” You admit, chewing on the inside of your cheek from nerves.

“You do?” Harry asks, about as breathless as you were when he confessed only moments ago.

“I do,” You confirm, smiling.

It isn’t much in the way of confessions, but the look on Harry’s face says it all. His green eyes remain bright and the smile wide on his face even as the waitress returns with your food. He looks as if no wrong could be done in that moment; the food could be the worst he has ever eaten but it wouldn’t matter.

You love him.

You love him as he loves you, and suddenly it all makes sense. His motivations through the war; not only wanting to rid the world of Voldemort but wanting to secure a safe future in which he can love you.

The food is eaten quickly; the both of you rushing to make it outside where you can talk more, and in private.

The bill is paid. The waitress wanders back to the till; stunned at the sight of Harry’s smile – and you couldn’t blame her.

Harry stands from his seat, reaching for his jacket and waiting patiently for you. Electricity thrums between you; holding promises of more to come, the headiness of it having you gripping the table tightly as you rise to your feet. One look at Harry’s face and you know he’s feeling it too.

Pausing outside the small café, you hold your hand out for Harry to take.

A soft breeze blows through Godric’s Hollow, disturbing your hair and the trees around you. Harry holds onto your hand tightly as the both of you begin to wander down the high street; the blossoms of the trees fluttering around you as they fall to the floor. Harry inhales deeply; the floral of the blossoms mixed with the sweetness of your perfume providing the perfect backdrop to his future.

Harry’s Flat, London, England, September.

Healing is a process. It is neither quick nor slow; it follows its own pace.

Through this process, Harry has realised that he is in fact getting better. He has his bad days; days where he seldom leaves his bedroom and refuses to stare at anything but the wall.

However, those days are becoming scarcer. Harry can sometimes go weeks before he has an episode that leaves him bedbound, and for that, he is proud of himself.

He doesn’t do it alone; he has you by his side through it all as you both prepare for the move to Godric’s Hollow. For both the good and the bad days.

********

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @harrypotter289 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @figlia--della--luna @probably-peeves @darlingdelacour @big-galaxy-chaos @annasofiaearlobe @imboredandneedalife @levylovegood @mytreec @haphazardhufflepuff @stupxfy @chaoticgirl04 @accio-rogers @starlightweasley @dreaming-about-fanfictions @lestersglitterglue @msmimimerton @obx-beach @izzytheninja @slytherinprincess03 @bbeauttyybbx @breadqueen95 @acciotwinz @kashishwrites @slytherinsunrise @kylosleftbuttcheek @remmyswritings @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @ria-rests-here @superbturtlemakerathlete @inglourious-imagines @ithilwen-lionheart @now-its-time-for-a-breakdown @ilovejjmaybank @theweasleysredhair @theonly1outof-a-billion @phuvioqhile @moatsnow @storyisnotover @missmulti @himooonlight

#harry potter x reader #Harry Potter #harry potter imagines #harry x reader #harry potter imagine

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

Text

I feel like if we really want to take a closer look at the topic of c!Dream’s obsession with c!Tommy, we have to look into both his reasons for it, and the tactics he employs to achieve his goals concerning it.

[ /dsmp /roleplay I did not tag this that way but this entire analysis is hugely c!Dream critical and focuses on the various facets of his manipulation, so if you’re not in the mood to read that, you have been warned not to. ]

Interestingly enough, before the SMP was actual heavy roleplay, back during the original disc war, the reason c!Dream listed for keeping the discs was to use them as bargaining chips, because he knew c!Tommy wanted them back, as they were hard items to get at the time, and knew he could use them for that purpose.

He had just gotten mugged and repeatedly killed by c!Tommy, who had also participated in a conflict beforehand, and only gave a half-hearted apology in the end. He had also seen him cause problems on the server before that. The discs were meant to be something he would threaten to destroy if c!Tommy started acting out of line, because he didn’t trust him to keep his word and wanted a guarantee. That was the reason he insisted on keeping the discs after getting his armor back, which is why he originally stole them.

And I feel like c!Dream’s train of thought, while skewed and twisted with irrational mindsets, is rather straightforward in essence. Conflict is what he actively stands against and what stops him from having a united server, hence in his mind, he needs to destroy things that bring conflict, and control what he can’t or doesn’t want to destroy. He thinks c!Tommy brings conflict, so he feels like he needs to find ways to control him.

Sure, we all know about the systematic abuse and isolation he employed to make c!Tommy believe he was his friend, but one of his major tactics since the beginning has also been intimidation, or a particular type of manipulation that leads to people fearing him or thinking that he has more power than he actually does. In his mind, if people are scared of him, they’re much more likely to listen to him. And the most fascinating thing is that it works.

During the initial exile conflict, despite him being just a single person with no official political power, he assures victory by aggressively, and very intelligently, threatening his way through the negotiations. c!Tubbo is scared of him, and that is not a coincidence. It’s purposeful.

Seeing as he planned to give L’Manberg technical independence either way - he said that there was no real way for him to stop them from pursuing that anyways, so that wasn’t the intention - even the war seems like a very likely ploy to make the revolutionaries fear him enough so that they wouldn’t start conflict after seceding. c!Wilbur is careful not to start anything with the Greater Dream SMP after this, because c!Dream has shown that he can and will ruin them if they do. c!Tubbo also knows exactly the lengths c!Dream will go to if he promises war thanks to this, and that if he says he’ll build a wall and keep them from leaving it with force, he’s going to do it. When c!Tubbo is faced with an ultimatum, seeing as his goal is to keep New L’Manberg safe and peaceful, he knows he has no option but to give in.

Another variation of this tactic is making himself seem more dangerous and unpredictable than he actually is and obscuring his motivation. If people don’t know what he wants, they are less able to devise effective tactics to stop him from getting it. The element of surprise is something that he utilizes constantly throughout warfare, and psychological battling is no different. For instance, during Doomsday he begins talking about how the server will “be at peace now” thanks to L’Manberg being gone, before c!Tommy barges in, and begins implying he did this all because he hates him.

DREAM Tommy… Look. In all destruction *looks at the falling TNT* there is a new beginning.

TOMMY You- you did this…! To all of us! Not just to me, but to everyone here…!

DREAM Beautiful. You know… the unfinished symphony, right?

…

TOMMY Why…?

DREAM The server will be at peace now.

TOMMY Why, Dream…?

DREAM Because I didn’t-

TOMMY Couldn’t you just- couldn’t you just burn the discs…? Couldn’t you just do it to me? Why did you have to…?

DREAM This is much more fun.

[ credits to @dsmptranscripts on twitter ]

Although c!Dream’s motivation for destroying L’Manberg was actually that, much like with c!Tommy, he thought that it bred conflict and division, he picks up on this and switches to saying how he did indeed do this all to hurt c!Tommy because he finds it fun.

He talks very inconsistently plenty of times, but it’s rather easy to spot a pattern of him being honest about his motives with his allies but straight up lying to his enemies. This makes sense, and it is usually employed as a deliberate tactic.

Intimidation is something he also uses to manipulate people during his time in prison. Ever since he got locked up, it became a mental fight. If people fully realized that he was powerless to stop them from hurting or killing him, his life only hanging by a thin strand on the concept of the revive book, he would’ve lost the control he needed to assure his survival.

The difference is that before then, c!Dream had actual physical power, however the manipulation gets harder to pull off when he has none, even with people he finds naive enough to fall for it. He still risks it because he’s desperate, and has nothing but his own life to lose, which is something he believes to be protected by his possession of the revival book. He had never been big on self-preservation besides staying alive to reach his goals.

He first tries this on c!Sam, who, rather unpredictably, begins to get morally corrupted by the power he has over c!Dream, on top of other factors. c!Dream talks to c!Sam about exile and about c!Tommy because logically, if he’s afraid of him, he’s less likely to try to hurt or kill him. This backfires because this new, unexpected version of c!Sam begins to fiercely hate c!Dream instead, hurting him further.

The same thing happens with c!Tommy - when he realizes that he can’t influence him through repeated visits anymore, he attempts to scare him into obedience again. He establishes himself as someone dangerous who has the power to escape and hurt c!Tommy as well as his friends, which he hopes will subconsciously sway him to not do things that he would disagree with. We can see him pretending to be the one in control throughout the stream after c!Tommy first got revived.

He also tells him that he can bring back the person who he’s afraid of the most and get him on his side, which is precisely the bit that ends up backfiring, but it doesn’t really matter, and trying was still the best thing he could’ve logically done.

If he hadn’t, at some point people would realize he actually has no power at all, and pay back the fear he’d instilled in them previously. This happens with c!Quackity, who began to take advantage of c!Dream’s lack of control as soon as he realized how easy it was to strip away the last bit of power he has, which is also keeping him alive.

Getting back on track, c!Dream essentially tries to control c!Tommy first by manipulating him into believing he is his friend, then believing he is a threat to him when that fails. We can see this from the way the Finale is prepared to be somewhat of a final showdown between the two, and also by him actually revealing the tactics he used to employ during exile, for example talking about taking away the invites to the party and not actually being his friend. This also proves he knew exactly what he was doing during that time, and he could easily switch between tactics because the end goal of controlling c!Tommy was more important to him than what c!Tommy thought of him.

And that’s it.

It’s all just a ploy to control him because he finds him one of the hardest people to stop from causing conflict.

Controlling him is as important to c!Dream as destroying L’Manberg and dethroning c!George and collecting people’s attachments, because what is important to him is achieving his goals through whatever means necessary, not the means themselves.

As for people, while he has no desire to actually kill them - or feels he cannot, because they could still be useful to his plans in the future - he treats them as either tools or obstacles he needs to deal with, especially if they ever get in the way of his plans, and he isn’t particularly attached to them. He does this to himself as well, and doesn’t seem to care about his own well-being or reputation as long as he achieves what he wants. While he’s focused on the ends to his means, that is the only thing that is important to him.

You could argue this does stem from thinking of the people he wants the server to be united for as important, since cc!Dream said his goals are for “everyone to get along”, but that doesn’t change the fact that the ways in which he works towards that goal doesn’t treat others’ or his own feelings as consequential at all. In the case of people who stand against him, their entire well-being is put to the side until what needs to be done in his mind gets done.

c!Dream isn’t “scared” of c!Tommy per se, nor does he seem to be obsessed with the guy himself, but he finds him something necessary to get out of the way to accomplish his goals, and he does so, ruthlessly as ever.

And even though the goal of eradicating conflict and uniting the server is something that he is so focused on that it could definitely be called an obsession, c!Tommy really isn’t that important within the equation at all.

This wasn’t a post to excuse or downplay any of his actions, nor do I agree with the “logical” thoughts I mentioned. There is a reason why I used phrases like “he finds” “in his eyes” “he thinks” “in his mind” “he feels like” a whole lot throughout this essay.

The character has an extremely flawed worldview that I in no way agree with (and although that should probably be pretty obvious, you really don’t know with this fandom). All this post is for is to analyse certain traits that are assigned to him, and figure out through logical reasoning whether they’re a mischaracterization or not.

And as far as the evidence goes; c!Dream isn't obsessed with c!Tommy, he is obsessed with his goal, and he sees Tommy as a big obstacle to achieving it, which makes him focus on him. These feelings he puts on display are an illusion to distract people from his real goal so they don't know how to get in his way - because, just like cc!Dream said, he “likes to withhold information; withhold plans; and withhold feelings” from everyone else.

#dream smp #c!dream #not really c!dream positive so not tagging w/ drblr #anyways #gotta go out with a bang #huh?#haven’t done analysis in a long while #this one’s a doozy

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stellocchia · 4 years

Text

Ok, I've somehow seen quite a few people around saying some things that I just cannot agree with, so let's discuss them:

1) Tommy had no character development. He's a stale character. I'm gonna guess this people have never seen a Tommy stream or a stream involving Tommy at all. This boy has sacrificed so much and changed so much I'm shocked at how many people don't seem to see it.

Let's analyse this from yesterday's stream: he finally gave up the disks after realizing that they really aren't worth his friendships, he apologized multiple times for the things he's done, he recognizes that he's done some awful stuff and that he was becoming someone he didn't want to and actively decided to change his course of action (it is to be pointed out that he and Ranboo are literally the only characters who admitted to their wrongdoings, everyone else still acts like they're on this moral high horse, which is kind of frustrating), at the bench he admitted that, no matter what he's been through, it's not an excuse for his actions. Also he immediately took charge in trying to protect his old friends and the country that threw him out and left him to die trying to left any grudges aside in favour of working towards their common goal. Old Tommy would never have done that! Remember he refused Eret's help multiple times even when he was exiled with Wilbur because of his betrayal? This boy has changed...

2) He betrayed Techno. No he didn't. He was clear with Techno from the start about not wanting to harm Tubbo or destroy L'Manburg. What happened there is that neither of them listened to the other, they both knew their objectives didn't align, but they thought they could change each other mind.

This is obvious when Tommy asks Techno: "You're not really siding with Dream are you?" Or something along those lines. Also it is to be pointed out that Techno did say that he still respected Tommy and that he would respect his decision (which is honestly the most character development we've seen from Techno so far...) and also one more little detail: Techno was siding with Tommy's past abuser! How could Techno think Tommy would be on board with that? He saw the effects of Dream's influence on him! (This is honestly just so frustrating to me...)

3) Niki did nothing wrong. I'm sorry, I know this is controversial and I probably should look at her vod, so my opinion may change later on but, for now though, Niki what the Hell was that?!

Let's start from how everyone immediately believed Dream's accusations, no questions asked. Tommy was right in being angry that no-one (aside from Techno and later Ranboo) stood up for him. Hell, they all still believed Dream after he literally admitted to manipulating Tubbo for the disk, to the fact that he literally only cared about the disk and the fact that his objective was to destroy L'Manburg from the start! He basically told them all to their faces that he was using and manipulating them and they all still went: "yep, seems trustworthy to me!"... are you kidding me?!

So, if everyone was acting so extremely dumb, why am I singling out Niki? Because of the way she attacked Tommy mostly, it was just so hypocritical. She was in the revolution, she saw him fight for L'Manburg, time and time again. And sure, he made a mistake, burned down George's house (which was an accident by the way) and he got punished for it! She knows he'd been exiled because they met before now in canon. He already paid for his actions! Heck, he's literally the only one on the server who ever had any official repercussions for his actions! And still she blames him for all of their problems! The guy who, once more, was willing to give up everything, including his last life, for people who, honestly, don't deserve it one bit. She blamed him constantly, said that he was nothing but a lier (sure he didn't admit immediately to his crime when he burned down George's house, but he did at the end! And that was the only time he lied in an important way! Come on! Plus, as I said before, he already paid for his crimes!)

Also Tommy hasn't been in L'Manburg in months in smp time, and everything fell apart anyway, it just feels very unfair to blame him for everything. Especially when you have Dream right there, admitting to be a manipulative ass and wanting to destroy everything! And especially after you have a 16 year old child-soldier telling everyone in a very obvious way that Dream abused him in exile. (He didn't state it directly, but it was impossible not to understand). At this point it just really feels like victim blaming. I'm sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding Niki's character, admittingly I don't watch her, so feel free to correct me if I missed something big, but that's just how it felt.

Some last few considerations:

I'm gonna admit I'm sad Techno and Tommy split apart. I loved them together and I really don't think L'Manburg deserves Tommy right now... because it is true that they threw him out at the first hardship they encountered and then left him to die, it is true that they never really tried to get him back and it's true that they never stood up for him. Time and time again they forced him in the position of the hero and then acted like that was just what he owed them, but it isn't. He doesn't owe them his life, he doesn't owe them his loyalty, he didn't even owe them his disks! But this is Tommy's choice (even Techno recognized) and he chose to, once again, be selfless. He could have stayed with Techno and chose the easy path, the safe path, but he decided to stand up for what he believes in and fight for his ideals and I think that's something we can all respect in a character.

I hope the others (especially the adults... please don't let the literal kids of the server be the only rational ones...) will be able to put their grudges aside and fight together for the greater good... but I have the feeling they'll fall apart. So adamant in not being on Tommy's side that they'll end up helping Dream take over. Also I'm so afraid for Ranboo and Tommy right now, I feel like at least one of them isn't gonna survive today (either that or Ranboo will switch sides).

Also, Punz is not gonna betray them in this battle, or at least, that wasn't the plan he and Dream had. Dream was planning to do something big that would force him to leave for a while and was planning to leave Punz there as his spy on the inside. Their plan is going swimmingly so far...

(Also, on a little note, I love how supportive and understanding Fundy was of Ranboo after the reveal of his "betrayal". He thinks Ranboo was right, he still trusts him and I just... their friendship just makes me so soft and it's honestly my favourite relationship in the smp)

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lightininglydia · 4 years

Text

The Rest Will Be History - George Weasley

Pairings: George Weasley x non specific house reader, Sirius Black x reader (parental), slight Remus Lupin x reader ( parental), George x reader x Fred (platonic)

Warnings: lots of arguing, feelings of abandonment etc

Summary: You wonder why you aren’t enough for Sirius and why you always come second to everyone but George reminds you that you’ll never come second to him

Trope: Childhood best friends to lovers

Word Count: 4.9K

______________________________________________________________

You sighed as you continued to argue with Sirius over Harry. You had asked him to do one thing which was to show up and be there for you but instead he blew you off for Harry again.

“ come on (y/n) don’t be ridiculous Harry needs me “ Sirius sighed feeling exhausted

“ so do I “ you stated feeling as if he was just pushing your feelings aside

“ He’s my godson! “ he shouted at you now feeling angry at how selfish you were being

“ and I’m your daughter! but that doesn’t seem to matter to you now does it? “ you shouted back feeling hurt by your fathers words

“ Harry doesn’t have any parents “ Sirius tried reasoning with you

“ yeah well by the looks of it neither do I “ you whispered before turning away from him and walking out

“ He’s trying you know “ Remus said from beside you

“ for who Rem? For you? For Harry? Because he’s certainly not trying for me. I asked him to do this one thing for me! To be there for ME today but he just couldn’t do that now could he! He was too excited to take Harry back to school shopping and to spend time with Harry!” You snapped feeling tired of having to defend your behavior

“ he was locked away for years and- “ Remus started but you quickly cut him off knowing you had heard enough.

“ No Remus that’s not an out.... he doesn’t get to use that as an excuse as to why he pays more attention to Harry because for 12 years I had to live without my father! Harry didn’t even know he existed! While I sat there for TWELVE years missing him everyday! begging and pleading for someone to listen to me when I said he was innocent but no one did! Harry’s not the only one that lost everything that night and it’s about time you all recognize that “ you spat before storming upstairs

Once you reached the top of the stairs you were met with several pairs of eyes. They all wore expressions of sympathy and pain for you. Especially Harry.

You sighed before pulling the younger boy in for a hug.

“ it’s not your fault okay? I’m sorry that we’ve practically dragged you in the middle of this argument “ you mumbled

“ it’s alright... I didn’t know about today if I had I wouldn’t have gone with him and-“

“ Harry.... this is on Sirius and Sirius alone okay? I don’t want you worrying about this alright? “ you asked him as you pulled away

“ alright “ he answered with a small smile on his face.

You returned the smile before walking into your room. Thankfully none of them had followed you so you could begin packing your things in silence. You couldn’t possibly stay here any longer, it was too painful and troubling for you. It felt as if you were always second best to everyone... to Sirius, to Remus... you’d even become second to Molly well third considering her actual children come first.

You were sick of having to beg for your own father’s attention and sick of wondering why you weren’t enough for him. Always coming second to Harry no matter what. A part of you knew it was because being with Harry made him feel close to James and Lily but that wasn’t an excuse for him to neglect you and ignore you when you needed him most.

“ tell me you’re not leaving “ George said as he entered the room without knocking

“ I could tell you that but unfortunately I’d be lying also there’s this thing called knocking.... you should try it “ you shrugged

“ ahh yes I’ll be sure to keep that in mind next time.... so you’re really going to leave me all alone here to suffer “ he sighed before dramatically throwing himself on your bed

“ always one for the dramatics..... it’s only a few days George “ you stated as you threw yourself next to him

“ yeah but once we get back to school things are different.... it’s our last year (y/n) we’ll hardly have time to just be us and then before we know it everything is done and we part ways and then who knows the next time we’ll see each other “ he rambled

“ All the time. You’ll be running the shop with Fred and I’ll be taking extra courses to become a professor and we’ll see each other whenever we want... we’ll be living the lives we’ve dreamed of since first year and everything will be perfect Georgie “

“ I’m sorry about Sirius “ he whispered

“ yeah... me too “ you said before leaning your head on his shoulder

“ is there anything I can do to make you stay.... we could build a Fort out of blankets and pillows like we used to and watch muggle films and have mum make us some hot chocolate and just escape everything and everyone for a while “ He said softly as he ran his fingers through your hair

“ you really want me to stay? “

“ of course.... I always want you around “ he smiled softly while looking down at you

“ then I’ll stay “ you declared

“ you’d really stay just for me? “ he asked

“ I’d do anything for you George.... you should know that by now “

“ I’d do anything for you too “

You looked up at him and smiled knowing that no matter what happens in life you’d always have George Weasley by your side and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“ Oi! You two get up let’s go mum says it’s time for dinner “ Fred shouted

Before you could stand up you found yourself being lifted up and thrown over George’s shoulder

“ George Fabian Weasley you put me down right this instant! “ you shouted as he ran down the hallway and to the stairs

“ no can do love “ he laughed as he ran down the stairs

You couldn’t help but laugh. George always seemed to put a smile on your face no matter what.

“ George put (y/n) down! “ you heard Molly shout but George still didn’t listen as he continued to carry you right to the table.

You were a laughing mess by the time he set you down in the chair next to his at the dinner table. You felt slightly dizzy but the feeling of happiness that coursed through your body made it worth it.

“ Thank you “ you whispered to George ignoring all the eyes on the two of you

“ for what? “ he questioned as he leaned in closer to you

“ always being here.... no one makes me smile like you do so thank you “

He just smiled at you before giving you a quick kiss on your forehead and pulling away, turning his attention towards Molly who now stood at the head of the table.

“ I know these next few days are going to be a bit hectic and this may be our last dinner just us so I wanted to toast everyone especially Fred, George and (y/n) as they go into their last year at Hogwarts. I’ve gotten to watch the three of you grow up together and I am so proud of all three of you “ she said with tears in her eyes.

Tears pricked in your eyes knowing Molly was like a second or third mother to you . I mean the woman had practically raised you alongside Narcissa much to Lucuis’s dismay.

“ Thank you Molly “ your voice shook as you spoke, an indicator you were trying not to cry.

“ oh my dear.... it has been an honor to see you grow into this fierce and strong woman. I want to thank you for always looking after my boys and Ginny and let you know that I am so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. I cannot wait to see you teach at Hogwarts in the next few years. You’re like a daughter to me and I feel so grateful to have you in our lives “

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling at her words. You stood up and made your way over to her practically throwing yourself in her arms, hugging her tight.

“ Thank you for always being there for me and welcoming me into your home. Encouraging me over the years and overall being the parent I never had “ you whispered in her ear knowing that no one else needed to hear what you were saying.

You pulled away and gave her a smile before returning to your seat next to George who wore the biggest smile on his face.

He loved that his family loved you just as much as he did.

“ I’d also like to make a toast to (y/n)..... I know I’m not usually one for the sappy stuff but you’re my best friend and pretty much sister and I’m so proud of you. We’ve been by each other’s side for as long as I can remember and you’ve been our biggest supporter. Staying up late to help us come up with products or to help us study, always looking out for us and Ron and Ginny.... I can’t believe you’ve spent all these years rebelling along with us just to become a professor but I’m proud of you none the less and I love you like a lot.... you’re family to us Weasley’s and if Mum had her way you’d already be married in “ Fred laughed which also caused you to laugh

“ I love you too Freddie “ you laughed before standing up and pulling him in for a hug. Once he pulled away and sat down you stayed standing up

“ since we’re toasting and giving speeches I’d like to make one too..... I wouldn’t be the person I am today without all of you here and I appreciate having all of you in my life. However.... these two red headed twins here are the most important people in my life. So I want to make a toast to the two of you. You guys are two of the smartest most innovative people I’ve ever met. I mean what 14,15,16,17 year olds do you know that can do what you’ve done? I have no doubt in my mind that with whatever you decide to do in life that you’ll excel at it. I believe in the two of you with everything I can and I love you guys so much “

They both stood up and pulled you in for a hug which caused you to laugh. When you pulled away you all sat down and looked around at everyone at the table. They all wore proud smiles and most were teary eyed after seeing just how close the three of you truly were. You however didn’t miss the sad look on Sirius’s face, it caused your chest to sink and the happiness you felt to immediately void your body.

Before you could say something to him and owl appeared at the window causing Molly to rush over and open it. You recognized the owl as one of the Malfoy’s owl’s so you knew it was here for you. The owl quickly flew over to you and dropped a letter in your lap before flying away. You ignored all the questions and quickly opened the letter.

My dearest (y/n),

I wish I could be with you in the next few days as you prepare for your final year at hogwarts but unfortunately given our current situation that’s not possible.

I fear for Draco’s safety in the coming years and would like to ask if you’d look after him for me this year....Look out for one another like you’ve done for so many years despite all that’s going on. Take care of and love each other.

It appears we’re going to be on opposing sides of this upcoming war and I want you to know that no matter what happens that I will always love you like a daughter. No matter who you align yourself with or who you love or what you are you will always be family to me.

I wish you nothing but the best in your final year and want you to know that I believe in you. I know you’re going to do great things. I love you, stay safe and take care of yourself

Love - Cissy

You folded the letter back up as a few more years slipped from your eyes. You sniffled before smiling.

“ well who was it from? “ Remus asked

“ Cissy.... she just wanted to wish me luck “ you beamed with tear filled eyes

“ Cissy? As in Narcissa Malfoy? You trust that retched woman? “ Sirius asked with a venomous tone taking you by surprise a d causing your blood to boil

“ retched woman? That retched woman took me in and raised me while you were in Azkaban! You have no right to speak on things you know nothing about “ you bit back causing everyone’s eyes to go wide.

You hardly ever spoke to anyone like that so when you spoke to your own father like that it shocked everyone however you were extremely close with Narcissa.

“ (y/n) Andromeda black you will not speak to me like that in my own house! “ Sirius shouted

“ it’s Malfoy and as of (y/b/d) it was made my house. Your mother hated you Sirius the tapestry proves it. The house and everything she ever had was to be given to me when I turned 17 so I’ll speak to you however I please in MY house that I’ve allowed you to stay in “ your tone was icy as your glare hardened

“ what? “ he asked baffled

“ it’s true.... your mother left the house to her only grandchild. She was raised by the Malfoy’s so she figured she would carry on the black family legacy instead she’s here fighting alongside the order and helping to keep you safe.... it might help if you pay an ounce of attention to her considering you’re only safe here because of her “ Remus said calmly

The room had fallen silent and everything was now awkward. You felt bad for how you had snapped at Sirius but at the same time the way he had been treating you lately had been making your blood boil.

“ well.... I think I’ll just head to bed now “ Sirius announced before standing up and making his way out of the room.

You sighed as you looked over at Remus

“ thank you Rem.... I’m sorry for all this arguing and I know that must have been hard for you “

“ It wasn’t.... yes Sirius is my best friend but you’re my god daughter. He trusted me to protect you, keep you safe and stand up for you so that’s exactly what I’ll do even if it‘s him I have to fight “

You just smiled at him before looking around at everyone.

“ okay let’s eat! “ you exclaimed.

Dinner passed quickly everyone making small talk and enjoying themselves. Everyone except you, the thought of Sirius sitting alone in his room instead of down here where he should be was weighing heavily on you.

“ go “ George said suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts

“ what? “

“ go get him “ he said while motioning for you to get up and go

“ how did you-“

“ because I know you “ he beamed causing you to look up at him with a look of adoration on your face.

“ stop ogling me and go “ George laughed

Your face turned red before nodding and standing up, quickly excusing yourself and running up the stairs. You quietly walked over to his room and opened the door.

“ you’ve spent enough time alone and in the dark don’t you think “ your voice was soft as you looked down on the man who sat in the corner all alone

“ used to it by now “ he muttered

“ come back downstairs.... you shouldn’t be up here alone when there’s a room full of people that love you downstairs “

“ the one I want to love me the most is the one who seemingly loves me the least “

“ If I loved you the least do you think I’d be standing here? “

“ did they really raise you? The Malfoy’s? “

“ yes.... they did and they did a good job. Lucius was more focused on raising Draco and Narcissa was more focused on raising me. She’s the closet thing I have to a mother besides molly “

There was silence for a moment until you decided to finally ask the question that had been looming over you for months.

“ why aren’t I good enough.... I mean why is Harry so important to you but I’m not “

Sirius looked up at you, a look of pain and guilt spreading across his face at your words.

“ oh (y/n) it’s not that it’s- “ he stopped, trying to find the words.

“ I used to write to you.... I could never send them of course but I always wrote you letters telling you about myself and my friends... how my day was going and how no matter what anyone said I’d always believe you were innocent... tell you that I would give absolutely anything for someone else to realize it so we could finally be a family “ you stopped to take a breath before continuing

“ When you broke out I was so happy.... the childlike fantasies could finally be real and you’d come and find me and tell me how you thought of me everyday but you didn’t.... you didn’t do any of that instead you came for Harry. You told Harry how you wanted nothing more than to be a family and I had to find out from Professor Snape that you had come to the castle. It’s not Harry’s fault and it’s not your fault that you were thrown in Azkaban but I can’t help but wonder.... why was Harry worth breaking out of Azkaban for but I wasn’t? How many years did you wait? Did you ever think of me? “

Sirius looked up at you with nothing but pain in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something but he couldn’t because he didn’t have an answer to any of your questions.

“ guess I have my answers then......I expect you downstairs in the next few minutes or I’ll send Kreacher up here to bother you until you make a reappearance “ You didn’t give him time to respond as you turned and exited his room quickly.

You made your way back downstairs and into the dining room where all eyes were suddenly on you. Remus looked at you with a questioning look but you just shook your head. You quickly sat back down next to George before speaking up.

“ He’ll be down in a moment “ and a few people smiled thinking that had meant you’d fixed your relationship with one another but George and Remus knew that wasn’t the case.

Sirius eventually came down and you avoided the glances thrown your way from him, Remus and George. They all tried reading you to grasp how you were feeling but you were much more focused on your conversation with Ginny.

Slowly but surely everything died down and people started heading up to bed. You promised Molly you’d clean everything up so she could have a break, She tried fighting with you on it but you were very stubborn something you seemed to have in common with Sirius.

Soon the only two people left were you and George. You could tell he was tired and were almost positive the only reason he stayed was to find out what had happened.

“ Go to bed Georgie.... I can tell that you’re tired “ you said as you stood up and began cleaning up, using magic to help.

“ not until you tell me what’s bothering you so much “ he responded sleepily

“ I don’t know what you’re talking about “ you muttered

“ (y/n) I’ve know you almost our whole lives.... I know when somethings wrong so please just talk to me “ he begged

You sighed before setting everything down, casting a cleaning spell and looking at him.

“ you wanna know what wrong George? I’ll tell you what’s wrong! I am so sick of coming second and never being enough for anyone! I’ve come second to Draco my entire life and now I get to come second to Harry! I asked him if he ever thought of me while he was locked away and why Harry was worth breaking out for and I wasn’t and he was SPEECHLESS! He couldn’t say ANYTHING! He couldn’t tell me that he loved me and that all he did was think of me while he was away and you wanna know why George? It’s because he doesn’t love me! At least not like he loves Harry and he couldn’t tell me he thought of me everyday because he DIDN’T! He thought of Harry! “ your tone was a lot harsher than you intended for it to be but you couldn’t be bothered to apologize.

“ Well then he’s an idiot! They all are! Anyone that could ever put you second is absolutely mad! You’re the most beautiful and wonderful person I’ve ever met and anyone that doesn’t want to love you or get to know you is so unbelievably stupid! There is no one in the world like you.... you’re one of a kind and everyone that looks past you or that puts you second is missing out on the best opportunity of their life! “ he explained

“ and what would that be? “ you asked

“ Getting to be loved by you.... I know this might not be the best time to say this but if I don’t say it now I don’t think I ever will. I love you (y/n)..... I love you so much it hurts! I’ve been such a coward all these years never being able to tell you but I love you! If it wasn’t so bloody late I’d be shouting it out loud for everyone to hear! I mean you’re magnificent! The most wonderful person I’ve ever met and I am so so lucky to have had you in my life all these years! You’re more than enough for me in fact I don’t think I’m quite enough for you! and the only time you’ll ever come second is when we’re married and have kids “ he said with certainty

“ you’ll always be enough for me Georgie “ was all you could manage to say

“ So.... a September wedding then? “ he joked

“ September? I was think an August wedding “ you joked back

“ I guess I’ll have to go buy a ring then “ he laughed

“ I guess I should probably tell you I love you too then because I do Georgie.... I love you so much I’ve just been to scared to do anything about it in fear of losing you “ you confessed

“ you could never lose me love.... unfortunately you’re stuck with me for eternity “

“ so.... married with kids? You must have our entire future planned out in that head of yours huh “

“ it’s like you said.... I’ll have the shop and you’ll be a professor! Then one day I’ll get down on one knee and the rest will be history “ he whispered

“ I wouldn’t want it any other way “ you whispered back

“ did I just witness a love confession, marriage proposal and promise of children!? Bloody hell let’s graduate first why don’t we “ Fred exclaimed as he made his way down the stairs and towards the two of you

“ you did say earlier if your mother had her way I’d already be married into the family so really we’re just doing her a favor “ you said

“ Oi would you three shut it! I get it you’re in love and blah blah blah but some of us are trying to sleep “ Ron exclaimed from the top of the stairs

“ Ron you say that as if we didn’t just stand at the top of the stairs listening to everything... “ Ginny spoke

“ Who’s been listening! “ you exclaimed

“ everyone “ Remus yelled down

“ Remus! “ you shouted

“ I expect George to ask me formally if he can marry my goddaughter when the time comes now goodnight everyone “ he said which caused you to let out a soft chuckle

“ I think you should ALL head to bed “ you laughed but then a sinking feeling set it

“ Freddie.... when Gin said everything did-“

“ yeah.... Sirius and Harry looked quite upset and Remus pretty much had to hold his tongue from saying anything nasty to Sirius “ Fred mumbled causing a frown to settle upon your face

“ This sucks “ you huffed before sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor.

Fred and George looked at one another before doing the same on either side of you. You smiled at both of them for a moment before looking down at the ground.

“ I don’t mean to make Harry feel bad I really don’t. It’s not his fault.... it’s just so hard when all Sirius cares about is him. I mean in ways I get it I really do.... he’s the child of his two best friends and he wants to love and protect Harry and make sure he knows he does in fact have a family and people that care about him but what about me? It sounds selfish to always be thinking what about me but I’m serious- “

“ no I’m Sirius “ a voice interrupted you causing you to look up and lock eyes with Sirius.

You wanted to be mad at him but you couldn’t help but laugh at the very poor and overused joke of his.

“ Well Freddie I say we head off to bed.... I’ll see you in the morning love and we’ll chat more about us “ George said before practically yanking Fred up and dragging him up the stairs.

Sirius made his way over to you and slid down the wall so he could sit next to you. There was an awkward silence, neither one of you really knowing what to say.

“ I did.... I did think about you and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I did. And I’m sorry for prioritizing Harry and overlooking you. All these years couldn’t have been easy on you and I guess I never really took a minute to recognize that. It’s been so long that sometimes I forget to acknowledge that he killed your mother the same night he killed James and Lily.... I often think if I had gotten there just a little while earlier James and I could have held him off long enough for your mother and Lily to take the two of you and get away but instead your mother rushed downstairs with James thinking they’d be able to hold him off.... stupid git left his wand in the bathroom and I don’t even want to think about- “ Sirius trailed off not wanting to say what happened next

“ I found you in Harry’s crib.... it was so hard to see everyone like that it really was.... then I was sent away never knowing if I’d ever see you again. I held onto hope I’d see both you and Harry again and over time I guess I began to prioritize him and that was unfair of me.... I should have tried harder for you. I should have loved you more and I should have come to you first not Harry. If you’ll let me I’d really like to try and make things up to you over the next few months.... try and be the father you deserve “

“ I would love that.... but that doesn’t mean you should stop doing things with Harry or think of him less. You need to balance it out because I do want to be a family and Harry’s apart of that family “ you mumbled

A large grin spread across Sirius’s face.

“ good good.... we’ll finally be a family “ he beamed before pulling you in for a side hug causing you to chuckle.

You then pulled away and stood up, extending a hand to help Sirius up.

“ I’m not that old “ he scoffed as he stood up on his own causing you to laugh.

“ I better get to bed.... I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow “ you sighed, dreading all that was to come in the next year. He just nodded and began following you upstairs.

Before you knew it you both stood outside of your rooms.

“ Goodnight (y/n) “

“ Goodnight dad “ you said, shocking him slightly

“ I love you “ he said sincerely

“ I love you too “ and with that you went into your room.

You made your way over to your bed and noticed George lying there half awake obviously waiting for you.

“ well hello there “ you laughed as you grabbed your pajamas

“ I figured I’d sneak in here and wait for you... to make sure you were okay and all “ he mumbled sleepily causing your heart to flutter

You quickly changed, not caring if George saw or not considering he’d changed you a time or two when you were too drunk after a famous Gryffindor party to do it yourself.

You sighed as you finally got into your bed, pulling the covers up as you moved closer to George. He got the hint and lifted his arm so you could move even closer and lay your head on his chest. He smiled at the sight of you cuddled up into him as he wrapped his arm around you.

“ I was meant to go back to my room love “ he laughed

“ I’ve decided that is in fact not allowed and that I will be holding you prisoner this evening... you make an excellent cuddle buddy Georgie “ He just laughed before pulling you closer. You sighed as you buried your head into his chest, inhaling his scent and finally feeling a moment of true peace and happiness. Soon the two of you drifted off to sleep, not a worry in your mind as the two of you found the utmost comfort in one another’s arms.

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