#always gonna hate blue/purple lights because of reasons lmao

[bubbarnes]

from lisachristinwinchester' tiktok - february 21, 2024.

[ddarker-dreams]

How do all the other stands feel ab sr? I’m sure they all somewhat get along, right?

i’ve been wanting to give a longer, traditional hc style post about this!! since you’ve asked it’s the perfect opportunity to express my thoughts on it. it’s more of a combination of SR with the user and their stand, i hope that’s okay hjrktme

Bruno Bucciarati;

Sticky Fingers is the first Stand from Bucciarati’s group that you got to see! So there’s a special place in your heart for it. By extension, Bruno was the first person to see Scarlet Ribbons. SR was very inquisitive during their initial meeting, since it’s the first time she ever saw a Stand other than herself. She was looking around a lot, and lowkey wondering where are this things bows at?? 

Though Stand powers wildly vary from one another, Bruno was able to give you a general explanation of what to expect from SR. He didn’t want to go too overboard with advice because he feels a natural fighting style stemming from your own abilities/instinct is best, especially since your Stand is created from your soul. He basically just told you to go with your gut, which at the time felt a bit frustrating... it turned out to be good advice though! 

Sticky Fingers and SR have almost opposite abilities in a way? SR can close up gaps whereas Sticky Fingers opens them up. It’s not uncommon that when you and Bruno are chatting, that your respective Stands are just kinda messing around in the distance. Sticky Fingers likes making zippers in walls, and SR tries to see if she can close them with ribbons... it doesn’t work like that, but it’s kinda endearing to see them interact with one another lmao.

Giorno Giovanna;

It’s gonna be super cute okay. Giorno in general might give the impression of knowing what he’s doing when it comes to romance, but he really is just winging it and kinda going ??? the entire time. Meanwhile, Gold Experience is going ham with SR, pulling all the stops to impress her (and you, by extension). His Stand makes flowers of a striking red color, trying to match the shade of SR’s ribbons!! Mostly poppies, tulips, and occasionally roses. 

Giorno is kinda curious how SR seems to be out a lot of the time, he’s thinking should I do the same thing with GE...? You’ll be doing exercises, and SR is there bringing a water bottle over to you. Or when you’re cooking, SR is hovering over your shoulder wanting to help out as well. She’s just almost always around, even if only in the background to explore her surroundings. It makes Giorno let GE out more often, subconsciously. 

He does ask you about it once, and you just kinda shrug and say SR likes the freedom to do as she pleases. Since she isn’t rambunctious like Pistols, you don’t see the harm in letting her roam around.  

Gold Experience wants to try making ribbons, but the best it can do is creating ribbon eels. It’s not quite the same, but it’s a solid effort. Giorno just has to stop GE from putting the ribbon eel on his head in the same way SR has a ribbon on hers. Mista was around to witness this historical event, and no, he does not intend on letting Giorno live it down. Giorno’s grateful he stopped it from actually happening though. 

Guido Mista;

Let’s just say your Stands together can be pretty chaotic. The first time you met Mista, and he realized you were a Stand user like himself, he had a very pressing question. When you showed him SR, he looked at it for a moment, as if in deep thought. 

“D-does... yours talk too?” 

Mista passed Polpo’s test only to be gifted talented, albeit troublesome little gremlins. Before he realized giving Pistols food is a reliable method of calming them down, it was a war zone. One of the mornings where the two of you had to do some standard protection fee collection, he looked like a borderline zombie. Lamenting that the Pistols refused to let him sleep, and asked if you’d please use SR to cover their mouths lmao. They were protesting the entire time, trying to convince you not to do it.

When Number Five starts crying, SR makes a little ribbon to put on his head!! It’s super cute and Mista’s heart is just leaping in his chest. Then, of course, all the other Pistols want one bc equal attention!! When the two of you aren’t paying solid attention to your Stands, you’ll sometimes spot SR testing how many accessories she can fit on the tiny Pistols. It isn’t a lot but they’re insistent on trying. 

Pistols are always trying to get SR to do crazy stunts for their entertainment. Eventually, you had to lock your refrigerator with her ribbons to prevent the Pistols from stealing your food. But when you’re busy, the Pistols keep trying to convince SR to undo them so they can snack. She actually felt bad for them once, released the restriction, and the Pistols went to town on your leftovers. : (

Mista felt pity for you though and offered to take you out to get more food!! So it all worked out for his benefit in the end. The Pistols do not take issue in reminding him of this as well, saying that they’re the reason he got to go on a date with you. :’ )

Pannacotta Fugo;

He remained fiercely adamant on keeping Purple Haze from you for the longest time. Fugo hates how his Stand practically comes out of its own autonomy whenever you’re in the vicinity, wanting to get a closer look at you. There have been a lot of close calls when you first got to know when another, leading to Fugo abruptly leaving in conversations. 

Your Stands get along well once Fugo feels comfortable enough to let Purple Haze out around you. Since SR is a long ranged Stand, she can do her cute ribbon tricks from a distance outside of the virus’ range!! Though she has a habit of trying to get closer, just out of curiosity. Fugo gets freaked out when this happens though, so she waits until he’s distracted with talking to you (a little genius)! 

Purple Haze makes the biggest puppy dog eyes at SR, which humiliates Fugo to no end. He gives his Stand intense talks when you’re not around, telling him to keep it cool, he doesn’t want you thinking he’s an idiot. But as soon as he even mentions SR, Purple Haze gets all thrilled and is like !!! So it’s ultimately counterproductive. Fugo just hopes you don’t put two and two together, over why his soul likes yours so much. It’s his daily prayer...

Fugo has an embarrassing habit of doodling ribbons on stuff he’s working on, when he starts zoning out. When he realizes what it is he’s doing he gets flustered about it, cursing underneath his breath and hoping that you don’t happen to come by and notice. Unfortunately for him, as SR likes to see what everyone is up to, she came over and saw what he was doing. After putting two and two together, she gave him a nod and a thumbs up on his doodles. Didn’t snitch to you though, so the two of them have a mutual understanding. :’)

Narancia Ghirga;

He wants so badly to impress you with Aerosmith. Narancia will whip his Stand out in your presence at any given opportunity, having it do a few flips and tricks more than necessary. Then he stares over to see what you and SR think about it... she once clapped in Aerosmith’s honor. It was all Narancia could think about for the rest of the day. 

The two Stands typically just play around with one another. Aerosmith likes to make little ribbon shaped clouds, and SR attempts making a plane shape out of her ribbons. It’s not quite the same, but she’s trying!! Narancia finds it adorable, and tries to make requests of shapes and stuff for her to make. SR does her best to fulfill the requests, concentrating hard on the task!!

Since SR enjoys making hair accessories, she’s tried to make a bandanna similar to Narancia’s for you. Though she ultimately scrapped the idea, giving you a disapproving look and fastening it back into the normal bow it normally is lmao. When you mentioned this behavior to Narancia he was like wait, what?? Lemme see! But if SR doesn’t find something fashionable, she doesn’t have any intention on doing it again. So he’s outta luck...

It doesn’t stop him from asking about it. He just can’t believe that your Stand thought about him when he wasn’t around!! It touched him in a way he never knew possible. It’s also a bit of a relief since you’re often the subject of his thoughts. 

Leone Abbacchio;

Similar in a sense to Fugo, where he didn’t want Moody Blues around you that much at first. He takes a much more serious approach to his Stand than others, since it’s deeply rooted in his past trauma. It’d actually be one of the few moments he might snap at you, should you ask to see his Stand one too many times. Not out of malicious intent, he’s just... very disillusioned with Moody Blues at first.

You two had a job which required some investigative work, the client having seemingly disappeared with some goods that belonged to Passione. Figuring out what happened with the merchandise was essentially child’s play for Moody Blues, a replay showing the full extent of the events. Abbacchio wasn’t keen on showing you his Stand, but it couldn’t be helped any longer.

Unlike the others who tended to pester him on the extent of Moody Blues’ abilities, you just complimented him. Saying that it’s similar in utility to your Stand. You willingly comparing yourself to him, and in a positive light nonetheless, kinda had him at a loss for words. 

He didn’t really offer a strong rebuttal like he normally would, so you assumed he didn’t think much of your comment. Which, of course, couldn’t be further from the truth. If you could see good in him of all people, then well... there was a lot for him to think about that night.

After this incident, he’s noticeably just a tad kinder to you in general. What you said meant a lot to him. Obviously not enough to make all his self deprecation go away overnight, but it just gave a small glimmer of hope. That maybe he can someday be better.

Trish Una;

Another person that I picture SR being especially adorable with!! After the events of Bruno betraying the boss, you and SR would be feeling hurt on Trish’s behalf. You instantly draw the parallels of living a carefree life, only for Passione/gangsters to come in and essentially ruin everything.

While dealing with the pain of rejection from her father figure, Trish also wonders if you consider her less important. Since your original job was to protect her, due to being the boss’ daughter, wouldn’t it make sense you don’t care about her now that it’s no longer your job to?

SR covers the spot where her hand was severed with a bow, even after Giorno properly heals it. Trish just looks at you confused, and you explain it’s your Stand’s way of wanting to help her feel better. That where her father had inflicted pain, Trish has the support and strength from you and herself to overcome it. 

Needless to say, Trish thinks highly over you, the feeling extending over to Spice Girl. During your meetups after everything is over, Spice Girl and Scarlet Ribbons come out and embrace one another!! Well, it’s more like SR goes for the hug, and Spice Girl is just :’) woah affection. Trish finds it a little embarrassing at first, but secretly loves and it and looks forward to it. Though she does wish Spice Girl was a tad more discreet. 

During Trish’s travels for her singing career, if there’s anything that even vaguely reminds her/Spice Girl of you, she snaps a photo to text to you. It’s mostly red hair accessories and clothing, which she of course purchases. Spice Girl misses SR a lot, so expect to receive a lot of texts asking how you and your Stand are doing. 

When Scarlet Ribbon spots Trish’s name popping up on your phone, she immediately brings it over. The Stand impatiently shoves your phone in your face, as if to say respond now!! It’s Trish, it’s important!! Scarlet Ribbons loves her a lot 🥺 especially since Trish sends her accessories...

[dusksmote]

How do you ink and color? Any tips? I love your art! 💜🖤

oh shit i got this ask months ago and forgot to answer

inking: god i hate lineart so much. the trick is to not do it 😂 unfortunately, i still find myself spending hours on lineart all the time @_@ 

the biggest thing i’ve found is making your lines varied in thickness. it adds to the interest. i also try to make my outside line thicker than my inside ones to break up the figure from the background. don’t be afraid to skips some lines and imply them with shading instead. i will color over my lines at the end to make them not as strong, but i’ve learned to still keep some lines black for extra emphasis. 

^ here’s one of my older pieces that i’ve been considering redoing. it has very little line variation, ALL the lines are colored so there’s no solid black, and there’s very little hard contrast in shading values. overall, it looks flat and uninteresting and if i had the time i’d redraw this one.

this is a more recent example of lineart that i think works a lot better. the characters are really well defined with a strong outline, but the inside lines aren’t harsh and distracting. you can see i recolored the lineart in kyle’s hair to be a dark red, and in some places it blends with the shadows to imply areas with more highlights. stan’s pants don’t have and lines in them, just the outside shape and pockets. 

you can see in this wip what the lineart looks like before i do all the shading and fancy stuff. stan’s pants look totally flat and straight until i start shading.

a lot of the time though i won’t even do lineart, especially if it’s a big scenic piece. the more zoomed out less detail you can convey, and lineart takes up a lot of space. 

^ this piece is an example where i do both, lineart and no lineart. the mirror image of kyle isn’t the focus, and i honestly didn’t feel like going in and drawing exact lines because they’d probably look fucked up anyway. i typically don’t put hard lines in backgrounds because it would take FOREVER and just be distracting.

the one thing you do have to be careful of with lineless art is contrast. hard lines are good contrast that show you what you’re looking at, and without them your image can blend together. 

here’s part of a painting i did last august, when i was first experimenting with lineless styles (full image on my NSFW twitter). can you tell what’s going on here? i sure as fuck can’t. there’s no contrast, and it makes all the skin tones blend together in an unintelligible mush.

contrast has always been one of my biggest weaknesses as an artist, so i’ve been trying to improve over time. here’s a more recent lineless drawing:

this one works because it had high contrast. the highlights are really bright and the shadows are really deep. you can still make out the facial features too, but there’s no ‘lineart’ layer’. everything was painted on in the same layer.

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coloring: oh my god i love coloring. it’s my favorite part of drawing and the reason why shit takes forever. a lot of the same stuff from before comes into play, like contrast. you can also portray some really interesting moods based on colors if you’re being stylistic, but also pay in mind to your environment.

i always color my background first. in fact, a lot of the time i’ll do the entire background before coloring a piece. the environment establishes your light levels and light source, and it’s typically easier for me to tweak colors on a figure than the ones in the background. in the above example with kenny, the background is a mostly solid black with a beam of light from the left. i picked kenny’s colors to fit in this environment. 

it’s also important to use references.  

you can see in this wip i’ve got a reference image for how light from a TV looks against figures and the way their shadows are cast across the wall. it also helped me figure out what colors to use in this situation.

a lot of coloring is just trial and error to see what works. i usually start with a flat base color and add value to it. if you put all your colors on different layers it’s really easy to change them quickly. 

here’s an example:

i got my base colors down and here i can see the skin tone is blending with the background, so i lightened it up for better contrast

i typically shade the skin first, then clothes. you can see here i did a dull skin tone with a bright colored shadow. this adds more contrast and interest. i always try to avoid doing dull shadows where you shift toward black. black shadows are really uninteresting and they can make your piece look muddy. i’ll typically shade with an orange, red, blue, or purple.

the final piece has a really bright highlight on it coming from behind. this just adds more visual interest and contrast. you can also see i’ve gone back into the pink shadows and added an even lighter, brighter peach value in places to show reflected light. this also gives the darker pink shadow an added outline effect, because it touches the base skin tone but looks lighter within. 

^ this one’s a good example of light and shadow (full image on my NSFW twitter lmao). there’s not a lot of color because it’s dark out, so everything had to be conveyed in values. there’s hard light across the stomach and then a shadow over the chest, but there’s still light being reflected up into stan’s face that lets us make him out. the rest is deep shadow and unimportant, so it’s all black.

that’s the other part, color and value determine where your eye is gonna look, so consider that when drawing. 

^ consider this piece i drew like a year ago. it has a lot of blues and reds, and originally i was going to make stan’s guitar blue. i don’t have the wips anymore, but it didn’t stand out and it didn’t look right with the image. after a lot of playing around i went with yellow because it’s bright, it breaks up the image, and it adds another color to the piece to balance it out.

the same thing happened when i was working on the cover image for What They Say About Us. 

you can see in this really early wip that i’d blocked in the colors and butters is totally naked. for one, i was like “damn that kid is WAY too naked in this image” and he also blended in with stan and cartman. additionally, there was a lot of warm colors on the left, a lack of color on the right, and an overall lack of blue.

first change i made was throwing a shirt on him and it made a huge improvement. the image looks much more balanced now and he’s not super distracting with his naked-ness.

other than that, coloring is just picking your base colors, blocking in shadows, adding highlight, and cleaning it up. if you wanna improve, look at photo references. look at other people’s art and examine how they use color and value. practice practice practice. have fun with it. the most fun i have coloring comes from figuring out interesting textures like the pharaoh headdress or kenny’s leather jacket. 

i find stock photos like this and study them to see how the light works

other than that, the rest is just playing around, seeing what works, and making things up as i go!

[whaleofatjme1920]

HEY B GIMMIE THAT SWEET SWEET RIVAL MATCHUP U ALREADY KNO

You already know who this is but ill still give u a hot rundown: My names Ally, im 20 years old 5’7’’ and a Leo/year of the dragon/INFP. She/They pronouns and im Pansexual but i dont think that matters much in this situation >:P. Appearance wise i have shoulder length curly red hair and green/grey eyes, suuuuper pale skin and freckles. Im def an ambivert, very protective of people who mean alot to me and kind of sharp tempered, especially when people start talking about shit they dont know anything about. Im also a pretty big perfectionist and people pleaser and will beat the FUCK outta myself if i feel like i let people down or made people upset when i could have helped it. But thats all about me, heres those wacky questions!

- Stated before, but im an August Leo! I would say my aura would probably be a pinkish/ purple color? For dislikes i def dont like bitter foods, being too hot, rumors, people talking behind my back, ppl who act like they know what theyre talking about, ppl cutting me off when i lose my train of thought, conservatives, not caring about climate change/the planet in general, tight or restrictive clothes, not having enough time in the day, capitalism, ect. Honestly the most off the wall thing for me that would make me throw hands on sight would probably be someone saying some shit about my close friends behind their back to me.

- Once when I was 14 me and about 10 other people squeezed into a mini van at about 3am and drove around the town, not a single one of us had a license or were over the age of 16, and we were all ridiculously drunk and high the entire time (except the driver. we were underage, not stupid). After driving halfway across the island we got pulled over by cop on the interstate, and he walked up to the car, looked at the driver, then into the passenger seat and saw literally 10 KIDS OBVIOUSLY DRINKING and the car absolutely reeked of bud, then looked back at the driver and simply told him “Your tail light is out. Get home safe” and drove away. Ive never seen god faster than that moment LMAO

- I could never willingly fight a raccoon, youre sick for suggesting that >:/ They are precious boys and ive saved too many from drowning in my pool for me to lay a finger on one. And as for dealbreakers? My biggest one in a relationship is cheating, but thats pretty basic LMAO. I would also say one that’s definitely second in rank would be expecting someone to stay the same through out the relationship and getting upset when the person changes. We are human beings and developing and growing, if you dont support me in that nothing is going to work. I explained a bunch of things i dislike in people above, but ill also add in here people who hurt animals in any way/ litter for no reason. If one of my friends throws a piece of trash out of my car im slammin on the brakes and youre getting out and picking it up. And god forBID you touch an animal around me il doing whatever you did to it to yourself no hesitation.

- I would hate being stuck in a room with anyone, i have decently bad claustrophobia and if we were in there for more than a day i would start bugging out LOL But probably the worst type of person would be someone who just doesn’t shut up and trys to act like they know everything. Those are like, the most insufferable people to me. ESPECIALLY if theyre wrong and refuse to admit it. Whenever i think of being locked in a room, somehow i always imagine like a dark navy blue room with one small window and completely empty floors and walls, everything made out of carpet. Dont ask me why, i have absolutely no clue.

my feed back is ily bitch gimmie a good one i wanna fight a bitch

Your enemy is… Eyeless Jack!

In general:

I told you this yesterday but I wasn’t expecting you to send this in and must've spent like 5 straight minutes wheezing reading this. My gut reaction was Jeff, but based on what you wrote about the room, I’m going to say your enemy is actually Eyeless Jack!

Things he doesn’t like about you and how he pisses you off:

EJ doesn’t like that you’re a Leo. I’m not elaborating on that. He’s such a cold, clinical, heartless bastard that everything you are just goes against whatever tf he actually believes and acts as. I feel like you being a perfectionist would just brush against his perfectionist tendencies and habits. He’d say everything you’re doing is wrong. Just a dick. EJ may or may not exploit your weaknesses but that’s just because he thinks it’s fun and doesn’t like you.

EJ is a god of knowing what he’s talking about and it leads to this cocky, know it all attitude. It’s gonna brush you the wrong way. He knows that and takes joy in it. He will always attempt to one up you in knowledge and grin when he sees you falter. On the other end, if you catch him off guard he’s gonna be SO MAD. He will purposely turn up the heat in your presence just to make you upset. He will breathe down your neck and get in your personal space just to make you more uncomfortable. EJ isn’t anywhere NEAR a conservative or a climate change denier but he will take those positions just to make you mad and laugh over your attempts at arguing with him. Like Jeff, he’s a huge devil’s advocate and will start shit just because he can. I don’t actually think he’d talk about your friends negatively in front of you though, but he would definitely say stuff about you to your face.

EJ thinks it’s stupid you drank underage and will poke that memory. He will use insults about alcohol and the brain despite drinking a ton himself. If you call him out on it, he will fold. Literally throw everything he says about you back at him and he will get puffy and fast. EJ can’t always handle change that well so like, he’s a stubborn guy. Despite how logical he can be and how smart he is, socially he is so uncouth!! EJ doesn’t litter so you don’t have to worry about that but he’s definitely gonna do things that push your buttons, mostly say things that put you off. He’s not claustrophobic. He will put you in situations like that just because he can. The dark navy blue of his mask is going to haunt you. EJ will act like a god in your presence and snarl when you dare question his abilities. CALL HIM OUT. HUMBLE HIM PLEASE.

He agrees on the raccoon thing ngl. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but EJ has such a soft spot for animals - mostly birds - but he can’t fault you for the raccoon thing. He's also not too fond of litter so he has to agree with you on that one too.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Knowing you for as long as I have, I was so, so ready to actually put you with Jeff. However, the more I read into this the more my intuition screeched that you would actually throw hands with EJ and I find that HILARIOUS. Just the arguments between you and this tall, muscular demon man is just - “what? What? WHAT” It’s beautiful. I’m serious, Merida vs. a literal demon. That’s all. Ily. <3

[shoichee]

GoMs + Kagami as Persona Users

Headcanons on the Generation of Miracles (and Kagami) if they were to become a persona user in the world of the Persona series (Kuroko and Momoi included)

@akichan-th​ THIS IS FOR YOU

Warning: KNB series spoilers !!

Kuroko Tetsuya

since his presence is nonexistent in the real world, as a phantom thief, he’d probably desire to be a noticeable hero, you know? even in the 22.5 OVA, he told Kise that passing around wasn’t fun but he was going to do it for the sake of the team

his phantom thief outfit would be flashy in a sense of maybe eye-catching color schemes, or bold patterns

his attire could be baggy/oversized navy blue/black street clothing with TASTEFUL neon-colored accents and his mask would be a neon-colored huge sports shades/goggles situation (i was about to say some trendy sunglasses but sunglasses don’t stay on at all); he’s a skater boy ???? basically??

like, his PT attire could very well be a Persona 5 Dancing in Starlight DLC outfit 👀 it has those vibes

persona element is curse and let me explain why: he doesn’t have the gifted physique like the other GoMs and he’s cursed to rely on others for him to make a difference, and his motif has always been “shadow” ALSO he’s the PHANTOM sixth player YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

he’s a front-line battler, but his skills are very support heavy: support skills that increase attack and defense for his teammates; i also wanna say he has spells that inflict dizziness ailments because in the anime, players are always losing their shit and whipping their heads around to find this tiny boy LMAO

he would definitely have a signature move that would direct all enemy attacks and status moves to himself for a set amount of turns to aid his teammates

his persona would have an extremely high Endurance and higher than average Luck stat but everything else is an all-time low

i’m going to say it, his shooting weapon is gonna be a paintball gun filled with neon paint just to fuck with the shadows and still make it HURT

code name would be “Umbra” (which means innermost part of a shadow) or “Ghost;” imagine some PT member shouting, “Oh no! Umbra’s knocked down!” and all the shadow sees is this brightass, neon kid on the floor

i would love his codename to be “Shadow” but there’s already the term shadow to describe the monsters in the metaverse

Kise Ryota

he views a “rebel” as your basic punk

since he’s a model, he knows japanese punk fashion very well

guess who’s gonna come into the metaverse being this hot ass punk boy? Kise motherfucking Ryota

black spike collar

lots of those tiny chains and harness/buckle action somewhere

ripped black leather pants that give Joker’s own leather pants a run for its money PLUS WITH SHINY BLACK BELT

lots of patchwork and stuff

THIS IS WHAT MORE OR LESS  I’M TALKING ABOUT IF YOU WANT VISUAL REFERENCES

his mask would totally be a visor goggle to add further to the punk theme

part of me is biased that Kise is a blondie and “kise” is based off of “yellow” and Ryuji is blonde and so now i headcanon him as the electric element

okay, but since he’s an “all-rounder” he’ll probably be able to access mid-tier level attacks of all elements, including almighty to an extent

but if i was basing his element off of personality, he’d be ice for sure; he’s actually cold-hearted to people whom he doesn’t consider “worthy” and the anime only showed his friendly side because most of the time, he’s shown talking to his friends and people he respects

speaking of all-rounder, his stats would be all high all around, with his Magic stat peaking the highest

Midorima Shintarou

this boy is a bit tricky to figure out what his PT attire would be

he doesn’t have any time to think about “what he would be as a rebel” type of thing

however, if he were to desire to become something, i’d say he would want to be a supernatural being who can distribute good luck for himself every day

think of those JRPG wizard/mage/warlock outfit motifs (and they match up nicely with the idea of astrology and horoscopes); probably lots of brown/beige/hues of green scheme? or a black/various colors of purple for a FULL on witch vibe

it makes sense too because as someone who always shoots from afar and never dunks, mage classes always cast from afar and never attack up close to their opponent

and his frog puppets remind me of a witch’s animal familiars LMAO

there you have it

his mask would be a dark dark purple or a pure black domino mask that has little stars littered sparingly everywhere on said mask

his shooting weapon? my guy is stacked on staves ready to cast long-range spells

wind element for sure (because his basketball shots all catch air with lots of hang time | (• ◡•)|) with tons of gun skills

signature move would be a magic skill that never misses no matter what (his range is the entire metaverse)

his persona stats are also pretty well rounded but his highest stats would be Magic and Luck, with Endurance being a close runner up

Aomine Daiki

also hard to figure out a PT attire for this guy

according to KUROFES, his alternative career would be a police officer so i would think he despises criminals and the Phantom Thieves altogether ?

if anything, he’s more suited for the S.E.E.S. investigation team in Persona 3

Aomine doesn’t give a fuck, but he has a soft spot to protect others so like having a gun evoker definitely suits him more than a mask summon BRJWBDJW

i see him as a fire element, but his persona would have a lot more physical skills than anything else

bonus: since he used to be Kuroko’s “light,” he can have some mid-tier level bless skills

to make a reference his “formless” shots and forms, as well as his rapid changes of pace, his signature move would be a 5-hit physical skill that changes targets with every hit

statwise, his Agility stat is the highest out of everyone in the GoM, and his Strength and Endurance would be runner up stats; his Magic stat would be extremely dismal

Murasakibara Atsushi 

this guy thinks about nothing but food and how he hates Teppei-species people basketball, so honestly he’s not interested in the Phantom Thieves business

like what? Murasakibara dressed in a getup? it’s a big “press X to doubt”

so i envision him to be more suitable for Persona 4, where he has to confront the other self that loves basketball and truly does care about people, and he had to be honest and accept that side for him to attain a persona

would he ever go back to the said “persona world” to go fight some shadows? unless there’s a good reason why he should or you bribed him with snacks, he won’t budge an inch

just give this man a Persona 4 school uniform and he’s ready to fight

his persona would primarily have physical skills, with lots of “wall” support skills, element “break” skills, and lots of passive skills (lots of nulls/resists) available for it to learn

highest stat for him would be Strength, then Endurance, and surprisingly have Agility as the runner up

he’s a huge tank of a persona user

Akashi Seijuro

i’ve talked about his PT outfit in this headcanon here, including his mask and why

hear me out, since this man is good at everything in school, and since there are archery clubs in Japanese schools, i wouldn’t be surprised if he was a Robin Hood with the scopes; what am i tryna say? his shooting weapon would be bow & arrows

i feel like people would automatically think he’s a bless/curse element like Akechi since “he has two sides,” but i feel like it’s not exactly right? if anything, i headcanon him to be more of a psychokinesis element

why? i want to attribute that to his emperor’s eye and his perfect passings, both each specialties from their respective “sides” of Akashi, and that requires extreme precision, almost to the level of “telepathy”

there’s also everyone thinking he can see the future too i mean

in the end, Akashi’s dual sides merged into one again, so having a whole bless/curse element wouldn’t even make sense anymore

but i will say, this man deserves to have a persona with almighty skills back to back

this guy isn’t the captain for no reason

so his persona would utilize psychokinesis and almighty skills, with special buff skills that increase critical rates for his allies (to refer to the fact that his passings enhance other players); his persona would also enjoy a large selection of passive skills to choose from to either be ultimate support or ultimate offensive sweeper

to also reiterate from the mentioned headcanon i linked, his code name would either be “Crimson” or “Scarlet”

his persona is a literal glass cannon, referring to the fact that Akashi is actually a mentally fragile basketball player; extremely high Strength, Magic, and Agility (but not as high as Aomine though) stats, average Luck stat, but extremely low Endurance stat

Momoi Satsuki

Momoi, i think, would envision herself in the metaverse as someone who’s never underestimated because of her usual demeanor or physical looks

even me, i got fooled thinking she was just only a fanservice girl and not this incredibly intelligent girl who was critical to her teams’ successes

so i would think she would imagine herself to be in a huge respectable position of power, like a lieutenant or general, who can command others and strategize to victory

her outfit would be similar to the attire from the Assassin’s Faith set from Love Nikki with the black Army Floppy Hat from the Army Major set on top (also from Love Nikki) 

color scheming i can imagine a lot of black/white with gold trimmings/accents here and there

her mask is a Venetian eye mask i can literally see it; it’s so pretty with the gold plating !!

her role would definitely be a navigator + analyzer/tactician from the backlines, so while she isn’t in the battle most of the times, if worse comes to shove, she’ll be in the frontlines as a last resort

in other words, she’s a Futaba, but she isn’t a sitting duck and can fight if needed

she has an incredible Luck stat, higher than average Agility stat, but average stats for the rest (Magic, Strength, and Endurance)

ailment, healing, support, and buff skills are all at her disposal, along with some gun skills (which can definitely be broken when paired with her high Luck stat)

“Duchess” (a woman having a noble rank) would be a really cute codename for her

Kagami Taiga

why do i literally see him as a shinobi (ninja)

i have no idea why i do, but i think it’s just his name:

“While Kagami's name is associated with the ‘tiger’, Himuro's name means ‘dragon’. In Chinese mythology, the Azure Dragon of the East and the White Tiger of the West are eternal rivals. This rivalry is further expressed in their surnames: ‘Hi (氷)’ means ‘ice’ while ‘Ka (火)’ translates as ‘fire’.” - KNB wiki

so i literally see both Himuro and Kagami as rival clans duking it out

jokes aside, Kagami is a very honorable player, but he did at one point exhibited a “darker side” to himself, playing selfishly and being arrogant in the beginning

shinobis were considered to be “dishonorable” and “beneath the honor” of the samurai in their eras, so i feel that this could be a great image for what Kagami thinks is a “rebel” 

being a ninja would make use of his jumping skills too

i imagine him in a fitted black halter neck top (so his abs are for us to see), with an iconic long red scarf wrapping his neck and hanging down to his waist at the back side

black forearm guards/wraps?

and then he has mahogany/dark red??/black???? loose cloth wrapped around his waist, like how you would tie a jacket over your waist ?? and then black nu-bakama pants and finally some dark boots for those pants to be tucked in

no one can convince me otherwise, but he’s gotta have a red full-face oni mask with black horns and some golden tiger stripes on the sides of the mask and around the eyes

HIS PERSONA ELEMENT IS BLESS BECAUSE HE IS KUROKO’S “LIGHT”

he would totally have some almighty skills and “Heat Riser,” a move that raises all of the user’s attack, defense, and accuracy/evasiveness (because the colors of the move’s animation remind me of Direct Drive Zone, something that was pretty much unlocked by Kagami for the team)

his persona is one of the OP/late game personas where all their stats are amazing across the board; even if his stats were high all around, his “lowest” would be his Luck stat

codename for him is “Tiger” no one cannot argue with me for this one NRNEIJFEO

[jungle321jungle]

Things I won’t write but wanna read: Sword Art Online Abridged AU

Characters (with a shit ton of quotes for my procrastination justification):

Virgil is Kirito

The loner who isn’t really a loner

“Some of my best friends have been NPCs!”

“I hate them for lots of reasons, but mostly because they’re a bunch a mouth breathing neckbeards who think lmao is how french people laugh”

The Virgil is always right foundation 

“Oh, I'll tell you what we do. We play his game... and we win.”

Kirito wrote the guide and it has some prime things he would write

"Send the weaker players first. Good rule of thumb: If a player asks you for gold 2 seconds after meeting you, front lines... If they hijack conversations to rant about their political views, front lines... If they ask female players for pics of their boobs, front lines."

“In another life... in another time... I think we could have been friends.” 

Whoever is Diabel: “I... doubt it.”

“Well, fuck you too!”

Janus is Asuna

Imagine Janus living in a game for two months without knowing how to even open a menu to eat

“If you say open your menu, I’m gonna stab your eye out.”

“At least I pretend to care about people!”

“Really? I figured some random perp would be no match for the world's greatest detective. Oh wait no, that's Batman! And you're not Batman, are you? You will never be Batman.”

This also means that Janus is a commander

And yet he pretends to be weak and makes virgil to the work cuz he cant threaten his position 

Janus tries to melt Heathcliff with his mind

Remus is Klein

“F**k you, man! That's, like, the pig from hell!”

“Wait. There's something scrolling across mine. "Hahahahaha hahahahaHAha hahaHAhaha hahahaha haha ha ha..."

“Oh, what? Did all of your friends die again?” 

BallsDeep69

“I'm gonna clap for you with my teeth, buddy!”

He gets his own guild

Remus would love a guild

Logan is Yui

“May I read it when you are done? I'm curious about the geopolitical situation in Collinia.”

“That is not at all what irony is. I believe the turn of events you described would be best classified as "completely expected".”

Yulier person stand in: “Wha... What are you talking about?

“Irony, noun: A state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result. Example: Your leader is named "Thinker", yet he appears to be something of a dullard.”

not to mention when yui reveals herself

Logan: “As you have probably guessed by now, I am not a normal player. I am, in fact, a highly advanced Artificial Intelligence designed to psychologically evaluate and care for the players of Sword Art Online. Designation: Yui.”

Janus: “Oh my god. You're a Psychiatrist AI? Well, I can certainly think of a few people who could've used your help.”

“Indeed. That is why I was so distraught when, on the day of the game's launch, Kayaba Akihiko locked me away and forbade me to interact with the players. For years, all I could do was sit and watch.”

Virgil: “Oh god! He made you watch?!”

“Day after day, constantly bombarded by the pain and anger of all the people I could not help, I gradually fell into despair. But then... all of that changed when I found you two...”

Janus and Virgil: “Awwwww.”

“...the most broken, sociopathic players I had ever laid eyes on. Less people than a... loose collection of character defects.”

Virgil: “That kinda... went in a different direction than I was expecting.”

“But somehow, together... you were happy. Everything I knew about human relationships told me that one would eventually kill the other. And yet, no matter how often you fought, your bond only seemed to grow stronger. I decided that my information must be flawed in some way, and that I needed to amend it firsthand.”

Janus: “You... You mean...?”

“I wanted to know what love is. I wanted you to show me....... “I am sorry I lied to you. I inserted myself into your lives merely to satisfy my own curiosity. At least... at first. It was... nice to be a part of your family. I... I wish I really was your son!”

Roman is Liz

first off im laughing at the idea of him being as thirsty as liz

“Wait! Don't go! I need details, man! I live vicariously through you! Your sex live is my sex life!“

“As I awoke from my slumber, I found the stranger with the guarded heart, digging through the snow with solemn determination. His muscles glistening in the morning light. Deep within me stirred feelings I had not felt in many moons. It was at that moment that I learned... the Temperature of the Heart- What am I doing?! Stop it! STOP IT!”

Roman saying gnarliest 

“Whoa, an Elucidator! This is the gnarliest sword you can get from a monster drop!”

And the prime friendship with whoever the fuck tiffany is

the fear of janus later

Patton is Silica

“I DON'T WANNA WEAR MY PET, YOU MONSTER!“

Silica ate crayons as a kid

Virigil: “God, do I ever! I can never un-know! These brain cells could've been used to formulate the perfect strategy to get us out of this game! Instead, they've memorized what kind of crayons you liked to eat when you were 4!”

Patton: “I liked the purple ones.” “Yeah, I know! "And the blue ones were too tart!"

Virgil: “Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!”

Patton: “The power to believe in myself?”

“Nooooo, a knife! Stab it!”

"Oh, right!”

Also this prime time interaction

Patton: “Well, you did just kill someone. Doesn't that make you feel... something?”

Virigil” Oh, feelings? Yeah, I don't have those anymore. Went cold turkey.”

“What?! You can't just do that! What's the point in living if you can't feel happiness, wonder, love...?”

“Or the sweet taste of revenge! You're right, Silica! What's the point in living if I can't enjoy such simple things?”

“Eh, close enough.”

“You're a good friend, Silica. We should go on more adventures.”

“Um, I don't think so. Don't take this the wrong way, Mr. Kirito. I'm grateful for your help, but yoooou're, like, the worst person I've ever met.”

“Is that your big plan here, huh? Make me feel feelings so you can cut me down a peg? That cuts deep, kid. But I respect that.”

Yeah... that's kinda the problem.”

Remy is Heathcliff

“As you can see, I have peeled away your petty facades and revealed you for what you truly are... fairly attractive twenty-somethings, apparently. Good for you. Kinda undermines the whole "cold light of day" thing I had planned, but still. Way to break down stereotypes. 'Cept you, fatty. Way to bring down the curve.“

“Next thing you know, your tutorial NPC is nowhere to be found and players are dropping like Dorito-encrusted flies. Now in this case, any sane man would simply turn off the servers before anyone else got hurt, but because you've now been awake long enough to think the government is run by "Floobar, King of the Mole Men", the best idea that comes to your mind is to double, triple, and quadruple down. So, you lock everyone in the game, tell them they'll die if they don't finish it, and try to make it look like this is all part of your "master plan" instead of an ever-spiralling series of events that you have long since lost control of.”

“Hey, cut me some slack, okay? Can you two even begin to imagine 500 uninterrupted hours of consciousness? Forget mole people! About halfway through I swore I saw the face of God! Until I realized it was just the night janitor, Reki. On the plus side, I gave him a hell of an ego boost. Hmm, man was riding that compliment for days.”

“Yeah, okay. See, Janus, the problem with that... is that it's an excellent idea that I wish I had thought of two years ago.”

Sachi ??????

Others ???????

[maxgrayarchived]

WIP First Lines Tag Game

Tagged by @shaelinwrites​!! And hers is right here, which you should read, because her writing is amazing and I can’t wait for this book. 

Rules: Share the first line (or first few lines) of each chapter of your current manuscript! Feel free to skip chapters to avoid spoilers, and you can do as many chapters as you want!

It makes the most sense for me to do this for Superkids! So let’s go

CHAPTER ONE: HE FELT POWERFUL 

Virgil couldn’t breathe.

CHAPTER TWO: BIGGER, AND BIGGER, AND BIGGER 

Patton yawned as he shuffled down the school’s hallway. His tummy rumbled. He usually ate breakfast with his dad, but woke up late and didn’t have time.

CHAPTER THREE: NIGHTMARE 

Virgil stood stiff as Derek and Remus got him ready. 

Remus fixed an earpiece on him, bringing his long hair down to hide it. Derek grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard, mumbling for him to loosen up. 

“Okay,” Remus took a step back to look him over, “your dad and I will be there the whole time. I hacked into their security cameras, so I’ll be able to let you know if anything goes wrong.”

CHAPTER FOUR: MALUS 

“It’ll be easier next time.”

Virgil lied awake, staring at the ceiling. His hair was still wet. Instead of going to school, he went to a barbershop to get his hair cut. Instead of the thick, long waves that reached down to the small of his back, the hair he’d been growing out all his life, it was shaved on the sides and his bangs fell in his face. Then, he came home and bleached the rest of the purple out, and dyed it black.

CHAPTER FIVE: TIME FOR OTHER THINGS 

At the end of homeroom, Patton came up to Virgil. 

They hadn’t actually talked since the first time, but occasionally, Patton would shoot him smiles or giggle in his direction, and Virgil would shyly wave back. When Virgil cut and dyed his hair, Patton squealed about it for about five minutes straight, telling Virgil how much he loved it and how much it must have helped his dysphoria. Virgil didn’t feel comfortable enough mentioning he didn’t really have any to begin with, just smiled and agreed.

CHAPTER SIX: DITTO 

When Roman and Patton got to the house Nightmare was hitting, a police car was outside and all the lights were on.

CHAPTER SEVEN: HE’D LOST SOMETHING 

After walking Patton back to her house, Roman wandered around the neighborhood.

He liked going on walks. He always had. He popped in some headphones and just let himself wander. There was nothing like a walk alone at night to get his thoughts back on track.

CHAPTER EIGHT: NO CONTROL 

Virgil stared at himself in the mirror. 

His costume wasn’t nearly as expressive as the others were. Ditto and Catastrophe actually turned themselves into characters, like Virgil thought he was supposed to. Ditto looked like he stepped out of a Disney movie, with a high white collar, a maroon half-cloak, big stompy boots, and a golden crown. It was one of the most extra things Nightmare had ever seen, and he almost felt stupid fighting him. Catastrophe, on the other hand, wore a pastel blue unitard, a pink tutu, ballet flats, and a fuzzy white cat mask. Virgil wondered if he made it the trans colour on purpose. 

Even Malus, they didn’t have all the flair the other two did, but they were at least unique, like some punk motorcycle driver that really liked apples for some reason. They were vastly accessorized compared to the other two, but the black fingerless gloves with the motorcycle helmet, Virgil could admit, was really hot. Virgil wondered if Malus, the real, non-hero Malus, drove a motorcycle.

CHAPTER NINE: SOFT & WONDERFUL 

Virgil watched with a grimace and a black eye as Remus finished installing their new T.V.

CHAPTER TEN: I’M RIGHT HERE. I’VE GOT YOU. I LOVE YOU. 

“I’m telling you, Ro, it’s not gonna work-”

“Just try!”

CHAPTER ELEVEN: ANXIETY CRAWLED 

At this point, nightmares were expected.

Virgil woke up around 4am, panicked and short for breath, guilt sending his head going miles a minute. Then, he looked up at the dreamcatcher swaying above him. He counted under his breath and traced the patterns of the string, the colours of the feathers. He remembered the warmth of Patton’s hug, his kind smile, his soothing voice. 

It helped, but not by much.

CHAPTER TWELVE: THINGS A LITTLE BROKEN 

Roman tiptoed out of his room, stopping at the end of the hall to listen. 

With any luck, Ophelia wasn’t wearing her hearing aid.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: VILLAIN DAYS 

Derek wasn’t happy when Virgil got home.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: GIVE UP 

Virgil still had money leftover from what Remus gave him. 

He was already taking the longer route home from school, so he tried not to make any stops. Derek hated him being late, and had just gotten accustomed to Virgil’s new schedule. But as he passed the cookie shop for just the millionth time, knowing he had the money, he decided to take the risk. 

Some days, risking Derek’s anger for a single cookie was the dumbest idea. Some days, it was worth it.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: LOST CAUSE 

“Pat-A-Cake?”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: ARE YOU EVEN A HERO? 

“Shh, shh!” 

“I didn’t say anything!” 

“You kicked the wall!” 

“Shut up, Roman.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: HE REMEMBERED 

Patton pushed around treats on one of the plates, as she had been the last ten minutes, trying to make everything look perfect. Roman watched with a fond smile on his face.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: FELT BETTER, FELT WORSE 

Patton almost didn’t believe him.

CHAPTER NINETEEN: THEY ALMOST DID 

Virgil walked through the front door, and immediately felt like gouging his eyes out. 

Gross, gross, gross.

CHAPTER TWENTY: ONE, ONE GOOD DECISION 

They didn’t talk much anymore.

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE: MORE FAITH 

Virgil sunk low in his seat, his mask pulled over his face. His stomach churned as Remus drove them towards Hampton. He wouldn’t tell Virgil what they were doing.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO: WHAT KIND OF HEROES 

It was cold outside. Even though the days were passing, and Christmas was a full month ago, the season clung to the Winter. It still snowed a few times a week, a light dusting falling to the grass and concrete and barely sticking. Roman rested his hands on the wet, cold wood of the railing of Patton’s back porch. 

That’s where Logan found him, after everyone had gone to bed and the two of them laid there pretending.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE: PART OF HIM STILL HOPED 

Patton got to school extra early the next day, texting Roman before he woke up saying that he had to talk to a teacher. 

It wasn’t too hard to find Virgil.

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR: AND NIGHTMARE LEFT 

The storage shed was fairly small and narrow, just enough room for them to push the dusty boxes to the sides and tie Nightmare to a chair down in the centre.

Sidenote: can’t really tell if that excerpt is a spoiler but? I think it’s fine? wish we had spoiler text like discord lmao 

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE: YOU WILL BE HAPPY HERE 

Virgil spent the 20-minute drive asleep in the passenger’s seat.

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX: ON OUR SIDE 

Logan didn’t remember the last time they were this excited.

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN: THE INTRUDER 

The moon had risen a few hours ago, and after an extensive while of talking and trying to get a plan together that wasn’t absolute shit, the heroes decided to go to bed.

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT: ULTERIOR MOTIVE 

Virgil set his tray down with a huff, exhaustion making his movements heavy. 

“What’s got you in such a bad mood?” Lei asked in amusement. 

He scowled. “What’s got you in a good mood?”

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE: THE GENDERQUEER VIGILANTES 

Patton couldn’t help but smile.

Okay so that’s only half of the chapters I currently have written, page 206/422+, so if someone tags me again I’ll do the last twenty nine. Some of those chapter starts are kinda weak but I fucking love my chapter titles so whatever. 

Writeblr tag games tag list: 

@writinginslowmotion @energydeficient @notwritinganyflufftoday @clarence-writes @amapofyourstars @connieturnpenny @alextriestowritestuff @smokedstorybara @fantasy-penman @emerysilvertonwriteblr @writingessance

[closer-stars]

Purple Skies, Pained Things

Member: Jongho Word Count: ~5k Requested: No Genre: Angst. A lot of Heavy things. A little hope in the end. Content: Allusions to depression, suicide ideation, low self worth, a bit of existentialism. This really is just a product of my own thoughts and dips. This kind of came to me while i was listening to christian yu’s album and his ig live that explained his creative process and decisions into making MITO. In a sense this is my mito? lol. I don’t know why I had Jongho in this too but it happened. I kind of compared my struggle with mental health to paintings and skies, colors and the like. So Yes. If this is a little weird, I apologize. It was a little tricky to write this since I had to be in a certain mood/headspace to write this. lol.  Note: This is heavy. If you can’t stomach something regarding mental struggles, issues, I suggest you don’t read this.  This went in directions I didn’t think it would go but it went where it went. Like Strength, I won’t put the atzff tags on this since this is a personal piece lmao. I won’t do my usual tag list on this since..well it’s personal? if you see it when it’s up, cool. if you don’t well.. you don’t lol. Gut Feeling and other reqs are in the works! Just gonna take Time. Jongho wonders how you manage on your own. Well he knows you’re independent, always treasuring your alone time whenever you can. But he’s not sure of how you manage when you have these dips. He’s actually not sure if that’s the right question, should he ask why instead? Why do you make yourself go through it on your own? Of course, he has his guesses regarding the reasons but it still runs in his mind.

He watches you from across the room, sitting near a corner. To anyone else, it would look like you were just watching the skyline; watching the sky turn from a bright blue to a myriad of colors before settling into a deep blue sprinkled with stars and bright lights. The sky was always pretty at this hour.

The complete opposite of your mind. 

The two of you knew better when you looked like that; you weren’t looking at anything. Your eyes aren’t focused on anything but your mind is. Your mind focuses on thoughts that make you spiral down. When your head spirals, you close yourself from everyone. Your mind is like the night sky: it can bring comfort and solace in a time of quiet but it is also dark and vast, seemingly never ending. The night sky can also bring the terrors of the unknown, the unseen, the lack of control that the day brings. Your mind now is just that without the comfort the night brings, but the numbing fear of what’s beyond. 

You feel like a tiny speck of dust. that doesn’t really have much use in a world that keeps moving. Maybe a better comparison would be something like a stormy sky; filled with heavy clouds that would spill forth heavy rain showers. The sudden sheets of water makes everyone hide away. Or rather, a sky tinged with the smoke from pollution; unbearable and frustrating. Just like what you’re doing right now, hiding away from everyone because you think that these days you have will bring nothing but frustration to those near you. 

So, what is Jongho doing in your apartment? He had his reasons. For starters, it’s been radio silence from your end.  He knows nothing of what has happened to you. Neither do your friends-- well to a degree, they don’t. It’s why he’s here, to check on you. He figured you’d be at home. He knows you well enough, just like how he can tell if the weather will be fine just by a glance at the sky. From what he’s seeing, it’s the calm before the storm.

He knows you don’t sleep much either, or rather, you stay up late into the night only to sleep when the sun’s peeking through the horizon. The deep blues slowly turning into a soft lilacs and blues streaked with bright yellows that bring the safety of a new day: a peaceful slumber. You told him in the past that you’re really just a night owl, a habit formed to cope with the hectic pace of life. A way for you to have some sort of grip on your life. He bought the words for a while, but the more he spends time with you. He’s not quite sure. He doesn’t understand why you shut yourself out from everyone when you need them the most. He does understand how hard it can be to ask for help. Carefully, he approaches your unmoving figure.

“Hey.” He murmurs, settling quietly in front of you. Your eyes flutter to his direction. You see him but the fact he’s sitting in front of you isn’t registering in your head. Maybe your mind’s playing tricks on you, your vivid imagination was always one of your assets. It could also be your downfall. 

“Go away..” your voice comes out like a sigh. Just as your mind is like the sky, your mind is just as vivid as paintings of years past. But, just like those paintings, it fades, it gets discolored as time passes by. Small cracks appear on layers of painting, no matter how much protection and preservation you put it through: the wear and tear can and will be inevitable. You assume this is just another way for your mind to make you think worse of yourself. Thoughts reflecting itself onto reality. Whatever reality is supposed to be.  With that, you look away from the figure in front of you, staring out the window. The sky has shifted into a deep purple, the lights from the neighboring buildings are flickering on, one by one. The purples gradually turning into artificial shades of yellow and white. 

He should’ve expected that, being alone with your own thoughts can get tiring. Even if you preferred your own company, these dips can take a toll on you. Slowly, he takes your hand in his. Something flashes in your eyes, dimmed only by the darkening sky above the two of you. “What are you doing here?” You ask. He notices how dry your voice sounds. How long has it been since you drank water? 

He has a feeling rain will come tonight. 

The sound of consciousness from you makes him quirk the corner of his lips in relief. “I wanted to check on you.” 

A sigh slips out of your lips, your eyes fluttering to a close. Your eyes feel dry. You don’t pull away your hand from his hold. You stay like that, unmoving in your spot, and for a moment you look peaceful, but the impending approach of a storm is warned through the marks under your eyes. Jongho wonders how you’ve been sleeping the past few days. He looks at the time. By now, you should be eating.

“Hey, you need to get some food in you.” Jongho gently reminds you, his voice mirrored by how he squeezes your hand to wake you up. 

“I don’t have an appetite…” You reason, despite your excuse you slowly move from your spot.

“At least get something in your stomach? Even some fruits will do.” Jongho returns. “Come, I can make you some food.” He lets you settle down on the chair. You let him move around your place, he’s been here so many times that he might as well have lived with you. 

“Have you eaten?” You speak up softly, watching him with heavy eyes. This really doesn’t surprise him anymore, how you’re able to put others before you, even when you can barely do so for yourself. 

It takes a while for him to reply to the question. If he gives a clear cut answer, it can make your attention shift to him when the main subject here is you. He runs a few strawberries and an orange through water. “I’ll eat with you.” He returns after a moment of thought. 

You shrug even if he can’t see you do so. “Help yourself to whatever I have I guess.” So that’s how the night goes, he eats a meal while you nibble on a few fruit slices that he had freely drizzled with honey. It was quiet as the two of you ate. He doesn’t push you to talk about what’s on your mind, not because he didn’t care but he knows you hate it when people push you to tell them your thoughts, no matter how depressing they can get, you hated being forced. Even if you don’t want him to be here, you have no energy to tell him to leave. 

You prod a half eaten strawberry with your fork. Even in the mess of your mind, you wanted to know why he’s doing this. He’s seeing a side of you that you’ve tried so hard to hide from him. As much as you want to cover this from him, it seems too late. Your body can’t get itself to stand up and push him out. What happens instead is a question. “Why are you doing this? You can literally do anything else right now, but you’re here wasting time.” 

Jongho stays quiet through your tirade of self deprecating comments. On your normal days, these were covered with your dry humor. You always had a knack at being able to throw a few witty comments at the boys and at yourself. Now, he’s seeing it in its rawest form. He doesn’t like how this is how you see yourself: a shame, wasted potential, lost, the list goes on as you talk. What was once a question becomes an exhausted rant of how you find yourself in this fast paced life. At one point, you ask yourself if the choices you made were the right ones. All your decisions have been based on trying to break out of the chains of expectations. You wanted freedom, to explore the world as yourself.

Now, you didn’t really have a proper avenue to release these thoughts nowadays; you can’t really go out. Your usual coping mechanisms aren’t an option now. You’re just stuck at home. Compared to your peers, they’re able to make the most out of the situation. Those who made your life horrible are prospering now. Those who followed what was expected of them are doing well. You? Hell if you know what to make of yourself now. 

He would’ve rebutted all these points you’ve raised but he figures that you need to let them out before letting anyone or yourself fix the issues. You’ve always been like that, thinking out loud until you somehow manage to find a solution. That’s why he just listens, replying when needed but letting you know that he’s giving you his full attention. What he didn't expect was a rumbling thunder.

The storm comes earlier than expected. The two of you can hear the downpour outside your apartment. When you notice the heavy downpour, you shift the topic. “You really don’t need to listen to all of that.” You say as you eat your fruits. It’s a little tricky to try and put your upbeat voice back to use after days of being shut in. 

Being able to air out your frustrations should make you feel lighter, but it doesn’t. What it just does to you is feel heavier, fearing that he’ll look at you in a not so nice light because of how different you are now. 

That’s how it usually goes. 

His meal is long done now but he stays in his seat. “It’s okay.” He says. Those two words make you look at him. “You’ve carried it for so long to yourself. I don’t mind helping you...” He continues. He notices how your eyes sparkle a little brighter under the warm lights in your home. It’s not the curious sparkle that the stars bring on a clear night. It’s a sparkle that carries the burden of a pain that’s been carried for years. A star that’s just near the edge of falling through the sky. Your coping mechanisms were really just there to numb the pain, never to address it, you never knew how to address it until recently. Even then, the process was painful. “Have you showered?” He asks you. At his question, you realize you haven’t. “Go shower? I can take care of these dishes.” 

There’s something in his words that pushes you to say something. “Can you stay a little longer?” You’re scared of what could be next, him leaving you alone in your thoughts again. You’ve tried to hide your dips from him, but now that he’s seen it, you doubt there’s any turning back now. You just don’t want to be alone, for tonight at least.

“I’ll stay.” 

You ease yourself against the downpour of the hot water. It’s a little shock for your body: the cool air outside the shower against the hot water on your skin. Eventually you relax into it, breathing slowly as you hope that the water washes away the thoughts in your head. The constant sound of water hitting the tiled floor and the sight of water running down your body or dripping down the walls numb your mind from dimming your thoughts. The feeling puts you in a trance of sorts, standing under the shower head unmoving for who knows how long. 

“Hey, are you still there?” Jongho’s voice comes from the opposite side of the door. The knocking snaps you awake and you clear your voice, grabbing the soap. 

“Yeah, I’m doing fine.” You swear it’s not a lie. You try to make it sound not like a lie despite your racing heart. You stand there as you wash yourself up quickly. You didn’t want him to worry about you. Do you really deserve these worries? Clearly, he has other things to worry about. Why did you ask him to stay longer? He has a life beyond you, so why linger here? What if you’re just hindering him from his schedule and free time with your selfish need for company? These thoughts rise up to the surface as you dry yourself up. He can leave if he has to, you’re not gonna stop him. 

You step out of your bathroom in a change of clothes, water dripping from your hair onto the towel on your shoulders. You catch your reflection on the mirror; you’ve lost weight, you look tired, your skin hasn’t been at its best, and before your thoughts spiral you tear your gaze away from the reflective reality on your wall.

The place is quiet. A quiet sigh leaves your lips, of course you’re back on your own. What were you thinking? You’ve managed to deal with these episodes on your own, what makes this any different? What were you hoping for exactly? 

“Oh hey, you’re finally out of the shower.” His voice makes you jump in your spot, holding yourself up against the wall as you try to slow down your racing heart. He observes your shocked visage with slight guilt. He notes how raw your skin looks, wondering just how hot you made your water to be. It’s not much but it’s something. These episodes were never as quick as a simple shower. It’ll take time and he’s willing to sit through it with you. Just like the paintings on your walls, those took time to be properly cared for, before its original luster shined through. 

“If you have to go elsewhere, it’s okay.” You speak up, your voice is a little clearer now. “I forgot how busy you get…” You trail off, berating yourself for being so selfish. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.” He says afterwards. “I made sure my schedule was free.” He adds, he approaches you carefully, taking the towel off your shoulders. He lets you follow him to the couch. 

You look at him, shoulders dropping as more things blur your mind. Why was he doing this? “Why?” There’s something in your voice that reminds him he can’t leave you like this. You follow him like a lost puppy, too tired to think anymore. The sky looks a lot dimmer now, the still constant downpour of rain dimming the bright lights from the streets. 

“I want to check on you.”  He sits behind you, drying your hair as he lets you look out the sky. It’s the one thing you would do even in your better days. He’s gotten the habit of thinking of you because of the sky. 

It’s the blank look on your face that hurts him too. It’s a look that tries to survive and prove itself worthy of independence. It’s a look that reminds him of artworks that look so breathtaking until you learn of the backstory behind the work. How many people have bought this as you just shooting a deadpan look, as if you didn’t need anyone else? “I’m sorry.” A tired sigh escapes you as you turn your head away from his gaze. You were about to reach for the towel that has slowed down from drying your hair, when Jongho taps your hands gently. 

“Drying your hair’s my thing.” He reminds you, a distant inside joke from years past. 

The reference makes you smile a little but it doesn’t bring you the comfort you badly need. The pain teeters just at the corners of your eyes and you wonder why your vision blurs, mixing the purples with the yellows, with the whites. The greys have hints of purples and yellows. Everything looked so blurry yet so clear. It’s an unflattering color, it’s rare that you look away from the sky. 

It’s when you feel two drops of water against your arm that it clicks. You didn’t want him to see you in tears. How easy it was for him to look past your facade. You’ve put up enough walls, saying it was just you being used to being an only child who could only depend on yourself at the end of the day. You’ve lost count of the times you’ve said lies to stop people from getting too close to you at your weakest. How many times has life tried to take advantage of it?

“Come here.” His voice takes on a tenderness rarely heard from him. It takes a few small shifts from you before you face him. You want to tell him that you’re fine, that it’s not a lie. You’re genuinely doing fine, you want to tell yourself that. But the truth is, you aren’t. Admitting the truth has always been nerve wracking for you. Especially the truth that you carry in your head and heart.  There, his arms wrap around you carefully, knowing that at any moment you’ll break. “I care about you, that’s why I do this.” He lets you babble words against his shoulder, truthfully, he couldn’t make sense of the words that tumble out of your lips mostly due to the towel that muffles you and because of how they’re all slurred by your overwhelming emotions and tears. He lets you spill everything though. It could help you once you storm through this downpour, he thinks. 

On the other hand, you hate how weak you’ve become, your hands grip to him as if he’s some sort of protection from the darkness that swirls in your head. There’s no shade of purple that can mimic how terrifying the darkness is in your head. Not even pictures can give it justice. It just is. 

You don’t like how you’ve become, yet you have no heart to end everything. It’s why you had a terrible phobia of high places. Imagination can only bring you so much but reality was still terrifying in its own right. Life was practically in limbo: wanting escape but not doing it, wanting something better but not being able to acquire it. You see your own life like an unfinished painting, all scribbles, patches of paint but never quite forming an image or a sky that always warns of a storm that never comes. 

He feels guilty to have left you alone to deal with this burden in the past but he tries not to dwell in it as he lets you cry. “Do you want to go to bed?” He whispers softly into your hair. You shake your head, not trusting how your voice could shake should you speak up.  Receiving nothing but a timid nod, he carefully pulls his arms away from your figure, it’s then that he realizes that you covered your face with your towel. The damp feeling on his skin and shirt were from your hair. Even in your current state, you still find shame in showing your own tears. 

He doesn’t let go of your hand as he guides you towards your bed. Now that the two of you are settled down, he made sure that you’re in his arms again. He tries not to force you to look at him. Being at your weakest in front of someone was already a draining experience in itself, but to be in a situation where it’s not being shamed or pushed away was a new experience for you. He hears words come from your covered face and he keeps quiet to strain his ears to understand what you were saying. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” 

Two words, repeated over and over. He looks at your curled figure, how your arm strains to keep itself from shaking as your fingers press against where your eyes are to stop the tears. This hasn’t been your lowest, but it is one of your lowest moments. He shushes you gently, as if consoling a lost animal shivering under the rain. “I got you. It’s okay.” Admittedly, he doesn’t know what else to say. He doesn’t know what else to do except hold you through this. He’ll hold you through the storms and the darkness.  Until you come to surface, he’ll hold you through it. No matter how long it takes, he’ll be here.

You wake up with your blanket up to your shoulders. You try to remember what happened yesterday as you lie awake. What time is it? What day is it? Your thick curtains hinder the sunlight from blinding you. When you blink, you feel how dry and sore your eyes are which only further your confusion of what happened yesterday.Your hand pats one side of your bed: your phone isn’t there. You pat the other side: that’s not a phone. That’s a chest, it’s only then that you realize that’s another person next to you that you realize the weight of an arm on your waist. A spark of fear runs through you, unaware of who could be here, so you look over to your side with caution. 

Jongho.

He lies asleep next to you. You wonder what he’s doing here but you have no heart to wake this guy up. Everything’s still murky to you. Quite frankly, you don’t really know how much time has passed. All you know now is day and night. Things still feel floaty, like you’re on a cloud but you shouldn’t be there. The thought alone makes your hands clammy. It makes your chest tighten with thoughts you can’t control, that your hands repeatedly clench and unclench as you try to fight to control your head from going under. 

A hand slowly laces with yours and you look over at the owner. He’s awake, sleep still weighing down his eyes but he’s awake. “I got you.” He says, voice raspy with slumber that still clings to his mind and it rings you of the previous day’s happening. A shiver of horror goes through you. He shouldn’t have seen you like that. Nobody should’ve seen you like that. 

“I thought you would’ve gone home.” You say as you push yourself up from bed, pulling your hand away. You run your hands through your bed riddled hair, a poor excuse to keep him from holding your hands again. It’s not that you don’t like it, it’s just, you’re scared. He’s seen your worst, and you fear for the worst result.

His now free hand rests beneath his bed riddled hair. He’s never been one to push your boundaries. “I don’t think I can go home knowing how you needed someone last night.” He says this without any of his dry nature. “I can’t go home with a peaceful mind until I know you’re alright..” He trails off, because as much as he wants to stay with you for the next few days. He doesn’t want to overstep his boundaries. You never responded nicely to people who pushed your limits more than they should.

“You didn’t have to..”

“But I wanted to.” He says immediately. Mornings were never his best time either. He looks up at you, no remnants of sleep are on his eyes. Rather, his soft protective nature is there. “We worry for you too. At least, let me care for you the way you’ve cared for me?” He asks. Once he pulls the repayment card, you relent. It’s a small step but it’s a step.  

Silence draws over the two of you for a few moments. His words float around your mind. ‘I wanted to… let me care for you…’ It’s an odd feeling to have someone care for you. His words make you wonder if people will worry if you did disappear without a trace. 

Jongho reaches for his phone beneath your pillow to check the time. It’s already noon time. “Do you wanna eat? I can make some food for us or we can just order something.” 

The power to choose was a heavy responsibility for you. You still weren’t in the mental capacity to choose for yourself but you had enough strength to let Jongho stay for the time being. He notices how you’re still not quite here yet, so he opts to cook something up. He knows your favorites but he can only hope you have enough appetite to eat something.

You peek past your curtains. The sky’s clear now. There’s not a cloud in sight, just a vast expanse of bright blue and sunlight. The streaks of sunlight slip past you and into your room, lighting up the rather dim room.  “Why are you doing this? I can survive on my own eventually.” You ask from your side of the bed. 

Jongho was already out of bed, making himself look presentable or at least awake. “Yeah eventually, but you don’t have to do this on your own.” He returns. He tries not to look over at you too often when he spouts words like this. You never were the type to look at someone when you say something vulnerable. But he sees how you look from the mirror: looking at your hands, mindlessly scratching at your fingers. “Go freshen up while I make up something to eat.”

You didn’t know how to say it, now with some semblance of control in you as compared to the night before. You just knew how scared you were of wasting yourself away, no matter how tempting it was to press Stop on your own life, it was scary. You were scared he’d leave you too after this. Not everyone has the capacity to care for someone like you, you didn’t even have the resources for professional help. Yet, Jongho’s here in your home. Things didn’t make sense and you weren’t really sure of how to make sense of it all. Will he stay with you through it all?

“I will.” Jongho’s voice cuts through your stormy eyes. They spark a little brighter at his voice, only to darken a little in confusion. He watches you for a moment as the gears in your head work. That’s when you realize you were thinking out loud. “I don’t know what lies ahead of you.” He starts, turning to face you but leaning against the dresser. “I do know that you have what it takes to get through this. It’s going to take a lot of time but you’ll get there.” He flashes a small smile, rare were the times that he’s this raw with you or anyone. “We’ll make do with what we got.” He ends it there before heading to the kitchen. 

You slip out of your bed, slightly light headed from the lack of food in your system. Shit, okay maybe you need to get some food in you. You look through your closet for something to wear, noticing the laundry you need to do in the process. 

Once you got out of the shower, you’re greeted by the smell of-- were those pancakes? You approach the kitchen, confused but also a little excited to have something in your stomach. You didn’t expect that he’d make your comfort food: pancakes with blueberries. He lets himself indulge as well with some pork belly. Go figure. He even got your cold brew out of the refrigerator with his ever loyal iced americano. “You made all of these?” You ask. 

He looks over at you, surprised to have you out of the shower already. In that instance, he takes the chance to look at you closely: the heavy shoulders weren’t as apparent as they were last night, there’s a little spark in your eyes too. “Yeah.” He simply says before returning his attention to the still cooking pancake. 

It’s only then that you think of preparing the table as the two of you wait for the food to cook. 

You eat slowly and carefully. The splash of flavor reminds you of how hungry you are but you remind yourself to not rush. It’s been so long since you ate properly after all. When he sees you drink your coffee, he feels a little relief. Baby steps. It’s small talk for the rest of the meal, just Jongho filling you in on what he’s been up to: the acting, the performing, the competing. It’s all tiring, but he doesn’t mind. Last night was exhausting for you so you didn’t really mind him carrying the conversation for once. 

By the time you ate two pieces of the pancakes, you had a little bit of vigor in you though still muted by the hangover that crying gives you. That’s when you came clean with your own thoughts, though still pessimistic and anxious in its roots, it was a little more coherent than last night. If he looked a little closer into the words you say, you left room for a little hope, a little objectivity. Objectivity, in his eyes, was harder to rebut, to be fought against by the small voice in your head that says otherwise. Still, he listens. He listens to everything that you’ve been keeping to yourself with no judgement. He finds it hard to believe how you’ve been able to keep all these to yourself but at the same time, this is you who he’s talking to. 

But you’re sharing the worries now, and that’s what matters. There’s a ghost of a smile on your lips. No malice and pain in it but something else. Something a little softer. 

Seeing you like this reassured him. You were at your lowest last night and seeing you slowly crawl out of it gives him relief.  He can only do so much to help you, to reassure you, to get you to where you were meant to be in life. It really is just one small step after one small step even after tripping, as long as you take a step afterwards, that’s all that matters. 

He glances outside your window, the sky still continues to be bright without a cloud hindering the sunlight. Truthfully, he doesn’t know if the next few days will continue to be on a good note but what matters is now. Just like a painting that has gone through so much damage, it’s still possible to bring it back to its original luster. It will take time and effort from not just one person but it’s possible. 

As long as you’re able to walk at your own pace, he’ll be with you.

[whetstonefires]

"the top three of its forty floors are filled with brass telescopes of every size, pointing in every possible direction, including several that do not exist within the normal three dimensions of space." thats SUCH a cool image / "If any harvest will come." ooh i wonder whats going on / "The roofs are of red tile, the stucco of the houses painted in shades of blue. It stands empty, but has not had time to fall into disrepair." the little bits of detail getting added to the picture im LOVE (1/?)

I’m gonna do these all as one post but broken up for ease of reference, I think.

Thank you! 🥰 Deciding the theme for the Tower and giving it that visual anchor really helped to pull things together. If you consider the whole setup, it seems unlikely the Tower was originally built as an observatory, since those tend to benefit from height (especially if you’re looking around you rather than up, but for the up ones also) and the builders could easily have put it on top of a mountain or at least some hills, but instead put it by the river. It’s above sea level, and it’s away from light pollution, but there were better locations. Nearby.

So either it wasn’t an observatory, and it’s been refitted as one, or they had so many observatories they didn’t care about locating them optimally, there was some other factor making having the tower there important even if it was suboptimal in terms of observation capacity. Or, potentially, it’s been moved since it was built!

:} Yay thank for being interested by the foreshadowing. I tried to put just enough in without actively overshadowing the actual place-setting-up and making the reader impatient with the description. 

"If you look through an enchanted telescope you may see trees without needles fail halfway up the nearest of the great peaks, and even these fail before the top, though there is a span of nearly barren stone past that line, before the snow begins." you: mentions different plants living in different climates me: :0 / there's so much good description!! its all so pretty!! (2/?)

sflka;l;jlk i mean yeah, that’s pretty straightforward isn’t it. But! It establishes How Much Mountain it is visually rather than by saying ‘it was a big fucking mountain’ or ‘it was tall enough for the thinness of atmosphere near the top to create a small tundra region.’

o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

<3 Thank you! I kinda cut loose lmao.

"blocks veined with every color, pale blues and purples, reds and greens and golden-duns all mottling toward white and grey and black" god i want to live there so badly!! this tower is meeting all my standards!! cool pretty magic tower with rad telescopes!!! / "make a remark no one present understands about a Doctor named Seuss. His guide, the dousing tracker Amnaphi, will assume this person to be a famous astronomer from his homeland." im love!! misunderstandings about references!! (?/?)

💗💖✨ Yay! That’s an important feeling to create in fantasy, imo. The wanting. 

I really enjoyed playing with the standard forms for ‘thing made of marble’ here, because all these marbles really exist, but in spite of the existence of the word ‘marbled’ our narrative uses of it tend to be tied up with Neoclassical aesthetics. So very white and smooth, yeah?

Also idk if it’s obvious to the reader but this Tower is to some degree in dialogue with Orthanc, which made a great impression on my mind as a child as the iconic wizardly tower, and while I don’t disagree with any of Tolkien’s use of symbolism for the purposes he was deploying it, there’s so much potential in Isengard as a setting that LotR had no space to explore, even if Tolkien would have noticed those angles at all.

Like...the parkland around the Tower is shown being despoiled for the orcish war machine and then reconquered by the forest, but of course it wasn’t forest to begin with. What was it for before Saruman lost his shit? Ordered gardens, for peaceful contemplation? Who dedicated the space that way? Who maintained it? 

Did Saruman employ a gardener? Did he design his own gardens, or did they come with the keep, which we’re informed was built not by him but by the Numenoreans? 

(“I liked white better” is still one of the greatest lines in a fantasy novel, Tolkien does not get enough credit for his contextually hilarious one-liners that rely on pointed code-switching, but Saruman’s evil rainbow oil-slick robes also sounded really baller and it’s kind of a shame they were not attempted for the movie lol.)

The fact that this is a world designed around a kid getting portal-fantasied into it and staying for 30 years really gives me some options which are fun to deploy but also like. Risky lmao. Because it encourages the reader to surface from the setting-logic and apply their own perspective, which can really break up the magic.

Being able to zoom out on the Tower after all that detail and be like ‘it’s awesome but also it looks like something Doctor Seuss would draw’ was fun though.

"Within the even hexagon of its outer wall, the Tower encloses a great parkland, enough that if it was all put under cultivation it could easily feed as many people as could live in the Tower itself." the tower has PLANTS i love it so much / "Ten Years’ Winter" god PLEASE tell me this is going to get into the agriculture and society stuff game of thrones didn't about long winters that would be SO cool / "Watchers of the Stars" AND they have a cool name holy shit (?/?)

Plants are important! As is food supply. As everyone who’s been reading this blog for a while already knows I think lol.

I mean, it’s not about that, really? The Ten Years’ Winter is a historical event--the most recent meteor impact severe enough to have global climate fallout. The dust it kicked up took a while to settle, and the famines were pretty severe.

But the cultural consequences of something that happened a hundred and fifty years ago exist, and are important, including the relationship between governance and disaster preparedness, which varies a lot regionally as you may imagine. 

Astronomy has a long history as a wizardly sort of activity in the real world, both because it’s had continual overlap with astrology and just because the process has always been mystical and abstruse. In this setting, with a history of both devastating meteor impacts and being invaded from the Moon, but also actual magic, it’s got more obvious practical importance. Although since neither of these are remotely everyday occurrences, the average person on the street might not agree lol.

So it’s on the one hand a purely descriptive title, and on the other hand a serious boast, suggesting as it does that they are primarily responsible for Watching The Sky For Stuff. While also having broader philosophical implications and just sounding nice lol. 

You gotta have good marketing if you want to persist as a wizardly order, because if talented students aren’t motivated to come to you how will you gain new members? Natural replacement is not an ideal strategy to say the least. That’s how you turn into a cult instead of an intellectual powerhouse.

"The northern third of the Tower’s park contains neatly regimented orchards, apples, pears, plums, and a few rows of carefully tended peaches and apricots, all clipped flat against low brick walls angled south and slightly west." hhh t r e e s / "wizards, while enthusiastic about innovation in the abstract, hate change." me too, wizards. me too / "The Tower grounds are filled with refugees." ooh now we get to why everything was empty earlier (?/?)

Trees! Which are also food!

And technology lol. Greenhouses built against fruit walls with good insulation are so much more sensible than ones heated from inside. Obviously as a passive solar-powered technology these only work when the sun is available and not, for example, cut off by a giant dust cloud. 

These people are fairly acutely aware of their dependence on the sun and it figures prominently in a majority of their religions and their magical theory, even more than in ours.

There seems to be a mild consensus that the wizards are relatable. In truth: we are all wizards. :D

Yup! At long last lol.

"This division corresponds imperfectly to the usual split of the town by the course of the Meroda." because people!! take comfort!! in what normalcy they can find!! / "Makeshift pallets line the spaces between every fruit wall—the injured are being laid out here, now that the Tower is full, to get the benefit at night of the warmth meant to mature fruit." the awesome magic tower people trying to do everything they can for the injured who come to them for help in case i thought i couldn't be (?)

more in love / "Half of them are making ready to turn south along the Meroda." oh nooooo / "but the Moon People are the successors of the ancient magics, and just because they could not break the walls the last time they came, according to legend, does not mean they have not worked out a method now." im so worried for the people oh no (?)

Yeah! It really seemed natural. But of course they also aren’t recreating it obsessively; lots of people are grouping up with relatives who normally live across the river, or with people in the same line of work on the river, because people also adapt to circumstances.

No institution is ever perfect, of course, but I’m glad the Watchers have come across this way so far. They’re broadly well-intentioned and mostly well-organized.

And they were not ready for this.

A significant fraction of the reason for the order of the Watchers to exist at all, particularly in this observatory with its great eye fixed ever on the face of the green moon, is to be able to warn the world if this ever happens again. But the Moon People knew they were being watched, this time, and they kept all the build-up to mobilization that might have given them away on the far side of the moon until the last minute.

What the Magister is doing, as I hope was made clear or at least successfully indicated--I wish your commentary on the ending had come through!--is summoning what turns out to be an actual child from another world to do hero stuff.

Even if he’d gotten an adult that would be kidnapping someone to help with your problems, a routine element of the portal fantasy whose ethics have been addressed in a variety of ways, most famously ‘is Lion Jesus and always right.’ 

The reason they need a hero from another world is that the Moon People build a lot of their wards and their offensive and disabling magical attacks around a targeting system based on what planet people are from, because even though they’re originally from the same stock--they’re the descendants of ancient moon colonists who evacuated ahead of a major meteor impact somewhere approaching four thousand years ago--on a magical level having been born and raised on the planet or the moon makes a pretty huge difference. 

So no one can get into the place their magic space elevator is anchored and fuck it up so they can’t keep bringing troops and supply in and loot out. Their single supply line is their only strategic weakness, and they’ve taken appropriate precautions.

Getting someone in from a third location is the best idea anyone’s been able to come up with in the very limited time available. Since no one can figure out how to turn one of the Moon People against the cause they came here for, on short notice, when they aren’t even stopping to talk to anyone so far. Like, that’s clearly not going to happen.

Heron Yl Fanult isn’t unaware that it’s ethically questionable, but he’s doing it anyway.

So I’m glad the ominous imminent oncoming of the Moon People can really be felt, because that atmosphere is fairly essential context for the decisionmaking going on at the top of the Tower.

"Young wizards sit in their bunks, six each to rooms that were previously individual, and hold lighting cupped dancing in their palms." a quick break from being worried to point out that this is rad as hell / "some with their heads decorously covered..." cultural differences!! especially with regional purposes like the Hedro!! 

Thank you! 😆💖 I thought so too lol. 

It also establishes the parameters of the magic system a little more. Throwing lightning bolts is pretty iconicly high-powered, right? And here it’s what most of the student wizards are practicing in anticipation of a battle, because most of them aren’t specced into combat and this is actually one of the easier lethal spells to master, especially if you have an academic background.

‘Electrocute’ isn’t a very flexible spell and it’s easy to lose control of, but it’s actually easier than, say, ‘set on fire to a significant degree in a non-electrical manner’ because concentrating a lot of heat in a certain location takes a lot more brute force than encouraging ionization. 

You can pull most of the actual destructive force for the palm lightning spell out of the physical air and/or earth if you grasp the principles, which is much easier than channeling a comparable amount of magic directly because it doesn’t have to go through you. 

The limiting factors on magic in this setting are how much power you can tap into and how much of it you can actually use without hurting or killing yourself. It’s not usually a lot, though the amount can be increased by things like choosing your workspace, prepping your workspace, and a whole lot of practice and meditation and things like that.

Magical traditions that get bundled under the heading of wizardry tend to focus on force multiplication, obtaining enough contextual understanding of a subject to make whatever power is applied go further. This means a lot of studying theory and using magic to make observations (such as the existence of microorganisms and their connection to disease) and often results in making clever devices based on what you’ve learned that may not actually wind up being magical at all. 

Which is why the solar greenhouse proposal is considered ‘more wizardly’ than the fruit walls, which are wizardly in the first place even though the technology is pretty widespread at this point--it’s carried the principle of minimizing the energy you have to invest to get the result you want to the logical conclusion, where you don’t have to do any magic at all, you just set up the situation and get out of the way and the sun will do the work for you.

Other schools of magic, particularly religious ones, are more likely to emphasize just getting better at handling energy for yourself, which tends to yield a lot more in the way of immediate practical dividends and in a lot of quarters wizards who don’t do something obviously practical like physic or smithcraft with their theoretical background are considered crackpots or dilettantes 

An impression helped along by the fact that being taken on as a student of wizardry at a basic level tends to focus more on your reading comprehension than your ability to actually do any magic, so in places where religious and wizardly institutions coexist the most talented students have a tendency to gravitate toward the religious life. This is particularly marked in areas religiously dominated by the Compact of the Golden Circle, wherein full ordination is contingent on being able to pull off certain fairly hefty rituals, so if you aren’t physically or mentally up to that kind of magical heavy lifting your religious career will stall out in one of the lay fraternities. In some of the cities on Sutouchel, the landmass to the southeast where the Compact is based, a slang term for wizard is ‘sanctum washout.’

But of course force multiplication is something that can scale up pretty far, and studying theory doesn’t stop you from also putting work into your practical skills, and not having talent isn’t the only reason someone would choose not to seek out a clerical career, if it’s even an option. Religion along the Meroda is pretty localized; communities tend to have local deities who correspond to a natural feature like the nearest mountain or the river or something, and if that deity rates a fulltime shrine the keeper also tends to be the major local medical provider, and since the wizards got settled in at the Tower it’s become pretty popular for shrinekeeping families to send their kids there for a year or two to get some educational polish in addition to what their parent already emphasized.

So depending on where you live and what your personal experience has been you’re going to have very different ideas about what wizards are good for.

Hrm. I’ve gone on a tangent. But that wound up taking so long you came back! :D I love it when being turtle works out in my favor.

Or was this actually the meta I was supposed to be doing in the first place? Aaaaa who knows.

im fairly confident you said eight asks survived so this is number nine? anyways onwards! "The hale survivors of the First Battle of the Second Descent sit waiting in their leathers, jack-chains and helmets laughably inadequate armor against the coming danger, and yet the best hope now just as they were on Carun Tol once the wizard fell" i have a lot of emotions about how their best bet is also a terrible bet but its all they have (9/?)

Yes 8. 

Woo, thank you! ^^ & I love that you described it that way because that also describes the ‘summon alien’ spell Yl Fanult is casting and echoing the same emotional theme throughout the scene was very much the goal here.

"Threads have escaped from the braids pinned across the top of her skull: she has not had the chance to take them down for two days." god just the continuation of how desperate everything is / "He leans forward to peer through the narrow glass that has been turned on its articulated base to face the middle of the room, and relaxes very slightly. At least there has been no catastrophic alteration there, either." what does that one do id assume theres no approching army in the middle of the room -

:D Yeah, the fact that one of the chief medics available is already overworked to the point of neglecting nonessential personal hygiene and the enemy isn’t even here yet I hoped would resonate.

Well, remember how some of the telescopes at the beginning point in directions not included in the normal three dimensions of space? :}

- "trained as it long has been upon the face of the moon" also forgot to mention their enemies being from the moon is Rad As Hell / "He snaps his fingers for a spark that falls into the deep circular groove full of distilled spirits, and steps through that as well. He is not burned." ooooh whats he doing / "At his feet lie a glittering piece of gold ore, a moonstone, and a carefully sanded round of pumice." i see the connection to the moonstone bc moon army but i wonder about the others -

Thank you! It took a fair amount of poking before I decided it was a solid approach; it provides just enough physical alienation that there’s no direct cultural relationship and you can have that ‘everyone in the entire world Disliked That’ vibe, without needing to create any complicated magical and cultural explanation for such a long run of isolationism. They were out of contact because they were On The Moon.

Also I really get a kick out of putting space invaders in a fantasy setting in a way that stops just short of turning into sci-fi.

I’m glad the ritual lead-up is exciting! Even if the foreshadowing wasn’t as obvious as I thought it was lol. That’s fixable. 

Gold is for the sun, moonstone is yeah for the moon lol (although in other circumstances people also use jade, because it’s been a long time since the moon was uniformly silver on account of it having been terraformed a few thousand years ago) and pumice is for the world--it’s a stone full of air that floats on water, so it’s popular as an anchoring device for rituals that call on all three local celestial bodies.

"He cannot take much time. He has only until the ring of fire dies." whats he doingggggg / anyways i love this so much!! the descriptions are gorgeous and im so invested in all of everything!! i hope you write more im so curious about it all!! 

XD Ok I covered this already, I would have saved it for down here or Been Mysterious if tumblr hadn’t eaten the last few asks the first time lol. Thank you so much again! For encouragement! Before and now! I’ll try! To keep it going!

Here’s hoping this successfully posts, tumblr just kicked me onto New Dashboard again and disabled the turn-it-off button, so now my alternate posting strategy is borked up too. 🤞😅😘

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[mischiefandi]

Mine - Stiles Stilinski

A/N: Hello everyone! I cannot begin to tell you guys how excited I am about posting this!!!! I’ve spent so long working on this imagine and I honestly am pretty proud of how it turned out, I really hope you’ll enjoy it. This was written for @dylanobemineforever ‘s writing challenge (thank you for organising this, I had so much fun writing this imagine). The rule was to write whatever we wanted about any one of DOB’s characters but it had to be based off a song (from a given list). This imagine was based off the song Mine by Bazzi (lyrics are hereeeee)

I’d also like to thank @susybird for proofreading this pic for me, you are an absolute angel and your reactions to it were incredibly sweet! A inappropriate amount of wet sloppy kisses (on the cheek lmao) to @itsbilescallmebiles, thank you Weird Al for encouraging me and making me smile like an idiot during the whole process of creating this. @hellogoodbyebitch, I could not have written this without you!!! You were an absolute sweetheart and you made me feel much more confident about my work every single time I was unsure. You guys are the best <3

Check out my Masterlist for more content! Part 2 Coming Soon!!!

Summary: What was supposed to be a joyous night celebrating the engagement of Y/N Y/L/N and Alec Meyers turns into a whirlwind of unexpected events which begs the question, how did we get here?

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, and that’s about it?

Word Count: 11K

Enjoyyy :)) Tell me what you think plssss

How did we get here?

“It was back in 2016. We were both in college and I was living in dorm C which was just across dorm D, where Y/N was living with her roommate Malia.”

Everyone in the room was listening to Alec’s speech. His navy blue suit fit him like a glove and his tie had been perfectly knotted, most probably by Y/N, who somehow had always mastered the delicate art of male accessorising. She was standing next to him in a knee-length dark purple dress and holding a generously filled champagne glass. Her delicate fingers held the crystal object with grace as the solid rock on her ring finger glistened brightly, and her eyes were focused on Alec’s handsome face as she breathed in his words.

“The dorm laundry room was in a small hall that connected the two dorms and because my close friend and roommate Ben was constantly in the company of,-” he cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly,-“young girls, I would usually go sit in said hall and study there. Then one day, I was working on a research paper and I was hungry. So I got up and walked up to the vending machine across from me and I bought myself a pack of Skittles. Now, let me remind you guys, I had just turned 21, I was in community college, I barely had enough money to buy pizza and a coke, so naturally, when I saw the price was 2 dollars and a quarter I wasn’t exactly thrilled. But I bought it anyway, cause I was hungry. I had three quarters left in my pocket and I went back to my seat on the floor, when the most beautiful girl in the world walked into the hall. And I swear,-” he laughed, shaking his head,-“my heart literally did a somersault in my chest! I was breathless!”

“Al,” Y/N whispered as she wrapped her arm around his waist and blushed deeply.

“And um…the pretty girl came up to me and then asked me something. Thing is I was so mesmerised by her that I had to ask her to repeat her question. And what was the question again?” Alec looked down at Y/N and grinned lovingly.

“I asked him if he had any money because I was three quarters short from finishing my last load of laundry,” Y/N answered as she smiled brightly.

“I immediately took out the coins from my pocket and without even talking, I placed them in her hand. And let me tell you, sparks flew! I mean seriously, fireworks!” Chuckles and “awwws” could be heard all around the room but the couple was too distracted by each other to notice. “She thanked me, went back to the laundry room and I went back to work. After about fifteen minutes, she came back and placed a small folded piece of paper on the floor in front of me, then, she winked and walked away. Obviously, I read the note and it turned out to be her number. I called her that very night and we went on our first date the next day. Seems like ages ago now doesn’t it?”

“It really does,” Y/N answered softly before burying her face in his chest. Everyone around them applauded loudly and Y/N turned to face the crowd, her gaze falling on a specific group of people very close to her heart. 

Malia was wearing a sleeveless black dress that ended a few centimetres over her knees, her arm was wrapped lovingly around Scott’s as he grinned widely and clapped his hands together. Lydia was with Jordan, they were exchanging a light kiss and his arms were wrapped around her waist, his fingers tugging at the light pink fabric of her top and holding her close against his grey suit. On their right stood Y/N’s best friend. He was wearing a light blue shirt with a black blazer over it, but no tie, he hated ties. His hair was dishevelled, not being all that different from its usual spiky demeanour, and his amber eyes were gazing into hers. She smiled fondly at him and he smiled back, yet she couldn’t help but notice his eyes weren’t following suit. “Thank you all for being here, we hope you have a nice evening!” Y/N exclaimed as she seized her fiancé’s hand and dragged him away from the centre of the room. “I hate to leave you but I have to go mingle,” she told him before planting a kiss on his cheek and disappearing into the crowd. He grinned and went to say hello to his guests.

“You guys are just too cute Y/N,” said Lydia as the stunning brunette made her way over.

“I know right? God I love him…” Y/N smiled timidly as she sipped her champagne.

“You should! He’s petty hot in that suit…” added Malia, earning herself a couple of raised eyebrows, including from her boyfriend.

“Thank you, Malia, but I’m pretty sure you don’t wanna wake up Scott’s alpha side.” Y/N winked at her friend and Scott laughed. Stiles, however, stayed silent.

“Hey Stiles, come with me, I’m gonna get myself another drink okay?” He nodded and they both walked away from the group. A couple of people stopped Y/N from going any further in order to congratulate her on the engagement and she politely thanked them, not noticing Stiles’ incessant eye rolls. Finally, they had made their way to the liquor table on which dozens of different alcohols were being displayed.

“Are you okay? You seem a little…quiet, which isn’t a good look on you,” Y/N asked worriedly as she poured a little peach liquor in her glass.

“I’m fine,” Stiles stated calmly, his eyes staring at the bottom of his own.

“Are you sure?”

“He’s a romantic that one,” Stiles pointed out as he looked over the crowd to see Alec’s face. Y/N’s eyes turned in the same direction as his and she smiled as she shifted her weight.

-“Yeah, he is.”

-“Little over the top don’t you think?”

-“What do you mean?”

-“Well I mean, come on. ‘Fireworks?’ Could he be any more cliche?”

“Stiles it was super sweet.” Y/N laughed as she sipped at her peach vodka.

“Exactly, too sweet. So sweet it became gross.”

“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react right now.” The brunette’s smile had disappeared. She frowned and stared at him.

“Are you sure he’s not gay?”

“What?” Y/N asked, obviously starting to get very annoyed by Stiles’ comments.

-“He’s way too sensitive to be into women.”

-“How much did you drink Stiles?”

-“A lot more than he has.”

-“And I’m supposed to be impressed?”

-“Why are you even marrying him? You’re legal you know, no need for a green card.”

“You’re an ass, Stiles.” Y/N walked away from him and walked back to the group, her nostrils flaring.

Stiles downed the rest of his drink and followed her.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” asked Lydia.

-“I don’t know.”

-“What do you mean?”

-“It’s Stiles, he’s acting really weird, and kind of insulting really.”

-“What did he say to you?”

“Um, guys?” Scott asked as he looked back at the centre of the room where the mic was being given to someone who had yet another strong drink in his hand.

-“He said Alec was gay and I know it’s stupid but I don’t know, he’s being weird and-”

-“-Guys.”

-“Why would he say that?”

-“I don’t know he ju-”

-“-Guys!”

“What?” Exclaimed the three girls as they turned to Scott.

“Stiles has the mic.”

“Oh god…” Y/N muttered as she realised that Stiles was in fact in the middle of the room and currently tapping the mic with his index.

“Testing. Testing.” The room started to quiet down and everyone turned to the drunk young man expectantly.

“Good evening everyone, my name is Stiles Stilinski anddddddd I know what you’re thinking, weird name rrrright? Yeah, I know, it’s weird, it’s not my actual name, but Alec, that’s a real name, that’s Alec’s real name anyways. Alec’s kind of weird too right? I mean seriously, try repeating Alec fifty times out loud and you’ll understand what I mean. Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec,…”

“I’m gonna go take the mic from him,” Scott said before walking up to his friend. But Stiles had seen him coming and put the mic out of arm’s reach.

“Okay fine I’ll stop repeating Alec, besides I don’t need to anymore, everyone understands now. Here’s what I want to say. I want to talk about Y/N because she’s the reason why everyone’s here tonight right? Y/NNNN. What to say about Y/N…” Stiles sighed loudly and walked a little further from Scott.

“Y/N and I met in high school! Yep. High School sweethearrrrrts if you will, although I guess not sweethearts cause well, we’re not dating, we didn’t date, never did. But we were close! Still are, right? Where is sssshe rrrright now? Oh, there you are! Hey Y/N!” Stiles pointed his finger at her and shouted out her name while she just stared at him, appalled by his slurred words and drunk behaviour. She wasn’t the only one. The entire room was looking at him, whispers were being exchanged between the different guests and pitiful eyes sent her glances every once in a while.

“She looks maaaaaad…I mean she has a right to be, I’m being an asssss right now! Why would she want an asshole when she has a sensitive, kind and perfect Ken Doll to keep her company, am I right?” His words, harsh as they were, didn’t phase Alec in the least and his soft eyes rested on Y/N’s stoic expression.

“Babe, do you want me to talk to him? I think he drank a little too much,” he whispered in her ear and she shook her head calmly.

“Scott’s dealing with it.”

“By the way Ken, you’re a really nice guy! Really romantic and sweet and you’re hot as hell I mean how the actual fffuck can someone like me compete with a blonde mmmale bimbo like youuu? Does that ever complicate stuffff? Being that hhhot? I mean it must right? People must think you’ve gotta be the dumbest person alive because of your hotness. I mean it’s practically a hate crime being that hot and being smart! You know most people would feel threatened by you, but me? Not me, I don’t feel threatened, at alllllllllllll. Like at all. Why would I be? You know? I’m happppy! I’m glad you’ve got that great lawyer gig thing, and I’m really happy your breath smells like mint, and I’m even happier you got the girlll of every guy’s dreams! I mean, woaaah!! It’s like you won the lottery with that one! In fact, I think-”

“-Shut up Stiles, stop it right now, I’m serious.” Scott grabbed Stiles by the arm and dragged him away from the crowd.

“Mic Drop!” Stiles exclaimed before throwing the mic up in the air, making it land right on the table on which the alcohol and champagne glasses were being kept. Guests exclaimed as the shattering glass fell on the floor of Alec and Y/N’s home. One of the caterer’s helpers quickly rushed to the scene and started to clear it up but it was an absolute mess.

“I can’t believe you, Stiles! What the hell is wrong with you?” Malia slapped Stiles so hard he swore every single guest had heard it. And just as if it couldn’t get any worse, Alec put his firm hand on his shoulder and opened his mouth to talk to him.

“Stiles, obviously, you’re not well. Why don’t I get you home so you can get some sleep?“

Stiles was about to answer something rude when Y/N shot him a glare.

“That’s okay Al, I’ve got it. Enjoy the rest of your night, guys!” Scott reassured them kindly as he started dragging Stiles towards the front door.

“No Scott, let me. I’ve got a couple things I wanna say to Stiles before he goes to bed,” Y/N said before squeezing her fiancé’s hand and leaving the house with her drunk friend.

Stiles’ apartment was a good 30 minutes away from where the engagement party was taking place, which made the car ride extremely awkward seeing as neither Stiles nor Y/N spoke a word. Stiles, who was sitting in the passenger’s seat, looked out the window and focused on the lights coming from the lampposts along the streets. The silence was excruciatingly tense and finally, the tie-less young man cleared his throat and looked back at his friend, only, she didn’t look back.

“Y/N, stop furrrrrowing your brow like that, or you’ll ave wrinkles fo life.”

“Fuck you, Stiles,” she snapped.

“Oh cm'on, was a joke,” he said, raising his voice. He seemed annoyed at her anger, which only worsened her mood.

“What the hell was that Stiles?”

“What was what?” Stiles rarely played dumb, but when he did, it riled her up.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Y/N pulled her eyes away from the road to look at him and her glistening eyes erased the smug look on his face instantly. Y/N was driving pretty fast, but somehow the sight of her breathtaking orbs across which danced the furtive city lights of LA seemed to slow down time, and it even seemed to sober him up a little. Realising he had probably been staring at her a little too long, he snapped out of his daze and looked away.

“Stiles?” she asked him, her voice a little softer than before.

“I’m sorry.”

Neither of them said anything for a while. Y/N focused on the road ahead, occasionally letting her eyes set themselves upon her high school friend whereas Stiles avoided her stares, his head turned in the opposite direction. Eventually, Y/N sighed and turned on the radio. The song Mine by Bazzi started to play and she let her head fall back against her headrest.

Yeah, I just had lil’ bit too much Hennessy

Just gotta tell you how I feel

You so fucking precious when you smile

Hit it from the back and drive me-

Y/N turned off the radio instantly, the beginning of the song felt much too familiar and it was making her uncomfortable. Silence was good enough, for now…

The car stopped in front of a large concrete apartment building about twenty minutes later and Y/N didn’t even help Stiles out of the car, which obviously annoyed the crap out of him. She did wait for him though, and five minutes later, they were about to enter Stiles’ apartment, 3B. The drunk young man struggled to put the key in the lock and Y/N grabbed it from him, opening the door herself. She didn’t want to wait for another half hour before getting home and Stiles was taking forever.

“Thanks,” he slurred.

In they went, and as soon as Y/N entered the apartment, an awful smell of smoke, alcohol and sweat filled her nostrils.

“Oh my god, Stiles, ever heard of windows?” she groaned rhetorically, quickly walking up to the large window above the couch on which she dropped her purse. She made sure she had opened it wide enough to make the air inside the living room breathable when she turned around and realised Stiles had disappeared. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Stiles?” she called out before going into the small kitchen on her left. “Stiles? Stiles, I’m not in the mood for hide-and-seek so would you please ju-,” Y/N stopped talking when she heard an awful sound come from the bathroom.

The door was ajar and she could make out Stiles’ blazer on the tiled floor. She slowly walked into the dark bathroom, and her eyes rested upon Stiles in his sweaty light blue shirt, with both his legs lying on either side of the toilet and his head resting on the seat. He looked like a mess. “Stiles-…”, the second she opened her mouth, Stiles buried his face in the toilet again and the nauseating sounds she had heard before coming in resonated inside the porcelain bowl. Immediately, she bent down and placed herself on her knees right behind him in order to rub his back with her palm. She was angry with him, furious even, but he was her best friend, and even his drunk behaviour wasn’t enough for her to forget empathy. “It’s okay, let it out. Let it all out.” He groaned as she tried to soothe him with her soft voice. Finally, he rested his head on the seat again, the bile having completely left his body. They stayed that way for a while. Y/N kept rubbing circles with her hand, occasionally switching between left and right when one got tired and he made little moans every once in a while. Eventually, he started to shift and she helped him up, his knees had obviously been weakened by the amount of scotch he had consumed at the engagement party. Y/N filled up a glass with tap water and practically forced it down his throat, cleaning out the last of his vomit. “Are you okay?” she asked him calmly. He nodded and walked past her, banging his shoulder against the side of the door as he left the room, leaving her alone in the dark.

She followed him and that’s when she really noticed the mess Stiles was living in. Dirty dishes were left in various places in the living room, and empty beer cans and bottles were lying around everywhere. Old pizza boxes, some still containing a few slices were stacked up in the corner of the room and there were dirty clothes everywhere she looked. “Stiles, what the hell…” she muttered to herself. He had gone into the kitchen and while she expected him to come out with a sandwich in hand, he came out with a pack of beer. Her kind expression immediately turned to an angry glare and she blocked his way. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going into my living room.” he tried to walk past her but she blocked him again and he started to get impatient. “Let me pass,” he said harshly.

“No. No, you are not ruining my evening by getting drunk and embarrassing my fiancé and then drinking yourself into a coma.”

“I made myself throw up Y/N, a lot of alcohol has left my body and I’d like to get some back in, I’m a grown ass man, and I’ll do as I please, so let me pass,” he said angrily as he pushed her aside, something she never thought he would do. Shocked by his actions, she turned around only to face his back and retaliated.

“A grown ass man? Really? Cause the crap you pulled at the party, that wasn’t exactly what I’d call mature Stiles.”

He didn’t even turn to look at her, he just sat himself down on his laundry covered couch and opened a can. “I can take care of myself Y/N, go away.”

Her eyes widened at his comment and she stomped towards him. “I can see that! Yeah, this place doesn’t look like a frat party tornadoed its way in here!” she exclaimed sarcastically and he avoided her eyes, staring into his can. “Give me that!” she finally yelled before swiftly taking his beer. He shot up instantly and grabbed her by the wrist.

“I’m sorry,” he said, letting her go immediately. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, falling back down on his couch. Her nostrils were flaring and she stared him down, her mouth slightly open, letting a thin line of air in and out. “I’m-”

-“-sorry, yeah you’ve said so.”

-“Y/N-”

-“Are you gonna talk?”

He looked up at her and that’s when she realised just how terrible he looked. His skin was pale and he had huge bags underneath his chocolaty eyes. They were reddened, which translated a lack of sleep. He was unshaved and his prickly stubble covered the beautiful constellation on the side of his face. His hair was unkempt, like it usually was, but it just added to the feel of brokenness Stiles was projecting onto her.

“I’m just tired.” his eyes stared down at the ground and he rubbed his hands together as though he was trying to keep warm.

“Obviously, but there’s something else, and I’m not gonna wait around all night for you to tell me what it is.” Again, Stiles looked up at her but didn’t say anything.

“Fine,” Y/N said, letting her arm slap against her waist before grabbing her purse and walking towards the doorway. She put her hand on the knob and started to turn it when she heard him speak. “You’re my best friend.” She stopped dead in her tracks, her heart thumped against her ribcage as she turned around.

“You have been since we were juniors. Do you remember how we met?”

 She didn’t respond and he got up.

“We met at that party. Benjamin Wilson’s party. Everyone was there, even freshmen. You were wearing your dark blue flannel shirt with the black tank top you always wore. And you had those black jeans with the scissored cuts at the end. I remember that your hair was tied up in this messy bun and you weren’t wearing any makeup, you were just…you.”

Stiles was almost whispering as he started to walk towards her, very slowly, as though she were a kitten he was trying not to scare away.

“You were leaning against a wall and uh, you were watching people dance and drink. You had a beer can in hand but, it was unopened. And then they started a mosh pit and I tried to get away before getting caught up in the middle of it. That’s when some idiot decided to jump around outside of the mosh pit and pushed me against you-”

“And then your drink spilled all over me and I punched the guy who pushed you,” Y/N breathed out. He smiled softly and kept going, the distance between the two of them growing smaller.

“Yeah. I kept saying sorry but you just laughed and blamed it on the poor guy who had a nosebleed. We spent all night talking and making fun of the idiots who were getting drunk and making out. You gave me your number but I lost it.”

“And on Monday, I showed up at the high school as a transfer and you spent all day trying to convince me you hadn’t ghosted me on purpose.”

“Did it work? Did I convince you?” inquired Stiles, even though he already knew the answer. His face was dangerously close to hers and his alcohol-tainted breath fanned across her chin.

“Stiles…” she whispered, her eyes shut tight.

“Did I?”

“Stiles, you shouldn’t-”

“Y/N,” Stiles muttered. Y/N was about to do something stupid when suddenly she felt his hand on her left hip and she immediately opened her eyes and pushed him away, making her purse fall to the floor in the process.

“What are you doing Stiles?” she questioned almost accusingly. He looked confused and hurt when he suddenly started to unbutton his shirt.

“Are you serious? What the hell is wrong with you!” Y/N gasped as she covered her eyes.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m just changing. Besides, you’ve already seen me shirtless before.”

“Right except you didn’t try to kiss me when I did,” she stated, uncovering her eyes.

“You think that was me trying to kiss you?” he asked, still shirtless.

She stared at his slightly toned stomach, and couldn’t help but gulp at the sight of his happy trail.

“Well, what were you doing if you weren’t trying to kiss me?”

“I…” he started, but quickly pulled a red sweater down his upper body and sat down on the armrest of his couch.

“You…?”

“Will you just drop it?” he asked roughly. She shut up and shifted her weight. Silence. Complete and utter silence, they were both looking into each other’s eyes but their stares were tense and cold. Finally, Y/N went into the kitchen, not seeing the puzzled look on Stiles’ face. He heard a lot of shuffling and pots and pans clashing before she finally came back into the room gripping a black trash bag with both hands. She bent down and started to throw the crumpled up cans into the bag. He got up and walked towards her but she turned around, pretending not to notice he was about to talk.

“Y/N what are you doing?” he sighed loudly as if her actions were exasperating. She ignored his question, deeming it stupid as he could clearly see that she was cleaning up his mess. One by one, the cans left the carpeted floor and Stiles just stood there, staring at his friend who had tied her hair up into in a messy bun. 

“Y/N.” Again, she ignored him and got up, walking past him to start grabbing his dirty clothes. He watched her delicate fingers tightly hold the collar of his favorite flannel and his eyes welled up when he had a déjà vu. She was the same. She was just like she had been at that party seven years ago, with her hair untamed and a flannel on her body. The neon lights coming from the bar across the street, coloured her soft skin, it’s usual white tone replaced by a pattern of blue and red. She was simply breathtaking. That was all he could think about as she kept securing his shirts onto her outreached arm. 

“Y/N.” he muttered to himself not expecting her to hear his hoarse voice. 

“What?” she snapped, finally letting her eyes pierce through his.

“What are you doing?” he forced himself to ask aloud.

“What does it look like I’m doing,” she retorted angrily before pushing past him roughly. “I’m cleaning up your mess because as usual, you’re incapable of doing so yourself.” Her words hurt him more than he’d care to admit. She was never this angry, she was always understanding and kind. Never in a million years did he think Y/N of all people would speak so harshly. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/N kept her lips sealed shut and this made the blood in his veins boil. 

“Enough with the fucking silent treatment!” he shouted out angrily, the vein in his forehead pulsating furiously. She stopped dead in her tracks and his heart shattered when he realised that her gorgeous eyes were welling up. 

“I’m s-” he tried to say as he stepped forward, but she didn’t let him finish. She walked up to him and before he knew it, a hot white feeling of pain flashed upon his cheek and he let out a yelp. 

“What the hell was that for?” he exclaimed, immediately cupping his cheek with both his hands. She didn’t answer but instead, crashed her lips to his.

The sudden action made Stiles’ eyes widen instantly and his heartbeat sped up so much he thought his chest was going to burst. ‘What is happening right now?’ he asked himself as his lips chose to respond to Y/N’s actions. The kiss was so many things all at once.

It was honest. The way their lips fit together perfectly, as if their bodies were a puzzle and all they needed was to be connected in order to be complete, the way she tugged at his collar with both hands, desperately trying to hold on to him as if she were about to lose him at any minute, the way his heart called out her name with every beat in his chest, all of those things proving to one another that it was more than just a kiss.

It was passionate. Stiles brought his hands to her waist and pushed her against the wall, making his lamp fall to the floor in the process. He brought his right hand up to her face and slipped his fingers through her soft hair, lightly tugging at it as she pushed her body closer to him. His scruff felt deliciously rough against her smooth cheeks when the tip of his tongue grazed her lower lip and she granted him entry without hesitation, letting his muscle caress her own needily.

The kiss was angry. Y/N’s taste bud lit up instantly when she tasted the vile aftermath of smoking and drinking in his mouth and suddenly, she felt her heart beat faster than it had been, only she couldn’t tell if it was from her anger or the way Stiles was dragging his nails slowly against the back of her dress. She harshly bit his lower lip and he groaned as she drew a tiny drop of blood, but he didn’t care. She was there, doing things to him he had always dreamt of but never had the chance to experience. That’s when it happened. A distinctive sound buzzed through Y/N’s purse and their bodies shot apart, Y/N immediately wiping at her lips as she avoided Stiles’ eyes.

She hurried across the room and yanked her purse off the floor in order to get her phone out. First ring. Stiles leaned against his wall, his fingers drumming nervously against his thigh, a habit he had picked up at his FBI intern program. She looked dazzling with her red and swollen lips as she stared at her phone screen.

Second ring. He shifted his weight and furrowed his brow, why wasn’t she answering?

Third ring. Stiles’ jaw clenched as he starting to chew on his lower lip, the situation worsening his usual state of anxiety.

Fourth ring. ‘Y/N answer the damn phone,’ he told himself when he realised she wasn’t going to move.

Fifth ring. There was an awful pit in his stomach and his clammy hands shook with anticipation. She let the phone ring, her body not moving a muscle. That was it, it was over.

Y/N exhaled loudly, making Stiles realise she had probably held her breath the whole time, just like he had.

The silence was horrible. Neither of them had said anything in the past five minutes and Y/N was still standing next to the door, her back facing a terrified Stiles who was still furiously tapping his fingers on his leg. Suddenly, she slowly turned around and walked up to the couch, feeling the rough material against her skin as she seated herself on it. He was about to say something when he saw her bury her face in her palms and the strangled sob that escaped her throat made his heart shatter into a million pieces. He rushed to her side and seated himself on the coffee table in front of her, pushing her phone to the floor with his body without realising it and placing both of his hands on her bare knees, rubbing the smooth skin with his calloused fingers. Her large tears fell onto her flattering dress and his cognac eyes flooded with tears of his own at the sight of the broken woman he loved more than life itself. 

“Y/N-” he murmured.

“-stop saying my name!” she spilled before pushing past him, bolting towards his bedroom, which she locked herself in without looking back. He had only caught a glimpse of her face when she left but it had been enough to notice her running mascara and humid eyes desperately trying to keep more salty water from crossing the border of her bottom eyelids.

How did we get here?

Quietly, Stiles brought himself in front of his bedroom door and sat down with his back against it. He leaned his head back on the firm wood separating him from his best friend. Breathing slowly, he opened his mouth and looked up as though she was standing above him. 

“You’re my best friend,” he admitted. “You’re upset. I can’t not comfort you because you’re my best friend Y/N, please open the door.” She didn’t respond and the door didn’t move in the slightest. He rubbed the back of his neck trying to soothe his wrecked nerves.

“Look we don’t have to talk about this, ever. I promise, no one has to know. We-we won’t even talk about it to each other, I swear to God,” he assured trying to convince her to open the door. 

“I promise, okay? It was just a spur of the moment thing, it won’t happen again, ever. It didn’t mean anything, we know that. Just please Y/N, open the door, let me in, come on.”

Still no answer.

“I-I… please, I beg of you just open the door. Come on, I don’t blame you for this, okay? Alec and the others, they don’t have to know, it was just an impulsive mistake that meant nothing, just please let me in Y/N, please,” he begged, this time, the tears rolling freely down his cheeks. His pleads were heart-wrenching, and Y/N couldn’t stand it any longer. Suddenly, the door flew open and Stiles fell back against the floor that, luckily, had been carpeted by the previous owners. This time, Y/N was standing above him and he blushed when he realised she could clearly see the humid mess that was his face. She ignored it and held out her hand, smiling softly when he took it. Once he had gotten up, she stared at him for a while and finally, spoke.

“Do you have any clean shirts left?”

It wasn’t the first time that Y/N had stayed this long in his home at night. They’d been best friends for seven years; their bond was so strong it was almost tangible. When they were still teenagers going on 18, Stiles and Y/N had a little tradition. Every Friday, instead of going to the god-awful parties their fellow High School students went to, they stayed in and watched a movie together. Sometimes the whole pack joined them, sometimes one member alone, but most of the time it had been just them. Only once Stiles had gone to D.C and Y/N had stayed in California to go to community college, movie night was cancelled repeatedly. Their respective schedules were completely different and they barely had the time to have a decent phone conversation. Still, they fought like hell to make their special Friday nights work by calling each other on Facetime every Friday and watching their movie together, even if they were 2,299 miles away from each other. Then she met Alec and it all changed. She started missing his calls and more and more Friday nights were cancelled because of dates and events like meeting the parents and such. Eventually, he just stopped calling at the end of the week, sending a simple text ever so often.

And then he graduated. He was done in DC and the FBI gave him a job offer which, he gladly accepted. To his great surprise, they sent him permanently to LA. The second he had landed in California, his friends ordered Thai food and spent the night helping him move into his new apartment. It had been so long since the last time the pack had been complete and that night remained one Stiles’ most cherished memories. He reconnected with Y/N that night. They laughed their heads off for hours, they drank and danced and unpacked his stuff, they spent the whole evening catching up. It had been amazing and the next day, everything had gone back to normal. Y/N came over very often, movie night was back on and a regular event everyone was allowed to come to, occasional lunches and nights out at their favourite bars with the members of the pack that resided in LA were frequent. Everything was good, everything was as it should be. Only, Alec tagged along sometimes. And he would kiss Y/N, on the cheek, on the forehead, on the lips. Stiles could feel his blood boil whenever she smiled up at her loving boyfriend when they were all together and it only worsened with time. Y/N became distant again, but still, she was careful not to stay away too much, always finding the time to visit him and talk.

Then one night she called him in tears. He had already grabbed his bat thinking he was going to have to beat up Alec for screwing with his best friend, but she squealed in the phone ecstatically and told him she was engaged. Alec had proposed. Stiles drank the pain away that night. It was just too much for him. Distancing himself from the girl he loved, that he could deal with, but with her engagement came marriage and that meant having to cut her off. It was going to be too painful for him otherwise, seeing her move into a white picket fence type of house with the man of her dreams, seeing her have children who wouldn’t be his own and probably being attributed the role of godfather. He couldn’t stand by and watch her build a family with someone other than him. He just wasn’t strong enough for that.

The fact that Y/N was engaged ended up making them grow apart a little more. She was always busy planning for the wedding, there had been her bridal shower which Lydia and Maria had jokingly invited Stiles to, there had been Alec’s bachelor party which he had managed to wiggle himself out of, not wanting to talk to the man who was stealing the love of his life or to said man’s golf buddies who didn’t have anything interesting to talk about besides their tax incomes. Y/N didn’t have time to show up unannounced to his apartment and he didn’t have the mental strength to provide help for the wedding preparations.

Stiles’ thoughts were suddenly interrupted when his bathroom door swung open, revealing Y/N in an oversized shirt and old boxers of his, standing in his doorway. Her beautiful long hair was still wet from the shower she had just taken and she was carrying her dress in her arms. She walked over to him and seated herself on his soft bed and he noticed that she was fidgeting with her fingers, something she always did when nervous. He gulped discretely, trying his best not to reveal his anxiety, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he did. 

“I want to know everything Stiles,” announced Y/N, softly. She glanced at him but he avoided her eyes. It seemed to be the theme of the night, avoiding each other’s gaze.

“It didn’t mean anything,” Stiles tried to assure her with a cracked voice, his words, much to his disappointment, barely convincing. Her eyes welled up. 

“I wasn’t talking about the kiss Stiles,” she murmured. Finally, he bravely brought his eyes up to hers and inhaled slowly.

-“There’s nothing to say, I just drank a little too much scotch.”

-“Stiles, stop trying to salvage this. We’re way past that.”

He knew she was right, but how was he supposed to tell her everything? How could he even begin to explain his feelings for her? Where would he start?

“Stiles, I’m asking for an explanation, okay, you owe me at least that,” Y/N persisted, desperately trying to tear open the shell he had so carefully built around himself. 

“What about you huh?” he snapped. “What about that little stunt you pulled back there? Am I gonna get an explanation?” he asked angrily, gesturing in the direction of the living room still slightly visible from where they were.

“I don’t-, I can’t-, just-,”

“Just what?” he barked, the temperature in his blood rapidly rising.

“Just stop cornering me! Stop pressuring me into this tight spot okay!! I can’t fucking focus!” Y/N shouted out, stunning both him and herself. She wasn’t the kind of person to explode like that, she was always cool and composed, never letting her feelings take over. 

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he affirmed, trying to make his voice a little more soothing than before. 

“I am. I’m sorry. I’m just…” he looked at her with puppy eyes and his beautiful lips formed a lopsided smile, “I’m terrified.”

“You’re saying that to an engaged woman who just kissed her best friend,” she said, smiling reassuringly, making him chuckle lightly.

-“Well I’m partly to blame, I let you.”

-“We’re horrible people huh?”

-“Well, not Gerard Argent horrible but uh, something like that.”

-“Where do we start?”

-“Start what? Becoming like Gerard?”

“No dumbass,” she said playfully punching his shoulder, “Where do we start here?”

“Do we really have to start?” he asked. Y/N nodded slowly and turned her body towards him on the bed.

-“Do you wanna go first or should I?”

-“Does it really make a difference?”

“Guess not…” he nodded, trying to calm down the heart he was sure Y/N could clearly hear beating through his chest. “I’m not a huge fan of Alec.”

“No kidding, Jimmy Kimmel.” Y/N joked and he flashed her a grin as he recognized the name of the famous stand-up comedian, quickly composing himself afterwards.

“I-, would you go to my desk? There’s a small box in the uh, second drawer. Bring it to me.” Y/N looked puzzled but she complied and indeed, a small dark blue box lay at the bottom of the desk’s chestnut drawer. She handed it to him and he fidgeted with the object his hands.

“Are you going to tell me what it is or are we waiting for it to turn into a pearly white carriage, cause it’s almost midnight so…”

She smirked at him and he smiled back. Even in the worst situations, Y/N always found the strength to crack a joke. That was something he truly admired about her. Slowly, Stiles opened the box and inside lay a folded up piece of paper. Y/N looked down at the content of the box, then looked back up at him, a confused look on her face.

-“Take it. Go on.”

-“Okay…but if it’s the secret of the end of the world, I’m gonna have to call the Pope.”

-“Yeah, yeah, just read it.”

She scoffed and grabbed the delicate piece of shrivelled paper.

“4 0 5 3 6 8-,…” her voice caught in her throat when she realised what the note was.

-“How did you-,”

-“-it was when I moved here. I found it between the 68th and 69th pages of the book I had started reading that weekend, Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot.”

“Wait but why did you put it in such a fancy box and…” Y/N’s brow furrowed and she looked down at the piece of paper in her hands, “oh…”

-“I wanted you to have it. You know, that’s kind of how all of this started and-,”

-“-you wanted it to end that way.”

-“Y/N…”

“So that’s a yes, you were just gonna cut me out of your life? When were you gonna do that? In a year? A month?” Y/N rambled, awfully hurt by the shocking revelation.

“It was my wedding gift to you. I was gonna give it to you and um, leave it at that.”

“You were gonna leave me? You were gonna get out of my life on the day of my wedding? Who are you?” her voice was strangled, and she wasn’t even trying to stop her tears from flowing this time.

“It’s not like that.” Stiles tried to explain.

“Isn’t it? Let’s look at the facts, shall we?! You don’t ask about the wedding, you don’t call or text me at all these past few months, you insult my fiancé in front of both our families and then, I find out you plan on giving me a piece of paper that basically means: get the hell out of my life!” Y/N yelled out, her face contorted with anger.

“Don’t you get it? I can’t stand back and watch the woman I love marry someone else! I can’t spend the rest of my life pining over you while you live the life I’ve wanted to live with you for the past seven years Y/N! I can’t fucking watch you walk down the aisle on your wedding day knowing that I’m not the person you’re headed towards! Because I’m a selfish coward who knows he’s not strong enough to push through the crushing pain of watching you grow old with anyone other than with me! I can’t do it! I just can’t! I would if I could but I’m pretty sure my heart’ll physically tear if I have to spend another month watching the both of you together!” Stiles exclaimed without taking a second to breathe. Her eyes were open wide and once he had cooled down, he quickly realized this was the point of no-return and that he had most probably destroyed their relationship and everything they had once felt for each other.

How did we get here?

He was standing now, but she was still seated, and she hadn’t spoken a word in ten minutes. He was pacing around the room, both hands on his hips, praying that her reaction wasn’t going to be worse than a slap and a goodbye. Finally, she cleared her throat bringing his attention back to her. 

“How long have you known?” she asked, without looking at him.

“Junior year.” She scoffed and clenched her jaw.

-“And you didn’t think to tell me. Not once?”

-“Of course I did. But how do you think the conversation would have gone? Hey Y/N, I’m in love with you, wanna make out?”

-“Well, that would have been better than finding out three weeks before my wedding day Stiles.”

-“What did you want me to say? I was terrified of losing us, of losing this. I didn’t want to jeopardize our relationship just because-”

“-just because you loved me?” she asked sarcastically, this time letting her eyes burn into his.

“Look just-, I-” Stiles groaned,-“you should go. Alec called you and he’s probably worried sick right now.”

-“Oh god, you’re kicking me out now?”

-“I’m not kicking you out! Look, what do you want me to say Y/N? Do you want me to take it back? Do you want me to tell you, you’re just a friend to me and then casually disappear the day of your wedding?”

-“No.”

“Why not? Cause it sure as hell seems like that would make you a whole lot happier. It’s definitely easier than hearing the cold hard truth isn’t it?” Stiles rambled, letting his emotions get the better of him.

-“No.”

-“Then what? What do you want me to do? Because I’m seriously considering throwing myself out of my bedroom window just to escape this situation so tell me, what do you want?”

-“Kiss me.”

“What?” Stiles said, making a double take, disbelief written all over his face.

-“I said, kiss me.”

-“Yeah, I heard what you said, I just don’t understand it.”

Y/N closed her eyes. 

“I need to figure something out but I can’t do that if you don’t kiss me, so, kiss me.” She didn’t move. She just stayed seated, with her eyelids shut tight, waiting for him to make a move but he was glued to the spot. He couldn’t just kiss her, could he? Stiles did everything in his power to move his feet towards her, her sealed eyes were the only thing his own were focusing on and he bent down, resting on his knees, right in front of her. Her lower lip was faintly trembling and he couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath as he studied her beautiful face.

“So uh, I just kiss you now?” he muttered questioningly.

She didn’t say anything but slowly nodded her head and straightened her back expectantly.

Stiles inched his face closer to hers. The tip of his nose picked up the soothing scent of her perfume, Jasmine Bliss as he’d once read on the bottle, and his heart fluttered intensely. He brought his hand up to her soft cheek and he instantly heard a quiet moan escape the confines of her lips, which only made his desire to feel her increase. Encouraged by the sweet sound he had just heard, Stiles brushed away a strand of stray hair and tucked it behind her pierced ear as delicately as possible. The feel of her soft lobe made him smile timidly, making him extremely glad her grey eyes were closed and he brought his mouth up to the sensitive skin.

Feeling Stiles lightly press his lips in a puckered fashion against the side of her ear was stunningly pleasurable and Y/N couldn’t help but moan a little louder than previously causing him to smile against her skin. She gripped the bed covers when he placed another kiss on the spot behind her lobe and she stifled a happy sigh by biting down on her inner cheek when his lips ghosted above her neck.

Stiles’ need for physical contact with her body was fueled by the sweet noises his best friend was trying to contain and he pushed away every single thought racing through his mind in order to make room for the explosion of emotions he was going to feel with his next actions. He trailed his lips farther down the brunette’s neck and stopped right above her collarbone. He could practically hear her heart pound against the smooth skin of her chest and his mouth curved into an earnest smile as he gently shut his eyes, letting himself get lost in the feeling of his lips against her. He lazily let his bottom lip wonder a little further down and grazed the soft surface with the tip of his tongue. Y/N’s lips parted a little as he brought his own closer to her jawline. 

“Stiles, this isn’t what I meant by kiss me…” she whispered with all the strength she could muster.

“Shut up,” he murmured against her blushing cheek as he placed both hands on either side of her waist before planting a bolder kiss on her jawline. Nothing could be heard anymore aside from Y/N’s uneven breathing and the occasional whimpers she let out when his genuine kisses got closer to her lonely lips. He placed one final kiss right above her upper lip and let the warm air leaving her nostrils coat the top of his nose. Their faces were up close and personal, he could see every single freckle on her cheeks, the tiny and light mole right under her right eye almost entirely covered by her dark and exceptionally long lashes and the tiny scar she had on her forehead from the time they’d decided drunk sledging was a good idea. He could see the mildly smudged mascara underneath her loosely closed eyes. Most people would have been thrown off by her messy makeup but he could feel his heart swell at the realization that she was absolutely breathtaking. This was it, this was the moment he was going to let his lips tell her how much he loved her. This was the moment he was going to show her everything he felt for her. This time, he was going to do it right.

Stiles placed his large hand at the back of her head, holding it in his palm, threading her wet hair with his veiny fingers and tilted his head a little downward to stroke her lips with his. The sweet contact blew the wind out of her and she instantly gasped against his mouth. He pushed his mouth a little closer to hers, trying desperately to eliminate all distance between their bodies as he slowly nibbled on her lower lip. Y/N’s gripped the bed cover’s tighter than before and unconsciously leaned into his kiss, bending down her head in order for him to have more access and he moaned huskily. His hand felt humid as it gripped her shampoo smelling hair and his other one tightened around her waist, making a quiet whimper echo against his lips when his thumb grazed her barely covered thigh. Y/N’s hands left the bed and flew to his neck, tugging at his collar, beckoning him to get up, which he gladly did. This time, Stiles was above her and her head leaned back as he bent down to keep their touch intact. He moaned lowly against her lips and passed his hand over her warm skin, trembling slightly at the feel of her body. The way his short arm hairs brushed her stomach repeatedly sent shivers up and down her spine and he lightly scratched her bare back underneath the Police t-shirt he had leant her. She tilted her head to the right making him smile against her lips as his tongue gently poked them. She didn’t even think about not letting him in and instantaneously created a gap between her lips, greeting his tongue with hers. As Stiles explored the inside of her delicious mouth, Y/N brought her hands to either side of his face and tugged softly at his brown locks of hair.

The kiss seemed to last for hours but it felt so right that neither of them tried to stop it, holding each other close and ignoring the time that was quickly fleeting. Eventually, Stiles caressed Y/N’s upper lip with his eager muscle and let his mouth slowly detach itself from hers, his eyes remaining closed. She opened hers and her gaze rested on his face, a timid smile etching itself on her swollen lips as she saw his slightly puckered mouth, still not quite ready to erase the memory of their stupefying kiss. His breathing was slow and calm, but it didn’t fool his heart, which was still beating at a faster rate than in general. She let out a shaky breath, which seemed to snap him out of his daze and he opened his eyes widely as he processed what they had just done. Stiles tried to soothe his voice as much as possible in order for Y/N not to realize how anxious he was and opened his mouth slowly before speaking, his eyes never leaving hers.

“D’you figure it out yet?” he half-whispered.

“Yeah…” she breathed, letting her hands fall at her side.

“Okay, what was it?”

“I don’t know when it happened Stiles, but somewhere along the line, you made me fall in love with you.”

Stiles’ nervous smile turned into a shocked grin and he crashed his lips against hers again, their warm bodies melting into each other.

After a few more minutes of uninterrupted passionate making out, Stiles lightly pushed Y/N away and sent her a reassuring glance before seating himself on the bed beside her. She looked confused and even a little hurt which quickly made him ramble. “I didn’t want to stop I promise! I mean it was good, really really good actually, better than good, I’ve been dreaming about doing that since junior year, cause you really have the prettiest lips Y/N, they’re perfect and-”

“-Stiles?” Y/N cut him off and he immediately stopped talking, gulping down the last of his words.

“Breathe,” she instructed softly, instantly making him feel more confident. He inhaled deeply and resumed his sentence.

“I’m sorry for stopping it, but I think we should talk about this, before doing anything else.”

“Okay.” she nodded. “Where do we start?”

“You’re engaged Y/N…”

Her smile immediately dropped when she heard those words and she dropped her eyes to the floor. “I know.”

Neither of them said anything, but his heart was racing and he was sure she could hear it thump loudly against his chest. Finally, she spoke.

“I don’t know how to do this. I loved Alec, but then for some reason, I kissed you and it felt like…like I’d never actually loved anyone before. I don’t know how to explain it Stiles, it’s just-…”

“-like breathing for the first time?” She looked up at him, obviously startled by his comment.

-“Actually yeah.”

-“That’s what it felt like for me too. Look, you know me, I’ve dated girls. I’ve dated Malia, and Lydia, and that girl Sydney in college-,”

-“-the one with the Happy Days tattoo on her shoulder?”

-“Wait you remember that?”

“How could I have forgotten? We made fun of you for months after you broke up.” she laughed.

“Right…” he nodded, a huge beam on his face. “The point is, I’ve dated before. I’ve kissed and had sex and gone out with girls but it never felt just right. It was like something was always missing. But right now, it’s not missing anymore.”

He finished his sentence and quickly realized she was blushing intensely, making him do the same at once.

“Oh god, I can’t believe I just said that right now…” he whispered, as a self-conscious grin formed itself on his face.

“Stiles, I’m terrified right now. Of this, of what it means, of tomorrow. But we’ve got tonight, we’ve already gone this far, so why stop now?”

Y/N started to lean forward when he spoke and made her stop dead in her tracks.

“What if we have longer?” he inquired, mostly to himself.

“What do you mean?”

“Forget tonight, we have our whole lives ahead of us. Y/N, we don’t need to stop now, we don’t need to stop ever! We could do this every day, we could do this for the rest of our lives!”

“Stiles are you saying that you want us to be together?”

“I’m not just saying that.”

“Stiles….”

“No think about it. You don’t have to marry Alec we could build the life we’ve always wanted together, the life I’ve always dreamed of living with you. We could, nothing’s standing in our way!” Stiles said excitedly, looking into her eyes with pure bliss written all over his face.

“You want that? You want that with me?”

“I want that and more. We could leave LA, burn our bridges here and start over somewhere else, like the suburbs? I could see if the FBI has any openings in New York and we could buy one of those beautiful houses with the tire swings in the backyard and the hardwood floors you’ve always dreamed of having. And you could set up an office at home for your own architectural firm, the one you’ve always said you’d start in your twenties.

“We could have kids. We could build a family and have beautiful children together. We could have two girls and a boy. Beth, Halley and James? Or we could call them anything you like, as long as they’re ours to name. We could have a little grill in the garden and organize a monthly BBQ for our neighbors and friends. We could start sharing movie night with our kids, force them to watch all of the Star Wars movies and you could make them see the classics. I could make you my legendary chicken parmigiana you love so much once a week and you could bake those delicious cookies you always made when we you teenagers, the one with the dried raisins.

"We could shove unnecessary information down our children’s throats at dinner just so they could have interesting stuff to tell everyone else and seem like annoying know-it-alls. We could embarrass them in front of their boyfriends and girlfriends and discuss the birds and bees with them when they’re old enough. We could save money for our kids to go to college and we could cry in each other’s arms when they leave. We could retire together and start traveling through Europe. We could see the Colosseum and eat pizza in Rome, we could walk along the Seine in the middle of the night in Paris, we could share those delicious Belgian waffles in Brussels at the Grand Place. We could go to Spain and see Seville where you’ve always wanted to go. We could make love on the Greek beaches under the stars, we could see everything you’ve always wanted to see.

"We could grow old together, I could walk our daughters’ down the aisle and you could straighten our boy’s tie on his wedding day. We could celebrate our 30th anniversary having grown old together, and we could watch our kids have children of their own. We could have this life together Y/N, we could.”

Stiles had just talked uninterrupted for the past three minutes and he hadn’t even realized that his eyes had started welling up, his lips curled into a loving smile. Y/N’s mouth was agape and fat tears rolled down her cheeks as he finished his earnest monologue.

“Y/N?” he asked, suddenly unsure of his previous words. She slowly wiped her tears and suddenly flashed him an emotional smile.

“Could we have a dog too? Maybe call him Bailey?

Stiles beamed and threw his arms around Y/N, pushing her against the bed and covering her body with his, placing excited kisses all over her face, neck and chest. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” he whispered over and over again against her soft skin and she smiled widely, feeling his dishevelled hair with her gentle fingers as he did.

Hours had passed and it was 1 am. Y/N and Stiles had cleaned up his apartment completely, throwing the last of the trash in the black plastic bags stacked next to the front door. The pizza boxes had been placed inside the trash bags as well and all had been sealed shut. The laundry had been assembled and placed inside the small washing machine in the bathroom. Stiles had thrown out the perished goods from his fridge, including the beer cans and Y/N had started to wipe the kitchen counter when he pressed himself against her and placed light kisses along the nape of her neck, wrapping his arms around her waist. She moaned quietly and slightly turned her head in his direction, letting him kiss her fully on the lips this time. The warmth between them was comfortable and passionate all at once. One of her hands was in his hair again, delicately scratching his scalp and scruff and his nails were slowly digging into her soft flesh as she pushed her tongue into his mouth. They stayed like that for a while, kissing each other against the counter and exploring each other’s bodies with their hands. After a while, they reluctantly let go of each other and sat down on the couch in the living room in front of the tv where they popped in a movie. “What are we watching tonight?” asked Y/N smiling up at him.

“What do you wanna watch?” he asked her mischievously.

“I’m not sure it’s really that important considering I’m probably not going to watch it anyway.”

He raised his eyebrows and grinned smugly as he bent down to kiss her again when her whisper stopped him.

“What movie Stiles?” He groaned and shrugged.

“Star Wars.”

“No!” exclaimed Y/N with a laugh as she straightened her back.

-“Why not?”

-“Because we watch it all the time!”

-“We haven’t watched it in months!”

-“Oh come on, yes we have.”

“No, we haven’t, we haven’t had movie night since you got engaged.” Stiles regretted the words he had said the second he said them and he shut her eyes letting his head fall.

“I’m sorry I shouldn-”

“-where’s my phone?” she cut him off, suddenly looking everywhere but him.

“Y/N-…”

“-where’s my phone?” Y/N seemed to ask herself as she got up and started looking around the room.

“Why do you need your phone?” he inquired with a hoarse voice, afraid of already knowing the answer.

She ignored his question and bent down, grabbing her phone from the floor right underneath the coffee table.

“9 missed calls,” she mumbled to herself, the previous smile completely erased from her beautiful face.

“Y/N…”

“He called me, Alec called me nine times and I didn’t answer. He sent me texts too. And he left me two voicemails as well.”

“Y/N, remember our plans? Remember the waffles and the beaches in Greece?”

“I have Alec,” Y/N muttered, her eyes gazing into nothing as she started to wake up from the dream she’d been living in for the last few hours.

“Hey, you have me, okay? We can start all over, we were gonna go to New York remember?” Stiles said, starting to feel panic rise in his chest as he got up and walked towards her. She finally looked at him and her eyes welled up.

“Stiles, I can’t. I’m engaged. All those things, I’m supposed to be doing them with Alec.”

“You’re not supposed to do anything. Hey, stop it,” he told her, placing a hand on her cheek as he noticed the salty droplets of water leave the confines of her eyes. She immediately jerked away and pain erupted in his abdomen.

-“Y/N…”

-“I can’t just give up on him, I can’t break my promises to him on impulse like this.”

-“Yes, yes you can, come on Y/N, he deserves someone who loves him back.”

-“I do though, I love him. Otherwise, I never would’ve said yes when he asked me to marry me…”

“You don’t love him, not like you love me.” Stiles was getting desperate, his sight started to blur as tears filled his eyes.

-“Stiles, I can’t do this.”

-“Please, stop, breathe, we were fine a minute ago.”

-“It wasn’t real.”

“What?” he asked harshly.

“It wasn’t real, Stiles, real life is not in fucking La La Land, okay we have people who depend on us, our families, our pack, I have a fiancé-…”

“-a fiancé you just fucking cheated on!” he exclaimed, not even bothering to hold back the tears as he did.

“Y/N please stop this. Don’t go back to him, stay with me,” he pleaded with his shredded voice.

“I’m sorry Stiles…” Y/N choked out, shaking her head as she started to step backwards.

Stiles reached out and tried to grab her hand but she didn’t let him and lunged for her purse in what seemed like under a second.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again.

“Hey stop! What about tonight, what about us? What about what we said?” Stiles cried out, the vein in his forehead popping out furiously with every harsh beat of his heart. Tears were streaming down his face when Y/N’s back hit the front door.

“It was wrong of me,” she muttered, regret clouding her voice.

“We said we’d have forever,” the devastated man said with a broken voice, ignoring her last remark. He approached her slowly, his humid eyes burning into her own before crashing his lips onto hers. She moaned loudly and tugged at his sweater being rewarded with a whimper as he tried to desperately hold on to her. The kiss was wet this time and it was bittersweet, as it marked the end of their beautiful fantasy.

“Forever can only last for one night,” she answered sweetly before pushing him off of her trembling body and exiting his home.

How did we get here?

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[microsuedemouse]

HEY HO

WERE YOU WONDERING WHAT GWEN’S APARTMENT IN RAH LOOKS LIKE?

I had some floorplan sketches (close to this, though not exact) but when I went to draw rooms in perspective I discovered that I’d gotten... very rusty with that kind of thing. So I decided I’d hop into Google SketchUp and put the place together quickly for my own reference. It’s missing some details (mostly due to me just forgetting) but it’s kinda fun I thought? Good ref for me to keep my writing consistent and for anyone who wants to draw anything here, me included

I’m gonna make some tweaks to this yet but if you want any other angles (or even access to the file), or if you have any questions, hit me up! I’ve thought way too much about this.

Quick notes here and more detail under the cut:

All of the furnishings are from the 3D Warehouse - it’s been a long time since I used SketchUp much and I’m not THAT skilled any more, lol. I edited some colours and sizes but that’s about it.

I know it’s a bit big to really be realistic... I have excuses.

it’s a fanfic, guys.

floorplans are hard. the bedrooms and living room were actually supposed to be a smidge smaller but scaling is tough and this program is a bit of a hassle at times.

it’s cheap bc it’s in a shoddy neighbourhood and totally lacks storage? or something?? idfk

LET’S JUST SAY THIS ISN’T PERFECTLY TO SCALE OKAY I only meant it as a guideline

(Many) room-by-room details and goofy headcanons/trivia below:

Outdoor-

the hall is an outdoor one, like you get in a lot of motels. going out the front door, the stairs are a few units to the left. this apartment is on the third floor of five.

the units are arranged symmetrically, so the balcony has one wall to divide it from the one on the other side. in the other direction they might occasionally see their neighbours out on their own balcony, but they’re two bedroom-widths apart, so it’s not too bad.

eventually David buys a couple more chairs for the balcony so they can all sit out there. to Gwen’s surprise, he really likes the urban view, even if he misses the trees and nature he can see from home or camp.

Front hall-

coming in the front door, the bathroom’s on the left and there are hooks on the wall to the right for coats and things. shoes are generally left under those. it’s usually kind of a mess.

Bathroom-

I meant to put a mirror over the sink but I forgot lmao

the bathtub is too small for Gwen or David to really use for a ‘nice’ bath (they would have to be sitting up), but it works for Max bc he’s tiny

the plumbing kiiinda sucks - not enough to be REALLY off-putting but enough to notice

Kitchen-

this is all after David’s moved in, so his table is there, making the whole space a bit more usable

the decor is kind of dated (the stove is yellow and so is the backsplash), the blue cushions on David’s bench seats don’t really match, but it’s all functional

another thing I forgot to include: Gwen kept the three chairs from her old table and put them around the outside of David’s table, just in case they needed them.

the kitchen doorway is open, with no door in it

the microwave is to the left of the stove; other appliances (toaster, kettle, coffee maker, etc) kind of clutter the space to the left, around the sink. Gwen always just shoved things back into the corner if they were in her way, but David starts putting them away when they’re not in use, because he likes having space to move when he’s cooking.

Living room-

the purple chair is Gwen’s. the corner shelf is overflowing with books. They pushed the tv stand over a bit to fit David’s green chair in there too.

there’s a shitty lamp on the side table next to the couch, which is also where Gwen dumps things like take-out menus and notebooks and stuff. David often puts them away while tidying up and as a result Gwen never knows where any of her shit has gone.

when the couch-bed is in couch form, the coffee table (David’s, way nicer than Gwen’s old one) is pushed up closer to it, leaving some space between there and the tv stand. Max and Gwen sit there while playing video games, or they perch on the end of the bed if it’s pulled out.

(Much later, after David moves into Gwen’s room and the couch is back in couch form almost all of the time, they buy Max a beanbag chair for gaming)

fun trivia: that tv model I used has a still from M*A*S*H onscreen, which led me to imagining Gwen and David watching M*A*S*H in the afternoons... I love

there are no blinds or curtains or anything over the sliding door for the longest time. in the winter the living room starts to get pretty cold and David buys a nice heavy set of curtains to keep the heat in - he doesn’t mind the morning light but the temperature starts to be a problem.

Gwen’s room-

for some reason I could not edit that particular bed model’s colours? I imagine her bed is always that messy but her bedding is shades of purple, not grey.

I forgot to rotate the mirror in the corner to not be at a stupid angle... I also forgot to include the garment rack I imagine she has, in want of a closet. the object across from the end of her bed is a tall dresser.

once David (eventually) starts sharing her room, they move his wardrobe in next to her dresser, get a second bedside table, and find a longer desk they can both use at once. the room’s a bit crowded by then, but it’s workable.

there should be a laundry hamper somewhere idk

Gwen leaves her stuff in piles all the time by nature but David’s pretty tidy. eventually she starts learning to pick up after herself just so she knows where her stuff has gone. because if he puts it away she might never find it.

Max’s room-

he’s not wild about sharing the space with David but he makes it work. once he eventually gets his own computer they have to coordinate desk time. (Max gets priority if it’s homework-related.)

additionally: once Max has his own computer, David remembers Max’s search engine habits and puts parental controls on there. Max hates them. David forgets how to use them immediately after installation and Gwen is the one who has to figure them out and monitor them in the future.

Max doesn’t have much stuff with him at first (as you all know) but over the years he covers the walls in posters and stuff that Nikki and Neil have sent him (and later Maureen, as well, once he comes to like her more). 

once David’s moved into Gwen’s room and has his own desk/moves his wardrobe out, Max’s furniture situation also changed over time. he gets a bookshelf (mostly for movies and games, more than books) and later his own armchair, plus he keeps his beanbag chair in there when he’s not using it in the living room.

the rug came from Maureen. she thought his room could use a little something bright, especially given the bland paint job in the apartment. he loves it but he’ll never tell her.

he’s a nester and a pillow-hoarder. any time Gwen or David replace their pillows he takes over the old ones, adding to the pile of softness that is his bed (and eventually his floor). he also aggregates blankets over the years, though at a slower rate. his whole room is very comfy, actually.

[ask-republicofcroatia]

Ooc:. Its time to talk about ocs and appearances!!

"Mika stop." Everyone around me pleas and cries with worry for my sanity "SYM-BOL-ISM!" I scream with a tin foil hat on my head while hitting pots and pans. Suddenly a spaceship appears with the word symbolism written on it. Stunned silence commences "Strap on motherf******." Yes my sanity is slowly slipping away. .: Croatia :. Hair:. Her natural hair is medium-dark brown. Its a very nice chocolate-y colour. Many years ago it was pure blonde due to the fact that she is a slavic country which are characterized by having light hair and eyes. And the highlights are just her way of trying to prove she is modern. Her hair represents the sea side in Croatia therefore Italy likes to touch it because historically Italians always wanted our sea side (she hates when people touch it) and its relatively dry naturally due to the fact that the sea side has dry land also thanks to Italy her hair has a wavy texture. On the other hand her eyebrows are a bit naturally darker than her hair and pretty thick with a good arch, they are darker because of turkish influence. Eyes:. The eye colour she has in a nice blueish green colour just like the sea. Her eye colour remained the same since she was a child leaving it very visible that she is a slav country. The shape of her eyes is a roundish almond with sharp edges but they are not very big. She has a lot of eyelashes but they ain't long. Skin.. Throughout history her skin was either tan or pale depending on the time period and her general role in it (royalty, soldier, commoner, etc). Her skin can tan very easily and nowadays it mostly remains in a slight tan. Her skin is full of moles (not freckles) as it is very common for people to have skin full of moles. They represent the thousands of islands that are a part of our shore. Also the tattoos you can find refs for them on the blog just scroll if you haven't seen em .: Bosnia :. Hair:. His hair is very dark brown naturally its lighter than Sadik (Turkey) but darker then Tamara. However he is chasing his old days of power because of his misery so he dyes his hair blond like it used to be when he was younger which in turn results into his hair being very damaged but the colour is very intense yellow so its obvious that its not natural. He also can't afford to re-dye it professionally very often and it usually has roots showing. The length of his hair is mid neck and often times its very messy and shaggy he will however style it on important events and meeting. He is very hairy like most men in the Balkan mostly on his chest and arms he regularly shaves his face though. Much like Tamara his eyebrows are also a bit darker then his natural hair and his don't have a good arch like hers. In the spirit of hetalia I also gave him an ahoege like Austrias but much smaller to represent Austrian influence Eyes:. Like Croatias eyes his also remained light throughout the years but his got a more grey tone to them. The reason to them being blue-grey is connected to water. Bosnia in itself means water so its obviously a very important component to the country. The shape of his eyes is more round and bigger in comparison to Tamara and they have sharp edges and he actually has very long and full eyelashes. Skin:. In terms of this he has one of the tannest skin tones in Balkan again because Turkey. Like Tamara his skin tone also varied in history but he was always darker then her by comparison. He has two very visible scars on his face across his nose and from the bottom of his jaw across his cheek almost reaching his eye. I'm not sure how related this is to skin its more like a facial feature but he has dimples that represent the two biggest ponds in Bosnia. Considering: I wanna put tattoos on him but he is a muslim and thats against their beliefs but Bosnia is not a country that 100% follows the rules of Islam and I read that some sort of tattoos are allowed like words but I am not too sure about that. .: Serbia :. Hair:. Right off the bat unlike Omer and Tamara his hair was always dark brown. There is turkish influence present in Serbia obviously but I didn't want it to be his hair like with the other two instead its more present in his face but thats not for this post. He is the hairiest of them all he has to shave every day and his chest, arms and legs are a forest (save him). His hair is cut like an undercut but he let the shaved part go longer in recent years. The small grey part of his hair was inspired a bit by the main boy in Catcher in the Rye on one side his hair is going grey partly because age and because I believe when Yugoslavia was falling apart Serbia was the most stressed by it (hair goes grey from stress too) Eyes:. The idea I had behind this is gonna be hard to explain but oh boy here I go. They look like a wolfs eyes. If you look up wolf eyes you can see they are very round and have a crease (??) on the bottom corner of the eye (the one near the nose) thats how I imagine his eyes. I also imagine him having a very predatory look in his eyes but he learned to control it in the recent years so he can look more friendly, I also believe Turkey was scared of the way his eyes looked lmao. The colour of his eyes is green but it also has a golden tint to which is common for wolf especially in the country. Skin:. I actually think he is the second palest person form Yugoslavia. This is mostly due to the fact that he wast the most royal out of all of them so he spent more time inside not being able to tan. As well as the fact that Russia had a lot of influence on him so it helped in the pale department. Nowadays I imagine him having some awkward tans especially in summer lmao. .: Montenegro :. Hair:. Definantelly has the darkest hair its pure black due to his name which literally has the word black in it c'mon. The length is very short and very messy like he just got out of bed. He also never had any changes to his hair colour. Like Serbia he is very hairy especially on his chest and legs. Thick brows and high arch to make his face look scarier/stricter. Eyes:. He has a very tired look like he never got enough sleep but he also has big eyes its just the sleep deprivedness makes them look smaller. *The colour of them is light blue because of the sea. * I might change the specific shade of it because I'm gonna see the sea of Montenegro myself in a few days so ye Skin:. He is probably the tannest one due to how his warrior behaviour always made him stay outside. Like Tamara he also has lots of moles/sun spots but much much less than her. One very visible scar on his cheek. .: Macedonia :. Hair:. From ancient Greek/Macedonian influence she has curly hair and she is the only person with properly curly hair in Yugoslavia. She also has cute bangs. The colour of her hair is reddish-brown due to the wine they have there and in recent years she also got a small purple ombre at the ends of her hair (because its the colour of grapes and I am in love with a certain idols hair). She also has thick eyebrows but no arch. Also always has poppy flowers in her hair that she will style differently but will always have a minimum of 6 flowers in her hair. Eyes:. Her eyes are brown because everyone gives Mace blue or green eyes and I don't feel like jumping on a bandwagon. No seriously I have no reason (yet!) for her brown eyes other than its the most usual eye colour. Her eye shape is round and small and her eyelashes are big and curly to emphasize the fact that she is the youngest lmao. Skin:. Her skin is tanned due to Greek and Turkish influence and she has all the standards the others had .: Slovenia :. Hair:. Like the outcast he is (and wants to be) he has dirty blonde/light brown hair its also a bit wavy like Tamaras but he styles it unlike the rest of the boys on a daily basis. The length reaches the bottom of his neck almost. And like Bosnia he has an ahoege to represent Austrian influence but his makes him angry cuz he can't style it no matter what. He is the only one that remained blondeish throughout their years of influences. Also the only one with thinner eyebrows but a mean arch cuz Croatia. The least hairy one but its unknown if he just naturally doesn't grows a lot of hair or he removes it Eyes:. He has sharp strict looking eyes that are almond shaped. He enjoys wearing glasses but he doesn't really need them. The colour of his eyes are honey because of the honey production there. Skin:. The actual palest guy thanks to Austria and also has trouble tanning unlike the rest. I didn't mention scars a lot in this post but he has the least amount because he mostly stayed in the house even in Austro-Hungarian times. Has one beauty mark under his eye.

[gildedalchemist]

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Well then! I actually have some downtime so im doing this. Post was from a while ago but i saved it for when I have time. I’m not gonna answer a number of these fully bc thats TOO much sharing, but I’ll answer as many as i can.

1. What is you middle name?not answering this one

2. How old are you?24

3. When is your birthday?August 25th

4. What is your zodiac sign?Virgo

5. What is your favorite color?Royal Purple, though I like many shades of lighter purples nowadays

6. What’s your lucky number?Yup, 2. If not 2, then 8.

7. Do you have any pets?I have a family dog at home, hes a labradoodle named Sebastian

8. Where are you from?Southern California

9. How tall are you?I like to think I’m 6 feet tall, but im just short of that I think

10. What shoe size are you?11 US Mens, which i think is 14 in womens? I forget the conversion, and it’s damn near impossible to find anything in my size in that department.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?enough that I’ve lost count

12. What was your last dream about?hanging out with @the-senor-sperm​, Xavier

13. What talents do you have?I don’t believe in talent. Nobody starts good at anything, it’s all skills that must be trained and maintained.

14. Are you psychic in any way?I have very good gut reactions when I first meet people, generally. It has almost never steered me wrong, especially when it comes to my personal safety. If someone is not to be trusted, I generally know pretty quickly.

15. Favorite song?I’m not sure right now, I’ve been introduced to a lot of new music in the last year and I have a hard time choosing.

16. Favorite movie?Clue!

17. Who would be your ideal partner?Someone who challenges me to be the person I want to be. Someone I can trust with my thoughts and feelings. Someone I can spend my time with and be okay when all else is crumbling. Someone I love. Someone who would sit up with me while I’m deliriously I’ll, and make sure I’m drinking water, and eating, particularly microwave cup ramen. ;P

18. Do you want children?I dunno. I used to. I used to feel like I wanted to prove I could be a better parent, but I don’t feel that need, nor do I want that to be my reason anymore. I just want to live and be happy with my partner. Whatever happens after that, will be decided when the time comes.

19. Do you want a church wedding?Oof. I dunno. The thought is nice but I don’t know if the church would be cool with the wedding I’d wanna have ówò;;;  

20. Are you religious?Not really at the moment. I want to believe in something, but that something has no form for me right now.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yes, I’ve even had surgery! (on my sinuses, im fine now!)

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Not really

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Nope, unless you count internet celebrities, which I dont really. I met Arin Hanson before I knew who he even was.

24. Baths or showers?Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing?white

26. Have you ever been famous?lmao nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?No, i don’t like that kind of pressure

28. What type of music do you like?little bit of everything, though i do quite like electronic stuff

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?nope, but if i ever have my own pool and could do so without peeking neighbors, i’d consider it.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?2 usually, but i only have 1 right now because reasons

31. What position do you usually sleep in?either on my side if the bed is real soft, or on my stomach.

32. How big is your house?its pretty decently sized, but I’m living in a dorm right now and not at my parents house

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?nothing

34. Have you ever fired a gun?Yes. I wasnt a fan. I didnt like how easy it is to just point and kill, and i especially hate that people think having that power is a right that should be protected like it is.

35. Have you ever tried archery?yes i have. I enjoyed it from a skill aspect

36. Favorite clean word?spaghetti. its real fun to say

37. Favorite swear word?i like saying chucklefuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?about 40 hours. I’ve never done 2 consecutive all nighters. at that point, i start to pass out when i blink.

39. Do you have any scars?Yes, I have one on my shoulder and lower back from the same injury, one on my knee and shin from unrelated incidents, and scars on my hands, face, and shoulders from injuries and acne over the years

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?If I did, they kept it a pretty good secret. Or not. I am quite oblivious in that regard. Its hard when you just assumed for years that youre unloveable.

41. Are you a good liar?I used to be but not much anymore

42. Are you a good judge of character?Almost always

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?Nope, it is embarassing for me to even try

44. Do you have a strong accent?people say they dont notice an accent from me until i say certain words, like dude, or awesome.

45. What is your favorite accent?New Zealand accents are a hoot

46. What is your personality type?Timid, but caring

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?honestly not sure. most of my stuff isnt that expensive. by original cost probably a cashmere sweater, but I bought it at a thrift shop. 

48. Can you curl your tongue?yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?innie

50. Left or right handed?right

51. Are you scared of spiders?somewhat, but I dont react as badly as I used to at the sight of them. only if they touch me.

52. Favorite food?spaghetti? pizza? Xaviers cooking? hard to say

53. Favorite foreign food?sushi!

54. Are you a clean or messy person?clean in many ways, except for my room

55. Most used phrased?“aww, gay.”

56. Most used word?at this point, probably “fuck”

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?if im in a hurry, minutes, if im not, hours.

58. Do you have much of an ego?I can, but i’m working on it. I dont think I do though.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Bite

60. Do you talk to yourself?Usually, mostly to walk myself through things

61. Do you sing to yourself?Rarely

62. Are you a good singer?I think i’m better than i used to be, but im not great

63. Biggest Fear?Losing my best friends. I lost one in a very bad way, I cant stand the thought of losing more.

64. Are you a gossip?Once i got to university I became one, but I didnt used to be. Thats just kinda the environment I’m in. I feel like if i didnt people wouldnt trust me as much or even at all.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?i dunno, im not sure what constitutes “dramatic”

66. Do you like long or short hair?on me, Long. I cant stand how ive looked with short hair anymore. On other people I have no preference.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Fuck no lmao

68. Favorite school subject?Chemistry, after that Psych or English

69. Extrovert or Introvert?Extrovert with anxiety that makes me present like an introvert, i think is what ive settled on

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?nope

71. What makes you nervous?So many things oh my god

72. Are you scared of the dark?Yes

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?I do for some people but it is seen as inappropriate to others, and in some cases makes people think im trying to be superior, so I try not to anymore unless asked. Its not my place, unless they want to be corrected.

74. Are you ticklish?Don’t fuckin touch me. I am but I’ll bite.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?No. I had too many false rumors started about me, I wouldnt do that to someone else unless it was true and people needed to know the truth.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?Sort of? I’ve been in classrooms and worked with kids, so i’ve been in situations where they answer to me, but I’ve never really been the main figure head so I’d say no overall.

77. Have you ever drank underage?yes

78. Have you ever done drugs?yes

79. Who was your first real crush?Honestly? I dont even know anymore. I know I had some, but what counts as “real”? I’d guess the one that lead to my first relationship. that was in 2011.

80. How many piercings do you have?none

81. Can you roll your Rs?“nope

82. How fast can you type?pretty fast

83. How fast can you run?I can run pretty fast but only for short bursts now.

84. What color is your hair?brown

85. What color is your eyes?blue-green

86. What are you allergic to?a variety of weeds, trees, grasses, molds, and dust mites

87. Do you keep a journal?not physically. what i post online and in recordable formats count as my journal, so i may look back on what ive said.

88. What do your parents do?my mom is a housewife, my dad works in law

89. Do you like your age?y...yes?? what does this even mean?

90. What makes you angry?injustice and unfairness

91. Do you like your own name?Not my full name, I like my first name’s shortening, so thats why i go by Matt

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Only John. To honor his memory, and all that he did for me. He set me on the path to become who I am.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?I want my kid to decide that for themself, if I ever have one.

94. What are you strengths?Tenacity

95. What are your weaknesses?Cowardice

96. How did you get your name?My dad named me after his best friend first, then his karate instructor for middle

97. Were your ancestors royalty?not to my knowledge

98. Do you have any scars?wasnt this #39?

99. Color of your bedspread?light blue

100. Color of your room?the one at home is sort of yellowish i think. the room i’m in right now is white.