#am i usually a rugby girl? not at all

[singsweetmelodies]

now on rugby world cup lockdown

[moonstruckme]

rooomate james. 😭😭 literally obsessed w himm!!

Me too I love him (and you!) sm <3

part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13

roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 808 words

You don’t recognize James’ car until he shouts at you. 

“Hey!” 

You give a little jump, turning midair to find James smiling out the rolled-down window. 

“Want a lift?” 

“God, you scared me!” You backtrack and open the passenger door. The seat looks to have been tidied in a hurry, receipts and takeaway containers tossed into the backseat. “How’d you even know I’d need a ride?” 

James refrains from responding to give you an expectant look. You roll your eyes and buckle your seatbelt. Satisfied, he puts the car in reverse, setting his hand on your seat to look behind him as he backs out of the parking spot. 

“You weren’t home when I got there,” he says, “and then I remembered on Sundays you usually get off at eleven, so here I am. Is Art not with you?” 

“No, he wasn’t working tonight.” 

James doesn’t seem too disappointed by this. He pulls onto the street. You watch him, looking almost unconsciously for signs of wear and tear. 

Now that rugby season is in full swing, he’s gone not just during the day for training but sometimes overnight for away games. You’ve been alone in your apartment for the whole weekend while he played in London and then Bristol. It was weird. You think you’ve accidentally grown used to having James around. You don’t fancy yourself a very tactile person, and the urge to hug him isn’t terribly strong, but it’s there. 

“How was work?” he asks you. 

“It was fine. How were your matches?” 

“They were fine,” he imitates you, grinning. “No, it’s like I said. Winning the second one’s always better than winning the first and losing the second. It’s nice to end on a good note.”

He’d texted continual updates while he was gone. You sat on your couch, pretending to yourself or perhaps to some invisible, judgemental observer that you were watching TV when really you were entirely focused on James’ texts. You imagined him sitting in his hotel room doing the same, or maybe in a pub with his teammates, smiling at his phone each time you responded. 

Your imagination has become terribly overindulgent lately. 

“Honestly, I was pretty disappointed you weren’t home when I got there,” James says, a familiar teasing lilt to his voice. “I was hoping to come in and catch you wearing one of my jumpers and staring tearily at a framed photo of me.” 

You roll your eyes, but your face burns. You did use his shampoo, once. In your defense, you’d run out of yours, but you thought that it wouldn’t be so bad to smell like him, nice and fresh and comforting. It had foamed more than you expected. It did smell really nice, but it made your hair feel dry (boy shampoo always does that, you’ve no idea how James’ curls seem to thrive under such poor treatment) and you felt silly about it for days, lovesick in the most derogatory sense. 

Didn’t stop you from sniffing your hair occasionally, though. 

“You weren’t gone to war,” you reply. “And where would I get a framed photo of you?” 

James looks affronted. “I assumed you already had one. How did you get through the weekend without even a photo? You brave, brave girl.” 

“I actually threw a rager,” you deadpan. “Rented out your room to six people traveling through with the carnival and let them invite over all their friends. Did loads of hard drugs.” 

“Well, we all have different ways of coping.” He reaches over to squeeze your shoulder consolingly. You pretend goosebumps don’t skitter all the way down your arm from the brief touch. “And what a marvelous job you’ve done covering up your escapades!” He exclaims as you pull up in front of the apartment. “I haven’t come across the cocaine dust on our bathroom counter yet, so you must have really done a thorough cleanup.” 

“Keep looking, it’s around there somewhere.” 

James laughs. You’re slower getting out of the car than he is, and by the time you emerge he’s in front of you, pulling you into a hug. You think your bones liquefy. He’s warm and strong and he smells like his shampoo, both arms squishing you heartily before he lets go with a little laugh. 

“Sorry,” he says, bringing his hands to your upper arms, “I didn’t even ask. I just missed you, you know?” James has this look on his face, smile brilliant and eyes wide open. So saccharine sweet you almost can’t look at him. “Guess I got used to having you around.” 

You do your best to smile back. “Yeah, me too.” 

He squeezes your arms before turning to go inside. “You smell like Italian food, too. I don’t suppose you’ve cooked anything recently that’s still in the fridge? I’m beginning to think about second dinner.” 

[barcaatthemoon]

rugby girl || lucy bronze x reader ||

lucy introduces you to her teammates, and they all very quickly come to the same conclusion.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

you really did hate seeing lucy so worked up. the woman was rarely ever nervous about anything, and yet, she was a wreck over the idea of you meeting her teammates. the two of you had been together for a long time, far too long for neither of your friends nor families to have been introduced. you had accidentally run into a couple of her teammates before, but that was really it.

"luce," you whined as you pulled her onto your lap. it was easy to manuever her to straddle your thigh as you sat on the couch. lucy grumbled a little about getting the apartment ready, but she made no moves to stop you as you pulled her down to grind against you. "relax. i am more than happy to help if you can't."

"i am relaxed, i swear," lucy told you. you nearly laughed at the way that she had said it. her jaw was clenched and her teeth were grit together so close that you swore it had to hurt a little. still, lucy was insistent that she was fine up until the moment that your hands ran over her thighs.

lucy melted into your touch in the same way she had at least a hundred times before. you let your hands inch up further and further until they had slipped beneath the bottom hem of her shorts. lucy spread her legs a little wider and lifted her hips up to let you tug her shorts down.

"i thought you had to get the apartment ready," you teased. "isn't there so much to do?"

"i need to change, this is helping," lucy mumbled against your lips. you smiled into another kiss. lucy was always a little pushy with her kisses, but the teasing remarks died as soon as you felt her arousal against your fingers.

sex on the couch right before company wasn't an ideal situation, so you kicked lucy's shorts and underwear under the couch as you lifted her up. lucy let out a little squeal as she sank down onto your fingers. a rush of arousal was shot through lucy's body as she thought about the position that you had her in. your strength was nothing short of a turn-on for the english defender.

"fuck me, please," lucy began to beg as she started to bounce on your fingers. you let her use you to get off as you carried her back into the bedroom. lucy was quickly getting lost in her own pleasure. "(y/n)!"

"shh, it's okay." you sank down onto your knees in front of the bed that you had just laid lucy down on. her complaints were quickly quieted as your mouth replaced your fingers. you knew that it wouldn't be enough for long, and the next time that lucy opened her mouth, you slipped your fingers back inside of her.

your name fell from lucy's lips like a prayer as she grabbed your head and forced a little more pressure on her clit. you kept lucy on the edge, not giving her enough to cum until she asked for permission first. you got to sit back and watch her cum, two fingers working in and out of her at a relentless pace as your thumb toyed with her clit.

"come on now, we've got just enough time for a shower if you don't dawdle," you told her. lucy didn't want to move, so you helped her up onto her feet. the two of you were a bit rushed in getting ready, but lucy was out of the bedroom just in time to greet the first few of her teammates who were arriving.

the voices made you nervous, worse than lucy had been earlier. fucking lucy usually worked both ways, but now you were suddenly afraid of what they'd think of you. you were sure that they were all perfectly nice women, but you had always had a bit of trouble getting along with those of your own gender. you weren't exactly the most feminine of women, and growing up, it had been hard having to hear all of the backhanded compliments and straight insults about your appearance and body.

"i'm sure that (y/n) is on her way out. she usually doesn't take this long after a shower," lucy told her teammates. they were all very eager to meet you. there had been an obvious change in lucy's demeanor, and keira was especially interested of what could have caused it. she knew that it was definitely sex related, if only for the little extra swagger in lucy's normally cocky walk.

"where did the two of you meet?" ingrid asked.

"sport award show," lucy answered. she glanced back at the bedroom, relieved when she finally saw you begin to walk out. "oh, here she is. come on in babe. it's just alexia, mapi, ingrid, irene, keira, and sandra right now."

"hello," you greeted the group. you gave a small wave, unsure of what to think when mapi's jaw dropped. everybody sort of looked over at the tattooed defender in confusion until she spoke up.

"you, you're (y/n)," mapi said. you nodded slowly, unsure of how to proceed. "i, um, i am a fan. you are a badass, way too cool to be dating lucy."

"excuse me!" lucy exclaimed with a huff. you laughed as you pulled lucy into your arms for a kiss. she shrunk back a bit, which was when mapi seemed to notice something else. unfortuantely for lucy, keira also noticed it, but she was nice enough not to say anything.

"she's got you wrapped around her finger," mapi laughed. she had no room to talk, infamously whipped beyond recognition for ingrid. lucy was about to say something, but you stopped her with a small squeeze of your arms around her waist. "i like how you play, it's aggressive. lucy, is she so ag-,"

"mapi!" ingrid scolded with a sharp slap to mapi's chest.

"only when she's been bad," you answered. lucy's cheeks were burning bright red as her teammates dissolved into fits of laughter. "i'm going to get a drink. do you have something yet?"

"can you get my gatorade from the fridge?" lucy asked you. you nodded and ran off to go get it. you stayed in the kitchen for a little longer than you needed to just to let lucy's teammates give their first impressions of you.

"a rugby player? that's definitely not what i expected," ingrid said politely. you smirked a little to yourself, knowing exactly what they meant. lucy gave the impression to most people that she was effortlessly dominant. she had never been that way with you, not that you were complaining at all.

"i wasn't really either, but i'm happy that we're together. she's good for me," lucy said as she glanced over towards the kitchen.

"yeah, i can tell." lucy's gaze flicked over to keira, who was sitting on the couch with a warm smile on her face. their relationship had been long, far too long for them to just give everything up. their romantic feelings were long gone, but the trust and care in each other would never fade. lucy hoped that she could build that with you, but that she could do things differently.

eventually, you did make your way back to the living room again. more of lucy's teammates began to fill the apartment, and it felt like a party. they all seemed to have stories about lucy to tell, and you even offered a few of your own to everybody. with each of your own stories, you noticed the look in mapi's eyes as she stared intently and listened.

much to lucy's dismay, it was obvious that the two of you were going to become fast friends. in your eyes, mapi was just a physically smaller version of you. the two of you shared a lot of interests, and your spanish was much better than lucy's, so the two of you had quite a few little jokes going early. you were saddest to see her go at the end of the night, but only until lucy was pulling you back to the bedroom for some cuddling and drunken kisses.

"they all love you," lucy said happily. her tone quickly switched however as she mumbled the next part much louder than she had intended to, "but they all think i'm a bottom."

"you kind of are babe, but that's okay. i wouldn't want it any other way," you reassured her. lucy looked at you with completely lovestruck eyes before you pressed a kiss to her lips. it was crazy sometimes how easily you could wind her up or calm her down. "get some rest, okay? i'll make you breakfast in the morning."

"i love it when you cook for me," lucy mumbled into the side of your neck.

"i love you, luce."

"i love you too, ya big teddy bear." as if for emphasis, lucy gave you a big squeeze as she tugged you closer towards her.

[bruisedboys]

🎀 - send in a character + an au for a blurb! e.g rockstarleddie, rugby!james etc. add a prompt if you'd like

rockstar!eddie x shy!sound tech who he loves to flirt with. but only he’s allowed to <3

aerial i love u for this

summary: rockstar!eddie loves to flirt with you (and look after you)

shy!fem!reader 0.8k words

Eddie has this way of finding you wherever you are, even when you’re trying to hide from him. You’ve snuck away to the lobby of the venue his band is set to play at in a few hours. You need a break from all the sounds and commotion that come with being a part of the sound team. Your break doesn’t last very long.

The door to the main concert hall opens and even though you’re looking at your laptop, you know it’s Eddie because you can hear his jewellery jingling. He wears a lot of jewellery.

“Hi, pretty girl,” he says jovially. You don’t look up for fear of swooning on the spot. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Work,” you say quietly, even though you’re not working at all because your fingers have gone still over the keys at Eddie’s arrival.

“I thought you were taking a break.” You can hear Eddie’s frown. Again, you don’t look up because you think if you do, you’ll melt into a puddle.

“I am,” you insist.

Eddie sighs loudly. You know he’s not sighing at you, but for you. He’s always telling you to stop overworking yourself. You sometimes listen.

You’re still staring at your laptop screen when Eddie’s legs appear in front of you. His scent washes over you, cologne and musk and something metallic. He smells exactly like you’d expect a rockstar to smell like. His hand reaches out and he hooks a ring-clad finger under your chin, pushing gently, forcing you to look up.

When you finally look Eddie in the eyes you know how much of a mistake it is. He’s pretty, beautiful really, with his wild curly hair and his big dark eyes, his pale skin, tattoos peeking out from the edges of his clothing. You flush just looking at him. Then you remember his hand at your jaw and flush some more.

“Sweetheart,” he says sympathetically. A frown pulls at his pretty lips and you think you’d like to kiss it away, then immediately scold yourself for that rogue thought. Eddie ignores your flustered quiet, as usual. “You gotta stop taking on so much. There are other people to do some of the jobs you do. If you keep at it like this, you’ll make yourself sick, you know?”

You nod even though you don’t particularly agree. You like doing the jobs you do, you like making yourself so busy you barely have time to think. If you have too much time to think you’ll think about Eddie, and you really don’t want that.

“Can I sit with you?” He asks, as soft as you’ve ever heard him. “We don’t have to talk, if you don’t want to.”

You nod again and finally find your voice. “Okay.”

Eddie smiles, gives your jaw a squeeze and then plops down next to you. Again, you get a whiff of his heavy rockstar scent. It makes you dizzy in a good way.

Silence falls over the two of you. You don’t turn back to your laptop, because you know Eddie will protest. You sit and try not to breathe too loud, try not to let your leg touch Eddie’s or your hand brush over his thigh. It’s been all but two minutes before Eddie starts talking again. You hadn’t expected him to stay quiet for very long.

“You know …” he says slowly, and you brace yourself for what’s coming. “I saw you laughing at something Garrett said earlier. What was that all about?”

You’re so confused you forget all about his closeness and turn to look at him, quizzical. He’s looking at you in a way you don’t understand.

“What?” You ask, a bit surprised.

“Earlier!” Eddie says earnestly, as if trying to justify himself. “When we were waiting for the mics to come back on, and you and Garrett were talking and he said something, and you laughed real loud and— shit, I sound jealous don’t I?”

You gawp. He had sounded a little bit jealous, and that plus the look he’s giving you is enough to make your heart skip a beat. Eddie? Jealous because you’d laughed at his bandmate’s joke? You think maybe you’re dreaming.

“No!” You rush to say, after a too-long pause. “No, um. You didn’t.”

But Eddie groans and buries his face in his hands. “I so did.”

You don’t know what else to do so you put a tentative hand on his shoulder. He’s firm under your hand, strong. You’d like to touch him forever, you think.

“I didn’t really think his joke was funny,” you say shyly. “I just laughed so it wouldn’t be awkward.”

Eddie straightens up and whirls on you, your hand dropping from his shoulder. You miss his heat immediately but you’re quickly distracted by his knee pressing into your thigh.

“Really?” He asks, his eyes wide and too hopeful.

You giggle. “Well, yeah. It was an awful joke, Eddie.”

Eddie laughs now, a lovely chesty laugh, and you want to savour the sound forever.

“Please don’t tell him I said that,” you say quietly, even though you know he wouldn’t.

Eddie grins wolfishly. “Not a chance, sweetheart.”

[heinouscolette]

Study Muffin

Genderbent!Loud Siblings x Reader

Linka groans from the sight of her paper. Her test was marked with an F. She rests her head on the desk, defeated. “I don't get it, Claudia. Usually, I'm a good student but lately it's been all C's and D's and now an F.”

Claudia grabbed Linka’s test paper and grimaced at it. “Ugh, and a frowny face too. Girl, I cannot.” Claudia’s reply made Linka groan even more, disturbing others around them. “If I don't turn this around, I could fail fifth grade!”

“Linka, you can't! If I go to middle school without you, I could fall in with the wrong social group, and get frosted lips, and start being into bubble nails." Claudia shivered.

Linka just stared at her best friend blankly almost lost hope but she remembered she knew someone who could get her to tutor.

That is… no other than Levi!

“No.” Levi refused while staring blankly at his sister. The two siblings are at home. Linka approached her brother the first thing after she came home from school.

“But, Levi!” Linka whined, Levi is the only one who could help her right now as he is the prodigy intellectually among her brothers. With no way out, she tried to do puppy dog eyes at him to try and persuade her younger brother to give in and help her.

“Cute, but you really thought that would work on me? Sorry, Link. Unfortunately I am completely booked. I got math with Lars on Mondays, geology with Lynn on Tuesdays, finger painting with Leon on Wednesdays, et cetera et cetera." He showed Linka his schedule for the rest of the month which made the girl sigh.

“Oh, since you did the puppy eye thing, I’ll give you an advice. I've heard through the tutoring grapevine that some high school students tutor for extra credit.” With that, Levi turned to walk away from Linka.

“Hey, you said the puppy eye thing didn’t work!”

“Oh, pish-posh.” Levi grinned and left. At a distance, he could be heard yelling at Loni about being tardy with the Pre-Cal tutoring session.

Your phone dinged as someone sent you a message about being interested of booking you as a tutor. Finally, the time has come! You’ve been growing anxious about being a tutor. Although this isn’t the first time teaching another student, it’s still nerve-wracking since it’s a stranger this time.

It really wasn’t your idea to offer tutoring sessions but your friend suggested that it might be a good idea to build an image for college applications in the future.

You opened the message and found that you would be tutoring a fifth grader since she’s bound to flunk if she continues to fail the remedial. Your body relaxed a little knowing the lessons would be a bit easier to teach and nothing could go wrong.

You ringed the door bell to what you assumed the Loud Residence as this was the address the tutee gave you. Within a minute, a young girl with striking white hair opened the door for you and gave you a welcoming smile. “Hello, is this the Loud Residence?” you gave her your professional smile you practiced prior.

Her eyes glimmered and gave you an affirming nod. “Yep! You must be my tutor. I am Linka.”

After introducing yourself, she led you to their dining table and set up her textbooks. “I really appreciate this, (Y/n). I have a big multi-subject test coming up, and I need to ace it.”

You smiled at her, “I’m sure you’ll be able to ace it, but after thorough assessments from our sessions of course. So, I’ll do my best to help you.”

“And I thought that angels only exist in heaven.” Linka dramatically says while clenching her fist on top of her chest. You only laughed at her.

“So, I'm like, if you literally don't know the difference between rugby and football— Oh, Linka brought a new girl friend around.” A male voice spoke which caught both of your attention. His tone was a bit playful.

“Loki, get out! Can’t you see we’re studying here?” Linka hissed but the boy never faltered. “Oh really? This is our kitchen, Link. I can do whatever I want.” You turned to look at him as you can feel his presence between you and Linka. He ruffled Linka’s hair, satisfied at annoying his sister.

Must be a family of blondes. Loki has a common blonde hair compared to Linka. He also has a light stubble that complimented that growing smirk of his. He suddenly turned his head and made eye contact with you. “Don’t ogle too much, it’ll be harder to concentrate.” He grinned at you, but instead of being flustered, his comment only irked you.

“Wipe that smirk off your face before I do it for you.” You undoubtedly replied not thinking it through. You only came to your senses when it suddenly became quiet and Loki looked at you dumbfounded. Your cheeks became flushed and felt embarrassed. What were you doing in your first day of tutoring?!

You hanged your head low, mentally facepalming yourself. You’re sure Loki caught on about your reply. “Yeah, right! Give him an uppercut!” Linka instigated.

Yeah… an uppercut…

While looking down, you saw that Loki dropped his phone and handed it to him. “Loki, you dropped your phone.” However, when you looked up, you’re sure that his cheeks were tinted pink or maybe your eyes were just playing with you.

His silence broke Linka from her uppercut suggestions. “Loki, are you okay?”

Loki rubs the nape of his neck and trying to build “I uh… I am… I’m fi—“

“I heard a goose! I call dibs!" A young blonde came into view holding a net, however upon seeing you, he was a bit confused. “What’s a pretty stranger doing in this house?!”

“A what?” Another boy came into the kitchen. He’s wearing a clay mask and has cucumber slices in his eyes. He removes the slices and made eye contact with you. “AAH! MY FACE!”

Yep, a family of blondes. Your claim was disproven immediately when the rest of the siblings came into the kitchen probably curious about the commotion.

Ah… there are lots of them.

All of them started talking at the same time. Unfortunately, you can’t comprehend any of this as their voices became inaudible. You just stared at them amused of how this family caters a lot of siblings.

The one who cleansed his on-going skincare came back and greeted you. “Hey, guys. Oh, Linka, I didn't know you were entertaining. Hi. I'm Loni.” Is this guy for real? He acted as if he wasn't here minutes ago. You can’t help but let out a laugh about his silliness which caught the siblings’ attention.

You became self-conscious when they all stared at you. Their stares made you a bit shy. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Linka’s tutor, (Y/n). It’s nice to meet you all.” You nervously laugh.

“Ugh, could all of you please get out? We’re trying to study!” Linka snapped at them but the sibling with a crown pushed a chair between Linka and I, and sat, "It's a free country, Linka. We can go where we want to."

"I'm standing here!" The boy with the net stood next to you while smiling ear to ear. You're now trapped between these cuties. They resemble each other, must be twins.

"The heck you are!" The princely twin retorted, but before any punches were thrown you immediately disputed it. "Boys, I know you're interested in joining Linka and I, but she can't concentrate if eyes are observing her." You grabbed something from your purse

"And mouths yapping" Linka raised an eyebrow at his brothers.

"Yes- wait-, what I mean is she can't focus if there are distractions." You grabbed something from your purse. "Here, I'll give these to you since I'm hoping you'll behave accordingly." You handed each twin a lollipop and gave them a wink.

Their smiles grew wide and immediately shoved it in their mouths. "Roger that!" They saluted and walked away with puffed chests. You turned to the remaining brothers. "We'll just occupy the space for a couple of hours, if you don't mind."

"No problem, Love." A brunette with a faux hawk leaned his arm on your chair gave you a boyish smile. "You can be here anytime of the day. You can even join me on my rock sessions upstair-- Ow! Lane!" On instinct, you leaned your head away when a brunette with braces karate chopped his head. "No, you're not, you just want both of your strings to get attached. Haha! Get it? Strings!"

"Come on, (Y/n)! Let's go somewhere a little less crowded." Linka dragged you away from her swarming brothers. She's clearly annoyed with her brows furrowed.

She led the both of you to the living room and settled on the couch. When she was opening the textbooks, voices were heard outside the house. "The one who catches Geo wins!" The younger brothers were playing in competition with each other, and Linka could see that they were showing off to impress her tutor.

"What are they doing?! They're literally disturbing you. I'm sorry, (Y/n)." Loki sat next to you on the couch and started typing on his phone. His presence made you a bit shy, being this close made you notice his arms' lean muscles, and his full eyebrows. You instantly looked away as he might caught on that you were staring. "Ooh, Linka, you have so many books. What's the story about?" You were caught off guard by a voice coming from behind you. When you turned your head, you saw Loni peeking his head behind the couch. He emits a clean and sweet scent, and he also looks neat.

"I think it'll be better if we went to my room instead." Linka gathered her books and gave the stink eye to her older brothers while escorting you to her room. They only responded with a smirk. Living with ten brothers her whole life, Linka knew what her brothers' antics are all about. They can't even hide that their expressions are living subtitles of their intensions.

After entering upstairs, you saw a brother with an eyeglass interrupting Linka for dragging you to her room, “I need to borrow (Y/n) for a second. I'm tutoring Lexx.” She only gave him a questioning look. You look your tutee with worry, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to help a little.

“Okay, but I can’t stay for more than 5 minutes. I’ll just explain an specific topic they’re having a hard time with.” Levi stared at you with a creepy smile and made a creepy giggle to go along with it.

“This is called a gluteus maximus, otherwise known as the butt.” Levi pointed his pointing stick at the side of your ass cheek. "Wait, what?!" You jerked away from Levi face flushed from embarrassment. You held your hands up to the level of your bust and backed away. "I'm so sorry, I know it's educational but I think I'm not the the best model-- Oof!" Your back bumped into someone's torso. Before you could apologize you were interrupted, "Don't worry about it, (Y/n). These boys are just getting cheeky." Lane came in and pinched both Levi and Lexx's ears which earned a yelp from each sibling. "Wait, I just made a pun! Get it? Cheeky?" Lane laughed to himself.

"All right, all right, CLASS DISMISSED!" Linka grabs your arm and dragged you away from the scene.

"I'm sorry about that, (Y/n)." Linka opened her door and got scared when a goth kid started talking "I wrote a poem about you. (Y/n). Pretty face. Mysterious eyes. Pretty cool for a living girl. (Y/n)."

"Everybody out!" Lexx screamed at Linka's door. "It's time for The Knight, The Princess and The Dragon. You're the Princess, (Y/n). You don't have to do anything your beauty is enough." Lexx giggled. "Lexx, what did we agree on earlier?" You raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Oopsies." Lexx nervously laughed and bowed before leaving Linka's room.

"Finally, we can get down to business." Linka rejoiced and set her books on bed. "I'm so sorry about my brothers, (Y/n)."

"I'm sorry too, Linka. I should've been more stern with your brothers because tutoring you is my priority." You apologized too. "It's okay, you just met us. I'm sure you just wanted to help." Linka is so cute and can't help but hug her at being understanding. You girls laughed and continued studying.

Hours later, Linka completed the assessments you provided for her. Surprisingly, she got good marks. "Linka, you're spot-on in all of your lessons. Even surrealist art." Linka looked at her assessment scores in confusion, "It's weird. I thought I needed so much help."

"May I ask what happened the day you failed your test?"

"Well, Mr. DiMartino became the substitute for the day--" "Wait Mr. DiMartino? The hunk teacher in elementary?" You laughed at Linka but she only gave you a questioning look. "Girl, no wonder why you're getting distracted and failing your test. Mr. DiMartino is so hot that girls ogle at him and lost their focus."

"Oh my god, you are so right." Linka must've went through a flashback while you're yapping about Mr. DiMartino "I almost failed too because of him. A piece of advice, try not to look too much and you won't worry about failing fifth grade." You winked at Linka and patted her back.

You arranged your things and Linka escorted you downstairs. "It's all in your head, Link. There's no reason you shouldn't be getting top marks on your exam. Well, I guess you won't be needing me anymore." You gave her a hug.

You could hear the whining from the younger brothers about you leaving while the older ones frowned. "Thanks for having me guys!"

Linka tapped your arm just before you left the door. "Can we still hang out after this?" She looked at you with that puppy dog eyes. you only grinned aat her, "You really thought that's gonna work on me? I am a professionally at that, but since you tried, we can 'literally' hang out." You peeked behind Linka and see the guys smile a little.

I guess these dudes needed a playmate.

[hannahssimblr]

In the hallway after school on Tuesday, as I head to my locker to retrieve my gear bag, I spot Miss O’Reilly. She is locking up the art room, and gives me a big smile as I approach her. She’s always doing that, smiling at me, I mean, and it throws me off. It's usually not the expression teachers have when they see me coming.

I smile awkwardly in return and she turns her body towards me, takes a step, prompting me to halt beside her instead of barrelling past her like I would have, not enthused about facing the wrath of Doherty if I hit the rugby pitch even one minute late. 

“Jude! I've been meaning to congratulate you.”

“Um, for what?”

She laughs as though I’m being dense deliberately, “I spoke to Eileen, the guidance counsellor last Friday and she told me about your offers.”

“Oh, for college.”

“Yes! How wonderful. I’m just so pleased for you that everything worked out the way that you hoped it would, after all of the hard work you put in this last year it’s just fantastic to hear it. And tell me, did you get accepted to every college you applied for?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow,” she takes a big pause, taking it in, “wow. You must be delighted. How does it feel?”

“I dunno, miss.”

“Hard to get your head around, I’m sure. Your parents must be proud too.”

“Mm.”

She’s determined to ignore our mismatched attitudes towards this news, taking a big, jubilant breath before launching into more affirmations, “well, what a confirmation of your talent and skill. I had a really good feeling about your work when you came to my class last year, and I’m just so pleased that you got the results you wanted. Have you decided which college to choose yet?”

I shift my weight from one foot to the other, “yeah I’m choosing NCAD.”

“Oh!” I can tell she’s trying to maintain her upbeat attitude, but eyebrows slowly draw together in confusion, “I hadn’t realised you changed your plan. When we last spoke about it in March you told me you were looking forward to attending universities abroad.”

I shrug, “Yeah, I, um, I changed my mind in the end. I’m going to stay in Dublin.”

“Hm, okay, I just… Jude, do you mind if I ask you why?”

“Yeah, you can ask,” I say, and am instantly horrified by the tremor in my voice. I fight it back with a hard swallow, “It’s just, like… um,” Oh God. What is happening to me? I’m conscious of the crowds of students milling through the hallway right behind me, and of the fact that I categorically cannot do this here. “Sorry…”

“Oh, come in,” she says in a low voice, jangling the keys in the art room door with an urgency that feels entirely necessary, and when she lets me into the room ahead of her I stand dumbly in the middle of it as she fumbles with the blind over the glass doors, tingling jolts of anxiety running down my arms and through the tips of my fingers. 

“What is it, sweetheart?” She says, and simply that, the word she uses and the way she uses it makes me want to crumple onto the linoleum floor in front of her. 

“You’re alright, you’re just…” she purses her lips, searching for the word, “overwhelmed, I’d say. College and all of that kind of thing, it can get on top of you at this time of year. I know it’s a lot to think about.”

I manage a grunt of vague agreement. 

Miss O’Reilly drags a folding chair from the side of the room, “C’mere, sit down there and we’ll have a quick chat about it.”

“Um, Mr. Doherty…” I say, and she understands, “Don’t mind him. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

She settles into a seat across from me, and gives me an encouraging smile. As I search for the words I want to say I’m cognizant of how comforting this woman is, how unfazed she is by me and whatever it is that is happening to me in this room. She has a daughter, I know that, a daughter who goes to our school and for a moment I’m jealous of her, that fourteen year old girl who gets to have a mother like this one, that is soft and comforting in all the places where mine is sharp and disinterested in me and every feeling I have ever experienced. 

I’m not convinced that I even know how to talk about things like this, afraid that I will try to and come across like the weirdest, most unhinged person on the planet. My thoughts and feelings will be so nonsensical that they will make everyone around me cringe with discomfort. “I’m trying to do the right things,” I attempt, “but somehow the right things feel very wrong to me.”

“When you say ‘the right things’, Jude, do you mean you want to choose the right college?”

I nod. 

“And why does NCAD seem like the right choice?”

“Because of my girlfriend.”

“Michelle?”

“Yeah. I didn’t know you knew that to be honest.” I never thought that teachers noticed or cared about things that weren’t arbitrary uniform rules and homework assignments, but evidently I was wrong.

She smiles kindly, “So Michelle is going to NCAD?”

“Yeah if she gets the points in her leaving. She applied for all the same colleges as me but got none and now I feel sort of... like I have to stay for her.”

“Is that the right decision for you?”

“I dunno, miss.”

She hums contemplatively, “I’m sure you’re tired of hearing this kind of thing, but it’s not always the best choice to base big life choices on your girlfriend when you’re only eighteen years old. Especially one as important as your university.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s never an easy choice to make. I really empathise with you here, because when you’re in love with a person, you-”

“I don’t even know if I love her.”

There’s a pause, she looks surprised, and so am I. I'm stunned that I told her that, this thought that I've never dared to utter before.

And then everything comes spilling out of me. “Look, it’s just that I feel very trapped,” I say, “Sometimes I think there’s something abnormal about my brain, because I make decisions that even I don’t understand, like with Michelle... when I think about us being together and our relationship I can hardly remember anything good that’s happened between us for a long time, the last fun thing we did or the last time I felt happy. I can’t even remember what I was thinking when we got together. I feel like I’m on autopilot, or like things are just happening to me without me having a hand in it.

“Somehow I’ve just, like, ended up here and I’m making plans with her and promising her things that I haven’t even decided if I want yet. I thought that I wanted to move away, but maybe I don’t anymore. Maybe it’s wrong of me to do that, because what if I go away and then I realise that what I actually wanted was to be with Michelle?” 

I breathe in, knowing that I have probably been talking too much, but now I am unwilling to stop, “My parents, they’re fighting a lot at home. Something happened a few months ago and it's just been a battlefield ever since. I know that if I go away I’ll leave my sister alone to deal with all of it. She’s only nine, and the constant tension upsets her so much, she goes into a spin about it and starts fantasising about all of these awful scenarios, and see, my parents don’t know how to deal with her, they don’t really like it when kids act like kids. Or at least they’re not that interested in them– in her. I keep imagining this future where I’m gone, I’ve left home and I’m hundreds of miles away and she’s all on her own with them, and there’s nobody to really look after her because I can’t get home so easily, and when I think like that, even the thought of going away, even wanting it a little bit makes me feel like the most selfish boy on earth…”

Miss O’Reilly produces a tissue and holds it out to me. I stare at it for several seconds before I realise she is offering it because I have started to cry. My face is somehow wet with tears. “Oh,” I say, hoarsely and take it. 

“Jude, you’re still a teenager.” She says gently, “You can’t possibly be responsible for the emotions of every other person around you. It’s too much.”

“Yeah.”

“When you’re young you have to make selfish decisions, ones meant for yourself and yourself only. Nobody else is going to make them for you. You have to really ask yourself what the right choice is for you, whether you’ll be able to be truly happy in your current circumstance where nothing may change or will you be better off on your own, doing something you love and experiencing real freedom in spite of how others may feel about it.” 

I wipe my eyes and nod, staring down at my lap, still in a state of shame and disbelief that I have allowed myself to sob like this in front of my teacher, though if she is bothered she doesn’t show it. 

“When you imagine your ideal life,” she urges, “where none of these things are a factor, not the things you promised to Michelle, not what's going on at home, what does it look like?”

“God,” I breathe, almost chuckling because the answer is so easy, “I’m gone. I’m not here. I’m just miles away and I’m making art and hanging out and doing what I like.” It sounds so simple when I say it out loud, yet for the longest time now I’ve felt like a criminal for wanting these things. 

“And where do you see yourself?”

“Berlin,” I say, surprising myself. It’s not like I’ve put real time into thinking about this, visualised myself walking those streets, in fact I don’t even know what Berlin looks like, but it feels right to say it, as though there is some cosmic reason for me to go there. Perhaps only because it’s the furthest from home. 

Miss O’Reilly nods, “NCAD is a fine college, Jude, but your talent is wasted in a place where you don’t want to be. You could do anything you want. You have incredible potential and I’d be very sad to see it wasted. Life passes you by very quickly, you know, and these kinds of opportunities don’t present themselves as often as you think. It may seem obvious, but you only have one life to live.”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t make a decision for you, but all I want you to do is really think about this. Put a good amount of thought into what you really want when you remove everyone else from the equation, then, once you know, you can decide what's worth sacrificing. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes, miss.”

“Good, then that's your homework,” She smiles and reaches to squeeze my hand, which I am embarrassed about because my skin is clammy, but just like everything else about this moment that is humiliating to me, it doesn't appear to faze her.

“Thank you,” I say, and she nods. “I hope you’re not in a hurry to get to your rugby practice.”

“No,” I sniff, and let out a thick laugh, “No miss, I think I’ll skip it today.”

“Good,” she says, “That’s a good start, see? Here you are, doing exactly as you wish.”

She smiles at me, once again, that bright, warm smile, and I give her one in return because maybe it's just me, my weird brain and the things it invents, but the feeling of hope that rises in me in that moment feels very real.

Beginning // Prev // Next

[eastwindmlk]

For May' @jilychallenge I started two plunnies. One was Dillweed in a Fancy Metal Can and the other is this.

Partner: @charmsandtealeaves

Prompt: University Football/rugby/field hockey training is open to the public, on a very hot day star player A takes a shower from a water hose and B walks against a lamppost bc B might have been staring

Either read on AO3 or under the cut!

It was Wednesday evening in The Leaky Cauldron, which meant the lads had gathered in the back of the dingy establishment for their weekly team gathering. Well, James liked to call it their team gathering, it was mostly an excuse to grab a pint in the middle of the week for most of them. 

In front of them, on the large oval table in the back, they assumed was supposed to be their ‘event space’ that none of them could imagine would actually be used by anyone but them. After all, they’d celebrated most of their big moments around this table ever since uni. Lay the newest redition of their pub league bracket.

“I am sure we can manage,” Sirius commented, his finger gliding down the print-out with their pub league charter. Smirking as he tapped, their first match. “The Hog’s Head team always sucks. I’m pretty sure good ol’ Mundungus still pretends to be their striker.” 

Both the men rolled their eyes and a snicker went through the collection of young men gathered. Glasses clinked together. “Wait, Mundungus is their striker? The one that sells pot? Owns the pawnshop?” Frank asked curiously, squinting at the paper. 

“It almost feels bad to be playing against them. At least we don’t need to run too fast then,” Peter grinned, downing half of his pint in celebration. 

While James would not celebrate an easy win as readily as his friend, he could not help but feel a little bad for the middle-aged blokes having their first game against them. But he supposed that is why they had a point system instead of a knock-out. 

“We play Babberton Arms the week after, they’re usually decent, same goes for The White Wyvern.” It was then that a name caught his eye, there was a pub in the league that he wasn’t familiar with. They were new on the sheet, and what was more surprising was that their listed captain was one ‘Lily Evans’, a woman. 

Sirius noticed his hesitation, throwing his arm over his shoulder as he leaned in to look as well. “Anyone know The Three Broomsticks?” he asked, the team falling silent for a moment before Kingsley supplied:

“It’s a small gastropub down in the village. Nice place, little highbrow, though.” This caused a couple of people to pull out their phones to look it up. 

“They have a good menu.” 

“The lady who runs it is a total MILF.”

“I think I had a date there once. Nice place.” 

So far, it sounded pretty good. James reckoned he would probably recruit Sirius to go on a recon mission soon. Spend an evening there to scope out the competition. It would be fun. While he would never admit it aloud, he was not opposed to something a little finer than this. 

Peter, who started laughing, holding out his phone for everyone to get a glimpse of what was on the screen drew everyone’s attention. As far as James could tell, it was a team picture. All the players were posing in front of the metal goal that was part of their local park. 

He was not entirely sure what was too funny about it, but several people were chuckling and scoffing when the phone passed to them. “They’re all females?” Someone asked, clicking their tongue and earning a round of laughter. 

“We’ll be fine; I am sure a bunch of girls are not going to take our cup,” Remus commented, squeezing James’s shoulder. 

Sirius was quiet until someone made a remark about how they would at least have a good time looking at them run, pretending to jiggle a pair of tits, making the rest of the table burst into hysterics.

Easily and masterfully redirecting the jokes in an effort to cut short this sort of talk. By joking. “All I know is that we might want to put Pete in goal because he has never scored with a girl once in his life.” 

There was a short bout of silence around the table before the first person broke, Benjy snorting loudly and slapping Peter, who was not looking as amused as the others, on the back hard enough to hear it connect. 

“I just think we shouldn’t be too quick to judge them, it looks like they actually train,” James deducted, having found the profile himself and scrolling through the public posts. Finding out some interesting things about this other captain. 

Lily Evans and he had a few mutual friends, mostly people from the pub league and a bloke that went to the same gym as he did. 

They liked similar bands, she attended a Lord of the Rings marathon he’d been unable to get tickets to. 

By the looks of it, she and her friends dressed up. 

She volunteers for or supports multiple charities. Her work involves a white coat, which intrigued him.

Her red hair was natural, and her green eyes were breathtaking. 

He also found a post about wanting to start this women-only footy team. With dates and times when they were supposed to meet up.

James leaned in a little too close, to squint in the background of one of her throwback pictures where he could swear he knew the grease ball she was toting along when his finger slipped and he accidentally liked a picture of her on holiday. 

“Fuck, fuck, shit, fuck no,” he muttered to himself and frantically tapped the little thumbs up, only to be offered more options. By the time that he finally figured out how to unlike it, he’d left a heart, angry and laughing reaction, and there was no way in hell she did not know he was stalking her Facebook. 

Turns out, he did not need to be physically talking to someone to put his foot in his mouth. His ineptitude with the dinosaur that was Facebook did just fine at making him look like a right idiot. Though it must be some record, taking less than ten seconds.  

What made it worse was that, not a minute later, there was a buzz, the light on his phone blinking blue. A Facebook notification. Worse, a friend request from one Lily Evans.

After having ignored the notification for several hours James found himself staring at it, bending over his container of Szechuan noodles. Staring long and hard enough for Sirius to elbow him in the side. 

“If some spicy text got you this wrapped up, I need to see it,” he chuckled, trying to lean over to see what James was staring at. Not shrinking away from the glare he received, much to James’s disappointment, he was reminded that his best friend was not intimidated by him in the slightest. 

Turning the screen to show off the notification bar, rolling his eyes at Sirius snorted. “Isn’t that the captain from the Broomsticks team? What does she want from you?” 

“Maybe she wants to plead for mercy?” he suggested with a smirk, his thumb hovering over the decline button. Why would he accept it? It wasn’t like he knew her. His tongue pressed against the roof of his mouth for a moment before selecting ‘accept’. 

He might not know her personally, but he was not going to turn down the possibility of spying on their new rivals. As team captain, it was his responsibility to be prepared for anything. This certainly had nothing to do with the bikini picture he spotted earlier. 

---

By the time that his phone buzzed the following Saturday, while he was stretching before their first game, he had completely forgotten about this happening.

‘Good luck today! {insert football emoji and a smiley]

Squinting against the glare of the rising sun behind him, he could almost make out the picture of the redhead rival captain. There was a nervous roll of his stomach, eyes darting around the field. Wondering if maybe she was here to spy on them. But most of the crowd was distinctly more follically challenged and would not look nearly as good in a black one-piece as he had learned Lily did. 

He reacted to the message with his usual lion emoji before tossing the phone into his bag. Not wanting to get too distracted.

What did not help was checking it again at half-time, only to find a new message. 

‘You should pay more attention to that centre back.’ 

Making his eyes roam the stands in search of a hint of the spy, but if she was there, she was hiding in the crowd. 

‘We’ll be fine! He’s no Matt Clarke.’ 

The message was sent before he realized it, a reference to his favourite team that his friends would likely get. But would she? He supposed she could always google him if she wanted to know, he supposed. The ref blew his whistle and just before he tossed the phone back in the bag he saw the notification pop up. 

‘Think you’re good enough to go up against the Bald Eagle?’ 

She knew. And he considered that maybe he was already in love with this stranger. 

---

Just like that, his recognizance mission was compromised. Or rather, forgotten about. Until Peter asked casually while beating him mercilessly at a game of FIFA. “Did you hear the chick team won their first game seven nil? Maybe we should try and catch one of their trainings. See if this was just a stroke of luck.” 

He did not even have the decency to look at the screen when he tipped in another goal against him. 

James considered accusing him of cheating, but what was the point? The last time he did that, they were in college, and it had been embarrassing enough to still make him cringe today. “I did see a post about it on Lil’s timeline. I think they meet every Thursday.” 

The characters on screen celebrated the end of the game, and he immediately flicked to the main screen, not particularly feeling like seeing his pathetic stats.  

Peter grumbled something about the stats being there for the both of them before falling silent. Giving James a confused look. “Lil? You two are that friendly already?” 

He pulled up his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair. “I’d like to think so.” 

“Are you two secretly chatting or have you just become intimately familiar with her beach holiday pics?” Peter was still laughing between the coughs when his elbow landed in his stomach, throwing his hands up in defence. “Right, right! Got it! It’s both.” 

James shot him a playful glare and pulled up his shoulder, eyes returning to the screen to select another formation for his team. Certain he could out-strategize his friend’s undeniably superior skill. 

“I’ll go check them out this week.” 

---

The sun was starting to set when James and Sirius slunk into the park, rugged up in oversized cardigans they borrowed from Remus and stylish baseball caps that were generously donated by Kingsley. Who did insist they were not to adjust or bend them, as they were, collector's items. Or rather, they would be one day, and he was not going to risk it. Which did lead to a rather loose fit on Sirius and a promise of a very bad hair day for James. 

The pair of them carried a picnic blanket and book to look less suspicious. If they pretended to hold a book club. The biggest risk they ran was to look like nerds. 

Which they were. Not that James or Sirius would openly admit to this to anyone but each other. They are rather skilled at hiding their general nerdiness under a layer of muscle and smooth talking. Even if the smooth-talking occasionally included references to their nerd media of choice. 

James had overthought the time they should be arriving. Not too early, or they would notice something was off. Not too late, because then they would not get enough time to observe. After a lot of mulling over, James decided that twenty minutes after practice started should be perfect. 

He knew that their team took, at least, ten to fifteen minutes to waffle and joke around, and ten minutes was a quick warm-up. Which meant that they would probably wander in just as they started playing. 

Once he spotted the group of women, or rather, a collection of bouncing ponytails, James learned he was wrong, and he could not be happier about it. They were still warming up. Better yet, they were stretching and it was utterly enchanting. 

No matter how hard he tried, which was not very hard, he could not take his eyes off their captain. The feisty redhead he’d been texting off and on since Saturday wore a bright smile and a pair of criminally tight bike shorts as she dropped into a low lunge. 

A sight that he was clearly not prepared for. If it had not been for Sirius grabbing his arm, he might have walked straight into a rubbing bin. Frankly, he’d have deserved it for shamelessly staring. But what was a mortal man like him going to do? Avert his eyes when given the chance to glimpse at a goddess?

But as Sirius spread the blanket on the field across from the training, where he could resume his research in peace. The book he was pretending to read was open in his lap, his phone in his hand. He could not help himself. 

‘Good luck! [insert football and lady running emoji]’ 

Only after hitting sent, James realized that he might have just blown their cover. If Lily had done the same thing he had done when he got her message, it would not take a genius to figure out who they were. If there was something he’d learned about her over the past week or two was that she was, in fact, an actual genius. 

If the gods were merciful, she would see the humour in this. She’d not said anything about his little bikini picture snafu, which was arguably a lot creepier, and he had profusely apologized for it after a few pints to settle the nerves. 

That had been what had really set off their chatting. Messaging back and forth to the point that he had his eyes glued to his screen even while watching footy.  Remus had made remarks about it, which meant it had to be painfully obvious. 

Not that the screen was any sort of distraction now, for obvious reasons. However, there was also a less obvious and far more concerning reason for his mobile to lie discarded on the blanket. 

They're good. 

No, that was an understatement. They were terrifyingly competent. It was intimidating and did things to him, he would rather not admit to. 

“Prongs, I think we’re fucked,” commented Sirius after they watched a tall blonde flip throw the ball with such ease their jaws were on the floor. 

James swallowed, nodding slowly at his friend’s assessment. “So fucked.” A firm shove jolted him out of his trance to notice that, across the field, several of their rivals had turned to look at them. Most of them took this moment to catch their breaths, hands set into their sides. James could see their breaths form little clouds in the cooling evening air. 

He reeled in his jaw and raised a hand in an awkward greeting. As if he was not already done for, Lily raised her hand in what he thought would be an awkward wave back. Only for her to flip him off before winking and returning to her practice. Her jumper had ridden up and exposed a swath of tattooed skin on her side. 

Hand to his chest, James fell back into Sirius’s lap as if shot. Maybe he had been, because he was unwell. They’d never even spoken face-to-face, and he’d already decided on a May wedding at the Riverside, four kids and a Newfoundlander named Elvendork. 

Sirius peered at him with, what seemed like, genuine concern as James raked his hands over his face. “You right, mate?” he asked, the cap sliding forward as he tipped his head down to look at James. 

“Yeah. Yes. Though I could do with the incessant urge to make a fool of myself for her,” he groaned, an offended tsking rushing past his teeth when his friend pushed the cap down over his eyes. “Oi! Can you blame me? Just look at her!” 

Sirius looked up while he wrangled the cap back into place, taking a long moment and then some before sighing in defeat. “I vote Irish wolfhound and late spring. I look good in lavender.” 

“I was thinking Newfoundland,” he answered, a smirk playing around his lips.

“Only if I can be the godfather,” Sirius bargained, the raise of his eyebrows caused the cap to slide forward once more making James snicker. He let himself be pushed up and to his feet. “Go talk to her! Don’t do anything stupid,” his friend encouraged. 

James shot him a playful glare, tossing his own cap towards him and fixing his hair. Well, as much as it could be fixed. His feet already carrying him down the slight slope to the field. “It’s not like I am going to run into a lamp post,” he joked, tossing a grin over his shoulder seconds before connecting with just that. 

In his defence, the ladies were having a water break and Lily had taken off her jumper, standing there in just her sports bra, sweat glistening in the setting sun. Her hair was frizzy from the humidity and surrounded her like a halo. 

If that had not been enough, Lily had laughed, her head tilted back in delight and James was pretty sure he would move heaven and earth to be the one to make her laugh like that. Which was the thought that spun dizzily through his mind while he reeled from the impact. 

James staggered back a few steps, rubbing the side of his face that had made the actual impact. His glasses askew while he sat back down on the grass, blinking the spots from his vision. 

When his eyes focussed again, Lily was right there, her forehead creased with concern. Before he could think about it, his mouth moved. “Marry me?” Which was probably the first time that James Potter ever was truly mortified by something he had said. Mouth opening, this time intentionally, to apologize. 

But before he could, she laughed, and the sound was pure and surprisingly not like she wanted to run away. “How about you take me for a drink first?” 

The vigorous shake of his head made him reel all over again, but James didn’t care. ”It’s a date.” 

(A little reference vid, because I can.)

[nikethestatue]

A Match Baked in Heaven

Chapter 4 Here

Part V

My Girl

Nuala W. Raith.

27 years old. A cyber security senior analyst at the New Scotland Yard. Graduated from the London School of Economics. First job was with Accenture, but was quickly recruited by the government due to her phenomenal computer skills. Fairly successful modelling career in her teens and early twenties. Longest relationship was with a Canadian hockey player. Their engagement broke up when he was photographed with a scantily-clad stripper whose head was buried in his crotch. 

Hobbies: gaming, football, rugby, cooking, live concerts

Competitive swimmer throughout her uni studies

Elain printed out the profile and placed the page in her bag. She slid her IPad into it as well and then went on to put on her coat. 

She just received a message on her phone stating ‘come out, matchmaker!’ That was exactly what she expected from her wild and untamed client.

Piglet was freaking out at the door, snorting and grunting and giving a few pathetic little barks, while he clawed at the door, impatient to leave.

“Will you calm down?” Elain muttered, and opened the door for him and he sprinted out like his arse was on fire.

There was a Bentley idling at the curb and the moment Piglet rushed out, the car door opened and Azriel Night stepped out.

Elain Archeron paused in the doorway, watching her client and marvelling at his ungodly handsomeness. Unlike his usual uniform of jeans, boots and some kind of basic shirt, today, he was wearing a dark suit, which hugged his tall, slender, muscular form to ridiculous perfection. The white shirt that was open to the chest didn’t hurt either. The dark tattoos that snaked from under his shirt and spilled over his neck and his hands made him look dangerous and desirable. It was the dichotomy of his whole being in a handsome dark package–he was a combination of dangerous and damaged, aggressive and gentle, thoughtful and mannerless, inelegant and stylish.

Suddenly, he squatted right on the sidewalk, and opened his arms wide, while Piglet leapt at him, nuzzling at him wildly, and Azriel hugged him and stroked him. 

“I missed you too, my little matey. How are you doing?”

Piglet stood on his one hind leg and placed his paws on Azriel’s shoulders, going in for a full body hug.

“How’s our girl? Is she wearing purple today, since you are rockin’ your purple tie?”

Azriel already knew the drill–outside, Piglet wore coats, ties or scarves. Today, he had on a Burberry jacket and a purple scarf that matched his coat. At home or inside, he wore his stylish bows.

At that moment, Elain stepped out of the house, and Azriel looked up and whistled loudly.

“No...she is wearing a trench coat…nice touch. I hope there is nothing underneath it…”

“Mr. Night!” Elain snapped at him, blushing profusely. “You are being scandalous and utterly inappropriate!”

He laughed, watching her, as he stroked Piglet’s back.

Elain seemed to look rather sensible, in her camel knee-length trench, a large leather tote over her shoulder, and sexy brown leather booties, but somehow, she made it all look incredibly elegant, and dare he say, sexy. Elain never went for ‘sexy’, but somehow, she made all her pristine, somewhat old-fashioned outfits look alluring. The fact that she was wearing subtle, nude fishnets didn’t hurt either. Azriel always found himself intrigued by what she was going to wear, and so far, he distinctly recalled each and every one of her ensembles. Now, he was actively pondering if the fishnets were stockings? 

“She is mad at me already! I think it’s our record time,” he whisper-shouted to the dog. “Is it my fault,” he addressed her, “that trench coats look good on sexy women and make me wish that there was nothing beneath them. It’s every man’s fantasy, you know.”

“I am not here to fulfil your fantasy,” she cut him off. “I am simply wearing a coat.”

“Mmmm.” 

He waited for her to come down the stairs and then extended his hand to her. She shook it reluctantly and he smiled brightly at her, his expression teasing.

“Did you watch the game?” he asked immediately.

“Hello to you too,” she said, while Azriel opened the car door for her and Pinky leapt in eagerly, ready for a new adventure.

“Well, hello then Ms. Archeron,” Azriel murmured, leaning so close to her that his nose almost skimmed her cheek. ”Allow me to help you inside.”

She frowned at him, as she slid inside the car, and Azriel followed her right after. 

“Good afternoon, Miss,” the driver greeted her.

She greeted him back and then looked at Azriel, a bemused expression on her face.

“Where is Mr. Night? What did you do with him? And who are you?”

He laughed, throwing his head back and she looked at his thick throat, swallowing audibly.

“I mean, a car, you are being almost polite, dressed in a suit…that’s not the Mr. Night that I know. Usually he curses, argues and taunts me relentlessly.”

“Aw, Ms, Archeron,” he ran his index finger over her long lock. “Day is still young. There is time for all that.”

“Oh, phew,” she pretended to wipe her brow. “I was getting worried.”

“You shouldn’t. The arsehole is still here and happily present. So, back to my previous question?”

“Which is?”

“Are you wearing anything under the trench?” he teased and she seethed at him as usual, crossing her arms on her chest and glowering at him. 

He raised his hands in mock surrender and said, “Okay, okay. I’ll behave. But…are you?” he whispered quickly.

“One more word, and I am leaving,” she warned.

“Dev, drive fast,” Azriel ordered and the driver smiled, as he sped down the road. 

Meanwhile, Pinkly crawled over Elain and landed on Azriel’s lap, totally disregarding Elain’s displeased hiss. Azriel chuckled, while Pinky pressed his flat face against the window. 

Elain reached into her bag and took out a pretty box with a scowl on her face. She pushed the box into Azriel’s lap without saying a word and then turned to the opposite window.

“What’s that?” he pondered.

“For you,” was all she answered. 

Curious, very, very curious, he opened the box, while Pinky tore his attention away from the window and was now panting with anticipation.

“Is that for me?” Azriel gasped, but it was genuine surprise, and not mockery. Surprise and utter delight.

The box was filled with biscuits of all kinds. Homemade.

“I said it was for you,” she shrugged like she didn’t care.

“You baked? For me?” he whispered in disbelief.

“Well, not just for you,” she argued quickly. “We had Sunday lunch at my sister Feyre’s. She served some very dodgy salmon,”

“How dodgy?” he smirked.

“Dodgy enough that we mostly ate mash and these biscuits that I brought. I had baked entirely too many. So,”

“I am getting the overflow. Thanks, pretty matchmaker!” she elbowed her gently. “I can’t believe you thought of me and made me a box!”

“Well, these are lemon,” she began pointing at different varieties of biscuits in the box. “These are almond horns. Those are orange and hazelnut,”

“Oh my god,” he marvelled in appreciation.

“Chocolate and coffee nibs. And plain shortbread.”

He looked at her. Really looked at her. Her old-fashioned, picturesque beauty, the enormous eyes, the beautiful hair, and for once, he saw someone special. Someone who didn’t fit any moulds that he was familiar with, and once again, he was at a loss. He didn’t know what to make of her.

“Elain…” he said softly, and then immediately corrected himself, “Ms. Archeron. This might be the most thoughtful and kind thing anyone’s ever done for me. I thank you. Truly.”

“You are welcome. It’s not a big thing, but you seemed to enjoy them.”

“More than you think. You baked for me. Made something with your hands…That means a lot.”

“Well, enjoy it,” Elain said gently, while Pinky was growling with impatience.

“Can I give him one?” 

“Just the plain shortbread,” Elain allowed, and Azriel fed one of the biscuits to the overexcited dog, who chomped on it noisily and messily. “He is perpetually hungry and if he could, he’d eat the whole box. He climbed onto the chair and then somehow got on top of the table and ate a whole bowl of raspberries. That was yesterday. A couple of days before, he somehow snuck into the open drawer of the refrigerator, stole a bag of sausages, ate them all, and promptly got diarrhoea…So there is that.”

Azriel was laughing silently, his whole body shaking. 

“Oh no. Why did he get the shits?”

“Because he ate like 7 or 8 sausages. He is a smallish dog. It would be the equivalent of me eating maybe 15-20 sausages. I’d get diarrhoea too!”

“Valid. What else?”

“He ate three bananas, peel and all, again by way of stealing. Then, when I wasn’t looking, he grabbed half of my cheese and onion sandwich, and ate all of that too.”

“What about the dodgy salmon?”

“Even he wouldn’t eat that!” Elain laughed. “He did eat a good heap of mash and gravy, a bread roll with butter, then proceeded to steal my sister Nesta’s steamed tofu,”

“Jesus Christ,” Azriel gasped in horror.

“Immediately spat it out,”

“Not blaming him at all. I’d spit it out too!”

“And then went to my father and cried fake pug tears to him because he was so upset that he stole and ate the wrong thing. Of course my father then had to feed him cheese and ham. As compensation of some kind. Emotional distress I am assuming?”

“My god I love him!” Azriel groaned. “I might have to steal him from you.”

“Well, then you’ll die,” she warned placidly. Azriel was laughing loudly now, considering her nonchalant tone. When he finally came to, he prodded,

“So?”

“I watched the game,” she confirmed. “You did well–one goal and two assists.”

“What about Pink?”

“Piglet watched it too. Now I can show him reruns of football games–he seems to enjoy watching things run.”

“And I am a thing that runs?” Azriel chuckled.

“You certainly are. You have incredible stamina,”

His mouth quirked and he crooned, “You have no idea…”

Elain gawked at him, and then realised what she had said, and rolled her eyes.

“You do remember, Mr. Night that I am not the one who is auditioning to be your potential wife?” She reminded him primly. “I am not the match. I am the matchmaker.”

“How can I forget? Unless you finally change your mind and just go for it,” he proposed. “You already know what you’d be signing up for with me. I have a pretty good idea about you as well. I don’t know why you are fighting this so hard?”

“Yes. I wonder why indeed.”

They were driving through the city and Piglet was panting with enjoyment, looking out the window.

Azriel gently rubbed the dog’s furry neck, relaxed against the back seat, manspreading widely. Elain threw inquisitive glances when she thought he wasn’t watching, and they mostly landed below his waist. As was his usual manner, Azriel let her look as much as she wanted. The car was big enough–even with his height and spread, there was plenty of space. So it was her choice to look, and it would be rude of him not to let her.

“I don’t want you to get so close to him,” Elain said suddenly.

Azriel looked at her quizzically.

“Piglet,” she clarified. “He is getting attached to you. He waits for you at the door,”

At that Azriel smiled, but Elain continued, 

“He thinks of you as a friend.”

“I am his friend,”

“But this is all temporary. You understand that, don’t you? Once you are matched with the right person, our relationship will end. And I don’t want Piglet to think that you’ll be around, coming to play with him or be present in his and my life,”

Azriel chewed the inside of his cheek for a long while, thinking about what she said.

“It doesn’t have to end,” he said at last.

Please don’t.

Don’t end it. 

“You are a client, Mr. Night,” Elain added, “I can’t imagine you’d have time for me once you are getting to know your future wife and getting married.”

“That’s it then?”

“Couple of months, maybe three, at most,” she confirmed. “That’s how long most of my associations with my clients last. One lasted a year, but that’s highly unusual. Besides, you are under a time constraint. I imagine that by January, we will be done.”

“I am sorry, but I disagree, Ms. Archeron,” Azriel said firmly. “Perhaps this is how things have gone before, but I cannot accept it. Let’s come up with a new agreement then…a new plan,”

“What sort of plan?”

“Something that would allow us to keep in touch beyond this initial agreement,”

“Like what?”

He shrugged, scrubbing his hand over his chin.

“Teach me manners?” he proposed. “Proper manners. Like a gentleman.”

Elain laughed, “I am not a miracle worker, Mr. Night. I am not sure I have the capability to do something like that.”

“You aren’t giving yourself enough credit. But for now, why don’t we just leave things as status quo. Three-four months is a long time. Lots of things could happen in that timeframe. Meanwhile, I’d like to keep meeting with you and Pinky.”

“Yes, I suppose,” she agreed, somewhat reluctantly.

“Do you not like me, Ms. Archeron?” he queried, no hesitation in his question.

“No, I wouldn’t say that,” she admitted. “But you are an usual client for me, and I struggle with reigning you in,”

“Perhaps you shouldn't try? And just let things be as they are?” he suggested. “Maybe I am not meant to be reigned in?”

“It’s beginning to look like that,” Elain sighed. “Now, where are we going? Why couldn’t we meet at my office?”

“Where is your sense of adventure?” he smiled. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Hmmm…Very, very marginally.”

“Aw, you wound me, Ms. Archeron! But I will take you to a place you’ll undoubtedly enjoy.”

Elain looked outside the window and suddenly felt Azriel’s large, heavy palm cover her hand. He was silent, but he threaded their fingers together and held her hand firmly in his.

She turned her head and breathed, ‘Mr. Night’.

He looked straight at her, his face emotionless as usual, but said just as softly ‘Ms. Archeron’. He almost dared her to say something, or tug her hand away from his, but he wouldn’t allow it, and just kept her in place. To her credit, she didn’t attempt to either.

Piglet turned his head and looked at them, assessing the hand-holding. Then, bouncing with a surplus of excitement, he jumped on Azriel, bucking and shimmying wildly, before rolling onto Elain’s lap, waiting for a belly scratch, and then slithering back on Azriel.

“See, he is on our side,” Azriel chuckled, scratching the supple rolls of fat on the pug. “He is team Elriel.”

“Team what?”

“Elriel,” 

“I don’t know what that means.”

“El–for Elain, and Riel for Azriel. Duh? Do I have to teach you everything?!”

“Where do you even come up with this nonsense?” she looked at him, perplexed.

“Elriel is not nonsense, Ms. Archeron. It’s our ship name. Pinky is the first shipper.”

“My god. You’ve read too many romance novels, Mr. Night.”

“Yeah, well, it gets boring on the road,” he shrugged. “So I read.”

“Romance novels?”

“Fantasy. Dark romance. Romantasy. Whatever.”

“Romantasy?”

“Are you judging me?”

“No, no. Not at all,” she shook her head, stifling a laugh.

They crossed the river, and Elain looked around, trying to figure out where they were going.

At last, she exclaimed, “Borough Market?”

“Nope,” he popped his lips.

“Where then?!” she whined.

“Patience.”

“I want the apple crisp!” she begged.

“You always seem to want some kind of apple crisp,” he teased. 

“It’s my favourite. This one has bruleed custard on top. It’s so goooddd,” she moaned.

“Maybe next time,” he promised, smiling to himself.

The appreciation that he had for Elain’s unabashed love for food and eating was hard to describe. All the other women he ever went out with insisted on salads, pretended like they weren’t hungry, opted for tofu and seaweed, and in general, avoided eating as much as possible. Elain was about tea, and custard, and cake, and hearty stews.

“We are here,” he said at last. The car parked and he went to open the door. Pinky hopped out first, and then Elain climbed out and threw her head back.

“We are going to the Shard?” she asked.

“We are!” He curled his arm offering it to her and she took it. 

Elain seemed surprised, but she followed him nevertheless, while Pinky stepped in front of them with his usual self importance, like he knew where he was going. Azriel could only dream of having this dog’s confidence!

The three of them took the lift up to Shangri-La hotel and were immediately greeted by an obsequious female hostess, who looked at Azriel like he was a dick-on-a-stick.

“Mr. Night, please follow me,” she flitted about, swaying her hips, as she paid no attention to Elain, and ushered them to a table in front of the windows, which overlooked the stunning vistas of London. It felt as if they sat right on top of Tower Bridge. Piglet plastered his face against the window, snorting with amazement. Whatever he was seeing, he was very impressed. 

“He is a support animal. We have all the documentation,” Azriel told the hostess, but she waved her hand at him.

“Of course, Mr. Night. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

“He is very well-behaved,” Azriel assured her, while observing Elain’s pinched little face. She wasn’t liking what was happening here.

Finally, the woman left, and Elain muttered, “Why even ask me for help? You have a ready-to-go wife right here. Wives on tap, I am sure.”

Azriel laughed at her.

“If I didn’t know you better, I would’ve thought that you were jealous, Ms. Archeron.”

“Jealous? Hardly,” she scoffed. 

“Phew, I was beginning to worry that you were developing feelings for me and my company,” he snickered. “Allow me,” he offered to take her trench–something the hostess should’ve done, but apparently, she was too star struck.

Elain unbelted and shrugged the coat off and Azriel looked her over with interest that he wasn’t even trying to hide. 

“Blimey,” he exhaled. 

Elain wore a form-fitting nude jumper and a knee-length skirt with brown and purple abstract pattern. Frankly, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the round pair of glorious tits that the jumper did all kinds of favours for. He even liked the one strand of fat pearls around her neck. 

“None. Don’t worry. But,” she looked around, “this is nice. Thank you, Mr. Night. I appreciate the thought. Imagine–I’ve never been here before. It’s been on the list of places to go, but we never could make it. So, thank you! I’ve just checked an item off my bucket list.”

“The pleasure is mine, Ms. Archeron,” he included his head. “Care to share what else is on your bucket list?”

“No,” she told him immediately, as she pulled out her IPad from her bag. “We are here to talk about you.”

He held the chair for her and she sat down.

“And here I thought that this Pink Afternoon Tea will thaw you a bit! Champagne at least?”

“I’ll have a glass,” she agreed graciously.

“You are not pregnant or anything like that, right?” he goaded her. 

She rolled her eyes and told him, “Not that I am not aware of.”

“So. There is someone in your life to get pregnant by?” he pressed.

“I’ll be asking you a series of questions,” Elain said, ignoring him and his probing. “Please answer truthfully. I am building your profile. There are no right or wrong answers.”

“May I tell you something meanwhile?”

“Sure.”

“You look sexy as fuck, matchmaker. It’s dangerous.”

She sucked in her breath and nervously picked at her pearls.

“Mr. Night…”

“Ms. Archeron. I see what I see.”

At that moment, their champagne was delivered, followed by waiters with the tea service. Elain exhaled a relieved breath. 

It looked spectacular–Reuben sandwiches, Truffle Egg and Cress, Smoked Salmon, Coronation Chicken–all done in various shades of pink. There were chicken liver parfaits, and tiny burgers. Pink scones, clotted cream and strawberry jam. And a variety of little architecturally-impressive pastries–a layer cake with pistachios and cherries, raspberry plum cake, something called shang mont rose, and the Pink Sphere. 

The Pink Afternoon Tea at the Shard (Shangri-La Hotel, London)

They even brought a bowl of water and a bowl of whipped cream for Piglet. 

“It’s beautiful. Almost too beautiful to eat,” Elain commented, inspecting all the offering.

“Almost,” Azriel raised his champagne flute. “But not quite. To us, Ms. Archeron. To our tenuous friendship. Maybe it will grow into something more.”

Elain glanced at him and whispered, “maybe,” before sipping her champagne.

“I won’t be able to train properly after all this,” Azriel commented, as he bit into one of the sandwiches, “but you only live once, yeah?”

“Your first concert?” Elain asked, looking down at her IPad.

Piglet already polished all the cream off, and was now snoring softly under the table. 

Azriel thought for a second, and said,

“Eminem. I was fourteen. Cass and I snuck out and slept outside all night, but we got in. It was incredible.”

She smiled and whispered, “that must have been amazing…”

“It really was.”

“Favourite movie?”

“Fight Club.”

“Favourite singer or band?”

“Led Zeppelin.”

“I could’ve guessed. You seem like the type.”

“Oh, and what type is that?”

“Old-fashioned, but rebellious.”

“What about you? Tay Tay? Adele?”

Elain wrinkled her nose.

“If we are talking singers, then it’s Amy Winehouse,” she said. “Band–it’s always the Rolling Stones.”

“Ahhh…well, that’s to be expected.”

“Why?”

“You like the classics.”

“Look at us, figuring each other out.” Her tone was vaguely sarcastic. Then she asked the next question, “First celebrity crush?”

Azriel took a while to think about that one, sipping his tea, and finishing up his little burger.

“Brad Pitt.”

“Oh?” Elain smiled. “Really?”

“He is a beautiful man. What can I say? In ‘Troy’ I think.”

“First thing you do when you wake up?”

“Think about football,” he told her instantly. “I am dedicated to my game, my team, my city. I work hard for what I do.”

“What was your dream job when you were young?”

“I didn’t think I’d have one at all,” he told her honestly. Elain didn’t know how to follow up on that statement. “Thought I’d be in a gang, or something. Maybe in prison. Maybe dead,”

“That’s…very grim,” she frowned.

“That’s the reality of those lads who I grew up with. My reality. I just happen to run well with a ball.”

“How do you think others view you?”

“They either like me or hate me. I am good looking, so some respond to that. Others cannot abide my character. I don’t care, to be honest. I only care about the opinions of very few people.”

“Who?” she asked quickly, though he suspected that it wasn’t part of the questionnaire.

“Cassian, I suppose. Rhys. My team. Coach. You.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

Elain hid her face behind her cup, aimlessly picking at her sandwich, but Azriel watched her closely. 

“You can’t ask questions like these and not expect uncomfortable answers,” he reminded her simply.

“Why me though?”

“For a posh, prissy bird, you are surprisingly accepting. I suppose I appreciate that, so I don’t want you to think of me…badly.”

“I don’t, you know.”

“I do. And that’s what’s so surprising. You are a nice sort of person.”

Elain adjusted her hair, trying to make herself comfortable, and asked,

“What do you not tolerate?”

“Disloyalty. Random cruelty.”

Her eyes fell on his scarred hands, while he spread some jam on his scone and popped it in his mouth. Despite the scars, his hands were attractive. Big and strong and sure.

“Where do you want to live?”

“London. It’s home. It understands me.”

“Biggest fear?”

He didn’t say anything for a while.

“I’ll tell you,” he drummed his fingers on the table, “but we say it together. You say yours, and I’ll say mine.”

“Mr. Night,” she began, but he interrupted her.

“No, Ms. Archeron. This is the way we do it. If you don’t like it, move on to the next questions.”

Elain sighed and murmured ‘fine’.

“On three then…One, two, three.”

Loneliness.

Both of them blurted the same word at the same time.

Loneliness. 

Elain stared at him. A little shocked. Azriel only chuckled. 

“Well then…”

He smiled again. 

“I might need more Champagne.”

“I'll ask lighter questions,” she promised quickly, not commenting on their shared fear.

“Please do, before I get black out drunk at Afternoon Tea at the Shard. Do they have whiskey here?”

“Mr. Night, you aren’t drinking whiskey!”

“Not yet. But I might soon. Are you eating your burger?”

“No. You can have it.”

She typed something in her notebook and he meanwhile ate her mini burger in two bites.

“Do you wear pyjamas to bed?” came the next question, and Azriel huffed at it.

“No. I sleep completely naked.”

She cleared her throat and went on,

“Boxers or briefs?”

Azriel grinned and leaned back in his chair, as was his manner when he got comfortable and amused. 

“Well, well…Boxer briefs, Ms. Archeron,” he answered with a wink. “I normally like everything to be tucked in there, and not flop in the wind.”

Elain snorted a laugh.

“You see,” he continued. “The Lord hath endowed me well in that region. There is much to hold in place. It’s like wrestling a python into my poor drawers every morning…”

“Oh, how tragic. It must be very difficult for you,” she mocked.

But Azriel didn’t miss the lovely blush that spread on her cheeks. 

“It is a struggle, but one that I accepted humbly. Wouldn’t be surprised if they could see it all the way in America. Makes our American cousins all kinds of edgy seeing a British cock in all its glory.”

“Oh my god,”

Leaning towards her, he whispered conspiratorially, “don’t tell Cassian. He gets a bit…competitive.”

“Your secret is safe with me,” Elain promised.

“Hardly a secret. Anything else you’d like to know, matchmaker? Or see?”

“The most significant of your tattoos?” she hopped over his proposition just like that.

He rubbed his chest, and said, “A Churchill quote: It is the time to dare and endure.”

“Is that something that helps you?”

“Something to keep me grounded when things get tough. I also have this one,” he pointed to his forearm. “Arsenal crest. And a Union Jack on my shoulder.”

The next question was Azriel’s favourite. Elain asked,

“Maradona or Pele?”

“Diego Armando Maradona,” he said at once.

“Do you believe in god?”

“No.”

“Can you change a tyre?”

“Yes.”

“The first thing you look at in a woman?”

“Her gaze. Her look.”

“Have you ever been in love?” she asked quickly, without raising her eyes from the tablet.

“No. Never. Have you?” he asked quickly.

“This isn’t about me,”

“Answer the question,” he ordered.

“No, Mr. Night. I have not been in love. Do you want to marry?”

“Seems like I have to.”

“If you didn’t need to.”

“Marriage changes little, but if the woman wants it, then yes, I would marry.”

“And children? Would you like to have children?”

“Yes. Four.”

She glanced at him and repeated, “Four?”

“Yes. Four.”

“What do you know how to cook?”

“Steak. Only the best eggs you’ve ever eaten. Really good lamb stew. A bacon sandwich. You won’t go hungry with me, pretty matchmaker. Don’t worry.”

“Is this another proposal?”

“Always!” he grinned at her. “Now that you know everything about me, am I making a more appealing candidate?”

“I am sure that you are, for others. I am not looking for a husband, Mr. Night,” she reminded him dryly.

“Why hasn’t the ginger bloke closed the deal?” Azriel started on the pastries, popping one of them in his mouth whole. That solicited a frown from Elain, but he only smiled at her. “What’s he waiting for?”

“Why do you think it’s the man, and not me?”

“You are a fucking matchmaker, princess. Of course you wanna get married. Come on now,” he bubbled his lips. “It’s like saying I am a footballer, but I don’t want to win the Ballon D’Or. Of course I do. Probably no chance of it, but nevertheless, the dream is there.”

“Maybe, hypothetically, I want to get married. But it’s nothing and to no one specific,” she finally relented. 

“Well, that’s a start,” he smiled. “Anything else? What do you want to know? My favourite colour? It’s cobalt blue, by the way. Funny how you wore a skirt in that colour the first time we met. You think it’s a sign?” he winked at her.

“No. I do not.”

“You are so hard to impress,” he complained jokingly. “Tough little cookie. But I’ll break that hard exterior and will get to the soft, gooey inside, the delicious centre.”

“Mr. Night, please remember that ours is a professional relationship. You aren’t breaking me in or whatever it is you just said. It definitely sounded wholly inappropriate. 

“I, however, must ask you more personal questions…Which, honestly, I am dreading,” she added sombrely.

Azriel stretched his very long legs under the table and crossed them at the ankles, before lacing his fingers on his stomach and smiling like an asshole at her. 

“Come on then, pretty matchmaker. Bring it on! I won’t put the moves on you–unless you want me to–and I will behave,”

“Why am I doubting everything you just said?” she whispered with a heavy sight.

“Oh, don’t. Come on, ask away!”

“I preferred you when you were reluctant and a moody arsehole, like you were at our first meeting.”

“Oh, I am still that. Don’t worry. But I am making an effort here and want to make your life a bit easier.”

“How are you in bed, Mr. Night?” she blurted out. “Any specific preferences that a prospective match should know about? Dominant? Submissive? Rough? BDSM? Any fetishes? Any musts? Any hard limits? And how do you feel about fidelity?”

“Well, fuck me that’s a lot of questions! I think I will have that whiskey after all.”

They waited for his whiskey to be delivered and Azriel took a sip, smacking his lips with appreciation.

“You are a bad influence, Ms. Archeron,” he told her. “You make me want to live.”

She looked at him and his declaration with surprise.

“And you don’t live otherwise?”

“I dunno. With you, things seem…easier. Lighter? Like I don't have to worry about my form constantly, or think about the game, or training, or restrict myself. It’s nice, you know. It feels like there is more to the world, and to my life than what I am used to. I can have a drink, and have some pastries, and wear a suit…Not just trainers that sponsor me, or salads and leafy greens and lean protein.”

Elain smiled, “You sound like my sister Nesta. She is a dancer. She is very careful about what she eats,”

“Hence the tofu that makes Pinky sick.”

“Indeed.”

He resumed his position, with his hands on his stomach and then said,

“I am rough. As a lover.”

Elain stopped typing in her IPad and stared at him, clearly not expecting this nugget of info to drop on her lap.

“Rough?” she repeated at last. “As in…violent?”

He chuckled.

“Nah, I ain’t violent, pretty girl.”

“Mr. Night,” she snapped.

“Sorry, sorry. Ms. Archeron–where I come from, fucking is quick, hard, rough and unromantic. There ain’t no flickering candles, soft music, gauzy curtains,”

“I am impressed and a bit alarmed that you just used the word ‘gauzy’,” Elain commented.

“All, I’ve been hitting the dictionary every night. Picking up fancy words to impress you with!”

“You should be impressing your future matches,” she reminded him with a meaningful look, and he nodded in acquiescence. 

“Yeah, I remember. The matches.”

“So, you are rough,” Elain repeated. 

“Listen–on and off for a few years, I didn’t even have a place to sleep when I was a teen. Three months with one family, six weeks with another, four days with another…Stretches of time in between where Cass and me had to fend for ourselves. But you know…needs must and all. My dick was a teenage dick regardless of what my family situation was, so I had to get it where I could.”

Elain listened without commenting, her face expressionless. Azriel wasn’t sure if she was shocked, or repulsed, or judging him. That damn poker face of hers was on point.

“And where could I get it? Against the wall near the chippy, or on a park bench, or in a stairwell. That doesn’t bode well for lengthy sessions of tender lovemaking.

“So I go in pretty rough. I’ll make you come–a lady, I’ll make a lady come–but if she is looking for prim and proper that ain’t me.”

He scrubbed his hand over his face. 

“I ain’t mean, Ms. Archeron. I am an athlete–I am controlled and powerful. Before I took up football, I used to box. There wasn’t much else to do where we lived, and because Cass and I were so big, we joined the local church’s boxing club. It taught me how to control my strength, my physicality, and my size. There ain’t ever been a need to be physically rough with the girl. Why? What’s she gonna do against me, you know?”

“Anything else?”

“All that other stuff you’d mentioned–BDSM, dom and sub–I don’t have any interest in that. I don’t particularly like inflicting pain, especially not on women. But if you’d like me to spank you or tie you up, I’ll tie you up. Whatever you fancy, Ms. Archeron.”

Elain blushed violently and adorably, as she scrambled to pretend to type something.

“So you do like to be spanked?” he grinned at her. He knew that she was fake typing right now.

She squirmed in her chair, and woke up Piglet, when she poked him with her foot. He snorted his disappointment and then emerged from under the table and immediately looked at Azriel with a pleading gaze. 

“I saved you a sandwich,” Azriel chuckled, tearing a piece of the sandwich and feeding it to the pug. “Coronation chicken, no less.”

Piglet began chomping on the sandwich with delight, finding a kindred spirit in Azriel. 

“I am still waiting for an answer, Ms. Archeron,” Azriel teased. “Spanking? Tying up? Are you a dom? Or do you like to submit? And before you tell me that this is not about you, I’d still like to know.”

“Well, this is not about me,” she hissed.

Azriel cocked his head to the side and looked at her with a humoured look in his eyes, asking,

“Are you a virgin?” 

“For god’s sake, Mr. Night! Why are you asking me this?!” she demanded, scandalised.

“No shame in that,” he said lightly. “If you are, I mean. I am not judging.”

“Well, I am not, Mr. Night. I am a grown woman. And not a virgin. Are you the one who is going to be asking questions now?!”

“Yes, now I am kind of into it. What’s your favourite colour?”

“Pink!” she snapped.

“How about favourite food?”

“Sushi!”

“Cold raw fish–yum. But like I said before, no judgement.”

“Feels like judgement,”

“What else can I ask?”

“Nothing!”

“Do you find me handsome?”

“No!” she cried out.

“No? But I am a handsome footballer, what’s wrong with me?”

“Your gigantic ego.”

“Ego just corresponds to other parts of my anatomy,” he shrugged innocently.

“Oh lord. We are quite finished here, Mr. Night. I think we should get the bill.”

“I think I’d like another whiskey,” he argued.

“Well, you’ll be drinking it alone.”

“Naw…Pink is staying here with me. I am feeding him sandwiches and you know he ain’t going anywhere. Sit that pretty plump arse of yours down, Ms. Archeron. We’ll go soon enough.”

She pouted, but her traitorous dog was only proving Azriel correct, as he slurped his water and chewed on the sandwich that Azriel kept feeding him.

“My arse isn’t plump,” she muttered.

He glanced at her and smiled, “I’ll be the judge of that,” he decided. “Hope the ginger bloke appreciates your arse and worships it the way it deserves to be worshipped. It’s a hella nice coupla buns. Sorry and all…but I noticed,”

“No. More. Whiskey.” Elain ordered, wiping her brow. She was going to lose 10 kilos by the time all of this was going to be over. This man needed to be in some special institution. 

“I know what kind of a wife I want!” he suddenly declared, rubbing his hands excitedly.

“Oh you do, do you? Please tell. I am…well, scared, but also intrigued.”

“I want the kind of girl who kisses me at red lights.”

“That’s actually…kind of romantic,” Elain agreed, surprised. He made no sense this man, but he definitely kept her on her toes.

“Yeah, kind of like she can’t even wait to give me a hot and sloppy one. So she waits until we are at a red light and goes for it.”

Meanwhile, Piglet finished his sandwich and ambled towards the massive wall of windows, looking out with great interest. Because he was wearing his Burberry jacket, and now stood in front of a window overlooking the Gherkin, the Tower of London and the Tower Bridge, charmed tourists and other guests began pointing at him and oohing and ahhing with delight, completely awed by the stylish pug.

“They gonna start taking photos of him.” Azriel whispered to Elain, and she smiled, nodding, while she quickly snapped a pic of her own.

“Going on his Insta?” he joked, while the waiter brought another whiskey. Azriel figured that he might not be leaving here any time soon. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in god knows how long. 

“Obviously!” she tapped something quickly on her phone and in the next minute, showed it to him.

It was an amazing photo, considering that she barely even moved to take it–but Piglet looked like he was floating above the city, his expression pensive, his jacket on point, every landmark below him captured with crisp precision. 

Enjoying London Town #puginthesky #whenpugsfly #puglyfe

“How do you even come up with these so quickly?” he shook his head, but then quickly requested, “send it to me. I want to have it. Also, it’s a gorgeous pic!”

“Thank you.”

Elain reached for her bag and then withdrew a folder, which she lay on the table, between the two of them.

“What’s that?”

“Mr. Night, I wanted to mention this before we go further.”

“Sounds ominous,” he huffed.

“Are you currently…sexually active?”

He cocked his brow at her and chuckled, “what a question, Ms. Archeron! Why? Are you interested?”

She ignored the suggestive quip and said, “It’s just that it would be preferential if you maintain a certain amount of abstinence while being matched. You can certainly decide to engage in sexual relations with the match when the two if you are ready, but I would ask you to treat it as you would a normal relationship…”

“I’ve never been in a relationship,” he sipped his whiskey. “So I am no expert. But I think I can manage it.”

“You truly haven’t been in a relationship?”

“No. Not really.”

“And yet you can abstain?” she confirmed.

“Matchmaker,” he sighed, “I am almost 30, I have some self-control. It’s been a while since I’ve lost control over pussy,”

“Mr. Night!”

“Sorry, sexual relations. Listen, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my youth. Nothing too terrible, but I should’ve done better. Now I am the Captain, and the younger lads look up at me. I want to do right by them, make sure that their careers don’t blow up, that they are careful with their money and the women that they are with. With us–you can get one injury, and it could be career ending. Everything you’ve been counting on, planning on, expecting, working for a decade towards–poof, gone! All because someone made a bad tackle, or you ran wrong, or a ligament snapped. And you are left with nothing, all the contracts and games and endorsements are gone just like that,” he snapped his fingers. “Everyone thinks they’ll be a Ronaldo, or a Messi, or a Zidane, but that’s untrue for most players. 

“So now, I feel a sense of responsibility. Look at me–I am an old fucker,” he laughed. “But it’s true. So yeah, I can abstain. When we travel, I don’t party all that much. After dinner, I usually go back to the hotel and play Candy Crush. Or read dark romances.”

At that, Elain giggled, “you do not read dark romances!” she argued.

“Yeah I fuckin’ do!” he insisted.

“Such a liar!”

“Telling you,”

“Okay, so what are you reading currently?” 

“Shantel Tessier’s ‘Carnage’,” he reported immediately. 

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s super smutty,” was the verdict.

“You do not read Shantel Tessier!” Elain gawked at him adorably, completely taken aback.

“You’d be incorrect. Listen, I had an injury a couple of years ago and was in rehab for two months. I was bored out of my mind. The nurse who was taking care of me got me hooked up on dark romances. I fuckin’ love that shite!” he admitted excitedly. “You ladies write some bloody crazy shit. Never read anything like that written by a man!”

Azriel glanced in Pinky’s direction and smiled widely. The pug was legitimately posing for photos and creating a mini stampede around him. He was even giving over the shoulder looks, not to mention all sorts of side and front poses, knowing exactly what needed to be done to gain the most reaction. 

“Hey mate, you can photograph him, but don’t touch him,” Azriel said protectively, when some guy wanted to pick the dog up. “He doesn’t like anyone but me and my girl touching him. He bites.”

Maybe the truth was stretched a bit, but whatever. It worked, because the bloke stepped back cautiously and didn’t attempt to touch the dog anymore.

‘I am not your girl,” Elain said quietly, crimping the napkin on her lap.

“No. But you could be. Nothing’s stopping you,” he said simply.

With that, Elain pushed the folder towards him and explained,

“Your first match”.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hi steph!!!! hope you're doing great!!!! any fic posts you havent published yet but would.love to! i am your sign from the universe :D

Hi Nonny!

Sorry for how long I took to use this ask, but I kept it until I've run out of requests for lists I've ready-to-post, so THANK YOU!!!!

I have a few lists-from-asks I'm currently working on but nothing ready for right now, LOL. So let's see... How about this one, which I doubt will get requests anytime soon, so I hope this pleases you guys!! <3 Enjoy!

G, T & M-RATED JOHNLOCK FOR NEWCOMERS Pt. 3 (20K+)

See also:

E-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 1 (Short Fics under 20K)

E-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 2

G,T, & M-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt. 1 (Under 5K)

G,T, & M-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt. 2 (5K-20K)

Novel-Length, Not-So-Angsty Recs for Newbies

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w., 13 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Texting, Humour, Post-TRF, Awkward Romance, Idiots in Love) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Trust Me, Trust Nobody by BlueMoonOnTheRise (T, 27,751 w., 10 Ch. || Kidnapping, Friendship / No Slash, Adventure, Trust Issues) – Whatever he told Mycroft, John trusted Sherlock almost instantly. When a new case shows up - smattered with the usual thrill of danger, death and cool logic - such trust ends up pushed to its very limits... 

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

Domestic Matters by ohlooktheresabee (M, 29,404 w., 6 Ch. || Fantasy AU || First Meetings, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, BAMF Sherlock, BAMF John, Idiots in Love, Misunderstandings, Supernatural Elements, Implied / Referenced Child Abuse, Elf Sherlock, Human/Elf Politics, Emotional Abuse, Possessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Buddy Greg) – All flatmates need to work out domestic matters between them - who does the dishes, who takes out the rubbish, how often does the carpet need to be vacuumed - these are part and parcel of sharing a living space together. However, when you’re an elf and your flatmate is going to be a human you just met, this rather complicates things…Very loosely inspired by 'The Elves and The Shoemaker' by The Brothers Grimm.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w., 11 Ch. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John's POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 Stories || Ace!Sherlock, Kisses, Cuddles & Snuggles, Schmoop, Platonic Romance) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

A Study Of Living With Sherlock Holmes by  AllesandraQuartermaine (T, 50,234 w., 22 Ch. || Post-ASiP/Pre-TAB, Domestics, Friendship, POV John) – Learn about what happened between John and Sherlock January 31st and March 22. From John's pov on how to survive and learn to live with one eccentric mad genius known as Sherlock Holmes. 

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

John Watson's Twelve Days of Christmas by earlgreytea68 (M, 53,464 w., 14 Ch. || Christmas, Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Alternate First Meeting, Falling in Love, Fluff and Angst, Hardcore Pining) – It's the holiday season. John Watson needs money. Sherlock Holmes needs something else.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Case Fic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (T, 91,009 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, Case Fic) – John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level…

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w., 215 Ch. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Developing Relationship, Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,100 w. across 45 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They've been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

Fallen Series by Belladonna_Q, mamishka (T, 222,094 w. across 3 works || Winglock || Angel!John, Angels & Demons, Faes, Christianity, Changelings) – In a world where myth, mystery, and the supernatural flourish beneath the veneer of modern civilization, Sherlock is a master of magic as well as science and deduction. But there are some things that he cannot see, riddles he cannot unravel, even when they walk right beside him in the form of one John Watson…

[solitaryandwandering]

15 people, 15 questions

I was tagged by @wen-kexing-apologist (here) and @telomeke (here), always glad to arrive late to a tag game!

1. Are you named after anyone?

I share a middle name with my paternal and maternal grandmothers (and coincidentally with an aunt who married into the family). As for my first name, my dad used to tell everyone that I was named after Meg Ryan, who he had a crush on and my mom really disliked (unrelated to the crush). It's a slightly creepy story and entirely untrue. I believe in reality they just thought the name sounded nice and chose it over the alternative, Kate (thank GOD).

2. When was the last time you cried?

I honestly can't remember the last time I full-on cried. Usually I only really cry when reading, watching shows or films or otherwise engaging with emotions in that way. When I was visiting family in Ohio I was feeling pretty unlike myself and stifled (the majority of the family are Trump supporters or centrists, if that gives you any idea of the kind of stuff being said). Whenever I visit them and the attention turns to me, the only things they tend to focus on are my love of reading (which I can no longer do very often) and disabilities. I am the first to assert that I am not ashamed of being disabled but there's very little agency I feel around this group of people (and though I love my immediate family they weren't always very helpful), made all the worse by the fact that my sight has considerably worsened in the last year, so any and all attention and vicarious grieving was a bit more difficult to swallow this time around. So, the night before we left, I did sit in the bathroom and tear up for a bit. But, no crying! Legitimately, one of my intentions of the new year is to let myself fully feel my emotions so I can more consciously heal from more of my PTSD and be more mindful in my life, which necessitates more tears. Lots to unpack there.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I'm unsure if I ever want any. Definitely don't ever want to be pregnant. But I do love kids a lot.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I consider myself to be naturally pretty athletic, despite it all. When I was growing up I played a wide myriad of sports, like tee-ball, ballet (is that a sport?), track (usually 200m), and volleyball, with lots of swimming, gymnastics, rock-climbing (usually in the context of hiking), basketball, baseball, and football thrown in there. I'm still pretty proud of the fact that I can throw a perfect spiral (though getting my hand around the football is a bitch). I used to do a decent amount of weight-lifting, too. I was asked to play rugby at one point in middle school by my history teacher but had to decline due to the risk to my cochlear implant. But by far my number one sport was soccer; I played 19 seasons before I graduated high school, though it was always on a club level. I was actually pretty good (and very fast), if inconsistent (Usher + ADHD + low confidence + toxic sports environment led to some apathy on my end). My nickname was "bulldog" because I was so effectively aggressive and quick. I usually played as a defender (all positions, but left-winger typically), though I was also a midfielder due to my speed. Pretty sure I played every position at least once. Only scored one goal, and it was not an auspicious moment lmfao. I really loved the sport, even if I was bullied/ostracized by many of the girls. Right now, I don't play sports and am in the worst shape of my life, so a 2024 intention is to slowly get back into exercising as regularly as possible, even if I can only regularly keep up with PT workouts.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I am almost entirely made up of sarcasm and dark humor. I've had to soften this, though, since a large majority of people in my life are not super receptive to either due to either some neurodiversity or trauma.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Depends on the environment, haha. If it's crowded, loud and unfamiliar I am usually noticing people's position in relation to me, if they're looking at me, and if they're trying to say something to me. So, a lot of looking at people's mouths. Otherwise, I think I still notice people's proximity, their body language, their eyes and smile/facial expressions. I grock on to people's emotions pretty quickly so I notice their general mood, too.

7. What’s your eye color?

On the brown side of hazel. I actually think they're a pretty color, especially when sunlight hits them. Then they can look golden, with some streaks of green or copper.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Weird dichotomy, but ok. I'd say I largely prefer happy endings, especially if they're earned. I'd actually argue that some scary movies do have happy endings, just depends on your definition of "happy." I like horror quite a bit, especially as a genre to discuss and learn about, but my OCD does not enjoy watching them, so I am pretty particular about the ones I see.

9. Any talents?

Yes, I suppose? I think I am good at analysis, critical thinking, listening to others, media literacy/reading comprehension, coming up with creative ideas, and learning new things. I also like trivia, though it's been a long time since I really exercised that talent. I think I'm a pretty good writer, too. Really had to resist sarcasm and self-criticism, there.

10. Where were you born?

In a hospital in Northern Virginia, strangled by my umbilical cord and forcibly pulled from my mother with forceps.

11. What are your hobbies?

Watching BL and scrolling Tumblr, of course. But I also love watching films, in general, and reading media analysis and criticism. I also like reading social critique (that's my sociology degree talking) and lightly keeping up on psychological research in areas I'm interested in (trauma, sexual health, mental illness/health, developmental psychology, etc.) as much as I can. I also listen to a lot of podcasts (mostly fiction) and listen to music. Another intention for the new year is to slowly get back into reading books, however I can. And I also want to write more about BL on here :)

12. Do you have any pets?

Technically no - we have one dog which was passed on to us when my high school Braille teacher died, but she is with my dad, whom my mom is in the process of divorcing. He is holding on to her both as emotional support and collateral. So... I am not sure if I will see her again.

13. How tall are you?

Sort of average, around 5 ft 4 in

14. Favorite subject in school?

English, first and foremost. Followed by history (though my teachers usually were not great), most sciences (even if the mathematical sections caused some grief), and anything artistic or creative, such as a film studies elective I took in high school. In college I liked most of my psychology and sociology classes, thankfully, since those were my majors. Basically anything but math. I could always get behind the theoretical enjoyment of mathematics but (undiagnosed) dyscalculia REALLY made me suffer in those classes.

15. Dream job

If I ever get enough money and stability to do so, I want to go to grad school to become a clinical social worker. Otherwise, my actual "dream job" is to work in some way in media analysis, though I have no idea what that would entail or what it would look like.

Not tagging 15 people, I don't even know that many who would do something like this lol. Do if you want!

[dreamii-krybaby]

Random Thad analysis.

Yo so I just realized smth

Thad can actually become a pretty good fighter against DDs and will probably join the main squad in the future

Hold up lemme explain-

So we all know thad is based off a stereotypical jock right? But,he is also implied to be an American football player

TLDR: wild adhd bisexual girl does mental gymnastics to explain why a random robot jock mainly plays A. Football. And with enough practice,he can become a good fighter,which he is already quite decent at it.

If you look at his betta design you can see shoes with spikes at the bottom,after researching a bit these sort of shoes are used by football players,rugby players and American football players.

Tho it seems in his final design his shoes ended up becoming average sport sneakers,now it could be just bc this shot is blurry,but they seem to have lack spikes. Despite that I still think related to American Football. And why? Easy his hat design.

Look at the back of his hat, it has an American football symbol! With a cable connected to it? (Probably some design choice to make it look cool).

And the fact he is also jock just makes it all clear,like even if he played other sports or hasn’t touched American football he still makes a decent fighter.

why would this make him a good fighter?

Easy,experience. Sports mostly help you improve some of your skills(like speed,strength,fast problem solving,cooperation and in some,throwing precision,but in rugby and A. Football is tackling) Yes sports don’t automatically turn you into a professional fighter but it can help you a bit. (Also btw the season one trailer reveals what seems to be a basketball gym (the one with 2 corpses hanging upside down,you can actually see a head tossed in the basketball ring) so yes there are gyms at the colony,and yes,indoor A. Football gyms exist).

Not only that we have also seen put up an ok fight against threats:

In the pilot for example,despite being thrown across the room 2 times (1st one by J and 2nd one by V) and being stabbed in the chest twice (also one made by J and the other by V) and clearly leaking a bit more oil than the usual. My man still could stand up and still tried to put up a fight with a random pipe he found.

In EP2 he doesn’t really fight at lot (in fact he reminds me of a damsel in distress,fun seeing that dynamic switching up genders) it could be bc Eldritch J was a new thing to him and was probably taken over by shock. Tho this scene makes me think that while he has taken captive by Eldritch J my man was probably fighting for his dear life. As by simply raising his fist he was able to scare off the AS,which could be just a funny lil gag,but a hoe can dream.

I think with enough practice and him learning how to calm himself in stressful situations he can become a pretty good fighter.

If he does end up joining the gang (which will probably occur) he can be a great ally and friend! (Perhaps even boyfriend-).

Anyways am in love with this fucker and I like how they switched up the stereotypes with him (being a typical jock,who you think its a bully but it’s actually the friendliest character. Him,a boy being the damsel in distress while uzi a (badass) girl,being his lifesaver and saving his ass twice. And finally a jock with a chill personality. (Ive also realized how all the main male characters have a softer or much more chill personality compared to the main female characters)).

[bepop-moon]

!!SPOILERS!!

The Fourth Wing review !!!

WHAT. I just finished the fourth wing like 5 minutes ago and i NEED to talk about it before i go to the store and buy the second book.

- I am an ultimate book-lover and it takes a lot for me to dislike a book so this is just gonna be filled the positive things that i loved

I’ll get nerding about the world-building out the way first

So for starters, this book was so well written. As a fantasy lover, i’m a sucker for a well-built fantasy world. I loved how without being too heavy on description Rebecca managed to describe the world beautifully and naturally. I love how developed the history and culture is, the religion and beliefs and values.

I love Rebecca’s take on dragons. The idea of bonding and the mental communication and emotional connection. I don’t know how original it is but it was so well-done in this story. The design of the dragons and the different species are not overcomplicated and the way she wrote it made it easy to understand. I love the descriptions of the dragons, but also (this is just my opinion) i love that Rebecca didn’t shy away from the sheer size of the dragons. Ik in fantasy there are no rules about species like this, but in all folklore and mythology dragons are like, huge, and not enough books show that.

Overall, the world building is 10/10 and perfectly woven into the story.

Things that had my jaw on the floor

Something that had me ✨flabbergasted ✨ was the small details Rebecca snuck in there unnoticed. Now i was kicking myself when it came to Violet finally finding out her signet was lightning and Xaden tells her he suspected it from the first time they kissed. I went back and realised that in that scene lightning was striking. I usually pick up on these things 😭😭

Another example is- and this one hurt me physically because i realised like the paragraph before they said it- all the times dain “caressed her cheek” or “cupped her face” the actual vulgar little maggot (i hate him). I hate that they didn’t finish him off in this book and i so hope that Xaden or Violet ends him when they get back. if not i will.

Also, the ENDING??!! THE LAST FEW LINES??!! HELLO?!?!? I did call it though as soon as she woke up and Xaden looked at her wound and it was all healed up, i was like woah hang on i thought this was the venins poison. But I WASNT EXPECTING TO MEET HIM. I do want to just say that it really ticked me off because i don’t believe Xaden knew Brennan was alive but didn’t tell violet. I want to think he found out when he got there but i think he mentioned knowing this was the place to come or something. They must have a bloody good reason to be keeping this one ☝️

The characters 🥺🥺🥺

i was in love with EVERY single one of the characters. I love how every character was focussed on at one point or another so you could connect with all of them. I love the entire groups chemistry. I think an easier way to explain would be to go through them individually:

VIOLET- So, i made a post when i was in the early chapters of this book about how she annoyed me. She was very much a stereotypical “aren’t i just💁‍♀️…too small and weak🥺to play rugby👉👈” kind of girl, and i could see myself disliking the book if it kept up. I also said i can see how, if done correctly, she could have the BEST character development and gods, it didn’t disappoint. Rebecca showed Violet growing mentally and physically in a really real and natural way. It was forced, rushed or skimmed over. It was really a big part of the whole story, and i really loved it. Violet is my short, feisty girlboss and she’s litterally my idol. I volunteer as tribute guys, i will join the riders quadrant to be with her 😔😔. Dw, I can replace Liam. I love her sarcasm. She’s litterally me if i had confidence. Her chemistry with everyone else is on point.

RHIANNON- So dispite the fact that I was pronouncing her name wrong for a good chunk of the book, THIS GURL IS ONE OF MY FAVS. Everyone needs a friend like Rhi, period. She’s also a bisexual queen (** i will lead into this later) which makes me love her even more. Massive crush. She’s so badass.

RIDOC- okay now hes just a cutie patootie 🥰🥰 like “YES THATS OUR GIRL” when Vi beat the gauntlet had my heart melting. I want one. i want a ridoc. He’s my under appreciated baby.

THE OG GANG (Vi, Rhi, Ridoc, Sawyer)- I honestly wish they had more time. I could never get enough of them. The chemistry 😭 get me a friend group like this.

LIAM- i cried. no sorry i balled. like omg why was taking him like that necessary 😭😭 But i did know he was gonna die cuz i remember when he gave vi the wooden tairn he made, i said to myself “uh oh he’s too nice he’s not gonna live”. The emotional attachment i had to this man. But besides that, the whole backstory of him and Xaden being his foster-brother and the two of them having gone through so much together was soo good. I’m so glad Xaden was given a character to fall back on, and in a sad way, i’m glad that his loss was what made him break in the end. He stayed so strong for both Violet and Xaden. He’s so loyal and sweet, there is nothing not to love about him. RIP 🩷🩷🩷

XADEN- Where do i even start with this man. just love. love love love love ❤️ Ngl, i didn’t like his description and his initial impression looks-wise which (silly me with my high fictional person standards) put me off him for the first part. But- i made a post about this aswell- i think that’s just me personally not liking big, tall, dark, hunky men. I couldn’t picture him correctly. That is until i went onto pinterest and started picturing a slightly more buff Zayn Malik with fluffy hair and reading-glasses that i liked the sound of him a lot more. OkOk besides looks, I think Xaden is my favourite character. He was so compassionate to Violet as they got closer, and just every small thing he did i loved. I mostly loved how gift-giving is his love language. Okay let’s list off the things Xaden gave: The dagger, the saddle, flowers, dick, coffee, head, his jacket, more daggers. lol anyway he had it made just for her 😭😭 So i love how we got to see him and his high defences all come crumbling down at the end. He knew he messed up when he kept secrets, and the way he was like “i will try every day for the rest of my life to make you trust me again”. The battle- Liams loss and thinking he lost Violet must’ve affected him so much i just wanna give him a big hug. AND HIS CHAPTER AT THE END 😭 i squealed when i saw it was his perspective. i want more of that ngl. When he said he felt unloved since his father died. He’s a little bundle of trauma and i love him for that. Angst aside, the pet name, the banter, the mind talking thing THE CHEMISTRY AHHHH. Best boy.

The Family trio (Liam, Xaden, Bodhi)- their connection was so cute and refreshing. It was so nice to see Xaden have people he can rely on other than Vi, and they are so iconic. I wish they got more time. I also wanted to see more of Bodhi and how he dealt with Liam’s loss. It was all very Xaden-heavy. Let’s not forget about him 🥺

The cool bois 😎 (Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi)- Honestly, i bet they act like young teenagers. I like to imagine them getting extremely competitive over a card game like dobble or smt and flipping the table. The way Garrick and Bodhi both always had Xaden’s back, keeping his secrets, knowing his history, which he doesn’t tell many people. They also quietly had Violets back too, when they cleaned up her room after her attack in the night, and then hauled in a new armoire after their.. evening together. They are also funny and Garrick and Bodhi are so quick to defend Xaden in a rlly wholesome way.

Sex 🫢

Okay so this is a fun one 🤩 First i’ll talk about sexuality in this book and the representation. Although this is just a small detail my queer ass naturally picks up on, is how i love that sexuality isn’t an explicitly identified thing in this world, it just is what it is. You sleep with who you sleep with, you love who you love. It’s not a labelled thing. Rhiannon slept with tara- normal. Then she slept with Sawyer- normal. Ridoc slept with some older guy idk- normal. Ridoc then made jokes about sleeping with violet. normal. It’s just so natural and normalised and i like that she didn’t read too deep into it. that’s all. And also the Non-binary (again not labelled) rep with i think their name was Heaton? idk but i like never see they/thems in books so it was kinda nice. I think it’s a nice thing about creating a fantasy world, you can litterally portray things like this however you want, because it’s your fictional society, and you can give them whatever norms and values you want.

Ok smut 🫣. The book had good smut, a dedicated smut chapter, and a lot of steamy moments after that. But i won’t lie to you, the main smut scene was giving edward cullen destroying the bed 😥 like ngl i was scared- and then the lightning?!? girl- anyway it was wild. I like how Xaden was openly humble, reluctant to go any further in fear of “taking advantage of her after a shit day”, He cares so much 🥺❤️. The consent was a nice part. And then another thing, that kind of relates to what i was saying about the perks of being able to create the norms of a fictional society, is how they both mentioned they were on fertility surpressants. Both of them, not just her. I liked that small detail. OTHERWISE I WAS LITTERALLY SCARED FOR HER LIFE ON THAT SCENE😭😭

My only complaint about this in particular, some might disagree is that as much as i like smut in a book, i prefer it a lot more when it’s evenly split with fluff and wholesome cuddles and forehead kisses and stuff. It was just a very sexual-heavy relationship. Although, it’s understandable considering they ARENT ACTUALLY DATING !!!

Just some other things i liked:

- Tairn and Andarna 🥺 They are so cute just eeee!!

- Golden one and silver one

- “violence”

- Jesinia, using sign. love 👏the👏inclusivity👏

- The way the storyline all came together at the end. It’s just the best feeling when you read a book and you’re getting the ending and you can see all the small details tying together perfectly, and Rebecca did SUCH a good job at that

- I love the note at the beginning saying “the following text has been translated..” because it adds such a cool small layer of depth to the whole story

- How Rebecca showed violets trauma. She couldn’t bring herself to show weakness in front of others so she runs away to somewhere where she knows she can be alone to cry. How everything comes crumbling down on her when she sees mira again. How she panics when someone she loves is at risk. How she has flashbacks when she killed Barlowe. Beautiful 😍

- Jack’s death being her discovery of her signet and a big moment for her, how it was ruined by the fear and instant trauma of killing him (lol he had it coming)

Complaints !!

I don’t think i have many complaints about this book at all, only that all the guys look the same with different hair colours 😭 i said earlier about how i don’t like the stereotypical buff protective guy and that’s what im imagining them all as. More male diversity. Obvs i mentioned the lack of fluff. Probably could’ve done with more angst.

also dain was the biggest ick from the start

The next book???

I CANT WAIT!! i’ll probably stop by and buy it tomorrow. There are a few things i’m interested in:

-Brennan 🧍‍♂️

-Xadenviolet fixing itself

-Torturing Dain 😍

-The REBELLION!! hunger games who? violet everdeen who?

something i do hope is that it continues right where it left off, because istg if rebecca decides to do something clever and introduce a whole new set of characters and not even MENTION my babies until like the end of the book i will come to her house and scrap her (a formal threat). I hope it will be just as good as the first one!! it was very quick to be released but i bet she has a trilogy or series or something lined up she will be popping out soon. I don’t see Iron Flame being the last book of the series.

Conclusion 🤩🤩💃🕺

10/10 would recommend to young-adult readers!! It just had the perfect blend of, fantasy world, storyline, romance, plot twists and action that a story could have. Will give me so much daydreaming material to work with. Very inspiring for my own fantasy world aswell !! lots of small details to take inspo from and a very cool world to explore. The whole Xadenviolet arc from start to not-so-finish is annoyingly touching and Dain is just annoying!! (i hate him)

If you got this far thanks for reading :) xx

[childemug]

Fun Fact About Sekizan !

The lil keychain that Sekizan has on his phone exists in real life! I honestly thought it was some fictional mascot character that Amase-sensei made up but nope. its real! They don't have a specific name but they're usually called ermine keychains

You can just search up オコジョ キーホルダー (okojo keyholder) or オコジョ お土産 (okojo omamori/souvenir) if you wanna google it. Okojo just means ermine.

For the history on them, they're a sort of a pop culture/nostalgia item for schoolgirls in the 90s-00s. You usually see them at souvenir shops (especially ones around temples). The different colors symbolize different wishes or luck that you want.

In the anime only, the ermine keychain doesn't have a specific color. The orb itself is pink but there is no corresponding pink fur which it is supposed to have. Just by the fur color, white would mean the keychain is for happiness. If we are considering the pink orb, it would relate to some kind of love/falling in love charm...

Anyways.

In the manga (the beginning of chapter 74), you can see the charm has dark-colored fur. While the monochrome of the manga doesn't explicitly imply that it is a certain color, it IS a very dark tone. Some of the colors it could be are purple, dark blue, grey, black, or green.

Purple is for Victory

Dark Blue is for Self Confidence and Courage

Grey is for Strong Luck (as in alotta luck)

Black is for Sucess

Green is for Health

I just noticed that the orb on his' is a lighter color than the fur...meaning its most likely the grey one. BUT!

Honestly, any of these could work for him because they all somehow relate to rugby. I'd like to think his mom bought one for him...hehe.

Here's the blog that I got a lot of my information from! But take all of this information with a grain of salt because I am not Japanese and am using solely this one blog as the source of my information!!

Here's also the yahoo shopping site I got the image from.

Just a to ramble a bit but its sooooooooo cute that he has that...bc its something mainly (and maybe only) school GIRLS have...ooogguhghhhhhhhhhhh he's adorable. the gap moe factor is INSANE. He's this big guy but he has a flip phone with a lil ermine keychain that usually girls have UUHRGGGGHHHHHHHH MY PRINCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[icarian-carrion]

character info sheet.

Name: Tisha Whileaway

Name meaning: Tisha changed her name back in 2013 after leaving home and starting her career as an artist. She has legally changed it since for convenience's sake. Tisha comes from the Latin name Leticia, meaning joy. Whileaway she took from writer Johanna Russ’s feminist sci fi writing. In Russ’s short story When It Changed, Whileaway is a human colony planet made up entirely of women.

Alias(ses): You could call her birth name Kavitha an alias (She considers Tisha to be her real name now), but she doesn't really use it. She's essentially always Tisha - only her family still calls her Kavitha.

Two pictures you like of your character:

Three headcanons you never told anyone: (This is actually headcanons I’ve never told anyone this time around because they’re very old whoops)

The consequences for Tisha being turned into a vampire would be dire. Her second sight plus a vampire’s perception would turn her into a kind of a vampiric Dr. Manhattan, seeing and experiencing all of reality at the same time. She’d live through it, but it would not be a good thing.

Tisha has exactly 1 (one) canon past life though there are probably more. She was a dye merchant in Ancient Rome. This ended poorly.

Tisha has a BA in Art History from McMaster University, where she also played on the women’s rugby team.

Three things your character likes to do in their free time:

Travel. Tisha loves taking in new sights and adding to her visual lexicon.

Go to hockey and football games (She’s a Leafs girl and is invested in the Argos, but if all there is to watch is an NFL game she will show up for the Packers)

Go bar hopping, which will usually end at a dance club. Tisha loves the chaos and noise of the nightlife, and will try to drink you under the table.

Three people your character loves:

Her family. I have to keep this to one slot because she has (checks notes) four brothers, two sisters, eleven nieces and nephews, and nine aunts and uncles. It’s a massive family, and while she can’t be her complete self with them, she loves them.

Her friends, especially the supernatural ones (one slot for the same reason). Tisha loves quickly and deeply, there is very little daylight between a first meeting and “I will risk my life for you” which is a character flaw but she doesn’t see it that way.

She doesn’t have a partner, but expect her to love as deep and as fast as she does her friends when she finds one. Tisha loves love, loves being in love, loves having a muse she adores.

Two things your character regrets:

Picking up smoking. She started when she was seventeen for the aesthetic, and now that she’s almost thirty and she’s not as athletic as she was, it’s a drag.

Never finding a way to explain what she is to her parents. She thinks it’s probably for the best, but she has a good relationship with them, and hiding it from them is extremely difficult.

Three phobias (fears) your character has:

Silence.

Similarly, going blind, or anything that robs her of one or more senses.

Forest fires.

tagged by: @radicalrascals about a zillion years ago bc I am bad at doing these but I appreciated it so so much thank you.

tagging: @deepseawarlock @gretaphasmatosmartin @bloodrodeo @worldofsenelfy @adsagsona

[oneinchfrog]

crush culture by oneinchfrog

words: 1.6k

raine whispers & lilith clawthorne

summary: raine helps lilith sort out her feelings. (human high school au)

author's notes: this was originally going to be parter of a larger au, but I only really had the motivation to write this part. i started it in april, left it alone for a bit, and just today finally opened it up and found an ending that i liked. this is my first full fic i've ever put on tumblr!!

Lilith lets out a sigh of relief as the bell rings.  “Ok, that’s all, everyone- Darius, remember to keep me updated on how those decorations go- bye everyone!”

School council members rush to pack up their papers and throw out their lunch garbage, eager to move on to a doubtlessly more interesting period.  Lilith sweeps some crumbs into the trash can and zips up her lunchbox.  She needs to get to her locker fast- it’s on the other side of the school and she can’t be late for AP Lit again.

“Hey, um… Lily?”

She looks up.  It’s Adrianna, nervously looking at her shoes.

“Yeah?” She doesn’t have time for small talk, she needs to hurry up-

“I was wondering… um…” She shifts her water bottle between her hands.  “Wouldyoumaybewanttogotothewinterformalwithme?”

“What?” Lilith’s cheeks flush and her mind starts to race.

“Only if you want to- I mean- I was just thinking- you’re so smart and like… I don’t know, pretty and-” Adrianna’s eyes are wide. “And I know we don’t know each other very well but-”

“I… I have to go,” Lilith mutters, pushing past Adrianna towards the door.  Amidst the jumble of thoughts racing through her head, she realizes she can’t just leave Adrianna like that.  “I mean, it’s… it’s not a no, I just need to think-”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s fine, I- I wouldn’t want to make you late-”

Lilith rushes down the hallway.  What was that?  I’ve never been asked out to anything before, usually Eda gets all the attention- I mean- I don’t like her like that, I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone like that-

She stops in her tracks.

“Adrianna is a girl,” she mutters.  I mean, yeah, of course, she thinks to herself.  But I’ve never even thought about liking girls before.  How am I supposed to know?  I’ve never had a crush on anyone- I feel like I should’ve by now, is something wrong with me?

She ducks into the restroom and shuts herself into a stall.  She’s going to be super late, but it’s not like she’d be able to focus in class anyway- she needs to calm down and sort things out.  She slides her phone out of her pocket and taps out a text.  Edalyn will know what to do.

can you come to the D hallway bathroom?  i need advice.

First I get asked out, then I skip class, she thinks to herself.  I’m gaining all sorts of new experiences today. 

Three dots soon appear and dance at the bottom of her screen for a minute before Eda presses the send button.

srry sis

if i skip another spanish class i get kicked off the rugby team :/

Lilith leans against the stall door and breathes deeply.  She can still make it to AP Lit, she can just blame her lateness on locker trouble or something.  It’s not like the teachers are paid enough to care.  Lilith gathers up her stuff, unlocking the door of the stall.  She stops in the mirror to briefly fix her hair and takes a deep breath.  She’ll be fine.  She can make it through two more classes without losing it.  People get asked out all the time, right?  It’s nothing.  She just needs to breathe.  In, out, in, out.  Brea-

“Lily?” Lilith whirls around to see Raine uncertainly clutching a hall pass at the door of the bathroom.  “Sorry, Eda asked me to check on you- she said you had a problem?”

Lilith exhales.  “Of course she did.  I’m fine, Whispers.”

Raine looks pointedly at her shaky hands.  “You can tell me.”

Lilith heaves a resigned sigh.  It’s not like she’s especially close with Raine Whispers, but Eda is always going on about how caring and brave and clever they are.  She figures that they might be able to help her out, and even if they can’t, it would still be good to talk to someone about it.  “Okay, but not in a filthy public restroom.  The teachers will catch us and Mother will have my ass.”

“What about the long closet?”

“Alright.”

The long closet is kind of Eda’s secret hideout- a narrow, dirty room housing the school’s electricity panel, some extra mops, and whatever contraband Eda has stashed there at the moment.  She would sneak there to set up her next pranks, skip class, and would sometimes take Raine with her.

Raine pulls open the door and ushers her in, locking it behind them with a soft click.  Lilith perches on an upside-down bucket and lets her eyes wander the closet- there isn’t much to examine, but it’s been a couple months since she was last in here.  She notes a line of apple juice boxes arranged on the top shelf- Eda really has made this place her own.

Raine reaches into a bin and pulls out a bag of Swedish Fish.  They tear it open and lean back.  “So, whatcha got for me, Clawthorne?”

She takes a deep breath.  “So, I was at a student council meeting- you know how I basically got saddled with planning the entire winter formal?  We were meeting to, ah, finalize some details and on the way out, and- um- do you know Adrianna?”

Raine nods.  “Huxley, right?”  They pop a red fish into their mouth.

“Yeah.” Lilith leans forward and holds out a hand.  “Gimme one of those.”  Raine drops a Swedish Fish into her palm.

She brings it to her mouth and chews on the candy thoughtfully.  “She came up to me and sort of… asked me to the dance.”

Raine’s eyes widen slightly.  “Well… do you like her?”

“No- that’s the thing.  How do I reject her?  She’s like… really nice and I was kind of hoping we could be friends, but…”

Raine swallows.  “Mm, yeah, I can see why you went to Eda with this.  She’s had to reject a lot more people than I have.”  They tear open the bag a bit more, to reach the fish at the bottom.  “My advice?  Just be honest.  Tell her what you told me- that she’s really nice but you’d prefer that you were friends instead,”  They cross one leg over the other.  “She’s just not your type, and that’s not her fault.”

Lilith sighs.  “That’s the thing, Whispers.  I don’t think I have a type.  I’ve never had a crush on anyone.  Like, ever.”

“That’s okay,” Raine says around another fish.

“No, it’s not!” Lilith whines and leans back against the wall.  “Everyone gets crushes.  I’m supposed to get crushes.”  She takes off her glasses and starts to clean them on her shirt.  “I should just say yes.  Maybe I’ll start to feel something towards her then.”

“Look, Lily, I usually say this to Eda and not you but, are you crazy?” Raine sets the bag down.  “You can’t just lead Adrianna on- that’s not fair to either of you.”

Lilith groans, placing her head in her hands.  “Why can’t I just be normal?”

“Don’t say that,” Raine scoots next to her, drawing their legs close to their chest.  “Forget whatever’s socially acceptable.  You’re just as good as anyone who gets crushes, and I’m sure Eda will beat the shit out of anyone who says otherwise.”

Lilith snorts, because it’s true.  “Okay.”  She feels her eyes misting over.

“I’m serious.  Romantic attraction or no, Lilith Clawthorne, you’re a pretty cool girl.”

She nods, a tear tracing her cheek.  “I hope so.”  Her voice cracks.

“You okay?” Raine leans forward.

“I will be.” She sniffles.

“Good.”  They check their watch and stand up to stretch.  “Well, we’ve still got a little bit before next period- do you want a snack?”

Lilith gets up, too, and reaches for a box of apple juice.  She carefully pokes the straw into it.

“Okay, I get if you’re all crush-talked out for today, so feel free to say no,” Raine leans against the door.  “But could you maybe help me ask Eda out to the winter formal?”

Lilith sips her juice.  “Could we just sit for a little bit?  Between student council and this fun new epiphany about my sexuality, it has been a long day.”  She sits back down, pressing her back up against the cool gray concrete.  Raine joins her silently.

They sit quietly for a while, Lilith working away at her apple juice and Raine just staring at the wall opposite them, lost in thought.  This is nice, Lilith thinks.  She’s never had a friend of her own before- not really.  Eda didn’t count, since they had to be friends.  They were sisters.  Most of her “friends” were just people in the student council or people Eda hung out with.  Eda’s friends were always high-energy and itching to get into some sort of trouble, but not Raine.  At least, not right now.  Lilith didn’t really understand romantic attraction, she was learning that, but it sort of made sense that Eda liked them so much.

“It’s called aromantic.” Raine’s voice draws her from her reverie.  “Not getting crushes.  One of my friends from my old school was like that.”

“Oh,” was all Lilith said.

“The flag’s pretty badass, too,” Raine continues.  “Green and black.  And white.”

The bell rings and both of them flinch at the sudden loud noise.

Lilith rises to her feet and crumples up her empty juice box.  “I have to go.  Um… thanks.  Raine.”

They smile.  “Any time.  Hey, me and Eda are going to get milkshakes after school today.  Do you wanna come?”

“You want me to drive you.”

“Yes.”

Lilith snorts. “Ok. sure.”  She unlocks the heavy wooden door and yanks it open.  “I have a study hall next, so… I think I’m gonna talk to Adrianna.”

Raine nods, exiting into the hall and readjusting the straps of their backpack.  “Good luck!”  They turn and disappear down the hall to their next class.

Lilith takes a deep, shaky breath: in, out.  She pulls out her phone and clicks on Adrianna’s profile picture.

You have study hall now, right?  I want to talk.

[aprincessnotaqueen]

Get to know me (Take Two)

Thank you for the tag @the-type-a 💕

Are you named after anyone?: The story I was told was I was six weeks old and still no name, but my mam was watching a breakfast news show thing and on came a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes and her name was Chloe. So yes, I am named after a random child on TV.

When was the last time you cried?: Tuesday. I cry every Tuesday in work apparently.

Do you have kids?: I do not and I want not. I like being the fun person in kids lives, who takes them to the park or the arcade and buys them Mcdonalds and sweets etc But I love being able to hand them back at the end of the day.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?: I’m gonna say yes, not really intentionally it’s just ingrained in me.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?: If it’s just someone in passing then usually their outfit. If it’s someone new I’m meeting then usually how they talk, tone and words they use.

What’s your eye color?: Blue!

Scary movies or happy endings?: Happy endings all the way! I don’t like horror.

Any special talents?: My job involves using UK postcodes a lot, so I’ve subconsciously memorized areas. Everyone I work with knows if they give me a postcode I will know exactly where it is, what the nearest town/city is etc, it’s a useless talent 😂

Where were you born?: I am from Swansea, which is a city in South Wales, UK.

What are your hobbies?: I’d love to say reading and writing but I’m very bad at finding time and energy to do both 😂

Have any pets?: I’ve always had multiple pets but I am currently down to one, my very old cat Gizzy 🥰

What sports do you play/have played?: I have tried a lot of sports in my life but I never liked any. Football, rugby, rounders, cricket, basketball, netball, gymnastics, dance, swimming, cycling, ice skating, running, martial arts. My parents made me try everything I could.

How tall are you?: 5ft 7, I wish I was shorter

Favorite subject in school?: I loved Drama, getting to act was so much fun. And English, but I think it was just because I liked creative writing and had a really cool teacher. 

Dream job?: My dream is to not need to work but I don’t think I’ll ever get there. My last dream job was working on a cruise ship, probably in some kind of customer service role. I don’t really know what I have a feel for right now.

Thanks so much!

Tagging: @lotsofloveish @xwhatababex @toobadchadlytime