#amelia shepard x you

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Greys and Station Masterlist

Greys Anatomy: Arizona Robbins

Callie Torres

Amelia Shepherd

Mark Sloan

Jackson Avery

Station 19: Maya Bishop Andy Herrera

[gloomwitchwrites]

Tattoo Artist Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female Reader

Chapter Specific Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): canon-typical cursing, heavy suggestive themes, non-descriptive intimacy, domestic/soft/playful Simon, flirting, kissing, canon-typical mentions of violence, military-based discussions, brief trauma reflection

Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: Part Twelve of Ink & Needle

You and Simon spend the morning in bed together. Amelia and Evie corner Simon in the kitchen. Price, Soap, and Gaz finally talk to Simon about the mission.

Chapter Eleven // Chapter Thirteen

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // ink & needle masterlist

Tea.

Eggs—large, at least two dozen.

Bread.

Bulk butter.

Milk—full fat.

Flour.

Batteries.

Postal stamps.

Chi—

The electric kettle shuts off and Simon sets into routine, brewing his morning tea without a second thought. The hour is early, and the sun hardly breaks the horizon. Simon’s flat is almost completely dark except for the faintest bits of light that creeps in as the sun’s rays skim over the tops of nearby buildings.

Simon disposes of the tea bag and holds the steaming mug in both hands. Yes, it’s hot, but the warmth is comforting. It grounds him. Keeps his resolve from snapping and returning to a different warmth.

He starts over, listing all the things he’s growing low on.

Tea. Eggs. Bread.

You’re in his flat. In his bedroom. In his bed.

Naked. Flour. Asleep. Batteries.

Soft. Postage stamps. Bare beneath the sheets. Still slick between the thighs.

Fuck.

Simon pinches the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes, and inhales deeply. He needs to get a fucking grip. Every instinct within him commands Simon to go crawl into bed, to wake you up, and to slide between your legs. To greet the day with you beneath him.

That can’t happen.

Not because Simon doesn’t want to but because he wants to do this right. You deserve more than a dirty couch in a club’s green room. You deserve more than a quick moment of passion. You deserve patience and attention, to have someone focus on you and only you.

You may already be his, but not entirely. Not completely.

Not yet.

But, when Simon makes it happen, when the two of you finally bind this into something solid and real, you’ll never want to him leave. Simon will make sure of it.

Lingering in the kitchen, Simon drinks his tea, allowing the vestiges of sleep to seep out of his muscles and bones. His fucking jaw hurts, but that hardly matters to him. Not after what he did last night, or how you bloomed like a flower.

Spread wide. Perfect. Open.

Just for him.

Only for him.

Bravo nudges Simon’s thigh with the tip of his wet nose. Absently, Simon reaches down and scratches between the dog’s ears. The German Shepard leans into it, his eyes closing slightly with contentment.

Sighing, Simon pats the top of Bravo’s head. Sauntering toward the bedroom door, Simon leans against the frame, arms crossed, one hand clutching his tea mug. He watches you snooze for a few minutes. Most of you is covered by the bedding, but Simon glimpses just a hint of bare arm and shoulder. You’re completely submerged under there, and if Simon listens hard enough, he can hear a gentle snore.

To him, it’s cute. You might not find it so.

Simon rubs the back of his neck as Bravo pads into the room, gently jumping up into the bed. He doesn’t disturb you. Instead, the black-furred dog circles three times before settling.

You’ll wake eventually and Simon isn’t wearing his mask.

Simon hasn’t put it on since he took it off last night. There, in the dark, he removed it, only wanting to taste you. Simon isn’t ashamed of his face or his scars. He doesn’t consider himself ugly. It’s just…habit to put the mask on. He was Ghost in the field. Now, he’s Ghost in his shop.

Mysterious. Different. Detached.

He was Ghost when he met you at Riot Room, and now he’s Simon. Just…Simon.

Running his tongue over his teeth, Simon turns around and heads back into the kitchen. While Simon is a tea drinker, he keeps coffee on hand. Simon isn’t one for smashing energy drinks or soda even though his sweet tooth can be a fucking fiend, but sometimes he needs an extra kick.

Taking his time, Simon measures out and drops the ground coffee into the filter. From there, he closes the machine lid, filling the carafe, turning the ancient machine on. It hums and it’s almost too loud. A little green light comes on, and Simon steps away, checking the fridge. There are still a few eggs and bacon. Flour is low but he might be able to scrape up enough to whip up pancakes.

His stomach growls softly and Simon shuts the fridge.

Back in the bedroom, you still snooze softly, and Simon takes this time to clean up. He can still taste you on him, but it is faint, nearly a foreign sensation. Grabbing a towel, Simon hops into the shower. He scrubs down, brushes his teeth, even dries his hair.

Simon tugs on the balaclava, wearing nothing else except black boxer briefs. Stepping back into the bedroom, Simon pauses, noticing tussled hair and sleepy eyes.

“Morning,” says Simon.

You stretch, the grey sheet covering your breasts slipping a bit, nearly revealing nipple. You catch it just in time, stifling a yawn.

“Good morning,” you reply, the raspiness of sleep still clinging to your vocal cords.

Bravo rolls over onto his side, oblivious to the two of you.

“Shower’s available.” Simon gestures with a shrug of his shoulder in the direction of the bathroom.

Your gaze follows and then promptly returns to Simon. At first, your face is blank, and then, slowly, it drifts into a sultry mischievousness that sends blood straight to his groin. Any more of this and Simon will come undone.

“I don’t want to shower,” you murmur, some of the bedding slipping from your fingers. It’s dangerously close to revealing all of you. Last night you were bare for him, but the two of you were in the dark, and Simon only saw pieces of you. It wasn’t nearly enough, and now it’s almost too much.

The thought of your naked body within reach, wanting him, saying so with words alone is enough to start to crack at his resolve.

Fuck. Fucking hell.

“What do you want?” Simon almost doesn’t recognize himself. What comes out of him is a needy groan.

The slow blink before your response sends signals to his feet to start moving. “I want you to come to bed,” you reply.

Simon stops right at the edge of the bed, every muscle in his body coiled with tension. All he has to do is tug and the bedding will fall away.

“And do what?” prompts Simon, the restraint within him oozing off him to slip between the cracks in the wood floor.

Bravo’s ears perk up and then his head. He glances between the two of you and immediately slinks out of the bed, hurrying away. Simon listens for the dog door and then places one knee on the edge of the bed. Some of his joints resist the movement, those old wounds making themselves known. But Simon ignores them all, his full attention fixed on the woman asking him to join her.

“Whatever you want, Simon.”

Whatever he wants? There are so many things he wants. Simon wants to make you his, to keep you here, to never let you go. None of those are options right now. No. Not yet. But he can still play.

Simon’s fingers curl around the topmost sheet. He tugs, ripping them out of your grasp and away from your body. You immediately cover yourself, legs crossing in front of you and your arms resting across your chest.

The moment the bedding is out of his way, Simon wraps his fingers around your left ankle to drag you closer.

“Simon!” you gasp, but it is all teasing.

“Come here,” he growls, using the natural weight of his body to propel him fully onto the bed and push you down on your back. Your arms and legs fall away then, opening for him, and Simon slots himself between, his mouth already seeking yours.

Simon kisses and touches until your soft giggles become moans. His mouth seeks lower ground. Lower still, and then those moans become shaky and limp legs with gasping breath. You reach for him, and Simon leans into your touch, allowing you to stroke and caress until his haughty, smug smile becomes something else entirely.

With his balaclava-covered face pressed against your neck, Simon inhales, wrapping his large arms around you. He helps your limp-limbed form slide out of bed, and somehow guides you into the shower. While you’re scrubbing away at your skin and scalp, Simon is in the kitchen, managing to prepare breakfast with the little he has.

It’s Sunday, and Simon has absolutely fucking nothing to do. It’s always been Dancing Faun, drinks, and then finding someone on his roster to have it off with. But Simon doesn’t need to do that. He doesn’t need anyone or anything but you. If you want it, he’ll spend his entire Sunday in your presence, partaking in whatever it is you’re interested in doing.

When you emerge wearing nothing but one of his shirts, Simon has to squash the urge to bend you over the table.

“Breakfast,” rasps Simon, grabbing a plate to distract himself.

“Please,” you sigh, approaching him and placing a hand on his lower back.

“Little of everything?”

You nod, giving Simon’s shoulder a quick kiss before walking over to the dining table. Simon’s body vibrates with happiness. He overloads your plate and his, bringing the coffee and a newly made kettle to the table.

“Plans for the day?”

You shake your head, yawning. “No. But I do need to check on Evie.”

Simon checks the time on his phone. It’s nearly the afternoon. “After breakfast I’ll walk you.”

When you go to change back into your clothes, Simon is handsy, grabbing at bare thigh and waist just because he can. You giggle through the whole thing, the two of you ending up on the floor with your limbs intertwined and your mouths meeting.

It takes forever for the two of you to make it out the door. The walk is short but slow. Simon drags it out, keeping you close to his body as the cool autumn air kicks up. His hand delves, teasing, keeping you playful the whole walk to Amelia’s.

You’re still fumbling with the key to the front door when Evie yanks it open. Simon promptly hides the view of his hand under your sweater. Simon isn’t fast enough because Evie’s grin is downright feral.

“Good afternoon.” She pointedly emphasizes “afternoon” by glancing in Simon’s direction. Her dark hair is piled up on the top of her head in a messy bun, and the robe she’s wearing is untied, revealing pink pajamas and a massive belly.

“Sorry, Evie,” you laugh, awkwardly shifting away from Simon to dislodge his hand.

Still glancing at Simon, Evie snags your upper arm, hauling you inside. Simon steps in after you. Bravo shoves his way in, navigating the cramped entry space and aiming for the kitchen. The German Shepard rounds a corner, and Simon hears Amelia greet the dog.

“Go change,” urges Evie, shoving you toward the stairs. “Take a shower too.”

“I did,” you snap with a laugh.

“Take another one. I can smell you.”

You flip Evie the bird and she gives one right back. Glancing over your shoulder at Simon, he gives you the slightest of shrugs. He doesn’t want to be left alone with Evie and Amelia, but he’ll deal with it.

The moment you disappear to the top level, Evie is turning that feral grin on Simon, her hands on her hips. Amelia appears like a phantom in the doorway where the entryway and living room meet.

“Made tea,” says Amelia. She’s wearing her gardening clothes. There are dirty patches on the knees.

“No thank you,” replies Simon.

“You’re having tea.” One of Amelia’s eyebrows arches like she’s begging him to question her.

Simon nods instead of refusing again.

Right. He’s having tea.

In the kitchen, Bravo is munching away on a small pile of dog treats. Simon sighs, watching the German Shepard happily chew them up one by one. He takes a seat at the table, the two women joining him.

At the center of the table are chicken salad sandwiches on plain white bread, an open bag of crips, and a bowl of mixed fruit. Evie starts piling her plate while Amelia distributes the tea.

“Hungry?” Amelia asks Simon, offering him a plate.

He’s fucking full from breakfast, but he’s not refusing this like he did with the tea. “Yes, thank you.”

Amelia plops a sandwich on Simon’s plate, scoops out a heaping portion of fruit, and shakes a mountain of crips out.

“Weather is expected to cool off in the next few weeks.” Amelia shrugs. “That’s what the forecaster says anyway.”

Evie places her hand on her belly. “Hopefully she’ll be out by then.”

Simon glances at the spot where Evie’s hand rests. “You’re due soon?”

“Yes. Very soon. Due date is technically a week out but could happen any day.”

Simon nods, his tattooed fingers playing with the handle of the tea mug. He stares at the pile of food in front of him and frowns. Simon is so absorbed with his own thoughts, that it takes him a few moments to recognize the absolute silence.

He glances up only to find Amelia and Evie leaning back in their chairs, bemused expressions on their faces as they observe him.

“What?” he blurts, suddenly nervous.

Amelia and Evie exchange a look.

“You remember our conversation?” asks Amelia softly.

Simon crosses his arm, shifting in his seat. His phone digs into his thigh and he adjusts again. “I do,” he replies slowly.

Amelia nods. She glances down at Simon’s plate. “Haven’t touched your food. Something wrong?”

Fuck.

Simon pushes up the balaclava enough to shove a few crisps into his mouth. They’re cheese and onion flavored. It’s the wrong choice. The only sound in the room are the crunching crisps in Simon’s mouth. Amelia and Evie still stare at him.

He swallows, the half-chewed food nearly sticking in his throat. Simon hastily drinks his tea.

“How’s business?” asks Amelia once Simon sets the tea back onto the table.

“Busy.”

“I would hope so. Saw you on the cover of a magazine while shopping. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” says Simon, bit of heat warming the tops of his cheeks.

Evie’s eyes widen slightly. “That’s wonderful. What magazine?”

“UK Ink,” he answers. “Best tattoo artist.”

“Very deserved,” says Amelia, lifting her tea.

“You’ve never been in my shop,” chuckles Simon.

Amelia shrugs. “But I see you almost every Sunday, and Ben is always bragging about you.”

Simon shifts again in his chair from embarrassment. His phone digs into his ass this time. Frowning, Simon removes it from his pocket and places it on the table facedown.

“You’re being polite,” says Simon, attempting to push the praise off him.

Evie chews quietly, her gaze darting between Amelia and Simon. Over her shoulder, Simon glimpses a series of photographs. One of them is a wedding photo, a recent one. The woman he recognizes as Evie, and the man she leans against must be her dead husband.

Simon’s phone buzzes, but he ignores it. He really needs you to finish showering and changing your clothes. The phone ceases and Simon goes for some fruit this time.

Amelia opens her mouth to reply but Simon’s phone kicks up again. She promptly shuts her mouth and glances at the device.

“They’ll leave a message,” says Simon dismissively. Sometimes business calls are rerouted to his personal phone. During the week, it’s not an issue, but on a day like today, it’s annoying.

Amelia inclines her head, but Simon’s fucking phone won’t stop. It starts buzzing again.

“You should answer that.” Amelia nods toward it.

Simon stares down at the phone, all the food in his stomach suddenly solidifying. There are only a few people who would relentlessly call Simon like this. The cellphone stops, begins again, and Simon’s frown deepens.

He picks it up, turning the screen over to face him.

Price.

Fuck.

Simon lets it go to voicemail.

When the buzzing begins again, Amelia tuts. “Answer it or I’m chucking it into the garden.”

“Excuse me,” murmurs Simon, pushing his chair back and standing, heading for the living room. When Simon nears the entryway, he answers the phone, bringing it up to his ear.

“Price,” he says flatly.

“Simon.” Price’s greeting is polite but reserved. “Were you sleeping?”

“No.”

Price grunts on the other end. “Have you handled your business?”

He means you. Last night floods into Simon’s mind, bringing up Adam and the whole fucking mess of an evening.

“Yes,” answers Simon, though he hears the slight shake in the way he says it.

“Is tonight good?”

Simon silently swears. He wants to spend the day with you, not talk to the boys about their upcoming mission. But Simon made a promise to them, and he intends to see it through.

Simon licks his lips and sighs. “Meet me outside the shop.”

Price rattles off a time and Simon agrees, knowing that he won’t have much time with you between now and then.

Simon ends the call right as you come down the stairs. You’re already moving toward him and Simon instantly reaches out, seeking you. When your hand slides into his, Simon pulls you close. Placing your other hand on his chest, Simon leans down and seeks your lips for a kiss.

“You taste like onion,” you murmur.

Simon chuckles before drawing back a bit. “Amelia fed me.”

“She tends to do that.”

He adjusts his grip, drawing you into his side so Simon can wrap his arm around your waist. Over your shoulder, he notices Amelia and Evie dangerously leaning around the corner in the chairs, trying to watch from a distance. Even Bravo is poking his head around the corner.

“I have to go,” murmurs Simon, brushing a few damp strands from your face to tuck behind your ear.

Your smile faulters slightly and Simon immediately regrets saying anything at all.

“Right now?” you ask.

Simon shakes his head. “Not right now. In an hour.”

“Did something happen?”

No. Yes. Maybe? Simon has no clue what the boys want to talk to him about. They’ve never been shy about asking him for advice or looking something over for them. But rarely have they ever asked to come in person to discuss something confidential.

“You remember the men who escorted Adam out the pub last night?”

The middle of your brow scrunches. “Yes?”

“Our evening was…interrupted. Just need to finishing up with them.”

“I see.” You glance down and then back to Simon’s face. “My fault?”

“No,” he says, drawing you closer against him. “Don’t think that.” Simon kisses you for good measure. “Can we make plans for later this week?”

Your fingers tangle with the fabric of his shirt. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” Simon checks over your head to find Amelia and Evie still watching from their chairs. “They’re nosy, aren’t they?”

You laugh. “Wouldn’t you be?”

Simon inclines his head, knowing that’s true. “Come on,” he murmurs. “Need some help finishing the plate Amelia made me.”

In front of Simon is an empty whiskey glass.

It’s the first one, and Simon expects to have plenty more as the evening progresses. Ben, the owner of Dancing Faun strides over, removing the glass and placing down a fresh one.

“Might need this,” he says, the deep timbre of his voice like thunder. Ben places a half-full whiskey bottle down next to Simon’s glass.

Simon nods in thanks as Ben turns his back and disappears behind the bar.

This isn’t the evening for beer. Simon needs something strong if the three grim faces staring back at him are any indication. Johnny has a Scotch, Price has whiskey like Simon, and Gaz has tequila.

All hard edges here. Nothing soft.

Ben closed up Dancing Faun early to give them some space and privacy. The sun isn’t down yet but the light hardly makes it into the front window. The four of them sit around a square table, one to each side. Inside the pub, the lights above the bar and the one directly above their table are on.

Simon’s gaze darts to each of the men he knows as brothers. Price, who is always tired and complaining of heartburn, appears exhausted like he’s been awake for days. Gaz is subdued, his mouth turned downward into a slight frown. Johnny, who is always upbeat, is quiet and calm.

It’s fucking weird seeing them like this. It doesn’t sit right with Simon. Whatever is on their minds is eating away at them. Either something is completely fucked, or he’s about to hear something unpleasant.

Ben stays behind the bar cleaning glassware, taking inventory, and occasionally disappearing into the back. The man is discreet when he needs to be, and if he overhears anything, Ben won’t snitch or turn around to spread it to others.

Simon isn’t worried about that, but he is worried about Price, Gaz, and Soap.

“Why the long faces?” asks Simon, attempting to joke but failing completely.

Price sighs heavily. “He’s back, Simon.”

It’s such a vague way of putting it. He could mean anyone. Task Force 141 made plenty of enemies while Simon was part of it. Hell—Simon made plenty of enemies just from working in SAS. He’s executed so many missions they’re almost a blur to him.

“Who?” prompts Simon. “Makarov?”

That would be a fucking joke if that wanker got out. Simon would certainly need to be on alert but not overly concerned. It’s not like Simon is in the way anymore.

Price shakes his head while Johnny and Kyle exchange a look. “Makarov is still in prison. Securely. Last time I checked.”

“And when was that?”

“A week ago,” replies Price.

“A week is a long time.”

“It’s not Makarov,” interjects Kyle, his fingers tapping the side of his glass.

Simon glances in Kyle’s direction. The frown is still there but his eyes tell him enough. It’s a sad sort of pleading. An apology but not because Gaz has done anything wrong. Simon has seen this look before.

Pity. It’s pity that Simon sees in Kyle’s gaze.

Price clears his throat, shoots his whiskey back, and then pours himself another from the bottle Ben set down on the table. “Kyle is right. It’s not Makarov, Simon.” Price lifts his glass and stares into the amber liquid. “When I say he’s back, I mean him.”

Simon’s stomach is toxic slime. It bubbles there, brewing, waiting to eat away at flesh and bone and blood.

Him. Him.

From the nightmares. From the scars. From the wounds that never healed properly.

No. No no no. Fucking no.

“You’re lying,” growls Simon, his hands forming fists under the table.

“Simon—”

Simon slams his fist against the tabletop. Everything rattles. “He’s fucking dead, Price.” Simon points at himself. “I put a knife in his chest. Watched him fall.” He gestures to everyone at the table with a sweep of his hand. “We all saw his burnt corpse.”

Johnny is the one to speak, not Price. “A corpse so burnt it couldn’t be identified.”

There is pity in Johnny’s gaze too, and Simon fucking hates it. He hates how they’re all looking at him right now. If he’s back, that means all the therapy, retirement, and all the pain is absolutely bloody pointless.

Nothing. Just air. Dead confetti wasting away on concrete.

“I didn’t earn these injuries or have retirement shoved on me just for you to come back here and tell me he still lives.” Simon’s tone is cold. Broken.

Price sighs again, crossing his arms and resting them on the edge of the table. “You think I wanted to come and tell you this, Simon?” Simon removes his fist from the table, dropping it into his lap. “I didn’t want to say anything at all. But I’m out of options. And things are going to shit fast.”

Simon understands. He doesn’t need to ask because he knows why Price, Soap, and Gaz have all come. This man they’re hunting, the one that Simon believed he killed, the one who gave Simon the burn scars along his upper arms, back, and shoulders, is walking around somewhere, returning to what he does best.

“You were the one who got close to him. You know him better than any of us,” continues Price. “And we need your help.”

Simon does know him better than they do. He got close enough to get into his head.

Kit Walsh.

Simple, isn’t it. Unsuspecting.

Evil people aren’t born with evil names.

Kit Walsh who grew up in Manchester just like Simon. Attended school there and even lived in a nearby neighborhood from the one Simon grew up in.

Kit Walsh who radicalized himself by talking to likeminded individuals in private chatrooms on the internet.

Kit Walsh who, as he got older, decided he wanted the rest of the world to look and think just like him.

Evil people always start somewhere, and sometimes they’re not rooted out until it’s far too late for everyone else.

Simon flexes his fingers, stretching the joints before forming a fist again. “Help how?”

“You don’t have to do this, Simon.”

Slamming back his whiskey, Simon reaches across the table to snag the whiskey bottle.

The worst kind of evil is always domestic. It always starts at home.

Of course, Simon has to help. The whole reason they got as close as they did was from the work Simon put in during his time with SAS.

“Where is he, Price?”

Price sucks his teeth and then rubs his temple. “It’s complicated. Messy.”

“Then explain.”

Reaching into his coat pocket, Price removes a stack of photos. Sorting through them, Price removes two, tossing them across the table toward Simon. Picking them up, Simon examines them. Both photos are of Walsh in a mega church. He’s posing with men in nicely tailored suits, but it’s not like Simon knows who these men are. Walsh, Simon recognizes, but he’s changed his hair and put on a few pounds.

“Those were taken a week ago in Texas.”

Simon glances up from the photos. “He’s in the States?” Price opens his mouth but Simon laughs. It’s short and clipped, but high. “You’ve fucking lost him.”

Price frowns but Simon continues. “Last time he bounced between here and the Continent. If he’s gone to America, you won’t fucking find him.”

“Laswell already knows.”

“I’m sure she does.”

Kyle leans forward. “Are you hearing what they’re saying over there? The idiotic shit coming out of people’s mouths?”

“They say shit like that here, Gaz,” snaps Simon, anger lacing his tone. “They say it in Germany. In France. In Russia. Everywhere. It’s just wearing different faces for the same thing.”

Kyle’s frown deepens and his stare could slice glass. Simon immediately swallows down some of that irritation. His anger isn’t with any of them. It’s the fact that everything Simon went through meant nothing. All these scars now covered up by ink are just reminders of his failure.

“You know how he works, Simon. Everything we have on him we have because of you. I know it’ll be difficult now that he’s jumped the ocean, but I’m desperate, Simon. Give me anything.”

Simon stares down at the tabletop. The dark wood stares back. His priorities have changed during retirement. He’s no longer active military. He doesn’t have to help them at all. Simon has his shop, his new career, and Bravo.

Now, there is an addition to the mix. You. You are a priority now.

“He’s killed someone. Or had someone do it for him.”

Simon glances up from the table to stare into Price’s stern expression. “Walsh has killed a lot of people. Directly and indirectly.”

“Someone important,” interrupts Johnny, swirling his Scotch around in his glass.

“Someone important to certain people,” amends Price.

Simon adjusts in his seat, the chair suddenly becoming uncomfortable. “Who?”

Price fans out the pictures in front of him. A few seconds pass and then Price selects several, slowly pushing them across the table.

“Archibald Williams,” begins Price. “Also lovingly referred to as ‘Archie’ by friends and family.” The face staring back at him is a face he knows. He saw it just this morning in a wedding photo behind Evie’s left shoulder.

Simon’s tattooed fingers slip under the photograph, bringing it closer to him. There is zero doubt in Simon’s mind that this is the same man.

Price taps one finger against the table before selecting another photo and setting it closer to Simon. “On his great grandfather’s side, our boy here has a bit of Windsor in him.”

Simon’s head snaps up. “You’re bloody joking.”

Price shrugs. “Distant relation. At least a hundred would have to die before he’d even be considered for the throne.”

“Fucking hell,” mutters Simon, organizing the photos so he can see them all at once.

One is a photo of him with his football mates, all of them sweaty and smiling and dirty. Another is a massive family portrait. It’s the kind that the Royal Family or any aristocratic family enjoy taking with the immediate and extended family. Simon locates Archie amongst what seems like a hundred faces. Next to Archie is Adam, and Simon immediately frowns.

Moving those to the side, Simon picks up the next photograph. In this one, Archie poses next to three well-dressed young men. They’re all lined up in a row with Archie on one end and a stranger on the other. The two in the middle are no strangers. They’re much younger in this photo but the heir to the Throne and his brother are faces any Brit should know.

“You can see why it’s messy,” says Price after Simon sets the last photo down.

“Shambles,” mumbles Gaz before tossing back his tequila.

Johnny grunts but says nothing. Simon glances at him briefly but returns his attention to Price.

“Why him?”

Price leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “Rumor is that Archie here planned on relinquishing his titles. Running for public office. Wanted to make a difference.”

“That’s enough to kill him?” probes Simon, knowing there has to be more.

“Having political opinions is frowned upon for people like him. He’s supposed to stay neutral. Not take sides. He was being vocal. Donated tons of his wealth to different charities. Made lots of people uncomfortable.”

“Like Walsh?” Simon shakes his head. “That’s not like him. He prefers the long game. He’s not like Makarov. Makarov will look you in the face. Walsh will hide behind a wall of politicians.”

“I know,” says Price sadly. He rubs his temple again, sighing. “Williams left a wife behind.”

I know, Price. Sat at the table with her just this afternoon.

Simon says nothing. There is no reason to involve Evie or you in this. Price is only asking for advice. He needs some input into a vastly complicated situation.

“You looking for her?”

Price shakes his head. “No. Hadn’t been married long. Sad, is all.”

“It is,” agrees Simon.

“So, you’ll help us?” asks Johnny, drawing Simon’s attention away from Price. “Take a look at the files?”

At Johnny’s question, Price presents Simon with a small stack of file folders.

They’re just asking him to look. They’re just asking him for some advice.

That’s it.

That’s all.

Price holds them out and Simon reaches forward.

taglist:

@glassgulls @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @spicyspicyliving @childofyuggoth @lialacleaf @theshrikeandcanary @coffeecaketornado @wren5650 @aykxz98 @kayden666 @36namey @creamwhxre @pearljamislife @miss-mistinguett @keiva1000 @cherryofdeath @pertinentpostmortem @enfppuff @cinnabeanz @berarenado @rogerrhqpsody @c0pernicus @josephquinnschesthair @corvusmorte @saoirse06 @therealbloom @ninman82 @no-oneelsebutnsu @marispunk @thewulf @knight4xmas @jupiternighties @darling006 @hayleybarnesx @lxblm @ferns-fics @ooldcardigan @carma-fanficaddict @beebeechaos @enarien @xxkay15xx @sw33tsnow @kessi-21 @makayla-666 @lifes-project @burn1ngw00d @mudisgranapat @heeheehoohoohahahihi @i-feel-violated

[upat4amwiththemoon]

hi! saw that your requests are open and if you want to could you write a fic with amelia shepard x reader. kind of a mental health fic where reader is struggling (depression or something) and either amelia and reader are a couple or reader is someone coming into the ER (or something else) but either way amelia decides to help R and eventually they become a couple (if they’re not already). i hope you understand what i mean?

anyway, thank you!

i’ll die anyway.

Summary: It’s still hard to find reasons to stay alive.

Pairing: Amelia Shepherd x female!reader

Warnings: depression

Word count: 824

a/n: Amelia Shepherd please cure my mental illnesses <3

masterlists | guidelines

Even though Amelia is oftentimes busy with her work, being the self proclaimed best neurosurgeon, she still makes time for her girlfriend, who unlike her, doesn’t have such a mess of a schedule. However, she just came to the realization that date nights haven’t happened in a while. She really hasn’t properly seen Y/N in a while.

Which is why, after arriving back home, Amelia’s first mission is to find Y/N. She goes up the stairs, towards their shared bedroom, still wearing her scrubs. She frowns as she steps into the room. No one is there. It’s dark and the bed is messy, which indicates Y/N has been there recently.

The sound of water hits her ears. Amelia knocks on the door opposite of their bedroom, trying to open it, but it’s mocked. “Y/N?” She calls out, growing worried at the silence coming from the other side. “Are you okay in there?” There’s slight humor to her voice, but it’s only there to mask her anxiety.

A quiet yeah comes from the other side of the door, but it doesn’t ease Amelia.

“You think you could open the door for me?” It takes a while, but eventually Amelia can hear the soft clink of the lock. She opens the door carefully, only peeking her head in first. When she sees fully clothes Y/N sitting under the running shower, she steps in the room fully, closing the door behind her so the warmth of the water wouldn’t escape. “What are you doing?” She has a gentle smile on her face as she kneels near Y/N. She recognizes the look in her eyes.

“I think I’m getting sick.” She whispers. Water droplets are getting all over her eyes and mouth, but she doesn’t seem to care.

“Sick?” Amelia shuts the shower off, getting no reaction from Y/N. She sets the back of her hand to her girlfriend’s wet forehead. “You don’t feel warm.” She states quietly.

Y/N hums. Her hands are hidden in the sleeves of the hoodie she’s wearing. It’s oversized, one of her favorites, mostly because it’s technically Amelia’s hoodie. Her eyes are unfocused, so she rarely blinks, only when water slides over her eyes.

“Maybe getting out of the wet clothes would help?” Amelia’s tone makes the sentence sound like a question, but it’s more of a request, as she is already helping Y/N up before she has a chance to answer. She leads her into the bedroom, not caring about the trail of water dripping to the floors. “I’m going to get you some clothes, okay?”

Amelia starts looking through their wardrobe, picking the coziest looking clothes for the both of them. She helps Y/N out of the wet clothes and into the clean ones before she changes out of her scrubs.

“Have you eaten today?” She’s pretty sure she already knows the answer, and it worries her, since she had a ten hour shift today. Y/N shakes her head, confirming Amelia’s fears. “Okay, I’m going to order us some food.”

After leading Y/N to the bed, she picks up her phone and orders the food that’ll arrive to their house the quickest. She sets her phone back down, making sure it’s not silenced so she’ll hear when their food arrives.

She sits down next to Y/N, leaning her bad against the backboard, she pulls Y/N’s back into her chest. “Can you tell me how you’re feeling?” Amelia pulls the covers over them before wrapping her arms around Y/N.

She sighs, slowly leaning the side of her head against Amelia’s. “I don’t know.” She whispers, her voice slightly wobbly. “I don’t feel anything but I’m feeling everything at the same time. It’s like I’m stuck in a hole and I can’t scream for help.” Taking a shaky breath, her voice turns almost too quiet for Amelia to hear, “it feels like it doesn’t matter if I’m dead or alive.”

“Maybe we could go meet up with a psychotherapist together tomorrow?”

Y/N hesitates. Asking for, or receiving help has never been something she can do easily. “I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.”

“But it is.” Amelia states in a way that leaves no room for arguments. “Mental health needs to be always taken seriously.”

Emotions mull through Y/N’s body. She feels guilty and bad for letting Amelia see, for making her worry, that’s not what she wants. She feels like going to psychotherapy would mame it worse, it’d solidify the fact there’s something wrong with her.

Amelia’s embrace turns tighter, bringing Y/N back to the present. Her hands have started shaking, she didn’t notice. “You don’t have to decide now.” Amelia whispers into her ear. “We’ll think and talk about later, okay?” Y/N nods, letting herself relax for now as she lays on her girlfriend, and tries to forget her worries.

[justabigassnerd]

Birthday Celebrations

Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x daughter!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Word count - 2,100

Warnings - allusion to death, mostly fluff

Summary - you celebrate your birthday with your dad's and the Daggers

A/N - happy one year of Hangman Junior everyone! I couldn't let such an important date slip by unnoticed, I know I haven't given Hangman Junior some love in a while I'm still struggling with motivation for the universe but I figured I owed y'all this, especially given how important the universe is to me. the first part of Hangman Junior was posted on 7th January last year and I know that technically it's not the 7th everywhere just yet but it's the 7th here in England and I've deprived you guys of fics long enough. Anyways, I won't ramble anymore, as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

In the days leading up to your birthday, Jake and Bradley had been working hard to organise a party for you to celebrate your seventeenth birthday. They had managed to talk Penny into letting them use the Hard Deck for the evening, not that she needed much convincing since Penny was more than happy to let her bar be used for such an occasion. Then the second the Daggers got involved, the planning went so much quicker. Natasha helped Jake and Bradley oversee all the planning while the other Daggers were responsible for getting certain things for the party. Then, before the party, the Daggers, along with Maverick, Penny, and Amelia, were responsible for making sure the Hard Deck was decorated and ready for you and your dad’s arrival at the party.

“Dad, where are we going?” You question as you get into the backseat of the Bronco, harnessing Moose in the car seat next to you and glancing between your dad and Bradley as they exchange a look before looking back at you.

“We’re swinging by the Hard Deck really quick. I promised Mav I’d grab something he needed that Penny had. Besides, it’s on the way anyway so I figured I’d save myself two journeys.” Bradley lies easily, turning the key in the ignition and sparing another glance at Jake who smiles softly. Neither of them liked lying to you in any way but they knew the surprise would be worth it.

The journey to the Hard Deck was filled with music, singing, and laughter. When Bradley parked the Bronco outside the Hard Deck you were confused when both Bradley and Jake got out of the car and gestured for you to follow them.

“I thought you just needed to grab something for Mav? Why are we all going in?” You ask curiously as you open the door, calling out to Bradley and Jake who just continue to encourage you to follow them.

“Penny said she wanted to say Happy Birthday to you when I said we’d swing by on the way. Get Moose out too.” Bradley replies smoothly, grabbing Jake’s right hand with his left.

“Will Penny be okay with Moose coming in?” You ask, all too aware of the German Shepard excitedly pressing his nose into your back and lightly whining, indicating he wanted to get out of the car.

“When has she not been okay with him coming in?” Jake retorts with a smile as you roll your eyes, freeing Moose from his harness and putting his lead on before joining your dads. As you reach them, Bradley wraps his right arm around your shoulders to jostle you slightly before releasing you, and you all laugh just as you reach the door to the Hard Deck.

“SURPRISE!” You jump as the lights of the bar flick on and see the smiling faces of the Daggers. You glance at Jake and Bradley and notice them smiling down at you.

“So you don’t need to grab something for Mav then?” You ask, locking eyes with Maverick across the room and laughing softly as Bradley shakes his head with a smile.

“Happy birthday, my sweet girl.” Jake says softly, embracing you as you quickly hug back, both of you smiling. When Jake finally releases you from the hug with one last kiss to the top of the head, you move to Bradley’s embrace who also says ‘happy birthday’ and lands a kiss on the top of your head before he lets you go.

“Hey Hangman Junior! Get over here!” You turn to see Mickey calling over to you, hands cupped around his mouth to heighten the volume of his voice which in turn made Moose perk up at the sound of his favourite human’s voice. With a nod of approval from Jake and Bradley, you cross to the Daggers and are immediately tugged into a hug by Mickey.

“Mickey you literally saw me the other day.” You say with a laugh as Moose paws at Mickey’s leg, whining for attention.

“Yes, but it wasn’t your birthday the other day. Big difference.” Mickey replies as if it were the most obvious answer in the world, releasing you from the hug and crouching down to greet Moose whose tail swishes excitedly at the attention he’s receiving.

“I’m surprised you were able to keep this a secret from me.” You muse jokingly, smiling down at Mickey as he pets Moose.

“I only found out this morning and then Payback was basically babysitting me the whole time we were setting up to make sure I didn’t tell you.” Mickey replies, a faux-grumpy tone to his voice while he looks up at you and sends you a joking wink before returning his attention to Moose. You laugh at his words and look up to where Reuben is, who had clearly heard his backseater's words and rolled his eyes in jest. While Moose was occupying Mickey’s attention, you cross to Javy after locking eyes with him and his grin widens as you approach.

“Hey, Kit-Kat.” He says with a smile as he embraces you, his hold gentle and comforting.

“Hi, Uncle Javy.” You reply, your voice barely above a whisper as you hug him back.

“Happy birthday.” Javy says as he releases you, making you thank him quietly before being called over by the rest of the Daggers who trap you in hugs and wish you a happy birthday while Jake and Bradley go and join Maverick and Penny by the bar.

“So… seventeenth birthday… one year closer to eighteen.” Maverick mutters, getting a glare and a light slap from Penny while Jake and Bradley smile sadly.

“Yeah… she’ll be an adult before we know it.” Jake mumbles, trying his hardest to keep his sad tone from his voice as he watches you smiling and laughing with Bob but failing miserably as Bradley takes his hand, running his thumb over his knuckles in an attempt to comfort his husband.

“I can’t imagine she’d leave and never look back. She loves you guys too much to do that.” Penny offers softly, smiling at the two men who smile back gratefully.

“I could’ve sworn it was only yesterday that she was born.” Jake says softly, the memory of holding you for the first time etched into his memory like a carving in stone.

“It feels like it flies by, doesn’t it?” Penny agrees, able to relate with Jake as she reminisces about Amelia, eyes drifting over to her daughter who is laughing and smiling as you show off one of Moose’s new tricks while she pets Theo who is more than content to watch the younger dog show off.

“You’ve raised a good kid, Hangman.” Maverick says with a smile, clapping Jake on the shoulder as Jake lets out a small breathy laugh.

“I can’t take all the credit. I haven’t exactly been raising her alone. I’ve had everyone here by my side. I know I was an ass in the academy, and even more so when I was first training at Top Gun. But other than me and Javy, y/n had no one else and I couldn’t bear to leave her behind so I pretty much put myself over everyone I flew with. But now y/n has a family and people to look after her if something happens to me.” Jake says, the gentle smile never leaving his face as he watches you engaging with his teammates.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you, Jake. We’re all going to be there for her, and that includes you.” Bradley says softly yet firmly, pulling Jake’s hand closer, encapsulating Jake’s hand in both of his own and squeezing it gently. Jake tears his gaze away from you and locks eyes with his husband, softening at Bradley’s gaze and nodding lightly. Jake didn’t like thinking about not being in your life but sometimes his thoughts got their claws in and would drag him down into his ocean of depressing thoughts but he was grateful he had Bradley, his lifeboat among the dark thoughts, rescuing him and reminding him of the light that he had surrounding him in the form of his family and friends.

“Come on. Let’s get involved in our kids party.” Bradley then says, quickly leaning over to press a soft kiss to Jake’s lips before gently leading him over to the rest of the Daggers who are of course showering you with attention and affection. Moose was the first one to notice the two men approaching and made his way over to them, tail wagging madly as they both immediately reached down to pet him.

“Hey guys.” You greet your dads as they approach the group, seamlessly joining in with the conversations that are happening as they arrive.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Bradley greets you as Jake plants a kiss on the top of your head.

You spend the rest of the evening at the Hard Deck, eating copious amounts of food laid out on the table, singing some karaoke with the Daggers, as well as a usual sing-song to ‘Great Balls of Fire’ with Bradley accompanying on piano. You also opened some presents that the Daggers had bought for you, thanking each of them with hugs and appreciative words. Soon you all ended up outside the bar, on the beach playing fetch with Moose as he chased the ball happily before trotting back over to someone different and dropping the ball at their feet and waiting eagerly for the ball to be thrown once more.

Eventually, as it got later, people started to go home one by one after helping Penny tidy up the Hard Deck so she didn’t have to worry about it in the morning. You bid everyone goodbye with one last hug and a ‘thank you’ for taking the time out of their evening to set up a party for you before you head home yourself with Jake, Bradley, and Moose. When you get home, you head straight for your room to get changed into your pyjamas before heading back downstairs to watch one of your favourite movies with your dads as Moose lays splayed across all three of your laps and he makes sure to give the three of you his own version of kisses at random moments, making you all laugh as you gently push his head away.

By the time the movie ended, you were just about ready to collapse into bed and sleep as the exhaustion from the party and spending time with those closest to you set in. You trudged up the stairs with Moose hot on your heels, laughing to yourself as he began to nose the door open himself the moment you pushed the door handle down after you finished getting ready for bed, and trotted over to your bed and hopped on, curling up with a contented sigh.

“Moose in his normal spot?” Jake asks, appearing in your doorway amused as you nod your head, cross to the bed and pull back the duvet, starting to figure out a way to manoeuvre your way around Moose like a Tetris block.

“It’s Moose’s bed now. He’s very gracious in sharing it with me.” You joke, rubbing your dog's belly as he rolls onto his back, tail wagging against the sheets.

“What a generous pup.” Bradley teases as he joins Jake in the doorway, both men watching you slot into the bed alongside the German Shepard before crossing to your bedside.

“Did you have a good birthday?” Jake asks gently, smiling at you as you nod enthusiastically.

“The best. Thank you. Both of you. The party was amazing.” You thank both of them profusely as they shake their heads.

“Sweetheart, we wanted to do that for you. It’s the least you deserved. We both love you so much.” Jake then says, stooping down to press a kiss to the top of your head which is then followed by Bradley doing the same.

“I love you guys too.” You reply smiling up at them as they smile back. The two bid you one final happy birthday and goodnight before petting Moose and exiting your room, leaving you to go to bed. You switch your lamp off and lie back in your bed, curling around Moose who nuzzles his head into your stomach.

“Goodnight Moose.” You whisper to your dog, running your hand through his fur one final time before allowing your tired eyes to close as you reminisce on the festivities you held earlier in the day as you fall asleep.

You couldn’t wait for next year.

taglist (comment or ask to be tagged):

@zbeez-outlet @kaceywithak @tsnelf7 @starkleila @cassadilasworld @shanimallina87 @madstxo @chaoticassidy @padsdarlg @lauraseresin @alohastitch0626 @angelbabyange @kmc1989

[tvseries-writings]

Heart Problems - Part II

Heart attack - Part I

Maya x Carina x reader

Platonic! Amelia shepard x reader

TW: heart disease, past drug addiction and alcol abuse, panic attacks

You hold the smoke for a few seconds before releasing it into the air around you. You couldn’t smoke, not after you had a heart attack about one and a half month ago that forced you to stay in the hospital for almost four endless weeks. To say that Carina and Maya had been overprotective is an understatement; you couldn’t even go to the bathroom by yourself, and if they saw you smoking…you would get an unparalleled lecture. In fact, you even think they might be watching you h72.

“Although you are very sexy when you smoke, you are an idiot because you know you shouldn’t do it.”

You blink, releasing a sigh as you hear a voice you know all too well. “Amelia, it’s not what it seems like…”

“Oh no? Because you seem to be smoking after being expressly forbidden since you had a heart attack for that reason.”

The neurosurgeon does not bother to hide her sarcastic tone as she snatches the cigarette from your hand and throws it on the ground, extinguishing it with her shoe.

You roll your eyes, avoiding protest because you know she is right.

She drags you inside the apartment, continuing to mumble a few insults and repeat over and over how stupid you are. She forcefully closes the window overlooking the balcony before sitting you down on the couch and looking at you with such a disapproving look that you almost feel guilty. Almost.

“Amelia, it’s not a big deal. Don’t make a big deal out of it, it was just a cigarette. My heart attack was due to that shit about my heart murmur that I didn’t control properly, you know and-”

“Fuck you y/n, even a cigarette would hurt you in your condition and don’t say bullshit to me because we both know that wasn’t the first one you were smoking. An adolescence of alcohol and avid smoking got you to this point, now you can’t drink or smoke because you risk another heart attack y/n and we won’t be able to bring you back again!”

You look away, looking anywhere but at the girl you now love like a sister.

You remember all too well; how quickly she had entered your hospital room a few weeks earlier, her eyes terrified and her chest heaving from the long run that had brought her there.

“…Are you going to tell Maya and Carina?”

The neurosurgeon distracts you from your thoughts. She releases a small sigh before sitting down on the couch, inches away from you.

“If I don’t do it, how can I trust that you won’t do it again? This is about your health and, unfortunately, you suck at taking care of yourself. I mean…we’ve had proof of that, it was so stupid not to get regular checkups for the last five years…damn y/n, you knew you had a heart murmur and yet you had the nerve to not care at all by continuing to drink and smoke…”

You can’t blame her, you’ve always been reckless with your health. A bad habit, if you can call it that, that was imposed on you from birth. Your father’s daughter could not be weak, she had to hide her bruises, split lips, black eyes and cracked ribs…you could not show your weaknesses, all emotions had to be stifled and you did, with smoking, alcohol and drugs. That was until your chemistry teacher had opened your eyes, paid for your rehabilitation, and the only vice you kept were cigarettes and alcohol, but never to the point of drunkenness. Your girlfriends, all your friends, and Amelia herself had only found out about it with the little mishap that landed you in a hospital bed.

Amelia sighs, gives you a heartbroken look, and circles your back with her arm.

“Honey, your problem is serious. You have had a heart attack y/n and the chances of you having another one are high, unfortunately. You need to be careful. You can’t-”

Amelia’s speech is interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, followed immediately by a delightful Italian accent that you know very well.

“Bella, I’m home. Where are you?”

You open your eyes wide, aware that the smell of smoke is still firmly imprinted on your clothes.

Panic creeps into you. Carina cannot find out you were smoking; she would kill you. You cast a desperate glance at Amelia, panic beginning to close in on your lungs.

Amelia snaps to her feet, kneeling in front of you and undoing the first three buttons of your shirt as soon as she realizes you are on the verge of a panic attack.

“Y/n okay, you need to breathe” Amelia tries to take your hand but you shrug it off, shaking hard and burying your head between your knees.

Your lungs struggling to circulate some air; your chest barely rising and falling.

“Y/n you need to calm down, you’ll have a heart attack if you keep this up. You need to breathe.”

Amelia tries to take your hand but you shrug it off, shaking hard and hiding your head between your knees.

Amelia is practically screaming but you don’t hear her. You don’t even hear when she screams your girls’ name loudly nor her hurried footsteps on the marble floor. You barely notice her presence only when she forces your face away from the shelter between your knees, taking your face in her hands.

“Hey Bella, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay, we’re okay. Just follow my breathing.”

You are distant, Carina sees. Your eyes are glassy and it’s as if you don’t hear your girlfriend’s voice or her touch at all.

Carina rests her right hand on your chest, your heart beating furiously against her palm, which fuels her concern more.

“Amelia, help me get her to the bathroom. We have to get her back, I can’t calm her down and if she keeps this up…”

She doesn’t need to finish the sentence for the neurosurgeon to understand.

Carina takes you in her arms, her heart aching to see you in this condition. Amelia opens the bathroom door, hurrying to the shower and turning the cold knob to maximum.

Carina steps into the shower, supporting your frail body as you are hit by the icy water.

You gasp, emerging from the panic attack in shock and chattering your teeth from the cold.

“It’s okay Bella, I’m here. It’s over, now breathe” Carina whispers in your ear, supporting your body to prevent you from hurting yourself in case you pass out from the exertion. It’s been a long time since you had such a panic attack.

Amelia mumbles something to Carina before leaving you alone. You don’t feel it, all your concentration is used in regulating your breathing and smoothing out the stabbing pain in your chest.

“How do you feel?”

The Italian shakes a strand of hair from your face, stroking your right cheek and turning a smile to you.

You blink slowly, nodding just barely. Carina sighs, rising from the cold shower floor and grabbing a towel before wrapping it around you.

She picks you up again, carrying you to your room. You do not object; you are too tired to do so.

The brunette leans you on the blankets, your wet hair dripping on them, but Carina doesn’t care.

She takes off your wet clothes and covers you with a pair of heavy blankets before changing. Fortunately, your hair is not very wet; you don’t think you would have had the strength or inclination to dry it.

The Italian slips under the covers with you, encircling your waist with her arms and resting two fingers on your right wrist to check your pulse.

“Car, I’m fine. You don’t need-”

“No Bella, this is important. I need to check. I’d like to take you to the hospital, I understand you don’t want to go back but it’s been a long time since you’ve had an attack like this and you have a slight tachycardia that could be due to the panic attack but I’d rather check that it’s not due to anything else.”

You shake your head, retracting your arm from her grip.

“I’m not going back to the hospital Carina, I’m fine.”

Carina turns you toward her, kissing your forehead before placing a hand on your chest.

“You smoked earlier, didn’t you? I smelled it as soon as I walked in.”

You bite your lip, looking away from those hazel eyes you love so much.

Carina sighs and shakes her head before snuggling closer to your body.

“You can’t do this Bella, you know. It hurts and maybe the tachycardia is due to that too. Teddy was very clear about that, no alcohol or smoking. You know that.”

“I know love ma-”

“No ‘buts’ y/n; this is about your health, your heart…you can’t play Russian roulette with your own life. If it doesn’t get better in ten minutes, let’s go to the hospital.”

Her tone does not allow for retort, and frankly, you are too tired to object. You barely nod and allow yourself to be lulled by the warmth emanating from his body in contact with yours. You fall asleep without even realizing it, abandoning yourself to the arms of Morpheus.

………………………………………………………………..

When you wake up, you realize that you and Carina are not the only ones in the bed. An adorable little blond head is nestled in the pillow by your side; her arm is around your waist, just below Carina’s.

You glance at the clock on the wall in front of you; it is only four o'clock in the morning and yet sleep has completely passed you by. You struggle to disentangle yourself from your girls’ grasp, being careful not to make too much noise or an abrupt movement to avoid waking them.

You hold back a yawn as you make your way to the kitchen. Your gaze focuses on the clock hanging on the wall. 4:50, great. Maya will be up any minute, if her morning run is not early in the morning, the blonde is not happy.

You sigh, turning on the stove and whisking two eggs onto the pan. You’re so focused on not burning what you’re cooking that when Maya wraps her arms around your waist, you freak out and gasp.

“Hey, it’s just me. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Maya places a kiss on your exposed neck, sending shivers up your spine.

“Are you okay? It’s early, how come you’re already awake?”

Maya whispers, turning off the stove before you can. You sigh again, leaning into her touch as if your life depended solely on it.

“I couldn’t fall asleep last night-”

“I know, Carina told me,” Maya interrupts you, turning you to face her before leaving a sweet kiss on your lips.

Your hands slip under the fireman’s shirt, but before you can even try to unhook her bra, Maya stops you.

Her fingers grip your wrists gently as she shakes her head firmly.

“No sex until Teddy gives us permission, you know that – and you’re grounded, you’ve been smoking.”

You pout, turning off the stove before patting her butt.

“You want to keep me from touching this beautiful ass?”

“Y/n! I have no words…I’m going for a run. Try to go back to sleep love, will you?”

You nod, and she leaves a kiss on your temple before slipping her headphones into her ears and walking out of your apartment.

You stay there in the kitchen for another ten minutes or so before you put the things you have prepared (eggs and bacon) on the table and get back into bed with Carina. As soon as you tuck yourself in, the Italian curls up next to your side, rubbing her nose against your cheek and resting a hand on your chest, just above your heart.

“Good morning, how are you feeling amore mio?”

“I’m fine Car, good morning to you too.”

You give her a small smile before turning to her and kissing the tip of her nose.

Carina crinkles her eyes, leaning her head against your shoulder.

“What time is it? I’m still very sleepy…”

“It’s almost 5:30-”

You don’t have time to finish the sentence when you see Carina open her eyes wide and give you a light slap on your right arm.

“Tu sei pazza!Che cosa stai facendo alzata a quest’ora?”

You didn’t understand a single word she just said but, knowing her, she probably called you a psychopath for waking up so early. With Maya she has lost hope by now but she didn’t believe that you were also turning to the dark side-this upsets her.

“Go back to sleep,” you chuckle, shaking your head with a glint of amusement in your eyes due to your girlfriend’s overdramatization.

Carina mumbles something in Italian before nodding with conviction and snuggling against your chest, closing her eyes. And it only takes five minutes to fall deeply asleep. Damn, you envy this girl for her sleeping skills; she could sleep just fine for 12 hours straight if you or Maya didn’t wake her up.

After half an hour passes, your hopes of falling back asleep magically disappear replaced by a lethal boredom. You’d like to reach out and grab the phone on the nightstand but, alas, doing so would wake Carina and you don’t want to upset the doctor before her morning coffee. You’re not that dumb.

At 6:20, the door of your apartment opens. It is Maya returning from her run. As soon as the blonde enters your bedroom, she immediately realizes that you are still awake.

“You should be asleep…” her tone is one of reproach but her love-filled gaze betrays her.

“I can’t,” you whisper, turning to face her. Damn it, you shouldn’t have done that. Maya is taking off her sweaty T-shirt and her sculpted abs enchant you.

A familiar warmth radiates from your lower abdomen.

“No, don’t even think about it; I already told you that-”

You stop her with a kiss. Not just a simple kiss, not one of those in-the-mold kisses you give when you’re in too much of a hurry…it’s definitely one of those kisses that makes you 'lift your leg’ like in the old movies.

Your hands slide under her sports bra, slipping it off. Maya lets out a moan as you lay her down on the bed, right next to her wife’s sleeping body. You slip off her pants, beginning to kiss her neck and going down to her navel. Her fingers grip your hair before frantically slipping off your T-shirt, tossing it to the floor.

You giggle, letting out a small scream as the blonde reverses your positions.

A mischievous smile ripples her lips, she leans over your breasts and brings her lips close to your left nipple before biting down hard. Hard enough to turn you on but not hard enough to hurt. A moan leaves your lips as the fireman slips her hand into your pants and begins to tease your clit. Your nails sink into her back as you capture her lips, carrying her into another kiss.

The blonde increases the pace, your clit is swollen and throbbing but that mere stimulation is not enough; you need more.

“Maya…Maya please” you whimper, rubbing yourself against her hand.

The fireman gives you a smile before pushing three fingers inside you.

“Fuck” you squeeze your eyes shut, arching your back and going along with her thrusts as you enjoy that pleasurable stretch.

Your fingers slide along her abs, stimulating her sensitive nipples. Maya gasps, going faster; the bed creaks, rocking again and again

A twinge in your chest makes you moan, not in pleasure though. Your breathing is heavy and your chest rises and falls far too fast for the blonde’s liking. Maya stops immediately, moving a few inches away to look into your eyes. An extremely worried look contours her face.

“Are you okay?”

You take a few seconds before realizing that the blonde has stopped.

“Heyy, why did you stop? Come on Maya, I was going to-”

Maya raises her left eyebrow, looking at you contritely before leaning over your chest. The smirk that had just reappeared on your face disappears as soon as you see her bow her head to put her ear over your chest and auscultate your pulse.

“It’s too fast, I knew it wasn’t a good idea…”

Maya shakes her head, biting her lip and looking away. She notices a slight panic invade her eyes and her mind begin to spin.

“Hey, hey, stop. Maya I’m fine love, I’m fine. Okay? Breathe with me, that’s it, good.”

You take her face in your hands forcing her to look at you and breathing noisily so she can follow your breathing. In a couple of minutes, the panic vanishes from the blue eyes you love so much.

“Are you okay?”

You whisper , stroking her cheeks. The firefighter nods just before hugging you.

“What are you doing?”

Carina yawns, covering her face with her right hand as she turns toward you.

“Just a little morning cuddle, good morning gorgeous.”

You smile, letting Maya recover as you lean over to kiss the Italian.

Despite her sleep, Carina is not buying it. And Maya is a too anxious person to not reveal her fears to her wife.

“Child, what is going on?” Carina turns completely toward Maya, and before you can even try to convince her not to say anything, the fireman speaks.

“Her pulse is really fast…can you please check her?”

“Car, I’m fine…Maya is on the verge of a panic attack and-”

Carina quickly sits up, now wide awake with worry etched on her face.

She takes your wrist in her right hand, resting two fingers over your vein to check your pulse and, at the same time, check the clock that sits on the wall opposite the bed in your room.

“Car, I’m fine, can we check Maya please?”

You whisper, not wanting the blonde to hear you; your chest hurts and you feel it getting harder and harder to breathe but you don’t care, not with Maya like this.

Carina turns to her wife and it doesn’t take long to realize that she is completely immersed in her head right now.

“You’re not well, you’re not well at all. Your heart is beating at 184 beats per minute…we need to lower it y/n.”

As Carina rummages through the drawers of the nightstand beside the bed, you don’t look away from Maya.

Carina takes your left arm and pulls up your sleeve, placing a tourniquet just below your shoulder, waiting to get a good look at the vein before suctioning 30 ml of Procainamide, which Teddy told you to use in such cases.

“Lie down, if in 5-6 minutes your pulse hasn’t dropped we’re going to the hospital y/n.”

You barely nod, looking away as soon as Carina sticks the needle in your arm, slowly diluting the drug in your blood. You take deep breaths, lying on the bed and at the same time observing the interaction between Maya and Carina.

“Bambina, bambina hey.”

Carina strokes Maya’s face gently, making her focus on herself. Maya seems to come back to herself, her feet on the ground.

“Car..y/n, she-?”

You sit up, ignoring Carina’s scowl, placing a hand on Maya’s back to make her notice your presence.

The blonde turns toward you and hugs you, leaving you momentarily stunned, as does Carina.

Maya does not extremely like physical contact after a panic attack or dissociation of this kind.

You stroke her back; your caresses alternate with Carina’s sweet words. The Italian is speaking her native language; neither you nor Maya can fully understand her but they always cause you great comfort. A feeling the same as when you are in front of a bonfire with your nearest and dearest surrounding you.

Ten minutes later, Maya is completely asleep in the arms of you and Carina.

“Bella, hey.”

Carina whispers, turning toward you and being quiet so as not to wake the fireman.

“Check your heart rate on the apple watch.”

You turn your right wrist with effort toward you, as it is weighed down by the blonde’s sleeping body.

“95 bpm.”

Carina releases a sigh that is probably a sigh of relief.

“Good, not ideal yet but definitely better than before…I think we should get some more sleep, Maya and I still don’t have to work and you are on forced bed rest.”

You barely nod, sighing at those conditions before closing your eyes. It’s a problem, you’ll have to talk about them being so overprotective but not now, maybe later…

Well, I know I haven’t updated in a while, really, I know. I’m sorry and I promise I’ll try to update more often, I really will. Requests are open (as always folks, you should know that by now) and one more time, thanks for reading. Have a great day!

Here the ko-fi link to support me, or share, like, comments…all those things are really appreciated.

Taglist: @mmmmokdok @blackhill2245 @melatonindaydreamz @foggytidalwavefun @sevnheaven @budoxinha @gayshyandreadytocry @lighthousekiller @m456300 @blitzar-3 @in-love-with-heda @idontknownemore @lesbianbabe @speedup500 @differentranchempathfestival @mebeingthatbitch @jemilyswife @yuleni18

[hazelcephalopod]

Notes on this weeks Greys Anatomy (for fun!)

- Adams is so related to Derrick props to the actor for his performance. Really does give “surfer dude Derrick”

- there is no cure for diabetes, insulin is a treatment which very much doesn’t cure it. However it does ring a bell as to something that I think Bailey was researching; so there may be a cure in their universe, I believe bionics were used? Unfortunately still none in ours.

- Yes! Pay your interns a living wage! Support and help them more!

- tbh as I doubt they are making Jules Aro or anything, soI hope her roommate is at least partially here to meddle in her relationship with Blue.

- dude… truly you are so lucky to be here (alive).

- I mean I guess they can’t reveal it because of HIPPA but didn’t the Tank have like… a atypically terrible rxn to surgery? (He threw a clot that just happens not a whole lot you can do unfortunately)

- Hunt… being Hunt again. And I kinda like him, deeply flawed and s/x just an asshole but he’s got good moments, this is not one of his good moments.

- maybe two limbs at a a time. Compromise!

- Actually though, good on Link. Do not waste time with Hunt and his drama.

- Richard is such a boomer rn. Some of them can barely eat. There! Teddy is right.

- right when I was about to ask “What is up with Adams, ADHD? Something else?” And Uh… McTransplant tells him to ‘fix his ADHD’ (with meds). But his face is giving either “how did he know and wtf can he say that to me?” Or “why does he think I have ADHD? Am I ADHD?”

- well I’m glad they are having this meeting. Actually I’m glad to see them have a meeting about admin and logistics personally.

- Ah Adms did not know he has ADHD. Well, at least he is learning that.

- oh I think I must have forgotten him revealing he was related to the Shepards… lol.

- Yay! Grants! Good for her (and sure good on them we will praise good if just barely what the line should be behavior).

- Oh poor Jules. And her roommate. UTIs are no joke.

- I love the big surgeries but more and more a little part of me wonders “who is paying for this?”

- tonight (or last night) in the Greysverse it is “find out” day.

- Man I hope wing suit guy lives because idk if Link can take another blow to his… anything. (Huzzah! So far he did!)

- “For now” is always a very important addition and again Link good on you for standing up to Hunt.

- Yasuda is like, wtf is going on today? Big win for her and big relatable for “good things happening to me? What?”

- yeah he’s pretty textbook for ADHD with big Executive Functioning issues. This is a neat storyline. Hey they even just used the word neurodivergent, that was weird to hear on this show but good for them. Also good to know that McTransplant also is ADHD, makes his earlier comment not good bust slightly less bad to me. Also is more rep! I’ll take it.

- Webber going to try to convince Helm having learned that uh… she had some real issues being in their program (so many had issues in their very messed up problems).

- I’m so glad Amelia is making all these apologies and amends. I do still fear for her and a backslide though.

- yea Winston’s got a right to still be mad.

[chrancecriber]

Chilltrax (June 28, 2023)

23:58 Flexible Fire - Marea Turquesa 23:54 Deep Sound Effect Feat. Svetlana Voice - Dreaming About You (Dj Aristocrat Remix) 23:54 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 23:49 Blank & Jones - Alone In This Rhythm (Ben Macklin Remix) 23:46 Attom - Where Are We Going 23:42 Kelela - Enough For Love 23:38 Satin Jackets & Panama - Alive 23:33 Thievery Corporation - Liberation Front 23:33 C H I L L T R A X - I'd Like To Return To The Classics 23:30 Afterlife - All I Wanted 23:27 Henry Green - Realign 23:21 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 23:18 Liz Cass - Blue 23:13 Reel People & Muhsinah - Something New (Kraak & Smaak Remix) 23:13 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 23:10 Ran The Man - Yucatan 23:05 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 23:01 Eli & Fur Feat. Brothertiger - She's Just A Wanderer 22:56 Fakear - Crystal 22:52 Royksopp - Me&youphoria 22:49 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 22:49 C H I L L T R A X - Ct Where The World Comes To Chill Out 22:44 Sao Miguel Feat. Sebastian Reynoso - Hope In Balance (Wisternoff-grant Remix) 22:41 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 22:37 Mansionair & Vandelux - Empty Promise 22:34 Morcheeba - The Moon (Kutiman Remix - Version B) 22:29 Alex V - Cristal Shore 22:24 Nando Rodriguez Feat. Lottie - Madness (Cafe Chill Out Mix) 22:24 C H I L L T R A X - Musique Nonstop 22:20 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 22:17 Tep No & Noak Hellsing - I Won’t Need You 22:12 Arto - Para Mi 22:09 Boerd Feat. Stella Explorer - Before We Drown 22:09 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 22:06 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 22:01 Shallou - Fading 21:58 Sum Wave - It Feels Like Summer 21:53 Steven Weston Feat. Lapsley - Like I Used To 21:48 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 21:48 C H I L L T R A X - Distinctively Different 21:44 Shingo Nakamura - Falling Off 21:40 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 21:36 Little Dragon - Water 21:31 Blank & Jones - Floatation 21:28 Blonde Maze - Daydream (Otherwise Fine Remix) 21:28 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 21:23 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 21:19 Teemid - L.a. 21:14 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 21:11 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 21:11 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 21:06 Farius - A Big Life (Sound Quelle Remix) 21:03 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 20:59 Tomb - Unbound 20:56 Elderbrook - All My Love 20:56 C H I L L T R A X - Cool Refreshed Smooth As Can Be 20:52 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 20:49 Emmit Fenn - The Chase 20:45 Jean Vayat & Evelynka - My Soul 20:41 Flexible Fire - Amatista 20:36 Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy (Oakenfold Remix) 20:36 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Bassy Dr 20:32 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 20:29 Melosense - Can't Replace You 20:25 Floa & Ra5im - Give Me A Second 20:21 Alampa - Seesaw Season 20:17 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 20:17 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax 20:13 Jones Meadow - Shackles 20:09 Lliam And Latroit Feat. Brea - Someday (Latroit Edition) 20:04 Maya Jane Coles Feat .chelou - Never Asked For Much 20:00 Sultan Shepard - Sirens 19:56 Alex Hook Feat. Rene - You Showed Me 19:56 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 19:53 Baynk Feat. Drama - 1 Chance 19:50 Dye O - Simply Be Here 19:46 Satin Jackets & Panama - The Future 19:41 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 19:37 Tycho - Receiver 19:37 C H I L L T R A X - See That The Humans Are Entertained 19:33 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 19:29 Blonde Maze - A Break In Continuity (Forty Cats Remix) 19:24 Arto - Now You're Gone 19:21 Leisure Feat. Muroki - Summer Season 19:16 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 19:16 C H I L L T R A X - The Interstellar Chillout Channel 19:11 Two Lanes - Reflections (Il Lo Remix) 19:07 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 19:03 Ross Couch - On Fire (Downtempo Mix) 18:58 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 18:54 Flume Feat. Emma Louise - Hollow (Logic1000 Remix) 18:50 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 18:50 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 18:45 Adisyn - Digital Heart 18:41 Phoenix & Dj Falcon - Winter Solstice (Braxe Falcon Remix) 18:35 Nox Vahn & Marsh - Come Together 18:33 Emmit Fenn - What Falling In Love Is For 18:29 Dreem - Miles Away 18:25 Tosca - Swimswimswim 18:25 C H I L L T R A X - Listen To This! 18:21 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 18:17 Odesza Feat. Olafur Arnalds - Light Of Day (Parra For Cuva Remix) 18:13 Holen - Breathe 18:09 Avira & Nourey Feat. Tom Bailey - Favourite Game 18:09 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 18:05 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 18:01 Everything But The Girl - Run A Red Light 17:56 Pilots Of Peace - Fallin 17:52 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 17:48 Pines - Dawn 17:48 C H I L L T R A X - Wonderful Tan! 17:45 Giants' Nest - Flower Burst 17:41 Cannons - Loving You 17:37 Fhin Feat. Sahara - Fallin' Fallin' 17:34 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 17:30 Helicopter Girl - Angel City 17:30 C H I L L T R A X - Comes To Chill Out 17:25 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 17:20 Chris Malinchak, Kiesza, Malin - Tree 17:15 Valante - Eio 17:11 Nuage Feat. Gus - The Place We Know 17:11 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Rocket Empire 17:08 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Gordi - No One Else 17:04 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 17:00 Jones Meadow - Fences 16:55 Blonde Maze - Night Light (Hessian Remix) 16:55 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 16:51 Mozez & Tim Angrave - Head Full Of Dreams 16:46 Shingo Nakamura - Come Closer 16:41 Zhu & Yuna - Sky Is Crying 16:36 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 16:31 Rhye - Feel Your Weight (Poolside Remix) 16:31 C H I L L T R A X - Industrial 16:28 Vandelux - Tulum 16:23 Eli & Fur - Better In The Dark 16:18 Marsh - Me & You (Joe Miller Remix) 16:15 Elderbrook & Tourist - Howl (Chill Mix) 16:11 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 16:11 C H I L L T R A X - Worlds Chillout Channel (Chillout Channel) 16:07 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 16:03 Attom - Distant Memories 15:58 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 15:54 Il:lo - Ink 15:50 Alampa - The One 15:50 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 15:45 Kraak & Smaak Feat. Izo Fitzroy - Twilight 15:42 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 15:38 Odesza Feat. Maro - Better Now 15:34 False Intentions - Good Liar 15:29 Zero 7 - Red Blue And Green (Dub Copy) 15:29 C H I L L T R A X - Well How Ya Like It? Terrific! 15:25 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 15:22 Drama - Don't Hold Back 15:18 Pableno - Heights 15:14 Fkj Feat. Little Dragon - Can't Stop 15:11 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 15:11 C H I L L T R A X - Twcc Chill Chill Chill Chilltrax 15:07 Vintage & Morelli - Once Upon A World 15:04 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 15:01 Kaskade With Project 46 - Chains Chilled 14:57 Melosense - Nous 14:53 Blonde Maze - When You Move 14:48 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 14:48 C H I L L T R A X - Ct The Backward Chillout Channel 14:44 Logic1000 - 21 14:41 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 14:37 Kayobe & Zoe Sky Jordan - No Sympathy 14:34 Armin Van Buuren & Matoma Feat Teddy Swims - Easy To Love 14:29 Two Lanes - Movement 14:26 Morcheeba - Otherwise 14:25 C H I L L T R A X - I'd Like To Return To The Classics 14:21 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 14:18 Tep No - Deep Sin 14:14 Rocket Empire - Lima 14:10 Darius Feat. Wayne Snow - Apology 14:10 C H I L L T R A X - Trans Europe Vocoder 14:06 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 14:03 Ferr By Ferry Corsten And Youth Novels - Hands 14:00 Attom - Where Are We Going 13:57 53 Thieves - Waves 13:52 Dj San & Sebastian Moore - In Your Eyes 13:52 C H I L L T R A X - Like Lobster Straight Out Of The Sink! 13:48 Jones Meadow - Alike 13:44 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 13:40 Emmit Fenn & Shallou - Hollow 13:35 Il:lo - Cynnes 13:31 Jos & Eli & Eli & Fur - Riffs Of The Night 13:31 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 13:27 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 13:22 Tycho Feat. Saint Sinner - Japan (Chilltrax Mix) 13:18 Woven - Brushes 13:15 Alampa - Seesaw Season 13:15 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 13:10 Embliss & Lumynesynth - Phases Of The Moon 13:05 Maya Jane Coles Feat .chelou - Never Asked For Much 13:00 Above And Beyond - Sun In Your Eyes (William Orbit Remix) 12:57 Embrz Feat. Abroad - Rise 12:57 C H I L L T R A X - Come Along Children - Need To Chill Out 12:51 Trilucid - Cheyenne (Extended Sunset Mix) 12:48 Blonde Maze - Fade Into You 12:44 London Grammar - How Does It Feel 12:41 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 12:37 Camelphat X Cristoph Feat. Jem Cooke - Breathe (Camelphat Just Chill Mix) 12:37 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Bassy Dr 12:33 Everything But The Girl - Caution To The Wind 12:29 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 12:26 Ran The Man - Swimmingpool 12:21 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 12:16 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 12:16 C H I L L T R A X - World Comes To Chilltrax.com 12:11 Alex V - Cristal Shore 12:06 Rüfüs Du Sol - See You Again 12:03 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 11:58 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 11:52 Attlas Feat. Mango - Over The Water 11:52 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 11:48 Circle Sky - Love Hertz 11:45 Sum Wave - It Feels Like Summer 11:41 Lp Giobbi Feat. Dj Tennis & Joseph Ashworth - All In A Dream 11:37 Lamorn - Olsen After Midnight 11:32 Deep Forest - Sing With The Birds (Onuka Remix) 11:32 C H I L L T R A X - Retsyn 11:28 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 11:23 Ry X & Olafur Arnalds - Oceans 11:19 Rocket Empire - Astoria 11:15 Nightcap - The Two Of Us (We Only Need) 11:11 Elderbrook - The End 11:11 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 11:06 Two Lanes - Ascend 11:01 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 10:56 Double Touch Feat. Reigan - Greatest Day 10:52 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 10:48 Jimpster & Oliver Night - Ascension 10:44 Evelynka - Letting Go 10:44 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 10:40 Logic1000 Feat. Big Ever - Natural 10:36 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 10:32 Washed Out - Time To Walk Away 10:27 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Julia Church - 9 Days 10:23 Jones Meadow - Shackles 10:17 Jody Wisternoff Feat. Sian Evans - The Bridge 10:17 C H I L L T R A X - Musique Nonstop 10:14 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 10:10 Lapsley - Levitate 10:07 Giants' Nest - Heart Void 10:03 Lane 8 Feat. Channy Leaneagh - I'll Wait 10:03 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 09:59 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 09:56 Eli & Fur - Wild Skies 09:52 Holen - Healing 09:47 Dom Dolla & Mansionair - Strangers (Flight Facilities Remix) 09:44 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 09:43 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 09:39 Maxxim - Waterfalls 09:35 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 09:32 Kelela - Contact 09:27 Fakear - Crystal 09:22 Mishegas - Temporary Love (Il:lo Remix) 09:22 C H I L L T R A X - Organ The Chillout Channel 09:18 Nuage Feat. Gus - The Place We Know 09:14 Kidnap Feat. Leo Stannard - Moments (Ben Bohmer Nils Hoffmann Remix) 09:11 Flexible Fire - Marea Turquesa 09:06 Mozez & Tim Angrave - Head Full Of Dreams 09:06 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Rocket Empire 09:03 Eloi El - Stick Together (Blonde Maze Remix) 08:57 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 08:54 Sum Wave - Milkyway 08:51 Chris Malinchak - Cellophane 08:51 C H I L L T R A X - Parents Magazine Seal 08:47 Satin Jackets & Panama - Alive 08:43 Sg Lewis - Lifetime 08:39 Diplo & Black Coffee Feat. Elderbrook - Never Gonna Forget 08:34 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 08:29 Claptone - Under The Moon (Cassius Remix) 08:29 C H I L L T R A X - Industrial 08:25 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 08:21 Andre Aguado - Through The Night 08:18 Jones Meadow - Powerlines 08:13 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 08:09 Everything But The Girl - Forever 08:09 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 08:05 Dye O - Simply Be Here 08:00 Nicolas Godin Feat. Cola Boyy - The Foundation 07:57 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 07:54 Tomb - Unbound 07:50 Leisure - Take You Higher (Serebii & Arjuna Oakes Remix) 07:50 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 07:45 Joachim Pastor Feat. Nathan Nicholson - Saint Louis 07:42 Dreem - Miles Away 07:38 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Just Wanted To Know 07:33 False Intentions - Good Liar 07:28 Be Svendsen - Andromeda 07:28 C H I L L T R A X - Be Svendsen World Comes 07:24 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 07:21 Eric Hilton Feat. Elin Melgarejo - La Nuit 07:16 Blank & Jones - Floatation 07:12 Emmit Fenn - --amman 07:08 Xixi Feat. Kwesi - Close To U 07:08 C H I L L T R A X - Backward Rvb Where World Comes 07:04 Duckmaw - Nox 07:01 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - Let's Just Have Some Fun 06:57 Rezident - Wellenlainge 06:54 Flexible Fire - Amatista 06:49 Two Lanes - Never Enough 06:44 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 06:44 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 06:41 Aether - Jupiter & Saturn 06:37 Elderbrook & Tourist - Howl (Chill Mix) 06:33 Chris Malinchak - Saving My Love 06:29 Andrew Nagy & Joel Winterflood - Little To None 06:25 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 06:19 Zero 7 - On My Own 06:19 C H I L L T R A X - Jimpster 1 06:16 Cannons - Loving You 06:13 Forester - Saint (Shallou Remix) 06:08 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 06:03 Ross Quinn - Away With Me 06:03 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 05:58 Maya Jane Coles Feat .chelou - Never Asked For Much 05:53 Roisin Murphy - Assimilation 05:49 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 05:46 Tep No Feat. Starzun - Hold Me 05:43 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 05:43 C H I L L T R A X - No Sticky Fingers 05:39 Shingo Nakamura - Focus 05:35 Jan Blomqvist - Carry On (Earthlife Remix) 05:32 Avira & Nicholas Gunn - Sensing You 05:28 Passenger 10 - Voices In Her Head 05:23 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 05:23 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 05:19 Alampa - Seesaw Season 05:16 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Spell 05:13 Sultan Shepard - Sirens 05:09 Phoenix & Dj Falcon - Winter Solstice (Braxe Falcon Remix) 05:09 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 05:05 Lipless & Blue Noir - Alone 05:02 Xixi & Hildur Ottilia - Don't Worry 04:57 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 04:53 Session Victim - The Pain 04:53 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 04:50 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 04:46 Two Lanes & Panama - Rolling Back 04:41 Ry X & Olafur Arnalds - Colorblind (Whomadewho Remix) 04:36 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 04:31 Parra For Cuva - Paspatou 04:31 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Bassy Dr 04:27 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 04:23 Gold Lounge - Higher 04:19 Chris Malinchak - Control 04:16 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 04:11 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 04:11 C H I L L T R A X - Dionigi/the Chillout Channel 04:08 Attom - Where Are We Going 04:05 Henry Green Feat. Andreya Triana - Tide 04:00 Chicane & The Mannequin - Summer In E Major 03:57 Lapsley - 32 Floors 03:54 Holen - Breathe 03:54 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 03:49 Lamorn - Olsen After Midnight 03:46 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson - Ambivalence 03:41 Alex V - Cristal Shore 03:36 John Monkman Feat. Liz Cass - Open Frontier 03:36 C H I L L T R A X - Trans Europe Vocoder 03:33 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 03:27 Sumsuch Feat. Matty Eeles - Find Home (Vincenzo-chilltrax Sumdub Mix) 03:22 Il:lo - Cynnes 03:17 Satin Jackets - Don't Worry (Lost Desert Remix) 03:12 Reel People & Muhsinah - Something New (Kraak & Smaak Remix) 03:12 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 03:07 Forty Cats & Arentis - Zen 03:03 Sons Of Maria - Lake Tahoe 03:00 Sum Wave - It Feels Like Summer 02:55 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 02:50 Dj San & Sebastian Moore - In Your Eyes 02:45 Massane - No Return 02:44 C H I L L T R A X - Distinctively Different 02:41 Afterlife - All I Wanted 02:36 Royksopp - Beautiful Day Without You 02:33 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 02:28 Darius Feat. Benny Sings - Rise (Darius Remix) 02:22 Claptone Feat. Jaw - No Eyes 02:22 C H I L L T R A X - World Comes To Chilltrax.com 02:18 Jones Meadow - Fences 02:14 Nuage Feat. Gus - The Place We Know 02:10 Boerd - 2far 02:05 Two Lanes - Movement 02:05 C H I L L T R A X - Scratch Toh (Freesound) Chilltrax 02:02 Mango & Cloudcage - More Than This 01:56 Braxe Falcon - Step By Step (Amtrac Remix) 01:53 Odsen - Retrospective 01:49 Drama - Hold On (Rezident Remix) 01:49 C H I L L T R A X - No Sticky Fingers 01:44 Alex Lo Faro - Move With Me 01:40 Sound Quelle & Tailor - Where We Should Be 01:37 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson - Riptide 01:33 Arto - Now You're Gone 01:28 Massive Attack - Paradise Circus 01:28 C H I L L T R A X - I'd Like To Return To The Classics 01:23 Eli & Fur - Better In The Dark 01:19 Above & Beyond & Marty Longstaff - Gratitude (Aname Pm Mix) 01:14 Bonsaye - Viaje 01:10 Mozez & Tim Angrave - Head Full Of Dreams 01:06 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 01:06 C H I L L T R A X - Worlds Chillout Channel (Chillout Channel) 01:02 Holen - Healing 00:59 Pines Feat. Water Park - Tell Me 00:55 Attlas & Jodie Knight - Used To The Silence 00:50 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 00:45 Northern Form - Mend 00:45 C H I L L T R A X - Industrial 00:40 Mazoulew Feat. Bonnie Wylde - Circles 00:36 Dye O - Simply Be Here 00:31 Royksopp & Susanne Sundfor - Oh, Lover (Nto Remix) 00:27 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 00:22 Leaving Laurel - Falling Apart 00:22 C H I L L T R A X - Like Lobster Straight Out Of The Sink! 00:18 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 00:13 Sons Of Maria - Close To Me 00:09 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 00:06 Boerd Feat. Stella Explorer - Another Life 00:01 Nicholas Gunn & Alina Renae - Angel Eyes 00:00 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax

[oneshotnewbie]

Amelias little sisters abusive ex shows up at the hospital.

A/N: I posted an Alternative to this request below this one because I had two ideas to this. Hope you like them ♥

---

You had the first half of your working day successfully behind you. After three patients who were admitted to the emergency room because of a car accident and one whom you performed an emergency operation that took several hours you were now hoping for a great lunch with your friends that you really deserved.

"Did the man survive?" asked Amelia both, Meredith and you, while you both walked down the stairs with your lunch and she joined you. The blonde and you managed to stabilize him and repair the injuries, but they were critical; he just had to wake up and get through the next 24 hours. "Barely. Bowel was perforated, spleen was ruptured and a broken rib pierced his lungs. It was close, but he survived."

"Nice work, little sister!" she exclaimed while giving you a nudge in the other direction, smiling and proud. Thankfully Meredith cushioned your tumble with her own body and you walked further down the stairs laughing as you met Maggie, who also wanted to have lunch with you.

Together you walked outside and looked for a place in the warm sun.

While you were enjoying your lunch and chatting about all sorts of topics and current surgeries, you began to feel increasingly uncomfortable. It was like your body was reacting to something you hadn't realized yet. Almost paranoid, you turned around in all different directions and looked around, not without the others noticing.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Maggie muttered while she was still chewing on her food and you turned your head to her. Even when you tried to appear normal, your eyes and entire face spoke volumes.

In your eyes the shine had been exchanged for fear and your rosy complexion was suddenly very pale. Your lips no longer radiated a smile but rather a straight line and the others could see that you were nervously chewing on the inner surfaces of your cheeks. "I don't know."

Your gaze went around you once more as your eyes focused on a man standing by a tree, looking at you. Amelia trailed your gaze and got stuck on the guy as well. Her fork fell into the lettuce she had in front of her and her jaw dropped down. "Oh no," she uttered and immediately turned back to her sisters. "Maggie, take Y/N to the hospital right now and don't leave her side. Hurry up."

The black haired one looked questioningly between all three before she got up and put her hands on your shoulders to pull you away from where you stood. However, you shrugged your shoulders away, your gaze not deviating from him. "Sweetheart, come on."

"No, I won't go." you stuttered, already noticing the fear in your trembling voice.

"Y/N, you are leaving now. Immediately." Meredith now interfered and looked at you urgently, but you didn't buckle. You were fed up with running away. "No. I won't hide every time and especially not in my own territory. I am not afraid of him anymore."

He pushed himself out of his position and walked slowly in your direction while your eyes kept turning down to his hands. He had clenched them in fists, the knuckled were already turning white and your heart was starting to beat faster and more irregularly.

It was like a trauma response when suddenly ever single moment in which he had hurt you shot through your head. It was like a bad movie that you couldn't quit and that you had to watch until the end.

"Maggie, we're going to need help in a minute. Get the security." commanded Amelia in a harsh tone as Meredith and her set off in front of you; like a kind of protective wall to create enough space between him and you.

She knew how aggressive he was and therefore she also knew that with her anger she had built up for him over all these months, she couldn't get very far and make it even worse. He was a muscular guy with more weight on his ribs than the three of you put together. If she reacted wrongly now, he would hurt you again. And she wanted to prevent that.

"What are you looking for here?"

"Calm down, I just want to talk to your sister." He replied to the brunettes question as he cocked his head to one side, looking at you grinning.

You weren't sure about your decision to stay here anymore. You stood there, huddled and trembling, your arms crossed under your chest, your gaze blurred from all the tears that were gathering in your eyes. "Go," you whispered and winced when he moved even a little to the side. "I said go. Get out of my damn life and fuck off!"

Not only were you amazed at your strength to show him the cold shoulder but also the two woman who stood in front of you.

The only one who wasn't convinced was your ex boyfriend. He bit his lip and his eyes filled with exactly the same anger as then. His face turned blood red and you could already see the steam fume from his ears.

"What did you bitch say?" he snapped before he wanted to pounce on you. You let out a scream and turned away, hiding behind Meredith while the two tried to keep him away from you.

You were already waiting for the blows and the rumbling, but when you heard his screams and scolding further and further in the distance, you opened your eyes to see how he was carried away by the security men and how Bailey, Maggie and Hunt were already standing around you.

Relieved you fell on the street floor and let your feelings run free. While the others were shielding you from the unwanted audience, Amelia had joined you.

Her arms wrapped around your entire shaking figure and her chin rested on your head. With soothing and gentle touches on your back she gave you the signal that it was all over; like she did every time you had a bad day. You were in trance, your ears didn't perceive any sounds from your surroundings and you had absolutely no control over your body.

You were trapped in this like a prisoner in your own soul.

You whined, you winced and flinched, you cried and you hit her unintentionally. But she stood firm and still held you tight in her arms, not even thinking for a second about letting go or leaving you alone.

Her heart burned with pain and her body struggled with the infinite anger she had.

It wasn't easy and it wouldn't be anytime soon, old wounds had been torn open again, which she had patched up with great effort. She had to hold back her tears to be strong for you, even if it tore her inside but she was proud of you.

[ftdtvogue]

Masterlist <3

εϊз requesting is open

εϊз taglist 

εϊз * means Smut

Celebs (more will be added soon)

εϊз  Harry Styles

Criminal Minds

εϊз Aaron Hotchner

Comforting Kisses

Mommy Kissed Santa!!

εϊз Emily Prentiss

My Baby 

εϊз Penelope Garcia 

εϊз Derek Morgan

εϊз Jennifer Jareau

εϊз Spencer Reid

εϊз Elle Greenway

Greys Anatomy

εϊз Meredith Grey

εϊз Lexie Grey

εϊз Mark Sloan

εϊз Derek Shepherd

εϊз Addison Montgomer 

εϊз Arizona Robbins

εϊз Alex Karev

εϊз Callie Torres 

εϊз Cristina Yang

εϊз Jackson Avery

εϊз April Kepner

εϊз Amelia Shepherd

εϊз Carina DeLuca

[arcturusreads]

still taking prompts? Ellis gets her tonsils out and she demands all the attention from the king of peds. Mer falls for him even more.

Tonsilitis - Merhayes

Sorry this took a while but I hope you enjoy! x

Three bouts of tonsilitis and tonsils now so big they were causing obstructive sleep apnoea was what had led young Ellis Grey into the hospital for surgery.

“My throat’s itchy, momma!” Ellis whined, clinging on to Meredith’s hand as they made their way into the hospital.

“I know, baby but we’re going to get it all sorted today. I promise.”

Ellis pouted, not happy that there wasn’t an immediate cure to her problem. The itchiness and discomfort had been bugging her for a few days and the frustration had made her burst into tears a few times. Meredith had known that Ellis wouldn’t have been able to have them out since most doctors wouldn’t have thought she had been infected “enough” times but when Ellis had woken up crying, calling out for her mum because she’d be struggling to breathe, Meredith knew that her daughter needed to get her tonsils out. The difficulty in breathing scared Meredith to no end.

After calling the hospital and assuring her kids that their little sister was going to be fine and they could visit her as soon as they finished school, Meredith and Ellis made their way to Grey-Sloan. Every cough and wince from her little girl broke Meredith’s heart. She couldn’t get her into the hospital quick enough.

“Momma, do I get to see Dr Mac?”

It wasn’t lost on Meredith that the past few times the kids had come to see her at work that Hayes always seemed to be around. Ellis was entranced by his accent, Bailey loving the fact that there was someone he could talk to soccer about and Zola had listened with earnestness to every story Cormac could tell her about Ireland.

“I’m not sure, sweetie. Dr Hayes is very busy and there might be other patients that he needs to see.” They stepped into the elevator and Meredith pressed the button to take them to the paediatrics ward.

Ellis thought for a moment before answering, “But momma, I thought I was going to be a patient?” she was slightly confused.

Meredith smiled down at her, swinging her joined hands. “You are but Dr Hayes but Dr Hayes is Chief of the department so he might have some very sick patients to see.” A tonsillectomy didn’t exactly require the Chief of Paediatric surgery but Meredith had to secretly admit that she hoped Cormac would be around to carry out the procedure. It wasn’t a major surgery but if her daughter was going under the knife, she needed someone she trusted to be holding the scalpel.

“Hmm…” Ellis still wasn’t too sure about the explanation.

When they finally made it to the ward, Meredith checked Ellis in at the nurses’ station and waited for the nurse to find her file.

“Excuse me!” Ellis grinned up at the nurse who smiled at her.

“Hi there, sweetie, is everything okay?”

She nodded vigorously, “Is Dr Mac working today?”

“Dr Mac?”

“Momma says he’s in charge here and he has a funny accent!”

Meredith didn’t know whether to laugh or to wince, “Sweetie, we don’t say that Dr Hayes has a funny accent.”

“Sorry momma,” she have Meredith a cheeky smile.

The nurse chuckled, “You’re looking for Dr Hayes? You’re in luck, he’s working today and I think he just got out of surgery.”

“Oh, we’ll be happy to see whoever free at the moment, won’t be, Ellis?” She looked down at her daughter who shook her head with conviction and a pout.

Giving Ellis a gently smile, the nurse whispered, “I’ll see what I can do for you, honey.”

The response was enough to melt Ellis’ pout into a grin. Once the nurse had pulled up Ellis’ file, Meredith led her into one of the examination rooms and lifted her onto the bed. Ellis kicked her legs back staying uncharacteristically quiet since her throat had begun to ache again.

They hadn’t waited for too long when there was a light tap on the door and Cormac popped his head around.

“Am I alright to come in?”

Ellis’ grin was so large, all her teeth were on show. “Dr Mac!” She squealed in delight before almost immediately wincing again.

“Baby, you’re gonna hurt yourself if you yell like that,” Meredith kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back.

Cormac fully entered the room, shutting the door behind him. “I heard that there was a little Miss Grey here asking to see me?”

Quietly giggling, Ellis was bouncing up and down as she nodded at him making Cormac chuckle.

“Hayes, you really don’t have to do this,” Meredith whispered knowing that Ellis wouldn’t be pleased if she sent him away.

“Nonsense, I have some free time in my schedule and I can’t keep away from this little cutie now, can I?” the comment ignited a fresh set of giggles from the youngest Grey-Shepard. “Now what seems to be the problem here?” Cormac pulled a stool over and sat down in front of Ellis.

“My throat hurt and it's itchy and my… my…” She looked up at Meredith trying to remember the word.

“Tonsils,” Meredith gently encouraged.

“Tonsils!” Ellis winced from the sudden yell and brought her voice back to a whisper. “Tonsils are big momma said.”

“Well, that’s just not going to do, is it?”

Cormac checked her tonsils before doing a quick swab to send to the lab. Whilst Meredith knew that he was just going his job, Meredith felt her stomach do backflips when she saw how gentle Cormac was being with her daughter, how he checked in on her with every step and made sure she wasn’t scared. The way he would crack a joke or make a funny face to take Ellis’ mind off the discomfort that she was feeling.

“No surprise but looks like you’re right, Grey. I need to send the swab off just to confirm but I’m going to book her surgery in for this morning if that’s alright. I’ve got some time so I can do it.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind doing the surgery?” She didn’t want to bother him if he had other surgeries going on.

Ellis huffed out a breath making both adults turn to her. “No surgery unless Dr Mac is there,” she demanded crossing her arms over her chest

Cormac held out his little finger to Ellis, “I pinky promise I’ll be the one doing your surgery.”

Ellis looped her pawn finger with his, “Okay then!”

Meredith’s heart fluttered seeing the scene. ‘Get a grip.’ She yelled to herself. The more control she tried to gain, the more her heart continued to fly with her stomach doing acrobatics.

***

Cormac’s schedule must have been fairly clear because it wasn’t long before Ellis was able to go in for surgery. Amelia had joined Meredith in the family area, knowing that Meredith would be going out of her mind with worry even though the procedure didn’t hold many risks. It was one that Cormac would be a seasoned pro at. Eventually, Meredith caught sight of a black scrub cap and immediately stood up. The smile on Cormac’s face eased her worries.

“She’s fine, Grey. Got them both out clean. She’s in recovery right now but it won’t be long before we move her back to her room.”

Meredith let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you so much for doing this.” She fought the urge not to hug him. ‘It was a routine surgery, Meredith. Anyone could have done it,” she forced herself to remember. Anyone could have done it and Cormac knew that but even as the Chief of Paeds, he still insisted on being the one to carry out the surgery and that was what Meredith couldn’t get out of her head.

Cormac shook his head, “You don’t need to thank me, Grey. Go on, head up to her room because I don’t think she’s going to be too happy if she wakes up and you aren’t there.”

***

When Ellis finally came around, she was all smiles. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around the room before she set eyes on her mum.

“Hi there, Ellie Belle.”

“Momma,” she croaked out slightly groggy. “All done?”

Meredith gave her hand a squeeze, “All done, brave girl.” She felt more at ease knowing that her daughter was awake and talking.

Ellis shifted over in her bed, asking Meredith to join her. “Can you tell me a story please?”

Stroking her little girl’s blonde hair, Meredith grabbed ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ from the side table. She’d gotten it ready knowing that Ellis would have wanted her to read something. They were midway through the story when Cormac walked into the room, hands in the pockets of his lab coat.

“Just wanted to check in to see how our little trooper was doing.” An easy smile was on his face and Meredith fought to tear her eyes away from him in case he caught her staring.

Immediately losing interest in the book, Elli gave Cormac all her attention. “Dr Mac thank you!” She held out both of her arms and Cormac walked over before hugging her.

“It was my pleasure,” the sincerity in his tone made Meredith melt a little.

“Will you finish the story please?” She took the book that now rested on the bed and held it out to Cormac.

Cormac arched an eyebrow and Meredith laughed, “I’m not sure whether I should be offended that my daughter doesn’t want me to read to her.”

Worried she’d upset her mother; Ellis threw her arms around Meredith and kissed her cheek. “I love you loads, momma but Dr Mac has an accent.” The novelty of the Irish accent wasn’t going to wear off anytime soon.

“I love you too, Ellie Belle but Dr Hayes might be a bit busy with other patients right now so he might not have the time to read to you. The other kids need him to help too.”

“Oh,” Ellis nodded in understanding. “Sorry, Dr Mac.”

Cormac shook her head, dragging the armchair over to the bed and gently taking the book from the little girl. “You’re in luck, I don’t have any other patients to see to right now, so I think I’m going to be able to finish reading this book to you.” He gave her a wink and looked at the book cover. “No way!”

“What?” Ellis was suddenly worried that Cormac didn’t like one of her favourite books.

“I love this story!”

“Really?”

Cormac nodded and the two of them launched into a conversation about their favourite parts. Meredith could have listened to the two of them talk all day. She loved seeing how intently Cormac would listen to everything Ellis had to say, never hurrying her or seeming annoyed at her constant babbling. He listened and he cared. The moment was cut short, however, when Meredith's stomach growled loudly.

“Momma, you’re the very hungry caterpillar!” Ellis quickly pointed out.

Embarrassed at her stomach picking that very moment to make an announcement, Meredith muttered a sorry to Cormac.

“How about you head down to the cafeteria and get yourself something to eat, Grey, whilst Ellis and I finish the book?”

She hesitated for a moment; it was no lie that she was starving having not had anything to eat since dinner last night. “I can’t just leave you here, you have work.”

Cormac waved off her arguments, “I think my department will survive, you might not if you don’t eat soon. So, go!”

Meredith looked down at her daughter, “Do you mind if momma goes to get something to eat?”

Ellis shook her head, “Nope, I’ve got Dr Mac.” Meredith was pretty sure Ellis wouldn’t even notice if she didn’t come back as long as Cormac was around.

Shuffling out of the bed, Meredith grabbed her handbag and kissed Ellis’ cheek, “Momma won’t be long.” But Ellis had already launched into a new conversation with Cormac.

She quickly grabbed a bagel and some coffee before heading back up to the room. Even though Cormac had said he had the time to read to Ellis, she didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness. She knew Ellis could be a little demanding at times and she didn’t want him to feel as though he was under any obligation to stick around.

As she walked back onto the paediatric floor, she looked through the window of Ellis’ room to see her daughter hysterically laughing at something Cormac had said.

“It’s really sweet of him,” the sound of a nurse’s voice behind her made Meredith jump.

“I’m sorry, what’s really sweet of who?” She was a little confused.

“Dr Hayes, him sticking around for so long after his shift.” There was a dreamy smile on the nurse’s face that caused a wave of jealousy to roll over Meredith but she quickly pushed that feeling aside.

“When did his shift finish?” She pressed.

The nurse looked down at her watch, “Probably around three hours ago now?”

Furrowing her brow, Meredith balanced the bagel and coffee in one hand as she pulled out her phone to look at the time. If Cormac’s shift had finished three hours ago then he should have been clocking off as she had come in with Ellis. As the nurse wandered off, Meredith looked through the window again, not fighting against the smile on her lips. Knowing that Cormac was willingly spending his free time with her daughter brought down every single defence mechanism that Meredith had had in place since Derek’s death. What was this man doing to her?

[loverdrew]

Just A Little Longer | s.r

(not my gif)

Synopsis: A day out on the field doesn’t go as planned, and Y/N is thrown into am ambulance to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital before anyone can help. 

A Grey’s Anatomy x Criminal Minds crossover.

Warnings: none (?)

There was a ringing in the air louder than the one you hear everyday. I felt my breathing hinder. My eyes can only open so wide, enough to see the light, but once by my side, could see only a dark substance quickly oozing out of my body. As I came to, I could tell it was getting harder and harder to breathe, a sharp pain with every inhale and exhale. Upon instinct, I checked my fingers for mobility, feeling that they could move slightly. At least this means I am not paralyzed in my upper body. There was no other noise for a few more minutes, just a slight rustling of trees and the dirt road beneath me. I don’t even remember the initial shot being taken, whether it was from me or him. All I remember is instantly falling to the floor once I arrived on the scene. I just laid in my own blood, the realization that no one may be coming for me.

“Y/N! Y/N! Wake up!” I could faintly hear from what felt like a mile away. My brain perked at the voice, definitively Morgan, but my body would not react. I tried with every might to move my limbs once again but alas, nothing. It was if my brain was screaming and sending pulses to my muscles but it just refused to move. I started to feel hands all over me, lifting me and placing me on what I could imagine was a gurney, as it moved. My sense of hearing coming in full force, beginning to hear people talking and shuffling. Hotch and Morgan were asking where I was being transported to and Emily and JJ consoling someone else who I could hear was practically sobbing. 

“They’re going to take care of her, c’mon let’s just go follow them now!” Emily yelled to everyone. But that distressed someone fought back.

“No! She’s not even moving! They’re intubating her! Emily she’s dying!” 

Spencer....? 

“Reid, you want to help her? Get out of here and go to the hospital.” Hotch firmly said, I could even tell he probably put his hands on Reid, as the sound of prominent footsteps were halted. And the next thing I heard was doors closing, and the sirens blaring.

Once we had arrived at the hospital, I heard a woman’s voice that sounded very strong, like she was in charge.

“What do we got?” She asked.

“GW to the left ribcage, she’s lost a lot of blood, almost 2 pints. We’ve been intubating her since we got to the scene but Bailey, it doesn’t look too good. Possible head contusion when she hit the floor as well.” The EMT stated.

“Alright I’ll page Shepard and Hunt immediately. Out of the way everybody! FBI agent coming through!” And my gurney started moving even faster, winding down a short hallway into a room where I could hear many doctors coming to look at my wounds. I felt absolutely helpless, not being able to communicate what hurts for me. What if they miss something? What if they can’t help me in time? The EMT said I lost a lot of blood, what if it’s too much to come back from?

“Hang 2 units of O neg now!” A man with a deep voice yelled out. I could feel big, callus hands turning me on my back, and the next thing I knew a needle was being shoved in my arm and a warm sensation filling my arm. 

“Owen she needs to go up to CT now or she’s not going to make it.” A woman with a softer voice spoke next to the man.

“Amelia she needs this wound patched first or she’ll bleed out and then she won’t even have a chance in CT.” He raised his voice at her, kind of like how Hotch can be sometimes.

“Let me see, I can patch quickly if everyone gives me space. Looks like the bullet left through the back as well.” This time it was another man with a softer voice than the first, and instantly felt his delicate hands holding onto my ribs, feeling a metal substance touching my skin. By my analysis, he’s most likely a plastics surgeon. Only a man in plastics has such delicate touch.

“Well hurry Jackson she’s got about 10 minutes before that brain contusion completely debilitates her and she’ll be in a coma.”

“Yea I got it.” He said nonchalant.

The sounds of beeping and shuffling were quickly interrupted by deep screams, of which belonged to the lanky pretty boy. My heart rate instantly got faster the second his voice entered the room.

“Sir, sir who are you?” The plastics guy asked urgently.

“I-I’m her, her uh- I’m just a friend, please let me be next to her.” He pleaded, rasp in his voice. I can tell he had been crying the whole ride over.

“Okay, sir you’re gonna have to wait with everybody else, she’s in a lot of distress and she’s lost a lot of blood. We’re doing everything we can for her.” Almost on cue, my heart monitor started spazzing. The loud beeping indicating I’m going into cardiac failure. 

“She’s in V-fib, get the defibrillator now!” The man with the lower voice yelled. I felt the clothing on my body being ripped open, a few buttons popping and flying off. The patches were on and in a few seconds, I felt the shock and I could feel it vibrate every vessel inside me. They cleared a second a time, my heart rate returning to normal.

“Okay Jackson you’re gonna have to finish her later she needs a head scan now.” The women voiced, and immediately I could feel the gurney being whisked and into an elevator, going up to the CT room.

Being in the big machine and hearing the slight “ZZZ” sound felt like the first time of peace since my brain fully woke up. For a few hours now I was being poked and prodded, not even getting a chance to hear my own thoughts. This was the only time I got to really savor whatever life I had left, to really hear and feel the people I love around me, and to prepare for what could happen. It felt inevitable to try and escape death, it was a part of my job. And the one regret I’d have is not being the real me with the person I loved most in this world. That tall, pretty, incredible genius was the love of my life for the past 3 years I’ve been with the BAU, and he was everything and more I could’ve ever dreamed of and better. I could physically feel my heart aching at the way his voice cracked yelling for me. I wished nothing more than to look him straight in the eye and hold his hands, telling him I’ll be okay. The way he stuttered when he said friend, so unsure. We had kissed just a few days ago, after a long day of work he came by my hotel room and finally expressed his feelings after so long. The fireworks we shared were something out of a book. The way his hands fit around my face, holding me so close and so softly as if I were glass and he was afraid to break it. We hadn’t talked about it since, but we figured we had more time. But now I realize time is never guaranteed. 

Within 30 minutes I was in a regular room, the plastics man working on sowing back up my wounds. “You, Ms.Y/N are one of the luckiest gunshot victims I’ve seen; no severe tears. Which means this just needs a quick stitch and you’ll be all set.” He said softly to me, I could feel a smile on his face as he spoke.

I heard another person walk into the room, footsteps almost so quiet. 

“H-How, how is she Dr.?” He was shaking.

“The CT showed some swelling but no internal bleeding. We’re going to keep her here overnight but I’m sorry, I don’t know if and when she’ll wake up. That’s all up to her.” The women sadly spoke, unsure of even her own diagnosis.

I heard Spencer start to cry again, a loud puff coming from deep in his chest.

“Dr. Reid, could you please sit with me.” The two of them stepped to sit in the 2 seats next to my bed.

“I know what it feels like to be in a field of study where, you know everything there is to know. And I also know what it feels like to be completely out of control in that field, when you know what to do, but you can’t even do it.” She sighed. “I am one of the best neurosurgeons in the country, I know almost everything...but yet I had a brother who died of a brain injury. I could’ve been there to help him but I couldn’t do a damn thing. I know what this feels like.” Reid started crying harder, his cries muffled by his own hands. He was trying so hard not to let the sounds leak from the room, but it did and it made my bones stand still.

“I had a mentor who was in a coma, and even though I’m in plastics”- (told y’all) -”there was still nothing I could do for him. We just had to wait. He was one of my greatest friends, one of the best people you’d ever meet, so loved. The love of his life died in front of his eyes and I think most of us knew he’d be going next, to be with her. Life was too painful without her. Do you love this girl right here?” Spencers respond came almost immediately.

“More than anybody or anything.”

“Then wait, just a little longer. If she loves you like you love her she’s going to fight to wake up and be alive.” Both of the doctors walked out, leaving me and my lover boy.

His veiny hands grabbed onto mine, rubbing softly at my knuckles.

“I’m gonna do what he said, just wait a little longer. But please Y/N, if you can hear me, come back to me.” He cried into my hand, the tears coating it.

As if the Gods granted it themselves, I moved my eyelids open. Very slowly, and it hurt to do so, but they opened. Spencer sensed movement, and his head instantly came up holding on tighter to my hand. A weak smile placed on my face as my tired eyes loving locked with his.

“Waiting for me?” 

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Do you take requests?

yes i do! feel free to request anything just make sure you check my guidelines first!

[kaimelia]

hey guys this is my first fic so pls no hate its amelia shepard x Meredith gray pls no hate

Meredith walked through the park one day, thinking to herself how lovely the birds looked. It had been a year since Derek had died, and she had not gotten over it. The memory of him haunted her every day.

“Derek would have loved this.” She spoke aloud as she watched a Cardinal build a nest in a tree. “His father mentioned his favorite team was the Cardinals, or something like that. Maybe it was the Blue Jays…”

She sighed and sat down on a bench, mulling over everything that had happened since he left.

--------------------

--------------------

"He misses you," Amelia answered. "I know he misses you."

"I know."

[thebloodychampion]

RANDOM SONGS FOR THE MUSES

Archer Hawke

“Someday” by Nickelback

Cyrion Hawke

“Desert Rose” by Sting

Dreag Hawke

“First Of The Of My Life” by Melanie C.

Lia Tabris

“Outrageous” by Britney Spears

Than Mahariel

“Rockstar” by Nickelback

Sethius Amladaris

“One More Cup Of Cofee” by Bob Dylan

Elgan Lavellan

“California Gurls” by Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg

Diran Lavellan

“When Love Takes Over” by David Guetta Feat. Kelly Rowland

Hjarrandr O Bearhold

“Preform This Way” by Weird Al Yankovic

Lucius Veridio

“Riders On The Storm” by The Doors

Etienne De Lechanger

“Sorry” by Daughtry

Nicolas Belmond

“So What” by Pink

Malcolm Hawke

“The Begining Of The End” by Nine Inch Nails

Tomey Surana

“What Goes Around Comes Around” by Justin Timberlake

Lyon Amell

“Memories” by Within Temptation

Solona Amell

“Ocean Soul” by Nightwish

Talar Adaar

“24 Hours” by Jam

Jarida Adaar

“Gotta Get Away” by The Offspring

Jerker

“Familiar Taste Of Poison” by Halestorm

Kieran

“Sugar Never Tasted So Good” by Muddy Waters

Eric Vanhallen

“Complicated” by Avril Lavigne

Ishal Cyprias

“Broken Bricks” by The White Stripes

Lorenzo Calacgnini

“Lollypop” by Mika

Armadiel Mahariel

“One Step Closer” by Linkin Park

Fergus Cousland

“Ka-ching” by Shania Twain

Irius Sparatus

“Always” by Salvia

Karnesh

“The Brave And The Bold” by Disturbed

Clavius Tarxis

“Guarded” by Disturbed

Renius Sparatus

“Superman (It’s Not Easy)” by Five For Fighting

Torana Sparatus

“My Skin” by Natalie Merchant

Jurdon Madadh

“Who Taught You How To Hate” by Disturbed

Ganar Drealav

“Vox Populi” by 30 Seconds To Mars

Raik Cagar

“Eat It” by Weird Al Yankovic

Haral Nyras

“Stronger” by Through Flames

Oswin Shepard

“Watching For Comets” by Skillet

Noah Shepard

“My Religion” by Skillet

Maron Hinom

“What If” by Creed

Shaela’Riel Vas Tonbay

“Believe” by Skillet

Lorik Qui’in

“New Divide” by Linkin Park

Marius Nyras

“Ugly Girl” by Weird Al Yankovic

Andrew Ryder

“Already Gone” by Kelly Clarkson

Tayus Draxas

“End Of All Hope” by Nightwish

Tachyus Nyras

“I’m Still Here” by Vertical Horizon

SAM

“Dangerous Kind” by The  Rasmus

Macen Barro

“Smells Like Nirvana” by Weird Al Yankovic

Yaora V’Loar

“Despicable Heroes” by Arch Enemy

Yandra Nyras

“Conflict” by Disturbed

Quentius Zuris

“The Revenge” by Russel Allen & Jorn Lande

Urdnot Wreav

“Genie In A Bottle” by Christina Aguilera

Adrien Victus

“Bitch” by Meredith Brooks

Ahnas Afaa Kjama

“Break The Ice” by Britney Spears

Steven Hackett

“The Power Of Goodbye” by Madonna

Septimus Oraka

“Oxygen” by Thousand Foot Krutch

Sidoria Arterius

“A Star Is Born” by Hercules OST

Iorveth

“Feel Good Inc.” by Gorillaz

Moony

“I Found A Way” by Alkaline Trio

Danny Fernandez

“Hear Me” by Kelly Clarkson

Belle Instance

“Alejandro” by Lady Gaga

Pamina Siemens

“Gaston” by Beauty And The Beast OST

Fenrir Greyback

“Criminal” by Britney Spears

Sharleen Siemens

“Elan” by Nightwish

Amelia Fernandez

“Bless The Child” by Nightwish

Eleasar Cohen

“Locking Up The Sun” by Poets Of The Fall

Ben Chaplin

“Battle Cry” by Skillet

Connor Montgomery

“Jump” by Simple Plan

Vortula Portocalos

“1000 Words” by Final Fantasy X-2 OST

Leslie Woodstock

“Apologize” by One Republic

Carlisle Eastwood

“Stricken” by Disturbed

Carolus

“I’m Only Happy When It Rains” by Garbage

Yarntar Loreian

“Kids” by Robbie Williams

[tabloidtoc]

OK, March 8

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Bruce Springsteen

Page 1: Big Pic -- as part of Coach's latest campaign Jennifer Lopez posed with a supersized pink version of their new Pillow Tabby purse

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Chris Harrison gone for good? The Bachelor host's future with the show remains uncertain after his controversial interview with Rachel Lindsay

Page 6: Since the start of his career Justin Timberlake has endured his fair share of scandals but after welcoming his second son with wife Jessica Biel over the summer and celebrating his 40th birthday, he is confessing that he feels immense guilt about the past and he won't be making the same mistakes in the future -- Justin's done some soul-searching and accepts that he's wronged a lot of people over the years with his own terrible mistakes and he says he's still a work in progress, but step one has been to stand up and admit he's hurt too many women -- in addition to a boozy night out with his Palmer costar Alisha Wainwright in 2019 and his part in the now-infamous Nipplegate incident with Janet Jackson at the 2004 Super Bowl, Justin recently came under fire again due to the documentary Framing Britney Spears which showed him exploiting his breakup from Britney Spears to help his solo career -- Justin's learned from his mistakes and has a lot more sensitivity about the impact of his actions on other people and that's the big difference between the Justin of today and his old, immature self and that self-awareness was evident in an emotional statement that he posted apologizing to both Britney and Janet for the errors in his ways -- his words drew praise from his wife Jessica who says he's come a long way as a husband, a father and more importantly, a human being

Page 7: Wendy Williams is on the prowl for a new man and he's got to be husband material and she is ready for a serious commitment -- Wendy's been staying up until all hours of the night checking out guys online and on exclusive dating apps and she wants someone age-appropriate, fun, kind, independent and of course has no history of cheating -- she's feeling very optimistic and even buying new perfume and clothes and jewelry for all the dates she hopes to have once lockdown lifts

* Texas native Matthew McConaughey is seriously considering throwing his hat in the ring to become the state's next governor -- he's been putting out feelers to see if he's got sufficient support and if enough donors are willing to write checks, he'd mount an aggressive run in 2022 -- he's already gotten the thumbs-up from his wife Camila Alves and their three kids -- at this point, he needs to see an actual path to winning because he's not interested in just making a protest statement; don't be fooled by his aw-shucks attitude, Matthew means business

* Now that Keeping Up With the Kardashians is coming to an end, the hunt is on for a new family to replace the clan and one reality pro is poised to nab the prize: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Rinna -- there's already been talk about Lisa picking up the torch and her family is camera ready, consisting of husband Harry Hamlin, and their daughters Delilah Hamlin who's dating Love Island's Eyal Booker and Amelia Hamlin who's dating Scott Disick

Page 8: Things keep going from bad to worse for Armie Hammer -- he was forced to drop out of his upcoming movie Shotgun Wedding with Jennifer Lopez after direct messages he allegedly sent to women in which he described himself as a cannibal and detailed disturbing sexual fantasies were leaked online -- Armie was also fired by his talent agency WME and now the disgraced star may get cut from his new film Next Goal Wins which has already been shot -- he's radioactive and everybody knows it and his completed but unreleased work is getting a second look as studios want to do damage control, and that includes another of his finished projects Death on the Nile where his part could end up on the cutting room floor -- he's a pariah now and it's hard to see how he's ever going to come back from this

* Jennifer Aniston has always had a spiritual side but these days she is taking things to a whole new plane -- Jen has surrounded herself with psychics and has been doing Goddess Circles with the same group of close friends for 30 years, but now she's taking courses to learn to heal herself and be her own guru -- BFF Courteney Cox has been a big influence and Jen's learned a lot from Courteney, who's had a long-term interest in mediums, astrologists and horoscopes, and she's trying to fuse it all together into her own brand of spirituality -- Jen's had a lot of time alone, which has only deepened her questions about the universe and how she can make the most of her life and she's determined to find the answers

* Princess Eugenie is over the moon after welcoming her first child, a baby boy with businessman husband Jack Brooksbank but now the new mom is torn about taking time out from her royal responsibilities -- Eugenie would love to take a long break from everything and focus solely on raising her son however she knows deep down how much she's needed, especially since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are showing no signs of coming back -- as she weighs her options, Eugenie is looking to her multi-tasking cousin-in-law Duchess Kate for some inspiration because she's impressed by how Kate is able to juggle her official duties while raising three young kids

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars captivate in enchanting puff-sleeve numbers -- Bel Powley, Aubrey Plaza, Lupita Nyong'o

Page 11: Kaitlyn Dever, Lucy Boynton, Margaret Qualley

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Hilary Swank vs. Madeline Brewer, Bella Hadid vs. Devon Windsor, Alison Brie vs. Dua Lipa

Page 14: News in Photos -- Tayshia Adams and her fiance Zac Clark felt on top of the world when the visited the Empire State Building together

Page 15: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were inseparable while out and about in Beverly Hills, Bill Murray and NFL player Larry Fitzgerald Jr. were among the many stars to shoot their shot during a charity golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Rita Ora performing on an episode of the U.K. show Dancing on Ice in Hertfordshire

Page 16: At the Australian Open Serena Williams came out on top during the fourth round, Bachelorette alum Jordan Kimball and fiancee Christina Creedon couldn't wait until they got home to enjoy Candy Pop popcorn's new Peanut M&M's flavor from Sam's Club in Houston, Heidi Montag spent the day hitting the slopes at Lake Tahoe

Page 17: Hailey Bieber starring in Beyonce's new Ivy Park x Adidas collection

Page 18: Brody Jenner had a blast snow tubing while shooting the second season of The Hills: New Beginnings in Lake Tahoe, Avril Lavigne stepped out with her new boyfriend Mod Sun for a romantic dinner in West Hollywood

Page 20: Justin Bieber looked like he'd just hopped out of bed in a sweater and checkered fleece pants in L.A., Robin Thicke in front of a piano in L.A.

Page 21: Steve Martin doubled up on face coverings on the set of his new project Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Michelle Obama on her new show Waffles + Michi, Cardi B spoiled herself with high-end goods during a day of shopping on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills

Page 22: Brooke Burke romancing with boyfriend Scott Rigsby on Valentine's Day, Lucy Hale accessorized her look with her newest rescue pup Ethel in L.A., Jessica Lange and Susan Sarandon masked up for a snowy outing in NYC

Page 24: For Galentine's Day Vanessa Lachey snacked on macarons and sipped on wine in L.A.

Page 25: Bella Hadid alongside models Mayowa Nicholas and Heejung Park in Michael Kors' new campaign for the Spring 2021 collection, Hugh Grant stepped out for some fresh hair in London, Sofia Vergara kept it casual during a visit to a pal's house in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Inside My Home -- Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley's Rocky Mountain retreat

Page 28: Marriage isn't easy especially during a global health crisis but for Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard divorce is not an option -- Kristen said she and Dax at the start of the pandemic were at a point in their marriage where they definitely needed a little therapy brush-up and every couple of years they're being very antagonistic towards each other and they don't want that so they go back to therapy and figure out how they can serve their team goal better and it's been incredibly helpful and even in the toughest times they always have each other's back and they're committed to being each other's biggest support systems -- while their relationship may never be perfect, they're happy and love each other and that's what matters most

Page 29: Now that Tom Brady has won his seventh Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he has set his sights on the next prize: baby No. 3 with wife Gisele Bundchen -- they've been telling friends they hope to make an announcement by summer at the latest and Tom and Gisele have been super loved-up since leaving Boston and moving to Florida after the QB signed on with the Bucs and the change of scenery has worked wonders on their love life and put them in baby-making mode -- the duo, who recently bought a $17 million spread on Miami's exclusive Indian Creek Island, plan to build a luxury mansion there complete with a nursery and they hope to be all settled in when the new arrival comes -- they've never felt healthier or been happier

* Aaron Rodgers looked positively giddy when he revealed he had a fiancee, Shailene Woodley at the NFL Honors, but the QB is dreading the next step: bringing her home to meet his parents because it's no secret that Aaron's been estranged from them for years and the last thing he wants is for Shailene to get caught up in the drama -- Shailene wants Aaron to clear the air with his folks, but he's not ready to do that and he doesn't want to bring Shailene into a toxic environment

* It's only been two years since Miranda Lambert married Brendan McLoughlin but she's already itching for some alone time -- she's headed to Texas in April for her first concert in over a year and she's told Brendan he shouldn't come because it will be all work and no play but she really wants to get away from him for a while and after the pair's recent road trip together, Miranda is desperate for some space -- sometimes Miranda feels like she's living with a baby because Brendan whines and complains about life on her farm

Page 30: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's romance is heating up fast, so much so that she's practically handed over the keys to her Calabasas estate and she loves having Travis sleep over and sometimes he'll stay the whole weekend -- he gets along famously with her children and Travis has been a friend of the family for years, so the kids have pretty much known him their whole lives and they'll do fun stuff together like hiking or playing video games and Travis loves making breakfast and showing off his pancake-flipping skills --Travis is spending so much time at Kourt's place that he's moved a bunch of his stuff in to make it easier for his kids Landon and Alabama with ex Shanna Moakler to visit him there -- everyone's convinced they'll be living together full-time before you know it

* Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were met with a flurry of well-wishes after they revealed they're expecting baby No. 2 -- the couple decided to wait until Meghan was safely into her second trimester to share the news and they only told a handful of family members before the public and they wanted to cherish this secret for as long as they could -- Harry and Meghan have been nesting at their Montecito mansion and have been busy prepping the nursery and making sure it's eco-friendly with energy-efficient lighting and they're keeping it as plastic-free as possible

* Love Bites -- Clare Crawley and Dale Moss reunited, Kit Harington and Rose Leslie welcomed a baby boy, Paris Hilton and Carter Reum engaged

Page 32: Cover Story -- Bruce Springsteen's private world -- he's an open book in his songs, but here's Bruce's untold story of his struggles with depression and regret -- he still has dark thoughts from time to time but therapy and medication have helped a great deal

Page 36: Stars' Cheating Confessions -- sometimes all you can do is beg for forgiveness; these celebs have all had to plead their case -- Donny and Debbie Osmond, Jude Law and Sienna Miller, Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith

Page 37: David Letterman and Regina Lasko, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, Kevin Hart and Eniko Parrish

Page 40: Interview -- Elizabeth Olsen -- the Avengers star dishes about getting witchy again for Marvel's mind-bending WandaVision

Page 42: Golden Girls -- how these Golden Globes nominees get their award-worthy figures -- Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicole Kidman, Lily Collins

Page 43: Kaley Cuoco, Michelle Pfeiffer, Amanda Seyfried

Page 44: Aadila Dosani's vegan recipe for Chickpea and Potato Soup

Page 46: Style Week -- Ashley Graham is the new global brand ambassador for self-tanning label St. Tropez

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- create a naturally gorgeous, flushed look with fashion designer Jason Wu's namesake makeup collection

Page 49: Haute hippie retro jeans -- take a trip back to the '70s with Revice Denim's ultra-cool capsule, Los Angeles Lovers -- Delilah Belle Hamlin

Page 50: Flower Power -- floral prints are spring's hottest trend -- rock the pretty blooms for a fresh, boho-chic look -- Kaia Gerber

Page 52: DIY Blowout -- these foolproof finds deliver impeccable hair right at home -- Drew Barrymore

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A with Mary Fitzgerald of Selling Sunset

Page 58: Buzz -- after months of playing it coy, these celebs confirmed their relationships on Valentine's Day -- Scott Disick and Amelia Hamlin

Page 59: Vanessa Hudgens and Cole Tucker, Sharna Burgess and Brian Austin Green, Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker, Kendall Jenner and Devin Booker

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Halsey on not conforming to conventional beauty standards, Anderson Cooper on coparenting with his ex, Ashley Graham on the importance of self-care, Kate Winslet on feeling like a fish out of water in Hollywood

Page 61: Tom Holland on the plot of the next Spider-Man flick, Mila Kunis joking about keeping her family entertained during quarantine, Drew Barrymore when asked if she's ever been skinny-dipping, Madelaine Petsch on playing a teen in Clare at 16

Page 62: Horoscope -- Pisces Lupita Nyong'o turned 38 on March 1

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Riz Ahmed

[omgkalyppso]

Tell me about "this nonsense"

this nonsense

It’s an (abandoned?) Mass Effect fic. Shoker: Shepard x Joker. From back when I was on the B*oware Social Network and in the community Snap Crackle Pop (a play on Joker’s brittle bone disease) from before Mass Effect 3 released. I included it because some friends are hype about the mass effect legendary edition. I’m not particularly right now, but I can see their passion MAYBE encouraging me to finish some old projects.

The wip is 5,324 words long. Here’s a more manageable excerpt from after the crew is taken and we’re on our way to the collector base. Please bare in mind this was written before EDI was more established as a person (even though that was mishandled also):

Ashley was off somewhere hating her for getting saddled with Cerberus. She wished she could’ve found the courage to agree with the girl about how the organization might be abusing her or about how she did actually feel as if she owed them something for bringing her back. Shepard couldn’t comprehend why that would be so unforgivable. She paid her debts, so long as she regulated her own integrity. Ashley wasn’t Shepard’s only relationship that had once been which was strained or non-existent … but out of all of them, Joker’s was accessible.

They used to have such serious conversations on the SR-1. He had trusted her then more deeply, it seemed. Since she’d awoken, mostly anything he’d said to her which was not related to duty was small talk about the crew. What she was about to do would not re-establish his faith in her, but Shepard was beyond caring. She wanted to be greedy, she hoped for understanding, she worried about disgusting him, and she needed him to know. The silence dragged as stars whipped by overhead, the view was beautiful, both in and outside the cabin.

“So, what is it, Commander?” asked Joker, all innocence and ignorance.

She couldn’t help it, “Why are you on a first name basis with the ship?”

“Jealo-” Joker began to tease, but Shepard interrupted firmly.

“Well yes!”

She was breathing harder than she should’ve been. Her heart was fluttering like that of a school girl, but the worst was the heat in her face; she must be so red. What she said had been too serious: now Joker was silent too. EDI spoke.

“You needn’t be, Commander. What Jeff and I are exhibiting is more a platonic symbiosis than hormonally-induced courtship behavior.”

Joker cringed at the AI before looking to Shepard. “Okay, that was creepy,” he admonished, before objecting, “but you’re not on a first name basis with anyone.”

That was the wrong thing to say, both on her part and in regards to what she wanted to hear. Shepard nodded and put a hand to the side of her face, wrapping the other around her stomach. “No,” she agreed, “no you’re right, I’m not. I’d just … like to know I’m more than my title, to you.”

A spark of interest flickered deep in the back of Joker’s eyes and he turned to the AI, as he moved to stand, and Shepard held a hand to her mouth, worrying unnecessarily as he took to his feet. “EDI, could you-?”

“I know, Jeff,” she answered before the blue sphere flickered away.

He moved to sit next to her, staring at her knees. “Would you like me to hold you … Amelia?”