#and I also learned that I'm a little dumb uwu

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.

My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.

I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.

This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:

1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts

On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]

This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.

The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.

And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.

It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.

2. THE GIRL

Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.

She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.

She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.

So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.

She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.

Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.

(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)

So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.

Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.

3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?

Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?

Yep.

Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.

For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.

That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)

A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.

I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.

How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!

(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)

4. The multicultural extravaganza!

1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.

By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.

Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!

Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except … honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.

It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.

Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.

...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.

5. A wonderful horrible protagonist

A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)

Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.

This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.

Like so.

For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?

As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.

(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)

This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.

Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.

sidebar: A word about the ending

I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.

Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.

I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!

But no, that's it. That's all, folks.

It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.

As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)

I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.

And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.

Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.

Smash it, baby.

Still want to see some of these mysteries?

Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!

It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.

Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730572795212398592/what-is-up-with-all-the-trans-men-on-this-hellsite?source=share

As a trans man, I might have some insight into this one. I'm a lot older than the standard uwu sparkle anti, but I was in my mid twenties for the first wave of weirdness about trans boys on Tumblr about a decade ago, so I was just too old for it then, and I saw a lot of guys my age and a little younger get swept up in it.

OTNF rightly points out that young trans men are a particularily vulnerable demographic. This is part of it, but we're also a demographic that doesn't sit comfortably with our identites (gender identities or otherwise) and are told by everyone (on every side) that we are Doing It Wrong, that our existence harms others, and that we must be this specific way to be good people.

I'm sure you've seen the "trans men are better than real cis men" rhetoric. It's meant to be inclusive and to reassure us that we're not bad people just because of our gender, but it also denies us our entire gender identity.

So basically, you've got a bunch of young guys, most of whom were socialised like girls and learned to never be too assertive, many of whom are straight up suffering from dysphoria and stress, being told by people both within and outside of their communities that the are Wrong and Bad and Harmful just for existing. It makes sense that a lot of them would would find a movement based on moral posturing that will accept them if they perform correctly and will use their real name and pronouns. That's what Antis are; they say "use this vocabulary, send hate mail to that person, put these terms in your DNI, don't be caught reading that story", and, unlike other groups that police people's tastes and performance that hard, they're not overtly hostile to trans identities. So you can spout the right rhetoric, use the right tumblr icon, and they will actually accept you (on the surface, for a time, but we're talking about young and desperate people who aren't looking at the long game).

Helping them harass those badwrong horrible NOTP shippers or aces or middle aged women or some random artist who got caught drawing the wrong age gap or whoever is the fashionable target will prove that you aren't a horrible monster for being a man, you're moral and upright and correct.

And yes a lot of it is internalised misandry (that word has a lot of dumb baggage, but how else can I describe a boy who hates himself for being a boy?), or self-loathing born of dysphoria and just plain having to live in a world that's hostile to trans people.

Being an anti is a way out. It's a way to manufacture acceptence. And they're too young and too hurt to realise that that acceptance is as temporary and hostile as the people who accept them only if they pretend to be girls; the antis will turn on them the moment they start acting a little too manly or if they're caught liking the wrong ship.

(I've seen something similar happen to young cis queer guys and trans girls, too, but it isn't as pronounced since being raised as a boy means you probably already learned that standing up for yourself is ok sometimes)

--

I'm sure it also doesn't help that tumblr is absolutely full of BL/slash fandom. There's certainly plenty of gender diversity in these spaces, but it's inescapable that the majority of participants are women. So for a young, insecure guy trying to assert that he is a guy, it's easy to fall prey to "Waaaah, I need to reclaim my hobby for me!" gatekeepy nonsense.

Sure, it's going to be turned on nbs even harder than on cis women and will be used to misgender other trans men in the end and misogyny isn't cool anyway, but that's not what your average traumatized young fool is thinking when they first join up. They're thinking "I hurt."

TBH, though, probably the largest component is that all of us—all of us—have a mental image of a default human for a given context. It's rarely a trans man. And so anything a trans man does stands out and is A Thing Trans Men Do.

This is true even if you are trans. It is true even if you are not a transphobic dickhead. Unlearning the 'why girls are bad at math' xkcd strip is extraordinarily hard because recognizing patterns and having mental defaults is just how human brains work.

There are shittons of cis women who become antis, but they're just not notable in the same way.

Are trans men more vulnerable to becoming antis? It's possible, and the reasons you outlined above are likely why. I think it's an interesting question to discuss if we are specifically discussing why the trans men who do become antis do so.

But we don't actually have any hard facts to support that they are more prone to it than anybody else. My guess would be that vulnerable people are more likely to become antis, so any cis woman with a strong source of vulnerability like a shittastic home life is similarly vulnerable to a young trans man with no support network, but who knows.

Maybe only 5% of trans men on tumblr are antis and 50% of cis women. Maybe it's 90% of trans men and 20% of cis women. Maybe it's 1% and 1% and they're just all very loud.

We have no data. We just don't know.

And we will never be able to trust our own brains on this until trans vs. cis is such a nonissue that we don't even notice it.

[seneitut]

“Gentleness”

[Part 1] [Part 2]

[Yoru/Healer!Reader]

Words: 6K

Tags: Mentions of anxiouness, bantering, technicality of the game and map Haven, fluff, blood.

[This was long overdue!!!! It took me a long while but here is the first part! Second part coming tomorrow or in a couple of days! It also has drawings uwu Hope you like em!]

Resquested by: @oyasumimosura !!

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Breathing in, breathing out. 

Those are the words you've been repeating in your head for the past couple of minutes, trying to focus your sole attention on breathing instead of the anxiousness wanting to consume you. 

Opening your eyes, you gaze upon your reflection in the mirror with a nervous expression painting your features. 

The eye bags under your eyes are a telltale of the poor night's sleep you've gotten, and you hope no one looks closely to you to ask about it. There is nothing you can do to mask your exhaustion and the way you look, so you bear with it, avoiding the mirror and turning to stare at your unmade bed instead.

The tremble in your hands is manageable, you think, and so is the ability to mask your stress. But not even planning out your interactions nor replies to questions that haven't been asked yet, or never, is enough to relax you.

“Hey, you alright in there?” 

The voice of Sage is accompanied by soft knocking outside your door. The concern in her voice is palpable, since you haven't showed up yet and your reunion was due almost fifteen minutes ago.

“Y-yeah! Just, um, fixing my clothes.” You reply awkwardly, giving thumbs up to the closed door and immediately absconding your hands when you realize the dumb action. Sage doesn't need to know that. “I-I'm sorry for the lateness, I'll be going in a second…or several…”

There is silence for a moment, and you worry you may have upset her for being irresponsible.

Then, she speaks again, “Mind if I join you for a little bit?”

Weighting the pros and cons, you don't let your brain finish that train of thought and act upon your want.

Opening the door is a lot less anti-climatic than you initially thought. Instead, relief floods your system as soon as Sage steps in and takes your hands into hers, caressing the skin softly with a gentle expression on her features.

“I'm here.” she mutters, leading you to the bed. “Let's breathe together, alright?”

“I've been doing that.” is your reply. She smiles.

“Good, that's good.” Her hand never stops holding yours. “Do it once more with me, indulge me?”

You nod, following her instructions until your heartbeat pumps to a steady rhythm.

The breathing sessions for your anxiety is something you haven't done together in a long while. Maybe since she left China to pursue a more fulfilling life, leaving behind many friends and family who missed her dearly, and for you to learn to live without her by your side.

The thought that you've been reunited, even under not a joyful situation, is enough to make you smile and forget about what will cement your life from now on in a couple of minutes. Having her here, holding your hands and gently massaging the skin gives you a wave of nostalgia that you cannot help but tear up a little bit.

“What's wrong?” She asks, a frown between her brows. 

“I'm just…overwhelmed, I think.” Sniffing back some tears, you give her the best smile you can offer, but it falters under so much pressure. “It’s been so long since I’ve had you by my side. And I’m so worried about what is going to happen once I step out of this room because I don’t know if I’m going to be enough for the team nor don’t know if my qualities will fit and, what if I get killed? What if I get my teammates killed? What then?”

“Hey, hey, calm down.” She manages to have your attention, cutting your rambling off. The tears that were welling up have cleared up by now, which gives Sage a sense of comfort and one less thing to worry about. “You won’t mess things up, I have full trust in you and your judgment, it’s why I brought you here.”

“But-”

“No, dear, stop there.” Sage stands up, pulling you alongside her. “You’re gonna be okay, I will make sure of it. Do you trust me?”

You nod, “Of course I do!” 

“Then believe in my words. Everything is going to be okay.”

And you do. You trust Sage's words and follow after her without any doubt clouding your mind, but nervousness.

If she says you will be okay, you believe it.

—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—

The meeting you have is brief and to the point.

Sage introduces you to Brimstone, the one who founded Valorant and the one in charge to recruit agents to their lines to protect their world from radiants who come from another dimension.

The thing about having mirrors of themselves and having to fight them till death doesn't come as a surprise; rather new knowledge acquired and something to investigate for future reference, fascinated by such a thing.

Besides Brimstone there is another agent, Viper, who seems to be part of the lead in the protocol alongside Sage. She is sharp with her words and straightforward with her expectations, upfront with what she wants you to bring to the team and communicate what's needed.

All three, despite their differences in personalities, welcome you to what's going to be your home for the next years to come.

“We need you to train constantly,” is what Brimstone asks of you. “To have discipline and focus on missions. Besides our utility, having to learn self-defense and the usage of guns is important when we are deployed to prevent catastrophes.”

Vipes joins in the conversation, “Sage has mentioned you both have trained for a long time before all this disaster. I'm expecting nothing but the same skills and more from you.”

Gulping, you nod, “Of course.”

Sage glances at you from the other side of the room, spectating the conversation unfolding, and ready to chime in if necessary to help you out.

“Good.” Viper stands up from her chair after a couple of seconds, gathering her folders and hands you a sort of phone. “First mission assigned will be tomorrow. Ask Killjoy or Cypher for blueprints and get to know your teammates and their abilities before being deployed.”

The device is rectangle and the size of a cell phone, with the screen showing your name and a code to access it. 

“Configure this as you'd prefer, the agents use this to organize and contact each other when we are sent on missions.” Viper dials a password and the screen lights up in a soft glow to show folders and a message chat box. “Set a password to your liking and bring it with you if necessary.”

Eyeing the device, you breathe out your nervousness before directing her a smile, “Thank you.” 

“That will be it.”

Viper excuses herself after that, leaving the room swiftly with Brimstone following after her to discuss some matters. 

Is not after several seconds glancing between the door to where Sage was standing that you finally crumble under the pressure and groan in despair.

“Who the fuck is Killjoy? Or Cypher, for that matter? How am I supposed to configure this to my liking if this is work related?” You begin. “I don't even know my other teammates, how am I supposed to know their abilities and learn about them in such short notice?!”

Turning to Sage, your panic heightnes, “It hasn't been ten minutes and I'm already fucking things up!”

Sage huffs in exasperation, approaching you with a grin and ignoring your stare and pout, “Unlock the device, dear. Go directly to the first folder it shows, there are basic profiles with pictures and names of the other agents.” When you do as asked, she scrolls through the multiple faces staring at you, “You don't have to learn all their names at once, it takes time to become acquainted with most of them outside missions and the base is really big for everyone to be at one place.”

“B-but how will I know which one of them is assigned on the same mission as I do?” You are becoming rapidly anxious, hands trembling and completely out of the character you introduced yourself to Brimstone and Viper.

Sage caresses your back softly, “Once we ask Killjoy for the blueprints, we can ask her to lend us the name of the agents on the team.”

You nod, exhaling a big puff of air from the nervousness. 

Opening the device, you scroll through the list until you land on the name of Killjoy. The face of a woman in black hair and bright colored clothes greets you, and is for certain you won’t be able to miss her out if you were to encounter her.

“We can look for her together, if you wish?” Sage asks, grinning softly. 

“Please?”

With her reassurance and the knowledge of Killjoy's appearance, you exit the meeting's room with idle chatting to keep your mind occupied.

Sage is kind enough to start explaining Killjoy's abilities to fill in the silence. From her techwear and brilliant brain, she is one of the top techs inside the protocol alongside Cypher who have been able to develop technology not a simple human mind would understand.

All Killjoy is able to do sounds from a futuristic world, repairing and creating with the mere tools the earth provides her.

“She created the devices, programmed the security information with Cypher's help, and repaired one of the agents on our side.”

Cocking your head to the side, you ask, “Repair as in, fixed? Operated a limb or something like that?”

Sage giggles, “No, dear, she literally repaired an agent, from scratch and missing parts. A robot, if you may.”

When you cross the threshold of the practice range, you finally understand what she meant.

“A sentient robot?!”

Behind the closed doors, you see in amazement a robot-like-human fight alongside a couple of agents against another…robot? Firing bullets non-stop and jumping from side to side to avoid the agent's offensive stance.

“Killjoy seems to be training as well.” She muses. 

You watch in silence the fight unfold, analyzing their work and action while they mesh their abilities together to defeat the common enemy. Is amazing how flawless and swiftly they move across the battlefield to look for cover or simply repositioning to counterattack.

“Found you.” 

Brimstone's voice startles you, turning around to watch him enter the room with his eyes set on what's going on behind the glass.

“We need to leave in a few minutes; Breeze and Split.” He announces. Sage nods, pointing to the range.

“Got some people on here to join in.” 

He surveys the people inside, scratching his bear in contempt before sighing, defeated.

“Tell Raze to sit this one out and bring Astra, it is time to ruin the party for these youngsters.” Brimstone motions behind you, “Yoru, you're coming with them to Split, be there in fifteen.”

You hear a scoff, “Of course you need me.”

Turning around, you see a man sitting at the edge of the glass toying with kingdom credits at the palm of his hand. He's covered from head to toe in blue themed clothes, which you find funny for someone who looks as gloomy as he does.

Is it not after you're finished eyeing him do you realize he's been doing the same to you and scoffs again, as if offended, when your eyes cross paths.

Feeling self-conscious, you avoid him entirely for the rest of Sage and Brimstone's conversation.

“I'll be leaving now, Killjoy is coming with us too.” Sage points at the other side of the room, spotting a person playing chess by themselves and wearing some set of interesting clothing. “That's Cypher, you can talk to him about the blueprints, he is a kind man, but be careful of entertaining him with your personal information.”

“Huh?” 

Sage whispers in your ear, “He has eyes everywhere, be careful.”

Bidding goodbye to Sage proves to be harder than you anticipated, anxiousness starting to consume you the moment she leaves your side at a place you have no guidance nor idea how to navigate by yourself just yet.

The moment of truth comes now, you think, when you turn around and begin walking towards Cypher. He has not spotted you yet, continuing with his game in silence, and it gives you time to think about how to approach in conversation. 

So deep in thought, you collide against a surface so hard you have to take two steps back to steady yourself. When you raise your eyes, you meet Yoru's jet-black eyes staring you down with annoyance written on his expression.

“Move away, little shit.” 

Yoru pushes you away and enters the range, not glancing back for a second and makes his way to the group gathering at the center.

When the door closes, you hear a man chuckle deeply. 

“Say now, first day and causing trouble?” Cypher turns his head, a gloved hand toying with a coin. The blue of his masked and robotic eyes are eerie, it makes you uncomfortable, “Mind if we play a game?”

“Cypher, right?” you ask. He nods at the chess board.

“Glad to make acquaintances.”

Sitting in front of him, you watch him rearrange the pieces to start over a new game. He barely glances at you when he rotates the board for you to start first, waving his hand in presentation.

“Go on, let’s see what you’re made of.”

The first few moves none of you say anything, concentrating on the game rather than the task you’ve been asked to do. Is refreshing though, having something else to focus on. 

You’re partly thankful to Cypher for not obligating you to talk, humming to himself and enjoying the game in his own  way. His moves are very calculating and thoughtful, watching under scrutinized robotic eyes your movements and choices before making one for himself.

Is not until he has you on a chokehold that he leans on his chair, crossing his arms, that he decides to speak for the first time, “You are very patient, little one.”

“Hm?” Looking up, you smile nervously at him, “Isn't this game about that?”

Chuckling, Cypher moves his king and switches places with his rook, “Most of it, yes, of course. But this game is more about analyzing your enemy rather than being patient in making your moves.”

You move a pawn, Cypher kills it with his knight. Deciding to sacrifice the queen for a play, you kill one of his bishops.

“Check.” 

Cypher hums, thrumming his fingers on the table.

“Interesting.” 

He moves his king further away, you cock your eyebrow in questioning but don't say anything. Returning your queen to the previous positioning, you begin considering your next moves when suddenly, Cypher moves his knight an inch closer to your king. 

“Check.”

Huffing under your breath, you move your king, but by the time you notice what you've done, is already too late.

Cypher laughs, moving his rook to kill your king in one swift move, “Check mate.”

Your pouting elicits another laugh from the sentinel, toying with a coin between his fingers.

“You see, you would have won that if you were a little more observing.” he says, closing the chessboard and putting the pieces away. “My moves were easily readable, and my intentions clear. You had the upper hand when it comes to quantity in pieces but didn’t use it to your advantage.”

“I didn’t want to use it and lose them.” is your answer. “Didn’t even notice the position of your pieces, only the king.”

Cypher hums, nodding alongside your words, “Interesting, why is that?”

Flabbergasted at his question, you raise a brow, “What do you mean why? Isn’t that the whole point of the game?”

“Of course, the whole point is to corner the king, right? But why do you have more pieces at play if you aren’t gonna use them to fulfill the goal?”

Cypher leans in, tipping his hat back and squinting his blur orbs, “This game is about sacrificing things intelligently to obtain what you need.”

“Isn't sacrificing an odd word to use on a chess game?” you are at a loss to what he's trying to say.

“It applies to evertything, anything!” he smiles under his mask, but you are unable to see it. “Say, are you ready to do that on the battlefield? To sacrifice people to destroy the enemy?”

Frowning deeply, you begin to question the real intentions Cypher had when inviting you to this game. All you wanted was for some information regarding your mission tomorrow, not for some psychological reading from someone who you just met.

He seems pensive and awaiting, crossing his fingers and relaxing against his chair. Gulping down, you decide you don’t want to talk about this matter and rather ask for what you came in the first place.

“Sage told me you might know about my mission tomorrow and who are those assigned,” tugging at the ring in your index finger, you distract yourself to avoid looking him in the eyes. “Do you mind giving me the information?”

It takes him a while to answer you, eerie seconds where Sage's absence feels like a sore thumb and you start doubting your place at the protocol. 

When Cypher laughs, as if you've told a funny joke, it doesn't help with your anxiousness nor quell it. He doesn't seem bothered by your reaction, either, it almost looks like it fuels him to keep teasing you to his liking.

“Haven, China.” He replies, “Viper, Skye, Phoenix and Yoru.”

“I know Viper, I don't know the other three.”

“Better time to start learning then,” he says, “Get well known with the place, too, since is going to be quite the hastle.”

Blinking owlishly, you turn on your device to look for the names of the agents mentioned, scrolling through the list until you land on Phoenix and Skye, the ones you haven't met yet, and Yoru, the recent addition to your I'm scared of them list. 

To think you will have to team up with these menacing looking people has you trembling with fear. And to top it off, Sage won't be able to help you out if you were to have doubts, so this will be all you.

“When I asked you earlier if you were ready to sacrifice people for the sake of the goal, it wasn't just to poke fun or annoy you,” Cypher stands from the chair, tucking the chessboard under his arm. “Your teammates are ready to put you on the line if it means the enemy won't steal the radianite. You have to be willing to do the same.”

“My goal is for no one to perish on the mission.” you admit, mouth tugging into a frown. “I won't play with that mindset.”

He shrugs, “Suit yourself. But think about what I'm saying. There will be a moment where you will hesitate between a sacrifice that will help you, or die being foolish.”

Walking away, he bids you goodbye, “I wish you the best of luck on your first mission. I hope you don't die.”

With the bitter farewell and an unsettling feeling starting to bloom in your chest, you are left alone with your turbulent thoughts and a bad taste in your mouth.

Sage isn't there for when you break down.

x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x

The trip to Haven takes longer than expected.

It’s located near the mountains in China, close to most monk temples surrounding the green area and hiding from the biggest cities. 

When you first heard about its whereabouts and the chaos that ensued when the omega agents tried to attack it, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Horrified was a short term for what you felt when they showed the images of what was left of the ruins and what Kingdom had tried to do to extract the radianite and, later on, the omega agents.

Maybe this is the reason you were assigned to this mission; to face the atrocities the counterparts have done and want to do, and for you to protect a place that was once dear to your people.

Phoenix has sensed your apprehension when meeting them for the first time, and now he is witness to how much this first task was toiling on you. And to ease your worries and try to distract you, he’s been chatting with you since the moment you stepped on the jet, making silly jokes or bringing up different topics to keep your mind occupied.

Sadly, it seemed nothing was working, so perhaps it was better to take down the doubts from its roots.

“Seriously, girlie, by the time you have to rotate to any site, we will be done and ready to pack up and go home.” He places his hand on your shoulder, squeezing softly, but firmly. “You don't have to worry, alright?”

“Y-yeah, sure.” 

“Besides, you've got a team with the best agents at the protocol; we got you covered, aight?” 

Believing Phoenix's words is hard, but you nod anyway, thankful for his attempt to make you feel better and his constant reassurance. 

The hand that soothes your back and his warm smile is enough to calm your nerves, returning the kind smile and simply breathing to keep you steady.

From the other side of the jet, Yoru grimaces at your heartfelt conversation, finding it pointless and somewhat cheesy to try and comfort a soldier who is about to face a war they are obviously not ready for. 

Not his place to intervene, in truth, but he hopes you won't ruin this mission for any of them. It would be a pain in the ass to drag your dead body back to the headquarters and have to explain this to Sage.

“Relax that frown, mate, we haven't engaged in combat yet.” 

Skye stands next to him, a playful smile on her lips and crossing her arms. He only huffs, annoyed to be interrupted but fine enough to be talking to her.

“The newbie will probably stall us, why assign her to us?” he asks. Skye raises a brow. “We can probably bring Killjoy's turret and that thing might do more for the team than her.”

“Hey now, you are just being rude for no reason.” She chastises. “Besides, that’s a big one coming from someone who flashed the rest of his teammates on their first mission.”

Blushing, Yoru turns his head to the other side, grunting unpleasantly. “Is not my fault you don’t know how to avoid flashes.”

“Oh yeah?” Skye whistles, catching Phoenix and your attention, “Yoru here says we don’t know how to avoid flashes, ain’t that bullshit now?”

“What now?! Aren’t you the one who complains the most about my flashes here?” Phoenix leaves your side to go and defend his honor, “You are such a selfish bastard, always working on his own, tsk.”

Phoenix turns to you, pointing an accusatory finger at Yoru, “Careful tagging with him, this ass will probably bait the heck outta yo’ ass to kill the enemy.”

“Not to mention he won’t listen to any of our strategies when we get there, hah.” Skye rolls her eyes, sitting down next to you. “Say, I know you are Sage’s protegé, but we don’t know what you can do, care to fill me in? Mayhaps you can also flash for us.”

Giving a dry laugh, your eyes travel to Phoenix who is watching you with excitement in his eyes, obviously eager to listen to your answer. Yoru is glaring at you from accross the jet, arms crossed on top of his chest and just like the rest, awaiting for your reply.

“Um, I don't flash.” You tug at your cuffins to distract yourself, “I can heal, I can revive people, too.”

“You're basically saying you are Sage 0.2, right?” Yoru rolls his eyes, bored of such an underwhelming revelation. 

Phoenix slaps his shoulder, frowning, “Don't be rude.”

“Am I wrong, though?” 

“That's a poor choice of words, Yoru.” Skye chimes in. “If their abilities are similar, then we have a strategy to work around easily.”

“But I—”

“Oh yeah? The difference is way too big for you to not notice that we will be playing like guards so she can heal us. Or better yet, revive us.” The engines of the jet turns off, signaling they have arrived. “At least Sage does her part in killing the enemies.”

Before anyone could retort to him, Yoru stands and takes his vandal with him, opening the door and simply walking out.

Viper comes out of the cockpit with a bulldog in hand, mask on and a determined fierce gaze surveying her teammates.

“Is there any problem?” She asks, cocking an eyebrow. 

Phoenix huffs, shrugging his shoulders, “The usual with Yoru.”

She nods in understanding, reloading her weapon and signaling you to follow after her.

“Yoru will be taking A site with Skye, Phoenix will survey C site with me holding garage doors,” turning to you, she throws a phantom at your hands. “You will wall up B site and hold site, leaning towards A if necessary. We will defend and hold as long as we can, if the pressure gets the better of you, we will retake together.” 

“Righty-o” Skye replies. She grabs a guardian and sets off. Phoenix pats your back and gives you a thumbs up before setting off to his designated site.

Viper walks away without giving you another glance, sure of herself and the indications given. 

Despite feeling like you could trust Phoenix's words and believe in your teammates, the dread of anything going wrong clouds your mind deeply.

There is nothing you can do right now, but play your part calmly.

Haven is prettier in person, with foliage decorating part of the landside and tall trees hovering in the distance. The destroyed part of this place is painful to see, but you know there is nothing else you can do, except protect it as best as your abilities.

B site has an entrance in the middle overlooking mid and window; there are many angles to hold and so little to gamble if you were not sure of your aim. There is some reason as to why Viper asked you to wall it up and simply hold.

If the enemy were to take control of B site, the retake would be pretty difficult to handle.

“The Omega agents have landed just now.” Skye says through the earpiece. “We heard some commotion towards A short, but they haven't made their way yet.”

“Keep us updated. Let me know when to put up the smoke.” Is Viper's reply.

Breathing in heavily, you heard faint footsteps outside B site, close to window and walking towards garage doors. Your hands twiches, hesitant of walling up or simply hold an angle.

Should you warn her? Should you be saying something? The logic tells you to raise your wall to boost yourself up and peak mid, but you are terrified of facing more than you can handle.

“I heard people outside B site, Viper, be careful.” And sure enough, it is not until a few seconds later that you hear a bulldog fire and Viper's voice coming through after a few moments.

“Got the one in garage, I heard one running away. Still no sign of the spike.”

Phoenix's voice chimes in, “No one is C long either, these damn fuckers scared or something? I can start flanking them.”

“Hold your positions until we get further intel.” Viper contradicts, “We have the numbers, we don’t need to risk it. Be patient.”

A couple of seconds goes by, and from afar, you hear the hit pitched sound of a bird and popping, and from the sky, you see balls of smoke drop like bombs towards A site.

Panic seizes you the moment Skye's voice comes through the earpiece with gunshots in the background. Viper’s wall rises immediately and you lose sight of mid, frightened and alarmed that something might have happened to them.

“I’m walling up B site and helping them hold the site.” You call through the earpiece, you see Phoenix approach rapidly through C link. “Viper, are you holding garage for a rotation or will you flank?”

“I’m holding the site, go help them.” 

Phoenix nods at you, a determined expression on his face. “Let’s go.”

All that comes after that is a blur.

You remember listening to Yoru grunt through the comms, Phoenix ulting from CT when you enter the site without any regards to your wellbeing and, most of all, pain.

Is as chaotic as you might think, smokes everywhere, Viper’s screams through the earpiece, warning you about Omega Sage reviving the one she killed in garage and Viper having to back down because she got hurt.

You have lost the count on how many times you’ve been flashed by the enemy and your own teammates because you were careless; throwing yourself on the battlefield and firing bullets through the smoke to stop their advances because you didn’t know what to do. 

Once Viper’s wall runs out of toxin, you are way too deep into site to look for cover, facing both Omega Brimstone and a Sova pointing their guns at you. 

A chill runs down your spine when they fire at you, watching in slow motion as the bullets make their way to your head and you are unable to stop your demise.

You feel a tug on your waist, and suddenly, you are standing at CT while the firing continues.

A sudden wave of nausea hits you, losing your footing and landing against a firm chest for leverage. Looking up, you see Yoru frowning at you, arms holding onto your waist and barely being able to hold his own weapon to steady you.

“Get a grip of yourself, we need to get back there.” he exclaims, but doesn’t pushes you away.

Phoenix returns right at that moment, his ult running out of time and been able to restore to full health once again. 

When he sees you two standing there, he immediately panics.

“Skye is alone out there!” Reloading his gun, he pushes through the smoke. 

You grip your phantom, thanking Yoru with a soft whisper and following after Phoenix to try and help Skye out before it is too late. You hear his teleport, guessing he’s throwing himself into battle once again.

You follow after Phoenix through the smoke and, to your horror, he serves as a shield when Omega Reyna swings from A short, injuring him heavily but giving you enough time to use him as a distraction to kill her.

Running past him, you clear as many corners as you can until you reach A long to see Skye protect Yoru from Omega Sage and Killjoy, headshotting her and watching the body fall to the ground with a loud thud.

When you realize both Skye and Yoru relax their stances, you think you can finally breathe in peace.

The enemy has fallen, and Valorant protocol is victorious once again.

Walking carefully around the bodies, you approach Yoru who hisses in pain when Skye helps him stand up. He mutters something in his language that neither you nor Skye understand, but the japanese man doesn’t bother to say further.

Eyeing Skye, you notice she seems unscratched despite putting herself on the line bravely, barely one cut above the eyebrow but nothing to worry about. 

Sighing in relief for her safety, you turn to Yoru, raising a hand and laying it on his cheek that has an open wound bleeding. Besides that and a limp leg, you think you have enough energy to heal him and look for Phoenix afterwards.

But either he misinterpreted your actions or didn't need the help, he cowers from your touch and swats your hand away, scowling.

“Don't touch me.” He snarls while glaring down at you. It makes you freeze instantly.

You are suddenly reminded of your first meeting and his obvious disgust towards your person, backing away until there is a safe distance between you two and Yoru drops his defensive stance.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” you say.

Turning around to avoid eye contact, you walk towards where you last saw Phoenix to give your assistance. The poor man has his back against the graffiti wall, sitting on the floor and taking big intakes of air to regulate his breathing and not succumb to the agony.

There are bullet holes framing his arms and one near the stomach, causing him pain and discomfort if he were to move too much. His expression is nothing short but misery, trying to play it cool by smiling at you but you know better, brushing part of his hair off his face.

“I'll look for Viper to heal her, think you are okay with Phoenix?” Skye's hand lands on your shoulder, startling you. Yoru is behind her, blood dry but not a single scratch on him. “Yoru is patched up, so don't worry about him.”

You nod, “I'll take care of Phoenix.”

Once Skye leaves, you return your attention towards Phoenix wounds and lay your hands on his arm and one on his stomach, wincing when he whines and tries to back away from the pressure.

Your hands glow a soft cyan and you close your eyes, concentrating your whole power on those zones alone. The both of them watch with different layers of wonder the injury being healed instantly without leaving any trace of scars. 

Only the fabric of his jacket is damaged beyond repair, blood still staining the fabric and part of his skin, you only hope Phoenix forgives you for not being able to fix that.

But it doesn't seem to be his concern once you're done and subtly look at him for approval, biting your lip in nervousness and awaiting his reaction.

Phoenix turns his arm around for a second, flexing his fingers to notice that not even the injury was gone, but the pain on his whole arm has been washed away as well. 

He watches in amazement the last remaining of light coming from you before pouncing on your form with delight.

“Girl, you shoulda told me you were this impressive with the healing!” his arm goes around your shoulder, giving you a playful squeeze while grinning. “Did you save Yoru's ass too? Thank you!”

You only get to nod, smiling softly at his enthusiasm and feeling your face warm with his attention.

“Yoru didn't want me to touch him.” You can feel the japanese man's eye burning at the back of your head, but ignore him to keep talking with Phoenix. “And I guess Skye's healing is better than mine, so I couldn't offer assistance.”

“Nah, it's aight, girlie.” Phoenix winks, getting closer to whisper in your ear, “Yoru likes natural healing, either way, don't take it personal.”

Suddenly, the British boy is ripped away from you. You watch, to your horror, Phoenix getting punched right on his face.

You watch as he falls to the ground, groaning in pain and caressing the tender skin affected and getting swollen as the seconds passes by.  When you redirect your attention, Yoru's face is morphed to what could be described as pure annoyance and anger, breathing in heavily and scowling at his friend sprawled on the floor after taking the hit this easily. 

You don’t know whether to intervene or let them resolve this problem by themselves, but seeing as Yoru approaches to keep this onslaught on going, you decide is best to de-escalate things.

Standing up from where you sat, the best course of action is to ignore Yoru and simply help Phoenix get to his feet and lead him to the jet to reunite with your missing teammates. 

Phoenix lets himself be handled by your caring touch, apologizing when your hand hovers over the skin of his cheekbone and for troubling you. You bite your tongue, swallowing back words of reassurance to him but indirect blame to Yoru; the least you want is for him to look for a reason to fight you, too.

“It's just swollen up, I can heal it once we are on air, is that alright?”

“Yeah, no problem!” He seems ruffled and a bit flustered, but grins as if nothing has happened. 

Taking Phoenix by the arm, you don’t dare to look back and guide him to the jet. If Skye and Viper are awaiting your arrival you’re not sure, but anywhere is better than hanging in the bad atmosphere Yoru has created.

You cannot wait to get back to the base and sleep the day away.

[iomoru]

✮✰ Learn More About Me ✰✮

Introduction

Greetings, I am Iomoru but you may call me Io or Moru for short, I am a student writer and I'm basically just new to writing in Tumblr but I've been using Tumblr for over a year and a half now although I never really wrote any fanfics, I did use to write a couple of fanfics in wattpad before so I still have a little bit of experience in writing.

Basic Facts

Age: N/A|Minor

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Aroace

Favorite Color(s): Purple, Blue, Black, Green, Brown

(mostly the darker shades of all the colors that I have mentioned)

Pronouns: She/Her/Hers

MBTI: INTP - T

Enneagram: 4w5

Occupation: Junior High Student

Interests/Fandoms

• Favorite Movies/Shows:

- GOTG Vol. 1|2|3

- Coraline

- Avatar: The Last Airbender (ATLA)

- The Legend of Korra (TLOK)

- Spirited Away

- Ponyo

- Madoka Magica Rebellion

- Spider-Man No way Home

• Favorite Animes:

- Kimetsu No Yaiba

- Jujutsu Kaisen

- Madoka Magica

- Frieren Beyond Journeys End

- Spirited Away

- Silent Voice

- Your Name

• Favorite Music Artists:

- Mitski

- Mac DeMarco

- Laufey

- Jack Stauber

- Alex G

- Mother Mother

- Ado

- Kikuo

- Arctic Monkeys

- Cigarettes After Sex

- Penelope Scott

- MARINA

- Odetari

- VDYCD

- isq

- TV Girl

- Kali Uchis

- Lana Del Rey

- The Living Tombstone

• Fandoms that I'm in:

- KNY

- JJK

- Genshin Impact

- Madoka Magica

(these are the ones that I MIGHT/WILL write about, although feel free to request me anything just give me an idea and what's it about)

Fun Facts

• I REALLY love love love Kazuha (so there's a chance I might write more about him)

• Can't really function without coffee xd

• I like making random quotes (mostly depressed or some sh)

• My favorite animal might be something like aquatic animals or so because I really like Marine Life too and watch documentaries about them

• I'm also into Astronomy and I really like talking about Astronomical Theories or listening to them (I also like other theories about reality or the universe)

• I only write for fun

• I really hate loud noises

• I like it when it rains especially if it's night time because it's so peaceful and calming for some reason

• I don't like going out unless if I'm actually interested into going and I'm not in my lazy mood

• I can be forgetful and unforgetful at the same time

• I can hold grudges as long as possible tbh

• I despise my classmates they act like zoo animals

Writing Corner

• I WILL write:

- Fluff

- Angst

- Suggestive Smut

(I can't write actual smut for shit)

- Modern Aus

- GN! Reader

- Fem! Reader

- Tall! Reader

- I also might write Fili Aus

- MLW

- WLW

- Rivals to Lovers

- Friends to Lovers

- Enemies to Lovers

(Where they really hate each other to the point they almost started plotting how to murder the other one LMAO)

- Black Cat (Reader) x Golden Retriever (Char)

(but also depends)

- One-Shots

- Headcannons

- Smau(?)

(I'm not entirely sure tbh)

• I will NOT write:

- Actual Smut

- Poly Relationships

- any mental health disorders

- Kinks that I find really weird and looks abnormal to me

- Series/Longfic

- Child! Reader x Adult character (romantically)

- long age gap (ex. 18 & 27)

(minimum age gap is 1-4 years but it also depends but that's that)

- The ones where the reader is introverted but they're just some shy, uwu, petite, smol bean, type sh

(I want the one where they just despise everyone lmao, although I can write shy reader but it also depends on my mood, although not that type of shy iykwim.)

- Naive and a really dumb reader (I just can't handle it like dude.)

Rules

- I will NOT write any Yandere! char/reader, so if your into that then please just ask other writers that does it.

- Please do NOT spam requests or you will instantly be blocked.

- Learn to read this pinned post first before you ever send any requests, because if you don't then there's a chance I might not do it if there's something in that request that I don't write.

- If you're just gonna send hate comments to my works or to the characters that I have written then you will instantly be blocked.

- Only send requests on my inbox and do NOT dm me directly.

- Please do NOT force me to write something I don't write/like/uncomfortable with, and don't even try spamming me death threats or hate comments or I will block you instantly. (speaking from my experience in wattpad before)

- I ONLY write for fun so please don't pressure me into doing your requests or doing something else.

Expect me to..

- Mostly write about Genshin Impact

- Lots of cringeness

(I can't stop cringing about everything including my actions)

- also there will be cursing sometimes (I think)

- I will mostly do requests on weekends/holidays because I get really busy in weekdays.

- I will mostly do Gn! Reader cuz I can't really tell the difference between female and male readers

- Not gonna be able to reply fast cuz I'm busy with school and other stuffs

- Not active 24/7 but mostly active on midnight (also depends)

- Mostly will write about fluff lmao

- Might not do Canon Verse much for some reason 🧍‍♀

- Expect most of my fics will be tall reader because tall readers are so fucking underrated it's crazy

- Not gonna do part 2s (but also depends if I'm lazy or not)

- also you can request me anything but I might not be able to do it fast due to school and other stuffs

Reminder: Please do NOT DM me if you're just gonna send hate comments or towards the characters that I will write. And also learn to read my pinned post first before sending any request.

© ²⁰²⁴ ɪᴏᴍᴏʀᴜ

[who-is-muses]

@dcwnthercbbithcle | Shipping Bingo [ ACCEPTING ]

Shipping bingo for OUR Evan/Phiwip disaster ship and mayhaps Carmina and Sally too??

[ MY TURN TO GUSH NOW 🫵👁v👁💙 djdjjdjdjs ]

[ Like obviously I'm going to be biased because these are OUR little freaks, but !!! Evan isn't strictly the macho he-man testosterone fountain a lot of writers (INCLUDING THE DEVS) make him, and Philly is allowed to A) keep his specific intelligence instead of being dumbed down to a himbo that needs Evan to solve all his problems be they major or minor, and B) be a little Deeply Fucked Up instead of an uwu smol bean flavored bad circumnavigation of stereotyping African men. IT'S ABOUT THE NUANCE AND CHARACTER DEPTH!!!!!!! ]

[ And like! Their relationship doesn't have to be strictly perfectly smooth romance and roses because it won't ever be!!! They're both tragic victims turned monsters themselves, and the reality is they are always going to have rough edges! And that's absolutely okay!!! Fuckin hell!!!!!!! In both fiction and reality, healthy relationships experience turbulence! There will be arguments and butting of heads! While Ev and Phil aren't exactly the most healthy, they're gradually learning how to move past their respective limitations and actually communicate, including properly making up to one another after fights- which is also important! Hrhrnrrhrghrnrnrhrhn!!! ]

[ NOW TO COMPLETELY CONTRADICT MYSELF- bdjdjdjdkd not actually, but like. I think part of it is their respective temperaments- Sally's no-nonsense and Carmina's blunt-but-not-necessarily-cruelty- but they’re one of the best cases scenario for a couple to come out of the Fog on any side of the Campfire. Despite being partially and fully mute respectively, I feel like Sally and 'Mina have some of THE BEST communication skills out of the killers and I'd argue even the survivors. Maybe not always in the nicest ways, but they both make themselves VERY clear a majority of the times. ]

[ But at the same time, they're both relatively quiet ladies that lean towards getting lost in projects than large crowds or loud parties. One of my absolute favorite Romance Things is parallel play, being able to exist in a room together without necessarily doing the same thing, just sharing a space with your person being enough to feel their love and send yours to them as well qvq I could absolutely see them having one big ol "common room" type space where they can both work on their projects independently without getting in the others' way, but still sharing a room. (And where Carmina can keep an eye on Sally and bring her food and water when she herself has to force herself to take breaks.) ]

[ There's also. Like. The factor of Carmina's overabundant confidence. She can't fix Sally's body issues or the experiences she's had because of them- nor would she ever want to- but 'Mina can and will try to gradually help (not fix) her image of herself. 'All bodies are good bodies' is one of Carmina's strongest and most important beliefs- both in general, and personally in her life as a transwoman. While she's never been one to force her beliefs on anyone- another strong belief of her- she does her best to make it loudly and widely known that there is never one way to think about something. Body positivity wives qvq ]

[hcdidterms]

im really struggling to understand here why someone would want others to know what programs they have? im the opposite, i can barely admit im a programmed system, but i genuinely want to learn from those with different experiences thn mine without just jumping to the conclusion that "this blog is dangerous!!1!1!!!11!"

Okay gonna answer this one before we go to bed because it's actually nice and shit

In general, we tell people were a programmed system because we want to either meet people like us or as a disclaimer (as in to put a disclaimer in place so people know that we we start being "weird" it's a program)

Or when we *do* talk about specifics, it's either sone of us being dumb and forgetting we shouldn't overshare or it's an actual programmed response we have

In terms of this blog... We aren't telling anyone what programs we have?- we put out there that we *have* programs but not what they are specifically (except me taking about north having an isolation program, which the reason for me saying that is complicated and I'm too tired to explain)

We make flags for programs *in general*, for people who might want to see that kind of stuff and as a little project to keep north busy

We don't actually make flags only about the programs we have (for example, we don't have any violence programs to my knowledge, but we still made a flag)

And I've stated this in other posts but we don't intent for our flags to like in people's "uwu my flag hoard" Pinterest boards or something, we intend on them but being something people see and think it's neat, or something they use in private, or something they use to cope

Or anything else that doesn't put them in danger

Also we understand you didn't mean it like that but please don't call us or our blog dangerous, it makes us very uncomfortable

-Dani

[aeroplaneblues]

Alright! its time for top anime of 2022 list🎉

This year I didn't watched that many however I did found some good ones! 2 of those are recurring shows which I try to avoid, as this might be used as a rec list, but I like them that much!

the tldr; is on twitter

10- Vampire in the garden: this one was on netflix which I guess is why it didn't get that much attention, i like the concept and visuals were very nice its a bittersweet end but I quite enjoyed. 09- Raven of the inner palace: the story is interesting, its starts very monster of the week style with ghosts then moves to a main villain, the relationships between the MC and the rest of the cast is honestly the highlight. My only complain is pronunciation of the names are jp localized so I hope this gets a chinese dub. 08- Gundam: the witch of mercury: the last gundam i watched was wing and do not remember anything but i know its reputation, I gave this one a chance because the designs are really fun and I also went in with the idea that it was yuri bait. TURNS OUT this might not be what I was expecting, there is one more ep of this + the rest of the cour so I'm hoping it improves from here. The characters carry this for me even the background ones, they all feel like characters not props! Plus ZERO GRAVITY HUGS!! 07- Mob psycho 100 III: I know this list is numbered but I love all of these equally ! However, this in comparison with s1 and s2 is one of the weakest, maybe bc it had to close loose ends? idk but its still a good one, the moment I cry was with ekubo more than reigen i know i know but reigen had his moment in s2 and I think that hit harder. Time to read the manga! 06- My dress-up darling: this is ecchi, im saying this first bc if people barely tolerate bnha fanservice this is not for you. I usually avoid this but I was dumb and didn't saw the tag😂 and I got attached to the main characters and the story, I read the manga and the ecchi is very far and far between as the story progresses. I think it has a lot of heart and its quite fun love story, plus you learn so much about cosplaying! 05- Sasaki and miyano: cutest bl I've ever watched/read, sasaki reminds me of childe which I find it so funny I can't unsee it. Miyano isn't your uwu protagonist and their relationship is build sloooowly on a lot of love and respect. Its nice to see this type of bl without its usual uh nonsense. 04- The case study of vanitas II: the thing about this second season is that i didn't know if bones was going to adapt everything, the manga updates at shoujo pace and has had rough months of absence HOWEVER it was all adapted, like a month after the last ch came out we saw that ep which is the wildest thing for me tbh. Anyway that last ep is why this is here, it was the BEST fight scene ending like [SPOILERS] watch it, it was amazing. 03- Chainsaw man: yeah i know ofc this is here, this is one of the best adaptations I've ever watched, it is beyond perfect. Several episodes I felt like I was watching a movie, can't rec it enough it even has its own mads mikkelsen inspired character voiced by the same va of the other mads mikkelsen inspired character from my other fave show. Also love the detail how mappa draws shoes as fujimoto draws them. 02- Spy x family: this is another good adaptation, I started reading this manga in 2019?? And I kept thinking how GOOD of a story it was and it was a shame so little attention it got, but now with the anime its got the much deserved attention. I adore it immensely, here is hoping for a continuous success.

01- Bocchi the rock: THIS is at the top bc of how relatable it is for me and what a nice surprise to know its actually a good anime. I was expecting it to be another "cute girls do cute things" like "do it yourself" from this year and I wasn't wrong its just that it has a little more depth than that. All the girls have good and bad traits, goals and obstacles to overcome so the story focuses on that with their collective goal of playing music. As someone with social anxiety that lean on rock/playing guitar to make friends and not succeeding on that front I want to see bocchi accomplish her goals, its cathartic like that. Also the animator are truly having fun with the different styles of animating the jokes which is always a treat to watch.

If you got it to this part, thank you so much for reading! If you give any of this a chance and like them let me know! I love talking about anime as you can see haha. I hope next year the season isn't as dry mid way so I get to watch more!

Happy New Year!!🎉

[threadsun]

JDA Asks: "That one thing with Z kissing people and just letting out all the smoke— I think you are getting me into stuff I didn’t know I was into— uh I should be worried,,,

-JDA here-

Okay wait a lot of convo is going on so I kinda have to go back to re read everything cuz I have no idea how memory works- uh—

Kvetch,,, I think I get how to do it now??? The thing is yes pls rant about everything with me I will so gladly listen !! No I will never think it’s dumb or annoying I love to rant about silly stuff too !!

You shouldn’t think, you should KNOW women deserve to cause trouble uwu pretty women I love women !!

Yeah !! Changing your Oc also feels like you’re growing up with them,,, Bun used to be like 16 when I created her and ooO now she’s somewhat like 22-30 AND I LOVE HER SM !! I used to draw in dumb ppg style and she looked very bad but hey she’s improving !!

-also just listening to music and creating random scenarios with your characters in your head is fun !-

Pretty nice power if you ask me !!

Well I’m not scared of hell,,, especially if it means I’ll get to see more of Z uwu

The silly comic was nice btw ! Also !! I think art would suit you right ! I also hate that “getting better at stuff” phase cuz if I’m not good at everything the very first time I do something then I’m never going to get good— but I get over it,,, I think-

The thing is uh, draw, it’s fun !! Also I lieky to talk about silly artsy stuff, I’m all self taught so tell me to draw a human face I will make the worst sketch of a human you’ll see in your life, as long as people don’t have high expectations of me, I’m cool—

Anyways me rn

"

LISTEN smoking kink is hot. There's a reason Z smokes, and it's like at least 50% for the sex appeal. 80's Z smokes even more because it was more common back then.

Okay okay too much conversation but yes!!! I agree on all of those things!!! And yeah, I wanna do more art. I'm not bad at like... more abstract stuff, I guess? Like I can make nice skies and I've started working on a little eyeball and tentacles doe that I'm pretty proud of so far. But like... the human body eludes me and I wanna be able to draw people. I can draw dicks and boobs no problem, but literally Every Other Part of people is soooooo difficultttttt ;-; and I know I could take the time to learn but like... I wanna be good at it NOW!!! (imagine me stomping around like a toddler cause that's how I feel)

Also heeheehoohoo I'm glad you like my silly lad!!! He's simply feral!!! I need to make more dollmakers and stuff of him... It also seems like I'm gonna be writing him and Nik as the main characters of the multi-chapter fic I'm gonna write so >:3c more Z content will finally see the light of day!!

[tartrazeen]

I swear I love the friendship between Angus and Rohan. Angus is my favourite character, and Rohan's okay as an extension of Angus (I tried to see if I had any interest in Rohan away from Angus, but the best I could do was, "I'm off on my own adventure, all by myself! Oh boy, I can't wait to come back and tell Angus what happens - that's my whole motivation for going!" So. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ He's forever relegated to being a package deal).

... But I also love proving how unbreakable their friendship is by making them fight until they borderline break up. 🥺👉👈

I don't know why that's so fascinating to me. I get that I love making Angus miserable for my own entertainment, which - in my defence - is the canon treatment of him on the show. But Rohan's got so many boring "ooh i have to save the kingdom" problems that he's only fun when I make him miserable over personal stuff - stuff from his old life.

And what's Rohan's old life? Living in a hut with Angus and being Cathbad's invisible, peasant apprentice. By the end of the show, he's gotten rid of that and doused himself in ancient prophecies, legendary fame, respect, power, a place in the king's court, a mysterious and long lost royal family, becoming popular at last (I still maintain the guy had zero other friends), and so actively embracing his role as Draganta that you'd think the biggest reminder of who he once was would be... well, an embarrassing reminder.

But Angus has never been embarassing to Rohan. In a lot of episodes, Rohan's really proud of him. After Angus says he sees gold in a field, Rohan's practically bragging about how good Angus is at spotting gold anywhere, and he's all happy when he learns how to steal a buckler from Torc like Angus taught him. The closest he gets to being embarrassed by Angus is, I think, when Angus is goofing off while Rohan's trying to learn how that fancy duel against Lugad is gonna work. (Rohan got into that situation by being a dumbass though, and I don't think he actually says anything. It's Cathbad who shuts it down, so it's Cathbad's fault uwu)

After that, maybe during the episode with the wish, where Rohan starts thinking Angus can't be trusted to make a 'good' wish on his own? And he's still not embarrassed - he's concerned. Rohan goes, "We need to help Angus do the best he can 🤔," not "Ooh, I can't be associated with this guy 😬."

So that friendship, that pride in who Angus is, the comfortable assumption that Angus'll be in Rohan's old and new life (and the insistence on it in the early episode where they all get enchanted and start attacking each other, and Rohan's like, "nooo i need my bestie 🥺 angus snap out of it 🥺🥺") is just a big Chef's Kiss. I love that he treats Angus like a walking safety net. Rohan's sad? Sick? Worried? Nervous? Scared? Awkward? Ass-kicked-by-Garrett? About to be dragon-mauled? Bored? Just basically unhappy in any way that Rohan can't instantly solve on his own? There's Angus 💖

Let's ruin it! 😃

Lately, I've been trying to make a fight where it's Angus who starts it, but it still comes back to being Rohan's fault anyway. 😆 Why? Blorbo privileges. Sorry, Rohan. But yeah, I want Angus getting his hands emotionally dirty instead of Rohan just being way too defensive and lashing out over something again. I adore the bull-in-a-china-shop energy, but let's let the angst lead us for once.

I'm picturing the build-up in the context of how they probably grew up: Rohan helping with the obvious chores and doing what he was told, but Angus - being a whole year older - actually learning what they had to do.

It's still Angus, so I'm not thinking he learned how to magically plan in advance. But with how resourceful he is, he'd absolutely figure out solutions to whatever mess they were in - ones neither of them saw coming 'cause they're both a little dumb. Like if winter "snuck up" on them, so Angus has to find where some Irish Squirrels© are nesting - and also who in a village did stock up, and what he can take from that stock while he's sent Rohan off in the other direction to innocently hunt/discover if Ireland even has squirrels. Or if their clothes start to wear or rip or get outgrown, and it's Angus who has to learn how to stitch them back together or "borrow" fabric from somewhere else to lengthen everything.

They've always had a Trial and Error dynamic between them. But Angus is doing the trial and error, stumbling through it after they've already stumbled into it, and Rohan's safely learning from those mistakes on the back of Angus' examples. It's adorable in how totally bullshit it is, because even when Rohan's calling Angus dumb (affectionate), we damn well know Rohan only didn't do whatever stupid thing Angus did because Angus did it first. When there's no hindsight available, Rohan's sprinting to do that dumb thing himself ("Yay, a fancy duel! I accept, Lugad! What do you mean it's a trap?").

So if winter sneaks up one year, Rohan wouldn't know what to do. Angus would bail them out by thinking quickly, and then instantly forget about it once it was spring again. It'd be up to Rohan to remember the next year that winter is gonna screw them over for food, remind Angus, who'll go, "Oh yeah! Okay, well, here's the plan." And then the year after that, Angus is going to forget aaaall about it again, and Rohan will remember and say, "Angus, it's time to do the food plan for winter."

After a while, it'd get to be enough of a yearly routine that someone on the outside could say, "Wow, Rohan. You're so responsible. You're always taking care of that lazy friend of yours."

(i think i shared my other version of this before, the one where rohan doesn't know angus told those lies yet, and he has to deal with the guilt of letting angus making that choice on his own even though angus was also a kid. but for this scenario, i want rohan being confidently proud of his friend - and confidently proud of them being at a place in life where angus can sit around and wait for rohan to remember that oops they're gonna starve again if they don't start prepping for winter right now. i am equally obsessed with the idea of rohan trying to pay angus back for everything he did to care for them as children, by having rohan try to provide for them now as adults :3 hence my headcanon that rohan got his own hut to make sure angus had a place to stay, since rohan could've stayed with cathbad a long while yet. and that angus doesn't know that and thinks of himself as a squatter in rohan's hut :'))

I like to imagine Rohan having Angus' back against comments like that, where he either tells them, "It's not like that," or gets into a long explanation of how Angus saved them both from death's door during their first winter. I see him doing that a lot with Cathbad, who'd be losing his mind trying to understand what's to gain from having Angus around.

"Well," Rohan says, "Angus was the one who'd lie and say he already ate just so I'd eat the last scraps of food we had, because he knew there wasn't enough to share and wanted me to be the one not to starve. So if I have to be the one who remembers winter comes every year, I'll do that."

So - same concept when we're talking about their clothes: growing "snuck up" on them, and so did "roughhousing and being tiny terrors leads to ripping your clothes." Angus learns how to patch and sew, getting really good at it for how often that has to happen, but Rohan's the one who puts the pieces together on, "Hm. These clothes keep not-fitting... I think we're growing, Angus 🤔" and "My shirt feels thin at the elbows 🤔 I think it's getting a hole in it, maybe?"

In other words, Rohan's the one picking up on the pattern again. Here, the answer's just 'Hand Angus clothes, get patched clothes back,' which is why Angus is the one who's always doing it (note: Rohan would know how to sew, he can't possibly not know, if not out of necessity then at least out of curiosity, but it's definitely gonna be an Angus job. Angus - our little pickpocket - is better with his hands anyway, and I am obsessed with the idea of Rohan coming to visit him in jail one day and uhhhhhhhh shoving a ripped shirt through the bars like, "If you're not busy... 🙂" And I think Angus would find that hilariously cheeky and also be happy he's got a way to feel useful as a guest in Rohan's hut 🥲). And Rohan might even be the one to say, "We should just make a new shirt instead of patching this one up all the time," and that'd lead Angus to figure out how to find/borrow/make one.

Injuries too, definitely. With all the fun encounters Angus has with guards and people who've caught him mid-theft, I picture him getting hurt worse when he does get hurt, but Rohan jumping off of walls and picking fights and falling out of trees and getting rocks thrown at him (by request) waaaaay more often. Angus is the one reacting again, learning how to fix the part where Rohan's shoulder isn't in its shoulder-hole anymore, and learning which powders un-poison that kid when Cathbad's away for a few days and Rohan was pretty sure he'd learned to do a 'proper' spell.

... Rohan does not learn the pattern for this one. 😝 He's chaos, Angus is chaos, but Angus at least starts to get a spidey-sense for when Rohan's next move is being driven by overt overconfidence. It's the same in the show: Angus goes along with dumb plans, but he starts to voice his concern when Rohan seems eeriely sure they don't need a plan at all (see: "let's just go to the dragon first" and "i'll just leave angus tied up, garrett won't take too long to beat").

Honestly, that fight in Friends For Life could've half-been because Rohan's praised for being lucky he stayed behind and lucky he was able to fight those Temrans on his own. That luck being validated as a tactical choice was gonna go straight to his head and have him charge into a crowd twice as big next time - and lose. (Obviously the show wasn't saying all that, but it fits in pretty nicely uwu)

Dinner - and this is the last example before the actual scenes - would be the same idea. Angus and Rohan would get hungry, not have a plan, Angus would bail them out that night, and Rohan would remember they have to actually eat every day. I think they'd both learn to cook, actually. With no plan, Angus is gonna forget every night, and if he's wandered off for too long, he might not get back in time to feed widdle Rohan 🥺 So Rohan might learn in the out-of-necessity way.

But Angus likes things that are actually good, and he's comfy eating that mystery stew swearing it's good. Either of them mentioning that what they're eating doesn't taste nice would get Angus to - again - bail them out of it. He'd learn to cook intentionally, maybe even bake things over the fire, and when he goes out to hunt or forage, he's specifically looking for ingredients in a meal.

Rohan seems more like a guy who'd go, "Hey, I shot this rabbit. Can you do anything with it?" and Angus would do culinary improv, otherwise Rohan would skin it and cook it and have them eat it totally plain.

... Cleaning (LAST one). I do think Angus likes to be clean, or at least he likes the luxury of hot baths. But - like, we've seen him mix powders around. He makes lots of mess. So I'm not envisioning someone who dusts and mops and has a whole Tidy Up Day.

But! Angus does draw maps to loot he's hidden. And he crawls and climbs and navigates his way through that castle. And the only times he's been pissed about the state of the hut, it was for two decently similar things:

"I'm leaving. 😤 Because I'm enchanted and angry. 😤😤 Why can't I find any of my stuff around the hut?!"

"Of course you couldn't find your stupid cup in here. 😤 This stupid hut is a pig sty. 😤😤"

In other words, Angus likes knowing where everything is. He's not tidy, he's organized. Rohan? Apparently he's neither, assuming Cathbad was telling the truth about Rohan being a crappy apprentice.

So what's the 'problem' Angus would have to bail them out of?

On one end, probably Rohan taking things, moving them, not putting them back, and then him or Angus getting pissed when they can't find it - even though Angus knows exactly where it was supposed to be.

On the other and more immediate end, with Angus being a sneaky guy, he's definitely tried to creep quietly back into the hut at night, tripped, nearly broken his neck, and then started swearing so loud that he woke Rohan and the rest of the village up.

I get the vibe that Angus has tried setting things in order a few times before, and Rohan has given it his best effort to follow the plan... but forgot how it was supposed to be set up. Or forgotten which things were his and which were just for Angus (and which things were stolen), until Angus finally had to hide things outside of the hut and drew all those maps to keep himself organized... until others caught onto that, and he was forced to keep the really important stuff in the hut again - away from Rohan somehow.

Personally, I like to think that Angus has a highly acute way of organizing everything, knows exactly where to put it, and can find all of it at a moment's notice - but he's a thief, so he's gotten used to putting things where people wouldn't normally look, and he's a squirrel (do they have squirrels in Ireland?!), so it looks like he's just putting random shit everywhere. Like how he's looking for his stuff under Rohan's cot? That's on purpose. "They would never check his bed." And there's that idea I had that he's always reverse-pickpocketing things onto Rohan as his 'extra pockets'. 😆

But that leads to Angus being the one who knows where stuff is. Would not be surprised - would be delighted - if he's the one doing inventory on Cathbad's stuff to keep Rohan from screwing it up, and if Cathbad's had to reluctantly ask Angus at least once if he's seen such-and-such powders the last time he was rifling through Cathbad's things. But certainly any time Rohan needs something that's not obviously in plain sight - or even if it is but he's just not sure if it's 'safe' - he shouts for Angus to tell him where it is. Rohan is Angus' extra pockets, and Angus is Rohan's extra memory (you know, the guy who famously gets distracted by gold and girls all the time).

So that's how they grew up! That's their dynamic. Angus reacts and problem-solves, Rohan recognizes and repeats. Angus feels like he's earning his keep around here, and Rohan feels like Angus finally stopped thinking he has to earn anything (lol. Rofl, even).

Bring in Rohan's new life. Post-canon. Where is he?

Confidently embodying Draganta

About to learn what it's like to be a prince

Realizing he has a real mom and a real brother (feelings towards them are irrelevant) and maybe even a real dad too

Surrounded by royal friends

Eating at the king's table, and even telling others to get food and say Rohan sent them (like he did with Human!Aideen)

Free access to Cathbad's chamber

Experience leading Kells' army and telling everyone to stand down

It's impressive. Especially when that all happened because he yelled at the king lmao

What I'm picturing is that Rohan starts feeling welcomed by the others. He's Kells' champion, he's genuinely friends with the princess, so everyone expects him to be at the castle.

Deirdre and occasionally Ivar and Garrett like to talk about things royalty is expected to do - sometimes smugly. But from one royal to another royal, it's meant to be reassuring and almost ironically smug. It's something non-royals wouldn't get. After a while, Rohan (who's Maeve's son) would have one of them point out that he is a prince. Not in a flashy way, because it's not like they'd expect him to change overnight, but they'd certain start giving him advice and reassurances.

For example:

"Rohan, your shirt's ripped."

"Is it? Oh. I'll have Angus take a look at it later."

"Don't be ridiculous. We have a seamstress right here."

"... You want your seamstress to mend my shirt?"

"She'll only need a moment. You're a prince; you shouldn't be walking around with holes in your shirt."

"... Oh."

"In fact, you could do with a new shirt altogether."

"Oh, that isn't necess-"

"Call it a gift. It's a token to thank you for... well... banishing your mother. :/"

":/ I banished my mother and all I get is a shirt?"

"A nice one. 😌"

"Oh. Well, thank you. :)"

"If you have any other holes in your clothes, you can bring them over too."

"Wow. :) Well. Thank you, Deirdre."

"Of course. 😌"

Normal conversation, right? Deirdre's being nice, and only trying to get Rohan to accept her kindness by invoking the Royalty Rationalization: where you're supposed to let servants do shit for you because that's the natural order of being royalty, dw about it.

And Rohan, being new to this, would find it worth telling Angus about (SEE? He can't have any solo adventures without them involving Angus somehow 😭). He might laugh about it, and outright say, "Deirdre said I could because I'm a prince."

Angus could say, "That's clever, 'cause I was gonna ask when they'd do mine."

You know. Subconsciously noting the subtle class divide that's never previously existed. It's not enough for either of them to know it's what happened, but the words have been spoken out loud.

Here's where things deviate from usual Mean Rohan Is Mean and Does Not Appreciate How Much Angus Sacrifices for Him scenario. Normally, I'd be like, "Rohan laughs it off and they never bring it up again. It's just some unspoken privilege for Rohan now, and it doesn't bother Angus in isolation, but it's not gonna be in isolation for long."

We're not doing that. I'm bored with that. Asshole/Thoughtless!Rohan is so 2023, I just decided.

Instead, Rohan... kinda goes to bed that night thinking about this. He thinks it's nice Deirdre offered, and he's not planning to have it happen all the time. He might be a prince, but he didn't grow up as one. It'd be weird to start acting like it now. But... since Deirdre is offering, maybe he'll take her up on it.

And it's a gift, right? To thank him?

It's like the 6th century or something - these people don't have giant closets, and I only remember Rohan having three or four outfits: the red shirt with the chainmail, the yellow shirt and the... tunic thing he has at the beginning, and I think he has a blue shirt at one point. Not a lot of stuff. So bringing like six articles of clothing isn't a huge deal.

But he's wondering if he could bring - maybe... ten articles. Maybe. If that's too much, then maybe only eight.

Because he's not the only one with holes in his stuff, and Angus has been stitching both their clothes for years. It'd be a nice surprise, wouldn't it? Getting some of his things stitched too?

He finds Deirdre the next morning and asks (in that very polite, very demure way he has of asking sometimes) if it'd be too much trouble for him to bring some of Angus' things as a well. As a double-gift, if that's all right. Rohan defeated Maeve but technically Angus was the one who flew Maeve to wherever she is now, and he'll just keep rambling his way into why it would make sense until Deirdre finally cuts him off and says, "Rohan, it's fine. Of course you can. You're both welcome to anything we have. He's a knight too, and we're friends. :)"

And Rohan's obviously still thinking as a peasant, because he reflexively assumes that obviously he's not welcome to anything they have. He's a guest in the castle. But he'll accept the gift. After all, he's a prince, and he can't have holes in his shirt, right? :D

He gets his clothes sewn up. He gets Angus' clothes sewn up. Surprisingly, he sees the seamstress start to cut up spots that weren't ripped, but when he asks, she says there were actually stitches there as well. Apparently Angus is quite good at mending tears, because Rohan didn't even know those parts were mended. But he isn't as good as the seamstress, who spotted the handiwork clear as day. She reopens them to mend them again, this time making them invisible, as is simply expected when handling royalty's clothes.

And there's - uh... a lot to mend. Angus' clothes are thicker and don't get scuffed up nearly as much as Rohan's do, so Angus' hardly need a fraction of the work. But the seamstress gets to one of Rohan's shirts and asks if this is the one he's going to replace. There wasn't any talk about replacing a shirt, and it takes Rohan a while to realize this is the polite way of telling a prince that their shirt sucks and it's more holes than fabric, get a new one.

Rohan meekly says to skip mending that one, and when Deirdre asks later if it's all finished, Rohan mentions this. To which Deirdre rolls her eyes and tells Rohan he can have a new shirt, to which Rohan asks if this is the same as the new shirt she said he was getting, to which Deirdre says obviously not 🙄, because Rohan's shirts take two seconds to sew so this one doesn't count.

"You're a prince, Rohan. When I say you're getting a new shirt, I mean a nice one. With nice fabric. Replacing one of yours isn't even something you should have to decide."

It's a neat little moment, where the 'yours' calls back to the class divide that has always existed. A year ago, Rohan might have thought she was insulting him. Now, though, knowing he's royalty as well... he starts to understand the joke. The irony in saying his 'peasant shirts' are so easy to replace is her way of emphatically inviting him to accept the offer, because surely he can understand the difference between a 'nice' shirt - requiring effort and time and also permission - and one of 'his' shirts, which he has an open door to ask for any time he'd like.

It's odd, because it does feel reassuring. Something about it makes him understand that he isn't imposing or stepping out of line. He's still nervous, and he isn't planning to make this a habit, but he finally accepts that he doesn't need to grovel over it.

Although the smile on Deirdre's face implies the grovelling's appreciated, only because it emphatically shows his gratitude.

He gets it. He's never seen the dynamic revealed before, but he suddenly understands how the formality means nothing and yet everything all at once. There's an oddly special sincerity in him being so shy to take these favours when he's supposed to be "of the class" that wouldn't think twice about it.

If trucks existed, the contrast would've hit him like one when he returned to the seamstress to find Ivar casually describing the detailed shape of new socks to her.

Rohan didn't even know socks had other shapes than 'sock'.

He gets a new shirt. :)

... And it takes some awkward conversation with Ivar and very little eye contact with the seamstress before he can ask for a second one for Angus.

Rohan's delighted to surprise Angus with everything. Angus is delighted too - first, that Deirdre even let his clothes in the castle, and second, that the royal court seamstress made him a shirt. He's not even royal! It's hilarious! But it's greatly appreciated, because Rohan could've easily not bothered.

And again, it's not quite speaking to their new class divide. Angus isn't grovelling. He's thanking Rohan the same as if it'd been birthday. There's a thrill to that, knowing Rohan didn't have to wait for a birthday. Or for any special occasion. He wanted a shirt for him and Angus, and Rohan got those shirts. It was nerve-wracking, so he can't play it off like Deirdre would by saying it's a trivial thing for him to do. But he does take joy in knowing he got to 'cheat' a bit by having a special occasion on a regular day. The thrill of that is mutually understood.

But there's the divide. The beginning of the separation. This is going to be - someday - normal for Rohan. And it's going to still be a big surprise for Angus. That thought's not consciously in their heads, but if they knew what each other was thinking, Angus would be amazed Rohan was already puzzling over when the 'next time' would be, while Angus had naturally assumed there wouldn't be a next time at all. One of them is royal. One of them isn't.

One of them had learned that socks could be tailored to a person's foot.

One of them was still shocked his clothes were mended, not burned.

It stops being in isolation.

Food.

That's the thing that gives it away.

Rohan and Angus have both gotten used to be being invited to eat at the king's table. They're Mystic Knights, and it lets them discuss their next move.

They are not used to being invited for breakfast "just because."

Rohan's not sure what he thought was exactly happening in the castle. Ivar and Garrett stayed there; they weren't exactly kicked out to find their own breakfast. But he assumed they had to be with the king or at least the princess to eat in the throne room. He was shocked to find that no, Ivar and Garrett could eat there whenever they wanted.

"Obviously," Garrett said, continuing a pattern with that word, "not when there's a meeting. But you know that. You've been in the throne room before by yourself."

To walk in, to pass through, to speak with someone, perhaps even to unwind with the others... but never to eat there as if he had any ownership over the room.

"I understand," Garrett said. "Kells' castle is impractically small. In every other castle I've lived in, meals are served in their own room, and the throne room is reserved for matters of importance. But there's nowhere else to put the table."

And Garrett punctuates that with a shrug, as if his statement excused everything.

Ivar invites him to breakfast the next morning. Deirdre hears about it and asks if she can come to. Rohan is horrified to hear Garrett and Ivar explain that no, Deirdre can't come, because this is to teach Rohan that he's allowed to be in there without her or the king.

The class divide opens up, and this time in a new. The very horror he had gets addressed, but as its own formality. Ivar and Garrett are royalty, but it's her castle. If they're going to have a party without her, the least they could do is inconvenience themselves.

They settle on saying they'll be up at dawn - far too early to drag the princess out - and that it's all so they can get a brisk air to fully wake them before they train. Obviously, they would not exclude the princess from her own castle. It's simply so inconvenient that it'd be rude to impose an invitation.

It's all so self-aware. Rohan's seeing the inside of the joke revealing itself.

And he wouldn't have given it any other thought (at that moment at least) if Deirdre hadn't casually asked if Angus was going.

They laughed, understanding that Angus would never get up that early. Not to train.

But that's not what they said.

Self-aware again, speaking in formalities again, Ivar said, "You know Angus." And while he transitioned to inviting both Angus and Deirdre to join them later, Rohan was caught by what that really meant.

'Angus has a habit of sneaking into places he's not supposed to be, so he doesn't need an invitation. It wouldn't be a surprise to see him there. It wouldn't be a surprise not to see him.'

'Angus has a habit of sneaking in.'

'Angus would be sneaking in.'

In the moment, Rohan decides not to dwell on that. Later, he starts to think it's nothing... terrible. Later still, he almost thinks it's a compliment. Not everyone gets to sneak in and eat at the king's table but not get in trouble for it. Everyone knows he's a part of their team. He's their friend. He's welcome.

When he speaks to Angus that night, he knows he's almost convinced himself. It's maybe why he wants to go out of his way to say it to Angus, and prove that it really isn't a big deal.

"Do you want to come too?"

Rohan hasn't said Deirdre wouldn't be there, only that Ivar and Garrett would be. He doesn't think it'll spark anything. After all, a prince is a prince. Ivar and Garrett are there, so it means they already asked for permission.

"When is it?"

"Early."

Angus doesn't like that answer.

"You could bring me something back," Angus tries to negotiate.

"I'm not going to stuff pastries down my pants for you," Rohan says. He leaves out adding that it's more than enough to be sitting there without the king or the princess.

"I would," Angus sings.

And that's because that's Angus.

He has a habit of sneaking into places he's not supposed to.

"I don't want your pants-pastries," Rohan says.

Angus enjoys that answer very much.

Rohan brings something back. But he gets it from the cook afterwards. Taking it from the king's table feels like stealing, but asking for it afterwards... It's simply asking for a favour. There's no reason the cook wouldn't do him such a trivial favour.

He starts to see it for what it is: a table. Deirdre's table, but a table nonetheless. Once, the king arrived as Rohan and Ivar were eating there, and joined them. Another time, he and Garrett ate in Garrett's room, simply so they wouldn't be interrupted by anyone else.

And when Angus was there, no one questioned it.

It was Angus. They all knew Angus. And the thought of someone questioning his place here was an insult to them all.

When Angus purposely took extras to have for lunch later, they allowed it by ignoring it. After all, that's just how Angus was: always sneaking food.

It was almost funny that he was doing it. Didn't he know he could sneak in for lunch, too?

No. Obviously not. Because after they'd patrolled and noticed it was lunch, he and Angus instinctively parted ways to eat at home. This was normal. This was what they always did. But now Rohan saw the class divide raw and exposed.

Deirdre, Ivar and Garrett would be eating together at the castle.

To them, he and Angus were choosing to eat at the hut. Away from them. And while it might have meant excluding three of their friends, those friends couldn't simply invite themselves over. He and Angus weren't prepared to feed five mouths. It made sense to exclude them anyway, because he and Angus were best friends, and why wouldn't they want to have lunch at home and uninterrupted?

The truth was he and Angus hadn't known they could go to the castle too.

... Rohan felt foolish for it now. Like he hadn't realized he'd been excluding anybody. How could he? They were royalty! He couldn't just go and join them for a meal when he felt like it.

Except that he could. He was royalty as well.

And...

Well.

They knew Angus. It wouldn't be a surprise either way.

The others were pleasantly surprised when Rohan and Angus walked in for lunch after all.

Rohan spent some of it wondering when the next time would be.

Angus did not seem to realize it was something worth wondering about.

(I'm gonna come back and finish this later. I'm sleepy. uwu)

(edit: okay i'm back)

There's a new set of rules Rohan learns over time: what he's allowed to ask for, what's simply assumed he can have or do, what favours others can refused without malice, and what favours had better have a damn good reason to decline. The power it gives him doesn't take as much getting used to as he thought it would; he just has to be polite, and realize that every time he asks for something now, someone else might get in trouble for saying no.

It's the opposite of how things used to be, where there'd be punishments for saying yes and giving food or favours to peasants without permission. But the concept's the same. He doesn't ask for something they shouldn't give him, and if they quietly slip him something nice (like a warning to not request whatever it was he wanted), he takes it. They were putting their livelihoods on the line to refuse a prince at all - the same as getting caught giving table scraps to common orphans.

He barely asks for anything, of course. He doesn't need anything. Treats and snacks for Angus, maybe something brought back for dinner if Rohan suddenly decided to stay instead of heading back to the hut. It makes up for Angus having to wait to start dinner, just to find that Rohan had eaten already anyway.

Before anyone's patience ran thin at that (especially Angus, who got sour when he was too hungry), Rohan started making changes. If he was going to eat at the castle, they were all going to be there. It was thing to leave the other three out over a misunderstanding, but he couldn't accept leaving out his best friend over the same thing.

So, If he was eating at the castle, he'd find a way to let Angus know. If it meant walking all the way back to the hut to get him, fine. If it meant leaving a note and having Angus catch up with them later, that was alright too. And if they just wanted (or needed) to eat back at the hut by themselves, Rohan would find something for the night. Angus was fine with whatever; he just wanted food.

They could've kept going like this for ages - and Rohan fully intended to in the spring - but it was getting to the time of year where they had to stock up for winter. He mentioned this to Deirdre offhandedly, while he was getting up to meet Angus for exactly that.

Deirdre had had a thoughtful look on her face for a moment.

She had it covered away in the next with a smile.

And she had it revealed in full the day after. She'd talked to her father, she said. With Rohan being the warrior Draganta - and the who'd ended the war - it seemed improper to let him stay out all winter again. Politically so, perhaps, if Temra ever caught word of how Kells was treating their prince. So why not take one of the spare rooms in the castle?

Just for the winter, she repeated. Kells only had so many rooms available.

The slight wince she made saying that gave the divide away again. If Rohan were a 'real' prince, he supposed he'd be offended at the thought of 'taking' a room away from a future, possible, more royal-er guest. But he wasn't, and getting to have a room at all was wildly generous of her. She was glowing with pride at being allowed to offer it - which, he understood, was why she hadn't brought it up yesterday. She needed to make sure the king would approve.

... Speaking of approvals...

"That's very, very nice of you, princess," Rohan said, with his own wince brewing.

"But?"

"But..." There was that power, and he was here on the peasant side. It put him on the verge of refusing royalty, and if he did it for a bad reason, he'd find out fast how 'real' of a prince he wasn't. "... It'd leave Angus alone. I can't leave him in the hut by himself."

The best way to refuse wasn't to refuse. It was to think up an inconvenience their great princess could accept was impossible to overcome.

"Well, unfortunately," Deirdre said, "we don't have two rooms available."

"Aw. That's alrigh-"

"But he can stay with you," Deirdre said. "You two share a hut already. You can share a room with him for a few months."

"And you'd be fine with that," he challenged, curious. "No one would mind him hanging about the castle all day?"

"It's Angus," Deirdre said. "He's here all day anyway. I don't think anyone's ever had luck in keeping him out." She paused. "And if he causes trouble, that's his private room."

A cell.

Fair enough.

"I'll ask him about it," he said. She looked disappointed at his lack of enthusiasm. "Truly, princess, it's very kind of you. But I don't know that he can last that long without causing any trouble."

Equally as fair. That would be their safe way to decline: pin it on Angus giving everybody a headache. It didn't matter if he would or not. It didn't matter if Rohan was practically just as bad. Rohan was a prince. Angus wasn't.

He'd meant it, though. He was going to ask Angus the next time they talked. Did they want to stay at the castle this winter?

"Not with Cathbad," Rohan said, cutting in before Angus made a face. "Deirdre said we'd have our own room. You and me would have to share, but we do that already. She'll even let you have your cell if you don't want to share."

"Hm. That's nice of her." A good answer. A positive one. Angus seemed to be mulling it over, and didn't entirely think it was some elaborate trap. Entirely. He still asked, "Why're we getting our own room?"

"Well -" He could've said a hundred different things. Rohan could have picked so many other ways of saying it, but he picked the one that had - at last - snapped the pieces into place. "- I'm Draganta."

Always, always, always in the past, Angus could've pushed back at that or laughed at him. 'Aren't you special,' perhaps. 'I'm a knight too,' if he was feeling snappy.

But that didn't work anymore.

This was their first time noticing.

Because if Angus tried saying anything about Rohan being Draganta, Rohan could instantly counter by saying he was a prince.

There was nothing either one of them could say to get around that fact.

"Right," Angus said instead, having done the same math and getting Rohan's answer. "You are." And then that had to hang for a while, looming as they awkardly adjusted to the weight of that news. "... Glad it's paying off."

"Yeah," Rohan said. "There's benefits."

Then that had to hang there, too.

"I'll think it over," Angus replied at last. "Winter's long."

Then he walked off before Rohan could answer.

'Winter's long'? What did that mean?

"You can say no if you don't want to," Rohan muttered.

... Well.

Assuming Angus didn't want to.

Winter was long. That couldn't be helped. And Angus didn't technically say 'no'.

"I'll give him some time to think," he said to himself.

Yeah. Yeah, Rohan would wait for a while. Angus probably just wanted to plan how to survive being trapped with all of them. It wouldn't make sense to refuse otherwise.

[lavender-teardroplettes]

Here’s a fun question: what initially drew you to yanderes and the yandere vns community as a whole (so like what about the concept itself, and not the people you met, drew you to it)? Like how did you first find out about yanderes and what they are and stuff?

Also if you don’t mind me asking why do you choose to make your sonas cat hybrids (at least I think they’re all cats)? Like is there something about cats specifically that draws you to them and makes you want to incorporate them into the sonas in someway or is it more surface level of something like maybe just liking to draw cat ears? I’ve been following you for a good bit so I even remember back when you first created your STNAF sona/oc Clover and then when later you switched to just using your Si sona (since it’s definitely easier than making a new oc for each new game). I just wondered since in your post talking about why you started using Si/yourself as your sona you only talked about why you decided to use a self insert and didn’t refer to why you made/started making your Si sonas hybrids (unless you fid somewhere in their and my dumbass just forgot).

Anyway I’ll stop here before this ask becomes too too long

Have a great day/night and thank you for answering💖!

Hmm ngl probably stumbled on Yanderes as a whole while reading fanfics back in the day even before Future Diary and Yandere Sim really pushed them into the limelight and a little bit of carry over from some of the ex's I've had while being a dumb kid online with parents who didn't understand real online safety. (Like, one of them was one of those "Joker" bros for context if that tells you anything lol). While I do like the thrills, chills, creepy set ups and etc. that come with yan games, I'm also just a fan of vns and otome games in general and there's a lot of potential for some fun writing that goes outside of just writing full fluff and comfort- actually bonus points if you can fit that in with all of the fucked up shit happening around your character. uwu/

As for Si being a cat/animal hybrid- it's just something I've done since being like 11 and really learning how to draw since then + said time online and in certain mmos. I've always just identified with nekos/cat people and it's sort of been a little calling card I use for myself. Using Clover as an oc was fun while it lasted, though, don't get me wrong- but like you said self inserting is easier. uwu

Plus I've been teased/told that I sneeze like a cat on top of just sharing traits with them- so it just fits outside of the few different animals I make Si as. I'm already a human in real life, why not make it more fun and give your self insert a little flair? Sometimes it adds some fun background for certain games as well! For example- while in Seven Bloody Nights Si starts off as a human- if he ever gets turned into a vampire I wanted him to have the same sort of 'werecat' powers he has in other canons and to kinda parallel Beel in how he's a werewolf on top of being a vampire. uwu

[shinra-makonoid]

@menalez

Replying here because it would be too long otherwise, but I put a short version for the people who would read our exchange in the post so they have full answer.

I don't have access to the methodology. Only the abstract and the raw data because it's deposited and you could request it if you asked the scientist (there is an email). And you barely grasp Joel's position yourself, as evidenced before in my long post you didn't read.

Edition because I used the wrong link, this is the good one: I don't think my personal opinion on the method is worth anything, but here is my best guess. On the data analysis, they put:

They also say:

They say themselves they arbitrarily chose the 33% for the extremes. And obviously, if you decides that 33% "is in the middle" by default, then you'll probably find that you can't categorize anything at all. The study looks even more stupid now to me. If I decide that the "extremes" are actually the 20%, I'll have suddenly even more intermediate zones and I'll find even less categorization. But if I choose to have actually 40% on the extremes, I'd probably see some different results. It's fucking dumb. This is such a dumb study I don't even understand how it could be used by a student in the field. I don't understand why you're convinced this study is good.

I could choose to classify biological sexes with 33% "in the middle" (by using secondary sexual characteristics for example) by default and then conclude based on that "see look, you can't categorize biological sexes, it's all a mosaism uwu" with the same technic lmao

But again, I'm just a guy, I think it's best to refer to the scientists who criticized Joel's paper, my opinion is very much unprofessional and uneducated on the matter, and I don't need to have a personal opinion about that study for it to be heavily criticized by peers in the field.

I was talking about peer reviewing in the process of general publishing. See that I added "commentaries from other scientists" after. It's right there. You are grasping at straws to save your ego. I had a whole post that I spent hours on you just ignored because it pissed you off and didn't go your way. That's the kind of person you are, that's the kind of scientist you are.

The "engineer" you're talking about is Rosenblatt and you can see here he has a PhD in statistic methods for neuroscience.

He has a rather good report on google scholar for his publications too:

He is exactly the knowledgeable expert you'd expect to comment on a study like Joel's, he is perfectly in the right to comment and in the good specific field of knowledge, way more than you'll ever be. But you saw the little thing here from the reply he made:

And you stopped there. You didn't look more, you didn't even read the next part of the next paragraph:

Which already showed that he probably had a whole foot in neuroscience, a bigger foot than you do.

On top of it all, you don't need to put down people's degrees and researches like that, it is disgusting. Those people spent way more years than you did in the university to perfect their knowledge about the specific field they argue in. Have some fucking respect for them, if not for me. If you have any comment against them, it should be about the facts, not their personal life of educational background. Having a diploma just means you spend an amount of time in education, it doesn't show what skills you have or how good of a scientist you are. You prove that very fucking well yourself.

And every time you make an assertion, I have to go and refind it just to answer you, it takes a lot of time, meanwhile you don't even spend any minute reading what I am writing, nor spending any time in reading or researching your arguments before posting them. It's a disgrace.

You just grasp the straws and then say "I'm literally a student in a MASTER's degree in NEUROSCIENCE" and "you're MANSPLAINING my OWN fieldddd". None of that protects you from being wrong, which you are. I have only contempt and disgust against ""scientists"" like you. It's like playing chess with a pidgeon, you just en up shitting everywhere because the game doesn't go your way.

Classic TERF move, and why I don't think debating with any of you is interesting: you are not interesting to talk with, you are not interested in science, you just masquerade as knowledgeable people by misusing it, just like any other pseudoscientific guru out there.

[vos-videmus]

> REFIT - JACKIE'S JACKET <

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[lebowskismoney]

Welcome to lebowskismoney!

Hi!! I’m Moni Lebowski, but I go by Moni or Ski!

23 | Queer | She/They

Novice bard, mspaint enthusiast. I draw cute characters and yap about numerous subjects. Joined in 2019 but lurked for longer. Former chaotic-academia blog, now amalgam of stuff I like.

Art Blog: tarta.png

Comms are CLOSED!! ko-fi link here!

✨🍓Fandom & Tag List below the cut 🍓✨

FANDOMS I POST ABOUT SOMETIMES ovo

Games: Legend of Zelda* (SkSw mostly), Fire Emblem, TWST*, Obey Me!*, and old Nintendo DS games!

Manga/Books: Witch Hat Atelier, Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, Inheritance Cycle*

Anime/TV/Movies: Dr. Strange, Stranger Things, Sonic the Hedgehog, Queen’s Gambit, Hibike! Euphonium

Other things: Hello Kitty/Sanrio, Linked Universe, Jerma985, jschlatt, Sonic Fandubs

Asks are open!! Send art req's, or even a hello ovo

Below the cut is a list of the tags I use.

*I'm starting Eldest and playing thru TWST, TOTK, and Nightbringer blind. PLEASE don't spoil it for me, I want to fully enjoy stories without getting spoilers ✨

TAG LIST FOR REFERENCE uwu

AKA all the tags i use for this blog, in case you don’t wanna see a specific thing.

monireblogski (reblogs)

moniletagski (tags)

monilebaski (asks, mine or others I partake in)

monilebartski (art!! i draw stuff on mspaint and krita!)

monilebardski (music!! i like tunes, and am learning to play on my own!)

monilerambleski (rambles about random things)

monicaughtsimping (self explanatory lolol)

monilememeski (memes)

monideleteski (ooo this one’s rare! late night posts i vent in sometimes)

moniafterdark (i say a lot of dumb stuff at night)

This list can expand with time, and will change if i pick anything else up.

funny little tidbit: I used to go by moni, but pals started referring to me as ski, and reading skiskiski cheers me up a lot bc it sounds like the pspspsps sound you make when calling to a cat, so I'm also ski owo.

[taechaos]

Idea series oc sneaking Tae in the house after he had big fight with his father about something (your choice if it's smutty or fluff or angsty) with a peek of a vurberable Tae? Honestly i think he would change the topic as soon as he started it and prob with sex.

Anyway I'm really interest in their family dynamic since I remember don't know if it was in part one or two that you mention they have really religious parents? And seeing how harsh their dad is with Taehyung it have me wondering how is his relationship with the mother and ocs with both parents, despite everything the seem really distant from their kids, maybe thats why Tae and YN find comfort in each other. OC is the first real bond Tae made with someone so maybe that's the reason of his fear of being replaced and his obsession with her, and ocs mother probably don't pay that much attention to her so that's why even after the incident she still want him to be there. At this point I'm just rambling I'm sorry. And this ask is all over the place, started with a request and ended questioning characters life 💀💀. Sorry hehe.

when i read this yesterday i was literally blown away by this like hOLY shit your analysis is so in-depth at first i was like damn do my characters have more than oNE DIMENSION?? WHICH IS RLY FLATTERING BUT I THINK ITS JUST UR WORDS THAT MADE ME SOUND SMART 💀💀💀 the ending is chef's kiss tho made me bust a lung SHFJJD thank you so much for taking the time to write this its honestly so fucking amazing. hopefully u can see more of their family dynamic in this drabble :)

Rays of sunlight slither through the cracks in the blinds of the living room, allowing Taehyung's father enough light to scan the newspaper he holds in his hand, with the musical, happy chirping of mockingbirds filling in the silence. All of these beautiful signs of nature and peaceful rotation of the earth makes Taehyung tense up even more.

The moment he got back home from buying drugs, his father greeted him in monotone with a, "would you sit with me for a moment?" and he hasn't spoken since. The zipperbag in his pocket crinkles every time he shifts in his seat, making him cringe momentarily before he starts nervously fidgeting again.

This is so awkward and yet equivalent to hearing: we need to talk. God, why is he so silent?

Clearing his throat, Taehyung stands just as his father flips a page with a lick of his thumb. "I'm going to my room really quick."

"No."

"Oh." When will his step-mother return? She's his only hope as he sits down while avoiding looking at his father, whose gaze is set on the black and white printed pages.

It's only a minute later when he talks without diverting his gaze.

"Your sister is in her room, researching her major to get a headstart on a typical syllabus."

"Smart," he comments with disinterest and nibbles on his upper lip.

"Taehyung, how was your attendance in college?" he folds the newspaper and curiously peeks at his son, who is doing a poor job at hiding his nerves.

"It was alright–"

"Lying is a sin, son," his movements are aristocratic when he leans his chin on his fist. "Don't lie."

"I'm not," he stammers and his eyes flicker, "it was bad at the beginning of the year, but I fixed it."

His father pinches the bridge of nose where his frames lie. "I love your sister, Taehyung," he sighs and takes off his glasses, "I want her to do well. I've given up on you, but her? She can accomplish great things if you're not there to influence her. You're a bad influence. Are you following me?"

Taehyung nods dumbly with a racing heart before registering his words and shaking his head. "What?" he blurts. "I used to help her with her homework all the time–"

"You were home once every month."

"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I didn't see her," he coldly says. That's not entirely accurate, but it is true that he saw you more than he saw his parents before he started living here again. For you.

His father is taken aback, offended as he scoffs, "You avoided me and your mother, and yet have the face to stay in our home?" He stands up and passes the coffee table that was Taehyung's only barrier to hover over him with distance. "I expected so much more from you, but you can't even do the bare minimum. An adult without a stable job, respectable girlfriend, and embarrassing grades. I'm ashamed to have raised such a boy, for I can't even call you a man."

Taehyung abruptly stands but he continues, "If you can't even pay rent, go back to that landfill you came from."

"I have to pay rent to live with my family?" He's livid and his hands shake by his sides; they're taking you away from him because what? He isn't the son they wanted him to be?

"You've made it clear that the only thing keeping you here is my daughter," he blindly points at the closed door of your room, "and you will have to try much harder to see her again. Get your life together, and you can come back."

Taehyung's face is heated with anger from the injustice. "What the fuck?! This is such bullshit; you're kicking me out?"

His father frowns at his language, growling, "Taehyung! I will not let you drag her down that path with you. When you stop destroying everything you touch, I'll gladly let you live here."

Destroy? He hasn't done any harm to anyone—especially not you. He knows he's self-destructive, but it doesn't extend to his environment. If he fails, it's his failure, but his father takes it personally instead of encouraging him to do better.

The importance of reputation and success in this family enrages him; he's aware that he's not much of an affectionate person either, but a little love wouldn't hurt to witness in the household.

Instead of defending himself or speaking his mind, he obliges bitterly.

"You need to get laid," are his last words before he slams the door and opens the zipper bag to pop a pill. Ecstasy isn't so fun when you're not around, but he can use the distraction. It's been a bad day.

He flips off a stray cat idling around the garden before casually leaving the property.

—————

Studying isn't fun for you, never has been, never will be. Though you hate every second of it, it does give you something to do to make time pass faster. You've been tutoring yourself about things you'll learn sooner or later anyway, but you guess it doesn't hurt to have to study less when the time comes.

You check the time. It's approaching night at 9 PM, and your father wouldn't protest against a break now, hopefully. He only suggested that you should start studying, but you know what his suggestions really mean.

Do it, or get shamed into doing it with subtle glances.

As if that isn't enough, he constantly checked up on you throughout the day. He wasn't exactly giving you a choice, which irks you.

But that's done and over with, and there's a more pressing matter at hand: where is Taehyung? You heard bits and pieces of the argument, but you couldn't get the whole scoop. You worry he's going to go back to his old habits of never being here, rarely seeing you. He would've been hanging out with you six hours ago out of routine... It can't just be you being clingy. Something happened.

You: are you coming home tonight?

The response takes a few minutes.

taehyung: nop

taehyung: but i am coming to ur room

taehyung: cuz ik u cant sleep without me 😖

You: actually the opposite but ok lol

You: when are you coming

taehyung: whenever u want uwu

You: uwu...?

You: just come before it gets too late

—————

So that was a lie. It's 1 AM and still no word from Taehyung. Okay, maybe you're just being clingy now, but it's unlike him not to be clingy. Maybe he wanted to cool off for a long time after his tak with your step-dad, or simply wanted to hang out with his friends after spending all of his time with you.

That makes sense. What doesn't is the slide of your window and shuffling of your curtains. You instantly sit up in your bed and clutch your blanket closer. You watch a silhouette enter your room as you pick up your limp, your tense muscles relaxing only when you recognize the intruder. You put down the lamp with a click of your tongue, ignoring the relief in your pounding heart.

"Hey," he stupidly grins at you. He looks disheveled, clothes untucked and wrinkled, and from the little light you have, you can see his redshot eyes.

"There's also the door," you remark sassily. "Are you um... high?"

He shrugs and crawls in your bed, dismissive as usual. You both make an effort to keep your voices quiet.

"I talked to mom earlier," you ease into the discussion until he butts in.

"That's great."

You roll your eyes and prop an elbow to look down at him. His head lies on his hands while staring at you, mood strangely upbeat. He's definitely high.

"She was a little sad about something, and I know it involves you. I heard you talking to–" You're interrupted with a lingering peck, a little rough in its force but not unwelcomed.

"I've missed kissing you. Shouldn't you be asleep, by the way?"

Recovering from the unexpected attack, you reply, "It's not that late. I don't have to wake up early."

"You shouldn't ruin your sleep schedule," he tucks a hair strand behind your ear without taking his eyes off of you. "Staying up is hard to stop once you start."

"Yeah, you're a great example," you joke with a quiet giggle. Whispering with him feels intimate in a heart fluttering way. His heart pangs with a feeling he can't put a finger on. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hm?"

"Don't play dumb, I'm really curious. What happened with dad?"

"A lot of things happen with dad," he shrugs, "sometimes we play catch–"

"Taehyung," you give him a pointed look, and he giggles.

"You're right, he'd never play catch with me." He groans as he stretches in your bed before trapping you with his arms on either side of you in one motion. You don't know what he's trying to do, but you watch him above you in amusement. "No offence, but when is your mom not sad when my dad is around?" he laughs with a huff.

"That's rude, Tae," you remark seriously, "she's happy when you're around."

Taehyung's smile falters like yours, his happy guise crumbling when he says, "Are you?"

"Pfft," you roll your eyes, "What do you think? I was up waiting for you."

Ah. That's not a very good influence.

"I'm here now," he whispers, "go to sleep. It's okay, I won't do anything, I know you worked hard today."

You agree with a yawn and nod. But even in your sleepy state, you can read the room—Taehyung is especially attentive of his tone and volume aside from being so tense. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in and on ecstasy," he falls back on his former spot, "I can't not be alright."

"Taehyung, I haven't seen you all day–"

"Yeah, because I didn't want to be here," he looks at you dead in the eye, "and I don't want you to be here."

You blink rapidly, slightly shaking your head in confusion, "What are you saying?"

"Move in with me."

He's met with cold silence, so he persuades persistently, "Don't you want to get away from here? You'll have so much more freedom with me, and I can help you with your assignments and everything. It'll be perfect."

"I— do you... Where?" Taehyung is high and he doesn't know what he's saying is what you believe because this is so out of the blue, so irrational, but he describes it like it's utopia; you are not completely against the idea.

"I have enough money from drug dealing to rent an apartment, and you can tell dad that you want to move out to be like an adult or whatever, that you have a stable job, without mentioning me," he rambles, and his dilated pupils are more noticeable up close; it slightly puts you off.

"Wh-what about mom?"

He scoffs, "If she wants out, she can get her second divorce. Don't worry about them; after all, they're apparently the only real adults here," he relates back to not being worthy of being called a man. You shift away from him little by little. "Just trust me."

The phrase is triggering for you, a reminder of the time you were tricked into trusting him moments before your trauma. "We'll talk about this when you're sober," you meekly say, avoiding eye contact.

A wicked smile grows on his face, "I can't wait, princess."

[ji-yaaan]

【ＣＬＯＳＥＤ！】

Will Reopen again once I finish requests :')

•°•°•°𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒀𝒂𝒏'𝒔 𝑻𝒆𝒂 𝑪𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒓°•°•°•

In the dark forests of Twisted Wonderland, Lies a small shop hidden deep within the woods..... Care to enter the mysterious shop?

[𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴𝙻] [𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁]

Oh? Welcome dear customer! Yanyan's tea corner is now open for business! Order to your heart’s content!

Note: Hi!!! It's your local dumb owner who spills tea 24/7! Call me Yan! I will be taking up your orders! Be it sweet, sad, spicy or shameless. I'll try to make it with the best of my ability! Maybe I won't answer some requests I feel uncomfortable with? or requests that I feel like I have no idea how to answer or how to picture the scenario?... I mean I'm still young and I got many things to learn.... Anyways off to the rules!(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

•°•°•°•°𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗢𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿?°•°•°•°•°

This tea corner will only make short Headcanons/Imagines/ONESHOTS!!! If you push the right buttons, don't mind me going ham on asks Pls tell me what you want uwu?

1-4 twst characters per Headcannon!!! Ps. I'm not the most serious writer when it comes to headcannons lmao-

1 twst characters per scenario/imagine!!! I'll try to focus more on how the characters would react on this.

1-2 twst characters per Oneshot!!! I wont do separate oneshots, I will do them combined eg: Malleus × Reader × Silver

Please be specific with your asks!!! I'm no cryptologist to decipher vague asks... If you want specific scenarios, tell me! That will surley make it easier to understand and work on. Even a little context or dialogues will help me!

My stories will be brief and short compared to my previous works. This is a tea corner you can flee to! Have a short, yet enjoyable tea time.

NO COPY PASTED REQUEST! Even if I proclaimed I'm doormat... This doormat got feelings too ok??

Also, you don't have to use the emoji's I put in the menu, that's just for decoration lol. \(>0< )\

•°•°•°•°•°•𝗠 𝗘 𝗡 𝗨•°•°•°•°•°•

🌷𝙁𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛 •Your Sweet Honey Milk tea.

🥀𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 •Red tea perfect w/ passion fruit.

🌹𝘼𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩 •Bitter Black Tea... blerghh bland....

🌿𝙉𝙨𝙛𝙬 •Lemon tea!!! Scorching hot!!!

🍵𝙎𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙊𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧!!! •What is it that you wish for? What is it that you'll get? Curious to find out? Ask Yan for a secret tea recipe that'll surprise you! (>▽<)ﾉ

•°•°•°•°•°•°𝗜 𝗡 𝗙 𝗢°•°•°•°•°•°•

Secret Order? Ohhhh.... Sweetie.... I will brew you a delicious cup of tea, give me a scenario and what is it that you'll get? Something sweet? Something bitter? Or is it some scorching hot tea? Will it be a Oneshot? Will it be a Headcanon? Or will it be your usual Scenarios? Wanna find out? My ask is open for a reason....(if you want your secret order to be a bit spicy, TELL MEEEEE!)

NSFW! For starters: No incest, no twincest, no cheka, no ortho... Please... for the love of God... I will make nsfw smut with feelings and consent! Please be specific with asks! NO ILLEGAL STUFF GOT IT?

Masterlist? Coming soon if I actually make content lmao-

I'm sorry if I don't get to answer your ask, it's probably because I don't know how to answer them, or I don't have any idea how to answer them.... I'm plain and vanilla blergh I'm sorry....

•°•°•°•°•𝗦𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝗸•°•°•°•°•

Yan asks:Hello you crusty Yam! I know your procrastinating again! You cant fool me! But can I order a Yandere!Malleus × Reader Yandere Scenario, where Malleus tries to accidentally kill the reader? That's it you lazy Yam!

Let's make a bet! No one will ask me lmao- \(༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)/

°•°•°•°•°•𝗟𝗢𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚...•°•°•°•°•°

[𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚃𝚎𝚊 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐~]

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

Hello there ~ Congrats on 100! 🎉💕 I'm so happy for you!! I was wondering if I could request a match up for Ikevamp. I'm fairly new to Tumblr and this is my first match up request so I'm a bit nervous since you are literally the first person I will have interacted with on here 😅 but I love your writing! If you are busy or have a lot of requests or anything please don't worry about it or overwork yourself! It's a lot of work and I totally understand!! Also edit, I'm really sorry in advance. This was way longer than I intended.

I am a bi female. I am an Aries but I am close to the cusp (April 18th). I don't typically associate myself with most Aries traits outwardly though since I am really shy and reserved, but internally I can see it as I am competitive with myself and a major perfectionist. But I'm low-key chaotic as can be like I'd identify myself as chaotic good since I'm just a mess with good intentions 😂 I am an INFP-T personality (which is scary accurate to me) if that helps any!

I am very short, only 5' tall and I am slim with overall small/petite features and frame. I have medium/dark, warmer toned brown eyes and auburn wavy/loose curly hair. I am very pale but have a lot of small freckles on my face and body. I've been told I look a lot younger than my age I think since I have a round face and am overall a small person. I'm very friendly and smile a ton but I am shy. I get big "eye smiles" whenever I smile and tend to blush a lot cause nerves. I've been told I tend to smile a lot and because I'm a shy, vv awkward person, my go to whenever I meet up with literally anyone is to smile out of nervous habit so people tend to think I'm overly friendly or approach me but in reality I'm a nervous boi.

I study landscape architecture and wildlife biology in college rn so I really love art and nature! I want to do habitat restoration after college. I especially am interested in plants and often go hiking and identify plants as well as do botanical drawings.

I am interested in both math and science as well as art. I enjoy watercolor painting as well and I am interested in illustrating children's books if landscape architecture doesn't pan out 😅

Besides that I have an obsession with extreme love for cats. I'm not ashamed to say my cat is my best friend, she is perfection 😂 I love anything living though thats not a person. Plant, animal, insect, they're all so wonderful to me and I tend to feel more comfortable around animals and nature than people.

My favorite color is a pale pink, I really love light, cutesy things. But my personal style is very retro academia. I wear a lot of clothes from the 60's and 70's or inspired by then. I really like fashion and fashion history.

My favorite food is spaghetti with just cheese. I may be an adult but oh well,, some plain ol spaghetti just hits the spot every time. I love baking and cooking though and have a sweet tooth. I used to decorate cakes in high school and I enjoy creating my own recipes and desserts.

I like to daydream, play video games, drink tea, sketch, read, and listen to music as well. I also spend a ton of time outdoors enjoying nature. I love trivial and fun facts. I want to gain as much knowledge as I can about the world.

I don't like things that are too loud I suppose. I'm a pretty easy going person but I am very nervous in crowds or places that are too loud. I'm also afraid of storms and I'm not fond of extremely dark places either. I don't like failing/faltering or embarrassing myself, especially in academics. I am extremely nervous talking to large groups or meeting new people as well, I prefer small, more personal interactions. While I enjoy talking to people it's just really hard so I don't usually unless they reach out to me first. I also hate conflict and drama (unless I'm not involved, then bring the popcorn). But any conflict is a big oof for me.

In a relationship, I really like surprise hugs and signs of affection. Sudden surprises create a sense of excitement which I really like to have. I like the idea of a relationship feeling new, passionate, and exciting, despite being together for awhile. I don't like gifts necessarily since I feel uncomfortable receiving things, I prefer sharing special memories. I'm not huge on PDA, I feel uncomfortable if someone is too clingy around others, especially my family or someone I know since my family is pretty conservative. But if we are alone, I love tons of affection and little acts of love. Hugs from behind, a small brush of our hands, holding pinkies, light kisses, and lots of smiles just make me melt, ugh tiny gestures are so cute. Communication is very important to me but not my strong suit, I tend to shy away from issues and trip over words I don't mean, but body language is very important and I think can be better for me and for my partner to understand.

I would like to be able to enjoy a comfortable silence with someone while we both read or do something while holding hands or just touching in some subtle way. I would love to be able to escape my perfectionist front that I have around others when I'm with my partner and be able to make really silly, dumb jokes and have lots of laughs. I love the idea of joking around while loosely holding each other. I present myself very seriously but I'm a big goof and rather dorky and like to have fun but romantic interactions.

Also it would be a plus if they love or at least tolerate kitty cuddles with me and my cat. My cat is such a baby, she's constantly in my lap or following me around so we are a package deal basically 😂

I'm sorry this is so long, and I hope it is enough for you as well!! Thank you so much for opening up match ups too! If you need anything else let me know! Take care of yourself and congrats!! 💕

It’s perfection don’t worry. Thank you so much for sending the request. I hope you are taking care of yourself too and everything is good.

Anyway I matched you with.....................

                                                            ............Isaac

HA BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING!

oh you did?

ok I’ll stop

Isaac is a very curious person much like yourself

he loves discovering and learning new things

and that is the first thing Isaac noticed about you to be honest

sure he saw you and was like Damn she gorgeous but that was about it

however when he discovered that you are also a curious but little nervous bean he started opening up to  you

neither of  you like crowds and loud people who disrupt your concentration, so usually you spend your time in the library

sitting together in silence and reading

loves that your cute and blushy

even tho he’s exactly the same

as you got closer he started noticing more and more things about you

how your eyes would lit up when you passed certain plants in the garden

how you would hum to yourself and dance around thee kitchen a little when you thought nobody was looking

he loved everything about you from your adorably freckles to your reserved yet charming personality

it too him a long time to confess to you

a long time and a lot of pep talks from Leo

in the end he forgot everything Leo said and confessed to you in his own way

after that oh boy

you are the definition of inseparable

he’s new to this so you have to give him a little time to get used to it

after he’s comfortable he’s very affectionate

more in private but still

will give you surprised  hugs all the time

whether it’s that he walks up behind you and hugs you while turning apple red God if Isaac was here he’d kill me for that pun or him walking and scooping you up and plopping you in his lap in the library as you both get into some book

totally gets that you don’t like going to very crowded places

BOOM your wish is my command Isaac will almost always take you to fields of beautiful flowers so you can hang out, goof around, have a picnic and the stargaze

Isaac will pull you close or just hold your hand while explaining a few things about the constellation, after you will just enjoy the silence as you bask in each others company, while gazing up at the starry sky

he holds you pinky

finds it super cute and usually blushes harder than you even though he initiated it

holding your pinky is a personal thing for him

he finds it reassuring

you’ll just be walking and all of a sudden Isaac intertwines your pinkies

he’s anxiety on legs and holding your pinky is his way to tell you that in that moment he’s scared, anxious or just extremely nervous

you usually hug him and kiss his cheek

holding your pinky can also be that he loves you and hopes he’ll be with you forever

it depends on the situation, but he likes telling you he loves you like this

he has a surprisingly good sense of humour and likes to goof around with you

loves your cat

he wasn’t much on a cat person before, but your cat likes o play with Harry and he thinks that’s really cute

all in all you guys have a really good relationship

Ok now i have to pour some water on my head

CUTENESS OVER LOAD

Lia .exe has stopped working

That’s it! I hope you enjoyed and I hope you are well! Once again thank you @uwu-catlin for the request and the compliment. Love you 3000!