#and I just KNOW they would consider it derailing to even talk about how I experience it as a TRANSneufemMASC

[xxlovelynovaxx]

[Img ID: post reading "it doesnt matter if we're feminine or masculine or androgynous. they'll want us dead anyway. THIS POST IS ABOUT TRANS MEN AND TRANSMASCULINE PEOPLE. DO NOT DERAIL. MAKE YOUR OWN POST." /end ID]

I think actually we've reached terminal selfishness and self-centeredness when "look basic transphobia. THIS IS ONLY ABOUT SOME TRANS PEOPLE. MAKE YOUR OWN POST" is considered acceptable behavior, like

1 this is the reblogging posts site. if you don't want it "derailed", turn off reblogs

2 it's not "derailing" to talk about experiencing the exact same type of oppression for the exact same reasons. like, this is tagged transandrophobia. y'know, the word coined to talk about oppression UNIQUE TO or MORE TYPICALLY EXPERIENCED by trans men and mascs? Like I know we're all super sensitive to "it's just transphobia" because bad faith actors use it to shut us up about our own oppression, but even if transandrophobia is ANY transphobia experienced by transmascs, this one is SO not unique and SO universal that calling other trans people "derailing" for daring to acknowledge they experience it is honestly transphobic itself

3. Are you being transmisogynistic or exorsexist it both? Do you find it offensive that a group even more erased than transmascs (trans people who are neither transfem nor transmasc) might "take the spotlight" by experiencing the same pain as you? Are you just mad that transfems suffer from hypervisibility (a key factor in transmisogyny, no less) that you're wrongly viewing as some sort of privilege?

Like this is the logical end conclusion of exclusion, separatism, and the idea that it's immoral or even just dickish to talk about SHARED experiences of oppression. Even those who aren't convinced that there's no overlap and oppression fits into neat little boxes based on your actual identity (and that people with multiple identities experience each oppression as discrete separate forms of violence OR a new unique form of oppression that no one else ever does) are like "I have the right to shut people out of a discussion of their own pain and trauma just because *I* experienced it for THIS reason

Like, I draw the line at someone saying anything more exclusionary than "oh I didn't name all groups that experience this because this was a more personal vent post, but please share your experiences because this isn't exclusive to us".

Idk I can't even articulate what's so gross and off-putting about this. But whatever, this intersex transneufemmasc is making their own post so they aren't (implied) transandrophobic by, idk, being transmasc but also other things and experiencing this same thing based on those other identities, or acknowledging that those other identities share these experiences in the absence of transmasculinity.

Also, nontransmasculine/non-trans-men experience transandrophobia, you fucking asshole. Transneutral, abinary/atrinary, neutrois, maverique, and other trans people that are seen as transmasc by bigots experience no material differences in the oppression they face. Their experiences are almost identical to yours - except they have to either be misgendered to be acknowledged or get erased. What functional difference do you think there is between an afab person pursuing what you forcibly label a "masculine" transition facing this exact shit, and you, other than that they respect your gender and you don't return the favor. Or you do, only to shut them out of a conversation that they have less of a voice in than you do.

That's just fucking transphobia. Fuck off.

If you're being so defensive over past trauma you bite people BEFORE you know they're unsafe, maybe you need to get a fucking grip.

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

The Heat of the Moment

Warnings: Dubcon. Like it’s all consensual, they both want it, but it’s not as thoroughly expressed as it could be. Just BE AWARE it is DUB.

Also I didn't like super duper edit this because i'm sick and fuck that, I'm on the precipice of irrelevancy I have to act.

Tags: Angry!yn, big dick!jun, size kink cause it’s unrealistic, lots of teasing from jun, jun’s a dom I think, brat!yn? I don’t really know how to tag this one. Creampie, cunnilingus, yn is a bit dramatic

-

You were angry.

No... Angry didn’t even begin to cover the emotions that you were currently feeling. You were furious. Furious because it turned out the two people that you trusted the most in the world were rooting for you to fail.

Because why else would your best friend and the guy that you were madly in love with be at the movies together right now? Why else would neither of them be answering your messages? Why else would you be sitting on the stoop of Jun’s apartment’s front door, waiting for him to get back just so that you could yell at him?

Cause, no, they had to be rooting for you to fail. They had to be plotting something behind your back, because if they weren’t then you were just crazy.

And someone who was crazy couldn’t reasonably be this angry.

“Y/n?”

You looked up glad to finally see the person you had been waiting for walking up to you. It was a bit annoying to have to smile and pretend like nothing was up every time Jun’s neighbor Marlene insisted that you come inside for some tea while you waited for him when you were this angry.

“Wen Junhui,” you hissed back, scrambling to your feet. Jun had looked a bit confused walking up, but upon registering your anger he had the audacity to let a small smile press onto his lips. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you?”

Jun hummed, and looked down at his phone, flashing it towards you with the hand that wasn’t holding the lanyard with his keys on it that hung from the other.

“Considering the missed calls... About an hour?”

He closed the distance between you two. Clearly not scared by your anger and tapped you lightly on your head.

“Do you want to come in?”

YOu scoffed at his audacity.

“Are you serious right now?” You asked him. He walked past you, and you stomped up his apartment stairs behind him, waiting impatiently for him to let you into his apartment. Once his door was unlocked you were pushing through it before him, kicking off your shoes.

“How was the movie?” You asked him, crossing your arms across your chest as you glared him down. He barely paid any attention to you. He patiently hung up his keys and organized your shoes next to his on his shoe rack. Then he walked past you and into the kitchen.

“The movie was okay,” he said. “Do you want some water?”

“No, I don’t want your stupid water Jun. I wanted you to spend time with me today,” you replied, but the heat did not die with the admittance.

You weren’t positive... But you were pretty sure that Jun liked you. In the same way that you liked him. After all, beside Haruno he was the only one who humored your fits of anger. He was one of the few people who didn’t completely derail your anger. He let you talk.

“I thought you were busy,” Jun said, and the honesty in his voice was annoying so your next words were a bit immature.

“Fuck you.”

Jun’s eyebrows rose slightly at your words. He sighed, and gave you a serious expression.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Like always he was right. Your anger towards him was a bit misplaced. You had a shitty week. You were tired. Haruno and your schedules weren’t lining up. And stupid Jun hadn’t hung out with you all week.

But he was here now, and you could tell he was going to listen so you started to tell him everything that went wrong, and did your best to half-heartedly tie it back to him somehow so that it would seem better that you were ranting about nonsense to him even though you both knew that he just wanted to be there for you.

Jun let you talk for an hour, you standing there in his living room, him standing in his kitchen listening to you. Then he let you talk for another hour, moving to be closer to you, and then he let you talk for one more hour before suddenly he was very close to you.

You tried to ignore it, focusing on being angry. He let another thirty minutes pass.

“I’m…” You hesitated as Jun’s hand slipped under the hem of your shirt. Confusion flashed through your eyes, but Jun was looking at you so attentively, as if he was listening to your every word. As if he wasn’t touching you at all. “I’m still mad at you Jun. You chose to hang out with Haruno over me.”

Jun nodded, a hum vibrating through his throat. You pressed your lips together in annoyance.

“Are you even listening to me?” You demanded. Jun nodded again, that serious expression still spread on his face.

“Of course, I am,” he promised, but as he spoke another hand was sneaking under your shirt, his fingers grasping at your hips. You decided to ignore the touches, the pit of your chest still boiling after all.

“It’s serious,” you reasserted. “You told me that you wanted to hang out with me. You told me that I was important. But then you cancelled last minute-”

“You never actually planned anything out with me,” Jun reminded you. “You just said you wanted to hang out. Haruno made actual plans with me.”

“You knew I wanted to hang out,” you insisted. “You just chose to ignore it.”

As you spoke the tips of Jun’s fingers dipped under the waistband of your pants. Again, you let your confusion show and again Jun was acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Whatever.

“And then you ignored my texts when you were hanging out with her,” you continued to berate.

“We were watching a movie,” Jun replied, his voice so soothing that it was honestly beginning to dissipate your anger and that made you even angrier.

“And so, you couldn’t pick up your phone?”

“We were in a theater,” Jun explained. You furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“So you go to the bathroom,” you grumbled. Jun’s expression softened.

“I’m sorry y/n, that must have been so frustrating,” he said, and even though his tone was sincere, his words bothered you.

“It was frustrating. It’s so hard to get you to just spend time…” You trailed off as Jun’s thumbs brushed over your hip bones. “What are you doing?”

Jun’s expression was practically unreadable.

“Do you not like it?”

You pressed your lips together.

“I just…” You weren’t sure what to say. “I’m mad at you.”

“Okay,” Jun agreed, his fingers still brushing your skin soothingly. “So, you don’t want me touching you?”

You weren’t uncomfortable. Just confused.

“I… I don’t mind,” you admitted. “I’m just, really mad at you.”

“But you’re okay with me touching you?” He repeated. You felt aggravation rising in your throat.

“Yes, I’m okay with you touching me,” you mumbled. “Why would I care?”

Jun hummed, shrugging.

“Just wondering... For the same reason that I’m wondering why you care so much about me hanging out with Haruno over you?”

As Jun spoke he started to run his knuckles lightly up and down your sides under your shirt. You thought surely he could feel the way your body was burning under his touch, but you were really hoping that he would just think you were hot.

His hands were cool, and it just made you crave his touch that much more. It was like he was literally cooling your body down. He had no right to be so soothing.

“It’s just because you should have been hanging out with me,” you mumbled back. Jun’s lips were spread out in a large smile.

“Yeah? How come?” He pressed.

“Because why wouldn’t you be?” You snapped back. You raised your hands to Jun’s shoulders, squeezing them as you glared at him. “Why do you ever hang out with anyone who isn’t me?”

As you spoke your voice grew quieter, whinier. You didn’t mean it really... And you knew that Jun knew you didn’t really mean it either.

“It kinda sounds like you...” He trailed off, his smile growing. “Oh, no surely that’s not it.”

Your eyes narrowed at him.

“Surely what’s not it?” You pressed. Jun shrugged.

“Nothing,” he  , his hands slipped out from under your shirt and without really thinking about it you grabbed his wrists.

“What are you doing?” You blurted. You immediately regretted speaking and grabbing him.

“I was just going to stretch,” Jun said innocently. “You’re being a little clingy, you want me to touch you that badly?”

You couldn’t help it but his comment reminded you that you were mad at him.

“Yeah, I want you to touch me that badly,” you snapped. “You think you can just... Just touch my sides and say stupid things, and be... Stupid and not expect me to want you to keep touching me?”

You guided Jun’s hands back to your sides, hoping that his fingertips would cool you down again. Jun obediently squeezed your sides and slid his fingers down your hips further.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his tone oozing fake pity. “You’re so hot y/n. You know what would make you feel better?”

You tried to keep your breathing even as Jun’s fingers slid across the waistband of your pants. His fingers flickered over the button of your pants.

“If you took some stuff off,” he replied, his voice soft. “I could help you.”

Your face was even redder, your hands still on Jun’s wrists. You squeezed his wrists, your mind racing.

What was he trying to say? What was he insinuating?

The heat in your body was coiling into your stomach, your core beginning to burn as his fingers brushed against you.

“I mean...” You trailed off. “I am really hot.”

Your eyes flickered away from Jun’s even though he wasn’t looking at your face. He was looking down at his hands.

“You think you could cool me off?” You asked. Jun’s eyes darted up to your briefly.

“I know I can.”

“OKay,” you mumbled. “You should... You should help me get my clothes off.”

Jun’s fingers immediately flicked your button loose of your pants, one of his hands holding your pants up as he slowly unzipped your pants with the other. As he did so his eyes stayed on your face, watching you presumably for any sign of your discomfort.

Not noticing any regret on your face, Jun hooked his fingers in the bands of your pants and slowly pulled them down your legs. As he pulled them down, he lowered himself down your body. Once he was on his knees, he dipped his head beneath the hem of your shirt, raising his hands to the small of your back and pressing a small kiss to the top of your naval.

A shiver wracked through your body, and you grabbed Jun’s shoulders, squeezing them lightly.

“You seem like you’re cooling off,” Jun said against your stomach, and you could feel the smile on his lips. His hands dragged across your hips, his thumbs hooking on the hem of your underwear.

A whimper ripped through your body, which you just muffled by slapping your hand over your face.

“You’re so pretty y/n,” Jun mumbled against you. “Do you want me to show you just how pretty you are?”

“Would’ve shown me if you had hung out with me the other day,” you blurted back. Jun laughed against you, and his hands slid up your sides, bunching your shirt up your body. You took your shirt in your hands and lifted it over your head, letting it fall to the ground. Jun looked up at you from your stomach, his hands lowering back down, hands rubbing over the curve of your covered ass.

“I’m sorry y/n,” Jun said, his voice full of that mocking sincerity all over again. “If I could go back I wouldn’t hang out with Haruno. I would have skipped the movie and thrown pebbles at your window in the pouring rain.”

“It wasn’t even raining,” you grumbled back. Jun’s lips broke into the smile that told you that he was teasing you.

“I would’ve made it rain if that would have made you happy,” he promised you. You glared down at him, but as you did his fingers slid down to grip your thighs, his thumb running along the fabric of your panties. You bit down on the palm of your hand.

“You’re still hot aren’t you? Getting better but still burning,” he mumbled, he lowered his gaze down to where his fingers were running over you, his thumb rubbing lightly over your slit.

“You feel really hot right... Here,” Jun whispered, his thumb ran over your core and he pressed his thumb between your clothed folds. “And so wet... You’re practically dripping through your panties.”

“I’m not-”

As you spoke Jun pushed his thumb deeper inside of you, pressing the fabric into you with him. A moan vibrated through your body but you suppressed it as best as you could.

“I’m gonna fuck you y/n,” Jun said softly. Your eyes widened a little, and you bit down harder on your hand, surely leaving imprints on your palm. “’s that okay? Do you want me to fuck you?”

“I-I’m mad at you,” you managed to get out.

Jun hummed, and let silence fill the room. He wasn’t moving, you weren’t moving. He was just waiting for you to give him a real answer. You felt hot, and you weren’t sure what it was from. Anger, attraction, or embarrassment.

“Want you to fuck me, Jun,” you finally got out.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

Jun slid up your body, wrapping his hands around your neck so that he could press a kiss firmly to your lips. As he kissed you, he slowly began to walk you backwards until the back of your knees hit the couch. Jun’s thumb brushed over your throat as he kissed you, making it just that much harder to breathe.

A small whine vibrated through your body, making Jun pull back. His fingers rose a little, the tip of his thumb pressing into your mouth just breath enough to get it it wet. Before you could say anything, Jun was pushing you down into the couch.

He lowered himself down to his knees and dragged your underwear slowly off of your body. As he did so you hid your face behind the back of your hand, trying not to be so embarrassed.

The look on your face only made Jun’s face contort into a sympathetic expression.

“You still mad?” He asked you. Your eyes fluttered shut in frustration.

“Gonna be...” You mumbled back.

“Can I tell you how perfect you look first?” Jun asked, and before you could tell him no because of course that would ruin your anger, his fingers were prodding at your wet folds. “Cause you do look so perfect.”

His fingers gathered wetness by gliding between your folds, lightly teasing your hole with his index finger. He slid his fingers back up, teasingly circling your clit.

“You’re already so wet,” he mumbled. “Practically dripping. Is this all for me?”

“It’s just cause I’m mad,” you bit out from beneath your hand. As you started to speak, Jun pinched your clit, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. A yelp turned into a moan which you cut with a bite to your hand.

“Oh? So, you don’t want me to fuck you,” Jun mumbled. He began to pull away from you but you reached down quickly, your fingers lightly tugging at the strands of his hair.

“I mean...” You tried to push down your desperation, but it was obvious in the way you pulled at his hair. “You’re already down there you might as well stay.”

“So, you want me to keep going,” Jun mumbled. “You want me to fuck you.”

You nodded, but Jun’s fingers didn’t return to you. Your frustration was undeniable.

“Say it,” Jun mumbled softly. You groaned.

“I want you to fuck me,” you blurted out. One of Jun’s hands pressed down on your inner thigh, and he eased his middle finger into you. It dragged another whine out of your mouth, and you had to pull one of your hands out of Jun’s hair to cover your face again.

“’S funny that you want to cover your face so badly,” Jun mumbled. “You usually want people to hear you.”

Jun began to slowly work his middle finger in and out of you, ignoring the way that you were wiggling underneath him.

“Come on y/n,” he urged. “Let me hear you. I love your voice.”

You bit down harder on your hand, determined not to let him hear you.

Jun slipped a second finger into you, scissoring his fingers once he was knuckles deep inside of you.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” Jun cooed. “Why don’t you just let me make you feel good? You know how much I like you don’t you?”

You shook your head against your hand.

“I really, really like you, y/n,” Jun mumbled softly. He leaned forward, his breath ghosted over your clit, making a shiver rip through your body. “I like everything about you. You’re so perfect.”

“You think I’m a hot head,” you blurted out in protest. A laugh went through Jun’s body.

“That’s not true,” he replied. He pressed a kiss to your clit which had you thrusting your hips up for more friction. Jun pressed hard on your thigh, keeping you pressed down. “I think that you get passionate about a lot of things.”

“That’s a nice way to say that someone’s a hot head,” you mumbled back. “I know how everyone sees me. Think I get mad over nothing.”

“I think you get mad for good reason,” Jun murmured back. He pressed another finger into you making another gasp rip through you. “I envy you in a way. Never let anyone wrong you without letting them know how you feel. Not a lot of people can do that.”

He scissored his fingers deep into you, dragging any words that you could muster to say right out of you. “I like that you get mad about things,” he reiterated. “And I like how loud you are about it. It’s good to have a strong opinion.”

“J-Jun,” left your mouth before you could stop it. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean it,” Jun murmured back. “And I’m willing to prove it to you.”

He pulled his fingers out of you and slipped them into his mouth, a moan vibrated through his body.

“You taste so good,” he said around his fingers. He pulled them out of his mouth and dropped his hands down to his pants, unbuckling them. “I would rather hang out with you over Haruno any day.”

You wanted to negate what he was saying but just as you went to, he was dropping his pants to the ground. Your jaw dropped a little and you pressed your thighs together at the side of Jun. His dick was huge. Why was his dick huge?

It was thick and long and-

“That’s not going to fit,” you blurted before you could stop yourself. You pressed the palm of your hand harder against your mouth, willing yourself to be quiet. Jun’s smile just grew.

“It’ll fit,” he promised you. “I’ll make it fit.”

One of Jun’s hands came to your hips, and his thumb rubbed a comforting circle into your skin.

“That okay? You wanna see if I can make it fit?”

He pressed his knee between yours. Your eyes fluttered shut and you raised your other hand to your face, feeling the heat on your fingertips.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Jun reminded you softly. “I’m not trying to force you to do anything. I-”

Before Jun could continue you let your thighs spread just enough to allow him enough space to push between them.

“Shut up already, I thought you were gonna make it fit? Can’t make it fit if you just keep standing there yabbering on about if I really want it or-”

“Y/n,” he interrupted. “Just need some real consent.”

As he spoke he pressed closer to you, the tip of his cock dipping between your wet folds, his head teasing your entrance.

“Want you to fuck me,” you blurted back. “Just do it already, Jun.”

Jun began to slowly press himself into you, his hands coming to either side of your body on the couch.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you blurted, your hands darted up, coming to either sides of Jun’s neck. You squeezed at the base as his cock slid slowly into you, the stretch sending a burn through your body. “Jun, oh my god.”

Jun’s own eyes fluttered shut, and he stopped pushing in. For a second you thought that he had finally gotten completely inside of you, but then you glanced down and he was barely halfway inside. You whined, wrapping your legs around his waist, making him slide a bit further into you even though right now he was trying not to.

“How the fuck, are you so fucking big?” you bit out, feeling tears begin to sprout at the edge of your eyes. “You’re fucking... You’ve got so much. Fucked plenty of guys who aren’t nearly as big as you and you know that was just-”

Jun interrupted you with a laugh, raising one of his hands to your cheek. His thumb brushed the corner of your eye, gathering some of the wetness and brushing it away.

“’s better to rip off the bandaid,” Jun said, but even as he spoke he didn’t move, letting you adjust to his length... and subsequent width. A burn was spreading through your body, but you ignored it, your fingers pulling at his shirt. You two were silent, the only thing to be heard were both of your heavy pants. Jun broke the silence. “You okay?”

“Shut up,” you mumbled, wiggling your hips, urging Jun further into you. His eyebrow rose slightly at your silent urging.

“Stop being a brat,” he murmured, as if he wasn’t the fucking king of being a brat. “Just ask for what you want.”

A pout pressed across your face.

“You know what I want,” you mumbled. There was no amusement on Jun’s face. “Gimme more.”

Your eyes flitted to the side, your face burning red. “I can take it.”

Jun’s lips flickered up into a brief smile, he pressed further into you, his hands lowering down your body, his fingers tightening on your hips. You could tell that he was fighting the urge to go crazy. You could feel the hesitation as he eased himself into you, his fingers tightening the further that he pushed into you until finally you felt a slightly more extreme stretch as he came to a stop in front of you.

Your fingers had trailed down to his biceps, and you squeezed them tightly.

“Oh god f-finally,” you were able to get out. “’s s-so much Jun.”

“I know,” Jun agreed softly, his voice muddled in pleasure. “I know it’s a lot. Is it too much?”

You shook your head in negation but even as you did you were pulling yourself up (subsequently Jun down) and you were burying your face in his neck, trying to hide your heavy breaths. You felt his throat vibrate a little in what you equated as amusement.

“You’re so fucking cocky,” you mumbled. “Just cause your dick is in me-”

Jun began to slide his cock out of you without warning, a half moan, half mewl ripped itself out of your body. You pressed your lips together hard to stop the noise, pushing your nose harder into Jun’s neck.

“I don’t have that much self-control y/n,” Jun replied, sounding wrecked. “Is it too much?”

The implication was fucking killing you. The subsequent stretch of being stuffed full and stretched to an extreme extent by Jun’s cock was fading from your brain, replaced instead by the imagery of Jun pounding you in a way that you could only imagine that he wanted to.

“It’s not too much,” you insisted softly. You pressed yourself back, your face still burning. “You don’t need to hold back anymore; I can take it.”

Jun immediately rose his hands to your biceps, pressing your body down as he slowly pushed himself back into you. He pushed past the point where you physically felt like you wouldn’t be able to take anymore, but instead of making you wriggle in pain you were moaning in pleasure.

You couldn’t help it, you felt like you were completely stuffed with him but it felt so good, and Jun’s own moans was only pushing the pleasure more prominently through your body.

“O-oh, f-fuck, J-jun,” you stammered out. Jun grunted pushing you more firmly down as he pulled back out again. He began to set a pace, that wasn’t exactly even. His thrusts were clearly just chasing a high. He was gaining pleasure just from being inside you and he was riding that high as far as it would take him.

You couldn’t help the loud pants and whimpers that were leaving your lips and Jun seemed to be taking delight in it. His lips pressed into a focused smile and he adjusted himself so that his hands had slipped under your head, his fingers threading into your hair, and his lips bumping against yours.

“You sound so fucking good,” Jun mumbled. “Always love everything that leaves your mouth but this? Nothing tops it. Nothing tops how good you sound with my cock stuffed inside of you, moaning my name...”

He was mostly rambling at this point, his lips pressing to yours every once in a while so that he could practically swallow your moans from within his distracting kisses. At the switch of position his thrusts became harder, shaking your body with each thrust. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, trying to center yourself but being completely unable to do so.

“You feel so good,” Jun continued against your lips, inbetween those suffocating kisses. He lowered one of his hands down to your clit. “So, warm and wet all for me huh?”

“It’s n-not-”

Jun didn’t let you finish that sentence. Another suffocating kiss, dragging the lie right from your lips.

“Try again,” Jun mumbled, and the words were making his tone turn different. Whiney. “Tell me the truth, that you’re all warm and wet for me. You don’t get like this for anyone else I know you don’t.”

You whined your protest, trying to avoid having to admit something so embarrassing.

“Tell me you like me,” he pressed. “Tell me about how much you’ve been wanting me.”

You thought maybe if you stayed quiet, he would forget the question. He snapped his hips into you, forcing his cock deeper in you than it had reached before.

“I-I-” You struggled to find your words. “’s all for you.”

“Mmm, you’re just saying that,” Jun pressed, that twinge of whininess coming through at the very end. He was just pressing because he wanted to hear it. He pulled back and his thrusts stopped momentarily. He sat up and grabbed you by your hips, dragging you against him, forcing his cock impossibly deep inside of you, the stretch burning through your body in such a good way. “Why don’t you tell me the truth.”

One of his hands dug into your thigh, while he pressed his other thumb to your clit firmly. You whined.

“I like you,” you bit out, aggravation vibrating through you. “Not much right now-” A sharp thrust in, and he pressed your thighs further open, spreading you impossibly open. “Fine, I like you so much... Always fucking nice, and listening to me. You’re so fucking pretty and quiet all the time, everyone wants you Jun. Stop pretending like you don’t know that everyone likes you.”

“I only want one person to like me,” Jun mumbled back. His face was so serious, but you didn’t really get to observe it as suddenly Jun was fucking you roughly all over again. “Want you y/n, just you.”

Any words that you could say back to him were now gone, his thrusts, filling your brain with nothing but muddled pleasure.

“So fucking perfect for me,” Jun mumbled, and you were only vaguely aware of the fact that you were grabbing at him desperately, pulling him down so that his lips were on yours. Openly desperate for his affection, silently begging him to come inside you.

You felt like the two of you had melded together both physically and mentally because it wasn’t long before you felt Jun start to come inside of you and you were coming along with him with a scream to his lips.

As soon as you felt Jun’s cock spurt the last squirrt of warm cum on your stomach you felt him squashing it against your stomach as he fell limp against you. As he fell against you, his hands found their way to your neck again, his lips pressing against yours.

Neither of you were able to breath all that well anymore, but it was even harder to breathe with his lips against yours. You two gasped against one anothers lips more than you actually kissed, until finally, Jun gave up, his thumbs brushing the base of your neck as he settled himself down next to you. You two breathed next to each other and the longer that you two laid there the more that you thought about it.

Thought about Jun’s thumbs on your neck. Thought about his cum on your stomach. The fact that you were naked right next to him. All of it was in essence... A dream. In practice... Humiliating.

You buried your face into Jun’s side, wrapping your arms around his stomach to hide yourself in his body. Jun wrapped his arms around you too, letting you hide there.

Your mind was racing. How had you gotten here again? Would Jun think that you were telling the truth when you said you liked him? Maybe you could convince him that it was just something in you said in a fit of intimacy because his cock was in you.

His cock...

You peeked from Jun’s body to look at Jun’s cock, which was now limp but somehow still just as massive.

“Are you okay?” Jun asked after a few moments. “Maybe I should have gone slower.”

“Weren’t you the one who said it was better to rip of the bandaid?” You mumbled back, annoyed. “I’m fine.”

Jun hummed, and was quiet for a moment, his thumb rubbing small circles into your neck.

“You sure?” He asked, hesitantly. You nodded.

“I’m sure...” You were silent for a few moments. “I... Liked it.”

And your face was burning again, and you were burying your face into Jun’s body again.

Jun sighed, a big heavy sigh.

“Me too,” he breathed. “You know how long I’d been wanting to do this? Do you know how long I’ve liked you. But you’re always so mad at everyone else you don’t notice me.”

“I don’t notice you?” You blurted out, you raised your head back to his. “You’re always fucking talking to everyone. Wen Junhui. Friends with everyone.”

Jun hummed.

“I’m not friends with everyone,” he disagreed. “Just a few people.”

You scoffed your disbelief,

“Just a few?” You asked. “There’s Cheol, Wonwoo, Mingyu, Seokmin, Haruno, Chenle, Renjun, Ku-” You were interrupted by Jun shifting, his hands capturing your face between them. He gave you a very serious look.

“Stop talking about other people,” he murmured. “I don’t care about those other people the way I care about you. Especially not when you are next to me and you are naked, and perfect and all mine.”

You glared at him.

“Yangyang, Kris, Handong-”

Jun squeezed your face harder, and you stopped, a pout crossing your lips.

“Who ever said that I was all yours?” You asked instead. Jun frowned slightly, dropping his hands from your cheeks to your shoulders.

“You don’t want to be?”

Jun shifted so that his back was against the couch, and he dragged you up onto his lap.

“No one said that either,” you mumbled softly. You pressed your hands against his chest, your fingers creeping up under his shirt. “Can’t believe I let you fuck me with your shirt on... Like I’m some whore.”

Jun’s hands drifted to your hips, his thumbs brushed over your hip bones. He just hummed, not really commenting on your words. His eyes instead swept over your body, closely observing you. You pressed your lips together.

“So you agree with me? You think I’m a whore?” You were just being confrontational, and Jun immediately caught that.

“No one said that,” he said, throwing your words right back at you. “You’re just embarrassed.” As if you didn’t know that. “Just tell me if you want me to take my shirt off.”

You felt like it was teasing, but his face was so genuine. Your fingers clenched against his chest.

“Jun... Do you really mean it?” You asked softly. “You actually like me?”

“Why would I lie about that?” He asked back. He slid his hands up your body, leaning up so that he could place his hands on the back of your neck, thumbs pressed just under your jaw, pulling you down so that he could pull you into a deep kiss.

You grumbled into his lips, but your heart was soaring. He loosened his grip on you and you raised your own hands to his neck, your thumb brushing over his adams apple.

“You’d lie about it to fuck me,” you replied pointedly.

“I told you that I liked you while I was fucking you,” he reminded. “And now... I really like you y/n.”

You lowered your head to the side, a smile crossing your face that you were trying to hide. He whined at that, his grip on you tightening so that he could push your face back to see.

“You know you have the prettiest smile? Please don’t hide from me. Hide from anyone else, but not me. I like you too much for that,” he assured softly.

“It’s just a smile Jun,” you murmured.

“It’s not just a smile. It’s your smile.”

“I’m leaving,” you decided finally. You lowered your hands back down to his stomach and you patted him. “I’m going to my place. And maybe I will see you later.”

“Maybe,” Jun echoed, sitting up as you began to collect your clothes.

“Don’t text me,” you warned him. “I don’t like you like that.”

Jun hummed his response.

“Okay, I won’t,” he assured. You pulled your clothes on. You gave him a side glance.

“I’m serious,” you insisted.

“Don’t forget to take a shower,” he replied. “You still have cum on your stomach.”

Your face burned red and you decided not to say a word to him. You turned away from him on the heels of your feet and left without another word. You were only in the car when your phone buzzed.

Stupid: Tonight was fun 🙂 we should do it again but just dinner

Tomorrow at 7?

Your heart skipped a beat.

You hated him.

You slid your phone open and clicked to call him. Your phone, luckily for him, rang only twice.

“I said not to text me,” you protested immediately.

You heard him smiling in his voice.

“Right,” he agreed. Your face reddened.

“And it’s presumptuous to assume I’m just free tomorrow. What? I should just be around whenever you want me to be?”

You paused, but didn’t let him continue.

“What’s even the point of me going home right now if I’m just going to see you again at 7?” You continued.

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “You could always stay I guess. We’ll watch a movie. I’ll make breakfast.”

“I guess,” you parroted back at him. It just made him laugh.

“Come back upstairs y/n.”

You were silent for a few seconds and in those few seconds your lips flickered up into a smile, exposing your true intentions.

“Okay,” your voice was uncharacteristically soft, your fast-beating heart slowing down at the comfortability in Jun’s words. “I’ll be just a second.”

-

Taglist: @vintageot5, @woo8hao, @wonudazed, @kkakkameori

[writerracha]

can you pls consider writing a smut where changbin or han comes home stressed from work a best friend! reader offers a back massage (make ‘em shirtless!) . but reader gets turned on from how pretty and broad their back is and basically tells them why they can’t continue the massage bc of that and then forth (sry that this was so long 😞 i’ve just been so obsessed w this thought)

can I consider??? omg yes please this is so hot :( hope you like it even if it's a little short!! i also got your other request and i'll be writing it soon!!

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ release the tension — changbin x female reader

↻ 0.9k :: best friends :: cw. explicit smut. no specific warnings, some dirty talk.

↻ 18+ mdni :: not proof read, pls be kind :: masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Changbin arrives at your apartment about twenty minutes after he texts you asking to come over. He had a rough day at work, he says, looking tired and stressed. You let him in, the both of you sitting down in the living room.

"Did something happen?" you ask him.

He shakes his head, staring down at his cup. "Not really. I just... I've been feeling so stressed. I'm so tense, my whole body hurts."

"Your back again?" you wince.

Changbin nods. "I'm scared I'll pull something again."

You bite your lip, trying to come up with a solution. You hate seeing your best friend so worried. "How about a massage?" you suggest. "I remember it helped you back then."

Changbin gives you a quick look and shrugs. "I mean, I don't want to bother you..."

"You don't bother me at all," you smile. "Come on, sit in front of me."

Changbin slides on the floor, placing himself in between your legs. You shuffle on the edge of the couch, putting your hands on his shoulders.

"Just let me know if I hurt you."

You start massaging his shoulders, trying to find the knot in his muscles. You have to move your fingers down his back, feeling the tense muscles, pushing and rolling against them. Changbin sighs in obvious relief - but your fingers keep slipping on the material of his shirt.

"Hm, Bin?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind taking your shirt off? I think it would be easier."

A short silence follows your words, and you bite your lip. It shouldn't be any trouble, right? You've known Changbin for so long, and you've seen him shirtless plenty of times. But it would be the first time since you've started developing feelings for him.

Those feelings have sneaked up on you.

You don't know what started it, exactly - but one day you found yourself staring at your best friend, at his dark eyes and handsome face, your thoughts derailing at how his strong arms held you, wondering how it would feel to kiss his plump lips. Changbin was always handsome - but now you can't stop fantasizing about him. Which is a problem. He is your best friend. You can't think about him that way.

But it's hard, especially as he removes his t-shirt, the fabric revealing his soft skin and defined muscles. His hair is a mess of black curls in which you desperately want to slide your fingers.

"Is that better?" he asks.

"Y-yeah," you gulp.

His skin is so smooth under your fingertips. Your eyes trail down his spine, taking in every muscle, every scar, every beauty mark. Changbin is strong. So strong. He could lift you up easily. You wonder how it would feel to dig your nails inside his back as he buries his thick cock into you and -

"Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"Everything ok?"

You realize you've stopped massaging him, your imagination taking you where you really shouldn't go. You are soaking wet, and you need to resist bucking your hips against the fabric of the couch just to provide your throbbing folds some pressure. Fuck, you need to touch yourself, you need to cum, this can't do.

"S-sorry. I got distracted," you admit, a little breathless. You shake your head. "Y-you know what? I think I need to stop, I just... I can't focus."

Changbin turns around, looking up at you. Fuck. His eyes shine in the darkness, curls brushing his ears, and you catch a glimpse of the front of his chest, his pectorals, his belly button, his -

"What were you thinking about?"

You frown at the knowing smirk on his lips. "N-nothing."

Are his eyes getting darker? Why is he only looking at you this way? He continues to turn around until he is on his knees, his upper body entirely visible to you, and you have to focus really hard so as to not squeeze your thighs together. Fuck, how can someone look this good?

You want your best friend to ruin you.

You want to become a trembling mess in his arms.

You want him to fuck you until you can't remember your own name.

This is wrong.

"Do you think I can't smell you? And those little red cheeks..."

You swallow, trying to come up with an excuse, but your brain is empty.

"B-Binnie..."

"Tell me you don't want to push your legs together, huh? Need to relieve yourself a little, baby? Is your pussy wet?"

You can't say a word - and you realize that Changbin has put both his hands on your legs, holding them apart. He smiles.

"Did my back turn you on?"

You can't deny it. It would be useless to. "Y-yes."

He senses your hesitation. "It's ok, Y/N. My cock has been hard ever since you started touching me," he admits, and you glance down at his crotch. There is a visible bulge there, pushing against the fabric. You bite your lip. He smiles. "It's your hands. Those cute little hands... I want them everywhere on my body."

You reach for him. "Fuck, Changbin, everything about you turns me on..."

Changbin chuckles. "Fucking finally."

He pushes himself up, grabbing you into a desperate, needy kiss. His lips taste good, his tongue sliding around yours. You arch your back, moaning in his mouth, and Changbin pushes his hand against your core, making you moan harder.

"I can feel even above your clothes how fucking wet you are," he sighs, breathing hard. "You can fuck yourself on my fingers and then I'll make you cum around my cock, how does that sound?"

You smile. "As long as you let me mark that back of yours."

Changbin laughs. "Deal."

[llyfrenfys]

Some really good notes from my post courtesy of @margridarnauds about that person accidentally using a white nationalist slogan to support the Welsh language:

I know someone who is doing a PhD on the Far Right and the co-option of cultural movements and these tags are bang on. Its the difference between a healthy nationalism and an unhealthy nationalism. A lot of this goes for Irish nationalism as well as it does for Welsh nationalism.

There's nothing wrong with (and arguably a lot right with) minority language preservation. It can be used for great good (strengthens community ties, preserves culture) but if co-option is not guarded against readily, it can also be used for great evil (see: using minority language struggles as an argument against immigration, for example).

The Far Right sees the cultural preservation of anything (white) and it's like a bat signal. These things are magnets for white supremacists and assorted fascists of all kinds. Which is why it is so goddamn important to be vigilant against people like that hijacking your movement.

I see a worrying amount of Welsh nationalists use (accidentally or not) the language of the far right to argue for Welsh language preservation. It can be as innocuous as advocating for a Welsh Academie Francaise to as obvious as insinuating that Wales must be kept "ethnically" Welsh in order to keep out foreign influence on the language. I see this go unchecked all the time in various Facebook groups for Welsh independence (most of which I've left since admins of these pages either don't know or don't care that people use their groups to share these sentiments).

Nationalism ≠ Fascism - but if you don't keep an eye on the company you're keeping, any well-meaning nationalist/independence or language preservation movement can be hijacked to promote hate. I only know a scant amount because I was only vaguely considering joining Yes Cymru a few years before they all went sideways (but I remember Owen Exie Hurcum talking about this on Twitter at the time) but the leadership of Yes Cymru began to squeeze out minorities from the group- nonwhite folks, gay people, trans people etc. Whole thing put me off from joining. I don't remember the full details but from the testimonies of others, the group was hijacked and steered into a reactionary way of being. Considering a large amount of Welsh nationalists also idolise groups like the FWA (Free Wales Army - a Welsh nationalist group formed in 1963 which tried to emulate the IRA in Ireland, with little success- mostly just playing paramilitary dress up) - whose symbol is this flag:

Even if the flag itself is based on Welsh folklore and is supposedly an entirely innocent, non fash design- it still is like a beacon to the Far Right who will take any amount of symbolic validation as a cue to join your movement and derail it for their own ends.

Which is why Celtic scholars, people with casual interest in Celtic languages and/or their respective cultures and civic nationalists alike need to be vigilant against those who would co-opt the field for their own twisted hate campaign.

So, one final thought,

Returning to my original post responding to that American chiming into Welsh politics from overseas. Please PLEASE be careful when wading into politics that isn't yours. Where the Far Right are involved, it doesn't take much to cause a dumpster fire - if you aren't 'on the ground' with these issues so to speak, you aren't in the firing line if your comments go sideways and enable/provoke the Far Right in this country.

If you have an interest in Celtic languages, countries and politics- you have a duty to be responsible with what you do and say. This isn't to say that you cannot engage with these topics- but that you should exercise caution lest you accidentally worsen an already delicate situation.

This has been your regularly scheduled Celtic anti-fascist tedtalk. Please reblog to make sure more people become aware of how delicate things can be and how to prevent fascists from getting a foothold in this field. Thank you.

[archivalofsins]

Let's talk about Mikoto's first two interrogation questions and why I'm super not interested or surprised by any of his answers. For the record so I don't have to go over all this again here is a post that links to a good chunk of what I've written discussing Mikoto already that I worked on with @apatchworkstar.

At least the big stuff. So, people can look back and see how my logic has developed over time when it comes to him specifically. Because I'm about to throw out some hard to swallow truths.

One being

Just because someone keeps claiming they were "Trying so hard." doesn't mean it's fucking true. Secondly, even if it is true that doesn't excuse or give them the right to murder anyone.

So, let's get libelous real quick and drag this drama kings name through the fucking mud.

Sorry, my liege you're getting a bit carried away~

Okay whoa, whoa- Wait, wait! I thought you liked Mikoto. Shouldn't you be happy people are taking his problems seriously and treating these issues with respect. I mean work abuse like any sort of abuse is bad.

Okay, point created to simply allow me to further elaborate on my own train of thought and where I'm at. Yes, I do care about and like Mikoto as a character. That does not mean I just accept when someone is feeding me bullshit.

Literally we've seen everyone else going to the places or doing the jobs that triggered the incident they were involved in. Mu has been at her school since Milgram started. Yuno has been shown working with her clients since Milgram started.

Kazui has been shown at the bar since Milgram started. Hell we've even seen Futa at his college.

Mikoto Kayano has not been shown at work or doing his job since Milgram started. There have only been allusions made to his work. The one image we have in Undercover isn't even confirmed to be his actual fucking office and could be a desk in his home that the chair in his mental space and home goes to. So, what evidence do we have that his job was difficult outside of texts he actively ignored that states he left without notice to go home and attempted to call him back in something he actively decided not to do or even respond to as is his right as a working adult?

We would actually have to make multiple assumptions in order to frame the instance we see there as abusive outside of damn that's an ungodly hour. Yet this man isn't fucking special some people work nights and he's stated he's meant to work nights since the beginning of fucking Milgram. That's a part of the company he decided he wanted to be in, chose to enter, and refused to leave.

Trial one written interrogation question six.

Q.06  What do you hate? Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence

He's worked overnight enough to fucking know he hates it but-

Trial two written interrogation question two.

Q.02 Haven't you considered changing your job? Mikoto: No way; I went through a lot to get into such a big company. Even if it's draining, if I work hard my efforts will pay off.

Something he's had no issue stating from the beginning. From the start of Milgram Mikoto's concern has been I better not get fired because of you and if I do you better take responsibility for it. One of his voice lines from the beginning of this literally being-

Mikoto first voice drama 3:46

"I have my own life, you know? And I just got accepted into the company that I was aiming for… If I get fired, you’ll have to take responsibility for that."

From the beginning, through everything he's done and said Mikoto has shown where his priorities lie. It's not with getting home or seeing his family like the rest of the prisoners. No, his priority has always been getting the hell out of here and back to his job because his life plans have been derailed enough. Because his life wasn't meant to be this way and he has things he needs to do to get the life he believes he's entitled to.

Going to his job regardless of how draining or terrible it looks from an outsider's perspective is and always has been a part of and the biggest part of his life plan. He never trash talks his company for how it treats him despite bringing it up in both his written interrogations.

In fact, it's the exact opposite.

Written interrogation one question eight.

Q.08  What’s the most rewarding part of your current job? Mikoto: I mean, it’s the top advertising agency in the industry?Anyone would be proud to be a part of it. I put a lot of work in just to get here, too.

Even framing it like a question like are you stupid- Do you live under a fucking rock??? Is that it? it's the top advertising agency in the fucking industry.

Are you daft warden-

What's more important than the status and recognition one implicitly gets from being able to work in a company like that? If this place is in my work history and I manage to go freelance later on, in good standing with this company, do you know how liberating that would be. Do you know how quickly people would have faith in me to do what they were hiring me for with this place as a reference-

I mean.

Q.04  Are you picky when it comes to fashion? Mikoto: Of course I am. Nobody would want to ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, right?

I'm fucking tailor-made for business. I live breath and eat this shit because I fucking need to. Because it's a stepping stone for my dream. You wouldn't want to get in the way of that, right~ Oh, that's unlikable I don't fucking care if there's a corporate ladder I'm going to fucking climb it. Survival of the fittest and all that. Though it's improper to admit that as a working adult, you know? If you can't communicate properly that's bad for business.

You can't, for example, go around being angry all the time even if you want to. You've gotta be able to play ball and take a few punches to get anywhere in this world. How do you expect people to want to work with you otherwise?

20/06/15 Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly. Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here? ……also the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross. Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right? Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

It doesn't matter if your kindness is genuine or not. As long as you're able to close that gap and make people like you then you can sell them anything. It'll pay off eventually you know. Though it's better to do anything you can to make that eventually sooner rather than later~

20/05/25 Mikoto: ……I’ve really got caught up in some trouble, huh. What even is this place? It’s probably a TV reality show or something. ……but to think someone in this day and age would try to do a project that could land them in so much trouble. Uh…… Mahiru: Ah…… I’m Shina Mahiru! You can just call me Mahiru. And you are……? Mikoto: Kayano Mikoto. I’m fine with just Mikoto too. Ahh, I’m glad there’s someone here who’s easy to talk to…… It’s nice to meet you, Mappy. Mahiru: ………… ……Mappy???

Mikoto trial one written interrogation question nine.

Q.09 Why do you give everyone nicknames? Mikoto: I guess it became a habit when I was at university. Having a nickname for someone that only you call them comes with a lot of advantages, do recommend.

As long as you can sell it with a smile they'll warm up eventually. Yet, being disliked by certain people can be social and career suicide you know~

20/07/08 Yuno: Hey, Mikoto-san. Don’t you get tired being so conscious of others all the time? I mean, you’re free to do what you want though. Mikoto: Eh…… Aha, what are you talking about? I’m not being conscious or anything. It’s normal to make sure to get along with everyone, right? I mean, when you put it like that, aren’t you the same, Yun-chan? You’re always smiling and getting on with everyone too. Yuno: I don’t smile unless I actually want to. But with you, when you’re talking with other people it’s more like you only smile deliberately. So I kept thinking, don’t your cheeks get tired? Ah, is this just what happens when you become a working adult? ……you see people like that sometimes. Mikoto: Haha, you don’t mince your words do you. …….that was never my intention, but now that you mention it, yeah, I guess I do. This might’ve been since I started my job too…… But like- If I was rude to everyone I met, all my efforts would come to nothing, right?

Yuno trial one voice drama 7:59

"Hm, what this? A lecture. Are you a believer in seishinron? I hate them more than anything else, you know?"

Basically, someone who believes that any problem can be worked through by just putting in a bit more effort.

"If I work hard my efforts will pay off."

Ha, ha- Not everyone has the privilege to smile whenever they feel like it. Some people's entire futures are riding on if the people around them decide to play nice or not and it all rides on them to play nice first- You know? Maybe that is what they call being a working adult. Maybe people like this just don't understand. Is it difficult to comprehend~ Huh, is this hard for you warden?

Well, you were given a pretty cushiony job out of the blue. It must be oddly comfortable for you. Judging others from your position and then sleeping for several months. They even provide you three meals a day while I can barely get a lunch break- Ah, jealous~

Guards, just-

"Come to know me as an honest man."

See me as someone hardworking and family oriented. See me as someone trying to show those he cares about that they can do these things too-

Q.01 Do you have a good relationship with your little sister? Mikoto: Absolutely. I want to show her how her big brother is working hard in the city.

See me as a man that believes in the myth of meritocracy. Someone who believes if they just work hard enough, if I push myself a little more regardless of how I'm treated it'll work out eventually. All of my efforts will be rewarded because they deserve to be. That's how these things should go. So, society should recognize and reward those who do good work consistently.

Not just people they find likable or easy to talk to. My work should be able to speak for itself. So, if I just keep working it'll all come together but I can't do that while being held here. How can I achieve my dreams if I can't even get to work huh? What happens if i get fired while here I have a life to you know-

I've been working so much- I had such a hard time. I've even played along with this silly joke- I've been such a good sport, right? Right? So- why tell me why can't you just be a good sport back? Aren't I entitled to a little bit of leniency? I'm a victim here too, ya know! So, why?

Tell me WHY-

It’s the same anywhere I go! It’s like what’s WRONG isn’t WRONG!/ "Why, why-"

"If only I were never born, if only..."/ "If I was gone, If I had just disappeared..."

20/05/31 Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……? Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time? Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is…… Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

Mikoto trial one written interrogation question 3.

Q.03 Have you ever had a romantic partner? Mikoto: Of course I have. Do I really look like I’d be that unpopular?

"Hey now, I saved you, right? So why in the hell are you crying?"/ "Why won’t you stop hurting me? My heart is all dried up. My sorry spells must be wearing off."

"I can't take it anymore..."/ "Why?"

"Why, why, I’m so sorry."/ " “I’m sorry” won’t reach anyone."

Just-

"If I am a bad girl don’t hate me."/"Come to know me as an honest man, eat your words, gulp them down."

It must be a tad embarrassing to fall for the same trick twice in the same series.

Hold on. It’s not my fault- You knew it, right?

Guards, you must be working really hard. It's difficult to figure out under so much pressure with so little time. I mean you only had all of trial one and the three months after Double.

"Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it- Ahhh!"

"I was miserable, someone please help me."/ "I was having such a hard time."

"I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?"/ "All I did was dream, and that’s what you found GUILTY?"

“I” will save “me”.

It's no one fault really~

So, why don't we just all get along for now? Like working adults. No one has to judge anyone here. Let's all just get along!

Mikoto first voice drama 3:10

Milgram tells me that you killed someone. That's enough for me. "Why are you just blindly believing that? There's no getting through to you...!"

Muu's second voice drama 14:56

"Anyway… I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe too. Ah, actually, couldn’t you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won’t run amok, and you won’t have to think about all the difficult stuff."

But I guess some of it is my fault. Maybe it’s ok as it is./I'm probably not to blame. It's probably nothing. I'm probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon.

The interesting thing about both Mikoto and Es' behavior is that they both blindly believe in systems that leave them very little to no protection or are actively exploiting them. They both believe their jobs to be their salvation. That if they just keep working it'll all turn out right.

That if they just do their jobs without question everything will work itself out. That the only way out is through. Es all of trial two has rationalized the results of trial one by saying they were just doing their job. Following what they were told. How is that any different from Mikoto. How is that any different from Amane?

Everyone needs something to believe in from day to day. Something that allows them to feel secure in their own position and feel as if they have some control over their lives even if in reality they have very little.

People need beliefs to tell them how to function in systems. Yet those beliefs can end up protecting systems from deserved scrutiny. In a way making people complacent in them or leading to them perpetuating these systems without question. Because when people are trying to keep themselves from going under they don't have time to question the powers that put them in the position to go under to beging with.

When you're drowning everything looks like a lifepreserver even the things that will make a person sink faster. People use the beliefs that they cultivate over the course of their lives to rationalize if the treatment they're receiving is correct or not-

It must be a mistake right?

To tell them if their own response to something was justified or not.

"Eat this! Don’t act like you have no idea! We won’t forgive you! You’re the crazy one! Ban-Ba-Bang!"/"If you’re going to break your vow- Here and now, it’s my turn to tear you apart. So there is no second time, I’ll give back the judgment that you gave to me."

Something that makes them feel like their decisions were the right ones,

"What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me."/ "Maybe, perhaps... or... could it come true... like- It’s for the sake of true love, who wouldn’t lie for that?"

Something that tells them-

It's not my fault.

[misc-obeyme]

Hi there! Can i request the brothers reacting to MC having heterochromia eyes (two different color eyes). Im pretty sure there might be some demons that have it as well but what if just for this request, they dont. So the brothers never saw anyone have it until MC, although what do you think about that? Do you think there might be some demons that have heterochromia eyes?

Hellooo, anon!

You know, I hadn't considered this before, but I absolutely think there are some demons that have heterochromia. Especially if we consider that some demons are based on animals, there are animals with a higher likelihood of having heterochromia than humans. I also think you could argue that all our demons have a version of heterochromia. Partial heterochromia is usually where you've got a chunk of a different color in one eye, so it's slightly different where our boys are concerned. But each of them have at least two colors in their eyes. But if we don't count that, I do think there are probably at least a few demons that have two completely different colored eyes. I would think they're probably pretty rare, though.

Of course I wrote the request as though the brothers had never seen it before, as you asked! I also only considered complete heterochromia, with both eyes being completely different colors. I think this can be acquired by disease and injury in some cases, but for the sake of this request, I went with it just being genetic.

Thanks for the request!

the brothers react to GN!MC with two different color eyes/heterochromia

Warnings: none!

Lucifer

When he first saw you, back at RAD the day you were brought to the Devildom, he was instantly struck by your eyes. He had never seen anyone with eyes like yours before.

He wanted to ask you about it, but he decided to wait until a quieter time. When he does ask, you'll have to explain to him that this is just how you were born. It's rare, but it happens sometimes.

He likes this unusual trait of yours. Often says something to you if you're avoiding his gaze. Look at him, MC. He wants to see those different colored eyes of yours.

They're his favorite thing to compliment, too. If you're in an argument with him, Lucifer will completely derail you by talking about your unusual eyes, how he likes to lose himself in their different colors. You get to decide if this works on you or not.

Mammon

Huh? What's up with your eyes, human? This comes directly after he's just been threatening to eat you when you first meet. He's surprised enough to just straight out ask you the moment he notices.

You'll have to take the time to explain heterochromia to him at a later time. He doesn't care about the details, but he is absolutely fascinated by them.

Mammon loves them, but tries to act like he doesn't, as usual. You catch him staring into your eyes from across the room more than once.

Because he's looking at your eyes all the time, he's extremely familiar with how they change depending on your mood. He can tell exactly how you're feeling at any given time just by meeting your eyes. Acts like he knows nothing, but you can tell.

Leviathan

Woah. MC. Y-your eyes are so pretty. He doesn't really have a chance to realize until after he's done yelling at Mammon about owing him money. But as soon as he registers your eyes, this is what he says.

He loves them, he likes how unique they are. He's never seen a human with eyes like yours, or anyone else for that matter.

When he's more comfortable with you, he's going to tell you about all the anime characters he knows about who also have heterochromia. You can be sure he'll want you to cosplay as some of them. You won't even need to use contacts!

Levi's too shy to look into your eyes all the time, but he kind of wants to. They're so different, he can't really help it. But he'll only glance at them every once in a while, if he thinks you won't notice.

Satan

Notices immediately, but doesn't say anything right away. He first notices them when Lucifer introduces him to you that first day.

Satan already knows what heterochromia is, but he's never seen it in real life. Starts by asking you questions about how you have it. He thinks it's likely genetics, but isn't it possible for humans to acquire it in certain ways, too?

Not at all concerned about staring too much. He'll look into your differently colored eyes all day if he wants to. And sometimes he does. If this makes you nervous, he'll stop if you ask.

Absolutely pulls out the poetic descriptions of your eyes when he's trying to get romantic with you. But sometimes, he's simply struck by their beauty. Your eyes truly are unique, MC.

Asmodeus

He also notices right away that first day at RAD, but doesn't say anything until later. You look pretty overwhelmed, so he's not going to add onto that by asking you all kinds of questions.

But you can bet he is bursting because he loves them so much. MC, your eyes are so amazing! Please say you'll model for him, he has so many ideas for beautiful photos!

His favorite thing is to do your eye makeup so he can compliment the rarity of your two different colored eyes. Piles compliments on you about them while he does it. Insists on taking a million photos.

Just like his brothers, though, Asmo is not immune to the desire to just… look at them. He's getting a little lost in them. He can't charm you, but he starts to think you have the ability to charm him with your eyes alone.

Beelzebub

It takes him some time to mention your heterochromia. Not because he didn't notice, but just because he doesn't feel the need to comment on it. You must already be aware of how unusual your eyes are. He doesn't want to make you feel weird about it.

But eventually he can't help it. They're so different. They kind of remind him of himself and Belphie. Twins that look nothing like each other - part of a set and yet different.

Has no problem staring at them, either. Beel can get pretty intense without meaning to. He's already pretty quiet, so to have him just stare into your eyes can be a little intimidating. Say something to him about it and he'll apologize. He didn't even realize he was doing it.

Sorry, MC. He just really likes your pretty eyes. He wants to look at them all the time. You end up getting used to it and it's not like he's the only brother who can't stop looking into your eyes all the time.

Belphegor

Considering how Belphie first sees you from behind the door that keeps him locked in the attic, it's kind of surprising that he noticed at all. But he did. He noticed right away, but he didn't say anything. He doesn't say anything until much later, after you've made your pact with him.

He wants to tell you how much he likes your two different colored eyes, but he doesn't want you to think he cares too much. So he starts out saying how he's noticed the way Beel finds your eyes so interesting.

Call him out on it and he'll admit, he likes them, too. Of course he does, MC. He's never seen anyone with eyes like yours.

You're the only person with which he'll try to wake up first. If you're napping together or he just decided to spend the night in your bed, he'll do his best to wake up before you. Because it turns out that he really loves to watch your differently colored eyes flutter open when you wake up. Won't tell you this, but you figure it out when he always wakes up before you.

part two with the dateables and Luke

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[lightvialamp]

january 12 - stretch || @jegulus-microfic || wc: 787 || pt 2, pt 3

James felt sunlight dance over his face and hands as he pushed his glasses, charmed to become sunglasses according to the level of light in the room (hours of work, but he was proud of the finished product), up into his hair. He sighed. He could feel eyes on him again, which was fine, he didn’t mind being watched really, but it was Regulus—he knew without even opening his eyes—and this had happened every day since it had gotten warm enough to leave the castle and hang out by the lake. 

James had half a mind to open his eyes and catch him in the act, but he knew Regulus would immediately retreat, and he didn’t feel like waiting until tomorrow to try and actually speak with him. He stretched leisurely, for show, before packing up his things and heading in the direction of the castle, pulling out the map surreptitiously on his way. Regulus was where James knew he would be, right on the edge of the forest and tucked behind a dip in the lake that most people walked right past. 

He looked around before he doubled back, grinning to himself at the prospect of sneaking up on Regulus, maybe watching him go red at being caught. Nothing serious, but he had a free hour, and a flustered Regulus was always fun to talk to. 

He walked around the back of the clearing and leaned against a tree, watching Regulus read one of the countless books that he always kept miniaturized in his pocket. He huffed a laugh to himself– Regulus wasn’t the only one who watched. 

James shifted his weight from one foot to the other, preparing to walk further into the clearing, but before he could, Regulus looked up, caught James’ eye, and froze completely. James would have laughed if he didn’t know how painfully shy Regulus was, and how much anxiety a single interaction could give him. Sirius felt the same way sometimes, though he hid it behind boisterous energy and charm that had been bred into him since he could talk. Regulus hadn’t been given the same attention. 

“Hi.” James decided to get the ball rolling the best way he knew how– going with the flow. 

Regulus didn’t say anything, choosing instead to flick his eyes from James’, down to his lap and then back up again, lip curling up derisively but a hint of nervousness still evident in his demeanor. 

“Whatcha doing over here?” James tried. 

“Reading, Potter. New fad, doubt you’ve heard of it. Please go away now,” Regulus replied all in one breath. 

“Okay yeah cool, not a problem,” James said, grinning. “I was just. You know. Curious if you wanted anything from me.”

Regulus flushed immediately, his pale skin not doing anything to hide his reaction. “I don’t want anything to do with you, actually. Thanks for asking.”

“So you’re just staring for fun?”

“What are you talking about?” James didn’t realize it was possible for Regulus to turn any redder, but his blush deepened, spreading across his neck and down under his collar at James’ question. 

“Oh it’s just. I see you, you know. You’re not exactly covered by anything. And generally, staring is considered rude. I don’t mind, being the benevolent soul that I am, but you might want to–” James tapped his head twice at this last bit. “--keep that in mind. For future…staring purposes.”

“Merlin,” Regulus huffed, seemingly over his bout of embarrassment at being caught out. “Thank you for the tip, oh Benevolent Master, but I won’t be needing it.”

“Oh?” 

“No.” Regulus cocked his head to the side, giving James a full once-over before speaking, his voice now soft, verging on sultry. “What makes you think I didn’t want you to notice?”

James’ mouth went dry, and instinctively, he took a step closer to Regulus, drawn in by some force— the same one that had derailed this conversation so entirely from what he’d been expecting. Regulus laughed once, a bright, sharp thing, as he gathered his things, stood up, and made for the castle. He turned around right before the edge of the clearing, backlit and a little bit breathtaking. How James had never noticed this before, he wasn’t sure. 

“See you tomorrow, Potter. Same time, I assume,” Regulus tossed at him before turning back around. He was halfway up the hill by the time James had gathered the wherewithal to say anything at all. 

“I guess so, Regulus,” he muttered under his breath, feeling like he had just lost a game he hadn’t even known he was playing. He started his own trek across the grass as he thought. Regulus had his attention now. And James loved a good game.

[salemoleander]

I think what you osserved about Cleo and Lizzie is a result of many factors.

Gender is of course one and a major one at that but it cannot be the only one as both Pearl and Gem have much more fandom characterization. Pearls characterisation especially can be attribuited almost entirely to Double Life.

There is also the factor there are a lot less females then males in the mcyt scene and that has always been a problem. But this means that there will always be way more discussion over man because there are so much more.

We should also consider that Lizzie did have a lot of characterisation back in the Empires s1 days that has been swept under the rug as she became inactive for long periods of time, she had a characterisation but this characterisation didn't even apply to the life series because she was never in it like the others, she missed 3rd life, Double life and Limited life which definitely didn't do her any favours. Mumbos characterization on the other hand still existed because he was much more active and when he was in hiatus his fellow Hermits kept reminding us about him... But Lizzie kinda dips for a while and then comes back and is never really mentioned.

Cleo always had the problem of being simplified as either chaotic arsonist, doting mother figure or talented artigian with dark humor... It's been since the 2020 that I have seen people discussing about her characterisation being basically cut down to one of these 3 personality instead of actually giving her actual personality. This was because newbies at characterization back in season 6 usually put either her or Stress as the nurturing mom friend in fanfiction who then other newbies took as inspiration and it kinda stuck around in a loop.

In a way one would need to analyze this problem at the olden days of minecraft content but then we would be here for days.

Putting most of my response under a cut because it got LONG.

To start, I will point out that "this is the result of many factors" and "in a way you'd need to analyze the origins of this, but we don't have time for that" are extremely common & toothless reasons to derail talking about misogyny (or any other -ism).

I do not think you are intentionally replicating that, but anytime an immediate response is "well it's not really ____-ism, and it's so complicated we could never hope to unpack it," that maybe isn't a useful addition to the discussion.

"[Gender] cannot be the only [factor] as both Pearl and Gem have much more fandom characterization"

I agree that gender is not the only factor, but I think going "well SOME women aren't as affected by misogyny so clearly it can't just be misogyny" is inaccurate. Also, if you look at Pearl and Gem's characterization - Gem is pigeonholed to a very particular type of cutesy fighting-princess role, akin to many YA protagonists of late.

Pearl does have more complex characterization from specifically Double Life, but the majority of analysis & attention only started going to Pearl after she won. As DL was airing, much more attention was paid to Desert Duo Redux and Team Rancher and Impdubs etc. I also think the fandom has taken to holding up Pearl as a token and going 'but look, we can write women! Look how many emotions she has. She's sad and likes murder and dogs."

There is also the factor there are a lot less females then males in the mcyt scene and that has always been a problem. But this means that there will always be way more discussion over man because there are so much more.

I agree, it has been a problem forever (I've been watching MCYT since 2012. I watched Cleo & then False join HC. Believe Me, I Know.) But you'll notice my critique wasn't [All Life Series Dudes] are talked about more than [The Much Smaller Number of Life Series Women]. My critique in my post was 'if Lizzie's death happened to a man I would see more posts about that other hypothetical person" - comparing 1 person to 1 person.

We should also consider that Lizzie did have a lot of characterisation back in the Empires s1 days that has been swept under the rug as she became inactive for long periods of time, she had a characterisation but this characterisation didn't even apply to the life series because she was never in it like the others, she missed 3rd life, Double life and Limited life which definitely didn't do her any favours. Mumbos characterization on the other hand still existed because he was much more active and when he was in hiatus his fellow Hermits kept reminding us about him… But Lizzie kinda dips for a while and then comes back and is never really mentioned.

So this paragraph is definitely where you lost me. Your point seems to be 'Lizzie had characterization in S1 of Empires, and we're forced to borrow it because she's so inactive since then, there's nothing to pull from'. Allow me to share a screenshot of her series playlists here.

Let's leave aside the question of why people would pull from Empires S1 characterization when Last Life happened in the middle of it, and would evidently be a more logical place to pull from for Life Series characterization.

She had a whole Afterlife series, and she wasn't inactive after that! She had only 6 fewer episodes in S2 of Empires than in S1. It is patently ridiculous to claim that Lizzie is just so inactive and absent her Empires S1 characterization is necessary to fall back on, when Mumbo has better characterization despite vanishing for an entire calendar year to go biking. That is sexism.

Cleo always had the problem of being simplified as either chaotic arsonist, doting mother figure or talented artigian with dark humor… It's been since the 2020 that I have seen people discussing about her characterisation being basically cut down to one of these 3 personality instead of actually giving her actual personality. This was because newbies at characterization back in season 6 usually put either her or Stress as the nurturing mom friend in fanfiction who then other newbies took as inspiration and it kinda stuck around in a loop.

I'm glad you agree it's a problem! I can definitely see how that problem originated, but I've seen new fandom members for the Life Series - who don't watch HC or read HC fic- duplicate the same problems. I think at some point it's less a fandom-specific issue than a replication of the social division of women into Virgin, Whore, Bitch, or Mother categories, with no ability to imagine women complexly outside of those boxes or continuums.

This fandom seems to think moving the women in and out of the 'Bitch' box is the same as complex characterization*, and we've all just kind of gone 'okay' because the other option is nothing about any women at all. But we can and must do better, because I have to believe we're capable of writing and paying fandom attention to women as people.

*This is where DL Pearl generally falls to me, and why I am dubious of claims that she's well characterized. I think much of the fandom equates cruelty or sadness with good writing/interesting characters. But she's still fundamentally defined by the questions "How nice or mean are you? Are you in a relationship or alone?"

[blanketorghost]

SIDE A:

I fell in love with the ideal person But as you can see They had to go And it is the love that tore apart my entire heart and soul When holding hands, In the park we kissed and tears fell On fallen rose petals And, sadly, they told me so: "I have to leave, And it's not because of me, my heart lies with you All the love of my insides, my chest and my soul I know one day I will return."

SIDE B:

It was you who said goodbye And yet tears run down your cheeks If you are going to erase even the memory of yesterday like this, That's enough. Just smile for me. I sing and sing about love, one that's out above the clouds But I can't see it with my clouded mind No, no, we talk and talk about those regrets that grow day by day, and as the night swarms We forgive each other but there's no meaning to it.

SO HEY UH. LIL SNEAK PEEK OF THEIR BREAKUP ARC???

TW: for mention of underaged sex (??? only adding this just in case bc it all depends if you think their bio ages are counting their bdays during the school year the main story takes place so they'd be 17/18 respectively but I consider them to be before the school year so they'd be 18/19)

ANYWAYS HI

I decided to make their breakup so specifically heartbreaking i myself choke up a little when I imagine the scenes I'll have to write (I'll definitely cry)

So uh.

The inevitable happens and Yuu has to leave. The days leading up to his leaving date things are very tense between them. A lot of their conversations are thinly veiled arguments about Azul wanting Yuu to stay and Yuu telling him he has to leave even though he doesn't want to. Azul thinks that he's making excuses and wants him to admit that he values his life on earth more than their relationship─ Yuu just wants Azul to understand that he has way too many responsibilities and life issues he needs to tie up before he can even think about running away with him to another dimension where he has nothing to his name and could slow Azul's progress down (It also doesn't help that Yuu never actually tells Azul just how famous and influential he is on earth). Yuu also thinks that they could try making a long distance relationship work since Idia and Ortho are working on ways to allow Yuu to reliably travel since they've already managed to make phones work, but Azul is very against long distance because he thinks Yuu would fall out of love if Azul isn't physically there to be of use to Yuu. They always get out of these fights by apologizing and just expressing how sad they are they can't be together but they ultimately never decide on anything. It's actually so stress inducing for everyone because they were in their whole honeymoon phase before this.

There's a whole going away party the day before Yuu leaves and even though it's fun, everything is very bittersweet and I even have this cute scene where Grim asks to go to sleep on Yuu's bed like how they did before Ramshackle was fixed up pre ch.3 🥺

BUT ANYWAYS before the Grim scene, Azul texts Yuu to come to his room in Ramshackle (Yuu often gifts the dorm's spare rooms to friends including Azul ofc) so they can talk about what they're going to do. Yeah well the conversation gets derailed and they end up having sex for the first time as like a way of Yuu physically trying to show Azul that he will love him forever no matter what //sobs

Thats when Grim barges in after they're done and asks for Yuu to sleep over. With Azul's permission he goes and sleeps with Grim but he still feels guilty because they did something very intimate together and if able he would've wanted to spend the night with Azul instead. Yuu ofc can't say no to Grim because he also loves him a lot, though.

In the morning then Yuu wakes up and makes breakfast for Azul as like a way to apologize for not staying over+ maybe make up and talk more about what they'll do?? but when he goes over to Azul's room he finds out that Azul left even earlier in the morning and broke up with him through LETTER.

So uhm yeah Yuu is obviously very heartbroken about all this but he tries to keep a strong face for his friends since he is literally leaving today and doesn't want anyone to feel even worse than they are rn. All while Yuu is giving his goodbyes, he doesn't see Azul and thinks he just dipped and won't say goodbye in person. But Azul actually does go at the last second and they say goodbye, trying to leave their relationship in amicable terms despite everything and despite they're both crying like babies. But then Yuu kisses his forehead tells him he LOVES HIM so Azul decides to play the bad guy and say goodbye to him for good.

Obviously he eventually regrets that decision but in the meantime,

here we are

also fun fact!! Yuu's vc is Symag (alongside others- im trying to catch a vibe) and this SONG in Yuu's canon he actually writes it after their break up so legit this song is about Azul in Yuu's universe BYE

[bittersweetarts]

Little Lamb - Aemond Targaryen x Reader (Chapter 3)

Aemond Targaryen x You –  Chapter 1 , Chapter 2

Word count: 4307 words

Summary: As a maiden of a noble house, it is your duty to wed well. But how will you manage to, with a curious and possessive Prince in the picture?

WARNINGS: Angst, misogynistic behaviour (quite sexist), dubious consent

Spotify Playlist – AO3 Page

Chapter 3: Dead of Night

Distracting yourself was easier than you expected, and this recognition made you feel sick. Though it was easier, it was not easy. Days have passed since Jayse’s brutal mauling, and the memories of that evening were too painful to remember. So, you tried your best to distract yourself, to numb your emotions.

During daytime, it was easier. You kept yourself busy with your duties, taking care of the Targaryen children, and you constantly offered to take on more. You found yourself taking over the Kitchens in a way, instructing the cooks which meals prepare. You also started accompanying the Queens everywhere, Queen Alicent in particular, by keeping her company during political engagements, as the cup bearer. Previously, this type of work did not interest you, nor were you needed. But now, you volunteered to do every possible task available. Prince Anything to derail your stream of consciousness. Prince Daeron whined about how busy you had become, and the children started clinging on to you more when you said goodbye.

At night, however, distracting yourself was difficult. Reading had become impossible, for you could not read a single paragraph without your mind wandering. You tried writing to your parents and your siblings, but what could you tell them? That you are in treacherous territory, and that you do not know if you will ever see them again? Though you loved each, or at least most of your siblings, you were still the invisible middle child, and they would not care even if you had asked for help. If one person in your family was forced to be sacrificed, you knew that you would not only be the chosen one, but also offered on a silver platter.

You tried other hobbies to pass time, such as embroidering, but instead found yourself tempted to stab the sharp needles into your brain. You considered drawing, poetry writing, even playing the flute you have not touched in years, but all of these options made the notion of self-slaughter appealing.

And so, you learned to sedate yourself.

You were never very fond of alcohol and only consumed it socially. But now, you found yourself drinking honey wine at night, until you felt drowsy. Your daily tasks now also included smuggling in a pitcher of the golden drink into your quarters, before nightfall, as now, you felt terrified of leaving your room after the sun had set. The wine did not make you forget per se, because sometimes, the thoughts still crept in. But the wine did help you sleep, as with it, you found that your dreams were empty, and conveniently, you also woke up too exhausted to think properly.

What helped most of all though, was that the cruel Prince Aemond was nowhere to be seen by you. The last time you saw the Prince was that awful evening, thankfully.

Normally, you do not particularly care about the day-to-day political affairs of the Royal Family and the Kingdom. Actually, care is not the correct term. You do care, but you know that politics is a dangerous place for women, as evident by the downfall of the late Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen. A woman with a vocal opinion on current affairs beyond the privacy of her home, if even then, is threatening, and you had learned to care for subjects like history instead. Not as threatening, and just as important, in your opinion.

But having spent so much time serving Queen Alicent recently, you have passively been involved with politics, by consequence of attending countless of her meetings as cup bearer. It was here you learned that the Prince was not avoiding you out of curtesy, but rather out of necessity, at least for the security of the Kingdom.

Folk talk had spread throughout the land, as is unsurprising given that civil unrest can never truly be quashed. Word had spread that the outlawed Poor Fellows, a smallfolk army, has slowly been rebuilding itself, in protest of King Aegon II. The source of this uprise is a man from The Reach, claiming to be the Shepherd Reborn.

During the civil war, the Shepherd was a ‘prophet’ wildly followed by small folk and had preached against the late Princess Rhaenyra’s claim to the Iron Throne, which only served to benefit Aegon’s sovereignty. The Shepherd died during the war, and with him, his small but strong movement.

While this type of smallfolk army does not seem worrying, the new Shepherd has called for the overthrowing of King Aegon II, citing that the Doctrine of Exceptionalism was a political ploy devised by the Targaryens to deceive the pious, further claiming that corruption has plagued the leadership of the Faith for generations now.

The Doctrine of Exceptionalism’s basic tenet allows for the incestuous marriages by House Targaryen to be religiously accepted, with the understanding that Targaryens were different from the men born in the Andalos of old, unlike the rest of us. Word of mouth has spread that the Poor Fellows new stationary location is in the Northern part of the Reach, around the Stoney Sept. Honestly, though admitting it aloud would be treasonous, you did believe this so-called Shepherd Reborn’s claim to be true (he, however, is unlikely to be a prophet, in your opinion).

This threat was heeded to be a serious matter, which is why the one-eyed Prince had been sent to deal with it. Naturally, the Prince’s solution involved his dragon and the burning of men. The issue was that he lacked a precise location to burn, so the Royal Family had decreed that noble houses in the nearby areas aid in the Prince’s search for the rebel stronghold, and this task had proven to not be quick.

Again, you tried to involve yourself in politics as little as possible. However, finding out that Prince Aemond would be preoccupied for at least the foreseeable future was welcoming information, because now, you knew that you could visit the Royal Infirmary without fear of repercussion.

You do not believe that you love Jayse, but you cannot say that for certain, because all of these days not knowing about his condition felt like pure torture. You worried for him greatly, but who could you even speak to? You were grateful that it seemed like somehow, no one had heard about your scandalous incident, despite it being known that the master of the law’s son was gravely injured. Though you had seen Jasper Wylde during many meetings attended by the Queen Alicent, the old man would not even look at you. But what could you say or do? You felt certain that at the very least, he knew that you were involved in his son’s predicament. If he did though, he never showed it, and instead acted as though you had never met.

You were not hurt by this though, because you were at fault. If you had never met Jayse, none of this would have ever happened. Or maybe it would have, just to someone else. Thinking about this made your stomach turn.

Evidently, you have come to possess a nervous disposition, especially since moving to King’s Landing (although you do feel that a certain monarch bears responsibility for this). Therefore your decision to visit Jayse at nightfall was a daunting notion. For one, being alone after dusk scared you now. You also have never been an outwardly rebellious child, so the idea of sneaking into the Infirmary to visit Jayse was scary to you, as you feared of being caught. But you had no one to ask to check on him, and you did not believe the Maesters would be kind if you asked to see him during the day, for who are you to them, but a random unwed lady.

And so, you found yourself across the Keep late at night, hooded in one of your more concealing cloaks. You have grown familiar with the grounds and did not expect to get lost. But you remained vigilant, and tried to avoid people at all costs, which was not very difficult. Any guard that saw you would seemingly ignore you, and the Keep lacked visitors at this time of year, as there were no upcoming events which would demand attendance.

Though the Royal Infirmary was not small, you knew where the critical ward was, and felt certain that Jayse would be tended to there. Conveniently, it also had many wide windows, which would help you find your opportunity to visit, when the attending Maester would eventually leave the room, for at least a moment. And so, you arrived, and hid yourself by one of windows, observing the room.

The room was empty, and it was quite dark, so it was difficult for you to see. But it was obvious that the ward was almost completely empty due to all of the vacant beds. You could also see only one Maester attending, and you thanked the Gods. If there was more than one, your plan would fall apart.

And so, you waited. For how long, you do not know. This was the first in many consecutive evenings that you were sober, which you felt acutely. Time passed very slowly, and you got to spend that time in intimate proximity with your thoughts. You felt incredible remorse and responsibility for what had happened, and you did not know what to do. So, you focused on observing the scene.

The beds were a distance away from the window and it was difficult to identify Jayse. There were a handful of patients, and through observation, you concluded that the bed closest to the entrance was Jayse. The injured person had their faced completely wrap, and while you knew little about medical practice, you assume that treating the face is something necessary for the young Wylde’s predicament.

You had grown weary and tired, and were about to abandon your endeavor, as you did not actually know if the Maester would leave, but they thankfully did. Seeing your opportunity, you practically sprinted to the entrance, in the dark, your hood falling off your head as you did. As you were about to enter, you heard your name called out, in a hostile tone. Your heart felt like it was about to burst as you turned around to face the source. There you saw the master of the laws, and he did not appear thrilled.

“Are you insipid,” He asked, but he did not give you a chance to respond. “Have you not done enough? Do you wish my son death?”

“Of course not!” You quietly cry out. You know that you are responsible, but you were here for Jayse’s sake, not yours.

“Well, that is what you are sentencing him to,” the old man spoke in an indignant tone. Walking up to you, he continued, spitefully. “If it was up to me, you would be sent to indentured servitude in the most repellant brothel in King’s Landing, as that is what a whore like you deserves.” You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, but you held them back, not willing to give the old man the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

“But it is not up to me, and I am being unjustly silenced. Rest assured though, the Gods provide, and you will receive your just deserts eventually,” the man ruthlessly finished, his voice filled with righteousness.

“Will he survive?” You ask softly, looking up at him.

Something momentarily shifted in the council member’s face, and he briefly answered you, before pushing past, and into the ward.

“Yes, but his face will never be the same, and neither will he presumably.” Before entering the ward, he finished, with his back towards you. “You are never to come here again to see him, or any other Wylde ever again. If you, I solemnly swear that it will be you that is permanently changed.”

You were hurt but you knew that this was the least of what you deserved it. Oddly, you felt a sense of relief, knowing that Jayse is not dead, and that you understood your position now with the Wylde family. You also knew that you had to send a letter to your parents, informing them that the courting will definitely not proceed, disappointing them yet again.

You expected to cry, but nothing came out. You truly felt numb, almost like a ghost, and you wondered whether you had transformed into one as you haunted through the hallways back to your chambers.

As you entered into your room, closing the door behind you, you slipped off your cape, setting it down on to the nearest surface. You were practically lost in your thoughts and did even realise that the candles in your room were lit, despite you having put them out before leaving.

It was here where you wished most that you were a ghost, because as you glance up at your room, you discover an unwelcome visitor sat on the bench by the window, arms crossed and legs apart the way that many men do.

The room was deathly silent, and you felt detached, like a spectator watching rather than someone actually living in the moment. Wide eyed, you wrap your arms around yourself, as if that would protect you.

The one-eyed Prince was the one to break this silence first, his voice seething. You flinch as he begins speaking.

“I have had a trying week. Was out in a shit hole for days. Burned many men, cut off some tongues,” he pauses for a moment. His voice projected across the room, to where you were, and that seemed to irritate him.

“Come,” the Prince says as he stands up, opening his arms towards you as he takes a few steps forward. You shake your hair fervently, scared. You do not know his intentions, but feel certain that they are neither good nor safe.

The one-eyed Prince repeats your name, impatiently this time. “Come here.” He takes a few more strides, but stops mid-way, waiting for you. You still shake your head though, and back up against the wall. There was no point in running away, but you were not going to run towards him either. The fact that he even potentially thought you would was ridiculous.

Sighing, it was now Prince Aemond who shook his head, annoyed by your stubbornness.

“And what of your promises? I suppose there is nothing keeping me from visiting our friend then.” His threat was unambiguous, and the words of the council member echoed in your mind.

“Do you wish my son death?”

Shaking, you take slow steps towards the Prince, who opens his arms again as you reach him. As you approach to him, he takes your arms, as if you were a child’s doll, and fixes them around his waist, before proceeding to embrace you firmly. In contrast, your arms hung loosely around him. With his chin resting on your head, he continued speaking, in a lower volume now.

“As I was saying, I have had a trying week, but I dealt with the matter, and finally got to leave that shit hole today. But much to my relief, I also happened to miss tonight’s family supper as well– rather difficult to be joyful when one is hungry as well.”

You feel the weight lift off your head, and a hand tilt you chin up. As you look up at him, and see his sharp violet eye, the pupil completely constricted, you know that it is better not to speak, for his monologue has clearly not ended.

“Imagine my dismay, nay my distress. I decide to surprise you with a visit, and discretely come into your chambers, only to discover it empty, at this hour of the night.” His tone was theatrically wicked, and it scared you. As he briefly pauses, his hand shifts to softly capture your neck, and it sits their menacingly.

“Pray tell, what could possibly keep you so busy at such a late hour?”

As he smiled at you, you could not help but almost admire how sinister it was, a complete antithesis to the very nature of what a smile is. Not waiting for your response, Prince Aemond continues.

“Surely it cannot be my loving mother or gentle sister, for they had retired to bed long ago. Neither could it be my niece or nephews, as I saw with my own eye, the babes asleep in their chambers, on their own, with guards securing them. My brothers are out committing debaucheries, the kind which I doubt you can even imagine.” As he spoke the last sentence, his grip around your throat tightened, and you could feel his nails. Normally, you would be crying, but your emotions had failed you, so instead, you had a blank face, which only served further to infuriate the callous Prince.

“As I sat here, for quite a while mind you, I contemplated where you could be, what a lady of your standing could possibly be doing.” He paused for a moment, loosening his grip. Your mouth had gone dry, and you felt like you were about to choke.

“For a moment, I thought perhaps you had another lover?” The Prince’s eye darkened as he said that.

“No, that is not correct, for you are not that emotionless. No, you are the very opposite. I know you still care for our friend.” The indirect mention of Jayse brought back the light in your eyes, which Aemond saw, and his tone became even more agitated.

“Yes, you still care for that pest. But surely, you would not be foolish enough to visit him.”

As Aemond spoke, his face inched closer to yours, and you could feel his breath on your face. You realised that he knew, and your stomach sank completely. He had been gone for days, and you felt certain that he would not be back for a couple more. How were you so wrong?

You didn’t know what to say, because what could possibly calm him in such a state. You followed your instinct, as you did not know better. Softly closing your eyes, you incline forward so that your lips would meet his, except this time, the Prince leaned back, catching you off guard. His hand was still loosely position at your throat, and moved as you did, so as not to hurt you. Opening your eyes, slightly startled, you could still see the anger still manifest in his expression, though slightly dimmed. So, you swayed forward again, only for the Prince veer from you again.

Prince Aemond melodically hummed in disapproval while lifting your head from your neck, so that you faced him again.

“That will not work again,” the Prince smiled ominously. “Do tell me though, I really am intrigued. What have you been doing out so late?”

“I went for a walk.” You say blankly.

“You went for a walk?” As the Prince responded, his face twisted in contempt. The hand around your waist swift deviated to your buttocks, hoisting you up against him, and you let out a short, sharp cry. Your hands quickly moved to his chest, and you tried to push him away, but he firmly held on to you.

“Do not mock me. I know where your walk led you, I can see it in your face.” His breath was warm as he spoke, his face menacing. “What am I to do with you? Perhaps with each of your indiscretions, I should send you a piece of him? I do love giving gifts.” Your eyes widened at that.

“Please, my Grace.”

“So that is what you want?” Misinterpreting your words, the Prince pulled back, and you felt your heart fasten again.

“No!” You almost yell, grabbing hold of an arm. You did not know what to do, so you started ranting. “I will not see him, I will do as you say, please, you have my word– just do not do that to me. Just tell me what you want!”

With a sad smile, Aemond turned to face you and responded.

“I want you, as I have shown you countless times, and I thought that I already your word.”

Indignantly yet ashamed, you answer back. “You say that you want me, that you care for me, yet your actions do not show it. Tell me, if any lord or man has treated me as you have, would you think that I deserve it?” As you finish, you put a hand onto his chest, near his heart.

“My sweet lady, I am not any lord or man. You know who I am.”

“Then show Jayse mercy. Not for him, for me.” You beg again, taking his free hand, and holding it up to your face, you then proceed to gently place a kiss on his knuckles, and he surveys you attentively, as if trying to commit this moment to memory.

Any fragment of pride that you possessed was gone, and you knew that you had nothing left in your power, except one thing could offer as a woman. Except that once you give it up, you would be without power again, except this time, completely. It was here, you understood that none of this mattered. So, you pulled his hand back onto your throat, and spoke vehemently.

“If you want to kill someone, kill me.”

At that, the one-eyed Prince froze and pulled back from you entirely. At first, he stepped back from you, and then started pacing. You watched him whilst trying to steady your breathing. You prepared for him to end you, and morbidly, you were curious how he would do so. Eventually, Prince Aemond he sat on the edge of your bed, and stared down at the floor. It was silent until he coarsely whispered.

“Stop this.”

His voice brimmed with malaise, and a wave of sympathy washed over you. Sighing, you approached him, voluntarily this time. Going down on your knees, you positioned yourself in front of the Prince and took hold of his hands. His eye was still staring wide at the floor, and you wanted to scream at him to look at you. But you wouldn’t, so you squeezed his hand tightly for a moment, before responding softly.

“All right.”

At that, Aemond looked at you in disbelief. Neither of you felt like you won, and instead, it felt feel like the two of you had reached at an impasse. This was a better outcome than you could have ever expected.

Standing up, Prince Aemond pulled you to your feet as well, and reached into the pocket of his trousers. He then pulled out a small brown package, and placed it gently into your arms. Confused, you cocked your head and ask.

“What is this?”

Exhaling, the Prince responded quietly, almost uncharacteristically. “Something I found whilst scouting one of the small towns on foot. Open it.”

Gently unwrapping the parcel, you see a beautiful blood-coloured gemstone attached to an intricate chain. As you lift the necklace to get a better view of it, you drop it, but the Prince’s quick reflexes manage to catch and save the piece. You expected him to chastise or mock you for dropping the item, but instead, the Prince smirked, amused.

“May I?” He asks, whilst holding the chain up. Looking up at him, you faintly nod, lifting your hair up with your hands. The Prince then walked around and stood closely behind you. Putting his arms over you, he sets the pendant against your chest, gently positioning pressing it down, and then pulled the chain back, clasping it behind your neck. As he did, you could feel his warm breath on the back of your neck, and the sensation made your skin prickle. Pulling your hands from your hair, he brushed your hair down and spun you around. Giving you a glance over, while tracing a finger on your chest, around the chain, he looked at you and commented.

“Beautiful.”

“Thank you.” You smiled shyly, looking down at his rough hands, which you held. Glancing at the discarded wrapping paper that had fallen to the ground, you could not stop yourself from asking.

“Is this why you came to visit me?” As you looked back up, Prince Aemond rigidly nodded. Though the night had been fraught, this had lifted you spirits. Whilst definitely improper, this was the first gift you received from anyone of the opposite sex to whom you were not related to, and you felt a wave of girlish giddiness fleetingly pass.

You knew that you had a reached a positive end to your interaction and the evening, yet you still worried. You do not doubt that that the Prince is cunning and duplicitous, while the gift was indeed kind, and he was in a seemingly good mood, you also knew that you cannot trust him and that he cannot be trusted.

His threats were still fresh in your memory, and you were not willing to risk Jayse’s life by letting the Prince do as he has expressly said he wishes. You were now about to cross a line there was no coming back from, and you knew that everything would change for you after this. But you did so anyway, because really, things were already not the same, so did it really matter? If your luck persists, no one may ever even know.

Stepping backwards towards your bed, you pull on the Prince’s hand. “Stay with me.”

Prince Aemond hesitates, holding his ground. “I do not think that it is a good idea, my Lady, I–”

“Stay with me,” you repeat yourself more adamantly now, interrupting him. “I know this is not as you imagine, and I am not ready to do anything, but stay with me, please.”

Sighing, the Prince gives in, and follows you into bed.

Author’s Note: I am almost completely positive that it is not canon, but I’ve decided that the people of King’s Landing and Westeros eat dinner at about seven pm after sunset, and head to bed soon after. The timings are a little wonky, I know, but I pictured the final scene happening a little after midnight.

As usual, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! This time I managed to restrain myself from immediately posting and spent some time proofreading, so hopefully there are less grammatical errors.

Chapter 4

Tags: @girl-obsessed-with-things 

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.71 Derailed

When we got to Chi Chi's, Karmine hadn't gotten home yet, and I was relieved. She was a sweet kid and all, but man could she talk. I probably wouldn't have made it out once she cornered me. Ha, and now that she was a teenager, she probably had even more to say and gave Chi Chi a run for her money. Bless that child. I left from there and went immediately to Gilbert Gardens, feeling only 8% guilty that I didn't stop at Dad's. He would ask great questions and try to help me talk through it, but this was something I needed to do on my own. Sophia and I had many discussions about the future, and I sensed the urgency to seriously consider our next steps, especially since she had been prepared for quite some time. I was too, in theory, but that was the problem. My next move needed to come from the heart, not from panic or pressure. I wanted to make my request confidently, with a clear conscience and a pure heart.

A man I'd never seen before interrupted my thoughts. He looked pretty young, maybe fresh out of high school. His super light eyes struck me, and I halfway believed they were real. Gray wasn't an unusual color, but they seemed to glow against his dark skin.

"Excuse me," he said. "Sorry to bother you. I'm Wade."

"Luca. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, same here. Look, this is my first time here, and I have a few hours to kill. Would you mind suggesting a few things to do around here?"

Ah ha! He was a tourist. Of course, I didn't know everyone in San Sequoia, but I usually saw the same sims everywhere.

"It's your first time in San Sequoia?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. Well, welcome. I love it here. Hoping to move back soon. But sure, I can help you out."

"Thanks! I appreciate that."

So much for my thoughtful walk. Did I really need it, though? I loved Sophia. Everyone loved Sophia, and I already considered her my family. When I thought about the future, she was all I saw. She and the rest of our family. What was there to think about? It's not like I needed to decide if I wanted to be with her forever. I just needed to do it. There was no such thing as the right time, and knowing Sophia, I didn't need to craft an elaborate plan. Just ask, and let the chips fall.

With that out of the way, my mind, and calendar, were free to help this guy. He was fortunate to approach me because he wouldn't find a bigger fan of San Sequoia.

"Actually, I have some time," I said. "I could show you a few of my favorite spots, if you want."

Those super bright eyes of his seemed to glow even brighter.

"Would you? That would be incredible!"

"Of course. How long are you here for?"

"Just for the day. Gotta catch the evening train."

"Where to?"

"Brindleton Bay."

"Oh, nice. I've never been, but my mom used to live there."

Wade shrugged dismissively.

"It's an okay place. I'm originally from Henford, and moving to BB had it's challenges. I posted a video about it on my SimTube channel."

"You're on SimTube? That's kinda crazy because I just started a channel. What are your videos about?"

"Some of them are personal vlogs, but I also do a series listing the top things to see in different towns. Maybe I'll do one about San Sequoia. What about you? What are your videos about?"

Wow, this guy seemed heavy into SimTube. He probably had thousands of followers and made all kinds of money. Maybe we could stay in touch, and he could teach me a thing or two about growing my channel.

"Uhh, heh, well, I've only done one so far, but I'm a yoga instructor. I do simple routines that anyone can follow and learn. So, I take it you travel a lot?"

"Not as much as I plan to. I've only covered Henford and Batuu so far. I'm currently working on one for Brindleton Bay, but like I said, the place is going to take some getting used to. The entire town smells like fish!"

"Eww. Really?"

Mama didn't talk about her single life much, but I think I'd remember her saying her city smelled like fish. I'd have to ask her about that.

"I think most places have their own set of challenges, though," I continued. "Like, I recently moved to Oasis springs. I love how it's warm all the time, but man is it dusty!"

He threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh.

"Dust might be just as bad as fish!"

"It might be! Which is worse: a constant bad smell or feeling like you're dirty all the time?"

Wade was so animated and fun to watch. My question made his face wrinkle up as if the whole world suddenly reeked of fish.

"Okay, you win! Filth is the absolute worst!"

His outfit was so sleek and fancy, it was clear he liked things neat. He also looked pretty fit, so I knew what our first activity had to be.

"You workout, Wade?"

"Most definitely! Gotta look good for the ladies, right?"

"Absolutely!"

We vibe'd well, and I liked him. I bet he'd be really fun to party with.

"Nah, but seriously," he said, "my dad's obsession with fitness has rubbed off on me. Oh, and you can call me Dub. Most sims do."

I grinned at the thought of us becoming friends.

"Okay, Dub. You ready for a scenic run?"

"I stay ready!"

Your eyes have not deceived you. THEE Wade "Dub" Banks from @mysimsloveaffair's The Banks Dynasty is in the building! Thanks so much for letting me borrow him and spark this amazing friendship.

If you don't know Dub, check out her story! It's one of my favorites.

Also...I guess him meeting Luca officially puts aDOLTing in the Pierson Cinematic Universe! Dub is Kai's oldest son, the one who climbed with Nate on Mt. Komorebi.

[sealeneee]

doc from swtor is arospec. here's why.

disclaimer: obviously this is a headcanon. i consider it based on canonical stuff, but there has been no in-game or in-lore mentions of doc's romantic or sexual orientation. i'm also basing this on my experience as an aromantic person, which may not be the same as your experience as an aromantic person. it's also perfectly fine to disagree as long as you're not a fucking dickhead in my notes.

now to the actual reasoning.

he does not get into serious relationships until he meets the knight. there's that story with the twi'lek woman and him abandoning her at their wedding, but we don't really know how that happened. this does not make him less of a dick for doing that, to be clear -- in the context provided by the game there isn't any evidence to support he was justified in doing that. at the same time though, there is very little we know about the whole situation. was he pressured into it by his or his fiancee's relatives? did he not want to be in a relationship, but agreed to it to not hurt her feelings and didn't have the guts to end it until it was too late? was his fiancee just unhinged and organized a wedding without getting the groom-to-be's consent? is doc just an idiot with commitment issues? we don't know. i mean, we do know that he is an idiot (affectionately) with commitment issues, but whether that was the reason for the failed wedding is unknown. i'm kinda derailing, but the point is, the only serious relationship we know of was a disaster and it's not even known how it came to be like that. his romance dialogue also suggests this is the case, from him thinking he's going crazy for actually falling in love with someone, to saying stuff like "normally, i'd kiss you for talking like that. but i'm trying to do this right", which is, again, not definite proof, but substantial evidence for me.

also based on his dialogue, he finds the concept of non-casual relationships weird. "...wookies mate for life. that's not normal!". of course this can just be him being the whore he is, but i don't think your average "sleeps around with everyone" character would find the concept of marriage for life abnormal. not fit for them, sure, but not an insane thing either.

his opinion clearly changes when he is in a relationship with the knight though. he goes from being the guy who thinks marrying for life is insane to being the only romance option in the game to have an on-screen marriage ceremony and even referencing the wookie thing in a positive context this time: "i want us to be together. like the wookies". he also stays completely faithful despite what some people in this fandom try to claim. you know who you are which is admittedly an incredibly low bar to have but it's not like it's completely unprecedented in bioware games sealene please stop the salt and he is still just as madly in love with her as he was seven years ago.

considering his bafflement with what (i assume) is a normal human romantic experience and literally thinking he's going insane for falling in love with someone, i think it's safe to say he could very well be demiromantic. i don't identify as demi myself, so please correct me if i misrepresent the experience, but the definition for demiros is "describes people who do not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone" which checks out, it takes him about a year and a half (according to the "1 chapter = 1 year "thing) to get to the point where he realizes he has feelings for the knight. checks out.

so yeah. diversity win! the womanizer guy is queer.

[manyothermusingsofmine]

so huyandere posted this on twitter with the notion of like “did anyone write a detailed analysis of kristoph’s solitary cell already bc why is there a pink chair. Insane.” and like I don’t know if it counts as a detailed analysis but I certainly have Opinions about this. I’m a bit sick though so this is really rambly and not on track in the slightest. and if you click the read more it’s all there so uh like

Okay first of all I’m going to have to fact check this but I feel like the wiki told me Kristoph apparently talked the guards into getting him all this stuff?

-one wiki search later- “He managed to call in some favors to some of the prison guards whom he had befriended to get various items into the cell, turning it into something of an office.”

Okay yeah so that’s fucking terrifying? Kristoph already doesn’t strike me as the type to have legitimate friends because everyone is a means to an end with him, but- bro that’s not pulling favors that’s mafia boss behavior what the hell.

But like the bigger Thought I have about the whole thing that derails a little from huyandere’s original question is just. The fucking paralells between Simon and Kristoph? Like okay no hear me out actually.

They’re the same character archetype, in a way. They’re both cool, collected, kinda detached loners- arguably the flip side of each other’s coin because where their character wildly diverge is in motive. Kristoph’s whole motive in his story is greed and envy; wanting the fame and fortune others have and feeling like his rightful place in the spotlight is being usurped by people who don’t deserve it Simon on the other hand’s whole motive is undying loyalty to protecting someone he cares about. He’s on deathrow for a crime he didn’t commit, but can we not gloss over the fact that he’s doing so to protect Athena, who, at this point if the story gets spun in her direction, would befall the same faith? That’s -deskslam- why I’m so mad actually that Simon and Klavier don’t interact in Dual Destinies. Like, at all. And that’s a fucking crime because no matter how you spin that their dynamic would be so interesting! Like, would Simon’s similar demeanor freak Klavier out and does their coworkership therefor become kind of strained and uncomfortable? Or are you like me and do you think that Simon takes one look at Klavier and goes “-Markiplier voice- oh he’s traumatized” and instinctively adopts this weird rockstar prosecutor as his brother because eh what’s another adoptive sibling at this point. And in that case does Klavier look at Simon’s behavior and just go “well thats similar to what I was used to anyway so yeah you can stick around.”? Also I’m not done you clicked on this that was your choice entirely it’s even more fascinating to think about Simon and Kristoph spending even one day in the same jail establishment because first of all I feel like Simon would look around that jail cell and just go “show off” and leave it at that. And while I think the fandom has a point in that Simon probably wouldn’t like Kristoph, have we even considered how much Kristoph would fucking loathe Simon? Simon is pretty much the better version of him because Simon has honor and loyalty; things Kristoph definitely lacks. Furthermore with his background in psychology and just the general way he is Simon wouldn’t fall for any of Kristoph’s manipulation tactics, and there’s not much else Kristoph can do because there’s no way in hell that he would win in a physical fight against Simon; the man’s build like a fucking tank come on now. Do you have any idea how much it would piss Kristoph off that he has this absolute powerhouse of a man in a cell next to him and the bastard’s completely immune to his manipulation skills?! And before I forget the fucking?? paralell?? between Simon owning a trained hawk that I can only assume he trained himself which takes time and talent and trust and sfmdfmg the sprite of him petting Taka makes me feel things. Vs Kristoph having a dog where the general consensus seems to be that it’s a golden retriever, which makes me feel things as someone who has owned golden retrievers and who knows their unconditional love, because he wants to be loved unconditionally with no questions asked FDS,MFNSDFG,MNDF,GM-

[genderkoolaid]

Hi! Transfem who's been following you for a while here and is horrified by some of the stuff I see. How do I help? I just want to give transmascs a massive hug (if they consent of course) and let them know I'm here for them and I'm not trying to be patronizing or "poor weak transmascs" because every trans person is insanely strong and goes through a lot but Jesus Christ some of the stuff y'all face just makes me wanna curl up under a blanket and sob. How do I help?

Here are some general tips off the top of my head; I didn't want to just give surface-level advice so I hope this is helpful and not like. daunting lmao

Be educated about the workings about transandrophobia, and educate others. Spreading awareness about things like higher rates of sexual assault and suicide as major issues, and the ways in which we are uniquely affected by reproductive injustice, even without using the term "transandrophobia", brings transmasculine issues more into common knowledge. Just having people be aware that these struggles happen to us sets the foundation for us being able to talk about why they happen. If "transmascs experience the highest rates of SA and suicide attempts" becomes common knowledge in queer spaces, we won't have to go other our evidence for Why You Should Please Believe Us We're Begging every single time someone asks why we need a term.

On that note, when you can, use the term transandrophobia/transmisandry! Its kind of hard right now because naming the issue often derails the conversation from the actual issue into a debate over whether we should even talk about it. However, it would be helpful if the term started becoming less of a Hot Discourse Issue and more of an actual term people use to describe experiences and behavior. When something happens that is transandrophobic, say that! Just as we should use the term "transmisogyny" to properly name the issue. It would also be very helpful if, again, we did not have to re-explain Why The Etymology Doesn't Fucking Matter every time we wanted to talk about our issues.

This is more intensive, but the next step after just naming and defining the issue, and spreading awareness, is actually organizing and starting to do something about it. If you are a part of any queer groups/orgs, you could try bringing up transmasc-specific issues with them. I think it would be very useful to create more resources and awareness campaigns for transmascs dealing with sexual assault and suicidal ideation, as well as abuse and pregnancy and other things; in general, we need more spaces for transmascs needing support with vulnerable issues; spaces focused on cis women are not enough for transmasc issues. Make sure to support transmascs around you and help make sure their voices are heard and considered. when transandrophobic language is used wrt abortion and reproduction, call it out. & ofc direct monetary support to transmascs is always a good option.

Oppression is daunting, but we have each other. The fact that you respect our voices and want to help us is already helpful!! Having people who are just open to anti-transandrophobia activism and are willing to listen is what we need in order to have real change. In general I think a good first step is to be aware of what's going on around you, so you can recognize when there's a chance for you to do something. The revolution starts at home and all that.

[fluffypotatey]

The Shrine of Emrys: An Additional factor for Merlin's Migraines

The day began like any other which is what Merlin blames for why he felt so relaxed and not as vigilant. Maybe if he was, the warlock could have been able to convince his friends that he spied deer in the opposite direction of what will now be the reason for Merlin’s anxiety. Unfortunately, hindsight always works better after an incident occurs never before, the little fucker.

“At least it’s not a well this time,” Gwaine chimes in, interrupting the tense silence that enveloped their party the moment the shrine came into their sights.

“How does that make this one better?” Leon sighed.

“Well, none of us will feel compelled to drink it!”

In Merlin’s periphery, he saw Elyan wince, the memory of when he was possessed still haunting him. No one blames the knight though. After that whole mess, Percival and Leon made sure to keep their group’s supplies always stocked with the right amount for missions or hunting parties. They even made sure to teach their own squires how to properly ration food and water, the best places to find drinkable water, and what berries were considered safe to eat. 

Arthur moved closer to the little shrine that sat near an old oak tree. He squatted and examined how the thin rocks were piled on top of one another, how the inside of it seemed to glow (was it from magic? A trick of the light? Or maybe there were diamonds inside, Merlin couldn’t tell and Arthur didn’t say.) and how the curved roof of the shrine sprouted thick branches, harvesting some kind of fruit. Merlin watched carefully as his king looked the shrine up and down, as his lips curved into a pensive frown, as he brought his fingers to his lips, contemplating.

“What do you suppose this one’s for?” he finally asked. “This one seems…less somber.”

And it is, unless, a shrine that held sweetmeats and honeycomb inside it was one of malevolent intent. But what a strange shrine that would be. Merlin couldn’t help but ponder what kind of evil sweetmeats and honeycomb could cause. The evil of too much sugar? The evil of glorious temptation? Frankly, Merlin wouldn’t mind if he were to fall for such a temptation. In fact, these offerings almost seem to…call to him. Like they were there for him.

“Because it is less somber, sire.”

Everyone turns to Percival. The knight lets out a cough like he surprised himself with that answer, or maybe he didn’t expect everyone’s immediate attention on him. Eyes curious and surprised that he held such knowledge.

“How so, Percival?” their king asks him.

And Percival answers his king, but it’s an answer Merlin was not expecting. Honestly, he never expected such an answer to even be one Percival had previous knowledge of. 

“Because this shrine is to Emrys,” the knight says with no hesitation, “and the Druids wish to keep him pleased.”

“Emrys?”

“Who is he?”

“Will he be a threat to us?”

And so, there went Merlin’s peaceful day with nothing magic related. He wished the earth could just consume him, take him away from what’s about to transpire, but the earth stays quiet.

“No, no, Emrys is not a threat,” Percival answers, quick to reassure his friends. “Well…” the knight makes a face. “He isn’t…meant to be a threat.”

Merlin tries his best to not feel offended by such a description. It’s not like Percival knows he’s talking about the knights’ beloved manservant. Merlin shouldn’t feel the slight of betrayal as his dear friend describes him as some cryptid Fae folk. Merlin is not a part of the Fae! As far as he’s aware, anyway.

“Explain,” Arthur ordered.

So, Percival did. Percival explained to his friends all he knew about the infamous Emrys. He explained why the Druids revered him. 

(“Are we even sure this Emrys is a him?” Merlin couldn’t help but ask. Maybe if he did, then it would derail the topic and Merlin would be safe.

“I mean, that’s how the Druids refer to Emrys, but,” Percival hesitates as he considers how to answer it, “they could be wrong. Sometimes their prophecies are very vague to the point that any person could fit them, and sometimes they’re not. But Emrys has not struck them down yet, so maybe?”

And so Percival continued his tales about Emrys, with Merlin’s plan foiled.)

Merlin did note how the knight made sure to steer clear of ever explicitly mentioning the cause of the Druids’ reverence for Emrys (Uther’s Purge), but that didn’t stop Arthur from picking up on it. Percival also explained certain details Merlin wasn’t even aware of. Details like Emrys being immortal for one.

“So you mean…” Merlin bit his lip. “This Emrys can’t die?”

“Not by a mortal’s hand.”

“Ah.” He could feel his throat closing in on itself, flashes of past moments flooded his head. Past moments where Merlin felt himself cose to death or moments where others gazed at him with unbridled terror because some poison didn’t work. Merlin’s head pounds, this is too much for him to process.

Something flickered across Percival’s face. Confusion, curiosity, then something else, but his face switched to neutral before Merlin could decipher it. The knight looked back to the rest of their party as he wrapped an arm around Merlin. It almost felt like comfort. Like a reassurance. Merlin had a brief moment of panic. Did he know? Will he tell? Is this just because Percival is a very tactile person? Did he notice that Merlin was no longer feeling well?

“You said he’s born to heal the wounds of the Old Religion,” Arthur says, snapping Merlin from the downward spiral. “That he was born as the Druids’ protector and healer.”

“Not just the Druids, sire. There are more than just the Druids who practice the Old Religion.”

Arthur nodded, his eyes looking back at the shrine, but, strangely, it was like he was looking at something further away. Something only he could see. A past memory? Or maybe old words he once ignored that have new meaning to them with this context.

“If he’s here to be their avenger, why do they have to keep him pleased?” 

It was Gwaine who asked, mouth full of food. Somehow, the handsome man had found an apple whilst their friend told them all about this revered sorcerer. Probably one of the items Leon had packed for them.

(“So he’s a god?” Gwaine had asked.

“No?”

“Wait, why’d you answer that like a question?”

“It’s really complicated–”

“So they worship him.”

“Yes but—”

“They hold a festival for when his power was first felt by everyone.” This one was Elyan. Both he and Gwaine exchange a look of understanding.

“Look–”

“And they say he is the chosen champion of the Triple Goddess.”

Percival sighed at his friends as they continued on with their, admittedly well-thought out, theory. It was times like these where he missed Lancelot, who he knew would have also brought up some interesting points that would have most likely fueled the flames to his friends’ assumptions. Although, Lancelot always seemed to know more than Percival despite him being the one raised by the Druids.

“Ok, fine, he’s a new god for them”

“But what is he the god of then? Say, Elyan do you still have those scrolls on that pantheon in the Mediterra—”)

Percival winces as he prepares himself to answer Gwaine’s question. Merlin couldn’t help but frown at that reaction. The Druids don’t see him as unpredictable do they? They view him as benevolent, right? Maybe they believe him to be wrathful like Morgana? He’ll need to meet with Taliesin soon just to make sure.

“About eight years ago, someone decided to challenge Emrys. She even went as far as to harm the Once and Future King–”

“The who?”

“There’s a prophesied king?!”

“Yes, he’s called the Once and Future King, their destinies are intertwined, he is said to bring in an age of peace and unity between those with magic and without—will you let me finish!”

The knights kept their mouths shut as Percival unveiled more about this sorceress. How she was the previous Priestess of Avalon (Merlin felt himself freeze, and he silently prayed that maybe Percival meant someone else), and that after attempting to force Emrys into joining her revenge plot against Camelot, he struck her with a lightning bolt.

“–So you see, the Druids felt that they needed to make sure Emrys knew they weren’t seeking to go against him. And while he is said to be their savior, there are Seers who have cautioned that Emrys can very well be their end if pushed too far. Nimueh’s demise was proof of that.”

Their circle of knights was quiet after that. Neither spoke nor asked Percival for more clarification, everyone too deep in their thoughts. Merlin, however, was an internal screeching mess. He had no idea that his battle with Nimueh caused such a reaction from the Druids. Honestly, with how much people continued to harm Arthur and the kingdom, he didn’t think anyone would have buckled down and built him shrines because of what he did. It was both strange and comforting, like his actions were truly being seen and appreciated, but also he felt something ugly curl into his gut. They didn’t build the shrine until he hurt one of their own.

They feared him.

Merlin wanted to sigh. He’s so tired of them solely viewing him like he was the Triple Goddess incarnate. He looked back at the shrine and how its offerings laid there to appease him. To keep him on their good side. Well, Merlin always was partial to some honeycomb. It wouldn’t hurt if he just…took the offerings, show them that he does want to see a future of peace between magic users and regular humans.

It’s not like Merlin wants to go against the Druids, but if these offerings will make them believe he is pleased with them, Merlin might as well. He wonders if someone overheard him admit to liking honey. Did they ask his mother about the sweetmeats? 

“Merlin!” It’s Elyan who grabs his wrist as it was closing in on one of the berry tarts (he hoped it was raspberry). “Do you want to get smited by Emrys?!”

It took every fiber in Merlin's body to keep a straight face. It took even more to not reply with a quip outing himself.

By the Goddess, how should he answer that question?

“No,” he said, eyes wide like a stunned deer.

“Then why did you reach for the offerings!”

What a silly question! These offerings are for Merlin, thereby he should have them, yes?

“I was hungry.”

“Merlin, we have plenty of food packed in our supplies,” Leon placated. It seemed he was trying to calm down Elyan, who became quite panicked when Merlin reached for the desired tart. Understandable though, Merlin knows Elyan meant well, but how can he explain why him taking the sweets won’t place Emrys’s wrath upon him without revealing that he is said wrathful Emrys (although he wouldn’t be very wrathful if they just let him take the tart).

“My bag is too far away though,” he said, like he was that six year old boy who followed his mother around the castle while she worked. He never wished to leave his mother’s side, so he would always complain if she asked him to fetch something a few feet away. Leon even gave Merlin the same look the boy’s mother gave him. This felt unfair. Merlin wasn’t some six year old with attachment issues. He was Emrys and this was his shrine, but he can’t tell Leon that.

“I’ll go fetch it for you, Merls!”

Bless Gwaine. Always after his own heart, that man. Not to mention, he also brought the knights’ attention to himself, granting Merlin the opportunity to swipe the tart from the shrine and shove it into his mouth. It tasted heavenly. 

Yes, this shrine thing was a great idea on the Druids part.

“What’s in your mouth, Merlin?”

Shit, he forgot to count Arthur. Arthur who only glanced over at Gwaine for a couple of seconds, and most likely saw Merlin shove the tart in his mouth. Merlin swallowed the rest of the  tart.

“Nothing, sire.”

Yes, good start, Merlin. He can play this game.

“Nothing?”

“Yep.”

“So I didn't see you eat one of the offerings to Emrys.”

“That’s correct, sire.”

“And was it good?”

“Very, like a taste from–” shit!

“Do you have a death wish!” Elyan hissed at him. Merlin refrained from answering that question. It seemed rhetorical, and his friend probably wasn’t seeking for Merlin’s honesty right then. “Emrys killed a priestess, what do you think he’ll do to you?”

“Well, she was being rude. I just ate a tart.”

“A tart not meant for you!”

Typically, in moments like these, the party is interrupted by either bandits or rogue sorcerers. This is mostly because moments like these escalate and people get loud, alerting enemies to their location. Then, when the dust settles, they are able to end disputes more amicably (this is because all the frustration is let out during the fighting, leaving the gang tired with no need nor desire to fight their friends right after). Unfortunately for Merlin, there is no spontaneous appearance from rogue sorcerers or bandits that aid Merlin in avoiding this conversation. What there is, however, is a well placed beehive hanging just above their camp. Maybe if Merlin faked a cough he could—

A distant roar is heard, coming from the west. It pauses everyone’s movement for a quick moment until Arthur makes the order to seek out the roar, claiming that such a beast is too close to Camelot for his own comfort. Elyan gives Merlin a stern look to mean that this conversation wasn't over as he made his way to the horses. Merlin breathes out a sigh in relief before joining the knights with their preparations. Whatever creature they find, Merlin will find a way to spare it as thanks (not that it’d know what the thanks is for, but that’s not important).

---

my contribution to this post here and a special thank you to @bellamyblakru for beta-ing this ilysm <3 and read this fic by @0hheytherebigbadwolf that's inspired by the same post (it's very good btw)

[seresinsbabe]

So excited for the next Conveniently Yours update whenever in the future that may be. :)

Prompt request in the meantime. Fake dating with Hangman x Reader at readers work function. Reader has been told she’s not a team player or spontaneous/adventurous enough to take point on an upcoming project so she cons an all too willing Jake into helping her colleagues see a different side of her. This different side with daring touches and spoken hidden truths, in the guise of “their relationship” changes everything and friends/enemies turn into lovers.

Team Player 1

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x fem!reader

Warnings: None really

A/N: This will be a short series, just a couple few chapters. Thank you for the prompt inspo @clancycucumber230 🥰

Jake watched you with amused eyes. He was getting a kick out of seeing a woman who was usually so confident look so frazzled. Honestly, he was probably enjoying it more than he should have.

Tonight was supposed to have been an end of the week grill out between the friend group. It had quickly derailed when you arrived still frustrated from work.

Your boss had pulled you in the office and told you that you weren’t going to get picked for the upcoming project. One you had really wanted all because you weren’t a “team player” and you didn’t take risks.

“I mean…I can’t say I disagree with them.” Jake snickered quietly as your glare turned onto Rooster. Who quickly looked to Phoenix or Bob with his hands up in the air to protect his face from any projectiles.

Phoenix let out a sigh, shaking her head at Bradley. “Look, what the idiot is trying to say is that you’re very much a type A person. You don’t like other people touching your work and you stick to the same styles.”

“Yeah. Because they’re idiots and will fuck it up. And why would I change something that works?” You shrugged nonchalantly, as if it was a no brainer. The expression on Tash’s face changed and it was then that it clicked.

You were bossy. You didn’t take criticism well. You didn’t joking any group projects, and if you did you took the brunt of the work without letting others contribute. Your designs were all similar, but they worked. People liked them. Why change them? People in the firm had talked about you, you knew that and it had never bothered you. Because as far as you were concerned what mattered was that you got your work done and it was done right the and on time. Which it was.

“Okay, so what you guys suggest I do?” You felt defeated, asking for advice wasn’t normally something you did. Ok the contrary, normally you were the one giving the advice.

This was different this time. You had never run into a problem like this before. Architecture was where you shined and that had always shown. So to suddenly be told you weren’t considered for projects or promotions not because your work was bad, but because you kept to yourself hit hard. Harder than anything had ever hit you. Again, taking criticism wasn’t easy for you and you weren’t sure it ever would be.

“Don’t you have some work party coming up? Go show them there.” Tash suggested, but you just shrugged her off.

“Yeah, but I’m not going. Everyone brings a date and I don’t have one. And I don’t mingle with those people.” It wasn’t that you didn’t like people. Quite the opposite. It was that you just preferred to keep your work life separate from your home life. None of your coworkers needed to know your weekend plans or how abysmal your love life was.

This time it was more than just Tash giving you a look. They were all right and you hated it. If you wanted to prove that you are as much of a team player and that you can take risks then you had to go.

You let out a frustrated groan that sounded half like a whine. As if you were a child who just got told you couldn't have any candy. This was going to suck, even more so knowing you were going to have to go alone.

"Fine, fine. I'll go. Someone has to go with me. I can't show up without a date." Not only that, but if you were going to do this you didn't want to do it alone. It seemed that everyone in the group already had plans for that night. Which meant you would either have to go stag or find a date on your own.

"I'll go." Your head whipped over to where Jake was lounged on a patio chair, sweaty beer in hand. "I had a date planned, but I can reschedule to help a friend." He shrugged as if it was no big deal.

Your brows furrowed on your forehead. It wasn't that you hated Jake, but you would hardly consider yourselves friends. More that you both tolerated each other for the sake of your mutual friend group. More often than not you found yourself bickering with him over something trivial.

You pondered it for a few moments. Weighing the pros and cons, but eventually settled on accepting. Despite your disagreements, Jake was attractive and you knew he could woo a crowd, you'd seen him do it before. And you knew him, which would hopefully take away some of the awkward tension you'd already be feeling that night.

"Okay, alright, yes. You can be my date Bagman."