#and I said okay you're the boss

[vodika-vibes]

Post Order 66 - part 6

The Starsinger travels to Tatooine, and Kanna has to brave the desert and the twin suns with only Beesix at her side.

Full disclosure, I’m not super happy with the middle part of this story. Tatooine is hard and I hate it. But it was important to write, so there you have it. Next installment will have Rex and Wolffe. Maybe. I write what wants to be written, after all.

tagging: @starrrgazingbunny and @thestarwarslesbian

“I don’t like this,” Fox was scowling. Not at her, but in her general direction. Kanna wasn’t too bothered by it. She’d been scowled at by a Fox who was legitimately angry at her before, he was just mad at the situation in general. “I could come with you?”

Aww. He’s adorable. Kanna very carefully made sure that her thoughts did not show up on her face. She didn’t want grumpy Fox, she much preferred happy Fox.

“You’re sweet, but if Master Kenobi sees you he’ll probably run away, that’s why it’s just me.” Kanna reminded, “Besides, you’re going to have plenty of company. I’ll just get in the way.”

“...you could never.” Fox sounded offended on her behalf which, yay! Emotional progress! Suck it Palpatine! But also, he was going to make it hard for her to actually leave, the bastard.

“I know Fox, I was kidding.” She grinned at him over her shoulder, as she finished shoving water and ration bars into her bag, since she wasn’t sure how long this was going to take. “But you can use this to spend some time with your brothers. Maybe get to know the kids?”

Fox’s fingers tapped out a silent rhythm on his arm, “Miralukans are being hunted by the empire-” He tried.

“Which is why I’m switching out my mask for dark sunglasses, and a cane. And why Beesix is coming with me.” Kanna pointed out, “So far as Tatooine is concerned, I’m just a blind merchant.”

Fox scowled even more, “The Hutts-”

“Fox.” Kanna said his name as a sigh, and she was pleased to see that he didn’t bother continuing that line of thought. And she was amused at the slight embarrassment he was radiating.

“Just...want you to be safe, is all.” He admitted quietly.

“And I appreciate it. But I will be fine.” Kanna promised.

She waited. Fox wasn’t done yet, she could feel his anxiety rolling off of him. “You promise you’ll come back?” He asked, his voice even quieter.

“As soon as I finish beating some sense into Master Kenobi.” Kanna replied, “Can you imagine me living on this hell planet? They have two suns, Fox. It’s ungodly.”

He shook his head, “Do you have enough water?”

“Yep. And Bee is packing even more, just in case. It’s going to be fine, Fox.” 

He sighed, “Fine. I suppose I can spend some time with my brothers until you return.”

“It’ll be very difficult for you, I’m sure.” Kanna teased, and was relieved to note that his scowl had been replaced with a small smile. “Alright, I have to head out before Bee starts whining about us falling behind schedule. Be patient with your brothers, please?”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. We’re all broken pieces and sharp edges, gotta be careful not to cut each other.” Fox replied, quoting something that Kanna had told him during the beginning of his recovery.

“You’re all getting better day by day, Fox. I see it, even if you don’t.” Kanna paused, “Now I really do have to go. Later, Fox!”

Kanna noticed that Fox followed her to the ramp, though she quickly put him out of her mind as she hurried over to Bee, and took the white cane that he had been holding for her. She also pulled her eye mask off and replaced it with the sunglasses that kept her safe on Coruscant for two years. “There, how do I look?” She asked Bee.

Beesix tilted his head, “Like you’re blind.” 

“Awesome, let’s go!” Kanna carefully hooked her arm with Beesix’s, her cane would be largely useless on Tatooine, but it was an important part of her cover as being blind.

Kanna and Bee took their time meandering through the markets, claiming that they were looking for something specific whenever the merchants directed their questions towards them. Well, they directed their questions towards Kanna, in any case.

Eventually, though, the crowds died down, and Kanna and Bee were able to move around a little easier. “Miss, how are we supposed to get into the wastes?” Bee asked curiously.

“Well, hopefully we won’t have to steal a speeder.” Kanna replied as she stepped under an awning and leaned against a building. The suns were awful, and she was a redhead. She should have packed sunblock.

“That’s illegal,” Beesix said in his blunt voice.

“Well, yeah. That’s why I said I don’t want to steal a speeder,” Kanna pointed out. She frowned thoughtfully, there must be something they could do. Maybe see if there are any moisture farmers in the area who would agree to letting them look at their farm?

Kanna was ripped from her musings when she felt something warm and bright against her senses. Startled, and more than a little curious, she reached out though the force and brushed light fingers against the presence. It flared in surprise, and then twined itself around her tightly.

“Well now, that’s interesting,” She murmured as she turned her head in the direction that the little light was coming from, “I think I just found what Master Kenobi’s mission is. Come on, Bee.” Kanna waited until Bee took her arm again, and she guided them through the streets once more.

Three streets over, Kanna paused and she reached out and touched the little presence once more. It wiggled under her attention, and she was pulled from her thoughts at the sound of a man shouting a name, “LUKE STOP!”

“Miss, there’s a child-” Beesix started, but Kanna already swept down and scooped the little boy into her arms, and settled him on her hip.

“Hello little one,” She said lightly, as she gently tapped his nose with her finger. He giggled madly and pressed his small hands against her cheeks.

“Warm.” He whispered, “Like me!”

Kanna grinned and lowered her voice, “Or maybe you’re warm like me,” She said in a conspiratorial whisper. The little boy, Luke, giggled even more madly.

“I’m so sorry,” A rather frazzled sounding man said as he ran over, “I wasn’t expecting him to run off like that.”

“It’s not a problem,” Kanna promised, as she handed the little boy back to his father, though Luke seemed rather unwilling to leave her arms, “He didn’t hurt anyone, after all.”

“He still knows better,” The man ran his fingers through his hair, though he didn’t seem all that concerned with comforting the child, who was wiggling and reaching for Kanna still. “Honestly, I normally leave him with my wife, but-” He shook his head, “Sorry. I don’t mean to dump on you.”

“It’s fine. I find that I’m a good listener.” Kanna offered. Yes, Obi-Wan was her mission, but there was something here that she needed to look into. “I know from a family friend that having children is a massive change,” She added.

The man scowled, “We never wanted kids.” He shook his head, “I mean. Luke is a good kid, but we never intended-” He sighed, “But my step-brother died and there was no one else to take care of the kid, so we’re stuck.”

Kanna made a sympathetic noise. “There’s no other family? Grandparents?”

“No. My father died from illness before Luke was born, and my step-mother died even earlier than that. And I don’t know anything about the mother’s family.” He made an aggrieved noise, “He’s a good kid. Smart, kind. But my wife and I never wanted him. It’s a struggle to remember to care for him most days.”

That was concerning. Luke wasn’t being abused, or else this conversation wouldn’t be happening. She could tell that he was healthy, and generally happy. His aunt and uncle didn’t love him, but Luke didn’t seem to know that. Which was important. “It speaks to your character that you’re doing it anyway.” Kanna said, trying to offer some comfort to the clearly overwhelmed man, “You could have just given him away, but you didn’t.”

The man was quiet, “Yeah. Maybe.” He paused, “Oh. The suns must have fried my brain. I’m Owen Lars, and this is my nephew, Luke.”

“Kanna, and my personal droid, Beesix.”

“Hello.” Beesix said, “You appear to be in an undue amount of stress, I recommend taking some time to yourself.”

“Beesix is a medical droid,” Kanna explained.

“Huh. What brings you both to Tatooine?” Owen asked, shifting his grip on Luke as the little boy continued reaching for Kanna, “I’m sorry, he really wants you to hold him-”

Kanna took the little boy back, and he settled almost immediately. “I’ve been told I have that effect on people.” She joked. “As for why we’re here...I have a cousin who apparently decided to run off and play space hermit here. I’m looking for him so I can yell at him. Beesix is here to help me.”

Owen looked between Kanna and Luke, a speculative expression crossing his face, “He chose a good place to disappear. But, I’ve lived here my whole life, and I know most people in the area. What’s his name?”

Kanna tilted her head slightly, carefully reading Owen’s intentions. He didn’t have any bad will towards her, and he seemed, genuinely, to want to help. “I was told by a mutual friend that he goes by Ben now.”

“...Ben Kenobi?” Owen asked, frowning slightly. “I know him. I don’t like him.” He paused, “Are you, uh, like him?”

“Would it be a problem if I was?” Kanna asked.

“No. You’re far less irritating than Ben is.” Owen said. He folded his arms, and thought hard, “I’m finished with my shopping for the day. Why don’t you and Beesix come with me to my farm. And I’ll see what I can do.”

He wanted something. Kanna knew that just as surely as she knew that the sun would rise in the morning. What, exactly, she still wasn’t sure, but she had a feeling that it was going to be massive. “...alright. Come on Bee.”

The ride to the Lars farm was less than 30 minutes, and Beru Lars was happy to receive them. Beru made Kanna some tea, and prepared some milk for Luke, before she was ushered into another room by her husband, leaving Kanna and Beesix alone with the two year old.

Beesix entertained himself by talking to Luke, while Kanna just watched and listened to the little boy excitedly talk about his favorite holo, which was apparently about a talking tooka kitten. They were only alone with Luke for several minutes, before Owen and Beru returned.

Kanna regarded the married couple through the force. They weren’t bad people. There was nothing wrong with knowing that you didn’t want children. And it spoke well to their characters that Luke was happy and healthy, and that he was unaware that his aunt and uncle didn’t love him. Though, it wouldn’t take long for him to figure it out. All jedi were empaths of some sort, after all.

“Bee, why don’t you let Luke show you his room?” Kanna suggested.

“Yes, Miss.” Beesix picked up Luke and allowed the toddler to direct him out of the kitchen and into a separate building.

Beru and Owen sat at the table, and they were silent until the high pitched voice of Luke faded away. The married couple was nervous, and Kanna knew, immediately, what they were going to ask.

“You want me to take him.” She said slowly. It was the only logical conclusion she could come to.

“Yes,” Beru sounded so guilty, “Please, we’re not bad people. We’re just not made to be parents! We’re doing our best, but it doesn’t come naturally to us, an-”

“You don’t have to justify yourselves to me,” Kanna interrupted gently, “Not everyone wants to be a parent, and that’s fine. My only concern is that you don’t know me.”

“You’re a Jedi.” Owen said, “And, if times were different, we would have given him to the Jedi immediately. You can teach him, and protect him, in ways that we can’t.”

Kanna sighed, “You’re not...wrong.” This was not what she had planned. She needed to work out what, exactly, she was going to say to the others when she returned to the ship. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes.”

She sighed again, “Okay. I assume there’s paperwork-?”

Beru laughed, “This is Tatooine. There’s nothing like that.” She paused and then she reached out and took Kanna’s hands in her own, “Thank you. I can’t even...just...thank you.” She got to her feet, “I’m going to pack Luke’s toys and some clothes. Owen will bring you to Ben’s hut once everything is packed.”

“Of course.” Kanna replied, settling back in the seat as Owen and Beru hurried off to do their own things.

Less than 10 minutes later, Owen, Kanna, Beesix, and Luke were on their way to Obi-Wan’s hut. It was less than 15 minutes away. And it was less a hut and more of a cave. 

“Bee, stay here with Luke and Owen.” Kanna instructed the droid. She didn’t even wait for him to respond before she was walking up to the hut, and she stepped into the home.

“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi looked...well...bad. He felt like a wound in the force. 

“Have you ever heard of bathing?” Kanna snarked right back, examining him fully in the force, “Stars above, have you just been not eating? You should know better!”

He scowled at her, “Normally my starvation hallucinations are nice to me than this.”

“...oh. I’m sorry.” Kanna snapped, “Let me try again. Hi Master Kenobi. It’s nice to see you. You look like shit, why haven’t you been eating?”

He scowled at her even more, “Aren’t healers supposed to be nicer?”

“Would you rather I channel my Master? Cause she’d be swearing at you right now.” Kanna snapped.

...ohhh. This was what her Master meant when she said that Kanna was going to have a pediatric specialization. Adult Jedi just pissed her off. Good to know.

Obi-Wan looked miserable, “You can’t be here. You died in the Purge. Just like everyone else.”

“Wow. There’s a lot to unpack there, and also, if you think that Vader and Palpatine managed to kill every jedi you’re stupid, and also wrong.” Kanna said, before she grimaced. She needed to be nicer. He had trauma. Like Fox. Like Cody. Like Dusk. Nice Kanna. Be nice.

“I’m sorry. That was cruel of me.” Kanna said after she took a deep breath, “I survived, because my Master threw herself over me to shield me. Obi-Wan, Bail told me where to find you.”

“He shouldn’t have. I have a duty-”

“Yes, Luke.”

Obi-Wan stilled, “You-”

“He’s outside, his Aunt and Uncle gave custody of him to me.” Kanna continued, “I’ll be leaving Tatooine with Luke soon.”

“You can’t! It’s not safe.” Obi-Wan said hoarsely.

“There are three other Jedi children on board the ship I live on. One is the same age as Luke.” Kanna said kindly, “Not to mention the other people on the ship.”

“More Jedi?”

“Uh...not exactly.” Kanna admitted, “It was agreed that I would come and speak with you because we didn’t want to spook you.” She hesitated, “There’s something you need to know, Obi-Wan. It’s important.”

The older man just looked so, so tired. “Go ahead.”

“The Clones had control chips in their heads,” Kanna explained, gently, kindly. “That’s why they shot at you. It’s why they turned on the jedi.” Obi-Wan was staring at her, wide eyed, “Commander Cody has been rescued, and his chip removed. He’s on the ship.”

“He’s...Cody? He’s here? On Tatooine?” Obi-Wan sounded stunned, and then something like hope bloomed across his face. “I thought...it would have made sense, for Cody and his brothers to try and kill me. I didn’t do enough to help them-”

Kanna waited. She kind of expected this, now that she thought about it. After the Purge, Kanna had the same thought process. That the Jedi must have done something for the Clones to turn on them, because it was the only thing that made sense. Learning about the chips had been both the most relieving and most heart-breaking thing she’d ever heard.

Obi-Wan turned his gaze on Kanna, “What’s your plan?”

“Grab you, leave Tatooine, and then travel across the Galaxy to a specific cell of the Rebellion. The one that accepts clones. And then find a way to free all of our men from Palpatine.” Kanna listed, “And then get them all therapy.”

Obi-Wan nodded, “I’ll come with you. But,” Here he hesitated, “I can’t be a teacher again. I can help, but I can’t-”

“We’ll talk about that a bit later,” Kanna said, “For now, grab whatever stuff you think you need, and we’ll get out of here.”

He nodded, walked across his cave/hut, and grabbed his lightsaber, and then he walked over to her, “I’m ready.”

“If you say so.”

She led him out of cave and over to the speeder. Owen shot Obi-Wan the dirtiest look, and told him he could sit in the back, next to the baby and the droid, while Kanna had the front seat. Even so, the trip back to the ship was very, very quiet.

Owen only remained stopped long enough for everyone to get out of his speeder, and then he was gone again, without waiting for anyone to say anything to him. “He really doesn’t like me,” Obi-Wan admitted, slightly awkwardly.

“Well,” Kanna said as she shifted Luke’s weight, “You did drop a child on him without permission. Bee, help Ben with the stuff, please. I’m going to get Luke inside.”

“Yes miss,” Bee replied, as he promptly started picking up Luke’s bags.

Kanna shook her head, and climbed the ramp, and finally released a sigh of relief as the oppressive heat faded into something much more tolerable.

“Kanna, you’re bac-” Fox walked over to her, and then stopped, midsentence, when he saw the child, “...that is not General Kenobi.”

“Nope. I managed to get sole custody of a force sensitive child.” Kanna explained, “his name is Luke.” Luke let out a delighted noise when she said his name, and he beamed at Fox.

“He’s Anakin’s son,” Obi-Wan said tiredly as he stepped on the ship, “Commander Fox, correct?”

“Yes sir,”

“No need for that. I’m not a General anymore.” Obi-Wan reassured, “Kanna, where should we put Luke’s stuff,”

“Luke will be rooming with Rhawl for now,” Beesix said as he walked into the ship as well. He plucked the few bags from Obi-Wan’s hands, and vanished into the living section of the ship.

Kanna opened her mouth to say something to Obi-Wan, when another door opened and Cody stepped into the room they were gathered in. He saw Obi-Wan, and he froze.

“General, I-”

Kanna lightly took Fox’s arm, and tugged him out of the room. Cody and Obi-Wan deserved some privacy. 

*******

Cody never doubted that Kanna would succeed. According to Fox, and Dusk, she never failed at anything she put her mind to. Still, for some reason, he wasn’t actually expecting to see Obi-Wan, His General, standing there.

He looked older. Greyer. More tired.

But, to be honest, the same could be said about him. About all of them.

Cody had had an entire list of things that he planned to say if he saw his General again, but now that he was right there, he found himself unable to say anything. 

“General, I-” He was vaguely aware of Kanna ushering Fox and Skywalker’s toddler out of the room, but he shoved it away as unimportant. He would buy Kanna something nice later. 

“Cody,” Obi-Wan still said his name like it was something beautiful. Like he was supposed to be cherished. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you.”

Cody couldn’t help but gape at him. He had shot him! Off a cliff! And he still said bullshit like that?!

“I’m so sorry, General.” He finally managed to rasp out, “I-There’s nothing that I-”

Obi-Wan moved. One of his hands reached out and lightly touched his face, while the other took one of his hands. “No. No, I’m sorry. I believed that you shot me because I failed you in some way. I’m sorry that I believed so poorly of you.”

Cody let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob, “You’re such an idiot. I shot you! What were you supposed to think?”

“I was supposed to trust you.” Obi-Wan replied, leaning forward and lightly bumping his forehead against Cody’s. “That’s what I promised, isn’t it?” And, for a moment, they were back on the Negotiator. Before the Purge. Before Utapau. And it was just Obi-Wan and Cody, rather than the General and his Commander.

Cody’s mouth was dry, but it wasn’t from the heat of Tatooine, “I never stopped loving you.” He mumbled, “If you can forgive me for...for shooting you, then-”

Obi-Wan smiled, “I never stopped loving you either,” He admitted quietly, “If you’re willing to give me a chance, we can start again. As we are now, rather than as we were then.”

“I can’t think of anything that would make me happier,” Cody murmured. He closed his eyes, and then slowly pulled away. “We should probably get you settled somewhere. You can share my room, unless you want your own?”

“Sharing is more than fine.” Obi-Wan hesitated, “No one will make any comments?”

“Kanna and Fox have been sharing a room for weeks,” Cody said flatly, “No one’s going to say shit, because if they do then they’ll answer to me.” He added with a raised voice towards the back of the ship.

“Ooh, busted.” Kanna’s muffled voice came from behind the closed door, and Cody smiled. His new family was a lot smaller than his original family, but he loved them with the same intensity. 

[tiredassmage]

Okay. The stars might be aligning today. Something might be working out in my favor and, perhaps, I can finally bring y'all in on. the absolute shenanigans that have finally taken shape between Alucren and Tyr.

Incredibly strong urge to ID him as 'the bastard man in question,' but. look, he is. I wouldn't exactly be wrong.

Anyway, in an attempt to be brief, Alucren is recruited to Imperial Intelligence when the class story's already kicked off. He's maybe three years older than Tyr and I need to establish now that that does not mean he's the older sibling. This will make sense in a minute. Perhaps.

So, he's designated Cipher Eleven and, largely, he knows Tyr by reputation as Cipher Nine, but they don't. really interact directly until they're some of the limited survivors of ImpIntel's fallout and Alucren becomes Tyr's Class-A Nuisance in Sith Intelligence. Eleven fucks with Nine because somebody's gotta see the guy loosen up, he argues. Which is hilarious because out of the two of them, Alucren is the one with the largely unbending loyalty to the Empire and the Sith.

[Everyone be thankful he wasn't the main subject of the Imperial Agent storyline. I don't think he'd survive the winter. Definitely not with his pretty aviator sunglasses in-tact about the galaxy and how it works, at least.]

The code I've cracked about this is that it is a largely one-sided mess fueled mostly by a lot of insecurities on Alucren's part. He's the only son of four children, and as loving as that family set up was, he still feels a responsibility to his family's name and legacy [and they have quite a long one in service to Imperial domestic interests; sidebar, Alucren's kind of a walking encyclopedia of Imperial history because of this. Let him take you on a museum date and tell you historical fun facts. Enrichment!]

And Nine has a whopping reputation as being one of the best Ciphers Imperial Intelligence ever trained. Of course, Alucren isn't... in on how much that also essentially turned Tyr's life inside out and wrung it out like a dish towel, but, hey! Details! And Alucren is, in a word, stubborn. And maybe a little competitive. And not all that certain of his own position in the service.

So, what's a guy to do but develop a homoerotic, one-sided rivalry with his essentially boss given Tyr's sort of right-hand man status to Lana? It's totally straight to think, "yeah, bet if I kissed him, that'd shut him up," right? Right! According to Alucren.

[oh honey you got a big storm coming, son]

Tyr is, largely, either willfully or just blatantly kinda... not on the same page about this. At least in Sith Intelligence. Alucren's whole attitude bit is a little grating, but Tyr's a professional and. mostly can afford to set aside the inconvenience of dealing with Alucren's smartassery to get their respective jobs done.

And then, in really short summary, the plot keeps happening. Alucren may or may not develop a bit of a crush on a Sith he starts serving [a smoking hot certain Wrath of the Emperor belonging to @hyrohkaah] (congratulations on the bisexuality Alucren!!!). It takes. a while for Alucren to really sus any of this whole Deal out about himself because he's very image-oriented. He has a Presentation to maintain about himself. Luckily for him, Tyr's a perceptive little shit and. eventually also not above throwing some of his stupid shenanigans back at his face.

Ultimately, there isn't any romantic attraction between these two fools, but Alucren still likes to take Tyr's patience and control for a spin around the block for the thrills and Tyr occasionally yanks back just as hard for the amusement. Sometimes this looks a lot more like indignant siblings arguing over their LegoCity build that's taken up the basement floor and sometimes it means are they flirting or fighting and the answer is yes.

And I'm also going to say Alucren's loyalty becomes... a lot more interesting for that sort of healed relationship between him and Tyr. :3 Alucren's a man that will always call the Empire home, so he'll probably end up serving it the rest of his life. But he also knows Nine is not a man to do anything by halves, and he does nothing without extremely good reason. And it'd just be a shame if I made them confront the possibility of shooting at each other. I mean. >.>

Spoiler alert: Alucren's probably not anywhere near as certain of his ability to follow through with that threat as he'd like to be. It'd surprise both of them, honestly. But you didn't hear that from me.

Anyway. He's a bit of a loser, actually, and I love him. Insultingly and affectionately. He's just.... a little like my pathetically sopping wet greasy alley rat. Unfortunately, he's adorable. And if someone punched him, he'd probably still deserve it.

And that, my friends, is the insane Tom & Jerry shit that has consumed me in the last two weeks or so about Alucren and Tyr. I'd usually say thanks for coming to my TED Talk, but this man's ego is already the broadside of a Destroyer in size and we just don't need to encourage that.

[bougiebutchbitch]

I am once again forcibly reminded of why I dislike S1 cameron

she really is constantly trying to push for a romantic relationship with House when he keeps making it clear that he’s not interested, because she thinks he has some feelings for her and doesn’t know how to handle them

which is true to a degree!

but still doesn’t make that shit okay!

[fazcinatingblog]

One night was washed out with heavy rain, the next night was too dangerous, and now the hurricanes decide to just pack it all in for not much???? Big bash is dead.

[liu-anhuaming]

I had my final review for my probationary period at work today, and it went really well. Feels good to finally have a boss who appreciates the fact that I'm a perfectionist/neurotically detail-oriented weirdo

[miserye]

oh man.

[sapphire-weapon]

crawls back in after finishing the ffxvi demo

curls up into a ball on the floor

sobs

[autisticcassandracain]

Reading Blue Beetle: Graduation Day and I have to ask. Since when does Jaime listen to the Justice League.

[foreverfalling21]

I should probably stop openly talking about lying to people in positions of authority at work 😅 but like it's so hard when a coworker is like "God I really hope I get this day off" and all I want to say is "then lie bitch!" Like tell them you have an uncancellable doctor's appointment or you need it off to drive your friend to the airport or your dog needs to be picked up from surgery. I don't care if it's actually for one of those reason or if they just don't want to work that day. Fuck capitalism.

The amount of times I've said "it's okay to lie to people in power" at work is honestly so high. Like I'm not a liar, I'm a pretty honest person unless it's about my deep personal feelings or whatever but I do NOT get the hang up about always telling the truth. Like sometimes a white lie is fine. And no matter what, people in positions of authority will never fully have your back, esp if they have someone else to answer to.

[ff2-soda-pop]

why is communications textbook so aggressively like. "we're going to make everything about Work". I thought this was about communicating with other people-

[grimandghoulish]

.

[glitter-stained]

More of trans allegory Jason and the goons VS the batfam:

Transmasc older goon, trying to connect: Hey out of curiosity boss, when did your egg crack?

Jason, thinking this is a bird pun about how he became Robin: Uh, 12 I guess...

****

Penguin henchman: Wow, you really are okay calling yourselves goons? Isn't that like a little demeaning?

Red Hood Goon: Inclusivity my guy -Henchperson is a mouthful, and that way, we don't have to assume.

Penguin Henchman: Oh my god that's so thoughtful!

*they resume shooting at eachother.*

*****

Batman You're not okay Hood, you need a professional. Please, we can help you!

Jason: There's nothing wrong with me, I won't let you throw me into Arkham!

Goon of the week: Yeah Batfreak, the boss doesn't need help, there's nothing wrong with him! How would you like it if we tried to convert you out of being a furry, huh?!!

Batman: reconsiders life choices.

****

Angry goon: *beats the shit out of Nightwing with a trans pride flag*

Dick, a bisexual cis metrosexual: I'm not sure what is happening but this feels offensive.

****

Batman: Please, I know there's a lot of bad blood, but you're still my child...

Jason: Really? Because I clearly remember you saying you weren't my father and didn't have to deal with my "teenage angst"!

The Goons: You said what?!

Oracle : You said what?!

Dick, standing up and picking up the pride flag: You said what.

[fxllfaiiry]

─ you're the sunflower ੈ✩‧₊˚

✶ pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader

✶ synopsis: everyone on the team loves you, expect miguel who seems to hate you more than anyone.

✶ warnings: angst!! major angst. sunshine!reader x grumpy!miguel. reader is nicknamed sunflower, mentions of death.

✶ notes: there's one spanish sentence in this, I'm not good with spanish so if I've made a mistake please tell me so i can fix it! part two is already up!!!

Everyone on the team loved you from the moment you joined, everyone, except Miguel. 

You knew Miguel was cold towards everyone, but he was extra cold with you. Maybe it was because of how different your personalities were. 

You were the embodiment of sunshine, always positive in any situation, putting others before yourself. Hence why everyone calls you sunflower, it fits perfectly, Miles was proud of coming up with it. 

Miguel on the other hand was cold and distant but that didn't stop you from trying to get him to open up. You'd try to have simple conversations with him but nothing, all you would receive in reply was an eye roll or a slight grunt, but you wouldn't give up that easily. 

Like today, you got him some coffee. 

"Morning, boss. Got you some coffee." You said in your usual cheerful tone. 

"Why?" He raised his eyebrows, looking down at you suspiciously. That's the most he's said to you all week. 

"Because I wanted to." You shrugged, placing it down on his desk. 

He steped down walking towards his desk, you couldn't help but stare at him, unfortunately for you, everything about him was so attractive, it's such a shame he hated you. 

"This isn't how I like my coffee." 

"Huh?" You snapped out of your daydream at the sound of his voice. 

"The coffee, it tastes terrible. Get it from another place next time." 

"Well, actually I made it-" But he had already walked away from you not listening to a word you said. "Alright, never mind, I'll just go back to work." You mumbled hurt by his words. 

"Wait, hold on." You looked up, thinking, maybe he'll say something nice after all. 

"Yeah?" 

"Take the coffee with you, I won't be drinking it." 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Girl, why do you look so sad? Did Miguel do something again?" Jess asked with a frown, she did not like seeing you sad. 

"No."

"Sunflower…"

"Okay, yes." Miguel being cold towards you was normal, he never spoke to you unless necessary. Out of everyone here, he probably hated you the most, even more than Miles.  

"Sunflower, I've told you to stop trying." Jess sighed. 

"I know, I know… why does he hate me so much, Jess?" 

"That's just the way he is, don't overthink it. It's his loss, baby." She replied, gently patting your shoulder. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Today was going to be a good day, you were so sure of it. 

But, of course, you were wrong. 

Everything was going great up until a few hours ago. 

Miguel had assigned you on a mission to catch an anomaly, alongside a few other spider-people. His instructions were clear, stick to the plan and catch the anomaly. It was supposed to be simple. 

If only you didn't disobey him. You screwed up badly, and because of that, you could have been killed. 

"Why don't you ever listen?" Miguel shouted. No one had ever seen him this angry. 

"I was just tryin-" 

"¡Ay, por el amor de Dios!" Being yelled at by your boss in front of your coworkers was humiliating, everyone was looking at you with pity. 

"I'm sick of this, why can’t you follow simple instructions? Is it that hard to understand?" He barked, towering over you. 

"It's not a big deal." You tried to keep your composure, you didn't want to humiliate yourself further by bursting into tears. 

"Not a big deal? You could've died! A simple mistake would have ruined the whole mission." 

Don't cry. Don't cry. 

"But we're all fine, aren't we?" You weakly chuckled. That was the wrong thing to say because it only made him angrier. 

"Oh? If that's the attitude you have then you shouldn't even be on the team." Ouch. 

"Miguel, I think that's enough-" Hobie said, quickly jumping in. 

"Not now, Hobie." He growled. 

Never once did you think that you'd be in a situation like this. 

"If you put more focus on trying to be good at your job, rather than impressing me, we wouldn't even be here!" Oh, so he did notice that. 

At this point, tears were streaming freely down your face and you made no attempt to stop them. 

"Yep, you got it, boss." You smiled up at him through your tears. It was pathetic, but you did not care, you just wanted to leave and never come back. 

"Next time make sure this doesn't happen." 

"It won't happen next time." That's because there won't be a next time.

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

"you should ask for help when you need it" is the biggest lie I was ever told, because in my experience I can be screaming from the rooftops for help and at most I get a pat on the head and a "nahhh, you'll be fine :)"

[the-modern-typewriter]

Imagine a villain straight refusing to fight another member of the Hero Team just cuz his hero archnemesis is not present

"Where are they?"

"Oh, not again." The protagonist could feel a headache coming on. "Look-"

"-Are they hurt?" The villain's eyes went dark and dangerous. "Who hurt them?"

"They're fine! Oh my god."

"Then where are they?"

The protagonist definitely had a headache. "It's their day off."

"They didn't tell me they had the day off. What's wrong?"

The really concerning part was that the hero probably would tell the villain which days they were working and which they weren't. The two of them were as bad as each other! The hero was going to be unbearable when they came back and found out that the team had fought the villain without them.

"Can we just get this over with?" the protagonist tried.

"No."

The protagonist sighed. They pinched the bridge of their nose and took a few deep breaths. "Okay," they said slowly. "But you realise I'm still going to have confiscate your nightmare robot."

"It's not for you. And don't think I didn't notice you dodging the question!"

The protagonist considered their options; lies, truth, everything in between.

The villain's nightmare robot hunkered down a little more pointedly in the middle of the bridge. Several people honked their horns. It was, honestly, embarrassing for everyone involved at that point.

"Their grandma died."

"Oh no." The villain's whole face softened. "Grandma L or Grandma P?"

Of course he knew the hero's grandparents. Of course he did. "Look, about the robot-"

"-I'll reschedule," the villain said.

"I can't let you keep the robot. My boss would have my head."

"That sounds like a 'you' problem. I have flowers to send."

The protagonist's eye twitched. "If you try and walk away with it-"

"-Do you really want to traumatize this entire bridge of innocent civilians?"

"I'm sure they're traumatized having to listen to you two idiots on a weekly basis."

"I'm taking the robot. When are they back?"

"They haven't said," the protagonist said, through gritted teeth. "As you know-"

"-They'll be doing all the funeral arrangements. Yeah. You know what, give me their number. I'll text them."

"I'm not giving you their number."

"Why not?"

"It's against policy."

"I'd like to express my condolences."

The protagonist looked them dead in the face. "Mm. That sounds like a 'you' problem. I have a robot to confiscate."

The robot slammed a fist into the bridge. It wobbled precariously.

The protagonist raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. They folded their arms across their chest.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" the villain snarled.

"I hate you too, don't worry."

"I should kill you."

"They'd have so much paperwork when they got back from the funeral. It would really improve their month, you killing me."

They ended up glaring at each other.

"If I give you the bloody stupid robot, will you give me their number?"

The protagonist smiled sweetly. "That's the only smart thing I've ever heard you say."

Everyone, generally, preferred it when the hero was around.

They all made sure it didn't happen again.

[pathologicalreid]

hotchner!reader (hotch’s daughter) who’s married/dating Spencer, and then telling her dad she’s pregnant, lots of fluff please!! :)<3

goads and goats | S.R.

telling your dad (who is also your boss) you're having a baby ends in him giving spencer a hard time

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: accidental pregnancy, missed period, hotchner!reader, pregnant!reader, not proofread, dad!hotch, established relationship word count: 1.01k a/n: i have been so down and out about writing recently but i had so much fun writing this. i firmly believe that if spencer was dating hotch's daughter hotch would never let that man have a moment of peace.

“He’s going to throttle me,” your boyfriend announced mournfully, holding the door open for you to enter headquarters, the two of you flashing your badges at security before passing through the metal detectors together.

Rolling your eyes, you reached your hand out and nearly dragged him into the elevator with you. He had been digging his heels in the mud all morning, even going so far as to propose playing hooky, which you were fairly certain he had never done in the history of ever. “He is not going to throttle you. I mean, just imagine the HR implications,” you gently chastised, watching Spencer as he leaned against the wall of the elevator. “Hey,” you said, standing in front of him, you placed a hand on his chest, “We don’t have to tell him today, you know. It could be our little secret for a while.”

Quicker than you expected, Spencer shook his head, “Of course, we have to tell him today. What would happen if you got sent out into the field?” He self-consciously readjusted the strap of his shoulder bag before looking up to watch the floor numbers rise as the elevator went up, “If we didn’t tell him because of my own reservations and then something happened to you, it’d… I’d…”

Your chest clenched as his voice trailed off and you thought of the positive pregnancy tests that were still sitting on your bathroom counter. The tiny wad of cells that had been settling in your womb for weeks without your knowledge – until Spencer asked if you needed pads while you had been grocery shopping – was already so loved.

The first test had come back with such a faint line that you convinced yourself it was just a shadow of an indent on the fragile plastic, but the test you took this morning had been glaringly positive. Slowly, you reached out and took Spencer’s hand, intertwining your fingers as the door to the elevator opened and the two of you stepped out together, “Nothing’s going to happen to me, okay?”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded while holding the glass door to the bullpen open for you, glancing up, you saw that your dad’s office door was open. As soon as you set your things at your desk, you looked at Spencer, nodding up the steps, figuring it was better to do this now than wait.

By Spencer’s math, you were approximately five weeks pregnant, much earlier than people usually elect to share their news. Still, both of you immediately decided it was in your best interest to let your dad know right away.

Leading the way, you knocked on the heavy wooden door to get his attention, his head snapped up in the direction of the noise, shoulders relaxing slightly when he saw it was you, likely having thought a case was being brought in. “Do you have a second?” You asked softly, nerves creeping up as your father waved the both of you in.

“For you, of course,” he responded, nodding at Spencer in acknowledgment before watching suspiciously as the two of you sat in the chairs in front of his desk. “What’s wrong?” He asked, watching you fold and unfold your hands in your lap, it didn’t help that Spencer looked like he had been called into the principal’s office.

You shook your head, “Nothing’s wrong, Dad. We just needed to have a chat,” you told him.

Frowning, his curiosity deepened, “A chat?” Hotch questioned the word that wasn’t a frequent flyer in your lexicon.

“A talk?” You tried again meekly, knowing that he’d start making his own conclusions if you didn’t say something soon.

He looked over at your boyfriend, “If it’s just a talk then why is Reid avoiding eye contact?”

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you exhaled heavily, “We should’ve waited,” you muttered to no one in particular.

“Waited for what, exactly? You’re not splitting up, are you?” He inquired, likely developing a list of forms that would need to be filled out if the two of you had in fact broken up.

You waved your hand aimlessly in the air. It seemed that neither of you had fully understood how hard it would be to announce your accidental pregnancy to your father and your boss simultaneously.

Since neither of you spoke, your father continued, “I’m obligated to side with my daughter. Which isn’t solely based on my belief that she can do no wrong, but if-“

“I’m pregnant,” you blurted, clamping your hand over your mouth as if you could recapture the words that had flown from your lips.

What followed was the silence that you had dreaded. Weren’t people supposed to jump for joy in situations like this? However, the moment Hotch jumped for joy for anything would likely end in someone being institutionalized.

Slowly, you dropped your hand from your mouth, watching your father as if he were a ticking time bomb.

“Is this a good thing?” He asked, finally shattering the wall of silence that had been put up.

Your eyes widened as you looked between your father and your boyfriend, “Oh, yes! We’re very happy,” you clarified, bracing your hands on the armrests of your chair.

Finally, your dad smiled and stood up from his desk chair, waving you over and enveloping you in a hug, “Then congratulations,” he told you, pulling away slightly, “How long have you known?”

You looked back at Spencer, who was standing up beside you and looking decidedly less nervous, “About ten hours,” he answered for the both of you.

Releasing you, your father looked your boyfriend up and down, “You should probably get married before the baby arrives,” he suggested. You recognized the mischievous look on his face – you frequently sported the same look.

“Right, of course,” Spencer said, straightening his posture behind you, nerves once again emanating from him.

You held a hand up, “An incredibly bold statement considering I was in your wedding,” you peered at your father.

Ignoring you, your dad continued, “So, we should settle on a dowry.”

“Dad!”