#incorrect jason todd

[cardinalcheerio]

I imagine that the Batkids go out for food every once in a while.

So there they are all sitting at the restaurant, when dick goes to pay and accidentally uses one of Bruce's cards.

They get back to the cave to bruce freaking out, everyone is like "IDENTITY BREACH AHHHHH" y'know.

And the next day a paper comes out, "Bats steal Brucies Credit Card!"

From then on they use Bruce's cards for snacks in the field and gotham just accepts that

1. Bruce funds the Bats

2. They take it from him

3. Bruce and Batman dated and Batman stole his credit cards and gave them to his kids.

[ryemiffie]

More quotes from my day turned into batman incorrect quotes for your day!

Joker: And now, the time has come for the jaw-dropping final act of the life of the infamous Nightwing!

Nightwing, pulling an uno card out of nowhere: Nice try, uno reverse!

Joker: Aw damn, you've foiled my plot again!

Jason: What?! All he did was pull out an uno card!

Joker: Yeah, an uno reverse card.

Jason: ??

Joker, handing over his weapon to nightwing: Well I suppose I ought to give this to you now.

Jason: You're just gonna give him your weapon?!

Joker: Well of course, those are the rules.

Jason: So if I had just pulled out my trusty uno reverse card back when you were trying to kill me, you'd have just, what? Stopped?

Joker: you had an uno reverse card on you?

Jason: No I didn't have a fucking uno reverse card on me!

Joker: Oh well that's a shame.

Jason: Are you kidding me right now!?

Nightwing: How do you not carry an uno reverse card around with you wherever you go at this point?

Jason: Why the fuck would I!?

Nightwing: Cause we fight these extravagant assholes everyday, they're all wack, of course they abide by uno reverse card rules!

Jason: Well gee, thanks for the heads up!

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Jason: Speakin of money, how bout the 20$ you owe me?

Tim: Oh yea. Well, I only have 10$. *Takes out a 10$ bill, handin it to Jason*  So, here's 10$. I owe you 10$.

Jason: Thanks.

Dick: Hey. You owe me 20$.

Jason: Well, here's 10$ and I owe you 10$. *Hands the bill to Dick*

Tim: Ah, ah. You owe me 20$.

Dick: Here's 10$, I owe you 10$. *Gives the bill back to Tim*

Tim: Here's the 10$ I owe you. *Gives the bill to Jason*

Jason: Here's the 10$ I owe you. *Gives the bill to Dick*

Dick: Here's the 10$ I owe you. *Gives the bill back to Tim*

Tim: Good! Now we're all even! *Pockets the bill*

[lilylovelyxo]

*Y/N, Dick, and Roy watching Jason beat the shit out of a man for putting his hands on you*

Dick: “Oh, boy…”

Y/N: “I'm going to watch through my fingers. No, I'm not.”

Dick: “I'm going to look away.”

Roy: “I think we're gonna have to lay low for a little while after this.”

[leftdreamlandjellyfish]

Jason, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- Dick, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? Tim, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. Damian, appalled: Call the exorcist.

[incorrect-waynemanor]

jason: i'm damian wayne’s emergency contact

nurse: so, you're here to pick him up?

jason: i'm here to be removed as his emergency contact

[parkjammys]

Dick: I heard y/n yell at Jason to put the knife down, and I have never rushed into a room that fast before

Y/N: look we need tomatoes and lettuce, and look Jason has placed cucumbers and fish. YOU GOTTA PAY ATTENTION WHEN WE PLAY OVERCOOKED

Jason: WHAT THE FUCK, WHO MADE YOU THE HEAD CHEF

[sis-does-simp]

Camping

Y/N: Damn, I broke my nail.

Dick: Aw, was it putting up your tent?

Jason: *nervously stands in front of a tree with human scratch marks on it*

Y/N: *keeps their eyes to the floor*

Dick: *increasingly uncomfortable* Was it putting up your tent y/n !??!??

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Business

Jason: I like your new pants! Y/N: Thanks, they were 50% off! Jason: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks* Y/N: The store can’t just give away clothes for free. Jason: That’s… not what I meant. Y/N: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Jason.

Damian: Please take me home

[cardinalcheerio]

Half the time I'm like, "can we have jason todd media not all about his death"?

Then I realize. If I died I would never shut up about it.

"Can you get up and grab that for me?"- absolutely not. My legs are tired from death.

"Will you go to the store with me?"- leaving the house?!? What if I die AGAIN.

So yeah, anyone who thinks jason talks about his death too much. Be honest. We'd all do the exact same thing.

[ryemiffie]

More quotes from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Tim: Damn, you scared me to death.

Jason: Really? I didn't know dead people could talk.

Tim: Yeah well you seem to be talking just fine.

Jason: I- hm..

[wondersinwaynemanor]

some Red Hood's men discussion

Man 1: I heard the boss is a redhead and he uses this special shampoo to make sure his hair don't fall off. His helmet keeps his hair healthy.

Man 2: That's possible. But probably cus he's old, his hair is falling out. And he uses a flip phone, right? I think the boss must be old, like nearing 50's. He doesn't know modern technology.

Man 3: Ah, man, fuck the rich and their technology. But hear this out. I think the boss is secretly a meta. I saw him get stabbed by the chest, but didn't even bleed out. And look how ridiculously tall he is!

Man 4: Nah, dude, we're just weak and short as fuck compared to him. But what if the boss is actually a writer? I mean, we've seen those large shelves of books in his office. I'm sure he doesn't only read, but also write, right?

Man 5: Hmmm, maybe. The boss is smart as fuck. But you won't be ready for this? Cus I swear to God, I've heard someone say he's a fan of Wonder Woman. I think I've seen a Wonder Woman poster in his office.

Man 6: Huh? I don't blame him. Wonder Woman is beautiful and hot as fuck-

Red Hood, voice so loud and deep, which scares his men: What are you ladies gossiping about? Get your lazy asses back to work! You better make sure you know how this lead goes tonight cus if not. Well, it will be bloody.

Man 1: Sorry, boss.

Man 2: On it, boss.

Man 3: Right away, boss.

Once the Red Hood turns around from his men, he checks his flip phone to read the message from Nightwing about when will Wonder Woman be visiting the Manor for brunch so he can get her to sign his new Wonder Woman merch.

turns out Red Hood's men are only right about the Wonder Woman one, but who knows. he actually might be a writer too.

[lilylovelyxo]

Y/N walking into the room with a towel: “I’m going to take a shower, do you care to join me?”

Jason setting down his book: “You know, honey, there’s a gun in the footlocker in the garage. If I ever say no to that question I want you to use it on me.”

[leftdreamlandjellyfish]

Jason, sleep-deprived: Hand me the people opener. Dick: ... Dick: Pardon? Jason, annoyed: The people opener! Just hand it to me! Dick, stressed: WHAT THE FUCK IS A PEOPLE OPENER? Jason: How do you not know what a people opener is? Its pointy- you know? With a handle? Dick: Knife. It's called a knife.

[incorrect-dc-qoutes]

Jason: Bruce told me to pick my battles and I picked all of them

[parkjammys]

Dick: I'm pretty sure it's called a charcuterie board

Jason: don't you get tired of being wrong? It's obviously called a charcoochie board

Tim: no way, you're both wrong. I'm 100% sure it's called a sharkcoochie board