#incorrect jason todd

[n0tsketchyy]

Headcanon that Jason goes to his grave to relax and absolutely scares the shit out of people

———

Dick: approaching Jason's headstone with flowers, and teary eyes "Hey Little Wing... I know we argued yesterday, and I—I just needed to come here like I used to. Sometimes I forget you're actually back."

The ground shifts slightly beneath him. Dick freezes.

Jason: casually pushing open his coffin lid and sitting up with bed hair and a stifled yawn "Could you keep it down? Some of us are trying to rest in peace here."

Dick: jumps backward, tripping over a nearby headstone and falling flat on his back. His scream echoes through the cemetery. "HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE ACTUAL—" clutches his chest "JASON?!"

Jason: stretching "Who were you expecting? The Joker?"

Dick: scrambling to his feet, voice cracking "WHY WERE YOU IN YOUR GRAVE?!"

Jason: climbing out and brushing dirt off his jacket "It's the only place in this godforsaken city where I can get some peace and quiet. Alfred's always cleaning at the manor, Tim's typing is incessant, and Damian—" shudders dramatically, "—exists loudly." gestures to the coffin "Memory foam. Added it last month."

Dick: still hyperventilating "That's... that's the most morbid thing I've ever heard."

Jason: shrugging "Says the guy who talks to my headstone when I'm not dead."

Dick: after a long pause "...Does Alfred know about this?"

Jason: "Who do you think brings me sandwiches?"

[thebat-musicman]

*phone call*

Jason; I’m sorry, Talia. I can’t kill Bruce.

Talia: You asked me yesterday if I could “break Bruce out of the afterlife so I can kill him over and over.”

Jason: Yeah…that would have been fun. But he’s given me an offer I can’t refuse.

Talia: He killed the clown?

Jason: He gave me a first edition Pride and Prejudice book. It says by a lady instead of Jane Austen.

Talia: You are sacrificing months of training and planning for a book?

Jason: I’m weak, Talia. I’m weak.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Jason: I will kill you: basic threat, overused, lacks serious weight. Pee your pants: up-and-coming, respectable, unexpected.

Jason: I will pee your pants: full of promise of grief and terror, absolutely devastating.

Rose: Your pants can't wait for my pee.

Damian: And here we have it, the most terrifying sentence in the universe.

[red-replacement]

"im so hungry i could eat ___" trend with the batkids

-----

dick, recording with jason in the background: im so hungry i could eat artemis

jason, looking up from his book: well im so hungry i could eat wally west!

dick, shoving jason: take that back.

-----

steph, recording with damian and tim fighting in the background: im sooooo hungry i could eat a superboy!

tim and damian, look up at steph:

tim: I DID NOT GO THROUGH HELL JUST FOR YOU TO-

-----

cass, recording next to bruce: im so hungry i could eat catwoman

bruce, unaware of tiktok trends: you... cass, you can't eat people

----

duke, recording next to damian: im so hungry i cou-

damian: andre cipriani.

duke: how do you know about him!?

----

barbara: im so hungry i could eat superman

bruce, confused: you and cass? girls you can't eat people

----

jon, recording with damian next to him: im so hungry i could eat a horse!

damian: jon that's not how the trend goes

----

feel free to add more in the reblogs :3

[arkangelo-7]

Bruce *getting shot at by Red Hood*: Jesus Christ!

Jason Todd, recognizing the potential for the best identity reveal of all time: Not quite, motherfucker.

[caffeinated-cartoonist]

Another incorrect quote comic based on actual conversations I wrote in my quotebook. I only changed the names. Also since I have been on my DC kick again my mom got me the Wendy’s toybox with the batman and robin figures.

[sodamnbored]

Jason, bumping into him on the street: Stalker says what.

Dick, snorting: Shut up. I’m on an errand for Bruce. You can come help me if you like.

Jason shrugging, falling into step: Sure. What’re we looking for?

Dick: Batmobile’s busted. He needs us to go find a tool.

Tim: *casually heading the other way, minding his own business*

Jason, yoinking a disgruntled Tim back by his collar: Well that was easy.

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*batkids going out in gotham for the night*

Bruce: And what do you do if you get stopped by the cops?

All of the kids: let Tim or Jason deal with it as the two white passing ones.

Bruce: Good, now go have fun.

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Tim, cracking his knuckles and joints: snap crackle pop

Jason: do you have to say that every time??

Tim: if I don't

Tim: my bones won't crack right

Tim: do you not want my bones to crack right?!?!?

Jason: I definitely want to snap your bones right now

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Dick: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Tim: My life is a little too much fall out and not enough boy.

Jason: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance

Damian: My life is a little too much imagination and not enough dragons.

Bruce: *Facepalmin* All I asked was how your weekend was.

[n0tsketchyy]

I live for Damian fully embracing his role as the feral younger brother of the Bat family and im not afraid to admit it.

Tim, on the phone: I can't make it to the meeting, I have a family emergency.

Hangs up and turns to see Damian hanging upside down from his ceiling

Tim: How long have you been there?!

Damian: Long enough to know your password is "RedRobinYum123."

Tim: GET OUT OF MY ROOM!

———

Dick: Damian, did you threaten the mailman again?

Damian: He was suspiciously regular in his arrival times. No one is that consistent without nefarious intent.

Dick: That's... literally his job.

Damian: Then why did he run when I appeared in the bushes with my katana?

———

Jason: Has anyone seen my leather jacket?

Damian walks by wearing Jason's jacket that reaches his knees

Jason: That's my—

Damian: I've claimed it as spoils of war. You fell asleep on patrol.

Jason: I was shot with tranquilizer darts!

Damian: Excuses are for the weak, Todd.

[thebat-musicman]

How Jason as Nightwing should have gone

Jason: Im Nightwing now

Dick: Okay

Jason: This doesn’t offend you at all? You don't want to brutally murder me?

Dick: No…?

Jason: *sigh* Man, I gotta apologize to Tim

[theendlessnessofbeingme]

Damian: I can’t believe you have decided to marry one of my worst enemies.

Stephanie: I know. But we’re getting divorced in 6 months besides it’s not actually me. It’s Presley who’s gonna be legally married to him

Jason: Has anyone ever told you both that this friendship is really fucking weird?

Damian: Fuck off Todd

Stephanie: Jay, you have no idea what a heathy friendship looks like how would you what’s normal?

Jason: Jesus fine! I’ll go.

Stephanie: Anyway, look I know that we had plans but since I’ll be gone I have instructed Dick to be my replacement.

Damian: And you believe he can handle it?

Stephanie: I hope so. And if anything gets screwed up we can fix it when I get back and obviously there are a few things we have to put on hold.

Damian: I’m not going to have to watch our shows with him am I? He speaks through the whole thing, it’s bothersome.

Stephanie: Oh god no! I wouldn’t subject you to that. We’re gonna have to pause those for now but he will be taking you to your first little league baseball game.

Damian: Is he going be dressed in that ridiculous outfit again with that horrendous large red finger?

Stephanie: Probably. You know how he gets. Let’s just hope he doesn’t start a fight in the stands again

[everwalldigan]

Pre utrh Jason opening up a little bookshop as a side hustle to his Crime Lord business (only to do evil of course, like making little book stands to promote his favourite books) and one day Bruce walks by, sees all of Jason’s favourite books on display in the window and decides to walk in (because he’s a masochistic fuck like that.)

Jason, without looking up: judging by you just standing there, I assume you don’t know your way around. Be right with y—

Bruce, sharply scanning Jason’s rapidly paling face while trying to look casual: oh no don’t worry! Take your time! What’s your name?

Jason, panicking: Tason Jodd

Bruce: that’s so funny, that sounds exactly like Jason Todd…

Jason: no it doesn’t

Bruce: It’s literally Jason Todd with the first letters swapped

Jason, sweating: no it’s not.

Bruce:

Jason:

Bruce, grabbing Jason’s arm: you’re coming with me

[shyjusticewarrior]

Jason: This could be an absolute failure. But knowing me, and knowing Rose, this is gonna go just fine.

Rose: I killed a man today. I lured him to death with a can of baked beans. That's my favorite way to of doing it.

[queenofghost]

Incorrect DC quotes part 49

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