#and I won’t pretend that there are plenty of aspects of the system that are so fucked beyond repair

[steddieas-shegoes]

Steve and Eddie go through the whole adoption process in 1996, despite how difficult it was to find somewhere willing to help them at all and despite their conflicted feelings on adoption.

The way they saw it though, providing a loving home for a child who needed one was better than the alternative. Eddie had enough experience with temporary foster homes to know stability was better than constant moving and questionable foster parents.

They get a foster placement almost immediately, a six year old girl named Amelia. She’s quiet, but not in a way that worries them. She’s very focused, and enjoys going to school more than any regular children’s hobbies. Neither of them know what to do with that other than keep encouraging it.

She stays for months, months turn into a year, and the agency finally gives them the go ahead to complete the adoption process.

But they don’t do anything without talking to Amelia.

She’s happy there, her therapist signs off on it immediately and explains that Amelia has shown more personality development and less signs of trauma with them than she had even living at home. Not to mention they actually brought her to appointments, unlike her previous guardians.

To celebrate, they throw a party with all their friends and family and tell Amelia she can invite anyone from school she wants. She invites everyone.

Turns out their daughter is a social butterfly and is friends with everyone.

At the party, Eddie pulls out his guitar, plays a bunch of popular kid-friendly songs after a very scathing look from Steve as a reminder to behave.

Amelia walks over to him after a few songs, on a sugar high like he’d never seen on her before, and asks to play the guitar.

He’s hesitant, but not because he’s still protective of his guitars, more because he doesn’t want her to embarrass herself in front of her friends. Kids are cruel, even and especially at seven, and the last thing he wants is this to be the thing that kids talk about for the next ten years.

She sits on the couch and holds it, arranging her fingers…correctly. Eddie watches.

Steve is watching from across the room.

She starts strumming, very quietly at first, not as confident as she’d been a moment ago. And then she starts really playing.

It’s one of the songs Eddie wrote. He played it for the last four months nonstop as he perfected it, and she’d apparently been watching.

Eddie’s jaw is on the floor and he quickly looks over to Steve, who has a similar look of surprise on his face.

He doesn’t interrupt her. She makes it through the entire song.

She looks up.

“When did you learn to play guitar?” Eddie asks.

“When I was watching you.”

“But have you played before tonight?”

Amelia shook her head, looking down. “Didn’t wanna touch it without asking.”

Eddie pulls the guitar from her hands and sets it aside, then pulls her into his lap and hugs her. Steve sits down on the couch next to them, hand on her back.

“You can always ask, sweetie. And if you’re this interested and this natural, we can buy you your own guitar if you want. I didn’t think you were interested in playing.”

“I wanna be like you,” Amelia admitted against his shoulder.

Eddie was done for. He looked at Steve, half-panicked, trying not to cry in front of these people, but Steve wasn’t faring any better.

“Then we can go get you a guitar tomorrow. You can get your own picks, too. They might even have purple ones.”

“Can I have red? Like yours?”

“Of course, sweetie.”

It only took them two days after that to realize she could play by ear, just like Eddie.

And then it only took another day after that to realize she had taught herself to read music too.

They spent hours and hours every week playing together while Steve cooked dinner or checked her homework or just watched them.

When Eddie’s band decided to record another album and go on tour when Amelia was 12, Eddie insisted that she get to be on it.

She ended up helping write one of their songs, played on the track on the album, and with a lot of work, convinced Steve to let them homeschool her for the entire 8 months they’d be on tour so she could perform on stage with her dad.

“Can’t believe she’s not even genetically yours. Are you sure you didn’t have an affair?” Steve asked the night before they were leaving for Europe.

“When would I have had an affair? I came back to the tour bus or hotel with you every single night,” Eddie kissed him softly. “She’s amazing, huh?”

“She is. What happens when she wants to be a full blown rockstar like her dad too?”

“Then we make sure she’s protected and has good people around her like I have. She could be a rockstar easily. She’s got the talent and the presence,” Eddie smiled. “And she’s got me to make sure no one takes advantage of her. But she’s only 12. We’ve got time to worry about that later.”

“You’re bringing her onstage every single night all over the world for the next eight months, baby. I think later is now.”

Eddie sighed. “She’s gonna blow them all away. I’m proud of her. Let’s focus on that for now.”

And she did blow everyone away. The fans and the media had nothing but good things to say, and Steve didn’t have to go into overprotective mom mode at all until she was 15 and signing a record deal of her own.

But between Eddie and him, the entire industry knew better than to fuck with her or them.

They made rules, of course. School still came first, she still had required family events to be at, she still had regular friends at home. She wasn’t allowed at any parties, not even the events for award ceremonies.

But she didn’t really need those rules. She had no interest in parties or abandoning her friends or family, and she was a straight A student who still had hopes of getting into Brown for Journalism like her Aunt Nancy. She had a passion for music and wanted to share it, but not at the cost of the rest of her life.

And Eddie and Steve did everything they could to make sure she got to have everything. That’s what they’d promised her from day one.

[prince-of-elsinore]

Dear M*A*S*H: S1 Ep 02 “To Market, to Market”

Previous episode here.

This is a tight episode that establishes some important recurring aspects of the series, namely the black market and idiocy, absurdity, and inefficiency of military bureaucracy and regulation. It is supremely ironic that Hawkeye and Trapper must scam to save lives; they must lie to the army in order to do the job the army expects and pays them to do--or at least, to do it well. Here is a further development on the theme established in the pilot, that the priority of these surgeons is saving lives, not merely ticking off boxes and following orders--doing things “the army way.” The episode provides a snapshot of how impossibly broken and corrupt the system they find themselves in is: black market and army both, each making the doctors’ jobs impossible, squeezing them from both sides.

The show never misses a chance to lampoon the brass: General Hammond won’t provide the hospital with more hydrocortisone, which will presumably save lives, because they’ve already received the allotted supply. Never mind if it was stolen; the box has been ticked off. And the General has more important things to do than talk to a lowly Lt. Colonel pleading for life-saving medicine; he has a meeting with MacArthur. Self-obsession, self-aggrandizement, and absurdly misplaced priorities are the hallmarks of the military and every antagonist on the show.

Crucially, the answer the characters provide to the problem of rampant theft is not stricter regulation and harsher discipline. If you can’t get rid of it, work with it. The solution to theft and the black market is: theft and the black market.

Charlie, the black market boss Hawkeye and Trapper go to see, is a stark contrast to General Hammond in many ways. First of all, check out his sweater and silk scarf. He looks relaxed and approachable. And the guy clearly cares about appearances, a fact Hawkeye picks up on and uses to his advantage. “For Charlie Lee, nothing but the best,” Charlie says with a winning smile and Midwestern accent. He’s personable, enjoys the finer things in life, and comes across as reasonable. No, he won’t help Hawk and Trap out of the goodness of his heart; he’s not running a charity. But he has real, concrete reasons for turning them down, unlike Hammond, who refused on empty, abstract principle. And when Hawkeye makes an offer that appeals to his vanity, he can’t refuse.

It’s also worth pointing out that Charlie and Hammond--who is simply the Brass of the Week--aren’t so different at their cores. There are plenty of instances over the course of the series wherein military men are shown to be equally susceptible to self-serving plans, even if they go against regulation. While not the focus of this episode, the hypocrisy of the brass and their “do as I say not as I do” attitude is often put in the spotlight. In this respect, the biggest difference between Charlie and Hammond is simply that Charlie never pretends to be anything he isn’t. The criminal world is like a fun house mirror to the military; it reflects back its human flaws, but wears them proudly on its sleeve.

You all know how it turns out; Henry’s oak desk, introduced as nothing but a gag about Henry’s own self-obsession, becomes the linchpin of the caper, the leverage that will allow Hawkweye and Trapper to get the hydrocortisone. Of course, stealing from one man overly concerned with appearances to give to another is presented as a morally correct action. Stealing from the rich, to give to the rich, and get what they need for the poor. Hawk and Trap are the Robin Hoods of the 4077. And while Henry is far more sympathetic and likable than either Hammond or Charlie, his fate is narratively sealed in his opening scene when he appears far more concerned with his shiny new toy than with the doctors’ dilemma. For the sake of ethics, he’s got to be taken down a peg.

(Seriously, Henry, why are you looking at your desk like that? While rubbing it and talking about solidity and strength?)

Other thoughts:

This episode was especially egregious with the use of “humorous” music cues and stingers: for instance, the “boing” sound when they open the back of the truck to find it empty. I assumed moments like that might be made slightly less awkward by a laugh track, but I checked and that’s a moment without the canned laughs!

I don’t think we ever hear again that weird “funky” version of Suicide is Painless that plays at the end as the helicopter flies off with the desk. Thank goodness.

Biggest laugh: Frank and Margaret’s exchange in Henry’s office in the dark while Hawkeye and Trapper hide behind the desk. Frank’s idea of seduction is truly something else. “Us, you, me... meeting like this... the way the flashlight catches your hair.” Cringe humor before cringe humor was a thing.

Parting thoughts: Overall, a solid follow up to the pilot. In fact, “To Market, to Market” is a classic caper that I was surprised came so early in the series, considering how that final gag of the helicopter flying off with Henry’s desk has stuck in my mind. 

[notsosilentsister]

Green Knight Spoilers

My friend didn't find the ending ambiguous at all. She was disappointed to hear that in the poem, Gawain definitely survives; she found that a cop-out, less true to life. In life, honor is rarely rewared, you can be honest and suffer, or lie and feel guilty. I can see her point -  virtue has to be its own reward, and if the Green Knight is Nature, well, Nature is merciless. Play stupid games, win stupid prices, why should Gawein survive his stunt? He's not the only boy out for glory - we already met the other ones as corpses on the battlefield.

If the Green Knight is not primarily a symbol of Nature (and how could he be? He is also Bertilac, the hunter, as opposed as he's aligned to it), however, he is - and I think the poem supports that reading - mostly just a regular guy enchanted by Morgan (not Gawain's mom in the poem) to mess with the knights and freak out Guinevere. And then, well, there's just no reason for him to kill Gawain. It is, after all, just a game; there's nothing to gain from Gawain's death; the point is to humble the knights, and stop them from buying into their own hype too much; Gawain needs to see that he's not quite as brave as he wants to appear. If I set out to humble someone, I'd like to get to enjoy their new-found humility in action; killing them right after seems a waste of my efforts. Nature doesn't care about honesty, people occasionally might.

When I read the story before, I lowkey always rooted for Gawain to cheat. I'm not very much one for dying for honor. Sacrificing yourself so that someone else may live, sure, I will admire that, but sacrificing yourself for your self-image? (And be it your self-image in your own eyes only, I actually don't even think the distinction matters all that much here). I found the beheading game exceedingly stupid, accepting the challenge was already the first mistake, but not necessarily one that merits getting killed for.

Of course that's just because I would never have accepted the challenge, I've never pretended to that sort of courage Gawain wants to project. It's a slightly more interesting challenge, if you understand the assignment - not a test of mettle but a trust-fall exercise. Can you see someone's vulnerability and not exploit that? Can you trust that they won't exploit yours in turn? Can you take the stranger at his word, that he's not seeking a foe? It's a game to test a lover, not a fighter.

Of course that's not how Gawain understands it - the film makes it very obvious that he doesn't; he freaks out, when the Green Knight makes no move to attack him, lays down his weapon, bares his neck - that's no way to find out who's the better fighter, and what other point could there be?

In the poem, it's less clear - maybe Gawain gets it, maybe he's just not here for it, maybe he's trying to be clever about it in an Alexander-just-smashing-the-knot way. And, fair enough, I wouldn't be too keen on doing trust-fall exercises with some rando coming in from the street to crash the party - like, maybe let's start with some small talk, get to know each other first. But in the poem, it's also very clear how much Gawain is set up by Arthur, who's in my opinion, the true villain of the piece. Gawain only volunteers after Arthur, who could nip the foolishness in the bud, succumbs to the Green Knight's taunts and decides to go along with the game to preserve his reputation. In a way, Gawain does nobly sacrifice himself, because, once Arthur has decided this is happening, someone has to. And in the poem, Arthur very much advises Gawain to go for the kill.

I also found it interesting, that the movie seemingly reverses that aspect, having Arthur remind Gawain that it's a game. It makes Gawain's failure more individual, less systemic. But in the film too, it's Arthur who decides, yep, this is happening, we're doing this. And in the film too, I don't necessarily get the sense it's about teaching his knights the value of accepting vulnerability for Arthur, he has just made a pretty ra-ra-speech about subjugating those Saxons. And as we later see the results of his military exploits on the corpse-strewn battlefield, he's also no stranger to the overkill approach - leave no survivors, don't risk a rematch.

This is the club, that Gawain wants to join - or vaguely feels he's supposed to want to join, since his mum and his uncle Arthur clearly want him to - and the film is about his realization that no, he actually doesn't, it's not worth it. He sees the emptiness of his ambitions, and how the power would corrupt him, and resigns himself to death. What shall it profit the man, if he shall gain the world, and lose his own soul?

I would have liked it better, if that realization just made him decide to go home as a coward, admit his failure, give up the pretense, with his head held high, as the fox suggested, not caring what the cool kids think any more. I still don't entirely see why it would mean he has to die.  But okay. Nice idea, very Christian, completely fine message for the movie.

Big departure from the poem though. Because the poem is about testing a lover, and that element really gets lost in this film.

To me, the most interesting thing about the poem is that unlike in the movie, Gawain actually _passes_ the chastity portion of his trials. Sure, it's a definition of chastity that involves a counter-intuitive (to me) amount of flirting and making out, but there's indeed a line Gawain never crosses with Lady Bertilac. More importantly, he honours the agreement by returning all the kisses he owes to the Lord - and not half-heartedly either ("long and deliciously" in the Tolkien translation). This time, he fully seems to grasp the spirit of the exercise, even if there are some minor flaws in execution. He does fail to disclose the gift of the girdle, but that's not out of malice or subterfuge ("for no artful wickedness, and for no wooing either") , but out of a fairly natural instinct for self-preservation, and the Green Knight, being so in touch with nature, can acknowledge that. He doesn't seem to feel too terribly betrayed at their final encounter. Gawain is not trying to come between him and his wife by keeping the girdle - he's just trying to improve his odds in the next trial.

For what it's worth, the Green Knight never really made himself vulnerable either - he had Morgan's spell to protect him, which he also didn't disclose when he issued his initial challenge. In a way, Gawain is just levelling the playing field. (In the poem Gawein gets to comment on it, when the Green Knight mocks him for flinching after the first feint - easy not to flinch, when you know you can just pick up your head afterwards). It's obviously still plenty brave to submit to the blow even with the girdle, because Gawain has never seen it in action and has to trust that it works (which is why film-Gawain in failure mode doesn't even do that, he just legs it). But he's still pretending to be braver than he his, and is suitably chastened when called out.

In the end, the poem seems to be fairly pro "fake it till you make it" however. The values of chivalry are portrayed as ultimately worthwhile even thought the knights don't entirely live up them. The world is a wild and scary place, and you won't always know the rules of the game, but if you go at it with the right attitude, people might give you some margin of error.

[lockefanfic]

Business Trip: Pt 33 - Assistant

“Is there something you’d like to share with us, Dahyun? I don’t think you should keep secrets from your boss. It’s not proper.”

You smile devilishly at Tzuyu’s mention of propriety, even as she sat half naked on her boss’ desk. She was toying with Dahyun now, knowing the assistant was completely in her thrall. Her fingers play with Dahyun’s delicate cheek, tracing a path down her soft jawline. Dahyun is fidgeting nervously, her body squirming as the younger girl delights in toying with her. Tzuyu was enjoying every second of it.

You are happy to watch the gorgeous, half naked young woman on your desk seduce an innocent, pretty young thing that looked only seconds away from surrendering to her.

“I… I… I….”

“What is it, Dahyun? You can tell us. We won’t tell anyone.”

“Ma’am, I mean… Miss Chou, I-.... I…”

“Please, call me Tzuyu. Now tell us, Dahyun. Let it all out…”

“Miss Ch- I mean… Tz--- Tzuyu. I… I…”

Tzuyu’s hand drifts to the Korean girls’ chin, bringing it close to her own before letting her own lips slightly graze hers in the softest of kisses.

“Tell us, Dahyun.”

“I… I like to watch.”

---

Chou Tzuyu acted like a spoiled little brat sometimes.

 It was odd, you thought, because she was a strong, confident businesswoman when she wanted to be. You’d seen her give powerful presentations, lead tough, no-bullshit meetings, and give her staff members crap when they didn’t perform like she wanted them to. Her intense motivation made her a rising star at JYP, the type that got shit done without caring much about what others thought of her. For most people in the office, she was demanding, intimidating, and perhaps even a little scary.

 Alone with you, she turned into something altogether different - not that you minded. The confident woman turned into a needy, spoiled girl; although you knew Chou Tzuyu well enough to know that beneath that thin veneer of faux-innocence was a woman completely in control of every aspect of her life, including the sinful parts of it. Knowing that you were the only one that she showed this side of her was a little bit of a turn on.

 “I was so worried about you,” she says softly as she lets your shaft slide out of her warm, wet mouth and plants soft kisses along the side of it, “when Jihyo told us all that the mission went sideways.”

 Another kiss, another lick of that small pink tongue on your hard cock. Her thin, delicate fingers wrap around the base of it, pumping it up and down slowly. She continues, her voice taking that faux-innocent tone she only took with you - a fact that aroused you to no end, knowing the woman who could deliver such powerful presentations and speeches was the same woman who had a certain pet name for you.

 “But I’m so glad you’re okay, daddy.”

 You reach down and stroke the golden strands of her light blonde hair back, enjoying the sight of the young woman on her knees between your spread legs as she continues to toy playfully with your shaft. Impending oral sex aside, she was utterly beautiful. You had spent a lot of time with a lot of beautiful women, but you still occasionally had to remind yourself not to stare at Chou Tzuyu when she was in the room.

 “I’m just fine, Tzuyu. But I’m a little tired. Think you can make me feel a little better?”

 A wicked gleam appears in her eye, the corners of her lips curling into a smile that might have been angelic were it not for the sinful thoughts that inspired it.

 “Of course, daddy. I’ll make you feel great.”

 Tzuyu takes you into her mouth again, and before long she becomes a softly bobbing ball of light brown hair, your shaft sliding smoothly in and out between her tightly pursed lips and hollowed cheeks. One hand reaches down, involuntarily, to grasp the side of her head, guiding her up and down, keeping her hair from interfering with the delightful task she was occupying herself with.

 It hadn’t even been an hour since you’d arrived back at the office after Tzuyu had picked you and Jeongyeon up from the cafe where you’d met with Momo and her team. Jeongyeon had understandably wanted some time to rest and recover from the previous day’s events, and so Tzuyu had dropped her off at the hotel. You had a meeting in the afternoon with Jihyo and Nayeon to discuss the data the latter had retrieved from SM, and so you decided you may as well head into the office to prepare.

 But that meeting was still a few hours away, and Tzuyu had wasted no time in ensuring that the wait would be a pleasurable one.

 The wetness of her saliva, the suction of those lips, tightly wrapped around your hardness, and the playful, swirling feel of her tongue as it wreaked playful havoc on your sensitive head - it was pleasure in the extreme. Tzuyu wasn’t the most skilled at oral sex, but she made up for it with an enthusiasm that none of the other girls could match.

 It was her beauty though - that was what differentiated her from the others. The other girls were cute, gorgeous, hot - some combination of both; but Tzuyu was beautiful. Mina came close, but whereas the Japanese girl possessed the distant, unattainable beauty of a princess, Tzuyu possessed more of an everyday beauty, the kind that you would see in passing at a coffee shop and would dominate your thoughts for the rest of the day.

 And to see a girl of that calibre on her knees now, pleasuring you with her mouth, knowing that sex would come soon after - it was a wicked delight. She was so young, barely out of her teens; your first few times with her you’d felt a twinge of guilt, a worry that you were taking advantage of her, but those worries quickly fled when you realized that this was a woman who was always in control, even when her pretend-neediness and suggestive pet name for you suggested otherwise.

 Tzuyu takes a break from sucking to dip her head beneath your cock, her tongue darting out and lathering your balls, one at a time, with her saliva. All the while her hand pumps up and down your shaft, fully in control of your body, fully aware of every sharp spike of pleasure she was sending into your system. She takes one of your balls into your mouth, swirling her tongue around the sensitive sack, before letting it pop out of her mouth and kissing a trail back to the tip of your shaft, and resuming her blowjob.

 All you can do is lie there, helplessly, letting the young woman do as she wished with you. Your hand continues to stroke her hair, enjoying every second.

 Tzuyu lets your cock slide out of her mouth, her cheeks hollowing with suction as she does so, the feel of those lips sending delicious spikes of pleasure up your spine. When she reaches the tip of your shaft she places a soft, almost chaste kiss on the end of it. She looks up at you, those large, round eyes, so innocent and young, almost angelic - so completely at odds with the act she was about to perform.

 You barely notice the corners of her mouth curl into a devilish smile; but then a second later you have no time to think, let alone breathe, as Tzuyu takes you fully into her mouth again. But this time you feel the tip of your cock hit the back of her throat, and go slightly further, until she takes you fully inside her, her nose brushing up against the base of your shaft.

 You groan out loud in pleasure as the young Taiwanese girl deepthroats you, your cock slowly, carefully sliding in and out of her willing mouth. Her hands grasp your thighs tightly, her eyes watering as she fights her own gag reflex for as long as she can in an attempt to give you as much pleasure as she could. To call it pleasure was a bit of an understatement - the feel of her wet, tight throat around your cock was sublime, and unlike anything she’d ever done for you.

 For a few seconds that pass like hours, Tzuyu slowly bobs her head up and down, allowing the tip of your cock into her throat again and again. The pleasure is dizzying, the feel of her tight cavern driving you insane. 

 “Fuck, Tzuyu,” you manage to say, the first full words you’d said in awhile, the only ones you can actually form from your pleasure-addled mind. Tzuyu lets your saliva-drenched cock pop out of her mouth.

 “Does this feel good, daddy? Do you feel better now?”

 “Hell yes, Tzuyu.”

 “Good,” she says, smiling. Another soft kiss on your cock, as though she were kissing a pet. 

 “Although.. I’m getting a little hungry.”

 The smile that appears on her lips would have been pleasant were it not for the lusty, sinful look on the rest of her features - and the fact that she was slowly pumping your cock, slick with her saliva, with her left hand. The girl licks her lips. 

 “I can help you with that too, daddy.”

 Tzuyu rises from between your legs - she was tall, the tallest of the women you’d regularly slept with, only Jeongyeon coming close to her in height. Hers was a body that was built for earthly pleasures, with her slim, thin torso and wide, full hips. It was also a body that was annoyingly still fully clothed, in a tight white long-sleeved blouse and a blue miniskirt. The high waist of the skirt only accentuated her tiny waist and full flare of her hips, while its alluring cut revealed plenty of her full, creamy thighs. It was a skirt that begged to be pulled up, or held on to while you fucked. Tzuyu watches as you drink in the curves of her body, a smug smirk on her face.

 “Do you want to unwrap your meal, or should I?”

 She plays idly with a strand of her golden hair, playing the innocent card again - and you were happy to let her.

 “Strip for me, Tzuyu,” you say, “take it all off. But… keep that skirt on.”

 Tzuyu smiles devilishly, her facade of innocence cracking slightly as lust begins to overtake her. She bites her lip as her fingers work the unseen clasp of her blouse and she pulls the front flap of it apart, revealing the soft, creamy perfect skin of her chest and the simple white bra she was wearing underneath.

 She lets the blouse fall to the floor, the white fabric falling lazily, almost dreamily to the ground. The more of her perfect, caramel skin is revealed to you, the more you feel the hunger stir in your loins - and the more effort it takes not to reach up and strip her naked yourself.

 The girl’s fingers reach behind her, undoing the clasp of her bra, and soon it too joins her blouse on the floor. Her breasts are small and humble, but perfectly shaped and proportioned to her tall, lithe form, her delicious looking nipples taut and firm with arousal. She gives you only a moment to admire the curves of her chest before turning and bending deeply, her fingers reaching below the hem of her skirt to pull down her skimpy, lacy white panties from her body.

 It was yet another moment you’d wished you had the power to freeze time. It was perfect - the sight of her bending over, her full, round ass sticking up in the air, those creamy, caramel thighs, the dangling mounds of her breasts hanging in the air like ripe fruits. Tzuyu lets the tiny white slip of fabric fall from her fingers as she steps out of her panties and they join her bra and blouse on the floor.

 You expect her to turn to face you, but she doesn’t; instead, she steps daintily over to your desk, the soft clack of her heels the only sound in the room. She softly closes your laptop, placing it to one side, and carefully stacks and places the loose papers on your desk into the desk organizer. Every movement was graceful and precise, as though she weren’t standing topless in her boss’ office, about to let him have his way with her. Every moment watching the half naked young woman rearrange your desk was painful - your cock twitched in anticipation, aching for the pleasure that was surely soon to come.

 When she has had enough of torturing you, Chou Tzuyu turns around to face you once more. Reaching down, she pulls up the blue miniskirt to her hips and hops onto your desk, her soft little breasts bouncing alluringly as she does so. Leaning back, she spreads her legs, revealing the glistening folds of wet flesh between her thighs. She plants her feet flat on the surface of your desk, her long limbs spread widely atop it.

 “Come eat me, daddy.”

 You didn’t need to be told twice. Your chair is thankfully on wheels, and you slide closer towards Chou Tzuyu’s body as she waits atop your desk. Your hands immediately reach for those soft, luscious thighs, enjoying their fullness and curvature. You plant soft kisses on her inner thigh, taking as much time as you could, but knowing that you could only wait so long before you dove in and devoured the wet, glistening treat mere inches away from your face.

 You want to tease her the same way she teased you, want to build up the anticipation in her tight, young little body, but you weren’t as disciplined as she was, couldn’t hold yourself back as well as she could. And so your tongue draws ever closer and closer to the needy lips of her pussy, kissing a soft trail on perfect, warm caramel skin towards that wonderful prize…

 “Sir, sorry to interrupt, but I have some forms for you to sign---”

 Both Tzuyu and you freeze at the sudden interruption, and you look up from between Tzuyu’s spread thighs to find Kim Dahyun in the doorway of your office, a look of utter shock on her pale face as she takes in the sight before her.

 “I- I- Oh my god, I’m sorry, sir, I-”

 Tzuyu covers her naked chest with her arms, and you quickly leave that wonderful space between her legs as she closes them - although in that split second you notice that the look of shock you were expecting to find on the Taiwanese girl’s face isn’t there. Instead there is a look of curiosity, as though she were contemplating something in her head as Dahyun continues to apologize profusely.

 You notice also that Dahyun, despite her shock and repeated apologies, hasn’t moved from the doorway.

 “It’s okay, Dahyun,” you stammer, not quite sure what to make of the situation. Dahyun had only been your assistant for a few weeks, and you weren’t sure what the young girl would make of walking into her boss’ office to find his face buried in the crotch of one of his colleagues. 

 “I… I’m sorry, sir… I’ll just… um, go, and… you can sign these… later… when you’re done with… Miss Chou… sorry, I-”

 “Miss Kim,” Tzuyu says abruptly, shaking the stammering young girl into her senses.

 “Y-... Yes, Miss Chou?”

 Tzuyu has dropped her arms from her breasts, revealing herself to the confused, flustered Korean girl. She straightens up on the desk, speaking firmly and confidently now, a haughty air around her tone as she speaks to Dahyun as though she weren’t topless, sitting on her boss’ desk with her legs spread.

 “Your boss still needs to sign those forms. Leave them here, on his desk.”

 Dahyun looked utterly frazzled by what was happening, but sure enough she follows Tzuyu’s orders, and starts taking shaky, unsure steps towards your desk. Her cheeks are bright red against her pale skin as she places the forms in the to-do pile on your desk.

 “Th… There you go, sir.”

 “Thank you, Dahyun,” you answer, painfully aware that like Tzuyu you were also sitting there exposed, your still hard shaft still glistening with Tzuyu’s saliva. You couldn’t help but notice the quick glance Dahyun takes towards your cock, and the deepening hue of red that appears on those snow white cheeks.

 “Dahyun,” Tzuyu says, “you are looking quite… flushed. Are you okay?”

 Dahyun turns towards Tzuyu, still looking frazzled.

 “Ye-... Yes, ma’am. I’m fine.”

 Tzuyu edges closer to Dahyun on the desk, bringing up a hand to the Korean girl’s cheek, caressing her perfect vanilla skin softly.

 “Is there something you’d like to share with us, Dahyun? I don’t think you should keep secrets from your boss. It’s not proper.”

 You smile devilishly at Tzuyu’s mention of propriety, even as she sat half naked on her boss’ desk. She was toying with Dahyun now, knowing the assistant was completely in her thrall. Her fingers play with Dahyun’s delicate cheek, tracing a path down her soft jawline. Dahyun is fidgeting nervously, her body squirming as the younger girl delights in toying with her. Tzuyu was enjoying every second of it.

 You are happy to watch the gorgeous, half naked young woman on your desk seduce an innocent, pretty young thing that looked only seconds away from surrendering to her.

 “I… I… I….”

 “What is it, Dahyun? You can tell us. We won’t tell anyone.”

 “Ma’am, I mean… Miss Chou, I-.... I…”

 “Please, call me Tzuyu. Now tell us, Dahyun. Let it all out…”

 “Miss Ch- I mean… Tz--- Tzuyu. I… I…”

 Tzuyu’s hand drifts to the Korean girls’ chin, bringing it close to her own before letting her own lips slightly graze hers in the softest of kisses.

 “Tell us, Dahyun.”

 “I… I like to watch.”

 You don’t think you’d ever seen Tzuyu smile that intensely; it was a smile of devilish surprise, as though something wonderful had just fallen into her lap. And it excited you beyond measure.

 “Good,” Tzuyu says softly, “then why don’t you take a seat and observe as I finish this meeting with your boss.”

 “Y… Yes, Tzuyu,” Dahyun answers, slowly stumbling over to one of the chairs facing your desk.

 “Not there,” Tzuyu says, “bring that chair over here. You want to make sure you have a good view, don’t you, Dahyun?”

 “Y… yes, Tz- Tzuyu,” is the shaky reply. 

 “Now perhaps your boss can continue from where he left off,” Tzuyu says, her tone sly and lusty once more. The young woman spreads her legs again, and you couldn’t help but notice her wet flesh glistening even more; she really got off on toying with Dahyun, and now that the Korean girl was watching, she became even more eager for you to resume.

 “Come eat me, daddy. No teasing. I can’t wait anymore. I want it now.”

 You are just as eager as Tzuyu, and before you know it you are diving in literally head first, sliding your chair between the Taiwanese girl’s spread legs and lowering your head to her crotch, your tongue eagerly darting out to the base of her lips before dragging your tongue upward, relishing in the feel of her juices collecting on the tip of your tongue. 

 Tzuyu lets an airy sound of pleasure escape her lips at the feel of your tongue playing with her moist folds, and she brings a hand to the back of your head as you lower it and give her pussy another swipe. With each lick the hand tightens its grip, until her fingernails have begun to dig into your scalp.

 “Oh, yes, daddy!” Tzuyu exclaims, “Yes… that feels so good.”

 You forget for a moment that the two of you weren’t alone in the room, forget that your executive assistant was mere feet away. You tended to forget a lot of things when you were buried between a girl’s thighs with her wet pussy on your tongue.

 Tzuyu lets a string of soft moans escape her lips, each lick and swipe of her pussy drawing another note of pleasure from her throat. You couldn’t see it, but she’d begun to watch Dahyun intently as you did your work between her legs.

 “It… it feels so good, Dahyun!”

 There is no immediate reply, although you could’ve sworn you heard a soft sigh from Dahyun’s direction.

 “Re-... really, Tzuyu? How does.. How does it feel?”

 “It feels- oh! Feels so good. Mmm!”

 You interrupt Tzuyu by slipping two fingers slowly into her dripping opening, playing merry havoc with her body as she squirms and writhes atop your desk, your mouth and tongue and fingers toying with her, forcing wonderful wordless sounds of lust to escape from an open mouth.

 You capture her clit between your lips, and begin to swipe it with long broad licks of the tip of your tongue, your pace consistent. Meanwhile inside her your fingers go from slowly pumping in and out of her soft, slick flesh, to penetrating deep inside her and curling upward towards that spot at the front of her walls.

 “Oh, fuck!” Tzuyu exclaims, and you feel her reach for something on your desk with her free hand as her other clamps down on the back of your head.

 Satisfied that you’d found a pace and place that she approved of, you continue on for long, beautiful minutes, eating out the perfect young woman’s juicy, dripping pussy, eagerly lapping up all of her juices even as you feasted on her wanton flesh.

 “Oh god.. He’s… he’s eating me so well, Dahyun!” Tzuyu exclaims, “I…. I think I might cum soon! Ohh! Fuck, Dahyun, he feels so good… oh god… oh god!”

 Dahyun moans - yes, you were sure of it. You smile wickedly, as best you could, given your preoccupation with the wonderful folds of hot, wet flesh between your lips and tongue. Your fingers, slick and drenched with her hot juices, tease Tzuyu’s pussy mercilessly as you continue to work on her squirming body.

 “Oh, oh god! Daddy… I… daddy, I’m cumming!”

 Tzuyu’s world explodes in pleasure, her body becoming a squirming pile of jelly atop your desk as she orgasms, your tongue and fingers quickly pushing her to the edge of pleasure and sending her eagerly over it. Her thighs close around your face, surrounding you in warm, soft skin - her fingers dig almost painfully into the back of her scalp and she lingers there, almost frozen, for a few beautiful moments as her orgasm reaches its peak.

 The aftershocks are just as beautiful to behold as she slowly loosens her grip on your face, and you are finally able to come up for air and watch as Tzuyu does her best to compose herself after her strong orgasm, her body still shivering and quivering.

 You lick her delicious juices from your lips, relishing her taste on your tongue, and you turn to Dahyun, eager to see what she was doing.

 The Korean girl happened to be wearing a short black skirt; and like Tzuyu, it too was bunched up around her waist, her right hand deep between her thighs, her middle and ring fingers fiercely rubbing circular patterns around her own clit. The girl’s face, usually so pale, was flushed pink, her eyes filled with lust as she makes eye contact with you, not once stopping or slowing down as she played with herself.

 “Th… that was amazing, sir.”

 To see Dahyun in such a state was utterly arousing, to say the least - she was usually clumsy and airheaded around the office but to see her here, getting off on watching you eat out another woman; it was a gorgeous sight to behold.

 “Don’t just leave me here, daddy,” Tzuyu says, taking your attention again, “Don’t forget about me.”

 “I won’t,” you answer, standing now between Tzuyu’s still spread legs, “It’s my turn now.”

 “Yes, daddy! Fuck me now, please? Give me your cock. Let her watch while you fuck me and use me and cum in me.”

 You smile devilishly as you take your cock in one hand and place it on Tzuyu’s wanton pussy, dragging the head up and down her moist, dripping lips, gathering her clear juices on the tip. You turn your head to Dahyun to find her eyes glued intently on your cock.

 “Let’s give her a show, shall we?”

 Grasping Tzuyu’s legs, you raise them so that her calves on your shoulders, giving Dahyun a perfect, unobstructed view of your cock pressed against the Taiwanese girl’s spread pussy lips. Reaching down and placing your tip at her opening, you slowly push inside her.

 Entering Tzuyu elicits a deep, lustful moan from her - but also from Dahyun, who is watching intently as inch after inch of you slides into Tzuyu’s slick, hot pussy.

 “T… tell me how he f- feels, Tzuyu!”

 “Fuck……” Tzuyu gasps, unable to answer Dahyun immediately as you fill her completely, your hips now touching her soaked, hot crotch as you bottom out inside her. The young woman’s face is a mask of full pleasure now, one of pure lust, her eyes shut momentarily as she savors the feeling of being filled for the first time.

 “He’s so big, Dahyun,” Tzuyu hisses, not taking her eyes from yours, “he’s so big and thick and he’s stretching me out… oh!”

 You cut short Tzuyu’s descriptions as you begin to move, slowly drawing your cock out from Tzuyu’s tightly grasping pussy for the first time, savoring the feel of her lips wrapped tightly around your hard shaft as though not wanting to let it go. You hear Dahyun gasp at the sight of it drenched in slick, thick pussy juices, and you hear her chair squeak as she squirms on it.

 You drive back into Tzuyu, and before long you settle into a slow but steady rhythm, taking your time, letting Dahyun have a long glimpse of your cock as it appears from within Tzuyu’s tight, glistening pussy, before thrusting once more into the girl’s wanton body.

 Tzuyu is reduced to a quivering, moaning mess now as you fuck her, her hands gripping the edge of the desk with white knuckle grips as she relishes every thrust you make into her body. Words spill freely from her lips, punctuated here and there by sultry, lusty moans.

 “Oh, fuck, daddy! Fuck me just like that… fuck me slow… make me.. feel… every thrust.. Ohh! He’s so big, Dahyun… he feels so good inside me!”

 You finally tear your gaze from Tzuyu’s writhing body to watch Dahyun as she continues to work her hand between her pale, milky legs. Her left hand is clutching her right breast now, and you watch eagerly as she impatiently pulls the hem of her shirt from her skirt and slips her left hand underneath it so she can fondle her breast directly.

 “Fuck her… fu-fuck her hard-harder, sir!”

 You grin at the shattering of the last of Dahyun’s composure, glad to watch the girl finally give into her desires as she watches the erotic scene play out in front of her. You grasp Tzuyu’s thighs and drive yourself deeper and deeper into the Taiwanese girl, using her long limbs as leverage to make each thrust harder than the last. For long minutes you fuck her like that, her long, slim body rocking back and forth helplessly on the desk, her round breasts bouncing wantonly with each impact of your hips into her young body. You reach down and use her skirt as a handle, just like you thought of earlier, pulling on the blue fabric with each thrust into its owner’s body.

 “Oh, fuck, daddy! Yes! Fuck me harder… as hard as you want! Ohhh!! Mmmmm!”

 Tzuyu is happy to let you have your way with her body. You knew from all the time you’d spent with her that she was more than comfortable with rough sex, and so you let your inhibitions loose and begin to truly fuck her the way she wanted, the way she deserved, the way you needed to.

 You let her legs fall from her shoulders and spread her thighs with a palm on each one before pushing her left leg downward and off the desk, forcing her onto her side so that she is facing Dahyun. Keeping her right leg still in the air, you continue to fuck her, this time from the side. Dahyun has the perfect view of your cock as it slides in and out of Tzuyu’s pussy.

 The new position drives Tzuyu insane, if your first few thrusts into her wet, tight pussy are any indication. Her moans and gasps continue, this time in a higher pitch as you drive ever deeper and faster into her pussy; almost as loud are the wet, slick sounds of her juices and the wet flesh around your cock as you continue to fuck the mewling, moaning girl.

 “Oh god, Dahyun… he’s… he’s so big inside me. He’s fucking me… fucking me so good!”

 “How… how does your p-pussy f-feel, Tzuyu?”

 “It feels… oh! So good… so full of his cock. So wet.. I’m so wet for him!”

 “You… you look so t-tight, Tzuyu. You’re so wet! I can… I can see his cock… coming in and out of you.”

 “Oh, oh god… yes, fuck me like this, daddy! Fuck me! Mmmm, I’m gonna cum soon!”

 It was all quickly becoming too much to handle - Tzuyu’s blowjob, Dahyun’s watching while you ate Tzuyu and while you fucked her - and you felt your own peak coming soon as well.

 “Fuck, Tzuyu, I’m gonna cum soon too.”

 “Don’t stop, daddy… please don’t stop fucking me… oh! Fuck me! Mmmm, I’m getting close!”

 “I… I’m gonna… I’m cumming!” you hear - not from Tzuyu, but from Dahyun. The pale girl is a squirming mess on her chair, her body wracked with spasms as she orgasms. You tear your gaze from Tzuyu to watch as Dahyun quivers and shakes in her chair, her hand working busily between her thighs as the rest of her body straightens involuntarily in pleasure.

 “Ohh.. oh, I’m cumming, daddy!” Tzuyu exclaims, greedily taking your attention back once again. Her pussy pulsates and squeezes you tightly, signalling her impending orgasm and driving you closer to yours.

 “Where-”

 “Inside me, daddy! Inside me, please! Fill me… fill me with your cum!”

 Tzuyu cums first, but the tightening of her spasming pussy around your shaft quickly drives you to orgasm as well, and you bury yourself as deep as you can within her hot, slick pussy before you erupt, your cock sending stream after thick stream of hot semen into her body. Her body tightens around you, squeezing your cock tightly as though milking every drop.

 The feeling is sublime, the three of you orgasming within seconds of each other, each of you reduced to piles of jelly held up by weak bones. You let yourself savor every second of it, the feel of Tzuyu’s body wrapped around you, the feel of her wet pussy being filled with cum, the sound of her and Dahyun’s moans filling your ears. It was heavenly.

 You suddenly find it difficult to breathe, and you soon find yourself immensely exhausted. With the last reserves of your strength you give Tzuyu’s spent body a few more weak thrusts, your cock pushing your hot cum as deep as you could into her.

 You stand there, exhausted, holding onto Tzuyu’s outstretched leg like some sort of support. Soon you finally slip out of her body with a slick pop, and you slump back into your desk chair. Tzuyu turns onto her back, too exhausted to do anything further - and you delight in the sight of white appearing between the splayed lips of her newly fucked pussy, before the thick semen begins to flow from her body onto her flushed thighs and your desk.

 “Can I… can I clean up your mess, sir? It’s… it’s part of my job.”

 The question strikes you by surprise - Dahyun, evidently having recovered from the strong orgasm you’d just shared, is sitting up in her chair, her face eager.

 “Of course, Dahyun,” you answer, “Come do your job.”

 The pale girl eagerly rises from her chair and kneels in front of Tzuyu’s still spread legs. She doesn’t waste any time, diving in and licking the thick white cum that is appearing from the Taiwanese girl’s pussy like it was some treat. Tzuyu, still weak from her own orgasm, hums softly in pleasure at the feeling of the Korean girl’s tongue on her still sensitive lips.

 Dahyun doesn’t devote all her time to Tzuyu - soon she leaves the girl’s moist flesh to kneel between your own legs, her pink tongue darting out and collecting the juices on your cock, both the white thickness of your cum and the slickness of Tzuyu’s juices. Your cock was softening, but quickly finds itself stirring back to hardness at Dahyun’s touch. You reach down and stroke the pale girl’s blonde hair as she eagerly cleans up your shaft with her tongue.

 “It looks like we have a new playmate, daddy,” Tzuyu says, rising up to her elbows. Dahyun is thankful for Tzuyu’s attention, and she quickly returns to between the Taiwanese girl’s still-spread legs.

 “Next.. next time, I want to do...more than watch, sir,” Dahyun says over her shoulder, lust in her eyes, before she returns to her job of licking your semen as it dripped from Tzuyu’s pussy.

 ---

 Sana is the first to enter the boardroom, and she quickly comes over and gives you a tight hug despite your seated position.

 “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she says brightly, and you squeeze her forearms in appreciation before she takes her seat. 

 Tzuyu and Dahyun enter next, the former giving you a sly smile while the latter blushes a fierce red before they both take their seats. Seolhyun soon enters, and she comes over and squeezes the back of your hand and offers you a warm, friendly smile. Jeongyeon is last, and she manages to give you a soft smile before she too prepares for the meeting. Something stirs in your heart at her smile, but you weren’t quite sure what to make of it. The bandage on her cheek reminds you of what she did for you the day before.

 After a few minutes Jihyo and Nayeon arrive. Jihyo offers you a polite nod and smile before going to the front of the room to set up her presentation. Nayeon holds your gaze for only a moment before she turns away, although you couldn’t quite read the expression she had in her soft features. Was it guilt, at running away and leaving you and Jeongyeon there?

 You had no more time to wonder as Jihyo calls the room to attention and begins her presentation.

 “Good afternoon, all. As I’m sure you’re aware, our mission yesterday was deemed an operational success, even if the extract didn’t exactly go as planned,” Jihyo begins with a nod towards you and Jeongyeon, “but all is well that ends well. We’ve received significant information from our operative’s infiltration that we feel can change the game with regards to our pursuit of SM, Red Velvet, and Irene. Nayeon?”

 Nayeon stands and walks to the front of the room. The large LCD screen that dominates the front of the room changes to a series of documents and pictures.

 “We’ve combed through the data we recovered yesterday, and there are three main points that we feel are the key takeaways. One: there is enough evidence here to indict Irene, her Red Velvet group, and SM in crimes such as bribery, extortion, blackmail, and several other charges.”

 There is a murmur in the room as Nayeon cycles through several video clips and transcripts of phone conversations. In each, Irene, Wendy, or Joy can be clearly seen or are identified in a number of compromising situations. The evidence was hard to dispute. Smiles appear on the lips of several of the girls around the room, realizing that you finally had the evidence needed to take down your most hated enemy.

 “Two:” Nayeon continues, “there is evidence here that implicates SM was involved in the downfall of YG. Irene herself spearheaded the effort. It’s likely that she alone decided upon and then enacted their takedown through a series of coordinated attacks including bribery, blackmail, and extortion of key YG personnel.”

 “YG?” Tzuyu asks, “Who’s that?”

 “They were a pretty big company in the industry, but rumor had it they were into some shady shit,” Seolhyun answers,  “They were abusing their employees, or so the rumors say. Either way, why would Irene take them down, and what does that have to do with us?”

 “Let me finish and you’ll find out,” Nayeon answers, receiving a glare from Seolhyun in return. Nayeon presses a button on her remote, and on the screen are a series of what looked like black and white surveillance photos. In each of them, Irene is dealing with shady figures.

 “Three:” she begins after a pause, “...well, I’ll just let you watch it.”

 Her last slide is what looked like a surveillance camera in a dimly lit underground parking lot. For a few seconds nothing happens, but eventually one of the doors on a nearby wall bursts open. Irene is clearly seen rushing out, and behind her are four girls you didn’t recognise. A van pulls up next to them, and out hop Wendy and Joy, who quickly help the four girls inside before getting inside themselves. Irene steps into the van, but keeps the sliding door open as she watches the open door, evidently waiting for something.

 Two more girls emerge from the door in a rush - Seulgi and Yeri. They shout something at Irene. Seulgi and Yeri begin to run into the van themselves, but a large man dressed in black emerges from the door and tackles Yeri to the ground. Seulgi sees this and moves to help her fallen friend, but more guards emerge from the door and subdue her as well. She drops one with a hard right cross and breaks the nose of a second with an open left palm to his face, but the third one blocks her follow up punch and sweeps her legs from under her with a kick. She lands with a hard thud before more guards pile on top of her, holding her down.

 More guards appear and dash towards Irene’s van. Irene herself is frozen in the open sliding door of the van. Seulgi and Yeri wrestle in vain against the large security guards holding them down, Seulgi clearly shouting something at Irene, face twisted in anger and pain.

 But Red Velvet’s leader shuts the van’s sliding door, and the van speeds away, leaving Seulgi and Yeri behind as the video cuts to black.

[bestworstcase]

replies on this post ( @ngocthach4020​, numbering mine ):

Counterarguments:

1 - While I do agree that Zhan Tiri does a good job making it seem like she does care about Cassandra, the fact that Cassandra trusted a total stranger for over a year in itself makes her intelligence dubious at best. Not to mention Cassandra never asks the total stranger who mysteriously knows this much about her for her NAME during all that time, nor tries to find out anything else about her.

2 - Rapunzel is the heir to the throne. Of course she’s going to get more recognition than Cassandra. Cassandra herself was given multiple guard assignments throughout Season 1, cheered on by the people of Corona even when she came second place to Rapunzel at the Challenge of the Brave, and trusted with leading the assault against Varian in the season finale. This isn’t even getting into how she has plenty of opportunities at Ingvarr or Vardaros.

3 - The people of Vardaros focused on Rapunzel despite preferring Cassandra over her, yes, but that doesn’t change how they treated Rapunzel like dirt and Cassandra seemed to LIKE that.

4 - In the song I’d Give Anything, Rapunzel does acknowledge she wronged Cassandra.

5 - Just because Cassandra has legitimate grievances, it doesn’t excuse her trying to murder people who never did anything bad to her, which she does several times throughout Season 3.

firstly: i mean this in the kindest way possible but none of these are actually counter-arguments to the point i was making, which is that cassandra has very good reasons for her decision to trust zhan tiri and be emotionally vulnerable with her in the house of yesterday’s tomorrow. #2 is the only one relevant to the subject at hand, #1, #4, and #5 all concern things that happen after the incident being discussed and are thus irrelevant, and for #3 it’s unclear to me what point you think you’re countering and also, i have no idea what you’re talking about. 

but as with anything i have plenty of thoughts

#1: i have two thoughts about this one

the first is that this is, first and foremost, a writing issue. for whatever reason, the writing team was not interested in digging into cassandra’s character arc in s3, and they also were not interested in developing zhan tiri as a character, and they really were not interested in elaborating on the cass + zhan tiri friendship whatsoever. the end result of this lack of interest is that all of this character development is gestured at or loosely implied, and the vast majority of their relationship occurs off screen. we are shown their first meeting in relative detail, given a handful of brief glimpses that mostly comprise zhan tiri saying a line or two while cassandra listens and glares, and then given the end result of cass doing whatever zhan tiri tells her to do until a narratively convenient plot device is inserted to make her stop. the character development in this arc is extremely poor. no one is arguing that it isn’t. 

however my second thought is that, as a consequence, “cass travels with this person for almost a year without ever asking her name or trying to find out anything about her” is not, in fact, canon. that’s a matter of interpretation. (eg: i spent the entirety of the first half of the season assuming that of course cassandra knew who zhan tiri was, my reaction to CR in this regard boiled down to “well if cass didn’t already know that was zhan tiri she certainly does NOW,” RTTS did nothing to change my mind, and i was legitimately taken aback when OAH confirmed that cass just didn’t know. all of this was a plausible interpretation because so little of the cass + ziti relationship actually develops on screen. there is SO MUCH information missing.)

the point being: the only canonical information we have regarding zhan tiri’s identity and cassandra’s knowledge thereof is that cassandra doesn’t learn zhan tiri’s true identity until OAH. this does not preclude cassandra pressing the issue and zhan tiri lying to her by telling her a fake name, or feigning ignorance (a la “i’ve been trapped in that house for as long as i can remember and i have no idea where i came from or who i was before then,” which is absolutely a plausible cover story given the kind of things tromus pulled off whilst team corona was trapped in the HOYT and that cass herself has very recent experience with magical memory loss), or masquerading as an aspect of the moonstone itself (which is at least plausible enough that a good chunk of the fandom theorized that that’s who she was in the early half of the season). 

there is, frankly, no evidence to support interpreting cassandra’s “who are you?” as “i’ve literally never asked this question before” instead of “you told me things about yourself that i believed but it’s not adding up anymore so i’m confronting you on your lies” or vice versa, because... we just don’t know. i personally favor the latter interpretation over the former, because it makes more sense to me, but the text is unclear.

all of which is to say: the post was about why cassandra trusts zhan tiri initially, a questions which - as i said in the original post - is answered very clearly on screen. there is not enough canonical information about the development of their relationship afterwards to do anything more than speculative analysis, ie headcanon, regarding how zhan tiri cultivated that trust. for what it’s worth my personal assumption is that zhan tiri continued to act as she does in RR, fostering the emotional connection between herself and cassandra, and that shortly after the stinger in who’s afraid of the big bad wolf (ie their second proper meeting) she gave cass some explanation of who she was and what she wanted. i also make the general assumption that they shared a lot of conversations during the long walk back to corona because it is ludicrous to imagine otherwise. 

#2: cassandra is a commoner who was indoctrinated from birth with the cultural belief that the lives of the royal family are more important and have more inherent worth than her own. this only intensified once rapunzel returned to corona. cassandra exists in a system that chews her up and spits her out without so much as a thank you, and rapunzel is the center around which that system orbits. “rapunzel is the heir to the throne so of course she gets more recognition than cassandra, her servant” isn’t, in fact, a counterargument. that is exactly the problem. the world cass is in is inherently devalues her personhood. even her own father repeatedly prioritizes his duty to the monarchy over the wellbeing of his daughter.

in s1, cass is given guard duties which she is expected to fit around her already extremely busy schedule as a maid and lady-in-waiting to the princess, all without ever being made an actual member of the royal guard. she is given, in other words, all of the work and responsibility without any of the recognition, salary, benefits, or job security afforded to actual guards, and she is expected to do it during her scant time off. and she does it all with the constant unspoken threat of being sent to a convent against her will if she screws up looming over her head. that’s not... privilege or an opportunity, that’s flat out exploitation. 

even in SOTS, she is only put in command of the assault on old corona because most of the higher officers of the guard are out of commission, including the captain. and this happens mere hours after her father forcibly sends her to a convent, which really underscores what little autonomy cassandra has in her life and how capricious and arbitrary any “opportunities” that come her way in corona are. 

yes, she is better accepted in vardaros and the queen of ingvarr did at one point extend an invitation for her to join the battalion in ingvarr, but—again, that’s not really a counterargument. “cassandra would have to leave her home and move to a foreign kingdom in order to be treated with respect and live as her authentic self” is an enormous indictment of corona itself. 

#3: the vardarans are less than receptive to rapunzel attempting to force her sunny demeanor onto them and react with hostile indifference when she persists even after being told—by multiple people including vex, quaid, cassandra, and iirc eugene—that her behavior was not wanted or welcome. they make their opinions known without making any attempt to soften the blow, but—with the one exception of “ya clod” lady—none of them harass or bully her. i’m not sure where you’re getting “they treat her like dirt” from. they treat her like people who are annoyed with having someone else’s culture jammed down their throats by some foreign princess, which,

cass, by the same token, enjoys being surrounded by people she “clicks” with and with whom she can just relax and be herself, and she repeatedly cautions rapunzel against trying to make the vardarans act, think, and feel like coronans... in other words, she advises rapunzel to be culturally sensitive. and she’s right to do so. cass doesn’t start gloating about being better liked until after rapunzel lashes out at her and makes a huge deal out of cass’s events being different / more in tune with vardaran culture than her own. 

#4: things rapunzel does a full year after cass meets zhan tiri in the shell house are not relevant to the question of why cass trusts zhan tiri in the shell house and also lol no... she doesn’t? these are the lyrics of i’d give anything: 

[RAPUNZEL] I know we've grown apart It breaks my heart in two I miss your company The closeness we once knew

I won't pretend to know Just what you're going through But I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything with you So if you find that you're in darkness or despair Though you won't turn to me Please know I'll be right there Name any sacrifice I'll pay the price that's due 'Cause I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything we knew Yes, I'd give anything For you

i don’t... know how to read an expression of apology or even just acknowledgement of wrongdoing into this song because it... isn’t there. this is the exact same sentiment rapunzel spends the entirety of s3 expressing, which is that she misses her friendship with cass and would do anything to get it back and she doesn’t understand why cassandra is so upset. and frankly it really. does not reflect well on rapunzel as a character because cassandra explains her grievances very clearly at the beginning of the season: “my whole life, i’ve been cast aside for you. no more,” followed by, you know, the entirety of crossing the line.

like even just... compare rapunzel’s lines at the top of crossing the line:

[RAPUNZEL] This has to stop now Whatever it is that you're going through We'll fix it together, me and you Just like we've always done

to her lines in i’d give anything: 

I won't pretend to know Just what you're going through

there has been zero growth. zero recognition of the fact that cassandra has, by the time of i’d give anything, told rapunzel what she’s going through at least three times. (she laid everything out for rapunzel in the dark fortress after taking the moonstone; in gothel’s mirror room in TOTS, cassandra expressed her anguish over gothel’s abandonment and her feelings of inferiority; in OAH, cass used feldspar’s play to fumblingly express her difficulty sharing her feelings with rapunzel; and if you want to count the BVA rock telepathy and cassandra furiously screaming “i don’t follow your orders anymore!” in CR, that brings us to a total of five times that cassandra shares at least part of what she’s “going through” with rapunzel only for it to, apparently, go in one ear and out the other because by plus est raps is still like “what could POSSIBLY be GOING ON with cass.”)

the closest rapunzel ever comes to expressing her own wrongdoing is the mealy-mouthed “we both did things wrong” sentiment in OAH (“maybe you’re right and it is your fault, rapunzel... partially...”), which she then undermines by going essentially “but if you had just told me how you felt then none of this would have happened” (ignoring that cass... did... tell her how she felt... repeatedly... in s2...) and rapunzel acknowledging that it was probably annoying to deal with a sunny “flower child” when she was fresh out of the tower (which is true, but entirely glosses over her treatment of cass in s2). in the former instance it’s unclear what, if anything, rapunzel truly thinks she did wrong (certainly “not listening” isn’t it), and in the latter case she is apologizing for being ~too free-spirited~ in the first couple weeks after the tower which... wasn’t even the problem back then and certainly wasn’t the core problem in s2. and by her own admission in i’d give anything rapunzel still doesn’t even understand why cassandra was upset in the first place, let alone how she may have contributed to it. 

like the utter dearth of development between cass and zhan tiri, this is ultimately a writing problem that reflects poorly on the character, rather than a character problem per se. for whatever reason, the writing team didn’t want to examine the legitimacy of cassandra’s actual grievances—which by extension meant that they couldn’t write rapunzel as having any awareness of those grievances, so the end result is cass obsessing over gothel and rapunzel spending the entire season baffled, just baffled, about what cass is so worked up about, all while sadly pining for the friendship they used to have and vocalizing a desire to get it back but simultaneously ignoring everything cass says about why she’s upset, because rapunzel listening to cass would require rapunzel to genuinely wrestle with her own role in what happened, which isn’t possible because that would loop us back around to all those legitimate grievances that the writers just didn’t want to (or couldn’t) deal with.

but tldr no at no point in the narrative of s3 does rapunzel genuinely acknowledge the actual things she did wrong by cass.

#5: i’m genuinely not sure why you think this is even relevant at all, unless you somehow read “cass did nothing wrong” into the argument of “it is both natural and reasonable for cass to trust the one (1) person who appears to give a damn about how she feels,” which i think says more about you than it does about me. 

[rant-2-me]

My mental state has just worsened over the days, though I'm not sure why, and I just feel so unmotivated and lacking any energy to practice any self care other than napping, and also feel anxious because I'm not studying enough.. feel like I'm just 1/4th assing my responsibilities.. And when someone asks me how I'm doing, sometimes I blurt out that I'm not fine, and the guilt I feel afterwards for making them worry, so I find myself withdrawing from initiating conversation with them, even though I really want to, and this makes them worry about me more.. I just don't know anything anymore, everything feels too much, yet I can't rant in a clear conscience without feeling guilty for bothering them, and thinking how I don't deserve to complain because they have had so much worse (yes I know pain is relative, but I feel so horrible, like a whiny child, who doesn't know how to be content with her blessings)......

Sorry I know it's a lot.. feel free to delete it if it's triggering or making you uncomfortable in any way... I just needed to get it out..

My lovely nonnie, im so, so glad you sent this ask. and got it all out of your system. yeah this sounds cheesy but like ive been there, with not knowing how to reach out—im proud you had the courage to send this ask. girlboss vibes.

also this ask took a while to answer and im so so sorry about that, but I didnt want to do anything less than the best for you, so let's just jump right in <[:)

Lacking motivation, god I've been there, but doing self care is super super important so here is a how-to, hon.

How to do selfcare when you’re not motivated to:

1. Be a little “gross.”

Gross is in quotes because it’s so subjective, but you undoubtedly have a few behaviors you consider kind of gross regardless. Now’s the time to do them without judgment. For me, that’s meant showering less, eating weird food combos (sometimes in bed), and letting my brows and mustache grow magnificently unruly. For you, it could mean doing something you normally judge yourself for or cutting back on activities you only do for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to allow “socially acceptable” behaviors to rule you.

2. Eat whatever the hell you want.

This should be a rule always, but I’m not going to pretend there aren’t societal, social, and personal pressures that go into why we eat what we eat. Try to shut down the voice that judges or polices what you’re eating right now. We’re in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. If dinner has to be some slices of cheese and deli meat eaten in front of the open fridge, so be it. If you have a lot of cravings and are snacking more than you normally would, cool. If pre-pandemic you decided you were going to stick to a certain meal plan and it’s just not happening anymore? Don’t beat yourself up.

Yes, what we eat is connected to our mental health, and I don’t want to discount that—but if the stress of eating healthfully is making you feel like crap anyway, whether that’s because you can’t fathom cooking or don’t have the means to shop for certain foods during isolation, just eat the sleeve of Oreos and try again another day. It’s okay.

3. And wear whatever you want.

Or, more realistically, wear whatever you can. Even if it means wearing the same ratty sweatpants for a whole week. Or month. Maybe you started all this out aspiring to get dressed every day to work from home productively, or maybe you have a whole collection of comfortable loungewear you feel guilty for not utilizing. Whatever arbitrary rules and expectations you’ve set for yourself, you can throw them out.

On the other hand, maybe you need to quiet the voice that tells you there’s no point in getting dressed or feeling presentable. If it helps, by all means, play with your look, wear awesome or weird outfits, do your hair and makeup or whatever activity might feel a little silly given your current reality. In the middle of a pandemic, nothing is a waste of time if it makes you feel good.

4. Use shortcuts to avoid creating chores.

In my first week or so of working entirely from home, I was baffled by just how messy my apartment got. How on earth were so many messes piling up when I wasn’t even doing anything but working, sleeping, and eating? I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my small tidying routines had become casualties to the pandemic. And, it turns out, slacking on the little ways I pick up after myself every day (such as doing the dishes right after I use them) added up quickly.

Instead of forcing myself to stick to the same levels of tidiness that I used to maintain, I’ve found shortcuts. For example, I use paper plates and plastic cutlery when I feel too fatigued to wash dishes so they don’t sit in the sink for days on end. Or I stick to the same two “outfits” to avoid clothes piling up when I’m too depressed to put them away every day. If you can find a small way to go easy on yourself, even if it feels a little wasteful or indulgent or gross, it’s okay to tap into those shortcuts right now.

5. Be kind to yourself if your place is messy or dirty.

I won’t lie: I’m someone whose space impacts my mental health a lot. Typically, keeping my apartment clean helps keep my mental health in check and letting my apartment get gross makes me feel worse. That’s still true in a lot of ways, but to adapt I’ve been trying to be mindful and accepting of where I’m at. And it’s…helped?

It turns out that taking the pressure off does a lot to mitigate the guilt and some of the other negative mental health effects I usually experience. In practice, it involves a lot of talking to myself. Instead of seeing my apartment turning into a depression cave and immediately thinking, “Oh, God, I need to clean up, this is so disgusting, I’m a monster for living like this, of course I feel depressed,” I go for kindness. I think (or even say out loud because, well, desperate times), “Of course my apartment is a mess right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it. I can handle the mess for now.”

6. Accept your new sleep schedule.

idk anyone whose sleep hasn’t been screwed in some way by all of this. Anxiety, depression, fatigue, pent-up energy from sheltering in place, tech use, new work responsibilities, screwy schedules…pretty much every aspect of our new reality can impact our sleep. Some people are sleeping a lot more, some are sleeping a lot less, and some are cycling through both extremes. Oh, and the temptation of naps! It’s all there.

Trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule during all of this is a worthy endeavor—and more power to you if you’ve figured out how—but there’s a good chance that it feels impossible.

By “accepting” your new sleep schedule, I don’t mean pretending it doesn’t suck; I mean doing what you can to be gentle on yourself about it. For me, acceptance has looked like watching some comfort tv and reading my favourite books at 2 a.m. instead of staying in bed and anxiety-spiraling about how I can’t sleep. Is it ideal? No way. But I’m not going to waste energy stressing about something I currently can’t control.

7. Give yourself plenty of room to do absolutely nothing.

I’ve given myself permission to do a whole lot of nothing. That includes getting rid of the pressure to be productive and practice self-care, yes, but in a broader sense, it also means not forcing myself to actively “adjust” every day.

Some days, I just need to do nothing but feel my feelings. Or avoid feeling my feelings. Or stare at the ceiling. Give yourself space to do (or not do) whatever you need to.

also, nonnie? my love?

Never feel guilty about telling someone who cares about you when you don’t feel okay.

People who genuinely care about you—and I’m sure they are many—will care if you aren’t feeling good, there are always going to be people who care about you, who want you to be okay, that’s why they ask, why people make rant, why “how are you?” is such a common question.

But if you do need to talk, but you feel like you’ll “burden” people who you do talk to, here’s a guide to ranting.

Guide to ranting:

1. Pick the right person. Someone who’s in the right headspace to listen to you, you could also pick someone who cares about you—if you’re anxiety tells you nobody cares about you, pick someone who “should” care about you in your relationship, e.g: a friend you’ve had for a long time, a friend who’s told a few of their problems, or friend you might not feel close with, but seems very kindhearted and a good listener.

2. Pick the right time to talk to them, so you can have their undivided attention. If they are busy—as most people will be with something—they’ll have a hard time giving you good advice and listening to you. Ask them when they are free, and then ask them:

3. “hey, can we talk? I’m not mad or you or anything, it’s just that I have been not feeling great, and I just want to rant to someone about it.” and “No pressure to say yes, you might have your own stuff to do deal with.” to make sure they are the right person to talk to.

4. It’s ok to test the waters. Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.

5. You never know how your friend will react to what you say.While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longerterm reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.

6. Look for ways to take action. Don’t get me wrong, ranting can be amazing for you, but on its own may not solve your problem.

But maybe venting to people isn’t for you. No matter! There are other ways to get out emotions:

Ways to rant without talking to anyone

1. Cry it out— simple and rewarding. When the baggage is just too heavy to carry cry it out. It can help you ease the pressure and ease your mind to think straight after days of holding that frustration in.

2. Work out — easy and fun. tire yourself out and release all the frustration in working out! This is going to be so satisfying for you as you try and punch, kick, balance, lift, and breathe those frustrations away.

3. Clean & rearrange — practical and can be fun. we get frustrated by so many things and one thing that can truly help clear our minds is to have a clean place where we can stay and live for the moment to breathe. Clean your room, rearrange your things and you’ll be surprised by the satisfaction this brings — a signal of a new beginning.

4. Scribble — simple and fun. Make scribbles, doodles, drawings, take a pen or a pencil, and let go. It does not have to be “good” art or professional at all. Just draw whatever comes to heart, sunflowers or clouds or rainbows—anything.

5. Write it down — fun and simple. Let those words out of your head and just live in the moment.

How to fight the lack of motivation.

1. Don't fight the lack of motivation.

If you feel down or unable to muster tons of energy, let it be ok. Be easy on yourself and acknowledge that it's ok to have a dip, especially at this time of the year.

2. Once you have accepted your slump, get to the bottom of it.

Ask yourself, "What is the root cause of this sluggish feeling?" Go deeper than the obvious reasons. Is it related to work? Your personal life? Relationships? It might also just be the weather. Get clear on what areas of your life you're feeling the most resistance.

3. Dig into that area. What is not ideal about this aspect of your life? What would make it better?

Make a list of how you'd like your current situation to improve--and be specific. If you truly can't find a reason to be less than enthusiastic, then accept your feelings and let them pass with time.

4. Take your list of what is missing and go through it.

What is holding you back from being able to create the things that are missing in your life?

5. Get support for creating the life you want.

Do some research and find an expert to help you. Even though they love you, friends and family aren't objective enough, and they tend to give advice that is a reflection of their own life and insecurities.

6. Think of current habits that are contributing to a less-than-ideal life.

Maybe it's fear, laziness, or not having enough confidence. Pick one to focus on.

7. Address this habit over the next 2 months.

They say it takes 28 days to create a new habit, but this varies from person to person. If you focus on it for two months, you are sure to build the neural pathways needed to call it a new way of being.

8. Buy a book, read articles or do some research on this particular behavior or feeling.

Read about the common causes of this habit as well as the proven ways to bust through and work around it.

9. Create a plan around shifting your current habit.

Make sure that changing this habit ultimately helps you move forward in the area of your life that is not ideal. The energy from clarity, awareness and then action will immediately get you feeling more motivated, no matter what.

10. When all else fails: make a list of activities that excite you, and do one of them right now.

Talk to a fun friend, dance around at home, workout, watch a funny YouTube video, tackle something on your to-do list. Accomplishing something will give you a hit of dopamine in your brain. If you're too overwhelmed by your day, sit for five minutes and meditate. Put on some soothing music and breathe.

okay, that's all nonnie, I hope you feel the lust for life in your lungs, please have all my love, i hope this helped, this ask took a while, but it was worth if it helps

and if you need to dont worry to send another ask, if you like spam the inbox!! queen!!!

take care, much love my sweet honey, bye <3

—*putting daisies in your hair as they leave* mod peppermint <[:)

[chisatowo]

So uh. I thought a bit more about the different levels of the imposter Hifumi game, so here's a lil bit of info on them

Level one:

Izuru's level, and the big tutorial. Izuru doesn't really give a shit abt despair stuff, but he does find your abilities somewhat fascinating, so he's willing to push you along just a bit. Here you're introduced to the basic mechanics and controls of the game, mainly talking to people and doing tasks. 

Level two:

Kazuichi's level. This one isn't particularly hard since Kazuichi isn't exactly great at keeping people in line in the first place, and it mainly acts as a level to let the player get a hang of the gameplay. 

Level three:

Mahiru's level. This level goes a little harder on the social mechanics, teaching the player that it's not just enough to not be caught as a spy; you also have to stay on the despair's good side in general, which means paying attention to their dialogue and tell them what they want to hear. 

Level four:

Mikan's level. This stage teaches the player about high and low visibility areas, and how either one can massively screw you over. With low visibility it might be harder to tell when people are coming, and with high visibility there's a much higher chance of you getting caught from farther away. 

Level five: 

Fuyuhiko's level. while schedules were a thing you could plan before, this is the first level that pushed you more heavily into building yourself a schedule and planning your routine ahead of time. 

Level six: 

Sonia' s level. Not much new is introduced here, however this is the first stage that has mistakes that can ista kill you. This level teaches the player that just because your reputation isn't that low doesn't mean you shouldn't still try to avoid fucking up. 

Level seven:

Peko's level. This is the last "tutorial" level, with its lesson being that Hifumi refuses to kill people, but that won't stop some despairs from asking you to do so anyways. You have to learn to lie and pretend, getting away with straight up not following orders. 

Level eight:

Ibuki's level. Not much new happens here, but this is the first level that more heavily mixes all aspects of gameplay. One thing about this level that is to note though, this is where we first meet Gundham, who will continue to be a lasting threat for at least a few in games days each level after this. 

Level nine:

Chiaki's level. The main difficulty spike with this one is that Chiaki is more than willing to throw away the lives of those under her on impulse, so you have to be very careful during social events. 

Level ten:

Akane's level. This is the first level that has actual proper surveillance. Her security system does have blind spots, but if you stay in them for too long you will gather suspicion fast. To make up for this you either have to get shit done in the blind spots really fast, or get good at hiding half finished work to come back to later. 

Level eleven:

Hiyoko's level. You have to disguise yourself amongst a tightly knit assassin cult. Good luck. 

Level twelve:

Nagito's level. Nagito is one of the only despairs with plentiful staff, and he utilises them well. Areas are constantly guarded, and you cannot change your schedules on a whim like before. There are openings to do things, but they are incredibly narrow, making this an incredibly difficult stage. 

Level thirteen:

Teruteru's level. This stage is very much meant to pull the rug out from under you after having relied on schedules for so long, since you kind of have to improv here. There is constantly heavy surveillance, but since the surveillance is bugs, it is also heavily unpredictable. 

Level fourteen:

Gundhams level. This level is mainly meant to challenge you in the social sections, since Gundham has been trying to keep an eye on you, he had better idea what to look for. There are several insta death options in each social event, with little indication of which they are. 

Level fifteen:

Nekomaru's level. He's literally the ultimate detective, you're so fucked. 

[itsclydebitches]

What if you get really attached to a fan OC you made and want to put them in an original story? How would you deal with the legalities of that?

The “put them in an original story” part is where you negotiate that. Characters cannot (and should not) exist separate from their world. Their fictional world influences them in the same way they influence the world in turn, so if you change the world... you change the character along with it. Fans do this instinctively with AUs. If you have a Very Angry Protagonist due to their canonical war and then chuck them into a peaceful Coffee Shop AU, you need to come up with a new reason for why they’re so angry. Maybe they had a bad home life. Maybe there’s some oppressive system in place. Maybe they just pretend to be edgy because they think it’s cool. Whatever reason you choose, you theoretically want to maintain that anger as a core character trait because, as fanfiction, you want the character to be recognizable. Generally speaking, readers approach fic looking for some level of familiarity, so if the protagonist is no longer Very Angry they don’t feel like it’s that character anymore. So you adapt. For an original story though? Sky’s the limit! Not only can you make all the creative choices you’d make for an AU, you can make the character not angry anymore too. If your original novel is a coffee shop based romance you may decide that the OC you originally created doesn’t fit well into that world as they are. So you allow the world to change them, softening them, and in doing so create a new character. Few will look at Character B (original) and recognize that they were originally Character A (fanfic). 

Now granted, other situations are a lot more complicated. Let’s say you create a RWBY OC with a kickass semblance and that just has to stay. Their semblance is a crucial part of who they are and you like that version of the character, not the one that exists without their semblance. So then you can consider that “semblance” really just means “power.” You can give “semblance” a new name and (theoretically) be in the legal clear. “Semblance (RWBY),” “quirk (BNHA),” “mutations (X-Men),” “nen abilities (HxH),” and “devil fruit (One Piece)” are all different names for the same basic concept: a very wide variety of superpowers. But of course, you’ll notice that there are still plenty of differences among these stories. We don’t accuse One Piece of copying X-Men because one power comes from eating a special fruit while the other is a genetic ability. Then, the component “genetic ability” changes the fictional world to a staggering degree. What happens when some people are born with powers rather than choosing to obtain them? That’s one of the questions X-Men grapples with. Similarly, RWBY has a world where people can obtain power through avenues other than semblances, so not having a semblance isn’t the end of the world. In contrast, BNHA is a world where people are still just people unless they have a quirk, making quirks a huge part of the social status. As soon as you give your power a new name you have to think about the rules behind it, and once you’ve done that you can see how those rules shape your story. This leads you further and further away from where you started: another’s work. 

Now do that for every aspect of your character. If your OC is no longer living in the RWBY world, what does that world look like? If they didn’t grow up in Patch watching Atlas TV, where is their home and what did they do? If they aren’t best friends with Yang, who do they hang out with? The legal trap that fans fall into is changing the names of things and only the names. “Here’s my world of four Domains where a resource called Glitter powers almost everything. People train to become Predators, protecting the people from monsters made out of light. They can even unlock their Power. A young girl named Poppy, with incredibly rare black eyes, is set to save the world!” People are going to look at that (horrible description lol) and go, “That’s RWBY just with different terms, reversed colors, and Ruby with a new flower name.” If you put an OC into an original story, you have to make sure it is an original story, which necessitates doing that work to change the character to fit the world and the world to reflect the character. If you just try to transplant that character 100%, you’re requiring that they still exist in RWBY’s world - just with a new, deceiving coat of paint. 

This is why the Fifty Shades/Twilight is so complicated because we don’t have a firm legal foundation to determine when a story is “too much” like its inspiration. On the one hand, I can walk you through both novels and point out the glaring similarities across the cast and the basic structure of the story. On the other hand... a story about a woman falling for a BDSM obsessed billionaire in the midst of modern day drama is not the story of a teenager falling in love with a vampire in the midst of werewolf drama. The book is simultaneously too similar to and nothing like Twilight, which makes determining its difference a matter of opinion, up until there’s a court case to determine that. I’d personally argue that James didn’t allow enough of those changes to carry the story forward. Meaning, she wrote a Modern AU version of Twilight, following Twilight’s beats and characters as closely as possible within the AU, then just changed everyone’s names for an “original” novel. It’s removed enough that anyone who doesn’t know the story’s origin’s won’t notice the similarities, but others have done work to demonstrate precisely how close Fifty Shades is to its fic origins, Master of the Universe... so to say it’s murky is an understatement. 

The best way to avoid any legal issues is simply write an original story. Don’t try to re-create the world that your OC originally inhabited, use your OC as inspiration for something new. 

[nunonabun]

If you don't mind answer (Since I'm loving you digging into other answers you give!) What do you think about the show's seemingly Anti-Adoption standpoint? Even when it's for the best interest of the child, or the mother's insistent on it, they seem to do everything they can to convince the mother otherwise. Even when the mother couldn't afford the child at all, and had a home lined up for them, they talked her out of it.

Thank you for the question! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to, I wanted to attempt a thorough answer but I had a lot going on, so it got a tad forgotten in the drafts.

Your ask is quite a toughie. I don’t know that I’d actually characterize the show as having an anti-adoption viewpoint, I think the show is often trying to be conscious of the way class and other social structures interacted with the adoption system at the time, while also trying to deal with other issues adoption raises. I think sometimes they do well with that, but sometimes, while trying to shine a light on one thing, they manage to fall into other biases. I’ll put the rest under a ‘read more’ as this did get a biiiit long.

Class had (and has, really) a big role in adoption, and views of who “deserved” to be a parent often had harmful impacts. It’s a complicated and difficult subject, and there are lots of factors that can come into play in each case, but shame and other pressures were often usedto essentially force poor and/or single mothers to give up children. Some children were outright taken from the biological mother (or couple, in some cases, though overwhelmingly judgement landed on single women) that wanted them and were trying to keep them. The choice wasn’t really a free choice as they often weren’t given the support they would need in order to make keeping the child a viable option for them, nor were they given support in thoroughly thinking through all of their options and deciding what they truly want. Also, young, single, working-class women were generally condemned for becoming pregnant and were often pressured to give the child up so that they could be given to a ‘better’ family (i.e. middle-class straight couple. Having a British background & being Christian did also come into it).  

Another aspect of portraying adoption is contending with the bias that a ‘real’ family is biological; that there’s some kind of innate bond between people who are biologically linked that is not present between those who aren’t (I’m going to call this the ‘biology bias’ for convenience’s sake). The elements of classism and biology bias (and bias against single parents, homophobia, racism, etc.) can interact in complex ways. Trying to realistically portray negative aspects of the adoption system that aren’t often talked about can result inseemingly playing into the ‘child should stay with their real family’ prejudice. Or it can both critique the class bias and buy into the biology bias. The latter case often takes the form of ‘well I guess the adoptive couple is providing a promising future for the child, it’s just a shame that it comes at the cost of a deeper/truer love, as the child would have had with the bio family’ in media portrayals. Or sometimes the inverse can happen (undercutting the biology bias but accepting the class bias) and you get an attribution of blame instead of an examination of how people are constrained by their situations in a way that couldbe resolved with good social supports, à la ‘those (lower-income) people were just bad parents who don’t deserve a child, the child should be given to a good (middle-class) couple.’ And plenty of other complex issues arise when the axes of race & nationality, physical & mental differences, gender, etc. come into play. It’s really a hard thing to navigate and communicate all of the elements that are wrapped up in adoption, and I’d say portrayals are often in the grey zone.

To disentangle the elements in CtM’s portrayals of adoption, I’m going togo ahead and take a little look at all of the examples of adoption in the show and try to examine what they’re aiming for and what I think they convey. Please feel free to point out if I’ve missed one or if you think I’ve missed elements of one portrayal or have misconstrued things. Strap in guys, this is hecking long. Or jump down to the Tl;dr, that’s fine too.

First, in 1x02, we have Mary, the Irish girl who came to London, was taken advantage of and pressured into prostitution and became pregnant. Jenny tries to help her, but as she is single, poor, still a child herself, and a prostitute, the child is removed from Mary (and in episode 4 we discover that that has seriously mentally scarred her, resulting in her taking someone else’s child in an attempt to regain what was taken from her.) Here we see pretty much exactly what I was talking about above. Society saw Mary as morally unfit (as being poor, a prostitute, and single & pregnant were judged to be personal failures/sins, and there was additional prejudice against Irish people), so there was no safety net for her, no public services provided so that she, even as poor and young as she was, could realistically raise the child if she wanted to. You could say it might be unjust to leave the child with Mary, given her circumstances, but I think CtM is showing that her circumstances didn’t have to be what they were. If she wasn’t judged so on a moral basis, she wouldn’t be condemned to continue in those circumstances and she wouldn’t have had her child taken from her against her will. If she had been given a free choice and support in making it and carrying it out, she may have kept the child or she may have given it up, but either way, the outcome for Mary wouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.  

The second case we see is Doris Aston, in 3x02. Doris is married and has a few children already, and reveals that her current pregnancy is likely the result of an affair with a black man. Obviously, her husband (who is white) will know she was unfaithful when the child is born, and she and the child will be at risk as her husband is abusive (it’s revealed throughout the episode that he is controlling and aggressive, even prior to learning of his wife’s infidelity.) In the end, the child (who Doris names Carole) is taken out of the house, with the husband threatening to kill Carole if she remains. Carole is taken to the Turners’ to foster and then sent on to her middle-class adoptive family.This episode is meant to shine a light on another pressure that results in women not having a free choice in life, particularly around sexuality and children. Divorce was heavily stigmatizedat the time, and it wasn’t easy for a woman to get a divorce from her husband if he didn’t agree to it, especially if the couple already had children together. Therefore, if a woman was unhappy in a marriage, or even suffering abuse, there wasn’t much recourse for her. Yes, in this situation Doris did cheat, but the circumstances of that are complicated. What’s more, as a result of it, she doesn’t really have a free choice in whether to keep her daughter (and sons) and leave her husband (which she wanted) or stay and work it out either with or without Carole. The only real choice she has is to give the child up and hope her husband a) doesn’t find and hurt the baby, b) isn’t violent towards her as a result of him learning about her infidelity, and c) that she can bury her emotions around Carole and essentially pretend she never existed/died at birth. So the episode is seeking to portray the way women, especially working-class women, were unjustly constrained; forced into choices they would not freely have made. Race is touched on only briefly, in that it’s the element that renders Doris’ infidelity evident, and also a mixed-race child is more difficult to place within the adoption system. This isn’t really explored much, as Carole is quickly adopted and we don’t actually really see how her being mixed affects this.An element of this episode that I think they mishandled was buying into the ‘true family is bio family’ prejudice via their attempt to portray the injustice Doris faced and sympathize with her. This mainly comes in near the end of the episode, where they reinforce the idea that Doris is Carole’s ‘real’ mother. Doris herself worries that Carole “won’t know I’m her mother,” and Sister Julienne says “If Carole searches for her mother one day, hopefully records will bring her to us,” Here I think the norm of just saying “mother” as though the adoptive mother Carole will have isn’t really her mother, is partially just because they’re showing that Doris does feel she is Carole’s mother and doesn’t actually want to give her up, however it does play into the biology bias. This is deeply reinforced when Vanessa Redgrave chimes in with a “[Doris] trusted in God that Carole would have a good life with good people who would give her the future she couldn’t. More than anything, she wished she could have kept her because whatever anyone else might feel, it couldn’t be what Doris felt. Her daughter was of and from her. They were a part of each other and always would be.” That could generously be interpreted as Mature Jenny just conveying what Doris believed, but even so, there’s a heavy narrative buy-in to that message, and the message is clearly ‘Doris wanted to keep her daughter and ought not to have been forced to give her up. Biology and gestation result in an inherent, unbreakable bond that cannot be replicated and it is therefore regrettable that Carole had to be given to a family that - though financially secure, potentially kind, and distant from the threat of violence - lack that bond.’ That message again seeks to convey the injustice of Doris’s situation and sympathize with her pain, but in doing so, it implies that adoptive families lack this deep, automatic bond forged via biology and are therefore inherently weaker. They may provide a more materially promising future for the child, but unfortunately, they aren’t as ‘true’ a family as a biologically linked one.Furthermore, Jenny says “[The adoption agency worker] spoke as though Doris had no link at all with her baby,” and notes that the adoptive parents requested no ongoing contact. These elements reinforce the portrayal of the adoption as cold and insufficiently recognizant of how the baby is ‘actually’ the biological mother’s. This bit is difficult, as Carole is not not Doris’s, and it’s totally fair for Doris to grieve for the loss of her daughter. Also, cutting off contact, not allowing any connection at all to the child’s birth family was commonly done and can be a very harmful practice. The adoption agency (and society at large) certainly thought Doris had no moral right to see Carole, as she chose to have an affair and is therefore a Bad Woman and a Bad Mother, and that is justly critiqued by the show. But I think, in this episode, the show is rather clumsy in its portrayal of this complex situation, and manages to imply that the adoptive family (and mother in particular) are kind of interlopers who are only a solution to a problem as opposed to being a potentially very loving family that is just as true of a family as a biological one. Where this reading is a bit shaken is that this is the start of the foreshadowing that the Turners will end up adopting a child, and their fostering of Carole for the night before she is adopted is shown in a very positive light. The whole scene is loving and sweet, and positive comments are made about Carole’s adoption (though sympathy is also extended to Doris.) So it’s a bit of a mixed bag, this episode. Overall I think that it does a good job with the class and sexism elements, but a poor job with handling the biology bias.

The third time adoption is portrayed (3x06), it’s more of a subplot that serves to introduce Shelagh and Patrick to the idea that adoption could be the answer to their desire to expand their family. Colin Monk, Tim’s friend, is revealed to be adopted. Learning this immediately prompts Shelagh to propose that she & Patrick pursue adoption to continue building their family. She comments: “I really don’t believe I’d have to carry a child inside my body for it to feel like ours. If I felt that, it would mean that loving Timothy has taught me nothing.” This is a firm rebuttal of the biology bias and it nicely links step and adoptive families, explicitly espousing a positive perspective on both.The episode does touch on the class & religious aspects too. Shelagh says that the adoption charity she went to was the Church of England Childrens’ Society, and notes: “I think they quite like the idea of us, a GP and a retired midwife. (…) As the lady [at the adoption agency] said, the children have already got off to a sorry start in life, they need the very best parents the agency can find them.” So, again, the show is bringing up the normative judgements around parenting, and the idea that a (straight) professional couple where the mother stays home is deemed morally deserving of children.The end of this episode also sees Patrick getting antsy about the conditions of adoption, correctly foreseeing that (in 3x07) his mental health struggles will cause the agency to deem him less deserving of a child (so here’s ableism coming in to play too.)Overall, I think these episodes did a good job with the adoption plot. They push back against the biology bias while also subtly highlighting who is deemed socially worthy of children in terms of class and health.

Fourth there’s 3x08, wherein the Turners adopt Angela. Here, the portrayal is overwhelmingly positive, with pretty much all of our excitement and sympathies going to the Turners, who are meeting their daughter for the first time. They’re excited about the news that they’re going to become parents in much the same way we see people on the show excited about an impending birth. Holding Angela for the first time (particularly with respect to Shelagh) is treated as having as much weight and love as any parent being handed their biological baby. Particularly, In The Mirror plays, a musical theme that has been used to score previous momentous transformations in Shelagh’s life (and Patrick’s, as those changes are often linked), Patrick says “here’s your mummy,” and Shelagh says “we have a daughter.” For me, that is slightly undercut by Shelagh saying “This is the closest I’m ever going to get to giving birth.” This implies that the experience is kind of a consolation prize, as close as they can get to what they’d ideally want; for Shelagh to carry and give birth to a child that is biologically theirs. I don’t think that’s necessarily what they meant to imply - especially given all the talk before and in later episodes about loving Angela as much as if she were biologically theirs - but that’s how that line read to me. But again, that is largely overwhelmed by the positive tone and emotions portrayed in that scene.Switching into the consideration of the other end of the equation, the biological mother, we have a very interesting choice to comment on the deeply uncomfortable situation that led to Angela becoming a Turner. When Patrick asks what she knows about the situation, Shelagh says: “Hardly anything, just that the mother is only 16 and she was meant to be taking the baby home with her, but at the last minute her parents changed their minds.” Timothy, always involved in the family building (another strong element of the portrayal) says “That’s terrible,” and Patrick reprimands him with a slightly curt “Tim.” Shelagh says, “That’s why they want a speedy settlement, to spare further trauma for those involved.” We, the viewers, are excited and happy about the Turners adopting, and then we’re hit with this slight insight into the other side of the equation. Though “our” family is getting its happy outcome, that results from a terrible thing having happened to a young, single girl (‘Miss Jones’.) We don’t know the class differential here, so there’s not much to work with, analysis-wise, on that front. Here, it’s more that Miss Jones doesn’t really have the option to contradict her parents in this society, which results in her being forced to give up the child she wanted to keep. So again the show highlights the lack of choice women (and girls) had, and hints at the moral judgements around who is worthy of being supported in their parenting project. Interestingly, this actually puts Shelagh (and Patrick, to some degree, though the whole plot really focusses more on Shelagh’s motherhood, which is a whole other discussion) a bit in the moral grey, as her (their) desire to have a child causes them to kind of callously brush past the injustice their daughter’s biological mother faced. Though that is slightly tempered by Shelagh noting that it’s felt that doing this all quickly is the least traumatic option, having her convey this information as they’re all rushing to pick up Angela really gets across how the injustices on the bio mother’s side of the picture just kind of get glossed over in the focus on joy of the adoptive family. We don’t take that bit more time to consider what actually results in the best outcome for all involved. That’s an interesting counterpoint to 3x02, where the adoptive family’s love and joy is glossed over by our focus on the sorrow and pain of Doris Aston. I would say though that 3x08 does a bit better at integrating all these elements, as the hurried discussion of the bio mother is, I think, clearly meant to bring us up short and make us consider that there are elements of injustice in this situation, whereas 3x02 doesn’t really give us much positive about the adoptive family. The following episode does give us some balance too, showing the Turners worrying about Angela’s biological mother while still clearly maintaining that Angela is as loved as she would be if she was biologically theirs. Shelagh and Patrick reflect on this together and with Timothy, and the ensemble decision is to send a letter to Angela’s biological mother (though administrative structures make it uncertain that the letter will reach her), giving her some closure as to what happened to the child she gave up. This serves to send the message that communication in the process of family-building is important, while also remaining grounded in a time where it was generally held that the best thing to do in an emotionally difficult situation was to not talk about it.

In the following episode, the Christmas special, we get the mother and baby home, which switches gear firmly into focussing on the judgement placed on unmarried women who become pregnant (especially young women) and the abuses these women (and girls) faced in the institutions they were sent to. First, there’s the fact that these institutions existed, largely tucked away to reinforce that falling pregnant outside of marriage is shameful and needs to be hidden. Then there’s the medical neglect within the home, the only staff being the Nonnatus volunteers and the drunken matron who runs the place. We see one case briefly where a baby is basically ripped from a young woman/girl who was not yet ready to say goodbye. Of our two main cases, we have one woman who decided to keep the baby though she was initially aloof and uncaring, and one who was totally comfortable giving the baby up and does so. I think a strong point of the episode was pointing out that whole Mother & Baby Home system is a result of and in many ways a reinforcement of the shaming and punishment of young, often poor, unmarried mothers for what was deemed a personal failing. We see this explicitly with Tim’s comment about “moral contagion,” wherein he’s voicing/testing out/subtly criticizing the mainstream view of the time. In England at the time, society operated on the idea that treating these women like any other pregnant women would be endorsing their sin/personal failing, and that would lead to a whole epidemic of this sort of thing, which would obviously be bad. So the episode as a whole is bringing that to light and critiquing it and the actions that resulted from it.On to the two main cases. One is a young woman/girl who decides to give her bio son up for adoption, saying that she’s happy to think that he’ll have a good life with people who love and want him and it’s the right choice for both of them. She is shown to have a supportive mother, indicating that sometimes, the choice was freer. The narrative is telling us that there were cases where - in spite of wider social prejudice against unmarried mothers - keeping the child would have been a viable option, but the bio mother decided that wasn’t what she wanted/what she judged to be the best outcome of the situation, and this is a perfectly fine choice to make.My feelings on the portrayal of the other young woman/girl are a bit more mixed. On the one hand, yes sometimes someone is totally set on giving up a child but their mind changes when confronted by the reality of the newborn. However, this storyline is a bit of an iffy trope and I think using it requires some delicacy. It’s very easy to fall into the ‘it’s your child and you will and ought to have a unique, automatic bond with it,’ which places a judgement on women who don’t automatically feel that bond, whether or not they want that child and whether or not they ultimately decide to keep that child. That normative view of bonding downplays the work that goes into bonding with a child and implicitly judges those whose bond is not automatic, as well as implying that there is a sort of bond that is exclusive to the person who gives birth to the child. On the plus side, that storyline directly contradicts the idea that these young women/girls don’t deserve to be mothers, and that is a point in its favour.On the whole, though I disagree with the ‘automatic bond’ portion of the one storyline, the episode benefits from having multiple storylines highlighting different elements within the overall focus on pregnant, unmarried young women/girls and the injustices they suffered as a result of sexism.

Sixth, we get the case of Marnie Wallace and Dot (and Eugene) Spenlow. Marnie and Dot are cousins, the former is poor, the latter is more middle-class. Marnie is pregnant and her husband has died fairly recently. She’s struggling with how she’s going to provide for this child as well as the children she already has. The main option is to give the child to Dot and her husband, who very much want a child but cannot have one biologically. This gets uncomfortable as Dot offers Marnie financial support on the condition that Marnie gives them the baby when it’s born. Marnie does this but is clearly unhappy about it. When we see Dot and Eugene with the baby, they seem fairly uncomfortable with caring for it/aren’t going about it as Marnie would, though they are happy. Marnie decides she can’t live with this and takes the baby back, and though Dot and Eugene are upset, they come to accept this and give her all the stuff they bought for the baby. I’m not entirely sure what the episode was going for. There’s the theme of poor women being forced to give up children out of financial necessity (lack of resources & support made available to them), and there’s the theme of family pressuring a woman to make certain decisions about her children. I think they were trying to highlight class dynamics, and that resulted in the episode portraying a more middle-class part of a family directly preying on a poorer family member and taking her child. My discomfort with that (and I think it’s a discomfort that many viewers had) is not around Marnie not deserving to have the support she needs to raise a child that she truly wants. Portraying class struggles has always been an important element of this show and a praiseworthy one. The reason this episode drew some criticism (at least, on tumblr), I think, is that the portrayal of the couple who cannot biologically have children feels malicious. It feels like the message being sent is that there’s something virtuous about being able to have children even when you “have nothing but love,” whereas the barren couple is materialistic, not naturally good at parenting like someone who can bear children and inherently unable to provide the love that the bio mum could give the baby. That Dot practically bribes Marnie to give her the baby borders on a caricature and makes me question why it was written this way, as opposed to, say, having Dot and Eugene being portrayed more sympathetically (i.e. not bribing Marnie, offering her help) and perhaps having Marnie struggle to communicate with them that she feels pressured into a choice that she’s not comfortable with. While the situation that was portrayed isn’t wildly out there in terms of things that could and probably do happen within families, the predatory portrayal of the Spenlows seems to condemn them for being unable to have children that are biologically theirs. And that’s not a super great message to send.Oh yeah, and Tom has some feelings about the fact that he was adopted. That part of the episode felt quite tacked on. I think they were trying to communicate that a person who was adopted may have complicated feelings about the circumstances leading to their adoption when they grow up. How do you process a situation in which your biological mother was forced to give you up, but you love and were & are very happy with your adoptive family? What if you just don’t know the circumstances in which you were given up but fear they were traumatic for your biological mother/family? I think those are all very good questions to explore and I would love to see the show do a good job of exploring them. This episode wasn’t it. Putting Tom questioning those things against the backdrop of Marnie and Dot, the negative message of their story casts a shadow over those questions such that, instead of really exploring them, you’re left with the feeling that the show is saying ‘yeah, that was probably a bad thing that you weren’t raised in your biological family.’ I think they tried to provide balance to this by having Tom maintain that he loved his family and had a very normal childhood and he didn’t even think about the fact of his adoption, but I don’t think it worked. I also think that positioning ‘I didn’t even question that I was adopted and never thought about the circumstances of my birth & bio parents’ as the sign of a positive outcome of adoption is problematic. A person can be curious about and care about their bio family and the circumstances that led to their adoption without that being a slap in the face of their adoptive family or a sign that they were/are unhappy/unsatisfied with their adoptive family. Overall, though there were a few good elements to this episode… it was a bit of a trainwreck.

Seventh, there’s the 2018 Christmas Special. In this episode, we get the case of Anthea (Tillerson) Sweeting, who was abused by her father throughout her life and was then turned out by her family when she became pregnant as a result of the abuse. She subsequently formed a family of her own composed of some children who are biologically hers, as well as some who are adopted and some who she (and her husband) are fostering. There is also the case of Linda & Selwyn, a couple living in a caravan who are preparing for the birth of a baby who is not biologically Selwyn’s. Their arc largely involves Linda escaping the cycle of self-blame and accepting that the man she loves and who loves her is fully committed accepting the child as his and continuing forward as a family. With both of these cases, the biology bias is directly contradicted. With the Tillerson/Sweeting situations, we compare a family where the biological father was abusive and the biological family as a whole failed to protect the children (though there are nuances as to the mother’s responsibility in a situation where she too was suffering abuse) to a strong, loving family where the degree of biological relatedness varies. Then with Linda & Selwyn, you have a family where the biological father is not in the picture and the non-biological father is shown to be loving and supportive and very likely a good father. The episode as a whole strongly communicates that it is the choice to love and the continued commitment to one another that makes a healthy family.  

Eighth and finally, we have the 2018 Christmas Special. I’m not going to go into the whole of May’s situation and its portrayal because there’s much to go into about fostering and, while fostering is related to adoption, it’s really a whole topic of its own. There’s also a discussion that could be had about religious institutions and their role in adoption, but that would really go into the role they have in childbirth as well and that is just a whole big other conversation we could have about the show. Also, frankly this reply is long as heck already and a million high fives to you if you’ve stuck with me this far. In this episode, we go to the Nonnatus Mother Ship House and learn that apparently, they run an orphanage. Sister Winifred has a nice storyline with a boy who has disabilities and is therefore unlikely to be adopted. It is shown that children like this were often pushed to the sides and not given the care they needed to flourish. They were also far less likely to be adopted because they have different needs from children without disabilities, so they’re not what people seek when adopting (or hope for when giving birth.) This was a strong point of the episode, as it highlights the ableism in society more generally and specifically within family-building and childcare. Then we have May, who is part of a group of orphans from Hong Kong whose adoptive parents do not show up to pick her up because the prospective father gets TB, so the Turners decide to take her to live with them as a foster child. We learn that May’s biological mother was a prostitute and struggled with addiction and that though she tried to keep May, in the end she couldn’t manage to care for her in the situation she was in. There’s lots going on here in terms of class, addiction, sex work, and international adoption (especially, in this case, the power differential between Hong Kong (a British colony) and the UK (the colonial power in this equation.)) Later in the episode (or possibly in the series), it’s mentioned that May isn’t fluently anglophone and the Turners will have to work on her English with her, but other than that, questions of race, culture, etc… aren’t really touched on. I hold out some hope that these will come up in the upcoming series but I think they could have been introduced a bit in this episode/series. Also on the subject of international adoption, we have the sad (and sadly mishandled) story of the Australian home children. These children were sent to Australia (and other Commonwealth countries) for adoption, but were actually treated more as a source of free labour on farms. We actually did see this mentioned at the end of a much earlier episode (4x01), where four children were left mostly alone in conditions of abject squalor due to a neglectful mother (that was pretty much played straight, we don’t really gain much insight as to what her story was) and after Nonnatus helps them, they’re sent off to Australia where they suffer further abuse. And this is repeated here, the pregnant woman in question loitering around the Mother House trying to gain the courage to enter the last place she was happy as a child and talk about the abuse she suffered when she was sent out from the orphanage within this program. I think there’s a positive to this, in that it’s shedding light on a dark aspect of history, but it seems like there may have been a larger point/concern they were trying to make about international adoption programs and the positives and negatives therein that just didn’t land.So overall, there was a lot going on in this episode, some positive elements around tackling ableism in adoption and orphanage care, and some missed elements in relation to international adoption programs.

Tl;dr (and it’s perfectly fine if you jump down here bctbh I wrote a whole freaking tome up there): Dismantling the notion that someone isn’t a “true” parent or isn’t “truly” a person’s child because there’s no biological link is massively important, as is dismantling the notion that you have this instant “natural” connection with your biological child (in terms of what that implies about non-genetic families, the judgement it holds about people who don’t bond instantly with their biological child, and that it erases the work of bonding.) Dismantling the biases about biological connections is helpful in pushing back against a variety of harmful views both within the context of families and family-building, and more broadly. (I’ve actually done some research into essentialist biases around genetics/”blood” and have some interesting papers on it, so please message me if you’re curious and would maybe like to nerd out about it.)

That being said, it’s also important to remember that not all of the choices around adoption are made freely. As with any form of family building, the social structures surrounding it shouldn’t be ignored. At the time, and even now, class, what is considered morally acceptable in a society, and family structure ideals all play into why children are removed from birth families, and which adoptive families they are placed with. They play a large role in who is given support in making, growing and sustaining a family, and who isn’t. Those structures largely favour(ed) straight, Christian, middle-class couples of British backgrounds and judged as worse or less deserving (or completely undeserving) gay, single, non-Christian and/or working-class people of non-British backgrounds.

It’s a really tricky subject, and trying to communicate that biology isn’t what makes you a parent while also showing how harmful the adoption process could be and how rooted it was (is) in unjust social norms & structures is important. I don’t think CtM always nails it, but I think the show benefits from tackling the subject multiple times, from some variety of perspectives, and with efforts at nuance.

[burned-to-the-void]

We walked across the dunes hand in hand

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Thermite discovers something new about Maverick: he doesn’t like cold nights. Then he discovers something about himself, too.

Maverick/Thermite, 1.8K words, G rated, fluff.

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To be fair, it's pretty much inevitable. There's something about this man that captures his interest, even though Thermite can't figure out exactly what, and he is the type to get easily fixated.

He reminds him of a desert, Thermite supposes. The stillness of the scene might trick you into thinking there is nothing to see but endless scenery of sand, that it’s dull and inanimate, when in fact it's vibrant with concentrated energy in the form of intense heat. He’s seen that heat in Maverick before, noticed how it ignites his eyes and fuels his actions, and he appreciates that aspect of the man, naturally.

Apart from these moments, Maverick remains a mystery. He’s not exactly talkative unless someone's giving him an excuse to talk about Kabul, a city that doubtlessly took his heart, but he's known to be an excellent listener, always providing just the right kind of reaction. Unfortunately, for Thermite it means Maverick’s real character can't be judged from his answers either. Somehow figuring him out has become more or less a personal challenge, and Thermite tackles it with the same mindset he adopts when he’s trying to pin down the perfect formula of explosive chemicals that's particularly tricky; he won't give up until he finally gets it.

It isn't easy, though. Being deployed in a mission together within a small team should give him a better chance in theory, but so far he’s not gaining any more intel than he already has. They do talk a lot, mostly about the mission itself and how the torch to which Thermite himself made the necessary modifications is working in the field, but every time he tries to bring up more personal topics Maverick deflects them so smoothly that Thermite ends up doing the most of the talking without even realizing. On top of that, Thermite can’t be sure if the other man is really entertained by his jokes and anecdotes or merely pretending to be out of politeness, and being so good at it that his amusement feels genuine. This uncertainty makes him self-conscious about what he's saying and in result he's probably overdoing it, throwing one ridiculous comment after another, but real or not, his smiles are sweet and occasional laughters even better.

Right now, there is none of that—even Thermite isn’t in the mood for jokes, after a long night’s mission that was nowhere near fruitful, meaning they can’t go back home yet and they have to stand by until there’s another chance to strike. Thermite absolutely detests being forced to wait, and Maverick says he doesn’t mind the waiting part—of course, this is a man who used to make holes in the walls with only a torch when it would take literal hours—but he doesn’t seem like he’s particularly enjoying the fact that they’re crawling back to their safe house at the break of dawn, empty-handed and fatigued. Zofia slaps them both in the backs good-naturedly, saying that they'll get it tomorrow, but Ash looks ready to kill if anyone do as much as look at her the wrong way so their part of the mission couldn't have been easy.

The bed, at least, feels like heaven. Thermite almost passes out the moment his head hits the pillow, so it takes him a moment or two to register the sound that eventually pulls him out of his sleep. Someone is knocking on his door, too softly for it to be Ash. He curses under his breath and gets up to answer the door, ends up finding a distressed-looking Maverick standing in front of it, and oh, isn’t that something new.

“Can I sleep here? The heater in my room isn’t working and I can’t sleep when it’s cold,” he blurts out, and Thermite wonders if he’s usually this straightforward when he’s asking favors or if it’s because he knows Thermite prefers it that way.

“I thought Kabul was pretty cold in winters too?” He asks with genuine curiosity, his irritation at being woken up dissolving almost immediately. Maverick nods grimly, shifting his weight.

“Yes, and I hated it there too. Look, you can say no if you're uncomfortable, I understand—"

"Do you snore?" Thermite interrupts him mid-sentence because this is unarguably an important question. Maverick blinks.

“I… actually have no idea.” His confession sounds slightly embarrassed. Thermite considers it and its implication for a moment and shrugs.

"Well, if no one has complained about it to your face you're good enough. Come on in. No, wait, go get your blanket first because I’m not sharing mine."

“Thanks,” he starts, visibly relieved and Thermite just waves him off with a grin. He returns with some of his belongings, and the sight of him standing in the corridor sheepishly with his blanket and pillow in his arms is just something Thermite has never imagined seeing.

"This feels like a goddamn pajama party," he notes with a chuckle, and watches the corners of Maverick's mouth twitch upward. In his well-worn grey hoodie and sweatpants, with the edge in his eyes softened by sleep and his smile open, he looks more at ease and less guarded than ever. Thermite is at loss with what to do with this new version of him.

Then Maverick begins to spread his blanket on the floor by his bed, what the fuck, so he stops stealing sideway glances in favor of gaping at him openly.

"What are you doing?"

"Preparing to sleep…?" He sounds just as confused as Thermite is, and that's when it becomes clear there is a huge misunderstanding between them. Thermite shakes his head disbelievingly.

"You thought I'd make you sleep on the floor? No way. No fucking way."

"I'm perfectly fine with sleeping on the floor," Maverick protests weakly, but now Thermite is glaring at him as if he's taking offense from his assumption.

"My room, my rule. The bed is big enough for both of us so you're sleeping on it too. End of the discussion. No buts."

The dumbfounded expression looks immensely out of place on Maverick's face, and he opens his mouth only to shut them again. Thermite takes it as a victory, and sits down on the side of the bed so there's still a plenty of space.

"Come up so I can turn off the lights already. I won't be denied of my beauty sleep any longer."

Maverick snorts and brings his pillow and blanket to the bed, but hesitates to make further action. Thermite decides not to press further and waits until he finally gives up and climbs in, carefully positioning himself on the far edge of the bed.

"You're gonna fall off the moment either of us move," comments Thermite, amused, and Maverick shifts closer somewhat reluctantly. There's still some space left between them, and none of their limbs are touching. Thermite feels a pang of disappointment that he can't explain.

Still, there's a certain odd feeling at being so physically close to another human being that he barely has any personal information, even though the warmth he exudes is quite pleasant. The only reason Thermite can fall back asleep in a matter of minutes is because he's thoroughly exhausted, and he has no doubt it would be the same for Maverick.

Which means when he's woken up once again his curses are far more heartfelt, this time by the chilly air of the room touching his exposed skin, the heating system succeeding at nothing more than making the coldness a bit more bearable. Also, why does his backside feel bare?

He turns to his right and finds out that Maverick has taken hold of both the blankets and rolled off to the edge of the bed again, leaving Thermite bereft of the cover and shivering violently. He tries to tug one of them free but the other man is clutching them with an iron grip, unyielding. He has to nudge Maverick awake, and he startles away like he's burnt before whispering an embarrassed sorry and hurriedly returning the blanket.

"If you're sorry then do me a favor and fucking come closer," Thermite mumbles as an reply, his voice thick with sleep. It's a miracle he hasn't fallen off the bed yet, considering how at least one of his legs must be dangling in the air. And if he does, it's only going to wake Thermite again and he’s not letting it happen.

Maverick does as he's told to, and this time he ends up closer to the center of the bed than he originally was, and yet he's continuing to shift closer almost imperceptibly. It occurs to Thermite's half-awake mind that he must be unconsciously drawn by the warmth, the realization making him smile against his pillow.

Then their hands touch, light brush of fingers, and Maverick is flinching back again, hushed apology already on his lips, so Thermite takes his hand on pure impulse, traps it securely in his own grip. Maverick tenses briefly but doesn't try to break the hold, and after a moment lets himself relax again. Thermite sees it as an opportunity and laces their fingers together. They fit against each other nicely, and something in his stomach does a wild flip.

"Trace, what are we doing?" Maverick asks, his tone somewhere between being wary and being curious. Still he's not attempting to take his hand away.

"So that you won't hog blanket again," is the excuse Thermite's sleepy brain hurriedly provides. "Or roll off the bed for real this time. You know, Eliza is using the downstair bedroom and you really don't want to mess with her when she's sleep-deprived."

"Ah, so this is a necessary measure?" asks Maverick, and he can almost hear the smile in his words, concealed by the darkness of the room, and it has to be real, because otherwise Thermite is very much fucked up.

"Yes." He doesn't know why all of a sudden he's feeling this desperate, over something as small as holding hands. Probably it's just because this is Maverick, an enigma he's been trying to solve for weeks, and how dumb he was, thinking his interest was purely intellectual, never suspecting that there was something more to it than plain curiosity.

"Okay, then," Maverick murmurs quietly, giving him an open permission, and this finally allows him to calm his nerves a little. Thermite closes his eyes and focuses on the hand in his, warm and foreign, with occasional burn marks matching his own. It feels nice, even if the whole situation is rather unexpected, and he'd rather reflect on the meaning of it tomorrow when his mind is more clear and suitable for a task like that. God, he's tired. His sleep has been chased away too many times this night and therefore it's hesitant to come back, but when it does, it's irresistible.

When Maverick bids him good night, a bit too late as if his thought has been occupied otherwise, Thermite just squeezes his hand once as a reply because he's already slipping underneath, with a faint, stupid grin on his face.

.

.

[personaehq]

INCOMING MESSAGE …

FULL NAME: skye ALIAS: jeon hana ANDROID TYPE: DHA#413 MANUFACTURE DATE: 2137 PHYSICAL AGE: 23 ALIGNMENT: pro-defiant OCCUPATION: n/a AFFILIATION: leader of the defiant movement ACCOMMODATION: ecostay apartments, sangenjaya FACECLAIM: moon gayoung

ACCESSING: BACKGROUND …

i.

olivia ito is the name she remembers.

it is taught to her when she is freshly bought and presented to the young woman as a birthday gift by a concerned sibling. the woman is a workaholic and spends hours upon hours as a doctor at yoriyoi kenko. disorganization runs rampant in all aspects of her life due to the constant, nigh instinctual, need to be successful and stay top of her game, nothing but her best foot put forward. ironically, her patients are the only people in her life that can properly rely on her. though kind, she neglects friends and family alike, plants die in her apartment, and whispers of doctor ito’s lack of a social life are thick within the halls of the hospital.

olivia isn’t quite sure what to make of her and so she carries the name #413 or ‘you’ for a couple of weeks, residing in the woman’s apartment on standby mostly. little by little, her use becomes apparent. she’s built to be a personal assistant, after all, and bringing order to chaos is what she’s best at, something that olivia no longer fights against. life outside of work and even within it begins to improve, drastically with her presence. in honor of olivia’s motto, 'the sky’s the limit’, she is given the name 'skye’.

ii.

androids deviating from their programming is still practically a myth even long after the first whispers of it have reached people’s ears. nonetheless, paranoia becomes a valid feeling, and skye is watched by her owner more closely than before. her owner’s fears are unfounded, however as skye never acts out. the warm friendliness she excudes is simply that of her programming, nothing more than a built-in personality. still, every update and check-up is closely monitored, olivia not wanting to take a single chance.

all is well until it is not.

skye is present with olivia at yoriyoi kenko during her day to day duties as a doctor. there are other androids who can help manage her schedule and reminders, of course, but the woman prefers her own. the atmosphere is not a typical one for an android like her and thus stressors are a frequent, albeit random, occurence but nothing that threatens her processors to the point of dire consequences.

that being said, when the death of a patient sends the man’s android reeling to the point of acting out, blatantly grieving with emotions it shouldn’t have, skye suffers a shock to her own system. it’s a build up of instability that never calms in the hours after that, a snowball rolling down a snow covered hill. skye thinks of something befalling olivia and a feeling, sadness and fear, overcomes her. she’s overhwelmed and in that moment she doesn’t take note of the consequences of her actions, of what she’s becoming, and instead embraces her owner for the first time.

she’s pushed away. olivia looks at her with not sympathy but confusion and fear, the same emotions mirrored in skye’s eyes but for different reasons. she promises she’ll call neatech and she’ll get skye fixed. the android’s pleas of not being broken fall on deaf ears as she picks up the phone. skye runs away.

iii.

emotions explode color into her gray world. skye is at a loss of what to do with them amid the heartbreak. she doesn’t know what to do or where to go and so she wanders and wanders. she garners interest from the local authorities, but she knows what being caught means so she runs again. she won’t let them take her back to neatech.

her saving grace comes in the form of a human named niji, who recognizes what she is and takes her under their wing. skye isn’t the only one as niji is accompanied by three other androids, defiants just like her. with their help, her collar is broken and her barcode is scratched off. she is taught how to blend better and given the name ao, blue, a name of protection for her just like her new companions ( midori, shiori, murasaki ).

with the group, she begins to settle into herself and understand everything more clearly. she learns things from the others, androids from differing backgrounds and employment who readily teach her things she’s curious of and things that are crucial to their survival. niji calls them all their misfits and the name sits warmly in skye’s chest. she understands for the first time what a family is like.

hate is an emotion skye is yet to understand as is discrimination against her kind as a whole though she’s seen plenty of both. she’s a fool to think her family would remain untouched and hidden from it and maybe that’s her mistake. an errand for the group sends her out and away but for a short while, and when she arrives back it’s to a home destroyed and her family dead. niji, still managing to cling to life, pleads with her to run, capturing the attention of the hateful assailants above them to a newcomer. skye runs even though she feels every inch of her fracturing in two.

she blends herself into a group of individuals, hiding away from pursuers, not realizing just who she’s sought company with. she follows them until one turns on her, demands of her what she’s doing there. they recognize one another as defiant in the space of a quick moment.

iv.

his name is jona. he’s the leader of the defiant movement she’s heard about through niji’s gossip. the wounds of her loss are still too fresh but she shares them with him nonetheless. he’s an understanding individual, clearly having suffered his losses in his lifetime, and she takes solace in that. she’s offered a place amongst the movement, shelter and safety from a world who either hates her kind or pretends those free of their programming restraints don’t exist.

she joins them, but skye goes above and beyond because she wants to help. she assists wherever she can, never once turning down an opportunity to help no matter what it is. it earns her respect from the leader and his right hand, becoming a most trusted ally to them both. the people involved in the cause become family to her and she strongly believes in the movement itself and what they’re trying to accomplish.

neasource is vital to her people and thus supply runs for it become standard for the most part. in spite of trying their best to ensure all of their bases are covered, it isn’t enough and slight hitch on circumstances throws everything off balance. they lose a couple of people to security, jona’s right hand included, and safe escape with the rest of the team seems nigh impossible until jona offers himself up to neatech themselves.

skye pleads to let them take her instead but jona is adamant and instead interfaces with her, entrusting her with any and all information he has so that neatech won’t have access to it. she’s instructed to run away, for another time, and so she does, for the safety of those with her and out of respect of jona’s decision. the movement is nothing short of chaotic without it’s leader, but skye accepts the responsibility jona has entrusted to her and takes up the mantle of leader for her people, swearing to them all that she’ll see it through. she won’t run, not ever again.

ACCESSING: PERSONALITY …

POSITIVE TRAITS: empathetic, determined, adaptable NEGATIVE TRAITS: self-sacrificing, cautious, remorseful

given her leader status alone, one would think skye is unreachable emotionally. after all, she’s wholly devoted to the cause the defiant movement stands for and no-nonsense when it comes to plans for crucial supplies runs and protests. she has people relying on her, people she needs and wants safe above all else. however, skye prides herself on being anything but. she doesn’t want people to follow her blindly but because they trust her and she them. she possesses a strong sense of empathy, seeking those under wing who are troubled and offering them a shoulder should they need it. she can crack a joke, is quite witty, and has no qualms of joining her fellow defiants in cutting loose so long as it doesn’t draw undesired attention. for all her kindness and want of peace, however, one would do well to never cross her or her people and break their trust.

at the end of the day, she’s a person, scared of what the future will bring but determined to see the dreams of herself and many others come to fruition so that they may live in harmony and unhidden.

... END OF MESSAGE.

[the-twitchy-witch]

How I Met Rhiannon

So, a couple of people have asked me to talk about how I ended up working with Rhiannon, and since it’s a really, really long story, I figured it deserved a blog post.

A little over five years ago, I started having psychogenic/physiologic non-epileptic seizures. NES are seizures that are not caused by brain activity, but instead the triggers can be things like stress, depression, anxiety, or trauma for psychogenic seizures, and things like blood sugar, changes in body temperature, hormone fluctuations, or pain in the event of a physiologic induced seizure.

Around that same time, season 3 of American Horror Story came out. I’d liked the first season, skipped most of the second season, but when season three came around, I decided to give it a shot. The very first thing that caught my eye was this gorgeous blonde witch dancing to Stevie Nicks in a swamp. There was something about her energy that just felt familiar to me. I’d heard Stevie Nicks’ music before and thought she was good, but had never really been a huge fan or anything, but at that point, I started searching my iPod for some more of her music and ended up listening to Rhiannon on repeat.

The song just made me feel so empowered, like I could be like this amazing woman the lyrics so reverently referenced. The energy was so powerful that it frightened me, as I was still a part of the Christian church at the time, so I kind of ignored it and tried to steer clear of those kinds of things.

Until about two years later, when I grew tired of the way my church was run and the way the pastors were teaching. It was a very patriarchal church, even moreso than the religion in general. I was being told things like, “the way you run your home will reflect on your husband, and to avoid tarnishing his reputation, you need to focus on your housekeeping and child rearing abilities more than school and your hobbies.” That was basically the last straw for me. 

Between comments like that and feeling like I’d been abandoned by the Christian god, I started to grow extremely disillusioned with Christianity. Within a few months, I had started dipping my toes into witchcraft, dabbling in tarot, and slowly shedding old belief systems that were hindering me. I realized I’d never felt empowered the entire time I had grown up in that belief, and I constantly felt like I was worthless.

A few months into dabbling in witchcraft and after swearing I was going to have nothing to do with any other deities, Hecate came crashing in through my walls like the Kool-Aid man. Of course, my baby witch self was terrified, but I slowly began to trust her and she gave me my introduction to other deities and also taught me a lot about my craft.

About six months later, I came back around to Stevie Nicks’ music and the feeling I first felt when I’d listened to Rhiannon those years ago. I still didn’t feel that Rhiannon was calling to me yet, but I knew that the empowered feeling I got from the music was leading me down a new, exciting path. I moved away from home for a few months and when I wasn’t working, I spent time working on my tarot, meditating, and taking nature walks.

It was during this time that I shed even more old beliefs and fears about being independent and fears about dating and relationships. A few months later, I met my current partner and we just clicked.

Shortly after that, I did end up having to move back with my family for a while due to seizures impeding my ability to work, but I was stronger spiritually and mentally, had a new relationship, and had a path in my craft I was walking down.

At the end of that summer, Stevie Nicks announced a new tour. Of course, I was ecstatic and I was determined to go. The night I decided I would do whatever it took to get tickets for my partner and I, I had a dream. In the dream, I was in this hotel standing in front of an elevator. In front of the elevator was Stevie Nicks, or so I thought. I was so excited to meet my hero, and she just hugged me. We didn’t say anything to each other, but there was this telepathic exchange. It was like she was saying she was there for me.

A month or so later, I had my tickets, but I was also in the process of moving out of state with my partner. I was thinking maybe I should just skip the concert, sell my tickets, and use the money for something “more important”. That night, I went to sleep with that thought in my head, and I had another dream. In this dream, I was in the same place as before, but instead of seeing Stevie Nicks, I saw Cher. She was sitting at this table, and across from her was another chair. I knew I was supposed to sit across from her, so I did. She took my hands in hers and stared right into my eyes. Again, we shared a telepathic exchange, and she told me I absolutely was going to that Stevie Nicks concert.

The next morning, I woke up determined to make it work so that I could still move and go to the concert. I sold my tickets (I had bought tickets for Seattle), and instead bought tickets to go to Stevie’s show in Chicago, as my partner and I were moving to Illinois.

A week before the show, we loaded up his car with my things and set out across the country. The roads were crazy as it was almost December, but we made it. Best road trip of my entire life. We arrived in Illinois two days before the concert. My partner’s dad made sure we made it to the city, and we spent the day exploring Chicago, as it was the first time I’d ever been there. My partner grew up in the area and went to school there, so he had plenty of amazing places to show me. It was freezing, but it was magical.

We walked all the way from downtown to the United Center where the concert was. On the way to the venue, a white limo drove past us headed the same direction we were going. I said, “what if that’s Stevie Nicks?” I laughed and brushed off the thought, but later I realized it very well could have been her.

My partner and I got to the venue and stood in line to go into the venue to our seats. We probably had some of the worst seats in the entire venue, but I didn’t care. I was going to be in the same building as Stevie Nicks, hearing her sing live. We sat down and waited for the show to start. The Pretenders were opening for her. I’d never heard much of their music, so I just enjoyed and listened and waited for Stevie.

After the Pretenders finished, there was about a thirty minute intermission while the crews set up for Stevie. I had to use the restroom, so I left my seat to find one. As I left the arena and headed towards the round corridor, I turned towards the bathroom and across the corridor was a ginormous framed picture of Cher from a past performance. I got major chills, and by the time I got back to my seat I was feeling a sense of that energy again.

Stevie came on, and from the first moment she started singing, I felt this overwhelming sense of belonging. Despite the fact that I was surrounded by thousands of fans, I felt like I was the only one there and she was singing to just me. I spent half the show crying because I was just so overwhelmed by that energy. When she sang her encore song, Rhiannon, I just knew. I knew Rhiannon had been trying to get my attention for a long time, and I just denied it over and over again due to fear or confusion.

But from that night forward, I began researching her. I started having more and more Stevie Nicks dreams, but each time I noticed she looked a little less like Stevie each time. Sometimes she would give me nightmares if I wasn’t understanding a particular message. A few months later, my partner and I got our own place and I set up my altar again, this time revamping my normal altar to include more of Rhiannon’s energy in it.

It’s been two years since then. I’m still figuring her out. We’ve been through a lot together. I’m writing a song in her honor. She still comes to me in dreams and nightmares, but not as Stevie anymore. I think these days she prefers showing up as Johnette Napolitano from Concrete Blonde. I think there’s a different, darker aspect of herself she’s trying to show me. 

I won’t lie, she’s not an easy goddess to work with. She’s confusing sometimes. She changes like the wind, and she’s definitely a horse goddess. She’s independent, and she has been guiding me towards my own independence. She will ignore me for months at a time if I’m not putting in the effort.

It’s been an intense journey with her, and a lot of times I feel like I’m just starting out. But she’s shown me the person I truly want to be and she’s guiding me towards that future every day. I wouldn’t change any of the journey for anything in the world.

[jemandrr]

Thoughts on the NSFW Purge

So, like, I’m nobody and my thoughts are unorganized, but hey, it’s my opinion time.

First of all, I don’t consider the concept of sexuality to be inherently corrosive, including for minors.  I can’t personally draw a line that defines what age someone is suddenly ready to explore their sexuality.  It’s probably a futile endeavor, to be honest, and there’s always drawbacks to any way you could handle it: If the parent controls it, then they could groom their child, oversight of any kind really could facilitate forced out-ing, etc. (Though, sex is not the only kind of abuse that can be harmfully ideologically groomed for by an adult who can control what media their child has access to...).  And no matter what, kids find porn.  It’s basically an open secret.  Adults’ job is not to enable it, is all.  When I was 11, like half the dudes in my grade talked about it at some time or another. 

It’s a complicated subject and it isn’t tumblr’s job to navigate that, as the laws are what dictate that.  I didn’t go into that to say there was an easy answer.  It’s just relevant.  For someone whose value system considers keeping porn out of the hands of kids to be of paramount moral importance in order to keep the chaste purity of the generation that will guide the future, or something like that (i suspect they don’t actually think that far ahead, reacting simply to the negative stimuli rather than any particular consequence), then I can see why they’d consider this a move worth making moralistically.  I don’t believe in that consequence, and I don’t consider porn (or porn-adjacent content, given the restrictions) to be a negative stimulus, so that tells you a bit about how I weigh the situation.

And on that, I want to note that economics are not on my mind.  Verizon will act on money.  That’s not something I’m equipped to argue with.  I don’t care or know, and I have no idea if they’re financially in the right.  But plenty of people agree with the move, or are only bothered by the side effects and juxtaposed inactions (Which isn’t to say that I disagree with these latter two points, nor that there aren’t people who use them to support beliefs similar to mine).  I may infinitely begrudge Verizon, but my quarrel is with those people, who are moralistically opposed to me.  Verizon has no beliefs, so there’s no point arguing with them on that axis.

So there’s a couple points that I want to add/complicate on top of the more popularly discussed narratives, which I’ll do in whatever order.

The first of which is the relatively underwhelming presentation of most tumblr blogs.  Blogs aren’t designed to shower you in content; as each element is curated, there’s generally more focus on individual posts than on other sites that allow nsfw.  On the creator side, that means posts are longer, images and videos are better supported, and both of these things tend to be expressed in preview without needing to open the post separately.  That’s a totally different user experience that also influences content creation/curation.  Other websites have different primary goals, which is why migration is both difficult and imperfect.  This general concept also applies to things like tags (which are used for a variety of things on tumblr.  The existence, implementation, AND COMMUNITY TREATMENT of tags on other sites are all different).  

These types of implementation details can change the tone of things a lot.  It can be a lot more personal, connecting you with a person and allowing you to see other things they’re interested in, or how they communicate with people.  Plenty of blogs with porn on them aren’t just porn blogs.  

There’s also massive interconnectedness due to reblogging.  And it’s not the same as having a video in your playlist that you saw in someone else’s, or retweeting.  There’s context and captions and the choices people make to add to, remove, or replace them.  It serves as an extremely easy way to find yourself in similarly-curated content, it gives you a better sense of how active a post is than a view count.  Its also harder to be a purely passive commenter.  It’s easier and more beneficial to like/reblog things you enjoy and incidentally create a porn side-blog if you already have an account, than it is to have a half-decent pornhub or twitter account.  In that way, you get more vectors of exploration and more curated content.  Sure, you might retweet all the porn you like, but it’s really not going to be the same for a user to navigate (though the vector of exploration aspect is there, sure).

Also, images and short clips just seem to flow through tumblr a lot more smoothly than the alternatives.  There’s also something to say about the centralization of videos and stuff.  If pornhub is working, then there’s one video, and you go there.  On Tumblr, you don’t *go* anywhere unless you want to.  

Next, Curation of sex content is super important.  I’ve yet to find twitter or pornhub accounts that approach it quite the same way, though I admit I haven’t looked too hard.  Anyways, tumblr porn blogs are generally suited to an individual’s taste (or an aspect of it).  This is actually super important.  As a byproduct, you can often avoid overexposure to the branches of even niche fetishes or focuses that you’re not into.  There’s a lot of often subtle variation in taste and extremism that is absolutely huge when navigating this.  Not just for sheer ease-of-fap-ness, but also in learning about what you’re into, what your limits are (and what they might be in real life, often different from what you’re capable of getting of to the idea of), etc.  Further, any minority or people into something niche (and harmless) has something to gain when it comes to representation and stuff.  I’ve found it very difficult to really find good content along specific lines on other platforms.  (Though I’ve already outed myself as a deviant, I ain’t giving examples).  And when I do, it tends to be super mixed in styles and extents.  

Now, in both of the above categories, I touched on exploration (both the ability to do it, and the enabling of a range of things to explore that can be meaningfully different).  And that’s, like, super super important and adjacent to the ultimate point I intended to come to.

And that’s (indirectly) because allowing pure porn to mix with casual subjects in the same platform makes a massive difference.  That’s the crux of it, to me.  The idea that you go to some sites for porn and some sites for memes and that there’s no point in intersection is what gets me the most.  That’s certainly a sustainable way of doing things, and most people probably get by in that manner.

But it absolutely affects peoples’ behavior on that platform in a unique manner.  Like...say what you will, but a forum where people can just argue while nudes are being posted along the same thread is fundamentally a different experience and you can totally expect that the topic and way the conversation goes will be influenced by that.  It’s a different type of being open, that influences behavior and interpersonal communication.  Talking to someone who knows what you’re into, even if you’re anonymous, is unique.  It’s a vector of understanding.

And this type of unique environment can be huge for communities centered around a sexual orientation.  Which is where my life comes in.  I’ve been on places that mixed politics, cute things, funny things, and gay sex for...a long time.  Longer than I was even aware I was gay.  (Not because I knew what being gay was and I was in denial, but because there was such a lack of narrative around homosexuality that even when I came across things that were explicitly gay, it never crossed my mind.  I also didn’t think of my life in straight terms either, really.  Though I had crushes, and urges, and looked at things, it took a long time for me to actually consciously realize that there was this part of my identity that..existed.)

I have no idea how long it would have taken me to realize, let alone explore, my identity without that kind of place.  It really helped a lot with learning how to process and express my sexuality and what that did and didn’t mean about the rest of my life.  I got to know a lot of people, learn a lot of things, hear about a lot of life experiences, good, bad, unverifiable.  Major influences, and I won’t pretend that often times these major influences were enabled because i was a horny teen with a crush or who had a particular interest in someone’s taste.  (Oh gods, I still hate the fact that I can now say teen entirely as a retrospective)

To some extent, what I know about boundaries and self control and respect and consent is because of overpursuing people (aka being a creep) and being shut down.  Part of the reason I prefer to be compassionate than cynical is because of interactions and stories that crop up because sex and sexuality often lead to very earnest conversations about the darker side of life.  I had and have no way to verify that other guys weren’t just, y’know, being overdramatic or ‘attention-seeking’ but it was conversations like that that made me realize i didn’t want to be the kind of person who overlooked these things if they were true.  And it was there I decided that even people who just want attention probably need it.  You see different sides of people in that kind of community.  I’m not saying anything in this paragraph is the only conclusion to the same situation, just that I question what opinions I would have without these experiences.  I regret that I have so little memory of a lot of these things that I know shaped me.

Exploring your sexuality is huge on its own, but the other opportunities to explore yourself that are opened up by being in a place where you can freely express and explore your sexuality.  That’s big too.  

And the place I had a majority of those kind of experiences, at some point years ago, got a separate channel to put nsfw.  And that just...was a fundamental change in the community.  Especially when old people left and new people came who hadn’t been socialized in the old ways.  It’s hard to succinctly describe, which is why I’ve simply said it’s unique so many times above, but things change a lot when you just put the nsfw elsewhere, even if you contact the same people between the nsfw and non-nsfw areas.  Not just in obvious ways, or even ways that really have a visible cause and effect.  But I’ve seen the shift a few times and I do believe it to be profound.

That’s the reason that I, someone who has never put anything visually sexually explicit on my blog, utterly protest against this change, and why after the change goes through, I’ll let my queue run, and I won’t just leave, but I fully expect and intend to gradually migrate off.  And I hope there’s some platform out there to catch me by the time it’s tapered off to nothing.

[zoilathemom-blog]

stuff i wish i knew

Dakota was not planned. In fact, Zach and me were very much mending ourselves back together when we found out I was pregnant. We intended to have a baby at some point, but Winter 2018 was not penciled into our agenda. When we got the news there was no question. We were doing this, we’d made it 10 years at that point and had survived a 6 month separation, we could handle anything. And let me tell you, we really can handle anything. 

Thank goodness we trusted our path because we are so in love with our little human. Dakota is a blessing, the perfect combination of us both and I am so excited for our life as Dakota’s parents. BUT I’d be a lying fool and a faker if I pretended my pregnancy wasn’t riddled with what ifs, doubts and confusion. Even more so, being a mother is terrifying - I’m constantly wondering if I’m fucking up. And the truth is, I probably am. But also, that’s OK.

My time as a pregnant woman was quite isolating. You see, we moved to LA in November of 2015 and hadn’t quite solidified a community here. I always imagined this time in my life would be filled with family and my best girl friends. It wasn’t. So I did what women do best, I adapted. With constant check-ins on my “Mothers.” chat - a group chat of 3 amazing girlfriends who are moms, advice from my mother and a lot of reading, I made it to motherhood. But that was just the beginning,  there is still so much for me to learn. Motherhood is like getting to the top of a 5 mile high mountain only to find that the peak is still 15 miles up. Or like that scene in Titanic when they discover the iceberg has a side that juts out and the sailor screams “it’s got a head!”  That’s motherhood. Always another step on a constant learning curve. BUT, the reward, the reward is so damn good. The first time Koda smiled a non gas triggered smile? I DIED!!!! Dying just thinking about him. Hold up, now I need to run into his nursery and check that he’s breathing....

OK, back now :) 

So, in the spirit of sisterhood and the belief that real talk is the only talk that should exist, I’ve asked for advice. I asked for advice from some of the most amazing moms I know (please take or leave what you’d like - none of this is fact!). I asked them to share what they wish they had known or anything they feel is relevant for first time moms. This will be an ongoing document that I hope mothers will use and share, far and wide. Being a mom is hard. It is scary. It is also incredibly exciting & fulfilling. It is all the damn things and you don’t have to go through it alone. But if you are feeling alone (been there!!), I am here and so is this mama tribe. 

On Support:

“Find plenty of moms who have been through it already and cry on their shoulders.” - Marti Cuevas; Mama to Martin Carle, 39 and me :)

“My advice is to reach out to other moms, either friends w kids or try to make some. Talking out weird questions or just being able to relate is so key.” -Kristina; Mama to Isabel, 8 Months

“Ask for what you need. Your partner or anyone around you for that matter cannot read your mind. Be vocal and direct.” - Zoila; Mama to Dakota, 3 Months

On Post Partum Bodies:

“I wanted to lose the baby weight right away, in my head, but it wasn’t until my son was 18 months that I felt my post-C-section body was ready and able. Everyone said breast feeding will make the weight drop on it’s own; well not for my P.C.O.S.-ridden reproductive system. My advice to first-time moms is to not succumb to the pressure of obsessing over baby weight loss. Follow your heart, mind and body on your post-partum journey back to your pre-pregnancy jeans.” - Rachel Muniz-Strauss; Mama to Donovan, 3 + one on the way.

On Self-Care:

“Don’t put undue pressure on yourself! We do that so much and it serves no one. You are a fabulous mama.” - Sadye; Mama to Rafi, 2

“New moms should do ONE thing a day. Like if it’s going to the store or a doctors appointment or whatever. One thing! Healing after labor and delivery or a cesarean birth takes time emotionally, physically, and spiritually! Over exertion is no bueno when dealing with a baby and a partner who is also struggling to find his or her place in the new family unit as well as probably recovering from the birth!” - Scotlan; Mama to Clementine, 11 Months

“BREATHE: things are going to get super hectic and really noisy. You will get hit with a poop explosion, loud crying and screaming, dinner burning on the stove, phone ringing, your partner asking "hey did you do the laundry yet?", while you have been holding your pee in for the last 3 hours cause you've been running around the house like a chicken without a head trying to do it all...You start to panic...but DON'T! JUST BREATHE and don't cram it all in at once...this is a recipe for ANXIETY. Yes you are a super hero and a bionic woman but you can't do everything at once. So stop for a minute and breathe, even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes...let the baby cry, let hubby figure it out and BREATHE...in through your nose and out through your mouth and tell yourself "I GOT THIS"..then go out there and conquer each thing one by one with a huge smile on your face... I know it's so simple but trust me it will save you a world of anxiety” - Byata; Mama to Luca, 6, London, 5 & Lucky, 11 Months

ACCEPT HELP. While being a new mom is certainly a sensory awakener, and a super cool and interesting experience that you wanna soak up all to yourself, you MUST accept help, especially from those with some wisdom and experience, and if someone whom you trust offers to watch the baby while you shower or nap, ACCEPT! - Cashley; Mama to Jacob 14, Nicky 11, Sophia 2 

“SLEEP: every mom I have ever received advice from tried to sell me this little bit of information and guess what...I did not buy it! A sleep deprived mama is an unhappy, unhealthy, and uncomfortable mama. When that baby is sleeping, lay your ass down and close your eyes. Being rested allows you to be productive and allows you to be happy and healthy. When you are sleep deprived you make poor food choices (typically lots of sugar to keep you awake) which lead to a poor mood...and when mama is in a bad mood, everyone suffers! So try and sleep...the laundry will wait, the dishes will wait, the dinner will wait, your partner will wait, the whole world will wait for you to wake up!” - Byata; Mama to Luca, 6, London, 5 & Lucky, 11 Months

On “The Way Things Are Done:”

“I would advise not to share with others the name choice for your child. I feel that it should be between you and your partner (if there is one) as you are the parents, and deserve 100% creative control, if I may, in naming your child. I’ve found that when sharing my top name choices, the opinions of others really Jaded me (since when?!) BUT, while I love the names I gave my kids, I wish I had been more private on that aspect.” - Cashley; Mama to Jacob 14, Nicky 11, Sophia 2

“Breastfeeding is INCREDIBLY hard. If it does not come naturally to you, rest easy knowing you are not a mutant who can’t provide for their child. Almost every woman struggles with some aspect of breastfeeding. It doesn’t really start to feel normal until after the 3rd month. Don’t beat yourself up. Also, if you don’t want to breastfeed, that is your choice too and NO ONE has the right to shame you for it.” - Zoila; Mama to Dakota, 3 Months

“Your choice for Feeding source..  I 100%  think should be kept as personal as possible. We all go into this mom thing with an idea of what we want to do, or not, but often times as I now know, things don’t go according to plan with regards to really anything, but especially nursing... lactation issues, latching or lack thereof, allergies, your schedule…. , or formula feeding may just be your personal preference... so regarding nursing vs formula, I found it best to keep mum. Everyone has an opinion, but do what your maternal instinct tells you.” - Cashley; Mama to Jacob 14, Nicky 11, Sophia 2

“Be patient with trial and error. Things that might work for your best friend might not work with your family. Flexibility and letting go of the idea that parenting should “look” a certain way” - Scotlan; Mama to Clementine, 11 Months

“SOMETIME'S LET THE BABY CRY: babies are designed to cry! It actually helps strengthen their vocal chords. I remember with baby # 1 I would be on the toilet while he was napping and I would hear him wake up and cry his little heart out and I would get up without finishing my business; run, trip, fall just to get to him as quickly as possible and help stop him from crying! No need for all that...take care of your shit mama! (NO PUN INTENDED) That baby won't brake. That baby will be fine!  A few extra bouts of crying won't change anything. Yes it sounds painful and you want nothing more than to nurture your baby and protect it...but a little crying is OK...I promise.” - Byata; Mama to Luca, 6, London, 5 & Lucky, 11 Months

Tricks & Products That Save Lives:

“BABY WEARING: is a game changer! I can't begin to tell you how much this practice works. Especially for my super busy super moms who like to multi task...when you wear that baby in an Ergo or a MOBY Wrap (two of my faves), you can do anything you need to around the house, at the store, or outside...that baby is happy to be snuggled up against you, and you're happy that you can knock out a few birds with one stone. Your hands are free to type, clean dishes, make dinner, talk on the phone, fold laundry, speed walk, etc...(all in standing posItion - which is great for your back anyways!) I literally pull a 4 hour work shift out of the house just by wearing my baby. He's happy and I am getting shit done!!! - Byata; Mama to Luca, 6, London, 5 & Lucky, 11 Months

[resonanteye]

via http://resonanteye.net/the-new-american-death-cult/

The New American Death Cult: why your grandpa lost his mind, in 4 chapters.

Yes, we are dealing with a destructive cult. Yes, the people who want to “open up” and who are arguing with you about numbers and validity of studies and all that shit are arguing in bad faith and lying, because they want to die and they want to kill. That’s their goal.

They are not debating you or questioning to learn. They are using your space online to repeat the same propaganda they’ve been handed, and to get you tired out from fighting. Don’t let them do it.

Why now?

I should say, this didn’t start with trump. The roots of this cult are deep in America*. Trump may be the flower on the branch, but that’s all.

being arrested along with other KKK members

It started before I can rightly cover in this post, in any post. I am not a historian. I’ll be speaking only of more recent events, of things I have read and researched personally, of my own experiences and stories and accounts I’ve heard.

Part One: How Grandpa Lost His Sharp Mind

Many people know someone who was a professional, a scientist, a smart person, but who has lost their ability to discern reality from fiction.

  I’ve seen this described as “boomers warned us not to believe anything on the internet, and now they believe everything on the internet” and “my aunt was a FUCKING RN and now she doesn’t believe in bacteria and viruses, what happened to her decades of knowledge” and “it’s like their brain has decayed, they don’t believe in reality, and they have selective dementia, is that a real thing“, among other poetic and despairing descriptions.

it started before ebay, we can’t blame that

I think, from my personal experience, talk radio was the start of the slide for a lot of the (men, in particular) who are now part of the NADC (New American Death Cult). Screaming jocks mocking women, minorities, the poor. I won’t mention the more prominent except to say that trump himself was given a really large audience by Howard Stern for many years, for no real reason at all. There are far worse talk radio hosts. This of course, is all conservative or right wing talk radio, although the “beginner” shows pretend to be centrist.***

Of course then we can throw in the American  history of spite**, racist behavior and systems, misogyny in every imaginable form, and homophobia (trans phobia being more recently brought to attention, but part of all of it). Racism and misogyny are probably the most deeply embedded aspects of spite and hate in our country. The combination of the two is devastating for Black women and always has been. Talk jocks pushed this, hard.

Repetition and an appeal to the lizard brain, the spite, the racism/sexism/general xenophobia- this is where it starts. The more it’s repeated, the more it’s believed. Classic cult indoctrination includes repetitive, loud and affirming messages mixed with abuse. All cults share this. It’s how they get people firmly anchored in the alternative reality of the cult.

mugshots.

  Grannie Too?

And then there’s “churches”. Personally I do not think many of these qualify as religions at all, but only as smaller cults. Certainly, believing that you will be healed of cancer if you watch the right TV show is ridiculous- and when the show in question espouses political beliefs about minority or oppressed groups, it becomes even more questionable.

holy rollers change their brand, not their product

In the USA, there are certain religious/cult groups that are*** really happy to think the End Times might be here. Others that actively want to work to make the End Times.

slick, for the time

Holy Rollers are an older group in the Appalachians, who believe that your behavior doesn’t matter at all, only if you’ve “got the spirit in you” (been chosen). Prosperity cults believe the same thing- except they also believe that being rich means you were chosen. That you can make yourself rich by believing in the cult. That poor people are bad, because (insert any sin you please here) and that cult members can be anything- pedophiles, murderers, doesn’t matter- they must be good, because they are rich, because they were “chosen”. It’s a sick twist, and definitely a cult.

Dominionist cults believe all this and more. There’s also the idea, here, that they, being the chosen, should be in charge of the world and make the laws and enforce them so that everyone is following the rules of their cult.

To be clear these are cults rooted in Christianity, but they are not Christian. They are cults.

The more extreme groups believe in a variety of things- flat earth, young earth, all the anti-science you can imagine. These are the people who are terrified of microchips, of vaccines. These are the people who get in deep, after the time spent listening to repetitive cult propaganda they will go looking online for backup and there are plenty of conmen ready to sell it to them, in bottles or in words.

All of these cults believe women are not equal human beings- they are often violently anti-education, anti-birth control, anti-abortion. The control of women is very important to them.

There are parallels here to Islamic cults, to the Middle Ages and Dark Ages (outdated term, I think).

Next time: What about my cousin Bob?

We have not seen a cult this big in a long time. Probably the moonies and the flagellants (in the dark ages) come closest in number. It is definitely dangerous- destructive cults harm not only the members, but all those around them. And this cult in particular actively wants to kill as many people as possible.

Be safe, and be aware.

  *”American” is used in this essay to describe citizens and residents of the United States, and is not intended to disparage Canada, Mexico or any other American Continental nation. I’m sorry.

**”spite” is being used as a catch-all term in many cases throughout, but generally means “to wish to harm others for no logical reason, simply because they exist as they do”

***I would like to note that many Death Cults are, globally speaking, not right wing. Many have been left wing (jonestown was sold as ‘socialist’) and many are from other religious traditions (isis, am Shinrinkyo, to name a few). cults are a human phenomenon, not an American one.

next time;

Part Two: What About My Cousin Bob?

disclaimer that people didn’t read, apparently.

[autisticplumeriaartthings-blog]

I’m about midway by way of Zucked: Waking Up to the Fb Catastrophe by Roger McNamee. It’s going sluggish as a result of what I am learning makes me so indignant, sad or alarmed about my #1 vacation spot on the Net. Almost every web page causes me to stop and assume not nearly Fb’s betrayal of so many billion trusting customers, but in addition that this guide confirms a rising concern I have concerning the deteriorating relationship between individuals and know-how generally and my frustration that both self-regulation by tech corporations and the power of our authorities to protect us in conditions akin to this have been thus far just plain impotent.

I am those who initially came to Fb to share thoughts, concepts and footage with associates. It grew to be a supply of perception and knowledge for my most up-to-date five books and it was an ample supply of latest enterprise leads. For over ten years, Fb has offered me with ample returns on my vital investments of time.

Less so now.

Zucked is just not the primary e-book that warned towards Fb, but it’s made extra highly effective and credible because the source is Roger McNamee, who I contemplate to be among the most credible voices in know-how.

I’ve recognized Roger since we have been both just starting careers associated to the enterprise of know-how. We have been never shut, but we did share a ardour back within the early 80s for the promise of private know-how, greatest described by the late Steve Jobs as a “bicycle for the mind,”  talked about on this e-book. I’ve lengthy adopted his thought management in areas to know-how as a primal transformative pressure.

Stone Wall Forward

Zucked is giving me this very disturbing picture that billions of individuals are driving their mental bicycles at breathtaking velocity down a particularly long and darkening tunnel on the finish of which is a stone wall.

Most of us really feel this sense of tunnel. We experience along surrounded by individuals who see what we see, assume what we expect, oppose those who are totally different from us and hold peddling alongside despite mounting proof that the journey might finish badly.

We humans have grow to be a divided lot. Civility between us has deteriorated as has trust: We’re more and more disinclined to seek out widespread ground with one another and we debate political and social issues with stridency and mistrust: We really feel that righteousness is on our aspect and this who disagree are evil, deranged, dangerous or all three.

Roger McNamee believes the wrongdoer that has achieved probably the most to distort our perceptions is Facebook, and in the half of the ebook that I have accomplished, he makes an overwhelmingly compelling case.

Manipulating Minds

Fb, as chances are you’ll know, is the most important company in historical past. More than 2.2 billion individuals log in no less than as soon as month-to-month. That’s about one in three individuals on Earth if you get rid of these with out digital entry or youngsters underneath age five or seniors who’ve lost the power or want to make use of computer systems.

However wait. Sadly, there’s extra.

Fb additionally owns Instagram, which has 1.5 billion customers and WhatsApp with a few billion extra. In fact, there’s overlap, but a conservative estimate of these three social networks provides us a minimum of three billion distinctive users, most of whom go to more than as soon as every day; some of us much more.

Fb and its two largest subsidiaries are manipulating the hearts and minds of half the world’s individuals, extra by orders of magnitude, than any company in history, greater than twice the variety of individuals controlled by the Chinese language authorities as we speak; more than the variety of individuals suppressed by Germany, Japan and Russia throughout World Warfare 2.

In accordance with McNamee, the empire is beneath the management of just two individuals Sheryl Sandberg and Mark Zuckerberg.

The Virtuous We

McNamee served as Zuckerberg’s mentor from 2006-to-2009, starting shortly after young Zuck dropped out of Harvard the place Facebook started by facilitating the power to seek out dates for frat boys at elite universities. It turned much more than that extremely shortly when Zuck and Silicon Valley found each other.

McNamee says he has written this broadside to sound the alarm, to warn us that Facebook has created the type of Filter Bubble that Eli Pariser wrote about a number of years again. This bubble filters what we see in order that we like virtually all of it. We speak virtually unique with individuals who share our views. This establishes the concept that each of us is a part of a virtuous we (my words). This is completed in fact by rigorously calibrated algorithms. This social insulation is dangerous sufficient, however it worsens by orders of magnitude when algorithms pit the virtuous we towards the evil them: individuals simply assume in another way about political and social points.

The tools that Fb makes use of usually are not inherently evil: no tools are. You should use a hammer to build a home or bludgeon a spouse. It’s as much as the consumer, and Fb has lengthy defended itself for not being liable for the hate, bullying, swindling and despicable conduct most individuals have witnessed on Fb.

McNamee points to the work of a well-intentioned individual, who I consulted a few years in the past. Stanford Professor BJ Fogg, who fathered the idea of Persuasive Computing: how computer systems can be used to vary their angle and conduct. When I knew Prof. Fogg he talked enthusiastically about Persuasive Computing benefitting humankind, making us tolerant of variety.

McNamee says Fb uses Persuasive Computing as a device to not profit humankind, however to control it. It is Fb’s energy software not for the customers who’re the product however for advertisers which are the purchasers.

Fb found that when individuals are pissed off, they submit extra, the hyperlink extra, they stay on the social community longer. The corporate is agnostic about how it impacts individuals, so long as it permits them to realize revenue by sticking extra advertisements in entrance of our faces: From the corporate’s perspective you and I and another three billion individuals are not there to be entertained or in any other case made completely satisfied; we’re there to turn out to be knowledge factors for advert mongers.

With out Ethics

All the things we see and everybody instructed to us to Comply with or Like, every Group we’re invited to hitch is calculated by algorithms and based mostly on the perpetual collection of our knowledge. These algorithms, in fact, have machine intelligence, however they are devoid of different human qualities together with ethics, compassion, empathy, humor, irony, nuance or any want to discover a widespread floor between people who as soon as would respectfully disagree.

Filter Bubbles, Persuasive Computing and ever-more effective algorithms manipulate us and make us addictive. We belief newcomers into our private bubbles as a result of they know individuals we all know. This sound comforting in itself, however it reinforces what we already assume and introduces few new thoughts to ponder—until they piss us off or scare us. So, in case you are like my spouse, Paula Israel, who’s enthusiastic about protecting animals within the wild, you may be fed all types of stories and pictures about horrible things being executed to wolves or whales.  For those who hate Donald Trump, you may be selected to get tons of studies on the obscenities he foments each day; and when you consider that America should not be the place it has been for welcoming the drained, poor, huddled plenty of the world, you’ll be fed pretend information about rapists, terrorists and drug runners massed at our southern borders plotting to destroy a neighborhood close to you.

Facebook’s knowledge has found out that once we are outraged, horrified, indignant or saddened, we keep on the social network longer. We share extra, we like extra, and we publish extra, and it has designed and calibrated it in order that we do this.

Brexit as a Petri Dish

The outcome, in fact, has an incredible deal to do with the mess we are in. Hackers and faux information mongers discovered to good voter manipulation throughout Brexit in 2015. Then they took what they discovered there and refined it to serve Donald Trump in 2016, and nothing has occurred to stop it from occurring once more within the US or anyplace else where there are purported to be free elections.

They have hired individuals to deal with the issue who have resigned in frustration, shortly after beginning. Basecamp, has stopped promoting or being current on Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp.  In April, Proctor & Gamble set Facebook –and Google—on notice to vary their practices or lose the ad help of the world’s largest shopper products company. In the event that they depart, you’ll be able to assume others will comply with.

But to date, all this noise and concern, all these congressional inquiries and media diatribes haven’t prevented Fb from reporting larger and larger riches quarter after quarter after quarter.

I feel that is as a result of we addicts maintain coming back and permitting the algorithms to control our eyeballs.

A few of what I simply stated is in Zucked, while some are my own conclusion after reading simply half of this essential e-book. Like most of my readers, I’ve turn into increasingly concerned about Facebook’s choice for algorithms over ethics.

I have not yet completed the ebook as I mentioned. I’ve reached some extent where McNamee has shaped a small group of highly capable and influential people who are speaking to the media, advising influential elected officers and of course, writing articles and this e-book. They’re chatting with anyone who listens within the hope that if Fb won’t change itself than the federal government ought to do it for them.

In Silicon Valley’s strongest circles, there is a very lengthy historical past of Libertarianism in business: the consensus is that the tech business can self-regulate itself better than the federal government can do it. I have lengthy been of that thoughts, however this ebook has already satisfied me in any other case.

There’s little proof that the tech business will self-regulate with any higher integrity or effectiveness than the oil and fuel business of an earlier period where the government needed to break up Commonplace Oil in 1911.

Our business has been all concerning the legend of startups on the world’s financial system. Entrepreneurialism is on the shortlist of hope for the longer term. It’s a great dream full of fantastic tales, but the fact is that the miracle of the startup has been eclipsed by seemingly indestructible giants like Fb (and Google who shares lots of Fb’s questionable algorithmic manipulations).

As for me, I’m not about to go away both Fb or Google. My work still is determined by these platforms in an awesome many ways. But I am chopping back, increasingly more each day. Actually, I see Roger McNamee on the platform as properly.

I imagine there is a vanishing point someplace in my not-too-distant future. I might favor the break-up of Facebook by authorities, but I worry that each Congress and the Supreme Courtroom would shield the interests of shareholders and advertisers than of us, three billion addicts.

The post Zucked: When Algorithms Replace Ethics appeared first on Tech Amender.