#and I'm just sick of dealing with it

[inficetegodwottery]

I have so many people telling me to play Helldivers 2, and yet every time I tell them I just don't like the vibes of it and I played the first game and didn't like the satire, I get told I'm just not media literate enough, and that I obviously don't just get satirical treatments of overwhelmingly evil ideologies.

I've been a 40k fan since I was eight, and I've had tons of great friends and cool people into warhammer my whole life. I have dealt with countless fucking dipshits who were either outright fascists or /pol/-ass cryptofascists. I have also dealt with countless people who assume being a fan of any warhammer property is a mark of being a cryptofascist. Both of which are exhausting douchebags.

I'm also a fan of Starship Troopers, specifically the movie version that's a direct fuck you to the original author, and all the deconstruction and exploration of political propaganda that franchise has been able to put out over the years, especially its satire of the U.S.'s involvement in the Vietnam and Iraq wars.

In both of those communities, we have to constantly deal with the fact that parody (or really any portrayal) of an authoritarian ideology inevitably attracts real life fuckwit brainwashed members of that exact ideology who are all-in gung ho enthusiastic about the fictional authoritarian ideology of the setting. I'd like to think we do a good job. I'd like to think for every pasty teenage asshole screaming slurs at Eldar players, we've got ten more rational and emotionally mature folks who understand it's fiction.

So for a while I was inclined to re-examine my experience of the first game, and potentially give this new one a shot with the same caution and "media literacy" I apply to Warhammer and other games where you actively play as the villains.

...but then I actually looked up discussions of the game, and it was truly astonishing the number of times I saw supposedly levelheaded fans of the game shouting slurs (like libcuck K***), saying shit like (This is just another gamer gate/SMH why are there no straight pride flags), and typing stuff like "Kite Yams Street" at people who dared expressing their concerns at how the community actively glorifies some of the stuff in the game.

What really fucking disappointed me is how many upvotes and people agreeing with them there were, even on the main Helldivers communities.

As an example, from just a handful of Steam threads. (AND THEY ARE ALL FUCKING LIKE THIS)

These are some of the least gross examples I could find.

Virtually any topic on Reddit, Steam, Twitter, or Discord that even mentioned fascism indirectly becomes an absolute shitstorm, with Helldivers fans actively arguing with both people who think the game fails as a parody, AND with people openly, unironically, and EXPLICITLY self-identifying as fascists.

Because saying this game about authoritarian dystopia is attracting authoritarians is stupid and bad. There are no authoritarians in our community.

But also remember to tell the authoritarians in our community that they're stupid and bad.

I have to conclude that the Helldivers community is just instinctually hostile and dismissive to people who are in any way uncomfortable with the premise or delivery of the satire or the state of the community. "Stop putting politics in our political parody game!" I guess.

If your fandom is actively in a pitched civil war with openly avowed fascists within your community, you are not "just a parody," and it's extremely immature and hypocritical of the Helldivers 2 community not to openly admit to this issue and address it without screaming invectives at people who are scared off by it the same way Warhammer, Star Wars, and Starship Troopers have been able to in the past.

So let's just say now I don't feel bad in the slightest for being completely uninterested in Helldivers 2 anymore.

If I wanted to get slurs yelled at me over voicechat by a bunch of 20-something MAGA CHUDs I'd just reinstall Mordhau or Call of Duty. That I'm used to.

But it's one of the most depressing things in the world to get yelled at by self-identified leftists just cause I said a mean thing about their funny new Not-Starship-Troopers game and how it might, possibly, have attracted some of the exact sort of people they supposedly oppose.

[kotaki]

"If I don't get a juicy scoop soon, I might just live!"

[deservedgrace]

The lack of understanding and empathy for cult survivors is really alienating. Because the same people that (rightfully) get upset hearing domestic violence jokes or rape jokes will make jokes about starting a cult.

[eddis-not-eeddis]

I need some prayers. My health is really bad right now, and i might lose my job.

[tofuthebold]

how's tekken 8 going for everybody?

[uncanny-tranny]

In discussions about mental health, I am so tired of the only voices mattering being other people or other people who do not deal with a condition/disorder or a specific situation.

"Here's how I deal with loved ones with [x] condition!"

"If you do [y] because of [x mental health reason], you're selfish and everybody who loves you is having their lives made harder by you!"

"If your symptoms are [z], you're gross, and you deserve no sympathy for struggling"

I understand to an extent why people do this, but holy hell, as somebody who struggles and struggles often, the last thing any of us need to be told is that we're a burden that others have to carry. And it's terrible how everybody else's feelings but ours matter - even if we are the ones most affected by our condition or situation.

If you are dealing with issues surrounding your mental health and well-being, know that everything above isn't true; you are worthy of patience, understanding, kindness, and love. You are worthy of being listened to without judgment. You don't have to apologize or "make up" for who you are or what you struggle with.

[lastoneout]

Just met a unicorn(doctor at the urgent care who was like "yeah sounds like you have an autoimmune condition I'm referring you to a specialist for that right now").

[youngpeachenthusiast]

the funny thing is people will claim that they don't mind you being physically present at events but not actively participating until you tell them that you are happy to be there, just unable to actively participate in activities. then suddenly it's not okay anymore and actually "it's okay on the daily but we'd expect something more on this event, otherwise it's just boring"

feels yucky. i enjoy just being there in company and watching them do stuff, and it really is painful to know that they feel me being unable to participate in their activities is apparently boring and apparently makes it useless for me to even show up lol. i'm so tired.

[softleesam]

<3

[holysaintscathedral]

Cishet men are so intimidated by female sexuality, it's honestly so pathetic and sad. Come to think of it, they're intimidated by ANYTHING remotely womanly or feminine.

[tcmmykinard]

ngl i really fucking hate it when people (my aunt in this case) compare mine and my siblings traumatic loss of our mother, particularly my 18 yo brother, to having her mom move to a different town without her when she was 25 and basically saying that my we need to just grow up bc she understands what it's like.....

her mom is still alive and almost 80 but yeah. totally the same fucking thing. just grow up and move on. sure can do.

[softquietsteadylove]

Okay I’m glad we can cry about the vow au together, because if Thena’s going to keep remembering things when her sweet and precious Gil makes her a treat I might just never stop asking for it 😭 would love to read more, whatever you think comes next i’m happy to read!!!

"Sweetie?"

Thena looked up from her pillow. She looked particularly miserable, which made sense; she had never done well when sick. "Hm?"

Gil stepped into the guest room with his tray in hand. He nudged the door closed before setting it down on the dresser, "how are you feeling, hon?"

Thena blinked her glassy green eyes at him, "I'm sorry to make you take care of me like this."

Gil just shook his head. She had no memory of him nursing her back to health when a flu took her down hard after their first trip together. Her first cold with him as a couple when she kept insisting he couldn't see her with her runny nose and blotchy fever skin. Even when she had some bad periods that could make her growly.

She thought of herself as a real lioness, but he couldn't help but think of a plush, ragdoll cat who kept hissing at him.

He leaned forward, kissing her clammy forehead. "I think your fever's broken, at least. Did you get a little rest?"

Thena just nodded, pulling up her knees under the covers so he could sit on the edge of the bed. "Did you apologise to Ajak for me?"

"Hey, come on, people get sick, it happens," he chuckled as he patted her knees. "I have some time off to use, and she understands. They can do without me for a few days."

"I don't know how true that is," she muttered as he retrieved the tray. She straightened her legs again so he could stand it up over her lap. "Your customers will be missing out on your perfect croissants."

He grinned, offering her the mug of tea first. "And my seasalt vanilla fours?"

Thena's smile turned soft and a little shy. He was elated, though--ever since their first date and their kiss, he had been excited to see how they would continue to progress their relationship.

"Here," he whispered, adjusting the platter he had brought with him. "I made you some homemade chicken soup, nothing too heavy. I boiled the chicken in the broth, like Hainanese chicken rice. I gave you a little side of rice if you wanna dip it in the broth, but don't force yourself. Some cucumbers, but they're not pickled because I don't think it's good for you if you're sick--I guess I don't really know."

Thena tilted her head at him, her hair rustling against one of the many pillows propping her up. She kept insisting she looked awful, but he thought she looked as beautiful as always. "Thank you."

He sighed a little, trying not to make it obvious that he was mourning a time when this would be natural for them. But he adjusted the little cilantro flower he included on her napkin, "in sickness and in health, right?"

Thena's expression changed, but she gave him one of those gorgeous smiles that used all her teeth and picked up her spoon, "I suppose you're right."

Gil looked around the room, standing to pick up the extra blanket she had picked off in her sleep, as well as some pajama changes. It was hard to tell how messy she could be at times based on the polished appearance of his wife, but he liked picking up after her (most of the time).

"Gil?"

He looked back at her as he folded up the blanket. She had her big sad kitten eyes on again. "What's up?"

"You're not going to sit with me?"

His face split into a grin, even if she seemed a little sheepish about it. He knew it wasn't something she would ask easily, and obviously she had kind of just let it slip. But he all but dropped the blanket and threw himself onto the bed again. "Of course I am."

Thena settled against the pillows again after he gave her knee a squeeze on his way to lying on his side to face her. "Did you eat?"

"I grazed while I was cooking," he excused easily. He'd had some rice and a few pieces of chicken, mostly concerned with getting the flavours right for Thena's weakened state.

Thena eyed him, nudging the dish of rice he had specifically described as optional, "I won't eat it all anyway."

That was true, she tended to eat less in terms of the starch of any dish. Gil chuckled, "okay."

Placated by him picking up the rice and using the chopsticks, she continued using the spoon to sip the broth. She was delicate about it. It reminded him of the first time they'd gotten ramen together--she'd held her hair back while taking delicate little bites the whole time. He'd found it unbearably cute while he'd guzzled his back in minutes. Of course he ordered another bowl so she wouldn't have to eat alone.

Thena's eyes watered a little, but he squinted. Was it just the general sickness, was it her fever coming back, was there too much ginger? She sniffled, putting the spoon down. "I know this taste."

Ah, his sweet wife. He put the rice down gently before reaching for her hand. "I make it for you every time you're sick. You know how to make it too."

"I do?" she asked, staring at him as if he'd suggested she knew rocket science. "Me?"

"Yes, you," he reached out to tap her nose, but she leaned away from him. "All you do is add the aromatics to the pot with the whole chicken, even you can do it."

"Hm," she remarked quietly, staring at the meal she couldn't believe she would be capable of replicating.

"I made it for you the first time you were sick when we were dating," he continued, picking up some cucumber for himself. "I surprised you with it, showed up at your doorstep--very romantic, y'know."

She gave him a look, definitely knowing that she - in the story - hadn't appreciated being ambushed.

"You told me I shouldn't have and that you looked awful, but I couldn't have been more in love with you," he sighed, fluttering his lashes at her. She rolled her eyes, but he could see her smiling just a tiny little bit. "I delivered this dish and we hung out a little. You told me I would get sick, I said I wouldn't, and you were totally right, I got sick the next day."

She tilted her head the other way and raised her eyebrows at him, unimpressed to say the least.

He shrugged though, still grinning. "But I didn't want to admit it, so I told you I was healthy as a horse and couldn't make our date that week because of a work emergency."

"Deceitful," she murmured, pursing her lips at it.

"Come on, just a harmless little lie, y'know," he pursed his lips right back at her, even hitting her with his own sad puppy eyes.

She looked back into the bowl and took a loud sip. He would take that as him being forgiven. "I remember you coming over."

"Really?" he sat up straighter.

She nodded, taking another, slower, quieter sip. "No one had ever done that for me before. I was so astounded. And the food was so good it made me want to cry."

"No crying," he whispered, keeping his eye on her now, watching for tears. Not that it wasn't a chef's dream to have people cry from their food, but this was different.

"Kari called me to ask how I was doing," she smiled more at the memory as it came to her. They were coming more often and at greater length. It was nothing if not encouraging. "I told her that this very sweet guy I was seeing brought me some homemade chicken rice. She practically slapped her phone in her hurry to tell me to 'lock it down'."

Gil made a face, stroking the hair on his chin, "she's wise."

Thena shook her head at him again, but he could tell she was falling for his charm all over again. "I suppose I followed her advice, didn't I?"

So much came to mind, but Gil leaned forward to kiss her forehead again, which continued to feel cooler to the touch, "I'm lucky you did."

Thena leaned into his affection. She had gotten more used to it as they continued to explore their relationship, and he really had the feeling that she was looking for more sometimes. He would save that for a time when she wasn't ill.

"You keep eating," he encouraged, moving the rice closer to her again in hopes of tempting her.

"But-"

"I'll get a bowl for myself and come right back," he promised, sealing it with a wink and everything. His wife gave him another look of feigned exasperation, but she was already waiting for his return, preciously clutching her rice to eat with him.

[landgraabbed]

sometimes you gotta take in the lil details

[god-u]

me when i'm fucking delusional

[wyrddogs]

This puppy would be easier if I wasn't sick all the time. I got him with the expectation that I would be at my normal energy levels, which is plenty to manage his energy levels.

Instead I'm operating at 80% max (but often 50% or lower) and I still have to deal with a young, rambunctious, physically powerful puppy with high exercise demands.

[woundposting]

.

i had to take a beta blocker today because my heart rate wasn't slowing down and i was able to go to work but then i came home and literally felt like i was suffocating 🧍‍♂️ my heart rate was absolutely fine but i felt like i was running out of oxygen and was going to die. it took two hours for it to pass. never in my 7 years of anxiety have i felt so weak and such strong physical symptoms. i'm so full of life and i had so many plans and i keep getting my hopes up that it'll get better soon but it isn't and there's literally nothing i can do except waiting and coping with it