#not pro ed but recovery talk /neg

[softleesam]

<3

[pienhime]

this has been on my mind a while (and i think its one of the main reasons the overseas menhera comm is almost dead) but i think that what is "anti recovery" vs what is "pro recovery" vs what is considered those things on social media are very different.

"pro recovery" isnt "dont talk about the ugly side of your illness, dont vent, dont make art thats graphic, and ur not allowed to just exist unless ur constantly every day making the effort for improvement and trying to prove it thru what u post!! and ofc, dont be negative!! uwu medical motifs ONLY in menhera so you dont romanticize", its "do what you need to do to survive the day. use art to cope with your feelings, talk about it, you are allowed to exist and while getting better is a noble goal, its okay to just survive right now".

"anti recovery" isnt just... having a restrictive ED, a self harm addiction, or using drugs, its not "ugh i feel like giving up", its not making fucked up art or talking with others about the more intense of your issues and posting damage reduction. its not making aesthetic textposts to vent out your feelings and urges so you dont actually do the bad thing. it is not anti-recovery to struggle with those things, but it is ableist to shame people who struggle with them. what IS anti-recovery is actively encouraging others to cut deeper, lash out at their loved ones, sending suibait to people, and peddling the idea that making progress in recovery at all makes you less yourself. its okay to vent ab wanting to do those things and feeling those ways, as long as you arent actually encouraging others to do them. but assuming that every coping mechanism people have thats "problematic" makes them a horrible person is anti recovery as hell. we are mentally ill, of course some of us will cope in ways that arent ideal, but its better than nothing.

yet people in mental health spaces somehow have totally changed the meanings of the terms, just like they have with "glorifying" and "demonizing", so that its harder for those of us who struggle with highly stigmatized things to have a place. it almost feels like these "safe spaces" demonize and stigmatize people with EDs, active self harmers, and drug users & addicts more than the outside world sometimes. we are treated like we are somehow problematic for having those symptoms, and as anti-recovery if we dare to talk about them.

and most of all, if you go into mental illness related tags... dont bitch and moan when u see someone acting mentally ill you fucking weirdo

[drdemonprince]

While we are on the subject of eating disorders, I will once again send praise at the book Saving Our Own Lives by Shira Hassan, as it’s the first book I’ve ever read to apply a harm reduction framework to eating disordered behaviors. 

Nearly every available piece of writing or scholarship on the subject of eating disorders assumes that a goal of recovery should be imposed on every sufferer whether they like it or not, and takes an abstinence based approach. this frankly does not make any sense, given that such a large number of behaviors and choices humans engage in on a daily basis can be wrapped up in an eating or excessive exercise disorder and ripping them all out of your life at once to attain a state of abstinent ‘recovery’ is impossible. 

this is even more true when you take into account the fact that for many people, eating disordered behaviors serve many purposes. the book really helped firm up my own slow but steady realization that walking long distances each day, which i used to do as a form of excessive exercise was also a great autistic stim. it also provided me a satisfying way to zone out and drench my mind in podcasts when i was miserably lonely and consumed with compulsive negative thoughts. 

my almost religious adherence to a daily walking schedule was eating disordered, of that i have no doubt. but it also gave a structure to my day and got me out of the house. in addition, my tireless exercise habits & eating restrictions were one of the few areas in my life where i have always felt comfortable expressing my boundaries.i might not have felt comfortable telling people not to touch me or not to speak to me in a certain way, but i always had the courage to tell someone i wasn’t going to eat something that i didn’t want to or that i needed to leave a function early so i’d have time for my exercise. 

i also now realize that i have a very obsessive, ruminative mind, and fixating on numbers like miles walked was actually a better outlet than some of the other places my mind often went back then. eating disorders are one of the most dangerous and deadly mental health diagnoses around, so i dont say this lightly. it was still a less damaging outlet than some of the others i was flirting with at the time. my long ponderous hours of over exercise i found a lot of space and quiet to just simply think my little thoughts to myself, and a lot of that went some good places ultimately. 

in an abstinence-only view of eating disorders that posits a person must only and always strive for “full recovery,” acknowledging the positive role an ED played in my life is not allowed. and that kind of binary thinking simply isn’t helpful, because my needs for physical stimulation, and time alone, and a means for expressing my boundaries were always gonna be there, and needed an outlet, and would find one of some kind no matter what. 

over the years that i was not well, my eating disorder behaviors shifted, becoming less physically destructive while still scratching the psychological itch and not being “great” in a black and white sense. was walking long distances every day great for my health from a recovery or abstinence pov? no. but it was a lot better than what i did before. i had much more dangerous ED behaviors before that.  instead of feeling ashamed of myself for having “backslid” in my recovery and still resorting to such methods, 2014-2015 me ought to have just been proud of myself for finding a way to meet my needs that wasn’t as destructive as the ones that had come before, and actually had a few side benefits.

i have not seen many people at all talking about EDs from a harm reduction pov and i think that it is desperately needed. online, all we see is a lot of well intentioned encouragement to make a ‘recovery’ that comes with many prescriptions for how a person ought to be living and what they ought to want. if you are still active in your eating disorder and not committed to recovery, then, the toxicity of the pro-ana and pro-mia spaces is the only place left to turn to, and that makes matters so much worse. 

i wish we could develop the online, eating disorder equivalent of needle exchange spaces for people who use intravenous drugs and have no plan to quit. spaces where people can discuss strategies for mitigating the harm of their ED without being admonished for not valuing recovery yet, or ever. so much trauma is done in the name of forcing people to get ‘better’ when they don’t want to. 

liberatory harm reduction is all about embracing an individual where they are at and not imposing an external value system or set of goals upon them, trusting that they are the only and ultimate authority on what they do with their body. and this does not just apply to drug use or sex, it applies to what we typically call eating disordered behaviors too. people with eating disorders often have a fractured sense of selfhood and autonomy, and institutionalizing them against their will or forcing them to eat certain things or to not exercise just further reinforces those issues for them much of the time. 

 im very happy to be recovered from an ED now, but for many years i did not want to be recovered, and the recovery-fits-all approach to the disorder meant i lied to every medical professional i ever saw and all of my family and friends. i wonder what an explicitly harm reduction rooted approach to living with an ED would have looked like for me. 

[chained-to-the-mirror]

I looked through my notes and apparently last time I sat down to write my thoughts was in February. I had been struggling with my body image and had a nasty nightmare. I’ve not had very nasty nightmares now, but the body image thing is ever present.

I recently bought swimwear for the first time since my early teens. (Let it be noted that I’ll be 43 in a month.) It was inspired by a friend who is coming to visit and wants to go swimming. I was so nervous to even try on a swimsuit… but I did it. I now have two swimsuits/swimwear. I wonder how it will be to actually go out in public wearing them - not easy, probably, but hopefully it will be at least somewhat enjoyable in the end.

Also a new thing is that I’ve been wearing shorts now. It’s almost 30 degrees here and suddenly I’ve noticed I don’t care what others think. I even wore an almost sleeveless top! Who am I?! I think this is due to age, and running out of fucks to give. I mean, does anyone really care what I’m wearing? I don’t think so. I just want to be as comfortable as possible. 

I’m putting my outfit from yesterday here - I would never have been able to wear this a year ago, no matter how hot it got. I’m surprised at myself. Also shocked at how comfortable I was eventually! There was no panicking, no distress. I see all the flaws, but it just matters less and less. I undoubtedly sound like a broken record, but I’m just so surprised.

I don’t think I would be at this point without my dear friends. They keep me sane, truly - and they never seem to get tired of shooting down my negative self talk, which matters more than anyone would guess. I love them all very much.

Another thing that’s helping is plants. I’ve become a full time plant parent, and it feels good to see things growing under my care. I’ve never been able to really do this successfully until now. I’m currently sitting on my balcony, surrounded by my green babies, and I feel calm. It’s no small thing, to feel calm! The plants also help me practice being patient. My huge tomato is testing me - there are so many flowers, but no fruit. Not even beginnings, apart from one that’s smaller than the tip of my pinky. I’m told it takes time, but I just worry. I am doing my best though, and that will have to be enough.

I don’t know where I’m going with all this, except nowhere. I suppose this is my blog, and I can go nowhere as much as I wish. I was going to write something the other day, but when the time came, I found I had no words anymore. Much like now! But I was thinking a lot about my active ED years for some reason. I used to be one of the moderators on a pro ana forum - one of the nice ones, one that helped me keep myself together for a long time. I was close to several people on there - I wonder where they are now? I kept in touch with a couple even after I was discharged from my first hospital stay, but these days I have lost contact with them. I hope they have found their own ways out. We were all sick, and brought together by being alone in our respective sicknesses. 

I kept a journal on the forum - it was full of misery and wallowing, so I’m sort of glad I have no access to it anymore. In fact, I don’t even know what became of the forum after I left. I’ve tried to find it again, but nothing comes up on google at least. It was always a very private, invitation only forum. Everyone supported everyone, in both sickness and recovery (whichever way any of us went at the time). I think I’m - ironically - alive because of those girls. (I say girls, because it was all girls. I think there may have been one boy at one point, but he was not very active.)

It’s such a weird experience, and I can’t really explain it to anyone who hasn’t been a part of a place like that. I tried to explain it to the nurses and the doctors at the hospital, but I don’t think they got it. They saw it as harmful, and probably fairly. In fact, the whole thing made me realize how futile group therapy would be for eating disorders. It can go wrong in so many ways! I’ve only had personal therapy so I can’t be sure of course, but it just feels suspicious. At least for me. I think that you have to be mostly in recovery to really be able to get any help from a group. I think that I might be able to, now - now that I’m mostly recovered. But of course it’s not something that’s available for me anymore. The EDs are not even in my diagnoses - not the main ones anyway. You’d have to dig pretty deep.

I guess this is what I wanted to get out. I’m not proud of my involvement in a thing like the pro ana movement, but I can’t fully bring myself to be sorry either. These things happen for a reason, and the reason was to keep me alive. I’m grateful for that.

It’s time to stop writing. My plants around me are telling me to wrap up the day, and they are right. I only need a shower and then I can fully relax. Thank you to anyone who read this, it’s a mess!

[rabbid-rabbitt]

Milo ☆ Young adult ☆ Any pronouns except it/its

Queer FTM boygirl - polyam taken by 2

MSN autistic pf-DID system + chronically ill powerchair user

I like psychology, Sanrio, nature, animals, poetry, various arts, jfashion, Melanie Martinez and I'm getting back into witchcraft!

I am an OEA/TBMC/RA survivor and talk about the ugly symptoms without warnings. I am actively deprogramming with a specialist.

DNI MINORS, NSFW, GENDER CRITICAL/TERF, ZIONIST, PRO SH/ED, RADQUEER, PRO/COMPLEX CONTACT, HEAVILY INTO DISCOURSE! I block very liberally!

was unholy-plague

> Don't drag us into any discourse, we are neutral on majority of it because it's likely a nuanced topic. I'm pro neopronouns/xenogenders/etc.

> Never call us plural, multiple or use you& for us. We use parts/alters and alternate between I/we.

> Socialist leftist, intersectional feminist + environmentalist, freedom for all

> We are in mental health recovery and paying attention to world issues has an extreme negative impact on us so we don't post about it however we try to have some awareness on what's happening.

[boneappletits]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

──☆: about this page !!

☾ TW !! this page includes discussion of ed’s, mental illnesses, sh, r3lapse, and other triggering topics. continue with caution, lovelies.

☾ please do NOT report ! if you find my page triggering i beg of you to block me instead !

☾ this page is pro-recovery !! if you are in recovery please be safe & i recommend not interacting ♡︎

☾ not a proana page nor will it ever be.

☾ i will not post tips, b0dy checks, th1nsp0, m3ansp0, or body stats, etc.

☾ absolutely no racism, homophobia, anti-human right beliefs, transphobia / terfs, pedophilia, fatphobia, ed glorification, sexism, ableism, xenophobia, bigotry, religious extremism, etc. (this is in no particular order.) just don’t be an asshole. any negative individuals or energies that represent or emulate the above will be blocked and reported.

☾ 14 and under DNI please and thank you

☾ please do not copy my posts OR reblog with pro ed #’s ☾ *if you have minors DNI in your bio & you interact with me i'm going to interact with you*

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

─── ☆: introduction

☾ name : sav/savvy

☾ age : 17

☾ pronouns : they/she (non-binary)

☾ tropical sun sign : aries

☾ sexuality : asexual ambiamorous lesbian ☾ misc : INFJ-T

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

☾ ps ~ feel free to ask me anything !! i love talking to y’all and getting to know your beautiful souls. i’m a little awkward but once i get comfy i’ll ramble your earthly ear off

[saiko-kosai]

hey there,

this is my study blog, and i'm creating it to (1) motivate me and (2) to share my mental health

some things about me:

i'm currently a senior in highschool doing university classes

i want to go into psychology, but i don't know what field exactly yet :)

i have ocd, social anxiety, depression, and a sprinkle of adhd - i've had experiences with eds and sh, but i'm pro-recovery and trying to recover myself! i'm always open to talk about these things if anyone needs help, but please don't encourage any negative behaviors.

i love poetry, music, writing, art, video games, harry potter, and reading

DM's always open!

[n0toverit]

ed vent acc, general very acc but tw for ed ofc

not pro any disorder, i fully support recovery just not rlly for myself rn, any negative talk is toward myself only not anyone else <3

not new to this kind of space, was on here very young (9-15) then moved to edtwt(15-18) which i ended up getting rid of, tried tiktok space very briefly but not rlly my thing so i’m back here!

i post so much like just brain dumping all the time

20, 5’6/167.6cm

cw: 142.4lb/64.59kg (nov-dec??? 2023 i’m scared to check)

lw 128lb/ 58kg :/

cgw 135lb/61.2kg

gw2 125lb/56.7kg

ugw 115lb/52.1kg

[antiradqueer]

Just a heads you should be careful about any links sent. Could be IP-grabbers or malicious sites (I work in IT, and use IP grabbers in scambaiting). I know tumblr breaks them, but in general don't always trust links sent to you.

On a side note, I went through one and have something to say:

TransED is terrifying.

I have an ED and have for years. I literally have such a hard time gaining weight and I am underweight for my age and height. Like to the point if I exhale you can see my ribs in the right lighting and you can feel them.

An ED is realistically the one disorder type you can give to yourself, but it can kill you. That's not freedom. That's advocating for a very slow and painful death. With the amount of thinspo on this site and fatphobia people live with daily, transED is even more dangerous.

If you think you want an ED, please get offline and talk to someone with one that isn't pro-ED. Ask them the damage it has done to their body. Ask them about their relationship with food.

Even pro-recovery spaces are still fucked for us because some may even still encourage stuff like working out, which can just feed into an ED.

I was hoping that this wasn't a thing. I was hoping that people won't want to be like me because this is hell and I am trying to recover but I often slip due to my other mental stuff. Any transED shit can and will trigger the EDs of others and make their EDs worse. Seeing that will probably impact me negatively later.

yeah, ive had some disordered eating problems since i was a kid n im completely disgusted that thats something someone wishes apon themselves, i tend to avoid anyone who talks about it cus im scared it will do smthing bad to me

[tarot-tea-cafe]

Welcome To The Café

Im Bridger, i run @vapour-ofthe-moon, @pagan-witch-culture-is, and other blogs!

this blog mainly talks about tarot, herbs&spices, tea and witchcraft, but is open to discussing some other topics (just dont derail posts from their original topic please).

readings open please support me /nf

please dni if: (more to be added in the future)

youre a terf/radfem,

anti-mspec, including lesbians/gays.

anti-lesboys/turigirls

against any of the lgbtqia,

ant-recovery, or are pro-ana/pro-ed/thinspo or have weight goals on your acc

anti-agere/petre, sexualize such or think its anything other than a coping mechanism or for fun. (regression is strictly sfw)

anti-witchcraft, paganism, anti-Semitism/Islamophobic or support such

(pro)endo/non-traumagenic,

(pro)pedo/map, a kink/18+ only/nsfw blog or a discourse blog,

believe in "narc" abuse or villainize cluster b disorders,

romanticize yanderes or use/call yourself yandere but don't have bpd or old,

disrespect peopls triggers or them for their beliefs,

mock people for any reason(disabled, their interests etc).

that said, please have a seat at any table and feel free to ask questions!

Do You Do Tarot Readings?

yup! i dont consider myself the #1 expert but I'm happy to do single card readings for free. though i'd rather do spread readings for a commission as it takes my time, i now have it available on my kofi!

Are You a Practicing Witch?

yes! im a pagan witch who's been into the craft for quite a few years now!

i hope to share with you my findings on tarot, herbs and more!

i have an old grimoire post series on my previous blog but neither are active and i plan on remaking the series here later, so if you'd like to know more about my craft stay tuned!

Are Non-Witches Allowed To Interact?

Yes! anyone interested in any part of this blog be it tarot, plants or what have you is welcome so long as you dont cross my dni and arent disrespectful !

this is a safe space meant to be judgemental free, leave the negative outside the cafe door!

hope you enjoy yourself here!

Cafe Menu (#cafe menu)

~ Teas ~

1 . 2 . 3

~ Treats ~

~ Tarot Readings ~

- daily pull - card of the month (example) - yes/no reading - about tarot cards - spread readings

~ Herbs/Spices ~

1 . 2 . 3

~ Bridger's Grimoire ~ (#bridgers grimoire)

tags:

-#cafe menu -#anon customer asks / #customer asks -#all about tarot -#all about suits / #all about the suits -#cafe treats / #bridgers recipes (subject to change) -#herbal facts with koi -#bridgers grimoire (not official, subject to change)

to be updated

[tinylittlebab]

call me bambem (bahm-beahm) / he/she

if you are new here or in recovery please leave! you dont deserve this, please recover!

active jan 2024

i may have an ed but im not pro and i fully support recovery. fatphobia directed at others will not be tolerated here. having an ed is not an excuse to be a dick to fat people just trying to live their life.

if you post or rb fatspo or posts talking negatively about fat people as a whole ( as in, not directed towards yourself) i will block you

i am pro recovery for everyone, just not in it myself. actually pro/anti recovery fuck off

stats under the cut

5'4" | sw: 101 - bmi: 17.3 / cw: 99.2 - bmi: 17.0 / ugw: 85 - bmi: 14.6

[the-anonymous-vent-blog]

tw for sh and ed

this is kind of awkward, i don’t really know how to do this cause i’ve never done anything like it before haha. basically i’m in recovery for an ed and it’s really really awful and i don’t have anyone to talk to about it. i’ve been put on a meal plan which means i’ve had to go from eating 1-2 times a day to eating 6-7 times a day. it’s been two weeks and i’ve gone from 45kg to 46.2. i know objectively that’s not a lot but it feels like a lot. i’m full all the time, i feel sick all the time, i’m bloated, i don’t want to go anywhere or see anyone, i’m bitchy to everyone around me and i feel like i could just break down at any moment. i hate this. i’m not pro ana, i cannot stress that enough, but i never thought i had it and i just don’t think it’s as big a deal as everyone else thinks it is. it’s gotten so bad that i had a sh relapse about a week ago, my parents don’t know about it. this whole meal plan recovery thing is supposed to help me but it’s making my life miserable. i just don’t know what to do anymore. and i don’t have anyone else i can talk to about any of this stuff, i have friends i think, but not the kind of friends where we tell each other this kind of stuff. plus i’ve been having various different mental health problems for a couple years now and i feel like it’s always all about me and i don’t want to always make it about myself, i feel like they’re probably tired of it. and i can’t tell my parents. i just want to be able to choose how i live but i can’t because if i refuse to do the meal plan they’ll put me in a hospital and the nearest one is two hours away from my family and friends. i just hate feeling like this all the time.

For the record, if you don't want to overburden your friends the doors here are always open to return to. I myself, have multiple online spaces to rant towards.

I also wanna say, it is exceptional that you've been able to follow your meal plan. From 1-2 meals to 6-7??? I think i'd die. I sometimes feel nauseous just thinking about trying to meet the 3-4 meals a day im supposed to be getting. Such a drastic change is absolutely incredible to keep up with.

You may be tired of hearing it, but it does really get better. Kinda like coding, fix one problem and a lot of new things pop up, but it's progress. With a large increase in food, you'll find you have more energy to do things. Your body needs a lot of time to adjust to this change, and reacting negatively to positive change is not uncommon when it comes to recovery. The human body absolutely detests being thrown out of routine. While sh is pretty bad, its not something to have a crisis over. You might need a way to take out this newfound anger(?). For me exercise works pretty well for getting me calm and making me less snappish, also helped me increase my appetite. Though it would be very difficult with bloating, it would also help with the feeling of being full all the time and help your body with the new influx of material it's getting. I'm not a medical professional though, so take my words with a grain of salt as your doctors might not approve of that. At the very least having some sort of punching bag would be good. Might not help, but it's something to try.

Don't forget some over the counter nausea medicine if you aren't already taking some. Doesn't really work for me but tea usually works to sooth my stomache enough.

[rabid-god-of-skin-and-bones]

Little intro I guess.

Call me Sebastian. I’m 20-something.

Blog name is from the title of a poem. If I find that poem again I’ll post it.

I’m generally pro-recovery but that’s a choice people need to make for themselves. You can’t force someone to be better.

Used to ★ve myself, then got better, a family member commented negatively on the weight I gained in recovery and now I’m back to my old antics.

Is there like. A discord server or sth for people I could talk about my new favorite artist “Ed, not Sheeran” with?

[cluster-b-culture-is]

Hello! Welcome to cluster-b-culture-is! This blog is run by two plurals who have cluster b disorders and who want to spread positivity and awareness for them, along with building a safe space for others.

As mentioned in the blog description, we will not be responding publicly to hate and negativity. It will either be deleted or responded to privately. Any discourse sent to our blog will be deleted as well; this is meant to be a safe place for personality disorders.

And, as a quick aside since we've gotten many asks about this, cluster B disorders are a group of personality disorders including ASPD, NPD, BPD, and HPD. There are two other clusters (cluster A and cluster C), but this blog is specifically focused on cluster B disorders.

Information, a discord server, and introductions are below the cut!

Do not repost posts from this blog without explicit permission and credit.

Information

- We support informed self-diagnosis and non-traumagenic systems. If you disagree with either of these, you will be blocked on sight. We do not welcome anti-endos and anti-nontraumagenics (A more detailed explanation of our stance here). We are also pro-tulpa and pro-nontraumagenic (p-)DID/OSDD systems.

- Exclusionists (transmeds/truscum, aspec-exclus, anti-mogai, anti-mspec lesbians/gays, anti-nonbinary lesbians/nonbinary gays/male lesbians/female gays, etc.) will be blocked on sight. Our identities are not up for debate.

- Others that we will block as soon as we see them: Flop/cringe blogs, NSFW/kink blogs, radfems (both trans-"inclusive" and trans-exclusive), anti-blm or don't see the problem with "all lives matter", MAPs, ED-focused main blogs regardless of if you are pro- or anti-recovery, actively encourage being anti-recovery for others, pro-lifers, pro-cancel/call-out culture, not anti-harassment, and right-wingers

- The symbol on the avatar is one made by one of the mods! Feel free to use it if you want, but we will not claim that it should represent the entire cluster b community--it was mostly just a fun thing to help represent the blog.

- You can do more specific things than just cluster b culture! You can talk about the intersections with other disorders, specific personality disorders, really just anything so long as it has to do with (a) cluster b disorder(s)! However, please make sure it is cluster b culture is (or some variant, such as NPD culture is or autistic cluster b culture is, etc), as this blog is made by and for people witch cluster b disorders.

- We also will not be posting any asks that don't have a "cluster b culture is" type thing at the beginning. If it's just a vent, we will not be posting it, and we also won't read it and it'll just be deleted. Sorry y'all, but if you want something posted, then we need the "cluster b culture is" style beginning for organization purposes.

- That being said, certain submissions may not be posted for the mods' comfort OR there may be a major delay before something is posted, often due to overwhelm, lack of spoons, or just plain ol' not being sure how to tag it properly. It could also be a case of the queue being massively full! We currently run at 6 posts per day, but we still have many posts in the queue. Often new asks will take at least a week to be published, even if there are no other delays. Feel free to ask us to tag certain triggers!

- Asks asking for personal advice will not be answered, certain questions (i.e., "What is an FP?" or "What is splitting?") may be answered, but it's not guaranteed. Please note that we are not professionals here, just two cluster Bs with too much time on our hands. This blog is a hobby, not a job.

- here is a link to our discord server! If you have a cluster b disorder, feel free to join!

- Here is a link to the cluster b song suggestions playlist! (The ask, that is)

Introductions

- Mod Reef is an endogenic collective with NPD and ASPD, plus a whole laundry list of other disorders such as autism, OCD, and some cluster A disorders. We use it/its and ze/hir pronouns collectively and exclusively, and will not talk about our headmates. We also wish to not be called a system, and rather we be called either a collective or a constellate. Feel free to ask if you'd like to know why. We're physically disabled and use forearm crutches, and we're hard of hearing.

- Mod Orange is a large DID system with ASPD and NPD. We also have a nice laundry list of other disorders because mental illness is “buy one, get seven free”. We’re very queer and use they/them, xe/xem, ze/zem, and vo/ven pronouns collectively and are totally indifferent to which of those people use. We’re chronically ill (and chronically online as a result) and Jewish. Open to answering most questions, but somewhat new to tumblr :)

Tags

@romo-aro-culture-is @ndcultureis @plural-culture-is @adhd-culture-is @autistic-culture-is @ocd-culture-is @disabled-culture-is

[failed-apple]

about me

im ari/apple and this is my vent/mental illness/ed tumblr

disclaimer: im currently not active since im recovered :)

im very much pro recovery, dni if you post pro ana content on here, dont have an ed or if youre younger than 14.

don’t report, just block me if you get triggerd/uncomfortable. this blog is not meant to promote eds/unhealhy behaviours. i just made it to have a place to vent, talk about my ed and feel less alone

if you wanna be friends just dm me just know that im really bad at keeping in contact through just texting so if you want just ask for my discord so we can talk in a vc. also if youre on 🥞 dm me please:]

im transmasc and ace. pronouns: he/it and neos, for example xey/xem, ze/zer, etc:]

TW: eating disorders, self harm, substance abuse, talk/jokes about suiside, derealization, other mental health releated topics (plus swearing and occasional nsfw stuff)

ive got autism, ✨cronic depression✨, anxiety disorder (gad), adhd?, an ed (undiagnosed tho), tourettes and chronic pain

and also im dyslexic so dont fucking correct my spelling i dont care how youre supposed to spell shit :]

dni if you dont have an ed, if youre a terf, transmedicalist, rasist, homophobic, transphobic, abelist, map/pedo, support/post thinspo, fatspo, meanspo or any kind or "ana motivation", (this is not the place, there are forums for that), or if youre in any way mean or creepy on here

Dont reblog my posts with ed tags

remember that its never too late or too early to recover, if youre considering to start recovery please do it and aks for help, i belive in you(:

and please send me asks(:

my carrd just incase i get t-worded:https://failed-apple.carrd.co/

my backup: @failed-rat

my tags:

#apple rants: my posts

#apple asks: answered asks

#apples gender stuff: trans posts

#apples so called art: what it says

#i hate it here: basically a /neg for my life shit (slight tw for abuse and transphobia and stuff)

#apples autism is showing: autism stuff

i try to not post too triggering stuff and i put tws for unreality, sui, sh (and other shit that might be triggering, eg substance abuse) but not for ed thoughts cause this is and ed account so dont follow if that triggers you. i dont post numbers, bodychecks or any -spo.

[active on and off]

[questioning-recovery]

Account info

I’m 18+ She/Her, AFAB, pan. Dx: ED/Depression/Panic Disorder/GAD/DPDR/Cardiophobia I am the child of an autistic mother and may be as well You can call me Rori. Proudly Appalachian, proudly pro-union, anti-work, and proudly anti-racist and pro-LGBT

This blog is NOT about recovery. It isn’t NOT about recovery either. Confused? So am I. I post calorie counts. I talk about and post food. I may talk about abuse of all kinds (including CSA and SA + rape) I may talk about past drug abuse and self harm. I may not give specific answers to certain questions as my fiancé has a very public career but that usually doesn’t come up or hinder most questions, so ask away. This blog is for me to come to terms with what recovery may or may not look like for me personally. Recovery to me means finding a way to feel comfortable in my body, minimalizing harm to my body, and working through thoughts, feelings and experiences I’ve ignored and pushed down for years.  Recovery to me does not mean simply gaining, that has never worked for me and just ends up with my having a quasi-BED for two years or so and relapsing. This blog is open to everyone of all ages. I don’t think anything I post is really pro-anything and nothing is overtly sexual that I post. You could just lie to me about your age or post whatever age you wanted on your profile anyways and I honestly don’t have the energy to dig through your profiles to figure out how old you all are. That said I hope what you take from my blog is how having an ED has negatively impacted my life, how it doesn’t just “go away” when you hit a certain weight, age, or point in your life. If you see something on my page that upsets you, message me privately and we can work to resolve it in a way that we both decide works best.