#and Nikolai is his emergency contact

[couronnez]

//@udovaintomyheart Thanks AGAIN <3

Now I want to write Medical Drama featuring Vasily. Anyone up for roleplaying that? I promise I WILL write a canon and modern fic about it, too!

[patrollingboston]

Hiya! Could you write a fic where we have to share a bed with Price?

Much love ❤️

An awkward conversation // Price x reader fluff

guilty pleasure one bed trope, this is not meant to be realistic!

After completing gruelling week on a mission, You, Gaz, Soap and Price were headed back to the pickup location to take you all back to base. The conversations being shared were short and snappy due to everyone’s exhaustion. Gaz was fast asleep snoring like bear and it was driving you insane. Soap had earphones in as Captain Price drove along the long stretch of road ahead whilst you were directing him from the passenger seat.

A loud crackle buzzed through everyone’s radio; Gaz snapped awake as everyone focussed on the voice on the other end of the radio.

“Bravo 0-6?”

“Price, you there?”

“What is it Laswell?”

Price held down the button on his radio whilst his eyes remained focused on the road ahead. He drove with one hand on the steering wheel occasionally looking over at you. Everyone’s curiosity was peaked as the mission was over, why would Laswell need to contact them now?

“Nikolai has a problem with exfil, his helicopter has needed some uh, um emergency maintenance. We can’t fly you back to base until tomorrow morning, can you all find a motel nearby just to rest up for a night?”

“Oh, fucking hell- “

Gaz groaned, Soap joining him. You flopped your head back against the headrest in protest. Everyone just wanted to go home, sleep in their own beds, eat normal warm food and be alone.

“Is there no other option? I think we all just want to be back ASAP Laswell.”

“Fraid’ not, earliest we can get to you is 8am tomorrow.”

“Alright, we will sort something out.”

Price said taking his hand off the steering wheel for a second to rub his temples, you glanced over noticing how tired his eyes looked. Everyone’s did.

With that statement the radio cut off. Everyone’s eyes were on Price as he was magically going be able to solve the issue.

“Well, what’s the plan?”

Soap chimed in, peeking his head round from the back of the car.

“There’s a cheap motel not too far, look we aren’t going to be there long. It’s already late, it’s just to clean up and get some rest. I know it’s not ideal.”

“I’m sure we can survive one more night, at least it will be warm?”

You spoke, trying to lift the mood of your fellow soldiers only to be met by awkward silence.

Price tapped on his phone to get directions to the motel. He was right about needing to clean up. Everyone was in their gear, dirt and mud were splashed over everyone’s clothes and face.

“I miss real food.”

Gaz said, Soap nodded in agreement as he began bumbling on about a restaurant near his house.

10 minutes later the car pulled up into the carpark for the motel. There wasn’t much to say about it, it didn’t look too bad from the outside but in your current state of tiredness you would sleep in a bed made of cardboard.

“Gaz, Soap go get us rooms, we will unload the car.”

Price ordered, Gaz and Soap split off entering the reception as you and him began lugging in everyone’s duffel bags. It was quite sparse, a few potted plants and a strikingly red carpet that frankly was hurting your weary eyes.

“Cap? They only have 2 rooms.”

You placed the bag down you were carrying and peered over to soap who was stood speaking to the receptionist.

Price sighed so loudly you could hear it from across the room.

“Well, we can go two and two, or we can take a chance on the other motel, think it was about 20 minutes away.”

You stepped over the pile of bags to join the conversation.

“I don’t mind sharing, please I just want to shower and lie down.”

You said rubbing your eyes, smearing the warpaint from earlier.

“Who goes with who?”

You suddenly felt everyone’s gaze on you.

“You pick F/N you’re the only woman here.”

“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?”

You teased as you watched Gaz’s face drop.

“No that’s not what I meant, c’mon.”

You weighed the pros and cons of each person in your head, quickly ruling out soap for how often he liked to flirt with people, that could never end well. Gaz was an option? But you recently discovered he snores and you needed sleep. That only left Price, your captain. You didn’t mind him, in fact over time you had grown quite fond of him despite his grumpy attitude and hat collection.

“I’ll go with Price.”

Price’s eyes widened ever so subtly; it seemed like he was taken back you chose him. His face quickly returned back to normal but you still managed to see the change in it.

A few moments later you stood outside in the hallway shoulder to shoulder with price as he wrestled with the dodgy room key.

“Sonofa- got it.”

He said before cracking a little smile and barging the door open.

You stepped inside looking at the (one again bright red) carpet laden with cigarette burns, you shrugged the bags onto the floor before going into the rest of the room and standing beside price who looked to be in deep in thought. You followed his gaze to find it.

One bed.

One bed that looks like it was made of concrete, with white ruffled sheets and 2 sad pillows.

Your stomach sunk, you had read about this in books and seen it in films and now it was happening to you.

You gulped loudly, praying Price didn’t sense your hesitation.

“I’ll sleep on the floor- “

He said sharply, it caught you off guard. What do you do now? Do you object? Do you share the bed? Do you let him stay on the floor?

“No, I know you’re just as tired as me, I don’t care, please.”

You said gesturing to the bed. He turned around and gave you a kind smile before he sat on the end and started removing his boots.

“I’m going to hop in the shower.”

He nodded as you stepped into the backroom locking the door behind you. That shower might have been the most heavenly experience of your life. Washing away weeks build-up of dirt on yourself. The warm water flowed down your back; you could have stayed in there forever. You stepped out wrapping the white towel around yourself as you reached for your bag. You searched through it trying to find something you could comfortably sleep in. Most stuff in there needed a wash as it was covered in dirt or sweat. You cursed under your breathe as you unlocked the bathroom door and peeked your head out.

“Hey Price?”

He was sat on the bed with his arms folded across his chest, intently watching the little crappy tv.

“Mhm?”

He said his gaze finding you, you could have sworn his eyes faltered and fell up and down you. Pushing back down the blush creeping up your cheeks you responded.

“Do you have anything I could sleep in? My stuff is all uh in need of a wash.”

“Oh, um let me look.”

He hopped off the bed and bent over to rummage around in his backpack before throwing you a khaki green shirt.

“That work?”

“Cheers.”

You closed the bathroom door again before changing into the shirt. It hung below your knees like a nightgown. It was so comfy compared to the mountains of gear you had been wearing for the previous week. It smelt like him too, it was comforting.

You walked into the room; Price had changed now. He was wearing a tight-fitting grey shirt and some baggy shorts. You had never seen him this casual, it was weird but you also liked it however you couldn’t deny how good he looked in his gear too but you would never let anyone know you thought this.

You peered over at the clock.

1:23

Price was just beginning to pull back the duvet on the left side of the bed. Would it be awkward if you did the same? God, it felt like watching an awkwardly married couple get into bed. You both climbed into the bed, the space between you was almost amusing, it was clear you were both trying to avoid one another.

“Night F/N.”

He grumbled, shuffling around to get comfy.

“Night!”

You chirped back, your voice slightly breaking in doing so.

The both of you were so tired you fell straight asleep.

 You woke up to some movement beside you in the early hours of the morning. Your eyes fluttered trying to gather your surroundings only to find yourself wrapped in someone’s arms. Realizing whose arms, it was you were torn on what to do. You decided to stay still, letting yourself take in the warmth. You lay there comfortably, his breathe tickling the top of your head as you fell asleep trying not to think about the awkward conversation this would lead to next morning.

[shibusawaz]

yknow i love the interpretations of sigma where he's just the #1 hater and is annoyed with everything his meursault homies do but WHERE IS MOM FRIEND SIGMA. where is sigma freaking the fuck ouut because dostoy fainted. WHERE is sigma dragging dazai to the detective agency to do his work. WHERE is sigma keeping nikolai on one of those baby leash backpacks. WHERE is sigma being everyones emergency contact bc hes the only one with his shit together. WHERE IS SIGMA WITH ALL OF THEM ON BABY LEASHES 😭😭😭🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

[mysteryshits]

The whole ADA/oda, ango, chuuya, akutagawa learned sign language for dazai bc he's hard of hearing

Why?

Did you not see the scenes of him being RIGHT NEXT TO GUNS GOING OFF!? not only was it for a long period of time, but most definitely happened on multiple occasions. Therefore being that close has caused him to lose some of his hearing. THEREFORE he is hard of hearing. Therefore those close to him clearly learned to help him. Therefore I want more fanart/fanfics of this.

And if this is the case, here's more of my headcanons.

Atsushi reads books when he's stressed.

Akutagawa and gin go on sibling outings on their days off.

Ranpo buys small cat plushies for fukuzawa's birthdays.

The black lizard has hangout sessions after missions where they just talk.(before the hunting dogs)

Fukuzawa sends mori hate messages when dazai, yosano, and kyoka slip out something he's done to them.

The kunikida is dazai's emergency contact information. (He's the whole agency's)

TANIZAKI LIKES ATSUSHI LEAVE ME ALONE 👎👎👎👎.

Due to having a feeble body fyodor gets sick easily. Ivan is the only one he allows to take care of him in those moments.

Nikolai always has cookies on him when he goes to see sigma.

Due to no longer being able to feel sadness, Ivan breaks out into laughter when he's supposed to feel any negative emotion.

Nikolai hates birds due to feeling trapped and unable to be free. (Although at the same time is fascinated by them.)

[yeonban]

𝐅𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒   ♡   𝐒𝐘𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄.

@lunargifted asked: 🍏 !

🍏  :    how stable is my muse’s physical health?  do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician?  do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication?  how often do they get sick?

Nikolai is perfectly apt, and he could easily become the relevant point of comparison for anyone who wishes to become healthier and requires a goal to look up to while doing so. Despite his risky lifestyle, his constant contact with poisons and weapons and his tendency for harmful behaviors, Nikolai could never be healthier than he currently is. He tends to train often, exercising every day, and he has no vices (ex. drinking, smoking etc) to speak of, so his organs are all in flawless condition as well. His constitution is especially noteworthy, particularly at the prime of his life, as he hasn't caught a single cold even after living in the harshest of climates. He could, and did, go for a swim in the Lake Baikal during winter months to test and expand his limits, and has emerged from the experience without having sniffled even once. Because of this, he doesn't bother meeting up with physicians nor doctors of any kind, and typically doesn't care to check his physical health with a professional.

Ango, on the other hand, arranges appointments with physicians and doctors from various fields every six months, to make sure his health hasn't yet deteriorated beyond repair. Unlike Nikolai, Ango's body is much more fragile, catching a cold whenever the temperature drops or rises significantly from one day to the next. Moreover, Ango's stressful lifestyle and tendency towards overworking consistently endangers his health, at times requiring him to take medication to deal with the unwanted consequences. The medication is usually aimed at keeping his heart working as intended, since the stress, severe lack of sleep, dubious choices of food and biological factors all lead to irregular heartbeats and frequent heart stings. It isn't a life-threatening condition for now, but it is a bother and definitely a concern. Besides this, Ango also necessitates meds for headaches every so often, but has learned how to ignore that pain, leading to a reduction in the amount of pills he takes for this purpose. Ango is frankly every doctor's nightmare patient, because he rarely adheres strictly to their advice and always wounds up right back in their office, generally in a worse condition than he'd been before.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

🪻 knockyasocksoff2022's Masterlist 🪻

The updated schedule is when I feel like it. I am sorry about that but my time, energy and motivation are all over the place. Please keep me accountable for updating these, I cannot keep focused on one thing for the life of me. If you want to know about any of these please just ask.

Akikajii / Kajiiko / Motosano / Yosojirou (Thou Shalt not Explode)

COMPLETED:

N/A

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

🦋Butterflies & Lemons🍋 - Chapter One

The Untold Origins if the Port Mafia (long fic) Chapters 1 - 20 / 30

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

N/A

Fukumori / Zenki Soukoku (ZSKK)

COMPLETED:

A Truce, Among Other Things (one-shot) [3,051 Words]

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

The Untold Origins of the Port Mafia (long fic) Chapters 1 - 20 / 30

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

Cherry Blossoms (one-shot + relationship reveal) (includes some implied side-ships)

Fukuzawa-Mori Elise (one-shot + relationship reveal)

The Clever Shadow of Evil (one-shot + relationship reveal)

The Reason Why Kunikida Is So Strict About Meeting Procedure - Part 2 (one-shot + relationship reveal)

Fyolai / Fyogol

COMPLETED:

Dizzy (one-shot)

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

N/A

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

Contortions (one-shot + fluff + slight crack + Nikolai being a weirdo (affectionate) and using his hypermobility to gross Fyo out)

Oh, Nikolai (sick-fic + them being domestic in their own goofy way)

No title, but it’s based extremely loosely on 5ft Apart

Kunikidazai / Kunidazai

COMPLETED:

N/A

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

IDEALS (fic) Chapters 1 - 13

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

N/A

Ranpoe

COMPLETED:

My Dear Ranpo (one-shot + relationship reveal) [1,055 Words]

May I Love You? (one-shot + relationship reveal) [1,468 Words]

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

The Cask of Manhasset (fic) Chapters 1 - 6

The Untold Origins of the Port Mafia (long fic) Chapters 1 - 20 / 30

RANPOE!!! one ICE (YURI!!! on ICE AU fic) Chapter 1

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

Even Authors Need rest (one-shot + relationship reveal)

Lost (one-shot + relationship reveal)

Manhasset Security's Security Measures (one-shot + relationship reveal)

Mission in the Rain (one-shot + sickfic + relationship reveal)

Ranpo Guild AU (fic, includes a relationship reveal, but that’s not the main focus. Mainly it’s Ranpoe getting together)

Surprise!!! (one-shot + choas/crack + relationship reveal)

The ADA's Newest Member (one-shot + relationship reveal)

Shin Soukoku (SSKK)

COMPLETED:

N/A

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

Vampires Beneath the Moonlight (fic) Chapter 1 - 2 [2,638 Words]

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

Horimiya (The Misisng Pieces) AU

AU where they’re both in the orphanage together (and Gin is there too)

Soukoku (SKK)

COMPLETED:

Chibis makes the best lunches (one-shot) [1,177 Words]

Dancing with My Love (one-shot) [1,472 Words]

Executive Dazai (one-shot) [4,154 Words]

"Mr. Dazai, your son threw up at school." (one-shot) [2,360 Words]

Snowstorm (one-shot) [1,177 Words]

The Disastrous Meeting (one-shot) [3,635 Words]

The Haunted House (one-shot) [1,666 Words]

The One Day Return of Double Black (one-shot) [4,846 Words]

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

Hunger Games AU Chapter 1 - 9

More Than You Know (fic) Chapters 1 - 9

The Untold Origins of the Port Mafia (long fic) Chapters 1 - 20 / 30

Through Glass Walls

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

As Far As The Eye Can See (fic + glasses!zai AU + Age 15)

“Dazai, the love of my life, you’re a damn idiot, you know that?”

Did you ever see a ginger mackerel wearing bandages?

Emergency Contact (Or The Mackerel did WHAT now!?)

How Long Has This Been Going On?

I’m Doggy Paddling For My Sanity Over Here

Karaoke Night

Notes from Me & My Beloved

Soulmates

Stray Dogs: J-Pop Idol AU

The Reason Kunikida Is So Strict About Meeting Procedure - Part One

Suegiku / Saihiro

COMPLETED:

N/A

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

Even Fire is Defeated By The Rain

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

N/A

Tachizaki / Tachitani / Tanihara (Midwinter Snow)

COMPLETED:

What Does the Tripartite Framework Have To Do With Midwinter Snow

#1 New Place - Part One (First part of my 5 + 1 Tachizaki things collection called My 5 times the ADA almost found out about Tachizaki and the 1 time they did. I haven’t posted it on Tumblr yet. I will when it’s finished, but for now, you can find it on Wattpad.)

#3 Nicotine-Scented Love (Second part of the 5 + 1 Tachizaki things)

IN PROGRESS: (fics w/ chapters already posted)

EVERYTHING EVERY THING AU

AU loosely based on Horimiya (idk if I’ll continue it though)

COMING SOON: (one-shots still in drafts)

#2 A New Place - Part Two (Third part of the 5 + 1 Tachizaki things)

#4 Light Snow & Firearms (Fourth part of the 5 + 1 Tachizaki things)

#5 Fight (Fifth part of the 5 + 1 Tachizaki things)

A Window Into The Love Life of Tanizaki Junichirou

Motion Sick

The Mysterious Case of the Missing Red Jacket

(A/N: this took a crazy long time to make! It was mostly my fault because I went through a short phase of not posting chapters on the same post so I had to track down all of them, it was so annoying. Never Again! And I realised I forgot to post a ton of stuff, lol. So this was a great reminder and I hope it helps you all.)

[agathario]

alina: well i'm the king's wife...

mal: well i'm his husband!

 mal: and alina you're his fake wife, me on the other hand

 nikolai: real husband *heart eyes at mal*

 alina: fine, take me off emergency contact

[stargazer-sims]

The Transition

They find Ichiro Nishijima in the corridor that leads to the rink area. He isn’t doing anything, just standing there, and Nikolai gets the distinct sense that he’s been waiting for them. He doesn’t look pleased to see them as they emerge into the hallway.

Eden is clinging to Nikolai‘s hand. He moves as if he intends to walk right past Nishijima, but one of the benefits of their contact is that Nikolai can prevent him from doing that. He squeezes Eden’s fingers firmly, not so much for reassurance, but to remind him of what he needs to do. Nikolai would rather not have this conversation with Nishijima either, and he thinks he gets how Eden feels, but they cannot avoid it.

Eden fidgets, and Nikolai glances sideways at him. The young skater is smiling nervously. Anyone who doesn't know him well might mistake the expression for politeness or deference, but after so much time together, Nikolai can recognize it for what it is. He’s gotten good at reading all of Eden's body language over the years. His boy is terrified, no question, and he can't help wondering what it is about Ichiro Nishijima that inspires so much fear in Eden. What have the past three months really been like?

Ichiro: Here you are. I shouldn't be surprised.

Nikolai: Excuse me?

Ichiro: You are Nikolai Pavlenko, are you not? Back-to-back World Championship gold medalist, but never made it to the Olympics. Retired from competition at twenty-seven due to a serious injury.

Nikolai: You researched me.

Ichiro: I assume you also researched me.

Nikolai: I did, actually.

Ichiro: I research everyone I consider to be serious competition, skaters and coaches alike. It's not enough to know this one would have been a serious contender this season. I wanted to know who got him there.

Nishijima gestures at Eden as he says 'this one', like he doesn't know his name, or perhaps can't bring himself to say it. Nikolai doesn't like his turn of phrase about competition, either. It's as if, somewhere in Nishijima's mind, he's still Ren Kitagawa's coach and Eden was never his student at all.

Nikolai: What do you mean, Eden would have been a contender this season? He's going to be.

Ichiro: Not if he continues to skate the way he's been doing so far. I've seen better performances from children in the junior division.

Nikolai folds his arms across his body in a self-calming gesture, willing himself to hold his anger in check. There are a thousand possible replies he could make to this man standing in front of him, but most of them would just lead to an argument.

Nikolai: Mr. Nishijima, with all due respect—

Eden: Kolya, can we go, please? Can we just... tell him he's fired and get out of here?

Ichiro: Pardon me?

Eden: *whispering* I... I can't say it again. Please.

Ichiro: Fired. Just like that. Well, I suppose I should've seen this coming. You weren't serious at all about training with me, were you? All you were doing was wasting my time while you were keeping yourself in shape and waiting for him to get here.

Eden: No, I wasn't! I didn't think Nikolai was coming at all. I came to Japan with my brother, and I approached you because I thought you could give me what I needed. I really did want to train with you, but... but it hasn't been what I imagined, and I... I don't think it's working out.

Ichiro: At least we agree on that.

Nikolai: I think what Eden is trying to say is that the two of you aren't compatible as coach and student. He needs a much gentler approach.

Ichiro: And by that, I presume you mean I should be expected to baby him? If he wants to be coddled and have his hand held, I suggest he should find a new occupation, because there's no place for that at this level of competition. We are here to win, and I take it very seriously. I'm in the business of training champions, Mr. Pavlenko, not in the business of babysitting.

Nikolai: Have you produced any champions recently?

It's a low blow, and he knows it even before the sentence has left his mouth, but he can't help himself. He barely knows the other coach, and yet he's already developed an intense dislike for him, for his arrogance and condescension.

Nishijima stares at him, and if looks could kill, Nikolai would already be dead. He doesn't break eye contact with Nishijima, though. Under no circumstances will he allow this man to intimidate him.

When Nishijima is silent for what Nikolai estimates is far too long, he rashly adds salt to the wound he's sure he caused. It's mean. It's not like him. But, the urge to injure Nishijima in a similar way to how he'd so obviously hurt Eden is too strong for him to resist. He doesn't really care to resist, if he's being honest.

Nikolai: If you researched me, then you know two of my skaters won medals at Skate Canada last year. One of my girls won bronze in the junior division and Eden won gold in senior. And of course you know how Eden did at the Worlds last season, don't you? You were there. Your Ren placed fifth, as I recall.

Ichiro: Ren had an injury last season. This was meant to be his year.

Nikolai: It was meant to be, until it was cut short by the unfortunate incident with that snowboarder. Did any of your research tell you that was likely to happen?

Ichiro: Are you mocking me?

Nikolai: Not at all. I'm only trying to make a point.

Ichiro: Which is?

Nikolai: Research and statistics and the like can only take you so far. Not everything is about precision and control. If you want to succeed, you have to form real connections with people and consider the human element.

Ichiro: Now you're presuming to tell me how to do my job?

Nikolai: You're forgetting that it's also my job. You may have been doing it longer than me, but I'd like to think I've learned a few things that you haven't.

Nishijima's face reddens, and he draws in a breath. It doesn't take towering intellect to realize what's coming.

Ichiro: You dare to say that to me? You insolent young bast—

He doesn't get to finish. Nikolai has had enough.

Nikolai: Do not raise your voice to me, sir! I don't care who you are. I won't tolerate that from anyone, and I won't have you shouting in front of Eden. He's heard enough shouting from you for one day.

Ichiro: How dare you? You stroll in here like you own the place, you provoke me, and you expect me not to be angry?

Nikolai: No. I think you were angry before you even spoke to me, and I think that's entirely justified. I might feel the same way if I were in your place, but what I wouldn't do is take it out on my students or the other people around me. You aren't going to win any friends or allies that way.

Ichiro: I have no wish to be your friend, Mr. Pavlenko, believe me.

Nikolai: No, I didn't imagine you did. You might've benefitted from having me as an ally though, and I think I was hoping for the same in return. We might've learned from each other, but if that doesn't interest you...

Ichiro: What makes you think I would even consider such a thing, after the way you've comported yourself in front of me?

Nikolai: You… No, you know what? You're right.

Ichiro: I... pardon me?

Nikolai: I'm not handling this the way I wanted to at all. I wanted to set a good example for Eden, and I thought we could both do this like professionals, but obviously we can't. Not now, anyway. We're both too upset. Nothing's going to get resolved like this.

Ichiro: What is there to resolve? Mr. Seong has made it perfectly clear he no longer wants me to coach him. I think that's resolution enough.

Eden: I, um... I'm not handling this the way I wanted to either. There was... other stuff I thought I could say, but...

Nikolai: Come here to me, Eden. You can say what you want to say. Can't he, Mr. Nishijima?

Ichiro: *sighing* If he must.

Nikolai: It's okay, Eden. Go on.

Eden: Mr. Nishijima, I wanted to say that I'm sorry. About Ren, I mean. I realize you probably miss him a lot, and that I can't ever live up to him. Like, not for you, at least. But... but I'm not him, and I need you to understand that. I'm myself, and... I don't know. I just wanted you to see...

At this point, Eden stops talking. He lowers his head to Nikolai's shoulder and makes a small whimpering sound. Nikolai guesses from the intensity with which Eden grips his arm that he's trying to hold back more tears.

Nishijima regards Eden as if he's really noticing him for the first time that day.

Ichiro: What did you want me to see that I haven't already seen from you?

Eden: I... I wanted you to see me for who I am. I have what it takes to win, and I needed you to see that. Maybe what I can do is different than what Ren could do, but that's okay, right? The goal is still the same, but I needed you to see that the way to get there isn't the same for me as it was for him. I really did want to train with you at first, but it was too hard, and not because I'm not capable or because I need to be babied or whatever. It was because you never tried to understand how to help me, and I didn't know how to tell you.

This time, when he finishes, he is well and truly crying. That speech must've taken a lot of effort, Nikolai thinks, and it absolutely took courage. He's momentarily overwhelmed with pride for the bravery and resilience of his student, and he wants nothing more than to pull Eden in for a hug to comfort him. Of course, he can't do that with Nishijima watching. He wants to protect Eden's dignity in the face of this cold, hard-edged man who's trampled on it so much already.

Ichiro: That's... something to think about, I suppose.

Nikolai: I hope you think about it, and if you seriously want to have another top-tier student in the future, I highly suggest you do.

Ichiro: I think we're done here, Mr. Pavlenko.

Nikolai: Yes, for now. I would like to meet with you when we're both in a calmer frame of mind, though. I'd like to go over what you and Eden have already worked on for this season, and review the video of his performances from the last competition. We'll have a lot to discuss, no doubt.

Ichiro: I have nothing more to say to you.

Nikolai: I'll call you in a few days, to see if you've changed your mind. Eden has your number?

Ichiro: He does.

Nikolai: Good. I'll be in touch. Eden, are you ready to go home?

Eden: *sniffling* Yeah, and I don't ever want to come back here again.

Nikolai: We'll revisit that in the morning, once you've had a nice meal and a long rest and perhaps some good news from your brother. Okay?

Eden: Okay, but if I do come back tomorrow, can we just skate for fun? No routines or anything?

Nikolai: We can. After all this, I think you deserve a day of fun.

[gunmetalgrey]

H E A D C A N O N | THE DEATH OF SEBASTIAN MORAN

TW FOR DRUGS, ADDICTION, OVERDOSE AND DEATH.

Note: over the last ten years, @epiitaphs and I have worked together to create a shared Moran Family. I am always open to writing with other Morans and would love to do more in general, however if you do not write a Moran then THIS is the events in Alex’s canon. If you would like to understand more or plot familial ties with Alex, please know my IM’s are always open. And to @epiitaphs, Alex the muse will always hate you for making Alex the cat.

Sebastian Nikolai James Moran was the eldest of the Moran children, and Alex’s hero. They always struggled with a weird and uneasy relationship, given the age gap. He and Severin liked to pretend Alex was invisible for several years while she was small until as an unruly and hellish teenager she had a sense of rebellion that could outshine his own. They were alike in some ways, and vastly different in others. Over the years there were phases of talking and not talking, which became worse in the early 200’s when Sebastian officially cut off the entire family.

Struggling with undiagnosed PTSD and a dishonourable discharge that his father had managed to get him rather than the prison time he had been due to serve, Sebastian turned to opiates. And murder as a means of earning enough to keep up the habit. Alex didn’t know of this until much later, she herself was injured in the line of duty in November 2010. Despite all the friction between them, his last known number was her emergency contact and he had been the one to nurse her back to functional health. It was during this time she learned of what she had missed in his life, and when forced to take her own discharge on medical grounds, asked to help him in his new found criminal career as well as helping him stay sane and sober. Seb was clean since November 2009, and planned to stay that way.

It wasn’t an easy fit, in February 2014 Alex faked her death and forced an unknowing Sebastian to identify the body. This is the last time she existed as Alex Moran, and any other relatives believe she is buried somewhere near Bristol. She showed up in Sebs flat two weeks later with little to no explanation. And worse still, they fought physically in March 2014 when Alex tried to leave to work alone.

Sebastian is the one who had a relationship with Moriarty (known as M) in whatever twisted way that could be understood. Alex didn’t know much about their deal until March 2015- when Sebastian made a further bargain with M. For nearly 18 months, Alex had been captured and tortured by Georgian terrorists and when learning she was alive, Sebastian made a deal for her freedom. She too would work for Moriarty to earn back her ransom.

Alex did not agree to this and wasn’t aware of the promises made till much later (when it was far too late). She had always resented and hated M, and generally does not deal with him at all. Sebastian in the middle man- or he was. In September 2017, Alex was finally pushed too far.

She was asked to kill a family of 5, including three children. Up to this point, Alex had been able to live with herself by counting the lives she had ended as for the better, usually criminals or those wishing to bring harm. But she has always had a rule about children. And she told Moriarty that this was too far. He could end their deal, he could take her life, but she would not hurt a kid. Ever.

Alex believed her defiance had been heard and maybe even respected. She was sent on another job out of town for a week, and out of contact. She returned to London to find news of the family in Sweden found massacred in their home, and knowing it had to be Sebastian who had committed the horrible act, she went to his flat to confront him.

Instead she found him dead of an apparent overdose.

To her dying day, she doesn’t believe he would have relapsed. She is left with his cat (Also called Alex, as a sick in joke) and a mountain of grief she cannot begin to process. As well as the same employer she believes is responsible for his death. Sebastian’s body was found in his apartment, his indoor cat rehomed to a happy family and the tabloids having a small field day over the third dead child of the MP Thomas Moran. It took a week for Alex (the human) to trap Alex (the stray black cat) in order to make sure she wasn’t a nuisance for other neighbour and to have the last connection to her brother. The apartment was sold, the media moved on and everyone else forgot about the junkie son of a House of Lords politician.

Except for Alex, who finally understood there was no safety while M was alive.

[writer-of-various]

I posted 674 times in 2022

That's 34 more posts than 2021!

552 posts created (82%)

122 posts reblogged (18%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mayaibnlaahad

@gurlbye-1

@pricescigar

@adlerboi

I tagged 561 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#cod incorrect quotes - 259 posts

#cod cold war - 222 posts

#cod bell - 184 posts

#cod mason - 97 posts

#cod adler - 84 posts

#cod woods - 74 posts

#cod hudson - 57 posts

#oc bell - 48 posts

#emilia emilsdóttir - 45 posts

#cod ww2 - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 67 characters

#fun fact: shes my second oldest bell with emilia being the youngest

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

More Shenanigans

Alejandro, Gaz & Ghost: *screaming*

Rudy: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Ghost?!

Alejandro: Wait, why are you asking Ghost that when Gaz and I are also here?

Rudy: Because Ghost wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

...

Rudy: Hi, who's this? Price changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Amanda: What's mine?

Rudy: Dwarf.

Amanda: HE'S SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

Rudy: Oh, hey Amanda.

Amanda: FUCK!

...

Gaz, texting Soap: Soap there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it?

Gaz: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry

Gaz: Soap

Gaz: Soap

Soap: Soap is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

...

Gaz, holding a scooter: Price! Can I go outside and play with this?

Price: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay?

Gaz, running outside: Thanks Price!

Price, running out after him and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

...

Price: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store?

Ghost: I thought the animals might be lonely.

87 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

#4

Ghost: *dies*

Roach: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months!

Yuri: Bullshit. One month.

Nikolai: Nah, half a month.

Amanda, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GHOST JUST DIED!

Frost, scratching chin in thought: One week.

102 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#3

One of the many reasons why Alejandro hates Graves

Graves nudges Soap, nodding his head to Rudy, who stood a meter away from them slightly leaning over a table to look over at a map.

"That's Rodolfo, right?" He asks and Soap nods in confirmation, raising a brow as Graves lets out a wolf whistle. "Damn, Vaquero has a nice ass. He single?"

Ghost has to hold back Alejandro from killing the American there and then, and all Soap does is cackle from the entertainment.

142 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#2

Amanda: I'm not buying you a cat

Soap: Why?!

Amanda: Because you can just find a stray one and train it!

Soap: What if it has a family

Amanda: ...

Price: Don't worry, I got this. Soap, son, IT'S A STRAY!

Soap: So is Ghost!

Ghost: True.

154 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Chris, looks up from gen: Where's Leon?

Rebecca, concerned: Where's the killer and Leon?

Across the map...

Leon: Now destroy my boon

Wesker, raises a brow: But you just blessed it.

Leon: Yeah but...I wanna spend more time with you

Wesker: ...fine *certainly does not blush*

168 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[clown-demon]

@tres-fidelis

...were they...talking to her? Or were they speaking nonchalantly to no one in particular? Perhaps talking out loud to themselves?

Jayden grew used to strangers abruptly blocking her path, or others grabbing for her attention since they recognized her face. Rarely did they ever want to exchange pleasant conversation or compliment her own reporting since she was still rather new to the country. More times than not those people found their needs and wants more important than that of a news figure. Or even a person with no recognition to their name.

It's always about the self. What you wanted, what kind of gain or reward or satisfaction came from your own actions. Not once did these people think about the consequences which came because of their acts. That's what Jayden always assumed, for the most part. Some knew what would become of their words or deeds, savoring in the trouble they aroused or the reactive emotions. It made her sick at times, the things she heard others say about her just out of earshot or even spitting in her face.

She grew used to it at this point. Not many favored seeing her own skills on-screen, or her status as a foreigner too. More times than not, when strangers attempted approaching her, a wall of caution always threw itself up front. The chance of pleasantries grew slim, each and every week upon her travels into the city proper. This man, in particular, definitely showed red flags.

No eye contact. No sign of acknowledgement, even if his attire was bright and contrasting the sea of walking suits. If she didn't respond, or if she quickened her pace, he would move on. Bother someone other unsuspecting victim, not her. That's only what Jayden hoped would be her outcome.

The man had turned slightly, revealing he had a phone in his hand, talking to someone. It might seem he was chatting with a friend, but in reality he just called up a random number and started to chat to them about birds and their mating dance. He was actually surprised the other person didn't immediately hang up on him.. They seemed amused by being called by a random number and be chatted to about birds..

However, the other line was busy and they soon said their goodbyes and Nikolai hung up on them to tuck his phone back into his pocket.

The magician then turned, facing a girl who was looking at him briefly and then made no contact afterwards... All it would take is ONE single look to the clown, and he would be on them like a shark seeing a bleeding body.

She passed him, and he followed after her. He took out his cane from his coat and twirled it in his hand before clicking it to the ground to stroll with. At first, it might seem like the man was just going in the same direction as her. Whistling an innocent tune as he walked on. Then something strange would happen.

He placed a hand in his coat. Suddenly in front of the stranger that was walking in front of him, a hand would emerge from a portal right in front of her. About face height, palm up as if to say 'stop.' It stayed there for a moment as Nikolai caught up to her.

"You looked at me~. And now I must show you a trick~," he stated as he pulled his hand back out of his cape. The hand in front of her disappearing. "Tell me... what is your favorite animal~?"

Luckily (for now) she would get a harmless trick. Just a balloon animal he would make. Though, if she were to run, she might be chased by the man... He loved to mess with people, and be a pest.

[aknosde]

in the wake

// Nikolai Lantsov & Genya Safin // Alternate Universe - Modern Setting // Implied/Referenced Character Death (dominik’s)  // Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con (very very faint ref to Genya’s past) // Late Night Conversation (in cars!) // 1k

im working on a modern zoyali au but rn all you get is nikolai’s backstory rip

ao3

—————

Nikolai dreams of Dominik again.

They’re a tricky thing, dreams. Malleable to the touch; a moment away from becoming safe haven or nightmare. Nikolai has dreamt of Dominik seemingly thousands of times in the past months—of passing notes in class; hugging after races; chasing each other through the fields between their houses. The image always falls on its side, though, and in the end Nikolai is left on the sidewalk, his best friend’s blood sprayed across his cheek.

He wakes up in the back of Genya’s beat-up Lada Granta, scrubbing at his face.

“Oh,” she says, voice soft, when he sits up, making eye contact with him through the rearview mirror. “Come on up here.”

It’s all Nikolai can do to nod. He’s unbuckled, curled up in her back seat in a nest of his rowing gear, only partially changed out of his uniform. His shoulders and legs ache with it, but he pushes through the gap between the driver’s and passenger’s seats to drop himself next to her. She reaches over to comb back his river-damp hair with one hand, eyes still on the road.

“I wonder what would happen if we diffused that,” she says, absently rubbing a curl between her fingers before returning her hand to the wheel.

Genya Safin is Nikolai’s Eighth Wonder of the World. He regrets not a second of their friendship, except perhaps the fact that it was catalyzed by Dominik’s death. Sitting on the Vertov's back steps, Genya holding an ice pack to Nikoali’s fractured cheekbone, their voices hoarse from their screaming match in Dominik’s bedroom, Dominik’s wake in full swing inside, will go down as one of the best and worst nights in Nikolai’s life. If he’s not to be blessed with another miracle for the rest of his days he’ll die a happy man.

He attempts to picture his hair in the days before morning showers and mousse. “My mother would hate you forever.”

Genya laughs. “Doesn’t she all ready?”

They are a pair beyond anyone’s logic or expectations. He’d be lying if that wasn’t something he liked about them.

Genya’s got the windows down and the air conditioner blasting, an obsolete combination that Nikolai can just barely trace back to his post-regatta self, collapsing dramatically in her back seat and kicking his shoes off. The river was cold and he was hot with the adrenaline of it. Now, he finishes tugging on a clean sweatshirt and tries, again, to wipe Dominik’s blood off his jaw. He can feel it in his ear, in his hair, turning tacky and antiseptic in the emergency room.

“You’re crying, Nikolai,” Genya tells him as he swipes at his face.

He looks down; his hand is clean. He tastes salt.

Genya passes him a face wipe and gives him a moment to gather his bearings. She’s odd like that; as much as she relishes needling his façades away, she always allows him the time to put them back up.

“Gross,” she says when he blows his nose into the wipe. He chucks it at her in revenge but she ducks and it lands on her window with a damp thump before sliding to the ground. Genya cusses him out and makes the next left much harder than it has to be. They lapse into an amused silence, her with her eyes trained carefully on the tail lights ahead of them and him slumping against the passenger seat, giving sleep his next-best go.

It’s not a good one. He rests an arm on the open window, hand hanging out and fingers moving through the cool night air. Cars race by in a red-white blur of head and tail lights, and Nikolai looks out in the distance to dimly lit neighborhoods and their sparsely-dotted farming neighbors. The drive to the regatta was excruciatingly long but he finds himself appreciating it on the way back; the thought of being home is exhausting.

“I should be over this, right?” he asks as they pass a gas station.

Genya nearly jumps. “I thought you were asleep.”

He ignores her. “The forty days have passed, I should be over this right?” Nikolai isn’t a superstitious person, but that doesn’t mean he can’t find merit in tradition.

“He was your best friend,” Genya says, flicking on her turn signal.

“I killed him.”

“Stop saying that.”

She had been stunned silent the first time he told her, chest heaving and only an arm’s length away from Dominik’s track trophies. They had both been crying in his bedroom and though it was still full of his things it had felt inexplicably empty, the life of it absent.

“There’s a world where we never met and he’s still alive,” Nikolai tells her now. He can feel the dried tears on his cheeks like a stain.

“And there’s a world where he died sooner,” Genya snaps. Sometimes they’re still fighting in Dominik’s bedroom. A beat. “You're too pretty for self-pity, Nik. There’s nothing you can do to change the past. I know you don’t believe me now, but I promise you: none of this is your fault. No one else thinks so.”

He must be quiet a moment too long, because Genya’s expression turns to one of rage, gloriously incongruous on her flawless face. “I’m going to castrate your father,” she says, teeth gritted.

“And you’d have every right to.” They’re talking about different things.

“Fuck your parents. You’re coming home with me tonight.”

“Genya–” he starts.

“No.” She holds a hand up. “Nikolai, you've bought me coffee every morning for the past two months, you drove me to school and work when this hunk of junk was under repair, you fixed my grandfather’s watch. You can crash at mine.”

“Okay.”

Genya must be expecting him to put up more of a fight because she turns to him with an arched brow. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

Genya leans back in her seat, giving the road a self-satisfied smile. Her mascara is coming off and her eyeliner is smudging, perfume fading behind the smell of the riverbank and her car. Homework is falling out of her purse in the back seat and she’s tapped one of the rearview mirrors into place. Nikolai thinks she may be one of the most perfect people in the world.

“Good,” she says.

[goldengoddess]

proud of you - nikolai lantsov ♡

pairing: nikolai lantsov x female!reader

request: would you be willing to write about nikolai telling reader (can be she or they/them - anything works <3) that he is proud of them because he knows they are stressed being a queen and doing all the meetings and paper work and they just need the assurance?

authors note: hello lovely readers! enjoy this sweet nikolai fic (slightly short) while i think about how much i miss the grishaverse universe and characters. i didnt proof read this im sorry

warnings: stressed out reader, skipping lunch because they’re busy

no one had ever told you that being queen required so much paperwork.

if they’d told you, maybe you would have considered your beautiful husband’s marriage proposal more carefully.

as the thought slipped into your head, you couldn’t help the small smile on your face. who were you kidding? you would have said yes to marrying nikolai no matter what.

but the headache splitting your brain in half might have made you hesitate at least a second or two.

you’d been sitting at your desk for hours. and as you looked out the window now, you realize the sun has almost disappeared past the horizon. unfortunately the pile of papers to your right indicated you had another couple of hours left before you could finish.

this night was shaping up to be very very very long. like the night before. and the night before last night. and practically all nights since you’d really decided to dedicate yourself to your duties as a queen. you let out a soft groan and let your head fall onto the desk.

a soft squeak from the door behind you pushed you to lift your head. nikolai, in all his kingly fashion, walked through the door and into your office.

against your will and the circumstances, you felt yourself relax simply at his presence. you hoped that nikolai never realized just how large of an effect he has on you. that boys ego was big enough.

you turned back to the half finished letter in front of you. nikolai could come to you for change. you were his queen too after all.

the soft pressure of hands on your shoulders made you release an involuntary sigh. those magical hands. you leaned your head back to find those blue eyes already looking down at you.

“hey sweetheart. how you feeling?” even the sound of his voice, although most of the time annoyingly commenting in your ear, calmed you down.

you pouted up at him, making it clear exactly how you were feeling. the little knowing smirk on his face at the sight of the overflowing paperwork on your desk almost made you want to punch him.

he gave your shoulders a firm squeeze and then turned your chair so you were facing him head on. he kneeled down slowly to be at your eye level, taking your hands in his.

“that bad of a day huh?” he asked, tilting his head to the side in a way that reminded you of your childhood golden retriever.

you shook your head and let out a small breath. “no, not that bad. just extremely busy.” he gave you a small nod to encourage you to keep going. sucking another breath in you went on, “i just was in meetings all morning. and then zoya called me in on an emergency during lunch so i didn’t even get a chance to eat. and when that meeting went long i fell behind on paperwork, of course. so now im going to be here for hours and wake up tomorrow on about two hours of sleep.”

the confession tumbled out of you faster than you can shut your mouth. you felt nikolai give your hands two strong squeezes. you couldn’t help blinking rapidly and the few tears that slipped out of your eyes.

the usual smirk that nikolai permanently had on his face was missing, when you finally made eye contact with him. instead, you could read sympathy all of his beautiful perfect face. tugging slightly on your hands he pulls you out of your seat and towards the coach onto the other side of the room.

protesting, you pulled against his grip. “no nikolai i’ve gotta work. there’s so much to do i-”

“sh sh sh. nope i don’t wanna hear another sound out of you. just sit down with me for a second.”

knowing that there was no reasoning with him, you allowed him to sit you down on the sofa, right beside him. well more like slightly on top of him. your leg on top of his, his hands in yours, shoulders pressing into each other.

“my love,” he started, “you have been working yourself to death.”

you let out a sarcastic laugh, “you’re telling me?”

one side of his lips quirked upwards which caused the same reaction on your own face.

“you’ve been working so hard. you’re honestly putting me to shame. people in the palace are going to start realizing you’re doing more work for ravka than i am.”

you chuckled as he left a small kiss on your shoulder. “and we wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

he shook his head, smiling towards you. “no, we would not. you’d ruin the whole reputation that i’ve got going.”

he took a deep breath. one extra kiss on your shoulder. “but more important than my fragile ego and reputation, is the dedication you have to this country, the crown, to me. you’re an example. you put about a million percent into everything you do and i can’t even fathom how you’re still standing after the day you’ve had.” one more kiss, closer to your neck this time.

“so i really mean it when i say to you: i am so incredibly proud of you. the most proud. you are a role model for so many people. including me. all the meeting and paper work and running around getting everything done. so proud of you sweetheart.” the last phrase was whispered into your shoulder, like a confession.

at his words, the few small tears turned into larger more sob like tears. nikolai didn’t even hesitate to pull you into his chest. and he held you and kissed your forehead and though you weren’t sure you swore he was mumbling “so proud of you” over and over into your hair.

“i really,” you started and then stopped to hiccup, “i really needed to hear that.”

“we’ll it was my pleasure to be able to say it to you my sweet queen.” you chucked. and if you could save that laugh in a locket and chain it your neck, you would.

“i love you so much” you whispered to him, paying back his earlier kisses with your own on his neck.

“and i love you my hardworking wife. and once again, im so proud of you.” he kissed your forehead before saying:

“there’s no one i’d rather have ruling by my side.”

taglist ;

@vintagebitc @obiwansjedi

@thegirlwiththeimpala @hybrid-in-progress @mrs-brekker15

@mrsbrekkers @simplyluvzuko @ode-to-joy @gallysonegoodlung @sixofshadowandbone @castielcouldbeasecretdentist @amourslover @caaarstairs @the-jess-life @xsamsharons @heavenlymidnights @tinyfwoggie @the-abyss-gazed-back @subjecta13-thefangirl @ughgclden @brekker-andhiswraith @ilovemarvelanne1 @lostinketterdam @anything-forourmoony @treasureofmy-heart @buckystarlight @deardiarystuff @bookishcrows @kazsimp @that-one-little-soybean @ronnieissupermegafoxyawesomehot

[yeonban]

Unprompted!

@skilledsenses asked: Another year passes and it’s with cheerfulness that Ranpo joins the rest of the agency to watch the fireworks. He has always enjoyed these sort of events where they can be at ease, looking back at the year well spent and despite the many challenges thrown at them, everyone’s still here. 

He gets to enjoy some sparklers with Yosano and Naomi, while the others goof around as usual. And it’s not long before the first fireworks start and the mood visibly lightens up once more. The detective knows that he will be here soon (or perhaps it is more accurate to say that Ranpo will disappear soon!) and so he spends the last few minutes chatting away with the president and Yosano. Anyone who knows him well enough will notice that it seems like he’s about to call it an early night - nothing unusual for him either, even if the reasoning tonight is another.

“Byebyeee~!” Still facing them, Ranpo says with a big grin and even bigger waves of his arms as he slowly moves backwards, the bag filled with his goods still left there, seemingly forgotten; before a familiar portal sucks him in and he finds himself in the arms of a certain man. 

“Let’s stay close so I can watch them, okay, Kolya~?” Ranpo also has something else for him as a gift, but that can wait; for now he simply glances up to watch him with an amused smile.

As if on cue (perhaps the clown has been watching the heartwarming celebration between Japan's harbingers of justice from within the shadows?) Nikolai's arms vanish into his cloak and re-emerge alongside their newest catch, wrapped around the detective's body as his voice and visage beam with a mixture of excitement and falsified shock at the totally unforeseen meeting! His grip grows firmer, slowly tightening the embrace, and he leads Ranpo rearwards, allowing his back to come into contact with the jester's abdomen in something akin to a hug while looking down at him. ❛ Well I'll be! If it isn't Ranpo-kun~! What a-- ❜ surprise. chance meeting. so many more of the same ilk. Yet each and every potential continuation fades into nothingness before it can bathe in the fireworks' light, his previous train of thought abandoned after being met with a thoroughly unexpected form of affection, from an equally unexpected source.

Kolya. The grip he has on the other's body loosens slightly, the newly settled silence resembling that of a show which has come to an end - roaring applauses morphing into the eerie quietude only ever found backstage once a clown is left to his own devices, shielded from the public's sight, and Nikolai's gaze trails down to Ranpo's lips, the smile present there proposing a checkmate without the need for any supplementary remarks. Kolya. There's a swirl of emotions battling for supremacy in the depths of his stomach, and he finds it vexing to observe the effects such a simple word, uttered by someone who might mean the familiarity brought with it, has on him. But his lips curl leisurely into a smile to match the detective's, and he painstakingly begins to search for the words to speak again. Kolya.

What a mess. ❛ ...Sure. We can keep to somewhere close by. ❜ In the blink of an eye, one arm abandons its former spot on Ranpo's body and clasps the edges of his cloak, draping it over the both of them and temporarily soaking them in complete darkness. This time, the jester joins his attendant in the vanishing act, and rather than recalcitrantly follow his original plan, Nikolai chooses to obey this request, faithfully teleporting them to the roof of the nearest high building. It's almost odd how perfectly tailored the chosen spot appears to be, with the detectives' shenanigans in their direct line of vision and no railings to obstruct either of their visions (though it'd have been a safety hazard, if his ability couldn't have been relied on). He opts to sit down at the edge of the roof and drag Ranpo down with him, shifting his pose just enough to allow the other to sit comfortably between his legs; before his arms promptly return to caging the detective as if it were he with the ability to disappear, rather than himself.

Why does Ranpo know of that nickname, when none who could have let it slip still walk the earth? His parents had never used it, neither had his colleagues, and Fyodor... the question becomes more pressing by the second, it connects to others of its kind and soon becomes why has Ranpo looked into my culture? Had it been prior to the Decay's fall, it would have been as easy a guess as any, but what could he wish to reap now, from a clown left without his circus? The only answer that comes to mind unsettles him, and Nikolai hums thoughtfully, glancing at his conniving friend instead of staring at the show of fireworks. If Ranpo has embarked on a journey to learn more about him without his knowledge, then what other surprises should he be expecting in the upcoming months?

Slowly and without warning, he presses his face into the other's shoulder blade to shield himself from Ranpo's eyes while attempting to figure out what he ought to do going forward with the information he's learned today. How sly of a move this had been, to carefreely cause such a ruckus in his soul, to disturb the misery in his heart with a sole word, and to nevertheless act as though nothing of note has happened. His head tilts to the side to allow Ranpo to see the daring grin that blooms in doomed amusement once he finally decides to acknowledge the nickname out loud, simultaneously taking the opportunity to notice every detail on his friend's face from up close.

With this distressing act of affection being vocalized on New Year's of all days... ❛ Should I take this as a warning that you intend to make a habit out of surprising me come next year, dear солнышко~? ❜ I hope you do / I hope you don't ; Please look even deeper into my soul / Please don't try to know me better ; I want to hear you say it again... / ...You shouldn't get any closer than this.

[spxlledinks]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐄 | a playlist feat. the unraveling of 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐉𝐄 𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐊𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐍 

❛ ...honey, you are nothing to me, i don’t call people anything that’s thought to be so sweet... ❜

presumably dead arm x sidney gish

first love late spring x mitski

night shift x lucy dacus

cold love x rainbow kitten surprise

ya’aburnee x halsey

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𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍: ya'aburnee - aka. flashes of the aftermath

𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: catskill mountains, new york; march-july 2022

2 AM. A CRUMBLED BALL OF PAPER hits the back of the can. ❛ It is with deep sorrow and profound sadness that we announce.... ❜ She has the letter memorized, every word irreversibly seared into her brain. For the first few days, she recited it to herself — a mantra that sliced deeper with each repetition.

Penetrating injury to the abdomen. Line of duty death. Unmarked bullet. No other casualties.

She's proud of that, she would be proud of it; the bullet had not found purchase in its already-wounded target. Instead, it found the captain's mesenteric artery.

They got her address from the marriage license, her phone number from the emergency contact list. She hasn't answered any calls since that one. The blind panic that clung to her on the ride to the hospital still lingers, the helplessness as she wove through traffic. Not fast enough, never fast enough.

But she made it. She was there.

Hadn’t she wished for her death that night in the alley? Accused her of abandonment? Irony always did have a way of screwing her over.

❛ ...you got a 9 to 5, so i'll take the night shift. and i'll never see you again if i can help it...❜

The pungent aroma of disinfectant and a red-filled cap mark 10 AM.

❛ Let me know if you need a break. ❜

The tattoo parlor is small, as most things in the town are, and her machine almost sounds too loud. Too aggressive in a town that exists as a time capsule, the flickering lights of the fifties style diner across the street an indication of who lives here. Who belongs here.

She doesn't ask if it hurts. It's a stupid question to ask as someone repeatedly plunges needles into soft flesh; not hard enough to bleed, but enough to set ink permanently beneath the dermis.

Nikolai was there when she immortalized the captain into her skin, a night-blooming cereus. He had flown in for the funeral of a woman he’d hardly known simply because of the way his sister's voice cracked on the phone. Carrying her back into his condo afterward when her legs refused to work.

She swallows, barely noticing when she finishes the design.

❛ ...please hurry leave me, i can't breathe. please don't say you love me...❜

At 9 PM, she curses her for taking in mammoths for pets.

❛ You love them. ❜

She’s not hearing voices, she’s not. That would be weird, a definitive sign of the loss of one's sanity, and she's been clinging to that with every fiber of her being. No, she feels whispers of memories, sensations of a burgeoning life in a Brooklyn loft. A future.

Sága took to her new siblings immediately, and the trio's insistence on sleeping in the bed forced them to upgrade to a king-sized mattress. No need to worry about that now.

She does love the dogs, though. One too many nights waking to a paw draped over her abdomen or warm fur pressed to her back have endeared her to them. They are good for her, help her to feel less alone. A comforting reminder of what was stolen.

So, she shoves Hop’s gargantuan head aside and takes her place amongst the canines.

❛ ...not a word was said when the lights came on or a glance given pause at the cost of our desired wrongs...❜

She is unsurprised when the clock declares the time as 12:30 AM, eyes languidly rolling to return to their trained post on the ceiling. Its wooden beams cut across the expanse of white plaster to form a series of three triangles. The largest of the triangles is positioned at the foot of the bed, just low enough to toss a rope over and hang planters — morning glories, maybe.

The house itself is earthy, shrouded by a curtain of trees that make it easy to forget the mere ten minutes to reach the town center. Black paneling, glass, and ashen rocks make it undetectable from the road. She would love it, the blonde muses.

❛ ...your face was supposed to be hanging over me like a rosary. so morose for me; seeing ghosts of me writing oaths to me, is it so naive to wonder...❜

3 AM and the dogs need to be walked. Their protests as she clips on the leashes say otherwise, but she needs a distraction. An unseasonal cold front has stopped spring in its tracks. It's warm at Nikolai's, familiar, and she's grateful to him for not changing the locks. She has successfully put off staying in her own apartment during these 'business’ trips into the city, only daring to dart in to collect the odd knife and her mail.

Only the bills, never the cards.

Chirp stops to sniff at a novelty shop. Tourist-trap shirts fill the windows, many with some variation of I Love NYC emblazoned across the front. A thousand dates to a thousand places with stupid t-shirts from each spot. Isn't that what she promised? The night is a haze at best, a black spot at worst. And yet...

❛ ... cause a part of me needs a part of you, and not just any boy is gonna do. so I’m hoping you feel the same way too, not just any girl is gonna do...❜

The birds start outside the kitchen window at 5 AM, finding her already sipping from the first of many cups of coffee that she will have today. It is flavorless, the general store's instant mix not quite the barista caliber to which she was once accustomed. Soon.

Her focus is across the room, gaze locked with the cat. Cujo sits on the mantle, perched above an overturned picture frame. The last thing to pack before they leave the cabin for good has become his latest triumph. ❛ You’re a real asshole, you know that? ❜ Originally meant to go with Parrish alongside the four other dogs that once made up her pack, the feline refuses to leave. Though her arms show the results of many fruitless attempts at forcing him, she has to admit that she has come to admire his obduracy.

So, she assumes the role of resigned caretaker, crossing the room to pick up the fallen photograph. She already knows what she will find when she rights the frame, and still, her breath catches.

The first photo they took together, found tucked away in her camera roll following the night they drunkenly said I do. She insisted on having it encased in a durable frame — ❛ permanence. ❜

The roar of an engine drowns out the birdsong as she coaxes the bike into third gear, dousing her feelings in the only way she's ever known.

❛ ...darling, you will bury me before I bury you...❜

1. presumably dead arm x sidney gish

❛ honey, you are nothing to me, alcohol and dopamine… but like an old man, say i reckon, i love you for a millisecond… i wanna know your passwords without changing them in preferences, and all the childhood streets and deceased pets that they’re referencing… honey, you are nothing to me, i don’t call people anything that’s thought to be so sweet. ❜

2. first love late spring x mitski 3. night shift x lucy dacus 4. his hands x blegh

❛ you should go to something better. i’ll give you to someone better. i have friends that’ll be on earth for longer. i have friends that won’t feel like monsters. ❜

5. cold love x rainbow kitten surprise 6. dreams tonight x alvvays 7. montero airlines x montero 8. ya’aburnee x halsey

❛ i never got to tell you how I loved the way my eyes make yours look green too. i think we could live forever in each other’s faces 'cause i always see my youth in you. and if we don’t live forever, maybe one day we’ll trade places.❜

[giomagnetism]

follow up question. what was ness’ time as an agent like / what did he do / what made him stop

[linking the post to which this question’s a follow-up because it’s a bit buried]

OK, Ness’ actual role in the NSS was like this: If you haven’t played the first game you might be unaware of the amiibo challenges, which, like it says on the tin, were challenge versions of select singleplayer levels: played with the charger, roller, or limited ink or the Kraken special depending on which one. I basically bolted Splatoon 2’s idea of “field testing” alternate weapons onto this—Marlo was too busy and impatient to do it herself, so she recruited Nikolai for the charger challenge and Ness for the roller. You can consider him a kind of “Agent 3.5”, though you wouldn’t be endearing yourself to him in doing so.

Technically, he’s not part of the “roster” and is considered a reserve agent. Cuttlefish, Callie, and Marie are like... aware of his existence, but the program was mainly in Marlo and Sheldon’s hands and they never paid much attention to Marlo after her campaign. Rome has no real idea that he was an agent—just that he’s got his nose in it—and it’s a secret he is otherwise very protective of. (Crush knows, though.)

Apart from that, he was temporary from the start. He wasn’t really meant to stick around, so he didn’t. He stayed in contact with Marlo afterward partially to stop her from trying to stalk him in the name of security and partially because it was a traumatic experience and he didn’t have anyone else to talk to. His only brush with agent work these days amounts to emergency response for Marlo when she’s down in Kamabo Co. and can’t get out on her own power.

His original field work was otherwise identical to Marlo’s, just with the roller, and with Marlo badgering him instead of Cuttlefish or Callie and Marie. And truth is, his tenure as an agent is inextricable from his relationship to Marlo in the same way Marlo’s was inextricable from them. You can’t talk about one without talking about the other, and especially not the lasting damage it inflicted on both of them.